Audio Exclusive 03： How True Winners Reward Themselves
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Summary
When is it appropriate to give yourself credit and reward yourself? How do you go about doing it right when you know you re not all the way there yet you re still making those fucking wins? And how do you reward yourself when you realize that you ve got a lot of work to do?
Transcript
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what is up guys it's andy frisella and this is the show for the real let's say goodbye to the lies
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the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we
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have audio exclusive number three this is fun i like doing this like these yeah these little
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saturday audio messages people are digging them too yeah yeah that's good talk our audience is so
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much bigger on audio i think it's just cool to like keep it at the roots you know i'm saying
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i pay homage i like it all right so what do we got today let's drop it on i mean i got a question
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for you man yeah you know and i know you you've addressed this in the past in different ways but
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but not not in this light i want to ask you one when is it appropriate to give yourself credit
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and then two how do you go about doing it right like when you've built everything that you've
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built at this stage or even just for the you know the small entrepreneur that's making those
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fucking wins how do you give yourself credit how do you reward yourself in saying it yes i did a good
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job but still staying focused on the path knowing you you're not all the way there yet rewarding
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yourself that's the question how do you do it i think that this is a very nuanced question and a
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very delicate line to walk when you are an entrepreneur or when you are trying to achieve
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anything whether you're an athlete or a musician anything people fuck it up all the time yeah they do
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because the truth of the matter is is that we are the result of our actions we are not the result
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of us just being some sort of special skilled talented blessed being that's not the truth the truth is
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it's inputs and outputs so when we consider the truth of our achievements we have to understand if
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we are humble beings that anyone else who had executed the
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tasks along the way that you executed at the same level that you executed them would have very likely
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produced a very similar result and that's where i see humility when i think about humility it is not
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stay humble in terms of like what your friends say from the old neighborhood or what the internet says
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when you show your new car oh remember where you came from you're getting a little too big for your
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britches you need to stay humble yeah i like i want to live like you motherfucker why don't you just shut
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the fuck up over there okay true humility is understanding that it's not you it's the actions that you take
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that produce the results okay and if you imagine a bell curve and this is actually the reason most people
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have problems maintaining a successful path in life okay most people err either to the point where they
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never give themselves any credit and they're always a piece of shit even if they're doing okay which is
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not good mentally or they err on the other side which is i'm the man i'm the best nobody can fucking
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touch me nobody's as good as me and both of those are bad and they're bad for different reasons when you
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underestimate yourself and you lie to yourself about being worse than what you actually are you
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demoralize yourself unintentionally and create a situation where it's not worth it to keep going
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because you can never break out of the cycle of thinking that you're shit and if you always think
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you're shit the universe is going to bring you that life that's what you're going to be delivered
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on the other hand when you think you're better than everyone and you think you know everything and you
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think you're the best that's ever been that leaves no room for improvement because if you're already the
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best and you already know anything how can you get any better if that space is already full so we don't
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want to be there and what most people do is they if you imagine a bell curve all right and a bell curve
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starts off on the left hand side is flat and then it comes up and it creates a curve and then it goes back
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down and trails off all right if you don't know what a bell curve is you shouldn't be listening to
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the show but here's what happens people start off on the left hand flat side of the bell curve and they
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don't know shit they don't know a fucking thing and because they know they don't know a thing
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they are willing to learn you know it's like when someone starts off in a new career
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hey i don't know what i'm doing tell me what to do okay do this do this do this do this do this
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you go practice all these things and you start to execute these things and you start to move to
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the right across the bell curve and you start to move up and you start to have a little bit of
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success and then you start to rise okay and now you're going up the curve and you start to get
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better and better and better and better and better and you will continue to get better as long as you
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practice the skills and execute the skills but for most people along the way what happens is
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is they start to believe that their execution of the skills is actually just who they are and so
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they cross over from i'm a result of the actions that i've taken to i'm a result of being born all
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right and what happened that's the hubris of our ego that's our ego saying we're the best we're the
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greatest we don't even have to do this other shit because we're still going to win anyway because we're us
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and what happens is is they start to crest on that bell curve and they get to a top they get to a
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peak and where that peak happens is different for everybody and some people never get to a peak like
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this because they continue to say okay i'm i don't still don't know much i'm just going to continue to
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execute i'm going to show up every day every day is day one i got a long way to go any of that sound
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familiar okay the reason i'm like that is because i don't want to crest out the way you crest out is
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when you start telling yourself hey i'm the best i i can do no harm i don't even have to do this other
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shit and what happens is you hit the peak of that curve and your ego starts to tell you a message
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that actually isn't true and you can tell it's not true because after that your results start to
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decline and so people start to go down the curve and now they're in this mode where they're like
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fuck i'm just on a losing streak it's no better it'll turn around and it's not until they get to
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the bottom of that curve on the right hand side again where they say fuck what happened okay and
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this is when their life is in shambles and their wife has left and their money has dried up and
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they they're not winning at work anymore and then they start to get humble again and they say fuck
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all right well what do i gotta do so they open themselves up again for more information and more
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learning and then they start to execute and then magically right like magically with quotations
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they start to move up the curve again and most people will spend their entire lives going
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up and down and up and down and it creates a wave of bell curves all right so we have peaks and
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valleys and peaks and valleys and peaks and valleys and the true winners the people who create the
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greatest things in the world who become the most impactful people in history who do things that
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no one else has ever done who earn more than everybody who build more than everybody who create more
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than everybody who become more than everybody else those people figure out that if they are going up
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the curve if they continue to execute and always keep in mind that it is not them but it is actually
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the result of the actions they are taking and they dedicate themselves to continue to take those actions
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and keep learning more and more and more and more they never peak so they keep moving up and up and up
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and up and up and they never round off the curve and come back down and that's the difference between
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greatness and pretty much everybody else so when we talk about rewarding ourselves it's a very fine line
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of how we want to do that because we don't want to tell ourselves we're too great because then we'll
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crest off the curve right and we'll lose sight of what got us there but we also don't want to tell
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ourselves that we're shit all right so we just got to be honest with ourselves are we doing well am i
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executing and the best way to do this is to rate yourself based on what you did today what did i do
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today did i win today or did i lose today tomorrow don't worry about what you did today worry about
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what you're doing tomorrow did i win today did i lose today this goes into the win the day method the
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power list that we talk about episode 16 if you haven't listened to episode 16 you should go listen to
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it because i have actually systemized this into a process that will keep you on the track
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of continuing to go up the curve without cresting off of it so when we think about how do we
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tell ourselves we're good or bad we just got to be honest you know and so like you asked me about me
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like when i'm feeling down because like i do get down all right you're human it happens yeah but i do get
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down because bro when you try to corral greatness into humility sometimes you get discouraged okay so when
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you're trying to be this great fucking whatever it is you're doing and you're also trying to remain
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humble but you're producing good results you have this propensity to compare yourself to bigger and
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bigger and bigger people so like if i compare myself to jeff bezos of course i feel like i'm
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fucking way behind right and that's a shitty feeling so dude when you know when i when i when i'm when i'm
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feeling down dude i gotta fucking tell myself what i've actually done bro i built a business worth 10
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figures i built a business worth nine figures i've built two number one podcasts i built the most
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popular mental toughness program that's ever existed in the history of the planet we've transformed
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hundreds of thousands of lives we've created thousands of jobs i'm invested in a whole bunch
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of other companies that are eventually going to become household names and these are things i've
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actually done so i have to sit down and actually be like wait a minute dude you're you're doing okay
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you've done this you've done this you've done this you've done this but then i let it go i i use it
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to bring me out of the of the low to where it gets me re-centered and i don't spend too much time saying
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i'm the champion and when i start to feel like i'm the champion that's when i look at bezos and i'm
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like bro you ain't doing shit you know i look at phil knight what he did with nike i'm like bro
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you haven't done shit you're a little booger on their nose just remember that so it's an internal
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dialogue that you have to like use to keep yourself in the rails and the honest the truth is is that
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when you're low tell yourself the good things that you've done acknowledge the good things and when
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you figure when you start to feel too good stop yourself and say wait a minute i got a long way
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to go you know like people will come up to me and they will say things like man congrats on all the
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success it's so awesome i'll say hey man got a long way to go okay that's my way of re-centering
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myself immediately so that i don't absorb that you see what i'm saying and and you know this idea
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of every day being day one because every day is day one because i'm not worried about what i did
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yesterday or the day before that and i'm not worried about what i did tomorrow i'm worried about did i win
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today and if you always worry about did you win today and you just win today every single day
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eventually your life is going to look like a win which is what that episode in the powerless system is
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all about so there's nuance to it sure and and it's a technique that you have to learn you don't
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want to be too high you don't want to be too low uh the truth of the matter is is that you know we've
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all heard this quote things are never as good as you think they are and they're never as bad as you
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think they are and that's the truth so we have to be honest with ourselves about our own feedback
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that we give and we have to be aware enough to know when our ego is actually taking control
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and then we have to tell ourselves the proper internal dialogue messages that help us stay
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centered because the truth is you know a lot of people will advocate for always building yourself
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up but that's not good either because if you always build yourself up and you think you're the shit
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and you're not actually shit you're gonna cap out no matter what because when you think you know
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everything and you think you're at the best how the fuck can you get any better you see what i'm
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saying so it's very important to stay balanced and most of the people who have been
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ultra ultra ultra successful in life they are very balanced people they don't they don't
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necessarily whip out their big dick and say this is what the fuck i've done at every chance those
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are insecure people right but when someone challenges them they might say hey i've done this shit fuck
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you right exactly so who the fuck are you you haven't done any of the shit i've done fuck you
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you know i'm saying every once in a while i gotta whip that out on people because i get a lot of
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these internet people that start thinking you know and i gotta be like oh really have you done any of
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this shit right you know right let me ask you this and i love this i love that how do you what
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do you say to people who have maybe been rewarding themselves with material things right is there
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something is it okay one is it okay to reward yourself with material things right like i mean you
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have a probably one of the best car collections for example right were those cars rewards for
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yourself that's they started out that way you know what i'm saying but now it's a passion right so
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it changes right yeah so how do you how do i mean i could tell you a story about every single one of
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those cars about something i did in my life that triggered me to go get it right yeah so it had
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definitely is like and that's a little game i play with myself when i do this i get this i do that i do
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this right you see what i'm saying um but material things is another another topic you know there's a
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lot of people out here who shit on material success and that's a very stupid thing to do because for
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some people they that's their whole driving force for what they're doing you know i was one of those
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people when i was when i was 17 oh fuck dude since i was eight i've been a huge car person i just tell
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the story bro i drew i saw a white lamborghini coontosh when i was eight years old and i didn't know what
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the fuck it was because it looked like a spaceship and we were in gas stations hey dad what's that
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my dad's like that's a lamborghini coontosh you could have one of those if you work real fucking
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hard i decided on that day no matter fucking what i'm having that all right and it changed the way
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i looked at life i no longer looked at like oh you know like i started i became outcome driven
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immediately and dude my whole childhood i had lemonade stands baseball car stands i sold
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light bulbs door to door i did all the shit i did everything i could to try and hustle you know within
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the realm of legal okay yeah no for real you know and uh and i wanted to become a businessman and i
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wanted to become an entrepreneur and anybody who was around me growing up will vouch for that like
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that was always what drove me um it wasn't sports it was business and uh you know so i grew up my
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whole life wanting to have this dream of owning cool cars and that dream having the dream of having
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cool cars carried me through the first 10 years of business the first three years of business i didn't
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get paid at all i worked other jobs to keep the store open and so did chris the next seven years
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we made 695 dollars per month for a total of 58 000 for the first 10 years okay so what the fuck do
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you think got me through all that time it was all of these material goals right and a lot of people
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will shit on people and they will say if you have material goals you're you're you're immoral or
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greedy you're greedy or you're materialistic but what they don't realize is that for some people
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these are the things that pull them through the difficult times when there is no results to
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encourage them so it's a very irresponsible thing that some of these guys do when they shit on material
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success because what you're doing is you're stealing people's dreams and saying those dreams aren't
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worthy when in reality what eventually happens is you grow and you you achieve those dreams and then
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you realize that it's not really about those dreams anyway at that point and once you get to that you
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get to a more mature place okay and i still love cars bro i'm never going to fall out of love with cars
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i'm a passionate car collector that's what i do and the community the culture everything about it i
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fucking enjoy and i'm passionate about so but what happens is is you grow to this place through the
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process where you start to realize that this isn't about you this is about the people around you and so
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now you know if i had if i had talked to one of these gurus who shits on material shit at five years in
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when i was making fucking no money and i'm struggling my ass off and they had convinced me that my dream was
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bullshit and i quit how many of these people that have we've provided thousands of fucking careers
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across the companies i own how many of those people would have that career fucking zero okay so we have
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to understand that we shouldn't shit on people's material desires because those material desires help
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drive them through the grind and then once they achieve them they usually mature to a different level
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where they become totally purpose driven and they become mission driven and driven to create for
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the people around them and produce for the people around uh them that have supported them so it becomes
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a totally different game like if elon musk had quit when he got his mclaren f1 which was in the late
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90s and said fuck i just got my mclaren we wouldn't have all this shit that he's doing you see what i'm
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saying there's fucking hundreds he probably employs hundreds of thousands of people you see right so
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that's bad that's right it's not bad people don't understand this you know there's there's a lot of
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you may not understand cars you may not understand any of this shit but you shouldn't shit on people's
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dreams because when you shit on people's dreams you're effectively canceling the better part of the
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result that happens because that dream pulls them through the hard part bro if someone if i if someone
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had convinced me to quit because they told me i was materialistic or that i was you know morally
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fucked up for wanting that shit bro how many millions of people who have done live hard wouldn't have
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done it okay hundreds of thousands of transformations through first form wouldn't have happened thousands
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of jobs wouldn't have happened none of these companies would exist this show wouldn't exist all you guys
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who have improved your life from the mfceo project that would have never happened you understand yeah so
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we're cut we're cutting off the bloom of the flower because we don't like the way that it's growing in
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the beginning that's not okay you know what i'm saying so um material things are definitely great
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to pursue and enjoy as long as you realize that in the big picture they don't really mean shit and
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eventually you're going to graduate from being someone who's driven by those things to someone who's
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driven to accomplish a mission or a purpose that involves the benefit of many other people and
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that's usually what happens to people most people don't stay in this materialistic mindset forever
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they evolve from it but if we kill them when they're in that phase in the just the beginning bro it's
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very irresponsible because we don't know what good's going to come of it later
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went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in
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the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed