Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep. 1409 ｜ Ex-Mormon Hears the True Gospel —and Everything Changes ｜ Kighley Medrano

00:00:00.000 I asked her, so what about the Book of Mormon? You read it and at the end it says pray and know

00:00:05.380 that these things are true. You will get a burning in your bosom. You'll get a good feeling. That is

00:00:09.580 the Holy Spirit telling you, yes, this is truth. And she said, I believe that it has some truth in

00:00:15.920 it, but that truth has been twisted just enough to where it's not truth anymore. I said, okay,

00:00:21.020 so then what about by your fruits you will know them? And she said, I agree that generally the

00:00:25.540 Mormon church, produces good moral families and children, and it looks really good on the outside,

00:00:31.380 but Satan comes dressed as an angel of light. When she said that, just the lights flipped on,

00:00:37.520 scales fell from my eyes. I knew that the angel Moroni was a demon.

00:00:44.640 This episode is brought to you by our friends at Worldwatch. Go to worldwatch.news slash

00:00:50.100 Allie so you and your teens can know what's going on in the world from a biblical perspective.

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00:01:06.820 Kylie, thanks so much for taking the time to join me. Who are you and what do you do?

00:01:13.380 Well, I'm Kylie Medrano and I post videos on the internet.

00:01:18.740 yes you do you talk about all kinds of things family you're a mom of six kids and you also

00:01:26.300 have shared publicly about leaving the mormon church and becoming a christian so i know it's

00:01:32.200 like a big question but i would love to go all the way back to you being raised a mormon and

00:01:38.620 then we can just go from there yeah absolutely were you born into the mormon church yes i was

00:01:45.360 born and raised in the Mormon church. Um, I was baptized when I was eight years old. I did all of

00:01:50.320 the regular Mormon things. We were very active as a family. I have four brothers and sisters and

00:01:55.800 we were just a regular Mormon family growing up. Did you grow up in Utah? No, we grew up in East

00:02:03.040 Texas. So that's the long Tyler area. Yes. And you've talked about before about how, even though

00:02:09.680 you like fully believed in Mormon doctrine, there were some things that you felt like you just like

00:02:14.560 couldn't abide by, like the coffee thing, different rules. Can you talk a little bit

00:02:19.240 more about that? Yes. So even though I totally 100% believed in the Mormon religion, there was

00:02:25.780 never a doubt in my mind at all. I still just desired sin. Even if the sin wasn't really sin 1.00

00:02:32.920 like tea or coffee, I just, I just desired sin. I was rebellious. I was considered more of a

00:02:39.420 jack mormon i guess you could say um and so it was really not something that i just desired which

00:02:46.980 was to just follow all the rules i knew i was supposed to and i knew that i should but i just

00:02:51.320 i did not you said jack mormon yes okay what does that mean so there's um like molly mormons would

00:03:00.040 be considered mormons that do all the things they're temple worthy they do all of the things

00:03:05.120 right. They have no struggles outwardly, of course. And then you have the Jack Mormons who

00:03:09.800 totally believe it. There's no question, but we'll drink tea or coffee. We'll just be more worldly. 0.99

00:03:16.460 They would just maybe hide it or not be as active in the church. And so I was one that hid it. I was

00:03:24.720 still active, but I just almost looked like a double life. Yeah. Would you say that was mostly

00:03:29.040 like when you were a teenager? Yes, absolutely. When I was a teenager. Yes. And what do you think

00:03:35.260 that was? Like, why do you think that you started bucking some of the things that you had been told

00:03:41.020 were right? I just think it was my own desires, even whenever I was eight years old. So whenever

00:03:49.060 it's typical and normal for a child to be baptized into the church, if you are born and raised in the

00:03:54.220 church to be baptized and become an actual member when you're eight years old. And so in the Mormon 0.96

00:03:59.740 religion, baptism is actually for the remission of sins. So when you're baptized, you're wiped

00:04:05.580 clean of all your past sins. The baptism does that. And I remember even when I was eight years

00:04:10.440 old, feeling the weight of that, like knowing that, okay, so I'm getting baptized and I have

00:04:15.840 to try to keep this up until I die. And so there was just always, I always felt that weight upon

00:04:23.780 me. So I think that just grew more and more as I got older and temptations came and my own desires

00:04:30.000 began to grow to chase after destruction and sin. Even though I was in a religion, I was still lost

00:04:36.240 in that religion. Yeah. And when you say that you had desire for destruction and sin,

00:04:41.740 are you defining sin like how we would define it now as Christians, as the Bible defines it?

00:04:46.860 Or are you defining that in Mormon terms, like drinking coffee?

00:04:51.060 I would say both. So I was drinking coffee. So internally, that was still totally sin. I never

00:04:57.340 liked sweet tea, even though I live in Texas, but I did drink coffee and I would, yes, still

00:05:03.940 participate in sins of the Bible would call sin. Just a very rebellious, typical teenager

00:05:09.420 partying, drinking, all of the things that were just chasing after sinful desires and destruction.

00:05:14.620 mm-hmm was there a conscious part of you that was like these rules just like aren't real and what's

00:05:22.840 underneath them just must not be real and that's why I'm not gonna abide by them or was it really

00:05:28.020 more of just like no I do believe that in one sense I just want to do what I want to do

00:05:32.740 absolutely I just want to do what I want to do I never questioned anything I firmly believed

00:05:39.760 all of it was truth and real I just I just was chasing after sin I was just lost um just chasing

00:05:48.600 after the things of the world and you got pregnant and had a baby out of wedlock which in a lot of

00:05:56.420 communities not just uh the Mormon community can be something that is like very tough and you can

00:06:02.580 feel very shameful about. And I imagine for your parents, this was like, this was a really big deal

00:06:10.360 that probably rocked your family in a sense. Yes. Um, there had been lots of things that

00:06:16.160 happened leading up to that. That was just kind of the natural consequence of where my life was,

00:06:21.740 where I was going in my life. I had already moved out when I was 17 years old. I think that also

00:06:27.220 was just a lot of just the weight that I'd always felt of just shame and guilt. And so I moved in

00:06:35.580 with my daughter's father whenever I was 17, 18 years old. And so, yes, that was a big deal. But

00:06:43.300 there was there was many things that happened. So it wasn't necessarily surprising that that

00:06:48.300 happened. Um, it was just, yeah, you said that you struggled with depression and drugs, and then

00:06:57.320 you spent time in a mental institution. And so there was a lot of things going on at this time.

00:07:02.520 Yes, there was a lot of things going on. Um, that of course all led up to this. So once I had my

00:07:08.400 baby, of course, the Lord used that to change lots of things in my life. Um, but up until then,

00:07:13.360 yes, there was a lot of drugs, depression, partying, just yes, all of the destruction.

00:07:18.960 Yeah. Yeah. Talk more about having your baby and how that changed things for you.

00:07:26.200 So I was just really ready to what I thought was being able to leave that weight and that burden

00:07:33.280 of being in my childhood home. I thought that maybe that's where the weight was coming from,

00:07:38.400 just having to live this double life because I was more afraid of my mom than I was of God.

00:07:44.580 I wanted to make sure she thought that I was doing everything that I should.

00:07:49.440 And I was not really worried about holiness.

00:07:52.580 And so after I had my baby, I was just ready to kind of grow up.

00:07:56.080 I was ready to try to fill that hole that looking back was clearly there.

00:08:01.800 Getting with someone that I thought would fulfill that, having a baby that I thought would fulfill that.

00:08:07.160 and of course none of those things did. Right and then eventually you met your husband right? Tell

00:08:13.540 me about that. So we met when I was actually still with my biological daughter's father so we met

00:08:19.820 like a Christmas party so we knew of each other and then once me and him split when my daughter

00:08:24.860 was about a year old that's whenever me and him went on a date and it was kind of history ever

00:08:30.700 since then we've been together ever since then so we dated for a year we're engaged for a year

00:08:34.780 and then we've been married for 10 years.

00:08:36.480 Tell me more about his faith and your faith

00:08:39.260 and how those two things collided.

00:08:41.440 Yes, so of course, I was a Mormon at the time

00:08:44.440 and he was raised in a Christian home.

00:08:47.300 He was taught the gospel

00:08:49.480 and he was raised up in a Christian church

00:08:51.500 and a Christian home.

00:08:52.620 But he, very similar to me,

00:08:55.000 was just not pursuing holiness,

00:08:57.700 was pursuing the Lord.

00:08:58.560 He was chasing his own desires.

00:09:00.760 And so him, whenever we first met,

00:09:03.280 he didn't know what a Mormon was. He definitely thought it was just another Christian denomination,

00:09:08.160 like a Methodist. And I was like, exactly, that's what it is. And so as we had further

00:09:13.620 conversation, he learned quickly that it was not a Christian denomination. And we began lots of

00:09:20.140 different arguments from then on. He still married me afterwards, which I mean, you know, that's,

00:09:24.900 that's his fault, but he married me. And then we just continued to have those conversations.

00:09:29.760 And I think the reason he was okay with marrying a Mormon is because he just, I mean, being 0.56

00:09:33.980 unequally yoked was not on the priority list for him because nothing else really was pursuing 0.88

00:09:40.440 the Lord or anything in that way.

00:09:42.640 Yeah.

00:09:43.340 It's interesting that he was raised culturally a Christian, so maybe not like super solid

00:09:47.580 or super deep in his theology. 0.89

00:09:49.100 And yet he did realize through y'all's conversations, oh, this is not the same thing.

00:09:54.920 This is not like Methodist.

00:09:56.540 do you remember what it was that made him realize hang on this is actually really different than

00:10:02.640 what i believe so it was a conversation that he was having with my brother my older brother who

00:10:07.640 was returned missionary and so i said hey how about you call him have some conversations ask

00:10:11.440 your questions to him and everything was fine like the book of mormon kind of was like making

00:10:16.500 sense to him like okay that's interesting but then once i mentioned like the doctrine and covenants

00:10:21.160 he was like, whoa, what is that?

00:10:23.160 And so then he realized, okay, so this isn't just this.

00:10:26.400 There's other books on top of that as well.

00:10:28.460 And that's when he was like, hold on, there's no way.

00:10:31.060 And so then as he started to dive deeper

00:10:33.820 into anti-Mormon literature,

00:10:36.420 it's definitely where he realized

00:10:37.560 this isn't the same gospel, this is a cult, 0.99

00:10:39.780 this is nowhere near Christian 0.84

00:10:41.860 or anything that I grew up believing.

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00:11:50.460 One thing that you said was that you wanted him to think that Mormonism was just a different

00:11:56.440 denomination of Christianity, like being a Methodist or something, which is something

00:12:00.640 that I hear increasingly from Mormons. Didn't really used to be that way though. It used to

00:12:05.780 be like Mormons are distinct. We're called Mormons. Now it's like, don't call me Mormon.

00:12:10.520 I'm just LDS and I'm a Christian. Can you talk a little bit more about why that is like how you

00:12:17.200 were raised, how you thought about it at the time that you met your husband? I definitely thought

00:12:21.800 that I was a Christian and a lot, it's the same argument. We have Jesus in the name, the church

00:12:26.480 of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Of course, we believe in the same Jesus that's silly. So I 0.98

00:12:30.160 think it has just a lot to do with deception and our eyes are closed. It's very easy to,

00:12:35.100 of course, take things that are in the Bible and say, well, that's a part that was translated

00:12:39.760 incorrectly. So anytime that we're confronted with anything that would go against what we believe

00:12:44.880 Jesus is, that is of course where plain and precious truths were lost. And that's the whole

00:12:49.940 point of the restoration of the gospel that Joseph Smith brought about. So it's just a very easy 0.93

00:12:55.060 loophole to just continue down the Mormon theology and Mormon belief system. Whenever that's your

00:13:01.360 basis for truth is that there's just kind of always this loophole that points you back to

00:13:06.520 Mormon doctrine. And what is the doctrines and covenants? So doctrine and covenants is another

00:13:13.160 revelation that Joseph Smith received from God, and it's basically his own scripture. So it's

00:13:20.400 still considered scripture. It's in the canonization. I actually have my whole quad

00:13:23.700 right here, but it's just another revelation for the church to abide by. So it's just extra

00:13:31.120 scripture that Joseph Smith wrote down from Revelation. Okay. So your husband started

00:13:37.960 like looking at that and he was like, okay, this is actually really different than the Bible.

00:13:42.100 Now you talked about something interesting in marrying your husband, who you said was kind of 0.58

00:13:45.940 a cultural Christian that you almost didn't feel worthy to marry a Mormon man. Can you unpack that

00:13:52.160 a little bit? Yes. So I of course was, like I've said, like 12 times, I was after destruction.

00:13:59.680 And so in Mormonism, it's not just about being able to repent.

00:14:06.100 Like, of course, there were times where I knew that I was in sin.

00:14:08.940 I knew that I was not abiding by the laws and ordinances of the gospel in Mormonism or even just in general and regular morality.

00:14:16.820 And so whenever even even whenever you're to that point where you'd like to repent, it's really difficult to.

00:14:22.780 It's not just a God, I'm repenting.

00:14:25.540 I'm sorry.

00:14:26.460 Like, please forgive me.

00:14:27.580 there's an entire repentance process. So you have to meet with the bishop. He might prescribe

00:14:33.920 different things for you to do. You're going to have to abstain from sacrament, which is the

00:14:39.280 bread and the water. So it's similar to like communion. You have to abstain from that. You

00:14:44.540 can only be take that if you are worthy to take that. If you are deemed unworthy enough, you have

00:14:50.580 to not be able to go to different trips. So it's not just an internal like between me and the Lord,

00:14:55.940 I can repent of this. It is very much going to be a public thing if it's bad enough. And I knew

00:15:01.200 that mine was going to be bad enough. So even if I wanted to repent, it was really hard to convince

00:15:07.560 yourself to go through all of that. Public humiliation is what basically it would be,

00:15:11.960 because everyone would know why you can't partake. So I never really, there was maybe one or two

00:15:17.940 times I actually got the gumption up to go through the repentance process with my bishop. And even

00:15:24.400 then it was just still tainted. Like I still felt the weight of that. Like I never actually felt

00:15:30.520 forgiven. I never actually felt worthy or clean or pure or any of those things. And so, and I felt

00:15:38.400 like everyone around me knew. And so there was just no really point in even pursuing like a Mormon 0.99

00:15:45.440 guy or a turned missionary because purity culture is very, very big. The law of chastity is very big 0.95

00:15:50.740 Mormon culture. And I was definitely considered outside of that. Also, my mom, my dad was baptized

00:15:56.720 in the church, but he was never an active, like consistently active. So my mom is the one who took

00:16:01.540 us to church, seminary, all the things. And so I said, okay, well, if she can do that, then I can

00:16:06.920 carry my family too. Yeah. And you've also talked about how you weren't really worried about your

00:16:13.340 husband believing something different, because even amidst all of this, like feeling outside,

00:16:17.600 like you still were tried and true you were like joseph smith revelation all true all right you

00:16:23.020 were still a believer and you didn't have really anxiety about your husband not being a believer

00:16:28.460 because you were like well i'll just get baptized on his behalf in the church when he dies before

00:16:34.100 me right absolutely talk a little bit more about that because some people don't understand that

00:16:39.520 yes so um in the plan of salvation for mormonism whenever someone dies there's two places that

00:16:46.060 they go to wait for judgment. So there's spirit prison and spirit paradise. So everyone who's

00:16:52.020 gotten their work done on earth, so you've been baptized in the Mormon church with the correct 0.91

00:16:57.100 authority, the correct priesthood, which only the Mormon church holds on earth. You have to have 0.98

00:17:02.700 the laying on of hands, the gift of the Holy Spirit, all of those works have to be completed

00:17:06.460 for you to go to spirit paradise. Everyone else who hasn't had that done is waiting in spirit

00:17:11.740 prison. So you can do it on their behalf, proxy in the Mormon temple. That's one of the big things

00:17:18.340 that happens. That's what a lot of the youth groups, youth trips that we would do. We'd go to

00:17:22.460 Dallas and do like 30 baptisms each person for and on behalf of this long list of people. So my plan

00:17:29.360 was when my husband died, I would just get his works done in the temple so that, because there's

00:17:34.740 people that go from spirit paradise into spirit prison, they're missionaries, they're sharing the

00:17:38.600 gospel. If you accept it, great. Now we're just waiting for your works to get done. So you can

00:17:42.260 mosey over to spirit paradise and waiting over there. He was actually going to get it in his

00:17:47.080 will that he was not, no one put his name anywhere in the temple, in the Mormon temple. He was going

00:17:52.880 to put that in so that I couldn't, I couldn't get that done. Wow. Okay. I didn't actually know

00:17:58.860 about the spirit prison and the spirit paradise. I know that there are three levels of heaven,

00:18:04.740 um that you can go to that like someone like me who is a christian believer who believes in jesus

00:18:12.260 for the forgiveness of my sins but hasn't been baptized in the mormon church and all that

00:18:16.000 i would go to one level but the highest level that you actually are in the presence of god

00:18:22.080 correct me if i'm wrong i'm just trying to remember is for those who are obviously they're

00:18:26.920 in spirit paradise and they have done all of the things required by mormonism to actually

00:18:33.780 be with god in heaven you have to do all of these things right correct and what like okay here's the

00:18:42.520 thing i you know i debated a mormon on my show and he would say it's we're not we don't go to

00:18:48.820 heaven by works it's not by works it is you know through only through grace it is only through

00:18:54.440 jesus but can you drink coffee on earth do everything else as a mormon and still go to

00:19:02.600 highest level of heaven? No, you cannot. So to be able to reach the highest level of heaven,

00:19:09.760 you would have to go through the temple. And so you would have to get lots of different temple

00:19:13.880 work done. You would have to learn all of the signs and the tokens. You have to receive your

00:19:18.920 endowments. There's lots of things you have to do. Sorry, I'm going to pause because it's so

00:19:23.500 interesting to me. What are the signs and the tokens and the endowments? So it is very identical

00:19:29.920 to Freemasonry. So any of the signs, the tokens, the handshakes, those are the things that you

00:19:35.620 have to be able to do in order to go through the veil. You get a new name. There's lots of

00:19:43.180 different ceremonies that have to be completed in order to go through the veil, to go to the

00:19:49.240 celestial kingdom. So in order to even enter the temple to do any of those things, you have to

00:19:55.960 pass a worthiness interview. And in the worthiness interview, you have to be obeying the word of

00:20:01.320 wisdom, which entails tea, coffee, tobacco, and alcohol. You have to be abstaining from those

00:20:06.560 things. So if you're not even doing that, you don't even have a temple recommend, so you can't

00:20:10.140 even go to the temple at all. So that would stop you at the very beginning to even be able to keep

00:20:15.860 going. Okay. Can you tell me what a worthiness interview is? So a worthiness interview is an

00:20:21.860 interview that's conducted by either a bishop or one of his counselors. And so it can start when

00:20:27.960 you're 11, 12 years old, and it would start then whenever you are trying to go to a youth temple

00:20:34.260 trip for baptisms for the dead. And so they ask you things like, faith, do you believe in Jesus

00:20:40.720 God? Do you believe Joseph Smith was a true prophet? Do you believe that the current prophet

00:20:44.900 of the church is a seer, a revelator? Today, are you obeying the law of chastity, which is just

00:20:51.080 sustaining from any kind of sexual acts? Are you obeying the word of wisdom? Are you a full

00:20:55.640 tithe payer as far as you're able to be? So a full tithe payer in Mormonism is 10%.

00:21:00.420 And so you have to be able to pass the standards of the church in order to be considered worthy to

00:21:07.760 get your recommend for entering the temple. Okay. So it's so interesting because obviously

00:21:13.360 you're listing so many different qualifications and works that you have to do, even beyond

00:21:18.060 like good works. I mean, this is a whole list of sacraments that you have to accomplish in order

00:21:23.560 to die and to not just go to the spirit paradise, but be in the presence of God. But if I asked a

00:21:29.780 Mormon, they would say, no, we're saved by Jesus. We're saved by his sacrifice. We're saved by his

00:21:35.040 grace. So is there like a purposeful hiding of all of the things that you're talking about? Or is

00:21:41.780 that just what y'all are taught to say? There's just, there's obviously such a distinction between

00:21:47.220 what you just said and what I hear from a lot of people in the LDS church.

00:21:51.520 So if you ask a Mormon, are you saved?

00:21:54.280 They can say yes, because saved in Mormonism is just getting to heaven. 0.93

00:21:58.680 Like that's all Jesus did. 0.96

00:22:00.160 He's basically the little bridge that you can walk across to get to heaven.

00:22:03.480 And then once you're in heaven, that's when you're judged and will decide what degree

00:22:09.080 of glory that you're going to be in.

00:22:11.240 So that's the word saved.

00:22:12.960 So they use a lot of the same terminology, but they have very different definitions.

00:22:17.220 okay so that's why i could ask them am i saved as someone who believes in jesus and they would

00:22:23.600 say yes they would say yes you're saved i'm saved but they know that if i went to the other side

00:22:30.580 in their world view that i would be judged to the point where i couldn't get all the way up

00:22:36.440 to the presence of god right yes okay we kind of took a little bit of a detour because it's so

00:22:42.980 interesting there's so many things that i hear from you that i don't hear from people who are

00:22:46.940 currently, you know, identifying as LDS. And so one other thing that I want you to unpack in that,

00:22:53.360 that we kind of brushed past, as you said, all of these tokens and these different things that

00:22:57.420 have to be done within the temple are similar to Freemasonry. Now, what are you talking about?

00:23:05.900 So Joseph Smith was a Freemason. There's different parts of Mormonism, Mormon members who are 0.94

00:23:12.520 totally aware of that and say, actually, I would love to be one. I'm in a lodge right now. And

00:23:16.960 then there's ones who are like, there's no way that's not true. It just depends on what part

00:23:20.700 of the country that you're in. The closer to Utah that you get, I believe it's definitely more common

00:23:25.060 knowledge up there. But down here, it's very uncommon knowledge. But he was a Freemason.

00:23:30.040 Okay, tell us what Freemasonry is. As far as I'm aware, Freemasonry is a very,

00:23:35.620 it's a cult in and of itself with lots of sacred secret ceremonies and it's lots of sacred secret

00:23:44.480 things which is very similar to how the Mormon structure is if you ask a Freemason what's going

00:23:52.180 on in there they say we can't talk about it it's it's sacred right not secret sacred and that's

00:23:57.840 very similar to when you ask a Mormon okay so what happens in the celestial room in the temple like

00:24:03.960 what what's going on in there. And there's a lot of the things that even I've said on this podcast

00:24:08.700 right now that are considered sacred things, not secret things, but sacred things. So just

00:24:13.740 a lot of hidden, hidden things and nothing good happens in the dark.

00:24:19.780 Okay, so I'm just looking up so people can have kind of a clear definition. It's also called

00:24:24.560 Freemasonry is also called Eastern Star. It's very similar, as you said, to other secret

00:24:29.440 organizations i would call lds mormonism a secret organization a secret society that operates in

00:24:36.040 secret i always think it's very austere when i see like a a mormon what they call a church but

00:24:42.080 a building like there are no windows it's it's it's very closed off so that's one similarity

00:24:47.480 freemasonry in itself is not you know it's not a religion so someone could be mormon or they could

00:24:53.420 be hindu or they could be something else and they would become a freemason and they just believe in

00:24:58.000 some kind of supreme being. And they believe that through following the ordinances of Freemasonry

00:25:04.160 and gaining Freemason membership, um, that you can gain some kind of salvation. They have symbols

00:25:13.120 and emblems, as you said. Um, and they teach that this is a process of self-improvement.

00:25:20.800 Um, and it, it represents different kinds of virtuous education that they have to go through.

00:25:27.080 so very strange it's kind of syncretism like it takes so many different forms of different

00:25:32.900 faiths and puts it all together into some kind of secret society and you're saying mormonism

00:25:38.000 is very similar to that which like as you're talking about mormonism i do hear aspects

00:25:43.540 of islam and catholicism and evangelical christianity all kind of molded into this

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00:27:00.720 my code Allie10, everylife.com, code Allie10. Talk a little bit more about your journey. So

00:27:11.460 we've kind of covered all of these different ins and outs of Mormonism. You get married,

00:27:17.420 your husband's still not on board with it. What starts to change?

00:27:22.960 So nothing really started to change. I was still very zealous for what I believed. He was very

00:27:27.620 zealous for what he believed. We would go at it all the time. Neither of us were willing to,

00:27:33.060 except I had loopholes. However, I am always willing to go to bat. So we would have very

00:27:39.040 unfruitful conversations and arguments all of the time to a point where we had to eventually say,

00:27:43.660 okay, like we have to just, this can be a no fly zone. We can't talk about this anymore because

00:27:48.060 we're just both such at odds with each other. And we would always joke that every other part

00:27:52.580 of our marriage was great, except for this one part. And so every Sunday was just a huge area

00:27:58.620 of contention. He would go to his church with our oldest, which would be his biological daughter.

00:28:04.380 I would take my biological daughter with me and we would just go to our separate churches

00:28:08.840 every Sunday.

00:28:11.240 And did he ever like just share the gospel with you and explaining the differences between

00:28:16.760 Christianity and Mormonism?

00:28:18.580 He did. 0.60

00:28:19.400 He would, he loved to point out all the differences between Mormonism and Christianity.

00:28:23.140 But one day I remember we were sitting in the living room and he said that he was explaining

00:28:27.720 the gospel to me.

00:28:28.440 He was saying it is by faith alone in Jesus that we are saved, like no works. 0.96

00:28:33.440 and I told him that is crap like that's cheap I don't believe that you have to prove it you have 0.98

00:28:40.160 to prove yourself and he told me well if you were to die right now believing that you would go to 0.99

00:28:47.080 hell and I remember saying how dare you like because in my brain that just meant he thought 0.90

00:28:52.900 I was a bad person because that's what that meant of course to me right so yes so he did share the

00:28:59.000 gospel which is a seed that was planted of course I didn't realize at the time but he did yeah

00:29:02.960 very openly yeah because in mormonism very few people go to hell like the sons of perdition

00:29:09.000 perdition is hell and that's like i've been told like judas but we don't really know who else is

00:29:14.420 there right so there was that's changed so that's one thing that happens a lot like you said you 0.60

00:29:19.900 know if you would ask a mormon 20 years ago are you a mormon or christian they would proudly say

00:29:23.680 they're a mormon not christian that's the church of satan and we are the one true church on earth

00:29:27.940 That was literally what the church was built on. 0.60

00:29:30.780 Same thing with who goes down the fun, slippery slide of apostasy.

00:29:35.800 So 20 years ago, I would be considered someone who would be a son of perdition, who would

00:29:39.840 go down.

00:29:40.940 And whenever you see the plan of salvation, there's this, it goes like that, and to outer

00:29:45.440 darkness.

00:29:46.300 That's where I would go.

00:29:46.960 Now, I think there's so many ex-Mormons out there that they just kind of, well, now it's 0.83

00:29:53.740 just people who for sure like Judas, right?

00:29:56.120 Like people who absolutely for sure have known the truth, seen Jesus, and yet still denied 0.52

00:30:01.620 him. 0.56

00:30:01.980 Those are now the people who would go to who are apostates. 0.91

00:30:05.180 Interesting.

00:30:05.860 So you're saying the Mormon church kind of shifts based on how much backlash they're

00:30:09.540 getting to a certain doctrine.

00:30:11.500 Absolutely.

00:30:12.420 Yes.

00:30:12.860 Yeah.

00:30:14.060 Okay.

00:30:14.840 So you were told you're going to hell.

00:30:17.660 You felt like I'm a bad person.

00:30:19.500 Y'all were like, we can't talk about this anymore.

00:30:21.300 It's too much.

00:30:22.480 But the conversation came up again.

00:30:24.620 And you describe this scene where you're at the park, right, with your kids.

00:30:30.120 And then a mom is there and she's an ex-Mormon. 0.52

00:30:33.180 What happened? 0.52

00:30:34.460 Yes.

00:30:34.800 So my daughter had met a friend and they wanted to start getting closer to each other.

00:30:39.160 And so we had to, of course, have a play date with the parents so we get to know them better.

00:30:42.760 And just in passing, she had kind of mentioned that she was an ex-Mormon.

00:30:46.860 And I had never met an ex-Mormon before.

00:30:49.120 So that was very interesting to me.

00:30:50.960 I just wanted to really know how she was lying to herself.

00:30:56.040 And she was also a children's leader at a local church.

00:30:59.200 So I wondered how are you lying to yourself, left the truth, and you're also lying to children.

00:31:06.060 So I just really wanted to know how she was justifying leaving the true church.

00:31:11.880 And that was the main pull that I had to wanting to know more about her journey out of the church.

00:31:20.260 So you started talking to her and asking her questions that day that you met her?

00:31:24.820 No, actually, that was about a week before. And later, about a week or two later, we decided to

00:31:32.220 have a play date together. And I was hoping that we would bring it up and talk about it,

00:31:35.600 but I wasn't sure. So we had our little toddlers because our big girls were in school.

00:31:39.260 And we ended up bringing it up. And so I asked her, so what about the Book of Mormon? Because

00:31:45.660 you read it. And at the end, it says, pray and know that these things are true. You will get

00:31:49.140 a burning in your bosom, you'll get a good feeling. And that is the Holy Spirit telling you,

00:31:54.460 yes, this is truth. And she said, I believe that it has some truth in it, but that truth has been

00:32:00.160 twisted just enough to where it's not truth anymore. And I thought that was very interesting

00:32:04.680 because I'm a very black and white person. And I said, okay, so then what about by your fruits,

00:32:09.340 you will know them. Generally, the Mormon church produces good moral families, good moral children.

00:32:15.440 what about that what about the fruits and she said i agree that generally the mormon church

00:32:20.100 produces good moral families and children and it looks really good on the outside but satan comes

00:32:26.500 dressed as an angel of light and when she that was you know second corinthians 11 14 and when

00:32:34.280 she i didn't realize that that was the word of god that she was quoting to me and so when she said

00:32:40.240 that, immediately the angel Moroni popped into my brain. And it was like, just the lights flipped

00:32:46.620 on scales fell from my eyes and an immediate paradigm shift happened. And I knew that the

00:32:52.820 angel Moroni was a demon. And I just sat there in silence and I just said, I have to go. So I

00:33:00.240 gathered my children and I put them in the car and we drove home. And on the way home, I was just

00:33:05.360 every, every thought, every argument, every apologetics, everything that I had ever known

00:33:09.740 was just melting. Like it all just became so clear. I couldn't believe the thoughts that I was

00:33:15.180 having about the religion that I had grown up knowing to be true my whole life. It was just,

00:33:19.980 everything was just unraveling. And so I got home, I put my toddlers down for their nap and I called

00:33:25.200 my husband and I was just word vomiting, trying to tell him all of the things that had just happened.

00:33:30.340 And so finally I got to the end and I said, it's not true. The church isn't true. And in that very

00:33:37.120 moment I felt just this burden, just that weight just lifted off of me. Like I knew that there was

00:33:44.020 nothing I could do. All of the, all of the lists, all of the, the laws and ordinances that I had to

00:33:49.080 keep, none of those things were real or true. And I just, I just had the sense that it was Jesus.

00:33:54.340 Right. And so I said, and at the same time, like I dropped to my knees screaming and crying and

00:34:01.040 just in complete agony and sadness and despair because I just it was so painful to just come to

00:34:07.920 this realization suddenly abruptly that everything that I'd ever known was a lie my whole life

00:34:14.060 everything that I knew and of course my husband was extremely excited crying himself on the phone

00:34:20.000 but of course just elated and so just having both those emotions at the same time was very

00:34:24.620 overwhelming. Yeah. For those who don't know, who is the angel Moroni? So the angel Moroni is the

00:34:31.400 angel who appeared to Joseph Smith, who instructed him to go to the Hill Cumorah and dig up the

00:34:37.060 golden plates, which would later be constructed into the Book of Mormon. And the angel Moroni

00:34:43.680 is who is on the top of the like Mormon buildings, right? Correct. Yes. He is a little gold statue 1.00

00:34:50.380 on top of every temple. Okay. And he's not worshiped or he's not prayed to, correct?

00:34:58.860 He's just a symbol of the revelation that was given to Joseph Smith, which they believed

00:35:04.880 restored the gospel and restored the true church to the earth, right?

00:35:10.440 Yes. He's actually one of the characters in the Book of Mormon, Moroni.

00:35:15.020 okay right yes um and here's just like an aside question that i've always wondered because as you

00:35:22.260 said 20 years ago mormons were saying no we're the true church we're mormons we're proud mormons

00:35:27.820 there was this whole pr campaign like i'm a mormon where all these celebrities you know in that big

00:35:34.220 commercial were saying i'm a mormon to try to show people look mormonism is just like a normal thing

00:35:39.200 And now they're like, no, do not call me Mormon.

00:35:42.880 They see it as offensive to be called Mormon.

00:35:45.600 They want to be called members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

00:35:49.560 And yet there are no crosses on the churches.

00:35:52.960 Like I don't see Jesus depicted on the churches.

00:35:56.740 I don't know if you have any insight into why that is.

00:35:59.500 Like why Moroni is the symbol?

00:36:01.520 Why not Jesus himself?

00:36:02.720 Why not the cross? 0.57

00:36:04.500 So the reason that the cross is not on any church is because Jesus did not atone for our sins on the cross in Mormonism.

00:36:14.700 He atoned for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane.

00:36:17.440 So whenever it says that he shed his blood through every pore, that is where our sins were atoned for.

00:36:21.960 So the cross, technically, Jesus didn't even actually have to die.

00:36:27.860 Our sins were atoned for when he shed his blood through his pores in the Garden of Gethsemane.

00:36:33.680 So that's why the cross has no power in Mormonism, because that's not the means by which our sins 0.81

00:36:40.740 were atoned for.

00:36:42.480 Okay, I did not know that.

00:36:44.740 And you might not even know the answer to this, or maybe you do.

00:36:48.780 Why?

00:36:49.560 Like, why is that a distinct Mormon belief that our sins were atoned for in the garden 0.72

00:36:54.040 and not on the cross?

00:36:56.780 I really don't know where that doctrine would come from necessarily.

00:37:01.260 I bet I could look it up.

00:37:02.000 I'm sure it's some kind of revelation from a past prophet, but of course—

00:37:05.300 That's okay.

00:37:06.020 Yeah, but of course, I mean, it's just an undoing of the work of Christ.

00:37:10.600 There's so many examples looking into all of it that the work that Jesus did is undone,

00:37:16.800 going all the way to the actual crucifixion, the actual cross.

00:37:21.020 The power of the cross is completely taken away.

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00:38:38.040 Okay, so the gospel, I would say in Mormonism, you tell me if this is correct,

00:38:44.080 that, well, gosh, we could go all the way back to like who Jesus even is and how he was created

00:38:49.280 and all of that and how that's distinguished from Christianity, which I'll let you do.

00:38:53.480 but the gospel itself is that jesus was a son of god and he atoned for our sins by his blood but

00:39:02.920 not the blood he shed on the cross the blood that he shed in the garden of jesimony and that

00:39:08.240 atonement did not cover our sins once for all but it's like through that atonement that we have the

00:39:15.560 opportunity to do all of the good works follow all the ordinances of the temple follow all the

00:39:22.740 rules all of the ceremonies to then have the opportunity to go to a level of heaven possibly

00:39:31.180 where we can spend forever with god like is that a correct understanding of what the so-called

00:39:37.380 gospel is in mormonism yes i would definitely say that so i can even sum it up even more so we have

00:39:43.240 the articles of faith um so there's 13 articles of faith that we are very much um encouraged to

00:39:50.220 memorize whenever we're very young. So number three is, and these are written by Joseph Smith,

00:39:54.940 and then they're in the history of the church in every quad. So it says, we believe that through

00:40:00.080 the atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the

00:40:07.620 gospel. So that's it right there. Like we are saved through the atonement that happened in

00:40:13.640 the Garden of Gethsemane, through the laws and ordinances of the gospel, which of course is only 0.83

00:40:18.520 through the Mormon church. So yes, what you said is definitely accurate. Yeah. So interesting how

00:40:24.820 the wording can be used to make it sound so much like the gospel that Christians believe

00:40:29.920 and all of the little, um, footnotes underneath it are kind of, are kind of hidden, which again,

00:40:37.280 I just, I don't really understand why. Maybe you can speak to that. Why have Mormons kind of

00:40:43.160 shied away from, yes, we're the one true church with the one true gospel and the true ordinances

00:40:48.240 to while we're just another denomination of Christianity.

00:40:52.360 I think exactly what I had said earlier,

00:40:55.280 whenever there's enough heat, they change.

00:40:59.000 So for example, whenever I was young,

00:41:02.040 the garments were cap sleeve.

00:41:04.460 If you wore anything above that,

00:41:06.540 modesty deemed this to be modest.

00:41:09.760 Recently, it is now this.

00:41:11.840 Garments look like this now,

00:41:13.860 which is like, why would God change his standard

00:41:17.540 of, of modesty. Like that's a huge part of Mormon culture is modesty. So I just think as the age of

00:41:26.340 information, the age of being online, where it's very clearly like you're going to get, if you

00:41:32.120 come up on here and say, we're the, we're the one true church, you guys are the church of Satan.

00:41:37.100 We are the one true church. You need to have the fullness of the gospel. Here it is. That is

00:41:43.160 a statement to be made. And so I just think as the age of information, as we're able to just

00:41:48.800 on a more broader sense, have these conversations with each other, they've just shied away from

00:41:54.520 being so abruptly different. While, of course, when you get into all the nitty gritty, it's all

00:42:00.680 there still. They haven't separated themselves from that. But as far as being so forward with

00:42:06.480 you guys are all wrong, we're the right church, that's a strong statement to be made. And so I

00:42:12.420 just think that they're just trying to get out of the limelight in that way. Yeah, totally. So

00:42:18.620 I mean, even like the past prophets were so much more open with saying these off the wall things

00:42:27.100 that they said are from God. And now if you look at the general conference, which happens,

00:42:32.300 it's a global once a year, the prophet really doesn't say anything prophetic. Like there's

00:42:38.680 nothing crazy that happens anymore. And I think it's just the age of information. Like it's very

00:42:44.620 easy to tell now, okay, well that didn't happen. What you just prophesied didn't happen. So I just

00:42:51.260 think it's just trying to stay out of the limelight more. Yeah. So you talked to your husband and you

00:42:56.460 just, when you said those words, like the church isn't true, you felt this burden lift off of you.

00:43:02.680 Talk about what happened from there. So after that, of course he got off the phone and

00:43:08.660 And I just immediately realized if, okay, so if, if Moroni is a demon and then all of

00:43:17.200 this is demonic is satanic.

00:43:19.380 Like that was my initial thought.

00:43:20.880 So my initial reaction was I'm going to go through and I'm going to write down all of

00:43:25.260 the things that I was so offended by.

00:43:28.260 Cause of course in that time, like my husband, of course, is saying other things.

00:43:30.600 I don't remember what he said to me, but afterwards I was going through and writing

00:43:34.060 down things that I just felt offended by that I shouldn't have been offended by. So things like

00:43:40.420 the word worship or the cross or reading the Bible, things like that were extremely offensive

00:43:45.020 to me. And so then as time went on, I was speaking with, so the girl that the Lord used

00:43:52.020 to open my eyes, of course, I texted her and I was like, hey, listen to all this great stuff

00:43:58.060 that happened. And she was like, oh, I thought you were mad. And I was like, no, the Lord used

00:44:02.460 you to open my eyes. And so of course, you know, she's trying to disciple me and give me all this

00:44:09.260 information. And you just read, read the words of God, read the words of Jesus, you know, all the

00:44:13.220 words in red. And then I just said, wait, hold on a second. How do I know that this is true? So I've

00:44:19.740 been raised in deception my whole life. How can I trust anything? How do I know that Christianity

00:44:24.680 is true? So I went through and I started researching with my husband, all of the different 1.00

00:44:29.020 religions that I knew about. Judaism, Islam, Jehovah's Witnesses, and every one of them

00:44:35.860 had very similar things in common. They either, every one of them except for Christianity, 0.98

00:44:41.180 demoted the deity of Jesus. He was either just a good prophet, just a good man. He was just the

00:44:46.440 son of God, but he was never God in the flesh. Another thing they had in common, right? So

00:44:51.860 um i believe it's islam where the angel not gabriel is it gabriel came to muhammad the angel

00:45:01.820 that came to muhammad and showed him um the truth right a different gospel in every one of these

00:45:08.420 religions whenever you go back to the men who founded them they have to deny oftentimes illegal

00:45:16.440 and heinous accusations that are documented, like actual accusations or bookings. You have to 0.99

00:45:23.800 completely deny those things ever actually happened. You have to deny historical facts,

00:45:28.740 geographical facts. You have to deny all of these things for them to be able to stand.

00:45:34.820 And the other thing was that they all had basically the same message. Even atheism,

00:45:40.220 Just be a good enough person in one form or another, and you will get to a higher sense of self, or you'll get to heaven, or whatever it is.

00:45:49.880 And the only one who Jesus is God, this book, the Bible, is historically accurate.

00:45:59.380 There is mounds of evidence that support the Bible we have today.

00:46:05.800 There's no plain and precious parts that are missing.

00:46:08.700 We can trust this document right here as being accurate.

00:46:14.720 And then it's the only one where we cannot have this righteousness in ourselves.

00:46:20.900 We don't possess the ability.

00:46:23.280 It has to be imputed to us from an outside source.

00:46:26.740 And of course, in Christianity, that is from Jesus.

00:46:29.100 His righteousness is imputed to us.

00:46:31.300 And so once I did a lot of research, especially in the Bible, because that's where the entire

00:46:37.400 stance of Mormonism comes from. That's why Joseph Smith had to restore the gospel because Lehi

00:46:44.300 prophesied that many plain and precious parts would be lost after the death of the apostles.

00:46:49.520 And there would be this great time of apostasy where the true church and the keys of the

00:46:54.780 priesthood would not be on the earth. And there is overwhelming evidence that that is not true

00:47:02.600 at all there was nothing that was lost it wasn't translated from language to language to language

00:47:08.780 and we're just trying to no it was transliterated like it's not even true that all of those things

00:47:13.920 why it was even founded so then once i said okay so this book is accurate like i can i can trust

00:47:20.360 this book and i wanted to read all of it so me and my husband started in genesis and we went

00:47:25.640 all the way through um and and read everything together and we spent hours a day just talking

00:47:30.960 through it, discussing it. And through that, actually, of course, I had a thousand questions.

00:47:35.280 And so I would ask my husband and he began to realize the things that he grew up believing

00:47:40.260 were not biblical. And through this process, the Lord actually brought him to a saving understanding

00:47:46.420 of the gospel, of truly understanding. He kind of had this weights system in his brain, just do

00:47:52.220 kind of more good than bad, even though he was able to articulate the gospel to me. He himself

00:47:56.520 didn't even actually truly understand um how how that played out yeah so yeah i did just want to

00:48:05.640 say that you were correct that it was gabriel who muhammad alleged visited him and told him and

00:48:12.600 that's such an interesting commonality that you reveal that all of these false gospels and all

00:48:17.740 of these perversions of the truth of christianity there is a prophet who claims that an angel came

00:48:23.900 to preach him another gospel, a restored gospel, a different message that the Christians and in 0.61

00:48:29.340 Islam's case, the Christians and the Jews all got wrong. And it's interesting that Paul says 0.65

00:48:33.980 in Galatians 1.8, even if an angel from heaven, it's like, he's so specific, even if an angel

00:48:39.380 from heaven comes and preaches you a gospel that is different than the one that we've preached to

00:48:43.520 you, like, let him be accursed. That's not right. And so the fact that you started seeing that and

00:48:50.700 you were like, okay, this is just like those other cults out there is pretty amazing. It was

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00:49:24.640 We don't really know what is going on there, but I know with good ranchers that it's guaranteed

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00:49:35.160 have the government importing lots and lots of beef from abroad to try to drive down beef costs.

00:49:40.640 And while that may give some temporary relief, the truth is that it really hurts American farmers.

00:49:46.620 I care about American farmers. I want to put America first, not just when I vote,

00:49:50.060 but also in what I buy and how I eat. I do that with Good Ranchers. They're the real deal.

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00:50:09.080 tell me a little bit more about some of the what you have called like satanic underpinning

00:50:20.060 underpinnings of mormonism that you've realized over your time of being a christian

00:50:25.560 um so yes absolutely i'll get it but i wanted to touch one little part of it and i was having

00:50:32.960 a conversation with it with a mormon actually recently in my direct messages on instagram

00:50:36.380 but he was saying the same thing and i told him galatians 1 8 right so while joseph smith this is

00:50:43.180 huge like what joseph was started i don't even think he knew what it was going to turn into one

00:50:46.880 day but what joseph smith has done what this has grown into is not unique it's not it was actually

00:50:53.880 happening right whenever to the church in galatia in paul's time like he was literally warning them

00:50:59.040 of this exact same thing 2,000 years ago, 1800 years ago in Joseph Smith's case. So it's not

00:51:06.540 new or unique, this exactly what's happening, different angels coming, right? So a few of the

00:51:13.440 things that I had while going through the Bible, one of the first things was in the Garden of Eden

00:51:21.620 with Adam and Eve. So one of the first pictures of the gospel that we have is when Adam and Eve,

00:51:28.580 of course, partake of the fruit, and they brought sin into the world, and they covered themselves

00:51:32.740 with fig leaves. And God killed an animal, right, the first sacrifice, and he gave them animal skins 0.50

00:51:39.580 to cover their sins for them. So they tried to cover their own sins, right, with their own works, 0.81

00:51:44.700 and God made a sacrifice, killed an animal, and covered it for them. So in the Mormon temple, 0.68

00:51:51.560 whenever you are going through and to get your, to receive your endowments, there's a video that

00:51:57.820 everyone has to watch every time you go through. And it is of the fall. And so there's the actual

00:52:02.720 dramatization of the entire interaction with Satan and with Adam and Eve and God walking in the

00:52:07.680 garden, all the things. It goes through the whole story. And Satan turns to the congregation who's

00:52:14.480 in the Mormon temple and says, everyone put on your aprons, right? And the aprons have fig leaves

00:52:20.780 on them so everyone puts on the fig leaves with adam and eve as god is coming into the garden as 0.97

00:52:28.720 god is coming back into the garden and they stay on that and they are actually mormons are buried

00:52:35.840 in their fig leaf apron that is one of the first and whenever i came to that realization it was 0.91

00:52:42.720 like wow just the undoing like i said earlier of of all the work of christ um so of course that is

00:52:49.220 I mean, the only time that you're told to do anything in the temple is from Satan.

00:52:53.360 Satan is literally telling you to put the fig leaf on, and then you keep it on.

00:52:57.160 Another one would be the veil for the temple.

00:53:00.800 So, of course, when Jesus died, the veil was torn.

00:53:03.420 Like, God no longer had to dwell.

00:53:05.380 He then could dwell in us.

00:53:06.880 We are the temple, right, when the Holy Spirit came.

00:53:09.320 And in Mormonism, of course, they've re-erected the temple.

00:53:12.640 There is a veil that is put back up, and there is a holy of holies. 0.83

00:53:16.340 it's called the celestial room and that is where god's spirit dwells so they've undone the work of

00:53:21.800 christ even in that um so there's just so many ways like even though yes the word jesus is in

00:53:30.580 the name the the undoing of the work of christ is so evident throughout the mormon religion and

00:53:37.000 teachings wow which of course satanic yeah it absolutely is so you talk about this moment and

00:53:46.220 then how the Lord just kind of brought you both near and sanctified both you and your

00:53:50.080 husband, your husband kind of coming out of cultural Christianity, you understanding what

00:53:54.660 Christianity really is to talk about how this started to shape your family.

00:54:01.060 Absolutely.

00:54:03.000 So of course, before, like we parented our children, we loved our kids, but there was

00:54:09.000 no understanding of even parenting biblically.

00:54:14.580 So, of course, a lot of things changed in our family of how we parented, how we disciplined

00:54:20.320 them, what we talked about, using God's word, using scripture, being consistent with our

00:54:26.580 discipline, just the standards of our family and why, and presenting the gospel.

00:54:30.420 Of course, all of those things were just a dramatic shift for our family almost immediately.

00:54:37.720 Yeah.

00:54:38.380 Go into more detail about that.

00:54:40.260 What did that look like?

00:54:41.020 How did that affect your marriage?

00:54:42.680 You've talked about like you wanted a career at one point.

00:54:45.440 You didn't necessarily see yourself as a homeschooling mom of six, but then that's

00:54:49.820 what happened.

00:54:51.440 Yes.

00:54:52.280 I did not want kids.

00:54:53.820 I wanted a career.

00:54:54.800 My husband wanted me to have a career.

00:54:56.160 We both wanted those things together.

00:54:58.900 Afterwards, I still definitely was, this of course took time.

00:55:03.180 This was not immediate.

00:55:04.700 I still had that influence of the world just saying that you're stuck, right?

00:55:10.580 Even though like I needed to take care of these kids, we wanted to homeschool.

00:55:13.780 There was those influences.

00:55:14.740 I wanted to be, we wanted to be the main influences of our kids.

00:55:18.340 We wanted them to have a biblical worldview.

00:55:20.300 That was our main goal with bringing them home.

00:55:23.200 Of course, that was from the Lord.

00:55:25.260 And I still had this thought though, that I was stuck, that I just, I was a prisoner

00:55:31.400 in my house.

00:55:32.600 I just, and I remember saying, okay, like the Lord has called me to be the carer of

00:55:39.120 my home, the nurturer of my children. That is the place that he has placed me. And so I started to

00:55:44.220 pray, Lord, please help me to desire that. This can't be wanting to be outside of my home, yet

00:55:53.580 you have placed me here. Having this resentment, those were all things that were outside influences

00:55:59.080 that of course were not from the Lord. And he, through his goodness and his grace and his

00:56:03.700 sanctification absolutely has taken me and caused me to love homeschooling my kids of course not

00:56:10.780 saying that it's easy every day but love being home love taking care of my family loving the

00:56:15.940 place that he has placed me to be the caretaker and the nurturer of my home and talk about adopting

00:56:23.760 your two boys so we adopted our boys in 2019 they came to live with us in 2019 they were 20 months

00:56:33.260 old and they were three and a half years old. And when we adopted them, that was, I believe,

00:56:40.260 one of the things that the Lord used in hindsight, of course, to bring me very low, to make me really

00:56:48.240 realize just how lacking that I was. I mean, my husband would joke all the time before when we

00:56:57.400 only had two kids, we were like the best parents. Like we should write a parenting book. We're

00:57:02.100 really, really good at this. And then in the beginning of 2019, we had our daughter together.

00:57:07.880 So she was eight months old in October. So the beginning of 2019, we had two kids. By the end

00:57:13.140 of 2019, we had five, two of which were my adopted sons. And so of course, whenever you adopt

00:57:20.320 children, there's a reason that they are needing to be adopted without going into any kind of

00:57:26.060 specific detail. They needed a lot of help and we were extremely ill-prepared and unaware of what

00:57:34.520 was going to be coming in the next few months, two years, actually. And I just got to the end

00:57:41.480 of my rope of myself. It was three days in and we took them to a little church festival to get

00:57:49.720 some candy and jump on some bouncers. And I remember they had never been in a public place

00:57:56.140 like that before. They had never experienced that many people or children or anything when you

00:58:01.780 adopted them. 20 months old and three and a half. Okay. And they were just, we were, we were just

00:58:08.680 unaware. We did not understand what was happening. And so it was that night, three days in that I

00:58:14.780 realized what what have we signed up for because we were just so ill prepared and unaware and so

00:58:22.580 as time went on we were living in Waco at this time and our family both live here in East Texas

00:58:27.080 so that was about three hours away both our families and so through therapies and through

00:58:32.020 different um things that one of my sons needed because of his um trauma that they had gone

00:58:40.000 through. The therapist told me, is there any family that lives near you? And we said, no.

00:58:47.060 And she said, for someone like him, you need to be around family because you need to be able to

00:58:53.720 have a break. You need to have that obligation of family to help you when you need help.

00:59:00.180 He had some severe behavioral struggles. It was very hard to go out in public.

00:59:07.700 It was all day long, every day that he just struggled with trauma. PTSD is basically what it was. And so I asked her, will he ever grow out of this? Like when he's 16 years old, will we still be doing this?

00:59:27.840 And she said, there is not enough data to be able to tell you whether or not, because usually these children are the ones that bounce around from home to home to home and eventually go into society to be the menaces of society.

00:59:41.680 They usually do not stay in one family.

00:59:45.420 And so there just is not enough data to be able to tell you what this will look like when he's 16.

00:59:49.740 and that was really hard to hear but at that moment of course my husband said we're packing

00:59:56.060 up and we're moving back to east texas to be with both our families and so we moved back here and

01:00:01.320 there was a lot of hard struggles that we went through um just day by day relying on the lord

01:00:08.960 there was many times even my mom who is still mormon would say kylie i don't know how you're

01:00:13.800 doing this and i would say mom i don't know how either it's the lord like i'm i'm not doing this

01:00:17.820 the Lord is carrying me through this every day. Um, and it was the hardest thing to this day that

01:00:23.300 we've ever gone through. But, um, right now they are 10 and eight years old and you would have

01:00:30.980 no idea that they had any kind of past like that at all. Um, there has been such redemption and

01:00:39.120 grace and beauty that has come out of their story, the sanctification that the Lord has put me

01:00:45.560 through for good um because of them i just i am so grateful um but they they absolutely you would

01:00:55.540 you would have no idea and there's been many families it's such a taboo subject to discuss

01:00:59.900 adoption and how hard it is um a lot of people feel a lot of shame and guilt admitting that there

01:01:06.120 is that it's hard or that you have resentment or there's their little children why would you

01:01:10.700 have those feelings, like you're ashamed of that. And every adoptive family that I have spoken to

01:01:16.740 who have identical children to my son who struggled the most, it was identical, identical

01:01:24.280 situations, identical stories. And just the hope that they say that my son brings them

01:01:31.460 to know that there is light on the other side of that, to know that just keep pushing,

01:01:38.220 keep pouring into them, trusting the Lord, praying with them, discipling them, pushing

01:01:42.640 them along, and that there is hope, which has been such a blessing that I wasn't expecting

01:01:48.880 to be able to be a hope and a light in this situation for other people who struggle through

01:01:56.780 adoption or foster care.

01:01:58.440 Yeah.

01:01:59.100 You've talked about overcoming kind of what's called like mom rage or feeling overstimulated

01:02:05.040 or feeling burdened.

01:02:06.040 And obviously, that's a really big conversation right now with a lot of the stuff that's going

01:02:11.160 on online.

01:02:11.940 So can you talk more about that, like how the Lord sanctified you through that?

01:02:16.280 Absolutely.

01:02:17.240 I, of course, like most mothers, don't realize how much of an anger problem you have until 1.00

01:02:23.860 you have these little humans that you can't control.

01:02:28.140 So I definitely had anger struggles, anger issues, anger problems.

01:02:33.420 I was just always felt like a teapot that was just ready to boil it at any moment.

01:02:38.880 And I remember, and of course it was really hard.

01:02:41.780 And so just having this overstimulation, having this already underlying anger issue that I had,

01:02:46.520 these things just sitting there.

01:02:47.700 I remember one day when all of the kids were really small and we were still living in Waco

01:02:50.940 and it was just in the thick of it.

01:02:53.320 And so, you know, if you can imagine at this time I had a 10 year old, six year old, three

01:02:56.100 and a half year old, 20 month old and eight month old.

01:02:58.160 and two of those children needed so much extra special attention and care and so I remember

01:03:04.560 one day like the Lord stopping me in my laundry room and I just had this thought that if you don't

01:03:12.420 get this under control you are going to do something that you are going to regret that is

01:03:17.640 going to put you in jail and ruin your life and everyone else's life around you and it just it

01:03:24.120 stopped me immediately. And I just knew that that was the truth. I then after that became very open

01:03:31.640 to the Christians who are around me at that time about what was going on, how I was feeling.

01:03:39.300 And that is something that to this day, if you know me in real life, I'm a very, very open book

01:03:44.380 because I'm so, so free and so glad that we don't have to pretend I am sinful. You are sinful. We

01:03:51.300 are all struggling with this sin struggle and we don't have to hide it and pretend like it's not

01:03:54.660 there we are actually commanded to confess it to one another and pray for one another and what

01:03:59.720 freedom and joy that is to be able to have the people around you speak into your life and give

01:04:05.100 you counsel and you don't have to hide it and so there's just so much freedom and so i found in my

01:04:10.940 church body just being able to talk about it and that i wasn't alone i was not this was not an

01:04:15.820 isolated event there was plenty of other mothers that were dealing and and going through very

01:04:20.100 similar things, just having this anger and this rage. And I remember one person that I was

01:04:26.300 discussing this with, and he told me, he was part of our church body, and he was over for dinner

01:04:30.480 one night. And he said, my dad had anger issues as well. And he read this devotional book. And he

01:04:37.500 said, after he read this book, my dad was a different man. And so he said, I want to buy

01:04:42.400 this book for you. And I want you to read it. And I read this book. And of course, it starts with

01:04:47.540 the gospel very clearly. And it's saturated with scripture. And one of the things that it said was

01:04:52.800 the percentage of people who struggle with anger issues is 100% of people. And so it goes through

01:04:59.460 this day by day, just it's, it's saturated with scripture. It's, it's beautiful. And I totally

01:05:05.620 recommend it. It's anger, calming your heart of anger. It's something like that. I need to find

01:05:11.920 the actual link to it. I've given it out to so many of fellow moms that I no longer actually

01:05:16.580 have a copy. We need to buy another copy for our home because I was just telling my husband

01:05:19.340 to reread it. But through it, it is a very applicable scripture-saturated devotional

01:05:26.600 that takes you day by day, step by step, realizing what you are, realizing where this is coming from,

01:05:33.240 what God has to say about it, what we are to do with this struggle that all of us face.

01:05:38.940 And it absolutely was the thing that God used to transform my mind to, of course, I still

01:05:46.180 like, I'm not perfect, of course, but it just felt like I was shackled to this anger that

01:05:51.460 I had.

01:05:52.420 And through that, the Lord just freed me from that in such a magnificent way.

01:05:59.060 And even my husband says, like, just the person that you were and just over just you

01:06:04.200 can see the sanctification throughout, of course, our time from being saved to now.

01:06:11.940 Yeah, I think it's called Anger Calming Your Heart, a 31-day Christian devotional by Robert

01:06:19.120 D. Jones.

01:06:19.960 Is that what it is?

01:06:21.140 Yes, that is it.

01:06:22.740 Okay, I just wanted to make sure because I'm sure a lot of people are listening and it's

01:06:25.520 like, oh my gosh, that's me.

01:06:26.860 I need that.

01:06:27.520 So I can even link it in the description of this episode.

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01:07:28.320 changing everyday work at nutsuite.com slash Allie. And then just to kind of close us, when and why

01:07:40.480 did you decide to start sharing? Yeah, some of it's everyday funny life and all of that, but also

01:07:46.060 start sharing about your faith and your journey online. So I, to back it up just a little, I have

01:07:53.740 always, I never really wanted to explicitly name myself necessarily as a Christian online,

01:07:59.380 not because I was ashamed of that, but more I wanted to have everyone's ear. I wanted to be

01:08:06.800 able to influence, like whether you're a Christian or not, you don't may not know it, but I'm actually

01:08:11.400 influencing you with the goodness of the Lord. So whether you're a Christian or not, we all benefit

01:08:15.720 from having the influence of loving your husband, loving your children. Of course, that stuff just

01:08:21.020 bleeds out of me. So that was my initial thought was just being able to be an influence and a light

01:08:24.960 in a very dark place. But I started, I shared one video and it was about, you know, you think I

01:08:30.840 drink too much coffee while I was a Mormon for 25 years. So I have some catching up to do.

01:08:35.340 And in the comments, there was just a few people were like, oh my gosh, like share that lore. 0.90

01:08:38.800 You're an ex-Mormon. Oh my gosh. And so I was, and so I was, I go through BSF and it was, we were in 0.70

01:08:44.200 chapter one and it was where Paul is talking about not being ashamed of the gospel for it is the

01:08:49.580 power of salvation. And so I said, okay, Lord, you have given me this platform. I've never,

01:08:56.200 you know, I have had the thought to share like my testimony for a while, but now here we are.

01:09:00.960 There's people that are asking for it. So you five, I hope you're happy because I fully planned

01:09:06.200 on sharing this. It's an eight minute long video. It's about Christianity. It's not something that

01:09:11.660 I ever expected. I was expecting to post that and to send myself to the gallows to be hanged. 0.97

01:09:16.800 I never thought that it would do anything or go anywhere.

01:09:21.560 And so I decided to share it.

01:09:23.800 And it's been such a, it's just a testament to the Lord.

01:09:27.880 I've always said that the Lord is over the algorithms.

01:09:30.420 He's over everything.

01:09:31.560 And I think it's just more of a testament to that, like of all the things to go, to

01:09:36.120 explode for this to be that.

01:09:38.340 And what a blessing.

01:09:39.380 At the end, I share the gospel and what a beautiful opportunity it's been to have so

01:09:43.560 many people be able to hear my testimony, what the Lord has done in my life, and then to share

01:09:47.820 the gospel and have so many people be able to hear it. Yeah. Praise God. Well, Kylie, thank you so

01:09:53.760 much. Thanks for sharing so many avenues of like where the Lord has sanctified you and being open

01:09:58.840 about that and your family. I know people are going to want to like pray for you, pray for your

01:10:05.320 family are your parents still mormons yes all of my family is still mormon okay well this is a very

01:10:14.480 praying audience so i know they're going to want to pray for kylie's parents and your family as

01:10:20.100 i'm sure you've shared the gospel with them many times but just that their hearts would be fertile

01:10:23.360 soil for the truth and thank you so much for being unashamed i really appreciate you everyone

01:10:28.420 should follow her on instagram it's kylie three y's one m kylie m thank you so much kylie

01:10:35.040 Thank you, Allie.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - October 16, 2026

Ep. 1409 ｜ Ex-Mormon Hears the True Gospel —and Everything Changes ｜ Kighley Medrano

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