A Night in Moscow | Tate Confidential Ep 298
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
167.2562
Summary
Tristan almost died from eating raw milk, and we're here to talk about it! Join us as we discuss it, and much more, in this week's episode of Thick & Thin, hosted by Luke and Tristan.
Transcript
00:00:35.000
They don't know that you poisoned yourself and almost died by drinking raw milk after I specifically told you not to and you argued with me for about 20 minutes about how great it was.
00:00:48.000
Bro, don't put your watches in saunas and blues anyway.
00:01:02.000
However, I refuse to turn on you when we should be making fun of Dairy Queen.
00:01:07.000
I'm instantly going to pivot back to the fact that Bailey nearly died from milk that he shouldn't have been drinking.
00:01:15.000
Men will do anything it takes to avoid fighting.
00:01:22.000
You'll do anything it takes to avoid getting punched in the face.
00:01:27.000
No, I don't want to fight, but I do ice baths and raw milk.
00:01:36.000
So a doctor came to this house because you were completely immobilized.
00:01:40.000
And I'm not going to show his face because I told him I wouldn't, but let me play the doctor's voice now.
00:01:48.000
And you're a qualified doctor here in this house, here to treat Bailey.
00:01:53.000
So, the most common cause of bacterial infection causing gastroenteritis, bacterial gastroenteritis is...
00:02:03.000
The larger meta point here is why is anyone doing anything besides just beating the fuck out?
00:02:12.000
This is why at 38 I look like fucking Hercules.
00:02:30.000
When you least expect it, you're going to get served.
00:02:34.000
No, when you least expect it, I'm going to line dance at you, and it's going to get you.
00:03:17.000
These are the olden days where Bailey was filming.
00:04:01.000
In fact, if raw milk were to hurt you, that'd be very, very gay, wouldn't it?
00:04:05.000
Especially if your name were like Bulletproof something.
00:04:08.000
Yeah, if that was your nickname, your nickname started with Bulletproof, you'd think that raw milk wouldn't get you.
00:04:17.000
Yeah, if bullets can't hurt you, how could something like raw milk that baby cows drink get you?
00:04:40.000
Of all the things I want to do, sitting next to you is last on my list.
00:04:50.000
Bailey, if we get there, I'll admit it, that it might be called poo poo.
00:04:53.000
Top G and a Bugatti, me and stuff is not a party, a lot of times they say she want me, Slicker than average, so she'll have to look for me.
00:05:07.000
I will push you off when you're not looking because I don't like you at all.
00:05:58.000
Wait, I'm seeing that this place lives up to its name.
00:06:15.000
The only way to stop being Dairy Queen is for you to down all those.
00:06:18.000
You don't want to be Dairy Queen in your whole life, do you?
00:06:19.000
How many shots would I have to down to not be Dairy Queen?
00:06:21.000
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. I feel like that's actually light work.
00:06:40.000
I was sold a spa, and I imagine, like, okay, a super luxurious spa.
00:06:44.000
Like, I was sold something about grass, and they'll use grass somehow.
00:06:50.000
My life isn't complete until I learn all the lyrics to the song.
00:06:52.000
You're never gonna learn the lyrics to the song.
00:07:10.000
If you dry-scoop Fireblood and then drink all of these, you'll be better for him.
00:07:17.000
If you dry-scoop Fireblood and drink six shots of random Russian alcohol, I promise we'll stop calling you Dairy Queen.
00:07:33.000
You're in a dream, and I'm the one here who's trying to wake you up back into the real world.
00:07:39.000
I've been sent into your dream to tell you the only way to get out is to dry scoop fire blood and drink these six shots of alcohol.
00:07:44.000
Then you'll wake up in hospital and you'll be okay.
00:07:46.000
If not, you're going to stay in this coma fever dream forever.
00:08:03.000
Bailey, I wouldn't come down here into your subconscious to tell you this if I didn't care about you.
00:08:08.000
That's why it's called poo-poo, because you're in a hospital bed pooing yourself.
00:08:16.000
We have shorts, hats, robes, slippers, everything.
00:08:22.000
You'll take three men and one girl for Dairy Queen.
00:08:35.000
No, that is super funny because, Luke, you are responsible for this.
00:08:40.000
You were like, Bailey, I got the best raw milk ever.
00:09:04.000
You came full of drinking a glass of milk without crying.
00:09:18.000
Remember when Tristan said, don't bring the chain, don't bring the watch?
00:09:21.000
Tristan's like, oh, no, no, it's going to heat up and the diamonds are going to fall off.
00:09:28.000
Don't be your watches and saunas and booze anyway.
00:09:30.000
So Bailey's interested in these watches down from heat.
00:10:01.000
You're the one who showed us the Russian karaoke bar.
00:10:06.000
I think it's a great way to celebrate having fun.
00:10:19.000
You remember that one time we did a little duet together?
00:10:28.000
Rob, until you put a hat on, I don't listen to anything you say.
00:10:42.000
Clearly, people come to these places to get healthy.
00:10:44.000
So if you want to take your health seriously, first thing you need is a scoop of fire blood.
00:11:03.000
When the repowering is complete, second cigarette.
00:11:14.000
So it's very hard to argue with the logic when someone can beat you up.
00:11:19.000
What's health other than being able to beat someone else up?
00:11:23.000
I put on gloves 10 years retired and I beat up a bunch of active fighters.
00:12:31.000
The biggest buildings were built one brick at a time.
00:12:36.000
You need to hold yourself accountable every step of the way.
00:12:38.000
That's why, in the real world, we've created an in-platform feature exactly for this.
00:12:42.000
With the daily checklist, you now have the ability to conquer your tasks with automatic organization seamlessly integrated into your student dashboard.
00:12:50.000
You can create tasks, add descriptions, complete them, and increase your power level as a result.
00:12:55.000
Stop trying to remember what you need to do You know, I like saying I told you so, but to no one as much as you, baby.
00:13:35.000
So this is one of those situations where I invite you to something and I don't expect you to actually do it and then it actually happens and then he gets a bit pee.
00:14:21.000
That's the kind of thing Russians say as an answer, though.
00:14:31.000
If a big guy like Tristan told me that, I'd be like, "Okay, am I kidnapped?
00:14:52.000
Only Cyrus my Goonik You're gonna thank me so much after this feels good so far actually like it I really need me to translate anything to the Russian guy tell me I My dog doesn't eat eggs.
00:15:29.000
I've spent the past 24 hours trying to recover from critical dehydration.
00:15:39.000
Bailey, what if I told you this is all part of the plan?
00:15:43.000
Guys, we did $5,000 worth of IV treatment to get me...
00:15:51.000
The reason you think you're sweating is like a dream.
00:15:53.000
You are sweating in your dream because you're sweating in real life because you're still on the hospital bed.
00:16:56.000
The GoPro that's meant to go to the volcanoes is dead.
00:17:05.000
I mean, you can bring the GoPro back if you want, and we can try again.
00:17:33.000
If you imagine a man who truly believes in God and finds strength from God, he suffers.
00:17:37.000
And if you imagine a man who's born with a perfect life, perfect parents, endless money, no adversity, no struggle, nothing ever goes wrong.
00:17:49.000
The kind of person who will hurt those weaker than him.
00:17:51.000
Try and use his influence and power for nefarious purposes.
00:17:55.000
People who only have pleasures in their life do not experience connection with God, friend.
00:18:01.000
Suffering is what reminds you that the light is light and the dark is dark.
00:18:06.000
This is why God gives us suffering in the first place.
00:18:09.000
So many people pray for their suffering to end, not understanding that.
00:18:12.000
The suffering is the reason they're praying in the first place, so.
00:18:15.000
Well, it's been a while since you've appreciated fresh air, isn't it, friend?
00:18:22.000
I would argue all suffering is good for us, and God wants us to suffer to show.
00:18:28.000
That's why, if you're lazy, you're never lucky.
00:18:30.000
And if you work hard and you suffer, somehow, you'll always lose.
00:19:42.000
I'll go back in that torture chamber before I get back in that water.
00:19:56.000
You want to sit on the balcony and watch the sunset, faggot?
00:20:01.000
Marcel, I cannot wait for you to drown in the men's room.