The Golden One - October 21, 2014


Shadow of Mordor Part 9


Episode Stats

Length

26 minutes

Words per Minute

90.68649

Word Count

2,395

Sentence Count

406

Misogynist Sentences

12

Hate Speech Sentences

21


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Greetings you friends. Welcome back to Mordo. I thought to just hang out with you all a bit.
00:00:13.360 I also have my loyal Teddy Bear of Glory, who is also gaming with me and some Glorious Lindvalls coffee
00:00:23.720 for optimal gaming performance. Last episode we killed some Uruks. Now we're gonna talk with our true friend
00:00:35.000 the Dwarf of Juiciness and he is on the other side of the map so we got some fucking cardio to perform
00:00:44.000 first but that's fine. Then I get to talk a bit without getting interrupted as I
00:00:51.980 have a tendency to be, to get, get interrupted. And yeah, still warming up my English as per huge.
00:01:08.700 We have Ishka the runner to the right there but he will have to wait for my tender attentions.
00:01:16.380 Look at this, look at this place. Really great scenery, great graphics, great gameplay.
00:01:25.820 I am very impressed with this game. Very impressed.
00:01:33.740 And when I have done a few more episodes of both this and Rise of Rome I will perhaps make a little
00:01:41.820 comparison and talk about the two games and you know older games I recommend. Obviously Skyrim needs
00:01:48.380 or deserves a special mention. But then again, like everybody has played Skyrim and I will
00:01:56.300 do more Skyrim Let's Plays, no question about it at all. We'll probably start a new Nord character,
00:02:04.540 light armor and light armor and that two-handed weapon to get that barbarian kind of feel.
00:02:17.980 Okay, I will rescue them later on.
00:02:24.300 But first I have to relax with this juicy Dwarf a bit.
00:02:30.860 All right, here we are. Big game.
00:02:37.260 Ah, okay. Now I have to fight a Karagor. Oh look, he has a slain one.
00:02:43.020 You shouldn't hear me.
00:02:48.460 It's a clean kill.
00:02:49.340 Ah, Scottish Dwarven true friend. How quaint.
00:02:53.340 It's going to go to waste.
00:02:55.100 What's your name-breaker?
00:03:01.500 Italian.
00:03:02.940 What were you? Lieutenant.
00:03:06.540 No, actually, it was a captain.
00:03:08.780 A captain of glory.
00:03:10.140 Ooh, my mistake. We have a captain in our midst.
00:03:15.020 Well, better look sharp, eh? Captain's coming.
00:03:18.860 Better sharpen the swords, eh? And make sure our boots are nice and shiny.
00:03:22.940 But a cunt, he wasn't very pleasant at all.
00:03:28.860 So tell me, captain.
00:03:32.140 Have you ever hunted a graug?
00:03:35.740 A graug has what you promised me.
00:03:37.580 Aye.
00:03:39.580 Aye, lad.
00:03:40.140 Just any graug.
00:03:42.540 The largest one I ever came across.
00:03:44.940 Fine then, let's get at it.
00:03:53.740 Juicy, Juicy Shudge.
00:03:55.420 I should do just fine.
00:03:58.540 I've been trained very well.
00:03:59.660 My dog, Silver, was trained very well.
00:04:07.660 That was before she got eaten by a warg.
00:04:11.980 Hunt, it's not about rules, my captain.
00:04:15.900 We're not going to line up and have someone play with our lives.
00:04:19.020 It's about instinct.
00:04:20.540 And it's about gloves.
00:04:23.340 Which, as you can see, I know a thing or two about.
00:04:30.540 You want basics on a hunt?
00:04:34.940 Follow me.
00:04:35.500 That is a rough fucking hench guy right there.
00:04:40.220 Perhaps a bit rude, but...
00:04:41.820 A hunt is its own beast, one you must learn to tame.
00:04:45.500 First lesson of cargore hunting.
00:04:49.340 Do not die.
00:04:51.260 What do we need them for?
00:04:52.300 We ride them.
00:04:54.140 A worthy mount for a dangerous hunt.
00:04:57.260 But these beasts will not be impressed by your rank.
00:05:00.540 All flesh tastes the same to them.
00:05:02.700 Indeed it does.
00:05:03.980 Once you go on the hunt, Captain, you'll come out a changed man.
00:05:08.300 Hopefully for the better, but you never know.
00:05:10.860 And, uh...
00:05:13.260 And those hunting wargs have picked up their ways quickly.
00:05:16.940 But cargores?
00:05:18.060 Well, those bastards are a tougher breed.
00:05:20.940 Took me nearly a year to figure them out.
00:05:25.180 Cargores.
00:05:26.540 Buggers hate water.
00:05:28.460 I once tried to ride one through a river, but she high-tailed it up a cliffside with me on its back.
00:05:33.980 Amazing what they'll do to avoid the good cleaning, eh?
00:05:37.340 Huh, cool.
00:05:38.140 The hunt is my mistress.
00:05:40.700 Beautiful, thrilling, infectious.
00:05:44.220 And she doesn't nag, like my wife.
00:05:49.820 Oh, you haven't lived until you've been on the hunt, Captain.
00:05:53.020 The very air smells different.
00:05:56.060 Like triumph.
00:05:57.020 Triumph.
00:05:58.860 Glorious.
00:06:02.540 Ranger, over here!
00:06:05.020 I'm coming.
00:06:06.460 That one over there looks quite aggressive.
00:06:08.780 Don't even try creeping up on the cargore.
00:06:12.060 It'll catch your scent a mile away.
00:06:14.140 What do you propose then?
00:06:15.420 When you hop in and introduce yourself, ask it for a ride.
00:06:21.740 Hmm.
00:06:22.060 Hmm.
00:06:25.180 Okay, cool.
00:06:26.300 And control...
00:06:28.460 Right, true friends.
00:06:34.380 Let's try it then.
00:06:38.220 Hello.
00:06:38.540 I thought I couldn't do it.
00:06:50.940 If it kills you, well, you did it wrong.
00:06:53.100 Okay.
00:06:58.060 Hmm, okay.
00:06:58.860 Okay.
00:07:00.060 That is, uh...
00:07:04.700 What now?
00:07:05.340 Climb on his back!
00:07:07.180 Now then, come on.
00:07:09.900 Yes, there we are.
00:07:10.860 Come on with the beast!
00:07:13.420 I thought I would have to fail this first before I could, but now, cool.
00:07:25.660 All right then, my Dwarven friend, let's hunt something, shall we?
00:07:31.580 Highly Glorious.
00:07:32.380 Oh, that's sickening.
00:07:34.220 Not about the same time it took me to tame one.
00:07:37.500 You might be a natural, captain.
00:07:39.340 He, uh, the captain is a natural, actually.
00:07:41.260 You didn't feel too bad back there.
00:07:42.220 Where'd you get your train in, captain?
00:07:44.540 I hail from the Black Gate.
00:07:47.580 But he will take, uh, testosterone when his own natural levels drop.
00:07:51.580 But as we can see in this game, he, uh, he has no lack of fucking testosterone from his, uh...
00:07:57.580 Oh, that's fucking juicy.
00:08:03.180 Right, let's do some cardio with sprinting here.
00:08:08.620 Bonus objective.
00:08:09.580 Kill more orcs than Turing.
00:08:11.900 Oh, that was humans.
00:08:13.100 Sorry, mates.
00:08:20.540 I mean, it's swinging for the fences.
00:08:22.300 He got two.
00:08:32.140 I got one.
00:08:41.020 Oh, there we are.
00:08:43.420 Might even get the bonus of the active air.
00:08:45.180 That's sickening.
00:08:46.540 You've been hunting and learning for long, Dwarf.
00:08:54.060 For years and years.
00:08:55.820 Land used to be more lush.
00:08:57.820 Now a doom slowly sweeps over it.
00:09:01.660 Like much of Mordo.
00:09:03.340 But it's still quite lush, though.
00:09:04.620 The doom does add a space to the hunt.
00:09:06.460 I would say.
00:09:07.740 You take him up high.
00:09:16.060 Leave the ground docks to me.
00:09:17.420 The world was young.
00:09:24.940 The mountains green.
00:09:26.540 No steam.
00:09:27.260 All right.
00:09:29.980 Let me, uh, I've entered power gaming mode, true friends.
00:09:33.980 That is why...
00:09:40.460 Oh, fuck.
00:09:43.340 That is why I'm untalkative.
00:09:47.340 Here we are.
00:09:49.260 Fucking bastard.
00:09:55.020 We might not have golem, but we have a juicy corpse, the scene as Mary Toons.
00:09:59.100 That is nice.
00:10:03.980 Not set my beard to light.
00:10:06.300 Hello.
00:10:07.980 Hello.
00:10:14.780 All right.
00:10:15.180 Get out of here.
00:10:17.340 Get out of here, boys.
00:10:20.860 You've got a dog, and I'm your monster.
00:10:23.660 Get out of here.
00:10:32.060 This is nice.
00:10:32.780 Fighting from, uh, not Horus back, but, uh, Karagor back.
00:10:39.020 Should be a feature in more, uh, Storstrom's games.
00:10:47.500 And speaking of Skyrim.
00:10:48.780 I actually haven't fought from Horus back in Skyrim, so that's one thing I have to do.
00:11:08.380 He's a bit cocky.
00:11:09.180 A bit cocky.
00:11:10.060 Training yourself to see the perfect moment, rather than being told it.
00:11:14.700 I once tracked a Grey Eagle back in her nest.
00:11:20.220 I decided to let them be, even before they tossed me to the rocks below.
00:11:31.420 More cuntin' party.
00:11:33.260 Let's hunt them bastards for a change.
00:11:38.140 Kill more Uruks.
00:11:39.500 Yeah, that, uh...
00:11:40.940 Look at the speed of this Karagor.
00:11:50.220 This is really nice.
00:11:51.180 I'm feeling, uh, quite powerful here indeed.
00:11:55.340 Perfect pre-workout gaming.
00:12:04.780 I'm leading against the Cuckoo Wolf.
00:12:07.980 Maybe I'll be a bit more humble when I win this contest.
00:12:13.980 Ability.
00:12:17.260 I'm gonna unlock something.
00:12:18.940 Let's level here, true friends.
00:12:22.540 Let us level.
00:12:30.860 Brace of Daggers, that's not really fun.
00:12:32.860 That sounds, uh, that sounds nice.
00:12:44.700 Cool.
00:12:47.420 Can't wait to try that out.
00:12:51.820 But first, we must slay these genius bastards.
00:12:57.500 Yeah.
00:13:03.900 No Mé.
00:13:22.380 Yes.
00:13:25.020 Ah.
00:13:25.580 Come on then.
00:13:34.580 Oh, there we are. Nice.
00:13:41.580 Torrin.
00:13:42.580 You make a nice meal, Torr.
00:13:44.580 Torrin needs help.
00:13:54.580 Okay, he got owned there.
00:14:00.580 Oh, fuck. No!
00:14:04.580 Oh, fuck.
00:14:06.580 Okay, let's retry.
00:14:12.580 Go to him, Talion.
00:14:14.580 Perhaps we should track the hunter.
00:14:20.580 I see how you fight all, you beast!
00:14:23.580 Torrin needs help.
00:14:26.580 On shift, a leaping takedown.
00:14:32.580 Ah, sickening.
00:14:35.580 Notice.
00:14:39.580 Yeah.
00:14:40.580 I had him.
00:14:42.580 You did not.
00:14:43.580 What does riding categories have to do with killing Grouges?
00:14:46.580 If all these questions come in.
00:14:47.580 It is for the crack leg.
00:14:48.580 For the lones.
00:14:49.580 You are supposed to follow orders.
00:14:50.580 You are testing my patience, Torrin.
00:14:52.580 Pay attention.
00:14:54.580 Hunter respect the beast.
00:14:56.580 You need size and strength to fight the mighty Groug.
00:15:01.580 Remember.
00:15:03.580 Hunt.
00:15:04.580 Sir.
00:15:06.580 Who knows?
00:15:07.580 Who knows?
00:15:08.580 He will even call you sir.
00:15:13.580 The chief of me.
00:15:23.580 Big game.
00:15:24.580 Success.
00:15:27.580 How about that reference?
00:15:29.580 How about that?
00:15:31.580 That is highly sickening.
00:15:33.580 That will have to...
00:15:36.580 This dwarf is far from home.
00:15:38.580 Not all.
00:15:40.580 I will see if that will have to conclude.
00:15:44.580 Usually one little mission is...
00:15:47.580 Okay.
00:15:48.580 You know what.
00:15:49.580 Let's go there actually.
00:15:50.580 Those who wander are lost.
00:15:51.580 I have dominated this beast.
00:15:52.580 Yeah.
00:15:53.580 Let's see how far we get with them.
00:15:54.580 I have dominated this beast.
00:15:55.580 Yeah.
00:15:56.580 Let's see how far we get with them.
00:15:57.580 I have dominated this beast.
00:15:58.580 Yeah.
00:15:59.580 Let's see how far we get with them.
00:16:00.580 I have dominated this beast.
00:16:02.580 Yeah.
00:16:03.580 I have dominated this beast.
00:16:04.580 Yeah.
00:16:05.580 Let's see how far we get with them.
00:16:07.580 Okay.
00:16:08.580 The art requests.
00:16:09.580 Come on.
00:16:10.580 Go down then.
00:16:15.580 Uh.
00:16:16.580 Perhaps we need to...
00:16:20.580 There we are.
00:16:26.580 Oh, there we are.
00:16:29.580 Let's do one more thang, true friends.
00:16:36.580 I hope you're not put off by my wee scars.
00:16:40.580 I'm not. I think it's rather cool, actually.
00:16:43.580 Actually, I have a few of my own.
00:16:46.580 I'll bet. What type of battle scars did you get from the Black Gate, eh?
00:16:50.580 Splinters?
00:16:52.580 Or did you scar your voice telling your soldiers to head into battle?
00:16:58.580 Very lightly.
00:17:00.580 My scars run very deep.
00:17:04.580 Huh.
00:17:07.580 The mighty Grog.
00:17:09.580 He gave me these.
00:17:12.580 And he also...
00:17:15.580 took my hunting partner.
00:17:22.580 So, what now?
00:17:24.580 Well, another lesson for you, my captain.
00:17:28.580 Maybe you'll even come out of this one then, scar.
00:17:35.580 Alright, true friends.
00:17:37.580 So, what backward lesson do you have planned this time, eh?
00:17:40.580 Shooting Crabane to prepare us for the mighty Grog?
00:17:43.580 You wanna hunt Grog?
00:17:45.580 So you shall.
00:17:47.580 But not just any Grog.
00:17:49.580 This is a rare one.
00:17:51.580 It's still strong and glory.
00:17:52.580 Territorally.
00:17:53.580 Strong enough to claim land as its own.
00:17:55.580 And you and me...
00:17:57.580 We're trespassing.
00:17:58.580 Tell me, captain.
00:18:00.580 You ever slay a Grog before?
00:18:02.580 Today will be the first of many.
00:18:04.580 Now you're talking like a hunter.
00:18:06.580 Oh, look at that.
00:18:08.580 That is one juicy.
00:18:11.580 Oh, since that's the largest part of you.
00:18:13.580 I like those odds.
00:18:15.580 So I assume you have a plan to kill this Grog.
00:18:18.580 I do, captain.
00:18:19.580 And since you're so good at taking orders,
00:18:22.580 I'll tell you how, step by step.
00:18:24.580 Step one, when he's crunching on an Uruk,
00:18:27.580 sneak up behind the giant beast and bleed the bastard's ankle.
00:18:31.580 But why not his throat?
00:18:33.580 There is one place Grogs aren't covered in spiky scales.
00:18:37.580 They don't call a weakness a Grog's heel for nothing.
00:18:40.580 You want me to sidle up to this beast?
00:18:43.580 If you can manage it without being crushed, yes.
00:18:50.580 Alrighty then.
00:18:52.580 Let us...
00:18:53.580 There it goes.
00:18:54.580 Let's do it.
00:18:55.580 What a fine, fine specimen.
00:18:57.580 And it'll meet a fine end.
00:19:01.580 Hold left shift.
00:19:04.580 Sneak up behind an unaware...
00:19:06.580 He's unaware.
00:19:07.580 He's not been on the misc.
00:19:08.580 Drawing and press...
00:19:10.580 ...to bleed.
00:19:13.580 And drive to Karagors.
00:19:16.580 Alright.
00:19:17.580 Bear with me if I fail this at least once.
00:19:31.580 I've got to pierce it's ankle if I want to bleed it.
00:19:34.580 I've got to pierce it's ankle if I want to bleed it.
00:19:39.580 Trap!
00:19:43.580 Step two, captain.
00:19:44.580 The blood will attract Karagors.
00:19:49.580 Whoa, fuck.
00:19:50.580 Your speed will now match the ground.
00:19:52.580 If you have to chase you, I'll be waiting.
00:19:54.580 I'll be waiting.
00:19:55.580 That will be...
00:19:56.580 Quite a ride.
00:19:57.580 Mount a Karagor.
00:20:00.580 Come then Karagor, quickly.
00:20:02.580 Before I...
00:20:05.580 Before I get fucking thrown by this beast.
00:20:07.580 I need a Karagor for speed.
00:20:10.580 Oh, there.
00:20:11.580 I need a Karagor for speed.
00:20:13.580 Okay.
00:20:14.580 Okay, fuck.
00:20:23.580 Come then so I can mount you.
00:20:26.580 Quickly now.
00:20:28.580 No?
00:20:34.580 Alright.
00:20:35.580 Let me be a bit bold here.
00:20:41.580 Ah, fuck.
00:20:43.580 No.
00:20:44.580 Don't kill me.
00:20:52.580 That didn't go according to plan at all.
00:21:00.580 Let's save him again.
00:21:01.580 Head on up here and mount a Karagor from here.
00:21:05.580 Got close now.
00:21:12.580 Here we are.
00:21:13.580 Help Quaint.
00:21:23.580 Yes, come on then.
00:21:24.580 Sounds easy enough.
00:21:27.580 But is it easy enough?
00:21:32.580 Whoop.
00:21:36.580 Shoot it in the head.
00:21:41.580 Look at that.
00:22:01.580 Look at that.
00:22:11.580 There's nothing to do with it.
00:22:14.580 What's step four?
00:22:15.580 There is no step four.
00:22:17.580 It should be dead.
00:22:19.580 You must have done it wrong.
00:22:20.580 I'm following your orders.
00:22:22.580 Well that's your problem.
00:22:24.580 Think for yourself.
00:22:28.580 Alright, I utilized a quick little edit there.
00:22:31.580 To just...
00:22:32.580 Get it busted down.
00:22:37.580 Mount a stunned Graagor.
00:22:41.580 Control.
00:22:44.580 Cool.
00:22:45.580 I have an idea.
00:22:46.580 What are you doing?
00:22:47.580 You can't break it.
00:22:49.580 No!
00:22:53.580 It's sickening.
00:22:58.580 No!
00:22:59.580 No!
00:23:00.580 No!
00:23:01.580 No!
00:23:02.580 No!
00:23:03.580 No!
00:23:04.580 No!
00:23:09.580 I had to retry.
00:23:11.580 I didn't see all of them.
00:23:12.580 Watch step four.
00:23:14.580 There is no more.
00:23:16.580 It should be dead.
00:23:17.580 You must have done it wrong.
00:23:19.580 I'm following your orders.
00:23:20.580 Well that's your problem.
00:23:22.580 Think about yourself.
00:23:24.580 Alright, we will retry.
00:23:25.580 I have an idea.
00:23:26.580 What are you doing?
00:23:27.580 You can't break it down!
00:23:28.580 No!
00:23:29.580 No!
00:23:30.580 No!
00:23:31.580 No!
00:23:32.580 No!
00:23:33.580 No!
00:23:34.580 No!
00:23:35.580 No!
00:23:36.580 No!
00:23:37.580 No!
00:23:38.580 No!
00:23:39.580 No!
00:23:40.580 No!
00:23:41.580 No!
00:23:42.580 No!
00:23:43.580 No!
00:23:44.580 No!
00:23:45.580 No!
00:23:46.580 No!
00:23:47.580 No!
00:23:48.580 No!
00:23:49.580 No!
00:23:50.580 No!
00:23:52.580 The elf of juiciness came to rescue us.
00:23:56.780 Grow can attack.
00:23:59.580 Okay cool.
00:24:09.580 Okay I might have done this wrong because I didn't know who I am.
00:24:15.580 I have to have done this wrong because I don't know why I am.
00:24:21.580 Okay, now!
00:24:26.580 Look at this fucking brutal hench guy.
00:24:35.580 They stand no chance.
00:24:43.580 Eat!
00:24:45.580 Look at that. He ate a guy.
00:24:57.580 That's been bugged.
00:25:09.580 Your life aims to sting at my blade.
00:25:12.580 Three!
00:25:14.580 Oh!
00:25:18.580 Alright, some intense gaming action right here.
00:25:21.580 Here.
00:25:23.580 I see.
00:25:25.580 It's a wee bit unusual to ride the ground.
00:25:30.580 Oh, but fuck, though.
00:25:31.580 Improvising, eh?
00:25:32.580 Alright, Captain.
00:25:33.580 That's it.
00:25:34.580 You should instinct.
00:25:38.580 Thompson.
00:25:39.580 Respect!
00:25:41.580 Training's over.
00:25:42.580 You've got guts.
00:25:43.580 Let's go spill some, eh?
00:25:48.580 Glorious.
00:25:52.580 Cool.
00:25:53.580 Cool.
00:25:54.580 Alright, that'll have to conclude this glorious episode.
00:25:56.580 And next time, we'll talk with the old frail lady again as his pet, I suppose.
00:26:02.580 And now it's about time for me to hit the gym.
00:26:06.580 And who am I?
00:26:08.580 I'm the captain of Gondor.
00:26:10.580 It's about time for one, one condor.
00:26:11.580 Extra Excel.
00:26:16.580 Boom!
00:26:20.480 Obrigado.
00:26:22.580 CarlLite.