SHNEAKO - October 15, 2025


I Showed Up to Jake Future's Birthday Party!


Episode Stats


Length

16 minutes

Words per minute

141.01382

Word count

2,346

Sentence count

140

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Toxicity

13

sentences flagged

Hate speech

10

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

It's Christmas Eve and the boys are on the hunt for the perfect gift for Jake's birthday party, but they can't seem to find one because it's raining too much and they don't have an umbrella. Will they find it in time for the big day?

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Happy birthday to you!
00:00:04.700 Pick a watch brand. Pick a watch brand.
00:00:06.460 You got AP, you got Rolex, you got Vitek.
00:00:10.200 Low-X. Low-X.
00:00:12.420 You want a Rolex? Why are you looking at me?
00:00:14.280 You! 0.99
00:00:30.000 morning it's jake future's birthday party tonight and haven't gotten a present also
00:00:35.920 it's raining a lot don't have an umbrella don't have a present birthday party in five hours
00:00:45.120 apparently they finally identified the united healthcare shooter 26 year old luigi luigi
00:00:52.400 mangione it's the most mr robot plot of all time and the likelihood that he's just been wandering
00:00:58.640 around and probably on the train station with one of us very high
00:01:09.200 i genuinely couldn't tell if that was piss or beer not sure which actually no he's worse
00:01:14.400 this is worse than beer it's raining a lot and the train wasn't working so i'm trying to get a cabin
00:01:20.560 there's no cabs where are the cars where's everyone i got four hours left there we go 0.95
00:01:28.640 it's really so stupid i have a luxury apartment in miami with great weather and i chose to come 0.95
00:01:36.360 back here in the winter time to step on pee in the train station and be cold that's how much i 0.99
00:01:42.600 love this fucking city driver is haitian speaking creole and i kept the lease going in my miami 1.00
00:01:48.940 place for times like this when it gets terrible in new york i could take a two-hour flight and i 0.98
00:01:52.940 refuse to because i believe once you get a flow state going you don't leave apparently this is
00:01:58.320 shooter and he's a climate change ivy league student some people are saying that he has
00:02:03.600 quotes from ted kaczynski aka the unabomber and i love the unabomber manifesto but don't go out
00:02:09.680 assassinating anybody just don't killing people's bad but as soon as i heard the story i'm like this
00:02:15.080 is very unabomber the ceo of an insurance company that's not doing his job this is uh the ted
00:02:20.960 Kaczynski playbook I'll get out here running late running late absolute
00:02:39.200 Madness
00:02:49.100 For birthday present do you think I should get these or this one?
00:02:59.100 The biggest porn community on Twitter
00:03:01.760 It's called aiden NSFW with like a hundred thousand members because any quotes we did my video from yesterday ban porn on X
00:03:07.600 He said it's morally wrong providing a community that promotes lust and playing a part in porn addiction to over a hundred K people
00:03:14.560 Project X is getting porn off the internet. Let's go man
00:03:19.660 KJ the breath. Well, thank you for the cologne. Wait, do I do I need it? I smell bad
00:03:24.880 I do I smell like coffee. I spilled a little bit of coffee on me
00:03:28.240 Is this it you think it's a good birthday present? Yes
00:03:32.320 Okay, but I don't know if I should get holiday wrapping for a birthday party
00:03:35.320 I don't know where TikTok
00:03:38.120 Tell me what it was
00:03:38.980 And very soon people are going to be like
00:03:40.700 Is that the daily Twitter vlogger?
00:03:43.460 Not the streamer
00:03:44.280 The daily Twitter filmmaker slash editor
00:03:47.800 I feel like while I'm here
00:03:49.680 I could get something for Jake's mom
00:03:52.080 Like a nice little Christmas gift
00:03:54.340 What do women like? 1.00
00:03:56.000 Yeah, sure
00:03:56.700 What should I get as a present for a woman? 1.00
00:03:59.100 For a woman, you got to get her a perfume 1.00
00:04:02.140 You either got to get her
00:04:03.660 Google by Carolina Herrera.
00:04:06.320 Do you know what that is? Let's get it.
00:04:08.860 I'm actually working right now.
00:04:10.300 Oh, you are? Oh, you're going to get that commission.
00:04:12.320 No, no, no, no. I'm doing security.
00:04:14.840 I'm a detective here.
00:04:16.440 You're a detective here?
00:04:18.200 I just got this bag.
00:04:19.880 Oh, someone's trying to steal it.
00:04:20.960 Yeah, bro.
00:04:21.740 Wait, did he get arrested?
00:04:23.100 No, I just had to do a little
00:04:25.180 something about it back.
00:04:27.820 Oh, okay. You beat him up in the basement.
00:04:29.300 but we won't you won't say that i was like yo i feel like i know this guy
00:04:37.120 no that's great i didn't even know that they had private security in here but that makes sense
00:04:41.140 considering it's the holiday season nice to meet you i'm looking to get a present for a woman 0.82
00:04:46.740 something the thing is though it says good girl you know it's not for my girlfriend it's for my
00:04:51.480 friend's mom is that weird you can buy the classic original i'm gonna give you a free gift for her
00:04:57.100 okay? Oh, free gift? Yeah. What about free gift for me? Do you want for you? No, it's
00:05:01.560 okay. How do you say Merry Christmas in Dominican? Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Okay. Feliz
00:05:07.780 Navidad, wah, wah, wah. What's the name? Wah, wah, wah? No. Wah, wah, wah is like ghetto. 0.92
00:05:15.000 Oh, okay. Ghetto. Oh, so don't say that. No, you can do that because it's funny.
00:05:19.300 you are I feel very very stupid playing this game two hours to get there and it's a 90-minute drive 0.98
00:05:33.760 so now that this Luigi guy has been apparently identified in killing the United Health CEO 0.99
00:05:42.980 inciting Ted Kaczynski as the Unabomber I feel some responsibility to talk about it because I 0.78
00:05:47.820 make a whole documentary about the unabomber ted kaczynski lived in the shed in the middle of the
00:05:52.060 woods and was on the fbi most wanted list for about 20 years they only caught him because his
00:05:56.780 blood brother recognized his writing style when he published his manifesto this was pre-internet
00:06:02.300 pre-smartphone and the unabomber wrote about how technology was going to destroy the world
00:06:06.940 and maybe he was right but at the same time he was a victim of mk ultra literally when he was in
00:06:12.060 college he was so high iq the cia did mind control tests on him to figure out how to manipulate his
00:06:18.060 brain they did tests on him they gave him drugs they tried to bring up his trauma they wanted to
00:06:23.100 figure out how to use him as a weapon then ted kozinski went insane he thought that he was a
00:06:27.660 transgender and he had a breaking point in the transgender office in the 70s before it was
00:06:32.780 popular running out and realizing maybe i'm not actually transgender after that he dedicated his
00:06:37.820 life to living alone in the woods and mailing bombs to university professors and to people who
00:06:42.860 were innovating technology and insurance i highly recommend all of you read his manifesto but i also
00:06:48.620 recommend you don't mail bombs to anybody ted was right about the over emotional nature of the
00:06:53.100 liberal and how over socialization was going to destroy the human race a lot of what he predicted
00:06:58.060 and wrote about was right and i'm not surprised that somebody like luigi popped up and tried to
00:07:03.020 go and follow his footsteps and the mk ultra experiments are interesting because although
00:07:07.340 they're not doing it specifically you could see it on a major scale from media and from
00:07:11.980 porn maybe ted kaczynski wasn't the only one going insane
00:07:17.180 now i gotta go home and change t-minus one hour until jay future's birthday party
00:07:31.100 What's messed up about this Luigi guy is when women sell their body on OnlyFans, they get male simps. 0.96
00:07:41.880 But when men become serial killers, that's when they get female simps. 1.00
00:07:46.540 You're going to see fan edits of Luigi on TikTok in about 30 minutes.
00:07:55.040 And yesterday, congrats to JT who won Solana.
00:07:58.440 And congrats to John Wayne, who won ETH.
00:08:01.780 Good stuff.
00:08:02.420 All you got to do is quote, tweet, like, and reply, and it'll be submitted.
00:08:05.000 You can win some crypto every day.
00:08:07.140 It's a long drive, man.
00:08:08.760 Have you ever been this far in New Jersey?
00:08:13.120 All right.
00:08:14.420 Yeah, like I said, long drive.
00:08:15.600 But Jake Future's one of the coolest people that I know in the industry.
00:08:19.780 So got to come support the boy.
00:08:21.800 I'm in the middle of New Jersey.
00:08:23.480 Dude, let's get in here. 0.74
00:08:26.080 How you doing?
00:08:26.700 I'm here for Jake Future's birthday party.
00:08:29.000 Jake?
00:08:29.560 Yeah.
00:08:32.600 I'm sorry.
00:08:33.900 How are you?
00:08:34.440 Is that Jake Future?
00:08:35.940 Yeah.
00:08:39.000 Jake, what up, man?
00:08:40.260 How are you?
00:08:41.680 Happy birthday, bro.
00:08:43.480 Good to see you.
00:08:45.180 Come on, man.
00:08:46.120 Good to see you.
00:08:46.640 Long time, no see.
00:08:48.220 How are you, man?
00:08:49.360 I'm good, man.
00:08:49.940 I'm hungry.
00:08:50.460 You ready to eat?
00:08:51.860 How old are you, by the way?
00:08:53.320 You're 27?
00:08:54.260 Yeah.
00:08:54.700 Oh, you're pushing 30.
00:08:55.580 That's crazy.
00:08:56.060 No, you're pushing 30.
00:08:57.780 I'm 26.
00:08:58.620 I'm not pushing.
00:08:59.180 I'm still mid-20s.
00:09:00.400 You're late 20s.
00:09:01.380 You're in your 40s.
00:09:02.980 I'm not.
00:09:03.480 All right, bro.
00:09:04.340 I'm going.
00:09:06.780 What's the idea you could do next year?
00:09:08.300 A subathon.
00:09:09.560 A subathon.
00:09:10.740 Me and you do a full month subathon.
00:09:14.080 A full month subathon.
00:09:15.620 Yeah.
00:09:16.280 This way is.
00:09:17.100 Hopefully you read my handwriting.
00:09:18.180 For your officially pushing 30.
00:09:19.920 No, you're pushing 30.
00:09:22.040 I got you a present.
00:09:23.240 Aw.
00:09:24.140 Yeah, before you get into the games.
00:09:26.060 you got a time though
00:09:30.240 okay
00:09:30.800 wow that's a lot of time man
00:09:36.800 that's a lot of days
00:09:38.160 regarding like no glaze aside
00:09:40.760 you're one of the cooler people in the industry
00:09:43.440 that I've met that I've linked up with you
00:09:45.180 stay consistent
00:09:45.800 so when you send me the birthday invitation
00:09:47.500 of course I have to come through
00:09:48.480 thanks for inviting me
00:09:50.240 you're welcome
00:09:51.080 and happy birthday man
00:09:52.200 more life to you
00:09:52.920 more life to you
00:09:54.500 is today your birthday today?
00:09:55.620 No Christmas Day
00:09:57.620 Christmas Day
00:09:59.620 Christmas I remember
00:10:01.620 I remember
00:10:07.620 Whatever I'm here
00:10:09.620 I'm here
00:10:11.620 Get a job
00:10:13.620 Get a job
00:10:15.620 Get a job
00:10:17.620 Those are tough
00:10:19.620 I don't know what
00:10:21.620 No I got one just for you
00:10:25.620 Have a good night! Thank you!
00:10:32.620 Why did you have the hat on when you got these?
00:10:35.620 Yeah.
00:10:36.620 Oh, you're fostering than everybody on the internet. No cap.
00:10:39.620 Dang! 0.99
00:10:44.620 That's true.
00:10:55.620 I
00:11:25.620 Where I came from? This is where I'm at!
00:11:31.620 Where now?
00:11:32.620 Oh
00:12:02.620 27 27 okay you got to blow out the imaginary candles
00:12:11.660 hey buddy happy birthday goat happy birthday goat how you been doing 0.62
00:12:24.540 man man jake when i catch up with you bro when i pull up on your neck
00:12:30.540 Uh, we're gonna, I'm gonna get you, first of all, I'm gonna get you the greatest gift of all time
00:12:35.740 Thank you
00:12:37.020 But man, I've been, uh, a dick, you know, I've just been trying to figure some stuff out 0.99
00:12:41.460 But I promise you, dick, no matter what happens 0.99
00:12:44.400 I'll be by your side, you'll be by mine, no matter what 0.98
00:12:47.680 We promise forever
00:12:48.440 You know, thank you very much
00:12:51.920 You're not gonna get a better gift, look at these shoes
00:12:53.700 Yeah
00:12:57.760 Oh, nah
00:12:59.780 Oh 1.00
00:13:05.780 Jake I'm gonna get you some crazy shit this next gift would give you crazy shit. Okay 1.00
00:13:12.280 What you tell me this
00:13:14.280 It's a lot of friends pick a lot of friends. You got AP. You got Rolex
00:13:22.780 Are you looking at me
00:13:25.780 Watch not my watch you think
00:13:29.780 Hey, Jake, you look at options.
00:13:31.460 You go look at options, and you get back to me.
00:13:33.660 Okay.
00:13:34.140 When you're off stream, I'm going to have Sneakle give you my new number.
00:13:38.580 Okay.
00:13:39.940 And then just send me what type of options you like.
00:13:43.400 Okay.
00:13:44.120 I sent you his number yesterday.
00:13:45.980 No, I know, but he's on stream.
00:13:47.320 I don't want it to leak.
00:13:48.960 You're on mute.
00:13:50.140 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:51.940 All right, yeah, when he's off.
00:13:53.240 When he's off, it's fine.
00:13:55.960 All right, yo, Jake, I love you, bro.
00:13:57.680 Happy birthday, my brother.
00:13:58.460 I will speak very soon.
00:14:00.620 I'm coming out to New York very, very soon,
00:14:02.540 and I'm going to get you this really, really nice gift.
00:14:04.160 Okay.
00:14:04.660 You're an amazing soul, bro, and I want you to never forget that.
00:14:08.380 Thank you.
00:14:09.000 And I love you, bro.
00:14:09.560 Take care.
00:14:10.340 W Glaze.
00:14:13.080 All right, see you later.
00:14:15.340 Are you feeding me?
00:14:17.400 No, no.
00:14:28.460 you want to get into it you want to go
00:14:32.500 thank you be safe guys okay you too merry christmas everyone
00:14:40.720 just got back from jersey that wasn't that bad of a drive about 40 minutes and my assistant saying
00:14:50.260 not to say this but i have to say it that blew my mind seeing no streamer not only not show up
00:14:56.640 because I understand it's in you know it's out the way but not even respond to his birthday invite
00:15:01.140 going and it's not even anyone specific some people are singling out like the people that he
00:15:04.940 collabs with frequently but Jake messaged every streamer I think he mentioned it everybody that
00:15:11.140 he's met with at the mall and who's been like oh Jake will like show give him hugs and everything
00:15:16.540 like that in public on camera but not only did they not show up which I get they're busy but
00:15:22.360 they didn't even text him back when he sends a flyer and an invitation. And I was telling my
00:15:27.740 assistant, the crazy part is I know how difficult it is for Jake to even send a message. For him to
00:15:33.920 unlock his phone, to press in the photos, to send, that takes him 10 times, 100 times the effort that
00:15:42.080 it takes us. And that's a small inconvenience of our life sending a text. For him, it's genuine
00:15:47.900 an effort. It's not as easy for him to do it as us. Right. And they're all just ignoring it.
00:15:53.720 All of them. I was going, he showed me his phone. He sent the same flyer that I got
00:15:59.040 to the entire industry. None of them replied, not even a reply, not even a happy birth, like
00:16:08.140 blue. That was like a dystopian. I've been streaming for two years. This is another reason
00:16:14.660 why I'm starting Project X
00:16:15.840 and why I'm going to the vlogs.
00:16:17.160 Because the industry's fake,
00:16:19.060 people know that,
00:16:19.960 but this is dark.
00:16:22.280 Dark. 0.73
00:16:23.000 People have messaged me
00:16:23.840 like when I hung out
00:16:24.500 with Jake in Miami,
00:16:25.120 like, oh, you hung out
00:16:25.880 with them in Miami first,
00:16:26.760 I was going to take them out.
00:16:27.900 They had the opportunity to
00:16:29.060 and they said nothing.
00:16:32.800 This is an evil world we live in.
00:16:36.260 Peace.
00:16:36.820 Say bye.
00:16:37.880 Bye.