The Ben Shapiro Show - August 28, 2026


Ben Has Thoughts About Lake America


Episode Stats


Length

8 minutes

Words per minute

188.88

Word count

1,511

Sentence count

122


Transcript

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00:00:00.000 The press has asked me before I've gotten wrong about politics.
00:00:02.000 I said at the time things would get less stupid.
00:00:05.000 Well, here we are living in an era where things are only getting more and more and more stupid every single day.
00:00:13.000 This week, President Trump renamed a lake on the New York Canada border, and then Democrats freaked out about it with poorly crafted memes on X.
00:00:22.000 So I was actually in favor of the Gulf of America renaming.
00:00:24.000 Come on.
00:00:25.000 America's great.
00:00:27.000 And again, if you look at the Gulf of Mexico, actually, the Gulf of America is more apt because America's on one side of it in Florida, and then America's on the other side of it in like Texas and Louisiana.
00:00:38.000 But Lake Ontario, renaming that Lake America, I don't know, man.
00:00:43.000 Just renaming things, I'm not sure this is going to do it.
00:00:46.000 I'm not sure this is the way.
00:00:48.000 And if we are going to rename things, why are we going small, like with Lake Ontario?
00:00:51.000 Why not just like rename Russia?
00:00:52.000 We can just win a war against them.
00:00:53.000 We'll just name them the 51st state.
00:00:56.000 So the president of the United States is very angry with the Canadians.
00:01:01.000 I don't know, man.
00:01:02.000 Whatever.
00:01:03.000 Again, you know what really helped is if the president had not declared gigantic tariffs coming on Canada and thus led to the accession of Mark Carney to the prime ministership.
00:01:12.000 It would have been much better for us if Pierre Poliev had been the prime minister of Canada rather than Mark Carney.
00:01:17.000 In any case, the president is in a big tariff fight with the Canadians.
00:01:21.000 And apparently, the way we're going to win that tariff fight is by randomly renaming things.
00:01:25.000 So he had already proposed renaming the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America, which I kind of liked because at least the Gulf of Mexico, I mean, America's on both sides of that Gulf.
00:01:34.000 So I'm fine with that.
00:01:37.000 Hell, I think we should stop renaming lakes and gulfs.
00:01:40.000 I think we should just rename the moon.
00:01:41.000 I mean, we found it.
00:01:43.000 Everyone knew it was there, but we were the ones who got there first.
00:01:45.000 Right of discovery.
00:01:46.000 We should call it the moon of America.
00:01:48.000 It belonged to us, the moon.
00:01:50.000 You just project a giant American flag on that sucker.
00:01:52.000 And we should name all of the various peaks after presidents and Elon Musk.
00:01:57.000 America.
00:01:58.000 But the president decided yesterday that in revenge for the Battle of Montreal, he was going to rename Lake Ontario, Lake America, with his pen.
00:02:10.000 And.
00:02:12.000 I mean, eh.
00:02:15.000 All right, here we go.
00:02:17.000 So, this is Lake Ontario in Canada and in the United States.
00:02:23.000 But we're going to make a little change.
00:02:25.000 We're going to call it something different than Lake Ontario.
00:02:27.000 We're going to call it Lake America.
00:02:29.000 And all it takes is a good pen and some intelligence.
00:02:34.000 So, Lake Ontario, that's gone.
00:02:37.000 Lake America.
00:02:47.000 So now we have a lake and now we have a gulf because we have the Gulf of America.
00:02:56.000 Now we have Lake America without the of.
00:02:59.000 Thank you very much, everybody.
00:03:01.000 Enjoy Lake America.
00:03:05.000 Who knew conquest would be this easy?
00:03:08.000 I'm kind of like, can we just do this?
00:03:10.000 Like, why did you just do that with Greenland?
00:03:12.000 Just cross out the name of it and just call it like America Land.
00:03:17.000 And then we should probably, just for the hell of it, I don't know, probably take like Fiji and we'll call it America Land Land.
00:03:27.000 And then we should probably, you know, just because it's kind of nice over there, just grab Costa Rica and we'll call it America, America Land Land.
00:03:35.000 Kind of, so Mark Carney, the Canadians having to pretend to take this seriously is kind of funny.
00:03:41.000 Like, I have to say that the Canadians getting very, very grumpy over this.
00:03:46.000 Guys, let's be real.
00:03:47.000 Your country, it exists at our sufferance.
00:03:49.000 Mark Carney, Put out a statement The name Lake Ontario comes from the Wendat word Ontario.
00:03:56.000 Oh, whatever, who cares?
00:03:57.000 Which appropriately means the lake is beautiful, the lake is big.
00:04:02.000 The name is more than 400 years old, predating both the Confederation of Canada and the Declaration of Independence of the United States of America.
00:04:02.000 Fair.
00:04:09.000 We know that America is changing their trading relationships, their foreign policies, their national monuments, their hydronyms.
00:04:14.000 Canadians also know that naming reality means calling it Lake Ontario, then, now, and always.
00:04:20.000 Honestly, I feel like President Trump would like it, he should have named it in English what it's called in Wendat.
00:04:28.000 That's how President Trump describes things.
00:04:31.000 What if he had just crossed out Lake Ontario and he had written, Lake is beautiful, Lake is big?
00:04:31.000 Right.
00:04:35.000 I would have been into it.
00:04:39.000 But to be fair, this is all stupid and a waste of time.
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00:05:46.000 Abdul El Sayed decided that he was going to rename Melania Trump, the first lady of the United States, Natalie Harp, because they've decided in the same way that they decided the Democrats during the 2024 campaign that they were just going to put out some nonsense about how JD Vance had copulated with the couch.
00:06:03.000 Now they're putting out statements that That the president is sleeping with Natalie Harp on the basis of zero information.
00:06:08.000 Abdul Al Sayed said, if we're just renaming everything else, when are we making this official?
00:06:12.000 Natalie Harp, First Lady of the United States.
00:06:14.000 And that was so good.
00:06:16.000 That joke was so good that J.B. Pritzker, slightly less fat than he used to be, did the same thing on the Trump Tower.
00:06:22.000 He crossed out Trump and wrote Natalie.
00:06:24.000 Trump Tower is renamed to Natalie Tower.
00:06:28.000 And honestly, you got to feel a little bit bad for Natalie Harp because she's kind of just standing there and she's catching strays.
00:06:34.000 MapQuest put out a statement saying that they were not changing the name.
00:06:37.000 Which means obviously we must declare war on MapQuest.
00:06:39.000 It's the only way.
00:06:41.000 MapQuest belongs to us now.
00:06:43.000 All your map are ours.
00:06:46.000 Government seizures of MapQuest.
00:06:50.000 Our politics is incredibly stupid.
00:06:52.000 Incredibly, incredibly stupid.
00:06:53.000 Like there are serious things happening on planet Earth, and our politics remains undeniably and unbelievably stupid.
00:06:59.000 As we run into $40 trillion in debt, as we run into a military that needs significant rebuilding, as we run into a nation, That can't seem to hold it together over issues as basic as whether boys are boys and girls are girls.
00:07:14.000 I don't know, man.
00:07:15.000 I feel like we have better things to do than this crap.
00:07:17.000 We could also theoretically just name things after, you know, random people in America.
00:07:21.000 It doesn't have to be named after America.
00:07:24.000 Like we could name, you know, like we could name Mars after Elon.
00:07:28.000 Just rename the entire planet after Elon because all your Mars belong to us.
00:07:32.000 Or, you know, you can name the Himalayas after like Sidney Sweeney or something.
00:07:38.000 Like there's all sorts of great things that we could do.
00:07:39.000 There's so many great Americans to name things after.
00:07:42.000 And I'm just, I think that would be a better.
00:07:44.000 Also, make people fight over that.
00:07:45.000 I would just love to see a war break out over the Sweeneys.
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