REAL AF with Andy Frisella - 832. Q&AF： Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures

00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy priscilla and this is the show for the real let's say goodbye to the

00:00:20.660 lies the thickness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality

00:00:24.880 guys today we have q and af that's where you submit the questions and we give you the answers

00:00:31.220 you could submit your questions a couple different ways the first way is guys email these questions

00:00:36.920 into ask andy at andy for seller.com or you go on youtube drop your question in the comment section

00:00:43.020 on the q and af episodes we'll choose some from there as well now throughout the week we've got

00:00:46.840 shows within the show we're gonna have cti tomorrow that stands for cruise the internet that's we put

00:00:52.060 topics on the screen we speculate on what's going on we talk about what's true and what's not true

00:00:58.280 and then we talk about how we the people have to solve these problems going on in the world

00:01:01.340 other times we have real talk we throw those in once in a while five to 20 minutes of me giving

00:01:06.220 you some real talk and then we have 75 hard verses that's where someone who has completed the 75 hard

00:01:12.580 program comes on the show they talk about how their life was before how their life is now and how you

00:01:17.960 can use the 75 hard program to transform your life if you're unfamiliar with the 75 hard program it is

00:01:24.540 the initial phase of the live hard program the live hard program is the world's most famous mental

00:01:30.400 transformation program ever and it's free you can get it for free on our podcast audio feed only it's

00:01:37.600 not on youtube podcast audio feed only episode 208 give you the entire program for free if you're someone

00:01:44.580 who wants to know the intricate details of the program you can buy the book the book is available

00:01:49.920 andy for cella.com it is called the book on mental toughness it has the entire live hard program plus

00:01:55.760 a whole bunch of chapters on mental toughness why it's important how you can use it to cultivate the

00:02:01.680 life of your dreams and uh you can get that at andy for cella.com again that's the book on mental

00:02:06.460 toughness uh one thing about our show before we get going here is we do things a little bit

00:02:10.800 different we don't run ads on the show unless it's for this amazing first form screaming freedom

00:02:17.480 energy drink uh we might run an ad or two on that but otherwise we don't run ads and i don't run ads

00:02:24.900 because i don't want to listen to someone tell me what i can and can't say uh we try to keep it real

00:02:29.060 here and we ask very simply in exchange for that that you help us grow the show okay so if the show

00:02:34.920 makes you think if it makes you laugh it gives you a new perspective it's something that uh you think

00:02:39.000 needs to be shared do us a favor don't be a hoe share the show all right i'll up you one there i 0.98

00:02:44.560 got one cracked open what you got a little screaming for you oh yeah i want to scream

00:02:47.900 freedom today too bro makes me want to scream some freedom it does scream the freedom let freedom

00:02:55.240 scream you know what i'm saying let freedom scream what's going on though man nothing dude yeah i'm ready

00:03:01.360 to kick some ass yeah make some people better yes go it never felt so good never feels good 0.89

00:03:08.220 uh so good you know that it does today to make people better i don't know what you're trying

00:03:12.380 i don't know let's just do the show man i just gotta give me give me what you got yeah i'll give

00:03:17.680 it to you man okay i know you will yeah guys hey i got three good ones for you man are you sick over 0.75

00:03:22.700 there are you you cold you're cold oh it's freezing in here is it i really believe client comes in here

00:03:29.740 and fucks with the thermostat it's possible you know i'm saying you told me you guys all cold in 0.83

00:03:34.220 here really it's freezing maybe you all shouldn't hide in here all day it's my only safe space man

00:03:43.680 it's my safe space yeah man well guys let's get better today guys we got three good ones for you

00:03:48.700 andy um guys andy question number one uh andy i'm the kind of person who spends hours agonizing

00:03:57.900 over every little detail whether it's a work project or decorating my home it's exhausting

00:04:04.540 and even when i finish something i rarely feel satisfied my friends tell me i'm too hard on myself

00:04:10.940 but i feel like if i let go of my standards i'll be mediocre how can i learn to embrace imperfection

00:04:17.580 without feeling like i'm settling for less let's get this kicked off andy well first of all uh

00:04:24.540 perfection will keep you ignorant and unskilled okay if you were perfect all the time how could

00:04:31.660 you learn how to be any better and this is something that people have a really hard time

00:04:35.660 with they set out they want to do everything perfect which by the way you should want to do

00:04:40.540 everything perfect but what happens is that they have a you know a hiccup or they have an obstacle or

00:04:46.060 something doesn't go the way that they want and they refuse to acknowledge the value

00:04:50.860 in that situation and the truth of the matter is over the course of your life over the course of your

00:04:57.340 career the mistakes you make are much more valuable than the perfection that you execute upon

00:05:03.180 because the mistakes that you make are the things that teach you the skills the resilience the grit the

00:05:09.340 fortitude and everything that you need to know to be successful long term so instead of being upset

00:05:16.460 that you're not perfect in the beginning you should be thankful that you're making these mistakes in

00:05:21.500 the beginning when nobody's really paying attention to you because if you were to make those same mistakes

00:05:26.780 20 years from now when you're running a hundred million dollar operation everybody's going to see

00:05:32.620 them okay so and let's break this down further you can't get to a hundred million dollar operation

00:05:40.540 being perfect because you're not going to be able to learn the skills that are required to

00:05:45.260 operate at that level and then all the levels that come along the way so you're saying you will fail

00:05:51.260 before you even get that yeah but but dude listen the reason that people struggle is because they

00:05:57.260 don't put enough value on the failures that they have they're embarrassed they get upset they feel

00:06:04.140 stupid they start having doubts but they don't realize that every single business and every single 0.71

00:06:09.100 entrepreneur and every single person that they look up to the reason that you look up to them

00:06:14.060 is very simple they are willing to go out they are willing to fall on their face over and over and

00:06:20.140 over again they don't give a what anybody thinks about it they don't care what their friends say

00:06:24.300 they don't care what the media says they don't care what anybody says they're willing to fall down

00:06:29.900 on their face understanding that whatever happens past that they won't make that same mistake again and

00:06:35.820 they keep moving being successful in anything is so simple it's just that people aren't willing to go

00:06:42.460 through the process of being embarrassed in front of people who quite honestly aren't going to matter

00:06:48.940 over the course of your life so instead of wanting to be perfect do your best to be perfect and then

00:06:57.100 when you mess up instead of getting down on yourself instead of you know feeling bad instead of beating

00:07:03.500 yourself up say hey all right that's good i learned that right here from this and i'll never make that

00:07:09.820 mistake again and then when you're doing 10 20 50 100 200 500 million dollars and that same situation

00:07:18.220 presents itself you're going to remember the last time i did that this is what happened and if i do

00:07:25.100 that same thing now it's going to cost me this much more so look dude if you want to have a excruciating

00:07:32.140 time being an entrepreneur try to be perfect and get mad at yourself every time you mess up if you want

00:07:37.900 to enjoy the process and you want to enjoy it as much as you can because it is a brutal journey and

00:07:43.180 it's very difficult and it's hard for everybody including you including me including anybody else

00:07:49.660 learn to value the things that you're learning from the mistakes that you make just as much as you

00:07:55.500 value the perfection that you happen to hit by accident along the way you know what i'm saying

00:08:02.460 it is by accident yeah of course you you if you don't have the skills and you don't you know like

00:08:08.060 you know there's a thing there you can you can hit a home run without being a good hitter swinging

00:08:13.340 of bats yeah right like something look man you're gonna do things right sometimes that doesn't mean

00:08:18.700 you're skilled so don't let your ego get out in front of you and think just because you've done

00:08:23.980 a couple things in the beginning that you actually have the skills because the skills can only come from

00:08:29.260 making mistakes over and over and over again or watching other people make mistakes and learning

00:08:34.460 from their mistakes which is a great way to learn as well yeah you know andy you talk about you know

00:08:39.020 even just like actualizing your own individual success like it's a it's a strive thing right like

00:08:45.100 you're never actually going to reach that so you look at perfection pretty much the same way like you're

00:08:49.740 not gonna really ever reach that fucking pivotal but you're always striving to get as close to it as possible 0.76

00:08:55.740 right yeah i mean look dude we're on a time scale okay you're gonna run out of time eventually

00:09:02.380 like the best entrepreneurs that i've ever met they act like they're gonna live forever you talk

00:09:07.100 to these people that are in their 70s and they're talking for the next 30 years it's like bro you're

00:09:12.220 gonna be in a box you know what i'm saying but like they don't think they don't think that way

00:09:17.340 and like for example like if you took a guy like jeff bezos i think jeff bezos is around 60 or so

00:09:24.540 right um you take a guy like bezos you take everything he knows right and you give him 30

00:09:30.860 more years he's going to accomplish a whole bunch more but what's he going to learn in those 30 years

00:09:35.660 and then if he were able to live to 200 what would he be able to accomplish because of what he's learned

00:09:41.260 the last 30 years of his life so when you think about like what potential is for an individual

00:09:48.460 you have to understand that it's capped only by the amount of time that we have and so

00:09:57.900 if you actually subscribe to the idea of always improving always getting better

00:10:05.820 actualizing your own potential like you said you're never going to be able to reach your potential

00:10:11.100 because you're gaining skills along the way through the process that you don't have time to

00:10:15.740 fucking execute on at the end of your life does that make sense so the day that you die 0.94

00:10:21.020 if you've given it everything that you have you actually have more skill and more potential than

00:10:26.860 you've ever had before which is why it's important to like transfer that knowledge as you go right um

00:10:33.740 but it you know it's weird to think about but i think you know when you think about what you're going

00:10:40.060 to be the most proud of as a driven individual and look dude we're not talking to regular joes here okay

00:10:45.180 we're talking to driven people we have to we have to clarify that when you you guys who are driven

00:10:51.260 individuals who are hungry who are the go-getters who want to win when you guys get out to uh you

00:10:57.900 know the end of your life you're going to have regrets and the reality is is you get to choose

00:11:04.540 through your actions what regrets you're going to have and for entrepreneurs and people who are driven

00:11:10.220 to achieve build create um and who drive society in the proper direction those people are always going

00:11:18.620 to ask themselves they're going to say well did i give it everything i had could i have done more

00:11:22.780 what could i have done right and they're going to pay the price probably in some other areas of life

00:11:27.420 all right that's the reality but that's the trade-off yeah you're going to have a trade dude you're not

00:11:31.660 going to have it all everybody who says you're going to have it all is you're not going to have it all

00:11:35.900 it's a trade so but certain people are wired for this kind of life and if you're the kind

00:11:42.300 of person that's wired for that life a lot of reflection is going to come down to did i do

00:11:45.740 everything i could to maximize what i'm wired to do and um if you subscribe to the idea of your

00:11:53.740 potential always expanding and your skill set always expanding uh you know you're you're going

00:11:59.260 to be proud of what you did because you're going to say yeah i continue to improve i continue to

00:12:03.020 innovate i continue to reinvent myself i continue to push i continue to create i continue to build

00:12:08.300 and i did that my whole life and i did everything i could with the amount of time that i was given

00:12:11.980 and dude that's that's a noble thing because most people don't live that way yeah and then if you

00:12:15.980 take that same idea and you apply it to let's say your relationship or you apply it to your

00:12:21.340 friendships or you apply it to your family you can really have a really good uh well-rounded life

00:12:27.340 without feeling like you have too many regrets like you're always going to have some regrets man you

00:12:31.500 know i missed a couple of those soccer games or you know whatever it is right but um but there's

00:12:37.900 a trade-off for the quality of life that you're gonna have for the things that you know you're

00:12:43.660 gonna ultimately regret and that's just reality there's no way to get out of your life without

00:12:49.100 looking back and being like fuck i should have handled that different yeah i think and i think too 0.55

00:12:54.140 for most for majority of people that conversation that that's talk happens at the end of it right

00:12:59.900 for sure if you're lucky though you have the awareness well you have some near-death experiences

00:13:05.500 you know bro also push that i'll tell you this i mean look man every enlightened person that is like

00:13:13.180 totally gets it they've always had some sort of near-death experience yeah like because you're

00:13:17.900 having that conversation right there okay so when i got stabbed when i was 23 it was people people get

00:13:24.780 like so weird when i say dude was the best thing that ever happened to me well the reason one of

00:13:29.980 the reasons there was a lot of reasons it humbled me it taught me a lot taught me how to treat people

00:13:34.460 better there's a whole lot of things but one of the main things that it taught me is that your time is

00:13:39.100 finite and when that happened i went from like kind of being like i'm just be real kind of like a tub of

00:13:45.980 shit you know really not giving too much effort into my life kind of like you know it'll work itself out

00:13:52.220 to being an aggressively driven individual because of that because i'm like fuck dude that could be 0.87

00:13:58.540 taken away from me in a second i don't know when that's going to happen so i'm going to

00:14:01.740 fucking go hard right and everybody i know that has gone super super hard they all you can always 0.76

00:14:08.380 trace it back to something where their uh mortality was in jeopardy yeah you know and that conversation

00:14:15.420 came real like your shit if i'm gone right now what did i do yeah that's right dude yeah man that's 0.94

00:14:20.540 right i love it man i love it so so don't be satisfied always works to do better and learn

00:14:25.980 from the mistakes i love it man guys andy question number two hey andy i'm currently on day 27 of 75

00:14:33.900 hard i am learning so much about myself and my self-discipline i have worked in health care for

00:14:40.380 over 25 years in different genres long-term care day treatment nursing homes and patient psych and

00:14:46.700 most recently in hospitals i'm not a clinician but a manager of over 250 volunteers in a prestigious

00:14:53.340 academic medical center i'm really good at what i do and i have picked up so much knowledge along the

00:14:59.260 way i have a bachelor's degree and a master's degree and i know i can do more the other day i listened to

00:15:06.060 my boss voice and reached out to the ceo and chief human resources office officer for the entire system

00:15:12.940 uh to ask them their thoughts of going back to school to attain a higher level within the system

00:15:19.100 so i now have a meeting with the chief hr officer to discuss my qualifications and what i can do

00:15:25.420 i know i can do more and i'm wondering if you have any advice for me that i can use in my upcoming

00:15:31.180 meeting thanks in advance well first of all you can do even more than that like you guys have to

00:15:39.500 understand all right all these people that you look up to all these people that you think have

00:15:44.700 these special skills or they're in these uh super high achievement areas of life these people very

00:15:53.020 few of them have any special skills that you don't have most of these people are just regular people

00:15:59.820 they are people just like you bro they put their pants on like you they have problems just like you

00:16:05.420 they get frustrated they get angry they get disappointed they get excited they do stupid 0.82

00:16:10.780 shit just like you okay there's no difference and we make a mistake as humans when we look at other 0.86

00:16:18.140 people and we say they have something that i don't or they must be more qualified than me or they must be

00:16:25.420 smarter than me or they come from a better family or they were born with more advantages and we're

00:16:31.420 experts at telling ourselves all these reasons as to why other people are and we aren't okay and we

00:16:39.020 have to get out of that habit because every single great thing that's ever been created in the history

00:16:46.220 of the world was created by a human being and guess what you are you are a human being just like them you

00:16:55.740 have access to more information to more skill set to faster learning than anybody who has ever existed

00:17:04.940 before you in the history of earth so what is it about you that makes you incapable compared to

00:17:11.820 everybody else and i'm going to give you the answer the answer is nothing the answer is the belief in

00:17:17.900 your ability to achieve and become things that nobody you have ever seen in your own

00:17:25.900 universe has done and that is our limiting beliefs we look at everybody we know personally and we

00:17:33.260 look at them and we say okay well that's the most successful guy i know he's a doctor he makes

00:17:39.340 four hundred thousand dollars a year or makes seven hundred thousand dollars a year he's got a nice house

00:17:44.940 he drives a mercedes that is the limit of what i could maybe do and i'm probably way below that because

00:17:51.740 he's a doctor okay so we are and what are we told growing up we're told these things think about in

00:17:59.260 school dude when you're a little bitty kid your parents if you had decent parents they'll tell you

00:18:05.740 you could be anything you want you could be the president one day right but then you go to school

00:18:11.180 and in first grade second grade third grade you know they'll entertain that but by the time you're in

00:18:16.220 fifth sixth seventh grade they've started the process of indoctrinating you into your own

00:18:22.940 limitations they've started telling you hey dj i know you said you wanted to be a president but

00:18:29.020 you need to be more realistic okay we need we need to we need to get you you know maybe you could work

00:18:34.300 at 7-eleven you know that'd be a you could be the president of 7-eleven and they start telling you all

00:18:38.700 this and instilling doubt in you and bro these are the this is what's wrong with education system

00:18:44.460 we we deal and by the way it's not just the education system it's our culture okay your parents

00:18:50.300 will start telling you that they'll start telling you well you better you better figure it out because

00:18:55.020 you got to you only got a few more years left till you're out on your own and they start putting all

00:18:59.180 this extra pressure and and doubt inside of us and then we get to high school right and we're like

00:19:05.260 you know little dj is like well i want to be president and you tell your friends that and

00:19:08.460 they make fun of you and they throw you in the locker right so so over the course of time our

00:19:14.300 dreams our goals our aspirations our belief in ourself is watered down by the environment that we

00:19:22.220 all grow up in and i believe like we talk about on cti that that environment is intentionally created for

00:19:28.140 the prep of the proposition of controlling the population all right wait listen to tuesdays and

00:19:34.060 friday shows for that come back tomorrow for that one yeah but the point is guys is that you don't

00:19:39.020 really have limits you have what you have been told your limits are and you have chosen to believe

00:19:45.740 that those are your limits and that's why you have this problem going for the things you really want

00:19:51.340 and instead going for the things that are more realistic yeah right like man i'd really like to have

00:19:57.980 that that you know that 40 ounce ribeye but i'll take that three ounce fucking strip steak instead 0.98

00:20:05.820 it's almost the same thing no it's not there's a big fucking difference okay and there's a big difference 0.82

00:20:10.700 and you settling for this mediocre position and you actually going for what you want to be so so i say all

00:20:18.220 that to say this i think it's great that you're you're taking initiative i think it's great that you are starting to move in the right direction i salute you i think that you are starting to move in the right direction

00:20:25.980 right direction i salute you i think it's amazing i think you need to continue on the live hard program

00:20:31.420 for a number of years because the more years you do it the more belief you will instill in yourself

00:20:37.100 with the idea that you're going to get to a place where you're going to go to the max distance of what you

00:20:41.340 really want and that's what my suggestion would be for you take the baby step right now you're already in

00:20:48.380 the process of it but don't make that the step that's a stepping stone to where you really want

00:20:54.140 to be and i would start thinking about where you really want to be and start taking action for what

00:20:58.860 you really want to do because big dreams create big action which create big results and little dreams

00:21:05.180 create little action which creates a little bitty life that we end up regretting so you're much better

00:21:11.340 than you think you are and you need to remember that most of the doubt and most of the things that you

00:21:16.220 struggle with were installed in you by people around you who have already given up on what

00:21:21.420 their life could have been and they want you to do so as well because it makes them feel more

00:21:26.300 comfortable about their mediocre existence right it's all people who who limited themselves correct

00:21:31.340 passing that yes it's crazy yeah bro it's crazy it's everybody yeah do you know how many people told

00:21:36.540 me over the course of my life okay i'm 45 years old you know i don't even want to say what i'm worth

00:21:42.700 because people get pissed but it ain't nine figures yeah right okay it's more than that doing all

00:21:46.860 right yeah i've built a bunch of different companies been very successful done a lot of

00:21:51.900 big things and i was i was the dumbest ever if you go back in grade school everybody 0.59

00:21:58.300 made fun of me i got picked on in high school i was a cd student you know no there's not a single

00:22:03.980 teacher that i ever had ever that would would have said andy versell is going to turn out like

00:22:10.060 i have turned out not a single one and that's no disrespect to them okay because i didn't figure

00:22:15.020 it out till after that and if i had looked at me in high school i would say the same but i got to

00:22:19.340 a point where i'm like you know what dude i don't want any of these motherfuckers lives right i just 0.95

00:22:24.780 don't and that's that's and that is not me looking my nose down to whatever someone chooses for

00:22:30.700 themselves that's just not what i wanted okay i wanted to make a lot of money i wanted to be

00:22:36.220 successful i wanted to travel i wanted to have nice i wanted to build companies that is what i

00:22:42.060 chose for myself and i didn't let anybody talk me out of it like when people would say you know

00:22:47.180 little remarks and things like dude you're a little vitamin shop or this or that like bro i never for

00:22:51.980 one time did i think like all we're going to be is a little vitamin shop i would get like pissed

00:22:57.340 and i would look at the in my head and i'd be like dude

00:23:00.780 fuck you yeah like i'm going to show you bro watch this yeah and and and i and we've done it 0.99

00:23:06.380 you know and sales wired the same way my business partners are all anybody i'm in business with has

00:23:11.180 that chip on their shoulder yeah don't believe in us bro fucking doubt us fucking make fun of us 0.96

00:23:16.940 laugh giggle make remarks please do because i take all of that shit and i turn it into productive energy 0.68

00:23:23.660 and i end up stepping on your fucking throat with that so we have to learn as individuals 0.99

00:23:30.700 to take all the negativity and disbelief and doubt and limits that people put on us and turn it into

00:23:36.460 real action and shove it down their fucking throats that's what you have to do if you can't do that you 0.93

00:23:41.900 won't succeed because you get so much negativity and so much limiting belief and so much doubt so much

00:23:48.300 bullshit that happens over the course of the journey that you're on that if you can't take

00:23:53.500 it and turn it into productive action it's going to wear you down bro and you it'll crush you so you

00:24:00.140 have to have it it's not an option and we have these people who say all this idealistic shit on

00:24:04.940 the internet uh don't do it to prove them wrong do it to prove them right what the fuck have you done 0.90

00:24:11.580 you see what i'm saying bro like bro we have this scenario where people want to make

00:24:15.740 there's nobody that that's that tough that can take all of that criticism all of that pain all of

00:24:22.940 that doubt all of that shit and fucking just wear it and not use it you have to use it we only have 0.97

00:24:29.340 so much energy available to us we have positive energy hey i believe in you hey you're qualified you

00:24:36.540 bro listen you can do this okay there's that and then there's what the fuck are you thinking bro that's 0.86

00:24:42.380 not for people like you what you better be realistic dude you're gonna be broke now let me ask you

00:24:48.060 there's fucking six people in this room do you get more positive or do you get more negative you're 0.96

00:24:53.340 gonna get way more negative bro what do you what do you guys get every single motherfucker in here has 0.95

00:24:58.620 gotten more negative than positive well if you can only use the small amount of positive and you

00:25:03.580 can't use a negative you're missing out on most of the energy required to get where you want to go

00:25:07.820 so you have to learn to have that chip on your shoulder and you have to learn how to process

00:25:12.620 negativity in order to produce the positive outcome that you're looking to create yeah i want to hit on

00:25:18.140 this man because i think it's important you you said you know you like and we don't want to look down

00:25:23.660 on anybody if that's what they chose to do problem is most people are settling in their lives no mo you're

00:25:30.220 listen i'm saying you're correct here's what you're saying and i agree with you i have no problem

00:25:37.660 with anybody in fact i admire people who are living the way they want to live if it's actually their

00:25:43.580 choice if it's genuine and authentically what they want yeah bro but there's so but that's not most

00:25:49.740 people most people settle and then pretend that that's what they actually wanted so that they can be

00:25:56.300 noble you know i'm you know i i could have done all that but you know i i chose to bro i watched

00:26:02.460 you you didn't do shit you laid on your couch and off you didn't try to do anything right and you got 0.93

00:26:07.980 what you got and now you're pretending like that's what you wanted right you're lying in that yeah yeah

00:26:13.260 bro listen they're it's all yeah most people never become anything because they're lazy they don't

00:26:20.460 believe in themselves they weren't willing to take a risk and put in work that doesn't have a

00:26:24.780 guaranteed outcome and then at the end of their life they get to look at themselves in the mirror

00:26:28.860 and be like i didn't do shit and that's their that's their trade-off so they get a comfortable 0.76

00:26:34.460 life and a hard pill to swallow at the end of it yeah man and by comfortable i don't mean comfortable

00:26:40.380 i just mean like lazy comfortable yeah right right like they still gonna have high amounts of

00:26:44.140 discomfort you know that's the other thing people don't understand escape that it's gonna be

00:26:47.820 fucking hard no matter what dude like it's going to be hard whether you put in all the work to 0.89

00:26:53.500 become successful or whether you don't put any of the work and you fucking struggle your whole life 0.92

00:26:57.420 it's you know i actually am the first fucking person that said choose your heart back into 0.97

00:27:02.140 i got the meme to prove it now everybody says it right but it is what it is lots of

00:27:06.940 shit that i said original but yeah dude you choose your heart you can either fucking choose the path of 0.96

00:27:11.980 hard work and you know bear fruit or you could choose the path of being lazy and it's going to be a hard

00:27:17.500 life and that's it yeah i love it man guys andy let's do our third and final question and you've got

00:27:22.620 question number three uh hey andy i'm 25 and near bankruptcy i started a business a few years ago uh

00:27:32.780 in video production and quickly worked my way up uh to 250 000 a year being the only one in the business

00:27:40.300 over the past few months i let my ego get the best of me uh and i have no money left i'm behind on

00:27:46.540 taxes sixty thousand dollars in credit card debt spent it all on going out and expensive purchases

00:27:51.980 and i got lazy and overweight uh lost quite a few clients and businesses slow over the winter but i am

00:27:57.740 working my way back what advice do you have for me or other entrepreneurs who have self-sabotaged

00:28:05.260 after getting their first success thank you guys i hope this one makes it on the pot and i think

00:28:09.580 others can relate self-sabotage how do you what do you do after that moment you realize you didn't

00:28:13.580 self-sabotage bro you just didn't know how to handle any kind of good shit happening okay it's a 0.80

00:28:18.700 it's a normal lesson that's a normal lesson of entrepreneurship the difference is most people

00:28:23.420 let that bury them and then they say fuck i tried being an entrepreneur and it didn't work 0.59

00:28:27.820 okay that's you're at least saying all right i recognize what i did uh i got fat i got lazy i let

00:28:34.620 my ego fucking think i was the man and i spent all my money and now i'm gonna fucking shit storm 0.99

00:28:39.500 right i can respect that i respect the honesty and the fact that you're willing to own it says that

00:28:45.100 you know i don't think you'll do that again right and that's a valuable lesson so let's go back to the

00:28:49.980 question that i we asked question number one how valuable is that lesson for you to be sixty thousand

00:28:56.300 dollars in debt instead of 60 million in debt 10 years from now right okay so you're learning a very

00:29:02.060 valuable lesson that is going to be relatively cheap and i know it doesn't feel that way right

00:29:06.300 now but it's going to be relatively cheap for you to learn versus what it would cost you in 5 10 15

00:29:12.380 years so first off i'd be thankful that you're an idiot and that you're an idiot now and not later 0.99

00:29:19.180 okay secondly i would take out a piece of paper and i would write the lesson right there on the piece

00:29:25.180 of paper in a big ass fucking sharpie marker and i'd tape that on your bathroom mirror and everywhere you 0.98

00:29:30.860 need to see it because if you have the tendency to do this you're going to have the tendency to do it

00:29:36.380 again okay because you are playing the entrepreneur game for the wrong reasons and you need to adjust

00:29:43.100 those reasons and what i mean by that is this you are playing to to fund a lifestyle and you need to be

00:29:52.060 playing to create impact and value in your customer base and if you create impact and value in your

00:29:58.700 customer base you will make so much money that your lifestyle won't be a problem so let's take the

00:30:04.140 moat let's be honest about your motivation because you didn't make much money bro i mean i know that

00:30:08.060 you think you made a lot of money but you think you made you didn't right right okay and then you

00:30:12.220 figure out a way to fucking spend it you need to understand that if you really want to have a great 0.87

00:30:20.060 lifestyle you got to take the focus off of yourself and you got to put it on your people you got to put it

00:30:24.300 on your company and the rest of that will take care of itself okay so let's make that adjustment

00:30:29.500 right now let's make a conscious uh you know point to not make this mistake again and let's start

00:30:38.140 digging it out and you say okay well what do i do to dig out well fuck bro you got to start chipping 0.98

00:30:43.500 away you know there's no there's no magic success fairies could fly down and give you a check for a 0.97

00:30:47.980 hundred grand to get you out of your hole that's it you're going to have to go you're going to have

00:30:51.820 to do the work i would recommend getting on the live hard program starting 75 hard getting your

00:30:57.260 fat ass back in shape getting your mental sharp and everything else will follow that let me ask you 0.85

00:31:02.860 this andy because i i've heard this before i don't think you've ever really talked about this but

00:31:08.700 what is the right way to win meaning like how do you celebrate the win like the right way like

00:31:14.220 winners know how to win right like act like you've been here before my coach used to tell me that all

00:31:17.900 the time act like you've been here before right what's the appropriate way to do it

00:31:21.820 in in success i mean let's be real dude do you see fucking jeff bezos or elon musk or 0.96

00:31:26.620 fucking any do you see me or fucking anybody in the club popping bottles and acting like they're 0.99

00:31:31.980 fucking first time they ever got a fucking dollar right do you see that not at all right because it 0.93

00:31:37.580 ain't and i don't know anybody that's successful that acts like a like some of these fuckers online 0.83

00:31:43.180 like you know like the shit they do we're fucking it's embarrassing and it makes them look like amateurs 0.98

00:31:49.100 so yeah um you know be classy be cool reward yourself you know but realize that you know people

00:31:57.740 the people that don't like you aren't gonna like you no matter what you do so you gotta do what you

00:32:01.020 like you know what i'm saying like there's a lot of people that fucking don't like me because i drive 0.93

00:32:05.740 fucking cool ass shit and i fucking post on the internet but you know why i do that because there's 0.98

00:32:10.460 a lot of people that are young andy's out there they're gonna think that shit's awesome and be 0.71

00:32:15.100 aspiring to fucking kick ass because they're like fuck okay if i go kick ass i could drive a cool 0.99

00:32:19.420 car i could drive a bunch of them i could drive a different one every day of the month you know

00:32:22.860 what i'm saying like i can live on a fucking historic you know like it's inspiring bro and 0.92

00:32:28.940 you know there's a difference between inspiring and just being a fucking jackass you know like these 0.80

00:32:35.020 dudes on the internet throwing money in the air and shit you know it's not like it's a fine line 0.78

00:32:38.700 like it's it's a pretty big one yeah it's just don't be a douchebag yeah that's what it comes

00:32:43.420 down to i love it man yeah i i look dude this guy here you got a long way before you should be buying

00:32:49.020 any cars spending money on vacations or club like dude i see man no that's bro they need the internet

00:32:58.700 the internet's a really hard place because it causes people who are doing pretty good

00:33:05.580 to do really dumb shit that keeps them from doing better like you know like you know like 0.85

00:33:12.140 buying buying exotic car too early i gotta get a watch yes or traveling private when it's

00:33:18.620 fucking a hundred times more expensive too early uh just so you could take a picture for the instagram 0.72

00:33:24.620 like dude that shit will bury your fucking ass you know what i mean and the truth of the matter is is 0.99

00:33:29.900 like you know if i you know i don't know i just i just i just think you should live below your means

00:33:38.540 for as long as you fucking possibly can and that's it i love it yeah i love it guys forever yeah like 0.92

00:33:45.740 bro like these people that you see living in a uh 20 million dollar house and having fucking you know 0.97

00:33:51.740 30 million dollars a car you don't realize how much money those motherfuckers have made they're living 1.00

00:33:56.540 within their means you just don't get it well below it yeah you you have never conceptualized

00:34:03.580 the amount of money that you can make if you went out and built something real

00:34:08.060 and because of that you think that other people that are wealthy are spending all their money on

00:34:12.620 lifestyle and shit when they're not they're spending a small percentage on it and then they're 0.71

00:34:16.620 using their money to create more money which pays for their life you see what i'm saying for sure

00:34:22.140 and it's unfortunate you know i'm i'm pretty thankful that you know i built most of my uh

00:34:29.100 the base and the foundation of of of my success personally before social media really took off

00:34:36.700 uh and then i was able to leverage those skill sets into digital but one thing that i had that

00:34:43.820 that these other guys don't have is i didn't have

00:34:45.900 you know 200 fucking knuckleheads in my in my face every day with lamborghinis and 0.99

00:34:53.340 fucking flashy watches and shit like distracting me like i didn't have that like i i was 0.91

00:35:00.700 i had tony robbins books yeah i think that's a perfect word to distraction yeah like i never felt

00:35:05.580 like i never felt like oh fuck i need to buy this watch because he has this watch or i need to go out 0.95

00:35:10.780 and you know sacrifice the growth of my company because i need this car like that was never

00:35:16.860 that was never a thing for me because the internet wasn't what it is today and now we have a lot of

00:35:22.140 people who you know they compare themselves to these motherfuckers online and as you guys are seeing more

00:35:27.500 and more and more of these guys are getting caught up in lawsuits and federal cases and indictments

00:35:33.740 and it's just showing you like this isn't real they're not real like if they haven't built a real

00:35:38.540 company if they they don't have employees and they haven't built multiple companies and you

00:35:43.180 can't order their products and you and you know you can't see what they built you can't experience

00:35:49.180 their company like motherfucker you shouldn't be fucking paying them for business advice you just 0.98

00:35:54.780 shouldn't like why the fuck would you do that you see what i'm saying and we have a lot of people 0.90

00:36:01.740 who don't know any better and it's sad and this is this is part of the reason why i'm starting

00:36:05.340 an mfco project again because for the last four years and by the way we're keeping this show going

00:36:10.380 it's going to be on an app but for the last four years we focused on dude cultural awareness like

00:36:15.980 hey if we fucking lose here there ain't going to be an opportunity for any fertile soil well now we're 0.82

00:36:20.860 going to get our fertile soil back and people young people are going to have to learn how to really 0.99

00:36:24.540 win so i want to turn my focus back because i have built a number of very real things

00:36:29.180 um to to training these younger people how to actually build things and actually win

00:36:36.060 not just this hocus pocus fucking bullshit you know because dude for us to keep this country

00:36:42.300 it's very you know we talk about this all the time dude you gotta have the soil and then you

00:36:46.380 gotta plant the seeds and harvest out of it and we were about to have soil that would never allow us

00:36:51.340 to plant seeds and and harvest out of it and now we are going to have that and you guys need to learn

00:36:56.540 how to plant and fucking harvest and so that's that's what i'm going to do and and i was called 0.92

00:37:01.100 to do it uh i felt called to do it again because i see so much fucking garbage out there of people 0.93

00:37:09.420 being misled and taken advantage of and taught things that aren't real by people who've never

00:37:14.540 done anything because they they you know it's because of what they see on the internet like bro

00:37:19.260 it's not it it yeah no it's not it man well would you rather would you rather look like you have

00:37:28.140 money or would you rather have money i'd rather have no no shit bro yeah obviously and that's that's 0.68

00:37:32.300 the problem with instagram right now so well guys maybe it's a hell of a way to start a monday

00:37:38.300 yeah all right guys we'll see you tomorrow on cti don't forget don't be a hoe show the show 1.00

00:37:47.260 fucker bowl fucker stole counted millions in the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bank road 1.00

00:37:53.740 can't fold just a no head shot case closed

REAL AF with Andy Frisella - January 27, 2025

832. Q&AF： Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures

Episode Stats

Summary

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REAL AF with Andy Frisella - January 27, 2025

832. Q&#x26;AF： Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals &#x26; Bouncing Back From Big Failures

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

832. Q&AF： Too Hard On Myself, Achieving Bigger Goals & Bouncing Back From Big Failures