The Anthony Cumia Show - Anthony Cumia and Jim Norton on the Unspoken Rules of Comedy Clubs ｜ 05-10-26

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00:01:00.160 Listen to how you New Yorkers

00:01:01.820 with me. Taxi. 0.99

00:01:04.040 Okay, we're going to...

00:01:05.240 This is the 77 WABC

00:01:08.380 minicast.

00:01:11.140 The Anthony

00:01:11.920 Comey Show. Yes.

00:01:14.740 It's Jim Norton

00:01:16.020 sitting in with us this

00:01:17.980 Sunday. Yes. Which is a quite

00:01:19.920 the treat, quite the pleasure.

00:01:22.200 Oh, good. Oh.

00:01:23.840 Had great dinner, Jimmy, sitting there laughing with Jim, having a nice dinner together at a fine restaurant.

00:01:32.480 And thank you.

00:01:33.360 You treated.

00:01:34.220 It was very nice.

00:01:35.060 Oh, it's all tax deductible.

00:01:37.240 I know.

00:01:37.640 We talked about that.

00:01:38.820 We said, yes, this is a big write-off.

00:01:40.560 I signed it as a write-off.

00:01:42.580 I don't even know.

00:01:43.840 I'm the worst with business expenses.

00:01:45.940 Do you know my contract for here actually says that I can be reimbursed or I am reimbursed for travel here, for the hotel, for food, for everything every month because I come up about once a month to do the show from the studio.

00:02:01.660 I may be put in two since the time I started. 0.99

00:02:06.380 Because I'm a lazy idiot, Jimmy. 1.00

00:02:08.840 I'm stupid. 1.00

00:02:10.280 I could just fill it out. 0.98

00:02:12.280 I'm like, well, how do you do it?

00:02:13.840 Where's the request form for reimbursement?

00:02:16.740 It's not hard.

00:02:17.720 Oh, it's terrible.

00:02:18.840 It's very easy.

00:02:19.500 That's what girls tell me all the time.

00:02:20.720 Yes, it's not hard and it's terrible.

00:02:27.660 Yeah, it's so easy to do.

00:02:29.200 Something like that I'm actually pretty good with.

00:02:31.020 Like getting, oh, the old Mike's doing the old stuff.

00:02:34.160 Talk about not being hard.

00:02:35.340 It's falling down.

00:02:36.400 Guys, if you could see that, you'd be laughing along with us.

00:02:40.820 But yeah, fill it out.

00:02:41.820 Yeah, I got to do that.

00:02:42.720 I gotta do that stuff

00:02:44.460 I'm terrible like business like that

00:02:46.740 that's why same thing with like compound media

00:02:48.980 I was just this is fun

00:02:50.800 and the money's coming in I'm like oh that's

00:02:53.000 great and then you know after

00:02:55.020 eight years or so it's like oh

00:02:57.140 maybe some adjustments have to be made

00:02:59.020 and I'm like nah I don't care let's just

00:03:01.120 let it ride why don't you tell your accountant

00:03:02.920 to go through your credit card statements and

00:03:04.600 have them do it

00:03:05.800 oh what are you Israel now

00:03:08.340 you're right

00:03:10.960 I would have my accountant do that.

00:03:12.240 Yeah, just pull all those for the last year.

00:03:15.600 See if they'll reimburse you for the year.

00:03:17.240 I'm going to do that.

00:03:18.080 I'm going to meet with my boss and be like, hey, could I turn in a year's worth of expense?

00:03:21.940 You think they won't like that?

00:03:23.340 Probably not, but I mean, you'll go, look, here's the thing why I'm lying. 1.00

00:03:26.480 I'm an idiot. 1.00

00:03:27.200 I'm an idiot. 1.00

00:03:27.800 If I'm presented as me being an idiot, which is why I was hired in the first place. 1.00

00:03:33.820 See, this is where you're stupid for saying it on the air, because you should have lied 1.00

00:03:36.840 and said, I thought my accountant was doing this the whole time. 1.00

00:03:39.160 Oh, I should have said that.

00:03:40.240 He's out, he's not, but now you can't because we're talking about it on the air.

00:03:42.980 I feel like I'm looking into a mirror.

00:03:44.580 Cut that part out.

00:03:46.000 Cut that part out so the boss don't hear it. 0.87

00:03:48.000 Hold on a second.

00:03:49.180 Tell the boss something.

00:03:50.400 I'm like a shock jock. 0.88

00:03:51.580 Yeah, screw the boss, right? 0.58

00:03:53.260 Yeah, we're giving away tickets.

00:03:55.360 We make the rules.

00:03:56.440 To the big show.

00:03:57.920 He's got tickets in his office.

00:03:59.560 Let's pick the lock and go in the office and take the tickets to give them away to our listeners.

00:04:05.940 We did that.

00:04:07.100 me and opie did that on uh waaf yeah let's get in there and oh it's a big thing and the listeners 0.99

00:04:16.500 were like yeah you guys are awesome it's like you're stupid it was a little less hacky then 0.91

00:04:22.100 than it is now i hope so because everything we did in today's standard of broadcasting 0.99

00:04:29.000 would be considered unbelievably hacky and terrible yeah it's uh those things those little

00:04:34.280 But I'm in a car sometimes or an Uber going somewhere, and I'll hear the guy listening, and he's listening to War of the Roses.

00:04:40.480 They're still doing the fake calls.

00:04:44.080 Yeah, every phone call.

00:04:46.100 I think legally you're not even allowed to do prank phone calls on the radio.

00:04:49.800 You have to tell them they're on the air.

00:04:51.340 It's very limited as far as states that would allow that.

00:04:55.320 But I think the vast majority, you have to go, hi, and you've got to do this off the air.

00:05:01.540 You can't even ask them if you can put them on the air.

00:05:07.560 On the air.

00:05:08.360 It has to be off the air.

00:05:09.640 Now, if you call in like our wonderful callers here, it's different.

00:05:15.120 So that's why you know all those old radio gags.

00:05:18.440 War of the Roses.

00:05:19.560 He sent the roses to his girlfriend instead of his wife.

00:05:22.980 We have his wife on the phone.

00:05:24.500 Oh, my God. 0.99

00:05:25.680 She's mad.

00:05:26.620 Why did you do that?

00:05:27.780 Oh, honey.

00:05:28.200 they think everyone's an academy award-winning actor no it's like me in an audition

00:05:34.600 the hands at least you don't have to know what to do with your hands in the radio it's not that

00:05:42.360 bad no i know but if you see the cameras on me they're always just kind of up here hanging

00:05:45.540 i every movie i watch you and sometimes things will pop up and and you're in it and i always

00:05:52.680 and just fixate it on your hands.

00:05:55.140 I'm like, what did he decide?

00:05:56.920 What was his decision as an actor

00:05:58.740 to do with his hands?

00:06:00.160 Or did it just kind of happen with the main character

00:06:02.760 where the hands

00:06:04.780 just did what they were supposed to do?

00:06:06.300 That's brilliance right there.

00:06:08.520 You ever watch really amazing actors

00:06:11.040 at one of those actor studio

00:06:12.940 type things?

00:06:13.880 Yeah, and they're talking to

00:06:16.140 a student in the audience about something,

00:06:18.760 a choice they made. I like that.

00:06:20.300 The choice I made. And it's just

00:06:22.680 brilliant and it looks great i saw an actor what the hell is it who's that english actor

00:06:28.780 steve coogan no Michael Caine Michael Caine and he was uh doing something showing how

00:06:36.460 eye contact and where the camera is and it was like oh my god how the hell does he even know

00:06:42.920 to do this and it looks you could tell what he meant you could see it he said if you want to

00:06:47.940 appear more ominous don't don't blink don't yeah don't he goes don't uh when you look someone in

00:06:54.100 the eye and raise your head don't do that he goes look at their eye first and then raise your head

00:06:59.460 yeah it was just a really interesting adjustment and pick one eye don't go back and forth between

00:07:04.980 the two eyes that's right one eye and don't blink and he did the example of both of those

00:07:09.420 and it was so it was stunning how amazing it was that's why i haven't been able to look ominous

00:07:15.240 because I always like to put my head

00:07:17.180 in a semicircle and I go

00:07:18.440 it's good, good, good radio

00:07:23.160 bits. You bulge your eyes out

00:07:25.140 real wide. Yeah. And then

00:07:26.980 it's good too if you go

00:07:28.160 evil.

00:07:32.540 I'm writing

00:07:33.180 a movie about a serial killer.

00:07:34.460 Oh, Jesus. No, you're not.

00:07:36.760 By the way, that will give away the

00:07:37.980 bad writing. There's nothing

00:07:40.500 that wrecks a show for me or a movie

00:07:42.080 more than when they have cops talking

00:07:44.380 And it's like, have you ever, the cops should always super, like the cop will walk in and

00:07:48.400 go, the killer would never do that.

00:07:50.560 Cops never say the killer.

00:07:53.940 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:07:56.040 Colin was so great at parodying that on the cop show that they did.

00:08:01.180 Because all the cops did talk like that.

00:08:04.060 Yeah.

00:08:04.420 That was such a great parody of cops.

00:08:08.660 You were so good in that too.

00:08:10.220 I did a couple of that.

00:08:11.040 But I found that Colin at times thought that my appearance was fodder for mockery.

00:08:16.560 Yes.

00:08:17.060 Like when I had to play an owl.

00:08:20.160 Like he said that my face represented toxic waste.

00:08:25.440 How is Mr. Quinn?

00:08:27.380 He died this morning.

00:08:28.420 Oh, that's tragic.

00:08:29.640 So good.

00:08:30.160 I didn't even see that.

00:08:31.540 No, he's doing great.

00:08:32.280 I saw Colin Friday night at the Comedy Cellar.

00:08:35.920 Oh, you did?

00:08:36.400 We were giving each other the business.

00:08:38.260 Yeah, you guys do give each other the business a lot.

00:08:40.260 From the stage, though.

00:08:41.480 From the stage?

00:08:42.520 I was saying things that he had called me.

00:08:44.980 I sometimes will tell people Colin because he's not a nice person.

00:08:47.640 Like an owl?

00:08:48.720 No, that he called me.

00:08:50.020 He said I look like a human cashew, which bothered me.

00:08:53.040 There's a couple of other uncanny.

00:08:54.020 Is that an insult?

00:08:55.360 Yes.

00:08:55.680 He mentioned this one.

00:08:56.820 Of course it is.

00:08:57.460 And then he went on after me, and he said I look like a garlic nut.

00:09:02.520 A human garlic nut. 1.00

00:09:04.240 That is a good one.

00:09:05.680 Yeah.

00:09:06.360 It was very fun.

00:09:07.240 So, yeah, I just saw Colin Freddie.

00:09:08.600 He's doing great.

00:09:09.420 Didn't he call Bob Kelly, Bob looks like a souvenir you pick up at the Beijing airport?

00:09:15.560 A last-minute gift in the Beijing airport.

00:09:18.800 And he also had a very funny line on Stern Roast. 0.96

00:09:22.080 They were, I guess, doing, he said to Bob Boy Gary, he said, you're either a very ugly man or a very handsome fish.

00:09:28.620 and of course uh i have been dubbed and to this day people still call me a back alley tunisian 0.74

00:09:39.880 knife fighter a perfect description kurt metzger he said looked like a bosnian war criminal

00:09:45.160 and he does he's very very uh good at that uh yeah i i do miss uh a lot of those guys i just

00:09:55.300 don't uh of course being in south carolina then when i got kind of banned from the comedy cellar

00:10:00.960 that was uh i forgot i'm terrible i forgot but i gotta go i was i totally forgot about that i

00:10:06.680 actually um i was told to go on hiatus from the cellar which is pretty much being banned but it

00:10:13.960 has this little glimmer of i can come back noam was like yeah because i think i had so many comics

00:10:21.080 in there that had problem with me and he doesn't like when the comics are uncomfortable there but

00:10:26.820 you know he didn't really take into consideration why i had problems with some of the comics

00:10:31.920 whatever it might have been i i i think the uh uh the bill burr and then uh or the club soda

00:10:39.980 kenny thing was i mean this i would say it doesn't help it doesn't help a situation it doesn't help

00:10:46.380 but I always enjoyed going there and sitting down for the chicken skewers and

00:10:50.660 rice with my friend,

00:10:51.660 Jimmy.

00:10:52.140 Yeah.

00:10:52.920 And,

00:10:53.320 uh,

00:10:53.840 yeah.

00:10:54.560 Did you see the,

00:10:55.540 uh,

00:10:56.000 the,

00:10:56.340 uh,

00:10:56.500 clip of the women, 1.00

00:10:57.840 the, 0.99

00:10:58.140 uh,

00:10:58.560 vegans that went in there and got kicked out.

00:11:01.860 No,

00:11:02.280 I don't think it was the cellar.

00:11:03.440 I think it was this other around the corner.

00:11:06.000 Mamoon's pussycat. 1.00

00:11:07.540 What is fat black pussycat? 1.00

00:11:08.780 I do my hour there every Wednesday. 1.00

00:11:10.040 Oh,

00:11:10.260 okay.

00:11:10.680 It's a,

00:11:11.060 uh,

00:11:11.240 a little lounge and they have,

00:11:13.160 do they have,

00:11:13.780 uh,

00:11:14.620 they don't have really a lot of food.

00:11:16.140 there little little wings and stuff it had nothing to do with food the comic was making a vegan joke 0.98

00:11:21.200 and he said vegans were losers baby and these girls started booing him like literally boo like 0.95

00:11:28.440 vaudeville just and he commented on it and and said a few things and uh they were kicked out 0.99

00:11:36.100 like the cellar and those clubs they don't put up with they throw you out immediately you get thrown

00:11:41.040 out it's not one of these clubs where oh what a great back and forth between the guy in the crowd

00:11:45.780 they will throw you out there's plenty of people that want that seat um so they they they got

00:11:53.140 kicked out and then they're recording themselves in front of the cellar going can't believe they

00:11:56.700 kicked us out we didn't do anything wait and then the comic put a video up of him doing the and and

00:12:03.400 you hear them boo and he goes this is the third time i've told you to be quiet shut up yeah they

00:12:08.960 never think they're doing anything wrong i was just laughing oh no you weren't no one gets thrown

00:12:14.280 If you don't get thrown out of a funeral for laughing, you're not going to get thrown out of a comedy club.

00:12:18.240 They think it's like a movie or a TV show where the heckler is quick-witted.

00:12:25.520 Yeah.

00:12:25.760 And it's a good repertoire or rapport between the comic and the heckler.

00:12:32.400 And everyone loves it.

00:12:34.060 No.

00:12:35.040 You're interrupting his show.

00:12:37.480 This is what he's doing.

00:12:39.060 And you're effing it up.

00:12:41.160 Here's the rule of thumb. 0.99

00:12:42.020 If you sneeze while I'm on, I hate your guts. 0.92

00:12:45.900 Do you know, I was doing, I was closing my show. 0.95

00:12:49.080 This happened to me a couple of times where I was closing the show.

00:12:52.280 One time a guy had a seizure.

00:12:53.760 I was at the stress factory in Connecticut.

00:12:56.680 And there's a Bridgeport, Connecticut room.

00:12:59.740 I'm literally in my closing bit and he falls on the floor and has a seizure.

00:13:04.780 So now I kind of have to just talk people through this as we wait for paramedics.

00:13:08.380 I have to pretend that I'm concerned and not annoyed that he messed up my last bit.

00:13:12.940 And that also happened to me when I was in San Diego.

00:13:16.880 I was doing the American comedy, whatever, and a guy fell on the floor drunk or whatever.

00:13:21.500 And he came back the next night, though.

00:13:22.940 Oh, Jesus.

00:13:23.540 I gave him tickets the next night.

00:13:25.580 Oh, they gave him tickets.

00:13:27.080 Because he might have been drunk or tired, but I have to pretend I'm concerned.

00:13:29.860 Are you okay?

00:13:30.660 I want to just go, couldn't you die quietly on the toilet in the bathroom? 0.91

00:13:34.420 What are you doing? 0.99

00:13:35.060 What are you doing?

00:13:35.680 I have a bit to finish.

00:13:37.360 I'm not going to be able to salvage this.

00:13:39.540 They don't get it.

00:13:40.560 Well, those people, I don't think it's by choice,

00:13:42.700 but they don't get it when they're interrupting the comedian.

00:13:46.900 The worst.

00:13:48.240 How self-centered do you have to be?

00:13:50.020 There's a room full of people that want to see a comic,

00:13:52.460 and you're injecting yourself into this like you're integral to the act.

00:13:57.520 There's no penalty for that, which I would feel is too harsh.

00:14:00.560 Like if there was a video of somebody heckling and a comic

00:14:03.840 like cutting his hand off with a hatchet.

00:14:06.380 I'd go, he won't heckle anymore. 0.99

00:14:07.700 Like the mob.

00:14:08.840 Kind of like the mob.

00:14:09.740 You know, like the mob.

00:14:10.820 If you do that, you know. 1.00

00:14:12.080 They cut your pinky off. 0.99

00:14:13.280 Just something to remind you,

00:14:14.320 like there's a heckler here.

00:14:15.500 Which hand do you put to your mouth

00:14:16.740 when you yell a heckle at the comic?

00:14:18.760 Put it on the table. 0.99

00:14:19.900 We're going to cut your thumb 1.00

00:14:20.880 and pointer finger off. 0.99

00:14:22.320 So now you just have three little fingers

00:14:23.800 and it's not the same yell.

00:14:26.060 You can't direct your sound anymore.

00:14:28.420 I would like to see that.

00:14:29.820 I would too.

00:14:30.360 All right, people.

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00:14:48.480 And when the final shortcut taken isn't exactly short,

00:14:53.260 our crew is here to give you a trip home that goes just as planned.

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00:15:30.560 You

The Anthony Cumia Show - May 15, 2026

Anthony Cumia and Jim Norton on the Unspoken Rules of Comedy Clubs ｜ 05-10-26

Episode Stats

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Transcript