Tate Speech - July 03, 2024


What would Tate eat? | Tate Confidential Ep 238


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

125.10345

Word Count

1,814

Sentence Count

285

Misogynist Sentences

6

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

Tristan and Alex are on a mission to get their morning started off with a good cup of coffee and a good glass of water. Unfortunately, they don't have enough to last the morning, so they have to go to the bar to get some more caffeine and more water. Will they be able to finish it all in time or will they end up with a hangover from all the caffeine and water consumed? Find out if they can keep up with each other or if they're going to die from the amount of caffeine they consumed and how long it will take them to drink it all! Also, find out who's going to come out on top at the end of the episode and who is going to be left at the bottom of the list. Don't worry, it's not gonna be who you think it is! Enjoy, enjoy, and spread the word to your friends about this episode of Cocktails and Cigars! Cheers, EJ & Bailey. XOXO. - The EJ Crew. Copyright 2019 EJ and Bailey. All rights reserved. This episode was produced by Bailey and Alex. All Rights Reserved. No copyright infringement is intended to be property of their respective owners. All credit given to them and their respective agents, except where otherwise indicated. If you have any objections, please contact us directly. We do not own the rights to any of the music used in this episode. We are working with the artists mentioned in the episode. Thank you. Thank you for all the support you've shown us. We appreciate the support, support us, and all the work and support us in this podcast. We really appreciate it. We really do appreciate it greatly. We're working hard to make this podcast and we really well. We love you. We can't wait to make it as much of our efforts. We've got a lot of effort and we appreciate you, we really appreciate you. Please don't forget to send us some love and support. We'll get back to the rest in the next episode with your feedback. . - Thank you, Alex, too! - AJ & Alex - EJ. xoxo - Bailey - Alex - (Thank you, Ej & Alex, and Alex - I'm working hard on this episode and I hope you enjoy it! ( & Alex - thank you very much. )


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Alright, so you just got up.
00:00:10.000 We're all getting around.
00:00:12.000 I'm low-key terrified.
00:00:14.000 Because you said that today's the day.
00:00:20.000 Where's your coffee?
00:00:25.000 I'm on number one. We don't need cigars first thing in the morning.
00:00:54.000 No other way! Vitamin C! Everyone knows the importance of vitamin C. What does cigar begin with?
00:01:00.000 C. That's right.
00:01:01.000 Coffee, cigars. Now, unfortunately, two of my females are asleep and my waiter is not here yet.
00:01:07.000 He doesn't start for 45 minutes, so we're just gonna have some more water.
00:01:11.000 I've not even finished my two liters.
00:01:14.000 I know it's Pride Month, but you're gonna have to up your game, okay?
00:01:19.000 Come out of the closet, drink your water, have your latency.
00:01:24.000 It's good for you. You're going to feel great today.
00:01:27.000 You're never going to have felt this energized in your life.
00:01:29.000 It's going to be amazing.
00:01:30.000 After we have two or three coffees, we can have our fire blood.
00:01:35.000 Alex, we're going to die.
00:01:37.000 We're actually going to die.
00:01:39.000 I do this every day. I know you do.
00:01:40.000 This is how I eat every day.
00:01:42.000 It's not special. Everyone makes fun of me.
00:01:43.000 I eat every day. But when we fight, how come I win?
00:01:50.000 I have no rebuttal to that.
00:01:53.000 You've had two liters of water.
00:01:57.000 Now we're about to have...
00:01:58.000 How much is in these?
00:01:59.000 I don't even know. Six of these make two liters.
00:02:02.000 Three of these make a liter. 330 milliliters.
00:02:04.000 And you have 30 a day.
00:02:05.000 At least. You're going to overdose on water.
00:02:08.000 I'm not gay. I don't die from water.
00:02:11.000 Sorry.
00:02:12.000 And that's Pride Month, Bailey.
00:02:14.000 Can you stop being gay and smoke a cigar?
00:02:41.000 Come on, buddy.
00:02:43.000 Nice. Well done.
00:02:48.000 I'm going to throw up. You know what?
00:02:52.000 Nothing seems better to me right now than washing down my water with some fresh water.
00:02:57.000 Tell me about it. Now you're talking.
00:03:01.000 Let's go. I'll swallow your smoke.
00:03:04.000 Makes you strong. Alex, your turn.
00:03:07.000 Alex, that two liters is full.
00:03:10.000 Full, Alex. I'm going to drink two liters.
00:03:12.000 Alex! Alex, I just did it.
00:03:15.000 You do it. I will do it half and half.
00:03:19.000 Alex, there's no... No, you're going to drink it.
00:03:20.000 My mind's been done.
00:03:22.000 The first five minutes. Bam!
00:03:24.000 Okay, five minutes. There's no half measures.
00:03:26.000 Full measures are going to be...
00:03:27.000 Alex, f*** off.
00:03:29.000 I just did it in 30 seconds.
00:03:31.000 Oh my god.
00:03:33.000 I'm gonna do it.
00:03:35.000 I'm gonna do it.
00:03:57.000 of war.
00:03:59.000 I'm not going to lie.
00:04:01.000 Five meters more. I need five meters more.
00:04:04.000 Why? It's hard.
00:04:07.000 I'm not trained to drink like this water.
00:04:08.000 For me neither!
00:04:10.000 Alright, he's one can down, two liters down.
00:04:15.000 He's literally gonna need to film me, film everyone else.
00:04:20.000 Well, I trust the consumption chance.
00:04:22.000 Tristan can live my diet, no problem.
00:04:24.000 I know he can, but I'm documenting it.
00:04:26.000 I finished my water.
00:04:30.000 Whose water is still full? Alex.
00:04:34.000 I'm smoking. I'm not complaining.
00:04:37.000 Alex, that's how a hero does it.
00:04:42.000 Two liters down.
00:04:43.000 15 seconds.
00:04:45.000 Let's go, T. Let's go!
00:04:51.000 Alex, quit being a little bitch.
00:04:52.000 Drink your water. Alex, finish your water.
00:05:07.000 Keeping score.
00:05:09.000 And I... Now I have a can down, two liters down, one coffee down.
00:05:16.000 Let's do this. Alex has not finished his water.
00:05:19.000 No, Alex has not finished his water.
00:05:20.000 Bullion. Almost done. Tristan, I've got a tally system going.
00:05:28.000 What have you had today? These cigars are very, very good, so we have to finish all of it.
00:05:33.000 Yeah. What have I had today? I actually woke up at 6.30, so I actually had two coffees that made me.
00:05:38.000 We're ready for me. For two coffees.
00:05:41.000 And some water from, like, this much of a bottle.
00:05:45.000 But now you see why that's not a possible thing.
00:05:48.000 Tristan, you pounded two liters in a matter of seconds.
00:05:51.000 My man, that a boy, that a boy.
00:05:53.000 Also known to eat from plates and other plates.
00:05:56.000 Top of the morning to ya.
00:06:15.000 Top of the morning. Mmm!
00:06:21.000 That's all. Right.
00:06:26.000 Now it's time to start.
00:06:27.000 Caffeine with nicotine.
00:06:32.000 Equals protein. Coffee one, done.
00:06:37.000 Don't worry. Coffee's coming for everybody.
00:06:41.000 Can't warn them too Nice
00:06:49.000 Oh Oh
00:06:53.000 I'm falling down.
00:06:57.000 Oh my god. Thank you very much.
00:07:02.000 All coffees, yeah. Look.
00:07:04.000 That's fine. Just leave them like that.
00:07:05.000 Just leave the tray. I'm gonna wait 15 minutes till it's cold and neck it in one.
00:07:26.000 Alex, you are super behind.
00:07:29.000 What do you mean? You're one coffee behind.
00:07:31.000 You're one can of water behind. Ah, it's true.
00:07:34.000 It's true. But then it's not a problem.
00:07:38.000 The hardest part was to drink these two liters.
00:07:42.000 Not gonna lie, that was kind of hard.
00:07:44.000 My diet is designed to make me as irritable as possible.
00:07:48.000 Maximum stress.
00:07:51.000 So lots of caffeine, lots of nicotine, hunger, but hydrated.
00:07:55.000 But very irritable.
00:07:57.000 On edge. You know?
00:07:59.000 Because that's how you get things done.
00:08:01.000 It's how you fight the best. It's how you lift the most weights.
00:08:03.000 It's how you do the most work. Everyone's so busy going through life trying to find this peace and happiness bullshit.
00:08:08.000 If I eat a nice meal, have a nice breakfast, then I can sit and relax and enjoy the sunshine.
00:08:12.000 Like a fucking faggot.
00:08:14.000 No. I'm hungry.
00:08:16.000 I'm full of caffeine.
00:08:17.000 I'm full of nicotine. I've got problems to fix.
00:08:20.000 I'm smoking my cigar. I need more caffeine and more nicotine.
00:08:23.000 I need to be jittery. You know?
00:08:25.000 For the fast twitch.
00:08:28.000 Do you understand? I have engineered my diet to make me as pissed off as possible.
00:08:33.000 My testosterone level is off the charts.
00:08:37.000 I'm sure my blood's full of cortisol and it feels great.
00:08:41.000 Fire blood. My diet is the reason why my testosterone level on that stupid chart, which I don't even understand, between 7 and 29 for the normal range, is 34 or whatever it is.
00:08:52.000 Because of my diet. Of course it is.
00:08:54.000 Because my diet is designed to make me want to kill.
00:08:58.000 And I do want to kill him.
00:08:59.000 All of the time. That's how you get ahead, Bailey.
00:09:03.000 That's how you get ahead. You can't be bound by your morals.
00:09:07.000 You white people don't get this.
00:09:09.000 Us brown people understand.
00:09:10.000 You're all sitting around in morality.
00:09:13.000 Fuck that crap off.
00:09:15.000 You could fix your border crisis with a little bit of...
00:09:20.000 You could! It has nothing to do with diet.
00:09:22.000 You start talking about diet. What's this rant?
00:09:26.000 If the white man was on my diet, they'd fix their border crisis with bullets.
00:09:30.000 Two or three snipers, done.
00:09:33.000 Instead, you're sitting around going, we can't just shoot them.
00:09:35.000 Had a nice breakfast this morning.
00:09:37.000 Let's use the water cannons.
00:09:39.000 And then they sit and say, oh, you're all barbaric, you people.
00:09:42.000 We use water cannons.
00:09:43.000 We're nice, moral, good people who had our sunny-side-up eggs.
00:09:48.000 But we're invading you. We're going to take over.
00:09:50.000 You understand? The people who are coming to your border are hungry.
00:09:53.000 Pissed off. You're sitting around with full bellies.
00:09:56.000 Can't win. Not in the long run.
00:09:58.000 No, sir. So you keep fucking having your porridge oats, you little fag.
00:10:05.000 And my people are gonna stay hungry and stay motivated to conquer your shit.
00:10:09.000 You built the entire modern world, you white Europeans.
00:10:12.000 Gave it to us. Thanks!
00:10:18.000 Didn't build nothing. Thanks.
00:10:20.000 Turned up yet. Where's the welfare?
00:10:21.000 Where's the house? Good morning.
00:10:25.000 Morning. What's the play?
00:10:27.000 You have to catch up, bro. How far behind am I? This is just a normal day for me.
00:10:32.000 We're not being crazy. I'm not Tristan.
00:10:34.000 This is just my normal diet.
00:10:36.000 Your two cans or three cans of water.
00:10:38.000 Two liter bottle. I'll...
00:10:41.000 I'm the judge here. Okay.
00:10:43.000 So first of all, you need a two liter bottle of water.
00:10:44.000 You have to drink it as fast as possible.
00:10:46.000 Start your day. It's Andrew's diet day.
00:10:48.000 It's Andrew's diet day. So you need a two liter bottle of water.
00:10:50.000 You need cans of water. You need a cigar.
00:10:51.000 You need about two or three coffees. If you want to catch up, I have to catch up.
00:10:55.000 Right now. Two liters of water.
00:10:58.000 One can of water.
00:10:59.000 And one coffee.
00:11:01.000 And you have to start a cigar. So one coffee.
00:11:10.000 Nice. One can of what?
00:11:15.000 Water. Yeah, you gotta start with the two liters before you do anything before anything good man Coffee number three I'm not gonna lie my stomach kind of hurts It does.
00:11:45.000 I feel physically ill.
00:11:50.000 It's Andrew's cameraman. Yeah.
00:11:52.000 I don't know you. I don't know.
00:11:54.000 Who are you? Never heard of her.
00:11:56.000 Stranger. Like, all the way.
00:11:58.000 Bro, we all did it. What the fuck?
00:12:02.000 I did mine in about, what do you think, 12, 13 seconds?
00:12:05.000 15 seconds max. It takes me three or four minutes.
00:12:07.000 I don't do it quick. It's all a race, guys.
00:12:09.000 We're not in a race.
00:12:10.000 It's just my diet.
00:12:12.000 You don't have to race it, but you do have to do it.
00:12:15.000 Am I allowed to have additional things, like gonsters?
00:12:19.000 So I have to stick to your diet?
00:12:21.000 I can't do your diet and also have shots of tequila.
00:12:24.000 Just checking. Oh my god.
00:12:28.000 You did that in 10 seconds?
00:12:30.000 Yeah. Yes, I might. The fuck?
00:12:32.000 Scared of war. I'm ready for war!
00:12:38.000 American government's coming for me.
00:12:39.000 Come! Come!
00:12:41.000 Coffee, cigar? Come!
00:12:43.000 Puppy tail!
00:12:44.000 Give a fuck.
00:12:45.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:12:51.000 Never lost a game.
00:12:52.000 I feel like shit.
00:12:56.000 Bro, war is good for you.
00:12:58.000 No, no, you took pass. After you start the coffee and the smoke, it's good.
00:13:03.000 You know this is my second one, Marcel.
00:13:05.000 No, Marcel finished. Is it?
00:13:06.000 Is it? Let me see.
00:13:07.000 Yeah.
00:13:08.000 It's 50-50.
00:13:09.000 Ah, all right.
00:13:10.000 Not bad.
00:13:11.000 My redemption, kids.
00:13:35.000 Alright, so there's a gallon of water down.
00:13:37.000 Are you? Are you?
00:13:39.000 That doesn't make sense, what the fuck?
00:13:41.000 Life is made up of days.
00:13:50.000 One year, one month, one decade.
00:13:53.000 The biggest buildings were built one brick at a time.
00:13:55.000 You need to stop getting lost.
00:13:57.000 You need to hold yourself accountable every step of the way.
00:13:59.000 That's why, in the real world, we've created an in-platform feature exactly for this.
00:14:04.000 With the daily checklist, you now have the ability to conquer your tasks with automatic organization seamlessly integrated into your student dashboards.
00:14:12.000 You can create tasks, add descriptions, complete them, and increase your power level as a result.
00:14:17.000 Stop trying to remember what you need to do next.
00:14:19.000 Open up the Real World app, watch your checklist load right up in front of you, and get to work.
00:14:24.000 That is speed. That is how you build faster than everyone else.
00:14:27.000 Just one of the many systems built only inside of the real world.