Tate Speech - July 26, 2022


TORNADO AIKIDO STYLE | Tate Confidential Ep. 118


Episode Stats

Length

21 minutes

Words per Minute

123.8949

Word Count

2,672

Sentence Count

401

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary

Tristan and Luke argue about whether eggs are real or not, and who is going to win in a battle of who can make the most money on a single bottle of gin and tonic, and which is better, a shot of tequila or a chunky chunky drink, and a glass or a glass of water. Also, we find out who's going to be the King of Nothing and who will be the Queen of Nothing, and it's not who we thought it would be! We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you do, please leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, and we'll read out your comments and thoughts on the next episode! XOXO, Luke xxx xoxo Luke x Luke Ken Tristan Ross Kade Kieran Jaden Sam Jack James Keanu Cheyenne Joe Danny Matt Ryan Alex Evan Matthew Jake Justin Chad Will Ben Chris Liam Gage Aiden Cass Andres Cam Daniel Julian Jordan Ian David Mike Mark Adam Josh John Brandon Christian Our thoughts on this episode Is this episode good or bad? Can you be a superhero or not a superhero ? Michael Andrew Brian What do you think of it's better than it's a superhero? Will it be better than that? Can't it be a better than a superhero?? or not? Do you have a better one? We'll let us know what you're a superhero, we'll talk about it? Thanks for listening to this episode? And we'll let you know what we're working on next week? Thank you for your support? ? Thanks to our sponsors and we appreciate it - Luke, Luke, I'll be back next week :) Love you guys, Luke and Ken, Jason, I'm not sure what you'll be buying a truck? , Luke, you're not getting any more of this? Jake, I don't have a car?


Transcript

00:00:02.000 I wanna say mama, mama, I got a chunky, I want it, too. Yes, sir, I'm...
00:00:07.000 Good shot, man, good take!
00:00:09.000 Good shot, man, good take!
00:00:20.000 They can't gonna take that.
00:00:26.000 Tristan, what are you doing?
00:00:37.000 You're not gonna die, Luke.
00:00:39.000 Stop complaining. Why is it always booze?
00:00:44.000 You can't just drive Ferraris and booze.
00:00:46.000 It's gin and tonic. Yeah, booze.
00:00:49.000 Do you want your driver to be refreshed and happy?
00:00:54.000 Yes or no? Sort of.
00:00:56.000 You know what you can do, Luke?
00:00:58.000 The only way to alleviate your tensions and your fucking crybabyness about me drinking and driving is to have a little drink yourself.
00:01:06.000 Take the edge off. Got one for you.
00:01:08.000 I remember you did.
00:01:09.000 How do you find it? Crack that open.
00:01:14.000 I said I wanted water.
00:01:16.000 So? This is better.
00:01:19.000 It's more expensive.
00:01:20.000 If water is £1 and gin and tonic is £5, which one's better?
00:01:23.000 Drink up.
00:01:30.000 Call the top, bitch, get in my car.
00:01:32.000 Got my seat in the front, got no seat in the front.
00:01:35.000 Got a couple of dope, bitch, get in my car.
00:01:39.000 Don't tell me you don't know that I'm sick.
00:01:57.000 Marcel, you can't just keep ordering fucking gin and tonics and stiff drinks.
00:02:01.000 Why? Why?
00:02:03.000 Why? He just keeps doing it.
00:02:05.000 Yeah, of course. Why?
00:02:08.000 Today in the car, I mastered tornado style.
00:02:10.000 You weren't there. I wasn't there.
00:02:13.000 I'm a master of tornado style.
00:02:17.000 You understand? So I do my Aikido so quickly that it creates a vortex.
00:02:21.000 Like a tornado. It goes high into the sky.
00:02:24.000 We need to agree, eggs ain't real so I can go.
00:02:30.000 I'm tired of this. Sign?
00:02:34.000 Where? Here? Eggs aren't real.
00:02:36.000 Okay. Looks like it came to an agreement, my friend.
00:02:40.000 Thank you very much. Tornado style?
00:02:44.000 Tornado style. My tornado style was so fierce, I got the police to sign a contract admitting that eggs are not real.
00:02:52.000 It was that fierce.
00:02:54.000 I actually got the police to sign a contract admitting that eggs are not real.
00:02:58.000 Si. Marcel, you were there.
00:03:01.000 Si. I said, eggs are not real, senor.
00:03:05.000 Sign here. Let me sign it.
00:03:07.000 He signed it. So it's...
00:03:09.000 Ni no hablo tornado styler.
00:03:14.000 Ni no hablo tornado styler.
00:03:15.000 Ni no hablo tornado styler. I let him know that I was going to get him.
00:03:18.000 He signed away.
00:03:19.000 So now it's official. It's official.
00:03:22.000 Powers to be of admitted, eggs are not real.
00:03:24.000 Eggs are not real. Eggs are not real.
00:03:27.000 Rumpol you need to boom with the eggs are not real like with celebration.
00:03:31.000 Yeah, end of episode.
00:03:33.000 I'm going to do the King of Nothing part.
00:03:40.000 He's going to win.
00:03:47.000 Yeah, he's going to win.
00:04:49.000 Marcel, Tristan's a machine.
00:04:51.000 What? He's a machine, Marcel.
00:04:54.000 Marcel, he's a pure machine.
00:05:00.000 You know what though?
00:05:01.000 This bottle's actually two.
00:05:03.000 Who's got the one glass? Where's Ken?
00:05:05.000 Ken had a glass. You had a glass?
00:05:07.000 No, no. You have a glass?
00:05:10.000 No, the bottle.
00:05:12.000 Give me the glass, I'll impress you.
00:05:16.000 Ross, give me that glass, I'll impress you.
00:05:17.000 Give me that glass, I'm gonna impress you.
00:05:19.000 He will impress you.
00:05:21.000 Give me the glass, I'm gonna impress you.
00:05:22.000 You ready? It's the one glass that we all have, yeah?
00:05:24.000 So I'm gonna pour myself a mixed drink, yeah?
00:05:26.000 Woah, no no no no.
00:05:33.000 No, Tristan's a superhero.
00:05:35.000 You guys have no clue. Tristan's literally a superhero.
00:05:42.000 He's a superhero.
00:05:45.000 He's a superhero. He's a superhero.
00:05:53.000 One stone.
00:05:56.000 One stone.
00:06:00.000 You won't have to carry him, Marcel.
00:06:01.000 He's a superhero. How does he wave?
00:06:03.000 What are we doing?
00:06:13.000 Bye!
00:06:14.000 Rolls Royce. Aikido?
00:06:16.000 Rolls Royce. No, but you can't just take private jets to go wherever and buy new cars all the time.
00:06:22.000 We already bought the car, Luke.
00:06:24.000 You have to go get it. You can't.
00:06:27.000 Just buy cars and not collect them.
00:06:29.000 That's worse than buying them and going to collect them.
00:06:31.000 Yes, we've got to go get it. Drive all 20 minutes, board.
00:06:36.000 Wait, we just did a whole Europe trip.
00:06:39.000 That's what we just finished.
00:06:40.000 Welcome to the real world. We're going to make school.
00:06:43.000 What else can we do with the roles?
00:06:45.000 I'll drive it home. Don't they truck it?
00:06:49.000 Why don't I buy a car to truck it?
00:06:50.000 There's no ceremony.
00:06:52.000 Buying a car to put it on a truck for the truck to drive the car doesn't make any sense.
00:06:57.000 So we're going to do all this dumb shit we just did basically again.
00:07:01.000 I hope you're ready for some boozing.
00:07:03.000 I'm not sure I can go again.
00:07:04.000 Boozing? Marcel, are you coming?
00:07:07.000 I can't come, guys.
00:07:09.000 Why? I actually can't keep out with you guys.
00:07:12.000 I don't know how you guys do it. Tornado style.
00:07:14.000 Tornado style. You know what's funny about private jets?
00:07:21.000 They literally never ask you to wear a mask ever.
00:07:24.000 In Spain's mask ass. Yeah, that's true.
00:07:26.000 Yeah, they don't play that.
00:07:29.000 Yeah. It's almost as if they know something.
00:07:34.000 I know rich people don't play fucking stupid games Yeah, no, let's remember this Tank Confidential might not know this man.
00:07:50.000 This man is a champion!
00:08:33.000 And here we are.
00:08:35.000 Hey Marcel, you ever heard this?
00:08:37.000 Oh, oh, the sweet sound of...
00:08:44.000 Why am I being peer pressure?
00:08:47.000 Because we don't like you.
00:08:48.000 Because we don't like you.
00:08:51.000 We don't like you. You started all this shit first day.
00:08:54.000 No, you started me.
00:08:56.000 And I said, listen, this is my life.
00:08:58.000 You bought this book. You do think this ends.
00:09:00.000 No, no, they don't realize.
00:09:03.000 Every day, it never ends.
00:09:05.000 It never ends. You do need this different.
00:09:10.000 You need a stiff drink. I remember you always saying you need a stiff drink.
00:09:13.000 Yeah, he did say that lots of times.
00:09:15.000 Loads of times. Loads of times.
00:09:17.000 What do you mean disgusting? It's a nice stiff drink.
00:09:20.000 It is a stiff drink. With a slug of gin in the morning for breakfast.
00:09:25.000 Can't go wrong. We haven't even had breakfast.
00:09:29.000 That is breakfast.
00:09:31.000 Yeah, I haven't had breakfast. I just had breakfast.
00:09:32.000 No, no, no. I've had breakfast because mine's gone.
00:09:36.000 Hey, tell me. Do something terrible.
00:09:42.000 I'm gonna let them know. I'm not as fast as these two, but I can still do it.
00:09:49.000 All three sides.
00:09:52.000 Yeah! No, we haven't filmed.
00:09:56.000 They all know.
00:09:59.000 Try the hot chocolate.
00:10:04.000 Maybe it'll help. Oh, Marcel, you feel it, don't you?
00:10:16.000 I do. I know. I've been there.
00:10:18.000 This is me. Welcome to the beach club, but he was hammered.
00:10:26.000 He was the coolest guy in the world.
00:10:28.000 Coming up to me going...
00:10:30.000 What are you doing?
00:10:36.000 Go away! I thought this day was the day where we get to relax.
00:10:47.000 Oh! Marcel!
00:10:49.000 Marcel! This is our life.
00:10:52.000 This is our life. No, it wasn't an episode.
00:10:55.000 It wasn't like a quick, ah!
00:10:58.000 This is un-normal.
00:11:00.000 Yeah, I feel like wasn't fairly brief.
00:11:01.000 No!
00:11:03.000 Sorry.
00:11:05.000 You've known me for 15 years.
00:11:07.000 Now imagine back in the day when we used to hang out.
00:11:11.000 We'd say, okay, if 15 years you're gonna be hanging out with Tristan and he's worth $20 million you don't think that this one...
00:11:17.000 I know, I know.
00:11:19.000 You should know. Drink your booze.
00:11:21.000 He said, there are four more coming.
00:11:23.000 They did order four more.
00:11:25.000 I smell it.
00:11:27.000 you Alright, so I understand your guys' side now when you bully me.
00:11:31.000 Yeah, this is fun. Yeah, this is fun.
00:11:33.000 Yeah, this is quite fun. This is great.
00:11:34.000 This is quite fun. I will never ever stop.
00:11:36.000 I know. This is quite fun.
00:11:38.000 For the rest of your life. Super fun. You know the worst thing?
00:11:44.000 Me and you have got the hardest to leave.
00:11:45.000 I know. Get to sit here and chill.
00:11:48.000 Listen to this. You're only as good as your last drink.
00:11:51.000 Marcelo, you are only enthusiastic.
00:11:54.000 Did you ever think that, you know, 15 minutes...
00:11:58.000 Hello.
00:11:58.000 Hi, how are you?
00:11:59.000 Wonderful, how are you?
00:12:01.000 Thank you.
00:12:02.000 My colleague told me that you wanted some more...
00:12:04.000 Four more gin and tonic, yes.
00:12:05.000 Four more gin and tonic.
00:12:06.000 And one cappuccino.
00:12:07.000 And one cappuccino.
00:12:08.000 Thank you.
00:12:09.000 Every saying you've made as a child has come back to fuck me over.
00:12:18.000 You need a stiff drink. I feel like you need a stiff drink.
00:12:23.000 You kept saying it. You do need a stiff drink.
00:12:24.000 I'm worried. You're looking better now.
00:12:29.000 Looking much healthier.
00:12:30.000 Nice. No, hot chocolate.
00:12:34.000 Coffee does help.
00:12:36.000 Coffee.
00:12:38.000 He drinks hot chocolate.
00:12:40.000 Yo, you were chillin'.
00:13:02.000 Chase, how the fuck have you done this?
00:13:05.000 We've done alright. We've done okay.
00:13:08.000 No, you've done- It's alright, isn't it?
00:13:09.000 It's crazy. It's crazy that my friend- I need a stiff drink.
00:13:16.000 I need a stiff drink. What do you mean you need a stiff drink?
00:13:18.000 We just had three stiff drinks.
00:13:20.000 Oh, three drinks?
00:13:21.000 Yeah, I'm out. It's 10 a.m.
00:13:24.000 It's 10 a.m. We had four stiff drinks.
00:13:28.000 Fuck. I eat a stiff drink.
00:13:31.000 I remember the first time I drank.
00:13:34.000 Like your cousin. Your cousin?
00:13:36.000 Not my cousin. Marcel, what's your cousin doing?
00:13:39.000 You've got my cousin. Marcel, we're in this together.
00:13:41.000 To be fair, you are both cousins today.
00:13:44.000 Right now, how you're going on about the stiff drinks, and you are cousins.
00:13:48.000 I'm not sure how you guys do it.
00:13:52.000 I don't know either, Marcel.
00:13:53.000 Yeah. Nah, this shit's real.
00:13:56.000 100%. I don't lie. No, Marcel, the funny thing is they all want to come.
00:14:01.000 Everyone thinks it's easy.
00:14:03.000 They think it's easy. This is the worst thing.
00:14:05.000 I'm going to sleep and then I'm going to chat shit tomorrow.
00:14:09.000 Bro, that was messing it up.
00:14:11.000 Bro, non-stop.
00:14:13.000 And then I'm going to message you guys and chat shit tomorrow.
00:14:16.000 Yeah, that's true. Now you need us to three.
00:14:19.000 But bro, bro, when you do that shit and I send a plane ticket to you, then what are you going to do?
00:14:24.000 Then what are you going to do? I have no choice.
00:14:26.000 Oh, Marcel. I got to board the plane.
00:14:28.000 Marcel, the plane ticket is going to come.
00:14:30.000 The plane ticket is going to come.
00:14:31.000 I'll send the jet. Yeah.
00:14:33.000 Oh, oh, he wants the booze.
00:14:36.000 So now Marcel's pouring drinks.
00:14:38.000 You think you can take me on Marcel?
00:14:39.000 You think you can take me off? The glass has changed now.
00:14:41.000 Marcel, no, Marcel.
00:14:43.000 Marcel, but the altitude's changed.
00:14:46.000 You don't know about drinking in altitude?
00:14:48.000 I do. Marcella, how many times have you been at this altitude?
00:14:51.000 At least...
00:14:54.000 Zero times. Listen, when I do tornado style, the first thing I do is I go up to the altitude.
00:15:00.000 To check. To check.
00:15:01.000 It's the space. When I go back down, and then boom, boom.
00:15:05.000 Boom, boom. I send them up.
00:15:06.000 What you have to understand is that this plane is actually powered.
00:15:09.000 You didn't see me do it earlier.
00:15:11.000 You can thank me later. By the whirlwind of my aikido, create a vortex.
00:15:16.000 Every time. That sucks the plane into the sky.
00:15:19.000 And, on top of that, eggs ain't real.
00:15:26.000 Marcel! But he don't need his glass, apparently.
00:15:30.000 He don't need his glass.
00:15:32.000 Sorry, I'm not an amateur.
00:15:33.000 Take over that, Joe. I do wish you could see my face.
00:15:36.000 It's pure pain from watching it.
00:15:38.000 I didn't even drink it yet.
00:15:40.000 No mixer, thank you very much.
00:15:42.000 I don't do cocktails.
00:15:44.000 I don't do cocktails.
00:15:46.000 Ha ha ha ha!
00:15:48.000 Yeah, but if people make some...
00:15:50.000 I'm going to take my mixer as well.
00:15:52.000 I'm responsible for the plane's life.
00:15:55.000 Hortems. Here we go.
00:15:57.000 Hortems. Have they got hot chocolate?
00:16:05.000 Hot chocolate? No.
00:16:08.000 Hot chocolate? Yeah, yeah.
00:16:10.000 No, no, no, no, no. Marcel, on this plane, there's already hot chocolate.
00:16:20.000 Where's your head? That was good.
00:16:23.000 You understand me? That was good.
00:16:24.000 You understand me? That was good. Already here.
00:16:26.000 Listen, I walk in the club.
00:16:28.000 I go up to a bitch.
00:16:29.000 I'm like...
00:16:31.000 What's up?
00:16:33.000 What's up?
00:16:35.000 Little pony, little pony I'm a little pony When I lay up on my back I go choo choo choo choo choo choo choo Yes sir, I'm human feet I'm a tiger, I'm a hamster I'm a tiger, I'm a hamster I go choo choo choo choo choo choo choo Where's he gone?
00:16:52.000 You haven't seen that one yet.
00:16:54.000 Can you do that move?
00:16:55.000 Can you do that move? Why do black people have rhythm?
00:17:02.000 It's hot chocolate.
00:17:05.000 What's up? Why are you pouring coffee?
00:17:09.000 I'm Brad Justice.
00:17:10.000 I'm waking up.
00:17:12.000 I'm Brad Justice for my next stiff drink.
00:17:14.000 That's a stiff drink. Marcel.
00:17:18.000 Kirsten said he can beat me.
00:17:22.000 Marcel. He's gonna beat me.
00:17:24.000 No, no, he said that.
00:17:25.000 Marcel, the altitude.
00:17:28.000 The altitude changes the game.
00:17:30.000 You're gonna lose. No, to the negative.
00:17:32.000 It makes each drink worse.
00:17:35.000 Better. I don't need salt and pepper on anything.
00:17:40.000 What does that mean? Nothing you do makes sense.
00:17:45.000 No, he's not.
00:17:47.000 He's back to the bar.
00:17:49.000 Fuck! Shit! That means he's drunk.
00:17:51.000 That means he's drunk. That means he's drunk.
00:17:55.000 He's drunk. He's drunk.
00:17:59.000 He's drunk. It's been non-stop drinking.
00:18:39.000 You don't even want to drink.
00:18:41.000 You don't want to drink.
00:18:43.000 Where's Marcel? Listen.
00:18:46.000 Marcel! Welcome to the real world, Luke.
00:18:53.000 The big school.
00:18:55.000 Screw Barsell.
00:18:59.000 So I'm going for lunch, and Andrew wanted to stay for lunch.
00:19:06.000 What did he just order us? We're just three gins on us.
00:19:10.000 What costs more, this suit, this tracksuit, or Luke's existence?
00:19:16.000 That is a very easy question to answer.
00:19:20.000 I'm not sure Luke's life is worth that tracksuit to me.
00:19:23.000 What I need to do is I need to get my bare hands and tear the fabric of space-time.
00:19:28.000 Okay. And then we can go through it.
00:19:32.000 And that will allow us to be in more places at once.
00:19:34.000 So we can simul-booze.
00:19:36.000 Luke, can you agree that the odds of him thinking he's pulled that off increase with every gin and tonic we drink?
00:19:42.000 I do. I agree. So we could be boozing in two places at once, which will combine into the ether of the atmosphere, and the cells in our bodies will double-detect the booze to make us stronger than we've ever been.
00:19:55.000 So I just need to find a handle in space-time.
00:19:58.000 There's air around it.
00:19:59.000 I can't really grab it. We need to go out into London.
00:20:02.000 Start drinking until I find it.
00:20:05.000 All the power ripped through.
00:20:09.000 Go find a handle in space-time.
00:20:10.000 That's what we need to do.
00:20:12.000 So that's the mission today.
00:20:13.000 I'm in. That's the mission.
00:20:18.000 Our life is just a massive whirlwind of dumb shit.
00:20:23.000 We came here for coffee. Tristan bought a Rolls Royce.
00:20:26.000 And now we're back here for coffee after driving around Spain in supercars to collect the same Rolls Royce.
00:20:31.000 Why? It doesn't make sense, does it?
00:20:33.000 Tristan, explain this to me.
00:20:35.000 We like coffee? I think there's a problem.
00:20:40.000 Due to the fact that I think what's happened is we've become super, super rich and we feel like the only thing that's left that stimulates us is spending huge sums of money.
00:20:50.000 We need to go to a psychiatrist and we need to work out why we cannot be happy just, you know, working a normal nine-to-five.
00:20:57.000 Okay, so I'll put you to the psychiatrist, but when you go to the psychiatrist, just hand me the bank cards in the meantime.
00:21:03.000 I'll hold the fort. Yep.
00:21:05.000 Who's the most expensive psychiatrist in the world?
00:21:08.000 I think we should get them. I can get the most expensive.
00:21:10.000 I think we should. Tell him to fuck himself.
00:21:12.000 Yeah. Book him for 12 hours a day, every single day.
00:21:15.000 I never try not. Call him a loser.
00:21:17.000 He is a loser. Frederick, he's a loser.
00:21:19.000 Good point. All right. This is good.
00:21:22.000 I think we're making progress.
00:21:23.000 All right. Next day, COVID-19 is going to have therapy.
00:21:25.000 Nice. What are you guys doing?
00:21:33.000 Oh, this. You never seen this before.