The Comment Section with Drew Afualo

00:00:00.080 um he made like a bunch of transphobic comments too how did that slip in girl i don't know i said

00:00:05.240 huh like how did you know what the fuck you're talking about the world series and how did you

00:00:08.540 get there hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show

00:00:18.520 sorry me your fave everybody knows me who cares about me on to the guest today we have the iconic

00:00:23.700 the legendary the amazingly talented raven lanae welcome to the show miss raven thank you uh i'm

00:00:32.680 happy to be here oh my gosh i'm happy to have you it's an honor and a privilege how have you been

00:00:37.400 how's life i'm doing good i just got off tour so i've been thinking about all the things i've been

00:00:43.580 wanting to eat on tour and i've been eating them oh nice so it's been a good few days how was tour

00:00:48.500 your tour looked like it was it's kind of spread out a little bit huh yeah so there's we did the

00:00:53.400 u.s dates um which i just ended about a week week or so ago um and then i go to europe in a few days

00:01:01.100 and are you excited for that i am i just don't want it to be too cold that's the only thing i worry

00:01:06.100 about in the winter huh like start of winter how was tour do you like touring that i think in a

00:01:12.020 michael jackson meme have you seen that which one he's like i love to tour he really hates

00:01:17.320 but they made him say it you're right you're right actually i have seen that one yet but with

00:01:22.920 you i do i feel like one of the best parts of making music is getting to see the people who

00:01:29.200 love it in real life totally and see how the lyrics stick and yes there's real people behind

00:01:35.700 streams and comments and likes you know who really sit with the music so i think i'm just always so

00:01:42.660 shocked whenever i see people show up yeah really know the songs and not crying yeah so like so fired

00:01:50.660 up to see exactly i'm i'm honestly that's so tea and i'm with you because obviously i'm not an

00:01:55.420 amazingly talented like singer or musician which i think their touring is probably a lot harder i just

00:02:01.160 like i'm a dickhead online so my i went on a book tour this summer yeah for a month and like did 22

00:02:07.240 cities u.s i hate touring really what about it i just told everyone i felt like i was living on the

00:02:15.500 run yeah like it's just it's a lot of me like wiping shit down and packing up in there long

00:02:21.100 enough to shower and then leave yep and wipe all my fingerprints off everything that's how it felt

00:02:24.920 i felt like jason born that's literally what it is it's horrible you get too good at packing up

00:02:30.080 right like my record time yeah like five minutes and that's including brushing my teeth right like

00:02:36.600 that's not normal yeah did you do a tour bus or did you fly i did a sprinter oh and then i flew

00:02:41.920 sometimes okay drives were way too long yeah um but yeah it was it was a good one i think this is one

00:02:48.360 of my favorite ones mainly because the group and my friend arima opened for me so just having another

00:02:55.660 woman on tour i think made absolutely a big difference for me my family my mom and my sister

00:03:00.840 love always try to catch some shows so they call majority of this tour yeah i get that i totally

00:03:07.260 get that and you know what's funny is i felt the same way you did where like performing was the best

00:03:11.960 part of yeah it's everything in between around it i don't think people even realize or think about

00:03:19.740 you know like something as basic as eating right getting exercise stretching right sleeping like

00:03:26.960 all those little things that make you like a person like a normal yeah yeah and able to function

00:03:32.860 exactly i know i can't even imagine doing what you do too because like singing for that much

00:03:36.780 like that long duration of time the show itself and then also multiple days in a row yeah i'm sure is

00:03:42.500 extremely taxing yeah what's your kind of like vibe on tour as far as taking care of your voice and your

00:03:47.800 body that's something with each tour i feel like i'm getting a better handle of um like with this

00:03:54.260 one i tried to make sure i ate well and not waiting to the last minute and having to sit in the burger

00:04:00.700 king drive right right that's happened in the past so just like being proactive about those things

00:04:06.440 making sure i'm getting the most sleep i can um also just for like mental health reasons like telling

00:04:14.120 my mom like i really would like you to be here and not being you're so scared of that or you know

00:04:19.280 totally you're so me yeah i did this i brought almost my entire family on tour i brought my fiance

00:04:24.280 i brought my mom my dad my sister that is so sweet who else yeah like i brought my entire team

00:04:30.180 everybody i was like i need everyone there to like literally i felt like how sally from the nightmare

00:04:36.300 before christmas yeah by the end of tour stitched together yeah that's what it feels like right

00:04:41.460 held together by prayer and a whim that's all that's holding me together at that point yeah but

00:04:46.120 i love that you're you're getting more of a like a feel for what you like yeah totally and i know you

00:04:51.260 came out with an album earlier this year sophomore album yes yes love that how has the reception been

00:04:56.520 how's it been and obviously i'm assuming the tour music you're touring yeah how has that been so i

00:05:01.140 actually play the entire album and this is the first album of mine where i play the entire thing

00:05:06.600 front to back um i feel like this music brought out a different part of me as far as uh what i bring

00:05:15.400 on stage and what i want to leave people with so it can be something that subtle as um not feeling like

00:05:23.740 i have to move around the stage the entire time and feeling confident in the songs and the lyrics and

00:05:29.000 like being able to just hold the mic here yeah and just stay there and sing yeah so those subtle

00:05:34.420 things that i think people really picked up on um in my like development on stage i think it's

00:05:41.080 something that i want to start to really curate and think about with with every album love um so it's

00:05:46.920 been good also seeing what songs people like it's always the ones you think like oh this is my favorite

00:05:51.740 but they're not gonna like this yeah they're gonna like more of the other kinds of like singles

00:05:55.240 and they're eating them all up eating like the deep the ones that i thought were like that this

00:05:58.960 is for me like they're not gonna like this yeah i don't care if you like it but i'm putting it on

00:06:02.180 exactly i feel you you gotta have at least one girl this one's for me this one's just for me and

00:06:06.820 if everyone likes it cool exactly that's cool i love that and you have some crazy features on this

00:06:12.160 album what's it been like uh working with some of the artists you've worked with like childish

00:06:15.900 gambino steve lacy so how's that been childish gambino has been someone i've like always wanted to

00:06:20.780 work with so the fact that it happened so naturally and him being so interested in the

00:06:27.520 story around the song he's on um was something really special for me um because i could just tell

00:06:34.280 that he cares about nailing it and making sure it feels true and right for the song and for me

00:06:40.780 so working with him was a dream i would love to keep working with him yeah um ty is incredible

00:06:46.600 he brought something to the song that i think it really needed and literally that's the verse

00:06:52.440 that people scream at the show so like tea yeah so feeling that in person yeah um just seeing how

00:07:00.420 these songs really move throughout the world and through people is everything to me and it makes

00:07:06.580 everything else around touring worth it yeah you're like yeah right you're like okay well this one thing

00:07:11.420 yeah all right i'll keep exactly so i'm very i'm familiar with your lore um for those that aren't

00:07:17.860 though how did you get into music what did you like what kind of drew you to it initially is this

00:07:23.060 what you always wanted to do is it kind of something that you're like you know what i've found this

00:07:26.960 medium i'm gonna write it so like what's that journey like for you i think from very early on i knew

00:07:34.840 that i wanted to be in music entertainment around it in any way i possibly could i knew i loved

00:07:41.280 watching artists perform on tv seeing their videos something about it just felt as calling to you yeah

00:07:49.900 something about it felt like oh like what they're doing is living in the world in a way that like

00:07:55.600 lives on beyond them i don't know if i thought that a three-year-old but something about it just felt

00:08:01.900 um like i wanted to be a part of it yeah um and then being around music growing up like my dad

00:08:09.140 would show me different artists and play different music and just seeing how it moved him

00:08:13.920 i just feel like songs and music albums live with us through like each section of our life and i think

00:08:22.680 that's so special that we can like associate different periods and different times and emotions and

00:08:29.120 heartbreak and just different moments yeah and life are like they can be earmarked by music exactly

00:08:35.400 like certain songs or albums exactly that's very true yeah so that's something that i think that

00:08:40.200 i wanted to be a part of totally my family recognized that in me early so my grandmother put me in

00:08:45.660 guitar lessons and piano lessons love and then um that's when i started to sing with during piano

00:08:52.440 lessons and i was like oh i like this oh that's cool okay so they noticed your musicality and then

00:08:59.580 that's kind of how you found that you could sing too exactly oh i love that yeah i wish i wish i woke up

00:09:05.040 and i was like oh i'm an amazing singer i know everybody tells me that every time i have lots

00:09:11.540 of friends who are singers and artists and they're like i bet if you practice i bet you could literally

00:09:15.900 i mean maybe i mean i'm sure i feel like though ones like you or my friends who are also famous

00:09:22.440 artists too like yeah god-given talent yeah like just given to you like you just woke up like you

00:09:27.180 know what i'm saying there's like certain things i feel like you can't teach yeah because you're just

00:09:30.740 born with it which i love and admire and you're one of them must be fucking nice whatever i told

00:09:38.340 that i got hit with a funny stick and he said that's good enough send that bitch down good enough

00:09:43.680 good enough she's gonna be funny for a living and t look at us we're living in our purpose we're

00:09:48.340 walking our exactly okay so i know um the original music that you released was was unsigned and then it

00:09:54.960 was yeah once you did get signed so how did that process come about with getting signed yeah so i

00:10:00.880 was honestly so i met monty booker in chicago when i was around 15 um and that's when i started to make

00:10:09.420 my own music and with him like i kind of figured out what my style was and what i wanted to put out

00:10:15.780 um so we put that out on soundcloud i didn't think anything of it i was just i just wanted to put

00:10:22.440 music online but then people really started to gravitate towards it in chicago i liked it and

00:10:28.880 labels were calling like it honestly happened really quickly um and me being 15 at the time i don't think

00:10:36.100 i got the full scope of what all of that meant and what that type of attention meant um and how to go

00:10:44.380 about it yeah so it's kind of a blur like when i look back on it yeah so i signed it then i put out

00:10:51.540 my moon shoes ep and from there is when i started it just kind of started snowballing from there and

00:10:57.860 how has that adjustment been like that's one one thing i love to ask my artist friends is like how

00:11:02.360 it's been adjusting to being seen by so many people and your art being consumed by so many people like

00:11:08.060 how has that adjustment been for you and how do you feel now versus how you felt when you first started

00:11:13.480 i think it's a very different thing when you're releasing music at 15 with no other opinions you're

00:11:20.520 not even thinking about making money from something like this totally so then like you put on like

00:11:25.480 almost like a business hat after you're signed and like things become very uh logistical and numerical

00:11:32.360 and um i think with that sometimes you can get caught up in what all those things mean and

00:11:39.700 and still being young and wanting to put out things that feel good for you without the thought of

00:11:44.220 okay wait now i have rent now i'm 18 yeah like it has to do well yeah yeah absolutely so i think that

00:11:49.760 was the major shift for me of like this pressure of performance yeah and that translates also through

00:11:56.760 persona and um online engagement all of that yeah it all plays a role now especially exactly but

00:12:05.360 not so much when you first no no like came into the world i don't even like this wasn't even that

00:12:09.460 long ago yeah but when i dropped i dropped it on soundcloud i don't even remember having like a

00:12:15.680 posting schedule or people posting really on instagram about music or yeah totally like it was just a

00:12:21.260 completely different landscape so things are just changing quick and we just gotta like i know i know

00:12:26.840 that's true that's actually such a good point i feel like to be in that honestly you sound like a true

00:12:32.180 artist like it's like the whole reason is to make the art it's not it wasn't for anything and now

00:12:37.560 it's like you have to have both right like you have to still be in that place where you can feel

00:12:41.280 inspired and create your art but also keep in the back of your mind that you know numbers hard to

00:12:46.500 do yeah i was gonna say how has that been kind of blending those two or like kind of keeping a

00:12:51.700 good balance because obviously you want to do well of course but at the same time you don't want

00:12:55.340 to compromise the art either for the sake of doing well so how has that been i think especially

00:13:01.620 with this album i was reminded of like the more the logistical part of my brain comes into play the

00:13:11.140 more i kind of get away from like the reason i make music in the first place and i think people can feel

00:13:17.960 that i think they can because even with um putting out my song one wish which is like my best performing

00:13:25.420 song today yeah that's such a deeply personal song that i never thought would really resonate in the

00:13:31.840 way it has um so that to me was a reminder of like okay like these things that live in me is the reason

00:13:39.880 why people come to shows and they got attached to the music in the first place so it's okay to

00:13:46.100 you know think as like a business woman or think about my future but also trying to figure out that

00:13:54.980 balance of like making sure the music still feels like me and true to you yeah and what you want to

00:14:00.720 put out not necessarily what you know will chart which i feel like most artists know yeah like you

00:14:05.480 know what will chart like immediately and then artists also know yeah what they really want to put out

00:14:11.840 and what makes them feel good so that's why i was curious how that balance has been i know

00:14:15.780 all my artist friends that have come on the show have talked about like struggling with it in the

00:14:19.760 beginning and then learning how to marry the two because unfortunately you can't have one without

00:14:23.160 the other if you want to make money off your art right you have to be willing to play the game to a

00:14:27.780 certain extent yeah which is frustrating but how has it been navigating just as a young woman

00:14:33.040 like in the industry oh um i think with any industry uh we just gotta we gotta put in a little

00:14:43.820 more work than our male counterparts that's just what it is we can't show up with our hair undone

00:14:50.240 right or our makeup off right you know um but i also think that's that's a question i've been asking

00:14:57.640 myself a lot and and what that means for me and what collaborating with women and reaching out to

00:15:04.560 women like what what that does for us and the industry we exist in um like i'm sure even with

00:15:12.460 you you know i think just across all industries that's something that i don't think is going to

00:15:19.120 change but it's something that we just learn to cope with and figure out yeah um and finding other

00:15:25.320 women too that you admire or you can um kind of bounce things off of like sometimes and obviously

00:15:33.160 like again i'm just a dickhead influencer so like i've told people whenever they're like

00:15:37.580 huh do you have any advice yeah if they're like new and up and coming sometimes i tell them i tell

00:15:41.920 them like you need to make friends like make friends in this industry that that have the same job that

00:15:46.360 that have the same kind of like goals in mind because it can be very lonely and isolating like when you

00:15:52.840 have no community in the job that you currently have because obviously you have your community

00:15:58.300 hopefully from before recognition happens but then a lot of those dynamics shift too once you

00:16:04.440 enter this world and then it's like you have like a whole plethora of problems that nobody can relate

00:16:09.620 to like at all and you're like who the fuck do i talk to about this i don't know who to ask about

00:16:14.720 this so do you have like a good community did you find that to be really helpful for you yeah i found

00:16:20.820 some girlfriends that i love love but i think having those friends who are in the industry i work in is

00:16:26.960 equally as important as the ones who aren't right exactly sometimes it's nice to just see friends

00:16:32.640 and not talk about work work oh my god that's so real that's so when you're doing this when you're

00:16:38.100 dropping this when you're getting when you it's just like have being able to separate it and like

00:16:42.300 exist in both worlds it's something that i've found a lot of value in that's so true i feel that too

00:16:49.640 it's like it feels like i've told them like i've told my family i'm like it's like normal human time

00:16:54.780 yeah so like getting to do normal human things with normal human people is important yeah because

00:17:00.120 doing this like you you like genuinely once i started doing this i was like i get why people

00:17:04.800 go insane yeah i totally get it it makes a lot of sense it's way easier to yeah yeah left to my own

00:17:11.280 devices with no support system yeah who knows what i'd be doing i'd be crawling up the walls and shit

00:17:17.620 i'd be going nuts i'd be walking on all fours with my head turning all the way around

00:17:21.440 like i would be so bad for me i would be going nuts like i really would without like a strong

00:17:27.720 support system like of people who knew you before exactly this happened to you exactly i love that

00:17:33.340 you have that too and i love that you keep your family so close to you too like yeah me too i'm

00:17:37.360 always like plus four yeah exactly okay final ask two final ask plus two i love that so when i saw

00:17:43.380 your family come in i was like oh she's me yeah i know i take them i even like i'll take my sister on

00:17:50.540 because i travel you like you i'm sure you travel all the fucking time so do i um and so sometimes

00:17:55.440 i'll my sister will be like i don't have to go and i'm like yeah you do just to come and hang out

00:18:00.420 with me i just need you to be there so i can when i feel like i'm going cracky yeah i could just look

00:18:04.960 at you yeah and then i'll feel better it's good you can articulate that because i think when i was

00:18:08.940 like when i was a teenager touring and i felt those isolated moments i think i felt bad about needing

00:18:15.360 help and yeah just asking for people to be there right and like for no real reason other than just

00:18:21.920 like grounding exactly it's like keeping someone there that can that knows you yeah and gets you and

00:18:27.780 reminds you of who you really are because i feel like even when you add in now like the added layers

00:18:33.320 of like social media and like um obviously entertainment news whatever when you mix all of

00:18:39.380 that shit together it sometimes it can get really hard to like see yourself for who you really are

00:18:44.160 because you're looking at yourself through other people's lenses all the time and how they talk

00:18:47.660 about you yeah about you how has that been for you as far as like being perceived on a very large scale

00:18:53.300 i think i'm doing much better with it than i like was when i came out you and me both girl um i used to

00:19:00.060 read every comment and take everyone personally yeah yeah i think you have to have like more of a

00:19:06.600 callous attitude right and like also understand that people are coming from a whole different perspective

00:19:11.880 in life right than you are so sometimes whatever they're thinking about you or whatever they think

00:19:17.900 about the work you put out it's coming from a place that you might not even understand yeah and

00:19:22.680 that's sometimes i just have to literally put that lens ontario the wait is over the gold standard of

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00:20:24.940 it's cool it's not for everybody maybe it's not for you right now right maybe i'm not free you know

00:20:31.200 and that's like again a very subjective opinion like art is very subjective so like it's it's to

00:20:38.220 say one is good and one is bad it's just like not fair exactly and it's not said in good faith

00:20:42.920 because art is art regardless whether it's well received by a lot of people by a small part of

00:20:47.880 people by a medium-sized amount of people it's still art regardless but i get that too i feel like

00:20:52.260 especially someone like an artist like yourself is like you're putting out something very vulnerable

00:20:56.520 yeah and so to hear people say rude or callous things it's like of course it's gonna rub you the

00:21:02.260 wrong way because it's like this is coming from a very truthful place exactly and it wasn't meant

00:21:07.400 to like be perceived exactly it wasn't it was like almost like someone reading your diary right

00:21:12.860 right when they listen to your songs it's essentially what they're doing right and to hear someone be

00:21:16.560 like i don't like it right for no real reason i just don't like it you're like or what annoys me

00:21:22.300 sometimes is when people tweet like um i've been seeing a lot of this album should i listen to it

00:21:26.840 and it's like if you want to listen to it like why do you need to be told to listen to it like

00:21:32.040 that drives me crazy you know what that's actually so true right you know i'm really glad you brought

00:21:36.420 that up because sometimes like i i came out with a book this year that's what i toured and like um

00:21:42.160 it's overwhelmingly did well thank god yeah um but thank you very much and congrats on your album by

00:21:49.000 the way um your second album too but i i feel like when i recently i had like a couple someone like

00:21:56.680 took an audio from my audiobook and like clipped it and then it started doing well yeah months after

00:22:01.020 it came out yeah and then i started seeing people use it and then say should i get the book now this

00:22:07.240 is kind of convincing me you know what don't that's what i want to say but even though i don't yep but

00:22:12.500 it's like if you can't like i need people to think for themselves right sigh for themselves yeah no

00:22:17.360 exactly i'm like i know like if i want to listen to something i go and i listen to it yeah like taking

00:22:22.160 people to like it it's kind of scary yeah and like watching other people talk about it they're

00:22:27.280 like you you know what you've actually convinced me i think i'm gonna try it it's like and now i

00:22:31.520 know i like it because you told me to like it it's just like or no i know i hate it because you

00:22:36.400 tweeted exactly it's just yeah it goes both ways i always know people are coming from different

00:22:41.000 places so yeah i don't take it personally sending love and light sending love and light yeah

00:22:45.300 so speaking of social media how has it been for you do you deal with hate online do you get hate

00:22:52.020 i get i get i want to say hate but i mean people's opinions it's like trolls yeah trolls

00:22:57.180 trolls yeah i feel that i think i just try to ignore it and this thing for a second and then

00:23:01.620 i see a good comment and then i'm like there you go yeah that's what i tell people yeah i'm like

00:23:05.760 yeah i always ask i always ask my guests that because it's a varying degree of answers like

00:23:10.380 sometimes people are like oh yeah all the time so we're like not really like it's kind of just

00:23:14.000 like what you just said it's very varying mine is always and constantly but that's my choice

00:23:19.400 that's the choice i made when i decided to antagonize men for a living

00:23:23.520 i expected that deep too oh they come in deep oh yeah girl they they they've had my face on

00:23:30.600 wanted posters all over reddit forever you know i mean they hate me on that app oh they hate me over

00:23:36.240 that someone once asked me they asked me do you have you ever read your snark reddit page and i go

00:23:41.500 no yeah don't and i go i i had one of those before snarks became a thing like like it's just a bunch

00:23:48.240 of pages of men who fucking hate me like yeah no i know they don't like me over there i don't need

00:23:52.440 to go check cool yeah no like i get it like trust me i get it well that's good i'm glad to hear that

00:23:57.760 you don't get a lot of hate and just it's more so just random trolls like random stuff yeah my fans

00:24:01.940 are so thoughtful and nice even if they don't like something they're gonna say it in the most

00:24:06.520 respectful way like they're real real yeah yeah i know sometimes they're a little too real i'm like

00:24:12.480 okay oh wait okay well relax exactly i was like you're a fan i can't tell um okay well are you on

00:24:20.420 tiktok a lot no no not really not really must be nice i'm looking at you through a window but i feel

00:24:26.000 like i get the good ones through my sister oh that's good like i know if i get them the neat like

00:24:29.840 these are the ones that's good that's good no i'm happy that you're not on there trust me stay away

00:24:34.200 stay away from that i know it is very fun but it is a vortex you know whether it's for good for

00:24:40.680 better or worse honestly but there is a new kind of trend going on on tiktok so i'm that's going to

00:24:46.340 bring us to our topic we're just going to key about it but we're talking about breaking the mold

00:24:51.000 of traditional gender norms unpacking a current trend of men on the internet complaining that

00:24:55.420 modern women are quote entitled and ungrateful okay which like i mean par for the course they say

00:25:01.660 that all the time and i sometimes when people ask me like oh have you seen this like and if it has to

00:25:06.800 do with an awful man i promise i've seen it like no matter on the deepest darkest corners of the

00:25:11.600 internet i've seen it i trust me i've seen it sometimes i see it far before other people see

00:25:16.380 yeah and we're like oh my god queen have you seen this guy yeah yeah yeah in 2022 yeah i saw him in

00:25:21.720 2022 yeah unfortunately for me so this first clip is from a podcast episode called why your man should

00:25:28.820 have a say in what you wear that's a really long title i'm like first note first note out the gate

00:25:35.420 simplify right abbreviations okay two men are interviewing two women about an incident that

00:25:41.300 happened to one of the women late at night the man says aren't you so grateful your man was there to

00:25:45.540 protect you and the woman responds well no i'm capable of protecting myself the men get offended and

00:25:50.920 post this clip with the caption modern women are ungrateful for the protection of men

00:25:55.300 which believe it or not raven that is not the first time i've ever seen a man say something like

00:26:01.240 that that's probably the hundred thousand i've seen that's exact that is actually do you ever get

00:26:07.940 any misogynistic comments or anything that could be perceived as misogyny not really my fan base is

00:26:15.160 pretty gay honestly i'm like thank god you and me both girl um one thing about me the gays got me

00:26:23.760 they got my back yeah um i love that for you that's fantastic keep it that way i don't really

00:26:29.880 get those type of comments thank god honestly and is your uh fan base like real protective

00:26:34.760 very protective i love that very protective okay i love that like whenever there could be an issue

00:26:40.060 they clear it up right they're like no actually yeah i love that i love them they ride like that

00:26:46.660 they ride i'm like oh i didn't even have to tweet right i know i love when they're like it's a

00:26:52.180 real self-correcting yes system i love it like they're like one of my girls is gonna get you

00:26:56.960 they're gonna get you they're gonna correct that real fast i'll be back later to check i love that

00:27:01.740 and it feels good i'm sure it does feel it feels good because i feel like like they know my intentions

00:27:09.120 with things and that feels good okay we've built a rapport with each other in a way where they like

00:27:14.320 they know where i'm coming from well and also i feel like too it's like critical thinking is very

00:27:20.200 void and a lot of online conversations like there is no critical it's not in the room no never it's

00:27:25.100 never present yeah and it's always like i just woke up today and i don't know the context or nuance of

00:27:29.520 anything and it's frustrating because it's like whenever like people start saying shit or talking

00:27:35.240 shit like trolls whatever trying to kick things up about you that are not true saying they're not

00:27:40.160 true they'll be like well of course you're gonna say that of course there's just no winning either way

00:27:44.100 so it helps and it feels very validating when you have fans who love you and know you and have

00:27:49.400 followed you forever yeah and like followed your career for a long time for them to be like that's

00:27:53.940 not true because of this yeah like to see them kind of like listing all the things that you would say

00:27:58.980 yeah if you defended yourself right it's moved me to tears sometimes when i see that shit i'm like

00:28:04.240 thank god one of you's listening thank god one of you's listening somebody has a brain

00:28:07.540 somebody it can really make you feel insane i love like it's like i've i even said on the last

00:28:14.100 episode like that just came out with ravina i had just had ravina on love her my friend teffy's

00:28:19.200 described it as like sitting in front of a one-way mirror yeah so it's like you're like in an

00:28:23.860 interrogation room and you can hear everything people are saying but you can't see them and they

00:28:27.980 can't hear you like no matter what you say they're not listening and it feels so suffocating

00:28:33.140 that's exactly what it is so i i totally get that having fans that are writers they're like

00:28:37.740 one thing about her she's gonna she's got me you know what i mean she gets me thank god oh my god

00:28:43.040 you're all thank god one of you's listening to me thank god okay so we have these men saying women

00:28:48.060 are ungrateful for the protection of men yeah are you ungrateful for the protection of men i don't

00:28:53.680 know what that means for real yeah me either what does that mean i've talked about this before

00:28:59.320 in the same lens of men being like oh what do you like you want you hate all men what happens when

00:29:06.040 you need us yeah when someone breaks into the house or whatever yeah um i always think like

00:29:12.280 the same thing that would happen if i was alone like that's probably what's gonna happen like what

00:29:17.700 are you fucking talking about like there's just two of us now like what do you mean

00:29:20.500 like i just hypotheticals yeah it's always like and what if yeah what if i killed you like that we

00:29:27.000 could go down that route too like this is just such a pointless conversation to have yeah but i

00:29:31.560 always think um you know on a more like somewhat serious note like the few times i have seen women

00:29:37.420 get harassed in public or like whether it's like sexually harassed or just in general um do you know

00:29:43.300 how many men are around and not doing anything yeah it's true so yeah it's true um no i'm not leaning

00:29:50.720 on y'all that's for fucking sure like you guys don't do that shit normally yeah in their head

00:29:55.880 cosplaying as like don't talk to her that way yeah i also i also feel like like certain things or

00:30:04.260 certain situations don't have to turn into like this match on men's side of right of what if but

00:30:12.280 what if but what yeah i think two things can be very true at least about me right i can love the men

00:30:17.160 in my life and respect them and know that they'll show up for me but i can also acknowledge that a lot

00:30:23.960 of violence towards women is is inflicted by men right you know and that we aren't protected in a lot

00:30:29.480 of spaces yeah you know so i think the instinct for a lot of men to get defensive and get uh up in arms

00:30:39.500 yeah about some of the things we say totally and some of the things we are sad about um regarding men

00:30:45.860 it's just i don't i don't keep men like that in my life amen that's what i say i say the same shit

00:30:51.800 too i sometimes when people have told me like are you just like this all the time yeah i'm always

00:30:55.200 like well no because i don't hang out with men i fucking hate exactly i don't surround myself

00:30:59.000 with people like that i don't i don't see them on the regular i don't see them constantly like

00:31:02.420 i'm just i'm i do it online because i come across it and then i make fun of them and then i move on

00:31:07.580 yeah i know and that's i think that's the greatest irony is that like i said context and nuance yeah

00:31:13.240 missing always yeah because i've said on this show exactly i've said when women tell me if women tell

00:31:19.280 me i hate all men i don't ever correct her yeah because clearly she has a reason for feeling that

00:31:23.780 way and who am i to tell you you're not allowed to i'm not that's not my lived experience so right i

00:31:28.680 am not in a position to tell you how you can and can't feel and that's essentially the the genesis of

00:31:33.300 my intersectional feminism yeah is driven by autonomy so it's like women's right to choose

00:31:38.160 how they act how they move how they feel about things right so i said that and then all of a

00:31:43.860 sudden someone clipped that shit put it on tiktok and said well clearly she said she hates all men

00:31:48.180 stop it that's i actually didn't say that not even a little bit but it's not shocking to me that men

00:31:53.840 don't listen so it's crazy how you just like don't listen yeah it's crazy how you just like don't

00:31:59.720 listen but it's crazy how that works like and i've had so many men like try to take a very logical

00:32:05.100 approach to like well the way she chooses to be mean to men is like what about men who are not bad

00:32:10.200 men who are not genuinely not bad and don't yeah and no they aren't yeah don't care about me like

00:32:16.080 i don't bother them not even a little bit it's y'all that's committing full twitter pages to trolling

00:32:21.360 and and sliding and undermining right all women any and all like every single woman actually like to

00:32:28.620 exist ever yeah especially famous women that's why i was like when when you have women who are

00:32:32.800 singers and artists or models or whatever express any sort of opinion boundary yeah anything like

00:32:39.520 that jump down their fucking throat attack them immediately and when men do it they're like well

00:32:45.340 yeah he's got a good point he has boundaries i love that for him it's just it feels so elementary

00:32:51.780 i feel like to explain it so sometimes i'm i'm like i they're like why don't you educate them i'm like

00:32:58.100 well they didn't come out of my cooter so that's why um that's he's not my responsibility that's why

00:33:02.780 and those personalities i typically don't want to be educated hello i just think it's it's all the

00:33:07.980 debate and yeah and like undermining for who yeah that's why sometimes when they're like well debate

00:33:13.060 me well and why would i do that so my scalp can be even drier i don't want to do that waste my fucking

00:33:18.660 time i don't want to do that they don't stress you out girl no i feel like they don't stress me out

00:33:23.600 well i you know you know who stresses me out honestly you know who stresses me out more is

00:33:27.820 is when women are like well what about like if women don't like me because you get that a lot

00:33:33.400 yeah sometimes not a lot but i would say more than you would think yeah like i would say if we're

00:33:38.840 looking at a percentage it's like a hundred it's probably 80 percent men i got like 20 women 20 is a

00:33:44.480 lot i know shockingly yeah and i'm like i'm fighting for you girl i'm like and honestly if

00:33:50.480 they're white women i'm like and you're ahead of me in line what the fuck like i'm fighting for

00:33:54.540 your equality bitch and you're cutting me you're in front of me in the line and i'm fucking fighting

00:33:59.200 for you yeah it's crazy um but i know that's internalized misogyny so like i have a lot more

00:34:04.960 empathy for them i have a lot i have a lot of empathy for them but at the same time my empathy

00:34:08.940 can only extend so far before it's like okay you're sinking your own ship and i gotta keep it moving

00:34:14.200 yeah and help everybody else who's not stuck in this wheel of like oh i need men to like me i need men

00:34:19.060 to like me right i feel like decentering men's validation has freed me i was like i'm free that's

00:34:24.760 a big task it is it is it can be very that's a big task i could be very taxing yeah and i feel like

00:34:31.040 especially in the industry you're in too like i feel like that's why a lot of women band together a lot

00:34:35.520 of times because it's like it can like we talked about earlier it'd be very isolating but also like

00:34:40.540 sometimes misogyny is very subtle and it's very like minor and it's very that's like the most

00:34:47.860 sinister form of it to me because there are i think more men like that than there are men who

00:34:52.580 are like out in the kitchen yeah you know what i'm saying like yeah those men you could spot from a

00:34:57.500 mile away but there are other men who are a lot more subtle with their misogyny and those are the

00:35:02.520 men who don't like me because it flares something a little bit you know what i mean so well i'm like

00:35:09.720 par for the course they hate me we all know that okay so i'll read some of the comments on this this

00:35:14.080 says she can defend herself lol i'm starting to think these women have been overprotected and

00:35:19.420 pampered they are clueless i find it very strange when you when like women are talking to a very

00:35:26.240 outright misogynist and you're like i just don't want you to be mean to me like if that's cool yeah

00:35:30.220 and then men go well then i should be able to punch you in the fucking face you're a psycho like

00:35:35.620 hey buddy see a doctor like you need help like their first instinct is to be like and what if i tried

00:35:40.980 to kill you then what yeah i was talking about like i was talking about being nice but you're

00:35:47.780 talking about murder okay i'm like some a lot of these interactions just show more about like the

00:35:53.820 other person right like that's what i take away from it right okay you got a lot going on

00:35:59.140 and you frighten me yeah i'm actually scared you're weird and i don't like it it's giving me bad weird

00:36:05.780 okay this next one says i can protect myself like they're mocking her yeah the independent women are

00:36:11.860 too independent y'all keep this up and y'all are going to be marrying a cat and drinking henny to

00:36:17.200 sleep huh drinking henny hennessy specifically why why is that a spinster drink like every single

00:36:27.300 bitch drinks hennessy okay do you like hennessy i don't really like hennessy to be honest yeah i

00:36:33.360 don't it hurts my stomach talking about me i feel like well i just think pooping my pants is not

00:36:37.660 really my vibe that's why i don't like any kind of whiskey or anything no anything dark like turns

00:36:42.160 my stomach mine too yeah completely i don't even really like drinking that much anymore i feel like

00:36:47.700 well i'm just feel so old like mentally but i feel like i drank too much in college and that's why i was

00:36:53.260 like you just got turned off after yeah i'm good after that maybe just a season all right now i have

00:36:58.960 like a few fun a fun drink yeah like an old white mom that's almost funner yeah drunk off two glasses

00:37:06.720 of champagne that's me that's my kind of vibe too that's my girl my drink of choice is always like

00:37:12.640 champagne because it doesn't hurt me what about yours it just feels fun yeah i like champagne i love wine

00:37:17.500 like a little a little stuff a little cute stuff well i love wine yeah do you like a white or red

00:37:21.980 right really i like more of a white but i think it's because i'm i'm a baby when it comes to the

00:37:26.900 taste the red wine's intense okay i haven't drank it in a while though so maybe i need to re-up i can

00:37:32.660 see because you like champagne it's like a softer sweeter yeah lighter i like a like a riesling or a

00:37:37.860 pinot yeah red just feel grown that does feel really grown huh damn you're inspiring me now i

00:37:44.180 want to try like a red wine in a bath exactly grown grown grown hair up in a clip see he didn't

00:37:50.960 say red wine no he doesn't get it wrong he doesn't know okay this last one says this is why no one

00:37:58.380 wants to get married anymore oh god these women think they're men the united states has made y'all

00:38:03.540 delusional the united states what i gotta do with the united states what the fuck okay oh i'm assuming

00:38:10.300 because the united states is and this is not saying much um far more liberal for women yeah and that's

00:38:16.240 not saying much is it considering we're still fighting for our bodily autonomy so clearly that's

00:38:21.280 not doing much um this is why no one wants to get married anymore these women think they're men i don't

00:38:26.260 really i feel like the idea of a gender role is exhausting yeah i'm more of a capability kind of

00:38:33.700 person so i'm like i just think like whoever's best yeah should do it are these people like in real

00:38:38.680 relationships because i think that how real relationships work like there's usually some

00:38:44.340 tug and pull right and you do this because you're better at this right i do this because i'm better

00:38:48.860 at this exactly and we kind of even each other out it's really that simple isn't it people like in a

00:38:54.940 room with a tv with a mattress on the floor like that type of that's what i think right i'm like i don't

00:39:01.080 think you've ever spoken to a human woman ever ever considering that's why i've said before like my

00:39:06.140 my fiancee like he loves to cook i don't yeah so he cooks yeah and he prefers to and that's okay

00:39:13.020 because cooking is not a gendered thing yeah or not we can all learn how to boil an egg way i'm like

00:39:17.080 i'm not about to torment us you know i know torture us with my cooking and honestly i just like i get

00:39:22.280 bored yeah standing there cooking i'm like just standing there yeah like standing i feel like i'm

00:39:26.260 shackled to the fucking oven i'm like oh i'm stuck here and i want to talk i'm not a cook

00:39:30.000 i just no i'm a yapper yeah i love to yeah you keep him company while he's doing exactly i'll

00:39:35.620 entertain i'll sit and tell a story i'll sit and tell a long-winded story yeah that's you don't

00:39:42.240 like to cook either um not yet yeah not yet maybe in the future maybe in a different part of my life

00:39:49.160 but right now i just can't focus on it and then i'm like usually when i think about cooking i'm already

00:39:55.080 hungry right so like cooking and then like i know it's not about to be as good as the place next

00:40:00.080 door that i can order from carol what am i doing all this for every time i have dishes i'm like see

00:40:04.800 this is see what happens when we eat at home we gotta clean do you see what happens we have to clean

00:40:08.740 we have to wash dishes over here i'm gonna wash dishes i can walk so i'm kind of saving the earth

00:40:13.640 a little bit i can't you're so me i'll tell myself every excuse in the book i'm like if you think

00:40:19.140 about i'm actually saving money if you really think about if you really think about it i'm actually

00:40:22.020 saving money and the earth and and so many other things and also i'm i'm putting money in the hands

00:40:27.220 of people who need it yeah see i'm tipping well if anything you gotta think about all of that yeah

00:40:32.760 i'll tell myself every excuse in the book i'm like this is right and especially too with traveling

00:40:40.840 all the time it's like it's fucking hard to have food at home when i first started doing this and

00:40:44.940 leaving all the time i felt like every time i came home the first thing i had to do was empty my fridge

00:40:48.860 because all my shit you don't want a grocery shop because you got to leave again no for real it's

00:40:52.740 like impossible right literally that's why you said eating on the road yeah i felt like was a task in

00:40:57.840 and of itself too because i was so tired yeah and do you glam before shows and stuff before shows it's

00:41:02.780 a lot of work it is you know what's funny is halfway through our tour because i toured with my sister

00:41:07.360 because we have our own podcast too and so like the two of us were doing it together performing every

00:41:11.360 night together and so like we had to take turns getting glammed yeah and like halfway through i was like

00:41:17.540 i feel like every time i've watched a documentary movie yeah about going on tour there was a lot

00:41:23.540 of jack around time there's like these men are like they're they're riding scooters and they're

00:41:27.920 like playing soccer and they're like having fun no and i go and then i realized they don't have to

00:41:32.180 sit and fucking glam for two hours so i have no jack around time it's a lot as soon as i get to the

00:41:37.360 venue i have to get in that fucking chair and start getting ready immediately sound check test the sound

00:41:41.740 come back right get ready i had to do a sound check too which is so silly because all i'm doing is

00:41:46.160 sitting up there telling people to suck my wiener i shouldn't have to do a sound check for that

00:41:49.920 i don't have an in-ear for that how long were your sound checks they were probably like i'm

00:41:55.040 complaining but they were probably like 10 minutes okay yeah yours are probably an hour doing this

00:41:58.560 though how long are yours um 45 it depends like 45 what do you typically do for a sound check do you

00:42:05.140 just go do you go over every song or do you kind of just test levels with certain levels i test some

00:42:10.460 that like i'll it's kind of a vocal warm-up for me too so i like to do like some of the harder songs

00:42:16.220 okay but it's just a good moment to like get a feel for the venue true like the sound people

00:42:20.920 get it out in um yeah but like yours is real professional i'm like oh i'm like oh i have to

00:42:27.640 stand up here and be like testing testing one two three and then they go okay you're good

00:42:30.780 and then i walk back but you're right it's like it's no downtime really no there's none

00:42:35.260 did you see the city did you no i didn't i really didn't me too i'm like i didn't see shit yeah i

00:42:42.480 haven't seen i opened my eyes i came i went to i saw the inside of a hotel room yep i saw the inside

00:42:47.340 of this green room yep and i'm gonna see the inside of my eyelids because when i leave here i'm gonna

00:42:51.080 wake up in nashville that's it when i leave here i'm waking up in a different city yeah it's exhausting

00:42:56.380 it's exhausting it is it's like that i think that was like when i got home from tour yeah the first

00:43:02.000 night in my own bed you felt it oh girl i felt like i was i felt like what i believe dogs feel

00:43:07.720 when they have the zoomies you know what i mean and then they're like that's why i felt like i was

00:43:12.240 going insane again in my own bed but i was just like had tears in my eyes because i was just so

00:43:16.220 grateful to be home it's the best feeling oh my gosh i know it's like my smells yeah my clothes

00:43:22.820 the smells thing is so real i felt so keen i felt so akin to smell on tour yeah which like in every

00:43:31.200 every venue got its own thing going oh my gosh it has its own smell put a candle on your rider put

00:43:36.340 candles on your rider that's such a good idea this is my first tour doing that and i was like this

00:43:40.480 saved my life that's such a good idea oh my god i'm for sure gonna put candles on your rider

00:43:44.560 i'm like carrie because carrie's my assistant okay carrie keep note of that

00:43:47.720 that's such a good idea yeah what is on your rider what do you like having on your rider this

00:43:53.360 i did like a really this is my best rider oh t okay space heater you got that fan uh makeup remover

00:44:01.840 with the cotton pads you need both because you will run out um oatmeal that saved my life this

00:44:10.760 entire tour because we're leaving so early and most hotels have just like the hot milk or hot water

00:44:15.660 that's true just throw it in there real quick get on the bus oh so you don't even got to think

00:44:19.520 about it or stop i love i love a quick oatmeal i love a cafeteria oatmeal yeah exactly like the

00:44:25.880 lidl i love those okay so you have oatmeal just really think about the stuff you really need when

00:44:31.360 you go on tour yeah like the little stuff you know right like halfway i feel like did you change

00:44:35.960 your rider at all like halfway through if you got too many of one thing i was gonna 10 bananas in

00:44:39.980 every city and i was like i cannot get any more bananas we kept changing ours too because we're

00:44:46.640 like okay we have 2 000 ramens let's go ahead and change that one and we're like what else do we need

00:44:52.740 what else do we need yeah we were thinking we thought about that all the time too because i had so many

00:44:56.520 people on the on the tour with us right like so you're thinking about everybody's needs yeah what

00:45:00.640 everybody likes yeah and like what people don't like i was like we can't even hold any more bananas

00:45:05.420 right they're all going back get rid of them i know we had a veggie tray i think the first week

00:45:11.900 yeah then we had seven of them and we were like hey these are disgusting throw these out don't ask

00:45:15.900 for those because then you feel bad leaving stuff i know you take everything with you yeah but i know

00:45:21.080 i'm not gonna use this i'm really not just take it off just take it off oh that's so real i know we

00:45:27.560 one of our main ones because we were toying in the summer and i'm a big sweaty girl uh most of my

00:45:32.740 family is we're all sweaty girls we would have them turn the air down to like as low as it can go

00:45:38.200 but i think it's because we were touring such old and small venues like it just takes a million

00:45:43.500 years for it to turn on turn on yeah and we did one show in chicago the green room was above the

00:45:49.220 venue and it was like an apartment and it was a little scary because it was giving brothel which

00:45:53.480 is a little scary i know and then and then when we went downstairs no air not not nothing

00:45:59.120 they had those big home depot fans and that's it but then they had to turn those off once we

00:46:04.320 started performing because it'll blow the mics and you can't hear us and they're too loud

00:46:08.260 i remember like when i went on stage it felt like the everglades in that bitch i was like it is a

00:46:15.580 swampy in here and i was literally talking like if i was a patron i wouldn't sit through that it was

00:46:21.680 that bad it was that humid and hot chicago do better and they don't embarrass me and they honestly

00:46:28.840 they didn't take their cut or anything because they felt so bad they knew it was bad yeah they

00:46:32.440 were like it was so bad we're so sorry about it like it had just but then i saw people saying that

00:46:37.480 went to that show they've been to that venue like this yeah they said it's always hot the air is never

00:46:41.560 on i was like oh they lied to us but i was like i'm such a sweaty girl that i was like this is

00:46:48.560 miserable i cannot every person stayed the entire show wow and it's not like used to it right at

00:46:54.660 that venue right and i'm not like you like singing and entertaining really i'm just like sitting and

00:46:58.800 making fun of them and they sat through the entire thing which i'm grateful for still add lights add

00:47:03.600 like everything right did you ever have a performance where you're like oh my god everything's going

00:47:07.540 wrong i hate this oh going wrong or just like stressful for whatever reason enough chicago was my

00:47:13.080 sweatiest show right this tour but i wore the wrong thing too i wore like this thin

00:47:18.420 um did you wear like a long sleeve it's a long sleeve but it was the type of material that like

00:47:23.140 clings oh yeah it's like every yeah and showed every sweat spot like everything everything that's

00:47:31.620 here here everywhere everywhere it's just it's obvious just push through i come off stage there's

00:47:38.020 the song i come off stage and like kind of pat down like every and um my tour manager was like

00:47:43.980 um don't put your arms up anymore

00:47:47.580 they're like arms arms locked arms locked at the sides from now on we're swaying and arms are down

00:47:54.980 i was like oh it must be bad don't put your arms up anymore i'm like we've reached we've reached

00:48:01.540 you're all you're all oh it must be bad if they're telling me

00:48:04.120 that's crazy oh my gosh that's happened to me too i'm the sweatiest girl alive so

00:48:10.240 and it feels like it honestly also feels like it's never and no one ever sweats yeah and i when i i

00:48:17.680 remember recently i did like an interview thing but it was in studio and so i was like talking to

00:48:23.200 one other person on camera yeah and you could see my full body i'm like sitting on a stool and i had

00:48:27.580 this like it's like a two-piece like it looked like a dress but it's like a two-piece thing and

00:48:31.320 it's really tight like and it's like that silk kind of thing right and i had hair down and it was

00:48:36.500 like a turtleneck so it's like gripping my neck too and they they're like oh turn the air off i'm

00:48:41.580 like no perfect perfect i love it turn the air off and they turn it off because obviously they don't

00:48:46.520 want to hear it in the mics and so i was sweating like a motherfucker we had to keep pausing so that

00:48:52.900 i could wipe off like towel off like a boxer yeah and then i remember at the end when we wrapped

00:48:59.120 finally i was like oh thank god like i'm done yeah the sound guy came up to me was like oh can i grab

00:49:03.740 your mic and it slipped off girl i was like my sister because i had it it was blue like and i

00:49:08.660 was like i knew i was sweating through it i just knew and i was like whatever my back looks like

00:49:13.580 please don't hold that against me i have to say that all the time girl i'm like if it looks

00:49:19.200 horrifying back there i'm so sorry i'm very sorry and i was telling dayson like my sister i was telling

00:49:24.060 her it's also because that's a man taking it off me and i'm like me not wanting to get caught

00:49:27.960 don't you hold that against me don't you dare uh and i'm real i literally was like and it's

00:49:35.540 because i sweat through the sides to like armpits and everything yeah horrifying it's okay have you

00:49:39.900 thought about like getting botox and stuff to not sweat i don't feel like you sweat as nearly as much

00:49:43.400 as i do i'm nervous i nervous sweat nervous yeah that's tea i nervous but like not like definitely

00:49:49.200 my underarms but botox helps i didn't know that apparently if you get them like injected it helps

00:49:55.460 the sweat not because the pores yeah maybe something with the pores something like it's

00:49:59.180 like it freezes them and then what they do say though is that it redirects to another part of

00:50:04.120 your body because the sweat has to come out yeah i'm like what you gotta come out yeah so you still

00:50:08.260 get hot but it just redirects and i'm like okay different place yeah so because i'm more of a face

00:50:12.480 sweater okay that's like where norm like gushes out of me yeah but then i'm like well let me find out

00:50:17.980 i get the botox and it goes to my lower back how is that any better or your feet or somewhere

00:50:21.660 random then i have a different problem i have to figure out they gotta you gotta keep going back

00:50:25.840 that's how they get you exactly okay okay let me move on to this next one i'm like back to

00:50:33.980 misogyny okay speaking of sweaty um okay so in this video a woman who makes dating tiktok says she's

00:50:40.840 received a lot of comments that men would rather marry a quote traditional woman than a quote modern

00:50:46.280 woman she asked viewers if this is true and what the terms of traditional versus modern right even means

00:50:51.560 to them and these men in the comments had a lot of thoughts okay of course they did oh i'm so glad

00:50:57.600 i want to hear what men have to say all the time about everything this one says they're problematic

00:51:02.820 have no self-control super narcissistic have no skills outside of a nine to five not feminine

00:51:09.080 no self-preservation huh this is this is from a man this is a man man a man saying why he hates

00:51:15.560 modern women okay okay okay okay no skills outside of a nine to five this is just such a huge

00:51:21.480 generalization like is that not insane yeah that's insane like what am i supposed to be a fucking

00:51:28.220 cartographer like no like oh can you can you so like also teaching straight awful men the term

00:51:35.640 narcissistic it was a curse it was a curse but on this earth bitch that was one of the curses that

00:51:42.060 came out of pandora's box that's for real no one they should have never given him that word the access

00:51:47.960 to the word because she asked what's the difference to men yeah like like why if you feel that way why

00:51:54.720 and like what would be the difference between right a tradition and every time they say traditional

00:51:59.460 what do they mean by that maybe a trad wife have you heard of trad wives no they're just it's women

00:52:04.800 stay at home stay at home cooking clean okay and they don't talk much so it's like okay no talk

00:52:09.740 no talking no thoughts no nothing um it's stay at home cook clean yeah it's basically like i've said

00:52:16.280 before like men like that they say like oh i just want a homemaker i'm like no you fucking don't yeah

00:52:21.100 you want a lobotomized bitch like that's what you want you want a bitch that is just standing there

00:52:25.460 and does whatever you say agrees yeah and agrees with everything you say and has no problem with

00:52:29.360 anything you do and then cooks and cleans and serves you like a like a servant woman like that

00:52:34.500 that exists like ever yeah that's what i was like i think about i think even back generationally

00:52:41.460 like in my family and i was like every bitch in my bloodline like i don't know it's loud as fuck

00:52:46.800 like i don't know there's a lot of women in my family too so i think i'm just very used to growing

00:52:51.300 up in a women dominated like space same and my yeah i'm someone so i'm i'm indigenous pacific islander

00:52:59.780 so like i've told people before someone some someone culture prior to being colonized is very

00:53:05.200 matriarchal so we've always yeah we've always held women in very high regard a lot of pacific

00:53:10.080 islander communities are the same exact way so women have always been empowered in my purview like

00:53:15.520 in my perspective so when i started outside and was like yeah i said oh ew that's why y'all doing it

00:53:22.300 out here yuck i said oh that's not gonna work for me it's not gonna work that's not gonna work for

00:53:28.400 me oh my these don't sound like real breathing women that's what i'm saying like who are they

00:53:32.640 yeah i'ma said who are you referencing yeah like especially a lot of times they're young men so i'm

00:53:37.540 like you haven't even lived long enough to meet enough women yeah let alone a woman exactly like

00:53:42.440 the way you're describing i don't know it's so yeah y'all are scary it says i've dated too many

00:53:48.340 strong and independent women or girl bosses no more those women are not it well i can lie on the

00:53:55.380 internet too they lie all the time and nobody is like i don't hey i don't believe you like when men

00:54:01.240 say i've dated a lot of them i don't believe you i don't believe you i think you're a liar i think

00:54:06.140 pixar didn't happen you know that's how i feel yeah okay i'll just i'll do this last shit comment but

00:54:12.060 it says there's a third modern woman they're not independent or career driven but have a conflated

00:54:16.400 sense of entitlement due to online validation guilty as charged i'm the one validating them

00:54:24.320 hoes you know what i'm saying like it'll be me every day all day until the end of time that is

00:54:28.580 so that's me bitch you're looking at her to me it sounds like some jealousy i think men should be in

00:54:33.760 men's comments like hyping them up a little bit if that's what they want exactly they're like there's

00:54:38.420 a third one it's a and it's a bitch it gets validated by somebody else i'm like men men seek

00:54:44.980 validation from each other yeah all the time all the time i'm like no one needs no one needs validation

00:54:51.220 more than like men like this yeah like and they need it from other grown men never from the women

00:54:57.060 that they're allegedly liking and they want to date yeah the other day or literally like two days ago

00:55:02.440 i got back from a trip with my family and uh we were standing at the baggage claim and this old

00:55:08.920 this old ass white guy and i can say that because he was a dick but like this old ass white guy old

00:55:14.280 white guys salivate over my boyfriend like or my fiancee and my dad because they're big brown guys yeah

00:55:22.040 and my dad used to play in the nfl a long time ago and so like when they see my dad they're like

00:55:27.140 sports like immediately they gotta say something yeah they're like sports sports and so this guy

00:55:33.940 was holding my dad hostage a badge baggage claim talking about sports for god knows how long okay

00:55:38.040 and my poor dad my dad is so shy and like anti-social that my dad's just like okay he just

00:55:45.300 stares with with a smile on his face doesn't talk and they just talk at him for like 30 minutes

00:55:49.620 so this guy's like talking his ear off and eventually we were like okay we gotta go so we leave and he my

00:55:54.640 dad was telling us in the car what are you saying he's like he's talking about like baseball and he

00:55:59.280 was telling me about you know his season tickets and he was talking about like this guy's stats from

00:56:04.060 college like all this shit random all about yeah baseball players what the fuck ever yeah and this

00:56:10.220 man's like probably in his like 70s and i told my dad i said i find it shocking when men like the only

00:56:17.700 thing that makes up their entire personality is memorizing the accomplishments of men far greater

00:56:24.500 than them you're a fucking weirdo you're a loser hey you're a loser you're a big fat loser bitch

00:56:29.460 that's all they have in their brain they can't talk about anything else like you are boring as fuck and

00:56:35.480 you're a weirdo like sorry sorry and that's how all these men are like they're like again lobotomized

00:56:40.400 like they they want to like just being able to cite off the 1965 world series mbps college

00:56:49.920 you are a freak hey you're a freak hey grow another personality i'm sorry find something else

00:56:55.020 like and it's crazy how in the midst of him like telling my dad all this shit that nobody cares

00:57:00.480 about um he made like a bunch of transphobic comments too how did that slip in girl i don't

00:57:05.580 know i said huh like what the fuck you're talking about the world series and how did you get there

00:57:09.880 oh i know why because like my dad was wearing a hat that was a yankees hat the yankees are in the

00:57:15.060 world series my dad doesn't give a fuck about baseball he just liked the color which honestly

00:57:20.160 would have been so funny if he said that i'm a fan i just dig the color it's pretty much it but he

00:57:24.920 talked to him about the yankees for 30 minutes and uh he was like yeah next thing you know they're

00:57:28.420 gonna make they're gonna make them in in in different colors like for trans people what what yeah what

00:57:36.480 would that even look like and what does that have to do with baseball like why and then i told my

00:57:40.660 dad i said that man is so old i could have pushed him over and he would turn to dust fuck you bitch

00:57:44.680 like get out of here you geriatric fuck like i didn't even say like girl and then i'm like and

00:57:51.280 then you expect me to not make fun of you when i get in the car i'm going to yeah i was like i'm not

00:57:55.920 surprised that that trans people scare you because you've been alive since i'm sure you were in grade

00:58:00.700 school with jesus christ so sorry the world looks a lot different than it did back when you lived in

00:58:06.360 jerusalem you fucking old bitch that's why it makes me so mad i get so angry at old white people

00:58:12.020 who act like that like it makes me so mad i feel like personally attacked i said girl don't worry

00:58:19.300 about trans people get your affairs in order because one fart and you're gone you're done you better

00:58:25.120 get out of my face immediately i hate old people i don't hate old people i hate old bigoted people

00:58:31.220 yeah that's why but my point being like me going on a complete and utter tangent my point being like

00:58:40.040 men like that that is a man who grew up who constantly seeks the validation of other men

00:58:43.720 like i said and look you are our father time and you still care what men think about you

00:58:49.780 what a prison that must be a prison you really gotta feel bad really like it's just truly like that is

00:58:55.480 sad like and i and i think i i talk about that too i'm like the irony of men getting so mad at me

00:59:00.300 like like very specific awful men getting so pissed off at what i do is that if you fought with me

00:59:05.800 it could free you too yeah like it hurts all of us it doesn't just hurt women it doesn't just hurt

00:59:10.600 you know gay people trans people non-binary people it's everybody it hurts everybody including men

00:59:14.880 yeah and i was like it must be a prison to like feel like you have to perform every time you see

00:59:18.720 other men yeah that look big and strong yeah weird you're a big freak you're a weirdo

00:59:24.600 yeah what sign are you what do you think um i don't know an aquarius i love aquarius

00:59:37.020 really well grace women i love aquarium women i would say that about any sign when it comes to men

00:59:42.400 i'm like i hate them all i'm a virgo right oh cute i love y'all i know i love i love i love

00:59:50.700 aquarium women i i get along with aquarium women pretty well i would say that's good but to be

00:59:55.780 honest i feel like i get along with all the signs yeah it's just men where i'm like no you know what

00:59:59.880 i mean i love y'all because i feel like you'll bring so much like structure to planning yeah planning

01:00:06.140 real life right you bring us like down yeah okay aquariums are always so creative yeah like that's

01:00:14.640 why it makes a lot of sense that you're an artist like they're so creative and the way you see things

01:00:18.700 and the aquariums always dress fucking awesome and they're always like your taste in music and art

01:00:23.840 and everything film what else top notch oh my gosh what else do you like about me

01:00:28.360 okay just to wrap us uh i know we talked about all kinds of things but what i would love to to end on

01:00:40.220 would be if you have any advice for any up-and-coming artists especially young women

01:00:45.800 and just people in general who feel maybe like i feel like this past year especially has been

01:00:52.340 a really big year for women in music which is fantastic and i'm so happy that you're in there

01:00:57.460 too i'm so excited about that but like yeah what would you say is your best piece of advice for people

01:01:03.120 who are pursuing especially because you started so young yeah and like like how to navigate it or how

01:01:08.580 to like stay close to their art form anything like that that's tough um i think the biggest thing to

01:01:16.460 keep in mind is that they're gonna be a lot of voices and opinions and people who are older than you

01:01:22.640 who you think are smarter than you um but really zero zeroing in on like what you want in your voice

01:01:32.800 and the things that make you feel good out of music and like holding on to that totally and not

01:01:39.040 letting all the other things cloud that i know that sounds like a big word salad that a lot of

01:01:44.600 people may say yeah but i think it's crucial absolutely and even just keeping family close

01:01:50.700 is something that has helped me a lot a lot a lot a lot even moving from chicago to a whole

01:01:56.860 another city where i don't i didn't really know anybody and you can just easily get lost and get

01:02:02.600 swayed this way or that way that's so true but i think like channeling that inner voice and like

01:02:09.880 making it for me it's getting clearer and clearer the older i get and i'm able to hear it a little

01:02:14.800 better thankfully yeah which is a wonderful thing and i'm glad you're listening to it too yeah because

01:02:19.580 i feel like women especially who like grow up essentially in the industry that you're you're in

01:02:25.160 currently is like um they almost get taught and trained to not listen to that voice because

01:02:30.880 like you said it's easy to be moved yep so i think that's a wonderful thing and i do want to say too

01:02:35.680 that i think you are fantastic and i think your art is so beautiful and i'm excited to see where you

01:02:40.640 keep going i know you're on a real trajectory right now but i'm very excited for you and i'm

01:02:45.080 on the ground floor where the fuck were you at exactly you weren't here with me tune in with me

01:02:51.360 thank you so much for coming on the show i think you're fantastic and amazing and so talented and

01:02:56.820 for those who don't know where can they find you you can find me on everything at raven lenae

01:03:01.880 period and you can stream all of raven's music on all streaming platforms as well yeah and you are

01:03:07.700 going on tour again yeah in november days yeah how exciting for europe yep yep yep we have a lot of

01:03:14.860 european listeners get into it europe yeah i'm like you're saying europe thank you all so much

01:03:21.560 for tuning in thank you to my amazing guest raven for coming on for those of you that don't remember

01:03:26.380 or aren't familiar new episodes of the comment section drop every wednesday you can stream the

01:03:30.580 audio on all streaming platforms or you can watch the video exclusively and for free on spotify which

01:03:34.980 is perfect because raven lenae's whole entire discography is also on spotify you can listen to that

01:03:40.340 you can watch this episode and then you can go see her on tour in europe if you would like and thank

01:03:45.160 you all so much for tuning in thank you to my amazing guests and i'll see you next week bye

POST-TOUR ZOOMIES Ft. Ravyn Lenae ｜ Episode 144

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