The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - FELLAS, IS IT GAY TO LOVE？ Ft. Lucy Dacus ｜ Episode 219

00:00:00.000 Capitalism is evil and crushing and soulless and awful, and that's why when I think about

00:00:05.380 for-profit healthcare, it truly makes me want a Mangione.

00:00:10.800 Yeah.

00:00:11.160 Say his name.

00:00:13.220 I'm not going to say his name.

00:00:14.520 Yeah, say his name.

00:00:24.900 Hey, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of The Comment Section Show.

00:00:28.400 starring me your fave everybody knows me who cares about me on to the guest today we have 1.00

00:00:33.000 the icon the legend lesbians let me fucking hear you lucy dacus 0.99

00:00:38.440 wow so everyone's lesbian oh yeah yes for the most part yes cool most yeah for the most part 0.99

00:00:46.660 yes even when i told chapel i was like everyone that works for for me and with me is gay she's

00:00:51.020 like i can tell yeah i think everyone is really hoping that's an arc for you i know but don't

00:00:57.900 worry about it you know what is love it love is love yeah love is i'm so glad you guys could

00:01:02.840 support me yeah and my heteronormativity like literally this episode is presented by sephora

00:01:07.640 so what are you getting your mom this mother's day it's hard to find something that says hey mom

00:01:13.360 i think you're amazing and thank you for everything right because flowers that turn

00:01:18.860 up wilted or a home appliance that feels too practical just won't cut it the solution is

00:01:24.000 simple a beauty gift from sephora is more personal and lets mom know she is loved and celebrated with

00:01:30.660 gorgeous mother's day gift sets filled with skincare fragrance makeup or hair products

00:01:35.340 sephora makes it easy to find the perfect gift for her shop mother's day gifts at sephora

00:01:40.440 i know i told a couple people i was like oh yeah i'm gonna have uh lucy aunt my sister who is a

00:01:48.500 lesbian i do bring her up all the time she's been a big fan of yours forever but i was like

00:01:53.840 i have climbed the top of lesbian mountain now that i've had you i'm at the top you're at the

00:01:58.480 very top you're on the mount rushmore i'm lonely at the top but you're an icon and a living legend

00:02:04.240 i'm happy and honored to have you thank you likewise and we have met before we did like a

00:02:09.800 year ago yes at the elton john party yes and that was such a strange environment it very was i really

00:02:16.580 enjoyed it i had a blast i got absolutely trashed at that you did yeah at that party i didn't notice

00:02:21.920 that well it was a little bit after i talked i like to leave early oh yeah yeah i was like i've

00:02:27.500 seen what i need to see yeah you're like well i'm done here yeah i appreciate that about you i had

00:02:31.940 a heart-to-heart with machine gun kelly and yeah that's exactly what i was gonna bring up because

00:02:38.380 i distinctly remember you telling me about your heartfelt moment with mgk and well only because

00:02:44.660 he walked by and said bye to you and you were like hey smile more and then you walked away and

00:02:51.580 I said, so what was that?

00:02:54.100 Did you want to elaborate on that or no?

00:02:57.240 And you were like, oh, we were having

00:02:58.400 like a heart to heart at the table.

00:03:02.100 It's true, like, I was like, what's this guy's deal?

00:03:06.100 I feel like there's a lot of like, he seems very serious.

00:03:09.480 And he was wearing cord headphones.

00:03:12.240 He did, yeah, he ultimately wasn't having a great day,

00:03:16.460 it turns out, and me and Katie Gavin also on-

00:03:19.960 Who we love.

00:03:20.700 mountain yes also in lesbian mountain along with the other two we just like kind of heard him out

00:03:24.540 and like just got real that's the thing is if you leave your house and you have your heart open

00:03:30.780 anything can happen the possibilities are endless possibilities are endless but i was like

00:03:36.680 like my guy if you smile the people would have a harder time like it's true making fun if you're

00:03:45.060 in on the joke like yeah people will think that your whole life is different right not to be

00:03:50.660 a man on the street like smile no but honestly there is something truly beautiful and poetic

00:03:54.880 about a lesbian telling a man a straight man you need to smile more that's gonna speak to them i

00:04:00.460 that makes my but also like scientifically like really helps you like i agree when you smile it

00:04:05.720 tells your brain the endorphins yeah i'm not a scientist it's all about the the like motions of

00:04:11.120 it sometimes you gotta fake it so you make it yes i agree with that yeah especially about like maybe

00:04:15.320 he has been smiling a little bit more i don't know all thanks to you yeah what can't you do

00:04:20.640 you could do so much it's you got so much already but you are truly a living legend i'm genuinely

00:04:29.680 so honored to have you it's true i believe it okay i believe it to be true but also i do want

00:04:37.160 to know how you're feeling lately how's life going for you lately i feel good it's nice to be home

00:04:42.780 i was just on tour for a long time just moved recently like very excited me too hanging out

00:04:49.740 with my dog do you have pets yes i have two dogs oh what kind of dog do you have i have like a hound

00:04:54.940 mutt like crazy girly oh cute what dogs do you have i have two frenchies derogatory i know but

00:05:02.720 like i did adopt them and one of them is completely deaf do you have photos or do we do this later of

00:05:08.100 course i do it's my show we can do whatever we want here this is them oh yeah this one's my

00:05:14.400 deaf one his name's tuna and this is squid no i know their names are a huge hit every time i tell

00:05:22.980 people their names they love them squid yeah and i got squid first so he's the oldest and then we

00:05:27.880 adopted tuna um and he's completely deaf so like he couldn't like put him with a the guy i adopted

00:05:33.760 him from actually said he tried to take him to like a rescue because he like couldn't have him

00:05:37.180 anymore and then um they said like they didn't have any room but they said please don't take

00:05:41.220 him to a shelter because they'll put him down because he's deaf and so he listed him on like

00:05:45.540 a find your pet thing and so that's how i found him i feel emotional i was gonna say you look

00:05:50.480 emotional i'm like shaking i have like whatever baby pier is for dogs me too i think we're gonna

00:05:58.080 get another dog yes soon do you have like a lady came up to us on the street and was like could

00:06:03.660 you take a dog and we were like maybe yeah and we like got her number oh nice did she say what kind

00:06:09.880 dog uh it looks like scooby-doo that's what we know like a marmaduke yeah so we'll see if that

00:06:15.720 works out but big dog yeah i'm open to a dog walking into my life oh my god yeah you're like

00:06:21.280 the universe it's like the what do they call it when people have like cats and they're like oh if

00:06:26.120 you're nice to the universe the cat exchange principle or whatever will like give it back to

00:06:30.160 you the cat is nice to you if you're nice there's just like this idea that like if you're open to

00:06:35.280 the universe you may find a stray cat that loves you and is really cute and that's what is it cat

00:06:41.240 distribution system that's what it is distribution system yes that one wow but i believe that about

00:06:45.900 dogs too but i can't i'm i think i'm capped at the two just because because they are frenchies

00:06:51.820 they are allergic to everything and oh no it is taxing i would say i can't get over that i know

00:06:58.880 they're they're unbelievably cute here let me see and squid recently um started getting alopecia

00:07:04.260 don't know what that says god doesn't give with both hands i'm sorry you can laugh why is it why 0.95

00:07:09.800 they pick such a funny word for that well he has dog alopecia so it's honestly only on his butt 0.95

00:07:16.420 which is even funnier he just but alopecia yeah but alopecia if you can believe it my special boy 0.93

00:07:21.800 and he is very annoying but he is also the best this is beans beans oh my gosh my mom has a dog

00:07:28.740 named beans really cute yeah there's there's there's cuter photos those are just the first

00:07:35.140 one she looks beautiful she's so um communicative oh really she'll look at me like and i know

00:07:45.780 exactly what's going on she'll she'll like look at you and make eye contact and like stamp her

00:07:50.460 feet on the ground yeah i'm like what do you need she tells us what she needs and i know i talk i

00:07:56.400 talked to both my dogs even though one of them can't hear me i still i still yeah i'm saying

00:08:01.360 the energy is flowing through me to him but i literally had like a nervous breakdown crying

00:08:06.180 randomly the other day because i was on my period but also because i was thinking about my dog tuna

00:08:11.140 who's deaf and he used to not really like being pet on the head or like kissed on the head because

00:08:15.880 it's like overstimulating to him i think because he can't hear yeah so he likes to like see all the

00:08:20.520 time and but lately like i would say the last like year he's been really open to like kisses

00:08:26.240 on the head and the face but now he closes his eyes which means he trusts me i'm gonna make

00:08:30.580 myself cry i'm gonna make myself cry i'm making me and lucy cry it's so it's so beautiful and

00:08:39.900 then i think about how how pure like a dog's love is it truly moves me like i'm like i can't i can't

00:08:46.380 do it my therapist was recently trying to compare me and my dad like i was like talking about this

00:08:51.880 is way too deep why the camera should have just asked you for dinner i had a feeling this is

00:08:56.840 gonna happen um but like i was talking about how sometimes it feels like if i have needs it's like

00:09:01.980 a detriment to my relationships and then people are gonna leave me if i have needs and then i feel

00:09:06.240 like what about your dog your dog has needs and it's simple that your dog has needs i can't think

00:09:11.480 about that i'll start crying and i gotta chill but then i was like people do think she has bad

00:09:18.820 behavior and it does alienate some people and my therapist is like let's back up let's find a

00:09:22.760 different that's how i feel yeah because she is losing friends for being just really ripped and 1.00

00:09:30.080 uh friendly and so she hurts people not like biting but she'll she'll try to put her tongue 1.00

00:09:36.820 in your mouth and she'll literally push you into a seated position so that she can stand on you

00:09:42.020 that's crazy you say that because my first dog squid when i had him he had like a a lot of energy

00:09:51.760 like frenchies generally have a lot of energy but he just loves to play and he loves people he loves

00:09:57.120 dogs he loves everyone so like it was a lot like because he's like go like going crazy and so like

00:10:03.980 we trained him like we he's very trained and he's a very good boy he doesn't bark he doesn't chew

00:10:08.300 things up nothing but he was just kind of annoying because he's a lot like a lot like it jumps on

00:10:13.260 people too yeah and my dog tuna it worked out because i was like i need to get him a friend

00:10:18.460 because and that's probably like you need to get her friend yeah because it really did regulate

00:10:22.620 him like having another buddy but because tuna is completely deaf like he doesn't get overstimulated

00:10:28.460 when he plays with him because that was the whole thing with dogs like he's just making so much

00:10:31.880 noise that they would like snap at him and then run away that's so perfect i know so now he's 0.52

00:10:35.880 completely deaf so he doesn't care like all he can make all the noise he wants and it doesn't

00:10:39.400 bother him and also tuna loves to stand on people that's his favorite thing i i have no clue but

00:10:46.480 he's like a billy goat like he'll literally stand like on my sternum yeah and he's 30 pounds do they

00:10:51.420 want eye contact yeah yeah and he's like like breathing in my face like this close did you

00:10:57.300 know that dogs didn't have eyebrows until recently what yes like the bone or like just

00:11:04.140 expressions so they are using their eyebrows to communicate with us they are copying humans

00:11:10.860 i'm so glad you gave me that piece of information wild and like when i now look at

00:11:15.600 dogs eyebrows and they're very active i'm like you are doing your best human impression you're

00:11:21.560 trying to do our emotions and also like like beans is like julian's dog and so i'm like you

00:11:27.680 are doing julian's faces right now oh my god i can't think about that yeah

00:11:33.240 i'm getting married this year and you are i am in august thank you do you want to come

00:11:41.400 yeah like if you're available you're invited

00:11:45.620 that's so i love weddings oh i i yeah i'm like so cool i am i'm getting married this summer

00:11:53.360 um which i'm excited about but it is killing me that i can't bring my dogs why can't you i'm

00:11:58.400 having a destination wedding and where i'm going when i fly them they have to be quarantined for

00:12:03.540 like two three weeks and like they they're bonded to each other i can't like separate them from me

00:12:08.260 from each other plus flying frenchies is like so tricky but like yeah but i'm i'm very like

00:12:14.100 devastated at the thought of it but they've been with us from the very beginning so like we got

00:12:18.700 squid i think like a couple years into being together like three or four years yeah i would

00:12:23.500 say y'all are so cute together by the way thank you do this every day or wait what do you hear

00:12:29.020 this every day i don't know if i'm like covering like much trodden ground yeah no no i mean like

00:12:33.860 i do get that a lot yes but i i think it's a beautiful thing i'll take it every time to be

00:12:38.280 honest with you god thank you i think the two of you are really beautiful together as well

00:12:43.260 beautiful couples i love when hot people date hot people so fun it's the best yeah it's like a

00:12:48.620 two plus two equals 13 no i know and i think too like the because of my heteronormativity

00:12:56.300 um my my man is like obviously very good looking but he's also very genuinely nice and i think 0.96

00:13:05.740 that's like when people meet him they're like damn that's for real like that sucks and i was

00:13:11.600 like well yeah you should know that because he's with me yeah you should know that he's a good guy 0.97

00:13:15.920 because he's with me especially you're not gonna be i got i run a real strict program yeah with

00:13:21.220 men especially no scrubs yeah yeah exactly and that's why i think even sometimes now like uh my

00:13:27.960 fans too will like you said earlier like they're hoping for a lesbian arc for me and i was like

00:13:33.180 it's a compliment right i don't have to do it it's the highest of compliments trust me you don't do

00:13:38.380 anything you don't feel comfortable yeah just don't don't don't don't feel pressured and you

00:13:44.180 what's funny is like i've said before like i in college i i for real thought like maybe i am gay

00:13:49.620 like i had that conscious thought i was like maybe i am gay because i hated men even more then than i

00:13:56.080 do now and even now it hasn't lessened necessarily i think i just i took a lot of my anger out of it

00:14:01.040 now i've learned to laugh at it a lot more and like move past it yeah when i was younger i was

00:14:05.980 like all the time i just felt like constantly angry so i was like maybe i just maybe i'm not

00:14:10.820 attracted to them so i did sample with women and it just didn't take yeah i tried i was like let

00:14:17.580 me try and like see and it just didn't take one of my favorite archetypes is a straight man that 0.98

00:14:23.620 had a bunch of gay sex it was like not for me 0.93

00:14:26.220 it's a it's a rare thing but i've met these people and i'm like that's how they find out 0.99

00:14:33.860 they're straight it's like the reverse yeah they were open to it i'm like that is you must be very

00:14:38.600 open yeah i was like that's that's amazing yeah yeah i believe that's also what you said you've

00:14:43.980 done so that's based and cool right and i think too that's why um i think it's my and everything

00:14:48.820 about me sometimes my lesbian friends i've joked about this on the show before they'll be like

00:14:53.100 talking to me and then in the middle of conversation they'll be like i forget i 0.96

00:14:57.440 forgot you're straight that sucks they're like that sucks i'm like i know but at least i'm not 0.87

00:15:04.200 It's all truly, just frankly, I know it sounds like woo woo, 0.98

00:15:10.220 but there's no archetype better than actual love.

00:15:14.780 I agree, I agree.

00:15:17.060 And I think too, I think I'm someone who knows

00:15:22.060 that I'm a straightie, so I am a guest in the house

00:15:26.760 of all my gay friends, which is how I see it.

00:15:29.280 And I've said this to someone before too,

00:15:30.880 Cause like one time I saw this video of this girl and she was like crying

00:15:35.480 cause she was realizing that her and one other girl are the only straight 1.00

00:15:38.260 people in their group and everybody else is a lesbian.

00:15:40.500 And she was like, no, I'm now I'm thinking like they, 0.88

00:15:43.320 they're only hanging out with me,

00:15:44.420 but I'm the lame one in this group cause I'm straight.

00:15:48.040 And I was, uh, it was really funny video, but I commented on it.

00:15:50.640 And I was like, honestly, me too. Wear it with pride.

00:15:53.780 Lesbians are notoriously picky. Yeah. 1.00

00:15:55.880 Lesbians are extremely picky. If you're in, you're in. 1.00

00:15:58.260 Yeah. Like far pickier than gay men too. 1.00

00:16:00.140 so like they're they're very picky with straight girls yeah because straight girls can be annoying 0.99

00:16:04.560 and i know that as a straight girl i can say that as a straight girl i wonder if i was the

00:16:10.580 annoying straight friend before i don't think so you don't think so i don't think so only because

00:16:17.040 you're true to this in lesbianism so i feel like it's always been a piece of you so maybe that

00:16:22.620 kept the annoying at bay i know i was annoying but that's because i'm a straightie so i was like

00:16:28.060 i knew i was annoying when i was younger and then i grew out of it thank god now i'm annoying for

00:16:33.400 good like i'm annoying for good you're using powers yeah i'm using my powers for good yeah

00:16:36.840 my evil i use against men that's also for good what is your evil what i mean to them okay yeah 0.51

00:16:42.320 when i like roast them and make fun of them and yeah tell them like they're awful and terrible

00:16:47.260 it's just kind of my thing yeah i think i think that was another reason why two people were like 0.87

00:16:52.340 oh then she's either straight or gay and i was like no i'm not i am straight i'm not gay but

00:16:58.620 i'm definitely not single either so that's kind of a bummer for them interesting that was always 0.56

00:17:03.020 their gotcha on me men okay they're always like oh you're probably single wrong well your man's

00:17:07.840 probably ugly wrong wrong you're gonna really hate the rest of the answers to the questions

00:17:12.520 oh my god i mean i i probably hate men less than you i feel like you have enough friends 0.87

00:17:21.660 especially like friends who are trans men yeah you're like you're just like i want to love

00:17:28.080 the man that you're becoming and then like i agree people's interest in masculinity

00:17:33.240 i love masculinity i agree yeah well and i think about masculinity too and femininity

00:17:40.160 i always remind myself too and i remind people all the time that like gender is so not real

00:17:44.680 like gender is such a social construct yeah so like releasing it and all that comes with it

00:17:50.240 is like such a freedom to give yourself like yeah and i actually saw one of my girlfriends

00:17:55.220 post a video recently where she said like you'll never know true freedom as a woman until you 0.91

00:18:00.420 make peace with being found like to being thought of as a bitch or ugly or undesirable 0.96

00:18:07.600 my birth mother told me this really she's like just wait you're gonna get to be an age where 0.97

00:18:12.840 you become invisible right you are gonna experience freedom and you're gonna finally

00:18:17.140 get to know yourself i just got chills isn't that wild that is crazy dropping heat all the time

00:18:23.300 she said this other thing which i repeat every chance i can get where she was like when i was

00:18:28.860 i think 50 i found anger like it was under the bed and i was angry because i had needed it my 0.99

00:18:35.140 whole life damn that shit's in your bloodline then girl yeah your your your uh artistry is in 0.99

00:18:41.800 your bloodline it sounds like yeah i'm not very good at being angry like i'm probably the angriest 1.00

00:18:47.080 i ever am in music like i i have a goal to like get more i mean i'm angry about a lot

00:18:54.280 right there's you could pick any old yeah for real you just look in a direction and there's

00:18:58.620 something to be angry about yeah i agree but yeah i want to get i want to get angrier yeah

00:19:04.700 i mean that's good i need to i i feel like for me too i've talked a lot about anger as an emotion

00:19:11.460 like because i think the way i blew up on social and stuff and like the the very specific niche

00:19:18.940 that i carved out um it's always when i would do interviews they'd be like oh have you always been

00:19:24.360 this way like or something terrible happened or they'll be like what is this way yeah like yeah

00:19:29.900 this way exactly funny yeah i'm assuming it's like hating men which i like i say hating men

00:19:36.100 and it's very like nothing burger statement to me when I say I hate men because I don't think

00:19:41.520 about them ever so like I never consider them I don't care about them like hate I guess is like

00:19:47.540 too strong of a word but like yeah but I can hate them they're very so cold right yeah amazing

00:19:54.120 yeah I was like what's worse like anger indifference like I feel so indifferent towards

00:19:58.860 them um in so many ways in the fact that I just don't factor them ever and so like I I feel like 0.91

00:20:04.920 when i would talk about it i'd say like i think a lot of reason why women and other people especially

00:20:10.080 have found like community with me is because i've like validated the choice to be angry yeah like to

00:20:16.880 to be upset about it like and however that manifests is really up to you for me it's it's

00:20:22.080 like when i'm disrespected or attacked then i'm going to disrespect you back and then we're just

00:20:26.620 going to call it even like that's how i've always responded to disrespect and i think that's why

00:20:31.660 people have found like community in my in my content and stuff because it's like it's okay

00:20:36.340 if you're upset like it's okay if it annoys you it's okay if you want to be mean back that's okay

00:20:40.680 it's also everyone's dream to like have a clap back for the ages right like it's every like

00:20:47.740 you're clever and so like watching you be able to be like oh i can hand it back everyone wants

00:20:53.960 to hand it back but it's sometimes so shocking in the moment right especially after like if you

00:20:58.020 have a lifetime of being disrespected is like oh oh i'm having my familiar feeling and um okay the

00:21:04.420 seconds have passed and everyone's moved on and you don't get to have that like right immediate

00:21:09.020 like retribution and absolutely so it's very fun to watch well and it's also i think also too it's

00:21:15.200 like indicative of how women especially but anyone who's not a straight cis man has been conditioned

00:21:21.520 which is like to to give pause so it's like well i have to be careful what i say because what if

00:21:26.400 what i say is offensive or what if what if what i say hurts them but men never think that way like

00:21:32.120 men think things and say them they don't they don't have pause they don't have like

00:21:36.280 how is this going to make everybody in the room feel only only women and other people have that

00:21:41.600 like that they they're we're like i've i've said before like men are used to being considered

00:21:46.760 and women are used to considering others so it's like we're like conditioned that way from the jump

00:21:52.280 like to to think of everyone how is this going to affect everyone how's this going to make everyone

00:21:56.080 feel yeah including perpetrators like including people who are actively pushing harm on us we're 0.96

00:22:03.420 thinking like well i don't you know that's where that high road shit comes from oh i like to take 0.90

00:22:07.540 the high road oh you should take the high road what is the high road yeah and why is it only 1.00

00:22:11.980 populated by women and gay people yeah why are we the only ones up there where are all the men how

00:22:16.560 come they never got are we building houses on the high yeah why are we doing that and everything 0.98

00:22:20.300 fucking else at the same time and i think i've talked about that too in regards to like responding 0.98

00:22:25.520 to hate because sometimes when men say awful shit about me means nothing to me and then when i say 0.99

00:22:31.040 awful shit back they get offended like which is hilarious to me yeah and everyone else on the 0.99

00:22:36.660 internet but it's also hilarious because the problem is not it is what i said but it's more 1.00

00:22:42.700 so the fact that it it doesn't bother me what they said so they they're like i would never fuck you 0.59

00:22:47.680 neither would i cool yeah yeah well then i think then at that point i'm like well we have a lot in 1.00

00:22:53.980 common then because i wouldn't fuck you either so we're just two ugly bitches yelling at each 0.99

00:22:57.200 other is that what we're doing we're sitting here roasting each other like what's the point 1.00

00:23:01.360 maybe we should be friends yeah we shouldn't but i i think that all the time yeah yeah i was like

00:23:06.500 we have a lot of goals like similar yeah but it's it doesn't they're they think to themselves like 0.99

00:23:12.600 i don't want to fuck you but like i can't believe you don't want me to fuck you also like what made 0.99

00:23:16.620 you think that right you were thinking about it you jumped somewhere yeah yeah you were already 1.00

00:23:21.640 there and then my personality was too good for you a little too much you demoted yourself right

00:23:30.000 just now by saying that yeah but when I yeah tell them tell them I'm telling you I I feel like

00:23:36.180 that's like in my head it's always been extremely simple to me like that concept but when I started

00:23:42.840 doing this for a living I really found out really quickly that is not very common like that kind of

00:23:47.540 belief and i think this is like kind of a weird jump but not and we can cut this if you don't

00:23:51.840 want to but like the the whole chapel discourse recently has been pissing me off oh the way people

00:23:56.040 are treating her but either way up right right for real for real like i i i agree yeah yeah but 0.99

00:24:04.160 also i i was like you guys don't care because i saw some some women saying like well you could 0.98

00:24:09.540 have just come on here and apologize for what like again for what right but again it's why 1.00

00:24:15.860 why do you pedestalize women like that you women are forced to apologize for things they didn't do 1.00

00:24:21.480 they weren't there for they didn't see because you think they should so the problem is not what 1.00

00:24:27.180 happened the problem you have is that she's not sorry and doesn't care that you want her to be 0.96

00:24:33.060 sorry for whatever the fuck it is yeah i was like that's the part you're struggling with you're 0.95

00:24:37.220 struggling with the fact that she doesn't care like she doesn't care how you personally feel 0.96

00:24:41.120 towards how she feels because how she feels is how she feels and I was like it's very okay it's

00:24:46.680 okay for women to be like uh I'm sorry that happened I didn't do anything though yeah it's

00:24:52.500 okay for women to do that it's all right like I've trust me I've done it many times yeah like I've

00:24:57.120 had I've had men say terrible things that I've done to others which I'm like no I haven't and

00:25:02.580 they're like well you said something mean well see now we're having a different conversation yeah

00:25:06.220 you want me to blanket apologize for anything ever why yeah and do men ever do that and i also

00:25:13.020 think when they start holding famous men to that level of standard then i'll start entertaining it

00:25:17.900 as soon as they interesting right as soon as you start holding men to that level of care

00:25:21.940 you let me know you know it's like dark is i think some people wish they were being stalked

00:25:28.760 i think some people think it's romantic some people like or it's awesome they think like oh

00:25:33.380 it's so cool to have people flooding your you should be grateful that people are yeah uh clamoring

00:25:40.180 for your personal life and it's like actually no and not a single one of you would enjoy this and

00:25:44.820 if you did you are more sick than the people right i've said that for so oh my god if you think that

00:25:51.780 this is enjoyable or worth invitation like that is an illness that what was sold to you 0.99

00:25:58.320 to believe that right it's either deep deep deep deep ignorance or deep psychosis or like just

00:26:06.380 insecurity like do you need a thousand people to scream love at you right feel loved like

00:26:14.040 it's really that's not what life is about like that is not it's true I and you know I did a

00:26:19.840 college talk recently and a girl asked me one of the questions at the end she was like

00:26:26.660 you know um you know you're really successful creator and like you started doing other stuff

00:26:31.560 as someone who wants to do that like do you have any advice for us or like for preparation whatever

00:26:37.700 and i was like i'm assuming you mean being an influencer right which i'm like you should not

00:26:42.660 aspire to that oh my god oh my god stay in school i literally told her i said first of all don't

00:26:46.900 aspire to that second of all stay in school i was like but third like i i really want to encourage

00:26:52.360 those of you who like think when you see like whether it's influencer or someone like you

00:26:57.820 someone like chapel anyone famous right in any part of hollywood if you see that and you're like

00:27:03.140 that looks awesome i want to do that i really want you to understand like what you sacrifice

00:27:08.160 to get it like and i said like i don't believe the illuminati is real but the exchange that

00:27:13.820 they describe in the illuminati where you have to sell your soul in order to get it right fame

00:27:18.300 money whatever it is there is a sacrifice there is something you give up in order to get this

00:27:23.960 and it's sometimes not worth it and i was like and i didn't know that like i didn't know that

00:27:30.860 i had no way of fucking knowing that that would happen to me because like i'm speaking of therapy 0.66

00:27:35.540 i joined therapy when i started doing this thank god because i had the money in therapy like it's 0.95

00:27:39.900 join the army i enlisted in therapy i enlisted into the therapy that's my kind of conscription

00:27:45.220 that's what I'm talking about yes um and I it's because I had the money so I was like hell yeah

00:27:49.780 I want to go to therapy I had no way of knowing how much I was going to talk about like how hard

00:27:55.160 this is and not like the work itself is obviously hard and a lot but it's like being perceived at

00:28:00.880 that level and being ripped apart and dissected many other ways and being followed being asked

00:28:07.820 for pictures in public being bothered in public like I had no way of knowing yeah that that was

00:28:13.400 how that was going to make me feel and i was like recently telling her that like i would say a couple

00:28:18.740 months ago that i feel like i started developing agoraphobia yeah because i'm like every time i

00:28:24.680 leave it's like oh my god what are you doing here oh my god can i have a picture oh my god what are

00:28:29.000 you buying do you live around here yeah and it's overwhelming well here's part of the reason why

00:28:34.440 is whoever is in there thinks they're hanging out with us you're right like they think and you're

00:28:41.860 talking like how they would want to listen to their friend but with no reciprocal right like

00:28:47.400 you're you're probably so cool whoever you are for being here and if we really got lunch we'd

00:28:53.580 probably all enjoy each other's company right but you're not here right we're not your friends

00:28:57.860 and like it's true like love love but like i i i mean i've seen this show and i'll be like this

00:29:07.600 in my bed i'm not participating right but i'll get the whiff of friendship with whoever you're

00:29:11.760 talking right and i think there must be like again we need a scientist on the case because

00:29:16.000 if this is replacing socially people's actual real life relationships to other people like

00:29:22.460 this this is not gonna cut it for you no overall oh my god no the parasocial relationship yeah

00:29:29.800 and you're right because it's like younger generations covid didn't help either but it's

00:29:34.080 really like killed like in-person connection and like yeah and then because it feels so close and

00:29:39.680 because of social media and you feel like you have windows into people's lives you feel like

00:29:44.100 you know them and you feel like you can talk to them however you want the way that people approach

00:29:49.340 me sometimes sometimes like one time my sister and i did like uh we were on tour a couple years

00:29:57.040 ago to promote my book and we were on a comedy tour and we did meet and greets at every stop 1.00

00:30:02.180 and one of them was this girl walked up to us and she goes what's up you fucking bitches 1.00

00:30:07.560 i said oh i said i'm so glad i wasn't drinking tea when you said that like 1.00

00:30:14.400 and every time i tell my friends they're like oh and i'm like right right out the gate like 1.00

00:30:19.720 looking at me in the eyes what's up you fucking bitches hey what's your name nice to meet you 1.00

00:30:27.700 you fucking bitch like is that what you say that like is that the desired response i have no i have 1.00

00:30:35.960 no clue the amount of women even like if i go to like something like a coachella if i go to like 1.00

00:30:43.880 something where people are drunk like that's probably the worst and they'll come up and 1.00

00:30:47.680 they'll be like this fucking bitch yeah that's fucking but they always call me a bitch i don't 1.00

00:30:52.760 I don't know, hey, I don't know what that is. 1.00

00:30:54.880 Yeah.

00:30:55.820 But like, I get it. 1.00

00:30:56.660 Like I use the vernacular and bitch is a genderless term 0.99

00:30:59.200 in my vocabulary personally. 1.00

00:31:01.000 100%, yeah. 1.00

00:31:02.080 Sometimes girl is a genderless term. 0.95

00:31:03.700 I use girl as a genderless term all the time.

00:31:05.700 Queen, diva. 0.55

00:31:06.780 Yeah, boy, yeah.

00:31:08.820 And I think like, you're right.

00:31:10.620 It has, because of the access, like through social media,

00:31:14.560 it has really blurred the lines of like,

00:31:17.460 relationship connection to like famous people.

00:31:20.200 And I genuinely never thought that I would be so, like, sick to my stomach to go in public.

00:31:27.320 I, like, never in my life thought I would.

00:31:29.300 I'm on meds now.

00:31:30.340 Thanks.

00:31:30.740 Shouts out meds.

00:31:32.000 Love anxiety meds.

00:31:33.680 But I just really never thought that I would ever be someone who needed something like that in that capacity.

00:31:39.420 And I think it's because I also had an ignorance about, I think, celebrity culture.

00:31:43.840 Because when I was younger, I was, like, a fangirl, too, of, like, I was a big Jonas Brothers girl.

00:31:48.400 Oh, wow.

00:31:49.080 At one point. 0.99

00:31:49.680 it was funny because my first fangirl Ashley was here to talk to you man we could key down about

00:31:54.160 the Jonas Brothers yes the first my first phase though fangirl was with uh My Chemical Romance

00:31:58.800 so that was my first that's a really beautiful hallowed hall the fandom yeah I think people

00:32:04.380 who've ever loved MCR yeah are the best people I'm telling you all my friends who are like still

00:32:09.900 going to the MCR shows are a little dark angels right for real my sister and I like that was my

00:32:17.320 very first concert was the black parade when i was 10 which is crazy that really shapes a guy

00:32:23.740 euphoria calvin klein just dropped the new elixir collection by calvin klein featuring three parfum

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00:32:37.600 attitude its own universe bold elixir is sensual woody and addictive magnetic elixir is sweet and

00:32:46.840 romantic like a lingering touch and solar elixir is bright and radiant joy in a bottle they're

00:32:54.020 ultra concentrated for a scent that really lasts find your euphoria with the euphoria elixir

00:33:00.080 collection by calvin klein what was your first concert well does church count

00:33:04.820 hmm i'll let you decide okay i went to a ton of like giant i saw zoe girl i saw

00:33:11.040 oh nice um three days grace oh fun um let me so the first concert i went to with my friends

00:33:19.260 without my parents was jack's mannequin opening for the fray oh okay sat in the parking lot and

00:33:26.100 we went to our seats and we all belabored our outfits for like three months and we were all

00:33:32.940 wearing i'm pretty sure a knitted beanie and a different color flannel shirt over a camisole

00:33:39.560 oh of course um but yeah jacks mannequin those songs if i hear that it's gonna it's takes you

00:33:46.460 back yeah i'm i'm singing in a destructive way to my vocal cords i'm singing in a way that uh

00:33:53.040 jeopardizes my job yeah that's so fun what's been a really fun concert you've been to recently or

00:34:00.200 really awesome one saw mitski last night she's amazing and it was so cool because like i have

00:34:07.120 been seeing her since she was playing like 100 cap venues no way this show of course you're on

00:34:12.200 the ground floor of mitski yeah of course you are yeah she's a friend she's like yeah she's a legend

00:34:17.560 and she is yeah hell yeah um but this show was the most similar to how she started i think like

00:34:25.400 very rock and like loose and she's playing a hollywood high school for a week um but what else

00:34:32.460 you got a lot going on i want to talk more about music with you okay can you tell me what you got

00:34:36.920 going on right now coming up yes i have one song and it's called planting tomatoes literally just

00:34:44.480 one okay did you hear it no i haven't i should like play it off my phone you can if yeah okay

00:34:50.620 yeah well no leaks here i wish that you'd heard it yeah um it's about how life is short and how

00:35:01.520 do you go through the day knowing that it will end and that it will end for everyone that you

00:35:06.460 love so you're like this you're just like it's so cute but it it's like about how it is cute the

00:35:13.100 the melody is very cute yeah it's it's fun and it's like about having little ideas that like

00:35:20.280 your need to execute your ideas is a reason to stay alive uh and just like it's a little bit

00:35:28.040 about reflecting on i'm like older now than some people that i have lost and um that's really odd

00:35:34.320 and sometimes it can feel like how dare I have a good day and then other days I'm like

00:35:39.760 that's the best thing I can do is have a good day yeah and like everyone who

00:35:47.280 frozen lasagna medium power 15 minutes sounds like ojo time let's play feel the fun with play

00:35:56.120 ojo the online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games what you win is yours to

00:36:01.540 key with no wagering requirements instant payouts and no minimum withdrawals hey i just won

00:36:07.000 honey forget about the lasagna let's celebrate 19 plus ontario only please play responsibly

00:36:13.620 concerned about your gambling or that someone close to you call 1-866-531-2600 or visit

00:36:16.140 connexontario.ca has loved me and has gone would ideally want me to have a good day yeah and keep

00:36:23.840 on my little pursuits that even if they don't matter they might so yeah might as well

00:36:31.500 as long as as long as they matter to you yeah yeah like and that's so i i think that's beautiful

00:36:37.080 and poignant which is honestly your mo for everything you put out is beautiful and poignant

00:36:42.440 and so artistic but i i also think too it's especially imperative right now because the

00:36:47.540 world is so scary and awful right now that like it almost like force well first of all that's why

00:36:53.620 art is thriving unfortunately art is thriving i would say in the sense that people are putting

00:36:59.140 out some of their best pieces of work who's somebody thriving right now hmm artistically

00:37:06.020 bad bunny oh that loved him he was my top artist of 2025 yeah he's in my top i'll say chapel too 0.94

00:37:12.480 why not yeah fuck it i don't care if that album's old i don't give a damn no yeah old also like 0.97

00:37:18.440 like old in the history of time in the history of time no to people they're like um the album 0.99

00:37:23.780 came out some music is evergreen yeah even like uh lady gaga's newest album i love i love i loved

00:37:30.100 cowboy carter so i loved beyonce's latest album too there's just so many bangers being put out i

00:37:35.920 feel like in a time of really tumultuous geopolitical conflict just generally it's

00:37:41.480 awful right now yeah even moona moona putting out some bangers oh we love moona and i think

00:37:48.280 your messaging behind the song is beautiful because it's like sometimes when things are

00:37:53.880 really awful like we have no choice but to stay present and like to to try and enjoy life and

00:37:58.780 like really enjoy things that matter like put more time and pour more into the things that we really

00:38:04.300 love and that bring us joy there's like a part of it's so weird to say your own lyrics but

00:38:11.640 like it's like you have to live the life you're fighting for like i think a lot of

00:38:19.080 anyone's time could and should be spent working towards a world that they want to see yeah but

00:38:25.700 i know so many friends in organizing they get burnt out yeah so easily and i'm like you need

00:38:30.260 to be having fun like you're here trying to build and defend the world that you want but like

00:38:36.220 you can also like sit back and live it to remind yourself that it's worth fighting for in the first

00:38:41.620 place totally absolutely and it it plays into the earlier conversation we had about connection

00:38:46.600 because like connecting to other people humans in in love and friendship and community like that's

00:38:53.480 what i think some i got asked a question in an interview once when they're like when things are

00:38:57.340 terrible like they are now like what do you think about that makes you feel good or want to keep

00:39:02.400 going and i was like honestly community like that that's like the only thing that matters in times

00:39:07.780 like now and it's like connection to other people people who love you and care about you and cherish

00:39:14.360 you and like and that means like i always talk about platonic love being like just as if not

00:39:19.360 more important than romantic highest form of love no for real like it's it's i feel like when i think

00:39:24.940 about it too long especially how women connect to each other i'll cry because i think about how

00:39:29.640 beautiful it is that women have this expansive huge colorful world of emotions that they can

00:39:38.680 reach out and share with other women like and i've said like before like i know what it's like to be

00:39:44.040 loved because i've been loved by women like women especially yeah like the warmth and love from

00:39:48.840 women is incomparable to anyone else and i think that's why i also and hold such a high standard

00:39:55.840 for men because yeah i know what real love feels like like for real so it's got to match that at

00:40:01.840 the very fucking least because i think that's really all we have at the end of the day like

00:40:07.720 all we really have is each other right and i think that's why when people are really homophobic or 0.99

00:40:12.500 transphobic it makes me so fucking angry but also i'm like that sucks for you a life with no gay 0.98

00:40:17.120 people or trans people boring literally like my stomach just saying i know like if i had to just 0.99

00:40:23.760 it's truly like you for real and my i've luckily been raised around gay people my whole life

00:40:30.580 because my mom plays piano for uh community theater love richmond virginia yeah uh shout

00:40:36.540 out sandy dacus also retiring from being a music elementary school music teacher this year

00:40:41.420 congratulations to her um good job mom good job mom um but yeah i just i can't imagine life without

00:40:51.420 gay people oh my god me and yeah i but i also grew up tangential to that like right a lot of

00:40:59.720 people i grew up with didn't know any gay people yeah it was a sin like and i hate to say it but

00:41:07.180 it's getting worse some places might feel like it's getting better in some places but like

00:41:12.140 uh i still have a lot of family in the south and yeah um they're getting more radicalized and less

00:41:20.780 loving and um and just more blatant about their hatred and hatefulness it's just wild too when

00:41:28.580 like if your main man is jesus christ who like was kind to everyone yeah literally and it's kind

00:41:38.160 of his whole thing it's kind of his whole thing yeah that was kind of his thing was loving everyone

00:41:42.660 oh my god my dad is such a cool guy he gets cooler by the second like he we had like a

00:41:49.740 a time where we weren't as cool and now we are very close friends and um he

00:41:56.400 like recently was like lucy i just realized jesus didn't charge for health care

00:42:04.860 that's true he's like i'm gonna go tell my friends that jesus did not charge for health care

00:42:11.500 and that's true and he means the miracles that jesus performed amen yeah works in two ways i

00:42:18.300 was like that is a really great observation right that's very true yeah try coming back from that

00:42:25.440 one yes and you know it's it's funny you say that too because the other day are you have you ever

00:42:29.920 watched the pit the show i can't handle it really i have not seen it i will not see it i'm not doing

00:42:38.080 that you're too anxious it's just like really blood and guts that's true it is a lot of blood

00:42:44.000 guts i'm like my task at the end of the day is to have the heart rate go down like not up i don't

00:42:52.140 understand me out like that you can't be stressing me out like that like i have to the best i can do

00:42:57.220 is watch survivor and oh gee okay we will talk about survivor okay good but for the pit i was

00:43:03.480 gonna say i love the pit i've been watching it recently i bet it's awesome and maybe i will

00:43:07.120 watch it it is it is awesome but if you do get stressed out by medical shows definitely don't

00:43:11.340 watch that one that one is the most stressful medical show but it's in a fun way in a cool way

00:43:15.840 but um i was like talking to my man about this because i was like really high and i was watching

00:43:21.200 the pit and i was like if i think too much about hospitals being for profit it'll make me cry like

00:43:28.280 it'll make me cry and so angry and i'm gonna do something drastic yeah i can't i can't think about

00:43:32.700 it for too long some people have right and and you know what you know why some people have some

00:43:40.160 people have and yeah some people could and yeah i don't know anyone not personally but i do know

00:43:49.140 of it i know it's happened yeah but you know you can't ask me anything about that

00:43:54.480 but i have no real opinions other than that did happen yeah and i'm smiling that's unrelated

00:44:02.520 anyways like dipping our toes into like boiling hot water for real and it's like it it's when i

00:44:13.200 think about for-profit health care i think about doctors being put in these impossible positions

00:44:20.260 and nurses where they want to help people they like literally like want to go to school to learn

00:44:26.060 how to help people just so they can tell them i i can't treat you if you can't pay me money right

00:44:31.380 and the money doesn't go to me and they can't tell you what it's going to cost right um here's

00:44:36.060 something for if anyone is listening and you're like really rich here's something you can do

00:44:40.940 you can buy people's medical debt at an absolute penny fraction of what they are going to have to

00:44:46.940 pay and there's some database oh i i we need to be figuring this out yeah i clicked on the link

00:44:55.160 but you can basically uh not through a charity but through basic the the hospital system buy

00:45:03.080 people's medical debt oh my god no way i'm so glad you shared that with me and they would be

00:45:08.080 getting interest on it would be go to collections and stuff so uh something if someone is like super

00:45:14.200 generous yeah hell yeah i'm glad you told me that actually there there's something similar to that

00:45:19.080 where you can do that for school lunches for kids so you can like buy out the year for them or buy

00:45:24.080 a debt from them like some that's another thing they're like well you don't have the money so you

00:45:28.000 can't eat but you do have to come to school it's wrong weird because they need child care so the

00:45:34.640 parents can be doing labor yeah today capitalism is evil and crushing and and soulless and awful

00:45:41.560 and that's why when i think about for-profit health care it like truly makes me want a man

00:45:47.600 gioni yeah you say say his name i'm not gonna say his name say his name 0.98

00:45:52.800 you said it um everyone in my life is like fuck capitalism yeah and i think also a lot of people 0.98

00:46:03.600 in my life are starting to figure out like how and like in day-to-day like how can you personally 0.98

00:46:08.880 set up anti-capitalist structures even if it's just like giving without getting anything back

00:46:15.020 right that's like there's this book called the communism of love that er was on the show yes

00:46:22.280 love er er gave this book to like a ton of us and was like be reading this most er five master gift

00:46:29.800 i've ever the communism is the communism of love and it's like about how love is innately

00:46:37.440 anti-capitalist because it establishes um joyful imbalances and it's not an exchange economy like

00:46:44.400 when you love a child the child cannot materially give you back anything right uh with the elderly

00:46:49.660 or the infirm or the ill like there are reasons why they can't pay you back right either in like

00:46:56.240 with money or an exchange economy and that is a worthwhile gratifying yes like just like breaking

00:47:03.600 in your head that you have to get something at every turn that you do something i know yeah well

00:47:10.220 and also like similar to that in in sentiment is um in i'm samuan so like in in samuan culture like

00:47:17.280 there's a saying i can't remember it but it's like it's basically like the the gift is not in

00:47:22.460 receiving it's in the giving and it's specifically referring to money so like in in my culture we

00:47:28.240 like genuinely believe like you will live a very blessed and favored life if you give like give

00:47:34.020 and with no expectation of receiving so that that's how i've been raised was like is truly to

00:47:39.440 do it because you want to and like give because you want to and the point of money of getting

00:47:43.780 money is to give it away and to to give it to people who need it to give it to people you love

00:47:48.020 like to take care of people and so that's always how i've always felt about money like

00:47:53.240 in any regard like i've always been like well there's no point in having this if i can't share

00:47:57.240 it yeah and i think now now that i do this for a living i've you know was able to retire my parents

00:48:03.280 i retired my uncle like i retired my grandpa i take care of my family yeah and it's like it's

00:48:08.120 like the best most amazing feeling in the world yeah and my parents are still learning how to be

00:48:13.740 okay with being retired because they well that's a hard change yeah they've no well they've known

00:48:18.140 nothing but work like especially my mom and dad like my parents had us very young so my mom and

00:48:23.120 dad had my sister at 18 and then me at 20 so like i it's almost like reverse my mom was always like

00:48:29.660 we did everything ass backwards like they had us first then moved in then got married that's cool

00:48:35.440 So yeah, so they did everything completely backwards, which honestly, I think is really

00:48:39.500 funny because it makes even more sense why I've never looked at marriage as like an end

00:48:44.020 goal thing because I was with my man for seven years before we got engaged.

00:48:48.240 So which to some people was like the most insane like timeline in the world, which I

00:48:54.820 was like, why don't you want to know the person before you marry them?

00:48:57.900 Oh my God.

00:48:58.320 I do.

00:48:58.920 Yeah.

00:48:59.260 Want to live together.

00:49:00.180 I can't even, I can't even, I was going to say I can't even kiss you if I don't, that's

00:49:03.740 not true.

00:49:04.140 i know that's kind of a lie i'd be kissing i do but i do love to be kissing yeah yeah i i'm

00:49:12.400 notorious friends to lovers hell yeah and how do you you need trust that's what i'm saying

00:49:19.420 to have that relationship i don't i don't get how people do it the other way

00:49:23.920 me either that would kill me uh that would kill me when the when i see like love is blind that

00:49:30.140 would kill me i actually can't watch that me either no the pit no love is blind okay i'm

00:49:35.320 learning your boundaries okay got it it's the love shows where i'm like you don't mean it

00:49:40.160 like you want something else you don't actually want love i agree want like to serve a look on

00:49:46.560 television and be famous yeah which is i think a sickness i agree but i think also a lot of folks

00:49:54.700 are uh seemingly disenchanted quickly but then once you're in you're just in it yeah that's true

00:50:01.760 anyways well my point being i think like that was why when i was thinking about getting married i

00:50:08.700 was like i don't really care how it is like how big how small like i i just want to be married

00:50:15.940 like a lot of people ask me what's who are you most excited for for the wedding this sounds

00:50:20.560 corny as hell but to get married like i like i'm i'm excited to marry the love of my life like

00:50:24.820 that's literally what i'm fired up about no really it's a psyop that you would think that's corny

00:50:29.640 right whatever is like making love corny is is an actual psyop you're so right like 0.97

00:50:35.740 love is love like literally that's beautiful yeah fuck up like anybody who thinks that that is not 0.80

00:50:44.520 like the magic of the universe and the reason 0.89

00:50:46.980 that we're here.

00:50:48.100 Like, I actually makes me worked up.

00:50:54.240 Getting worked up about love, I get it.

00:50:55.980 Yes, and how people think that it's like gauche

00:50:58.460 or like buyable or just an aesthetic or girly also.

00:51:05.500 The fact that like, if love is girly,

00:51:07.260 like that's a problem.

00:51:09.120 Love is so girly. 1.00

00:51:09.960 Don't be putting it on the girls to do the loving. 0.98

00:51:11.900 They're like, fellas, is it gay to love? 0.99

00:51:14.520 that's a gate of love 1.00

00:51:16.380 someone tell me

00:51:18.220 is it gay to fall in love?

00:51:19.260 in a good way yeah

00:51:20.720 for you it is yes

00:51:23.280 yeah fellas it's gay to love

00:51:25.620 and you know what get into it

00:51:27.240 you have to

00:51:28.620 it's your one task

00:51:30.860 you're right though

00:51:31.600 a lot of the world's problems would be solved with love

00:51:34.780 if there was more of it

00:51:36.400 I think if people accepted that they're gonna die

00:51:39.060 I think people could be loving more

00:51:44.200 i think people could be fearing death less that's true that's actually such a good point yeah

00:51:49.280 the two extremes i love that yeah that's perfect yeah no you're right though about the death thing

00:51:56.020 especially you're so right i've i've like kind of been talking through that too in therapy like

00:52:02.820 yeah my i mean it's hard to do right but i also i don't i don't want to say i don't fear death

00:52:07.880 because that's not i don't think i fear it you have to fear it to stay alive you need to be

00:52:12.060 crossing the street at the right time exactly so it's like i don't want to say don't fear it i think

00:52:15.840 i'm just not afraid it i guess is the word like it doesn't scare me i i do avoid i do want to avoid

00:52:21.800 it yeah if i'd rather not i'd rather not yeah i got i do have some stuff next week so i'd rather

00:52:26.520 not yeah but that being said um i think i've made peace with it in a way that's like i think what i

00:52:32.940 fear more is people i love dying yeah i fear that more than me what i fear the most

00:52:38.080 first love is blind now we're talking about our deepest fears what i fear the most the fact that

00:52:44.300 we got to what i fear the most yes but it's other people in my life dying unfulfilled or with

00:52:51.260 regrets which i don't even have control over which is like why i would fear it right that's like if

00:52:56.680 i'm like on if i'm with a loved one and they're like i did it wrong that's and they're gone yeah

00:53:03.280 that is like the worst thing i can think of yeah luckily like i think

00:53:07.780 some people in my life are tilting towards feeling good and proud of themselves oh totally

00:53:15.600 that's hopefully that's the arc of life but i don't think people consider their their last

00:53:21.260 moments enough as a motivating force to be someone you're proud of day to day that's so true

00:53:28.080 yeah well and i also think too they like they're my my man and i were actually just talking about

00:53:32.540 this recently about like this fallacy of like legacy like oh i want to like i want to leave a

00:53:38.100 legacy behind that's also a huge pillar in like misogyny that's another reason they they do this

00:53:42.600 weird shit because they're like i need to leave something i need to leave something behind but i 0.85

00:53:47.480 feel like when you're so focused on that you you look at it in a way in a capitalist way or in a 0.99

00:53:52.860 way like that's like i need to like make a name for myself in that way like i need to be famous

00:53:57.840 need to be rich i need to be something like that um but they're like there's someone like that i

00:54:03.380 lost during covid who i will never forget and it devastates me that she won't be at my wedding

00:54:07.740 because she was my cousin but she was someone who legacy you want to talk about legacy like

00:54:13.460 she was just the best person i've ever met so like i'll never forget her no one who's ever met

00:54:18.000 her will ever forget her because of that and that's purely love that there there was no fame

00:54:23.820 there was no money it was like just the way she moved in life was so beautiful and big and colorful

00:54:29.800 and profound and it touched everyone and she was friends with everybody and everybody loved her so

00:54:33.980 it was like that's to me legacy like that's like that's something that matters that's something

00:54:38.180 that that people give a fuck about people will remember will carry with them i think too often

00:54:43.180 it's put on like materialist possessions like material things or like um intangible things

00:54:49.280 like being famous like it's which are so moot I guess like at the end of it all it really doesn't

00:54:55.400 none of that fucking matters like at the end of it so I feel like you're right about making

00:55:01.420 peace with like not being so afraid of it like not being so afraid of death and more so focusing 0.94

00:55:06.500 I think that helps you focus on the now yeah even more so like you said the legacy is like

00:55:12.760 the peace of yourself you leave in other people like it's not absolutely castle that you build

00:55:18.740 for them to live in right um moving to la like i i didn't grow up around like rich people pretty

00:55:25.540 much at all same and then yeah and then then coming here it's wild it's way different and

00:55:31.820 the way that people are even just raised to think about i'm like you are playing monopoly

00:55:37.240 like and maybe literally doing monopolies like i like the game that was made after you like

00:55:45.560 i yeah the real goal is to stack and hoard actually and there's this like shame and if

00:55:53.740 you size down and it's really wild like even having friends where i feel like i have to like

00:56:00.940 gently just be like you know it's okay to have a job right it feels really weird to say that to

00:56:07.980 someone i'm like everyone in my life had jobs like i was just like i had jobs like yeah what

00:56:15.660 were some of your jobs i was an assistant in like uh an office once i was like an assistant to a

00:56:22.900 publicist i was a waitress i was a booth bitch that's the fun term i like to call it but i just

00:56:28.480 used to work booths at like festivals and stuff oh cool for nothing fun food things no it was for

00:56:34.280 nothing fun booth okay i did this very specific job where i worked for my mom right after i got

00:56:38.760 out of college and i would um basically i was doing outreach for uh major infrastructure projects

00:56:46.080 which is a fancy bitch term for me going door to door and telling you about construction and 0.94

00:56:53.160 your commute's gonna suck for the next like 15 years cool with that and i would get like screamed 0.97

00:56:58.040 dad on porches so i did that for a bit i worked for the nfl that was what do you do i did uh

00:57:04.360 social media for them yeah i worked for you like throw that ball yeah i was saying touchdown yeah

00:57:11.480 yeah yes exactly number four exactly you nailed it yeah that was honestly probably one of my worst

00:57:21.760 jobs i think the hardest job i've ever had was a waitress but yeah what about you um i was a

00:57:27.580 waitress for four days uh my friend actually had a job at a chinese restaurant on our block okay and

00:57:33.420 they had finals and they got they fired somebody and they booked my friend for um doubles for a

00:57:41.500 full week over finals and so my friend it was a loose operation yeah was like i'm gonna teach you

00:57:46.360 how to do my job and you're gonna show up for me oh and the people but my friend also like spoke

00:57:52.700 chinese and i did not and the the chef and the owner were both she goes they're not gonna notice

00:57:57.320 the difference between you and i yeah just get in there and i showed up and like basically they

00:58:02.340 were like pick up the phone when someone calls write down find it in the menu put it back didn't

00:58:08.600 train me on if someone walked in because everyone was doing takeout orders and so then when the

00:58:14.060 first people came in like hey we'd like to eat here i'm like like um i'll be right back uh i'm

00:58:19.820 like where are the utensils where are the napkins and they're like we need water like it was it was

00:58:24.020 really bad you were like kind of a waitress and like my friend told me that i would get a shift

00:58:29.240 meal that i think that the the chef was so mad i was there i was not fed so you're not even eating 0.71

00:58:35.880 and i think also it's like she doesn't get to eat she sucks the place is closed now i think it was

00:58:41.020 like a two dollars and 75 cents an hour that you're supposed to were you working in the 1920s

00:58:47.660 I was working in Richmond, Virginia.

00:58:51.200 But it's like they're supposed to pay you up to minimum wage

00:58:54.780 and they're hoping that tips will get you

00:58:57.340 to over minimum wage without them,

00:58:59.860 but they did not do that.

00:59:01.620 So I made $2.75 an hour.

00:59:05.860 It was like, yeah, it was about a week of that. 0.99

00:59:08.240 Damn. 0.98

00:59:09.380 Yeah, my serving job wasn't very long either. 0.98

00:59:11.120 I think I worked there for like three and a half months,

00:59:14.020 four months, got fired.

00:59:16.060 I've told the story before.

00:59:17.340 Well, I got put on call.

00:59:18.560 I got put on call because the manager was mad at me that I wouldn't work over Christmas.

00:59:23.280 And I was living in Hawaii at the time because I was going to school.

00:59:25.720 So that was my second job.

00:59:26.920 I had a different job.

00:59:27.860 So that was my second job.

00:59:29.140 It was like my fun job.

00:59:30.400 I used to get tipped out really heavy because it was like a high-end steak restaurant.

00:59:36.120 Here?

00:59:37.060 No, in Hawaii.

00:59:37.780 Okay, right.

00:59:38.580 You just said that.

00:59:39.600 It was like a high-end steak restaurant.

00:59:41.420 But I had to wear khaki shorts and like a t-shirt, which is kind of strange.

00:59:46.500 but then i like the my last day on like on my regular shifts i trained a guy who was terrible

00:59:53.560 and i thought he was giving me more responsibility having me train so i was like oh my god okay

00:59:57.780 perfect i'm gonna like teach him how to be great and then he kept leaving in the middle of the

01:00:01.860 shift and i found out he was smoking meth in the bathroom which is a bummer that is um yeah so then

01:00:06.960 i was like damn bummer i gotta tell the guy he smokes meth i don't know if you want that in the 0.52

01:00:10.920 restaurant and then when i went out there to go tell him he was like you're fired and the fella 0.96

01:00:16.400 is in yes oh he's like you just trained your replacement and i said okay so i didn't tell

01:00:22.820 that's tricky yeah so i just didn't tell him about the meth thing because i figured well

01:00:26.160 you'll find out yeah you'll see yeah and they did the next day on shift like he left in the

01:00:30.940 middle of the shift again to go smoke meth and then was like i guess hungry at some point so

01:00:35.600 then he left again in the middle of the shift and he made himself a dessert and was sitting in the

01:00:39.880 very back of the freezer and they couldn't find him and then he was back there eating yeah that's

01:00:44.180 i got fired the funny part about that story too is that every time i tell that story i'll tell it

01:00:50.360 in great detail sometimes i'll tell a truncated version like that and then there's always at least

01:00:55.260 two dingbats in the comments going meth doesn't make you hungry so yeah um i think it was weed 0.80

01:01:03.540 so yeah as if they were fucking there talk about parasocial i was like hey did you laugh okay first 1.00

01:01:09.620 of all fuck off if you laughed you fuck off if not i know the difference i know the difference 1.00

01:01:15.300 between meth and weed believe it or not believe it has a smell believe it or not so like i i i 1.00

01:01:20.820 know what weed smells like and i know what meth smells like i just had to say that because every

01:01:24.820 time they post it they're like meth makes you not hungry so yeah so yeah i mean i would check that

01:01:32.080 detail of the story so are they like a teenager who looked it up on reddit oh i'm sure that's the

01:01:37.240 thing i feel like unless they're a meth head i'm not taking your word for it

01:01:40.400 that in your comments like actually for my experience

01:01:42.960 actually that's not true yeah yeah i'm not actually hungry right now so i never hungry

01:01:51.280 when i smoke meth interesting yeah so anywho that was my experience serving but it was a very very

01:01:56.940 awful job mostly because i had never had human interaction like when i was a waitress i literally

01:02:05.120 told someone i feel like some people leave their homes with the intention of ruining the life and

01:02:12.440 day of a server they're ready that's what they're paying for is the opportunity to humiliate and

01:02:17.300 degree yes i even so my grandma's 96 and she's not i would say an awful person okay she i but

01:02:25.980 at a restaurant she was raised she also has been through the depression like she's very she's like

01:02:31.680 a bit of a hoarder um there's a lot going on there uh she has dementia at this point love her

01:02:37.840 grandma uh she is walking in deciding if she's gonna give a tip or not the tip at most is two

01:02:47.980 dollars if you're awesome and like she's testing you to see if you earn this tip and one thing

01:02:58.240 she'll do is like look at the menu and then just see what ingredients are back there and be like

01:03:02.580 make this like she's not ordering a thing she's like i see you have salmon i see you have broccoli 0.96

01:03:07.740 i assume you have salt we're gonna do like a different go ahead and whip me up a bowl

01:03:12.300 yeah she's doing a secret menu at every restaurant she is every restaurant is just

01:03:17.960 someone's kitchen i love when they're like um i want a hamburger we don't have that well do you

01:03:24.120 have bread and meat sounds like you got a hamburger yeah go and whip that up for me mash it up she's

01:03:28.700 honestly kind of hilarious for that my grandpa's similar to that too like she also smoked hookah

01:03:33.620 on her i think 80th birthday period and yeah she's an absolute icon yeah yeah my grandpa is

01:03:40.760 loves to drink loves michelope ultra specifically and he's big smoker so like my grandpa's been

01:03:47.060 smoking cigarettes since he was fucking probably like 11 so he he's big smoker and i remember one 0.68

01:03:53.580 time my mom was like trying to put like life insurance policies in place for like like for 0.91

01:03:58.500 my grandpa but like because he just refused to go and hates the doctor and all that so like 0.97

01:04:02.320 my mom had to do like an end of life kind of life insurance policy because he would just never 0.99

01:04:07.340 qualify because he's a chain smoker and a drinker but my mom was like when they come to like do the

01:04:12.620 little intake form right to see if you qualify do me a favor can you lie a little bit about how

01:04:18.720 much you smoke like this is one of my grandpa's smoky cigarettes now he vapes but like yeah

01:04:22.580 smoking cigarettes he goes yeah yeah yeah then they come and do the intake they're like so do

01:04:26.660 you smoke he says yeah they're like how much he has like two packs and they're like oh okay like

01:04:30.640 a week and he goes no a day my grandpa's smoking marble reds two packs a day at one point i was

01:04:37.420 like oh and my grandpa's gonna outlive everyone i'm like convinced yeah i don't know there's

01:04:43.260 something in that again we need the science actually i don't even want to say this because

01:04:46.880 Smoking is bad.

01:04:49.260 I will say the science on old people who have been smoking.

01:04:52.460 That's what I'm saying.

01:04:53.720 Because there's so many ancient baddies that are smoking.

01:04:57.400 And is it just the consistency that their bodies are attuned to?

01:05:03.220 Maybe.

01:05:03.420 Did they just teach their body at a young age?

01:05:05.620 Again, the science is not here.

01:05:07.280 We do not have a science.

01:05:08.860 And we are not advocating for it.

01:05:10.860 I more so want to understand it.

01:05:13.040 Like, how did it happen?

01:05:13.900 I do.

01:05:14.300 Yeah, I think this is something I'll look up.

01:05:15.840 Kind of like the dinosaurs.

01:05:16.880 like i'm just like i'm not gonna do anything really with the info i just want to know right

01:05:20.400 have you seen the dinosaur netflix documentary no how'd they do that oh my oh well i was like

01:05:26.520 they went back in time i feel like this is an april fool's thing no i'm sorry

01:05:33.220 there's a new dinosaur documentary is something that someone would have said to me

01:05:38.900 in the fourth grade and i would have been like what it would have been like one of those trick

01:05:43.040 things where i was like oh have you heard from joe and then they say joe mama i do i feel like 0.98

01:05:50.100 i'm about to be i'm gonna get you for being stupid that's a real well well that's a real 0.94

01:05:59.000 documentary okay tell me about it there's a dinosaur documentary on netflix it's narrated 0.99

01:06:02.900 by morgan freeman it's really good it's very informative and honestly kind of beautiful you

01:06:08.140 should watch it what are they documenting they're they're documenting well obviously it's all

01:06:12.240 animation of said dinosaur thank you for saying that 3d printed dinosaurs no it's literally all

01:06:21.580 animation but it looks really real but like it's not it's like planet earth but yes i love planet

01:06:28.360 earth love planet earth do you like documentaries um i have in my life and then i took kind of a

01:06:33.640 dark turn it was like i've learned too much and i need to me too yeah i went through a phase like

01:06:38.620 that too sometimes i like when i watch ones especially ones when they're like uh murder

01:06:43.720 cases kidnapping things whatever yeah especially because the victim's almost always a woman

01:06:47.660 when i would watch those i felt like i was like studying like just in case someone something

01:06:54.060 tries to happen to me oh my gosh i used to like tape like studying i was like i have to be aware

01:06:58.380 of all of the potential threats around me okay cool that's how i felt like i call that ocd now

01:07:03.860 personally you can never understand what that means to me that you said that right now because

01:07:09.840 i am sniffing around an ocd diagnosis yeah my therapist yeah i told my therapist and this was

01:07:14.740 one of the few times i've made her laugh and yes i keep count because she keeps she keeps me at

01:07:18.500 arm's length and i really want so badly to come to her but she's like no i just found out she was

01:07:23.880 married recently and also bi and i did not know that well i was like oh my god i have a gay

01:07:28.580 therapist yes i was feeling so oh thank god that's great oh i felt so liberated by it but yeah i'd

01:07:35.460 been seeing her for a year but still yeah i just found that out that's great i've had a lot of

01:07:39.340 therapists that i know so much about their life because you go in and like say like how are you

01:07:44.180 and like i do kind of want to move on from that but i can't help but ask and i have a great

01:07:51.980 therapist now that is like awesome but i've had therapists that are like oh you know like i went

01:07:56.600 camping with my boyfriend and my sisters really bought this has happened multiple times where

01:08:01.140 i it's like i'm phoning a friend and they're just like telling me so much and i'm like well how did

01:08:06.280 you feel about what your mom said now you're the therapist and then i brought it up with the

01:08:11.920 therapist i was like hey i've noticed that like we kind of split time like we're 50 50 like we're

01:08:17.980 about 50 50 like half an hour begin we were talking about you and then we get into myself

01:08:22.100 for about half an hour and he was like well I'm mirroring I'm trying to set an example of openness 0.98

01:08:28.780 that you can mirror what kind of gaslight ass fucking it was wild well why don't you take some 0.98

01:08:40.180 fucking notes Lucy yeah that's how you're it was like you what actually he was like you like need 0.99

01:08:46.460 to feel that this is a reciprocal like he'd yeah and it kept going and I stayed with that therapist 0.99

01:08:52.080 for a year like and that being said i did find i did end up losing him a year later yeah i ended

01:08:59.220 up changing therapy yeah i feel my my last therapist was great um i loved her she was

01:09:04.880 awesome but there were points where sometimes she would say things like like if i'm talking

01:09:10.580 about cultural stuff like i feel like there has to be a cultural understanding too if you and

01:09:14.400 your therapist are not the same ethnicity i feel like there has to be some sort of cultural

01:09:18.480 understanding so like sometimes she would say things like well why don't you just set boundaries 0.99

01:09:23.640 with your family and i'm like well now you're just talking stupid to me no yeah 0.97

01:09:28.460 because like we are working on boundaries but like the way she would tell me to do it 0.98

01:09:34.600 it would just be like you should just tell them just do that yeah that's not how it works in my

01:09:39.900 family i also don't think i think therapists are not actually supposed to tell you what to do

01:09:43.200 right i think they're supposed to kind of like guide you to your own towards the end she was

01:09:46.860 kind of like hey so i'm leaving see ya like she was leaving the like company i'm with and i was

01:09:52.440 like oh okay so then i found a new therapist and i love her okay great love her but i did

01:09:59.120 back to the ocd thing yeah i am sniffing around that i have realized as a kid did you ever

01:10:05.020 look up ways to die and then how to avoid it yes yeah see i think it's a pretty common thing

01:10:14.600 well they had that show too like a thousand ways to die yes and i would be like how would i avoid

01:10:19.800 that and i'd be on the computer like you know how to like what shoes should i wear in this

01:10:26.440 situation right i was always really scared of um quicksand right luckily i haven't had actually

01:10:34.400 well first okay if you get in quicksand you need to go sideways and pull yourself out

01:10:44.560 you can't be climbing because you're going to extend the area that is not secure and sink

01:10:51.260 faster i went hiking in scotland with my friend okay and it's beautiful there's moss everywhere

01:10:59.140 and i'm just walking and suddenly i'm swallowed by the earth oh my god there is the ground and

01:11:06.400 and then it wasn't the ground, and I am in the earth.

01:11:09.900 What the hell?

01:11:10.740 And my quicksand knowledge saved my life

01:11:15.740 because I got swallowed by a bog,

01:11:18.020 and I kicked my feet up and went parallel with the ground,

01:11:21.260 and I pulled myself out of the bog,

01:11:25.700 and it was the same situation

01:11:26.820 that if I had tried to lift myself,

01:11:28.420 I would have just been breaking off more,

01:11:30.100 and it's really scary because if your head goes under,

01:11:32.160 the ground, the moss goes back,

01:11:35.020 So you can't really see what kind of Harry Potter ass forest were you guys

01:11:39.900 hiking in?

01:11:40.620 It was a beautiful,

01:11:41.300 like Scottish,

01:11:42.520 like they have a quicksand in Scotland. 0.64

01:11:44.440 Yeah.

01:11:44.900 I,

01:11:45.320 it probably sounds like the dergo ringle or something.

01:11:49.620 Like,

01:11:50.060 I don't remember.

01:11:51.460 Yeah.

01:11:52.100 It was,

01:11:53.020 it was something,

01:11:54.020 uh,

01:11:54.600 rarely said in,

01:11:55.880 in a,

01:11:56.260 in a life like mine.

01:11:57.900 It was amazing.

01:12:00.560 It was,

01:12:00.780 I felt so elated that like my,

01:12:03.180 my,

01:12:04.100 like,

01:12:05.020 child fear knowledge okay i'm like okay so this validates all of that time i've ever said yeah

01:12:11.820 this is i need to keep it was probably not good for me honestly but i thought i would think that

01:12:17.940 too like i would i would always think like well i have to know like i would tell my mom like

01:12:21.920 whenever i would find something new that i would i would like find something and i'm like

01:12:25.620 i need to learn everything there is to know about this just in case yeah just in case someone asked

01:12:32.700 me or i myself find myself in that situation and i've said this on the show before but like one of

01:12:38.860 them is titanic like i was i was very brother has the titanic gene whatever whatever you have

01:12:44.480 yeah yeah i was just really fascinated by the titanic but i learned about the titanic before

01:12:49.740 the movie came out like in when i was a kid so i literally was so into it i needed to learn

01:12:56.520 literally everything that my mom would buy me books and i would study up on it and because

01:13:00.900 it was just so fascinating the fact that they'd never had a ship like that before they were ill

01:13:04.460 equipped for the ocean yeah they'd never made that journey at that time especially in the winter

01:13:08.660 i was like doing all this research then i watched the movie and after the movie was over i like told

01:13:14.680 my mom i was like is that a true story and she was like what like jack and rose and i go yeah she goes 0.81

01:13:19.480 no and i go what's the fucking point what's the point what's the point of that movie that's why 0.90

01:13:24.000 you love documentary yes i watched the movie i said they didn't talk about the ship they didn't 0.98

01:13:27.440 talk about the class system happening they didn't talk about the captain i was like they didn't

01:13:30.640 cover any of the high points do you know about the titanic conspiracy theory which one okay i'm

01:13:36.260 gonna say this i love that you said which one yeah let's not skip over that um there's plenty

01:13:42.760 i'm gonna start and then you take over okay okay if i if i know it i'll take it weren't there a

01:13:47.120 bunch of banking people who were had tickets to be on the titanic yes and they all returned their

01:13:54.880 tickets at like the week before and there were other banking people on the boat and so there's

01:14:02.100 this conspiracy theory that it was meant to crash crash in order to form like it would have major

01:14:10.380 global economy implications why and it's i think maybe there's still like the banks that we think

01:14:16.960 of as big yeah the people who were in charge of them at that time are the people that didn't get

01:14:21.400 on the Titanic okay I just got chills and I could have made that up I've never heard that one before

01:14:27.200 I think there are parts of it that are true yeah well honestly at this point yeah probably yeah I

01:14:34.200 feel like we've been exposed to so many like cracks and terrible things like in America's

01:14:39.440 history just generally speaking we've known for a long time but now even especially now like there's

01:14:44.700 been so many other things where you're like it goes all the way to the top yeah so I wouldn't

01:14:49.120 be surprised to be honest i guess that's my point at this point i'll i'll believe anything like that

01:14:53.540 especially if it has to do with the elite that's so sad rich and powerful we should not be

01:14:58.340 used to this no absolutely the dazzle camouflage right is working and this is this is genuinely a

01:15:06.540 very insane pivot but i will relate back to what we're talking about are you familiar with the

01:15:10.800 show paradise at all is paradise the one no i'm thinking bachelor in paradise um which i have to

01:15:19.580 say i haven't seen but it seems cool um paradise is a scripted tv show on hulu and it has like

01:15:27.120 sterling k brown's in it who else is in it james morrison's in it lots of people cool banger 0.72

01:15:34.140 fucking show i am telling i am pushing that show like i'm paid to do it like i'm just like it's so 0.83

01:15:40.100 good but it's a long story short it's about the end of the world oh but and spoiler if you haven't 0.99

01:15:45.400 watched this is not really a spoiler but it's basically the point of it is it centers on the

01:15:51.420 head of security for the president at the time that the world ends but the world ends by like

01:15:57.760 a climate thing like a very awful climate thing that's happening so it's very real like it's

01:16:02.220 really rooted in reality like now which makes it kind of spooky but you find out that like the

01:16:08.000 world's richest most powerful people were planning ahead of time because they knew it was coming

01:16:13.780 and didn't prepare anybody yeah so they built this bunker and essentially all moved into it

01:16:19.920 and planned to move into it when it happened and left everybody else to die and the bunker's like

01:16:24.620 paradise yeah and so but inside the Paris it's like an underground bunker everything is fake

01:16:29.780 so it's like they have a fake sun they have fake rain they have fake wind but it's like really nice

01:16:33.420 and bougie yeah it's like it's like a like a suburban like city that's what it looks like

01:16:38.160 oh there's like a whole sky yes you have to get into it lucy you have to get into it okay maybe

01:16:43.780 it's so good it's so interesting but my point being like i was like when i was watching i was

01:16:48.400 like that would happen i wouldn't be surprised if it's happened already if it's happening that's

01:16:51.760 happening like prep preparing and not preparing the american people essentially for it because

01:16:56.300 they don't care and when they like they talk about how they made selections of who to pick

01:17:01.360 to go in there and they pick based off like what they believe you have to contribute whether it's

01:17:06.620 like you're a doctor or a scientist or like you had to just prove no entertainers right we're no

01:17:12.000 fuck no we're dead yeah if that happens they're leaving it but they don't it doesn't does money 0.60

01:17:18.260 stop mattering yeah because it's like that's the crazy part is like and this again spoiler spoiler 0.99

01:17:23.200 spoiler but like they think nothing is outside anymore because everything like there was like

01:17:28.440 a huge tidal waves there was earthquakes like the sun blacked out for like i think a year or

01:17:34.000 something like that so crops died it's like awful but there are people still surviving and so up

01:17:39.220 there that's when they start you start seeing and this is me like getting so super woke leftist my

01:17:44.760 blue hair's on cool but i was like i'm putting my blue hair on i've always wanted blue hair and i've

01:17:50.460 never done it i've never dyed my hair and i just want to say that i'm with you all

01:17:54.240 spiritually please continue yes exactly it's truly so beautiful how they write human connection in it

01:18:01.900 because they show like how really at the end of the day the only thing that really matters is

01:18:06.480 community because when the world is ending nobody cares i was gonna say if you're if you want to do

01:18:10.680 some light doomsday prepping start loving people right exactly yeah start like knowing who's around

01:18:17.400 you absolutely and yeah get a water filtration system yeah yeah and a generator yeah get

01:18:24.720 canned foods canned foods dry food yeah get a good backpack that's lightweight well and i learned 0.95

01:18:33.180 this from i don't know if this is true and it might be i might be dumb as fuck for saying it 0.77

01:18:37.600 but like in the in the the show there's a part where there's a mailman and he's like some of 0.94

01:18:43.080 the postal offices around the u.s were built to withstand nuclear like fallout that's real or

01:18:49.320 it's in i don't know if it's real we but it feels like google has like a third person right we need

01:18:54.400 a scientist with a laptop to either be answering our questions or looking them up yeah exactly

01:18:59.500 and i think it's a beautiful thing because it shows like community how much they need each

01:19:04.580 other like how they bond and and rebuild life human life and just generally it's honestly so

01:19:10.620 beautiful the writing in it is that's great i've been saying i want more like post-apocalyptic

01:19:15.880 like not like everyone's gonna shoot each other right eat each other whatever like zombies we

01:19:21.320 need some like okay so what are we meant to do right i need like some good visions exactly in

01:19:25.920 general like art just you have the chance to give good ideas right about what is gonna happen

01:19:32.400 no for real and it's literally like it's watching it is like i think to myself i would hope if it

01:19:39.900 did end like that i would hope that people would be able to come together like that in that kind 0.52

01:19:45.600 of way like in that beautiful almost like poetic way it's like when everything goes to shit then

01:19:52.340 everybody starts loving each other whatever it takes kind of thing you do i that wasn't a i'm

01:19:59.640 about to say something cough that was a something was in my throat it's okay but around the fires

01:20:06.440 here like i really did see people show up for each other in a way like sure there's always

01:20:11.900 going to be people who like buy too much toilet paper during covid right um which is a good

01:20:17.460 litmus test for how you might be some people were stockpiling their own toilet paper and some people

01:20:22.740 were going and buying and distributing toilet paper for others yeah but um it was cool to see

01:20:29.280 like ideally you don't have to remember the net but when some there's a rip in it like it

01:20:37.300 reactivates this whole network that's so true that like i don't i do believe that people are

01:20:44.500 like that i agree overall i agree and that's what my friend caleb says you know caleb he says that

01:20:50.520 all the time you love caleb i know you do everybody does whatever okay just kidding he

01:20:54.960 and i have a an enemies to lovers thing going on really and i what probably okay but the cutie pie

01:21:00.540 brigade why are you not yeah you need to be like maximizing i know our joints lay yeah yeah that's

01:21:07.800 true um but he's he said before and i really do find it to be true and i think the way he lives

01:21:14.420 his life is a beautiful rendition of it but he's like i do believe that most people are good like

01:21:20.800 inherently good and i think that's a beautiful sentiment to hold especially now like for him to

01:21:26.540 be able to still carry that is honestly beautiful and profound i'm with him i know and i i sense

01:21:32.120 that about you too that's why i think that is a beautiful thing like and it is important like

01:21:36.160 you need people who are skeptical in a way that's like trying to protect you but you also need

01:21:41.580 people who are open and loving and that's why i'm like in those moments if paradise ever happens

01:21:47.200 i'd like to think that we'd be okay like yeah the communities the world like in some regard i'd like

01:21:52.720 to think that i like to think that because i feel like if you don't have that everything seems

01:21:56.620 pointless yeah and hopeless like which i can't be doing that right now pointless and hopeless yeah

01:22:01.820 yeah no can't be doing that right now no i'm learning to garden i oh my gosh i'm love that

01:22:07.880 hopefully gonna get better at fishing i want to have skills to offer right girl i gotta i gotta

01:22:14.080 to get up my skills i'm trying to provide okay you're you're living in animal crossing it sounds

01:22:18.160 like you're doing you know what i have like a bone to pick with those because i'm like if you

01:22:22.660 wanted to do this you literally could or like maybe not everyone not everyone has land a lot

01:22:29.020 of people are in cities yeah like but a little box plant that you can then make real pesto hell

01:22:37.340 yeah or uh i don't know anyone who loves those like i would say like go buy a small bag of dirt

01:22:43.360 and some seeds and just see what happens yeah my friend bretman um he volunteers at like a plant

01:22:51.000 nursery i love that and so he like loves to just take care of the plants like he loves to be around

01:22:55.260 them i think nature is so healing too like being able and like putting your hands in dirt and like

01:23:01.040 your feet in the grass like that kind of thing i feel like especially since i'm polynesian like

01:23:05.660 i feel very connected to the earth like in a lot of ways that's why i always cry as soon as i go

01:23:10.660 back home to hawaii or anywhere that's polynesian at all like that kind of land like i have to go

01:23:15.920 cry and stand on the beach just look at the ocean yeah just let her talk to me for a little bit yeah

01:23:20.520 feel so spiritually connected to the land especially over there that's awesome it's a

01:23:24.560 beautiful and amazing i would love to learn how to garden is it hard i am just starting so what

01:23:31.200 i've done so far is not hard it's just going to the store and like getting the stuff okay um i did

01:23:36.700 make like a chicken wire enclosure for my things so i am being greedy i want them more than i want

01:23:43.560 the squirrels to have them um even though i am kind of living in their house yeah they'll be

01:23:48.280 okay i'm curious i know a lot of people who are like don't visit hawaii is that um i think it

01:23:56.020 depends it depends on who and i will preface this i'm not from hawaii but i do have a lot of family

01:24:00.820 in hawaii and i lived in hawaii for a long time because of school so i was living there for a

01:24:04.560 time and my family lives there so that's why it's like another home to me yeah and you can like oh

01:24:10.160 yeah i'm just curious because i know like a lot of indigenous people are like it's but then i know

01:24:14.800 some hawaiian people that are like at this point the economy relies on it is like the tourism's

01:24:20.080 like 75 of their economy so like they they literally need tourism to survive that being said

01:24:25.760 i think that when you do go you have to go in a way that's respectful right so it's like

01:24:31.920 where you stay and how you stay how you move like on the island um is imperative to your visit

01:24:37.700 also to like um taking anything from the land that's like one of the first things i tell people

01:24:42.720 one of my girlfriends went and took her kids a while ago and i was like reaching out we were

01:24:48.000 talking about it and i told her like just do me a favor like don't take anything like it's it's

01:24:52.100 kapu which is like taboo to take anything um the point is to give back to the land to be

01:24:56.900 polite and respectful and love the land they have like a saying called malamada i know which is like

01:25:01.780 to love love the land so it's like picking up trash when you see it like i i always do that

01:25:06.520 even here but especially over there and just um not taking anything is the biggest thing because

01:25:11.880 i know people like to take like rocks seashells flowers like things like that don't do that 0.77

01:25:16.380 a curse will be put on you and i'm being dead ass about that like don't do that don't touch them

01:25:21.560 and just be kind and respectful and there's like this this like stigma too in hawaii about like 0.97

01:25:27.440 oh they're racist against white people which like that's an oxymoron sentence so that's funny

01:25:31.980 okay but also they're skeptical because the term haoli means foreigner but there was only one

01:25:38.980 foreigner that went over there that's why it's always associated with white people so like

01:25:43.160 whenever you get called the haoli it's not always disrespectful that's another thing to know but i

01:25:48.180 think it's so i think it's okay to go as long as you go respectfully and you also i think it helps

01:25:53.140 to talk to people who are polynesian who live there like local people it's just like the polite

01:25:59.000 thing to do like just to act like a guest in the house because you are kind of yeah but that's what

01:26:05.220 my my family and friends have said to me too like it's just it's one of those things where it's like

01:26:09.480 well it's we're here now so it's not like you can't go um because you're gonna go if you want

01:26:14.460 to go so if you're gonna go at least go kindly it's kind of related to the restaurant thing

01:26:19.720 it's like some people you go to a restaurant i love a restaurant and i'm so grateful that someone

01:26:24.760 spent so much time learning how to do that because i can't do that for real i cook but

01:26:29.980 some stuff is impossible yeah and like actually makes me feel like a kid like i'm seeing new

01:26:34.600 colors like some some good food is like truly inspiring right i agree i've like me and i have

01:26:41.640 a lot of friends that love to eat and we just will cry at a restaurant and if there's like someone

01:26:45.840 who's a great server i'm just like you're probably having a bad day because you're a server and like

01:26:50.680 you deserve some lightness in your life or at least somebody who's not trying to get something

01:26:58.400 else from you than the food or exert power over you right yeah because they don't have any whatever

01:27:04.240 regard yeah the way you do anything is the way you do everything period what's your sign by the

01:27:10.080 way do you want to guess i feel like i can't i've been trying to guess the whole time in my head

01:27:14.700 yeah i just can't can't nail you down

01:27:17.300 are you an earth sign yeah

01:27:21.340 are you a taurus yes i knew it oh my god wait that's awesome yeah i knew it and i take it as

01:27:30.080 a compliment hell yeah right i love tauruses okay wait should i guess yours sure yeah no that is

01:27:36.800 huge yeah i love you great tourist men but it's it's it's a rarity yeah it is um are you a fire

01:27:42.380 sign no that is my rising though oh yeah are you so that's probably why you got that is my point

01:27:48.780 yeah sorry about the elephant herd up there

01:27:51.580 i would have said earth sign because we've just been having yes you are i am an earth sign yes

01:27:57.460 are you a taurus no okay close though well yeah there's only two other ones

01:28:03.940 um i'm trying to give you something i know peppercorn no you're virgo yes um yeah i'm a

01:28:13.140 virgo but i only think that's very obvious in like how mean i can be wow and how successful i am

01:28:21.940 only and i say that literally and also just kind of like a flex yeah just because i'm a worker like

01:28:26.880 i'm a worker b like i love to work yeah so i'm all about work yeah my dad's a virgo period he's

01:28:33.120 very airy i need to know his whole chart actually yeah and you're not very similar what's your wait

01:28:38.600 what is your rising sign then well i'm a i'm a virgo sun um are you cancer moon sagittarius

01:28:44.700 rising i'm sad rising also okay look at us and one of my best friends is a taurus yeah and i was

01:28:50.360 like i love tauruses you get along so well but i i felt the earthiness from you thank you that's

01:28:55.580 what i was guessing and you're a very calm demeanor also you're um so emotionally like

01:29:01.600 vast like you have the such emotional depth it's crazy that's so nice that's why you're such an

01:29:06.780 incredible artist by the way which i would love to talk more about your music before we finish

01:29:11.880 i've just been getting to know you i know that's why i was saying we got here and it was like

01:29:16.040 oh there's yeah there's camera like i kind of was like yeah we're gonna have a fun little hang it's

01:29:21.060 our first date that's why yeah yeah so we gotta get all the stuff out of the way we could have

01:29:24.560 just got dinner yeah but this is great like thank you everyone we can still get dinner

01:29:28.520 Is the opera still on the table?

01:29:29.540 Yes, yeah.

01:29:31.140 Okay, I do want to talk.

01:29:32.960 Do you have anything you would like to announce

01:29:35.060 outside of your single?

01:29:37.120 Well, the single will be out.

01:29:38.420 Yes, it'll be out.

01:29:39.180 That's that.

01:29:39.880 I'm playing the Hollywood Bowl.

01:29:42.500 Yes!

01:29:43.280 With an orchestra.

01:29:44.680 I know, and I'm going to throw up just thinking about it.

01:29:47.300 You should come throw up.

01:29:47.940 I would love to. 0.94

01:29:49.040 If you're inviting me, it's on camera.

01:29:51.300 Okay, she can't take it back.

01:29:52.880 Yeah, you're invited. 0.98

01:29:53.900 Yay!

01:29:54.300 I am so excited for that. 1.00

01:29:55.620 My sister's going to shit her pants. 1.00

01:29:56.460 My friend, yeah. 0.88

01:29:57.620 get on in yeah come on in days but um my friend and bandmate phoenix rizumanis uh greek beautiful

01:30:06.080 legend is uh doing all the arrangements and sent me a video because you can like do in the computer

01:30:12.020 and then like push play and the computer kind of plays it um and it's gonna be so cool like 0.64

01:30:17.880 she's got like a hundred dimensional brain she plays violin if any if you've ever seen 0.98

01:30:24.900 yeah love love love love love anyways it's gonna be really oh my god congratulations how fucking

01:30:30.700 awesome and then wait can i say who's opening jane i don't know if you're a fan of this person 0.52

01:30:35.780 but cat power is opening who is like someone i've been listening to for so long like it's almost

01:30:42.040 it's embarrassing this cat power sings sea of love yeah i love that song that's one of my favorite

01:30:47.720 songs yeah oh my god i just got chills again yeah i did too someone like basically someone was like

01:30:54.500 what about this and i was like is that allowed oh my god anyways orchestra yeah i'm gonna throw up

01:31:00.320 for real i know i'm so excited yeah oh my god congratulations how fucking cool thank you that

01:31:05.840 is so amazing so weird it is so it's crazy but well deserved thank you and you are incredible

01:31:11.220 and it's my dad's birthday and he'll be there virgo virgo when's your dad's birthday september

01:31:15.460 13th mine september 18th 18th that was the other day we were maybe gonna play oh my god sorry yeah

01:31:21.980 we're meant to be tell jaleen to move over throuple another september another september

01:31:27.640 birthday but libra oh okay my man's a libra too i love libras me too i actually realized like i

01:31:33.120 haven't met a libra i don't like that same honestly and i don't want anyone to prove me

01:31:36.540 wrong because i really like people i like liking people overall yeah my my man's born

01:31:42.320 october i love you say my man yeah my man it's so cool i love that you're getting married

01:31:48.900 i know soon i'll say my husband i've been saying my husband already i mean i say my man i say my

01:31:56.040 husband period my wife yeah why not i call him my wife too yeah i'm like it's funny because and i'll

01:32:02.740 i swear i'll wrap it up i have like a funny little joke about my my because my man is so like

01:32:09.340 manly looking like straight white guys like they really love him like super super but sometimes

01:32:16.980 when I go tour homes like because I just moved when I tour houses like for any reason I always

01:32:22.480 make sure he's there generally obviously because I want him to love the place but also because

01:32:25.880 every time a realtor sees him they'll give me the deal of a lifetime like they'll literally do

01:32:30.740 anything to get us to live there because they're so mesmerized by him wow and so I'm like yeah I

01:32:35.940 just prop up my my pretty little wife and you look at her yeah and I'm gonna wheel and deal

01:32:41.740 wheel and deal yes and it's the best so i get it that's awesome i get it and i love you and

01:32:47.220 you're amazing i have that in the opposite way sorry we have to wrap up no yeah no i just feel

01:32:51.120 like like people look at julian are like i have to take care of you like julian's just looking up

01:32:57.780 like even though like she's hard as fuck obviously covered in tattoos but i do feel that people 0.89

01:33:04.780 they are endeared to her yes like immediately they're just like you're like from bambi or 0.98

01:33:12.000 something anyways cutie patootie disease yeah in the brigade yep there you go okay so i do have

01:33:19.860 some fun facts we'll close out with them cool uh this one says you used to have a job editing

01:33:25.100 children's school photos for a camera company yeah editing like facetune that'd be funny not

01:33:30.720 facetune but um they were taken in front of green screens so then the parents get to pick what the

01:33:36.860 background is and then you have to make their hair not green so you're like color correcting

01:33:42.060 to whatever the background is that's cool and you prep it and then they send it to get

01:33:46.280 keychains and mugs did they did you like that job i actually did because like it was very repetitive

01:33:52.100 and i had a pad of paper and like all my early songs i wrote just like occupying my brain in one 0.55

01:33:58.760 way unlocked it in a different way you're crazy okay that's crazy that you were doing that you're

01:34:05.180 working and you're writing just unbelievable smash hits just like on a pad of paper all right good

01:34:10.560 now back to this children's photo i would do i i like fantasize about it i mean i got like nine

01:34:13.800 dollars an hour so that's not great better than 240 yeah yeah yeah you were up from the restaurant

01:34:18.880 275 275 sorry yeah okay this one says you were originally a film major in college before stopping

01:34:25.040 to pursue music which i think i knew about you yeah that's kind of true not not entirely i didn't

01:34:32.060 stop to do music i stopped because i didn't want to be in debt oh and i was like this is a racket

01:34:37.280 and then i did the the photo stuff and then through it being a love and hobby yeah music

01:34:43.440 started but i i want to just say that the college system is really expensive it is and it's not for

01:34:51.660 everyone it wasn't like oh music's going great i'm gonna quit it was like i am not gonna pay for

01:34:55.460 this so i'm done yeah goodbye bye i respect that about you this is one of the first times you played

01:35:02.920 music for anyone was in a high school when your history teacher told you to bring a guitar to

01:35:07.000 school and you jammed in a stairwell during lunch libby germer oh my gosh changing history teacher

01:35:12.280 yeah my friend's actually becoming a history teacher and i was like you are gonna change

01:35:17.080 so many kids lives just by being nice you know they're that's so beautiful yeah and teachers are 0.98

01:35:22.520 so important yeah i am giving it up to teachers especially now like holy fuck like yeah they need 0.91

01:35:29.120 to be making it's wild way way way more money braver than the troops most people are yeah 0.96

01:35:35.580 yep exactly okay and this is the last one it says does this baby photo of you

01:35:40.700 holding a tiny horn prove that you were also destined to be a musician

01:35:44.600 i actually looked at this yesterday

01:35:48.360 because i yeah i mean that's not how you you hold a horn by the way yeah by the way baby

01:35:58.360 you're holding the horn wrong it's backwards but um i don't i think that means i was destined to

01:36:04.440 um have a nice round face my whole life that's the only thing you are truly the cutest baby

01:36:12.080 this picture does look like it was taken during the great depression my dad you are a very cute

01:36:16.460 my dad like would set these things because he's he's a graphic designer oh love but like when

01:36:20.900 you'd have to buy fonts like in a box yeah have them sent to you and so he's very aesthetically

01:36:26.480 minded and he's he would like set up a scene like he's very careful and virgo virgo virgo down thank

01:36:33.060 you dad oh my god you're the cutest baby i've literally ever seen thank you you are destined

01:36:37.340 yeah i think to be lucy days to play the hollywood ball look at you she was the only one that could

01:36:41.540 do it yeah clearly this is the only girl yeah well thank you so much for coming on the show

01:36:47.460 yeah thanks for having me i fucking love you yeah likewise you're the best i'm so excited

01:36:51.220 you're getting married oh my gosh we will we'll have dinner well yes we have to for real dinner 0.94

01:36:56.340 yeah that'll be our second day okay cool and then you might get lucky

01:36:58.980 that's the arc everyone's waiting for oh my god if i did if i if i entered that arc with lucy 1.00

01:37:08.600 day kiss something terrible would happen the lesbians put a hit on me they would put a hit 1.00

01:37:12.580 out on me i thought you said the lesbians would hit on me no they would put a hit out that is 0.99

01:37:17.220 happening that if you aren't noticing you really are straight but you at least must notice that 0.60

01:37:24.200 no yeah yeah i'm saying they would put a hit out on me out of jealousy maybe it's okay it's all

01:37:30.080 right there's one person that would for sure yeah that's true there is one yeah yeah and i

01:37:35.160 five foot flat person and they have cutie patootie disease yeah so good luck against me oh they'll be

01:37:40.900 the cutest fight ever no no don't fight no fighting no fighting i love that i love you i

01:37:48.220 think you're amazing and i i truly want to tell you for real i think you are just an unbelievable

01:37:54.960 one of one artist like i really do think that and i think you are imperative to the scene and the

01:38:00.920 way that you move and the way that you your music is obviously beautiful and amazing and and poignant

01:38:06.600 but just the way that you exist as a musician and an artist in general is inspiring and i think it's

01:38:12.340 beautiful and i just need to give you your flowers for it because i think you're incredible you earned

01:38:16.680 that spot on lesbian mount rushmore thank you you earned it girl why why try to make me cry right at

01:38:21.940 the end here that's so crazy it's just important i always want to give i always want to give flowers

01:38:27.040 especially at the end because i i spend a lot of pee pee poo poo time talking sometimes but i do

01:38:31.920 want to be serious and tell you i think you are just unbelievable and so imperative and i and i'm

01:38:37.220 so honored to have you on the show thank you and i love you thanks for having me thank you for

01:38:41.900 coming you're wonderful thank you i appreciate that and thank you all for watching thank you

01:38:45.940 for tuning into the comment section don't forget new episodes drop every wednesday you can stream

01:38:50.120 the audio on all streaming platforms and the video as of right now is on spotify maybe it will be on

01:38:55.520 YouTube very soon also make sure y'all check out Lucy Degas for maybe the one straight person

01:39:01.380 that watches me and doesn't know who you are where can everybody find you oh just put my name

01:39:07.720 in a search bar there you go probably like right yeah I mean your handles am I meant to oh it's

01:39:13.780 if you would like L-U-C-Y-D-A-C-U-S like you just did that so pro and I'm like I'm true yeah it's

01:39:25.380 okay you have you have the musician brain i have the pee pee poo poo time brain so that's why i'm

01:39:29.760 able to do that you know what i mean you can play the hollywood bowl i can do this yeah so 0.99

01:39:33.400 different but you can come and throw up there you go i will come and throw up and i might poop my

01:39:37.180 pants cool and that's on and i'll ask julian for help after you'll be busy yeah so i'll ask julian

01:39:41.820 to help me but thank you all so much for tuning in don't forget to go check out everything lucy

01:39:46.100 you guys already know who the fuck she is she's so famous and important thank you all so much for

01:39:49.500 tuning in and I'll see you next week. Bye. 0.94

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - April 29, 2026

FELLAS, IS IT GAY TO LOVE？ Ft. Lucy Dacus ｜ Episode 219

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