The Charlie Kirk Show - Charlie and Erika Kirk's Advice on Family, Marriage, and More

00:00:03.000 My name is Charlie Kirk.

00:00:05.000 I run the largest pro-American student organization in the country fighting for the future of our republic.

00:00:11.000 My call is to fight evil and to proclaim truth.

00:00:14.000 If the most important thing for you is just feeling good, you're going to end up miserable.

00:00:19.000 But if the most important thing is doing good, you'll end up purposeful.

00:00:24.000 College is a scam, everybody.

00:00:26.000 You got to stop sending your kids to college.

00:00:27.000 You should get married as young as possible and have as many kids as possible.

00:00:31.000 Go start a Turning Point USA college chapter.

00:00:33.000 Go start a Turning Point USA high school chapter.

00:00:35.000 Go find out how your church can get involved.

00:00:37.000 Sign up and become an activist.

00:00:39.000 I gave my life to the Lord in fifth grade.

00:00:41.000 Most important decision I ever made in my life.

00:00:43.000 And I encourage you to do the same.

00:00:45.000 Here I am.

00:00:46.000 Lord, use me.

00:00:48.000 Buckle up, everybody.

00:00:49.000 Here we go.

00:00:56.000 The Charlie Kirk Show is proudly sponsored by Preserve Gold, the leading gold and silver experts and the only precious metals company I recommend to my family, friends, and viewers.

00:01:09.000 Thank you, everybody.

00:01:10.000 How great is Erica, by the way?

00:01:15.000 That's not easy to do.

00:01:16.000 I'll tell you what.

00:01:18.000 It's amazing.

00:01:19.000 She's an incredible mom and working on Bible and 365 and Proclaim Streetwear.

00:01:25.000 And then she gives an amazing address like that.

00:01:28.000 And so many friends here.

00:01:30.000 You know, this is our 10th annual Young Women's Leadership Summit.

00:01:33.000 We've been doing this for 10 years.

00:01:36.000 Real women only, because there's only such thing as real women. 1.00

00:01:41.000 I want to say a special thank you to our friend here, Karen Duddleston from the Duddleston Foundation.

00:01:46.000 They've been so generously supporting us for years.

00:01:48.000 So thank you.

00:01:51.000 Without you, none of this would be possible.

00:01:53.000 And so we're just going to chat for a second here, and then we wanted to open it up for questions from you, which is the most fun.

00:02:00.000 But no political question.

00:02:01.000 I'll be here back.

00:02:02.000 I'll be back here tomorrow.

00:02:03.000 We do that if you want to talk about all that fun stuff.

00:02:06.000 Literally just want questions for both of us about relationships and raising kids and getting married and all that stuff that you might have questions about.

00:02:14.000 That's what we want to focus this Q ⁇ A on.

00:02:16.000 So Erica, great job again.

00:02:18.000 Thank you.

00:02:19.000 I love you.

00:02:19.000 I love you too, baby.

00:02:20.000 And so a lot of these young ladies have competing pressures right now. 1.00

00:02:26.000 Some might even have parents that are like, hey, you got to get a job.

00:02:30.000 You got to build your career.

00:02:32.000 You got to build money.

00:02:33.000 Marriage can come later.

00:02:34.000 Marriage can come later.

00:02:36.000 However, some ladies might be getting different advice from this conference or from even inside. 1.00

00:02:41.000 They say, boy, I might want to get married sooner rather than later.

00:02:44.000 How do they balance that in a godly and biblical way?

00:02:47.000 That's hard because usually those voices are coming from your parents.

00:02:52.000 I mean, they were for me.

00:02:53.000 And so it's hard because you're in that in-between of honoring your parents, but also knowing that there's a conviction in your heart to have a family.

00:03:03.000 If you want, you can literally write down what your career, what you want that to look like on a piece of paper.

00:03:12.000 Put it in an envelope.

00:03:14.000 Go pursue.

00:03:15.000 If you find the right guy, that's 90% of the problem is finding the right person first, then building your life.

00:03:22.000 And once you do find the right person and your family loves them, your parents are going to be way more understanding it into the fact of you having a family.

00:03:33.000 I think that's 90% of those.

00:03:35.000 So let me ask you, raise your hand if you had to choose between amazing career, amazing family.

00:03:39.000 You have to choose.

00:03:40.000 Who here would choose amazing career?

00:03:42.000 Raise your hand.

00:03:42.000 That's fine if you do.

00:03:43.000 Please.

00:03:44.000 Like seriously, please raise your hand.

00:03:46.000 There's a couple hands.

00:03:46.000 Amazing family.

00:03:48.000 Oh, the other hands got it.

00:03:49.000 Okay.

00:03:49.000 So for everyone that rose at the hand of amazing family, How many of you every single day, it's your purpose for being is finding a husband then?

00:03:59.000 Every hand should then go up.

00:04:02.000 But I thought you said you want an amazing family.

00:04:05.000 You have to prioritize and aim at what you want the most.

00:04:10.000 I might be the only speaker that says this in these next couple of days.

00:04:14.000 You just have to make sure that you find the right...

00:04:16.000 I know, but you have to prioritize it.

00:04:18.000 I know, but you can't be like a heat-seeking missile where you see a guy in the back room and you're like, hi.

00:04:27.000 Like, you can't, there's like some nuance.

00:04:30.000 I get what you're saying.

00:04:31.000 I understand his sentiment.

00:04:33.000 If you're not married by the age of 30, you only have a 50% chance of getting married.

00:04:38.000 And if you don't have kids by the age of 30, you have a 50% chance of not having kids.

00:04:42.000 You should know that.

00:04:43.000 And I'm not telling you anything that is that provocative.

00:04:46.000 It's just the data, right?

00:04:49.000 Having children are a gift from the Lord.

00:04:51.000 And unfortunately, our culture de-emphasizes it.

00:04:54.000 And again, you get what you aim at.

00:04:57.000 You get what you prioritize.

00:04:59.000 And so yeah, I just, it's interesting because every hand except a couple, and that's, I'm not even saying which answer is right or wrong.

00:05:07.000 It's just if that matters more for you, then everything you do on a daily basis should point towards that.

00:05:13.000 To add on to that, for the women who are getting married after 30, that's okay. 1.00

00:05:22.000 I'm trying to bridge the gap here because it is okay.

00:05:26.000 It's not ideal.

00:05:28.000 It's not probably the best statistical odd position for you, but it's, but God is good.

00:05:38.000 There's nothing wrong with it, right?

00:05:39.000 It's just, I find.

00:05:42.000 No, it's good.

00:05:43.000 This is good.

00:05:44.000 If you just want happy talk, then that's fine.

00:05:50.000 It's good.

00:05:50.000 God is good.

00:05:52.000 You'll find your human.

00:05:54.000 I found mine.

00:05:56.000 And he's amazing.

00:05:59.000 So how do you tell young ladies to navigate the pressures of hookup culture on a college campus where they feel pressured that if they don't get into, let's just say, sexual situations with a male counterpart, then they will not be able to find a boyfriend or a husband.

00:06:18.000 He's not meant to be with you.

00:06:20.000 Like, he needs to honor your purity.

00:06:23.000 Save it for your husband. 0.99

00:06:25.000 That's simple.

00:06:27.000 Save it for your husband. 0.99

00:06:31.000 Talk more about how they should go about doing that because the pressures are so enormous from free contraceptives to the podcasts they listen to.

00:06:40.000 How many of you feel as if it's very difficult to maintain your purity on a college campus?

00:06:44.000 Raise your hand.

00:06:45.000 Okay, actually, it's less than I thought.

00:06:46.000 So it's easy.

00:06:47.000 Good.

00:06:48.000 No, I guess it's fine.

00:06:51.000 How many people would you, what percentage of young ladies by the time they graduate college do you think still are virgins? 1.00

00:07:01.000 Less than 25%?

00:07:02.000 So it's not that easy.

00:07:05.000 Okay, that's interesting.

00:07:07.000 No, I just think, I'm just trying to process it because I don't think the church talks enough about purity.

00:07:15.000 I think it's incredibly important, and we should tell young men and young ladies to save themselves from marriage.

00:07:21.000 It's a beautiful thing.

00:07:22.000 Right.

00:07:23.000 No, I agree.

00:07:25.000 Because a lot of people will say, well, how do I know that I'm compatible with that person unless I test drive the car before I buy it?

00:07:34.000 That's not a real thing.

00:07:36.000 Don't listen to that lie.

00:07:38.000 Because when you make that covenant with the Lord on that altar, don't let that fire burn out from the altar.

00:07:45.000 That love is so special and so powerful.

00:07:51.000 You will have natural chemistry within that marriage.

00:07:55.000 It's not like you're marrying a robot.

00:07:58.000 Like you married your soulmate.

00:08:01.000 You married the person who God made for you.

00:08:05.000 You're going to be compatible.

00:08:08.000 You should know that.

00:08:09.000 So then the question that a lot of young ladies have, but how do you know? 0.99

00:08:13.000 How do you know this person is right?

00:08:16.000 And second question: if these young ladies have a liberal boyfriend, should they dump him? 1.00

00:08:26.000 100%.

00:08:29.000 How many of you have a liberal boyfriend?

00:08:31.000 You have a liberal boyfriend.

00:08:33.000 Don't boo her.

00:08:35.000 Pray for her.

00:08:37.000 I'm just going to tell you, you can't change them.

00:08:39.000 That's that right now.

00:08:40.000 You can't change.

00:08:40.000 No.

00:08:41.000 You're great.

00:08:45.000 But so how does a young lady know, and is it ever too early to get married? 0.98

00:08:54.000 If they're 22 and they feel as if they found the right guy, is that too early?

00:08:59.000 Well, if you're either way, whether you're young or whatever age you are, I think going through, I know it has a stigma, but premarital is amazing.

00:09:08.000 You get to learn so much about the person you're with, and I have seen it prevent marriages that should not be happening because they are so young and naive with things and they're so lustful because they haven't gone down the road of having, you know, they're saving themselves, so they're just like salivating.

00:09:27.000 Go to premarital. 0.69

00:09:29.000 You'll learn a lot.

00:09:30.000 When you know he's the one, here's an example.

00:09:33.000 When Charlie sat across from me and he said, I want to date you, you want to be with someone who has every intention to not mess with your heart.

00:09:41.000 You're going to know.

00:09:43.000 I know it sounds cliche, but you will know.

00:09:46.000 He's not going to treat you like an option.

00:09:49.000 What advice would you give to young ladies where they are much more motivated than their boyfriend?

00:09:57.000 How many of you have this problem?

00:09:58.000 Raise your hand.

00:09:59.000 Ooh, that's tough.

00:10:00.000 I think it's a big problem.

00:10:02.000 Now, I think that you should both be motivated, but if the woman is much more motivated than the man, would you agree that ends up causing structural issues?

00:10:12.000 Right, because that because the man then ends up leaving his pants on the ground and the woman has to put them on. 1.00

00:10:17.000 And so then she becomes the breadwinner because then the husband's just chill and is like, I'm fine with, you know, not going any further than the level that I'm at, while the woman is aspiring to be more and more and more. 0.99

00:10:30.000 So then you become uneven and unequally yoked in your relationship or marriage.

00:10:35.000 And that's just a recipe for marriage.

00:10:37.000 It becomes disordered.

00:10:39.000 And there wasn't a ton of hands, but there were enough where it's a noticeable issue.

00:10:46.000 And I find it from the young male perspective that there's a whole longer speech I could give about the problems with male masculinity.

00:10:56.000 How many of you think that the current dating pool of young men is not great?

00:11:02.000 Raise your hand.

00:11:03.000 Okay?

00:11:04.000 So, no, no, this is very important.

00:11:05.000 Every hand went up.

00:11:07.000 This is very important.

00:11:08.000 What if I told you if every hand of young men think that the dating pool of young women is not great?

00:11:14.000 So who's right?

00:11:16.000 Oh, you guys are right.

00:11:17.000 Okay.

00:11:21.000 Okay.

00:11:23.000 I encourage you all to have a little more humility about that.

00:11:28.000 What is one thing young women can do better to make themselves more appealing to men who say that the current dating pool of young women is lackluster? 0.57

00:11:43.000 Do I ask good questions?

00:11:45.000 Yes.

00:11:46.000 I do this for a little bit.

00:11:46.000 That's why he has such a good podcast and radio show, The Charlie Kirk Show.

00:11:50.000 Guys, liking these questions?

00:11:54.000 You know, this might be so simple, but people pick up on the way you speak.

00:12:00.000 I'm not talking about, you know, if you sound smart or whatever.

00:12:03.000 I'm saying they will pick up if you curse.

00:12:06.000 They will pick up if you're speaking life over someone. 0.60

00:12:08.000 Men hate when women are gossiping. 0.87

00:12:11.000 Literally, the fire behind your lips is so powerful.

00:12:16.000 And if you can find a way to harness your tongue in a way that's biblical and you dress appropriately, you don't have everything hanging out, you will attract a different type of guy.

00:12:30.000 Now, if you're going to the club or wherever you're going and you're trying to appease a guy that is, are you going to bring him to your mom?

00:12:42.000 Are you going to bring him to your grandparents?

00:12:44.000 Like, really, just be the type of woman, the godly woman that God needs you to be to attract the man that he made for you. 0.89

00:12:51.000 That's what you need to be.

00:12:57.000 This is Lane Schoenberger, Chief Investment Officer and founding partner of Y-Refi.

00:13:02.000 It has been an honor and a privilege to partner with Turning Point and for Charlie to endorse us.

00:13:08.000 His endorsement means the world to us, and we look forward to continuing our partnership with Turning Point for years to come.

00:13:14.000 Now, here Charlie, in his own words, tell you about YReFi.

00:13:18.000 I'm going to tell you guys about YReFi.com.

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00:13:22.000 WhyReFi is incredible.

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00:13:34.000 Go to YReFi.com.

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00:13:37.000 Do you have a co-borrower?

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00:13:44.000 It may not be available in all 50 states.

00:13:45.000 Go to whyRefi.com.

00:13:47.000 That is YREFY.com.

00:13:50.000 Let's face it, if you have distress or defaulted student loans, it can be overwhelming.

00:13:54.000 Because of private student loan debt, so many people feel stuck.

00:13:57.000 Go to yrefi.com.

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00:14:02.000 Private student loan debt relief, yrefi.com.

00:14:06.000 Young men have serious problems.

00:14:08.000 We're working on fixing that, right?

00:14:10.000 And it's easy to laugh, but you need young men. 0.96

00:14:12.000 You do.

00:14:14.000 And understand that young men are in a far sicker position right now than young ladies are. 0.94

00:14:19.000 They're committing suicide more.

00:14:20.000 They're checking out of society.

00:14:22.000 They are on more anti-they're on a lot of, there's a lot of issues.

00:14:25.000 And it's easy to kind of make fun of young men, but a society needs strong men, and we need husbands and we need fathers.

00:14:31.000 And everyone in this room should be part of that project of making men strong again.

00:14:36.000 Everyone.

00:14:38.000 And so let me first say what young men need to embrace.

00:14:43.000 How many of you would agree that self-control is an attractive quality that's hard to find in men?

00:14:48.000 Man, every hand goes up.

00:14:49.000 Great.

00:14:50.000 I totally, I say this to young men all the time: that a young lady cares more that if you can control your impulses and control your desires, because that is a signal of what?

00:15:01.000 Maturity.

00:15:03.000 Not of infancy.

00:15:04.000 Self-control is a signal of maturity.

00:15:06.000 And a young lady, whether she can articulate it or not, when she sees maturity in a man, she knows that when there's chaos, that man will be able to navigate the family, the relationship through that kind of environment.

00:15:20.000 Young ladies need to be willing to submit to a godly man when you meet one. 0.99

00:15:25.000 And if you're not willing to do that, then you got to pray about that.

00:15:29.000 Because a lot of young men in the dating pool say, I don't want to be bossed around all the time.

00:15:35.000 I'm just telling you what I hear from men all the time.

00:15:37.000 The hyper-toxic feminism is very, very off-putting to young men. 0.99

00:15:42.000 And I know this is contrary to what a lot of people here on college campuses.

00:15:46.000 You know, you have to assert your dominance.

00:15:48.000 You have to kind of call your shot.

00:15:50.000 That's fine.

00:15:50.000 However, an attitude in the dating pool is that it can be very off-putting to young men that are already put down so much in our society.

00:15:59.000 They're called toxically masculine.

00:16:01.000 They're called, you know, who needs men, the patriarchy.

00:16:04.000 And so then they just largely disengage.

00:16:07.000 Or they do even a worse thing, which is they get involved like, I'm just going to sleep with a bunch of women, but I'm not going to marry them, right? 0.98

00:16:13.000 The problem is on both sides, in my personal opinion.

00:16:16.000 And again, I think that Erica hit it perfectly.

00:16:20.000 Last thing I'll say, and then we'll do some questions, is men want what they cannot have. 0.82

00:16:25.000 Men will do anything to solve the problem of scarcity.

00:16:30.000 Anything.

00:16:32.000 And if men can get you quite easily, that is not an attractive quality to be able to have a man go on a journey with you.

00:16:41.000 I'm just being very, very honest with you.

00:16:43.000 And there is one thing that men want more than anything else, and it's not Bitcoin.

00:16:48.000 You know what it is.

00:16:50.000 And as women have not been saving themselves for marriage, and men too, in the last 30 or 40 years, we've seen marriage rates collapse.

00:16:59.000 There is a one-to-one correlation on those two things.

00:17:02.000 And so all that to say that young lady, everybody in this room, you have more power than I think you could ever imagine.

00:17:11.000 If everybody in this room collectively said that we are only going to save ourselves for our future husbands, men will grow up in a way that you would never imagine.

00:17:21.000 Like you can't believe.

00:17:22.000 Because all of a sudden they'd be like, well, because you understand hookup culture has given men everything they've always wanted.

00:17:27.000 They don't have to work for sex. 1.00

00:17:29.000 They don't have to grow up.

00:17:30.000 They don't have to do anything.

00:17:31.000 And then women will just throw themselves at them and they could stay as grown infants for the rest of their life. 1.00

00:17:37.000 And unfortunately, it does a lot of damage to young ladies. 1.00

00:17:39.000 A lot.

00:17:40.000 It does a lot of psychological damage and a lot of spiritual damage.

00:17:44.000 So if everyone here basically said, nope, we're going to combine our power and be pure and trust in Jesus and in God for our future husband, you would be shocked at how much the dating pool improves.

00:17:56.000 Okay, I want to tell you about one thing and then we'll do a question line.

00:18:01.000 We have a special, who would love to meet Erica Riley Gaines and get a picture with me?

00:18:05.000 I'm sure that would be a lot of fun, right?

00:18:08.000 All right, so we have a special giveaway.

00:18:10.000 If you guys follow the QR codes on our screen, subscribe to the podcast and then email at freedom at charliekirk.com.

00:18:18.000 We'll pick 10 winners, but you have to follow the QR code in the next couple minutes.

00:18:22.000 So follow that QR code, subscribe, and email us proof of subscription, freedom at charliekirk.com.

00:18:29.000 You know what's awesome?

00:18:30.000 Women are much better rule followers than men.

00:18:32.000 So I know that all of you are going to get that right.

00:18:35.000 No, it's true.

00:18:35.000 Men, if you guys, one of the most important things that I can leave you with before we go to questions, if you want to find your future soulmate, you must desire to humbly know male nature.

00:18:51.000 How many people here think you know male nature?

00:18:54.000 Anybody?

00:18:55.000 Only if you are married can you raise your hand.

00:18:59.000 Okay?

00:19:00.000 Male nature is easy to make fun of, but a lot deeper than you realize.

00:19:07.000 Raise your hand.

00:19:08.000 Do you think that men are better at, let me put it this way.

00:19:14.000 Raise your hand if you think that men are better at micro tasks than women.

00:19:20.000 Details.

00:19:21.000 Anybody?

00:19:22.000 Okay, a couple hands.

00:19:24.000 Raise your hand if you think that men are better at macro tasks than women.

00:19:28.000 Raise your hand.

00:19:29.000 Okay, you're right.

00:19:30.000 It's not even close.

00:19:30.000 Okay, macro.

00:19:33.000 If two people are talking on a college campus and I told you they were talking about sports, they were talking about the stock market or politics, is it more likely to be a man, two men or two women?

00:19:45.000 Two men.

00:19:46.000 If I tell you that two people on a college campus are talking about their relationships, the conversations they had earlier in the day, and what fellow classmates were wearing, is it two men or two women?

00:20:00.000 Micro versus macro.

00:20:03.000 You must understand that a man might forget to shower for three days because he's too worried that we're going to go to a nuclear war with Iran.

00:20:12.000 Men are obsessed with the macro, and they often forget the micro.

00:20:17.000 This is why corporations want to hire you so badly.

00:20:22.000 Understand this, because you are incredibly good at micro tasks.

00:20:27.000 That is why young women have been so well paid in the corporate environment, because when it comes to getting details done, women are much better than men.

00:20:33.000 No male nature, and you'll be at a much better chance to find your future husband. 0.96

00:20:36.000 Okay, we'll start right there.

00:20:38.000 Is that okay?

00:20:38.000 Hi, what's your name?

00:20:40.000 My name is Carissa.

00:20:41.000 Charlie and Erica, thank you for saying yes and being obedient to what God has for you.

00:20:46.000 And it's really shaped my life and everyone else here.

00:20:50.000 I would love to know your thoughts on Sabbath and how practically your family practices this and applies it.

00:21:00.000 I will let him talk.

00:21:02.000 But as the wife, I will say I have seen it transform.

00:21:08.000 I already, I love my husband, and he's amazing and an intentional father and husband.

00:21:12.000 But him honoring the Sabbath, I have seen it transform him in a way that is so powerful that when he turns his phone off and it goes in that drawer and he, and I know that it's, you know, he's all on for the family.

00:21:27.000 There is no distractions and he finally gets to reset his brain.

00:21:31.000 He finally gets to breathe.

00:21:33.000 And as a wife, there is nothing more precious than my husband's sanity when it comes to the echo chamber and everything that he's dealing with in his world.

00:21:43.000 So I have seen it change him and impact our family in one of the most beautiful ways.

00:21:48.000 But I want him to share.

00:21:49.000 And we're very serious Sabbath keepers.

00:21:53.000 This would be an exception because we're here with all of you, but we'll do it on Sunday.

00:21:57.000 We actually take the traditional Jewish Sabbath.

00:21:59.000 If you don't want to do that, I'm not here to debate you on it.

00:22:01.000 It's fine.

00:22:01.000 If you want to do it privately, I'll beat you, but that's a whole separate issue.

00:22:04.000 But it's fine.

00:22:06.000 It actually doesn't matter that much.

00:22:07.000 What does matter is I think that to our own detriment and to our own failure, we as Christians have decided to cast away resting on one of the seven days.

00:22:17.000 God rests that after creation.

00:22:19.000 That comes before the Hebrews. 0.98

00:22:21.000 It comes even before the creation of the modern world and civilization as we know it.

00:22:27.000 And so we honor the Sabbath.

00:22:28.000 We are very serious about it.

00:22:30.000 We get to spend more time with our family.

00:22:32.000 We do no news.

00:22:33.000 We do no work.

00:22:34.000 And it says very clearly in the scriptures, for six days you shall work and the seventh day you shall rest.

00:22:40.000 If you are feeling overrun by society, you might be feeling depressed or anxious, here's just one way that you might be able to improve.

00:22:48.000 Turn your phone off for one day.

00:22:50.000 No contact, no social media, no work.

00:22:53.000 Your mental health will improve dramatically.

00:22:56.000 You can hang out with friends.

00:22:57.000 You can go for a walk, but don't work for one day.

00:23:00.000 That is a day for worship.

00:23:01.000 That is a day for the Lord.

00:23:03.000 That is a day to go be with God.

00:23:04.000 That is a day to read your Bible and be out of the busyness and the hurriedness and just the anger and the noise of this world.

00:23:15.000 Go back to God's natural rhythm, and it's made our family much tighter-knit.

00:23:20.000 And I could be traveling for five or six days, but if I at least get one good Sabbath, my family, it charges all back up.

00:23:26.000 So God bless you.

00:23:27.000 Thank you so much.

00:23:28.000 And Shabbat Shalom tonight.

00:23:34.000 Hi, Charlie and Erica.

00:23:36.000 My name's Savannah.

00:23:37.000 This is Lila Esther, and we have another one on the way in January.

00:23:43.000 So I did find my godly man and we are making more babies.

00:23:48.000 My question for you is, we want to have a lot of kids.

00:23:51.000 And I'm wondering what your best advice is for young couples with small children on how to prioritize and nurture their marriage amidst the busy day-to-day life of kids.

00:24:02.000 That's a very good question because your marriage came first. 0.58

00:24:06.000 And your husband is very important because your kids, you're raising them to fly.

00:24:10.000 You're raising them to leave the nest.

00:24:12.000 They'll always come back.

00:24:13.000 And once they do, I think that's why people get empty nest syndrome because they look at their husband in an empty living room and they're like, who are you?

00:24:21.000 I have to relearn you.

00:24:22.000 You want to grow with your husband.

00:24:24.000 That is going to be very acrobatic at times, even if that means locking yourself in a closet with your husband for just an hour to say, can I breathe with you?

00:24:34.000 Can I just, five minutes, can I just have a second to look at you?

00:24:38.000 Something that Charlie does that's really sweet that I love is that sometimes, especially when he's traveling, we don't obviously, we figure out the dynamic of at least having a date night at least once a month, at least.

00:24:51.000 But there will be moments where he's literally about to rush out the door and I won't see him for several days.

00:24:56.000 Kids are wreaking havoc in the kitchen, pulling things out all over, and he just grabs me and he's like, one minute.

00:25:01.000 And we just literally stare at each other for a minute and say like, I love you, whatever you need to say, but you just, we have that one minute together to reset our hearts.

00:25:09.000 And honestly, that is something that we, that helps recharge the bucket until you get that date night.

00:25:16.000 So just being really intentional about little moments that will build into a greater, greater good for the relationship.

00:25:22.000 But I know you.

00:25:23.000 I agree with all that.

00:25:24.000 Just prioritize, obviously, your marriage actually comes before your kids.

00:25:27.000 I know that's a provocative thing to say, but it's true. 0.98

00:25:31.000 Your relationship with your kids is important, but it's not covenantal.

00:25:36.000 Right.

00:25:38.000 Your marriage is a covenant.

00:25:40.000 Your relationship with your kids is an outgrowth of a covenant.

00:25:42.000 They're under your stewardship.

00:25:45.000 But covenantal relationships are ones that we saw with Abraham and David and Israel and of course Jesus.

00:25:52.000 That idea of marriage being a covenant is a big, big deal.

00:25:56.000 In fact, only marriage in the Bible is compared to Christ's relationship with the church.

00:26:03.000 So always prioritize your marriage.

00:26:05.000 Thank you.

00:26:09.000 Good conversation is about showing respect.

00:26:12.000 It's how we create a space where people are able to share their ideas and to be heard.

00:26:17.000 Charlie knew that.

00:26:19.000 TikTok has always strived to build that kind of place that thrives on respectful connection, where curiosity fuels connection and we can share what's on our minds and learn from each other.

00:26:29.000 When ideas meet respect, good things happen.

00:26:31.000 On TikTok, you can find a mechanic explaining the why behind a problem most of us wouldn't even know how to name, or a father sharing a lifetime of knowledge with his viewers.

00:26:41.000 Viewers who listen, discuss, and respond.

00:26:44.000 TikTok turns connection into community through small acts of understanding.

00:26:48.000 You can feel it in the comments, in the thank you from a stranger halfway across the world.

00:26:53.000 TikTok is a place where respect opens the door for discussion, and discussion helps us build something real.

00:26:59.000 Portions of our program are sponsored in part by TikTok.

00:27:04.000 Hi, my name is Lindsay Cameron.

00:27:06.000 I'm 18 years old and I was homeschooled and I just graduated high school.

00:27:10.000 And with graduating high school comes the question of, so what are you going to do?

00:27:17.000 And to be honest, with my career, like, I want to be a mom and I want to have kids and I want to homeschool them and I want to stay at home with them.

00:27:24.000 And that's just not a really acceptable answer.

00:27:26.000 And I'm struggling to really know what I want to do in the meantime while I'm waiting to get married and have kids because I'm not dating and I don't see anybody that I really want to date.

00:27:37.000 So I'm just, I mean, I know I have a lot of friends who are in this same position too, of being in this weird waiting period where I don't want to go to college and I don't want to commit to a career that I know that I'm going to abandon once I have kids.

00:27:49.000 So I was just wondering if y'all had any advice for that and if you had any advice with dealing with criticism because I'm having some from extended family.

00:27:58.000 What I know we talk about don't follow your, don't follow your heart and all that.

00:28:03.000 Don't follow your heart.

00:28:04.000 It's a bad idea.

00:28:05.000 Do not do that.

00:28:06.000 You laugh, but the Bible is very clear.

00:28:08.000 The heart is wicked.

00:28:09.000 Yeah.

00:28:09.000 Do not follow your heart.

00:28:11.000 But your talents, right?

00:28:13.000 Yes, that's correct.

00:28:13.000 Yeah.

00:28:14.000 I mean, so look, what are you good at?

00:28:15.000 What are you talented at?

00:28:17.000 I love people.

00:28:18.000 I love talking to people all the time.

00:28:21.000 And honestly, Turning Point USA, like Alex Clark has really shaped my life.

00:28:24.000 I got really into culture apothecary and it's kind of changed my life.

00:28:28.000 And I mean, I would love to get involved in health and wellness, but I feel like there's not a really clear path for a career in that.

00:28:34.000 I feel like most people just kind of happen to fall into it because of life circumstances.

00:28:38.000 And I don't really know where to start for that.

00:28:40.000 You'd be surprised.

00:28:41.000 I mean, like, so I could give you a million ideas, but the first thing is you're already thinking about this correctly, which is your aim, you got your aim, right?

00:28:48.000 Which is important.

00:28:49.000 And by the way, if your aim is career, I'm not saying that's bad.

00:28:52.000 At least you are clear.

00:28:54.000 Don't confuse yourself of your aim.

00:28:56.000 We are aiming creatures.

00:28:58.000 We need something to point at.

00:29:00.000 I mean, look, there's a million things you could do.

00:29:01.000 You could work at a mobile IV clinic, right, as an administrator.

00:29:05.000 Like, there's a lot of stuff you could do in that kind of Maha space.

00:29:08.000 I would imagine, are you from Texas, I'm guessing?

00:29:10.000 Yeah.

00:29:10.000 Yeah, I'm from here.

00:29:11.000 Okay, yeah, great.

00:29:12.000 And Dallas actually has a huge infrastructure of like new Maha small businesses.

00:29:17.000 You could work at those kind of around that kind of genre and that outreach.

00:29:22.000 I will say, though, that don't, if you find your future husband and he is godly and it passes premarital counseling, which Erica's exactly right, do not appease extended family.

00:29:33.000 You only really have one thing to worry about, which is the fear of the Lord, right?

00:29:37.000 Now, let me just, can we riff on premarital counseling for a second?

00:29:41.000 It's very, very important, and it shouldn't get a bad taboo.

00:29:46.000 If you are, anybody currently engaged right now, I'm sure there's some.

00:29:49.000 Okay, awesome.

00:29:49.000 Praise the Lord.

00:29:50.000 It's amazing.

00:29:51.000 Aren't you from Canada or something?

00:29:53.000 Yeah, I remember you.

00:29:54.000 You found a husband?

00:29:56.000 We'll talk in a second.

00:29:57.000 We'll talk in a second.

00:29:59.000 I remember you.

00:30:00.000 That's great.

00:30:03.000 I hope you did not find your partner here at YWS.

00:30:06.000 I hope you, I'm kidding.

00:30:07.000 So, no, I'm kidding.

00:30:08.000 I'm kidding.

00:30:09.000 I'm kidding.

00:30:10.000 So, at SAS, right?

00:30:12.000 So, premarital counseling.

00:30:15.000 Who's going to control the finances?

00:30:18.000 Who's going to wake up in the middle of the night if the kid has an issue?

00:30:20.000 Are you going to have kids?

00:30:21.000 How many kids?

00:30:22.000 Are you going to raise the kids Protestant or Catholic?

00:30:24.000 Are you going to read the Bible?

00:30:26.000 Here's a good question in premarital counseling that most won't ask.

00:30:30.000 And this will save you a lot of problems.

00:30:33.000 Are you an open or closed house?

00:30:37.000 Who here grew up in an open house where all the kids would come by in the neighborhood?

00:30:41.000 You know what I'm talking about, right?

00:30:43.000 How many of you was raised in a closed house where your parents...

00:30:46.000 Okay, that's important, though.

00:30:48.000 Has anyone ever told you when you look in a spouse to ask that question, were you raised in an open or closed house?

00:30:54.000 It's incredibly important.

00:30:56.000 Because all of a sudden, if you marry an open house person, this was not an issue for us, thankfully, at all.

00:31:03.000 But I've seen it destroy marriages, and they've recovered, some not.

00:31:06.000 An open house person marries a closed-house person, they get married, they're inviting all their friends over all the time.

00:31:12.000 Barbecue, open up, and the closed house person is like, this is crazy.

00:31:16.000 I wasn't raised like this.

00:31:18.000 And none of that gets filtered in the engagement.

00:31:21.000 That's one of like a hundred questions.

00:31:24.000 That would be a good book we could write.

00:31:26.000 A hundred questions you should ask before you get married, right?

00:31:29.000 That would be a good book.

00:31:33.000 Go ahead.

00:31:33.000 No, no, no.

00:31:34.000 I was just saying the home is sacred.

00:31:36.000 I could go on, but that's like, you just have to, what premarital counseling should do, which it does a bad job of in most churches, is you must really know the nature of your spouse.

00:31:46.000 Introvert, extrovert.

00:31:48.000 What is their love language?

00:31:50.000 Do they need time alone?

00:31:52.000 Do they get filled up when you spend time with them?

00:31:54.000 Or when they come home and they're beat down, do they need time alone?

00:31:57.000 Here's a good one that almost no pastor will ever tell you.

00:32:00.000 What is a vice that your spouse struggles with? 0.97

00:32:03.000 And what is an acceptable vice and an unacceptable vice?

00:32:08.000 So for example, an acceptable vice might be that you'll allow alcohol.

00:32:11.000 We don't drink, right?

00:32:12.000 So for us, I'm not saying you have to do that, but for us, that's what works.

00:32:15.000 So it's not even a question.

00:32:17.000 Some men like cigars.

00:32:18.000 I think they smell like dead raccoons, but that's fine.

00:32:23.000 Are you willing to smell a cigar?

00:32:25.000 Have you ever smelled a cigar?

00:32:26.000 Will your house be able to withstand cigar smoke inside?

00:32:30.000 You're laughing.

00:32:31.000 This is the stuff that breaks apart marriages. 1.00

00:32:34.000 This is the stuff that creates isolation, and it must be flushed out in the engagement period, not in the honeymoon period or two years in.

00:32:42.000 And so other vices, which is like, you know, we're not going to watch R-rated movies or we're not going to swear.

00:32:49.000 You'd be amazed at how many marriages all of a sudden, you know, the husband's just dropping F-bombs. 1.00

00:32:54.000 She's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:32:55.000 Like, we don't do that around here.

00:32:57.000 You see, who's going to cook, right?

00:33:00.000 What does it mean to take time off?

00:33:01.000 Here's another one.

00:33:02.000 What type of vacations are you guys going to take?

00:33:05.000 This is very important.

00:33:08.000 Right?

00:33:09.000 What?

00:33:10.000 I should write the book.

00:33:11.000 Yeah, right.

00:33:12.000 No, but think about it.

00:33:14.000 Because Erica grew up in a camping family, right?

00:33:17.000 Yes.

00:33:18.000 How many of you guys are camping families?

00:33:19.000 Yes?

00:33:20.000 Yeah.

00:33:20.000 How many of you guys think camping is like for Neanderthals?

00:33:23.000 Raise your hand.

00:33:25.000 I'm the Eagle Scout.

00:33:27.000 If it's a necessity for survival, I'll go camping, okay?

00:33:30.000 His camping's like the four seasons.

00:33:32.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:33:33.000 Okay?

00:33:34.000 No, I have no shame in that, okay?

00:33:37.000 I have a busy life.

00:33:38.000 I get like three days off a year.

00:33:41.000 I'm not going to like hang my food by a tree for the three days off I have a year, okay?

00:33:49.000 That dog's not going to hunt. 0.73

00:33:51.000 For other families, they think it's like invigorating and exhilarating, right?

00:33:55.000 To like run from the wolves at night or something.

00:33:57.000 I don't know.

00:34:00.000 Or like, hey, we're going to go do a road trip.

00:34:02.000 Road trip, really?

00:34:04.000 In an RV?

00:34:05.000 Oh.

00:34:06.000 Sounds interesting.

00:34:09.000 That's like Charlie's worst nightmare to be stuck in a moving vehicle for multiple hours.

00:34:14.000 I had to go into a trailer that's an RV and they said, isn't this nice?

00:34:18.000 I said, yeah, I would rather go to Alcatraz than stuck in this thing.

00:34:24.000 We went on a cruise once, and that was the last time we'd ever go on a cruise.

00:34:27.000 Oh, it's terrible.

00:34:29.000 Which, I mean, I agree.

00:34:30.000 This is important because you might think you know your spouse and all of a sudden you book like a seven-day cruise in the Caribbean and it's non-refundable.

00:34:39.000 And he has the head.

00:34:40.000 I didn't do this, by the way.

00:34:40.000 I just tried, but Charlie had the headband.

00:34:43.000 I had everyone.

00:34:45.000 I had the drama mean drops.

00:34:48.000 I get totally seasick.

00:34:49.000 It's terrible.

00:34:50.000 You have to know the nature, right?

00:34:52.000 Yeah.

00:34:53.000 And unfortunately, we can kind of, we say we want to get married early, but that does not mean you should get married in a rushed way.

00:35:01.000 Right.

00:35:02.000 So two different things.

00:35:03.000 Early and rushing are not synonyms.

00:35:06.000 Thank you.

00:35:06.000 I hope that was somewhat helpful that we took a lot of detours there.

00:35:11.000 Oh, do you want to hold it?

00:35:12.000 Okay.

00:35:13.000 Hey, so you're getting married.

00:35:14.000 Yes.

00:35:16.000 Amazing.

00:35:19.000 So speaking of which, I have a wedding planning question.

00:35:24.000 I know that this sounds a bit weird.

00:35:26.000 So essentially, I am facing visa delays.

00:35:32.000 How do I deal with the disappointment and the feeling of sadness of having to plan for a peak winter wedding in the state of Wisconsin?

00:35:45.000 Wait, so okay, is it a visa question or is it?

00:35:49.000 It's so basically because of the visa delays, which is beyond anyone's, beyond pretty much anyone's control, how do I plan for, okay.

00:36:01.000 I am going to have a wedding in the peak winter when there's snow outside, when it's really, really cold, like, and I'm feeling disappointed and sad about it.

00:36:11.000 You shouldn't.

00:36:12.000 The winter is actually really beautiful.

00:36:14.000 There's something really, I know it's cold.

00:36:17.000 You can figure out the outfit.

00:36:19.000 You can wear a really beautiful shawl over yourself.

00:36:22.000 There's way more options for winter attire than the typical, think of it this way, your wedding's going to be amazing because you're not having to have the florals and the things.

00:36:34.000 You'll save a bunch of money.

00:36:35.000 You'll save a ton of money.

00:36:36.000 Wisconsin and the winter.

00:36:38.000 It's amazing.

00:36:39.000 Yes, you'll get a killer deal.

00:36:41.000 But there's something special about the winter season.

00:36:44.000 There really is.

00:36:45.000 And because what comes after winter, spring, metaphorically, you are springing into a new season of life.

00:36:52.000 You are springing into a beautiful marriage.

00:36:55.000 Embrace the snow.

00:36:57.000 Embrace the beauty of it.

00:36:58.000 It might not be ideally what you want.

00:37:01.000 And that's okay because God's challenging you to release that.

00:37:05.000 The wedding day is a wedding day.

00:37:06.000 It's really not for you.

00:37:09.000 It's for your family.

00:37:11.000 It's important on the altar.

00:37:12.000 That is for you.

00:37:13.000 But I'm talking about the party.

00:37:14.000 It's really not for you.

00:37:16.000 It's to entertain everyone else.

00:37:18.000 So just hold true to the fact that what matters the most, regardless of the season, is the man and the woman standing at the altar and that covenant you're making.

00:37:27.000 It could be raining.

00:37:28.000 It could be snowing.

00:37:29.000 It could be 100 and some degrees like our wedding.

00:37:32.000 That didn't stop us.

00:37:34.000 What's so important is that marriage and that, because when you guys get married, that's your family.

00:37:41.000 Your husband's your family.

00:37:42.000 Everyone else is relatives.

00:37:44.000 That's your husband.

00:37:45.000 Congratulations.

00:37:46.000 And I want to use you as an example.

00:37:48.000 What's your name again?

00:37:49.000 Vicky.

00:37:50.000 And that was last year when you gave the question, two years ago?

00:37:52.000 Yeah, so that was in 2024.

00:37:54.000 So that was last year.

00:37:56.000 So Vicki came up last year and said, how do I meet a husband?

00:37:59.000 And she made it her priority.

00:38:00.000 And a year later, she's engaged.

00:38:02.000 How often?

00:38:04.000 Thank you very much.

00:38:06.000 Thank you.

00:38:07.000 Next question.

00:38:08.000 Yes.

00:38:08.000 Hi, Erica and Charlie.

00:38:10.000 I'm Melissa.

00:38:11.000 And my question is, I'm 20 and I'm single and I want to get married young.

00:38:14.000 However, almost every woman in my life is telling me that I'm not missing out on anything.

00:38:19.000 Do you have any response to that?

00:38:20.000 The women that are married? 1.00

00:38:22.000 Yes.

00:38:23.000 Oh, that's so sad.

00:38:24.000 That's so sad.

00:38:26.000 That's really sad.

00:38:29.000 I mean, as far as, like, having kids or the relationship or...

00:38:32.000 Just, like, getting married young.

00:38:34.000 Because when I tell people, like my parents are really supportive about it, but when I tell other people like in church, like outside of church, I want to get married young, they look down on me like, why?

00:38:44.000 They tell me to go to college and get a career.

00:38:48.000 So like, what is a good response to that?

00:38:50.000 And like, what should I be doing?

00:38:52.000 Because I don't feel like I'm missing out, but I'm not sure what I should be doing.

00:38:56.000 What church do you go to?

00:38:59.000 I must have missed it in Matthew, which is go forth and become a CEO of a shoe company.

00:39:06.000 Be fruitful and multiply.

00:39:08.000 I mean, first of all, you are hitting a very fundamental and precious point.

00:39:12.000 I've said for a long time, we as Christians have done a crappy job of glorifying and celebrating marriage.

00:39:20.000 In fact, when we first got married, I heard almost more negatives than positives.

00:39:24.000 Like, oh, you're going to have your handcuffs.

00:39:26.000 Or, oh, marriage is the most awesome thing ever, everybody.

00:39:29.000 It's amazing.

00:39:31.000 And I think it's because they didn't have good examples to look towards themselves.

00:39:39.000 So they either settled or they're not happy because either something in their life they didn't settle and get fixed prior to getting married.

00:39:46.000 They're unequally yoked.

00:39:48.000 It's sad, but honestly, I feel like, like I talked about, that's a form of spiritual warfare.

00:39:55.000 Like the enemies will use anybody to keep you from where God needs you to be.

00:40:01.000 So smile and wave.

00:40:03.000 Just be like, I'm so sorry that happened to you.

00:40:05.000 It's not going to happen to me.

00:40:06.000 And you just, you say, I'll be praying for you.

00:40:09.000 I mean, marriage is beautiful.

00:40:11.000 Don't let that deter you.

00:40:13.000 It's another thing too.

00:40:14.000 Like, motherhood's the same thing.

00:40:16.000 There are so many Christian moms who will get on social media and they'll say, I'm so tired.

00:40:21.000 I need wine.

00:40:23.000 My child's driving me nuts.

00:40:25.000 Like, no.

00:40:28.000 No.

00:40:29.000 Motherhood is beautiful.

00:40:30.000 It's exhausting, but it's beautiful.

00:40:33.000 And it's not going to be those sleepless nights.

00:40:38.000 Yeah, one day your kid's probably not going to come home until midnight, so the sleepless nights get like a little bit construed, but you will sleep again.

00:40:45.000 You will have, you know, your time again.

00:40:48.000 But I feel so bad for the women not being able to have people to look towards for marriage and motherhood because they just are complaining about it mostly, which is sad. 0.94

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00:42:17.000 Really, I have to do this before I forget.

00:42:19.000 Who here knows nobody in the room?

00:42:21.000 Raise your hand.

00:42:21.000 Anybody?

00:42:22.000 Oh, that's cool.

00:42:23.000 All right.

00:42:24.000 For those of you that know, keep your hands up.

00:42:27.000 Keep your hands up.

00:42:28.000 I like that.

00:42:28.000 Everybody around the people raising your hands, now you have to introduce yourself and then we fix that problem.

00:42:34.000 No, seriously, go do that right now and say where you're from.

00:42:39.000 That's sweet.

00:42:41.000 That's sweet.

00:42:43.000 And now you have friends.

00:42:45.000 You're welcome.

00:42:46.000 You're welcome.

00:42:47.000 That's what the Young Women's Leadership Summit is all about.

00:42:49.000 How great is that?

00:42:50.000 That's sweet.

00:42:53.000 Next question.

00:42:56.000 Hi, Mr. Mr. Kirk.

00:42:58.000 My name is Nevaya.

00:42:59.000 I'm 18 years old and I was homeschooled my whole life and just graduated last year.

00:43:05.000 Thank you.

00:43:07.000 So right now I'm in that period of my life where I'm trying to establish myself.

00:43:12.000 So I've been working for myself online as a YouTuber and a podcaster from the time I was 15.

00:43:18.000 I'm actually trying to work for you right now.

00:43:20.000 So that's what I've been focusing on.

00:43:23.000 But I do have a really strong desire as a Christian to eventually get married and have children.

00:43:28.000 And I want to homeschool my kids as well eventually.

00:43:30.000 So I'm wondering what your advice is for balancing those two desires and what to prioritize at what stage of your life since women can't have it all. 1.00

00:43:39.000 Women can't. 1.00

00:43:44.000 They can have it all, but it's not simultaneously, like different seasons.

00:43:49.000 Your career, again, like I said, is not going anywhere.

00:43:52.000 So what you're establishing now on YouTube and your platform and all that stuff, it's not going anywhere.

00:43:57.000 What I will recommend, though, is when you do have children, do not use your children as pawns for a discount code.

00:44:04.000 Do not use your child for a free stroller, for some influencer thing.

00:44:11.000 Your children are sacred.

00:44:12.000 Protect them.

00:44:14.000 That is your role as a mother.

00:44:15.000 Your platform was given to you by God, so steward it well and steward properly.

00:44:20.000 But it's not going to go anywhere.

00:44:22.000 What you're building now is not going to get destroyed.

00:44:24.000 I think that's what a lot of people get misconstrued is thinking like, okay, what I'm building now is going to be worthless once I have a family.

00:44:29.000 No, God will redirect it.

00:44:31.000 He'll turn it into whatever it needs to turn into.

00:44:34.000 Pray on it because it's not always super clear, but it will come to you.

00:44:38.000 And I think that, yes, every season is going to come and have its own time and turn, but if this is what you're focusing on right now, like that's what you're focusing on.

00:44:50.000 I mean, I don't.

00:44:52.000 I think you're in a great spot, honestly.

00:44:54.000 And Erica answered it beautifully.

00:44:55.000 So again, you have to always prioritize what matters most.

00:45:01.000 And with that, the Lord will open up the right doors.

00:45:04.000 Thank you.

00:45:05.000 All right, let's see how quick this one is.

00:45:06.000 This might be the last question.

00:45:08.000 Yes.

00:45:08.000 Okay.

00:45:08.000 Hi, guys.

00:45:09.000 My name's Lily.

00:45:10.000 So one thing is a piece of advice I'd love.

00:45:13.000 The other is a question, which everyone you guys have time for.

00:45:16.000 So first of all, with gentle parenting, and then you have like abusive homes, what is the balance of biblical discipline and love?

00:45:24.000 And also, I would love advice for if you have a godly guy in your life, you guys agree on a lot of things spiritually and politically, but you still feel like there's a little bit more maturity that needs to go.

00:45:36.000 How do you wait on the Lord and how do you go about that?

00:45:38.000 I'll take the second one.

00:45:41.000 I'll take the first one too, but I want to hear, I mean, it's powerful to hear from the father.

00:45:45.000 The most important thing as a parent is that you must instill self-control, not self-esteem, for your kid.

00:45:51.000 Whatever it takes, you must have them understand the power of restraint, which is a fruit of the spirit.

00:45:57.000 Remember, self-control is a fruit of the spirit.

00:46:00.000 That's much easier said than done, right?

00:46:04.000 I could tell you more about what not to do and what we're not doing than what we're doing, because we're still figuring it out, but we know what not to do.

00:46:10.000 It is a civilizational tragedy when Eric and I go out with our two kids to eat, and we go look at another family, and everyone has their eyes on a screen.

00:46:21.000 It's so sad.

00:46:22.000 I just, it is so beyond con, and I don't want to sound judgmental.

00:46:26.000 Maybe they had like a long day at work or something.

00:46:28.000 I really find no excuse whatsoever because these kids put on these headphones and they just escape reality staring at these screens all day long.

00:46:38.000 And it's really, really bad, everybody.

00:46:40.000 And it's totally unnecessary.

00:46:42.000 We have a very hyperactive two-year-old.

00:46:45.000 You have to just have them color something.

00:46:48.000 Have them write.

00:46:49.000 I bring an arsenal of a backpack.

00:46:51.000 I have Play-Doh.

00:46:52.000 I have paints.

00:46:53.000 I have anything you can imagine.

00:46:56.000 Totally.

00:46:56.000 You just load up that bag and that's, but you're teaching them.

00:47:00.000 You make it fun.

00:47:01.000 Here's your fancy napkin.

00:47:02.000 You get to order.

00:47:03.000 Like, this is really special.

00:47:04.000 If they have to get up and go outside and run around, so be it.

00:47:07.000 But you're teaching them how to interact with adults.

00:47:10.000 You're teaching them how to be patient.

00:47:12.000 If you're putting a screen in front of them, you're teaching them a way to escape.

00:47:15.000 The data shows this, but we anecdotally can confirm this.

00:47:18.000 Even like five minutes of screen time, they get brattier.

00:47:21.000 Yeah.

00:47:22.000 They get more unruly.

00:47:23.000 They just kind of get disconnected from where they are.

00:47:25.000 We could see a total behavioral difference with our daughter as soon as there's like a screen introduced. 0.97

00:47:31.000 Even if it's just Spotify.

00:47:32.000 Like even if she's like, I want to choose my song.

00:47:35.000 Do you want to build a sound man?

00:47:37.000 But like five minutes later, she's like, you can't.

00:47:41.000 It's like she's droned in.

00:47:42.000 So we have one screen for the whole family.

00:47:45.000 Central, same as Matt Walsh, and I kind of got this from him.

00:47:48.000 There's agreed upon stuff that we're allowed to watch as a family, and it's a very, very short list, right?

00:47:53.000 It's like Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, and then the Chicago Cubs.

00:47:58.000 And the Charlie Kirk show.

00:47:59.000 And the Charlie Kirk show.

00:48:00.000 And we don't allow it later in the day unless the Cubs are playing.

00:48:03.000 That's a whole separate issue.

00:48:05.000 They happen to be good this year.

00:48:06.000 And then maybe some college football.

00:48:08.000 But that's like, we're so careful because we can do the whole parenting.

00:48:13.000 But as far as this, this is a very difficult thing.

00:48:16.000 And it's very hard, actually.

00:48:18.000 But it must be said.

00:48:19.000 You are not your kid's friend.

00:48:21.000 That is like, it is, I know that it sounds easy to hear.

00:48:26.000 You are their parent.

00:48:29.000 It is an up and down relationship.

00:48:31.000 It is not a horizontal one.

00:48:33.000 You are not their equal.

00:48:34.000 And I see in public sometimes these parenting displays that it's so sad where it's just placation.

00:48:42.000 The parent is being held hostage by the child.

00:48:46.000 It is like an ongoing blackmail operation.

00:48:50.000 No, I'm not kidding.

00:48:51.000 Where it's like, give me candy or else I riot.

00:48:54.000 It's like completely different than like BL.

00:48:56.000 It's no different than BLM.

00:48:58.000 It's like, you know, give me something or else I'm going to tear it.

00:49:02.000 Turn the place down. 0.70

00:49:02.000 No, seriously. 0.70

00:49:04.000 It's like, no, you need rules and order.

00:49:07.000 And like, Erica's been amazing.

00:49:08.000 She deserves, you deserve so much credit.

00:49:10.000 Like, sometimes you leave the restaurant.

00:49:12.000 Sometimes like, nope, we're done, actually. 1.00

00:49:15.000 You made a fool of yourself. 0.99

00:49:16.000 We're done. 1.00

00:49:18.000 We gave you one last warning, right?

00:49:21.000 And final thing is that, and Alex Clark has been phenomenal on this.

00:49:25.000 She deserves a lot of credit.

00:49:27.000 She does.

00:49:28.000 And it's informed us, amongst Bobby Kendi and others, what you are putting into your kids really matters.

00:49:35.000 Especially sugar, carbohydrates, how they behave.

00:49:39.000 If you feed them good stuff, parenting becomes easier.

00:49:42.000 Not easy, but easier.

00:49:44.000 Truly.

00:49:45.000 Truly.

00:49:46.000 I forget what your gentle parenting and the maturity of a man.

00:49:51.000 He's not quite there yet.

00:49:52.000 He's not as mature as she would like.

00:49:53.000 I would have him find someone, if you have a solid church that you go to, I would share that with either the pastor or someone within the church that you look up to and have a male figure pour into him.

00:50:05.000 Not a stranger or not an uncle or not a brother, someone totally a separate party that's not connected.

00:50:11.000 It can be private, but have him go and get mentored once, twice a week, and really just have someone he can look towards to see, like, this is the way to be a biblical person.

00:50:20.000 He needs to hear one thing, just one sentence.

00:50:23.000 You will lose her if you don't grow up.

00:50:25.000 If he hears that, radical change will happen.

00:50:28.000 If the right person says that, he doesn't need a whole feeling session.

00:50:31.000 We don't need that as men.

00:50:32.000 We don't need emotionality.

00:50:33.000 No, no.

00:50:34.000 You need conviction and order and a challenge, and we need like high stakes.

00:50:39.000 And if we hear you're going to lose what you take for granted if you don't, watch radical change ensue.

00:50:46.000 Thank you.

00:50:46.000 Last question.

00:50:48.000 Sorry.

00:50:52.000 Hi, guys.

00:50:52.000 My name is Violet.

00:50:54.000 I'm from San Antonio.

00:50:56.000 I'm super emotional as well.

00:50:58.000 I'm sure I'm not the only one.

00:51:00.000 And I also know that men are very logical and kind of have a hard time with that.

00:51:06.000 So I was wondering, Charlie, what do you do to really nurture Erica's emotional side when your boy brain is like trying to answer every question and be logical with her?

00:51:17.000 It's a great question.

00:51:19.000 This is why understanding female nature to the best of our ability as men is very important.

00:51:26.000 And again, we've had like different configurations of a men's summit, but I talk to men a lot on campus and through my content and stuff.

00:51:33.000 But it's what I tell them is that you must understand God wired us a lot differently.

00:51:39.000 Look, the biggest thing is really time.

00:51:41.000 Time with your spouse, time to have your spouse be able to think or talk about that specific situation that has them maybe fired up, right?

00:51:50.000 And then also sometimes men look at, we have a problem where we think we are the firefighter to put out a fire.

00:51:58.000 We see problem, we want to fix it, right?

00:52:02.000 We see broken engine, we come to repair it, right?

00:52:06.000 Sometimes the solution is just talking about the problem, which for us is like an incomprehensible thing.

00:52:13.000 It's like, wait, why would you talk about the problem and not solve the problem?

00:52:17.000 Because sometimes the problem is the fact that it hasn't been talked about.

00:52:21.000 Am I right?

00:52:23.000 I understand female nature. 1.00

00:52:25.000 And it's like for men, it's like, it's like, what do you do?

00:52:28.000 It's like a distant thing.

00:52:30.000 And similarly, for you, when you have husbands, right, it might drive you crazy that you can't, and Eric and I, we talk about this, you can't get out more than three.

00:52:41.000 How was your day?

00:52:42.000 Fine.

00:52:44.000 You know, what'd you do today?

00:52:46.000 Stuff.

00:52:47.000 A lot of stuff.

00:52:48.000 It's not an insult to you.

00:52:50.000 No, they're tired.

00:52:51.000 Tired.

00:52:52.000 And our brains work differently, right?

00:52:54.000 It's for women, conversation, especially conversation about nothing, is therapeutic.

00:53:02.000 Okay?

00:53:03.000 I'm sorry.

00:53:04.000 It's very cathartic, okay?

00:53:06.000 For men, it's exhausting.

00:53:10.000 And for us, we like to unplug, and we like to watch or see somebody else do something hard.

00:53:17.000 That's what sports is, right?

00:53:19.000 Or a movie.

00:53:20.000 Like we, for us, we either want to do hard things or watch other people do hard things.

00:53:25.000 That's like men in a nutshell, okay? 0.98

00:53:28.000 We either want to be the ones doing the hard thing, like mowing the lawn or chopping down a tree, right?

00:53:33.000 Or we want to watch other people do hard things, okay?

00:53:36.000 For women, they're like, well, let's talk for 45 minutes. 1.00

00:53:39.000 And that's not, there's nothing wrong about that.

00:53:42.000 Emotionality is a beautiful thing.

00:53:44.000 This is why we are not AI, right?

00:53:47.000 We're not chat GPT.

00:53:48.000 We have a soul, right?

00:53:50.000 And God made us different for a reason.

00:53:54.000 And I just want to brag on the women of America because there's a lot of bashing of feminism, and there should be. 1.00

00:54:01.000 And there's a lot of bashing of women in the country, of like how they veered off track, some of which honestly is warranted. 1.00

00:54:07.000 But the one thing that is not talked about enough is how women have kept church attendance and the faith alive in the West and a much better job than men the last third.

00:54:18.000 No, it's a very real thing.

00:54:19.000 This is why Mother's Day church service is one of the highest attendance of the year besides Easter and Christmas.

00:54:27.000 Why?

00:54:28.000 What do you want for Mother's Day, honey?

00:54:29.000 I want to bring the entire family to church.

00:54:32.000 What do you want for Father's Day, honey?

00:54:34.000 I don't know, golf or watch golf.

00:54:36.000 Remember, do hard things, watch people do hard things.

00:54:39.000 They don't want to go to church.

00:54:40.000 By the way, let me just say, for men out there that are listening in the internet, if you do not lead your family to church, it is the number one predictor that your children will not also go to church.

00:54:50.000 But it deserves so, women, you deserve so much credit for keeping church attendance alive, for serving in the churches, for volunteering in the churches, for keeping the entire faith robust.

00:55:03.000 And now we're seeing a resurgence of young men finally come back.

00:55:06.000 That's something I don't think that's always articulated of how the American church has really been saved and strengthened by women in America.

00:55:14.000 Final thoughts.

00:55:15.000 So, something that he does to pour into me emotionally is, or to just check in from that standpoint, is if he comes home, he's tired, how's your day, great, blah, blah, blah.

00:55:26.000 And I'm still cooking whatever.

00:55:29.000 On his Sabbath, when he has a moment, he writes me a note.

00:55:33.000 He has not missed one.

00:55:34.000 He writes me a note, either leaves it on my pillow, hands it to me.

00:55:38.000 I have saved every single one of them.

00:55:40.000 And those notes are what refill me emotionally if I need that filling.

00:55:47.000 He's very good about that.

00:55:48.000 So when you're in a relationship, how it's important to know your spouse's nature, it's also important to know your own.

00:55:55.000 What do you want him to do to help pour into your emotional side?

00:55:59.000 What is something that makes you tick and your heart tick?

00:56:02.000 Do you want him to write you a note?

00:56:03.000 Do you want him to tell you you're beautiful?

00:56:04.000 Do you want him to take you on a date?

00:56:06.000 Do you want him to bring you flowers?

00:56:07.000 Do you hate flowers?

00:56:08.000 Do you want a cake?

00:56:10.000 Like, you learn what will speak to you so that you can check that box in your head.

00:56:15.000 Even on a day where he says five words, but he brought you flowers and you're like, wow, I feel loved.

00:56:21.000 I get it.

00:56:22.000 Just like be sure to communicate that, though.

00:56:24.000 He can't read your brain.

00:56:26.000 It's the famous thing of, where do you want to go eat for dinner?

00:56:30.000 I don't care.

00:56:31.000 We'll go to Chipotle.

00:56:32.000 I don't want Chipotle.

00:56:34.000 Like, you need to be able to know your own nature to tell your husband, not train him, but as a team, this is what I want.

00:56:42.000 This is what I expect.

00:56:43.000 I love you so much.

00:56:44.000 Please, this is how you can pour into me.

00:56:47.000 How can I pour into you?

00:56:48.000 Charlie and I check in with each other every single day.

00:56:50.000 How can I serve you better?

00:56:52.000 What can I do for you to make it better when you get home?

00:56:54.000 Is there anything that you need me to have ready for you when you come back from the office or this trip?

00:56:57.000 XYZ, he asks me the same thing if I'm out doing something or even if I'm out with the kids.

00:57:02.000 What can I do?

00:57:03.000 How can I make your day better?

00:57:04.000 You're a team and you guys are not at ends with each other.

00:57:09.000 Work together, communicate, and grow together as equally yoked partnership.

00:57:15.000 It's beautiful.

00:57:17.000 And thank you for that.

00:57:20.000 I want to plug one thing and then I will say one last thing to the whole audience and thank you.

00:57:25.000 I want all of you to start a Turning Point USA chapter at your high school or college.

00:57:30.000 Who's here at Turning Point USA chapter leader?

00:57:31.000 Raise your hand.

00:57:33.000 We need more of you to go start Turning Point USA chapters.

00:57:36.000 You could do so out there.

00:57:37.000 There's amazing giveaways associated.

00:57:39.000 The final thing, I'll say two final things.

00:57:41.000 And then Eric, do you have any final thoughts before I get to my two final things?

00:57:46.000 I'll go quick while you think about it.

00:57:47.000 The first of which is we're going to have a whole Q ⁇ A for politics or whatever you want tomorrow or more relationship stuff if you want.

00:57:53.000 Do not talk down to men.

00:57:56.000 Do not engage in this toxic masculinity bashing of men.

00:58:00.000 Not only do we need men, the civilization is, God created man and women.

00:58:04.000 And it's very tempting to get into the whole kind of girl-dominant society. 0.99

00:58:08.000 You do not want to live in that world.

00:58:10.000 I'm telling you right now, you do not.

00:58:12.000 You want to live in a world where the best of both sexes are equally balanced.

00:58:16.000 The other thing I'll say, which is just kind of funnier, it's hard to put into words how much men want just like a return to normal things, like cooking a meal, like serving in like those fundamental ways.

00:58:33.000 Like that stuff as a husband or even a boyfriend goes beyond measure than I can put into words.

00:58:38.000 And make it fun.

00:58:39.000 Be like, what do you want to eat?

00:58:40.000 And then like have them make a menu.

00:58:42.000 And then it's a good challenge for you.

00:58:44.000 It's like, I cooked swordfish the other night.

00:58:46.000 It was okay.

00:58:47.000 It wasn't my best.

00:58:48.000 But like.

00:58:49.000 That's great.

00:58:51.000 But that goes to say, just make things fun.

00:58:54.000 Don't, again, don't look at it as I have to.

00:58:58.000 I get to serve my husband.

00:59:00.000 I get to submit unto my husband because he's submitting himself to the Lord.

00:59:05.000 There is a balance, and there's something really beautiful about that balance.

00:59:09.000 If you have a situation where you don't have someone in your life that you can look towards as a healthy marriage, find, seek that out, whether that's in your church, whether that's in your community, whether that's something online.

00:59:22.000 Hold on to that so that you can have some form of an understanding of, okay, this is what I have to look forward to.

00:59:28.000 I'm so excited.

00:59:29.000 And God will make sure that the right man will come in your path.

00:59:32.000 He won't walk past you.

00:59:34.000 He won't miss you.

00:59:36.000 God is always on time, and so is your future husband.

00:59:39.000 So just wait on the Lord, and you'll get everything that you've prayed for and more.

00:59:43.000 Stuff that you prayed for that you thought you needed, you'll get way beyond that because God knows truly the desires of your heart.

00:59:50.000 If you see anybody that looks lonely, go introduce yourself.

00:59:53.000 Totally.

00:59:54.000 Make sure you counsel them and make a friend out of them.

00:59:56.000 We want people to leave friends for a lifetime here, and we are just getting started.

01:00:00.000 The next couple days are going to be life-changing.

01:00:02.000 God bless you all.

01:00:02.000 Thank you so much.

The Charlie Kirk Show - December 25, 2025

Charlie and Erika Kirk's Advice on Family, Marriage, and More

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