The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

00:00:00.000 like there's a video i don't remember who i heard this from actually or if it was like a viral thing

00:00:03.460 but it was like what's the funniest misconception your boyfriend has about periods right and there

00:00:07.740 was one person that said their boyfriend thought you just put the tampon in and then you take it

00:00:11.160 out like you just put it you just dip it in it gets the stuff well it's like testing the ph of

00:00:16.020 a pool exactly hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show

00:00:27.180 starring me your fave everybody knows me who cares about me on to the guests but before we get there

00:00:32.340 we are in unfamiliar surroundings team we're in new york and today we have a new york legend a

00:00:38.860 hilarious and ridiculously talented marybeth barone i can't believe i'm here oh my gosh same this is

00:00:47.140 so exciting our first time here together it and is this your first recording in new york or you've

00:00:50.880 done them i've done them before but at different studios okay this is our first time in this studio

00:00:55.420 in this studio spotify hq yes the view outside is crazy it is it's ridiculous i can't yeah it's

00:01:01.100 just good to be at the world trade center on election day i think so yeah hopefully it's a

00:01:05.120 good sign i think so too i think we're i don't want to say anything actually okay same same but i will

00:01:12.420 say marybeth i know you were late but the only reason i'm bringing it up is because i'm always late

00:01:18.260 okay thank you so much so i feel seen and validated giving me that gift i i time zones are really hard

00:01:23.780 i'm not going to say who put this event on my calendar i won't name names it wasn't me though

00:01:28.920 but time zones are tough it's math and it's it's tech it's big tech it's big pharma i feel like

00:01:37.020 yeah just all is forgiven when it comes to time zones for me but i just appreciate that you didn't

00:01:41.780 um lock me out of the building that's big time that was yeah that's a big big time big time and

00:01:46.660 they sort of run they run shit yeah and we don't know not enough people talk about big time so here we

00:01:51.920 are at spotify hq we're breaking the news live yeah about big time especially because i am

00:01:57.560 notoriously and always late so much so that my team lies to me about times all the time whoa yeah it's

00:02:04.120 really bad what's your so can i have like your average lateness and then what do you think is

00:02:08.460 like the grace period for people being late for things that you are organizing i know i'm like

00:02:12.900 anything anytime i'm like wow yeah even though my time that's why i didn't care when they told me i was

00:02:17.580 like i don't care like i don't mind at all i would say my buffer's like 20 25 minutes which is bad

00:02:24.400 i know i'm not that's west coast that's a west coast lifestyle i like in new york if yeah if

00:02:29.780 you're not early or late that's it but i really love being punctual so then to be an hour late for

00:02:34.380 something i actually asked to do is kind of insane and that's just what you're gonna get with me

00:02:39.680 but that's how bad you want to do it yeah so excited you forgot i was so excited i thought i had

00:02:45.380 five more hours to get ready i could have 11 hours to get ready and i'll still be like i need

00:02:50.520 like 30 more minutes and that's my cross to bear a lot of times i just blame it on being brown

00:02:55.820 like you know i just think minority people time runs different i've always joked too i'm like well

00:03:01.660 you know whatever time i tell you to show up or like i'll be there just add two hours added

00:03:07.820 because i'm most likely lying you know that's called fashionably late fashionably so that's a

00:03:12.520 thing i mean in america i feel like there's so much emphasis on being on time and then in other

00:03:16.380 countries like i know there's like one country where the train just sort of arrives when it arrives

00:03:20.340 and you're gonna get where you're going at some point but people don't value being on time there so

00:03:25.400 it's like it doesn't matter and i think it's cool to dip into that every once in a while but in yeah

00:03:30.960 in new york everyone's moving so fast like i walk really fast i always want to get where i'm going

00:03:34.840 and i just want things to be over right so that's and that's bad that's no way to live

00:03:39.340 like i i should enjoy i'm living in the moment you are that's why you're actually living in the

00:03:44.360 you're living in the past in a way yeah it went the moment went without me exactly the train has

00:03:49.740 left the station i think new york would like collectively freak out if the trains just showed

00:03:55.960 up whenever although i'm sure sometimes it feels that they just show up whenever it is one reason

00:03:59.920 that i could never live off the g train it's the g train's world and we're just living in it i don't

00:04:04.780 know if you ever had the pleasure but also what's confusing about the g train is that um i i've

00:04:09.260 gotten on it i've gotten on it going in the wrong direction multiple times because it's like queens

00:04:13.360 is or manhattan is toward brooklyn or something it just makes no sense okay so it's that's one where

00:04:18.560 i'm like i think someone from la designed this that's what it's sort of feeling like i would i would

00:04:24.300 believe you honestly that's big subway big subway and again they're sort of in charge right

00:04:29.080 puppeteering if you will well and when i was actually the craziest part of the story is i put

00:04:33.420 in my gps this address and it wanted me to take the ferry oh and the ferry took an hour so i immediately

00:04:40.440 saw that i said i'm getting in an uber and then when i looked it up further in my phone in the uber

00:04:45.400 i could have taken two subways in 26 minutes so i don't know what's happening today i think everyone's

00:04:50.680 a little out of sorts due to the events that are unfolding and currently how how is your election

00:04:55.980 season then i mean we don't have to talk about it too much yeah it's been i mean horrifying i'm sure

00:05:00.500 like most people feel very scared to feel hopeful yeah but hopefully no pun intended everything works

00:05:06.920 out the way we would like it to for now yeah you know we'll know in a couple months right i do want

00:05:12.920 to talk about your career a little bit okay about being in stand-up if we have to i just think you're

00:05:16.800 fantastic thank you but i would love to know how you kind of got into stand-up obviously i find you

00:05:21.140 fucking hilarious and i've watched your um your opener on the tonight show oh yes and i thought it

00:05:27.100 was fantastic thank you you're so funny so i would love to know how you kind of got into stand-up

00:05:30.760 yeah it was sort of accidental i always wanted to be famous as a kid i was i don't know when you

00:05:36.000 were born i was born in 1991 so 95 okay so i was like mary-kate nashley era lizzie mcguire

00:05:41.220 love love love um seeing all my heroes flourish britney spears people like that the spice

00:05:45.680 girls i was very inspired so i really wanted to get in the mix although i i'm not an epo baby

00:05:50.600 and i had no idea how to get involved in the industry in showbiz so i don't tell you that

00:05:56.160 part they don't it's like you have to sort of figure it out for yourself i never got discovered

00:05:59.940 at the mall which is like a huge thing that i carry with me oh my gosh had you ever been approached

00:06:04.400 like i feel like what my mom was approached one time when i was with her but i wasn't a child i was

00:06:09.980 like 13 you were like approachable age yeah did that give you a complex well they were like i think

00:06:16.340 your daughter could be a child star or whatever mind you we're in like chino hills california which

00:06:22.580 again is like inland empire so it's like it's not even a major city it's not a but that's the best

00:06:27.400 place to get right i thought you meant they approached your mom to discover her no they

00:06:31.600 approached while you're standing there like a lemon yeah right and then my mom goes no we're not

00:06:35.600 interested and then i go why would you do that my mom goes that guy had no information he's in

00:06:42.080 regular street clothes he just walks up hey not even a business card no not even he had no card

00:06:47.200 she said can i have a card he didn't have one and she goes i think that was a scam or something could

00:06:51.340 have been it could have been walt disney yeah right never know right we'll never know he could

00:06:55.580 have unfrozen that one day and that train inland empire for some new talent and it literally

00:07:01.540 the ship sailed without me i think you could have i think you could have been a star i obviously

00:07:06.240 didn't know you at that age but i feel like you you have child star potential right but it's i think

00:07:11.340 it's better to happen later in life i agree for like the development of your brain and everything i

00:07:15.780 agree um so i was never discovered i was never plucked out of obscurity and so i had sort of resigned

00:07:20.940 myself to like a normal life and then when i i lived in new york after i dropped dropped out of

00:07:26.060 college i was working at a startup and i was like i think i'm gonna take improv classes like it feels

00:07:31.040 like a fun thing to do after work naturally i had a nine nine to six it's not nine to five by the way

00:07:35.300 they tell you that it's nine to six it's complete scam not including commute it's insane oh yeah

00:07:40.420 yeah so you get home by 10 how does that work it's ridiculous so i signed up you look like you would

00:07:45.660 take improv classes thank you yeah thank you so i actually never heard that before yeah but yeah i

00:07:49.860 did i did do that take it how you will thank you and i will take it as a compliment um i i signed up

00:07:54.920 for ucb rest in peace i think it's mostly defunct now but then a few months in i was like i think i'm

00:08:00.100 gonna try stand up i was like watching a lot of stand up and i thought i have something to add to

00:08:03.700 this conversation and so i bought a kate spade notebook and i wrote some ideas down and then i

00:08:09.600 went to ucb to an all women's open mic they gave you two minutes okay 120 seconds to get to bear your

00:08:15.720 soul and i said if this if i bomb i'll never do it again but if it goes well who's to say what might

00:08:21.260 happen right um and it did go well fortunately slash unfortunately and so uh six months later i

00:08:28.780 quit my job broke up with my boyfriend and moved out of our apartment and i was like i'm gonna be

00:08:32.820 a comedian and that's just what's gonna happen right and thankfully it worked out i mean yeah

00:08:37.760 i'm actually like why didn't my family or friends try to stop me because it's like a deranged thing

00:08:41.900 to do but they didn't they just supported me that's good so i'm thankful or concerning yeah depending

00:08:48.360 on why well my my gay bestie from high school because i have a few gay besties from different walks

00:08:52.880 of life he was like we all know you're insane and you were going to do whatever you wanted to do

00:08:56.180 so there's no point in arguing with you yeah they're kind of just like keeping the perimeter

00:08:59.600 around you at all times exactly they're like whatever it is you want queen just do it and i

00:09:03.720 i acknowledge my privilege i had a support system yeah if i ever fell on hard times i could ask my

00:09:09.380 parents for help so i did get like you know part-time jobs and stuff but i became like full-time

00:09:14.800 comedian in quotes because like what does that mean in uh 2019 right in time for the um the world to

00:09:20.160 shut down right right before right when performing live was not a good idea at all right but i'd done

00:09:27.100 enough of it where i couldn't picture myself doing anything else so that's good in the pandemic it was

00:09:31.500 sort of like yeah you're back to the drawing board on like how to express yourself um without the stage

00:09:37.120 but i found that a fun challenge and yeah it feels like a distant memory but also it feels like it's

00:09:42.800 still happening in a way how was it coming up in in comedy like how has it been as far as like i know

00:09:47.740 it's a very male-dominated field obviously but how has that been for you um luckily we are living

00:09:53.760 in a time where there's a lot of like independent comedy venues so people like us and you know the

00:10:00.940 fellow members of the lgbtq community lots of women and um that just non-straight white men yeah we

00:10:07.260 have the ability to produce our own shows and grow audiences online so but the early on sort of path is

00:10:13.920 to go through the club scene which is like very tough as a woman i'm sure and you hear yeah i've

00:10:20.360 it's hard i i don't i'm just happy that people starting now have like a lot more options of where

00:10:27.260 to perform other than going the traditional route going the traditional route because it is just so

00:10:30.700 i mean as as much as progress has been made i think at some of those venues you still will see all

00:10:37.040 male lineups or you'll be in a green room and you'll feel like unsafe or you're just on a show with

00:10:42.000 people that like you fundamentally don't agree with or align with on any issue so it's tough but

00:10:48.660 it's really nice that we have a lot more safe spaces for us and our audiences who don't want to

00:10:53.320 hear that like bigotry or like complaining about how hard it is yeah they don't find that shit funny

00:10:59.020 no which is crazy it's awesome it's crazy how that works yeah so i want to say that i'm a huge fan of

00:11:05.800 yours obviously discovered you on tiktok roasting men which is a pastime of mine as well but i have

00:11:12.240 like learned so much from you oh thank you i never heard of body neutrality oh yeah um before you did

00:11:18.020 a video about it i think or you had spoken out about it and i just feel like i don't know there

00:11:22.360 you are like very inspiring so i love that you have like all these ways to reach your audience and

00:11:27.880 i think it's like awesome and i love like i said before we started recording doing a podcast in full

00:11:33.080 glam it's like we can only aspire to such things and you know what's funny about that is i obviously

00:11:39.100 am in full glam and i was working this morning but what i will say is when i first started this show

00:11:44.900 and like it was the baby that it was i said like i talked to my mom and sister and i only had one

00:11:51.220 person on my team at that time and we were kind of talking about the show and i was like i think i

00:11:54.520 could do it myself like i'm pretty good at doing my own hair and makeup and then the first day of

00:11:59.020 shoots it was like rehearsal and then shooting cover art and so i did the rehearsal and like

00:12:03.660 obviously there have these very high def camera these ones are even more high def i'm sure but i

00:12:08.220 did i did the rehearsal my mom watched it obviously my sister watched it um and they were like oh so

00:12:13.940 funny so great my mom goes yeah you should hire someone i said oh my mom's showing me she's like

00:12:21.260 yeah i think you should hire someone see i love that me too i love that moms will say those things

00:12:26.560 that others are afraid to say yeah and you know what's funny is that same day i had a very awful

00:12:32.560 eye infection that i didn't know yet um but are you familiar with bulldogs at all i am not like i've

00:12:40.220 never had one but i know what they look like yeah they get this thing called cherry eye where like

00:12:45.020 their blood like literally it pops out like their eyes bulging out and you have to like massage it to

00:12:49.360 make it go back in right with those nails well i don't do the massage my point being that's what my eye

00:12:55.200 looked like and i was so stressed because i was like doing this for the first time and i was like

00:12:59.620 it's not that bad right and i was looking at my sister and my sister was like no and then in post

00:13:06.500 they had to edit my eye down because my eye was so red and inflamed whoa and i'm like going like

00:13:11.360 do you know what you got it from yeah it was um something flew in my eye and scratched my cornea

00:13:17.620 so i had a corneal ulcer so wow yeah it was a big it was a big day i got two bad news bears that day

00:13:25.540 which was need to hire someone because my skills are not up to par competing with these hd cameras

00:13:31.020 we're gonna lose every time yeah i'm gonna lose i'm scared to see what i did my makeup in a rush

00:13:36.560 because i was late and so we'll see i think you look fantastic i didn't put a highlighter on

00:13:42.080 that could be this could be the end of my career that no highlighter well now that you mention it

00:13:46.720 it's looking a little flat yeah also i had to rip my nails off and now i'm looking at your nails with

00:13:50.700 envy i'm like did i even show up for work today the fuck's wrong with me it's like she yeah for real

00:13:56.580 i had really hard it's it's so hard i had barbie pink nails and you know i mean i feel like you

00:14:02.080 probably don't let them grow out but i just they were like they were starting to lift and getting caught

00:14:07.660 in my hair and you hate that so i had to make the difficult choice to rip them off and you have to rip

00:14:11.840 them off immediately immediately because if one is off it's like i'm not going anywhere till

00:14:15.340 i have 10 clean fingernails i feel like that too but i've i've had these for so long like this length

00:14:21.460 that i feel like pretty natural with them now now when i don't have any nails at all which is rare

00:14:26.280 if i do but if i don't i feel like my hands they look like those little remember when people were

00:14:31.260 super into those tiny hands and they'd put them in their sleeves oh yeah that's what i mean

00:14:35.060 that's what i have right now it's really scary i think your hands look normal size but mine i feel like

00:14:40.580 they're just so small now and now you're used to seeing them with the sort of like elegance of

00:14:46.380 the and and they really do like trick the eye right they really do i think so i'd like to think so

00:14:52.080 and look at that rock period i mean how cool is that right oh my gosh thank you sorry i'm blinded

00:14:58.420 i hope the hd cameras are picking that up you can see this from space probably that's so just kidding

00:15:04.180 that's me bragging about my no it's a fabulous ring did you pick it out was it a joint effort

00:15:08.920 no not at all and i feel like people think i'm lying when i say that but i i'm a very type a

00:15:16.100 person so i love to control things and pick things out with the ring i just knew that he was not going

00:15:21.440 to let me have any say okay like because i i he was like i want to give it to you i want to surprise

00:15:26.260 you plus like i just trust him so implicitly with things that i like that i'm like i'm sure he's

00:15:31.680 going to do a great job and he did even better than i thought right and he also made it gold too

00:15:36.300 because i only wear gold jewelry so i said that's my man he did a fabulous job thank you so much i

00:15:42.320 just want to acknowledge the work thank you i appreciate that i'm sure he does too he's listening

00:15:45.640 in the other room it's okay yeah he's in the other room not too many compliments for him though he

00:15:50.000 doesn't need those sorry i take it all back i do want to ask you this is one of my favorite questions

00:15:55.360 to ask a stand-up comics like female stand-up comics which is like have you ever been given advice

00:16:00.000 unsolicited advice after a set by someone who was worse than you i mean i've gotten unsolicited

00:16:06.040 advice from an audience member i did a while you're actively performing well i'm sure after the

00:16:13.600 fact it was it was after so i was at gotham comedy club and i walked out from my set which did go well

00:16:20.340 not to toot my own horn a man followed me outside he starts pitching me on tags on my jokes and then

00:16:26.560 he goes you should be writing this down oh no thanks why i'm good i thought you just wanted

00:16:35.760 to vent to me yeah i got hey why don't you go back in and and do the two drink minimum that you're

00:16:39.900 gonna pay for and leave my leave my business to me it was i mean that's just like it happens all the

00:16:46.020 time and it's not i mean that's like one example that really stuck out to me because i was just like

00:16:50.640 where the fuck do you come off also the pitch wasn't good yeah i'm like are you catching these

00:16:55.780 nuggets i'm dropping well that's what's scary about about performing in a comedy club because

00:17:00.440 they have so much access to you i know and people know your exact location all the time that's crazy

00:17:05.420 which is really frightening i had to stop posting shows for a bit because there was one guy that was

00:17:09.180 just like showing up to all of them and standing in the back and he was just kind of scaring me so

00:17:13.260 that's you know it's it's there's any number of things that you would experience as a female

00:17:17.820 stand-up that make you uncomfortable one of them certainly being getting advice you didn't ask for

00:17:22.020 and i have plenty of people i go to when i need help on a joke it is not going to be a random

00:17:28.160 middle-aged straight white man in the audience at gotham comedy club right it's just not going to

00:17:32.980 happen i have like a running bit where i i talk about how like straight white men they'll tell like

00:17:38.520 two fat jokes that make their like shithead friends laugh yeah and then they'll be like i should start

00:17:44.800 working in comedy and then they do and then they work for 15 years right and then they get stand-up

00:17:50.960 specials right and then i'm in a green room with them do you get that it's really hard my thing

00:17:55.920 right now is like if you are a straight man who wants to be a comedian you better have a point of

00:18:00.060 view right if you're coming in with the same recycled shit that we've been hearing since the dawn of time

00:18:04.500 right i don't need it i don't need it yeah i really don't know it's cool it's funny too because i've

00:18:09.220 when i i was like fucking up a different comedian for telling a bunch of and you know who i'm talking

00:18:14.140 about but a bunch of jokes about like it's just bigotry right so i i even said i'm like

00:18:19.160 those jokes are are fucking lazy more than anything and i was like i even said i'm like

00:18:24.260 i could find all those jokes on like your racist uncle's facebook page probably with their memes

00:18:29.120 yeah probably with a minion behind it oh for multiple millions absolutely a picture that's

00:18:33.700 why i'm like this shit's just not funny like because then after i posted that video i had

00:18:37.380 people going like oh people get so offended and like and like uh he's a comedian it's his

00:18:42.600 you know job to tell jokes to which i'm always like i would consider myself a pretty funny

00:18:46.700 person i mean as would i we can check tape if you guys would like but i i feel like i have a

00:18:51.060 pretty solid track record to prove i'm funny i know i'm funny but i was like maybe give me a

00:18:56.020 shred of credit and everybody else who fucking hated it uh maybe the shit sucks maybe it's just

00:19:00.220 not funny yeah like have you considered the fact that maybe the joke was ass like did you guys

00:19:03.820 consider that or no they don't well and they want to jump on anyone that has a problem with a joke

00:19:08.020 i'm like and i will say i give a lot of grace to jokes that are offensive but they're funny i'm like

00:19:13.360 you know what there's merit there it's clever and or it makes me rethink something or i feel like

00:19:17.820 it's like you know holding a mirror up to society or whatever yeah but then there's ones that just

00:19:21.820 like aren't funny and lazy and have been told like you know it's a joke from a popsicle stick yeah it's

00:19:28.540 just like really that's what that's your best stuff right that you wanted to bring to the world stage

00:19:33.100 it's confusing that's your best self huh it's really confusing it's it's tough to watch i mean

00:19:39.720 uh comedy's changing so much right now because of social media right i think in some ways for

00:19:45.040 better like i said finding your own audience not going through the the you know old channels that

00:19:50.560 we had but i do think there's like so much access to being a comedian now that comes with it's like a

00:19:56.320 lot of good and a lot of bad a lot of bad which you know i think there's a bubble i think it'll pop in

00:20:01.040 the next few years right i think being a comedian now is what it what people thought being in a band in

00:20:07.140 the 90s was like it felt cool and sexy to be like a rock star and like you know you're getting i don't

00:20:12.140 know living like this fabulous lifestyle make comedy is so hard it's like gut-wrenching it's soul

00:20:17.540 sucking and it's not glamorous yeah at all a little so i hope that that will fade i don't know what the

00:20:24.440 next thing will be but i think comedy is just like the thing right now that's actually such a good point

00:20:29.000 and i feel like like you said with the access to social media like gives people especially if they're

00:20:34.060 able to grow followings it it gives people this like false sense of of like perspective it's like

00:20:40.560 oh well all of these people online which is so funny because i have resisted stand-up for so long

00:20:45.280 not and i love stand i've loved stand-up for years that's been like my favorite art form for a very long

00:20:49.960 time because i love making people laugh so i i love comedians i've been following many forever that's

00:20:55.140 why i love your stuff too and i remember like telling my team i'm like i just don't want to find out

00:21:01.300 the hard way that i'm i can't do that like i'm not funny that way because i understand that it

00:21:06.640 doesn't always translate like you can make people laugh behind a camera but that's also because you

00:21:10.500 don't have anyone live with you and you also don't have any strangers listening to you so you're one of

00:21:15.700 our bravest soldiers i i i have seen so many people make the jump or what's even crazier is when they

00:21:22.360 they are failed stand-ups who then become online online personalities the amount of stand-up i've seen

00:21:28.280 go terribly at a live show that then becomes a front-facing camera video talking straight to

00:21:33.040 camera i'm like and then it does well and it gets two million likes i mean look if there's people out

00:21:39.000 there enjoying it but so you've never tried stand-up i have actually i've done i've done one type five i

00:21:44.160 did it for caleb perfect yeah i opened for caleb and chris fleming okay which is so funny because i

00:21:49.840 was like that at the largo absolute icons right yeah when i tell other people that story they're like

00:21:55.560 what the fuck like that's great and i was like i was very intimidated obviously and i told caleb

00:22:00.640 and chris too that that was the scariest thing i've ever done doing this for a living and i've

00:22:05.800 i don't care about talking live i don't care about i don't get stage right i never get any of that

00:22:10.560 yeah but that shit i was like losing sleep over i was so nervous like well it has an effect on the

00:22:15.240 body right live performance is nature's laxative i've always said that it will just like fear dump it'll

00:22:21.060 chew up your insides right and then you have to expel it um but that's that's like a type five

00:22:26.660 perfect you could ride that for years yeah that's and i could tour that right that's what my man don't

00:22:31.980 say that my manager's here and he's gonna he's gonna be like i told you i told you he's probably

00:22:36.060 laughing right now um but what's funny about that is like i was so nervous because i love stand-up

00:22:42.220 so much and i was like if i go out there and nobody laughs first of all i'm gonna shoot myself

00:22:48.120 on stage never happen that's the only way i'm gonna do it yeah i'm going out either one of us

00:22:52.740 either you laugh or something terrible something or i'm gonna change the course of your life

00:22:55.880 what's that changing everybody's lives in this room right now we're all going together but you

00:23:00.120 know what's funny right and you know i think joke structure is like if you are an intelligent

00:23:05.340 person and you watch a lot of comedy yeah you can write a joke you can write jokes it's like

00:23:09.800 you notice the different types of jokes and how you can like plug your idea into that yeah um so

00:23:14.700 i'm sure you did amazing it was a good starter for me because i was like i also want to because

00:23:19.560 caleb asked me like oh do you want me to promote it for you like say that you're going to be there

00:23:22.760 and honestly i told him no and i was like no i wanted i just want to find out if i'm funny i want

00:23:27.960 to tell the jokes because like if i go like my fans might go which is great i believe them they find

00:23:32.440 me funny but i want to go in front of strangers like an audience that's not mine right just to really

00:23:36.900 see if like you know people will laugh and he was like i admire that about you i think that's great

00:23:41.680 and i was like well i told you my backup plan if nobody laughs so exactly and the blood would be on

00:23:46.280 his hands yeah yeah plausible deniability there's that thing of like when stand-ups get so popular

00:23:51.500 that like anytime they pause on stage people will just laugh and it's not it's harder i think to

00:23:57.280 work out material at that point yeah i luckily i'm not there yet yeah i still have to go up there and

00:24:01.920 and try things but yeah it's a it's an insane thing to do i'd say it's deranged it's a product

00:24:07.080 of mental illness and i regret it i regret it every day but it brought me here spotify hq right with

00:24:15.020 you the spotify hq in this in our library with all of our favorite books we look so scholarly and

00:24:21.360 well read i mean from the classic car book to the nba at 50 i mean the rolling stones unzipped

00:24:28.340 wimbledon we just read all the titles yeah you know what's funny is my book's not back there

00:24:32.440 oh so i'm gonna head out you it sounds like a personal issue um yeah it's gonna be speaking of

00:24:42.380 guns reach under my chair everybody has one it would get a lot of views it would get a lot of views

00:24:49.580 do you have a gun no me neither yeah but some people do right i mean it's not for me yeah i don't

00:24:57.020 i think we should have abolished guns in general but sometimes women i i talk to they're like no

00:25:01.500 it's so powerful to go to a gun range and shoot a gun i just have no desire to do that me i just

00:25:06.080 there's i'd rather get my i'd rather get a root canal than do that just no i'd rather get a pap

00:25:11.140 smear yeah oh my god yes any day of the week right yeah perhaps i was explaining a pap smear

00:25:16.200 the other day to someone i don't remember who it was and or why we were talking about that but i was

00:25:20.840 like explaining what it was and they were like what it's a shocking practice it is and now we

00:25:27.660 have to go less i guess like the new guidelines you go every few years but yeah to put your feet

00:25:32.620 in stirrups just as an idea is completely insane yeah that's unfair to me that they built they're

00:25:38.780 like for that right so you're scooching down to the edge of the table and then they but they pry

00:25:43.480 your vagina open right with the speculum and then they try to ask you what are your plans after high

00:25:47.440 school right and you're like um i'm kind of busy right now i don't want to talk about it it's kind

00:25:53.340 of hard for me to think yeah have you ever had a colposcopy because that's a pap smear next that's

00:25:58.100 the next step in the pap smear journey well you are a lot older than me i'm i'm 100 years old um

00:26:03.580 no it's if you have an abnormal pap smear then you have to get a colposcopy where they and i hate

00:26:07.800 to say this scrape oh yeah and then they send it in to be tested being a woman is it's a lot it is a

00:26:16.220 lot having uterus in general is a lot i i was telling my cousin adam the other day about how

00:26:21.180 like when you're on your period sometimes it's easier to just sit on the toilet and free bleed

00:26:26.340 into it and because it's so painful to wear tampons or underwear or anything so you just sit there and

00:26:30.740 bleed and just i just kind of chill and it's the pressure of it as well which i guess is what

00:26:35.500 contractions feel like i haven't given birth yet but that's what i have come to understand and that

00:26:41.240 sounds really scary i know i've i've told him he's like what do you mean just bleed and i was like it's

00:26:45.960 like you just let it out yeah it's pain it's more painful to have something in there and i'd rather

00:26:50.540 just like you know it's like the top of the ketchup bottle we were just kind of like right yeah you hit

00:26:56.160 the 57 right um you get that little juice first and then the cut oh yeah yeah that's what that is

00:27:02.300 the yeah the globs really in a lot of ways i think it's so funny when they like there's a video i don't

00:27:08.180 remember who i heard this from actually or if it was like a viral thing but it was like what's the

00:27:11.080 funniest misconception your boyfriend has about periods right and there was one person that said

00:27:15.420 their boyfriend thought you just put the tampon and then you take it out like you just put it you

00:27:19.520 just dip it in it gets the stuff well it's like testing the pH of a pool exactly the water hardness

00:27:25.680 i just love the innocence of that the pure innocence to be like oh yeah you just put it in take it out

00:27:31.000 and you're done just yeah forget it's single use it's fine um i love that and whoever you were

00:27:37.320 talking to about pap smears they can now take that knowledge out into the world there you go

00:27:41.300 just a little like a little tester a little tester straw yeah to make sure there's no lead in your

00:27:47.080 water that's awesome i don't think my i don't think my fiancee had any misconceptions about it i did tell

00:27:52.240 him about like period poops which are like just basically diarrhea i mean that's a whole other thing

00:27:57.520 yeah on your period which is like again not a choice it's just kind of what happens no matter what

00:28:02.100 you eat doesn't matter it feels yeah it's like putting a hat on a hat right it's like i didn't

00:28:07.260 eat all this period was enough yeah that's the headline and that was great right but then you

00:28:12.500 have there's an encore right and that is a non-negotiable part of mine unfortunately are

00:28:17.540 you do you have an iud or anything no okay i'm on the pill i'm rocking that the iud and it's the

00:28:22.480 hormonal one low dose and i know everyone's journey with iud's is different this one has been great for

00:28:28.520 me and i don't get my period okay but my boobs still get swollen once a month how cool is that

00:28:33.020 like i love it they're swollen right now this is me i'm happy at my best i'm happy for you thanks

00:28:39.040 yeah mine when mine like mine do like grow on my period obviously but mine i already i'm packing

00:28:45.320 heat on my chest you asked me if i have a gun no no but on my chest two cannons yep cannons holy

00:28:50.800 shit i mean i can so not to bring this up you're wearing a sheer turtleneck with the leather over it

00:28:55.620 yes you it's a cool look yes it's a cool vibe i can only see a whisper right see but it's professional

00:29:01.640 when mine swell like i've said this before i'm like if i had small tits like the world would open

00:29:07.440 up for me fashion wise because like nipples showing small tits like no bra when you're when

00:29:13.020 they're small it's like oh chic fashion with mine it's like you know it's very medicinal okay it's

00:29:19.940 very wet nurse it's very like national geographic yeah it's like i need to study them right you know

00:29:24.960 it's not like it's biology right it's not sexual instead of tits they become mammaries even

00:29:31.820 which is cool i've never so i would probably give up my first born to have big boobs really i'm not

00:29:39.720 going to get implants i've decided but i all i wanted since i was a kid was just huge knockers

00:29:45.220 really and any particular reason or you just feel drawn to them i just love them i think they're

00:29:49.980 beautiful and i just thought since my mom had big boobs my oldest sister had big boobs i was like

00:29:54.880 well i'm next and i never got them and god made you funny instead i know and if i had boobs i

00:30:00.920 wouldn't have i would have never told a joke in my whole life i think about that a lot how my life

00:30:05.560 would be different if i had big ones i think i'd probably have like 12 kids and i would live not

00:30:10.660 in a city no definitely not in a city so it's for the best but you'd be mormon probably i would be i

00:30:15.920 would definitely be religious in some way because i would have you know him to think right but now

00:30:22.240 you're mad at him so you became a comic yeah i did and i'm speaking hard truths but yeah there is

00:30:27.900 that thing of like oh yeah you could show nipple with small boobs or whatever i don't know i just

00:30:31.840 wish i had big ones right i feel like mine it's like across to bear i i i don't mind them but

00:30:38.480 sometimes in tops i'm like damn but also like my fitness goals are like they're not goals but like

00:30:45.340 i've always recently i'm like i want to look like the rock from behind oh that's topless my favorite

00:30:51.280 actor right i'm not kidding if i i'll see anything he's in i believe i've seen baywatch and i've

00:30:56.440 shown baywatch to so many people i've seen baywatch five times it's a fabulous movie have you ever

00:31:00.980 seen hobbs and shaw no okay well clearly not a big fan of the rock what is this it's like a fast

00:31:06.480 and the furious spinoff okay so but it's the rock and jason statham and my second favorite actor

00:31:13.060 i'm not he's a but i always imagine that it's jason statham in the movie right it's not a character

00:31:19.100 yeah he's playing it's the actor who's married to rosie huntington whiteley yeah yeah in that

00:31:23.040 that's him that's not a character yeah i kind of like the rock yeah he's playing the rock he's

00:31:26.840 playing the rock which i love and i think he's great at i think he's mastered it and we my it was

00:31:32.360 like me and my sister and my fiancee and like our little brother we like went to go watch hobbs and

00:31:37.820 shaw we actually wanted to watch a different movie but it was sold out so we were like i guess we'll

00:31:41.360 see this one what was it can i ask what the other movie was i don't remember i need to know that's to

00:31:46.900 me to picture the story i just want to know well i'll honestly i remember around the the year that

00:31:52.360 we went so i'm gonna have to get up yeah i'm literally gonna look at you know i would just be

00:31:56.120 curious but we were like i guess we'll see hobbs and shaw i was laughing my ass off and i've shown

00:32:02.320 at least five people that movie and not everybody laughs you know i'm gonna watch it so that makes

00:32:07.040 six you should see it i just think like a blockbuster that feeds the soul to me a blockbuster with a few

00:32:13.740 laughs in it some action i love the rock shirtless right some high stakes i'm in my i'm sat i'm seated

00:32:21.120 have you ever gone to those movie the movie theaters with like the interactive seats uh i did

00:32:26.720 at disney i went to the bugs life ride that's as close as i've ever gotten i remember what's that

00:32:31.080 like when they sneeze on you yeah and the bugs crawl out under your butt that's a great ride that is you

00:32:36.800 know what that's so funny that is an interactive movie experience it really was you're so right um

00:32:41.320 have you as an adult yeah we went we saw deadpool the most recent deadpool in like a 4dx

00:32:47.540 so it's not like the one that like really shakes you because what we wanted to see was twister

00:32:53.000 like that glenn powell thoughts on him so i i didn't get it for a long time and then something

00:32:59.900 something switched in me and i thought you know what i am willing to accept him as a movie star

00:33:04.640 and that's been huge for my personal growth he seems like a nice guy can i just say you're ready

00:33:09.380 to accept glenn paul as your lord and savior as a movie and my lord and savior you're ready to

00:33:13.980 accept him in your heart as your lord and savior yeah my heart is open to glenn paul i guess we say

00:33:17.920 the sinner's prayer but specifically for glenn paul for a few i liked him in set it up then i saw

00:33:24.000 maverick that was good i've seen a few of his films and you know he's no the rock right he's no

00:33:29.440 doing the rock johnson but as far as like a heartthrob goes sure right i guess who am i to say

00:33:36.940 exactly right i watched twister at my parents house i didn't get to do any 40 stuff well i saw people

00:33:42.380 just getting thrashed in the theaters so we were like we should go watch twister but like that

00:33:46.600 and then they were sold out everywhere girl you gotta buy tickets in advance and we were on tour

00:33:52.820 like for a month so we were going across we checked in every city we went to 22 cities we went and

00:33:58.060 checked in every city it was sold out every night and we were like what the hell like across volumes a

00:34:03.220 woman of color right can't get a 40 and misogyny on top of that it's completely insane right how is a

00:34:09.040 40 deadpool because i just imagine ryan reynolds being there in all the 40 theaters it was fun because

00:34:14.540 it wasn't as i think intense as there's like a more intense version of watching movies like that

00:34:20.200 but it would just shake at certain points or like if something explosion went off it would shake again

00:34:25.220 it was just like was it additive did you feel no i felt like i honestly forgot about it okay but the

00:34:31.440 best part was the fact that you could like recline like open the legs oh that's my favorite i can't

00:34:36.820 really go to the movies i have a bad shoulder so i can't go to the movies unless it reclines i just

00:34:40.860 can't sit still for that long my shoulder to hear that it's really bad it's really fucked up i saw

00:34:47.100 smile too that's the most recent movie theater how was that wow i can't say enough good things about

00:34:52.240 it really the first smile i loved i screamed spooks and scares and then this one was just like they

00:34:57.800 could have really phoned in a sequel and instead they made a movie about a pop star who's falling on

00:35:02.440 hard times fabulous have you seen it are you a higher person no i'm honestly i'm genuinely a huge

00:35:10.200 scaredy cat of shit like that so if i watch a scary movie i have to be like mentally prepared

00:35:14.800 yeah otherwise it sticks with me like i think the last scary no that's not true i've seen other scary

00:35:20.080 movies but like one of the last ones i saw in theaters was hereditary and i went in with no

00:35:25.340 knowledge i had no idea what it's gonna be yeah and it was my stupid sister's fault who's right here

00:35:30.100 by the way wow and she said i want to go see this movie come see it with me and i said is it

00:35:34.560 is it scary because it sounds like hereditary it's a family yeah it's all about family it's a story

00:35:39.380 about love and loss and and was she did she lie and then when we were in like i think we were probably

00:35:47.440 30 minutes in and i told her i said how much longer is there i'm scared and that's the last time you ever

00:35:54.520 spoke i could see hereditary dividing families right i made my family watch um midsummer day

00:36:01.500 after christmas a few years ago right and i definitely i after christmas holiday movie it was

00:36:07.100 a holiday flick and i definitely um i got some angry responses i mean people walked out but i love it

00:36:15.380 it's such a good movie and that was the last time you were allowed to suggest a christmas movie i haven't

00:36:18.600 been home since miss my parents i love my i actually came on here to just say mom dad if you're

00:36:25.080 watching i miss you guys please let me come home are you a big horror person do you like scary movies

00:36:30.600 i love scary movies my first horror movie i really loved was the ring okay and i think since then it

00:36:36.880 just like for whatever reason that movie just ripped off the band-aid of like any of this could

00:36:41.140 happen in real life like i stopped thinking that way so i could watch any horror movie and just

00:36:47.020 enjoy it right um so i i'm a bit of a horror movie junkie i had a big spooktober last year

00:36:51.960 okay but what i do is i watch horror movies in the middle of the day and as a freelancer i have the

00:36:56.880 flexibility to do that and it takes away a lot of the like scary elements of it right watching talk to

00:37:02.540 me in my apartment at noon i wasn't scared at all i don't know what was wrong what's wrong with the

00:37:08.900 rest of you but i wasn't shaken i don't know maybe try something different maybe i'm just better than

00:37:14.340 everyone i don't know yeah i don't i feel like i i talked to someone recently that said oh i think

00:37:18.500 it was my agent alex she was saying she'll watch them on planes because there's a lot of people

00:37:22.420 around so it's not as scary quiet place is a fabulous plane watch any of them any of them one

00:37:27.820 time i put on a movie and the person next to me is watching quiet place 2 i had i turned off what i

00:37:32.140 was watching i was completely enthralled with the movie no need for my tv no i'm gonna watch with

00:37:36.440 this guy i watched with him and that man is my husband so yeah i love him i watched the invisible

00:37:44.840 man was it that was a weird one it was very strange i watched that on a plane and i remember

00:37:50.340 me and my fiancee we're sitting next to each other and we watched it at the same time so we like

00:37:54.100 started it at the same time which was fun i think that's a fun movie going experience yeah

00:37:59.180 you're watching and then you're like yeah to each other yeah mid you know what's funny is speaking

00:38:03.700 watching movies on planes one time we were flying somewhere and my boyfriend was on the aisle i was

00:38:09.000 in the middle and there was an older woman to my right when i say older i mean like 60s right

00:38:14.140 she had a giant ipad and she put it in the little holder and i said tea queen sorry that's that's

00:38:20.880 living good yeah she came prepared and she did she have stuff downloaded yeah she did and she had her

00:38:26.420 like neck pillow on like she had her whole setup and then she watched i saw because obviously the ipad is

00:38:32.960 32 inches so i i saw clearly that she was watching crazy rich asians love that movie one of my favorite

00:38:37.900 movies and a great plane movie i've probably seen that 10 times and if it's on a plane i'm watching

00:38:42.860 it right it's escapism right and i love that she was you know appreciating that the culture the lore

00:38:49.380 of crazy rich asians right i would like a sequel right me too personally so she's watching crazy rich

00:38:54.320 asians and i'm like okay queen get into it and so she's watching and then i look over and it's the

00:39:00.300 part it's like the one of the first i think it's the first time you see henry golding shirtless

00:39:05.040 it's like when they first get there and they're like oh it's like implied that they're you know

00:39:09.940 they pan to the fireplace they're gonna do they're gonna do um what's it called um they're gonna go

00:39:14.500 to pound town they're gonna do bam bam yeah someone's gonna take them to pound town someone's

00:39:19.640 taking someone to pound town they're both visiting together yes and so he's like leaning on the

00:39:25.060 doorframe like shirtless right and i'm like okay and i the only reason i remember that's the part

00:39:30.040 she was watching is because the rest of the plane ride she rewinded that one part shut up i'm not

00:39:36.300 kidding and i at to a point where i was like i was watching her do it because i wanted to make sure

00:39:41.480 she was still doing it but again brightness all the way up of course on a 32 inch flat screen right

00:39:47.700 there and she's just going like this and then she's watching it again well here's my thing with

00:39:51.680 movies you can stop whenever you want yeah you can end the story wherever you want that's why i only

00:39:55.920 watch atonement up to the library scene and then i turn it off close it so you could just it's just

00:40:00.760 a short film about about that character she's watching youtube shorts exactly i think it's

00:40:05.240 your movie going experience you create the movie going experience you deserve right i i love that she

00:40:10.800 did that on a plane because it's not private and i still think about her to this day and that plane

00:40:16.220 ride five hours we went to we went to hawaii so we were flying from la to hawaii and five hours like

00:40:22.480 literally five sometimes five and a half hours depending on the dead stream right so she didn't

00:40:26.760 she didn't watch movies trade wins they play a role she didn't watch any movies really until like

00:40:32.200 hour two after she had her meal she had her snacks then she sets up her whole thing and she said time

00:40:38.360 to watch my favorite show but what can set in flight entertainment what confused me was watching the

00:40:44.420 movie all the way up until that point and then never watching the rest i would want to know what

00:40:49.060 happened but more respect to her i mean who knows what what she had been going through right and i and

00:40:54.840 i i so many times that i i literally tapped my fiance and i was we were both watching her watch that

00:41:01.340 yeah a million times and then afterwards like she when she got tired she just locked it and she

00:41:06.120 then she woke up unlocked it no i swear to god i still think about her all the time i wonder i hope

00:41:12.660 she's doing well i hope she's doing i wonder if she's still in hawaii maybe she is living her best

00:41:17.360 life with henry golding with henry we can only hope i can only help henry golding i hope you found

00:41:21.140 your best fan i do think you should live laugh love and dance like no one's watching on planes

00:41:25.280 like you should do like it's you're never gonna see those people again right i mean with like

00:41:30.700 obviously be respectful right but i feel like planes are like a safe space that's a place for you to just

00:41:36.240 kind of do what you let your what you need to do flag fly because you're in the air international

00:41:42.140 waters sometimes martial law up in the sky up in the sky what's the craziest thing that's happened

00:41:48.120 to you on a flight like a random oh well i was flying to seattle a few weeks ago for my tour

00:41:54.320 and uh i was sexually harassed by the man next to me really yeah which has been happening more and

00:42:00.320 more since i dyed my hair blonde uh i went blonde for work not more fun more sexual harassment more

00:42:05.720 sexual harassment so i've been dealing with that a bit more but i have a laptop okay i know women

00:42:10.700 are allowed to get them now so i have a laptop with stickers on it because i want to make it my own

00:42:14.900 and i have a sticker that i used to sell that says i only sleep with socialists so that's a sticker on

00:42:20.460 my laptop and this guy next to me who then i later saw watching trump rallies okay on his ipad

00:42:25.920 not 32 inches because he's a fucking cheapskate he was he goes uh first of all he sits down he's

00:42:32.580 like how are you blah blah blah fine i have my headphones in a talker he then is asking me oh

00:42:37.540 do you wear headphones so no one will talk to you well clearly it's not working so then he goes can i

00:42:43.580 ask you about your stickers i was like mm-hmm and he's like is this one true and i was like i was like

00:42:52.420 it's that it's uh interpretive i just wanted to end the conversation like i don't know you you're

00:42:56.740 like 65 you're weird you're like ugly and your face is like really red you know how republicans

00:43:02.360 are all really red yeah face because they're so mad yeah um like a couch in your grandparents house

00:43:07.480 exactly and i was just like i need you to stop looking at me and so then um he was then like is

00:43:13.880 it true like do you really he just kept wanting to talk to me about the sticker that's like so

00:43:17.440 inappropriate and i don't know you yeah and then i turned he just like kept asking me then i turned

00:43:22.100 on i watched vogue beauty secrets for five hours because they have them on delta i watched so i

00:43:26.340 think i watched 20 of them and he kept trying to he kept looking over at my screen to see what i was

00:43:31.580 watching and shaking his head and then at one point he tapped me he's like this isn't very socialist

00:43:36.060 i was like vogue beauty secrets i don't think they're politically affiliated i don't think it's

00:43:42.100 anything but beauty secrets it's beauty secrets let's not make it anything more than it is

00:43:46.580 and then he kept trying to talk to me during during the flight and i kept not taking my headphones out

00:43:51.720 then i was scared to get up to pee because i didn't want to interact with him i was in the

00:43:55.040 window seat yeah and so then he got up to pee so i quickly got up to pee and i told the guy next

00:43:59.460 in the aisle i need to pee while he's up because he's being so weird with me and just making me

00:44:03.660 uncomfortable and he kept like you know moving his leg a little bit closer and stuff like that

00:44:07.740 so this guy i mean bless his heart he was just trying to help but when i came back from the

00:44:11.720 bathroom he was like do you want me to switch seats with the guy and i was like i think that's

00:44:15.380 gonna just draw more attention to it and i was trying to be especially at this point yeah we

00:44:19.180 were like four hours in the flight yeah and the guy starts walking back as this guy's asking me if

00:44:23.140 he i'm like just shut up please leave me alone no i forgot saying anything yeah um so that was

00:44:27.740 uncomfortable and i guess i haven't i felt like i was like backed into a corner quite literally yeah and

00:44:33.440 that was so that was weird and bad that's horrifying it was weird and bad it was a weird and bad

00:44:37.420 thing that happened and it's awful because it's like what do you do like you can be rude yeah but

00:44:43.380 then you got to sit there for four and a half more hours right yeah which is like that's like

00:44:47.780 a battle you have to be willing to pick and it's like unless it's outright flagrant i'm not going to

00:44:53.400 pick it just depending on circumstance right oh and by the way it was it was 5 30 in the morning

00:44:57.440 nice so how how is your brain already operating on that level how are you sexually harassing

00:45:03.660 someone before 6 a.m it's it's honestly it's impressive yeah but i thought about going to

00:45:08.600 your eyes creep i'm like you know what okay i'll bite yes i only sleep with socialists yeah um i

00:45:14.300 almost went to talk to the flight attendants to see if we could switch seats or something but

00:45:17.440 i feel like you're either going to get a flight attendant who's really nice and puts you in

00:45:20.620 first class where there's one open seat or you're going to get someone that's like wants to kill you

00:45:24.580 and ultimately makes it worse and comes over to ask the guy get out of my fucking face immediately if

00:45:29.100 you don't back the fuck off right now i'm like i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry no but my worst nightmare

00:45:33.300 would be like the person comes over to talk to the guy and say like you're making this woman

00:45:37.220 uncomfortable no tell him tell him how you want him to kill me yeah tell him tell him what you told

00:45:41.780 me back there secretly to his face yeah what you told me in confidence because i'm a gay male flight

00:45:46.640 attendant you thought you could trust me why don't we just run that back quickly yeah go ahead tell him

00:45:50.800 literally don't be afraid tell him no and i was afraid and i didn't tell him well i'm sorry that

00:45:56.500 fucking happened that's fucking awful did he try to talk to you after the flight he was like is this

00:46:00.360 your pink bag i was like i got it it's fine yeah don't come near me yeah and i just ran i ran yeah

00:46:06.100 i did my new york walk right off right off the plane and then all he saw was dust all he saw was

00:46:10.760 dust i said enjoy the view never gonna see this again last you're ever gonna see me i'm sure

00:46:15.860 something fun has happened on a plane i just can't think of it honestly i have a story kind of similar

00:46:20.040 to yours happening now which is crime sexually harassing you yeah yes but i was at like um a photo shoot

00:46:26.580 right but there's a whole bunch of people there so including my team and everything right and it

00:46:31.340 was a photographer and he first of all when i got there like when i went down and they were like oh

00:46:38.660 we're ready to shoot you because they're shooting many people at the same time so they're like oh it's

00:46:41.660 your turn and so i go and he's like i can't work in these conditions that's like my impression of him

00:46:48.200 totally which is like really like self-important and to me pitch perfect because i'm imagining this guy

00:46:53.900 i'm seeing it so it's very like i could never i can't shoot in this lighting like that's like if

00:46:58.940 i looked over too fast he'd have a brion totally you know and so he was like as soon as he saw me

00:47:04.560 he was like you're drew and i go yeah and then he goes welcome like it's almost like it just flipped

00:47:12.260 like it immediately turned into a big creep uh and so then at first it started off kind of like

00:47:17.800 yeah you look great you look so yeah you look great like okay right which i know photographers

00:47:23.400 will be like beautiful they'll gas you up it's part of the vibe and you know how sometimes

00:47:27.060 if photographers are like recording you or taking pictures of you if they want to adjust something

00:47:32.020 and there's no one around because sometimes they'll be like can someone please fix hair can

00:47:35.340 someone please fix your shirt um they'll be like do you mind if i touch you that's what i've been asked

00:47:40.020 many times by men women anyone right and so i'm like yeah that's fine but he never asked me and so

00:47:45.720 like in the beginning he wasn't really coming near me but i already i just i like to think i can smell

00:47:51.360 a dude like that like a drug dog like i'm like yeah like i'm being walked in the airport in a

00:47:57.460 circle right there before tsa yeah and they're like just walk through it's fine he's not gonna do

00:48:01.320 anything like that's me with creepy guys i am the same i'm the same and i just know my it's my skin

00:48:08.100 is crawling and i just i'm like like alarms going off same but sometimes yeah you just it's like

00:48:14.180 circumstance yeah so like and then we move to the next location which involves him being a lot

00:48:19.260 closer to me whereas before he had to shoot me behind a table and so then when i'm like standing

00:48:24.280 there he's like so like what's your thing and i go what do you mean uh he goes like you know why

00:48:31.520 you're here and then i go i make fun of awful men on the internet and then he goes no seriously

00:48:38.820 also mind you this guy's in his 50s so why are you talking to me like we're the same age we're not

00:48:43.820 no not the same age no i you were in college and i wasn't even born yet i wasn't even conceived yet

00:48:48.600 you weren't even a twinkle in your mother's eye yeah yeah yeah you were literally filing single form

00:48:54.140 tax forms w-2s so then he's talking to me and he's like i tell him and then he goes they said

00:49:00.600 something like you have a podcast i go yeah that's one of the things i do and then he goes if i was on

00:49:05.580 your podcast what would you and i talk about ew and i'm dead like like a child like i was like this is

00:49:11.340 so juvenile and i'm at least 50 years younger than you also he's at work hey buddy you have a

00:49:17.300 job to do take the damn picture yeah and so he's like what would we talk about and then i go i don't

00:49:22.020 know probably creepy photographers do you know a lot about those and then it's awkward like and the

00:49:27.500 only person there is my cousin adam who does my hair and makeup and he was facing me because he was

00:49:31.820 like i hated that guy so much i felt like i had to stand there the whole time because otherwise he

00:49:35.760 just kept trying to get closer to me closer to me whatever and so i was like probably creepy

00:49:38.840 photographers do you know anything about that and then we were just making eye contact and he goes

00:49:42.740 yeah you know that does you know that does happen and now that i'm looking at these lights you know

00:49:49.020 what like actually guys can we and he just turned around and i was like oh crazy i don't want to talk

00:49:53.000 anymore fucking weirdo i would not want to be on the other end of of you in that interact you know

00:49:57.980 what i mean like just eviscerate the guy like that's i i mean so many situations you feel like you

00:50:04.180 can't say anything so i am wow that's well done you probably made him feel bad for two minutes

00:50:11.140 which is more than maybe anyone else has ever done ever done ever in his life also married he had a

00:50:16.560 wedding ring on and mentioned he had kids multiple times i was like oh love that love that too and then

00:50:21.640 i told i was like telling my my family and my team i'm like you're really lucky that i'm at work

00:50:27.320 yeah because if you caught me as a civilian and you were acting like this forget it different well

00:50:32.660 so what are you in that situation like did you tell the people that put the photo shoot together

00:50:37.180 like yeah i told my family and and my team and my team insisted on telling them and i was like that's

00:50:41.980 fine i don't care if you tell them i don't mind at all that's and it's one of those where like it

00:50:46.360 was too much like it's just you're you're pushing it and you're gonna make me turn into the incredible

00:50:50.600 hulk and when i do that i wake up naked in a ditch dead bodies all around all your clothes are

00:50:55.940 tattered right and then well that's very empowering because i think a lot of people one wouldn't say

00:51:00.820 anything in the moment and then two you it's sort of you know it fizzles and you just decide i'm not

00:51:04.980 going to say anything but what does that accomplish i just think it's like it's hard there is still

00:51:09.640 that thing of like well i don't want to be the one that complained yeah but i i think like we need to

00:51:14.340 try to shed that a little bit and i'm speaking as someone that doesn't all the time right like

00:51:18.440 people will be creeps to me and i'm like whatever it's like it's over yeah for me but that's bad i need we

00:51:23.460 need to like be protecting other women absolutely well and i i think too it's like it is a testament

00:51:28.900 to the workforce too because a lot of times when it happens at work like even i like someone like

00:51:34.380 myself who if given the opportunity i would have swung sure but like let's obviously we're in a

00:51:39.840 different context so i can't do that and even i was like hesitating to really say what i wanted to

00:51:44.800 say because of what i was shooting it was very big and very important so that's why i was like i don't

00:51:49.300 want to look unprofessional but i don't deserve to be treated like this but they're being

00:51:53.580 unprofessional yeah exactly that's what's so frustrating about it right he didn't even realize

00:51:57.160 how he was just setting you up to alley-oop he's like what we talk about on the podcast you're like

00:52:01.980 i have some ideas yeah that's yeah kind of as good as it could go right that's why i'm like that's how

00:52:08.520 i'll handle it now but also i'm like you're lucky you caught me when i'm about to be 30 because

00:52:12.960 in my late teens early 20s i was insane for lack of a better sort of reactive yeah no i was very

00:52:22.100 reactive and i was very physical like i i didn't really spend a lot of time talking when men were

00:52:26.600 being like that what did you do oh i've i've fought many i've fought men before but it doesn't really go

00:52:31.640 that far because as soon as they see i'm like for real as soon as they see all of a sudden you look

00:52:36.380 like the rock from the back and they're like fuck i said you're not intimidated by me take off my top

00:52:40.960 turn around different story wow at that point that's cool that's awesome i've only slapped a

00:52:47.320 guy once and it's one of the best things i ever did oh that's good it was cool how he deserved it

00:52:52.120 it felt good yeah um i was drunken in college so that's why i felt emboldened to do that but

00:52:58.000 love that's the only physical i got punched in the chest too in college once because i made out with a

00:53:02.600 girl's crush who was on my so i was on a water polo team with a girl and we both we both had a crush on

00:53:07.840 the same guy she said it out loud first okay and then i made out with him for 20 minutes in his

00:53:12.360 dorm he never spoke to me again but she punched me in the chest damn so that was a that was an l i

00:53:17.800 took an l that day big l yeah and i was just like ow why the chest why'd you do that i don't know i

00:53:23.240 think i think it even surprised her that she did it but imagine you guys just became best friends

00:53:29.340 after that we were still friends that's good we're still on the same you know we were playing water

00:53:33.060 polo and we had to let bygones be bygones but it's tough when in matters of the heart were you

00:53:38.800 good at water polo i was pretty good i was better at defense than offense my throwing arm is a little

00:53:44.100 weak but um yeah boston college had a club team and i played as a team as well i love that yeah it was

00:53:50.200 fun it felt like very a very california thing to do right um my family's like in the water sports we

00:53:56.700 are bad at land sports oh okay um so we are water water different story get it yeah so swimming water

00:54:02.620 polo i guess there was some hockey and tennis in there too but yeah water polo was kind of the only

00:54:07.100 sport i wasn't terrible at that's cool though water polo is fucking hard it's really hard and it's

00:54:11.660 vicious yeah it's kind of cool though i think it's a place where women really like they let their

00:54:17.300 animalistic instincts kick in right and they are like beating each other up in the water

00:54:21.820 no that's why i said it's like insane you have to have short nails they do a nail check because you

00:54:26.240 could scratch people yeah the amount of times hands were inside my bathing suit pulling me down

00:54:31.280 but it's like it makes you feel alive right you're releasing all of it yeah yeah i i it's funny you

00:54:37.560 brought up water polo that's one of the few sports that i like genuinely i couldn't do like because i

00:54:43.380 grew up an athlete i played a lot of different sports but like water polo my mom just randomly was

00:54:48.780 like hey i think i think i want you guys you guys should try out for water polo mind you my sister and

00:54:53.560 i land sports totally right so like we've never done water nothing wrong with that i i'm at this

00:54:59.100 point in my life i know for a fact like am i a strong swimmer no but am i am i a leisure swim yes

00:55:06.080 like i love a leisure swim but i don't want it to feel like i signed up for like a decathlon or

00:55:13.300 that you're fighting for your life yeah like i don't want to feel like a coast guard i want to feel

00:55:19.060 like i'm on vacation yeah right so i my sister and i were like okay like and so she goes yeah we

00:55:25.840 have a pool i'm like well i'm sure there's a lot of other things you should know before

00:55:29.680 yeah and she goes it's tomorrow oh okay um no for sure and so me and my sister were we're just

00:55:36.540 practicing in the pool like we're doing the little like egg beater thing right to stay above

00:55:41.280 i couldn't do it and my parents were like okay perfect let's go to the trial so we go the next day

00:55:48.720 and before you even get to the water polo part they make you swim like up and down four times but

00:55:55.560 up and down is one yeah right didn't know that part either like i said not a very strong swimmer

00:56:00.980 so we're swimming these laps and like i get so gassed i didn't even finish like the first pass of the

00:56:09.320 first lap i start walking but then i'm like moving my arms and then they're like no walking no

00:56:15.780 walking like as soon as i got to the part where i could walk i start walking i'm like i'm not

00:56:18.800 walking i'm standing fully up and then they're on the ground and i still did all four at a snail's

00:56:25.240 pace like i think they were almost done with the trial by the time i finished it was over yeah yeah

00:56:28.340 and then they send us home like they didn't even let us get to the water polo part they were like i

00:56:32.880 think you should go home and i said okay then to make matters worse i drank so much pool water on

00:56:39.080 accident that i got so violently ill you can drown from that yeah oh yeah well i kind of wish i did

00:56:45.520 because that was honestly humiliating so like they sent me home and they said you guys can still have

00:56:50.380 these though and we had water polo shirts with the club name on it i bet they're kind of swaggy

00:56:55.420 though they weren't really yeah we actually did i had them for years i think i threw it out when i

00:56:59.560 went to college but they sent us home early they were like you should go home they said the best

00:57:03.920 thing that we could do for all of us is if you guys left because not only can you not swim but

00:57:08.960 you might actually make other people worse yeah water polo yeah they're like watching you is kind

00:57:13.000 of like watching an old dog eat breakfast and that's kind of a bummer they call that a good coach

00:57:16.960 right and if you're good at land sports why put yourself through that water sports are so brutal

00:57:22.180 it's like you're getting wet you're getting you're cold you're in the people are peeing in the pool it's

00:57:27.000 like you're kicking each other it's it's a lot yeah and if you're better at land so what was like

00:57:31.140 your big sport soccer honestly that's so sexy not to objectify soccer players but soccer is just

00:57:39.300 i mean it's like i think it's a beautiful sport right so much more beautiful to me than football

00:57:44.380 right which feels crass and damaging physically well yes to all of that yeah yeah and also like

00:57:51.280 no one gives a fuck about football outside of us like in the u.s yeah not us and even i don't

00:57:57.160 that's what's crazy about it one of the funniest jokes my sister's ever said to me was like my

00:58:02.300 sister's a lesbian for context okay thank you for telling me you're welcome i feel like you could

00:58:06.220 have mentioned it earlier i know my bad i didn't want it to be a hallmark of her again she's right

00:58:11.180 here um but she told me like the best part of releasing the pick me and me was pretending not

00:58:16.820 pretending to like football anymore she was like oh i hated it and she would pretend to like it i mean

00:58:22.540 i have been there are you kidding i i dated a guy who went to ohio state i had to go to so many

00:58:27.240 football games and like pretend to be invested i tried to learn the rules dozens of times i just

00:58:32.840 kept saying why are they why are they stopping right a thousand times when you watch them live too it's

00:58:37.500 even more on the tv it's like i've seen people say like the last like four minutes of a quarter

00:58:43.480 is real time two hours on tv it lasts a hundred million years yeah there are some sports i feel like

00:58:51.180 like i feel that way about baseball like i'm very well you know they change the rules to make the

00:58:55.040 games quicker because even baseball fans were like you guys have to figure this out we can't do it

00:59:00.260 anymore yeah because you pan back and i'm a skeleton in the chair i mean it's crazy the most exciting

00:59:04.480 thing that happened to baseball was when smile did that viral marketing two years ago when they had

00:59:08.920 people behind home plate smiling and props to them for changing the rules because i so many sports

00:59:13.840 just wouldn't do that right um i don't even know what they changed but i know that the games are faster so

00:59:18.480 it doesn't feel like it it doesn't feel like it yeah and i feel like i've said before if baseball

00:59:23.680 was all highlights i would be more inclined to pay attention absolutely but it's everything in

00:59:29.520 between that makes me want to kill myself well i was flying out of la when the uh world series game

00:59:35.120 three was on and people were getting off their flights and stopping to watch tv yeah if i'm getting

00:59:40.700 off a flight i can't i don't know what would have to be on the tv screen to get me to stop and watch it

00:59:46.240 i i want to go home you couldn't pay me i'm i'm on my way to something yeah i'm not gonna stop and

00:59:51.660 just see who wins the big game it's like if you just get out of the airport you might catch it at

00:59:55.860 home i can't fathom it i can't and i i try to not be too harsh on sports fans because maybe that energy

01:00:02.460 like maybe somehow equates to less mass shootings because like men have something to do with their

01:00:07.240 time i don't know i'm giving them the benefit of the doubt but i'm just like how are people so

01:00:12.180 wrapped up in it i think that all the time and i think that a lot about men who are violently

01:00:18.120 misogynistic which means inherently they think all women's interests are frivolous and stupid and

01:00:23.160 i was like i mean you watch other grown men hit each other capris by the way yeah shins out think

01:00:31.020 about that right and it's it's funny because when we we recently came back from a trip with my whole

01:00:36.400 family including my parents and my dad for context is a really big dude so is my fiance so like

01:00:41.940 older misogynistic men who love sports when they see my dad or my fiance it's like oh it feels like

01:00:50.260 they saw a famous person so they're always like oh my god oh my god oh my god i have to talk to you

01:00:54.480 about sports which is insane because neither my dad is a former nfl player my dad doesn't give a

01:00:58.800 fuck about football like my doesn't care about that's so cool like he doesn't care like he'll watch

01:01:02.220 but he doesn't care and my fiance is the same way so this older man like saw my dad was wearing

01:01:08.180 i believe a yankees hat but it was like red it's just the color like my dad just likes the color

01:01:14.640 sure so he's like oh my god are you worried about the game because i think it was the same day as a

01:01:19.940 as one of the world series games and then my dad goes i'm not worried like he just says very frivolous

01:01:24.540 things that man said that one thing right and then they were like right sat down on the plane

01:01:30.400 whole flight get off the plane go all the way to baggage claim finds my dad a baggage claim talks

01:01:35.760 him for 40 minutes about just baseball and that's the dangers of wearing a sports exactly sports team

01:01:41.060 on your person because my dad is so like uh such a hermit like he hates attention he hates talking to

01:01:48.720 strangers for long periods of time and so he's just going like listening that guy talked at my dad for

01:01:54.840 that long your dad had an inherently female experience exactly what's it feel like what do

01:02:00.780 you get you're so family oriented right it's like i love this i would watch a show of you and your

01:02:07.920 family like navigating the biz going on vacation the most insane things happen to us all the time

01:02:12.680 and it's funny because that man was talking when my dad that man was talking he worked football into

01:02:16.300 the conversation talked about that too was talking about all these different like games he was at

01:02:20.840 these players that he's watched like the hats that he had whatever right also worked transphobia into

01:02:26.640 the conversation don't know how he did that my dad was like the mental gymnastic he's a gymnast too

01:02:32.280 right and then he does all that and then i my dad's relaying it to us after we leave and then i'm like

01:02:37.340 isn't it insane that grown men like that man was in his 70s like his hair was white and wispy

01:02:42.660 and gone mind you and he's bragging about the accomplishments of other men greater than himself

01:02:49.160 you're a loser yeah a loser with no one to talk to yeah and no personality if you have nothing up

01:02:55.060 here other than facts you're seeking out someone's dad at the airport in baggage you're harassing my

01:02:59.760 dad at the baggage claim well what's really scary about those conversations is they start with sports

01:03:03.920 then they move on to transphobia and then they start pitching you businesses

01:03:06.940 so that can be so scary that can be so scary so my heart goes out to your dad i hope he's okay

01:03:14.600 i know i took my dad recently to a clippers game fine because my dad loves basketball like that's

01:03:20.920 my dad's favorite sport to watch that's a sport yeah but he has no favorite team he just likes to

01:03:24.820 watch and i took my dad like just the two of us which was fun and it was like a courtside thing

01:03:30.920 which is cool but when we got there my dad wore a wife beater and my dad is like he body built he did

01:03:37.720 bodybuilding competition like last year or whatever so my dad's a big dude like he's big right now

01:03:41.480 especially and like i told my family i said taking him to that game and that tank top was like

01:03:48.400 dropping a ribeye in a tiger cage bitch bro the way they were all like when they saw him like and

01:03:55.580 they were like big guy big guy big they start like tweaking that's like weird like they start

01:04:00.220 freaking out like they really want to talk to him about muscles and and and they're just like

01:04:05.420 athlete right i'm standing close to an athlete right now and it's crazy how like these men

01:04:10.420 they've never spoken to my dad they've never seen him but they immediately respect him because

01:04:14.680 they think he's like superior athletically so which i don't know what the fuck that is

01:04:20.040 they see him at like he is like virile you know what i mean they're like this man could produce

01:04:24.940 children it's like i feel like it's very it's biology again it keeps coming up i feel like it's

01:04:31.840 that biological thing of like big man big man walk hard big man seek safety big man seek safety big

01:04:38.240 man um conquer women you know it's really as that's what they're thinking right that's verbatim

01:04:45.460 what they're thinking yeah and they're like i need to engage with this person yeah i need to i need to

01:04:49.840 form an alliance with this person as if it's like the zombie apocalypse well if a war breaks out there

01:04:54.920 they want him on their team honestly i'm making sure i i would love to have my dad on my team in the

01:05:00.400 event of that but my mom needs to be on my team okay my mom's the go-getter my mom's the like

01:05:05.980 she's a very solution-based she's is she gonna be out foraging oh yeah she's for my mom's formulating

01:05:10.540 a plan immediately that's what you need yeah you need both you need you need brains and and brawn

01:05:16.200 right brawn right that's important to have brawn yeah that's what we're missing that's what we're

01:05:23.520 missing would you survive in a zombie apocalypse you think i think i would i think i would uh be good

01:05:29.840 at the strategy side like i think if i was an orange is a new black i would be red the chef

01:05:34.980 the cook the chef um who like sort of is like everyone's a chess piece and you're moving them

01:05:40.520 around right but i think people would underestimate me especially with blonde hair and i would actually

01:05:44.660 use that to my advantage okay love i like to think that um well i don't know i guess we'll see

01:05:49.640 in the next couple months depending on what happens we'll see i guess we'll find out

01:05:55.120 yeah what about you no i don't think but not because i mean i don't think i'm like physically

01:06:01.980 like incapable necessarily i just don't think i'd want to be around i've said this a few times on the

01:06:08.740 show but i'm like i mean when my phone dies like what's the point yeah i guess you can only hope

01:06:13.780 you're with someone you would want to have sex with and then you could do that for a while and then

01:06:17.800 die yeah and then after a couple like 30 minutes you're like well see ya well going out on

01:06:24.960 top that's for sure absolutely going out on top i know there's so many zombie apocalypse shows and

01:06:30.180 it does make you think like what would my role be i guess i'd probably flee to the suburbs i'd go to

01:06:34.400 my parents house and hang out in the basement until they came to find me or something i don't know

01:06:40.580 have you watched the last of us so i watched a few episodes and it felt like a show for straight

01:06:46.520 people yeah and i'm happy i'm 50 because i'm bi 50 gay 50 that's how it works right but i just felt

01:06:52.800 like i don't think i need to watch it is that bad i it was really well done i feel like that about

01:06:58.460 a lot of shows to be quite honest with you i never watch anything new that's my cross to bear okay once

01:07:04.900 again i like when people are like are you watching anything new i'm like nope well when people ask me

01:07:09.020 what i'm watching i'm like i guess i'm re-watching bad men for the fifth time so does that count

01:07:14.140 bad men's your favorite show right i saw it's huge i saw you say that on caleb's it's huge for

01:07:18.540 me why particularly that show i just i vibes it's the vibe the writing is so good the characters all

01:07:24.700 have like such different like paths and journeys and it felt like a lot of care went into like the

01:07:30.700 stories right and that they didn't cut corners the like wardrobe is amazing the sets everything

01:07:35.460 just feels so like lived in and real and obviously romanticizing like the 60s and 70s it's like a time

01:07:41.260 period i'm very interested in so i just love watching it and i think i think there's some

01:07:46.080 characters that the first time around like where society was at they kind of got like shot on and

01:07:51.440 then re-watching it now i have like so much more empathy for the female characters and even some of

01:07:56.000 the male characters that are written as they're just complex like they all felt like complex characters

01:08:00.800 who sometimes you agreed with what they did and sometimes you didn't tv now is so disposable i'm

01:08:06.040 finding so it's hard for me to get really invested in a narrative that's just like kind of like

01:08:10.800 flimsy you know tell them it's hard it's really hard to be a tv viewer right now um that's what i

01:08:17.460 came on here to say also in addition to saying hi to my family but um so what are you watching are

01:08:22.420 you re-watching anything what's the classics i re-watch modern family oh i love modern family

01:08:28.580 speaking of well-written jokes that like are able to transcend talking about things that are really

01:08:34.860 hard like i always reference this joke from a modern family episode where you know like phil

01:08:39.240 dunphy always says things and he doesn't realize they're like double entendres that's like his bit

01:08:43.220 he he has this line where he goes guys i'm transitioning and he's talking about changing

01:08:47.720 career paths and then hayley goes are you really she goes okay well don't pick jasmine because nobody

01:08:53.780 wants to be friends with a 50 year old jasmine that's funny that's a good joke that's such a hilariously

01:08:58.860 written joke that's not a mean joke and it's not a punching down joke it's not mean it's not

01:09:03.640 punching down and it's not a cultural reference i think there's so much room for comedy to come

01:09:07.920 from cultural references and shows it's when shows rest on that alone for the comedy that i'm like

01:09:12.860 okay it's like i get the formula now yeah i need something else yeah so modern family is a big one

01:09:17.540 for me um i know everybody hate i i know there's like a big hate train for it but i love the office

01:09:23.340 i think the office who hates the office people online and i feel like a lot of times it's like i get it

01:09:28.400 because like the worst guy you know loves the office and then there's a bunch of awesome people

01:09:32.960 that also love the office it's kind of like friends the worst people you know are obsessed

01:09:37.140 with that show and also really cool people like the show so it's like well if you speak out about

01:09:40.840 liking the office as a cool person and you get blowback then that makes less people want to talk

01:09:45.280 about it so that's really a problem stemming from those people how do you watch the office and not

01:09:49.660 have a good time i don't know i just feel like the writing on that show is just so unbelievably funny

01:09:54.900 and it's in so many ways like it's like in the stillness of awkward that it's the funniest to me

01:10:01.000 and like panning the camera there's a really good youtube video i love coming on here and plugging

01:10:05.060 youtube videos it's about how they changed michael scott's character after the first season because

01:10:09.680 they realized so unlikable it just didn't make sense like no one no one was like on his side ever

01:10:14.760 and they reformulated the character and to make this like sort of iconic timeless like boss character

01:10:20.100 but i just think it's cool to i think it's great people are out there doing that type of work

01:10:24.400 right looking into that sort of thing and making youtube videos that i can then learn from do you

01:10:29.900 have any other comfort do you have a comfort movie i know you have a comfort show my comfort movie is

01:10:33.940 interstellar really which is uh i guess surprising to some but i just love it another movie where i can

01:10:41.460 dip in and out of and watch different scenes and just be like okay that was good and now i'm gonna go

01:10:46.140 to bed i just love it you know what's funny is sometimes i'll go when people say have you ever seen

01:10:51.260 that movie i go yeah i think so maybe a long time ago when i say that what i mean is i've seen like

01:10:57.180 maybe two scenes not even on tiktok i think maybe like on youtube when i was just going down a rabbit

01:11:01.720 hole and i just feel like i got the gist and that's fine so i feel like interstellar is there to be

01:11:06.220 consumed however you want to consume it that's my movie going experience yeah is watching one or two

01:11:10.780 scenes with no context and then lying and telling people i've seen that you've seen it that's a fun thing

01:11:14.460 to do yeah i don't like one thing in conversations with and it happens i hate to say it mostly with

01:11:18.780 straight guys they'll reference someone that i obviously have never heard of and don't know

01:11:22.460 and then i'll go yeah oh okay cool and they go well do you know that person like do you know of

01:11:27.120 that person i'm like no i just wanted to keep the conversation moving so i could get out of it

01:11:31.200 don't question me when you're talking about like a jazz pianist that i've never heard of

01:11:35.480 obviously i don't know that you know that about and you know that because i'm a normal human being

01:11:39.660 and this is like our one conversation we'll probably ever have so that's how you want to spend it

01:11:43.420 um i just think yeah if you've known and maybe one day you'll want to watch it right and it's

01:11:48.240 there for you it's being released in imax the last time i watched interstellar was recently and then i

01:11:53.320 realized i've only seen this movie once and i was forced to watch it for a film class that i took in

01:11:58.560 college so like i didn't even watch it because i wanted to i watched it because i had to and so i

01:12:02.820 remember when i was watching it i was super super high when i was watching it recently and then as i was

01:12:09.600 watching i told my sister for some reason i convinced myself that i thought the martian

01:12:16.440 and interstellar were the same movie because matt damon is also an interstellar and then i thought

01:12:21.840 to myself because i think when i think of and if you're wondering no i haven't seen the martian

01:12:25.180 okay but i do know the movie poster yeah and it's just him with the really zoomed in helmet right

01:12:31.040 and i was telling my sister i was so high watching interstellar that i was literally thinking i made up

01:12:36.220 the martian i was like that's so stupid i made up the movie poster i made up the color i know it's

01:12:41.640 orange it's got an orange hue to it i literally was telling myself i was like i literally made up

01:12:46.060 the martian like that's crazy you're like the mind is so powerful i invented a press campaign i should

01:12:51.960 i should write this down yeah so i don't forget it reach out to matt damon as soon as possible i need

01:12:57.020 to get someone on the phone immediately it was a really confusing time because yeah the matt damon of

01:13:02.140 it all he wasn't in any of the ads for interstellar and the martian came out at the same time and he

01:13:06.420 plays like opposite types of astronauts both astronauts just sort of built from a different

01:13:11.680 cloth or cut from a different cloth so it was very confusing and i totally see why you went there with

01:13:15.720 that i was like i can't believe i made up the martian and i was just convinced and then i was like i even

01:13:19.780 made up the stupid title the martian like i was telling myself that and then my fiance goes oh yeah

01:13:25.040 he's in the martian too and i go i out loud i was like how did you know that and he goes no what like

01:13:30.520 he got i scared him and i go wait hold on and then i took like a couple minutes and i go okay i'm

01:13:36.400 i'm fucking stupid sorry i thought i made up the martian's a real movie for a second i thought i

01:13:40.300 made up the martian for one quick minute i thought i created the martian i wish that i wish that you

01:13:46.520 had me too i think and who's to say i couldn't female female writer right that could have been huge

01:13:52.440 i had one of my friends on who's a creator and she's super funny online too and she when she was on

01:13:57.980 she told me i asked her like if she got hate online and she goes oh yeah but she goes the worst

01:14:02.460 hate i've ever gotten is when i said that i think if i was alive at the same time as isaac newton i

01:14:08.120 could have beat him to discovering gravity and she said that's the most visceral hate i've ever gotten

01:14:14.740 she's like the amount of men that were like you fucking stupid bitch you could never and she goes

01:14:20.500 this is all about isaac newton like he's dead it's fine it's fine you ride for this man also it's a

01:14:26.160 that's what i said i was like i didn't know he had shooters like that isaac newton i don't want

01:14:31.440 to talk badly on your friend i'm just saying if i was alive who knows and by the way you can't prove

01:14:36.240 that i wouldn't have so that's like my favorite thing to do to men who are like that is to say

01:14:43.260 like well i mean who's to say i it's so powerful to just pose that question who's to say we'll never

01:14:50.080 know i on my on ride the podcast that i host with with benny we were i was saying how men don't have

01:14:56.580 fashion references and that's why all men's vintage stores are just like soldier uniforms like they

01:15:02.120 just sell like wife like um waffle tees and like the cargo pants and all that stuff it's all like

01:15:07.500 people clothes people wore in world war ii that they're now selling for like 300 for a pair of pants

01:15:12.280 so i said men have no fashion references the comments i got what do you call kanye west jacob

01:15:17.900 lordy james dean i'm like do you think you dress like james dean oh oh i'm talking about most men

01:15:25.660 sorry not you um i'm talking about yeah sorry no i think we're not talking about the same thing

01:15:31.000 um yeah i guess james dean is a great fashion reference for you guys and good luck with that

01:15:36.660 no james dean doesn't count but why aren't you dressing like that exactly so what's stopping you

01:15:41.140 from dressing like james dean that's just the right moment yeah if i had enough time

01:15:47.080 if i had enough time it's the same thing with like the olympics right um because i had alona

01:15:54.080 mar on my podcast too and like she's obviously an olympian and the amount of men that are like i

01:15:58.740 mean i could have if i if i want i could have sure like short time is the reason why you're not an

01:16:05.220 olympian sure right it's because you're too busy that's what it is well that's just what's held them

01:16:09.420 back i brought i literally brought this up today but noah beck posted that he just watched jango

01:16:15.340 unchained okay he was like i finally had three free hours to watch this the movie came out in 2012

01:16:20.240 what have you been doing for the last 10 plus years that you you're like i just finally had

01:16:26.760 time to catch this flick so time has kept noah beck from watching jango unchained i don't even know

01:16:33.100 if you knew how much i'd be i don't know him at all by the way i just i'm like i appreciate this

01:16:37.900 as a piece of art what have you been up to king he's been busy busy he's creating that's okay that's

01:16:43.740 all right i get it i have that's why i think that too um same thing with men who think they're funny

01:16:50.620 it's like this isn't funny to you well i wouldn't expect an unfunny person to find me funny but like

01:16:56.700 it's it's okay because i'm not if i was seeking counsel i'm not asking you that's for fucking sure

01:17:02.740 no i'm not you're not my audience that's what you have to remember yeah so people saying i'm not funny

01:17:07.360 i'm like sure whatever i've heard it all before but this australian guy commented on my uh a joke i

01:17:12.060 posted i'm wearing this like vintage versace dress for my special that's on youtube and i posted a clip

01:17:18.120 from it and he goes this is funny but i don't know who told her that that dress looks good on her

01:17:22.620 i guess he he's a divorced husband of the real housewives of sydney or something but it was just

01:17:27.880 like oh so you're gonna actually come at me for fashion yeah is that really what you want to talk

01:17:32.840 about that's what you'd like to do right now um you go to his page it's like um trump memes and then

01:17:38.080 like porridge that he cooked nice and and it says like obviously father but you know writer blah blah

01:17:43.840 in the bio i'm like go go take care of your kids where are you know where your kids are yeah i think

01:17:48.520 you have bigger problems honestly i think that too when men call me like fat and ugly which

01:17:52.600 is very common i'm always like well i mean beauty is subjective which i've said many times um so

01:17:59.420 like what one person finds beautiful the next person might not and that's okay and and normal

01:18:04.380 um but if good looks was a race i know i have one bitch beat yeah and it's that guy it's you yeah

01:18:10.880 you're behind me for sure the new york city marathon you're the last person coming in

01:18:14.380 i'm somewhere at all yeah i'm somewhere in the middle it's really shocking and what people will do

01:18:19.860 even on their personal accounts not burner accounts not with a different profile picture

01:18:24.480 it has like their employer their wife is tagged in the bio their kids are info i'm like are you not

01:18:30.280 embarrassed right why are you why are you attacking a young woman online it's just i don't know i've

01:18:35.840 messaged wives before and i've sent them you're doing your work yeah well my what what their husband

01:18:40.980 has said to me recently i did actually did really recently i did like a couple weeks ago i sent it to

01:18:45.640 someone and i said hey like you don't know me and you don't follow me but um this is what your

01:18:50.380 husband wrote on my pictures unsolicited and unprovoked and i just feel like you should know

01:18:56.320 what he's doing in his free time because if my fiance was doing that i would want to know

01:19:00.260 and i said do with it what you will right what do you say i actually never get responses but this time i

01:19:06.060 did and she said i'm so sorry about that thank you so much for telling me and i just didn't respond

01:19:12.280 because there's really nothing more i can say after that but like i just think like even when

01:19:16.620 i've said that before i've had men delete it i i would say like does your girlfriend know or your

01:19:21.600 wife know that you do this or should i tell her that's what i always comment back again i would not

01:19:26.680 want to be on the receiving end of that for me i i would if if i got a dm from you that said hey did

01:19:32.100 you know dot dot dot i would just throw my phone in the hudson and jump in after it like i'm done i'm

01:19:38.700 cooked i don't want to know i don't know and i don't want to know i'm just gonna end it right now

01:19:42.300 and i've had them delete it immediately and then message me and say why would you say that to me

01:19:47.680 why would you do that like my wife doesn't care blah blah and i go then why'd you delete your shit

01:19:51.760 your wife doesn't care you're just hiding it now and it's always it's almost like a we don't need

01:19:56.080 okay like we're all having fun let's not like you do such great work with screenshots i feel like

01:20:02.180 you you have receipts you did one video i remember about receipts yeah about like i don't know if

01:20:06.820 someone had commented something negative or like they were maybe trying to hit on you or something

01:20:11.480 and i don't know there was some thing that happened where you were like i have screenshots yeah of your

01:20:15.740 behavior yeah like the the receipts are there you can't run from this i made a video like not too long

01:20:21.340 ago probably a few months ago when i was still on twitter i'm not on twitter anymore but like

01:20:25.420 i saved screenshots and i used them in that video they were two years old i remember the day i took them

01:20:32.740 i screenshot them and i was like just in case just in case and then there's a i've talked about

01:20:38.440 recently i even did it on caleb's podcast recently talking about i know a guy who i know hates me

01:20:43.320 because he's a bad person and can you tell me after yes i will tell you i don't think you'll know who it

01:20:48.060 is but like yeah i'll tell him because not a lot of people know like who this guy is but he hates me

01:20:53.200 and i know that um it's documented and i saved that screenshot too which is funny but um he smells really

01:20:59.760 bad and like like genuinely smells very bad like when i say like you know when when cats

01:21:05.560 asses stink because you're like they need to get something out of there yeah like when they lift

01:21:10.140 their tail up and you're like oh my god like when they're on the back of the couch that's what it

01:21:13.920 smells like it's pretty horrifying and uh i told everyone i'm like he better never turn on me

01:21:20.160 because you've got your your ammo's loaded and now that i know you stink it's gonna be even funnier

01:21:25.520 because not everyone would know that now now i know you stink how you were in proximity to him

01:21:31.600 yeah many times i've been next to him many times it's so strange how he hates me so fucking much and

01:21:36.320 i know that and he is with me at so many things like we get invited to the same shit all the time

01:21:41.580 he's an influencer that smells bad yeah girl good luck narrowing it down because there's a million of

01:21:47.480 them i'm sure that just means he has no real friends to me that's sad for real i thought the same

01:21:51.960 thing like does anyone in your life care about you because if i was walking around with stink lines

01:21:57.160 above my head like that i would want someone to tell me i find it really odd when people our age

01:22:02.480 who live in cities metropolitan areas smell right what's going on especially men who are doing well

01:22:08.260 shower they have a lot of money where's it going not to toothpaste that's the most shocking thing

01:22:13.760 when people i'm like toothbrushes cost two dollars just use one or even buy i don't know buy a pack of

01:22:20.380 gum something if you can't brush please at the very least get some gum yeah i mean i i would be

01:22:26.840 curious like from your perspective just getting people that are like you know giving you or like

01:22:31.960 just insulting you i mean it just rolls off the back like was there a point where you decided that

01:22:36.360 like i'm not going to take any of this shit seriously no i i haven't taken it seriously from

01:22:41.120 the day i blew up like the day i say all the time like the video that made me go viral was

01:22:46.660 very specific red flags and men and i had very specific red flags and men so i i had a list

01:22:52.400 behind me of like i did a note notes app oh yeah and i did like 15 things on there and it was like

01:22:58.800 if he you know loves tom brady not a bucks or a pass just tom brady um if wolf of wall street's

01:23:06.860 his favorite movie of all time like if he thinks there's no movie that's ever been made that's better

01:23:09.680 than that um if he wears a backwards hat in the pool you really came for them you know what i mean

01:23:15.320 it's like and so i was very specific so that's the video that blew me up when that happened

01:23:20.160 obviously i had a lot of people being like oh my god this is so funny then i had a whole bunch of

01:23:24.100 men uh sending me a whole bunch of fucking hate like just saying the most awful things i've ever

01:23:28.160 seen which is at the time i think i was like 25 ish like 25 yeah i want to say and i grew up on

01:23:36.640 the internet to some extent right so like i was there with myspace and the when youtube first launched

01:23:42.000 and so like youtubers and all that shit so i had never experienced any amount of hate ever because

01:23:47.940 i'd never done anything like that before yeah but i do remember like seeing all of it and laughing

01:23:53.660 like i was like this is funny because like they're telling me i i'm ugly and i go and look and i said

01:24:00.000 well looks isn't something i would bring up if i were you well the call is coming from inside the

01:24:05.000 house well it takes one to know one doesn't it a big buggo on the internet yeah there's two of us

01:24:09.300 you're a queen we're looking in a mirror twin which is like so funny so i posted videos and i i've said

01:24:15.620 before i used to be a lot meaner like online because nobody knew who i was so i wasn't getting

01:24:19.780 flagged yeah and so i was saying the meanest shit i could possibly think of to only men it's so funny

01:24:26.840 yeah and like all of those videos are gone now like once i once i became like someone they took all

01:24:33.060 of them down like in one tiktok day yeah because they were violating guidelines okay okay but then

01:24:38.840 but those guys can make those videos and not get them taken down yeah you know what's crazy is i've

01:24:43.300 heard before that it's not the same thing when they make awful shit about me because i'm a public

01:24:48.560 person and they're not so that's like seen as like they're allowed to do that because i'm a public

01:24:53.500 person but like me doing it about them is is fucked up and not cool well they they i feel like they

01:24:59.080 opted out of privacy when they made the video yeah whatever it is especially when their first

01:25:02.960 and last names are on all of their shit like so i every time i'm like when people are like does it

01:25:08.960 ever like actually no because like i'm not listening to an ugly bitch call me ugly no no i'm not i'm not

01:25:17.680 even entertaining it i'm not even listening like i'm so far ahead of you in the race called life that

01:25:22.560 it doesn't matter to me yeah i'm like yeah no i don't get my validation from that do you get a lot

01:25:27.340 i get a lot of hate and people just saying i'm not funny um which it's like okay yeah like you

01:25:33.220 said to you um that doesn't really bother me because like i know i'm funny and i my audience

01:25:38.760 is i said i say this at the beginning of my special it's girls and gay guys and the straight

01:25:43.000 men who love us so if you don't fall into that then i don't really care about making you laugh

01:25:46.620 in fact i don't want to make you laugh because then i'm probably doing something wrong right but

01:25:49.980 it's a lot of that just and anything political people will comment obviously enraged anything

01:25:56.020 about sex oh all female comedians talk about is sex yeah why is that the new thing that they say

01:26:02.040 as if men are not doing not doing that it's like their specials it's just like a talking point it's

01:26:07.820 like they just parrot it back but i think when you know maybe as the as comedy has progressed like

01:26:15.100 back in the day maybe women were pigeonholed and talking more about sex stuff to like be able to

01:26:20.180 perform on the same stages as men because that's something men would actually laugh at yeah but

01:26:23.900 it's tough is like i know a joke about sex or dating will get a lot more views and shares because

01:26:28.520 it's relatable so it's like those things might not be my smartest jokes but like they're the ones that

01:26:33.480 will get the most eyes so then you get followers off that and then you can post stuff that's more

01:26:36.980 whatever like speaking to my voice exactly um so people don't understand that one commenting is

01:26:42.700 actually good for me because then it's going to show up for more people yeah and she would tell them

01:26:46.620 it's part of the plan it's like you yeah i'm getting more eyes on my my profile to get more

01:26:51.020 followers to then but it's hard it's like it's that like self-fulfilling prophecy of like well

01:26:56.060 i have to post a sex joke because it's going to get seen by more people but then it might end up on

01:27:00.280 the wrong side of of instagram or whatever and you just kind of i i it is white noise to me truly

01:27:05.780 same i don't i have a live audience they're telling me if i'm funny nothing you can type behind your

01:27:10.700 little computer screen is gonna have me quaking and i can confidently say it's far more nerve-wracking

01:27:16.880 doing it live like it's that's what like i can say with conviction now because i've only done it

01:27:21.860 once and i was shaking in my fucking boots because i was so nervous because they will tell you if they

01:27:27.020 like it or not like that's kind of the whole point of they're paying you to entertain them and a joke

01:27:31.280 bombing hurts a lot more than like a negative comment exactly it's a joke bombing is like i was so oh my

01:27:37.960 gosh i was so nervous about it and i feel like i feel like too that's another reason why comedy is

01:27:43.720 starting to flourish like you were saying it's it the obviously the marrying of social media with

01:27:49.080 comedy is a lot of bad but also good because then you're seeing people that you would never otherwise

01:27:53.740 see like you were saying it's a lot harder to get put in certain rooms where they are recording or

01:27:58.300 they'll post clips whereas like the club scene is where 90 of it's happening so when people are able

01:28:03.800 to record and put them online then you can see like new forms of comedy and new comics that don't look

01:28:09.360 like what we're used to seeing all the time like a man in pajamas talking about how much he hates his

01:28:15.140 fucking wife his bitch wife his bitch wife loves target loves target and um and and he hates he hates

01:28:22.740 his in-laws too and i think that's important to also touch upon um and his wife won't fuck him

01:28:26.760 so but that's funny yeah he wants to fuck all the time but she doesn't she doesn't want to yeah

01:28:32.000 it's very and i've i've even made jokes before saying like when i've talked about bad joke writing and

01:28:38.900 i'm like it's just punching down it's the lowest form of comedy it's also the lowest hanging fruit

01:28:43.160 it's yeah anyone can make a racist joke anyone can make a transphobic joke um but that doesn't

01:28:48.080 make it a good one just because it's easy to see and pluck doesn't mean it's good no and challenge

01:28:52.700 yourself to like say something different that's never been said before hopefully right but i think

01:28:57.400 the whole like the backlash from the trump msg rally i've just been like kicking my feet with glee i'm

01:29:03.520 like that really fucking backfired didn't it yeah i know you're being funny it's not funny again like

01:29:08.160 it wasn't funny on top of it being racist like it wasn't funny 50 years ago either by the way

01:29:13.460 a hundred years ago like it's never funny it the and i even said i'm the same thing like that you

01:29:20.420 said i don't want to make you laugh that's how i feel too about people like that because i'm like

01:29:24.120 well clearly my we're not aligned in any way shape or form i don't want you watching me and i don't

01:29:27.780 want you laughing as fuck on top of that but i'm like if i look around and the only people laughing

01:29:33.260 are people whose whereabouts on january 6th are still in question yeah i need to be checked into

01:29:39.060 a hospital something's wrong yeah there's something's gone terribly wrong something's

01:29:42.780 gone terribly wrong and we need to check on it i don't um like dave chappelle is a comedian anymore

01:29:48.260 and i think what he's doing to the trans community it just i don't understand it it baffles me i'm like

01:29:53.260 so vehemently against it but when he walked away from his comedy central show he did say like i was i was

01:29:58.840 looking around the room when we were doing chappelle's show and the wrong people were laughing

01:30:03.300 and i i think he just saw that like maybe the sketches were appealing to the wrong people and so

01:30:10.220 i i think like it's tough there's so many comedians that i once admired who you kind of have to just

01:30:15.200 like let that go yeah but sometimes they still made good points yeah um you know back in in ancient

01:30:20.620 history not not in present day yeah which is so disappointing but yeah it is like you don't i don't know

01:30:25.700 there's jokes i've told it i've told once i'm like you know what i actually don't like

01:30:28.700 i don't like that the way that that made me feel yeah and i think as like a white woman i don't

01:30:32.580 really touch on like race that much or just issues where i feel like maybe my voice is not like a

01:30:38.260 valuable yeah medium for the conversation yeah and well and also i feel like you said it's like you need

01:30:43.740 to have a very good perspective if you're operating from a very high place of privilege and you want to

01:30:50.220 do comedy because there are certain lenses that you like chris fleming is a perfect example of

01:30:55.700 someone whose lens is so specific i could never in my wildest dreams do i wish i could i wish i could

01:31:02.260 procure that imagery or the the way he uses language yeah like i just i watched a clip he posted recently

01:31:09.280 where he was talking about how like he does have guy friends as shocking as that may sound and he says

01:31:14.720 but my guy friends i describe as like men that would have also been burned at the salem witch trials i was

01:31:19.800 at that show girl i was laughing my ass off i was and he was saying like you know there's like one or

01:31:25.200 two men thrown in there yeah yeah he's like those are my friends besties and he said one of them he was

01:31:30.260 saying like one of my friends like he talks too softly to his dad yeah burned he was like i dream i dream of

01:31:40.560 a perspective like that and it's like it's not hurting anyone it's so fucking funny and it's just so

01:31:46.100 specific i feel like the greatest humor is in specificity for me personally agree which is why

01:31:51.620 when i've made jokes making fun of dudes and i've like told like i've told people they're like how do

01:31:56.340 i come up with like mean things like funny mean things to say to men i'm like well like starting

01:32:01.240 points are like you guys are going for the obvious kills like you're saying like i bet it's small or i

01:32:07.700 bet you know what i mean like and i do obvious kills too like you said like i do have low hanging

01:32:11.840 for jokes like high-end hairlines are easy ones those are slam dunks because it hurts their feelings

01:32:16.540 every time the minute the minute it doesn't affect them i'll retire it yeah the minute it doesn't

01:32:20.520 affect them i will retire it but i've told them like you got to get way more specific so like when

01:32:25.940 you tell them like not that he looks like he has a small dick but you say something like

01:32:29.580 you look like you work at the genius bar inside the best buy yeah that's funny that's hard to hear

01:32:36.540 yeah it's hard to hear like i if i say something to like someone where i'm like you you personally

01:32:43.320 look like you were like really involved on campus that's funny mean and it's funny because i've seen

01:32:51.700 something that said that something of that nature and i've sent it to caleb and then he messaged me

01:32:56.800 back and said hey block me block me yeah that's because i clocked him someone who's very involved some

01:33:01.720 people don't want to see that in themselves wait wait i want to ask you this too sorry for running

01:33:06.660 out of time no you're fine i think i saw you one time this was maybe like two years ago someone was

01:33:11.260 ripping your videos word for word did that happen no that is true so it's really hard to be like a

01:33:17.680 public creator because obviously you want to put that stuff out there but like copying is such a real

01:33:23.200 thing and it's such a real thing in stand-up yeah especially because if you're doing it at live shows

01:33:27.020 like it's not really going to catch up with you because like the person who you're copying

01:33:30.780 most likely won't see it yeah but i will say there's some people i've been getting texts about

01:33:35.920 of like oh this person's doing your material or i heard this joke that you have been doing for years

01:33:39.620 that they're doing like how do you deal with that like doesn't i mean it's to me it's the most

01:33:44.040 frustrating part of the job um i'd get a thousand hate comments over having someone steal a joke of

01:33:49.260 mine um but how do you feel like about that well when it happened that was like that was two years ago

01:33:55.660 that was and it was a girl and she like word for word was ripping off like and it's crazy because

01:34:03.280 like again like this is this is a white girl so the way that i talk is very specific to me when you

01:34:10.420 verbatim rip off my vernacular it sounds foreign it sounds like you're doing a black sound almost i mean

01:34:16.960 that's a whole other thing i could talk about for an hour right which is crazy um so that's how i know

01:34:21.320 like i don't know how anyone could have possibly thought that that was actually you talking because

01:34:26.140 you would never say that you would never say that that verbiage right but like when i found it i was

01:34:32.020 pissed and i and i was especially angry because the jokes that she was ripping off verbatim like she

01:34:38.300 literally would just save my videos and and copy them word for word including when i say things

01:34:43.280 like but i digress or like little isms that i have that maybe she was confused about what lip syncing

01:34:48.500 onto she's just like she should have just taken the audios at that point memorized the whole thing

01:34:52.980 right and so like and it sounds so clunky coming out of her mouth because that's not how she talks

01:34:57.540 or how she delivers jokes like and so i remember the part that made me the most upset other than just

01:35:03.540 ripping off my bit was um the fact that the men that she was fucking up because she was using them to

01:35:09.180 make fun of men were being nice to her like they were literally in her comments saying like

01:35:14.280 oh this is so funny yeah you got me hey tough but fair you know tough but fair and then i said

01:35:20.080 that's insane because i said that exact same fucking thing and you bitches wanted me burned at

01:35:27.100 the stake speaking of the salem witch trials the these men were all about like body shaming being

01:35:33.240 bad when i fucking said it yeah but then when this bitch says it all of a sudden it's like she's just

01:35:38.320 funny what are you gonna do she's giving me the business you know what i mean like that would have

01:35:43.100 made i mean i probably would have wanted to find out her address it drove me like insane to the

01:35:49.020 point where like i i made a video about it and i didn't even tag her because i was like i'm not

01:35:53.880 trying to dogpile her i just need you to know i've seen it and i better not see it again like and so

01:35:59.160 then she kind of went on this whole like that's not true and then people someone made a video and

01:36:05.520 actually i made one too that prompted them to do it which is like you're gonna double down on this

01:36:10.520 isn't true and so then i put every video of what i said and then what she said and then what i said

01:36:15.840 and what she said it was verbatim like it was creepy it was almost like and on top of the fact

01:36:20.840 that she's not a minority at all like she's not brown like me it's like again the the accent is far

01:36:27.000 more jarring it's it's it's not it doesn't land it's not good speaking of receipts and after that

01:36:32.320 happened she said because she was in the military at the time oh god and she said or no she had just

01:36:36.840 gotten out of the military because she said well i'm still adjusting to civilian life oh straight

01:36:42.140 from the military to tick tock let's take a beat what does okay so in civilian life you guys go on

01:36:48.520 tick tock find people you find funny copy everything they say and then do it because that's just part of

01:36:53.360 it that's part of the deprogramming you go through when you get out i don't know what they teach in

01:36:57.260 military school i don't know what they're learning i guess they don't expel people for plagiarism

01:37:02.420 at the naval academy or whatever god that i mean so did she reached out not really no she was just

01:37:09.920 posting on her own she privated her account so i couldn't even see anything and blocked me and then

01:37:13.720 was i was these were being reported to me by all of my little eyes and ears i mean you have troops

01:37:19.540 on the ground speaking of the military i got a lot of sleepers you have eyes and ears yeah that's why

01:37:23.740 i always say i'm various in game of thrones like the master of whispers all my little birds are

01:37:28.020 everywhere so it will make its way across my desk eventually yeah that's how you whisper my name

01:37:32.140 into the wind you're gonna hear it i'm gonna hear it eventually yeah well i think it's great what

01:37:36.580 you're doing and honestly even just on that level like calling people out for stealing is tough to do

01:37:42.500 it's like do you even want to give them the attention do you want to make do you want them

01:37:45.700 to know that you know it's like it's really hard and sometimes i'm like i want to address it more or

01:37:50.420 like leave a comment or like message the person and it's some yeah it's it's one of those things i'm a

01:37:54.700 coward you brought me here to tell me i'm a coward and i'm figuring it out for myself

01:37:58.880 i won't stand up to guys i won't call out these it's really tough but i feel like you're not a

01:38:04.240 coward you're a woman raised in this world that's what happens but you're what's important is that

01:38:08.640 you're acknowledging that you deserve to say something yeah which i'm glad i'm i'm hopeful

01:38:13.280 that you will because back to you being just such an unbelievable stand-up i just think your shit is so

01:38:18.800 funny and it's so specific to you that's why it feels like someone's wearing your clothes

01:38:23.100 that's why when people copy my jokes i'm like that could have only come from my brain i'm so sorry

01:38:28.220 like props to you because it is a great joke and i get why you would want to rip it for me but like

01:38:33.160 there's just no way that anyone else could think of that like there's no way my jokes are very dark

01:38:38.840 and i feel like the wording i use is very specific i always put a lot of thought into like the word

01:38:43.100 economy of it and the presentation style like i'm very deadpan and and i just think when someone tries

01:38:49.040 to do that it's so obvious yeah and i'm like the joy of it for me of being like a creator or a stand-up

01:38:55.900 or whatever it is a writer is like the the feeling i get when a joke does really well because i know

01:39:01.260 that i wrote it and now other people are laughing at it same so to make a video or to copy a joke

01:39:06.640 it's like you're cheating like how is that even how does that feel like an accomplishment to you when

01:39:11.900 like for real it's someone else's words i don't know i just don't understand that and it's the same

01:39:16.580 thing i feel about comedians that don't have like a point of view i'm like what is that how is that

01:39:21.320 fun for you you're not like saying you're not saying anything that's why i said you're just

01:39:24.320 googling jokes and then you're just reading them off the paper it's like it's boring that's why i

01:39:29.800 said like there's nothing fun about that and like you said it's a very saturated market now so but

01:39:34.520 speaking of to kind of like wrap us a little bit like what would you say is your best piece of advice

01:39:39.260 for female comics specifically or any marginalized person that wants to do comedy and maybe like you said you

01:39:44.400 get sometimes you get a little nervous especially when you're coming up in the business you don't

01:39:47.980 want to speak up too much and comedy is already so difficult to navigate as a marginalized person so

01:39:52.240 what would you say is your best piece of advice for them my best piece of advice is to approach

01:39:56.840 your career like a youngest child with a youngest child mindset which is like i deserve everything that

01:40:02.900 i want i'm gonna nag and beg and ask people for things and not feel shame about it and i you have to

01:40:09.360 believe in the work that you're doing so if you do that and you know you're putting out like the

01:40:13.620 best quality for where you're at in your career and you keep asking for things and you really believe

01:40:18.720 that you are going to speak your like dreams into existence that's what i would say is like i'm the

01:40:23.920 youngest of six kids i was constantly fighting for you know attention and i felt like well i want this

01:40:30.260 so i should get it and not to say that i got everything that i wanted as a kid but i think that

01:40:34.240 mindset and also having older brothers of like i had like a male confidence almost of like well i want this

01:40:39.980 thing so i'm gonna do it yeah yeah um so i think just like don't be deterred by people ignoring

01:40:43.940 emails don't be deterred from getting told no like all those things will once you start to like achieve

01:40:50.540 the things that you want yeah you'll know you'll have a much smaller circle of people to thank love

01:40:55.480 which is fine yeah oh i have one more question for you when it comes to crafting a joke like what would

01:41:01.220 you say is like your best structure or like advice for people who are trying to write quality jokes

01:41:07.180 yeah so i don't i don't really do like a scheduled time to write stuff what i usually do is like if a

01:41:13.180 topic comes up in conversation with my gay best friends yeah and i can make them laugh then i'm

01:41:17.940 like that's probably a joke okay so i should write that down yeah um but i think you need to have gay

01:41:22.760 friends for that to work so that's actually so real yeah that's how i feel about marginalized people

01:41:27.260 when they when i make them laugh i'm like okay i got it then you got it you have to write it down yeah

01:41:31.600 oh and my other thing i would say advice anytime you have an idea that is moderately humorous yeah

01:41:37.680 write it down i don't care if it's two in the morning and you're falling asleep and you don't

01:41:42.160 want to pull your phone out because of the light or whatever you will want there's a really great um

01:41:46.880 david lynch compilation of him saying if you have an idea and you don't write it down you will want

01:41:50.920 to kill yourself that is what i would echo that statement i'm going to amplify david lynch in this

01:41:57.160 moment and say write it down just write it the fuck down it takes two seconds that's so true the

01:42:02.300 amount of jokes that could have been brilliant but i never wrote them down i feel that i'll do that

01:42:08.160 when i'm meeting up with my friends that i haven't seen in a minute like we haven't like physically

01:42:11.980 hung out i'll write down funny shit i thought of and i was like i have to remember to tell them

01:42:16.900 about this my sister and i do it all the time you should be doing we're like write that down dude

01:42:20.400 write that down like we'll write it down we're like we have to remember to tell so and so you need to

01:42:23.620 just have it yeah it's not going to stay in there right you're the mind palace there's too much

01:42:26.940 going on in the geopolitical sphere right now exactly we need to just if you have a humorous

01:42:30.640 thought write it down so that's what i would say and just yeah keep keep going and if a straight

01:42:36.520 comic says something weird to you just write a joke about it that's a good idea turn it lemons into

01:42:42.060 lemonade exactly we love that well thank you so much for coming on the show i adore you thank you

01:42:46.460 for all that you do and i feel like yeah you make tiktok an app i want to open oh thank you

01:42:53.080 thanks for having me i forgive you for being late i'm really sorry it's all right um thank you so

01:42:59.500 much for coming thank you all for tuning into this episode of the comment section and thank you to my

01:43:03.520 amazing guest marybeth barone where can everybody find you you can find me online at marybeth barone

01:43:08.900 and i am currently touring across the country so depending on when this comes out i'll be in san

01:43:14.660 francisco boston dc philly i'm gonna be everywhere and we're adding dates um into 2025 so if you want me to

01:43:21.380 come to your city just let me know oh my gosh yeah y'all go follow marybeth on literally everything

01:43:25.760 if you don't already and you have to go see her live her stand-up is so good and i'm such a fan

01:43:29.840 and i can't wait to see you keep soaring love that fingers crossed love that for you and if not i take

01:43:35.380 back everything that you said and you'll take the episode down yep and i wouldn't blame you

01:43:38.980 thank you so much for tuning into this episode don't forget new episodes of the comment section

01:43:44.400 drop every wednesday you can stream the audio on all streaming platforms or you can watch the video

01:43:48.720 exclusively and for free on our favorite platforms spotify make sure y'all go follow and see marybeth

01:43:54.360 on tour follow her on everything obviously and i'll see you next week bye

01:43:58.220 you

IT'S HARD TO BE A VIEWER Ft. Mary Beth Barone ｜ Episode 145

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