Tate Speech - July 10, 2022


Tate on Your Life Story


Episode Stats

Length

3 minutes

Words per Minute

174.05405

Word Count

644

Sentence Count

53

Misogynist Sentences

45

Hate Speech Sentences

9


Summary

Forrest Gump is the story of a man with no serious life control, fell in love with a hoe, and the hoe ruins his life completely. So if my life is Forrest Gump, your life is...forrest gump. And because he couldn t resist that used up pussy from the drug addict, he now has AIDS. Not like it as in making hard, it will give you AIDS like actually you got them. Like actually you have them. And that s a sad ending. It's supposed to be a happy ending. But it's not. And it's bad because you have no genuine grit and no ability to fight through the outside life forces. You might land here and it's good, or it might land bad. Who knows? Because you have to make things happen. That's who I am. I make shit happen. And I don't actually have any influence over my life. I'm just a feather in the wind. And he doesn't have any control over the directions he's going to land in. So he's not going to be an orphan kid, is he? And he has AIDS? And that's a sad story? And I'm going to die at the end of the bus, because he's got AIDS? That's a good one, right? I don t know what I'm gonna do, but I'm not gonna lie, I think it's a pretty good one. xoxo, jk. - JOKER jk, JK, J.O.E.A.S. A.Y. D. E. T. TOTALLY JK JK. W. A YA RYAN JEAN D. A D. M A. DY CHEY N E R A. R A VY VY R A P R A D Y A R A M E R E R S A S C R A S E N G A P E R Y A P A P Y A B E Y A D O R A L Y A S T E A D E A B S E S E M E N A D S A V E N E A S Y A Y A N D E E E A Y Y A F E E N Y A E M A Y S A N G E A N A E Y E A F Y E E S A Y R A Y E N T A B A Y N A Y


Transcript

00:00:00.000 I've decided that GoldenEye, the movie GoldenEye, is my life story.
00:00:12.780 I've decided it's basically completely accurate.
00:00:16.140 Someone steals a helicopter and I stop them and the bitch who tries to squeeze you to death with the thighs
00:00:20.660 and me and the other bitch who was hot, who was in no other movie afterwards,
00:00:25.980 who was the Bond girl and me with a gun running around and the treachery of 006 and blowing up trains.
00:00:32.540 That's basically exactly what I do.
00:00:34.420 In the Tate Confidential, a train stopped and I nearly had to get my laser watch and cut through it.
00:00:39.460 Exactly like GoldenEye, but I didn't.
00:00:41.260 Instead, I cut a tree in half with my ninja kick. Long story.
00:00:45.720 So basically, I've decided that GoldenEye is my life story.
00:00:49.400 And then I'm looking at most people's life story, most people who live, you know, like you dorks,
00:00:54.660 who live your normal lives. And I've decided that your life stories are Forrest Gump.
00:01:06.140 Now, I know you're thinking, oh, Forrest Gump, that's not too bad a choice, actually,
00:01:09.080 because I get to become a shrimp billionaire and do all these interesting things.
00:01:12.360 But no.
00:01:13.140 Are you stupid or something?
00:01:14.840 Forrest Gump is actually the story of a man who is very interesting.
00:01:19.240 If you watch Forrest Gump, I remember this specifically because the beginning scene is a feather
00:01:24.380 and it's a feather flying through the wind in the air.
00:01:28.000 And what they're trying to show with that feather is that Forrest is the feather
00:01:32.500 and that life has blown him in all these strange directions.
00:01:35.200 And he has no real control over the directions.
00:01:37.880 He kind of just, he's lucky and unlucky.
00:01:40.560 He's fortunate and misfortunate.
00:01:41.960 And he just kind of, his life is just the result of being blown in all these random directions.
00:01:48.220 And he doesn't actually have any influence over his life.
00:01:50.560 If you look at Goldeneye, Bond makes things happen.
00:01:53.940 That's who I am.
00:01:54.660 I make shit happen.
00:01:56.420 You guys are just feathers in the wind.
00:01:58.180 Do, do, do, do, do.
00:01:59.480 You might land here and it's good.
00:02:00.900 You might land here and it's bad.
00:02:02.280 Who knows?
00:02:02.960 Because you have no genuine grit and no ability to fight through the outside life forces.
00:02:09.600 But the reason Forrest Gump is your life story is because Forrest Gump is the story of a man
00:02:16.040 who falls in love with some bitch who runs off to be a hoe.
00:02:20.740 And then once he's a shrimp billionaire, she comes back as a single mom with AIDS.
00:02:27.660 And he fucks her and gets AIDS.
00:02:30.320 That's the end.
00:02:30.960 This is the unspoken ending of Forrest Gump.
00:02:34.380 That bitch dies and it's him and its son at the end of the bus.
00:02:38.600 So I'm going to put you on the bus, son.
00:02:40.080 It's supposed to be a happy ending.
00:02:41.260 Anyone with a brain is actually sitting there thinking, no, now Forrest is going to die.
00:02:44.920 Now he has AIDS.
00:02:46.440 And that's going to be an orphan kid.
00:02:48.360 What a sad story.
00:02:49.880 What a shit life.
00:02:50.940 You finally become a shrimp billionaire.
00:02:52.260 And because you couldn't resist that used up pussy from the drug addict, you've now got AIDS.
00:02:56.800 You've literally got AIDS.
00:02:57.900 Not like it as in making hard, it will give you AIDS.
00:03:00.160 Like actually you got them.
00:03:01.160 So Forrest Gump is the story of a man with no serious life control, fell in love with a hoe,
00:03:05.780 and the hoe ruins his life.
00:03:07.880 Literally ruins his life completely.
00:03:09.740 So if my life is Goldeneye, your life is Forrest Gump.
00:03:13.160 Woo!
00:03:18.900 Woo!
00:03:19.900 Woo!
00:03:20.720 Woo!
00:03:22.660 Woo!
00:03:23.840 Woo!
00:03:24.260 Woo!
00:03:24.780 Woo!
00:03:25.020 Woo!
00:03:25.280 Woo!
00:03:25.380 Woo!
00:03:25.560 Woo!
00:03:26.320 Woo.
00:03:26.840 Woo!
00:03:27.340 Woo!
00:03:27.360 Woo!
00:03:27.380 Woo!
00:03:27.980 Woo!
00:03:29.200 Woo!
00:03:29.220 Woo!
00:03:29.260 Woo!
00:03:29.680 Woo!
00:03:29.940 Woo.
00:03:30.460 Woo!
00:03:31.040 Woo!
00:03:31.140 Woo!
00:03:31.360 Woo!
00:03:31.480 Woo!
00:03:31.700 Woo!
00:03:32.120 Woo!
00:03:32.180 Woo!
00:03:33.340 Mine!
00:03:33.740 Woo!
00:03:34.260 Woo!
00:03:35.220 Woo!
00:03:35.820 Woo!
00:03:36.420 Woo!
00:03:38.620 Woo!
00:03:39.120 Woo!
00:03:39.400 Woo!
00:03:39.560 Woo!
00:03:40.140 Woo!
00:03:41.200 Woo! Fear DENNIS!