REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 69. Are You Weird？

00:00:00.000 told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living 1.00

00:00:04.680 spoke it till existence mo changed to 50 got mo cost than did i only weigh 180 but my watch 0.99

00:00:11.720 cost 250 what's up guys andy frisella and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the 0.98

00:00:17.960 lies the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality 0.91

00:00:23.940 guys uh today i got a short real talk for you okay i'm gonna get right to the point before i

00:00:29.760 do um please remember that our show grows when you share the show so all i ask is that if you like

00:00:38.500 the show if you got something from it if it made you think if it made your day better if it made

00:00:42.740 you learn uh if it made you have a different perspective if you thought there were some

00:00:47.080 if it brought you fucking value please share the show with with your like-minded friends okay um 0.92

00:00:53.500 that's that's how we grow we don't run ads i don't bombard you with advertising from all these 0.97

00:00:58.440 companies for the first 10 fucking minutes uh or in the middle of the show so in exchange please 0.98

00:01:05.260 help me out help the show out and share it out and uh make sure you're subscribed to the feed that 0.92

00:01:09.880 really helps us with itunes it helps us get exposed to new listeners um and that's what i say when i say

00:01:15.620 pay the fee so you guys do a really good job of that but i just want to remind you because i hadn't

00:01:20.080 said it uh very often on the podcast recently but with that being said guys um look i want to speak

00:01:27.420 about something that's been on my been on my mind and my heart recently um i see you know social media

00:01:35.860 is becoming such a huge part of our lives and it's become such a huge part of our reality that a lot of

00:01:44.100 people live more on social media than they do in real life and i think that's a big problem

00:01:49.400 especially because i feel like people are working really really really really hard to be a persona

00:02:01.240 online when it's not really who they are man and i want to address that you know i think a lot of

00:02:09.280 people feel like just like you probably felt when you were in you know sixth grade or seventh grade

00:02:15.820 man dude i remember what that's like man i remember the pressure to fit in i remember not having any

00:02:21.300 friends i wasn't a popular kid i was the fat kid everybody made fun of all right i wasn't cool i was

00:02:27.320 never cool and so i had a hard time making friends and i remember like you know always trying to you

00:02:33.800 know fit in you know i wanted people to like me we all want to have friends and we want to be

00:02:38.660 popular and that and that's okay there's nothing wrong with that but the problem i see with it is

00:02:43.900 that a lot of people are shorting themselves on the quality of their online experience and their

00:02:50.480 life experience by trying to become something that they just really aren't all right and i posted a

00:02:57.720 meme a little saying you know like i do on my instagram if you guys follow me on instagram uh you

00:03:02.460 should it's at andy frisella and i i really only do content here and on my instagram story i'm gonna

00:03:08.060 start back up on static post soon uh but that's where i do all my stuff so i posted this thing and

00:03:15.360 it says yo you know everyone is weird right it's not just you quit trying to be normal it's boring

00:03:22.640 be yourself it's easier and more fun all right it's just a simple little thing and guys i got so much

00:03:29.340 response from it because i feel like it really hit a nerve with a lot of people a lot of people 0.99

00:03:34.660 you know motherfucker we're weird we're fucking weird people like i'm weird on the inside man 0.99

00:03:40.900 maybe you think i'm weird on the outside too but i don't want to think for sure every other 1.00

00:03:44.480 motherfucker listening right now you're weird as shit too you are okay you might not look weird you 0.99

00:03:49.900 might look on the outside like you got everything together but you don't i don't you don't nobody does 1.00

00:03:55.460 so why the fuck are we pretending to be perfect when nobody's perfect all right it makes us unhappy it 0.95

00:04:01.620 makes us have anxiety it makes us feel like we're lying to people it makes us feel like a fraud 0.99

00:04:06.500 okay free yourself of this shit by being who you are and that's what i want to talk about because 0.93

00:04:12.880 when you are who you are authentically you don't have to lie people know what they're getting most of 0.98

00:04:20.080 you know what to expect when you meet me in real life and it's funny because a lot of people will ask my

00:04:27.440 friends or they'll ask people at first form or ask people uh here that work with me they'll say 0.94

00:04:32.680 what's andy like in real life and they'll say well fuck dude he's exactly like he is on the podcast 0.97

00:04:37.340 and that's because i am exactly like i am here when i meet you this isn't a fucking character i play it's 0.96

00:04:45.080 who i am so i want you guys to understand a couple things from a practical standpoint because

00:04:52.340 not only is there emotional freedom and lightness that comes with being who you truly are

00:05:00.500 all right there's practical reasons for it too the reason most of you guys are pretending to be

00:05:07.940 something online that you're really not is because you're trying to either sell something or you're

00:05:14.740 trying to be in you're trying to get attention for some reason right you want a big following you want

00:05:19.920 a blue check mark you want to be popular on the internet like who who knows you're trying to make

00:05:25.620 money you're trying to do this you're trying to do that i totally get all that and i'm not condemning

00:05:30.260 any of it all right having a strong online presence is good for you regardless of of what it is it's good

00:05:38.040 it's a good thing because it gives you options now the problem with pretending like you're normal or

00:05:44.940 like you're everybody else or like you're a part of this thing or that thing in terms of like how you

00:05:51.720 take your pictures and you know i see a lot of girls copying you know girls with 10 million followers

00:05:58.060 and doing the same faces and doing the same poses and this i get it i get it you think that's what

00:06:03.640 you're supposed to do you don't have to live like that and that's what i'm trying to say and i'm not

00:06:07.600 just saying it for girls because i see dudes do the same shit all right so i want you to understand 0.59

00:06:13.500 the reason that social media gives you anxiety the reason that social media makes you frustrated 0.96

00:06:19.860 the reason that social media is controlling your entire existence and your mental health is because

00:06:26.080 you're not being authentic you're not who you you want to be and the reason you're not who you want 1.00

00:06:30.380 to be is because you're afraid that if you are it's going to fuck up your shit but i'm here to tell you 0.99

00:06:36.360 guys it's actually the opposite okay when you pretend to be normal your ability to attract other 0.99

00:06:44.160 people gets played down okay it goes down just like on madden football and you have a guy who

00:06:50.620 is a 99 level player and and if he gets hurt he's an 87 level player all right uh you're you're hurting

00:06:59.220 your ability to grow and attract quality people by being something that you aren't and if you really

00:07:06.360 knew what you would attract by being who you really are and being fearless and how you share it and i'm

00:07:13.120 not saying you know make these long sappy posts to try to get sympathy some people get caught up in 0.99

00:07:19.120 that shit too what i'm saying is just be who the fuck you are and what will happen is you will attract 0.99

00:07:25.680 people like that it's a magnetic force when you're authentic and you're real and it doesn't matter if 1.00

00:07:32.260 you're a you know a loud boisterous person who uses the curses and stuff like me or if you're a soft

00:07:40.940 spoken person who says you know funny shit or there's room for all of us there's room for every personality 0.99

00:07:47.940 and the reason that you're having trouble growing and the reason you're having trouble getting attention 0.98

00:07:52.260 is because you're putting massive amounts of effort into being like everybody else think of it like

00:07:58.800 this when you go hunting what do you wear you wear camouflage the reason you wear camouflage is because

00:08:04.120 you don't want the animals to see you well you don't want how do you make the animals not see you you

00:08:09.460 look like everything else so think about that when it comes to your personal brand if you look like

00:08:14.720 everybody else and i'm not saying like physical looks i'm saying your your words your your posts

00:08:19.540 your your beliefs if you're like everybody else you're the camouflage all right what about you 0.97

00:08:27.600 makes you different what about you makes you unique what about you is fucking weird that you're afraid 0.95

00:08:32.260 to share with people because it's a little bit embarrassing those are the things that attract 0.93

00:08:37.060 other people those are the things that make people say dude i like that guy because he's just like me

00:08:41.560 all right this is a big this is a big deal guys this will help you in all areas because one it'll

00:08:48.560 remove a lot of anxiety and frustration from your life but two it'll actually bring you around people

00:08:53.480 that actually believe the things you believe which will create more quality relationships in your life

00:09:00.680 all right and that's a huge deal guys so you have to understand that when you pretend it's the same as

00:09:08.620 putting camouflage on all right so that's the first thing the second thing i sort of covered this

00:09:14.860 a little bit is that when you're unique and when you're who you are and and here's the thing that

00:09:20.300 you guys have to understand is your uniqueness is your superpower what it is that you think you know

00:09:27.360 everybody's gonna laugh at is probably a thing that's gonna make you stand out sometimes it is the

00:09:32.480 thing that you get made fun of about for me all right it was getting stabbed in the face and i have scars

00:09:38.360 all over my face my face was swollen to the size of a grapefruit for a year and i still have nerve damage in

00:09:44.260 my face and if you meet me in person you're gonna be able to see it real close all right now i was 0.82

00:09:50.360 made fun of about that i was talk shit about that all right it was embarrassing but what i realized is 0.79

00:09:56.980 that it made me memorable it made me unique and it attracted other people to it when i embraced it 0.80

00:10:03.880 and started telling the truth because for a long time guys the first couple years i didn't even want

00:10:09.260 to tell people the truth i told people i was in a car accident the reason i told people i was in a car

00:10:14.760 accident is because when i told people in a retail setting which we only had one store and we had two 0.89

00:10:19.280 employees me and my business partner chris when i tell people oh i got fucking stabbed you know i didn't 0.95

00:10:25.780 have all of these things now that that build credibility with people i didn't have a big company i

00:10:30.220 didn't you know i wasn't i didn't have many companies uh i wasn't seen at as a success i was 0.97

00:10:35.580 seen as a punk kid and that's what people thought when i told them i got stabbed so i fucking lied i 0.94

00:10:41.460 said i got a car accident just to make it simple all right that was a mistake because had i embraced 0.85

00:10:48.740 it and had i told the truth i would have connected with other people who have been through similar

00:10:53.340 challenges and if you ever listen to the story of how i got stabbed and me meeting the woman who had

00:10:58.060 been burned you know that her courage is what greatly impacted me to become who i am today it's

00:11:05.480 still probably the most important conversation i ever had in my entire life all right so you have

00:11:11.080 to understand that along with blending in um and being the opposite of blending in you want to figure 0.97

00:11:18.200 out how to stand out and the best way that you could stand out guys is by being a little fucking weird 0.99

00:11:22.920 all right so that shit that you're trying to hide those things that you're embarrassed of those things 1.00

00:11:29.200 that mess with your head that make you think like fuck nobody gets it no motherfucker a lot of people 1.00

00:11:34.460 get it you just think nobody gets it because you ain't fucking talking about it all right so we all have 1.00

00:11:40.320 these things we all have these challenges we all have a story and guess what our story connects with 0.96

00:11:47.980 other people's story and if you're too afraid to tell your story because you're afraid you're not 0.95

00:11:52.900 going to fit in at the seventh grade fucking lunch table that is instagram right now you're not going 0.98

00:11:57.900 to have success you're not going to have success in life you're not going to be happy you're going 0.99

00:12:01.940 to be frustrated you're going to be filled with anxiety you're going to feel like you're doing

00:12:05.240 something wrong and the reason you feel like you're doing something wrong is because you are doing

00:12:08.320 something wrong you're cheating yourself of your own unique human experience all right it's very

00:12:15.960 important now you know besides being normal and blending in and besides understanding these things

00:12:23.620 make you stand out having differences guys actually creates a competitive edge in business a competitive

00:12:31.900 edge in life all right how many people want to talk to the average joe who lives in you know the

00:12:39.720 normal neighborhood who mows his grass every saturday who hides all of his deep dark secrets

00:12:45.640 uh you know and and dude he never talks about him because you know today we're told that if you

00:12:53.840 talk about yourself in any way you're you're you're not humble and everybody thinks that humble is you

00:12:59.760 know the best thing to be and it is in certain circumstances but in in life circumstances sometimes the

00:13:07.260 humility can really smash your ability to stand out and get a competitive advantage all right and so this is

00:13:14.920 what you have to understand you have to use everybody else's fear to your benefit all right 0.53

00:13:20.720 everybody else is fucking scared everybody else feels embarrassed everybody else is afraid to tell their 0.93

00:13:27.680 story everybody else is afraid to step up all right so what does that mean that means it's a huge 0.94

00:13:34.840 opportunity for you to have a competitive advantage by doing so all right when i was i don't know i guess i was

00:13:42.960 about 30 years old i started writing motivational statuses on on facebook and uh i started to do it on

00:13:51.420 our on a supplement superstores company page and this is how i got into motivational speaking and business

00:13:58.180 consulting and all of these things all of these great amazing things that have happened to me over the

00:14:02.500 last decade have happened because of one thing really that that i did um i started writing

00:14:10.960 things that i thought were impactful and motivational and right away man i had someone that was related

00:14:17.240 to me uh that i grew up looking up to um that i cared about their opinion comment underneath one of

00:14:24.740 my posts and said andy i don't know who you think you are man but you ain't tony robbins and you ain't

00:14:30.660 ever gonna be i don't know what you're trying to be you're trying to be tony robbins it now i'm

00:14:35.180 paraphrasing it was something like that all right i think it might have been okay tony robbins like

00:14:39.960 that something like that right we all get it though because we all get those comments

00:14:43.240 you know this year back then i did when i post that i get my get two likes i might get three and 0.91

00:14:52.680 guess what one was sal one was my mom and the other one's my fucking dad all right so and and maybe i 0.93

00:15:00.420 got a couple more from guys that i actually paid their paycheck that's the truth all right and then i 0.94

00:15:05.940 have this guy who's related to me i'm not gonna say his name because i don't want to embarrass him 0.98

00:15:10.640 but i know who the fuck it was and i'll never forget it tell me that shit now i had two choices 0.98

00:15:15.780 at that time i could have went into my shell and just kept all of these thoughts and these feelings 0.99

00:15:21.160 to myself and my life would be totally different right now my life would be probably like it was then

00:15:29.520 i probably would have never broke out of that out of that mold but i chose the other and the other 0.99

00:15:36.260 was hey don't listen to this fucker and keep doing what you're doing you know what this year i was 0.98

00:15:41.920 ranked the 14th best speaker on the fucking planet now tony robbins was like number two or one or 1.00

00:15:47.920 something you know he's still better than me and i have no argument to that he's the fucking man when 0.98

00:15:52.360 it comes to that he's been doing it for 40 fucking years so he's a hell of a lot better than me 0.93

00:15:56.260 but i don't know that's not terrible you know what i'm saying so that's the point of what i'm 0.94

00:16:03.380 trying to make all right we all have these unique little things and we have these unique little

00:16:08.100 challenges and these unique little hang-ups and of course we're gonna have people not believe 0.95

00:16:13.180 nobody fucking believes in you man you need to quit trying to think that people that you you deserve 0.98

00:16:19.460 people's belief what have you done to deserve their belief okay people only believe after you've done 1.00

00:16:25.040 some shit which ironically is when you don't need their belief anymore so you have to understand 0.78

00:16:31.260 you're gonna have to step out of your comfort zone you're gonna have to be a little weird 0.98

00:16:35.240 and you're gonna have to understand that ultimately in the long run this is what's going to create the

00:16:39.760 life that you're looking for all right and i just wanted to bring this message to you guys i know

00:16:44.780 it's not my normal message but i wanted to bring it to you guys because i feel like with all the 0.92

00:16:52.020 chaos going on in the world and with all the division going on in the world and all the fucking 0.92

00:16:57.440 hate going on in the world from all different angles people are afraid man people are scared to do 0.95

00:17:03.840 anything they're scared to say anything they're scared to be anything and i think they're more

00:17:07.980 afraid than ever to take a stand or be and i'm not taking i'm not saying a political stand i'm saying

00:17:12.720 just having an opinion of anything but i can tell you guys if you never have the courage

00:17:18.020 courage to be who it is that that that person that you are when you're alone that person you are on

00:17:24.580 the inside you know that person that you are on the inside that you know you are but nobody else

00:17:30.420 knows you are you know what i'm talking about i know you guys know what i'm talking about it's that

00:17:35.720 it's that thing that you do like when you're in the shower alone you're kind of thinking about 0.99

00:17:39.920 like who the fuck you really are i don't know maybe maybe i'm fucking weird and i'm the only one 0.97

00:17:44.160 that does this but like when i'm in the shower you know even when i was a kid i can remember this dude 0.99

00:17:49.040 i can remember like thinking i was going to be a rap star right and i remember in the shower like

00:17:54.680 thinking like i would be thinking like yeah dude one day everybody's going to be in in a in a auditorium 0.90

00:18:01.760 or a stadium and they're going to be cheering my name and shit and i'm gonna be fucking hot and i'm 0.99

00:18:05.600 gonna be kicking ass and uh you know that never happened for me as a rap star but it did fucking 0.99

00:18:11.980 happen to me as a speaker all right so these dreams that you have on the inside that you're 0.99

00:18:17.840 too afraid to put out because you think they're weird or you think people are gonna make fun of

00:18:22.120 you or you think you're not going to be in the cool kids club those dreams are coming to you for a

00:18:27.640 reason they're showing up in your brain for a reason and you and your fear of what people are

00:18:34.680 going to think what people are going to say and that you think you're the only one like that is

00:18:38.980 what's keeping you from becoming that little picture that somehow forms in your brain all right

00:18:45.540 so i want i feel like this message needs to be heard right now and that's why i wanted to record 0.98

00:18:51.360 it for you guys so listen i'm the weirdest motherfucker there is i'll just say that so 0.98

00:18:57.260 i'll take the title the weirdest motherfucker and then you can feel comfortable being you because 0.99

00:19:03.900 you're not as fucking weird all right there's nothing to be afraid of you yes you're gonna have 0.99

00:19:09.340 some comments from some strangers that you never met in your life yes you're gonna have family members 0.93

00:19:15.220 that make fun of you and tease you but i'm gonna tell you what they're not gonna be teasing you when 0.98

00:19:19.080 you're paying their motherfucking paychecks okay be who you are be who you know you are be who you 0.95

00:19:26.840 know you're supposed to be and commit to being that every single day guys this is what most of you 0.99

00:19:33.400 guys are doing wrong on social media it's what most of you guys do wrong in life and it's what

00:19:38.240 we can all be better at doing right we can all be better about this we can all be better about being

00:19:45.760 better versions of who we are let me tell you the best benefit of this the best benefit of this

00:19:53.240 is that if you have kids or you have people that follow you let's say you're the owner of a company

00:19:58.920 like me or maybe you're a manager or maybe you're a coach whoever it is that you're leading because

00:20:04.520 all of you are leading somebody all of you whether you think so or not there's somebody that's paying

00:20:10.140 attention to what it is you're doing you're you're you're obligated to lead those people when you

00:20:16.100 start doing you you're going to inspire other people to do the same and a lot of good comes from

00:20:24.180 that and by the way when you first start doing you you're not going to be great at doing you

00:20:29.100 it takes practice it takes consistency it takes years it takes courage all right but wouldn't you

00:20:38.660 want your life to be the example of that for other people for the people that look up to you don't you 1.00

00:20:44.620 want people who look up to you to love you for the fact that you are who the fuck you are 0.99

00:20:49.280 and that you stand for what you stand for i think that's what we all want all right so stop getting 0.99

00:20:55.580 in your own way we're all fucking weird but i'm the weirdest 0.98

00:20:59.020 told my teacher dumb bitch i'm gonna get millions watch this in the project living down spoke it till 1.00

00:21:04.740 existed while i'm from where you can't trust so welcome 0.99

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - September 16, 2020

69. Are You Weird？

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