874. Andy & DJ CTI: Mike Waltz To Be U.N. Ambassador, Pakistan Claims India Will Strike Them Within 36 Hours & Michelle Obama Blasts Trump's Immigration Crackdown
Episode Stats
Harmful content
Misogyny
54
sentences flagged
Toxicity
773
sentences flagged
Hate speech
126
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode of The Realists, DJ Cruz and Andy discuss the state of the union, America is home, and why we should all be patriots. Also, we introduce a new segment called "Old School" where we bring back old school segments from the internet.
Transcript
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What is up, guys? It's Andy Purcell, and this is the show for the realists. Say goodbye
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to the lies, the fakeness, and delusions of modern society, and welcome to motherfucking
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reality. Guys, today we have Andy and DJ Cruz the Internet. Okay. I guess that's what the
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new deal is now, but that made me do it. Did he? Okay. Well, that's what we're going to
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do. That's what CTI stands for, Cruz the Internet. All right, we're going to put topics on the
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screen. We're going to speculate on what's going on. We're going to talk about what's
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true and what's not true, and then we're going to talk about how we, the people, have to solve
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these problems going on in the world. Let's just get into it. Yep. What's up? Yeah,
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hey, yep, because technically it'd be like C-T-M-F-I. You know what I'm saying? Oh, so
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we're being grammatically correct? Listen, I'm trying. Oh. All right. Got it. I read the
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book, you know what I'm saying, that you gave me, the how to read. How do you read a book
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on how to read? Yep. So I'm trying, man. That is kind of a weird thing to sell, right? Like
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a book on how to read. Yeah. Yeah. Motherfuckers still buy it. Yeah. Anyway. Got the fee? Got
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the fee? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We do have a fee. The fee is very simple. We make you a
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deal, all right? We're not going to fill your ears with ads for, you know, half the
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show. And you do us a solid and share the show. That's how it works. Simple. So don't
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be a hoe. Share the show. All right. Very, very simple, man. We got a jam-packed,
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show today. Oh, we do? Jam-packed. Yep. We got a bunch of different stuff. We got an
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old school segment coming back. We got Andy Frisella back on the internet. Oh, yeah.
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Yeah. I forgot. We got, we got, listen, this is a jam-packed episode here for a special
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Friday release, man. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And so we got plenty of time. We'll
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get there. You know what I'm saying? But let's just get it going, man. Go. Let's get it
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going. I think we should start this episode off with an OG segment. We, we're
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we've done it before. People liked it. They, uh, it's 90 seconds of liberal
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insanity. Sounds good to me. Here we go. We love America. We love America. The red,
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white, and blue. America is everyone's home. Even Mrs. Tina's home. Break it down, Hannah.
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Everyone is beautiful. In the red, white, and blue country. America. Oh, America. America
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America is beautiful. America is home. Where we stand. Where we are all gorgeous in our home.
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Not only we, but my friend Tina is beautiful. In the red, white, and blue. America. America
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That's not real. Oh, bullshit. That is, that is, is real. That is as real as American pie.
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That's AI. No, I don't think AI could do that. I don't think it would do that.
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This is violating terms and conditions. For sure, bro. I'm sorry, sir. You're fucking insane.
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That's where we are, huh? That is, uh, that's the state of the union, man. 90 seconds.
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Did you notice how these, uh, how these people are now trying to pretend as if they're patriots?
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Isn't that weird? Yeah, that's weird. Like last year, they were burning the flag and, and then kneeling at football games.
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Yeah, right, right. And now all of a sudden, they're the patriots. They love it.
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And everybody else is the traitors. Mm-hmm. Got it. Mm-hmm. That is weird.
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That is weird. It is weird. Bro, that sit-in we talked about the other day, I actually got a chance to see it after we talked about it on the show.
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That sit-in that they tried to do last weekend, there was like nine people that showed up?
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On the steps? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, bro. Bro, that Jeffries dude was talking about how, uh, you know, he was using General Grant's quote.
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You know, there, there are but two parties, you know, traitors and patriots. And like, bro, what the fuck are you talking about? You're the traitors. Like, you always have been. You guys are burning flags last year.
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Like three days ago. Yeah. You're burning the cities down. Like, now all, like, what are you,
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what's going on here? It's weird. It's super weird. It's weird, man. I, I don't, I don't know what that is.
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Like, is it, is this like a marketing technique? Like, you're trying to, like, project yourself to be,
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like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, what, what, what, what is going on?
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They couldn't recite the Pledge of Allegiance. I know. They can't recite it. Can't recite it.
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Dude, Kamal Harris couldn't do it. She couldn't do it. Like, like, yeah. It is weird, man. It is weird. Um, I don't know.
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I don't, I don't know what that is. Yeah. Well, it's painful. It is definitely painful
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to see, but yeah, I can appreciate their breakdowns. Bro, that's how white people get
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bad name, bro. We shouldn't even allow people. That should be the shit they censor off the
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internet. Now I will say this. Some of you guys can dance. Like some of you guys got it.
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You know what I'm saying? Like there's the rhythm in there. You know what I'm saying?
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Like I give credit, you know what I'm saying? To some. Yeah. The most, most just shouldn't,
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just shouldn't try it. I agree. And these, these, they fall into that. Yeah. Yeah. 90 seconds of
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liberal insanity, guys. There you go. Let us know what you think down in the comments, man. With that
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being said, let's get into our cruise. Uh, we got a lot of stuff to cover, man. It's, uh, we're
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going to be, this is a global episode. Okay. Um, uh, we got a lot of stuff to cover. Guys,
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if you want to see these articles, pictures, links, videos, go to Andy for seller.com. You
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guys can check them all out there. Um, and I'm also going to try to behave myself this episode.
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Okay. No, uh, no, no, uh, no racism. Okay. That means extra racism. I'm going to behave
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myself this episode. I promise. All right. Or at least for the first segment headline number
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one, let's dive into it. Um, we got to debunk some myths that were going around. Um, this
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was a wild headline for some reason. There was a lot of talks in the white house today. Mike
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Waltz, Waltz was getting fired, um, from the national security advisor position. Um, and
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I mean, dude, it was, everybody was covering it. Fox news, CNN, right? Like Trump's national
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security advisor, Mike Waltz expected the department administration sources say, um, NBC jumped on
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the bandwagon and, and they were all trying to link this, uh, that signal chat leak bullshit
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that was going on. Uh, um, but everybody was covering it just a quick debunk because, you
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know, it only took a couple of hours of, you know, everybody, you know, going crazy and
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losing their minds about this. Um, that Trump finally cleared the air with a truth. Um, he
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posted this out around one o'clock today saying quote, I am pleased to announce that I will
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be nominating Mike Waltz to be the next United States ambassador to the United nations from
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assignment uniform on the battlefield and Congress. And as my national security advisor, Mike
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Waltz has worked hard to put our nation's interests first. I know he will do the same in his
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new role. Uh, in the interim, secretary of state, Marco Rubio will serve as national security
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advisor while continuing a strong leadership at the state department together. We will
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continue to fight tirelessly to make America and the world safe again. Thank you for your
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attention to this matter. Um, but it just goes into one of those things, man, of like all
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these people that like the, the, the media, I guess itself, they keep like, I guess they
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feel like they're protected because all they have to do is just say sources without actually,
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I was just thinking that, like, what is that? I was just thinking when you were reading
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that, I'm like, I guess we can say anything we want as long as we say sources or insiders.
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Right. Like in your, in your, in your safe. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Call it fucking
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journalism. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't, what is that? It, it's a way
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for them to lie and propagate without having to be responsible for it. I can't reveal my sources.
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Right. Right. I have to protect my sources. Yeah. Yeah. Um, you mean you made it up?
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Well, I mean, cause they got called out. I want to say it was wall street journal. Uh,
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they got called out because they did the same exact thing with Tesla and Elon Musk saying like,
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Oh, Tesla's looking for new, you know, uh, board of directors and you know, new, new position.
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They're going to be ousting Elon. And like both of them, the company and Elon both came out like,
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that's full of shit. Yeah. Let's house like the smartest fucking dude in the world.
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Yeah. I mean like, like makes sense. Makes perfect fucking sense. But I don't know what,
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like, dude, that's so annoying to see. I know you guys see it, but it's like,
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that's not journalism, man. No, it's not fucking. It's dude. It's propaganda. It's intentional
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disruptive propaganda. Yeah. And that, this is what they do. They listen, you don't have to have
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the facts right anymore to publish it, which is totally wrong. You know, like how many lives do
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they destroy by doing this? Dude. Well, Trump, I tried to find a video that there was a video going
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around of like a, uh, interview that Trump did with ABC, I think. And they got a question
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like, Oh, but there's no, like, there's no investigations and no referrals. It was like,
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Trump's like, how do you know that? Oh, I mean, you know, like, how do you, well, how do you
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know that? Like, you're not, you wouldn't even, you're not even like legally supposed to know
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that. Like, how would you know that there's not, or there is. And Trump called them out on
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a, like, but it's just annoying. It's whatever. Um, let's talk, let's talk about, let's transition
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this a little bit to some, some judges. That's going to be headline one. We got to talk about
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some judges that, um, that deserve to be in prison. So hold on. So was this tweet today?
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Yeah, this was today. This was today. So they, they did this whole like rile up, like there
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was a whole media. So they made it seem like he was being fired when in reality, for in
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reality, he was being promoted, promoted to it. Yeah. Yeah. And many different, it's the
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highest post of the country. I mean, as far as ambassadors go for sure, just dumb shit,
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you know, dumb shit, dispelling myths, man. Um, but yeah, let's, let's transition this
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a little bit. I want to talk about some judges because I got a couple of headlines here that
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are, they're, they're wild, man. They're wild. Um, so this first one here, uh, judge orders
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suspect behind firebombing of Missouri Tesla released from federal custody. Um, let's dive
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into this a little bit. U S magistrate judge, Jessica Hedges agreed that Owen McIntyre, who is
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19, a student at the university of Massachusetts, Boston should be released after McIntyre's lawyers
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argued he'd be released noting that quote, he has no criminal record and that he has quote
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strong ties to his community in Missouri. Um, the same community he tried to burn down. Um,
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McIntyre's lawyers also argued that, uh, he'd be released noting his quote, medical and mental
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health needs. McIntyre has reportedly been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder, um,
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attention deficit, hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, uh, depression and gender dysphoria.
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According to court records, let's check this clip out. Bria and John, the government wanted
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Owen McIntyre to spend the time before trial behind bars, but the judge in Boston sided with
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the defense in this cage, which cited multiple medical issues facing the 19 year old, including
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autism spectrum disorder, gender dysphoria and ADHD. McIntyre's attorney argued the teen should
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be released citing serious and ongoing medical needs and treatments that could not or would
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not be provided while in federal detention. The defense filing says McIntyre is being treated
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for depression. And since March has been receiving gender affirming care, that care would likely
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be interrupted or terminated in federal custody. Well, don't look like he's getting treated outside
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of fucking jail. So, so, so now we can blow shit up and we could say we're depressed and have autism,
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which has become a virtue signal. Like you go on Tik TOK right now, dude, there's all these,
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it's a new thing, man. There's all these women who are fucking 30 years old who are saying, Oh,
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I just got diagnosed with autism. I never knew it. That's what's wrong with me. And then they're
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making videos of them doing stupid ass shit, pretending that they have autism, which is
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insulting to people who actually have it or deal with family members who actually have it. It's insane.
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So we're going to virtue signal autism. Like it's like the new fucking thing.
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They all want to have disabilities, bro. They all want to be in a protected class. And because they
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can't be in a protected class anymore with this trans shit or whatever else they're, they're choosing
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to act like they're, they have autism. And so regardless of all that, whether you have autism or not,
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or depression or not, or any of this other shit that excuses you from committing violent
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fucking crime offenses, bro, get the fuck out of here. This is bullshit. So basically
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any of us that get caught doing anything, all we have to say is that we're retarded.
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I didn't know because I'm an idiot. Wait, wait, grenade. Boom. Wait, wait, I'm retarded.
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Bro, what the fuck are we talking about here? Oh, wait, we, I do have a,
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did you hear there's another word that came back? No, dyke. I didn't know that went away.
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Yeah. Went away for a little bit. It was like a little hermit for a minute, but I didn't know
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that was considered a, a, an offensive term. I just thought it was what it was.
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Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's back. So, yeah. I'm a retarded dyke.
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Don't lock me up. It never went anywhere. But like, dude, and, and you know,
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that's not okay. Okay. So clearly if we have people with mental disabilities
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or depression or anxiety, so, so they're dangerous. So should we remove all of those
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people from the fucking, should we put them all into mental institutions because they're going to do
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violent things like we're setting work to dangerous precedent. Dude. Yeah. But it doesn't
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matter because nothing, nobody's ever held accountable unless it's like the set, you know,
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unless it's convenient for the political agenda, the rule of law has been so watered down and bet so
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hard to P to judge his personal agendas that the only people that are held accountable are people
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that don't align with them politically or socially. And, and so like, you know, I don't know, this is,
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this is absurd that person should be in jail. And if they have autism and they have all these things,
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I think that's a case for them. If they're going to be violent to actually be detained because they're
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clearly a threat to the people around them. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. It's not like they were
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getting the help outside. They're blowing shit up. So like if I lock them up, like, yeah, it's crazy
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to me. It's crazy to me, but I'm just sick of this shit, dude. Like I am sick of the, I'm, I'm,
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here's what I'm sick of in society. I'm sick of people making excuses, pretending like they have
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medical issues that are, you know, made up. All right. Like I'm not saying depression is made up.
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I'm not saying autism is made up. I'm saying people make them up to get out of shit. And they say,
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I have this, so I'm not accountable for that. Well, that's not okay. And dude, we have this
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situation society where everybody can get away with anything. As long as they say mental health,
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my mental health was suffering. So, and they almost like leverage it against you. Like,
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oh, I got fired because my, my employer didn't understand I was dealing with mental health.
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Well, motherfucker, you're hired to do a job and you can't do it. That's it. I don't,
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your mental health does not play into reality, but apparently it does.
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Or at least they're trying to make it. Yeah. I don't, I don't do my, I couldn't do my job
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because I'm struggling with mental health. Well, fuck dude. I don't know what to tell you.
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Grow the fuck up. Well, that's what I had to do. That's what everybody else had to do.
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That's the other piece of it, Andy. Like the reason, and I, I truly genuinely firmly believe
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this in my being that like a lot of the stuff we're seeing, man, like even like you take depression,
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right? Like I know it's a real thing, but I think when you start peeling that shit back,
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it's because people aren't doing anything. Well, of course they don't have a purpose.
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They're not achieving anything. They're not doing anything. They're bored. They sit in front of their TV.
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They game. They, they eat shitty food. Dude. Of course you're going to have some fucking problems.
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Dude. When you make your life uber convenient and remove the purpose and remove the work
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and remove everything that gives you self-worth and self-value, you are naturally going to feel
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irrelevant and you are going to feel depressed and you are going to feel that way because you know
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that you are not doing exactly what you should be doing. And this is no secret. Humans need purpose.
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And when we take this, this is the danger of technology. All right. We are trying to create,
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and we mean society. It's really they. Okay. They're creating a society that is uber convenient.
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Okay. I have instant food. I have instant entertainment. I, now I'm going to have universal
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basic income because AI can do everything for me. So basically these people should just sit at home
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and do nothing. Like what the fuck are they going to do? Well, they're going to sit at home. They're
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going to play video games. They're going to live in this virtual world. None of which are what we as
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humans are designed to do. And they wonder why they feel like shit, you know, like, and dude, but
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regardless, that does not excuse someone from committing crimes. You know, Oh, I, I, I, I plead insanity.
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I murdered an entire family. Well, that doesn't matter. You still murdered an entire family. You're
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going to fucking jail. Like that's how this should be. We need to stop sympathizing.
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with people for whatever happened to them in the past or whatever trauma they had or whatever. It's
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fucking bullshit, bro. Like we have all these therapists and all these victim culture people, uh,
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out here selling the idea of mental health and trauma and healing as if it's a permanent stop,
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right? As if you're supposed to be healing your entire life, bro. Healing is a temporary thing.
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And that is other, in other words, you know what it's called? Get the fuck over it, right? Whatever
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you got to do to feel better so that you can move forward. It's not a place for you to stop your life
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and, and, and dwell, which is what a lot of these people do. And a lot of these therapists convince
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these people that they're perpetually broken and they create a cycle of
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brokenness for these people so that they can make a fucking profit. Like if your monetary income
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depended on people being sick, what motivation do you have to actually fucking heal them?
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You know what I'm saying? Right. This is all bullshit. And then we have, we have society excusing
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these people for the things that they do. Okay. Well, I know what I can say now, if I ever get in
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trouble, you know, I swear I'm saying it, right? Next time I get pulled over for speed. I'm sorry,
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man. I'm retarded. I, I don't know what to tell you. You can't give me a ticket. Yeah. Right.
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Otherwise you're a bigot. Yeah. Right. You're a retardist. Yeah, that's right. You hate retarded
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people. You hate people. You can't give me a fucking ticket. I'm just saying, man. Oh man. What a time
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to be alive, man. What a time to be alive. Another thing that will also get you off.
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What? Tell me to fucking lie. No, no lie. No lie. Another, but another thing,
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yeah, that can get you off of being held accountable is, is not being a U S citizen at
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all. Not even supposed to be here. All right. And you're committing bullshit. Who are we holding
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accountable? Yeah. Literally. Nope. White people. That's right. White people. Yep. For the raisins
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and potato salad. Travis County. That's a fair argument. That's a fair argument. That's a fair
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argument. I think, I think that deserves some real punishment. Just saying, um, Travis County
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judge slashes bond from $1.2 million to $7,000 for foreign trucker who killed five, including
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a baby and fiery Austin crash. Dude, this is, this is fucking insane, man. Bro. It's like
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that guy, that guy, that guy ran over police officer here in St. Louis. Yeah. That was
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illegal. And he was drunk and got off and get off. So, I mean, yeah, you either say you're
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retarded or just say you're not from here and don't speak English. Like, and you're good.
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You're good, man. Let's dive into this a little bit. Cause this, this is, so this actually happened
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a while ago. Um, uh, of when this actually like initially happened. So a Travis County
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judge on Tuesday slashed the bond for Solomon, what Kalali, out of Rara, um, a foreign national
00:22:26.080
and 18 wheel drive, uh, 18 wheeler driver, uh, from 1.2 million down to a jaw dropping $7,000
00:22:32.740
despite his role in a tragic crash that left five people dead, including a child and a
00:22:38.600
baby. The deadly pileup occurred last month on interstate 35 in North Austin involving
00:22:44.240
17 vehicles and 17 people resulting in a fiery devastation and multiple injuries. Victims
00:22:52.640
and their families are now pursuing more than $150 million in damages. But for the Travis
00:22:58.520
County judicial system, the perpetrator gets a wrist slap and a ticket to walk free under
00:23:03.460
laughable conditions. Um, so Wakanda Arara, um, who was initially charged with five counts
00:23:10.020
of intoxication and manslaughter and two counts of intoxication assault allegedly failed a field
00:23:16.880
sobriety test. What's the difference between intoxication and intoxication? Is there a difference?
00:23:22.960
I don't know. Well, I mean, you said intoxication, I may have read it wrong. And then you said
00:23:28.920
intoxication. I just didn't know if there's a difference. Oh, I think, I don't think intoxication
00:23:33.120
is a word. That's the joke. Oh yeah. I was just didn't know. I'm glad I know now. Listen,
00:23:43.460
I have no problem being held accountable. All right. I'm one of the few. That's your white hat.
00:23:48.900
You know how most people got like, it's like, you know, you got God and devil on the shoulders.
0.67
00:23:56.380
Mine's just like white DJ, black DJ going back and forth. You know what I'm saying?
00:24:02.240
Steal it. No, just say borrow. You know what I'm saying?
00:24:07.560
You know what I'm saying? Like, that's my life, man. That's my life. That's my life.
00:24:13.540
Oh man. It's a constant battle, isn't it? Dude, listen, it's hard. It's hard, man.
00:24:18.660
See, mine's like, you know, mayonnaise or racist in my potato salad. You know, put old
00:24:26.300
Bay in there. Too much pepper. You know what I'm saying? It's dance. Don't fucking dance.
00:24:31.320
Oh fuck, dude. Oh man. Yep. Um, yeah. Uh, but he failed a sobriety test. He failed to do it. I
1.00
00:24:43.480
believe, um, officers citing classic symptoms of central nervous system, depressant use,
00:24:48.940
bloodshot eyes, mumbled speech and swaying. However, subsequent testing revealed no drugs
00:24:53.800
or alcohol in his bloodstream. Um, so it might've just been low IQ is what, uh, what it sounds
00:24:59.240
like. Um, the intoxication charges are stemming from what prosecutors are arguing is sleeplessness.
00:25:05.260
So is what they claim. They also claim antidepressants might be to, to, to blame. Um, yeah, I mean,
00:25:12.200
I don't know, but this is his condition is bond agreement now. So $7,000. Dude, what are
00:25:17.240
we doing? What are we doing? So we can just say whatever we want. Oh, it's because of this.
00:25:25.060
Oh, it's because my dad spanked me when I was fucking three. Cause my dad didn't.
0.99
00:25:29.240
Yeah. Well, it, it, you know, it's because I was on antidepressants. It's because I cut
00:25:34.220
my dick off. Yeah. Because I, I had an energy drink five hours ago. Like what the fuck can
1.00
00:25:40.080
we not, you know, like what? So we just blame these things on anything now. Yep.
0.98
00:25:45.000
What? This is insane. It's wild, bro. It's wild. Oh dude. You know, I'm sorry. I fucking wrecked
00:25:52.280
the car. I'm on antidepressants. Who's that guy? That's the Wakanda guy. Oh, shocking.
0.99
00:26:01.780
Yeah, man. It's sick, man. It's sick. I'm just tired of this lack of personal responsibility
00:26:08.680
and accountability based upon these bullshit stories that people tell everyone. Like I act
0.98
00:26:16.240
like an asshole. Oh, sorry. I'm bipolar. Or, you know, I, I wrecked my car. Oh man. It's
0.99
00:26:21.360
the antidepressants. I was having a bad day. Like there's no accountability. Now people get
00:26:25.960
to make up anything they want to escape accountability. It's fucking insane. Oh, I, I, I firebombed a
0.99
00:26:33.720
Tesla. Oh, it's because I have gender dysmorphia. I didn't think that you had gender dysmorphia.
00:26:39.300
I thought you were a woman. What the fuck is it? You know what I'm saying? I thought you knew.
1.00
00:26:43.640
I thought you knew since you were born that you were a woman on the inside. I didn't know you had
0.98
00:26:48.780
confusion about it. Yeah. Right. So what is it? At least we're finally admitting that. No, dude,
00:26:54.100
it's the first women in space. Oh really? What's a woman? Oh, well, like dude, I'm just tired of the
1.00
00:27:04.280
convenient application of whatever anyone feels like to push any narrative and escape any accountability.
00:27:12.320
It's absurd. And it only works for protected classes. It does not work for anyone who is not
0.77
00:27:18.500
in a protected class. Like, which is me, you know, like dude, real talk. Like if I did that,
00:27:26.100
what would happen to me? If I did either one of those things, what would be, well, it'd be all over
00:27:29.900
the fucking news. White nationalists. That's right. Andy Fursella fucking kills 75 people when it's
1.00
00:27:38.240
fucking none. Right. It'll be totally a lie. Like, and it'll be based on sources. You know,
1.00
00:27:47.220
dude, it's insane. Yeah. Dude, I'm just going to claim gender dysmorphia now. Yeah. Anything that
0.84
00:27:54.800
happens to me? Sorry, dude. I would be confused. Yeah. That's right. It was. Did you say that's
00:28:02.260
white? Yeah. I'm, I'm white and intoxicated. That's what it is. Yeah. There we go. Yeah. There
00:28:12.020
we go. Guys. I'm white, intoxicated, gender dysmorphia, depressed, retarded. You can't
1.00
00:28:19.700
prosecute me for anything. The laws do not apply. Sir, I need some proof. Just dance.
00:28:27.320
You know what I'm saying? Oh man, we live in a fucking strange place, bro. What a time,
0.99
00:28:36.240
man. We have to like in real talk. I know we're talking a lot of shit and making jokes, but like,
00:28:40.160
dude, we as citizens have to start demanding accountability for all people. If the laws only
0.98
00:28:49.160
apply selectively, then the laws do not matter. Period. We will never have civility or structure
00:28:56.540
or rule of law in society with selective application. We won't have a high trust society.
00:29:02.960
We'll have exactly what we have, which honestly, I think all of us are getting pretty fucking tired of.
00:29:08.800
Yeah. Well, guys, tell us if you are tired of it, let us know down in the comments what you guys think
00:29:12.980
about this topic. With that being said, let's go check out some of your thoughts
00:29:16.980
and opinions as we create. All they're going to be is people talking about how good DJ is.
00:29:21.860
Oh, bullshit. We already know how this is going to go. You want to bet? First comment. What'd you
0.99
00:29:26.120
think? I don't know. DJ's the funniest. No, man. His first comment, bro. Listen. Oh, wait,
00:29:34.120
hold on. Before we get into this, I got a fucking bone to pick. All right. I put a poll up on my story
0.99
00:29:42.140
that said, who wins? 100 Andy and DJs or a gorilla? And 65% said Andy and DJ, which clearly
00:29:59.840
they're intelligent. But apparently 35% of you are in a protected class.
00:30:05.720
Because there's no fucking way. No, there's no chance. There's no way. And first of all,
0.99
00:30:15.480
100 Andy and DJs is actually 200 people. Technically. So we would definitely win. Mathematically.
00:30:24.380
Dumb asses. Yeah. And I'm not a, I'm not a botanist. So, but I think the math works out.
1.00
00:30:28.320
Okay. Yep. Let's cruise some comments, man. Okay. What? This first one, man. AZ fly board
00:30:42.560
rental. My vote on the tag team name is heat and humidity. I like that. Still think they
00:30:51.660
like me? Huh? You still think that's all lifting up DJ, huh? They called me humidity.
00:30:55.700
I like it. Heat. Heat's good. I'll take it. Heat and humidity. Fuck. That's rich, man. That's
00:31:12.980
rich. See what they did there. Yep. Thanks. Next one. Purple pig form. Oh, you know, this
00:31:19.140
is going to be good. Purple pig form. Andy, DJ, make a monkey sound. DJ, ooh, ooh, I want
00:31:25.700
a hellcat. Bro, that's some racist shit. That's some racist shit, man. Bro, man, what, man?
1.00
00:31:36.740
What the fuck, man? That's some racist shit, purple pig farm. You should be proud.
1.00
00:31:42.840
Dude. Dude. I mean, fuck it, man. It is what it is, man. It is what it is. It's good for
00:31:54.980
the soul. It's, you know what? Here's the thing. This is the other thing. We are in a protected
00:32:00.960
class because we're comedians. We are. We can. We are. We are not business people or podcasters
00:32:07.120
or YouTubers. Nope. We are comedians, which means we can say fucking anything. It's a joke.
00:32:14.060
And if you don't like it, tough. Can't do anything because we're protected. Tough balls,
00:32:18.380
man. Now, I got some other comments. Andy, Andy, Andy Frisella came back to Instagram.
0.98
00:32:23.280
He did. It was an accident. No, it wasn't. Was it not? So, dude, it's real. I swear. I swear
00:32:33.620
it was an accident. Okay. So, I was building out. Okay. It's been five years since I've posted.
00:32:41.520
Yeah. Literally five years. And since then, there's been a lot of updates to Instagram,
00:32:45.200
right? And so, I was like trying to build out my post as if I was going to post. I wasn't
00:32:53.800
actually going to post. Are you just testing it out? It's been amazing. I was trying to build
00:32:56.620
a carousel and, you know, make a nice post. I wanted to show the receipts, which are so uncommon
00:33:02.720
these days. I wanted to communicate to people like, hey, man, these people that you think
00:33:08.740
are these, you know, rich, smart, like, dude, they're just like you. They just don't fucking
0.99
00:33:13.960
quit, which is what I've always told people. And, you know, we have a lot of frauds and
0.99
00:33:19.440
fucking fakers that can't show the receipts. And that's not very inspiring, bro. It's not
0.99
00:33:23.740
inspiring when you just show the result and you don't explain like how you actually got
00:33:28.860
there. Like, instead of, you know, just selling people the end result and pretending like they
00:33:34.480
can have it too. And then the only way they make their money is by selling people that
00:33:40.080
dream when they haven't actually done it, anything else besides sell people that. I don't like
00:33:44.960
that. That's not real. Okay. And I just wanted to show people what it looked like, you know,
00:33:51.740
how the fuck I got here, you know, and we have a lot of people that follow me that don't
0.95
00:33:55.500
know my background. And so I was just, you know, okay, let's build a little visual carousel
0.97
00:34:00.780
and a caption. And I was like, I was, you know, building it out. I'm like, this, this
00:34:05.380
would probably be a pretty cool post. And then my phone rang. And when my phone rang,
00:34:10.380
I answered it. And then I put it on speaker because I was still, I was still trying to
00:34:16.020
look at the carousel and it posted. And I was like, oh shit. And then I was like, fuck.
0.99
00:34:20.940
All right, whatever, man. And so that's, that's what happened for real.
1.00
00:34:24.140
People loved it. Yeah. It was fucking fine. Like, Hey man, it might be another five years,
00:34:28.200
but you know, it is what it is. You know, I think I, you know, here's what I will say.
00:34:34.880
It was really cool to, uh, it was really cool to see so many people that I recognize their IG
00:34:40.960
handles from like years and years and years ago, still following along. And, and there was a lot
00:34:46.520
of stories in the comments, which were like, Hey man, since then I've done this, you know,
00:34:50.500
since I found you, this is what I've done. And guys like real talk, man, like, you know,
00:34:54.960
jokes aside, uh, that inspires the fuck out of me. Like, cause like, dude, when you're here and
00:35:02.520
you're talking into a microphone or a phone, it's like talking into the abyss. Like you don't know
00:35:08.900
how many people are actually following it or doing it. And you wonder like, fuck dude, does anybody
0.99
00:35:14.040
hear what I'm saying? And, uh, it was just cool. Cause like, I got a lot of DMS and there was a
1.00
00:35:19.240
lot of posts and comments, um, or a lot of comments in the posts that were kind of telling me like how
00:35:25.520
people, uh, have progressed. And I just, that made me feel, it made me feel good. And, uh, it made me
00:35:31.640
proud of everybody that's out there doing the work. And I know we fucking joke around a lot and we talk
0.88
00:35:36.220
a lot of shit, but, uh, it, I don't know. I think we got a really special community. Um, and it's just,
0.99
00:35:42.840
it's cool. So like, I'm, you know, I'll probably, I'll probably stay on it just so we could start,
00:35:47.740
you know, connecting again. And I don't know. I'm just, it's just feel, it made me feel grateful.
00:35:52.620
Yeah. We shall see. People fucking loved it. We pulled a couple of comments. Oh, we're doing
00:35:58.260
Cruz Andy's comments. Cruz Andy's comments. All right. Hey, that's a good deal. You guys comment
00:36:02.700
in the, in my post. We'll, we might put you on the show. I put you up. So this first one,
00:36:06.560
Nico, uh, Lasvico, Andy coming for the course sellers.
00:36:14.140
I mean, I'm not, but I think my presence sort of speaks for itself.
0.99
00:36:18.800
Listen, I think there's gonna be a lot of people delete their fucking Instagram after this.
0.98
00:36:22.260
I'm just being real. Well, we'll see. There's nothing wrong with courses from people who've
0.99
00:36:26.380
actually done things. Yeah. The problem is, that's the key. Yes. There's nothing wrong with
00:36:31.520
spending money to learn things from people who have done the things they are teaching. That is,
00:36:35.960
that's called intelligent. But when you just look at someone's lifestyle and you think, oh,
00:36:40.620
I'm going to buy this course because I think I can have that. That's called protected class.
00:36:45.160
You know what I'm saying? Like it just, yeah. Yeah. That's real. Uh, there's an actual mortgage
00:36:50.520
fix says AF, uh, backposting squares before GTA six. Oh man. That's a good one. That's a good one.
00:36:56.500
Yeah. That's a good one. Uh, probably a favorite one, um, from a white ninja season.
0.99
00:37:01.520
It's white nigga season. It is. Well, look at the, I like, I like the profile picture.
1.00
00:37:14.080
You know what was, bro, bro, you know what was so funny about that is that I saw that comment
00:37:23.500
and I laughed and then like some of the people got like offended by it. Oh no shit. Yeah. Cause
0.99
00:37:28.140
it's like, you know, there's two communities, bro. There's podcast community. Then there's
00:37:31.840
Instagram community, YouTube community. It's all different. Yeah. So like a lot of these
00:37:35.980
people don't know how much we talk shit and joke around on the show. And a couple of people were
0.96
00:37:40.480
like, oh bro, you know, that's, it's like, dude, come on, man. We joke around here. It's all good.
00:37:45.460
Yeah. Relax. It's all right. I will tell you, I do block with the quickness. You call on my page
00:37:51.240
with some bullshit, bro. You'd fucking never be on it again. Yeah. And I will.
1.00
00:37:54.540
That's if the people don't get you first. Yeah, that's right. And I will recipient. Yeah. No
00:37:58.480
shit, bro. Maybe I shouldn't do that ever. Just let the people handle it. People don't
1.00
00:38:02.000
get you first. My people are fucking vicious. Yeah. I mean, look, I mean, just for, I mean,
1.00
00:38:05.940
for example, but dude, I meet, I meet, you don't want to perform, huh? Purple form
00:38:09.700
will get you purple pig form will get you. Oh yeah. No doubt. You don't want that. Uh, but
0.58
00:38:16.500
dude, I will meet your motherfucking energy just so you know, like, and I'm wittier than
0.99
00:38:22.280
you. So just be ready. It's great, man. It's a damn good time. Like I said, dude,
0.99
00:38:26.360
what a time to be alive, man. What a time. Uh, with that being said, guys, we do appreciate
00:38:30.680
you for being real ass fans. Of course. And I want to say like for real, dude, it just,
0.89
00:38:35.300
I just really appreciated all the love, dude. Real talk. It was awesome. No, it was, it
00:38:40.740
was awesome. Um, yeah, let's get back to our cruise time to go global. What boat we
00:38:47.320
taking? We taking your boat? I'm trained. Dude, DJ and I were sitting on my porch the
00:38:55.020
other day, smoking cigars. And I said, well, we get yachts. What are you going to call
00:39:00.360
yours? Fucking said, you're going to call it unchained. I mean, that's fucking sick
1.00
00:39:06.260
though. That is fucking sick. I can imagine if I'm fucking pulling it up. Just fucking
1.00
00:39:11.960
broken chains, man. You know what I'm saying? It'd be sick. I'm listen, I'm doing it. I know
1.00
00:39:16.220
you are. I'm fucking doing it. Yeah. Um, headline number two, though, man, we got
0.99
00:39:20.140
to go global. Let's go to, um, there is some tensions. All right. The waters are
00:39:25.200
murky. Where? Okay. India, India and Pakistan. Yes. Yes. I said, I'm going to be
1.00
00:39:34.400
good this episode. All right. Nothing. Is it true? Are the waters murky? No comment.
00:39:41.300
I took Z for a ride in R8 today. Did you? That was amazing. Yeah. I tried to let him
00:39:51.660
drive it, but he wouldn't do it. No, I don't want to mess up your car. It's been a long
00:39:55.560
time since I've driven a stick shift. Well, I mean, it's a good time to learn, bro. One
00:40:00.800
of my favorite cars, though. Yeah. We ripped it. You did? Yeah. Did you? Yeah. That was
00:40:07.960
the funniest part. You can hear it in the building? Yes. It's a loud car. People heard
00:40:11.680
it in different parts of the building inside. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's
00:40:15.980
go, uh, let's, let's go check on our buddies. We got some good friends over there in India.
00:40:19.940
We got great friends in India. I like India. All right. Um, and, and listen, India is ready
00:40:24.960
to fucking make the moves. You know what I'm saying? This comes out. Pakistan claims it has
1.00
00:40:31.000
credible intelligence. India will strike within 36 hours. Strike Pakistan? Yes.
00:40:37.960
Listen, this, this shit's getting heated. All right. It's getting real. All right.
1.00
00:40:41.860
There's some real stuff going on. So tensions between India and Pakistan has, have escalated
00:40:48.400
further, uh, after a top Pakistani official claimed early Wednesday to have credible intelligence
00:40:54.000
that New Delhi will carry out a military action against Islamabad within the next two days.
00:40:59.740
The claim came as both United States and China urged restraint. So what happened? Well, I did
00:41:06.740
see a video. I go ahead and finish. I'll tell you what I saw. Yeah. What, what, what happened?
00:41:14.200
Like what, what got these two countries? Because there's always been tension. Zima, right? Like,
00:41:18.180
like India, they've always, aren't they, aren't you guys like cousins? No, I'm being serious.
00:41:23.920
Like same kind of people, right? Pakistan was a part of India before they declared independence.
00:41:29.600
Yeah. And it was basically that happened because of religion differences. Like how here in America,
00:41:35.780
we are majorly divided because of democratic and Republican values over there. The division
00:41:41.460
is geared because of religion. And that's one of the driving factors of the main two political
00:41:47.920
parties that quote unquote rule the country. And that's Islam and Hindi, right? Hindu. Hinduism.
0.89
00:41:54.160
Yeah. Yeah. Um, but there's always been tensions there, right? The water has always been murky.
00:42:02.200
Um, I don't know if it's always been, it's always been murky for a long time for thousands
00:42:10.160
of years, maybe, but not forever. If we go far enough back, I'm sure it was nice at one point.
00:42:17.160
Yes. Calm and clean. I mean, not clean, not clean. I didn't mean to say clean. What, what got,
00:42:23.200
what, what's, what's the new tensions about? Okay. Because this is actually really fucked up,
00:42:26.800
uh, story of what happened. There was a terrorist attack in India. Okay. Dozens, uh, killed his gunman
0.99
00:42:34.160
massacre tourist in Kashmir beauty spot. Um, and dude, it's so crazy. Like there was a, there was a clip
00:42:39.720
of a guy on his zip line. So like, I guess it's like a park, right? And there was a guy doing a zip
00:42:44.860
line and he's like videotaping himself. And like, as he's going by completely oblivious to what's
00:42:49.160
happening underneath, like there was a fucking massacre underneath him. Um, 26 people were killed.
0.99
00:42:55.680
Um, at least 26, dozens other, uh, injured. There was reports of like the gunmen were going around
00:43:01.420
having people pull down their pants to verify if they were like, like Hindu, uh, or Muslim because
00:43:08.220
Muslims circumcised, uh, circumcised themselves and, uh, Hindus do not. And it's like, they were
1.00
00:43:13.680
targeting Hindus. Um, so a racist terrorist attack. Um, and so that's kind of what really kicked it up.
0.81
00:43:20.480
And India immediately went to blaming and saying that the, the, the attackers had some sort of
00:43:25.940
connection to Pakistan. All right. Um, and so then, uh, the minister of defense from Pakistan came out
00:43:33.660
with this clip, this video, let's check this out. Pakistan has credible intelligence that India
00:43:40.320
intends carrying out military action against Pakistan in the next 24 to 36 hours on the pretext
00:43:48.880
of baseless and concocted allegations of involvement in the Pahal Gaam incident.
00:43:55.840
Indian self-assumed hubristic role of judge, jury, and executioner in the region is reckless
0.77
00:44:03.120
and vehemently rejected. Pakistan has been the victim of terrorism itself and truly understands
0.72
00:44:11.120
the pain of this scourge. We have always condemned terrorism in all its forms and manifestations
00:44:19.280
anywhere in the world. Being a responsible state, Pakistan open-heartedly offered a credible,
00:44:28.000
transparent, transparent, and independent investigation by a neutral commission of experts to ascertain the
00:44:36.080
truth. Unfortunately, rather than pursuing the path of reason, India has apparently decided to tread the
0.97
00:44:43.520
dangerous path of irrationality and confrontation, which will have catastrophic consequences for the
00:44:51.520
complete region and beyond. Evasion of credible investigation is in itself sufficient evidence
00:45:00.080
exposing India's real motives. Consciously making strategic decisions hostage to public sentiments
0.74
00:45:08.880
purposefully trumped up for securing political objectives is unfortunate and deplorable. Pakistan reiterates
0.99
00:45:17.280
that any such military adventurism by India would be responded to assuredly and decisively. The
00:45:25.360
international community must remain alive to the reality that the onus of escalatory spiral and its
00:45:33.120
ensuing consequences shall squarely lie with India. The nation reiterates its resolve to defend the
00:45:41.040
sovereignty and territorial integrity and territorial integrity of Pakistan at all costs. Pakistan,
00:45:56.160
Listen, it's wild, all right? And there's been like- So this was over a mass shooting? Yeah.
00:46:00.160
When did that happen? It was a terrorist attack. April 20th? April 23rd, I believe, actually.
00:46:04.400
Do you have the video of the zipline thing? No. Oh, no. April 22nd is when, uh, is when it happened.
00:46:12.320
I thought this was, uh, what do you have more on this? Yeah. I mean, like, I mean, it's been,
00:46:16.320
it's been, it's been getting heated, all right? There's, there's, uh, like there's sources saying,
00:46:21.360
um, that along some of the border shots have already been starting to get exchanged between both sides.
00:46:26.160
Um, that was an interview. Um, let's check this clip out real quick.
00:46:30.080
Burn you Pakistanis to death. Go on. Bring it on. Yeah. You will not be given the grave.
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00:46:38.560
You will be given fire. We are going to burn you to the ground. We are going to burn you to ashes.
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00:46:45.040
How many bombs you have? If you have 200, you have 250. I give you my word.
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00:46:48.000
You bomb us 200 times. You will burn all of us. You will burn all of us. You will burn all of us.
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00:46:54.880
You don't have to be liable for taking the blood on the ground. You will go to the mosque.
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Full context. This is, is this how it goes over there, bro? Is this how you guys do shit?
00:47:08.560
I kind of like it though. They're both in London while this is, yeah, but why don't they just fight?
0.99
00:47:12.880
Right. So the guy on the left, I'm, I'm trying to loosely translate. He's saying that you don't
00:47:17.760
deserve to breathe the air on this earth and we will, uh, not only nuke you, we'll fire you and just
0.99
00:47:26.240
remove your existence. Yeah. You will get no grave. Yeah. That's what he's trying to say. But yeah,
0.99
00:47:31.520
this is sometimes this is how the debates on, um, new channels. That's how they go. I like this.
00:47:37.920
Yeah. No, they get super fiery. This is how it should be. Yeah. Fuck you. And then, yes. And
00:47:43.040
then you make the leaders fight. That's how, that's how it should be. Instead of sending all of us
00:47:49.280
that fuck what you got to do with this shit, right? Like you guys send your, I mean, I'm sure in every
1.00
00:47:55.440
country, you know, they send their regular people to go fight these things because these
1.00
00:48:01.040
motherfuckers can't get over their dick measuring. These dudes should fight. Exactly.
1.00
00:48:05.680
Hmm. Well, I mean, like I said, figure out how many people die because of the egos of these
00:48:10.720
leaders. Yeah. There's nothing strategic to gain here. This is fucking ego shit. And we're going to
00:48:17.040
sit. Well, you got to send your fucking, your, your, your fuck. Not only that, there's the same
1.00
00:48:23.120
everywhere. It's been the same for a thousand years. Correct. And not only that, there is a very
00:48:28.000
strong undertone of extreme extremism because of religion. Yeah. That's the main undertone factor
00:48:38.000
between the problem with India and Pakistan. What's the conflict in religion? I understand
00:48:42.480
they're two different, but like, like, so we, we can't tolerate other religions. No, it's not that
0.97
00:48:49.520
actually. So I'll tell you, it's the, basically the same thing everywhere. Like how here, if you'd go
00:48:55.280
out and talk to common people, they're all cool, regardless of where you come from, same, same
00:49:01.200
everywhere. It's the political agenda and the things in the news. And the main thing is because
00:49:07.600
Muslims eat beef and in Hindu religion, a cow is considered a sacred animal is often tied
00:49:14.960
of very high religious importance to a lot of gods. Okay. And there are some states in India where
00:49:21.200
eating beef is illegal. Okay. So that's the main undertone. So let's have a thousand year feud
00:49:27.440
over fucking steaks. Exactly. Yeah. I would. And, and I know you would. I'm so sorry. Yeah.
1.00
00:49:33.520
Well, you're not, you're not Hindu. It's fine. No, but the, but how we, we get it done here. It's the
0.99
00:49:38.640
same thing over there. The people in the leading positions in the politics know this and they gear
00:49:43.120
it purposefully. Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's what it is. It's so basically, so basically India said that
00:49:48.400
Pakistan tried to redeem some shit. India is like, do not redeem. You know what I'm saying?
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and Pakistan is like, we didn't redeem shit, but we will redeem if we got to, you know what I'm saying?
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Here's what I think. So we're going to send all our men to die over a motherfucking cow.
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00:50:17.120
That's that. How's that make sense? Yeah. I mean, listen, it does it, but both sides are heated right
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00:50:25.440
now. I know. Okay. And I saw a very, I saw an almost, I saw it almost go down, bro. Well,
00:50:31.520
listen, they've been pumping out fucking like military propaganda videos and stuff from both sides.
0.98
00:50:36.000
Yeah. Um, I got, I got an example of both sides for the show, for your context. So this is, uh,
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what came out of Pakistan. Um, let's check this clip.
00:51:08.400
so well, there's no secret as to why the United States kicks the fuck out of everybody.
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00:51:34.040
and he hits it with the fucking back of the gun
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I saw a video of how this was gonna go down though
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I would like to get in on that dance battle
0.99
00:57:57.780
but it's because they have a large Hindu population
01:26:01.640
and like you're the fucking ruler of the world
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01:29:35.480
But we did drink the biggest beers I've ever seen in my life.
01:29:39.480
And then we went on this thing called Mike's Bicycle Tour.
01:29:51.480
And then, so they give you these beach cruisers.
01:29:54.480
And they basically take you on a tour through Munich.
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Shout out to Mike's Bicycle Tour over there in Munich.
01:30:06.480
So we went on the bicycle tour and we were already drunk.
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01:30:11.480
And it's like you go with like a group of people and you ride the bikes through the parks and shit.
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And the first stop was another beer house.
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Like a, so we stopped, we drank more beer.
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And have you ever ridden a bike when you were just shit-faced?
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So, so the bike that we had were like beach cruisers.
01:30:45.480
So like imagine like the silver fender on the back.
01:30:52.480
So I'm like, we're riding through the park and like we ride through this area of the park and there's these dudes surfing in the, in the, there's like this little river that it's got like a, it's got like a natural area for them to surf and shit.
01:31:11.480
And, you know, there's like this woods and, you know, we're riding through the woods and me and my buddy Gavin, we're like trying to pop wheelies and shit.
01:31:20.480
So I'm like trying to pop a wheelie, not really paying attention to like what's going on on the left or the right of me.
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And we hit in this open field and there's fucking people, bro, like hundreds of people on the left, hundreds of people on the right.
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01:31:34.480
And I finally got a wheelie and the fender hit the ground and I fucking crashed.
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01:31:40.480
But, but the, the wheel got fucked up so I couldn't ride the bike.
0.93
01:31:44.480
So like right in front of all of these people, like, and they're fucking laughing cause they see me eat shit.
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01:31:53.480
And then I grabbed the bike and start carrying it.
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01:31:55.480
And then I like, look, and everybody's fucking naked.
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01:32:01.480
And it was like, we were in the section of the park where all the nudists were.
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01:32:05.480
So I had to like do the walk of shame with the fucking bike shit face.
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01:32:09.480
And there's all these naked people fucking laughing at me.
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Like it's the only time in your entire life where there's gonna be hundreds of naked people laughing at you.
01:32:28.480
Well, these people were not attractive naked people.
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They were like bratwurst eating, beer drinking, pretzel downing beasts.
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But that was my, that was my famous story from Munich.
01:32:49.480
And they revolve their culture around great beer and great food.
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01:32:55.480
I'm telling you, it's really cool because you go to the beer, the beer gardens.
01:32:59.480
And you sit at these, you know, long tables and you don't know anybody else.
01:33:08.480
And like, you learn about people and make some new friends and drink beer.
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It's not like here where like people are like, you can't sit at our table.
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01:33:25.480
That looks like a, he could, he got some big hands.
01:33:51.480
I thought that was Calvin's got a sweet fucking beer garden outfit.
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01:33:58.480
It's fucking, he looks badass in it, dude.
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Bro, we'll go to AB's fucking beer garden.
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There's a fucking Hofbrauhaus across the river.
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That's the, like the most famous beer garden in Munich.
01:34:46.480
I'm, I'm, you know what, you know, finger blasting.
01:34:54.480
Even those that don't like finger blasting, like finger blasting.
01:35:01.480
You know, all the women are like, looking at these dudes like, oh, oh.
01:35:23.480
They're like, my husband won the finger blast competition.