The Golden One - March 11, 2016


Kingdom of Asturias： The Reconquista. Total War： Attila. Part 9


Episode Stats

Length

18 minutes

Words per Minute

95.23725

Word Count

1,789

Sentence Count

260

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

6


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.920 Greetings, warriors of Christ!
00:00:04.360 And welcome back. I know that it's been quite some time since we grazed these fair lands.
00:00:12.100 But yeah, I thought to at least bring a close to this glorious campaign, so I'm gonna do this 9th episode,
00:00:19.400 and then obviously a 10th episode to get it to a nice clean number 10.
00:00:24.680 So yeah, I don't really even remember where we was last time, but I have made some sickening land gains in all actuality.
00:00:34.660 So we're here with our king Aurelio, laying siege of Cordoba, which obviously will fall to our noble troops.
00:00:46.060 Have a little rebellion here. General Abu'l-Aqazim is his name, actually.
00:00:53.400 And here we have Al-Muhudir, is his name. I might butcher the names. I'm not really that good in Arabic, actually.
00:01:05.480 But it is what it is. Valencia, actually also a war target.
00:01:13.740 Now, what happened here was there was a little rebellion.
00:01:18.360 So I'm just gonna do like this, and take that back.
00:01:24.320 And yeah, I just wanted to talk to you.
00:01:28.120 I just wanted to make this video to make a video, basically.
00:01:33.980 I didn't have any special kind of battle I wanted to take, but I just wanted to update you.
00:01:42.480 Holy God, that's expensive to repair.
00:01:46.440 Just, you know, update on the campaign and bring it to a satisfactory conclusion.
00:01:52.600 We have some Arabs here that we need to kill.
00:01:55.400 Hello.
00:01:55.740 For God himself!
00:01:59.760 Here is a little settlement we can build also.
00:02:06.460 And yeah, obviously we're gonna just out-resolve that.
00:02:11.640 And we can actually send these...
00:02:14.520 Oh lord, look at the public order there.
00:02:17.160 We're not gonna send those up just yet.
00:02:19.740 But I can send this little spy here and see what the crack is in all actuality.
00:02:27.560 Pamplona, Zaragoza and Tudela must obviously...
00:02:36.200 Obvus, obviously, fall to our valiant crusaders.
00:02:41.460 So yeah, I uploaded the little video log, as it were, from Lisbon.
00:02:51.000 I hope you all enjoyed that.
00:02:53.620 I didn't want to film all too much.
00:02:55.680 I only filmed one of the days because I wanted some vacation as well, as it were.
00:02:59.940 And, you know, not having to think about talking all too much.
00:03:04.100 And I think that's...
00:03:05.200 I've watched some other YouTube guys also when they make this kind of travel vlogs.
00:03:10.520 That they're quite short, but they pack much, like, scenes into the video.
00:03:18.360 And then they have music and then, you know, make it a fine piece of art instead of just talking through it.
00:03:24.720 Because after all, I can talk when I'm here in my little room office, as it were.
00:03:29.900 And then when I'm actually out and about, I can film a bit more like that.
00:03:33.620 So I hope you agree with that choice right there.
00:03:39.040 And then actually, in about three weeks, my girl and I are going here to Barcelona for just a few days for some exploration, etc.
00:03:53.000 So that will be really good.
00:03:56.260 Speaking of which, I'm actually going to send up this army right here.
00:04:01.200 Oh, look at that.
00:04:07.120 We might have a battle on our hands.
00:04:12.760 Yeah, we will most probably.
00:04:15.700 Gonna recruit some lads.
00:04:20.040 Probably have a battle there.
00:04:21.520 They'll probably charge us.
00:04:22.800 Other than that, I suppose we can take the turn.
00:04:28.440 Oh, look.
00:04:29.220 I have to kill this particular bastard.
00:04:37.680 Let's do like that.
00:04:40.440 And Cadiz can be a fun thing to take.
00:04:44.500 We're gonna do like that.
00:04:47.480 And level this guy a bit.
00:04:52.900 And what more can we do?
00:04:54.900 We can actually recruit some more units up here in case they don't actually attack us.
00:05:00.580 Gonna go with some...
00:05:01.480 G-knights.
00:05:07.180 It's a great and glorious thing to die for, Ro.
00:05:10.280 Protecting our secrets.
00:05:12.420 Yeah.
00:05:14.180 Let's...
00:05:14.900 Take the turn right there.
00:05:17.680 So, yeah.
00:05:19.260 I think it was...
00:05:20.820 Ah, there they come.
00:05:22.120 There they are.
00:05:22.960 I don't know if we can actually...
00:05:28.300 Take this battle.
00:05:31.980 I'll have to think about it for a moment.
00:05:35.080 Alright, yes.
00:05:36.820 Why not?
00:05:38.280 Let's do it.
00:05:39.240 Because if I flee...
00:05:42.480 And manage to win...
00:05:45.600 The units I just recruited will not be recruited.
00:05:48.760 But if I win now and they stand underground...
00:05:51.560 The units will actually be recruited.
00:05:54.760 So, uh...
00:05:55.840 That is why I want to take this battle.
00:05:58.240 And hopefully we can...
00:05:59.700 Halt them there in the, um...
00:06:04.360 That little crossing here.
00:06:05.740 So that's exactly...
00:06:07.500 What we're gonna do.
00:06:09.480 So, this spearmen...
00:06:11.940 These valiant men of Europe will stand right there.
00:06:15.920 Then we're just gonna unleash hell.
00:06:18.740 Uh...
00:06:19.340 Like that.
00:06:20.040 And then we have...
00:06:21.560 God, give us strength!
00:06:24.540 God, I love it.
00:06:26.220 Absolutely love it.
00:06:29.860 Uh...
00:06:30.660 So, there we are.
00:06:33.380 And...
00:06:34.980 A few cavalry units there.
00:06:38.720 And...
00:06:39.120 Okay.
00:06:40.660 One of you will actually go to this flank.
00:06:43.480 And a general hide behind there.
00:06:45.460 Let's start the battle, true friends.
00:06:49.000 And see what the crack is.
00:06:55.280 Heaven can wait.
00:06:56.400 Heaven can wait.
00:06:56.440 They can actually feel very welcome to come over to us.
00:07:13.840 And if they want to box with me.
00:07:15.720 Because they can stand there as long as they want.
00:07:19.600 Because they are the aggressors.
00:07:22.600 Or I mean, they can stand there as long as they want.
00:07:25.180 It only serves our interests.
00:07:27.000 Because if the timer goes out...
00:07:29.120 And we win.
00:07:30.320 Or it becomes a draw.
00:07:33.160 All right.
00:07:35.700 Let us gauge the range here.
00:07:39.220 Yeah, they're soon in range.
00:07:40.820 Missiles in a waiting time.
00:07:42.640 Can go forward a bit.
00:07:55.780 For the savior!
00:07:58.760 Boom!
00:08:00.060 Yep.
00:08:00.600 That's exactly how it goes, you foolish infidels.
00:08:08.440 They're so silly sometimes.
00:08:10.820 Come on then.
00:08:13.940 Unleash Elg.
00:08:14.660 For the love of God.
00:08:19.940 God, we are...
00:08:21.200 Quite outnumbered.
00:08:27.340 Highly blasphemous.
00:08:40.820 Going to get a cool thumbnail here.
00:08:46.040 Ah, beautiful.
00:08:48.580 That, if anything, true friends, is fucking awesome.
00:08:55.060 Come on.
00:08:57.400 Back, damn you.
00:08:58.280 Could be cool if we could get your general somehow.
00:09:13.120 Ah, this is not particularly nice.
00:09:16.840 The stand run.
00:09:17.720 What are you guys doing?
00:09:24.620 You're not supposed to be in close combat even.
00:09:29.080 Extremely silly of them.
00:09:30.780 Now our general is out on thin ice.
00:09:34.040 I usually don't like uploading a video where I lose a battle, but...
00:09:46.660 But I'm gonna keep it honest with you instead.
00:09:51.420 And if I lose, I lose.
00:09:54.780 That's fine.
00:09:55.680 You can't always win.
00:10:03.440 Come on, get your general now.
00:10:04.980 Yes.
00:10:05.860 Yes.
00:10:07.060 Get him.
00:10:08.600 Get him, boys.
00:10:09.560 Oh, nice.
00:10:23.300 Ah, beautiful.
00:10:24.260 Their general is running.
00:10:25.680 Our men have given up and are running for their lives.
00:10:33.760 God, there are so many battles where I just...
00:10:36.240 Wish I had, like, one heavy cavalry.
00:10:39.560 You need extra.
00:10:45.640 Ah, fuck.
00:10:53.560 Jeb Bush.
00:10:57.260 That's a reference to You Can't Stomp the Trump.
00:11:03.000 Ah, okay.
00:11:04.780 Close.
00:11:05.420 Close battle.
00:11:07.720 Yeah, the reference.
00:11:09.560 Ah, was actually when Donald Trump is imitating Jeb Bush.
00:11:16.920 And he says, Jeb Bush?
00:11:18.900 Oh.
00:11:20.040 And then makes, like, the sign of sleeping on his hands.
00:11:23.560 Ah, extremely hilarious.
00:11:25.640 Because Jeb Bush had so low energy.
00:11:28.120 Okay, cool.
00:11:30.880 Close battle.
00:11:32.160 Unfortunately, we lost there.
00:11:35.680 And, um...
00:11:36.520 Ah, why not try again?
00:11:40.420 Would be quite cool if we could, um, snipe down the general and, uh, and save the day.
00:11:48.020 What do I have to work with here, then?
00:11:49.020 What do I have to work with here, then?
00:11:50.020 Um...
00:11:51.020 You can actually just hide in this shrubbery.
00:11:55.480 And when I say shrubbery, that's a reference to Monty Python's The Holy Grail, which, uh, I've talked about before in, I suppose, when it's now numerous videos.
00:12:11.660 Hello, lads.
00:12:14.000 The enemy has been spotted!
00:12:18.440 Whoop!
00:12:19.080 There they are.
00:12:20.180 Hello.
00:12:20.680 I suppose one volley would be enough there.
00:12:34.740 No.
00:12:36.400 Perhaps they just want to lure us out into the open.
00:12:41.000 Oh, lord.
00:12:41.700 Here they come.
00:12:43.240 Uh, they were, um...
00:12:45.680 They were more than I, um, anticipated.
00:12:48.600 God, give us strength!
00:12:50.680 God, give us strength!
00:12:53.760 Okay, yeah, it was maybe a bit a waste of time to actually take this battle.
00:12:59.020 I'm just gonna try to get, um...
00:13:02.800 Get their general somehow, but, uh, it might be hard since they out-cavalry us.
00:13:10.280 Let's see if we can catch these horsemen with our spearmen.
00:13:29.300 Let's see if we can do this, then.
00:13:33.160 Hello.
00:13:33.820 Boom!
00:13:35.020 to do. Alright, let's see if we can do this then. Hello. Boom. Exactly how it goes if
00:13:55.020 you defy the gloriousness of Christ himself. Okay, cool. Didn't win the battle but we managed
00:14:15.780 the killer general at least. So I suppose it's something. Alright, I'm not saying that it's
00:14:31.400 anyone in particular's fault that we lost that battle but somehow I feel like blaming
00:14:40.660 someone. No, I don't really. Blaming others is not particularly glorious at all. But then
00:14:51.360 obviously you can always explain certain things via the actions of others but you should always
00:14:57.380 accept responsibility yourself for what is being done to you. God, I love all of these
00:15:05.240 different signs they have. Absolutely love it. It brings joy to my life. By the flame I will
00:15:11.400 have my lord's torturers prepare special executions. How dare you talk to me. Okay, I will actually
00:15:17.940 behead you because you have insulted me. Duty calls. Who has the most test testosterone?
00:15:29.420 It doesn't really matter. Let's pay that cunt off. Oh, how quaint. Not really all too concerned
00:15:44.880 with this little garrison fleet here. Let us instead, true friends, take this little cordoba. Boom.
00:15:56.160 Boom. Boom. It has now become our city. Occupy you. Nice. Hello, the justices of Allah. Can we take
00:16:17.320 Cadiz maybe? That could be a fun thing actually. Ah, beaut. Liberate. Emirate. No, that doesn't
00:16:34.340 sound very European at all. We'll occupy you instead. Fun thing for those who are listening or otherwise
00:16:49.400 partaking in this. I mean for those who are watching or otherwise partaking in this glorious
00:16:56.340 video. I know that many of you probably are just listening to it like some sort of a podcast. Fun thing.
00:17:07.140 When I say beaut, that's obviously instead of beautiful. Then you can always call what I do.
00:17:17.140 I call my beloved girlfriend George sometimes. And George obviously means gorgeous. Extremely
00:17:30.140 fun actually. No, not really. It was just a bit of trivia. Good god, we have to repair this city.
00:17:41.680 Oh well. I think I might actually leave this episode right here. You can only dream of retaking
00:17:59.320 this settlement. That much I can tell you because now we have all of these fucking sick cunts
00:18:06.480 coming in. Coming in. Oh. We're gonna have another rebellion there. But I suppose that's fine.
00:18:17.280 Alright, cool. So this I think would be the last, second last episode. And then the next one
00:18:26.200 I'm just gonna round these territories up. Maybe take Jain, Almeria, and Cartagena, and these
00:18:37.200 ones. So cool. Yeah, one more episode. And then I'll start a new campaign. And who am I? I'm the warrior
00:18:45.080 of Christ. XXL. Boom.