The Golden One - October 19, 2014


Shadow of Mordor Part 8


Episode Stats

Length

24 minutes

Words per Minute

61.992077

Word Count

1,518

Sentence Count

228

Misogynist Sentences

14

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Greetings, you friends, and welcome back to Mordor.
00:00:12.800 Last episode, I slew not a pale orc, but a pale human who was also bench for the hench.
00:00:20.380 And we found ourselves in this highly glorious place.
00:00:29.480 So we're going to start the queen of the shore now for optimal glory.
00:00:35.180 We're going to accept glorious gym lifestyle shirt and some glorious coffee.
00:00:48.420 She is not well at all, your friends.
00:00:51.140 She creeps me out.
00:01:00.840 I found the mithril hammer.
00:01:03.540 The mithril hammer of justice.
00:01:07.760 Sickening flames.
00:01:09.720 Show me why my soul was denied death.
00:01:11.820 She needs to do some more cardio, I think.
00:01:24.200 You are the victim of a blood sacrifice.
00:01:28.220 Can the curse be broken?
00:01:29.560 I wouldn't want to break the curse, though.
00:01:37.440 Destroy the Black Hand and his followers and claim Mordor.
00:01:44.520 The women of Gondor will come to my aid.
00:01:47.040 You don't need them.
00:01:55.880 Your power begets followers.
00:01:59.640 Willing or otherwise.
00:02:02.540 I'm an orc army.
00:02:05.740 An orc army of testosterone and juiciness.
00:02:09.820 How do I do this?
00:02:11.320 Your answers are in the fortress nearby, but what you seek may not be there for much longer.
00:02:19.400 Let's get at it then, true friends.
00:02:21.940 Hmm.
00:02:22.400 Make haste while avoiding detection.
00:02:43.700 Okay, true friends.
00:02:44.480 I assume I will be failing this quest at least once, but I'll try my best to fucking make it.
00:03:06.220 So, speed is of the essence, but so is not being detected.
00:03:14.480 I think I made a little mistake there.
00:03:35.160 No?
00:03:42.220 Hmm.
00:03:42.780 Okay, um...
00:03:44.780 I failed that little mission.
00:03:55.780 Oh well.
00:03:57.380 Let's have to restart.
00:03:59.720 Took the wrong turn there.
00:04:01.800 I haven't drunken enough coffee yet to...
00:04:04.780 properly enter gaming mode.
00:04:11.780 The future must be met.
00:04:13.780 Alright then.
00:04:15.780 I will not...
00:04:17.780 make the same silly mistake this time.
00:04:20.780 And I took a right turn.
00:04:29.780 And I took a right turn.
00:04:32.780 Don't go far into your weapon's drill.
00:04:33.780 Huh?
00:04:34.780 Stupid dude.
00:04:35.780 it's complicated.
00:04:37.340 Yeah.
00:04:50.280 Right.
00:04:51.380 A lot of Auxis.
00:04:53.120 And yet again I find myself...
00:04:56.780 Long long for the company of Gollum to sing me merry tunes.
00:05:05.780 That would have been a cool thing.
00:05:12.780 Alright, this wasn't actually so hard. I thought it would be a bit harder.
00:05:20.780 There we are.
00:05:21.780 Oh, look at that. Some juicy humans have been captured by the filthy orcs.
00:05:28.780 We must...
00:05:39.780 The health is more hardcore.
00:05:42.780 Me.
00:05:44.780 The Queen told us our answers to building an orc army lie within this fortress.
00:05:48.780 If we brand those archers, we can build our army and save these men at the same time.
00:05:53.780 Brand.
00:05:59.780 When you drain enemies, you will now also apply...
00:06:03.780 Aha, cool!
00:06:06.780 Stealth brand.
00:06:09.780 Shift tab A.
00:06:10.780 Okay, I'll try to remember that.
00:06:12.780 Brand.
00:06:13.780 F**k.
00:06:18.780 Um...
00:06:25.780 Alright, now...
00:06:29.780 I'm entering power gaming mode.
00:06:31.780 Should I show their insides the light of death?
00:06:37.780 So this will be our first test subject.
00:06:40.780 I'm gonna...
00:06:42.780 Make it my orc...
00:06:45.780 Is mine.
00:06:47.780 A.
00:07:11.780 Now then, another orcs is to my army.
00:07:21.780 Sickening.
00:07:22.780 There's another little orc.
00:07:41.780 Okay, we got one on the other side there.
00:07:53.780 Talion.
00:07:56.780 Now.
00:08:02.780 Beautifully done Talion.
00:08:07.780 And now we have...
00:08:18.780 There's another little archer, bro.
00:08:22.780 We can...
00:08:28.780 I'm gonna attract you and see if we can...
00:08:33.780 I'm sneaking about.
00:08:35.780 Just a bit closer now.
00:08:45.780 Sickening.
00:08:58.780 Alright, cool.
00:08:59.780 We got one little orcs to go.
00:09:03.780 Hopefully I can...
00:09:08.780 Behind here.
00:09:13.780 And we got one more.
00:09:15.780 Ah, fuck.
00:09:17.780 Okay.
00:09:18.780 The only bonus objective was to do it in time.
00:09:38.780 Eliminate all enemies.
00:09:39.780 Okay.
00:09:40.780 Let's...
00:09:41.780 It's fucking go time.
00:09:42.780 Not in the gym, but in Mordor.
00:09:48.780 Come on then.
00:09:49.780 I will kill you.
00:09:50.780 For your genius crimes.
00:09:51.780 Huh.
00:09:52.780 Huh.
00:09:53.780 Huh.
00:09:54.780 Huh.
00:09:55.780 I must save my...
00:09:56.780 Uh...
00:09:57.780 I must save my...
00:09:58.780 Uh...
00:09:59.780 I'm not in the gym, but in Mordor.
00:10:01.780 I'm not in the gym, but in Mordor.
00:10:06.780 Huh.
00:10:08.780 Uh...
00:10:09.780 I'm not in the gym.
00:10:12.780 I must save my newly recruited walk-ouchers.
00:10:22.780 I must save my newly-recruited Fork Archers.
00:10:35.780 Ah! Get out of there! Get out!
00:10:43.780 Ah! Come on, run then! Come on, Talion!
00:10:48.780 Get out of there!
00:10:52.780 Oh!
00:11:04.780 Fuck!
00:11:07.780 I can't really see anything either.
00:11:10.780 Come on then, run away!
00:11:13.780 There you are.
00:11:15.780 And... where are my juicy archers then?
00:11:19.780 Are you with me?
00:11:21.780 Yeah?
00:11:23.780 Fightin' damn you!
00:11:27.780 Ah! Elfshot needed!
00:11:29.780 How silly!
00:11:30.780 Hmm...
00:11:31.780 Hmm...
00:11:32.780 Hmm...
00:11:34.780 Well, I can just leave it to the archers to, uh...
00:11:38.780 To, uh...
00:11:46.780 To deal with these...
00:11:47.780 With these sick cunts with a sick physique.
00:11:52.780 Fuck.
00:11:53.780 Come on, Aran.
00:11:54.780 Kill him!
00:11:59.780 Come on, Aran.
00:12:01.780 Kill him!
00:12:02.780 There's one more little orcs is somewhere here.
00:12:11.780 I hope it's not that...
00:12:12.780 Oh, maybe it is.
00:12:15.780 Oh, maybe it is.
00:12:16.780 Is it the Caragor, perhaps, that I need to...
00:12:21.780 Slay?
00:12:23.780 Hm...
00:12:24.780 Oh, well.
00:12:54.780 No, that was nothing.
00:13:07.220 Where are you?
00:13:15.160 The Courage of Men, that is the second time the Courage of Men gets slighted like that.
00:13:21.540 Aha, there he is.
00:13:24.980 How silly of you to stand against me.
00:13:32.420 Alright, cool.
00:13:36.220 Nice.
00:13:37.220 That was intense enough, I suppose.
00:13:41.220 Yes.
00:13:44.220 Yes.
00:13:45.220 Yes.
00:13:46.220 Yes.
00:13:47.220 Yes.
00:13:48.220 Yes.
00:13:49.220 Yes.
00:13:50.220 But I told you not to...
00:13:53.580 Guys, stop.
00:13:55.860 Queen Marwyn sent us to find this.
00:14:02.260 That is a glorious secret.
00:14:04.820 Okay, cool.
00:14:07.820 It's the elf's hairband.
00:14:13.460 Boom.
00:14:17.860 That is a glorious elf markmanship.
00:14:24.460 Find us on its own shaking.
00:14:27.780 The elf's side of the authors of the eye.
00:14:31.000 It's time to capture the majesty.
00:14:35.000 ihn compartmentalize.
00:14:36.600 Let's move on.
00:14:37.560 This is a fortune, isn't it?
00:14:38.560 We can buy the were'sANT Aram.
00:14:40.100 Now that there's still lots of fresh elf oresz.
00:14:42.220 Do you have to destroy the spaceship?
00:14:43.400 You have to destroy the body you've saved.
00:14:44.420 With death, we wanna steal the country.
00:14:46.080 Let's leave it, let's stop.
00:14:47.280 Well, it's the Quite Early Across The подписse
00:14:48.500 board that was found here for you to come up.
00:14:50.440 That is one glorious elf right there.
00:15:20.440 We should all model ourselves after heroic deeds like that. In life and in the gym.
00:15:37.440 That was one cool cinematic. I'm pumped up right now. I'm really pumped up by that.
00:15:44.440 Eliminate the reinforcements. I need elf shots, true friends.
00:15:54.440 I'm gonna find some elf shots actually before I head on into the action.
00:16:04.440 Them elf shots. Indeed it is. Glorious.
00:16:15.440 Let's look at... That's an archer. I'm gonna deal with him.
00:16:34.440 Ah, the filthy Uruks.
00:16:44.440 Okay, I need more elf shots for that.
00:16:48.440 When I do the special attack, more elf shots are needed.
00:16:59.440 Okay, let's relive some of the action we have sought.
00:17:04.440 But we're a human reindeer instead.
00:17:13.440 Yeah, as I said, I can't get enough of those executions. I fucking love it.
00:17:21.440 Love it.
00:17:22.440 There we are.
00:17:33.440 Beautifully done, Marcus.
00:17:36.440 Or Talion, should I say.
00:17:39.440 Success.
00:17:41.440 Sickening.
00:17:42.440 I think it is another to make them our followers.
00:17:45.440 It is a gift.
00:17:47.440 We can use the weapon of the enemy against him.
00:17:50.440 Power on the ring.
00:17:53.440 Cool.
00:17:57.440 No target selected.
00:17:59.440 I'm gonna do one more little side mission here for the lols.
00:18:04.440 While we're at it, and then in the next episode I'll continue on with the main quest.
00:18:11.440 How about that?
00:18:16.440 Ledge kill.
00:18:21.440 You took me!
00:18:27.440 And I assume that there is a little aux is up in this tower.
00:18:30.440 Oh yes.
00:18:31.440 Oh yes.
00:18:32.440 Oh yes.
00:18:35.440 Boom.
00:18:39.440 There's a...
00:18:41.440 Another one.
00:18:44.440 Oh quaint.
00:18:46.440 I'm gonna try to stay hidden also.
00:19:01.440 Now they are...
00:19:06.440 They're out to get me.
00:19:17.440 Yes, come on then.
00:19:19.440 Kill that bastard.
00:19:31.440 Hit me.
00:19:49.440 Ahhh, come on.
00:19:51.440 I want you dead you fat bastard okay that didn't go up all in plan at all
00:20:09.920 now can I
00:20:39.480 can I please release you now okay I think I have to defeat everyone first before I
00:20:54.600 commence that but damn they are very many
00:21:01.160 bye I'm heading on off from this highly blasphemous place
00:21:15.980 I think I'm gonna hide for just a while and then let me take a sip of coffee
00:21:30.140 before I head on off
00:21:36.380 I'm hungry slave my dinner is in your belly
00:21:47.380 that is how you stealth kill people
00:22:02.220 hmm and you as well come on no don't run I just want to talk to you
00:22:15.460 yes come on then cut free and we're one to go
00:22:21.220 thanks Ranger you are very welcome my friend go then come on
00:22:35.220 I don't want him to raise the alarm now
00:22:47.220 that is how you hunt down oxys
00:22:54.220 a little elf out there oh yeah so the the humans are hungry as fuck but the
00:23:03.200 uruks like the cunts they are don't want to share the food
00:23:07.220 if you want meat should have been born an uruk and we have one
00:23:36.220 there as well thank goodness you're here help me I will my man I will help you
00:23:43.220 my dinner is gonna deal with this this guy I didn't get the bonus objective but
00:23:55.220 but still I freed some humans and that was sickening
00:24:00.220 alright cool the hunger success a bit of a shorter episode today but I hope it's been glorious
00:24:08.220 anyway and next time I will either meet the dwarf or go back to the old lady and see what the crack is with her
00:24:18.220 so thank you for watching and who am I I'm the proud son of Gondor
00:24:27.220 XOXO
00:24:28.220 boom