Tate Speech - December 22, 2022


TATE GETS ABANDONED BY TRISTAN AND LUC | Tate Confidential Ep 168


Episode Stats

Length

15 minutes

Words per Minute

148.51613

Word Count

2,302

Sentence Count

413

Misogynist Sentences

16

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

Tristan and Luke are sitting in a pool with a nice view of the ocean, but it's not so nice that they don't want to get into trouble with the other people in the pool. But what happens when the water starts to get cold and they start to get worried that they might get sucked under by a powerful vortex? Will they be okay with it? And what would they do if they were stuck in the water and the vortex started to suck them under? And how would they survive it? This episode is brought to you by Aikido, a Japanese martial arts training and co-working company. Produced and edited by and . If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! We'll be looking out for your comments and thoughts in the next episode! Timestamps: 1:00 - What would you do if you were a shark? 4:30 - How would you survive in the ocean? 5:00 6:15 - What is your biggest pet peeve? 8:00- What's the worst thing a shark has ever done to you? 9:15- How do you feel about the food you ve eaten? 11:30- What do you think of the food we ve been eating? 16:30 17:40 - What s your favourite part of the meal? 18:40- What are you looking forward to next? 19:20 - Is it good or worst? 21:40 22: What's your favourite meal of the day? 26: What are your favourite dish? 27:20- What santa? 29: Is it slowest? 30:00 Is there something you ve ever had to eat? 31:00 Do you have a friend you ve had in the last meal you ve been in the past week? 32:00 Are you looking for a new piece of food that s a little bit too spicy? 33:00 Have a steak? 35:00 Can you give me a steak or pasta? 36:00 Would you like me a shot of tequila or something? 37:00 Aikidos? 39:00 What s a good piece of meat? 40:00 Will you like it more? 45:00 Should I eat it again?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Thanks for watching!
00:00:10.000 I'm not your cousin. You're not my cousin.
00:00:12.000 And I feel like if you Aikido to sit for a second You'd be instantly cured
00:00:41.000 I'm gonna stay nice and low This is not as hot down here. Isn't it?
00:00:46.000 It's hot. This looks hell.
00:00:53.000 This doesn't look fun for you.
00:00:58.000 It's nice and cool down here.
00:01:00.000 Nice low. I'm at one.
00:01:04.000 I'm not. I'm nice and cold.
00:01:06.000 You're definitely not. I am.
00:01:07.000 You down here? Yeah.
00:01:09.000 Down here is nice and really nice and cool.
00:01:10.000 Stand up for one second and you'll feel very pain.
00:01:12.000 I know. No, thank you.
00:01:15.000 No deal. So you're a little pussy ass bitch.
00:01:18.000 I just like the cold.
00:01:21.000 Oh, that is vastly different.
00:01:23.000 Tristan, I know. Tristan, I know.
00:01:25.000 Vastly? Tristan, I know.
00:01:26.000 It's like a ten times difference.
00:01:30.000 Now he went back up to hell.
00:01:32.000 So what would you two do if I used my Aikido hands to create a water vortex tornado so powerful that it sucked you both under and you drowned?
00:01:42.000 I wouldn't care. You wouldn't care.
00:01:44.000 I wouldn't care. No, no, no.
00:01:45.000 I'll stop. I'll stop. Sorry, bro.
00:01:46.000 I was kidding. I was kidding.
00:01:48.000 I'll stop. I'll stop. No, no, I'll get it.
00:01:50.000 No, bro. Luke, I'm not going to do it.
00:01:52.000 I know. Relax. No, I wasn't worried about you.
00:01:53.000 It's fine. Look at this beautiful view. But wouldn't you drown yourself as well?
00:01:56.000 No, because what I would do is anti-Aikido.
00:01:59.000 The other way. So you're saying Aikido can create a powerful vortex that drowns the other people in the pool?
00:02:03.000 Yeah. But not yourself.
00:02:05.000 Well, a man with that level of Aikido...
00:02:07.000 Look at this beautiful view, guys.
00:02:08.000 We can't be sitting here talking dumb shit with this beautiful view.
00:02:11.000 It's not dumb, though. It is, it's dumb.
00:02:12.000 I'm turning this way and facing the wall.
00:02:13.000 Yeah, you know what? I already was doing it, and I don't think Take Confidential needs to see the view.
00:02:17.000 Nah, I think you do, because guys, the view's too nice to be...
00:02:20.000 Should I, Luke? Should I? Nah, look at this nice view.
00:02:22.000 Luke, should I get in? Maybe.
00:02:24.000 Wait, can you make sure it doesn't get me?
00:02:26.000 Oh, I'm not sure.
00:02:28.000 I'll stop. Don't worry, bro. Don't worry, bro.
00:02:31.000 I'll stop, mate. I'll stop. It was just a joke.
00:02:33.000 Seriously, no.
00:02:34.000 Calm down. No need to worry.
00:02:36.000 Get that upset look on your face.
00:02:37.000 I'm not going to do it. So now, I really can...
00:02:40.000 TakeOver Denture could never see the view behind us, ever.
00:02:42.000 No, that's not true, though. If I still wanted.
00:02:44.000 Yes, you were inside. And they could just see the wall.
00:02:46.000 You were the boss of them and what they see.
00:02:50.000 There's a reason I wanted to look over there.
00:02:52.000 It was a trick. Because there's something over there that you've noticed.
00:02:56.000 Oh, I noticed. I immediately noticed.
00:02:58.000 I'm still not turning. Well, Luke, you need to see this.
00:03:01.000 No, I don't. I think you do, Luke.
00:03:04.000 I don't. We have a nice view here.
00:03:06.000 Look, record the bee. He's just fucked himself.
00:03:08.000 Where? Here. A bee.
00:03:09.000 He's just fallen in the water and fucked himself.
00:03:13.000 Where? My Aikido tornado was not powerful enough to suck you down because it didn't start yet, but it got the bee.
00:03:19.000 That doesn't make sense because the bee was outside the water.
00:03:21.000 Don't let the bee out. Flick him.
00:03:24.000 Fuck him. Don't save him.
00:03:25.000 Bees are cunts. Don't save him, you dumb- He could- He definitely just got saved.
00:03:30.000 Trusive, why'd you fucking hit him?
00:03:32.000 Luke, you're slowing down. You've always been the slowest.
00:03:49.000 Every time we go anywhere, you turn up last.
00:03:51.000 We notice that. Why is that?
00:03:52.000 Because he's slow. What?
00:03:54.000 Let me tell you something, Luke. Bad news.
00:03:55.000 Early bird to get the worm.
00:03:57.000 This food was the last food.
00:04:00.000 And now the kitchen is closed until 7pm.
00:04:02.000 Five hours. And we thought, do we save Luke some?
00:04:05.000 Or do we eat every single scrap of food?
00:04:08.000 Every single scrap of food on the table.
00:04:12.000 That's just sauce and salad.
00:04:14.000 It's calories and ketchup.
00:04:16.000 I got ketchup for you, mate.
00:04:18.000 Leave my fucking mayonnaise alone.
00:04:22.000 It's like driving in Romania.
00:04:34.000 Same thing. So last night we were chilling with Dan and we drunk enormous amounts of Ignite tequila.
00:05:10.000 And I feel absolutely not really terrible in every single possible way, so what we need to do is like, maybe we can just stay here, it's idyllic, and we can just lay down and just...
00:05:18.000 Or, we can get in the supercars and drive top speed through the Alps.
00:05:28.000 Wait. No, this doesn't make sense.
00:05:31.000 No, but there is no spoon. You don't need your brain to function.
00:05:33.000 You need to just accept the reality.
00:05:35.000 Well, I'm your brother. I'm not your cousin.
00:05:37.000 You're not my cousin. And I feel like if you Aikido'd for a second...
00:05:42.000 You'd be instantly cured and ready to go.
00:05:44.000 Right. Okay. So, all right.
00:05:46.000 So now we're going to get some supercars.
00:05:47.000 We'll drive really fast and we'll go to like another luxury hotel and we're going to do some booze.
00:05:49.000 Oh yeah, get some booze. Wait, no.
00:05:51.000 What? That doesn't make...
00:05:52.000 No. No more booze.
00:05:53.000 In France, into Italy. Famous for its Prosecco.
00:05:56.000 Nice. Six bottles each. Nice.
00:05:57.000 Check it. Fuck France.
00:05:59.000 Go to Italy. Do Aikido. More booze.
00:06:01.000 More booze. Oh.
00:06:02.000 Makes sense to me. Roman booze.
00:06:05.000 Let's go. So the STO doesn't have booze.
00:06:14.000 It clearly cannot be the best car anymore.
00:06:16.000 I thought it was a contender.
00:06:18.000 Can't be a contender anymore.
00:06:21.000 If you literally can't put a backpack inside of the car without having to use the passenger seat, it can't be the best car.
00:06:27.000 And to be fair, If you had, even your case would be a bit annoying for the passenger.
00:06:33.000 That's as small as it gets.
00:06:36.000 This is as big as luggage can get in this car.
00:06:39.000 Literally, can't get bigger than that with any comfort at all.
00:06:43.000 It's the worst road-tripping car.
00:06:46.000 Yeah. Good race car.
00:06:48.000 Not a road-tripping car.
00:06:49.000 So you did no filming this. But to be fair, Luke, although you're useless, you did no filming this.
00:06:56.000 Yeah. Hey.
00:07:00.000 Hoppin' in, bitch, and I start the V. Snakes in the grass, so they harder to see.
00:07:04.000 My brother would give up his light to the old.
00:07:06.000 He told me he'd go be a martyr for me.
00:07:08.000 Said that she ready to counter the six.
00:07:10.000 I hit up Pauline, the charter to pee.
00:07:12.000 Ain't really leave, but I'm back.
00:07:13.000 I'm back. I'm back.
00:07:15.000 I'm back. I'm back. I'm riding around in Atlanta with Sav.
00:07:18.000 Cause that nigga been going harder than me.
00:07:20.000 Nothing to change, I'm just harder to please.
00:07:22.000 Ferrari is making an SUV. We ain't got a choice, we ordering these.
00:07:26.000 Shout out Noel for recording the Vs.
00:07:27.000 He know where this shit bout to go Cause nobody touching the flow They say you alone at the top But it's gotta be lonely below You boys getting ready to die But don't even mention it I may have forgotten to film.
00:07:44.000 I didn't film any of the drain.
00:07:46.000 I didn't film any of the bargain items.
00:07:49.000 Zero. Zero.
00:07:51.000 What were you doing on your father's day?
00:07:53.000 Just, you know, things. Metaverse things.
00:07:57.000 You know? I know.
00:08:03.000 I know. It's actually, it's fine.
00:08:05.000 I forgive you. I'm a forgiving man.
00:08:08.000 I forgive you. All you have to do is drink some beer.
00:08:11.000 No, no. Booze is pure poison.
00:08:13.000 That's not forgiving. Booze is the ultimate of all evils.
00:08:17.000 Now we would get immune to it.
00:08:19.000 No, it's not. No.
00:08:20.000 I've tried that. Tried that move.
00:08:22.000 You need to fight. You need to fight in the mouth.
00:08:24.000 No. Someone clip in every single time I try to fight to become acclimated to booze.
00:08:34.000 That was great content, Luke.
00:08:36.000 That was great content. I fucking hate booze.
00:08:57.000 It's pure poison.
00:08:59.000 I've tried. I've aqua-vented the supercars.
00:09:06.000 Super cars are loose.
00:09:08.000 This is the way to land the baby. It's not long.
00:09:10.000 So we can't work out the gas pumps for it.
00:09:19.000 It's all in Italian and they keep declining our cards even though there's money on them and then every now and then they say you know what I won't decline this time.
00:09:29.000 So the machine called you a Rejecto.
00:09:31.000 Yeah, Rejecto loads at times, and then like, look, and now it's printing out all our receipts.
00:09:36.000 Try it again, Luke. Try it again. Here's your card.
00:09:38.000 Try it again. All right, we'll try it one more time.
00:09:41.000 What's your name? Wait, let's see if Mr.
00:09:43.000 Rejecto gets rejected. Okay.
00:09:45.000 Hold on, let's go work. I do dance, the Italian dance.
00:09:48.000 I taught Joy Prego. Tentative penis.
00:09:54.000 Transacciona negativa.
00:09:56.000 That's all good. Estar a carte.
00:09:58.000 Por favor. Por favor.
00:10:00.000 Okay, that didn't work.
00:10:03.000 Operación anuala.
00:10:06.000 So you're fucked. Didn't work again.
00:10:08.000 It's your failure. Look, I don't need gas.
00:10:12.000 I know a trick that you guys aren't aware of.
00:10:16.000 No, no, no. Fuck gas works. I'm gonna say fuck gas.
00:10:40.000 Listen. Fuck gas.
00:10:42.000 I don't need gas. Fuck gas.
00:10:46.000 Fuck you.
00:10:50.000 So, just explain how Mr.
00:10:51.000 Goode worked. Shut up.
00:10:52.000 Because I know you think that I'm Mr.
00:10:54.000 Goode now. No one knows.
00:10:56.000 No. So the way...
00:10:57.000 We went to new viewers. Yes, they were.
00:11:01.000 We are going to be doing a race.
00:11:02.000 I'm Mr. Goode.
00:11:05.000 You're Mr. Goon. I am Mr.
00:11:06.000 Goon. Can you show the old names why you're calling yourself Mr.
00:11:08.000 Goon? Mr. Goon.
00:11:10.000 Found this in the car.
00:11:14.000 And clearly, I would be Mr.
00:11:16.000 Goon if I wore this hat.
00:11:18.000 Who else would wear this hat?
00:11:21.000 Take the ticket. Who?
00:11:22.000 Who should take the ticket? Take the fucking ticket.
00:11:25.000 Who should take the ticket? Mr.
00:11:27.000 Goon. Mr. Goon, take the ticket.
00:11:31.000 It's not this. Hopefully we didn't lose the ticket, babe.
00:11:33.000 No, we didn't. These are Mr. Goon.
00:11:35.000 Mr. Goon never fails.
00:11:38.000 So, Mr.
00:11:40.000 Goon was the incarnation of a hat.
00:11:44.000 Once you wore it, it completely became a part of you to where you became Mr.
00:11:50.000 Goon. It's a bit like, what's the Spider-Man enemy?
00:11:55.000 You know, the leech thing that goes on you.
00:11:57.000 I don't want Spider-Man.
00:11:59.000 I really have no idea.
00:12:01.000 Venom. Venom.
00:12:03.000 It's like Venom.
00:12:05.000 It was you and a half of it. No, no.
00:12:07.000 That? Pass me the tickets at the toll stations.
00:12:10.000 Did Mr. Goon ever fail you?
00:12:11.000 Yes. No, he never did.
00:12:13.000 You do not have...
00:12:15.000 Do you have video evidence that Mr.
00:12:17.000 Goon has ever failed you ever?
00:12:18.000 I don't record as I drive.
00:12:19.000 Correct. So, we can all agree that there is zero evidence at all to substantiate this claim that Mr.
00:12:26.000 Goon has ever failed. Because I can tell you from personal experience, he has never failed ever.
00:12:31.000 Not once. Not even half a percent failure.
00:12:34.000 Never failed ever.
00:12:35.000 He is failure incarnate. No, he's not.
00:12:37.000 Mr. Goon has never failed.
00:12:40.000 You're right. This isn't Naushkaard, is it?
00:12:42.000 It's not an asphalt.
00:12:44.000 It's not really asphalt, dude.
00:12:46.000 Why did you pause?
00:12:50.000 It's that bubblegum.
00:12:52.000 40% discounted.
00:12:54.000 Super bubblegum.
00:12:57.000 Haha. I mean you'll never financially recover.
00:13:00.000 I might never financially recover.
00:13:01.000 You can get any Italian food. Go get some pizza.
00:13:06.000 Cheetos are Italian food. Are they Italian?
00:13:09.000 Cheetos? Cheetos.
00:13:12.000 Cheetos. Cheetos.
00:13:14.000 There you go. Cheetos are Italian food.
00:13:16.000 Nice if you grow up. Fuck this.
00:13:20.000 If you admit that your name's Big Dummy and his name's Small Dummy, I'll go by his name.
00:13:24.000 Alright. No, don't admit that.
00:13:27.000 My name's Dummy. His name is Small Dummy.
00:13:29.000 That was your name. Big Dummy, I don't mind that much.
00:13:31.000 Big Dummy, I'm big. You have to be Small Dummy.
00:13:34.000 That's much worse. I'll take that L. You can't take the L. Only one of my words is bad.
00:13:41.000 In exchange for pizza, I'll give you two bad bugs.
00:13:46.000 See my mate. Save me.
00:13:48.000 I'm gonna just use all of it so none of you guys can't have any.
00:13:51.000 Nice. You can have one grain of salt.
00:13:56.000 Actually, I don't want any of that salt.
00:13:57.000 Tristan, eat it. Eat it as well.
00:14:01.000 We're both attackers.
00:14:03.000 Now, it's my grand conspiracy.
00:14:04.000 The poison salt trick.
00:14:06.000 You never would have seen it coming.
00:14:09.000 Admit it. Admit it.
00:14:10.000 You never would have suspected it.
00:14:11.000 She is your agent working for you.
00:14:13.000 Correct. Planted here for multi-months.
00:14:16.000 Waiting for the time we come in this exact location.
00:14:21.000 Get on my Cheeto pizza.
00:14:24.000 I think if I punch Luke in the face really hard, I'll be happy.
00:14:28.000 It's worth a try.
00:14:29.000 It's not. It's not worth a try.
00:14:31.000 What's the downside? Well, we're all Luke.
00:14:33.000 Loads. Punch him as hard as I can.
00:14:36.000 What's the downside? He's not driving.
00:14:39.000 There's loads of downside. You lose the best cameraman in the world.
00:14:42.000 Luke, there's literally no downside to us.
00:14:46.000 You have to eat all the downsides.
00:14:49.000 So, I think we should just let Andrew know that we don't need gas.
00:14:52.000 I think we should say fuck gas and just drive off.
00:14:54.000 I agree. I agree.
00:14:55.000 You know what? We have half a tank.
00:14:57.000 I don't know if we'll make it there, but I do know that if we scream fuck gas enough, it'll work anyway.
00:15:03.000 It will be very funny. It will be worth it.
00:15:05.000 You know what? I've run out of gas before.
00:15:07.000 Worth it. Worth it every time.
00:15:11.000 Andrew! Andrew!
00:15:12.000 Andrew! Important! Fuck gas!
00:15:14.000 Fuck gas! Fuck gas!
00:15:21.000 He said it doesn't work because it didn't work for him.
00:15:24.000 What a loser. Yeah, I mean, I was there too.
00:15:26.000 It didn't work for me either, but Tristan, I believe in your powers.
00:15:28.000 Oh, I have powers. I believe in your powers.