REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 803. Q&AF： Dealing With A Bad Manager, Delegating Tasks & Being Honest With Your Child Athlete

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy for selling this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies

00:00:21.040 the thickness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today

00:00:25.760 we have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers now if

00:00:32.220 you're unfamiliar with the show uh q and af is about anything it's about personal development

00:00:37.720 business life entrepreneurship how to kick ass uh you can ask about what's going on in the world too

00:00:43.080 but typically it's about how to get better we'd like to start the week off with that now if you

00:00:47.280 want your questions answered on the show uh you could do so a couple different ways the first way

00:00:51.820 is guys you can email these questions in to ask andy at andy for selling.com or you go on youtube

00:00:57.400 in the comment section you could drop your question in the comments we'll choose some from there as

00:01:01.240 well now tomorrow we're going to have cruise the internet that's a current event show okay

00:01:06.240 uh we call it cti we put topics up on the screen we speculate on what's true what's not true

00:01:12.020 and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world

00:01:15.780 all right uh other times we're going to have real talk real talk is just five to twenty minutes of me

00:01:20.840 giving you some real talk and then we have 75 hard verses that's where people who uh have completed

00:01:26.700 the 75 hard program come on the show they talk about how they were before how they are now and

00:01:31.720 how they use the 75 hard program to reclaim their life if you're unfamiliar with the 75 hard program

00:01:37.980 it is the initial phase of the live hard program which is the world's most popular mental transformation

00:01:45.620 program in history and it's free you can get it for free the entire thing at episode

00:01:50.360 208 on the audio feed only uh there's also a book available called the book on mental toughness

00:01:56.600 you can get it andy for cella.com it is a lot more in depth uh it includes the entire live hard program

00:02:02.820 plus a whole bunch of other stuff a bunch of chapters about mental toughness why it's important

00:02:06.740 how to use it uh some case studies on some famous people who have used mental toughness to become the

00:02:12.060 famous people that uh you recognize all right so you can get that at andy for cella.com uh now

00:02:17.920 you're probably wondering why it is we do personal development and what's going on in the world and

00:02:23.560 it's because this we have to be aware what's going on and then we have to know the techniques

00:02:28.420 on how to get better and become the change in society so we do both of those things here

00:02:32.980 we talk about what's going on in the world we talk about what we need to do there and then we talk

00:02:38.160 about through q a f and personal development how we need to individually get better because the truth

00:02:42.820 of the matter is nothing changes unless we change we are society all right personal excellence on an

00:02:49.060 individual level is the ultimate rebellion that all of you are looking for all right so uh that's why

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00:03:00.500 okay uh i don't answer anybody i don't have anybody telling me what i can and can't say

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00:03:28.520 a hoe show the show all right what's up dude what's going on man oh not much i think sweater

00:03:33.260 weather is full in fact getting fall we should get some onesies yeah would you wear one

00:03:41.040 i'd wear mine backwards with the feet or without the feet oh well i mean if you got those like

00:03:47.040 slippers like you got i think you could know i think if you're gonna wear a onesie it has to be

00:03:50.680 the one with the feet in it yeah otherwise it's not a onesie what is it it's a twosie because you

00:03:55.260 gotta wear it's a threesie because you gotta wear socks that's three pieces a onesie is one piece

00:04:01.420 a true onesie has fucking do you have one i feel like you're i'm just saying when i was a kid i had

00:04:09.060 them i liked them i thought they were sweet yeah all right i just we gotta i'm sure there's dudes

00:04:14.340 out there that wear them as grown adults you know i have i do have long john that's like a full

00:04:19.380 but no feet yeah i use that for riding in the cold yeah riding what bikes oh what kind of bike like a

00:04:27.580 puffy it's the ones i stole mongoose

00:04:31.060 no man yeah there's nothing wrong with them people like them that's fine but yeah sweater

00:04:38.040 weather yeah it is i love it yeah it's not bad it's a little chilly it's not bad but you know it's

00:04:46.060 missouri it is missouri all right so what we got man listen i got some good ones for you all right

00:04:52.240 got three specific ones that are good for you and you guys listening so uh let's make people better

00:04:58.940 sounds good guys andy question number one uh andy i started with a new company two years ago to date

00:05:06.580 i quickly became top sales uh as the youngest guy on the team uh before i started the team was between

00:05:14.000 35 and 50 year olds uh me at 25 came in uh started walking circles around them i think they all

00:05:22.060 got upset at the new young guy and all eventually moved on two years in i'm senior sales uh and i'm

00:05:29.100 wanting to put myself in a position to be a sales manager the current manager can't follow through

00:05:34.480 doesn't really manage the team bowed uh bad mouths uh after all of our meetings and it's just a bad

00:05:40.720 manager the owner is pretty hands off uh in my territory so doesn't see the issues firsthand

00:05:48.260 my question for you is what what's the best most ethical way to go about this prior to this i had

00:05:55.660 seven years of retail management so running a sales team isn't anything new to me i know the value i

00:06:01.380 could provide would amount to a successful team all around rather than just the star players you're an

00:06:07.360 owner i'm sure you've had employees come to you on this thanks for your advice why was there a question

00:06:13.000 there the fucking question i guess what's uh what's the most ethical way to go about this how do you

00:06:19.580 what's this what a manager that's in a bad position but the owner owner that's hands off how do you how

00:06:26.420 do you battle that well i mean look dude uh you don't have to have permission to lead anything that's

00:06:32.840 the biggest thing that people don't understand you don't have to have a title or a permission or

00:06:38.880 acknowledgement to lead all right leading is something that leaders do on their own regardless

00:06:45.220 of what title they have in fact some of the most effective leaders in the world are what you would

00:06:50.520 call peer leaders meaning they don't have the title of leadership but they take over the lead of the team

00:06:56.360 and you know what happens whenever that person who is a peer leader becomes the leader of their team

00:07:02.040 now they have leverage now they can go to their manager and say hey all my guys are with me bro we're

00:07:07.360 doing this we're doing this we're doing this you're not doing your part we need this we need this we need

00:07:12.540 this to do our jobs and you're not providing that so what do we need to do to get that okay and that's

00:07:17.900 one way you can go about it another way you can go about it is become undeniably great at selling

00:07:25.400 whatever it is you're selling with your team and then when you're kicking ass and everybody else is

00:07:31.080 looking like shit which you seem very confident that you can do uh which i question your confidence to be

00:07:36.600 completely honest anybody who's 25 years old that sounds that confident uh usually has an ego issue

00:07:43.820 just being honest um so i if you are who you say you are and you can do what you say you can do

00:07:50.480 here's what i'd recommend i'd recommend putting up numbers that that company's never fucking seen

00:07:55.300 before ever in the history of their company not even close and then i'd recommend going to the owner

00:08:01.040 himself and saying hey you see what i'm doing here i could do this for your entire company if you let

00:08:06.580 me how about that that's an ethical way what do you mean ethical you mean like going around the

00:08:12.780 manager if that guy's fucking not doing his job who's he holding back oh he's holding back you

00:08:17.720 he's holding back all your teammates all the people you're working with so really the ethical thing

00:08:23.920 is to go to bat for those guys do what i'm saying and then get this motherfucker out of the way

00:08:29.320 straight up with your performance or get him to start rowing the boat so there's a lot of ways you

00:08:34.840 can go about this uh but the number one thing that has to happen for you to go about this is you have

00:08:40.680 to win and put up numbers that no one can fucking deny which everybody talks about all the time

00:08:48.220 all the numbers they can put up and all the shit they can sell and how great they were at their

00:08:54.460 last job and how awesome they're going to be at this job if we just give them this and this and

00:09:00.300 this and this well if you're that good why the fuck are you not doing it okay so let's be real

00:09:06.600 the owners met 50 fucking 25 year old kids that have come to him and said i could do this and this

00:09:13.240 and this and this and this and i'm going to tell you what the minute you walk out the door he says

00:09:17.540 yeah that i've heard that before but the response would be different if you went out and you put the

00:09:23.240 fucking numbers up and then went to him okay and this is what people do if you're an entrepreneur

00:09:28.560 i'm going to give you the most valuable fucking advice you'll ever get about providing for yourself

00:09:33.500 and income it's not hey if if you pay me more i'll do this that's not how the fuck it works

00:09:39.380 okay it's i'm doing this i'm kicking ass i'm dominating i'm putting up numbers that you've never

00:09:46.600 fucking seen before i'm worth this that's the way it works a lot of you motherfuckers try to get paid

00:09:53.100 off of what you're gonna do when in reality you only get paid off what you're already doing or what

00:09:57.720 you've done all right so and that's entitlement that comes from an entitled culture of the younger

00:10:03.560 generation who believes that they're worth way more than they are they say oh pay me what i'm worth

00:10:09.140 well you're not selling anything you're not doing anything well if you paid me i'd go do it that's not

00:10:14.140 how the fuck it works that's not how it works nobody pays a fucking uh you know a fucking

00:10:20.080 baseball player uh you know a hundred million fucking dollars for what they're gonna do they

00:10:25.200 get the hundred million dollar contract after they've proven themselves okay and they may have

00:10:29.800 proven themselves in the minor leagues they may have proven themselves uh in college they may have

00:10:34.720 proven themselves for that first two-year contract where they made league minimum and now they're getting

00:10:38.840 a hundred two hundred million dollar deal okay but there's a prove yourself phase that has to be

00:10:44.520 recognized that a lot of you young motherfuckers don't get okay if you're not putting up numbers

00:10:50.200 and you're not putting up records and you're not setting the standard you don't have a standing to go in

00:10:56.080 and ask for anything so don't get it twisted don't listen to your fucking loser friends and your uncle who

00:11:02.480 never did anything and all this shit when they bad mouth their places well if they paid me i'd do this

00:11:08.020 more well that's why you're not getting paid because you're a fucking idiot you don't understand

00:11:11.140 how it works works like this put up or shut the fuck up that's it you're either putting it up you're

00:11:17.220 setting records you're kicking ass and you're gonna get paid more or you're coasting you're bitching

00:11:22.000 you're whining and you're gonna be fucking you know working at fucking taco bell when you're 50 years

00:11:26.800 old yeah man i want to i want to there's there's two things i really i want to dive in on this you

00:11:31.660 know that first part where you're you know people expect you know they'll get the title first

00:11:37.480 and then they become this leader you got to lead before you get the title can we that's right dive

00:11:42.980 into this a little bit more well i mean dude a lot of people believe that they believe that

00:11:47.520 you know someone has to come along and anoint them the leader that's not how it works and then they

00:11:52.920 start leading yes that's not how it works you lead and then you get the title of leader okay you go

00:11:58.640 first you help your team you show your team how to win you earn their respect you perform personally

00:12:05.300 and you get them all to follow you down that path of performance now we can talk about something

00:12:11.360 now now you know what i'll say you're a leader and i'm going to give you some sort of title to recognize

00:12:16.040 that but waiting around for the title to be uh adorned you know onto your fucking

00:12:23.140 quilted business card or the fuck you think business is about uh is not a way to become successful

00:12:31.500 bro a lot of people just have it backwards and you don't have to wait for that title to start

00:12:35.500 leading you shouldn't you should start trying to become a leader right now you know and a lot of

00:12:39.660 people don't like that because like they feel like they're the kid in class with the fucking apple up

00:12:44.000 at the front well you know what that kid in class with his apple up at the front that gets all the

00:12:47.980 good grades and motherfucker makes all the money okay so do you want to get paid or do you want to

00:12:52.140 feel a little bit weird about standing up to all your friends and being like hey bitches we got to

00:12:55.900 fucking go and win i'd rather do that and get paid i don't really care if they don't like it i don't

00:13:01.400 care if they think i'm a suck ass i don't care sucking ass and saying this all this you kissing

00:13:06.100 ass brown nose that's loser ass shit we're trying to fucking win okay that's what we're here for

00:13:11.500 and winning for us looks like doing our job at the highest possible level proving that we can do it

00:13:16.560 and then the money comes later it's no different when you're an entrepreneur you provide the product

00:13:21.080 you provide the service you do it in an excellent way over the top and then people give you their

00:13:26.920 money that's what the fuck it works it doesn't ever work as uh you know you get the money first

00:13:31.380 hey i got an idea come spend money with my company and uh if you spend enough money i'll give you a good

00:13:37.400 experience right no that's what employees fucking say that's what they think yes yeah it makes no sense

00:13:43.960 no okay hey uh hey steve um if you pay me three times as much i'll do three times as much well

00:13:51.560 there's no proof that you can do three times as much you're not even good at the shit you do yet

00:13:55.940 you see what i'm saying yeah like it's just backwards logic bro it is it is i also want to

00:14:01.120 touch on this piece too because you you kind of you mentioned it but let's dive into it because i feel

00:14:05.780 like this this can relate listen here's what you should do if you're an entrepreneur you should

00:14:10.180 become the best you fucking can you should put up undeniable results you should monitor everything

00:14:15.380 that you do and keep track of every win that you have so that you can go in and make a case for

00:14:19.560 yourself to move up in the company because no one's going to come to you and say you know hey man i think

00:14:25.560 you should be president of the company you're going to have to inch your way and inch your way and inch

00:14:30.020 your way up by showing what the fuck you've done okay and i know everybody thinks they do a lot

00:14:35.840 but if you start tracking on paper you'll find out exactly what the fuck you do and exactly how

00:14:40.780 many wins you have and a lot of people overestimate their wins which makes them overestimate their

00:14:45.220 value and when they don't get recognized with the value in return they get bitter they get angry and

00:14:49.360 they end up giving up on the ability to go out and create something for themselves when the whole

00:14:53.800 reason they're in the position they're in is because they're overestimating their value based upon

00:14:58.200 you know what they think and they don't have the perspective to think anything right you see what i'm

00:15:03.500 saying right so i got 10 on paper man well joe got fucking 50 so like who are you comparing it to

00:15:09.940 listen if people simply took their wins and tracked them down and made a list of them they'd find out

00:15:16.240 much more quickly what they're actually worth because most people don't do shit most people

00:15:21.440 spend most of their day trying to fucking play business or pretend to be busy or pretend to be

00:15:28.840 working or sort of slithering into the corner so nobody notices them and then they get pissed when

00:15:33.900 they get passed over and and the career opportunities go to other people okay it is what it is winners

00:15:39.740 win losers fucking lose winners are going to come in they're going to get everybody to win with them

00:15:44.200 losers are going to come in they're going to pull everybody back you want to be on the winning

00:15:48.000 side because the winning side is the guy who wins in life and the losers don't get shit and that's it

00:15:51.860 that's a reality that these fucking kids have lost they don't understand and all another thing

00:15:56.960 they don't understand is how fucking hard it actually is a lot of people think oh i'm just

00:16:01.580 going to show you know what they say i show up on time i i've i've never been late well no shit you're

00:16:09.700 not supposed to be i do my job you're supposed to do your job it's not those aren't the people that

00:16:16.140 progress it takes way more than that it takes you producing undeniable real results and then making

00:16:23.840 a case for yourself saying hey look what i've done and and by the way when you do that you'll

00:16:29.840 be confident in your own skills because you can actually see them one through 20 right here okay

00:16:34.340 and if they don't want to fucking help you and they don't want to progress you and they don't want you

00:16:37.700 to do better in their company guess what you can do you can go somewhere that will yeah i want i want

00:16:43.720 to touch on this because i feel like a lot of people like especially the young guys can relate to

00:16:47.840 this situation um but i want to spend some time on talking about what not to do in this situation

00:16:54.580 right you you're a builder of culture you understand culture more than anybody i feel like this person

00:17:00.240 i'm not saying you know he's gonna go do this but i feel like it's an easy thing to feel you know all

00:17:05.060 right well i'll just start shit talking this manager i'm gonna do my best to make him look bad

00:17:08.420 and talk shit that's stupid like let's talk about those people never win those people never win just

00:17:13.340 so you know if you're the type of person that thinks you're gonna get ahead by pulling other

00:17:17.340 people down it will never ever ever work it never works it never works we talked about this with em

00:17:22.960 my let when he was on my show like two three years ago there's a ladder to success and the people

00:17:28.640 above you have been through more shit than you and they can very easily recognize that you're full of

00:17:33.020 shit okay you're not gonna fool you might fool some people on the bottom rungs you might get a

00:17:37.300 little bit higher and fool some more people but eventually someone's gonna see what the fuck

00:17:41.020 you're about and when they see that you're about tearing everybody around you down to get ahead

00:17:46.560 they're not gonna allow you on their team because they understand what that's gonna create it's gonna

00:17:50.460 create a massive cancer that they're gonna have to clean up later so all you fuckers that think you're

00:17:55.240 real smart you're smarter than your boss and you're they've seen you a thousand times they've

00:18:00.640 fucking seen you you're not the first motherfucker to think that they've seen you you see what i'm

00:18:06.900 saying i have this great idea let me shit talk my manager this has never been done before dude

00:18:10.620 they've seen you there's been a hundred of you before and that comes from their ego thinking that

00:18:16.020 they're the smartest motherfucker on the planet you know they think oh well you know they've never

00:18:20.900 seen anybody like me because i'm so good at my job and i'm and then they end up thinking they're

00:18:24.460 you think you're smarter than your fucking boss who's been doing whatever the fuck he's been doing

00:18:28.280 for 25 30 years you're an idiot he's seen you he's seen a hundred like you you're not gonna fool

00:18:35.900 him the only way to get up the ladder is by doing it the right way it's by being great at what you do

00:18:40.700 getting the other people around you to be great at what they do and then you will be rewarded i'll

00:18:46.280 fucking love it man i love it uh guys andy question number two uh hey andy thanks for taking this

00:18:53.180 question i own a landscaping business and i'm about to finish up my second year um it's two full-time

00:19:01.440 guys including myself uh and then we have occasional part-time guys that help our motto

00:19:06.840 has always been uh stay small long enough and we will be big enough soon enough i do believe it's

00:19:14.920 best to keep the cash uh high and overhead low i also find myself struggling as i work in the field

00:19:21.960 all the time it's hard to be able to work on the business side of things and grow is it normal

00:19:27.840 to get completely fed up with the day-to-day tasks because you get to a point where you almost feel

00:19:33.160 like you're above it i keep getting this inner voice in my head telling me that i'm above the

00:19:39.000 bitch work uh because i'm the one that's obtaining all the business in the first place maybe i'm just

00:19:44.440 expecting more out of the other guys since they don't do any sales how can i combat this prideful ego

00:19:50.780 uh or is it time to take the step and delegate tasks to other guys while i'll solely focus on

00:19:58.000 sales and growing do you know why your guys don't want to work for you you know why they don't want

00:20:02.280 to work because you think what they do is bitch work oh boy oh buddy you just fucking said it in

00:20:07.380 your question oh buddy you think people are going to come and fucking work for you if you think what

00:20:11.160 they do is not important in this bitch work and whatever you do is more important you ever been

00:20:15.520 around someone like that did you like them did you want to work for them did you want to run

00:20:20.180 through a fucking brick wall for them or have you ever worked for someone that'll get on the fucking

00:20:24.280 line with you and pack some motherfucking boxes or sweep the floor or help you be fucking great at

00:20:28.840 what you do now did you want to work for that guy do you want to run through a wall for that guy

00:20:32.740 okay you're not the guy yet you haven't figured it out okay so this isn't about delegating this is about

00:20:39.220 an attitude adjustment that you need to make as a fucking leader and that's this without them you ain't

00:20:44.520 shit so you might as well help them feel real good about what they do and help them be great at it so

00:20:49.220 they can progress and when they progress that will help you progress it's very fucking simple okay the

00:20:55.280 fact that you even wrote i'm above the bitch work shows me that your ego is so fucking out of control

00:21:00.980 that you don't even understand your own fucking business all right i'm i'm at mcdonald's making the

00:21:06.500 fries is bitch work well what if the fries are bad what if the fries are soggy what if the fries

00:21:11.820 fucking get over fried what if they're what if they got oil all over them what if they're not

00:21:16.380 salted what how's that going to affect your business is that bitch work now see what i'm

00:21:21.780 saying oh man so this is an attitude adjustment from someone who's clearly not ready to fucking lead

00:21:27.340 that needs to make a fucking adjustment and say hey i am not going to ask my people to do anything

00:21:32.600 that i cannot do at a very fucking high level and every chance i get i'm going to help them do that

00:21:37.660 motherfucker i take the trash out here real talk there every single day i go to one of our

00:21:43.180 fucking trash bins and i fucking empty it you know why because i want to remind myself what the fuck it

00:21:48.920 actually takes to remind to run this place my job as the fucking founder okay is not to think of myself

00:21:56.040 as better than everyone my job is to fucking make everybody else better that's the job and if i went

00:22:03.100 around and said what they do is bitch work do you think they'd want to get better at what they do

00:22:06.780 how do you think a grown man feels when you think what he does for a living when you're paying him

00:22:10.860 to do it that you think that's bitch work how do you think he feels you think he feels confident

00:22:15.020 when he goes home you think he feels better about himself you think he feels excited to come to work

00:22:19.660 knowing that his owner thinks that what he does is bitch work you think he wants to get better at it

00:22:23.940 you need an attitude adjustment bro you need to get the fuck out of business that's my fucking answer

00:22:28.840 oh yeah let me ask you this because i mean like even just to that point though right like

00:22:35.140 you know when you started on the retail side i mean how long were you in the stores for

00:22:39.100 six years and then and then four more after that that's i mean so 10 fucking years yeah and you know

00:22:44.880 what's funny it's what i missed the most i fucking loved it i loved doing what we did in the stores

00:22:50.060 i loved helping people i love being and everybody's in a hurry to get away from their wherever they are

00:22:55.360 and they don't understand how great they fucking have it yeah be sitting making big decisions

00:23:00.800 that are that that require you to consider the well-being of hundreds of other people and their

00:23:09.620 families is an immense amount of pressure that no one could possibly comprehend and the only person

00:23:15.980 that can do it without feeling that is a fucking sociopath that gives zero fucks about those people

00:23:21.120 and you know what if you're that way those people will always know it and they won't come for you so

00:23:26.020 the only way they won't go to war for you the only way that you could actually build an amazing

00:23:31.480 culture is by truly being about it you have to everybody fucking hears what i say about this and

00:23:38.560 then they think they can like skirt the corner or like make it diluted no why do you think i'm here

00:23:45.020 seven days a fucking week because i give a fuck i give a fuck about what we're doing i give a fuck about

00:23:50.920 our people i give a fuck about our customers and i care about at the level at which things are done

00:23:56.020 here and so does all the other leadership dude you listen here's the reality this is just the truth

00:24:02.120 okay most people that are in business that think they're entrepreneurs shouldn't even be in business

00:24:07.140 because entrepreneurship has become so glorified and so fucking celebrated and it's been made into this

00:24:14.700 thing that it isn't it's been made into this easy job right i'm going to be an entrepreneur so i don't

00:24:19.740 have to answer to anybody i want to be an entrepreneur so i can have freedom okay you answer to your

00:24:25.400 customers you answer to your employees when you become the entrepreneur you you answer to way more

00:24:30.880 people than when you're an employee all right so uh the truth of the matter is you know if you got

00:24:38.100 the attitude that people around you are doing bitch work there's no secret why your business is fucked up

00:24:43.140 bro yeah man i love it grow the fuck up realize this there's ethical entrepreneurship and there's

00:24:50.860 unethical entrepreneurship ethical entrepreneurship is knowing that every single person that is around

00:24:56.960 you deserves your best as a fucking founder owner ceo leader okay because if you don't come in and do

00:25:04.420 your fucking best it hurts them and hurts their fucking families that's ethical entrepreneurship

00:25:09.040 unethical entrepreneurship which always fails is people who come in and they say i'm not gonna do

00:25:15.680 the bitch work yeah i love it i'll tell you what dude i fucking hate that that pisses me off i mean i

00:25:23.340 think i mean you don't fucking get it bro yeah hey but that's the thing i mean the the lack of

00:25:27.860 perspective is the thing though man you know it's a hell of a power it's a hell of a power man you know

00:25:35.080 how bad that hurts people to fucking that they look man you got to build people you go to my

00:25:41.580 instagram profile it says very simply builder of people and companies okay it says people first for

00:25:48.120 a reason you got to build people you think people want to come to work for you because they know that

00:25:54.060 you think what they do is bullshit bro that's fucking bullshit wild man it's wild i hope i listen i hope

00:26:03.160 he hope he takes it and fucking makes that adjustment well he either will or he won't if

00:26:06.740 he doesn't he'll fucking lose yeah man i love it uh guys andy question number three all right a little

00:26:13.900 bit uh a little bit more more personal development on this for a young gun okay uh good morning i really

00:26:20.500 need your guidance my son goes to a st louis area high school he's a junior and he's been playing

00:26:27.420 football for eight years uh his freshman year he played on the junior varsity team his sophomore year

00:26:32.540 he played on the junior varsity uh and varsity teams and was told he couldn't start varsity because

00:26:37.260 he was a sophomore and the upperclassmen started which is fair um this year he hasn't played at all

00:26:43.200 uh and they have been putting a sophomore in his place at center i found out through a little sleuthing

00:26:49.520 that the sophomore's father went to the same school knows the coaches has a lot of money uh let me give

00:26:55.380 you a little bit more background on my son so you don't think the other kid is just better

00:26:58.460 um and i'm just a big whiner my son is 16 he did 75 hard uh the 75 hard program over the summer

00:27:05.240 he went to all the summer practices camps worked out at the school with the team went to work at

00:27:10.420 home depot uh and after work he ran up to edge fitness and worked out uh and then ran home he also

00:27:16.420 went to some college camps in hopes of scholarships started his own twitter account for scouts he's lost

00:27:21.540 50 pounds reading books whatever had to happen he did it um at the beginning of the school year he

00:27:27.340 planned on being a team leader now he doesn't care and wants to quit all of his sports uh including

00:27:33.720 football wrestling and throwing my son's father's alive but absent um i was taught to never question

00:27:38.880 coaches and i don't know what to do please help thanks uh thank you for your time a loyal listener

00:27:43.780 i feel like there's a hell of a uh opportunity here well what do you think i mean this is a make or

00:27:51.400 break opportunity for that kid depending on how what he decides to do well i mean if he quits

00:27:56.560 here he's gonna quit everything hard in life okay so that's the first thing you gotta understand

00:28:01.120 and you should probably communicate to that that to him and if not let him listen to this uh if you

00:28:06.220 quit now you're gonna fucking be a loser your entire life that's it we don't get what we always want

00:28:11.940 and to get what we always want we have to be so much better that it's unquestionable and i can tell

00:28:18.440 you for a fact not knowing the circumstances that is not the case because if you were unquestionably

00:28:24.980 that much better than that sophomore in front of you i mean dominant you would be playing okay so

00:28:31.280 let's this is called real af this isn't called feel good af you're not good enough okay because

00:28:37.740 you got to be so good that you got to be able to outpace the people with the relationships and the

00:28:42.920 connections and the politics and the money because you know what when you go out in the real world you're

00:28:48.920 going to face that same shit you think that doesn't exist in the real world you think it doesn't

00:28:53.440 exist that people have connections or have you know some sort of backdoor deal or that's all real

00:28:59.560 shit bro and you're getting your first taste of it here as a young man which is actually a blessing

00:29:05.200 in disguise so my advice would would be this if you quit you're going to quit everything hard in your

00:29:12.020 life and that's a big fucking problem for you because i can promise you and this is coming from

00:29:16.480 someone who played sports at a high level uh it gets a lot harder a lot harder all right so take

00:29:23.900 that for what it's worth if you were my son i wouldn't let you quit okay my dad i tried to quit

00:29:29.360 when i was fucking in high school because i didn't like the shit that my coach did yeah you know what

00:29:32.960 my dad said you ain't fucking quitting that's it yeah go to the practices so um you know and i was

00:29:39.820 lucky enough to have a dad that pushed me like that and you know my dad would probably nowadays if if

00:29:44.520 his parenting was broadcast all over the internet he'd probably be in jail but the truth of the

00:29:50.580 matter is i'm very thankful for it and i think there's a lot of bad parenting strategies out

00:29:54.860 there because of the feel good do-gooders you know and the participation trophy culture which

00:29:59.640 doesn't sound like that's the case here but we have a lot of parents that just don't push their kids

00:30:04.400 at anything and then they act surprised when they don't do well in life to do well in life you have

00:30:09.800 to be good and you're learning a lesson here you can't be as good you have to be better and you have

00:30:16.780 to be so much better that it doesn't matter if that fucking kid's dad was building a whole entire new

00:30:21.380 school out of his own pocket you got to be better than that kid and play where everybody in the crowd

00:30:27.520 knows that if he plays that kid it's only because of that and you're not that good because if they did

00:30:32.520 they would play you all right get back to fucking work bro you know it sounds like you got a really

00:30:38.180 good uh momentum it sounds like you're doing 75 hard you lost 50 pounds you made a lot of progress

00:30:43.820 dude i know you're frustrated because of this going on and that's that's aggravating i don't get

00:30:49.700 everything i want in fact right before this fucking podcast i had to tell these guys that i wasn't

00:30:55.000 getting something that we plan on getting did i not yep okay so i'm a fucking uh grown man that

00:31:00.520 shit still happens and i have all the connections okay it's going to happen to you too so how are you

00:31:05.500 going to respond are you going to respond by saying oh poor little me he gets the advantage

00:31:10.440 because his dad's big shot and you'll be saying that same shit at your job in fucking 10 years

00:31:15.860 you'll be saying oh he got the promotion because uh you know he sucked the owner's wee wee you know

00:31:22.180 what i'm saying like you'll make up some bullshit and dude that's what and then your life your life

00:31:26.320 you'll be 50 years old and you'll be a loser and that'll be that and i don't think that's what you

00:31:30.420 want bro you're 15 16 years old you're putting in all this work don't fucking quit get better those

00:31:36.940 are the two things that you need to do and if you don't get better than that kid because dude

00:31:40.640 sometimes you can't be better than people some like if i was playing basketball against fucking

00:31:46.600 lebron james it doesn't matter how much work i do or how much i put into it because he's still

00:31:53.820 going to be better yeah so we got to be and this is a good lesson for people we got to be real about

00:32:00.460 our strengths and weaknesses so that we can produce the result that we're looking after and yes there's

00:32:06.360 a lot of truth to you can do anything you want but there's also limits to that too okay in the real

00:32:13.080 world yes man and but they're not as bad as you think they're limits based upon like physical ability

00:32:19.140 right like in sports like bro if you run a fucking 5 240 you probably ain't playing fucking college

00:32:25.440 football you know unless you're 400 fucking pounds you know i'm saying uh if you can't dunk a

00:32:31.460 basketball you know you probably ain't playing in the nba right you know um there's limits and uh the

00:32:39.340 good thing is is that in the business world and in the life world there's far less limits than in the

00:32:43.980 sports world so you're dealing with a very harsh reality possibly now it could be possible too that

00:32:51.020 you're just a young man and you haven't developed enough and you're just kind of getting your

00:32:54.240 athletics going on because you're making all this progress and you could come back next year and be

00:32:58.620 fucking dominant i promise you this if that kid knows he's going to start over you next year and

00:33:03.460 you're fucking hungry he ain't going to work as hard as you're willing to work he's chilling yeah so what

00:33:07.220 if you come in next year the season's over already what if you come in next year and you

00:33:11.800 fucking crush that would be my advice okay and and dude you're wanting to play college ball you're

00:33:18.560 wanting to go past that that's not too late your dreams are not crushed you're frustrated and if we

00:33:23.420 give up when we're frustrated bro we can't win okay a lot of winning has to do with us not quitting

00:33:31.280 when everybody else quits that's really it it's a game of longevity it's a game of dedication and

00:33:36.600 commitment and perseverance and grit and fortitude which dude you've already realized doing 75

00:33:41.640 hard okay so stop feeling sorry for yourself get your fucking ass in the weight room get yourself

00:33:48.640 eating the right food take it real fucking serious and come out next fall and smash fucking skulls bro

00:33:54.580 that's what you should do okay and and take this as a real life lesson brother okay you it's not

00:34:02.080 always going to be fair it's not fucking fair it's it's hardly ever fair but you know how you overcome

00:34:08.140 unfairness by being so much better that nobody can question it that's how you overcome it and and for

00:34:14.480 all of us for most of us who come from the real world we have to be that good to succeed bro because

00:34:20.820 it just ain't fair people with connections people with money people with politics people those people

00:34:26.260 are going to get the opportunities before people like us that come from regular world okay so how do we

00:34:32.020 overcome that we overcome that by being fucking great so you got to go be great and you got to put in

00:34:36.660 more work than i know you think you did a lot but you got to put in more than that and this goes back

00:34:40.080 to the question i said just before this what people think it takes and what it actually takes is

00:34:44.200 completely two different things and while you've made good progress man we got more to go so let's get

00:34:50.380 to what fucking work stop feeling sorry for ourselves i fucking love it man i love it guys

00:34:54.860 andy that's a monday man yeah all right guys look let's go out let's kick some ass we'll see you guys

00:35:00.920 tomorrow

00:35:01.260 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions

00:35:08.420 in the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bank road can't fold just a no head shot case

00:35:15.500 close

00:35:15.920 you

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - October 28, 2024

803. Q&AF： Dealing With A Bad Manager, Delegating Tasks & Being Honest With Your Child Athlete

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