REAL AF with Andy Frisella - February 24, 2024


Audio Exclusive 03： How True Winners Reward Themselves


Episode Stats


Length

19 minutes

Words per minute

196.53023

Word count

3,878

Sentence count

1

Harmful content

Misogyny

2

sentences flagged

Hate speech

34

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

When is it appropriate to give yourself credit and reward yourself? How do you go about doing it right when you know you re not all the way there yet you re still making those fucking wins? And how do you reward yourself when you realize that you ve got a lot of work to do?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 what is up guys it's andy frisella and this is the show for the real let's say goodbye to the lies
00:00:21.540 the fakeness and delusions of modern society and welcome to motherfucking reality guys today we
00:00:26.120 have audio exclusive number three this is fun i like doing this like these yeah these little
00:00:32.520 saturday audio messages people are digging them too yeah yeah that's good talk our audience is so
00:00:37.620 much bigger on audio i think it's just cool to like keep it at the roots you know i'm saying
00:00:43.020 i pay homage i like it all right so what do we got today let's drop it on i mean i got a question
00:00:48.500 for you man yeah you know and i know you you've addressed this in the past in different ways but
00:00:53.940 but not not in this light i want to ask you one when is it appropriate to give yourself credit
00:01:01.520 and then two how do you go about doing it right like when you've built everything that you've
00:01:07.600 built at this stage or even just for the you know the small entrepreneur that's making those
00:01:10.800 fucking wins how do you give yourself credit how do you reward yourself in saying it yes i did a good 0.63
00:01:15.920 job but still staying focused on the path knowing you you're not all the way there yet rewarding
00:01:21.760 yourself that's the question how do you do it i think that this is a very nuanced question and a
00:01:31.840 very delicate line to walk when you are an entrepreneur or when you are trying to achieve
00:01:38.320 anything whether you're an athlete or a musician anything people fuck it up all the time yeah they do
00:01:45.160 because the truth of the matter is is that we are the result of our actions we are not the result
00:01:52.460 of us just being some sort of special skilled talented blessed being that's not the truth the truth is
00:02:01.680 it's inputs and outputs so when we consider the truth of our achievements we have to understand if
00:02:11.200 we are humble beings that anyone else who had executed the
00:02:17.620 tasks along the way that you executed at the same level that you executed them would have very likely
00:02:27.380 produced a very similar result and that's where i see humility when i think about humility it is not
00:02:33.140 stay humble in terms of like what your friends say from the old neighborhood or what the internet says
00:02:38.880 when you show your new car oh remember where you came from you're getting a little too big for your
00:02:44.720 britches you need to stay humble yeah i like i want to live like you motherfucker why don't you just shut 1.00
00:02:49.600 the fuck up over there okay true humility is understanding that it's not you it's the actions that you take 0.85
00:02:58.380 that produce the results okay and if you imagine a bell curve and this is actually the reason most people
00:03:05.580 have problems maintaining a successful path in life okay most people err either to the point where they
00:03:13.460 never give themselves any credit and they're always a piece of shit even if they're doing okay which is
00:03:18.920 not good mentally or they err on the other side which is i'm the man i'm the best nobody can fucking 0.95
00:03:26.740 touch me nobody's as good as me and both of those are bad and they're bad for different reasons when you
00:03:32.960 underestimate yourself and you lie to yourself about being worse than what you actually are you
00:03:38.160 demoralize yourself unintentionally and create a situation where it's not worth it to keep going
00:03:44.940 because you can never break out of the cycle of thinking that you're shit and if you always think
00:03:49.440 you're shit the universe is going to bring you that life that's what you're going to be delivered 0.63
00:03:54.020 on the other hand when you think you're better than everyone and you think you know everything and you
00:04:00.460 think you're the best that's ever been that leaves no room for improvement because if you're already the
00:04:06.220 best and you already know anything how can you get any better if that space is already full so we don't
00:04:13.160 want to be there and what most people do is they if you imagine a bell curve all right and a bell curve
00:04:18.940 starts off on the left hand side is flat and then it comes up and it creates a curve and then it goes back
00:04:25.360 down and trails off all right if you don't know what a bell curve is you shouldn't be listening to
00:04:29.800 the show but here's what happens people start off on the left hand flat side of the bell curve and they
00:04:35.740 don't know shit they don't know a fucking thing and because they know they don't know a thing 0.97
00:04:40.460 they are willing to learn you know it's like when someone starts off in a new career
00:04:45.780 hey i don't know what i'm doing tell me what to do okay do this do this do this do this do this
00:04:50.420 you go practice all these things and you start to execute these things and you start to move to
00:04:55.580 the right across the bell curve and you start to move up and you start to have a little bit of
00:05:00.620 success and then you start to rise okay and now you're going up the curve and you start to get
00:05:05.440 better and better and better and better and better and you will continue to get better as long as you
00:05:09.440 practice the skills and execute the skills but for most people along the way what happens is
00:05:14.740 is they start to believe that their execution of the skills is actually just who they are and so
00:05:21.640 they cross over from i'm a result of the actions that i've taken to i'm a result of being born all
00:05:29.200 right and what happened that's the hubris of our ego that's our ego saying we're the best we're the
00:05:34.240 greatest we don't even have to do this other shit because we're still going to win anyway because we're us 0.74
00:05:38.880 and what happens is is they start to crest on that bell curve and they get to a top they get to a
00:05:44.340 peak and where that peak happens is different for everybody and some people never get to a peak like
00:05:49.100 this because they continue to say okay i'm i don't still don't know much i'm just going to continue to
00:05:54.920 execute i'm going to show up every day every day is day one i got a long way to go any of that sound
00:05:59.740 familiar okay the reason i'm like that is because i don't want to crest out the way you crest out is
00:06:06.160 when you start telling yourself hey i'm the best i i can do no harm i don't even have to do this other
00:06:12.380 shit and what happens is you hit the peak of that curve and your ego starts to tell you a message
00:06:18.020 that actually isn't true and you can tell it's not true because after that your results start to
00:06:23.720 decline and so people start to go down the curve and now they're in this mode where they're like
00:06:28.260 fuck i'm just on a losing streak it's no better it'll turn around and it's not until they get to 0.86
00:06:32.700 the bottom of that curve on the right hand side again where they say fuck what happened okay and
00:06:39.480 this is when their life is in shambles and their wife has left and their money has dried up and
00:06:44.220 they they're not winning at work anymore and then they start to get humble again and they say fuck
00:06:48.380 all right well what do i gotta do so they open themselves up again for more information and more
00:06:54.340 learning and then they start to execute and then magically right like magically with quotations
00:06:59.820 they start to move up the curve again and most people will spend their entire lives going
00:07:05.040 up and down and up and down and it creates a wave of bell curves all right so we have peaks and
00:07:11.420 valleys and peaks and valleys and peaks and valleys and the true winners the people who create the
00:07:17.700 greatest things in the world who become the most impactful people in history who do things that
00:07:24.400 no one else has ever done who earn more than everybody who build more than everybody who create more
00:07:30.340 than everybody who become more than everybody else those people figure out that if they are going up
00:07:37.080 the curve if they continue to execute and always keep in mind that it is not them but it is actually
00:07:44.180 the result of the actions they are taking and they dedicate themselves to continue to take those actions
00:07:50.200 and keep learning more and more and more and more they never peak so they keep moving up and up and up
00:07:56.020 and up and up and they never round off the curve and come back down and that's the difference between
00:08:00.580 greatness and pretty much everybody else so when we talk about rewarding ourselves it's a very fine line
00:08:08.820 of how we want to do that because we don't want to tell ourselves we're too great because then we'll
00:08:14.660 crest off the curve right and we'll lose sight of what got us there but we also don't want to tell
00:08:19.060 ourselves that we're shit all right so we just got to be honest with ourselves are we doing well am i
00:08:25.760 executing and the best way to do this is to rate yourself based on what you did today what did i do
00:08:31.680 today did i win today or did i lose today tomorrow don't worry about what you did today worry about
00:08:37.500 what you're doing tomorrow did i win today did i lose today this goes into the win the day method the
00:08:43.140 power list that we talk about episode 16 if you haven't listened to episode 16 you should go listen to
00:08:48.920 it because i have actually systemized this into a process that will keep you on the track
00:08:55.120 of continuing to go up the curve without cresting off of it so when we think about how do we
00:09:02.000 tell ourselves we're good or bad we just got to be honest you know and so like you asked me about me
00:09:09.420 like when i'm feeling down because like i do get down all right you're human it happens yeah but i do get
00:09:15.480 down because bro when you try to corral greatness into humility sometimes you get discouraged okay so when
00:09:23.580 you're trying to be this great fucking whatever it is you're doing and you're also trying to remain 0.65
00:09:29.200 humble but you're producing good results you have this propensity to compare yourself to bigger and
00:09:34.500 bigger and bigger people so like if i compare myself to jeff bezos of course i feel like i'm
00:09:39.380 fucking way behind right and that's a shitty feeling so dude when you know when i when i when i'm when i'm 0.87
00:09:44.880 feeling down dude i gotta fucking tell myself what i've actually done bro i built a business worth 10 0.92
00:09:49.220 figures i built a business worth nine figures i've built two number one podcasts i built the most
00:09:55.280 popular mental toughness program that's ever existed in the history of the planet we've transformed
00:10:00.600 hundreds of thousands of lives we've created thousands of jobs i'm invested in a whole bunch
00:10:05.540 of other companies that are eventually going to become household names and these are things i've
00:10:09.940 actually done so i have to sit down and actually be like wait a minute dude you're you're doing okay
00:10:15.640 you've done this you've done this you've done this you've done this but then i let it go i i use it
00:10:21.260 to bring me out of the of the low to where it gets me re-centered and i don't spend too much time saying
00:10:27.140 i'm the champion and when i start to feel like i'm the champion that's when i look at bezos and i'm
00:10:32.280 like bro you ain't doing shit you know i look at phil knight what he did with nike i'm like bro 0.91
00:10:37.020 you haven't done shit you're a little booger on their nose just remember that so it's an internal 0.79
00:10:41.660 dialogue that you have to like use to keep yourself in the rails and the honest the truth is is that
00:10:47.940 when you're low tell yourself the good things that you've done acknowledge the good things and when
00:10:51.660 you figure when you start to feel too good stop yourself and say wait a minute i got a long way
00:10:56.400 to go you know like people will come up to me and they will say things like man congrats on all the
00:11:01.720 success it's so awesome i'll say hey man got a long way to go okay that's my way of re-centering
00:11:07.340 myself immediately so that i don't absorb that you see what i'm saying and and you know this idea
00:11:13.660 of every day being day one because every day is day one because i'm not worried about what i did
00:11:18.820 yesterday or the day before that and i'm not worried about what i did tomorrow i'm worried about did i win
00:11:22.720 today and if you always worry about did you win today and you just win today every single day
00:11:27.800 eventually your life is going to look like a win which is what that episode in the powerless system is
00:11:32.220 all about so there's nuance to it sure and and it's a technique that you have to learn you don't
00:11:39.440 want to be too high you don't want to be too low uh the truth of the matter is is that you know we've
00:11:44.800 all heard this quote things are never as good as you think they are and they're never as bad as you
00:11:49.220 think they are and that's the truth so we have to be honest with ourselves about our own feedback
00:11:53.440 that we give and we have to be aware enough to know when our ego is actually taking control
00:11:57.760 and then we have to tell ourselves the proper internal dialogue messages that help us stay
00:12:02.240 centered because the truth is you know a lot of people will advocate for always building yourself
00:12:06.820 up but that's not good either because if you always build yourself up and you think you're the shit
00:12:11.200 and you're not actually shit you're gonna cap out no matter what because when you think you know 0.85
00:12:16.440 everything and you think you're at the best how the fuck can you get any better you see what i'm 0.79
00:12:21.180 saying so it's very important to stay balanced and most of the people who have been
00:12:25.820 ultra ultra ultra successful in life they are very balanced people they don't they don't
00:12:32.460 necessarily whip out their big dick and say this is what the fuck i've done at every chance those 0.98
00:12:37.240 are insecure people right but when someone challenges them they might say hey i've done this shit fuck 0.74
00:12:42.660 you right exactly so who the fuck are you you haven't done any of the shit i've done fuck you 0.99
00:12:47.420 you know i'm saying every once in a while i gotta whip that out on people because i get a lot of
00:12:51.080 these internet people that start thinking you know and i gotta be like oh really have you done any of
00:12:54.660 this shit right you know right let me ask you this and i love this i love that how do you what 0.82
00:13:01.180 do you say to people who have maybe been rewarding themselves with material things right is there
00:13:07.120 something is it okay one is it okay to reward yourself with material things right like i mean you
00:13:11.760 have a probably one of the best car collections for example right were those cars rewards for
00:13:17.900 yourself that's they started out that way you know what i'm saying but now it's a passion right so
00:13:22.880 it changes right yeah so how do you how do i mean i could tell you a story about every single one of
00:13:27.280 those cars about something i did in my life that triggered me to go get it right yeah so it had
00:13:31.220 definitely is like and that's a little game i play with myself when i do this i get this i do that i do
00:13:36.060 this right you see what i'm saying um but material things is another another topic you know there's a
00:13:42.500 lot of people out here who shit on material success and that's a very stupid thing to do because for
00:13:48.020 some people they that's their whole driving force for what they're doing you know i was one of those
00:13:54.020 people when i was when i was 17 oh fuck dude since i was eight i've been a huge car person i just tell 0.93
00:14:00.260 the story bro i drew i saw a white lamborghini coontosh when i was eight years old and i didn't know what
00:14:05.880 the fuck it was because it looked like a spaceship and we were in gas stations hey dad what's that 0.82
00:14:09.180 my dad's like that's a lamborghini coontosh you could have one of those if you work real fucking 0.95
00:14:12.740 hard i decided on that day no matter fucking what i'm having that all right and it changed the way 0.97
00:14:19.540 i looked at life i no longer looked at like oh you know like i started i became outcome driven
00:14:25.640 immediately and dude my whole childhood i had lemonade stands baseball car stands i sold
00:14:30.340 light bulbs door to door i did all the shit i did everything i could to try and hustle you know within 0.84
00:14:36.480 the realm of legal okay yeah no for real you know and uh and i wanted to become a businessman and i
00:14:42.640 wanted to become an entrepreneur and anybody who was around me growing up will vouch for that like
00:14:46.840 that was always what drove me um it wasn't sports it was business and uh you know so i grew up my
00:14:55.600 whole life wanting to have this dream of owning cool cars and that dream having the dream of having
00:15:03.360 cool cars carried me through the first 10 years of business the first three years of business i didn't
00:15:09.560 get paid at all i worked other jobs to keep the store open and so did chris the next seven years
00:15:15.180 we made 695 dollars per month for a total of 58 000 for the first 10 years okay so what the fuck do 0.57
00:15:24.040 you think got me through all that time it was all of these material goals right and a lot of people
00:15:31.260 will shit on people and they will say if you have material goals you're you're you're immoral or
00:15:35.720 greedy you're greedy or you're materialistic but what they don't realize is that for some people
00:15:41.120 these are the things that pull them through the difficult times when there is no results to
00:15:46.980 encourage them so it's a very irresponsible thing that some of these guys do when they shit on material
00:15:52.740 success because what you're doing is you're stealing people's dreams and saying those dreams aren't
00:15:58.080 worthy when in reality what eventually happens is you grow and you you achieve those dreams and then
00:16:04.100 you realize that it's not really about those dreams anyway at that point and once you get to that you
00:16:08.680 get to a more mature place okay and i still love cars bro i'm never going to fall out of love with cars
00:16:14.720 i'm a passionate car collector that's what i do and the community the culture everything about it i
00:16:22.460 fucking enjoy and i'm passionate about so but what happens is is you grow to this place through the 0.70
00:16:30.260 process where you start to realize that this isn't about you this is about the people around you and so
00:16:36.320 now you know if i had if i had talked to one of these gurus who shits on material shit at five years in 0.62
00:16:43.860 when i was making fucking no money and i'm struggling my ass off and they had convinced me that my dream was 0.93
00:16:49.580 bullshit and i quit how many of these people that have we've provided thousands of fucking careers 0.99
00:16:56.600 across the companies i own how many of those people would have that career fucking zero okay so we have 0.93
00:17:03.360 to understand that we shouldn't shit on people's material desires because those material desires help
00:17:10.120 drive them through the grind and then once they achieve them they usually mature to a different level
00:17:16.280 where they become totally purpose driven and they become mission driven and driven to create for
00:17:22.340 the people around them and produce for the people around uh them that have supported them so it becomes
00:17:28.140 a totally different game like if elon musk had quit when he got his mclaren f1 which was in the late
00:17:35.600 90s and said fuck i just got my mclaren we wouldn't have all this shit that he's doing you see what i'm 0.97
00:17:40.840 saying there's fucking hundreds he probably employs hundreds of thousands of people you see right so
00:17:46.100 that's bad that's right it's not bad people don't understand this you know there's there's a lot of
00:17:51.620 you may not understand cars you may not understand any of this shit but you shouldn't shit on people's
00:17:57.700 dreams because when you shit on people's dreams you're effectively canceling the better part of the
00:18:03.940 result that happens because that dream pulls them through the hard part bro if someone if i if someone
00:18:09.980 had convinced me to quit because they told me i was materialistic or that i was you know morally
00:18:15.500 fucked up for wanting that shit bro how many millions of people who have done live hard wouldn't have 0.92
00:18:21.800 done it okay hundreds of thousands of transformations through first form wouldn't have happened thousands
00:18:27.620 of jobs wouldn't have happened none of these companies would exist this show wouldn't exist all you guys
00:18:33.860 who have improved your life from the mfceo project that would have never happened you understand yeah so
00:18:39.580 we're cut we're cutting off the bloom of the flower because we don't like the way that it's growing in
00:18:46.880 the beginning that's not okay you know what i'm saying so um material things are definitely great
00:18:53.380 to pursue and enjoy as long as you realize that in the big picture they don't really mean shit and
00:19:01.880 eventually you're going to graduate from being someone who's driven by those things to someone who's
00:19:06.640 driven to accomplish a mission or a purpose that involves the benefit of many other people and
00:19:13.300 that's usually what happens to people most people don't stay in this materialistic mindset forever
00:19:19.220 they evolve from it but if we kill them when they're in that phase in the just the beginning bro it's
00:19:25.440 very irresponsible because we don't know what good's going to come of it later
00:19:28.580 went from sleeping on the floor now my jewelry box froze fuck a bowl fuck a stove counted millions in 0.96
00:19:36.240 the cold bad bitch booted swole got her on bankroll can't fold doesn't know headshot case closed 1.00
00:19:43.440 you