The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - MATTEO LANE CAN SING AT YOUR WEDDING OR FUNERAL (Ft. Matteo Lane) ｜ Episode 239

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00:00:37.300 on a new season of heaven bent a story straight from the bible belt of british columbia a lot of

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00:01:23.060 Occasionally when I will look at a comment or two, my favorite is if someone says something

00:01:25.880 mean i love when there's a spelling error me too because then i'm like now this is just i'll always

00:01:32.760 write whatever word they meant to say like a there there there yeah you put a little asterix

00:01:36.100 next to it hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of the comment section show

00:01:50.500 starring me your fave everybody knows me who cares about me on to the guest today we have

00:01:55.360 the iconic, the legendary, the hilarious, Matteo Lane.

00:01:59.100 Hello.

00:02:00.760 So excited to be here.

00:02:02.420 Welcome to the show.

00:02:03.780 Thank you.

00:02:04.440 We could just keep talking about dry eye, but I prefer-

00:02:06.700 And we were getting into dry eye.

00:02:08.260 We were.

00:02:08.840 We can come back to it.

00:02:09.700 Yeah.

00:02:10.340 I'm happy to.

00:02:11.540 Hey, y'all.

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00:03:16.880 both online and in store so whether you're looking for barely there coverage or full glam

00:03:21.380 Sephora can help you find your match me and Mateo have been passing ships I've been trying to get

00:03:25.700 you on the show for a minute I know I'm also rarely in Los Angeles by the way I know that's

00:03:29.780 what I that's what your team has told me yes and that makes sense because I I feel and by my team

00:03:35.320 it's Nick he's not in LA he's not coming yeah he's not here stop asking um I literally feel

00:03:44.220 forcibly bi-coastal

00:03:45.800 because I do work

00:03:46.540 in New York a ton.

00:03:47.480 Yeah.

00:03:47.820 But I feel the same way

00:03:48.660 when I get a lot of ops

00:03:49.640 from New York.

00:03:50.120 I'm like,

00:03:50.380 I'm not there.

00:03:51.720 We'll come on

00:03:52.000 my Nix podcast sometime.

00:03:53.160 I would love to.

00:03:53.860 We would have a lot of fun.

00:03:54.660 In fact,

00:03:55.180 that's actually a perfect segue

00:03:56.340 because I've been

00:03:57.500 seeing a ton of your clips

00:03:58.980 where you have other comedians

00:04:00.740 and you guys answer

00:04:01.780 like relationship questions.

00:04:04.200 Sometimes.

00:04:04.620 Oh,

00:04:04.860 like when I do my advice specials

00:04:06.320 on stage?

00:04:07.060 Yes.

00:04:07.080 Oh yeah,

00:04:07.500 for sure.

00:04:08.000 And I was like,

00:04:08.600 and I saw one with you

00:04:09.660 and Nikki Glaser

00:04:10.260 who I love.

00:04:11.260 I do love her.

00:04:11.880 She's amazing.

00:04:13.180 And I was like, okay, so when I see Mateo, I'm going to ask, can you please let me come do one of those?

00:04:17.900 A hundred percent.

00:04:18.360 I'd love to.

00:04:18.960 Are you in New York on the 16th?

00:04:21.720 This month?

00:04:22.440 Yeah.

00:04:23.000 No.

00:04:23.540 Oh, well, we're going to-

00:04:24.140 I'll be in Florida.

00:04:24.920 Okay.

00:04:25.400 We're in Florida.

00:04:26.260 Ooh.

00:04:26.680 Orlando.

00:04:27.720 Fine.

00:04:30.500 I will, we're going to be, we're trying to do it now to replace my Sunday, long story short, we're going to be doing weekly, but we have to do them all in one night.

00:04:37.900 So I think the next one we'll film might be in November.

00:04:40.640 We'll just, we'll exchange.

00:04:41.600 and i may be in new york in november okay okay come on me literally i'm like we'll do google cal

00:04:46.700 like me me syncing it now great on the live on the show gotta put you on the spot you know okay

00:04:51.160 that's fine you're welcome just in case it was a no it's a real gun to the head i would love that

00:04:54.880 that would be fun it's fun i mean the good thing about it is you can't prep for any of the questions

00:04:59.000 and so you're just like all right who has a question depending on who the comic is to more

00:05:03.400 hands will raise or not raise like nikki lots of hands raised then keith robinson got on and

00:05:07.720 they're all scared of him so no hands went up i was like keith you have scared away the audience

00:05:11.820 and that's so funny because i am split down the middle those two people if you would think i would

00:05:16.820 say in terms of intimidation i would say it's a real split divide you know what i mean like i do

00:05:21.580 have a healthy dose of fear but there are a lot of people who would like to know you know what i mean

00:05:25.580 my thoughts i guess it is intimidating like you have to ask a question and it's kind of personal

00:05:31.580 and then obviously we're not we don't ever make fun of we i don't like being mean yeah it's like

00:05:36.180 it's it's better to have the audience ask you because i only i don't do any crowd work i just

00:05:40.540 when i'm touring it's just me and my hour i've worked period but there's every once in a while 0.89

00:05:44.960 it's fun to do and so i thought instead of being like your hat looks stupid i want like them to

00:05:48.760 ask us the question you know and that's fair i i think that's really fun when i've done any sort 0.93

00:05:53.920 of live podcasting or live comedy i've done like we do a lot of like our audience submission thing

00:05:59.880 and then we pick them we read them and then we kind of talk to them live and i always say in

00:06:04.520 the beginning because i we put this on the sheet where they filled it out um that i consent to this

00:06:10.320 being read on stage and so then i repeat that to the audience and i'm like that means i'm going to

00:06:15.580 be holding your hand while i do this right and i may give you a razz or two but it's gonna be fun

00:06:20.520 yeah we're gonna have a good time and honestly it's really fun and i've watched it i'm like

00:06:23.860 watching the clips of you guys doing it i'm going oh man that'd be awesome like that's me well

00:06:29.200 manifesting come do it that would be a good time thank you i appreciate that and it's on camera

00:06:33.940 so now you can't take it back so that's perfect this will be used for court yeah i will see you

00:06:38.380 in civil court okay um but on to a better segue i would love to talk obviously you are a very funny

00:06:44.900 very awesome comedian i would love to know just initially how you got into comedy like that's my

00:06:49.260 favorite thing to ask stand-ups because everybody kind of has a similar but different entrance into

00:06:53.500 the world so well i didn't i i've said this a few times but it's i've been doing stand-up 18 years

00:06:58.560 now and you're 25 how was that 25 how is that after three hair transplants I better look at

00:07:04.420 least 29 um when you're younger uh especially at that time I didn't have access to seeing any gay 0.56

00:07:11.660 men doing stand-up like it wasn't available to me yeah and it's kind of sad that like there's still

00:07:17.240 not like a household gay man who's a 100% stand-up comic yeah in the way that like Ellen or Rosie or

00:07:24.140 wanda or even like chris rock richard but you know so it's cool to see all these like young

00:07:30.320 queer artists just popping up over the past 10 years like in an incredible way long story short

00:07:34.520 so i was just like oh well stand-up's not for me but i have a very funny family my mom's family's 0.99

00:07:38.820 ridiculous i have like 34 first cousins they're all italian mexican everyone's screaming and 0.98

00:07:43.220 yelling at each other so it's kind of like you're growing up with the like environment of comedy 1.00

00:07:47.240 right but i was doing uh i think i think honestly watching people like kathy griffin and margaret

00:07:53.240 Cho is like the first we've had Margaret on the show I'm obsessed with Margaret Cho she's so funny

00:07:58.460 I'm obsessed with her yeah she's truly like one of the coolest people ever too like chill yeah

00:08:04.500 she's so normal yeah I know she everywhere she goes she has her little dog too which I love she

00:08:09.560 always does I know I've done like a bunch of shows with her and I said nothing because I was so

00:08:14.220 like in awe of her and then finally we were doing some show together last year and I was like

00:08:17.900 Mateo you have to say something to her so I was like Margaret I was like I just want to you know

00:08:21.940 like i'm a really big fan and i've been together in the same room and i've never really said

00:08:24.460 anything because i don't know what to say to you and like i listen to you my whole time like just

00:08:27.740 that thing where you just diarrhea of the mouth and then i her friend like challenged me because

00:08:31.900 i go i know every single one of your jokes by heart he goes really what's your favorite one

00:08:35.060 and without missing a beat i just turned to her and i said i did this whole bit from which is

00:08:40.900 like miss cho is it true the network asked you to play the part of yourself on your own television

00:08:44.920 sitcom and asked you to lose weight the producer grabbed the mic and said there is no truth in

00:08:49.300 that i was so hungry and she laughed but yeah but then i once you started my my friend anais was

00:08:58.340 dating a really funny comic named marty de rosa and i was like i want to try stand up i had no

00:09:02.600 idea what that meant yeah and this is in chicago and he was like okay he's like you can do three

00:09:06.660 minutes on my show so 34 members of my family came watch me bomb and you're so me i know that 0.86

00:09:11.820 was me with my first five on caleb's show i took 30 fucking people and i was like come watch me 0.97

00:09:17.560 mom but that's what you don't know yeah i mean it went well it went well i'm i'm being silly 0.86

00:09:22.620 but it was fine yeah mine was fine but i just i knew i liked it and then i met i finally met

00:09:27.320 another gay comic named bill cruz and i didn't i was like oh my god they exist yeah and uh i just

00:09:33.440 became obsessed i did it every night you do like four open mics a night monday to monday

00:09:37.300 and then i got i was an illustrator at the time professionally for tv commercials and fashion ads

00:09:42.220 fucking cool and then i just kept going in new york look at you an artist through and through

00:09:48.420 honestly you have the look for that accent for the french accent yeah for the french accent yeah 0.95

00:09:57.760 i really like it works italian like lebanese i could just kind of fit anywhere near the

00:10:03.340 mediterranean yeah you're a real swiss army knife kind of but just like pasta all the places that

00:10:08.620 pasta thrives yeah that's so funny i'm like i think that's really funny what you said about

00:10:14.420 your family too uh because i i i am not a stand-up but i i am funny and i do think i attribute that

00:10:21.040 all the time to my family as well i'm always like i honestly i think and let me know if this was the

00:10:25.600 same for you but like for me growing up like telling i had the toughest critics like my mom

00:10:30.700 was a real like i'm not gonna laugh if it's not funny so like one of the running jokes we have

00:10:35.480 in my family that I like have talked about on my other podcast with my sister as well was like

00:10:39.460 my brother um you know how they'll send out those emails for like America's Got Talent or American

00:10:44.980 Idol and they'll be like seat fillers like it's like oh you want to come watch the show like come

00:10:49.480 get this ticket whatever my brother got that in an email once when he was very young I think like

00:10:54.020 11 and he was like oh my god they want me to go on America's Got Talent like he thought it was like

00:10:59.460 an actual invite to the show and then my mom was like no unfortunately this is a seat filler thing

00:11:04.080 and he was like okay well either way i think i do want to try out for the show like he was like

00:11:08.440 okay whatever as a what yeah as a stand-up like he was like i think i'm gonna do stand-up how old

00:11:14.240 was he 11 girl yeah like maybe 12 you know the word about your legos like talk about well that's

00:11:23.240 the funniest part is because i wasn't this is one of the few times in my life i can think

00:11:27.200 where i'm glad that camera phones existed at the time because my sister recorded it because i wasn't

00:11:32.420 home i was like i was out doing something at his first stand-up like he was like i have a bit i

00:11:38.620 want to workshop it and he like set up all his stuffed animals as like an audience and then there

00:11:42.900 was my mom and my sister and my sister was like not going to say anything she was just going to

00:11:46.640 record the whole time so when he first starts the stand-up like he's literally only talking about

00:11:52.580 the show the office that's it and it's almost like because he just started watching the office

00:11:58.020 and so he thought it was relatable i'll give him that yeah so he starts just basically just giving

00:12:03.600 you a rundown of the office like what goes on in the show and then at one point my mom interrupts

00:12:09.920 and this is the best part of the video because she interrupts she goes pause is this stand-up

00:12:14.520 or is this a retelling of the office you gotta tell jokes i'm not hearing any jokes so in relation

00:12:22.740 to please i want to i need to know the rest of this did he make it to the show did he win did

00:12:27.760 get the golden buzzer and what if i was gonna say and what if it ended with him getting the

00:12:31.100 golden buzzer i would take a picture right now and frame it to see the reaction of my face

00:12:37.820 because you know what why not yeah yeah i want to hear an 11 year old run down the office

00:12:43.120 tell me about pam yeah he's quite literally just telling you a recounting of the office and he's

00:12:49.240 not even really making fun of anyone in it he's just kind of letting you know and then as my mom

00:12:53.040 was like i don't hear any jokes like not one and then my brother my sister kept recording so my

00:12:59.740 brother sits down in our like one of the rocking chairs we had we had like a lazy boy thing and he

00:13:03.940 was sitting in it and you can tell he's so pissed off like he's listening because he's not one 0.98

00:13:08.640 critique went in here he was like you don't know what the fuck you're talking about and that was 0.97

00:13:12.480 hilarious and he wanted to be george carlin off the bat yeah yes like he wanted like not only is 0.97

00:13:18.320 there no let me get i need your opinion and your opinion should only be that i'm going to win 0.96

00:13:22.580 you don't know fucking anything mom like that's literally how my brother was looking at her and 0.96

00:13:28.700 he was just like like not even listening to the criticism and then my sister was like do you want 1.00

00:13:33.520 to try again like do you want to try again my sister says that and then my mom goes no he needs

00:13:38.840 to practice more you need to practice what's your mother's name noelle i'm sending noelle a muffin

00:13:43.280 basket i agree with no because i grew up my aunt cindy was very much like that really like my

00:13:48.580 comedy idol i love my i was just about to ask if you had my aunt cindy she's the funniest person

00:13:53.140 i know there's a video of us my uncle mike somehow got a camcorder uh when we were younger and me and

00:13:58.460 my cousins are lit we all grew up next to each other we're all the same age we all talk every

00:14:01.680 single day and my he was interviewing each just one by one like what do you want to be when you 0.99

00:14:06.520 grow up and we're just like my cousin kelly said winnie the pooh like clearly we're idiots 0.98

00:14:09.680 and then they get to my cousin megan who clearly had just had a temper tantrum and so she's just 0.96

00:14:15.140 like that and my uncle was like Megan where do you want to be when you're old and she goes

00:14:18.560 nothing and my aunt Cindy in the back room goes yeah and you're on your way there

00:14:21.800 that's the kind of person when we were when I was six or like seven we went to go see beauty

00:14:28.600 and the beast right it was a big thing beauty so we're sitting in the movie theater me and all

00:14:32.560 8,000 of my cousins and I'm right next to my aunt Cindy the second the beast turned back into a man

00:14:37.760 And my aunt Cindy said out loud, oh, I don't like his nose.

00:14:44.820 Other people can hear you.

00:14:46.400 Oh, she doesn't care. 0.89

00:14:47.900 The amount of fights she's gotten into in public. 0.99

00:14:50.100 The amount of, I just love my aunt Cindy.

00:14:51.740 She's funny.

00:14:52.300 I love people like that in the family when you're like, you're, that's kind of my grandpa,

00:14:56.140 Loki.

00:14:57.160 Also my brother.

00:14:58.120 My brother is unintentionally one of the funniest people I've ever met.

00:15:01.680 Aren't those more rewarding though?

00:15:03.120 Yes.

00:15:03.480 It's so much better.

00:15:04.340 it's like my brother has like this insane uh confidence but also like he's such a know-it-all

00:15:11.660 too so it's one of those where it's kind of like well i mean you could be doing evil things but

00:15:15.600 here you are just being annoying telling us about the office that's worse he literally my brother i

00:15:21.600 i've been telling this story this is recent this was literally like a year ago um my brother's now

00:15:26.440 in his 20s he was once like my this is not funny but this is just the context of the story let me

00:15:32.740 when someone says this is not funny it's funny setting people up for failure oh low key but i'm

00:15:38.600 just saying this is the context my grandmother had recently passed away okay that's not fun my

00:15:42.680 paternal grandmother you're right exactly so basically my dad was going to the funeral but

00:15:48.840 he was going to take my brother because i had to work and my mom and sister work with me so they

00:15:52.120 had to come with me we were basically dividing and conquering my mom is like telling my brother 0.93

00:15:56.300 the rollout of what's going to happen she's like hey so you're going to leave with with daddy on

00:15:59.780 this day and blah blah blah and then he's just listening he's like okay and my sister's there

00:16:03.740 too again it's the three of them I don't know what happens when the three of them are together

00:16:06.740 something evil happens like something hilarious happens and I'm not there that's why I think it's

00:16:10.300 evil but anyways they're talking and then my brother's just like listening and he looks kind

00:16:15.320 of down and my mom goes are you okay and he's like yeah I'm okay and then she's like what are

00:16:20.040 you thinking about we're talking about the funeral just again for a reminder he goes

00:16:24.480 honestly i need a cord for my other monitor i was like thinking about how i'm gonna get

00:16:30.440 another cord for my monitor he's talking about his computer at home

00:16:33.300 i play fortnight i'm literally thinking to myself i'm like my brother's like yeah no one

00:16:39.380 asked me but i'm also going through a hard time i kind of want to meet your brother

00:16:44.220 he sounds just he is the funniest silliest goose who's ever lived and like my i think that

00:16:51.260 that is a perfect example because my brother is unintentionally hilarious but my my entire family 0.59

00:16:56.500 has been like yours where they've been like do you does your family love to like playfully roast

00:17:00.500 each other and like make fun of each other playfully roast each other we rip each other to

00:17:04.600 shreds are you joking my uncle well i was maybe stepping there just in case because that's what

00:17:08.700 mine is too my uncle mike he would i mean roasting my uncle mike when we would have christmas

00:17:14.340 my the first thing we would do there was like my mom's one of seven well technically one of 14 but

00:17:18.440 We can get to that later.

00:17:19.460 And so we've got like a million cousins. 0.94

00:17:21.440 And the first thing we do is who does the best impression of how ridiculous my Uncle Mike brushes his teeth. 0.90

00:17:26.780 And it's usually my cousin Megan. 0.66

00:17:28.020 Or like he broke his foot one time, which was the bane of our existence for that month.

00:17:31.760 And we were sitting at the kitchen table and he saw this woman run by.

00:17:35.100 And he was like, I wish I could run.

00:17:36.560 And we were like, you never run.

00:17:38.000 He's like, this family doesn't support me.

00:17:40.460 We just all yell at each other.

00:17:41.800 But we all know it's for fun, you know?

00:17:43.580 yeah we used to be really big on making prank phone calls and recording them to play for my

00:17:47.880 aunt cindy later we'd call the pasta pro and my cousin brian would be this character named linda

00:17:52.180 mcguire and so we go hey i had a couple of questions about the pot like yes what color is

00:17:58.060 it it's no matter what they said it was a problem well it's red i'm allergic to red let me just like 0.62

00:18:02.060 this sounds like a made for tv family no we are pretty ridiculous my grandpa's blind he's running

00:18:06.320 into walls we're like there's a wall anyways i was telling you like you know just the kind of 0.66

00:18:10.700 family grew up and yeah i feel the same way too like my my entire family is so like

00:18:16.640 we like roast each other in a way that i feel like has hardened my shell right i've been very

00:18:22.840 like i joke all the time i'm like my skin's made of vibranium if you guys grew up in my family like

00:18:27.460 like that's honestly why when i like got big on tiktok for making fun of men and like being

00:18:31.440 being mean to them uh and i use quotes because what is mean like it's all relative in my opinion

00:18:37.060 but like i literally got when they would make fun of me back obviously they would be like this i

00:18:42.040 would always get asked like does it bother me like of getting made fun of my looks whatever

00:18:45.700 and i was like no and honestly i think i would be a huge hypocrite if it did bother me because i

00:18:50.760 make fun of other people's looks like i have to learn how to take a joke if i'm going to tell

00:18:53.540 jokes yeah uh but also they're not funny so that kind of works in my favor yeah and i was like but

00:18:58.480 also like i really don't think you guys know how to hurt feelings i really don't think you guys

00:19:04.580 understand what that means even well usually people in comments go for like the low bar like

00:19:09.760 the easiest thing yeah you know what i mean or like if someone like my favorite is like i was

00:19:14.380 walking back the other day i was i went and saw spider-man and so i was like it's a nice night i'll

00:19:18.340 walk back i'm in new york so i'm walking this drunk guy wasted uh is running from his girlfriend

00:19:23.620 i don't know what the situation was she was on the phone with her friend she's like jenny he just 1.00

00:19:26.760 won't stop and he's like running and when he ran past me he literally just goes you are a faggot 1.00

00:19:32.160 And I laughed so hard 1.00

00:19:35.560 Because I was like you

00:19:36.500 I yelled back

00:19:37.480 I said you're literally 1.00

00:19:38.600 Running from pussy right now 1.00

00:19:40.800 I'm the faggot 1.00

00:19:42.980 Sure I've got nice shoes 1.00

00:19:44.360 You're running from pussy 1.00

00:19:46.140 Jenny he called him a faggot 1.00

00:19:47.820 I mean it was so 1.00

00:19:48.800 I laughed so hard

00:19:49.160 Also so drunk but not drunk enough

00:19:50.960 To forget that I need to call you a slur

00:19:53.660 Like not that drunk

00:19:56.200 I'll tell you what

00:19:56.800 And also like as an insult

00:19:57.820 And I'm in a rush

00:19:58.500 But not that much of a rush

00:19:59.900 Oh no no

00:20:00.440 I would have

00:20:00.900 But I was like, Cinnamon Popcorn, I'm going to watch this. 1.00

00:20:03.320 But I, like, you're going to call me a faggot. 0.99

00:20:05.200 I'm like, and? 1.00

00:20:06.400 Like, what? 1.00

00:20:07.160 Well, all those kids in high school that call me a faggot was like, they weren't wrong. 1.00

00:20:10.340 They were on to something. 1.00

00:20:11.840 Okay.

00:20:13.640 Clocked.

00:20:14.040 And?

00:20:15.260 Yeah.

00:20:15.760 Which feels very, I feel like, like you said, low-hanging fruit.

00:20:19.180 No pun intended with me.

00:20:20.380 Yeah. 0.99

00:20:21.980 That's also how I feel, too, about men who make fun of me because it's always fat and ugly. 0.99

00:20:26.560 Or some variation of fat and ugly. 0.97

00:20:28.760 It's never anything past that.

00:20:30.020 but like one time I told a guy who had um he had gyno but specifically because he was taking 0.79

00:20:36.020 steroids that's important context I know I know it's like when um their nipples like sag like

00:20:40.680 they like yeah if you can believe it happens to do to take a lot of gear a lot of roids 0.66

00:20:44.900 yes girl like teats they sag like teats and I and that's the joke I made because what I said was 1.00

00:20:52.400 I was like your nipples look like you were the village wet nurse that's a clock bitch like you 1.00

00:20:58.920 want to talk about a funny ass joke that's funny joke that was really good and then i i was like 1.00

00:21:02.300 i said that joke and i that's like i think a more creative way of calling someone ugly 0.95

00:21:08.180 in some regard but just calling me fat and ugly is just calling me fat and ugly no i stopped

00:21:12.820 looking at comments because it's just like it can actually like stifle your creative process

00:21:16.720 and so that's a really good point it does because then if you start overthinking like

00:21:20.760 you know and i'm not that kind of comic anyways i'm not like let me get them you know um but if

00:21:26.360 there occasionally when i will look at a comment or two my favorites if someone says something

00:21:29.780 mean i love when there's a spelling error me too because then i'm like now this is just i'll always

00:21:36.660 write whatever word they meant to say like a there there there yeah you put a little asterix

00:21:40.020 next to it yeah and i thought you meant that one's possessive you know sorry i interrupted

00:21:46.160 please continue yeah go ahead what are you saying i'm gay okay and that's a really good point though

00:21:52.440 about comments stifling creativity that's tea it does i've started i've stopped looking at comments

00:21:57.260 as of recently it's something new i'm trying out actually well because it's like people want to see

00:22:01.120 the good comments but then the bad comments it's like you have to accept all of them it's like or

00:22:05.240 just don't like that's such a good way of looking at it make your artwork and there's no way you're

00:22:10.720 going to win everybody over people won't like you or you don't represent me or you're not the right

00:22:14.400 thing or that's not funny or yeah and it's like oh okay well but that person thought it was funny

00:22:19.060 so who's who's right and who are you right it's one of those i i feel like um it does feel like

00:22:24.800 that with comedy sometimes right where it's like well clearly this isn't for you you know what i

00:22:29.520 mean every pod has its lid i know and i don't think i've ever left a comment on anything like

00:22:33.760 on a youtube video but all my youtube videos are like who would win the scarlet witch or dr doom 0.86

00:22:38.180 like i'm such a fucking loser but you know or listening to maria collison master class in 0.90

00:22:42.720 juilliard but i you know i am like at this point if like you're watching something you're like 0.99

00:22:47.200 viscerally upset about it i'm like well that that feels like you're that's about you yeah you got

00:22:51.560 something else going on there's a plethora of there's so much there's an unlimited amount of

00:22:55.160 entertainment and at our fingertips literally it's like just sort of search for what you like

00:23:00.960 if i popped up and you don't like it okay that's fine but like you you watched it so on some level

00:23:09.420 you were interested i guess the worst thing i just love i really love your energy about it you're

00:23:14.940 just like okay well it just feels like like i've just been made fun of since i was a kid for being

00:23:20.640 gay so at this point i'm like god i'm 40 years old like yeah i'm so boring through this like

00:23:25.420 let me just live yeah for real that's that was actually a great segue into my next question 0.85

00:23:30.180 for you because i was gonna ask like i'd like you to tell me not be honest with me well

00:23:35.980 depends on who you ask um remember the other week when i was talking about how excited i am

00:23:43.160 for Lululemon's new fall collection dropping September 8th.

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00:24:48.540 Hey, y'all.

00:24:49.400 I want to talk to you guys about Outer Banks, the official podcast,

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00:27:42.440 I was gonna ask, since you,

00:27:43.740 I know you've been doing comedy for a while

00:27:45.000 and obviously now the internet and comedy like intersecting.

00:27:48.160 Sure.

00:27:48.260 I always ask a lot of my stand up friends this question, too, because especially those of those of them who have been doing it like you offline far longer than online.

00:27:56.780 Right. So it's like I'm so curious your thoughts on how the Internet has kind of intersected with comedy.

00:28:01.460 Do you think there's good in it, bad in it, both?

00:28:04.120 Well, I think it's both. I mean, look, before I started posting in 2021 and there's a few parts to this, I would say the good part is I would have never had a chance otherwise.

00:28:15.280 no one would book me no one would put me on nothing i mean i tried everything under the sun i was

00:28:20.740 living in an attic i was homeless basically i mean i was like the only thing keeping me alive

00:28:25.740 was the comedy seller and i could pay for rent and food yeah and everything else was like that

00:28:30.240 was it and once i started putting stuff online i removed the gatekeepers because the problem when

00:28:35.820 you have gatekeepers and at that time yeah which already feels like a million years ago you know

00:28:40.060 you have to kind of i remember meeting with hbo and talking to them i was like you know like

00:28:45.120 this is my hour and they i don't know if it was this but it felt in my mind and i could be wrong 0.73

00:28:50.920 i accept that but sometimes with queer stand-up because you're when you're gay they want people 0.52

00:28:58.180 want to associate with you with your trauma so watching someone just going on stage just telling

00:29:02.680 jokes it's like what's the hook yeah you know while it's not it's a bit different for other

00:29:07.960 people you know yeah i think anyone who's marginalized in any kind of way can understand

00:29:11.760 that but yeah that was my own insecurity i don't necessarily know that's the truth but i just

00:29:16.120 didn't feel comfortable trying to find something to be sad about i was like i'm talking about things

00:29:21.020 but making them whatever so once i started putting things online it removed someone else's idea of

00:29:27.960 what i should be doing and allowed me to be me totally and then it blew up and it was like okay

00:29:32.200 so i wasn't wrong like i can hear the audience's laughing so i don't think i'm not you know but

00:29:36.980 But then that allowed me to just kind of create my own little world.

00:29:40.880 I mean, I had my own YouTube channel,

00:29:42.820 and I just got to put up the stuff that I thought was funny

00:29:45.840 and continue with stand-up.

00:29:47.280 But so the positive about that is it gave me an opportunity

00:29:49.860 for exposure in a way I would have never gotten.

00:29:53.040 So now I can tour and I can go all over the world.

00:29:55.140 It's an amazing life.

00:29:57.140 I really love it.

00:29:58.320 I think the downside is when you're a young comic,

00:30:01.080 I also have to accept that I'm old

00:30:02.380 and that this is just the way things move.

00:30:03.860 but I mean I had at that point 14 years of stand-up behind me yeah that I would I could

00:30:10.860 post online while writing while knowing that I could work material out at certain clubs well I

00:30:15.160 had I was I was more in a system so I think the disadvantage for younger comics where yes you can

00:30:21.060 get exposure you can get an audience and I think that's great but there's also nothing wrong with

00:30:25.240 being ready so I think the building material for 10 15 years and then I think those days might be

00:30:32.160 gone so there may be people who are putting out material too fast or not getting time to develop

00:30:37.840 it yeah and that's just the name of the game but I actually don't know if that's true that would be

00:30:42.120 my fear yeah but for me well you've seen it with some with some comics like straight male comics 0.99

00:30:48.520 who get specials almost immediately and they're fucking dog shit that's how you know because you 0.98

00:30:54.160 got rewarded for the following and not for the material so I'll say it for you yeah I mean I 0.98

00:31:00.320 still had to put my first special on youtube and then my second special i got a hulu special which

00:31:04.520 was great and then now we're trying to figure out what to do for this next one but yeah i've had a

00:31:10.380 very good experience because yeah you know it's it's nice to be able to go around the world and

00:31:15.480 do stand-up and yeah it's crazy it is crazy and i and i agree with you too on the on your first

00:31:21.680 note about how to it was able to put yourself out there in a way that you never would have been able

00:31:25.760 to prior to that when I started doing this too I I like had talked about how I was just telling

00:31:31.320 my friends the story yesterday but I was like when I finally like broke through something where I

00:31:36.240 could like actually start doing this for a living and making money because I wasn't making any money

00:31:40.120 off of it for a while I was just doing it for the love of the game and the game alone um I remember

00:31:45.800 like thinking at the time like because a lot of brands would ask me after or like interviews if I

00:31:51.240 did interviews they would be like oh like what was the moment like that really like broke through

00:31:55.380 and i was like honestly like they did not get to a point where they were like you know what

00:31:59.980 misogyny is bad we should talk about that that's not what happened what happened is i got so big

00:32:05.460 that they were like all right fucking fine sure like that's i forced my way in the door and that's

00:32:10.380 why i always say like that's what i love the internet for um obviously it's been twisted

00:32:14.920 and warped in awful ways now and more recently especially human right exactly humans aren't

00:32:19.860 tend to do that exactly and so like but i what i loved about it was that it gave like you said

00:32:24.680 marginalized people exposure that otherwise they never would have gotten yeah like ever in a million

00:32:30.700 years and it's like it's platformed a lot of people who deserve to be heard and seen for

00:32:35.600 whatever it is that they have that grew them the platform but like especially for marginalized

00:32:39.540 people I was like that's why the internet was like pivotal because I had one of my friends

00:32:44.260 who's an actor asked me like how come we never majored in like theater or anything like that

00:32:47.500 and I was like because I didn't think there would be a future for me in it like quite literally

00:32:51.920 speaking i was like nobody looks like me nobody's built like me i said how old were you until you

00:32:57.320 saw a gay man do stand-up i said 23 and you remember the exact age bill cruz that's how

00:33:02.720 long i had to wait to see a gay man do stand-up comedy yeah 23 years which is crazy but it's just

00:33:07.260 the way it was yeah exactly i remember listening to people like kathy talking about uh gay people

00:33:13.640 in a positive issue kathy griffin was the first person i ever heard mentioned gay men in a positive

00:33:18.460 way no I was afraid for her career that's how internalized my homophobia was because I was so 1.00

00:33:24.260 used to being the butt of the joke no pun intended that you know I mean but there was just a lot of

00:33:29.500 internalized homophobia and there was a lot of fear going into it and honestly a lot of fear

00:33:33.920 about what the men would be like at the open mics but I found that it was not what I expected

00:33:39.320 when I went to open mics I was often the only gay in the room or one of few yeah and um comics

00:33:46.880 in general just care if you're funny and work really hard and you're easy to work with yeah

00:33:51.460 and so i i watched myself realize oh this wasn't it doesn't mean i didn't hear the homophobia the

00:33:57.200 racism and the misogyny but you know what 99 of the comics you start with in open mics they don't

00:34:02.120 continue doing stand-up right it's like only a few of you are kind of left after this much time

00:34:07.360 you know so you just have to kind of wait it out yeah but i've heard everything you know everyone 0.83

00:34:11.500 said everything you could possibly imagine about me or you got that because you're gay or got this 0.90

00:34:15.160 because you're gay or blah blah it's like oh okay sorry i'm like one of zero you know what i mean 0.97

00:34:21.180 my bad historically don't want to intrude on your space my bad it was that's why it was so 0.63

00:34:25.600 it was like it was a cool time when i came up because it was like really funny talented people

00:34:30.320 like joel kombuster cola scola john early yeah you know interesting why and i'm like can't you

00:34:36.320 see that all of us are wildly different no but i think people just especially like even today like

00:34:41.320 big bookers for streamers they just say you're gay that's it that's all you are you're in that

00:34:45.060 category i'm like okay but i like being gay yeah but also we're all different we're not a monolith 0.59

00:34:50.260 i don't know what to say like okay fine we all like the gold we don't yeah okay that's one thing

00:34:55.780 right okay you got that one okay yeah well but this is also one of my favorite questions to ask

00:35:03.400 comics but like what's your favorite city to tour in oh like um like the best crowds will chicago

00:35:10.840 was always great um love uh london has absolutely you know who was the best was spain no way

00:35:19.220 unbelievable i had yes i had some of the best time i did barcelona and madrid these big gorgeous

00:35:25.400 theaters actually madrid is where they do the lion king and i was like can i wear the zazu

00:35:30.360 outfit they're like please don't touch so but they were said no you're not that funny i i know

00:35:36.540 but they were so they those audiences blew me away i love new york audiences too and la is

00:35:44.540 always good too but sometimes you go to like smaller cities like not like miami and new york

00:35:50.340 and la and san francisco like if you're in kansas city missouri you know they're like exceptional

00:35:56.380 they're just so happy they're fun that's a really good point and like one of my someone on my team

00:36:01.900 once said too that in the smaller towns they're almost always awesome crowds because they're like

00:36:07.460 just grateful that you're there and they're also because no one goes there like could i see broadway

00:36:11.240 tonight maybe i'll go to madison exactly and i think i'm gonna go you know it's yeah like la

00:36:15.320 new york are really spoiled with how many people come and are constantly in town but like when i

00:36:20.300 played like ohio i was like oh girl when i played ohio i said man you would have thought i sold out

00:36:29.280 msg in ohio i've had so many instant like things that have happened to me in ohio me and nicole

00:36:36.000 byer always having problems in love nicole byer went on her show she's so funny she's truly the

00:36:40.640 best love her yeah she kept me alive for a long time too i love it all yeah but i would say i

00:36:46.520 would say the best cities i really love london i mean i'm touring all over europe i have six europe

00:36:50.720 tours on this tour i love australia too melbourne they're some of the best audience i've never been

00:36:55.600 to australia i had one of the best shows ever at the palace in melbourne last time i did it in

00:37:00.640 september it's fun that's a cool thing it's like you could travel all over the world and do well

00:37:06.160 and get like different energies from different people yeah the italians always clap a lot

00:37:11.340 without laughing or do they just like giggle and then like kind of look at each other and clap

00:37:16.480 and i'll be like you have to laugh and sometimes i translate for myself on stage if i don't think

00:37:22.940 they understand what's happening but they're an amazing crowd but they're just so like

00:37:27.040 you know it's like they're polite with it yeah yeah they're thinking very i'm not making this

00:37:33.020 up the french literally i put this in one of my acts but it's the honest to god truth i was doing

00:37:37.720 like a 2000 seat theater in france i was so excited in paris this is amazing yeah blah blah

00:37:42.460 blah and i'm used to americans where like if i ask a question the answer is yes you know everyone

00:37:47.720 goes whoo yeah so i asked it 2 000 french people went yes

00:37:51.980 kind of ominous okay in the netherlands i went on stage and i said before i start i want you to

00:38:07.760 know that i know that you know that you don't laugh and they all laugh because they'll just

00:38:12.140 they'll stare and then afterwards be like that's the hardest i've ever laughed in my life

00:38:15.560 like they just expressed themselves so differently you know around the world yeah it's crazy

00:38:21.360 mexico city was amazing atsco and i co-haplied mexico city i love atsco i love oh my god atsco

00:38:29.020 if i oh my god and a great hang i a great hang the funnest person ever i saw her at one of um

00:38:38.120 quest love's game nights i wish i could sit with quest love and ask him every question he was about

00:38:42.460 mariah carey but that's for another time i just feel like he is a vault because he actually

00:38:46.740 published my first book um but he is like a vault of tea i just know and every time i would see him

00:38:53.200 like i remember the very first time i met him was when i pitched my book to him and he wanted to

00:38:56.920 come in person to meet me and so like we we talked for a while and then he was very like stoic and he

00:39:03.200 was very like it's very cool that's very interesting like he was very like cards to the

00:39:07.220 chest i was like no worries and then um when he was he's like i'm so sorry i do have to leave a

00:39:11.840 little bit early uh because i have you know the show to do and i was well he said i have to leave 0.93

00:39:17.360 a little early i have another commitment and i go what do you got a fucking show or something 0.89

00:39:20.840 and i made that joke without even thinking like i should probably not be cracking jokes in this 0.90

00:39:26.300 meeting where i have not signed any papers yet but i made a funny joke what do you got somewhere to 0.88

00:39:30.220 fucking be that's how i said it and that is the only time i've made him laugh he went but he when 0.79

00:39:34.820 i say laugh i say that that's very generous because he went like yeah but from quest love 0.98

00:39:39.260 that's like him like gut busting huge yeah i heard an interview with him and mariah carey

00:39:44.840 anyways but yeah well he yes with him like i saw him or saw otsko at quest loves game night

00:39:51.400 and i remember i was sitting at a table and i was talking to my friend and we were kind of chatting

00:39:56.300 and then she come over and she goes whatever you do don't sit at that table and i like look over

00:40:02.200 and they were playing a game i was like why she goes they're playing scrabble but they're playing

00:40:05.780 for real oh and she was like and they were trying to make me think of words i don't want to do that

00:40:10.820 i'm drinking yeah i was like oh okay i know when it comes to board games oh there's a card game

00:40:18.220 that bob and i will get you addicted to it's called combio have you ever played it no oh but

00:40:22.540 i love a game night you'll come over we'll do it please and that's also on camera so you can't

00:40:27.560 rescind it you are welcome studio is right and i'll text bob right now on his droid he's at his

00:40:34.260 aunt hazel's i think 70th birthday party i know i was like he's always doing something hey y'all

00:40:38.900 it's true and i want to talk to y'all about something a little bit serious but still very

00:40:43.120 helpful so if you're anything like me and you experience a lot of intrusive thoughts throughout

00:40:47.960 your day and sometimes they can be extremely debilitating get in the way of your workflow

00:40:52.400 your ability to just function in general then attributing it to something like anxiety if you

00:40:58.100 experience that just like I do, this is for you. Because for millions of people, that's not just

00:41:03.820 anxiety. That's OCD. And most of them have no idea. Not the organizing stereotype. Real OCD

00:41:11.580 is persistent, unwanted, intrusive thoughts that feel totally out of character, along with mental

00:41:17.300 or physical behaviors you feel driven to do to get relief, even when it never actually comes.

00:41:23.180 These thoughts can feel very real, which is what makes them so upsetting.

00:41:28.100 OCD is highly treatable with the right kind of specialized therapy.

00:41:31.780 It needs ERP, exposure and response prevention therapy, proven to be the most effective treatment.

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00:41:45.480 licensed therapists specialize in erp therapy and live face-to-face virtual sessions with

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00:41:58.060 unrelenting intrusive thoughts no cd can help book a free 15 minute call to get started at

00:42:04.500 nocd.com bob also does this thing where he doesn't text you he calls you and i'll be doing something

00:42:09.500 and i'll go i'll go and then he calls right again i'm like as if i didn't see it the first time

00:42:14.260 now I think there's like an emergency so I'm like well hold on Bob is everything okay

00:42:18.600 what's going on he knew you were ignoring him of course I'm like I'm doing something and he does

00:42:23.260 have a droid I'm not kidding about that I don't want to talk about his phone situation it's

00:42:26.700 insufferable I'm not kidding about that he has three levels he has eight phones and then he

00:42:30.840 can never find any of them and then he claims he has an iPhone but it's never the iPhone it is

00:42:34.820 it's an insufferable situation it's just a rumor he's he's spreading about himself is that he has

00:42:38.360 an iPhone but he does not he has it but it's always over there like it's never like where 0.99

00:42:42.720 you want it to be that's like caleb caleb has a dumb ass uh dumb phone well nick still has a 0.98

00:42:48.900 fucking android and i'm like this we can't i can't face time because i do you have whatsapp i'm like 0.99

00:42:54.440 yes i have whatsapp it's insufferable okay back to back to cities i want to know what's a city 0.99

00:43:01.820 that you're not the biggest fan of almost anything in ohio i think i'm kidding i'm joking no but

00:43:07.680 Ohio, so there's something always happening in Ohio with me.

00:43:11.460 I don't know what it is.

00:43:12.940 Last moment of Ohio, my plane literally almost didn't land.

00:43:16.100 The storm was so bad.

00:43:17.720 Then me and River Butcher, who's a great comic, he was opening for me,

00:43:20.840 and someone heckled him, which no one heckles ever at my shows.

00:43:24.440 And then I was with Nicole. 0.98

00:43:25.820 I got called a drive-by faggot, which the speed limit was 50 miles an hour. 0.99

00:43:29.300 I was like, how gay did I look in the distance? 0.99

00:43:31.660 Then I hurt my knee when her and I went to the pool,

00:43:33.780 and then she got hecklers about Trump.

00:43:36.340 and she kept she was confused because she'd moved past that bit so now they're yelling at her and

00:43:40.800 she's like is this about black santa because she was already on a new bit about black santa

00:43:43.760 it was so confusing and every yeah just every time i go to ohio i'm like something is always

00:43:48.300 embracing myself yeah you're in a past life you did something terrible i don't know you're like

00:43:52.540 i can't be in this i can't be in this state yeah that's so funny of all the states i could have 0.95

00:43:57.720 said i said ohio and then you were like that's so funny you bring that up i fucking hate ohio 0.96

00:44:01.480 And I don't hate Ohio. 0.88

00:44:02.920 That is not – I don't want this narrative.

00:44:04.620 I know.

00:44:04.960 I'm kidding.

00:44:05.320 I like Ohio, but –

00:44:07.380 Ohio doesn't like you.

00:44:09.100 Something's going on.

00:44:09.900 Yeah, something's got energy.

00:44:10.020 I lost a leather coat there because it was a whole thing.

00:44:13.580 I just have so many stories of Ohio.

00:44:15.040 I've never had a single problem in St. Louis.

00:44:17.400 I mean, it's just like –

00:44:18.440 Detroit, you're great.

00:44:20.120 I mean, I have no –

00:44:21.540 But usually the shows are all pretty –

00:44:23.080 They're all pretty good.

00:44:25.240 I mean, audiences, they're excited.

00:44:26.380 They're coming to see you.

00:44:27.620 Yeah, that's true.

00:44:27.700 You go back to markets after two years, and you have a new hour,

00:44:30.200 and you're trying to build.

00:44:31.840 I was going to ask about tour.

00:44:32.980 How do you like touring?

00:44:33.940 I love touring.

00:44:34.880 Do you like the on the road lifestyle?

00:44:37.440 Yes.

00:44:38.000 Look, you have to know what you're getting into.

00:44:40.240 It is a lot of work.

00:44:42.140 It is very tiring.

00:44:43.580 You're not home a lot.

00:44:44.660 But I was dreaming of doing this forever.

00:44:47.540 So look, planes and different hotels

00:44:50.700 and not seeing family, not seeing friends,

00:44:53.060 missing out on a gate.

00:44:55.000 You're kind of alone a lot too.

00:44:56.820 I mean, there's like a feeling of displacement sometimes.

00:44:59.420 but when you get to stand up on stage you're like oh yeah this is what it was all about

00:45:03.000 you know but I could tour like I love that oh I love it there's different ways to tour I could

00:45:07.720 have gotten on a bus and done the whole thing yeah in like five months but I'm like I'm not

00:45:11.840 what am I in a rush for you know what I mean like I'm not a rush I'm not on a tv show so my tours

00:45:16.600 are usually quite long because I usually only do three weekends a month but that is like two cities

00:45:21.500 and so you know you get like three or four days home in New York so I have some semblance of

00:45:25.860 a normal life it's like half my week i'm on a plane or the other half i'm at home playing

00:45:31.540 fortnight or dress to impress are those your two favorite games right now yeah but right now i'm

00:45:35.780 back into starcraft my friend chris and i really it's it's a whole thing are you a big gamer yes

00:45:40.180 oh t are you pc girl i have a pc yeah and a ps5 and i have a nintendo switch well kind of i have

00:45:47.560 all of those things too i'm i'm joking i'm saying that as if i don't own all of those things as well

00:45:51.360 what games are you into i like like third person story games so i love like i've played like all

00:45:57.320 the assassin's creed games the ghost of tsushima i liked did you play legend of did you play breath

00:46:03.140 of the wild i started breath of the wild on the on the switch yeah it is weirdly hard um for what i

00:46:11.500 thought zelda would be i hadn't played zelda in years yeah but like it was fun though give it

00:46:15.400 another shot because it's truly the best that's so funny yes literally yesterday my sister's

00:46:20.220 girlfriend was telling me to play breath of the wild yeah no you should give it another Zelda fan

00:46:23.920 really it's it's I wish I could like erase I wish I could eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

00:46:28.660 my mind with that game so I could replay it and feel those feelings for the first time that's

00:46:34.740 how I feel about ghost of Yote yeah which was the second ghost of Tsushima that's how I feel about

00:46:39.180 that game and I beat it but you would love it's it's almost the same that's very similar that's

00:46:43.320 literally why my man got me breath of the wild because he's like I really think you'll like it

00:46:46.200 it's very similar to the ones you love because I love story games and like the fantasy stuff

00:46:49.840 but like not too fantasy because i did try to play baldur's gate no i don't like baldur's gate

00:46:55.120 i tried but i hate what it looks like yeah when if i don't like when it looks like a little chat 0.73

00:46:59.620 i want to run around i don't want to do shit yeah so i was like kind of bummed because i really 0.97

00:47:03.080 wanted to do the relationship stuff i was like yeah i'm trying to fuck everyone yes of course i 0.99

00:47:06.600 am and then i realized you have to do all that ugly stuff in order to get there and i was like 0.95

00:47:10.080 i know sometimes i'm like in video games i'm like i have my own errands to run

00:47:14.160 like i haven't gotten a haircut in four days but i'm worried about getting this seed for this witch

00:47:20.700 in a town that like i gotta go that's all i felt playing the witcher oh the witcher is so annoying

00:47:26.140 i was living with evan williams at the time in new york and he was playing he's like every time

00:47:29.400 i'd walk in i'm not kidding you hit the character was auditioning for a play i said this is what 0.71

00:47:34.460 you do you go on audition i swear man yeah i there's fucking huge dragon battles and then i 0.97

00:47:40.700 came in next time and he was on a horse naked with a woman i said this is a telenovela yes exactly 0.94

00:47:46.840 and i was trying to get a piece of it and honestly when i tried it it's just like there's a little

00:47:50.920 too much i think it would be more fun to play on a pc probably because i was playing on the ps5 i

00:47:55.020 was playing on a ps5 a long time now i'm pc because i stream i really like streaming but

00:47:59.120 the games that i like you're so fun to watch on stream what do you play on stream i play dress

00:48:03.040 to impress okay fun i've played that many times too well nick thinks he's miranda priestly clearly

00:48:07.540 it's a game for seven year old girls and i guess 40 year old gay men for the meanest little girls

00:48:12.120 you've ever met in your entire life oh nick's just as well nick also fight like when you play

00:48:15.700 fortnight like sometimes there's like an open spot so the game fills it in with random people

00:48:19.660 and nick will always argue with the kids because they'll say such kids are mean they are people

00:48:25.440 are like there's a the the innocence of a child i was like where play fortnight for five minutes

00:48:31.920 there's no innocence go in that call of duty lobby call of duty my friend jacob and i had a

00:48:37.140 very viral clip of us playing call of duty because before we were murdered um we he looked at the

00:48:42.820 wallpaper and said oh i could live here this is cute wallpaper i'm not getting here we have it

00:48:50.200 filmed oh no this is cute i could live here this is nice this is nice wallpaper from the from behind

00:48:56.140 and then they just like threw a grenade at us we when i tell you how quickly we die i could not

00:49:02.180 that's the hardest i think i've laughed in my life and i every time i try catching my breath

00:49:05.640 I was like, Jacob, do you think in the history of Call of Duty that anyone was like, well, I could live here. 0.75

00:49:12.760 It's like beaten down like Russia, like with a nuclear bomb outside. 0.62

00:49:18.960 I was going to say it's like in a war-torn country. 0.73

00:49:21.500 It is.

00:49:21.780 Oh, God, cute.

00:49:23.140 I can do this. 1.00

00:49:24.060 There's zombies outside the fucking window. 1.00

00:49:26.700 Yeah. 1.00

00:49:27.120 Did you have an overcooked phase with your friends?

00:49:29.440 Did I have an overcooked phase?

00:49:30.540 There is a video of me, Bob, and Nick playing overcooked.

00:49:32.860 when i tell you we are it is so i know bob loves video games oh yeah yeah me and bob during the

00:49:39.900 pandemic where it was like fortnight every day but we were when i we were playing overcooked

00:49:44.900 and now we play overcooked and nick keeps nick yells at us like he's a manager i need a cucumber 0.98

00:49:49.500 rice and ham rack them i'm like rack them you know and he's screaming but car me from the fucking 0.85

00:49:55.200 bear okay i always play as a little fox like the fox chef in overcooked i love it i forget who i 0.99

00:50:02.540 was but overcook if you're listening fix your fucking servers because it always fucking shuts 0.95

00:50:07.840 down on us and it's insufferable but that game gets hard i know that game is so hard and me and 0.98

00:50:11.720 my sister hit a real flow state when we play together and then we had like two extra controllers

00:50:17.660 and my brother and my my husband wanted to play oh and then they joined for maybe one game and i

00:50:23.240 was like you guys have to get off like you you you're not operating on the levels that we're

00:50:27.680 operating on it's a game meant to yell at your friends it is a game specifically meant to scream 1.00

00:50:33.240 at your friends and call them fucking idiots and pieces of shit literally and nick is like my 1.00

00:50:39.180 friend donnie like nick nick listen to me when i say this to you when i fucking see you i'm gonna 1.00

00:50:42.720 drop you on your fucking head yeah do it it's on site then the little character is playing 0.99

00:50:48.920 live here this is cute yeah this wall paper is cute what's your favorite video game of all time 1.00

00:50:56.000 Super Metroid.

00:50:57.140 What is it?

00:50:57.640 Super Metroid.

00:50:58.440 What's that?

00:50:59.260 Super Metroid for Super Nintendo.

00:51:00.960 Or Pokemon Crystal.

00:51:03.240 T. 1.00

00:51:04.400 My man loved the fucking Pokemon games. 0.99

00:51:07.020 I think I only played like two of them. 1.00

00:51:09.720 Well, the last two have been shit. 1.00

00:51:11.940 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:12.560 That IP has more money than Disney.

00:51:14.760 And they spent, I think, three and a half dollars on that last game. 0.97

00:51:20.380 I mean, Pokemon, if winds and waves are not good, I'm going to fucking- 0.87

00:51:24.700 I'm going to freak out. 0.89

00:51:25.640 I'm going to scream.

00:51:28.680 I love that you play video games.

00:51:30.160 That's great.

00:51:31.220 I know it's one of the few things.

00:51:32.660 Sometimes I get asked to stream and I'm like, honestly, I would love to because I do talk

00:51:37.660 a lot when I play games.

00:51:39.380 Like, and I, I, that's just for me.

00:51:41.100 And honestly, like one time someone was like, what's a game you love to play?

00:51:44.320 Like a video game you love to play with your husband.

00:51:45.960 And I was like, honestly, the one where he sits on the couch and watches me play and

00:51:49.980 laughs at all the jokes I make.

00:51:51.280 Yeah.

00:51:51.820 That's my favorite game.

00:51:52.760 Well, because when I was little, we would all sit around my cousin Michael.

00:51:56.900 He was the oldest, so he was the best at video games.

00:51:59.020 And it was kind of like, it feels a little bit like a modern version of that.

00:52:02.420 I used to do that with my cousins all the time, too.

00:52:04.640 Like, we used to make one play that was really good.

00:52:07.520 And then we would all watch.

00:52:08.580 And it was fun.

00:52:08.940 And that's how I grew up with my dad, too.

00:52:10.560 Like, my dad and I used to love playing video games together.

00:52:12.660 What games did you guys play?

00:52:13.300 Still do.

00:52:14.060 When we were younger, like, I played, we loved Mario Kart.

00:52:17.440 That was, like, a huge.

00:52:18.180 Of course. 0.53

00:52:18.620 That's, like, one of the few games my mom likes to play. 0.97

00:52:21.540 because my mom doesn't really fuck with video games like that but i was just telling my man 0.60

00:52:24.960 this the other day that like you know the movie wreck it ralph yes when that movie came out me and 0.88

00:52:29.320 my family were so geeked because when i was a kid i forget my parents were young when they had me so

00:52:34.780 like my they had my sister at 18 and me at 20 work so like when we were like around the age where we

00:52:40.400 could start playing video games my parents are like in their late 20s and i'm forgetting that 0.65

00:52:44.080 like everything my parents showed us um were things that they thought were fucking awesome

00:52:49.240 like that's kind of like i realized that because there's a gap in my childhood where like

00:52:53.300 a lot of women will talk about like the barbie movies and stuff i never watched any of those

00:52:57.660 because i only watched like 80s movies with my parents like yeah so that's why uncle buck's like

00:53:02.600 one of my favorite movies all the time because oh my god and it's just one of the funniest movies

00:53:08.120 ever and i literally think it's because my parents were showing me shit they liked yeah so like i

00:53:13.040 played 80s arcade games like a lot growing up so like tapper and like the i forget the name of the 0.54

00:53:18.960 float one and then there's like frogger and like things like that tetris all of those were like my

00:53:23.980 favorite video games growing up because i played them with my dad yeah and my mom too my mom was

00:53:28.200 really good at tapper we that game my mom is so good at that game i don't know what it is about

00:53:33.060 that we used to watch my cousin michael played doom when it was on the old oh yeah yes of course

00:53:38.140 yeah and it was so scary i mean we're all screaming the monsters were scary so we'd just

00:53:45.120 be around we turn the lights off and play doom and yeah just screaming at the doom but doom was

00:53:51.960 so much fun i know it's so fun i used to love my cousin brian's also gay yeah and we used to play 0.86

00:53:58.080 the sims my aunt was like i love the sims i love the sims we would make two women uh gay live with 0.78

00:54:07.300 each other and one in a beautiful gorgeous gown and we wouldn't let her do anything all she would 0.96

00:54:11.300 do is like work on like playing piano and reading books and blah blah and the other one we were 0.99

00:54:16.020 like what if we like she doesn't go to bed so like you know what I mean because you can keep

00:54:20.920 them up forever this one right so every time she would try falling asleep you like tap you're like

00:54:24.380 wake up wake up you know what I mean like like how long can we keep her awake for you know so

00:54:29.760 it's like we invite the neighbors over like okay oh my gosh you know lock the doors yeah I love

00:54:38.100 the sims and i used to i would low-key i would be like i would be building trad wife communes like

00:54:44.660 in my sims unintentionally but i would literally i would evict the richest family obviously i would 1.00

00:54:49.220 cheat get all the money i'd evict the richest family and then i would make i would marry her 1.00

00:54:53.500 to the best looking one if there wasn't a good looking one i would just make another one and

00:54:56.780 then i would send him to work because i just don't want to see him yeah i'm like i don't 1.00

00:55:00.300 fucking care about this guy go make money and i would like send him to work and then she would 0.91

00:55:04.120 just have babies and raise them great and then all her kids would do chores and stuff i would 1.00

00:55:08.380 like do it like that and then i would have i would marry off the kids and then i would repeat the

00:55:12.140 cycle like over and over again but like just the man was just never allowed in the house i was like

00:55:16.060 you're not allowed here i don't care if you're hungry i don't care go we would yeah we would

00:55:19.240 kill the husbands and then we would like court new ones yeah you know but we'd have his gravestone 0.97

00:55:24.460 right outside the front door it's like a reminder i love decorating too oh i think the password was 0.99

00:55:31.800 rosebud yeah that gave you all the money which in retrospect mother load different right rosebud

00:55:38.180 jesus christ extreme but yeah we would just build like gorgeous houses like keep getting new husbands 1.00

00:55:43.600 kill the other ones line up the gravestones see if that one girl ever sleeps oh guess we'll find 1.00

00:55:50.100 out i know she would every once in a while like like she's like you know we're like get more 1.00

00:55:55.420 espresso the kids we want the kids out of the house well yeah exactly i would do that too 0.55

00:56:00.760 one time i literally got like the college expansion pack where like my sim could go to college so like

00:56:06.480 i sent her to college and then you know you can pick like a life goal for them yes and for her i

00:56:10.540 picked to have uh it was like to have 20 boyfriends at once and i was like obviously i'm gonna pick

00:56:15.580 that one obviously and i got i think i got to like 12 and then two of my man two of my boyfriends

00:56:20.980 had the same class as me and then they broke up with me and then my sim was too sad to do anything

00:56:24.760 I mean, it was a weird human experiment, wasn't it?

00:56:27.640 It's so strange, yeah.

00:56:28.520 Because it's like we want big houses and then just do weird things. 0.54

00:56:32.860 I just love – I'll just never forget the imagery of a woman in a perfect ballgown playing piano. 0.92

00:56:37.040 The other one's outside just like, can I sleep?

00:56:39.320 I just wanted to see how long we could go without going to sleep.

00:56:41.480 And let's see how long this one stays alive.

00:56:43.500 Yeah.

00:56:44.700 And the gravestones of the ex-husbands.

00:56:46.880 Yeah.

00:56:47.900 How'd your last husband die?

00:56:50.080 Swimming accident.

00:56:50.860 I realized too

00:56:52.360 This with my sister

00:56:53.240 The other day

00:56:53.720 That like

00:56:54.160 A lot of our favorite shows

00:56:55.540 Like there were shows

00:56:56.780 Like I didn't

00:56:57.220 We didn't really latch

00:56:57.880 On to Pokemon

00:56:58.420 Or like Dragon Ball Z

00:56:59.660 Or anything like that

00:57:00.420 And I started realizing

00:57:01.600 That all my favorite shows

00:57:02.680 Were all women 1.00

00:57:03.280 Yeah 0.99

00:57:03.960 Like anytime they were

00:57:04.720 Centering on mostly men

00:57:05.700 I was like

00:57:06.040 Why would I ever

00:57:06.860 Did you ever watch Sailor Moon?

00:57:08.460 I did love Sailor Moon

00:57:09.340 I love Sailor Moon

00:57:10.400 Yes I loved Sailor

00:57:11.440 I love Sailor Moon

00:57:12.600 Love Sailor Moon

00:57:13.180 And I've recently

00:57:14.220 Gotten into anime again

00:57:15.400 Because I started watching JJK

00:57:16.680 And I've never watched it before

00:57:17.600 Oh great

00:57:18.100 So

00:57:18.540 They have a lot of good animes

00:57:19.300 I mean I

00:57:19.800 When I was at

00:57:20.680 Like, in fourth grade, Sailor Moon came out at 6 o'clock in the morning at WCIU, Channel 26, the U.

00:57:25.480 And I would watch it every morning.

00:57:26.880 I was obsessed.

00:57:27.680 Oh, my God, yes.

00:57:28.600 Of course I did.

00:57:29.400 But it was a solo experiment because, like, I couldn't talk about it at school.

00:57:32.460 I didn't know if anybody else would watch it.

00:57:33.720 That's crazy.

00:57:34.280 Like, kids today, like, if they like Sailor Moon, they have access to everything.

00:57:37.340 I know.

00:57:38.440 And it's also, I think, not, like, to kind of drop back to, like, the internet.

00:57:42.260 That was another thing I think I loved about the internet, too, was that you could find community.

00:57:46.740 Yeah.

00:57:46.940 The things that you loved.

00:57:48.140 It's made it easier, I think, for younger kids now

00:57:50.480 who love things like anime or love things like Sailor Moon

00:57:53.080 to be able to find people who also enjoy it

00:57:55.440 so they don't feel as alone.

00:57:56.600 I think that's really sweet of the internet, too.

00:57:58.600 But that's one of the few good things that have come out of it.

00:58:00.640 Yeah.

00:58:00.900 I would say.

00:58:01.720 Good stuff's come out of the internet.

00:58:02.440 Yeah.

00:58:02.820 There's a lot of evil come out of it, too, but you know.

00:58:05.060 Kind of gloss over it.

00:58:08.860 Okay, now I do want to ask you kind of another career question.

00:58:11.660 Sure.

00:58:12.400 Now that you're kind of like, you're in this amazing level of comedy

00:58:15.960 and you're getting to do all these wonderful things,

00:58:17.260 what's like the next goal for you you've done a lot of awesome things so what's like what would

00:58:21.640 you say is your next like big big goal that you're manifesting this is the place we manifest i always

00:58:25.360 say that to all my guests oh god i'm so bad at manifesting i feel like um i don't know you know

00:58:30.540 this is not a pageant answer but it is the truth like i didn't think i'd get here like i headlined

00:58:37.080 radio city and i got to do broadway i so i am i am thrilled i i don't have any other giant

00:58:43.600 ambitions i love things i'd love to do it to be able to play like amy sedaris characters i love

00:58:50.420 playing like weird characters i do a bunch of different voices and stuff um so i'd love to

00:58:56.160 ask if you want to if you thought about doing voice acting i just voice acted a french film

00:59:01.200 that's now uh coming to the anglophone um uh but yeah i do love doing voice acting i was a voice

00:59:08.840 actor on family guy i did some other oh my god how i love family i know i have to be me and marie

00:59:15.440 faustin always talk about family guy but um but i honestly if i could just if i could just keep

00:59:20.320 performing in these beautiful theaters and keep writing jokes i i just i like my life now anything

00:59:26.100 else that comes from it is is great there's certain things i'd like like i'd love i wish

00:59:30.880 you know i had easier access to certain things but yeah i don't know i kind of i like my life

00:59:36.340 I don't have any more ambition like I don't really want to be like wildly famous and have all this money and have six houses and have no stressful I like my one apartment and I mean I wish I maybe get like a apartment in Rome or something fun yeah I think that's beautiful I think you look at your career in the world and through a very grateful lens and I think that's beautiful yeah I didn't think I can sense that from you I mean I already got my hair transplant so I'm like I don't have any other ambition

01:00:06.320 mama i've made it i made it that was my first big purchase i was like when i get money i'm gonna get 0.51

01:00:11.500 hair transplant and i did it god damn you did i paid my parents back for college like we didn't

01:00:15.920 have money growing up at all and so i was the first kid to go to college and i had to get loans 0.86

01:00:21.420 and i had to work obviously blah blah blah and then you know i had to pay those loans back and

01:00:26.200 so my parents were helping me and then so finally i was able to do that which that was like a nice

01:00:30.880 thing for me to be like hey thank you that's so awesome but i like being able to work with my

01:00:34.720 friends i involve all my friends and everything me too that i do if i can i will yeah i love it

01:00:40.880 you know i mean nick's ruining my life but you know like besides that but besides that vampire

01:00:45.740 everything's awesome so i know it's not the answer you're looking for i wish i could say i

01:00:49.200 want no it is it absolutely is and i love those things but i also i'd like to do i'm gonna do

01:00:53.960 broadway again oh so so fun but i don't know i'm kind of quite happy every day i wish i had the 0.86

01:00:59.840 chops to be on broadway i wish it was the most fun thing i've ever done i i can only fucking

01:01:04.720 imagine i loved it singing with a live orchestra every single night i mean i hated the suit i wore 0.96

01:01:09.600 but everyone knew that but i loved doing it it was truly so much fun that's fucking incredible

01:01:15.380 and if i could sing i would be a terror i just know it i know that's why the universe did not 0.59

01:01:19.460 give me that gift because they were like you can take voice lessons i know everyone always tells

01:01:25.220 me that everyone with everyone with a wonderful voice always tells me that sure they're trying

01:01:31.880 to make me feel better and i i was like joking with uh dylan olvaney about broadway yeah love

01:01:38.000 her love she's the best and a fucking ball yeah she's so fun to hang out with um but we were 0.52

01:01:44.020 talking about broadway and i said something that like shocked her because she would just i think 0.97

01:01:47.900 didn't think i i knew broadway like that i didn't know broadway ball like that and i told her she's

01:01:53.140 like oh my god you are a broadway girl and i go yes girl i just don't have the chops yes of course

01:01:58.440 i do well i mean okay can you sing at all i'm not tone deaf that's what i always say like we're

01:02:04.060 already like we've moved well beyond to functional here there's nothing tone deaf it's like you can't

01:02:11.020 get around right it's a little ear mental thing right so i'm like it's not terrible your speaking

01:02:16.720 voice has nice resonance so i thank you like you should be able to manipulate that with the proper

01:02:22.420 training i mean maybe i like and honestly like singing is the one thing that truly makes me feel

01:02:28.860 so afraid and like nervous because i'm not right now no oh i was like we could do voice lessons

01:02:35.280 right now no i'm me getting nervous now oh i don't want to make my stomach hurting no no no i'm

01:02:40.820 kidding i'm kidding i i literally just like i just know it's like it's not the best it's not even

01:02:46.660 really that great so i'm not gonna do it i mean they had jerry springer play my role in chicago

01:02:51.440 so let's not act like

01:02:52.460 I know honestly

01:02:53.880 I'm like

01:02:54.280 is there a lot of

01:02:55.160 is there a speaking role

01:02:56.400 that maybe I can take

01:02:57.440 yeah you could

01:02:58.280 I would love

01:02:58.440 well but you want to be

01:02:59.680 in a musical

01:03:00.240 I do want to be in a musical

01:03:01.500 why don't you start

01:03:03.020 taking voice lessons now

01:03:03.980 so you give yourself

01:03:04.640 the year

01:03:05.120 take voice lessons

01:03:05.860 like three times a week

01:03:07.140 two

01:03:07.500 and then you could see

01:03:09.200 like where you're

01:03:09.960 where you've settled

01:03:10.940 in a year from now

01:03:11.800 and if you're ready

01:03:12.540 then you should go for it

01:03:14.180 you think

01:03:14.920 yeah

01:03:15.320 oh my gosh

01:03:15.800 you seem really passionate

01:03:16.940 about it

01:03:17.400 I am

01:03:18.340 what would be your dream role

01:03:19.580 and I'm also

01:03:19.660 oh my god

01:03:21.460 What would be my dream role?

01:03:22.820 Okay, just one.

01:03:24.360 I would want to be Elle Woods in Legally Blonde, the musical.

01:03:26.620 Oh, I mean, that would be fantastic.

01:03:28.260 That is one of my favorite musicals.

01:03:29.640 That's a hard singing role.

01:03:31.000 I know.

01:03:32.340 That's why I said I'm, like, shooting for the moon. 0.83

01:03:34.940 Courtney, take your break.

01:03:37.560 That entire discography, top to bottom, I could do.

01:03:41.500 Okay.

01:03:41.680 But that's just, again, I feel like the movie Rudy,

01:03:45.360 I have all of the power and passion, none of the talent. 0.98

01:03:49.060 Now I need a bunch of fucking big guys 0.98

01:03:52.280 To go put their jerseys in the office in Broadway 0.99

01:03:54.240 And be like I'm not playing unless Rudy plays 1.00

01:03:56.520 I need that shit 1.00

01:03:57.580 Do you want me to go do that at the ambassador? 1.00

01:03:59.640 Yeah you should

01:04:00.360 Just work it in

01:04:01.540 I'll get you

01:04:04.360 Thank you I appreciate that

01:04:06.720 But speaking of you being on Broadway

01:04:08.320 I do have fun facts about you

01:04:09.840 To kind of round out our episode here

01:04:12.320 Well you'll let me know if they're fun

01:04:14.160 And if they're not fun 1.00

01:04:15.920 I count a strike against Amanda

01:04:17.220 okay and Amanda's our producer okay so first fun fact uh you studied oil painting and opera

01:04:25.260 singing for five months in Umbria Italy and you used to sing Ave Maria at weddings and funerals

01:04:31.160 well yes I studied Italy I studied painting in Italy okay I mean I was a full-blown professional

01:04:37.500 I studied opera in Chicago um but yes I was I was basically like the cancer so anytime 0.99

01:04:42.880 time someone died or got married here came my gay ass showing up ridiculous that's insane opera 0.99

01:04:53.540 singing okay miss i can sing anything you try to yeah i know my god okay it says when you first 1.00

01:05:01.060 moved to new york uh you got a job illustrating a video game that taught office compliance yeah

01:05:05.940 so i went from a storyboard artist for tv commercials and fashion ads which was such a

01:05:10.540 strange job because you one week you're drawing for dsw the next is lexus then the monopoly game

01:05:15.480 you know so you kind of have to have if you can draw like a bunch of different stuff then you can

01:05:19.700 work i mean you can really work yeah so then my friend aaron was working for this company they

01:05:23.860 had like it was a it was i forget what it was called true office i think and they needed an

01:05:29.620 illustrator to like illustrate everything right so i would just sit there and i had two screens

01:05:35.080 i'd watch the golden girls on one screen and then just draw all day draw a woman in office draw this

01:05:40.280 draw what this would look like draw that you know and just kind of going back and forth but 0.99

01:05:43.860 oh my god you're such a renaissance woman i know you can do everything what the fuck that's crazy 0.99

01:05:50.380 can you speak multiple languages four okay bitch i fucking knew it i literally knew it no i cannot 0.99

01:05:57.260 speak four languages mateo one language one other language well english just kidding yeah i can speak 0.99

01:06:01.880 spanish okay and i can also speak um i would say a little bit of someone okay like and i can speak

01:06:07.660 a little bit of hawaiian are you fluent in spanish yes work when i speak spanish it's so funny

01:06:12.720 because i have the strongest italian accent so literally when i talk to other latinos they're

01:06:17.920 like you sound like mario but i can't help it that's like i learned italian first and i mean

01:06:26.800 i'm also part mexican but like i learned italian first and then i don't i they're so similar those

01:06:32.660 languages are literally so it's true it's like i don't know how to change it every renaissance

01:06:42.860 woman i've ever met can speak multiple languages very well and that pisses me off by the way i

01:06:48.040 think it's because well because i'm jealous okay work no i wish i wish i was more um i grew up in

01:06:54.780 southern california but i grew up in santa anna and so like uh literally every single child was

01:07:01.980 mexican except me so like i grew up i almost hearing that more than someone i heard spanish

01:07:08.020 way way way more and mexican spanish specifically so um and i took spanish all throughout high

01:07:13.020 school i took it in college actually in college i took someone too so that one i can't i can speak

01:07:18.460 more spanish than i can speak someone that's just the truth about me okay uh this one says you once

01:07:24.820 got food poisoning from an octopus in spain yeah i was dating this guy named kike hola kike and

01:07:31.360 he's from Venezuela but he lives in Spain now 1.00

01:07:33.280 and I don't even know why I was trying to impress him

01:07:35.720 he was already my boyfriend

01:07:37.200 but he like had all this different kind of

01:07:39.540 seafood and

01:07:40.640 like fish and I was just eating

01:07:43.580 pretty much everything and then the next

01:07:45.640 day I'm not kidding you

01:07:47.520 I've never had a skin reaction like this it wasn't

01:07:49.460 just like a rash purple

01:07:51.280 blisters and we had to go to the

01:07:53.420 emergency room and get steroid

01:07:55.500 shots to take it down and then

01:07:57.360 overnight it just popped up on your skin

01:07:59.340 And it was so painful, and it stayed – I was on two weeks of 60 milligrams of prednisone a day to keep it from, like, blistering. 0.98

01:08:08.540 And it was from some reaction from one of the fucking things I ate. 0.96

01:08:11.980 So now I eat nothing from the ocean. 0.99

01:08:14.540 I don't care what it is.

01:08:15.460 I don't care how good it is.

01:08:16.320 I don't care how you try to give it to me.

01:08:17.260 You're on strike now.

01:08:17.840 The answer is no.

01:08:18.400 I'll have chicken.

01:08:19.840 No.

01:08:20.320 The answer is no.

01:08:21.480 Oh, my God.

01:08:22.040 If I got something like that, too, I'd be on that kind of tip, too.

01:08:24.700 That is so scary.

01:08:26.120 It was horrifying.

01:08:26.900 That sounds like a movie.

01:08:28.200 Yeah.

01:08:28.560 Oh, my God.

01:08:29.340 awful well not a fun fact it was oh it was so fun just a terrible fact okay last one it says

01:08:36.580 when you were living in chicago you got a job with a cabaret group and sang barbara streisand

01:08:41.360 or mariah carey at strip clubs while the dancers were changing that is true i but i wouldn't call

01:08:46.380 it a job as so much as it was a really awful hobby but yes every weekend we would go and we

01:08:51.620 We would say this child's community theater program to raise money for that would put on shows.

01:09:00.940 And the only place we could perform these shows, the kids weren't coming, it was adults, was we would put on a cabaret show. 1.00

01:09:06.500 But it was all at gay strip clubs. 0.98

01:09:08.600 And I remember they needed singers.

01:09:11.060 So like when everyone's changing, the dancers were changing, you know, they would have me up there and said, pick any songs you want.

01:09:18.280 So just imagine just going to a strip club.

01:09:21.380 There's already six people in the audience. 0.67

01:09:23.060 It's cabaret.

01:09:24.220 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:24.940 Someone's like, dick is out. 1.00

01:09:26.680 Everyone's getting horny. 1.00

01:09:27.680 And then I'm up like, until forever.

01:09:32.400 Like, imagine the hate.

01:09:34.360 But it was fun.

01:09:35.100 I mean, we'd be in basements.

01:09:36.360 I just think the thought of cabaret and strippers. 1.00

01:09:39.320 You know, in a gay club. 0.95

01:09:41.080 It just kind of made sense.

01:09:43.160 Did it?

01:09:43.260 I was happy to.

01:09:43.880 Yeah, I was happy to do it.

01:09:45.940 Well.

01:09:46.760 That's why when I started going to open mics,

01:09:48.120 I was like, it's a child's play.

01:09:50.000 You guys don't perform.

01:09:52.380 You don't know what hard looks like.

01:09:54.360 You guys go to Hydrate where the sign in the bathroom says no meth.

01:09:58.460 Please.

01:10:00.300 While you're listening to Cabaret.

01:10:01.880 You're reading that while you're listening to Cabaret.

01:10:04.260 I talk about my first experience in a strip club.

01:10:06.740 My first and last experience in a strip club.

01:10:09.700 Nothing short of horrifying.

01:10:11.000 I talk about it being like a haunted house.

01:10:13.000 Like just around every corner.

01:10:14.580 Like around every corner.

01:10:16.400 Just horrifying and terrible.

01:10:17.900 and I got a lap dance

01:10:19.100 on a stage

01:10:19.800 to the song

01:10:20.980 Work From Home

01:10:21.580 by Fifth Harmony

01:10:22.220 Work

01:10:22.800 You familiar?

01:10:23.740 Yes

01:10:24.100 Yes of course 0.70

01:10:24.760 You think I turned gay yesterday? 0.66

01:10:27.320 Right

01:10:27.720 But I never know how to react

01:10:29.120 like when the lap dance

01:10:30.100 is happening

01:10:30.580 I'm always like

01:10:31.500 so go to college

01:10:32.780 like I don't know

01:10:33.500 what to say

01:10:34.240 It was pretty awful

01:10:35.160 and there was a lot

01:10:36.320 of talking

01:10:36.800 like as he's like

01:10:38.100 grinding on me

01:10:38.760 he was like asking me

01:10:39.760 questions to get to know me

01:10:40.900 which was unsettling

01:10:42.400 and for multiple reasons

01:10:43.420 I'm sure

01:10:43.800 and he was dressed

01:10:44.340 as a construction worker

01:10:45.300 Hack

01:10:46.380 But also like

01:10:47.600 for them it's the same as like them being in the office so for you it's this new experience but for

01:10:53.360 them it's like working the 4 p.m shift at staples right they're used to it just another day yes

01:10:58.580 it's like yes so what do you do you're like oh my i you know like i know it was really it was a

01:11:05.320 really horrifying experience and then at the end of the the big finale of it was like he picked me

01:11:10.120 up like but upside down work shook me like he was shaking the change out of my pockets go go boy

01:11:16.040 exotic dancer i love that i'm not even saying it sarcastically i think the world of these people

01:11:21.620 i just think they're like these beautiful people dancing and have so much confidence

01:11:26.580 yeah honestly they're better than me and when we left i was like i remember he um went and gave my

01:11:33.400 mom his number to give to me because he was like he asked me if i was single and i was like

01:11:38.440 yes after we did that it feels like i can't even look at you bro years ago i went to magic my me 0.99

01:11:45.080 nicole byron oh my gosh to vegas because nicole and her her exact quote is i want to get fucked 0.93

01:11:52.160 on stage so we start with the best we go to magic mike we get the front row you know the whole thing 1.00

01:11:57.680 and the whole show oh my god how i want to get fucked i want to get fucked i want to get fucked 0.98

01:12:01.220 so what happens um not only does she not get picked so sheer was brought out on stage to the 0.99

01:12:06.660 piano number where they lifted her above the entire stage on a piano while everyone danced

01:12:11.280 around her i have a video of nicole crying into her goblet vodka soda then uh one of the strippers

01:12:16.820 came up to me and handed me his number and him and i had sex that night so so honestly was an 0.99

01:12:22.820 awesome fucking night it was well then nicole was like we're going someone did get fucked yes yes 0.99

01:12:27.680 yes and so then she also got into a fight with a woman at the share concert but um we 0.99

01:12:31.900 we this the usher was a bitch to me and nicole yeah so anyway then we went to 0.95

01:12:37.600 thunder down under which really was a downgrade i mean i've heard that i've heard that magic mike 0.98

01:12:43.060 is better magic mike's a great show thunder down under felt a little bit like a quinceanera was

01:12:47.960 gonna happen right after like it was like set up like tables like if everyone can please move their

01:12:53.180 own chair yeah that was the feeling you ever been to like a family party like a quinceanera

01:12:58.720 something where it's like it's like kind of that plastic you ever been to a wedding like that or

01:13:01.820 you do that and then they have you move your chair into the tent yes yes and then that happened and

01:13:06.980 they almost ripped off so she was wig at the time and then nicole ended up on stage and she did they 0.72

01:13:11.740 did an orgasm contest obviously nicole won yes and then they said what would you like to sign 1.00

01:13:16.340 she goes can i get fucked and instead she took a picture with the cast that was what 1.00

01:13:21.000 and you're on then i got another number and got another 0.98

01:13:24.500 you're also i was really up that weekend i don't know about her but i had an awesome weekend it

01:13:31.880 just was a ridiculous weekend i guess nicole we should go back to vegas and get you yeah you gotta

01:13:36.660 to you gotta go relive reclaim reclaim the space you know what i mean me too well i have had a hoot

01:13:44.700 and a holler talking to you this was honestly such a treat i cannot thank you enough for having me on

01:13:48.800 this show oh my god thank you for coming on to do this likewise and i can't wait to hopefully

01:13:52.780 keep doing more things together yes uh but before we sign off for today like i would love to know

01:13:58.180 if you have any advice for any aspiring comics or maybe people who have been in it and maybe haven't

01:14:02.380 seen the the success yet or what they would measure as success like do you have any words

01:14:06.820 of wisdom for them well i think the most important thing is you should love your jokes and love the

01:14:12.480 friends that are in your life i think those two things just keep you on forever and you know it's

01:14:16.920 always changing like the game's always changing but the thing that doesn't change is work ethic

01:14:22.180 so get up as much as you possibly can i think people are always looking for the answer when

01:14:26.780 i'm on stage what do i do it's like well that's that's what stand-up is there's no class for it

01:14:31.140 you just have to sign up and go and just go and don't have the mentality that everybody is against

01:14:36.300 you when you go into an open mic comics are going to try and sniff you out once you show up three

01:14:41.100 four times you can start to weed out the people that don't matter and find some of your best

01:14:46.160 friends yeah so i would say just focus on those things and you know success shows up in so many

01:14:52.960 different ways so don't the goal shouldn't be i need money i need this it should be exactly you

01:14:58.120 want to be on stage you want the goal is to be on stage as much as possible because it doesn't

01:15:02.660 change and hone your craft too it helps you get better like you said and i think i do want to say

01:15:08.040 too i think it's really amazing what a wonderful supportive friend you've been to to because

01:15:13.980 you're friends with so many other comics drag queens or both or lots of lots of people who

01:15:19.340 are famous and successful and i think that's really beautiful that you have so many friends

01:15:23.240 because that's something i think that can be rare in this industry is like finding genuine

01:15:27.620 connection and friendship with people who are not you could see as competitors but they're not

01:15:33.020 like you everyone has something like you said very unique and amazing to add to the space

01:15:37.540 and i think when you have that abundance mindset like that like that's kind of how i move too

01:15:42.060 um and you make friends and you're happy for your friends when they see success and joy and they do

01:15:46.620 all these wonderful things and then when it happens for you they're just as happy and supportive of

01:15:50.840 you i think that's really beautiful and i i think that's very obvious about you which i want to

01:15:54.920 commend you on i think that's beautiful yeah we all went through the trenches together so it's fun

01:15:59.120 that we're all like we're like getting to live in the fun part together yeah right you all moved

01:16:05.000 you all made it to the other side yes oh that was very nice of you thank you yeah of course i think

01:16:09.600 that's really amazing and obviously i think you're fucking hilarious so obviously and that is obvious 0.54

01:16:14.600 obviously uh but thank you so much for coming on the show thank you for having me i fucking love

01:16:18.140 you i think you're amazing and so fun and everyone who maybe hasn't followed mateo and because maybe

01:16:24.860 you were born yesterday where can everybody find you you can go to mateo lane comedy.com or just

01:16:30.100 mateo lane with two t's on instagram or tiktok yes and mateo is hilarious and you'll see for

01:16:36.100 yourself if you haven't already and thank you so much to our amazing guests for joining us this

01:16:39.440 week thank you all for so much for tuning in don't forget new episodes of the comment section drop

01:16:42.920 every wednesday you can stream the audio on all streaming platforms put the video list for free

01:16:47.040 and exclusively on our favorite platform youtube thank you so much again thank you so much to my

01:16:51.220 amazing guest, Mateo Lane, and I'll see you next week. Bye.

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The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - September 16, 2026

MATTEO LANE CAN SING AT YOUR WEDDING OR FUNERAL (Ft. Matteo Lane) ｜ Episode 239

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