The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1005 - Hannibal Buress

00:00:08.000 Yes!

00:00:10.000 Hello, Hannibal.

00:00:11.000 What's up, man?

00:00:11.000 How are you, sir?

00:00:12.000 I'm good.

00:00:13.000 Good to see you.

00:00:13.000 Good to see you, too.

00:00:14.000 You have notes.

00:00:15.000 Yeah, I wanted to...

00:00:16.000 What's going on, man?

00:00:17.000 I had notes.

00:00:17.000 I just wanted to be prepared.

00:00:20.000 I've had notes other times, but I just didn't have them written down.

00:00:24.000 You know what I mean?

00:00:25.000 Oh, you had them like in your head?

00:00:26.000 I had them in my head, but I'm an older man now.

00:00:29.000 Is your mind starting to slip away?

00:00:32.000 My mind started to slip away, so I had some notes.

00:00:34.000 You're drinking Alphabrain and you got notes.

00:00:36.000 Yeah.

00:00:37.000 Dude, you're ready.

00:00:39.000 What's the notes?

00:00:40.000 What do you want to talk about?

00:00:41.000 What's going on?

00:00:42.000 Oh, we don't have to get right into it.

00:00:43.000 Let's get into it.

00:00:44.000 It's written down.

00:00:45.000 We can just flow naturally.

00:00:46.000 It was just more for, like, you know, sometimes if stuff lag or something, or if I feel like I don't have something right away, and then I'll, like, peek at it real quick.

00:00:58.000 Right.

00:00:59.000 Okay.

00:01:00.000 But right now we're fresh.

00:01:01.000 Oh, we're fresh.

00:01:02.000 We're okay.

00:01:03.000 Good to see you, too, man.

00:01:03.000 Yeah.

00:01:04.000 Sorry about Monday.

00:01:05.000 Oh, no worries, man. 1.00

00:01:06.000 Shit happens. 1.00

00:01:07.000 I just did not... 1.00

00:01:08.000 I was still in New York.

00:01:09.000 I had booked my flight in the morning, and I just could not go.

00:01:15.000 You just couldn't do it?

00:01:16.000 Why?

00:01:17.000 I don't know.

00:01:17.000 You were too tired?

00:01:18.000 It wasn't just a tight...

00:01:19.000 It was just more of a...

00:01:21.000 Just didn't feel like going?

00:01:22.000 Yeah, it was the five-hour thing.

00:01:26.000 And I did it today, actually.

00:01:27.000 I flew in today.

00:01:29.000 But it was just that...

00:01:30.000 Sometimes you just don't want to do it.

00:01:31.000 It was just that flight.

00:01:33.000 I was like, oof.

00:01:33.000 I don't know if I could...

00:01:34.000 That's the beautiful thing about being a young, successful, single man. 0.99

00:01:38.000 You could do whatever the fuck you want to do. 0.88

00:01:40.000 It was, uh, yeah. 0.96

00:01:42.000 Yeah.

00:01:43.000 But I'm excited to be back.

00:01:45.000 Got weird last time.

00:01:47.000 Oh, here?

00:01:48.000 Yeah.

00:01:49.000 Oh, the last time was the Sam Harris one, right?

00:01:51.000 That's been a year?

00:01:52.000 Oh, yeah.

00:01:53.000 That's right.

00:01:54.000 Yeah, that did get a little weird.

00:01:56.000 Hey, alcohol. 1.00

00:01:57.000 Alcohol is a motherfucker. 1.00

00:01:59.000 It's amazing it's legal. 1.00

00:02:00.000 It is.

00:02:01.000 It's amazing it's legal.

00:02:02.000 Well, also, it was just, yeah, I should have went to the comedy store.

00:02:09.000 Which I still did do.

00:02:10.000 You did a terrible set.

00:02:12.000 Did you?

00:02:15.000 Well, we got drunk.

00:02:16.000 A terrible set.

00:02:16.000 We did a podcast and got drunk, and then you hung around for the second podcast.

00:02:21.000 Yeah.

00:02:22.000 Well, you said sit in, and I was like, yeah, sure, sit in.

00:02:25.000 Yeah.

00:02:25.000 It was Sam Harrison.

00:02:26.000 Who else was it?

00:02:27.000 It was the guy whose podcast it is.

00:02:31.000 Oh, Josh Zeps.

00:02:32.000 Josh Zeps. 0.99

00:02:33.000 He fucking loved it. 0.99

00:02:35.000 Of course, he got a crazy buzz. 0.99

00:02:36.000 Yeah, he loved the controversy, but it was kind of gross.

00:02:39.000 Even though I loved Josh, you could see it while I was going on that he loved it.

00:02:42.000 Really?

00:02:42.000 Yes, yes, yes.

00:02:44.000 Yes.

00:02:44.000 He enjoyed it.

00:02:46.000 Well, you were teasing it out, too.

00:02:48.000 Because I started getting messages, what is this crazy Hannibal, Sam Harris? 0.99

00:02:53.000 And so I'm like, what the fuck is going on? 0.99

00:02:54.000 Because I knew once I left, I was like, yeah, that's going to be some weird shit. 0.99

00:02:58.000 And then I was fine with it. 0.96

00:02:59.000 But then I kept on getting messages like, what is this?

00:03:02.000 When is that coming out?

00:03:03.000 Well, everybody saw it live, didn't they?

00:03:04.000 No, they didn't.

00:03:05.000 It was not a live thing.

00:03:06.000 That's right, because it was Josh Zep's podcast.

00:03:08.000 It wasn't mine.

00:03:09.000 Yeah.

00:03:09.000 Oh, that's right, yeah.

00:03:12.000 Fun times.

00:03:13.000 Yeah, it was a fun time. 0.99

00:03:15.000 Well, last time Zeps was here, he was talking about killing babies. 0.97

00:03:18.000 Really? 0.98

00:03:19.000 Remember that?

00:03:19.000 Yeah, he was talking about, like, maybe you should be able to abort a baby six months after it's born.

00:03:23.000 I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, man? 0.99

00:03:25.000 See, did he have notes? 0.99

00:03:26.000 No, no notes.

00:03:28.000 See, that's what happened.

00:03:29.000 He wasn't prepared. 0.99

00:03:30.000 When you don't have no notes, you're like, yeah, let's kill alive babies. 0.99

00:03:32.000 Right? 0.99

00:03:33.000 Let's talk about it. 0.98

00:03:34.000 Gay dudes feel very differently about babies. 1.00

00:03:38.000 Like, they can't make them. 0.99

00:03:39.000 As long as they're doing only gay things. 0.93

00:03:41.000 There's no babies being made, so they're like, so detached from the idea of a baby.

00:03:46.000 Do you think that's... 0.58

00:03:48.000 You think that's what he's like to kill him?

00:03:50.000 No, I don't. 0.88

00:03:51.000 No. 1.00

00:03:51.000 I'm just talking shit. 1.00

00:03:52.000 Did he have strong points? 1.00

00:03:54.000 No.

00:03:55.000 No, they were terrible.

00:03:56.000 Straight up killed a six-month-old baby?

00:03:59.000 He was just being controversial.

00:04:01.000 Okay.

00:04:02.000 I think he enjoys controversy.

00:04:04.000 Yeah.

00:04:05.000 Clickbait.

00:04:06.000 Hey, if you're not a comedian, that's a good way to get attention.

00:04:09.000 Yeah, get a clickbait.

00:04:10.000 What else do you have?

00:04:11.000 I mean, everybody can have a good point.

00:04:13.000 Right.

00:04:14.000 But can you yell about it?

00:04:16.000 Yeah.

00:04:17.000 Can you make a meme about it?

00:04:18.000 I mean, our whole society, our news runs on clickbait now.

00:04:23.000 It's getting more and more slippery.

00:04:26.000 Me and my friends, we call everything fake news now.

00:04:29.000 Call each other fake news.

00:04:30.000 I'm going back and forth with Ari and Bert and Tom Segura.

00:04:34.000 Because they wrote some article about Burt Kreischer.

00:04:37.000 And Burt is going to swear off a booze for 90 days.

00:04:41.000 Yeah.

00:04:42.000 This is the new bet.

00:04:43.000 He's going to run a marathon and swear off booze for 90 days.

00:04:47.000 Okay.

00:04:47.000 I don't believe it.

00:04:48.000 Where's he at now?

00:04:49.000 Has he started yet?

00:04:50.000 No!

00:04:50.000 He gets drunk every day.

00:04:51.000 That's the point.

00:04:52.000 I'm like, you're going to die like Amy Winehouse.

00:04:54.000 That's how Amy Winehouse died. 0.98

00:04:55.000 You told him that?

00:04:56.000 Yeah, that's what I said.

00:04:57.000 Oh, man, that's rough.

00:04:58.000 You got to be honest with your friends.

00:05:01.000 That hard?

00:05:02.000 You're going to die like Amy Winehouse?

00:05:04.000 I said, if you just go cold turkey.

00:05:05.000 I told him to lay off.

00:05:06.000 I go, you got to wean off the booze.

00:05:08.000 No, that's heroin you die like that.

00:05:10.000 No, no, no, no, no, no. 1.00

00:05:11.000 Heroin, you just get the shakes and you feel like shit. 0.99

00:05:14.000 But heroin, you can live. 0.99

00:05:16.000 Booze is one of the rare drugs that will kill you if you drop it cold turkey if you're an alcoholic.

00:05:23.000 But do you think...

00:05:25.000 I think there's a difference between heavy drinker and alcoholic.

00:05:29.000 Oh, well, yeah.

00:05:30.000 Casual boozer.

00:05:32.000 Maybe if you have two or three drinks at night and then you quit cold turkey, you'll be fine.

00:05:37.000 But if you're one of those all-day drinkers and then you quit cold turkey, you will die.

00:05:42.000 It's very common.

00:05:44.000 It's one of the more common drugs that you die.

00:05:46.000 I think there's...

00:05:48.000 There's, like, benzos.

00:05:51.000 Those will kill you from withdrawal.

00:05:54.000 There's a few different pharmaceuticals that'll kill you from withdrawal.

00:05:57.000 But I don't believe heroin's on that list.

00:05:59.000 I think it's very rare that people die from heroin withdrawal.

00:06:02.000 What?

00:06:03.000 Yeah, they get really sick.

00:06:04.000 Oh! 0.60

00:06:05.000 Yeah.

00:06:06.000 You know who Carl Hart is?

00:06:07.000 Dr. Carl Hart?

00:06:08.000 No.

00:06:08.000 The famous doctor who is- But I trust all doctors with just two syllables and their full name.

00:06:14.000 Well, he's got dreadlocks.

00:06:15.000 He trusted me more.

00:06:16.000 He's cool.

00:06:17.000 But he's a very, very interesting doctor because he talks about drug use and drug with- He's like, first of all, one of the things that he points out is like, I'll just talk about a drug-free society.

00:06:29.000 He's like, there's never been one.

00:06:30.000 He goes, there's never been one.

00:06:31.000 There's never been a drug-free, and you don't- nor do you want it.

00:06:34.000 He goes, when it comes to whether it's caffeine or alcohol and then pharmaceutical drugs, things that help people.

00:06:39.000 He's like, we have this, like, we decide to demonize certain drugs.

00:06:43.000 Yeah.

00:06:43.000 And he's like, the drugs you got to be worried about, like, alcohol is one of the scariest ones.

00:06:47.000 Because if you quit cold turkey, if you're a hardcore drinker and you're drinking all the time, you'll fucking die. 0.96

00:06:54.000 Well, maybe cough syrup to win yourself off or something like that? 0.99

00:06:58.000 Something light?

00:07:00.000 I don't think it helps.

00:07:01.000 I don't think it activates the same part of your brain.

00:07:05.000 I was talking to this photographer.

00:07:08.000 I was at this festival this weekend.

00:07:10.000 And she had a film camera.

00:07:14.000 Do you develop your own film?

00:07:15.000 She said, oh no, you can only develop black and white.

00:07:18.000 Because if you develop your own color pictures, the fumes will knock you right out.

00:07:24.000 And so I said, so just a little bit of that would be a great time.

00:07:29.000 Just a small...

00:07:31.000 So just get a little bit of that, and you can just...

00:07:34.000 Like huff and paint. 0.99

00:07:35.000 Yeah, you can do a goddamn job interview. 1.00

00:07:37.000 And nail it. 1.00

00:07:38.000 Maybe.

00:07:38.000 Just a little bit.

00:07:39.000 A smidgen.

00:07:41.000 Just a touch.

00:07:41.000 Just like crack a vial in front of your nose.

00:07:43.000 Like a micro dose of a little bit of that.

00:07:46.000 Have you ever tried poppers?

00:07:47.000 Do you know what poppers are?

00:07:48.000 Those are those things where they crack them...

00:07:50.000 And they sniff it?

00:07:51.000 A male nitrate, I think it's called?

00:07:53.000 No.

00:07:54.000 I did whippers in college.

00:07:55.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:56.000 I did that when I worked at a creamery.

00:07:58.000 I worked at Newport Creamery.

00:07:59.000 It was like an ice cream place.

00:08:00.000 And they had the ice cream, those big vats of that...

00:08:05.000 What is the gas?

00:08:07.000 Nitrous oxide?

00:08:07.000 Nitrous oxide, right?

00:08:08.000 Yeah.

00:08:08.000 That's what it is, yeah.

00:08:09.000 And we would do...

00:08:11.000 Yeah.

00:08:12.000 Take, like, socks off of it.

00:08:14.000 That kills a lot of brain cells.

00:08:15.000 A lot!

00:08:16.000 Yeah.

00:08:17.000 That kills a lot of brain cells.

00:08:19.000 I remember I did it one weekend in college, and then I think I did it on a Friday night.

00:08:22.000 And on a Sunday, I was just walking around.

00:08:25.000 I was just yelling all weird.

00:08:27.000 I don't know if I was forcing a yell just because I was trying to justify how I felt or if it was a natural yell, but yelling was happening.

00:08:35.000 Wow.

00:08:35.000 Yeah.

00:08:36.000 And you couldn't help it?

00:08:37.000 I don't know.

00:08:38.000 You ever just tweak out by yourself just to...

00:08:41.000 You never just...

00:08:43.000 You absolutely do.

00:08:45.000 After like a crazy workout, you're like...

00:08:47.000 After a workout, I'm usually spent.

00:08:50.000 Well, people just tweak out.

00:08:52.000 Like how you do like a flex.

00:08:55.000 Connor at the weigh-in was just tweaking out, but it was for show.

00:08:59.000 Sometimes you put a show for yourself.

00:09:01.000 Right.

00:09:01.000 Change your state of mind.

00:09:03.000 Just by yourself.

00:09:05.000 Yeah, like people say if you smile, it'll change your mind, right?

00:09:08.000 It'll change the way your brain actually feels.

00:09:10.000 Well, if you freak out, it probably does that too, right?

00:09:13.000 Yeah.

00:09:14.000 Definitely.

00:09:14.000 There's ways to do it.

00:09:15.000 I mean, why else would Indians, like Native Americans, when they do those battle cries, why else are they doing that?

00:09:21.000 They're getting fired up.

00:09:22.000 Yeah, you get hyped up by yelling or singing a song.

00:09:25.000 Viking.

00:09:26.000 Yeah, the haka.

00:09:26.000 Is that New Zealand?

00:09:28.000 Yeah.

00:09:28.000 Right?

00:09:29.000 Yeah.

00:09:30.000 It is New Zealand, isn't it?

00:09:31.000 Yeah.

00:09:32.000 Yeah, well, it's this video of them playing the USA team.

00:09:38.000 Oh, yeah.

00:09:39.000 And they're doing this elaborate...

00:09:42.000 They're doing...

00:09:43.000 It's very elaborate and just energetic.

00:09:46.000 And they cut to the USA team and they're kind of looking back.

00:09:50.000 Kind of just...

00:09:52.000 Not confused, but just what's going on.

00:09:54.000 And they went through this whole thing.

00:09:56.000 It's this right here.

00:09:56.000 Yeah.

00:09:57.000 They did it in a basketball game?

00:09:58.000 Yeah, in a basketball game.

00:09:59.000 Give me some volume. 0.97

00:10:00.000 This is ridiculous. 0.95

00:10:01.000 You're playing basketball. 0.98

00:10:04.000 And it was like, yo, y'all about to get dusted by 45 points.

00:10:08.000 Yeah, what...

00:10:10.000 Look at this. 1.00

00:10:11.000 You're playing NBA superstars, you fucking dummies. 1.00

00:10:14.000 But it's just for the culture. 1.00

00:10:16.000 That's what they do all the time, but it's...

00:10:19.000 But it's just, it seems so... 1.00

00:10:22.000 Stupid. 1.00

00:10:23.000 Not, well... 1.00

00:10:24.000 It seems stupid. 0.99

00:10:25.000 If you... 1.00

00:10:26.000 If you're playing basketball, it's stupid. 1.00

00:10:29.000 No, I think if you... 1.00

00:10:31.000 It's a performance art.

00:10:32.000 Like, the other players clapped.

00:10:34.000 The Americans clapped.

00:10:36.000 They're like, good job, children.

00:10:38.000 That was...

00:10:38.000 And then that game, what was the final score of that game?

00:10:41.000 100 million to zero?

00:10:42.000 Is that what it was?

00:10:43.000 It's just weird if you do all of that and then... 1.00

00:10:45.000 Get your ass kicked. 1.00

00:10:46.000 Get dusted. 1.00

00:10:47.000 Get stomped.

00:10:49.000 That is one of the most unfair things ever, that they let NBA superstars play in the Olympics. 1.00

00:10:54.000 That is so fucked up. 0.99

00:10:55.000 That was in our country. 1.00

00:10:56.000 That's from our country. 1.00

00:10:57.000 But it's so fucked up. 1.00

00:10:59.000 It's so fucked up. 1.00

00:11:00.000 It's like, look, Andre Ward was an Olympic gold medalist, but if you let him box in the Olympics right now, it would be so fucked up. 1.00

00:11:07.000 It's just wrong. 0.98

00:11:09.000 Well...

00:11:11.000 It's just way better now.

00:11:12.000 The Boxing Olympics, they...

00:11:14.000 They don't love professionals.

00:11:16.000 Is it an age cap to it?

00:11:17.000 No.

00:11:18.000 I don't think they allow professionals.

00:11:20.000 Although that whole professional, non-professional thing is very weird now.

00:11:25.000 Especially now that they let NBA players play.

00:11:28.000 There was always talk of that.

00:11:30.000 When they were talking about doing that, it was back when Mike Tyson was a champ. 0.99

00:11:33.000 They were like, what the fuck? 0.98

00:11:34.000 What if you let Mike Tyson box the Olympics? 0.99

00:11:36.000 Good luck!

00:11:38.000 Well, the players from the other teams are pros, too.

00:11:42.000 Yeah.

00:11:42.000 I mean, the other countries.

00:11:45.000 Well, Spain has some solid players, and some of them are NBA players.

00:11:48.000 Paul Gasol, Marc Gasol, Rudy Gonzalez, a couple other players that played in the NBA. Australia actually put up a decent team.

00:11:57.000 They got Bogut.

00:11:59.000 Maybe Patty Mills. 1.00

00:12:00.000 I might be fucking at it. 0.98

00:12:01.000 But they have a handful of... 0.98

00:12:02.000 There's a handful of pros from other countries and in those pro leagues that have been competitive against the...

00:12:09.000 But not those guys.

00:12:10.000 But there's pros, and then there's American pros.

00:12:14.000 Sure.

00:12:14.000 When it comes to basketball, there's no competition.

00:12:17.000 It's kind of a joke, isn't it?

00:12:19.000 It's getting close.

00:12:19.000 It was for a second, for a little bit.

00:12:22.000 It's getting close.

00:12:23.000 Spain has some guys.

00:12:25.000 And Spain has a bunch of guys in the league.

00:12:27.000 So when Spain plays the USA, it's basically like some NBA players playing against other NBA players.

00:12:35.000 You know what I mean?

00:12:36.000 Versus random dudes.

00:12:38.000 Instead of it being random dudes from Spain.

00:12:40.000 It's actually, you know, they might be playing.

00:12:43.000 One of the guys on the USA might be playing against one of their real NBA teammates.

00:12:49.000 Interesting.

00:12:49.000 Yeah.

00:12:50.000 The rules are a little different, too, in international basketball.

00:12:53.000 What's the difference?

00:12:54.000 For instance, you can goaltend, but once the ball hits the rim, you can swat it off in the NBA. In All-American basketball, pretty much, you can't even touch the ball if it's anywhere close to the rim or above it.

00:13:05.000 That's a whole extra rule.

00:13:07.000 If you're seven foot tall, you can just snatch the ball every time it gets near the rim, basically. 0.97

00:13:11.000 There's a couple other little small ones, too, like bumping and shit. 0.89

00:13:14.000 It's interesting how other countries used to be... 0.98

00:13:18.000 Non-competitive in certain sports.

00:13:20.000 Boxing is a perfect example.

00:13:22.000 For the longest time, the American boxers were head and shoulders above the rest of the world.

00:13:26.000 Did it?

00:13:27.000 Yeah, especially in the heavyweight division.

00:13:29.000 It wasn't even close.

00:13:30.000 There was Henry Cooper, who hurt Muhammad Ali real bad.

00:13:34.000 That was an interesting story.

00:13:36.000 This is back when Muhammad Ali was still Cassius Clay, before he became Muhammad Ali.

00:13:41.000 And Henry Cooper was like the big English heavyweight.

00:13:44.000 And he rocked Muhammad Ali with a left hook.

00:13:47.000 And you know what Angelo Dundee did?

00:13:48.000 He cut Muhammad Ali's gloves.

00:13:50.000 He went back to the corner, and he just sliced his gloves.

00:13:53.000 He's like, hey, we gotta change these gloves. 0.99

00:13:55.000 These gloves are fucked up. 0.99

00:13:56.000 So they bought him all this time. 1.00

00:13:58.000 They had to undo the tape. 1.00

00:14:00.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:14:01.000 Yeah, they had to undo the tape, get another pair of gloves. 1.00

00:14:04.000 Like, they cut his fucking gloves. 0.99

00:14:06.000 Because that's the type of tricks you could do in the 60s. 1.00

00:14:09.000 Yeah.

00:14:10.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:14:11.000 Yeah, that's what they did.

00:14:12.000 But if you ever see the fight, he got cracked.

00:14:15.000 Like, more than he ever got cracked in his entire career.

00:14:18.000 Google Henry Cooper rocks Muhammad Ali.

00:14:23.000 And so Muhammad Ali, it wasn't Muhammad Ali, it was Cassius Clay back then.

00:14:26.000 So he drops him with like the perfect left hook.

00:14:29.000 That was his big punch too. 0.99

00:14:30.000 And Ali just crashes down to his ass and he's like out. 0.99

00:14:34.000 And they gave him all sorts of time. 0.99

00:14:36.000 He went back to the corner, they cut the gloves, they took the gloves off, then he went back and...

00:14:40.000 He got new gloves?

00:14:42.000 They had to.

00:14:43.000 They sliced his gloves open with a razor blade.

00:14:46.000 They just sliced them.

00:14:48.000 So this is about 10 minutes?

00:14:51.000 This is a lot of time.

00:14:52.000 A lot of time.

00:14:53.000 A lot of time.

00:14:53.000 Because they had to get gloves.

00:14:55.000 You know, they don't have gloves just waiting.

00:14:57.000 What was, uh, I wonder what the commentator's stall game was like back then.

00:15:00.000 You can see it right here.

00:15:01.000 Were these guys used to stalling like that?

00:15:03.000 It's right here.

00:15:04.000 Boom! 0.99

00:15:05.000 Ooh! 1.00

00:15:06.000 Yeah, like, he is fucking out. 0.99

00:15:09.000 I mean, he is rocked. 0.99

00:15:11.000 And it's the very end of the round.

00:15:13.000 The very end of the round.

00:15:14.000 So they sit him down.

00:15:15.000 Boom! 0.99

00:15:16.000 I mean, that was a perfect left hook. 0.99

00:15:17.000 He just got sat down.

00:15:19.000 He's in deep trouble.

00:15:21.000 So there's two things happen.

00:15:22.000 One, it's the end of the round.

00:15:24.000 See, he's like really out of it here.

00:15:26.000 Yeah, they're throwing water on him.

00:15:28.000 And then when they go back, they're like, oh, you know.

00:15:31.000 Oh, so they cut it out of this.

00:15:33.000 They don't show him the clip.

00:15:34.000 They change the gloves.

00:15:36.000 So he's super fresh here.

00:15:38.000 And he wound up stopping Henry Cooper by cuts.

00:15:42.000 See if there's a clip of the glove change in part.

00:15:45.000 Yeah.

00:15:46.000 That's funny.

00:15:47.000 It's like, this is Mike Tyson's old trainer, not old trainer, but old manager.

00:15:52.000 Goddammit, I forget his name.

00:15:54.000 But he was a boxing historian, and he put together all of these videos.

00:16:00.000 And he used to do the voiceover for a lot of these videos, too.

00:16:04.000 Like, right when Customato died, him and Shelly Finkel took over. 0.99

00:16:09.000 Goddammit, what the fuck is his name? 0.99

00:16:11.000 Mike Tyson's old manager. 0.99

00:16:14.000 What do you got there?

00:16:16.000 Pulling up?

00:16:19.000 Nope.

00:16:20.000 Nope.

00:16:20.000 It was an old Jewish guy.

00:16:23.000 Forget his name.

00:16:24.000 But he had a tremendous library of films.

00:16:28.000 Yeah.

00:16:29.000 And it's one of the things that Mike Tyson used to go and watch, you know, obviously we're talking about the early 80s.

00:16:35.000 So this is before VHS tapes.

00:16:38.000 I mean, those things weren't on VHS tapes.

00:16:41.000 So he would watch them on like 16mm.

00:16:44.000 Actual film?

00:16:44.000 Yeah.

00:16:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:46.000 Damn. 1.00

00:16:47.000 Goddamn it. 1.00

00:16:47.000 I'm struggling to remember his fucking name. 1.00

00:16:49.000 It's driving me crazy. 1.00

00:16:50.000 Something with a J. Anyway, point being, he probably edited that out.

00:16:58.000 They didn't want to show the controversy because it was plain, straight cheating.

00:17:05.000 They just cheated.

00:17:06.000 I want to hear what the commentators did during that stall.

00:17:10.000 That's a good point.

00:17:11.000 We don't know what's going on.

00:17:13.000 Did they just veer off into other talks?

00:17:16.000 Sometimes how baseball commentators just start talking about some... 0.99

00:17:21.000 Weird, random shit about their family and cars when it's downtime. 0.98

00:17:26.000 You know, I went out fishing this weekend. 0.99

00:17:29.000 That lake is great, man.

00:17:31.000 The mosquitoes get to you, but hey, okay, yeah.

00:17:35.000 High and away.

00:17:36.000 Yeah, baseball players, that's an art to that, right?

00:17:38.000 Because there's so much downtime.

00:17:39.000 Yeah, it's...

00:17:40.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:17:42.000 It's so much downtime.

00:17:43.000 I was watching one clip...

00:17:45.000 I forget what team it was, but it was somebody at bat, and then one of his teammates was just exactly mocking his, just imitating his batting style and ritual, just from every little nuance to just what he would do with his left foot,

00:18:04.000 and then he was doing that for all his teammates.

00:18:07.000 Because you got so much down time.

00:18:08.000 Right.

00:18:09.000 And you're around them 162 games and plus practice.

00:18:15.000 So you're like, yeah, I know exactly all of your moves.

00:18:18.000 All your mannerisms.

00:18:19.000 Exactly.

00:18:20.000 Every one of your mannerisms down to the eye twitch.

00:18:22.000 My high school wrestling coach refused to call baseball sport.

00:18:26.000 He's like, it's not a sport.

00:18:28.000 It's a skills game.

00:18:29.000 It's a skills game.

00:18:31.000 But you do have to run.

00:18:33.000 You have to run.

00:18:34.000 There's...

00:18:35.000 It's not my favorite sport, but I respect it a lot.

00:18:42.000 You know who Javi Baez is from the Cubs?

00:18:46.000 I don't know anybody who's playing baseball.

00:18:47.000 Unless they get arrested.

00:18:49.000 That's a lot of people. 1.00

00:18:50.000 You gotta be arrested or you gotta fuck J-Lo. 1.00

00:18:52.000 That's how a lot of people find out. 1.00

00:18:54.000 Javi Baez!

00:18:56.000 Is one of the best defenders in the league.

00:18:57.000 Makes incredible plays.

00:19:02.000 That's athletics.

00:19:03.000 Oh, for sure.

00:19:04.000 Yeah, it's a lot of skill involved, but it's definitely athletes, I think.

00:19:11.000 Yeah, they are, but there's a big difference between that and, say, basketball.

00:19:15.000 You have to be in some extreme cardio to play basketball. 0.87

00:19:18.000 You're running back and forth and back and forth, and those guys are always sore after games, and they got fucking plantar fasciitis and shoulder issues. 0.92

00:19:27.000 Yeah, it's constant activity. 0.91

00:19:29.000 You can be in left field a couple innings and not do anything, just chilling out there with your own thoughts. 0.99

00:19:39.000 Talking to the fans and shit. 0.99

00:19:40.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:19:41.000 Yeah, it's none of that in basketball.

00:19:43.000 Just standing around.

00:19:44.000 Except for doing free throws or downtime.

00:19:47.000 But baseball players might go.

00:19:49.000 Especially if the pitch is killing it.

00:19:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:51.000 You just get into your fucking stands half-heartedly. 1.00

00:19:55.000 But you know it might not be coming out there. 1.00

00:19:57.000 Just...

00:19:58.000 That's the other thing about baseball.

00:19:59.000 The fans will torture you.

00:20:01.000 If you're sitting out there.

00:20:02.000 Oh yeah, that's a long time to be out there.

00:20:04.000 They torture you.

00:20:04.000 Especially on an away game.

00:20:06.000 Plus they're drinking.

00:20:06.000 There's 18 minutes of action in your average Major League Baseball game.

00:20:10.000 Wow.

00:20:12.000 That's like less than one fight.

00:20:15.000 You know?

00:20:17.000 18 minutes of action.

00:20:18.000 That's like one championship fight or less than, yeah, less than one championship fight or basically one three-round fight, which is 15 minutes of action.

00:20:29.000 It's crazy. 0.99

00:20:30.000 We act like we made a big discovery and shit. 1.00

00:20:32.000 Yo, baseball boring, yo. 1.00

00:20:34.000 We did it. 0.97

00:20:35.000 Well, baseball is one of those games, like if you try to invent it today, they'd be like, get the fuck away from here with that. 1.00

00:20:40.000 In this day and age, that shit is definitely old school. 0.99

00:20:43.000 But the other thing about that 18 minutes of action... 0.99

00:20:46.000 That's not even action of everybody.

00:20:49.000 That's not everybody moving at once, like a football game or basketball.

00:20:54.000 That's maybe three or four people moving around.

00:20:57.000 Maybe.

00:20:59.000 Sometimes it's usually two.

00:21:00.000 If you turn on a double play, then there's a handful of people involved in it.

00:21:05.000 It's a pretty chill. 1.00

00:21:06.000 Boring fucking game. 1.00

00:21:07.000 I get paid a lot. 1.00

00:21:09.000 A lot of games.

00:21:10.000 It's crazy how much money is involved in it.

00:21:13.000 People like it, man.

00:21:14.000 But it's gone to Japan.

00:21:17.000 What other countries adopted baseball?

00:21:20.000 Adopted it?

00:21:21.000 Took it on.

00:21:22.000 It was super popular in Japan.

00:21:23.000 I know Cuba.

00:21:25.000 Cuba, right?

00:21:26.000 Maybe Mexico.

00:21:27.000 Mexico?

00:21:28.000 Really?

00:21:28.000 I don't know.

00:21:30.000 Korea? 0.70

00:21:32.000 I'm just saying stuff.

00:21:33.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:21:34.000 Just guess it.

00:21:35.000 It's amazing how little interest people here have for soccer.

00:21:39.000 That's what's really amazing. 0.98

00:21:40.000 When you say soccer worldwide, and you see how little we give a fuck about it here. 1.00

00:21:46.000 Except those annoying white dudes That like to get really hyped up about it when the World Cup comes around and they scream and yell at bars like they really give a fuck. 0.99

00:21:56.000 There's reportedly growing belief that Bryce Harper's next contract could be worth over 400 million dollars. 0.99

00:22:06.000 I could imagine...

00:22:08.000 Jesus.

00:22:09.000 ...just that type of scrutiny and attention on my finances like that.

00:22:18.000 Right.

00:22:18.000 There's expectation.

00:22:19.000 This is not even...

00:22:21.000 Not the contract is set yet, but when people are talking about what you might make...

00:22:28.000 So much money.

00:22:28.000 It's a lot of money.

00:22:29.000 It's too much money.

00:22:30.000 It's too much money to be resting over your head.

00:22:33.000 You think 400 is too well?

00:22:34.000 Say it's about...

00:22:36.000 I don't know.

00:22:37.000 I mean, it depends on what state he lives in, how much money it actually is.

00:22:41.000 Well, it becomes a thing, like with Floyd Mayweather, you know?

00:22:45.000 Like, a big thing about Floyd Mayweather is how much money he makes.

00:22:48.000 It's not just that he's a great boxer.

00:22:51.000 It's that he's gonna make 300 million dollars!

00:22:53.000 Apparently it's going to be even more than that.

00:22:55.000 Did you see the pay-per-view numbers?

00:22:56.000 They're talking about 6.5 million pay-per-view buys.

00:23:01.000 Wow.

00:23:01.000 So it's more than 2 million more than the Manny Pacquiao fight.

00:23:05.000 That's insane.

00:23:06.000 Does that include the potential refunds?

00:23:08.000 That's a good question.

00:23:10.000 Well, to be fair, he did nickname himself Money Mayweather.

00:23:14.000 Well, he did after he was Pretty Boy Floyd.

00:23:16.000 He changed it.

00:23:17.000 But yeah, then he built a persona around I spend money.

00:23:21.000 He doesn't have to do...

00:23:23.000 I mean, it's cool and good for him.

00:23:25.000 But he did make a big thing about spending money.

00:23:28.000 That one time he showed a...

00:23:31.000 Like a hundred million dollar check.

00:23:33.000 Do you remember that? 0.96

00:23:34.000 I'm like, wait, why is that on like a regular ass check? 0.92

00:23:38.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:23:38.000 It was just like on a regular Chase Bank check. 0.97

00:23:41.000 It wasn't even...

00:23:42.000 A big cardboard one?

00:23:43.000 Not even that.

00:23:44.000 Or printed out.

00:23:45.000 Or printed out on a...

00:23:48.000 Or even a wire or something.

00:23:49.000 I want to get that wire.

00:23:51.000 Yeah, laminate that thing.

00:23:52.000 Do you think that's real?

00:23:54.000 Do you really hold it on to a $100 million check?

00:23:56.000 But it was just a regular-ass check that you would buy groceries on in the 80s.

00:24:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:01.000 Yeah, that shit. 1.00

00:24:03.000 $100 million. 1.00

00:24:04.000 Yeah, I guess he wrote it to himself, so it's...

00:24:07.000 Mayweather Promotions, General Operating Account.

00:24:09.000 Yeah.

00:24:10.000 Yeah.

00:24:11.000 You got $100 million in a Bank of America?

00:24:13.000 I guess so.

00:24:14.000 It seems like he just holds on to it, too.

00:24:16.000 Yeah.

00:24:17.000 Hey! 0.99

00:24:17.000 He doesn't cash it? 0.99

00:24:18.000 That's a weird...

00:24:19.000 Yeah, I saw.

00:24:21.000 But I mean, why is he hanging on to that?

00:24:23.000 You should probably cash that.

00:24:24.000 Well, it's in his other account anyways.

00:24:27.000 It's Mayweather Promotions account.

00:24:28.000 Who cares?

00:24:29.000 So the Mayweather personal account, the checking?

00:24:32.000 So he's probably going to make more than $300 million from this last fight.

00:24:37.000 Sure.

00:24:37.000 Yeah.

00:24:40.000 Amazing.

00:24:41.000 I can't imagine that they won't do that again.

00:24:43.000 That him and...

00:24:44.000 Connor won't do it again.

00:24:46.000 With...

00:24:46.000 What?

00:24:47.000 If Connor can figure out how to not get tired.

00:24:50.000 Yeah.

00:24:51.000 If he can convince people.

00:24:53.000 Like, say if he fights Pauli Malignaggi.

00:24:55.000 He's not. 0.99

00:24:56.000 Beats the shit out of Pauli Malignaggi. 0.96

00:24:57.000 And then says, Freud! 1.00

00:24:59.000 Let's do it one more fucking time! 0.99

00:25:02.000 And I think Floyd would be like, nah man, come on. 1.00

00:25:05.000 We did that already.

00:25:06.000 I know, but he starts thinking about that money.

00:25:09.000 If you could figure out a way to get people excited about it, Conor could somehow or another get more people to pay attention?

00:25:18.000 Because it was an interesting fight for the first three or four rounds.

00:25:21.000 He made it look interesting, but it really wasn't interesting.

00:25:24.000 I thought it was interesting, but then when I thought back, it wasn't interesting.

00:25:27.000 Well, he caught Floyd clean.

00:25:28.000 You know, he caught him with an uppercut in the first round.

00:25:31.000 Nobody hits Floyd clean like that.

00:25:32.000 Floyd underestimated him, I think.

00:25:34.000 Also, he wasn't doing that shoulder roll.

00:25:38.000 No.

00:25:39.000 Because he wanted to...

00:25:41.000 He didn't believe in Conor's power.

00:25:43.000 So Floyd usually boxes.

00:25:44.000 Do you think that's what it is?

00:25:46.000 You always see him boxing that.

00:25:49.000 He boxed Canelo and he does that and he goes off of that counter.

00:25:53.000 I don't think that's what it was.

00:25:54.000 I think he knew that Conor was going to get tired if he was backing up.

00:25:57.000 You know that Conor has endurance problems.

00:26:00.000 And as long as he wasn't throwing a lot of punches, which Floyd wasn't, and he's constantly faking and moving, he's got Conor backing up, it's way easier to be defensive if you're not being offensive.

00:26:11.000 So if you're not thinking about hitting the guy, if you're constantly fainting...

00:26:15.000 You've got your hands up and you're moving forward, but really what you're thinking about is what he's throwing.

00:26:19.000 You can get away with a lot, and you can press forward a lot more because you're going to see the punches coming because you're not really thinking too much about throwing your own punches unless there's a clear, wide opening.

00:26:29.000 So for the first couple of rounds, he's mostly putting pressure on him, sizing him up.

00:26:34.000 When I watched it after the fight, it became way more obvious.

00:26:37.000 Like, while you're watching it, you're like, what's going to happen?

00:26:39.000 What's going to happen?

00:26:39.000 Once you already know what's happened, then I watched it and I said, oh, I can see exactly what he's doing.

00:26:45.000 He's fainting, putting a lot of pressure on Conor, and he's making Conor back up a lot, which is exhausting.

00:26:51.000 And then also, Conor's not very efficient.

00:26:54.000 He's not a boxer, so there's a lot of energy being wasted.

00:26:57.000 He's going to get tired more easily, and then he doesn't run, so he doesn't have the same kind of endurance that Floyd has.

00:27:02.000 There's a lot of factors in there.

00:27:04.000 Yeah, and it was 111 punches, but some of them were like...

00:27:07.000 Yeah, the ones that Conor landed, you mean?

00:27:10.000 Yeah, there was a few of them that were like little boops. 1.00

00:27:13.000 There were also like weird ones, like little patty-pack punches to the side of the head and shit. 0.98

00:27:18.000 Yeah, in the back of the head. 1.00

00:27:20.000 There's this one meme that shows Conor like this, and it just says, fuck this box and shit! 1.00

00:27:27.000 Well, you know, you get used to that in MMA. You know, you get used to hammer fists. 1.00

00:27:31.000 Well, I think that's what I saw.

00:27:34.000 I was talking about that, and a lot of other people were just wondering if muscle memory is going to just kick in and he's going to do some weird information.

00:27:42.000 And it did kick in a little bit, but not to the extreme.

00:27:46.000 Yeah, I think there was some massive penalties.

00:27:49.000 If he had any sort of a point deduction or anything that they did, something illegal, I think he had a massive penalty. 0.96

00:27:57.000 More than a million dollars for each thing he fucked up with. 0.90

00:27:59.000 I heard it was like 10 mil. 0.99

00:28:00.000 10 mil for each one?

00:28:02.000 That makes sense. 0.99

00:28:04.000 That 10 mil for each one makes you get your shit together. 0.97

00:28:07.000 As long as he doesn't get disqualified, it might be worth it. 1.00

00:28:11.000 Like 10 million for one fucking knee to the body. 1.00

00:28:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:28:16.000 I didn't know you used to fight until after the last time I did the podcast.

00:28:21.000 I just thought you got it worked out a lot and just really liked mixed martial arts and combat.

00:28:27.000 Well, I never fought in mixed martial arts because it wasn't around.

00:28:29.000 But kickboxing though.

00:28:31.000 Yeah, I did that.

00:28:32.000 Yeah, because I remember just seeing somebody say, yo, you talking about Rogan like that? 1.00

00:28:37.000 He'll kick you in your shit. 1.00

00:28:39.000 And I'm like, what? 1.00

00:28:40.000 And then I looked up Rogan kickboxing. 1.00

00:28:42.000 I'm like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:28:44.000 This whole time. 1.00

00:28:47.000 He was just kicking the shit out of a bag. 1.00

00:28:50.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:28:51.000 How'd that feel, man?

00:28:53.000 To hit somebody?

00:28:54.000 Feels weird.

00:28:54.000 The bag.

00:28:55.000 Oh, bag's easy.

00:28:56.000 Yeah.

00:28:57.000 Bags don't hit back. 0.83

00:28:58.000 When's the last time you hit somebody?

00:29:00.000 In anger?

00:29:02.000 Or in competitions? 0.99

00:29:03.000 It's been a long fucking time. 0.99

00:29:04.000 In anger? 0.99

00:29:05.000 Neither one.

00:29:06.000 That's even longer.

00:29:07.000 In anger, it's probably a high school.

00:29:09.000 But in competitions, when I was 22 or something like that, that was a Taekwondo tournament.

00:29:15.000 I was 19 then.

00:29:17.000 Oh.

00:29:19.000 And that was you?

00:29:20.000 Yeah, that was me.

00:29:21.000 With the walk-off?

00:29:21.000 That was me with the walk-off.

00:29:24.000 If you kick somebody to the body like that, a spinning back kick to the body, there's so much force.

00:29:28.000 He got all the bulletproof, though.

00:29:29.000 Doesn't matter.

00:29:29.000 That thing, that's just moral protection.

00:29:31.000 Oh, man.

00:29:32.000 That's not helping you.

00:29:33.000 So, what was your, at that moment, when you saw him laying down?

00:29:36.000 He's dead.

00:29:37.000 I knew he was gone.

00:29:38.000 But.

00:29:39.000 I mean, not dead.

00:29:39.000 You know.

00:29:40.000 What you thinking? 1.00

00:29:41.000 Damn. 1.00

00:29:41.000 He's not getting up. 1.00

00:29:42.000 Oh, was it one?

00:29:43.000 Yeah.

00:29:43.000 You have to walk away and make it look like it's no big deal.

00:29:47.000 That was how my thought process was.

00:29:49.000 Don't get excited.

00:29:50.000 Make it look like this is what I'm going to do to everybody.

00:29:52.000 Just relax.

00:29:53.000 Just walk off.

00:29:54.000 And have everybody so nervous that you don't even care.

00:29:56.000 This is just a normal thing for you. 0.67

00:29:58.000 You kick people. 0.98

00:29:58.000 They go unconscious. 0.98

00:30:00.000 They fall down.

00:30:01.000 They can't get up.

00:30:02.000 You've got to have the people because you're in a tournament.

00:30:05.000 So you're going to be fighting a bunch of people and they're sitting around watching.

00:30:08.000 Yeah, you might have to fight three or four times in a day.

00:30:10.000 Who was there rooting for you?

00:30:12.000 My teammates, guys that I train with.

00:30:14.000 Yeah.

00:30:16.000 It doesn't even seem, like even when I watch that, it doesn't really feel like me.

00:30:19.000 So long ago.

00:30:20.000 Just the hair.

00:30:21.000 Well, not only that.

00:30:22.000 I mean, I also have a head protector on the back of my head.

00:30:25.000 They would wear these head protectors. 0.84

00:30:27.000 Either you could wear a full one that covers your whole head, like over your ears, or you wear one that's just the back of your head, which is really just there so when you get knocked out, your head doesn't fucking bounce off the ground.

00:30:38.000 Yeah.

00:30:39.000 Because we were fighting on a basketball court.

00:30:41.000 If you look at that, that's just a wood floor. 1.00

00:30:43.000 Shit. 1.00

00:30:44.000 Yeah, there's a lot of that. 1.00

00:30:45.000 We fought on a hockey rink once, where they put a plastic sheet down on a hockey rink.

00:30:49.000 So it was not the ice, but the cement underneath the hockey rink.

00:30:53.000 So we were basically fighting on cement.

00:30:55.000 So the 80s were terrible. 0.99

00:30:57.000 Fucking awful. 0.99

00:30:58.000 Bad for brain damage, that's for sure. 1.00

00:31:01.000 A lot of people got fucked up, knocked out, and bounced their head off the ground. 1.00

00:31:05.000 Jesus. 1.00

00:31:05.000 I saw a lot of that. 1.00

00:31:06.000 Yeah.

00:31:07.000 Not good.

00:31:08.000 And for no money.

00:31:09.000 That's the thing.

00:31:10.000 There's no future.

00:31:11.000 No future and no money.

00:31:12.000 For the love of the game.

00:31:14.000 Well, I guess it prepares you for life and also you wanted to find out.

00:31:19.000 I wanted to find out how I would do, you know?

00:31:22.000 I wanted to find out what it would be like to compete under high stress situations like worrying about someone kicking you in the face.

00:31:30.000 Yeah.

00:31:32.000 I'm glad most people can't kick somebody in the face, so I'm glad.

00:31:36.000 That's whenever I go to a UFC fight or MMA, I just, whenever somebody gets kicked in the face, I'm like, man, if I got kicked in the face, I'd be so disappointed.

00:31:46.000 It's not good.

00:31:47.000 It looks crazy.

00:31:50.000 Yeah, it's terrible for you.

00:31:51.000 The thing is, more people can kick people in the face now than I think at any other time in human history. 0.99

00:31:57.000 I think there's a lot of fucking people that can kick people in the face now because of watching MMA and taking classes and training. 0.99

00:32:05.000 I think more people are training now than ever before. 1.00

00:32:08.000 For sure, there's way more people that can strangle people than ever.

00:32:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:32:12.000 100%.

00:32:13.000 Because the choke is easier to learn? 0.87

00:32:16.000 No, it's just more people are doing jujitsu than any other time in history.

00:32:19.000 Like, before, like, in my early martial arts days, there was no one that was doing grappling, really.

00:32:25.000 Like, I wrestled in high school, and then there was no, like, jujitsu classes.

00:32:29.000 There was, like, you could take judo.

00:32:31.000 Like, there was judo, but there was very few, like, actual, like, submission grappling schools or anything like that.

00:32:38.000 Even nationwide, there was a small handful. 0.98

00:32:40.000 Nobody knew what the fuck they were doing. 0.96

00:32:42.000 Now, everywhere you look, there's a jujitsu school. 0.98

00:32:45.000 Yeah.

00:32:45.000 Like, I was down in San Diego.

00:32:47.000 Just San Diego alone, which is not a big city.

00:32:49.000 They must have a hundred jiu-jitsu schools just in San Diego. 1.00

00:32:52.000 Shit. 1.00

00:32:53.000 It's crazy. 1.00

00:32:54.000 I'm gonna start sponsoring more fighters.

00:32:56.000 Yeah?

00:32:56.000 Are you?

00:32:57.000 Remember our sponsor for one?

00:32:59.000 Yeah.

00:32:59.000 And she missed weight.

00:33:01.000 Yeah, and Invicta, right?

00:33:02.000 Yeah.

00:33:03.000 Are you gonna do more?

00:33:04.000 I am.

00:33:04.000 Some other people reached out.

00:33:06.000 I gotta just get some new designs for the clothes.

00:33:09.000 That's what's been holding me back.

00:33:11.000 I gotta get some new designs.

00:33:12.000 That was an okay design, but I gotta mix it up a little bit. 0.99

00:33:15.000 Do you have, like, your face on her ass or something like that? 0.99

00:33:16.000 Is that what it was supposed to be? 1.00

00:33:17.000 It was around the whole body. 0.99

00:33:18.000 It wasn't just the ass. 0.99

00:33:20.000 It was just in case, you know, just in case she got knocked out and fell on her face, then, boom, HannibalBirds.com. 1.00

00:33:27.000 Yeah.

00:33:29.000 Yeah, you could do it in some organizations still.

00:33:31.000 There it is!

00:33:32.000 There it is.

00:33:33.000 Oh, yeah, all over.

00:33:34.000 That's hilarious.

00:33:35.000 And she didn't make weight. 1.00

00:33:36.000 That's a bummer.

00:33:37.000 She didn't make weight. 1.00

00:33:38.000 I think it's harder for girls to make weight. 1.00

00:33:40.000 Well, she was cutting... 1.00

00:33:42.000 She's fighting next week at... 1.00

00:33:44.000 I think she was trying to fight at 115, and she's fighting at 125 now.

00:33:51.000 Or she was trying to fight...

00:33:52.000 I think she was trying to fight at 105, and now fighting at...

00:33:54.000 Either or, she's... 1.00

00:33:56.000 Cutting less weight.

00:33:57.000 She's cutting less weight this time. 0.98

00:33:58.000 Yeah.

00:33:59.000 That was the other thought about the Conor fight.

00:34:00.000 A lot of people thought that Conor cut too much weight.

00:34:02.000 That's one of the reasons why he burnt out.

00:34:04.000 Yeah.

00:34:05.000 That's part of it.

00:34:06.000 I think it was a factor.

00:34:07.000 He does cut a lot of weight, and that does drain your body.

00:34:10.000 And it's not like when he's training he's cutting that weight, because he's not.

00:34:14.000 You know, like...

00:34:15.000 You only do it once.

00:34:16.000 You do it right before the weigh-ins.

00:34:18.000 You weigh in and then you put the weight back on.

00:34:20.000 So all that endurance training, all those hard rounds that you did, that's not after you're dehydrating yourself severely.

00:34:28.000 So your body's not used to operating at that level with Well, he's used to it because he fights in MMA like that, but MMA you get more chances to take a break.

00:34:40.000 It's different.

00:34:41.000 It's more exhausting.

00:34:42.000 It could potentially be more exhausting because there's grappling and there's kicks and there's just a lot more going on and you're fighting five-minute rounds.

00:34:50.000 You have more of a chance to get tired in that five-minute rounds.

00:34:54.000 When you clinch with someone, you could actually hold on to them.

00:34:57.000 Your referee's not going to break it.

00:34:59.000 You can take them to the ground and get on top of them.

00:35:01.000 You can hold your position and catch your breath.

00:35:03.000 There's more opportunities to recover.

00:35:06.000 Right.

00:35:07.000 That weight cutting is the worst part of fighting.

00:35:10.000 100%.

00:35:10.000 It seems...

00:35:11.000 Even the fighter that Janessa was supposed to fight that day, she took a picture of herself and she made weight. 0.98

00:35:24.000 But it looked terrible.

00:35:26.000 It was definitely 105, now that I remember, because 115 wouldn't look crazy like that.

00:35:32.000 Well, it could if you were cutting a shitload of weight.

00:35:34.000 Well, no, I mean, it could, but 105, it was just like, she was like, I made weight, and I was like, yo, you okay?

00:35:41.000 Look, it was just that she put in her phone on Instagram, I'm like, you know what?

00:35:45.000 She tried.

00:35:46.000 She tried to make weight. 1.00

00:35:47.000 Shit, who cares? 1.00

00:35:48.000 A few pounds. 0.99

00:35:48.000 But I guess those few pounds matter, obviously, if somebody's overweight and didn't go through the strenuous process that you went to, then they come in at an advantage. 0.99

00:35:59.000 Yeah, you have an advantage if you're not dehydrating yourself as much, but that advantage is crazy.

00:36:03.000 Like, they should stop doing that.

00:36:04.000 They really should figure out a way to stop fighters from cutting weight like that. 1.00

00:36:08.000 What's the alternative?

00:36:09.000 The alternative is to weigh them, like, randomly, the same way they catch people with drugs, like random drug tests, do random weight tests. 0.97

00:36:17.000 Like, they show up and they go, oh, Hannibal, look, you're 175 pounds, you're supposed to be fighting at 155, what the fuck is that?

00:36:24.000 Like, okay, and then they catch you again. 0.76

00:36:26.000 Okay, well, you're 176 pounds today.

00:36:28.000 Well, you're definitely not fighting at 155. And they'll give you a weight parameter.

00:36:32.000 Like, it says it's healthy for you to cut 10 pounds.

00:36:34.000 You've got to fight at 166. That's your weight class.

00:36:37.000 So, it'll force fighters to be more disciplined about their actual weight.

00:36:42.000 Like, you can't balloon up in between rounds or in between competition.

00:36:46.000 And you're also, you know, you have to think about how much weight you could actually dehydrate out of your body healthy.

00:36:54.000 California has some new laws.

00:36:56.000 They only let you cut a certain amount of weight.

00:36:59.000 They periodically measure people during their camp.

00:37:03.000 They give them an opportunity and they measure them during their camp.

00:37:06.000 That's one of the reasons Hennen Barrow, who was the bantamweight champion, he fought Aljamain Sterling, but they wouldn't let him fight at 135. They made him fight at 140. Because he cut too much weight.

00:37:16.000 Is that a catchweight?

00:37:17.000 Yeah.

00:37:19.000 I think that should be the option for the crazy fighters. 0.89

00:37:23.000 Just whatever weight you want to be, class.

00:37:28.000 That should be one.

00:37:29.000 Like for the fighters that might not be active or not on the build.

00:37:32.000 And we got this spot, like a guest spot.

00:37:34.000 A guest spot.

00:37:35.000 A guest spot on the comedy show.

00:37:37.000 You know, somebody just pops up.

00:37:38.000 Hey, a pop-up fight. 0.89

00:37:40.000 No matter what the weight is, these two fighters, whatever the fuck weight they want to be, they've agreed to fight.

00:37:46.000 We got this guy coming in at 165, this other guy coming in at 215. They've agreed to fight each other.

00:37:53.000 You're cool with that?

00:37:54.000 Like old school, UFC 1. Yeah, like the old school, but not crazy, you know, not sumo wrestler versus, you know, 100 pound dude, but...

00:38:01.000 How much weight?

00:38:02.000 30 pounds difference?

00:38:03.000 Like, what's the cap?

00:38:05.000 I think it's up to, leave it up to the person.

00:38:07.000 It's a guest spot.

00:38:09.000 It's the guest spot fight.

00:38:13.000 Well, a lot of people do that in grappling tournaments.

00:38:16.000 In grappling tournaments, they have the absolute division.

00:38:18.000 In the absolute division, sometimes the lighter guys win the whole thing.

00:38:21.000 Yeah.

00:38:22.000 But there's no hitting.

00:38:24.000 That's the thing about grappling.

00:38:26.000 You can get by on skill and technique and an understanding of positioning, whereas you're fighting a guy like Francis Ngannou or someone like that, just a giant, 265-pound dude. 1.00

00:38:39.000 If you're a 150-pound guy, you're fucked. 1.00

00:38:42.000 You're just fucked. 1.00

00:38:43.000 That guy, he's what, 8-0 or something? 1.00

00:38:46.000 10-1.

00:38:47.000 10-1.

00:38:47.000 Yeah, I think he lost one of his early fights.

00:38:49.000 The commission...

00:38:50.000 Okay, look at that.

00:38:51.000 They have a 10-point plan to curb the weight cutting while protecting fighters.

00:38:56.000 Now normalized in the commission's rules are a steeper fine for missing weight.

00:39:00.000 A 10% cap on the weight a fighter is allowed to gain between the time the weigh-ins...

00:39:05.000 Oh, that's interesting.

00:39:06.000 ...and the weight class restrictions for those who miss weight more than once.

00:39:12.000 They also recognize four new weight classes.

00:39:14.000 I think that's huge.

00:39:15.000 Have a bunch of weight classes.

00:39:16.000 They should have weight classes every 10 pounds. 0.96

00:39:19.000 That guy Andy Foster, he's the California State Athletic Commission Executive Director. 1.00

00:39:23.000 He's the shit. 1.00

00:39:24.000 That guy's awesome. 1.00

00:39:25.000 He really is the most proactive out of all the Athletic Commission guys.

00:39:31.000 So that's it.

00:39:32.000 They'll figure it out.

00:39:33.000 They banned the use of IVs, which is interesting too.

00:39:36.000 Because IVs help you considerably to rehydrate.

00:39:40.000 Sure.

00:39:41.000 Yeah, they banned him?

00:39:42.000 Yeah, they banned him.

00:39:43.000 They don't want people relying on that. 1.00

00:39:45.000 Stay thirsty, motherfucker. 1.00

00:39:47.000 Stay thirsty. 1.00

00:39:48.000 Get punched. 0.91

00:39:49.000 It's fight time. 1.00

00:39:51.000 All these articles about Kevin Durant talking shit about Under Armour. 0.99

00:39:56.000 Dude, that crushed their stock yesterday. 0.99

00:39:58.000 Really?

00:39:59.000 It's crazy.

00:39:59.000 Kevin Durant is the Trump of basketball shoe stocks?

00:40:03.000 No, you know what he did?

00:40:04.000 He was just casually commenting about how kids will pick schools based on what sneakers they're going to have to wear.

00:40:13.000 Pretty true.

00:40:14.000 Yeah.

00:40:15.000 NBA star Durant takes a shot at Under Armour.

00:40:17.000 But he just said it in a matter-of-fact sort of a way.

00:40:20.000 He's like, kids don't want to play in Under Armour.

00:40:22.000 See, look at this.

00:40:22.000 Nobody wants to play in Under Armour.

00:40:24.000 I'm sorry.

00:40:24.000 The top kids don't because they all play Nike.

00:40:27.000 On a podcast!

00:40:28.000 Yeah.

00:40:29.000 A podcast interview dropped a stock!

00:40:32.000 Is that what it was, a podcast?

00:40:34.000 Yeah, the Ringer podcast.

00:40:35.000 The Ringer podcast.

00:40:36.000 It dropped the stock 3%.

00:40:38.000 You know how much money that must be?

00:40:40.000 For a giant company like Under Armour, 3%, that's a billion-dollar-plus company.

00:40:45.000 3% is probably tens of millions of dollars, right?

00:40:48.000 It'll bounce back, though.

00:40:50.000 How much is the actual difference?

00:40:54.000 Oh, it's down 44% since the start of the year.

00:40:58.000 Oh! 0.60

00:40:58.000 Oh, that's not good if it's already been sliding. 0.60

00:41:02.000 Yeah, there's a lot of issues with Under Armour and hunting, too.

00:41:06.000 A lot of people think that Under Armour is, uh, they're worried about their hunting division because, like, anti-hunters, they're like the only gigantic company that has the stones to support something that's as controversial as hunting.

00:41:22.000 They haven't been around very long, though, either, right?

00:41:24.000 Under Armour?

00:41:24.000 15 years, maybe?

00:41:27.000 I think it's a good question.

00:41:29.000 I think they're from the 90s.

00:41:31.000 I read something.

00:41:31.000 Adidas started back a long, long time ago.

00:41:34.000 Oh, yeah.

00:41:35.000 Two brothers, and that's where Puma started.

00:41:36.000 The two brothers started Adidas and Puma or something like that.

00:41:39.000 Adidas is from...

00:41:40.000 Remember Run DMC? My Adidas!

00:41:43.000 That's like...

00:41:44.000 1980-something.

00:41:45.000 They're just now rebounding from the problems that Nike is.

00:41:48.000 Did you pee that quick?

00:41:49.000 You're a wizard. 0.99

00:41:50.000 How the hell did you do that? 0.96

00:41:51.000 Listen, man.

00:41:52.000 You just gotta hatch, just open it up, just pour it out.

00:41:55.000 I'm trying to be professional.

00:41:56.000 That's the craziest, fastest pee I've ever seen.

00:41:58.000 You've downed three waters since you've been here, man.

00:42:00.000 You like all this talk about these fighters dehydrating yourself. 1.00

00:42:03.000 You're like, fuck that. 1.00

00:42:04.000 I don't have to live by those rules. 1.00

00:42:06.000 Nope, not in this game.

00:42:08.000 We were talking about Under Armour. 1.00

00:42:09.000 They have a hunting division, and they take a ton of shit. 0.99

00:42:13.000 Because I know there's a bunch of crowdfund things. 0.99

00:42:17.000 Not crowdfunds.

00:42:18.000 What are those things?

00:42:20.000 No, it wasn't a fun thing.

00:42:22.000 It was a crowd something or another.

00:42:25.000 They were going after Cameron Haynes.

00:42:27.000 Because they were calling him a trophy hunter, and they were trying to get Under Armour to drop him.

00:42:31.000 But then you look at how many people...

00:42:34.000 Their hunting division is this tiny division, and then Under Armour itself, the company, is just gigantic.

00:42:41.000 It's very interesting.

00:42:43.000 There's not a lot of companies that would be that big that would support hunting. 0.70

00:42:47.000 It takes a lot of balls.

00:42:48.000 Yeah, that means the CEO is definitely into hunting and he's like, this is my buddy. 0.98

00:42:55.000 Yeah, exactly what it is.

00:42:57.000 Well, yeah, the owners.

00:42:59.000 And it's like, can you imagine if Nike got into hunting?

00:43:01.000 There's no way.

00:43:02.000 Nike was in golf with Tiger Woods, and obviously he was a gigantic athlete for them, but now that he's not out there even playing golf, their golf division, I think they just closed it this year.

00:43:12.000 They don't even make anything anymore.

00:43:14.000 They might still make some clothes and some shoes.

00:43:17.000 They're putting golf spikes on the bottom of Jordans, but they don't make clubs or anything anymore, I think is what the...

00:43:22.000 Huh.

00:43:23.000 They're just putting golf spikes on the bottom of Georgia. 0.69

00:43:26.000 Get some of those extra Georgians out there from the recall section and just throw some spikes on there and just get them out to the U.S. Open. 1.00

00:43:32.000 We were talking last night about rappers that get sponsored by shoe companies at the store.

00:43:38.000 I didn't know that rappers had contracts with shoe companies.

00:43:41.000 For years!

00:43:42.000 Nike announces it will no longer make golf clubs, balls, and bags.

00:43:45.000 We just said Adidas and Unrun DMC, they probably for sure had a contract.

00:43:49.000 Jay-Z, 50 Cent, and Jay-Z had a commercial rapping back and forth with each other.

00:43:58.000 Kanye has his own shoe.

00:44:00.000 He has his own.

00:44:01.000 Yeah, but he had it with Nike originally and then went to Adidas.

00:44:05.000 But it's only rappers.

00:44:06.000 Could you imagine if a comic Kevin Hart.

00:44:10.000 Well, you have to go to the next absolute stratosphere as a comic.

00:44:16.000 Or, I mean, unless you really want to do it and do it on a small artisanal level, then you could do whatever you want to do.

00:44:24.000 Yeah, I guess, right?

00:44:26.000 That's a weird thing, though, that rappers get sponsored by shoe companies.

00:44:32.000 Why?

00:44:33.000 Well, like Kendrick Lamar.

00:44:34.000 Yeah.

00:44:35.000 He's got some sort of a shoe company thing, right?

00:44:37.000 He's a popular person.

00:44:38.000 Huge.

00:44:39.000 Yeah.

00:44:39.000 Right.

00:44:39.000 But does that guy work out?

00:44:41.000 I think Kendrick probably works out.

00:44:43.000 Probably.

00:44:44.000 A little bit.

00:44:45.000 Because, you know what?

00:44:46.000 Certain rappers, I can tell that they work out based on their show.

00:44:51.000 Really?

00:44:51.000 Oh, because they have energy?

00:44:52.000 Well, not even just energy, but...

00:44:56.000 If your songs and your lyrics are very dense, and you're rapping, that takes a lot of breath control and cardio, especially if you don't have a hype man on stage with you.

00:45:10.000 A hype man?

00:45:10.000 A hype man is not just for energy, it's so you can catch your breath.

00:45:15.000 And so he'll take those last couple words on the line, and then you catch your breath, and then you come back.

00:45:20.000 Because a lot of people don't have...

00:45:22.000 The breath control.

00:45:23.000 So a lot of times, even if somebody's not ripped, they're in shape.

00:45:28.000 Their lungs are in shape. 0.97

00:45:29.000 If they can do a whole show of just, you know, kind of rapid fire songs and shit. 0.99

00:45:34.000 I never thought about that. 0.97

00:45:36.000 A hype man, huh?

00:45:37.000 Yeah, that's what the hype man...

00:45:38.000 I mean, it's definitely they bring the energy up, but a lot of times, if you see a rapper... 0.98

00:45:44.000 And at their show and they don't have a hype man, they're like, you know, I could spit my own shit all the way. 0.97

00:45:49.000 I don't need a hype man. 0.99

00:45:50.000 Yeah.

00:45:51.000 Especially if they're fast with their lyrics, right?

00:45:54.000 Yeah, and Kendrick doesn't, you know, he doesn't rap over his own beats.

00:45:58.000 That's a pet peeve of mine.

00:45:59.000 A lot of big rappers.

00:46:02.000 And they will just rap over the song, the actual song.

00:46:07.000 Oh! 0.60

00:46:07.000 At their own... 0.60

00:46:08.000 Lip-syncing almost.

00:46:10.000 Pretty much. 1.00

00:46:11.000 Just rapping over the shit at their own concert. 0.97

00:46:13.000 Now, sometimes if, say, you pop up at somebody's show to do a guest spot as a rapper and you do your biggest song, this person's DJ doesn't have your instrumental. 0.99

00:46:25.000 He only has a regular track.

00:46:28.000 Didn't rap over that, but it's just show.

00:46:29.000 I don't want to hear you rap over that, because you're just rapping over this well-produced song. 0.99

00:46:33.000 I'd rather just hear this shit crispy in a club. 1.00

00:46:35.000 Right. 1.00

00:46:36.000 Yeah.

00:46:37.000 Otherwise, you're just seeing their presence, and that's enough.

00:46:40.000 Yeah, it's still fun, but it's just not... 0.99

00:46:44.000 When you know what the alternative is, which is you being a good, polished performer, then you're like, come on, man, just don't rap over your shit. 0.98

00:46:53.000 Yeah, that's a weird pop thing, right? 0.99

00:46:56.000 Pop singers are kind of allowed to do it, but we know they do it, but when they get busted, it's a huge deal.

00:47:00.000 Like, what was the girl? 0.99

00:47:01.000 Ashley, what the fuck's her name? 1.00

00:47:02.000 Ashley Simpson. 1.00

00:47:04.000 That was a big disaster, right?

00:47:06.000 She kind of vanished after that.

00:47:07.000 It's bad timing for that, too.

00:47:09.000 Bad timing?

00:47:09.000 Yeah.

00:47:10.000 How so?

00:47:10.000 She had a show.

00:47:12.000 They were trying to ramp her up on MTV like they were on the diary of everything. 0.93

00:47:16.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:47:16.000 They pulled the plug on that fucker. 1.00

00:47:19.000 That's it for her. 1.00

00:47:20.000 Yeah.

00:47:20.000 Ever heard about her again?

00:47:21.000 Not really.

00:47:22.000 Not really, right?

00:47:23.000 Saw her at a party.

00:47:27.000 That was like 15 years ago, right?

00:47:29.000 At least.

00:47:29.000 Not 15. I think it might have been.

00:47:31.000 No, it was like...

00:47:32.000 Easy 10. Easy 10?

00:47:34.000 Easy 10. I worked there in 2009, so it was a couple years before that.

00:47:38.000 I'm going to guess 06 for my...

00:47:40.000 I'm looking at 02. 2004. What is it?

00:47:42.000 2004? 0.99

00:47:43.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:47:44.000 Wow. 1.00

00:47:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:46.000 Damn. 1.00

00:47:46.000 13 fucking years. 1.00

00:47:48.000 Time will fly. 1.00

00:47:50.000 Yeah.

00:47:50.000 It does not wait for you.

00:47:53.000 If you're going to be a person who sings on stage and moves around on stage and you're not going to be going over your track, you have to be in some serious shape.

00:48:02.000 Yeah, it's to put on a solid show.

00:48:06.000 She promises new music in 2017. You just fucking re-broke Ashley Simpson. 1.00

00:48:12.000 Breaking her music now, letting everybody know. 0.99

00:48:14.000 Where'd you find out?

00:48:15.000 Yeah, but this is December 14th, 2016. She promised it.

00:48:19.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:48:20.000 It hasn't come out yet. 1.00

00:48:21.000 She's 45 now.

00:48:22.000 Look at her.

00:48:22.000 She's got kids.

00:48:24.000 She teaches yoga.

00:48:25.000 She found value in other things besides show business.

00:48:29.000 Sometimes you got to.

00:48:30.000 Good for her.

00:48:30.000 It's probably a good move for some people, you know?

00:48:32.000 Just get out. 0.99

00:48:34.000 We were looking at, what the fuck's his name, Mick Jagger's routine. 0.98

00:48:38.000 Mick Jagger's 185 years old, and that dude works out twice a day. 0.98

00:48:43.000 He does yoga, he lifts weights, he has trainers.

00:48:47.000 He's just doing everything to try to keep his body together.

00:48:50.000 Like, hang in there, mate. 1.00

00:48:52.000 I want to keep fucking supermodels. 1.00

00:48:56.000 Hang in there. 1.00

00:48:59.000 Is this girl like 27?

00:49:01.000 Yeah, he's got like an 18-year-old girl.

00:49:03.000 Oh, man!

00:49:04.000 I train five, six days a week, but I don't go crazy.

00:49:07.000 I alternate between gym work and dancing.

00:49:09.000 Then I do sprints, things like that.

00:49:11.000 I'm training for stamina.

00:49:12.000 He's shredded, though.

00:49:14.000 They had a picture of Mick Jagger, like his body.

00:49:17.000 Eight miles a day. 0.98

00:49:18.000 Damn, he runs eight miles a day swimming, kickboxing, and cycling. 0.99

00:49:22.000 How old is he? 0.99

00:49:23.000 He's got to be like 72, right?

00:49:26.000 Let's take a guess.

00:49:27.000 How old do you think Mick Jagger is?

00:49:29.000 Yeah, he's 70. I think 72 is good.

00:49:31.000 Yeah, 72, 73. I remember seeing something.

00:49:37.000 When we were kids, 72-year-olds were dead.

00:49:40.000 Absolutely.

00:49:41.000 There was nothing left.

00:49:42.000 You were on empty.

00:49:44.000 Your body was falling.

00:49:45.000 74. Damn. 1.00

00:49:47.000 He's almost 80. He's almost 100 then. 1.00

00:49:49.000 How long is he going to live?

00:49:52.000 Uh...

00:49:52.000 I don't know.

00:49:54.000 How old is Melanie Hamrick? 0.95

00:49:56.000 How old is Melanie?

00:49:57.000 Oh, is that his girlfriend?

00:49:58.000 Look at her. 1.00

00:49:59.000 Hot as fuck! 1.00

00:50:00.000 Oh! 1.00

00:50:01.000 Born in 87!

00:50:02.000 She's 30! 0.91

00:50:03.000 Oh! 1.00

00:50:04.000 Mick, you dirty dick! 1.00

00:50:07.000 She's just turned 30, and he knocked her up, right? 1.00

00:50:09.000 Didn't he shoot a live one in there?

00:50:11.000 Yeah.

00:50:11.000 What are the odds that kid's gonna come out and not have superpowers?

00:50:17.000 All this stuff that he's taken to stay young...

00:50:21.000 Wow, that's crazy.

00:50:23.000 30 years old.

00:50:24.000 Here's what I want.

00:50:25.000 Maybe Mick Jagger because of...

00:50:28.000 That's the baby.

00:50:29.000 Giant head.

00:50:29.000 Look, the kid can read minds.

00:50:31.000 The kid's head's filled with vitamins and anti-aging serum.

00:50:35.000 Look at her.

00:50:36.000 She's like, your daddy's 74. Your daddy's older than the president.

00:50:41.000 Yeah, we have to find you a positive role model because your daddy probably won't be around very much longer.

00:50:46.000 Have you heard of Maroon 5 at all?

00:50:49.000 Yeah.

00:50:50.000 When you're 74 and you're having a kid, that is super ambitious. 0.97

00:50:55.000 Like, you're optimistic as fuck to be 74 and have a kid. 0.98

00:50:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:00.000 I'm 34 and I'm like, yo, I need to fuck it. 1.00

00:51:03.000 If I'm gonna have kids, I need to make something happen over the next couple years. 1.00

00:51:08.000 Yeah, it's a good move.

00:51:09.000 Yeah, but I would never...

00:51:10.000 74?

00:51:12.000 A brand new one?

00:51:13.000 Yeah, that's super bold.

00:51:15.000 I guess it's just like, you know.

00:51:17.000 You know who's got a great story about that?

00:51:18.000 You know Theo Vaughn?

00:51:19.000 Do you know Theo?

00:51:19.000 Yeah.

00:51:20.000 Hilarious, dude. 0.98

00:51:20.000 He's fucking hilarious. 0.98

00:51:23.000 His dad was like in his 70s when he had him. 0.99

00:51:25.000 Oh.

00:51:26.000 And he's got hilarious stories about going to school and telling people that's his grandpa and being embarrassed that it's his dad.

00:51:33.000 That's fair.

00:51:34.000 Falling asleep everywhere.

00:51:35.000 Sounds like fair behavior for a kid.

00:51:37.000 Who's Jade Jagger? 1.00

00:51:38.000 His first kid's 45. Jesus Christ!

00:51:41.000 Oh, man.

00:51:42.000 His first kid could be his girlfriend's mom.

00:51:46.000 He might have her.

00:51:47.000 Oh, man.

00:51:48.000 Is he married to the girl?

00:51:50.000 The new girl?

00:51:50.000 No.

00:51:51.000 It says spouse?

00:51:54.000 He's probably like, why not?

00:51:56.000 I'll get married. 1.00

00:51:57.000 Well, don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:51:58.000 Take my money. 1.00

00:51:58.000 Martin's dead. 1.00

00:51:59.000 Partner.

00:52:00.000 Oh, partner.

00:52:01.000 Even better.

00:52:02.000 Partner.

00:52:02.000 That's how you do it.

00:52:03.000 It means I'm giving my money to my kids.

00:52:05.000 Partner means fool me twice, same on me.

00:52:09.000 Fool me three times.

00:52:10.000 I'm senile.

00:52:11.000 Oh, man.

00:52:12.000 And I'll move in and collect on my estate.

00:52:14.000 She's listed as lover.

00:52:15.000 Lover.

00:52:16.000 Mick Jack's lover.

00:52:17.000 Isn't that funny that we have, like, distinctions?

00:52:19.000 Like, did you or did you not scribble on the paper?

00:52:22.000 Did you scribble on the paper? 1.00

00:52:23.000 Or did you not agree to some stupid shit that doesn't make any sense financially? 1.00

00:52:27.000 Did you or did you not? 1.00

00:52:28.000 Is your estate at stake with this relationship?

00:52:32.000 Yes.

00:52:32.000 Is it or is it not?

00:52:33.000 Can you just shoot loads in her, random all willy-nilly, or...

00:52:37.000 Does she have access to half of your money? 0.99

00:52:39.000 Let me know.

00:52:40.000 Nope, she doesn't.

00:52:41.000 Let me know.

00:52:42.000 What's going on?

00:52:42.000 What's the deal?

00:52:43.000 What kind of deal would you guys make?

00:52:44.000 That deal is just so weird.

00:52:46.000 I have a friend that is a super rich dude, and he was getting married, and his wife did not want a prenuptial.

00:52:52.000 And he was like, well, this is crazy.

00:52:53.000 Why wouldn't I get a prenuptial?

00:52:55.000 If we stay together...

00:52:57.000 Like, we don't have to worry about anything.

00:52:59.000 Right.

00:52:59.000 Because, you know, you'll be fine.

00:53:00.000 You'll have plenty of money.

00:53:01.000 But if we break up, why would I be in a situation where you could get half my money?

00:53:06.000 Yeah.

00:53:06.000 You don't think this relationship is going to last?

00:53:09.000 No, no.

00:53:09.000 I think it's going to last.

00:53:11.000 That's why I want a prenuptial, because it's not going to matter.

00:53:13.000 Right.

00:53:14.000 And if it doesn't last, let's work out a side deal that is not half.

00:53:19.000 Yeah, you can't just hold that over me.

00:53:22.000 Like, well, his ex-wife held it over him.

00:53:25.000 Like, he didn't have a prenup.

00:53:28.000 And when they got divorced, it was a disaster.

00:53:30.000 And so then he was going into a second marriage, and this lady was like, I don't want a prenup. 0.99

00:53:35.000 And he was like, what?

00:53:37.000 I've already done this. 0.97

00:53:38.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.87

00:53:40.000 It's a tough combo. 0.99

00:53:41.000 Yeah, it's like if it works out, it works out.

00:53:43.000 That's a heavy...

00:53:45.000 I've had some heavy combos in my life, but that's one of the ones where...

00:53:50.000 We've been kicking it for a couple years, but I don't want you to...

00:53:54.000 Just in case this goes poorly, let's just get this out of the way real quick.

00:53:58.000 Gotta be careful what stage of the relationship you do this to.

00:54:01.000 Because in the beginning, if you decide to get married after six months, you're on drugs.

00:54:07.000 You're blissed.

00:54:08.000 You're blissed out.

00:54:09.000 You can't believe the relationship's working so well.

00:54:11.000 It's amazing.

00:54:12.000 She's incredible.

00:54:13.000 She's my life.

00:54:13.000 She's my partner.

00:54:14.000 She's my soul.

00:54:16.000 She's my partner.

00:54:17.000 She's everything to me.

00:54:18.000 Then you just get sick of each other about two, three years in.

00:54:22.000 And what's that seven-year itch?

00:54:24.000 You know that seven-year itch?

00:54:25.000 That's when she starts talking to a lawyer. 0.69

00:54:27.000 And she goes, okay, listen, let's just, if I get divorced now.

00:54:32.000 And then the lawyer goes, well, how much money is he making now?

00:54:35.000 Does he have any other financial opportunities that are on the table that could perhaps increase his wealth over the next few years?

00:54:39.000 Because you might want to hang in there for a few.

00:54:41.000 Start thinking about it mercenary-like.

00:54:43.000 Like if I just get to 11 years.

00:54:45.000 If I get to 11 years, then he gets the CEO position.

00:54:49.000 And then he starts making X amount of money.

00:54:51.000 Sounds...

00:54:52.000 Terrible.

00:54:52.000 Just the idea of living in a house with a woman and then she starts hating you or resenting you at some point and then starts plotting leaving while all just still living in the house.

00:55:10.000 Hey, honey, blah, blah, blah.

00:55:11.000 And then just going through the motions of what a marriage is supposed to be.

00:55:15.000 But secretly...

00:55:17.000 Going to end it, and she kind of knows exactly when she's going to end it.

00:55:21.000 That sounds terrifying.

00:55:23.000 It's terrifying, but it's also adorable.

00:55:25.000 It makes me laugh. 0.95

00:55:27.000 It makes me laugh because it's so silly. 0.62

00:55:29.000 Because it's such a human thing. 0.54

00:55:32.000 It's such a cultural and a human thing, and it's this weird lottery. 0.60

00:55:35.000 Like, this is the reason why men are attractive to women at all when they're really wealthy, if they're gross.

00:55:42.000 You know, if you see a gross dude, like, who's that guy? 0.57

00:55:45.000 Rupert Murdoch, the guy who owns Fox?

00:55:46.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:47.000 He's like, he's old as fuck. 1.00

00:55:49.000 He's like, doesn't take care of his body. 1.00

00:55:51.000 He's kind of like, but he's got this hot wife. 1.00

00:55:54.000 Right, there's something there's something adorable about that because it's this weird human folly thing that we got going on. 0.99

00:56:03.000 Yeah, provider and security and all that shit. 0.96

00:56:05.000 It's a little bit of that. 0.97

00:56:06.000 Allure and power, blah blah blah.

00:56:08.000 But it's also a scam.

00:56:10.000 What's interesting is, a guy like that becomes attractive because he's wealthy, and the woman's not wealthy, right? 0.70

00:56:17.000 You gotta assume, if she was worth a billion dollars, he wouldn't be attractive. 1.00

00:56:20.000 She'd just start fucking her personal trainer, and I'll buy you a Ferrari, honey, eat mommy's pussy, you know, like that kind of shit. 1.00

00:56:25.000 But if you get to a situation where you find this old dude, and, you know, well, he's just really kind to me, and other young guys, they just want to have sex and leave me, and he just takes care of me. 1.00

00:56:36.000 And then, what is that? 0.76

00:56:38.000 Secretary of the Treasury Munchin.

00:56:41.000 Oh, yeah, he's got a banging hot wife. 1.00

00:56:43.000 That's the lady that got in trouble because she was tweeting about all the different clothes and things she had on a government trip. 1.00

00:56:49.000 She's on a government jet and she's like tagging all the bags she wears and the shoes she wears and she's smoking and he looks like He looks like her dad, easily, right?

00:57:04.000 Doesn't he?

00:57:05.000 For sure. 0.99

00:57:06.000 He's gross. 0.86

00:57:07.000 Twitter, when you think about how many people have lost jobs and money because of Twitter, it's really fascinating. 1.00

00:57:17.000 I've had a situation happen because of it, but nothing, I haven't done any, I haven't had a stupid-ass social media blowout. 0.99

00:57:24.000 But when you think about how Insane it is with that where this is a medium where you can literally control every single word you say and you still say some wild shit that cost you millions of dollars or cost you relationships. 0.99

00:57:42.000 Yeah! 0.93

00:57:42.000 Things that you would say around your friends you don't think twice about and you say it online. 0.93

00:57:47.000 What I was going to say about these rich women, though, is that when you're a wealthy man and the woman's not wealthy, the fact that you're wealthy is attractive.

00:57:56.000 But then, if she marries you, she's rich too now. 0.95

00:58:01.000 Now you're just a dude. 0.99

00:58:02.000 And now you're gross. 0.99

00:58:04.000 And now she wants to stay rich, so she has to just kind of hang in there. 1.00

00:58:08.000 Are you talking me out of getting married?

00:58:10.000 Trying to.

00:58:11.000 Trying to.

00:58:12.000 I always tell people...

00:58:15.000 One day it won't be around.

00:58:17.000 One day marriage won't be a thing.

00:58:20.000 It's gonna take time.

00:58:21.000 You know what I spend my money on?

00:58:23.000 What?

00:58:24.000 I do random I was caught in a weird internet wormhole last week.

00:58:32.000 I was a little high on some Adderall.

00:58:36.000 High and on Adderall or high on Adderall?

00:58:39.000 High on weed and on Adderall.

00:58:40.000 Jesus, what's that like?

00:58:42.000 It's great, because you have the focus and energy of Adderall, but then the creativity of weed.

00:58:48.000 Yeah, it's a good combo.

00:58:49.000 Do you write like that?

00:58:50.000 Is that how you write?

00:58:51.000 I was planning to write, but I just...

00:58:53.000 Just took some different turns on the internet than I would normally take.

00:58:56.000 I should have written.

00:58:57.000 But it's just, when you take Adderall, what you're supposed to do is, when you take it, you're supposed to get settled with what you want to work on right away.

00:59:08.000 And then when it kicks in, you'll focus in on it. 0.96

00:59:11.000 Versus, you know, I think when my shit kicked in, I was just on the internet, so I just really dug deep into the internet. 0.97

00:59:17.000 And so, there was this... 0.84

00:59:20.000 Article about this guy on this this comedian it has all these funny tweets and so I started looking at his tweets yeah good tweets and then one is tweet said uh I'm uh I'll help my friend go to wrestling school and it was this this young woman that uh wants to go to wrestling she wants to go to pro wrestling school and I went to WWE Smackdown a couple days prior so wrestling was kind of on my brain so She had a GoFundMe,

00:59:48.000 and I just paid for her wrestling school. 0.99

00:59:50.000 Never met her in my life.

00:59:52.000 I ain't got no cars, Joe.

00:59:54.000 That's Adderall and weed.

00:59:56.000 Just Adderall, weed, and disposable income.

01:00:01.000 And just pay for some random wrestling school. 0.91

01:00:03.000 Did you just Uber everywhere?

01:00:06.000 Yeah, I rent cars some places.

01:00:08.000 But yeah, when I'm in LA, I Uber or Lyft around.

01:00:11.000 But like where you live?

01:00:12.000 In Chicago, I'll get a rental.

01:00:16.000 But I'm not there that much.

01:00:17.000 Even though my residence is in Chicago now, I'm still...

01:00:20.000 You're on the road a lot.

01:00:21.000 And so for my own...

01:00:24.000 Frugality, I can't justify having a car yet.

01:00:28.000 That's interesting.

01:00:29.000 I'm gonna get one.

01:00:30.000 I'm gonna break out of it.

01:00:32.000 My dad is super cheap, so that's just kind of his burden to me.

01:00:35.000 So I'm still...

01:00:38.000 Lightly extravagant and cheap and practical at the same time.

01:00:41.000 That looks like an extravagant watch.

01:00:42.000 What is that?

01:00:43.000 This is a...

01:00:44.000 I don't know the name.

01:00:46.000 It's beautiful.

01:00:46.000 Barrera.

01:00:47.000 It's beautiful.

01:00:47.000 I bought it because I was hyped before.

01:00:49.000 I was shopping before.

01:00:51.000 I did some shows at Radio City with Chappelle.

01:00:54.000 And so I was right before Soundcheck.

01:00:56.000 I was like, I need to buy a shirt.

01:00:58.000 I bought a nice shirt. 1.00

01:00:59.000 And then I was like, fuck it. 1.00

01:01:00.000 I'm going to get a nice watch. 0.99

01:01:01.000 And it wasn't...

01:01:01.000 It's not that crazy.

01:01:02.000 It was like... 0.99

01:01:04.000 700 bucks or some shit. 0.99

01:01:05.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:01:06.000 It's reasonable.

01:01:07.000 Yeah, it's reasonable. 0.99

01:01:08.000 It's too much for a watch, but not any stupid... 0.99

01:01:11.000 See, that's the one thing that fucks me up about watches. 0.99

01:01:14.000 Like, if you told me that watch was 10 grand, I'd be like, oh, okay.

01:01:17.000 Like, it's the same thing.

01:01:18.000 It looks like it could be a 10 grand watch, right?

01:01:20.000 Right.

01:01:21.000 Watches are weird like that, man.

01:01:23.000 Watches are weird, but it just kinda, they pop on stage a little bit, and it's a bracelet with the tie.

01:01:30.000 Yeah.

01:01:31.000 Did you see that Floyd Mayweather watch?

01:01:32.000 We were talking about the LaFerrari that's all crystal, $600,000. 0.99

01:01:36.000 It looks like some futuristic shit. 1.00

01:01:38.000 Yeah, it looks stupid. 1.00

01:01:38.000 $600,000 on a watch. 1.00

01:01:40.000 $600,000.

01:01:40.000 See, I could never...

01:01:42.000 Never.

01:01:42.000 Yeah.

01:01:43.000 This is stupid. 1.00

01:01:44.000 Even still now, when I have this, I'd be like, $700 on this? 1.00

01:01:48.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:01:51.000 Guess we had to book that gig in Boise to cover this shit. 1.00

01:01:54.000 Can't be doing this. 0.99

01:01:55.000 Gonna end up on 30 for 30 broke.

01:01:57.000 What kind of car are you gonna get?

01:02:00.000 I like the Tesla.

01:02:01.000 Oh, okay.

01:02:02.000 You're gonna go electric.

01:02:03.000 Yeah, I like just the...

01:02:04.000 What if you have to get out of town quick and you have to hope that there's electricity?

01:02:08.000 Like, out of town quick? 0.98

01:02:09.000 Yeah, like, what if some shit goes down? 0.99

01:02:11.000 Like, what if there's some sort of an earthquake or something? 0.98

01:02:14.000 I'll just get somebody else's car. 0.98

01:02:16.000 I mean, I got friends and shit. 0.96

01:02:17.000 And I'm sure they'll be leaving too. 0.98

01:02:20.000 Hop a ride.

01:02:22.000 The thing about Teslas it gets me, I love them.

01:02:25.000 I think they're great.

01:02:25.000 But you really can only drive them 250 miles.

01:02:29.000 I don't give a fuck what they say. 0.98

01:02:31.000 And even that, you better be driving slow. 0.98

01:02:32.000 Because if you're driving fast, or if you're driving in traffic...

01:02:35.000 Like, my business manager came out to Anaheim for the UFC. He drove from Hollywood to Anaheim.

01:02:42.000 And his shit was dead by the time he got to Anaheim. 1.00

01:02:46.000 Oh, because there's traffic. 1.00

01:02:47.000 Yeah, so he was stuck in traffic. 0.97

01:02:49.000 And there was no, like, shit off the road to charge up?

01:02:52.000 No, he had to find a super station, so you gotta go sit there for a half an hour at the super station, and when you do that, it fills up to like 75% or something like that.

01:03:00.000 Oh.

01:03:01.000 Yeah, that part's a little weird.

01:03:03.000 For city driving, no.

01:03:04.000 Maybe I'll get a used car that's practical for the apocalypse.

01:03:10.000 Why don't you get, like, a hybrid?

01:03:13.000 Like a Lexus hybrid?

01:03:14.000 Lexus hybrid, yeah. 1.00

01:03:15.000 Those are the shit. 1.00

01:03:16.000 And you can operate... 1.00

01:03:18.000 I think they have a switch where you could operate...

01:03:20.000 I know they have that for the Acura, the NSX, that new NSX. They have an all-electric mode where you could drive it totally electric.

01:03:28.000 Okay.

01:03:28.000 Or you hit all the switches and it's...

01:03:31.000 Yeah?

01:03:32.000 And then it's super fast.

01:03:34.000 Plus, it looks fresh.

01:03:36.000 You know what, uh...

01:03:37.000 Yeah, there you go.

01:03:38.000 Lexus, Lexus Hybrid.

01:03:39.000 That's a badass car too, that coupe, because it's, um, it's sporty, but it's just understated enough where you're not driving a Ferrari or a Porsche or something like that, but it's a badass car.

01:03:50.000 That one right there, what is that, the LS... LCH? Yeah, it's a badass car.

01:03:56.000 Yeah.

01:03:57.000 Yeah, baby.

01:03:58.000 That's what you need to get.

01:03:59.000 Get yourself one of those.

01:04:01.000 Look at that thing. 0.92

01:04:02.000 That's slick.

01:04:02.000 That's pretty slick.

01:04:03.000 That's a wicked-looking car.

01:04:04.000 And you know what I like about Lexuses, man?

01:04:06.000 They just never break. 0.96

01:04:08.000 This is my second Lexus that I have right now, and I've never had a single fucking problem with them. 0.95

01:04:13.000 Those things just never break. 0.95

01:04:15.000 You just drive them.

01:04:16.000 They never go wrong.

01:04:17.000 All right.

01:04:18.000 Customer service is fantastic.

01:04:20.000 They're the best customer service of any car I've ever had.

01:04:23.000 Nice.

01:04:24.000 And they're flashy, but they're not impressing a rapper.

01:04:28.000 You know what I mean?

01:04:29.000 You don't know what type of rapper, though.

01:04:31.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:04:33.000 Right.

01:04:34.000 It was like...

01:04:35.000 Yeah.

01:04:36.000 Like De La Soul, they're probably impressed.

01:04:38.000 De La Soul, you know.

01:04:39.000 Young Jeezy might be like, look at the looks. 0.90

01:04:43.000 You know what I did this week?

01:04:44.000 I... I donated some money to Red Cross for the Houston thing.

01:04:50.000 People get mad at you for that. 0.99

01:04:51.000 And then I remembered right away about the Red Cross shit. 1.00

01:04:56.000 It was like a knee-jerk donation. 0.99

01:04:59.000 I donated to Houston Food Bank also. 0.99

01:05:02.000 But then I remembered about the shit with how they handled the Haiti funds and Katrina. 0.96

01:05:08.000 And then I emailed, because it was through Amazon Payments. 0.98

01:05:12.000 I was like, hey, uh...

01:05:13.000 Can I get that money back, please?

01:05:16.000 I want to just give it to some other sources.

01:05:18.000 Oh, did you really?

01:05:19.000 I haven't got a response yet, but it was one of the weirdest, top ten weird emails I've sent when I asked for a donation back.

01:05:31.000 Yeah, that's slippery, right?

01:05:33.000 I want it back, though.

01:05:34.000 Because I don't...

01:05:35.000 Because they are...

01:05:36.000 I think it'd be better for some organizations on the ground.

01:05:41.000 This is one, Texas, the Texas diaper.

01:05:45.000 Because they need diapers. 1.00

01:05:47.000 And they're based in San Antonio.

01:05:49.000 So you can just send...

01:05:50.000 I just went on Amazon and just sent...

01:05:53.000 A grand worth of diapers.

01:05:55.000 Just because that made me feel good because it's super specific and you can't really get too fraudulent with diapers.

01:06:02.000 That's a good way of looking at it.

01:06:04.000 Like with product, you just send the product.

01:06:06.000 I mean, maybe somebody, worst case scenario, somebody steals it.

01:06:09.000 But for the most part... 0.99

01:06:10.000 If you send in a helpful product, that money, that shit's getting broken up. 0.99

01:06:15.000 Some of that shit go into the mortgage, some of that shit go into, like, ink. 0.98

01:06:19.000 Yeah, it's weird because I guess effective charities have operating costs. 0.99

01:06:24.000 There's no way around it.

01:06:25.000 People gotta get paid.

01:06:26.000 Yeah, people have to get paid.

01:06:27.000 You have to pay for logistics and planning.

01:06:31.000 And the Red Cross obviously does a lot of good.

01:06:35.000 There's no doubt they do a lot of good, and people just get mad at the accounting thing, like how much of the money goes. 0.97

01:06:40.000 On it, we donated money to the Red Cross for Hurricane Harvey, and people were like, yeah, the fucking Red Cross is a terrible place to donate money. 0.85

01:06:50.000 Okay, you want to say that, right? 0.98

01:06:52.000 People want to say that.

01:06:54.000 What's the best thing to donate money?

01:06:56.000 I'd like to know what the best thing to donate for Harvey is.

01:07:01.000 I did Houston Food Bank.

01:07:03.000 I did that Texas diaper thing. 0.70

01:07:05.000 Houston Food Bank sounds like a good one.

01:07:08.000 J.J. Watt.

01:07:10.000 Has one, the guy he plays for Houston, Texas.

01:07:14.000 There's a few other ones that are on the ground and in Houston or in the area where Red Cross is, you know.

01:07:24.000 I mean, obviously, I know they have people on the ground, but it's pretty general.

01:07:30.000 Yeah, they handle a lot of different things.

01:07:32.000 But they do a lot of good, too.

01:07:34.000 There's no denying that the Red Cross does a lot of good.

01:07:37.000 But that whole accounting thing, people get mad.

01:07:40.000 It's funny, man.

01:07:42.000 There's a lot of people just waiting to get mad at something.

01:07:44.000 Even get mad at where you're donating your money.

01:07:46.000 Well, I think it's just...

01:07:48.000 I think the issue more is that from the little research I did on it, that Red Cross hasn't had full transparency.

01:07:57.000 Right.

01:07:58.000 I think people want to know if you give a dollar to Red Cross, what percentage goes to this, what percentage goes to this, what percentage goes to this.

01:08:09.000 And I don't think they offer that and that makes people feel like they're getting shiested.

01:08:13.000 Do you think that's because they've been around so long?

01:08:16.000 The like Red Cross has been around for like how many years?

01:08:19.000 Like a hundred years probably something, right?

01:08:20.000 And like wasn't until the internet came along that these questions even came up but that people demanded transparency probably on a regular basis.

01:08:27.000 I think it's just because there haven't been that many results from the Haiti earthquake where people don't see tangible results and I know I donated a bunch of Yeah. 0.96

01:08:59.000 Worse for people, where if you're trying to help and you donate money to help and you don't really see the results of it, then you're like, what the fuck? 0.95

01:09:10.000 Yeah, the Haiti thing is... 0.97

01:09:11.000 It's almost like the infrastructure was so fucked up and there was so much damage done down there that you would need untold billions of dollars to fix everything. 0.89

01:09:21.000 It's like when you donate millions, it's like you're barely even going to see any results. 0.94

01:09:25.000 I wonder how much...

01:09:26.000 How much damage was actually done to Haiti?

01:09:28.000 You've got to wonder about Houston.

01:09:30.000 I mean, they're talking about Houston being just catastrophic to the point where some places are never going to recover.

01:09:36.000 It's pretty messed up, man.

01:09:40.000 It's raining there right now.

01:09:41.000 It's still raining.

01:09:42.000 And they were saying about how the constant development that they've been doing there Was part of the reason why the flood hit harder because they developed on prairie grass or certain land where this land might have soaked up some of that.

01:10:06.000 I mean, it probably would have still flooded, but it might have been less severe if there wasn't these acres and acres of new development.

01:10:13.000 Yeah, I saw that, where they're saying that by paving over these areas, those areas can no longer absorb the water.

01:10:19.000 But it seems like you're talking about, did you ever see the graphic that shows the difference between the amount of water that rained down on Hurricane Katrina versus the amount of water that rained down so far on Harvey, not even including today, and it's going to rain apparently tomorrow too, I think? 0.98

01:10:34.000 Shit. 0.94

01:10:35.000 It's so much more water than Katrina. 1.00

01:10:38.000 Look at the difference.

01:10:39.000 14 to 15 trillion gallons as of August 28th.

01:10:44.000 And what is today?

01:10:45.000 The 29th?

01:10:46.000 The 30th?

01:10:47.000 Today's the 30th.

01:10:48.000 So that's two days ago of rain, and then Katrina's only 6.5 trillion gallons.

01:10:53.000 I mean, that's amazing.

01:10:54.000 I mean, I'm sure it's people that dedicate their lives to this, but...

01:10:59.000 How do you count that? 0.99

01:11:00.000 They're out there with scoops and shit, measuring. 0.99

01:11:03.000 That's a good point. 1.00

01:11:04.000 Come on, man. 0.99

01:11:06.000 How the fuck do you know? 0.99

01:11:07.000 Come on, man. 1.00

01:11:09.000 Beyond, like, oil drums, you really...

01:11:11.000 Yeah.

01:11:12.000 Come on.

01:11:13.000 How do you really know?

01:11:14.000 It definitely looks like a lot, and I hope...

01:11:18.000 Seems like a lot of water.

01:11:19.000 Everybody is alright?

01:11:20.000 Yeah, well, you know, one of the things that I love about tragedies is when people come together and help each other out.

01:11:26.000 And one of the things is there was a line of fishing boats, of dudes pulling fishing boats to go and rescue people.

01:11:32.000 It was like a whole line on the highway of dudes with trucks pulling fishing boats and they were dropping them off and they were driving their boat, rather, riding their boat down these flooded roads and rescuing people and bringing them to safety. 0.98

01:11:46.000 That kind of shit makes me so happy. 0.99

01:11:49.000 That's one of the fucked up things about people. 1.00

01:11:50.000 Sometimes a bad thing makes people see the good in people. 0.96

01:11:55.000 It makes people do good things.

01:11:57.000 Definitely.

01:11:57.000 But how insane of just a juxtaposition does it have to be?

01:12:06.000 Like you in your crib just watching a show on Sunday, relaxing, and then a few days later...

01:12:15.000 You have to be saved by boat.

01:12:20.000 From this place where you usually just walk out and get the mail.

01:12:24.000 Yeah.

01:12:24.000 You have to...

01:12:26.000 Somebody has to pull up with a boat.

01:12:28.000 That's insane.

01:12:30.000 They say this is a once-every-500-year storm, too. 0.99

01:12:33.000 But how the fuck do they know that? 0.99

01:12:35.000 500 years ago, people wrote shit down on Bark. 0.99

01:12:38.000 You know, they showed, like, raindrops and skulls. 0.99

01:12:42.000 What is that?

01:12:43.000 People with a jet ski in their house?

01:12:45.000 Somebody saved her with a jet ski.

01:12:46.000 Wow.

01:12:48.000 Um...

01:12:49.000 Yes.

01:12:50.000 My friend's grandmother being jet-ski'd out of her living room in Houston.

01:12:54.000 What about y'all, though? 1.00

01:12:55.000 Wow, that house is fucked. 1.00

01:12:58.000 There's a lot of fucked houses. 1.00

01:12:59.000 The other thing about Houston, too, is Houston is so damp. 1.00

01:13:02.000 Like, Houston in the summertime is so moist.

01:13:05.000 It means they're going to have crazy mold growth. 1.00

01:13:07.000 Their mold is going to be off the charts, and that shit makes people sick as fuck. 1.00

01:13:12.000 I've had a friend in Austin. 1.00

01:13:14.000 His house had to be gutted because he was getting sick and they couldn't figure out what was wrong.

01:13:19.000 And they came in and did some sort of a test of the air and they're like, dude, your house is infested.

01:13:25.000 And so they broke down his walls.

01:13:27.000 Apparently there was some pipe leakage or something inside the wall and then just the general moisture of the air.

01:13:33.000 The entire walls were filled with this black mold and it was getting everybody sick. 1.00

01:13:38.000 Shit. 1.00

01:13:39.000 That shit is gross. 1.00

01:13:40.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:13:40.000 Mold is no joke, man. 1.00

01:13:42.000 That black mold stuff can really fuck you up. 1.00

01:13:45.000 If you're feeling shitty and your house has mold in it, you got to do something about that because there's something going on there. 0.98

01:13:52.000 You're literally being poisoned by your house. 1.00

01:13:54.000 Damn. 1.00

01:13:55.000 That Tom Lycus dude had that going on, too, in LA. He had to get his house gutted. 1.00

01:14:00.000 He was feeling sick for like a year, and then finally did something about it.

01:14:04.000 Found out his house was filled with molds. 0.99

01:14:06.000 They tear it down to the raw frame of the house and have to spray everything with this antifungal shit and redo the whole house again. 1.00

01:14:15.000 Shit. 1.00

01:14:16.000 How long was he out of the house? 1.00

01:14:17.000 Like over a year.

01:14:18.000 How is this?

01:14:20.000 Did he say that?

01:14:21.000 I'm reading a little article on it.

01:14:23.000 It says black mold.

01:14:24.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:14:27.000 Yeah, it just said it really hit his voice hard, fucked up his health. 0.64

01:14:30.000 It's no joke, man. 0.80

01:14:31.000 I mean, you breathe in these little organisms.

01:14:33.000 I mean, spores are these little...

01:14:36.000 When you're thinking about mold, it's like a fungus, right?

01:14:40.000 Wouldn't you consider mold a fungus?

01:14:42.000 Is that what it is?

01:14:43.000 Spores, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:14:44.000 That shit is in the air, and it's poison. 1.00

01:14:47.000 So you're basically breathing in toxic poison all the time. 1.00

01:14:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:14:52.000 That shit is... 1.00

01:14:53.000 I couldn't imagine that shit, man. 1.00

01:14:57.000 To you living in Chicago, you don't care about winters? 1.00

01:14:59.000 Doesn't bother you?

01:15:01.000 You can live anywhere.

01:15:02.000 I work around it.

01:15:04.000 Work around it.

01:15:05.000 So in the winter time, you're like, yeah, Hannibal's not in town.

01:15:08.000 Doing gigs in Florida.

01:15:10.000 Yeah, I book myself like that during the winter in Cali and Arizona, Texas, Florida, etc.

01:15:17.000 And then, if I do a run...

01:15:20.000 And I'm scheduled to come back, but I don't have any actual thing to do in Chicago that I need to be there for. 0.96

01:15:26.000 I check the weather, and if that shit's like under 25, then I just chill where I'm at. 0.97

01:15:40.000 I look and I'm like, that's crazy. 1.00

01:15:42.000 Fuck that. 0.99

01:15:43.000 And I call down to the front desk and say, extend for two days, please. 1.00

01:15:47.000 Oh, that's a good move.

01:15:49.000 And you just hang out wherever you're at.

01:15:50.000 Just hang out wherever, man.

01:15:51.000 Or go to some other warm place for a couple.

01:15:54.000 That's how, I mean, this is my first time being back for a full winter, so that's how I handled it this time.

01:15:59.000 Dude, you're living the life.

01:16:01.000 It's nice, man.

01:16:02.000 You're living a nice life.

01:16:03.000 I rent my place out.

01:16:04.000 It's an apartment building.

01:16:06.000 I rent it out when I'm not there.

01:16:07.000 Oh, do you really?

01:16:08.000 Oh, you are frugal.

01:16:09.000 Do you have people living in your house?

01:16:10.000 Do you know these people?

01:16:11.000 No.

01:16:12.000 Wow.

01:16:12.000 Airbnb.

01:16:13.000 I don't have like stuffed stuff there. 0.97

01:16:15.000 I'm pretty bare bones when I travel and shit. 0.61

01:16:19.000 Just a few t-shirts, jeans, a couple things. 0.99

01:16:21.000 So your apartment in Chicago, you don't keep a lot of shit there?

01:16:25.000 I keep just the basic stuff, TV and whatever you need if you're a traveling person if you be there. 0.97

01:16:32.000 Wow.

01:16:32.000 And then I stay.

01:16:33.000 When I get back, it's three of them.

01:16:35.000 I stay in whichever one is open.

01:16:37.000 I block out a couple days.

01:16:39.000 Oh, you have three apartments?

01:16:41.000 Yeah.

01:16:42.000 It's in one building, yeah.

01:16:43.000 That's weird.

01:16:45.000 Three apartments in one building?

01:16:46.000 Why'd you decide to do that?

01:16:48.000 I mean, I got it as an investment property.

01:16:51.000 I plan on getting a separate place to stay in, but that's where I stay now, is when I'm there, because I'm not there that much.

01:16:57.000 That's a slick move.

01:16:59.000 Do I sound like a weird, crazy, cheap person right now? 0.97

01:17:02.000 No, you sound weird.

01:17:03.000 I wouldn't say cheap, because you do have a $700 watch.

01:17:07.000 I would say frugal.

01:17:09.000 Frugal's the right way to approach this.

01:17:11.000 Yeah.

01:17:13.000 Why not?

01:17:14.000 Why not?

01:17:15.000 I mean, having them sitting around not generating any income doesn't do anybody any good.

01:17:21.000 Absolutely not.

01:17:22.000 I think it would drive me crazy.

01:17:23.000 Yeah.

01:17:24.000 So you're doing the right thing.

01:17:25.000 It's alright, man.

01:17:27.000 I was at this festival called Afropunk in New York.

01:17:33.000 What's that?

01:17:33.000 It's a music festival and it's just a beautiful festival.

01:17:40.000 It's all black artists and it's great.

01:17:44.000 And people dress up in the wildest outfits.

01:17:47.000 It's a fun time, man.

01:17:49.000 I met the people that put it on.

01:17:50.000 I met them a few years back.

01:17:51.000 They used to come to my show at Knitting Factory in Brooklyn.

01:17:56.000 Jocelyn and Matthew.

01:17:58.000 Dope people.

01:18:00.000 Backstage, uh, chilling.

01:18:02.000 I was there with a friend.

01:18:04.000 Somebody introduced me to this lady. 1.00

01:18:06.000 She says, oh, I, uh, she has, you know, an industry job.

01:18:09.000 Oh, I work here and blah, blah, blah.

01:18:13.000 We'd love to have you in.

01:18:15.000 And I say, sure, you know, that sounds good.

01:18:18.000 I'd like to do that.

01:18:19.000 It sounded like an interesting thing to do.

01:18:21.000 And so she hands me her phone.

01:18:23.000 And I put in my email and my assistant's email and then give her the phone back.

01:18:30.000 And she was like, you not going to give your number?

01:18:34.000 I take that as a sign of disrespect.

01:18:36.000 I'm an OG in this game.

01:18:38.000 And I was super high at this point.

01:18:40.000 And I was like, what is happening right now?

01:18:44.000 She took it as a sign of disrespect that you didn't give her your number? 0.98

01:18:47.000 Yeah, because I guess she deals with lots of famous people or some shit. 0.77

01:18:50.000 So the fact that I just gave her emails, she just...

01:18:53.000 I never met...

01:18:54.000 I met this woman 90 seconds prior to this part of the interview.

01:18:59.000 It was so...

01:19:00.000 And I'm like, what?

01:19:01.000 And I was so high, too.

01:19:02.000 But I'm like, is this really...

01:19:05.000 What's happening right now?

01:19:06.000 I really wanted to work with you and I just gave you the info to get in touch with me.

01:19:12.000 Yeah, why do we have to talk on the phone?

01:19:14.000 That's less effective.

01:19:15.000 And so I'm like, what is happening?

01:19:17.000 And then so she goes on about that.

01:19:21.000 She went on about it for how long?

01:19:22.000 Not that long.

01:19:23.000 But then she tried to continue the conversation after it's obvious that her vibe has changed.

01:19:29.000 She went from a, hey, what's up tonight?

01:19:32.000 Yeah, to a very dry, oh, so.

01:19:35.000 Oh, wow.

01:19:36.000 And so she continued the conversation.

01:19:39.000 That's not good.

01:19:40.000 In this kind of dry, weird way.

01:19:42.000 Where she said, oh, so you're about to go on this tour with Naj and Lauryn Hill.

01:19:46.000 How do you approach the shows differently?

01:19:48.000 But it's obvious that she's just kind of asking it.

01:19:50.000 She's upset at you.

01:19:51.000 Yeah, and so then I just answered it.

01:19:53.000 And then she pulls out her phone, and she's like, oh, my friend's over there.

01:19:58.000 And then she... 1.00

01:20:03.000 She goes like this, like Norman, and then I just said, alright, I'm out of here.

01:20:08.000 I just walked off somewhere else.

01:20:10.000 But then, it was such a weird experience that the comedian in me was hoping she was doing some weird Andy Kaufman bit.

01:20:22.000 Was that intense?

01:20:23.000 It was just super weird because everybody else was really chill.

01:20:27.000 I wasn't even having any networking discussions with people like that there.

01:20:31.000 And everybody else was really chill.

01:20:33.000 I'm talking to other people.

01:20:35.000 Did that really happen?

01:20:36.000 So I saw her later.

01:20:38.000 A couple hours later, I said, were you doing a bit?

01:20:42.000 Was that a joke?

01:20:43.000 Ha ha! 0.86

01:20:47.000 And then she tried to play it like she was, but I could tell she was like, I had to check you.

01:20:50.000 Like, check me for what?

01:20:52.000 I gave you mine.

01:20:53.000 And so, but she was really...

01:20:56.000 Collecting people.

01:20:58.000 That's what she's really into.

01:20:59.000 Also, she was interacting with me based on who else she's dealt with in her past versus just interacting with me as an individual.

01:21:08.000 So she was just super salty.

01:21:10.000 It's so ironic that at this beautiful black festival, the only person being weird backstage is a white woman in her 40s. 0.55

01:21:25.000 Taking it as a sign of disrespect.

01:21:28.000 It was crazy. 1.00

01:21:29.000 You must have felt, as soon as she said that, like, oh, this definitely was the right move not to give you my number, because you're fucking crazy. 0.99

01:21:35.000 It was just more like, I was wondering, then after, I was like, was my... 0.98

01:21:41.000 Because sometimes I give random people my number all the time. 0.97

01:21:44.000 Like random girls and shit. 0.99

01:21:45.000 I've given... 0.97

01:21:46.000 But I don't know what...

01:21:47.000 I don't know.

01:21:47.000 Maybe something in my instinct...

01:21:49.000 Instinct.

01:21:49.000 You knew it.

01:21:50.000 Just gave it to her.

01:21:51.000 Yeah.

01:21:52.000 But I've given people my email before too.

01:21:54.000 But it was just...

01:21:55.000 It was just... 0.99

01:21:57.000 Especially since I was super high, I was like, what the fuck is happening? 0.86

01:21:59.000 Well, see, the thing is, for business, though, email is the best way to contact people. 0.92

01:22:03.000 Like, 100%.

01:22:04.000 Yeah, you can email somebody at 3 in the morning, it's nothing.

01:22:06.000 Well, yeah, not only that, like, you can, like, if you say, hey, we're trying to work out the logistics for this thing in February, between February 2nd and 4th, tell us your availabilities, so then you can sit in front of your computer and look at my calendar.

01:22:17.000 February 4th is my birthday, actually.

01:22:18.000 Hey, happy birthday.

01:22:19.000 Thanks, man. 0.99

01:22:19.000 You can look at that shit and you can go, oh, okay, well, here's what I've got, and you can, it's clear, it's more, it's, Having a conversation over the phone, then I gotta remember. 0.99

01:22:27.000 I gotta write it down. 0.99

01:22:28.000 Hold on, let me get a piece of paper.

01:22:30.000 Or let me dictate it into my phone.

01:22:31.000 That's less effective.

01:22:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:22:35.000 Crazy bitch. 1.00

01:22:37.000 Crazy fucking bitch. 1.00

01:22:38.000 She's crazy. 1.00

01:22:40.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:22:40.000 It was insane, man. 0.98

01:22:41.000 There's crazy people out there, man.

01:22:43.000 I've met men and women that do that.

01:22:45.000 They want your number, and if you don't want to give them your number, they get upset.

01:22:49.000 Well, this reason why you're getting upset is the very reason why I don't want to give my number.

01:22:53.000 Because we should be in each other's lives.

01:22:56.000 Yeah, you're too excited about getting my number.

01:22:59.000 If someone's that excited about getting your number, you shouldn't give them your number.

01:23:02.000 That's what I think. 0.98

01:23:03.000 Yeah, she started name-dropping and shit. 1.00

01:23:05.000 Fuck that. 1.00

01:23:05.000 As soon as they start name-dropping. 1.00

01:23:07.000 She named-dropped a second time.

01:23:08.000 I've done stuff.

01:23:08.000 I've put on events for Obama.

01:23:11.000 Okay, that's cool.

01:23:12.000 Call Obama right now.

01:23:13.000 Wake him up.

01:23:14.000 That's cool.

01:23:15.000 That's really great that you did that.

01:23:17.000 I've done events for Obama.

01:23:18.000 Did Obama give you his number? 1.00

01:23:21.000 You crazy asshole. 1.00

01:23:23.000 Like Obama's giving out. 1.00

01:23:25.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:23:25.000 Text me anytime.

01:23:26.000 No matter what's going on with the 7 billion people in the world that I'm handling.

01:23:30.000 Yeah.

01:23:31.000 Well, maybe she's a troll and she knew that she was becoming a podcast story. 0.99

01:23:37.000 Is she that?

01:23:38.000 I like to make people, sometimes I like to make people more calculated than they are. 1.00

01:23:44.000 That's like some Illuminati shit. 0.99

01:23:45.000 That's like some 3D chess. 1.00

01:23:47.000 I don't think so.

01:23:48.000 No, I don't think so. 1.00

01:23:49.000 I think she's just a crazy lady. 1.00

01:23:50.000 Just a weird show business lady. 1.00

01:23:53.000 No, just a crazy lady. 1.00

01:23:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:23:55.000 Have you completely moved past all the Cosby shit or do you still take grief for that? 1.00

01:24:03.000 Not grief, no. 1.00

01:24:05.000 Well, now you're vindicated.

01:24:08.000 I was, instead of grief, it was just where I would be forced to talk about it in situations I didn't want to.

01:24:16.000 And also, it came out, the joke, and that video came out right before we were starting the rollout for my Comedy Central TV show.

01:24:30.000 And we actually, we push back My announcement, because that news was that crazy that we pushed it back by maybe, we pushed it back, the premiere announced by a month or two.

01:24:47.000 Wow.

01:24:48.000 Because it was that.

01:24:49.000 And so, even though I had my Comedy Central deal in place, since 2012, I had an all-around Comedy Central deal.

01:24:58.000 And so then, when that came out, and then I got my show, well, then my show It was scheduled to go on the air.

01:25:05.000 It looked like, oh, he did the Cosby joke, and then he got the TV show.

01:25:08.000 It's like, no, man, this is like my fourth development deal, and this is finally the show that I got on.

01:25:15.000 Isn't it funny how things like that work?

01:25:18.000 Yeah.

01:25:19.000 So that was the thing where instead of...

01:25:25.000 Instead of just having this show that I was able to...

01:25:28.000 It was this energy around it, you know, in 2005, July.

01:25:33.000 Like, yeah, all early 2005. It was this energy around it where if I was going to do press around that time, they were definitely going to...

01:25:41.000 What year was it?

01:25:42.000 This was 2015, two years ago.

01:25:44.000 You said 2005. Sorry, yeah, 2015. And that show in Philly was October 2014. So...

01:25:53.000 Yeah, it just kind of really affected the energy around it.

01:25:59.000 And my want and eagerness to do a lot of press just because I knew it was going to happen.

01:26:08.000 You knew it was going to come up.

01:26:09.000 Yeah, and I was just like, I was...

01:26:10.000 So, that was that.

01:26:12.000 I'm not saying that that's the reason my show's not on anymore at all. 0.97

01:26:16.000 Just before people were like, your show sucked!

01:26:19.000 That's why I said... 0.83

01:26:21.000 Did you like doing the show?

01:26:23.000 I did like aspects of it.

01:26:25.000 I like the activity part of it, where there's always something to do.

01:26:29.000 You know what I mean?

01:26:29.000 If you're the face of a show, you gotta write, you gotta edit, you gotta get the writers to do stuff, you gotta deal with costumes, and it's always a task to do.

01:26:42.000 So I like just the...

01:26:43.000 I know for that, whatever...

01:26:47.000 What?

01:26:48.000 Three, four month period, I was never bored during that time.

01:26:53.000 When I do movies, I'm hella bored.

01:26:56.000 Yeah.

01:26:57.000 Yeah.

01:26:58.000 Just because you just sit around and you go say some stuff.

01:27:02.000 It's like baseball.

01:27:03.000 It's absolutely baseball.

01:27:06.000 It's absolutely baseball.

01:27:08.000 If you talk about a 12-hour day that you spend on a movie shoot, it's actually, for me... 0.99

01:27:14.000 45 minutes, an hour of actual acting and shit. 0.93

01:27:20.000 And I mean, well, with me, maybe 10 minutes of actual acting because I'm not a good actor at all. 0.99

01:27:26.000 I'm just saying words. 0.99

01:27:28.000 But yeah, shit is just... 1.00

01:27:30.000 Mind-numbly boring. 1.00

01:27:32.000 But the finished product is cool to see and it's dope to be a part of.

01:27:37.000 But when doing it, the director has a lot to do. 0.99

01:27:39.000 He's moving around and he's got a lot of shit to do. 1.00

01:27:43.000 But yeah, doing it, that shit is boring. 1.00

01:27:48.000 It's very boring. 1.00

01:27:48.000 There's no other way to do it though, it seems like. 1.00

01:27:50.000 It's always that way.

01:27:52.000 I think it depends on the budget of it.

01:27:56.000 When they got money to burn, Then they got time to burn also. 0.99

01:28:01.000 But if you're doing an indie movie, then they gonna keep that shit moving. 0.99

01:28:07.000 I did this one movie, Band of Robbers, that's on Netflix. 0.98

01:28:14.000 We were active on that.

01:28:19.000 It's Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, but in real time.

01:28:24.000 Like in current time.

01:28:26.000 Yeah, so I did that.

01:28:28.000 And that was, I played a few scenes in that, but it was quick.

01:28:32.000 It was no wasted days.

01:28:34.000 You know, sometimes you go to a movie set, they go, yeah, get here at nine o'clock in the morning. 0.99

01:28:38.000 You get there, go through the whole shit, get your hair, makeup, get your clothes on. 0.99

01:28:43.000 And... 1.00

01:28:44.000 Sit around.

01:28:44.000 And just sit for a full...

01:28:46.000 I've sat for four days.

01:28:47.000 Yeah.

01:28:48.000 Like, full days and then do...

01:28:51.000 Like, what was the plan? 0.98

01:28:52.000 What the fuck was the plan? 0.99

01:28:53.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:28:54.000 They just want you there in case they get through a scene.

01:28:57.000 They can move on to the next one.

01:28:58.000 How did you not even do anything?

01:29:02.000 Were you like, no, we're not gonna...

01:29:04.000 You're not...

01:29:04.000 No, you're good for the day, for the whole day.

01:29:08.000 Who planned this out?

01:29:10.000 Now, when you were doing your TV show, how many months did it?

01:29:13.000 You said you did it for like four months?

01:29:16.000 Eight episodes.

01:29:17.000 So it was two months of shooting and then a month or a couple months of pre-pro.

01:29:23.000 Yeah.

01:29:24.000 And you enjoyed it?

01:29:25.000 I did enjoy it.

01:29:26.000 I just, yeah, I enjoyed it.

01:29:27.000 I want to do a, I'll probably do something on TV next year again, do a show once I get the idea right and figure out exactly.

01:29:34.000 You think you do Comedy Central again?

01:29:35.000 Comedy Central needs a show.

01:29:37.000 They need something.

01:29:39.000 I'll do somewhere.

01:29:40.000 I'm going to do what the best choice is.

01:29:42.000 I had a good relationship over there still.

01:29:45.000 But we'll see.

01:29:47.000 We'll see what it is.

01:29:48.000 It's so hard to do those things because you've got to deal with so many other people.

01:29:51.000 You've got so many different cooks in the kitchen, executives, all these different people hanging around.

01:29:57.000 Yeah.

01:29:57.000 That's one part.

01:29:58.000 I mean, they were pretty chill.

01:30:03.000 They were...

01:30:04.000 It was...

01:30:07.000 It'll be weird aspects and just weird things that you think, you care about this?

01:30:12.000 It'll be a weird line. 0.99

01:30:14.000 Why do you give a shit about this line so much? 0.99

01:30:18.000 But they'll let other shit go, but it'll sometimes give notes on something that seemed pretty insignificant to me. 0.99

01:30:27.000 Yeah, I think a lot of times they just want to justify their existence. 0.94

01:30:30.000 They want to justify their paycheck and have some sort of a point of view, even if it doesn't make any sense.

01:30:35.000 They just want to add to it.

01:30:38.000 Tweak it a little bit.

01:30:39.000 That was my idea.

01:30:39.000 You see how Hannibal took his hat off and made that little nod?

01:30:42.000 That was my idea.

01:30:43.000 Yeah, conference calls is the word because everybody feels the need to chime in on a call.

01:30:48.000 I've been on conference call.

01:30:49.000 I'm like, why am I on this call?

01:30:52.000 I don't know if I've had a conference call where it just felt really good.

01:30:59.000 Where I was like, that was a good conference call. 1.00

01:31:01.000 Glad I did that shit. 1.00

01:31:03.000 Never. 1.00

01:31:04.000 I had a conference call once and I canceled a show.

01:31:07.000 I was supposed to do a Comedy Central stand-up special on the old regime, and we had a conference call, and they had a transcript of my set, and they were going over the material, and they're like, well, you definitely can't talk about this, and you can't say this,

01:31:23.000 and you can't say it.

01:31:24.000 We got like five minutes into the conversation, and I go, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

01:31:28.000 I'm out.

01:31:29.000 I go, I'm not doing this.

01:31:30.000 And they went, what?

01:31:31.000 I go, I'm not doing this.

01:31:33.000 I don't want to do this.

01:31:34.000 There's no way.

01:31:35.000 I go, you guys are butchering everything.

01:31:36.000 I go, this is my act.

01:31:38.000 You know what my act is.

01:31:39.000 You want to cut things out and change things.

01:31:43.000 There's no way.

01:31:44.000 This is not happening.

01:31:45.000 And you just bailed.

01:31:46.000 Yeah, I said, thank you, though.

01:31:47.000 Appreciate it.

01:31:47.000 And then did they- They were stunned.

01:31:49.000 It was one of those stunned conversations.

01:31:51.000 Like, what?

01:31:52.000 I was like, yeah, I'm not doing this.

01:31:53.000 It's not happening.

01:31:54.000 Did they flip, though?

01:31:56.000 No, no way.

01:31:57.000 It was just a straight up?

01:31:58.000 Yeah, I was like, we're going somewhere else.

01:32:01.000 This is crazy. 0.99

01:32:02.000 It was one of those conversations where they were super resistant to controversial shit. 0.99

01:32:09.000 This is a few years back. 0.98

01:32:11.000 I wish I could remember.

01:32:13.000 Late 90s?

01:32:14.000 No, no.

01:32:15.000 2005-ish.

01:32:18.000 Six-ish.

01:32:18.000 I wound up doing actually a series, a special on Netflix that went to Showtime.

01:32:25.000 That was 2005. So that's where I wound up doing it.

01:32:29.000 But the conversation on the phone was just like, what?

01:32:31.000 Like they were going over the material.

01:32:32.000 No, okay, we're going to have an issue with this.

01:32:34.000 You can't say that.

01:32:35.000 You definitely can't say this.

01:32:36.000 I was like, this is just...

01:32:39.000 Doing those specials on TV, it's such a bad idea anyway, because they're always all broken up, you know?

01:32:44.000 Yeah.

01:32:45.000 Yeah.

01:32:47.000 Especially for...

01:32:49.000 Stories, I did my first two with Comedy Central, and they were...

01:32:52.000 Did they break up your stories?

01:32:54.000 They broke up a story, a longer story in my second one, if I'm not mistaken.

01:33:01.000 But they're on Netflix now, and they're full. 0.98

01:33:03.000 But yeah, I mean, that's how they pay me, is that they fucking sell Axe Body Spray. 0.98

01:33:08.000 I gotta take another piss real quick. 0.98

01:33:09.000 I've been drinking too much water.

01:33:10.000 Go ahead, man.

01:33:10.000 Drink four bottles of water.

01:33:12.000 You might be the new water champ. 0.98

01:33:13.000 It's hot as shit outside, too, also today. 0.97

01:33:15.000 It is. 0.98

01:33:15.000 Like 110. Yeah, it's crazy hot. 0.98

01:33:17.000 It's hot in here, too.

01:33:19.000 It's so hot that I went running, and it was burning the bottom of my feet through those five-finger shoes.

01:33:25.000 You know, I wear those really thin trail running shoes, those Vibrams that everybody tells me are gonna kill me.

01:33:32.000 People act like you're gonna die if you wear those things.

01:33:34.000 I tell people I'm wearing, did you see the class action lawsuit?

01:33:37.000 Don't you understand?

01:33:38.000 These things are terrible for you, bro.

01:33:40.000 They're not.

01:33:42.000 It's just your body is used to wearing a cast on your feet.

01:33:46.000 Listen, to everybody that's worried about those things, I swear if you just use those things and walk for a while and then wear them a little bit and then eventually build up to running with them, you'll be fine.

01:33:59.000 But you have to strengthen your feet.

01:34:02.000 Neil Brennan said he got plantar fasciitis from running on a treadmill.

01:34:06.000 What?

01:34:06.000 With those things on.

01:34:07.000 Yeah, with those Vibram five-finger shoes.

01:34:09.000 Are those the ones that really stick to your feet, like webbing?

01:34:13.000 Little toe shoes.

01:34:14.000 Yeah.

01:34:14.000 Yeah, I run with those.

01:34:16.000 And they're better for your feet.

01:34:17.000 It's like your foot has to be strong because most of the time when you're running, you're running with running shoes on.

01:34:23.000 If you see the average pair of running shoes, they have a thick heel.

01:34:27.000 And what happened is Nike, I think in the 70s, whenever they came out with these things...

01:34:33.000 They literally changed the way people run because people started running and landing with their heel because that's where the big cushion is.

01:34:39.000 So it changed the gait, the natural human gait.

01:34:42.000 And it put way more pressure on your knees and people started developing all these issues because of that.

01:34:47.000 The real way to run is you're supposed to run on the forefoot, like landing on the ball of the foot and let the natural structure of your foot decelerate your stride.

01:34:56.000 That's what you're supposed to do.

01:34:57.000 But most people's feet are not conditioned for that because we wear these thick-ass sneakers everywhere.

01:35:03.000 And those things act as...

01:35:04.000 It's like we're in a cast everywhere.

01:35:05.000 That's how it's been described to me.

01:35:07.000 So over the last four or five months, I've been running with what they call minimalist shoes.

01:35:12.000 So there's almost no cushioning at all.

01:35:14.000 It's very thin.

01:35:15.000 And I was saying that it's so hot out that I was running in these things and the bottom of my feet got hot.

01:35:21.000 Yeah.

01:35:22.000 Just from running on the ground.

01:35:24.000 The ground was so hot.

01:35:25.000 Was it starting to melt or something?

01:35:26.000 I could feel it.

01:35:27.000 I could feel the heat through the bottom of my feet.

01:35:29.000 It was hurting.

01:35:29.000 It was actually like burning the bottom of my foot.

01:35:32.000 Which, by the way, people, if you have dogs, be super fucking careful your dog's outside. 0.99

01:35:36.000 Because you're walking your dog on concrete, you can easily burn the shit out of your dog's paws. 0.99

01:35:41.000 Did you see this the other day? 1.00

01:35:42.000 I just looked a little bit into it.

01:35:44.000 They're painting different sections of asphalt, I guess, here with, I don't know if it's like white or something.

01:35:51.000 Yeah, it's a heat-absorbing color instead of like black asphalt because black asphalt apparently just absorbs the heat and reflects the heat.

01:36:01.000 And radiates it around.

01:36:02.000 Yeah.

01:36:02.000 This is dropping like 10 to 15 degrees almost immediately.

01:36:05.000 I was already got 12 degrees just after one coat.

01:36:08.000 Yeah, I've seen that.

01:36:09.000 That's amazing.

01:36:10.000 That's great.

01:36:11.000 This is insane, although as hot as I saw in one article, but it was like 120 degrees.

01:36:15.000 It was getting some places like off Sunset Boulevard in LA, like just the middle of the day when it's like 85 outside, 90 degrees outside.

01:36:21.000 Makes sense.

01:36:22.000 It's really, really extra hot.

01:36:23.000 Yeah, it totally makes sense.

01:36:24.000 Yeah.

01:36:25.000 And all of LA is asphalt, basically, too.

01:36:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:28.000 Paint that shit, stupid. 1.00

01:36:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:36:30.000 This would change.

01:36:31.000 Maybe.

01:36:31.000 Maybe a little bit on your feet.

01:36:33.000 Oh, yeah.

01:36:33.000 But you're running on dirt.

01:36:34.000 I'm running on dirt.

01:36:35.000 I'm running on hills.

01:36:36.000 But, uh, it was so hot.

01:36:38.000 It was the first time it's ever, like, burned the bottom of my feet.

01:36:41.000 Like, I could feel it.

01:36:42.000 It was hot.

01:36:43.000 I was like, Jesus.

01:36:44.000 Yeah.

01:36:44.000 I'm not a, uh, I don't really jog, but I'm a good judge of form.

01:36:50.000 Are you?

01:36:51.000 I judge people form.

01:36:51.000 You'd be like a running coach.

01:36:53.000 I don't know if I could coach, but I could just, I could definitely tell you when you're wrong.

01:36:58.000 Because I see some people like, mm, too heavy-footed.

01:37:01.000 Heavy-footed is bad.

01:37:03.000 Most people are running on their heels.

01:37:05.000 I see people running, and I'm like, wow.

01:37:07.000 It's crazy when you look around, too.

01:37:09.000 You look around at how many people are wearing shoes with elevated heels, you're like, wow.

01:37:13.000 That's kind of nuts.

01:37:14.000 It's kind of nuts how many people just got accustomed to wearing those kind of sneakers and running.

01:37:19.000 People are running basketball shoes or something, too, and it's like you probably shouldn't be doing that.

01:37:23.000 I think you'd be better off with that than you are with running shoes.

01:37:26.000 Just don't land that way.

01:37:28.000 Just don't land on your heel.

01:37:29.000 If you land on the ball, your feet, basketball shoes, I think, should be fine. 0.98

01:37:32.000 But what the fuck do I know? 0.94

01:37:33.000 But, you know, I'm running with some really... 0.98

01:37:35.000 I run only with those five-finger shoes now.

01:37:39.000 Or with...

01:37:40.000 I wear these Morels, too.

01:37:42.000 They're called Vapor or something.

01:37:43.000 They're real thin, too.

01:37:45.000 Minimalist.

01:37:46.000 Do people ever try to...

01:37:49.000 You're running, but people probably still will attempt to stop you while you jog, right?

01:37:54.000 Yeah, but I don't.

01:37:55.000 You can't.

01:37:56.000 Yeah, you can't engage.

01:37:57.000 That's so crazy.

01:37:58.000 Like, I'm in the middle.

01:37:59.000 You're literally going to interrupt a workout.

01:38:01.000 I've had people come up to me when I'm on a treadmill before.

01:38:04.000 Like, hey man, can I get a photo with you?

01:38:05.000 Like, definitely not now.

01:38:08.000 You can have a mouthful of food.

01:38:11.000 You could be eating food.

01:38:12.000 I was cutting food up for my daughter, and this lady asked me for a picture. 0.99

01:38:16.000 I was like, are you crazy?

01:38:18.000 I'm feeding my kid. 1.00

01:38:22.000 People just don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:38:24.000 They want to adorn their Facebook with someone that they saw on TV once. 0.99

01:38:28.000 It's weird, man.

01:38:29.000 Not even printing it up!

01:38:30.000 They don't care.

01:38:31.000 Not even really printing it, usually.

01:38:34.000 Well, they don't even want it that much.

01:38:36.000 It's just like they have a phone, and it's like if you have a gun, you want to pull the trigger.

01:38:40.000 You have a phone, you want to take a picture.

01:38:42.000 Like, how many people do you see at the 4th of July taking videos of fireworks? 1.00

01:38:46.000 You are never going to watch that fucking video. 1.00

01:38:50.000 Who the hell is going to watch a fireworks video? 1.00

01:38:52.000 How sad does your life have to get where you don't have anything better to do than be sitting there watching little lights go off on your foreign screen?

01:39:01.000 Hey man.

01:39:04.000 Airport layoffs are real, dawg.

01:39:05.000 Is that what you do?

01:39:07.000 When you're sitting there?

01:39:09.000 I'm just thinking for, you know, the person that did it, you know, when you, like, say you gotta lay over in Salt Lake City, you delayed about five hours?

01:39:17.000 You should go through your videos and delete all the fireworks once.

01:39:20.000 Yeah, just do some cleaning up.

01:39:23.000 Yeah, you're eating up a lot of gigabytes.

01:39:24.000 You are. 1.00

01:39:25.000 When you look at it, you realize how much bullshit is on there. 1.00

01:39:29.000 Do you put shit in the cloud? 1.00

01:39:30.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:39:31.000 Do you do?

01:39:32.000 Ooh.

01:39:32.000 I shouldn't know.

01:39:33.000 I know.

01:39:34.000 Even when I do it, I'm like, eh.

01:39:35.000 But it's nothing too...

01:39:36.000 Too risque?

01:39:38.000 There's a couple risque things up there.

01:39:39.000 But my face isn't in there.

01:39:42.000 That's one thing.

01:39:43.000 That's one rule. 1.00

01:39:43.000 Just your dick. 1.00

01:39:45.000 All dick. 1.00

01:39:46.000 No face. 0.99

01:39:49.000 I asked a friend this yesterday.

01:39:51.000 Let's say Amazon started a Gmail competitor.

01:39:54.000 Would you not just jump over, but wouldn't it be a good thing maybe to just start fresh with all your email and be like, ah, what do I need that's 20 years old in my email or 15 years old?

01:40:02.000 Oh yeah, for sure.

01:40:04.000 Get it out of here.

01:40:05.000 I don't want to see it. 0.99

01:40:06.000 If I look at my email on a daily basis, 9 out of 10 things I get are bullshit. 0.99

01:40:12.000 9 out of 10. One out of ten, I need, and those people, I would just give my new email address anyway. 0.97

01:40:18.000 Like, Ari did that pretty recently. 1.00

01:40:20.000 Ari just changed his email.

01:40:22.000 I'm like, it's a good move.

01:40:23.000 I changed your phone.

01:40:24.000 I changed my phone.

01:40:25.000 That's a good move, too.

01:40:26.000 Having more than one phone is a good move, too. 0.99

01:40:28.000 Having a phone for people like that fucking lady at that thing who wanted your number. 1.00

01:40:32.000 I got that phone. 0.99

01:40:33.000 I just don't know that number by heart.

01:40:35.000 I got two other numbers.

01:40:37.000 I don't know them by heart.

01:40:39.000 Yeah, I just remembered my number right now by heart, and I'm about to change it again.

01:40:43.000 Yeah?

01:40:44.000 Yeah.

01:40:44.000 I like not knowing it, though.

01:40:46.000 I don't care.

01:40:47.000 You know what else I like, too?

01:40:48.000 I like that my vision is going, so I can't read things.

01:40:51.000 So if I get an email or something like that, I can go, what does it say?

01:40:57.000 Okay, whatever.

01:40:58.000 I don't feel compelled to read the whole thing.

01:41:01.000 I don't feel compelled to put my reading glasses and go into depth.

01:41:05.000 I just look at it to a quick glance.

01:41:07.000 Do I need to pay attention to this? 1.00

01:41:08.000 That's just some bullshit. 1.00

01:41:10.000 Think about some important things. 1.00

01:41:12.000 That's like old man flakiness. 1.00

01:41:16.000 I can't see that shit. 1.00

01:41:18.000 I can't see shit. 1.00

01:41:19.000 What? 1.00

01:41:19.000 What is that? 1.00

01:41:20.000 Nah, whatever. 1.00

01:41:21.000 Put that fucking newspaper. 1.00

01:41:23.000 Put the goddamn game on. 1.00

01:41:24.000 Yeah, I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:41:26.000 I'm practicing not giving a fuck. 0.99

01:41:28.000 I've always been good at it, but I'm actively working on it harder and harder more now than ever. 0.98

01:41:33.000 It's tough, especially if you're thinking about it. 0.98

01:41:36.000 It's tough not to not give a fuck, but also be very aware and thinking about things all the time. 1.00

01:41:43.000 If you're saying you don't give a fuck, you do give a fuck because you're making the choice to be like, I don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:41:50.000 But you still do give a fuck. 1.00

01:41:51.000 You're just like, I'm not going to react in a way as somebody that gives a fuck. 1.00

01:41:55.000 But I give a fuck. 1.00

01:41:56.000 I'm making a choice, though. 1.00

01:41:57.000 You know what it's like? 0.99

01:41:58.000 It's like I'm pretending I don't give a fuck by saying I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:42:02.000 I'm like putting that out there. 1.00

01:42:04.000 I'm like making a conscious decision to not give a fuck. 0.99

01:42:07.000 But in doing so, I'm giving a fuck about not giving a fuck. 1.00

01:42:10.000 Which means you give a fuck. 1.00

01:42:12.000 You know who don't give a fuck? 1.00

01:42:13.000 Who? 0.99

01:42:14.000 Locksmiths.

01:42:15.000 Why's that?

01:42:16.000 They don't give.

01:42:17.000 Locksmith confidence, dog?

01:42:19.000 Because they can open any door?

01:42:20.000 Because they can open any door, and you call them about the lock.

01:42:24.000 I mean, I guess they have to eyeball it and see what it is, but I was locked out in New York, and I say, you come through, and I tell them, I'll be there in five minutes.

01:42:35.000 What's the price?

01:42:36.000 I'll let you know when I'm there.

01:42:38.000 That's confidence.

01:42:39.000 I'm going to tell you when I'm there, because...

01:42:43.000 You need to get into your place.

01:42:45.000 That's true.

01:42:46.000 And yeah, and so I've I've I've sent locksmiths away just as a too much money just as an act of aggression.

01:42:54.000 Yeah Well, he was like it's this much and I was like trying to talk him down and he wasn't having it he was like so and I was like It's fine, dawg.

01:43:03.000 It's all good.

01:43:04.000 And I just sat in my hallway for...

01:43:06.000 I think I went to the bar a couple doors down and just called a locksmith.

01:43:10.000 How much did you save?

01:43:12.000 Not worth that time.

01:43:15.000 But it was good for my spirit.

01:43:17.000 It felt good.

01:43:19.000 Now, did you get a vibe off that dude?

01:43:21.000 Like, you sort of had a vibe off that lady? 0.99

01:43:23.000 You didn't want to give her your number?

01:43:24.000 There's like a vibe off a dude?

01:43:25.000 It's just, I think, it's just because I just see how quick they can do it.

01:43:30.000 And I'm like, I could do that in, you know, they do it in maybe 20, 30 seconds sometimes.

01:43:38.000 And I'm like, I can learn how to do it in the five-minute version of that.

01:43:42.000 How fast they do it. 0.95

01:43:43.000 And so it makes me, when I see how they do it, It pisses me off to know that he can just break my shit at any time and that he's just charging me an arbitrary price because his market is kind of, you know, all over the place. 0.98

01:43:56.000 Yeah, well, I guess they have a skill and they should be paid for that. 0.98

01:44:00.000 Absolutely.

01:44:01.000 Right.

01:44:02.000 So, like, do you remember how much money it was?

01:44:06.000 I don't know.

01:44:08.000 $150, let's say $150.

01:44:09.000 Oh, I would have just given him the money.

01:44:15.000 Probably.

01:44:16.000 Yeah, but you got an enjoyment out of saying no.

01:44:20.000 Yeah, because I think he's used to my foot and be like, sure!

01:44:24.000 And I'm like, you know what?

01:44:25.000 You got this skill. 0.99

01:44:26.000 You can break into people's houses and shit. 1.00

01:44:29.000 I've seen people do this shit fast, and I'm not having it. 1.00

01:44:32.000 I live on a block. 1.00

01:44:33.000 I live on a block.

01:44:34.000 I'm not in a suburban area.

01:44:36.000 My block in Brooklyn and Williamsburg, I got one of the most lit blocks. 0.99

01:44:42.000 A lot of shit to do. 0.97

01:44:43.000 It's just, yeah, it's like four bars just on my very block. 1.00

01:44:47.000 I got time to kill.

01:44:48.000 Went down to my local and played some skee-ball, hung out.

01:44:51.000 Hmm.

01:44:52.000 Yeah.

01:44:53.000 Why not?

01:44:54.000 How much did you offer to take off?

01:44:56.000 I don't remember the specifics of the negotiation, but it was a very nominal amount.

01:45:02.000 Like 20 bucks?

01:45:02.000 That meant nothing.

01:45:03.000 Yeah, and he wasn't really budging and shit. 0.97

01:45:05.000 Oh. 0.92

01:45:06.000 Yeah, it was just, yeah.

01:45:08.000 Insight into the mind of Hannibal Buress.

01:45:10.000 That's how my dad was.

01:45:11.000 Three apartments, rents them out with an Airbnb, $700 watch, big spend, no car.

01:45:17.000 No car.

01:45:18.000 Won't pay for a locksmith.

01:45:19.000 Hmm.

01:45:20.000 Will pay for a locksmith.

01:45:21.000 I did pay for a locksmith.

01:45:22.000 Will, but not that one.

01:45:24.000 Not that one.

01:45:25.000 Yeah.

01:45:26.000 Yeah.

01:45:26.000 How much do you think you saved on the second locksmith?

01:45:29.000 Not much, man.

01:45:30.000 But, drink money.

01:45:31.000 I had some drinks at that bar.

01:45:33.000 Hmm.

01:45:33.000 So yeah, 20, 30 bucks.

01:45:35.000 Hmm.

01:45:36.000 Yeah.

01:45:38.000 I kicked in my door once.

01:45:40.000 Didn't have my lock.

01:45:41.000 Didn't have my key.

01:45:43.000 Were you with the family, or was this you?

01:45:45.000 No, I was by myself.

01:45:47.000 It was pre-cell phone days.

01:45:50.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:45:51.000 I just front kicked the shit out of that door and called the dude. 0.99

01:45:55.000 It's like, what happened? 0.99

01:45:56.000 I was like, yeah, I didn't have my key.

01:45:58.000 He had to fix the door jam the whole day. 0.98

01:46:01.000 That little metal thing, that was all bent and fucked up. 0.96

01:46:04.000 It's amazing how easy it is to kick open a door. 0.95

01:46:06.000 When you see those dudes banging their shoulder against the door, if you got a solid front kick...

01:46:11.000 There's no way that door survives.

01:46:13.000 They just open.

01:46:14.000 Unless it's a pull-for-you door. 1.00

01:46:16.000 If it's a pull-forward door, you're fucked. 1.00

01:46:19.000 You gotta be able to kick through the door. 1.00

01:46:21.000 You gotta have a hard kick.

01:46:23.000 But a push-open door?

01:46:25.000 Super easy.

01:46:26.000 They just open up.

01:46:27.000 You know, you said you were solo when you did it, but I just still have a locked image of your family with you while you kick over the door.

01:46:36.000 And the kid's like, yeah!

01:46:38.000 Yeah!

01:46:39.000 Well, if they were crying, if they were crying, I would.

01:46:43.000 I kicked open the door once on the set of news radio and we blamed it on the band Anthrax.

01:46:47.000 Oh, it wasn't part of a scene?

01:46:50.000 It was just you were...

01:46:51.000 It was a door to the break room. 0.98

01:46:52.000 We were drunk, and I was with Maura, Maura Tierney, and she was like, God, I'm fucking hungry. 0.81

01:46:58.000 I want to get in that break room.

01:47:00.000 And I'm like, I can get in that door.

01:47:01.000 And she's like, how are you getting that door?

01:47:02.000 I go, I'd have to kick it open.

01:47:04.000 She goes, you can kick open that door. 1.00

01:47:05.000 I go, yeah.

01:47:06.000 And she goes, do it.

01:47:07.000 I go, all right, here we go.

01:47:08.000 Ba-boom! 1.00

01:47:08.000 I just kicked the shit out of that door, and it bent the fucking, all of the shit that works inside the door. 1.00

01:47:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:47:15.000 But it was... 1.00

01:47:17.000 It was so worth it.

01:47:18.000 It's very shady though to blame it on that band.

01:47:21.000 It was wrong.

01:47:22.000 They were working on the set that week.

01:47:24.000 They were on the episode with us.

01:47:27.000 To this day.

01:47:27.000 Is this at NBCUniversal?

01:47:30.000 I think we were on Sunset Gower at the time.

01:47:32.000 I think.

01:47:33.000 I just stomped the hole in that door.

01:47:36.000 Wait.

01:47:37.000 That's a big old metal door, too.

01:47:38.000 Did you used to act drunk sometimes?

01:47:40.000 Did you do some scenes drunk?

01:47:41.000 No, no.

01:47:42.000 This was after the episode had been done.

01:47:44.000 Wow, that's how pixelated is that.

01:47:45.000 Yeah, that's them.

01:47:47.000 They're cool guys, though.

01:47:49.000 I hope production didn't call them.

01:47:52.000 Because we just, we were like, who, you know, they were like, who fucked up the door? 0.70

01:47:56.000 Like, who knows? 1.00

01:47:56.000 And they were like, probably that fucking band. 1.00

01:47:58.000 We're like, hmm, probably. 1.00

01:48:00.000 I would guess it was that band. 0.95

01:48:03.000 We just fucked up a door for like $10 in potato chips. 0.93

01:48:07.000 Yeah, I was wondering what the take was. 0.97

01:48:09.000 Not much.

01:48:10.000 Just some chips.

01:48:11.000 You know, snack foods, whatever was available.

01:48:13.000 It felt good in the moment.

01:48:14.000 Oh, just to be able to do that feels amazing.

01:48:17.000 Yeah.

01:48:18.000 To be able to kick a door open?

01:48:19.000 My buddy Azar gave me this tip about...

01:48:25.000 When he goes to the movies, he orders a kid's ticket.

01:48:30.000 Because the people taking the tickets, they don't look.

01:48:33.000 Really, they just look at the theater number and the movie.

01:48:36.000 Right.

01:48:37.000 And what?

01:48:38.000 I did it the first time.

01:48:41.000 Two tickets, we saving four bucks or whatever, four and some change.

01:48:46.000 But it felt amazing.

01:48:49.000 It felt like...

01:48:50.000 It felt like a mini heist, you know?

01:48:52.000 Really?

01:48:53.000 Yeah, it felt really good.

01:48:54.000 It's like you're nervous, like, don't look, don't look, don't look, we're good. 1.00

01:48:58.000 Yeah, the girl didn't want to do that shit. 1.00

01:48:59.000 She was like, why are you doing this? 1.00

01:49:00.000 Oh, you were with a girl and you did that?

01:49:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:49:02.000 Oh, that's a problem.

01:49:03.000 Can't do that with a girl. 0.99

01:49:05.000 Yes, you can.

01:49:06.000 You showed them who you are.

01:49:08.000 This is me.

01:49:09.000 I am unreasonably cheap.

01:49:11.000 Yeah.

01:49:12.000 This is who I am.

01:49:13.000 We're seeing a movie together.

01:49:15.000 You're setting the stage too, so like when that prenup comes she understands.

01:49:18.000 Yeah, it was fine.

01:49:19.000 She's not gonna go, I can't believe you brought a prenup.

01:49:22.000 Yeah.

01:49:22.000 She's like, of course, you know me.

01:49:24.000 I cheat at the movie theater.

01:49:26.000 Right.

01:49:26.000 I pretend to be a kid for four bucks.

01:49:29.000 Exactly.

01:49:30.000 But that four bucks, that sends you, you know, sends your brain into a great place.

01:49:35.000 That's something that a lot of women really get upset by. 1.00

01:49:38.000 What?

01:49:39.000 Cheapness.

01:49:40.000 Yo! 1.00

01:49:41.000 I was out with this girl in Atlanta and we went to this club.

01:49:50.000 She was driving and we parked in this parking lot.

01:49:54.000 It's like one of those situations where you park in a parking lot.

01:49:58.000 It was a dentist's office, but now somebody's charging for it.

01:50:02.000 And so my immediate question, it's like five bucks for the parking spot, right?

01:50:07.000 But my immediate question is, do they have a deal with this dentist's office?

01:50:11.000 Or do they just charge at night for people to park at this dentist's office?

01:50:16.000 Because I'm like, you're not the dentist.

01:50:17.000 Why can't you come up?

01:50:21.000 And I was telling her, I told her that I was going to say that before we got out the car.

01:50:25.000 I was like, I'm going to ask him if he's a dentist.

01:50:27.000 I'm not going.

01:50:28.000 And she was like, and then we get out.

01:50:31.000 You're not the dentist. 1.00

01:50:32.000 She was like, what the fuck is going on? 0.99

01:50:34.000 She was upset that you actually did it? 0.98

01:50:36.000 Yeah, and so I was really about to be like, what's the chances of it getting told?

01:50:40.000 I was really, not because of it, I think the cheapness was a part of it, but it was genuinely, I wanted to know the reality of the situation.

01:50:47.000 Right.

01:50:48.000 Did they explain to you?

01:50:50.000 No, I just, she was getting upset and I just paid the $5 for her.

01:50:56.000 She got real upset?

01:50:57.000 Not really upset, but enough where we didn't have the same sense of humor and frugality, whereas we weren't on the same wavelength as far as that interaction, so she wasn't rolling with me.

01:51:08.000 That drives a lot of women crazy when they find out that you're cheap. 1.00

01:51:12.000 Yeah.

01:51:13.000 Yeah.

01:51:14.000 You're supposed to be bold.

01:51:16.000 That's one thing that women like. 1.00

01:51:17.000 They like when dudes make it rain, right? 0.99

01:51:19.000 You're throwing a bunch of money in the air, you don't give a fuck. 0.98

01:51:21.000 There's something about that that's exciting. 0.98

01:51:24.000 I don't know about that.

01:51:25.000 Strippers like that, but... 1.00

01:51:26.000 I don't know.

01:51:28.000 Average women won't like that, right? 1.00

01:51:30.000 That's true.

01:51:31.000 Yeah.

01:51:32.000 But it's a male move.

01:51:34.000 To make it rain in a strip club is a total male move, right? 0.99

01:51:36.000 It's a saying that you don't give a fuck about money. 0.98

01:51:39.000 You just chuck it up in the air. 0.98

01:51:41.000 I mean, it's a lot behind that.

01:51:43.000 I haven't balled out in a strip club like that before. 0.65

01:51:46.000 I think the most I've spent in a night in a strip club is maybe $800, something like that.

01:51:55.000 Which in Atlanta is...

01:51:57.000 I spent two months in Atlanta this summer.

01:51:59.000 That's pretty low.

01:52:00.000 You know, there's some guys that go and just have 10 grand.

01:52:04.000 Such and such, this rapper spent 20 grand in a strip club, which is...

01:52:09.000 It's shocking and frightening to me.

01:52:12.000 Yeah, Atlanta's famous for that, right?

01:52:14.000 Yeah.

01:52:15.000 It's great strip clubs in Atlanta. 0.99

01:52:17.000 I was just there.

01:52:17.000 I was there Friday.

01:52:18.000 I was at the Tabernacle.

01:52:19.000 Yeah.

01:52:20.000 Fun time, man.

01:52:21.000 Atlanta's fun.

01:52:21.000 It's a fun city, man.

01:52:23.000 It's a very fun city.

01:52:24.000 It's a good nightlife.

01:52:27.000 But yeah, the strip clubs...

01:52:29.000 Where it's a spectacle.

01:52:31.000 You know what I mean?

01:52:32.000 So you just...

01:52:32.000 I mean, it's fun.

01:52:34.000 But I went there a few times.

01:52:36.000 Who's throwing money?

01:52:37.000 Who's that?

01:52:38.000 21 Savage.

01:52:39.000 It's 21 Savage.

01:52:40.000 It's Young Thug.

01:52:41.000 They're on the stage.

01:52:42.000 Maybe they did a song or something.

01:52:44.000 But it's just...

01:52:46.000 Throw money on everybody.

01:52:47.000 See, it's just...

01:52:49.000 But that is a thing.

01:52:51.000 It's a thing.

01:52:52.000 The flamboyance of not worrying at all about money to the point where you just throw it up in the air.

01:52:58.000 Yeah.

01:52:59.000 That's a boxing ring.

01:53:00.000 There's a girl with boxing gloves on.

01:53:03.000 That might be King of Diamonds.

01:53:05.000 You don't want a box on paper.

01:53:07.000 Oh, it's Atlanta.

01:53:08.000 It's Atlanta.

01:53:09.000 Because you slip around.

01:53:10.000 Yeah, in some of the strip clubs, they have girls boxing. 1.00

01:53:14.000 What?

01:53:15.000 King of Diamonds in Miami.

01:53:16.000 What?

01:53:17.000 I went there once on a Monday.

01:53:19.000 They have girls boxing.

01:53:21.000 Really?

01:53:22.000 It's a huge strip club.

01:53:23.000 I don't like my strip clubs huge and overwhelming.

01:53:25.000 I like my strip clubs kind of like dive bars.

01:53:28.000 Certain strip clubs, if you walk in and you throw up a couple hundred dollars, you can kind of take over the energy of the place. 0.99

01:53:39.000 All the strippers are starting coming to you and shit. 1.00

01:53:41.000 At a small place. 1.00

01:53:42.000 At a smaller place.

01:53:43.000 King of Diamonds, that's where Rick Ross hangs out.

01:53:48.000 Yeah, Mayweather threw something in.

01:53:49.000 You see that?

01:53:50.000 King of Diamonds Memorial Weekend.

01:53:53.000 It has a basketball court.

01:53:55.000 I think we talked about strip clubs last time we were here.

01:53:58.000 Did we?

01:53:59.000 It happens.

01:54:01.000 They have a basketball court in there and a barber shop in the strip club.

01:54:06.000 What?

01:54:07.000 Yeah.

01:54:08.000 A barber shop and a basketball court?

01:54:11.000 Why do they have a basketball court?

01:54:12.000 Because sometimes you want to just get your endorphins going before you throw out that money, I guess.

01:54:17.000 Or maybe the strippers like to play basketball. 1.00

01:54:20.000 I don't know.

01:54:21.000 Weird.

01:54:22.000 Interesting.

01:54:23.000 But it's...

01:54:25.000 The music is great.

01:54:27.000 That's a weird strip club, too, because the girls wear clothes. 1.00

01:54:29.000 What's going on?

01:54:30.000 I think this is the preamble.

01:54:33.000 I think this is the YouTube version.

01:54:34.000 Oh, I see.

01:54:35.000 They're getting warmed up.

01:54:36.000 You want to go to Vimeo, you can see the real deal.

01:54:40.000 Oh, does Vimeo show nudity?

01:54:42.000 Yeah.

01:54:43.000 You know what's interesting is, what's the rules with Twitter? 0.99

01:54:45.000 Because I follow some porn stars, and they show full-on fucking. 0.99

01:54:51.000 I think that's it. 1.00

01:54:52.000 You can do it.

01:54:53.000 That's amazing.

01:54:54.000 Sometimes I forget that I follow Pornhub on Twitter. 0.99

01:54:59.000 And then I'll be scrolling through, and it's just a gif of some hard fucking... 0.99

01:55:05.000 I'm like, oh, yeah! 0.97

01:55:05.000 Well, it's a real problem if you leave your phone around and your kids grab it. 0.97

01:55:09.000 When they scroll through your feed, they're like, hey!

01:55:11.000 Scroll through the home feed.

01:55:13.000 They gotta, I mean, they're gonna see it somehow. 1.00

01:55:16.000 It's just ass and dick. 1.00

01:55:19.000 Just one of those animated GIF files. 1.00

01:55:22.000 15 seconds of ass and dick and like, woo! 1.00

01:55:25.000 It's amazing that they can have that on Twitter. 1.00

01:55:27.000 With the millions and millions and millions of...

01:55:28.000 Like, that doesn't bother them.

01:55:30.000 I mean...

01:55:32.000 This wears things on Twitter.

01:55:34.000 Our president on a constant.

01:55:36.000 Did you see that that woman, Valerie, I don't know how you say her name is, Valerie Plum or something like that, she's the CIA operative that was outed by I guess it was Dick Cheney, I think.

01:55:50.000 It was a big deal.

01:55:52.000 Because she had said something, or her husband had said something, so Dick Cheney outed her, and it compromised her position and compromised the mission she was working on.

01:56:01.000 Anyway, she's working now on buying Twitter to kick Donald Trump off.

01:56:06.000 What?

01:56:07.000 P-L-A-M-E. I do not know how to say her name.

01:56:09.000 She has that much money? 1.00

01:56:10.000 No.

01:56:11.000 She's crowdfunding to buy Twitter to kick off Donald Trump.

01:56:14.000 She wants to buy Twitter just so they can kick Trump off. 0.95

01:56:18.000 One billion dollar gold?

01:56:19.000 She made 85 grand so far.

01:56:21.000 By the way, I got news for you, honey.

01:56:23.000 Twitter's not for sale for a billion dollars.

01:56:26.000 Try to buy Twitter for a billion dollars.

01:56:27.000 That's nice.

01:56:28.000 Come back when you got about seven billion dollars.

01:56:30.000 Get out of here, Valerie. 1.00

01:56:31.000 Give that money to Houston. 1.00

01:56:32.000 Fuck out of here. 1.00

01:56:33.000 You're not going to make it. 1.00

01:56:34.000 How much money do you think, like, how much money is Twitter worth?

01:56:37.000 Like, if Twitter was going to be for sale.

01:56:39.000 It had to be for sale first.

01:56:41.000 It would have to be like 15 billion, right?

01:56:43.000 Probably.

01:56:44.000 That's insane.

01:56:44.000 It's not on potential, but yeah.

01:56:46.000 It's, uh, it's the thing with Twitter from the little bit that I know is that it, In comparison to the other social medias, they've had trouble monetizing in the same way.

01:57:01.000 So Instagram is making money, Facebook obviously making money, and Instagram's all about it.

01:57:06.000 Snapchat is doing well.

01:57:08.000 Twitter hasn't figured out how to...

01:57:11.000 Get real revenue.

01:57:12.000 People use Twitter and are active on it in live tweet events, but as far as the money, it's been lagging in comparison.

01:57:21.000 I don't understand that.

01:57:22.000 Do you understand that?

01:57:23.000 That doesn't make sense to me.

01:57:24.000 Instagram has sponsored tweets.

01:57:27.000 What did that say?

01:57:28.000 What are you putting up there?

01:57:29.000 The market value, $15.7 billion for Twitter?

01:57:33.000 That was about a year ago, yeah.

01:57:34.000 So why does that chick think she can get it for a billion bucks? 1.00

01:57:36.000 She's tripping. 0.89

01:57:37.000 She's just trying to get attention, right?

01:57:39.000 Yeah.

01:57:40.000 You think she smoked?

01:57:41.000 Or you think that's just pure just anger to come up with?

01:57:46.000 Anger.

01:57:47.000 Just anger, not just to have the initial weirdo, wackadoodle, not gonna happen idea.

01:57:56.000 Because I've had a lot of those.

01:57:58.000 But then I calm down.

01:57:59.000 Yeah. 0.78

01:58:01.000 But to go through it, to be like, yeah, I'm going to fucking do a crowdfund to buy Twitter. 1.00

01:58:06.000 That's so stupid. 0.99

01:58:07.000 And then to actually go onto the site and then write it up. 1.00

01:58:12.000 Yeah.

01:58:13.000 Put your picture up there.

01:58:14.000 Yeah.

01:58:15.000 And then look at it.

01:58:16.000 Proofread. 1.00

01:58:25.000 It's so stupid because there's 350 million people in this country with every single person. 0.99

01:58:31.000 What's the matter? 1.00

01:58:32.000 She just wants to become the largest shareholder so she can make the decision to do that. 1.00

01:58:36.000 Why the fuck would anybody give her that money? 0.99

01:58:39.000 Yeah, I don't know. 0.99

01:58:39.000 You're giving her that money. 0.99

01:58:40.000 Like, what if you gave her $100,000?

01:58:42.000 How do you...

01:58:42.000 Does she give you an accounting form of what she's doing with that $100,000?

01:58:46.000 That's so stupid. 1.00

01:58:47.000 No one's gonna die. 1.00

01:58:47.000 I can't believe she got $85,000. 1.00

01:58:50.000 That's amazing in and of itself.

01:58:52.000 Well, the final number, the end of that number is $7,000, which means somebody gave like $2 or somebody gave a weird off number.

01:59:01.000 Sure, I don't have much, but good luck.

01:59:03.000 Yeah, who's going to give more than five bucks?

01:59:05.000 Let's look at the names, because sometimes they show the names of people that gave stuff and what they said.

01:59:12.000 And so let's just see.

01:59:13.000 Victoria needs...

01:59:14.000 Let's do this now!

01:59:15.000 And what else?

01:59:17.000 The way he tweets... 1.00

01:59:19.000 We need to get this fool out of office and put him where he can't cause damage. 1.00

01:59:23.000 Five dollars. 1.00

01:59:27.000 Look at that tweet that he made.

01:59:29.000 Look at that tweet.

01:59:29.000 Scroll back up, Jamie, to where it was before.

01:59:31.000 So you can see Trump's tweet.

01:59:33.000 Look at that.

01:59:34.000 Military solutions are now fully in place.

01:59:36.000 No space between comma and locked.

01:59:40.000 So typos galore.

01:59:42.000 Locked and loaded.

01:59:43.000 No comma.

01:59:44.000 I mean, comma, no space again.

01:59:46.000 Should North Korea act unwisely?

01:59:48.000 And then double space. 0.99

01:59:49.000 The fuck that's about. 0.99

01:59:51.000 Hopefully Kim Jong-un will find another path! 1.00

01:59:53.000 Exclamation point.

01:59:55.000 It's just, it's like, it's like you took some housewife from the middle of nowhere and allowed her to be president.

02:00:02.000 I mean, it's literally like the mindset of that tweet. 1.00

02:00:07.000 It's such a silly tweet. 0.96

02:00:09.000 Hopefully he'll find another path. 0.98

02:00:11.000 I mean...

02:00:13.000 Hopefully.

02:00:15.000 He's a, it's...

02:00:17.000 Are you disturbed?

02:00:18.000 I don't know if I'm even disturbed anymore or if I'm numb in a kind of a...

02:00:27.000 I don't know, like, domestic situation where I was just like, yeah.

02:00:32.000 Domestic violence, like you've been beaten?

02:00:34.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:00:35.000 Like your wife? 0.68

02:00:36.000 That's what he said.

02:00:37.000 Yeah, he went to Texas to see the flood damage and was like, yeah, good crowd, big crowd.

02:00:45.000 What a crowd, what a crowd.

02:00:47.000 Here to see me, right?

02:00:48.000 Everybody?

02:00:49.000 Yay! 0.99

02:00:50.000 Daddy! 0.96

02:00:51.000 I don't think I'm disturbed.

02:00:52.000 I just...

02:00:53.000 I don't think it would...

02:00:54.000 I knew it would be bad.

02:00:56.000 I don't think it would...

02:00:58.000 Be this bad?

02:00:59.000 Get this bad...

02:01:00.000 This quick.

02:01:02.000 And...

02:01:02.000 Yeah, it's really...

02:01:04.000 I don't know.

02:01:05.000 It's fascinating.

02:01:06.000 The thing that fascinates me the most is not just him, but how many people still support him.

02:01:10.000 How many people don't have any problem with it?

02:01:13.000 Yeah, where I... I try to...

02:01:17.000 I can't understand it, really.

02:01:19.000 Where they still are behind, like, you behind all of this?

02:01:23.000 Or is it just where they have a similar just, are the people that are really into him, are they the same type of just egomaniac or a narcissist where they can't admit wrong?

02:01:36.000 Or they know that it's wrong, but they, I can't.

02:01:40.000 I'm locked in now.

02:01:41.000 They're locked in.

02:01:42.000 I think they're finding a way to justify whatever he does, no matter what it is.

02:01:47.000 Like, I had Kamau Bell yesterday on the podcast.

02:01:49.000 I didn't read.

02:01:50.000 I don't read comments on YouTube, but I did look at the thumbs up, thumbs down.

02:01:55.000 And it's like, he had as many thumbs down as thumbs up.

02:01:59.000 That's super rare. 0.99

02:02:00.000 And I think a lot of it was because he was talking a lot of shit about Trump. 1.00

02:02:03.000 We both were. 1.00

02:02:04.000 We were talking about how ridiculous this is. 0.94

02:02:06.000 Yeah. 0.61

02:02:06.000 And I saw a couple of comments on Twitter, people that got mad, because we were talking about his response to Charlottesville, and they were saying, he was saying on all sides, because there was violence on all sides. 0.61

02:02:19.000 People showed up with torches.

02:02:22.000 They showed up with torches for white folks.

02:02:26.000 They were like, we're here for white folks only, we have torches. 0.75

02:02:30.000 You don't think that's an issue? 0.99

02:02:31.000 You don't think people showing up a line of crazy white supremacists with torches? 1.00

02:02:36.000 And the people that were opposing them, the people that are opposing them, yeah, they fucked up too. 1.00

02:02:40.000 But the only reason why they were there is because there was people with torches. 0.99

02:02:44.000 Right.

02:02:45.000 The whole thing was insane.

02:02:46.000 And he doesn't have the...

02:02:49.000 I mean, he doesn't know how to handle it.

02:02:53.000 And also he can't say that publicly.

02:02:56.000 He can't say, hey guys, I'm panicking right now.

02:03:00.000 No, he never said that.

02:03:01.000 But he can't say it explicitly, but he...

02:03:05.000 He kind of says it through his actions.

02:03:07.000 I don't think he's healthy.

02:03:08.000 Also, too, I think when you're 70 years old, like you were talking about your brain gets older, you're 34, right?

02:03:14.000 I'm 50 now.

02:03:15.000 My brain's getting older for sure.

02:03:17.000 What's it going to be like in 22, 23 years?

02:03:19.000 What is he, 71, 72, something like that?

02:03:22.000 What's that going to be like?

02:03:23.000 Not good.

02:03:24.000 I don't think you should be working all day.

02:03:27.000 Yeah.

02:03:28.000 That dude, uh... 0.84

02:03:30.000 He's too old and he's a crazy person and he used to host The Apprentice and he was on the Comedy Central roast, amongst other things. 0.54

02:03:39.000 So he still watches five hours of TV. Not to say that those things mean you can't be solid at being president, but this guy... 0.76

02:03:51.000 You say he still watches five hours of TV a day?

02:03:53.000 Yeah, that's what I read yesterday.

02:03:55.000 Who reported that?

02:03:57.000 Reuters?

02:03:59.000 Reuters. 1.00

02:04:00.000 They're a bunch of fucking fake news. 1.00

02:04:02.000 How could anybody have time to watch five hours of TV a day if you have a real job? 1.00

02:04:06.000 This wasn't a brand new article, but...

02:04:07.000 Trump's TV obsession is a first.

02:04:09.000 Look at that hair.

02:04:10.000 Hilarious.

02:04:11.000 Look at that.

02:04:11.000 They can just take a photo of his hair only and black everything out.

02:04:15.000 That is the most bizarre image of a president. 0.73

02:04:19.000 That crazy helmet of hair.

02:04:21.000 Yeah.

02:04:21.000 Gotta mix it up when you're a photo editor.

02:04:24.000 It's a good move, actually.

02:04:26.000 No president has consumed as much television as the current one or reacted as quickly or directly to what they're seeing.

02:04:37.000 He loves Fox& Friends.

02:04:39.000 624 a.m.

02:04:41.000 Monday, Trump gushed over Twitter about the amazing reporting, in quotes, on the morning talk show a week earlier.

02:04:47.000 He instructed the nation to, in quotes, watch Fox& Friends now for their exemplary Russia coverage.

02:04:55.000 Exemplary Russia coverage.

02:04:58.000 He tweeted about the program hosted by Steve Dewey?

02:05:02.000 Doocy?

02:05:03.000 How do you say that?

02:05:04.000 Yeah.

02:05:05.000 Doocy?

02:05:06.000 Dookie? 0.99

02:05:07.000 Dookie like poo. 1.00

02:05:10.000 Ainsley?

02:05:11.000 What are these people's names?

02:05:12.000 Ainsley Earnhardt and Brian Kilmeade.

02:05:18.000 Seven times in March alone, and recently brought it up in an interview with Fox News' Tucker Carlson telling him cheerfully, I like that group of three people.

02:05:29.000 Even after becoming president, Trump reportedly manages to fill his days with plenty of television, in quotes.

02:05:36.000 And from his tweets, it's often possible to discern when and what he's watching in January.

02:05:41.000 Axios broke down the president's media diet.

02:05:44.000 Most mornings, Trump flicks on the TV and watches Morning Joe.

02:05:48.000 But he hates that guy now.

02:05:50.000 Not anymore. 1.00

02:05:51.000 Now he hates that guy and he talks shit about his wife's plastic surgery. 0.99

02:05:54.000 Often for long periods of time. 0.99

02:05:56.000 Sometimes interrupted with texts to the host or panelists.

02:05:59.000 He texts them!

02:06:00.000 After the 6 a.m.

02:06:02.000 hour of Joe, he's often on to Fox& Friends by 7 a.m.

02:06:06.000 Wow. 0.99

02:06:07.000 With a little CNN before or after, just to fucking get the blood pressure up. 0.99

02:06:11.000 He also catches the Sunday show, especially Meet the Press. 0.98

02:06:14.000 The shows, as he calls them, often provoke his tweets.

02:06:18.000 The day of our interview with him, all of his tweet topics were discussed during the first two hours of Morning Joe.

02:06:28.000 Wow.

02:06:29.000 Five hours of television every day, it says.

02:06:31.000 That's a guess.

02:06:32.000 Not five a day, but too much.

02:06:35.000 And also, it's weird that the president is easily baitable on Twitter, more so than me.

02:06:43.000 Did you see when Stephen Colbert got him and then Colbert said, you know, Mr. President, as much as I think you're terrible to be the president, I thought at the very least you understood show business.

02:06:54.000 He goes, you responded to me.

02:06:56.000 He goes, that means I won.

02:06:58.000 I got you. 1.00

02:07:02.000 When he called Trump's mouth a cock holster for Putin. 1.00

02:07:07.000 Oh, that was a great joke. 0.99

02:07:09.000 It was a great joke.

02:07:10.000 But it's crazy, like, seeing that on a late night talk show. 0.99

02:07:14.000 A late night talk show on CBS, the host calls the president's mouth a cock holster. 1.00

02:07:20.000 Oh, they didn't bleep cock? 0.99

02:07:22.000 I don't know what they did. 0.96

02:07:23.000 They probably bleeped it.

02:07:24.000 Yeah.

02:07:25.000 But you knew what it was.

02:07:26.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:07:26.000 A cock holster. 0.97

02:07:27.000 He's saying a cock. 0.99

02:07:28.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:07:29.000 You know what I'm saying, but the fact that that was in the monologue, that CBS was like, yeah, go for it.

02:07:34.000 I mean, no other president would never have that, not in a million years.

02:07:38.000 The minimum amount of respect, no FCC fine for Stephen Colbert's late night Donald Trump cockholster crack.

02:07:46.000 Wow.

02:07:48.000 Yeah, they bleeped it.

02:07:49.000 So was Trump trying to go after it for the FCC? No.

02:07:53.000 Do you remember when the FCC went after Howard Stern? 1.00

02:07:56.000 People forget about that shit. 1.00

02:07:58.000 He got fined. 1.00

02:08:00.000 And he didn't even swear.

02:08:01.000 He got fined hundreds of thousands of dollars. 1.00

02:08:05.000 Shit. 1.00

02:08:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:08:06.000 How do you think it ends? 1.00

02:08:09.000 This guy.

02:08:10.000 You think he ends his term?

02:08:11.000 You think he dies in office?

02:08:13.000 You think he ODs?

02:08:18.000 You think he gets impeached?

02:08:21.000 You think, what happens with Trump?

02:08:24.000 That's a good question.

02:08:25.000 I don't think he gets a second term, but...

02:08:28.000 You think he makes it?

02:08:29.000 I could be wrong.

02:08:29.000 I think he makes it to the end of the term.

02:08:31.000 Really?

02:08:31.000 Yeah.

02:08:32.000 And I think it's just hell on wheels on a giant disaster, and it gets worse and worse.

02:08:36.000 And I think...

02:08:37.000 Here's the thing that...

02:08:38.000 Howard Stern had a really good point about Trump.

02:08:40.000 He said he wants to be loved.

02:08:42.000 He wants people to love him.

02:08:43.000 This is a terrible job if you want people to love you.

02:08:46.000 Because even the people that supported you, once you get in there, you're trying to do this impossible job that really no one's been able to do totally.

02:08:53.000 People forget that Obama had, like...

02:08:56.000 Very low approval rating to one point in time in his presidency. 0.97

02:08:59.000 I think he was in the low 40s like 44% or something like that Approval rating like it's not a job that anybody Does well even if you're the best at it ever you still people a giant percentage of the population millions and millions of people gonna fucking hate you Yeah,

02:09:15.000 that's not I don't think that's in that guy's psyche Especially if you check Twitter like that.

02:09:20.000 Yeah, you can Yeah.

02:09:22.000 He can block himself from it a little bit.

02:09:25.000 Well, he blocks regular people.

02:09:27.000 When regular people tweet out.

02:09:28.000 He can block himself from that.

02:09:29.000 Yes.

02:09:30.000 But just by deleting it off his phone, he can kind of get away from it.

02:09:33.000 But I don't think he could take that attention away from himself.

02:09:36.000 No, I don't think so either.

02:09:38.000 I just, I don't think it's healthy for him, especially at this late stage of his life, you know, in his 70s, taking this kind of heat.

02:09:46.000 Because before he was president, that guy, whether some people didn't like him, some people loved him, no big deal.

02:09:54.000 He was genuinely, generally able to like walk around everywhere and not be hated.

02:09:59.000 Like he could go to restaurants, people go, oh look, there's Donald Trump.

02:10:02.000 There's no people who were like hating him.

02:10:14.000 Yeah, they might laugh or they might try to get a selfie with him, ask him a question, but now the amount of hate he experiences is probably like Four or five hundred percent more.

02:10:26.000 More even.

02:10:27.000 Ramped up.

02:10:28.000 Through the roof.

02:10:28.000 Yeah, it's a five digit weird number or something.

02:10:31.000 Crazy.

02:10:32.000 Unquantifiable hate towards this man with the weird hair from The Apprentice. 0.98

02:10:37.000 Yeah, everybody just wants to take a free shot at him too.

02:10:39.000 Like everywhere he goes. 1.00

02:10:40.000 Poor bastard. 1.00

02:10:43.000 People are building goddamn careers off of hate. 1.00

02:10:46.000 They are. 1.00

02:10:46.000 The Trump, the president's show on Comedy Central. 1.00

02:10:49.000 That's true. 0.98

02:10:51.000 Goddamn Colbert has beat Fallon in the ratings lately because he's been ripping on him. 0.99

02:10:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:10:57.000 What the fuck is I making their goddamn legacy off of this dude being an asshole? 1.00

02:11:00.000 People are mad at Fallon because Fallon was too nice to him when he was running for president. 1.00

02:11:04.000 Get the hair thing.

02:11:04.000 I mean, it was already a done deal then.

02:11:06.000 You think Fallon was going to run it?

02:11:08.000 No, but it was that Fallon didn't grill him.

02:11:11.000 He didn't, like, pressure him.

02:11:13.000 That's what people are mad at, that he didn't treat him like a dangerous person.

02:11:17.000 Fallon probably had no idea that he was going to win, too.

02:11:19.000 Yeah, it was jokey at that point.

02:11:21.000 Fallon should have played one of those weird games and then cheated. 1.00

02:11:24.000 Fuck you! 1.00

02:11:26.000 I'm with her! 1.00

02:11:27.000 Yeah, he's mushing his hair up.

02:11:30.000 Big smile, mushing his hair up.

02:11:33.000 Yeah.

02:11:35.000 Hmm, very weird.

02:11:37.000 Yeah.

02:11:38.000 It's very weird.

02:11:42.000 It's just so strange that that's our president.

02:11:45.000 It's hard to believe sometimes.

02:11:47.000 Like sometimes I'll stare at the news and I just have to look at it for like seconds, like 10-15 seconds to just go, okay, this is real.

02:11:55.000 This is real.

02:11:56.000 That really is the president.

02:11:58.000 It's Donald Trump.

02:11:59.000 Have you traveled abroad yet with him as president?

02:12:02.000 Yeah, Italy.

02:12:03.000 Italy?

02:12:04.000 Yeah, that's it.

02:12:05.000 With the fam?

02:12:06.000 Yeah.

02:12:06.000 How was it?

02:12:07.000 It's normal. 0.99

02:12:08.000 Nobody gives a shit. 0.99

02:12:09.000 It's normal. 0.99

02:12:10.000 They don't give a fuck. 1.00

02:12:11.000 They're over there doing Italy shit. 1.00

02:12:12.000 But you were doing... 0.99

02:12:13.000 So you was just vacationing those shows?

02:12:17.000 Yeah.

02:12:17.000 No shows.

02:12:18.000 I've been to Canada to do shows, but I'm sure if you go and do shows...

02:12:23.000 Have I? Wait a minute.

02:12:24.000 No, I haven't.

02:12:25.000 My first shows with Trump as president will be next weekend in Edmonton.

02:12:31.000 Yeah.

02:12:32.000 I haven't been anywhere while he's actually been the president.

02:12:36.000 It's gonna be a trip, man.

02:12:38.000 Yeah, they just kind of blame it on you.

02:12:41.000 In the few conversations I've had when I've been out of the country, what are you guys doing over there?

02:12:49.000 It's not me!

02:12:50.000 How'd they do it?

02:12:52.000 Well, they have a situation that's the exact opposite.

02:12:56.000 They have a super liberal president that was letting in any immigrants, and now he's apparently cooled off on that, too.

02:13:03.000 Trudeau?

02:13:04.000 Yeah.

02:13:05.000 Trudeau also, they're having issues with free speech.

02:13:08.000 You know, people are getting fined for saying things. 0.84

02:13:11.000 They're setting up these weird laws where you can get in deep shit for misgendering people and not using the correct gender pronouns.

02:13:21.000 One of 78 different gender pronouns that people use now. 0.96

02:13:24.000 Like, they're super ultra left-wing.

02:13:27.000 Like, his cabinet and his ideas.

02:13:29.000 He's a real, like, legitimate social justice warrior president.

02:13:33.000 So it's interesting.

02:13:34.000 It's like you have both schools right next to each other.

02:13:39.000 That's, uh... 1.00

02:13:40.000 Both of them are kind of fucked. 1.00

02:13:42.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:13:43.000 Yeah.

02:13:44.000 We did it.

02:13:46.000 They did it too.

02:13:47.000 We did it.

02:13:47.000 Russia did it.

02:13:48.000 Nobody should fucking be president, man. 1.00

02:13:50.000 Nobody. 1.00

02:13:51.000 Shouldn't be president.

02:13:52.000 Uh-oh.

02:13:53.000 Hot take. 0.79

02:13:54.000 We need more.

02:13:55.000 We need a group of humans.

02:13:56.000 Just a group.

02:13:57.000 Like 12. Yeah.

02:13:58.000 Like a jury.

02:13:59.000 Yeah.

02:13:59.000 Like how a jury is.

02:14:01.000 Yeah.

02:14:02.000 Something like that.

02:14:02.000 Yeah.

02:14:04.000 And a group of intelligent people that are qualified.

02:14:07.000 With a great education, excellent ethics, great morals.

02:14:12.000 You can't have just a popularity contest to see who gets to control the nukes. 0.99

02:14:16.000 It's fucking crazy. 0.96

02:14:18.000 I hope we get past it, but I don't think we're going to. 0.98

02:14:21.000 I think once we have things written on paper, once we have, like, a way that we operate, once we have some sort of a plan that we follow, it's very difficult to get people to shake that.

02:14:32.000 To have some sort of a new, reasonable plan to run the country without representative government, you know, like senators and congressmen and people that you have to, like... 0.93

02:14:44.000 I mean, they had all that shit back when they couldn't get a hold of people. 0.90

02:14:47.000 I mean, they had all that stuff. 0.98

02:14:49.000 And I'm not saying that there shouldn't be some representatives.

02:14:51.000 I'm saying that the system that's in place right now was really in place right now because you had a representative of every state, and they had to travel to D.C., and they did their business, and they'd come back to their constituents.

02:15:01.000 Well, the constituents can all communicate in real time now.

02:15:04.000 I mean, we have this unique ability now to share your opinions, and even to vote online.

02:15:09.000 That also should be an option.

02:15:11.000 100% we should be voting online.

02:15:14.000 I don't know about that.

02:15:15.000 That could be easily written. 0.99

02:15:18.000 This guy's got dick pics on the cloud. 0.99

02:15:19.000 He's worried about people voting online. 0.99

02:15:21.000 Listen.

02:15:25.000 Who knows? 1.00

02:15:25.000 That's just a dark dick. 1.00

02:15:27.000 It could be anybody's. 1.00

02:15:30.000 It could be anybody's.

02:15:31.000 That's not me.

02:15:33.000 Play the voice.

02:15:34.000 Play the voice.

02:15:34.000 Oh, it's not saying anything?

02:15:36.000 Ah, there it is.

02:15:37.000 Fake news.

02:15:38.000 Fake news.

02:15:38.000 Fake news, rooters.

02:15:40.000 Photoshopped.

02:15:41.000 Yeah.

02:15:42.000 I just think a better system is possible.

02:15:44.000 This is not the best system.

02:15:45.000 I feel like this is like trying to patch up Windows 95 over and over again.

02:15:49.000 Just come up with a new system.

02:15:51.000 Yes.

02:15:52.000 Couple of years old.

02:15:53.000 Come on.

02:15:53.000 Mix it up.

02:15:54.000 Come on.

02:15:55.000 Mix it up.

02:15:55.000 But, you know, that's gonna take...

02:15:57.000 A lot of time.

02:15:58.000 A lot of time to do.

02:16:01.000 What's in the notes, man?

02:16:03.000 We got through it already.

02:16:04.000 Everything?

02:16:06.000 Uh...

02:16:08.000 We got to it organically.

02:16:10.000 Yeah.

02:16:10.000 I mean, yeah, I didn't try it.

02:16:12.000 I'm not a hammer it in type of morning radio type of...

02:16:19.000 Oh, that's the worst.

02:16:20.000 Oh, so what do you want to talk about?

02:16:22.000 Do you do those still?

02:16:23.000 Do you do morning radio shows?

02:16:25.000 No, I haven't done them in a while.

02:16:29.000 No, and I don't even ask me to call in.

02:16:32.000 So Hannibal, I understand that you were at a baseball game recently.

02:16:35.000 Yeah, I was at a baseball game.

02:16:36.000 Baseball is super boring.

02:16:37.000 I can't.

02:16:39.000 No.

02:16:40.000 We got through everything except for, weirdly, the one...

02:16:44.000 You know, congratulations on a thousand episodes, by the way.

02:16:47.000 I started a podcast last year.

02:16:49.000 Oh, that's right.

02:16:50.000 Yeah, Handsome Rambler.

02:16:52.000 Ooh, good name.

02:16:53.000 It's a high name.

02:16:54.000 I'm locked into it now.

02:16:55.000 I consider changing it.

02:16:57.000 I like it.

02:16:57.000 It's fun, though.

02:16:58.000 It's been good.

02:16:59.000 Do you have guests?

02:17:00.000 Have guests on.

02:17:01.000 Where do you do it?

02:17:02.000 We do it all over.

02:17:05.000 It's me and my DJ Tony Trim.

02:17:08.000 So we do a lot of them in Chicago, but we travel.

02:17:12.000 We have comedians and we have a lot of musicians on.

02:17:16.000 How often do you do it?

02:17:17.000 I do them, we put them out every week, but we block record them just because we're usually traveling a lot.

02:17:24.000 So we just, we have a theremin and we do make goofy songs.

02:17:29.000 Where's that set?

02:17:30.000 That's Tony's crib in Chicago.

02:17:33.000 Oh, that's a nice setup there. 0.90

02:17:34.000 Yeah, so we play some songs and shit and goof off and do some interview stuff.

02:17:40.000 It's a fun time though. 0.89

02:17:41.000 It's been good.

02:17:42.000 Nice.

02:17:43.000 It's kind of changed, you know, how I feel like I'm...

02:17:50.000 When I talk to people, I feel like a better person.

02:17:53.000 Not because I have a podcast, but I feel like I'm more in tune with what a person is saying than I used to be.

02:17:58.000 Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

02:17:59.000 Yeah, where I end up accidentally interviewing people.

02:18:05.000 When you talk to them in real life.

02:18:07.000 But asking good questions.

02:18:09.000 Not in a practicing way, where I end up talking to people, but asking better questions than the where you're from.

02:18:19.000 Getting beyond the...

02:18:20.000 Surface level, so I think that's happened because of that.

02:18:23.000 Well, I feel like the same thing with me.

02:18:26.000 I learned how to be a better conversationalist.

02:18:28.000 Yeah.

02:18:28.000 You evolve, for sure.

02:18:30.000 You also learn what's annoying about your speech patterns.

02:18:34.000 Oh.

02:18:35.000 I say a lot of yes.

02:18:37.000 Yeah.

02:18:37.000 People say like a lot.

02:18:39.000 Like.

02:18:39.000 It's like, there's like, you know, you know and like.

02:18:43.000 Those are big ones.

02:18:44.000 Yeah.

02:18:45.000 You know, like, and yeah.

02:18:46.000 Yeah.

02:18:47.000 Because I just said three yes in five seconds.

02:18:51.000 Well, you also learn how bad a lot of regular people are at having actual conversations.

02:18:57.000 A lot of people are just waiting for you to stop talking so they can talk.

02:19:00.000 They're barely paying attention to what you're saying.

02:19:02.000 Yeah.

02:19:03.000 Being a good conversationalist is huge.

02:19:06.000 It's a lot of tools.

02:19:09.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:19:10.000 Did you read books and shit when you first started or did you just go into it? 0.98

02:19:14.000 Or did you study certain people as you went along or when you first started? 0.99

02:19:21.000 No.

02:19:22.000 No.

02:19:23.000 Total trial and error.

02:19:24.000 Just doing it a lot, you know, in a thousand episodes.

02:19:27.000 But we've done a thousand episodes plus another 40 that were like Fight Companions, Podcasts on a Plane, Podcasts on a Hike.

02:19:35.000 There's a bunch of different ones, Fight Breakdowns.

02:19:38.000 How often do you listen to them, or do you watch...

02:19:40.000 I listen to occasionally.

02:19:41.000 I listen to one if I think it sucks, if I think I was bad, or if I think the person said something super interesting.

02:19:48.000 There was one the other day with Sean Carroll.

02:19:50.000 He's an astrophysicist, and he's an expert in quantum theory, and it's just... 0.99

02:19:57.000 The shit he was saying is so hard to grab a hold of. 0.99

02:20:01.000 I had to listen to it several times. 1.00

02:20:02.000 Damn. 0.99

02:20:03.000 Yeah, but it's mostly just me asking questions and him talking. 0.99

02:20:07.000 But it's just the stuff that he's saying is so intense.

02:20:10.000 You've got to kind of listen to it over and over again with my feeble little brain just to try to, like, store it.

02:20:16.000 You know, like, okay, what is he saying?

02:20:18.000 And there's another one.

02:20:19.000 There's this woman that she's on all the time, Rhonda Patrick, Dr. Rhonda Patrick. 0.95

02:20:23.000 What's her specialty? 0.67

02:20:25.000 Nutritional absorption and just how nutrients affect the body.

02:20:30.000 That's like the big thing with her.

02:20:32.000 And she's one of the smartest people I've ever talked to.

02:20:35.000 She's freaky smart, like almost like an alien. 1.00

02:20:38.000 You're talking to her and you realize how dumb you are. 0.98

02:20:40.000 Because you can ask her a question about something and not only can she tell you what it is, she'll recite the studies that were done and what percentages the studies. 0.99

02:20:50.000 And she's just pulling this right out of it in between her ears.

02:20:53.000 Right.

02:20:54.000 No prep.

02:20:55.000 No computer.

02:20:56.000 Straight into...

02:20:56.000 She has notes, but she rarely uses them when she comes on the podcast.

02:20:59.000 She'll have something that she wants to talk about, like some new study on... 0.98

02:21:03.000 You know like broccoli sprouts is one that she went over the last time because she's been experimenting with broccoli sprouts and she's a clinical researcher as well So she does actual scientific research So she's one of them that I listened to like several times just to try to remember what the fuck she was saying So does she hit you up the same way I hit you up with Joe got this broccoli sprouts shit I need to get off Sometimes she'll say, 0.96

02:21:27.000 you know, I'll hit her up, too, because she's a researcher, too, because she's always like, for lack of a better word, balls deep in research. 0.97

02:21:34.000 Right.

02:21:35.000 And she's like, sometimes she doesn't have time to do podcasts.

02:21:38.000 She's in the middle of so many different things that she's working on, actual science, you know?

02:21:43.000 That's the interesting thing about having real scientists on, is you realize, like, what a different world they live in.

02:21:50.000 Absolutely.

02:21:50.000 I would never have a scientist on mine.

02:21:53.000 But you might enjoy it.

02:21:55.000 Maybe down the line, but right now I keep it to people.

02:21:59.000 Yeah, keep it fun and with people I know.

02:22:01.000 I think, yeah, maybe down the line is I... Just fun,

02:22:19.000 right?

02:22:21.000 My favorite podcasts that I do are comedians like yourself or my friends.

02:22:25.000 One thing I can tell you, though, looking at that image of you guys, this is a mistake that we did when we first started out.

02:22:32.000 We did it on couches.

02:22:33.000 The problem with couches is you got to sit forward where the microphone is. 0.99

02:22:37.000 They're not that comfortable.

02:22:38.000 I realized after a while, see how you guys are like, everybody's leaning forward.

02:22:42.000 Look at that.

02:22:42.000 See?

02:22:43.000 On this show, you're sitting in these Ergonomic office chairs.

02:22:48.000 Yeah.

02:22:48.000 You're sitting back, but you're sitting up, and you can sit here for hours and hours at a time.

02:22:52.000 If you do three hours sitting the way Byron Bowers is right there, that shit's going to hurt your back. 0.99

02:22:58.000 Oh, well, we keep about an hour and a half or so. 0.99

02:23:02.000 Hour and a half's good.

02:23:03.000 Yeah.

02:23:03.000 That's right when it starts to twing.

02:23:07.000 But like, office chairs are the way to go.

02:23:10.000 There's a reason why they make these things, especially these ergonomic ones.

02:23:14.000 These are from Ergo Depot.

02:23:15.000 They're called Kapiscos, for people that ask.

02:23:18.000 And they're not a sponsor or anything.

02:23:20.000 They just...

02:23:21.000 They're badass chairs.

02:23:22.000 And they force you to sit up straight. 0.83

02:23:24.000 So you can sit in these for hours and it doesn't fuck with your back. 0.98

02:23:28.000 Solid tip, Joe Rogan. 0.99

02:23:29.000 Solid tip.

02:23:30.000 I appreciate that.

02:23:30.000 I made those mistakes.

02:23:31.000 I had a couch.

02:23:32.000 Yeah.

02:23:33.000 And Ari Shaffir took that couch. 0.99

02:23:34.000 He sold it.

02:23:35.000 I gave it to him and he did something with it.

02:23:37.000 I think he eBayed it or something.

02:23:38.000 Let everybody know.

02:23:39.000 It's the couch.

02:23:39.000 Look at this going on here.

02:23:41.000 What's happening here?

02:23:43.000 We went to Moogfest.

02:23:45.000 What is that?

02:23:46.000 Moogfest.

02:23:47.000 Moog is a company that makes synthesizers.

02:23:50.000 So a lot of bands, you'll see they use Moog products.

02:23:54.000 And so the TheraMini that we use on the podcast, you know, the TheraMini is the instrument that you can operate with waves.

02:24:03.000 Like just you move your hands around it.

02:24:05.000 They make that.

02:24:06.000 And so Tony, my coals, he said, oh, we should go to Moogfest.

02:24:11.000 And so I was like, that's a good idea.

02:24:13.000 Their festival's in Durham.

02:24:15.000 So I reached out to them and they said, sure, come to the festival.

02:24:20.000 We did a couple podcasts there.

02:24:22.000 And then also they have a workshop where you can build your own drum synthesizer.

02:24:30.000 So it's a two-day workshop where they give you all the parts and you build it from scratch and you do all the soldering and screwing.

02:24:38.000 So I built this drum synthesizer in May.

02:24:41.000 Is that what you're doing there?

02:24:42.000 Is that what's in your hand?

02:24:43.000 That's a soldering iron or something like that?

02:24:46.000 At that point, yeah, I'm soldering right there, yeah.

02:24:48.000 Whoa! 0.71

02:24:49.000 So that's like a, what is that?

02:24:51.000 What are those boards called?

02:24:53.000 Circuit board.

02:24:54.000 Circuit board?

02:24:54.000 Yeah.

02:24:55.000 So yeah.

02:24:56.000 Wow.

02:24:56.000 That's crazy.

02:24:56.000 We both worked on it.

02:24:57.000 I didn't do all the work, but I did a lot of, that was my first time soldering anything. 0.97

02:25:03.000 I hadn't done actual building shit with my hands in a long time. 0.98

02:25:09.000 Wow. 0.99

02:25:09.000 But yeah, then when we built them all, everybody built theirs, and then at the end of the class, linked them all together, and they just kind of fucked around with them. 0.99

02:25:21.000 It just made crazy noise. 0.89

02:25:22.000 Wow.

02:25:23.000 Yeah.

02:25:24.000 That's interesting.

02:25:25.000 It was fun, man.

02:25:26.000 That seems pretty badass.

02:25:28.000 Yeah.

02:25:29.000 Making your own sense.

02:25:31.000 So that's a cool, just off a whim, you just decided to go and do that?

02:25:35.000 Well, we were, because, yeah, we just, I looked it up, and it was a bunch of artists that I liked there, too.

02:25:41.000 And so it just, and we reached out to them.

02:25:43.000 It's kind of a chill festival.

02:25:45.000 It has some bigger artists, but it's still pretty small in the way that we were able to hit them up a few weeks before, and they were able to accommodate us with time slots and say, okay...

02:25:55.000 They were already going to have somebody interview Flying Lotus, so they had us interview him, and we interviewed Animal Collective.

02:26:03.000 It was just loose and chill, and it was easy to navigate.

02:26:08.000 It was a fun festival.

02:26:10.000 Yeah.

02:26:11.000 It was just on a whim.

02:26:12.000 So do you use that thing now?

02:26:14.000 That's gotta be kind of satisfying, knowing that you made something.

02:26:17.000 I haven't used it yet, because I had to get it from New York and bring it to Chicago and start using it.

02:26:23.000 I use the theremin more, though.

02:26:25.000 That theremin is fun.

02:26:26.000 So what do you make?

02:26:27.000 Music?

02:26:28.000 We make songs on the podcast.

02:26:31.000 Instead of doing an ad read, we do a jingle for each one.

02:26:37.000 We do an original song for each ad.

02:26:40.000 So you write the songs with their talking points?

02:26:44.000 Well, we do the song, and it's kind of hooky usually, just saying the same.

02:26:49.000 We got Bevel as one of our sponsors, so we go, Bevel, Bevel, Bevel, Bevel, and he'll produce around it.

02:26:54.000 And then we'll do the read after the song.

02:27:00.000 This is the Thera Mini that he's talking about too.

02:27:02.000 Where you just wave your hands over it and it makes music.

02:27:06.000 Huh.

02:27:12.000 The other antenna will control freedom.

02:27:14.000 I know about that hand technique.

02:27:15.000 I usually do a full open hand. 0.99

02:27:18.000 That's Mars Attack shit. 0.98

02:27:19.000 It's real weird. 0.99

02:27:20.000 It's a real weird thing.

02:27:21.000 But it's fun, man.

02:27:22.000 So we've made some beats with that.

02:27:26.000 That's fascinating.

02:27:27.000 I never heard of this thing before.

02:27:29.000 Yeah, we really used that.

02:27:30.000 I mean, Tony, he'll have a drum machine.

02:27:33.000 We got a microphone that does auto-tune and stuff.

02:27:38.000 Wow.

02:27:38.000 So it's really to cover up That we're bad interviewers.

02:27:45.000 It's like it'll be a lull if we can't think of something.

02:27:47.000 It'll just start goofing off and making a song.

02:27:51.000 But don't you think you're probably not an interviewer?

02:27:53.000 You're just having a conversation, right?

02:27:55.000 Yeah.

02:27:55.000 That's what podcasts are, really.

02:27:57.000 Right, absolutely.

02:27:58.000 But I just...

02:28:00.000 I can talk, you know what I mean?

02:28:02.000 But I also want to, when I have a guest, I want to put them in a position to shot, you know what I mean?

02:28:10.000 And so sometimes I'll catch myself Kind of going off. 0.99

02:28:14.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

02:28:15.000 Let me get it back to them. 1.00

02:28:17.000 You know what I mean?

02:28:20.000 That's where you use that thing?

02:28:21.000 Well, no.

02:28:21.000 I'll catch myself going off into a long-ass story and then I realize, let me just bring it back and get it to this guest.

02:28:30.000 Yeah, that's what I mean.

02:28:31.000 Yeah.

02:28:32.000 That's nice.

02:28:32.000 It's fun.

02:28:33.000 It's a fun time.

02:28:34.000 As long as it's fun, man.

02:28:35.000 That's everything.

02:28:36.000 Do you find that a lot of people that are coming to your shows, they listen to the podcast and it sort of gets you closer to them?

02:28:42.000 Yeah, it is. 0.83

02:28:43.000 We get a lot of messages about it, and people say they've bought thereminis because they're like, I didn't even know what a theremini was, but now I want one because they play it so goddamn much.

02:28:55.000 And it's kind of a running theme on the show where the guest, I mean, what is that thing?

02:29:02.000 And they're like, and that's a theremini, so it's just kind of a, it's almost like a, A third host of the show where the person finds out what it is and I explain it pretty much every time.

02:29:15.000 It's a fun time though.

02:29:18.000 And so tell people that's Handsome Rambler, they get that on iTunes.

02:29:22.000 It's Handsome Rambler, iTunes, SoundCloud, the other ones.

02:29:24.000 What is it?

02:29:25.000 What else you got?

02:29:26.000 I don't know.

02:29:26.000 What is it?

02:29:27.000 Google Play.

02:29:29.000 Oh, Google Play, that's right.

02:29:30.000 Google Play.

02:29:30.000 It's amazing how few people bring up Google Play, because half the people have Androids, don't they?

02:29:36.000 But Google Play never gets discussed.

02:29:39.000 And you can get Google Play on an iPhone, too, right?

02:29:42.000 But you can't get iTunes.

02:29:43.000 Can you get iTunes on an Android phone?

02:29:46.000 Can't.

02:29:46.000 You can't get the podcasts on Google Play on the iPhone because there's a podcast app which Google or Apple doesn't usually let you compete with their own apps.

02:29:54.000 They're built in the phone.

02:29:55.000 They don't let you.

02:29:57.000 But they let you use some podcast apps, right?

02:29:59.000 I don't know.

02:30:01.000 There's that comedy podcast app that Ari Shaffir is always talking about.

02:30:03.000 That's a comedy app that's aggregating different comedy things.

02:30:07.000 They wouldn't let you just use an actual podcast app other than theirs.

02:30:11.000 I don't think so.

02:30:12.000 I could be speaking wrong, but I don't think so.

02:30:13.000 Yeah, man.

02:30:14.000 It's a tough road for those android people. 0.70

02:30:16.000 It's a tough road.

02:30:18.000 People just look at you illegitimately if you...

02:30:21.000 Green text message, man.

02:30:22.000 Yeah, they get weirded out by you.

02:30:24.000 I bought one already and it's coming soon.

02:30:26.000 You bought one?

02:30:27.000 Yeah, I bought it off the whim of Red.

02:30:29.000 Oh, I saw that.

02:30:31.000 They made one and they just announced it and I was like, ooh.

02:30:33.000 It looks tremendous.

02:30:34.000 They made an Android phone?

02:30:35.000 Yeah, they just put up a picture where you can only see the corner and the rest of it's all shaded out.

02:30:40.000 I'll see if I can find it real quick.

02:30:41.000 No, that dude Marcus got a hold of one.

02:30:43.000 He did a review.

02:30:43.000 Then I saw the video of it, but I already bought it.

02:30:45.000 Before that, I just kind of went ahead.

02:30:47.000 Because they had some wording on the bottom that there's going to be some special things that you won't be able to buy if you don't buy in this window.

02:30:53.000 It was a whole sales pitch, but I just went ahead and bought it.

02:30:56.000 You bought ahead.

02:30:56.000 So you're going to switch over to Android?

02:30:58.000 Not switch.

02:30:59.000 It'll just be like a second phone.

02:30:59.000 Second whole phone?

02:31:00.000 You're going to have a whole phone?

02:31:01.000 If it doesn't work, I'll sell it and just...

02:31:03.000 But it's supposed to also be a modular something or other for the new cameras they're gonna have coming out, too.

02:31:09.000 So it'll actually be a physical tool.

02:31:10.000 It's more or less just a 5-inch screen that's a tool for these cameras that don't have any screens on them.

02:31:16.000 Yeah, and those red cameras, for people who don't know, there's a lot of television shows that get filmed with those.

02:31:19.000 They're like super high-end, high-definition, top-of-the-food-chain cameras.

02:31:24.000 That new phone does look dope, and it's got like these crazy grips on the side of it.

02:31:29.000 Like, the side of it is not smooth.

02:31:31.000 It's got, like, finger holes.

02:31:32.000 Like, where your hand grips onto it.

02:31:35.000 Well, they had to have been doing great as a camera company when they said, let's do phones also.

02:31:40.000 Yeah, let's get crazy.

02:31:41.000 Holographic display.

02:31:42.000 What?

02:31:43.000 Yeah, well, Marcus is a video.

02:31:45.000 What is Marcus's last name?

02:31:46.000 Brownlee.

02:31:47.000 There's a video where Marcus is watching it, and he's like, whoa.

02:31:50.000 Yeah, he can't show you what it looks like.

02:31:51.000 He said he can't show you.

02:31:52.000 He goes, you can tell. 1.00

02:31:53.000 Shit. 1.00

02:31:54.000 You can see my reaction to it. 0.99

02:31:55.000 And by the way, he's like, the reaction is not even to the finished product, which would be even better than it is now.

02:32:00.000 But you see how the side edges have those weird grips to it?

02:32:04.000 It's really kind of interesting.

02:32:07.000 Yeah, he's messing with it, but you could see when he's holding it in his hand what it looks like.

02:32:14.000 Is that it?

02:32:17.000 I think that's a different video than the one I saw.

02:32:20.000 Maybe it's not.

02:32:21.000 He was on a couch.

02:32:23.000 Yeah, there it is.

02:32:24.000 And you see the thing.

02:32:26.000 It doesn't look like any other phone you've ever seen before.

02:32:29.000 Yeah, there you go.

02:32:30.000 See the sides of it?

02:32:32.000 It's got ripples.

02:32:35.000 Like finger slots.

02:32:38.000 Yeah.

02:32:38.000 It's real big, too.

02:32:40.000 Huge!

02:32:40.000 It's way bigger than the iPhone, like the biggest iPhone now.

02:32:42.000 He's got big hands, so you can't tell as much.

02:32:44.000 I got tiny hands. 1.00

02:32:45.000 I'd be dropping this shit. 1.00

02:32:46.000 Do you? 1.00

02:32:47.000 Which one?

02:32:47.000 You have a regular iPhone?

02:32:49.000 Yeah, I didn't get the big phone.

02:32:50.000 You don't even have the big one. 1.00

02:32:50.000 Yeah, because my hands can't handle that shit. 1.00

02:32:53.000 You gotta two-hand it. 1.00

02:32:55.000 Yeah.

02:32:55.000 But there's so much.

02:32:56.000 It's so worth it if you go online.

02:32:58.000 Like, if you go online and you want to read something online, it's just so much better with a big screen. 0.98

02:33:02.000 It's just the experience and looking at pictures and videos of fireworks and shit. 0.98

02:33:07.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:33:08.000 Just the holographic display is interesting.

02:33:09.000 I'm a little worried, too, that they announced something they won't be able to deliver on, which happens from time to time.

02:33:14.000 Oh, Jamie's Mistress Capical.

02:33:16.000 Look at the size difference.

02:33:17.000 That thing's giant.

02:33:19.000 The red marketing person went from really excited to...

02:33:22.000 Got mad at Jamie.

02:33:23.000 We'll see. 1.00

02:33:24.000 Fuck you. 1.00

02:33:25.000 Fuck you, Jamie. 1.00

02:33:26.000 A full-on hype piece until... 1.00

02:33:28.000 I don't know if they're going to be able to do it.

02:33:29.000 You're going to get a bunch of eggs on Twitter with zero posts. 1.00

02:33:33.000 Like, fuck you, young Jamie. 1.00

02:33:34.000 Piece of shit. 1.00

02:33:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:33:37.000 That Galaxy Note 8 looks insane, too.

02:33:40.000 That's coming out real soon.

02:33:41.000 That's, like, almost out.

02:33:42.000 They don't still make the airplane announcements about the things, do they?

02:33:46.000 No.

02:33:46.000 That was a 7. Yeah.

02:33:47.000 They don't make it anymore.

02:33:48.000 Pretty much everybody's gotten rid of that thing. 0.99

02:33:50.000 If you're a holdout, you're like, I don't give a fuck. 0.97

02:33:53.000 I charge it, but I charge it in a... 1.00

02:33:55.000 I take a pot from my stove. 0.99

02:33:58.000 I charge it in that fucking thing just in case you catch this fire. 0.99

02:34:02.000 Oh. 1.00

02:34:03.000 Put it in the fireplace.

02:34:05.000 Did you see that little video showing how people to, if they're in the floods, how to still charge their phones off of a 9-volt battery?

02:34:12.000 No.

02:34:13.000 In a key.

02:34:13.000 In a key, yeah.

02:34:15.000 What?

02:34:15.000 It looks sketchy, but it works.

02:34:17.000 You can do it?

02:34:17.000 How do you do it?

02:34:18.000 Yeah, 9-volt battery.

02:34:22.000 In a car charger.

02:34:25.000 I'm on the internet too much.

02:34:30.000 I need to unplug.

02:34:32.000 It does happen.

02:34:33.000 Oh, it was a different lady that showed it. 1.00

02:34:36.000 Okay, so she's got a car charger, and she takes the car charger and sticks it on the end of a 9-volt battery, like one of the slots.

02:34:46.000 And then puts a key in the other slot.

02:34:47.000 I think you've got to touch it together to get the circuit.

02:34:50.000 What if this lady just burst into flames and lost her eyelids? 1.00

02:34:52.000 So you can get electrocuted by doing this, is what I've heard.

02:34:55.000 So yeah, be careful.

02:34:56.000 Even from a 9-volt battery, you can?

02:34:57.000 It obviously won't be a big charge, I don't think, but it will charge the phone if you need it.

02:35:01.000 So she touches the two of them together.

02:35:03.000 Wow, that works.

02:35:04.000 That's crazy.

02:35:06.000 That's nuts.

02:35:08.000 So if you're in a pinch and all you've got is a 9-volt battery and you need to call 911...

02:35:11.000 Why don't they make a battery adapter for an iPhone?

02:35:14.000 Why don't they make a little thing where you can plug a 9-volt battery into it? 0.98

02:35:18.000 Just go to a store, buy a battery, plug that fucker in, and charge your phone. 0.97

02:35:22.000 Does anybody have that? 0.99

02:35:25.000 How do they not have that? 1.00

02:35:27.000 Because they have those banks, you know, those power banks that you can plug your shit into. 0.98

02:35:33.000 It seems like somebody would have this. 0.98

02:35:36.000 Have you seen that new luggage that you could ride? 1.00

02:35:41.000 Have you seen that shit? 1.00

02:35:43.000 Turns it into a scooter? 1.00

02:35:44.000 Yes. 0.99

02:35:45.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.99

02:35:46.000 How much is that? 0.99

02:35:47.000 I don't know.

02:35:48.000 I retweeted it the other day, though.

02:35:50.000 It was on Mashable. 0.98

02:35:50.000 And I was like, get the fuck out of here. 0.98

02:35:52.000 That thing goes eight miles an hour. 1.00

02:35:53.000 You sit on that fucker and you ride around the airport with it. 1.00

02:35:57.000 That's legit. 1.00

02:36:00.000 That's one way to stunt. 0.93

02:36:01.000 That's one way to handle a layover.

02:36:05.000 Drive around the airport until your luggage runs out of batteries.

02:36:08.000 But you can also use the battery charging of that, the battery, and you use it to charge your phone.

02:36:14.000 Like, you can plug your phone into that.

02:36:15.000 That alone is worth it.

02:36:17.000 Like, always having battery power right there, connected to your luggage.

02:36:21.000 That's a lot of these luggages are doing that now.

02:36:24.000 Look at that. 1.00

02:36:25.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.95

02:36:27.000 And that's a carry-on? 0.99

02:36:28.000 Yes!

02:36:29.000 These people are having a good old time.

02:36:30.000 I have to go.

02:36:31.000 Oh, come on. 0.87

02:36:34.000 I gotta get online immediately and buy this.

02:36:36.000 Come on.

02:36:37.000 What is it called?

02:36:38.000 A mod?

02:36:40.000 Moto bag?

02:36:40.000 Come on.

02:36:41.000 Look.

02:36:41.000 See?

02:36:42.000 She's fitting her stuff in there, and then she drives off.

02:36:44.000 Whee! 1.00

02:36:45.000 But look at this.

02:36:46.000 She can plug into it.

02:36:47.000 That's what I like.

02:36:48.000 I want to see you ride that in an airport, though. 0.97

02:36:50.000 I think it would be fucking hilarious. 0.93

02:36:52.000 You don't think I'd do it? 0.93

02:36:53.000 I don't know.

02:36:53.000 You don't know if I'd do it?

02:36:55.000 What?

02:36:55.000 It does that?

02:36:56.000 What was that?

02:36:58.000 She had a gyroscope.

02:36:59.000 Is that real?

02:37:00.000 I'm getting that.

02:37:01.000 Back up a little bit.

02:37:02.000 Right there.

02:37:04.000 Oh, they're just next to a Segway just to show you.

02:37:07.000 Is there a standing option?

02:37:10.000 Can you stand up?

02:37:12.000 Can the handlebars go up and then...

02:37:15.000 Oh, see, this is why that doesn't work because I got that fail. 1.00

02:37:19.000 Yeah, but this is a guy that's just rolling around on it like an asshole. 0.99

02:37:24.000 Oh, this is that dude that's on YouTube. 1.00

02:37:26.000 Who's that guy?

02:37:27.000 Casey something.

02:37:28.000 Yeah, he's famous on YouTube.

02:37:30.000 Is that his apartment?

02:37:31.000 That's his office.

02:37:33.000 Whoa.

02:37:34.000 What is he doing in there?

02:37:35.000 Making a Frankenstein's monster? 0.99

02:37:36.000 He makes all kinds of videos and films and shit. 0.98

02:37:38.000 He's been making movies on YouTube and HBO for 15 years or something. 0.99

02:37:42.000 He's got a crazy workshop, man.

02:37:45.000 Is he in Brooklyn or something? 0.65

02:37:46.000 Is he one of those dudes?

02:37:48.000 Manhattan, Broadway, somewhere like that.

02:37:51.000 Interesting.

02:37:51.000 Yeah, he's got nine screens.

02:37:53.000 Godfather's always on right there.

02:37:54.000 Oh yeah?

02:37:55.000 The Godfather is always on?

02:37:57.000 Godfather 1 and 2 on a constant loop.

02:38:00.000 It's like a screensaver.

02:38:02.000 I'm about to go buy the scooter, man.

02:38:04.000 Let's wrap this up.

02:38:06.000 Hannibal, tell everybody where you're going to be if they want to see you go do stand-up.

02:38:09.000 Oh, I'll be...

02:38:10.000 I'm going to be in...

02:38:13.000 Camden, New Jersey, and Bristow, Virginia with Lauryn Hill and Nas, September 14th and 15th.

02:38:21.000 Do you talk to Lauryn Hill about taxes?

02:38:24.000 I haven't talked to her.

02:38:25.000 We haven't done any dates together yet.

02:38:27.000 Are you going to ask her about taxes?

02:38:29.000 I don't know.

02:38:30.000 They locked her up. 0.99

02:38:31.000 They did lock her up for taxes. 1.00

02:38:32.000 That's a weird backstage convo for a first meeting.

02:38:35.000 Hey, so, uh, taxes and stuff, that's crazy.

02:38:39.000 Locked her up.

02:38:41.000 In a jail.

02:38:42.000 In jail.

02:38:43.000 For like a while.

02:38:44.000 For a couple years, I think.

02:38:45.000 Yeah.

02:38:46.000 But yeah.

02:38:46.000 Now she's out.

02:38:47.000 She's out and touring.

02:38:49.000 Somehow it's me, Lauryn Hill, Nas.

02:38:51.000 That's amazing.

02:38:52.000 On a tour.

02:38:52.000 I think Chromix is one of the other acts.

02:38:55.000 We'll be in Seattle, Bay Area, Miami, San Diego, playing Hollywood Bowl, October 5th.

02:39:03.000 Beautiful.

02:39:04.000 And all my dates, HannibalBarris.com.

02:39:06.000 So check me out this fall.

02:39:08.000 Check them out, ladies and gentlemen.

02:39:10.000 Thanks, yo.

02:39:11.000 My pleasure.

02:39:12.000 All right, folks. 0.99

02:39:12.000 This fucking podcast is over. 0.99

02:39:15.000 Live your lives. 1.00

02:39:16.000 Thank you so much.

02:39:17.000 Bye-bye.

02:39:17.000 Thank you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 30, 2017

Joe Rogan Experience #1005 - Hannibal Buress

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