Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - November 11, 2026


Ep 1420 ｜ If You Take An SSRI, Should You Get Pregnant？ Answering Listener Questions

Ep 1419 ｜ Speaking in Tongues： What the Bible Actually Says

Episode Stats


Length

50 minutes

Words per minute

181.9

Word count

9,224

Sentence count

553

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Toxicity

2

sentences flagged

Hate speech

18

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00 I unfortunately was put on psychiatric medications as a child and I decided I wanted to come off of
00:00:05 these medications in order to have a child and I'm down to my last one. I'm about halfway off
00:00:11 but unfortunately I'm not able to get off at this time and although I'm on a lower dose I still
00:00:16 worry about it. So I just wanted to call and ask your thoughts on this. You are already willing to
00:00:21 show your child that kind of love that only a mother is willing to show their child by trying
00:00:26 to get yourself as healthy as possible? Is it possible to still be healthy for your child
00:00:32 physically and mentally at this point? If you went ahead and got pregnant on the current dosage 0.98
00:00:38 where you are, I think you need to talk to your doctor. I think that you need to get a second and 1.00
00:00:41 third opinion. You are doing a really hard thing for the baby that you haven't even yet. And that's
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00:01:34 Hey y'all, welcome to Relatable.
00:01:36 Hope everyone is having a wonderful day, a wonderful week.
00:01:39 Thank you guys so much.
00:01:40 Those of you who have sent your voicemails,
00:01:42 we have a wide range of really interesting questions
00:01:45 that I think that y'all are going to benefit from. Y'all really make me think every time
00:01:49 you send in these questions. So without further ado, let's go ahead and get into it. We've got
00:01:54 voicemail number one, how to deal with estranged parents. My father and stepmother are both
00:02:03 at this point estranged from our lives. My stepmother is an addict and my father is an
00:02:13 enabler. They have no part in my children's lives and the drug addiction has plagued our family for 0.90
00:02:22 decades at this point. As my faith has grown stronger and my convictions as well, I am curious
00:02:31 how I should approach the conversation of wanting to honor my mother and father and
00:02:39 keeping my family safe at the same time and rebuilding a relationship, but also being
00:02:44 honest and calling them out on the sin that they're living in that no one has the courage
00:02:49 to boldly say to them. So thanks for your advice. Well, thanks so much for sharing this. And I know
00:02:57 this has got to be probably just an underlying heartbreak that you're always dealing with.
00:03:02 Even as an adult, not being able to have a solid relationship with your parents
00:03:06 leaves a void. We think there's going to be some easier time to lose a parent,
00:03:11 whether it's through estrangement or through death or even parents divorcing. If you're an
00:03:16 adult and there's just not, there is something that we get out of having a cohesive marriage to,
00:03:24 to look at in our parents and to have that fill something in our lives and in our kids' lives.
00:03:30 So I'm just so sorry that you're going through this pain. Know that it's not weird or it's not
00:03:36 out of the norm for you to feel the pain that I can hear in your voice over this, it really is a
00:03:42 big deal. And it is a tough balance with anyone that you love between telling them the truth,
00:03:49 wanting them desperately to see their sin and rely on Jesus, because you know, that's the only
00:03:53 way that things are really going to change and building a relationship with them, knowing that
00:03:59 telling them the truth is going to push them away. So what we know is within the big 10,
00:04:06 is a commandment to honor our father and mother. In this case, it is your stepmother. She is
00:04:13 filling that role of a mother, and we are called to honor them. We are called to respect them. We
00:04:18 are called in any way that we can to defer to them. And that is accompanied by a promise so
00:04:24 that it may go well with you and you may live long in the land. Now, I do just want to free
00:04:30 you from any idea that that means that you have to facilitate an everyday relationship with them
00:04:35 where they have full access to you and full access to your kids, it doesn't sound like in this
00:04:40 situation that would be responsible. It doesn't sound like in this situation that would be healthy
00:04:45 and good. And I do not think that that is necessary in order to love and respect them.
00:04:53 The first, and I think the probably healthiest way that you can honor and respect them is by
00:04:59 praying for them relentlessly. I don't know, but it's possible and probably natural for you to feel
00:05:06 a little bit of bitterness against them. It's selfish what they're doing. It's selfish that
00:05:11 they are choosing themselves and their own desires over the good of their family. And it would be
00:05:19 natural for you to feel a bit of resentment. And yet Ephesians calls us, God calls us in the book
00:05:25 of Ephesians, to put away all bitterness and wrath and anger, along with all malice. We are
00:05:31 to be tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave us. That is a really big task
00:05:37 that is only accomplished through the Holy Spirit. So how do you honor parents that are doing you
00:05:43 wrong, that are choosing to be estranged from you through their behavior? You pray for them.
00:05:48 You ask the Holy Spirit for help with forgiving them, with feeling tenderhearted toward them
00:05:54 as God feels toward you in Christ and ridding yourself of all bitterness and wrath and anger.
00:06:00 So I would say honoring them right now starts in your heart and how you feel toward them and
00:06:06 what you think about them. And also we are called to pray for our enemies that in this case,
00:06:11 you feel some enmity toward your parents. I also think that through prayer and through
00:06:18 surrendering those feelings to the Lord, that there could be that the Lord opens up opportunities
00:06:26 and gives you wisdom for how you can reach out to your parents to be able to foster
00:06:31 that relationship. And that relationship, again, doesn't have to be spending time with them every
00:06:37 day. It could just be a simple, how are you thinking of you praying for you? Here's a Bible
00:06:43 verse I read today, it made me think of you. Maybe it's a text and maybe that grows over time
00:06:49 as the Lord works on their heart, because you're also praying for them that the Lord would change
00:06:53 them. And as you're pushing them in the right direction through the Holy spirit, by sharing a
00:06:58 little bit of truth, by showing a little bit of love, by allowing a little bit of access
00:07:02 through communication, hopefully the Lord will open the door for you to be able to share truth
00:07:09 to them. I don't know that every interaction or those first interactions with them as you try to
00:07:14 re-engage have to be, Hey, you're in your sin and you need to get out of it. I understand the
00:07:18 desperation to do that. And I don't know the entirety of the situation and maybe it's a life
00:07:22 or death circumstance. And you really feel like you just got to lay it on, lay it out there
00:07:27 completely clearly right up front. Maybe that's a possibility. I'm not saying that that's always
00:07:31 wrong, but I remember tactics by Greg Kokel and how he uses the analogy kind of pushing the ball
00:07:37 down the field. You don't have to score the touchdown in every conversation. Understand
00:07:42 that as you pray for them, that God is not just using you to lead them toward the truth,
00:07:47 that God loves them and cares for them more than you do. He sees them more than you do.
00:07:52 He created them in their mother's womb and he cares what happens to their body and mind and soul.
00:07:57 And he's not just using you. He might be using hundreds or thousands of people and their daily
00:08:03 interactions in their lives to push them toward the truth. So pray for that. Pray that you would
00:08:08 be one of those hundreds of people that God is using to desperately knock on their door to say,
00:08:14 Hey, I'm here. I want to redeem you from this. I want to save you from this. So I would say
00:08:18 without knowing all the details of this, and obviously I would never want you to do anything
00:08:22 that's going to put you or your children in danger, but that's the initial advice that I
00:08:28 would give you? What can you do that you know the Lord is calling you to as a Christian,
00:08:34 as a daughter who is meant to honor her parents? It is not on your shoulders entirely to see them
00:08:42 repent and to see them be healed. You are one of hopefully many, many Christians who will be a part
00:08:47 of their testimony one day. So that's what I would say. The responsibility is on you to honor them,
00:08:53 not them to honor you. And that is, I think, how you start honoring them.
00:08:58 If you are looking for a Christmas gift for a young woman in your life that will actually be
00:09:06 meaningful, that she can refer back to throughout the years, that's really going to help her grow
00:09:12 in wisdom and knowledge, then you need to look at A Woman's Guide, Seven Rules for Success in 0.82
00:09:18 Business and Life. This is written by the CEO of Concerned Women for America, President Penny Nance.
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00:09:30 to stand firm in their convictions.
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00:09:38 level in what's going on in their communities and politics to advocate for children and 0.94
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00:09:44 And this book is just a great starting place for the young woman in your life.
00:09:50 Sets really good foundations for her as she is thinking through how to navigate the world
00:09:55 with clarity and courage. When you give a gift of $20 or more to Concerned Women for America,
00:10:00 you receive a copy of Penny's book. Go to concernedwomen.org slash Allie, concernedwomen.org
00:10:06 slash Allie. All right, let's go to the next question. It's about embryo adoption.
00:10:18 Hey, Allie. I was calling in. I really appreciate everything you do. I've been listening for years.
00:10:23 And I just wanted to get your take on embryo adoption.
00:10:28 My husband and I are looking at that as a way to expand our family.
00:10:32 And we've listened to all your stuff on IVF and would agree for sure with your position
00:10:37 on that, but wondered what your thoughts were on embryo adoption.
00:10:40 Is that something that you think supports the IVF industry because it's kind of giving
00:10:46 an out for that?
00:10:48 Or if it's more like regular adoption where you're just redeeming something that's gone
00:10:53 wrong.
00:10:53 yeah you know what this is such a great question and i will say as i've thought through this and
00:11:00 the ethics of ivf and the just the ivf industry and how much money it makes and just the basic
00:11:08 principles of supply and demand that that is difficult it's a difficult question to answer
00:11:14 you have all these babies these little souls on ice more than a million in the united states many
00:11:19 of whom have been abandoned their parents are paying the freezer fee indefinitely they're
00:11:24 waiting to be thawed and discarded some parents are willing to adopt out their embryos to a couple
00:11:31 who is looking to um adopt and we just we don't know the fate and then you have all of these
00:11:36 people all of these children also made in the image of god who are just a little bit older
00:11:42 happen to already be birthed who are in the adoption system who are in the foster care system
00:11:47 who also need love and care. Those kids are more, I'm not saying that this should be the case,
00:11:55 but it is often the case, less desirable so often from people who are looking to adopt,
00:12:03 because understandably, a lot of people want to adopt a newborn. They might want to adopt an
00:12:09 embryo. And it's just harder to place in a home, those kids who are older. And I'm not saying that
00:12:16 any one of those little people that I just described are more valuable or more deserving
00:12:22 than the other. But I would just really pray to anyone who is thinking about adoption, Lord,
00:12:28 what are you asking me to do? What are you asking me to do? Can you give me wisdom? And maybe there
00:12:36 is not a sin or not sin answer when it comes to what kind of child to adopt, but I would just
00:12:42 Lord, can you lead me in the right direction? Can you show me what is right? If it comes to
00:12:46 embryo adoption and like, that is the Lord's will for you to be a part of the story of
00:12:50 redemption and saving the life of a little embryo, which really matters. Like I would ask the Lord
00:12:57 to lead you to just the right couple. There might be a couple out there who did IVF and gosh, 0.96
00:13:02 they didn't realize the ethical quandary that they would be in until they created those babies. 1.00
00:13:06 and now they've got three babies on ice that for whatever reason, she can't give birth to
00:13:12 themselves. Maybe they're looking for that redemption. Maybe you're the answer to that
00:13:16 redemption story, but also maybe there's a seven-year-old kid in foster care who has never
00:13:22 known love that needs a loving and secure home in you and what your husband can provide. And so
00:13:29 this story of redemption, just, it might look different than what you initially wanted or
00:13:34 what you envisioned. And I would just really pray about that. I'm sure you already have,
00:13:38 I'm sure you already have, but that's, I would pray for a lot of clarity and direction there.
00:13:43 And I think the best route to go when it comes to embryo adoption is trying to find the couple
00:13:49 that specifically wants you to adopt their embryo. I just have a lot of skepticism about these
00:13:55 agencies, about the IVF industry in general, these fertility clinics. I just, I really don't trust
00:14:03 them. I really don't just because of their record in kind of viewing human life as less than. Um,
00:14:11 I certainly don't think it's wrong to adopt embryos, but, um, yeah, I think it, it just like
00:14:17 anything takes a lot of careful consideration. And of course, the last thing that we want to do
00:14:23 is create more demand for embryos so that these agencies feel like, okay, we got to crank more
00:14:29 out. We got to harvest more eggs. We got to get more sperm donations, sperm selling so we can
00:14:33 create these embryos. But I'm not really worried about that yet. Right now we got a surplus. We
00:14:38 got a surplus of embryos on ice that do need to be saved and redeemed somehow. Yeah. So seek the
00:14:45 Lord on that a little bit more. Let's go to voicemail number three. This has to just do
00:14:51 with a difficult season, fertility, job struggles, feeling hopeless. So I'm a young woman in my
00:14:58 late 20s and I'm in what I call a season of stuck. Our jobs have not been progressing well.
00:15:07 My husband feels like he can't promote in his job well. We have been battling infertility
00:15:14 for five years with no end in sight. We are proactively searching doctor's advice and
00:15:23 obviously we will not be pursuing IVF, but I often feel like I'm losing time to have a child or to
00:15:30 be able to become a stay-at-home wife. Is this normal to feel like this in your late 20s?
00:15:37 And what advice would you give someone like me? Thanks in advance.
00:15:41 Yes, gosh, we have all been through, my husband and I certainly have those seasons before.
00:15:47 Every single one of us has been through that season where it feels like not just one thing
00:15:51 isn't going great, but everything seems, there seems to be like a kink in the hose. Like we're
00:15:57 trying, we're moving forward. We're doing as much as we can, yet we just keep on getting stuck and
00:16:02 things aren't breaking through. Now, if you go to some kind of health and wealth preacher,
00:16:07 or if you go to some self-help, self-love guru, they will say, you got to unlock these blessings
00:16:13 by praying this way, by doing this, by sowing a financial seed, and then God will come through
00:16:19 for you. And I think it's tempting whenever we're going through a season of drought,
00:16:23 a season of doubt, a season of feeling stuck to look for those quick fixes, especially if there
00:16:29 is like a spiritual veneer, a Christian veneer over them. And so I'm not saying that you are
00:16:34 going that direction. You sound like a very discerning person, but that's just a warning
00:16:38 to all of us that, you know, I think about Jesus being led into the wilderness and that's where he
00:16:44 was tempted by Satan. I think of all the times of isolation and tragedy, like with Job, that
00:16:51 Satan then uses those very vulnerable, difficult moments to tempt us into believing false teaching,
00:17:00 tempting us to take the easy way out. And so I would just pray to the Lord for strength and
00:17:07 for wisdom and for clarity for both your husband and you as you go through things over and over
00:17:11 again. And it just feels like you can't catch a break to stay rooted in God's word, to stay rooted
00:17:16 in Christian community, stay rooted in biblical community. Even when it seems like everyone in
00:17:21 your small group is getting pregnant, even when it seems like everyone around you is doing great,
00:17:27 their marriages are all great. They're getting in promotions. They're going on these grand
00:17:31 vacations and you guys feel like you can barely get by. Look, that is difficult. It's also an
00:17:36 opportunity for sanctification because God knew all of that when he told us to do away with all
00:17:42 bitter rivalry and jealousy. He knew every single thing that you would be going through when he
00:17:47 says, don't be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition with
00:17:52 Thanksgiving, present your request to God and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding
00:17:56 will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus. That's Philippians 4. He knew every single
00:18:01 thing that you and your husband would be going through on a daily basis when those words were
00:18:06 given to Paul to write to the church at Philippi. Every single thing. When Jesus says, don't worry
00:18:12 about what you're going to eat tomorrow. Don't worry about tomorrow at all. Sufficient for the
00:18:17 day is its own trouble. He knew every single thing that you would go through. He knew your
00:18:21 fertility struggles. He knew your husband's job struggles. And still he said unequivocally,
00:18:27 don't fear. Don't worry. Don't be anxious. That's the God we serve, not the God who is looking down
00:18:33 and being like, wow, you're right. I don't know. Out of luck, I guess. I don't know how you're
00:18:38 going to figure this out. That's not what God is doing. Y'all know I love Good Ranchers, but I am
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00:19:50 God cares so much more about our holiness than he does our happiness. He cares so much more
00:19:55 about our spiritual health than he does our physical health? No, he cares about all those
00:20:00 things. Don't get me wrong. He cares about our bodies, our minds, our souls, our marriages.
00:20:05 He cares about every single one of those things, but he cares about our sanctification even more.
00:20:10 Is this a season of sanctification? Is the patience that you are learning, the waiting
00:20:15 that you are learning, the trusting that you are learning, the releasing of envy and bitterness
00:20:21 and jealousy that you are learning, the contentment you are learning, is it building up for you
00:20:27 spiritual perseverance, spiritual endurance? And in fact, we do read in scripture that all
00:20:35 of the trials we are going through, this momentary affliction is preparing for us a greater glory in
00:20:45 heaven that far outweighs all of this. Isn't that crazy that every single bad thing we go through
00:20:51 and they are bad, we don't have to pretend like they're not, is doing something in the life of
00:20:57 the believer. Nothing in this season is wasted time. And that's what it sounds like you feel
00:21:02 like. You feel like you're wasting your time. You're in your late twenties. You already wanted
00:21:06 to be a mom by now. You don't know what to do. How many years are you going to have to wait,
00:21:10 be a mom? You're just wasting time. No minute is wasted in the life of the believer when everything 0.76
00:21:15 is done for the glory of God. That's what we're told to do. And everything you do, do it for the
00:21:19 glory of God, whether you eat or drink, work heartily as for the Lord and not for man.
00:21:24 Everything that is done for the glory of God in the life of a believer is unwasted. So I've said
00:21:31 this a lot. Don't buy into the idea that your life and your fulfillment of Christian womanhood 1.00
00:21:39 only starts when you have a child, when you become a mom. That's not true. Psalm 16 tells us that the
00:21:46 fullness of joy exists in the presence of Jesus at his right hand. And you have access to him
00:21:54 with boldness and confidence because of your faith in him. That's what Hebrews tells us.
00:21:58 And so you have access to the fullness of joy right now. Not when your husband gets a promotion,
00:22:03 not when you're able to be a stay at home mom, not when you have a child, not when XYZ comes
00:22:08 together, you have access to the fullness of joy right now. Easier said than done, 100%. Way easier
00:22:15 said than done, but God helps us do things that are easier said than done. He makes them possible.
00:22:21 So that's what I would say. Stay rooted, rooted and grounded in love. That's what Ephesians
00:22:26 calls us to do. And as for all of those other things, God knows what you need. It's not wrong
00:22:32 to pray for or work toward a promotion. It's not wrong to switch jobs. It's not wrong to figure
00:22:37 out what's going on in your body and his body health-wise to make sure that everything is all
00:22:42 good that you should be able to healthily conceive a child. There's nothing wrong with
00:22:47 taking proactive steps in prayer and trust to do those things. I think that's all good.
00:22:52 But at the same time, we have to do the really difficult work of giving our anxieties to Jesus
00:22:58 and letting him do with them what he will. All right, let's go with the next one. Let's do
00:23:08 voicemail number nine. This is a great topical question. Should women who get abortions be held
00:23:14 as responsible as the practitioners, nurses, abortion providers who are actually doing the
00:23:20 abortions? Voicemail nine. Hi, Allie. I want to thank you for changing my perspective on abortion.
00:23:27 I was wondering what your thoughts were on the abolitionist movement. I've heard you say that
00:23:32 you want abortion to be illegal, but I wonder how we can do that without holding the women 1.00
00:23:37 accountable for their crime legally. I've heard the pro-life side say that they want abortionists 0.98
00:23:44 to be held accountable only, but in the case of birth control pills, the mother is not seen by
00:23:50 a physician and premeditates and executes the murder herself. Thank you. I look forward to
00:23:58 hearing your response. So a couple things that I would say is that in order to get birth control
00:24:04 pills, you do have to be seen by a doctor. That is something that's prescribed. As far as I know,
00:24:09 you can't get birth control pills over the counter. Now, if that has changed, then someone
00:24:14 please let me know. But I did just want to clarify that the, the reason why I'll answer,
00:24:19 there are many facets to your really good question, but the reason why I wouldn't say
00:24:24 that a woman who takes birth control pills should be prosecuted for abortion is just because
00:24:28 like every other form of like killing of people outside of the womb, there has to be intent
00:24:36 and there has to be knowledge there. Not that there's no accountability whatsoever in the law
00:24:41 for say manslaughter or negligence or something like that. But if we are going to make the case
00:24:48 for murder, there has to be a level of knowledge and intent. And women who are taking birth control 1.00
00:24:55 pills and they're sexually active. They might not even know this. You might not. Some people 0.99
00:25:01 out there might not even know this, but there is a potential abortifacient aspect to birth control
00:25:08 pills in that it might allow for the fertilization of that embryo, but not the implantation. And if
00:25:15 we believe that life starts at fertilization, then it is possible that birth control is making
00:25:21 the uterus inhospitable for that little life to be implanted and grow, which would be inducing
00:25:28 the death of that little baby, of that tiny little embryonic life. So that is why there's 0.83
00:25:34 an ethical issue with birth control pills. That's why I would say don't take hormonal birth control.
00:25:40 I'm totally against hormonal birth control, not only for the ethical moral reason,
00:25:43 but also for health reasons. But I also wouldn't say that it is equivalent to a woman knowingly 0.99
00:25:49 paying a hitman to kill her child. Now, when a woman with full knowledge, not being coerced by
00:25:56 anyone, not being, uh, not the facts, not being hidden from her knows with full knowledge that 0.56
00:26:04 she is paying someone to kill the life inside her, or she is paying, she knows what she's doing
00:26:10 and she's paying for abortion pills to kill the life inside her. I do think that there should be 0.90
00:26:16 due process, just like with everyone else, to look at all of the different factors of the scenario.
00:26:21 But I absolutely think that there should be legal accountability for that. And it makes no logical
00:26:27 sense or legal sense to say that there should not, because that would be unequal weights and
00:26:32 measures. Because if we believe that babies inside the womb are just as valuable as people outside
00:26:37 the womb, if we believe that all babies from the moment of conception onward are human beings made
00:26:42 in God's image just as much as a five-year-old or a 55-year-old, then of course we believe that
00:26:47 taking their life has to come with consequences. Just like I think taking a teenager's life or an
00:26:53 elderly person's life has to come with legal consequences. We can't be like the left. We
00:26:57 can't be like pro-choicers who make this personhood and value distinction between a person inside the
00:27:05 womb and outside the womb based on size and age and location. Those are very arbitrary and flippant
00:27:09 reasons, um, to, uh, to justify the illegal killing of someone. So I do think that there
00:27:17 should be legal consequences for knowingly murdering your child or paying someone to
00:27:21 murder your child. I don't think you can make a good case when someone is taking hormonal
00:27:26 birth control pills. Quick pause to tell you about voice of the martyrs. I love this organization.
00:27:37 They have supported Relatable for a while, and I just love their mission.
00:27:42 I love their story.
00:27:43 I got to meet some of the women from Voice of the Martyrs at Share the Arrows.
00:27:48 They are the real deal.
00:27:49 They just care about the persecuted church. 0.71
00:27:51 That's what they've been about since the very beginning.
00:27:54 I've told the story of Sabina Wurmbrand and how she and her husband worked to share the
00:28:00 gospel throughout Eastern Europe at a very dangerous time during Nazi occupation, during
00:28:07 communist rule. And that's what they continue to do to this day, the Voice of the Martyrs,
00:28:12 the organization they started. They equip these persecuted Christians with Bibles, with support,
00:28:19 with help. They spread awareness about the imprisonment, the torture, the rejection
00:28:24 of these Christians throughout the world to people like us who have the resources to help them,
00:28:30 who can pray for them and who can support them in a variety of ways. I think the best first step
00:28:36 is to get a resource from voice of the martyrs called whom shall I fear? It's a daily devotional
00:28:41 that will encourage you to live boldly for Christ right here. And it also supports voice of the
00:28:47 martyrs and persecuted Christians around the world. So when you give just $35 or more, your
00:28:53 gift will sponsor a Christmas care pack for children of persecuted Christians. And you'll
00:28:57 receive a copy of whom shall I fear? VOM delivers Christmas care packages to children living in
00:29:03 some of the most difficult and dangerous places to follow Christ. Go to vom.org slash Allie 2026
00:29:09 vom.org slash Allie 2026 to sponsor a pack and inspire your faith.
00:29:20 Okay. That's my answer on that. Let's back up and do voicemail number eight. Your husband is
00:29:26 Catholic and you are Protestant. Hi, Allie. Thanks for all you do. Love the show. I'm Protestant.
00:29:33 My husband is Catholic and we have two young children. We've been going to a Catholic church
00:29:38 for almost five years since our kids were born. And I have a lot of reservations regarding practices
00:29:43 and beliefs in the Catholic church that I don't see supported by scripture. My husband has suggested
00:29:49 that we trade off Sundays attending Protestant and Catholic churches so the kids are exposed to both.
00:29:54 I'm open to that, but wonder if it's a recipe for confusion or kids feeling like they need to
00:30:00 choose a side. At this point, neither child has been baptized or catechized. I wanted to be
00:30:07 respectful of my husband as the head of our home. So I'm wondering what advice you have
00:30:12 for this situation and navigating an intradenominational home. Thanks so much.
00:30:17 yes look this is hard and i have talked to a lot of people in this in this situation and i uphold
00:30:25 the sanctity of marriage so much and the wife's obligation to submit to her husband as the
00:30:31 spiritual head of the family so much that i'm always extremely careful and any advice that i
00:30:36 give when it comes to disagreements between the husband and the wife because it's so important
00:30:42 that you have people in your life that know you both, that are friends with you, have a relationship
00:30:49 with you, who are walking with you in wisdom. Now, as a Protestant who feels very strongly
00:30:55 about Catholic versus Protestant doctrine, I am not someone who believes that, well, it's no big
00:31:01 deal. Everything comes down in the wash. I think that the differences are a big deal. I think how
00:31:06 we differently define things like grace and justification, the importance and the timing
00:31:11 of baptism, the veneration of Mary, the praying to the saints, how we define intercession and
00:31:16 confession and all of those things. I think that there are big deals. Um, but I want you to walk
00:31:23 in unity with your husband and working these things out. It sounds like he may be open.
00:31:31 It sounds like he may be willing. And I wonder if you are too, to talk to a Christian counselor
00:31:38 about this. Like, I wonder if there are people in the church that you want to attend who would
00:31:44 be willing to delicately, but boldly walk you through this. Because of course, like my desire,
00:31:51 if a Catholic were talking to you, they would say, look, you need to come home to Rome. They 0.96
00:31:56 would be telling you unapologetically that that's what you need to do. And I am going to say that I
00:32:02 want your husband to walk through the word of God with you. Like I want him to work through a lot of
00:32:08 the concerns that you have with you, reading the Bible with you. I don't want you to go your
00:32:12 separate ways. And I agree. I think it causes chaos and confusion when you're switching off
00:32:16 every Sunday. I think that you guys need to be really, really serious about your efforts towards
00:32:23 reconciliation when it comes to the most important thing in your life and the most formative part of
00:32:29 your children. If you want your children to believe nothing, then keep switching off and
00:32:33 don't be united with your husband and what is good right and true that's that's my opinion about that
00:32:38 and i mean god is sovereign over our salvation and souls and all of that but you want a firm
00:32:43 foundation mommy and daddy need to believe the same thing about jesus and mary that's what i
00:32:48 believe and about prayer and confession and about what the church actually is is it the catholic
00:32:53 church is it the universal body of believers is the church's authority inerrant and infallible
00:33:00 on the same level of the word of God or not. These are big things. And you might not think
00:33:04 that they affect how you parent your children. But once you start getting those really hard
00:33:09 theological questions from your kids, you will realize how important it is for you and your
00:33:14 husband to be a spiritual team. So I would just encourage you to seek out wisdom, maybe you
00:33:21 individually from a wise, loving Christian woman in your life and the church that you want to
00:33:27 attend. And I wonder if your husband would come along with you. And I wonder if he would be
00:33:31 willing to read some of the things that you've read. I wonder if he'd be willing to pray along
00:33:37 with you, read the Bible along with you. If he's never been raised in an evangelical church and
00:33:42 he was just raised in the Catholic church, you might be unfamiliar with the Bible. I think that
00:33:46 that is a good place to start, to start studying the Bible together and to pray and to let God
00:33:52 work on this, but this is really, really important for you guys to work on together and figure out.
00:33:58 All right. We've got time for two, maybe three more. Let's go with number seven.
00:34:05 I unfortunately was put on psychiatric medications as a child. I know you interviewed
00:34:11 Brooke Seam and I relate a lot to her story. When I was 27, I decided I wanted to come off
00:34:17 with these medications in order to have a child. And it is extremely, it's a big process and a lot
00:34:25 more difficult than I originally thought. So I started on three medications and I'm down to my
00:34:31 last one. I'm about halfway off, but unfortunately I'm not able to get off at this time. I'm now 32
00:34:37 years old and my husband and I want to start a family, but I know the risks of having children
00:34:44 on these medications. And although I'm on a lower dose, I still worry about it. So I just wanted to
00:34:49 call and ask your thoughts on this. Wow. This is a really big sacrifice that you are willing to make
00:34:58 for your future child. And I just want to say like you are off on the right foot when it comes
00:35:04 to your mentality around parenting. Parents are supposed to do hard things for the well-being of
00:35:09 our kids, not the other way around. The world gets that mixed up a lot. You are already willing
00:35:16 to show your child that kind of love that only a mother is willing to show their child by trying
00:35:21 to get yourself as healthy as possible. That said, I know there is also a balance between
00:35:26 the mental stability that you feel that you may be getting from these medications and your physical
00:35:33 health and knowing the possible effects of the psychiatric drug on your pregnancy and on your
00:35:39 child, do you know exactly the risks that come with the particular dosage of the particular
00:35:46 medication that you are taking? Do you know the risks of getting off of it? It sounds like you
00:35:51 do know the risks of getting off of it. That's why you are saying that you need to stay on for
00:35:55 a little bit longer. Is it possible that you are at the point, and I don't know this because I
00:36:00 I don't know the details and I'm not a doctor, but is it possible that you now where you are
00:36:06 dosage wise, medication wise at the point where the benefits outweigh the risks, the risks to
00:36:14 your pregnancy, the risk to your baby have gone down so much that now the benefits outweigh the
00:36:19 risks. Is it possible to still be healthy for your child physically and mentally at this point,
00:36:26 if you went ahead and got pregnant on the current dosage where you are? I think you really need to 0.89
00:36:30 understand that. I think you need to talk to your doctor. I think that you need to get a second and
00:36:34 third opinion. I think that you need to maybe reach out to, if you can, a couple of the doctors that
00:36:40 we've had on this show. We had a doctor specifically, two doctors who have talked about
00:36:45 the effect of psychiatric drugs on, um, babies inside the womb, babies in utero. And we can link
00:36:52 those past episodes. They're both OBGYNs. Um, well, one was an OBGYN one focused more on these
00:37:00 psychiatric medications. We can link them in the description of this episode who have talked about
00:37:04 that a lot. Can you reach out to them? Can they give recommendations for other people that you
00:37:09 can talk to? I don't have the authority or the knowledge to say, well, you just got to go cold
00:37:14 Turkey. And that's the only healthy way forward right now. I don't know that. I pray that the 0.97
00:37:18 Lord would give you full healing so that you don't have to rely on these medications at all
00:37:22 anymore. Um, but I just don't know. So I would continue to research that continue to see if
00:37:29 maybe you are at a place right now where you actually can healthfully conceive and try to
00:37:33 preserve that stability that you feel these drugs are, are giving you even while having a child in
00:37:39 a healthy way. But again, I just want to encourage you and commend you that you are doing a really
00:37:43 hard thing for the baby that you haven't even met yet. And that's amazing. That is, that's amazing
00:37:51 That in and of itself is a reflection of the love
00:37:54 that God shows for us by sacrificing his son
00:37:56 on the cross for our sins.
00:37:59 Parents make sacrifices for their kids
00:38:02 and that's what you're already doing.
00:38:04 So keep going, keep going on that journey.
00:38:10 Another pause to tell you about every life.
00:38:13 Well, we are getting down to the wire
00:38:15 with this pregnancy, y'all.
00:38:17 And I am about to be in the newborn stage again.
00:38:19 And we're out of diapers with our other three.
00:38:21 But with this one, we're going to be in it again.
00:38:23 We're going to need lots of diapers.
00:38:25 And you could bet that my diapers will be from Every Life because they're awesome.
00:38:28 They work really well.
00:38:29 Wouldn't be using them if they didn't.
00:38:31 But also, they come in premium materials.
00:38:34 So they're clean.
00:38:35 They're good for their skin.
00:38:37 I don't have to worry about all of those allergens and fake stuff that's in so many diapers.
00:38:42 Plus, I love that Every Life aligns with me.
00:38:44 Some of these big diaper companies are actually donating to pro-abortion politicians and pro-abortion causes.
00:38:50 I don't want that.
00:38:51 Totally counterproductive.
00:38:53 So that's why I was partnering with Every Life.
00:38:55 Go to everylife.com.
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00:39:07 All right.
00:39:08 Let's go to, yeah, we'll have time for two more.
00:39:12 Let's go to number six.
00:39:13 Hi, Allie. I love the show. You and I are really aligned in our political and theological beliefs.
00:39:19 I'm also Evangelical Southern Baptist. I have several family members, most notably my dad,
00:39:25 who was raised Catholic, believes in the existence of God, Jesus, and the tenets of Catholicism,
00:39:31 but isn't actively practicing, and I would say probably doesn't have a true relationship with
00:39:36 Christ. I'd best describe him as a cultural Christian who would claim Christ when asked,
00:39:42 but doesn't truly understand the gospel, I have taken your advice and decided to get him an ESV 0.98
00:39:47 study Bible for Father's Day. But beyond that, what would you think would be the most effective
00:39:52 way to reach someone like this with the gospel? I feel like sometimes it's even harder to reach
00:39:56 someone like this who thinks that they're saved because they're generally moral than it is the 1.00
00:40:01 unbeliever. Thanks. Yeah, really great question. I wonder what your relationship with your dad is 1.00
00:40:10 like. I know that if I asked my dad to read something or listen to something and then have
00:40:15 a day that we will be discussing it together, like, Hey dad, I'd love to get lunch with you
00:40:20 this weekend. Will you read this article before that? I just want to talk to you about it and
00:40:24 come at that from a deferential attitude. Not like, Hey dad, I'm trying to teach you and mentor you,
00:40:29 but you know, there are some things in here that I really agree with. Some things I'm confused
00:40:33 about, you know, I would love to talk with you about it. And that's not to feign ignorance or
00:40:36 confusion, but it's genuine. I mean, we don't know everything. And so I would come at that
00:40:41 from a place of humility, but also like wanting him to see what is true. If you have that kind
00:40:45 of relationship where he cares about the friendship, the relationship that he has with
00:40:50 you, that he wants to spend time with you, can you use your preexisting relationship with him
00:40:57 to foster conversations about Christ in the gospel? Maybe it doesn't have to be a, you know,
00:41:02 a delivery of the Roman road. Maybe it doesn't have to just be a Bible study, although the ESV
00:41:13 Bible study, yes and amen, I think that was an awesome, awesome step that you took. I think that
00:41:17 was great. Is there something even shorter, even smaller that he could listen to a podcast, a
00:41:23 sermon, an article, a short book that is really solid that he'd be willing to discuss with you?
00:41:29 remember kind of like what I said earlier, you are one of hundreds of people. Hopefully that
00:41:32 God is planting in his life to point him towards truth. So what is your role that you can play in
00:41:37 that? You're not, you're not the savior. You're not the person that is planting and watering and
00:41:42 giving growth. You're just like one drop of water. You're one part of this. So what contribution can
00:41:49 you play? How can you honor him, foster relationship with him, spend more time with him,
00:41:54 like as a way to have these really important gospel center conversations. And sometimes
00:42:00 like the most compelling and impactful thing that you can do is just ask a really well-timed
00:42:06 question that they've never thought about before. I had conversations like that with people in my
00:42:12 life where I wasn't necessarily trying to persuade them, but I've asked a question or they've asked
00:42:17 a question of me that just made me think. And it was just that question that was like the tipping
00:42:24 point. Like it was just that question that pushed me over into the realm of way. I've never thought
00:42:29 about like that before. Why aren't I doing that? Why don't I think about it like that? Um, like
00:42:35 for example, when someone on Facebook back on long time ago, when I believe there should be 0.54
00:42:39 all these exceptions for abortion legislation and, um, you know, rape and test all of this stuff.
00:42:45 And someone was like, what's the difference between a baby conceived in rape and a baby
00:42:48 not conceived in rape. I never thought about it like that. That person didn't necessarily preach
00:42:53 me for an entire comment. They just asked a well-timed question, totally changed how we
00:42:57 thought about the issue altogether. It could be the same for you. Kind of takes a burden off of
00:43:01 us when we think about it that way too, but good job in being faithful, loving your dad so well,
00:43:06 wanting him to know the most important truth ever, giving him that ESP study Bible. Like
00:43:10 I believe, I hope, but I just, I just feel a belief that one day that study Bible is going
00:43:16 to be his most used item. And I just pray that God is going to do a work in his heart and use
00:43:24 you as part of that. All right, let's do this. I think this will be our last question. Let's go
00:43:29 with voicemail five. Hi, Allie Beth. I just finished listening to your podcast about having
00:43:38 baby number four and congratulations I also have three girls and I would love more babies
00:43:46 but my husband is wanting to be done he has not closed the door he has not said we're done having
00:43:53 a baby but he says he wants to be done and he feels very content and happy with our three girls
00:43:59 I think the Lord has more for us or yeah think I feel very heartbroken about that and so I just
00:44:07 wanted to know how you would counsel me i love your show and i hope to hear back from you thank
00:44:12 you okay well one thing i will say is that i love when dads are like content and grateful and happy
00:44:20 being girl dads because so often like when we're out and about with our girls we just got this the
00:44:26 other day people look at my husband and be like oh didn't get that boy are y'all gonna try for that
00:44:32 boy or like, oh, dad, like you got your handful, a handful with all these girls. Never to me,
00:44:39 always to dad. Like it's, oh gosh, you're, you just had such bad luck that you didn't end up
00:44:43 with a boy. And thankfully, like he is an awesome girl, dad, and he has never, ever felt that,
00:44:49 expressed that at all. Um, but I think that there are men who express that they're like totally
00:44:54 dissatisfied until, and there are women too, who do the same thing. They call it gender
00:44:59 disappointment. And then you act discontent with the kids that God providentially gave you. I think
00:45:04 it's terrible, terrible to express that kind of like grievance in that way. And so I think it's
00:45:10 like a total green flag and really sweet that your husband loves to be a girl dad. So I will just say
00:45:16 that is great. And then I will tell a little story that I've told on the podcast before. So I'm sorry
00:45:20 to those of you who have heard this before, but it really is a sweet story that my dad also was
00:45:26 done having kids after my oldest brother. So after their first, they were very young getting
00:45:31 married. They were poor and it was understandable. He was being practical. He wasn't just being
00:45:35 hard-hearted. They were, my dad was 19. My mom was 20 when they got married. They lived in a
00:45:41 really small house and they lived in a trailer. They were really struggling. My mom, a school
00:45:45 teacher, my dad just trying to make it in business. And then they had my brother and my mom really
00:45:52 wanted to quit working to stay at home, uh, with him. And I think my dad understandably was like,
00:45:57 there's no way that we can care for another, another child right now. So being the practical
00:46:02 provider that he was, he, you know, says that he was done or that's how they tell the story to me.
00:46:08 And then my mom though knew that she wanted more. And so she dropped it. She didn't keep nagging
00:46:13 him about it. She didn't keep bringing it up. She didn't make him feel bad about it. She didn't do
00:46:16 guilt trips. Just prayed, just prayed and prayed. And then a couple of years later, my dad,
00:46:22 turn around one day and said, I think that I want another one. And so then my middle brother was
00:46:27 born, um, several months later. And then after that, he was like, okay, we're definitely done
00:46:33 two kids, totally respectable number of kids. We're finally feeling like, okay, we've kind of,
00:46:38 we're starting to get things together around this time. They moved from Arkansas to Texas.
00:46:44 So my dad could have a better job. And so they're finally feeling like they have their feet under
00:46:48 them, feeling a little more stable. And so of course, again, I think my dad is just thinking
00:46:52 practically like this is good. Finally, we feel in a place where we're not just like struggling
00:46:58 so much and struggling in chaos all of the time. But my mom knew she wanted, she wanted more.
00:47:03 My dad was totally set. No, we are good with these two boys. My mom didn't say anything.
00:47:09 She prayed and she prayed and she prayed over the years. Well, it wasn't until seven years later
00:47:15 that my dad turned around one day, they were looking for a house, uh, in the Dallas area.
00:47:21 And they were looking at a house and my dad just standing there with standing in one of the rooms
00:47:25 and goes, I think this would make a good nursery. And my mom was like, what? Again, it had been
00:47:32 gosh, probably, I guess six years at this point, uh, since they had had my brother and my mom said
00:47:38 that she didn't say anything. She didn't even respond when my dad said that, that she just
00:47:42 prayed. She just continued to pray. And then one day randomly, my mom hadn't said anything else.
00:47:48 My mom didn't even tell my dad that she had been praying about this. He turned around and he was
00:47:53 like, I think I want a baby. And then here I am, here I am all of these years later. And so I think
00:47:59 that there's a lesson to be learned from that, that praying and patience and contentment is
00:48:06 possible even when you really want something. And I'm not saying that that is going to be your
00:48:12 story. I don't know. I just, I don't know what it's going to be, but there's no time wasted in
00:48:18 waiting and patience and loving and respecting your husband and praying at the same time for God
00:48:24 to either fulfill that desire through a baby or to satisfy that desire in another way. So that's
00:48:31 what I would say there. It's a good desire, but God doesn't promise to give us even all of our
00:48:35 good desires, but he does promise to be with us even through disappointment and while we wait.
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00:50:09 All right. You guys have awesome questions. Thank you so much for writing in. Our voicemail
00:50:18 number is 844-755-5252. Leave us a message. Try to keep it as concise as you can. You can ask all
00:50:28 kinds of things and we are happy to address as many questions as we can. Thank you guys so much
00:50:33 for tuning into these maternity leave episodes
00:50:36 as I spend some time away and rest in my family.
00:50:40 I appreciate y'all so much.
00:50:41 See you guys soon.