The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - BEING A LEGAL BADDIE Ft. Dellara ｜ Drew Afualo ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 54

00:00:00.000 so the whole logic behind women not being able to show skin in the classroom is because it 1.00

00:00:06.200 distracts dudes right but when i was in a class where i was attracted to a guy i would do so much

00:00:13.080 better in that class like i would be more motivated to show up to class we're just built

00:00:17.620 different that's why but i'm thinking like yeah actually it is because we're built like they

00:00:21.800 malfunction and we and we flourish yeah

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00:01:28.940 responsibly hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me your

00:01:34.200 favorite everyone knows me but today i have bangs everyone be nice to me while my bangs they're not

00:01:38.540 real anyways moving on to this very special guest of this episode the one the only delara

00:01:44.720 a.k.a legal baddie hi everyone period so happy to be here so this is a long time coming it really

00:01:53.240 has been and we have so much to discuss we do i was just telling delara that uh she's one of the

00:01:59.320 people that has been recommended many times and i was like i'm already ahead of you guys she's on 0.96

00:02:03.860 the schedule she's two steps ahead always always you think i wouldn't have a bad bitch lawyer on my 1.00

00:02:09.900 show you're out of your mind you're out of your mind if you think i wouldn't have her on my show 0.98

00:02:13.460 period i'm so excited so happy to be here we go way back we go back i remember following forever it's

00:02:19.540 been a minute and it's been so beautiful to watch your journey and the way that you are changing the

00:02:24.500 world changing minds changing vibes and i'm just i'm just honored to to be a witness to the greatness

00:02:30.840 stop same same to you honestly i was blown away when i saw your content mostly because 0.98

00:02:38.240 i love a smart bitch let me tell you something takes a smart bitch to recognize a smart period 1.00

00:02:44.040 and i love one that upsets men because she's so smart and hot so there you go it's it's a it's a cool 0.99

00:02:52.020 it's an interesting position to be in and it's one that i i want to leverage for good for sure

00:02:57.920 absolutely yeah so how did you come into content creation as a whole because obviously you went to

00:03:03.380 law school you were you passed the bar yeah so and then you kind of fell into yeah it was you know

00:03:08.520 it was totally kind of by accident i started making content as a way of staying accountable to myself

00:03:14.620 for this uh 30-day challenge i was doing i was like i want to meditate 10 minutes a day read 10 minutes

00:03:20.400 a day um drink this much whatever and i was like this is me day one and um follow along for the

00:03:27.480 journey cool and then day one ended up going viral and i was like okay i understand kind of how like

00:03:33.320 the power of tiktok yeah but i was like i'm not a fitness girly i'm not a wellness girly what value

00:03:38.880 can i provide uh through this platform and at the time i was studying for the bar exam so i was like

00:03:44.940 why not allow people to come on this journey with me one again as a form of accountability but two to

00:03:51.020 be a form of representation for women and women of color who are also on the same journey with law

00:03:58.160 school or just trying to grow and better themselves and it was so cool to have like community behind

00:04:03.780 there was also pressure because if i didn't pass i would have it would have been a a thing but i'm so

00:04:10.360 grateful i did yeah and then i told myself i um i wanted to be a legal correspondent on a national

00:04:16.420 news network and i was like okay how do i how do i get there yeah and i and i thought maybe it would

00:04:22.520 be by taking a judicial clerkship which i did because i was exposed to so many different areas

00:04:26.980 of the law yeah but it was not what i thought it was going to be and i and i realized i'm like why not

00:04:33.440 just why not just be a legal correspondent on tiktok like why not just put the video just do what a

00:04:38.740 legal correspondent would do i love that and i started doing it and then those videos really started

00:04:43.420 popping off uh people are really enjoying it and it was amazing like the like i was getting more

00:04:50.020 views than traditional legal correspondents on national news networks and it was just this evolution

00:04:55.340 kind of of this uh this dream and this journey and and i think people just really enjoyed seeing um

00:05:03.500 women think about these topics in a nuance in a unique way and things have kind of just gone from there 1.00

00:05:12.160 and i'm so grateful for the community that we've built and to to really just think about things

00:05:19.200 differently and and have more critical conversations of the current events that are shaping our world and

00:05:25.080 yeah i mean well that's the tea of it all isn't it because obviously media is ever evolving it's it's

00:05:31.860 constantly changing and shifting and yeah the reality is millennials and younger are getting all of

00:05:40.160 their news primarily from social media so like it why not steer into the skid that makes a lot of

00:05:47.080 sense why you would be like i mean i'm already here i literally passed the bar i might as well do what i

00:05:51.880 wanted to do but do it on my own terms exactly which is a power move honestly it's a power move and it's

00:05:57.500 also like a freedom move and something i really want to do with my platform is give other specifically

00:06:03.340 women the permission to play by their own rules in a world where we grow up in having to play by other 1.00

00:06:11.000 people's rules oftentimes men's rules yeah and i think something that i have really been exposed to

00:06:17.040 through my journey of becoming a lawyer is that you're so often uh pressured to be more masculine in

00:06:26.280 order to be deemed more professional and that's something i've always rejected i love leaning into my

00:06:31.740 femininity and granted like femininity even as a social construct but i guess like traditional

00:06:35.980 notions of femininity in as a way to access power as opposed to leaning into masculinity to access power 0.98

00:06:42.300 and i do have a lot of masculine energy but i think it's about um it's about celebrating both instead of

00:06:49.520 conforming to succeed i would rather disrupt to succeed that's true yeah that's tea honestly i think

00:06:55.300 it's also another it's just yet another facet of white supremacy anyways because as women of color 1.00

00:07:02.640 we're already masculinized more than white women especially so like i mean for me they constantly 1.00

00:07:10.440 tell me like even if i'm kiki laughing silly goose time yeah they're like why are you so aggressive

00:07:16.960 right and it's like i wasn't even yeah i was giggling literally i was giggling it's just everyone

00:07:24.360 there's so many people who are committed to misunderstanding you when you when you show

00:07:29.140 up as your authentic self yeah and and that's really what it is it's not about being more girly

00:07:33.980 it's not about being more masculine it's just about showing up as your authentic self in whatever space

00:07:40.540 that is whether that's a male-dominated space whether that's a female-dominated space or just a 1.00

00:07:45.460 balanced space yeah and not feeling like i am going to be punished for showing up as my authentic

00:07:51.220 yeah absolutely when i worked in because we're obviously the topic for today we're gonna talk

00:07:55.120 about working in male-dominated spaces speaking of that because we both know because i used to work

00:08:00.180 in sports so but even when i worked in sports when i was there i always had long nails i always had

00:08:06.680 lashes i always wore makeup all that kind of stuff i can't tell you how many times people would comment

00:08:12.200 on that like those backhanded compliment comments from well pick me's which is like internalized

00:08:17.520 misogyny right which is like oh i don't i don't have time for stuff like that yeah i'm like yeah i

00:08:23.120 can tell here's the other thing and i can imagine this was your experience working in sports is as a 0.98

00:08:28.340 woman you're expected to know twice as much you're supposed to be on your shit on a different level and 0.98

00:08:33.140 i was thinking about it the other day where i was like any male-dominated space women have to be 0.99

00:08:38.800 just like way better than the average person in order to be taken seriously but when i think about

00:08:43.540 a female-dominated space like for instance let's say nursing yeah i don't think maybe i'm wrong but

00:08:49.500 like if a man is in that space that he has to prove himself or be twice as good or and that's an

00:08:54.760 interesting double standard it's the same thing as uh being a parent right like with when men are

00:08:59.940 seen alone with their children they're like oh my god what a great dad yeah when women are seen 1.00

00:09:03.880 alone with their children they're like that's her job right right you mean you want a gold medal for

00:09:08.540 being a caretaker yeah yeah and that's that's the the irony and the double standard of it all

00:09:14.560 especially like when i was in college um i was a sports editor of my school newspaper the last two

00:09:19.820 years i was in college that's so one one year we did um march madness like with my team we were just

00:09:26.280 like oh let's do march madness yeah so we like filled out brackets and all that shit like we all did 0.79

00:09:29.920 it together and i remember when i filled it out i was like well i gotta go home and study because

00:09:34.900 like i don't know that much about basketball like i know basketball but i just didn't know enough

00:09:39.320 about the teams there's so many teams in march madness i was like well i have to go home and 0.95

00:09:42.920 study i literally said that before i filled out my bracket i the way that these bitches were 1.00

00:09:48.120 dogging me like all these men were like oh you have to study you just study sport guess who won 0.99

00:09:54.600 me bitch period that's the best revenge that's the best revenge yeah even when i was in law school 0.99

00:10:02.240 it's interesting the hate that i got was never from my female peers it was it was only from the 0.99

00:10:09.900 guys like oh she dresses like that let's see what her gpa is let's see how she does you know after 0.99

00:10:15.640 her first year of law school so slut shaming and misogynistic so slut shaming exactly whereas my female 1.00

00:10:21.760 peers would would come up to me and say thank you for showing up the way that you do to law school 0.94

00:10:27.560 because now i feel more comfortable to show up expressing myself as opposed to like in sweats or

00:10:32.400 like covering up my identity yeah dim myself to make other people comfortable yeah especially men

00:10:38.820 especially men and that's just something i have rejected my whole like even in high school drew i

00:10:44.600 would show up to school like in five inch heels like a mini skirt like i was i was walking the line

00:10:54.580 between like getting punished by the administrator with dress code which is such a bizarre concept it's

00:11:01.880 also only applied to women only applied to women the only ways that in which it's implied applied to 0.99

00:11:07.860 men is when it's like vulgar language on shirts and stuff and it's like with women it's like 1.00

00:11:13.200 collarbones here's the thing away here's the thing and i actually think it's so crazy is when so the

00:11:20.180 whole logic behind women not being able to show skin in the classroom is because it distracts dudes 1.00

00:11:27.000 right but when i was in a class where i was attracted to a guy i would do so much better in

00:11:33.100 that class like i would be more motivated to show up to class we're just built different that's why

00:11:38.060 but i'm thinking like yeah actually it is because we're built like they malfunction and we and we

00:11:43.480 it motivates us yeah it like that's that's like i was that's t i was just talking to my mom about

00:11:48.600 that like how like we're built so differently like we can focus on a million things at once yeah but

00:11:55.820 you give the average dude one task it's gonna be a a whole day thing like he's like i gotta mentally

00:12:02.680 prepare for my task whereas like women can do everything like aside from being like a partner a 1.00

00:12:08.340 spouse or a mother right they're also working providing cooking cleaning all of those things 1.00

00:12:14.440 so they're just built different from a very young age we're like taught you need to be able to do a

00:12:19.280 million things you can't just do one now do you think that women are built different um innately like 1.00

00:12:26.060 we are born different or do you think it's because we have to grow up in a world where we have to work

00:12:31.500 harder in order to receive the same things or be treated the same way or do you think it's like a mix of

00:12:36.660 both i think it's more so influenced by culture yeah i think because naturally speaking like we all

00:12:43.880 only had one task which was like hunting and then gathering right which is pretty much it but then

00:12:50.100 men figured out that women could also hunt so they're like why would i do that when you could do 0.98

00:12:54.220 all of it and i could just stay at home which is the real tea because their misogyny is like oh 0.92

00:12:58.860 women stay at home and men go to work right but it's just it's the most it's such an imbalance of 1.00

00:13:04.940 power but it's also so typical like women are just used to it at this point yes so they're kind

00:13:10.040 of like well i i do think it's evolving though and yeah absolutely and and the reason why it's

00:13:15.820 evolving is because it's the first time in history where women have more access to financial freedom 1.00

00:13:22.000 than they ever have and so it's creating almost this new market of men who are kind of like down to be

00:13:29.240 stay at home house husbands and and and i think in that pursuit there's also this transition of like 0.88

00:13:36.680 guys caring more about their appearance yeah guys wanting to be bad bitches like guys and i'm kind of 0.98

00:13:42.980 here for that i love that because the economics of hot girls and hot guys is just so ass backwards 1.00

00:13:50.000 a guy goes out to a bar or to a club or anywhere guaranteed you'll see at least like five beautiful 0.61

00:13:56.260 women yeah i am lucky if i walk in anywhere anywhere and i see a seven i'm lucky like truly

00:14:04.480 like there are so many guys in backward baseball caps and cargo shorts and so many stunning gorgeous

00:14:09.960 creative talented beautiful literally like kind women it's a sickness and it's and it's up the 0.99

00:14:16.960 economics of dating it's up the ecosystem is yeah and so i really am excited for this shift now that now

00:14:24.640 that women are stepping into their power and and not needing to depend on a man that maybe we will 1.00

00:14:32.080 start to see a little bit more yeah it's like every every small step forward is still a step forward so 0.59

00:14:37.720 it's definitely way way way better and it has evolved entirely it's still garbage in a lot of ways but

00:14:44.900 we're all hip to the game now now everybody knows yeah and to your point about um you're lucky if you see

00:14:52.120 anyone hot when you go out like as men yeah if you're attracted to men uh dress codes for clubs are

00:14:57.340 like this indicative of that true like for women it's like you have to be dressed hot in order to 1.00

00:15:02.420 like get in right with men it's like you gotta wear a college shirt and you just need to spend money 0.99

00:15:07.080 yeah and then none of that is like wash your ass like at all so like women have to come like yeah 1.00

00:15:12.280 dress to the nines and men are like i will like i iron this shirt so there you go also clubs are like 0.99

00:15:19.680 incredibly racist as well that too and fat phobic and fat phobic and that's something i feel like

00:15:25.280 that isn't discussed enough i have like a dream and it's a funny dream but i really want to open up 0.94

00:15:32.220 like a lounge or like a club or something where it's just the opposite where only hot guys get in

00:15:37.360 and women are the ones popping bottles because i would every woman i would i would drop a couple of 1.00

00:15:42.280 racks just to guarantee that i can go out with my friends and be surrounded by just like attractive

00:15:49.060 men yeah because no weirdos allowed the option doesn't even exist even if i wanted to spend

00:15:54.700 fifty thousand dollars right now i can't tell you a certain like one location where i could have where

00:15:59.340 they guarantee you at least five at least five that are like possible guys oh my gosh they're so 0.99

00:16:05.460 spoiled they are they are because women put everything in their whole pussy into their looks and 1.00

00:16:10.020 yeah it's like it's and men are like you only do that for the opposite sex which is not true it's 1.00

00:16:15.960 not true especially at this point like at this point especially at this point like they do it

00:16:20.080 because they are hot and why wouldn't they want to show that they're hot yeah but men just like i have

00:16:25.480 been reflecting though and i've been asking myself how much of the way that i present which is like

00:16:30.800 pretty like hyper feminine is because i genuinely enjoy expressing myself this way and i think i do because

00:16:38.280 since i was a kid and i was even exposed to like all the bullshit it's just i didn't want to wear 0.81

00:16:43.660 pants like i just wanted to wear dresses i've always just really leaned into it has traditional 0.82

00:16:48.120 notions of femininity yeah or how much my identity is shaped by like um the male gaze yeah yeah it's hard

00:16:57.100 it's hard i think that's a big well first of all there's a power in admitting that yeah and second of

00:17:03.000 all that's part of the process of unlearning yeah your internalized misogyny is admitting

00:17:07.360 where you may be falling short in those areas and for me like for me i've always been super feminine

00:17:15.080 too like feminine presenting i love when i was a kid i love makeup i love doing my hair i like when i got

00:17:20.960 into clothes like i would be overdressed all the time because that's just like what i what i loved

00:17:26.380 even when we got punished for it i still continued and that's what tells me that it's from my heart

00:17:31.400 yeah exactly and i think same with me and i think when i got to the age where i started becoming a

00:17:37.040 pick me because we all like we all have that inherently become one and then we have to get

00:17:41.260 out the other side of the forest just like come out the other end facts with me when i came out the

00:17:45.640 other side i realized that certain parts of my feminine feminine expression were for specifically for 0.69

00:17:52.980 the male gaze for example i felt like i always had to wear something tight i always had to wear

00:17:58.660 something low cut i always had to wear something like that which is tea but that's mine too like

00:18:03.700 mine's really tight yeah but i'm saying when i was in my the throes of my pigment face i wouldn't wear

00:18:08.820 anything that hid my figure nothing yeah because i'm like well that makes me look bad and it makes me

00:18:15.660 look bad that makes me look bad to men yeah that wasn't a conscious thought i had but when i unpack it

00:18:20.800 that is what it was yeah which made me more comfortable wearing baggy things which is again another way

00:18:26.180 where you're staring away from the male gaze does that mean i wear that all the time no but i think

00:18:30.300 it just unlocked a different side of my fashion sense yeah because i was depriving myself of like

00:18:35.520 baggy jeans sure or like sweats or like things that i thought i could dress up and make fits out of

00:18:40.940 it's like the reverse billy eilish pipeline yeah exactly exactly which i like i love that for her

00:18:46.840 yeah exactly it's all about balance at the end of the day i think so too um but yeah i've been i've been 0.98

00:18:53.680 committed to this shit since day one like day one well i've always been a glam bitch i came out of 0.99

00:18:59.100 the womb like in heels like truly truly i've always been a super super glam bitch so that's 0.99

00:19:05.240 why i love i've always loved makeup and hair and nails as soon as i was able to get nails i got them

00:19:10.580 and i was like this is my whole life now right i'm gonna i am this girl now 1000 it's in the budget 0.84

00:19:16.680 forever now i'm gonna make sure i can always afford nails yep i love that and lash extensions bitch get out 1.00

00:19:22.660 of town oh my god i've for the last five years i have been addicted all through law school yeah

00:19:28.280 before law school even and then i would get airbrush tans they just make me feel snatched

00:19:34.020 um all of it all it's all it's all tied together but since we're since we're talking about your

00:19:40.180 valentine's nails by the way thank you my valentine's can we get a zoom in look at that

00:19:44.480 period so we're going to be talking about working in male dominated industries obviously for those of

00:19:49.680 you who don't know here on the comment section what we like to do is we bring videos that i was

00:19:53.560 tagged in that are applicable to our topic today and then we kiki laugh rip them apart whatever

00:19:57.440 is necessary so for this first video we have uh it says in this video a woman reacts to quotes

00:20:04.900 appearing on the screen that say things like men have told her or say things men have told her in

00:20:09.880 work environments like this is a male dominated industry he was just a better candidate for the job 1.00

00:20:15.300 and men are just better for leadership positions which is hilarious to think about it's actually

00:20:22.300 scientifically not true especially considering how all the world's problems have been caused by men 0.82

00:20:28.180 facts so maybe they're not the best i think the issue is that we pick leaders based on confidence and

00:20:36.300 not based on merit and men beat women out on confidence yeah but women are more competent leaders 1.00

00:20:42.440 across the board like across the board there's so many studies like huge studies that confirm this

00:20:49.820 yeah um and i think that it makes sense right going back to what we were talking about earlier the

00:20:55.520 ability to multitask the ability to have the emotional intelligence to assess a situation yeah to be

00:21:03.140 to be a multi-dimensional nuanced in in the approach as opposed to this very tunnel vision type way of

00:21:09.420 solving problems more creative more creative problem solving yeah and and also like easier to approach

00:21:15.900 less narcissistic less sociopathic you know what i mean yeah narcissism like personality disorder that

00:21:22.760 is overwhelmingly men are diagnosed with that more than women yeah and it kind of goes back again to

00:21:29.240 this nature and nurture thing like why is this happening because i i don't want to i don't want to

00:21:35.500 believe that like men are just like born like like like this you know like truly and when we think of

00:21:44.440 you know the violent statistics i mean just i'm very data driven i'm very data driven and i i try

00:21:51.400 at the end of the day when sense of it i have to because and that's part of the reason why i even like

00:21:56.640 was so passionate about my traditional education is because i never wanted my beliefs about the world to

00:22:04.440 be like okay you're just being emotional like this is just your perspective like it's always been um

00:22:10.180 imperative for me to use data and science to to prove the fact that the way that i feel is valid

00:22:17.260 which is f***ed up in itself because the way that i feel should be valid without regardless exactly 0.71

00:22:22.500 yeah like my experience is valid right that's the lawyer in you you need the you need the evidence

00:22:27.640 yeah and as a woman like in a male-dominated space like even let's say in law school a hyper 0.69

00:22:35.960 feminine presenting woman you raise your hand all eyes are on you what is she gonna say yeah when a 1.00

00:22:41.360 guy raises his hand it's just like okay like whatever yeah and so that also adds an entire

00:22:47.720 different level of pressure yeah of of an opportunity to fail an opportunity to choke and then when the

00:22:55.580 woman chokes it's like of course she choked yeah and it's like well that makes sense because she's a 1.00

00:22:59.320 woman of course all she cares about is the way that she looks and and and the way that she dresses she 1.00

00:23:03.860 doesn't actually care about the substance and whatever actually smart yep i've had a man say that's who my

00:23:09.360 face was oh i believe it he told me um you're a lot smarter than you look yeah and i was like what

00:23:15.400 because i was literally training him for the job that he was gonna take insane and he was like yeah you

00:23:21.800 know like when i saw you i just figured like she's probably not very smart but turns out like you 0.99

00:23:26.760 are i couldn't believe he said it to me so it costs zero dollars to keep that shit to yourself literally 0.94

00:23:31.940 like some thoughts what do you get like but there's some thoughts yeah should stay up here and it's 0.99

00:23:37.760 literally it's it's like a shock it's literally it's almost like word vomit like they just can't

00:23:41.780 help it they can't help it yeah so they say it and then you're like that was rude whereas like women 1.00

00:23:47.000 possess the emotional intelligence to be able to filter those thoughts yeah how would this person

00:23:52.100 how is this going to come across there's always like two two lines of thinking that are happening

00:23:56.840 like my thoughts in my head and then how is it going to be received whereas i feel like men

00:24:00.600 just don't have that they don't have that at all like innately they they genuinely don't have that

00:24:05.680 like like your words can impact others like they don't think about that because consequences

00:24:11.660 consequences especially like metaphorical ones or like verbal ones are not very common with them

00:24:18.100 like they're so used to being unchecked exactly and so many different facets of life makes

00:24:23.880 especially like cishet white men yeah but all men inherently are not used to consequence especially

00:24:29.580 emotional consequence yeah which is why they hate me yeah yeah exactly they're never ever held

00:24:35.980 accountable for the things that they say absolutely to them they're like these are just words

00:24:40.700 yep and they aren't they uphold such a greater oppression structure absolutely which they don't 1.00

00:24:46.880 realize because they're stupid yeah that's the tea yeah that's the tea of it all is stupid and 1.00

00:24:52.480 unchecked is like a dangerous combo it really is i mean that's where we get trump you know like stupid 1.00

00:24:58.500 and unchecked yeah literally and just like and all the people that follow him it's like an endless supply 1.00

00:25:04.860 of like stupid cronies like it's like literally and when i say stupid i mean like genuinely like you 0.99

00:25:10.440 like your iq is too low yeah like it's it's very very low is what i mean like what just came out of 1.00

00:25:16.340 your mouth like you could have said a hundred other things yeah where's the logic where's the

00:25:22.420 critical thinking there never is and so sometimes people will tell me like why don't you ever want

00:25:27.640 to debate these people right uh and someone actually wrote to me recently they said like they took um this

00:25:33.820 like speech and debate course in college and they told me that their professor said in order for there to be

00:25:39.060 a debate over 50 of the room has to agree to the other side if it's overwhelmingly like that's bad

00:25:47.040 then there is no debate there's nothing to talk about right right right so there's no there's no

00:25:50.880 leg to stand on in that sense but it has to be at least 50 of the room has to agree with the opposing

00:25:55.780 side in order for there to be an actual debate yeah for there to be a controversy exactly for there to

00:26:00.980 be conflict at all there has to be an overwhelming amount of people who also who disagree with you

00:26:05.600 but if like the overarching agreement is that this is bad yeah and there's nothing to talk about right

00:26:11.760 and in essence like the same sentiment fat phobia for example is something they love to talk about

00:26:17.340 and they love to stress that it has something to do with health like oh i just care about people's

00:26:22.260 health but see you don't because if you did you would care a lot more about eating disorders you

00:26:27.180 would care about bodybuilding and what it does to their bodies and how unhealthy it is yeah because

00:26:32.280 they're on the other side of the spectrum you would care about unprotected sex you would care 0.96

00:26:35.480 about smoking you would care about vaping you would care about drinking all of which affect your health

00:26:40.020 far more than what someone's eating in their personal life like having a clean space you walk into their

00:26:45.240 apartment and it's like show there is no evidence of health in this at all and that's why i said that's

00:26:51.140 not a concern for health that's a mask to guide your inherent like hatred of fat people and that's you feel

00:27:00.160 that way because you've been taught your whole life that if you look that way you got to hate

00:27:03.240 yourself and yeah you see someone who doesn't hate themselves and you feel short changed yeah like

00:27:08.840 you're like i've been doing this my whole life and people still hate me yeah and i don't have a

00:27:12.660 girlfriend and i'm broke and this person is fat and they love themselves and they're happy why are

00:27:17.680 they allowed to be happy and i'm not exactly so it's a hatred thing and that's why i'm like if you're

00:27:22.400 gonna say it stand behind it stand behind it right right right like i don't care i don't like when

00:27:27.900 they try to mask it as anything else than what it really is so there's there's also the the lack of

00:27:33.460 logic and that yeah there's nothing to talk about there is no no logical reason why you would hate

00:27:39.220 someone who has nothing to do with you yeah there's no logic behind there's no logic behind that a lot

00:27:44.240 of times it also has to do with the families that they grew up in and and the generational trauma

00:27:49.460 and and the hatred that their own parents had for themselves and just being exposed to that

00:27:54.400 and it's heartbreaking yeah it's really heartbreaking because i just i want a world

00:28:00.380 where again going back to what we're talking about earlier where everyone can just show up as their

00:28:04.400 authentic selves and not be punished for it yeah exactly like let people live yeah exist like just

00:28:11.300 for existing what like crazy how it works why do you have to be a hater i don't know i just like that's

00:28:17.040 why i said a hater because some people are like oh i'm a born and bred hater i i think a hater

00:28:21.880 alia actually talked to me about this but she was like a funny hater is like someone who like 0.89

00:28:27.160 doesn't like game of thrones yeah it's like art in some sense like you just like aren't swayed by

00:28:33.360 things that everybody else loves 1000 and she was like when you're a hater who like hates people who 0.98

00:28:38.400 are living their lives openly and freely because you can't do that in yours you're a loser you're a 0.68

00:28:43.320 hater that's a bar that's a word that is she's like that makes you a loser that doesn't make you a 0.99

00:28:49.580 hater i was like that's so true like and it's also so winners don't hate either truly hot people

00:28:56.900 don't hate people don't hate rich people don't hate just people who are happy and content and

00:29:02.060 fulfilled in their lives they don't hate like they don't spend their uplift yeah they don't spend

00:29:06.260 their time doing that or they mind their business that's free too but some people don't utilize

00:29:11.280 that nearly as often as they should okay let's get into these comments so let's do it this first

00:29:16.600 one says that's literally never happened anywhere i've worked before when a woman got hired she 0.88

00:29:21.520 became lead even if she had no idea what the work was well that's just a lie well that's also because

00:29:26.100 women are better leaders yeah but it's also a lie like yeah it's also a lie but also like did she 1.00

00:29:31.420 become a lead even if she had no idea what it was or did you just tell yourself that because you got

00:29:35.580 passed up oh 1000 loser loser okay this next one says it's a fun game hater yeah right i love that

00:29:44.500 this one says we have the same rights but women have more power nowadays and if you disagree you're 1.00

00:29:49.300 biased first of all it's biased i know like what don't use big words if you don't know how to use

00:29:56.460 them facts oh that's my pet peeve i know same same or when they make makeup words or use words that

00:30:02.240 are actually made up like irregardless oh or um conversating yeah it's not a word yeah don't do

00:30:08.720 that we have the same rights but women have more power we don't have the same rights but women do 1.00

00:30:14.220 have more power than they did women have more power than they did like 100 years ago women have you 1.00

00:30:20.040 know a ton of inherent power but at the end of the day i i always think of this example um that i learned

00:30:27.760 in college and it's a reference to the racist society that we exist in and it's it's like a

00:30:36.600 it's like a thought experiment where two people are gambling for 400 years and for 400 years the white

00:30:44.700 it's a white and a black man right the white man has been cheating and keeps winning keeps winning

00:30:49.100 keeps winning 400 years later he says you know what let's actually i'm tired of cheating i'm sorry

00:30:54.620 like i'm the worst yeah but moving forward let's let's have you know an equal playing field and we

00:31:01.040 are going to move forward fair play okay and the and the black man says okay but what about all of

00:31:07.360 your winnings yeah he's like no i keep these yeah but moving forward we're going to play we're going

00:31:13.040 to play fair yeah what people don't understand is that there is generational disadvantages for people

00:31:20.260 who have been oppressed under these structures and so even if like let's just say okay now in the

00:31:26.880 work environment like women are being elevated that's to offset you know the hundreds of literally 1.00

00:31:32.400 exactly and so to to look at things in a vacuum and without the context of the structures that we 0.99

00:31:40.600 exist in is stupid yeah it's just like come on and it's irresponsible on top of that and you also 0.88

00:31:48.500 don't when they say things like that too and i love that example i love examples like that yeah 0.99

00:31:52.800 they don't factor in either the conditioning that it has embedded in everybody that includes men who

00:32:00.280 still think like that yeah so like you may be ready to play fair but that doesn't mean everybody else is

00:32:06.220 ready to play fair exactly and so she is still actively fighting against those who don't believe

00:32:12.240 that they should be playing fair at this point one thousand percent regardless if there's one person who's

00:32:17.280 like it should be fair yeah there's a hundred others who don't believe that and let's just say

00:32:22.800 hypothetically let's just say it is fair yeah i as a woman you have spent your entire life being

00:32:29.220 punished for the things that the other that the man has not been punished for and so we are coming to

00:32:34.700 the playing field equipped differently yeah and so even if the rules are applied completely you know

00:32:41.540 fairly and uniform there's still a disadvantage and and again and maybe it's a feminine characteristic 1.00

00:32:49.000 to assess the context in a way that that men don't but it's just so lazy to think like that well yeah

00:32:55.560 i agree it's also a lack of intelligence i think too like to the same point about okay so you know how

00:33:01.020 misogynistic men are like women can't be leaders because if they're leaders what if they get their

00:33:06.900 period and they get emotional which is just like if you've never a woman just say that that's one 0.98

00:33:11.440 but two also when women are okay so let's just say like the period thing affects everyone exactly the

00:33:18.120 same that's why i'm like you also don't know body chemistry literally at all periods don't sit the

00:33:23.720 same in every single person who has a uterus yeah however let's just say it affected moods it affects 0.64

00:33:29.460 my mood sometimes where i like i feel a little bit more on edge yeah so things rub me the wrong way

00:33:35.020 differently the difference is that because women have been conditioned to prioritize other people's 1.00

00:33:40.580 feelings their entire lives yeah edit women and anyone who doesn't adhere to a straight man a 1.00

00:33:46.820 heterosexual man whatever like women have this like forethought already this empathy yeah it has 0.53

00:33:53.960 grown and fostered and they have and they hold it so dearly yeah so even when i'm being in my most

00:33:59.680 irrational state i have the ability to tell myself i'm being irrational one thousand percent men don't

00:34:05.840 have that like they don't have the self-awareness have you ever seen a man like like a man man get mad

00:34:12.580 like like in a bar like he gets drunk unprovoked yeah unprovoked do you see like you know how they

00:34:18.120 have those jokes where women are like look at me he only listens to me look at me he can't see past his 0.97

00:34:24.040 own rage and it's like something very small that sets him off yeah and nothing can deter him the

00:34:30.140 only thing he sees is violence or red at that point he doesn't have what other women and femmes have 1.00

00:34:36.740 which is like this is me being irrational i should think about the consequences yeah what if i do this

00:34:42.000 what will happen then yeah they don't have that i think there's also no one thousand they don't have

00:34:46.180 that and i think now that i'm thinking about it also has to do with the fact that there

00:34:50.300 is a consequence to being perceived by women or by men as women yeah that doesn't exist for men and

00:34:58.380 so we have to not only think of how am i feeling but also how will the expression of how i'm feeling

00:35:05.200 be received by others exactly and and i think what is self-awareness other than that and because men

00:35:11.440 just don't need to think that exactly they don't yeah ever they they don't know that unless someone

00:35:17.260 like me on tiktok tells you that that's the only way they hear it otherwise because no one in their

00:35:23.400 life is holding them accountable yeah the way that they're constantly constantly holding women and 0.96

00:35:29.300 femmes accountable yeah they one thing about me a man's gonna be in my goddamn business yeah every 1.00

00:35:35.480 second of every day bitch someone's they're gonna be in my business yeah minding business that does 1.00

00:35:40.460 not pay them right i'm never truly alone they're always gonna be there with me yeah no matter what 0.96

00:35:46.220 because that's just what they're conditioned to do and the and the funniest part of all of it is

00:35:50.800 like you're paid and they're not like yeah you are literally hating and taking time out of your

00:35:57.860 it's just it's yeah sometimes one time this guy wrote like well it's just regular hate but he was

00:36:03.880 just writing like how much he didn't like my laugh and then i was like well my laugh pays the bills 0.68

00:36:08.360 i didn't think so bitch okay uh last comment on this video it says maybe you're around the wrong 1.00

00:36:17.820 men there are plenty of men who should make your world who should make your world more amazing than 0.97

00:36:23.440 you could imagine try a nice guy oof it's not a bot comment that can't be real right try a nice guy

00:36:31.280 hey hey ever thought of ever thought of like hanging out with someone nice huh ever thought

00:36:36.000 of that oh my god i can't believe i didn't come up with that on my own where'd you get that from

00:36:41.520 oh my god i should teach a seminar life coach not the plight of the nice guy and it's like never

00:36:48.800 the never the real nice guy that's saying that it's it's the no it's the misogynist under the guise

00:36:56.420 of yeah i'm harmless i'm the nice guy i'll treat you nice but really i feel entitled to your love

00:37:02.080 and i feel entitled to you i'm gonna be nice to you as long as you do what i want and then as soon 0.98

00:37:06.760 as you don't i'm gonna take it off like jekyll and mr hyde and then i'm gonna kill you in an alley 0.99

00:37:11.380 yeah at the end of the day no one is entitled to your time and your energy even if you are the nicest 0.98

00:37:18.840 person in the world right and you can't by punishing someone for not treating you the way

00:37:26.040 that you want to be treated you are just inherently not a nice guy like by definition like you are a

00:37:32.380 transactional like selfish that person yeah well also like if you want to be called nice i'll give

00:37:40.380 you nice but you're not a good person right lots of terrible people can be nice yeah you know what i

00:37:45.000 mean like there's you know how many you met you know how many nice people i've met have that have

00:37:48.520 been the worst people i've ever met in my life so true like and that's why someone said it's more

00:37:53.480 important to be kind than it is to be nice and that's because women and femmes are constantly 1.00

00:37:58.560 expected to be nice yeah like always they have to consistently hold space yeah for men and all of

00:38:05.840 their shortcomings they have to be patient gracious and kind and they have to hold empathy for them and

00:38:11.280 support them and not get mad at them yeah and that's why i'm like don't you think like wow why

00:38:18.200 did i try a nice guy right and most of the time i don't know like the amount of dudes i've met that

00:38:23.720 have actually been like cool very few yeah i've met tons of shit ones though yeah i've met hundreds of

00:38:30.340 terrible men so many and you know i have met so many amazing women and oh my god not like i just i i don't

00:38:39.720 know maybe i just haven't been exposed to a lot of shitty women that's yeah it's no same literally 1.00

00:38:45.280 hardly any of them and if like and if i was exposed to a shitty woman it was um a white woman and she's 1.00

00:38:51.500 racist so there you go like it's okay and so then you're not a good person by definition but 0.70

00:38:57.120 yeah i think like even like that's why i feel sometimes like i don't feel bad but i feel

00:39:02.700 sorry for like pick me's yeah because i always think like you need your girls yeah how you go 0.97

00:39:09.260 through life with no girls with no bitches like that truly you're gonna be like those men 1.00

00:39:15.080 pussy lists forever not me you know i mean you need your girls man like at the end of the day 0.99

00:39:22.220 and i i also think too like that that this whole nice guy thing um is another reason why even when i 0.99

00:39:30.020 first started on tiktok like before i started like ripping the actual spine out of the throat of men

00:39:34.420 i hate i was literally talking like about dating and like my own misfortunes with dating and in the

00:39:41.220 sense that i'd come across terrible men and i'd be mean and then and eat grass and they would just lose

00:39:45.860 their minds yeah and so when i was younger i was a lot meaner i was like i was on hinge when i was

00:39:51.740 younger yeah like when i was in my early 20s because i was so unafraid i wasn't afraid of anything i had

00:39:57.520 no fear which is not a good thing i don't recommend that but i'm also large so it was just one of those

00:40:04.080 things where i was like a terror if men were if men were rude if they were disrespectful

00:40:08.400 it tracks been about this it tracks but when i was younger i used to i never felt bad about getting

00:40:15.200 free drinks i never felt bad for ghosting i never felt bad for saying no i never felt bad for anything

00:40:21.160 like that and i would tell my friends all the time like you don't owe him anything yeah i don't know you 0.98

00:40:26.000 oh my god yes i i had a beautiful girlfriend of mine just like the definition of a bad bitch 1.00

00:40:32.200 she went on a date that was so bad that she's like i just i i don't want to date for a really long time 0.96

00:40:38.380 but i said like my love the fact that you allowed the date to go that long yeah and it was like a

00:40:44.940 two-hour like you should have left five minutes in and and that comes from like this people pleasing

00:40:50.060 exactly wanting and that's not her fault it's not her fault no it's not her fault but i i i think that

00:40:55.600 that's something that should be promoted when you're not having a good time when someone's

00:40:58.600 making you feel uncomfortable when someone's disrespecting you and someone's you're just

00:41:01.920 just not having a good time period yeah you don't owe anyone anything yeah and in fact i would be hurt

00:41:07.840 if someone was sitting across from me and didn't want to be there yeah like don't stay if you don't

00:41:12.840 want to be there in any situation business romantic friendship yeah people should only be in spaces

00:41:18.100 that they desire to be in yeah and to to think that you're doing someone a favor by by enduring

00:41:26.220 it is actually it's backwards like it's up i wouldn't want someone to do that to me when it's

00:41:31.640 not fair to you yeah like it's it's and i think too like with the whole like um buying drinks thing

00:41:38.200 because like men have like really tried to like come for me for saying like i promote free drinks

00:41:43.160 because i do and i still do to this day and i always say you know well first of all you don't

00:41:50.620 like you have to think like why is this man approaching me yeah is it because he saw me and 0.93

00:41:54.840 he was like she looks smart i wonder what her favorite book is no bitch that's not why yeah so 1.00

00:42:00.380 he has he has different intentions than what he acts like he does after the fact right thousand percent 0.87

00:42:06.460 it's like well i just wanted to get to know you no you didn't yeah no you did not then like ask my

00:42:11.120 why yeah it's just that's why i was like do you know how many times in a club i've been like then 0.98

00:42:15.080 what's my name right and they don't remember you know why because they don't give a shit and that's 0.93

00:42:19.220 and that's why i'm like i don't feel bad yeah i don't feel bad not even a little bit like that song 0.97

00:42:23.180 get that bread get that head and leave you offered yeah like i didn't force you to are you expecting

00:42:28.980 something in return if you are say that yeah but you didn't and so i am actually doing you a favor

00:42:34.100 by assuming and giving you the benefit of the doubt that you're a nice person yeah and i don't i assume

00:42:39.660 you're terrible always but i'm gonna get that free drink yeah exactly and that's why i'm always

00:42:43.580 like it's one of those things where you're like you it's all about intention their intentions are

00:42:48.900 never 100 pure if they say that they are like in situations like that if they say that there are

00:42:53.600 they're lying and then that's an even bigger red flag yeah because just be real like why did real

00:42:58.580 why did he come up to you was it to like kiki and get to know you and laugh and make make you laugh

00:43:03.600 and make you feel good right no it was to get something so you want something he wants something

00:43:09.040 even playing field at that point that's what i say that's it that's called making the patriarchy

00:43:13.280 work for you exactly instead of against you which is a good thing so for this guy try a nice guy

00:43:19.660 try these nuts about that okay try these nuts that's incredible okay we'll move on to the next video okay

00:43:27.700 so this one is two women are having a debate on a podcast the first woman is saying we need men

00:43:33.140 because of the male dominated industries like automotive repair electrical power carpentry

00:43:39.880 etc the other woman is arguing that just because men dominate those industries right now doesn't mean 0.91

00:43:45.500 that women can't be great in those fields or that she personally depends on them to survive 1.00

00:43:49.240 for example she can fix her own car right which is tea i love that yeah okay and so this first

00:43:58.060 comment says does her own carpentry mean she made a picture frame once made a picture frame or hung a 0.99

00:44:06.320 picture frame is that what you meant like literally what bitches what what feminine bitch is making 1.00

00:44:12.180 their own picture frames seriously i don't even know how to do that yeah girl what this next one says 0.99

00:44:17.880 fix my own car fix my own car in quotes takes it to the dealership you don't take it to the

00:44:25.920 dealership to get it fixed truly i mean maybe are you guys okay i don't know shit about cars and i 0.87

00:44:31.160 don't and i don't take my shit to the dealership it's the body shop right yeah like like don't you 0.89

00:44:37.760 buy a car at a dealership i mean yeah you could get like your car service if you have a lease but if 0.98

00:44:43.020 you buy a car i don't know no that's why they wouldn't know yeah exactly you don't own your own

00:44:47.500 probably don't yeah this one says the thought of her climbing 120 foot double circuit power line

00:44:54.880 and working on it is by far the funniest thing ever i needed that laugh why would that be funny

00:45:00.500 wouldn't that just be impressive like it's like what yeah a lineman like an electrical lineman they're 0.89

00:45:07.640 gonna send a bitch with no information that's like one of the most dangerous jobs in the world 1.00

00:45:12.300 they're gonna send a girl with no info up that pole and they're gonna be like good luck lady 1.00

00:45:18.780 good luck fixing that without men and and you wouldn't laugh you would literally have your jaw 0.99

00:45:23.960 on the floor and yeah and admire that woman if she's going up there that means she's qualified to 1.00

00:45:29.100 do it like are you guys oh my god your misogynistic jokes don't even make sense they don't even make 0.91

00:45:34.760 sense it's they should okay first of all one of these women is a pygmy um men because of the male 0.99

00:45:41.100 dominating industries like and that other girl has a point just because they dominate them now 1.00

00:45:46.940 doesn't mean that women aren't capable it means that women have been pushed out or excluded for a 0.99

00:45:52.540 long time exactly and at the end of the day there are biological differences between males and females

00:46:00.080 like strength wise or or um you know there's just there's differences yeah and so if there are things

00:46:09.480 that are designed i mean if there are things that the biological advantage will give you a leg up then

00:46:16.560 it makes sense that there are more men in that industry but if there's always going to be anomalies

00:46:22.360 right there's always going to be women that are just as strong or just as capable and my question is

00:46:29.160 why not you know take whoever's capable like why why try to box people out or exclude what's the

00:46:37.860 logic it's just there's no logic it's just power a power exertion i think more than anything i think

00:46:43.900 i i was studying sexual assault in the military while i was in college and it it when in my research it seems

00:46:50.860 like because men are so used to their groups that are exclusively men that even when a woman is who

00:46:59.880 is just as capable comes in it like it makes them feel uncomfortable because it like breaks up like

00:47:04.580 the the bro camaraderie or like they feel like they can't talk about the things that they want to talk

00:47:10.120 about and i just think i don't know i don't know they can't be disgusting i don't know i'm thinking

00:47:15.580 about it though yeah well it's for different reasons yeah it's because they want to be

00:47:20.000 disgusting i'm thinking about if i was like in a female space where i'm used to just being around 1.00

00:47:25.200 women and a guy wants to show up the reason why i don't want him to show up is not because 1.00

00:47:29.300 i i want to be disgusting it's because i don't want him being disgusting exactly it's like i feel unsafe 0.73

00:47:36.320 whatever that may be whether it's emotional or physical well and that's that's like the tea of it all

00:47:42.000 that's the tea of it all it's the the knowledge and the intention behind it it's like women get 1.00

00:47:47.100 upset like for example a lot of women have told me that they feel really uncomfortable going to the 0.98

00:47:52.300 gym yeah which makes sense yeah because have you been to a commercial gym bitch they're awful like 1.00

00:47:57.460 the amount of disgusting people in gyms like and i'm talking men specifically and it's because they 0.98

00:48:03.420 heavily populate them yeah and they like it's almost like dogs where they just pee everywhere and 0.82

00:48:10.080 it's like this is ours and it's just like it's creepy it's weird and it makes them feel unsafe

00:48:14.880 and it's not because they're like oh i'm better than men it's literally because they feel unsafe

00:48:21.160 whether it's emotional physical whatever it may be and can you blame them like yeah can you literally

00:48:27.380 blame them like that's why when when men are up in arms about female only gyms like women and femme 1.00

00:48:33.140 gyms only when men aren't allowed they're like what kind of segregation is right and it's like the 0.98

00:48:39.100 threats are different the reasoning is different yeah it's literally like it's it's exclusionary

00:48:44.480 because you're incapable of being awful like you're incapable of not being terrible yeah and if you 0.68

00:48:51.800 had fixed that a while ago then we wouldn't feel the need to cultivate spaces like that right but women 1.00

00:48:57.180 want to work out too and they want to work out in a space where they don't feel like that all the time

00:49:00.780 or or have fear or anything like that yeah nobody would want that yeah and the thing about exercising is

00:49:07.600 like you have to wear certain things in order to be comfortable and so like there's no escape i can't

00:49:14.500 even i'm not going to work out in baggy clothes yeah and i'm certainly not going to work out in baggy

00:49:19.920 clothes to protect myself exactly like let again let me just be me without feeling unsafe and without

00:49:26.720 feeling punished yeah exactly and it's when it comes to this this video about like heavily populated

00:49:33.860 like when you were talking about um biologically yeah uh that goes both ways okay because a lot of

00:49:40.000 men like to use that and be like well men are just genetically stronger some some men are genetically

00:49:46.800 stronger i can promise you right now there are many men that i am stronger than thousand that i'm faster

00:49:52.680 than that i'm more athletic than that's why i said yeah that's some there's a big asterisk next to that

00:49:59.180 because some men biologically are weaker and smaller than me yeah and i identify as a woman so

00:50:06.360 that's my point like it goes both ways like in the same sense like men are just they always say like

00:50:13.040 men are genetically smarter which is also not true that's just not true that's not true literally at

00:50:17.860 all our brains all come out the same as far as like the way that they're little peanuts when we were

00:50:22.440 born you know i'm saying i mean they grow over time so like that's not true either like i put out this

00:50:28.880 tiktok in the very early days of my of my tiktok career where i said it's funny because it's like

00:50:36.460 the norm to to know that women mature faster than men right yeah and it's interesting that we don't tell

00:50:43.280 men when they're growing up or boys when they're growing up to look up to women as sources of

00:50:50.260 intelligence and and maturity but instead we we tell girls to like it's it's just so backward like 1.00

00:50:59.580 if if it's the biological truth that women are maturing faster than boys like then why shouldn't 0.99

00:51:05.060 they be looked up to as role models yeah and it's it's just it as far as men being genetically more

00:51:12.140 intelligent there's just so much data to negate that i mean look at schools look at the education

00:51:17.520 system well they don't care about that do they they don't care about facts that's why i said

00:51:21.240 there's no point in debating them because they don't care about facts they care about biases they

00:51:26.460 care about prejudice and they care about feeling validated within those biases like they only want

00:51:32.100 to listen to people who agree with them yeah and that's why i said you don't want to debate me you

00:51:36.560 want to argue yeah and those two things are not the same yeah and one of them's a big fat waste of my

00:51:42.180 time actually they both are but so yeah i'm not going to debate you but i'm sure as hell not going

00:51:47.760 to argue with you either like and that's why um that's also it's funny because one time i did this

00:51:53.700 show and uh like it was like a tele like a zoom interview type thing and they had me on and they

00:52:01.260 had these dudes on that they like i i actually ripped to shreds and they said um do you guys want

00:52:07.740 to talk to each other and i said no i got nothing to say to those men and they didn't really want to

00:52:12.200 talk to me either so it kind of worked out right and so i got to watch them be interviewed mind you

00:52:18.040 they're being interviewed by these two men who are one of them's a licensed like psychiatrist and the

00:52:25.320 other one's a licensed therapist and psychologist whatever they're very different but they're both

00:52:29.380 like literally medically licensed um and to work in the medical field and they're explaining to these

00:52:35.520 men the reason why you feel this way is because you're underdeveloped mentally wow they said that

00:52:41.820 to their face wow these are doctors and they're also men so they can't use like yeah she's a woman 0.83

00:52:47.160 right right she's biased literally like one and one was white and one was a white man and one was a

00:52:52.460 black man yeah and they both were saying the same exact thing they were like they call it the caveman

00:52:57.300 theory where it's like you have a caveman brain your brain is still like me man me strong and that's

00:53:03.760 like where you're at he said the older you get the more that hopefully hopefully i hope you get out

00:53:09.060 of that stage and he was saying it's called like a young athlete phase like they think they're on top

00:53:15.420 of the world they're invincible nothing can hurt them they're never gonna die they have this like

00:53:19.600 confidence and arrogance about them which feeds the caveman brain it's like well clearly i'm being

00:53:25.680 validated because nothing bad ever happens to me and no one's ever mean to me blah blah blah and then

00:53:30.260 they come across someone like me and they like short circuit yeah so when i talked to them i like

00:53:35.660 explained to them like it's pretty simple to me why what they said is bad and harmful for whatever

00:53:41.820 reason and the guy told me that he said just out of curiosity how come you didn't want to talk to

00:53:47.100 them and i said because i have nothing to say to them like they're not going to want to have a

00:53:50.860 discussion with me they're not going to listen to me a misogynist inherently believe women are lesser 0.92

00:53:54.820 than not smart and they believe they're superior to them so what makes you think they're going to listen

00:53:59.520 to me yeah when i explained to them hey you shouldn't say things like this they're harmful

00:54:02.940 right and i was like i have nothing to gain out of talking to them so i don't want to

00:54:06.900 yeah and he said that's a sign of emotional maturity and he's all that's also a sign of high

00:54:12.520 intelligence when you pick your battles pick your battles when you're like that's not worth my time

00:54:17.020 yeah because i have nothing to prove to you yeah and so there i was like period debate no i mean

00:54:23.480 debate can be very powerful i competed in collegiate speech and debate and it was like

00:54:29.100 my whole life for for two years and what's really beautiful about proper speech and debate is the

00:54:35.900 fact that you don't choose which side of the debate you have to defend you're given the side of the you're

00:54:40.340 assigned your side of the debate and then you have 30 minutes to prepare yeah and what this does is it

00:54:45.180 forces people to engage with thoughts and beliefs that they don't necessarily agree with yeah and it's a

00:54:51.060 beautiful thing because you have a more even if i like let's say i have to debate that like

00:54:57.880 men are superior to women it strengthens my arguments for why men are not superior to women 0.99

00:55:04.460 because i can identify counter arguments and i can like have a clear picture of like what is

00:55:09.900 what is my opponent's uh thinking and what are they going to come forward with yeah and i really i have

00:55:15.520 this like dream and this belief that i so the problem that you and i face when we were growing

00:55:21.360 up in the education system was access to information yeah but the problem kids have today is too much

00:55:26.880 information and being able to discern between what's good and what's bad yeah and i think if like

00:55:31.080 we implemented speech and debate at a k through 12 level yeah it would be one of the best ways to

00:55:37.280 combat this this very polarized world that we live in because our news feeds our social media feeds

00:55:44.500 they're all echo chambers it's all what you already believe in yeah and something like this would

00:55:49.140 force people to engage with ideas that they don't believe in and just become like more well-rounded

00:55:54.340 more empathetic you have to listen to the other side in order to win like if the objective of the

00:55:58.740 debate is to win yeah you you're forced to to engage with these other ideas and that's where i think

00:56:04.300 debate is productive yeah but if if you're debating just to prove something you already believe

00:56:10.200 it's going to be two ships passing in the night yeah it's like it's not a debate it's

00:56:14.340 not a debate it's an argument it's yelling at each other he said she said yeah it's just a fight at

00:56:19.460 that point there's no logical reasoning uh behind it it's literally just i believe this you don't

00:56:25.220 believe this and that makes me not like you i want to hear myself talk yeah like yeah that's another

00:56:29.900 one too like they they want me to listen in the sense that they want to just be able to scream

00:56:34.820 their point at me exactly no yeah i'm not gonna give you that yeah and there's a power in that too

00:56:40.960 because when i was younger i would fight all the time like all the time like if men wanted to debate 0.64

00:56:47.120 me on literally anything i'd be like suit up bitch let's do it because i was so confrontational 1.00

00:56:52.660 because i'm so convicted in my beliefs which is not necessarily a bad thing but then after a while 0.81

00:56:58.640 i realized that this is me serving them like this doesn't serve me at all like trying to prove like

00:57:05.340 it's such a waste of life yeah to try waste time proving that you deserve to be respected as a human

00:57:12.460 to a man that's never going to feel that way yeah it's a waste of time it's a waste of life that's why

00:57:17.680 i feel so sorry for pick me's because i'm like yeah life is far far far too short it's far to waste it

00:57:25.860 doing that like to to try and please them when you never really will please them like they're never

00:57:30.340 they're never going to be 100 happy with you there's just way more productive ways to to solve

00:57:35.460 these sort of injustices well and i think too like your energy would be best spent uplifting other

00:57:41.380 people within your community or uplifting people that have since converted to your community like

00:57:46.640 it's much more productive to spend your time doing that than it is to fight men who just want to fight

00:57:52.620 they don't they don't want to win they they want to win but they don't want to listen yeah they just

00:57:57.120 want to fight there's no point there's no point i'm too busy too booked and busy both of us are

00:58:01.980 okay so we're coming to the end here obviously we had a very very intellectual conversation with

00:58:10.460 miss dalara miss lawyer legal bad miss legal baddie but what is it that you want i guess like women and 1.00

00:58:17.560 femmes to know especially when it comes to operating in male-dominated spaces trying to thrive in male 1.00

00:58:23.200 dominated spaces yeah what are your like what's your like best piece of advice for them i think it's

00:58:29.320 to resist the urge to conform because that makes the path easier to success i think the only way that

00:58:37.160 we can change the world is by continuously showing up as our authentic selves in order to liberate

00:58:44.280 the the next generation and the people that come after us yeah and sometimes that will feel scary

00:58:50.900 sometimes you'll have to work two three four five times as hard in order to maintain a sense of

00:58:59.380 confidence and in whatever pursuit it is that you are trying to achieve whether that is being a woman

00:59:09.680 in stem whether that whatever it is that you want to do but to just for the world we have to maintain

00:59:17.200 our authenticity so that one day i can walk into a boardroom with my yitties out like just like this

00:59:24.940 and people have to take me just as seriously because they are judging me based off of the merit of what

00:59:30.580 i have to say and not the way that i present yeah and that's the world that i want my children to grow up

00:59:36.820 in yeah that's the world everyone should be able to exist in one where they just feel safe being

00:59:42.620 themselves and that they are not going to be questioned they're not going to be undermined

00:59:46.740 they're not going to be judged simply for leaning into um an appearance or uh in a form of expression

00:59:56.240 that isn't mainstream yeah or what they consider to be appropriate yeah just keep being you because

01:00:02.800 it makes a difference it really does period i love that miss america aka dalara okay so thank you so

01:00:09.820 much for coming on this episode of the comment section i adore you you're the best i love you

01:00:14.240 stan a smart bitch make sure all of you go follow dalara where can everybody follow you can follow me 1.00

01:00:19.820 at legal baddie on tiktok and at dalara on instagram uh just launched a new podcast if you want to tune 0.98

01:00:28.280 in we get into some of the topics we talked about today love and uh it's been a lot of fun i love it

01:00:34.720 so happy congrats on your podcast thank you so much thank you make sure y'all go

01:00:39.800 follow dalara on literally everything she's incredible amazing even more amazing in person

01:00:43.900 than she is online but you could definitely learn something from her uh or you could just admire how

01:00:48.660 hot she is either one it's a win so thank you all for joining us on this episode of the comment

01:00:53.440 section show make sure if you want to watch full episodes of our show oh my god me tripping over my

01:01:00.120 own words like i haven't said this a million times full episodes drop every wednesday on the past your

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01:01:07.940 stream the comment section on all streaming platforms spotify apple podcast amazon you guys

01:01:12.620 know the drill anyways i'll see you next week bye

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01:01:56.640 off camera

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The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - February 22, 2023

BEING A LEGAL BADDIE Ft. Dellara ｜ Drew Afualo ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 54

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