The Golden One - March 01, 2015


Total War Attila. Geats Chapter 3


Episode Stats


Length

21 minutes

Words per minute

112.339294

Word count

2,368

Sentence count

478

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Toxicity

99

sentences flagged

Hate speech

13

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

A time of chaos and bloodshed outside of Kamulundum. You busted Franks must pay for their heinous crimes. For the glory of the Allfather, I thought the balance tower was enough for me to just go ahead and auto-resolve this battle.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Welcome back to a time of chaos and bloodshed. Now we're actually outside of Kamulundum.
00:00:18.840 You busted Franks. Must pay for their heinous crimes. So I'm going to start this episode by auto-resolving this battle.
00:00:32.520 For the glory of the Allfather, I thought the balance tower was enough for me to just go ahead and auto-resolve that in all actuality.
00:00:42.720 Okay. So we're not going to loot, we're not going to subjugate, we're not going to sack, we're going to occupy because we're trying to establish a foothold here in the British Isles.
00:00:54.160 And now, if you've been following me on my Twitch, I've started a Saxon campaign as well where we're basically doing not really the same thing because every campaign is highly unique.
00:01:06.040 But we tried to get a foothold in the British Isles. So, our Viking warriors, we have a level... Oh, look at how beautiful our wife is.
00:01:16.480 Greetings, Sigridor. She has a sick physique, according to legend. 1.00
00:01:23.500 So we're going to look at the skill set here.
00:01:26.940 Melee defense, 3 plus for infantry units. Brilliant.
00:01:30.360 Those no. Then we got hunter, food, 5 from characters. Yes, please.
00:01:41.320 So yeah, we are at default at war with the Londinium here, the rebel army.
00:01:48.360 So we're actually going to go ashore here.
00:01:52.920 And then I don't... No, we can't really go into Londinium with our ships.
00:01:59.320 Highly blasphemous. I wish we could, though, then we would have done it.
00:02:02.600 So we're going to take these two armies, and march to Londinium.
00:02:06.840 I'm going to level this one up as well.
00:02:11.700 I'm going to go with those, and here.
00:02:13.840 The Franks must be punished for their heinous crimes. 1.00
00:02:26.040 So... 0.94
00:02:26.600 Yeah, they could almost escape us there.
00:02:30.940 Hello, main.
00:02:32.800 And see there, they have raised the settlement.
00:02:36.860 We're actually going to take this battle, so you can all get a look at how the sea battles...
00:02:42.840 ...are looking in this.
00:02:47.520 So we've got...
00:02:48.400 Yeah, the sea snakes of Sigar against the Raiders of the Rowing Seas, Emelrich.
00:02:54.200 So I'm just going to try to steamroll them, but so you can get a glimpse of the...
00:02:59.000 ...the ocean.
00:03:00.780 Fog. 0.99
00:03:01.300 We're going to wait.
00:03:04.540 Dry.
00:03:05.260 Brilliant.
00:03:05.800 I want this to be graphically satisfying to us.
00:03:10.460 So, start battle.
00:03:12.840 Without further ado.
00:03:18.100 So, uh...
00:03:20.080 We'll basically just admire...
00:03:23.620 This is basically what I wanted to do here.
00:03:28.460 I wanted to make a cool picture right here.
00:03:32.260 Sickening.
00:03:36.520 Sickening. 1.00
00:03:37.520 SICK. 1.00
00:03:38.520 SICK. 0.99
00:03:39.020 So yeah, admire this. 0.99
00:03:40.520 Fwah.
00:03:41.520 This is glorious.
00:03:43.520 Oh well.
00:03:45.520 Oh well.
00:03:46.020 Ready for battle! 0.99
00:03:49.900 SICK. 1.00
00:03:50.780 SICK. 1.00
00:03:51.280 SICK. 1.00
00:03:51.780 SICK. 1.00
00:03:52.280 SICK. 0.99
00:03:52.780 One of our ships is being boarded! 0.64
00:03:54.420 SICK. 0.99
00:03:55.040 SICK. 1.00
00:03:55.540 SICK. 1.00
00:03:56.040 SICK. 1.00
00:03:56.540 SICK. 1.00
00:03:57.040 SICK. 1.00
00:03:57.540 SICK. 1.00
00:03:58.040 SICK. 1.00
00:03:58.540 SICK. 1.00
00:03:59.040 SICK. 1.00
00:03:59.540 SICK. 1.00
00:04:00.040 SICK. 1.00
00:04:00.540 SICK. 1.00
00:04:01.040 SICK. 1.00
00:04:01.540 SICK. 1.00
00:04:02.040 SICK. 1.00
00:04:02.540 SICK. 1.00
00:04:03.040 SICK. 1.00
00:04:03.540 SICK. 1.00
00:04:04.040 SICK. 1.00
00:04:04.540 SICK. 0.99
00:04:05.040 So, uh...
00:04:06.300 So yeah, that's basically how that looks in all actuality.
00:04:12.300 We will...
00:04:13.300 Can we do anything more?
00:04:16.300 Well, we can actually zoom into the action and see what crack is in this ship battle right
00:04:22.300 here.
00:04:23.300 Okay, so...
00:04:24.300 We will crush the enemy with our greater numbers! 0.99
00:04:27.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:28.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:29.300 SICK. 0.99
00:04:30.300 So they have... 0.99
00:04:31.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:32.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:33.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:34.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:35.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:36.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:37.300 SICK. 0.99
00:04:38.300 Not much of a...
00:04:39.300 battle there.
00:04:41.300 Oh, look at that!
00:04:42.300 One of our ships actually got owned.
00:04:44.300 We're gonna speed this up.
00:04:46.300 Uh...
00:04:47.300 Yes, we got a little glimpse of the...
00:04:49.300 Sea battle there. 0.95
00:04:51.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:52.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:53.300 SICK. 1.00
00:04:54.300 We're gonna swarm this... 0.93
00:04:56.300 This ship right here.
00:04:59.300 Boom. 0.99
00:05:00.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:01.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:02.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:03.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:04.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:05.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:06.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:07.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:08.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:09.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:10.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:11.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:12.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:13.300 SICK. 0.99
00:05:14.300 I think I prefer the sea battles in Rome though, where you can ram each other. 0.54
00:05:16.300 Here's more like the missile power and the boarding power.
00:05:21.300 But we're gonna take on warriors.
00:05:23.300 I think that's the most honorable thing to do. 0.96
00:05:26.300 SICK. 0.99
00:05:27.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:28.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:29.300 SICK. 1.00
00:05:30.300 SICK. 0.96
00:05:32.300 And then, since we are... 0.70
00:05:34.300 Vikings.
00:05:35.300 We're gonna look at the possibility of...
00:05:38.300 Oh, look at this!
00:05:41.300 The vandals have already claimed that settlement.
00:05:47.300 And here are more Franks. 0.98
00:05:49.300 How sickening. 0.99
00:05:51.300 Perhaps we can sack one of these settlements along the water. 0.87
00:05:58.000 So yeah, that's what we'll do.
00:05:59.540 We're gonna sail down and see what happens down here.
00:06:05.000 Now that we've claimed this settlement, let us make the most of it.
00:06:09.320 Gonna repair you.
00:06:14.560 No, we're not.
00:06:15.640 We're gonna convert it to...
00:06:18.640 Oh god, to a torp.
00:06:20.940 That's a Swedish word for a little farmlet, as it were.
00:06:24.680 Okay, so no, we're just gonna repair it instead then.
00:06:28.200 Repair you as well.
00:06:30.540 And...
00:06:30.740 Oh, jetty.
00:06:32.620 2,000 to repair that.
00:06:34.460 No, we're not gonna do that just yet.
00:06:38.560 We will instead...
00:06:40.820 See if we can race...
00:06:42.960 Can't do anything there.
00:06:45.720 Uh...
00:06:46.160 Well, we can build.
00:06:50.940 We can build something fun here instead.
00:06:53.560 Oh, look at that.
00:06:54.180 Village.
00:06:55.260 Yes, please.
00:06:55.680 And there we have spent all of our money.
00:06:57.660 Ready for orders.
00:07:01.100 Ready for battle.
00:07:02.100 All right, cool.
00:07:06.260 We're gonna take the turn and see what the crack is.
00:07:08.480 All right, look at that.
00:07:09.300 We have attrition.
00:07:12.900 Political gain?
00:07:14.000 How about this man?
00:07:15.480 Hungry for power.
00:07:16.320 Has positioned himself to take office without your approval.
00:07:19.340 He may be suited to the task, but can you afford to let this ambition threaten your family's power?
00:07:23.380 Or do nothing, I'd say.
00:07:27.240 Why wouldn't we?
00:07:28.460 Perhaps he is well-suited indeed.
00:07:33.480 Okay, cool.
00:07:34.680 So nothing really dramatic has happened.
00:07:36.800 We're gonna keep...
00:07:38.800 We're gonna keep...
00:07:40.180 Keep building thugs, as it were.
00:07:46.280 Rugion.
00:07:48.300 Village.
00:07:48.920 We're gonna go with that.
00:07:50.080 So a bit poorer now.
00:07:52.760 But we're trying to...
00:07:55.140 I see the youths are just coming over to England in great numbers.
00:07:59.580 And here we have Lindum.
00:08:01.280 Can we actually take that settlement?
00:08:04.280 Otherwise...
00:08:07.180 Londinium.
00:08:08.260 We want Londinium, obviously.
00:08:11.800 So what we're gonna do is...
00:08:15.880 Allow me to think for a moment, children, what I'm gonna do.
00:08:21.980 All right, so here's what we're gonna do.
00:08:24.920 This glorious army will take Lindum before the youths can...
00:08:29.020 We can take them.
00:08:30.100 Yes, let's...
00:08:32.680 Aha! 1.00
00:08:33.880 Fuck! 1.00
00:08:35.120 Their allies, Ebdanians. 1.00
00:08:37.340 And they have a huge army there.
00:08:39.660 So that's not what we're gonna do in all actuality.
00:08:42.240 So we're gonna take Londinium...
00:08:44.240 Directly.
00:08:48.880 Continue the siege.
00:08:50.560 Oh, true friends.
00:08:54.120 They will support them.
00:08:55.680 We'll see if we can take this.
00:09:01.820 We can in all actuality.
00:09:03.500 We can also resolve this.
00:09:08.900 Glory to the Allfather!
00:09:11.600 Now, Talos, I love you.
00:09:14.500 So we're gonna just occupy that.
00:09:18.440 Ah, Imperium.
00:09:22.300 How quaint.
00:09:24.600 Let's see.
00:09:24.920 Okay, they...
00:09:26.580 Ah, the Western Romans do not have anything here, actually. 1.00
00:09:30.240 But we're gonna keep those two armies here to...
00:09:32.440 You see, the public order is quite bad.
00:09:37.640 But I wanna fight in this episode.
00:09:39.980 Because...
00:09:40.900 So I can scream and shout a bit for my true friends who are watching this.
00:09:45.880 Alright, no.
00:09:46.340 I'm just gonna take the turn.
00:09:47.960 And see what the crack is next turn.
00:09:50.780 See if we can get anywhere with our...
00:09:53.580 That fleet you're seeing right now.
00:09:55.520 Would be cool to sack some place along the coast of France or Spain. 0.90
00:10:05.500 Oh, look.
00:10:06.340 There's the Franks also.
00:10:08.100 Trying to claim a new home since I took their lands from them.
00:10:13.800 But might makes right.
00:10:15.120 And I was the mightier in that case.
00:10:19.760 Alright, true friends.
00:10:20.560 Here's what we're gonna do.
00:10:22.560 The Blasphemous Vandals.
00:10:24.740 How dare they question my juiciness.
00:10:28.080 They're not very friendly with us at all.
00:10:31.040 Vandals.
00:10:31.760 Look there.
00:10:34.140 Unfriendly and deteriorating.
00:10:36.180 So we might as well declare war with them.
00:10:38.600 And they are not fond with our treaties with the Jews or the Saxons. 0.92
00:10:42.980 Religious aversion as well.
00:10:45.120 They have a lance, a military alliance.
00:10:51.240 That's cool.
00:10:52.200 That's fine.
00:10:53.500 So we're actually gonna go in there.
00:10:55.440 You can see here.
00:10:57.020 We can retrain.
00:11:01.540 We're gonna do that with everyone here.
00:11:07.420 Retrain and go into combat.
00:11:10.080 First, though, let us look at the possibility of...
00:11:14.000 Of researching a technology.
00:11:18.900 Standardized equipment.
00:11:20.120 And that sounds like a good plan indeed.
00:11:26.080 So we're gonna go in.
00:11:30.240 Allfather, I love you.
00:11:31.960 Now for the glory of the north.
00:11:40.340 I'm actually gonna take this battle to make this episode glorious.
00:11:46.620 Since I've auto-resolved to other battles, I'm gonna try to keep the auto-resolving to not a minimum, but so I at least show some of the glorious graphics and action in this game.
00:12:08.800 Dry.
00:12:13.140 Dry.
00:12:13.860 Start deployment.
00:12:15.760 So this...
00:12:17.320 Okay, now we got... 0.99
00:12:22.080 Perhaps it was a really stupid thing to... 0.96
00:12:26.360 To not have auto-resolved this. 0.98
00:12:28.980 To not have auto-resolved, actually.
00:12:33.400 Because...
00:12:33.760 They have towers, and the towers will shoot at us.
00:12:42.640 But we're gonna try either way.
00:12:44.740 To land and see what the crack is.
00:12:49.360 And I guess it's a bit more challenging also to...
00:12:53.600 To do it this way.
00:12:55.300 All right, true friends.
00:13:05.540 We are landing at the beach.
00:13:07.820 All right, let's storm the gates, true friends.
00:13:12.980 Get out of them, boys.
00:13:17.540 Oh, cool.
00:13:18.300 We managed to land there, at least.
00:13:25.300 I'm gonna try to take this tower.
00:13:33.020 And good god, I don't...
00:13:35.540 I don't really understand why it said the balance of power was so much in our favor when...
00:13:40.140 Ready for battle!
00:13:43.620 Now charge! 0.83
00:13:44.960 For the Allfather!
00:13:45.760 All right, see, the balance of power is not in our favor one bit,
00:13:50.080 because they have a garrisoned fortress, and we only have a few units.
00:14:01.380 Oh well, let's not despair.
00:14:06.580 All right, speed up the gameplay just a bit.
00:14:09.240 And we're looking to burn down this gate.
00:14:11.460 And for future reference, it was not a smart thing to do to try to auto-resolve this.
00:14:16.860 I would have...
00:14:18.600 To not have auto-resolved this.
00:14:20.100 I mean, I am...
00:14:22.460 In the future, I will probably take the battle if it isn't a walled settlement.
00:14:26.780 I didn't realize that.
00:14:28.900 It's silly of me, I know.
00:14:30.860 But either way, we're gonna try to break through these guys, and...
00:14:35.460 It's a Pyrrhic victory, if we even manage that, as it were.
00:14:41.420 All right, so fire damage, and the gateway is about to burst.
00:14:45.360 So now we're gonna charge in here, valiantly.
00:14:49.180 Ah, you see, we're just getting hammered out here, just being punished as...
00:14:53.900 Ah, this is not glorious one bit. 1.00
00:14:56.160 Fuck. 1.00
00:14:56.480 Come on then, gate. 1.00
00:14:57.940 Burn down for me. 0.92
00:15:05.460 Forward for the All-Father.
00:15:07.520 Okay, now then.
00:15:08.820 Fwa. 0.76
00:15:09.760 Myrin.
00:15:11.020 Glory to the All-Father.
00:15:12.780 Charge!
00:15:14.080 Ah, and look at that.
00:15:15.320 Total mayhem and total war.
00:15:17.960 Fwa. 0.76
00:15:18.660 Look at this.
00:15:20.000 Ah.
00:15:22.000 Now you're proud sons...
00:15:26.200 ...of the north. 1.00
00:15:30.320 Oh, fuck, look at that. 1.00
00:15:32.040 Sickening. 1.00
00:15:32.920 Sick fucking physique. 1.00
00:15:35.460 I'm gonna try to break these guys as soon as possible. 1.00
00:15:39.060 To get through. 1.00
00:15:41.020 Oh, fuck. 1.00
00:15:42.080 The power has been destroyed. 1.00
00:15:43.720 This boat's enemy troops have reached the walls.
00:15:46.940 That was worth the Pyrrhic victory, to just see that happen.
00:16:01.780 I thought about the possibility of...
00:16:04.320 ...of editing this battle away.
00:16:08.000 ...because it was so embarrassing to even have taken it, but...
00:16:12.600 ...the cool graphics makes it worthwhile.
00:16:16.000 Okay, break those busters, then. 0.95
00:16:20.180 Ready for battle.
00:16:21.560 Everyone on those.
00:16:23.620 Vandal Boa Marauders.
00:16:25.120 ...and now get in.
00:16:31.340 To the middle of the settlement.
00:16:34.060 And I think we have...
00:16:35.400 ...gotten all of their...
00:16:37.300 ...units.
00:16:38.440 Not quite certain.
00:16:40.180 We got...
00:16:40.720 ...we're still getting hammered by the...
00:16:42.580 ...their towers.
00:16:43.620 But...
00:16:44.140 ...really cool settlement, actually.
00:16:45.800 Look at these beautiful towers.
00:16:47.500 Uh...
00:16:47.940 ...amazing graphics as well.
00:16:50.280 Actually.
00:16:54.620 And our...
00:16:55.940 ...general is still alive.
00:16:58.340 Thank God.
00:17:02.080 Oh, and look at this.
00:17:04.540 The northern barbarians are storming into the... 0.93
00:17:08.000 ...to the old Roman settlement.
00:17:10.560 But then again, like, uh...
00:17:13.460 ...they will bleed for us. 1.00
00:17:15.540 Fuck. 1.00
00:17:16.780 Vandal Heavy Marauders. 1.00
00:17:19.000 That...
00:17:19.800 ...seems like...
00:17:21.560 ...a unit is running from the enemy!
00:17:27.320 Pretty cool to get around them in some way.
00:17:30.000 Now for the Allfather!
00:17:31.180 ...waters, withdraw!
00:17:36.220 Glory to the north. 0.99
00:17:37.800 Slay these insolent dobs. 1.00
00:17:40.560 All right, you can see the...
00:17:45.960 ...barbarian infighting.
00:17:47.240 Glorious graphics, though, I must...
00:17:49.200 ...I must say, actually.
00:17:52.700 Pro...
00:17:53.300 ...and...
00:17:58.020 ...now let's see.
00:18:02.720 All righty then, true friends.
00:18:05.960 End battle.
00:18:06.820 Pyrrhic victory.
00:18:07.640 Yes, indeed.
00:18:09.240 Um...
00:18:09.800 We lost half of our army.
00:18:13.040 I don't know...
00:18:15.200 ...why the...
00:18:16.200 ...the balance of power was so much in our favor...
00:18:18.440 ...when I could have auto-resolved it, because...
00:18:20.440 ...we only had double their armies...
00:18:23.160 ...and they defended it with a good set of towers...
00:18:27.200 ...and we also had to land.
00:18:28.880 So...
00:18:29.680 ...but it was a cool fight.
00:18:31.560 A really cool fight.
00:18:33.560 Um...
00:18:34.280 ...it's gonna occupy you.
00:18:38.160 And, uh...
00:18:39.520 ...yeah, it was...
00:18:40.220 ...good choice to not auto-resolve it.
00:18:43.000 Yes, I could show you that epic fight...
00:18:44.920 ...and the...
00:18:45.400 ...the tower just fell down and stuff.
00:18:47.240 Really, really awesome.
00:18:49.560 So...
00:18:50.160 ...butterdigala will be our little settlement there.
00:18:53.080 We're gonna try to...
00:18:54.080 ...hold on to it.
00:18:55.840 And you see it's a...
00:18:56.880 ...rather large settlement.
00:18:59.080 I'm gonna repair you.
00:19:01.260 Repair you.
00:19:02.540 And repair you.
00:19:04.060 And also repair you.
00:19:05.680 And we can upgrade his farmstead.
00:19:10.380 So, we made some good investments here now.
00:19:12.480 And you see our...
00:19:13.780 ...we get so, um...
00:19:15.660 ...diminished here.
00:19:17.860 But, uh...
00:19:18.400 ...will take a few turns to regain the composure there, as it were.
00:19:23.020 Um...
00:19:23.660 ...we go with you and...
00:19:27.660 ...you.
00:19:29.680 There were some new traditions, also.
00:19:35.680 Integrity is good.
00:19:40.420 And...
00:19:41.020 ...upkeep is...
00:19:42.320 No, we can't...
00:19:43.140 ...we can't choose the...
00:19:43.900 Okay, cool.
00:19:44.780 We're gonna go with those.
00:19:46.960 So, we've gained...
00:19:48.480 ...two settlements.
00:19:50.520 In all actuality.
00:19:52.920 Lontinium.
00:19:53.960 And...
00:19:54.520 ...Chamuludunum.
00:19:56.920 And we're not at war with these guys.
00:19:58.880 And they're allied to the Irish.
00:20:00.520 So...
00:20:00.960 And the Irish have a large army there.
00:20:02.340 So we're not gonna make any enemies right now.
00:20:04.700 So, yeah.
00:20:06.040 That will have to be...
00:20:06.920 ...today's glorious episode.
00:20:09.100 I hope you have...
00:20:10.160 ...enjoyed it.
00:20:12.580 And if you haven't...
00:20:13.760 ...checked out my...
00:20:14.840 ...Twitch...
00:20:15.760 ...yet...
00:20:16.300 ...I will link it below.
00:20:18.400 And I...
00:20:18.980 ...announce it on...
00:20:20.280 ...Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter...
00:20:22.240 ...when I will be Twitching.
00:20:24.000 It will be at least two times a week.
00:20:26.360 And I'll...
00:20:27.320 ...play Attila...
00:20:28.720 ...eh...
00:20:29.100 ...quite a bit with it.
00:20:30.240 In all actuality.
00:20:31.300 So, check out my...
00:20:32.700 ...Instagram, Facebook...
00:20:33.900 ...and Twitter, and...
00:20:35.240 ...I'll update you there.
00:20:36.720 Or you can go into Twitch...
00:20:38.120 ...and get a notification every time I go online.
00:20:41.500 But if you're checking out on Facebook...
00:20:42.960 ...I...
00:20:43.660 ...tried to announce it...
00:20:45.420 ...a good few hours in...
00:20:46.960 ...beforehand...
00:20:47.620 ...so you all get a chance to properly tune in.
00:20:50.300 And I usually stream for like...
00:20:51.620 ...eh...
00:20:52.120 ...two, three hours.
00:20:53.800 Something like that.
00:20:55.400 So, thank you so much for watching...
00:20:57.280 ...this episode.
00:20:57.940 ...I'm gonna hit the gym.
00:21:00.380 And who am I?
00:21:01.800 I'm the glorious son of the old father.
00:21:03.740 XXO.
00:21:04.520 Boom.