The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

00:00:00.000 Netflix is a turd factory and a lot of people don't know that they're like a media company

00:00:05.320 you know where they produce like television and film it's actually a big shit factory

00:00:11.160 where they pump out huge long turds and they make you and we have to eat those turds and

00:00:17.640 then we have to digest them I would do anything I would eat shit for free but

00:00:22.300 hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show starring me

00:00:31.520 your favorite everybody knows me though on to the guest blah blah blah from me

00:00:35.180 the guest today is the very special the iconic the hilarious the legendary

00:00:39.680 katya zamlochikova yes did I get it yeah uh english american people say zamlochikova

00:00:48.000 yeah and I but I believe russian people say zamlochikova zamlochikova yeah yeah look at me

00:00:52.860 you're so international citizen of the world yeah spy yeah you call me bitch

00:01:00.180 I'm so happy to have you I'm happy to be here honestly you're an icon thank you can I like be

00:01:07.120 so vulnerable with you for a second I wish you would when I was working nine to five like years ago

00:01:13.480 I found because I love drag race and I found your guys a show like uh which is what you're

00:01:19.620 wearing the merch for I yeah and I would watch you when I was at work I would listen to you guys

00:01:23.560 I would time theft bitch time theft truly you stole time from that company listen well merrill

00:01:29.380 lynch them I like work for the u.s government yeah yeah the state department can fuck off they're

00:01:35.900 like what were you I was like a preschool teacher heart surgeon

00:01:40.560 it's like on the top on the clock oh my god listen to you guys I'll rack up really yeah and even now

00:01:46.680 like I know you guys have your show with netflix uh-huh on youtube and I sometimes I'll tell people

00:01:51.680 they'll ask me have you seen this show and I go yeah but when I say that I mean I watched you guys

00:01:56.180 watch it yeah and I feel like I gathered all the information necessary I mean yeah because let me tell

00:02:01.460 about netflix is a turd factory and um a lot of people don't know that they think they're like a

00:02:06.680 media company you know where they produce like uh television and film it's actually a big uh shit

00:02:12.480 factory where they pump out huge long turds and they make you and we have to eat those turds

00:02:18.860 and then we have to digest them I would do anything I would oh I would eat shit for free but

00:02:24.200 but no we have to suffer through some of the stuff they do is great obviously

00:02:28.560 no production company besides hbo is um perfect and uh but they yeah it's we have to watch some

00:02:35.100 trash for three mother hours and they love to watch you do it sometimes they love to pay us to do it

00:02:44.320 often trix and I were like our producers Jennifer the most amazing woman in the world and we're like

00:02:49.440 Jennifer what did we do to you for you to inflict this unbelievable suffering upon us did we

00:02:56.700 did I in a fugue state murder your entire extended family last night because why are we doing this in

00:03:03.300 another life did I do something to you is there generation is there um am I a serial killer like

00:03:08.580 so so it's yeah but I mean it's uh we just did it the other day and uh we watched a show that was

00:03:14.000 incredible at the end of the day but before that I started to think I started to really not dissociate

00:03:22.560 but to really ask myself some hard questions like could I use this coffee cup to kill myself

00:03:28.440 you know like it was really creative it was intense yeah it was intense but you know my lack of

00:03:33.520 gratitude has no boundaries it's unbridled yes but thank you that's a really nice compliment yeah I'm

00:03:41.040 so glad I'm so happy to have you you're unbelievably funny and you're led you've been in the game for a

00:03:46.380 long time you call me old you're saying I'm an old cunt I mean you said it not me I am 40 years old

00:03:53.620 and you don't look a day over 40 yeah well for let's see in two months I will be 41 and let me tell

00:04:00.180 you something as a woman in Hollywood which you are can we please stop talking about age I know

00:04:06.000 how can we stop it it's so terrible like let's who younger is better we want wet do we like we

00:04:14.580 want wet skin does everybody want wet skin every time they say that I think pedo pedo pedo get in

00:04:20.960 that's what we're that's where we're living yeah I think pedo like big big pedo yeah why do you care

00:04:26.040 so much also I I've had to like I just talked about this with with Bob when I had Bob on the show

00:04:31.380 Bob Alaban Bob Hope the one and only yeah Bob Hope I bought a Luigi board brought him back

00:04:37.380 is Bob Hope dead I hope not me not even knowing but I hope not right I hope not

00:04:44.440 is Bob Hope dead I think he's fiercely dead yeah okay well Bob Barker's I don't want to say that

00:04:52.160 that makes me feel better but like I'm glad I didn't assume and he wasn't well people really

00:04:56.600 don't die you know that's true we just shift from veil to veil sorry you just had Bob on and

00:05:03.600 yeah we were talking I don't even remember where I was going with that what was I talking about

00:05:08.500 okay we're talking about age and we're talking about yes yes I was telling because Bob asked

00:05:12.240 me too how old are you and I told him I'm 27 I'm gonna be 28 this year and he was like oh okay and

00:05:17.540 I was telling him how people think I'm younger for some reason like they think I'm like 19 20

00:05:22.600 because you dress like a slut probably yeah probably because I'm a big fat whore

00:05:26.840 um Margo Martindale would like a word and doubt is uh you don't have to be a young to be a big fat

00:05:38.320 slut you age is cunt I was telling him I'd rather them think I was older maybe that's controversial

00:05:46.380 but I almost get offended when they associate me with Gen Z no no like hate to Gen Z oh I just feel

00:05:52.220 like I'm very obviously a millennial well okay the thing is like the the the things that I am tired

00:06:00.080 of are like um you you say your age and then they say oh you you don't look that because if you did

00:06:08.500 how dreadful would that be you know what I mean thank god yeah like that old yeah the first thing

00:06:14.180 we do with um or the first thing that happens when a woman is met is like um oh my god you look

00:06:19.500 amazing you don't look your age that's the only like the most readily available like compliment

00:06:26.200 and I think that is so pitiful it's also very backhanded and it's very nature yeah it's stupid

00:06:33.340 when you do get older yeah mama it's a wrap yeah yeah paper bag that shit I think I'd rather I like

00:06:41.460 would rather be thought to be older well I'm being honest I had so for my 39th birthday I threw a 40th

00:06:46.740 birthday party and at this point it's all I said here's the big four oh I got the balloon the four

00:06:51.580 and the zero and um had a big bash was right as covid was um after the hoax was you know yeah um

00:06:57.480 nearing its end yeah and um and I had a blast and I fooled many close friends and um and I just thought

00:07:04.920 it was fun to like you know I was really trying to soften the blow of turning 40 so I just did it a

00:07:09.720 year early girl that's me projecting yeah but um but it worked it worked you know like Aaliyah said

00:07:16.540 oh I'm not gonna talk about that because then we're gonna get into R. Kelly oh age ain't nothing

00:07:21.300 but a number it is a significant number in some cases yeah statutory it should matter in some cases

00:07:28.020 yeah for sure it should matter I think too with me I'm like I'm a grown man so I'd rather be treated

00:07:34.700 as such you know what I mean I always think like you could treat me like a grown man you could

00:07:38.500 treat me like your dad that's cool okay I prefer that you can have me fix the toilet that's totally

00:07:42.460 fine put the door out take the door off the hinges just play the home depot song I'll walk around

00:07:45.820 what's the home depot song you know it's like that do no no no do do do do it's like man man you know

00:07:51.180 what I mean home depot and I'll just go and I start opening drawers and cabinets just to test them

00:07:57.820 you know what I mean I'll just walk around your house and start doing an inspection you'll put you'll

00:08:02.180 take them in the car and drive somewhere but no no map we'll get there I know how to I don't need to ask

00:08:07.260 I'm a man you look away you look back I have a tool belt you know what I mean walking around

00:08:11.300 you're puttying up holes in the wall yeah you're doing certain things cock you're cocking shit and

00:08:17.900 I don't laugh mama you don't laugh about that because that's c8 yeah thank you

00:08:21.780 you are nuts I think that's why I would prefer them to to see me as my age or older I just don't like

00:08:30.740 I don't really want to be looked at as younger well no I mean I'm you know when I was growing up I

00:08:35.540 from let's see I from as early as I can remember I've always gravitated toward older people like

00:08:40.300 mentors teachers like all my friends were older um and it wasn't until recently that like

00:08:45.680 when I got into drag here in Hollywood Hollywood that um everybody seemed to be younger and I was

00:08:52.980 like oh I'm the old maiden type of person and does that mean that my emotional intelligence has uh

00:08:59.060 been arrested or or is regressing do you know what I mean like and then I started dating or

00:09:05.120 having dalliances with um younger men and and I was like am I a pedophile what's happening so

00:09:11.540 you know now I'm just looking for Jerry Weintraub he's 50 he lives in Boca and he's rich there you go

00:09:17.200 you know yeah I feel that yeah he has multiple properties one in Boca he's definitely yeah he has

00:09:23.020 he's got one oh and like Martha's Vineyard yeah yeah yeah you know for different seasons of the

00:09:28.220 year he's yeah snowbird snowbird I feel that yeah that's nice that's a beautiful it's nice to dream

00:09:33.320 it's nice to have unattainable gold what else gets you out of bed in the morning I don't know oh my god

00:09:40.480 coffee don't talk to me until I've had three liters of coffee injected up my ass

00:09:48.760 that's what people think when they think millennial they think coffee enema yes no they think like

00:09:55.960 the shirt that says like don't it's wine o'clock oh it's five o'clock somewhere yeah one of those

00:10:01.300 you know what I mean it's five o'clock they use the word like doggo unironically oh okay now we're

00:10:06.060 really getting into that that's older millennial but also white so then I think like well anything

00:10:10.040 white people just get rid of them I'll go first I will be I will be I will

00:10:18.680 jump into the volcano first and I have enough influence I think online to definitely encourage

00:10:24.980 some people to follow me I mean come on cracker let's go jump in this volcano that's called the

00:10:30.340 cult yes yeah but I don't I don't want their money I just want them to die just the influence

00:10:37.660 that's more than enough that's worth its win yeah yeah let's talk about these nails oh my nails yeah

00:10:42.340 they're very cinderella yeah you know what I mean cinderella she was scraping the shit out of that

00:10:51.740 house and cleaning with those nails do you think that why there's cinderella in that they when you

00:11:00.820 hold a baby you puncture its skin and then that's in my friends are rats you know what I mean

00:11:05.580 I think so okay but so I'm gonna so like uh another stupid thing that a man would say be like

00:11:13.860 how do you wipe your ass with those I know how that happens because I've worn long nails and if

00:11:19.860 they're acrylicly bonded to the skin they're a part of your body you know what I say I don't you say

00:11:24.980 I shit into my palm and I throw it at the mirror yeah I just say I don't I don't wipe

00:11:30.200 I'm gonna wipe what I haven't gone to the bathroom in six years I don't poop didn't you see me no yeah

00:11:36.480 it comes out of my mouth sorry oh my god I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

00:11:41.320 I'm a big fan of you thank you that's basically the point all right let's talk about Palestine

00:11:47.900 I'm a really big fan heavy hitters only today but today on the show what I want to talk about is

00:11:54.820 being you have a podcast with the wonderful Trixie yeah uh called the bald and the beautiful

00:11:59.980 yeah I do how long have you guys been doing that now uh we have been doing it I think we passed

00:12:04.560 a hundred episodes oh my gosh yeah I think we thought we're gonna do it for maybe like a couple

00:12:09.500 weeks and um and it started as um she wanted to do like a theme I don't think she's ever I don't

00:12:16.360 even think she's aware of the soap the bold and the beautiful um but it's obviously a play on that

00:12:20.900 and um uh and it's like oh we're bald and we could have guests on who could talk about beauty in some

00:12:27.200 some regard you know and um it just kind of started out like that but we quickly realized

00:12:31.260 that we don't like having guests because three is like three's tough it's hard yeah I mean she

00:12:35.560 doesn't listen to me so how are she gonna how are we both gonna like you can't all pull focus

00:12:40.940 no and we really hard one time we had four of us on the pod once and it was utter chaos unlistenable

00:12:46.540 um but so it it quickly devolved into just like um phone conversations that happen to be

00:12:53.180 between friends that are taped and monetized you know but we are bald so that's true that's true

00:12:59.660 and you are beautiful and I think like so like there's a lot of discoloration happening here

00:13:04.360 please ignore that but I shaved it um is weird to ask you to feel the back of my head no okay so go

00:13:10.880 down as long as it's okay let me see wow it's very smooth it's giving cranium oh it is giving it is

00:13:21.160 giving cranium it's giving skull do you see what my hat says as well I can't really read it this

00:13:26.360 stinks a lot bitch yeah is do you tell people to fill your head and then tell them to read your hat

00:13:33.540 there you go you said and that's how I met trixie yeah so we do the um it's a really fun thing um

00:13:41.120 uh you know I don't know it's uh the advertising is um interesting for the podcast yeah yeah because

00:13:51.660 of course that's a that's we make money through ad um you know I mean you know yeah and um I uh she is

00:13:58.060 a diehard capitalist and I am um not exactly that I would say I'm not a hippie I just say I'm like a

00:14:05.960 I definitely lean more towards like uh socialism I would even say like communist anarchy even um you

00:14:14.980 know like uh but but um you know these are prod issues I'm wearing so I'm hypocrite yeah I was

00:14:21.020 gonna say yeah but my underwear cost three dollars and it came from somebody else's house and you know

00:14:26.200 what life's all about balance I mean it's it the balance divine feminine and the divine masculine

00:14:32.760 it is no that's not a joke though I have underwear from like a long time ago I listened to your

00:14:38.880 uh show with uh trixie and y'all talked about underwear for a very long time we did that's

00:14:43.560 because she's a nasty slut she is she came on this set and she corrupted me she is a she is a gutter

00:14:49.960 she is a gutter pig a pit viper she is yeah she's uh she is she is a she came on here with her

00:14:57.920 sinful ways and she seduced me yeah into talking about things I and she caught you in these godless

00:15:04.460 times in state of vulnerability and she turned you she turned you and I can see the devil in your eyes

00:15:09.700 yeah but I like doing a podcast it's um it's a fun way to make money by not doing a lot of work

00:15:18.740 well you were telling me before you love to talk about yourself I do it apparently but as so we're

00:15:26.640 talking about aging um brain damage um the deterioration um of the mental faculties the uh

00:15:34.280 the degeneration of neurological processes that occur yeah I have repeated stories so many times

00:15:43.440 and I think the main our dynamic is best described as like I texted her once I was like

00:15:49.380 oh my god girl we really have told the same six stories over and over do I have dementia she's like

00:15:55.260 um she's like yeah I know girl I think your brain is dying and I'm just too self-centered to notice

00:16:00.560 and I was like you know what that's a true friend that's tea that's a true friend right

00:16:05.660 there it's a true business partner it truly is I think you have to in order to survive

00:16:09.400 that's why like you have to have brain damage in order to survive no you have to like not pay

00:16:14.520 attention one of you needs to not pay attention to the other to stay friends because then she just

00:16:19.120 keeps revisiting all these old stories she'll never get tired of him oh wait it is like dementia

00:16:23.280 it's like hi who are you so it's like the first time every time yeah fall in love every single

00:16:28.740 time yeah you wake up you fall in love all over again it's like groundhog day you know when I

00:16:34.920 when I posted about having an episode with her I said I because I've gotten that comment before

00:16:40.340 on like I think I'm like almost to 70 episodes at this point well it sounds like all these people

00:16:45.520 are sitting around not listening not telling you hey honey they don't give a damn about me anymore

00:16:50.560 they you know what and they let me do it yeah and that's you know what because we're all

00:16:55.600 getting paid at the end of the day so you're gonna sit and listen to these stories which is

00:16:59.020 what I think but I've I've gotten that comment before where they're like I feel like Drew repeats

00:17:03.540 stories and I'm also a Virgo and I know Trixie's a Virgo what are you guess a Scorpio what what are you

00:17:11.560 like water air neither of those things really are you an earth sign no way are you Taurus yes oh my god

00:17:19.720 I love Taurus you do yeah I get along with Taurus is really well um I found it so my um we vibe my uh

00:17:27.100 my witch friend who's like an actual witch and has a great great super encyclopedic um knowledge of

00:17:34.420 all things occult and every in astrology and all everything she um described my astrological profile

00:17:40.520 my chart as a giant army tank careening down a muddy hill but one that could get derailed by a twig

00:17:48.760 and did you say I said T yeah you said oh period yeah I was like period bitch yeah so whenever I

00:17:58.300 have a question about astrology give me Aries energy but I don't know if that's Aries a fire sign

00:18:03.660 I believe so yeah yeah yeah Aries um I yeah I I think I don't know I mean um Aries men especially I feel

00:18:13.160 like excuse me listen Aries people okay as a as a whole yeah I feel like are very um they have

00:18:22.940 these chaotic thoughts and all the time and then sometimes they give in to them oh mama I'm always

00:18:29.640 giving in sometimes scenario yeah that's why it surprised me that you said you were Taurus but you

00:18:35.780 are very I think are you very grounded I am low to the ground and that I'm constantly on the floor

00:18:41.860 looking for shit uh in shit uh covered in shit no I'm like a mud person I um I uh so the the

00:18:49.200 qualities that I know that are typical of Taurians are like um sensual materialistic they uh love

00:18:56.540 the comfort of of home of textures of like sumptuous like um you know like home bodies kind of yeah

00:19:04.040 absolutely I would definitely but you know I mean I think with astrology what if when you said that

00:19:08.800 you just described like someone awesome beautiful yeah I think I'm sexy I think Taurians are known for

00:19:13.880 like um you know insanely high IQs um uh so funny extraordinary social um acumen I mean so funny

00:19:23.340 a pretty naturally gorgeous almost too generous for their own good but somehow selfless and um

00:19:30.080 like beautiful in a way that she doesn't know it yeah you know it's like um it's like Linda Evangelista

00:19:35.460 if she just worked at the bank and she never never pursued modeling because she had no interest

00:19:40.360 but what do I know that's just the stars that's the stars that's the planet I don't have control

00:19:44.440 over that I can't control with the stars no but they're like I love creature comforts and I love um

00:19:48.500 I love like I love like nice stuff but not like expensive stuff just nice quality like the thing you

00:19:55.740 know we're um and we're very like I love to feel the earth no I do I bet you walk around barefoot a lot

00:20:04.560 and I walk I walk on my hands a lot oh like handstands okay I love to do that that's a little

00:20:10.480 nightmarish you think something real with you okay yeah you took that hat off start walking on your

00:20:14.520 hands and your feet mom when you see these veins bulging and this turns into a tomato

00:20:19.300 and then you start running on all fours I may have to kill you we're crap walking like Reagan

00:20:24.640 and the exorcist yeah I mean well so my um my uh I'm gonna call her your witch friend yes my

00:20:33.780 witch friend her name is Vlada and um she told me one day to wear red underwear for good luck

00:20:39.460 okay like panties and I have so I have a red belt red underwear and red socks all the time and red

00:20:46.380 eyes bloodshot diva and you're on your period so red that's why we're I mean that's the real

00:20:54.200 reason that's why your underwear is red yeah yeah well the period is brown it's clotted and it's oh

00:20:58.320 my god old blood chunky old a lot of the I mean if you if a person if you're a person who does

00:21:04.760 menstruate you know that it's not like in the Kotex commercials it's not this like liquid that is

00:21:11.240 just like water it's not like red water it is I feel you sometimes chunky coagulated really

00:21:17.860 fucking heavy it's like mama gravy on Thanksgiving day I wrote that book yeah gravy boat just exploded

00:21:23.940 in my jeans I saw a tweet once that said I just found out when people menstruate they get the shits

00:21:30.980 and that's how I know people with uteruses are the superior gender it's there's not a question about

00:21:38.560 and I you know I know this is so tired and like but if the the script were flipped it's you know

00:21:44.280 people say this all the time it's like you know tampons would be like hung from trees and and there

00:21:48.400 would be two weeks off of work every month and it would be um you know there'd be free bleed

00:21:53.200 Fridays and and like it would just be a whole different scenario if men were had to deal with

00:21:59.040 this yeah sometimes unbearable physical trauma every month oh yeah and it's crazy I mean I've had so

00:22:05.800 many female friends in my life who've had such difficult periods yeah and the shits sometimes

00:22:11.080 you get the shits on your period how about cramps that immobilize you truly that's insane pooping

00:22:17.280 at the same time yeah sometimes sometimes women sit on the toilet shitting their brains out yeah they

00:22:22.180 have like a the hot water bottle like and they're holding on their stomach because you're getting

00:22:25.980 cramps at the same time yeah they're shitting your brains and you got chunky blood flying out of that

00:22:29.440 puss you know what talk about it and then they go to work the next day yeah and then they have a

00:22:34.640 baby and then how about this one my sister dr karetsik um uh she had a baby at uh 37 38 and um

00:22:45.900 her boss she doesn't work for him anymore but asked for a meeting a week after she gave birth

00:22:51.560 a week after she was at yeah where you at hoe

00:22:55.160 he said I know you just had a baby but you're being really selfish he's like why don't we schedule

00:23:00.060 a meeting around your um child's nap time mama that child is that's a seven day old infant

00:23:05.360 the nap schedule is not set eyes not even open yet you know they're like hamsters where their eyes

00:23:10.800 don't open yet it's a wet blob that only screams and shits and pisses nap schedule

00:23:15.940 yeah let me pencil you in right away yeah i talk about pooping a lot on this show it's okay i've

00:23:22.300 shit myself many times and probably will do oh again i've never done that get out of here

00:23:27.740 i've never pooped myself i can tell you that much you've never pooped we have somebody else do it for

00:23:32.580 you i've never shit my pants i'm a virgo oh shit okay well mud people tourists i when i got the

00:23:40.860 gonorrhea shot i'm sorry this is a repeated story but i haven't told it here um the you know i got the

00:23:45.540 gonorrhea shot um for a gonorrhea scare that was not confirmed i just got it preemptive you know

00:23:50.480 gotcha and um that nurse uh certainly did not tell me any um some of the side effects that were

00:23:58.160 very likely to occur she did not advise including loss of the bowel control like not not loss of

00:24:04.560 bowel control but you're gonna shit you're gonna have to shit like immediately yeah so i went it

00:24:09.320 happened like right after you got it or was it kind of like a slow burn uh it was it was um it was

00:24:14.720 uh it was maybe a couple hours after and i certainly was recording a podcast with a friend

00:24:20.360 and um and uh thankfully for some reason i was wearing a speedo underneath my pants very tight

00:24:25.440 one i don't know why um it's a little diaper huh and um it yeah and i um and i started to feel like

00:24:31.300 real ill so i was like oh i gotta go left puked in the middle of the street in the middle of the

00:24:36.640 street broad daylight in west hollywood very embarrassing not drunk and then got to the

00:24:40.900 intersection walking home farted and bam blew shit into that speedo while you're just walking home

00:24:47.800 waiting for the red light blew shit into the speedo it was so damn did you try to like cup it at all

00:24:53.720 or did you just speed walk no i just sat down and i'm like this no it was just really awful

00:25:00.520 but um so don't get gone i would assume so you know try not to get gonorrhea because that shot

00:25:05.540 was also painful really yeah it's really painful yeah i've never never quite never got gonorrhea

00:25:11.460 sounded recent no it was uh about probably four years ago okay so recent enough yeah yeah i mean i

00:25:19.200 have shit my pants um no i haven't i haven't since then yeah because not since then you have a calendar

00:25:27.840 that's like yeah my advent calendar you know like counting the days i but also i don't drink so that

00:25:33.860 i feel like is that's good yeah it helps you avoid those i don't drink alcohol i drink a lot of g

00:25:38.400 do you know about g i i've heard of it i don't know a ton about it i wouldn't say i'm very well versed

00:25:48.880 okay it's really but i have not pooped myself not yet anyway never say 27 years never pooped

00:25:55.380 not myself not in my pants i never shit in my pants okay i get it i got it you think you're

00:26:01.180 trying to say is i'm better than you yeah well that's we all have our strengths yeah i'm an old

00:26:05.780 cunt who shits her pants maybe that's the age yeah something to look forward to for me i guess yeah

00:26:12.700 yeah yeah just you wait i have had like moments though in the in the bathroom where you start like

00:26:19.000 reasoning with a higher power you know what i mean you start shitting yourself so bad that you're like

00:26:24.340 what did i do yeah what is the karmic comeuppance that i am currently suffering through right now

00:26:31.920 i'm certainly paying the piper right now and i don't know exactly what i did to deserve this but

00:26:35.220 if you make it stop maybe i'll go to church so you have pled with god to relieve you of i have like

00:26:40.800 that i can confidently say you know i used to get cramps when i was in um high school and i remember

00:26:45.320 like gas gas like it turned out to be gas or something yeah and it was like i used to like

00:26:51.580 bolt i'd be bowled over on the floor at 6 a.m in the bathroom one bathroom with five people

00:26:55.880 oh man and um and just like praying for god to just take my digestive system away

00:27:01.820 just please just put a fish tank in there or something it was just horrible

00:27:07.060 yeah it is pretty bad intestinal trauma is no joke

00:27:09.620 i'm like and this is sponsored by and it's medicine colostomy bags

00:27:13.980 wait what about ozempic do you know about ozempic yeah did you read that blurb about every gay at

00:27:21.400 caa is currently blowing up the bathrooms because they're getting those shots like it's going out

00:27:27.160 of style yeah yes honey creative artists creative artist agency gays are blowing up the bathrooms

00:27:36.080 remiss because they haven't discovered adderall apparently oh my god i have heard about ozempic i

00:27:44.940 have about the new diet trend it's um almond mom stuff have you seen that no what's that with

00:27:52.040 gwyneth paltrow oh mama let's get into it oh my gosh let's get the original orthorexia they were

00:27:56.880 calling her an almond mom because why well they describe almond moms as the moms who like they'll

00:28:02.720 be like oh i'm starving and then they have a almond and then they're like are you not stuffed from that

00:28:07.660 apricot we had earlier yeah honey we just smelled a bunch of cotton candy are you not you're still

00:28:13.080 hungry two baby bells and you're starving still we just passed a burger king you're not you're still

00:28:19.400 hungry no um so uh she was some people have of course this is not like a thing you do but people

00:28:26.280 are talking about this she has orthorexia which is like is that from the long haul covid stuff uh no

00:28:31.700 well so yeah so there's a whole there's i mean listen we don't know her whatever we're just being

00:28:37.280 assholes but um what she describes and but the thing is because she's a wellness guru who make who

00:28:44.320 a million dollar business i know that is predicated on her lifestyle and wellness wellness is it's

00:28:51.660 just disguised by phobia to be honest oh it is a it's veiled it is a sham it is charlatan city

00:29:00.300 you know run by um sham it's just crazy anyways but um because i come from the yoga world i was like

00:29:08.360 trained as a yoga teacher in boston i know all this the wellness stuff yeah but anyways she's uh

00:29:14.240 orthorexia is like when it's a eating disorder where you're obsessed with healthy eating

00:29:18.060 dietary restrictions counting right yeah yeah and it often materializes in malnutrition

00:29:23.020 yeah because you're like you're hyper fixated hyper fixated and um you know she as uh that whole

00:29:30.120 thing is like well she was having a conversation with a doctor i was like yeah but you were doing

00:29:32.900 it publicly bitch i know like well you know what you're saying and you know you have a platform so

00:29:37.440 it's like the harm that it ripples out yeah should be something you consider but i don't think you

00:29:42.160 care enough about that so well because in like i for example would never call myself a role model

00:29:46.780 i think the fuck she does because she's also because it's goop yeah that's like her whole

00:29:52.980 brand she's selling a whole lifestyle you know branding so gwyneth um if you're listening

00:29:57.820 i'm glad you got off from um uh crashing into that elderly man skiing bitch but um i forgot about

00:30:05.340 that uh-huh but in the in the trial she was definitely giving uh fay done away which is

00:30:11.640 really exciting because i hope that she merges into that kind of character just eschew the whole

00:30:17.440 wellness thing and become a cunt you know drown people in your sauna in the basement there you go

00:30:23.880 there you go there you go that's the only way to go out at this point you got one of two options

00:30:28.340 yeah that being said i do love gwyneth paltrow and i wish the best for her and if we ever have an

00:30:32.880 opportunity to work together in the future i'd be happy to do that just tell her that wasn't me

00:30:37.940 that was brian i don't know her exactly i don't know that i don't know that bitch she's such a

00:30:43.020 bitch huh i know yeah okay so we're talking about being bald and beautiful yes yes yes that's what

00:30:50.500 we're talking about today so for those of you who don't know here on the comment section what we like

00:30:54.100 to do is i bring videos that are applicable to our topic today and then we kiki laugh about them

00:30:58.600 talk about them whatever all the fun things there you go so this first one is i just described them

00:31:06.920 so this bald man wearing a suit who describes himself as a coach and his username is talking

00:31:13.120 to the camera and telling men that he gets laid even more now that he is bald he says being

00:31:18.640 completely bald is sexy but balding is not and basically just keeps talking about how much

00:31:24.260 pussy he gets now oh okay he's drowning in it apparently okay because he's because of his

00:31:28.760 bald head of course so what are your initial thoughts um you know i can't i can't speak to

00:31:36.700 the experience of drowning in pussy per se um but um i do i i think maybe i would say that maybe he's

00:31:46.460 swinging and he's taking the pendulum into the opposite direction because there's such an incredible

00:31:50.700 i mean i what i've observed just in the last like four or five years yeah it's the most intense

00:31:56.520 intense fear and shame for men about being bald to the point where every single mother i know has

00:32:04.760 gone to turkey to get the transplant oh yeah oh yeah like mama rupaul has this uh a euphemism for

00:32:11.440 dying say you know so and so has left for paris and um i say well she gone to turkey it's like this

00:32:17.960 she had a she had a layover in turkey yeah she oh she did you hear she went to turkey and um and uh

00:32:23.780 they go to get the hairline surgery and um also maybe to fix the grill they do a bogo two for

00:32:29.540 whatever oh yeah two birds one stone it's very cheap in turkey and they specialize it in istanbul

00:32:34.280 yeah in any case but i i just like i've never had good hair so in my my mother i've inherited most of

00:32:42.060 my mother's uh side of traits which is thin shitty hair because my dad's side has thick huge

00:32:47.300 heads giant jaws balding especially in men is inherited through their maternal side yeah so

00:32:53.700 that bitch yeah so if you're bald or balding it's your mom's fault yeah pat you know what

00:32:59.460 you're gonna pay for my next wig no um no but she has had she's had uh she has thin hair her

00:33:05.200 sister has thin hair and you know uh their her father went bald very early and it's um guess what

00:33:11.080 you can't fight the moonlight bitch yeah take a page out of leanne rhymes book i say go go where the

00:33:16.160 wind takes you at that point and where's the wind taking you to turkey to baldness yeah yeah so but

00:33:21.500 so but like the balding versus bald like when you you have to be real it's like you look in the mirror

00:33:28.220 and you say all right i'm 24 and my hairline is um has significantly receded to the point where

00:33:35.340 you know it's it's it's going way back it's it's running away from my eyebrows yeah and i've and

00:33:41.960 there's a patch up here what are the options yeah these are the options you can uh go to turkey

00:33:50.140 yeah try that not guaranteed or you can shave that that's what i'm saying and then save yourself

00:33:55.400 thousands of dollars in barber and salon fees yeah do it from the comfort of your own home

00:34:00.500 be your own boss suck a dick you know like you can there it's just so simplified life is so so

00:34:07.920 simplified once you just shave it bald put some lipstick on yeah lashes get a sex change no no

00:34:15.000 put on some thigh high boots yeah latex hit the stroll and make some money i get to work yeah get to

00:34:22.640 hollywood boulevard claim your your your corner you just i think you can have your real drama moment

00:34:30.020 like you could play the most dramatic terrifying symphony turn all the lights off stare in the

00:34:36.540 mirror shave your head bald night on bald mountain musorski the night on bald mountain there you go

00:34:41.620 yeah yeah you know yeah just shave it bald slowly and terrifyingly crying menacing tears tears like

00:34:50.540 ugly crying and then after you do that put lipstick on lipstick still cry it has to be all live streams

00:34:57.260 yeah or else it's for nothing gotta go on tiktok live and do it yeah collect the bag yeah and then

00:35:04.260 get the bag and then go to yeah i mean i going to turkey was so i mean i'm not joking every drag racer i

00:35:09.540 knew i know besides me and trixie honestly i think has gone to turkey um i'm not gonna shout i'm not

00:35:16.000 gonna call them out i not that they're ashamed i don't know but some people have um my my trainer

00:35:21.200 went to turkey and i think he like was public about it so that they could pay for it you know yeah it's

00:35:25.960 like that which is great but i mean i don't give a f**k it's black mirror shit ever huh the most what

00:35:31.520 the most black mirror shit ever is like posting at your like aesthetics place to get free filler or

00:35:39.600 whatever or um botox i'm like work bitch yeah it's it's i think i i'm gonna say i'm gonna so better i

00:35:45.160 tried to i think i i definitely considered doing it many times because i just got botox yesterday and

00:35:50.020 bitch that bill was ridiculous it's expensive yeah but it all depends like i mean i've gone

00:35:55.660 i've had you know off-label botox and from people who may or may not have any experience with medical

00:36:03.120 science allegedly you know um and it's very cheap um or you could go to the med spa on cienega and

00:36:10.300 kind of you know get a real a great nurse who is very qualified and then you pay an arm and a leg

00:36:15.740 but yeah but it's worth it at that point i feel like i think too i've talked about it like my

00:36:20.760 family and i we call it going power bald oh what's that like when you start thinning yeah shave it

00:36:26.060 then you're like doc professor x like power ball but your professor x vin diesel the rock bruce willis

00:36:32.480 um uh the the blue guy from watchmen you are um the blue man group the mama the blue man group

00:36:41.260 they're also bald they're so talented jody turner smith not necessarily bald but clipped yeah

00:36:49.160 there's a power in the agency of it i'd say absolutely it's it's not it's i think that's

00:36:54.800 what bothers me it's the it's the desperation the sadness in the in the the clinging to the

00:37:00.120 youth of it all yeah it's like um the inability to accept the reality of the situation and it's a

00:37:07.640 defeated desperate kind of pathetic attitude and like yeah also it's like girl get a grip also for

00:37:14.740 me buddhist monks are always been a um not only a spiritual but a sexual ideal gotcha mama so if i

00:37:22.020 see the monks on the street they better watch out and i do see them on the street you see them in

00:37:27.760 those beautiful orange robes there you go with them bald ass heads and i say well my boyfriend my

00:37:35.060 boyfriend has really long hair right now like his hair's like as long as mine what the um and i'm

00:37:40.880 we're polynesian so like oh i'm sorry well polynesian men have really long hair and that's like a thing

00:37:47.480 it's it's like a beautiful thing because we're indigenous so we we take a lot of pride in our

00:37:52.100 hair like long hair especially men so he's told me he's like if i start balding i'm shaving it

00:37:57.180 immediately power bald growing out the beard oh love that i'm committing different hair yeah we just

00:38:01.540 we're going different directions yeah just switching well my best i was in my best my best

00:38:05.180 friend and my i share a studio with um this amazing artist um named andrew and he has

00:38:09.660 there's andrew and then there's his hair it's two two distinct and powerful unstoppable entities

00:38:18.720 interesting his hair is we went to italy and on one day three different people said he looked like

00:38:25.020 brad pitt from like legends of the fall and he's half chinese so like i mean his hair is a is uh they

00:38:32.600 were just gassing his head up his hair is just we are we are totally polar opposites his hair is a

00:38:39.160 force of nature so like luscious locks like fabio on the cover of romance novels long you know he does

00:38:45.860 different he has his friend color it balayage and all this stuff that's what my boyfriend has too oh

00:38:51.520 yeah it is sickening it is absolutely it's gorgeous it's gorgeous and it's such a production

00:38:58.880 and a drama in a in a story that unfolds every day like when people call him he has to be facing

00:39:04.420 away from them so he can oh honey someone literally said to him at a party andrew it was so nice to see

00:39:09.960 you in your hair tonight what if it has a mind of its own now i don't doubt that it does like it's

00:39:16.660 living yeah his shoulder kind of thing every once in a while i like to ask him i was like who would

00:39:20.660 you do if you woke up and somebody had clipped all your hair off and that somebody was me and

00:39:24.140 i was standing over and he's like i don't even think he doesn't even think it's funny

00:39:27.580 have you seen tangled no okay i was gonna say the tangle obviously it's rapunzel she's got the

00:39:35.960 long luscious hair and then there's mother gothel who's the evil old witch does she sniff it and try

00:39:40.760 to sell it for tracks no she sings to it and it makes her young and i was like did you see that and

00:39:46.540 say it's nice to see yourself represented in media oh my god that's you that's seriously well can i

00:39:51.820 tell you something that's a little bit weird and i won't go on too long about it sure so i had a

00:39:55.440 psychedelic experience recently oh where um i was i entered into this realm where it was sort of a

00:40:02.540 kaleidoscope of women not from earth not quite old not quite young who all had long silver hair but

00:40:10.260 not gold i mean not um gray silver like made out of the metal long long long silver hair and they

00:40:16.640 invited me to enter their hair and this happened right as i after i learned that the topic of this

00:40:23.820 was going to be bald and i said i went in there i dived into this like this infinity pool of long

00:40:30.720 silver like witch hair and i said thank you

00:40:34.320 that's the end of that story hello

00:40:40.680 that's how you gotta watch tangled now that's you yeah is that a disney yeah she's like an old

00:40:47.460 old witch like old hag is that the girl who's red hair red hair no no she has long blonde hair

00:40:53.260 oh yes but then at the end of the movie what's the moral what's the moral well i guess it's just like

00:40:59.040 disobeying your parents and finding your real parents because she's like kidnapped and raised

00:41:04.580 to believe that that is her mom but it's not and she's keeping her hostage in that tower because she

00:41:09.640 wants the hair oh it's rapunzel yeah so she brushes it and sings to it it keeps her young

00:41:13.380 wow so then she meets she sneaks out blah blah meets a handsome guy of course they go back and then

00:41:19.080 she's trying to capture her for her hair and he cuts it off at the end so she just crumbles into ash

00:41:25.360 like she literally like disintegrates into ash the old lady but when he cuts it he doesn't even

00:41:30.020 give her a good cut oh my god he chops it no layers at the back yeah oh my god bitch he gave her like

00:41:36.920 um john and k plus eight special the goslin yeah spiky spiky at the back bang in the front oh man

00:41:45.880 and i just thought does he really love you because why did he cut it like that why didn't he get a

00:41:50.340 professional why didn't give it else as soon up in here i just think like move it down a little

00:41:54.360 you know what i'm saying yeah texturize it you know razor cut yeah also put it take your time

00:42:01.100 damn i mean when i learned like because i worked at a wig store for many years

00:42:05.860 and um well before before i started doing drag and i as a white person i was um blithely unaware

00:42:11.940 of the fact that um many uh black folks and um people of color wore wigs every day you know

00:42:18.340 they just wore wigs every day yeah um and i had no idea um because when i where i grew up in the

00:42:23.060 white suburbs of massachusetts i've never met a person who wore a wig yeah and i was just fascinating

00:42:28.640 and um then i learned about like you know how a lot of this hair weave hair like the human hair

00:42:34.540 weave hair was sourced and um it's pretty wild yeah slavic bundles yeah slavic bundles you know

00:42:43.720 when i started working with my hair makeup artist now like he wigs me sometimes like he wigs me down

00:42:50.360 like sometimes but when he first put a wig on me he was like messing with it and he was like

00:42:55.500 i just it looks so awful and i can't figure out why and i was like i think it's because i have a

00:43:00.700 widow's pee so my hairline's like a heart shave okay so when he put it all the way to the front

00:43:05.880 it was teresa judice yeah it just looks it looks very wiggy yeah like it's fall yeah it's very clearly

00:43:13.140 a wig and so now he like puts them halfway back on my head yeah yeah so my real hairline's out yeah i mean

00:43:18.900 that's the way a lot of people do it it's a lot um this pop star in a the ukrainian pop star that i

00:43:23.720 adore usually does that and um it's like you just i don't know most people though i mean i think most

00:43:29.500 people who don't wear wigs and especially i especially i would say especially white people

00:43:33.680 they don't know nothing about wig technology or the magic of hair hairography and stuff yeah like

00:43:38.400 i went to the oscars recently like you did yes bitch i went to the oscars the academy award yeah i

00:43:45.260 hosted the carpet for the academy like the academy hired me to host for them for their tiktok

00:43:50.520 so that was like a whole gig and a half like it was crazy the whole experience when i went though

00:43:57.900 you know the outfit like who did you talk to that you love the most probably the rock because he

00:44:04.040 remembered me i met him back in october i hosted his red carpet premiere for black adam like his movie

00:44:10.340 i just watched that yeah and he remembered me it's very camp i actually you know i didn't hate it

00:44:16.480 that's what i'm saying it's very camp like i'm like it's fun it's it's a good time it is exactly

00:44:20.980 what i thought it would be yeah you know i thought it was going to be pure hot trash and i i was i liked

00:44:26.480 it anyway so it's fun yeah so him i met like who else did i talk to julia brothers no i did meet jamie

00:44:34.020 lee curtis to talk to her you did yeah she's so cool and so intimidating really yeah like i was

00:44:41.740 just telling my sister this on the i have a podcast with my sister too but i like when you talk to jamie

00:44:47.500 lee curtis she listens to you as if what you're saying is the stupidest thing she's ever heard

00:44:52.420 yeah she listens to me like this but the whole time i was talking she's like that's amazing yeah

00:45:00.400 yeah she was like this and then i was like i thought what i said offended her but then she was

00:45:05.840 like she was just taking time to think and she took like 30 seconds and grimacing while doing that yeah

00:45:10.520 and then and then she answered me very honestly and she was like that's a great question and then

00:45:14.140 she moved on and i was like oh you want to hear some realty please no no i won't say who it was

00:45:19.400 you have to off camera i'll tell you off camera um but a certain a-list celebrity

00:45:24.280 was walking the carpet i'm like i'm nutting right now oh my god i have to hide my bone

00:45:28.580 and you know like at those huge carpets they scream yeah they're like like if it's like julia

00:45:37.580 like yeah like julia roberts is walking they're like julia julia julia julia julia julia it gets more

00:45:43.680 and more frantic as they walk because if they don't get your attention they won't stop right so

00:45:48.940 everyone um this person is walking she's huge um and everyone's screaming her name just in like a

00:45:54.540 huge a-list celebrity so she says everyone's screaming her name and she stops for one guy

00:45:59.800 right and she's like oh hi you got one chance one question for that bitch one he goes because the

00:46:07.440 carpet mind you was not red this year it was champagne and so he goes what do you think of the

00:46:14.080 color of the carpet she goes like this she looks him in the eyes bitch she goes what a ridiculous

00:46:21.080 thing to ask me of all the things you could have asked me i don't know it's tan turned and left

00:46:26.460 that woman michelle obama

00:46:31.540 the way i was like i mean i think that's i think that's a perfectly i don't think that's

00:46:38.040 cunty at all it was hilarious i have never if if she read me down like that i'm laying in the

00:46:44.620 middle of hollywood boulevard i'd be like i'll be right back hold on i just have to douse myself

00:46:48.060 in gasoline and light a match i'll be right back and then i go and i like pretend to pull a gun so

00:46:53.260 that the police open fire on me you know what i'm saying like i'm not making it through i wish it

00:46:58.900 was helen mirren because i saw her after i saw i walked by her at a hotel in beverly hills

00:47:04.820 after i think must have been the golden globes and um she was we you know walking down a hall

00:47:11.740 past her and in the i don't know eight to ten seconds that i realized it was her and noticed her

00:47:17.380 the the what i perceived from her body language and her facial expression was that not only would

00:47:25.320 she strangle with strangle me with my own entrails but that she would use them to string me up in um from

00:47:31.440 the hollywood sign and then shoot at my corpse with a baby gun and then take credit for it she was so

00:47:37.520 scary yeah i just probably hung over well even even the person the person that did that like the lady

00:47:44.680 that did that jennifer lopez not even i don't even think she was there um she said it in a way that

00:47:50.600 was like so like what yeah why are you wasting my fucking time which almost made it worse like she

00:47:56.480 wasn't trying to be mean which almost made it worse because that means she meant it yeah you know

00:48:00.620 what i mean like she felt that shit and she turned and she left nothing else to say diva yeah i'm

00:48:06.460 killing myself what about hugh grant did you see that i saw the interview what did you think

00:48:10.100 i think you get two tries with me if they're clearly not into it wrap it up and see you later

00:48:16.520 yeah it was um who was what was her name ashley graham um i think that what i i mean i don't know

00:48:23.220 i felt bad for her honestly he was giving her the hardest i was it was so hard for me i felt

00:48:27.840 such empathy for her yeah i was like and it's hard like as a host it's it's hard like when they're not

00:48:33.340 giving you much it's really hard like that's why i said you get two tries if you you give me two duds

00:48:38.720 yeah i'm saying you know i have a great night thank you so much that's it i was like mama please what

00:48:43.020 are you doing like save yourself save yourself you know you know and i empathize too because when you

00:48:47.660 do lives like that they put earpieces in your ears so they talk to you the whole time so like

00:48:52.360 they could have been telling her keep going absolutely absolutely absolutely it's just like

00:48:57.340 a losing battle yeah and i was like i was like hugh grant this is not i mean just don't go

00:49:06.800 or like why don't you exercise your hollywood acting chops to fake being polite you stupid british

00:49:16.520 cunt i saw some people saying too like oh that's just british humor no no no we're in america he didn't

00:49:21.980 laugh we're in america he didn't laugh once british humor that wasn't british humor is funny

00:49:26.700 that was being a british cunt that was him being like who he is he was him being honest we don't

00:49:32.200 want that we don't want the real you this is a champagne carpet you know what i mean like

00:49:36.720 then you should have asked him what do you think of the color of the carpet what if it just turned

00:49:39.720 180'd him yeah i'm so glad you asked me about the carpet yeah oh my god it's a actually it's a

00:49:45.240 moroccan berber and it was um hand dyed by um this check family and he was like oh i wish people i

00:49:52.000 wish more people asked me about the carpet don't get me sorry about the drapes oh my god the drapes

00:49:55.460 inside that would be that would be funny that would be so funny i've been on red carpets a few times

00:50:01.640 like the streamies but like you know it's um we were i was ushered through the the um mtv

00:50:07.520 movie awards maybe once but they're rotten and but if you are a if you are a megawatt a-list celebrity

00:50:14.960 just tap into your obvious huge reservoir of narcissism for a moment get a ladle scoop out

00:50:23.660 some self-love pour it on your nasty head and just revel in the fact that every single person wants to

00:50:30.960 know anything you have to say anything at all it is crazy like it's the ecosystem of

00:50:37.380 like red carpets is something that you cannot really like you could do your best to describe

00:50:42.700 to someone but being in it is crazy like no it's missing it it's chaotic but guess what

00:50:46.680 these these veteran people have been in every conceivable scenario yeah you know what i mean

00:50:53.080 they're they're they've been working they've done everything yeah literally everything good

00:50:57.900 and evil yeah so like they're not they're not brand new and they're not um you know so i just have

00:51:02.680 no sympathy for just don't go yeah just don't yeah you don't have to do the red carpet

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00:52:06.520 speaking of carpets too like since obviously like this is like i've i've walked a few carpets now so i

00:52:11.860 feel like i kind of got a feel for it a little bit but like every experience is a little bit different

00:52:16.620 than the last but there's like this so because i'm like an online clown um they they have uh they

00:52:24.760 literally call it like below the line talent right so it's like it's like a list a list a list celebrities

00:52:31.660 like your julie roberts julie robbins meg the stallions your ariana grandes and then below that

00:52:37.640 is every other dickhead on the internet every other sewer rat started up above ground other clowns yeah

00:52:44.140 yeah and so i remember i walked up billboard and they send you you know they send you like oh this is

00:52:49.020 what time carpet opens this is what time you walk whatever when i did billboard they were like um you

00:52:53.560 guys walk at this time real talent walks at this time mind you we're in vegas in the summer i walk

00:53:01.080 at 12 p.m bitch outside this whole time i'm thinking oh we'll be indoors because it's you know 200

00:53:07.820 degrees and i'm a sweaty ass bitch what are you talking to so we go and i'm like oh it's outdoors

00:53:14.660 love love love love love it's outdoors and they have nothing but white lights and a black carpet

00:53:20.300 i think i'm gonna cry so it's 275 degrees outside and then they have all these lights and they're

00:53:26.900 trying to take pictures of you and i was like i know kylie jenner doesn't walk at this time i know

00:53:31.920 that for a fact and then i reread the thing and it says real talent walks at six you know in the

00:53:35.660 sunsets i was like oh perfect yeah in the desert you know when it draws about 30 degrees yeah oh work

00:53:40.600 bitch love love love love love so and i wore a chain metal dress so that was nice yeah can i one

00:53:46.980 up you yeah okay so i invented sweating and um and the front lines yeah yeah yeah um uh hyperhidrosis

00:53:54.940 was a term that was coined from after they studied you yeah when i started doing drag um i did uh a

00:54:02.120 makeup event in las vegas outdoors in drag um at around um you know 20 30 photo shoot for a makeup

00:54:11.720 company and i had made the unfortunate decision to i don't know take a few pills

00:54:18.280 pep pills if you know what i'm saying yeah um to add insult to injury and i this was supposed to be

00:54:25.500 this was do those make you sweat more oh mama yeah kind of like when you drink they ratchet up the

00:54:31.100 tension yeah when i when i drink i get even hotter so yeah yeah yeah it's like i mean in fact

00:54:36.140 anything that's a stimulant is gonna like yeah and and with when i am free of any kind of stimulant

00:54:42.500 it's still water it's kevin costar water world and i was like it's just so insane like the the so

00:54:50.080 nowadays like like what you described i would say thank you so much for this opportunity i will be

00:54:57.060 staying in a hotel room with the ac on you know like it's just not gonna happen it's just so crazy

00:55:01.720 it's really yeah and i feel like i feel like i've seen you and trixie talk about that before where

00:55:06.060 you're like if there's no air i'm not going we have our podcast is now an hvac podcast it's all about

00:55:10.940 air conditioning like it's i mean it's been the the most consistent struggle in my career um because i

00:55:17.220 came before drag race i came from a bar that just didn't believe in air conditioning no not only did

00:55:23.840 they not believe in it they it was a it was hard to be convinced that it wasn't a vendetta against us

00:55:30.340 because it felt personal yeah it was felt pointed personal and very um combative because we would i'd

00:55:37.020 have to uh shorten my numbers on stage because at a certain point it was a cabaret setup and we were

00:55:42.440 very close to people sometimes sitting on them you know and i had to leave because i was scaring people

00:55:47.660 and because it was like she was so good but she was so she was so good but but um i don't understand

00:55:53.760 why she had jumped in a pool before she came on stage um you know it was so it was like that's

00:55:59.500 that kind of took me out of the fantasy yeah yeah that's been my whole struggle and it's um

00:56:03.280 you know it's just sweating it sucks i've never been to europe but i hear they don't have air mama

00:56:08.500 that rotted ass uk the country that ruined the whole world you know britney broski yeah okay she said

00:56:16.300 she once when she came back from europe recently i remember she had posted she goes i had so much

00:56:20.740 fun but get air conditioning immediately mama what's wrong with you well in their 13th century

00:56:25.460 castles it's hard to get a good plumber and a hvac specialist an air con yeah the i well there's a

00:56:31.480 whole list i mean i could talk about sweating for probably three days straight um but there's a

00:56:35.360 there was a gig at the dragon in dublin at a nightclub and i remember it was the same in ireland too

00:56:41.000 with air it's it's the that whole island that cursed island well that's so that it was ireland

00:56:47.640 northern ireland and scott i'd say the whole uk plus ireland it's just rotten to the core when it

00:56:54.240 comes to um air con and the yeah the dragon in dublin and i walked in and as i approached the stage

00:57:01.600 for my number i was like i don't i don't think that i don't think that i don't think it's possible

00:57:08.220 because it was i could feel the moisture i could feel the wetness start to drip you know like you

00:57:14.600 know you're getting dewy you're getting shiny you're hot yeah but when you are in doing bikram yoga

00:57:19.540 in a snow suit like that's the feeling it was it was so unbelievable it's unbelievable yeah it's so

00:57:27.940 crazy it's horrible that's like yeah that sounds so absolutely rotted that's honestly why i'm like

00:57:33.800 if i go i should go during not the summer because i can't stand someplace with no air trixie and i

00:57:39.560 performed in germany in the winter outside in a tent it was it was transcendent our dancers

00:57:46.700 almost broke all their bones because they were like you know having to leap and stuff and then we

00:57:52.220 were just like oh it feels good out today i could count on one hand the times i've left a stage

00:57:57.380 without having perspired a drop and it's that is when i know that god is real you know you felt

00:58:03.080 him in that in that stage in that tent tonight i felt jesus so fiercely in every pore of my body and

00:58:07.880 i said i love you jesus thank you i feel what i was gonna say about carpets too is like oh my god

00:58:15.240 oh please tell me i am really into carpets no i'm talking about red carpets oh what were you

00:58:23.240 gonna say about actual carpets rugs runners i do love a rug do you yeah yeah i have quite a few in

00:58:29.720 my house you do yeah absolutely where'd you get them from a number of places in la living spaces

00:58:36.080 stores in la do you order them online i've ordered some online yeah

00:58:39.940 let's talk about back to red carpet sorry i was gonna say i don't know if this ever happened to you

00:58:47.120 but this is for sure happened to me um when i walk a carpet and it's like something i'm late i'm

00:58:54.020 always late like if i say i'm gonna be there add two hours they'll shut you out be late they will

00:58:58.640 so this is like the one thing that's forced me to be on time and even then i get there just on time

00:59:03.900 i'm not on time by any means so like i'm walking after principal cast is already walking okay so like

00:59:10.220 the actual stars are already walking my dickhead ass is there after so i walk and after principal

00:59:16.160 cast walks they don't give a about you like if you're not selena gomez they don't care uh they

00:59:21.480 don't know who we are no and my publicist will still be like no we can still walk i'm like

00:59:25.420 and then we walk up and then nothing's more humbling than when you you know you got ready

00:59:31.380 you you got glam stress yeah i picked it out major stress drove down there rush went through fort

00:59:37.320 levels of security truly get there get on the carpet and then principal cast is already walking

00:59:42.480 so they already don't care about you and then one of the getty you know those getty photographers

00:59:46.720 one of them goes oh bitch nothing's more humbling than that did trixie tell you about the time she

00:59:53.140 got shut out of the people's stories yeah that to me and she and i was and i i as a friend i was

00:59:59.080 like i was very you know i felt her but i i wanted to be like mama i told you so

01:00:03.180 we don't we are goons and goblins we do not show up to red carpets like that we do not do that they

01:00:10.580 love to bring us so we'll post about it so people will pay attention but they really don't care about

01:00:16.180 us and that's that's what makes me laugh like that's what makes me because the way that he was

01:00:20.660 like first of all he's acting like it's an old timey camera where he's like you know what i mean

01:00:25.620 no it's digital he's like i'm not wasting one frame on that bitch no like no he looks at me he

01:00:32.220 goes yeah the way there's only two photographers he's one of them you can't throw me a bone at

01:00:37.340 least flash at me yeah just be like you look amazing how about that you could just pretend

01:00:42.840 just flash it no camera you can just do this with his fingers he just goes yeah like makes the noise

01:00:48.300 with his hand yeah my god that is it's so it's so humiliating but see now i mean i know because like

01:00:54.860 i i have been in those situations i know how famous i am which is not very and i feel that but in but i

01:01:02.880 know that if i go to a gay bar in um i don't know let's say a gay bar or somewhere in a metropolis

01:01:09.560 i probably will get recognized you know in some in some places if i go to an after party for a drag

01:01:16.240 race event i'm gonna get mobbed yeah but if i go to the ralph's i'm i'm a regular person and i love

01:01:22.840 that because this level of fame is fantastic yeah because you're like invisible every other but if i

01:01:27.920 need a friend i go to a gay area and make a new friend no seriously you know but um yeah that's like

01:01:32.320 me i love that certain spaces i'm like no i don't think i'll get recognized here sometimes i do which

01:01:37.840 shocks me but like i went to the see the jonas brothers on broadway in new york i knew i was gonna get

01:01:43.460 recognized there yeah those are my people yeah you know what i mean totally my girls yeah in there

01:01:47.640 so it's funny i went to um i flew to miami to see this um this ukrainian singer and of i did not get

01:01:56.240 recognized there because the entire crowd was um miami russian euro trash um and um it was fascinating

01:02:04.720 because it's like i wish i could get recognized here and you're like oh everyone recognizes me

01:02:12.060 everywhere else yeah it's like this is so not my this is so not my people but yeah i mean it's funny

01:02:16.560 i don't i don't i will never go back i went to the movie awards with trixie and um i will never go

01:02:22.480 back to a red carpet award first of all because no because it's a it's that glam process i was listening

01:02:28.540 to law roach talk about um getting oh yeah getting his stars ready use and die and um uh uh i think uh

01:02:35.640 um i've noticed like a vogue thing or something oh yeah yeah yeah and i was like i

01:02:41.640 i understand the the stress of that glam team now i don't have any glam people you are the glam

01:02:48.300 team i have um either a wonderful assistant or a friend who does a wig for me and then i'm

01:02:54.700 responsible for the maintenance of that wig once it's glued to my head you know what i mean these

01:02:58.760 people like sit these women sit down you know juliette binose or sharon stone sits down at a chair

01:03:05.820 she showers she takes a shower yeah that's what she does that's what i do she takes a shower yeah

01:03:11.760 and she sits down and then 45 people buzz around her like a like bees in a hive and then she emerges

01:03:18.380 and all she has to do is step step we it's very complicated for us and it's not fun it's not fun because

01:03:24.580 you are your glam team yeah and also you know we have to deal with the the near uh the you know

01:03:30.780 almost like guaranteed humiliation plus we're gonna look like shit because from certain angles

01:03:36.440 in certain lighting yeah it's a man maury it's a man maury you know and if like because three i'd say

01:03:44.720 10 degrees of the shift of my face i go from lana del rey to bob alaban and it's like a bummer yeah so

01:03:52.240 what's the point well especially like like when i walked the oscars like that was my biggest carpet

01:03:57.500 i've ever walked when i did that one and i remember he i wore a wig which i was terrified

01:04:03.360 to wear a wig on a carpet that big as i'm not any nothing having to do with my hair makeup artist

01:04:08.680 because he's so talented i was just it was short it was like a bob and i don't really like short

01:04:12.580 hair on myself it's tough to do something new yeah but we wanted to do something new and so he wigged me

01:04:17.620 down but i didn't get the chance to look at the back of my head because well because i was rushing out

01:04:23.640 the door because i was late and then i remember thinking the back of my head is none of my business

01:04:27.840 whatever goes on goes on and then i was like i'll just i'll just say like this okay yeah you just

01:04:33.220 sidestep yeah yeah and if anyone photographs the back of my head i scream and have a tantrum well

01:04:37.900 you know they had those those like those slow-mo cams i know well then i remembered when you walk the

01:04:42.560 carpet they shoot you from every angle up close they shoot your hands your feet every from head to toe

01:04:51.140 bitch and thankfully everything looked really beautiful and all the gettys and you know you

01:04:55.960 can't alter those like the getty doesn't lie raw that is for rotten awful and witchy like i mean it

01:05:04.220 is they could be getting them that's why i've told people i'm like that's why some some celebrities

01:05:08.580 don't post the gettys no they'll post their other pictures because it's like it's like it's um

01:05:13.300 peeling off the layer of any any like semblance of glamour to reveal your true rotten self it's like

01:05:20.080 and for a drag queen if i haven't shaved i don't know eight minutes before that photo was taken

01:05:24.380 it's just texture and it's it's just so unflattering i know that's why they they get

01:05:30.220 you in the most vulnerable so that's why i get it i understand why a lot of people don't want to

01:05:34.120 post again i get it it's stressful looking at them and that's i was so nervous and then i was like

01:05:39.760 it's okay you won't see the back of my head and then the way that they cut down the clips of me

01:05:44.300 interviewing um celebrities all you saw was the back of my head then i was thinking to myself i hope the

01:05:49.720 back of my head looks good because if it doesn't they're gonna drag me bitch like a hornet's nest

01:05:53.760 in there i was afraid have you seen harry potter uh-huh you know the first one when voldemort's

01:05:58.180 living on the back of his head or malignant yeah that's what i was like yeah i was afraid you'd

01:06:02.380 open it up there'd be a face right there i mean maybe that's another yeah i'd be like um i have

01:06:06.600 another question for you actually my colleague does that'd be great there's those like glasses

01:06:13.060 what do you think of that car yeah beagle pussy i mean if i were to do it's a bit i do yeah if i

01:06:19.660 were to do a red carpet these days i don't know if you're aware of alexis stone she's this brilliant

01:06:22.840 drag queen who does yeah yeah incredible impersonations like prosthetics and everything

01:06:26.480 is that the one that does caitlin jenner uh no that she might do caitlin jenner but macy rodman

01:06:32.440 yeah yeah okay no don't get me sorry about her she's a genius but alexis stone does these huge

01:06:37.460 long form she's like a performance artist and she went she goes to fashion shows uh i think she

01:06:43.080 went to givenchy or something as jennifer coolidge and the the illusion was pretty spot on because it

01:06:49.500 was all prosthetics and everything i would do that i have all i have these like expensive silicone masks

01:06:54.260 that have the full head and the decolletage i would do that oh yeah you know and i would you'd kill

01:06:59.140 i would love it because then i feel comfortable you know it's like because you're being a character yeah

01:07:04.160 because then it's also like the uglier the better you know i'd have drool bloodshot eyes the more

01:07:09.140 terrifying to look at yeah and i don't think they'd want to take my picture so i'd have to go with

01:07:13.680 julia roberts there you go to be like you know to be escorted to your seat yeah yeah i'd be like oh

01:07:17.720 you know i'd have to like make a deal with her maybe blackmail or something i don't know well

01:07:22.400 let me get back to these comments oh yeah yeah yeah wait can i say one thing yes but the ball thing

01:07:28.260 is like i just it is constantly shocking it men are terrified they are they're really really

01:07:35.240 that's why when i make fun of men because i make fun of terrible men all the time if i make fun of

01:07:39.500 their hair it's literally because i feel like it's ironic that they're attacking people unprovoked

01:07:46.280 and holding this like upholding this and pushing this patriarchal eurocentric beauty standard that they

01:07:52.320 themselves don't even meet and i'm like i think it's really funny that you want to comment on other

01:07:57.000 people's looks when you yourself don't even meet these standards yeah because according

01:08:00.420 according to the your the patriarchal beauty standard you're supposed to have a full head of hair

01:08:04.420 and you don't and you're 19 and i think that's a bummer and you're a 19 year old bald ass bitch

01:08:08.680 you should shut the f*** up that's what i would do yeah but i mean it's but it's i mean stone's glass

01:08:13.860 house hello you know but the the crazy thing about it to me is that like you know for the the struggle

01:08:19.620 is real for representation for many many types of people there aren't enough you know people of color

01:08:25.920 people are plus size you know the um different nationalities ethnicities there is uh that there

01:08:31.640 are there are innumerable white bald men of extreme success yeah literally everywhere like truly truly

01:08:41.100 there's so many examples of success yeah it's insane of them persevering despite losing conquering the

01:08:47.040 world you know and like and i mean i when i was in a uh back in boston years ago in drag hooking up

01:08:53.260 with this older guy who's like 45 and um he was hot he wanted to keep on his baseball cap

01:08:58.980 naked in the bed and i was like take that hat off you stupid insecure bitch like i have my tongue up

01:09:06.760 your ass you think i care if you're bald what if you took it off and you were like oh my god it'll get

01:09:12.120 out that's what you thought i was gonna do i was like you're trying to oh you were you were trying to

01:09:16.860 make me think that you're 30 i don't know i don't yeah that's where i draw the line you look nuts it's

01:09:22.900 like it's like walking it's like being completely naked except for like um you know opera length

01:09:28.280 gloves it's just so it's so bizarre like take your hat off bitch you bald ass bitch it's okay

01:09:34.600 well i think i i always think that about bald men too because you're right there they have so many

01:09:42.600 examples hats hats exist there's a millinery well and every time i say millinery every time i say

01:09:49.500 like i make fun of their hairline because they attack like fat women for example every time i do

01:09:54.860 that they're like oh you're making fun of stuff they can't change mama they didn't hear about turkey

01:10:00.220 go to turkey how about philip treese hat maker how about a unit a rug do you know how many barbershops

01:10:07.860 do those installs they do installs now for men's hair i won't air him i won't air this person's

01:10:13.780 dirty laundry but there is a man that i know who has an unclockable piece and i saw i didn't know it

01:10:21.680 i was all up in his grill for hours and then later learned about it and i was truly gagged but he is

01:10:28.340 so mum about it because he will not because he wants to portray the image of this virile hairy

01:10:36.480 bear you can tell me who that is after and i'll tell you who lit someone up on the carpet i surely

01:10:41.640 will exchange yeah okay good okay i'll read one of these comments on this uh it says you can't have

01:10:49.880 an unbiased stance on hair if you don't have any obviously you think this way because you have no

01:10:54.500 other choice than to be bald which is kind of a read that's kind of funny because of course you

01:11:00.820 think that you baldy you baldy you wouldn't know shit about hair yeah of course you think that

01:11:05.280 bald bitch that is so wild do you read comments do you read a comment all the time yeah i don't read

01:11:13.100 reviews i don't know all the time i read them all the time i'm one of the few platforms i feel like

01:11:18.100 now that's like literally built by hate like it's built off the shoulders of men who hate me

01:11:24.820 like i'm standing on your anger is gasoline in my tank it truly is it's like it's you know like

01:11:32.460 some some people have told me they're they're very like brand friendly they're very like

01:11:36.720 loving advice like you know mentor type platforms and they have really big platforms too and they've

01:11:43.480 talked to me about how like the few times they have responded to hate people have been like

01:11:46.620 you should be the bigger person you should do this you should do that sometimes i still get that and

01:11:51.200 i'm like i have never been the bigger person i've literally made a living off of it yeah of being

01:11:56.160 so mean to terrible people like terrible men i have ripped to shreds many times it's a sport

01:12:02.820 that's why i'm like i'm one of the few people that like that's my job is to look for hate and respond

01:12:07.980 to it that's literally my job and you seem to be doing wonderfully well there you go you know it's

01:12:13.980 the only sad thing about that scenario would be that if you were affected by it negatively which honey

01:12:18.780 checks yeah too busy on the way to the bank when i was at the oscars was i thinking about that guy

01:12:23.740 that called me fat two months ago no no i was too busy cyber bullying julia robbers

01:12:29.860 i just think like i'm one of the few people that it's like that's literally my job is to respond to

01:12:35.940 it so but that's why i read mean comments all the time i do too i mean i i love i i fished for them

01:12:42.680 early in um after drag race because i was one of the very few very fortunate people who

01:12:48.680 hardly received any hate so i really had to dig oh but i dug so i was like i was like oh nice one

01:12:54.220 nice one oh i love you whatever okay so i'm like really trying to go for like where is the one i'm

01:12:58.660 trying to look for like this meth addled monster has no talent and i was like looking looking and i

01:13:03.220 finally found some and i was like oh okay it's not nearly as exciting as oh it's not because some of

01:13:09.180 them are also like ai bots or whatever yeah and and some of them are like i feel like sometimes

01:13:14.500 they're fans disguising as haters because sometimes they do that to get your attention

01:13:19.140 exactly which is strange really insult me yeah i want you to come you know really really whatever

01:13:24.940 but yeah that's what i told i told bob that when he was uh here i was literally telling i was telling

01:13:30.280 them that i i can't believe that well what the craziest part about the platform is that the people

01:13:35.000 that drag you the hardest are people who love you of course your biggest fan yes and that's what

01:13:40.140 makes me laugh i love it so wild yeah they're like the funniest and the meanest yeah yeah yeah because

01:13:44.760 they know you yeah and they know they know how to yeah they know how to um they have all they have

01:13:51.120 all the the research and they can really go at you yeah that's why i told i told bob the same thing

01:13:56.660 i'm like the way that they gather me is way different than the way a man just a random dude who hates

01:14:02.480 me yeah yeah yeah a random dude will literally just call me fat and ugly that doesn't mean anything

01:14:06.120 to me no no because i'm like well i can lie too i can sit here and lie all day it'll work oh sorry

01:14:13.380 no you're fine oh my god anyways i think that's gonna do it for episode do you want to tell anyone

01:14:18.160 anything about being bald and beautiful um i may be bald well so i'm i i am bald i don't consider

01:14:25.660 myself beautiful it depends i think you're beautiful well thank you very much yeah um i've also learned

01:14:30.200 not to um uh false modesty is almost as bad as um like low self-esteem i feel that i mean it's like

01:14:35.640 just take the compliment bitch don't call her a liar you know what i mean like um but uh i would say

01:14:42.820 um oh what can i plug something yeah please oh you know what also i i didn't get to share um i this

01:14:49.320 person of me in the future i wore a shirt of me in the future i thought and beautiful and also

01:14:55.660 bald and beautiful and also um with the the looming specter of uh the future of because we're all

01:15:03.740 going to be bald imminent death you know that's true yeah underneath the skin we're all bald under

01:15:09.280 the skin yeah that's a great movie with scarlett johansson you should watch it i've never seen it

01:15:13.600 but um i just want to say uh if you want to look at our podcast look at our podcast it's there yeah

01:15:20.820 please plug it yeah um and um the bald and the beautiful with trixie mattel and katia zamalachikova

01:15:26.980 is on apple spotify youtube and thank you i don't know i also sell stuff on my website yes please

01:15:38.360 plug it what's the name of the website it's we love katia.com see how insecure i was when i had

01:15:46.480 created that website i just had to convince people is that false modesty uh i think it's um

01:15:53.660 insecurity but i also have um i also own the domain to plenty of feet.com so stay tuned for that

01:15:59.500 i think they'll probably tune in for that more than anything people always say if you ever post

01:16:05.280 if you ever do something with your bare feet in the frame they say giving away the feet for free yeah

01:16:09.480 for free yeah they do sometimes people will post like pics with their feet in it and they'll just put

01:16:14.260 like a little rectangle over their feet oh my god because they say no free feet no free feet

01:16:18.020 drop the venmo sis yeah well no thank you so much for having me my god i hope i didn't talk too much

01:16:23.580 no never i that's our favorite kinds of episodes honestly you're so funny such a legend i is an honor

01:16:29.380 to have you it was a real pleasure to be here thank you all so much for joining in thank you so much

01:16:34.820 to our amazing guest katia for joining me on this episode of the comment section if you love the

01:16:39.420 comment section make sure you guys subscribe on spotify because that is where we are exclusive

01:16:43.660 and we love spotify forever make sure you visit trixie and katia's podcast the balds and beautiful

01:16:48.840 which is available on all streaming platforms and youtube and also is it we love katia we love

01:16:54.460 katia.com we love katia.com and use code um balding bitch for 20 off uh rogaine products um until

01:17:03.220 november while supplies last yes there are just a few over the left make sure you check out

01:17:10.900 balds and the beautiful make sure you look at we love katia.com follow katia on everything you

01:17:15.520 guys already know where to find her she's a legend and thank you all so much for tuning in i'll see you

01:17:19.080 next week bye

01:17:19.840 you

BLOODSHOT DIVAS Ft. Katya Zamolodchikova ｜ Drew Afualo ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 62

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