The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1033 - Owen Benjamin

00:00:00.000 Ladies and gentlemen, how's everybody?

00:00:03.000 Friday night, this Friday night, as in today's Wednesday, November 1st.

00:00:08.000 And this Friday the 3rd, I'm at the theater at Madison Square Garden with Ian Edwards, but that's sold out.

00:00:14.000 Then the 17th, I'm at the Denver Belco Theater for two shows.

00:00:18.000 First show is almost sold out real close.

00:00:22.000 And there are some tickets available for the second show.

00:00:24.000 And then Saturday night in Phoenix at the Comerica Theater, that's almost sold out as well.

00:00:31.000 And then I got shit for a while.

00:00:36.000 I got some shows that are coming up in December, but really the big one is the Wiltern.

00:00:41.000 We're doing New Year's Eve at the Wiltern with powerful Ian Edwards and myself.

00:00:48.000 New Year's Eve, two shows.

00:00:50.000 Second show is sold out, but quite honestly, the first show is going to be more fun because it's going to be an actual show.

00:00:55.000 Whereas the second show, there's going to be, there's always an asshole with one of those little horns that blow on New Year's. 0.86

00:01:02.000 It's like, look at me the time, the new time.

00:01:07.000 Anyway, we're going to have a good time.

00:01:09.000 JoeRogan.net forward slash tour.

00:01:12.000 And I am about to announce within the next week or so a shit ton of new dates.

00:01:17.000 I'm doing a gang of shit.

00:01:18.000 Gang. 0.66

00:01:20.000 And that will be, again, in the following, like maybe no later than a month from now, all of it.

00:01:29.000 I think some of them are going to actually be in January, so it'll probably be quicker than that.

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00:04:59.000 And last but not least, we're at the home stretch.

00:05:03.000 Ladies and gentlemen, we're brought to you by Track R. What is Track R?

00:05:09.000 Track R. Track R. Do you ever lose your wallet, your phone, your keys?

00:05:14.000 Hmm?

00:05:15.000 Hmm?

00:05:17.000 Why does leaving the house always turn into the world's most annoying scavenger hunt?

00:05:21.000 I fucking do this all the time.

00:05:24.000 I am on the way out the door.

00:05:25.000 I'm like, where's my phone?

00:05:26.000 Fuck.

00:05:27.000 And I'll look in my pockets.

00:05:28.000 No.

00:05:29.000 And I'll look in my car.

00:05:30.000 No.

00:05:31.000 And then I run back inside.

00:05:33.000 And I'm like, shit, fuck, shit, fuck.

00:05:34.000 And I run around the bathroom.

00:05:36.000 Where did I go?

00:05:38.000 Well, if you're always doing that, if you're one of those people just like me, it stopped being cute a long fucking time ago, right?

00:05:46.000 Now you just annoy everyone who knows you, all your friends, all your family, all your co-workers, because you're that fucking dipshit that keeps losing things.

00:05:56.000 Well, life is supposed to be a journey of discovery, ladies and gentlemen.

00:06:00.000 Of the big, meaningful stuff, like love and purpose and experience.

00:06:05.000 Not trying to find your fucking phone or your keys.

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00:06:45.000 Wallet, keys, maybe your cat, stick it right on his asshole. 1.00

00:06:50.000 He can't do nothing about that.

00:06:51.000 Because he's a cat.

00:06:53.000 When you misplace an item that has the Track R pixel attached to it, you can use your smartphone and a 90 decibel alert will help you find it in seconds.

00:07:03.000 You might even deafen your cat as a bonus.

00:07:06.000 No, don't do that.

00:07:08.000 Don't put it on your fucking cat.

00:07:09.000 Look, your cat will find his way back.

00:07:11.000 I don't like the fact they have this in the copy because it makes it look like it's my idea.

00:07:16.000 Don't put it on your cat.

00:07:18.000 Let your cat find his way home.

00:07:20.000 Your cat has like a geosynchronous tracking unit built into his brain.

00:07:25.000 They find you.

00:07:27.000 Anyway, if you lose your phone, just press the button on your Track R pixel and your phone rings.

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00:08:21.000 Ladies and gentlemen, my guest today is the great and powerful Owen Benjamin.

00:08:27.000 He's a loose cannon, and I thought he'd be the perfect guy to bring in for the first ever podcast that I did right after I got done with Sober October.

00:08:37.000 Sobriety was fun.

00:08:38.000 It was awesome.

00:08:39.000 I enjoyed it.

00:08:40.000 But I think I'm better as a podcaster when I'm not sober.

00:08:45.000 So enjoy.

00:08:46.000 We had a good time.

00:08:48.000 We spoke about some very deep and powerful shit.

00:08:51.000 And he's just a fucking good dude.

00:08:53.000 Owen Benjamin is a good dude.

00:08:55.000 And one of the things that I really like about Owen is that he's one of the rare actual loose cannons in this world.

00:09:04.000 One of the rare in the comedy world.

00:09:05.000 Everyone is so worried about protecting their career.

00:09:09.000 But Owen, he works part-time as an arborist.

00:09:12.000 He chops down trees and shit.

00:09:15.000 He's an animal.

00:09:16.000 He lives in the mountains.

00:09:17.000 He's a rare dude, and I love him.

00:09:19.000 So please welcome Owen Benjamin.

00:09:22.000 Joe Rogan podcast.

00:09:23.000 Check it out.

00:09:24.000 The Joe Rogan experience.

00:09:26.000 Train by day.

00:09:27.000 Joe Rogan podcast by night.

00:09:29.000 All day.

00:09:32.000 And we're live.

00:09:33.000 Today is Wednesday, November 1st, which means sober October is over.

00:09:39.000 And I have saved my indulgence to be here with you, Owen Benjamin.

00:09:42.000 It's such an honor.

00:09:44.000 We're going to drink some William Wolf bourbon.

00:09:48.000 I'm not sure where I got this.

00:09:48.000 It's perfect.

00:09:50.000 I believe somebody gave it to me.

00:09:52.000 I hope it's not poison.

00:09:54.000 There you go, buddy.

00:09:56.000 You got to trust the wolf.

00:09:57.000 Yeah, we're going to have a little of this, then we'll spark up a dube. 0.99

00:10:00.000 There it is.

00:10:00.000 Get the party started.

00:10:02.000 Thank you.

00:10:02.000 Cheers, sir, brother.

00:10:03.000 Congrats on October, man.

00:10:04.000 Thank you.

00:10:08.000 I had a not-sober October.

00:10:10.000 I bet you did.

00:10:11.000 I saw some of your tweets.

00:10:16.000 Oh, Benjamin likes to go off.

00:10:18.000 I appreciate that.

00:10:19.000 You know what, man?

00:10:20.000 That's a fucking, that's a lost thing.

00:10:22.000 The ability to go off.

00:10:24.000 Crazy shit.

00:10:24.000 Yeah.

00:10:25.000 Everybody's so goddamn scared of repercussions, of being protested.

00:10:31.000 I mean, everybody's being hashtag called out.

00:10:34.000 I know, and it's just like it immobilizes people.

00:10:36.000 It's like, that's why I liked season two, this season of Stranger Things.

00:10:40.000 You watching that?

00:10:42.000 I like Hopper, like the cop.

00:10:45.000 Because he'll get pissed and be like, sorry, it's because I just care so damn much.

00:10:48.000 You could do that shit in the 80s.

00:10:50.000 Yeah, you could.

00:10:53.000 Oh, sweet taste of marijuana.

00:10:54.000 That is my first marijuana in 31 days.

00:10:57.000 I mean, try it on this.

00:10:58.000 Oh, that's nice.

00:10:59.000 How's it feel?

00:11:00.000 How's it feel?

00:11:01.000 Feels good to be back.

00:11:03.000 Feels good.

00:11:04.000 I missed it.

00:11:05.000 I tell you what, though, I enjoyed being sober.

00:11:08.000 Not that I needed to be sober, not like I was a junkie with a problem, but it's nice to take a reset.

00:11:13.000 I'm going to do it every year.

00:11:15.000 I'm going to do sober October every year.

00:11:17.000 You heard us good.

00:11:18.000 So gear yourselves up, ladies and gentlemen.

00:11:21.000 11 months from now, join on in.

00:11:24.000 Maybe Owen won't.

00:11:26.000 What do you think?

00:11:27.000 No, I'm in, man.

00:11:29.000 Let's do it.

00:11:29.000 I'll do Sober October.

00:11:30.000 Because this year I just hit my foot with an axe.

00:11:36.000 You so are living in the boonies, man.

00:11:38.000 I don't know anybody in LA that could tell me that where I wouldn't call the police and say, I don't know why the fuck he's swinging an axe, but please check.

00:11:47.000 Well, yeah, because my brother does tree work, so I usually wear the boots, you know?

00:11:52.000 But we have fires every night.

00:11:55.000 And I really like tinkering to make the fire good.

00:11:58.000 And then I, you know, crack some beers, and then my family hangs out, and then they go inside, and they crack more beers.

00:12:03.000 And I had to chop some more wood, and I didn't put on the good boots, and my axe just careened off it and hit me in the foot.

00:12:13.000 And I didn't have time to get stitches, so I just put a maxi pad on it, and it worked.

00:12:19.000 How big was the cut?

00:12:20.000 It's pretty legit.

00:12:21.000 They say you should use whenever possible.

00:12:24.000 If you can't get anywhere, you could use crazy glue.

00:12:26.000 I've never tried that, but I know a lot of people who have.

00:12:29.000 And I know fighters who have gotten cut in camp and just used crazy glue, crazy glued up the cut and then made it to the fight.

00:12:37.000 That's awesome.

00:12:37.000 Didn't let anybody know that they had a pre-existing injury.

00:12:41.000 Those guys are hard as nails.

00:12:43.000 There's a lot of them that they'll go into the octagon with some crazy shit.

00:12:46.000 What is this?

00:12:47.000 Flea, what happened to him?

00:12:48.000 Flea plays doctor with super glue.

00:12:50.000 Huh.

00:12:51.000 Most people cut themselves badly, head to the emergency room.

00:12:53.000 But when Red Hot Chili Pepper's bassist Flea cut his thumb open, aggressively strumming his guitar during a show, he didn't have time for surgery.

00:13:00.000 So keeping it crafty, he picked up a bottle of superglue, sealed the cut like any good shirtless rock star would.

00:13:06.000 Yeah, I would do that in a heartbeat.

00:13:08.000 like cuts or like wounds, I'm all about just like doing shit like that.

00:13:11.000 It's like broken bones.

00:13:13.000 That's when I know I got to set it or something.

00:13:13.000 Yeah.

00:13:15.000 That seems like a flea move.

00:13:15.000 Oh, yeah.

00:13:17.000 He seems like a psycho.

00:13:18.000 Yeah.

00:13:19.000 He pulled it out of his socket.

00:13:23.000 Yeah.

00:13:24.000 I remember they did an article once.

00:13:26.000 He was talking about how important his pre-performance shits are.

00:13:29.000 And I was like, yeah, they are important.

00:13:31.000 But why is everybody, why are we ashamed of bowel movements?

00:13:34.000 Why are we ashamed of potty?

00:13:35.000 I don't know.

00:13:36.000 We should be honored to get rid of toxins.

00:13:38.000 Jamie and I have been talking about it openly because you've got some new bathrooms for the studio that have those Japanese toilets that shoot hot water up your butt. 0.95

00:13:45.000 Oh, yeah.

00:13:46.000 And they're warm.

00:13:48.000 So you sit in the toilet, it's heated like right away.

00:13:50.000 It's like a warm, comforting, like, come in, come in and shit.

00:13:54.000 Come in and just release, relax those bowels and let it go. 1.00

00:13:58.000 That's awesome, man.

00:13:58.000 Let it go.

00:13:59.000 I'm real meat and potatoes with my shits.

00:14:01.000 I just, I get in and I get out.

00:14:02.000 But you know, if there's another level to it, like what you're describing, I want in.

00:14:07.000 Sometimes I'm disturbed, though, after it shoots hot water up my ass for five minutes, and then I use toilet paper and white it down, and still I see poo.

00:14:14.000 I'm like, well, what the hell?

00:14:15.000 Right.

00:14:16.000 I haven't had any of those yet.

00:14:17.000 It's been all clean every time.

00:14:19.000 Maybe your daughter's better than mine.

00:14:19.000 I like it.

00:14:20.000 Is there like a lot of water?

00:14:23.000 Yeah.

00:14:24.000 You can like five different demons.

00:14:25.000 It can spread wider.

00:14:27.000 Is it like gentle or is it like it's just right.

00:14:30.000 It's just perfect.

00:14:31.000 Yeah.

00:14:32.000 It shoots all over the place.

00:14:34.000 You can get it to go all over the place.

00:14:37.000 Do Zars have more than one, can it aim to more than one spot, like with a button?

00:14:37.000 I forget.

00:14:41.000 Yeah, yeah, you can move it.

00:14:44.000 But it's the same jet, right?

00:14:45.000 But then there's also a front jet, which is obviously for women, but for children.

00:14:48.000 I don't know where that should be.

00:14:49.000 Hammer your balls.

00:14:50.000 You can do a ball shot.

00:14:51.000 I saw some dude on TV that got hit, no, on the internet, rather, a video clip of someone who, the guy in front of him, he was a catcher, and the guy in front of him just barely clipped the ball and it careened perfectly into his nutsack.

00:15:04.000 And you see this fastball, this hard fastball, just target his nutsack and bang.

00:15:11.000 And even though it's like an animated gift that's only a couple seconds long, as soon as that ball hits the ground, you see his body just giving like, no.

00:15:19.000 It was like precision.

00:15:20.000 Like I played a lacrosse and that happened once.

00:15:22.000 Oh, this is not it?

00:15:23.000 No, no, no.

00:15:24.000 No?

00:15:25.000 Oh, I thought.

00:15:25.000 Well, I should have retweeted it.

00:15:27.000 I was being selfish with it.

00:15:29.000 You were being selfish with the ball hit?

00:15:30.000 No, sometimes I don't retweet things, even though they're good.

00:15:33.000 And then I go, why didn't I retweet that?

00:15:35.000 And then I try to go back and find them, and they're just lost in this sea of replies, at replies, where they just get, I can't, here it is.

00:15:43.000 I think this is it.

00:15:44.000 Watch this.

00:15:44.000 Yep, that's it.

00:15:45.000 Boom! 0.99

00:15:46.000 And that might have to be.

00:15:48.000 Look at them go down.

00:15:49.000 Oh, see, bam.

00:15:51.000 I mean, it doesn't get any more perfect because it hits side dick.

00:15:54.000 See, if you get hit with a cup.

00:15:57.000 Today's cups are so much better than the cups we had when we were kids.

00:16:00.000 Because the cups we had, if you played, did you play any contact sports before?

00:16:05.000 So when they have to put those cups in the jock strap, those fuckers kind of floated around a little bit. 0.98

00:16:10.000 Oh, they were terrible.

00:16:11.000 I don't even wear one half the time.

00:16:11.000 Yeah.

00:16:12.000 I can go cross. 0.63

00:16:13.000 I stopped wearing a cup.

00:16:15.000 Because they would just start hurting my balls.

00:16:18.000 Because that little line part, like the edge would sometimes just get above the ball.

00:16:22.000 And then one time I got hit by like a 90-mile an hour shot.

00:16:26.000 Racros ball goes 90 miles an hour.

00:16:29.000 Yeah, and it's just hard rubber.

00:16:31.000 90 miles an hour.

00:16:32.000 Dude, I use those things for massage. 0.93

00:16:34.000 Oh, they're crazy.

00:16:35.000 You ever take one of those lacrosse balls?

00:16:36.000 You lie on your back?

00:16:37.000 Folks, if anybody, if you have like back soreness, and like especially if you don't want to pay someone to massage you, if you can take the pain, you can do it yourself.

00:16:47.000 You take a lacrosse ball or we have those other balls.

00:16:54.000 Who makes them?

00:16:55.000 Rogue makes them.

00:16:55.000 Rogue?

00:16:55.000 Yes.

00:16:56.000 Rogue Athletics makes them.

00:16:58.000 They're fucking awesome.

00:16:59.000 They're called WAD Supernovas.

00:17:03.000 Jamie, go grab one of those.

00:17:04.000 We got it right outside the door.

00:17:06.000 Do you know what that thing is?

00:17:07.000 Oh, dude, these guys can throw like 120, right?

00:17:10.000 They're out of their mind.

00:17:12.000 Oh, it's psychotic because they got the leverage of it.

00:17:14.000 And it's also a sport where you get super good at, and then what?

00:17:17.000 You don't even have a fucking career.

00:17:19.000 If that guy, I mean, there's guys that are probably like just fucking aces at that shit, but they can't go into the NHL or the, I mean, there's nothing there for them.

00:17:19.000 Totally.

00:17:29.000 There's nothing.

00:17:29.000 Nothing there, Jamie.

00:17:31.000 Anyway, so they make them.

00:17:33.000 I think Kelly Starrett invented it.

00:17:35.000 I'm sorry if that's not correct.

00:17:38.000 But they, I know Kelly Starr was one of the first guys to suggest using a lacrosse ball.

00:17:43.000 And you take this lacrosse ball, that's the WAD supernova.

00:17:46.000 But you can use a lacrosse ball.

00:17:46.000 Nice.

00:17:48.000 I use one all the time.

00:17:49.000 I take it with me on the road because it's super little.

00:17:51.000 But you take one of those hard little fuckers and just lay it on the ground and then bridge over it. 1.00

00:17:56.000 You know, like a wrestling bridge.

00:17:58.000 Just put all your weight into that lacrosse ball and just roll it up and down like any kind of knot you have in your back.

00:18:03.000 It's painful as fuck.

00:18:04.000 Yeah, man, I need some backs.

00:18:06.000 Like that's the 6'7 back is not fun after a certain age.

00:18:11.000 Right.

00:18:11.000 It just starts.

00:18:13.000 Backs are temporary.

00:18:14.000 They're like tires.

00:18:16.000 You can wear those fuckers out. 0.94

00:18:17.000 You have to be careful and you have to do maintenance work.

00:18:20.000 Like backs are like one of the most common things that people injure and it changed their life.

00:18:25.000 Like if you hurt your hand, it sucks, but it probably isn't going to change your life like a back thing will.

00:18:31.000 Like if you break your hand, have you ever broken a hand?

00:18:33.000 It's weird.

00:18:34.000 I broke my arm once.

00:18:35.000 I remember I was a little kid and I had it in a cast.

00:18:37.000 I was like, God, I had to learn how to write with my left hand.

00:18:40.000 And it really sunk in my head.

00:18:41.000 It's good for strokes, though.

00:18:42.000 If you're ambidextrous, it lowers your chance of having a stroke.

00:18:45.000 Really?

00:18:46.000 Yes.

00:18:47.000 My uncle is an anesthetist or anesthesiologist.

00:18:51.000 And he was like, dude, just write your name with your left hand a lot.

00:18:54.000 And he said that there's something about that that keeps the neuroplasticity better.

00:18:58.000 Is it only writing your name?

00:18:59.000 Is it only writing or other things as well?

00:19:01.000 I think it's just having the skill hand switch.

00:19:03.000 Oh, yeah.

00:19:04.000 That's funny you said because they say that that's one of the best ways to get good at a skill is to practice it with your opposite side.

00:19:10.000 Interesting.

00:19:11.000 Yeah, like they say that with striking, that when you learn how to strike, say like if you stand orthodox means your left hand is forward.

00:19:20.000 When I say striking, I mean martial arts.

00:19:22.000 When you stand with your left hand forward, usually guys do that because they're powerful in their right hand.

00:19:28.000 But if they switched it, like if you're a right-handed person and you put the power, the back hand in the left side, it comes out super awkward.

00:19:36.000 Like, to me, to this day, I've been doing martial arts most of my life, and my left hand is just straight dog shit.

00:19:43.000 If I have to just throw a left hand in the back, it looks so awkward and clunky, but my right hand is pretty stout.

00:19:50.000 Yeah, for piano, it's like that with the melody.

00:19:53.000 Like, I try to play songs where the melody is on the left hand, and it's so hard that I have to almost relearn piano.

00:19:59.000 I would imagine.

00:20:00.000 Yeah, I mean, because like you're thinking in a language, right?

00:20:04.000 You almost don't think.

00:20:05.000 I played since I was so young, and it's so fast that you can't possibly think.

00:20:10.000 And so then, like, sometimes I'll forget the way like a box song's going, and it's almost like that South Park with Cartman, like you have to start from the beginning.

00:20:17.000 Yeah.

00:20:17.000 Because I don't know how to just jump in because I don't, it's just, it's just instinct.

00:20:21.000 I don't even know what I'm doing.

00:20:23.000 Well, you're the only argument for keeping the piano on stage, the improv.

00:20:28.000 Me and Craig Robinson.

00:20:29.000 But Craig Robinson sometimes brings keyboards with him places.

00:20:32.000 That's a good point.

00:20:33.000 You're not really a bring a keyboard on the road guy, are you?

00:20:36.000 If they don't have a piano, no, usually they provide it, but every now and then they just won't.

00:20:39.000 They're like, they just do.

00:20:41.000 Do you rent one when you're in town or how do you work it?

00:20:43.000 Like the improvs and funny buns usually do that, but if I'm doing like an obscure club, they'll be like, well, it's a contract, you know?

00:20:50.000 And I don't mind because I just usually go to like Best Buy or something, and then I'll either return it or give it to a kid or something.

00:20:55.000 It's funny when someone just doesn't honor a contract.

00:20:58.000 I had a guy once.

00:20:59.000 And they think you're the dick for it.

00:21:01.000 I had a club once and like specifically we laid out that everyone has to have a seat.

00:21:06.000 You can't have standing room like in the back of this place.

00:21:09.000 And he was like, well, then you're going to make less money.

00:21:12.000 I'm like, that's okay because this way at least I know the show will be good.

00:21:15.000 Like I went to see Doug Stanhope, me and a couple friends.

00:21:18.000 And it was at a place where I had to stand a long time ago.

00:21:21.000 And I remember going, oh, this blows.

00:21:24.000 Like, this isn't even half as good as sitting down.

00:21:27.000 It's terrible.

00:21:28.000 So from then on, like, I used to go to House of Blues.

00:21:32.000 Those were infamous for it.

00:21:33.000 They'd have a big seating area in the front, and then to the sides, they'd have this open bar area.

00:21:38.000 And you would just go on stage like talking at a bar.

00:21:41.000 I mean, it was like people were just talking.

00:21:44.000 And they're moving.

00:21:45.000 They're standing.

00:21:46.000 Look, and you can do that, by the way.

00:21:48.000 You can get into that road gig mentality and go up there, but it's a different thing.

00:21:54.000 The road gig mentality, you got to be prepared for the road gig.

00:21:56.000 Yeah, you have to be prepared for not getting crowd consent.

00:21:59.000 Yeah, you just.

00:22:00.000 You know, and I like a lot of crowd consent where I'm like, listen, you got to kiss back or we can't do doggy.

00:22:06.000 You also have to be willing to, you have to understand that there's going to be like randoms.

00:22:12.000 John, you want beer?

00:22:13.000 You want a shot?

00:22:13.000 Totally.

00:22:14.000 You're going to hear that.

00:22:15.000 You're going to hear that in the middle of punchlines, setups.

00:22:18.000 If there's anything that requires quiet, like there's any like weird bit where you have like a long pause, like throw that bit out.

00:22:25.000 Right.

00:22:25.000 Nuance.

00:22:26.000 I can't do nuance.

00:22:27.000 That ain't going to work.

00:22:28.000 But you could do it.

00:22:29.000 But anyway, this guy, he just said, well, I could sell more tickets this way.

00:22:32.000 I got there.

00:22:33.000 We make this work out, right?

00:22:35.000 Sign the contracts, the whole deal.

00:22:37.000 I get there.

00:22:38.000 People are standing.

00:22:38.000 I mean, like hundreds of people.

00:22:40.000 Yeah.

00:22:41.000 And I go, what the fuck, dude?

00:22:42.000 And he goes, well, you know, when blah, blah, blah plays here, you know, she always lets people stand in the back.

00:22:47.000 I go, what does that mean?

00:22:48.000 We have a contract.

00:22:50.000 I go, you know, we had a contract, right?

00:22:51.000 And he just looks at me.

00:22:52.000 And I go, come on, man.

00:22:54.000 What the fuck?

00:22:55.000 This is his excuse.

00:22:55.000 He's like, but you get more money.

00:22:57.000 He just looked at me.

00:22:58.000 He's like, we're here.

00:22:59.000 We're doing the show.

00:23:00.000 This is what we did.

00:23:00.000 I sold extra tickets.

00:23:01.000 I fucked you.

00:23:02.000 It's everybody.

00:23:03.000 Oh, you motherfucker.

00:23:04.000 You're like, I'm not motivated by the same shit as you, man.

00:23:07.000 I want the audience to have a good experience.

00:23:08.000 You just want more cash.

00:23:09.000 Yeah, we still made plenty of money.

00:23:11.000 We're still, we're talking about the difference between like, I think it was like 300 to 500 seats.

00:23:17.000 So 300 seats seating or he can do 500 and he has 200 standing.

00:23:20.000 Yeah.

00:23:21.000 But they filled the whole back of this area because he had a big bar area, like a big, long area, a whole back area to it, too.

00:23:27.000 It's mostly a place they have bands.

00:23:29.000 Right.

00:23:30.000 You know, so I've eaten shit with standing only because I didn't make the adjustment pre-show.

00:23:37.000 You know, so in my mind, I'm like, I'm doing stand-up comedy.

00:23:37.000 Oh.

00:23:39.000 And then I go out there and I'm like, I should be a Pink Foy cover band tonight.

00:23:43.000 And I'm like, who wants to hear the wall?

00:23:44.000 You got to have a different kind of energy.

00:23:47.000 You have almost like a carnival barker energy.

00:23:50.000 Yeah.

00:23:50.000 You know what I mean?

00:23:51.000 Like, you got to get those people interested and paying attention.

00:23:53.000 Yeah, like when I was a Renaissance fair heckler in high school, that was my job, like in a, in a stock.

00:24:00.000 And people would pay money to throw tomatoes at me. 0.56

00:24:02.000 So it was all just figuring out what someone's vulnerability was and just exploiting it.

00:24:06.000 And just, it was carnival barking.

00:24:08.000 I was working with only the guy's name was Boob and he was a boob, full name, legal, I think. 0.74

00:24:14.000 And he was a just gypsies. 1.00

00:24:16.000 They're all gypsies. 1.00

00:24:16.000 And I was just trying to beat the joust. 1.00

00:24:21.000 And I'd get big crowds because it was all about letting them win occasionally because you couldn't just be like, oh, that tomato didn't hurt.

00:24:27.000 You have to be like humiliated.

00:24:28.000 Right, right, right.

00:24:29.000 Even play it up, right?

00:24:30.000 Dude, I'd get hammered and let him slap me in the face for like 20 bucks.

00:24:34.000 Yeah, dude, at 17, I'd drink mead and just be out.

00:24:37.000 Dude, you get hurt that way.

00:24:38.000 I know.

00:24:39.000 Dude knows how to slap good.

00:24:40.000 Well, there was this one level to that slap game.

00:24:43.000 But there was, yeah, like there'd be like a biker.

00:24:44.000 It'd be like, no, I'm going to throw a rock.

00:24:46.000 And I'd run in the cornfield.

00:24:46.000 And I'm like, shit.

00:24:48.000 Ooh, that's not good.

00:24:50.000 Some people can knock you the fuck out with a slap.

00:24:52.000 Well, yeah, what do you want to slap?

00:24:54.000 It'd be like just some dickhead.

00:24:55.000 But you never know who that dickhead is.

00:24:57.000 That's true.

00:24:58.000 That's super dicky.

00:24:59.000 Like the Diaz brothers.

00:25:00.000 You're like, oh, you're a normal guy.

00:25:01.000 Oh, you're the toughest dude in the world.

00:25:04.000 Yeah, you do not want them slapping you.

00:25:06.000 Especially if they know they're going to slap you.

00:25:06.000 Right.

00:25:08.000 It's not like an instinct.

00:25:09.000 Like in the middle, you said something stupid to them and they're like, what?

00:25:12.000 I'll smash them.

00:25:12.000 If they line up, but if they line up and get ready.

00:25:15.000 What is this guy doing?

00:25:16.000 He's letting the guy slap him?

00:25:17.000 Are they having a slap on?

00:25:19.000 These go are pretty big on the internet.

00:25:19.000 Oh, come on.

00:25:21.000 Oh, my God.

00:25:22.000 Everyone gets knocked out.

00:25:23.000 People get knocked the fuck out.

00:25:24.000 That guy just got KO'd.

00:25:26.000 Because this guy hit him right on the jaw.

00:25:28.000 Bam.

00:25:29.000 Oh, wait a minute.

00:25:30.000 So who went first?

00:25:32.000 This was first.

00:25:33.000 I kind of went first.

00:25:34.000 And so the second guy KO'd him?

00:25:37.000 That's even more impressive.

00:25:37.000 Yeah.

00:25:38.000 He took a shot.

00:25:39.000 Watch this.

00:25:41.000 Oh, my God.

00:25:43.000 That dude's out fucking cold.

00:25:45.000 I hope there was a mat behind him or someone to catch him.

00:25:48.000 Probably not.

00:25:49.000 Is that less head drama just because it's the little button on your neck?

00:25:52.000 No, it still shakes the brain.

00:25:54.000 That's terrible.

00:25:55.000 Like, that guy's brain got jolted there.

00:25:58.000 His neck spun around.

00:25:59.000 His brain sloshed back and forth inside.

00:26:02.000 I'm so screwed.

00:26:03.000 I'm going to get all that shit when I'm older from the tomatoes.

00:26:06.000 You probably will a little, for real.

00:26:08.000 How many tomatoes do you think hit you?

00:26:10.000 A thousand a day.

00:26:11.000 Boo.

00:26:12.000 They miss a lot.

00:26:12.000 Oh, no.

00:26:13.000 That somebody was thrown.

00:26:14.000 I was hit hard, maybe, but I never got knocked out.

00:26:17.000 I want to talk to you about this.

00:26:20.000 Do you think that that might have something to do with why you're impulsive?

00:26:23.000 You're very impulsive.

00:26:25.000 I think.

00:26:26.000 In a good way.

00:26:27.000 I think you're hilarious.

00:26:28.000 But you say some shit online on Twitter.

00:26:32.000 You're fucking super impulsive.

00:26:34.000 I laugh at it.

00:26:35.000 I'm like, this dude just goes for it.

00:26:37.000 I don't know, man.

00:26:38.000 I think it's just like the art of it.

00:26:41.000 There's an art to it.

00:26:41.000 I don't know.

00:26:43.000 There is an art to saying fucked up shit.

00:26:45.000 And that's one of the things I really appreciate about you.

00:26:47.000 You're a very smart guy, but you also appreciate the art of saying fucked up shit.

00:26:52.000 It's one of the things that we do.

00:26:53.000 And it doesn't get respected enough.

00:26:56.000 Because especially today, man, you are fucking dancing a fine line between razor blades and crocodiles.

00:27:05.000 Like who you offend today.

00:27:07.000 People are just super, super cally-outy. 1.00

00:27:11.000 And I just got a bullhorn sometimes.

00:27:12.000 I just felt like, I don't know, I just wanted to keep comedy going, man, for myself.

00:27:18.000 I didn't want to, I just think our job is to not have a line.

00:27:22.000 You know, I try to be kind.

00:27:23.000 I don't want to like, but at the same time, it's like, I have to figure, like, our job is hyperbole.

00:27:28.000 Like, we work in a like truth dungeon.

00:27:31.000 And it's like, my thing is I might be wrong, but I'm not lying.

00:27:34.000 And I'm wrong a lot, but in the moment.

00:27:37.000 Yeah, I think what's super important is that you made a real good distinction, that you try not to be cruel.

00:27:43.000 And I exactly, I do too.

00:27:44.000 And sometimes you miss, right?

00:27:46.000 And that's another thing about this working without a net shit.

00:27:49.000 Boy, sometimes you miss.

00:27:50.000 Sometimes you say something you shouldn't have said, especially in live shows.

00:27:54.000 You try, you just, the impulse comes into your mind and you go for it.

00:27:58.000 But under careful consideration, if you sat down and thought about it for a few minutes, you're like, oh, no, I can't do this bit because of this and that.

00:28:04.000 What if people misconstrue?

00:28:06.000 What if someone took it out of contest?

00:28:07.000 What if someone doesn't understand that this is what I'm doing?

00:28:10.000 I'm just pushing buttons to people who know I'm pushing buttons.

00:28:12.000 I'm not trying to be cruel.

00:28:13.000 You have like they're in the game versus just random casualties.

00:28:16.000 And also, I think the outrage Ponzi scheme people, I don't even care.

00:28:20.000 I don't even care.

00:28:22.000 Like, I think a lot of people feign outrage because they don't understand, but they still want to retain power.

00:28:27.000 But then there's people that actually, like, I'll hurt them.

00:28:31.000 And that's when I'm like, oh no, did I, because my problem is every now and then I'll reverse virtue signaling where it's almost like I'll go farther intense than I normally would have because I'm trying to counteract virtue signaling.

00:28:44.000 And then I'm like, well, I'm throwing a punch at someone that other people don't even might not see.

00:28:49.000 And then now I just am a crazy.

00:28:51.000 Yeah, super aggressive.

00:28:53.000 I've been talking about that a lot about Trump, that I think that all these people attacking Trump in many ways, they actually kind of ramp up his behavior.

00:29:01.000 Yeah, it's the, have you read Black, Redneck, White, a Liberal by Thomas Sowell?

00:29:06.000 It's unbelievable.

00:29:06.000 No.

00:29:07.000 Did we bring this up the last?

00:29:08.000 Why do I feel?

00:29:09.000 Maybe, I think.

00:29:10.000 Maybe someone else did.

00:29:10.000 Well, Callan recommended it to me.

00:29:12.000 It might have been him.

00:29:13.000 Yeah.

00:29:13.000 It might have been him.

00:29:14.000 Callan is like one of the most well-read guys I know.

00:29:16.000 It's unreal.

00:29:17.000 He's just always reading books.

00:29:19.000 Yeah, and he's getting into wine, which is one of the hardest hobbies.

00:29:22.000 I can't either.

00:29:22.000 I can't do that.

00:29:23.000 There's not enough time this time.

00:29:24.000 I'm like, this tastes like PBR.

00:29:25.000 Shit, my foot.

00:29:26.000 Fucking X. But I can't.

00:29:31.000 PBR has a wonderful flavor of its own.

00:29:32.000 I love PBR.

00:29:33.000 If PBR was really respected as some light ale from Germany, if you got a good batch of PBR, you're like, wow, it's got a weird sort of aluminum-y taste.

00:29:44.000 It sounds like it's Paps. 0.57

00:29:46.000 Like they do the condescending pronunciation like they know it, Mark.

00:29:50.000 Listen, Pap's blue ribbon with some fucking stone crabs and some butter and maybe some fries with a lot of salt on them.

00:29:57.000 Come on, son.

00:29:58.000 It's nothing better.

00:29:59.000 I mean, look, it's not the same kind of beer.

00:30:02.000 People are flavor snobs.

00:30:03.000 Like, they want you to be into IPAs.

00:30:05.000 Are you into IPAs?

00:30:06.000 Can you handle the bitter?

00:30:07.000 What about caviar?

00:30:09.000 Do you like stuff that tastes like shit?

00:30:10.000 Yeah.

00:30:11.000 And they used to feed lobsters to prisoners, like, not that long ago.

00:30:14.000 Well, dude, lobsters are goddamn delicious.

00:30:16.000 They are delicious, but it's like, who gets to make the call?

00:30:19.000 Well, you know what the difference is?

00:30:20.000 Lobsters with and without butter.

00:30:22.000 That's the difference.

00:30:23.000 Because butter is so good.

00:30:25.000 But with butter and lobster, butter makes some shit just way better.

00:30:31.000 And one of the things it makes way better is lobster.

00:30:33.000 For sure.

00:30:34.000 There's no goddamn question.

00:30:36.000 And lobsters are, you know, it's essentially a bug.

00:30:39.000 It's a big old bug.

00:30:41.000 Yeah, it's a giant beetle.

00:30:42.000 Just this shit-eating beetle.

00:30:44.000 They're not much different than bugs that walk around on the surface of the earth.

00:30:49.000 They're just water bugs.

00:30:50.000 And I think we also like the task of like cracking and splitting it.

00:30:54.000 So, you know, it's like artichokes take some deliciousness right there.

00:30:59.000 Some crabs.

00:31:00.000 What kind of crabs are those, Jamie?

00:31:02.000 They look goddamn good, though.

00:31:03.000 Except in PBR and crabs.

00:31:06.000 A paps blue ribbon can.

00:31:06.000 That's it.

00:31:08.000 There's nothing there.

00:31:09.000 Some crabs with spice on the outside and lemon.

00:31:11.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:31:12.000 An IPA can take you for a turn.

00:31:14.000 Like my wife, this is like, here, have some, because I usually come in, like if I get a little buzz, I'll come in, you know, and she wanted to hang and I'm out there just drinking and staring at a fire.

00:31:23.000 And she gave me this IPA called Dogfish, and it's 18% alcohol.

00:31:28.000 And like three beers in, I'm like blacked out.

00:31:31.000 Because I was just drinking them like beers.

00:31:33.000 And I'm like, oh, three beers, now come in.

00:31:35.000 That's so unnecessary.

00:31:38.000 I don't know.

00:31:39.000 It was like, it's like spiking someone.

00:31:41.000 I was like roofied.

00:31:42.000 But here's the thing.

00:31:43.000 Like you, it's, you can't, this is one of my, I had a bit about this, about my problem with pot gummy bears.

00:31:49.000 One of the problems is it looks like a regular fucking gummy bear.

00:31:52.000 And my brain thinks, oh, I could just fucking eat the shit out of those.

00:31:56.000 Yeah.

00:31:56.000 If I got gummy bears, I can eat five or ten of them.

00:31:58.000 False representation can just jack your world.

00:32:02.000 There's a video I put on Instagram of Lee Syat.

00:32:05.000 Have you seen that video?

00:32:06.000 One by one design put it up, and he's got a video that they took from Joey Diaz, the church of what's happening now.

00:32:13.000 And Lee Syat is literally the physical example that you would use of someone who's too high.

00:32:19.000 If someone says, what's too high?

00:32:21.000 You're like, this, this is too high.

00:32:23.000 Like, look at him there.

00:32:23.000 He's got his eyes closed.

00:32:24.000 Give me some volume, Jamie.

00:32:26.000 They're all talking.

00:32:27.000 They're playing some music.

00:32:29.000 And look at him.

00:32:30.000 Look at his eyes fading in out.

00:32:30.000 Look at him.

00:32:32.000 By the way, he knew he was supposed to be at the podcast.

00:32:34.000 It's not like they woke him up to do a podcast.

00:32:36.000 He left the camera on himself, too, I think.

00:32:39.000 Yeah, he left the camera on himself, and he's just, he's so paranoid right now.

00:32:43.000 He's freaking the fuck out.

00:32:44.000 Look, he throws his head back.

00:32:46.000 He's like, Jesus, I can't do this anymore.

00:32:48.000 I can't work with you, Joey Diaz.

00:32:50.000 I can't work with you.

00:32:51.000 I can't work with you.

00:32:52.000 Joey Diaz, he's just thinking right now, demons, just waiting for him to close his eyes and go to sleep.

00:32:58.000 I can't give into the demons.

00:32:59.000 He can just see them over him, just scratching at the ceiling.

00:33:03.000 Just waiting for the lights to turn out and his eyelids to close and they're going to go through his fucking mouth and penetrate his body.

00:33:11.000 And I've been that exact guy on that exact podcast.

00:33:14.000 Yeah, Joey Goff.

00:33:15.000 Jimmy the star, yeah.

00:33:16.000 And I was, I just, I couldn't handle it, man.

00:33:18.000 He's a different animal.

00:33:20.000 I love that dude.

00:33:21.000 He's the best.

00:33:21.000 But he's a different animal.

00:33:22.000 You can't, you know, don't, don't try to outdo him ever.

00:33:26.000 I was just trying to hang.

00:33:27.000 He was the one.

00:33:29.000 He had mercy on me, which I thought was incredible because I'm like, yeah, let me just grab another one of those stars to death.

00:33:34.000 And he's like, no way, doc.

00:33:35.000 You're going to fucking die.

00:33:36.000 I'm trying to be nice to you.

00:33:37.000 But like what you said about the gummy bears, it's like, yeah, it's almost like the false representation is the thing I don't like more than the representation itself.

00:33:45.000 And that's why I get like so pissed about certain scandals because someone's a hypocrite versus other ones where I'm like, oh man, I feel bad for that guy.

00:33:52.000 Right.

00:33:52.000 I know what you're saying.

00:33:53.000 Yeah.

00:33:55.000 And did you see here the podcast I had the other day with Jamie Kilstein?

00:33:58.000 Yes.

00:33:59.000 He's a good dude, man.

00:34:00.000 The way he came clean about all that stuff and just talked about how it all got away from him as like a social justice warrior and describing in like really honest and I think super brave the way he described like this charge that he would get after going after someone and calling someone a racist and getting other people to go after him and trying to get him fired.

00:34:20.000 Dude, it gave me a good perspective on myself.

00:34:22.000 It's like the concept of the attack dog, where it's this like understood thing where you're going to attack for the group.

00:34:29.000 And then it's like, then you start seeking approval from strangers and how much of it is actually your own opinion at that point.

00:34:34.000 And that's a very, very profound thing to think about.

00:34:38.000 We have a series, our brain is filled with like this series of reward systems that are in place, right?

00:34:45.000 Like there's a need for approval from the tribe.

00:34:49.000 There's the need for, you know, to sexually reproduce. 0.99

00:34:52.000 There's the need to accomplish tasks.

00:34:54.000 There's a need to avoid predation.

00:34:56.000 And we have all these reward systems, right?

00:34:58.000 Where like your body and your organism will reward you with a positive feeling for reinforcing some of the patterns of behavior that are necessary for survival.

00:35:10.000 Right.

00:35:11.000 Like the ability to run away from something when you're scared.

00:35:13.000 When you get scared and you freak out, that is a jolt of go juice, right?

00:35:18.000 Yeah, you buy that Geico insurance.

00:35:19.000 Fuck, you're ready to run, man.

00:35:21.000 Have you ever been like legitimately scared for your life and had that feeling?

00:35:24.000 Fuck yeah, man.

00:35:25.000 It's terrifying, right?

00:35:26.000 And that's more powerful than desire.

00:35:28.000 And I think that's one thing we're facing right now as a society because it's like just planes of Africa running from a lion versus towards a banana.

00:35:36.000 Like what's crazier?

00:35:38.000 So I think that that's a way to like supercharge a population into buying a bunch of dumb shit.

00:35:42.000 Well, I actually think this is a very important point that I think a lot of us, it takes a long time to realize is that these reward systems that we have set up, right?

00:35:51.000 Like these patterns that feel good to follow through with, like, you know, the way we handle conflict and especially like the need to push yourself and stress yourself out, like some sort of physical way by exercise.

00:36:06.000 I really feel like that those things, like if you can help them, like if you could give them their fuel in a positive way, you don't get any of the negative aspects of it, but you get the positive aspects of it.

00:36:21.000 Because like, especially like the physical one.

00:36:25.000 I really believe this from my own experiences.

00:36:28.000 We all have physical requirements for movement.

00:36:31.000 And we don't give those physical requirements.

00:36:34.000 We don't feed the body correctly with those movements.

00:36:37.000 And what happens is it gets angst and it gets weird.

00:36:40.000 And your body gets freaked out and it starts getting fat.

00:36:42.000 It starts feeling like shit.

00:36:45.000 And one of the reasons why it's not functioning right is because we didn't properly manage movement, like making sure your body is getting exercise.

00:36:54.000 Like put some stress on it so that it can recover and be stronger and maintain a certain level of strength.

00:37:00.000 Because if you don't put any stress on it, it stops working.

00:37:02.000 And if it stops working, you start sagging and deteriorating.

00:37:06.000 And here's the big one.

00:37:07.000 Maybe you're an intellectual.

00:37:08.000 Maybe you don't want to have anything to do with physical stuff because you think of it as a base thing.

00:37:12.000 That fucking body has a giant influence on your mind. 0.57

00:37:16.000 It absolutely is.

00:37:17.000 There's no separation.

00:37:18.000 There's no separation.

00:37:20.000 And it is just a discipline issue and there's nothing else.

00:37:23.000 I'm not saying you should be a bodybuilder.

00:37:25.000 I'm not saying you should go out there and fucking run marathons or do anything even that are super stressful, but do some sit-ups, do some push-ups, do some chin-ups if you can, do some running up hills, pick up some heavy stuff, move it around and do it regularly.

00:37:40.000 Do it all the time.

00:37:42.000 And do it even if you have no desire whatsoever to look good naked.

00:37:45.000 Just do it to make your body last longer.

00:37:49.000 It's natural antidepressant.

00:37:51.000 Like I used to live in the Czech Republic and there's no gyms there.

00:37:54.000 What were you doing there?

00:37:55.000 Studying history.

00:37:56.000 Wow.

00:37:57.000 And there's no gyms and I would like, I didn't feel safe in certain areas jogging because it was just intense.

00:38:03.000 So I would just jump up and down.

00:38:05.000 I would play like disco or something and just manically jump up and down and I'd feel awesome.

00:38:05.000 That's it.

00:38:11.000 I had this dumb idea once a few years back.

00:38:14.000 I was like, well, if you just jumped all the time and you kept jumping, wouldn't you get better at jumping?

00:38:20.000 Like, wouldn't you, like, you get stronger at stuff?

00:38:22.000 It's a matter of like how many reps you do.

00:38:24.000 Like, how high could you wind up jumping?

00:38:27.000 Is there a point of no return?

00:38:28.000 Dude, you're talking to a 6'7 guy who can't dunk, who's jumped a lot to try and get up there.

00:38:34.000 I think I can get really good at long distance running, but I don't have the twitch to go up.

00:38:39.000 And I've tried, man.

00:38:41.000 Well, I've built like a cement potato.

00:38:43.000 I can't jump at all.

00:38:44.000 I can't jump for shit, man.

00:38:45.000 Very little ups.

00:38:48.000 I could endure.

00:38:49.000 I saw a video yesterday of the highest jump I've ever seen by a guy that didn't look that tall.

00:38:53.000 His top of his head, you know, the vertical slash thing?

00:38:57.000 He hit the top one.

00:38:58.000 That's unreal.

00:38:59.000 Like monkey bugs and spikes.

00:39:00.000 I saw that video.

00:39:01.000 Yeah, I've saw this one dude that was practicing on those.

00:39:04.000 You ever see those plyo bags?

00:39:08.000 They're plyo boxes, but the top of them is like a very soft foam.

00:39:12.000 Smushy, so they can.

00:39:12.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:14.000 This guy was jumping those, and it looked like there was wires attached to his hips.

00:39:18.000 I'm like, what are they doing?

00:39:19.000 They're yanking him up to the sky?

00:39:21.000 He was jumping like six feet straight up in the air and landing on these things.

00:39:25.000 Like, wait a minute.

00:39:26.000 People can do that? 0.58

00:39:27.000 It's like you have jump privilege.

00:39:29.000 Oh, look at this guy.

00:39:30.000 Whoa.

00:39:32.000 That must feel so awesome.

00:39:34.000 That guy is, that's a four-foot vertical, right?

00:39:37.000 Is that a four-foot vertical?

00:39:38.000 I'm not sure.

00:39:39.000 I don't know the exact height of the top of the backboard.

00:39:41.000 I know.

00:39:42.000 The highest vertical that anybody's ever jumped.

00:39:45.000 If you had a guess.

00:39:46.000 Let's take a look.

00:39:47.000 51 inches.

00:39:48.000 That's a good guess.

00:39:50.000 I'll say 53 just for the fuck of it, but just based on your guess being really good.

00:39:57.000 An awesome thing you do for people is you motivate people to learn new shit, which is crucial for neuroplasticity.

00:40:04.000 I'm very happy that I do that, but I only do it because I'm interested in it myself.

00:40:07.000 Dude, you got me into show.

00:40:08.000 I'm like, God, look at this dude.

00:40:10.000 60?

00:40:11.000 So you got it.

00:40:12.000 You got it, bro.

00:40:13.000 God damn.

00:40:13.000 Nice.

00:40:14.000 Leonel Marshall.

00:40:15.000 He's a Cuban professional volleyball player and is said to have a 50-inch vertical jump.

00:40:19.000 The next guy is Zador Ziani.

00:40:22.000 He's a professional dunker with Slam Nation.

00:40:24.000 Didn't know it exists.

00:40:26.000 And is said to hold a world record in the vertical at 60 inches.

00:40:30.000 Okay, here's what I don't like.

00:40:32.000 Is said.

00:40:33.000 Is said is used twice.

00:40:34.000 It's like legendary.

00:40:35.000 That's either some shitty journalism or you're not telling me the truth.

00:40:40.000 You're just telling me some rumor bullshit.

00:40:42.000 Well, that's like, here's a matter of getting it on tape, I guess.

00:40:45.000 So here's a 63 inch box, John.

00:40:48.000 That's not vertical.

00:40:49.000 Whatever the fuck it is, man.

00:40:52.000 Don't diminish this man's accomplishment.

00:40:53.000 No, I'm not, but I mean.

00:40:54.000 Shut up, Jamie.

00:40:55.000 I know what you're doing.

00:40:57.000 I want to see this guy do it.

00:40:58.000 I want to see this guy do it.

00:40:58.000 Hold on.

00:40:59.000 This is insane.

00:41:01.000 He's really going to jump that high?

00:41:03.000 That's over his head.

00:41:05.000 63 inches.

00:41:06.000 That's fucking...

00:41:13.000 Here he goes.

00:41:14.000 Oh my god.

00:41:15.000 Oh my God.

00:41:16.000 That's fucking insane.

00:41:18.000 What's that dude's name, Ryan Moody?

00:41:20.000 Or is he no Evan Unger?

00:41:23.000 63.5 inch box jump world record.

00:41:26.000 Hold on, go back, please.

00:41:28.000 May 13, 2016.

00:41:30.000 That dude's a beast.

00:41:31.000 That's ridiculous.

00:41:32.000 By the way, put that energy into something positive, son.

00:41:36.000 Just jumping up on rubber tires.

00:41:39.000 You could have been the CEO of a billion-dollar company, kid.

00:41:42.000 You get some serious focus.

00:41:43.000 Instead, you're putting all your interest on jumping high.

00:41:46.000 That's like lacrosse.

00:41:47.000 It's lacrosse.

00:41:47.000 It's gotta be away.

00:41:48.000 It's gotta be the one to jump highest.

00:41:49.000 Okay, you did it.

00:41:50.000 You've proven.

00:41:51.000 Now, move forth.

00:41:52.000 Yeah, there's no ball in.

00:41:54.000 There's no pro in box jumping.

00:41:56.000 It goes back to the lacrosse.

00:41:57.000 Yeah, like you said, it goes back to lacrosse.

00:41:59.000 Look, man, you're talking to a dude who spent most of his young days doing taekwondo.

00:42:03.000 There's very few things.

00:42:04.000 Yeah, but you got that kick torque. 0.83

00:42:06.000 Kick torque, yeah, but I'm saying, like, as far as putting your energy into something that you could do with your life.

00:42:11.000 Oh, dude, I was a history major.

00:42:11.000 Right.

00:42:13.000 I'm the guy that all I have is like, kind of like Constantine.

00:42:17.000 Can I get more drinks?

00:42:18.000 Like, what the hell does that get me?

00:42:19.000 I always love those guys at the bar that know way more than me.

00:42:22.000 Like, what?

00:42:22.000 Hold on.

00:42:23.000 What book?

00:42:23.000 Right, right, right.

00:42:24.000 It was always like some obscure bartender who could tell you some crazy shit about Napoleon.

00:42:29.000 You're like, wait a minute.

00:42:30.000 Like, we were talking about Napoleon before.

00:42:31.000 Like, Napoleon wasn't short.

00:42:33.000 He was short like for today, but he's an inch shorter than me.

00:42:37.000 He's 5'7, which is very tall for a person who's starving to death.

00:42:43.000 Which is what everybody was back then.

00:42:45.000 Like, nobody got good food.

00:42:47.000 It's like North Korea is now. 0.91

00:42:48.000 It's like South Korea and North Korea. 0.87

00:42:50.000 The height difference is like massive.

00:42:52.000 It's so sad, man.

00:42:53.000 You know, you look at all those little people from like the Civil War days.

00:42:56.000 You know, Civil War days, an average man was like 130 pounds.

00:43:00.000 Yeah.

00:43:00.000 They're like little tiny fellas.

00:43:02.000 Yeah, you see the uniforms in like a museum and it just looks like smurfs.

00:43:06.000 Yeah, man.

00:43:06.000 You know, it's all just about food.

00:43:10.000 It's about nutrients.

00:43:12.000 You know, it's a dark thing to think of that this is.

00:43:16.000 One more time.

00:43:16.000 Cheers, my brother.

00:43:17.000 Thanks for having me, brother.

00:43:17.000 Cheers, man.

00:43:18.000 Thank you.

00:43:18.000 Thanks for being here.

00:43:19.000 It's a dark thing to think that nutrients held back the physical development of people.

00:43:24.000 They had so little food that they weren't growing right.

00:43:27.000 Yeah.

00:43:28.000 That's so crazy.

00:43:29.000 It's not like they were, you know, like they were supposed to be that small.

00:43:34.000 Oh my God.

00:43:36.000 This guy's a giant.

00:43:37.000 Common soldier.

00:43:39.000 Look at this.

00:43:40.000 According to historian Bell I. Wiley, who pioneered the study of the Civil War, common soldier, the average Yank or Reb was a white native-born farmer, protested single between 18 and 29.

00:43:52.000 He stood about 5 foot, 8 inches tall, weighed 143 pounds.

00:43:55.000 Okay, that's not as small as I thought.

00:43:57.000 Yeah, because that's average now.

00:43:58.000 I got a lot of people.

00:43:59.000 I thought they were like 5'5, and I think they were saying that the average weight was like 125 pounds, but the average height was like much smaller.

00:44:07.000 Maybe it wasn't the Civil War.

00:44:10.000 Maybe it was the War of 1812.

00:44:11.000 I think Civil War, I mean, we were on a dollar a day in today's money until like 1890.

00:44:17.000 Like they were broke, man.

00:44:18.000 I mean, my mom, her parents had a dirt floor. 1.00

00:44:21.000 It's like dirt.

00:44:23.000 My parents were born in America, but my grandparents came over to America from Italy when they were really young.

00:44:31.000 Like I think my grandpa was before the teenage years.

00:44:36.000 You know, he was telling me about the brutality of life on a farm when you're poor during the Depression.

00:44:43.000 You know, about how he learned to kill rabbits with his bare hands.

00:44:43.000 Yeah.

00:44:47.000 You know, how like he would explain to me, he'd snap a rabbit's neck and you're looking in the guy's eyes that didn't know whether or not members of his family would starve to death.

00:44:55.000 Exactly.

00:44:55.000 Like this, there was a different world back then, man.

00:44:58.000 Steaks.

00:44:59.000 Yeah.

00:44:59.000 No one's worried about pronouns.

00:45:01.000 My grandfather was a very kind and gentle man, sort of belied like almost the rest of my family and his start in life because he, you know, he was born during a very, very, very difficult time.

00:45:16.000 And he was just a really kind man who liked to read books.

00:45:19.000 He was like the gentle one of my family.

00:45:21.000 That's so cool.

00:45:23.000 I lived with him when I was just moving to New York, when I had to leave Boston.

00:45:29.000 And I got a manager.

00:45:30.000 And my manager lived in New York, who I'm still with to this day.

00:45:35.000 And I was like barely out of the open mic days.

00:45:37.000 And I couldn't afford to live in New York by myself.

00:45:40.000 I tried to figure it out like how much money I had, like very little saved up.

00:45:44.000 And I basically just went to New York with my car and some clothes.

00:45:48.000 And my grandpa let me stay at his place.

00:45:51.000 And it was weird, man, because my grandmother was dying.

00:45:54.000 She had a stroke, and they gave her 72 hours, and she lived for 12 years.

00:46:00.000 Nice.

00:46:00.000 They thought she was going to be dead.

00:46:02.000 They're like, you say your goodbyes, get the family to fly to her.

00:46:06.000 You know, she really, she had a bad aneurysm.

00:46:09.000 And she lived forever.

00:46:10.000 It's crazy.

00:46:10.000 So your grandpa took care of her?

00:46:11.000 He took care of her.

00:46:12.000 And I was living with the two of them while that was going on.

00:46:15.000 So like while I was going this transition in my life, like the most exciting thing, like literally that's ever happened to me, I get this like real legit manager.

00:46:25.000 And I start thinking, maybe I can actually do this.

00:46:28.000 Like maybe I can actually be a comic.

00:46:30.000 Because like when I was living in Boston, I was like doing all sorts of other jobs.

00:46:34.000 And I was never like a professional.

00:46:36.000 I never had a full, like, I never had enough work where I could 100% be a comic.

00:46:41.000 And I'd only been doing it for like three years.

00:46:43.000 So I was just grinding, constantly grinding, doing a bunch of different day jobs.

00:46:46.000 And so when this opportunity came, I was like, holy shit, I can't believe this is real.

00:46:50.000 And as like my life was starting to go into this crazy place, I spent a good solid three months, maybe four, living with my grandfather while my grandmother was dying.

00:47:02.000 And that's where I lived.

00:47:03.000 So I'd come home with them and talk to them all the time.

00:47:06.000 And they lived in a neighborhood that used to be a predominantly Italian-American neighborhood in Newark.

00:47:11.000 But it deteriorated slowly but surely until it was like a really, it went from black people. 1.00

00:47:19.000 This is like, they did a thing called blockbusting. 0.60

00:47:21.000 You ever heard that story?

00:47:22.000 You know what blockbusting is?

00:47:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:23.000 They're trying to get them out.

00:47:24.000 Yeah, they're trying to.

00:47:25.000 They did that, where they would move into neighborhoods.

00:47:28.000 And I don't know like whether or not it was true or they were doing it to capitalize on something that was true or whether they instigated it.

00:47:35.000 But they would essentially go door to door and they would say, black people are moving in.

00:47:39.000 Sell your house now.

00:47:40.000 And most of my grandparents' families around them sold their house.

00:47:45.000 And my grandfather was like, I like black people.

00:47:48.000 Fuck off.

00:47:48.000 Totally.

00:47:49.000 And he just shut his door.

00:47:51.000 That's awesome, man.

00:47:51.000 My grandfather was one of those guys, as long as he has a gate and there's a lock on the gate, like everything's good in the world.

00:47:58.000 And he had, like, so when I would visit him, like, he had neighbors, like the next door neighbor right next door got arrested for selling crack.

00:48:05.000 This kid had an Audi parked in the driveway.

00:48:07.000 They broke through his house with a battering ram.

00:48:09.000 That was like right before I moved in.

00:48:11.000 I was like, whoa, this is crazy.

00:48:13.000 That's awesome, man.

00:48:14.000 Yeah, but I was watching their transition to death, essentially, and my transition to life at the same time.

00:48:23.000 Yeah, I had something somewhat similar.

00:48:24.000 I mean, that's, to me right now, like, that's so profound because like now that I'm like, I have a family and thinking about my wife and you watch the notebook and you're like, holy shit.

00:48:33.000 But like my best friend died on my birthday, like the year I was out here snowboarding.

00:48:40.000 And it was right as I got like punked and like the show punked.

00:48:42.000 And he like is the one who got me into stand-up.

00:48:44.000 And it was like, that was so bittersweet, man.

00:48:47.000 It was like, it was like the fragility of life as you're given this weird ego shot just was like, it was so intense.

00:48:56.000 Yeah, a good friend of mine died of an overdose.

00:48:59.000 Same thing.

00:49:00.000 He died of an overdose like really, I'd say, I got to say I was out here maybe three or four years.

00:49:07.000 He died, maybe five at the most.

00:49:11.000 I spent New Year's Eve, Y2K, on the phone with him because we were wondering whether or not the world would end. 1.00

00:49:21.000 And we were just having fun and laughing.

00:49:24.000 And then he died.

00:49:26.000 He died of a drug overdose.

00:49:27.000 And I found out about it like secondhand.

00:49:30.000 Somebody found out about it through somebody else.

00:49:32.000 And they called me up and they asked me if I heard.

00:49:34.000 And I said, what happened?

00:49:36.000 And they said, yeah, they found his body in a hotel room.

00:49:36.000 Are you sure?

00:49:38.000 And I went, oh, Unreal.

00:49:42.000 It was rough.

00:49:44.000 It was rough.

00:49:45.000 That was the hardest one.

00:49:47.000 Next to my grandpa, that was the hardest one.

00:49:51.000 Phil Hartman was pretty goddamn hard, too.

00:49:53.000 That was a hard one.

00:49:55.000 That was a hard one.

00:49:56.000 I recently lost a guy to heroin.

00:49:58.000 He was a vet, and it was like, and you saw it coming, but it was tragic because his PTSD was so bad, but he was like, dude, his story was a, he was a D1 baseball player, had everything going for him.

00:50:10.000 His dad dies.

00:50:11.000 He wants to join the Marines.

00:50:13.000 He's unbelievable at being a sniper.

00:50:16.000 You know, they go through hell in Afghanistan.

00:50:18.000 He gets on heroin, ends up in my town.

00:50:20.000 We become like best friends, him with my brother, because like a lot of vets want to do tree work because they need that.

00:50:25.000 Every man needs a purpose, you know?

00:50:27.000 And it's like a lack of purpose for like true warrior hero types is death.

00:50:32.000 And so like that extreme nature of climbing up trees and hauling lumber and stuff, we'd all do it together.

00:50:38.000 And that's why you also like comedy because the honesty of it, you know, the dude shot tons and tons of people.

00:50:43.000 So it's like that feeling of constant judgment and guilt and pride and guilt.

00:50:48.000 Comedy was like a relief for him.

00:50:49.000 And then he just died of heroin, man.

00:50:51.000 It was like, you get this, because, you know, I got him a gym membership and all this shit.

00:50:56.000 And we were all like rooting for him because he's this beautiful man.

00:50:58.000 But like, there's just moral injuries that just can take a toll.

00:51:02.000 And that was brutal.

00:51:04.000 Yeah, there's some injuries of the mind that are probably more devastating than injuries to the body.

00:51:10.000 You know, and I think that's one of the things that we overlook what we can't see.

00:51:16.000 We think about what we can see, like, oh, that guy got shot in his shoulder.

00:51:20.000 But we don't look at, oh, Owen watched 10 people die in a fire.

00:51:25.000 You know, like, we don't think of that as an injury.

00:51:28.000 But I mean, think about like the thing, I've had some friends that are paramedics.

00:51:31.000 They'll tell you like accidents that they roll up on, suicides that they roll up on.

00:51:37.000 And it's just, after a while, you're like, oh, my God, you feel so vulnerable.

00:51:42.000 And one of the things that he said is like a lot of people that do that work are like very sexually promiscuous.

00:51:48.000 That they just don't give a fuck.

00:51:50.000 Yeah, and they also develop dark humor, gallows humor.

00:51:54.000 Yeah.

00:51:55.000 You know, like my buddy Quinn from the Impractical Jokers used to be a New York City firefighter.

00:52:00.000 And so we did one of my podcasts together.

00:52:02.000 I mean, we've been friends since MySpace.

00:52:04.000 I mean, these guys are salt to the earth, man.

00:52:05.000 They're the fucking greatest dudes.

00:52:07.000 That's a great statement.

00:52:08.000 We've been friends since MySpace.

00:52:10.000 We used to write each other about our sketches and shit.

00:52:10.000 Legit.

00:52:13.000 And it's like, that dude has seen just kids torched, you know, and he's like, and they had to joke about it.

00:52:18.000 If not, you're going to just blow your brains out.

00:52:20.000 Yeah, and then you come home to your own family, you know?

00:52:23.000 Yeah, it's like, look at England after World War II.

00:52:26.000 It's like, I think that's what spawned so much great music, so much great art is, you know, their dads all died, man.

00:52:32.000 And it's like, and their cities are getting bombed.

00:52:35.000 And out of that comes this like desire to live in the moment and to just be able to stay and do whatever the fuck you can before you die.

00:52:42.000 I think you're totally right.

00:52:43.000 I think that's the case with Roman art as well, right?

00:52:46.000 I mean, why was there so much artistic expression back then?

00:52:50.000 Why were people so determined to put their emotions down on canvas?

00:52:54.000 Those emotions were like hurricanes swirling in your brain, visions of people getting cut in half by swords and arrows piercing sternums, and people choking you to death on their own blood and fucking hordes of barbarians coming over the top of the hill with horses swinging axes.

00:53:12.000 Like, whoa, that was real shit back then.

00:53:15.000 And I'm like, someone with a boot check mark is mad at me.

00:53:18.000 And back then, people were just getting their fucking heads chopped off.

00:53:21.000 And, you know, I've been thinking about this a lot lately with this Kevin Spacey thing.

00:53:28.000 Pedophilia is horrific.

00:53:30.000 We all agree.

00:53:31.000 It's terrifying.

00:53:33.000 It's so devastating because as we were talking about before, if someone gets shot, you could see the wound.

00:53:39.000 If someone gets raped by an actor when they're 12 years old, like, how do you fix that, right?

00:53:47.000 What is that?

00:53:48.000 What kind of psychic wound is that?

00:53:49.000 And what I was thinking is, it's really fascinating to me that we pretty much acknowledge that pederasts were commonplace in the 15th century, the 12th century, the 13th century, the 14th century, way, way into the 1800s.

00:54:10.000 And then when you go with the Catholic Church, I mean, it is, if you're Catholic, shut your fucking iPhone off right now. 0.92

00:54:17.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:54:18.000 No, but don't get yourself in the corner.

00:54:18.000 Don't get yourself in the corner.

00:54:19.000 Don't get your panties in that building. 0.99

00:54:21.000 Don't get your panties in a bundle. 0.69

00:54:22.000 It is a religion built on kid fucking.

00:54:26.000 It is a religion that has a giant history of that.

00:54:30.000 And it's because they wouldn't let the priests have families based on land ownership.

00:54:34.000 And some of these moves can take a beautiful religion and make it really dark.

00:54:40.000 Well, there was more than that.

00:54:41.000 It wasn't just that they didn't let them fuck women because they were goddamn rock stars.

00:54:46.000 The guys who held the Bible and could literally read it.

00:54:50.000 The average person could read Latin.

00:54:50.000 Right.

00:54:52.000 They're all reading German and all these different languages.

00:54:55.000 Like when Martin Luther, have you ever heard the prophets of doom?

00:54:59.000 Dan Carlin is one of my favorite fucking human beings that's ever lived.

00:55:03.000 And his podcast, Hardcore History, is a national treasure because I've learned more about history and more about like the Mongols and World War I and fucking everything.

00:55:14.000 But his podcast on Martin Luther and the first literal translations of the Bible that regular common folk could read.

00:55:22.000 They lost their minds.

00:55:23.000 They're like, Jesus was poor too?

00:55:25.000 Fuck you guys.

00:55:26.000 The peasant war has killed hundreds of thousands of people.

00:55:28.000 Imagine a world, folks, where until, what was like the 1500s?

00:55:33.000 Yeah, mid-15s.

00:55:34.000 It was around Gutenberg.

00:55:35.000 So that was like 1500s, mid-15s.

00:55:38.000 Find out when Martin Luther was slaying dick.

00:55:43.000 But the bottom line is what he had done was translate the Bible.

00:55:47.000 He's slaying a lot of dick.

00:55:48.000 Guarantee he wasn't doing this because he just wanted people to be free.

00:55:51.000 1517.

00:55:52.000 1517.

00:55:53.000 It's actually October 31st.

00:55:55.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

00:55:56.000 It was yesterday, Jamie.

00:55:57.000 This is crazy.

00:55:58.000 Dude, it was after Sober October.

00:56:00.000 Yeah.

00:56:01.000 By the way, I'm feeling toasty.

00:56:01.000 500 years ago.

00:56:03.000 I feel so good right now.

00:56:04.000 I feel right back.

00:56:05.000 I was worried, man.

00:56:06.000 I was worried that if I smoked a joint, I would be like, oh, my God, I'm going to die.

00:56:11.000 That's hilarious.

00:56:12.000 Goes out a worm of paranoia thinking about girls I fingered in high school.

00:56:17.000 For me, it's the edibles, man.

00:56:20.000 I smoke every now and then if there's someone I trust and I know and has good weebo, but like, it's the edibles and I'm like, this is just flesh.

00:56:27.000 Like that shit'll make.

00:56:28.000 It's real.

00:56:30.000 So this was the 1500s, 1515, is that what you said?

00:56:34.000 15?

00:56:35.000 17.

00:56:36.000 So think about that.

00:56:37.000 Like before then, that we're only talking, we're literally only talking about 500 years ago.

00:56:44.000 Yeah.

00:56:44.000 Exactly.

00:56:45.000 It was the last information overload.

00:56:47.000 So think about 500 years in terms of the life of the human species is mere blip.

00:56:54.000 And one of the reasons why the Catholic Church was able to get away with just translating things to people where they couldn't read it is because that's how fucking everybody did it.

00:57:04.000 They all did it that way.

00:57:05.000 You would go to some place and some guy would tell you what the sacred stuff would be and you'd be like, okay, cool.

00:57:11.000 Like, how many people actually got a hold of it and read it all day and studied it and made sure there was no contradictions?

00:57:18.000 Why does this guy keep fucking my wife for Jesus? 0.97

00:57:21.000 Yeah, the Catholics were like the BuzzFeed. 1.00

00:57:23.000 They were banging everybody, I guarantee you. 0.98

00:57:25.000 They had money.

00:57:26.000 They were allowed to have wives.

00:57:28.000 Like, did you know that early popes ran armies?

00:57:31.000 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:57:31.000 They were nuts.

00:57:32.000 They had to go to France for a little while to like, you know, because they had so much heat on them.

00:57:39.000 Like, it was, because it's when it fused with Constantine.

00:57:43.000 It's when it fused with the Roman Empire, you got that empire shit.

00:57:45.000 Because Christianity is a beautiful religion.

00:57:47.000 It's more like mellow and peaceful.

00:57:49.000 And then you got Constantine and the Roman Empire is falling apart.

00:57:53.000 And they wanted to get, you know, more favor of the people.

00:57:56.000 So they just fused the two together.

00:57:57.000 And they're like, you know, they got the popes going.

00:58:01.000 Crazy.

00:58:02.000 They ran armies.

00:58:03.000 That was one of the things that happened, apparently.

00:58:06.000 There was a conflict.

00:58:07.000 I hope I'm not fucking this up.

00:58:09.000 It was from hardcore history.

00:58:11.000 There was a conflict where one of the earlier popes didn't want to send troops to fight Genghis Khan.

00:58:16.000 Like, there was a lot of confusion in the early days of Genghis Khan, because before If you heard it in the past, I apologize for repeating myself.

00:58:27.000 But the Wrath of Khan, Wrath of the Khan series of Dan Carlin's One of my favorite pieces of work, whether it's a comedy, a movie, one of my favorite creations ever.

00:58:40.000 It's Unreal.

00:58:41.000 It's amazing.

00:58:42.000 It literally changed my life.

00:58:43.000 It's like I got like a Harvard education after paying for a state education.

00:58:48.000 Well, you could have got it for free.

00:58:49.000 I know.

00:58:50.000 That's just a game.

00:58:51.000 And then if you want to get the Wrath of the Cons, you could just buy it on iTunes.

00:58:55.000 It's a dollar a show.

00:58:56.000 That's it.

00:58:57.000 It's so worth it.

00:58:58.000 And I think it's like each one of them is at least an hour and a half long.

00:59:00.000 Oh, some are five.

00:59:01.000 Yeah, like the Blitz are sick, too.

00:59:04.000 That's the whole series, right?

00:59:04.000 Get all of them.

00:59:05.000 The series is five, but not an individual podcast.

00:59:08.000 No, like the recent Blitz was over five about nuclear war.

00:59:12.000 And the whole podcast by itself is five hours.

00:59:14.000 Yeah, and then he just had the gothic genocide or the gothic holocaust. 0.73

00:59:17.000 That was another fiver.

00:59:18.000 He's so gangster.

00:59:19.000 And he, by the way, he does this all himself, folks.

00:59:22.000 He edits it all himself.

00:59:23.000 So like that dollar is so worth it.

00:59:25.000 And in my opinion, he's like one of the most people just don't know.

00:59:29.000 You know, you're not hearing about this on CNN.

00:59:31.000 You're not hearing about this on Fox News.

00:59:33.000 And it is a travesty.

00:59:35.000 It is one of the best ways for you to learn about history because you learn about it.

00:59:39.000 He gives you a broad, detailed sense of the time.

00:59:43.000 He does it in a very entertaining way that you want to keep tuning in and that those memories stick to your brain.

00:59:49.000 It's an art.

00:59:50.000 There's an art to saying things interesting.

00:59:52.000 And he has that old-timey.

00:59:54.000 Hey, you can get the whole series for $10.

00:59:56.000 It's so worth it.

00:59:57.000 That's one and a half beers, guys.

00:59:59.000 That's so worth it.

01:00:00.000 Where is that?

01:00:00.000 His website, dancarlin.com.

01:00:02.000 Okay.

01:00:02.000 But you can also order it on iTunes if you have, I don't have an Android phone, but if you have an iPhone, I do, but I don't use it.

01:00:08.000 But if you have an iPhone, you can order it on iTunes and it'll go straight to your podcast.

01:00:14.000 Yeah, and there's another one, The Ghost of the Oster Front. 0.76

01:00:17.000 Oh, and it's like, and he also has that old-timey voice, almost like the Joker, where he keeps you, where he's like, what is a monument?

01:00:24.000 And it's like, a field of bones.

01:00:27.000 Yes.

01:00:28.000 He's a great combination of entertainment, information, and humility.

01:00:35.000 He's like, I'm not a historian, but like, most of us think that the real, and then I'll just, the Anabaptists, you know, clearly when they purged God's wizard.

01:00:43.000 Wizard.

01:00:44.000 So important.

01:00:45.000 And I mean, I've talked about him many times in the past to a point where I backed off because, oh my God, I talked about Dan Carlin too much.

01:00:50.000 No, it was Brian Redband's the one who got me into it.

01:00:52.000 Because the only podcast I listened to yours, like maybe four years ago, like that was the only one I really had.

01:00:58.000 And I'm like, yo, Redband, what else should I listen to?

01:01:00.000 He just goes, and I think it was just so fucked up. 0.98

01:01:02.000 And he's still like, hardcore history, man.

01:01:05.000 And it was like, that just, it just set me off a journey.

01:01:09.000 You know what another great one is?

01:01:10.000 Danielle Bolelli's History on Fire.

01:01:12.000 Fuck, that's good.

01:01:12.000 Listen to that.

01:01:13.000 Plus, you get a fantastic accent.

01:01:16.000 I mean, Danielle Bolelli, his accent, he's got like a super Italian accent.

01:01:22.000 I know.

01:01:22.000 I'm like, this is kind of sexy.

01:01:24.000 I'm like, should I whack off to this?

01:01:25.000 I'm not even gay at all.

01:01:27.000 That's why people were gay in the Roman times because they all talked like that. 1.00

01:01:30.000 They were just gay for each other. 0.98

01:01:32.000 We kind of went around that.

01:01:34.000 But it's stunning to me that what we were originally talking about was like how common being a pedophile was.

01:01:40.000 It was like super common.

01:01:42.000 That until, there it is, history on fire, Professor Daniel Bolele.

01:01:47.000 He's like, talking about Spartacus.

01:01:48.000 He's like, Spartacus.

01:01:50.000 He's a beautiful person, too.

01:01:51.000 I love that guy.

01:01:52.000 Yeah.

01:01:52.000 Fucking great dude.

01:01:54.000 But it's amazing how recent it was where that was taboo, where you weren't, where people were like, hey, maybe we should stop fucking kids.

01:02:02.000 That's my one.

01:02:03.000 Like, I have a few rules in life, but the number one is don't fuck the kids. 0.57

01:02:07.000 Well, it's 100% number one.

01:02:09.000 Don't hurt the children.

01:02:10.000 Don't hurt the children.

01:02:11.000 Don't hurt them physically.

01:02:12.000 Don't hurt them mentally.

01:02:12.000 Don't hurt them sexually.

01:02:14.000 That's number one.

01:02:14.000 Don't hurt the kids.

01:02:15.000 Feed, protect, and teach.

01:02:17.000 Yeah, what you are is the result of some crazy shit that happened to you and some awesome shit that happened to you.

01:02:23.000 Yeah.

01:02:24.000 And your ability to manage that fucking land in between the two that causes depression.

01:02:29.000 Yeah, between chaos and order.

01:02:31.000 You know, it all Peterson about.

01:02:34.000 Law and order.

01:02:35.000 Yeah.

01:02:37.000 Yeah, I mean, that's what our job is, is to figure out a way to make the best people we can and raise those people so that those people are going to impact as many people as they can in a positive way.

01:02:47.000 And if this can be done, look, you got to realize that the people of today, we're basically biologically the same as the people that lived in the Genghis Khan days, but we couldn't be further apart in terms of the way we look at the world.

01:03:00.000 It's our software programming.

01:03:01.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:03:02.000 Think about how you are, how Jamie is, how most of the people we know are, and then think about Genghis Khan's mob of savages that were just eating people.

01:03:11.000 They're like Assyria. 0.90

01:03:13.000 Carlin gets into that.

01:03:14.000 It's a judgment at Nineveh.

01:03:17.000 These people were like public skinnings and burnings because it was just all about just the yoke of oppression.

01:03:26.000 And your life was just pain and you wanted to inflict that pain on other people.

01:03:30.000 So you agreed to like, there was like, there's like almost like some sort of an evolutionary basis and staying as close to people as you can while agreeing with as little evidence as possible to murder them all.

01:03:46.000 Which is like, we're like witch trials.

01:03:48.000 And one of the things that freaked me out about Dan Carlin's history of the Mongols thing was he started talking about how there's speculation that decimation, like the term decimation came from like if there's a hundred, they would eat one of them.

01:04:03.000 Oh, no way.

01:04:05.000 They'd eat one.

01:04:05.000 They would eat one.

01:04:06.000 There was speculation that some of the Mongols, like decimation, like you think of decimated and it's like destroying.

01:04:12.000 But what it really is, is like a decimal.

01:04:14.000 Like if there's 10 people, you kill one because you run out of supplies.

01:04:17.000 But that the Mongols would pick one amongst them and they would eat them so that the rest of the troops would survive. 0.99

01:04:23.000 I was like, that is so crazy.

01:04:26.000 And the guy was pretty heightist.

01:04:29.000 If you were above a wagon wheel, he'd just cut your fucking head off.

01:04:31.000 Here's what decimation means.

01:04:32.000 The killing of one in every 10 of a group of people as a punishment for the whole group.

01:04:38.000 But that was just the punishment.

01:04:41.000 What Dan Carlin was talking about is there's some people, and maybe he doesn't agree with them, or maybe he does, but some people who believe it's possible that the Mongols did this practice in order to stay alive.

01:04:51.000 They definitely did.

01:04:52.000 They used to suck the blood out of their horses.

01:04:54.000 And they would add milk to it.

01:04:55.000 Yeah, they're just like they're hungry.

01:04:57.000 They're like, all right, I'm just going to suck some blood out of this horse.

01:04:59.000 Yeah, that's how they stayed alive.

01:05:01.000 They would cut the blood, like cut an artery, fill like a jug with blood, and then they would milk them and mix the blood and the milk together and they would eat that.

01:05:09.000 And then their kids started getting soft because they became quote unquote Chinese. 1.00

01:05:12.000 So like they, like Kublai kind of guys, they used to have to send them back to the steppe to keep their edge.

01:05:17.000 Jesus Christ.

01:05:19.000 You know, it's like, because I feel like it's like when I call some like LA people and some New York people, I call them indoor cats or house cats.

01:05:26.000 And it's like, it's the difference.

01:05:27.000 You said that the other day.

01:05:28.000 I was crying.

01:05:29.000 It's like the difference between a pigeon and like a bird of paradise with the big plumes because they don't have any fucking predators.

01:05:34.000 Mojikasha is a house cat. 0.88

01:05:36.000 Big time.

01:05:37.000 I love him, but he's a house cat.

01:05:39.000 Yeah, same here.

01:05:39.000 Yeah, totally.

01:05:40.000 It's like, I've had good combos with it, but then it'll get into all this shit where I'm like, I'm like, you don't have any natural predators.

01:05:47.000 You're not around bears, son.

01:05:49.000 Yeah, you don't hang out with vets as you drop trees and fucking try to stay off heroin.

01:05:53.000 I would like to take Moshikasha bear hunting.

01:05:56.000 That'd be hilarious.

01:05:58.000 Take him to Alberta and let him see a grizzly.

01:06:01.000 Lock eyes of the grizzly for the first time.

01:06:03.000 That grizzly doesn't give a fuck about diversity. 0.51

01:06:07.000 It's like, hey, Moshe, that's patriarchy.

01:06:12.000 Think of a thousand-pound thing that just needs to eat.

01:06:15.000 How much does a grizzly bear need to eat a gay? 0.99

01:06:17.000 A day?

01:06:17.000 A gay?

01:06:18.000 Let's guess.

01:06:19.000 They only eat gays. 1.00

01:06:20.000 I bet they eat a lot of gays. 1.00

01:06:22.000 You start screaming, they'll eat you.

01:06:23.000 Yeah.

01:06:24.000 Not saying that gays are screaming, but that's a stereotype.

01:06:24.000 Well, they're not.

01:06:26.000 Yeah, that guy was gay.

01:06:27.000 Yeah.

01:06:28.000 Oh, full blonde. 0.74

01:06:29.000 100%.

01:06:29.000 Yeah.

01:06:30.000 Grizzly man, the number one greatest unintentional comedy human beings have ever created.

01:06:35.000 100%, dude.

01:06:36.000 It beats Roadhouse.

01:06:38.000 It beats Showgirls. 0.93

01:06:39.000 It beats everything that is awesome but still sucks at the same time.

01:06:44.000 Dude, I watch Roadhouse at least once a year, man.

01:06:46.000 I love Roadhouse.

01:06:48.000 I went on a tirade one night on Twitter.

01:06:50.000 I was high as fuck, and I was watching Roadhouse, and it was just so ridiculous how gay it was. 1.00

01:06:55.000 Like, how did I miss this?

01:06:57.000 And so I went on this whole, I went on like a series of Twitter posts of Dalton and what is that?

01:07:04.000 The guy's name, Sam Elliott.

01:07:08.000 Sam Elliott.

01:07:08.000 Yeah, Sam Elliott.

01:07:09.000 Sam Elliott and Dalton hanging out together.

01:07:11.000 I'm like, this is the gayest shit ever. 1.00

01:07:13.000 How did I miss this?

01:07:14.000 Yeah, and he never really wanted to get with that chick.

01:07:16.000 He always just wanted to be like shirtless and look cool in like doorways and shit.

01:07:19.000 Pain don't hurt.

01:07:21.000 Yeah, he just wanted to look tough and cool to her.

01:07:23.000 It was amazing.

01:07:24.000 I know.

01:07:25.000 And like, it was the worst bouncer in history.

01:07:27.000 Like, you're supposed to de-escalate.

01:07:29.000 And he's like, oh, you spill a drink?

01:07:31.000 I'm going to beat the fuck out of 30 people.

01:07:33.000 A bear must eat 90 pounds of food each day.

01:07:38.000 Yeah, if you were telling me.

01:07:39.000 What the fuck?

01:07:40.000 They may intake one Ali Wong per day.

01:07:43.000 During the winter.

01:07:45.000 During the winter.

01:07:46.000 Oh, when food is scarce.

01:07:48.000 Oh, my God.

01:07:48.000 No, no, no.

01:07:49.000 Grizzly bears are specialized to adapt during warmer months to eat a massive amount of food so they can live off the body fat during the winter when food is scarce.

01:07:58.000 So yeah, they don't eat during the winter.

01:07:59.000 Most of the time, they just hibernate.

01:08:00.000 So they get like super, super fat.

01:08:02.000 But they may intake 40 kilograms, 90 pounds of food a day.

01:08:05.000 That's Allie. 0.97

01:08:06.000 Allie Wong's about 90.

01:08:07.000 Well, you were talking about on a podcast about when they eat blueberries, it's an interesting flavor.

01:08:12.000 Yeah, I never experienced it, but apparently that's what everybody says.

01:08:15.000 And Steve Renella had a show about it where he shot a bear on a blueberry patch.

01:08:20.000 And then when he's opening the bear up, you see purple.

01:08:22.000 You see like a purple.

01:08:24.000 It's funny.

01:08:25.000 My new special is literally called Feed the Bear.

01:08:28.000 Yeah, I saw that.

01:08:29.000 Yeah, that's just decided to call it that.

01:08:31.000 Because like when I get hammered, I get like pretty happy.

01:08:34.000 And sometimes, and occasionally, on several occasions, I've been pretty blacked out and just been like, feed the bear, babe, feed the bear.

01:08:41.000 Whether it's about like sex with my wife or more beers or I'm just like, yeah, feed the bear, baby.

01:08:45.000 Come on, feed that bear. 1.00

01:08:46.000 It's a good name for a special, is any.

01:08:46.000 Feed the big old bear.

01:08:49.000 Feed the bear. 0.64

01:08:50.000 Yeah.

01:08:50.000 Yeah, why not?

01:08:52.000 I'm horrible at titling shit.

01:08:54.000 I'll come up with like 50 and just have no fucking idea and I just have to pick something.

01:08:58.000 Yeah, they're tough.

01:09:00.000 It's tough.

01:09:00.000 Like, do you be wacky?

01:09:02.000 Do you be self-indulgent to be precise?

01:09:05.000 Jamie, put all the on-air light.

01:09:07.000 It's bothering me that the on-air light is off.

01:09:09.000 I feel like you need to be official for this new studio.

01:09:13.000 Watch that.

01:09:13.000 Bam.

01:09:14.000 That's awesome.

01:09:15.000 Dude, my dick just moved a little bit.

01:09:17.000 Mine too.

01:09:18.000 Nice.

01:09:18.000 And I feel better.

01:09:19.000 I don't know why I need to see that.

01:09:21.000 I need to shut it off.

01:09:22.000 Turn it on when I walk in the room.

01:09:25.000 But yeah, man, bears, fuck bears.

01:09:27.000 Fuck them.

01:09:28.000 It's the reason why we had to build houses.

01:09:30.000 We'd all be living in tents if there was no mountain lions and bears and shit.

01:09:33.000 And black bears are, everyone says, oh, because we have a bunch of black bears and they always say how harmless they are, but they're definitely not.

01:09:39.000 They're not harmless.

01:09:40.000 They can still fuck you up.

01:09:41.000 A kid got killed last year in Alaska during a road rage.

01:09:46.000 A kid was in a road race.

01:09:47.000 He was 16 years old and he was running and he called his mom to say that a bear was following him and he might be in trouble.

01:09:53.000 The bear killed him.

01:09:55.000 Oh man, so sad.

01:09:56.000 The bear, when the park ranger showed up, the bear was trying to shoo them away from his cache because he had buried the kid, pulled the kid's body into the forest and was covering it up with leaves and shit.

01:10:10.000 And they came and he was defending his kill.

01:10:13.000 Yeah, so that's the high stakes shit.

01:10:15.000 Fuck bears.

01:10:16.000 Yeah, fuck bears.

01:10:18.000 Bears are not yogi.

01:10:19.000 I'm not saying we should eliminate them.

01:10:21.000 I'm not saying we should kill them all and make them extinct, but don't put them above people. 0.99

01:10:26.000 You're a goddamn crazy person.

01:10:28.000 If you think about your children, think about your mother, think about people that you love that could easily have been eaten by this bear and understand that these things are a consequence of the natural world that we engage with.

01:10:40.000 And you cannot put them above people.

01:10:42.000 It's just, you are a traitor to your species.

01:10:45.000 Yeah, of course.

01:10:45.000 100%.

01:10:46.000 You're missing the whole lesson that was learned by civilization.

01:10:50.000 And we miss it too.

01:10:52.000 The people that only think that civilization is the key and that fuck the animals, they miss it too.

01:10:57.000 But the people that don't understand what the animals actually are, like, you're missing a giant, wolves will eat your family.

01:11:04.000 Dude, a lot of herbivores will. 0.79

01:11:06.000 It's like what you were talking about with the people that used to have to break a rabbit's neck to, you know, like my uncle, my mom's brother, they were so poor that he used to hunt for their food.

01:11:17.000 And then he became wealthy.

01:11:18.000 And now he goes to Africa to hunt, you know, the Cape Buffaloes.

01:11:24.000 And the Cape Buffaloes are really dangerous.

01:11:28.000 Oh, they call them the Black Death.

01:11:30.000 Yeah, I guess they're more dangerous than like lions and shit.

01:11:32.000 They'll fucking rip you apart.

01:11:34.000 Thousands of pounds.

01:11:35.000 They're enormous animals.

01:11:35.000 Yeah.

01:11:37.000 And they, you know, like even lions have a hard time taking those fucking things out.

01:11:42.000 There's a documentary called Relentless Enemies.

01:11:45.000 And it's about this one area of Africa that something happened and the river shifted course.

01:11:51.000 And when the river shifted Course, it created an island, a very large island, but on this island was lions and buffalo.

01:12:00.000 And the lions had to get bigger because all they could kill was the buffalo. 0.72

01:12:04.000 So these lions, it's a really fascinating thing because they think it only happened.

01:12:10.000 Man, I don't want to talk out of school because I always do, but I think it was like 200 years ago.

01:12:14.000 I think it was like a real recent amount of time.

01:12:16.000 And in that time, these lions had developed like Hulk-like bodies.

01:12:19.000 They look freakish.

01:12:20.000 The average female lion is as big as the average male lion on mainland Africa.

01:12:26.000 Dude, it's crazy how fast evolution moves.

01:12:27.000 It's like there's this type of moth in England that was white and it used to hide on the birch.

01:12:33.000 And then when the Industrial Revolution kicked off, it made everything sooty.

01:12:38.000 And the fucking moth was black in like 30 years.

01:12:41.000 Jeez.

01:12:41.000 Because the birch just kept picking off all the white ones.

01:12:44.000 And then like the only three that were black are getting all the pussy. 1.00

01:12:48.000 Yeah, it's like they say a white person becomes black if they have to live an African lifestyle sub-Saharan in 20,000 years.

01:12:48.000 That's crazy.

01:12:55.000 Like you're totally black. 1.00

01:12:57.000 Yeah.

01:12:58.000 Well, that's what white is. 0.93

01:12:59.000 What white is is a solar panel for vitamin D. Totally.

01:13:02.000 That's all it is.

01:13:03.000 Yeah, we're just fucking snow monkeys.

01:13:04.000 Everybody is.

01:13:06.000 Everybody's the same.

01:13:06.000 We would have been way better off.

01:13:08.000 We only looked, we all looked the same.

01:13:10.000 And the only thing that separated us were how fucking stupid you were.

01:13:14.000 We would have been way better off.

01:13:15.000 That'd be unbelievable.

01:13:16.000 Yeah, we'd be able to categorize people in like effective ways.

01:13:20.000 But instead, you got these white people that are only into other white people. 0.60

01:13:23.000 Like, hey, fuckheads.

01:13:25.000 It's the least effective category.

01:13:27.000 It's such a bad category.

01:13:29.000 Like, but dummies versus smarties, that's a good category.

01:13:32.000 It's a great category.

01:13:33.000 Same with, like, you know, I judge people based on like pleated pants. 0.82

01:13:36.000 Whether you can keep a secret.

01:13:37.000 Keep a secret is massive.

01:13:40.000 Like, keep a secret is huge.

01:13:42.000 It's huge.

01:13:43.000 It's huge.

01:13:44.000 That's why it's like, I'll get on board.

01:13:47.000 I'll get on board with some shits moving around, but I don't want to.

01:13:51.000 I'm not a big reveal guy.

01:13:52.000 I think that shit's for the birds.

01:13:54.000 Big reveal guy?

01:13:55.000 Like when people just talk shit about people, or it's like, guess what I know?

01:13:59.000 It's like, I know it.

01:14:00.000 I'm not like that.

01:14:01.000 That's a distraction.

01:14:04.000 If you don't have to do that, you shouldn't do that.

01:14:06.000 But the only reason why you want to do that is we want to create some excitement outside of what you're actually doing to progress the life that you're living.

01:14:16.000 Unless you're like calling someone out, like someone committed a crime or something like that.

01:14:16.000 Right?

01:14:16.000 Yeah.

01:14:20.000 We're not talking about that.

01:14:21.000 But it's like this idea.

01:14:22.000 I'm just saying I could keep a secret with a crime too, if you ever.

01:14:24.000 I can too.

01:14:26.000 The instinct, the instinct to engage in that is all negative, you know?

01:14:31.000 And I think it goes back to that whole reward system thing.

01:14:35.000 I think in a lot of ways, we're very programmed to not just accept, but even seek out conflict and to be upset about things and to look for those things in the news.

01:14:47.000 Look for those things.

01:14:48.000 How often do you see conflict with humans?

01:14:51.000 If you see Manhattan, right?

01:14:53.000 And you see all these people that are driving their cars, walking, get on the bus, get on the train, the vast majority show no conflict with each other.

01:15:02.000 The absolute vast majority.

01:15:06.000 It's actually amazing.

01:15:07.000 It's fucking amazing.

01:15:08.000 Imagine chimps.

01:15:09.000 Like we're so peaceful compared to what we could be.

01:15:12.000 But now compare that to the vast majority of interactions online.

01:15:17.000 No.

01:15:18.000 No comparison.

01:15:20.000 Online might be 50% conflict.

01:15:24.000 Yeah, and it's absurd conflict.

01:15:26.000 It's like, I'm going to fuck your mouth with a gun.

01:15:26.000 Yeah.

01:15:28.000 I'm like, I thought we were talking about healthcare.

01:15:30.000 Wait a minute.

01:15:30.000 You can't even do that.

01:15:31.000 Does someone explain to you what fuck is?

01:15:34.000 You can't, you don't.

01:15:36.000 One on the chalkboard if you fuck my mouth with a gun.

01:15:39.000 Yeah.

01:15:39.000 It's like when you reveal that you don't know something based on an intense insult.

01:15:43.000 Did you see that thing that someone wrote about Ivanka Trump?

01:15:46.000 All the different words that she uses wrong and like that she doesn't understand English?

01:15:50.000 No.

01:15:52.000 I mean, look, man, how old is she? 0.79

01:15:54.000 Like 30?

01:15:55.000 I don't know.

01:15:57.000 She's not old, right?

01:15:58.000 No, for sure not.

01:15:59.000 Yeah, for sure don't.

01:16:01.000 36.

01:16:02.000 36?

01:16:04.000 I'll give her a pass until she is 38. 0.98

01:16:06.000 Just, you know, most people don't know how to use words correctly.

01:16:12.000 And then all of a sudden you're fucking dad the president.

01:16:14.000 You're like, wait, I thought you were a reality show host.

01:16:16.000 Right.

01:16:16.000 I think I thought I had an easy road here.

01:16:18.000 What the fuck?

01:16:20.000 I thought I would never reach the public eye.

01:16:22.000 I would be fucking flying private jets to Israel every year.

01:16:25.000 You're like, now I need to know what magnanimity means.

01:16:28.000 Yeah, what?

01:16:29.000 What about the yacht on the Caribbean?

01:16:31.000 That's hilarious.

01:16:32.000 That's what I was preparing my 35 years for.

01:16:35.000 And all of a sudden, I have to figure out the correct use of words.

01:16:38.000 Dude, I got a massive verbal skills and horrible spelling.

01:16:43.000 I have like this weird, like my ability to hear words, remember words, my vocabulary is huge, but I spell like a fucking idiot.

01:16:50.000 My spelling's atrocious.

01:16:52.000 Like horrible.

01:16:53.000 Well, I rely on that squiggly line.

01:16:53.000 Yeah.

01:16:55.000 That red squiggly line, that's so critical for me.

01:16:58.000 But what about no suggestions?

01:17:00.000 I don't play that game, man.

01:17:01.000 That's like, you know, like swinging an axe without steel-toed boots, right?

01:17:07.000 But sometimes I don't realize it's in Spanish.

01:17:10.000 Oh, yeah.

01:17:10.000 And like, cause, you know, I'm flying, you know, it's on my late-night rants.

01:17:14.000 My thumbs are flying.

01:17:14.000 I'm flying.

01:17:15.000 Thumbs.

01:17:16.000 So you do everything 100% from your phone?

01:17:18.000 Everything from phone.

01:17:19.000 That's a stronger addiction because you're not even pretending you might get some productivity done.

01:17:24.000 Like if you're on your laptop and you got Microsoft Word opened and occasionally you check Twitter, like, what, bitch, you don't know shit about Beethoven. 0.99

01:17:33.000 Right.

01:17:34.000 Well, that's funny.

01:17:35.000 That's what I'm trying to wind down, which is crazy because it's like the worst way to wind down is just like cyber conflict.

01:17:41.000 That's not a way to wind down.

01:17:43.000 That's not the way to wind down.

01:17:44.000 Because my wife will fall asleep before me, and then, you know, I don't want to watch TV and be loud.

01:17:49.000 And then sometimes I'll go in other rooms and shit, but, you know.

01:17:53.000 Well, I think, I mean, this is very pretentious to say, but it is true. 0.69

01:17:58.000 I think that all of us who are having a chance to talk about our experiences in this life are influencing each other.

01:18:05.000 That includes you.

01:18:07.000 That includes everybody I know.

01:18:08.000 That includes Ari Shafir and Tom Segura and Duncan.

01:18:11.000 We're all influencing each other.

01:18:14.000 And we're all, in some way, helping each other mitigate all the weird influences that we experience.

01:18:22.000 And there's a big one.

01:18:24.000 The big one is our addiction to information, and that the addiction to information can overwhelm your ability to process the information.

01:18:33.000 Like if you're just reading shit about like world news and breaking news and all the craziness, if you're doing that all day while you're awake, like if you gave your phone, like if somebody had a phone and they had one of them Mopi packs so they can keep that bitch running and checking the internet all day. 0.98

01:18:53.000 At the end of the day, have you even taken the time to momentarily reflect about what any of this means?

01:19:02.000 Or are you just taking in, fucking guy with a truck killed bikers, you know, retweet, fuck that guy, fuck this guy, oh, Dustin Hoppins piece of shit too, retweet.

01:19:14.000 How much time are you spending where you're thinking about life, yourself, the world around you, what are the motivations for all this?

01:19:25.000 Like this kid that ran over these people in New York, what's his motivation?

01:19:28.000 Who is he?

01:19:29.000 Who did the most awful job ever of parenting this fucking monster? 0.82

01:19:34.000 Right.

01:19:34.000 Or you think that Allah wants him to stomp on the gas and run over a bunch of people.

01:19:38.000 Because that guy really dark.

01:19:40.000 Because I was just on that bike path with my son and I just, I'm trying to stay objective sometimes and I'm like, yeah.

01:19:47.000 And then I'm like, fuck you.

01:19:49.000 It's like emotions, man, because Peterson talks about how the need for information is the same part of the brain for foraging food.

01:19:58.000 And now that we have all this food, we're foraging other shit.

01:20:01.000 And I think it's like, I think that's a really good point.

01:20:04.000 It can't be stressed enough.

01:20:05.000 Now that we have all this food, we're foraging other shit.

01:20:08.000 Yeah.

01:20:09.000 We're foraging outrage.

01:20:10.000 We're foraging the need for reform.

01:20:13.000 We're foraging this violent interaction between cultures. 1.00

01:20:17.000 We're foraging all this fucking craziness online.

01:20:21.000 Like every day you're seeing more and more craziness.

01:20:24.000 People telling people they can't wear braids.

01:20:27.000 People tell, you know, like people tell me.

01:20:29.000 Cultural appropriation is the most insane psychotic thing.

01:20:32.000 And it's getting worse.

01:20:34.000 Not on my Twitter timeline.

01:20:35.000 I think Jamie Kilstein did us all a giant favor.

01:20:38.000 I'm not being disingenuous.

01:20:40.000 I think he did.

01:20:41.000 And I don't hate that guy.

01:20:43.000 Like, I've had bad moments in my life when I've made dumb decisions.

01:20:47.000 Owning up to those dumb decisions makes you a real character, like someone of real character to me.

01:20:55.000 I was going to say a real man, but it applies to women as well. 0.82

01:20:58.000 Like owning up to those fuck-ups is so goddamn huge.

01:21:01.000 And Jamie did it.

01:21:03.000 And I think we need to understand like when someone does do something like that, you got to stand up and fucking golf clap.

01:21:11.000 You got to.

01:21:12.000 You got to let people know that.

01:21:14.000 And there's a lot of other people that also could have these revelations and these moments and stand up and be real with you.

01:21:21.000 And then all of us would recognize those moments and those feelings in our own self.

01:21:26.000 And we can move on better.

01:21:28.000 We can move on better than we're doing.

01:21:30.000 What Jamie did by coming on this podcast and talking about his life as a social justice warrior and all the nuttiness that he was involved in and all the rules and regulations of what you could and couldn't say and how he knew it.

01:21:41.000 And even though he thought things were wrong, he couldn't express himself because it would be outside of the progressive doctrine that they had to all follow by.

01:21:50.000 That's giant, man.

01:21:51.000 That's giant for all of us because just like Jordan Peterson has expressed that we could all be Nazis if we were that person in that circumstance with those, you know, those stresses and pressures.

01:22:01.000 That's what terrifies us about all this stuff, that you could be that person.

01:22:06.000 That if you were born in Uzbekistan or wherever the fuck this terrorist was born that ran over these people, that if all the terrible things that happened to him happened to you, you could be that guy who's hitting that gas.

01:22:20.000 There's no difference between you and me and Jamie and everybody listening.

01:22:24.000 We're all just people.

01:22:26.000 And we're a combination of biology, we're a combination of life experiences and our community and our circumstances and what we've learned.

01:22:35.000 We have to recognize that instead of like trying to appear to have moral superiority over everybody above you because you haven't committed murder yet or you haven't run a red light where it wound up killing someone because you have an impulsive desire to get to work on time or you haven't drove home drunk because you made a mistake and your girlfriend left the party and you were fucking pissed and you got in your car and you plowed into a car.

01:23:01.000 All those things, we want to demonize people because we're scared to death of seeing those ideas in ourself or seeing those actions in ourselves.

01:23:10.000 Yeah, and that Soljanitson line, the line between good and evil is right down the middle of a person's heart, you know, that we have that none of us are just good or bad and we can't just proclaim someone as bad and us good unfairly.

01:23:25.000 Those are the people I root against.

01:23:27.000 It's not the flawed humans that make mistakes and just are human.

01:23:31.000 It's the people that demonize everyone but them and you see that they're almost just, it's projecting.

01:23:36.000 It's like the biggest homophobes, the gay guy, you know?

01:23:38.000 Yes.

01:23:40.000 and that's what gets me angry.

01:23:42.000 And it's like when you're trying to get social, like what happened to me with the, with the define that, that kid situation where it's like, Most people don't know the circumstances.

01:23:53.000 So there was this guy who had a three-year-old boy that he claimed is transgendered and identified as a girl and started putting dresses on the kid and treating him like a girl and was planning on giving him hormone therapy so they don't go through puberty.

01:24:11.000 And this dude has like power in Hollywood, you know, and I just called him out and I got swarmed and I just didn't stop because I'm like, I'll die on this hill.

01:24:21.000 That's a hill to die on.

01:24:22.000 When you're deciding that a three-year-old is done developing and understands how it drives me crazy.

01:24:28.000 What we're talking to is akin to like a seance where you find out that you were a Roman emperor from 1700.

01:24:33.000 That fucking three-year-old barely understands how to express himself.

01:24:38.000 The idea that a three-year-old can give you a complex definition of their sexual and gender identity at three.

01:24:48.000 And that this isn't such, that you should go in and chemically influence that kid's being.

01:24:53.000 Stero, make him a eunuch. 0.97

01:24:54.000 Yes.

01:24:55.000 And it's like, and it's fucking insane.

01:24:57.000 And it's a projection of the father's ego.

01:24:59.000 It's not even like.

01:25:00.000 Is it?

01:25:01.000 Yeah, the virtue state.

01:25:02.000 Oh, it's just a coincidence that it's a San Francisco NPR guy that everyone in Hollywood has his back for some fucking reason, even as a child.

01:25:11.000 It's like, it's.

01:25:12.000 What are the circumstances?

01:25:13.000 Explain what.

01:25:15.000 So this dude, John Hodgman, who I thought I was cool with, I met him doing a morning radio show.

01:25:21.000 And he was like, when Mel Brooks said PC shit's ruining comedy or something, all these comedians were like going against Mel Brooks.

01:25:28.000 And I'm like, wait a minute.

01:25:30.000 Are we the bad guys now?

01:25:32.000 What comedians, though?

01:25:34.000 Paul F. Tompkin was talking.

01:25:36.000 And I was like, dude, you're like the bad guy from Footloose now, you know?

01:25:36.000 Yeah.

01:25:41.000 And so I'm just being open about this.

01:25:46.000 It's like there's a few things I'll stand behind.

01:25:48.000 Free speech, don't fuck the kids. 0.97

01:25:51.000 Don't hurt the kids.

01:25:52.000 Don't hurt the kids.

01:25:54.000 Yeah, just be good to the kids.

01:25:57.000 That's you.

01:25:59.000 I mean, it's you.

01:26:00.000 I mean, that's what every child is you.

01:26:02.000 All of us.

01:26:03.000 I know.

01:26:04.000 Especially when you're a little tiny person.

01:26:06.000 You have this insane responsibility as a big person when you're dealing with a little tiny person.

01:26:12.000 And now that I have a tiny person, it made me more of a man and an adult.

01:26:17.000 I just felt so much more responsibility.

01:26:20.000 That's how you learn on the job, too.

01:26:20.000 100%.

01:26:22.000 You learn on the job.

01:26:23.000 Like you realize along the way, like, oh, I'm like literally dealing with a blank slate and I can't even process this.

01:26:30.000 That my fucking bizarre, ridiculous life of telling jokes and in your case, playing songs with pianos and ridiculous shit that you say on Twitter.

01:26:41.000 This somehow or another qualifies you to raise a human being.

01:26:46.000 It's so intense.

01:26:47.000 It's so intense.

01:26:48.000 And also it's like, I've always thought I was a good guy, but not like, I never thought I was like deserving of anything special, you know, but then once you see a kid, you're like, he's fucking pure still, man.

01:27:01.000 You know, I'm like, I've done some shit, you know.

01:27:04.000 So that's why I think just as myself younger, I wouldn't have been quite as like into, I've always stuck up for the underdog and people being abused and shit, but now I'm like, I have to be better for like the next generation because I see him look at me like humans can be good.

01:27:21.000 He's like, dad, dad, dad, dad, you know, and I'm like, holy fuck, dad dad's a good guy.

01:27:27.000 You know, and like, I never really knew if I was a good guy.

01:27:29.000 Right.

01:27:29.000 And this is a good experience between you and him.

01:27:32.000 He's enjoying it immensely.

01:27:34.000 Oh, dude.

01:27:35.000 It's giant.

01:27:36.000 And it's just like he watches me, watches me hit my foot with my axe.

01:27:39.000 And he's like, don't do what Dad Dad does.

01:27:41.000 Do you ever think about the fact that, and this is a conflict that I've discussed ad nauseum with some of my friends, that every one of my friends that I know came from a fucked up place.

01:27:52.000 Like all the people that I'm friends with whether it's Callan or Joey Diaz or anybody, Redband or Duncan, though their childhood was fucking chaos.

01:28:00.000 Right.

01:28:00.000 Ari Shafir, like everybody's childhood was a mess.

01:28:04.000 Yeah, I think it's a, to make a good comic that's still a good dude, I think it's a, it's a combo of like love, like your grandfather, and chaos.

01:28:12.000 Yeah.

01:28:13.000 Where it's almost like you get chaos.

01:28:14.000 Or else we're just killers.

01:28:16.000 Well, that's the problem, right?

01:28:16.000 Right.

01:28:18.000 I think that goddamn comedy and murder are so closely related.

01:28:22.000 I know, and we're just on the good.

01:28:23.000 Why do we call it killing?

01:28:24.000 I mean, that is literally why we call it killing.

01:28:24.000 Yeah.

01:28:27.000 Because my mom listened to our last podcast and she was like, I love that you're friends with Joe.

01:28:31.000 Like you guys both have like, you're kind of fucked up, but good guys.

01:28:35.000 And where it's like you experience these like traumatic events and you experience damage, you know, and then you have paths in life and you're like, I'm going to seek the good in this, but we're still, you know, low impulse control comedians, but still, you know, we're not just killers.

01:28:50.000 Well, we're actually nice people, but we're realizing we're nice people in the middle of a life with a tremendous amount of momentum of chaos behind it.

01:28:59.000 And then all of a sudden you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hit the brace.

01:28:59.000 Chaos.

01:29:02.000 Yeah.

01:29:02.000 Okay.

01:29:03.000 Yeah, like belly of the beast shit, man.

01:29:04.000 You know, it's like, I might as well have had a Viking ship for the last 10 years where you're just viking it up.

01:29:09.000 And it's like, and then you see the order you need, the chaos and order, you know, and you see the order with a child.

01:29:15.000 And then you see these people trying to exploit children.

01:29:18.000 And I was just awake.

01:29:20.000 You know, I'm just like, you know what?

01:29:22.000 I'm like, I don't, and then people in LA that I thought were my friends, not good friends, not like comics, but like middle management.

01:29:22.000 Fuck you.

01:29:29.000 That's what the evil is.

01:29:30.000 Well, you know what it is, man?

01:29:31.000 It's like supporting transgender rights eclipses all the logic involved and the subtle nuances of human behavior and sexuality. 0.99

01:29:42.000 And the idea that a three-year-old could have any notion of like what it's going to be like to be eight or what it's going to be like to be 16 or whether or not hormonal changes are going to affect the way he expresses himself.

01:29:56.000 And also, you're looking at this kid and you're deciding that this kid, because they're three, is going to be transgender and you want to turn him into a girl.

01:30:04.000 What if this kid decides he's a gay man in five years? 0.94

01:30:06.000 They kill themselves.

01:30:07.000 Right.

01:30:08.000 Well, what if they decide that they're bisexual in 20 years? 0.74

01:30:12.000 You know, if you care about that child, you don't interfere with that process because I'm not the same thing that I was when I was three and you're not either.

01:30:21.000 No one is.

01:30:22.000 So to inject hormones and chemicals and even surgery, that we really have a very limited understanding about how much this interaction between a scalpel and a baby body, how much of the impact that has.

01:30:35.000 You're giving someone the green light?

01:30:37.000 They're talking about like making this kid a eunuch?

01:30:40.000 Well, yeah, they won't go through puberty.

01:30:43.000 What are they saying they won't go through?

01:30:44.000 It's called hormone blockers.

01:30:46.000 And I kept asking him directly, I'm like, say yes or no.

01:30:48.000 Are you going to give him hormone blockers?

01:30:50.000 Because it's fine if he wants to wear a dress, have some fun playtime, fine.

01:30:54.000 But you're going to tell him he's a girl.

01:30:55.000 But here's the thing, it's not even playtime.

01:30:57.000 It's like, what if the kid feels better when he wears a dress?

01:31:01.000 Fine.

01:31:01.000 Like, we've all decided that pants and a shirt is the way to go.

01:31:06.000 And if you don't wear pants and a shirt, I know you're a homo. 1.00

01:31:10.000 Like, if you were sitting there wearing a big girl skirt, what do I give a fuck? 1.00

01:31:16.000 If you were wearing a kilt and I'm like, ah, I love Scotland.

01:31:19.000 Right.

01:31:19.000 I wouldn't care.

01:31:20.000 If you and my brother used to piss on each other.

01:31:23.000 Well, I shouldn't have said that out loud.

01:31:24.000 I have low employment.

01:31:25.000 That's not the worst thing in the world.

01:31:27.000 Doug Stanley pissed on Ari Shafir last week, like a couple of days ago, on a podcast.

01:31:31.000 That's awesome.

01:31:33.000 Yeah, pissing happens.

01:31:34.000 I didn't mean to cut you off.

01:31:35.000 You were talking about the Scottish.

01:31:36.000 Yeah, I mean, who gives a shit if you dress like a girl? 1.00

01:31:38.000 What I give a shit is if you step in and you, in any way, interfere with the physical, sexual, biological development of a child because you think it's the right thing to do progressively, that you think it's the right thing to do, the right way to approach a fucking three-year-old.

01:31:56.000 Like, you are the problem.

01:31:58.000 You're my God.

01:32:00.000 We're not talking about one plus one equals two.

01:32:02.000 We're talking about a super complex, very nuanced issue.

01:32:06.000 And if this child decides when it's X amount years old, whatever we decide, 30, whatever the fuck we decide, to take the decision to get gender reassignment, that's 100% cool with me.

01:32:18.000 I have no problem with that.

01:32:18.000 Of course.

01:32:19.000 But that's a person who understands who they are as a fully developed organism, not a fucking baby.

01:32:27.000 Three.

01:32:28.000 That's a baby.

01:32:29.000 Dude, and part of me, it's like this, like, I see myself in the kid where I'm like, I played classical piano and knitted.

01:32:37.000 Like, I used to like knit cloth.

01:32:39.000 I used to weave.

01:32:40.000 I went to the thing with your piano teacher.

01:32:43.000 Like my piano.

01:32:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:45.000 Like my dad is like a, my parents are married.

01:32:47.000 They have a great marriage, but it's like almost like a reverse gender marriage in a way where my dad's like a flamboyant opera singer, professor, and my mom, like 6'1, loves sports, wears sweatpants, you know.

01:32:56.000 Like my first bit was I was the only guy in the straight closet.

01:33:00.000 I used to be like, my dad would be like, let's go see Rent again, son.

01:33:03.000 And I'm like, I want to play catch with mom.

01:33:06.000 That's hilarious.

01:33:07.000 And so I played piano since I was a kid.

01:33:10.000 What about your piano teacher?

01:33:11.000 Yeah, when I was 11, my piano teacher became a dude.

01:33:14.000 And the bit I tried to work on, but people don't believe like some of the best.

01:33:18.000 By the way, that's a long time ago.

01:33:19.000 How old are you now?

01:33:20.000 Oh, I'm 37.

01:33:21.000 So I was 91.

01:33:22.000 That was an OG shit.

01:33:23.000 Oh, that's OG surgery.

01:33:31.000 Like, we're friends, but I don't think he realizes what's it become.

01:33:35.000 You know, because it's like, now it's like, oh, you don't believe in making a three-year-old a eunuch?

01:33:39.000 You're full of, hey.

01:33:41.000 Yeah, this is not wise.

01:33:44.000 Because if you just look at it in not in terms of like how a child should identify, but in terms of like the biological process of a developing human being, it's very, very touch and go.

01:33:54.000 We don't really understand what it is.

01:33:56.000 This is what you should try to do with a kid.

01:33:57.000 You should try to give them nutrients.

01:33:59.000 You should try to give them love.

01:34:01.000 You try to give them safety and try to give them challenges.

01:34:04.000 Totally.

01:34:05.000 Give them things to get over.

01:34:06.000 But the idea that you are going to decide by your conversation with someone who just started talking 12 months ago.

01:34:13.000 They're still shitting themselves.

01:34:14.000 They don't know how to talk yet.

01:34:15.000 They shit in their pants.

01:34:16.000 But they literally don't know how to talk yet.

01:34:18.000 I know.

01:34:19.000 It's like, I identify.

01:34:20.000 It's like, how the fuck does that work?

01:34:22.000 Do you want to be a girl?

01:34:22.000 Okay.

01:34:23.000 Like, my son dances.

01:34:25.000 Like, he's always dancing and shit.

01:34:26.000 He goes to the piano.

01:34:27.000 He does what dad, dad does.

01:34:28.000 And it's like, this kid's probably trying to impress his dad.

01:34:31.000 And his dad's this fucking asshole.

01:34:33.000 It's like, oh, being trans is brave, dad.

01:34:36.000 Right.

01:34:36.000 And then they're going to make moves where the kid can't go back.

01:34:39.000 Can't go back.

01:34:40.000 When their life is over.

01:34:41.000 You literally turn their life down a dark path.

01:34:46.000 Because here's the thing.

01:34:47.000 And this is super unpopular to say, but the bottom line, whether you decide to become a transgender person, whether you decide to just suppress those ideas, it is at this current stage of our understanding of medical science impossible to actually turn you into a woman.

01:35:05.000 Of course.

01:35:05.000 XXXY.

01:35:07.000 So what we're going to do is have some reasonable facsimile.

01:35:07.000 Right.

01:35:12.000 And it's going to be more reasonable in different people.

01:35:15.000 And some people, they have a slender frame.

01:35:17.000 You know, some people are built like David Tua.

01:35:20.000 And it's just like, whoa, let's girl.

01:35:21.000 Okay, I got to go.

01:35:23.000 If you don't know who David Tua was, big-time heavyweight boxer from the 90s.

01:35:27.000 And you've touched on body dysmorphia with like weightlifters, where it's like, you know, there's certain people that just aren't comfortable in their own skin and want to alter it like with like fucking whether it's bigger boobs or cutting their wiener off or some shit.

01:35:39.000 And as a very big personal liberty guy, I'm all about you doing that, but you don't make that decision for the kids.

01:35:44.000 You don't make the decision for anyone that's under the age of comprehension. 0.58

01:35:48.000 And here's the thing, like, what is that age?

01:35:50.000 Because they say that the frontal lobe doesn't really fully develop until you're 25.

01:35:54.000 Yeah, ask Geico.

01:35:55.000 Yeah.

01:35:56.000 Yeah, they won't insure you.

01:35:57.000 Yeah, they won't insure you as a male.

01:35:59.000 The insurance is up until you're 25 because you're not developed.

01:36:01.000 What about a girl?

01:36:02.000 I think it's a little earlier.

01:36:04.000 I think girls develop a little earlier.

01:36:05.000 I know.

01:36:06.000 I know.

01:36:07.000 I'm fucking pissed.

01:36:08.000 I'm calling some sort of red pill organization.

01:36:10.000 And so long story short, I make these problematic statements and then my agent drops me.

01:36:15.000 How did your agent drop you for saying a three-year-old shouldn't be given chemicals that kill his dick and balls?

01:36:21.000 Because that was rocking the boat, man.

01:36:23.000 But imagine if you just put it that way.

01:36:25.000 So what you are is pro giving kids dick killing chemicals.

01:36:30.000 Is that what you are?

01:36:31.000 Just let me know.

01:36:31.000 Right.

01:36:32.000 It's kind of like when it's like words or violence, you hold up your fist and you go, word or violence.

01:36:36.000 Like that.

01:36:36.000 It immediately cuts through the shit.

01:36:37.000 But for some reason, it's not these days.

01:36:40.000 Words are violence.

01:36:41.000 I mean, that's a big thing now.

01:36:42.000 And it's like this college, UConn dropped me.

01:36:45.000 I had like a good gig and they said that because of your views, you can't work here.

01:36:51.000 Did they specifically talk about which views?

01:36:53.000 Yeah, I even tweeted the email because I was sick of this shit.

01:36:56.000 The trans kids.

01:36:56.000 Trans views.

01:36:57.000 It's only trans kids. 1.00

01:36:58.000 That's my whole thing.

01:36:59.000 But it's trans babies. 0.96

01:37:02.000 Dude, they're toddlers.

01:37:03.000 They're like three.

01:37:05.000 Dude, it's and I'll die in the hill, man.

01:37:07.000 I even asked my brother, like, my buddy.

01:37:10.000 My buddy Mike from Sword and Scale.

01:37:15.000 Like, dude, I literally was like, I'm unemployed.

01:37:18.000 And he had me like read.

01:37:21.000 That's when you know your friends are, man.

01:37:22.000 He's like, yo, will you read this?

01:37:23.000 You can be like a DA in this fucking murder podcast.

01:37:26.000 I was like, great.

01:37:26.000 He's like, I'll throw you some cash.

01:37:28.000 I thought I was out.

01:37:29.000 I'm like, brother, can I do some more tree work?

01:37:31.000 He's like, 20 an hour, you got boots?

01:37:33.000 I'm like, fuck yeah.

01:37:34.000 Dude, he was prepared, man.

01:37:35.000 But think about that, that you, as a guy who I've known for a long time, has been a successful professional comedian, are really always that close to being pushed aside and not given work anymore over something that's totally logical.

01:37:50.000 Dude, I just got in a development deal with True TV and shit.

01:37:53.000 It's not even like I was doing badly.

01:37:55.000 Did True TV keep the development deal?

01:37:57.000 Did they ban?

01:37:57.000 Dude, I don't even have reps anymore.

01:37:59.000 But do you talk to True TV?

01:38:01.000 Like, no, they're cool people.

01:38:04.000 I've just been so like.

01:38:05.000 So the reps all abandoned you by saying that you don't think three-year-olds and trannies. 1.00

01:38:11.000 Yeah, and also, I guess I was saying it was like problematic.

01:38:18.000 I was poking people that aren't allowed to be poked.

01:38:20.000 These powerful middle managers, you know.

01:38:22.000 What were you doing?

01:38:23.000 Just saying, you're wrong, dude.

01:38:26.000 How are you poking them about what?

01:38:27.000 That shit.

01:38:28.000 Like, that's literally it, man.

01:38:30.000 I don't do any of that shit.

01:38:32.000 Like, I don't do e-tweets, man.

01:38:34.000 And then the Sean King shit where I'm like making a joke that I think it'd be hilarious if slavery came back because he'd have to admit he's white. 0.52

01:38:40.000 I mean, that's fucking funny, man.

01:38:42.000 I'm not going to back down on humor.

01:38:44.000 I'm just not.

01:38:44.000 And then he calls me a white supremacist.

01:38:46.000 Actual people with like blue check marks are like, I never knew you're a racist.

01:38:51.000 I'm like, you know, I'm not, man.

01:38:53.000 You know it's a joke about him lying about who he is.

01:38:56.000 And I'm not going to explain to people who he is and what that whole story is because I don't know whether it's true or not, but I know what I've seen online and I know what a lot of like Milo exposed.

01:39:06.000 But if I was Rachel Dolezel right now, I'd be fucking pissed.

01:39:09.000 Oh, Toya, dude.

01:39:10.000 And it's like, even if I'm wrong, let's say he is a black guy with what I'm saying.

01:39:14.000 Well, even if he is, let's be honest.

01:39:16.000 Like, I'm not Irish, but I'm a quarter Irish.

01:39:22.000 Right.

01:39:22.000 But if you look at me, I look like a guinea.

01:39:24.000 I look like an Italian.

01:39:26.000 You know why?

01:39:26.000 Because I'm three quarters Irish or three quarters Italian.

01:39:29.000 So if I had to tell, if someone says, are you Irish?

01:39:31.000 If I was going on TV identifying as an Irishman, people would be able to get that.

01:39:38.000 That's infinitely more.

01:39:39.000 More part Irish than how much Irish are you?

01:39:42.000 I mean, people would say that's disingenuous because no one could tell, nor does anyone care about the distinction between Irish and Italian.

01:39:49.000 You're just a European. 0.98

01:39:50.000 Here you are in America, you know, third generation, no big deal. 0.68

01:39:54.000 But there's a reality to that because, like, what percentage black do you have to be where you say, I'm a black man?

01:40:00.000 Well, because he wants the points.

01:40:02.000 That's why it's not even about pride.

01:40:03.000 Anyone, you don't choose to be a prime.

01:40:05.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:40:06.000 There we go.

01:40:06.000 You don't have to be aware of that.

01:40:08.000 You don't choose to be trans black. 1.00

01:40:10.000 It chooses you.

01:40:11.000 This is my life.

01:40:12.000 My struggle is real.

01:40:13.000 Hashtag wrong skin.

01:40:17.000 Yeah.

01:40:18.000 Is that real?

01:40:19.000 That's real.

01:40:20.000 Well, that is what he talks about.

01:40:20.000 Okay, that's real.

01:40:23.000 That's a real tweet.

01:40:24.000 It's from Owen's thing.

01:40:25.000 I was looking through.

01:40:26.000 I've retweeted some shit that I've been tricked about.

01:40:29.000 Someone could create that.

01:40:31.000 There was a guy.

01:40:32.000 There was a guy that I was following for a while that had a parody account, and he was going by hashtag wrong skin.

01:40:39.000 He was a comedian.

01:40:40.000 And he was always talking about himself as being transracial.

01:40:44.000 But he was doing it like completely preposterous.

01:40:47.000 And he would be like, he would take the ultra progressive, really ridiculous approach to almost every argument.

01:40:53.000 And then always write like hashtag wrong skin.

01:40:55.000 Hilarious.

01:40:56.000 Because it all started because that dude poked at me because I had this bit that I want to be a progressive slave owner where I'm like, I'm like, the reason slavery is wrong is because it's only black people. 0.84

01:41:05.000 That's not right.

01:41:06.000 That's racism.

01:41:07.000 I want all the people.

01:41:07.000 And I'm like, if you can't outrun the nets and the harpoons, welcome to the club.

01:41:11.000 And that's a joke about the absurdity of certain progressive ideals.

01:41:15.000 And then he poked at me somehow.

01:41:17.000 And then I was like, this guy's fucking.

01:41:20.000 Well, if I could be really honest about that, I saw that bit and I was like, I see your point, but I think that's like a first draft of an idea of like slave.

01:41:30.000 I bailed on the joke because it only works in certain cities.

01:41:34.000 But this is why.

01:41:35.000 I mean, this is how I felt.

01:41:36.000 I'm like, okay, no, because I don't want anybody to be slaves.

01:41:40.000 Like, so like the joke is, like, it's kind of cruel in a way.

01:41:44.000 Like, we're not talking about real people.

01:41:46.000 Of course.

01:41:47.000 But the sentiment behind it is people who run slow, anybody who can't get away should be a slave.

01:41:52.000 Like, no, no, no.

01:41:53.000 But you don't really feel that way.

01:41:55.000 You're saying that because you want to poke people.

01:41:59.000 It was so.

01:41:59.000 Well, it was extreme.

01:42:01.000 Honestly, of course.

01:42:02.000 I don't want any slaves.

01:42:04.000 Of course.

01:42:05.000 It was like upside-down.

01:42:07.000 It was upside down satire.

01:42:08.000 Because I was saying it wasn't right.

01:42:13.000 It wasn't quite there.

01:42:14.000 It was like you were in the neighborhood.

01:42:16.000 But that's what our job is.

01:42:17.000 Yes.

01:42:18.000 You know, that's the whole thing.

01:42:19.000 It's like everyone thinks that you start knowing the bit.

01:42:23.000 You know, freedom of speech is all about way overshooting, then pulling back, then finding, you know, and I was overshooting.

01:42:30.000 Like, that's why I do Why Don't They Laugh?

01:42:31.000 Where it's like, look at how this one phrase hurts people and then how you make it not hurt people based on information I didn't previously know.

01:42:39.000 Yeah.

01:42:40.000 You know, and it's like my wife gave me info about, I was doing some bit about how vampires are cultural appropriation for Romanians.

01:42:48.000 And I don't even understand what the point was, but it had something to do with hairy Mexicans. 1.00

01:42:53.000 Holy woman. 0.99

01:42:54.000 What is this?

01:42:55.000 Jamie, what are you trying to do?

01:42:56.000 I was trying to find it.

01:42:58.000 I went in looking for it.

01:43:00.000 He apparently hid it or deleted those tweets.

01:43:02.000 He deleted a lot of tweets.

01:43:03.000 Now Sean King is cranking out a boatload of original tweets in a continued effort to dilute last week's hashtag trans black and hashtag wrong skin tweets.

01:43:14.000 Oh, so you got a bad response to him saying that tweeting about that whole thing for weeks going on into 2016 and a bunch of people.

01:43:21.000 You know, I don't give a fuck, man.

01:43:23.000 If you want to, I feel the same, literally the same way as you feeling that you are a woman or you feeling anything, anything.

01:43:32.000 But the real problem is like the insisting on that definition in a very specific manner that's disingenuous with your actual background.

01:43:42.000 Because everyone is essentially, we all came from Africa.

01:43:48.000 That was the original human beings.

01:43:50.000 And like we said before, being white is solar panels for vitamin D. That's all it is.

01:43:56.000 It's we moved to a place that had a lot of clouds and it wasn't anything like Africa.

01:43:59.000 And slowly, over who knows how many fucking years, people changed and you developed paler and paler skin.

01:44:06.000 That's it.

01:44:06.000 Yeah.

01:44:07.000 So it doesn't matter.

01:44:08.000 I don't care.

01:44:09.000 But just here's here's a better way to do it.

01:44:12.000 Just act the way you feel like you like to act and don't lie about what your background is.

01:44:18.000 And you can be the exact same person.

01:44:18.000 Totally.

01:44:20.000 No one will give a fuck.

01:44:21.000 And the irony is, is he's trying To get victim status when he's not part of a group, and because there is the reason American slavery is so fucking dark is because it was one of the only slave systems based on one race, right?

01:44:34.000 And that's why, like, Carlin did an unbelievable, everything's Carl, like, dude, Carlin's covered it.

01:44:38.000 He has a blitz episode called uh, Addicted to Bondage, Dan Carlin.

01:44:42.000 Yeah, Dan Condition covered a lot of shit.

01:44:44.000 I was talking about that.

01:44:45.000 Dude, I got some of the wolf in me.

01:44:47.000 But, like, Dan Carlin, Addicted to Bondage, were all related to slaves and slave owners.

01:44:51.000 It's like it was actually progressive because of genocide.

01:44:55.000 That's the irony.

01:44:56.000 It's like back in the day, an army wins, they kill everyone.

01:44:59.000 And then some Bernie Sanders guy was like, let's keep some alive.

01:45:02.000 And everyone's like, you're such a fucking lefty, you know?

01:45:04.000 And so we grew out of that.

01:45:07.000 Thank God.

01:45:07.000 Of course, I don't like slavery.

01:45:09.000 I think I'm almost in this position where like I'm a little freaked out that some givens aren't given anymore.

01:45:16.000 Like what?

01:45:17.000 Like that Hitler's bad or I don't like slavery. 0.65

01:45:19.000 It's not just a given.

01:45:19.000 Where I'm like.

01:45:20.000 It's a given.

01:45:21.000 Right.

01:45:22.000 Like who the fuck likes slavery?

01:45:23.000 It's like there's being a human.

01:45:25.000 There's still a bunch of retards out there that think it's a good idea to be a white nationalist. 1.00

01:45:29.000 We've talked about that.

01:45:30.000 Like Charlottesville.

01:45:31.000 Like when you see that guy got pepper sprayed, takes his shirt off, you see a swastika on his chest.

01:45:35.000 Like, okay, what about the Nazis is awesome to you? 0.97

01:45:38.000 What about it?

01:45:39.000 Just fucking gassing random children?

01:45:41.000 Like, sit down.

01:45:42.000 Tell me.

01:45:43.000 Tell me what you think is awesome.

01:45:44.000 A bad war plan in Russia?

01:45:46.000 The idea that are you so fucking stupid that you really think the only people of merit have genetics that come from a certain patch of dirt?

01:45:54.000 Because that was one of the, that's one of the most toxic ideas that all share.

01:46:00.000 And it's toxic in the same way that some of the left shit is toxic, too.

01:46:04.000 They both have this toxic element where like, unless you look at merit and character, you're fucked.

01:46:09.000 Like if you're like, whether or not you think white people are special and then you should keep them down or boost them up, it's both toxic. 0.97

01:46:09.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:46:17.000 I think like when it comes to Rachel Dolezel, like her problem is not that she wants to be black and she's not.

01:46:24.000 Her problem is that people give a fuck about what she wants. 1.00

01:46:28.000 She just didn't have that language. 0.69

01:46:31.000 Imagine her whole world could be exactly the same.

01:46:35.000 The way she behaves could be exactly the same. 1.00

01:46:38.000 The way she dresses, her actions, everything.

01:46:41.000 If she didn't utter a few words, they're like, I'm actually black.

01:46:45.000 And people are like, wait, what?

01:46:46.000 And then they go into her history.

01:46:48.000 No, no, no, no.

01:46:49.000 You lied.

01:46:50.000 You wanted to be black, but you weren't black. 1.00

01:46:52.000 Look, look, look.

01:46:55.000 We have an imposter.

01:46:57.000 And that's just quick, quick, quick.

01:46:58.000 It's just eyeballs.

01:46:59.000 Sean King, I mean, he was a part of Black Lives Matter.

01:47:01.000 Obviously, he wanted to do good.

01:47:02.000 Obviously, he wanted to spread good ideas and help people, the people that he really identified with.

01:47:08.000 If those tweets are real, and I don't know what they are, hashtag wrong skin and hashtag transracial and all that stuff, then that's literally how he felt.

01:47:16.000 He didn't feel it because he hated those people.

01:47:18.000 He felt it because he identified with them and they were more attractive to him than what he actually was.

01:47:22.000 So if he just Paul Walled it and never said, I mean, Paul Wall, right?

01:47:28.000 The rapper with the grill.

01:47:29.000 I mean, isn't that essentially, he's a deep love of black American culture, right?

01:47:35.000 I mean, there's a lot of people that just be themselves and go in.

01:47:39.000 Just go in is what I appreciate more.

01:47:41.000 There's a lot of black people at golf clubs with fucking polo shirts on, right? 1.00

01:47:45.000 Why?

01:47:46.000 Why?

01:47:46.000 Because they identify with that culture.

01:47:48.000 It's appealing to them.

01:47:49.000 We just let people fucking. 1.00

01:47:50.000 Dude, culture's everything, man.

01:47:52.000 Let people be poor.

01:47:53.000 Whoa.

01:47:53.000 And the irony is...

01:47:56.000 You heard about that?

01:47:58.000 And the irony is, is like inner city black culture comes to my shows and thinks I'm funny.

01:48:03.000 Yeah.

01:48:03.000 Because they like that crazy shit.

01:48:05.000 Because you're free.

01:48:06.000 Like, man, you're fucking funny.

01:48:07.000 You're free to talk about things.

01:48:08.000 They just think it's funny.

01:48:08.000 Right.

01:48:10.000 I think when I say they, it's annoying because it's like, of course, not all black people find it funny, but like that culture, that black, redneck, white liberal culture, where it's like, I'm from a culture that's more similar to American southern or urban black culture than a lot of the liberals calling me names.

01:48:26.000 And it's just this type of culture that bonds through shit talking, you know, like Boston, where it's like, if you talk shit, if someone's like, oh, your dad, your dad acts like a home.

01:48:35.000 I'm like, oh, my dad didn't kill himself, you know, and then you're frank.

01:48:38.000 Because it's like you've hit the darkest shit.

01:48:40.000 And then you're like, oh, we'll make it through a winner.

01:48:42.000 Yeah.

01:48:43.000 A winner is a big thing to make it through.

01:48:45.000 Don't you think the people in the West Coast have like a way easier like the idea of what the possibilities are than the people on the East Coast?

01:48:55.000 The people in the East Coast are regularly confronted with potential death if they're dressed wrong.

01:49:00.000 Dude, I live in the Adirondack Mountains, man.

01:49:02.000 It's like, dude, and that's like class doesn't exist in my town.

01:49:02.000 Yeah, I know.

01:49:06.000 You got a fucking shovel.

01:49:08.000 Yeah.

01:49:09.000 What time of the year does it get to where you could die outside?

01:49:13.000 September?

01:49:14.000 July?

01:49:15.000 No.

01:49:17.000 Like, by December, January, you know, we need negative 40.

01:49:21.000 Yeah.

01:49:22.000 Minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit, which is exactly the same as 40 degrees Celsius.

01:49:28.000 That's where it comes to a clutch.

01:49:30.000 Yeah.

01:49:31.000 That's where they embrace.

01:49:32.000 And dude, we have this tiny town, and like, what do they do?

01:49:34.000 Do they get mad?

01:49:35.000 No, we build ice palaces and shit. 0.57

01:49:38.000 Dude.

01:49:38.000 And you stock up on firewood in July and August and September.

01:49:42.000 And there's none of this PC shit.

01:49:44.000 It's like, except for one issue I got a little piss in my town about because like this year, the winter carnival was going to be fiesta themed about Hispanics, but there's like the only Hispanics are my wife and child, you know.

01:49:55.000 And then they're like, oh no, we don't want to like be this.

01:49:58.000 I'm like, it's offensive not to.

01:49:58.000 Right.

01:50:01.000 You know, I'm like, we could do a lumberjack theme, you fucking idiots.

01:50:04.000 Right.

01:50:05.000 Because it's not mocking.

01:50:06.000 There's no any Vikings.

01:50:06.000 Exactly.

01:50:08.000 Me.

01:50:08.000 You can shit on Vikings all day long.

01:50:10.000 All day long.

01:50:11.000 Dude, you wear the big fucking helmet.

01:50:11.000 Nobody cares.

01:50:13.000 You with big horns.

01:50:15.000 Nobody calls you a cultural appropriator if you wear like Viking garb.

01:50:20.000 Or like St. Patty's Day.

01:50:21.000 It's a midget looking for a rainbow trying to get gold. 1.00

01:50:24.000 Yeah.

01:50:24.000 Nobody's going to be able to get away from you.

01:50:26.000 You can wear green all day on St. Patrick's Day.

01:50:28.000 What else?

01:50:31.000 Well, the sombrero for me.

01:50:34.000 He's got an NFL tattoo on his bicep.

01:50:37.000 That guy's pretty intense.

01:50:38.000 Who is that guy?

01:50:39.000 My new chat, someone?

01:50:39.000 I don't know.

01:50:41.000 What does he say?

01:50:42.000 Oh, it was a fan.

01:50:42.000 I don't know.

01:50:43.000 That guy's jacked.

01:50:44.000 That guy's doing it right.

01:50:46.000 Too fanatical.

01:50:47.000 He works out all year just for that fucking scene.

01:50:49.000 Yeah, you could be a Minnesota Viking and nobody gives a shit.

01:50:52.000 But the Cleveland Indians, everybody's like, This is the end of civilization. 0.98

01:50:56.000 I know, and Vikings were like worse than ISIS. 1.00

01:50:58.000 Like, they would show up and just kill and fuck and bail.

01:51:01.000 They were the wrong thing to see.

01:51:03.000 If you went to the beach to try to catch some fish and you saw a boat pull up, there was no satellite radio back then.

01:51:09.000 You didn't know what was coming.

01:51:11.000 If you saw a boat in the distance and that boat had a dragon head at the front of it, you're like, oh, fuck.

01:51:16.000 It's like, oh, dude, they just rode across an ocean.

01:51:18.000 And they were giant.

01:51:19.000 Giant, dude.

01:51:20.000 At any time.

01:51:20.000 For the peak.

01:51:21.000 Yeah.

01:51:22.000 My ancestors, they're probably a little small because they didn't get proper food, right?

01:51:26.000 Like, I bet a giant back then was like 6'2 ⁇ .

01:51:28.000 I did breastfeed for a while.

01:51:29.000 That was the thing about Jack Johnson.

01:51:32.000 Like, Jack Johnson, who was the Galveston giant.

01:51:36.000 But when you find out Jack Johnson's actual height, he was the heavyweight champion of the world, the first black heavyweight boxing champion of the world.

01:51:36.000 That's what they called him.

01:51:44.000 I don't think he was any taller than 6'3.

01:51:46.000 Well, that's a way better height.

01:51:47.000 How tall is he?

01:51:48.000 6'1 ⁇ .

01:51:48.000 6'1?

01:51:49.000 I think that's the best male height.

01:51:50.000 Because 6'7 blows.

01:51:52.000 Yeah, but the Galveston giant, think about that.

01:51:55.000 Think about calling a guy a giant who's only 6'1.

01:51:58.000 But in 1878, he was a fucking giant.

01:52:02.000 Yeah, it's almost like the Middle Ages professor is like the guy that can read one word.

01:52:06.000 He had three wives even back in the day.

01:52:08.000 Go back to that, please.

01:52:10.000 Look at that.

01:52:11.000 Back to the wives? 1.00

01:52:13.000 Where's his Wikipedia page?

01:52:14.000 He just had it.

01:52:16.000 You go to his, whatever it was.

01:52:19.000 If you just go back, it showed the three wives.

01:52:22.000 There it goes.

01:52:23.000 Yeah, see, he spouses.

01:52:23.000 Okay.

01:52:27.000 He got tired of giving the dick to Irene, and then he moved on to Lucille. 1.00

01:52:31.000 These are all white ladies, by the way. 1.00

01:52:33.000 He got tired of giving the dick to her. 0.98

01:52:35.000 Moved on to Eda.

01:52:36.000 Gave the dick to her. 1.00

01:52:38.000 He's like an LL Cool Jay song.

01:52:40.000 Bam, that's crazy.

01:52:42.000 I was looking for overlap.

01:52:43.000 Hold on, go back, please.

01:52:44.000 Jamie's just a clicking fiend.

01:52:46.000 He loves clicking.

01:52:48.000 Look at that.

01:52:49.000 The last one is Irene was the last one, I guess.

01:52:52.000 1946.

01:52:54.000 How did he die?

01:52:55.000 He died in some strange way.

01:52:57.000 But he was only 200 pounds, too.

01:52:59.000 That was a giant back then.

01:53:01.000 Imagine that.

01:53:02.000 That's so intense.

01:53:03.000 Yeah, that's nuts.

01:53:04.000 I mean, you got to be like 240, right?

01:53:05.000 How much you weigh?

01:53:06.000 250.

01:53:07.000 I'm like 15 over, too, because of the beers and the fires.

01:53:10.000 Beers and fires.

01:53:10.000 Because they work out every day.

01:53:11.000 It's fire, buddy.

01:53:12.000 Fire doesn't put weight on you.

01:53:14.000 I know, but it makes me drink the beers.

01:53:16.000 And it also makes me cook a lot of meat with like fucked up sauces. 0.91

01:53:20.000 How does he die?

01:53:20.000 What does it say?

01:53:22.000 Does it say his death?

01:53:25.000 It was a really interesting thing because it's pretty widely believed that he took a dive when he lost the title.

01:53:33.000 And that he was just tired of getting arrested constantly and harassed.

01:53:37.000 And he just wanted out.

01:53:38.000 He was sick of crushing.

01:53:40.000 Sick of white people. 0.96

01:53:42.000 You know, he's banging a lot of white chicks. 1.00

01:53:43.000 Dude, that was some heat back then, too.

01:53:46.000 That could get you killed.

01:53:47.000 That was way before Black.com.

01:53:51.000 If you're banging, what is it?

01:53:52.000 He died in a car crash on the U.S. Highway 1 near Franklinton, North Carolina.

01:53:59.000 Wow.

01:54:00.000 After racing angrily from a diner that refused to serve him.

01:54:04.000 Good for hell.

01:54:05.000 He's getting pissed.

01:54:06.000 Dude, he was taken to the closest black hospital, St. Agnes Hospital in Raleigh.

01:54:13.000 And he was 68 years of age at the time of his death.

01:54:20.000 He was buried near Etta, who was, I guess, his last woman.

01:54:24.000 His grave was initially unmarked, but a stone that bears only the name Johnson now stands above the plots of Jack, Etta, and Irene.

01:54:32.000 Wow, that's dark, man. 0.78

01:54:33.000 That's really crazy.

01:54:34.000 I mean, that guy was just born in the wrong fucking time.

01:54:39.000 Dude, that was Bane, man.

01:54:40.000 That guy was born in darkness.

01:54:42.000 Like, imagine being black in the fucking early 20th century.

01:54:45.000 Like, holy shit.

01:54:46.000 And he just rose.

01:54:48.000 He became a champion.

01:54:49.000 He became the champion.

01:54:51.000 And an interesting style.

01:54:52.000 If you watch the way he fought, he fought different.

01:54:55.000 He fought different than other people.

01:54:57.000 What did he do?

01:54:58.000 Well, he just had a long reach, and he had really good power for the time.

01:55:02.000 And he was just very smart.

01:55:04.000 He knew how to drag guys into deep water and beat the fuck out of them.

01:55:07.000 But he fought like a murderous puncher who was a middleweight champion named Stanley Ketchell.

01:55:12.000 It's a fascinating fight because Stanley Ketchell only weighed like 160 pounds.

01:55:16.000 He's his tiny little dude, but he was just a little savage.

01:55:20.000 Stanley Ketchell crapped Jack Johnson on the chin and fucking dropped him.

01:55:24.000 And it was like a big deal at the time because everybody wanted a white guy to beat the heavyweight title holder.

01:55:30.000 And the white guy was way smaller.

01:55:32.000 Look how small Ketchell is.

01:55:34.000 I mean, he's fucking way smaller than Jack Johnson.

01:55:37.000 But Jack Johnson overestimated him.

01:55:40.000 And Stanley Ketchell caught him with a murderous right hand.

01:55:44.000 Stanley Ketchell was a savage.

01:55:46.000 He was the middleweight champion of the world.

01:55:50.000 This is Tommy Burns.

01:55:52.000 It looks like Mike Tyson's punching.

01:55:54.000 beat the shit out of Tommy Burns.

01:55:55.000 See if you can fight...

01:55:59.000 Find Stanley Ketchell.

01:56:01.000 Stanley Ketchell was the guy who was the middleweight champion.

01:56:04.000 And it was a really interesting thing because Jack Johnson seems like he's taking it easy with him for a little bit.

01:56:11.000 And then Ketchell catches him with a bomb.

01:56:14.000 Whoa! 0.71

01:56:16.000 Is that it?

01:56:17.000 This is like, look, they had warm-up stuff.

01:56:20.000 They were warming up.

01:56:20.000 And they showed him training, like how they would train back then.

01:56:23.000 It's really interesting.

01:56:24.000 Nobody knew what the fuck to do.

01:56:26.000 They all just run through the streets and shit.

01:56:27.000 Like, should we run?

01:56:28.000 That's awesome.

01:56:29.000 They're just trying to figure it out.

01:56:31.000 Yeah, that's Stanley Ketchell.

01:56:32.000 Way smaller.

01:56:34.000 Just way smaller than Jack Johnson.

01:56:36.000 I mean, Johnson might have been 30 pounds heavier than him.

01:56:40.000 Maybe even more.

01:56:41.000 Do you think like a Mighty Mouse could take that dude right now?

01:56:43.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

01:56:44.000 Like in boxing now?

01:56:44.000 For sure.

01:56:45.000 No, I mean, he wouldn't, not in boxing, but in MMA, you would never hit him.

01:56:50.000 I mean, unless you figured out some way to stop him from moving.

01:56:55.000 He's so fast.

01:56:56.000 He would anticipate your movement, and he would just slowly drag these fucking guys to the ground.

01:57:00.000 Yeah, he's like Neo from Matrix.

01:57:02.000 I started watching a bunch of clips based on your endorsement.

01:57:06.000 You were talking about how he's like pound for pound, just the craziest fighter ever.

01:57:10.000 He's my best.

01:57:11.000 It's not the craziest because he doesn't fight crazy.

01:57:14.000 He fights smart.

01:57:16.000 See if you can find where Ketchell drops him because it's a big deal.

01:57:20.000 Because nobody expected it.

01:57:21.000 I think this is already what Ketchell's getting fucked up.

01:57:23.000 You see his face is all blue.

01:57:27.000 Oh, look at that.

01:57:28.000 Whoa.

01:57:29.000 He got jacked.

01:57:31.000 Just back it up just a hair so we can watch that again.

01:57:35.000 back at the time, this is a giant deal because Stanley Ketchell was a white guy, and they were like, finally, we got our black guy down on the ground, and it wasn't even a big white guy that did it.

01:57:48.000 You know, and everybody wanted Jack Dempsey to come back.

01:57:51.000 They were still in denial at the point that, like, black people were...

01:58:00.000 No, I think Jack Dempsey actually was after this.

01:58:02.000 Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm wrong.

01:58:04.000 They wanted Jim Jeffries, I think.

01:58:07.000 Who the fuck was it that they won?

01:58:07.000 No.

01:58:12.000 Man, my boxing history is terrible.

01:58:14.000 Dude, after he got knocked down, it was almost like he was like, oh, fuck this.

01:58:17.000 And he just went crazy and just took him out.

01:58:19.000 It looked like he was going down before he got hit.

01:58:21.000 That was weird.

01:58:22.000 It might have been that he got caught with his legs tied up.

01:58:22.000 Show that again.

01:58:26.000 Step on the foot.

01:58:26.000 Watch this.

01:58:28.000 Nope.

01:58:28.000 Hmm.

01:58:29.000 One more time.

01:58:29.000 One more time, please.

01:58:31.000 Step forward.

01:58:31.000 Watch this.

01:58:33.000 Yeah, he was almost like going down because he knew the power of the punch.

01:58:40.000 He definitely got clipped, though, as well as also ducking his head and got clipped on the way down.

01:58:46.000 But he was ducking way down where he might have fallen down or at least fallen off balance, even if he didn't get hit.

01:58:52.000 But who's the main dude that he went back and forth with?

01:58:56.000 Go to the web, to his Wikipedia.

01:58:58.000 Is it James Jeffries?

01:59:00.000 I think it is James Jeffries.

01:59:01.000 Yeah.

01:59:04.000 But at the time when this was going on, to have a black heavyweight champion, I mean, I don't think we can even fathom the level of racism this guy experienced.

01:59:16.000 Unreal.

01:59:17.000 I mean, literally every day worrying for his life.

01:59:21.000 Meanwhile, throwing hot dick at white chicks. 0.97

01:59:25.000 But it's almost like the Genghis Khan thing, where it's like that environment of just darkness made him such a fucking diamond.

01:59:32.000 Yeah, and he still lived 20 years older than Ralph Yumae.

01:59:36.000 That's a bummer, man.

01:59:38.000 That was a good dude.

01:59:38.000 He was a good dude.

01:59:39.000 But I mean, think about the life of a person that lived back then.

01:59:42.000 He made it to 68 and died in a car crash because he was mad that a waitress wouldn't serve him.

01:59:48.000 That's a good way to go out, though.

01:59:50.000 It's not the worst way.

01:59:50.000 I guess.

01:59:52.000 It's better than being hung by some racist.

01:59:52.000 It's quick.

01:59:54.000 For sure.

01:59:56.000 Dude, being hung would suck.

01:59:58.000 That sucks.

01:59:59.000 If you're going to be executed, what do you pick?

02:00:01.000 Are we really doing this, guys?

02:00:02.000 You want to talk to them?

02:00:04.000 Try to do bits.

02:00:04.000 Guys, come on.

02:00:06.000 The guy who hangs people.

02:00:09.000 What's the worst?

02:00:10.000 No, how would you want to go out?

02:00:11.000 Let's say you're setting up.

02:00:13.000 Bullets are pretty quick.

02:00:14.000 You want it quick?

02:00:15.000 Bullets are quick.

02:00:16.000 I'd go bullets for sure.

02:00:17.000 I used to say lethal injection, but that shit's all bullets if someone knows what they're doing.

02:00:23.000 You get someone to shoot you that actually knows how to shoot people.

02:00:26.000 What if you just get hit in the dick and then you're just saying?

02:00:28.000 That's a bad way to end, like that catcher.

02:00:31.000 Yeah.

02:00:31.000 Just get hit right in the dick, like the head of the dick, not even like the ball.

02:00:34.000 It's just no more dick.

02:00:36.000 How long is it going to be before if you got shot in the foot and your foot blows off, they could take you to a lab and they grow you a new foot?

02:00:43.000 I think it's soon.

02:00:44.000 I feel like it's soon.

02:00:46.000 I feel like it's within 20 years.

02:00:48.000 I feel like within 20 years, they're going to be like if you, if your hand got mashed in some sort of a vice, they're going to be able to give you a new hand.

02:00:55.000 I think it might even be sooner.

02:00:56.000 It might be.

02:00:57.000 But I'm giving it 20 years, so I look smart when it comes true.

02:01:00.000 Yeah, like you called it.

02:01:01.000 You're like, yeah, yeah.

02:01:03.000 I feel like in 20 years, like, yeah, you called it.

02:01:07.000 I'm all about brains, where it's like, I just don't want to go crazy.

02:01:10.000 Yeah.

02:01:11.000 Well, not only that, we want to be able to repair people that have been injured, like car accidents.

02:01:16.000 Yeah.

02:01:17.000 Do you know the story of Sam Kinnison?

02:01:19.000 Yeah.

02:01:20.000 About how, yeah, go tell the story though.

02:01:22.000 But he was one way as a child, and then his mom says that he got hit by a car.

02:01:26.000 And then after that, he was wild, just crazy.

02:01:29.000 I mean, he really got hit, like to the point of, you know, they were worried he was going to live.

02:01:34.000 He survived, and he became a fucking maniac.

02:01:36.000 And that's what I was talking about, you with Tomatoes.

02:01:39.000 He got on Twitter and just lost his representation?

02:01:42.000 No, but I think that I think that about myself a lot of times because I got hit in the head a lot when I was young.

02:01:48.000 And I'm like, well, how much did that affect me?

02:01:50.000 How much did affect my rational thinking?

02:01:53.000 How much did it affect my ability to control my impulses?

02:01:56.000 You know, like I was on a flight once with Michael Irvin.

02:02:00.000 And Michael Irvin, who's a really good guy, was talking to me about kids who grow up in terrible environments.

02:02:08.000 And that these kids, if they're in the womb, the womb, and their mother is experiencing violence or stress or domestic violence or, you know, she sees crazy shit, that those impulses go through her body and they directly affect the way the fetus develops.

02:02:25.000 And the children who grow up with violence around them, like literally they're conceived and they develop inside the womb of a mother who's experiencing all that, they have a higher propensity for violence, a shorter fuse.

02:02:38.000 They're more worried about things going badly and more intense, more quick to pull the trigger.

02:02:44.000 And that all that is a direct response, like a biological support system, like your body's trying to keep you alive.

02:02:52.000 And that the more you encounter, that sort of reinforces like the more times you get hit, the more times things hit you, the more times you get hurt, the more times you crash heads as a football player, or you get punched in the face as a boxer, the more times a tomato hits your fucking dome at 90 miles an hour by some kid who thinks it's funny.

02:03:12.000 But whatever it is, like whatever things that are rattling your skull, those things reinforce your brain's idea that violence can come at any moment and you have to be prepared.

02:03:23.000 And that's that quick trigger.

02:03:25.000 It keeps you alive.

02:03:26.000 It's the scorpion and the frog shit.

02:03:28.000 It's like your nature keeps you alive.

02:03:30.000 And that quick trigger, I think, translates to various aspects of your life.

02:03:34.000 Not just to things where there's a real situation you have to deal with.

02:03:37.000 Like, you know, you have to be able to react quickly because your body's programmed to be, oh, I get hit a lot.

02:03:42.000 I'm ready when things come to me.

02:03:43.000 I'm going to fucking fight them off.

02:03:44.000 I'm going to fight them off.

02:03:45.000 I'm ready.

02:03:46.000 Or somebody talks some shit on Twitter.

02:03:48.000 Oh, I'm going to say some crappy shit to you.

02:03:50.000 Fuck you, piece of shit. 1.00

02:03:51.000 I'm going to say something that's going to, I'm going to Call myself a white nigger.

02:03:53.000 I'm ready.

02:03:56.000 And you're like, boom, boom.

02:03:57.000 I said it first.

02:03:58.000 Yo, you dropped some crazy verbal nuclear weapon on people.

02:04:01.000 It's like I knew a lot of girls that were like sexually abusive kids as kids that became promiscuous because they're like, I'm going to fuck you before you fuck me. 1.00

02:04:10.000 Whoa.

02:04:10.000 You know what I mean?

02:04:11.000 Like, that's common.

02:04:12.000 Well, there is that, but I think there's also something that happens to people that were sexually abused as kids where they become hypersexual as they get older for sure.

02:04:20.000 It's not good.

02:04:22.000 I mean, we're not looking at this in a positive way, but I think it goes back to what we were talking about when it comes to throughout history, human beings molesting children, that it was insanely common.

02:04:35.000 And it probably wasn't until like what year did people realize that's a horrible thing to do?

02:04:41.000 Was it like the 1800s?

02:04:42.000 It was just one dude's like, this is crazy.

02:04:45.000 Because dude, they did the same thing with violence, though.

02:04:47.000 Like, infantry comes from infant.

02:04:49.000 Like, they would send the infantry was always like 12-year-olds.

02:04:53.000 What?

02:04:54.000 Infantry comes from infantry?

02:04:55.000 Yeah, really?

02:04:55.000 Infant.

02:04:56.000 It's for cannon fodder, man.

02:04:57.000 They used to just send out the kids to get fucked up.

02:05:00.000 Really?

02:05:01.000 Yeah.

02:05:01.000 Like, right now in Africa, a lot of these, like, little militias, like the kids is when you get the sociopaths.

02:05:06.000 Because if you don't raise them right, they'll fucking kill anybody.

02:05:10.000 God damn.

02:05:11.000 Oh, dude, it makes me so...

02:05:17.000 And so it had a real bad situation with riddled.

02:05:21.000 Because we had a Monsignor that was messed up.

02:05:24.000 It's long, dead shit, so it doesn't matter.

02:05:26.000 But, like, he would bring in other ones, and, like, then they would just...

02:05:31.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:05:33.000 What do you think they said?

02:05:35.000 Okay, I can't even imagine.

02:05:36.000 It just lays there.

02:05:37.000 I bet it was some kind of code and shit.

02:05:39.000 This kid pushes back.

02:05:40.000 Dude, it was always, and I never think they talk like girls, like guys talk about girls. 1.00

02:05:45.000 Like if guys talk about girls, like, you know, this girl is, she loves Coke and she's down to fuck. 1.00

02:05:50.000 Like, do you think they literally talked about abusing kids the same way a man would talk about, or a woman even would talk about hooking up with a guy?

02:05:57.000 Oh, God, he's got a big dick.

02:05:58.000 It's going to be awesome.

02:05:59.000 Do you think they talked about it in an openly sexual way?

02:06:01.000 I can't, I don't, I don't even know.

02:06:04.000 Fuck.

02:06:04.000 Like, it's just like, is there some, did they use that code?

02:06:08.000 But it, like, it crippled.

02:06:09.000 My town is full of, like, there's some weird shit going on there with that.

02:06:12.000 Like, not the town I live in now, but the other, like, where I'm from.

02:06:15.000 Great people.

02:06:16.000 Love where I'm from.

02:06:17.000 A lot of pride where I'm from.

02:06:18.000 Great town.

02:06:19.000 But, like, there's some shit going down.

02:06:21.000 You know what I mean?

02:06:21.000 Isn't that crazy that you could be in this great area and just one element makes the whole thing chaos?

02:06:28.000 It just rots.

02:06:28.000 And everybody accepts that element because in some perverted way, you really think all that kid fucking is connected to God.

02:06:36.000 Dude, and it always was the kid with no dad and shit.

02:06:39.000 That's why I'm fucking, I have this hyper, like, like you were talking about that response shit.

02:06:44.000 That's mine where I'm like, if you going after vulnerable people makes me insane.

02:06:49.000 Well, that was the Sandusky thing, right?

02:06:51.000 Like he would always go after kids that didn't have a family and he would help them and he created all these organizations, this organization rather, to, you know, like a charity organization to help these young kids.

02:07:04.000 And he's just.

02:07:05.000 Dude, and that's why it's like, I get furious about the people that misrepresent themselves a lot more than the, like there's all these scandals in Hollywood now.

02:07:13.000 And, you know, the spacies and the wine scenes of the world are so much more dark and evil than like, you know, there was that scandal with Andy Dick, and I like Andy Dick.

02:07:22.000 I'm like, the dude's an obvious dick rabber, and he feels bad about it, and he fucking just wants to get punched. 1.00

02:07:27.000 When they asked him, what did he say?

02:07:29.000 What was his initial, what was his initial comment?

02:07:32.000 It was something like.

02:07:33.000 Like, kissing and licking is what he does.

02:07:35.000 He's been doing it for something like that.

02:07:36.000 No, misbehavior is his middle name.

02:07:41.000 Oh, yeah, misconduct is my middle name.

02:07:42.000 Misconduct.

02:07:44.000 Yeah.

02:07:45.000 Yeah.

02:07:45.000 That, you know, they were upset.

02:07:47.000 They fired him from an indie film because of sexual misconduct.

02:07:51.000 By the way, I hate to be cynical because I don't want to say that anybody wasn't victimized.

02:07:58.000 But if I was running an indie film that was so fucking stupid, I hired Andy Dick, I might be the type of guy that would make a statement about Andy being Andy.

02:08:08.000 Right.

02:08:08.000 And just like, we're going to put our foot down.

02:08:10.000 Enough.

02:08:11.000 Capital E, capital N, U, F, F, enough.

02:08:15.000 And then, hey, if you want to see this film, it's going to be appearing at the Sunset Plaza and blah, blah, blah.

02:08:19.000 It's a good move.

02:08:20.000 It at least gets people talking about something that they would never have talked about because Andy Dick hops into the river of speculation as to who's a molester.

02:08:29.000 Yeah, but like for me, he's so much less, like, he's just, he's not a snake.

02:08:34.000 Yeah, it's not like the snake in the grass where you're like, oh, that guy's misrepresenting himself, Don.

02:08:38.000 Dick Cosby.

02:08:39.000 Exactly.

02:08:40.000 It's a dude who's like, oh, I grabbed a dick and got knocked out.

02:08:43.000 Yeah.

02:08:43.000 You know, he's just like a dick grabbed.

02:08:45.000 He's a big person's dick.

02:08:46.000 Whoops.

02:08:46.000 Yeah, he tried to grab my dick.

02:08:48.000 I knocked him down, and then he apologized, and I was like, you're all good, man.

02:08:52.000 I know that you're just freaked out.

02:08:53.000 You get excited about weens, man. 0.95

02:08:55.000 And Rita was like, oh, thanks for not really fucking up Annie Dick. 1.00

02:08:58.000 And I'm like, he's vulnerable.

02:08:59.000 It's about vulnerability, dude.

02:09:01.000 It's like some people are just these vulnerable people.

02:09:04.000 And like, I'm a giant.

02:09:06.000 Like, he's not trying to, it's not about power.

02:09:08.000 He just blacks out and grabs wieners. 0.58

02:09:11.000 But he's also like, in a different way than you, he's a perpetual button pusher.

02:09:17.000 But it's not necessarily like the worst thing in the world to be that button pusher, but that is what he is.

02:09:22.000 Yeah.

02:09:23.000 It's like he's not as competent with it as you.

02:09:28.000 He doesn't navigate the waters.

02:09:30.000 Yeah, I'm not grabbing dicks.

02:09:31.000 Andy's button, like, you know, there's hills and valleys to like your interactions with people.

02:09:36.000 And like there's certain hills where you just get way too crazy with it.

02:09:40.000 Yeah.

02:09:40.000 And then you bring it down and then you try to figure out what's a good middle ground.

02:09:44.000 Andy just, it's all spikes.

02:09:46.000 It's all like, ah, bam.

02:09:48.000 He owns it.

02:09:49.000 He owns it.

02:09:50.000 Yeah, I get the ground.

02:09:51.000 And that's when I have a hard time judging people.

02:09:53.000 Like, the person I've always been is trying to not be judgmental.

02:09:57.000 It's the snakes that I'm like, oh, you're telling everyone about global warming in your private jet.

02:10:02.000 Like, you can go fuck yourself.

02:10:04.000 You know, and it's like, it's the same with like Andy.

02:10:06.000 I'm like, Andy has never acted like not a train rack dick grabber.

02:10:10.000 And like when my friend died, the dude wrote me a fucking sweet email.

02:10:14.000 Like he's a sweet man.

02:10:15.000 He just blacks out, tries to grab wieners, gets sober, no more wiener grabs. 0.92

02:10:19.000 And so when I see him getting pulled through the muck, I'm like, you can't associate him with these like power fucked up guys that are like, you want to part?

02:10:28.000 Watch me whack off on a ficus.

02:10:30.000 But here's the thing, like the you want to part guy.

02:10:32.000 Does that guy ever make it back?

02:10:34.000 No, because no one's rooting for him anyway.

02:10:37.000 You know, it's not like Iron Man.

02:10:39.000 It's like, yeah, that dude used to do a lot of fucking drugs, but we're still rooting for him because he's vulnerable.

02:10:43.000 Right.

02:10:43.000 You know, it's like no one's whack.

02:10:45.000 No one relates to the guy whacking off on a fucking plant in front of Gwyneth Paltrow.

02:10:48.000 You're like, bro, you're out, man.

02:10:51.000 You're out of the tribe.

02:10:52.000 Like, that's why the dude that you just interviewed, Kilstein or whatever, like, he has a way in.

02:10:57.000 He has a way back in because everyone relates to reward.

02:11:02.000 He's not, like, actually raping people.

02:11:04.000 He just got mixed up in likes on Twitter and shit.

02:11:07.000 But this is the idea that I want to explore because I think it's fascinating.

02:11:09.000 Is there like a point where a guy fucks up too many times?

02:11:13.000 Like, say if Harvey Weinstein jerked off into one plant one time.

02:11:18.000 He was on Coke.

02:11:19.000 He got crazy and he's hanging out with some woman.

02:11:23.000 She's like one of the naked vampires in Dust Till Dawn, but she doesn't get to talk. 0.85

02:11:29.000 She's got the snake on her neck. 1.00

02:11:31.000 And she's so hot, and he's so fat and so gross.

02:11:34.000 And he's so coked up and so drunk.

02:11:36.000 And he also has a billion dollars in the bag.

02:11:38.000 And he starts singing, I can put you in a fucking movie.

02:11:40.000 I can put you in a fucking shop. 0.93

02:11:42.000 I give him benefit of the doubt.

02:11:43.000 I'm like, that guy loves photosynthesis.

02:11:45.000 He loves it.

02:11:47.000 Photosynthesis.

02:11:48.000 He's whacking on a plant.

02:11:49.000 He's like, yeah, you take fucking carbon, you make it short.

02:11:51.000 You know what photosynthesis is?

02:11:53.000 That's convecting, changing sunlight into food, right?

02:11:57.000 I thought we were talking about whacking on a plant.

02:11:59.000 But that's not photosynthesis.

02:12:00.000 Isn't a plant making shit? 0.86

02:12:01.000 Yeah, but photosynthesis is like the specific process of a plant converting sunlight into energy.

02:12:09.000 No impulse control.

02:12:10.000 I have no impulse control job.

02:12:11.000 Let's find out what that is because I could easily be wrong.

02:12:14.000 But I thought that photosynthesis meant converting sunlight.

02:12:16.000 Turning light.

02:12:17.000 Yeah, that's sugar, right?

02:12:18.000 So it's not come.

02:12:20.000 No, see, he's like, so turns out.

02:12:22.000 It's a fertilizer, bro.

02:12:23.000 Like, he's like, look at you making sugar out of sunlight.

02:12:25.000 Oh, I get it.

02:12:26.000 Oh, I get it.

02:12:27.000 So he got excited by the photosynthesis.

02:12:30.000 See, that's the thing is now people are starting to treat me like I'm this like moral high ground guy and I don't want wait hold on who's doing that because of the fucking standing up for three-year-olds and I'm like dude I wouldn't judge one plant whack I'm not there's a difference between the you know like transgender three-year-olds and some coked up studio executive of course and here's the thing like I don't want to excuse anybody's behavior that's done anything that victimizes other people but it is a fascinating aspect of Hollywood culture that forever if you wanted to get apart you had to go to the casting

02:13:00.000 couch and everybody knew it and there was a lot of those guys that had disproportionate relationships like they were disgusting right he's disgusting and his wife is fucking smoking you ever seen harvey's wife no she's smoking and you know no need to bring her into this at all but i'm just explaining like this is a consistently disproportionate relationship that exists throughout hollywood like there's the guy who is insanely wealthy but physically vile and

02:13:30.000 he somehow or another managed to dunk his dick into tens before he coaxed himself into an early grave right that is a fucking common common common theme yeah and i'm not judging the that guy who's just getting tens when he's a two that's the american dream how do you do it though exactly it's about hating women it's about it is about hating right but this is my point it's like you do not get to dunk your dick in tens unless you do all the things that that guy did he produced shakespeare and

02:13:59.000 love that's a dick dunk i'm not i'm not excusing him i'm not exonerating him and i'm saying like women do not naturally feel attracted to obese guys with bad skin it isn't this is not a common thing right like in order for him to force the outcome that he desires he has to cross cultural and appropriate boundaries you know like this is just like we're dealing with like mathematics right we're literally and i'm not exonerating him again i can't believe i have to say this but i don't want anybody taking this out of context if

02:14:29.000 you were dealing with this as a system as a biological system like say if you're looking at it from afar and you had no connection to culture no connection to civilization you'd be like well what is this how is this system working like how is this one like extremely flawed biological entity oozing its way into these perfect shapes like it finds a way to penetrate these perfect shapes with thin waist and perfect asses and beautiful faces and his face is just this pile of

02:14:58.000 slovenness and just disgust and just growing hair on top of it and a little fat dick and just shoots incompetent sperm into the mouths of tens like what what what is happening here what is happening here well what's happening here is there's no way he would have been able to do it any other way it's like so like he's not thor right he's not uh he's not some fucking ryan reynolds type character with perfect cheekbones he's just like and he's just feeding that bat 0.94

02:15:28.000 with coke and fucking booze and blowjobs and and constantly trying to put out more things that allow him to buy the biggest fucking house the highest hills and yes i mean this is literally the only way he can do that the only way he can do that is to be disgusting like girls aren't just gonna line up i loved i loved your movies and i'm just like do it to me what you want you'll get one out of a million that do that but that's not enough like they have to they would have to find him through the

02:15:58.000 crowd that's not gonna work it's not gonna work it's almost like that crazy mindset and again not exonerating not not excusing but that mindset of like look what is the mindset of someone who wants to run the fastest race what is the mindset of someone who wants to makes the fastest jet bike zero to 100 time when you're fucking hanging on to these handlebars what is the mindset of that i don't know but it seems to be some sort of bizarre

02:16:28.000 quasi competitive biological environment where people are chasing some strange unattainable highest ground right yeah it almost comes from like a slight flaw like the sand makes the pearl right like how like comedians are a like a little flawed like sure somebody commented and i i like they were talking shit but i was like you're so right they go dude owen is the tallest dude with the napoleon complex i've ever seen and i was like you're fucking right man it's like ambition comes from this weird like feeling

02:16:58.000 of threat where you're like at any moment i like i got gotta try i gotta work really hard i was trying to work on this bit but it just never went anywhere about like um civilizations based on cock size, where you got the Japanese and the English take over the whole world because their chick is like, we need more, you know, your dick no good. 0.85

02:17:16.000 And then like sub-Saharan Africans have these monster hammers and their chick's like, you're not taking over shit. 1.00

02:17:21.000 You got that big old cock. 1.00

02:17:22.000 And they just stay put.

02:17:23.000 Exactly.

02:17:23.000 Where it's almost like ambition sometimes can come from insecurity, which I am riddled with and a lot of ambitious people are.

02:17:29.000 Totally.

02:17:30.000 Which is the point that I was making is like, you have to be disgusting to want to chase down tail to the point where you're willing to rape at that level. 0.84

02:17:38.000 And it's like, and I think like that guy gets a billion dollars and he realizes his chicks still don't want to fuck him and he spirals.

02:17:38.000 Right.

02:17:44.000 Well, I don't think it matters.

02:17:45.000 I think he's constantly caught up in the pursuit of doing it.

02:17:49.000 You know, and I think probably it was like super exciting to get the young starlet who like didn't know any better, didn't didn't, you know, wasn't really 100% sure she was going to make it in Hollywood.

02:17:58.000 Yeah.

02:17:58.000 And having that threat of like controlling her career over her like a giant vampire.

02:18:06.000 And then that was the horrific nature of it for those women.

02:18:09.000 That's what's getting people particularly angry about this.

02:18:12.000 Not that he was a fat gross guy trying to get laid.

02:18:14.000 Like we've seen those throughout the throughout human history.

02:18:18.000 There's always been people trying to get laid, but is that he was doing it in a way that was victimizing.

02:18:22.000 Exactly.

02:18:23.000 Causing psychic scars.

02:18:27.000 Brett Ratner, same stuff today.

02:18:28.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:18:29.000 Well, now it's just getting crazy.

02:18:30.000 It's just like, it's going to be like Kermit the Frog.

02:18:32.000 It's out of control.

02:18:33.000 It's out of control.

02:18:34.000 But it's like, I'm the opposite.

02:18:36.000 I need like a ton of consent.

02:18:37.000 Like, I'm like, it's like, oh, I like your dick.

02:18:39.000 It's like, but you don't love the dick.

02:18:41.000 Have you ever seen people, like, there's been people that have said that you should have a consent form and you should videotape the signing of the consent form?

02:18:49.000 I was watching this YouTube thing where this guy was like talking about consent forms and like that you should get people to sign a consent form.

02:18:55.000 And I'm like, what?

02:18:56.000 Well, Michael Jordan does that shit.

02:18:57.000 I think if you're like a billionaire, maybe, but like, that's fucked up.

02:19:00.000 That takes away the whole thing.

02:19:02.000 Well, it's definitely a different thing.

02:19:04.000 It's like, what?

02:19:05.000 A consent form.

02:19:06.000 It's like a merger and an acquisition.

02:19:07.000 It's like two companies like your dick, like Dick Inc.

02:19:10.000 and Pussy Corp. 1.00

02:19:11.000 You know, it's like, are you cool with this?

02:19:13.000 You got to sign that shit.

02:19:15.000 Well, I mean, you're seeing things where people didn't feel cool about it many years later.

02:19:20.000 But in the moment, maybe they just let it happen and they decide that that letting it happen was way worse than they were thinking about it at the time and then decide it's some sort of a sexual assault and then it spirals onward and outwards like you know we it would be really nice if people were just attracted to each other I know but like it's like sometimes I get pissed at some of these people though when they're like talking about like eye contact being some shit like I had a friend like this is this is dark but

02:19:50.000 uh there was uh you know she was kidnapped and like gang raped and nothing yeah dude it's and uh like there's so many false or like stupid accusations that like it clogs up the system to the point where i'm like you know i want to just kill these people you know and like uh dude the wolf is getting in me the wolf well that is the booze bourbon yeah i'm talking about how i want to kill yeah yeah standard on this podcast comes up once every couple weeks but

02:20:18.000 uh yeah it made me really uh fear infrastructure like where i'm like oh the cops come with a pencil it's not that csi shit and it's like there's p there's people out there that legitimately hurt women and i i want them to die you know and it's like you know there's a nine month wait on like a rape kit because fucking some chick regretted some shit when she was like texting and coming over with condoms you know i'm like we got to start triaging some of this shit you know well you gotta we 0.95

02:20:45.000 have to be very very strict on both sides of what we tolerate you know and we we cannot tolerate real rape but we also cannot tolerate false accusations 100 we cannot tolerate indulgences where people have distorted perceptions of reality and they paint what they know somewhere at least subconsciously to be some very inaccurate interpretation of the events of course and we also can't can we we

02:21:15.000 can't condone the cosby type shit that went on for years we can't condone rape we can't condone people who drug people or abuse people we can't condone that shit we can't condone either one of those things but i think more importantly is there's something going on right now where there's a hypercharged environment where people are terrified of being called out and people are like waiting like looking around like what's gonna happen next and then people are thinking about some shit that happened to him a long time ago well you know what this

02:21:45.000 has been fucking sitting in my craw for 18 years yeah dustin hoffman it's time the world knows yeah and i don't like hard-boiled eggs dustin i don't know what's true and i don't know what's not true i do not know i i cannot comment and no one can but it's this there's something that's going on where this i would hope and i this is what i always hope i always hope that any wave that goes this way eventually goes that way and i hope that any outrage leads to more understanding yeah man 0.90

02:22:14.000 all of this stuff and all this especially this fucking rape shit that i feel like there's more rape talk today and more understanding of how many girls get approached or fucked with or harassed or even actually raped or drugged yeah than we ever thought before that i'm hoping this conversation leads to more understanding early on in people's lives before they form this idea of what is and isn't acceptable yeah because that's a good thing from it is is making people

02:22:44.000 be like you can't treat women this way especially if young kids hear it early for sure hear it when you're young so that you don't ever grow up in some sort of an environment where the people around you tell you it's okay and that it's us versus them and fuck those bitches the worst these hoes yeah there's a lot of people grow up with that i know and it's like you want to be so good that women want to fuck you that's what makes civilization grow it's the it's the move dude you know what i can play beethoven by ear you think it wasn't for someone to think i had a great penis no i'm just kidding i started when 0.98

02:23:14.000 i was three i didn't know what i was doing you did you somehow knew that you were a male you somehow identified as a piano player i always say be the man that you pretend to be when you're trying to get laid that's awesome just be that guy well we can all do that.

02:23:27.000 And by the way, if you weren't that guy two weeks ago and someone keeps like sticking your face, it doesn't mean you're not that guy now.

02:23:34.000 All right.

02:23:34.000 Relax.

02:23:35.000 Everybody relax with the finger pointing.

02:23:37.000 Like if some dude makes some sort of a terrible mistake and goes off the rails a month ago or whatever it is, it doesn't mean that he's not.

02:23:47.000 It's an ineffective process.

02:23:49.000 He's a trial and error process.

02:23:51.000 And you can't judge someone entirely by the errors.

02:23:54.000 Forgiveness and growth.

02:23:55.000 It's also like you got to judge the whole thing as a big picture.

02:24:01.000 You can't say, you know, in 2001, Arnold Schwarzenegger pulled out his dick in a sauna.

02:24:07.000 Yeah.

02:24:08.000 It's like he was jacked up.

02:24:09.000 He's trying to beat some people in weightlifting.

02:24:11.000 I was probably trying to psychologically intimidate someone, too.

02:24:14.000 Yeah, I made love to him.

02:24:15.000 Look at this.

02:24:15.000 You want to touch the dick where it all happened?

02:24:18.000 You think you can clean and press?

02:24:20.000 You think you can even fit this in your mouth?

02:24:22.000 You're less of a man than that woman is a woman. 1.00

02:24:26.000 And another thing is we can't keep calling men like toxic because men, good men, keep these fucking shitty rapist men beaten down.

02:24:36.000 Somebody put this on a fucking poll the other day and they sent it to me.

02:24:39.000 Somebody put, they saw a photo of it or they saw an image of it and they sent it to me, whether they took it themselves.

02:24:45.000 It said, eliminate masculinity. 0.98

02:24:49.000 Listen, when the Vikings come.

02:24:53.000 And dude, you're going to need men. 0.99

02:24:55.000 And the most masculine guys I know are the least likely to fucking rape anybody.

02:24:59.000 They're the ones that defend women. 1.00

02:25:01.000 Yes.

02:25:01.000 Well, there's a few.

02:25:02.000 That's what women are attracted to. 1.00

02:25:03.000 Yeah, there's some questions.

02:25:05.000 There's some dark line.

02:25:06.000 And you know what?

02:25:07.000 Here's the thing about a lot of those dark people. 1.00

02:25:09.000 I don't mean dark like color.

02:25:11.000 You meant pigment, John.

02:25:12.000 I didn't.

02:25:14.000 The dark mindset, the predatory rapist mindset.

02:25:19.000 There's a ton of those people that come directly from trauma.

02:25:23.000 They come from being violated themselves.

02:25:26.000 They come from being in bad situations.

02:25:28.000 They come from being programmed incorrectly.

02:25:30.000 And again, I'm not exonerating them.

02:25:33.000 I'm not excusing them.

02:25:34.000 I'm just thinking that it would do us all a world of good if we could look at these people from afar.

02:25:39.000 I didn't experience that.

02:25:41.000 I didn't grow up in a family filled with crime.

02:25:43.000 I didn't grow up in a family filled with violence and murder.

02:25:46.000 And I did in a neighborhood filled with people robbing people left and right.

02:25:49.000 I didn't grow up with that.

02:25:50.000 So my looking at it as a complete third-party outsider.

02:25:55.000 But I'm thinking, I try to pretend to imagine what it was like to grow up in Watts in the 1960s.

02:26:03.000 Try to pretend what it was like to be in Compton in the 90s.

02:26:06.000 Try to pretend.

02:26:07.000 Well, this one I think transcends that is still cruelty.

02:26:10.000 Because like, I'll hang with legit gang members and feel safe.

02:26:13.000 When do you hang in with gang members?

02:26:14.000 Well, I'll do like Cleveland Improv.

02:26:16.000 And then like afterwards, I'm smoking blunts with like dudes that, you know, Cleveland Improv has gang members waiting for me.

02:26:22.000 You know, there's some fucking people, man.

02:26:24.000 It's like, you know, someone's wearing a bull's hat in the city without red or like someone's got teardrop tattoos.

02:26:30.000 And like, I don't feel scared because I don't, like, if they have a body count, it's because of threats and business.

02:26:37.000 It's not like cruelty.

02:26:38.000 And I think that there's, even in like fucked up environments, you still have the cruel man and the good man, even if they like do things that you don't agree with in your social economic area.

02:26:49.000 Well, that's the hero's journey, right?

02:26:51.000 The strong person that's kind enough to take care of the people that are weak.

02:26:55.000 That's what everybody wants, right?

02:26:57.000 Someone who is a strong person that looks out for the weak person, which is why everybody, like the term bully, which I think gets overused.

02:27:05.000 Like sometimes bullying gets used when people are equals and when someone's critiquing someone.

02:27:09.000 Oh, you're a bully.

02:27:10.000 Like, oh, no, no, no, no.

02:27:11.000 Listen, I just think that's stupid.

02:27:13.000 That doesn't make me a bully.

02:27:15.000 You're using it wrong.

02:27:16.000 We're not talking about children.

02:27:18.000 We're not talking about people that are physically weaker than me.

02:27:20.000 Like, let's be clear about what the fuck we mean when we say this very polarizing word.

02:27:25.000 But that word is polarizing because we absolutely don't want to be the person that's in the position of physical, moral, ethical, economic, whatever it is, superiority, who has influence over the other person's life and steps in and fucks with it.

02:27:41.000 That's what a bully is.

02:27:42.000 Because people respond okay with passion.

02:27:44.000 Like you can be like, fuck these people.

02:27:45.000 And people are like, okay, even if you're a little off the mark, you're not trying to hurt people to make yourself feel better for your own inadequacies.

02:27:53.000 That's what's evil.

02:27:54.000 Or if you are, you need to understand that that's what you're doing.

02:27:56.000 Right, because we're all evil.

02:27:57.000 We're all evil and good.

02:27:58.000 Just make the move.

02:28:00.000 But also just to have someone point it out makes you go, am I?

02:28:03.000 Like, and think about it.

02:28:05.000 You're not necessarily your words and your actions.

02:28:09.000 What you are is how you've dealt with your past words and actions and made corrections.

02:28:15.000 I mean, that's really what you are.

02:28:17.000 I mean, and that's what's really important.

02:28:19.000 Because if we don't give people that leeway, they don't ever learn from their mistakes.

02:28:23.000 If they don't ever learn from their mistakes, then we're essentially committing to a future with no one learning anything.

02:28:32.000 Right.

02:28:33.000 Yeah.

02:28:34.000 It's like I gave Dave Smith and Stephen Crowder both this compliment.

02:28:38.000 It's like, because even if you disagree with someone, the thing I love about people is like, if you make a good point, they look excited and happy versus threatened.

02:28:46.000 And I'm like, even if you're not on the path that I'm on, you're still trying to like carve your fucking sculpture to look beautiful and not a threatening posture.

02:28:55.000 Yeah, and that has nothing to do with the left or the right.

02:28:57.000 I mean, it's really just how you approach information.

02:28:59.000 Yeah, 100%.

02:29:00.000 Yeah, because I think a lot of times people from the right do not want to accept good ideas from the left and vice versa.

02:29:07.000 I think that's just a real issue that people have.

02:29:10.000 And that's a weakness, too.

02:29:11.000 It is a weakness.

02:29:12.000 And I've experienced it from my own mind, and I'm sure you have from yours.

02:29:17.000 Bro, you've seen my Twitter.

02:29:18.000 Everybody has.

02:29:20.000 But it's important that we realize, like, what is that reaction that we had?

02:29:24.000 And how do we mitigate the negative aspects of it?

02:29:27.000 And how do we figure out how we got to that point where we said something maybe we didn't believe?

02:29:31.000 Or we reacted to something in a way where if given time to reconsider the potential of going this way with it or that way with it, we'd probably come up with a better idea.

02:29:42.000 Yeah, and a cool thing you do for men, especially men, because I can speak on behalf of men because I identify with a wiener in Boston.

02:29:47.000 It's like you make people think about their actions, where it's like...

02:29:47.000 Thank you.

02:29:53.000 That's what you think about yours too, which is why we gravitate to each other.

02:29:56.000 100%.

02:29:56.000 Where it's like, Is this productive for me, my family, society?

02:30:02.000 Like, what exactly am I doing right now?

02:30:04.000 And it's like, and with my recent shit, like, some people are like, Oh, how does your wife feel about your spiral?

02:30:09.000 I'm like, I'm like, She's never wanted to me more, dude.

02:30:13.000 Your Twitter numbers keep going up, dude.

02:30:15.000 I know, my where's the spiral?

02:30:16.000 I know, and I'm like, oh, I'm representing a group of people that they keep writing me emails like, thank you so much for not calling me just evil for my, like, what I, you know, my basic beliefs.

02:30:27.000 Because I'm not supporting racist, sexist, bigot, homophob, K, K, K, you know?

02:30:27.000 Yeah.

02:30:32.000 It's fucking crazy, dude.

02:30:34.000 And it's like, and I'm not going to fall in that trap either where I'm like, oh, I had a Jewish grandmother.

02:30:38.000 My wife's Hispanic. 1.00

02:30:39.000 My piano teacher's fucking trans. 0.98

02:30:40.000 It's like, no, my idea is strong and I don't need to justify it with my association with people that you fucking care.

02:30:46.000 You have justified it and with good reason.

02:30:50.000 Like, it really does.

02:30:51.000 It is a Trump card.

02:30:52.000 When you say, hey, look, my dad's probably gay.

02:30:54.000 Hey, look.

02:30:55.000 My dad wears outfits that are questionable, but he's a loving man.

02:30:58.000 Hey, look, my piano teacher used to be a dude.

02:31:01.000 A woman now used to be a dude. 1.00

02:31:02.000 A woman, now a dude. 0.73

02:31:02.000 He's a woman. 0.73

02:31:03.000 Yeah, I became wary.

02:31:04.000 Same thing.

02:31:05.000 It's all good.

02:31:06.000 It's all that.

02:31:08.000 My wife's Hispanic and not extra Spanish like Home Depot, Mexican. 0.97

02:31:12.000 So like anybody, but anybody that calls you a white supremacist, like, okay, I see what you're trying to do.

02:31:12.000 Yeah.

02:31:18.000 And it is so transparent that it minimizes everything you're ever going to say ever from this point on on this subject.

02:31:25.000 Because I always have to think, well, your intentions are disingenuous.

02:31:28.000 What you're trying to do is divert people from the actual reality.

02:31:32.000 So this Sean King guy, maybe he's a really good guy.

02:31:35.000 Or maybe he's just a white guy.

02:31:36.000 He's a dickhead.

02:31:37.000 Well, he's definitely a white guy.

02:31:40.000 And maybe he's a good guy.

02:31:41.000 He could be an albino-Nigerian.

02:31:42.000 I don't think he's that.

02:31:43.000 I don't think so either.

02:31:44.000 He looks just like his dad and his brother.

02:31:46.000 Maybe he's a really good guy.

02:31:46.000 Yeah, he does.

02:31:48.000 And this is just, he hangs out with the wrong people and has the wrong ideas in his head.

02:31:53.000 And he's followed the wrong operating system to an illogical perspective.

02:32:00.000 Where the only way to disagree with you is to call you a guy married to a Home Depot Mexican, a white supremacist.

02:32:08.000 It's okay.

02:32:09.000 I know you love your wife.

02:32:10.000 Yeah, she's a joke.

02:32:11.000 It's a joke.

02:32:11.000 Of course.

02:32:12.000 That's a joke.

02:32:13.000 She doesn't work at Home Depot.

02:32:14.000 She works at Lowe's.

02:32:16.000 Listen, I've known you for a long time.

02:32:17.000 You're the opposite of a racist.

02:32:19.000 You're just not.

02:32:20.000 Yeah, it's so fucked up.

02:32:21.000 Like, right now in 2017, it's like, if you're truly not, you sound almost racist because you're like, if I'm going to make fun of the whites, I'm making fun of everybody. 0.73

02:32:30.000 Well, not only that, like, if you stand up and say, hey, you can't just openly make fun of all white people, that's fucking racist too.

02:32:36.000 And if you do, I'm going to talk about, you know, your employment record.

02:32:39.000 Dude, I saw this lady's tweets, and I did not retweet it.

02:32:42.000 I thought about retweeting.

02:32:43.000 I'm like, I should fucking turn some fire on this bitch. 1.00

02:32:46.000 Just let me know.

02:32:46.000 Well, that's what I'm for.

02:32:48.000 I'll turn up the heat.

02:32:48.000 Oh, okay.

02:32:50.000 I don't want to be the guy whose DMs get discovered and finds out I've been secretly plotting against radical feminists.

02:32:55.000 But this lady wrote, she wrote, all white cisgendered, if you don't know what cisgendered is, it's not real.

02:33:03.000 But what it is is heterosexual men who are actually heterosexual.

02:33:07.000 Ta-da.

02:33:08.000 It's a way to marginalize normal people.

02:33:10.000 That's a normal McDonald joke.

02:33:11.000 She goes, all white cisgendered men are shit unless proven otherwise.

02:33:17.000 Okay, honey, you might be a cunt. 1.00

02:33:20.000 Cunt. 1.00

02:33:20.000 Right. 1.00

02:33:21.000 And I know you don't want to be a cunt, but you probably, like, I don't, maybe it's the geometry of your nasal passage to cheekbone to chin structure.

02:33:31.000 Maybe you got crooked teeth.

02:33:33.000 Maybe you're unathletic and guys don't want to fuck you. 1.00

02:33:36.000 Maybe you've dealt with all the wrong guy.

02:33:37.000 Maybe you have perfect genetics.

02:33:39.000 Maybe your brain is accelerated.

02:33:41.000 Maybe you look at me like I'm the stupid ape that I am.

02:33:44.000 I don't know what the answer is.

02:33:45.000 But you can't say that and have no repercussions for your action.

02:33:49.000 You can't say all white, straight men who identify as men are shit until proven otherwise.

02:33:57.000 Because that is crazy.

02:33:58.000 It's racist, sexual.

02:34:01.000 And it's stupid.

02:34:02.000 Because if that was the case, if we were all shit, there would be a goddamn rape festival in the streets of every major city all over the world. 1.00

02:34:11.000 If you really thought that we were all bad, let me tell you what all bad looks like.

02:34:16.000 All bad looks like the world filled with coked up Vikings just running through the street, mouth fucking everybody you've ever met. 0.99

02:34:24.000 That's what men can do.

02:34:27.000 And I'm not bragging, but that's what, if you're, if you, if you have lingerie on and you can close your eyes and walk through a football field in front of a large crowd, like one of them cheerleaders for like football, and no one just tackles you and starts fucking you in front of 50,000 people, that is because most people don't want that to happen.

02:34:51.000 Well, I'm convinced that's why they keep coming at like white American dudes because we're some of the most chill guys.

02:34:51.000 That's why.

02:34:57.000 Nah, but we've done some dumb.

02:34:59.000 No, there's some fucked up shit.

02:35:00.000 But they're coming at us for a reason.

02:35:02.000 And I don't say us.

02:35:02.000 No, they're coming at people.

02:35:03.000 We don't have a rape culture, though. 1.00

02:35:05.000 We see a rapist, we go, fuck that guy.

02:35:07.000 Well, there is a lot of rape. 1.00

02:35:09.000 But the problem is, until now, there wasn't enough of an ability to express what rape.

02:35:16.000 And on both sides, like some people calling things rape.

02:35:18.000 That's like, wait a minute, wait a minute.

02:35:19.000 You were both drunk and it was consensual.

02:35:22.000 It's rape. 1.00

02:35:22.000 That's how you ruin a dude's life too, a false rape. 1.00

02:35:24.000 And that's happened.

02:35:25.000 I had Thaddeus Russell on.

02:35:26.000 He was talking about the incident in Occidental College where a man and a woman, technically, they're both like over 18, they got drunk.

02:35:35.000 They decided to have sex.

02:35:36.000 The girl called the guy, text him, you have condoms, the whole deal. 1.00

02:35:39.000 They agreed to get together.

02:35:41.000 And after the fact, the girl's friends decided that it was sexual assault because she was intoxicated, not even taking into account.

02:35:50.000 They were both intoxicated.

02:35:52.000 And they both agreed.

02:35:53.000 And there was text messages back and forth.

02:35:57.000 Remorse does not equal rape.

02:35:59.000 Having a bad experience.

02:36:00.000 100% both for the guy and the girl.

02:36:04.000 I mean, it's just like people fuck up and they make mistakes.

02:36:07.000 So you got to figure out what is and what isn't.

02:36:10.000 And what Thaddeus was talking about was that the girl went back to school with no repercussions, but the boy was obviously.

02:36:16.000 His life's over, dude.

02:36:17.000 Yeah, dude.

02:36:17.000 Life is over.

02:36:18.000 Double cross.

02:36:19.000 They were two people who were attracted to each other, who were exchanging text messages, who were influenced by the ideals and the ideology of all the people around them.

02:36:30.000 Dude, and it's almost like how the media just hits Trump so hard that sometimes I'm like, back off so I can mock him a little.

02:36:39.000 Where it's like, cause I have that instinct of like, dude, I can't mock a guy everyone's fucking unfairly calling shit he's not.

02:36:46.000 But it's like, look at this guy who in Occidental College, I don't remember his name, but look at this kid and then compare him to Bill Cosby.

02:36:52.000 Dude, exactly.

02:36:53.000 Let us call out real snakes.

02:36:55.000 Let's call a real rapist, a real rapist, and call an 18-year-old kid who was drunk, or I don't know how old he is, maybe he's 20, and a 20-year-old girl who was drunk.

02:37:03.000 Call them kids.

02:37:04.000 Call them kids who it's not like this guy drugged her and duct taped her.

02:37:09.000 Let's look at what it really is.

02:37:11.000 Is it really just two kids that got intoxicated and had intercourse with each other?

02:37:16.000 And then one of them felt bad?

02:37:17.000 God damn, how many times do you feel bad about sex?

02:37:19.000 A lot.

02:37:20.000 Because it's almost like that thing about the leprechaun that he got caught.

02:37:26.000 The leprechaun girl.

02:37:27.000 It's like an old parable.

02:37:28.000 It's real short.

02:37:29.000 I'm not going to drag on a parable, but like a leprechaun got caught and he's like, yeah, I'll give you the treasure.

02:37:34.000 It's under the tree with the fucking ribbon on it.

02:37:36.000 So he put the ribbon on all the trees.

02:37:38.000 So now the ribbon doesn't mean shit.

02:37:40.000 So if everything's rape, rape isn't rape. 1.00

02:37:42.000 It's like if everything's racist, racism isn't racism.

02:37:44.000 And you're like, you're now taking away our ability to identify predators.

02:37:48.000 And it's like, dudes like us, it's like, ladies, I promise you, if a guy brags about rape, we'll fuck that dude up.

02:37:48.000 Yeah.

02:37:55.000 It's like no one likes that guy.

02:37:57.000 You're in a small enough community where people feel responsibility.

02:38:00.000 Right.

02:38:00.000 That's the big problem.

02:38:02.000 I read about this once.

02:38:03.000 There's a phrase called diffusion of responsibility that happens in a large group of people that see something happen.

02:38:09.000 Like there was a picture.

02:38:10.000 Kitty Genevieve, where she got killed in front of 40 people in New York City.

02:38:13.000 Exactly.

02:38:14.000 Exactly.

02:38:15.000 There was a picture, a video rather, from Chicago really recently.

02:38:20.000 See if you can find Jamie.

02:38:22.000 Where a guy assaults a woman and he did it on a security camera.

02:38:26.000 He headkicked her and knocked her out. 1.00

02:38:29.000 I mean, it was fucking awful.

02:38:31.000 I don't know what led to it, but this guy punched her and then, I mean, like, skillfully head-kicked her.

02:38:38.000 Like, he took martial arts before.

02:38:40.000 She gets KO'd.

02:38:42.000 She falls down and a bunch of people walk over and start filming her.

02:38:45.000 Jesus Christ.

02:38:46.000 This is one that I don't think I retweeted because I think I'm not entirely sure if I remember correctly, but I think I thought about retweeting.

02:38:54.000 I'm like, look, people don't need to see this.

02:38:56.000 This is not something I want to promote and support.

02:38:58.000 But it was, someone wrote, this is like an episode of Black Mirror because this guy kicked this girl and instead of calling 911, these people are filming this girl while she's curled up in a, did you find it?

02:39:12.000 I don't even know if I want you to find it.

02:39:15.000 But this girl curls up in a fetal position on the sidewalk and they're standing around her filming it.

02:39:20.000 Well, I think a big political divide isn't good, evil, blah, blah, blah.

02:39:25.000 It's population density.

02:39:27.000 It's like cities, like what we're talking about, all these monkeys going by each other and no one's eating each other's faces.

02:39:32.000 You want a powerful government to keep it chill.

02:39:34.000 But if you live in a place with a 40-minute police response time, it's about individuality.

02:39:39.000 And that's when you start going more libertarian because it's like, well, I have a gun and chickens, you know, versus like a big city where it's like, we need a powerful government to keep everyone relaxed.

02:39:50.000 Well, you can't always rely on daddy.

02:39:52.000 Oh, dude, I'm always ready to go.

02:39:54.000 Oh, dude, I've seen fucking daddy doesn't do shit.

02:39:57.000 Daddy's a guy who wanted a job being daddy.

02:39:59.000 Yeah.

02:40:00.000 That's what police daddy is.

02:40:01.000 Police daddy is, I mean, and sometimes you get great guys and sometimes you get fools.

02:40:05.000 Yeah.

02:40:06.000 It's like across the board.

02:40:07.000 Like you might run into the best guy ever when you're shopping at Walgreens.

02:40:10.000 You might run into a fucking moron.

02:40:13.000 Right.

02:40:13.000 You know, and it's like a job needed to be filled and you might have hit the perfect guy.

02:40:18.000 And I love the way you describe cops.

02:40:20.000 It's like, it's the hardest job in the world.

02:40:22.000 The hardest.

02:40:23.000 And then you meet cops.

02:40:25.000 They're like, God bless you, man.

02:40:27.000 And then you meet cops and I'm like, oh, you wanted power.

02:40:27.000 You're the greatest.

02:40:30.000 Fuck you, man.

02:40:31.000 And it's like, it's such a hard job.

02:40:33.000 It's like teacher, you know, it's like all my family are teachers.

02:40:37.000 And it's like, oh, these are like, oh, throw away job.

02:40:39.000 I'm just going to be a teacher.

02:40:40.000 It's like, oh, you're going to educate the youth and cops are going to keep us safe.

02:40:42.000 Those are our fucking warrior heroes, you know?

02:40:45.000 You know what?

02:40:46.000 I mean, this is a very easy thing for me to say when I say I haven't had a bad experience with cops because I haven't.

02:40:52.000 I really haven't.

02:40:53.000 I mean, I've had cops like get mouthy with me before, but I've always, I've always said, no, sir.

02:40:58.000 Thank you very much.

02:40:59.000 I've always been like, I've always like immediately tried to diffuse the situation, but I'm a white guy.

02:41:05.000 I, you know, I speak pretty calmly.

02:41:08.000 I'm a comedian.

02:41:09.000 I'm an entertainer.

02:41:10.000 A lot of them know me from the UFC.

02:41:11.000 At this point, it's almost like I'm out of the game.

02:41:14.000 This point, like cops run into me, like almost all cops are fans of the UFC.

02:41:18.000 So if I run into a cop, the cop's like, oh, it's Joe Rogan.

02:41:21.000 Hey, what's up, man?

02:41:22.000 I'm like, hey, hey, what's up, man?

02:41:23.000 And he realizes, like, oh, this is a guy.

02:41:25.000 I'm not a terrorist.

02:41:26.000 Like, I'm not a criminal.

02:41:28.000 I'm out of the confusion.

02:41:30.000 Like, he doesn't have to worry about me shooting him in the head.

02:41:33.000 Oh, totally.

02:41:33.000 And it's like, I shake his hand.

02:41:35.000 I'm like, what's up, brother?

02:41:35.000 How you doing?

02:41:36.000 And we're all good.

02:41:37.000 So I'm almost looking at it like a privileged outsider.

02:41:42.000 But even when I was young, because you know, my actual biological dad was a cop.

02:41:47.000 I don't know him.

02:41:48.000 I never knew him.

02:41:49.000 I mean, I knew him until I was like six.

02:41:51.000 He's got great jeans in him, bro.

02:41:53.000 But that.

02:41:55.000 But when I was a kid, I remember thinking, like, what a crazy job.

02:41:58.000 Like, he has to go out and arrest bad guys.

02:42:01.000 Fear, fear, fear.

02:42:02.000 It's also probably one of the reasons why led him to be so fucked up. 0.88

02:42:06.000 You know, and I never really let him off the hook for that.

02:42:09.000 But I saw a lot of dark shit from my actual biological dad when I was a little kid, like violent stuff.

02:42:14.000 And I was like, well, of course.

02:42:17.000 He's a cop in New Jersey in 1967.

02:42:21.000 Like, how do you not be fucking violent?

02:42:24.000 Totally.

02:42:25.000 You're not going to live.

02:42:26.000 You're not going to survive.

02:42:27.000 You're on the front line.

02:42:28.000 And then going from that to martial arts, from the time I was like 15 years old, I was completely immersed in martial arts.

02:42:36.000 And I ran into a ton of cops.

02:42:38.000 And they were all like regular guys.

02:42:39.000 And it made me think, okay, when I think of a cop, I don't think of someone that I'm running into that's trying to lock me up.

02:42:45.000 I think of some poor guy who has this position in life where he's the guy who has to put the badge on and hold the gun And wear the stupid hat and stand in front of the criminal and go, put your hands up, put your hands up, and hope he doesn't get shot by a guy behind him that he doesn't know exists.

02:43:00.000 And this is his life 24-7, all day long.

02:43:03.000 Comes home to his kids, they're sleeping, he kisses them on the head, and he thinks about the kid that he saw shot in the apartment building in the Bronx.

02:43:09.000 Oh, dude.

02:43:10.000 He has to think about that stuff.

02:43:11.000 It's like I'm boys with a lot of cops where I live, and a lot of them are troopers who are like really well-trained, and they're like the coolest dudes ever.

02:43:18.000 And they just, it's almost like the cop's emotion is just like where it's like, you just microwaved your fucking baby, dude.

02:43:25.000 Yeah.

02:43:26.000 You know, where it's like they see the shit, and then like I do benefits for like tour de force and shit for like fallen officers.

02:43:32.000 And because I have so much compassion for that shit, man.

02:43:36.000 It's like they are the watchdogs of our area, but then you get the bad seed or you get someone who makes a horrific mistake and then justice isn't given.

02:43:46.000 And that's why it's complicated.

02:43:48.000 You know, sometimes it's about like lawsuits where it's like, you know, someone fucks up and no one wants to admit they're wrong.

02:43:54.000 And then the community that witnessed that is like, they want, they're like, they just want justice.

02:44:00.000 What's also the punishment of fucking up is so extreme.

02:44:02.000 Oh my God.

02:44:03.000 Imagine if we bomb and we fucking kill them.

02:44:05.000 They come back.

02:44:06.000 You know, it's like one of our jokes bombs and someone fucking's kid dies.

02:44:10.000 Like that's why, dude, cops deserve a lot of respect.

02:44:13.000 Dude, it's like, it's a crazy job.

02:44:15.000 It's a crazy job and you're dealing with pressure that most of us could never possibly imagine.

02:44:20.000 And the life and death decisions happen at the blink of an eye and you are responsible for those decisions for the rest of your life.

02:44:27.000 And this is like something that I talk about too much.

02:44:29.000 I've got a piss so bad.

02:44:31.000 Jamie, can you keep a conversation with Owen Benjamin?

02:44:33.000 I'm a lightweight.

02:44:34.000 I don't know how to hold my pee anymore.

02:44:35.000 I'll be right back.

02:44:35.000 Hey, no, Malcolm Gladwell's got that blink, that blink book.

02:44:39.000 Yeah, hold on to that thought.

02:44:40.000 Talk to Jamie.

02:44:40.000 I will.

02:44:41.000 Hey, Jamie, what's going down?

02:44:42.000 What's going on, man?

02:44:43.000 Man, he's about to pee out of his car.

02:44:44.000 I know this is the first time.

02:44:46.000 He's had to do this during a podcast, I think.

02:44:47.000 So Rocktober fucked him up.

02:44:49.000 Yeah, he never has to piss.

02:44:50.000 Never.

02:44:51.000 It's a three and a hour or two and a half hours in.

02:44:53.000 Dude, I think this one's going to go for a while.

02:44:56.000 Yeah, I was going to get you guys some more ice if you needed it.

02:44:58.000 Dude, I fucking love Rogan, man.

02:44:59.000 He's such a good dude.

02:45:02.000 What are you looking at?

02:45:04.000 I had a couple of things pulled up to talk to you guys about.

02:45:06.000 You can talk to me about anything, man.

02:45:08.000 We were talking about South Park before this.

02:45:09.000 Dude, the greatest show ever made.

02:45:11.000 What was going on?

02:45:12.000 You said the Halloween episode just happened.

02:45:15.000 Yeah, dude, it's about...

02:45:21.000 The dudes Drink Jack and Smoke Crack.

02:45:24.000 That's not a spoiler.

02:45:25.000 It's the first act of the episode, but definitely check it out.

02:45:28.000 I just think that sometimes people ask me where I land politically, and I usually just tell them South Park.

02:45:33.000 Because it's just as objective as you can probably get to the point where Trey Parker is like a fucking genius.

02:45:41.000 Dude, awesome.

02:45:42.000 Such a big fan.

02:45:43.000 I wish he would come talk to us here one time.

02:45:46.000 Oh, my God.

02:45:47.000 Trey Parker, if you're listening, you did hire me once at Comic-Con in San Diego.

02:45:51.000 I don't know if you remember that to host a thing.

02:45:55.000 So why don't you come on the Rogan podcast?

02:45:57.000 Yeah, they just had their new video game came out.

02:45:59.000 I don't know if I was trying to explain that to you.

02:46:01.000 You were talking about the game.

02:46:02.000 Oh, it's about taking a shot.

02:46:03.000 It's about taking a shit.

02:46:04.000 The game is called Fractured Butthole.

02:46:05.000 Not butthole, but the word B-U-T in the W-H-O-L-E.

02:46:09.000 Oh, butthole. 1.00

02:46:10.000 Exactly.

02:46:11.000 Play on the hole.

02:46:11.000 That's profound.

02:46:13.000 But you have to take a shit in everybody's house all over the city to be making your mark.

02:46:19.000 Dude, the thing I love about South Park is that they go after everybody, and that's why I have so much respect for them.

02:46:25.000 You know, they tried to go after Islam as much as they went after the Mormons. 0.82

02:46:28.000 And that's why I'm like, you guys are great.

02:46:31.000 You know, because it's all about just like no one gets a pass, because that's when you create martyrs and shit.

02:46:36.000 I like doing podcasts way better, high and stoned and drunk.

02:46:40.000 Dude, this is way fun.

02:46:42.000 It's way more fun.

02:46:44.000 Sober October is important.

02:46:46.000 You know why?

02:46:46.000 Just like running up a hill is important because it makes you appreciate naps.

02:46:51.000 Dude, and weight vests, I miss my weight fast.

02:46:54.000 You talk about weight vests and chins.

02:46:56.000 Yeah, you got to do chin-ups with weight vests.

02:46:57.000 It's very important.

02:46:58.000 Do you like chin-ups more than pull-ups?

02:47:01.000 They're both the same to me.

02:47:02.000 I just need pulling exercises.

02:47:03.000 I mean, there's a bunch of different ones.

02:47:05.000 I actually have these things where the handles rotate, so you can do them a bunch of different ways.

02:47:09.000 But it's just a matter of lifting your body weight.

02:47:12.000 I think when I talked about movement before, it's one of the things that I got from this whole month of doing yoga.

02:47:19.000 And I knew I've been doing yoga pretty extensively.

02:47:25.000 Oh, this guy's a switching back and forth.

02:47:27.000 Is that tough?

02:47:27.000 That's a good move.

02:47:28.000 I was going to ask you about that.

02:47:29.000 Yeah, it's hard to do.

02:47:30.000 Yeah.

02:47:31.000 It's hard to release because you're essentially throwing yourself up and then exploding to catch yourself.

02:47:36.000 I wonder if you wax off like that.

02:47:39.000 Why wouldn't you just keep switching?

02:47:39.000 Why not?

02:47:41.000 What I learned from the yoga thing, though, and I've learned over the last few years, is like it's a balance issue.

02:47:48.000 Like what yoga does is balance everything out.

02:47:50.000 Not just balance in terms of your ability to stand on one foot, but also balance the difference between the strength of your major muscle groups and then your tendons and your back and your core and the connecting things like your knees and your hips and all these things you never take into consideration.

02:48:08.000 Like you don't really put a lot of emphasis on when you're doing other things.

02:48:12.000 But when you do yoga, you realize, oh, my feet are giving out first.

02:48:15.000 Huh?

02:48:16.000 Oh, like my hips are getting sore when I get into triangle pose.

02:48:19.000 Like, oh, my, you know, and all that different stuff that you do that like it leads to like the strengthening, strengthening of ignored aspects of the entire system.

02:48:32.000 And it also keeps you off your phone.

02:48:34.000 Like I've been doing hot yoga with my wife and it's like, it's so hard and she's so good at it. 0.85

02:48:40.000 And like, it's so funny because she'll do, we'll do hot yoga together like once a week, maybe twice a week.

02:48:45.000 And she'll get real horny and I'm get real dehydrated.

02:48:48.000 So it's like that, it's the most frustrating combination because it's like she gets really in touch with her body and she's so fucking hot and it's like awesome. 0.88

02:48:56.000 But then I'm like, oh, I need about a gallon of water to make my cock like awesome.

02:49:00.000 Well, just drink that gallon of water.

02:49:02.000 I work on it.

02:49:03.000 But I usually under bring water into the hot area.

02:49:06.000 The key to the yoga is you got to drink the water beforehand.

02:49:10.000 I'm usually hungover from the fucking PBRs. 0.99

02:49:13.000 Yeah.

02:49:13.000 You got to drink, especially the hot yoga, you got to drink like, try to drink like a liter, like a liter of water, like maybe, you know, an hour before.

02:49:22.000 Maybe even more.

02:49:24.000 Yeah, I try to drink, what is 64 ounces?

02:49:27.000 How much is that a house?

02:49:28.000 This is probably going ounces to liters.

02:49:29.000 It's all confusing.

02:49:30.000 God, I wish we would switch over to the metric system.

02:49:33.000 It's way better.

02:49:34.000 But that one English fucking king that just screwed it for everybody. 0.90

02:49:38.000 Is that what it went?

02:49:39.000 Yeah, dude.

02:49:40.000 They tried his foot with his foot.

02:49:42.000 But we tried it again in the United States in, I want to say the 70s or the 80s.

02:49:48.000 2.7 liters per day.

02:49:50.000 Hold on.

02:49:51.000 91 ounces, 64 ounces of water per day.

02:49:54.000 Recommended we consume 91 ounces.

02:49:57.000 Okay, so 2.7 liters is 91 ounces.

02:49:59.000 So 64 liters is probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 2 liters.

02:50:03.000 Oh, yeah, 1.8.

02:50:05.000 1.89 liters.

02:50:07.000 I think that's what I bring to yoga.

02:50:09.000 I bring a 64 ounce thing.

02:50:11.000 I think if you can get that in, though, before class, like if you could get up early and drink water with lemon in it, you'll have a better performance.

02:50:20.000 Because it's literally like, and I see it a lot from guys that get dehydrated and try to make weight.

02:50:26.000 You're literally dealing with the electrical signals that go to your muscles.

02:50:30.000 They're not going to fire.

02:50:32.000 And brain.

02:50:32.000 And brain, yeah.

02:50:33.000 Like I got a camel pack and I crush it while I'm mowing my lawn. 1.00

02:50:37.000 Do you?

02:50:37.000 You have one of those?

02:50:39.000 Like a water bladder and with a straw?

02:50:41.000 Yeah.

02:50:41.000 I love it.

02:50:42.000 Yeah, because I use it when I cross-country ski because if I pull my hand out of my glove, like my hand freezes.

02:50:47.000 Yeah, those are great for hiking too.

02:50:49.000 And hot, well, if you're at hot or cold weather at high climates, at high altitudes.

02:50:49.000 Yeah.

02:50:55.000 Oh, you get dehydrated as shit.

02:50:57.000 Like in Aspen, like the Aspen Comedy Festival back in the day.

02:51:00.000 In that day, I remember that.

02:51:01.000 I'd have like three beers and be like, I'm king of the world.

02:51:04.000 I did a show with Lewis Black, and they had oxygen backstage for us.

02:51:08.000 I was like, Lewis, what the fuck is the oxygen for?

02:51:08.000 Really?

02:51:11.000 He's like, I guess if one of us goes too hard, they slap that fucking mask on your face.

02:51:16.000 I was like, that's crazy.

02:51:17.000 Dude, training up there, that's like where the Olympics train and shit sometimes.

02:51:21.000 Because it's like a plate layer.

02:51:21.000 Yeah.

02:51:23.000 They're fucking like dying for it.

02:51:24.000 Anytime you can get at high altitude, it just, they say you should actually work out at low altitude, but live most of your life at high altitude.

02:51:33.000 I'm at like 3,000.

02:51:34.000 That's good.

02:51:35.000 3,000 is definitely better than zero.

02:51:37.000 You know, and if you can get accustomed to that, they say, I talked to a dude once when I lived in Boulder, and he told me that it takes three years for you to fully acclimate to a high altitude.

02:51:48.000 But that once you do fully acclimate, there's like extreme cardiovascular benefits.

02:51:53.000 Whoa.

02:51:54.000 But you get a sweet boner.

02:51:56.000 Maybe not.

02:51:57.000 Maybe that's the trade-off.

02:51:59.000 You can run forever, but your dick is always three-quarter masked.

02:52:02.000 That's what I miss about LA is the beach runs and the people.

02:52:05.000 No, it's the people, like dudes like you and like just really like brilliantly creative people.

02:52:10.000 And also the beach runs and shit.

02:52:12.000 It's the physical beauty here.

02:52:13.000 I don't miss the entertainment industry or the traffic.

02:52:16.000 It's a different kind of beauty, right?

02:52:17.000 Like you're in the mountains.

02:52:18.000 Oh, it's so gorgeous, but I miss those like the oxygen zero fucking feet sea level, just running.

02:52:25.000 We used to live in Marina del Rey and that path, I just listened to Dan Carlin, just listened about fucking Genghis Khan as I just run with my fucking camel pack. 0.74

02:52:34.000 And that was a blast.

02:52:36.000 That's the thing about LA that I think is really beautiful is like the amount of biomes, like mountain, you know, there's some desert, there's some beach.

02:52:44.000 Ocean.

02:52:45.000 Yeah.

02:52:46.000 Yeah, I think you're right.

02:52:47.000 But I think, you know, if you have the ability to travel to all of them, you'll, well, I think you appreciated probably where you moved when you first moved there, right?

02:52:58.000 Yeah, and I still love it though, man.

02:52:59.000 Like now I'm like, I always miss it when I'm away from it.

02:53:03.000 But I know what you're saying.

02:53:04.000 Yeah, it's easy, right?

02:53:06.000 It's easy to get like real accustomed to what you see right in front of your face.

02:53:10.000 Yeah.

02:53:11.000 And like, I have so many memories now with my family there and my chickens just giving me food every day.

02:53:15.000 They just keep shitting out eggs and feeding. 0.54

02:53:17.000 You don't have wolves up there either, right?

02:53:19.000 We got coyotes, and I've learned a lot about coyotes from your podcast.

02:53:22.000 Dan Flores.

02:53:23.000 Do you kill them?

02:53:24.000 They multiply.

02:53:25.000 They're like gremlins.

02:53:26.000 You can't kill coyotes.

02:53:27.000 It's actually the worst thing you can do.

02:53:32.000 There's a type of fishers.

02:53:35.000 Fisher cats.

02:53:36.000 They keep jacking my shit.

02:53:38.000 And foxes and raccoons are my enemies.

02:53:40.000 Coyotes, not so much.

02:53:42.000 Coyotes will get a chicken if they can, but coyotes are smart. 0.92

02:53:46.000 They're oddly clever.

02:53:47.000 Like, they figure out how to avoid people.

02:53:49.000 You know, one of the things that I found most fascinating about Dan Flores' book, Coyote America, was the mythology that the Native Americans had about coyotes.

02:54:00.000 That the coyote was essentially a god.

02:54:02.000 Yeah.

02:54:03.000 And the coyote was a god that was watching over you, like watching what you did all the time, constantly judging you.

02:54:10.000 It was really weird.

02:54:11.000 Like the Native American and some tribes, their interpretation of what a coyote was is really fascinating.

02:54:17.000 I mean, they're pretty powerful if like if they jack your chickens, like sometimes like we're talking about empathy, like what's it like to live a different life.

02:54:24.000 I'm like, what if I needed these chickens?

02:54:26.000 Like I got more chickens, but we had one chicken Holocaust. 0.98

02:54:29.000 And I'm like, we're fucked now.

02:54:31.000 Imagine if that was like the winner and like the chickens are gone.

02:54:34.000 It's like, what do we eat?

02:54:35.000 Right.

02:54:35.000 But here's the thing.

02:54:36.000 You weren't fucked, but the coyote is.

02:54:38.000 Like this is, I had a weird come to Jesus moment when it came to coyotes when a coyote stole one of my chickens and I watched it.

02:54:44.000 You were talking about that he tricked my dog.

02:54:46.000 Something dick.

02:54:47.000 It's a honey dick. 0.99

02:54:47.000 He called it. 0.99

02:54:48.000 Honey dick.

02:54:49.000 Honey dick, Johnny Cash.

02:54:50.000 Johnny Cash is my master.

02:54:51.000 Mastiff.

02:54:52.000 And Johnny Cash is a tank.

02:54:54.000 This is how fucked up Johnny Cash is.

02:54:56.000 Johnny Cash got into the chicken coop just a couple of months ago.

02:55:00.000 Just a couple of months ago, Johnny Cash tore through the chicken wire with his paws and got in and it was a chicken Holocaust in there. 0.98

02:55:09.000 Just killed a chicken.

02:55:10.000 He's eating him?

02:55:11.000 Yeah, he killed like four chickens in one setting.

02:55:13.000 It was a disaster.

02:55:14.000 And I saw him in my underwear.

02:55:16.000 I was like, I looked out the window and I saw the chicken.

02:55:16.000 I went outside.

02:55:20.000 I was like, fuck.

02:55:21.000 And I ran downstairs in my underwear.

02:55:22.000 I yanked him out of the chicken coop.

02:55:24.000 I pick him up and throw him outside.

02:55:26.000 He's fucking 12.

02:55:28.000 He's an old man. 0.95

02:55:29.000 Good for him, but he's just still getting after it.

02:55:33.000 Just getting it.

02:55:34.000 Do you like name your chickens and get bummed with it?

02:55:36.000 Well, I don't, but my wife got it.

02:55:37.000 My wife got the same fucking name. 1.00

02:55:38.000 Yeah, like Clucky and fucking Meredith and shit. 1.00

02:55:40.000 Princess Petunia.

02:55:42.000 Princess Petunia got jacked by Johnny Cash.

02:55:45.000 A little FYI.

02:55:47.000 Dude, my wife names like deer and shit, like one Spot. 1.00

02:55:50.000 And I'm like, I think my brother wants to kill Spot, dude.

02:55:52.000 Yeah, I'd fuck spot up.

02:55:54.000 I don't do that.

02:55:55.000 You know, but that's the thing.

02:55:56.000 It's like, if they were in my neighborhood, I would probably name them too.

02:56:01.000 Yeah.

02:56:02.000 And I'm on the road a lot, and that's when I know she misses me when she's like, oh, here comes David.

02:56:06.000 I'm like, the raccoon.

02:56:09.000 It's always just a fucking animal.

02:56:12.000 Yeah.

02:56:13.000 Spot might have to go.

02:56:14.000 David might have to go.

02:56:15.000 Yeah, because my brother's getting into hunting now.

02:56:17.000 And I think he wants to kill Spot.

02:56:19.000 So you have thought, you talked about it before the podcast that you thought about actually getting into hunting yourself, but you don't want to wound it out.

02:56:25.000 Right.

02:56:26.000 It has to be a quick kill.

02:56:27.000 Because I would love to hunt.

02:56:29.000 And my wife wants me to hunt because my uncle hunts a lot.

02:56:33.000 Whenever we stay with him, he's always got pheasant and shit.

02:56:36.000 And it gets me pretty jacked up.

02:56:37.000 Like natural animals, I think there is some juice in it.

02:56:41.000 There's something different.

02:56:42.000 There's something going on.

02:56:43.000 Does anybody around you hunt and is willing to take you and mentor you?

02:56:49.000 Everybody.

02:56:50.000 They want to mentor you?

02:56:51.000 Fuck yeah.

02:56:51.000 All you have to do is learn how to shoot a rifle.

02:56:54.000 Right.

02:56:54.000 And here's, I mean, there's a lot you could read about shooting, but you have to get someone who sets up the scope correctly, sets up the rifle correctly, and then you just have to have someone teach you the proper form and how to just only move your finger.

02:57:11.000 Just pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, pull, and get a surprise shot. 0.78

02:57:15.000 You can't go if you try to shoot because you'll flinch.

02:57:18.000 And a minor movement left or right over 100 yards could equal, it could be the difference between a lethal shot and shooting an animal in the butt.

02:57:28.000 And anybody who's shot a rifle, including me, has done that before.

02:57:31.000 It's not good.

02:57:32.000 And we shoot a lot.

02:57:34.000 We'll shoot AR-15s and shit.

02:57:38.000 We'll get a nice section of land.

02:57:39.000 My brother has 40 acres in this beautiful area.

02:57:42.000 And it's like, and by the way, it's so cheap up there, dude.

02:57:44.000 You can get an acre for like 800 bucks.

02:57:46.000 You know, and you just get this, this.

02:57:49.000 Wait, you can get an acre of land for 800 bucks?

02:57:52.000 And it's the most beautiful shit you've ever seen.

02:57:55.000 Is there direct flights?

02:57:57.000 There's an airport in fucking Serena.

02:57:59.000 Yeah, there's one directory that I'm not going to name.

02:58:03.000 You have to fly like Syracuse or some shit and then take a puddle jumper that could kill flights. 1.00

02:58:10.000 Yeah.

02:58:12.000 But there's enough super wealthy people there that we have a pretty legit airport in this little area.

02:58:18.000 Right, but they fly their own jets in. 0.94

02:58:20.000 Those fuckers. 1.00

02:58:21.000 They do.

02:58:21.000 They fly their private jets into your little funky town.

02:58:24.000 Yeah, and then they just sit there and then we are always like, will you pay us to hunt for you?

02:58:28.000 Yeah.

02:58:29.000 But dude, you'd like it up there.

02:58:31.000 My brother's like, dude, ask me if he wants to hunt.

02:58:33.000 'Cause it's like, it's like What kind of animals?

02:58:36.000 We have moose, deer.

02:58:38.000 It's probably hard to get a moose tag, though, right?

02:58:41.000 No, it's not that hard.

02:58:43.000 Moose, it's hard to miss.

02:58:46.000 You're talking about shooting a house.

02:58:47.000 They're like an ancient looking animal, man.

02:58:49.000 They're so crazy looking.

02:58:50.000 And they're fucking vicious.

02:58:51.000 Oh, well, they are rare in the deer family.

02:58:55.000 Like, all deer will fuck you up if they have to.

02:58:58.000 Especially when they're in rut.

02:58:59.000 They're just like.

02:58:59.000 Yeah, but a moose will try to fuck you up.

02:59:02.000 There's a difference because they're constantly deering with grizzly bears and brown bears.

02:59:02.000 Yeah.

02:59:06.000 And they can fuck you up.

02:59:07.000 They can fuck you up.

02:59:08.000 They're big, dude.

02:59:09.000 I saw one once up there and it was like a come to Jesus moment where I'm like, oh, I'm not, I'm a guest in this area.

02:59:16.000 Dude, I shot one that was young.

02:59:18.000 He was like a forky.

02:59:19.000 Like he had like a little fork on the left and a fork on the right.

02:59:22.000 And each one of his legs was over 100 pounds.

02:59:25.000 I had to scoop his leg up and throw it over my shoulder.

02:59:27.000 Yeah.

02:59:28.000 Bigger than Alley Wong.

02:59:30.000 It's almost like a stone in England where it's like, how many Alley Wongs do you weigh? 0.85

02:59:37.000 I did a cover for Peterson's hunting magazine.

02:59:41.000 And on the cover, I'm holding a moose leg over my shoulder. 0.59

02:59:44.000 And it's a crazy picture.

02:59:44.000 Yeah.

02:59:45.000 Like, you look at how big that fucking leg is. 0.57

02:59:47.000 And that's not a big moose.

02:59:49.000 The moose that I shot was only like maybe 900 pounds.

02:59:53.000 It's like fairly small for a moose.

02:59:55.000 But that's like the entire offensive line of the Dallas Cowboys.

02:59:59.000 There it is right there.

03:00:00.000 That's awesome.

03:00:01.000 That moose would have fucked me up.

03:00:04.000 Like there's not a way in hell you could have stopped that moose from stomping a hole in your chest.

03:00:04.000 Yeah.

03:00:10.000 Yeah, and they want to.

03:00:11.000 It's like a lot of prey animals get almost as vicious as the predators.

03:00:16.000 Even though I don't feel as much empathy for the predators.

03:00:19.000 Like if I wounded a fucking cat.

03:00:22.000 Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, you learned your lesson, bro.

03:00:24.000 Like my brother recently hit a raccoon with a pitchfork and he lived.

03:00:29.000 And I didn't feel bad at all.

03:00:31.000 Well, he lived, as far as you know.

03:00:33.000 Yeah, he's definitely dead now.

03:00:34.000 Yeah, but that's what happens when you come in the hen house. 0.90

03:00:36.000 He definitely had some like leakage.

03:00:38.000 Yeah, that was the rainbow, man.

03:00:39.000 That was the Weinstein.

03:00:40.000 He's coming in trying to get our hands.

03:00:42.000 We fucking stab his ass.

03:00:43.000 No, he was more ethical.

03:00:44.000 Like what he was doing, he's just trying to eat.

03:00:47.000 He just found a way to eat.

03:00:48.000 I mean, he's starving.

03:00:49.000 He's in that hard scrabble life of the wilderness and where the fuck is it? 0.93

03:00:54.000 There's a lot of food up there.

03:00:56.000 Like it's a beautiful area.

03:00:57.000 There's no supermarkets for raccoons.

03:00:59.000 No, they have a whole lot of food.

03:00:59.000 He's got to do what he's got to do.

03:01:00.000 They have a Whole Foods raccoons up there. 1.00

03:01:02.000 Oh, I didn't know.

03:01:03.000 Yes.

03:01:04.000 It's a lot of quinoa for raccoons.

03:01:06.000 Quinoa.

03:01:08.000 Yum, soy isolate.

03:01:10.000 I love pea protein.

03:01:11.000 Doesn't that shit give you boobs? 1.00

03:01:13.000 Doesn't that give you boobs like too much soy? 1.00

03:01:16.000 You would know that shit.

03:01:18.000 I think it's like extraordinary amounts.

03:01:22.000 I think it's one of those things where people like really over-exaggerate the impact of it to emphasize the femininity of going vegan.

03:01:32.000 Right, right, right.

03:01:34.000 You know what I mean?

03:01:35.000 Like, I don't think it really makes you a woman, but I think that, you know, a guy's like, hey, fucking, you could just eat bison. 1.00

03:01:42.000 Right.

03:01:43.000 Digging good hotter.

03:01:44.000 Or you eat soy.

03:01:46.000 Too much.

03:01:48.000 You stop playing flowers.

03:01:50.000 You start lactating.

03:01:51.000 Yeah, you start speedwalking.

03:01:53.000 Dude, bison's good shit. 0.92

03:01:55.000 Yeah, it's good shit.

03:01:56.000 They were almost gone.

03:01:58.000 Does soy really cause man boobs? 1.00

03:02:01.000 Let's find out.

03:02:03.000 What website is this?

03:02:06.000 I never trust doctors with doctor in their first name, though.

03:02:08.000 Dr. Steve Steve.

03:02:09.000 Is he legit?

03:02:10.000 He's legit.

03:02:11.000 He's a friend of mine.

03:02:12.000 I love that guy.

03:02:13.000 Who's on Sirius Satellite Radio?

03:02:15.000 I got to get him on, man.

03:02:16.000 He's supposed to be on a million times.

03:02:18.000 We never put it together.

03:02:19.000 Dr. Steve.

03:02:20.000 Let's make it happen.

03:02:21.000 Dr. Steve, Man, Dr. Steve focuses on very bizarre venereal diseases.

03:02:26.000 He talks about them in depth.

03:02:27.000 You're like, wait, what?

03:02:28.000 Huh?

03:02:29.000 Like syphilis.

03:02:30.000 You can die from that?

03:02:31.000 Like, is there ones we don't know about?

03:02:33.000 Not yet, but for sure they're coming.

03:02:35.000 It's not like there was no herpes, and all of a sudden there's herpes, and that's it.

03:02:40.000 That's why I like being married.

03:02:41.000 It's like, I don't have to worry about that shit now.

03:02:42.000 You think you don't, but what about toilet seats?

03:02:45.000 That's a good thing.

03:02:46.000 Sneezing.

03:02:46.000 What about sneezing?

03:02:47.000 And I like to whack off on toilet seats.

03:02:50.000 What if plants fight back like a fucking M. Shamalama ding-dong?

03:02:54.000 Well, then we're going to get that.

03:02:55.000 We jerk on them.

03:02:56.000 Like, what if they fight back?

03:02:56.000 That's what I'm saying.

03:02:58.000 We whack off on them in Weinstein.

03:03:00.000 Imagine.

03:03:01.000 If Weinstein's horrors didn't just extend to him sexually abusing actresses, but that his cum, when Harvey shot loads on those branches, that those branches like morphed because of the vile hatred for the female organism was in his DNA.

03:03:22.000 And those trees found human babies and female babies and smothered them to death. 0.97

03:03:29.000 Yeah, it just started.

03:03:30.000 And Harvey's come.

03:03:30.000 It started producing movies.

03:03:32.000 It's like produced by Ficus Harvey Jizz.

03:03:35.000 What if it was like his jizz contacted the bark of the tree and created the new plague?

03:03:40.000 Whoa.

03:03:41.000 It's totally possible.

03:03:42.000 It's legit possible.

03:03:43.000 Who the fuck knows what causes the plague?

03:03:45.000 I was reading something about the Black Death is spreading because people are...

03:03:51.000 No, no.

03:03:52.000 It was like somewhere in some place I'm never going to visit.

03:03:55.000 And it was...

03:03:59.000 They were talking about how there's a problem with culture where people pull the bodies out of the ground.

03:04:05.000 They exhume the bodies.

03:04:06.000 They were dancing around them.

03:04:07.000 And it was literally causing the Black Death display.

03:04:10.000 Dancing with death.

03:04:11.000 Madagascar plague is spreading because relatives are digging up their black death corpses and dancing as part of an ancient Famadihana ritual.

03:04:23.000 I mean, that's commitment to dance.

03:04:25.000 That's commitment to stupidity.

03:04:26.000 Where if someone's like, oh, you're going to die if you do that, it's like, no, I fucking love dancing, dude.

03:04:31.000 Which site from the sun?

03:04:32.000 Oh, it's not real?

03:04:33.000 I don't know.

03:04:34.000 Is the sun real or the male's not real?

03:04:35.000 One of them's not real.

03:04:37.000 I think they both have questionable titles.

03:04:38.000 But they're not the onion.

03:04:39.000 Right.

03:04:39.000 They're not the onion.

03:04:40.000 So they're not honorable.

03:04:42.000 More, I think, like the old fake news thing from the grocery store that you'd always see.

03:04:46.000 Oh, bad boy, that kind of thing.

03:04:48.000 Fake news is getting almost like newsy.

03:04:51.000 It's like onion is almost like legit news at this point.

03:04:54.000 What is fake news and what is real news anymore?

03:04:56.000 I have no idea.

03:04:57.000 It's almost like the opium wars where it's like we're just flooded with fucking info at this point.

03:05:01.000 What'd you say, Jamie?

03:05:02.000 So that's what those hearings are about today.

03:05:04.000 There's something, Tim Cook gave a talk this afternoon.

03:05:04.000 I was just reading.

03:05:07.000 The Apple guy?

03:05:08.000 Yeah, based off of the, he says that the fake news spreading is probably a bigger problem than the Russian ads.

03:05:13.000 He says the ads is probably like a 0.1% of the actual problem.

03:05:18.000 And the ability for fake news to spread and manipulate people through social media is problems one through 10 that need to be fixed.

03:05:25.000 Who gets to judge that, though?

03:05:26.000 It's almost like a Martin Luther Catholic Church thing.

03:05:28.000 No, no, no, no.

03:05:30.000 It's not who gets to judge.

03:05:31.000 It's whether or not it's fake.

03:05:33.000 Like concentrating on who the person is that gets to judge, that's not helping anybody.

03:05:38.000 But what's fake and what's not fake, there's got to be a way to differentiate.

03:05:42.000 This should be like a pregnancy test for stories. 0.75

03:05:47.000 Yeah, where it's just plus or minus, and you're like, oh, mine, it says that for me.

03:05:50.000 Hold on a second.

03:05:51.000 Before you tell me this story, I want you to lick this piece of paper.

03:05:53.000 This motherfucker.

03:05:53.000 Yeah.

03:05:54.000 That's hilarious.

03:05:56.000 What does it say right there?

03:05:56.000 It says Tim Cook.

03:05:59.000 Apple CEO says that, scroll up, there's a greater issue than Russian Facebook ads.

03:06:08.000 Here's the thing he said.

03:06:09.000 They had that big hearing going on today and yesterday.

03:06:12.000 With people from Facebook to the bottom of the business.

03:06:13.000 Why does everybody have to be number one?

03:06:16.000 Why does it have to be the number one problem?

03:06:18.000 The number one problem is Russia is not ads.

03:06:22.000 It's fake news.

03:06:23.000 Why is there a goddamn competition between what sucks the most?

03:06:27.000 Listen to me, Tim Cook.

03:06:30.000 They both suck.

03:06:32.000 The ads suck.

03:06:33.000 The stories that are fake suck.

03:06:36.000 Everything sucks!

03:06:38.000 Stop making it about what...

03:06:44.000 It's trans babies.

03:06:46.000 No.

03:06:48.000 Yeah, like, why can't multiple things suck simultaneously?

03:06:50.000 Why do we have a contest?

03:06:51.000 What is there, a top 10 list of the suckiest things about life?

03:06:55.000 How about things just suck?

03:06:56.000 Yeah, like me and my friend.

03:06:57.000 You know Fortune, the comedian, Fortune Femme. 0.90

03:07:00.000 She's very funny.

03:07:00.000 Fortune Fempster.

03:07:01.000 Oh, she's a buddy of mine, and we like, we'll talk on Twitter.

03:07:04.000 She's like, she'll offer a dissenting opinion, but we're like buds, so like we go back and forth.

03:07:10.000 And I was like ripping on some fucking Weinstein type psycho, and she was like, yeah, but what about the fact Trump did this?

03:07:16.000 I'm like, yeah, both sucks.

03:07:18.000 Both sucks.

03:07:19.000 Like, the whole line in the sand, like, you only can fucking say one thing sucks is the end of our civilization.

03:07:25.000 And I think the one good thing that's happened.

03:07:28.000 Wait a minute.

03:07:28.000 What did I read?

03:07:29.000 I read a headline.

03:07:30.000 I didn't read the story.

03:07:31.000 But that Weinstein said that this happened to him to change humanity.

03:07:37.000 See if you can find that.

03:07:39.000 He might have been.

03:07:40.000 That's a fucking angle.

03:07:41.000 It's a good angle.

03:07:42.000 That's a great angle.

03:07:43.000 If I was his buddy and we were doing mushrooms together, I was like, listen to me, bro.

03:07:46.000 You just handle this right.

03:07:49.000 Dude, it's a good thing that you jerked on that ficus.

03:07:52.000 Not that part.

03:07:53.000 The ficus is the most forgivable part.

03:07:56.000 part yeah that's the Who said it?

03:07:59.000 It's Weinstein Pals said that.

03:08:02.000 His pals?

03:08:04.000 What?

03:08:04.000 Okay.

03:08:05.000 Weinstein tells pals.

03:08:06.000 Oh, there you go.

03:08:08.000 Jamie.

03:08:09.000 Hey, well, I mean, this is also second-hand information.

03:08:11.000 He wasn't quoted directly.

03:08:12.000 But it says he tells pals that the scandal happened so he could change the world.

03:08:16.000 That's what I said.

03:08:17.000 So make it larger.

03:08:18.000 It's the hero's journey for perverts.

03:08:21.000 It says, disgraced Harvey Weinstein has been telling what friends he has left that there's a bigger reason that he's embroiled in the ever-wielding, widening sexual harassment scandal to change the world.

03:08:34.000 Sources tell page six.

03:08:36.000 I hate when they say sources say.

03:08:38.000 Harvey believes he's a savior.

03:08:40.000 A Hollywood insider says, okay, this is a free swing.

03:08:45.000 But it's an interesting angle, so let's keep going.

03:08:48.000 A source adds that the Purvy, well, that's rude, former Weinstein company have Miramax matcher.

03:08:56.000 Mir Max matcher?

03:08:58.000 What's a?

03:08:59.000 They might have left out a word or the letter.

03:09:01.000 What's that word?

03:09:02.000 Miramax matcher.

03:09:03.000 Macher?

03:09:04.000 I don't know.

03:09:05.000 Oh, like big macher?

03:09:07.000 Is that like a.

03:09:08.000 I've never heard it used that for a while.

03:09:09.000 It's a good spelling to me.

03:09:13.000 Hasidic word?

03:09:15.000 I know there's like big macha, but I don't think it's macher.

03:09:19.000 Person who gets things done.

03:09:20.000 Oh, it is big machr.

03:09:20.000 Yeah.

03:09:22.000 Yeah, from Yiddish.

03:09:23.000 Nice.

03:09:23.000 Okay, Yiddish.

03:09:24.000 There we go.

03:09:24.000 Has been telling confidants that he was born to take the fall for his behavior in order to change the world.

03:09:32.000 He is resigned to his punishment as a martyr for social change.

03:09:36.000 But here's the thing.

03:09:37.000 A comment, a rep for Weinstein commented, that's absurd.

03:09:42.000 Yeah, it is absurd.

03:09:44.000 But here's the thing.

03:09:45.000 I think that's true.

03:09:47.000 I don't think that there's like some crazy fucking destiny that he has the golden ring and he was supposed to take the fall.

03:09:55.000 But through his own folly, through his own greedy, fat, chubby dick trying to pump his ineffective lows into the mouths of tens, he really is going to change the world.

03:10:07.000 Yeah, but he doesn't get to say it, though.

03:10:09.000 Like the other people have to feel like he did.

03:10:11.000 I don't know if he did.

03:10:12.000 It's one of these insiders that don't exist.

03:10:14.000 They might have been real, but they might have been fake.

03:10:17.000 Jamie?

03:10:18.000 What do you think?

03:10:18.000 If you were a writer, I'm not saying this person did that.

03:10:21.000 You could have made that quote up and just wrote an article.

03:10:24.000 But of course.

03:10:24.000 It's a very juicy headline that gets talked about on podcasts.

03:10:26.000 Yeah, according to sources could be like a picture of the world.

03:10:28.000 According to sources.

03:10:30.000 I mean, I hate to exonerate him, but Trump has said that many times about some of the stories written about him.

03:10:37.000 They keep saying, according to sources.

03:10:39.000 He's like, you don't have any sources.

03:10:40.000 The sources do need to be protected for journalists to do.

03:10:43.000 You're right.

03:10:43.000 So it's a really weird sort of gray area.

03:10:46.000 You're right.

03:10:47.000 Yeah.

03:10:48.000 I mean, there's only one way that someone's going to give you information that could possibly threaten their life.

03:10:56.000 There's no financial benefit, no societal benefit for them.

03:11:01.000 They have to be anonymous.

03:11:03.000 Right?

03:11:04.000 We've always been, and that was like one of the main problems that I had with the Obama administration.

03:11:09.000 You know, people sort of let him slide on that, but Obama was one of the worst with whistleblowers ever.

03:11:15.000 That was a part of the Hope and Change website.

03:11:18.000 A part of the Hope and Change website that was later redacted or deleted was that they were talking about expanding protection for whistleblowers who are exposing someone breaking the law, which is exactly what Edward Snowden did.

03:11:36.000 Yeah, like Obama tricked me.

03:11:38.000 He tricked a lot of Obama.

03:11:39.000 He tricked me, man.

03:11:40.000 He might have tricked himself.

03:11:41.000 Dude, I was like, this is going to unite the races of America, and he's going to be transparent.

03:11:46.000 And he's such a good speaker.

03:11:47.000 He's made me cry, like literally with hope.

03:11:50.000 And then I see what he does, and I'm like, dude, you know 77 cents is bullshit, man.

03:11:57.000 And it's like those little things where I'm like.

03:11:59.000 Let's say what that is.

03:12:00.000 Oh, they say the wage gap between men and women is 77 cents on the dollar.

03:12:04.000 And he said that publicly.

03:12:06.000 He said it publicly, right?

03:12:07.000 And it's one thing if it's BuzzFeed.

03:12:08.000 It's the president of the United States.

03:12:10.000 And that is completely bullshit.

03:12:12.000 It's been debunked by the female president of Harvard. 1.00

03:12:15.000 Like, this is not reality at all.

03:12:17.000 It's like, and so when I see that.

03:12:19.000 Can you explain what it really is, though?

03:12:21.000 Okay, it really is more like a four cents maybe.

03:12:24.000 It's a they don't include factors such as quitting for having a children or dangerous jobs or all this shit.

03:12:33.000 That's just the rough average.

03:12:35.000 But if you look at a man and a woman with the same job for the same amount of years with the same education, it's basically the same.

03:12:42.000 It's very close.

03:12:43.000 In some jobs, a man makes more, and they have attributed that.

03:12:48.000 There's no real way to tell, but they believe that that's attributable to a man is more aggressive in negotiating his initial salary and subsequent raises.

03:12:59.000 And the interesting thing is women are better at negotiating for other people. 1.00

03:13:03.000 Like I've had female agents that are like vicious and awesome because they're like, it's almost like they're baby cops where they're like, no, they deserve more. 1.00

03:13:12.000 But for themselves.

03:13:12.000 That's my baby.

03:13:13.000 That's an interesting point.

03:13:14.000 Yeah, for themselves, they're not as alpha because I think their attractiveness, this isn't Brett Weinstein shit where it's like their attractiveness is so given that they don't have to like most men didn't fucking procreate for most of human civilization.

03:13:27.000 So we're always just trying to be like, look, dude, I got a car.

03:13:31.000 Well, it's an interesting point because like if you have like there's two girls and one girl is like kind of gross and overweight and the other girl is like really pretty, the gross overweight girl will protect that pretty girl like a fucking German shepherd.

03:13:49.000 Totally.

03:13:50.000 She'll be like, but that the gross overweight girl will fuck an entire busload of willing men. 1.00

03:14:01.000 Of course.

03:14:02.000 Yeah, like when I've done U.S. men are like super excited about her.

03:14:05.000 Oh, the standards get out the window.

03:14:07.000 She has a couple of shots of vodka and she's like fucking taking her bra off as she's walking through those expanding school bus doors. 1.00

03:14:16.000 Yeah, like when I've done USO tours, it's like they call them desert roses where it's like, you know, a three is a 10.

03:14:16.000 You know?

03:14:22.000 But that doesn't happen the other way.

03:14:24.000 Like if there's a bunch of women on a desert island, there's some fucking Weinstein with no movie credentials. 1.00

03:14:31.000 They don't need to fuck them. 1.00

03:14:33.000 They can just be like, dude, we can just hang out with each other and just kind of cuddle in one of the waves.

03:14:37.000 They don't need to fuck anybody. 1.00

03:14:38.000 Right.

03:14:38.000 But like dudes are like, as low as it goes, we will potentially meet that standard.

03:14:44.000 And that's why it's like men can highly get specific with their skill set, but we're more susceptible to brain damage.

03:14:52.000 But it's interesting we're talking about like a woman protecting that other woman.

03:14:58.000 Like I do a bit about how women are socialists, men are capitalists, where it's like women, it's like, oh, she's having a bad night.

03:14:58.000 Oh, 100%.

03:15:04.000 We all have to go home, you know, liquor tears, ice cream.

03:15:08.000 Men are like, he's being a buzzkill, fucking cut the week.

03:15:10.000 Exactly.

03:15:11.000 And the opposite is true.

03:15:12.000 It's true.

03:15:12.000 We have to go home for Debbie.

03:15:14.000 Yeah, but the opposite is true where it's like, he's the fastest.

03:15:16.000 Or it's like, he's the funniest.

03:15:17.000 Let's make him king.

03:15:18.000 And the women are like, she has herpes. 1.00

03:15:19.000 Tell everyone.

03:15:20.000 Or no, she's the prettiest.

03:15:21.000 Tell everyone she has herpes.

03:15:23.000 And it's like, it's the tallest nail gets hammered down because in egalitarian societies, like the gatherers have to be like the same, and the hunters value skill.

03:15:31.000 So it's like, can you shut your mouth and shoot a fucking gun?

03:15:33.000 Great, you're in.

03:15:34.000 Versus like berry picking, they're like, everyone's great, right?

03:15:38.000 Let's share babies or share berries.

03:15:41.000 I'm gonna start talking shit about Debbie.

03:15:43.000 I just realized I'm well drunk.

03:15:44.000 You're definitely drunk.

03:15:45.000 Yeah, but the point I made is still valid.

03:15:47.000 You were good for a while, but then you didn't know how to get off the horse.

03:15:49.000 Yeah, yeah.

03:15:50.000 I said babies instead of berries.

03:15:52.000 You get to a certain point in an idea and you're freewall and you're like, oh my God, I'm like skiing down a hill that I don't know how to stop.

03:15:52.000 That happens, man.

03:15:59.000 Yeah, I just started winging it.

03:16:01.000 We've done enough.

03:16:02.000 This is like three hours and 20 minutes, right?

03:16:04.000 How many minutes?

03:16:05.000 Yeah, yeah, three or five.

03:16:07.000 Sweet, dude.

03:16:07.000 Three or five.

03:16:08.000 This has been a blast.

03:16:09.000 I love you, man.

03:16:09.000 I love you too, buddy.

03:16:10.000 This is fun.

03:16:11.000 I'm glad we did this.

03:16:12.000 Me too.

03:16:12.000 And I'm glad I was with you for the first alcohol and the first marijuana I had in 31 days.

03:16:17.000 And I'm here to tell you, sobriety is fucking highly underrated and overrated at the same time.

03:16:24.000 It's overrated when it comes to podcasts, that's for sure.

03:16:27.000 But it's good.

03:16:28.000 It's good to take a month off.

03:16:29.000 I like it.

03:16:30.000 It's respect.

03:16:30.000 It's good.

03:16:31.000 I feel good about it.

03:16:32.000 I'm excited.

03:16:33.000 I'm good to be back on the horse.

03:16:34.000 I should take a month off Twitter to show my fucking willpower.

03:16:37.000 No, that's not worth it.

03:16:38.000 Well, you have to promote gigs.

03:16:40.000 I think a month off interacting with people is not the worst idea in the world.

03:16:44.000 Just send some love out there and then just walk away.

03:16:47.000 You know, but send some good positive feelings.

03:16:47.000 Right.

03:16:50.000 Don't worry about being sappy.

03:16:52.000 Why is sincerity sappy?

03:16:54.000 Like, what happened?

03:16:55.000 Well, are we so fucking cynical that someone can't say much love to everybody?

03:16:59.000 Oh, you fucking pussy. 1.00

03:17:01.000 You know, like, sincerity became sappy somewhere along the line.

03:17:06.000 Let's turn that around.

03:17:07.000 Turn it around.

03:17:08.000 Let's turn it around.

03:17:09.000 And all you bitches out there that think that all white cisgendered men are shit. 1.00

03:17:13.000 Fuck that shit.

03:17:14.000 I pray for you to get some good dick. 1.00

03:17:17.000 Some good friends.

03:17:18.000 And some happy times.

03:17:20.000 To change your ways.

03:17:22.000 The same way Jamie Kilstein did.

03:17:24.000 The same way.

03:17:26.000 I hope we all do.

03:17:28.000 Yeah.

03:17:28.000 I hope we all do.

03:17:29.000 God damn it.

03:17:30.000 All right.

03:17:31.000 We'll see you fucking freaks at the ice house in a few hours. 1.00

03:17:34.000 I'm going to keep this train rolling.

03:17:36.000 And then next week, goddamn, young Jamie, we got a ton of fucking podcasts next week. 0.81

03:17:41.000 All kinds.

03:17:43.000 Oh, shit.

03:17:45.000 Next week, there's Paul Stametz is finally going to be here.

03:17:50.000 Chris Kresser is going to be here again.

03:17:53.000 Bert, Ari, and Tom.

03:17:56.000 Nice.

03:17:56.000 On Tuesday, we're all going to get together and celebrate.

03:18:00.000 Sebastian Younger is going to be here on Monday.

03:18:03.000 Oh, Jesus.

03:18:04.000 We might have Marilyn Manson.

03:18:06.000 Call that dude if you got his number.

03:18:08.000 Work this out.

03:18:09.000 Marquez.

03:18:10.000 He makes it.

03:18:10.000 Yeah, we're going to try to get Marquez.

03:18:12.000 How do you say his last name?

03:18:13.000 Brownlee.

03:18:14.000 Yeah.

03:18:14.000 Brownlee.

03:18:15.000 Who's my favorite tech expert?

03:18:17.000 Billy Corrigan from the Smashing Pumpkins.

03:18:20.000 Jesus Christ.

03:18:21.000 That's crazy.

03:18:21.000 What a fucking week.

03:18:23.000 All right.

03:18:24.000 Bye, everybody.

03:18:27.000 Thank you, my friends.

03:18:30.000 We did it.

03:18:31.000 We did it.

03:18:32.000 We did it, ladies and gentlemen.

03:18:34.000 That's right.

03:18:36.000 We did it.

03:18:39.000 And people are like, hey, man, now that you took a month off of drinking in marijuana, maybe you should take a month off of me.

03:18:53.000 Fuck off.

03:18:57.000 No.

03:18:58.000 I know what I'm doing.

03:19:00.000 Maybe one day.

03:19:01.000 Not today.

03:19:03.000 Not interested.

03:19:05.000 But I did learn a lot in taking a month off of mind-altering substances.

03:19:12.000 I learned a lot of the good things and the bad things.

03:19:15.000 And I hope you guys enjoyed our whole journey.

03:19:18.000 And I know a lot of people went along with us.

03:19:22.000 And Bert and Tom and Ari and I all appreciate that.

03:19:26.000 Thank you to our sponsors.

03:19:28.000 Thank you to Tracker.

03:19:30.000 Go to thetracker.com forward slash Rogan to get 20% off any order.

03:19:35.000 That's thetracker, T-R-A-C-K-R.com forward slash Rogan for 20% off.

03:19:45.000 We're also brought to you by Blinkist, B-L-I-N-K-I-S-T dot com forward slash Rogan.

03:19:52.000 Go there to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan.

03:19:59.000 You can learn the important shit in 15 minutes.

03:20:02.000 That's a good move, folks.

03:20:04.000 Who's got the kind of time to be sitting around reading a whole book?

03:20:07.000 Hmm.

03:20:08.000 Hmm.

03:20:10.000 We're also brought to you by Square Cash.

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03:20:17.000 Go to Square Cash or download the free Square Cash app for iOS or Android now.

03:20:26.000 All right, folks.

03:20:27.000 Thank you so much for tuning into the podcast.

03:20:29.000 If you guys celebrated Sober October with us, thank you.

03:20:33.000 We had a great time.

03:20:34.000 And then we're back.

03:20:36.000 We're back.

03:20:37.000 We're back.

03:20:38.000 We made it.

03:20:38.000 We learned a lot.

03:20:39.000 And Owen Benjamin and I, I think, learned a lot today.

03:20:42.000 I enjoyed the shit out of that podcast.

03:20:44.000 All right.

03:20:45.000 We'll see you soon.

The Joe Rogan Experience - November 02, 2017

Joe Rogan Experience #1033 - Owen Benjamin

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript