875. Q&AF： Making Moves Without Pressure, Handling No Man's Land & Cutting Distractions
Episode Stats
Summary
In this episode of the Realists, the guys talk about the new movie batman and how it sucks. Also, we have a new call-in question from a listener and we answer it and give you the answers!
Transcript
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what is up guys it's andy purcell and this is the show for the realists say goodbye to the lies
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the thickness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today
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we have q and af that's where you submit the questions or call in and we give you the answers
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now you can submit your questions a few different ways the first way is guys email these questions
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into ask andy andy for cello.com or you go on youtube in the comment section type your question
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right in there or you go down there under the youtube video click the link and you can uh
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apply to call in live on the show all right pretty cool we like it
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all right so if you're new which a lot of you guys are every week um we have shows within the
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show tomorrow we're gonna have cti that's cruise the internet as we talk about what's going on in
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the world we speculate on what's true speculate on what's not true and then we talk about how we the
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people have to solve these problems going on in the world uh other times we're gonna have real talk we
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got more of those coming uh we're gonna we're gonna get serious now we're gonna start staying on track
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uh you know we can't have a podcast without being professional about it because we're professional
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podcasters so we got real talk and then we have 75 hard versus 75 hard versus is where someone who's
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completed the 75 hard program comes on the show they talk about how their life was before how their
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life is now and how they use the 75 hard program to get their shit together all right if you're unfamiliar
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with 75 hard it is uh the beginning phase of the live hard program which is the world's most famous
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mental transformation program ever and uh it's available for free at episode 208 on the audio
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feed only again that's 208 on the audio feed only um it's not on youtube because we were on audio for
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basically you know seven years before we ever jumped onto youtube so most of our listeners on audio and
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we don't have it on youtube so that's what's up uh what else what am i missing here um there's a fee
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there is a fee yeah the fee is very simple uh oh there's a book you can buy called the book on
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mental toughness at andy for cella.com it is the entire live hard program plus a whole bunch of other
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chapters on mental toughness why it's important how to use it in your life and then we have uh what were
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you saying we had i'm tired bro the fee the fee is very simple we don't run ads on the show
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i uh don't take money from other companies to tell me what i can and can't say and uh very simply
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we need you to help us grow the show all right man uh i know a lot of you we have a massive massive
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massive audience on audio and we're getting there on youtube but uh guys please do us a favor and uh
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help us grow the show all right don't be a hoe all right so what's up man monday morning monday
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morning monday morning getting to the warriors man yeah what movies i found warriors oh that's
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that's the name of the movie yeah i've never seen that one i've never seen it i'm not surprised you
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haven't seen it is it good what is it is that basketball movie futuristic gangsters man what do
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i don't know if i like those uh those like sci-fi future gangster movies did you guys see that movie
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that's out now uh with uh broke back mountain oh yeah i saw you were in it the sequel yeah just broke
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yeah oh shit man what's that movie out right now with tom hardy it's on fucking netflix
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oh um no it's not anyway i don't know the name of it but i like tom hardy yeah i do too but the
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movie sucks did it yeah it's fucking terrible it's like just this it's just i don't know whatever man
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anyway yeah that's neither here nor there yeah we got warriors lined up we got warriors lined up to
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call into the show today so let's let's get started man yeah well let's get started with uh
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won't be a phone call though we gotta write in there's another warrior though uh you got a new
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listener oh really a new listener are they are they happy or are they angry no they're happy yeah
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let's get some of these angry people to call in let's get the angry people to call in on cti i did
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have a batman somebody batman reached out batman yeah filled out a thing what did he send the
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fucking bat signal to you no i mean literally what he was talking about he's what he says yeah something
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about gotham need saving or some shit okay yeah so he's a weirdo yeah for sure got it all right
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batman yeah yeah we get him every now and then be careful what you say about batman
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why fuck you up it's batman batman can't fight we talking about bro batman is the ultimate fighter
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he's not even a superhero he doesn't even have special powers he kicks people's asses he trained in the
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at the top of a mountain peak with like tibetan monks that know all the secret sauce yeah and he
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became badass bro i'm gonna be batman one day you guys won't know it though it could be batman
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well i mean so like is that fucking batman wait who said this years ago no well no one gives me
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credit for the things i say anyway so what the fuck does it matter everybody just acts like i didn't say
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it like i fucking say all this shit wait years in front of all these influencers and then somehow
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they get the credit for saying it yeah it happens joe and i were talking last night that maybe they
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get the credit for saying it because they don't curse the way i curse oh is it the cursing i don't
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know but like all these people that they're talking about i said this shit years ago yeah and they say
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it just without yeah see that's why people gotta you guys gotta have our backs bro like you need to
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straighten these people out be like bro these boys been saying this way before you with cursing
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yeah colorful language colorful language you always make color and everything else that's right and a
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diverse crew yeah that's it all right well let's make some people better today all right let's do it
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i got some good ones for you man um let's knock them out we got a question number one hey andy
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i'm a new listener uh to your content and i literally can't get enough i came across your content
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on tiktok and you are the real deal here's my question every breakthrough i've ever had came
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right after i hit rock bottom after the breakup the layoff the health scare i don't understand why
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it takes me falling apart to finally take action why can't i make moves when things are calm how do i
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learn to grow from clarity instead of collapse okay that's first of all this is a great question
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because many many many people struggle with this they they they think that when things are going good
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that they've caught some sort of like vibe or you know they've caught some good energy and things are
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just going good and yeah that does happen automatically sometimes through your life but very high
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achieving successful people they don't they don't allow themselves to fade back to the crumbles you
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know what i'm saying so usually what's happening here is that if you look backwards and you see where
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you are today and you look back for the 30 60 90 days before you are in a good spot you will see that
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you were behaving in a way that produced this good spot in some way shape or form okay you might not
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have been doing everything right but you were doing something right um and it led to a position
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where things felt like they were going well for you and that might be the previous 90 days that might be
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the previous year it depends on how high or how low you are but what happens is is that when things
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start to curve up and we start to get to you know where things are good and we start looking around
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we're like man everything's going good you know the actions that we take are not the same as the
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actions that we take to dig ourselves out of the shit all right so what we have to realize and what
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this person needs to realize is that you are the result of your own decisions and your own actions
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even when you aren't conscious of the actions that you're taking and so what we need to develop here
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is a level of awareness to where when you feel like things are going well you should automatically
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start to do more of the things that got you to that point that's the that's the opposite of what
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most people do most people get in a position where they're making money things are going well
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um you know maybe they're at the top of their fitness game and then they're like oh everything's good
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and they stop doing the things that got them there and they start to drift down you know in in success
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in business in your career uh even as an as an entrepreneur or an intrapreneur what happens is
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is you know when you're at the bottom bro you don't you're like fuck my life sucks i'm not making any
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money my relationships are terrible i'm not happy i'm depressed i gotta do something different to get
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myself out of this and so you'll start to take an active role in your life that starts to produce an
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incremental increase towards the way that you're trying to go but when you're at the top or the
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perceived top like oh things are great i'm making what i want to make people let off the gas and they
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don't continue to do the things that moved them out of the place when in reality when you do find
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yourself when things are well that's where you really need to audit yourself because our natural reaction
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as humans is to get comfortable and to be like oh everything's good things are going well and when
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you don't have the awareness to understand that you're in control of your own momentum by creating
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it yourself it feels like oh the universe or you know uh the mystical powers that be are somehow
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punishing me or i you know there's a there's we start to like throw the responsibility off to other
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things and so what we need to happen here for this person is we need to understand that we are
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in control and whatever life we are living now is a result of our actions in the past okay so we see
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this a lot in business owners uh where you know things start to get well and they start to think
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fuck i'm so successful everything i touch is going to be great doesn't matter if i show up anymore
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it doesn't matter if i'm early or if i stay late it doesn't matter if i do these meetings it doesn't
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matter in fitness if i eat well because i'm already in shape i can have a couple days off i can go on a
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vacation and then what happens is you start to go back down okay and this is totally within your
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control this is with in every single one of you guys are in control of this process and so when you
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find yourself when things are going good that's the time to really audit what you're actually doing
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because when things are good we don't have that desperation or that urgency to do the things
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that dug us out of the low place and so what happens is people tend to go up and then they
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go down and then they go up and then they go down and then they go up and then they go down and they
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live their whole life like that truly successful people do not change the ownership or the actions
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or the urgency depending on how they feel that day they execute no matter what when things are good
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they come with the same urgency as when things were shitty and they had to get themselves out of it
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and so what that creates is a curve that instead of cresting and going back down it just continues to
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go up all right and this is what successful people do and it just really takes some awareness and some
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understanding that we are in control of our momentum if you are in a terrible place right now if your life
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sucks right now and you're waiting around for things to get better that's not what you should be doing
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that's not how it works you need to take action you need to control what you could control which is
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your food what you put in your mind how you move your body how much water you drink who you associate
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with the things that are in your control you need to execute on those in a positive manner just like
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this you know program that somebody developed that i might have heard of you know called 75 hard
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and then continue to do that even when things get good and that's the key to avoiding these ups and downs
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you have to continue to get better you have to continue to come with urgency you have to continue to control
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what it is that you can't control and you will avoid the dips now will you still have a little bit of a dip
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sometimes yeah because there's always things that we're dealing with that aren't in our control
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but the reality is is that you know i think off my experience you know 80 to 90 percent of the result
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that we have in our lives is in our control okay we can be fit no matter what you're saying there's
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very little that's outside of correct right right and most people think that everything's outside of
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their control and so it's a matter of awareness and ownership okay because if you are controlling the
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things that you control you can be intelligent you can be fit you can be productive you can get shit
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done you can be around the right people you can avoid negativity you can avoid things that that
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damage your progress like maybe alcohol or whatever your vices might be we are in control of those
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things and so the ultimate power that someone has to really cultivate and harness is the power of
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discipline so that they can adhere when things are not convenient but also adhere when things are
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really good and nobody talks about that because they think of it as a journey like once i get there
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everything will be good no they won't because you're going to stop doing everything that you do
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and you're going to fall back on your face which is what's exactly what this person is describing is
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there a silver lining here that this person can look at in the sense of like you know having to dig
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yourself out the hole well you know you got grit you got some you know i'm saying you can you can dig
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listen man everybody has problems yeah everybody gets low everybody gets their ass beat it's called
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fucking life all right and you have to understand that when you get punched in the fucking face
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and you're at the bottom it's probably because you're not controlling what it is you could have
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been controlling the whole entire time if you're honest with yourself and you audit yourself and you tell
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yourself exactly the way it is you're a realist about it you will see that the things that got you to
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the high point you are no longer doing all right and so you have to do them and people get really
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humble when things are bad and they get really full of their ego when things are good so when they're
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humble they're looking around they're saying oh shit fuck what do i do i don't know what to do shit
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this worked for me two years ago so i'm going to do this again which is the natural human response
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okay but then when they get to the top because we're stupid fucking humans we don't realize that we have
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to continue to do these things that got us going in the right direction in the first place so
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we're always going to face hardship we're always going to have things not go our way but the truth
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of the matter is is that you can minimize the dips and keep the progress going by just understanding
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that we are in control and and it's not up to you know the outside circumstances or the conditions
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or things that might happen bro things happen okay you're gonna lose a job you're gonna
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lose a partner people are gonna die you're gonna get sick your dog's gonna pass these are things
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this is called fucking life man it's not the end of your world and it's not your identity so as long
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as you can maintain the things that you're in control of you will be able to take those hits
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and continue to move forward now might you flatten out when you go through a hard time you get sick or
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you know your family gets sick or you deal with something serious yeah you might flatten out
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but if you continue to control the things by developing discipline and developing the ability
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to adhere to a program which is exactly what live hard and 75 hard teach you you will be able to
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avoid these big crashes that seem devastating you see what i'm saying absolutely man absolutely i love
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it i love it man it's a it's a listen it's just an awareness that we are in control of our outcomes
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because the things we are in control of produce the majority of our outcomes so it's very simple
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if you think about it like that most people don't want to take responsibility because it's easier to say
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this happened or that happened or it's not fair it's this or that or this bro you guys are all full of
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shit you're not fucking doing it if i went to anybody any motherfucker on the planet and they said
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oh it's not fair my life sucks this that and i audited their last six months i fucking promise you
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they have not been in control of things they can control that's reality and anybody who says
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different is full of fucking shit that is that is a complete fucking lie i'm not talking about extreme
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circumstances there's always nuance there's always things your whole family gets killed in a car crash
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okay that's fucking that's a nuanced thing that's an asterisk right but what i'm saying is
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is that in most cases that's true you're not doing what the fuck you could be so you have no right to
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complain about it brother that's so real to your point though it's also crazy like it that reflection
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only comes when you're down low man yeah it only comes when you're low that's because you're when
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you're at high you think you're the shit if you're honest with yourself it's when you know i got fired
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well why did you back back pedal it let's go back a little bit yeah you wasn't doing your shit that's
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right dude yeah that's right and you thought nobody was noticing and you thought that you could skate
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by and this and that because you were at one time really good you know that happens all the time bro
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listen i cannot tell you how many times i've seen that happen in business where the best performing
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employee the best performing business operator thought that because they were great at one time
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that they had unlimited greatness in front of them and they stopped sharpening their blade they
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stopped improving they stopped controlling and doing the things they can do and then then they're
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surprised when their business goes out of business or they fucking lose their job bro no one gives a
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fuck what you did yesterday i hate to break this to you i really do the world doesn't care what you
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did it only cares what you're doing now and you don't fucking have to be a rocket science to understand that
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it's just reality the world does not give a fuck what you did even if it was yesterday they care what
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you're doing now what result are you producing today okay and that is that's reality that's real
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that's how the world judges people it is it right i don't know but that's how it is i love it i fucking
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love it well let's get to our first call guys we got a uh our first call in here this is uh o'neal
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dj what's going on man o'neal what's the word my man hey man i was waiting here call nervously
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oh what's nervous for me what's up o'neal how you doing bro oh andy's an honor and a privilege to
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speak to you ah bro it's it's all good man what can we help you with brother well i've been
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listening to you consistently for 10 years i'm saying i'm a huge fan i love the show share with
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everybody i know everybody in my bloodline knows about you o'neal ain't no hoe i love that bro i love
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that man thank you so much oh thank you for all you do so real quick my question is so i have a
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commercial cleaning business and we're growing substantially all right we started in covid
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really ballsy move very risky but we took we went in ball's deep and went in
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and we've been we were doing really good at it that's the only way to go in isn't it
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it's unique because not everybody can do that you know what i'm saying yeah like you
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all right so what we got man so um yeah so uh i was doing i'm doing my cleaning business you
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know pass forwards uh three years in uh i lose the majority of my accounts you know covid
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goes down nobody wants cleaning etc etc so i'm here to end of my rope and i like you say
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your options mentality double down i say i'm not going to quit my income has doubled consistently
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for the last three years which was great from where i started off at but in the process i let
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go of my previous friend group you had an episode about this recently regarding loyalty to friend
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groups and i took that to the heart i slowly started to distance myself from my friend group and
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i literally have like no friends i'm afraid to you to lose the momentum that i have currently
00:21:25.880
in order to seek friendship what's your advice on that okay well first of all this is completely
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normal dude every single person who's ever built anything relevant goes through this okay we start
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out at the beginning with our friend group how old are you bro i'm 31 where am i dj and i are around
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the same age yeah you're older than dj you're probably dj's dad okay i think we might have the same
00:21:55.440
back so so check this out dude this is exactly the process of it's totally normal it's first of all
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there's i just want you to know this is normal i've been through it and you're going to go through
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it multiple times on your journey okay so here's how it happens you start out you have a group of
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friends and that group of friends is based around usually you know you just know them they they grew
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up in the neighborhood or you went to college or maybe you went to high school or whatever man and
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usually it's just social friends it's like you drink together you smoke together you hang out
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together you do fun shit together and when you start to get ambition and you want more for yourself
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when you first say it all these guys like oh yeah man that's awesome and some will say well dude were
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you sure are you are you sure you want to do that and it creates this weird dynamic because you're doing
00:22:51.180
something that all of them aren't doing and so what happens is when you start to go down the path
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the nature of business is so difficult it takes so much time um that people just don't understand it
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if they've never done it so then they start to get negative and they start to say well don't forget
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where you came from and hey you know i think o'neill you're you know you're getting a little too big for
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your britches and they say stupid ass shit and it becomes it becomes a drag okay and then us as
00:23:21.940
entrepreneurs we get blamed for it because we're trying to better our lives and we have to remove
00:23:29.220
ourselves from this negativity because we only have so much energy and what happens is the our old
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friend group while we still might love them and we still might care about them and we might always
00:23:40.860
be cool with them like i am so cool with everybody that i've ever had as a friend in the past but we
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might not talk every day we might not go to dinner we might not hang out i still love them but i don't
00:23:53.140
have the time or the energy or the will to waste my time because i have big vision big goals and that
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naturally creates this place of isolation and what i call no man's land and so there's there's good news
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here the good news is is that it's temporary okay so what's going to happen is the more success that
00:24:13.440
you have with your company you're going to start to meet some of these business owners who you know
00:24:19.360
you're doing these cleaning services for and you're going to have more in common all right these guys are
00:24:25.460
hustling these guys are working these guys have big goals and your new friend group and and by the way
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this takes time this doesn't happen in one day okay this could be a year this could be two years
00:24:38.760
it depends on how hard you're pressing to move forward but you'll find a new grant a new friend
00:24:44.700
group that has commonality shared interests and understanding of what you're doing because think
00:24:50.660
about this if you go back and you know all your friends are talking about what's going on with the
00:24:55.420
the sports game they don't have anything you don't have anything to talk about with them anymore so we
00:25:01.220
just kind of grow apart and dude that's part of life but you end up with this new friend group who has
00:25:06.600
all these things in common with you and by the way because they're on the same mission as you
00:25:12.140
they don't drag you back bro they will actually encourage you they will teach you things they
00:25:17.740
will connect you they will push you forward and it becomes a much more valuable um and fulfilling
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experience to be around friends who share the same goals and missions and the cool thing about these
00:25:32.440
friends is you know there's a saying that i like to use is busy people understand busy
00:25:36.480
people so you know they're not getting mad if you don't show up to the dinner and they're not
00:25:40.600
getting mad if you don't text them back and they're not saying oh you know o'neill you're you're getting
00:25:45.820
you getting too full of yourself dude you need to humble yourself they know that like when we hang
00:25:51.100
we hang and if you know we text each other we don't hear back for a couple days it's no big deal
00:25:57.200
and by the way i'm gonna stop right here and remind all of you guys that if you are a young
00:26:01.680
entrepreneur and you text someone and they don't text you back and then you you hit them with oh i
00:26:07.540
thought we were still bro nobody that's successful deals with that shit that is peasant behavior okay
00:26:14.140
if someone texts me and then i don't text them back and then they hit me with oh dude what have been
00:26:19.960
like some kind of guilt trip i will never talk to them again they're not my kind of people
00:26:23.960
so if you're a young guy or young girl remember that do not fucking do that to the people ahead of
00:26:29.840
you they will fucking cut you right out but anyway when you find this new friend group they're gonna
00:26:36.180
push you forward they're not gonna drag you back and if you continue to go down the path and you
00:26:42.880
continue to grow you're gonna go through the same process again all right because you're gonna outgrow
00:26:48.040
that friend group and and then you're gonna go back to being in the middle where you feel like you
00:26:53.120
don't really have any friends and then you're gonna find another leveled up friend group who can now
00:26:58.360
associate with you more so i've done this number of times through my life where the different stages
00:27:04.040
of business i had a different circle of friends and that's just the way it goes bro so you have to
00:27:12.320
understand dude this is normal it has nothing to do with you it's called life and as we grow we are
00:27:20.280
going to naturally disconnect with people who don't grow and connect with people who are growing and
00:27:26.280
bro let me tell you something that'll help you deal with this it's not like they couldn't have
00:27:30.960
went with you they could have went with you right okay so i know that if you listen to my show i already
00:27:40.420
know that you're probably a really good dude and you probably care a lot and it probably makes you feel
00:27:45.380
guilty and feel bad that you're moving on from this friend group but just remember they could have
00:27:52.520
went with you they could have went down that path and they chose not to and you have no obligation
00:27:59.600
and you should not feel guilty about taking care of yourself your family your future family if you
00:28:09.000
so what do you think bro that's exactly what i needed to hear because my my fiancee was telling
00:28:20.020
me this for years she's like distance yourself from this friend group they're holding you back
00:28:25.180
they're holding you back and you know me being a loyal guy i'm like no these are my boys we have
00:28:31.080
friends and for 14 15 no these are my boys you know they care about me and she told me once you
00:28:38.220
let this friend group grow you will get everything you want in business dude exactly what she said
00:28:43.780
that's a smart woman as soon as i distance myself as soon as i distance myself it's like i was trying
00:28:49.200
to swim with an anchor on my my feet as soon as i distance myself it's like i was on a speedboat
00:28:55.900
that's right bro that she's very smart woman it's good thing you you're probably probably good thing
00:29:01.460
that you're marrying her um look bro uh let me tell you something okay as men we all handle and feel
00:29:11.620
strongly about being loyal that's part of being a good man is you're loyal to your friends you're loyal
00:29:16.780
to your family but remember dude they need to be loyal to you too and they could have went or at least
00:29:23.780
they could have supported you um i'm friends with a number of people back from the old days who who
00:29:29.680
are just very supportive uh maybe they didn't go down the path but they supported and pushed you
00:29:34.040
and here's how you could tell they're not your fucking friends dude when they start trying to
00:29:38.980
gaslight you and guilt you because you're no longer loyal and you're no longer uh you know one of the
00:29:44.780
dudes and you forgot where you came from the motherfuckers ain't your friends dude those dudes will hold
00:29:50.520
you back they will ruin your life they will fuck up success and let me tell you the number one thing
00:29:55.500
that ruins especially men's business uh aspirations it's our feeling that we all naturally have of
00:30:06.900
loyalty it's the code right like we all live by we all know the code right hey these are my boys like
00:30:12.520
he's saying these are my boys i'm loyal to them listen you could still be loyal to them and be moved
00:30:17.920
you could still show up at 3 a.m if we got to bury a body bro you know what i'm saying like um but but
00:30:24.360
dude don't let them leverage that against you because the number one thing that i've seen really
00:30:29.620
hurt young men especially uh because i think men and women are a little different in this way i don't
00:30:34.680
i don't think women operate on that same code exactly the same way that we do um we sort of define
00:30:39.820
our our manhood by like how real we are and how loyal we are and so that's like always a touch
00:30:46.360
point of sensitivity for men and um and dude i haven't seen more people ruin their business
00:30:53.120
because they're loyal to the wrong people that either get them in trouble or or pull them down
00:30:57.760
or get them involved in some shit like bro we think about this we see this in sports all the time
00:31:02.960
we see young men come out of college and still hang with their old dudes when they've got 50 million
00:31:09.360
dollars in the bank next thing we know they're out of the league and they're in jail so
00:31:12.840
dude you got to let it go man it's just reality and and your your your uh fiance is a hundred percent
00:31:21.360
correct so yeah i should listen to her earlier that's all right man listen dude sometimes it takes
00:31:30.040
uh you know it's it's like you know when you listen to your parents versus listening to you like
00:31:34.460
your uncle right like you'll listen to your uncle but the same shit yeah that's right that's right
00:31:38.340
so dude oh hey real quick i just i just looked you up on ig bro we could be fucking related bro
00:31:45.500
let's just listen like bro just a little bit let's see real talk man like andy to take take a look
00:31:51.160
oh shit dude look like listen we do kind of look alike
00:31:56.480
you sure you're sure your father's not dominican
00:32:00.780
i don't know i don't know i don't know i'm not sure well neo bro i hope that helps you man
00:32:11.460
well yeah you help tremendously and i listen every single day and i do appreciate
00:32:17.840
taking the time your company is great thank you also your pb and j first home bar is fucking amazing
00:32:26.080
thank you bro i've gained like 10 pounds because of it thank you dude we uh we're we're blessed to
00:32:32.160
have really good people that work here i'm it's it's i'm living the dream here with these guys so uh
00:32:37.340
they work really hard to to do everything you know that we can do for people and it's really good to
00:32:41.600
hear that i appreciate it they have a great leader to guide them the same way the right way well thank
00:32:48.600
you bro do my best andy thank you so thank you so much for your time i appreciate you dj thanks
00:32:55.280
i'll see you at the family reunion thank you brother we'll talk to you soon
00:33:01.700
all right take care guys all right see you that's awesome yeah that's cool look dude that's a hard
00:33:09.000
thing man that's a hard thing because you know you know how it is it is touchy for us dude bro
00:33:13.840
exactly you know i will say this is a a rare thing that's actually happened to me recently like one of
00:33:18.860
my friend groups i got because i don't have many friends right but you know i'm your friend well
00:33:23.220
you're my friend yeah for sure but that's your friend huh no that's not my friend z shan's your
00:33:28.380
friend again z shan's my homie yeah you know i'm saying no but like i had i had a similar situation
00:33:33.500
where it's like i mean dude like we're just on different paths but it was almost like what was
00:33:37.400
understood didn't need to be explained like it wasn't this big like oh yeah call me back like bro we
00:33:41.460
just kind of you know yeah and we both just kind of like we thought we nod to it you know i understand
00:33:46.060
yeah it is what it is man it's cool listen dude this is something that okay when you're young
00:33:52.140
a lot of guys can relate to this with their families right like when you're young and you got
00:33:57.280
all these dude friends and shit and then they have a they get a wife and they start to have kids and
00:34:03.120
they don't have the time to hang out and you you grow a little apart but that doesn't mean
00:34:07.140
like dude i just reconnected with a buddy of mine who i hadn't seen matt mark way okay who runs a
00:34:14.400
a really fucking awesome business here in st louis they they build super high-end homes and i had
00:34:20.480
him build my duck coop uh which that's not even something that they do but he did it because
00:34:24.780
we're friends we hadn't talked to each other in like 20 years bro and we saw each other and it was
00:34:29.660
just like it was yesterday but that's because he's been living his life bro he's been doing and i've
00:34:34.660
been doing my shit and now that we've done our shit you know we're still doing it but now that
00:34:39.640
we've gotten through the the you know the the part of like building you know we're able to hang out
00:34:45.820
dude and it's just it's just the way it is man it's one of the greatest things that happened to
00:34:49.100
me this last year is reconnecting with him dude and see that they're they have they did go down the
00:34:53.400
path yeah just different but dude it's not even that it's just like his kid like he's got a he's got
00:34:59.380
a a son who's a stud playing football in nebraska um mac mark way like bro dude it's just life man
00:35:07.640
yeah you know i i didn't see him and i'm like hey why didn't you fucking talk to me for the last
00:35:10.940
20 years right what the fuck yeah what was that about you're not even real you don't fucking care
00:35:14.840
about me like dude give me your best friend call yeah yeah dude so it's just called life man and it's
00:35:21.980
hard especially as an entrepreneur um because there's jealousy feelings and there's you know you
00:35:28.520
start making a little more money you start driving a little nicer car you start dealing with a little
00:35:32.840
bit of jealousy from the people sometimes a lot comes in you know and then dude sometimes
00:35:37.420
those people from the old days will start talking shit and start trying to sabotage you and dude you
00:35:41.920
got to get away from them you know i'm saying one of the best things that entrepreneurs can honestly
00:35:47.180
is like move the fuck away from their from their city you know i'm saying i moved away for eight
00:35:52.720
years and i was able to focus and um i don't think i would have been able to do that if i stayed here
00:35:58.560
that's real that's real man that's real um love it man let's keep moving let's uh got another
00:36:05.200
question for you uh next question we got a write-in question um this question is uh question number
00:36:13.260
three hi andy my name is cody and i am 25 years old and i started a residential window installation
00:36:21.260
business four years ago now i've heard you say 24 25 25 start over is 21 cool yeah um i've heard you
00:36:30.440
say it's good to find a mentor who has gone through the path i wish to go as my business continued to
00:36:37.480
grow i now work very close with my mentor and our businesses continue to grow at a rate i didn't
00:36:43.280
really see possible um how is it that we can continue to navigate through the storm when both
00:36:49.780
my mentor and i are at stages in the game that we've never seen uh never been we recently got a
00:36:57.460
warehouse and neither of us know anything about running a warehouse our spectrum of the game has
00:37:02.640
changed and now we're take uh we take on much different tasks than before in that specific case
00:37:07.760
would i just find some sort of a warehouse manager like do i figure it out on my own do i reach out to
00:37:14.520
competition please help and thanks for your time well first of all bro uh different journeys require
00:37:20.500
different guides okay you're not going to learn from somebody who has never done the thing that
00:37:26.380
you're wanting to do this is why i talk about buying courses and hiring these internet people to teach you
00:37:32.760
how to build a company when they've never built one all right they don't fucking know then now they
00:37:37.040
might say they know but they don't they know how to make a funnel and why and pretend there's something
00:37:42.680
and then get you to buy it and it doesn't get you any value so uh again like i say often make sure
00:37:48.400
that you vet whoever it is that they have actually done the things that you want to do and in the
00:37:54.080
beginning you will find people who have done you know part of it and you can learn from those people
00:38:00.060
absolutely and by the way there's nothing wrong with paying for that there it's a if i could pay
00:38:07.100
to save fucking 10 years of my life i'm fucking paying whatever it costs that's 10 years you know
00:38:13.400
what i'm saying um so when you get to a point where maybe that first mentor you've exhausted which
00:38:21.760
is by the way that's awesome that's what you want to do great right but now it sounds like you both need
00:38:26.900
a new guide for the journey okay and so you have to find someone who has done these things before
00:38:32.180
um and you know could coach you through the process that's just part of understanding that
00:38:38.320
there's levels to it and uh you know the guy that you might be learning from the beginning and
00:38:43.280
sometimes bro the guy that you might be learning from the beginning is so far away from where the
00:38:47.740
fuck you are that like he has a hard time getting back to that because he's forgotten those things or
00:38:53.040
they're so second nature that he forgets that they're relevant you see what i'm saying yeah so
00:38:59.500
what's that saying it's like you've got more than you know where they go like well i mean dude you
00:39:04.800
know more than you forget or something no no you're talking about um like i've forgotten more than
00:39:10.080
you'll ever know right right yeah i mean like it happened that that does happen like you're not
00:39:14.780
gonna have elon musk come back and teach you how to fucking make a funnel you know how to you know
00:39:20.640
what i'm saying like so there is there's that all right but here's here's the other thing dude like so
00:39:27.700
my first thing is is that it's smart to use a mentor it's smart to invest in your education
00:39:32.720
you just got to make sure that the person that you're learning from has done the thing that you
00:39:37.720
want to do a lot of people say that i'm like they will say i'm totally against courses and this and
00:39:43.260
that no i'm against liars i'm against people who fucking make shit up or pretend to be something that
00:39:49.380
they aren't which is a lot of the internet right now and it's also very hard to tell uh if you don't
00:39:55.620
know the questions to ask but i can tell you if all you got to do is say have you has what have
00:40:01.360
they built what have they done how have they done it how long have they been doing it how many
00:40:05.040
customers they've served you know what's their product can i order the product what's what's it
00:40:10.140
like to use their product right do i recognize it do i not recognize it have i ever heard of this
00:40:15.040
you know all these entrepreneurs on the internet seem to have these secret businesses that no one can
00:40:18.880
see and have never fucking done business with oh i used to have this and i used to have okay
00:40:23.860
prove it prove that to me all right the internet is full of liars and it's very very important that
00:40:31.060
we understand that not everybody has a good heart there's lots of unethical people with that being
00:40:36.480
said find someone who's doing what you uh want to do learn from them model their behavior pay them
00:40:43.360
to teach you um and you'll be on the right path now the second part to that is when you scale
00:40:51.080
there because we don't know something doesn't mean that there aren't positions that you can pay
00:40:57.020
someone where they know it very well so if you were to hire a experienced warehouse manager they're
00:41:05.760
gonna know what it is that you don't know and do it for you for a fee so you just have to find the
00:41:13.260
right person that knows these things and you have to vet them and you have to make sure just like i said
00:41:18.040
about the coaches you have to make sure they've done it you have to make sure you know you have
00:41:21.980
to call their references see what they've actually done and uh you know our distribution and fulfillment
00:41:29.100
center here i didn't set that shit up my mike and fucking brian set it up right so like these these are
00:41:36.980
guys that had the knowledge that i didn't have and then they went and build it and i learned the
00:41:40.540
knowledge as we went you see what i'm saying how important is that too though like i think it's very
00:41:44.480
important to know a little bit about anytime i've ever not learned enough i've gotten take advantage
00:41:52.780
of so you have to you know know enough uh to not get and take advantage of so and that's easier than
00:42:00.180
ever right there's lots of information available for free about literally fucking anything go on
00:42:04.840
youtube and see a video on how to do fucking anything i can do open heart surgery bro dude i'm
00:42:08.940
just telling you yeah you can learn well you can learn enough about it to where you can have an
00:42:12.580
intelligent conversation right right so uh there are no secrets like that anymore uh because
00:42:20.600
everybody's making content there's much more information available the point is find get find
00:42:26.200
someone who's done it before i could answer this one one fucking sentence find someone who's done it
00:42:32.140
before pay them money to either do it for you or teach you how to do it that's what it comes down to
00:42:39.900
yeah it's very simple i love it man there's just because it's a complex problem to you
00:42:45.780
doesn't mean it's a complex problem you see what i'm saying like if i were to say hey i need to code
00:42:52.120
well i do know how to code now but if i were to say i need to code a fucking basic funnel website
00:42:58.540
three months ago i wouldn't know how to do that it would be mystical to me but fucking anybody who knew
00:43:05.020
this shit could do it in a fucking hour well wouldn't you say too there's an energy component
00:43:08.520
to that too like is it worth your energy actually doing yes absolutely that's another thing okay you
00:43:12.940
have to understand where your energy makes the most sense we call that working on the business versus
00:43:18.740
working in the business okay so he's growing to a point with his window company right residential
00:43:26.500
window installation to where you know he's not understanding about warehousing and things like
00:43:30.920
that you want to know enough but you want to focus on the growth of the business the running of the
00:43:36.660
employees the big picture thing and you want to hire professionals to handle those things for you and
00:43:41.600
you might not be able to afford it so you might have to do it for a while like when i first started
00:43:45.040
in my warehouse dude i was packing boxes me and sal chris jason we went out there every day at four
00:43:50.200
o'clock and packed fucking boxes there was a time at first form for years where it was me sal jason will
00:43:56.080
aaron and a couple other dudes in the backpack and box at four o'clock every fucking day okay and then
00:44:01.000
with the warehouse guys because we we fucking that's what we did um and i go funny enough those were
00:44:07.320
some of my favorite days of business um but simple problem to solve dude really is and just because
00:44:14.540
it's mystical to you let me tell you something dude i fucked my whole timeline up by not learning
00:44:19.960
this lesson this one lesson will save you years okay i didn't know my second store
00:44:24.480
until we were six years in and you know why because i kept telling myself they're gonna steal
00:44:31.000
from me how do how do i get how do i get someone to work for me you know they're they're probably
00:44:37.360
gonna do this and that and this guess what they did all that shit they fucking stole they fucking
00:44:42.780
fucked my shit up you know not them specifically but along the way that happened it's gonna happen
00:44:47.320
yeah so like these fears are irrational unavoidables yes and and dude had i just opened it the third
00:44:53.540
year we were in we'd be that much more ahead but i'd lost three years of my life asking myself
00:44:59.340
and struggling with the same question that he is yeah three years of my life that one the answer to
00:45:06.080
that question that i just gave is worth three fucking years of my life that's what it took me to learn
00:45:11.140
it that's so what's that worth yeah what's three years of your life worth you know i'm saying
00:45:17.620
that's real man that's fucking real man but guys got one more question we got calling
00:45:22.420
another we do all right calling uh so let's give i hope i pronounce this right amyra
00:45:28.380
amyra amyra amyra amyra we'll hear it yeah we'll figure it out let's give her a call
00:45:33.220
i'll let you do the awkward part of figuring it out yeah go ahead
00:45:38.360
oh my god hey andy no not it it's dj can you hear me i'm in my car i got the car play on
00:45:50.520
we can hear you just fine can you hear us okay okay all right so me and andy made a bet i'm trying
00:45:56.300
to pronounce your name correctly amyra no damn it you already lost amyra yes it's amyra
00:46:05.060
i dare you guys to try to pronounce the last name i don't know if i should even share that
00:46:13.920
i don't even think it's there it's fine so what's going on how are you all right i'm good i'm even
00:46:19.900
better talking to y'all this is so nice i love the new format oh thank you yeah
00:46:25.920
so i don't want to eat up too much of your time i appreciate um you know you reaching out and
00:46:30.800
answering my question that's awesome uh you know my big thing is i i feel i'm very mature for my age
00:46:36.720
i'm 21 you know i've done a lot i've lived a lot of life i live on my own i've already graduated
00:46:41.540
college working full-time i'm doing acting but my thing is and i've seen you talk about this on the
00:46:46.800
show before you know i don't even have the instagram off of my phone i hate social media but i have to
00:46:52.620
have it for what i'm doing what i'm trying to do um the thing is it's like there's so much you know
00:46:58.060
excuse my language bs and noise and people lying and you know inflating themselves and i try to not
00:47:04.220
let it get to me but it's it's things like people will act like they're on some huge set for instance
00:47:09.120
and they're just a background person but they're going to act like they're next kevin hart like things
00:47:13.260
like this happen all the time so i guess that question for you is because i'm sure you probably have
00:47:17.260
had similar experiences in business coming up like how were you able to like get rid of that
00:47:22.600
energy and just focus your attention and keep going it's funny that you say that another thing or two
00:47:28.720
we were we were amira we were literally just talking about this in the last question before we called
00:47:35.800
you like it's it's so weird that this connected like that so first of all first of all i get it
00:47:42.800
right uh i i cannot stand these fake motherfuckers on the internet bro that all pretend like they
00:47:49.160
built shit or did shit selling all these young people bullshit dreams and things they didn't do
00:47:56.160
and and and taking their money when it's highly unethical to me because like look man these young
00:48:03.820
people are paying you sometimes their last amount of money to learn some real shit that they don't even
00:48:09.360
intend on teaching they just want to take the money and they do it through deceptive deceptive
00:48:14.280
marketing and i wouldn't even call it that just straight up lying um yeah so i get it dude and it
00:48:21.760
frustrates the fuck out of me and then i see you know so many of these dudes just dude i i totally get it
00:48:29.560
all right um here's the answer focus on your own shit all right these people i've been doing this so long
00:48:38.440
the people who were lying and faking and and pretending they're gone i've seen them come and
00:48:46.300
go and come and go and come and go 20 times over the last 20 years so this is just the we are going
00:48:55.880
to deal with these kind of people along the way who are going to pretend they're going to hype
00:49:01.000
themselves they're going to lie they're going to cheat they're going to pretend like things are better
00:49:05.640
than they are which by the way is the entire internet everybody pretends like they're living
00:49:09.340
this highlight reel and then as we're struggling to do what it is that we do we are feeling bad
00:49:16.700
about ourselves we're like oh we're not doing it as big as they are when we know they're full of shit
00:49:21.220
all right so still gets us though yeah but it does dude it's it burns you you're like fuck this guy
00:49:27.620
so here's the reality man those people come and go and the people who actually become something
00:49:33.720
in reality they focus on their own craft they focus on their own skill set they every time they
00:49:41.060
see something like this they just dismiss it as it's bullshit and like i'll tell you what i do what i do
00:49:48.500
is when i see shit like that and it makes me mad i do something immediately that's going to move me
00:49:54.480
more towards becoming the real deal okay not the fucking internet deal and so uh yeah look the
00:50:02.560
answer is very simple and it's hard to that's a hard discipline to learn because we all care a lot
00:50:09.180
about you know you're trying to become the best actress you're you know i'm assuming that you're
00:50:14.680
not trying to be you know d-roll commercials for fucking local car dealers right like you're trying
00:50:20.600
to be like you're trying to become a real deal actress and that requires you to practice to focus
00:50:28.120
to learn your craft and so when you see people doing this i would learn to transition immediately
00:50:36.040
like you start feeling upset and feeling frustrated i would learn to transition immediately to positive
00:50:42.780
action okay and what we call this is called a production pivot all right i was just gonna say that i
00:50:48.380
say i literally was gonna say that that you yeah you're reading my mind that's what it's called okay
00:50:53.160
so we we take in negativity and then we say fuck this and then we do something positive somebody hates
00:50:59.780
on you they talk some shit on you they make you feel a certain way you immediately use that as a mental
00:51:05.520
signal to go do something practice your craft read get in front of the mirror recite some lines talk to your
00:51:14.240
acting coach talk to your voice coach work on your shit if you play an instrument you go practice
00:51:20.540
so dude if we can if we can harness the negativity and pull it in and then put it out in productive action
00:51:28.820
that's a recipe for not just success but honestly dominance because there's so much negativity out there
00:51:36.860
you know we we are going to be faced as ambitious people with much more negativity than we are with support
00:51:44.640
people aren't going to believe they're going to doubt they're going to put things in our head they're going to
00:51:49.680
say things to us that upset us and if we don't learn to use the frustration and the doubt and the negativity
00:51:57.320
as a trigger to then go practice it's very hard to get where you're wanting to go and i know there's a lot of
00:52:04.100
people online to say uh prove yourself right don't worry about proving them wrong those people are
00:52:10.100
usually fucking called losers okay i'm just being honest very few people yeah can actually do this
00:52:16.940
without harnessing the majority of the energy that's out there which is negative so we have to be willing
00:52:23.680
to see it for what it is bullshit take it in put it out into action and then we get better from it
00:52:30.640
does that make sense awesome awesome that's good stuff yeah it makes total sense all right good
00:52:36.860
stuff yeah okay fuck those people dude yeah and you know i got it yeah no that you know the one that
00:52:42.760
drives me nuts are these influencers man oh my lord i know i know oh my god i won't say anything
00:52:49.900
about that but uh yeah no that's that's good stuff andy i appreciate it all right amira thank you so much
00:52:56.680
for supporting the show and it's uh it's a pleasure to talk to you just keep your keep your your goals
00:53:01.180
clear keep your actions clear spend your emotional energy on getting better and uh you know learn that
00:53:07.760
discipline of taking that negativity and and put in a positive action you're you're going to be just
00:53:11.700
fine wonderful well thank you so much andy it was a pleasure talking with you i'm so excited i can't
00:53:17.460
believe that like i just i love this new format i've been listening to you since covid and you've
00:53:21.960
honestly changed my life you know i appreciate you both all right listen we appreciate you thank
00:53:26.480
you so much for all the support of course of course y'all have a great day all right you too thank you
00:53:33.200
all right bye bye so dude that's that is something that anybody who is ambitious is especially i mean
00:53:45.220
dude we all deal with this in different ways i don't even know if it's just a bit like i've learned to
00:53:49.460
look at social media a little bit in a different lens just from the like i feel like there's you
00:53:54.100
know it's fake it's two groups of people yeah there's either like the over polished they're
00:53:58.400
showing you what they want you to see right or you got the the victim crowd that's gonna cry on every
00:54:03.860
post yeah because that's the only way they get attention that's it that's it you know i'm saying
00:54:07.380
so that's how i've learned to look yeah but then there's the third people who's the third like the
00:54:11.140
third people who take five years off of social media and build a fucking empire
00:54:15.000
you know what i'm saying yeah i like seeing that shit yeah that's what i'm saying and dude here's
00:54:20.520
the thing you know like you don't think that when i was taking time off social media i didn't see a
00:54:27.640
lot of these other entrepreneurs starting to catch up on social you don't think i saw their fake
00:54:31.500
engagement you don't think i saw them posturing like they were bigger than they are you don't think
00:54:35.640
i saw all that every time i fucking saw it i'm like dude fuck that and i went to fucking work
00:54:40.060
now we got all these different massive things happening and that's evidence my own story is
00:54:46.360
evidence of that if you've been following me since 2012 when i started you guys saw me grow the first
00:54:52.340
phase of our business when i stopped in 2019 to now it's flat we're in the we're probably in the fourth
00:54:59.040
phase okay and every time i saw one of these motherfuckers doing their bullshit like fuck that guy and i
00:55:07.060
went and did something and that's how things are produced so we have to learn we have to like like
00:55:15.780
people say this in a different way which i don't agree with they say don't comparison is the thief
00:55:21.560
of joy no actually you should get pissed off about the comparison and take that energy and go fucking
00:55:26.940
use it you know like when i see motherfuckers doing better than me that i don't think deserve it
00:55:32.180
quote unquote doing better that's right i'm like dude this dude couldn't hold my nuts in real world
00:55:38.320
you know what i'm saying and i fucking go do the thing the point is to do the thing not pretend like
00:55:43.880
you're doing a thing you know what i'm saying and there's very few of us doing the thing uh in this
00:55:49.880
world as opposed to just talking about doing the thing so i would rather be doing the thing and i think
00:55:55.380
amira would too and i think all of you guys would as well so don't get caught up in the illusion
00:56:01.380
of social media uh because you know and there is some there is some there's a lot of value in
00:56:08.580
building a tremendous social media presence but you need to leverage that into real business not just
00:56:13.820
you don't want likes and shares and uh comments for the sake of having them you want to be able to
00:56:19.020
leverage them and like dude if we're being real there's influencer fatigue you know people
00:56:23.520
like the the game has changed dude there's a big difference between attention and influence
00:56:29.840
attention is post every day use this hook do this thing fucking and there's nothing wrong with that
00:56:38.340
if you could leverage it into into a business but don't do it for the sake of doing it okay you want
00:56:44.580
impact you want depth you don't just want width and you want to be able to leverage it right so we
00:56:51.400
being an influencer for the sake of being an influencer is a cycle that people get into and
00:56:57.920
they can't get out of because now they're earning all their money from brands and they're doing
00:57:02.900
the same content as everybody else and then the brands don't want to work with them because they got
00:57:07.380
their profiles fatigued they can't reinvent themselves and they're and it happened dude they
00:57:11.940
start getting this they get into like the cycle they can't break out of and do you don't want to be
00:57:15.740
that you want to be somebody who is doing real things in real life and uh building your attention
00:57:22.620
from inward to outward not outward to inward you know i'm saying like meaning like you built something
00:57:29.580
you did something that's why you're getting the attention versus getting the attention and then
00:57:33.600
trying to harness you could do it both ways but most people have a very hard time of getting the
00:57:38.240
attention and harnessing it but if you build a thing and then that's that's influence because it's the
00:57:44.840
the fucking receipts are there yeah you know that's real man that's real so well guys andy that's a
00:57:51.220
hell of a way to start a monday yeah guys hey thanks for all the support don't be a hoe
00:57:58.740
went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a pole fuck a stole counted millions in
00:58:05.800
the code bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case close