69. Are You Weird？
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
192.8399
Summary
In this episode of The Realists, Andy Frisella speaks on the importance of being authentically who you are, and why you should quit trying to fit in online and in real life and just be you.
Transcript
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told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living
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spoke it till existence mo changed to 50 got mo cost than did i only weigh 180 but my watch
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cost 250 what's up guys andy frisella and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the
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lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality
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guys uh today i got a short real talk for you okay i'm gonna get right to the point before i
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do um please remember that our show grows when you share the show so all i ask is that if you like
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the show if you got something from it if it made you think if it made your day better if it made
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you learn uh if it made you have a different perspective if you thought there were some
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if it brought you fucking value please share the show with with your like-minded friends okay um
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that's that's how we grow we don't run ads i don't bombard you with advertising from all these
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companies for the first 10 fucking minutes uh or in the middle of the show so in exchange please
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help me out help the show out and share it out and uh make sure you're subscribed to the feed that
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really helps us with itunes it helps us get exposed to new listeners um and that's what i say when i say
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pay the fee so you guys do a really good job of that but i just want to remind you because i hadn't
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said it uh very often on the podcast recently but with that being said guys um look i want to speak
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about something that's been on my been on my mind and my heart recently um i see you know social media
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is becoming such a huge part of our lives and it's become such a huge part of our reality that a lot of
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people live more on social media than they do in real life and i think that's a big problem
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especially because i feel like people are working really really really really hard to be a persona
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online when it's not really who they are man and i want to address that you know i think a lot of
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people feel like just like you probably felt when you were in you know sixth grade or seventh grade
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man dude i remember what that's like man i remember the pressure to fit in i remember not having any
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friends i wasn't a popular kid i was the fat kid everybody made fun of all right i wasn't cool i was
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never cool and so i had a hard time making friends and i remember like you know always trying to you
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know fit in you know i wanted people to like me we all want to have friends and we want to be
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popular and that and that's okay there's nothing wrong with that but the problem i see with it is
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that a lot of people are shorting themselves on the quality of their online experience and their
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life experience by trying to become something that they just really aren't all right and i posted a
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meme a little saying you know like i do on my instagram if you guys follow me on instagram uh you
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should it's at andy frisella and i i really only do content here and on my instagram story i'm gonna
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start back up on static post soon uh but that's where i do all my stuff so i posted this thing and
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it says yo you know everyone is weird right it's not just you quit trying to be normal it's boring
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be yourself it's easier and more fun all right it's just a simple little thing and guys i got so much
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response from it because i feel like it really hit a nerve with a lot of people a lot of people
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you know motherfucker we're weird we're fucking weird people like i'm weird on the inside man
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maybe you think i'm weird on the outside too but i don't want to think for sure every other
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motherfucker listening right now you're weird as shit too you are okay you might not look weird you
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might look on the outside like you got everything together but you don't i don't you don't nobody does
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so why the fuck are we pretending to be perfect when nobody's perfect all right it makes us unhappy it
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makes us have anxiety it makes us feel like we're lying to people it makes us feel like a fraud
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okay free yourself of this shit by being who you are and that's what i want to talk about because
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when you are who you are authentically you don't have to lie people know what they're getting most of
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you know what to expect when you meet me in real life and it's funny because a lot of people will ask my
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friends or they'll ask people at first form or ask people uh here that work with me they'll say
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what's andy like in real life and they'll say well fuck dude he's exactly like he is on the podcast
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and that's because i am exactly like i am here when i meet you this isn't a fucking character i play it's
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who i am so i want you guys to understand a couple things from a practical standpoint because
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not only is there emotional freedom and lightness that comes with being who you truly are
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all right there's practical reasons for it too the reason most of you guys are pretending to be
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something online that you're really not is because you're trying to either sell something or you're
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trying to be in you're trying to get attention for some reason right you want a big following you want
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a blue check mark you want to be popular on the internet like who who knows you're trying to make
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money you're trying to do this you're trying to do that i totally get all that and i'm not condemning
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any of it all right having a strong online presence is good for you regardless of of what it is it's good
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it's a good thing because it gives you options now the problem with pretending like you're normal or
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like you're everybody else or like you're a part of this thing or that thing in terms of like how you
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take your pictures and you know i see a lot of girls copying you know girls with 10 million followers
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and doing the same faces and doing the same poses and this i get it i get it you think that's what
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you're supposed to do you don't have to live like that and that's what i'm trying to say and i'm not
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just saying it for girls because i see dudes do the same shit all right so i want you to understand
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the reason that social media gives you anxiety the reason that social media makes you frustrated
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the reason that social media is controlling your entire existence and your mental health is because
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you're not being authentic you're not who you you want to be and the reason you're not who you want
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to be is because you're afraid that if you are it's going to fuck up your shit but i'm here to tell you
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guys it's actually the opposite okay when you pretend to be normal your ability to attract other
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people gets played down okay it goes down just like on madden football and you have a guy who
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is a 99 level player and and if he gets hurt he's an 87 level player all right uh you're you're hurting
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your ability to grow and attract quality people by being something that you aren't and if you really
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knew what you would attract by being who you really are and being fearless and how you share it and i'm
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not saying you know make these long sappy posts to try to get sympathy some people get caught up in
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that shit too what i'm saying is just be who the fuck you are and what will happen is you will attract
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people like that it's a magnetic force when you're authentic and you're real and it doesn't matter if
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you're a you know a loud boisterous person who uses the curses and stuff like me or if you're a soft
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spoken person who says you know funny shit or there's room for all of us there's room for every personality
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and the reason that you're having trouble growing and the reason you're having trouble getting attention
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is because you're putting massive amounts of effort into being like everybody else think of it like
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this when you go hunting what do you wear you wear camouflage the reason you wear camouflage is because
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you don't want the animals to see you well you don't want how do you make the animals not see you you
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look like everything else so think about that when it comes to your personal brand if you look like
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everybody else and i'm not saying like physical looks i'm saying your your words your your posts
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your your beliefs if you're like everybody else you're the camouflage all right what about you
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makes you different what about you makes you unique what about you is fucking weird that you're afraid
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to share with people because it's a little bit embarrassing those are the things that attract
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other people those are the things that make people say dude i like that guy because he's just like me
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all right this is a big this is a big deal guys this will help you in all areas because one it'll
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remove a lot of anxiety and frustration from your life but two it'll actually bring you around people
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that actually believe the things you believe which will create more quality relationships in your life
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all right and that's a huge deal guys so you have to understand that when you pretend it's the same as
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putting camouflage on all right so that's the first thing the second thing i sort of covered this
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a little bit is that when you're unique and when you're who you are and and here's the thing that
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you guys have to understand is your uniqueness is your superpower what it is that you think you know
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everybody's gonna laugh at is probably a thing that's gonna make you stand out sometimes it is the
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thing that you get made fun of about for me all right it was getting stabbed in the face and i have scars
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all over my face my face was swollen to the size of a grapefruit for a year and i still have nerve damage in
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my face and if you meet me in person you're gonna be able to see it real close all right now i was
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made fun of about that i was talk shit about that all right it was embarrassing but what i realized is
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that it made me memorable it made me unique and it attracted other people to it when i embraced it
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and started telling the truth because for a long time guys the first couple years i didn't even want
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to tell people the truth i told people i was in a car accident the reason i told people i was in a car
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accident is because when i told people in a retail setting which we only had one store and we had two
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employees me and my business partner chris when i tell people oh i got fucking stabbed you know i didn't
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have all of these things now that that build credibility with people i didn't have a big company i
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didn't you know i wasn't i didn't have many companies uh i wasn't seen at as a success i was
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seen as a punk kid and that's what people thought when i told them i got stabbed so i fucking lied i
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said i got a car accident just to make it simple all right that was a mistake because had i embraced
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it and had i told the truth i would have connected with other people who have been through similar
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challenges and if you ever listen to the story of how i got stabbed and me meeting the woman who had
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been burned you know that her courage is what greatly impacted me to become who i am today it's
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still probably the most important conversation i ever had in my entire life all right so you have
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to understand that along with blending in um and being the opposite of blending in you want to figure
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out how to stand out and the best way that you could stand out guys is by being a little fucking weird
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all right so that shit that you're trying to hide those things that you're embarrassed of those things
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that mess with your head that make you think like fuck nobody gets it no motherfucker a lot of people
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get it you just think nobody gets it because you ain't fucking talking about it all right so we all have
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these things we all have these challenges we all have a story and guess what our story connects with
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other people's story and if you're too afraid to tell your story because you're afraid you're not
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going to fit in at the seventh grade fucking lunch table that is instagram right now you're not going
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to have success you're not going to have success in life you're not going to be happy you're going
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to be frustrated you're going to be filled with anxiety you're going to feel like you're doing
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something wrong and the reason you feel like you're doing something wrong is because you are doing
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something wrong you're cheating yourself of your own unique human experience all right it's very
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important now you know besides being normal and blending in and besides understanding these things
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make you stand out having differences guys actually creates a competitive edge in business a competitive
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edge in life all right how many people want to talk to the average joe who lives in you know the
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normal neighborhood who mows his grass every saturday who hides all of his deep dark secrets
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uh you know and and dude he never talks about him because you know today we're told that if you
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talk about yourself in any way you're you're you're not humble and everybody thinks that humble is you
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know the best thing to be and it is in certain circumstances but in in life circumstances sometimes the
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humility can really smash your ability to stand out and get a competitive advantage all right and so this is
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what you have to understand you have to use everybody else's fear to your benefit all right
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everybody else is fucking scared everybody else feels embarrassed everybody else is afraid to tell their
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story everybody else is afraid to step up all right so what does that mean that means it's a huge
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opportunity for you to have a competitive advantage by doing so all right when i was i don't know i guess i was
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about 30 years old i started writing motivational statuses on on facebook and uh i started to do it on
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our on a supplement superstores company page and this is how i got into motivational speaking and business
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consulting and all of these things all of these great amazing things that have happened to me over the
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last decade have happened because of one thing really that that i did um i started writing
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things that i thought were impactful and motivational and right away man i had someone that was related
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to me uh that i grew up looking up to um that i cared about their opinion comment underneath one of
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my posts and said andy i don't know who you think you are man but you ain't tony robbins and you ain't
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ever gonna be i don't know what you're trying to be you're trying to be tony robbins it now i'm
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paraphrasing it was something like that all right i think it might have been okay tony robbins like
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that something like that right we all get it though because we all get those comments
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you know this year back then i did when i post that i get my get two likes i might get three and
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guess what one was sal one was my mom and the other one's my fucking dad all right so and and maybe i
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got a couple more from guys that i actually paid their paycheck that's the truth all right and then i
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have this guy who's related to me i'm not gonna say his name because i don't want to embarrass him
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but i know who the fuck it was and i'll never forget it tell me that shit now i had two choices
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at that time i could have went into my shell and just kept all of these thoughts and these feelings
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to myself and my life would be totally different right now my life would be probably like it was then
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i probably would have never broke out of that out of that mold but i chose the other and the other
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was hey don't listen to this fucker and keep doing what you're doing you know what this year i was
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ranked the 14th best speaker on the fucking planet now tony robbins was like number two or one or
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something you know he's still better than me and i have no argument to that he's the fucking man when
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it comes to that he's been doing it for 40 fucking years so he's a hell of a lot better than me
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but i don't know that's not terrible you know what i'm saying so that's the point of what i'm
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trying to make all right we all have these unique little things and we have these unique little
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challenges and these unique little hang-ups and of course we're gonna have people not believe
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nobody fucking believes in you man you need to quit trying to think that people that you you deserve
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people's belief what have you done to deserve their belief okay people only believe after you've done
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some shit which ironically is when you don't need their belief anymore so you have to understand
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you're gonna have to step out of your comfort zone you're gonna have to be a little weird
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and you're gonna have to understand that ultimately in the long run this is what's going to create the
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life that you're looking for all right and i just wanted to bring this message to you guys i know
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it's not my normal message but i wanted to bring it to you guys because i feel like with all the
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chaos going on in the world and with all the division going on in the world and all the fucking
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hate going on in the world from all different angles people are afraid man people are scared to do
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anything they're scared to say anything they're scared to be anything and i think they're more
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afraid than ever to take a stand or be and i'm not taking i'm not saying a political stand i'm saying
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just having an opinion of anything but i can tell you guys if you never have the courage
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courage to be who it is that that that person that you are when you're alone that person you are on
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the inside you know that person that you are on the inside that you know you are but nobody else
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knows you are you know what i'm talking about i know you guys know what i'm talking about it's that
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it's that thing that you do like when you're in the shower alone you're kind of thinking about
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like who the fuck you really are i don't know maybe maybe i'm fucking weird and i'm the only one
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that does this but like when i'm in the shower you know even when i was a kid i can remember this dude
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i can remember like thinking i was going to be a rap star right and i remember in the shower like
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thinking like i would be thinking like yeah dude one day everybody's going to be in in a in a auditorium
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or a stadium and they're going to be cheering my name and shit and i'm gonna be fucking hot and i'm
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gonna be kicking ass and uh you know that never happened for me as a rap star but it did fucking
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happen to me as a speaker all right so these dreams that you have on the inside that you're
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too afraid to put out because you think they're weird or you think people are gonna make fun of
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you or you think you're not going to be in the cool kids club those dreams are coming to you for a
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reason they're showing up in your brain for a reason and you and your fear of what people are
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going to think what people are going to say and that you think you're the only one like that is
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what's keeping you from becoming that little picture that somehow forms in your brain all right
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so i want i feel like this message needs to be heard right now and that's why i wanted to record
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it for you guys so listen i'm the weirdest motherfucker there is i'll just say that so
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i'll take the title the weirdest motherfucker and then you can feel comfortable being you because
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you're not as fucking weird all right there's nothing to be afraid of you yes you're gonna have
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some comments from some strangers that you never met in your life yes you're gonna have family members
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that make fun of you and tease you but i'm gonna tell you what they're not gonna be teasing you when
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you're paying their motherfucking paychecks okay be who you are be who you know you are be who you
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know you're supposed to be and commit to being that every single day guys this is what most of you
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guys are doing wrong on social media it's what most of you guys do wrong in life and it's what
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we can all be better at doing right we can all be better about this we can all be better about being
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better versions of who we are let me tell you the best benefit of this the best benefit of this
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is that if you have kids or you have people that follow you let's say you're the owner of a company
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like me or maybe you're a manager or maybe you're a coach whoever it is that you're leading because
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all of you are leading somebody all of you whether you think so or not there's somebody that's paying
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attention to what it is you're doing you're you're you're obligated to lead those people when you
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start doing you you're going to inspire other people to do the same and a lot of good comes from
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that and by the way when you first start doing you you're not going to be great at doing you
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it takes practice it takes consistency it takes years it takes courage all right but wouldn't you
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want your life to be the example of that for other people for the people that look up to you don't you
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want people who look up to you to love you for the fact that you are who the fuck you are
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and that you stand for what you stand for i think that's what we all want all right so stop getting
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in your own way we're all fucking weird but i'm the weirdest
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told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living down spoke it till
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existed while i'm from where you can't trust so welcome