The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - GUYS, IT’S MY MOM’S BIRTHDAY Ft. Sarah Doerner

00:00:00.000 when you tell the time like tell me what the time is don't be like oh a quarter past blah blah blah

00:00:03.700 all of these british people are like you fucking americans i'm like i just want to know if it's

00:00:09.540 702 or not hey shut up and tell me the real time yeah the moss grows on the north side of the tree

00:00:14.780 i'm like tell me the time yeah make me read a sundial why don't you

00:00:18.460 hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show

00:00:28.040 welcome your well first of all happy spooky season yay me not even me not even acknowledging

00:00:35.540 that my head is being shoved through a hole anyways i'm so excited to spend spooky season

00:00:39.780 with y'all and to welcome our very special guest please welcome the iconic the hilarious

00:00:43.960 the ridiculously talented sarah derner aka sriracha hi i'm so glad you're dressed up like me thanks

00:00:53.480 nobody ever wants to match my freak when they come on my home i don't know what the hell you're

00:00:59.080 talking about this episode is presented to you by ebay we all have that piece you know the one the

00:01:06.980 thing that's so you you've basically become known for it and if you don't have yours yet you'll find

00:01:12.300 it on ebay let me put you on team ebay is where you'll find those one-of-a-kind can't stop researching

00:01:18.740 stay up dreaming about pieces again and again i'm talking that muu muu off the runway red leather

00:01:24.980 bomber the custo barcelona top with the cowboy on it or that patagonia fleece in the 2017 colorway

00:01:32.080 all these finds are on ebay and they even offer millions of main character pieces backed by authenticity

00:01:38.240 guarantee ebay is the place for pre-loved and vintage fashion ebay things people love we both have

00:01:45.120 our heads shoved through a hole i know and we're both happy to be here this morning i was scrunch i

00:01:50.360 was like pulling it so my head could fit there being reborn i know and yours is so erect i wish

00:01:57.340 mine was i had to shove cardboard up there to make her stand up straight i'm so serious oh it's not just

00:02:02.140 on its own no it was real flaccid when i didn't have the cardboard in there i thought that was a

00:02:06.140 little off-putting to look at that's okay it's there's no shame in needing a little boost right

00:02:11.500 right we all need a little help it's okay i'm so excited to have you honored to have you how's life

00:02:16.820 been diva good yeah i just put on new nails this morning so we're feeling great i'm feeling fresh

00:02:22.620 feeling cute feeling good feeling excited that i'm still here after the rapture we survived it

00:02:28.000 we did in fact you and i oh my god what were your plans if we did get raptured oh if you had

00:02:33.320 if they took me up or if they kept me down both oh yeah um if they took me up they would send me

00:02:39.020 back down and if i stayed down um i saw a video of this lady who was like get down there you're

00:02:47.340 gonna be down there with your sins you're gonna all of these sinners i was like okay so all the fun

00:02:51.740 people are gonna be here right okay right okay so my people yeah all right my community oh my festies

00:02:57.640 are here i was like yeah i know damn well all my friends are sinners they were right we're all getting

00:03:02.920 left behind if they got taken up and i didn't i'd be offended you know what i mean would you leave

00:03:07.100 your clothes like the clothes i have on me like what i just get sucked up naked probably not yeah

00:03:13.660 i'd probably wear a big t-shirt god has to let you wear a big t-shirt big t-shirt no pants yeah they

00:03:18.520 don't let they don't let you wear them in love island but they should let you wear them in heaven

00:03:22.720 absolutely because that's a different kind of hell i think love island if i had to guess they always

00:03:28.320 do challenges where they're covered in goo and then they can't take a bath and they have a bath

00:03:32.380 they don't let them take a bath they have they have to literally wear a two-piece at all times

00:03:38.220 i know fully sometimes you need a big t that's my nightmare what if i want to swim in my swim shirt

00:03:42.760 then what absolutely i'm always in a tankini what if my shoulders are burned and i can't have them

00:03:47.480 exposed anymore then what absolutely well i'm i'm excited to have you here i know like everyone is

00:03:53.620 i don't think as familiar with your lore but i'd love to know how you came to be on tiktok in the

00:03:57.480 first place absolutely well so i graduated in 2020 which was awesome um and then perfect timing

00:04:04.460 perfect timing especially because i went to school for acting um and they were like well no one's ever

00:04:10.060 gonna act ever again i thought we were all gonna die like we're all gonna get raptured for real

00:04:13.580 that one did feel real in 2020 that one did feel real absolutely did feel like shit um and i was

00:04:19.840 like oh i'm so depressed oh i hate my life um and then i wasn't posting anything and then i just

00:04:25.780 like posted a couple videos for my friends which was like basically what i'm doing now honestly i'm

00:04:30.740 truly just posting for friends yeah but um yeah and then i got another job at a coffee shop and i was

00:04:37.180 like i have always had shit uh experiences with customers so i'm gonna talk about it all the time

00:04:43.520 yeah i have to how else do you survive it and i did and i i think i've said before on the show many

00:04:48.220 times i think the service industry is one of the hardest to work in literally ever absolutely it is

00:04:54.460 people like being intentionally incompetent or rude is insane people just love they have no

00:05:00.340 control in their own lives so they're like i know that you make below minimum wage so i should come

00:05:04.920 in here and be mean to you and you are every day i literally said that as that was so shocking to me

00:05:10.600 when i was a server for half a second because i couldn't believe it felt like they were intentionally

00:05:15.940 leaving the house to go harass someone and where can i legally do it a restaurant absolutely

00:05:20.560 and then i won't tip they never do and then i'm gonna find a reason that's valid to only me and my

00:05:27.360 family yeah about why i didn't tip yeah i remember i got a i got a review i've never gotten a bad review

00:05:33.740 this is the one time i've gotten a bad review on yelp it was paragraphs long of this ancient man who was

00:05:38.900 like this he called me a little girl he said i was the manager of a coffee shop he's like this tiny

00:05:44.420 little baby girl this child this fetus was raising her voice to me fully i was like hey it was just

00:05:50.740 after covid restriction had been lifted and i was like hey i'm so sorry you can't move the chairs like

00:05:56.100 there's a certain number of chairs we have to have a table he's like what are you talking about he's

00:06:00.300 like i know it's a stupid rule but like you have to and then he kept moving them and i go sir i really

00:06:04.720 don't need the attitude i just need you to keep the chair where it is and he was like flipped his lid he

00:06:10.840 left comes back the next day talks to my co-worker he goes are you the manager to him and he was like

00:06:15.560 yeah couldn't even fathom that i would be the manager right literally of course not and he goes

00:06:20.020 you need to apologize to me oh no i don't i don't know what that means it's funny because no i don't

00:06:27.460 because you're not the boss of me so sorry but it's literally how i handle most hate like that i'm

00:06:32.500 like i actually don't have to do that because you're not the boss of me i can actually do whatever i

00:06:35.720 want oh you're my mom yeah actually no because i'm 30 so no um i just have my 30th birthday i am not

00:06:44.120 a baby yeah no no so you had to you had to confront that guy he wrote a bad review about you his

00:06:51.200 paragraphs yeah damn i was like okay and what harping about the chairs yeah what do you mean

00:06:57.240 he was like i was waiting for a date no you weren't well that's the first lie you've told me since

00:07:02.420 you've been in here and that's kind of fucked up yeah and then he goes do you want to apologize

00:07:07.060 to me i go do you want to apologize to me what are we talking about first i'll show you mine if

00:07:13.200 you show me yours rock paper scissors just go first that's full straws that's so funny dude i can't even

00:07:20.000 imagine especially with men too like the way that they do talk to women in the service industry is

00:07:25.980 like actually insane it's actually it is i mean i will have the craziest one you've ever had

00:07:31.540 i'm sure there's a few oh my god well this one was actually the most insane my first job i worked

00:07:37.100 in albertson's at a grocery store okay i started young i started young when they hated me i they

00:07:42.520 made me the sample girl because i did theater in high school and they were like well you do theater

00:07:47.080 so you must love to talk to people that's actually the complete fucking opposite who said that

00:07:52.560 i like to entertain people absolutely different yeah so they put me as a sample girl and i don't

00:08:00.000 know what holiday it was maybe it was like a football thing but i was doing tortilla chips

00:08:05.600 guacamole and salsa okay and just doing samples yeah and i had a little tiny trash can out front

00:08:10.660 of the little stand and this woman comes up guacamole salsa she goes what's the difference between these

00:08:17.660 two i was like okay well one is green then one is red start with color texture where would you like

00:08:26.720 what can you see how many fingers and she was like oh uh yeah what's the difference between these two

00:08:35.460 i was like well this one is guacamole and avocado and this one is salsa she goes okay takes the chip

00:08:40.360 scoops into the guacamole takes a bite she goes hmm i make better so so we agree that you knew

00:08:49.120 what that was she goes wrong that's trash that's what that is she said disgusting and then she takes

00:08:56.840 her little cup like the chips came in like a little cup yeah throws the the cup in the trash can kicks

00:09:01.960 the trash can over whether it was intentional or not i don't know looks at me and goes someone kicked

00:09:06.960 over your trash can what the hell that's crazy i have a gun it's crazy because i don't like this

00:09:14.780 job that much i'm 14 i'm also a child so there's that too i'm wearing a lime green polo i'm like are

00:09:23.760 you bullying i've said before like some of the jobs i've had where i was interacting with like people

00:09:31.660 like customers constituents whatever uh the way yeah the way i say that is because that's the job i

00:09:37.820 had right after college where i worked with my mom i worked for for my mom but i've said before many

00:09:43.180 times i know she's new she hasn't heard it i have to tell the audience uh basically i just did like

00:09:49.500 i'd pass out bad news about construction like that was like kind of like the short long and short of

00:09:53.340 it okay i like we did pr for major freeway projects things like that so like you know people

00:09:58.380 you know what people love to hear about traffic and commute and like when i would walk around and

00:10:03.500 do that we would do these things called neighborhood meetings which are like one thing you need to know

00:10:07.660 about an old person they love a neighborhood meeting if there's a place they can get free

00:10:11.660 coffee donuts and bitch they are going to be there 7 a.m on the dot on the dot they're going to be

00:10:17.660 waiting outside that elementary school auditorium for me to open the door like they are waiting to get

00:10:21.900 in there and so like anytime we went to that they would ask me the most insane questions to where

00:10:28.860 i'm like well clearly i make the decisions because i'm wearing a too small polo and i'm talking to you

00:10:34.460 at 7 a.m on a saturday absolutely mind you it's a saturday and i'm 21 and i'm talking to you because

00:10:39.580 that's what i would love to do like one time this old man was yelling because i worked with my sister

00:10:44.700 which is a bad idea regardless but she she and i were like just hitting the streets for those flyers

00:10:51.740 and all those projects one time we did this neighborhood meeting just i think it was the

00:10:55.100 two of us and like one of our other co-workers this old man starts harassing my sister like

00:10:59.420 starts asking her questions but then it just turns into like i just want to talk at you i want to yell

00:11:02.940 at you right because i'm a hundred and i don't know what's going on anymore they love they love to do

00:11:07.820 that especially to young women they love to do that to women and so he starts like

00:11:11.180 talking like asking questions faster than she can answer them like she's answering the question

00:11:15.420 he's like well what about this well what about this and then as she's in the middle of answering

00:11:19.660 another question he goes where are you from what country did you come from mind you my sister's been

00:11:27.100 talking so you can hear her like she doesn't have an accent like she's been talking and at that point

00:11:32.460 i walked over i said what does that matter fully do you have a question about the freeway or no

00:11:37.020 and then he was like i just want to know who they're employing i just turned my back i was like

00:11:41.340 see that's the thing is i need this job so i can't say all the things i want to say to you

00:11:46.300 where are you from what's the traffic like wait and then they're like you're gonna do this to my commute

00:11:52.940 i i'm doing it i'm like diva i hate the freeway too hello here's the line to complain yeah i'm like

00:11:59.180 giving them the lines i'm like you complain i hate them i hate them too girl well i heard what you said

00:12:04.620 so now i'm out here and i'm ruining your commute yeah it was one of those like jobs where it's just like no

00:12:09.980 matter what you say or do like they're gonna find something they don't care it's just they're

00:12:13.580 they're so eager to yell at you well even if i mean even in like coffee things could be

00:12:17.900 absolutely perfect you do it exactly how they want they're like no no i completed the task and they're

00:12:24.300 pissed they're like what did you change nothing nothing absolutely i turned my back and i went

00:12:31.500 and i handed it and they're like it's divine thank you so much thank you for fixing that i appreciate it

00:12:36.300 have you only worked in service have you worked in like retail or anything like i've never done

00:12:39.500 retail i know that's a different type of hellscape same which is me too but only food but people are

00:12:45.180 insane with food obviously i get it it's like i only worked in that one restaurant i even told

00:12:50.300 that story recently to my friend eric about a guy i caught a guy um a guy i trained i didn't know i was

00:12:56.060 training my replacement at the time but then he like went in the bathroom and smoked meth and i was

00:12:59.980 like telling my manager i was about to tell my manager like he smokes meth like i don't know about

00:13:04.540 that bad news meth and uh i remember when i said i when i was about to say it he was like i'm gonna

00:13:10.940 let it i'm letting you go and i said oh why is that he said where are you from and you're like

00:13:19.260 how are you finding me at all my jobs but even when i when i had told that story uh on eric's show like

00:13:26.540 i saw the clip recently and like in the comments people were like i don't know if that's meth like

00:13:33.500 he was probably smoking weed what do you care first of all listen i smoke meth i know what that i would

00:13:40.700 know i would know but i was like i was talking about it with my fiancee because i was like what do

00:13:46.060 you care about correcting the first of all it wasn't weed i know what that smells like yeah and

00:13:50.700 meth has a very different smell so i know what that smells like too but it has such a such a

00:13:55.900 distinct smell it's like almost like oil burning i don't i don't really know it smells like incense

00:14:02.060 if i had to guess the smell of meth it would be that like if i just like if i was like okay that

00:14:06.780 smells sinister and evil yeah they give you four cents to choose from you're like that one's definitely

00:14:11.820 that trust me this one's meth

00:14:16.700 but you mostly worked in food service mostly food the reason i went is because i remember a woman um

00:14:21.740 at my first coffee shop job no at my second coffee shop job i worked at three um the one where i got

00:14:28.220 the bad review yeah uh it was towards the end of the day a woman like an older woman and her friend

00:14:32.540 come in her friend is so nice she's like can i get a hot chocolate i was like absolutely that's so

00:14:36.460 adorable and then the woman's like can i get a hot coffee absolutely i had just brewed a fresh pot i had

00:14:41.900 just brewed a fresh pot that's important i pour it for her go and give it to the table she comes up and

00:14:48.540 she goes this coffee is freezing it's like hmm well it's not yeah but okay i go oh i'm like so sorry

00:14:59.900 like i just brewed a fresh pot she goes no it's ice cold takes her entire fist and shoves it into the cup

00:15:06.700 of coffee she pulls it out three third degree burns see she goes so you want to tell me what

00:15:13.500 the that is i go i don't know what to do i kind of just went oh you're kind of like you didn't have

00:15:22.140 to do all that i i was going to change it regardless also because i know it's fresh coffee so you're

00:15:27.740 insane she has like a tear running down her face because she's like it's so hot yeah she's like see

00:15:34.140 freezing see that oh freezer burn yeah see that's freezer burn yeah and i go uh uh okay i'll make

00:15:40.460 you another one i bring it to the table she's like oh my god thank you so much like she didn't just

00:15:44.060 shove her hands in the fucking bottle like she's like you're the sweetest by the way she goes i love

00:15:50.300 this place but her hands still third degree burns looks like harvey dents like love that one i would

00:15:58.060 say is the craziest one because i would never i'm the type of person that's like oh my order's wrong

00:16:02.460 i'll just eat it me too i'll just take it yeah me too if unless it's someone else's and they're like

00:16:07.980 i really can't eat that then i'll say something but i'm very nice about it i'm like hey i'm sorry

00:16:12.780 can you please yeah that reminds me i went to the i flew to new york recently and um we were at i think

00:16:19.020 we flew jet blue so we were like standing at the desk and she's like okay put the it's like me my fiance

00:16:25.020 um carrie and my sister and so like we're all standing there and we're like okay like talk kind of

00:16:30.780 chatting and she goes okay put the first bag up and so it was mine right because i was first

00:16:35.180 so she puts it up she goes three pounds over you might have to change it and i go and then i was

00:16:42.540 thinking in my head i'm like well if you're flying business you have more pounds right yeah and it

00:16:47.340 was like barely over 50 it was like 51 52 something like that and so she was going yeah otherwise i got

00:16:52.860 to charge you 200 and then i was like it's fine because at that point i was like we're running behind

00:16:57.500 i'm not going to sit here and rearrange it like it's fine yeah and then carrie was like well no

00:17:01.980 because we're um i don't think it should be up to 75 pounds right and she goes that's business

00:17:08.060 and then i go i i am business like i'm flying we're all flying business and then she goes nope

00:17:13.900 just to my face like i was like and i'll be real like she cucked me a little because i was like

00:17:19.660 like i was just gonna pay the 200 yeah i was like flying business yeah and then i start feeling

00:17:23.980 gas lit like i'm like wait maybe i'm not and then carrie carrie was literally it's funny because

00:17:28.300 carrie is so sweet and kind unlike me and she uh was like no no like that's not true like she was

00:17:34.060 like looking up on the website and she's like that's not true uh we're all business she's like

00:17:38.860 showing it to her and then the lady goes okay so business 10 seconds has passed since she asked me

00:17:47.260 right and then carrie goes yeah she goes all right tags the bag takes it off and then i go yeah that's

00:17:52.140 what i just said i said i was business and then she looks at me and she goes

00:17:58.460 and i for real thought like girl do i know you or something like i was like i'm like are you mad

00:18:03.580 at me and i really like she got my ass because i i for real was like saying i just nope it's crazy

00:18:10.540 to my face nope yeah nope i actually burned the plane you won't be flying that's why she kind of got

00:18:18.140 my ass she said that i said oh all right oh no my bad my bad i love that so business

00:18:26.380 where have you been she's like oh all right tags it and that's why when i said no that's what i just

00:18:31.820 said she was like she's like no you didn't almost like she was like you always do this

00:18:36.780 the last time you were here you try to pull some every time you come in here you try to pull some

00:18:43.180 shit on me i never fly jet i'm flying business oh are you yeah that's why she's like are you no

00:18:51.420 you're not you're flying first class on a private plane i know i won the grand prize yeah she's a big

00:18:59.340 check so you said you majored in theater yeah what what was your specialty did you have like a

00:19:05.580 fave did you like comedy drama oh i loved doing um honestly drama is my favorite to do oh i love that

00:19:12.860 yeah yeah but like i i mean i am a dramatic person i'm not a very like yeah i don't know i guess yeah

00:19:19.980 drama was my favorite to do comedy was my favorite to write though oh yeah okay i like doing my own

00:19:25.180 comedy but i like reading other people do you do any stand-up or anything i have a ton tea a ton is

00:19:30.700 crazy i've done it maybe five times yeah more than me but you should you should i've done i've done it

00:19:36.460 a couple times i've been like but i do like it i enjoy it and i think it's really fun it's hard yeah

00:19:42.780 it's fucking so hard it's insane i did like a class because i was like i can't just get up there

00:19:47.740 and do it so i took a stand-up class um and how was that it was well

00:19:55.180 i think it was five people i was the youngest person there oh nice um my favorite person was

00:20:00.780 like a 65 year old woman who was like a professor she's like i'm just doing this so i can talk in my

00:20:06.220 lectures oh that's sweet loved her yeah um and then one guy was named dave that's all i remember about

00:20:15.740 yeah not very memorable clearly very um but yeah we did our little showcase which was cute and then i

00:20:22.460 did an open mic after that and i was like maybe i should never do this again really because everyone

00:20:28.140 there was 35 to 45 year old men and i was like you hate what i'm saying i lost the room already they

00:20:38.780 i got up there and they were like boo yeah they said nope when you go up there right as you're

00:20:44.860 approaching the stage and they said no nah but i've done it a few times and it is really fun but

00:20:50.380 it is a ton of fucking work yeah it's hard i've i've only i've only like like actually done it for

00:20:56.140 real twice so like how long were you up there for i did five a five and then a 20 20 yeah so i went

00:21:04.540 from five to 20 no practice in between i was like shit um good thing i could just talk up there but

00:21:09.900 there was like another uh i think when i did i was like i had the opportunity to do more but i i

00:21:15.660 was just kind of like i need to do this it's one of those things where maybe this is me being a virgo

00:21:20.060 but i was like i need to practice a ton and i don't have time to practice a ton and like i am not

00:21:25.100 the type of bitch that's like yeah fuck it i need to be prepared before i go up there like

00:21:29.900 to some degree i need to be prepared fully before the showcase people were like trying to like

00:21:34.220 joke and laugh i'm like i need space shut up so fucking zip it i have to lock in right now even

00:21:42.780 with like when i did theater and stuff i app before a show or i'd be like no one talked to me i would

00:21:48.220 just sit in a corner and like run my lines like a crazy person like shaking i felt like that too

00:21:53.180 can't i know and i i find it like such a in inhumane skill to memorize an entire hour it was like the

00:22:00.140 memorizing part was the hardest part for me because once you get up there i feel like i

00:22:04.060 start thinking about a lot of other things and i even said when i did my next one uh i think it went

00:22:10.380 better and flowed better because i wasn't so beholden to memorizing every single line fully it

00:22:15.900 was just like memorizing general theme and then going from there because i need more space to run i

00:22:20.380 feel like no i'm the same i feel like when i'm i like i can't have coffee or anything i have to just be

00:22:25.580 like i'm almost like half asleep and get up there i'm like i'm so beyond relaxed that like i don't

00:22:30.620 have time that's to or the space to think yeah that i could fuck up for real and i will yeah like

00:22:36.780 i just did a like a character showcase at ucb oh my gosh how fun it was so fun i was really

00:22:42.140 fucking nervous for that one because i don't do like characters yeah but it was a good ass time and

00:22:46.860 i was like i'm just who gives a shit yeah like my friends are there my boyfriend's there like who

00:22:52.780 cares yeah i gotta have fun i think that's like that was probably the thing that took the most

00:22:56.860 pressure off me the second time i did it too i was like i just gotta have a good time yeah and

00:23:01.180 also like i know i'm good at like crowd work i know i can i can nail crowd work pretty easy

00:23:06.620 but i don't want to be one of the like i didn't want to be a stand-up that only does crowd work

00:23:10.940 because then it's like you're not a stand-up like at that point i'm just roasting people from the

00:23:14.460 stage you're just gabbing yeah i'm just i'm just catching up over like brunch with the girls

00:23:18.780 like at that point that's what i'm doing um but i didn't want to be that guy so i was like

00:23:24.140 yeah i've seen i've seen that yeah we all know we know who we're talking about yeah

00:23:29.180 and they have bad veneers and it's okay that's yeah and a big fake old jaw love that i need one

00:23:36.060 of those honestly how's your new job a new job how's your uh journey on tiktok been really good

00:23:44.060 really crazy um i yeah it was posting kind of just for friends and then i started doing lives

00:23:50.380 not real lives yeah i would go to olive garden i would pick up dinner and eat it in my car and then

00:23:57.500 i would go live for four people right and they're the best i have a little group chat with them

00:24:03.740 right now too they're like we're so happy for you oh like they're the sweetest people in the world but

00:24:08.700 yeah my little internet friends but then it just like started happening more and

00:24:12.460 more and like more people were seeing it and i anytime i will see a video of mine from like

00:24:17.900 two weeks ago i'm like i this is awful i feel that you can't watch them yeah i hate my older older ones

00:24:23.900 too like yeah at least it at least your your catalog i think your catalog is fantastic thank you so mine

00:24:29.740 goes back so far that like i feel like some of those early ones if i could scroll that far back i

00:24:35.420 would delete them all i just can't absolutely and i posted every day for three years straight so like

00:24:40.380 good luck catching it at that point i i'll never catch up at that point remember when you said i

00:24:44.940 don't yeah i really don't and don't remind me i don't want to know that i'm not that

00:24:48.380 anymore whoever she was but even at that point too i i've said like my voice sounds very different in

00:24:53.340 those and it's because i went to school for journalism so like broadcast right so they make

00:24:58.460 they made me well made me they told me i needed to raise the tenor of my voice like sure speak in a

00:25:04.380 higher tone because my voice is an octave i guess too manly for god forbid for broadcast television

00:25:11.020 so she told me you should try speaking higher because it's more appealing you have to talk in

00:25:14.460 a transatlantic accent and like judy garland no fucking for real and i think that's why my early

00:25:20.380 ones i hate watching them because i'm my voice sounds like mickey mouse compared to how it sounds now

00:25:25.820 and like honestly i'm i when some people go back and look at them they're like oh my god i can't believe how

00:25:31.740 young you look here when i click on it if i hate it i delete it or i hide it absolutely like if i'm

00:25:37.740 like sometimes i'm like yeah go back and like them so i can find them absolutely oh my god you look so

00:25:42.380 young here i'm gonna delete that and i'm gonna block you actually yeah no yeah there's no way you're not

00:25:47.020 catching me no way do you have any like dreams or aspirations with tick tock ooh i don't or even

00:25:53.660 acting i really don't know i mean acting for sure i because i have been acting since like eighth grade

00:25:59.420 something stupid like really really young um yeah what's like a dream role for you oh let's do tv

00:26:06.060 and movie ooh ooh tv hmm i want to host love is blind no i'm kidding um for tv i want to we should

00:26:15.980 host it together in these costumes unexplained sight unseen

00:26:21.500 don't judge but she can't see that's me this is called love is blind is it not wait but you said

00:26:28.460 you like me

00:26:29.100 for for tv i don't know okay this is awful i don't watch i don't watch stuff me either i don't i mean

00:26:39.500 i just watched a series with my boyfriend there's six episodes called the girlfriend okay it's really

00:26:44.780 good it's about british people and a couple of americans okay um and there's like uh a girlfriend

00:26:50.620 and a son and a mom and the mom kind of loves the son in like a weird way and he's the girlfriend

00:26:55.740 and it's a big like who done it oh wait i saw that i saw the trailer for that on tick tock it's crazy

00:27:00.700 okay we just finished it it was so good okay but that's like the only tv show i've watched in

00:27:06.060 a thousand centuries you're so like me i don't watch anything new no ever it's like when people are

00:27:11.580 like have you watched this i'm like nah but i'll watch it like three years later i'm the same

00:27:16.220 fucking way i literally i've never seen what the hell is it called the most famous television show

00:27:21.980 game of thrones i've never oh you've never seen game of thrones i have watched that but i watched

00:27:25.980 it back in the day and we used to watch pirated versions because i couldn't afford hbo at the

00:27:29.660 time real but one of my but i was way behind like everybody else like one of my girlfriends

00:27:33.820 from college was like you have to watch it dude it's so good and i was like really and then

00:27:37.900 i eventually i did yeah but i'm a big repeat watcher like i watch the same stuff i'm the same

00:27:42.460 but mine is okay this is insane i there is one twitch streamer i watch okay i don't watch him live

00:27:50.460 i watch the videos he uploads afterwards there are four hours and i will watch them over and over again

00:27:59.500 which streamer is it his name is half moon joe okay i've been watching him since i was in like

00:28:04.620 probably eighth grade really what does he do he used to make youtube videos he's like

00:28:11.020 this gay man who lives in dc with his husband and their little dog piggy i know everything about him

00:28:15.500 hey um he used to make youtube videos about all kinds of stuff and now he just streams like old

00:28:21.660 nancy drew pc games like all and he's terrible at them but that's why it's so funny also he's from

00:28:28.140 arkansas so he has like a thick southern accent oh it's just that's so funny so randomly specific

00:28:34.620 fully anytime i'm having a bad day i watch he has um oh not wizards of waverly plays who knows what

00:28:41.020 the hell it's called he watches wizards of waverly plays right right right and he'll play like the

00:28:46.140 brats games like all the old barbie games i just and i watch that over and over again that's just what

00:28:51.340 you've been watching i've never seen game of thrones but let me tell you about half moon joe but i

00:28:57.340 i could yeah i could quote a four-hour video to you there's there's this lady i've been watching

00:29:02.700 do you have like niche people like that on tiktok yeah me too there's this lady i've been watching

00:29:06.540 recently i don't even remember her name but it's this white girl and she's like a teacher but that's

00:29:11.900 not her content her content is like she eats this thing called a plowman's lunch does it sound british

00:29:19.420 it is and she it when i tell you it's the most off-putting charcuterie i've ever seen in my life

00:29:25.740 and this bitch eats it in a classroom and i'll tell you what i'm locked in two and a half minutes i'm

00:29:30.140 watching her eat that whole fucking thing and it's like it's like bread two different kinds of

00:29:34.940 cheeses like just the stinkiest food alive really but like she'll have pickled onions pickled beets

00:29:42.300 these things called branny p fuck if i know what that is it's like when she was describing it she's

00:29:46.860 like vinegar molasses almost and then there's like another thing called pickle lily fuck what the

00:29:53.100 fuck are they doing over there when i talk shit on british food dude the cut down like laura my my friend

00:29:58.860 laura laura she's the best she does socials for the show she posted one about me and robbie

00:30:03.340 hoffman talking shit on british food you should have seen those comments girl oh my god they want

00:30:08.540 me dead they want to put me in a guillotine that's france who gives a fuck they every time i say your

00:30:13.020 food sucks they're like yeah well kids die in schools where you're at absolutely they're like

00:30:17.500 sorry we'll put beans on toast and tree sap and i eat i watch what they eat and i'm like

00:30:22.700 i made a video a thousand years ago not about food but being like when you tell the time like

00:30:29.660 tell me what the time is don't be like oh a quarter past blah blah blah yeah all of these british people

00:30:33.260 are like you fucking americans i'm like i just want to know if it's 702 or not yeah they're like

00:30:39.660 a quarter pal a quarter till this yeah hey shut up and tell me the real time yeah the moss grows on

00:30:44.860 the north side of the tree i'm like tell me the time yeah make make me read a sundial why don't you

00:30:49.820 please so i watch this plowman's lunch lady she eats that she eats crazy british food like she's

00:30:56.300 never been to the uk she doesn't know any british people really she just like is obsessed with their

00:31:01.020 food so she eats this plowman's lunch when i tell you every fucking day and every video i'm like here

00:31:07.420 she goes again and i watch the whole thing and also something that's fascinating to me about her

00:31:11.980 because she'll just combine all of it she'll put like that vinegar molasses shit on it she'll put

00:31:15.980 cheese on there and a pickled onion and then she'll eat it and i'm like what's crazy about

00:31:21.100 her is like she'll take the biggest bites i've ever seen in my life like when i tell you unhinge her

00:31:26.140 draw like she literally goes fits the whole fucking thing in there and she's like oh delicious delicious

00:31:32.700 and it looks like the most disgusting food in the world and i just can't stop watching her i

00:31:36.380 every time i see her i'm like oh my god my show's on time for my cardboard and goo

00:31:40.220 i know like my vinegar cardboard i'm so excited yeah do you have any niche people on there that

00:31:46.780 you're watching oh my god yeah don't know his name don't know what he stands for but he

00:31:53.900 he oh my god i'm gonna try to imitate his voice i've never done this oh my god

00:31:58.300 first for all of us you gotta talk like this and everything so that's his voice okay and he has

00:32:04.940 created um a map for a world that he has called 3 000 queen mary ocean city right okay who knows what

00:32:15.740 that means but he's made a map and he was like oh we're gonna open like an m&m store in 3 000 ocean

00:32:23.420 mary city this place doesn't exist he's he makes a thousand videos making business plans a day he shows

00:32:30.140 the blueprints it looks like nothing he's just showing you brick and mortar like brick and mortar

00:32:35.180 businesses in his fake city absolutely and i eat it up every time i hear i'll like just be scrolling

00:32:41.500 not even looking i hear i'm like i'm in you're pavlob what's the newest addition to the city who is

00:32:48.140 coming to the city next i love it he's like yeah we're opening up a reese's pieces world

00:32:53.500 little notes they're all candy stores that's like a little kid if they made a city yes fully he's

00:33:00.940 like has to be like 37 years old i eat it up every time like my my fiancee loved like the costco

00:33:08.780 guys right like he loved them before they got big like way before he would be like have you seen

00:33:15.020 these guys and i'm like i think you know i haven't like just generally i'm sure you can assume

00:33:19.100 and for i think it was valentine's day this year he like just talks about them because he thinks

00:33:24.860 they're the funniest people alive and like the rizzler right with the costco guys and all that

00:33:29.420 like it's funny because those two kids act like how i think any child would act if they got a lot

00:33:34.460 of money and access at 11 absolutely they're not doing anything remotely serious like they're going

00:33:40.140 to all their favorite things like amusement parks wwe wrestling like that's all they're really about

00:33:45.180 which i respect and i remember when for valentine's day i got him a cameo from the costco guys right

00:33:53.420 because they do cameos and so i bought one and i literally said like can you wish um them a happy

00:34:00.300 like wish my fiancee happy valentine's day uh and also give him five big booms right because like

00:34:06.780 there's a meme of him when he's like sorry your brother died here's five big booms boom right that's

00:34:13.020 his favorite like video ever that's amazing and so i was like can you also give him five big booms

00:34:17.900 and so then i didn't get the cameo till like a week after valentine's day they like forgot about

00:34:22.860 me and i was like damn that sucks no good thing i had other gifts otherwise what would i have done i

00:34:28.540 was holding out right and then they did eventually send it to me and they were like so sorry we're late

00:34:34.540 we just want to wish you a happy valentine's day drew loves you so much they really improved a ton in it

00:34:40.540 but they said he loves you like a brother like he loves you so much you guys he loves like literally

00:34:46.380 misgendering me constantly throughout it which i did not put my pronouns so that is on me

00:34:50.620 uh but i just thought it was funny because i was like well at least we know they're they don't care

00:34:53.820 about gay couples because they were being very okay very emphatic throughout the entire thing i love

00:34:57.980 that and then they didn't give five big booms they only gave one big boom so wow okay so if you

00:35:03.100 fucked up in multiple right so if you're gonna buy a cameo from the costco guys keep that in mind right

00:35:07.740 that's just what i would say you're gonna get it a week late they're gonna misgender you

00:35:12.700 they will misgender you in your cameo absolutely but they said love is love yeah yeah they played

00:35:18.620 played that macklemore song for me in the background that would have been so great but anywho yeah i

00:35:23.900 think like for niche people on tiktok another one i've talked about dr parkinstein are you familiar

00:35:29.100 with him i didn't realize i could go in through this way and fix my hair this is major you're unlocking

00:35:34.300 something sorry hold on you're i got something going on your arms been out the whole time and

00:35:38.780 you're like there's a hole right here sorry what did you say i said are you familiar with dr parkinstein

00:35:46.700 on tiktok no love him he's also someone who is obsessed with like the early 1900s so everything

00:35:53.580 he wears drives how he cooks his food his entire apartment looks like it's in the 1920s and i and i

00:36:00.300 remember someone in the comments was like how old is like too recent for you and he said anything

00:36:04.220 after 1936 absolutely i said he's so real so i watch him he'll do four minute videos of him doing um

00:36:11.340 what is that dance it's like when they're swinging their legs like crazy the charleston yeah he'll just

00:36:15.500 he'll be like this is me doing the charleston and then he'll put on on his record player and he's

00:36:19.740 dressed like from the 1920s and then he's just doing that and all you hear is him breathing and kicking

00:36:24.700 for four minutes and guess who watches all four minutes me i'm watching i'm giving it a like

00:36:31.100 i'm reposting it you know what i mean the world needs to see that guy i love him swinging his leg

00:36:35.900 yeah he's just swinging his and he's good at it i mean i'd like to assume i don't know many people

00:36:39.180 who do the charleston i mean i'm my my my opinion probably means nothing but i think he's great

00:36:45.660 you're like this is so good you really killed the charleston today he's like this is my worst one

00:36:48.940 yet you don't know anything you literally don't know anything you're not even from the 1920s

00:36:55.260 and he also randomly makes videos where he is building like a generator of some kind from scratch

00:37:01.740 right and he and he has video proof of him coming up with the idea of tesla before elon musk bought it

00:37:07.740 and i was like this guy's on to something i'm gonna follow him into war honestly at this point like

00:37:14.140 he knows something the rest of us don't and i'm staying close by the fire you know what i mean the

00:37:18.220 uniform you're in a flapper dress i know if that's what it takes that's what it takes i'm

00:37:23.100 sorry but i watch him cook things on his old timey stove and i watch him ride his old timey

00:37:28.300 bike like the one with the huge front wheel and the little back wheel that is my fucking dream

00:37:33.980 i'm gonna show you him after we get off he's fantastic i'm sorry i'm late he's like i'm gonna

00:37:39.020 show you guys how i ride my penny bike and then he sets up his thing and then he's like it's a

00:37:43.260 little hard to get on and he he has no cuts no edits and then he also has like end cards on his

00:37:48.620 videos where it's a picture of him in black and white so it looks like it was taken in 1900 and

00:37:53.100 it says finn at the top like he died yeah at the end of every single tech talk he puts that in there

00:37:58.380 i love that guy i have no i need to know who this is i follow them all it's funny i have so many people

00:38:03.100 like that and i follow them and they don't follow me and they don't give a fuck about me but i follow

00:38:07.500 them and i'm like they have no idea how big of a fan i am they have no idea you guys have no clue well

00:38:11.420 they're like we don't like your content they're like not really my kind of thing not my thing but

00:38:16.780 thank you yeah but i appreciate you i do have some fun facts about you though facts yes from some fun

00:38:23.180 facts if you if you like to get into them i'd love to know okay this first one says you were a theater

00:38:28.460 major in college and you starred as juliette in a punk rock version of romeo and juliette and you

00:38:33.100 were a semi-finalist in the national shakespeare competition absolutely i was what if i kill myself

00:38:38.220 right now okay team is shakespeare yeah what'd you do for your uh competition um so

00:38:45.900 yeah i guess it was a national competition and we had to do a monologue and a sonnet and i did

00:38:51.980 a juliette monologue and a sonnet about dying and i were they both from romeo and juliette no just the

00:38:59.900 monologue was okay um and yeah you had to like memorize them and then do it at your school if you

00:39:07.020 won the one at your school you do it at state level if you do it at state level you go you go

00:39:10.620 to national and you were a semi-finalist and i was a semi-finalist yeah didn't make it all the

00:39:15.820 way though but you still made it further than a lot of other people so true also shakespeare's

00:39:20.140 hard as it is i i love romeo and juliette yeah i which is like probably the cheesiest thing about

00:39:26.300 me but i love romeo and juliette no but you love it for real i do not like the leonardo

00:39:30.540 dicaprio version or whatever the fuck was it leonardo dicaprio yeah okay i couldn't remember

00:39:34.220 yeah yeah me forgetting who the hell was that my favorite my favorite shakespeare uh play was

00:39:42.220 the one about cyrano oh cyrano is it just called cyrano cyrano yeah i couldn't remember the name

00:39:47.340 i don't know all of them that's one of my that's one of my favorite ones that's the one where he's

00:39:50.300 like really ugly and he writes the things for his buddy yeah who sings to her and he's like stands

00:39:54.140 in the bushes oh love that one that's a great one happened to me you should go to shakespearean

00:39:58.780 theater in london i want to so bad when i yeah that's tea i wanted to really really bad i think

00:40:04.700 that's so when i was in new york though and i was doing the competition all of us were like okay like

00:40:09.340 what monologue are you doing what's on it blah blah blah this guy was like oh what monologue are

00:40:12.540 you doing it's like i'm doing a juliette monologue he goes kind of basic for the competition right

00:40:18.940 right so he's trying to he's trying to get in your head yeah before the competition what is this

00:40:24.700 he's trying to psych you out it's like ice princess absolutely you know when she comes in she's like

00:40:29.500 nice skates yeah the goth girls that was a goth girl doing it to you yeah yeah see he bullied me i

00:40:36.540 was like okay and what yeah i maybe if you did it it would be basic well maybe you did it you would

00:40:43.340 suck yeah we're usmi finalists exactly we'll see at the end of this yeah absolutely we'll see who makes

00:40:49.180 sense what an asshole thing to say well clearly clearly you nailed it thank you so much and uh

00:40:58.620 this next one says that you co-starred in a queer comedy web series called 20 that got nominated for

00:41:03.980 a streamy award absolutely oh my god how exciting how was that right right no cool cool that you have

00:41:11.980 that i'm so glad you found that i'm really and i like that we're talking about it

00:41:16.700 no it was really fun i was so young i guess i yeah i was in college probably like 20 21 um i did a

00:41:25.180 terrible play with this one girl we became really good friends and she wrote this like queer comedy

00:41:31.100 web series and i was the youngest person and i i was just so young um and my character is like a

00:41:40.620 bitchy uh who knows what they were but just like bitchy investment banker right right i was really

00:41:49.260 i looked the part you can say i nailed it um yeah very crazy and nominated for a streamy yeah we went

00:41:57.100 to palm springs for a thingy who knows for the streamies no some like festivals or whatever oh

00:42:04.060 nice yeah yeah okay t yeah i also have lost a streamy so we're twins in that i was also nominated

00:42:10.380 and lost yes and i don't even remember who i lost to either i don't remember was it just like a creator

00:42:17.900 award yeah it was like for a streamy and it was like you know that's like they're trying to make

00:42:22.860 a thing for content creators which i was like we don't need those absolutely hey hey we don't need

00:42:28.780 those what was the tyler oakley thing laughing face do you remember his speech i don't remember

00:42:34.940 his speech i remember tyler oakley i was so into tyler oakley at the time he was he was popping

00:42:39.500 when he gave us i remember noah centineo's oh my god that one he said about what was it again dace

00:42:45.100 do you remember that one the one that knows it's nail made he's like when you think yeah it was like

00:42:50.220 when you think or you imagine what is you like you said something for others it's what you do for

00:42:54.860 yourself and then it's for others and also for yourself or justin beavers when he said i'd also

00:43:00.060 like to thank god and jesus also jesus real i say that all the time to this day oh my god i'd love

00:43:07.340 to thank god and and it's just that and i guess jesus jesus i guess it's about what you have and what

00:43:12.940 you do with what you have that's what it is absolutely and you all laugh at that

00:43:19.100 but he was on to something honestly he was and the funniest quote from noah centineo is of course

00:43:27.100 his least snapchats when he said are you going to show me how to squirt or not absolutely well that

00:43:31.580 you squirt not how to squirt that'd be so funny yeah he's like wait so he's like real

00:43:37.340 shit he's like girl can you show me how diva i'm curious

00:43:44.460 that's what i i remember quotes like that that i find funny that i know they don't find funny

00:43:50.780 at this point in time yeah and like my favorite one recently well lately i would say in the fact

00:43:56.620 that i've been repeating it a bunch which is the sydney sweeney one where she's like guys it's my

00:44:01.660 mom's birthday when her mom was photographed in a trump hat and then they're like hey what the

00:44:06.220 fuck is this are you maggot and then she goes guys it's my mom's birthday she said guys it's bob

00:44:11.980 it's my mom's birthday you know that like you know it's crazy i'm gonna have to college together

00:44:17.260 really yeah tea yeah literally and i'm reading between the lines without you saying them thank

00:44:23.820 you so much yeah i got it i'm picking it up yep which is guys it's my mom's birthday hey guys

00:44:30.060 and when i think about it jeans are passed down from parents to offspring they are literally and

00:44:36.220 figuratively and she was and she was right when she's yeah guys it's my mom's birthday okay and i

00:44:46.460 couldn't believe i missed that i missed that slam dunk for my birthday caption on instagram i know guys

00:44:52.060 it's my 30th birthday i should have put that absolutely another one you can guess who said it

00:44:56.220 people are gonna die oh my god yeah people are gonna die but i guess it's inevitable hilarious

00:45:03.660 i'm gonna laugh because it's about coachella and people are dying and it's like and you're telling

00:45:10.300 me that i can't have my nips out in palm desert okay yeah what can i what kind of country are we

00:45:15.980 coming to at this point i can't dance in something offensive in the desert right god forbid god forbid

00:45:23.500 people die in the desert and you know what i'm gonna i'm the type of that's gonna keep those

00:45:31.740 quotes alive thank you i'm gonna keep them alive no matter how far they go like then no matter how

00:45:37.580 far down they go um i also know i have so many that i can't think of right now but they just come out

00:45:42.940 all the time like when i say well yes like absolutely that one there's a million of them

00:45:48.700 yeah that's what i love i love like guys it's my mom's birthday no holy and it's even better when

00:45:56.140 no one understands the reference yeah okay i have some more uh five facts makes me want to die

00:46:02.860 uh it says you once lived with a man who boiled his work pants in the one pot that they shared

00:46:07.980 right and what the hell is that so i lived with a man hey so what the fuck does that mean what do you

00:46:13.660 have to say about that huh so i have right here that a man boiled his pantaloons and it was they

00:46:20.460 were pantaloons so very literally speaking very so i lived with this guy for like a month maybe a month

00:46:27.660 and a half or something um he i don't know where he was moving from but he didn't bring anything with

00:46:33.100 him okay and i was like hey you can use my pots and pans and silverware and stuff like that's fine i

00:46:38.460 have one pot i live alone why do i need two yeah um i would come home from work he did not have a job

00:46:44.220 i would come home from work on the stove when i would want to make something it would be boiling

00:46:48.540 water and like linens and i was like what is this he would pull them out and they were pantaloons like

00:46:55.660 pantaloons and i was like hey so i'm so hungry and i'm the only one who has a job

00:47:03.980 so i need the pot and he was like well i can't because i'm boiling my pantaloons

00:47:11.020 no i see that um no and i came home and saw yes i noticed i've seen i've seen that yes it was so

00:47:17.180 bizarre and he also didn't wash his clothes but he got a big bucket um and would put water in it and

00:47:23.500 clean it on our patio is this man from the 17th century very ancient prehistoric man say like he's his

00:47:30.940 pantaloons did he elaborate on what no he was always kind of wearing like garments

00:47:38.060 like a man who loves a blouse yeah it was oh my god and he was doing the charleston

00:47:43.580 now that i think about it oh my wait i do know that

00:47:47.980 i have been blocked um no it was absolutely insane i would be like okay i'm so hungry i just want to make

00:47:53.580 like chef boyardee like beef ravioli right and i can't i can't make my annie's mac and cheese because

00:47:59.580 someone's bloomers are in my pot fully it was awful awful awful awful um he was so loud so messy and i

00:48:06.860 get like i'm a clean person like i'm an organized clean person but i understand like homes are to be

00:48:12.060 lived in right so if there's stuff around like that's fine always everywhere just disgusting

00:48:17.740 like hey dog yeah you gotta stop that especially the pants thing the pants thing was crazy the mess is

00:48:24.380 one thing the pants thing is another and then he moved he was like hey i'm gonna go to new york i was

00:48:28.540 like oh no i'm gonna miss you who's gonna soil my dishes wait in your in your absence how am i gonna

00:48:36.380 ruin all the things i own i miss you you meant a lot to me i haven't had too many terrible roommates

00:48:44.860 i had one roommate in college that wasn't the best but she wasn't the worst either um she did do one

00:48:50.940 weird thing though where like one time she asked me if she could have some of my alcohol and i was

00:48:55.740 like out because i'm very like yeah no like help yourself like i don't care um and i had a 30 rack

00:49:03.420 and two handle uh two handles and a bottle of wine when i came back all of it gone and i said

00:49:12.060 i'm sorry because she was probably maybe 110 pounds like she was the tiniest little woman that's ever

00:49:18.060 lived i was like did you drink all of that i could borrow a sip yeah she was like oh and then

00:49:23.900 the way she would answer questions like that was always so strange like she was like yeah it's like

00:49:29.740 crazy because like i just had like a crazy night but i was just like in here by myself i get you

00:49:34.940 drank all of that by yourself and she goes yeah sometimes i do that okay right do you have anyone

00:49:42.540 to talk to so before i freak out are you okay yeah absolutely and second of all i was like well

00:49:47.500 you're gonna replace it right because i'm broke and my parents left that with me when they left

00:49:52.700 like they came with me to hawaii to drop me off right and then left and so they left all the alcohol

00:49:56.140 with me and i was like okay well you're gonna replace it right she goes i mean yeah i can if you

00:50:00.780 need me to um yeah all of that alcohol that could feed a small army yeah like yeah i'd like you to

00:50:07.660 replace the are you nuts like i'm so thirsty yeah and i literally i'm not even kidding like i had to

00:50:13.820 pick the day that we went back to the store because she kept pushing it off and was like

00:50:17.420 oh i'll get another time i'll get another time and i was like i'm going to the store today you

00:50:20.460 want to come with me we can replace that stuff you drank yeah and she was like oh yeah and i go okay

00:50:25.020 perfect i'll wait for you in the room i'm here now and then i literally i'm not even kidding i felt

00:50:29.260 like i was holding her at gunpoint like to get her to the store i literally we took the bus together

00:50:34.540 sat on the bus walked into the walmart and then i was like took her to the alcohol aisle i literally

00:50:39.980 was like escorting her to go buy it because she would not do it on her own and when i went she

00:50:44.620 was trying to get me some cheap ass vodka i said you better put that down and pick that other bottle

00:50:48.700 up because that's the one you drink absolutely me not caring though when i'm when i'm 20 drinking

00:50:52.780 underage don't do it do as i say not as i don't do that yeah don't do that i've never done that but

00:50:58.300 when i was doing that you know it's like i'll drink piss out of a bottle i don't care but i was

00:51:01.580 like top shelf only only because she pissed me off i like gray goose i was like i'm a spedka girl so

00:51:07.260 i need you to get in on that yeah she said burnettes here's like warm burnettes oh yeah

00:51:13.500 don't bring me don't you bring me another amsterdam bottle i swear to god but you have

00:51:18.140 you had a lot of crazy roommates oh um honestly no my college my last college roommate we just left

00:51:25.660 on bad terms um which is the very diplomatic way of saying that um hope you're well um but no just the

00:51:35.500 pantaloons guy um oh my god okay well the guy that tried to kill me oh yeah that's right so

00:51:42.060 the roommate that i had for the longest her name was ally she was so great we lived in north hollywood

00:51:47.340 um and she was moving stuff over and he sees her outside and goes up to her and says i have

00:51:54.540 the key to your apartment she was like tea okay as far as i know only one woman lives in there

00:52:01.500 absolutely yeah um and she's like okay great i'm gonna change the locks so she changed changes the

00:52:06.700 locks every night for probably three months he was like screaming around the building just like saying

00:52:12.700 nothing nonsense right um would take sharpies and draw on the walls of the hallway like

00:52:18.780 the people who live here fuck the girls who live in this apartment like blah blah blah it was just you

00:52:22.620 two just it was just us two why hated our guts for any particular reason no i had never even seen

00:52:29.500 him at that point so yeah it was just something was unwell yeah um but he would be like he would draw

00:52:35.820 guns and skulls and nooses and he's like i'm gonna kill all these people like slave okay not great um

00:52:42.940 will you give me a heads up or it's kind of a surprise let me know yeah well just let me know so my

00:52:47.500 calendar's free absolutely yeah um his apartment was like right next to the laundry room which you had to

00:52:52.300 walk past to go do laundry and he would talk to other people in the building um and he was like

00:52:57.660 do you know the girls that live in da da da apartment that's even scarier super really really scary yeah

00:53:02.780 they're like yeah we do he's like i'm gonna get them right right and it was the middle of covid so

00:53:09.340 no one was like getting evicted and no one was being moved out or blah blah blah um and then eventually

00:53:14.620 we got a camera for our front door and we would watch the video back in the middle of the night he

00:53:19.980 would come and stand in front of our door and watch on the camera just looking not just staring

00:53:25.900 into staring into the camera like really scary yeah he like kicked a guy's door in he like tried

00:53:31.420 to break into our apartment a bunch of times um and then eventually i like stopped being scared and i

00:53:36.860 was like you are so fucking annoying like i listen to you every fucking night say

00:53:42.220 bullshit so i would go down there uh he would be like walking around the building and i would go down

00:53:47.020 there and i'd be like can you shut up yeah like please stop he's like i'm gonna get you i'm gonna

00:53:50.300 kill you i'm like you haven't yeah you haven't yet a lot of this but when i come around yeah you don't

00:53:56.140 want to post up fully fully i'm like do it please i'm no at this point i'd rather you kill me than

00:54:03.260 keep fucking yapping shit i'm gonna kill you okay right have yet to see it and honestly those guys a

00:54:10.300 lot of times prey on fear like just like avoiding them and not yeah completely and so the weirdest one is

00:54:16.700 so my roommate and a bunch of the people who live in the building went to the landlord's office and

00:54:22.300 they're like hey this guy's really scary yeah we need to get him out and the landlord looks at my

00:54:26.780 roommate and goes well if you're scared just move out love that okay why do i have to move out when

00:54:32.620 this guy's threatening to kill me thank you right and then so they're like okay we're gonna lock the

00:54:37.980 the floor so he can't get up to your floor whatever blah blah in the middle of the night i hear like

00:54:42.460 like metal clanging i go down there he's taking a drill to the back door to try to get into the

00:54:50.220 building so i'm filming all of this yeah and i open the door and i go what the fuck are you doing

00:54:55.980 and he's like um um i'm like yeah you have a drill yeah and i was yeah i can hear it i can hear

00:55:02.300 the metal drill yeah he's like i'm gonna get you i'm gonna i'm gonna get you i'm gonna kill you

00:55:05.500 blah blah and i was like do it you haven't you won't you won't you won't you won't do it and i

00:55:13.020 had never called the police and i called the police stupid yeah because i showed them the video um and

00:55:18.540 they go don't show this to anyone ever again i was like why and they go because it shows that you're

00:55:22.780 not inferior to him because i stood up for myself so they're like so you got it yeah so like so hey you

00:55:30.140 so you bothered me for what that's what yeah fuck the cops yeah no fully they were like you're bold

00:55:35.820 you've got it you know what girl you don't don't look down anymore your crown is falling fully they

00:55:43.740 said your spark in your energy is something we've all been talking about put your hair in a messy bun

00:55:50.460 and handle it fully they're girl bossing you fully get that smoothie

00:55:59.980 don't even talk to her before she's had her copy absolutely after pilates you got this

00:56:05.180 i was like he's gonna kill me they're like and what yeah yeah really stupid so then you're dumb you

00:56:10.140 should have edited this part out now i know you can stand up for yourself so and it's funny because

00:56:14.300 even if you couldn't they still wouldn't do shit no absolutely and then i i i don't know if it was

00:56:19.180 before or after this but i called and i was like can i make a report they're like there's no need

00:56:24.220 according to who you according to imagine what is that is that guy is that guy the

00:56:29.100 fucking chief of police the one that's threatening to kill you wait that's my bestie

00:56:34.460 no need no need i already did i i think i wrote it down in my head

00:56:37.820 like while you were telling me when i was at your house the other night i wrote it down no

00:56:40.300 like put it on post it yeah don't worry i i sent it through slack it's fine they'll get it

00:56:43.820 i sent a slack message to the reports people they're gonna take care of it don't worry about

00:56:48.860 it yeah it's totally fine oh she passed away oh anyway that's like i i first of all good for

00:56:57.020 fucking you thank you because they at a certain point you're like bitch let's have it out i and

00:57:01.820 i need to brawl in the street at this point i'm gonna beat the shit out of you how's that like at

00:57:05.180 this point i'm sick of it absolutely all this all this shit talking i'm over it yeah we had a

00:57:09.660 and trying to like intimidate you that part was that's the worst part that was the craziest we

00:57:13.500 had like a hammer next to our door like just in case yeah um because i don't believe in guns

00:57:19.740 i'd smash the skull in right um and then my roommate had like a a ladder like a rope ladder

00:57:25.580 to throw out of the window in case we had to leave oh my god it was insane it went on for like

00:57:29.900 so fucking long months that's insane yeah so i'm glad you weren't alone during that time me too

00:57:34.940 so not roommate but crazy man yeah crazy man in my building yeah yeah that's and honestly that's

00:57:40.700 why i said like a lot of times like when you say some shit back all of a sudden it's like hello well

00:57:46.540 i didn't really prepare for the second half of the conversation so wait you're standing up for

00:57:52.300 yourself wait a second that's not what girls do you've changed my mind yeah i'm like okay great i'm

00:57:59.100 not gonna kill you after all i'm gonna erase what i wrote on the walls yeah imagine he's like

00:58:04.460 what are you doing later you're kind of cute i'm like no not that i'm really looking at you

00:58:10.620 his name was ask nart ask nart ask nart that was a government name or is it a nickname you think

00:58:16.860 who do anyone's guess honestly a person running around the building saying they're gonna kill you

00:58:22.540 would be named ask nart i think absolutely heavy on the ass ass fart maybe oh my god i should have

00:58:28.620 said that we're like ass fart how's that i'm gonna kill you okay as far as an arc girl yeah that's what

00:58:35.980 i said wait what'd you say nothing you guys ever try to rage bait your bully your stalker you rage bait

00:58:43.820 your stalker okay yeah okay ask for it it's like stop wait i love shit like that that's why i said

00:58:55.740 you're not the boss of me that's the best one absolutely no why because you're not the boss of

00:58:59.660 me that's why when i was in um arizona for work stuff once we were at like a tick tock event thing

00:59:05.660 that i was hosting and i uh took like my sister and my man and um alex like she came with us too and

00:59:13.260 i remember like in between i was hosting live so like it was a whole big music thing so there was

00:59:18.300 a bunch of different acts whatever so in between like i would go host and then once the music act

00:59:23.180 started i would come back and sit with them and like one of the last times they came back there was

00:59:27.260 like they put us in this huge section because it was in a baseball stadium so we were like on this

00:59:31.340 huge open part there was a ton of couches a ton of room to stand and watch and the person performing

00:59:37.020 was niall horn and that's important to remember so we're all standing there i come out i'm like

00:59:42.620 getting some food and stuff i'm about to sit down and like my sister and alex are sitting on the

00:59:46.780 couch and they're both small they're both short so like we're sitting on this couch we've been

00:59:50.380 there for hours because i've been there since it started and there was like a big group of guys

00:59:54.780 there they were like older men in like their 50s i think they were working for like the tech company

00:59:58.780 that like helped do the lighting and yeah so they got to stand up there there's plenty of space

01:00:03.420 to stand and watch and they keep standing directly in front of my sister and alex and they're both

01:00:09.420 small so they can't see so they would ask like hey can you guys scoot a little bit to the left

01:00:13.260 it changed doesn't change the view the seat nothing right and so like they moved once and then the

01:00:18.460 second time my sister asked again like hey can you guys please move over because it's again it's open

01:00:23.180 bar so like people are fucked up at this point it's towards the end of the night and then the second

01:00:27.980 time she asked it's like this old ass dude he turns around he goes no and then he just turns back

01:00:32.540 around and then i was at the table getting food at the time and my sister said that she's like okay well i'm

01:00:38.940 gonna tell my sister and then you're gonna have to deal with her when she comes back yeah so i came

01:00:43.660 to sit down and i was like why are these guys just standing here and she was like i asked him but he

01:00:48.060 went no and i go all right so i went up and i like tapped him on the shoulder and i was like excuse me

01:00:54.300 and they tried to ignore me at first and it was him and like a bunch of other dudes they're all like

01:00:58.860 old ass white dudes all of them their hair's gray yeah so then he turns around he looks at me like

01:01:03.100 all disgusted and i was like would you guys mind just scooting to the left because some people are

01:01:06.860 sitting behind you and they're not very tall so they can't see i was like would you guys mind and

01:01:11.180 then he goes no like to my face like rude as fuck and when he said that i go why yeah and then when i

01:01:20.460 tell you we sat in silence for 15 seconds because he had no idea what the fuck to say to me why

01:01:27.820 and then he was like and i go hello yeah and i'm like talking louder now so i'm like is there a

01:01:35.340 a problem and then at that point my man stood up and he was like what's going on and i was like

01:01:39.820 this guy won't move and now he won't tell me why i said why and then we're both standing there my man's

01:01:45.100 big as hell too i'm i'm six feet and my man is six four so we're standing there and we're looking i'm

01:01:50.620 like is there a problem and then the guy was like um like he's not saying words at all like he's just

01:01:58.860 uttering noises like he's like well it's crazy that you asked me that question and then he goes

01:02:07.100 well earlier you you came up to me and we're like ah that's exactly the verbatim what he said and then

01:02:14.620 my man goes what the fuck does that even mean and then we're just looking at each other and i go

01:02:19.980 again is there an issue yeah can you move yes or no and then they were just looking at me and i go

01:02:25.340 are you what are you a big nile horn fan like what the fuck's wrong with you absolutely and then

01:02:29.100 and then his friend comes over and goes hey dude just like it just come over it's not a big deal

01:02:33.900 sorry about that and i was like yeah no i know it's not a big deal go ahead and then they started

01:02:37.340 moving i guess thanks guys appreciate you and then we went and sat down i was like yeah they won't get

01:02:41.660 in front of you again i promise you that look how easy that was yeah but it's like when you press

01:02:45.660 them they're like why why oh no one's ever asked me that i know and eric cedeno was there and he

01:02:56.700 told because he was co-hosting with me and i remember right after that we went back to host

01:03:00.380 one more time and he was like that was the scariest thing i've ever seen and i go what he goes just you

01:03:06.220 and your man standing like that i would poop my pants and i was like i know and i was like it's

01:03:12.460 really they were really being disrespectful because i'm a girl and they were just like well

01:03:16.620 no you did go up to him and go raw so that part's on me that's not i take that that's on me that's

01:03:22.940 crazy also not an excuse also you're 150 years old like what is your problem like you're just trying

01:03:28.540 to bully young women for what he's like he's playing slow hands i have to stand you don't understand how

01:03:33.660 much this town means to me absolutely i bought this town on itunes i sure did

01:03:39.100 oh okay last one fact uh it says you have done motion capture performing work for an animated tv

01:03:46.780 series and it says photo below yeah that's me oh wait i know her yeah what was that for that's so

01:03:56.780 cool it was for like a animated kids show called super giant robot brothers so cool and i got to play

01:04:04.620 like an evil alien lady and um some of the robots and like a bunch of other like alien people they

01:04:11.740 love to cast me as like villainous woman you're telling me hey you said and i'm here all the roles

01:04:18.060 i get are like huge in the office that's the byline it's always like a cunt but soft at heart

01:04:25.340 rancid energy you're like everybody hates her but it's the heart of gold looks like

01:04:32.620 like that yeah they especially when i was younger they were like okay so you're gonna play the

01:04:38.300 bitch is that okay i was like yeah sure um but this one was so much fun and they were like hey like

01:04:43.980 we also might want you to like be the voice i was like no way they didn't pick me i was gonna say

01:04:50.140 though i think you would thrive in voice work i would love to do it i feel like you would thrive

01:04:54.860 whether it's like adult cartoon or for kids i think you would kill people say it all the time

01:04:59.260 and i'm like yeah are you gonna offer me something yeah you're okay so let's keep that up yeah

01:05:04.220 pass that on to your friends i i would love to i think you would kill in something like that you

01:05:08.220 have such a distinct tone of voice thank you and i can imagine it in an adult cartoon too like a

01:05:13.340 bojack horseman or like bob's burgers kind of thing i would love to love that yeah well thank you so

01:05:19.580 much for coming and hanging out with me yeah on our first day of spooky season no i know did you

01:05:23.900 enjoy yourself i did oh perfect we look so spooky in a way yes we do and in a horrifying way yes in

01:05:31.900 a very off-putting way i would say but for to close this out do you have any advice for any aspiring theater

01:05:38.700 kids that are coming up maybe usually utilizing social media kind of like you have been absolutely

01:05:44.220 um get get the tattoos like oh my god they would always be like don't get tattoos because they're

01:05:51.580 gonna have to cover them and you won't be able to do a role diva long sleeves exist right and makeup

01:05:57.260 exists also body makeup what if you never book then you're just gonna you never got you're just gonna

01:06:02.380 hold out just in case fully um that's a good idea that's good advice that's my only one get tattoo

01:06:08.860 probably that period i love that well thank you so much for coming on the show thanks for having

01:06:15.020 me i fucking love you you're the best i'm rooting for you i can't wait for everyone else to keep

01:06:19.020 watching you and consuming you and then one day seeing i can't wait till you're like in the literal

01:06:24.140 like shakespearean theater in england and then i get to pull up this pic of you looking like this

01:06:29.420 absolutely and then i go i say never can you move i'm gonna say never forget your roots that's what

01:06:36.140 i'm gonna i'm gonna tag you in it never forget them thank you thank you all so much for joining

01:06:40.860 us on this episode of the comment section show thank you to my amazing guest sarah where can

01:06:44.940 everybody find you you can find me on tick tock i think it's sriracha it has to be there's no way

01:06:51.020 it's not at this point yes sriracha and then instagram sriracha again and then i have my cute

01:06:56.620 little pod yes sriracha sleepover period she's new but she's cute love that and you're uh hosting it

01:07:02.940 alone yes yes yeah i love that that's how you know you're good to be honest when you can talk

01:07:07.980 by yourself for a fucking hour oh and i know yeah and i do and dead yeah make sure you all check out

01:07:15.580 sarah she's so fucking funny and you're just gonna keep seeing her everywhere but memorialize this carrot

01:07:20.780 in your head that's the most important part wait don't remember oh yeah i was doing that earlier

01:07:24.540 to kind of show people my i'm a highlighter by the way not a penis i don't want to hear it don't

01:07:29.260 i should have picked a different color perfect thank you all so much for tuning in to this episode

01:07:35.820 of the comment section show don't forget new episodes drop every wednesday you can stream

01:07:39.260 the audio on all streaming platforms but the video lives for free and exclusively on our favorite

01:07:42.620 platform spotify thank you so much to my amazing guest sarah thank you so much for tuning in and i'll

01:07:46.460 i'll see you next week bye

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - October 08, 2025

GUYS, IT’S MY MOM’S BIRTHDAY Ft. Sarah Doerner ｜ Episode 190

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