The Golden One - October 16, 2014


Shadow of Mordor Part 7

Hosted by
Marcus Follin
Mentioned
Morgoth Lady Moran Fallen Ranger I. Genuinely Pale Orc Karagorbas Lindvald Uppsala Nernan Skyrim Dwarfs Tower Conan Ghoul Dwarf
Shadow of Mordor Part 5 Eternal Glory

Episode Stats


Length

29 minutes

Words per minute

67.28

Word count

1,995

Sentence count

371

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Toxicity

76

sentences flagged

Hate speech

19

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

It's finally time to face the Blackhand and his minions, the pale-hicks! Join us as we face one of the most evil, vile, vile monsters in the history of Sauron, the vile pale-humans!

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 Greetings true friends and welcome back to Mordor. I have my cuddly gaming hood
00:00:14.600 thang on and we have destroyed their blasphemous monument. I personally
00:00:22.920 thought it was cool as fuck but I did it for the for Gondor but we have lured 0.98
00:00:29.000 out the juicy pale orcs. We're gonna fight them. The black captains hath answered 1.00
00:00:35.960 your challenge. So without further ado let's head to it. But first...
00:00:49.720 Sickening!
00:00:59.000 Would have been cool if we had Gollum with us so he could sing. Sing gentle songs of peace to us.
00:01:13.960 Those are some severe fucking hench guys right there. And I need both my gaming hoodie and my glorious Lindvald's coffee. 0.99
00:01:24.920 Hold back.
00:01:29.880 The truth for me.
00:01:31.880 The black hand has come. One of his minions. He was sent here to hunt us down. 1.00
00:01:39.880 Let me gather my men. The servants of Siren are foes beyond any of you.
00:01:45.880 Any of you. Get your people out of Mordor tonight or you'll all be dead lighted on.
00:02:00.840 There... there is a hidden tunnel to the black gate.
00:02:04.840 Aeron. It's time.
00:02:09.800 Aeron the beautiful fair maiden.
00:02:15.800 Look at her green dress. It's really really nice. It matches the hair.
00:02:19.800 As I said in the last episode. And yet again no homo. 1.00
00:02:22.600 But then again it isn't really homo to be admiring a woman's hair. Perhaps it is. I don't know. 1.00
00:02:35.560 That is one brutal fucking hench guy. 1.00
00:02:39.880 To prevent this sacrilege. 1.00
00:02:45.000 Whoop. Ratbag.
00:02:49.640 They all perished in battle my lord.
00:02:53.160 All except me. War Chief Ratbag.
00:02:57.800 Unfortunately. 1.00
00:02:58.680 Fucking beef that is. 1.00
00:02:59.880 You are still alive. 1.00
00:03:04.840 Now. 0.99
00:03:05.800 Bring me the head.
00:03:09.640 Of this grave walker.
00:03:13.160 Claim the head yourself.
00:03:18.920 Now it's on boys. Now it's on.
00:03:25.000 Where was your bravery.
00:03:27.640 When we bled your wife. 0.97
00:03:29.960 And got him your son. 0.70
00:03:32.520 He's only making it worse for himself.
00:03:35.800 That's not a pale orc.
00:03:38.280 That's a pale human. 1.00
00:03:41.960 Fuck. 1.00
00:03:42.440 Back to earth grave walker. 1.00
00:04:05.720 Kill that bastard. 1.00
00:04:06.680 That's really hard to dodge those. 1.00
00:04:22.040 Finish him you useless orc filth. 1.00
00:04:24.280 That's orc filth even. 1.00
00:04:26.680 How profaned. 0.99
00:04:36.280 Useless orc filth. 0.99
00:04:38.360 Okay. 0.97
00:04:38.680 Power gaming mode on.
00:04:40.440 So if I don't talk that much.
00:04:41.640 That's because I. 1.00
00:04:43.800 Genuinely want to beat this bastard. 1.00
00:04:45.720 I don't know. 1.00
00:04:54.760 Now then. 1.00
00:04:55.320 You fucking bastard. 1.00
00:05:04.440 How dare you. 1.00
00:05:06.840 You are but a dog. 1.00
00:05:07.880 And I'm your master. 0.92
00:05:09.560 I don't know.
00:05:11.560 Your time is not now.
00:05:13.480 No but it is.
00:05:27.640 No but it's not.
00:05:28.440 It's time to acquire glory.
00:05:30.040 For my true friends.
00:05:31.080 Now you reach out the death blow.
00:05:32.360 And prove your word. 1.00
00:05:33.480 Fuck. 1.00
00:05:34.120 I will teach you what real pain is. 1.00
00:05:41.800 So get bring it in.
00:05:48.680 Is this your best grave walker?
00:06:01.400 Come on now.
00:06:01.960 How does your vengeance taste tell you.
00:06:04.200 It's beautiful.
00:06:04.920 It's sweet.
00:06:05.400 Is not the darkness sweet?
00:06:07.720 It is.
00:06:21.240 That was one of my best gaming moments ever. 0.88
00:06:25.000 Fucking awesome that I made a let's play out of it. 1.00
00:06:27.560 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:06:29.800 Let's celebrate. 1.00
00:06:30.440 You're acting too hastily.
00:06:36.120 Oh come on.
00:06:36.520 It was nice.
00:06:37.480 Pure sweet revenge. 0.88
00:06:38.840 I slaughtered. 0.81
00:06:40.280 My entire family before my very eyes.
00:06:42.680 I've done the same.
00:06:43.480 How would you have done?
00:06:46.360 Do you speak for the living?
00:06:49.320 Or only with the dead?
00:06:50.360 Ah, another juicy fair maiden. 0.99
00:06:55.800 My name is Lothario from the Sea of Narnan.
00:07:00.440 But her hair wasn't at glory's actually.
00:07:03.720 And here you are.
00:07:05.480 I prefer the under one.
00:07:07.880 Well the Fary of the Sea of Narnan.
00:07:10.680 You should have stayed where you were.
00:07:13.480 There's nothing here but death. 0.92
00:07:14.600 Death and glory.
00:07:16.680 Lady Marwyn, Queen of the Shore wishes an audience with you.
00:07:19.480 She has seen visions of your misfortune.
00:07:24.440 Queen who sees visions.
00:07:26.840 Visions of the return of the great Celebrimbor.
00:07:32.140 Celebrimbor, the Jew's security. 0.87
00:07:38.880 And what is this offering?
00:07:44.920 That is all I know.
00:07:49.480 I must gather provisions.
00:07:52.400 The return to Nernan is long and treacherous.
00:07:56.120 My camp is close by.
00:07:58.780 It will be my honor to escort you. 0.99
00:08:01.800 Let's fucking do it, true friends. 0.99
00:08:04.120 Let's walk and talk with this lady. 1.00
00:08:13.460 Success.
00:08:14.920 We have defeated the Hammer of Sauron.
00:08:17.500 But the Black Hand and the Tower remain.
00:08:20.660 And their master.
00:08:27.360 Message of Glory.
00:08:30.900 We can fast travel.
00:08:34.960 How nice, true friends.
00:08:39.060 How nice.
00:08:39.580 They should have learned by now not to... 0.99
00:08:52.280 Not to have to be fucking trifled with. 1.00
00:08:57.280 Aha! 1.00
00:08:58.680 Sickening a new area.
00:09:00.520 How quaint.
00:09:02.520 Exquisite.
00:09:03.040 Into the heart of Mordor.
00:09:10.540 Ah, Pale Orc. 1.00
00:09:14.800 Mmm.
00:09:18.560 It's a good coffee.
00:09:19.660 And they tend to travel in packs.
00:09:24.300 You should leave.
00:09:25.820 Now.
00:09:27.660 Queen will be pleased to see you.
00:09:29.280 Look at that beautiful landscape.
00:09:51.940 It's really nice.
00:09:53.660 That is gorgeous.
00:10:03.660 That is absolutely beautiful.
00:10:07.300 I'm so happy today, true friends.
00:10:08.940 I hope you can sense that.
00:10:11.600 My energy.
00:10:14.400 Why? 0.99
00:10:15.520 Why the fuck not? 0.99
00:10:16.700 Why wouldn't I have it happen? 0.99
00:10:23.060 I have you left.
00:10:24.100 Lady Marwen, Queen of the Shore. 0.94
00:10:26.180 Sickening. 0.87
00:10:28.700 The Fallen Ranger.
00:10:33.920 From the Black Gate.
00:10:36.800 Come closer.
00:10:37.980 No, thank you.
00:10:40.200 Your daughter claims you have something for me.
00:10:43.740 Not for you, Talion.
00:10:46.700 The hour grows late.
00:10:54.580 Very soon, the Dark Lord and his army won't march all over Mordor.
00:11:01.360 But a great power can be awakened to prevent it.
00:11:09.200 It's the juicy elf they're talking about.
00:11:11.240 A.K.A. me.
00:11:12.680 Breach into Morgoth's scar.
00:11:20.560 Take a juicy dwarf. 1.00
00:11:22.860 Take the elven craftwork from the gores. 1.00
00:11:26.740 And find...
00:11:30.740 A.K.A. me.
00:11:31.740 A.K.A. me.
00:11:32.620 A.K.A. me.
00:11:33.620 A.K.A. me.
00:11:34.620 A.K.A. me.
00:11:35.700 A.K.A. me.
00:11:35.900 A.K.A. me.
00:11:36.620 A.K.A. me.
00:11:40.700 Stay strong.
00:11:42.920 Mother.
00:11:45.400 That is one old and fragile lady. 1.00
00:11:48.840 Ah, that's a good old alchemy back there.
00:12:08.960 They make potions.
00:12:26.300 The White Tree of Gondor.
00:12:28.620 A.K.A. the Juicy Tree of Peace.
00:12:30.760 I need to find the way to Morgoth's scar.
00:12:39.580 There's a good chance we can pick up the ghoul's trail at that ransacked caravan we passed earlier by the ravine. 0.68
00:12:46.720 Direct Uruk caravan. 0.99
00:12:49.680 Let's fucking do it. 0.99
00:12:50.700 It will be highly glorious. 1.00
00:12:53.580 Oh, really?
00:13:07.300 Let us try your pieces, my dear friend.
00:13:13.120 Conan, don't be afraid.
00:13:16.740 Don't be scared, homie. 1.00
00:13:23.580 Aha! Nice, we have found a little tower. I'm going to activate it. Activate by reformed.
00:13:39.080 So now we're actually in a new territory. A much more glorious and beautiful place.
00:13:50.080 Look at that. I greatly admire this landscape. Its aesthetics. Aesthetic as fuck. What a sick physique. 0.51
00:14:04.080 Now who are you? The crowd loves it. I must thank the ghouls before I slaughter them. 0.99
00:14:18.080 Ghouls are scavengers. They take all but leave one thing behind. Look at those graphics. 0.99
00:14:24.080 I must locate the ghouls' tracks. Ghoul, bruh.
00:14:33.080 Let's see where the ghouls' true friends are at.
00:14:42.080 Hmm.
00:14:43.080 How will we leave Barwin scouts to the ambush?
00:14:46.080 I could yell for help like a man. 0.99
00:14:49.080 Help! Help! 0.93
00:14:52.080 None of you sound like filthy men. Got a slave. Its cries will bring them close. 0.99
00:14:59.080 They are making fun of humans that cannot...
00:15:03.080 That is what happens. They must realize that by now.
00:15:22.080 Hmm.
00:15:23.080 It feels rather weird to be even Mordor.
00:15:28.080 No, not...
00:15:30.080 Yeah, well, like, in this game, not being, eh...
00:15:36.080 Just, like, bleak and dark and stuff here.
00:15:38.080 It's more like a juicy elven realm of peace.
00:15:42.080 It's highly sickening.
00:15:46.080 Oh, there we are.
00:15:50.080 Hmm. 0.99
00:15:51.080 Execute. 0.86
00:15:57.080 That is, uh...
00:15:58.080 High-liftest Ostronus.
00:16:04.080 Hmm.
00:16:06.080 Follow the ghoul tracks. 0.82
00:16:13.080 Well.
00:16:16.080 They're ghoul true friends. 0.99
00:16:17.080 That's basically what I did.
00:16:20.080 Didn't die.
00:16:24.080 Hmm.
00:16:25.080 Hmm. 1.00
00:16:29.080 It takes more than a dumb wraith to burn my arse. 1.00
00:16:36.080 Ah, look there. 1.00
00:16:39.080 Ah, look there.
00:16:43.080 Some Karagorbas.
00:16:47.080 And yeah, as we saw in the last episode, it's nice to ride those to wreak extra havoc.
00:17:02.080 Even optimal amounts of epic deeds.
00:17:06.080 What?
00:17:09.080 What?
00:17:16.080 And this is my promise. I have said it before, I will say it again.
00:17:19.080 I promise you that when I'm cut again, and not as fucking heavy and big as I am now,
00:17:24.080 I will make an Assassin's Creed slash Shadow of Mordor in real life video. 0.64
00:17:32.080 Where I climb upon buildings and acquire glory. That's my promise.
00:17:36.080 I'll see where it is, if it's here in good old Uppsala or if it's in Stockholm or Ireland or...
00:17:46.080 Yeah, it can be anywhere like...
00:17:53.080 Oh, without triggering, sorry. I didn't see that.
00:17:58.080 I was too busy.
00:18:04.080 I was too busy.
00:18:05.080 I was too busy.
00:18:06.080 I was too busy explaining about my little plan.
00:18:15.080 Alright.
00:18:16.080 Without triggering...
00:18:17.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:18.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:19.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:20.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:22.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:24.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:25.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:26.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:27.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:29.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:30.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:36.080 The ghoul swarm.
00:18:49.080 Okay, so some sneak action, and now it would have been cool to be the juicy dark elf of Skyrim so that I could just be invisible and have a ridiculously good level of sneak.
00:19:05.080 But this will have to do.
00:19:07.080 I'm sorry.
00:19:17.080 Ghoulbroth.
00:19:28.080 Okay, I'm going to try to stay high.
00:19:34.080 Hiiii...
00:19:37.080 Ghouls fear fire as much as light. Those flames might prove useful if we are overwhelmed. 1.00
00:19:50.080 If we are overwhelmed...
00:19:52.080 Okay, so I can actually perhaps set something aflame to draw the attention away.
00:20:11.080 Let's try that, shall we?
00:20:16.080 Hmmmmmm...
00:20:20.080 Hmmmm....
00:20:22.080 Okay, then...
00:20:30.080 No, I can't really see...
00:20:31.080 I can't really see it would have been awesome with another
00:20:44.400 Okay, let me
00:20:58.620 Not silly me
00:21:04.940 And I'm being cautious here
00:21:14.800 Because
00:21:17.580 I don't want to die 0.81
00:21:28.620 That kind of looked like something you could shoot
00:21:35.120 But it turns red
00:21:37.720 Once you can actually shoot something
00:21:41.340 I must not fail in front of my true friends
00:21:50.580 Okay
00:22:01.080 okay that didn't go
00:22:31.080 then this cave will become my tomb okay I managed that one we'll see if we can
00:22:37.980 let us not repeat that mistake that would be a cool thing not to do
00:22:48.460 there's a fire
00:23:01.080 there we are
00:23:24.080 where are we then? no?
00:23:28.080 okay
00:23:45.080 all right that went well enough I suppose
00:23:58.080 oh nice how quaint an exquisite warhammer of peace
00:24:13.080 dark lord himself
00:24:15.080 look at that vein
00:24:16.080 sickening
00:24:17.080 my family's blood
00:24:18.080 speaking of warhammer I will actually do perhaps a little tutorial on painting warhammer because I'm really good at that
00:24:24.080 look at that
00:24:33.080 look at that elf
00:24:34.080 highly beautiful
00:24:36.080 I actually think Sauron might have the coolest armor I've ever seen
00:24:51.080 comment below if you know anyone with a cooler armor than Sauron
00:25:06.080 yeah
00:25:07.080 yeah
00:25:08.080 do it
00:25:09.080 might be funny to see if there is
00:25:13.080 action
00:25:14.080 whoa 0.99
00:25:15.080 fuck 1.00
00:25:23.080 ghoul matron 1.00
00:25:24.080 man
00:25:26.720 but
00:25:27.080 they will strike back
00:25:28.080 okay 1.00
00:25:54.080 Fuck. 1.00
00:26:24.080 The storm has burst. 1.00
00:26:26.080 The danger has not.
00:26:28.080 Escape the cave.
00:26:30.080 Okay.
00:26:34.080 We must escape this darkness.
00:26:37.080 Those fires will stop them.
00:26:46.080 The entrance is dark.
00:26:48.080 And so is our end if we don't reach it in time.
00:26:54.080 Ah.
00:27:12.080 Fwaa.
00:27:15.080 Huh. Nice.
00:27:17.080 It's good to enter power gaming mode.
00:27:19.080 And then talkative mode.
00:27:24.080 Ninja take cover.
00:27:31.080 Look at that.
00:27:32.080 True friend.
00:27:33.080 To my assistance.
00:27:42.080 Glorious hair.
00:27:47.080 Who is that now? 0.98
00:27:49.080 It looks fucking juicy. 0.99
00:27:50.080 You can't win your military career inside the belly of a ghoul, eh? 0.99
00:27:57.080 I'm Torven.
00:27:58.080 The beast hunter.
00:28:00.080 And I bet ten pints you just now have the treasure I was after.
00:28:05.080 Now I am grateful for the assistance.
00:28:07.080 But it does not grant you proprietary rights.
00:28:10.080 Heh.
00:28:11.080 Keep it!
00:28:12.080 I just found something a lot more valuable.
00:28:14.080 The Jassy Dwarf. 0.81
00:28:15.080 Or what would that be?
00:28:16.080 My new hunting partner.
00:28:19.080 What you hunt...
00:28:21.080 ...is not interest me, Master Dwarf. 0.69
00:28:23.080 Don't be such an ingrate now.
00:28:25.080 That he hunt me.
00:28:29.080 He's a true friend after all.
00:28:30.080 Every creature's got it's lurey. 0.95
00:28:37.080 Yours just happens to be very old.
00:28:43.080 Well, if the throne of the hunt takes your fancy, my camp's not far.
00:28:48.080 Find the Dwarf.
00:28:58.080 I don't know when it happened, but...
00:29:01.080 Dwarfs and elves aren't really on the best of terms.
00:29:06.080 But they're allowed to conclude this highly glorious episode.
00:29:10.080 Really nice one.
00:29:13.080 Good missions.
00:29:15.080 Sickening.
00:29:17.080 Thank you so much for watching. 0.98
00:29:18.080 And yeah, comment below if you actually know someone, or you think someone, who has a cooler, more juicy fucking hench alpha armor than Sauron. 0.60
00:29:28.080 I'm very interested in hearing that. 0.89
00:29:34.080 And who am I?
00:29:36.080 I'm the golden one.
00:29:38.080 XXO.