Episode 2156 Scott Adams: The News Is Weird And I'm Here For It. Grab Some Coffee And Get In Here
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 4 minutes
Words per Minute
146.00572
Summary
Scott Adams talks about how we define ourselves by what we don t do, and why it s time to get wet. And a story that you knew was coming, but no one else could possibly predict. Scott Adams
Transcript
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Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the highlight of human civilization.
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It's called Coffee with Scott Adams, and boy, you're lucky that you chanced upon it today.
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Your day is looking good, your weekend, your whole month, I think, is looking really good.
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And if you'd like to take it up to levels that no one's ever imagined could be possible,
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all you need is a cup or a mug or a glass, a tank or chalice, a canteen, jug, or a flask, a vessel of any kind.
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Fill it with your favorite liquid. I like coffee.
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And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure of the dopamine hit of the day,
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It's called the simultaneous sip. It happens now. Go.
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Well, you're going to be hot inside and out today if you're in most of the United States.
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It's going to be over 100 where I am, and I'm looking forward to it.
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All right, let's talk about all the fun things in the news.
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I'm sure I remember when I was younger that when people talked about things,
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There's a thing that happened. I went to the circus. It was great.
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And now what we talk about is things we don't do.
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It's just one of the many ways I'm superior to you because you don't watch television.
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For example, I used to say I was a tennis player.
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I've just defined myself by what I'm unwilling to do.
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Talk about the most predictable thing you could possibly predict.
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But gyms and fitness centers are now embracing fatness.
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So instead of getting you to look trim and muscular and et cetera, that's out the door.
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So they're going to work on your mental health and your strength.
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Is there anybody in the audience who's using a dating app of any kind?
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Do the photos of the people on the dating app look about the same as they did before the pandemic?
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In the old days, you'd see a lot of pictures of people from, you know, you'd see their whole body.
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And now the most common thing when people show their photo, in any sense, whether it's a profile picture or any place else, the photo's like this much.
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People are only showing this much of their body now.
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Don't ask about what's below this hand or above this hand.
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If I can get you sold on this part, maybe you won't ask as many questions about what's above the hand and below the hand.
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I heard that Rome said that the Colosseum would be available if Zuckerberg and Musk want to fight in there, in the Colosseum.
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To which I said, okay, there's no way you can make this story better, right?
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When I first heard that Zuckerberg and Musk might actually fight, I said to myself, well, it can't get better.
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I mean, this is the ultimate entertaining story.
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And then I imagined them doing it in the Colosseum.
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You know, honestly, I didn't think it was possible, but that's better.
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And then I thought, if you're going to do it in the Colosseum, that's really only a little driving distance from the Vatican.
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Could we get the Pope to referee the fight between Zuckerberg and Musk?
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Look, we started with no story, and we got all the way to Zuckerberg and Musk fighting in the Colosseum.
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Can you admit you're not good at predicting the future?
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Well, I say the Pope will be the referee for a fight that may or may not be naked between Musk and Zuckerberg in the Colosseum.
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That's what I want, and I'm not willing to settle for anything less than that.
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Did you happen to see the Trump Chris Christie tweet?
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I've got to show you the picture, because without the picture, it doesn't work as well.
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So there's a photograph of Chris Christie sleeping on a flight, and he wasn't looking too elegant.
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So Christie's just sort of, you know, slovenly spread out and crossed a seat and a half on the flight.
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But the funny part is that Trump does a truth on it.
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He says, resting after a good 25 minutes of work.
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He's completely, Trump is completely underrated as a humorist.
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But because he has this other job, you know, you don't think about it.
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If he said resting after 25 minutes of work, that's not really funny, is it?
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It was the addition of the word good that turned it from a sentence into a joke.
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How many people would have known that if you put that word good in there, it turns into funny?
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He's completely underrated for his writing ability as a writer.
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I would say as a writer of tweets and truths, he's just one of the best.
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So then Chris Christie thought he would dunk on Trump.
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So after Trump does this perfect Trump tweet, I mean, it's perfectly in character.
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Remember, I always teach you that Trump is the master of visual persuasion.
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When he talks about the wall, you can picture it in your mind, right?
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It's a visual thing even if there's no picture.
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He doesn't need to tell you that Chris Christie has policies you won't like.
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He can just show a picture of him looking like a slob on a plane.
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You get the same benefit without all the thinking.
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So Trump basically gives him a total kill shot.
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So he's doing that thing where instead of minimizing it, you're embracing it, right?
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So he's embracing it sort of like Dark Brandon, you know, Biden trying to embrace Dark Brandon.
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So he tries to embrace it and he says, Chris Christie says of Trump, living rent-free in Donald's head.
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Make me a permanent resident, you know, donate money, blah, blah, blah.
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So I tweeted Chris Christie's tweet and I said, pro tip, never hire an NPC to do your tweeting.
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You can test for NPCs by asking them if anyone is above the law.
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So if that doesn't sound funny to you, it's because you don't know the background to it.
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If you ever are tempted to say to somebody in 2023 that you're living rent-free in their head,
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you have either fallen into some kind of a time dilation situation where you've traveled back in time
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to where that made sense to say and it sounded kind of new and edgy,
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to, you know, well, let me just say that in 2023, this is really worn out.
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And only an NPC should say, you're living rent-free in somebody's head.
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And if somebody zings you as good as Trump zinged him,
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you're going to need something better than living rent-free in Donald's head.
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and this is something I have to remind myself of all the time,
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a lot of the people on Twitter that you imagine are trolls,
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and they're just coming in and saying bad things,
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you should know that a lot of them are just drunk.
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And as soon as you tell yourself that they might be drunk,
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Have you had the experience where a drunk comes up to you and acts drunk?
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but you don't, you're processing it as you're dealing with a drunk.
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You don't process it as you're dealing with that person
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and their actual personality in a real situation.
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You know, they can say something that, you know, makes you look stupid.
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So, you're like, ah, I'm not going to look stupid.
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is, I like to say, morning drinking or drunk already.
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So, there's a ton of stuff that you shouldn't think about at all.
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Just reply to them and ask them if they're drinking.
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Well, there's something called the misery index.
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It's the combination of unemployment and inflation.
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is down to where it was when Biden took office.
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Now, the misery index does not measure everything.
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in which they're quite pointedly blaming Randy Weingarten
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and I'm not saying this is relevant to the story.