Tate Speech - October 11, 2024


The Tates Quit Smoking | Tate Confidential Ep 260


Episode Stats

Length

17 minutes

Words per Minute

150.93933

Word Count

2,571

Sentence Count

352

Misogynist Sentences

5

Hate Speech Sentences

10


Summary

Tristan and I talk about how smoking is bad for you and why you should eat bones to prove it's good for your bones. Also, Tristan is sick because he quit smoking and now he's never sick again. I'm sick because I'm never sick anymore. I don't know what happened to make me sick, but I think you're going to want to listen to this episode to prove to yourself that smoking is actually good for you. I hope you enjoy this episode and that it makes you want to quit smoking. If you don't, then you're not listening to the right podcast. And if you do, then maybe you should listen to the wrong podcast, because it's probably better than this one. Have a nice rest of your day and rest of the week. Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers, EJ & AJ. - The Cheerios Crew - EJ and AJ Music: "Podcast" by Zapsplat Logo by and "The Cheers Crew" by . Art: "The Jerks" by Jeff Perla Editor: & "The Piggie Crew" Theme Song: "Sick" by Ian Dorsch - "Goodbye" by Suneaters (feat. "Thank You" by The Good Mr. Goodbye" by Kevin McLeod Thank you for listening to this podcast and supporting us in our efforts to make this podcast. Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We really appreciate it. Thank you so much. We appreciate the support and support us in advance and support our efforts. We'll be looking out for your support. We're looking out there. We can't thank you. You're amazing. We love you, we really appreciate you, you're amazing, we appreciate you. We've got a lot of support, we're working hard, we'll keep you, Thank you, thank you, and we're sending you back and we'll see you back, we won't forget you, more of you're listening out, more than you'll be back soon, we love you'll see us soon, next week, more in a few days. XOXO - Thank you! - xoxo - Eans, Eans "The Good Lord" - The Good Lord - Kevin


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Make him dance.
00:00:07.000 I'll dance.
00:00:10.000 Come on Tristan, dance some time.
00:00:19.000 Dance some time T.
00:00:20.000 Come on Tristan, we don't have any music.
00:00:21.000 First thing in the morning, let's dance.
00:00:24.000 Nice.
00:00:25.000 Come on, Tristan. Let's dance.
00:00:29.000 Are you upset they took your lada?
00:00:31.000 Are you upset you got a small penis and the whole house hates you?
00:00:34.000 Are you upset because everyone thinks you're a fucking dickhead?
00:00:37.000 Is that what it is? Are you upset that when you're not around we all make retard voice and pretend we're Tristan?
00:00:44.000 Is that what it is? Is that why you're upset because everyone talks about you that way?
00:00:48.000 Behind your back.
00:00:50.000 Is that why? Because we have large powwows standing around talking about the fact that the house could be better if you weren't in it.
00:00:56.000 Is that why you're upset? Is that why?
00:00:58.000 Is that why you're sad? Come on, T. Let's dance.
00:01:02.000 Maybe you can dance it off.
00:01:04.000 Maybe you can dance the other way.
00:01:07.000 Nice. So you quit smoking?
00:01:19.000 I've quit smoking. People say quitting smoking is hard.
00:01:23.000 So what I did is I supercharged my smoking.
00:01:26.000 I was smoking all day every day for two months.
00:01:30.000 All day every day. I wake up.
00:01:31.000 Confirmed, no? Confirmed.
00:01:33.000 All day every day.
00:01:34.000 And not just cigarettes. Cigars and shisha, the strongest possible amount.
00:01:38.000 So I was at least 100 times more nicotated than the average cigarette smoker.
00:01:44.000 So then when I was fully supercharged on nicotine, I decided to quit cold turkey.
00:01:47.000 So I'm three days in. I haven't had any shisha, I've just totally quit, and it's easy.
00:01:52.000 Because I'm a master of Aikido.
00:01:54.000 So I'm gonna quit for a while, prove that quitting's easy, so when the next person goes,
00:01:57.000 I tried to quit smoking, I had a nicotine patch, and I couldn't do it,
00:02:01.000 I can just call it a loser, and I'm gonna get back on smoking loads.
00:02:04.000 Conclusive evidence that cigarettes and shisha and cigar are good for you is that I am sick
00:02:14.000 for the first time in forever.
00:02:16.000 You're never sick. Ever.
00:02:17.000 I'm never sick. And it's a beautiful day outside.
00:02:19.000 It's hot. It's not cold.
00:02:21.000 It's a nice hot day.
00:02:23.000 I'm never sick. And I'm sick because I've quit smoking.
00:02:26.000 Tristan's also sick because he quit smoking.
00:02:29.000 This both happened to both of you at the same time.
00:02:30.000 We stopped smoking and it's made us sick.
00:02:33.000 Proof that smoking's actually super good for you.
00:02:36.000 I'm a week in, I'm only one more week till I can go back to smoking as much as humanly possible.
00:02:40.000 I can get back on the full time, no longer breathing air, only breathing smoke.
00:02:44.000 Like a hero. But, it's kind of amazing for everyone at home, smoking's bad for you, then why am I sick now?
00:02:49.000 Was I ever sick when I was smoking all those shisha pipes?
00:02:52.000 Was I ever sick when I was puffing all those cigars?
00:02:54.000 Fucking never. Now I'm sick.
00:02:56.000 Have you thought that maybe your body is finally expelling all of the nasty toxins inside of your body?
00:03:01.000 It's all nasty toxins. It's power.
00:03:03.000 It goes inside of my soul and spirit.
00:03:05.000 Why am I so strong?
00:03:07.000 It's the smoking. I've always knew it was.
00:03:09.000 But everyone said smoking was hard to quit, so I had to prove that it was easy to do.
00:03:13.000 And now I'm mad that I'm down this path of mediocrity, along with all the average normies who go, this is a hard path to walk.
00:03:20.000 It's like a mountain. You're surrounded by a bunch of losers, and they're saying, this is a mountain.
00:03:23.000 It's really hard to climb because quitting smoking is hard.
00:03:25.000 And they're struggling to get up it, and you're just walking up without eating, saying, what the fuck?
00:03:29.000 You're all losers. Now I just, I need a fat cigar.
00:03:32.000 I guarantee you I had a big fat cigar, I'd be fine tomorrow.
00:03:35.000 But I can't.
00:03:37.000 I have to go seven more days.
00:03:39.000 So seven more days, and you're right back to it.
00:03:42.000 I've genuinely struggled 0% at any point during this.
00:03:44.000 Anyone who says quitting smoking is hard is a fucking loser.
00:03:47.000 I think if you eat bones, your bones get stronger.
00:03:57.000 I'm just trying to...
00:03:59.000 What do you think? That can't be good for your teeth.
00:04:02.000 There's no way. Prove to me that's not true.
00:04:06.000 Prove to me. You're going to break a tooth and then that's all the proof I need.
00:04:09.000 I didn't say my teeth, I said my bones.
00:04:10.000 Prove to me my bones do not get stronger if I eat bones.
00:04:14.000 You have no proof at all.
00:04:15.000 You're going through life with no proof.
00:04:18.000 No proof. None.
00:04:20.000 Just saying shit. Prove it.
00:04:23.000 You have no evidence. There's no way eating bones like that is good for you.
00:04:25.000 You have no evidence. There's evidence though.
00:04:27.000 I don't have evidence.
00:04:29.000 Pure intuition.
00:04:30.000 Because I said so, it's not good.
00:04:32.000 Trying to eat me broke. And you have no evidence.
00:04:37.000 Tristan, your brother's sick because he stopped smoking.
00:04:40.000 Yeah, I stopped smoking too.
00:04:41.000 I got this horrible cough. I truly believe that this is a sign that you need to quit for good.
00:04:49.000 Your body's finally getting rid of all the toxins.
00:04:50.000 Rid of the toxins? Air is toxic.
00:04:53.000 Smoke that keeps the...
00:04:54.000 It's the cleansing smoke that keeps the bacteria and the germs away.
00:04:59.000 I feel much worse.
00:05:01.000 This is shit. I didn't just prove a point.
00:05:04.000 How many days has it been?
00:05:06.000 This is the fifth. Day five.
00:05:10.000 I think you're gonna become a superhuman at day seven.
00:05:12.000 No, I was a superhuman when I smoked.
00:05:16.000 So you also feel sick? Maybe I need to substitute my smoking with some heavy drinking.
00:05:22.000 That might fix me a little bit, you know?
00:05:25.000 What do you think? You might be onto something.
00:05:27.000 And you can't do that, but maybe I can just keep myself going.
00:05:30.000 As sick as I feel from not smoking with some incredibly heavy drinking.
00:05:34.000 Incredibly heavy. I'm talking start now.
00:05:36.000 What's it? 11.30am? Start now.
00:05:39.000 Don't stop till 2am.
00:05:42.000 14 hours. I think Marcel wants to join you.
00:05:45.000 I think you want to join me.
00:05:46.000 No, absolutely not.
00:05:48.000 I'm telling you, I am going somewhere. I am going to be alone.
00:05:53.000 Say again?
00:06:16.000 Not smoking is killing.
00:06:17.000 I've never seen Andrew sick a day of my life.
00:06:20.000 Andrew, you seriously need to consider quitting not smoking.
00:06:23.000 I need to take my health seriously and make sure that I always smoke for the rest of my life.
00:06:27.000 Andrew, this is your body finally expelling all of the toxins that you've accumulated over all these years.
00:06:32.000 I run on toxins. I'm toxically masculine.
00:06:37.000 Pure toxins. I need toxins in my blood is what makes me strong.
00:06:40.000 I think I destroy everybody.
00:06:41.000 You look at me and see, okay, that man is dangerous.
00:06:44.000 Because I'm full of fucking toxins, of course.
00:06:46.000 I've got nothing where I've got water, air, green grass, your fucking Bible verses.
00:06:51.000 This is bullshit. I need nicotine and caffeine.
00:06:55.000 Slow up my caffeine. Thank the fuck I didn't quit coffee or I'd be dead.
00:06:58.000 I'd already quit coffee. If I quit coffee and cigars slash shisha at the same time, I'd genuinely die.
00:07:05.000 I'm actually genuinely very sick and I guarantee the second I can smoke cigars again, I'll be 100% fine.
00:07:11.000 Smoke. I need toxins.
00:07:15.000 Tristan, you're on like what?
00:07:16.000 Day four, day five? Six, I think.
00:07:18.000 Is it day seven? Day six.
00:07:19.000 Tomorrow's day seven. Sunday to Sunday.
00:07:22.000 How many days you gone? Say the same six.
00:07:26.000 I'm gonna do two whole weeks to prove it's easy and then I'm gonna get back to smoking as much as possible.
00:07:32.000 To this fruity's young I smoke my fucking lungs.
00:07:35.000 I'm a fucking faggot.
00:08:13.000 You fumbled the bag, boss.
00:08:15.000 You should have won. Niggers can't do anything right.
00:08:19.000 $5100 please.
00:08:19.000 Nothing!
00:08:20.000 Unbelievable.
00:08:21.000 All in.
00:08:25.000 All in sir.
00:08:26.000 May I have my watch please?
00:08:28.000 Tristan, you've got a fever.
00:08:30.000 You can't be drinking beer when you have a fever.
00:08:32.000 Yeah, I've got booze fever. Party fever.
00:08:36.000 100 to 12. Don't tell me what to do, you cunt.
00:08:39.000 How much?
00:08:40.000 100.
00:08:41.000 Cool.
00:08:43.000 I got shit cards.
00:08:44.000 Cool.
00:08:45.000 Check, ready?
00:08:46.000 I don't even know what I have, check.
00:08:48.000 Check the pocket ace.
00:08:55.000 I think I need more nuts for it.
00:09:03.000 I think I need more nuts for it.
00:09:05.000 You don't want nuts.
00:09:07.000 I'm not trying.
00:09:09.000 Oh, I didn't see what that was for.
00:09:11.000 Bear points.
00:09:13.000 I'm going to save them.
00:09:15.000 Michael.
00:09:17.000 You ran me a cigarette as well.
00:09:19.000 And where's Marcel's rum and coke?
00:09:21.000 Oh my goodness.
00:09:23.000 My first smoke in two weeks.
00:09:25.000 You have been waiting for this day.
00:09:27.000 You know what? Not really. It's actually annoyed me how easy it was to quit.
00:09:32.000 Because it's made me hate humanity even more than I already did.
00:09:35.000 Because people talk about how hard it is to do things.
00:09:37.000 People say, oh it's so hard to quit cigarettes and I didn't have nicotine patches and it was so difficult to beat because they're fucking losers.
00:09:42.000 Do you know how easy it was to quit? I just stopped.
00:09:44.000 I smoked every day, all day, and then I said, I quit now, so I didn't smoke anymore.
00:09:49.000 For two solid weeks, I didn't touch it.
00:09:50.000 And if I kind of felt like having something, I just didn't.
00:09:53.000 So then the quitting completed.
00:09:55.000 If I couldn't quit, I'd have to quit.
00:09:57.000 But I could quit, so now I'll never quit.
00:10:01.000 Does that make sense? Quitting was so easy, after two days I wanted to quit my quitting because I was like, this isn't even difficult, this is just boring.
00:10:08.000 So after two solid weeks of not smoking, I'm back to smoking full time, and quitting smoking is easy, and anyone who ever struggles, if you're going through life, gentlemen, and someone comes up to you and goes, you know, I actually struggled to quit smoking, just don't talk to them, because they're the kind of person with no self-control, they're probably gonna try and fuck your bitch, they're a loser.
00:10:21.000 Stay away from these people. It's fucking easy.
00:10:24.000 I quit from birth. I quit not smoking.
00:10:30.000 Because I was not smoking for the last two weeks, but my willpower, right, I've now quit not smoking.
00:10:36.000 Nice. I'm back.
00:10:37.000 How is it? I'm back!
00:10:44.000 Alright, whose turn is it?
00:10:46.000 Oh yeah, check this one.
00:10:48.000 Oh, check.
00:10:50.000 All right, what are we doing?
00:10:52.000 Closed card, six, queen, six.
00:10:54.000 Check.
00:10:59.000 Two hundred.
00:11:01.000 Call.
00:11:07.000 Call all in to 50.
00:11:08.000 50 more? 50 more?
00:11:11.000 All-in!
00:11:13.000 All-in! Four players, one all-in.
00:11:17.000 Third. Three of spills.
00:11:20.000 Check.
00:11:32.000 Let's see the cards.
00:11:33.000 He's got a spade.
00:11:34.000 He's got a queen.
00:11:35.000 He's got a spade.
00:11:36.000 Queens.
00:11:37.000 He's got a spade, yes.
00:11:38.000 And he's hot.
00:11:39.000 Flush.
00:11:40.000 Check.
00:11:44.000 Let's see the cards.
00:11:45.000 He's got a spade.
00:11:46.000 He's got a queen.
00:11:47.000 He's got a spade.
00:11:48.000 Queens.
00:11:49.000 He's got a queen.
00:11:50.000 He's got a spade.
00:11:51.000 He's got a queen.
00:11:52.000 He's got a spade.
00:11:53.000 He's got a queen.
00:11:55.000 Aces have actually beat me the fuck up today.
00:12:00.000 Yeah Nigel has.
00:12:03.000 Ace of spades, he got it.
00:12:05.000 Relays, 2,000.
00:12:11.000 Relays, 4,000.
00:12:17.000 We're all in. Call.
00:12:20.000 Call? 2,000.
00:12:24.000 Showdown please.
00:12:26.000 Straight.
00:12:28.000 Straight.
00:12:32.000 Three of a kind.
00:12:34.000 Three of a kind.
00:12:38.000 Three of a kind straight.
00:12:41.000 We both had three of a kind.
00:12:42.000 We had to bet a bit. Where's your dad?
00:12:49.000 And got one. He's dead like your dad.
00:12:54.000 Of course. I'm sure he was home.
00:12:58.000 You wish. The only person's dad is home at this table, Bailey.
00:13:03.000 Hi dad!
00:13:06.000 I'm going to call my dad right now.
00:13:09.000 I'm going to call him and say I love you dad.
00:13:10.000 He answers? I'm at home with your mother!
00:13:14.000 That's my dad. Weird.
00:13:16.000 You're a family of psychos.
00:13:18.000 Small blind big like this.
00:13:24.000 Let's see the curve. I thought I could bully my way out.
00:13:29.000 Aces and Kings.
00:13:35.000 Split part though, no?
00:13:37.000 Aces and Kings.
00:13:41.000 No, the 8th place.
00:13:44.000 No way. So he wins.
00:13:46.000 Yeah. You both have aces, you both have kings.
00:13:49.000 Unbelievable. He's got an 8.
00:13:50.000 You've got a 7. Yeah, Nigel wins.
00:13:53.000 Nigel wins at hand, I can't believe it.
00:13:54.000 Because the aces and kings, we both had aces.
00:13:57.000 And I had two pairs.
00:13:59.000 Andrew's 7 being a pair matters zero.
00:14:01.000 Because the 8th place is the 5th highest card.
00:14:04.000 So gay. You see why I can't play this game?
00:14:08.000 That was the most winning hand.
00:14:09.000 I had two pairs, bro. And then the king fucked Andrew.
00:14:13.000 Good job, Knight. Good hand.
00:14:16.000 So how much has he got there? Because I put four.
00:14:18.000 3,700. Yeah, so I put four, I take three.
00:14:20.000 Knight is back in the game. Yeah, I got fucked over by the cards.
00:14:23.000 It's bullshit. I had two pair, he had one pair, and he wins.
00:14:26.000 No, skill issue. Yeah, true.
00:14:29.000 How the fuck did you lose a two pair, you dickhead?
00:14:31.000 I'm a dickhead. I must be.
00:14:32.000 That leads into three aces.
00:14:34.000 Bro, how the fuck did that even happen?
00:14:36.000 Knight, you're back in the game.
00:14:37.000 I know, I need to go. How did that even happen?
00:14:39.000 I need to go. 1,000 to 1,000, then you buy it.
00:14:42.000 Now I have to get extra reckless.
00:14:44.000 What am I? 1,000.
00:14:47.000 Extra reckless.
00:14:49.000 Because if you win, you're kind of rich.
00:14:51.000 Kind of. Because you win 10,000 if you win.
00:14:55.000 If you lose, you have to pay 400 to do it.
00:14:58.000 What a great bet. That's good odds.
00:15:00.000 That's a good odds. Dance a little bit.
00:15:02.000 Should add to my powers.
00:15:04.000 It's a problem with last round, not enough dancing.
00:15:06.000 That's why Bailey got that lucky card that I'm on the whole fucking map.
00:15:09.000 So, you admit on camera that I won?
00:15:11.000 You got one super lucky card, yeah.
00:15:13.000 I planned that all along. You didn't plan it all along.
00:15:15.000 I did, you fell into my trap.
00:15:17.000 Well, I planned you winning that game all along, so I could all along beat you at this hand all along, all along.
00:15:24.000 Sometimes you got nowhere to tap around.
00:15:28.000 You better know when to pop around and show them.
00:15:30.000 Only the Queen of Hearts could have beaten me.
00:15:33.000 Only the Queen of Hearts could have beaten me.
00:15:35.000 And I just had to think one card.
00:15:37.000 Sim! Queen of hearts!
00:15:43.000 Gay! So you needed a bitch.
00:15:47.000 Now I hate you. That was a sick hand.
00:15:53.000 So what I did was, I distract the waiter with the beer sip, right?
00:15:57.000 Freeze time! Deal myself the highest flush between you guys good hands too.
00:16:03.000 And then when he deals the cards he doesn't realize that I froze time with the power of drinking.
00:16:08.000 Alright Bernard. Bro!
00:16:10.000 Oh my fucking gosh!
00:16:14.000 Sick show! Bro!
00:16:15.000 These are not Bernard's watches so we don't know.
00:16:17.000 These we can't know. Bro, I'm not going to get the same shit.
00:16:20.000 These motherfuckers don't know about Bernard.
00:16:22.000 Bernard is a G. Three hours more.
00:16:28.000 Six hours more. Straight.
00:16:33.000 I think straight, and a straight, and a straight block.
00:16:37.000 Hold. I doubt two.
00:16:48.000 Two's a fucking block. Got a check.
00:16:52.000 I can just roll up, cause I'm swoll up.
00:16:53.000 So that birthday cake, you're the Cobra.
00:16:55.000 Bugatti for real, I'm Cobra.
00:16:57.000 The autobiography Rover.
00:16:58.000 Got the key to my city, it's over.
00:17:00.000 Snow thoughts, only in the color Culver's.