COOL IT, SLUGGO Ft. Maggie Winters | Episode 206
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 41 minutes
Words per Minute
227.33687
Summary
On this episode of the comment section, we have the iconic, the legendary, the hilarious, maggie winters. She's a standup comic, writer, and all-round funny woman who's been around the block. She also happens to be a member of the cast of the standup comedy show "Sorry Me Your Babe" on Comedy Central.
Transcript
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and i have the problem of the left actually like yeah we're right yeah we're trying to
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end each other we're policing we're all saying a cab we're policing each other
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you guys all have mickey mouse blue lives matter tattoos and i can see it two steps
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hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show sorry me your babe
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everybody knows me who cares about me on to the guest today we have the iconic the legendary
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the hilarious maggie winters oh my god and everyone does care about you so don't ever say that in front
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of me again you'd be surprised yeah depends on who's sitting in that chair that's someone who's
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someone on the pod's like great i'm with her well no sometimes depending on who it is they'll be like
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can you guys oh my gosh i love chaperone can you tell that other bitch to shut the fuck up
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on my show unfortunately you're gonna have to hear me talk honey it's gonna be my show yeah
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unfortunately i i am a huge part of it oh my god but i'm so happy to have you because they like oh
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i can't believe i'm here when i walked in and saw the set i was like maybe they don't know who i am
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and they somehow got tricked into having me here are you kidding yeah no i'm a one day one fan of you
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thank you are you kidding the world yeah i think you're the funniest ever oh god and i love funny
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women you know that about me i we're trying out here yeah i do feel like i make i'm making the
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joke too much on stage where i'm like yeah and i'm a woman and yeah we can be funny now and people
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are like look around like oh and i'm like no it's a joke like a joke because people say we're not
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and then like it's like if i have to explain it it's over yeah forget it yeah yeah forget it you're
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not the audience for me i get that sometimes i think some of my better jokes get lost in the in
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the shuffle of my like man hating yes you know sometimes i think people don't give me enough
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credit for oh this is a man i can actually i'm a i'm a big i love men oh oh you i'm big for men
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yeah oh no maggie winters for men that's kind of my
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i'm gonna go into it right away because yes so as you know in disney i went to disneyland that's
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true he's also a disney adult like me yes yes and that was my subway take and someone did say i had
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diabetes on my subway take just from me saying i was a disney adult it made me laugh so hard it was
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all kept you have diabetes and that's how you found out yeah that's via subway take comment i do
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i do make the joke now i go it was my doctor trying to get a hold of me um i'm a busy girl
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yesterday i was in me it was in toontown of course yeah of course and i was right under the gag factory
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which makes me laugh so hard yeah have to and my friend jordan said she's like i'm trying to get
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people to say instead of maga um gaga and i was like it's not gonna happen yeah i don't think
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that's gonna take i actually think i'm saying it wrong but she was like i want people to be like i
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wanted to change to gag like oh my god i was like and you're like you should workshop it a little bit
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i was like you need to get to the gag factory honey it's like the factory and something else yeah i
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actually warehouse the gag warehouse yeah the gag warehouse i just saw a tiktok of that like yes
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using that oh yeah that like audio i have audio yes the ball oh my god mickey and minnie's railway
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runaway it's so fun it's a blast i love that i remember the first time i went on that ride was
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at i think disney world was the first time i'd ever written that ride specifically and i was like ah
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kid ride and then when i got off i felt like that was amazing it's so sweet and i i'm a i'm a world
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girl yeah i worked there did you i did the college program yeah i was a space cop in tomorrowland so
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that and improv hand in hand hand in hand um so i everything i say this about a lot of myself
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anything that the world is like that's bad and cringe i'm kind of like i'm loving it like
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just like historically yeah like improv like everything i'm always like this is for me and
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people are like that's actually we don't like that i'm like awesome no we're not worried
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oh okay yeah me either but because i have like a hand tattoo before like you can get away with it
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yeah yeah i guess you have to just not dress you don't you can't have um a tattoo of it do you have
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any disney tattoos i do not me neither yeah well i haven't crossed that threshold but i think part
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of that is because all of my tattoos are like cultural so i'm a big this is probably a virgo part
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of me mentally ill depending on who you ask yeah it's like they all my tattoos have to match i want
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them all to be similar and very beautiful thank you i wish i had culture um no you are from chicago
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i am i'm from chicago so my brother this is funny they're probably gonna hate that i say this my
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brothers and like all their best friends when they were like 22 i think got the chicago flag tattoo
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when they were drunk right and now everyone's like you're a cop and they're like no i don't want
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because they've all happened here damn my brother and it's in the most cop place yes
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the outer bicep they're very much not that's not their style they are like union workers chicago so
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i'm like you can go with that but when you see the chicago flag on a man you're kind of like
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cop cop yeah my brother was like i kind of want to get a skeleton like coming out of it i was like you
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should yeah do something do something to get it going yeah edit it in some way or fashion big time
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my um parents really don't like tattoos and me and my two brothers have a bunch yeah are your
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parents like traditional i know your dad's irish yes is he irish catholic are they both catholic yes
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yeah of course irish we have chicago obviously my uncle's a priest are you kidding me we have a
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painting of jesus in the living room he's in the water for some reason in a towel dripping from his
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hands like this i'm going what is this they're like it's it's a beautiful painting of jesus i'm like
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he's sexy coming out of the water like you start strapping yeah i'm like i guess if you're trying
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to get me into religion like this is how to do it i guess that's the way to do it but they're very
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when i was like you know in my 20s i was like i'm not catholic and my dad was like well you are
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your irish catholic like it's culture and i was like great yeah well that's not okay no and he was
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like in the jewish way i was like whatever you have to say yeah all my love to you we do yeah we do
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we i told you we celebrate saint patrick's name like a big way yeah we start the day with
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catholic mass in my backyard in your backyard my uncle's obviously well i guess that kind of
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works when you have a plug aka a priest in your yeah i was like we do have plugs kind of everything
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it is it's really it's it's so it's such a goofy thing and we have church at home half half hour
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long we're not doing the full thing oh that's nice we can start drinking alcohol oh right okay well
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that's a true irish catholic to be honest and i really do think well i was gonna ask is drinking
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in samoan culture big or no it is i wouldn't say i mean there is something called mixing in
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polynesian culture i can't even say it's specifically someone because tongans do it a lot too but mixing
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is like kava so you like mix it in like normally it's a bucket but it's traditionally like a big
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wooden bowl but it's like a drink that quite honestly tastes like shit it tastes like dirt and
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water because that is what it is it's plant the root of a plant in water but it gives you um if you
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drink enough of it it like gives you this really numbing weird feeling almost like being high i'm
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in right now but it does get the bucket out that sounds awesome like that's like that's like their
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version of drinking but of course yeah they do love to drink yeah some people love to drink but like my
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family is one side of my family is like devout christian the other side is mormon mormon yeah but
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no catholics i'm locked in on the mormons yeah mormons they're so interesting they are fascinating
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and so like i did i actually were you raised no no no my parents were you raised at all what's going
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on my parents found me wandering in the backyard and just kind of brought like get her in here
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they laid down treats like sully did taboo and then i just walked in the house wait oh my god
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yeah so my dad's my dad was raised mormon and there is no alcohol in that no there's nothing
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they can't even women can't even show their shoulders they can't even drink uh caffeinated soda
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yeah yeah or juices after like on certain days but like my don't they all drink swig isn't that
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caffeinated that's what i that's what i'm confused about i don't know if the rules have been altered
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but like when i was a kid and i would go visit my mormon side they couldn't have anything with
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caffeine yeah they could drink coffee they would never drink coffee and they would never drink soda
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so it was a real they were things up like mormon people are big juice people they love juice
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don't know what that is but they do love juice it's true that's their version of like orange pineapple
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yeah just any any me trying to think of juices like orange apple
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forgetting all juice oh my god i we we only got orange juice and we loved orange juice and we
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would chug it and my dad would walk in and go cool it sluggo sluggo so me and my brothers
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did get the word sluggo tattooed on our arms we think it was so funny you know what's crazy say it
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me and my siblings have a have a tattoo of our dad but it's like a joke like also yes yeah yeah so
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like we also have matching tattoos as siblings so like my dad's very first tattoo ever was this um
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like almost like stick and poke but it was like tapped into him when he was living in samua and it's
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so small and it's on his shoulder my dad is humongous so the thing is like this big on his left shoulder
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girly low-key yes and it's like written script and it does 100 someone and he like hates it he's so
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embarrassed by it's all blown out because it was done by someone who was not a tattoo artist so like
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when we were fucked up one day we were like we should get a tattoo that says 75 someone because
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my dad's full my mom's half yes and we were like yeah yeah and then we did it so we all have that 75
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percent so i was like we did tattoo a bit on us because of our dad yeah so i'm with you and your
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siblings on that look at us that's fun you the mystery continues white americans would have about
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17 would be like 2 percent italian and then i get like 23 and me will take that away in like
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three weeks they like switch and you're like what am i yeah yeah i do have the irish i'm like 75
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irish but that'll change day to day yeah it does depend on who you ask who you said your dna to oh and
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you know my mom was like we're gonna do ancestry too like everyone has my blood and dna to get to
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the bottom of this yeah she's more like she wanted to connect like like a family tree interesting but
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she it's sad because at some point she'll be like i found out that our you know my cousin sisters
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whatever aunt she got in a car crash in arizona and you're like okay i never knew her i don't i'm
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scared that she's in a car crash they yearn to tell you news of people dying oh yeah they love to
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do that yes they're like do you remember so yeah she's dead yeah or she's pregnant can you believe
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that it's either or yeah it's funny because my fiance's mom is white she's a white woman yeah
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love her and she is like right at me as she said that right yeah profiling white woman you're about
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you're gonna be a mother-in-law i was like you guys are gonna have a lot in common
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she she's like my favorite person to tell news to like because the way she reacts is always
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you're kidding yeah no matter what it is it could be like this is on sale or someone died yeah and
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she'll be like drew you're lying to me and i'd be like no if you can believe it lisa it's true i'm dead
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serious if you if you can believe it my mom on the phone she's like stop what you're lying i go i go
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what happened nothing she goes nothing i go wait who died nobody like she's on the phone acting like
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no like can i say it like like she's getting the call about 9 11 and she gets off the phone
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no she's like oh they just you know they're at the grocery store what what was all that pageantry you
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were just engaging in i think maybe that was i was like i gotta be an actress this is awesome
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she needs attention and so do i oh badly yeah speaking of you uh being an actress we have we did
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chat about this on your pod as well a little bit because we were joking about reading for the same
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part yeah because maggie said are you i read for you for it and i go oh my god so did i and you're
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like probably for the same role and i said fat bitch at the party
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because i know they're making me one a thousand and i'll take it yeah i'll take it i will take
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let me look directly at the cameras i'll take any role right now i'm we're trying to book yes we will
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be twins and we'll make it work yeah we will make it work you will walk out of that room believing we
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are twins very different skin tones definitely twins yeah and you're saying we couldn't be related
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okay blended families don't exist exactly that's when you start turning it yeah i get that though
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i even i've joked before that like i bitched about not getting any casting call whatsoever not even a
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background role for moana the live action which kind of felt like they walked right by me that seems
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really i was like okay well one two the rock's already in it ali's kind of in it hello hello hello
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and so i bitched about it so much online like that got so much attention that they did reach out to me
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let me read for background roles no i did not get any of them and yes all of them were for men
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but you know what i figured like having lines yeah like but background roles obviously yeah and they
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were like all men so they all were like he he he which i was like i mean he he he i'll be in the
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movie if that's the case if you need me to be him for the movie i will be him do not yeah don't
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get it twisted it's fine i am a thespian at the end of the day oh my god so i didn't get any of
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the roles which is crazy but you know this is me for the bear um because i'm in chicago i was gonna
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say i was gonna ask you about the bear they're they're kind of actively ignoring me they don't
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know who i am but they've never heard me but i'm every day kind of being like this is very specific
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as in the first season did you watch the bear yes so you know the brothers um uh the last yeah
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and you know more better than me they mentioned the sister yeah and i got like two texts that were
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like you better come on as a sister later yeah well congrats to brie larson for booking
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they said what if you had an actually amazing actress and not a girl not a loud girl from
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chicago and yeah she killed it yeah i guess congrats to my body double you know what i mean i'll be
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the body double me and her captain marvel the bear no i saw captain marvel yesterday oh my gosh how
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wasn't i'm yelling at her i'm going queen she goes stop which is very captain marvel to say
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that is extremely she would do yes that is so but i was gonna ask if you related to the bear at all
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that feels like based off what you described about your family um culturally accurate in a lot of ways
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a little bit yeah like except the chef part yeah that was like we don't have well my dad owned a
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restaurant in the 90s oh isn't that crazy what kind of restaurant uh like a bar and grill so it had
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two names at one point it was waltzing matilda's and it was australian themed god bless uh the logo
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was really cool though it was like a kangaroo fighting right boxing gloves then he changed it
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to willie's dine and dance and was there dancing yeah i think there was like little it was a cute
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little bar area my uncle's made my uncle made the desserts nice my uncle is my uncle john is amazing
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baker you would never guess really he's like he's bald i why did i feel bad saying that he is
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like bald and like it's okay my dad's a little angry like in the in the most loving uncle way
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right and then he's like and happy birthday here's your cake and you're like this is the best cake i've
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ever had right there's no decorations happening no don't try to ask for that yeah you know yeah you
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get it's like an older man that you're like i love my uncle i love my dad yeah but i can call
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them a little and my dad's a little man you're a little angry just like a little that's a little
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bit going my dad is like a big a very large man like my dad's six six my dad's a big dude
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but my dad is very shy so like painfully shy yeah i think my dad is the most shy person i've ever met
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in my entire life like i joke about this all the time that if i was like standing next to my dad and
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we were like in a place that was generally populated like a mall yeah and i wasn't talking
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to him but i went like some did something crazy next to him he would be so painfully humiliated
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like for days just because it brought attention to him so like my my dad is shy to a clinical degree
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like that's kind of sweet yeah it's very strange and my mom is like very small so my mom is five i saw
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your mom yeah she's tiny and my mom is not afraid of anything and my mom is very outgoing so they're like
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that's the best couple yeah it's very in the back and she's like and don't talk to him like that
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exactly i always say like there should always be one person who loves attention and one who doesn't
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really care for it okay so i need to find a shy yeah you need to find someone who's like cool with
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no attention whatsoever i've joked too how do i find them if they're like hiding right if they're hiding
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in the background that's the issue yeah you gotta look for butterflies on the wall you know what i mean
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so like lack of social butterfly i do have a question about your dad because
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my dad or my brother liam is six seven t and he's very like gentle you you're tall so that
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makes sense from a tall family he's he's not shy but he's definitely like a gentle giant yeah and he
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says sometimes he'll go to bars like especially when he's younger and there would just be like the
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like short guy who'd be like oh you think because you're tall i can't take you and he'd be like what
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like i'm just standing here like i'll kick your ass like and does that ever happen to your dad
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yeah he's all the time but my dad has such a gentle demeanor too which i'm sure your brother
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does yes so they they'll always say it in a way that's like a joke yeah they'll be like nah i'm
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just kidding man i'm just kidding yeah like they do it to my man too because my man is six four
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i'm not him he was so nice yeah he is which is kind of annoying you're like okay you're hot and nice
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grow up come on hey knock it off knock it off yeah and i know it's really fucking annoying trust me
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trust me i get it that's actually perfect because recently my man my man boxes so he's been boxing
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for like two-ish years now and he's he really loves it and yeah uppercut yeah i took with two classes
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real real one of those yeah they do that noise like so he he boxes a lot like when we go to the gym
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and stuff and he was telling me recently he's like this always happens when i box like yeah at every
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gym i've ever boxed at there will always be at least one guy who happens to be short every time
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listen like it's your guys's fault at that point it's a pattern like what do you call it yes so like
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he said they'll come over after i'm like done like i'll be like doing my whatever the fuck he does
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and then he goes and then i'll go by my bag and i'll just be like chilling right there like catching
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my breath and then this guy will just wander over to the bags and then like punch it really hard
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a couple times he says every time and then sometimes they'll come back and then they'll
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kick it and he said and every time it's two punches and then they just go like and they walk
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away they're not boxing and they weren't boxing before like i can do it too yes yeah and then he
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said and then if they come back they kick it like like jujitsu kind of deal oh my god and so i was we
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were at our like gym that we always go to and he was like the address and go ahead and dox that
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below and then we were we were like like uh talking and we were next to the bags yeah because i was
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telling him something and then this guy i've never seen before walked by and then did like the two
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punches he goes see did you see that and then he's like watch he's gonna come back and he's gonna kick
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it and then like probably five minutes later he like circled back again and then he went oh and
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like kicked it to the side and then just walks away oh my god it's so strange it's such a like
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posturing thing like yes men oh my god they live in a prison of their own making yes i do i will
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say this yeah as a tall woman people will be like are you ever attracted to short men specifically
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right because like women go go for whatever but i actually am not um i'm bisexual is what i meant
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yeah um they're going what is she talking about i guess what i'm trying to say like women i but
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for men it's like i've been attracted to short men who like don't have that like the opposite
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confidence yeah like they you can't tell they're like i don't they're like yeah i'm never gonna so
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i don't care and i'm no i swear to god there are some short men i've met who i never noticed they
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were short until like years into knowing them yes i'm thinking of one in particular one of one of our
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buddies um and he like i think he's like maybe five six i don't even know because i can't tell
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right because i'm not paying attention to it he drowns in puss first of all never has any problem
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he hits on everyone like he's very like uh casual and very like nice and like normal and the way
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women are like oh my god like about everything even one time we were going to dinner together
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a few times and i like probably one time i was like can you like keep it in your fucking pants for
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one meal one meal chill out for one yeah and it's literally because he just doesn't care it's like
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him how tall he is doesn't play a factor it doesn't play a role yeah take listen up yeah every time i
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make fun of short guys like i do get that was one of the things i got forever they're like called me a
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body shamer for her goal let's go yeah making fun of guys being short which i'm like i have very
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distinctly and obviously said that if you are short as a man like a straight cis man you cannot be
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terrible like that's the rule yes when you are terrible i will bring up the fact that you're
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short that is your fault yeah you made me do it sorry you made me look look what you made me do
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taylor swift yeah alexa look what you made me do and i was scared for one second there wasn't alexa
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in here you never know every time i say that they do tell me like you made my alexa start playing
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yeah i'm like yeah that's called magic yeah look it up come on wait let's go back to disneyland how
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was your disney adventure yesterday amazing so i go with my two friends charlie and jordan and we
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this is we just realized it's our fourth year going to disneyland anytime i come to la which you know
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usually once or twice a year we plan a trip and we just do us three because i'm the disney one so
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the first time we ever went i was like let me show you what to do and now they like get it have to
00:22:23.380
know the route yes we're on a schedule we get in we plan like i have a notes app before we go like
00:22:28.420
i i write down the snacks i want to try sorry um and yesterday it was the chocolate cookie
00:22:35.000
croissant oh it's flat not i'm not sure why um but it's amazing it was amazing uh marisa's treats
00:22:42.400
uh i and we got there we did we didn't do rope drop but we probably were there like 10 minutes later
00:22:48.940
tea yeah early early yeah and we we went all day thank you for voting i didn't i wasn't sure what
00:22:54.940
there was no fireworks yeah so i was like do i see the castle show or do i see the color show i said
00:22:59.720
world of color and i that's what we did and i've seen them all i've seen every show there so world of
00:23:04.040
color is one of my favorites if not my favorite besides the fireworks yeah it's so fun joy and all
00:23:09.700
that i'm going on yeah and i literally watch it and i feel like i'm like wow yes engineering is
00:23:15.280
amazing i love it i'm being blown away i'm eating a huge sundae being like oh my god like
00:23:21.920
truly living but then we were also so so tired we did something we've never done which is we started
00:23:27.700
at california went to disneyland and then we went back to california and the night tea because charlie
00:23:33.580
was like i want a beer i was like yeah of course yeah and they only sell liquor in yeah right there's
00:23:38.640
only like a few isn't there like a few things you can get maybe yeah i think there's like mixed drinks
00:23:42.880
there's margaritas there's beer but there's no there's no alcohol at all in disneyland no that's
00:23:48.400
how magic kingdom was in disney world but then they got the beauty and the beast uh and as i'm saying
00:23:54.200
this i'm just like you're so sick for knowing this kind of stuff you know i'm like the beauty and the
00:23:58.860
beast restaurant actually is wine so and there's a new pirate's bar so yeah so go ahead and jot that
00:24:07.120
questions but then when i worked at disney i thought i was like a disney adult which i which
00:24:12.620
i say i am but when you go there like and to work like different you're done yeah different vibe people
00:24:19.040
are like you say one thing wrong they're like did you just say splash mountain was at hollywood studios
00:24:24.580
that's like you know i mean like that's really interesting i have a tattoo of the whole park on my
00:24:29.760
back you know what's the funniest tattoo in the world to me that it's so messed up is that couple that
00:24:38.400
they got them back here yeah pictures of that i've seen what were they nobody stopped them
00:24:45.380
no of course not like we want disney tattoos but we had to send a message
00:24:49.200
you were working at disney where'd you work were you like working rides or working i worked um
00:24:55.700
ride i worked the worst ride i think in disney history can you guess what it is it's closed now
00:25:00.060
no actually i can't because i wait is it um dinosaur no oh my god that one's scary
00:25:06.120
okay yeah i literally we went last year i love disney world i think the first time i went was
00:25:11.780
like a few years ago for like fucking playlist live which was this oh my god thing that is no
00:25:17.100
longer a thing and it shouldn't have been but it was fun because they did rent out universal for one
00:25:21.420
night which was awesome oh that's amazing so i got to like go on rides with no weights or whatever but
00:25:26.280
disney world last year my brother for his 21st birthday was like i want to go to disney world
00:25:30.620
because when we had gone a few years earlier he couldn't go because he had like football and stuff
00:25:34.620
so he's like i really want to go to disney world so we all went as a family did you drink around the
00:25:38.100
world at upcott we've tried multiple times to drink around the world the very first time we went i made
00:25:43.060
it to i think tokyo and then i was like i'm gonna die so i'm gonna have to stop um you gotta split
00:25:47.920
drinks i feel like that's what we found out because when we first did it we were all getting our own
00:25:52.580
so by the time i got to france i was literally i was like did you get a grand marnier slush no oh yes i
00:25:59.100
did get that one i will say i will say we were drinking like we started on canada we started on
00:26:05.100
canada okay people have very strong opinions about where to start yeah we started on canada first
00:26:09.540
and like the very first time we ever went and i remember by the time we got to london i was
00:26:13.700
fighting with my fiancee like we were fighting because we'd been drinking and he was fucking
00:26:17.040
annoying me and then we went to by the time we got to france yeah and i've got still fighting
00:26:22.180
still annoyed at each other i was like whatever i don't care and we were like standing apart from each
00:26:27.540
other and then we were waiting in line for ratatouille because remy like ratatouille is one
00:26:32.380
of my favorite disney movies so obviously we had to go on the ride so we were waiting in the line
00:26:35.640
and we were i was like like we were like mad at each other and then someone recognized me that was
00:26:41.440
running the ride and then they came up and they were like hey come here and then they they took my
00:26:45.860
whole family out of line and they gave us um like genie passes or whatever for yes and then they
00:26:51.020
were like you can skip the line here like you could go up front and then all of a sudden me and
00:26:54.520
my fiancee not mad anymore we were like okay fight over that's disney magic that's disney magic
00:27:00.580
working that's so good curse too like i feel like disney fight and then it can have the same miami
00:27:05.040
curse yeah you know what i mean like you fight and break up yes yeah obviously we didn't break up we
00:27:10.400
were just beefing and i don't even remember over what it was some bullshit though that is i know that
00:27:14.940
some it is the disney world experience i would i would love to drink around the world with you and
00:27:19.460
your family i would love to now that i know we don't have many it's like me and britney
00:27:23.360
yeah we've been trying to bully caleb into going he like refuses i was like caleb you have to go
00:27:29.160
with us at least once he makes fun of my disney adult i remember i did a show where he was making
00:27:33.200
fun of me and from the side of the stage i went gorsh and he went no not gorsh and i was laughing
00:27:37.200
so hard i was like oh no he said no maggie don't do that he i don't he would hate it though he would
00:27:44.920
but that's what i'm saying you have to do it with us because you love us and if you love us prove it
00:27:50.160
wear a grumpy shirt you have to participate in our culture that's our culture he has to
00:27:54.080
participate yeah come on yeah i think that's fair wait so which ride did you end up working
00:27:58.120
stitches great escape um yeah right do you know that it's closed it wasn't there when you were
00:28:04.900
there last year yeah it was so first it was alien okay in magic kingdom into marlin which alien was
00:28:11.080
like too scary like you thought you were getting attacked okay and they're like what if we switch it
00:28:15.660
and make it nicer instead of you're getting attacked by an alien you're getting attacked by
00:28:19.000
stitch attacked meaning it's not a ride even he burps on you he um spits on you okay he's running
00:28:27.760
around it's a prequel to the movie there's no lilo involved oh so it's just when he's being crazy
00:28:32.600
yeah it's like six to six escaped we have to get him back the very end he ends up in the castle
00:28:39.760
and and cinderella you hear like a voice she's like oh and he's like like i was a space i watched
00:28:46.420
i did that and the people mover which i'm sad disneyland doesn't have just like the little car
00:28:50.560
that yeah the people mover yeah um those you know what's funny is i rode tron for the first time
00:28:57.020
last time we went so fun yeah so short but so fun yeah we wrote it and we were on a tour so like
00:29:03.880
they were like do you want to ride it again and we were like yeah why not and like we were like it was
00:29:08.800
like my whole family and like our friends and stuff and we're all coupled up and like my man
00:29:13.120
was with me yes you know how like you have to lay on it like you have to straddle like a horse yes
00:29:17.100
like we literally he was like oh we're running again i go yeah he goes i don't really like this
00:29:22.560
position like it feels like vulnerable i go oh you don't like yeah oh someone doesn't like being
00:29:28.880
vulnerable on all fours interesting you're on a ride i mean every i killed everyone with that joke i
00:29:33.880
don't like she was laughing because her husband was there i told my oh you don't like it yeah i was
00:29:39.680
like oh does it feel maybe vulnerable to be on all fours and toot it up yeah to touching is exhausting
00:29:46.120
isn't it oh yeah that's and maintain the arch while you do it how's that oh i that's my dream it
00:29:53.240
obviously is to do a tour or vip um and i was then you just gotta come with me i know well i told my
00:30:00.260
family i was you will know that i felt like i've made it when i can bring you guys that's actually
00:30:04.520
so on vip and they're like okay when i go well not soon but we're actually going in a couple weeks
00:30:13.360
with my whole family with my nieces and nephews oh my gosh how fun and they're like like i'm
00:30:19.280
planning obviously me and my mom every second we're planning like so it's like we're it's gonna
00:30:23.060
be fine but it's funny like now that there's kids involved we have to be like somebody's right
00:30:27.480
like what are we gonna do with the kids when they can't go on tower terror like i'm going on
00:30:30.980
that's my favorite ride you know so what are you gonna do what are you guys gonna do my mom's like
00:30:35.120
i'll bring them to like you need to be i'm like great whatever okay mom but one day you'll take
00:30:38.840
that one perfect one day i'm gonna be like tower terror is fun the best at at disney world yeah it's
00:30:43.920
my so guardians i like the music but i'm like guardians is fun yes it is i do like the music but
00:30:49.680
tower terror is like classic oh my god yeah yeah there's a movie that is true but it also is
00:30:55.800
messed up because you're like watching a child get electrocuted so that's kind of fucked up you're
00:30:59.540
like wait what the hell i like the what's the rock and roll roller coaster exactly rock and roll
00:31:04.380
roller coaster which they're changing i guess from aerosmith you walk in they're like welcome to the
00:31:09.920
and it's funny because now you're like none of these kids know who aerosmith is it was fun yeah
00:31:16.500
that one's short too that one shocked me i did not know it was gonna go that fast like and
00:31:22.740
the first time we ever rode that one too we like finished and sometimes and this is not me bragging
00:31:29.420
this is just a fact sometimes people will be like i'm a huge fan do you want to write again like
00:31:34.600
sometimes that happens but it's not often but this time we pulled up and it was a a dude and he was
00:31:41.000
like do you guys want to write again and we were like yeah and then he goes nice hair by the way to
00:31:45.600
my man and he was like oh thanks he goes looks really good that's why you got to write again yeah i was
00:31:50.400
like we got to write again because he was flirting with him and he was like hottie alert okay they can
00:31:55.660
go oh my you're like you follow my stuff he's like no the hair yeah and now he's like no you're a man
00:31:59.880
bitch no not you who are you not you i'll go oh my god i love that you love disneyland like yes
00:32:08.040
that speaks to my spirit i love it and i don't i just don't care like people like that's why the
00:32:12.800
subway takes of it i was like this is supposed to be i don't this is my subway take of subway takes
00:32:18.340
is it have an opinion that like people i'm not gonna like call anybody out that not that they
00:32:23.100
know who i am but some people just do their like the stupidest thing where they're like be nice to
00:32:26.780
each other it's like yeah of course racism's bad yeah you're like no like that's not a hot take
00:32:34.320
have something missy and marty did what do you know they the one where they said a couple shouldn't go
00:32:40.180
eat at restaurants obviously they're kidding and people were like me and my wife want to go to
00:32:44.340
oh so me and my loving partner of 20 years can't go eat okay i'm in a loving monogamous
00:32:49.860
relationship i'm going to get married i thought the shit was funny it was a joke yeah like it's
00:32:53.620
obviously a joke but if it's not that's even funnier exactly nobody's being oppressed for being in a
00:32:58.720
couple unless you're gay yeah in that in that case they are in the comments they would make you think
00:33:04.520
yeah like that and it was only straight people saying yes and i was like texting them i was like
00:33:08.560
welcome to getting your like beat the hell up on subway the subway takes of it all you're right yeah in
00:33:14.160
fact i thought of one i thought of one recently like a take i had that i think is is fun a fun
00:33:22.240
hot take that's not like offensive or oppressive but it did start a war when i did post about it
00:33:27.740
because when i used to tweet i used to love twitter but i deleted it years ago because it's annoying
00:33:31.360
same and gross now but like at the time one time at one point it was fun and it was when we were all
00:33:36.740
watching like the oscars and we were just tweeting yeah like oh my gosh or the game of thrones finale
00:33:40.780
like things like that me being like this sucks yeah exactly me fighting yeah on behalf of daenerys
00:33:46.440
targaryen right me acting like her counsel but i i remember one time i tweeted while i was doing this
00:33:51.820
for a living i tweeted like peanut butter and jelly is the worst sandwich combination in the history of
00:33:57.920
sandwiches and one day y'all will be brave enough to have that conversation with me and the the uproar
00:34:03.580
it started was like that's what i loved about twitter was like bullshit like that like we could debate
00:34:08.580
about shit like that and then it got less fun when someone they started saying shit like and this is
00:34:14.240
a direct quote that it was classist of me to believe that because some people can only afford peanut
00:34:19.620
butter and jelly it's yeah it's it's the most like i was like okay humor is dead um silliness is dead
00:34:26.520
nobody can be silly like nobody can be silly you can't be silly it's illegal for women especially to
00:34:30.940
be silly nice try you're gonna be silly that's a privilege you're like oh my god and i was like
00:34:37.820
okay i grew up broke too and that means and i hate it so now what it's the problem of the left is like
00:34:42.800
we me going i have the problem of the left actually like yeah we're right yeah we're trying to end each
00:34:49.420
other we're policing we're all saying a cab we're policing each other hello you guys all have mickey
00:34:55.060
mouse blue lives matter tattoos and i can see it two steps yeah i just start commenting that photo
00:35:00.820
people are like what does this mean yeah you're policing me um no yeah me when i'm this me oh my
00:35:06.160
god me when i'm annoying and it's fucking true like let's let a bitch be funny yeah let's joke let's be
00:35:14.360
silly and if you and this is what i do like go to your group chat right if you don't have one go to
00:35:19.520
therapy um sorry uh no but it is like well if you don't have one that means you don't have friends
00:35:24.700
and you know why because you're fucking annoying yeah that's why you're brutal you don't know how
00:35:28.580
to take a joke you don't know how to joke like sometimes when people ask me they're like how do
00:35:32.860
i make friends like brenny and caleb i go when you say friends like brenny and caleb do you mean
00:35:36.560
how can i be friends with brenny and caleb because i don't know how to tell you that yeah i can't tell
00:35:40.380
that to you but on the other side on the other side of it i think they just mean the closeness of
00:35:44.540
friendship like you have a lot of really close friends too like adult friends like we're all adults
00:35:48.440
and i so do i and i i really do think i'm like i think the younger generation struggles with
00:35:53.360
that yes possibly partially because of covid yeah but also i think because of the fact that
00:35:58.200
everybody is so um righteous and like the things they think and say even if we're aligned on
00:36:03.680
everything morally yes like some people can be so righteous and come off very judgmental yeah and
00:36:09.500
it's like how do you foster community like that when you don't allow room for growth exactly you
00:36:14.080
have to let people yeah make mistakes yeah obviously there is nuance there's things that we're going to
00:36:19.300
be like well that's you you're never going to be forgiven for that right exactly why did my mind
00:36:23.620
go harvey weinstein which is like the one my example where i'm like that one's true though that one's
00:36:28.220
like that's done yeah then there's things yeah that we can be like let's yeah exactly there's things
00:36:33.440
that matter but you have to go out and make friends it's fun yeah and like allow people the space to
00:36:39.760
breathe i guess that's my point like and i also i've said this before too because we're older i'm 30
00:36:44.620
how old are you 35 35 period you look great period by the way the girls on connor's tour of like 28 and
00:36:50.320
i go exactly when we like uh grew up right like we were in high school around the same time too like
00:36:57.120
i i i was like having this conversation once where i'm like it must it's a privilege and a and a
00:37:03.420
wonderful thing that you're growing up in a time where you understand certain things shouldn't be
00:37:08.400
joked about in a certain way which is not something that we had back in the day so like now are
00:37:14.200
there are things that i used to laugh at when i was in high school that are not funny and i know
00:37:18.040
that now because now i'm no longer an underdeveloped teen exactly but now that i'm an adult i know
00:37:22.520
what's funny and what's not and i know where the lines are right exactly but i think young people
00:37:26.780
growing up now think like oh well everybody knows that when they look like they try to go back 20
00:37:32.880
years and be like why would you ever ever joke about that and it's like well because at the time
00:37:38.280
it was different and it doesn't make it okay that's just the truth yes right know that i've grown if i was
00:37:43.020
if i was like that's funny then and now it's like okay well no yeah that's different yeah and that's
00:37:47.260
why you said context and nuance is important and unfortunately it's dead like on the internet
00:37:51.020
it doesn't exist bring it back it's so hard like it's it's hard to joke about stuff in a way that's
00:37:56.880
like a perfect example would be like sometimes i'll joke about things and i'm like if i gave that joke
00:38:02.640
yeah to a white straight guy doing stand-up he'd have a special tomorrow yeah he'd sell out
00:38:07.800
madison square garden yes off my fucking joke but if i tell it it must be a deeper thing that i
00:38:13.960
must believe because women just can't be funny exactly women can't just be funny they also have
00:38:19.280
to be like so tied to their empathy that everything i say and do is a reflection i'm exhausted of my
00:38:24.040
deepest darkest beliefs like you know what i'm saying a million percent even if i tell you
00:38:28.260
oh my god yeah so it can be frustrating yeah oh that's why the internet is is terrible in a lot
00:38:33.400
of ways yes because it's created that environment in the last like year like it's like i'm getting
00:38:37.840
the brick i'm like this that's not sponsored i got the brick the brick out because i'm like i need to
00:38:42.980
just like the comments don't even have to be negative but that they're just like a little weird
00:38:47.260
you're like this is still throwing me off today right i agree like it's the same yeah i read i wish
00:38:52.700
i could remember anything like people will always be like oh i read this article by so-and-so from this
00:38:56.660
i'm like i read this thing once don't know where it was don't know where it's from but i do know i read it
00:39:00.860
but i do know and it was like the about onion bagels like you could tweet like i love onion
00:39:05.680
bagels and someone will immediately be like and what about everything and even them it's not even
00:39:11.220
like necessarily they're like super negative but it's like it's enough for you where you're like
00:39:15.200
oh no i gotta argue about that or like now i'm in a bad place well they're like i don't know that
00:39:19.640
just feels like really insensitive to do that because some people with celiac can't eat gluten and
00:39:25.700
most bagels have gluten yeah then go to celiac twitter i don't know what to say
00:39:31.260
oh oh it was just a joke about peanut butter and jelly like that's literally why i was like it was
00:39:36.340
a joke about peanut butter and jelly and and how i just don't like that no that actually yours was
00:39:40.140
fucked up and you should be canceled i know a lot of people are shocked to hear that i hate that
00:39:45.400
sandwich combo but it's true i have since i was a kid i do like it but you know what's crazy is i
00:39:50.600
liked it even more when you would like make it and then it would like be in your locker for like
00:39:55.280
two hours and it's all soft yeah it's like warm that's twisted yeah i liked it i do like grape
00:40:03.020
jelly too which is like i think not what you're supposed to like yeah i think a lot of people
00:40:06.960
like strawberry yeah tea so whatever you guys like is what i like and also and even like uh they're
00:40:13.600
like you gotta try like did you try crunchy peanut butter did you try sourdough bitch i've tried it all
00:40:20.000
a sandwich of sourdough no it's just white bread i really just genuinely think it's nightmare
00:40:25.600
textures combined and i think you like soft i don't mind soft it's just like gooey and gloopy
00:40:31.440
and there's no meat in it like i was like there's no protein in it there's no veggie there's no nothing
00:40:35.580
of all the sandwich combos in the world yeah like you're telling me peanut butter and jelly
00:40:40.480
sits on the same tier as like a french dip no they're very no that's my point though that's what
00:40:46.740
i'm saying like if all the sandwich combos no no no yeah there's no way like if all like all of the
00:40:53.040
choices like and every single person is like oh it's nostalgic that's not what i'm talking about
00:40:56.920
no we're talking about off the table i'm talking about whether it can hold its own if we go to the
00:41:01.740
deli what that has like you know yeah like subs with turkey italian whatever and you're going i'm
00:41:07.880
gonna get the pv and j i'm walking out yeah exactly if we're in your house and you're like
00:41:12.480
oh i want to click i'm hungry i pv and j that's fine but i understand if you're or if we're ordering
00:41:17.480
you're a kid that's okay too yeah if you're a kid well no if you're a kid extra fuck you
00:41:22.480
my niece is like let me get the french dip i'm like you're vegetarian babe my niece is vegetarian
00:41:28.420
isn't that crazy really my choice or no uh her my brother and sister-in-law are vegetarian
00:41:33.600
vegetarian and their kind of thing which i think is cool is like they're like our house is
00:41:36.960
vegetarian so at a certain age she might be like i want to try meat actually she did try meat at her
00:41:42.260
school they gave her ham um on accident but i think she's like but she's very cute with us she'll be
00:41:47.620
like i'm vegetarian and i'm like yeah great i love that about her i know she gets something like a
00:41:53.640
little quirk yeah first quirk oh i mean they're already like my brothers live backyard to backyard
00:42:00.400
oh that's so nice which is your family lives very close yeah we all live like two minutes from each
00:42:04.760
other which is my dream i would love to buy a house like on their block i love that yeah you're close
00:42:09.640
to your family like us very close are you in your do you have two brothers or two older brothers
00:42:13.180
bart and liam bart liam maggie we're almost the simpsons i say this a lot um but bart was born before
00:42:20.680
the simpsons came out so we're family names but it just happens to be bart and maggie
00:42:24.080
interesting so they copied you guys yeah they copied us yeah um they're they're yeah they're like
00:42:29.140
we're very close we're five and eight years apart when i was younger of course i was like i want a
00:42:33.160
sister i hate you guys and now we're best friends they're very funny they're very um they're very like
00:42:39.860
sweet boys it's good to have i called my brother i did call him violently straight at one point
00:42:45.480
in a sense that i never have questioned his sexuality right i didn't mean toxically i'm
00:42:51.100
violently and he was he's still pissed every day oh i'm violently straight and his son painted his
00:42:56.940
nail he goes is this violently straight i said kind of yeah the fact that you're showing it to
00:43:00.660
me yes he's they're they're great yeah we they directed my solo show and like we write stuff
00:43:05.740
together that's so awesome they're cool that's so funny yours is uh your family's kind of the
00:43:10.140
opposite of mine like ours is two older girls yes youngest boy yeah so your parents wanted a girl
00:43:14.760
or did they uh i think they no i think they did i think they because they didn't know until i was
00:43:20.700
born and i was born on april fool's day whoa and i came out and the doctor was like it's a girl my mom
00:43:25.460
was like yeah all right bitch like it's a boy and they were like no it's a girl and they but then my
00:43:29.440
mom called my grandpa and my grandpa told my brothers who he was watching that i was twin boys
00:43:34.100
so they were like yes and then i came home and they were like fuck they're like that's a that's
00:43:39.920
actually a shitty girl yes this is a girl this is a girl what the hell we had like uh my mom my brother
00:43:47.280
is uh nine years younger than me and 11 years younger than my sister okay yeah so like quite a
00:43:51.440
significant age gap too but that was because my mom had the two of us unexpectedly okay and so my
00:43:56.580
brother was planned but my mom wanted a boy okay but my mom also didn't like she had no idea what
00:44:02.260
what the gender was obviously at a certain point but then like she said the night before she found
00:44:06.960
out the gender she had a dream that she was brushing my brother's hair like it was a boy and she was
00:44:12.220
brushing his hair and he looked exactly like how he did when he was born and this is obviously before
00:44:16.460
she had him and then she was like brushing his hair and she said she woke up crying and she goes i know
00:44:19.900
it's a boy i know it is and i know what he looks like and it was true i have goosebumps isn't that
00:44:24.700
crazy that is so sweet indigenous women intuition yes see i was like i saw you yeah she was like
00:44:30.420
trust me it's a boy she was so convicted oh my god like she was telling everyone that she saw him
00:44:37.460
is like i know it's not crazy yeah and it's funny because she was like no it's a boy even before she
00:44:41.900
found out yeah she's like it's a boy i just know it is oh my god i love when people are so wrong
00:44:47.320
when they're like you're showing big you're it's a boy and then it's like no it was a girl the whole
00:44:50.660
time the people that are just like like with the old yeah the old wives like i flipped a corner i
00:44:55.140
i never was a big baby were you guys big babies yeah uh i i wasn't um no but my brothers were i think
00:45:02.940
i was like seven pounds oh nice yeah my sister was a tiny baby and i still am um and now i'm 17
00:45:09.500
your brother was big yeah and i was big so like my mom the smallest baby was my sister who was the
00:45:15.620
oldest congrats so she was like congrats uh she was i think like eight pounds or something real
00:45:20.440
you're the oldest yeah can you believe that's okay and i'm saying this and this is exactly how
00:45:25.620
my brothers are my older brother is shorter than the middle one yeah people are always like well
00:45:30.100
you're clearly the older one and he's like because i'm taller yeah me too and i just did that to you
00:45:33.740
guys yeah that's so fucked up that's really i'm sorry yeah that's your prejudice yeah yeah um so
00:45:39.260
we uh i remember like she was like eight pounds i was almost 10 so i was nine pounds 12 ounces and
00:45:46.740
i was like your mom is such a little it's yeah she's so tiny yeah and i was like um 22 inches long or
00:45:52.300
something i was long as fuck so they knew i was gonna be tall and then my brother was 10 pounds 12
00:45:57.020
ounces so my brother was almost 11 oh my god yeah so he was a big ass baby yeah i don't remember what
00:46:02.140
my brother's weights were but i know they were big and my mom was like well especially your brother
00:46:05.940
who's six seven she'll remind them she'll be like i gave birth to you and you were huge and they're
00:46:09.620
like okay like yeah my man was like i think almost 12 pounds when my man was born so like he's big ass
00:46:15.820
baby and it was funny because when i look at like baby pictures of my man like when he was like three
00:46:21.720
he's like the size of an eight-year-old like and he's like he's always dressed like a dad because
00:46:27.260
those are the only clothes she could get to fit him like they were like small children clothes but
00:46:31.740
he was just like an old man like he was wearing like button downs and like he's in the deli ordering
00:46:36.280
the french tip yeah he's getting a french tip yeah if he ordered a french tip at the table it would
00:46:40.700
make sense because he was the he was the biggest baby i've ever seen like large ass baby you don't
00:46:47.820
want to have kids right no me neither yeah look at you and you're both your brothers had kids yeah
00:46:52.040
okay so that's lucky duck yeah i love him so much i know my sister's on the fence and she is a lesbian
00:46:56.820
and my brother is straight but i think he wants to be dead so i was like put your eggs in his
00:47:01.660
basket yeah yeah let's go yeah i found out pretty quick i was as like an adult that i didn't want
00:47:06.440
to have kids but i do want to be an aunt like you hearing about nieces and nephews it's the best
00:47:10.740
life i want i always like i want to be a fabulous aunt which i think i'm getting there where i just
00:47:14.760
like come in i'm like i was in paris i got you guys this and they're like no literally i said i
00:47:18.720
want to be a rich aunt like that's what i'm saying yeah i know caleb wants kids so i'm like
00:47:22.120
yeah perfect perfect yeah i mean i was like my other friends uh i know they want kids so i'm
00:47:27.380
like perfect perfect yeah i'm gonna be the best i have like a good group of friends from grade
00:47:31.820
school and high school oh love and they're all having kids now and i'm yeah i'm gaga that's what
00:47:36.180
my cute i was supposed to be geeky like maggie but my niece goes gaga i go awesome to hear um
00:47:42.740
so whatever you want queen yeah whatever you want and they are they're all so sweet but at the same
00:47:47.500
time i when we leave and everyone's like i have to go home and do bath time i'm like i get to go home
00:47:51.700
and watch plurbus like what you know what i mean like that felt like such an ad was like watch
00:47:56.780
plurbus on apple tv um you know what i mean like my brothers too like if we ever have a weekend as a
00:48:02.380
family and i get to like go home and like lay they're like oh my god like yeah i'm picking this
00:48:07.160
yeah no for real i i my i have two we have two dogs we have two frenchies i want a dog badly
00:48:13.200
i also love cats oh love i'm allergic oh damn but i love dog i love dogs and cats but i just think
00:48:21.120
dogs like are kind of more what i need because i know cats are very independent yes which is great
00:48:26.600
but i need something to need me like i was like i need so desperately for something to need me
00:48:30.840
so like i love uh having dogs and so like we have two frenchies oh and so they are very cute and they
00:48:37.300
are very i'll show you a picture right now i would love to see this is them stop what are their names
00:48:41.580
this is squid and this is tuna squid and tuna okay isn't that so cute i squid especially yeah
00:48:50.420
get over here squid yeah like you should hear me in the morning so i'm taking them i'm like squid
00:48:54.960
oh get over here and do you call them like 10 different names yes of course everyone who has
00:48:59.760
a dog to me is always like i'm like the dog's name is henry like
00:49:03.780
dason has a cat named henry she actually has two cats named yb and henry oh yb from coraline yes
00:49:11.380
making up i love coraline and she hates henry's name but that is unfortunately his name and that's
00:49:16.200
because her ex named it okay so she was like she goes that's why that name is stupid it's a stupid
00:49:22.260
ass name oh my god every time squid's a crowd pleaser every time i tell people my dog's name is squid
00:49:27.200
they're like oh my god that's such a good name i can't which is funny because i came up with squid
00:49:32.460
and my man came up with tuna so it really worked out together we were sitting up we had a cat growing
00:49:37.320
up which is crazy oh god when i like her and her name was smoochy oh cute smoochy cat which everyone
00:49:43.900
was like it should have been snowball like the symptoms because it's an all black cat and i was
00:49:46.840
like my mom went with smoochy smoochy cat it was so funny and then when she passed away i like came
00:49:54.260
back and i was like i want to get another cat and they got an allergy test and they're like the doctor
00:49:58.580
was like you're very allergic to cats and i got upset and she's like okay it's okay get a
00:50:02.440
small dog i go i was like get me the hell out of here a small dog that's that's very different
00:50:07.800
but you're right like i think if whenever i like a house and i want a dog that i can like
00:50:12.380
come home and they're like yes yeah that is true cats are just so independent and i and i had a cat
00:50:17.300
growing up i had a cat for like over 10 years what was their name his name was dexter dexter but my mom
00:50:22.960
has this weird thing about d names so like all of me and my siblings have the same exact initials so we're
00:50:27.720
all dta all of us and all of our animals we had as pets like we had quite a few pets growing up
00:50:34.000
um all dogs and cats for the most part but we did have a bird at one point my brother had a lizard at
00:50:38.700
one point like very weird we were my brother all brothers have a lizard yeah we had a lot of like
00:50:43.500
that dies under the lamp or something yeah what happened and then they're like i think it's still
00:50:47.360
in there like they haven't been checking on it like at all and like uh we i got the cat for my
00:50:54.140
birthday which i like was like cool with but i was kind of hoping for a dog but obviously i was a child
00:50:58.980
so i can't take care of the dog but we did have a snow dog at one point we had an english bulldog
00:51:04.860
we had two english bulldogs but one of them we found wandering it was very strange but like my cat i had
00:51:10.160
for a long ass time and i feel like he looked at me like a fat landlord like i was really like nothing
00:51:14.820
he was almost purely an outdoor cat which i know knock it off i was 12 like don't start with me
00:51:20.080
about this like cats should not be outdoors i know that i didn't know that obviously at the time
00:51:24.040
my cat was half outdoor it would it was he was like in and out it was scratch at the door and say let
00:51:27.620
me out yeah and he and he was prowling the neighborhood for all i knew oh but he was fixed
00:51:32.180
my cat was fixed you just go in the yard oh no mine like to walk the neighborhood but he always
00:51:36.360
came back oh my god and he would come inside he knew where home was yeah he knew he knows where
00:51:39.860
and his name was dexter and he did get ran over in my cul-de-sac oh after like having him and i
00:51:47.820
remember feeling so devastated when i found out because um you know there's always like one lady
00:51:53.560
in the neighborhood that's like neighborhood watch like she's she doesn't have a job but she knows
00:51:57.680
everything that's going on yeah so she's the one who brought my cat's body to my house but i remember
00:52:03.860
like when my mom told me the news i remember being like super upset even though i did love him but
00:52:09.520
like we did have a very strained relationship me and him like we didn't spend a ton of time i really
00:52:14.560
wanted him to cuddle with me i wanted to relate with me he just hated that like he never wanted
00:52:17.900
to do that and then morning that he got ran over i walked outside to go feed him like to out there
00:52:25.300
and like he had i had stepped on something squishy and i was like what the fuck no no no and then when
00:52:29.860
i turned on the light it was a dead bird and it was all bloody and it was all over my foot and i was
00:52:33.300
so disgusted i gagged and i had to pick it up and throw it away and then i was yelling at him and i was
00:52:37.420
like why would you do that even though i know it was like a gift yeah but i was like why would you
00:52:40.880
do that like it's all over me now and he just ate his food and fucked off he didn't care and then
00:52:44.480
then like he got ran over and then i couldn't stop crying because i really was like i the last thing i
00:52:50.000
said to him was to not bring me that bird oh so i had so much guilt in my heart when i was like 10
00:52:55.420
because i was so like oh my god it's a life lesson yeah i was like we had a fight
00:52:59.400
you never know it's the last time yeah and he was a siamese cat so he was real pretty
00:53:03.940
oh my god he's a pretty cat she would she would sleep like right here oh but then she was like
00:53:09.240
sometimes i want to pick her up she'd be like not now she also brought me a bird at one point so
00:53:13.380
then we had to get her a collar with a little bell because she was trying to get the bird
00:53:16.280
she's like we don't want we don't need that yeah i remember when she died i was like 22 and it's a
00:53:21.260
weird thing when you're like you're like upset and then your friends are like what's wrong
00:53:23.940
my cat died and they're like yeah okay um you know what i mean like you're like no this is my thing
00:53:28.580
it feels very serious but also unserious to other people yes you're like come take a shot you're
00:53:34.460
like okay and i wasn't home i was at college of all places yeah well what kind of dog would you want
00:53:41.040
i oh definitely obviously a rescue what if i was i want to make a little um i i don't know
00:53:48.460
a mutt i don't care yeah do you want i love i more so meant like big or small oh um no i knew
00:53:54.680
no no probably medium no i do know what kind i was asking what kind but you said foster so like
00:54:00.100
or well then you said what kind and i'm i panicked i won't lie i do love frenchies i do
00:54:04.300
i love them like not like wiener dogs but when they're like a mix and then they're like a little
00:54:08.640
bit bigger oh yeah i totally i totally know what you mean kind of like terrier mix like they look
00:54:13.660
like we need dogs but not you know that creator and we can cut this if abby oh yes yes i do know
00:54:20.120
her yeah well just in case it and you were like yeah don't no she has the cutest little dog
00:54:24.200
her little weenie dog yes yeah she's her name her dog's name's lady yes real her life i'm jealous
00:54:29.360
i was like and her like single girl new york apartment she comes to her dog and i'm like in
00:54:33.840
my parents attic like yeah one day i'll be there pinning to your vision board yes love that no i do
00:54:40.080
love a little dog like that's why like my dog's a rat dog yeah yeah not a rat dog but like a medium
00:54:46.240
yes small yeah i get what you mean that's how the frenchies are yeah exactly oh frenchies are so
00:54:51.240
cute yeah we fostered my tuna because tuna is deaf so like he's completely deaf but squid is not
00:54:57.340
to be like tuna yeah we have to we have certain signals like for him like to sit and stuff
00:55:02.760
shockingly but maybe not he was really easy to train when it came to eating because that's all
00:55:08.100
he gives a fuck i know about this like breakfast especially is like his favorite meal of the day
00:55:13.160
like he wakes up like oh my god i get to have breakfast today like kind of me too
00:55:18.280
yeah he's kind of real me and tuna are doing the same thing waking up excited
00:55:24.060
but he is like 100 deaf so like it is very sweet he's everybody's favorite dog when he comes over
00:55:32.780
because squid i love squid squid's very excitable like he's never mean never aggressive he's just like
00:55:38.420
very excitable and he does have alopecia so i think that does work against him so will he be bald
00:55:43.840
i he's balding right now but only on the back of his like butt but then it grew it was balding on
00:55:50.000
both sides and then it grew back in almost completely on one side and then the other side's getting bigger
00:55:54.680
i really have no idea whatever yeah and anytime i take them to the vet which is always obviously
00:55:59.840
they're always like i mean sometimes they do that like they're really unhelpful in a lot of ways but
00:56:07.420
what i was gonna say about my tuna like tuna my frenchie he recently we get them fixed and then
00:56:13.140
obviously i also get them this like soft palate surgery like they basically open their nose and
00:56:18.200
cut down that's what i've heard they can't really breathe well right yeah so i i got them both the
00:56:22.020
same surgery i can't breathe either i'm a frenchie as the person you're starting to really relate to
00:56:26.840
my frenchies yeah i come over i'm like laying with them and you're like and i never leave
00:56:31.380
you become our third frenchie oh my god that would be great that'd be what would you name me
00:56:36.900
i don't we were thinking about jellyfish if we got a third one that's me so we when we got tuna the
00:56:45.980
surgery recently he was doing great but like um because he is deaf he obviously relies on sight a
00:56:51.840
ton so he was on eight medications because a lot of them were sedatives because he's too excitable
00:56:58.480
oh because he's he can't hear so when there's a lot going on or he has a cone on or something it's
00:57:03.300
very overstimulating for him so he had to be on a lot of sedatives my point being he started just
00:57:07.960
pooping himself just randomly so i had to get doggy diapers right so he stopped rubbing poop on
00:57:13.300
everything and it was a torturous two or three days for a while like it was constantly changing the
00:57:18.880
diaper that's baby checking his right my point being we've already decided we don't want children
00:57:23.660
we just decided a long time ago shit like that literally and metaphorically speaking
00:57:28.820
i was like you know what that yeah now i i know for a fact that life's not for me no no fucking
00:57:35.540
way like he was rubbing shit on everything and when you watch the people that it is for them
00:57:40.360
i like watch them i'm like i don't have that me yes i agree i'm like you guys their arms are full
00:57:45.540
of their children's shit and they're like i love my life and you're like ah like you know what i mean
00:57:49.680
but like my friends who are mothers who like i just like watch them i'm like so amazed no me too
00:57:54.820
i'm like you have a superpower that i do not i don't have it yeah you have a superpower that i
00:57:58.820
do not have at all even my mom yeah like my mom is so gross not gross that like has the ability to
00:58:05.180
not be grossed out by anything i don't have that i don't have that we will cater the event
00:58:10.400
when we all hang out with the kids that's what our job will be exactly yeah i'm gonna get the best
00:58:15.360
christmas presents like birthday presents i'll get them like you know i'll do like fun make up a
00:58:21.600
holiday yeah they'll they'll come to you with their problems and you'll be like you should tell
00:58:25.820
your mom that's important i already have so much advice i want to give them yeah i'm like ready to
00:58:30.120
be like you're ready you don't have to be the drunkest at the party when you're 20 or you're
00:58:33.720
younger i started drinking at 16 oh so i'm like but i'm like you don't want to be the one whatever
00:58:37.900
this is we'll get to it later meaning me and my nephew and nieces like you'll address it one beer
00:58:44.040
you don't have to be like oh it's true yeah you got a lot of sage wisdom to pass off i'm ready i know
00:58:49.660
i agree and speaking of sage but maybe not wisdom oh i do have some fun facts about you
00:58:55.360
oh i knew this was coming yeah i'm a little nervous the fun facts are here and these ones
00:59:00.100
were done by laura this time and that's for the fans to know because amanda is on probation sometimes
00:59:06.800
because they're not no amanda is really good at finding facts but sometimes people go that's not
00:59:12.180
true and i go strike one okay so these ones were done by laura this time but okay first fun fact
00:59:19.480
it's this one says you were the first girl born in 80 years on your dad's side yeah and you were
00:59:29.040
born on april fool's day yes so my aunt that's crazy it was my aunt mary and then my dad and
00:59:34.880
uncles they had like my aunt had six boys my mom had two boys right there and then i they were just
00:59:40.200
like we're gonna have boys forever and then i was born on april fool's day so they were like
00:59:42.860
what the hell that's crazy i broke the curse and i was like the little baby angel girl for a while
00:59:48.760
it ends with you yeah it ends with me and then eventually my other uncle had a my girl cousin
00:59:54.760
grace so it was like interesting yeah isn't that wild and it's even funnier that you chose not to
00:59:59.660
have kids no that's not funny yeah i completed the prophecy by being born i know but then my brother
01:00:05.120
had a girl so oh okay okay yeah there you go that's good winnie winters my favorite name i know
01:00:11.040
it's great the name winnie for a baby is so cute our my great grandma was winifred so they were like
01:00:16.720
that is so fucking cute of course i love an old lady name yeah oh my full name is marguerite eleanor
01:00:22.780
winters love you're like she's about to die i'm like no i'm only 35 i love that though okay it says
01:00:29.720
your dad is obsessed with beans and really wants you to also like beans yes so he makes a 16 bean
01:00:38.260
soup yeah that's one of my stand-up jokes good good job um that's correct my dad and kind of my
01:00:45.020
whole family now like i just don't like beans i never have and i think they'd like any kind no
01:00:49.880
the most refried i say i can maybe fuck with you can you can stomach a refried yeah i just don't like
01:00:57.000
it's just the texture thing i just i'm not into it and they it drives my dad he's like beans are
01:01:02.160
good for you they are the you have to eat beans in your life and i'm like i just don't want to and
01:01:06.440
he's like he he's yeah and then for christmas my brother trolled me and got me a um that roll that
01:01:13.320
beautiful bean footage t-shirt you know um what's bush's baked beans yeah i'm wearing it every day it's
01:01:20.220
the comfiest shirt and people get beans i'm like i don't like them but i'm wearing it and it is ironic
01:01:25.160
that i'm wearing yes and you wouldn't know that do you like beans i like beans yeah most people do
01:01:29.860
most people are like i'm not like a bean freak no but i do like beans if you're vegan you have
01:01:35.240
to kind of be a bean that's true because my sister was vegan for a long time i wish she was in here
01:01:39.000
because one of the things we've made up on our what's funny is she was so i was like she oh she just
01:01:44.320
she's gone yeah she on our show together we've talked about like one time i was like well you
01:01:50.880
love beans yeah and she was like why are you saying it like that i was like you are you're
01:01:56.400
obsessed with you're nasty with the beans and it's because she was vegan for a long time so she was
01:02:00.520
like always fucking eating beans like yeah of any variety really but she was like really fucking with
01:02:06.180
i do love a bean salad yeah i've had a bean salad before and it's really yummy i'm scared you're just
01:02:11.720
not fucking with it it's funny that your dad gets so mad to the point where he's like sputtering
01:02:15.980
about you just he's literally like like it's like almost like to him it's like liking beans brushing
01:02:19.920
your teeth you have to do both you have to do both and he he makes so much i mean him and my mom are
01:02:25.600
vegetarian well he wouldn't say he's a vegetarian but he eats very vegetarian because she's vegetarian
01:02:30.100
okay um which she said god told her like five years ago she's like to be vegetarian that's in a
01:02:34.560
different podcast um that's a whole different podcast and they like make a ton of beans and i'm like
01:02:40.140
can you get me a rotisserie chicken like that's even funnier that your mom's only vegetarian because of
01:02:45.600
god well she like told she that's funny she said in a dream like god told her to be vegetarian
01:02:51.500
i i mean i believe she also told me because i think she was scared to tell me that part that she like
01:02:56.500
would listen to an npr thing and then i don't know either way she's a vegetarian and all my love
01:03:03.780
half my family is the other half were crazy for me and it's hard i really do find that shocking that
01:03:09.820
your family is from chicago and vegetarians well yeah like an oxymoron me it is like
01:03:15.500
i'm kind of like we gotta go let my dad will eat meat every once in a while and then he'll be
01:03:19.060
like i can't have meat for another six months i'm like yes you can i'm eating chicken every day
01:03:24.280
and i understand guys like there's problems with like the meat industry i i have a family that tells
01:03:30.300
me enough okay i'm trying to eat the good stuff but then sometimes i'm yeah taco taco bell is a good
01:03:37.280
one because they have so many bean things you know what i mean your dad hates taco bell i know i told you
01:03:42.420
but i mean like i just find that ironic your dad hates taco bell but because he'll make they do
01:03:48.140
have a lot of bean options there he eats like a bird that's overall not my thing that i'm not eating
01:03:54.840
like a bird ever and he's always like oh i'll just have a little hummus i'm like oh i'll eat hummus i
01:04:00.160
do like hummus chickpeas i like chickpeas i like hummus but i do need a chip to eat it with
01:04:05.020
of course oh he's having it like on top you think he's scooping it no i'm like dip i walk into my
01:04:10.480
dad has like a spoon like peanut butter on a spoon he eats peanut butter and jelly a lot vegetarian
01:04:16.260
well yeah yeah and if you think about it too like sometimes there's a lot of things that are like
01:04:21.780
oh like oreos are vegan amazing you know what i mean for who i don't know for yeah like they're
01:04:26.800
like vegan vegetarian my point being like you're like oh that's naturally healthier is what you think
01:04:31.800
that's not but then you think about like an oreo is vegan and that's you know well my parents eat
01:04:37.180
so much and i'm not like i'm not saying carbs are bad i get scared and i'm like don't come out but
01:04:42.260
um they eat tons of pasta pizza you know what i mean love that it's amazing at the very least you
01:04:48.660
have my dad's also getting the bread that's like straight up seat like birds are like trying to get
01:04:53.560
at it you know what i mean like it's so heavy and crunchy you're like what's going on here what is
01:04:57.620
he's a healthy guy yeah i can't i can't relate to that feeling except for carrie gold he slathers
01:05:03.760
that stuff like this thick i do love carrie gold so good i dm'd them this last year and i said put
01:05:09.760
me in the butter club now and they did i was like you just have to threaten brands put me in the
01:05:15.520
butter club now i have 40,000 followers now that's really good they sent me so much cool stuff holy
01:05:21.400
shit put her in the butter club it's so funny because i'm gonna leave here and do that yeah i actually
01:05:26.600
love carrie gold it's oh and like the swag they sent was the best swag i've ever gotten
01:05:31.240
and then they sent me a whole nother package of butter and cheese that's my demand yeah make
01:05:38.280
demand ask for what you want 2026 yeah yeah close mouths don't get fed no if you want carrie gold
01:05:44.140
you go ask for carrie gold you go straight to carrie gold if you want it i've i was uh talking about
01:05:50.460
this with caleb um because this is something my family and i joked about but like you i think
01:05:55.260
who's caleb yeah loosely familiar he's he's coming up and i'm really proud of him yeah he's
01:06:00.100
yeah good luck to him i hope he makes it one day uh i wish i could share his stuff i just am not
01:06:04.460
really into it yeah well yeah that's because of how he votes me every day that's why i'm not really
01:06:10.440
aligned morally um we were joking about this in ireland but i was telling him like
01:06:15.020
a real like big bitch meal like like my favorite kind of meal where i'm like eating like an asshole
01:06:22.060
yes right and and like my best example is um costco like love the way i used to eat at costco
01:06:29.660
i couldn't do it now because i would shit myself but like there was a time where i was trained like
01:06:35.780
almost training like a competitive eater yeah eating there because my man and i would literally get
01:06:40.860
a chicken bake each yes and you know how big they are yes so we get chicken bake each house it kill
01:06:47.420
it but we would also get i would get a soft pretzel like a big pretzel he would get a hot dog kill that
01:06:53.400
too obviously i'd have a large soda finish that i haven't had lunch yet yeah and then and then like
01:06:58.640
two hours later we would be like popeyes for dinner yeah and then we would eat popeyes i
01:07:05.220
so i ever seen a video of like keto people that were like i'm scared to even say it they'd be like
01:07:12.360
come to come to costco and get a keto meal they would take a hot dog out of the bun put it on the
01:07:17.240
pizza wrap it in the cheese take it off the like crust and eat it and i said i have to call i have to
01:07:24.060
put on my mickey mouse blue lives matter and call the police because this is very scary rolling a hot
01:07:30.580
dog grosser than just eating both things individually exactly that's like way grosser
01:07:34.900
and they were like look at this amazing idea and people do you want me to you want me to
01:07:37.700
wrap it in the cheese like cotton candy like yes going like this yes roll and also it's like i
01:07:43.600
understand fucked up foods of course like do that at home or bring it home and pretend you're eating
01:07:48.100
normal and then and don't post a video on the internet yeah like don't go in public i've ate crazy
01:07:53.380
shit when i was in college i was eating some of the craziest shit me too but it wasn't it was never
01:07:58.500
like that no it was in a real it was in a real like i i i don't care we're broke and i don't
01:08:04.900
right i want to have food before i go and i'm starving yes it was like death row meal like that's
01:08:09.740
how i was eating it was like 10 000 calories a sitting yes i was like really trying to hit that
01:08:14.560
number it was almost like i was trying to hit a quota at one point how i was eating yes but that
01:08:18.440
type of shit is like avoiding carbs which i think is like oh yeah they're like we're keto yeah which is
01:08:23.320
stupid or yeah whatever like that's almond mom likes two steps it's like a new wave of almond
01:08:28.260
mom yeah keto moms yeah and i just love that they're like this is our little fucked up and i
01:08:32.900
was like watching the video like you said this in one of your podcasts this is like totally different
01:08:36.700
thought but that you watch um a certain tv show oh like or like the mommy vloggers because it's not
01:08:41.860
your life yes and i watch a lot of yeah i watch a lot of shows that are like like i think i watch
01:08:48.140
the kardashians because i'm like this will never be my life so it's so interesting to me that they're
01:08:51.900
so rich and i love watching it it's anthropology really yes cultural anthropology studying it i'm like
01:08:56.400
this is amazing it is like that is how i feel about mommy vloggers like i see them all the time
01:09:00.720
and when i see those little like spend the morning with me as a mom of four i'm obsessed i love it
01:09:06.900
especially when they're moms like when they have a fuck ton of kids like i'm like yeah yeah i'm
01:09:12.340
watching this five minute vlog yes that's why i think if it's a comedian being like come with me to
01:09:15.900
a show i'd be like i'm already doing that well you know what's funny is i talked about this her name
01:09:20.220
is courtney but she's the girl who eats the sweet potato with the big ass block so i talked about her
01:09:26.560
i was calling her the plowman's lunch lady because she used to be like have a plowman's lunch and i
01:09:31.000
talked about it on this fucking show yes like midway last year nobody had ever heard of this girl
01:09:36.340
and i literally was like this lady eats just in insane combos like her combos are shocking and
01:09:45.120
she takes the biggest bites i've ever seen like it's real anaconda like unhinging the jaw like
01:09:51.480
it's almost like you could just take a smaller she just go to pick up the sweet potato is crazy
01:09:57.420
to put your mouth respect your entire mouth around the circumference of a sweet potato like okay bitch
01:10:03.520
i'm giving it off hats off to you hats off and i watched her once this is before she blew up because
01:10:08.220
she blew up recently but i watched her once i used to watch her for hours i would just scroll down
01:10:13.340
watch everyone and there was one where she was eating that that plowman's lunch thing like she
01:10:18.680
had just the most insane like those pickled onion balls she had like cheese and like the all those
01:10:24.700
weird little sauces she likes and and just a green onion eating it like a carrot that i was like that
01:10:29.560
to me that worries me the green onion thing is crazy and so then she's eating like that she goes oh i
01:10:34.360
need a drink and she reaches out camera and brings a drink and it's a ghost which is an energy drink
01:10:39.820
there's about 200 milligrams of caffeine in that hole blue raspberry flavored cracks it starts
01:10:44.940
chugging it i'm obsessed with this bitch her a reality show i'm obsessed with this bitch oh oh my
01:10:51.660
god and the funniest comments to me before she like blew up were like she would have comments like
01:10:56.500
you know i used to eat like this too and then i went to the doctor and i got diagnosed with pica so
01:11:00.660
you should probably go and get checked they would write shit like that holy shit why do you write
01:11:06.000
shit like this on people's i don't really think they're sharing the information they're like you
01:11:10.380
should go get checked like okay maybe she's just got a weird palette that's okay yes there was a weird
01:11:16.200
moment when like people were like everyone was diagnosing everyone with autism it's kind of still
01:11:21.400
happening oh totally i'd watch a video of someone like curling their hair and the first comment would
01:11:25.120
be like how you curled your hair maybe autistic and you're like you get either you're 11
01:11:30.400
relax wait can i talk about i really i think this is the right podcast to talk this about
01:11:37.860
my passion on my my for you page oh please please do you ever watch the guy friend friendliest catch
01:11:45.420
take the um things off crabs yes yes i have yeah the little like what are they called
01:11:52.100
mollusk or like something yeah barnacles barnacles yeah and he cuts them off i yes i was never into
01:11:58.880
like pimple popping but the way that he cracks and when tiktok was about to go down i go i need a
01:12:04.020
couple of those videos i was like download download download it's so he's like and he's like so funny
01:12:09.940
he's like let's get him off and i'm like this is the it's like the crunch i want to do that so bad
01:12:15.080
if that is a thing that i could do please i'm threatening him in the comments i'm like put me on the boat
01:12:20.960
now yes retinum oh you know what that that's similar have you seen the guy who does the cow
01:12:28.200
hooves like he gets white line lesions in their hooves like he like cut it to me rachel yeah i was
01:12:33.860
gonna say though if you like that barnacle thing i think you'll like holy shit because i was similar
01:12:38.020
to you where i didn't i don't like the pimple popper stuff but when i saw the cow hoof guy i said
01:12:44.100
now hold on yeah like then there is something for everybody let me look into this yeah and i was like
01:12:49.220
because i don't really care for asmr either no i don't like it and i especially don't like eating
01:12:53.520
ones i i really hate the noise of that stuff so like i don't like that kind of asmr i don't like
01:12:57.660
asmr at all really but that shit i was like there's something about this that i feel like yes and then
01:13:03.860
you start learning the terminologies like he's like white line lesion like this is a white line
01:13:07.240
lesion and then he'll like he'll like click off the little hoof oh i would love that yeah if you
01:13:13.280
like the barnacle guy i think i'm gonna love the calf the dairy hoof guy the dairy hoof it's like
01:13:17.560
dairy cows that's who he focuses on thank god and he like does voiceovers and like sometimes i'll hear
01:13:22.560
him going like also guys like i have been doing this for like well over 10 years like you guys don't
01:13:28.060
need to give me advice like once again there's people in the comments i was like let him do his
01:13:32.360
job they went to a farm one time they're like i actually yeah this cow has autism yeah same joke we
01:13:39.140
got yeah we got the way you clipped that poof i think you may have yeah oh my god no you guys
01:13:44.640
positive comments only 2026 i actually keep i need to tell people i'm having to break down
01:13:52.620
2026 2026 there's a new rule you can't comment anything negative on either of our profiles right
01:13:58.760
exactly that's the law that's the decree now i just wanted people to know yeah they should yeah
01:14:02.960
and also like i said this too because when i was in ireland for new year's i watched uh the
01:14:08.880
stranger things finale same now i wasn't in ireland though now i will say this i have never
01:14:15.280
watched that show i watched all of season three with my sister because she wanted to watch the
01:14:19.340
new season when you didn't see one or two no and i haven't watched since but they all wanted to
01:14:23.900
watch the finale and i'm someone who doesn't really care about spoilers so i was like yeah sure why not
01:14:28.020
and like i'm watching and i'm like who's that who's that and then halfway through i was explaining
01:14:32.760
stuff like i was like well clearly this is happening because like i know anything and i pointed i
01:14:38.300
like talked about it i was like these are my thoughts like these are just my random thoughts
01:14:41.080
as someone with no stake and hasn't watched the show literally ever oh and i had quite a few
01:14:45.400
thoughts but like they were real normal but i i like was messaging amanda about it because i was
01:14:51.140
like i have never seen this show and i had a blast i enjoyed myself i cried i i literally cried like i was
01:14:56.780
like oh my god they're just kids i never watched them when they were kids they were just kids like
01:15:02.140
you got it okay i felt moved sorry and so i talked about it i was like wow this is great
01:15:07.160
and amanda was like this is t i might do this with game of thrones and like just watch the finale and i
01:15:11.720
go honestly i'm enjoying things i do not understand in 2026 that's my new thing yes i don't understand
01:15:17.140
it i'm gonna enjoy it like yes that's what i think we should apply to these comments you don't
01:15:21.260
understand it that's okay like i didn't understand the plowman's lunch lady but i was enjoying her and if
01:15:25.600
you watch my video and you don't get it keep scrolling it's okay like enjoy it for what it is
01:15:30.040
the emoji the heart this that's and i'll know i'll go you didn't get it but you're here
01:15:34.660
that's awesome yeah i was like enjoying things i don't understand yes i think that's fun or moving
01:15:40.600
on from things that you don't want to get into yeah or just like not for me i was gonna say since
01:15:45.060
you're a disney adult do you have any fave disney creators like do you ever see any disney people
01:15:48.660
of course um i have a few suggestions um i do i just became friends with i think his name is jay
01:15:53.760
spence okay he fought he followed me and i was like oh like sometimes you don't i don't follow
01:15:59.700
people because i'm like i don't know you want to have a little follower i'm trying to be cool
01:16:03.600
guys i'm 35 um he like does all the food stuff and i was like i love like knowing what snacks to
01:16:08.600
eat i love that girl that works out at epcot and she looks like a princess i love if she goes walk
01:16:13.340
get ready to work out with me and she does a 10k and she's dressed like fully like aurora yes aurora
01:16:19.380
and then she spreads the glitter on her chest in another world in another world that's me
01:16:23.940
i like to say in an alternate timeline i have five kids i'm walking epcot every day yeah and a
01:16:30.320
matching bow yes and hair yes yeah i saw her tea i clocked her tea the other day yes i oh we have
01:16:37.780
to give it up for the part the plus size park hopper oh my god i love those if you come for them
01:16:43.600
come for me first for real although the rule is you have to be nice to me so good luck they are
01:16:49.540
doing the lord's work i love them they trigger people so bad and i'm like they're literally being
01:16:54.820
so sweet and so sim you could just be like oh that's not for me i'm i'm i'm jacked to hell i don't
01:16:59.080
need this instead people are like how dare you no i love jacked as hell i don't need this
01:17:07.600
can you imagine there's men there's men saying that i wish they would say that but the plus size
01:17:13.900
park hoppers if when i go to disney world if i see them i'll cry i love them they're so amazing
01:17:19.280
and they're also like on a very literal scale like they are making a difference like they are
01:17:24.560
genuinely giving information that matters it fucking matters some people are too afraid to
01:17:29.500
even try so it matters like that's what i was like it as corny as it sounds representation
01:17:34.280
fucking matters and universal like you're less likely to fit on rides as a bigger person just
01:17:39.040
how it is yeah and they're like let me show you and then this is my size and so it's like i can
01:17:43.760
save myself the embarrassment yeah that's why i said they're making a huge difference yes and they
01:17:47.980
they trigger people who are insecure and hate themselves like that's really the only people
01:17:51.840
they trigger but like i love them i think they're fucking awesome same some of my other favorite
01:17:55.760
disney creators say it blake's pop nook we love blake my sister and i love blake and i talked to him
01:18:00.880
recently i she's like a big pin collector okay and so i was actually messaging him the other day and i
01:18:06.020
was like i have some pins um do you want them like they're like limited edition like vip ones or
01:18:11.560
whatever and he was like i would love them i was like okay cool i'll give them to you
01:18:16.180
are you pin collector no but that's really sweet it is quite the world my mom is the one that got
01:18:21.420
me into disney and she like we would go to disney we never like got merch we weren't allowed to like
01:18:26.020
pin collect yes it's like which is almost like sicker you're like we're gonna go and like not
01:18:30.340
experience everything yeah we're gonna get edged like everything she's like you're gonna window shop
01:18:36.260
i know no truly like we weren't and there was nothing like in our house that was like disney
01:18:40.560
no same we're almost secret which is yes it's kind of sicker yeah but um i love like like yesterday
01:18:46.560
i bought a hat that has a little mickey on it i'm excited for that i kind of getting i think i was
01:18:50.620
like shamed right now i'm like i'm gonna wear my disney shit i don't care me too i have a tower
01:18:54.400
of terror shirt that looks like a rock and roll band okay t people are looking there going oh wait
01:18:58.560
that's disney i love the little hats i can't wear the ears unfortunately because they are too small
01:19:05.060
for my big head really yeah they hurt my head i have a big head and i have one girl my head
01:19:09.540
but it is true at the end of the day you're going i can't wear these well yeah and also my
01:19:12.800
head's like big for real like i think it doesn't look as big as it is but if i right but if i was
01:19:18.960
like if i bicked my whole head one day it would be enormous which is a feeling i get sometimes yeah
01:19:24.260
i'm close oh about two steps you know it depends on not today i don't want please yeah yeah i was like
01:19:30.160
i had you know had to come in today i'll save that for the weekend but i do love megan the magical
01:19:35.580
millennial she's awesome okay i'm gonna look up these people yeah i love when they go on the
01:19:39.380
disney cruises because i'm never gonna go on a cruise i don't i'm scared not scared but i just
01:19:44.060
don't yeah yeah being trapped on a ship is not my idea of a good time and i just i've seen titanic
01:19:49.260
i don't trust y'all even after titanic that one where everyone was like shitting themselves
01:19:54.320
because there was no like oh the poop cruise yes yeah or even amy bradley she went missing
01:19:58.320
on a cruise do you think she's alive no i honestly think she's dead okay which i did argue
01:20:02.460
with robbie hoffman about oh yeah you did robbie hoffman asked you're wrong yeah she was like okay
01:20:07.140
well you're super wrong so i'll just say why i'm not wrong and i was like okay that was such a wild
01:20:11.580
one oh i love yeah robbie is unreal i love her yeah me too but i think it's like i love the disney
01:20:19.560
adult like there's one girl i i used to watch all the time i don't even remember her name if i did i
01:20:23.840
would plug her and then she would get super famous it's for some reason that always happens
01:20:26.980
when i plug people on here but there was a disney splinters you're like you're on the podcast girl
01:20:33.160
she um she lives it like in florida so she lived but she lives on those properties where they're not
01:20:40.140
the themed houses not celebration but they're like no but they're like on the property almost like it's
01:20:45.600
like those track homes you know they sell like track homes i'm telling you like if something wrong
01:20:49.940
goes goes wrong in my life i'm i'm done there pivoting there and i'm not not i'm not trying to be
01:20:54.340
rooted them it's like for me it would just be like i'm giving up on comedy and i'm blogging all
01:20:58.360
day long in disney oh there's a one girl that like she's like i live at disney and i like eat all the
01:21:03.120
food did you know that oh i probably i mean i'm sure i've seen her i i wish i need to remember
01:21:08.680
people's handles and names when i'm like yeah the girl i used to see she her husband was like a
01:21:13.280
firefighter or something so she was like he worked really weird hours so she was always going like
01:21:17.880
during she would go every day every single day and she would go to a different park and she would
01:21:22.120
always theme her outfit but not disney bounding she would just like do like one color and then
01:21:26.820
she would pick one little thing to like tag on her bag she wore the same outfit same vibe same theme
01:21:31.880
everything was exactly the same i was like it felt like that episode of spongebob where
01:21:35.260
squidward moves into that neighborhood and he does the same thing oh yeah that's like kind of what it
01:21:39.400
looked like oh my god yeah i was like how is it possible that this girl has a tennis skirt in every
01:21:44.960
color for every princess like what are the odds she's really trying yeah she's matching to the ears
01:21:49.100
to the little bag i had a lot of fun when i worked there but i also worked every holiday and every
01:21:53.740
night because when you're an intern yeah like they give you the worst ones yeah yeah so every holiday
01:21:59.940
and every night and at some point and then i was spending my days off back in the parks so it was
01:22:03.860
like 24 7 where i was like i have to go you know what i mean like i need a break i'm i'm everything's
01:22:09.180
mickey shaped that i'm eating i have five roommates like i don't know what i'm doing here and also like
01:22:14.760
i'm so pale and i get burnt so easily like florida it was not for me and like also orlando is
01:22:20.600
landlocked it's like if i'm gonna live in florida right i mean you're the ocean that's true um but
01:22:25.060
i did i yeah i was i worked like new year's eve and they did the the 10 9 8 like in fireworks that
01:22:32.100
was the coolest fireworks i ever saw damn although somebody tried to go on my ride like right before
01:22:35.860
midnight they're like we're gonna go on i go no oh well the fireworks are like well we don't really
01:22:40.140
know if i want to see them i was like please i want to see them which disney probably would have
01:22:43.400
hated that i did good thing you don't work there anymore yeah oh i had some of the most yeah that
01:22:48.900
was that was fun we went you know there's a subway below i have to ruin everybody's it's a night i hope
01:22:54.640
it's not still there i worked at subway too so when i came to disney and saw the subway i was like don't
01:22:58.920
you fucking bitch you're following me everywhere leave me alone they're like you want to be a
01:23:03.780
sandwich artist still no i don't when we went last year we also went to universal too so we yes we're
01:23:09.240
going to one yeah we did um the new epic thing like with how was it it was awesome we one of the
01:23:15.520
first rides we went on was the lady was explaining to us it's like it's kind of like a a seat where
01:23:21.000
like it swings yeah but like it's like a thing you can swing side to side and it has dragon wings on it
01:23:27.200
and if you swing hard enough at the right times you can flip all the way around but she was saying
01:23:31.680
it doesn't happen that often and we were like okay and i was like i'm not doing that because i'm
01:23:35.580
going to get motion sickness because it's also going like up and down at the same time so it's
01:23:39.300
like a lot but we were like yeah let's go on it and like one of the guys in our party he was like
01:23:44.440
i'm gonna try to do the flip thing and we were like okay so as we started he was rocking back and
01:23:49.800
forth like hard as hell to the point where they're like hey like okay enough for a second give it a
01:23:54.840
second and then it finally took off and he did it like three times in a row and then he said he was so
01:23:59.960
nauseous the whole time he couldn't enjoy it oh well yeah i was like well that's what you get for
01:24:02.680
showing off that's it for three times i bet you learned your lesson didn't you how how big is
01:24:06.740
the crew that you went with down there i think it was six eight nine ten ten of us okay my family
01:24:13.920
will be ten yeah it was like the perfect size okay yeah three children so those are like a little bit
01:24:18.800
yeah not as fun but we did do like the monster universe over there i've never done that one where
01:24:23.480
it's like frankenstein like yeah this one some of their rides are scary as hell like jurassic park
01:24:28.560
scary scary as fuck that king kong ride oh i haven't gone on the king kong oh girl i have
01:24:34.040
i have megalophobia so looking at that giant gorilla was a little what is megalophobia megalophobia is
01:24:39.520
when you're afraid of things that are like really really large but like things that aren't you had
01:24:42.520
another thing the other day yeah it was like a different thing yes my pal what did you say
01:24:47.280
it starts with an a oh no well i am agoraphobic but that's different i know what you're talking
01:24:54.340
about no what did i tell you something it was a different phobia i do watch yeah we'll fit well
01:25:01.060
we'll see we'll start a list if they tune into yours they'll see we'll start a list um oh my god
01:25:05.980
yeah so megalophobia is my big thing it's most mostly mammals like mammals that are too big yeah
01:25:10.480
so like i love the avatar movies like the blue alien ones but like when i do see their fake bodies
01:25:15.660
at like disney world and stuff i am a little afraid i know i am frightened looking on the river
01:25:19.300
ride when the big guy you're like they smell they're like we spent six million dollars on this
01:25:23.940
i'm like okay and then the little scary yeah yeah well and not the rest of the ride clearly
01:25:30.440
did you want the et ride we did and honestly really fucking cute it's the cutest is my sister was like
01:25:37.800
that was my favorite ride i was like of course it was we just made my nephew and niece watch it
01:25:43.760
because we're gonna go and they were like my niece is sick so she got it she was sobbing oh my
01:25:48.740
nephew was kind of like oh yeah and then my younger nephew who's three was like i don't care where's
01:25:53.280
ice cream like i don't care about this alien okay movie over when they say your name at the end
01:25:57.940
spoiler i know i know they only said um like the people on the end because we were our party was
01:26:05.080
split up racist okay yeah right no they really only said like the white people in our party's names
01:26:09.940
which is funny because one of them his name is steven that's the one who flipped they're like steven
01:26:13.620
we were like oh my god who said that because they didn't say everyone's names so it was only like
01:26:20.080
one or two freaky yeah so that one is so cute though it's so cute and it's old as hell that ride
01:26:26.120
i love it yeah i love it the whole thing is so cute and it's air conditioned so that's nice please
01:26:31.500
the indoor rides are nice we went on pirates yesterday because we were feeling hot yeah it was
01:26:35.340
just so we were just like oh in here like loving pirates yeah i'm loving the smell it's amazing i've
01:26:41.140
said before if you go on space mountain and you sit with your whole party sometimes if you're too
01:26:46.400
heavy they make you get off and split you up did you guys know that oh did y'all know that they have
01:26:51.580
a weight limit there holy one time me and all my family were sitting in one and then they were like
01:26:56.680
the guy was mind you this had already happened to us once where they made us deep yeah
01:27:00.540
too many big bodies on this one split them up and then they would like put someone in the back car
01:27:06.400
like so balanced which is humiliating but you know so we were used to it but then one time when we
01:27:12.360
pull up it's like when it stops right there it's like weighing it like they're like weighing it which
01:27:16.740
we didn't know so it's like stop there and then the guy that like goes like pulls the thing for you
01:27:21.300
he goes too heavy too heavy no not too heavy okay you guys are good that is not something they
01:27:28.420
probably don't want them to say that and then when we did take off we did cheer we were like we made
01:27:32.960
wait they have they have a big seat in the harry potter ride it's like three three normals and one
01:27:40.000
big and you know my ass tried to sit in normal they said and over here and over here i was like what
01:27:45.420
we have a special seat yeah no i noticed it i was like oh oh okay click like okay oh my god
01:27:52.140
no message received thank you and that one's like moving so they're like hurry
01:27:55.300
don't sit in that one oh my god yeah my my my plus side power covers would have told me
01:28:02.040
yeah it's weird should have checked in with them i know me too okay and we'll kind of go through
01:28:06.900
these oh this says you used to work in tomorrow land of disney world which talked about one time
01:28:11.200
had to cancel the parade due to weather and an angry customer yelled at her you're going down like
01:28:15.540
sears yes he said the parade's canceled i said dinner's lightning we don't want the performers to
01:28:20.340
get hurt he goes you're going down like sears and when i see you in the street i won't give you a
01:28:25.980
dollar and i was i had my college on my thing i was like well i just graduated college i don't think
01:28:30.800
so also sears what he said disney world was going down like sears to me i was like great and i have
01:28:37.180
to be like oh you specifically yeah me specifically and i had to say the thing we just go like have a
01:28:41.560
magical day it's like your way to be bitchy because you can't say anything mean all right sir
01:28:48.740
have a magical day a girl a woman came up to me she goes are all you cast members fucking and i was
01:28:54.340
isn't that insane what kind of pervert like what are you doing
01:28:59.840
you're like you're not like interested you're like i don't care about mickey or anything
01:29:03.600
are these sickos having sex with each other are the people operating these heavy machinery rides
01:29:10.000
yes having sex with each other crazy there was a what would that information give you you think i
01:29:15.420
don't i was like okay i don't think i said anything also we had a christian night where
01:29:19.620
they would you had we couldn't do the um people mover because it got because the teens would like
01:29:25.940
get horny in the dark so they shut down the people mover they're like we're not doing this
01:29:31.500
right because the teens are a little handsy and we there's a camera we can see everything it's like
01:29:36.420
yeah they're left alone for two seconds in the dark they're like ah like isn't that sick and it
01:29:42.180
really you are not in the dark for that long no not that long at all people they take they took
01:29:46.240
what they could get yeah they made that 15 seconds oh my god too horny in the dark sorry got off guess
01:29:53.720
what no more people mover oh my god it was yeah it was fun oh we had like um when we were in high
01:30:01.300
school they used to have grad night yes and they used to like rent out disneyland so like
01:30:05.400
when i think the year before my sister graduated she was like one grade above me and my man was in the
01:30:11.220
same grade as her uh the year before that they changed the schedule so they put graduation after
01:30:17.380
grad night it used to be you know it used to be right after graduation like then you would go
01:30:20.840
straight to grad night but then they switched it because people were being insane at disneyland and
01:30:26.380
then so they use it as a threat like if you act insane you're not going to graduate you're not
01:30:31.140
going to walk so like it was like it had to be moved because people were being that bad at grad night
01:30:36.700
which is crazy already because they're already renting it out and putting a bunch of teens in there
01:30:40.740
which seems like bad already like disneyland it's like what are you gonna right and i also
01:30:44.760
had snuck into grad night at least three times before i even went because i figured out how to
01:30:49.100
do it and so my friends and i would just go and do it now i don't think you could do it if they did do
01:30:53.180
that to be like tell me how yeah but at the time like it was nice because then there's no line or
01:30:57.900
anything but we were also teens too so like we would blend in now i think i would stand out pretty
01:31:02.580
yeah but i do remember my senior year when we went to grad night um they only did california
01:31:10.860
because disneyland was like rented out for something else like it was like a celebration
01:31:14.340
whatever so they only did california which already kind of sucked but then they like roped off
01:31:21.020
flow's cafe you know in cars land why they roped off the whole thing they made it like a club
01:31:26.260
oh that's fun and then they were playing like the nastiest hip-hop music which i thought was like
01:31:32.400
shocking because it's in disneyland and i don't know who the dj was and don't get me wrong i was
01:31:37.500
shaking ass and that thing i just couldn't believe it now every time i walk by it i think about that
01:31:41.580
i was drinking a coke zero there yesterday in peace while my friend rode the cars ride for the
01:31:47.240
second time you know what's funny what i wore to my grad night too was like short shorts were in at
01:31:52.040
the time of course but i wore this t-shirt that my sister got me as like kind of a joke but like
01:31:57.360
unironically it was my favorite t-shirt like i'm a big fan of of like t-shirt like ugly t-shirts or
01:32:03.760
like funny ones yes and at the time it was this purple like acid wash color but it was had a giant
01:32:11.260
picture of an ostrich on it and i hate birds but like it was a very real life depiction of an ostrich
01:32:15.600
like it was scary like to look at and it's like big eye was like this big and it was like almost
01:32:20.500
like profile like that and what and so she she saw that she said she was gonna love it yeah she
01:32:25.880
literally was like she's gonna hate birds she's gonna love that yeah and so she sent it to me and
01:32:29.560
it was my favorite t-shirt i wore it all the time and i literally have pictures from my grad night i
01:32:33.900
wore that to grad night because i was like what's well what's my fun night i'm gonna wear my favorite
01:32:37.900
t-shirt yes be comfy my number one t-shirt and everybody was like oh like every time they'd see my
01:32:42.980
shirt i was like my sister got it for me my sister got it for me let's shake ass
01:32:47.560
i love i had a coke zero there yeah i did i was i was having a time of my life i had about six
01:32:56.820
coke zeros if i'm not if i'm being honest drinking like the bit like i'm having a blast like that's
01:33:02.580
one of those places where you really it's okay to lose track of how many sodas you've had we'd have
01:33:07.400
so many sodas we just like continued eating snacks yeah dehydration is key when you're walking around
01:33:12.740
people i was with were actually really annoying because they were so good they're like let's drink
01:33:15.520
water and i was like all right because we were also getting stoned so we were like that's the
01:33:19.420
only way to go to disneyland we tried to do well we did do mushrooms from my birthday one time but
01:33:24.460
then my friend jordan was like i had to sit under a tree now so we were next to the corndog castle for
01:33:29.480
an hour just being like you're okay grounding then we went to the iron credit coaster had the time of
01:33:36.660
our lives which is closed yesterday hate that but that's also like being high at disneyland now
01:33:42.340
the best the best i remember the first time i was ever high at disneyland when i took the tram
01:33:48.300
we were sitting there i felt like when what i imagine dogs feel like when they stick their head
01:33:53.060
out the window and they're going that's how it felt that's how soaring like when you're in soaring
01:33:57.480
you're just like i was like this is what it's all about or the swings you know the swings yeah
01:34:03.000
oh it's so nice one time though i did get the scaries uh from getting a little too high yeah
01:34:08.960
i greened out a little bit and we were going on soaring and i was like just the thought of flying
01:34:14.980
over anything simulated it was like stressing me out yeah so i was like you guys go on i'll i'm gonna
01:34:20.920
get off and i like i just like went out of the line and went and sat down i was like have to ground
01:34:25.080
otherwise i'm not going to be able to make it yeah you have to yeah so i was sitting there and then i
01:34:29.400
was really worried that i was going to just keep feeling like sick and like scared and then we were
01:34:34.540
sitting on the pier at that point everybody went on the incredible coaster and i was just sitting
01:34:38.100
there still trying to like not freak out yeah you know when you're like that's what that's what i
01:34:42.340
was doing just completely silent and then i smelled popcorn like disneyland popcorn and i was like
01:34:47.500
damn that smells good and then i had that and it healed me that's that snacks there will bring you
01:34:52.780
back and then i literally had the fun part of the high after oh my god you know you have to fight the
01:34:57.420
scary sometimes and then when you win you're like yes yeah i'm usually like a five milligram edible
01:35:03.140
girl but yesterday i was like i want to go crazy so i took 10 mind you the people i'm with
01:35:07.800
taking 30 40 50 i'm like you guys okay i was gonna say that's me but like i know my friends
01:35:12.360
are when i took 50 though that's when i got scared yeah so i knew reel it in you can never
01:35:16.900
subtract you can always add but you can never subtract yeah my friend jordan the funniest
01:35:21.900
story in the world is she was said she accidentally took 100 grams milligrams sorry grams um milligrams
01:35:27.180
on a plane and she said she took it and then at one point she looked up and was like i'm on a plane
01:35:31.860
and i was like that's she's like i didn't know what to do so i started coloring i'm like yeah
01:35:35.840
like you snuck in like she nobody knows i'm on a plane right now how did i get here i'm like that's
01:35:40.780
so funny um yeah we ate so much good snacks i'm trying to think of my favorite thing yeah i was
01:35:46.900
gonna say what was your croissant because it was like the cookie one right yeah it was smashed to
01:35:52.000
hell like in sugar it was so good i'm like what did they who did they come up with this who did they
01:35:56.760
come up with this what am i saying how did they come up with this um someone's be like what if it's a
01:36:00.920
croissant chocolate chip smash it like that's someone's idea and put it in a plastic thing
01:36:06.140
yes give it to them give it to them that's period um they have um what is it it's like a cinnamon
01:36:12.160
toffee i forget what it's called but it's like it's like days what's the name of that treat what
01:36:18.320
is it churro churro toffee oh yeah and it's like it looks like a little pop tart but it's not you
01:36:25.360
telling me about this today i know it's cinnamon dusted too uh toffee pop tart toffee pop tart
01:36:31.060
crazy also i really well it's toffee but it looks like a pop tart is my point i love how a lot of
01:36:36.220
places you can't get a normal cold brew yeah like it's like it has cold brew it's like yes or like
01:36:42.200
the one i got at smoke jumpers grill was like waffle cone pieces and caramel like waffle cone
01:36:47.000
what you know that they were like we have a lot of waffle cones what should we do and someone's
01:36:52.240
put it in the cold brew okay what what can we do what can we do throw out some ideas yeah
01:36:56.420
like have you ever tried that milk it's in the star yeah i'm not it's not my thing i've never
01:37:00.420
tried it i've tried the green and the blue really and i don't i couldn't tell you what they taste like
01:37:05.000
at all you know what i mean you're not moved they were cold no i was like i don't know what to
01:37:09.260
but actually in disney world you can get alcohol in them oh in your milk in your milk interesting
01:37:15.180
it's not real milk we've strayed so far from god i know oh disney disney world is like forget it
01:37:20.720
we're over like and i can't put the waffle cones and the liquor in the milk that i don't care and
01:37:25.560
that's what i love about california venture is they're like everything's liquor like and then
01:37:30.540
disneyland's like and not over here i'll just speed run ready please i'm ready uh didn't get
01:37:36.860
your driver's license until you were 31 okay uh solo comedy show marguerite explored your life
01:37:42.660
growing up in chicago and was directed by your two brothers yes which will hopefully be coming out
01:37:46.600
on youtube or somewhere yay very exciting i once took a french french pastry class where you learned
01:37:53.580
to make macarons that is a deep cut what the hell i did and then i thought i could make them i was
01:37:58.240
like making them for people and they were like these aren't like that good okay okay so killed
01:38:03.940
my dreams and my confidence uh went to a liberal arts high school and did summer camps at beverly arts
01:38:09.000
center yes i went to an all-girl catholic high school okay to liberal arts what it's like but they
01:38:14.020
were still catholic and then yeah every summer i was a little theater girl oh love i was in greece
01:38:18.520
and i was sandy oh t and then the next time but then i was in annie twice and i was pepper both times
01:38:23.680
and she's a bully orphan the big bully yeah the musical starts with molly like i'm having a
01:38:28.860
nightmare and she's like shut up yeah and they were like you get back to clean yeah exactly i just
01:38:33.940
watched annie recently oh yeah and that movie is crazy if you watch it again oh yeah like the part
01:38:38.920
where grace is telling daddy warbucks to adopt her yeah and then he's like no he's like i love money
01:38:45.680
i love capitalism and i said okay let him cook let him cook and then when he goes your teeth are
01:38:53.100
crooked yeah i forgot this part he says that yeah he goes your teeth are crooked and she goes oh i'll
01:38:58.040
get them fixed he goes no i like them leave them you know he's just always yelling at her daddy relax
01:39:02.700
i want to play miss hannigan that'd be my dream i can't sing whatever little girls
01:39:07.000
it'll be so fun i think you would kill thank you okay last one is you had emergency back surgery two
01:39:13.680
years ago yes i did i had caught aquina syndrome which is this crazy thing and my nerve is still
01:39:18.940
numb in my leg so you could kick me right in the leg i'll feel it but i i won't know exactly it's a
01:39:23.140
real um like what is it mr deeds kind of vibe yes oh my god like a foot um in my special i tell the
01:39:30.780
whole story so i'll you could save it for that so obviously you have to go watch maggie live yeah
01:39:35.080
and then you'll hear it and then you yeah then you'll hear it oh my god that's awesome well thank
01:39:40.280
you so much for coming on i can't believe this is a dream come true it was the fucking are you
01:39:43.560
sure i was meant to be here i mean we already wasted the footage so post it might as well use it
01:39:49.800
you know thank you so much you're the best thank you for coming i fucking love you i can't wait till
01:39:53.520
we go to disney together i'm excited i'm so excited we don't have many disney adult friends
01:39:57.700
we don't a lot of them they judge us but come out you guys come out we persevere we start we
01:40:02.660
stand strong we stand strong we're holding the front line yeah the thin disney line the blue line
01:40:07.540
oh i hit the mic thank you all so much for tuning into this episode of the comment section show thank
01:40:13.000
you so much my amazing guest maggie winters where can everybody find you i am saggy splinters on all
01:40:18.580
platforms saggy with an ie yeah yeah and i have a podcast called literally life-changing was drew
01:40:24.240
yes which i think it will come out a little bit after this so you can you can have if you love it
01:40:28.700
you can be like i have more coming yeah obviously obviously follow that um and i'm on tour with
01:40:34.480
connor wood so i opened for him and so you can come see me and then leave when he comes on i'm just
01:40:40.400
kidding um yeah but do what you want i don't know you want actually no um thank you so much you're
01:40:45.400
the best thank you for fucking coming i love you love you you're hilarious and everyone should know
01:40:49.920
that obviously but thank you all so much for tuning into this episode don't forget new episodes of the
01:40:53.660
comment section drop every wednesday you can stream the comment section on all streaming platforms
01:40:56.900
with the video list for free and exclusively on our favorite platform spotify thank you so much to my
01:41:01.380
amazing guest maggie thank you so much to all of you and i'll see you next week bye