The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1053 - Neal Brennan

00:00:00.000 Yeah, I wish because I don't have any meaning for the backseat.

00:00:04.000 Four, three, two, one. 1.00

00:00:05.000 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:00:07.000 Ladies and gentlemen, we're live! 1.00

00:00:08.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:00:08.000 We're live on the day of net neutrality. 1.00

00:00:12.000 We might not be broadcasting anymore.

00:00:14.000 Might be over.

00:00:15.000 I don't know how that works.

00:00:17.000 When does it kick in?

00:00:18.000 Right away.

00:00:18.000 I don't know.

00:00:19.000 I have no idea.

00:00:20.000 That's a great thing about it.

00:00:21.000 By the way, has there ever been like a harder time to be a citizen?

00:00:27.000 Meaning like it's just what how much I'd never had to pay this much attention I know right like come on. 0.97

00:00:32.000 It's like fucking we have to babysit It's like their children that we have to like wait. 0.99

00:00:37.000 What are they doing? 0.99

00:00:38.000 No, no, no, like where they used to kind of be able to take care of themselves Yeah, or seemingly could there's not one place where you can go where you can get one Are you shaking that before you open it?

00:00:48.000 Yeah, should I not shake it? 1.00

00:00:49.000 You're a fucking maniac. 1.00

00:00:50.000 Bro, I don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:00:51.000 Blow it all over the place. 1.00

00:00:53.000 Alright, then I'll give it a second. 1.00

00:00:53.000 Yeah, you gotta let that fucker rest. 1.00

00:00:55.000 The worst ones are those little small ones that I have, those cayenne cleanses. 1.00

00:00:59.000 You shake those bitches, they just fucking shoot up to the ceiling. 1.00

00:01:02.000 Is that true? 1.00

00:01:02.000 Yeah, it's all fermented. 1.00

00:01:04.000 It's all carbonated, you know?

00:01:05.000 Yeah.

00:01:06.000 But there's no one source where you can absolutely get 100% unbiased factual information as the news.

00:01:12.000 Everything is leaning one way or leaning another way. 0.99

00:01:15.000 And even CNN, which I used to trust all the time, they fuck up all the time. 0.77

00:01:19.000 They're always having to print retractions. 0.96

00:01:21.000 There was something that was going around today.

00:01:23.000 It's just, there's not one news source where I can say, please just give me the unbiased information with no left or right lean.

00:01:30.000 Yes.

00:01:30.000 Can I get that?

00:01:31.000 Which we talked about beforehand.

00:01:35.000 When there's...

00:01:38.000 Like, even the idea of the New York Times...

00:01:40.000 What people don't understand is...

00:01:42.000 People don't understand journalism a lot of the time.

00:01:45.000 Like, literally, when people go, it's fake news, it's like, you know you can't print fake news because they...

00:01:51.000 You ever have anything in the New Yorker?

00:01:54.000 You ever be quoted in a New Yorker article?

00:01:58.000 They literally...

00:01:59.000 You talk to the journalist, then two different fact-checkers...

00:02:05.000 Call you to confirm what you said.

00:02:08.000 And like, is this true?

00:02:10.000 Right.

00:02:11.000 And I literally, this is in an article about someone else that I gave a quote for.

00:02:17.000 And like, did you say that?

00:02:18.000 And you can confirm that?

00:02:20.000 And they do that at every major journalistic outfit.

00:02:26.000 They did the New York Times, Washington Post...

00:02:29.000 Like, name the big ones.

00:02:31.000 They're not as stringent as the New Yorker because the New Yorker only comes out once a week.

00:02:36.000 But they all have fact checkers.

00:02:38.000 And the thing is, these institutions can get sued.

00:02:42.000 Right.

00:02:42.000 This is not a good example, but it's an example.

00:02:45.000 The Conor McGregor fight.

00:02:47.000 New York Times wrote an article about the Conor McGregor fight.

00:02:49.000 And one of the things they said, that he was covered in blood and rescued by the referee before he fell through the ropes.

00:02:56.000 I contacted them on Twitter and I said, in this day and age, you can't say things that everyone knows are false.

00:03:05.000 Millions of people watched that fight.

00:03:07.000 There was no blood.

00:03:08.000 He was not falling through the ropes and the referee rescued him.

00:03:11.000 You made that up.

00:03:12.000 He was outclassed and battered by a far superior boxer, which is what most boxing people expected.

00:03:19.000 That's the real story. 1.00

00:03:20.000 But you guys added a bunch of shit to it. 1.00

00:03:22.000 That's shading. 1.00

00:03:23.000 That's for sure, yeah.

00:03:24.000 But it's not just shading.

00:03:25.000 It's a straight lie.

00:03:27.000 I know it's not because it's not really...

00:03:30.000 It's inconsequential.

00:03:32.000 It's not a really significant moment.

00:03:34.000 It's not like a big moment in time and the result is the same.

00:03:36.000 But their description of the result makes you wonder, how much other things do you do this to?

00:03:42.000 How many other subjects do you flavor in this weird way?

00:03:45.000 What was their attraction?

00:03:46.000 Because I remember seeing you write that and I was like, oh, that's cool.

00:03:50.000 And they changed it.

00:03:52.000 But they still used hyperbole even in their retraction.

00:03:55.000 They said his face was completely swollen.

00:03:57.000 It wasn't.

00:03:58.000 It wasn't.

00:03:59.000 A quadrant of his face was swollen.

00:04:01.000 A tiny amount.

00:04:01.000 A little bit of swelling from a boxing match.

00:04:04.000 Not some crazy fucking Hasim Rahman shit. 1.00

00:04:08.000 Remember that one? 1.00

00:04:09.000 Where it had an iron on his head?

00:04:12.000 Literally the fun...

00:04:13.000 Maybe the craziest thing I've ever seen in a fight.

00:04:16.000 It was disgusting.

00:04:17.000 This huge hematoma growing out of his forehead.

00:04:20.000 See if you can find that.

00:04:21.000 Hasim Rahman.

00:04:23.000 Lennox Lewis, right?

00:04:24.000 Was it the Lennox Lewis fight?

00:04:26.000 I don't remember.

00:04:29.000 But yeah, he literally had to go to Dr. Pimple Popper.

00:04:32.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:04:33.000 Oh my god, Dr. Pimple Popper.

00:04:35.000 That's hilarious.

00:04:36.000 That was grotesque.

00:04:37.000 That was wild.

00:04:39.000 Yeah, that was an enormous swelling in his head. 0.99

00:04:42.000 He looks like a war criminal and an alien. 0.91

00:04:46.000 It's hard to do. 0.62

00:04:48.000 I don't disagree that they do shade invariably.

00:04:55.000 But you shouldn't.

00:04:56.000 You shouldn't.

00:04:57.000 You should tell the exact story.

00:04:58.000 The exact story was really clear for everybody that watched, the two million people plus that watched it on pay-per-view or more.

00:05:06.000 It wasn't something that you can get away with bullshitting about.

00:05:10.000 Okay, but this wasn't a problem five years ago.

00:05:14.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:05:15.000 It wasn't a problem day to day.

00:05:20.000 And that's the thing that I was yelling at somebody yesterday.

00:05:26.000 Once Fox News created this thing of... 0.99

00:05:36.000 Extremely shaded shit, and people thought there's a market for it. 0.99

00:05:39.000 They were like, alright, we'll do that. 0.99

00:05:40.000 We'll all do that now.

00:05:42.000 And then everyone's reacting, but they don't think they're reacting.

00:05:46.000 And now the New York Times is trying to go the other way, where they hired this guy, Brett Stevens, to write op-ed pieces, and every week there's a new, like, what did you just say?

00:05:56.000 Really?

00:05:56.000 Yeah, because they're trying to be like...

00:05:58.000 They're trying to be kind of moderate or see both sides.

00:06:03.000 And a lot of people on the left are going like, but that's...

00:06:06.000 How are you seeing both sides to, like, slavery?

00:06:08.000 Or how are you seeing... 1.00

00:06:09.000 Like, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

00:06:11.000 Like, what's both sides of climate change? 0.99

00:06:13.000 It's all...

00:06:14.000 They're scientists and not scientists.

00:06:16.000 That's, like, those are the sides.

00:06:18.000 So why are you...

00:06:19.000 This is basically appeasement.

00:06:21.000 I guess as a, you know, consumer of this stuff...

00:06:30.000 To get into this conversation, I wasn't even talking about journalism.

00:06:33.000 I was talking about government. 0.99

00:06:34.000 I was talking about the amount of fucking work it takes just to be like, I gotta worry about statutes and fucking the FCC and fucking executive orders. 0.99

00:06:47.000 I never had to do all this. 0.99

00:06:49.000 Why is this...

00:06:52.000 So much, I don't know if it's, I mean, they would say, like, you know, to be an active democracy, it's only as good as citizens and all that shit, but it seems like we're all more involved, and it's worse. 0.74

00:07:04.000 You know what I mean? 0.89

00:07:05.000 It's way more upsetting.

00:07:08.000 It's constant upset.

00:07:09.000 It feels like havoc every single day.

00:07:13.000 Well, it's definitely not good, especially from the environmental side. 0.76

00:07:19.000 Whenever a president is short-sighted about the environment, that scares the shit out of me, because that has repercussions for generation upon generation. 0.88

00:07:27.000 And he's doing it for short-term money grabbing. 0.90

00:07:29.000 Like the EPA being essentially gutted.

00:07:32.000 What they're doing in Alaska where they're making roads and they're setting up mines near the salmon fisheries.

00:07:39.000 What they're doing in Utah with the monuments.

00:07:42.000 It's scary because they're just chopping away, just chopping away, and the repercussions could be forever.

00:07:47.000 We have an amazing system here in this country in terms of the amount of public land that we have and the beautiful places where you can go and check out. 0.98

00:07:56.000 All it takes is one or two assholes that have a mine, one or two assholes that allow... 0.97

00:08:03.000 Drilling for oil in these places. 0.99

00:08:05.000 All they have to do is extract resources from these public places. 1.00

00:08:08.000 And we're fucked. 0.99

00:08:10.000 And those places are ruined forever. 1.00

00:08:12.000 Not just for your kids, but for your grandchildren, for everybody.

00:08:16.000 Yeah, it's like, I hope you like equipment. 0.98

00:08:18.000 Because there's going to be a lot of fucking equipment at these places now. 0.95

00:08:21.000 That's the thing that I'm curious about. 0.99

00:08:25.000 Uh...

00:08:25.000 People that voted for Trump like, is this what you wanted?

00:08:29.000 They just didn't want a Democrat.

00:08:31.000 Yeah, I know. 0.98

00:08:32.000 I have a notion that they felt excluded by elitism and going to Davos and the Hamptons and all these places and the Aspen Ideas Festival and TED Talks and all that shit. 0.78

00:08:47.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:08:47.000 So it's like, hey, fuck you. 1.00

00:08:48.000 But this is, uh, which I get the notion of fuck you, like, but this is like, dude, you can't tell me that Obama stressed you out on this level. 1.00

00:08:59.000 Like, the level of Trump stress that, like, is just created in the culture, that's what I was saying, like, it's havoc every day. 0.99

00:09:07.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:09:07.000 It's like a fucking melee. 0.99

00:09:09.000 But do you feel the stress every day? 0.99

00:09:11.000 Do you, I mean, are you, like...

00:09:13.000 I do, like, there are days where I'm like, I can't look at my phone.

00:09:17.000 I literally can't...

00:09:18.000 Like, a couple days ago I was looking at something and it was the...

00:09:21.000 It was maybe before the...

00:09:23.000 Maybe two, three days ago.

00:09:24.000 There are days where it's so...

00:09:28.000 It's so like in the red for like cultural or political toxicity.

00:09:35.000 I'm just like, Jesus, I can't.

00:09:36.000 This is like inducing cortisol. 0.97

00:09:40.000 I think that's a good argument also to stay the fuck away from the news and social media for a few days a week. 0.89

00:09:45.000 Yeah. 0.88

00:09:45.000 There have been a few. 0.88

00:09:46.000 You see the people in the past couple days that like Facebook execs being like, we've kind of torn society apart.

00:09:53.000 Didn't mean to!

00:09:54.000 Whoops!

00:09:55.000 Yeah, I saw that one Facebook exec was apologizing for what they've done.

00:09:59.000 They've essentially engineered people to be programmed.

00:10:01.000 Yeah.

00:10:01.000 I mean, we've essentially engineered this thing where you're going to be addicted to it.

00:10:06.000 You're going to be tuning into it constantly.

00:10:07.000 And the things that are going to attract you the most are things that freak you the fuck out.

00:10:10.000 So that's going to take prominence.

00:10:12.000 Yeah.

00:10:13.000 But that, you know, there's a market.

00:10:16.000 There's definitely a market.

00:10:18.000 Definitely a market.

00:10:19.000 But yeah, it's just, it's a bad idea to have a popularity contest to see who controls the nukes.

00:10:25.000 It's a terrible idea, and that's what we have.

00:10:28.000 This is a real example of an old system that really shouldn't exist anymore.

00:10:33.000 I had an idea a couple weeks ago that I was like, I've got to run that by Joe.

00:10:38.000 As a jumping-off point for a conversation.

00:10:41.000 Robot president.

00:10:42.000 Ooh.

00:10:43.000 Do you know what I mean?

00:10:45.000 Yeah.

00:10:46.000 Right.

00:10:46.000 Logical.

00:10:47.000 Super logical.

00:10:48.000 Pure logic.

00:10:49.000 Stats.

00:10:50.000 No emotions.

00:10:51.000 No emotions.

00:10:53.000 Takes all of history.

00:10:55.000 Human history.

00:10:55.000 The 2000 recorded history.

00:10:57.000 2000 years.

00:10:58.000 You know, really 200 years.

00:11:01.000 And takes it all into account.

00:11:03.000 Even takes literature into account.

00:11:06.000 Like, plots.

00:11:07.000 Right.

00:11:08.000 Like, takes Shakespeare no account. 0.99

00:11:09.000 Takes plots, you know, Henry VIII, all that shit. 0.97

00:11:12.000 And then, wouldn't that, isn't that kinda what you want? 0.98

00:11:17.000 Yeah.

00:11:18.000 Like, isn't that kinda what you want?

00:11:19.000 And even if they say, if the robot president says, I've come to this decision, it was 55-45.

00:11:28.000 In favor.

00:11:29.000 Because that's all, like, the older you get, I'm not 100% anything.

00:11:33.000 Like, even, I really love Louie's joke in his last special, which weirdly didn't make any top ten lists for the year.

00:11:42.000 I'm one of those weird things.

00:11:44.000 I listened to it on the plane back from Hawaii a couple weeks ago. 0.98

00:11:47.000 It's fucking great. 0.99

00:11:47.000 It is great. 0.99

00:11:48.000 The last, I watched it actually, the last... 0.98

00:11:51.000 Few bits were fucking killer. 0.99

00:11:54.000 Just killer. 1.00

00:11:54.000 Was that the one about the fingering and the... 1.00

00:11:57.000 Magic Mike.

00:11:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:11:58.000 The fingering.

00:11:59.000 Magic Mike was great and the fingering.

00:12:00.000 Magic Mike, yeah.

00:12:00.000 Do my bidding.

00:12:01.000 God damn it. 1.00

00:12:02.000 That fucking made me laugh. 1.00

00:12:03.000 It was a great bit. 1.00

00:12:04.000 It made me laugh so goddamn hard. 0.71

00:12:06.000 I mean, this is months ago.

00:12:07.000 This is before we knew anything about the guy.

00:12:09.000 I did it right after I knew about him.

00:12:10.000 Yeah, of course.

00:12:12.000 We can get into that in a second.

00:12:14.000 But Louis did the thing about abortion that he opened with.

00:12:18.000 And he's like, if you...

00:12:20.000 They think they're killing babies. 0.93

00:12:22.000 I'd be out every day, if that's what I thought.

00:12:24.000 I just don't see it that way.

00:12:27.000 But it's the idea of, like, there's so many debates that people won't admit to any doubt about.

00:12:34.000 Like, I'm 80-20.

00:12:37.000 20%.

00:12:37.000 Abortion.

00:12:38.000 You know, eh.

00:12:39.000 I would have one, probably.

00:12:42.000 I've never had the privilege.

00:12:45.000 I've never needed to get one.

00:12:47.000 And I think if other people want to get one, cool.

00:12:50.000 But at the same time, I see what your argument is.

00:12:54.000 Yeah, I see both sides.

00:12:55.000 I think there's a certain time where it's a baby.

00:12:58.000 A certain amount of months in where, okay, you're killing a baby now.

00:13:02.000 Yeah.

00:13:03.000 I don't know when it is.

00:13:04.000 I don't know when it is either.

00:13:05.000 But it's got to be at some point.

00:13:08.000 I'll tell you what, it's not the first day when it's like two cells clinging together and they become four cells.

00:13:13.000 Just get rid of those cells and that's a wrap.

00:13:15.000 But you would even admit like, or maybe it is.

00:13:18.000 Or maybe it is, yeah.

00:13:19.000 Or maybe it is.

00:13:20.000 I personally don't.

00:13:22.000 I'm not a scientist.

00:13:23.000 I'm not an obstetrician.

00:13:29.000 If we had like a soul meter in the room and like you woke up one day and your wife is pregnant and it's like 48 days in, honey, honey, look at the soul meter. 0.96

00:13:40.000 There's a new soul.

00:13:42.000 Like, whoa.

00:13:43.000 Okay, no turning back now.

00:13:44.000 Now it's a new soul.

00:13:46.000 Before then, it was just like a nesting area.

00:13:49.000 Like they were ready.

00:13:51.000 It was a prepping area for a new soul.

00:13:53.000 You believe that that's at 48 days.

00:13:55.000 At one day, there's no soul.

00:13:58.000 If you had a meter, if you had a way, obviously we don't.

00:14:01.000 This is in a world with a robot president and a soul meter.

00:14:03.000 And this is also in a world where they've proven the existence of the soul, which is just theoretical.

00:14:08.000 But if you had a thing in the room with you, sort of like when you have a pregnancy tester, like, look at this, it's registering, it's real, it's happening.

00:14:18.000 Like a soul meter.

00:14:20.000 Yeah.

00:14:20.000 So you have a countdown.

00:14:22.000 Okay, it says I'm pregnant. 1.00

00:14:23.000 We have 47 days or we're pieces of shit. 1.00

00:14:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:27.000 Because once the soul comes in... 1.00

00:14:30.000 Uh-huh.

00:14:30.000 Yeah.

00:14:31.000 Then we're murderers, I guess?

00:14:33.000 Something like that, yeah.

00:14:34.000 For sure.

00:14:36.000 Yeah, and there are people that believe it's day one, which is like, I can understand how you think that.

00:14:40.000 I don't even...

00:14:42.000 I wouldn't even say I don't believe that.

00:14:45.000 I just don't know.

00:14:47.000 I just have no...

00:14:47.000 I don't have any feeling one way or the other.

00:14:50.000 If you don't interfere with the process from day one, and it goes all the way through term, you have a human.

00:14:58.000 So how can you make the argument that if you do interfere, it's nothing?

00:15:02.000 Seems like you're stopping a potential human.

00:15:04.000 Something's happening.

00:15:06.000 But it's the foolishness of going like, I am absolutely anything.

00:15:14.000 And just the reductionist idea of it being just a bundle of cells, too.

00:15:19.000 That's sort of preposterous, too.

00:15:21.000 No, it's a bunch of cells that will be a human being.

00:15:24.000 So you can't just deny the potential.

00:15:27.000 I'm not saying that a bunch of cells, I don't think it's any different.

00:15:32.000 I mean, I think if you can show me for sure that it's four cells, I think it's a complete total non-issue.

00:15:37.000 It's when you get into three months, you know, two months in, three months in, like, whoa, okay, what is this?

00:15:43.000 Yeah.

00:15:44.000 Again, to you.

00:15:46.000 That's your barometer.

00:15:47.000 But that's the thing I was saying.

00:15:50.000 You're not allowed to have a nuanced opinion anymore.

00:15:54.000 You just have to be like, no, I am absolutely...

00:15:57.000 You must believe all women. 0.99

00:15:59.000 Did you see that thing I posted the other day about the Me Too backlash is gonna come?

00:16:06.000 No, I didn't see that.

00:16:08.000 How's it gonna come?

00:16:08.000 What kind of backlash?

00:16:10.000 The backlash is...

00:16:12.000 The on-campus thing?

00:16:15.000 Basically, the Obama administration and Joe Biden recommended these guidelines for Title IX. So they recommended these guidelines for Title IX, basically protecting women on college campuses. 0.84

00:16:31.000 But the problem is, they throw out due process.

00:16:36.000 Literally, the idea is if you get accused, you're basically convicted.

00:16:42.000 Guy gets accused, he's thrown out of school.

00:16:45.000 And it's like, well, that's not due process.

00:16:48.000 There were all these things that were like, I'd never thought about before.

00:16:52.000 Because I want to believe, you know what I mean?

00:16:56.000 I want to believe that if a woman... 1.00

00:16:58.000 I don't believe women have much reason to lie about the shit. 1.00

00:17:01.000 See, well, that's not true. 1.00

00:17:02.000 I don't believe that at all.

00:17:03.000 Because I believe there's a lot of women that have grudges. 1.00

00:17:22.000 I just think that it's a minor I think it's just a minor...

00:17:27.000 I don't know if it's minor or not.

00:17:28.000 Anthony Cooney has said something that's really... 0.52

00:17:30.000 He goes, calling all women liars is just as crazy as saying all women say the truth. 1.00

00:17:36.000 Right. 0.98

00:17:36.000 Yeah, that's true. 0.98

00:17:37.000 You're going to have a certain percentage of human beings that are deceptive. 0.99

00:17:41.000 Which is why I say 97% of women are liars. 1.00

00:17:44.000 No, I think it's... 0.98

00:17:45.000 I mean, I don't even want to speculate about what the stats are.

00:17:48.000 The problem is, if you're a person who didn't do anything to someone, and then they're accusing you of doing something to them, and then it ruins your life, that's devastating.

00:17:56.000 And that happens.

00:17:57.000 So, I've been having this conversation.

00:18:00.000 I posted it, and I put on Twitter, hey, if I'm wrong, if this is wrong, yell at me here.

00:18:05.000 Go ahead.

00:18:06.000 Okay.

00:18:06.000 And I was surprised by how few people yelled.

00:18:09.000 No one really got mad, because when you see what the recommendations were, people believe in due process and the rule of law.

00:18:18.000 They should.

00:18:18.000 And people know that mob mentalities are not good, and they're not American.

00:18:25.000 I mean, they're not the spirit of America.

00:18:27.000 They are pretty American, actually, but they're not the letter of America.

00:18:34.000 And it was kind of baffling that Obama and the administration...

00:18:40.000 So what's happening is...

00:18:41.000 So guys are getting kicked out of school.

00:18:44.000 They're getting, you know, what these...

00:18:46.000 The colleges are following the guidelines.

00:18:49.000 And due process is thrown away.

00:18:52.000 Guys get, you know, thrown out of school.

00:18:55.000 And then they sue the school.

00:18:57.000 And guess what?

00:18:58.000 A lot of them are winning.

00:18:59.000 Yeah, of course.

00:19:00.000 Because it's unconstitutional, what the school did.

00:19:02.000 So it's this weird thing of... 0.99

00:19:04.000 It's such a fucking sticky situation. 0.90

00:19:09.000 Because after I posted, a few female friends of mine texted or called me. 0.99

00:19:14.000 And one of them said that she was at NYU and was having sex with a guy. 1.00

00:19:24.000 He tried to put in her ass. 1.00

00:19:28.000 She was like, no. 1.00

00:19:29.000 She said no.

00:19:30.000 He said, can I? She said no.

00:19:34.000 And he did anyway.

00:19:36.000 She just froze and was like stunned, frozen, silent.

00:19:40.000 He finishes.

00:19:41.000 No alcohol?

00:19:43.000 No.

00:19:44.000 And it just becomes, he said, she said.

00:19:46.000 And it's like, what should we do in a society about a situation like that?

00:19:53.000 And I truly don't know. 0.95

00:19:55.000 I truly am like, I have no fucking idea. 0.99

00:19:59.000 Well, if she said no and he did it anyway, that's a real fucking problem. 0.98

00:20:03.000 Yes, exactly. 0.99

00:20:04.000 That's rape. 1.00

00:20:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:05.000 That's rape. 1.00

00:20:06.000 But also, then it just becomes what...

00:20:11.000 It's a he said, she said thing.

00:20:13.000 There's no evidence that she said no.

00:20:17.000 We need better lie detectors.

00:20:17.000 We need real lie detectors.

00:20:19.000 In situations like this where it's one person's word against the other and the result's critical, I don't know if that's really possible, though.

00:20:30.000 I don't know of anything that exists or any technology that's on the pipeline.

00:20:34.000 No, there isn't.

00:20:35.000 So a friend of mine jokingly said that all guys and women need to wear body caps.

00:20:41.000 Like cops.

00:20:43.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:20:44.000 Like that's kind of where it is because, again, it is one of these like, shit, I don't... 0.99

00:20:49.000 It might be. 0.99

00:20:50.000 You kind of think like, oh, yeah, no, it's probably...

00:20:53.000 It's always pretty cut and dry, da, da, da, da.

00:20:55.000 And then you hear a thing like that and you're like...

00:20:58.000 You know what?

00:20:58.000 I don't know what to...

00:20:59.000 But then no one's gonna fuck you. 1.00

00:21:00.000 Should that guy get... 0.99

00:21:02.000 It's gonna be on camera.

00:21:04.000 Right.

00:21:07.000 Now we're into...

00:21:10.000 Because I go, oh guys shouldn't get kicked out of school.

00:21:13.000 There should be due process.

00:21:14.000 Of course, there should be due process. 0.99

00:21:16.000 Then I hear a story like that and I'm like, fuck man, I don't know. 0.99

00:21:20.000 Maybe that guy shouldn't be able to go to school. 1.00

00:21:22.000 I don't know.

00:21:23.000 I don't know.

00:21:24.000 So he lied and he said that didn't happen?

00:21:27.000 She didn't press charges or anything.

00:21:29.000 Oh, okay.

00:21:31.000 Which, by the way, is super common.

00:21:33.000 So when you take into account rape...

00:21:34.000 The number of rapes that get reported versus the number of rapes that don't get reported.

00:21:39.000 It's a drop in the bucket.

00:21:41.000 And when guys go, well, why don't girls report it? 0.61

00:21:44.000 Dude, you don't like going to jury duty.

00:21:48.000 And that's a week. 1.00

00:21:49.000 You think a girl wants to talk about her fucking vagina for a year and a half? 1.00

00:21:53.000 Not just that, the stigma of running around knowing that everybody knows you were raped. 1.00

00:21:58.000 Having that feeling where people are judging you or staring at you or talking about you for nothing that you did.

00:22:04.000 No, nothing. 0.98

00:22:05.000 It's like literally as these things happen Because you read these, a lot of the times it feels like the choice for women is, as it's happening, it's like, fuck, I have to make my life about this now. 0.96

00:22:19.000 My whole life has to be about this for at least a year and a half. 0.99

00:22:23.000 Cops, lawyers, fucking court dates. 0.99

00:22:27.000 Just like a nightmare. 1.00

00:22:28.000 A fucking nightmare. 1.00

00:22:30.000 That you likely did nothing wrong. 1.00

00:22:33.000 And now it's like getting in a...

00:22:47.000 Yeah.

00:22:48.000 Yeah.

00:23:03.000 I mean...

00:23:04.000 Due process is significant, though.

00:23:07.000 It's gigantic.

00:23:09.000 I know.

00:23:09.000 You have to have it.

00:23:10.000 I know.

00:23:10.000 Look at what happened with the UVA case in Rolling Stone magazine.

00:23:14.000 They printed this stupid fucking lie, this crazy story that really becomes a problem because there's real rape going on all the time on campuses. 1.00

00:23:24.000 That's happening for real. 1.00

00:23:26.000 I don't believe that that girl wasn't raped. 1.00

00:23:27.000 The UVA story?

00:23:28.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:23:29.000 I believe that she was raped. 0.54

00:23:30.000 I don't think...

00:23:33.000 It was the 15th, like the way something happened.

00:23:37.000 Are you sure?

00:23:38.000 What do you mean?

00:23:38.000 Why do you think that?

00:23:39.000 Because I think they proved that she wasn't even there, and that she was never in that fraternity. 0.99

00:23:43.000 Oh, there was no Roger or any of that shit? 0.99

00:23:45.000 No, the people were all fake. 0.99

00:23:46.000 Then I maybe didn't read it up.

00:23:48.000 Any follow up?

00:23:49.000 I think that there's so much evidence pointing to the fact that it was all made up that there's very little possibility that something actually happened to her.

00:23:57.000 I think they've completely dismissed that. 0.99

00:23:59.000 I think they think it was just a girl who just made some crazy shit up. 0.99

00:24:02.000 Versus the mattress girl thing. 1.00

00:24:04.000 The mattress girl, one, was a weird one because she definitely had sex with that guy and she definitely wanted to have sex with that guy because she was messaging him about sex and about, you know, I think she said something about bring condoms and you're going to put it in my butt. 1.00

00:24:18.000 Just a bunch of crazy shit. 1.00

00:24:20.000 It was sex talk back and forth. 1.00

00:24:21.000 And then she just decided this is an amazing way to be a martyr and to be a victim and to bring that fucking mattress everywhere, including at her commencement speech. 1.00

00:24:33.000 That's a different sort of case. 0.99

00:24:34.000 And that kid is now suing.

00:24:36.000 That kid is now suing that university, and I hope he wins.

00:24:39.000 Yeah, again, I hope he wins, because I think due process is as important.

00:24:46.000 It's literally a tie for first between protecting women and protecting the Constitution. 1.00

00:24:56.000 Yeah, I don't even, the thing that bothers me about even talking about UVA or Columbia is it makes the story about lying women, which is just fucking not, they're the outliers. 1.00

00:25:10.000 Yes, they're the outliers. 0.89

00:25:12.000 By an extreme, because they're the outliers of the people that come forward.

00:25:16.000 Absolutely.

00:25:16.000 You can't just completely ignore them in the equation, right?

00:25:18.000 Well, that's why you need due process.

00:25:20.000 Yeah, that is exactly why you need.

00:25:21.000 And you know, we also have to stop thinking out of it as men and women.

00:25:25.000 It's human beings.

00:25:26.000 Yeah.

00:25:26.000 Human beings involved in these situations, and we have to treat them like eagles.

00:25:30.000 Do you know the story about Occidental College in L.A.? Which story?

00:25:34.000 Boy and girl get drunk, text each other back and forth, I'm coming over, do you have condoms?

00:25:39.000 Yeah, come on over. 0.88

00:25:40.000 She comes over, or they have sex with each other, and then her friends convince her that because she was drunk, she could not consent, and that it's rape. 0.69

00:25:49.000 Remember, that was a big thing for a while, that if you're not drunk, you can't consent. 0.92

00:25:53.000 That was like, for a year or two, they tried to push that until they realized, oh my god, that makes everyone a rapist.

00:25:59.000 I mean, having said that, I think that the... 0.99

00:26:03.000 Part that alcohol plays in this shit... 1.00

00:26:05.000 Giant. 1.00

00:26:06.000 ...is so fucking massive and nobody ever brings it up. 0.99

00:26:10.000 It's giant. 0.98

00:26:10.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:26:11.000 If alcohol was complicit in all the things that people did while drunk the same way the prescription drugs...

00:26:15.000 Out of business.

00:26:16.000 Yeah, they'd be out of business.

00:26:17.000 Out of business. 0.77

00:26:17.000 So this guy and this gal have some sex and it's consensual, 100%. 0.77

00:26:22.000 But after the fact, her friends tell her, you couldn't consent because you were drunk.

00:26:26.000 Yeah.

00:26:27.000 Even though he was drunk, too.

00:26:28.000 Uh-huh.

00:26:29.000 So, um...

00:26:32.000 People get told.

00:26:33.000 Authorities get involved.

00:26:34.000 He gets kicked out of school.

00:26:35.000 She does not.

00:26:37.000 They don't call it rape.

00:26:39.000 They don't press charges.

00:26:40.000 He didn't do anything actually wrong in terms of the letter of the law, since they're both intoxicated and willing and consensual.

00:26:46.000 But they kick him out of college. 1.00

00:26:48.000 And so he's like, well, what the fuck, man? 1.00

00:26:50.000 She's drunk too, so I got raped as well. 1.00

00:26:52.000 Do you understand that? 0.98

00:26:53.000 It can't just be the man that is doing the raping if you're both intoxicated. 0.99

00:26:57.000 How the fuck am I supposed to be able to consent? 0.96

00:26:59.000 So the idea is that this is as much of a male versus female thing. 0.99

00:27:06.000 I had a conversation with a female friend of mine recently, and the conclusion, one of the conclusions was, men don't see women as humans.

00:27:20.000 Meaning, they're like...

00:27:21.000 Less.

00:27:24.000 Yes, it's other.

00:27:26.000 It's other.

00:27:27.000 It's like, you're not...

00:27:29.000 I'm not saying you're not a human, but you're not a man.

00:27:33.000 You know what I mean?

00:27:34.000 Like, there's something of like, the way men treat women is not equal.

00:27:40.000 It's just, it's other.

00:27:42.000 It's like you're in this other category.

00:27:44.000 Well, they don't understand them that much because they're not one of them.

00:27:47.000 And if they don't have a good relationship with their mother, it's even worse.

00:27:50.000 Especially if they were raised by their dad alone.

00:27:53.000 Those guys are the sketchiest guys of all.

00:27:55.000 Yeah.

00:27:56.000 I'm generalizing, honestly.

00:27:57.000 I can't even think of one guy like that, but yeah.

00:27:58.000 Meaning I don't think I know any guys like that, but yeah.

00:28:01.000 I know a guy like that.

00:28:03.000 And sometimes even guys that were only raised by their mom are sketchy if their mom hates women.

00:28:07.000 But the whole thing is, I mean, look, it's just real hard when you start doing this men and women thing, right?

00:28:16.000 Because you're prone to generalizations.

00:28:18.000 There's no getting away from it. 0.99

00:28:19.000 But Men want sex from women, so they're pursuing women. 0.99

00:28:24.000 And do you know any men that you're friends with that you see over time that become more and more bitter towards women because they're getting rejected over and over? 0.96

00:28:33.000 And they associate women with bad feelings.

00:28:35.000 They associate women with negativity.

00:28:37.000 I think men look at women like they're trying to score on a team.

00:28:43.000 Yeah.

00:28:43.000 Dude, it's first base, second base, third base.

00:28:46.000 It's literally built into the language of how we...

00:28:50.000 It is a thing that guys conquer.

00:28:53.000 So it ends up being... 1.00

00:28:56.000 I likened in the past to Saudi Arabia, where fucking towel heads, because they won't give us the fucking oil. 1.00

00:29:05.000 No, they don't like you. 1.00

00:29:09.000 They don't want to give you... 0.89

00:29:10.000 But that doesn't mean that they're shitty. 0.97

00:29:14.000 Anymore than it means you're shitty if you don't want this fucking kombucha like you just don't your body doesn't want it doesn't mean that her body doesn't want you like there's but it makes guys it hurts their feelings and it makes them crazy and it also deals with these evolutionary mechanisms that are designed to make sure that we breed It becomes a significant issue for you. 0.99

00:29:34.000 You want to figure out, how do I get this gal to like me to the point where she wants to have sex with me? 1.00

00:29:39.000 Oh, I've got to buy the right cars. 0.57

00:29:40.000 I've got to wear the right watch.

00:29:42.000 I've got to do this and do that and say the right things and be a gentleman and hold open doors and all these things that we do.

00:29:47.000 They're like, well, why do men hold open doors?

00:29:49.000 Do it to be a gentleman.

00:29:50.000 No.

00:29:50.000 To show that they're a preferential mate.

00:29:53.000 That's what they're doing. 1.00

00:29:54.000 They're trying to con you into taking that dick. 1.00

00:29:57.000 Yes. 1.00

00:29:57.000 It speaks to your bit about invention. 1.00

00:30:01.000 The thing that your invention thing now is that the reason the thing of like why women haven't invented shit is because they don't have to. 1.00

00:30:11.000 They don't fucking have to. 0.99

00:30:13.000 It's also the way their mind works. 1.00

00:30:14.000 You know, the hunter-gatherer mindset.

00:30:16.000 It's very different with the females in the tribe versus the males.

00:30:19.000 And we're still dealing with the echoes and all that.

00:30:22.000 By the way, for people that are shallow, we're talking about misogyny right now.

00:30:28.000 Just so you know.

00:30:29.000 We're talking, in theory, about misogyny.

00:30:32.000 These are not views that either of us hold.

00:30:34.000 In fact, the opposite.

00:30:36.000 And I have all daughters.

00:30:38.000 I'm used to being around little girls.

00:30:40.000 I know about women more now. 1.00

00:30:45.000 I understand them than I ever did.

00:30:47.000 How would you...

00:30:51.000 How different would your behavior have been 20 years ago if you had the wisdom you have now?

00:30:57.000 It would be way different.

00:30:58.000 It would be way different.

00:31:01.000 I never did anything horrible.

00:31:05.000 My record is clean.

00:31:07.000 I stop and think about assault.

00:31:09.000 But what I am...

00:31:11.000 What I am more aware of now is the inner workings of like a female from child to adulthood. 0.99

00:31:19.000 I understand that they're just so...

00:31:23.000 There's a different evolutionary path for their sex, for their gender. 1.00

00:31:28.000 There's a whole thing going on that they want to protect the nest.

00:31:32.000 They want to find a man.

00:31:33.000 There's a lot of guys that look at a girl who wants a successful guy. 1.00

00:31:37.000 Like, oh, she's fucking shallow. 1.00

00:31:38.000 She just wants a bunch of shit. 1.00

00:31:39.000 She wants someone to pay for everything. 1.00

00:31:41.000 There is an evolutionary path where the woman is looking for a man who shows that he is capable of taking care of things while she is held up Being pregnant and taking care of the young. 0.72

00:31:53.000 It is a natural instinct.

00:31:55.000 It is undeniable.

00:31:56.000 And there are some women that are super strong and super motivated and they don't have that instinct. 1.00

00:32:02.000 Their instinct is to just have a kid, give it to a nanny, get back to work as quick as possible. 0.99

00:32:06.000 But I'll tell you what, I bet their husband's tall.

00:32:10.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:32:10.000 There's still those things of, like, the evolutionary shit that you can't get rid of. 0.99

00:32:15.000 Your body wants to fuck a tall guy. 1.00

00:32:17.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:32:18.000 For protection, all that shit. 1.00

00:32:20.000 For all that shit. 1.00

00:32:21.000 Money, height, strength. 1.00

00:32:24.000 Provisions.

00:32:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:32:25.000 And the ability to overcome...

00:32:28.000 Significant situations like whenever there's a like a guy that falls apart under stress is one of the most unattractive things to women ever because There was a study where like that I think Whitney and I have talked about where guys Women don't like when guys cry in front of them. 0.91

00:32:44.000 They say they want an emotional guy What they mean is I want you to listen to my emotions. 0.95

00:32:49.000 Yeah, I don't want you to be emotional I need you to be a fucking marine Yeah, and if you're gonna be emotional and cry about things, it better be like a brave display of emotions. 0.99

00:32:58.000 Yes, one of your fallen brothers! 0.99

00:33:01.000 Yeah, like a baseball player's retiring.

00:33:04.000 Some physical thing about the passage of time in brotherhood.

00:33:10.000 That's it.

00:33:11.000 Yeah, maybe that's it.

00:33:13.000 Maybe your daughter's birthday party and you're so happy.

00:33:15.000 Yeah, that's the portfolio.

00:33:18.000 Yeah, but the ability to respond to pressure is a giant one.

00:33:23.000 The ability to provide is a giant one.

00:33:26.000 Physical features, like having strong features, having strong genetics.

00:33:31.000 The woman has to know, like, genetically. 1.00

00:33:33.000 It has to feel like she's being protected.

00:33:36.000 And then there's some women that don't like that at all. 1.00

00:33:38.000 There's some women that like bitch men. 1.00

00:33:40.000 And we know those women. 1.00

00:33:42.000 And they're the really domineering, powerful women. 1.00

00:33:45.000 And they have these men that are, like, quiet.

00:33:48.000 Retiring, yeah.

00:34:07.000 Imagine if you're a man, and you're picking a woman, and you have to decide when you're meeting this woman, is this chick going to be able to keep it together with me while I'm held up, literally held up for a year, like a whole year?

00:34:19.000 For one year, I'm going to be stuck in this situation, and then from then, the next 18 years, I'm going to be responsible for the infant that comes out of this union.

00:34:30.000 That's so different than our thought process.

00:34:32.000 It's so different.

00:34:33.000 The consequences are so much different.

00:34:35.000 Well, men want... 0.93

00:34:36.000 Men only think about... 0.99

00:34:38.000 To me, men want sex. 0.98

00:34:41.000 They don't think about... 0.95

00:34:42.000 They literally... 0.97

00:34:42.000 And then it's just black. 0.97

00:34:45.000 Sure. 0.60

00:34:45.000 It's like sex and then just like black into the distance. 0.60

00:34:48.000 Infinite blackness. 0.99

00:34:49.000 Whereas women do think... 1.00

00:34:50.000 Which is why it's a... 0.83

00:34:53.000 A more intricate decision having sex with somebody. 0.95

00:34:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:57.000 Because it is like the long-term shit. 1.00

00:34:59.000 Whereas we just... 1.00

00:35:01.000 Wait, a baby comes out of this?

00:35:03.000 I'm not even...

00:35:04.000 That's all I'm looking for.

00:35:05.000 Since when?

00:35:06.000 Just looking to come.

00:35:07.000 Yeah.

00:35:08.000 Women are looking for sex too, but they also, a good percentage of them at least, are looking to be a mom. 0.98

00:35:15.000 It's just something that they want.

00:35:18.000 It's a lot of...

00:35:18.000 There's a reason why there's 7 billion people.

00:35:20.000 It's not because being a mom is so completely unattractive.

00:35:23.000 They want to do it.

00:35:24.000 I want to talk about some of the stuff with the sexual harassment stuff is the stuff that people are not...

00:35:32.000 is like the alcohol thing.

00:35:34.000 Right.

00:35:34.000 Like, I've never thought drinking around your co-workers was smart.

00:35:40.000 No. 0.99

00:35:41.000 Like, literally, I'm like, why the fuck would you want... 0.98

00:35:43.000 Rap parties, I try to get out of as soon as possible. 0.99

00:35:48.000 I'll stay for, like, a beer.

00:35:50.000 And I don't even understand why a company would...

00:35:56.000 Have it.

00:35:57.000 I mean, I guess it's good for morale.

00:35:59.000 Yeah, they're not thinking in terms of the potential hazards.

00:36:04.000 They're just thinking, oh, it'd be a fun way for everybody to cut loose.

00:36:08.000 A buddy of mine's producer of his show, and he basically, a couple weeks ago, was like, we need to have rules for engagement.

00:36:15.000 So he's made it so like...

00:36:18.000 There are going to be no meetings where there's only two people.

00:36:21.000 Wow. 1.00

00:36:22.000 Shit where it's like, no, no, no, no. 1.00

00:36:24.000 What about you and a dude? 1.00

00:36:25.000 I think there cannot be...

00:36:32.000 I think two dudes can meet.

00:36:33.000 What about Kevin Spacey?

00:36:36.000 Yeah, again.

00:36:37.000 Just trying to come.

00:36:38.000 He's definitely not trying to make babies.

00:36:39.000 Which is why he was like three people.

00:36:42.000 He's a perfect example because he's just trying to come.

00:36:46.000 He's definitely not trying to make babies.

00:36:48.000 A girl DMed me the other day talking about how Kevin Spacey harassed her. 0.77

00:36:51.000 Really?

00:36:52.000 Yep.

00:36:53.000 Yes. 1.00

00:36:53.000 He's trying to fuck women too? 1.00

00:36:54.000 Yep. 1.00

00:36:55.000 He just wanted, he liked the power.

00:36:57.000 He liked the action, it seems like.

00:36:59.000 Wow, that's interesting.

00:37:02.000 Yeah.

00:37:02.000 Did you ever see his brother?

00:37:03.000 No.

00:37:04.000 Oh man, it's a trip.

00:37:05.000 His brother dresses like a combination of Ringo Starr and Elton John and just is a completely out there guy and just talks about the horrors of Kevin growing up with his insanely abusive dad.

00:37:19.000 And it was Kevin's dad, too?

00:37:20.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:37:22.000 Just horrible shit. 1.00

00:37:22.000 I've never even heard of the guy. 1.00

00:37:24.000 Rape and just awful things. 0.99

00:37:26.000 Just awful, awful abuse.

00:37:28.000 Well, yeah, that was like the thing.

00:37:28.000 This is his brother.

00:37:29.000 Wow.

00:37:30.000 Yeah, his brother dresses like that all the time.

00:37:32.000 Like a Rod Stewart.

00:37:33.000 His brother's Ron Wood.

00:37:34.000 My goodness.

00:37:36.000 Yeah.

00:37:37.000 Wow.

00:37:37.000 Yeah.

00:37:38.000 That's his brother.

00:37:40.000 And it's just... 1.00

00:37:41.000 They just got fucking abused when they were children. 1.00

00:37:46.000 Just fucking abused. 1.00

00:37:47.000 Some monster created them. 1.00

00:37:49.000 Yeah, that's what...

00:37:50.000 What's his name?

00:37:52.000 Morgan Spurlock yesterday.

00:37:54.000 Talking about...

00:37:55.000 Did you see his thing?

00:37:56.000 I heard about it.

00:37:58.000 I heard about it this morning.

00:37:58.000 You should read it because it's like pretty like...

00:38:03.000 He owns up to stuff, which I get that impulse, because I don't have any big stains on my record, but I'm like...

00:38:12.000 Well, he had someone accuse him of rape in college.

00:38:17.000 Yes, and he also settled with the girl he worked with.

00:38:19.000 From a sexual harassment. 0.99

00:38:20.000 Sex pants or hot pants. 0.99

00:38:22.000 That's it? 0.99

00:38:23.000 In front of everybody.

00:38:24.000 Yeah.

00:38:25.000 But he was like, I basically would just...

00:38:27.000 He did it... 0.99

00:38:28.000 Like, sex pants! 0.98

00:38:31.000 Like, in front of everyone. 0.97

00:38:33.000 And so when she was quitting, she basically said, like, I'm gonna tell people.

00:38:38.000 Right. 0.99

00:38:39.000 That you call me sex pants. 0.99

00:38:40.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:41.000 Yeah, you can't do that.

00:38:42.000 But you can do that to you.

00:38:43.000 But in the confession, everybody sort of...

00:38:46.000 Puts their excuse in the confession, or a lot of people do.

00:38:51.000 It's kind of like the I have daughters thing.

00:38:54.000 Right, right.

00:38:55.000 As a father of daughters.

00:38:57.000 Yes.

00:38:57.000 Oh.

00:38:58.000 Yeah.

00:38:59.000 Well, in that case...

00:39:00.000 Well, now I understand.

00:39:02.000 But he put in that he was abused, and that he's an alcoholic, and all this stuff that was like...

00:39:08.000 I don't know, man.

00:39:10.000 Maybe that's a different statement. 0.99

00:39:12.000 No one will just go like, I fucked up. 0.98

00:39:15.000 People hate admitting That they were wrong. 0.84

00:39:19.000 Even in these apologies goes, for the people I may have damaged.

00:39:26.000 There's no may.

00:39:27.000 You did it.

00:39:29.000 It happened.

00:39:31.000 I don't know if they do it for legal reasons, but a lot of the time it's like, for any anguish I may have caused, that puts it on them.

00:39:44.000 Where it's like, no, you did it.

00:39:46.000 Depending on what the action is, right?

00:39:49.000 So, like, if he's talking about the rape in college, you know, you read the story, the way he wrote it, it's like, okay, you kind of did it when she said don't do it.

00:40:00.000 That's what it seems like.

00:40:01.000 And then she started crying.

00:40:03.000 I don't...

00:40:03.000 The way he told it...

00:40:05.000 Yeah, it's not very specific.

00:40:07.000 It's like it...

00:40:10.000 Again, this goes to the rules.

00:40:13.000 I've been doing this joke on stage.

00:40:16.000 I have a nightclub routine that I do, Joe.

00:40:19.000 You've got to come see it.

00:40:21.000 10.15 tonight.

00:40:22.000 I would love for you to come.

00:40:23.000 In fact, would you like to introduce me?

00:40:25.000 Oh my god.

00:40:28.000 Sex is the most consequential thing we can do with our bodies, yet we can't talk about it beforehand.

00:40:33.000 So we just have to go like, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

00:40:35.000 If I'm wrong, I'm going to jail?

00:40:36.000 Sweet.

00:40:37.000 It's this huge thing, but we can't talk about it.

00:40:43.000 But it wasn't a huge thing in terms of the communication aspect of it until recently. 0.98

00:40:48.000 I mean, in the 1970s, the 1980s, people did a lot of talking before they fucked. 0.94

00:40:53.000 No, but I also think that women didn't have as many rights. 1.00

00:40:59.000 I think now that women are like, wait a minute. 1.00

00:41:01.000 But women want sex too, right? 1.00

00:41:03.000 Agreed. 1.00

00:41:03.000 So if a man and women look at each other and they start making out, next thing you know, they're grabbing dicks. 1.00

00:41:07.000 Yes. 1.00

00:41:08.000 I'm of the mind, though, that women... 1.00

00:41:12.000 It's in my understanding of women's nature that they want mystery and they want spontaneity as part of the package of sex. 1.00

00:41:22.000 That's what literally turns them on.

00:41:25.000 Mystery.

00:41:26.000 Like a mask?

00:41:27.000 Like a cape?

00:41:28.000 You got one?

00:41:29.000 You got one?

00:41:30.000 I should get a cape. 0.99

00:41:30.000 Remember Attell's old joke that women love mystery, which is why whenever my girlfriend leaves the room, I take a shit in one of her shoes. 0.99

00:41:36.000 LAUGHTER Hotel literally has a great one-liner for every occasion. 0.99

00:41:41.000 For everything.

00:41:43.000 He's so funny.

00:41:48.000 So, it's built in to want mystery, so we literally can't talk about it beforehand. 0.55

00:41:56.000 You ever try to talk, you ever go, you can't say, hey, I'd like to go have sex now.

00:42:00.000 You have to go like, let's go look at my stamps or whatever, you know what I mean? 0.72

00:42:03.000 Whatever euphemistic thing is.

00:42:05.000 Hey, come up and look at my mattress.

00:42:07.000 I got an egg cart.

00:42:09.000 Whatever.

00:42:10.000 Whatever your ruse to get her up there. 0.87

00:42:13.000 Because you can't say you want to have sex because it's about shame.

00:42:16.000 A lot of it's the mystery thing, but then there's also women can't openly go like, yes, I would like that also.

00:42:22.000 Yeah, but after you date him for a while, you can.

00:42:24.000 Yes.

00:42:25.000 Agreed.

00:42:26.000 Yeah.

00:42:26.000 Once you've done it a couple of times, then it's like, hey, this will be fun.

00:42:30.000 Let's do this.

00:42:31.000 Yes.

00:42:31.000 I think it takes longer than a few times.

00:42:35.000 Really?

00:42:35.000 To get there.

00:42:36.000 Maybe that's you, bro.

00:42:37.000 Maybe that's me.

00:42:37.000 That's not me, bro.

00:42:40.000 I've always been weak, bro.

00:42:42.000 You know me. 1.00

00:42:43.000 I ain't nothing but a bitch, bro. 1.00

00:42:45.000 I wonder, man. 1.00

00:42:46.000 I wonder how we're going to get past this culturally.

00:42:48.000 I don't, and that's, so what I've been talking to people about is like, so there needs to be rules of engagement, and like, I think guys would be fine with scheduling it.

00:43:00.000 The thing about the consent, because there was a thing in that article about that thing that they used to have at Antioch College like 20 years ago where it was like, I want to touch your breasts now. 0.56

00:43:09.000 Yes!

00:43:11.000 I know.

00:43:12.000 I know.

00:43:13.000 But I believe guys would be fine with that.

00:43:19.000 I really do.

00:43:20.000 Because I think guys are like, wait, I'm going to get to touch Boop at 12.06?

00:43:25.000 Great. 0.89

00:43:25.000 Yeah, but that whole, like, can I touch your breasts now? 0.89

00:43:29.000 Yes. 0.94

00:43:29.000 Can I take your pants off? 0.94

00:43:31.000 Not yet.

00:43:31.000 Okay.

00:43:32.000 And then you go back to make it now.

00:43:33.000 Can I take your pants off now? 1.00

00:43:34.000 Okay.

00:43:35.000 Yeah.

00:43:35.000 You ever see that video?

00:43:36.000 Yeah.

00:43:37.000 Yeah, it's preposterous.

00:43:38.000 Yes, but what other answer is there?

00:43:40.000 This poor guy.

00:43:41.000 The guy in the video, they make it like the lowest test guy available, who just like this weird beta male.

00:43:50.000 The whole thing is just so strange.

00:43:51.000 I know!

00:43:52.000 What are you trying to do?

00:43:53.000 But if you look at this, you know, scientifically, what's the answer? 1.00

00:43:58.000 Gotta get to know people better before you fuck them. 1.00

00:44:00.000 That's a big one. 1.00

00:44:02.000 Like, the courtship, like, period should be longer.

00:44:06.000 I agree.

00:44:06.000 I mean, I've been implementing that in my own life where I'm like, I don't, cause I know once I sleep with somebody, I'll feel guilty, Yeah, that's a weird one, right?

00:44:38.000 You know what I mean?

00:44:39.000 Where you're like, ah, I didn't, yeah, I guess I'll go back to your place.

00:44:44.000 Let's do it.

00:44:44.000 And then you don't even, you know you don't want to see him again.

00:44:47.000 Oh, that's the worst.

00:44:48.000 You know you don't want to see him again, but they're like going for it.

00:44:51.000 You're like, okay, I guess.

00:44:53.000 The problem is once you're engaged, once you're locked and loaded and you're there and you're like, probably take this to the end.

00:45:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:45:00.000 I'd be a fool. 0.99

00:45:01.000 I'd be a fool not to. 1.00

00:45:03.000 Disrespectful. 1.00

00:45:04.000 Stare a gift horse in the mouth. 1.00

00:45:06.000 What the fuck does that even mean? 1.00

00:45:07.000 A gift horse? 0.99

00:45:08.000 Is it like looking at a horse's teeth?

00:45:09.000 Is that the idea behind that?

00:45:10.000 Like to make sure it's not too old?

00:45:12.000 Yeah.

00:45:12.000 What a weird expression.

00:45:14.000 Stare a gift horse in the mouth. 0.65

00:45:16.000 Yes.

00:45:16.000 How is that one still around?

00:45:18.000 Who the fuck is looking at horses? 0.99

00:45:20.000 Yeah, well, there's a lot of sayings from horse types. 1.00

00:45:23.000 Yeah, that's a big one.

00:45:26.000 Yeah, but so there is the thing of like, just wait.

00:45:29.000 But again, that's where male nature comes in.

00:45:32.000 Right.

00:45:33.000 Male nature doesn't like waiting. 0.74

00:45:35.000 Male nature does not like waiting.

00:45:36.000 Male nature does not like patience.

00:45:38.000 Male nature also is... 0.97

00:45:41.000 Testosterone itself...

00:45:44.000 Begets risky behavior.

00:45:46.000 Oh, yeah.

00:45:46.000 And a lot of it...

00:45:49.000 Some of it ends up in crime. 1.00

00:45:51.000 Some of it ends up in fucking... 0.99

00:45:53.000 In, you know, electricity. 0.99

00:45:56.000 Or the Wright brothers.

00:45:58.000 You know what I mean?

00:45:59.000 Yeah.

00:46:00.000 And it's like just harnessing it for the right...

00:46:03.000 Thing.

00:46:05.000 You know, it's like the...

00:46:06.000 Because the male character is...

00:46:09.000 It is a lot of it is... 1.00

00:46:11.000 Some of the shit is toxic. 1.00

00:46:12.000 Well, testosterone, in a lot of ways, is power. 1.00

00:46:16.000 And with power comes responsibility.

00:46:19.000 But I say that, I don't mean it's power like that estrogen isn't power.

00:46:23.000 I mean, there's fuel to testosterone.

00:46:26.000 When you have testosterone...

00:46:28.000 What it's doing is it's providing you a certain amount of ambition, a certain amount of desire, a certain amount of lust, and that's the mechanism that a lot of men use to get things going in their life.

00:46:41.000 And some guys don't. 0.99

00:46:42.000 I know a lot of men who are aggressive testosterone males who are just chasing pussy and not doing anything with their life. 0.99

00:46:50.000 And they've become addicted to that, and it's become a major distraction, and usually their career suffers. 0.99

00:46:56.000 Yeah.

00:46:57.000 Usually those guys, their career is in a shitter.

00:47:00.000 I think we may be thinking of the same person.

00:47:02.000 Probably.

00:47:05.000 We know a lot of guys like that.

00:47:06.000 I was talking to my friend Michelle Wolf who's got an HBO special that's really good.

00:47:14.000 Is that the nice ladies? 0.99

00:47:15.000 I heard that's really good. 1.00

00:47:20.000 We talk about this shit constantly and I was like, men want power, right? 1.00

00:47:26.000 Men want to dominate. 1.00

00:47:28.000 Like, that's our thing.

00:47:29.000 Like, I'm gonna expand the...

00:47:30.000 I gotta, you know, it's like, that's capitalism, that's, uh, that's, uh, empire, that's everything.

00:47:37.000 It's just expand, expand, expand, power, power, power, power.

00:47:39.000 And it's like, men want...

00:47:41.000 It's the Scarface thing. 0.57

00:47:42.000 First you get the money, then you get power, then you get the women. 1.00

00:47:46.000 And I was like, what do...

00:47:47.000 Do women want power? 1.00

00:47:48.000 And she's like, no.

00:47:50.000 They don't really...

00:47:51.000 Women want control. 1.00

00:47:54.000 If that makes sense.

00:47:54.000 Like, they don't want Empire.

00:47:56.000 They want you to...

00:48:00.000 They want to be able to depend on you.

00:48:03.000 Right.

00:48:04.000 For...

00:48:05.000 I think fear is fine.

00:48:07.000 Depending on you, again, we're going back to those natural instincts that a mother needs the father to be the one who's going to watch over her and provide.

00:48:16.000 And that sounds sexist, right?

00:48:19.000 People don't like that.

00:48:20.000 Well, the woman doesn't need a man to provide anymore. 1.00

00:48:21.000 I understand that.

00:48:22.000 You're right.

00:48:23.000 You don't, for the most part.

00:48:24.000 I'm not saying that women aren't equal to men in terms of their ability to do things.

00:48:27.000 But what I am saying is there are certain inherent instincts that we have that are left over. 0.99

00:48:33.000 There's also a lot of weird shit, right? 0.99

00:48:37.000 With this domination and submissive thing that men and women have, there's also rape fantasies. 1.00

00:48:42.000 There's also weird S&M shit. 0.99

00:48:45.000 There's a lot of weird stuff that people have. 0.98

00:48:46.000 Yes, that's just built into the operating system.

00:48:50.000 Right, and your operating system is probably going to be different than Jamie's and different than mine.

00:48:54.000 There's massive variables to try to find them.

00:48:57.000 I used to date a girl, and she used to want me to just choke her all the time. 1.00

00:49:02.000 She would grab my hand and put it on her neck. 0.97

00:49:04.000 I would think more girls, because of your size, would want that. 1.00

00:49:08.000 Whenever I see a girl, like, you never see a tiny girl with just a monster of a dude?

00:49:14.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:49:14.000 And I always want to say to the women, like, oh, you like getting fucking railed, huh? 0.99

00:49:20.000 You don't like, you fucking like to get, you like to almost get murdered every time, huh? 1.00

00:49:25.000 That's your thing. 1.00

00:49:26.000 Some girls like that. 1.00

00:49:28.000 It's weird.

00:49:29.000 Yeah, like, there's a ton of girls that like that. 1.00

00:49:31.000 And again, and I think we've talked about this before, it's because girls never really saw porn before 1998, 99. So now they're seeing the full, like, all the options, and they're going, oh, yeah, Chogun's fun. 0.77

00:49:46.000 Oh, that's what I want. 0.97

00:49:47.000 I want someone to spit in my mouth. 1.00

00:49:49.000 Grab my fucking hair. 1.00

00:49:51.000 Wow! 1.00

00:49:52.000 Yeah.

00:49:52.000 Because otherwise they learn about that stuff while they're doing it.

00:49:55.000 Like a guy spanks them and they're like, yeah, spank me again. 1.00

00:49:57.000 Yeah, like, oh, but no.

00:49:58.000 I mean, wait, remember when you spanked me? 0.96

00:50:01.000 Well, I want you to spank me because I want you to spank me. 1.00

00:50:03.000 I don't want you to spank me because you want to spank me. 1.00

00:50:05.000 Yes.

00:50:06.000 And it's like, okay, wait.

00:50:07.000 Big difference.

00:50:08.000 What?

00:50:11.000 Okay. 1.00

00:50:11.000 I dated a girl once who told me she wanted me to rape her. 1.00

00:50:14.000 And I said, okay. 1.00

00:50:15.000 But if you want me to rape you, then it's not raping you. 0.99

00:50:18.000 And she goes, and she was like, she was like halfway joking around. 1.00

00:50:22.000 She was like halfway joking around, but she had some weird shit. 1.00

00:50:25.000 Like she wanted me to grab the back of her head and force it on my dick. 1.00

00:50:29.000 Like she liked that. 1.00

00:50:31.000 She got off on that.

00:50:32.000 And I go, yeah, but the only way that I can do that is if I know that you want me to do that.

00:50:38.000 Like, I can't... 0.99

00:50:39.000 I can't rape you. 1.00

00:50:40.000 I can do it, but it's not... 0.99

00:50:42.000 I'm not, like... 0.98

00:50:44.000 Whenever girls want rough shit, I'm like, yeah, I can get there. 0.99

00:50:49.000 Right, but here's the thing. 1.00

00:50:51.000 The saying you want someone to rape, the problem with the rape thing is if we just go through this, are you going to fight back? 0.53

00:50:58.000 Are you going to say no? 0.85

00:50:59.000 If I keep going, that's still rape. 1.00

00:51:01.000 Even though you said you wanted me to rape you, if you say no and keep going, ultimately it just wound up staying the way it was. 0.90

00:51:07.000 We never went fully into the rape fantasy because I was super perturbed by it. 0.93

00:51:12.000 I was like, this could go terrible.

00:51:14.000 Yeah.

00:51:15.000 Like, you can't just...

00:51:16.000 And also, I don't want ever to get sexually aroused by that.

00:51:21.000 I don't want to be connected with that. 0.99

00:51:24.000 Because I think that, like, I stayed a girl, and she used to like to rub her feet on my dick, and for a while I had, like, this foot fetish thing going on. 0.99

00:51:30.000 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:51:31.000 Yeah.

00:51:31.000 And, like, I had it for years.

00:51:33.000 But she started it.

00:51:34.000 Yeah.

00:51:35.000 Well, she was into it.

00:51:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:36.000 She would, like, suck on my toes and shit. 1.00

00:51:38.000 She was a freak. 1.00

00:51:40.000 But that thing became like a sexually arousing thing to me. 0.96

00:51:44.000 I'd look at girls' feet and I would get excited by them.

00:51:47.000 For years.

00:51:48.000 Yeah.

00:51:49.000 If you had a girl who wanted you to smack her around. 1.00

00:51:53.000 Yeah.

00:51:53.000 And I have a friend who likes that.

00:51:56.000 He's into that.

00:51:57.000 And he dates girls that are into that. 1.00

00:51:58.000 And he's like, they'll send them pictures.

00:52:01.000 Probably on their own website.

00:52:02.000 They'll send him pictures of bruises that he left on them.

00:52:05.000 I'm like, Jesus Christ, dude.

00:52:07.000 He's like, yeah, if it goes ugly, it's going to go real ugly for me.

00:52:10.000 Because it's consensual, but what proof does he have that this is consensual?

00:52:15.000 I don't want to get sexually attracted to that.

00:52:18.000 I don't want that to be like the foot fetish thing where you become that.

00:52:22.000 That's your thing. 0.69

00:52:23.000 I'm really into smacking girls around and holding them down. 1.00

00:52:26.000 Yeah. 0.90

00:52:27.000 Because then you gotta like, that's what you need.

00:52:30.000 Then you'd have to go to Craigslist.

00:52:31.000 You'd have to like, go full on.

00:52:33.000 Yeah, you have to.

00:52:34.000 You have to like say, look, this is what I'm looking for very specifically.

00:52:38.000 Is this cool with you?

00:52:39.000 I come to you with a heavy heart.

00:52:44.000 But then the problem with that is, like, you know, how do you know that the woman wants that every time?

00:52:51.000 You know, there's gonna be times where they know.

00:52:53.000 I know, that's what I'm saying about, like, if I'm guessed wrong, I'm gonna do it, which is where you need...

00:52:58.000 That's where consent comes in. 0.92

00:53:00.000 Yeah.

00:53:01.000 That's where, like... 0.98

00:53:02.000 Consent and I again because women are physically weaker in general than men in in When sex it has to be them pitching it yes in a way like because otherwise Especially if it's physical yeah a buddy mine is huge physically huge a girl said Choke me and he was like I'll fucking so he just went like What is it, 0.99

00:53:29.000 elbow? 0.99

00:53:29.000 She wanted an elbow choke? 0.99

00:53:31.000 She wanted like a fucking real, like, real, and he was like, I'll kill you. 0.99

00:53:38.000 And so he literally was so scared that he just kind of like put his forearm up against it. 0.99

00:53:43.000 And just probably called her ex-boyfriend as soon as he was done.

00:53:45.000 It's also crazy how, fine.

00:53:48.000 Get your choke game.

00:53:49.000 Yeah, it's also crazy how...

00:53:54.000 How hard they want you to choke them.

00:53:57.000 Where it's like, oh, you really want...

00:53:59.000 I don't know.

00:54:00.000 I don't want to...

00:54:02.000 It literally just feels like, hang me off the roof.

00:54:05.000 Hey! 0.99

00:54:06.000 Hang me off the roof, and then...

00:54:09.000 I wonder what that is, too.

00:54:10.000 Why does that feel good?

00:54:12.000 Well, it speaks to evolution.

00:54:15.000 Yeah.

00:54:16.000 Consensual sex just started about 3,000 years ago.

00:54:18.000 If that.

00:54:19.000 Yeah.

00:54:20.000 I'm being generous.

00:54:21.000 Yeah, 3,000 years ago was probably an option.

00:54:23.000 Yeah.

00:54:24.000 You get asked.

00:54:25.000 I don't know.

00:54:25.000 Yeah.

00:54:27.000 Just out of respect to your brothers. 0.99

00:54:29.000 Yeah, I mean, shit, like... 0.99

00:54:31.000 It's just... 1.00

00:54:32.000 It's a part of, like, animals.

00:54:35.000 Yeah, consensual sex is like that thing of, like, the universe is this old and life on Earth is that old.

00:54:42.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:43.000 Non-consensual sex is this long and consensual sex is a fucking tiny sliver. 0.97

00:54:49.000 I think the good about all of this stuff, all this Me Too stuff, is that... 0.95

00:54:55.000 It's going to force human beings to reevaluate their behavior and that is what moves evolution culturally.

00:55:01.000 That's correct.

00:55:01.000 Cultural evolution is moving.

00:55:03.000 Yeah, and also I'm fucking, as a guy who roots for the underdog, fucking, and justice, fucking, I'm fucking so happy for women. 1.00

00:55:12.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:55:12.000 So happy for women. 0.99

00:55:13.000 I think we need, I think we need laws, like unbelievably brutal laws when it comes to pills that people drop in drinks.

00:55:23.000 When it comes to like the Cosby thing, I heard another story the other night about that. 0.64

00:55:27.000 And I I just that freaks me out That's the one that freaks me out I think the most because I feel like that's like straight sociopath shit Yeah, you you want this from some person and you just feel free to pop drop something their drink and sit back and wait and watch and watch Yeah kick in I had a girl accused me of doing that to her whoa terrifying In Vegas. 0.94

00:55:53.000 Hide a Chappelle show. 0.92

00:55:55.000 Like literally almost to the week.

00:55:58.000 And maybe a month after the Fear Factor sketch, Joe.

00:56:01.000 Thanks again.

00:56:02.000 And so meet a girl in Vegas.

00:56:07.000 Long story short, we mutual friends.

00:56:09.000 We meet for a drink.

00:56:11.000 At a bar at the Hard Rock Cafe.

00:56:15.000 Or Hard Rock Hotel.

00:56:16.000 And I get there.

00:56:18.000 She's drinking a mixed drink.

00:56:20.000 And a buddy of mine, our mutual friend, is like, hey, I'm having a party in my room.

00:56:26.000 You guys want to come?

00:56:27.000 And we're like, yeah, cool.

00:56:29.000 We'll come up.

00:56:29.000 We have a beer.

00:56:31.000 Me and her.

00:56:31.000 And then we go up to my buddy's room.

00:56:33.000 On our way to my buddy's room.

00:56:36.000 She is like, I don't...

00:56:37.000 We're walking across the casino.

00:56:38.000 She's like, I don't feel good.

00:56:40.000 Like, I don't feel, like, 100%.

00:56:43.000 And I was like, why don't...

00:56:46.000 Okay, I was like, sit down.

00:56:47.000 Like, sit down at, like, a slot machine.

00:56:50.000 And I was like, I'll go get us drinks.

00:56:53.000 And she's like, will you give me a beer?

00:56:55.000 I was like, no, I'll get you a water. 0.98

00:56:56.000 Like, I'm not fucking... 0.94

00:56:57.000 So I come back with two waters. 0.99

00:56:59.000 And she's like, yeah, I just feel, like, way more fucked up than I should be. 0.96

00:57:03.000 Like, I feel like somebody put something in my drink. 0.98

00:57:07.000 And I was like, not thinking...

00:57:10.000 The double entendre of this, I go, do you want to go back to your room?

00:57:15.000 And she looks at me and goes, I think you put something in my drink.

00:57:19.000 And runs.

00:57:21.000 And I chased her for like 10 feet and I was like, I can't chase a girl. 1.00

00:57:26.000 Like, I can't, I can't chase this girl.

00:57:30.000 So, whoa, how well did you know her?

00:57:32.000 Not well at all.

00:57:33.000 I met her on a Tuesday, and this was a Friday.

00:57:37.000 Oh my god.

00:57:38.000 So for three hours, I was like, maybe I'm going to jail.

00:57:44.000 I didn't do anything, but I couldn't prove I didn't do anything.

00:57:50.000 Almost it would be a move at that point to call the police.

00:57:55.000 And say, someone just accused me of putting something in their drink.

00:57:58.000 I absolutely didn't.

00:58:00.000 Could you please do a toxicology exam on her? 0.99

00:58:03.000 She might just be drunk and crazy. 0.99

00:58:05.000 Yeah. 0.53

00:58:06.000 Looking back, thinking back now, I realize it was at a casino, so there's cameras everywhere.

00:58:10.000 Right.

00:58:11.000 But could the cameras have recorded your... 0.99

00:58:13.000 Yeah, could the cameras have picked up me fucking dropping a... 0.99

00:58:16.000 Oh, right. 0.93

00:58:17.000 Like, maybe they weren't high resolution enough.

00:58:19.000 What year?

00:58:21.000 2004. They probably were.

00:58:25.000 Well, they're there to like prevent stealing, right?

00:58:28.000 And then gambling tricks.

00:58:30.000 So they must be able to see like your hands.

00:58:32.000 They can zoom in, I think.

00:58:34.000 But how, you know, whenever you see it, it's all kind of like kind of pixelated.

00:58:39.000 But after three hours, she finally like called me and was like, Hey, I know, because I called her, I was like, hey, just saying, I didn't poison you.

00:58:49.000 Right.

00:58:50.000 And I don't think anyone would believe I put, like, I have no reason to poison, whatever.

00:58:55.000 Well, you wouldn't do it anyway.

00:58:56.000 Right.

00:58:56.000 It's like, it's not you.

00:58:58.000 Like, you didn't do it because you wouldn't do it.

00:59:00.000 Of course.

00:59:00.000 But I would have said the same thing about Bill Cosby.

00:59:03.000 Would you have?

00:59:04.000 Oh, did I ever tell you this story about Bill Cosby?

00:59:06.000 No.

00:59:06.000 So...

00:59:09.000 So I dated a girl in like 05, 06, 07 in New York.

00:59:16.000 Beautiful girl, mixed race, and like cool, whatever, great.

00:59:23.000 And she used to talk about...

00:59:26.000 Bill Cosby came up one time.

00:59:28.000 She was like, oh, Mr. Cosby, what a sweet man.

00:59:30.000 And I was like, what?

00:59:31.000 What?

00:59:32.000 What are you, huh?

00:59:34.000 She's like, oh yeah, one time I was on the street crying and Mr. Cosby walked up and introduced himself and was like, why are you crying?

00:59:45.000 And we struck up a friendship. 1.00

00:59:51.000 And I was like, he was trying to fuck you. 1.00

00:59:54.000 Just so you know. 1.00

00:59:55.000 I was like, just so you know, he was trying to fuck you. 1.00

00:59:56.000 She's like, no, he was not trying to fuck me. 1.00

00:59:59.000 And like, what are you talking about? 1.00

01:00:02.000 Like, no, he wasn't trying to fuck you. 0.99

01:00:03.000 Again, like, I'm an animal for suggesting it. 1.00

01:00:06.000 Like, you're so boorish, why would you possibly think? 0.99

01:00:10.000 And it's like, because I fucking met the guy, and he's not a good dude. 0.99

01:00:18.000 And so she defended him. 0.98

01:00:22.000 He used to take me to plays. 1.00

01:00:25.000 Just all this shit. 0.99

01:00:25.000 I'm like, okay. 0.99

01:00:27.000 He just had a long game.

01:00:28.000 Yeah, man. 1.00

01:00:29.000 And so then all this Cosby shit comes up. 0.98

01:00:32.000 And I text her, I go, so what do you think? 0.99

01:00:34.000 What do you think you're a boy?

01:00:35.000 And she goes, she said something like, I think, like he absolutely did it, and I think his wife was in on it.

01:00:45.000 Which, again, I don't know what she meant by that, but...

01:00:48.000 So then we're texting back and forth, and she goes...

01:00:51.000 You know, one time I was supposed to meet him in Philadelphia and he told me what to wear and how to wear my hair.

01:00:59.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:01:01.000 And she goes, and thankfully I got sick.

01:01:04.000 She was going to do it?

01:01:05.000 She was going to wear what he wanted?

01:01:06.000 Yeah.

01:01:07.000 Wow, that was the time.

01:01:08.000 Yeah.

01:01:09.000 He built it up.

01:01:10.000 Yeah, and he was going to take her to the ultimate musical.

01:01:15.000 And thankfully she got sick and didn't go.

01:01:18.000 And I was like, and the whole time went, it's like, yeah.

01:01:22.000 That's the thing that, one of the things with some of these stories is like, why would Bill Cosby want to be friends with some lady?

01:01:31.000 Yeah.

01:01:31.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:01:32.000 Just because you're great looking.

01:01:35.000 Yeah.

01:01:35.000 Well, I think it's entirely possible that a guy could be friends with a beautiful woman.

01:01:40.000 Even though he wants to fuck her, just keep it together and just be friends with her and find some interesting muse qualities. 0.99

01:01:48.000 I don't think it's impossible, but I do think it's not very likely in my experience with humanity. 0.98

01:01:55.000 Right.

01:01:55.000 No, it's true.

01:01:56.000 And also, why would a guy torture himself like that?

01:01:57.000 It's like when a guy has a hot nanny. 1.00

01:02:00.000 Dummy! 1.00

01:02:02.000 Ugly nanny. 1.00

01:02:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:02:04.000 Fucking don't. 0.99

01:02:05.000 Why do that to yourself? 1.00

01:02:06.000 The hot nanny always winds up being a problem. 1.00

01:02:08.000 Oh. 1.00

01:02:09.000 Fucking every time. 1.00

01:02:10.000 Because the hot nanny knows she's hot, too. 1.00

01:02:11.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:12.000 Does she, though, Joe?

01:02:14.000 No, she's just wearing sweats.

01:02:16.000 I wear sweats all day.

01:02:17.000 Let me pick that up for you.

01:02:18.000 What are you talking about?

01:02:19.000 You're such a good dad.

01:02:21.000 Yeah, like, just don't hire a hot nanny. 1.00

01:02:24.000 Yeah, I would give that advice as well.

01:02:26.000 I wouldn't hire a hot assistant. 0.99

01:02:28.000 That's good advice as well.

01:02:29.000 I don't know if I ever told you this story.

01:02:33.000 So I hired an assistant for the second season of Chappelle Show, right?

01:02:39.000 And interviewed a bunch of people.

01:02:43.000 And this girl came in super just like sharp. 1.00

01:02:47.000 I could just tell she was sharp.

01:02:50.000 But she also happened to be good looking. 0.99

01:02:54.000 And so I hire her.

01:02:56.000 And Chappelle sees her and goes, word, she was the most qualified?

01:03:00.000 And I was like, yeah, she was the most qualified.

01:03:04.000 Now, I was like, yeah, she was the most qualified.

01:03:09.000 Believe me.

01:03:10.000 Now, and I was proven right because she has since gone on to produce Ghostbusters and The Heat and all these movies.

01:03:19.000 And she just happens to be good luck. 0.97

01:03:21.000 But it was one of these things I was like, I fucking knew it. 0.99

01:03:24.000 I fucking told you she was qualified. 0.99

01:03:26.000 She's just good. 0.99

01:03:27.000 What were you talking about with that girl you'd met, Cosby, and he wasn't a nice guy?

01:03:31.000 Oh, I met Cosby at Arsenio one time, because I'm a million years old.

01:03:38.000 I met a woman named Joy Dolce, who used to be in the talent department at Arsenio.

01:03:46.000 And she was friends with Dave because Dave did Arsenio, whatever, whatever.

01:03:49.000 So she would just go, hey, come by the show today.

01:03:52.000 This is like when Arsenio was on, the original, like in 94. So I went by one day and Cosby was the guest and he just kind of fucking berated me. 0.96

01:04:08.000 About, like, he was talking about the history of slavery, and he's like, and then the Dutchman came, and he pointed at me, and I was like, I'm not Dutch. 0.93

01:04:16.000 And he just, like, didn't back down.

01:04:18.000 I was like, okay.

01:04:19.000 But it was just that he was just a really condescending dude.

01:04:24.000 And I was 19, so, you know, he had a right to be condescending, but...

01:04:29.000 Not really.

01:04:30.000 But...

01:04:32.000 I'll, whatever. 1.00

01:04:33.000 Like, Bill Cosby is a brilliant fucking guy. 1.00

01:04:38.000 But I just, he's just not, I wouldn't, I mean, knowing what I know now, he's a real piece of garbage. 0.99

01:04:46.000 But my interaction with him at that time wasn't pleasant. 0.99

01:04:51.000 And just seeing how he talked to people, it's just like, yeah, this guy's fucking not a good dude. 0.94

01:04:56.000 Well, he definitely has an elitist sort of a thing going on, and I think that elitist sort of a thing is one of the ways that he was able to separate himself from his victims, that he's better than them. 0.97

01:05:06.000 You know, he would behave in these weird ways when he'd do these shows.

01:05:09.000 I've talked about it before, but I talked to these people that worked with him in a casino, and he would make the entire staff sit down and watch him eat.

01:05:20.000 Yeah.

01:05:21.000 So all the people that worked in the theater, all the people that worked the aisles, they would have to come in the room and stand there while he ate.

01:05:30.000 Then he had a security guard tuck him into bed at night.

01:05:33.000 So he climbs into bed and the security guard tucks him in and then shuts the lights out and shuts the door.

01:05:39.000 I heard something similar to that.

01:05:40.000 Yeah.

01:05:42.000 Yeah.

01:05:43.000 So he had this thing like, I am different than you.

01:05:46.000 I'm superior.

01:05:47.000 I'm Bill Cosby.

01:05:49.000 I'm Dr. Cosby.

01:05:50.000 Call me Dr. Cosby. 0.98

01:05:51.000 I mean, the Dr. Cosby thing used to drive me fucking crazy. 0.99

01:05:55.000 Chuck D from Public Enemy broke my fucking heart. 0.99

01:05:58.000 Because on Twitter, he was talking about when the accusation started, you know, this is all a smear campaign against Dr. Cosby. 0.99

01:06:05.000 And I'm like, come on, man.

01:06:06.000 He's not a doctor!

01:06:08.000 He's not a real doctor.

01:06:09.000 Don't say that.

01:06:10.000 And they took that doctor away, too, now.

01:06:12.000 Yeah.

01:06:14.000 Yeah, I mean...

01:06:16.000 I get...

01:06:17.000 Dave talked about it in his last special, that thing, like, the he rapes but he saves thing.

01:06:25.000 Bill Cosby's an important dude to black American culture and history.

01:06:31.000 Well, just culture.

01:06:32.000 To culture, yes, but he's the first black dude to win an Emmy. 1.00

01:06:38.000 He's the first black dude to do a lot of shit. 1.00

01:06:41.000 And did it the right way. 1.00

01:06:44.000 I mean, he had an animated show, too, that people forgot about Fat Albert.

01:06:46.000 That was a huge hit.

01:06:48.000 And black people didn't forget about that show. 1.00

01:06:49.000 Well, it's hard to find now, right?

01:06:52.000 Yeah.

01:06:53.000 And, like, just a huge impact.

01:06:55.000 And it was a real loss for black people.

01:06:58.000 So a guy like Chuck D, who was eminently respectable...

01:07:02.000 There's a mourning period.

01:07:04.000 Yeah, but you gotta be careful when you pull the trigger on calling it a smear campaign.

01:07:09.000 Oh, I totally agree. 1.00

01:07:10.000 And it's entirely possible that your hero's a piece of shit. 1.00

01:07:13.000 And people can have both qualities. 1.00

01:07:15.000 They can be amazing at something and very important, but also be terrible.

01:07:19.000 Yeah.

01:07:20.000 I don't even know if I believe it, but I had the thought that Cosby...

01:07:26.000 If the kink came before the talent... 0.99

01:07:31.000 Meaning, I know I like poisoning people.

01:07:34.000 Right. 0.84

01:07:35.000 How do I put myself in a position to be able to plausibly poison women? 1.00

01:07:42.000 I got it right.

01:07:44.000 I believe subconsciously that's how people work.

01:07:48.000 I honestly believe that there's like, in the unconscious, That you go, I have this thing.

01:07:54.000 Because that's not a thing that you just develop, I don't think.

01:07:58.000 And that's also not even a power thing. 0.99

01:08:03.000 That's some other shit. 0.99

01:08:05.000 It is power, but it's like sociopathy. 1.00

01:08:08.000 It's not like Harvey Weinstein...

01:08:12.000 Is like, to me, is like the casting couch run amok.

01:08:16.000 You know what I mean?

01:08:17.000 Like, I want...

01:08:18.000 Come on! 1.00

01:08:18.000 Fuck me! 1.00

01:08:19.000 Like, come on! 1.00

01:08:20.000 You're a hot actress! 1.00

01:08:21.000 I got power!

01:08:22.000 Like, I thought that's how it works!

01:08:24.000 Like, I thought that's kind of the way the game was played.

01:08:28.000 With Cosby... 0.99

01:08:29.000 I mean, having said that, a lot of Harvey shit was just straight rapes, so... 0.99

01:08:33.000 But the fact that they were all actresses, I don't think is like a coincidence. 0.99

01:08:39.000 Um...

01:08:40.000 But with Cosby, it's like that probably existed when he was 15. I don't know.

01:08:47.000 I think it's entirely...

01:08:49.000 I've been talking about this as well, that I think that there was a time when that was normal.

01:08:53.000 I think it was a time where slipping a Mickey into someone's drink was something that a lot of men did.

01:08:58.000 Yeah.

01:08:59.000 I think it was...

01:09:00.000 We looked at things in a different way.

01:09:02.000 Just like we look at hitting women in a different way. 0.99

01:09:05.000 Like, you go watch those old movies.

01:09:07.000 Women got smacked all the time. 1.00

01:09:08.000 It was normal. 1.00

01:09:09.000 The leading man, like Steve McQueen, would smack the shit out of women. 1.00

01:09:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:15.000 Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. 0.62

01:09:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:16.000 Try slapping a woman now. 1.00

01:09:18.000 In a movie? 1.00

01:09:19.000 Try it.

01:09:20.000 And be the hero?

01:09:21.000 Yeah.

01:09:22.000 I mean, it's again what we're talking about.

01:09:23.000 Massive cultural evolution.

01:09:25.000 And they're happening right before us.

01:09:26.000 And it also was that thing of like, oh, women aren't people. 1.00

01:09:28.000 Right.

01:09:29.000 Eh.

01:09:29.000 Eh, there is some else.

01:09:31.000 It's a woman.

01:09:32.000 Do you know what the real term for a faggot is? 1.00

01:09:35.000 What do you mean? 1.00

01:09:36.000 Like the etymology?

01:09:36.000 With the real origin?

01:09:37.000 Yeah.

01:09:38.000 Yeah, what?

01:09:39.000 It's a bundle of sticks.

01:09:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:09:41.000 Right?

01:09:41.000 Well, a woman...

01:09:43.000 Was thought to be a bundle of sticks that was used for a woman. 1.00

01:09:47.000 She's burdensome like a bundle of sticks. 1.00

01:09:51.000 Yeah.

01:09:51.000 Because it's difficult to carry around.

01:09:53.000 So a faggot as a man became a man who's like a woman. 1.00

01:09:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:09:59.000 Who's burdensome like a bundle of sticks.

01:10:01.000 It was never anything about...

01:10:02.000 What is this here?

01:10:03.000 Here it goes.

01:10:04.000 The archaic...

01:10:05.000 Yeah.

01:10:05.000 Take a picture.

01:10:07.000 We don't have to.

01:10:07.000 Unit of volume.

01:10:08.000 Yeah.

01:10:09.000 So, this bundle of sticks thing was like how men thought of women. 1.00

01:10:14.000 Like, oh, carry this bitch around. 1.00

01:10:16.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:10:17.000 You know, bundle of sticks is annoying to carry around.

01:10:20.000 I got a question for you.

01:10:22.000 What do you make of...

01:10:24.000 With...

01:10:26.000 Now that we've got Louis...

01:10:29.000 Cosby.

01:10:30.000 I don't think they're even in the same category.

01:10:32.000 No.

01:10:32.000 Just for my own...

01:10:33.000 Just for the sake of argument.

01:10:34.000 Prior, Beat His Wife, Coke addict, etc., etc.

01:10:39.000 Do you think that there is a correlation between...

01:10:46.000 Comedic excellence and degenerate behavior.

01:10:51.000 Yes.

01:10:52.000 So do I. I said that to the crowd the other night. 0.58

01:10:54.000 I go, by the way, the ability, jerking off on your stomach and writing amazing jokes are roommates.

01:11:02.000 Yeah.

01:11:02.000 Like, it's like, I can't, it's like a, hey, we need you guys to think irrationally about everything.

01:11:09.000 Yeah, how about Kinison?

01:11:10.000 Here's another one.

01:11:11.000 Yeah.

01:11:11.000 Hicks.

01:11:12.000 Yes.

01:11:12.000 Well, Hicks wasn't.

01:11:13.000 Was Hicks a dirtbag? 0.97

01:11:14.000 Hicks was deviant. 1.00

01:11:15.000 He was into, like, addicted to pornography. 0.98

01:11:19.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:19.000 Oh, I'm not, yeah.

01:11:19.000 I mean, like.

01:11:21.000 Dirtbag.

01:11:21.000 Like, not malevolent.

01:11:23.000 Yeah, malevolent.

01:11:24.000 I mean, I feel like.

01:11:25.000 Hicks is probably more conscious.

01:11:27.000 He didn't do anything to women, but friends who worked with him would say, hey, we're going out.

01:11:32.000 You want to come out? 0.99

01:11:33.000 No, I'm going to go back and jerk off. 1.00

01:11:35.000 He was just into watching porn and beating off all the time. 1.00

01:11:38.000 You know what's funny? 0.94

01:11:39.000 I was talking about...

01:11:40.000 We've both known Louis since...

01:11:42.000 You've known him since 1989 probably?

01:11:44.000 I never knew him very well.

01:11:46.000 But are you around him?

01:11:46.000 I would see him like once a year, twice a year somewhere and say hi.

01:11:52.000 I know you way better than I know him.

01:11:54.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:11:55.000 So I remember when I moved to New York in 91 and was in the comedy scene in 92, 93, 94 in New York, I couldn't believe the amount of jerking off that was going on. 0.84

01:12:10.000 I just remember going, like, why is everyone constantly talking about, like, what the fuck is, it's, I remember, like, going to Louie's apartment for, to shoot, uh, movies, like, his shorts that he used to make, I would, like, PA on them, and, 0.98

01:12:25.000 uh, and it always smelled gross. 0.96

01:12:29.000 Like, Jay Moore was constantly... 0.95

01:12:32.000 Jay Moore, me and I were roommates for a bit, he jerked off on one of my socks. 0.63

01:12:36.000 Like, just like, what do you... 0.98

01:12:37.000 Like, why is everyone jerking off all the time? 0.98

01:12:40.000 Just like, what is the... 1.00

01:12:41.000 What the fuck is happening? 1.00

01:12:43.000 That's rape. 1.00

01:12:44.000 Yeah, no, you know what's funny is I was wondering, like...

01:12:47.000 Today?

01:12:47.000 Yeah, I was thinking about the Jay thing.

01:12:50.000 Again, because I'm of the mind that, like... 0.96

01:12:54.000 Again, Louie was more gross than malicious and criminal. 0.98

01:13:01.000 It was gross. 0.98

01:13:03.000 What he did, I think, was just gross.

01:13:04.000 It was gross if he did it to a man.

01:13:06.000 It takes on more ominous tones when he's doing it to women.

01:13:10.000 Completely agree.

01:13:12.000 But it's not a crime, right?

01:13:15.000 No, no, no, I don't think so.

01:13:17.000 I think it's just sad.

01:13:19.000 It's nothing like Cosby. 1.00

01:13:20.000 It's just pathetic. 1.00

01:13:21.000 It's weird. 0.99

01:13:22.000 And, you know, I had some conversations with...

01:13:27.000 Uh, Eliza Schlesinger.

01:13:29.000 Mm-hmm.

01:13:29.000 And she was saying that men would say things to her when she first started out because she wasn't very good.

01:13:35.000 You know, she just started out.

01:13:36.000 Yeah.

01:13:36.000 And these guys were like established guys and they would treat her as if like you're below me and you're always going to be below me.

01:13:43.000 Mm-hmm.

01:13:43.000 And I can get away with saying whenever I want to you because you're less than me.

01:13:46.000 And she goes and I kind of feel like that's probably why he did that to those girls like he was above them They were below him and it was not just hey, I want to jerk off in front of you It's like you have to watch me jerk off because I'm above you. 0.98

01:13:59.000 You know what's the thing you said earlier was relevant which is Getting hard from that. 0.98

01:14:06.000 How can you?

01:14:07.000 Yeah, that's the thing that's like... 0.99

01:14:08.000 But then it's also like you don't pick your kinks and all that shit. 0.99

01:14:12.000 It just falls on you. 0.99

01:14:14.000 You don't pick that.

01:14:16.000 That's even a direct correlation.

01:14:18.000 Most kinks are just like, I don't know. 1.00

01:14:19.000 I don't fucking like being hung off the roof. 0.66

01:14:23.000 You know what I mean? 0.97

01:14:27.000 But yeah, that's the thing of the getting hard thing.

01:14:31.000 But also...

01:14:35.000 The whole thing.

01:14:36.000 It is sad. 1.00

01:14:37.000 It's fucked up. 0.98

01:14:37.000 But I actually think he'll be in a year and a half he'll be back. 0.98

01:14:42.000 You think so?

01:14:43.000 Yeah.

01:14:43.000 Because now he's got something to talk about.

01:14:46.000 Yeah.

01:14:47.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:14:48.000 It's going to be a lot of dudes at the show.

01:14:50.000 It's going to be 90% dudes.

01:14:51.000 But I've asked the crowd.

01:14:52.000 I've asked probably five or six different crowds.

01:14:55.000 If Louis was doing the show after this, would you go?

01:14:58.000 And 70% of the people applaud.

01:15:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:15:01.000 They would want to see what the fuck he has to say. 0.99

01:15:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:15:04.000 Yes.

01:15:04.000 I think he should go on stage, the first words out of his mouth should be, well, I asked.

01:15:08.000 I did ask.

01:15:09.000 I believe the light should just come up and he's jerking off buttoning.

01:15:14.000 That's better.

01:15:15.000 That's better.

01:15:17.000 Yeah, it's a great idea.

01:15:19.000 And then just like lights down.

01:15:20.000 I'm just like...

01:15:21.000 Yeah, I think what he did was freaky and weird, but I don't think Louie's a monster.

01:15:26.000 I don't know him very well, but I don't think he's a bad person.

01:15:29.000 He's always been friendly to me.

01:15:30.000 He's not a bad person.

01:15:33.000 He's not.

01:15:34.000 He's not a bad...

01:15:35.000 He's also, again, I don't want to be defending a sex criminal.

01:15:42.000 If it's a power thing, the more powerful he got, the less he did it.

01:15:46.000 Yeah, that's the weird thing, right? 0.94

01:15:48.000 It's like, I think he realized that what he did was fucked up, and he had these crazy urges, and he did it, and then as time went on, he stopped doing it, and he's like, I'm a prisoner to some shit that I used to do. 0.86

01:15:59.000 I know, and if he had just got in front of it. 0.94

01:16:00.000 I feel like if he had just, A, if he had just talked about it.

01:16:03.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:16:05.000 Letterman talked about fucking his staff on the air. 0.99

01:16:10.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:16:10.000 And no one cared. 0.99

01:16:12.000 Well, Letterman just went straight...

01:16:14.000 I mean, 100% confessional.

01:16:18.000 Yeah, which I think Louis could have done.

01:16:19.000 I think he just mishandled it. 0.99

01:16:21.000 Liked having sex with the people that work with him. 0.99

01:16:24.000 And by the way... 0.99

01:16:25.000 I'm being blackmailed.

01:16:25.000 I talked to Mulaney about this yesterday.

01:16:27.000 He goes, have you watched it?

01:16:28.000 He's getting laughs the whole time.

01:16:30.000 Yeah.

01:16:31.000 Yeah.

01:16:31.000 Like, the whole time.

01:16:32.000 The whole time.

01:16:33.000 Getting big laughs.

01:16:34.000 He was brilliant.

01:16:35.000 Yeah.

01:16:35.000 I miss him.

01:16:36.000 And the other thing, it's like the irony of like...

01:16:39.000 Netflix didn't pull his show. 0.96

01:16:42.000 Yeah, but he was only having sex with people. 0.98

01:16:44.000 But here's the thing, having sex with people back then, that you work with... 0.91

01:16:47.000 But that's now an abuse of power, though. 0.69

01:16:49.000 Yes.

01:16:50.000 Now it is.

01:16:51.000 That's...

01:16:51.000 Again, we're talking about four years ago.

01:16:54.000 That's crazy.

01:16:55.000 You know what I mean?

01:16:55.000 It feels like...

01:16:56.000 Well, what has changed?

01:16:57.000 What's changed?

01:16:58.000 Is it just everyone... 1.00

01:16:59.000 I think the Harvey Weinstein thing was so fucking gross, and he's such a monster. 1.00

01:17:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:05.000 I think there's this ripple effect.

01:17:09.000 We're way beyond normal reactions for things.

01:17:14.000 Like Matt Lauer.

01:17:15.000 I'm still trying to figure out what Matt Lauer did that got him fired. 0.97

01:17:19.000 I think he had sex with someone on staff. 0.95

01:17:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:17:23.000 I think he had sex with someone on staff that probably felt like she couldn't stop.

01:17:29.000 Mmm, that's that would be the that would be that sort of Rub I don't know you see I don't I don't want a victim shame, right?

01:17:38.000 You don't know you don't know what really happened.

01:17:41.000 I don't know his version I don't even know her version. 0.99

01:17:43.000 I just know the third-hand version You know like I read one that he had sex with some girl until she blacked out like Matt Lauer likes to fuck. 1.00

01:17:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:17:54.000 In his office. 1.00

01:17:56.000 And then the other thing was that he had a button at his desk where he could lock the door.

01:18:00.000 Apparently that's normal.

01:18:01.000 That to me is less a rape trap than it is. 0.99

01:18:05.000 Just like a fucking, I don't want to have to get up and go. 0.98

01:18:09.000 The offices at 30 Rock aren't that big and you're like, you know, it's probably, I don't want to walk 40 feet every time I need to shut the door. 0.99

01:18:19.000 Well, it's also, he's writing, right?

01:18:21.000 When you write, you don't want to be disturbed. 0.99

01:18:23.000 You're just like, let me just lock this fucking door and lock into this thing. 0.98

01:18:27.000 I don't even think he was writing. 0.99

01:18:28.000 I think it's just like a convenience thing.

01:18:30.000 Maybe.

01:18:31.000 But there was no...

01:18:34.000 The only abuse is that he was having sex with someone who was below him, right?

01:18:39.000 There wasn't like...

01:18:41.000 He, you know, he didn't chase him down like Harvey did or, you know, offer them a gig or...

01:18:46.000 Another friend of mine said something interesting, which he said, uh, until dating people you work with is illegal, this is never going to stop.

01:18:56.000 Yeah, Whitney's got a great joke about that that she's doing right now, about working in an office, you know, because she works on Roseanne now. 1.00

01:19:02.000 Yeah.

01:19:02.000 It's, uh, it's their world, you know?

01:19:05.000 It's like when men and women are in an environment together.

01:19:07.000 It becomes your entire ecosystem.

01:19:09.000 Yeah.

01:19:10.000 And you can't, like, where else are you going to meet people?

01:19:12.000 Right.

01:19:13.000 And you're working all day.

01:19:15.000 Yes.

01:19:15.000 So it's most of your day.

01:19:16.000 Most of your life is with these people. 0.97

01:19:18.000 Also, in the same way that they serve, like, lunch at these places now, or they have, like, we play foosball and all that shit at Google. 0.93

01:19:25.000 Like, we have slides and ball pits. 1.00

01:19:27.000 It's like, you can fuck people here. 1.00

01:19:29.000 Like... 1.00

01:19:30.000 That's one of our things.

01:19:32.000 That's one of our incentives.

01:19:34.000 They want to keep people on campus.

01:19:36.000 But as soon as you stop, you make that illegal.

01:19:40.000 If you decide, okay, our rules are you cannot have sex with anybody you work with. 1.00

01:19:45.000 Then you want to fuck everybody you work with. 1.00

01:19:51.000 Yes, but you can't do it. 1.00

01:19:54.000 This speaks to the drinking thing.

01:19:57.000 But sometimes it does work.

01:19:59.000 If a man and a woman are working together, didn't Jimmy Kimmel marry one of his head writers or something like that?

01:20:05.000 Yeah, he did.

01:20:07.000 Again! 0.56

01:20:08.000 Is he a monster now?

01:20:09.000 How does that work?

01:20:10.000 Is she below him?

01:20:12.000 Yes, she was!

01:20:13.000 That's what it doesn't... 0.99

01:20:14.000 He's a criminal. 0.97

01:20:15.000 I know. 0.99

01:20:16.000 That's the thing. 1.00

01:20:17.000 That's the irony of all this shit. 0.99

01:20:18.000 There was a thing that Leno did his last show. 0.99

01:20:22.000 It was like the 25 kids that were born to couples who met on the show.

01:20:28.000 Wow.

01:20:28.000 And I was watching it going like, this all was sexual harassment.

01:20:32.000 It's all crime.

01:20:32.000 Yeah.

01:20:33.000 This is a perp walk, basically.

01:20:36.000 But it's not if the two people are really into each other.

01:20:39.000 If it works, it's not.

01:20:41.000 You ever dated a comic?

01:20:43.000 No.

01:20:43.000 Dated one when I was 21. I don't even really like sleeping with waitresses.

01:20:49.000 I really try to avoid it.

01:20:50.000 I try everything in my pocket.

01:20:53.000 I can't say I've never done it, but I really try not to.

01:20:57.000 Yeah.

01:20:58.000 Because I don't even think a lot of times you're attracted to them.

01:21:02.000 I think you're attracted to the dynamic.

01:21:05.000 I think you're attracted to like the uniform and like you're working and they're working and you're not supposed to and then you see them off campus in normal clothes and you're like You're just normal here.

01:21:18.000 You're just a regular person.

01:21:19.000 Can you go put your outfit on?

01:21:20.000 Put your apron on.

01:21:21.000 Listen, how about you just pretend to work at a diner?

01:21:23.000 I'll stop in for a coffee and then we'll talk.

01:21:26.000 Yeah.

01:21:26.000 How was your experience with dating somebody?

01:21:29.000 I just think there's too much I want to be a comic going on.

01:21:34.000 We were both 21. We were both...

01:21:37.000 Both like really raw open micers trying it out didn't know what the fuck the future held in store for us It was just too much comedy talk and I was like, oh she's too much like me.

01:21:46.000 Yeah, but she was fucking funny and She was one of the few people that I was like wow like she really could be like legit Like when when we were all open micers together and it never worked out for she's quit Yeah, I guess. 0.96

01:21:59.000 I mean, I lost touch with her. 0.89

01:22:00.000 Last time I talked to her, I think we were both like 22, 23, something like that.

01:22:05.000 And then I'd heard somebody ran into her at an open mic night like a year later, but she had never gotten out of the open mic scene.

01:22:12.000 So she was in the open mic scene for two, three years and never figured out how to make money.

01:22:17.000 And, you know, just didn't have whatever it is that some people have. 0.97

01:22:21.000 The fucking driving ambition to figure it out. 0.98

01:22:26.000 I don't... 0.99

01:22:26.000 One of the reasons I wouldn't date another comedian is I don't like that ambition part of me. 0.99

01:22:33.000 Meaning, like, I have it...

01:22:36.000 I'm I I it does like drive me you don't want to see it.

01:22:41.000 I don't want to see another I don't want that to be my Emotional support the person who thinks the way I think or feels the way I feel yeah in regards to achievement Yeah, especially like status and you know recognition getting the recognition from your peers and all that kind of crazy shit and craving it and Where are you with all that stuff?

01:23:05.000 With recognition?

01:23:06.000 Yeah.

01:23:09.000 Everything right now, I'm pretty comfortable.

01:23:11.000 I was going to say, I don't know how you are with congratulations or compliments or stuff, but you've done really well for yourself.

01:23:21.000 Thank you. 0.70

01:23:22.000 This is fucking impressive. 0.95

01:23:24.000 I was just thinking about that the other day. 0.99

01:23:26.000 You don't get a lot of press.

01:23:28.000 You probably get offers all the time and just don't do it. 0.99

01:23:30.000 But you've fucking built a... 0.99

01:23:33.000 Great thing. 0.99

01:23:35.000 First of all, to say, I'll tell you a comment somebody else gave you.

01:23:40.000 Chris Rock said about you, he goes, Joe Rogan basically physically willed himself into being a great comic.

01:23:47.000 I don't even know what Chris meant by that.

01:23:49.000 But I know it's a comic.

01:23:50.000 Like, you just were like, no, I'm gonna do that.

01:23:52.000 And I'm gonna be a great comic.

01:23:54.000 And you became a great comic.

01:23:56.000 That's to say nothing of all this stuff.

01:23:58.000 That's to say nothing of, like, building an atmosphere where two men can talk about rape.

01:24:06.000 No, building an atmosphere where you can have me on, you can have...

01:24:11.000 You know, Alex Jones on. 0.99

01:24:13.000 You can have fucking Neil deGrasse Tyson on. 0.99

01:24:17.000 You can have Miley Yiannopoli. 0.99

01:24:21.000 Just having all these people on...

01:24:24.000 And it's this weird cross-section that you built, and it's all just from like, oh, I'm into that.

01:24:30.000 It doesn't even seem that calculated.

01:24:32.000 It's not calculated at all.

01:24:34.000 But you deserve full accolades.

01:24:40.000 Thank you, sir.

01:24:41.000 Appreciate it.

01:24:42.000 Like, really.

01:24:43.000 It's really like you've done a...

01:24:44.000 Not only like you've built an empire or whatever, but you've...

01:24:51.000 You started with your voice and your interests and worked out inside out.

01:25:00.000 Yeah.

01:25:01.000 You know what I mean?

01:25:01.000 Like, I'm into that.

01:25:02.000 I like talking to people.

01:25:03.000 I like talking to people about these five or eight things.

01:25:07.000 And then you didn't...

01:25:09.000 And you don't chase...

01:25:11.000 You don't genre chase to...

01:25:16.000 Wealthy and old to do it anymore, but you're not like, I gotta do a multi-game.

01:25:20.000 You've done a multi-game, but I gotta do this thing, or I gotta do that, or I gotta get...

01:25:23.000 But if I was on a network, I'd get billboards, and I'd get all...

01:25:27.000 You know what I mean?

01:25:28.000 Like, you'd get... 1.00

01:25:28.000 You don't do dumb shit. 1.00

01:25:31.000 No, I'm into what I'm into. 1.00

01:25:33.000 I did dumb shit with Fear Factor. 1.00

01:25:36.000 Fear Factor was a great education for me. 1.00

01:25:38.000 First of all, it gave me a lot of fuck you money, which was great, because then I realized, well, once you have that, it doesn't really matter. 0.97

01:25:45.000 You really can do what you want if you don't have to worry about how your bills are being paid. 0.99

01:25:49.000 Now you have this freedom.

01:25:51.000 It's like if they cancel it tomorrow, and I'm like, I didn't spend it all.

01:25:55.000 I still have a bunch of money, and now I can make a living doing stand-up.

01:25:58.000 I can do whatever I want.

01:25:59.000 Also, you could not make a living doing stand-up.

01:26:02.000 You don't need to make a living.

01:26:03.000 Right.

01:26:04.000 You don't have to.

01:26:05.000 You don't need to make a living.

01:26:07.000 You've got it.

01:26:07.000 You're good.

01:26:08.000 You just lay back if you want to, but I can never do that.

01:26:11.000 But I just decided somewhere along the line, like, what am I really interested in?

01:26:18.000 Yeah.

01:26:19.000 That, to me, is the key.

01:26:21.000 That's kind of...

01:26:23.000 Where I've gotten in the last, literally in the last year.

01:26:25.000 Because, like, Three Mics was popular and successful, like, creatively.

01:26:31.000 And, like, you know, people liked it and critics liked it.

01:26:37.000 And it was the last year is the first time I've been like...

01:26:43.000 Am I funny?

01:26:44.000 Am I talented?

01:26:46.000 I'm like, no, I am.

01:26:47.000 I am. 0.98

01:26:48.000 So now I can stop doing shit out of... 0.98

01:26:53.000 To prove that you are? 1.00

01:26:54.000 To prove this dumb thing that is mostly paranoia. 1.00

01:26:59.000 Right. 0.97

01:26:59.000 Because when people are like, what do you mean am I funny? 0.97

01:27:03.000 Or can you write?

01:27:04.000 Like the things that I would actually consciously think.

01:27:08.000 Right.

01:27:10.000 It's hard when you battle those things in your head because they steal your perception.

01:27:16.000 It's such a waste of time.

01:27:18.000 Such a waste.

01:27:19.000 It's not even a waste.

01:27:21.000 It's maybe the biggest waste of anything on earth. 1.00

01:27:26.000 Your brain is... 0.81

01:27:31.000 It's an occupying force in your brain.

01:27:33.000 But it's impossible to tell that to someone who's just starting out or who's ambitious and struggling because that is all they want.

01:27:39.000 They so desire affirmation to know that, hey, I'm a legit pro.

01:27:45.000 Yeah, and that's the thing.

01:27:46.000 I got enough affirmation. 0.99

01:27:48.000 Three mics was popular, and this is how dumb the inner voices were.

01:27:54.000 I would think, yeah, you can write sketches, but you can only write single-camera sketches. 0.80

01:28:00.000 Oh, that's so hilarious.

01:28:01.000 So then I was like, you probably can't write multi-cam sketches, and then Dave hosted SNL, he asked me to help him with it, and I wrote a great sketch.

01:28:10.000 And I was like, okay.

01:28:12.000 Of course you can. 0.99

01:28:13.000 You can write whatever the fuck you want. 1.00

01:28:15.000 Call me next time you have these confusions. 1.00

01:28:17.000 I know.

01:28:18.000 It was so obvious to everyone except me.

01:28:21.000 And then the popularity of three mics, I was like, oh, it's fulfilling.

01:28:26.000 It is fulfilling, but it's also like you just check it off the list of like, oh, okay.

01:28:31.000 I don't have to pursue this thing.

01:28:35.000 I know that that won't Bring me...

01:28:40.000 It did bring me fulfillment in that it shut the voices up.

01:28:43.000 Right.

01:28:43.000 But it didn't bring me fulfillment of like, now when I walk into restaurants, five people know me.

01:28:49.000 And that's changed. 0.99

01:28:51.000 Like, that doesn't change shit. 0.98

01:28:52.000 Some people love that. 0.99

01:28:53.000 Some people live for that.

01:28:55.000 I find that to be nothing.

01:28:57.000 That's a giant distraction.

01:28:58.000 Yeah, I just find it to be like...

01:29:00.000 Hey, you know what time it is?

01:29:01.000 Yeah.

01:29:01.000 And then I'm just like, I don't really remember.

01:29:03.000 It's gratifying, but it doesn't permeate.

01:29:09.000 Well, it gets to a place where you're like Chris Rock, where it becomes a problem.

01:29:13.000 Like, if Chris Rock goes into Spago or wherever, all of a sudden, all eyes are on him.

01:29:19.000 The paparazzi get notified.

01:29:20.000 They're waiting out front with cameras.

01:29:22.000 People inside are looking.

01:29:23.000 He's over there.

01:29:24.000 He's over there.

01:29:25.000 He's over there.

01:29:26.000 There's that level where it becomes a giant distraction, and it fucks with your art, too. 0.99

01:29:32.000 Chris is good about that shit in that he doesn't have, literally, he travels by himself. 0.99

01:29:37.000 He doesn't have any boys. 1.00

01:29:38.000 Yeah, he comes to the comedy store, no bodyguards, no bullshit, pulls in. 0.98

01:29:42.000 Hey, what's up? 0.99

01:29:43.000 Yeah.

01:29:44.000 Yeah.

01:29:44.000 No, he's very wise in that regard.

01:29:46.000 He didn't insulate himself.

01:29:48.000 I can't have people gassing me.

01:29:52.000 Smart of him. 0.99

01:29:53.000 He's a fucking smart guy, though. 1.00

01:29:55.000 He can see the pitfalls in advance. 0.99

01:29:59.000 Which is why he's a great comic.

01:30:02.000 He's psychologically aware.

01:30:04.000 He's not just delusional and trying to push something that he's...

01:30:08.000 He's trying to make work.

01:30:10.000 We all have blind spots, creatively and personally.

01:30:15.000 He has maybe the fewest blind spots of anyone I know.

01:30:20.000 Well, that's why he was willing to hire people to help him with his act.

01:30:24.000 By the way...

01:30:26.000 That thing of hiring people, because I work on his new hour, here's what it is.

01:30:32.000 He likes comedy writers.

01:30:34.000 Right.

01:30:34.000 And when you're him, you don't have any peers.

01:30:38.000 Right.

01:30:39.000 No one's walking up to Rock and giving him tags.

01:30:42.000 Right, of course.

01:30:43.000 I would, because I know him, but he doesn't really have peers' peers.

01:30:48.000 Right, right.

01:30:49.000 So he just has comedy.

01:30:50.000 He goes, I like having comedy writers around and comics.

01:30:54.000 The way rappers like gold chains.

01:30:58.000 He's like, it just makes me feel good.

01:31:00.000 He just likes comics.

01:31:03.000 I can tell you, in his new hour, I have two tags.

01:31:10.000 No, there's no premises. 1.00

01:31:12.000 There's none of that shit. 0.98

01:31:13.000 Literally, I have two tags. 0.98

01:31:15.000 If I hadn't given them to him, you wouldn't notice.

01:31:18.000 But it's also in the interest of making the overall product better, and so he's willing to have a bunch of outside eyes look at it.

01:31:25.000 Yes, it's putting your material against his, basically.

01:31:28.000 It's like, okay, what do you have for that joke?

01:31:30.000 No, I think I have all the best beats.

01:31:32.000 Right.

01:31:33.000 Already.

01:31:33.000 Well, what I was gonna say is his work with Richard Jenny was a great example of that.

01:31:38.000 He loved Jenny, yeah.

01:31:39.000 I did too.

01:31:39.000 Yeah.

01:31:40.000 I think Jenny's the most unheralded...

01:31:42.000 I thought one of...

01:31:43.000 What was it?

01:31:46.000 His second and last...

01:31:47.000 Steamy pile of me.

01:31:48.000 Steaming Pile of Me was great, and then the one...

01:31:52.000 He had some...

01:31:53.000 I remember the one where he got out of the subway car.

01:31:56.000 Oh, yeah.

01:31:57.000 I was like... 0.98

01:31:57.000 I remember watching and going like, this is fucking good. 0.98

01:32:01.000 It's great. 1.00

01:32:01.000 Yeah, I haven't watched it in 20 years probably, but I remember going like, yeah, this shit is... 1.00

01:32:05.000 His bit on a steamy pile of me, I was just talking to some comics about it the other night. 0.93

01:32:10.000 I'm like, he has a bit about the difference between the left and the right and the center. 0.71

01:32:16.000 I don't want to paraphrase it, but it's fucking such a well-written bit.

01:32:22.000 And he was so good at squeezing every last angle out of bits. 0.99

01:32:26.000 Fucking premise. 1.00

01:32:28.000 Oh, just smash them. 1.00

01:32:29.000 They would be obliterated. 0.99

01:32:32.000 And his economy of words was so magical.

01:32:35.000 He was a craftsman.

01:32:37.000 Yeah.

01:32:37.000 You know?

01:32:38.000 Yeah, he was really fucking good. 0.94

01:32:40.000 And again, a deeply troubled guy who never felt like he got the respect that he deserved and never got to be the... 0.93

01:32:45.000 He didn't!

01:32:45.000 Well, he was in a...

01:32:46.000 I think if he was alive today, he would be this huge Netflix star, selling out big places, and he would probably be happy with that.

01:32:54.000 But in his era, that wasn't the goal.

01:32:56.000 In his era, the goal was get a sitcom.

01:32:59.000 And so he used to do clubs where I would go, I would do the clubs after him, and they would be saying like, oh he hates it, he didn't want to do this, he hates doing press, he's bummed out that he's on the road, he didn't move to Hollywood to be on the road.

01:33:12.000 And I was like, does he understand that he's like one of the best comics that's ever lived?

01:33:16.000 When we were all kids, when we were starting out, back when I met you at Boston Comedy in 1991 or whatever it was, you weren't even doing stand-up back then.

01:33:25.000 The goal was to make a living.

01:33:27.000 Do you think you can make a living?

01:33:29.000 You know what Jenny's only problem was?

01:33:33.000 His material was great, and I'm trying to think of a guy who's like this now.

01:33:38.000 His material was great.

01:33:40.000 His presentation was artless.

01:33:45.000 Meaning, he looked like he bought his suits at the Dick Tracy villain shop.

01:33:52.000 He just had a hacky sensibility. 1.00

01:33:57.000 His fucking bits were great. 1.00

01:33:59.000 There are people that don't like Sebastian because of what I'm saying. 1.00

01:34:06.000 Because he's too stylized?

01:34:09.000 Sebastian shops at the mall.

01:34:13.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:34:13.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.

01:34:14.000 He's just a populist.

01:34:15.000 He's not an artist.

01:34:18.000 You know what I mean?

01:34:21.000 I once brought Sebastian up as a blue-collar snob.

01:34:29.000 Which is exactly what he is. 0.98

01:34:34.000 I'll have arguments with people where I'm like, Sebastian's fucking great. 0.96

01:34:37.000 And they're like, he doesn't need a little hacky. 0.98

01:34:38.000 I'm like, no!

01:34:40.000 He's not hacky at all. 1.00

01:34:41.000 He's not hacky at all, but because he dresses like a fucking Italian fucking chooch from Chicago. 1.00

01:34:48.000 A chooch! 1.00

01:34:49.000 He wears vests.

01:34:51.000 He wears vests.

01:34:52.000 Literally, people deduct points.

01:34:55.000 They're not even aware they're doing it.

01:34:57.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:34:57.000 And Jenny suffered from that, where you had to go, boy, this is a fucking good bit. 0.98

01:35:02.000 This is like, in terms of writing-wise, he was as good a bit writer as Hicks was at that time. 0.95

01:35:08.000 Better.

01:35:09.000 Way better.

01:35:10.000 Again.

01:35:10.000 Way better.

01:35:11.000 In terms of humor...

01:35:13.000 In terms of humor, I don't even think they're close.

01:35:15.000 Okay, but I'm saying in terms of his peers at the time.

01:35:18.000 But I mean, if you listen to Hicks, you're not going to laugh a lot.

01:35:21.000 No.

01:35:22.000 If you listen to a steaming pile of me, you're going to...

01:35:24.000 I was in the car coming back from the Irvine Improv before I filmed my last comedy special.

01:35:29.000 I was prepping for the comedy special, and one of the things I like to do, I like to do Irvine, it's a big place.

01:35:33.000 You get everything tight, you get a full weekend in.

01:35:36.000 And as I was driving home, I said, let me listen to some Richard Jenney.

01:35:40.000 And I listened to Steamy Pile Me.

01:35:42.000 And I hadn't heard it in years.

01:35:43.000 And it was from 2007, I believe. 0.96

01:35:46.000 And I was fucking crying laughing, clapping in my car by myself on the way home. 0.96

01:35:52.000 I think he was one of the best ever. 0.97

01:35:54.000 And I think Hicks is a great comic.

01:35:56.000 Don't get me wrong.

01:35:56.000 I mean, he's one of the most influential and important guys ever.

01:35:59.000 But in terms of humor value, I think Richard Jenney is a So you put Jenny closer to Carlin?

01:36:06.000 Yes.

01:36:07.000 I put him above Carlin.

01:36:09.000 Wow.

01:36:10.000 To me.

01:36:11.000 Yeah, that's fine.

01:36:12.000 I kind of think Rock might too. 0.88

01:36:14.000 Rock fucking adored Jenny. 0.94

01:36:18.000 But people deduct points because it seemed like... 0.99

01:36:23.000 Yeah, because he wears a sweater with a button-up shirt. 0.97

01:36:26.000 And Carlin would wear fucking a t-shirt and like, I'm a workman artist. 0.95

01:36:32.000 Whereas Jenny was like, what are you going for? 0.99

01:36:35.000 The dentist.

01:36:35.000 Yeah.

01:36:36.000 The dentist who's off-duty.

01:36:38.000 Yeah.

01:36:38.000 And he's like tan and his hair is combed back.

01:36:44.000 Well, he had a lot of plastic surgery, too.

01:36:45.000 He kind of went a little nutty and tried to become a leading man.

01:36:49.000 Yeah.

01:36:49.000 He had a lot of issues.

01:36:51.000 But the comedy was fucking genius, man. 0.99

01:36:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:36:54.000 But people do judge people the way they look, you know? 0.99

01:36:58.000 Like...

01:36:59.000 It's a weird thing.

01:37:02.000 Whitney in her last special, her HBO special, she wore her hair down. 1.00

01:37:05.000 And she said that was a big issue.

01:37:07.000 She always wears her hair up.

01:37:10.000 And Chris wanted her to wear her hair down.

01:37:14.000 And she's like, you should have wore your hair up.

01:37:18.000 That's what you do.

01:37:19.000 You wear your hair up all the time.

01:37:21.000 Rock's argument, Rock was saying he wanted her hair down.

01:37:23.000 By the way, Rock didn't say it.

01:37:25.000 Rock just said it to someone at HBO. She should wear her hair down. 1.00

01:37:29.000 He wasn't like, I demand.

01:37:31.000 Hello, this is Chris Rock.

01:37:34.000 He was like, she should wear her hair down.

01:37:37.000 His thing was...

01:37:39.000 She reads too hard on camera.

01:37:43.000 With her hair pulled back, it's all, and her delivery is so, like, uh...

01:37:51.000 Menacing is the wrong word, but it's very forceful.

01:37:56.000 Yeah, but see, that's what I like.

01:37:58.000 Right. 0.99

01:37:58.000 I like the fact that she's like, I'm pulling my fucking hair up. 0.99

01:38:01.000 No nonsense. 0.99

01:38:02.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:38:03.000 No bullshit. 0.97

01:38:04.000 He was seeing it more from just a point of view of a director. 0.97

01:38:10.000 Yeah.

01:38:11.000 Because, dude, it matters.

01:38:12.000 It does matter, though, also to the delivery.

01:38:14.000 It matters more than you think.

01:38:15.000 But it matters more, I think, for the person delivering it that they feel comfortable.

01:38:18.000 And I think because she's a beautiful woman, I think for her, pulling her hair up is like, I'm not accentuating that at all.

01:38:26.000 I just want you to listen to what I have to say.

01:38:27.000 And that's the best way to do it.

01:38:29.000 You know, like, there's parallels.

01:38:31.000 I mean, like, if you saw a really funny woman, but she was dressing like a primetime Megyn Kelly on Fox with little tiny skirts on and her boobs showing, it's like, what are you selling? 0.99

01:38:44.000 Like, you're selling something different than just I'm a stand-up comic.

01:38:47.000 Like, you're selling I'm a sexy lady out for a night on the town, but I'm also going to tell you some jokes.

01:38:53.000 Yeah, I guess.

01:38:53.000 That's a mixed message.

01:38:54.000 Yeah, I guess.

01:38:56.000 But the thing that people don't take into account sometimes is like, you know, a lot of the successful male comics are good looking. 0.97

01:39:05.000 Tosh is fucking good looking. 0.98

01:39:06.000 He's a handsome fella, but weird gay tones, right? 1.00

01:39:09.000 Fine. 0.66

01:39:11.000 Fine.

01:39:12.000 That's the small price to pay for those looks. 1.00

01:39:15.000 You get a fucking face like that. 1.00

01:39:17.000 I love Tosh, but the reason why I said that was like, Doug Stanhope, who's a fucking maniac, wrote something crazy about Tosh in his book. 1.00

01:39:23.000 Just fucking with him. 0.99

01:39:25.000 I forget it was. 1.00

01:39:26.000 That he murders women who question his sexuality. 0.82

01:39:31.000 Stanhope went semi-Hunter S. Thompson in some of his stuff. 0.88

01:39:35.000 Clearly, obviously, he's making things up.

01:39:37.000 You have to be obviously aware.

01:39:40.000 But yeah, Tosh is obviously a good-looking guy.

01:39:42.000 Sebastian's a beautiful man.

01:39:47.000 Dave Chappelle?

01:39:49.000 I think he was better looking skinny.

01:39:52.000 Really?

01:39:53.000 Personally. 1.00

01:39:54.000 He's got some fucking guns now. 1.00

01:39:59.000 Cosby was good looking. 1.00

01:40:00.000 Pryor looked like something.

01:40:02.000 I think looks mean more than people take into account.

01:40:07.000 It's like I always say to people, no one with gray hair has ever made it as a comic.

01:40:11.000 Not never, but almost never.

01:40:16.000 Think about it.

01:40:17.000 Steve Martin and Rodney are my list.

01:40:20.000 Rodney was a cartoon old man.

01:40:22.000 I think there's something about being old, though.

01:40:24.000 You lose your exuberance and your enthusiasm.

01:40:29.000 That's a part of the aging process.

01:40:32.000 It depends on how much you cultivate your own personal energy.

01:40:35.000 How much are you paying attention to that?

01:40:37.000 How well are you taking care of your body?

01:40:38.000 I also think people are more impressed if you can come to these conclusions in 26 years.

01:40:45.000 Yeah, but you can't.

01:40:49.000 Well, a few people have.

01:40:52.000 But, like, Ron White is a gray-haired guy now.

01:40:57.000 I mean, he's deep into his 60s.

01:40:58.000 He's been, and he's like a cartoon alcoholic.

01:41:01.000 Yeah, he is a cartoon. 0.77

01:41:02.000 And a real alcoholic. 1.00

01:41:03.000 Yeah, he's legit and funny as shit. 1.00

01:41:05.000 Yeah, that motherfucker. 1.00

01:41:06.000 That motherfucker is so funny, I said to him, I was like, hey, he did a joke... 1.00

01:41:13.000 He did a joke that like, and I go, do you remember that joke where you're talking about you're in a fight with your wife and you said something? 1.00

01:41:21.000 He goes like, I don't remember.

01:41:24.000 And it's like, you don't remember? 0.99

01:41:25.000 That's a fucking, you don't remember? 1.00

01:41:29.000 Dude! 1.00

01:41:30.000 Dude!

01:41:31.000 He was telling us a story in the back room of the comedy store.

01:41:35.000 You know the back bar?

01:41:36.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:41:36.000 He was telling us a story, and I'm fucking literally in tears. 0.93

01:41:38.000 When I say he didn't remember, by the way, I'd seen him do it six weeks earlier, and he was like, I don't remember. 0.90

01:41:45.000 He was telling a story, and I was crying.

01:41:48.000 Like, tears were rolling down my face.

01:41:49.000 And I forget who else was with us.

01:41:51.000 And I go, you gotta tell that on stage.

01:41:52.000 He goes, you think?

01:41:53.000 I go, please tell that story on stage.

01:41:55.000 Please.

01:41:57.000 And he goes, eh, I don't know. 1.00

01:41:58.000 I go, just fucking tell it, it's gonna kill. 0.99

01:42:00.000 He went on stage with it that night. 0.99

01:42:03.000 He's like got a bottle of tequila, he pours himself another drink, literally goes from the back bar to the stage and closes with that.

01:42:10.000 Yeah.

01:42:11.000 Closes with it and it smashes.

01:42:13.000 Yeah.

01:42:13.000 Out of the park.

01:42:14.000 I think I may have seen a bit of it.

01:42:16.000 By the way, Jeffrey's, Jim went on.

01:42:20.000 Jim's not bad.

01:42:20.000 I mean, he's like, whatever.

01:42:21.000 He's a good looking guy.

01:42:22.000 Yeah.

01:42:25.000 Jeffries went on the other night, like, he'd been drinking all day and his friend was like, can you do stand-up drunk?

01:42:32.000 And he's like, yeah.

01:42:33.000 And he's like, I don't believe it, whatever. 0.99

01:42:34.000 And, like, Jeffries went on and fucking murdered for a half an hour. 0.99

01:42:38.000 Just, like, drunk. 0.99

01:42:39.000 Yeah.

01:42:40.000 It can be done.

01:42:41.000 God bless you.

01:42:42.000 Yeah, I mean, especially if you're feeling it.

01:42:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:42:45.000 You know, like sometimes being drunk, like as long as the momentum's in the right way, you know, like you're thinking in a good way and everything comes out and you're on the stage, ah, I got some fucking shit to talk about. 0.99

01:42:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:42:58.000 Here we go! 0.99

01:42:59.000 And then he goes in his act.

01:43:01.000 Do you drink much?

01:43:03.000 A little bit, yeah.

01:43:04.000 Do you get drunk?

01:43:05.000 No, not before I go on stage.

01:43:06.000 Very, very rarely.

01:43:07.000 I have.

01:43:08.000 It's not good.

01:43:08.000 I like a drink.

01:43:10.000 Maybe two drinks.

01:43:11.000 You know?

01:43:12.000 I get a little tipsy.

01:43:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:43:15.000 Being drunk on stage, it's not the right way to manage the ideas, but it is a good way to not give a fuck. 0.99

01:43:24.000 It's like if you have an idea and you feel so strongly about it, and you're, I mean, obviously, it so varies depending upon where you are in your life and where you are with the material, but sometimes some material just needs a little bit of, I don't give a fuck. 0.99

01:43:39.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:43:39.000 And then if you have a couple of drinks before you talk about that subject, and you're like, well, why the fuck do I have to pay attention to this? 0.99

01:43:46.000 And then it gets in a new place. 0.99

01:43:49.000 It truly jogs the brain, where it's like, here's a fucking wall. 1.00

01:43:53.000 This wall is a door. 1.00

01:43:55.000 And you're like, oh, fuck, alright. 1.00

01:43:56.000 And then you're talking some real shit. 0.99

01:43:58.000 I'm a big believer in using as many different methods as possible to explore ideas. 0.99

01:44:03.000 Whether it's the sensory deprivation tank, or pot, or psychedelics, or booze, or...

01:44:09.000 Or just going places and doing things.

01:44:11.000 And I think as I've gotten older and I'm on a schedule to put out a special every year and a half or so.

01:44:18.000 Two years now, I think.

01:44:20.000 My last one was in October, so my last one was a year and a couple months.

01:44:23.000 And I'm getting ready to film it.

01:44:26.000 In April, so it'll be about a year and a half.

01:44:28.000 That, to me, is like a good schedule.

01:44:30.000 Came out in October, or you shot it in October?

01:44:32.000 Came out in October, shot it in June.

01:44:35.000 So from shoot to shoot is about two years.

01:44:38.000 I feel like that is, if to do that, I have to do things.

01:44:43.000 I have to have experiences.

01:44:45.000 I have to force, I have to not force myself to, but I have to be consciously aware of being in action.

01:44:52.000 Things have to happen.

01:44:53.000 Yeah, like, I'm going to Vancouver next week to do Iboga. 0.99

01:45:00.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:45:01.000 And then the week after that, I'm going to Bangkok. 1.00

01:45:05.000 Is Ibogaine legal in Vancouver?

01:45:08.000 Yeah.

01:45:08.000 It is.

01:45:08.000 Beautiful.

01:45:09.000 Should be everywhere.

01:45:10.000 Yeah.

01:45:10.000 It's not something that kills people.

01:45:12.000 So we'll see.

01:45:12.000 It's supposed to be amazing for curing addictions.

01:45:15.000 Yeah.

01:45:15.000 I'm just going to see what it does for depression.

01:45:18.000 Because it's gotten way better.

01:45:19.000 Like, in the last year, the depression's gotten better.

01:45:22.000 And, uh...

01:45:23.000 Which is a weird thing from...

01:45:27.000 I hate to say that having a successful special cured my depression.

01:45:33.000 I don't want it to be that linear, but it made me... 0.97

01:45:36.000 It just got me out of fucking negative thinking. 0.92

01:45:40.000 Isn't that funny? 0.97

01:45:40.000 But I don't think there's anything wrong with you saying that. 0.97

01:45:44.000 Because I think there's a real stigma between correlating having a successful life and achievement and being happy.

01:45:51.000 Yeah.

01:45:51.000 But Ari Shaffir is a great example of that.

01:45:54.000 I think Ari, there was a chemical issue too.

01:45:56.000 Ari was on Propecia for a while.

01:46:00.000 Holding on.

01:46:01.000 Yeah, he let go.

01:46:03.000 He got off of it.

01:46:04.000 But one of the side effects of Propecia is pretty severe depression.

01:46:09.000 Ari got on some psych meds.

01:46:11.000 He got on some antidepressants.

01:46:13.000 Then his career took off and he weaned himself off the antidepressants.

01:46:18.000 And he doesn't need them anymore.

01:46:20.000 I mean, Ari's one of the happiest guys I know.

01:46:22.000 But he's also very successful.

01:46:25.000 And that's the last four, five years of his life.

01:46:29.000 It's like money can't buy you happiness.

01:46:34.000 It's true.

01:46:38.000 Validation isn't nothing.

01:46:39.000 It's not nothing.

01:46:40.000 It's like, it's, you know, esteem and the look in people's eyes and the energy people have.

01:46:47.000 And the respect of your peers.

01:46:47.000 Yes, that's what I'm saying.

01:46:48.000 Like, the look of like, oh, you're, yeah, I can't, like, you're, you're, you're legit.

01:46:55.000 You and I, when I, if I run into you, if we're passing in the hallway and, you know, you say, I love that bit that you're doing, like, ah, I'm like, I know you're a really funny guy.

01:47:07.000 You like my thing.

01:47:08.000 I get happy.

01:47:09.000 You tell me that Chris Rock said I'm a great comic.

01:47:11.000 I get happy.

01:47:13.000 Positive affirmation.

01:47:14.000 It's real.

01:47:16.000 I'm not insecure.

01:47:17.000 In fact, I go up tonight.

01:47:20.000 Am I worried?

01:47:21.000 Do I know how to do this?

01:47:22.000 No.

01:47:22.000 But you tell me someone who's really good says I'm good.

01:47:28.000 It feels good you you you feel like you're in and that's what so many of us felt like we weren't yes before we became by the way I'd like to say that goes away.

01:47:41.000 Ellen DeGeneres is a... 1.00

01:47:43.000 I shot this Netflix commercial with her and Chris and Seinfeld and Dave.

01:47:49.000 And so me and Ellen are buddies now.

01:47:53.000 And she's doing a new hour.

01:47:56.000 And she sent me 15 minutes of it.

01:47:59.000 On DVD. Like, she doesn't fuck with computers. 1.00

01:48:03.000 She doesn't email, which is like smart. 0.99

01:48:05.000 Really? 1.00

01:48:05.000 I mean, not like she doesn't fuck with computers. 1.00

01:48:07.000 She stays offline. 0.99

01:48:07.000 Like, she just doesn't. 0.99

01:48:09.000 Social media.

01:48:09.000 Yeah.

01:48:10.000 She doesn't.

01:48:11.000 Like, she'll text on her phone.

01:48:13.000 She'll Instagram, whatever.

01:48:14.000 But she sent me her 15 minutes on a DVD, and I watched it at like midnight on a Thursday.

01:48:22.000 And didn't text her, because I don't know when she goes to sleep.

01:48:27.000 And I woke up to a text from her going like, hey, did you watch it?

01:48:31.000 And I was like, yeah.

01:48:33.000 She's like, I'm starting to get...

01:48:35.000 And I go, yes. 0.98

01:48:37.000 I was like, Ellen, you're fucking hilarious. 0.98

01:48:39.000 And she wrote like, phew. 0.99

01:48:44.000 It never ends.

01:48:45.000 It never ends.

01:48:46.000 It never ends.

01:48:47.000 It can't end. 0.93

01:48:48.000 If it ends, you know, it's like, I've talked about this before, that that dream of retirement that's sailing off in the sunset is straight up horseshit.

01:48:56.000 Not for us, yeah. 0.96

01:48:57.000 It's horseshit.

01:48:58.000 You want to do good stuff, and the only way to do good stuff is to worry whether or not you're doing good stuff. 0.91

01:49:04.000 Yeah.

01:49:05.000 That's the main...

01:49:07.000 Again, I'm trying to balance...

01:49:11.000 The desire to do good stuff and having a good life.

01:49:15.000 Yes.

01:49:16.000 You know what I mean?

01:49:16.000 You have to have both.

01:49:17.000 Because that's the other thing that happened was when Charlie Murphy died this year, I was like, boy, it's a fucking... 0.99

01:49:24.000 That's like... 0.99

01:49:26.000 That was it.

01:49:27.000 Yeah.

01:49:28.000 That's it.

01:49:30.000 That's the end of him.

01:49:32.000 Right.

01:49:33.000 And like...

01:49:35.000 I want...

01:49:36.000 All I could think was, did he have fun?

01:49:38.000 Right.

01:49:38.000 You know what I mean?

01:49:39.000 Like, did he have fun?

01:49:40.000 Because that's really the only thing that matters.

01:49:42.000 All this stuff of like...

01:49:43.000 Even the best-known comic...

01:49:47.000 Isn't...

01:49:48.000 I mean, people don't think about Carlin that much anymore.

01:49:52.000 Do you know what I mean?

01:49:52.000 Yeah.

01:49:53.000 It doesn't matter.

01:49:54.000 It doesn't...

01:49:55.000 It matters to the people that you affect in a positive way, but ultimately for you, you live and then you die.

01:50:01.000 And are you enjoying being alive?

01:50:04.000 And those uncomfortable things, do they help you?

01:50:06.000 Like the uncomfortable things about Ellen, like, phew.

01:50:09.000 What that's going to do is going to allow her through that...

01:50:12.000 Weird sort of anxiety and insecurity.

01:50:14.000 It's gonna allow her to make an amazing special. 0.59

01:50:16.000 And the same thing can be said of us. 0.70

01:50:18.000 When I'm on a film in April, I am fucking terrified of writing a new act. 0.85

01:50:23.000 Because this act, when I first started it a year ago, it was like on Bambi legs. 1.00

01:50:28.000 And it was dog shit. 0.99

01:50:30.000 And I would do it at the store, and I would have bits that would just be... 1.00

01:50:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:56.000 And when I say this motherfucker murdered, this mother... 1.00

01:51:00.000 I mean, it was like, god damn. 1.00

01:51:03.000 Like, oh, that's the funniest thing she could have said, followed by that being the funniest thing she could have... 1.00

01:51:09.000 Literally, like, in a fucking... 0.99

01:51:11.000 It was like watching someone in a fight, just like, ca-ha-ha! 0.99

01:51:15.000 Ah! 1.00

01:51:15.000 Like Q&A and fucking murdering. 1.00

01:51:18.000 And the people are yelling things out? 1.00

01:51:20.000 Is that what it's called?

01:51:20.000 It was just like, Ellen, she was funny, she was mean.

01:51:27.000 Because she's a fucking comic. 1.00

01:51:29.000 She's like a fucking, you know what I mean? 1.00

01:51:31.000 You don't write jokes from kindness. 1.00

01:51:34.000 Well, yeah.

01:51:34.000 I write jokes from agitation.

01:51:36.000 I have to tell people that.

01:51:37.000 Yeah.

01:51:39.000 But she's like, she, like even people that worked on her, on her talk show were like, Jesus, that was like magic. 0.98

01:51:46.000 Like, we're just like, God damn, you are really great. 0.98

01:51:50.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:51:50.000 Talk show is censored, you know, give her an option to just do something like that. 0.99

01:51:54.000 Yeah.

01:51:54.000 You're going to see what she's really capable of.

01:51:56.000 And she's capable of being very charming and fun on the talk show. 0.83

01:52:00.000 She's really super charming.

01:52:01.000 That's what the show mostly is.

01:52:03.000 It's mostly just doing a...

01:52:05.000 She's just sweet.

01:52:07.000 Yeah.

01:52:08.000 And then as a comic, it's not just sweet.

01:52:11.000 Yeah.

01:52:12.000 It can't be.

01:52:12.000 It can't.

01:52:13.000 Literally, you can't do comedy.

01:52:15.000 I do that stand-up on the spot show.

01:52:17.000 You've done that before, right?

01:52:18.000 I did it Tuesday night, and I said something to somebody.

01:52:21.000 I go, look.

01:52:22.000 I go, I'm going to be mean.

01:52:24.000 I go, you understand that. 1.00

01:52:25.000 I don't mean this, but when you say something stupid, I have to attack you. 1.00

01:52:28.000 You have to be sacrificed for the greater good of the show. 1.00

01:52:31.000 Yeah, I'm sorry.

01:52:31.000 As long as you guys are cool with that.

01:52:33.000 Yeah, I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.

01:52:35.000 And it's not like, she's not like a dark-hearted person or whatever, but it's like, that's just kind of who, and you know, yeah, we all have this fear of like, can I do it again?

01:52:46.000 It's jumping, you're jumping over, you're Evel Knievel.

01:52:49.000 Yeah.

01:52:50.000 And it's like, there really is like a fear of like, can I clear the chasm?

01:52:56.000 And you're literally only as good as your last set.

01:53:00.000 Yeah.

01:53:01.000 If you bomb, like you better get up on stage quick and fix that. 1.00

01:53:04.000 Shit hurts. 1.00

01:53:04.000 Shit stings for 20 hours. 1.00

01:53:06.000 You better get back up there and fix it. 1.00

01:53:09.000 Yeah, side effects, mate. 0.99

01:53:10.000 You literally will sting for that shit doesn't... 0.99

01:53:14.000 And I don't think it gets better. 1.00

01:53:16.000 It doesn't get better, it gets worse.

01:53:17.000 Because then the people come to see you, they expect more of you, you have higher expectations.

01:53:21.000 You should know better.

01:53:22.000 Yeah, you should know better.

01:53:23.000 You should know better than to bomb. 0.99

01:53:24.000 What the hell is your problem? 0.97

01:53:26.000 How are you bombing still? 0.72

01:53:28.000 But the thing is, man, the development of material must be done in front of an audience.

01:53:32.000 I mean, I write on a computer and on a notebook, but the only way it really works out is in front of a crowd.

01:53:39.000 Yeah.

01:53:40.000 Yeah, there's no...

01:53:41.000 If it's not...

01:53:43.000 If they don't laugh, it's not comedy.

01:53:45.000 Yeah, and you don't really know for sure where the beats are.

01:53:49.000 You think you've got a pretty good roadmap from all your experience, but until you do it in front of a live audience, they're there to tell you So, Mulaney just did this Mark Twain thing for Letterman.

01:54:01.000 It was like the Mark Twain Prize on PBS for David Letterman.

01:54:04.000 So, it's like Steve Martin, just Bill Murray, everybody.

01:54:07.000 And John Mulaney's doing it, so he sends me his speech.

01:54:12.000 His, like, his bit.

01:54:14.000 And I'm reading it, and it's whatever.

01:54:16.000 I'm like, eh, like, whatever.

01:54:19.000 A couple ideas.

01:54:20.000 And then, so I watch it, and he did a line that, like, Killed.

01:54:27.000 Like, one of those things where they laugh for a split second and then immediately applaud. 1.00

01:54:32.000 Like, fuck laughing! 1.00

01:54:34.000 We have to go immediately to applause. 1.00

01:54:37.000 And I was watching this and I was like, I didn't even know that was a joke.

01:54:43.000 Like, when I read it, I was like, I didn't know that was a joke.

01:54:46.000 So I text Malini, I go, did you, was that a punchline to you?

01:54:51.000 And he goes, nope.

01:54:53.000 Nope.

01:54:54.000 Had no idea. 0.99

01:54:55.000 Two guys with a lot of experience, no fucking idea. 0.99

01:54:58.000 And he got an applause break. 0.98

01:55:00.000 Like, the highlight of his part.

01:55:03.000 That's so crazy.

01:55:03.000 Didn't even know it was a joke.

01:55:05.000 And that's what an audience does, that you can't, like, oh, now we're doing comedy.

01:55:09.000 I thought that was a straight, I thought that was just a metaphor.

01:55:12.000 You know, I have an app on my phone, the sound app, the voice notes app, and you can look at it, you can edit the voice notes, and when you go into the edit mode, See the spikes. 0.64

01:55:25.000 And so I'm going over this one bit, and I look, and there's this giant fucking spike in this Harvey Weinstein bit that I have.

01:55:35.000 And then I realized that the giant spike is something that I didn't even know was a punchline when I wrote it. 0.93

01:55:41.000 I was trying to set something else up, but the way it played out, it got the biggest fucking laugh of the entire bit.

01:55:47.000 And then you have to act like you meant to do that. 0.90

01:55:49.000 Like, oh, that old thing... 0.99

01:55:50.000 I'm like, how the fuck did that? 0.99

01:55:52.000 And then I got off stage and Tony Hinchcliffe said to go, dude, that fucking line is so funny. 0.99

01:55:56.000 I'm like, man, I didn't even know that was going to be funny. 0.98

01:55:58.000 I'll tell you.

01:55:59.000 I'll tell you off stage. 0.99

01:56:01.000 I was saying, you did a thing that I was like, that's a fucking... 0.99

01:56:07.000 Oh, the thing that I like that you said about it is like, sometimes rapists just look like rapists. 0.99

01:56:14.000 Right?

01:56:14.000 Oh, that's right.

01:56:15.000 I'm hardly doing that anymore.

01:56:17.000 Yeah, like they say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover.

01:56:19.000 Yeah, but like, yeah.

01:56:20.000 But yeah, sometimes...

01:56:21.000 Your instincts are dead right.

01:56:23.000 That guy. 0.99

01:56:24.000 Yeah, that guy looks like he rapes. 1.00

01:56:25.000 He looks like a fucking total piece of shit. 1.00

01:56:27.000 I mean, what a trap it would be if you looked like that and you weren't a piece of shit. 1.00

01:56:30.000 You're like, I'm really a nice guy. 1.00

01:56:32.000 I'm the sweetest guy ever.

01:56:34.000 Yeah, so there's literally no knowing until you do it.

01:56:39.000 No.

01:56:40.000 It's a weird art form in that regard.

01:56:42.000 You know, I was talking to Chris Stapleton about that.

01:56:44.000 I was saying, you write all your music.

01:56:47.000 And then you perform it to the audience, it's done.

01:56:50.000 And I'm like, for a comic, that's so rare.

01:56:53.000 It's so rare that I write a bit that comes out perfect.

01:56:56.000 And then I bring it to the stage, and it literally mirrors what I wrote down.

01:57:01.000 Yeah.

01:57:02.000 I mean, sometimes, but it's never...

01:57:05.000 There's also a thing...

01:57:07.000 I was reading something, or listening to something, where your brain...

01:57:14.000 Adrenaline will make your brain... 1.00

01:57:18.000 Do different shit. 1.00

01:57:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:57:20.000 Meaning, so you need to put your... 0.99

01:57:22.000 You need to...

01:57:24.000 Like, you can have the map.

01:57:25.000 You can have your plan.

01:57:27.000 But then adrenaline will be like...

01:57:29.000 It's like you ever watch somebody...

01:57:31.000 Dave did something.

01:57:34.000 Did you see that Def Comedy Jam 25th anniversary thing?

01:57:37.000 No.

01:57:37.000 It's not very good.

01:57:38.000 But it's on Netflix.

01:57:40.000 But here's the good news.

01:57:42.000 It's not very good.

01:57:43.000 There's a sequence where Chappelle and D.L. Hughley are on.

01:57:48.000 And Chappelle is so fucking funny, it's truly breathtaking. 0.95

01:57:54.000 And he's improvising the whole thing. 0.98

01:57:56.000 And it's like, so fucking breathtaking. 0.94

01:57:59.000 And I was there with Jimmy Carr, the comedian, and I was like, when I'm impressed by Dave, it's like, he must, because I fucking know him so well. 1.00

01:58:06.000 And I was like, this motherfucker's like... 1.00

01:58:08.000 And he's like, yes, but don't discount, don't assume that you couldn't have done something because adrenaline does make your brain do shit. 1.00

01:58:16.000 It kind of makes it like superhuman. 0.97

01:58:19.000 Yeah.

01:58:19.000 And super like, like make logic leaps that you wouldn't.

01:58:24.000 But I, in my, in my line of way, in like my, I, that's maybe 10% ultimately of like, it's 90% written and then I'll 10% say, come on with some on stage.

01:58:34.000 Yeah, when I'm intoxicated, I'm more willing to take these big leaps and go into new rooms.

01:58:42.000 Take new paths off of stuff.

01:58:44.000 I'll take a wild, especially marijuana.

01:58:47.000 There's something about being high, if I'm doing a bit, especially a new bit, where I'll go, what about his mom?

01:58:54.000 How does his mom feel about this? 0.99

01:58:56.000 That bitch has got to be like, what did I do? 1.00

01:58:58.000 And then you'll have this whole other angle that it's almost like, In the moment, it shows itself. 1.00

01:59:05.000 And then you have to chase it down.

01:59:07.000 You have to have the courage to chase it down live in front of a bunch of people that paid to hear you talk.

01:59:11.000 Yeah.

01:59:12.000 And that's the risk.

01:59:14.000 That's where hubris comes in.

01:59:17.000 That's where it's like, yeah, I know you paid.

01:59:20.000 Yeah.

01:59:21.000 This is how it's got to be done.

01:59:23.000 One of the good things about comedy today is because of all these kind of conversations that we have, people sort of understand the process and particularly the comedy story.

01:59:29.000 People like love the process.

01:59:30.000 Yeah, they want to see the process play out.

01:59:32.000 Like I've talked to a guy the other day that was like, I came to see you while you were doing that Bruce Jenner thing, and I saw it through all its incarnations.

01:59:41.000 I saw the early part was kind of clunky, and then I saw it where it became the finished thing, which is your closing bid on the special.

01:59:47.000 Yeah.

01:59:47.000 And he was like, I saw you over a period of like three times over eight months.

01:59:50.000 He was like, it was really interesting.

01:59:52.000 Yeah.

01:59:52.000 Like, they like it.

01:59:53.000 They're comedy nerds.

01:59:54.000 Yeah.

01:59:54.000 Yes.

01:59:55.000 Chappelle thinks that's because of alternative comedy.

02:00:00.000 He believes that one of the great things about alt comedy was it brought people into the process.

02:00:09.000 Hmm.

02:00:10.000 And I think he's right.

02:00:11.000 I think it's that end podcast.

02:00:13.000 Yeah, I think podcasts more so, because obviously way more people listen to podcasts than go to see alternative comedy shows.

02:00:19.000 I mean, if you have one or two alternative comedy shows in the city, it's a big deal, like in LA. I mean, how many are going on a night?

02:00:25.000 Three?

02:00:26.000 So you've got like, what, 900 people maybe that are seeing alternative comedy in a night?

02:00:31.000 Whereas podcasts, thousands and thousands and thousands, if not millions and millions.

02:00:36.000 I think that there's a bunch of things going on, though, too.

02:00:38.000 It's like, when you become a fan of it, like, I'm a fan of music, and I don't really, like, one of the things about having Chris Stapleton in is, I just wanted to ask him, like, how do you write jokes?

02:00:49.000 Like, where do they come from?

02:00:50.000 Yeah, I always ask that. 0.80

02:00:51.000 It's such a dumb question, but it's like, I don't have any idea what that's like. 0.83

02:00:55.000 I mean, I said jokes, I meant songs. 0.97

02:00:57.000 Yeah.

02:00:58.000 How do you, you know, where does the music come from?

02:01:00.000 Do you have like a beat in your head?

02:01:01.000 I mean, and his answer was there's a bunch of different ways he does it.

02:01:05.000 You know, sometimes he's just in his car and the thought just comes to him and he starts singing into his phone.

02:01:09.000 Yeah.

02:01:10.000 You know?

02:01:10.000 Yeah, that's the...

02:01:12.000 Mullaney did a joke, or it's like an anecdote in his act, so I won't blow it, but like...

02:01:19.000 Mick Jagger was hosting SNL, and so Mulaney was writing a song with him, and Mulaney pitched something, and Mick Jagger goes, No!

02:01:30.000 And he goes, not funny!

02:01:32.000 Wow.

02:01:34.000 That's brutal.

02:01:34.000 And then he fits like a lateral movement.

02:01:36.000 He's like, yes.

02:01:38.000 But it's like, okay. 1.00

02:01:39.000 I guess this is fucking songwriting. 0.99

02:01:42.000 Different than what I thought. 1.00

02:01:43.000 When you're Mick Jagger, you could kind of just say whatever the fuck you want. 0.99

02:01:45.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:01:46.000 I mean, you're like a seven-year-old man who just had a baby.

02:01:49.000 Yeah.

02:01:49.000 He's shooting loads into models in Brazil and all over the world.

02:01:52.000 He just does whatever the fuck he wants. 0.98

02:01:53.000 Do you find, speaking of which, because I was saying to somebody... 0.99

02:01:58.000 In light of the Cosby...

02:02:01.000 The thing where people become...

02:02:06.000 I was saying, like, I always say beware of a moral arbiter.

02:02:11.000 Beware of a moral pillar, because why are you doing this?

02:02:14.000 Right.

02:02:15.000 Like, what benefit...

02:02:16.000 You're not doing it for society.

02:02:18.000 You're not trying to benefit.

02:02:19.000 You're not trying to sell the good word. 0.99

02:02:21.000 You're literally just being a superior dickhead. 0.99

02:02:24.000 Right. 0.99

02:02:25.000 Which was Cosby's move.

02:02:27.000 100%.

02:02:27.000 Do you think...

02:02:30.000 Have you noticed what...

02:02:36.000 What adulation has done to your personality?

02:02:42.000 Have you noticed a little creep? 0.96

02:02:44.000 Have you noticed a creep of like, oh, that's shitty, you know what I mean?

02:02:51.000 I don't, and by the way, I'm not saying this like, because I can think of one, Joe.

02:02:55.000 I'm just saying like, are there moments where you're like, oh, like, because I don't know, you're more popular than, you know what I mean, like, than I am.

02:03:04.000 So I'm just wondering, like, have you noticed anything happening that you were like, eh, that's interesting.

02:03:10.000 You've got to be careful of it, for sure. 0.97

02:03:12.000 I think I felt it a lot more when I was younger, or, you know, just dumber. 0.95

02:03:19.000 I think you're just always aware... 0.96

02:03:22.000 The worst thing that you could do as a comic is lose your objectivity.

02:03:28.000 Like, whatever objectivity you have, let it slip away instead of let it increase.

02:03:32.000 I think in order to be a good comic, you have to be introspective.

02:03:36.000 It's objectivity until it's very subjective.

02:03:39.000 Yeah.

02:03:39.000 Until you're sure of it.

02:03:41.000 Right. 1.00

02:03:41.000 And then it's like, no, fuck you. 1.00

02:03:43.000 Right. 1.00

02:03:43.000 That's where the hubris comes in. 1.00

02:03:45.000 Yeah.

02:03:46.000 I mean, I just think...

02:03:48.000 Perspective, you know, I mean that's one of the reasons why I like pot because it makes me insecure.

02:03:53.000 Yeah Legitimately I like I like that in every ability in every like insecure define insecure Vulnerability like insecure about the future about life itself about like realizing like wow like at any moment now fucking earthquake can happen at any moment now we get hit by an asteroid and The cells in my body literally only have about 50 years left of life if I'm lucky.

02:04:15.000 If everything works out great.

02:04:17.000 You know, all that stuff.

02:04:18.000 You know, worrying about my children, worrying about my family, worrying about, you know, all those things are real.

02:04:24.000 You know, those sort of vulnerabilities, they're highlighted by marijuana.

02:04:29.000 The awareness of your own Imminent demise and just life itself being so fucking uber bizarre like all those things are highlighted by marijuana Which is one of the things I like about it that ruthless Introspective quality of pot that people call paranoia.

02:04:46.000 I get paranoid.

02:04:47.000 Well, I just think that's hyper awareness Yeah, which is why like hugs feel so good when you're high if you're high and you hug someone like ah It feels so warm.

02:05:00.000 Food feels better.

02:05:01.000 It's like you're way more aware.

02:05:02.000 I work out high.

02:05:04.000 One of my favorite things to do is, I did it yesterday.

02:05:06.000 I had this meeting here.

02:05:08.000 I did a podcast and after meeting, I had like two hours before the meeting.

02:05:13.000 So I smoked a joint and then I hit the bag.

02:05:15.000 I just went over to the heavy bag and it worked out for like 45 minutes and just, man, it's like you're so aware of all the muscle tissue moving.

02:05:23.000 You like feel your body different.

02:05:25.000 It's like, especially for me, like for martial arts techniques, I'm really aware of the correct way to utilize leverage and weight.

02:05:33.000 It all comes together.

02:05:34.000 It's just hyper-awareness.

02:05:36.000 That hyper-awareness also makes you hyper-focused on yourself and your flaws and the way you interact with people.

02:05:43.000 I never feel confident.

02:05:46.000 When I smoke a lot of pot, I always feel vulnerable and I always feel like I should, like, apologize to people for something. 0.54

02:05:53.000 It's always like something that happened like a month ago, like, ah, why was I a dick about that? 0.87

02:05:56.000 You feel like a woman, basically. 0.95

02:05:58.000 Exactly.

02:05:58.000 Feel emotional.

02:05:59.000 Vulnerable and constantly apologizing.

02:06:02.000 Well, that's one of the reasons why a lot of people don't think of marijuana as being a manly thing.

02:06:06.000 You know, marijuana is, like, very feminine. 0.95

02:06:07.000 In a lot of ways.

02:06:08.000 Very nurturing.

02:06:09.000 It's really a community sort of a drug in the sense that it's not something you want to be by yourself with.

02:06:15.000 It's something you want to be like with a community of friends.

02:06:18.000 It makes you very...

02:06:19.000 It's a friendly drug.

02:06:22.000 Yeah.

02:06:22.000 That's what I realized.

02:06:23.000 I never really...

02:06:25.000 I'd gotten drunk...

02:06:25.000 I got drunk in 2005...

02:06:29.000 And I realized, like, oh, this is the value.

02:06:32.000 What I realized is, it's all of us sit in a rowboat, and we just slowly shoot holes in the boat.

02:06:38.000 And we all just slowly sink at the same, we're just getting drained, you're just sinking and sinking, but you're doing it together.

02:06:44.000 Right.

02:06:45.000 So it's, like, nice.

02:06:46.000 Yeah.

02:06:47.000 And that's what it sounds like you're describing weed as, like, you're being vulnerable, collective vulnerability.

02:06:52.000 The alcohol's gonna come at a price.

02:06:55.000 There's no real price for the weed.

02:06:56.000 Yeah.

02:06:57.000 For me, at least.

02:06:58.000 I don't have the price.

02:06:59.000 When it's over, I feel fine.

02:07:00.000 Like, I don't feel like, like, oh my god, my head's pounding. 0.99

02:07:03.000 What the fuck did I do last night? 0.98

02:07:05.000 Like, that I got drunk with my buddies thing. 0.99

02:07:07.000 We had the best time.

02:07:08.000 We were laughing and high-fiving and howling and crying laughing.

02:07:12.000 But then the next morning, like, oh my god.

02:07:15.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:07:16.000 Your head's fucking pounding. 1.00

02:07:18.000 Pot doesn't give you that part, you know? 1.00

02:07:20.000 Yeah.

02:07:20.000 What was the...

02:07:21.000 So you had gone through a series of ketamine therapy.

02:07:25.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:07:26.000 I did the TMS, the...

02:07:29.000 Because I was looking to...

02:07:31.000 Last time I was here was the last August.

02:07:33.000 Was that transdermal magnetic stimulation?

02:07:34.000 Transcranial magnetic stimulation.

02:07:35.000 Okay.

02:07:36.000 Which worked.

02:07:37.000 And then the problem was...

02:07:39.000 And I think...

02:07:40.000 I don't know if I talked about it on here or not.

02:07:42.000 Someone gave me some HGH. Did I tell you that?

02:07:45.000 Human growth hormone.

02:07:46.000 Yeah.

02:07:47.000 Basically, so I did...

02:07:50.000 TMS which transcranial magnetic simulation 45 sessions it worked great like it literally I stopped taking it takes like 35 minutes and they just put like electrodes on yours yeah, I think I have video they put they put They yeah,

02:08:07.000 they put video on Chris Rock sends me every single rape thing. 1.00

02:08:18.000 Oh my god.

02:08:20.000 Everything that comes out?

02:08:21.000 Every page six.

02:08:23.000 Literally, he sent me probably 25 of these.

02:08:25.000 I don't know.

02:08:26.000 It's just like a thing now.

02:08:27.000 Because then we go like...

02:08:28.000 It's just like literally...

02:08:30.000 It's just like a ticker. 1.00

02:08:31.000 It's so fucking money. 0.99

02:08:33.000 There's so many guys. 0.99

02:08:34.000 Mario Batali.

02:08:36.000 And by the way, the more salacious they can make these stories, the better.

02:08:39.000 They were talking about some room that Mario would take people up to, and the third floor is the rape room. 1.00

02:08:43.000 I'm like, what in the fuck? 0.99

02:08:45.000 You know what makes me laugh is the... 1.00

02:08:46.000 Oh, you have it.

02:08:47.000 Yeah.

02:08:48.000 You know what makes me laugh is the...

02:08:51.000 The pictures of Louie got progressively worse and worse.

02:08:54.000 Oh, the ones they could find?

02:08:56.000 Yeah, like the New York Times.

02:08:58.000 I was waiting for them to just put up a picture of Lee Harvey Oswald.

02:09:02.000 You don't have to find the shittiest, the guiltiest looking picture.

02:09:06.000 Well, there's so much video of him beating off.

02:09:09.000 Like, air beating off, you know?

02:09:11.000 Play that video.

02:09:12.000 Like, this is you going through the treatment?

02:09:14.000 Is this from the last time I was here, or this is online?

02:09:16.000 This is from last time you were here.

02:09:17.000 Yeah.

02:09:17.000 Oh, man.

02:09:20.000 Wow, look at that, man.

02:09:21.000 Give me some volume.

02:09:23.000 And then so I went to this.

02:09:25.000 Whoa, dude.

02:09:27.000 That sound is like an MRI sound.

02:09:30.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

02:09:31.000 Yes.

02:09:32.000 That's right.

02:09:33.000 We talked about it the last time we were here.

02:09:36.000 But, okay, so then the problem was after that I did HGH. Someone gave me some HGH. And I was like, yeah, I'll fucking take it.

02:09:42.000 I don't give a shit. 1.00

02:09:43.000 Yeah, I'll take HGH. I'm always looking for an advantage. 0.99

02:09:46.000 And I started having panic attacks.

02:09:48.000 From HGH? Yes.

02:09:50.000 Which is a, it's a narrow side effect, but it's one of the side effects of HGH. Basically, it like supercharged my whole system.

02:09:57.000 I started having panic attacks on stage.

02:10:00.000 Whoa.

02:10:00.000 I had a panic attack the night before I taped three mics.

02:10:03.000 What?

02:10:04.000 I couldn't go on stage.

02:10:06.000 Spade was supposed to bring me on, and I told Adam, I was like, I can't go on.

02:10:11.000 I literally couldn't breathe.

02:10:13.000 Whoa, the night before you're filming? 1.00

02:10:15.000 What a mindfuck! 1.00

02:10:17.000 But you killed it! 1.00

02:10:18.000 Yes, I thankfully didn't get one that night. 0.88

02:10:21.000 Oh my gosh.

02:10:22.000 Dude, trust me.

02:10:23.000 Trust me.

02:10:24.000 And then I had anxiety...

02:10:27.000 For months literally like just like when people say I have anxiety I'd never had anxiety I was like I'm not an anxious person I wouldn't even know what that's like it's fucking miserable it's to me it was worse than depression because you're agitated and like you just feel like static it just was like a static over your body it was like you're you just have like this like cortisol snow And it sucked.

02:10:57.000 So I went back on Zoloft.

02:11:02.000 And then it ended the anxiety.

02:11:05.000 Now, but you were trying to get yourself off of that stuff.

02:11:07.000 Yeah, so now I'm going to go...

02:11:09.000 I'm back on...

02:11:10.000 I just stopped taking Zoloft like two weeks ago.

02:11:13.000 How do you feel?

02:11:14.000 Because you can't...

02:11:14.000 I feel actually really good.

02:11:16.000 Because...

02:11:16.000 Oh, here's what I didn't say.

02:11:17.000 I also micro-dosed...

02:11:20.000 Do-do-do.

02:11:21.000 While I was on Zoloft, I micro-dosed shrooms like three times. 0.99

02:11:27.000 Yeah.

02:11:27.000 Which is actually like pretty fun.

02:11:30.000 Yeah.

02:11:31.000 It's super fun.

02:11:31.000 But it's like not...

02:11:33.000 Daunting.

02:11:34.000 It's not trippy.

02:11:36.000 Right.

02:11:37.000 You're not like, whoa.

02:11:37.000 You just feel really good.

02:11:38.000 Yeah, you just feel good.

02:11:39.000 I did that three times.

02:11:40.000 I did LSD once.

02:11:42.000 And I'm thinking, so now I'm going off.

02:11:45.000 And an interesting thing happened when I micro-dosed.

02:11:49.000 I got significantly less angry.

02:11:53.000 Just as like an operating principle.

02:11:56.000 Like I was just like, oh, I'm less angry. 0.89

02:11:58.000 Like I just didn't feel as like snappy and shitty. 0.95

02:12:04.000 Like... 0.82

02:12:05.000 For a long, for like, over a big period.

02:12:09.000 I got a buddy of mine who's a world champion kickboxer.

02:12:11.000 He microdoses and he fights on it.

02:12:13.000 Fights high on mushrooms.

02:12:15.000 Do they test for it?

02:12:16.000 Nope.

02:12:18.000 That's fine. 0.99

02:12:18.000 Fucking people up while he's on mushrooms. 0.99

02:12:20.000 That's great. 0.99

02:12:20.000 And I mean, better than he's ever looked in his past. 0.99

02:12:23.000 He said he could see things coming before they happen.

02:12:26.000 He said he literally feels like he's got some sort of psychic ability when he's sparring.

02:12:29.000 Like he sees what guys are doing.

02:12:31.000 And if you watch him fight, he just looks way sharper than he's ever looked before.

02:12:35.000 And homeboy's doing mushrooms.

02:12:37.000 Yeah.

02:12:37.000 So I've stopped taking Zoloft because you can't be on it and do Ibogaine.

02:12:46.000 Oh, interesting.

02:12:47.000 Because you risk serotonin syndrome, which is like too much serotonin in your body.

02:12:52.000 Yeah, too much serotonin.

02:12:53.000 Well, you were the first guy to tell me about 5-HTP before we even started selling it at all.

02:12:59.000 Before we started having a new mood.

02:13:01.000 You were telling me about 5-HTP. Sandy Danto told me about it.

02:13:05.000 No shit. 0.99

02:13:06.000 Yeah, because he sold me some ecstasy and he was like, yeah, and also take this the next day. 0.99

02:13:13.000 And then I researched and I was like, oh, I should just take...

02:13:15.000 So I still take that.

02:13:17.000 5-HTP I think is good for weight loss.

02:13:20.000 Really?

02:13:21.000 When I take 5-HTP I'm just not hungry.

02:13:25.000 That was the other sort of weird side effect of the microdosing.

02:13:31.000 My appetite went down, like, significantly across the board.

02:13:36.000 I wonder how much of the appetite is not really how much food you need, but rather you need something to do.

02:13:42.000 Yeah, or it's just like, at this time of day, I do this.

02:13:49.000 But I ended up losing 10 pounds.

02:13:51.000 That's interesting.

02:13:52.000 Me.

02:13:53.000 You're a thin guy.

02:13:55.000 I've lost 12 pounds, from 159 to 147. Wow.

02:14:00.000 Yeah.

02:14:00.000 But it's not like...

02:14:03.000 I'm not starving myself or anything.

02:14:05.000 Right, you didn't feel uncomfortable.

02:14:06.000 No, not at all.

02:14:07.000 Yeah.

02:14:10.000 Do you monitor your diet?

02:14:11.000 Are you eating healthy?

02:14:13.000 Yeah, like I got my blood tested probably three months ago and everything was good.

02:14:19.000 Are you eating sugar and bread and things like that?

02:14:22.000 I've eaten...

02:14:23.000 I've stopped...

02:14:26.000 I've eaten, I used to be a big dessert person, and I kind of just like, I think the mushrooms might have made me just go like, eh, you don't need that.

02:14:36.000 You don't.

02:14:37.000 You really don't.

02:14:38.000 And the sugar, you know the thing with sugar is, you don't eat it for three days if you don't want it. 0.99

02:14:42.000 Your body doesn't like, you gotta fucking get us some sugar. 1.00

02:14:45.000 You're just like, eh. 1.00

02:14:47.000 Once you cut free.

02:14:49.000 And especially if you're really conscious about what you're eating in terms of probiotics and things that sort of help the landscape, the biome landscape and make sure you've got healthy things in there.

02:15:02.000 I think that's so significant and the more researchers that I talk to and the more people that are nutrition experts to start talking about Your gut biome and how important it is to take the proper probiotics.

02:15:15.000 I think it affects your personality.

02:15:17.000 I think it affects your immune system.

02:15:18.000 I think it affects virtually the path of your life that you take.

02:15:22.000 Depending upon what foods you eat, it has a different effect on how you live your life.

02:15:27.000 Well, meditation does the same thing because you get a feeling from meditation.

02:15:32.000 And then you're like, do I want to spoil this?

02:15:35.000 Right. 0.98

02:15:35.000 With, like, garbage thinking or behavior? 0.98

02:15:38.000 Right. 0.96

02:15:38.000 Like, let me just try to bring a bit of that into my everyday. 0.96

02:15:43.000 Yeah.

02:15:43.000 I mean, that's the tank for me.

02:15:45.000 Yeah.

02:15:45.000 The tank is to me...

02:15:49.000 Until you, and I'm like, I live like a block from Float Lab.

02:15:54.000 You gotta go.

02:15:55.000 Like, I went, I think, you must, how long have you been doing this?

02:16:00.000 2002 was the first time I got one.

02:16:03.000 I tried it once before.

02:16:04.000 When did you start doing the podcast?

02:16:06.000 I think you told me about it.

02:16:08.000 2008?

02:16:09.000 You told me about it.

02:16:11.000 I went to Float Lab.

02:16:14.000 Had the thought in the tank, you gotta love something.

02:16:20.000 Literally, that was the thought I had, and then I got a dog. 0.99

02:16:24.000 Literally, I was like, I fucking... 1.00

02:16:26.000 I like that shit. 1.00

02:16:29.000 And I just forget that it exists. 1.00

02:16:32.000 Tanks?

02:16:33.000 Yeah.

02:16:33.000 I think they're giant.

02:16:34.000 I think it's one of those things that requires you to block off a chunk of your time.

02:16:38.000 So if you're a busy person, it's hard to pull that off.

02:16:41.000 But I think it's one of the most important things you can do.

02:16:43.000 How often do you do it?

02:16:44.000 Well, I haven't done it in a long time because I took the one out of my basement and I had it installed here.

02:16:50.000 Got it.

02:16:50.000 So it took me a few times off and we just got it put in two days ago.

02:16:54.000 So I haven't even been in it.

02:16:55.000 So I haven't been a tank at all in three months.

02:16:59.000 Oh, wow.

02:16:59.000 Two months?

02:17:00.000 Two months?

02:17:01.000 Someone like that?

02:17:01.000 How often do you think you'll do it now?

02:17:03.000 A couple days a week.

02:17:04.000 A couple days a week is good.

02:17:05.000 If I can give myself two days a week, I'm happy.

02:17:08.000 Do you ever go in and just think about your daughters?

02:17:11.000 Yeah.

02:17:13.000 Sure, yeah.

02:17:14.000 I don't have a plan.

02:17:17.000 Sometimes I have a plan.

02:17:18.000 Maybe I'll have a bit that I'm trying to work out, and I'm just like, this bit is just clunky.

02:17:23.000 There's a part of it that's clunky.

02:17:24.000 I'll smoke some pot and climb in that tank and think about it. 0.99

02:17:30.000 There's like a pre- Fucking syllabus for the Ibogaine. 0.98

02:17:38.000 And it's like, you need to come with questions for Ibogaine. 0.98

02:17:43.000 Whoa.

02:17:44.000 For Sweet Lady Ibogaine.

02:17:46.000 Whoa.

02:17:47.000 And it's, I'm like, I have to write.

02:17:49.000 And then a friend of mine was like, can you ask a question for me?

02:17:52.000 It's like, no, I don't think that's legal.

02:17:54.000 I keep being like, hey, so, well, Lucy...

02:17:56.000 Lucy needs advice on her new book, man.

02:18:00.000 So Lucy's curious about what's going on with her feet.

02:18:03.000 Yeah.

02:18:05.000 Yeah, but I'm looking forward to asking big questions.

02:18:11.000 Although, I gotta say, the last year has been very revealing for me in terms of what's important, what's valuable.

02:18:18.000 So how much of an effect did having a dog have on you?

02:18:21.000 Getting a dog something you love, you come home to?

02:18:25.000 Probably like 15-20%. 0.99

02:18:27.000 He's just a fucking good dude to have around. 0.99

02:18:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:18:30.000 Do you see that?

02:18:30.000 There was an article a couple weeks ago about dogs are so inbred that they're basically retarded.

02:18:38.000 They have some...

02:18:41.000 Jamie, will you look it up?

02:18:42.000 Because they have some...

02:18:45.000 We've just piles of piles of piles and generations of inbreeding that they have this disease that's tantamount to Down Syndrome.

02:18:55.000 That all dogs have this?

02:18:56.000 Yeah.

02:18:57.000 Really?

02:18:58.000 Wow.

02:19:00.000 Other than, yeah, I would assume other than the most highly trained German Shepherds are like, I'm not like them. 0.98

02:19:06.000 I've got a golden retriever that's a year old now, and when I come home, he's the only one that's awake.

02:19:12.000 I'll come home from the store, everybody else to sleep, and I come home like, my dude!

02:19:18.000 Dude, what's up?

02:19:19.000 And he's running around me and whining and kissing me.

02:19:22.000 Yeah, just feels good. 0.99

02:19:24.000 Just fucking good dudes. 0.97

02:19:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:19:28.000 I'd take him running.

02:19:29.000 Yeah, I've seen your videos.

02:19:31.000 That's one of my favorite things.

02:19:31.000 I love doing that.

02:19:32.000 And he loves it?

02:19:33.000 Oh, he loves it.

02:19:34.000 He gets so excited.

02:19:35.000 He hates going to my truck, but he'll go up to the truck like he knows.

02:19:39.000 Yeah.

02:19:39.000 And then I'm like, come on in.

02:19:40.000 He won't hop in himself, but I'll pick him up like he knows he's gonna have a good time once he gets in there.

02:19:45.000 Yeah.

02:19:45.000 How long is the ride?

02:19:47.000 Just a few minutes.

02:19:48.000 It's not that bad.

02:19:50.000 Does he really?

02:19:51.000 He'll throw up if it's longer.

02:19:52.000 I've taken him on a 20-minute ride before and eventually he'll chuck.

02:19:56.000 He gets car sick.

02:19:58.000 Did you see that picture of somebody took a selfie while their dog was throwing up? 1.00

02:20:04.000 Holy shit, this is funny. 0.99

02:20:08.000 Golden Retrievers though, man, he's the first Golden Retriever I've had. 0.99

02:20:11.000 They are lovely dogs.

02:20:13.000 They're so sweet.

02:20:15.000 They're just like bundles of affection and happiness.

02:20:19.000 And he's smart, man.

02:20:20.000 Yeah.

02:20:21.000 Like, he's really easy to train.

02:20:23.000 He wants you to like him.

02:20:25.000 He wants you to be happy.

02:20:26.000 And so, like, when he finds the things that you'll be happy about, he, you know, he gravitates towards those.

02:20:34.000 Yeah.

02:20:34.000 That's...

02:20:35.000 Hold on.

02:20:36.000 They're such good dogs, man.

02:20:38.000 I mean, I've had a bunch of different kinds of dogs in my life, and I'm a big dog fan, but I'm just particularly impressed with Golden Retrievers.

02:20:45.000 Just so nice.

02:20:47.000 And he's so great with my kids, too.

02:20:49.000 That's the other thing.

02:20:50.000 He's just a big love bug.

02:20:52.000 My dog...

02:20:53.000 What do you got, Jamie?

02:20:55.000 Oh my god.

02:20:57.000 Oh my god, that picture's hilarious.

02:20:59.000 She caught the dog mid-hurl. 0.99

02:21:02.000 Goddamn it, that made me laugh so goddamn hard. 0.99

02:21:02.000 Oh my god, my dog threw up while I was taking a selfie. 0.99

02:21:08.000 What is the gal's name? 1.00

02:21:11.000 It's not?

02:21:12.000 It looks like I reposted it.

02:21:14.000 Oh, okay.

02:21:15.000 A repost.

02:21:16.000 Yeah.

02:21:16.000 Oh, there's a few.

02:21:17.000 Is it?

02:21:18.000 What does it say up there?

02:21:20.000 Likely.

02:21:21.000 Like?

02:21:22.000 L-Y-K-K-E underscore L-I. Ah, that's a fucking hilarious meme. 0.99

02:21:28.000 Goddammit, that made me laugh so goddamn hard. 1.00

02:21:30.000 That is pretty fucking funny. 1.00

02:21:32.000 What kind of dog you got? 0.99

02:21:34.000 Pitbull.

02:21:35.000 Oh, there was another thing.

02:21:36.000 You know what else helped with negative thoughts?

02:21:38.000 It's a thing called, uh...

02:21:39.000 Murder? 0.99

02:21:42.000 He kills homeless people for you. 0.99

02:21:44.000 Cognitive behavioral therapy. 0.68

02:21:47.000 And it was basically, like, it's...

02:21:51.000 This made me laugh.

02:21:53.000 It's so dead-on.

02:21:55.000 They just have unhelpful thinking styles.

02:21:59.000 Jamie, you can bring this up, too, actually.

02:22:01.000 There's a chart.

02:22:03.000 One of them's all-or-nothing thinking, or black-and-white thinking, something like, if I'm not perfect, I've failed.

02:22:10.000 Either I do it right or not at all. 1.00

02:22:13.000 Just, like, dumb shit. 1.00

02:22:14.000 So anytime I think these things, there's gonna, no, you're disqualified. 1.00

02:22:17.000 Like, you gotta go.

02:22:19.000 Okay.

02:22:19.000 Mental filter.

02:22:20.000 Only paying attention to certain types of evidence.

02:22:23.000 Noticing our failures, but not seeing our successes.

02:22:27.000 Jumping to conclusions.

02:22:36.000 I'm thinking overgeneralizing. 0.97

02:22:39.000 Everything is always rubbish.

02:22:41.000 Nothing good ever happens.

02:22:42.000 A lot of these are literally just like comedy.

02:22:45.000 How do you make comedy?

02:22:46.000 Yeah, you have to exaggerate.

02:22:48.000 Jump to conclusions.

02:22:49.000 But they can be really destructive On a personal level.

02:22:55.000 You know what I mean?

02:22:56.000 Oh yeah, for sure.

02:22:57.000 But I think everybody needs something difficult to do on top of what they already do.

02:23:02.000 This is my theory about stand-up comedy.

02:23:05.000 One of the ways that I've sort of tightened up my game over the last few years is to concentrate on difficult things outside of comedy.

02:23:13.000 Whether it's martial arts or whether it's yoga or bow hunting is another one for me.

02:23:19.000 Doing things that are very difficult makes comedy a little bit easier.

02:23:23.000 How come?

02:23:24.000 Because it's relatively easier?

02:23:26.000 Yeah, relatively easier, but also you recognize like...

02:23:30.000 It doesn't seem like bow hunting and stand-up comedy would ever go together.

02:23:35.000 But the way they go together is an absolute reality in bow hunting. 0.85

02:23:39.000 And it's fucking really difficult to do.

02:23:42.000 And in doing that, it just helps you manage the difficulties of stand-up better. 0.96

02:23:47.000 The same thing with jiu-jitsu.

02:23:48.000 I felt like jiu-jitsu helped me a lot with stand-up and martial arts in general.

02:23:53.000 Because jujitsu is so much more difficult to do than comedy.

02:23:58.000 Like, physically difficult. 0.98

02:23:59.000 Like, as you're doing it, you're groaning and straining and just barely, barely surviving certain situations and getting into positions where people are literally squeezing your fucking neck until you're about to black out. 0.71

02:24:12.000 And it just makes the uncomfortable feeling of anticipation of stand-up, it just makes it less dangerous. 0.81

02:24:20.000 Like, less scary.

02:24:22.000 I did a show last night at the Fonda, so it's like a theater, so to speak, audience, probably, I don't know, 800 people or something.

02:24:33.000 And I'd done a spot on Tuesday night, went great.

02:24:37.000 I've done spots every night for the last 10 years with some degree of decent.

02:24:42.000 And the thoughts I was having before I went on, like, no, you're going to throw up on your, like, literally, like, Throw up on yourself, and then I'm on stage. 1.00

02:24:54.000 I'm like, why did you think that was gonna happen, you fucking weirdo? 0.99

02:24:58.000 Like, none of it even came close to happening. 1.00

02:25:01.000 But your brain's just like, no, no, no.

02:25:04.000 This is gonna happen. 1.00

02:25:05.000 Like, this worst-case scenario shit that's so impractical. 0.98

02:25:09.000 The other thing, you know what's great and horrible about stand-up is somebody was saying, like, yeah, you can't compare your set to somebody else's, and it's like, I can't not. 0.99

02:25:21.000 I heard the laughs they got.

02:25:22.000 I want to get those laughs or better.

02:25:26.000 Yeah.

02:25:26.000 Well, you definitely can't have someone bombs.

02:25:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:25:29.000 And they go, oh, this audience sucks. 0.96

02:25:30.000 And you go up there and they're great. 0.99

02:25:31.000 Yeah.

02:25:32.000 Yeah, like I have to compare.

02:25:34.000 Like I can't, like, it's impossible not, I can't act like it didn't.

02:25:41.000 Businesses can't go like, oh, don't worry about that guy across the street who's in the exact same business.

02:25:46.000 Is it Theodore Roosevelt?

02:25:47.000 Comparison is the thief of joy?

02:25:48.000 Yes.

02:25:49.000 Yeah.

02:25:49.000 Yeah, but good luck following.

02:25:53.000 That shit. 1.00

02:25:54.000 Good luck following. 1.00

02:25:55.000 I mean, we all have to fucking... 0.98

02:25:57.000 You ever stick around just to see what the next guy gets? 0.98

02:25:59.000 Sure.

02:25:59.000 Let me just see what...

02:26:02.000 I do, but I try to do it in a pure way.

02:26:04.000 I try to do it as a comedy fan.

02:26:06.000 I try to still be a comedy fan.

02:26:08.000 Yes, I've done that.

02:26:10.000 It's nine to one doing it as a fan.

02:26:14.000 Most of the time, especially at the store, I want to see the person on after me.

02:26:17.000 Don't you think the store is oddly supportive?

02:26:21.000 Yeah.

02:26:22.000 Yeah.

02:26:22.000 Yeah, because I never feel like if I catch a bad one, I never feel judged.

02:26:27.000 No.

02:26:27.000 By the guy I just brought up.

02:26:29.000 Well, that's another thing about, we were talking about this the other day, you catch a bad one at the store and everybody sort of wants to commiserate with you. 0.98

02:26:36.000 Like, oh, dude, last week I couldn't get a laugh to save my fucking life. 0.98

02:26:39.000 Uh-huh. 0.97

02:26:39.000 And everybody wants to, it's not like, everyone knows, like, the level of comedy there is so high that everyone knows that everyone's legit. 0.97

02:26:48.000 Yeah.

02:26:48.000 So it's not like, oh, Neil Brennan's losing it.

02:26:51.000 No, it's like, oh, he's trying out some new shit. 1.00

02:26:53.000 This fucking bum. 1.00

02:26:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:26:55.000 He's just going, yeah, he fucking... 0.99

02:26:56.000 It was his turn. 0.99

02:26:57.000 Yeah.

02:26:58.000 And there are just moments where it just...

02:27:00.000 I followed Eric Griffin probably a month ago, and he caught a bad one.

02:27:04.000 And I went, Eric Griffin, one of the worst spots he's had in a couple months.

02:27:12.000 They laughed, he laughed.

02:27:14.000 We're all just like, yeah, that was me three days ago.

02:27:17.000 It goes down.

02:27:18.000 Sometimes it's not pretty.

02:27:20.000 And no one is immune.

02:27:22.000 Especially in the OR. The OR, the original room, that room will fucking slap you in the face with reality. 0.99

02:27:30.000 Like no other room in the country. 0.98

02:27:32.000 Although, I have more bad sets in the main room than I do in the OR. Do you?

02:27:36.000 Yeah, because... 0.99

02:27:42.000 I don't I don't I don't even really know I feel like the main the OR like suits me better because I don't have to be like gregarious and did it you can just be like fucking you can be dark creep yeah you can be a dark creep And you can be a dark creep in that OR. Yeah. 0.99

02:27:58.000 But it's also, I think it's incredibly valuable to have that many high-level comics around you all the time.

02:28:06.000 Yeah.

02:28:06.000 To see that level.

02:28:08.000 Yeah.

02:28:08.000 To be inspired.

02:28:10.000 Yeah.

02:28:10.000 And like, oh, Jesus, that's a good joke.

02:28:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:28:12.000 Or like, fuck it. 1.00

02:28:13.000 Not even fuck. 1.00

02:28:14.000 Why didn't I think of it? 1.00

02:28:15.000 I'm jealous.

02:28:15.000 Just like...

02:28:17.000 You know, yeah, it's a good person.

02:28:19.000 Nailed it.

02:28:19.000 They nailed it.

02:28:20.000 I give it to him.

02:28:22.000 That's a fair fair.

02:28:23.000 He did it fair and square. 0.99

02:28:24.000 The only time I don't feel those like, God, you fucking nailed it. 0.96

02:28:28.000 Why didn't I think of that? 0.91

02:28:29.000 The only time I don't think like that is when I'm doing enough writing.

02:28:32.000 When I'm doing plenty of writing, those creepy, like jealousy thoughts don't get in there.

02:28:37.000 Yeah.

02:28:37.000 Or the, you know, the whimsical like, oh, it could have been me if I just got there first.

02:28:42.000 And it is golf in that it's as much as you can hear the guy in front of you sink a long putt.

02:28:54.000 You still got, it's you against you.

02:28:56.000 It's still like, it doesn't mean, because you killed doesn't mean I can't.

02:29:00.000 Right, of course.

02:29:02.000 But if you think you can't, it does mean you can't.

02:29:05.000 Yes.

02:29:06.000 Oh, I know, I can tell you an hour before my set how I'm going to do.

02:29:10.000 I'm not even kidding.

02:29:11.000 I can just tell by my serotonin level.

02:29:16.000 Hmm.

02:29:16.000 Do you ever try to break yourself out of it?

02:29:18.000 Yeah.

02:29:18.000 Do you have techniques?

02:29:19.000 Yes.

02:29:19.000 Positive visualization is good.

02:29:22.000 And just like taking a moment and like trying to get some serotonin going and like feel, just try to feel good.

02:29:31.000 For me, I move my body around.

02:29:33.000 I bounce around in place.

02:29:34.000 Like I jump around.

02:29:36.000 Like I'll stretch and just get everything moving.

02:29:38.000 Bob my hands.

02:29:39.000 Yeah, I've done that too.

02:29:40.000 Just start shadowboxing, just shuffle my feet, just get my blood pumping and get everything accelerating.

02:29:46.000 That's another thing that no one judges. 0.99

02:29:48.000 No one goes like, the fuck is Rogan? 0.99

02:29:50.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

02:29:51.000 Like, no one at the store would be like, we all just like, I've been in conversation with people.

02:29:56.000 If someone goes, hey, I gotta get ready, I'm not like, bro, you can't just walk up there, man.

02:30:01.000 What are you doing, bro?

02:30:02.000 One time Joey Diaz yelled at me for having a notebook. 0.99

02:30:07.000 You know, Joey's just got that weird thing like every now and then like, what are you doing with fucking ketchup and fries? 0.99

02:30:12.000 Fries taste great on their own. 1.00

02:30:14.000 You don't need no fucking ketchup. 0.99

02:30:15.000 Like every now and then he'd just get crazy with some absolute. 1.00

02:30:18.000 And I had a notebook and he goes, what the fuck you doing with that notebook? 0.99

02:30:21.000 I go, I'm working on some new shit. 1.00

02:30:23.000 He goes, you're carrying around that fucking notebook like those other momos that just want you to know that they're fucking writing. 1.00

02:30:29.000 Oh, I got my notebook. 1.00

02:30:30.000 Get the fuck out of here with notebooks. 0.96

02:30:33.000 And I was like, notebooks, Joey? 0.98

02:30:34.000 Yeah, Joey, is that where it is now?

02:30:36.000 I'm like, this is important.

02:30:37.000 There's a new bit.

02:30:38.000 I'll show you the bit. 0.99

02:30:39.000 I need to remember shit. 1.00

02:30:39.000 I literally have to remember shit. 1.00

02:30:41.000 I have all these new punchlines. 0.99

02:30:42.000 I have to.

02:30:43.000 I don't want to fuck this up.

02:30:44.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:30:44.000 You know what the fuck you're doing. 0.99

02:30:45.000 Come on, dog. 1.00

02:30:46.000 Get the fucking notebook out of here. 1.00

02:30:49.000 Again, talk about hearing what the guy in front of you gets. 1.00

02:30:53.000 You can't.

02:30:54.000 Following him is just like...

02:30:55.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:30:59.000 Okay, you guys want some fucking thoughtful notions? 0.98

02:31:03.000 That's how I feel after him. 0.99

02:31:04.000 I feel like I might as well go up as like a fucking professor. 0.99

02:31:08.000 Might as well have like a briefcase like, good evening, class. 0.99

02:31:12.000 Well, that's one of the reasons why I started taking Joey on the road with me.

02:31:15.000 Just because I was scared to follow him.

02:31:16.000 Yeah.

02:31:17.000 And I also wanted the best comedians I could work with.

02:31:20.000 Yeah.

02:31:20.000 And I was like, I've had people come out to see me.

02:31:22.000 I don't want to be the only one funny.

02:31:23.000 I want everybody else to be funny, too, because I'd bring the best guys I could.

02:31:27.000 And I realized that you just got to be able to ride the wave of Joey Diaz.

02:31:32.000 Yes.

02:31:32.000 It's like that with anybody.

02:31:34.000 Yes.

02:31:34.000 Theo Vaughn had to follow Chappelle the other night, and he was like, I was scared.

02:31:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:31:39.000 They're so gacked from seeing somebody that famous that they're like, you just don't fuck with it. 0.99

02:31:46.000 Yeah, if you're comfortable, you could ride the wave. 1.00

02:31:49.000 But if you're insecure because, oh my god, I'm going after Joey Diaz, shit and that nervousness and that feeling. 0.99

02:31:55.000 I took Joey on the Road with me once in New Jersey and I bombed. 0.99

02:31:59.000 It was like the last time I bombed going on after Joey. 0.99

02:32:01.000 And he went up and fucking murdered. 0.99

02:32:04.000 And he was fucking with the crowd. 1.00

02:32:06.000 Like, I forget what happened. 0.98

02:32:07.000 But I remember that feeling as I was going up to the stage like, this is not going to be good.

02:32:12.000 I don't have it in me.

02:32:14.000 And it was a transitionary period in my act.

02:32:17.000 Where I was like, not quite.

02:32:19.000 Didn't have the bits down yet.

02:32:21.000 Still working on putting it together.

02:32:24.000 But that's one of the reasons why I used to love taking him with.

02:32:27.000 I can't anymore because it's too successful.

02:32:29.000 But I would still love taking him with me.

02:32:31.000 Rock does that.

02:32:32.000 If Rock's doing a weekend, when he first had his new hour, he's like, I gotta get Earthquake out here, man.

02:32:38.000 He's like, I need good sparring partners.

02:32:41.000 I need people that are like... 0.99

02:32:43.000 Fucking, I'm afraid to follow. 0.99

02:32:44.000 He's like, I get Earthquake and Leslie out here. 1.00

02:32:48.000 Earthquake will murder a room.

02:32:50.000 Yeah, you don't even know.

02:32:52.000 It's one of those things where he's already murdered them.

02:32:55.000 When he gets out there.

02:32:57.000 Like, it's all so high level.

02:32:59.000 Yeah.

02:33:00.000 It's insane.

02:33:01.000 Yeah. 0.91

02:33:01.000 He also had a thing, his last special, he fucked a joke up and kept it in. 0.91

02:33:07.000 Oh, really? 0.97

02:33:07.000 And it's like, oh, y'all never fucked up? 0.97

02:33:09.000 It's fucking really funny. 0.99

02:33:11.000 It's really funny. 0.99

02:33:14.000 That dude is really...

02:33:14.000 Oh, y'all never fucked up a joke?

02:33:16.000 Yeah. 0.89

02:33:16.000 Y'all never fucked up your job! 0.89

02:33:20.000 It's a haggie thing to say, other than the way he did it was so fucking funny. 0.97

02:33:24.000 That's very smart of him to do that, to bring those guys with him. 0.97

02:33:27.000 Just murderer after murderer.

02:33:29.000 That's wise. 1.00

02:33:30.000 And then you have to fucking... 1.00

02:33:31.000 Then you can't be like... 1.00

02:33:34.000 No.

02:33:35.000 Because it's like, I don't care about fame. 0.94

02:33:37.000 I didn't know who that person was, and he's fucking hilarious.

02:33:41.000 Well, that is not just about comedy, and I think that relates to a lot of the problems that a lot of people have in life with what you would call haters. 0.74

02:33:49.000 Like, what a lot of haters are is they see people that are doing way better than them, they see things that are happening, and there's some things legitimately to hate, right?

02:33:58.000 But then there's a lot of haters that are haters about athletes or about singers or rappers or whatever.

02:34:05.000 A lot of it is just jealousy.

02:34:07.000 And that jealousy is they look at themselves, they look at that person, they don't like the way they measure up, and so all they can concentrate on...

02:34:14.000 It's trying to find something wrong with that person.

02:34:17.000 And not being, instead, inspired.

02:34:21.000 Yeah.

02:34:21.000 You know?

02:34:22.000 And, like, being inspired is so much more beneficial to you, it's so much healthier, and it's so much more of a strong move.

02:34:31.000 Yeah.

02:34:31.000 It doesn't...

02:34:32.000 You're not...

02:34:35.000 I think a lot of times with this, it goes to that power thing.

02:34:38.000 I think some guys, sometimes guys especially, will see their career as revenge.

02:34:47.000 I think there is a little a little bit of that is worthwhile Yeah, but I don't I think it can poison a fucking sure poison you if you're if you're consumed by it because there's guys that we all know that are just like All they do is like you see what so-and-so got you're like yeah,

02:35:02.000 those guys are useless Yeah, again, he's not it wasn't between you and him and it takes their work to that mindset that limited growth mindset that fucks with their work Yeah.

02:35:16.000 Just try to be original and as good as you possibly. 0.98

02:35:19.000 Somebody the other night was complaining like, yeah, my agent didn't, he moved and they didn't tell me.

02:35:25.000 And I was like, dude, every job you ever get is going to be from other comics.

02:35:30.000 It's every job.

02:35:32.000 Every job I've ever gotten is from the Boston Comedy Club, the Comedy Cellar, and the store.

02:35:40.000 Literally in my entire career.

02:35:42.000 That's crazy.

02:35:43.000 I mean, basically, I was videotaping people for casting director when I worked at Boston.

02:35:50.000 Got a job out here working for her.

02:35:53.000 Then I started working for...

02:35:56.000 We cast MTV Singled Out.

02:35:58.000 I got a writing job there.

02:36:00.000 Next door was Nickelodeon and all that.

02:36:02.000 Started talking to them.

02:36:03.000 Got a job there.

02:36:05.000 Me and Chappelle Wright Half-Baked.

02:36:06.000 Him I know from Boston.

02:36:08.000 Then I write movies for a while.

02:36:11.000 Then we do Chappelle Show.

02:36:13.000 Still from Boston.

02:36:16.000 And then I'm like in showbiz and it's all like a direct...

02:36:24.000 It's all a direct current from that.

02:36:26.000 Every commercial, I direct commercials, it's all from, that's from Chappelle's show, because it's like a long story, but like, Air Jordan, I did a thing with them, and then they were like, you should do more commercials, so I do commercials, and it's like, it's all from your peers.

02:36:41.000 Right, right.

02:36:42.000 It's literally all from your peers, that's it.

02:36:43.000 That's the only people that are gonna get you, they're the people that are gonna hire you.

02:36:48.000 Some people don't like to think that way because I think there's like this embedded mindset that used to exist when there was a limited number of jobs.

02:36:54.000 Yeah.

02:36:55.000 There's like only two guys could have, you know, one guy's gonna be competing against someone else for The Tonight Show.

02:37:01.000 Only one guy's gonna get it.

02:37:03.000 Yeah.

02:37:03.000 You know, that's not the case anymore.

02:37:04.000 No.

02:37:05.000 There's so much abundance.

02:37:06.000 By the way, there's too much.

02:37:08.000 Almost, right?

02:37:09.000 I mean, it's too much to keep up with.

02:37:12.000 Just all the Netflix specials. 1.00

02:37:13.000 You can't watch all this shit. 1.00

02:37:15.000 I truly don't have time. 1.00

02:37:16.000 I don't know how people do it.

02:37:18.000 But that's what it comes down to.

02:37:21.000 It's not being competitive with people.

02:37:23.000 It's supporting people.

02:37:24.000 And being inspired by the people that are really good.

02:37:27.000 That's fuel.

02:37:28.000 Yeah, like I was telling somebody...

02:37:31.000 It's a long story, but a girl I know who is a producer at a TV show, and she hadn't watched my Netflix special.

02:37:40.000 And I'm like, we're friends. 1.00

02:37:41.000 And I was like, you're stupid for not watching it. 1.00

02:37:45.000 A, because it's... 1.00

02:37:46.000 I go, A, it's insulting to me.

02:37:48.000 You're directly insulting me.

02:37:50.000 You're literally just hurting my feelings going out of your way.

02:37:52.000 And I go, and B, you're in comedy.

02:37:55.000 It's a well-regarded thing.

02:37:58.000 Like, just inform yourself.

02:38:00.000 I was like, I saw Schumer do a joke Nine years ago that I really liked and just texted her like didn't really know her at all I was like hey that joke's fucking great and then she asked me to direct her show you know what I mean like and I'm not I didn't do it to get her to you know what I mean it's just this thing of just like yeah that's how you make relationships you just like I like that some people don't like watches stand-up though like no that's what she said she's like I just don't like stand-up And I was like,

02:38:28.000 okay.

02:38:29.000 I was like, I go, that's completely fair.

02:38:31.000 Well, Norton likes it, but he doesn't want to be influenced, so he doesn't watch any stand-up.

02:38:35.000 Yeah, that's fair.

02:38:36.000 Yeah.

02:38:36.000 This girl just doesn't.

02:38:37.000 She's like, I just like scripted comedy better.

02:38:39.000 Whoa.

02:38:40.000 And I was like, okay.

02:38:41.000 She insulted you. 1.00

02:38:42.000 She insulted you. 1.00

02:38:43.000 Bro.

02:38:43.000 To my face, bro.

02:38:44.000 That bitch. 1.00

02:38:45.000 Can't believe it. 1.00

02:38:46.000 Hey, I gotta go to the dentist. 1.00

02:38:47.000 Go to the fucking dentist, man. 1.00

02:38:49.000 Get your teeth dead. 1.00

02:38:50.000 Yeah. 0.76

02:38:50.000 So, come back after you do Ibogaine. 0.76

02:38:53.000 Oh, cannot wait.

02:38:55.000 How long are you going to be up there for?

02:38:56.000 Three or four days.

02:38:58.000 How many different treatments?

02:39:00.000 One treatment, and the other days are just... 0.78

02:39:02.000 Kick it. 0.95

02:39:03.000 Just relax.

02:39:04.000 I mean, one day is like, you gotta write your questions.

02:39:07.000 Yeah.

02:39:08.000 One day is like, I'm getting there Monday, I do it Tuesday, and then that bleeds into Wednesday.

02:39:13.000 It's like a 24-hour experience, right?

02:39:16.000 They say 24 to 36. Ooh.

02:39:20.000 Which I'm really...

02:39:22.000 I watched a bunch of videos.

02:39:24.000 You know what's funny is so many... 0.86

02:39:26.000 If you go on YouTube and just fucking type in anything, so much of it comes back to this. 0.96

02:39:32.000 To your show. 0.99

02:39:33.000 Uh-oh.

02:39:33.000 No, in a good way.

02:39:34.000 Like, so-and-so talks about blank.

02:39:36.000 Right.

02:39:37.000 Like, if you...

02:39:37.000 Especially drugs.

02:39:39.000 Um...

02:39:40.000 Like, it's, and there was a lot of, it was a dude who you've had on here, I can't remember his name, but, like, Spencer or something, I don't know, but, uh, who had talked about doing ibogaine.

02:39:50.000 Have you done ayahuasca?

02:39:51.000 Aubrey?

02:39:51.000 Yeah, Aubrey, yeah, yeah.

02:39:52.000 No, I haven't done ayahuasca.

02:39:53.000 Have you done ibogaine?

02:39:54.000 DMT. Yeah.

02:39:55.000 I've done, I've done mushrooms, done acid, never done, uh, never done ibogaine.

02:40:01.000 But I've always associated Ibogaine with being one that people use to cure addictions.

02:40:06.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:40:07.000 Yeah.

02:40:08.000 I'm addicted to the game.

02:40:10.000 The game, son.

02:40:12.000 I'm trying to get loose from this game.

02:40:14.000 Ladies and gentlemen, the great and powerful Neil Brennan.

02:40:17.000 Good time, Joey.

02:40:17.000 Until we meet again, my friend.

02:40:20.000 Yes, my friend.

02:40:20.000 Thank you.

02:40:21.000 Enjoy your Ibogaine adventures.

02:40:23.000 See you soon, ladies and gentlemen.

The Joe Rogan Experience - December 14, 2017

Joe Rogan Experience #1053 - Neal Brennan

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Summary

Transcript