The Golden One - November 13, 2014


Gains Kitchen. Health Smoothie for Alphas


Episode Stats

Length

5 minutes

Words per Minute

124.01101

Word Count

721

Sentence Count

54

Misogynist Sentences

7

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Greetings friends! Welcome back to Jane's fucking kitchen! Today I want to make the
00:00:14.240 optimal health smoothie for alphas and it's a magic potion that grants you
00:00:20.940 extra health. Now it's actually green it's not red and that has to do with the
00:00:26.160 numerous ingredients which I'm about to show you. First admire my guns though and
00:00:32.100 my hair looking highly glorious and also can you see do you think Teddy looks
00:00:40.200 like he even lifts in regular clothes? It was my sweet fair maiden who actually
00:00:45.040 knitted him a little a little shirt for him to wear. Fuckin' juicy! Juicy as fuck
00:00:51.120 even. Okay first things first we have some good old quark. Now the point with
00:00:59.580 this smoothie is that you get like a large portion of your protein in and then you
00:01:06.060 know you're serving so fruits and veggies for the day so you don't have to worry
00:01:09.300 about all that later on so you just get everything in like one big smoothie and
00:01:13.740 just you know drink it and then you have everything like cleared. So 60 grams of
00:01:20.240 protein right here. Two regular fucking kiwis to add some flavor to the whole thing.
00:01:28.700 Got some spirulina. Like a superfood. I'm not really into you know health foods. I am but
00:01:42.620 I don't say I am because it sounds fucking gay you know with a health smoothie. What
00:01:47.560 kind of pale orc ones? A health smoothie. Sounds gay as fuck but it's good for us so
00:01:53.440 we're gonna utilize some spirulina as well for optimal gains. If you want big
00:02:02.140 forearms you must eat spinach like Popeye and then also don't use straps that much
00:02:11.980 in the gym. Like if you only use your hands and you know chalk or something you
00:02:16.520 will get more stress on your forearms. If you use straps all the time you take
00:02:20.800 away a lot of attention from it. So keep that in mind for big and juicy forearms.
00:02:26.440 And then we also have some just you know to get a little bit of flavor on it because
00:02:34.440 it's you know it's decent enough taste it's not something you want to yeah I'm
00:02:41.220 gonna be honest like it's not the most tasty thing but at least we get in all our
00:02:46.240 servings of fruits and stuff. So be right back. You fucking juicy! Do you think the pale
00:02:58.060 orc would drink this? I don't know but we're elves so we kind of have to get
00:03:02.920 their greens in. So we got two fucking kiwis, the quark and the fucking water and
00:03:12.640 I'm not saying pork. That would be fucking disgusting to have in a fucking shake.
00:03:16.880 It's quark. Quarry in Swedish. And I don't really think that you have
00:03:22.540 anything similar in you know the rest of the world but just look for some sort of
00:03:28.400 dairy products. Now the thing with this is that it's both cheap and high in
00:03:33.480 protein. Why I use it. And now I'm gonna use utilize I mean
00:03:41.400 one teaspoon of this magic powder. I'm not that high level in alchemy so I know
00:03:51.060 its full properties but I know it grants extra stamina and health and magicka
00:03:57.360 region. So a really potent mixer for the budding alchemist. What a sick physique!
00:04:05.040 And then it is just a matter of a good handful of spinach. Something like that. And it
00:04:22.020 looks like you know kind of a thing of the Mirkwood or Lothlorien or whatever.
00:04:27.800 really elven salad right here. So you see that is one. When I'm a close look at it.
00:04:41.300 Look this is one this is one healthy smoothie right here. Look at that look how
00:04:47.240 healthy it is. No seriously no it's it's good for you. Do you understand this? Do you
00:04:52.700 understand this? And so yeah I'm gonna mix this now. Juicy. It matches my shirt.
00:05:03.200 Sickening gains. Alright so that is my my smoothie. Then I have over 60 grams of
00:05:22.340 protein and I have my third servings of fruit and veggies right here. So I don't
00:05:27.560 have to worry about that for the rest of the day. So some great advice as usual
00:05:33.500 from me. And that's what I give. Great advice. And what kind of elf am I? That's a secret.
00:05:44.840 I'll never tell. XXO. Boom!