The Golden One - December 25, 2018


Assassin's Creed Odyssey - Part 4. Odysseus Palace. Comfy Christmas Gaming


Episode Stats

Length

25 minutes

Words per Minute

101.30702

Word Count

2,594

Sentence Count

411

Misogynist Sentences

15

Hate Speech Sentences

15


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Greetings, Laddingtons! Welcome back to good old Hellas.
00:00:05.560 And look at that eagle. Absolutely testosteroneous.
00:00:10.620 We're actually going to call him now and have him find the epic things here.
00:00:21.000 So there's the abandoned house where the Cyclops heretics are hanging out.
00:00:28.580 So let's go there.
00:00:34.980 Right, now, so.
00:00:37.580 Good Jule and Merry Christmas.
00:00:39.320 I've probably said this in a good few videos now, but it never hurts to say it again for the sake of being a good person.
00:00:51.700 Now, we need to illuminate this bastard.
00:01:03.480 Can't I kill him with one shot? That's a bit silly, actually.
00:01:09.740 I'm going to take on this guy too.
00:01:12.380 Boom.
00:01:12.700 I would think that they would die from a headshot, but it might be silly of me to think this.
00:01:21.540 Hello, mate.
00:01:23.160 Oh, look at that.
00:01:28.240 A goat of wisdom has come to our aid.
00:01:32.040 And I suppose you all have seen my Julebok of wisdom I posted on Instagram.
00:01:40.720 So follow me there for...
00:01:43.400 Oh, you can see how he looks.
00:01:47.160 Absolute mad cunt I've had him since I was but a merry boy.
00:01:51.420 Oh, oh.
00:01:55.760 These opponents were quite hard to kill, to be honest.
00:02:03.860 I utilize my bull rush there.
00:02:05.680 Oh, my God.
00:02:07.680 Oh, my God.
00:02:08.740 Oh, my God.
00:02:09.740 Oh, my God.
00:02:10.740 Oh, my God.
00:02:11.740 Die, unbeliever.
00:02:16.340 Okay, one down.
00:02:17.920 A few to go.
00:02:22.460 Come at me, bruh.
00:02:30.320 He has some sort of war pain there.
00:02:34.020 But that does not help against our Spartan prowess.
00:02:37.520 Come at me.
00:02:40.060 Boom.
00:02:40.800 There we go.
00:02:42.400 Sickening.
00:02:46.700 Aha.
00:02:47.240 I failed that charge quite heavily.
00:02:53.640 Oh, look at that.
00:02:54.480 The Spartan kick.
00:02:55.500 Good old Muay Thai front kick.
00:02:58.180 Always a good technique.
00:03:00.360 See?
00:03:05.500 He looks Greek.
00:03:06.220 He looks good enough.
00:03:08.300 He looks...
00:03:09.220 He looks dead enough, I suppose.
00:03:13.820 Who might this fine gentleman be, then?
00:03:15.740 I normally have someone else to the field work.
00:03:21.420 I don't suppose you know how to get this stain out.
00:03:26.240 I do not.
00:03:27.260 I am...
00:03:27.680 I'm sorry, mate.
00:03:32.680 Stay back or else.
00:03:34.140 There will be more blood if you step closer.
00:03:37.140 Perhaps.
00:03:38.460 Then you won't hear my proposition, Mistyus.
00:03:45.320 What's...
00:03:45.960 What's...
00:03:46.420 What's up, bruh?
00:03:47.300 Slaughter.
00:03:48.420 Very good work.
00:03:50.040 Not much sympathy for the men who work with you.
00:03:52.920 Not with me.
00:03:54.240 For me.
00:03:55.860 Employees.
00:03:56.960 Now ex-employees, I suppose.
00:03:59.120 That's...
00:03:59.740 That's true.
00:04:00.180 So, you don't work for the Cyclops?
00:04:03.780 Your kind are unusually believers of myth.
00:04:06.900 Not the monster.
00:04:08.580 The man.
00:04:10.840 You are an outsider.
00:04:13.360 Why are you here?
00:04:14.600 Indeed, I'm not from Kefalonia.
00:04:17.140 I'm here because what I'm looking for.
00:04:19.440 And he...
00:04:20.040 That guy, he...
00:04:21.520 Looks Greek, too.
00:04:23.340 I think the comment section is far too unfair to this game.
00:04:27.340 If you follow me, Alexios.
00:04:30.180 I, of course, am completely with you when it comes to historical revisionism.
00:04:38.280 That it is something bad.
00:04:40.520 But I don't agree with the criticism many of you have leveled at this game.
00:04:45.840 I think the majority of characters have looked good enough.
00:04:50.380 How do you know my name?
00:04:51.640 I'm Elpinor of Kira.
00:04:54.220 How do I know your name?
00:04:56.660 I did what you did.
00:04:58.000 I asked and people told me.
00:05:01.080 Tell me who sent you.
00:05:02.800 An inquisitive nature.
00:05:04.660 Good.
00:05:05.400 That will help.
00:05:06.780 You know more than you let on.
00:05:09.020 Knowing you is in my best interest.
00:05:11.920 And knowing me is in yours.
00:05:15.700 My prized possession was stolen and brought to Ithaca.
00:05:19.020 Penelope's Woven Shroud.
00:05:22.240 I need you to steal it back.
00:05:28.060 What Penelope's Shroud?
00:05:30.360 The Shroud of Penelope?
00:05:32.240 The wife of Odysseus.
00:05:34.220 You're joking.
00:05:35.320 A piece of it, yes.
00:05:37.100 Impossible.
00:05:37.660 If it existed, it would be priceless.
00:05:42.240 Indeed, it's a rare relic of Mother Europe, which will be used to restore Europe to its former grandeur.
00:05:51.060 Where do I start looking?
00:05:52.020 It's because it's not a small island.
00:05:53.820 I need more information.
00:05:55.620 I'd start at the home of Odysseus.
00:05:57.760 Well, what's left of it?
00:05:59.380 An inspiring tale.
00:06:01.000 A reunion of past lovers.
00:06:02.580 All right, mate.
00:06:06.020 I'll get the Shroud back.
00:06:08.500 Don't expect it to be easy.
00:06:10.720 That's why it will cost you.
00:06:12.980 Then it's agreed.
00:06:14.520 There's a rowboat in the harbor.
00:06:16.460 Use it.
00:06:17.640 It's not meant for open water, so be wise.
00:06:21.120 When you have the Shroud, meet me in the Temple of Zeus.
00:06:24.400 Fucking Zeus, bruh.
00:06:26.360 Oh, and Mystheus.
00:06:28.920 Don't fail.
00:06:32.580 All right, let's recover this thing of glory.
00:06:52.100 Look at that.
00:06:53.180 We have leveled how very nice.
00:06:58.220 So let's see what kind of fun things we can do.
00:07:02.580 Charged Heavy Attack.
00:07:06.760 Right, let's go with that.
00:07:09.740 That sounds like the only reasonable course of action at this moment in time.
00:07:21.800 Oh, look at that.
00:07:22.720 Looks absolutely wonderful to swim in this fine water.
00:07:28.180 But I'm quite happy with the weather we have in Sweden now, with snow.
00:07:36.920 It was nice to get a white Christmas.
00:07:41.340 Quite nice indeed.
00:07:43.460 Now let's see.
00:07:44.140 The legendary Shroud.
00:07:48.480 Alpinor wasn't lying.
00:07:49.920 We have found the Shroud.
00:07:52.800 Well, we have found the location at least.
00:07:54.220 So, anyway, speaking of Odysseus, it's too much to hope for a film to be made of that legend.
00:08:09.440 Because, you know, if Hollywood makes it, you know exactly that it would be full of all sorts of degeneracy.
00:08:16.640 So that's a bit a shame that we can't really have that.
00:08:20.020 All the years I've lived on Cephalonia, I never realized the mighty Odysseus' palace was here.
00:08:26.260 Indeed.
00:08:27.040 Yeah, but fortunately there's so many good books you can partake in which are not filled with all manner of degeneracy.
00:08:33.860 So, if you lament the fact that all new films are a bit heretical, then there's a whole world of books that you can partake in.
00:08:44.960 Now, let us try to illuminate these heretics to the primordial truth.
00:08:52.860 So, anyway, speaking of this, comment below what you're currently reading.
00:09:00.820 Hello, bruv.
00:09:02.500 Boom.
00:09:03.860 I had to do it to you.
00:09:09.240 Christobulus.
00:09:10.280 I don't even know if this is our enemies or not.
00:09:16.400 Perhaps they were our friends.
00:09:19.240 And now I have...
00:09:21.040 Come on, Spartakick.
00:09:25.820 Boom.
00:09:28.660 I need to...
00:09:30.140 Ah, fuck.
00:09:31.180 I got desynchronized.
00:09:32.820 That was extremely silly of me.
00:09:35.240 Right, let's retry this.
00:09:37.560 All the years I've lived on Cephalonia, I never realized the mighty Odysseus' palace was here.
00:09:43.040 We'll enter power gaming mode.
00:09:45.660 Aha, that's a special mercenary, so we'll have to not engage with him yet because we're too noob for that.
00:09:57.000 At this stage we need more training.
00:09:58.660 Ah, look at this.
00:10:03.520 It's absolutely wonderful.
00:10:04.740 So, anyway, for those of you who do not appreciate this game, this is my argument against you.
00:10:12.900 That you can actually get this sense via a game.
00:10:17.580 The sense of ancient history.
00:10:22.280 So, no matter if there are some characters that look a bit dodgy, it still doesn't negate the goodness of getting to experience this.
00:10:31.040 Getting to reinforce the sense of history.
00:10:38.040 Hmm.
00:10:39.040 Perhaps we should release this unfortunate bastard.
00:10:45.040 Oh, no, do I need to kill another Doggo?
00:10:53.040 Okay.
00:10:54.040 I suppose I will have to...
00:10:57.040 Have to do it.
00:10:59.460 I'm sorry, Doggo.
00:11:00.460 But, uh, this time the Doggo deserved it because he actually...
00:11:05.460 Actually attacked me.
00:11:07.460 This did not go according to plan either.
00:11:09.460 And now he's shooting at me.
00:11:11.460 How, uh...
00:11:12.460 Barbaric.
00:11:13.460 Come at me, bruh.
00:11:23.460 What?
00:11:24.460 A woman?
00:11:25.460 Go on, kick then.
00:11:30.460 This is not good at all, though.
00:11:34.460 I must, uh, I must say this.
00:11:36.460 That they have women, uh, as warriors here.
00:11:40.460 This is not, uh, something I can endorse.
00:11:43.460 In the least.
00:11:46.460 Gonna see if I can, uh, can save.
00:11:49.460 So we don't...
00:11:50.460 No, we can't save right now.
00:11:52.460 You won't last much longer!
00:11:59.460 Feels a bit like Skyrim when you have, uh, these women...
00:12:05.460 Being all, uh, aggressive like that.
00:12:09.460 That's a...
00:12:10.460 Video topic I will, uh, make.
00:12:13.460 Which will be called something like...
00:12:16.460 Badass female warriors versus real femme fatales.
00:12:20.460 Because a real femme fatale obviously doesn't try to be a...
00:12:24.460 Bloat max paladin who goes around relying on strength.
00:12:27.460 A real femme fatale is obviously someone who uses her...
00:12:31.460 Her female charms to, uh...
00:12:34.460 To get the job done.
00:12:39.460 Aha, there is the, uh...
00:12:41.460 The mercenary, so we don't want to box with him.
00:12:47.460 Because he's one...
00:12:48.460 True mad gun.
00:12:49.460 We're gonna assassinate this buster, though.
00:12:52.460 Come just a bit closer, will you?
00:12:56.460 Go on, mate.
00:12:57.460 Go on, mate.
00:12:58.460 Let's go, champ.
00:12:59.460 Go, champ.
00:13:08.460 Aha, that was actually the woman.
00:13:10.460 That, uh, doesn't feel right, but, um...
00:13:14.460 It had to be done.
00:13:15.460 It had to be done to progress in the story.
00:13:17.460 Aha, they've been attacked by a wolf up ahead.
00:13:29.460 The wolf has been sent by...
00:13:33.460 By Zeus to help us in this holy quest.
00:13:36.460 Now, let's, uh, let's talk to you.
00:13:47.460 But is this another woman?
00:13:49.460 What's, uh, what's going on?
00:13:51.460 What is going on?
00:13:53.460 Okay, so if we're gonna...
00:13:56.460 Aim some criticism against this game, we can do so.
00:14:03.460 But that will, uh...
00:14:04.460 That will have to be done...
00:14:10.460 By, uh, correctly identifying the fact that...
00:14:12.460 There are too many female warriors.
00:14:16.460 Cause that is not...
00:14:18.460 Oh, damn.
00:14:19.460 That is not historically accurate.
00:14:21.460 But, uh, enough about that.
00:14:22.460 I will, uh, at least...
00:14:24.460 Have that said, and then try to enjoy the game anyway.
00:14:27.460 And try to enjoy the...
00:14:30.460 The good things about the game.
00:14:32.460 Um...
00:14:35.460 Right.
00:14:36.460 Let's, uh...
00:14:38.460 Let's try to, um...
00:14:41.460 Actually get this done.
00:14:44.460 Come at me, bruh.
00:14:50.460 Uh, I don't want to box with Talos Stonefist, so it was probably a bit stupid of me to even shoot at him.
00:14:56.460 Maybe our, uh, friend here can help.
00:14:59.460 Why are you running away, though?
00:15:00.460 You're supposed to help me.
00:15:04.460 Aha.
00:15:05.460 Right.
00:15:06.460 Okay.
00:15:07.460 Talk to me.
00:15:08.460 What's up?
00:15:09.460 I believe I'll let those malakish sneak up on me.
00:15:11.460 Ithaca is a dangerous place to wander around on your own.
00:15:14.460 You are wandering around on your own.
00:15:16.460 But I am a juicy privileged cis white male, so I can do this.
00:15:22.460 You're right.
00:15:23.460 I can't fight a camp of bandits by myself.
00:15:26.460 Could you help me to get to Odysseus's palace?
00:15:28.460 I can pay.
00:15:30.460 Let's, uh, let's do it.
00:15:32.460 I'll help you get to the palace.
00:15:33.460 Ermana.
00:15:34.460 Well, I'm in luck then.
00:15:35.460 What do I call you?
00:15:37.460 Alexios?
00:15:38.460 I'm Odessa.
00:15:39.460 Named after the great Odysseus.
00:15:45.460 Let's go, champ.
00:15:47.460 We should head to the palace while we have the chance.
00:15:49.460 Now I will just see if I can actually save here.
00:16:02.460 Boom.
00:16:19.460 Now I hope she won't run into, uh, the, uh, the mercenary there.
00:16:29.460 Cause then we'll get wrecked.
00:16:31.460 It's Talos Stonefist.
00:16:35.460 This, is it?
00:16:37.460 It's just rubble.
00:16:38.460 What were you expecting?
00:16:39.460 I don't know.
00:16:41.460 Something more grand.
00:16:43.460 My parents named me Odessa.
00:16:45.460 I'm Odysseus's namesake.
00:16:47.460 I thought if I came here I might understand him more.
00:16:52.460 Well, do you?
00:16:53.460 Not at all.
00:16:55.460 Take me to my boat.
00:16:56.460 I'll pay you then.
00:16:58.460 No, you're supposed to help me kill this, uh, this bastard.
00:17:04.460 Huh.
00:17:05.460 Oh well.
00:17:06.460 I suppose we'll have to be a white knight and, uh, escort this fair maiden to her boat.
00:17:17.460 There we are.
00:17:18.460 Talk.
00:17:19.460 Well.
00:17:20.460 This is for you.
00:17:21.460 Such a disappointment.
00:17:22.460 Why is that place so important to you?
00:17:23.460 Are you joking?
00:17:24.460 Odysseus lived there.
00:17:25.460 Ruled there.
00:17:26.460 He ended the Trojan war.
00:17:27.460 Eluded Scilla and Cariebdis.
00:17:29.460 He had everything.
00:17:30.460 Loyalty.
00:17:31.460 Love.
00:17:32.460 Fighting spirit.
00:17:33.460 He had the attention of the Gods too.
00:17:34.460 That caused him a lot of trouble.
00:17:35.460 He didn't hold away.
00:17:36.460 It's not.
00:17:37.460 It's not.
00:17:38.460 It's not.
00:17:39.460 Sock.
00:17:40.460 I mean, you're not.
00:17:41.460 It's not.
00:17:42.460 It's not.
00:17:43.460 I mean, you're not.
00:17:44.460 I'm not.
00:17:45.460 I'm not.
00:17:46.460 I'm not.
00:17:47.460 I'm not.
00:17:48.460 I'm not.
00:17:49.460 I'm not.
00:17:50.460 I'm not.
00:17:51.460 I'm not.
00:17:52.460 I'm not.
00:17:53.460 I don't know what to choose even. It's cute that you're determined, I suppose.
00:18:12.360 Oh, because you're an empowered woman, is that it?
00:18:18.000 Okay, you're ugly.
00:18:23.460 Not what I meant at all. I can't tell if you're serious or not.
00:18:28.300 I was negging her there.
00:18:29.980 I think I was in a much poorer mood before now. There's just so much I desire. To be as great as Odysseus. Where do I even begin?
00:18:41.320 I don't give advice.
00:18:42.640 It seems like you're looking for advice. I have none to give.
00:18:46.840 No surprise there. Well, thanks for the help.
00:18:50.060 Well, I would actually give some advice to her, but it wasn't available in the...
00:18:55.900 There. The advice I would give, though, is simply the following.
00:19:04.780 That she should find herself a nice husband.
00:19:09.060 Settle down.
00:19:11.020 Raise a good family.
00:19:12.220 And focus on that.
00:19:14.820 That is my sincere advice.
00:19:17.540 I think that would make her happy.
00:19:21.820 And what would make me happy is if we can actually kill this geyser.
00:19:27.520 Come at me, bruh.
00:19:42.800 Now, let us see if we can...
00:19:57.640 If we can take on this guy.
00:20:02.580 Die, unbeliever.
00:20:23.620 Now then, die.
00:20:26.860 He has insulted Zeus.
00:20:28.360 This is why I have to do it to him.
00:20:39.980 Finally, he dies.
00:20:41.600 Oh, that was not...
00:20:44.360 According to plan at all.
00:20:46.460 We have to make a run for it.
00:20:49.000 Talos' stone fist is coming at us.
00:20:53.040 Go on then.
00:20:54.060 I can't climb now for some reason.
00:20:58.360 Now then, we're gonna hide here for but a moment before we go back.
00:21:05.260 Perhaps wasn't the best place to hide.
00:21:25.720 Maybe we can hide in this shrubbery.
00:21:38.480 Right, he's still looking for us.
00:21:40.120 But we're gonna sneak back here and loot this guy.
00:21:45.360 We received a war spear too.
00:21:55.440 That's nice.
00:21:56.260 Now I'm just gonna run for it.
00:22:03.360 And see what kind of reward we might get.
00:22:08.280 See if we have the boat there.
00:22:09.100 Yes, we do.
00:22:09.700 A boat looking aesthetic.
00:22:18.400 Take command.
00:22:23.380 Hmm, I still need to climb that great statue of Zeusbra too.
00:22:32.320 And then I need to lift and then kill Talos.
00:22:36.040 I must do this to gain the favor of Ares.
00:22:40.720 Right, we are...
00:22:42.200 Here, hello mate.
00:22:45.120 Now I want my reward.
00:22:53.320 Indeed.
00:22:54.400 Safe and sound.
00:22:55.540 Aha, he is trying to hire us.
00:23:25.320 Into becoming his mercenary.
00:23:26.800 You did well, Mistyos.
00:23:29.000 Tell me, how do you feel about killing a general in Megaris?
00:23:34.280 Do this for me and earn double what you earned today.
00:23:39.000 Are you up to the task?
00:23:41.720 It would take you far away from Gefallonia.
00:23:45.000 So far away you might never return.
00:23:47.320 I am a mythios, not an assassin.
00:23:56.280 I'm not an assassin.
00:23:57.840 There's a first time for everything.
00:23:59.980 What do you say?
00:24:00.940 Who is the general I have to kill?
00:24:06.600 Who is this general?
00:24:08.400 They call him the wolf.
00:24:10.400 He do something to offend you?
00:24:12.580 Yes, he's costing me the rachmi.
00:24:15.240 He's not good for business.
00:24:16.600 What can you tell me about Megaris?
00:24:21.880 Anything I should know about Megaris?
00:24:24.320 Only that it's the most valuable land in the Greek world.
00:24:27.680 From a military perspective, of course.
00:24:30.560 Unfortunately for Megarians, it has two very powerful neighbors who just can't seem to play nice.
00:24:36.700 In the tug of war between Corinth and Athens, Megaris is their own.
00:24:40.620 All right, bruv.
00:24:42.520 I'll take the contract for the lols.
00:24:44.800 I accept.
00:24:45.840 Splendid.
00:24:47.460 You'll need a boat.
00:24:49.040 You have one, don't you?
00:24:53.360 I don't have a boat.
00:24:55.520 If I had a boat, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
00:24:59.120 A shame.
00:25:00.060 It's too far of a swim, I'm afraid.
00:25:02.260 Even for you.
00:25:03.380 I'll find one.
00:25:05.020 Good.
00:25:05.940 I hope it's sturdy.
00:25:07.860 And why is that?
00:25:09.000 The seas are much more dangerous, I'm afraid.
00:25:12.420 War is coming.
00:25:13.680 And the wolf is on the wrong side.
00:25:19.120 You won't be disappointed.
00:25:20.980 When your job in Megaris is done, come find me at Pilgrim's Landing in Fokis.
00:25:25.820 All right, mates.
00:25:27.380 Cool.
00:25:28.400 That will have to be this episode.
00:25:31.940 Thank you for watching and I will see you in the next one.