The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - WHY DO TRANS PEOPLE TRIGGER YOU？｜ Drew Afualo ft. Jesse Sullivan

00:00:00.000 I bought my boyfriend a bag right and he was like he was dying for one he was like I could put all

00:00:05.740 my things I was like isn't that crazy like you have a thing to hold your thing yeah

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00:01:12.480 casino.com for details please play responsibly hey everyone and welcome back to a very special

00:01:17.820 episode of the comment section show before I introduce my wonderful amazing guests I want

00:01:22.980 to announce that it is the season finale so I am dressed for the Met Gala and that's because

00:01:28.540 I wanted to and it's my show so on to my favorite person of the day it's my newest guest my last guest

00:01:35.800 of season one saving the best for last Jesse Sully I am so happy to be here I'm so happy to have you I'm

00:01:43.900 honored I know this is like you're literally like a celebrity in my household stop stop you laugh alone

00:01:49.200 there you go there it is yeah it's famous the laugh I told Jesse last night this is a little

00:01:55.620 insider info I messaged him I said hey I'm gonna dress for the Oscars take it as you will I never

00:02:02.260 tell anyone sometimes people come in they're like I like how Drew always picks a theme and doesn't tell

00:02:06.360 her guests like I'm literally like a cowgirl I'm an e-girl and dressed for the Oscars so I told Jesse

00:02:13.580 Jesse goes I don't have a suit so I'll do my best you're the complete opposite yeah no I actually

00:02:19.480 like I was like well I could probably throw together something a little like Oscar-y right but I was like

00:02:24.500 you know what I'm just gonna go as comfy as possible let you shine it's your show it's your

00:02:30.000 season finale I love that I love that for us because you support women hell yeah you know it's all the

00:02:36.800 little ways right it's more like like Canadian you know they say Canadian formals like jeans yeah jeans on

00:02:42.780 jean yeah that's you vibes today yeah the Canadian tuxedo yeah I'm just so over the top extra always

00:02:48.500 if you couldn't tell hell yeah you should be as you should be but on to you I am so honored to have

00:02:54.920 you on my show I think you're incredible you and Arlo are the lights of my life and Francesca I'll

00:03:00.020 throw her in there too Francesca I love you bitch Francesca loves you too she knows how much I love her

00:03:04.380 so I'm so happy because I've been following you for a long time I literally told Jesse I was

00:03:09.860 following him and Francesca before you guys got together yeah I was peeping I was peeping the

00:03:14.820 flirting I was like like I'm watching I didn't even know that I didn't know you followed us that long

00:03:19.400 and like I she would just always like show me your videos and I started following you and I was like

00:03:23.120 it was like mutuals and I was like I was like starstruck I was like this is the best thing ever

00:03:27.980 feeling was mutual I was telling Drew that me and Francesca and even Arlo too like at night

00:03:31.960 literally go to bed like watching your TikToks cracking up dying like you can hear that laugh

00:03:37.880 like in my apartment like echoing through at like 2 a.m. I'm honored I'm so honored I guess

00:03:43.200 I'm part of your family yeah you are I'm part of your family you're part of the family the chosen

00:03:46.900 family you and Francesca could adopt me I'm cool with that would honestly be amazing people tell

00:03:51.460 me all the time you should adopt me I'm like no I want Jesse and Francesca to adopt me yeah that's

00:03:56.000 my dream yeah and then you could be Arlo's sibling I would love Arlo's so cool and I'm so jealous

00:04:02.180 Arlo is so cool I want to be Arlo when I grow up me too me too how old is Arlo now

00:04:07.020 Arlo's 13 almost 14 but going on like 36 like honestly way more mature than I am what's Arlo's

00:04:14.440 sign Leo we're both Leo you're both Leo yeah okay what's Francesca um a Scorpio oh spicy I know

00:04:22.320 Leos and Scorpios together are either like match made in heaven yeah either match made in heaven

00:04:27.360 or so bad just hell on earth yeah the opposite and we have our moments don't get me wrong but

00:04:32.200 you know for the most part it's literally heaven so I think that's so wow all is Scorpio fire yeah

00:04:38.360 right so all fire our household is fire it's queer it's a lot of things right and it's so and

00:04:45.660 that's a perfect transition yeah it's a our topic today because today with Jesse we're going to be

00:04:50.040 talking about gender identity right which you are very familiar with and I'd like love to hear your

00:04:55.400 thoughts as far as like what your what your first initial thought is when you hear about gender

00:04:59.340 identity and how it's described or how it appeals to you or yeah gender identity I think is something

00:05:05.080 that is still like so insanely misunderstood because I think what's happening a lot still is

00:05:10.780 people are mixing gender identity with sex yeah so whatever you're born with they're saying oh no

00:05:15.420 you were born with female parts you're going to be a female for the rest of your life but gender

00:05:19.200 identity goes so far beyond that yeah and it's how you express yourself it's what you identify with

00:05:24.700 yeah and if you really can understand the simple like dichotomy between those two things yeah I

00:05:30.940 feel like people would understand trans people or gender non-conforming people so much more it's

00:05:35.560 like it's really that simple and you can even break it down to like that cis people even have gender

00:05:40.440 identity right you know that's how you expression yeah gender expression and it's important to every

00:05:46.020 individual not just gender non-conforming people so you know like someone once said that like we're

00:05:51.860 technically all in costume and I think that's true like we all are so true and so why is there

00:05:56.340 such a big difference when you know I transition and I dress this way or look this way you know

00:06:00.580 well and gender is a construct right so it's been imposed on us yes as soon as we're born we don't

00:06:06.320 choose that when we're born and it wasn't until recently that that started happening once you know

00:06:11.800 religion and all of that happened right kind of when it started really taking its shape and kind of

00:06:16.680 molding culture and society as we know it now so that's another reason why I really loved your

00:06:21.980 content because it taught me a lot about like gender identity gender expression and how like

00:06:27.300 it is in no way synonymous with sexuality or anything like that which I think is is so empowering

00:06:33.300 especially since Arlo is non-binary yeah correct so it's like it's some it's so informative and it's

00:06:39.900 so important right because I every time I talk about this I get emotional don't tell the men

00:06:44.420 don't it'll ruin my street cred but anytime I talk about like representation on a much grander

00:06:49.720 scale yeah it makes me emotional because I think about how important it is to see people like you

00:06:54.600 in positions of power where they have platforms right so you and you being a parent to someone like

00:07:00.600 Arlo too so powerful thank you so much I love that I mean like I think I've told people this before

00:07:06.780 that like I actually struggle with wanting to tell my story on TikTok and stuff because as like a trans

00:07:12.680 man it obviously is way more comfortable to just be like okay I'm just a guy if nobody knows me on

00:07:17.400 that platform I could just start posting as a guy no one will know yeah and you know like the night

00:07:22.200 before I was deciding to do that a 13 year old dm'd me and was like I'm struggling so much with like

00:07:26.840 my gender and my household doesn't support me and I have no one to look up to and blah blah blah and

00:07:32.520 it's always in that moment that like I knew I was like it's my duty I have to do it for that 13 year

00:07:37.860 old for me when I was 13 and I didn't have anyone to look up to and for like every young person out

00:07:42.660 there and I posted my story the next day and that's really like how I even blew up on TikTok yeah I

00:07:47.220 know I remember I saw that video and I was like this is so incredible just like and the bravery it

00:07:54.300 takes it so it sounds corny and I don't want to hear it but sometimes it takes courage to post stuff

00:07:59.180 like that because oh hell yeah truly vile on the internet oh my god you and I both know that yes

00:08:03.820 I get vile vile like violent comments same same and it's it's truly horrid like the way that some

00:08:11.740 people are so incredibly triggered and upset by you just like existing people you're yeah just existing

00:08:18.700 and also telling other people right because it's it's just because no one's ever like someone hasn't

00:08:25.540 ever been exposed to people like you and Arlo doesn't mean that they haven't ever existed in

00:08:30.740 the history exactly it's like I've never seen it so clearly it's not real yeah which is ignorance and

00:08:35.520 you know what like something you and I have in common with our platforms that I've thought about

00:08:38.800 this because so many people have asked me like why do you think the world is so triggered by trans

00:08:43.640 people or non-binary people yeah and I always say the same thing I think when you are so

00:08:48.540 like shamelessly you and so brave and you you're unapologetic for exactly who you are people kind

00:08:57.040 of can't handle that because it triggers something inside them where they're like I can barely just be

00:09:01.400 myself as like a cis person how are you able to be so comfortable that you're telling the world like

00:09:07.080 you literally changed your body your everything yeah and I think that's kind of another reason why like

00:09:11.960 men come for you it's like they see you as this woman that is so unapologetic and that triggers

00:09:17.020 something so deep and they're misogyny no truly that they literally go to bed crying at night

00:09:21.320 yeah and I go to bed I sleep like this yeah and you're sleeping like a baby I go to bed soundly

00:09:28.200 and peacefully they're crying like a baby you're sleeping like a baby and you know what as as the

00:09:33.440 universe intended yes that's what I would say hell yeah and I I think too it's it's another like point

00:09:39.340 of how ingrained and like in a absolute chokehold the patriarchy and toxic masculinity and

00:09:46.700 all of that has on the world right that they feel so like compelled to tell you who you are right

00:09:53.920 like it's like who like I just get the comment like girl like over and over again but like girl girl

00:09:59.500 woman girl always be a girl I'm like you took that time out of your day to say that because it didn't

00:10:04.240 do anything to me yeah like and and it's like who is this for yeah who is this for you or me because

00:10:09.680 it's not doing anything for me yeah and then even when you if you respond to you're like okay

00:10:13.760 yeah they're like exactly yeah it's like yeah and it's like you know I think what they think is

00:10:21.120 if they comment that then I'm gonna be like wow I am a girl oh my god I didn't know this you know

00:10:27.900 what's great I never thought about that before yeah maybe I am yeah like it's it I I say that all the

00:10:33.720 time especially when in my case when it comes to talking like misogynist or any sort of like fat

00:10:39.860 phobia transphobia homophobia you name it because they have them all um anytime I talk about stuff

00:10:45.400 like that I think to myself I can't change you yeah if you don't take the necessary steps to

00:10:51.660 unlearn it and educate yourself I'm I'm sure as hell not gonna do it yeah exactly and if and when it

00:10:56.960 comes to me you already don't like women right exactly you're gonna listen to a woman tell you hey

00:11:02.120 that's not nice to say yeah that's why I cut that part out I cut out the middleman I'm just gonna

00:11:06.560 hurt your feelings that's just how it is for me so and I love it yeah bleep bleep I think it's I

00:11:14.720 another like point to it too is that you are almost always expected to be respectful in the face of

00:11:21.160 being openly disrespected like they expect you to take the high road always always always they do it

00:11:26.960 to me and I know they do it to you oh they do and you know it's hard on my platform because obviously

00:11:30.740 you know a lot of it's with my kid and so a lot of our following is young so I do always try to be

00:11:35.400 you know as respectful as I can but it's not my job like you said to teach these people oh and my

00:11:41.660 job is to comfort young people not to teach people who already have hate in their hearts yeah I'm not

00:11:46.980 going to change them like you said like they're not going to listen to a woman when they already

00:11:49.940 hate a woman they're not going to listen to a trans guy when they think trans people should die

00:11:54.060 like yeah exactly you know what am I going to do for you and that shouldn't be expected yeah it's

00:11:58.720 really not my job and like you know you just like listed all the phobias and like people are always

00:12:02.180 like you know like is it a fear and I always say like it's they're not scared of us they're scared

00:12:07.120 of something inside themselves and when you're scared of something inside yourself like what am

00:12:11.960 I going to do for you you got to dig deep you got to go to therapy I can't help you I was just about

00:12:15.600 to say I was just about to say we talked about that in my last episode too therapy could do wonders

00:12:20.260 for you man and it could literally set you free I feel like you should almost like be born a man and

00:12:25.880 then just have to go to therapy it's a requirement yeah like I literally think like like getting a

00:12:31.100 driver's license yeah on there it should say have you gone to therapy yeah and it's gonna say no

00:12:34.460 they're like sorry I can't give it to you exactly you gotta you gotta meet the requirements and then

00:12:37.320 I promise every single guy would because they they need their trucks that's right they need their

00:12:41.940 lifted trucks yeah their Toyota Tacoma yeah I mean what would they do without them I know how would

00:12:48.320 anyone know how manly they are I know didn't have that big truck yeah I want to say something else

00:12:52.180 how big they're but it's that too yeah that too and I think it's like it's it's also too like you

00:12:59.440 said it's a jealousy thing yeah a lot of times because they're it's rooted in like envy because

00:13:04.680 they're thinking to themselves like I am so insecure and I hate myself yes and how is this person that

00:13:09.720 the world has taught me should hate themselves how are they navigating life and not exactly exactly so

00:13:15.060 they get so like violent and angry and it literally triggers something so deep inside them because

00:13:20.660 society has ingrained these things in them and they're like I don't understand why you're

00:13:25.280 posting your whole life your whole story and you're loving yourself like exactly this is so

00:13:29.940 scary what do I do like short circuit they start like it's a horror film to them no it really is

00:13:36.100 they're like wait a second like their whole world something's not computing it's that tiktok like

00:13:40.880 butterfly in the sky and it's like all the numbers are going around them they're trying to like truly

00:13:46.740 understand like the world has taught me that I should hate these people and they should hate

00:13:50.840 themselves and so it's just it's jealousy more than anything yeah absolutely if you actually like

00:13:56.620 look at like a lot of like different tribes different societies throughout history even modern

00:14:02.120 ones yeah um that aren't like western society and aren't you know completely just destroyed by like

00:14:09.080 modern religion they actually like see people that have multiple genders or changed genders as like

00:14:14.580 the elite people in society yeah and they're like the elders and they like look up to them and they go to

00:14:19.340 them for advice and like so it really just shows you it's a societal issue and and that's such a good

00:14:25.000 point because even like I'm someone so we have a third gender in my culture as well so do a lot of

00:14:30.180 indigenous cultures do um and I I think it's so like absolutely wild that they think like modern

00:14:38.520 civilization which is started from like colonization and the pillaging of culture right rape and pledge of

00:14:43.960 all culture right and they're like this is it this is the real world right here yeah don't worry

00:14:48.840 about the hundreds of years before that just focus on these these or even just the culture still

00:14:52.500 existing right now yeah but they only see their little like white western culture yeah and they're

00:14:58.160 like that's it that's it that's it there's nothing else I I checked I checked and they said that's it

00:15:03.240 that's it that's us yeah so now that we've kind of like opened the door for what we're going to talk

00:15:09.540 about today for those of you who don't know what we like to do in the comment section is we bring

00:15:13.100 videos here that I've been tagged in and we like rip them apart make fun of them make jokes but also

00:15:18.100 teach we're choosing to teach but not people that hate us yes we're teaching people that want to

00:15:22.960 learn and that's big difference exactly that's the only only time I will ever teach anybody so for

00:15:30.200 this first video that I got tagged in I just like to give little summaries of them so uh this is

00:15:37.100 basically a person who's explaining how they've identified as quotes pretty much all the letters in

00:15:43.020 the lgbtq plus and they kind of go through their journey of being born female identifying as a

00:15:48.620 lesbian then they were non-binary then trans now they identify as queer because that is the overarching

00:15:54.080 term and they don't really need to define it so specifically right and I feel like again it takes

00:16:00.380 a lot of courage and bravery to post things like that especially on tiktok definitely tiktok's

00:16:06.820 extra rotten like every every social media platform has like trolls and has terrible people

00:16:12.440 on it right something about tiktok you get on the wrong side and it's I know I mean for me it's

00:16:19.600 actually instagram's worse but I don't know why that is that's actually really fair to say I that's

00:16:25.840 actually true because my friend sirius who's non-binary yeah oh my god yeah they told me that

00:16:30.740 instagram's way way way yeah like death threats like I think because I'm on the right side of tiktok for the

00:16:35.300 most part like true I just I get them don't get me wrong but it's just not as savage as yeah and

00:16:41.180 it's like it's just in any facet of putting yourself out there like that and then garnering an audience

00:16:46.960 to watch it's like the best and worst thing in the world totally like it could be I always just try to

00:16:53.100 tell myself focus on how much more positivity but exactly I mean and that's why like sometimes I'll

00:16:58.300 talk about like the negative shit I get a lot but like I'm like it's like 98 percent positive

00:17:04.860 and that little two exactly it's killer sometimes but for the most part it's like it's it far outweighs

00:17:12.080 the bad right the good always far as far outweighs the bad and honestly I think if we weren't built so

00:17:18.160 differently I don't think a lot of people couldn't handle it no no I think that's why a lot of people

00:17:23.040 don't like yeah I think they try to post and stuff and then they're like oh my god that's the comment

00:17:27.500 section you know like literally like do they ever get do you ever get people asking you like how do you

00:17:31.980 oh yeah how do you navigate this yeah all the time like I like I'll have people be like you know I want to

00:17:36.380 post my story you know it's similar to yours but I literally could not handle the comments you get

00:17:40.800 and I'm like I just you know I think it's kind of just this simple like I focus on the positivity like

00:17:47.280 I like that I get more dms that are saying like hey I'm 15 and you literally made me like want to keep

00:17:53.140 going then I do like you know men saying like you're going to hell and like blah blah so that keeps me going

00:17:59.380 and I just let it roll off my shoulders I'm a happy person with you know my own little family

00:18:04.260 and you know we both have our own shows so we're doing pretty well do they no they have throwaway

00:18:10.880 accounts that like don't even have profile pictures the anime picture yeah yeah those little green

00:18:15.960 monsters yeah yeah so I'd say we're doing pretty well yeah killing it we're doing we're killing it the

00:18:21.840 two of us good for us so some of the comments on this video like this first one says this is why I

00:18:27.340 like queer as a term so much because it's like I'm some kind of gay I don't have to update any

00:18:32.940 everyone if it swaps or changes a bit right which I think is fair I mean it's it's all it's all specific

00:18:38.980 to the person I feel like yeah it's always it's up to you whatever you feel is right and true

00:18:44.000 that's what you do babe it's all up to you and then this one says this is literally why I just say

00:18:49.640 I'm queer because hell if I know any more than that like we literally just talked about this on my show

00:18:55.160 it was so interesting we were talking about like we had a guest on who was talking about the phases

00:18:59.500 and how he went from you know like a kind of like non-binary kid to a lesbian to kind of back to that

00:19:06.820 to now a trans man who dates men and he was like you know like people could see that as like a phase

00:19:13.620 as like a negative thing but this is just me navigating my life why is that wrong you know

00:19:17.380 and something Arlo said actually after the show Arlo was like you know I like queer because queer just

00:19:23.220 kind of is that umbrella term that I just am non-gender conforming yeah and I like like both

00:19:29.360 sexes and you know and I think you know when I was in college I remember like studying like queer

00:19:34.560 theory was actually one of my minors and one of the things that like I remember reading is they like

00:19:39.440 a way to define queer is that anything that face takes the normative head on so you're just nothing

00:19:44.920 you're just not the normative you know exactly and I think that's like a you know what people those

00:19:48.920 people are saying is true like you can have phases you can go in and out and if you want to

00:19:52.060 umbrella term it as queer after yeah that's your again it's it's no one else's business but your

00:19:57.420 own like how you want to navigate it how you want to move through it there's no timeline yeah there's

00:20:02.220 no like you have to know by this time yeah else like no no it's it's and it's also on a spectrum

00:20:07.840 so it it's fluid it's fluid it moves and it ebbs and it flows it has nothing to do with

00:20:13.080 like who you're supposed to be or like that's all that's society pressure yeah and I think cis people

00:20:19.280 are also trying to figure out their lives and having phases and it's just not amplified like

00:20:23.240 ours and yeah you know I went through from fully being a so cis representing that I like dated a

00:20:28.820 man and got pregnant and gave birth to coming out as a lesbian to now I'm a trans man yeah you know

00:20:34.240 and like this is obviously where I'm settled in life I'm older I figured my shit out but like

00:20:38.380 I think it's so important for young people to feel like they can have those phases like it's not

00:20:44.440 you don't have to be sure by 13 14 15 even 20 you know figure it out do your life date who you want

00:20:51.060 exactly and can you imagine like if you had stuck to some of the things you decided when you were 13

00:20:56.520 oh my god like the fact that they want to hold like people to the choices they made when they

00:21:02.760 were 13 yeah like who you're supposed to be or what your sexuality supposed to be but like they'll

00:21:08.860 they'll see a sweater you wore when you were 13 you're like ew gross how could you ever wear that

00:21:13.620 like I'm so glad you grew out of that but it doesn't apply to any other facet of your life

00:21:17.920 right it's just wild to me yeah it is and also like why people care so much why do they care so

00:21:23.540 much you know no I can't relate I'm like I'm busy I'm stressed I have too much I don't want to take

00:21:29.760 on other people's yeah like lives I have I can't even barely manage my own I know it's so crazy that

00:21:35.280 they like lawmakers and stuff care enough to literally try to get like trans kids not to play sports

00:21:39.920 like how are you like going to bed at night being like tomorrow I'm gonna wake up I'm gonna make sure

00:21:45.140 that 12 year old can't play basketball yeah you know what I'm gonna that's on my to-do list tomorrow

00:21:49.480 yeah to be a bigot and then right under that it's make sure I ban trans kids from sports yeah yeah

00:21:54.040 yeah the whole like especially the issue with um trans athletes I was like some of these men

00:22:00.560 yeah some of you were a little too invested yes exactly and I was saying I always think too

00:22:07.020 I'm like if you removed yourself even further because it's none of your goddamn business but let's just

00:22:11.880 say you removed yourself even further they're an olympian yeah and you're at home exactly

00:22:18.240 judging yeah focus on that yeah a couch coach yeah nice you know what you know I'm gonna listen to

00:22:24.180 that Brent from Kansas yeah you know what bring him to the olympic committee here I think he needs to

00:22:29.660 give us a sense literally I'm so I'm so interested what he has to say bring him on down yeah I just

00:22:35.580 can't believe oh my it's absolutely insane the space that like the lgbtq I play I plus takes up

00:22:43.960 in in these people's heads and you know I always say the same thing when it's like especially a man

00:22:49.160 that's doing the commenting yeah I'm like there's something something going on in your I'm saying I

00:22:55.140 talked about it with Isaiah I was like every single time I swear I know like deep down they're just

00:22:59.580 like man I wish I could date men or I wish you know yeah listen listen listen listen why do we

00:23:05.380 always see like the most conservative politicians end up coming out and like they were like caught

00:23:09.020 at like a gay bar or like listen if the shoe fits babe exactly it's if it happens multiple times that's

00:23:16.440 what we call a pattern yep that's what we call an established behavior but we can predict how the

00:23:21.060 story ends from there oh my gosh just absolutely I just I'll never understand I'll never understand I'm

00:23:26.680 like y'all have clearly don't have jobs because this is all you'd be worrying about step one go get

00:23:31.460 a job upload your application on indeed it's free zero cost yeah take advantage of it yeah now all

00:23:39.280 that time you're online yeah let's switch over to instead of commenting on a 14 year olds trans 14

00:23:43.800 year olds instagram fucking upload your resume let's go to monster.com let's get on linkedin yeah

00:23:50.120 let's like attack some other channels or you know what go old school print a application out

00:23:55.860 walk into a starbucks you know you have time on your hands take it to a post office right make

00:24:02.160 multiple copies then you get outside get some sun yeah right so this next comment says force you to

00:24:08.480 shower there you go I mean even and even then yeah and even then this last comment says this is such a

00:24:14.900 great example of how self-discovery is a process and you don't have to know who you are immediately or ever

00:24:19.840 really pick a label right amen yeah I mean I think that's kind of what we like we're just discussing

00:24:25.180 and I think you know something that like people bring up to me all the time they're like oh are

00:24:29.140 you so scared letting Arlo be like non-binary at 13 like what if they change their mind later I'm like

00:24:34.460 well then they change their mind later you know like two years ago a year ago Arlo was dressing really

00:24:40.540 feminine and like people always put that on me they're like they dress like a boy because you made

00:24:44.360 them dress like a boy I'm like no they have discovered themselves since they were two years old

00:24:48.880 like we all should be able to like believe it or not they have their own brain yeah they have their

00:24:53.960 own brain and feelings yeah and and emotions and I always say the same thing like when people say

00:24:58.300 that I'm like so if I as a trans dad can force my kid to be trans then you as a cis parent are you

00:25:04.820 forcing your kid to be cis because and how does this work they're like whoa talking about me yeah

00:25:09.160 no it's it's only if it's gay stuff like oh oh okay missing is that it's gay yeah that's the

00:25:15.880 part you're missing gay stuff that's that's a media as soon as you turn it around they're like

00:25:20.600 well hold on yeah hold on hold on all of a sudden it's not about well it's not about that kind of

00:25:25.180 parenting oh no I know it's only the gay stuff yeah you're like it's not about bad parenting yeah

00:25:30.960 yeah good parenting and I also say the same thing too like you know I always say it's like giving it's

00:25:37.160 like giving kids two colors like if you raise your kid and you're like okay there's only yellow

00:25:40.660 and green in the world guess what your kid is probably gonna like yellow or green you know

00:25:45.200 probably deep down they're gonna hope there's something else out there but they're only gonna

00:25:47.920 say yeah I like green or I like yellow whereas with Arlo I was like literally there's an endless

00:25:52.640 spectrum of a rainbow of colors you can like and you know like just as an example Arlo's favorite

00:25:58.600 color is the more blue periwinkle so it just is like it's like a metaphor to who they are I gave

00:26:03.720 them the space to literally be whoever whatever and they've changed and they've grown and right now

00:26:09.740 they're they them and it could be different later on and they know that my household will love them

00:26:13.700 no matter what and that's how it should be and that's all that matters and then it also it it speaks

00:26:18.260 to your ability to give them the space and like the trust that they know what they're doing and they

00:26:24.980 know themselves best right and then I I think this all the time because like for me like my sister

00:26:30.300 is queer so for me she's taught me a lot about sexuality gender identity and expression and all

00:26:36.280 of that which is I'm so grateful for because it helps me become a better person believe it or not

00:26:40.880 yeah when you're more educated you're a better person at the end of the day because you understand

00:26:45.720 and empathize with people that may not be in the same boat you are exactly whatever that may be I

00:26:50.540 think queer people in general are so great for that and that's why like a lot of what I do what I do

00:26:55.040 on online is because I'm not only trying to like talk about lgq lgbtq plus issues but I'm also trying

00:27:01.200 to use them as like a an example of kind of things we all go through and trying to give everyone

00:27:07.480 empathy because like you know you could hear a queer story and you could be a cis person a straight

00:27:11.860 person and be like oh my god I identify with that part of that story even though I am not gay or

00:27:16.340 whatever it is and I think queer people are really great at teaching empathy in general oh my god yeah

00:27:21.560 you're that's so true and my sister's a Sagittarius which is so funny because but it's like it's it's

00:27:28.800 one of those things too like for me I've I've talked to people about as far as like when my sister came

00:27:33.520 out to me and how like we her and I like learned more about each other in that sense I was like I

00:27:40.300 always tell them too it's not about you like if you're some if someone trusts you and loves you enough

00:27:45.480 to come out to you right it's not up to you to decide like well I need time to

00:27:51.500 think I mean yeah maybe you do sometimes but like at the end of the day it's not it has nothing

00:27:55.480 to do with you exactly I love that you said that because I promise you like nobody says that like

00:28:00.320 even very like woke allies they never understand how it has nothing to do with them no truly and if

00:28:06.840 someone is at the point of coming out to you I promise they've been thinking about that every

00:28:10.640 single night from the moment they were probably like four yeah so even if they do need time to

00:28:15.260 think on of it whatever like if they're at that point of like coming out to you the best thing you

00:28:18.320 do is just be like support them yeah love them and learn like you said and like you know I think

00:28:22.800 too like you said like you know it like kind of bonded you or and I think like when someone you

00:28:27.680 know comes out one or two you can choose one of two things you can have hate in your heart you can

00:28:32.200 have fear you can have fear for them or you can you know like choose for it to be this amazing moment

00:28:37.540 to get closer to that person yeah exactly and like when I came out as trans like a lot of my family

00:28:41.460 members obviously like kind of pushed me away and they didn't like it and you know a family member

00:28:46.480 said to me like I feel like I'm losing you and I was like it's that's so interesting because you're

00:28:51.180 actually gaining me because for the first time in my life I'm me yeah for the first time like the

00:28:55.760 truest the truest version and if you would have seen that you would have actually probably been

00:28:59.020 closer to me than you ever have yeah and then it's that it's their loss yeah exactly the end of

00:29:03.120 the day and I I think that too because I tell people like has nothing to do with you that person

00:29:08.000 just loves you and trusts you enough right to want to share that with you which I think is a

00:29:12.780 beautiful thing at the end of the day you should you should feel like honored yeah absolutely that

00:29:17.600 they feel like you've cultivated a space safe enough for them to want to share that with you

00:29:22.980 and that's why I tell people all the time to mind the business that pays you bitch exactly if it doesn't

00:29:31.020 pay you don't worry about it like it has nothing to do with you yeah so I I always say like it's if

00:29:36.600 it's not paying your bills feeding you housing you anything like don't worry about it don't worry

00:29:41.680 about it just be happy for them yep be happy for you that they were like open enough and

00:29:47.980 vulnerable enough to share that with you absolutely and the only I the only time I think that it's

00:29:53.180 like when people get like angry or whatever I'm like that's a that's a you it's always a them

00:29:58.240 once again that's on you that's not on me like you deal with that I'm gonna go be happy exactly

00:30:03.180 you can be miserable yes do that alone babe do it in silence do that with a therapist they

00:30:08.140 recommended highly recommended okay so we're gonna move on to this next video so this one says

00:30:15.900 basically a person is doing a sketch showing a conversation between a doctor and a parent

00:30:21.360 about their intersex child and saying that they are going to wait until their child is old enough

00:30:26.020 to choose how they identify which I think is wildly progressive and open I thought it was going to

00:30:33.260 be negative so I'm kind of glad it's not in that sense but yeah they're letting their child choose

00:30:37.660 right which I think I mean you just spoke about that yeah I think that's honestly such an important

00:30:43.040 thing to do I think we should be doing it with cis kids I'm not saying you know don't say he or she

00:30:48.020 if you know I get we so many people are so attached to that we have the gender reveals left and right

00:30:52.820 but um which I'm just I'm not gonna lie just I can't handle but it's real cringe

00:30:57.960 but you know I think at least just giving your kid that that space like we talked about to decide

00:31:04.800 for themselves no matter what is there yeah um is so important because then when they do you know

00:31:11.900 let's say if they are non-binary later on in life or trans or whatever they're not going to feel like

00:31:15.640 it's this dramatic like horrible horrible coming I'm changing these these things about who how you

00:31:21.940 told me I was from birth you know like when we set standards for kids they have to undo them

00:31:27.020 our generation especially has to undo these these lots of things that we you know we're raised with

00:31:33.740 like for instance like religion we have to undo you know the the idea that like this god is telling us

00:31:38.700 what we're doing all the time and we've got to go to hell for this or that you know or whatever it is

00:31:43.060 and so I think it's the same thing with gender if you give them the space to not have to undo later on

00:31:47.900 you're doing them such a big favor like yeah and you're like leaving it up to them yeah so often I feel

00:31:55.440 like it's it's everything's imposed on them so like this is who you are this is what you are and

00:32:00.640 that's why it turns into like you said something really scary and daunting as opposed to like oh

00:32:06.880 I think this is who I am yeah and you're like okay cool like that sounds good to me I think that's

00:32:12.120 and it's also like how everything in the world is gendered right right every literally everything

00:32:17.500 I forget who was I talking I was talking to someone recently and I was asking them if they had ever

00:32:21.880 seen those dude wipes yeah yeah yeah yeah they were like dude wipes and I was like it's literal

00:32:29.060 wipes like they're wipes for your ass right marketed towards but they're only for they're for men yes

00:32:34.700 they're in a black package so clearly not gay yeah so when you so when those men buy them they're not

00:32:40.440 feeling exactly a little fruity yeah they don't have to they don't have to these are boy wipes these

00:32:45.600 are for boys for boys butts yeah these are for only boys yeah and that actually shows too like

00:32:52.560 something I remember learning when I was in college too was that like a lot of what people miss so much

00:32:57.200 because they're so their minds are so controlled with gender is that a lot of it has to do with

00:33:02.160 capitalism like it started a long time ago all the back all the way back like before money got

00:33:09.200 introduced to like human beings and we were just tribes women were actually seeing all the statues

00:33:14.940 and everything were women like they were held way higher than men because they were the one they

00:33:19.340 created humans so they were like oh my god you guys are like literally magic we're dumb like we don't do

00:33:24.060 anything yeah and then when currency got involved they were like okay well I am gonna go you since

00:33:29.640 you're literally like breastfeeding the baby I'm gonna go do this currency thing and then it became this

00:33:34.440 distribution of power yep and so I mean we're talking about that was a long ass time ago so

00:33:39.880 if that shows all the way today they're you know gendering wipes yeah so that men feel

00:33:47.480 that masculinity it's and you know like like boy razors are blue and girl razors are pink and it's

00:33:53.700 like supposed to make you feel gendered and they don't people don't realize how it's actually such a

00:33:58.380 sense of control it no truly and conservatives talk about that all the time like they hate the control

00:34:03.280 well if you didn't you would hate gender you would be like yeah really you're like that checks

00:34:09.040 out that tracks yeah you feel that way yeah exactly and to your point about capitalism it's just like

00:34:14.040 that about how purses were created in order to get women to buy them yes but they were made really

00:34:20.980 I guess like I forget what it was just like women's pants didn't have pockets because women

00:34:24.460 didn't have money exactly and they never wore pants because they were supposed to wear skirts

00:34:28.080 for whatever because of religion and also modesty and all of that see how it all it all goes back

00:34:34.080 yeah it all leads to the same center point yeah which is again another thing of of how it's like

00:34:39.760 being pushed by capitalism too and that's like bags like purses now like I feel like now there's

00:34:46.260 kind of like a shift a little bit in that sense like lots of men are wearing bags but remember when

00:34:50.620 it was called a man bag yeah immerse and I and I remember too like just recently actually like

00:34:57.600 literally a week or two ago I bought my boyfriend a bag right and he was like he was dying for one

00:35:03.740 he was like I could put all my things yeah I was like isn't that crazy yeah like you have a thing

00:35:08.760 to hold your thing yeah wild because we have to put it in our pockets and we're sitting on them and it

00:35:13.220 like hurts exactly and you know where he ends up putting it in my purse so that's why get your own

00:35:17.980 purse no that's what Francesca says too I'm always like um can I and she has like this tiny little

00:35:23.080 purse she's like oh my god yeah he literally always puts things in my bag so now I'm like now you have

00:35:28.420 your bag yeah I could put things in your bag and you can carry your bag yeah and I do think you're

00:35:32.220 right we're seeing shifts and I think I honestly it's so crazy because I was literally thinking about

00:35:37.900 this the other day how it's literally like right now I'm seeing some of the biggest changes and it's

00:35:42.620 literally like people like you like I think you're you're doing something so different because

00:35:47.660 like I said before like it is so unapologetic like you're so not careful and it's so empowering

00:35:53.640 to the girls in your comments that are like literally like dying laughing and being like oh

00:35:57.500 my god I like yes girl you know like whatever and I think we need more of that because I think for so

00:36:03.280 long even the feminists you know were like like they they got categorized like either as like those

00:36:10.100 like they're so radical or like whatever it is and like I think people like you who are so like people

00:36:16.180 love you you're like you're fun loving at the same time but you're also like changing people's

00:36:20.180 perspectives yeah and I think like we're gonna see massive shifts like especially with the next

00:36:24.740 generation thank you that means a lot to me I feel the same way about your content too like truly

00:36:29.780 transformative like it really is like seeing people like you have a platform especially as a parent

00:36:34.960 yeah with your child too is just so powerful like thank you it makes such an impact on the world

00:36:41.400 especially I think other people who want to be parents or they're about to be parents yes watching

00:36:46.580 you parent your child the way that you do yeah it's something that will help the next generation

00:36:50.940 be better humans overall yeah like be better people to each other in general be better contributing

00:36:57.420 members of society yeah and I get like young people saying to me all the time they're like you know

00:37:02.160 being like young and trans I always just assumed I'm never gonna have a family and you made me realize

00:37:06.960 like I can have a family and I'm like oh my god it's such a huge can you imagine like growing up

00:37:11.120 thinking like I'm probably never gonna have kids I'm never gonna find love like that's why I always

00:37:15.020 try to show like queer love and like queer families because it's like these kids need to grow up thinking

00:37:20.700 that they can have everything they want yeah I'm telling you representation makes me sob and I don't

00:37:26.280 want to talk about it it's just so important like and that's to the same point on the opposite

00:37:32.080 end like for me too yeah this is something I've talked about before but like a lot of times

00:37:36.840 people obviously the shit I say is like men are like fat single bitch whatever but they see that

00:37:43.680 I'm also in a loving relationship with a cis man exactly who looks exactly like what they wish they

00:37:49.060 looked like and then they're like wait a second like it's like their whole worldview shifts but it's

00:37:54.200 crazy because the gender construct thing they still like can't bring it in them to disrespect him

00:38:00.340 because he's a man yes and he's like a tip stereotypically big strong man whatever that

00:38:07.180 definition means yeah and so they're like well I can't be mean to him but I hate your girlfriend

00:38:11.840 I hate her she's the worst bitch it's crazy too like yeah like we see this all the time in society

00:38:16.700 like like let's say like a politician gets caught like cheating on his wife the first thing people will

00:38:22.020 do is like how did the wife not know the guy's the one that did it yeah like I remember when the

00:38:27.780 me too movement was happening and I was hearing all these conservatives be like you know Meryl Streep

00:38:33.260 she she was friends with him and I'm like why are we not talking about Harvey Weinstein the guy that

00:38:39.900 actually did it she's like friends yeah it's like we sat next to each other a couple times at dinner

00:38:43.820 yeah friends and like the first thing people want to do no even if it's the guy doing the thing is

00:38:48.720 like blame the girl somehow yeah they're like that's why you're such an easy tart because they're like

00:38:52.240 you're the you're you're the one saying it yeah and you're a female like oh my god I can't handle

00:38:57.180 it double whammy I literally got a comment the other day like genuinely like two days ago and it was

00:39:05.480 someone saying um her her boyfriend must be a model for hire or something like that oh my god uh like

00:39:13.020 because there's no way and then some woman said uh I can tell he's getting tired of her shit

00:39:18.960 how how you never see him babe and I think to myself when they're like a model for hire I'm like

00:39:24.240 just say you want to kiss my boyfriend yeah I think that's okay you can admit that honestly both

00:39:29.620 the boys and the girls that come up be like I think you all just want to kiss my boyfriend you

00:39:33.460 want to kiss him on the lips that's all right that's okay I would and I said one time I was like

00:39:37.680 listen if he were to ever leave me I don't think he's gonna pick you yeah that's just my guess what

00:39:43.600 do I know what do I know consider me an expert I guess but it's it's again it all it leads back to

00:39:49.360 the same thing like none of them see women as having any sort of thoughts or feelings outside

00:39:55.160 of men yes so they're like women are objects and men are sentient humans that have ambition and goals

00:40:00.580 and drive exactly and women are just things to look at accessories and like I think that's why they

00:40:05.440 like have to bring the boyfriend in because they're like oh she's not doing it enough on her own

00:40:09.180 let me bring him in and make sure she knows that she only exists because he exists like yeah exactly

00:40:15.560 and you're like I have my own show I have believe it yeah my following on here is amazing and it's

00:40:22.180 about me and my laugh well just like you said like Arlo has their own brain yeah their own thoughts

00:40:29.220 their own feelings like they they decide what they want yes because that's what they're entitled to

00:40:34.440 they're they're allowed to do that they're their own person I've raised Arlo so obviously like the

00:40:40.200 opposite of most households that Arlo has almost too many thoughts and opinions like I'm like kid

00:40:46.720 calm down like they are like schooling me every single day and I'm like okay okay well I am a parent

00:40:52.660 but okay you're right you're right you're right but I'm still a parent like people think when they see

00:40:57.520 us they're like they think Arlo's such a mini me and I can't even express how that is so not true

00:41:01.880 like Arlo looks for ways to disagree with me like looks for them like I'll be like oh yeah

00:41:06.960 like this yeah that's Leo yeah I'm like oh yeah this is like a really good drink and I'm like no it

00:41:12.340 isn't and I'm like oh okay you liked it yesterday but there's just you know in that pot yeah yeah

00:41:17.640 constantly so their own person but at the same time I love that because like what we're saying is I'm

00:41:21.680 like I literally they have their own brain they do whatever they want yeah and that's I feel like I

00:41:26.040 mean that's like every parent's dream is that your child grows up to be a good person right and then

00:41:31.600 also like paves their own way in life like is happy yes fulfilled and satisfied with all their

00:41:37.980 choices and they don't have any regret I feel like that's all you could really ask because for every

00:41:41.720 person on this planet at the end of the day you go to sleep with your own brain and you die one day

00:41:46.580 with your own brain so you got to be happy with it right and that's why to me it's so important to

00:41:51.800 love yourself and be proud of who you are yeah and to watch creators like Jesse and Arlo

00:41:56.920 okay so some of the comments on this video like this one says I wish parents actually did this

00:42:04.520 even for cis babies like you said I mean it's you're and you said this isn't like radicalizing

00:42:10.720 you at all it's literally just let them make their own choices yes that's simple it's not that hard

00:42:15.260 yeah it really is and I and it you swear like sometimes people swear you have to make the room

00:42:21.340 blue if it's born with mill I can't handle this you have to make it blue you have to there are

00:42:27.440 other colors yeah choose white or brown and you know what like little boys like the things we put

00:42:33.020 on them at such a young age and obviously little girls but like like pink and princesses and girly

00:42:37.480 and dainty and boys climbing trees and getting dirty and skin knees and likes the guns and all this

00:42:42.560 it's like what are we doing this is so weird if you look at it from the outside that's it's so weird

00:42:49.500 that's so strange and my little nephew like um kind of because my sister you know knowing me like

00:42:55.020 raised him very gender neutral like he still has boy things and they're not like radical in any way

00:43:00.540 but one day he's in an Elsa costume and then the next day he's in a Ninja Turtles costume you know

00:43:04.720 like let them just like things themselves yeah like let them do what they want they'll figure it out

00:43:10.100 trust that they will because you're a good parent yeah exactly that too yeah and then this next uh comment

00:43:16.300 says I can't even imagine a situation where you don't even feel supported or understood by

00:43:21.640 professionals right so like doctors obviously right and again it's because of things like

00:43:28.160 patriarchy misogyny toxic masculinity capitalism even it's all intertwined in it you know yeah like

00:43:34.240 as a trans person like having to because I haven't legally changed my name or gender yet like so like

00:43:39.640 when I go to like the doctor I have to use those things and then instantly like be like okay no I go by

00:43:44.520 he him I go by Jesse and I have experienced so many like awkward horrible things like in a doctor's

00:43:50.640 office or like a pharmacy I like had a pharmacist be like like yell in front of everyone like why do

00:43:55.860 you need testosterone you're a girl and I was like are you kidding this is 2021 and they're working in

00:44:01.840 the in a professional medical field yeah it's crazy no semblance of of understanding empathy

00:44:07.820 right education and it's not like they don't come on like you know trans people exist like yeah you're

00:44:13.680 gonna make me like play this game yeah like I have to I have to be the one to break the news to you

00:44:18.500 exactly and like I'm lucky like I have the LGBT center here but yeah so they're like so about like

00:44:23.560 getting your pronouns straight and all that but I feel you know so many people in this country don't

00:44:27.620 have that yeah and so they don't care to try and learn yeah yeah and I and I talked about this too

00:44:32.380 with my friend Sirius but we were talking about pronouns and I was I was literally saying like

00:44:38.000 do you know how like violently bigoted you have to be for that to like hinder your everyday life

00:44:44.620 like alter like that someone tells you like this is what I go by and you're like nope yeah I just

00:44:51.380 that's deranged behavior like so crazy to me something's off yeah like I don't get it I don't

00:44:56.600 get so many people when I started going by he him were flat out like no I will not say that and I was

00:45:00.800 just like it why what does it cost you it's so easy you know you're like oh okay like yeah and I

00:45:08.840 even I get it for people who like knew me by like she her for you know so many years and it was an

00:45:12.440 adjustment like I get that yeah yeah but like flat out just being like nah you know I'm not gonna try

00:45:17.800 no I don't think I will yeah I'm just gonna say and they want you to be okay with it yeah and like

00:45:22.320 especially like as far in my transition as I am now and I'm around those people I'm like where

00:45:25.620 where's the she I don't get this from the start to just to right now yeah it's a choice that you're

00:45:32.760 making yes you're intentionally being ignorant exactly and transphobic and for what for who

00:45:37.360 who are you performing for no one's here yeah it's just you and I and and then I also like when

00:45:41.100 Arnold came started told me so casually you know I want to go by they them we're literally on our way

00:45:45.040 to the grove on our way to the movie and they were like you know I want to go by they them I

00:45:48.800 instantly when we got to the cheesecake factory when they asked I was like oh yeah they want that you

00:45:53.360 know yeah it's the best one it's so good Arlo loves it and I was like oh yeah they want this

00:45:58.660 chair and Arlo looked at me because it was like instantaneous I didn't even have to mess up and

00:46:01.980 then that hit my brain because I was like I was like why did it take so many people in my life to

00:46:07.840 so long and still they're not doing it you know two and a half years later I'm like because for a

00:46:12.640 second I was like maybe it is just like that adjustment and I was like no because I said she her for

00:46:17.320 Arlo for 13 years yeah and then overnight it was they them hmm and interesting nothing

00:46:22.720 cost me nothing and it's and it's so impactful for them so oh my god I their little look up at

00:46:29.220 me when I did that like I was like that was it alone for me you know that makes me want to cry

00:46:33.500 oh my god I love that so much it's it's again another thing like that's an intentional that's

00:46:38.620 a choice you're making to be a terrible person you're choosing to act that way yeah something's

00:46:43.220 wrong with you man like I think that all the time I'm like you need help yeah you need professional

00:46:48.200 for a pronoun it's like we're stripping it down to the most bare minimum and you're struggling

00:46:53.800 yeah and also it's it it also lends itself towards like when when they go off the rails

00:46:59.980 and they're like they're trying to force me to like no one you asked me yeah I told you yeah

00:47:05.580 and then you also think too not everyone obviously like if someone's known you your whole life and

00:47:09.760 if they slip up they're gonna be like I'm so sorry yeah yeah I mean to do that totally and

00:47:12.980 no one's gonna jump up your ass for that that's never happened if you I literally I think about

00:47:18.040 all the time I'm like you're fantasizing and like making up these fake scenarios what if

00:47:22.860 have never existed yeah what if what if this what if what if the sky fell tomorrow like we could sit

00:47:28.460 here all day and do that none of those things have ever happened like even like the like gendered

00:47:32.820 bathroom issue and I'm like would you want me in the girls bathroom like if I walked into the

00:47:36.640 girls bathroom they would be like they'd be like excuse me can you leave like yeah you know I always

00:47:41.740 think that like how why are you sitting there at night worried about like me going in the boys

00:47:46.660 bathroom yeah why are you thinking and then they always are like it's dangerous I'm like it literally

00:47:50.660 has never happened where like a trans person has like hurt someone ever in a bathroom ever in the

00:47:54.760 history of time yeah and on top of that even okay let's say let's say that that was gonna happen

00:47:59.560 yeah let's just humor you for a second yeah are you gonna do anything yeah because you don't do

00:48:04.400 anything with cis people get assaulted all the time you sit and you watch so or sometimes you

00:48:09.400 participate yes what's who's to say you're gonna jump in and be a savior then yeah all of a sudden

00:48:14.800 you're gonna turn into like the defender of women exactly when the like me too movement was

00:48:19.640 happening they were like poor men they have to be so careful in the workplace now they're so afraid

00:48:24.600 how can they live and then like a trans person goes in the bathroom and they're like oh I'm so

00:48:29.320 worried for women my day job and I'm sitting outside this bathroom all day exactly no one's coming

00:48:33.480 in here quitting sitting on my couch I'm just gonna tweet about that's all I'm doing all day long I'm

00:48:38.680 never I'm never going back to work this is all I'm doing which is really shows where the issues lie

00:48:42.160 right exactly well it's very telling like I'm you don't actually care I say I say that all the time

00:48:47.680 especially about um when men try to like with me specifically they'll try to be like oh you don't

00:48:53.760 care about male victims or you don't care about this and you don't care about that I'm like let's stop

00:48:58.560 sitting here pretending like you give a shit about victims because you don't because if you did you

00:49:03.480 would care about all victims not just when you can use it to further your misogynistic agenda

00:49:09.020 like you can hold that and use it to repress women further yeah that means you don't actually care

00:49:13.760 exactly it's like you just hate women you just and that's okay yeah I mean it's not but like admit

00:49:18.260 it yeah at least own it I said all the time I'm like when it comes to bigots like just outright

00:49:24.200 yep I there's a little bit more respect in there from me because I'm like at least you know

00:49:29.340 yeah when you pretend and it's hidden under this guise of like protecting people yeah I'm a good

00:49:34.560 guy yeah worry I'm one of the good ones I'm worried about you since when yeah and I said and as they

00:49:40.200 worry about women in that sense but as I said they don't worry about me getting death threats from

00:49:43.700 random ass dudes they're like well that's different and I also hate the whole like I understand like

00:49:48.440 male victims and I think this is an issue but it's when you're comparing it to like the

00:49:53.960 female thing I'm like this has been going on for so long it's like disproportionate it's so

00:49:59.200 disproportionate that like what are we talking about right now like yeah of course that's a problem

00:50:05.620 but really at the end of the day the common denominator is that it's men who are doing both

00:50:10.400 yeah the victimizing yep so so what are we talking about you're they're trying to defend men in doing

00:50:15.240 this when really if the people who are doing the assaulting in both cases are men they miss the

00:50:20.500 whole point right over their head you're the root of all evil yeah so I literally I said that before

00:50:25.640 like especially when it comes to like abuse right you know like some shit ass dudes will be like equal

00:50:31.720 rights equal fights or whatever like well if women want to do this then we should be allowed to hit

00:50:36.380 you first of all why is that the only thing you're thinking about assault like why is that on your mind

00:50:41.040 why is that the first okay then come over here and I'm gonna punch you in the face I get one good

00:50:46.180 punch as hard as I can and that's in the name you want rights yeah you want rights come over here

00:50:50.560 and get them it's like violence is all they can like go back to that's unhinged yeah check it out

00:50:55.920 right go to a doctor but on top of that I think too like when it comes to to like fighting or or like

00:51:02.560 any sort of I yeah there are male victims who get hit yes no one has ever said those don't exist

00:51:10.180 only women do like no one's ever said that yeah so you when you only bring it up to counter yeah

00:51:16.580 when women talk about being assaulted yeah then you don't actually care about who gets assaulted

00:51:20.920 that's why I was saying it's not the in the absence of men getting assaulted it means

00:51:24.980 there's a disproportionate amount of women who get assaulted far more yes than men get falsely

00:51:31.320 accused right or or also abused so that's why I'm like it's it's and if it's the issue of like

00:51:36.960 victims at hand then why aren't you focusing on who's doing the assaulting men why aren't you

00:51:42.280 focusing on on that let's let's go to the start yeah okay well let's start from ground yeah from

00:51:47.220 ground zero if we start there maybe we can actually fix some some shit in society versus victim blaming

00:51:52.820 and trying to you know like just combat every argument with like well what about well what about

00:51:58.780 this what about me yeah what about me I'm like no one cares about you yeah that's why I always think

00:52:04.580 I'm like well has that ever happened to you no then what are we talking about yeah why are you

00:52:09.300 only bringing that up when I'm talking about women yeah and it's it's like it's kind of the same thing

00:52:13.760 too when um men are being really fat phobic towards women and they're like well what about me when I get

00:52:19.840 made up for being short what about it yeah and I think like you're you're not oppressed because you're

00:52:25.600 five three bro that's no you don't get oppressed you don't lose out on opportunity you get a good

00:52:31.040 razz every now and then is that the same thing as almost being killed because doctors won't take

00:52:36.160 your medical diagnosis seriously exactly no so like what if anything like even like you're talking

00:52:42.000 about like you know a workforce and stuff like you see a lot of really short ceos so clearly they're

00:52:47.000 thriving I think they're doing well yeah they're doing well I mean look at those two brothers on

00:52:50.620 what's it called selling sunset look at those I saw those dudes in real life they're like five one yeah

00:52:55.800 easily like killing it in life and they're doing just fine yeah they're making money they're dating

00:53:01.300 exactly dating women far taller than them right so I was equating being short to like being trans

00:53:07.720 yeah oh oh we both he's like I get it because we both have it hard yeah it's like it's in any way

00:53:13.800 shape or form the same yeah they're like well what about me when I'm short yeah exactly what about it

00:53:19.100 what about it yeah they can't even comprehend like what like someone like me goes through to get

00:53:24.820 where I am not even but girls they say I'm too short on my dating app I'm like oh oh same thing

00:53:32.000 someone called the government yeah honestly we need to get same thing as like me walking like in a

00:53:36.760 group of like men who can tell I'm trans and like actually fearing for my life like yeah yeah yeah

00:53:41.340 those two are the same yeah they're the same those are the same when women are like oh I would like to

00:53:46.500 date someone taller and then fearing for your actual life yeah those are the same for sure for sure for

00:53:50.080 sure sure they are that's a no they aren't go to therapy once again so that's like I guess like

00:53:56.740 honestly just the best conversation with you because I learn so much from you all the time but

00:54:02.560 even more so now but I what is it something that you want everyone to know whether it's

00:54:08.560 being about you know acknowledging trans people uplifting them being a parent like being a parent

00:54:14.440 to a non-binary child like what's something that you just really want people to know I think I just

00:54:18.100 want people to kind of like leave this with you know I I think we highlight the differences a lot

00:54:24.260 in order to show similarity so like yeah you know people always come at me as you know like

00:54:29.420 commenting negative things about who I am like oh I've changed like my body I've changed these things

00:54:33.620 like I'm not a real man but what I really want people to know about trans people especially because

00:54:38.420 I know like young people are listening and watching is that we're actually more similar to you than

00:54:42.720 different you could ever imagine and we're all just humans existing yeah going through phases yeah

00:54:48.880 changing things about us we all change things about us we all the clothing we wear everything we do is

00:54:54.860 all just to make us feel better when we look in the mirror to make us feel better when we go to sleep

00:54:59.640 at night and when you amplify those similarities I think it can actually like bring people together more

00:55:04.740 than it can you know separate us yeah and it's also it's it's something that like I feel like really

00:55:12.040 opens your eyes like when you when you learn more from people like you when you follow creators like you

00:55:17.460 like Arlo you learn that there's much more to life than focusing so hard on like what other people are

00:55:26.240 doing and who they're loving and how they choose to express themselves yeah gender expression and gender

00:55:31.660 identity as a whole there's so much more life to live and love to receive yeah and it's just not

00:55:38.300 worth the time and energy to get mad at someone on the internet because they're doing something

00:55:43.060 you're not really that familiar with exactly and I my motto for life like this is something like I

00:55:47.160 learned when I got older and I do this in my relationship I do this and everything is choose

00:55:51.140 love and I promise if you're like listening right now and you're someone who like comments negative

00:55:54.940 things in that moment remind yourself choose love and I promise your whole life will change

00:55:59.420 for the better for the better for in your love life in your you know family life in your friendships

00:56:05.780 in your online life whatever it is choose love absolutely that's simple that's so true and I and

00:56:12.060 just like one more story I had a dude once make a video about me and he told me that if I if he had

00:56:18.600 seen me or found me like two three years ago he said he would have hated me but he said he realized

00:56:24.980 like he was so unhappy like he was unhappy with who he was where he was at in life his love life

00:56:30.840 everything and he said he read a book and he heard about like the dog and the nail story have you heard

00:56:36.160 this story no it's basically a story about like a dog that sits in the same spot every day and there's

00:56:41.720 a nail and it every time he sits down it hurts him it pokes him so he yelps out but then he just

00:56:46.520 continues to sit there right so someone asked why does the dog keep sitting there if it hurts and then

00:56:51.020 he said because it doesn't hurt enough just yet so like it hurt it got to a point where it hurts so

00:56:55.760 much that he's like I have to do something because I'm unhappy right and so he started reading more

00:56:59.980 and speaking to more women he started talking to more lgbtq plus people he started learning and

00:57:06.600 reading and educating himself and then he realized why he was so unhappy because he hated himself at

00:57:11.900 the very end of the day he hated himself more than anyone else anyone on the internet or anything so he

00:57:16.860 basically stitched my video and made a video about me because he was saying like people like her

00:57:20.700 are important because it's gonna it's you're never gonna listen until it hurts too much absolutely

00:57:25.280 and then you're gonna have to change you're gonna have to look yourself or you're gonna fold and leave

00:57:28.440 and bitch out like like most of them do but some of them might learn and decide for themselves like

00:57:33.880 I don't want to be like this yeah and like what we've said this whole time like if you're truly happy

00:57:37.280 on the inside like you're not gonna be a hater no it's like you know I hate to like quote legally blonde

00:57:42.140 but like happy people do not kill their husbands you know what I mean like it's yeah they just don't

00:57:47.580 so it's like I feel like when you have that inner peace it's gonna obviously make everything else

00:57:52.820 in your life so much better absolutely you attract what you put out into the world yeah I believe that

00:57:58.980 100 we both know that yes we both because once again we're doing pretty well we're doing pretty good

00:58:04.460 I'm so happy I got to talk to you today I adore you you're so smart and amazing where can everybody

00:58:12.800 find you so everyone can find me on all social media platforms at at jessiesoli j-e-s-s-e-s-u-l-l-i

00:58:20.300 beautiful and make sure you follow jessie and learn and open your eyes and your heart and I promise

00:58:28.220 it it'll be worth it I love you so much I love you so thank you so much for coming I'm so please tell

00:58:33.560 Arlo I'm so so inspired by that I will I'm trying to be like Arlo every day honestly that's what most

00:58:40.900 people should do everyone should have a little Arlo poster I have an altar it's just Arlo and then

00:58:47.800 right below Arlo is you and Francesco oh hell yeah our new baby thank you so much for coming thank you

00:58:56.840 so much I adore you and thank you all for watching this is officially the end of season one of the

00:59:02.320 comment section show I want to thank you all for joining me this season don't worry we'll be back

00:59:06.220 for a season two if you want to check out new episodes of the comment section show and by new

00:59:11.140 I mean old because this is the end of season one anyways you can watch them on the past your bedtime

00:59:15.360 youtube channel they drop every Wednesday 12 p.m pacific standard time for the new season not this

00:59:20.780 one and you can also stream all the episodes on all our streaming platforms like spotify apple podcast

00:59:26.700 amazon music you name it whatever go find me thank you all for watching and thank you for

00:59:30.940 watching this season I adore you all I'll see you very soon bye

00:59:34.020 you

The Comment Section with Drew Afualo - June 29, 2022

WHY DO TRANS PEOPLE TRIGGER YOU？｜ Drew Afualo ft. Jesse Sullivan ｜ THE COMMENT SECTION EP 20

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