Episode 2356 CWSA 01⧸17⧸24
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 19 minutes
Words per Minute
139.52759
Summary
Coffee with Scott Adams is the best thing you'll ever have in this world, and it's the only thing that makes it so. Today, Scott talks about a new kind of octopi, and why we're running out of sperm by 2040. Dr. Jordan Peterson's problems with Canada continue.
Transcript
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Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the highlight of human civilization.
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It's called Coffee with Scott Adams. I'm pretty sure it's the best time you'll ever have.
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And if you want to take this up to levels, well, that humans can't even understand.
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All you need is a cup or a mug or a glass, a tank or chalice, a stein, a canteen, chug, or a glass.
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A vessel of any kind. Fill it with your favorite liquid. I like coffee.
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And join me now for the unparalleled pleasure of the dopamine at the end of the day,
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It's called the simultaneous sip, and it's going to happen right now. Go.
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So, you know, it's funny. I was in Starbucks the other day, and I can swear I got decaf.
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I know I didn't, you know, because I watched them make it, but I was feeling like, oh, maybe the coffee is wearing off.
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But it is a thing that at some stores, they will give you decaf if they ran out of regular coffee.
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I don't think that happened to me, but it's a thing.
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Well, scientists have discovered at least four new species of octopus, who I call octopi.
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Now, you might know it, but it is appropriate to say both octopi and octopuses.
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One of those sounds naughtier than the other, so I go with octopi.
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However, if you found four new species of octopi, and you wanted them to form some kind of a political action group, what would they be?
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Octopi Wall Street. That is their new political action committee.
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And you think that four octopi is not enough, but let me tell you, they've got a lot of hands.
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Well, as you know, the sperm count among humans is plunging toward the ground,
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and by 2040, you can fuck all day, and you'll never have a baby.
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Well, it's bad news in the sense that it would be the end of humankind.
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But on the positive side, no unwanted children by 2040.
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Why has our sperm count been dropping for years and years everywhere?
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Where, yeah, it's the thing that the news can't tell you.
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It's the thing that your government can't say out loud.
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You don't see that 90% of your fellow citizens have literally been poisoned.
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So I think this sperm count thing and maybe even excess mortality.
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I mean, there are other possible reasons for that, as we all know.
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But I think it's the biggest story that's unreported, and it can't be reported under our system.
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Because I got a feeling there are some big food companies that have some influence in this world.
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So we'll probably just run out of sperm and all die because we can't ask the right questions in our current system.
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Dr. Jordan Peterson's problems with Canada continue.
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The Ontario College of Psychologists said that he needs to go to re-education school because of some damn thing he said that they don't like.
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So Canada wants, you know, this is an older story, but this is the update.
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So the update is, I guess, Dr. Peterson tried to get the courts to weigh in, and they said, nope, you have to be re-educated if that's what they say.
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So right now, Peterson is out of, he doesn't have any legal challenges left.
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But mark my words, however, the war has barely started.
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There's nothing you can take from me that I'm unwilling to lose.
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Well, I don't know what he can do to this Ontario blah, blah, blah.
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I feel like his job is largely giving it away on video.
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Somebody says, is there anything Bill Ackman can't fix?
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I don't know what's going to happen with this story.
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This doesn't seem like something that should happen in a civilized country.
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You ought to have a little bit of free speech, but apparently not.
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You've got to get a Canada re-education camp if you say something the government or this body doesn't like.
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Nobody's surprised that Ted Cruz is endorsing Trump, right?
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I think it was yesterday or the day before I saw a story.
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And I thought, well, it's not really a big mystery which way that's going to go, is it?
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Well, J.P. Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon is going out on a limb.
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Jamie Dimon is not any kind of famous Republican.
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I don't know what he registers as, but he's not.
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I don't think anybody considers him Republican.
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He said, I don't like how Trump said things, but he wasn't wrong about those critical issues.
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J.P. Dimon continues to not be a fucking jerk, which surprises you, doesn't it?
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Like when you see a famous person these days who just says something that just sort of is ordinary,
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ordinary obvious common sense, and it's not just full-blown Trump derangement syndrome
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He actually made news, Jamie Dimon did, he made national news by not being an asshole
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who just was trying to destroy the country with propaganda.
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Just saying a normal thing that, yeah, Trump was right about, and he named some things,
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and he said, but he wasn't wrong about those critical issues.
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People should be more respectful of our fellow citizens.
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He's running for president against the citizens, at least a third of them, at least.
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At least Jamie Dimon notices there's something wrong with that.
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I don't know if he ever thought about running for office.
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He'd be crazy if he did it, but he would be a strong candidate,
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just the fact he's willing to talk about it honestly.
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So he says that Trump was basically right about China, immigration, NATO, and I think he said taxes.
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So the Biden administration is considering adding the Houthis to the terrorist list.
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So let's add to Jamie Dimon's list that Trump was right about.
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China, immigration, NATO, taxes, the entire Middle East, Yemen.
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Now, here's a story that it makes you just shake your head the whole time you think about it.
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Like, try listening to this without shaking your head.
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Like, try to just hold your chin and try to hold your head straight while I tell you this story,
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On Bill Maher's show, he had Bernie Sanders on, and it turns out that when challenged,
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Bernie Sanders didn't know the difference between equity and equality, as it is defined by his own party.
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Bernie Sanders, the lefty of the lefty leftists, could not define and did not understand that his own party's primary policy,
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primary, the most important thing, is to make sure everybody has the same outcome.
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And he actually believed it was about opportunity.
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Now, I heard also Dr. Jordan Peterson said in a post the other day on X,
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that in his experience, he's talked to a number of members of Congress,
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and that they actually don't know that equity changed from being about opportunity to being about outcomes,
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and that that's the standard definition used by the left.
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So even the politicians elected by the left, the Democrats,
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Bernie Sanders is not aware of the most important part of his own party's platform.
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Hold your chin, quick, quick, because your head is shaking, isn't it?
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I can't be living in a world in which that is even possible.
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That can't possibly be that the most important part of the Democrat policies
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is unknown to the main head Democrats that were elected?
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Like, you ask yourself, how can we be in this place
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But the reason that Bernie Sanders doesn't know what his own party is doing
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is because I just can't be a hypocrite about this.
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I can't tell you Biden's too old and Bernie's too old
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and say that, ah, Trump's fine because he's acting right.
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In fact, Biden wasn't completely gone when he ran for office.
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could tell that four years was going to be devastating
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Trump was quoted as saying yesterday in his speech
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Do you think it's true that if fake news didn't exist,
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So, we're going to talk about the other headlines,
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and then I'm going to bounce against this idea.
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I saw a very funny post from Ken Oko the Great,
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World Economic Forum climate scientist Carlos Nobre
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says 2023 was the hottest year in 125,000 years.