Tate Speech - August 11, 2024


Marcell has NEVER lost | Tate Confidential Ep 249


Episode Stats

Length

16 minutes

Words per Minute

111.34912

Word Count

1,802

Sentence Count

268

Misogynist Sentences

7

Hate Speech Sentences

24


Summary

Tristan, Andrew, and Alex are hungover and want to go out to eat, but no one else wants to join them. Captain Von has a plan to fix the problem, but it s not a good one, and it s a bad one. The problem is, everyone s hungover except for Andrew and Alex, and no one s hungry. They decide to treat themselves to some gongsters, but they don t need them, because they re not hungover at all. They re not hungry because they ve had a lot to drink, and they ve been drinking a lot of alcohol, so they ve decided to have a game of "Who's Drunker First" and see if they can beat each other at their own game. But can they beat the other person at their game, or does it have to be against each other? Listen to find out if it s going to be a good or bad night, and find out who wins and who loses the night. Also, find out what s going on with Marcel and the rest of the crew at the end of the episode, because it s his off day, so he s not going to have an off day tonight, is he? or is he going to win the night, or not? Find out tonight! Stay tuned for the results of the game, and stay tuned to the next episode next Wednesday for the next round of the "Who s Drunkest?" contest, where the winner will be announced that day. . . . and who wins the night and who doesn t have the best night of the night? and who has the most off day and who does the best thing? And who s the worst day of the day, and who s having the worst off day? ...and who s getting the best day, who s winning the most of the week? is it a good day, right or not?! Thank you for listening to this episode, and good night, everyone! XOXOXO, EJ and much more! -EJ & AJ -P.S. P.O. -MARCY. XO, J.A. & J.B. & EJ ( ) -S. ( ) - EJ ( ) and J.J. ( ) . ( & AY ( ) ( ) . & K. ( ).


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Captain Von, what's your idea?
00:00:11.000 Well, Captain Fun, I'm saying Andrew never wants to go out and eat Captain Fun.
00:00:14.000 No. Well, I'm just saying, right now, we can go get Big Tastes.
00:00:18.000 Right this second. For each.
00:00:20.000 For each. Who's not in?
00:00:27.000 Everyone's going out, though. I'd rather train and do my work.
00:00:32.000 Okay, well I'm not actually hungry, which is the first flaw with my plan.
00:00:38.000 I'm not hungry and don't want to eat anything.
00:00:40.000 I was scared Nice
00:00:44.000 Fear of food Marcel don't get him going
00:01:08.000 Thank you.
00:01:10.000 I'm just gonna say, I'm down.
00:01:12.000 No one needs Big Tasty's at 10 a.m.
00:01:15.000 Thank you. You're welcome.
00:01:17.000 You're too little. Same thing.
00:01:21.000 I don't know, the hour makes all the difference, baby.
00:01:23.000 It doesn't. One hour makes all the difference.
00:01:26.000 We all just woke up.
00:01:28.000 Almost everyone at this table except for Andrew and Alex are hungover.
00:01:32.000 And no one's hungry. And no one's hungry.
00:01:35.000 We don't need Big Tasty's.
00:01:38.000 It's not about needing to eat McDonald's.
00:01:40.000 It's about going to McDonald's as friends.
00:01:43.000 I came here with a goal to lose weight, and each time you drag me into these stupid fucking competitions...
00:01:48.000 Well, yesterday we could have just stuck to vodka and sparkling water, and you'd be good.
00:01:53.000 However, you decided to get gongsters.
00:01:56.000 No, I didn't. We had an agreement, no gongsters in the house.
00:01:59.000 I walk in a room and there's three here, and you're accusing me of ordering them.
00:02:03.000 Yes. I'm not there right now, Alec. Maybe you're a dream of treating gongsters with me.
00:02:22.000 It's why I don't believe you.
00:02:24.000 Don't live up to the dream.
00:02:27.000 I go back. Tristan, it's not even noon.
00:02:29.000 You don't need gongsters.
00:02:31.000 It's all about needing gongsters.
00:02:33.000 Just say, I like gongsters.
00:02:36.000 It's a low-calorie, healthy, refreshing drink.
00:02:40.000 It's all of those things.
00:02:43.000 You don't know what those things are.
00:02:45.000 It is a big refreshment.
00:02:49.000 I'm gonna see if you don't even dislike the refreshment.
00:02:52.000 Martell, I hear you chatting shit all the way from over here.
00:02:56.000 What are you doing?
00:03:00.000 I'm gonna document your final words.
00:03:03.000 Okay, all right, I'm gonna document your final words because we need video evidence
00:03:08.000 Have you lost we've had ghosts four different times and every time
00:03:32.000 You lose that concerts on camera you say I'm a loser is on camera, but I've never recorded drink-for-drink it
00:03:39.000 It's just kind of been sporadic.
00:03:41.000 It wasn't a setup.
00:03:42.000 Yeah, because there was a time when I was drinking, you stopped.
00:03:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that. Nigel stopped.
00:03:47.000 Marcel started drinking on a stream, you weren't.
00:03:50.000 I super don't want to do this, but it's fucking on now.
00:03:52.000 Gonsters, tonight. Unless you apologize.
00:03:57.000 No. You have deep-rooted emotional and psychological problems.
00:04:13.000 I'm a champion, what can I say?
00:04:15.000 You're not. I always win.
00:04:20.000 You've never lost a game. Never lost a game.
00:04:24.000 You've lost every drink you've done at first.
00:04:28.000 Tonight could be his night.
00:04:30.000 It can't be. No, it can't be.
00:04:32.000 Tonight can't be his night.
00:04:34.000 If we do Gonsters tonight.
00:04:37.000 I'm just saying, you've had an off day today, Tee.
00:04:39.000 I'm not having an off day.
00:04:42.000 You are. Marcel, are you going to let them encourage you into this?
00:04:47.000 Are you? Marcel, you got him.
00:04:50.000 I believe. It's not about his off day.
00:04:53.000 I'm having an off day, but that's easy.
00:04:54.000 That's giving you half a chance.
00:04:56.000 Marcel, you're fucking retarded.
00:05:03.000 I'm going to order Gonstras now, and that's what's going to happen.
00:05:07.000 Different flavour, Gonster. Make your suffering at least more diverse.
00:05:12.000 This is what I'm saying. We get all the flavours of the Monster and we line them up.
00:05:16.000 And we see who can finish them first.
00:05:19.000 Okay, but that will be me. I don't know, man.
00:05:21.000 No, no, Marcel, I do know.
00:05:23.000 And you so know. I don't know.
00:05:24.000 No, everyone knows that it will be me.
00:05:26.000 I don't.
00:05:27.000 No, you do know, Marcel.
00:05:29.000 Yes, you do. Yes, you do know.
00:05:31.000 So you've beaten me before?
00:05:34.000 Every time.
00:05:36.000 You've beaten me at this game before?
00:05:38.000 Yes. I've beaten you every time.
00:05:44.000 And you have evidence of this?
00:05:45.000 Yes, we do, actually. No, you have evidence of this.
00:05:47.000 I don't have evidence of this.
00:05:48.000 Baby didn't delete the footage.
00:05:50.000 I have no idea what you're talking about.
00:05:53.000 The other contest will already be out, so they'll know how retarded you are.
00:05:58.000 More so, I don't have any footage.
00:05:59.000 I don't know what he's talking about. He's a loser.
00:06:02.000 Goodbye, Derek. I have you on camera admitting that you're a loser, I've gone through.
00:06:06.000 I sit. You quit.
00:06:08.000 I sit. Where?
00:06:15.000 Which camera? Yours? You haven't got camera tape.
00:06:18.000 Fine, I'm filming it tonight.
00:06:20.000 Or I'll film it tonight, myself.
00:06:25.000 Tristan, I know you want to take it back to the house for rest days.
00:06:27.000 Let's play SSB. Okay, I almost got it.
00:06:31.000 You don't even know where you're going.
00:06:35.000 There is no location. That's the joke.
00:06:40.000 The location is right here, right now.
00:06:44.000 SSB. I got him.
00:06:48.000 Let's go, T. I feel like at this point, we have to see if they have Gonsters.
00:06:55.000 We've come this far, we have to see.
00:06:57.000 Tristan!
00:07:04.000 Tristan, you have to see!
00:07:06.000 I'm gonna do a little dance.
00:07:07.000 Marcel, we're going to get a gongster at some random Irish pub.
00:07:14.000 Put your money where your mouth is, baby.
00:07:17.000 I'm an instigator. I'm not partaking.
00:07:19.000 No, you're not. You're a partaker.
00:07:22.000 You have to have credentials to do that.
00:07:24.000 Yeah, you have another credentials, baby.
00:07:27.000 Time to earn them.
00:07:29.000 I've never had a Gaunster, for the record.
00:07:31.000 I've never had one. First one.
00:07:33.000 I've never even had a sip. First one today.
00:07:35.000 This will be your first time.
00:07:37.000 What type of energy drinks do you have?
00:07:40.000 Only Red Bulls.
00:07:42.000 We're going to order something very straight.
00:07:44.000 I need three types of Guinness, but leave this much space at the top of the Guinness and fill them up with Red Bulls.
00:07:53.000 Hey! Red Bonsters instead of Gonzo.
00:07:56.000 Some Red Bonsters.
00:07:59.000 Marcel, we're having Bonsters.
00:08:01.000 What's this? Red Bonsters.
00:08:02.000 Red Bonsters. What's that? They've got that Monster, but they've got Red Bonsters.
00:08:05.000 It's Red Bonsters. I'm down.
00:08:11.000 Marcel, are you challenging Tristan tonight?
00:08:13.000 He's already challenged me. It's already on tape.
00:08:15.000 Don't have to say that. It is on tape.
00:08:17.000 I can't attest to that.
00:08:20.000 But Marcel, it's tonight the night where you bring it out.
00:08:22.000 All day. A little bit more Guinness.
00:08:27.000 A little bit more Guinness.
00:08:31.000 You're the Gonster Professional, not me.
00:08:33.000 Well, this is the Red Bomster.
00:08:35.000 This is Uncharted territory.
00:08:37.000 That is fair. Thank you.
00:08:40.000 We're in Boston.
00:08:42.000 Let's go.
00:08:44.000 They didn't have any gums for us.
00:09:00.000 They have Red Bull.
00:09:03.000 So you have Red Bonsters.
00:09:06.000 Red Bonsters. I'm saying, there's no Gunsters in the place.
00:09:09.000 I tried my best, I asked them what energy drinks they had, and Red Bonsters is all they got.
00:09:13.000 You mixed Red Bull with Guinness.
00:09:15.000 It's called a red monster, and for you to, live in front of our audience who's going to see this, appear as uncultured and barbarian and savage and backwards as you are, is quite frankly unprofessional.
00:09:28.000 Proper putrid. Oh, taste?
00:09:31.000 No, you want to taste it. I'm sorry.
00:09:34.000 I'm not in this. I admit to Pete already.
00:09:37.000 I'm not forgetting it.
00:09:39.000 What a taste!
00:09:41.000 He's learning!
00:09:47.000 He's starting all this shit.
00:09:49.000 I'm gonna have to try.
00:09:51.000 Can I have a cigarette please to break up my cigar?
00:09:57.000 Tristan, you can't cop out and take the scooters.
00:10:03.000 But I can. We're walking men tonight.
00:10:05.000 We're not taking the scooters. Nope.
00:10:07.000 Guess I can. Tristan, this is gay.
00:10:12.000 You and I both know this is f***ing gay.
00:10:14.000 I'm just gonna jump. Nor is.
00:10:38.000 I didn't ask you.
00:10:40.000 Nor is. When you dance with the devil, you wait for the music to stop.
00:10:46.000 I never challenged you!
00:10:48.000 Who is the music?
00:10:51.000 Yes or no?
00:10:52.000 If you film the devil dancing, you dance to the devil's song.
00:10:56.000 Bro, I'm above that. Look.
00:11:01.000 Are you ready for the rollback?
00:11:08.000 Maybe you have to build a neck muscle to pull it off.
00:11:13.000 You don't have that. He ain't got the neck muscle.
00:11:15.000 Eat that bro, it's just straight on the neck.
00:11:18.000 It's stiff, it's stiff.
00:11:20.000 It's killer stiff.
00:11:24.000 Yo Mark.
00:11:28.000 How's it going?
00:11:30.000 I like those guys.
00:11:32.000 What's up, what's up?
00:11:40.000 You brought us up that food venue to drink that drink, yeah?
00:11:42.000 Huh?
00:11:46.000 Double it down.
00:11:48.000 Oh, dang.
00:11:50.000 On the road to be monster.
00:11:53.000 I think he's in the lead.
00:11:57.000 Marcel's in the lead. I'm going to just order 8 shots to get this over.
00:12:02.000 I'm going to just kick this over.
00:12:04.000 1,000 of the sword.
00:12:07.000 The Saber Stryker is in the end of his arc.
00:12:10.000 6 shots of Jager E. What do you think?
00:12:13.000 Piston. Piston.
00:12:17.000 All day.
00:12:19.000 I'm a little bit.
00:12:37.000 Oh, shit.
00:12:38.000 Oh It was okay, but they're not cheese.
00:12:42.000 Alright, there's been a few drinks off camera.
00:12:44.000 What's the score? Marsmelt!
00:12:56.000 Marsmelt!
00:12:59.000 I'm not even on Marsmelt!
00:13:05.000 No town!
00:13:10.000 I'm saying you fucking know it. I'm saying you fucking know it. I'm saying you fucking
00:13:17.000 know it. I'm saying you fucking know it. I'm saying you fucking know it. I'm saying you
00:13:25.000 know it. I'm saying you fucking know it. I'm saying you fucking know it. I'm saying you
00:13:32.000 fucking know it. I'm saying you fucking know it.
00:13:39.000 You fucking overacted.
00:13:41.000 You know! Hey, what's this?
00:13:46.000 What's this? Alex! He dropped the gate card!
00:13:51.000 He dropped it!
00:13:53.000 Alex, Alex, he lost!
00:13:59.000 He lost, he lost, he lost, he lost!
00:14:03.000 Interest! He's made!
00:14:04.000 He's made! Did he he up? Yes or no?
00:14:06.000 Did he he up? No! You know what I'm on, right?
00:14:11.000 Bro, that's nice.
00:14:13.000 How do you beat me?
00:14:27.000 How do you beat him? He's got better range, better technique, more practice, more fights under his belt.
00:14:32.000 Don't even get me started about footwork.
00:14:34.000 Undefeated! Never lost!
00:14:38.000 Ever! Every life!
00:14:41.000 Never lost! I'm broke!
00:14:46.000 Bro! Have I ever lost?
00:14:53.000 To me, you're drinking.
00:14:56.000 Professionally! Have you ever won?
00:14:57.000 Bro, wait. Professionally, have I ever lost?
00:15:00.000 No! No! Professionally, on my record, have I ever lost?
00:15:05.000 Shut the fuck up. Yes or no?
00:15:07.000 Yes or no?
00:15:10.000 Pussy! Take a picture and make sure...
00:15:24.000 Mine, mine, mine, mine.
00:15:26.000 Sorry, sorry, sorry.
00:15:27.000 You absolute pussy!
00:15:29.000 You...
00:15:30.000 You just...
00:15:31.000 Tristan, Tristan.
00:15:33.000 Andrew looks so ashamed.
00:15:34.000 Tristan.
00:15:36.000 No, no, no.
00:15:38.000 Fuck him.
00:15:41.000 Fuck him. Gonsters.
00:15:45.000 Gonsters. I'm ready.
00:15:46.000 Let's do this. You want Gonsters, Marcel?
00:15:49.000 I ain't scared. Marcel, you want Gonsters.
00:15:53.000 Say it, Marcel.
00:15:56.000 Say it. Are you better than me?
00:15:59.000 Let's go. Is this a fucking joke?
00:16:03.000 Are you joking? Let's go.
00:16:06.000 It kind of is kind of a cheat code to throw it up and then drink it again, but I'm ready.