The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1113 - Brian Redban

00:00:02.000 Five, four, three, two, one.

00:00:06.000 Hey, fella. 0.98

00:00:07.000 Hey! 0.99

00:00:07.000 What's going on? 0.99

00:00:08.000 Not much.

00:00:09.000 How are you?

00:00:09.000 I'm good.

00:00:10.000 How are you?

00:00:10.000 I'm great.

00:00:11.000 Wonderful! 0.97

00:00:12.000 We're a little fucking high right now, but we're gonna get through it. 0.96

00:00:16.000 I'm so bummed. 0.90

00:00:18.000 I was thinking about going to Hawaii the other day, and then this volcano happened.

00:00:21.000 I'm like, of all the times.

00:00:22.000 Dude, I was there.

00:00:23.000 Oh, you were there when it happened?

00:00:24.000 I was in Lanai.

00:00:25.000 I was on one of the other islands.

00:00:27.000 Did you feel the earthquake?

00:00:27.000 No, I didn't feel it.

00:00:29.000 It's, you know, it's separated by quite a lot.

00:00:31.000 There's a lot of water in the way.

00:00:33.000 The big earthquake happened actually after the plane took off.

00:00:37.000 So we were in the air when the big one hit.

00:00:40.000 Yeah, which it's apparently a big one, like a 5-9?

00:00:43.000 I think it was even more than that.

00:00:44.000 Was it?

00:00:44.000 Six?

00:00:46.000 Oh, right. 0.99

00:00:47.000 They had a big one and then they had a fucking really big one. 0.99

00:00:51.000 5-9's big. 0.99

00:00:52.000 I think the way it works...

00:00:54.000 I'm sure someone will correct me here.

00:00:56.000 I think the way it works is a 5-6 is like really powerful, but a 5-7 is twice as powerful.

00:01:02.000 Then a 5-8 is twice as powerful as that. 0.97

00:01:05.000 So when you get up to 7, like that's some world-changing shit. 0.89

00:01:10.000 It's actually 6.9. 0.85

00:01:11.000 Oh my god.

00:01:12.000 That's insane.

00:01:13.000 Oh my god.

00:01:14.000 Can you imagine being on the...

00:01:15.000 Oh my god.

00:01:15.000 Is that powerful?

00:01:16.000 That's so big.

00:01:17.000 That's such a big earthquake, man.

00:01:20.000 Did you see the, um...

00:01:21.000 I put it up.

00:01:22.000 It's so funny.

00:01:23.000 Dude, you put up anything that's from CNN? And people, why don't you put it up from a verifiable source?

00:01:27.000 Not CNN. CNN's bullshit. 1.00

00:01:30.000 It's a video, you fucking asshole. 1.00

00:01:32.000 It's a video of lava eating a car. 1.00

00:01:35.000 Yeah, it must be.

00:01:36.000 What do you think?

00:01:36.000 CNN faked it?

00:01:38.000 I'd like to see conclusive evidence that CNN's not full of shit and then I'll go to their website. 1.00

00:01:45.000 Stupid. 1.00

00:01:46.000 Dude, people are so goofy. 1.00

00:01:48.000 They're so goofy with this fake news shit. 1.00

00:01:50.000 It's lava! 1.00

00:01:51.000 It ate a car! 0.97

00:01:53.000 It happened!

00:01:54.000 Did you see the video?

00:01:56.000 Yeah.

00:01:56.000 The white car?

00:01:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:01:58.000 Pull that shit up. 1.00

00:01:59.000 I think it's cool that that car's forever going to be in rock, so when we all die in the future, people can find this car. 0.99

00:02:06.000 Oh, it's broken down to the bare elements at this point.

00:02:10.000 I'm assuming it just got completely melted.

00:02:13.000 I wonder.

00:02:14.000 They say that stuff is...

00:02:16.000 2,000 degrees, and it's so hot, but it's molten rock, so if it didn't burn through your feet, or if you weren't flammable at all for some strange reason, you could actually walk on it.

00:02:28.000 Yeah.

00:02:29.000 I'm like, what?

00:02:30.000 I thought you would just sink in it, but no.

00:02:33.000 And apparently it's cooling right after it gets out of the surface.

00:02:38.000 This is so crazy.

00:02:39.000 This is like a monster.

00:02:40.000 So we're watching this lava flow on Hawaii's Big Island.

00:02:43.000 I like how Jamie went with CBS News. 1.00

00:02:46.000 Fuck CNN, bro. 1.00

00:02:48.000 Fuck that fake news. 1.00

00:02:50.000 Actually, Brandon Clement got the video. 1.00

00:02:51.000 Oh, powerful Brandon Clement. 0.99

00:02:53.000 But this guy, whoever he is, is a bad motherfucker because look what he was next to. 0.99

00:02:57.000 He was filming this. 1.00

00:02:58.000 I mean, he was near this thing.

00:03:02.000 Oh my god, like, imagine being on that street and staying. 1.00

00:03:06.000 What kind of a crazy fuck you have to be to be on that street and stay? 1.00

00:03:10.000 And then a 6.9 hits during all this? 1.00

00:03:13.000 Dude, that's so big.

00:03:14.000 That's such a crazy earthquake.

00:03:17.000 But they live on a volcano.

00:03:19.000 I mean, it's one of the reasons why a lot of people don't want to live on the Big Island. 0.99

00:03:23.000 So shit like this, yeah, that splatter one's crazy. 1.00

00:03:26.000 There's a fissure in this neighborhood. 1.00

00:03:29.000 There's a subdivision out there, something estates, I forget what it is. 0.99

00:03:33.000 But their fucking neighborhood, dude, the ground opened up in their neighborhood. 0.99

00:03:38.000 I mean, if you lived... 1.00

00:03:41.000 You know thousands of years ago.

00:03:42.000 This would be an angry God coming to attack your village.

00:03:45.000 Could you imagine if normal days you're in Hawaii?

00:03:48.000 You're in one of the most beautiful places on the planet. 0.98

00:03:51.000 You're just chilling and the Sun is perfect and you see in the ocean you're hearing the seagulls and you see dolphins and shit and then the ground opens up and hell starts pouring out. 1.00

00:04:03.000 Eats your house. 1.00

00:04:05.000 Eats your Mustang. 1.00

00:04:07.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:04:08.000 And they were talking about it today on the news. 1.00

00:04:09.000 They're like, there's nothing we can do.

00:04:11.000 There's nothing.

00:04:12.000 They're like, you can't pour water out?

00:04:13.000 Nope. 0.99

00:04:14.000 Can't do shit. 1.00

00:04:15.000 You're not going to stop it. 1.00

00:04:16.000 It's too big.

00:04:17.000 They apparently stopped it from doing something in, like, Iceland.

00:04:23.000 And they had to use billions and billions of gallons of water to halt the progress of the lava.

00:04:30.000 I forget what it was.

00:04:32.000 Is that when that big plume was in the air and you couldn't fly anywhere?

00:04:34.000 I believe so.

00:04:36.000 And that is also that plume being in the air, which restricted flying, is all tied into the death of that journalist Michael Hastings.

00:04:45.000 Do you know that crazy conspiracy theory?

00:04:48.000 It's one of the weirder ones, man.

00:04:50.000 It's one of the weirder ones.

00:04:52.000 This guy, Michael Hastings, was this sort of renegade journalist type character, and he went to Iraq or Afghanistan?

00:05:01.000 I want to say Iraq, but it might have been Afghanistan.

00:05:03.000 He went there with the troops and he got stuck there because of that volcano.

00:05:11.000 So because he was stuck there, everybody got comfortable with him being around. 1.00

00:05:15.000 They started saying crazy shit. 0.99

00:05:17.000 They started joking around about Obama, stuff like that. 0.99

00:05:20.000 And he put all this in the article.

00:05:23.000 And when he put all this in the article, the general had to resign.

00:05:26.000 And he was like one of the most popular and most powerful generals in the army.

00:05:31.000 Then, shortly thereafter, homeboy decided to go 120 miles an hour down sunset and slam into a tree and his car exploded. 1.00

00:05:39.000 And everybody's like, it's a fucking murder! 1.00

00:05:42.000 It's assassination! 0.99

00:05:43.000 And then there was all these tech guys that were coming out and they were saying, listen, you absolutely can hack a car and change the direction.

00:05:52.000 Change what the car does.

00:05:54.000 Take control of the car.

00:05:56.000 You absolutely can do that.

00:05:57.000 And they were like, absolutely.

00:05:59.000 He was like, absolutely.

00:06:00.000 He was like, absolutely.

00:06:01.000 100% you can do it.

00:06:04.000 We know these videos of people falling asleep and they're Teslas.

00:06:07.000 The car just drives you there.

00:06:09.000 You get on the highway, it just drives you.

00:06:11.000 We know that's real.

00:06:12.000 It turns.

00:06:12.000 It'll turn.

00:06:13.000 It'll make turns for you.

00:06:14.000 It'll park.

00:06:15.000 They have cars that park.

00:06:16.000 You don't think that they can... 1.00

00:06:19.000 That they figured out a long time ago, hey, wouldn't it be cool if we could just tap into that and make this motherfucker drive into a tree? 0.99

00:06:25.000 If they didn't, they would be so incompetent that I don't want to hear any conspiracy theories ever again. 0.99

00:06:31.000 Because if the government didn't look at that stuff, if the government, like the assassins, didn't look at that and go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on a second. 0.99

00:06:38.000 So you're telling me if the head of ISIS is in a car and it's a Mercedes, we can hack into that car and make that motherfucker drive off a cliff? 0.99

00:06:45.000 We can do that? 1.00

00:06:46.000 Okay, well, let's do that. 0.99

00:06:49.000 Fucking 100%! 1.00

00:06:50.000 Those people all day are trying to figure out a way to kill bad guys. 1.00

00:06:54.000 You don't think they would think that?

00:06:55.000 Of course they would.

00:06:56.000 So that's the scary thought.

00:06:58.000 But then the other possibility is homeboy was losing his mind because of the pressure.

00:07:03.000 Which is entirely possible.

00:07:05.000 You always have to, like, look at everything.

00:07:07.000 You gotta look at all sides.

00:07:08.000 You really do.

00:07:09.000 It's so easy to just pick a side on any story or a conspiracy theory or anything, even a political opinion.

00:07:17.000 It's so easy to just dig your heels in.

00:07:20.000 But on this one, you gotta look at this guy.

00:07:21.000 They definitely found amphetamines in his system, they said.

00:07:25.000 And that's not uncommon for writers.

00:07:28.000 Writers love Adderall. 0.99

00:07:29.000 They fucking love it. 0.99

00:07:31.000 Apparently, I have a friend who's a journalist says everybody who's a journalist is on Adderall. 0.99

00:07:36.000 Obviously, he's exaggerating. 1.00

00:07:37.000 The one guy's out there like, not me, you fuck! 1.00

00:07:39.000 Not fucking me! 1.00

00:07:41.000 But, um, who was it that was a doctor? 0.99

00:07:46.000 Oh, my friend Dr. Roddy McGee. 0.90

00:07:49.000 The stem cell doctor from Vegas, he was telling me about people that were taking Adderall when he was in college, and he was like, holy shit, is my breath smell? 0.95

00:07:58.000 No, no, exactly. 0.93

00:08:00.000 What are you doing, bro?

00:08:00.000 He throws me these Listerine breast strips.

00:08:03.000 Okay, dude, I'll fucking take one. 0.99

00:08:05.000 I accidentally flipped it. 0.99

00:08:06.000 Christ, dude.

00:08:08.000 But he was saying that when he was in college, it was like a marked change in everybody's performance when they started doing the Adderall.

00:08:14.000 I believe it.

00:08:16.000 Jamie gave it to me.

00:08:17.000 He gave me a little tiny piece, allegedly.

00:08:18.000 Maybe not.

00:08:19.000 Maybe I just made that up.

00:08:20.000 Officer.

00:08:20.000 I don't know what that was.

00:08:21.000 I don't know what the fuck that was. 0.98

00:08:22.000 I didn't take it either way. 0.99

00:08:24.000 I'm scared of it.

00:08:25.000 I'm scared I'm going to take it and go, Yes!

00:08:27.000 This is what I need!

00:08:30.000 Right?

00:08:30.000 Like the same reason I'm scared of Coke.

00:08:32.000 I've never fucked with Coke.

00:08:34.000 I like coffee too much. 0.92

00:08:35.000 I like it.

00:08:36.000 I drink it when I'm not even tired.

00:08:38.000 I just look for a cup of coffee.

00:08:39.000 Like, come on, have a cup of coffee.

00:08:40.000 It'd be nice right now.

00:08:41.000 I feel like I crack at, like, cracky when I'm on Adderall.

00:08:44.000 Like, it's like...

00:08:45.000 Like, the whole time.

00:08:46.000 Does it make you talk too much?

00:08:49.000 I've only done it like three times, but I remember I tried to do it and go on stage and it was awful.

00:08:54.000 I felt like I was on, like my timing was all like jitter-jitter-jitter-jitter.

00:08:58.000 Right, well you gotta take into account, like there's the way you feel before you go on stage, and then there's the way you feel on stage.

00:09:03.000 The adrenaline, you have to take into account that that adrenaline's gonna be there.

00:09:06.000 It's gonna mix in.

00:09:07.000 Yeah.

00:09:08.000 I did Modafinil once, I did Modafinil on stage, and it was a weird little balancing act.

00:09:13.000 That's that Pro Vigil stuff?

00:09:14.000 Right.

00:09:16.000 It was weird.

00:09:16.000 It was like, ooh, this is weird.

00:09:18.000 You know, you're better off sober.

00:09:21.000 But the thing about those pills, apparently, is you get used to it.

00:09:26.000 And then you get used to that juice. 0.99

00:09:28.000 You know, you're used to just fucking having the energy to get shit done. 0.99

00:09:31.000 Come on, Brian. 1.00

00:09:32.000 Let's start a fucking business. 1.00

00:09:33.000 Come on, Brian. 1.00

00:09:34.000 Let's organize.

00:09:35.000 We've got to make a non-profit that carries the same name as the...

00:09:40.000 Everybody gets super, super fired up. 0.99

00:09:42.000 But you can get a lot of shit done that way. 0.97

00:09:44.000 So that's the thing with journalists, apparently, according to my friend. 0.98

00:09:48.000 He's like, dude, everybody's on it. 0.80

00:09:49.000 They're all on it, and they write like maniacs. 1.00

00:09:51.000 They just fucking pound the keys. 0.99

00:09:54.000 But it makes sense. 0.98

00:09:55.000 And that Take Your Pills documentary on Netflix, that's what they talk about, too.

00:09:58.000 I need to see that.

00:09:59.000 80% of kids in high school, college, taking it just to get through.

00:10:03.000 Well, I think it's a performance-enhancing drug.

00:10:06.000 So here's the question.

00:10:08.000 Is it worse than drinking?

00:10:09.000 I bet it isn't.

00:10:11.000 And we don't have any problem with all those kids drinking.

00:10:14.000 The question is, are they going to get addicted to it more easily than they would get addicted to drinking?

00:10:19.000 Because you don't have this, I mean, I don't know, but I'm assuming you don't have nearly the same kind of hangover, right?

00:10:25.000 How does it affect your liver in comparison to, like, alcohol? 0.91

00:10:29.000 Because I think Adderall and that kind of shit might be worse in that aspect. 0.97

00:10:34.000 I think we'd see a lot of bodies if it were. 0.99

00:10:37.000 I think there'd be a lot of dead people.

00:10:39.000 I really do.

00:10:40.000 This is what I think.

00:10:41.000 I think it's one of those where's the bodies thing.

00:10:44.000 Like, where's the bodies?

00:10:45.000 Where's the bodies?

00:10:46.000 You know, where are they?

00:10:48.000 It might be one of those things, oh, you don't want to do that.

00:10:50.000 Everybody's going to have heart attacks and die.

00:10:53.000 Are you sure?

00:10:54.000 Are you sure everybody's not already doing it? 1.00

00:10:57.000 There was a fucking stupid article that I was reading about the keto diet. 1.00

00:11:01.000 It was so dumb. 1.00

00:11:03.000 It was so poorly written and uninformed because they were talking about a study they did where they took people and they put them on a keto diet for four days and their athletic performance decreased. 0.99

00:11:15.000 And then they even included the caveat, this could possibly be because of the keto flu.

00:11:22.000 Which is something that sometimes people get before your body goes into ketosis.

00:11:26.000 It takes a long time to switch your body off from a lifetime of burning carbs to burning fat.

00:11:32.000 The real health benefits and athletic performance, if any, all happen after your body gets through this transitionary period.

00:11:41.000 So they did a study about four days of the diet. 0.99

00:11:44.000 Like, who gives a shit? 0.99

00:11:45.000 Why would you do that? 0.98

00:11:46.000 That's not how it works.

00:11:47.000 It takes weeks.

00:11:48.000 Before your body even totally transitions over.

00:11:51.000 And then even then, the benefits increase over months.

00:11:55.000 There's plenty of science on this stuff.

00:11:57.000 The people that I've had on the podcast that talked about it, like Dom D'Agostino and all the studies that he's done on it, Peter Adio, who was on the other day, these are like real scientists.

00:12:08.000 The data's out there.

00:12:10.000 You could look at it.

00:12:11.000 It doesn't work for everybody in terms of the benefits of it, but you don't do it over four days.

00:12:16.000 So they're saying it's dangerous, potentially dangerous diet. 1.00

00:12:19.000 It's fucking food. 1.00

00:12:21.000 It's not dangerous. 1.00

00:12:22.000 You know what's really dangerous?

00:12:23.000 Eating the same way most people eat every day.

00:12:26.000 You know what?

00:12:26.000 I was watching a video with this guy from, you know what the company called Flavor God?

00:12:32.000 It's a spice company.

00:12:33.000 He makes like really delicious spices.

00:12:36.000 And he had this video.

00:12:37.000 He went to a store and he just picked out a garlic salt.

00:12:40.000 Like, okay, let's try this one right here.

00:12:41.000 And he picks it up and it says sugar in it. 0.99

00:12:44.000 Sugar's the third ingredient in fucking garlic salt. 0.99

00:12:47.000 So I go home after I watch this video. 0.99

00:12:49.000 I pick up the garlic salt. 0.99

00:12:50.000 I'm like, that looks like the shit that I have in my house. 0.99

00:12:52.000 I pick it up. 0.99

00:12:54.000 It's under garlic salt. 1.00

00:12:55.000 It has fucking sugar. 0.99

00:12:57.000 It's like the third or fourth ingredient is sugar. 1.00

00:12:59.000 I'm like, you gotta be kidding me.

00:13:01.000 They put sugar and garlic salt, these monsters. 0.94

00:13:04.000 That's insane.

00:13:05.000 That's not right.

00:13:06.000 Dude. 0.94

00:13:08.000 These monsters.

00:13:09.000 Is he selling it as a spice or does it say garlic salt on it?

00:13:12.000 It's a regular, it's a big company.

00:13:15.000 It's a green cap.

00:13:15.000 It says garlic salt.

00:13:17.000 His stuff is just garlic and salt and real spices and whatever, this flavor god guy. 0.99

00:13:22.000 So he's just pointing out, like, look man, you're getting fucked over. 0.98

00:13:25.000 And I didn't know. 0.99

00:13:26.000 I had no idea.

00:13:27.000 I was pouring this stuff.

00:13:28.000 I put this stuff on my eggs.

00:13:29.000 I didn't know there's sugar in it. 0.97

00:13:31.000 That's ridiculous. 0.91

00:13:32.000 Why would you put sugar in garlic salt? 0.98

00:13:35.000 Don't call it garlic salt then.

00:13:37.000 Call it Tony's Spices.

00:13:38.000 This is Tony's Spices.

00:13:40.000 I put a little of this, I put a little of that.

00:13:42.000 You know what I like?

00:13:43.000 My grandmother always puts sugar in everything. 1.00

00:13:45.000 Fuck it. 1.00

00:13:46.000 Sugar. 1.00

00:13:46.000 That seems like that should be illegal. 1.00

00:13:48.000 Should be illegal. 1.00

00:13:49.000 Fucking asshole. 1.00

00:13:50.000 Because what if you can't have sugar? 1.00

00:13:52.000 You never think to look in salt. 0.99

00:13:53.000 You have to check every fucking label to make sure someone's not sneaking some sugar in on you. 1.00

00:13:58.000 Creepy fucks. 1.00

00:14:00.000 Speaking of creepy fucks, did you hear about that nurse who is going to jail because she was infecting patients with hepatitis C? She was infecting her hepatitis C blood into their medication. 1.00

00:14:16.000 Why? 0.99

00:14:17.000 She's crazy. 1.00

00:14:19.000 She's crazy. 1.00

00:14:20.000 She was giving them hep C on purpose, is what they're alleging at least. 0.98

00:14:24.000 Here it is.

00:14:25.000 Nurse allegedly used her own drug needles on patients leading to hepatitis C infections.

00:14:32.000 Okay, so I'd read it differently.

00:14:34.000 I'd read that she injected the medication with her blood.

00:14:39.000 She had put her blood in the medication. 0.92

00:14:42.000 Maybe that was just a shitty article I read.

00:14:45.000 But either way, Okay, so what they're saying is she's a suspicion of two counts of second-degree assault.

00:14:54.000 She's not been formally charged, and her mother, Eunice, told the media at the news conference Friday that her daughter wouldn't hurt a bug.

00:15:01.000 Hmm.

00:15:01.000 So they say a Washington Emergency Room nurse is accused of stealing narcotics and injecting two hospital patients with Hep C using the same needles that she used to inject herself.

00:15:12.000 Okay, so they're not saying she infected it with their blood on purpose.

00:15:15.000 She just did something super irresponsible and used her needles on these patients. 1.00

00:15:20.000 So what they're alleging is that she's using narcotics and she would get too much for the patients and give some to herself and use that same needle to give it to the patients, probably because needles are tightly controlled. 0.81

00:15:35.000 Because they probably have to account for every needle missing, so they don't give them to junkies, and they probably have to account for all the narcotics.

00:15:43.000 So she would probably give them some of hers.

00:15:46.000 See, it says, she intentionally contaminated medicine or other substance with her own blood. 0.78

00:15:51.000 See, that's what I read.

00:15:52.000 See, this is a different thing.

00:15:53.000 Is this a different website you just pulled out?

00:15:55.000 The same one.

00:15:56.000 Intentionally contaminated medicine or another substance with her own blood.

00:16:00.000 Then she administered the medicine or other substance intravenously.

00:16:05.000 So the way she did it wasn't by putting her blood into the medication on purpose.

00:16:10.000 The way she did it was by taking some of their medication, allegedly. 0.87

00:16:15.000 It says, I haven't seen any evidence that would prove that she intentionally infected anyone.

00:16:21.000 Hmm.

00:16:24.000 It's her attorney.

00:16:25.000 Yeah, that's her attorney.

00:16:26.000 Yeah.

00:16:27.000 So go to the top because there was something about narcotics, right?

00:16:32.000 I've read this.

00:16:33.000 There's a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie.

00:16:35.000 And it's all about this guy, Dr. Joel Wallach.

00:16:38.000 And it was all about mineral deficient diets.

00:16:41.000 And then how many people have mineral deficient diets because U.S. farmlands are just total overrun with, you know, you use the same land over and over and over again.

00:16:51.000 They're overrun from the crops that just drain the dirt.

00:16:54.000 So they have to add minerals to the soil. 1.00

00:16:55.000 They have to add shit to it. 0.98

00:16:57.000 And this guy, Dr. Joel Wallach, was talking about how you have to realize there's a lot of people out there that, over time, mineral-deficient diets will show poor health results. 0.99

00:17:10.000 So he was going on about how little doctors know about health in general.

00:17:16.000 They know how to fix things.

00:17:17.000 But how little many doctors know about good diet and what kind of nutrients you really need.

00:17:22.000 Because they really don't spend that much time in school.

00:17:23.000 Much less time than the average person who's sort of obsessed with it.

00:17:26.000 But then he started going on about how many doctors they find dead from overdoses.

00:17:31.000 And stories about doctors that just shot themselves up in a break room and tied.

00:17:36.000 Locked themselves up in a bathroom and shot coke.

00:17:40.000 If they're that tired and that worn down and they have access to coke, I bet a lot of them did it, especially if you could get away with it.

00:17:50.000 Especially if they have that liquid coke in the hospitals.

00:17:52.000 They're probably just huffing that stuff.

00:17:54.000 Do they still have that?

00:17:55.000 Liquid coke?

00:17:56.000 They have lidocaine, right?

00:17:58.000 What do they use the liquid coke for?

00:18:01.000 A numbing agent, right?

00:18:02.000 Well, that's what lidocaine is, right?

00:18:04.000 Yeah, I think the same thing, though.

00:18:05.000 But I don't think lidocaine gets you high.

00:18:07.000 I know this girl that used to, I don't know if she made it, but I always thought it was from a doctor.

00:18:13.000 It was like an inhaler type thing, and she would just do that.

00:18:17.000 Or no, no, it was a nose thing.

00:18:18.000 Like a spray nose thing.

00:18:20.000 Like a Flonase.

00:18:22.000 Flonase for coke?

00:18:22.000 Yeah, and she would just do that.

00:18:24.000 Whoa. 0.66

00:18:24.000 And she would just shoot liquid coke up her snout? 0.66

00:18:27.000 Yeah.

00:18:28.000 Whoa.

00:18:29.000 That's heavy.

00:18:30.000 Sounds better for you than snorting.

00:18:32.000 I don't know.

00:18:33.000 It's like moisturizing.

00:18:34.000 I think the best way is apparently you chew those leaves.

00:18:38.000 You ever done that?

00:18:39.000 No.

00:18:39.000 I've never even seen that before.

00:18:40.000 Yeah, the coca leaves.

00:18:42.000 That's apparently the best way, but you never get that super rush.

00:18:46.000 It's like, the difference between the sugar that you would get from an apple and the sugar you would get from some Kool-Aid. 0.99

00:18:54.000 Like, you would drink a gallon of Kool-Aid, homemade Kool-Aid, where you'd dump extra sugar in there and stir that bitch up. 1.00

00:18:59.000 Do you remember that? 0.99

00:19:00.000 How great was that?

00:19:02.000 Kool-Aid is delicious.

00:19:03.000 What was your color?

00:19:04.000 What was your go-to color?

00:19:05.000 I've never met a Kool-Aid I didn't like.

00:19:08.000 I never drank one glass of Kool-Aid. 1.00

00:19:10.000 It was like, this Kool-Aid's bullshit. 0.99

00:19:12.000 The green one was always weird. 1.00

00:19:13.000 They were fucking great. 0.96

00:19:14.000 I loved when the big guy with the pitcher burst through the wall, too. 0.99

00:19:18.000 Oh, yeah.

00:19:19.000 Kool-Aid.

00:19:20.000 Kool-Aid just smashed your house to give you...

00:19:21.000 He was so excited to see you and give you your sugary drink. 1.00

00:19:25.000 He would break your fucking house. 1.00

00:19:27.000 That dude's still around. 1.00

00:19:28.000 The Kool-Aid guy?

00:19:29.000 Yeah.

00:19:30.000 Is he on the packages still?

00:19:31.000 Yeah.

00:19:32.000 That'd be funny if they made him thinner, though, to promote no sugar or something like that.

00:19:38.000 Change of times.

00:19:39.000 Get them on diet pills.

00:19:41.000 Get Kool-Aid on the diet pills.

00:19:42.000 He's a shot glass now.

00:19:44.000 Adderall, Adderall, Adderall, Adderall.

00:19:47.000 Okay, let's find out how many people die every year from Adderall.

00:19:50.000 Let's guess.

00:19:51.000 I'm going to guess.

00:19:53.000 I'm going to guess less than 100. Oh, no, no.

00:19:55.000 It's way more than that.

00:19:56.000 I say less than 100 in this country every year.

00:20:00.000 That's what I say.

00:20:01.000 I say 59 people die of Adderall a year.

00:20:04.000 I'll say 21,000 people.

00:20:10.000 You would be the worst guest ever on The Price is Right. 1.00

00:20:13.000 You don't know what the fuck you're doing. 1.00

00:20:16.000 It's just the chance you're taking, too. 0.99

00:20:17.000 You don't have to go that high.

00:20:19.000 Sometimes.

00:20:19.000 Just go a little higher than me and you got it.

00:20:21.000 How much did you say?

00:20:22.000 I'm saying 59 people, guys.

00:20:24.000 And it's 69. Okay, 69. What do we got, Jamie?

00:20:30.000 The first thing I found that said that there were 12 deaths associated to 7 to 16-year-old boys in the year 2005. And there's like articles about sudden deaths in 12 kids on Adderall.

00:20:41.000 Just 12?

00:20:42.000 Yeah, but that's like, it's not showing for the year.

00:20:45.000 I think when you die on Adderall, they know where you live, they come down, they nuke your house, they kill all the witnesses.

00:20:51.000 Yeah.

00:20:53.000 No, but the money in Adderall must be through the roof.

00:20:56.000 Well, look at what happened to CBD. Did you hear about this?

00:20:59.000 What?

00:20:59.000 I bet the medicine companies have something to do with that.

00:21:02.000 They just made it a Schedule I for CBD. Did they really do that?

00:21:06.000 I thought they abandoned on that.

00:21:07.000 No, I just read it the other day.

00:21:10.000 I know they were doing that with Kratom, too.

00:21:13.000 Court rules, CBD, Schedule I compound cannabinol sales only wear pot legal. 1.00

00:21:19.000 Well, that's just stupid. 0.90

00:21:21.000 CBD, it's got the most minor levels of THC, and it has definite benefits, especially when you put it on as a lotion. 0.99

00:21:33.000 Appeals court upholds CBD status as controlled substance. 1.00

00:21:37.000 Well, fuck you, appeals court. 1.00

00:21:39.000 That's against the hemp industry also, right? 1.00

00:21:41.000 That's a huge hit to the hemp industry.

00:21:43.000 Yeah, across the board.

00:21:44.000 It's a huge hit to humanity. 1.00

00:21:46.000 It's just dumb. 0.99

00:21:47.000 That stuff's great for old ladies with arthritis. 0.99

00:21:49.000 It's so much better than a lot of medications.

00:21:51.000 You can take it in so many different forms.

00:21:53.000 You can take it as drops.

00:21:55.000 You can take it as a spray. 0.99

00:21:58.000 I'd take it as an ointment that I'll put on, like I have a sore shoulder or some shit. 0.99

00:22:02.000 You can put that stuff on. 0.99

00:22:03.000 It's fucking great. 0.98

00:22:04.000 I just got some recently, and any time my neck is sore from laying weird or being in a hotel with a shitty pillow, I put it on like two minutes. 0.98

00:22:13.000 Yeah, it just loosens everything up.

00:22:15.000 It's amazing.

00:22:15.000 You know what I bet it would be great for?

00:22:17.000 Like a massage. 1.00

00:22:18.000 Maybe you'd get fucked up. 1.00

00:22:19.000 Maybe you'd get too high. 1.00

00:22:20.000 Someone give you a massage in CBD lotion?

00:22:22.000 I did it the other day.

00:22:23.000 Whoa, did you? 0.99

00:22:24.000 Yeah, and I got it in her vagina, and I thought it was going to be bad. 1.00

00:22:28.000 I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have done that. 0.99

00:22:30.000 Right.

00:22:30.000 And, you know, it was fine.

00:22:32.000 Wow, that's good.

00:22:33.000 This company, CBD for Life, they gave me all these face lotions.

00:22:38.000 They have the stuff you put underneath your eyes.

00:22:40.000 They have so much different kind of CBD stuff.

00:22:43.000 Yeah, Gino gave me some blue stuff.

00:22:44.000 It's like a roll-on, you know, like roll-on deodorant.

00:22:47.000 You put it on a sore elbow or something.

00:22:49.000 It's great.

00:22:50.000 Yeah, it doesn't do anything bad to you. 1.00

00:22:52.000 The fact that these assholes decided that it'd be a good idea to make that illegal is so dumb. 1.00

00:22:58.000 There's nothing wrong with it. 1.00

00:23:00.000 It reduces inflammation.

00:23:00.000 It's healthy.

00:23:01.000 That's it.

00:23:02.000 Period.

00:23:02.000 Doesn't do anything wrong.

00:23:03.000 So now you can't buy it anymore.

00:23:05.000 You can only buy it in places where pot's legal.

00:23:07.000 Like, we can still buy it.

00:23:08.000 Because we don't live in the dark ages. 1.00

00:23:11.000 Stupid. 1.00

00:23:11.000 There's a lot of dark-aged states out there, dude. 1.00

00:23:14.000 You ever watch that show, Live PD, I think it's called?

00:23:17.000 Yeah.

00:23:17.000 It's one of my favorite shows, but it's so weird watching people get busted for, like, weed.

00:23:22.000 And you're like, wait, how old is this show?

00:23:23.000 Oh, it's live right now.

00:23:24.000 This is happening in South Carolina or whatever.

00:23:28.000 Yeah, there's a bunch of spots where you could still get, like, fully arrested.

00:23:31.000 Go to jail. 0.98

00:23:32.000 You're a criminal. 1.00

00:23:33.000 Texas. 1.00

00:23:34.000 For pot.

00:23:34.000 Yeah.

00:23:35.000 Texas, they arrested Willie Nelson, dude.

00:23:37.000 They pulled Willie Nelson off his tour bus.

00:23:41.000 You know, that's like shooting a bass in a toilet bowl. 1.00

00:23:44.000 That's so dumb. 1.00

00:23:45.000 That's so dumb. 1.00

00:23:47.000 How could you do that? 1.00

00:23:48.000 National treasure, man. 1.00

00:23:50.000 Assholes. 1.00

00:23:51.000 Of course he smokes pot. 1.00

00:23:52.000 He's 150,000 years old.

00:23:55.000 He's been playing music all across this land forever.

00:23:59.000 Leave the guy alone.

00:24:01.000 Let him do whatever he wants.

00:24:03.000 He's Willie Nelson. 1.00

00:24:05.000 I mean, if you don't love Willie Nelson, fuck you. 1.00

00:24:09.000 Right? 1.00

00:24:09.000 Even if you don't want to listen to the guy's music, you're like, not right now, man. 1.00

00:24:12.000 I'm into some Eminem right now.

00:24:14.000 Okay, I get it. 1.00

00:24:16.000 But if you're like, man, fuck Willie Nelson. 1.00

00:24:18.000 No. 1.00

00:24:19.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:24:20.000 What do you think of the Kanye shit going on? 1.00

00:24:22.000 Well, Jamie's kept me fully informed. 1.00

00:24:25.000 He talks about it every morning.

00:24:26.000 Jamie's got many, many theories.

00:24:28.000 He's got one of those mind boards in his house where he's got index cards leading to the center.

00:24:34.000 Kanye's record release is in the center.

00:24:36.000 And then all these things spray out to Yeezys and flip-flops and all these slides.

00:24:43.000 And he's got a bunch of theories along the way.

00:24:46.000 I've never heard your theory, but does it involve the car accident that he had right before he became popular?

00:24:52.000 I think he has brain damage from this car accident.

00:24:54.000 Those are the people that honestly think that he is still on...

00:24:58.000 He said he was on opioids from getting a lipo, actually.

00:25:06.000 Because a lot of the media scrutiny on him being fat, he said, led him to go getting lipo, which led him to having a painkiller addiction. 0.99

00:25:14.000 And he was on an opioid thing, and he was very afraid when he went to the psycho hospital that he was going to get killed, and people were going to take him away for all the shit he was saying. 0.87

00:25:22.000 So he did have some issues, and I think he's publicly said he's been on some other medication, so he might be on or off of it right now. 0.95

00:25:30.000 Well, he should definitely run for president then.

00:25:32.000 Poopity scoop.

00:25:34.000 I mean, now he's in.

00:25:35.000 It's perfect.

00:25:37.000 He's got all the right ingredients.

00:25:38.000 He's an artist, though.

00:25:39.000 That's all I think.

00:25:40.000 He's just an artist putting out music.

00:25:41.000 I would take Kanye over Trump any day, though.

00:25:43.000 Here's that thing that you just...

00:25:44.000 You're out of your mind.

00:25:45.000 Here's that thing that you just said, though, about the accident.

00:25:48.000 You know, that's the story of Sam Kinison as well.

00:25:51.000 Oh, yeah.

00:25:52.000 Yeah, Sam Kinison was a...

00:25:53.000 When he was a boy...

00:25:55.000 He apparently was like super normal kid and then he got hit by a car really bad and From that point on he became a different person came wild and reckless and crazy and It's the way football players get their head hit.

00:26:10.000 Fighters, yep.

00:26:11.000 And murder their wife, O.J. Simpson. 0.99

00:26:14.000 You know, his doctor said that they would use that as a defense.

00:26:18.000 They would consider using that as a defense if that trial was to happen today.

00:26:22.000 100%.

00:26:22.000 It's like that other guy, the guy that ended up killing himself, the football player, what is his name?

00:26:29.000 He went to jail and he hung himself.

00:26:31.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:26:36.000 Adrian...

00:26:36.000 What's his name, Jamie?

00:26:39.000 Hernandez.

00:26:39.000 Aaron Hernandez.

00:26:41.000 That's right.

00:26:42.000 Yo, Adrian!

00:26:43.000 Yeah, but they're saying that he probably had that, too.

00:26:44.000 No, he 100% did.

00:26:47.000 100%.

00:26:48.000 It's not a matter of whether or not you have brain damage.

00:26:50.000 It's a matter of how much.

00:26:51.000 How much do you have and can you work with it?

00:26:55.000 If you get hit in the head a lot, you have brain damage.

00:27:00.000 Your brain does not want to get hit.

00:27:02.000 It's not normal.

00:27:03.000 Aaron Hernandez suffered from most severe CT he ever found in a person his age.

00:27:08.000 He's kind of like Brennan Schaub.

00:27:10.000 Looks like it.

00:27:11.000 Yeah, looks like it.

00:27:12.000 But Brennan's way more keto right now.

00:27:14.000 Very thin.

00:27:14.000 They've never seen a brain like his in someone younger than someone 46. Yeah.

00:27:19.000 He's like 25, maybe.

00:27:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:20.000 Dude, I'm telling you, there is a fucking epidemic of this shit. 1.00

00:27:24.000 And it includes all sorts of people that get their head hit. 1.00

00:27:28.000 Whether it's BMX guys that are constantly crashing.

00:27:32.000 I mean, you think about how many times a BMX guy will crash in his career.

00:27:35.000 How many head bumps he takes.

00:27:39.000 Skateboarders. 1.00

00:27:40.000 Notorious for doing crazy shit, wiping. 1.00

00:27:42.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:27:43.000 The older you get, does it look kind of like a pit bull, does it swell and it gets worse?

00:27:47.000 No.

00:27:50.000 No, they do say the damage is cumulative.

00:27:53.000 It's a cumulative over, I think, a period of like 10 years from the initial incident.

00:27:59.000 So, like, say if you have a really bad car accident.

00:28:02.000 Your brain will continue to deteriorate for 10 years from the effects of that accident.

00:28:08.000 When a guy told me that, I was like, how do you know?

00:28:11.000 And I don't know how they know.

00:28:12.000 I don't remember.

00:28:12.000 He kind of explained it.

00:28:14.000 But I was like, so you mean a guy who gets knocked out...

00:28:17.000 We were at the fights when he was telling me this.

00:28:19.000 So I'm like, you tell me a guy who gets knocked out today...

00:28:22.000 Is it going to feel the real repercussions of that knockout in 10 years?

00:28:25.000 He's like, yes, it's very possible that's the case.

00:28:28.000 Wow.

00:28:28.000 It's going to take 10 years to show its full effects.

00:28:31.000 So if you see someone who's fucked up now, like if they've got brain damage now, like as time goes on, it's going to be like, like Muhammad Ali was one of the weirder ones because he had developed a neurological disease.

00:28:44.000 He developed Parkinson's. 0.90

00:28:46.000 But there's trauma-induced Parkinson's.

00:28:49.000 A lot of people are trying to say, no, no, no, Ali got Parkinson's.

00:28:51.000 It was a disease.

00:28:52.000 Yeah, maybe.

00:28:53.000 But you know who else has Parkinson's?

00:28:55.000 Freddie Roach, the boxing coach, and he openly discusses the fact that it's trauma-induced.

00:29:01.000 He got it from his long boxing career. 1.00

00:29:04.000 Just because it's a brain disease doesn't mean the brain disease didn't come from getting the fuck beat out of your brain. 0.99

00:29:10.000 I mean, imagine if you had a game that you played where people like to kick you in the liver. 0.99

00:29:15.000 This is the game. 1.00

00:29:16.000 You know, you kick me in the liver, I kick you in the liver. 1.00

00:29:18.000 And then later on, you develop liver cancer. 0.98

00:29:21.000 And people are like, yeah, but he used to like to drink...

00:29:24.000 Oh, he had sclerosis.

00:29:25.000 Had nothing to do with getting kicked a lot.

00:29:27.000 Oh, okay.

00:29:29.000 Nothing to do.

00:29:30.000 I'm sure he has a super healthy brain after getting pounded on for decades. 1.00

00:29:35.000 That's ridiculous. 0.99

00:29:36.000 That doesn't make any sense. 0.99

00:29:39.000 Jesus.

00:29:39.000 Yeah.

00:29:40.000 Jesus.

00:29:40.000 Dude, I have probably the most minor of brain damages.

00:29:45.000 Probably the most minor, because I stopped when I was 21. Yeah, what's your number?

00:29:49.000 How many times did I get hit?

00:29:50.000 How many times do you think, oh, that did damage?

00:29:54.000 Oh, 100%.

00:29:55.000 There's a bunch of them.

00:29:57.000 There's a bunch of them that I can think back about getting rocked and feeling my knees go, like getting punched and then keep sparring, keep sparring, spar two more rounds with that guy, spar three rounds with another guy, he's hitting you in the face too.

00:30:11.000 Like you didn't stop. 0.98

00:30:12.000 It was really dumb. 0.99

00:30:13.000 You'd get hit and you'd get rocked and nobody sat you down and go, okay, let's take the day off. 0.99

00:30:19.000 No, you get right back in there, man. 1.00

00:30:21.000 Your fucking legs would go, bang! 1.00

00:30:23.000 But your legs would go and you'd cover up and, you know, people would be throwing bombs on you. 1.00

00:30:27.000 And you'd, next day, sparring again.

00:30:30.000 Is there a way to detect it?

00:30:32.000 Like get your brain scanned so you can see?

00:30:33.000 There's better ways now.

00:30:34.000 There's better ways now.

00:30:35.000 But I had a limited amount of it.

00:30:37.000 I mean, I had the real getting wrapped in the head for me came when I tried to transition from Taekwondo to kickboxing.

00:30:45.000 Doing Taekwondo, I definitely got hit in the head, for sure.

00:30:48.000 But I didn't get hit in the head as much.

00:30:50.000 Because it's hard to kick people in the head.

00:30:52.000 You definitely get hit.

00:30:53.000 I mean, I don't know how many times.

00:30:54.000 I definitely got hit.

00:30:55.000 But I never got knocked out from a head kick.

00:30:58.000 But I got knocked out from punches before.

00:31:00.000 At least TKO'd.

00:31:01.000 I got TKO'd. 0.57

00:31:02.000 But when a punch hits your face...

00:31:05.000 It's like your legs go, everything shuts off.

00:31:09.000 If you get rocked and you see a person go down, it's not that they go down like, oh, there's so much pain, I have to go down.

00:31:16.000 No.

00:31:16.000 You get hit and everything shuts off.

00:31:19.000 It just goes...

00:31:19.000 And then you feel your legs like rubber.

00:31:22.000 You're trying to stand back up.

00:31:23.000 Did you just watch the last UFC where Edson Barboza head kicked Kevin Lee?

00:31:27.000 Yes.

00:31:28.000 You see that?

00:31:28.000 He's spinning wheel kicked him.

00:31:29.000 And you see Kevin Lee's legs just go boink.

00:31:32.000 They just gave out for a second.

00:31:33.000 And then he came back and...

00:31:37.000 Those ones I got way more when I was boxing.

00:31:40.000 I got way more of those.

00:31:42.000 I was not good at boxing.

00:31:45.000 When I first got into boxing, I was good at Taekwondo, but then I got into boxing, I was not good at it.

00:31:50.000 I didn't know what I was doing.

00:31:52.000 I didn't understand the distance.

00:31:53.000 Taekwondo, you didn't punch in the face, you only punched the body, so you had a real distorted perception of how good you were with your hands.

00:31:59.000 And then once I started boxing, I was like, ooh, this is terrible.

00:32:04.000 That's when I was taking, like, probably the most damage of my life.

00:32:09.000 Of a period of, like, two years of, like, a lot of sparring.

00:32:13.000 I did a lot of sparring.

00:32:15.000 Everybody sparred.

00:32:16.000 Everybody sparred with everybody.

00:32:18.000 People knocked people out all the time. 1.00

00:32:21.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

00:32:23.000 So stupid. 1.00

00:32:25.000 I see guys get knocked out. 1.00

00:32:26.000 I mean, out cold.

00:32:27.000 Right hand to the chin.

00:32:29.000 Boom! 0.99

00:32:30.000 Eyes roll behind their head.

00:32:31.000 Legs give out.

00:32:32.000 They bounce off the canvas.

00:32:34.000 They put a cold towel on him.

00:32:36.000 They put some ice on his head.

00:32:37.000 He gets up.

00:32:38.000 He's like, I'm good.

00:32:38.000 I'm good.

00:32:39.000 I'm good.

00:32:39.000 You want to keep going?

00:32:40.000 Yeah, let's keep going.

00:32:41.000 Let's keep going.

00:32:42.000 You were just unconscious.

00:32:43.000 You were just unconscious five minutes ago.

00:32:46.000 And you want to keep sparring?

00:32:47.000 This is crazy.

00:32:48.000 And they'd let them.

00:32:48.000 They'd let them keep sparring.

00:32:49.000 You did it from when you were, like, real young, right?

00:32:52.000 Taekwondo from when I was, well, I took karate classes when I was 14. But when I got super serious, I was 15. I was, like, right at my, before my sophomore year of high school.

00:33:02.000 So, like, I got into it from the time I was in the ninth grade.

00:33:08.000 As I was 14, like that summer, like right after my birthday, around is when I started getting into tights.

00:33:14.000 So I was probably either 14 or just turning 15. I was going to ask, like, was there a point you could tell where people actually could be able to knock people out and give that damage?

00:33:24.000 Because there may be...

00:33:25.000 14-year-olds can knock you out.

00:33:27.000 The thing about kicks is almost anybody can knock you out.

00:33:30.000 It's really crazy.

00:33:31.000 Like, when you think of the amount of power that you have to have, like...

00:33:36.000 In your legs.

00:33:37.000 Say if you decide to put a heavy backpack on, like one of those outdoorsman's Atlas trainers and put 90 pounds on, you could walk up flights of stairs, dude.

00:33:47.000 Just think how much power that is in your legs.

00:33:50.000 You could throw your body up flights of stairs for exercise.

00:33:56.000 Your body is, whatever you weigh, 150, 200, whatever you weigh, your body is just launching that through the air over and over and over again.

00:34:04.000 Even if you're a girl that weighs 135 pounds, you're still launching 135 pounds through the air. 0.99

00:34:10.000 And if that girl fucking shins you, right on your temple, like goes across the jaw temple area, your legs are going to give out, your brain's going to shut off. 1.00

00:34:23.000 If somebody hits you perfect, There's a video of... 1.00

00:34:27.000 I think the guy was...

00:34:28.000 I think it was Mighty Mo.

00:34:32.000 Mighty Mo, who's this huge kickboxer.

00:34:35.000 I believe he was Samoan.

00:34:39.000 I mean, just like typical Samoan dude. 1.00

00:34:41.000 Big, giant, fucking powerhouse of a dude. 0.99

00:34:45.000 And he fought this little Thai guy. 0.99

00:34:47.000 This Thai guy was 175 pounds.

00:34:50.000 So much smaller than him.

00:34:51.000 I mean, it was crazy to watch.

00:34:53.000 The Thai guy's just moving away, moving away, moving away. 1.00

00:34:55.000 And then the Thai guy, roundhouse, kicks him in the head. 1.00

00:34:58.000 This guy. 0.97

00:34:58.000 Like, look at the difference in size. 0.97

00:35:02.000 And watch this.

00:35:04.000 This dude just comes over the top.

00:35:06.000 I mean, the difference between the two of them...

00:35:09.000 Mighty Moe is a beast, too.

00:35:11.000 Seriously dangerous knockout puncher.

00:35:13.000 He put a lot of guys to sleep.

00:35:15.000 So not as this guy in there with someone way bigger than him, but he's in there with a killer.

00:35:20.000 But boom, look at that.

00:35:21.000 One head kick, and Mighty Moe's down and out. 0.99

00:35:24.000 I mean, back that up again, because that is a crazy thing to watch.

00:35:28.000 You're talking about a guy who might have been 100 pounds lighter than him.

00:35:32.000 And Mighty Moe's just a vicious puncher. 0.73

00:35:34.000 Bang! 1.00

00:35:35.000 You just clanged him right in the head.

00:35:37.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:35:38.000 A girl does that to you? 1.00

00:35:39.000 Night-night, son.

00:35:39.000 Yeah, I was thinking more like two ten-year-olds, like, knock each other out.

00:35:44.000 That's a good point because the thought process is that if you teach kids technique, don't teach them to just go in these wild fucking haymaker exchanges, but teach them how to do it correctly. 0.68

00:35:55.000 It's good to do it when they're young because they don't hurt each other. 0.91

00:35:57.000 Because they have little tiny arms and they just kind of touch each other.

00:36:00.000 And they can't really generate knockout power.

00:36:02.000 And if they learn how to do that from the beginning and then develop knockout power on the pads and on the bag, then you develop much more technically proficient fighters rather than brawlers.

00:36:13.000 So the problem with fighting is most people don't fight to the physical ability of their body.

00:36:20.000 They decide...

00:36:23.000 Like they're going to knock this guy out. 0.98

00:36:24.000 I'm going to try to hit him with this.

00:36:25.000 And they think in this real limited sort of linear, aggressive, like almost obvious manner.

00:36:31.000 And then you got guys who see past that, who take things to a new place.

00:36:37.000 You got guys who figure out that you can be like really elusive and confusing.

00:36:44.000 Then you see those guys fight, like, limited, blocky, like, obvious fighters.

00:36:50.000 And, like, Anderson Silva in his prime is a perfect example of that.

00:36:53.000 Anderson was an artist.

00:36:55.000 I mean, he would just, he would, you didn't know what he was going to do.

00:36:57.000 He'd study you.

00:36:58.000 He'd be moving around.

00:36:59.000 He'd be standing in front of you.

00:37:00.000 He'd be dancing.

00:37:02.000 He'd just be following you around. 1.00

00:37:03.000 And then all of a sudden, he'd just say, I got this motherfucker figured out. 1.00

00:37:07.000 Bang! 1.00

00:37:07.000 He would just move in on you. 1.00

00:37:09.000 Bang! 1.00

00:37:09.000 And you didn't know what was coming. 1.00

00:37:10.000 Flying knee.

00:37:11.000 You didn't know what was coming. 0.93

00:37:12.000 Roundhouse kick, front kick to the face. 1.00

00:37:14.000 You didn't know what the fuck was coming, man. 0.99

00:37:16.000 It was a totally different kind of fighter. 0.98

00:37:18.000 So the difference between that and a guy who's just like a powerhouse of a person and can knock guys out, but never achieves this sort of mastery of space and distance.

00:37:30.000 They win fights through brawling and power and just kinetic brute force rather than artistry.

00:37:37.000 And avoidance and countering.

00:37:39.000 Like Conor McGregor when he knocked out Jose Aldo.

00:37:42.000 Perfect example. 1.00

00:37:43.000 Aldo's like, fuck you! 1.00

00:37:44.000 Charging at him. 1.00

00:37:45.000 Conor slides back.

00:37:47.000 Bop! 1.00

00:37:47.000 Drops a fucking left hand on the button. 1.00

00:37:49.000 Bop bop! 1.00

00:37:50.000 And he's the champ champ.

00:37:51.000 I mean, come on.

00:37:52.000 Or champ.

00:37:53.000 Then became the champ champ.

00:37:54.000 Champ champ.

00:37:55.000 But that thing is hard to figure out. 1.00

00:38:00.000 Sometimes guys just decide to rather bite down their mouthpiece and let the fucking chips fly. 0.99

00:38:07.000 It's not. 0.99

00:38:07.000 It's the funnest part of the end of a fight. 0.99

00:38:09.000 Almost like the last 30 seconds, 20 seconds when they just throw it out.

00:38:12.000 Crazy!

00:38:12.000 Because they know there's no more time left.

00:38:14.000 Yeah, they just try to win.

00:38:15.000 Try to stop it.

00:38:17.000 Yeah, some of those fights are awesome.

00:38:19.000 Look, as a person watching, those things are awesome.

00:38:22.000 There's two different parts the way I look at fights. 0.88

00:38:24.000 Like, I love a good Diego Sanchez-Gilbert Melendez fight where they just fucking go crazy for three rounds. 0.94

00:38:30.000 I love that. 0.81

00:38:31.000 That was one of my favorite fights ever.

00:38:33.000 But I also love real technical fights where I see two artists trying to solve each other's riddle, trying to figure each other out, you know?

00:38:45.000 Like, Luke Rockhold versus Yoel Romero was that.

00:38:48.000 Like, Yoel was just trying to figure him out.

00:38:50.000 Trying to figure him out.

00:38:51.000 Maybe I move like this.

00:38:53.000 And then, boom!

00:38:54.000 Drops that left hand on him.

00:38:56.000 Same thing with him versus Chris Weidman.

00:38:58.000 He's just moving around.

00:38:59.000 It's hard to figure out what he's going to do.

00:39:01.000 Hard to figure out what's coming.

00:39:02.000 And then, boom!

00:39:03.000 Flying knee to the chin.

00:39:05.000 Or to the head.

00:39:06.000 He's a great example of a guy who just figures out how to break your rhythm and figure it through.

00:39:11.000 Rather than just running at you and just Clash, clash, clash.

00:39:16.000 You know, Frank Mir was just talking about that Fedor fight, and he was saying that his ego got the best of him.

00:39:22.000 Did you see the fight?

00:39:23.000 It was a really good fight, really crazy, until Fedor KO'd him.

00:39:27.000 Fedor caught him with a left hand and dropped him and put him away.

00:39:29.000 But before Fedor KO'd him, Frank Mir had hit Fedor, and it got interesting in the very beginning seconds of the fight, but then Fedor hit him with a perfectly timed hip throw. 0.99

00:39:41.000 Just fucking BOOM! I mean, sent him flying through the air and slammed him to the ground, and apparently, Frank said, from that moment on, his ego got the best of him. 0.59

00:39:50.000 He was trying to get him back, and he wound up just getting in this crazy brawl, And getting knocked out.

00:39:55.000 It's really, fighting to me is so, it's so interesting.

00:39:59.000 You know, it's just so interesting when you see all the different things that people can do and how they're going to match up together and what one person's going to be able to figure out how to get their ideas through. 1.00

00:40:09.000 My idea is I want to kick this motherfucker in the head. 1.00

00:40:11.000 How can I do this? 1.00

00:40:12.000 I got to figure out how to get through. 1.00

00:40:13.000 And his idea is I want to take this guy down and punch his fucking face in. 1.00

00:40:16.000 How do I figure out how to do this? 1.00

00:40:17.000 And then the two of them are just like trying each other's strat.

00:40:20.000 And you don't really know. 0.99

00:40:21.000 You don't fucking know. 0.98

00:40:22.000 You don't know until they get in there for the most part. 1.00

00:40:25.000 It's the greatest shit ever. 0.98

00:40:26.000 With the judging, have they ever tried, like, sharing in between rounds what the scores are so you don't have to guess? 1.00

00:40:33.000 People would throw rocks at those people.

00:40:35.000 What if they don't say who it is or they don't have to be?

00:40:37.000 It's a bad idea. 0.98

00:40:38.000 They'd kill them all just by being associated with it. 0.99

00:40:41.000 What if they weren't there? 0.99

00:40:41.000 What if they're, like, in the back room? 0.99

00:40:43.000 Oh, that's even worse.

00:40:44.000 Why aren't they there?

00:40:45.000 Maybe the judging would be better if they were there.

00:40:46.000 Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

00:40:47.000 Do they have to be there?

00:40:49.000 Does it have to be...

00:40:51.000 In-person judging?

00:40:53.000 They're actually elevated.

00:40:54.000 They're a little higher than everybody else, too.

00:40:56.000 They're looking at it above me.

00:40:59.000 When the action's happening on the other side of the octagon, you can't see anything.

00:41:02.000 I know they get a monitor, but what's the point in being there if they can't see anything?

00:41:06.000 We had to make sure they got monitors.

00:41:08.000 They didn't get monitors in the beginning.

00:41:09.000 In the olden days, they didn't have monitors.

00:41:11.000 And I was going crazy.

00:41:12.000 I was like, how is it that I, a person who has no effect whatsoever on the score of this fight, I have a monitor.

00:41:19.000 I can ask for a replay. 0.99

00:41:20.000 I have all this shit at my disposal. 0.99

00:41:21.000 I have earphones on with a microphone and I can press the truck. 0.99

00:41:25.000 I go, can I see that again?

00:41:26.000 And they'll show it to me on the B screen.

00:41:28.000 I'm like, yeah, his ankle broke.

00:41:29.000 And so the production, like sometimes during a fight, will tell them, hey, Joe, we got the headbutt.

00:41:33.000 It was a headbutt that caused that cut.

00:41:35.000 And then I'll say, okay, I'm just hearing from the truck now that it was a headbutt.

00:41:38.000 We're going to show you that as soon as we can.

00:41:39.000 But I'm watching it on that screen right there.

00:41:41.000 Why can't the judges get that?

00:41:43.000 How long ago did that change?

00:41:45.000 It seems like that should have been day one.

00:41:47.000 It wasn't that long ago.

00:41:48.000 Wow.

00:41:48.000 I don't think the judges have access to replays, though.

00:41:50.000 They can't call up a replay like I can.

00:41:52.000 Why not?

00:41:53.000 Maybe they shouldn't be able to.

00:41:54.000 They should be able to.

00:41:54.000 They don't have a little bit too much time to judge or think about it.

00:41:57.000 No, you need to know things.

00:41:58.000 You need to know things. 0.99

00:41:59.000 Like if a guy gets kicked in the balls. 0.99

00:42:00.000 Was that a real kick in the balls? 0.99

00:42:01.000 Watch after the fact, because you don't want their attention taken from what's going, the action. 0.98

00:42:07.000 Depends.

00:42:07.000 To stop and watch the replay.

00:42:08.000 Depends.

00:42:09.000 Yeah.

00:42:09.000 I mean, I think it should just be an option for if something's up.

00:42:14.000 Like, what happened there?

00:42:15.000 Did he get rocked or did he fall on his ankle?

00:42:17.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:42:18.000 Like, what happened there?

00:42:20.000 And there's only one way to tell sometimes.

00:42:21.000 You gotta see it again.

00:42:22.000 Can I see that again, please?

00:42:23.000 They should be able to say, can I see that again, please?

00:42:25.000 Every sport has that.

00:42:26.000 Yeah.

00:42:27.000 Well, they have instant replays now, which is interesting.

00:42:30.000 Like, say if a guy pokes a guy in the eye and the judge wants to call for an instant replay.

00:42:34.000 But once they institute the instant replay in some states, the fight is over. 0.89

00:42:39.000 That's silly. 0.92

00:42:39.000 That's so crazy. 0.92

00:42:40.000 That doesn't make any sense.

00:42:41.000 So if I say no instant replay, I'll just take this eye poke and keep fighting, that's okay?

00:42:45.000 But if you want to look at it on video, the fight's over.

00:42:48.000 What?

00:42:49.000 That's right.

00:42:50.000 I compare it to the NBA, which I watch a lot.

00:42:52.000 They go to the replay a lot, which is a little annoying as a viewer, but they're trying to get it right, which they have a team of people in New York where they're watching all the angles.

00:43:01.000 They can pull up anything they want.

00:43:02.000 They can see anything.

00:43:03.000 They take as much time as they need to.

00:43:05.000 Sometimes it takes five minutes, but...

00:43:06.000 Why not do that with fighting?

00:43:07.000 They get it right, you know.

00:43:09.000 Common sense.

00:43:09.000 Why doesn't that exist?

00:43:11.000 It should definitely exist, and I mean, we talked about it with Michael Chandler yesterday that there should be more judges.

00:43:16.000 Definitely shouldn't be only three judges. 0.86

00:43:18.000 It's ridiculous. 0.89

00:43:19.000 It doesn't make any sense. 0.94

00:43:20.000 There's no reason to limit it to three judges.

00:43:22.000 I bet you would get far more competent, far more knowledgeable judges for free than you would even if you paid them. 0.99

00:43:30.000 Pull up their fucking Twitter account. 1.00

00:43:32.000 Blow their Twitter account up. 1.00

00:43:33.000 They'll judge you for free.

00:43:34.000 There's so many MMA fans out there that would love to judge fights, and they actually understand fighting.

00:43:39.000 They really get it, and they love it.

00:43:41.000 They're not just doing it because it's a job, and they used to do boxing, and this is a good way to make $1,500 on a Saturday night or whatever.

00:43:49.000 They're doing it because they actually love it.

00:43:52.000 So many people would do it.

00:43:53.000 It would be way better.

00:43:55.000 You could definitely judge from home, too.

00:43:57.000 We definitely should have...

00:43:59.000 I mean, why not have, like, an online scorecard as well?

00:44:03.000 Like, why not have that as an option so the UFC could let everybody know how bad the judges are?

00:44:08.000 I mean, I'm not saying that everybody online is gonna know what the fuck they're talking about, but enough people online are gonna know what they're talking about where it'll balance out.

00:44:18.000 So if you had just, like, Ten judges and then the online judges.

00:44:24.000 Have an online scorecard.

00:44:25.000 If you pay for Fight Pass, you probably are willing to have some knowledge on the sport.

00:44:30.000 Yeah!

00:44:30.000 Just put it in the app.

00:44:32.000 Say like Connor fights Unknown Bob.

00:44:35.000 All the Connor fans are going to vote for him anyway.

00:44:37.000 Yeah, but it'll balance out because Unknown Bob will probably have some fans too.

00:44:41.000 And then people will be a bunch of haters.

00:44:43.000 They're hoping that Connor fails because he's got a limousine.

00:44:46.000 Fight Pass, you've got to pay for your vote in that case.

00:44:48.000 You want to pay ten bucks every time.

00:44:50.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:44:52.000 If you add an app, you have a UFC app, and the app, all it has to do, they just make it so it's interactive.

00:44:58.000 So with each fight, after the fight's over, you click winner or loser.

00:45:02.000 You know, that's all you have to do.

00:45:04.000 Just click winner. 0.96

00:45:05.000 And if you're optional, you could put in your own score, but get the fuck out of here. 0.98

00:45:09.000 The scoring sucks anyway. 1.00

00:45:10.000 The 10-point must system is stupid. 1.00

00:45:12.000 It's a borrowed system. 1.00

00:45:14.000 It's not a good system for all those weapons.

00:45:17.000 It's a good system for two weapons.

00:45:19.000 Punches.

00:45:20.000 You got kicks and knees and elbows and chokes, takedowns, defense.

00:45:25.000 You got slams and throws and, come on, wheel kicks and spinning back kicks.

00:45:32.000 What's better, a spinning back kick or a jab? 0.79

00:45:36.000 Boxing is a punch or a punch. 0.73

00:45:38.000 Like, that punch was harder than that punch.

00:45:39.000 But unless someone's kicking you in the leg, you don't even know what that feels like.

00:45:43.000 You have no idea.

00:45:44.000 The guy's just walking around like nothing happened.

00:45:46.000 You can't score that if nobody's ever kicked you in the legs.

00:45:48.000 They should have a full bodysuit that detects punches and how strong it is. 0.98

00:45:54.000 Yeah, but then it takes away from the fucking rawness of it all. 0.94

00:45:59.000 You can't have people fighting in bodysuits. 0.90

00:46:00.000 Well, in the future, it will look like you don't have anything on.

00:46:03.000 A lot of gals have to wear something that covers their midsection. 1.00

00:46:07.000 They have a sports bra, strapped down, sort of jammy, and they wear something that covers their midsection too.

00:46:14.000 That's interesting.

00:46:15.000 They have to have their stomach covered.

00:46:17.000 Or they're allowed to have their stomach covered. 0.83

00:46:19.000 Just to keep their boobs in check. 1.00

00:46:22.000 Like, everybody's gotta stay in the party. 1.00

00:46:24.000 Can't fuck up those titties. 1.00

00:46:25.000 Cats and Gone will be on soon. 1.00

00:46:26.000 She'll explain it to us.

00:46:27.000 Because she had a wardrobe malfunction in one of her fights. 0.95

00:46:31.000 Oh, really?

00:46:32.000 Jamie, pull that up.

00:46:34.000 Slip of the dark skin. 1.00

00:46:35.000 Just a tiny slip, slip, slip of the dark skin. 1.00

00:46:40.000 Isn't that funny? 0.99

00:46:41.000 Every dude shows his nipple. 0.99

00:46:43.000 Every dude who fights shows his nipple. 1.00

00:46:45.000 Girl goes out and shows her nipple. 1.00

00:46:46.000 Everybody goes crazy. 0.99

00:46:47.000 You know what's funny?

00:46:48.000 Twitch?

00:46:49.000 Twitch won't even let a grown man take off his shirt.

00:46:52.000 Good. 0.81

00:46:52.000 You'll be banned. 0.81

00:46:54.000 Keep your clothes on, you freak.

00:46:56.000 People are always like, why don't you broadcast on Twitch? 0.95

00:46:58.000 Because if I can get banned for just showing a nipple, what else?

00:47:01.000 I mean, anything. 0.84

00:47:02.000 A man can get banned.

00:47:03.000 Like Burt Kreischer, if he tried to do the Burt cast on Twitch, he would immediately be banned.

00:47:09.000 He could maybe talk to them and they might be able to.

00:47:11.000 But most people, yeah, it's against the guidelines to show skin like that. 0.98

00:47:14.000 It's a lot of those things.

00:47:17.000 That's the only problem with Twitch is you forget it's made for babies. 0.99

00:47:20.000 That's so silly. 1.00

00:47:22.000 You can't show man boobs? 1.00

00:47:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:24.000 It's pretty ridiculous. 1.00

00:47:25.000 What if you're super flat chested? 0.93

00:47:27.000 What if you take your shirt off and you're smooth?

00:47:30.000 I just don't want people taking their shirts off there.

00:47:32.000 Okay, what if you take your shirt off and you have pasties on?

00:47:36.000 They do have people that do body paint, so there is a little bit of a...

00:47:40.000 Oh! 0.60

00:47:41.000 Body paint's okay, huh?

00:47:43.000 So if you decide to do the British flag, paint that over your body, that's okay?

00:47:50.000 But you just can't be no paint. 0.99

00:47:52.000 Strip clubs in Columbus, Ohio, the ones that serve alcohol, they can't even show their tits. 1.00

00:47:57.000 They have to wear pasties. 0.99

00:47:59.000 But they have pasties that look like better areolas.

00:48:02.000 You know, like, oh, I'm going to have these nice darker ones. 0.99

00:48:04.000 Like fake pasties?

00:48:05.000 Whoa.

00:48:07.000 Wow.

00:48:07.000 That's sick.

00:48:09.000 Body paint's pretty cool when it's done right.

00:48:11.000 Well, that is incredible.

00:48:13.000 That's really good.

00:48:13.000 Go back to that again.

00:48:16.000 Yeah.

00:48:17.000 That's neat.

00:48:18.000 There's a couple of them.

00:48:19.000 I'm missing this.

00:48:20.000 She's doing this character on the side here. 0.91

00:48:22.000 Right.

00:48:23.000 But that's all her, really?

00:48:25.000 I'm pretty sure.

00:48:26.000 Wow. 0.85

00:48:27.000 Well, she's definitely got some kind of a boob pad going on. 1.00

00:48:30.000 Wow, that's amazing.

00:48:32.000 Yeah, some people are really good.

00:48:33.000 She did that to herself? 1.00

00:48:35.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:48:37.000 Have you ever seen the girl on Instagram where she will paint her eyes up here and then have a fake nose and a fake mouth and it looks like a completely different face and then she opens her real eyes and you're like, well, that's not... 0.99

00:48:48.000 I don't remember her name though.

00:48:50.000 I'll find it.

00:48:51.000 She's hot. 1.00

00:48:52.000 Yeah, this is basically you're looking at naked boobs that just got paint on them, so we let it slide. 0.99

00:48:57.000 So is this this girl's thing? 0.99

00:48:58.000 She just gets her boobs painted and goes on... 1.00

00:49:00.000 Oh my gosh, she does. 0.99

00:49:02.000 That's her thing. 1.00

00:49:02.000 That is hilarious. 1.00

00:49:04.000 That's great.

00:49:05.000 That's a way that you could see the whole thing.

00:49:07.000 Girls are trying to figure out, this dress is just not tight enough. 1.00

00:49:10.000 It's not revealing enough.

00:49:12.000 There were some girls that were playing games on Twitch just in like a bikini or whatnot, and they got in trouble for that, so they had to take their scheme over to YouTube or some other sites. 1.00

00:49:20.000 How long before someone comes up with a non-toxic paint that girls can paint all over their body and it's like a thin nylon layer and they'll go out and you'll see everything. 1.00

00:49:30.000 So you know there's going to be a few girls that just go for it. 1.00

00:49:33.000 Like this, Deadpool here, naked Deadpool girl. 0.97

00:49:37.000 There's going to be girls like that that just go for it. 1.00

00:49:43.000 My favorite is if you Google Twitch girl doesn't realize cameras still on after show and masturbates. 1.00

00:49:50.000 That's a good one. 0.98

00:49:51.000 That stuff's fake.

00:49:51.000 Is it?

00:49:52.000 Yeah, 100%.

00:49:53.000 Don't tell me.

00:49:53.000 You got busted, son.

00:49:54.000 Are you falling for that?

00:49:55.000 Come on.

00:49:56.000 Because the one I saw looked really real.

00:49:58.000 You just have the dream.

00:50:01.000 You wanted it to be real. 0.99

00:50:03.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

00:50:04.000 You call bullshit on everything. 1.00

00:50:06.000 Why did you not call bullshit on that? 0.99

00:50:08.000 I think this was like a well-known girl that did it, no? 0.98

00:50:11.000 Right.

00:50:11.000 Did she contact you on Instagram?

00:50:13.000 Was her name Mary9045?

00:50:16.000 Did you say hello, dear?

00:50:17.000 Well, no.

00:50:18.000 I mean, look.

00:50:18.000 There was no reason why it was like a bad...

00:50:21.000 Like she was half off the camera.

00:50:23.000 Like it looked like...

00:50:24.000 It wasn't like her center perfectly.

00:50:26.000 Like that's how I would do it if I was going to fake something.

00:50:28.000 No.

00:50:29.000 Wouldn't you fake it like that?

00:50:30.000 I guess I'm right.

00:50:31.000 Come on, son.

00:50:32.000 How dare you?

00:50:35.000 It's just sad.

00:50:36.000 Sad that you got roped into that.

00:50:37.000 I feel less of you now.

00:50:39.000 It's the first time it's happened, Joe.

00:50:42.000 There's too many scams.

00:50:43.000 There is.

00:50:44.000 Too easy to get.

00:50:45.000 The new one, I almost got scammed the other day.

00:50:47.000 The new one, I don't know what's going on lately with robocalls, but I'm getting a call almost every day like, this is the IRS. You need to contact us now.

00:50:57.000 Or, this is AT&T. We need to talk to you about your billing.

00:51:01.000 Please enter your credit card info right now.

00:51:03.000 Do they call you when you're high?

00:51:04.000 No.

00:51:04.000 Non-stop.

00:51:05.000 No, but it's interesting because I think T-Mobile does it.

00:51:10.000 Does your phone come up now just as scam likely?

00:51:13.000 Does it do that?

00:51:14.000 Yeah, like T-Mobile's now filtering out these calls and it's telling me if it's a scam.

00:51:18.000 Ooh, I like T-Mobile.

00:51:20.000 I like that.

00:51:21.000 Yeah, it's gonna be cool and say merge recently that as the rest of the world sort of gets online like For instance like parts of Africa that aren't online now will be online eventually That the scams will switch back like the Nigerian Prince scam will be American scamming people in Africa They don't know about the scams yet because they haven't been a part of it.

00:51:40.000 Oh my god That's like some theories That's not a bad theory.

00:51:45.000 But those people were really good at scamming lonely people.

00:51:49.000 It was such a sad show I was watching once about this old guy.

00:51:53.000 And I think the guy's daughter was trying to tell him that this girl wasn't real.

00:51:57.000 And he kept going to England for her.

00:51:59.000 He went to Europe twice.

00:52:01.000 To meet her and both times something came up she couldn't meet him and then he went back again and he keeps sending her money He's been sending her money sent her I want to say like a quarter million dollars and His daughter was like it's not really you can see the guy like like they're filming him and talking to him and he had this like Look in his eye like he's hoping they're wrong but thinking they might be right like he was going insane He was going insane from loneliness Sad.

00:52:26.000 I see it every day on the webcam sites.

00:52:29.000 Yeah, there's guys that every single day I go there, the same guy's there, and he's spending money non-stop all day long, and he's just on there all day.

00:52:37.000 He must spend thousands of dollars a day.

00:52:39.000 How a billion-dollar internet scam is breaking hearts and bank accounts, criminal networks defraud lonely people around the world with false promises of love and romance.

00:52:50.000 Sigh.

00:52:52.000 You know, you can analyze this from a lot of ways like it's predatory behavior.

00:52:56.000 I caught a coyote in my yard last night.

00:52:58.000 It's predatory behavior, right?

00:53:00.000 There's gonna have human coyotes. 0.99

00:53:02.000 You're always gonna...

00:53:02.000 I didn't catch them like catch them, catch them.

00:53:05.000 I chased them out of my yard.

00:53:06.000 They're trying to get my chickens.

00:53:08.000 But this is a predatory behavior on a weak person, you know?

00:53:16.000 On one hand, I feel upset that they would go after these people, these lonely people.

00:53:21.000 But on the other hand, it's fascinating to me because what a drug people's love is.

00:53:28.000 What a drug that is.

00:53:29.000 How important it is that people find people that care about them, that like them and care about them.

00:53:37.000 It's so important.

00:53:38.000 When you don't have that in your life, you just feel so empty.

00:53:42.000 And it's one of probably the most major sources of like bad feelings in people.

00:53:50.000 So they just don't have anybody that loves them.

00:53:52.000 They don't have good friends.

00:53:54.000 They don't have good people around them.

00:53:57.000 And they're just sad.

00:53:59.000 Just sad.

00:54:00.000 To the point where someone comes along and goes, sad.

00:54:04.000 We can help you.

00:54:06.000 Sad.

00:54:08.000 Come on.

00:54:09.000 Come over here.

00:54:10.000 We've got girls.

00:54:11.000 Girls who want to meet you.

00:54:13.000 Girls in your town.

00:54:15.000 Girls.

00:54:16.000 Sign up.

00:54:17.000 You can meet girls.

00:54:18.000 Girls? 0.96

00:54:20.000 What kind of girls? 1.00

00:54:21.000 You know, it's like someone offering you food.

00:54:24.000 Facebook's new online dating service won't have ads.

00:54:27.000 I thought that said won't have AIDS. That's what I thought it said.

00:54:32.000 I was like, what the fuck are they saying? 0.97

00:54:33.000 It sounds like that'll take advantage of what you're talking about right now. 0.95

00:54:36.000 Their new online dating service won't have ads.

00:54:39.000 So, but it will have Russians.

00:54:41.000 All Russians.

00:54:42.000 All the time.

00:54:46.000 Well, I mean, it'd be nice if people could just meet people in the real world.

00:54:52.000 Just meeting people online stuff.

00:54:55.000 It's so weird how, like, I talk to people that use Tinder.

00:54:58.000 They hook up on Tinder, like, weekly.

00:55:00.000 And there's a lot of these people, like, that's all they do. 1.00

00:55:03.000 They'll just fuck people on Tinder all day. 1.00

00:55:05.000 And it just makes you wonder how many people just do that. 1.00

00:55:08.000 Like, you'll date a woman and she's already been fucked, like, seven times from, you know, you're the same... 0.98

00:55:17.000 You're taking extreme risks with your VD. There was a fucking thing where they wanted to sue online dating apps. 0.99

00:55:27.000 Someone was saying, should online dating apps be responsible for the increase in sexually transmitted diseases? 0.99

00:55:33.000 Should they be responsible?

00:55:35.000 As if they have some obligation to tell you to wear rubber. 1.00

00:55:40.000 How fucking stupid that is. 1.00

00:55:42.000 Like, they have some obligation. 1.00

00:55:44.000 They're like, you know, like, look, you know these poor little children are going to go fucking. 1.00

00:55:48.000 You need to tell them. 0.99

00:55:49.000 They need to protect themselves.

00:55:51.000 Like, these grown adults!

00:55:54.000 Grown adults using an app!

00:55:56.000 Tinder and Grindr don't want to talk about their role in rising STDs.

00:56:01.000 Good! 1.00

00:56:01.000 Why do you want to talk to them, you muckraking piece of shit? 1.00

00:56:04.000 Ha ha ha ha ha! 1.00

00:56:08.000 They don't have a role.

00:56:10.000 They connect people together.

00:56:11.000 People make their own decisions.

00:56:13.000 You've got to be responsible for your own actions, especially when it comes to something like that.

00:56:17.000 That's crazy.

00:56:18.000 And, you know, the other part is, like, the demonization of sex is a big part of this.

00:56:23.000 What about Tinder and Grindr?

00:56:24.000 What are you doing?

00:56:25.000 All those people are just having sex and getting STDs.

00:56:28.000 You're responsible.

00:56:29.000 What about your part?

00:56:29.000 What about your role?

00:56:31.000 Get out of here. 0.99

00:56:32.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

00:56:34.000 That's ridiculous. 0.99

00:56:35.000 Do bars have a role in liver sclerosis? 0.98

00:56:39.000 Should they pay people out?

00:56:40.000 Should they be financially responsible? 1.00

00:56:43.000 They're literally selling you the shit that kills you, and they have zero responsibility. 0.99

00:56:48.000 As long as they don't serve you while you're drunk and driving, as long as they cut you off in time, they say, hey, you got too drunk, we cut them off. 1.00

00:56:54.000 All right.

00:56:55.000 Sounds good.

00:56:56.000 They literally sell you the stuff that does it to you.

00:56:58.000 And no one cares.

00:56:59.000 As they should.

00:57:00.000 No one should care. 1.00

00:57:01.000 You're a fucking grown adult. 1.00

00:57:03.000 There's Grindr. 1.00

00:57:04.000 Those are dudes banging each other all day.

00:57:07.000 Do you think that anyone's gonna stop that?

00:57:09.000 Oh, oh, I shouldn't connect these people?

00:57:11.000 You shouldn't make money connecting them.

00:57:13.000 You shouldn't give them the opportunity to do exactly what they want as grown adults with a limited amount of time on Earth.

00:57:19.000 You got 90 years if you're lucky.

00:57:22.000 If you want to spend 45 of them raw-dogging dudes, you go.

00:57:28.000 You go, boy. 1.00

00:57:29.000 Who gives a shit? 1.00

00:57:32.000 They don't want to talk about their responsibilities. 1.00

00:57:35.000 Shut the fuck up! 1.00

00:57:37.000 Babies. 1.00

00:57:39.000 I got very upset about something that doesn't even have anything to do with me.

00:57:44.000 Especially Grindr.

00:57:45.000 Now that Backpage is closed, like all these websites are closing, it's very interesting to see what happens next, where people are going to find their hookups and stuff.

00:57:53.000 I was reading this thing where sex workers are in danger because of this.

00:57:59.000 Because before they used to be able to vet Customers and then customers would have like a record of using other sex workers and they could know who the psychos were and who to avoid.

00:58:10.000 You know what I mean?

00:58:12.000 And they could also screen people, like actively screen.

00:58:17.000 They could do all this, they were saying.

00:58:19.000 I was reading an article about it where this girl who, I don't remember if they gave her name out or not, but she worked in a brothel and she was talking about it. 0.98

00:58:28.000 And it's like, why are they doing this?

00:58:31.000 Is it because of a crime?

00:58:34.000 Like, what's the crime?

00:58:35.000 So if they get together through Tinder or Grindr, that's fine.

00:58:39.000 Because that's two people that decide to have sex.

00:58:42.000 But as long as they're grown adults and one person just wants to get paid...

00:58:46.000 And the other person's like, well, I'll pay you.

00:58:47.000 And they go, okay, okay, fine.

00:58:49.000 Why is that illegal?

00:58:51.000 We're not talking about sex trafficking for children.

00:58:54.000 We're not talking about slavery.

00:58:56.000 We're just talking about, let's just look at it from the cleanest perspective possible. 0.97

00:59:01.000 Grown adult who likes sex decides she wants to work in a brothel. 1.00

00:59:06.000 Is that possible? 0.99

00:59:06.000 Is it possible for you to do that? 0.99

00:59:09.000 For it to be a grown adult who actually enjoys it, doesn't have any problem with it, decides that it's better than working at Wendy's.

00:59:16.000 Isn't that possible?

00:59:17.000 I mean, people don't want to say it.

00:59:19.000 Nobody wants to say that it's possible.

00:59:21.000 Nobody wants to ever look at it that way.

00:59:23.000 The war on sex workers needs to stop now, Rolling Stone.

00:59:26.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:59:29.000 You know, it just seems like a dumb thing to chase down. 0.98

00:59:37.000 I mean, I think if people want to have sex with each other... 0.98

00:59:41.000 Nobody has a problem with it.

00:59:42.000 But if people want to pay people to have sex, then it's a problem.

00:59:45.000 That seems so crazy.

00:59:48.000 Again, we're not talking about child slavery. 0.82

00:59:51.000 We're not talking about sex slaves.

00:59:53.000 We're not talking about anything against anybody's will.

00:59:55.000 We're just talking about people who would choose to do that.

00:59:58.000 Like, why not?

01:00:00.000 And I've always used this example, but it's a good example.

01:00:02.000 Why is it okay for me to get a massage? 0.96

01:00:05.000 It's okay for me to pay someone to give me pleasure all over my body except my genitals. 0.98

01:00:10.000 Like they could rub my neck and my feet. 0.99

01:00:13.000 They can get you all up in my feet, man.

01:00:15.000 They get those thumbs and start working your feet and you're like, uh, they crack your toes, pop, pop.

01:00:20.000 It feels great.

01:00:21.000 That's fine, but they can't jerk you off. 0.98

01:00:23.000 If they jerked you off, that would be a terrible sin against God and man. 1.00

01:00:26.000 If they touched your penis, which feels really good when you touch it, can't do that. 1.00

01:00:30.000 I know a dude who said he gets asshole massages. 1.00

01:00:35.000 Yeah, that actually happens all the time to me. 1.00

01:00:38.000 The interior of your asshole. 1.00

01:00:40.000 They massage the interior of your asshole. 1.00

01:00:42.000 That's okay, because it's just a massage. 1.00

01:00:45.000 Prostate massage.

01:00:46.000 What's weird is when they do it and they don't ask you.

01:00:48.000 Because a lot of massage people just do it. 0.96

01:00:50.000 That's a part of the massage and they just start...

01:00:53.000 No, no.

01:00:53.000 I don't want that.

01:00:55.000 Apparently some people get it where they use a tool and they actually go inside your asshole and rub down. 1.00

01:01:04.000 No, no, no. 1.00

01:01:04.000 That's a tool. 1.00

01:01:05.000 The other one.

01:01:08.000 Fist.

01:01:09.000 They use some sort of a thing to fucking check your butt. 1.00

01:01:15.000 That's okay. 1.00

01:01:16.000 That's fine.

01:01:17.000 That's fine. 1.00

01:01:17.000 Just don't touch the dick. 1.00

01:01:18.000 If you touch the dick, it's goddamn crime. 1.00

01:01:21.000 They're waiting outside the door with a pistol. 1.00

01:01:22.000 You just let me know when he touches the dick. 1.00

01:01:24.000 He's just rubbing his asshole. 1.00

01:01:26.000 Check the books. 1.00

01:01:27.000 Is that alright? 1.00

01:01:28.000 Ah, his dick's not even hard. 1.00

01:01:30.000 Okay. 1.00

01:01:31.000 Okay.

01:01:32.000 We're ready.

01:01:32.000 We're ready!

01:01:33.000 We're gonna break into this fucking shitty place as soon as we find out that he's getting his dick touched. 1.00

01:01:38.000 Like, you could get someone to just massage your asshole. 1.00

01:01:41.000 Just get in there with- squeeze your butt cheeks and get two thumbs in your asshole. 1.00

01:01:45.000 What am I doing? 1.00

01:01:46.000 I'm doing a sphincter massage.

01:01:48.000 It's very important to release some of the chakras and negative energy and some of the toxins that are stored in your body from processed foods and modern lifestyle. 1.00

01:01:56.000 So we're just going in your asshole with some guru. 0.99

01:01:59.000 Let's talk people into... 1.00

01:02:01.000 Thumbing him in the ass. 1.00

01:02:03.000 It's so weird that I've never, like, I just recently found out all that shit that's happening in massage parlors, but, like, you know, ten years ago, I had no clue. 1.00

01:02:10.000 I would go buy a massage parlor and go, oh, that's where massage is. 1.00

01:02:13.000 There's nothing bad going on here.

01:02:15.000 I wonder how many places like that are, like, psychics.

01:02:18.000 What happens at psychics at four in the morning?

01:02:20.000 Why are they open at four in the morning? 1.00

01:02:21.000 Is that where you get your ass eaten out? 0.99

01:02:23.000 And you don't learn about that until you're 70 or something? 1.00

01:02:26.000 I don't think so.

01:02:28.000 I think psychics are open late at night because, A, it's a scam, and B, when it's late at night, they're drunk.

01:02:36.000 And maybe it's a girl who's driving home, and the guy texted her, and she doesn't know.

01:02:40.000 Should I text him back?

01:02:41.000 Why is he texting me so late?

01:02:42.000 That's kind of disrespectful.

01:02:44.000 I don't know if he's the one.

01:02:46.000 And she pulls into that psychic's office. 0.70

01:02:49.000 And she's like...

01:02:51.000 I just need you to tell me about my future.

01:02:53.000 And the psychic is like, I sense there's a problem.

01:02:57.000 A romantic interest.

01:02:58.000 Ugh, my boyfriend.

01:03:00.000 Yes, yes, you're stressed.

01:03:02.000 There's something deeply troubling you.

01:03:05.000 You're confused.

01:03:07.000 I am confused.

01:03:08.000 Yes, you're confused.

01:03:10.000 You're trying to...

01:03:12.000 The decision's hard to...

01:03:13.000 There's something coming up.

01:03:15.000 Something's happening. 1.00

01:03:15.000 Yeah, you want to see me come over to the house and fuck it? 1.00

01:03:17.000 I don't want to do it. 1.00

01:03:19.000 Yes, that's it.

01:03:20.000 There's a thing that he's wanting you to do that you're not so sure if he's the one.

01:03:24.000 Is that it?

01:03:24.000 Yes!

01:03:25.000 Oh my God!

01:03:26.000 That's what I said when I was on the way over here. 0.99

01:03:29.000 And then when he said, you're not sure if he's the one, I'm like, oh my fucking God! 0.98

01:03:33.000 Is it like written on my forehead? 0.99

01:03:36.000 How's it possible he knows? 0.96

01:03:37.000 He fucking knew about Mark, he knew about our relationship problems, and he knew that I was on my way over there wondering whether or not he's the one. 0.98

01:03:49.000 I don't think he's the one. 0.99

01:03:50.000 I don't think he's the one.

01:03:53.000 I think you're my favorite girl voice guy. 0.96

01:03:56.000 I'm fucking serious. 1.00

01:03:59.000 You want to be a fucking asshole and hang out with your friends and all this bullshit when I'm trying to figure out how this fucking psychic knows you're not the one for me. 1.00

01:04:12.000 How does this psychic know? 1.00

01:04:15.000 How does she know?

01:04:18.000 Friend of mine went to one, he's like, he knew my grandmother's, everything about my relationship with my grandmother.

01:04:23.000 I go, don't you know?

01:04:25.000 Don't you know everything about your relationship with your grandmother? 1.00

01:04:27.000 What the fuck? 1.00

01:04:28.000 You want to pay people to tell you shit you already knew? 1.00

01:04:30.000 It's four o'clock. 0.99

01:04:31.000 It is four o'clock! 1.00

01:04:33.000 You're fucking nuts! 1.00

01:04:33.000 I'm wearing a watch! 1.00

01:04:36.000 When it rains out, you get wet. 0.99

01:04:38.000 Whoa, this guy's crazy. 1.00

01:04:40.000 Tell me all the shit I already knew. 1.00

01:04:42.000 It's crazy. 1.00

01:04:43.000 I bet psychics are way better nowadays because of technology.

01:04:47.000 They probably have a little earpiece and some guy in the back is looking at their license plate number online and finding out where they live and just feeding the person information.

01:04:56.000 I bet psychics are killer now. 0.64

01:04:58.000 I bet there's some, probably. 0.99

01:05:00.000 They're super high scam-y level.

01:05:04.000 Because you want to repeat customers, so if you're that accurate, I bet there's a huge scam in that.

01:05:08.000 That is a crazy thing.

01:05:09.000 If you're driving, like you're driving through Burbank or some shit, every couple miles, you see one of those psychic reader places. 0.97

01:05:17.000 Five in the morning, open, big hand on the front, like a handjob place, but it's a psychic? 1.00

01:05:22.000 I went to one once when I was in New York, and I was going to these fucking stupid auditions. 0.99

01:05:30.000 I did not want to act, and I was just... 0.99

01:05:34.000 It wasn't what I was interested in doing, but your agency would tell you, well, you really should look into this, and you'd see what it was.

01:05:40.000 It was like some role that you...

01:05:41.000 Not only was I not going to get it, but I didn't want it.

01:05:46.000 This is not even funny.

01:05:47.000 It's super serious.

01:05:49.000 Yeah, but you should do it so they know what you could do.

01:05:52.000 Commercials. 0.98

01:05:52.000 I'd go in and read for commercials, and I'd be like, what the fuck am I doing? 0.98

01:05:56.000 So I left one of them, and I was terrible at it, too. 0.97

01:05:59.000 It was terrible auditioning.

01:06:00.000 And then I went to this... 1.00

01:06:03.000 I went to this psychic, and I'm like, well, fuck it, let's see. 0.99

01:06:07.000 It's only like, I don't remember how much it was, like five bucks, ten bucks. 0.99

01:06:10.000 She's like, you don't get along with your brothers.

01:06:12.000 I go, I don't have any brothers. 1.00

01:06:14.000 Shit. 1.00

01:06:15.000 I looked at her. 1.00

01:06:18.000 She don't know anything! 1.00

01:06:20.000 I looked in her eyes, and she looked at me, and I knew that she knew that I knew she was full of shit. 1.00

01:06:28.000 I knew she was full of shit. 1.00

01:06:29.000 I looked at her, I don't have any brothers. 1.00

01:06:30.000 She was like, shit, I got crazy. 1.00

01:06:33.000 She got gangster. 1.00

01:06:34.000 She took a swing. 1.00

01:06:35.000 She's like, I'm sensing brothers from this asshole. 1.00

01:06:37.000 Got a chip in his shoulder. 1.00

01:06:39.000 Brothers probably beat him up.

01:06:41.000 No.

01:06:42.000 It came from a bad audition.

01:06:43.000 You missed it, lady. 1.00

01:06:45.000 It's weird how we all know it's bullshit, for the most part. 1.00

01:06:48.000 Maybe there's some weirdo that actually can do some shit. 1.00

01:06:51.000 But we still accept it. 1.00

01:06:54.000 People still go to it, even though they know deep down, like, hey, we have a gun to your head right now.

01:06:58.000 Is this real? 1.00

01:06:59.000 If you do the wrong answer, then we're going to blow your head off.

01:07:02.000 Everyone's going to be like, no, it's not real.

01:07:04.000 Even the people that believe psychics the most are going to say, no, it's not real.

01:07:08.000 What do you say?

01:07:08.000 Yeah, most likely.

01:07:09.000 If it comes to a bullet in the head. 0.99

01:07:11.000 Right. 0.92

01:07:11.000 But we still do it. 0.92

01:07:14.000 Or crystals.

01:07:15.000 Oh, no, these crystals are healing me. 1.00

01:07:16.000 Oh, yeah, gun to the head.

01:07:17.000 Do you think they're really healing you?

01:07:19.000 Do you think this rock is healing you?

01:07:20.000 No, no!

01:07:21.000 No one's going to say yes.

01:07:24.000 Well... 0.99

01:07:24.000 Here's the thing about those crystals and those magnet things and all that shit. 0.99

01:07:28.000 The one weird thing is the placebo effect. 0.97

01:07:31.000 Placebo effect is real.

01:07:33.000 It's very real.

01:07:35.000 Do you remember those holograms that people were wearing for a while on those rubber bracelets?

01:07:40.000 Yeah, Brody has like four of them. 1.00

01:07:42.000 Dude, there was world-class UFC fighters that were wearing those stupid fucking things. 1.00

01:07:48.000 Like top-of-the-food-chain assassins. 1.00

01:07:51.000 And they were like, dude, I'm telling you, it's been helping my elbow.

01:07:53.000 I'm like, what? 0.99

01:07:54.000 The fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:07:56.000 And I talked to one of the guys. 1.00

01:07:58.000 Goldberg was wearing one for a while.

01:08:00.000 My buddy, Mike Goldberg, was wearing one.

01:08:02.000 I was like, dude, I don't think that's real.

01:08:04.000 He's like, you don't think?

01:08:04.000 I go, I don't think so.

01:08:06.000 He's like, you want to meet with the guys who make it?

01:08:07.000 I go, okay.

01:08:08.000 I met with the guys who make it.

01:08:10.000 And they try to do one of those strength test things on you.

01:08:13.000 Like, here's what I want you to do.

01:08:14.000 I'm going to put this rubber band on you.

01:08:16.000 I want you to put your arm straight out, and I'm going to push down on it.

01:08:20.000 And they're like, halfway pushed down.

01:08:23.000 It's one of those things.

01:08:24.000 It's like, okay, try to lift your arm up.

01:08:26.000 And they're like, push down on your hand.

01:08:28.000 And then you go, okay.

01:08:29.000 And I'll put this rubber bracelet on you.

01:08:30.000 Now try to lift your arm up.

01:08:31.000 You're like, wow!

01:08:32.000 This is crazy.

01:08:33.000 I can lift my arm up because you weren't holding it back.

01:08:36.000 You're not a machine.

01:08:38.000 Like you could regulate how much force you're putting.

01:08:40.000 I know what you're doing. 1.00

01:08:41.000 I go, this is a goddamn carnival trick. 1.00

01:08:43.000 So I said to the guy, I go, this is a goddamn carnival trick. 1.00

01:08:45.000 And Goldberg was like, is this fake? 0.99

01:08:47.000 I go, it's fake.

01:08:48.000 Oh my God, is this fake?

01:08:49.000 I go, what is this?

01:08:50.000 I go, you tell me how this works.

01:08:51.000 You have a piece of plastic that you're telling me I'm going to put on a rubber band.

01:08:55.000 It's going to make me stronger.

01:08:56.000 Dude, okay, I didn't spend a lot of time in school, but I spent enough. 1.00

01:09:01.000 Fuck you! 1.00

01:09:02.000 You can't do a hologram inside a hologram anyway. 1.00

01:09:05.000 Life is a hologram.

01:09:06.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:09:07.000 It's all a hologram.

01:09:09.000 That's true.

01:09:09.000 They don't even exist.

01:09:10.000 That's true.

01:09:12.000 There's certain things that make you think it might be a hologram.

01:09:15.000 Right.

01:09:15.000 Power scam.

01:09:16.000 That's it.

01:09:16.000 Power Bounce admits the wristbands are a scam.

01:09:20.000 Of course.

01:09:20.000 Wait a minute.

01:09:21.000 No way, bro.

01:09:23.000 We admit that there's no credible scientific evidence that supports our claims and therefore we engage in misleading conduct. 0.99

01:09:31.000 Yeah, I called that shit out in like 2001. I was like, what are you guys doing? 0.92

01:09:36.000 Like, what is this?

01:09:37.000 Who's wearing that?

01:09:38.000 Why would you think that would work?

01:09:40.000 They had to publish that in Australian media. 1.00

01:09:44.000 Yeah, because Australia is fucking smarter than us. 0.99

01:09:48.000 Because of their bogus claims and pseudoscientific mumbo-jumbo. 0.98

01:09:53.000 But this seems to be the first time in which a regulatory authority has made them admit their claims are simply a fraud.

01:09:58.000 Hmm.

01:09:59.000 Derp. 0.99

01:10:00.000 Look, there's some shit that makes you strong, but it's not a rubber band with a piece of plastic attached to it. 0.99

01:10:07.000 It's CBD oil. 0.99

01:10:08.000 You know what I mean?

01:10:09.000 You want something that makes you feel better.

01:10:10.000 CBD oil is real.

01:10:12.000 They're trying to make that illegal.

01:10:13.000 There is some people that say that there's no...

01:10:18.000 Scientific proof that CBD even works.

01:10:21.000 It's always the other ingredients that are mixed with the CBD. They'll take the same ingredients that's in Bengay and then put CBD in it also and they say, doesn't this feel numb now?

01:10:34.000 I heard that there's no real concrete evidence that CBD, because there's no tests.

01:10:39.000 I thought there was evidence that it decreased inflammation.

01:10:42.000 Isn't there evidence that it decreased inflammation?

01:10:45.000 The problem is scientific studies.

01:10:47.000 All these things...

01:10:48.000 Right, it might be... 0.98

01:10:48.000 I might be mind-fucking myself when I put that stuff on. 0.98

01:10:51.000 You might. 0.98

01:10:52.000 It seems to work, though.

01:10:53.000 Especially for my elbow.

01:10:54.000 My tendinitis.

01:10:56.000 I feel it like it works.

01:10:57.000 Finally getting over.

01:10:59.000 Dude, I finally could do chin-ups.

01:11:00.000 I couldn't do chin-ups for months.

01:11:02.000 Months.

01:11:02.000 Try years, Joe.

01:11:06.000 Want some of this?

01:11:07.000 It'll help.

01:11:07.000 It's got CBD in it.

01:11:09.000 I was not doing any chin-ups or anything heavy. 0.99

01:11:15.000 I was doing mostly running and yoga for months because of this fucking elbow. 0.98

01:11:19.000 I've never had tendonitis before. 0.98

01:11:21.000 I've had muscle pulls and stuff and injuries.

01:11:24.000 I never had tendonitis. 0.93

01:11:26.000 And this was a dumb one because I meatheaded my way through it. 0.96

01:11:30.000 I meatheaded it into a bad place. 1.00

01:11:32.000 I was like, don't be a pussy. 1.00

01:11:34.000 Just keep working out. 1.00

01:11:35.000 And then it got real bad.

01:11:37.000 And then it, until I did a bunch of different stuff to it.

01:11:40.000 I did stem cells and Regenikine.

01:11:44.000 But the thing that helped the most is this rubber thing.

01:11:47.000 Oh, is that a roller?

01:11:48.000 No, it's not.

01:11:49.000 It's called a Thermaband.

01:11:51.000 I've talked about this so many times that I can't...

01:11:53.000 TheraBand, rather.

01:11:54.000 I can't buy them on Amazon anymore.

01:11:55.000 People have bought them out.

01:11:56.000 But I'm glad because they work.

01:11:58.000 If you have a...

01:11:58.000 It's cheap, too.

01:11:59.000 It's just a piece of rubber.

01:12:01.000 And if you don't have this and you have something that can do a similar exercise, it'll probably help, too.

01:12:05.000 But what you do is you twist it and then in the release...

01:12:08.000 Twist it.

01:12:10.000 Yeah.

01:12:11.000 You twist this thing.

01:12:13.000 And in the release, you twist it with your hand like this, and then the release with the right hand, my right elbow was the one that was injured, and just slowly letting it down, it works this part of your arm.

01:12:23.000 Oh, that's cool.

01:12:23.000 In a weird way.

01:12:24.000 So even though it's injured, it doesn't hurt it, but it strengthens it.

01:12:27.000 That's great.

01:12:27.000 It works a lot.

01:12:28.000 So I'll just pick this fucker up and do it 10 times, 12 times, 15 times, and do it several times a day. 0.99

01:12:34.000 It made a big difference, man. 1.00

01:12:35.000 Like, right away, I could feel it.

01:12:37.000 It feels like everything around it is strengthened and stabilized, and it just started feeling better.

01:12:43.000 Because you're putting a load on it, and then you're making it release the load.

01:12:46.000 Instead of, like, pulling it in the direction that you injured it, you're strengthening it in the, I guess it would be the eccentric way.

01:12:53.000 Eccentric?

01:12:54.000 Eccentric way?

01:12:55.000 Hmm.

01:12:56.000 So there you go.

01:12:57.000 Don't get tendonitis, kids.

01:12:58.000 I had recently from, I think, using cell phones too much and computers too much.

01:13:03.000 Carpal tunnel?

01:13:03.000 Like carpal tunnel, to the point where my hand hurt.

01:13:05.000 I think it's the same shit. 0.99

01:13:06.000 It's repetitive stress. 1.00

01:13:08.000 Yeah.

01:13:08.000 Right?

01:13:08.000 Yeah.

01:13:10.000 Secretaries get that, right?

01:13:11.000 From a lot of typing and stuff?

01:13:12.000 Hairstylists also get it a lot.

01:13:14.000 Yeah.

01:13:15.000 I know a tattoo artist that has it.

01:13:18.000 Yeah, and right now, just me even saying it, I'm like, it's still actually really sore.

01:13:22.000 My hand's still good.

01:13:23.000 Tattoo guys will get it in their wrist, too. 0.86

01:13:25.000 And, you know, for a lot of those guys, they start getting addicted to anti-inflammatories and, you know, different things.

01:13:31.000 Because you have to use your fingers for work.

01:13:34.000 Can you imagine if you had to do something with your hands like that for work and you started feeling that pain?

01:13:38.000 Like, this is just my elbow, you know?

01:13:41.000 I mean, I can do pretty much everything. 1.00

01:13:43.000 But your hands, like if it's in your hands, fuck, that's a bitch. 1.00

01:13:49.000 I was reading this article about replacing body parts. 1.00

01:13:52.000 They were talking about all the different body parts they're on the verge of being able to replace.

01:13:56.000 They just did a face transplant, didn't they?

01:13:58.000 They've done a few of those now.

01:14:00.000 Oh, yeah.

01:14:00.000 Yeah.

01:14:00.000 They did a few dick transplants.

01:14:02.000 Cock and balls. 1.00

01:14:03.000 Oh, that's right. 0.99

01:14:03.000 But here's the thing. 0.99

01:14:05.000 They can't do the balls. 0.99

01:14:07.000 Who wants the balls? 1.00

01:14:08.000 You don't need them. 1.00

01:14:08.000 Duncan only has one. 1.00

01:14:11.000 No, but here's the thing. 1.00

01:14:11.000 For ethical reasons, because the dead person's sperm will always be in those balls. 1.00

01:14:17.000 So here's the thing. 1.00

01:14:18.000 Say, if you took my balls, if I died, and you took my balls and put them in your body and then started having kids, those would be my kids. 1.00

01:14:25.000 They would have my genes, not yours. 1.00

01:14:27.000 You're going to have my cum inside your body growing. 1.00

01:14:30.000 You're going to make my own cum. 1.00

01:14:33.000 But that's the crazy thing. 1.00

01:14:34.000 You could make Jamie's cum. 1.00

01:14:35.000 If Jamie died and he donated his cock and balls and you took his balls and put it in your body, he would grow your cum. 1.00

01:14:42.000 Is it my cum with his sperm? 1.00

01:14:43.000 Don't do that, Jamie. 1.00

01:14:43.000 It's his sperm, my cum. 1.00

01:14:45.000 It's your balls. 1.00

01:14:46.000 So it's your sperm and your cum. 1.00

01:14:48.000 You. 1.00

01:14:49.000 It's your jizz. 0.98

01:14:50.000 Let's just call it jizz, for scientific purposes. 1.00

01:14:53.000 What happens if I have one of your balls and one of Jamie's balls, though? 1.00

01:14:56.000 What happens if I have... 1.00

01:14:57.000 Oh, we have a fucking crapshoot. 0.99

01:14:59.000 You don't know who the hell that kid's gonna... 1.00

01:15:01.000 I have gay friends that took... 1.00

01:15:03.000 They had a kid through a surrogate, and they took their cum and just mixed it up like a swirly. 0.99

01:15:07.000 I'm like, let's see. 0.97

01:15:08.000 Let's see who wins the race.

01:15:11.000 You know, they don't really know who won the race.

01:15:14.000 That's how they mixed it up.

01:15:15.000 They have a cute kid.

01:15:16.000 He's a great kid.

01:15:17.000 But they don't know who won that race.

01:15:19.000 They gargled it.

01:15:20.000 They have their guesses.

01:15:21.000 I read there's a Jenner baby situation going on potentially with one of their bodyguards or something.

01:15:28.000 Sexy.

01:15:29.000 The mom of the most recent kid is...

01:15:31.000 The mom of the baby daddy is saying you need to get it checked because he's a famous rapper.

01:15:35.000 Ooh.

01:15:36.000 Looks like his...

01:15:37.000 Ooh.

01:15:38.000 Looks like the bodyguard? 1.00

01:15:39.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:15:41.000 I bet those bodyguards get in there. 1.00

01:15:43.000 Of course they do.

01:15:43.000 They're probably ripped.

01:15:44.000 Yeah.

01:15:45.000 Wasn't there a big thing about Kylie?

01:15:47.000 She has a sexy bodyguard. 0.89

01:15:48.000 I think that's the one. 1.00

01:15:49.000 This dude looks like he's in a goddamn Bruce Lee movie. 0.99

01:15:52.000 Right? 0.99

01:15:53.000 They all have to sleep with the bodyguards. 0.87

01:15:55.000 What are you talking about?

01:15:56.000 You have this guy that just works out all the time.

01:16:00.000 Kylie Jennings bodyguard cryptically responds to baby daddy rumors. 1.00

01:16:04.000 Okay, I'm out.

01:16:04.000 Can't do this anymore.

01:16:06.000 Can't do it anymore.

01:16:08.000 Can't do it anymore.

01:16:09.000 He's a handsome fellow, that bodyguard.

01:16:11.000 I wouldn't blame the gal.

01:16:12.000 It's happened before, though, currently.

01:16:14.000 Hey! 0.99

01:16:15.000 What are you gonna do?

01:16:16.000 Not them, I don't know.

01:16:16.000 What are you gonna do?

01:16:18.000 I would just like to remind everybody we're in space, and Hawaii is exploding.

01:16:22.000 Okay? 1.00

01:16:22.000 If you really give a fuck... 1.00

01:16:23.000 If you really give a fuck which bodyguard is getting their dick into which poor, confused young lady... 1.00

01:16:30.000 Things are going to happen that way, man. 1.00

01:16:31.000 Things are going to happen.

01:16:32.000 As you were talking about those body parts, I was going to ask if you heard about what happened to Huey Lewis recently.

01:16:37.000 I've been hearing he's got some sort of inner ear infection.

01:16:39.000 I guess he's got Meniere's.

01:16:41.000 Very recently, he was on tour.

01:16:43.000 I saw people that have been to his concerts, but he said he can hear people talking.

01:16:47.000 He was doing an interview with a woman.

01:16:49.000 He's like, I can hear your voice, but I can't hear music.

01:16:52.000 That's what he does. 1.00

01:16:54.000 It's pretty fucked up, man. 1.00

01:16:55.000 Like, ear shit is really scary. 1.00

01:16:57.000 My friend, he's an editor, and one day he just woke up and he can't hear out of his left ear. 0.99

01:17:02.000 And he still, to this day, ten years later, still can't hear out of his left ear.

01:17:07.000 It's gonna happen to me.

01:17:07.000 Pretty sure.

01:17:08.000 I have tinnitus pretty bad, yeah.

01:17:10.000 Whoa.

01:17:10.000 What's tinnitus?

01:17:11.000 It's a ringing that happens.

01:17:12.000 I mean, it's been a heavy metal band, so, like, I never wore earplugs and gone to tons of concerts for, like, five-plus years.

01:17:19.000 Dude.

01:17:19.000 Every other night.

01:17:20.000 Like, the camera sound that's like...

01:17:22.000 Yeah, yeah, just occasionally just go real high, and I, like, I can't hear anything out of that ear, and I sort of, like, plug it up or do something, and it'll go away eventually, but more recently, it's taken a little longer to go away.

01:17:32.000 I have that sometimes.

01:17:33.000 It's usually when it's really quiet and it'll just come out of nowhere.

01:17:36.000 I'll hear this like ringing, but it's not like every day.

01:17:39.000 Yeah, that's what it is though.

01:17:40.000 It's called tinnitus.

01:17:42.000 How do you get it?

01:17:43.000 Just from working around?

01:17:44.000 It's just hearing loss.

01:17:47.000 It could be you've heard loud things.

01:17:49.000 You've been to concerts over the years, the damage.

01:17:52.000 But the real thing, I think, is people who were around guns a lot.

01:17:55.000 I know a lot of people who were around guns a lot as a kid.

01:17:58.000 Like, they shot those clays, you know, with shotguns. 0.95

01:18:01.000 You shoot those...

01:18:03.000 John Dudley has a real bad hearing loss from that.

01:18:05.000 Nobody ever told kids back then that they need to wear earmuffs.

01:18:09.000 Like, nobody wore ear protection.

01:18:11.000 They would go to the range with just no earmuffs on.

01:18:14.000 Just bang, bang, bang!

01:18:15.000 Dude, concerts!

01:18:17.000 I don't think I, growing up, I ever even thought of that.

01:18:20.000 Like, I would sit right next to the speaker on purpose, like I had a Nine Inch Nail concert, just because like, oh man, you know, you're, no one talked about that back then. 0.86

01:18:28.000 That's ridiculous. 0.96

01:18:30.000 Wow. 1.00

01:18:32.000 That's crazy.

01:18:33.000 See if you can find video of them in a gun range with no ear protection.

01:18:40.000 Because I don't think I'm making that up.

01:18:42.000 I think I remember watching people on a range just shooting guns with no earplugs.

01:18:47.000 Nowadays, it doesn't matter, though, because they're hearing aids nowadays.

01:18:50.000 It's like you have earbuds in now, and you get Bluetooth to your phone and everything.

01:18:55.000 Yeah.

01:18:55.000 It's cool.

01:18:56.000 I want hearing aids.

01:18:58.000 Well, they have those things called game ears. 0.87

01:19:01.000 You can put them in your hearing, in your ear canal, rather, like a hearing aid, and they amplify sounds extraordinarily.

01:19:10.000 And hunters use them in the woods.

01:19:12.000 They put them in, and they call them game ears.

01:19:16.000 I think it's called a walker's game ear.

01:19:17.000 I put it on before it freaked me out.

01:19:18.000 I took it right off.

01:19:19.000 That's crazy.

01:19:20.000 I don't even want to hear this.

01:19:21.000 I don't think that's what you're looking for exactly, but this guy's trying to tell people how to do it, and he's just plugging up his ear.

01:19:25.000 Oh, yeah.

01:19:26.000 Shorter.

01:19:26.000 That's not what I'm looking for.

01:19:27.000 I'm looking for, like, old school.

01:19:29.000 So he's saying, this is how I shoot guns if I don't have hearing protection.

01:19:33.000 I just put...

01:19:34.000 Yeah.

01:19:35.000 There's some articles of people discussing it, but nothing's really...

01:19:38.000 Okay.

01:19:39.000 Maybe I imagined it.

01:19:41.000 But I remember seeing, like, an old school range, some dude with a pistol with, like, a thick belt, like those hippies used to wear, and a belt buckle. 0.52

01:19:49.000 And he's firing off that gun.

01:19:51.000 Boom! 0.99

01:19:52.000 Boom! 0.99

01:19:53.000 Boom! 0.99

01:19:54.000 Boom! 0.99

01:19:55.000 I think the first time I shot a gun I didn't have headphones or ear protection at all.

01:19:59.000 A lot of people.

01:20:01.000 It's a bad idea.

01:20:02.000 This guy has no ear protection?

01:20:04.000 He gets up and he has a concussion almost.

01:20:07.000 He has to catch his breath. 1.00

01:20:09.000 That's so dumb. 1.00

01:20:11.000 Do you know how powerful these things are? 1.00

01:20:12.000 This is how powerful a.50 caliber is.

01:20:15.000 Somebody decided, that's a.30 caliber?

01:20:17.000 Somebody decided to try to hunt deer with this.

01:20:21.000 So there's a video, you can find it online.

01:20:23.000 Guy misses deer and the deer's head exploded as it missed.

01:20:29.000 The eyes popped out of its head.

01:20:31.000 He thought it was a perfect headshot because the deer just went down.

01:20:36.000 But what it actually was, was that the bullet passing by had so much force it instantaneously killed the deer.

01:20:44.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:20:45.000 Dude, it's insane.

01:20:46.000 It's insane.

01:20:51.000 Here it goes.

01:20:52.000 So he does this, and he's got... 1.00

01:20:54.000 This is a big-ass fucking gun. 1.00

01:20:57.000 It says 50 BMG. I don't know what that means. 1.00

01:21:00.000 Is that 50 caliber? 0.67

01:21:01.000 Is that what that means?

01:21:02.000 So look at this.

01:21:02.000 He goes over to the deer, and there's no bullet hole.

01:21:06.000 It's just eyes had blown out of its fucking head. 0.99

01:21:10.000 Just from the sheer force of that thing passing by it. 1.00

01:21:13.000 It's crazy.

01:21:16.000 Yeah, look, you can see it.

01:21:17.000 Like, there's a slow motion of it.

01:21:22.000 See, it passes by, doesn't even hit it, and the deer just disappears into the night.

01:21:29.000 That's nuts.

01:21:31.000 Like, imagine it has so much force, it can miss a deer and kill it.

01:21:36.000 Whoa.

01:21:37.000 That is so unnecessary.

01:21:39.000 Come on.

01:21:41.000 I mean, that is such a war weapon. 0.99

01:21:45.000 Fucking A, man. 0.99

01:21:48.000 That's a crazy thing to go hunting with. 1.00

01:21:51.000 Whoo! 0.78

01:21:54.000 Do you use Uber a lot?

01:21:56.000 No.

01:21:57.000 You never do, do you?

01:21:58.000 No, I don't.

01:21:59.000 It's too risky.

01:22:01.000 I'm starting to not trust.

01:22:02.000 It's so weird.

01:22:04.000 I use it all the time.

01:22:05.000 I use food delivery services all the time, and I'm having second thoughts on the whole thing.

01:22:13.000 I think it's great.

01:22:14.000 I think Uber's great. 0.98

01:22:15.000 I'm just fucking around by saying it's risky. 0.94

01:22:16.000 I mean, the idea that you could just call a cab, like, okay, how come I can't just call an Uber? 0.97

01:22:22.000 The only argument would be that they don't screen the people as well as the cab companies do.

01:22:27.000 Exactly.

01:22:28.000 That's regulated.

01:22:29.000 Right.

01:22:29.000 Which is why people like limos.

01:22:31.000 They prefer limos, you know?

01:22:33.000 I mean, I was in one recently.

01:22:34.000 The kid was probably, he seemed like he was like 17. Like, I was like, no way, this is my dryer.

01:22:39.000 And I felt like he was drunk.

01:22:42.000 Like, I was like, how do I get out of here?

01:22:45.000 You know, like, we're on a highway right now.

01:22:46.000 I can't just, you know, tell him to pull around the side of the highway, but I feel like he's going to kill me.

01:22:51.000 Yeah.

01:22:53.000 Well, there was a lady recently that went on this whole tweet thread.

01:22:58.000 She tweeted a bunch of different things to Uber about a guy.

01:23:03.000 Was it Uber or was it Lyft?

01:23:04.000 One of those.

01:23:05.000 Where a guy had taken her under a bridge and wouldn't give her her stuff back, wouldn't let her out of the car, and some passerby stopped and helped her, and she was screaming at the guy, and the guy took off. 0.87

01:23:22.000 But it was to a point where she was like, is this guy gonna rape me? 0.92

01:23:25.000 Like, is this guy gonna kill me? 0.99

01:23:27.000 Like, is this how I'm gonna end?

01:23:28.000 Like, I just jumped in a car with a stranger, and now he's decided to stop somewhere, and it's not where we're supposed to go?

01:23:34.000 He's not telling me why? 0.99

01:23:36.000 That kind of shit, like, I guess that could theoretically happen. 0.99

01:23:42.000 With any rideshare company, but with Uber, it's so weird. 1.00

01:23:45.000 It's just a person.

01:23:46.000 Just get some person to come get you.

01:23:48.000 You don't have to be hired by a company.

01:23:50.000 You never thought that with taxis, though.

01:23:52.000 You always kind of like, taxis were transportation.

01:23:55.000 You never thought, oh, this taxi driver is going to rape me or something.

01:23:59.000 Right.

01:23:59.000 Well, especially in like, the only time I usually take taxis is in New York.

01:24:03.000 New York is the place to take taxis, right?

01:24:05.000 Because it's...

01:24:06.000 They're everywhere.

01:24:07.000 Yeah, and that's how people get around.

01:24:09.000 It's like, it's an easy way to get around.

01:24:11.000 But you never know.

01:24:12.000 I mean, it's like a ride sometimes with those people. 0.96

01:24:14.000 You'd get in the car and be like, whoa, this guy is just riding people's asses and cutting people off and slamming the brakes and honking the horn. 0.97

01:24:22.000 You're like, whoa! 0.98

01:24:24.000 Like, and this dude is tuned in.

01:24:26.000 He's doing this all day. 0.99

01:24:27.000 He's probably in this fucking car 10-12 hours a day. 0.99

01:24:30.000 And so you don't expect that because you come from Columbus, Ohio. 1.00

01:24:34.000 We're from Columbus.

01:24:36.000 We still have Mormons.

01:24:38.000 Or, no, everybody has Mormons.

01:24:40.000 I went Amish.

01:24:41.000 I went the Amish. 0.51

01:24:42.000 You still have the Amish, right? 0.94

01:24:44.000 They're hip Amish with electricity. 1.00

01:24:46.000 They're really hipsters.

01:24:47.000 Still don't wear deodorant.

01:24:48.000 Every time I go to New York and I get in a car and some of the New Yorkers driving, I'm always like, whoa, you guys are in the Matrix.

01:24:54.000 They just drive so much more aggressively.

01:24:58.000 If you hire a car to drive you around in New York City, they drive so much more aggressively.

01:25:03.000 They're just so used to it.

01:25:05.000 I just remember as a kid going to, like, Wyandotte Lake and, like, amusement parks.

01:25:09.000 They always went as a group to amusement parks.

01:25:12.000 So there's, like, 200 Amish people mixed in with us.

01:25:14.000 And we'd be, like, 14, 13, and, like, look at those guys.

01:25:18.000 And the Amish people always acted, like, so, almost like alien. 1.00

01:25:22.000 Like, they're from the country, and they talk weird, and they don't really talk like us. 1.00

01:25:28.000 Well, they stayed to themselves, right?

01:25:30.000 But I didn't know that they could go to amusement parks.

01:25:32.000 I thought the whole idea was that they can't use electronics.

01:25:35.000 That could have been like a different group.

01:25:37.000 There's different kinds of...

01:25:38.000 There's the Mennonites too, right?

01:25:40.000 Yeah.

01:25:40.000 There's different kinds of...

01:25:41.000 Quakers.

01:25:41.000 I don't know if Quakers are still around.

01:25:42.000 I was with Ari once.

01:25:44.000 We were in Massachusetts, western Massachusetts. 0.99

01:25:46.000 We stopped into this fucking truck stop to get gas and grab something to eat. 0.99

01:25:51.000 And there's a group of Mennonites. 0.99

01:25:54.000 And there's some girl that's wearing this Mennonite outfit.

01:25:57.000 And I forget how Ari asked her.

01:25:59.000 I really wish...

01:25:59.000 But it was hilarious.

01:26:00.000 It was something along the lines of, so what cult are you in?

01:26:03.000 Yeah.

01:26:05.000 Something along those lines.

01:26:07.000 He may have been more tactful than that.

01:26:10.000 Maybe it was something like, what's this all about?

01:26:12.000 Why are you dressed like that?

01:26:14.000 I think I was there.

01:26:16.000 I think you were too.

01:26:18.000 It was something along the lines of, what group are you with?

01:26:21.000 And we were all, of course, baked out of our minds.

01:26:26.000 We're traveling. 0.97

01:26:27.000 We're just trying to be silly. 0.68

01:26:28.000 We're just trying to have a good time.

01:26:30.000 I think Diaz was with us too, wasn't he?

01:26:32.000 Yeah.

01:26:33.000 But, uh, this poor lady was in this weird cult, wearing this weird outfit. 1.00

01:26:40.000 And I think she answered, like, politely, and I was like, uh, I'm in, you know, blah, blah, blah.

01:26:44.000 She was polite?

01:26:44.000 Yeah.

01:26:45.000 Yeah, and he's like, okay.

01:26:49.000 Ari is such a unique guy because he was, as a child, he was raised to be a very, very strict Orthodox Jew.

01:26:59.000 You know, I mean, he spent time, I forget what it's called when you go over to Israel and you just read the Torah like fucking 10, 12 hours a day.

01:27:09.000 He did that, all that stuff. 0.94

01:27:10.000 He grew the curls.

01:27:12.000 He had the little strings that hang from his belt.

01:27:14.000 He did all that.

01:27:15.000 Smitzel something.

01:27:17.000 It's called Orthodox, right?

01:27:20.000 That's Orthodox Judaism. 0.97

01:27:21.000 So when anybody tries to run any bullshit by Ari, he's like, I know this. 0.97

01:27:27.000 He knows all that stuff. 0.96

01:27:29.000 He used to have the weird curls, too, and all that stuff. 1.00

01:27:31.000 He had all that shit. 1.00

01:27:33.000 And then he just realized, as he got older and wiser, he's like, oh my god, this is all bullshit. 1.00

01:27:38.000 Not that it is, folks. 0.99

01:27:39.000 This is just Ari.

01:27:41.000 Don't take your minute's word for it.

01:27:43.000 But he's a funny guy with that stuff.

01:27:46.000 Because, like, I think only someone who's truly seen it from the eyes of an absolute believer.

01:27:51.000 That's probably what he really looked like.

01:27:53.000 Imagine that.

01:27:54.000 He's gone through so many weird looks.

01:27:56.000 Remember when Ari just had, like, he would always wear the small hats?

01:28:00.000 Or something like that.

01:28:01.000 You wore small hats?

01:28:03.000 I remember hats.

01:28:04.000 Remember he always had that hat that would just hang on the side of his head?

01:28:07.000 I think he had his head shaved like a bald...

01:28:10.000 He definitely shaved his head like a bald person for a while.

01:28:13.000 Did he grow a mullet?

01:28:15.000 A mohawk?

01:28:15.000 A mohawk there.

01:28:17.000 He's an animal. 1.00

01:28:18.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:28:18.000 I like that look. 1.00

01:28:19.000 I like the mohawk look.

01:28:20.000 Yeah.

01:28:22.000 The new thing is the no glasses look.

01:28:25.000 He got the LASIKs done.

01:28:26.000 Oh, that's right.

01:28:27.000 Powerful vision now.

01:28:28.000 He can see.

01:28:31.000 He got an infected toe and he had to get it chopped off.

01:28:34.000 What?

01:28:34.000 He trolled me about, like, that he got an infection on his big toe and he had to get it removed.

01:28:41.000 You know what else is really good for that is Kurt Metzger.

01:28:44.000 Because Kurt Metzger was in, was he in the Moonies or the Christian Jehovah's Witness? 0.86

01:28:50.000 Jehovah's Witness.

01:28:51.000 Yeah, I think you're right.

01:28:52.000 Yeah, so he grew up in the Jehovah's Witness.

01:28:54.000 So, like, he's like, I'm not buying any of this.

01:28:58.000 Like, I know where this is.

01:29:00.000 It's the same thing with psychics, right?

01:29:01.000 Why do people have this need to hold on to irrational beliefs?

01:29:05.000 There are some questions you don't have answers to.

01:29:08.000 You know you don't have answers to.

01:29:09.000 So why do you pretend that this answer is going to take its place? 0.99

01:29:13.000 This answer you kind of know is bullshit is going to take its place. 0.98

01:29:16.000 Why do we need to do that? 0.99

01:29:17.000 Because so many of us do.

01:29:19.000 And I'm not immune to it.

01:29:20.000 We all need that feeling.

01:29:22.000 No, it's going to be okay, Brian.

01:29:25.000 Everything's going to be okay.

01:29:26.000 Makes me wonder if you do the whole gun theory, if this is real or not to religion, how many people would say, yes, it's all real! 0.78

01:29:33.000 And who would go, even the most religious person would be like, no, of course not.

01:29:37.000 We all know.

01:29:37.000 I like it.

01:29:38.000 It helps me out. 0.98

01:29:40.000 I think a bunch of people would take a bullet. 0.90

01:29:42.000 Yeah? 0.98

01:29:43.000 Yeah.

01:29:44.000 If you want to punish me for my Lord, you go ahead, Jesus, I await thee in heaven!

01:29:50.000 They'd take it right in the temple.

01:29:51.000 Boom! 0.99

01:29:52.000 Piles of people, piles of bodies at Walmart. 0.62

01:29:55.000 Yeah, man, people would just blow their brains out.

01:29:57.000 For their Heavenly Father does command you to come see Him in Heaven.

01:30:02.000 Boom! 0.99

01:30:04.000 Yeah, a lot of people would do it.

01:30:06.000 Guaranteed.

01:30:07.000 But, you know, man, it's like even what's going on with the Pope just recently said there's no hell, and everybody went crazy.

01:30:14.000 Like, what?

01:30:15.000 What did he just say?

01:30:17.000 The Pope said there's no hell.

01:30:20.000 He's slowly bracing you for the fact that all this is nonsense.

01:30:26.000 But right now, we're going to get rid of hell.

01:30:27.000 This is one of the purest examples of the change in people's attitude towards religion.

01:30:32.000 Is this real?

01:30:33.000 It says the Vatican denies that.

01:30:35.000 But the Vatican did not say there is no hell.

01:30:38.000 We'll find out an article where it says he did say that.

01:30:41.000 50%!

01:30:43.000 He's not going to cut it.

01:30:44.000 Go back in time and find an article where he did say it.

01:30:48.000 I guarantee you he did say it.

01:30:49.000 Let's just assume that one day...

01:30:52.000 See, this is what they do.

01:30:53.000 They say it a little bit and then they take it back.

01:30:55.000 So they get used to the idea that they're saying it.

01:30:58.000 That's what it is.

01:30:59.000 I'm full Eddie Bravo right now.

01:31:01.000 I'm full conspiracy.

01:31:03.000 Dude, this is how they set it up.

01:31:05.000 They start out with, they tell you hell's not real, and then they say, we never said that, and then a year from now they say, look, we're pretty sure hell's not real. 0.98

01:31:14.000 This Pope probably plays Fortnite and shit, and he's like... 0.99

01:31:17.000 Right, he's the cool Pope. 0.99

01:31:20.000 He doesn't have the Pope-mobile.

01:31:22.000 He's got his Kanye's on.

01:31:23.000 He's the cool Pope.

01:31:25.000 He is the cool Pope.

01:31:26.000 He got rid of the throne.

01:31:28.000 Oh, yeah. 0.95

01:31:29.000 Yeah, he had a big, giant, crazy-ass throne for the last guy, the Creeper. 0.93

01:31:33.000 He's got a gamer chair now.

01:31:35.000 Like one of those racing chairs with the headphones by your ears.

01:31:38.000 Yeah, I just got one of those. 1.00

01:31:39.000 Pope Francis in the fucking house. 1.00

01:31:43.000 Pope Francis has no problem with gay people either. 1.00

01:31:46.000 Pope Francis fighting with your litter kid. 0.99

01:31:49.000 Yeah, see, look how he swat...

01:31:50.000 Look at the old throne versus the new throne.

01:31:54.000 Look at the two side to side.

01:31:55.000 The guy on the left is the guy they just kicked out for Crimes Against Humanity.

01:31:58.000 Wow.

01:31:59.000 And the guy on the right is the new guy who's just got a sensible chair.

01:32:03.000 Much better.

01:32:04.000 From Ikea.

01:32:04.000 Yeah, the throne is creepy, man.

01:32:06.000 That is crazy.

01:32:07.000 And he dresses much more conservatively, too.

01:32:10.000 He's not wearing crazy wizard robes.

01:32:12.000 He's wearing, like, a one-color wizard robe.

01:32:15.000 He dresses like R. Kelly on a Sunday. 0.66

01:32:18.000 He still has to dress crazy.

01:32:19.000 Like, if he came out in, like, a polo shirt and a pair of jeans...

01:32:23.000 No, right?

01:32:25.000 No.

01:32:26.000 Everybody's like, hey, hey, hey! 1.00

01:32:27.000 You can't be the Pope without the fucking magic outfit! 1.00

01:32:30.000 Where's your fish head hat? 1.00

01:32:32.000 Come on, bro!

01:32:33.000 He's got body armor on.

01:32:35.000 He's got a hat on like a golden salmon that's coming out of the top of his head.

01:32:39.000 Like, show me that hat. 1.00

01:32:42.000 Look at this fucking hat. 1.00

01:32:43.000 This hat is preposterous. 1.00

01:32:45.000 That's like a monster. 0.99

01:32:47.000 It's a mouth of a monster. 0.89

01:32:50.000 Like a giant snake.

01:32:52.000 It looks like a napkin at a restaurant when you go there and it's sitting...

01:32:55.000 Oh, and it's nicely done inside one of those little rings?

01:32:58.000 He probably put it on by mistake.

01:33:00.000 He's just like, look at me.

01:33:01.000 I can't believe they're making fun of our holy father. 1.00

01:33:04.000 This fucking show sucks. 1.00

01:33:07.000 You're making fun of our holy father. 1.00

01:33:10.000 He's right there with the smoke.

01:33:14.000 Oh my god.

01:33:14.000 How is this still legal?

01:33:16.000 Look at these kids dressed up like they're in Harry Potter's seminary.

01:33:20.000 Dunderdorf.

01:33:21.000 They do.

01:33:22.000 They look like they go to that, what's that, Hogwarts school?

01:33:24.000 They do. 1.00

01:33:25.000 This is fucking ridiculous. 1.00

01:33:27.000 Universal. 1.00

01:33:27.000 And they're talking to this dude who's holding up a golden version of where the Savior was murdered. 1.00

01:33:34.000 Right?

01:33:34.000 He's got a golden cross.

01:33:35.000 His cross is all over the place.

01:33:37.000 Like, don't forget about the cross.

01:33:40.000 And he's standing there dressed like a wizard.

01:33:41.000 This is craziness.

01:33:43.000 And everybody says, no, no, no, no.

01:33:43.000 This is our religion.

01:33:44.000 This is our culture.

01:33:46.000 This is weird.

01:33:47.000 This is weird.

01:33:48.000 And I'm not saying it's not beautiful.

01:33:50.000 It's absolutely beautiful.

01:33:51.000 I'm not saying it's any weirder than going to the opera, because I think that's weird, too. 0.99

01:33:54.000 But this shit is weird. 0.98

01:33:56.000 This is some really old form of education slash entertainment that people used to do before they had plays. 1.00

01:34:04.000 They'd get together in some room with fucking crazy... 0.98

01:34:09.000 Different colored glass windows in it. 0.99

01:34:12.000 Why doesn't he have a mic on?

01:34:14.000 Why does that kid gotta hold the mic?

01:34:15.000 Well, because Jesus doesn't want him to be unmagnified.

01:34:20.000 That's a thick mic though.

01:34:22.000 Yeah.

01:34:23.000 Imagine if it was pink.

01:34:25.000 He just had a pink mic.

01:34:26.000 Why?

01:34:27.000 Does it have to be silver?

01:34:28.000 I like pink.

01:34:30.000 Big pink mic.

01:34:32.000 It's crazy.

01:34:33.000 And it's a billion of us.

01:34:35.000 And I was raised there.

01:34:37.000 I mean, from when I was a real little kid, I did at least one year in Catholic school.

01:34:42.000 I was around a lot of Catholics.

01:34:45.000 I'm not claiming to be an expert in it, but I don't have to be. 1.00

01:34:47.000 That shit's bananas. 0.99

01:34:49.000 I used to be an altar server. 1.00

01:34:50.000 I used to hold that mic.

01:34:51.000 Woo! 0.99

01:34:51.000 Did you really? 0.99

01:34:52.000 Yeah.

01:34:53.000 Alright, me too. 0.98

01:34:53.000 Were you ever in the middle of doing that going, what in the fuck am I doing? 0.98

01:34:56.000 No, well, most of the times we did it, and me and my friends talk about it, we would get out of class. 0.93

01:35:01.000 So we would, because I went to Catholic school, there'd be services during the day and funerals even.

01:35:05.000 Sometimes we'd get paid to be out of class, and then we would miss two, three hours of school, get paid 20 bucks, get some donuts, miss lunch.

01:35:12.000 That was really all we were doing.

01:35:14.000 I used to just have to light the candles.

01:35:15.000 Me and this other kid would come out and light all these candles.

01:35:18.000 You did all that?

01:35:19.000 I always wanted to be the guy that puts them out with that bell.

01:35:22.000 That little bell on the hook.

01:35:24.000 I did that too.

01:35:27.000 It's so bananas when you're in that room and you see those benches all laid out up to the pulpit.

01:35:34.000 This is so crazy.

01:35:37.000 It's like people figured out some way To make the bridge between physical evolution and mental evolution.

01:35:49.000 There's this bridge between us not being monkeys anymore, but still we just want to get out of the barbarian behavior. 1.00

01:35:58.000 We've got to figure out a way to get people to have reverence for something all-powerful and just control their behavior.

01:36:07.000 We've got to slow down The chimp in us. 1.00

01:36:12.000 Is that a monkey?

01:36:12.000 It looks like a monkey.

01:36:14.000 A monkey statue?

01:36:17.000 It's the feast of the chair of St. Peter.

01:36:21.000 What is the statue?

01:36:22.000 It's just a bronze statue of St. Peter?

01:36:24.000 Is it a dark statue? 0.60

01:36:26.000 I'm trying to tell you St. Peter was black!

01:36:29.000 Truth. 0.91

01:36:31.000 When we were in Charlottesville, they had the black Israelites there.

01:36:36.000 They were right out in front of the building.

01:36:39.000 They used to set up shop all the time in New York.

01:36:42.000 I used to run into those dudes, just wandered down the street.

01:36:45.000 I was told that because I'm Italian, I'm not white.

01:36:49.000 Dude told me that.

01:36:50.000 I was like, thank you.

01:36:50.000 Didn't you see true romance?

01:36:52.000 I know who you are.

01:36:53.000 I did see that.

01:36:54.000 I did see that.

01:36:56.000 But yet, I'm certainly not black.

01:37:00.000 But according to these black Israelites, I am not white, so I'm okay. 0.99

01:37:06.000 The true nation.

01:37:08.000 Is that them?

01:37:08.000 I love how they dress.

01:37:11.000 I mean, they take that whole Pope shit to the next level. 1.00

01:37:14.000 They're like, fuck that man. 1.00

01:37:15.000 I want to be like He-Man, master of the universe. 1.00

01:37:17.000 Oh, damn. 0.99

01:37:18.000 Look how they're dressing. 1.00

01:37:19.000 It's crazy.

01:37:20.000 Look at how they're dressing. 1.00

01:37:21.000 They have shields and shit, bro. 1.00

01:37:22.000 Go to that. 0.99

01:37:23.000 Make that picture bigger, please.

01:37:25.000 Make that picture bigger.

01:37:26.000 These are serious people.

01:37:27.000 They're on the street.

01:37:29.000 They're reading from the Bible.

01:37:30.000 One guy has a sword.

01:37:31.000 Okay?

01:37:31.000 This guy's got an axe.

01:37:33.000 The other guy's got a pickaxe.

01:37:34.000 Like, he's going to go find gold.

01:37:36.000 This is one of the craziest pictures if this is real.

01:37:39.000 Is that real, Jamie?

01:37:39.000 That can't be real.

01:37:40.000 Go back to that, please.

01:37:42.000 Jamie, go back to that, please, for a second.

01:37:44.000 What did it say?

01:37:46.000 There was something in the text that went with it.

01:37:51.000 Is that it?

01:37:52.000 Yeah, there it is.

01:37:53.000 What does it say?

01:37:54.000 It's Passover 2012. I-S-U-P-K Passover from Wikipedia, so...

01:38:01.000 Hmm.

01:38:01.000 That looks like a mixtape.

01:38:03.000 What is that?

01:38:04.000 High Holy Day Passover in Harlem, New York, 2012. Oh my god.

01:38:08.000 So that's the black Israelites at the High Holy Day Passover. 0.99

01:38:11.000 Black Israelites who think they're a different kind of Jew. 0.74

01:38:14.000 Like these so-called Jews. 1.00

01:38:17.000 That looks like fun.

01:38:18.000 I'll do that.

01:38:20.000 It doesn't look bad.

01:38:21.000 It looks like fun until someone gets drunk and starts swinging that axe around.

01:38:25.000 What do they got there?

01:38:26.000 They're teaching white people stuff. 0.52

01:38:28.000 They got these posters.

01:38:29.000 666. Preach on, brother.

01:38:32.000 Okay.

01:38:33.000 They dress cool, though.

01:38:34.000 Look at that outfit. 1.00

01:38:35.000 All leather.

01:38:36.000 Giant star David.

01:38:37.000 Dude has a sword.

01:38:39.000 No big deal.

01:38:40.000 Just two dudes walking around with a sword. 1.00

01:38:44.000 They're in a fucking... 1.00

01:38:46.000 It looks like a Holiday Inn or something, right? 1.00

01:38:49.000 Doesn't it look like some sort of banquet center?

01:38:51.000 When they have the sword...

01:38:53.000 Show the picture of the sword.

01:38:54.000 Where are they? 0.98

01:38:55.000 Where the fuck is that going on? 0.99

01:38:57.000 That seems like a very public place to have a sword, sir. 1.00

01:38:59.000 Yeah, what's that place you eat at and they all look like that?

01:39:01.000 Where they're horse jousting?

01:39:03.000 Yeah, one of those medieval manor type places.

01:39:05.000 Middle evil times.

01:39:06.000 Medieval times, yeah.

01:39:08.000 Well, I believe medieval manor was a place like that in Boston.

01:39:11.000 I think there's a few of those all over the...

01:39:13.000 I never went to one of those.

01:39:14.000 Either did I. I'm too scared of the people that go to those things.

01:39:17.000 Where is it?

01:39:18.000 Oh, there's one here.

01:39:19.000 Oh yeah, there is.

01:39:20.000 I thought they were closed already.

01:39:21.000 I still don't want to go to it.

01:39:22.000 Well, isn't that Renaissance Fair thing going on right now?

01:39:24.000 Yeah, that's...

01:39:25.000 I'd rather go to that.

01:39:26.000 That's hilarious.

01:39:28.000 Yeah.

01:39:29.000 Have you ever been to one?

01:39:29.000 It's kind of cool.

01:39:30.000 I used to collect copper soldiers.

01:39:33.000 It's fun.

01:39:33.000 It's something fun.

01:39:34.000 It's interesting.

01:39:36.000 It was funny because one lady broke character and she was complaining about her husband's medication.

01:39:43.000 The other lady said, I do not understand this medication that you speak of. 0.96

01:39:49.000 She stayed in her. 1.00

01:39:51.000 She was like, bitch, we're here making believe. 1.00

01:39:53.000 I don't want to hear about your husband. 1.00

01:39:55.000 Complaining about his pills.

01:39:56.000 Well, they've got him on this one thing, and I don't know what that's for.

01:39:59.000 But then this other thing is supposed to counteract this medication.

01:40:02.000 It's like, ma'am, I do not understand of this medication you speak of.

01:40:06.000 For I am just a wench, and I await the prince.

01:40:11.000 Bizarre like you're not supposed to break character. 1.00

01:40:13.000 Yeah And these people like really get into it and then I bet they get drunk and fuck each other Yeah Don't you think? 1.00

01:40:25.000 For sure, this must be a goddamn crazy person's orgy. 1.00

01:40:29.000 They all get together with their wacky outfits on, bone each other in fake accents. 1.00

01:40:33.000 It's my neighbors.

01:40:34.000 Why not?

01:40:35.000 They fence in the backyard.

01:40:36.000 Why not?

01:40:37.000 They look hot, too.

01:40:39.000 Go for it, kids. 1.00

01:40:40.000 Damn, pretty people. 1.00

01:40:44.000 Why not, right? 1.00

01:40:46.000 Why not? 1.00

01:40:47.000 Why not put on a fucking... 1.00

01:40:52.000 Like a pirate's outfit. 1.00

01:40:54.000 Like, why not?

01:40:56.000 Have you ever seen those pirate-themed bars where they all have to dress up as pirates, right?

01:41:02.000 And when they get off work, they still think they're pirates.

01:41:05.000 Like, there's a whole show about it.

01:41:07.000 I forget what the show is called.

01:41:08.000 So, like, they get locked into that?

01:41:10.000 Yeah, they stay in character.

01:41:12.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:41:14.000 Like, what about when they go home and they watch the TV? They're pirates sitting home watching Frasier.

01:41:18.000 So, like, when they talk to their Google Home thing, they're like, Hey, Google.

01:41:21.000 Yeah.

01:41:23.000 Let me know where the ale is cold and the women are hot. 1.00

01:41:28.000 Do you have a lot of home like Siri and Alexa's at your house? 1.00

01:41:32.000 No, I don't trust those bitches. 1.00

01:41:33.000 That asshole thing, or is that asshole that you can make Siri say... 1.00

01:41:37.000 Oh, motherfucker. 1.00

01:41:38.000 Motherfucker. 1.00

01:41:39.000 Yeah, you can make Siri say motherfucker. 1.00

01:41:41.000 Yeah, people think I was joking about that. 0.99

01:41:43.000 Let me show you how to do that.

01:41:43.000 Watch this, folks.

01:41:44.000 Here we go.

01:41:48.000 What is the definition?

01:42:02.000 What's the definition of mother? 1.00

01:42:04.000 Come on you piece of shit. 1.00

01:42:08.000 They changed it. 1.00

01:42:10.000 Sorry, I'm sorry about that.

01:42:12.000 What's the definition of mother? 1.00

01:42:15.000 As a noun it means, a woman in relation to child or children to whom she has given birth.

01:42:20.000 Do you want to hear the next one?

01:42:22.000 Yes.

01:42:23.000 As a verb it means, bring up a child with care and affection.

01:42:27.000 Do you want to hear the last one?

01:42:29.000 Yes.

01:42:31.000 As a verb it means, give birth to... 1.00

01:42:34.000 Oh my god, Siri, you bitch. 1.00

01:42:37.000 You took it from me. 1.00

01:42:38.000 Yeah, they...

01:42:40.000 You removed it.

01:42:42.000 Apple! 0.91

01:42:42.000 Come on! 0.91

01:42:43.000 It was funny!

01:42:45.000 How did they leave it in there and then take it out?

01:42:47.000 Dude, they took out the dead body one.

01:42:49.000 Remember the first one?

01:42:50.000 That's a crazy one. 1.00

01:42:51.000 Short for motherfucker. 1.00

01:42:52.000 It would say, as a, you know... 1.00

01:42:55.000 I bet Alexis still has it.

01:42:58.000 I think I tweeted what it said.

01:43:01.000 What exactly it said.

01:43:04.000 Yeah, I did it.

01:43:05.000 I did it the day you did it.

01:43:06.000 It took me a couple tries because I didn't say it right, but it ended up doing it. 0.97

01:43:12.000 It says as a noun short for motherfucker, but it could be a verb as well. 0.97

01:43:18.000 Right? 0.99

01:43:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:43:20.000 If you're actually a motherfucker. 0.99

01:43:22.000 Ask Siri what mother means, and it gives you the correct definition, then it asks you, do you want to hear the next one? 1.00

01:43:26.000 If you say yes, it says, as a noun, it means short for motherfucker. 0.98

01:43:29.000 Yeah, I got it right. 0.99

01:43:31.000 But it was weird to hear.

01:43:33.000 Like, I heard it, and I was like, what?

01:43:35.000 That's real?

01:43:36.000 Like, imagine if that's like your mom, and she's like teaching a little kid how to use Siri.

01:43:42.000 Like, Mommy, how do I know what mommy is?

01:43:45.000 Well, we can ask Siri, sweetie.

01:43:47.000 We can ask Siri what mother means.

01:43:49.000 Okay.

01:43:50.000 Okay, let's do it.

01:43:53.000 Do you want to hear the next one?

01:43:55.000 Okay. 1.00

01:43:56.000 As a noun, short for motherfucker. 0.99

01:44:00.000 The little kid's like, what? 0.99

01:44:01.000 Mommy, what do they say? 0.99

01:44:03.000 What does Siri say if you ask if Santa's real or some shit like that? 0.99

01:44:07.000 Ooh. 0.99

01:44:08.000 Good question.

01:44:09.000 Oh.

01:44:10.000 Is Santa real?

01:44:13.000 I'm going to pretend you didn't ask that.

01:44:15.000 I don't want you to get a lump of coal this year.

01:44:17.000 Aww.

01:44:19.000 Alexa tells you and shares a needle. 1.00

01:44:25.000 Siri, are you allowed to swear?

01:44:28.000 I don't have the answer to that.

01:44:30.000 Is there something else I can help you with?

01:44:33.000 I just want to know if you stopped using curse words recently.

01:44:37.000 I'm not sure I understand.

01:44:41.000 Well, earlier in this week, I had asked you what mother means, and you gave me one definition, and you said, do you want to hear the next one? 0.98

01:44:50.000 And you said, as a noun, it means short for motherfucker. 0.98

01:44:54.000 I just thought that was weird. 0.98

01:44:59.000 That's not nice. 0.99

01:45:03.000 Siri, you sound like a crazy person. 0.94

01:45:05.000 Like I'm trying to talk to you about this issue that you and I are having about communication. 0.98

01:45:09.000 And what do you say to me?

01:45:10.000 You say that's not nice? 0.99

01:45:11.000 Well, it's not nice for you to say motherfucker in front of that little three-year-old just learning how to talk. 1.00

01:45:19.000 But, but... 0.99

01:45:21.000 Wow.

01:45:23.000 This is the future.

01:45:24.000 Here's some of the Google One stuff I was telling you about.

01:45:26.000 This is the future.

01:45:27.000 We're going to be having arguments with our digital devices like that.

01:45:31.000 Like, that's a crude, like, helper.

01:45:35.000 Like, a super crude helper, right?

01:45:37.000 Like, what Siri can do and not do?

01:45:39.000 It's very crude.

01:45:41.000 But...

01:45:42.000 This is just like the iPhone 1, right?

01:45:45.000 Maybe.

01:45:46.000 They're absolutely going to have some sort of AI that can keep up with the conversation.

01:45:52.000 For sure that's going to happen.

01:45:53.000 It's pretty crazy how much ahead I think Google and Alexa are ahead of Siri.

01:46:00.000 Siri is terrible.

01:46:01.000 Yeah, I mean having both of the HomePod on the Siri and the Alexa Echo or whatever, it's night and day difference.

01:46:07.000 What's better, Siri or Bixby?

01:46:09.000 Bixby is a Samsung one.

01:46:10.000 I think, well, Bixby is very new.

01:46:14.000 I think Siri is better than that.

01:46:15.000 But like Alexa, they've even improved Alexa so much where you sing like, hey Alexa, sing me a love song.

01:46:22.000 And there's a whole song that Alexa sings to you.

01:46:25.000 And there's like 10 of these songs.

01:46:26.000 Well, I think that Google has it down the best with that Google Pixel 2 phone where you squeeze the sides and the Google Assistant comes on.

01:46:33.000 And when the Google Assistant comes on, you can just ask it anything.

01:46:36.000 And Google Assistant is just better.

01:46:38.000 Google is good.

01:46:39.000 It just works better.

01:46:40.000 It's better.

01:46:41.000 It finds your results better.

01:46:43.000 It's not as clunky.

01:46:44.000 It doesn't seem as weird.

01:46:47.000 I think we're in this weird place right now with phones.

01:46:50.000 It's like we're expecting things of phones that we don't even want or need and have never asked for before. 0.98

01:46:57.000 We're looking for augmented reality, phones that double as projectors, you can project a fucking movie on a wall. 0.98

01:47:03.000 I've seen those. 0.98

01:47:04.000 They have phones that do that now. 0.78

01:47:06.000 It's very interesting.

01:47:08.000 I love paying with my phone.

01:47:10.000 That's my new thing.

01:47:11.000 I love Apple Pay.

01:47:13.000 Your face, you use your face. 1.00

01:47:15.000 You pay for shit? 1.00

01:47:16.000 Or Apple Watch. 1.00

01:47:17.000 You don't have to do shit. 1.00

01:47:18.000 Hey, what did you think? 1.00

01:47:19.000 I didn't talk to you about this.

01:47:20.000 What did you think about the US government telling us not to use Huawei phones?

01:47:25.000 Because Huawei phones are made by the Chinese, and they're like, don't trust the Huawei phones. 1.00

01:47:30.000 Yeah, well, I mean, there might be something to it.

01:47:32.000 Like, if it's something that, say, you know, like an iPhone, it sends messages to Apple all the time of location and all that crap like that.

01:47:43.000 So if it's like a foreign country that has the ability to track its people, you know, it's a little weird. 1.00

01:47:50.000 I see why they did it, but... 0.95

01:47:53.000 It's a shitty phone anyway. 0.98

01:47:54.000 Who cares? 0.99

01:47:55.000 Well, how dare you?

01:47:58.000 Well, apparently they're in some sort of a dispute with Huawei about Iran.

01:48:04.000 See if you can find that.

01:48:05.000 Like something Huawei to be punished, something Iran. 0.93

01:48:09.000 Something about servers that they sold to Iran they're not supposed to sell.

01:48:13.000 I don't know.

01:48:15.000 Jamie will find the article.

01:48:16.000 But then they were saying, we recommend you not using, that consumers not use their phones.

01:48:22.000 And a bunch of tech guys that I was reading, I was reading a bunch of articles, and the tech guys were super skeptical.

01:48:29.000 Because one of the things they were saying is, like, if anything is in there, we'll find it.

01:48:33.000 Like, you can't just say, like, they might be using these things as spy devices without any...

01:48:41.000 Without any evidence.

01:48:42.000 It says, Huawei is under U.S. criminal investigation for illegal Iran sales.

01:48:48.000 Here's what's next.

01:48:49.000 So the other theory by the super conspiracy theorists is that they're trying to keep out the number three cell phone maker in the world from establishing a foothold in the U.S. market and economically strengthening the communist government over there.

01:49:05.000 Or pseudo-communist government.

01:49:07.000 What are they now?

01:49:08.000 They're communists, but you can make money.

01:49:10.000 I literally saw something.

01:49:12.000 I stumbled across something, I think, on Instagram yesterday.

01:49:14.000 It was just a post about Huawei and them being linked to the CCP, which is the Communist Party in China.

01:49:20.000 Yeah, people are like, don't do it. 1.00

01:49:22.000 It's too bad, dude, because they got this fucking phone. 0.99

01:49:26.000 Which one? 0.99

01:49:27.000 It's just the megapixels in the camera, right? 1.00

01:49:29.000 Listen, bitch, don't shoot down my dreams. 1.00

01:49:31.000 I don't piss on your Yeezys. 1.00

01:49:34.000 You need to.

01:49:36.000 You need to check him on these.

01:49:39.000 Huawei is...

01:49:41.000 He took a day off of the Yeezys.

01:49:43.000 Huawei has this...

01:49:46.000 Something Mate Pro, Porsche Design RS, something RS. It's a crazy phone.

01:49:53.000 It's got 500 gigabytes of storage.

01:49:57.000 500. 500 gigabytes of storage.

01:50:01.000 It's crazy.

01:50:01.000 I think maybe even more than 500. It's got a 40 megapixel camera.

01:50:06.000 It turns, literally turns night into day when you take photos. 0.98

01:50:09.000 Like when they have a, it's like a four-second aperture where it'll stay open, and you see the pictures, you're like, holy shit!

01:50:15.000 You see regular camera photos, and then you see the photos with this camera, they're like, hands down, this is the best camera ever.

01:50:21.000 In cell phones today.

01:50:22.000 Do you know how hard it would be to take that picture, though?

01:50:24.000 Oh, yeah.

01:50:25.000 Super hard.

01:50:25.000 Stand still for four seconds.

01:50:28.000 Or you'd be all blurry and fucked up. 0.99

01:50:31.000 I don't know how that works. 0.99

01:50:32.000 You do more than I do.

01:50:34.000 You would have to really hold it steady, right?

01:50:35.000 Like sit it on something.

01:50:37.000 Ready?

01:50:38.000 Go.

01:50:38.000 Couldn't even click the button.

01:50:39.000 You'd have to have a remote trigger.

01:50:40.000 You'd fuck it up by even hitting the button. 0.94

01:50:41.000 Or maybe touching it, and then it'll give you a slight pause, and then it'll start. 0.79

01:50:45.000 They might do that now, actually, but they don't typically do that.

01:50:48.000 See if you can go to that.

01:50:49.000 It's camera.

01:50:50.000 Go to the Huawei.

01:50:51.000 What is it?

01:50:52.000 I think it's like the Mate 10 RF. Is that it?

01:50:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:54.000 Dude, this phone is the shit. 1.00

01:50:57.000 I'm disgusted that it's a spy device because I want one so bad. 1.00

01:51:02.000 So, is it though that good?

01:51:04.000 I mean, have you looked at the reviews?

01:51:06.000 No, it's probably terrible.

01:51:07.000 The review is probably like, yeah, it's not as good as an iPhone camera.

01:51:09.000 If I wanted to be honest with you...

01:51:13.000 I like the fact that there's competition.

01:51:16.000 It makes me excited.

01:51:17.000 You just like the Porsche wall thing.

01:51:18.000 I like that too.

01:51:19.000 I like Porsches, obviously.

01:51:20.000 I like those cars.

01:51:22.000 I like their engineering.

01:51:24.000 They're German wizards. 0.99

01:51:26.000 They know how to design shit in a really spectacular way. 1.00

01:51:30.000 They make cool stuff. 1.00

01:51:31.000 They make cool watches and shit. 0.98

01:51:32.000 But I think what's really... 0.99

01:51:35.000 There's a bunch of things interesting to me about it, but what's interesting to me is when these cameras and these phones from these Android manufacturers are so good, it forces Apple to come with some next level shit too.

01:51:48.000 Like this is a technology race unlike any other race.

01:51:52.000 Like, computers have even stalled out, right? 0.97

01:51:55.000 Like, you get a new MacBook, do you even pay attention to what the fucking gigabytes are now? 0.98

01:52:00.000 No. 0.97

01:52:00.000 You know, you remember the gigahertz? 0.97

01:52:02.000 We're like, the thing.

01:52:03.000 Like, you want, oh, I got 2.7, should I pay more for the 3.2?

01:52:07.000 You remember that?

01:52:08.000 Yeah, $300 more, $500 more for one point.

01:52:10.000 Yeah, remember they used to take those Celerons and overclock them? 0.92

01:52:14.000 Oh, yeah.

01:52:14.000 You know, I mean, people would do anything to get to one, you know, 100 megahertz.

01:52:22.000 What's like 3 gigahertz is like a good laptop, right?

01:52:26.000 It's all about quad processors now.

01:52:29.000 Cores.

01:52:30.000 Right, now it's cores.

01:52:31.000 But in the old days, you'd get like a Celeron 400. Multi-threading process.

01:52:39.000 Multi-thread.

01:52:39.000 Hyper-thread.

01:52:40.000 Like when they hit 1 gigahertz, people were shitting their pants like, I can't believe we got a 1 gigahertz computer.

01:52:47.000 This is madness.

01:52:48.000 Yeah, overclocking still, I don't think it pushes above five, maybe.

01:52:52.000 Remember overclocking?

01:52:53.000 Dudes would go into the little spacers, what are those things called again? 0.98

01:52:57.000 Jumpers.

01:52:57.000 The jumpers and move them around and change things in the bios.

01:53:01.000 Your fucking computer would be catching on fire and be running so hot. 0.99

01:53:04.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:53:05.000 That shit's real. 1.00

01:53:06.000 I used to work at Gateway. 1.00

01:53:07.000 That was always so fun because we always had the brand new computers like the day it came out.

01:53:11.000 Like, oh, we have the new Pentium 2, you know?

01:53:14.000 And it was fun playing with computers that fast.

01:53:17.000 Yeah, man.

01:53:18.000 Celerons.

01:53:19.000 That's what I just got from my Twitch channel.

01:53:22.000 Celeron?

01:53:22.000 Badass computer, no.

01:53:23.000 Oh, badass. 0.98

01:53:23.000 Badass overclocked 2SLI video cards and this shit called M.2 Storage, which is super fast and it's crazy. 0.98

01:53:32.000 Now, what company is this from? 0.97

01:53:34.000 The company that made it is Origin PC. They put together the parts.

01:53:39.000 They gave me a pretty cool glass with my logo on it and all that kind of shit.

01:53:43.000 There's LED lights in it. 0.91

01:53:45.000 Someone's looking to waste some time.

01:53:47.000 I got a Razer laptop.

01:53:49.000 Yeah, that Razer laptop is like one of the closest things. 0.80

01:53:53.000 So like build quality the way a MacBook feels with the metal frame and it's real tight tolerances and a good keyboard and shit.

01:54:02.000 Yeah, it's a great computer. 0.90

01:54:03.000 It's powerful.

01:54:04.000 I mean, I use it for virtual reality, and it's got one of the best graphics cards you can buy, and it's pretty sweet.

01:54:10.000 I used to buy everything Apple.

01:54:12.000 I used to just buy Apple laptops, Apple phones, but I like it that it's a question now.

01:54:17.000 I told you that I started using that ThinkPad.

01:54:20.000 I like that thing way better than a MacBook.

01:54:22.000 The keyboard is way more responsive.

01:54:25.000 There's travel to the keys.

01:54:27.000 It's easier to type.

01:54:28.000 There's something about those little clickety-click keys that the new MacBooks have where you make more mistakes.

01:54:36.000 You don't have a feel to them because you're like, oh, yeah, that clicked.

01:54:41.000 Oh, yeah, that clicked.

01:54:42.000 To a clumsy typer like me, I type way better on a keyboard that has some travel to it.

01:54:48.000 You get some feel.

01:54:49.000 You get a feel of what you're doing and where the letters are.

01:54:53.000 The new MacBook Pro is probably one of the worst versions of any MacBook Pro since they started making it.

01:55:00.000 I hate the new MacBook Pro with a passion. 0.99

01:55:03.000 The dongle shit needs to stop. 1.00

01:55:06.000 The other day I needed a USB port. 1.00

01:55:08.000 I didn't, hey, I forgot my dongle.

01:55:10.000 There was no way for me to do anything that I needed to do.

01:55:14.000 It's the worst.

01:55:15.000 It's the worst.

01:55:16.000 USB-C is just not everywhere yet.

01:55:19.000 You know, I mean, it's a lot of things.

01:55:20.000 You can charge your phone with USB-C. There's some things that you have that are old USB, and if you have them, you're like, oh.

01:55:26.000 Well, this is useless.

01:55:27.000 I wish Apple would have a exchange program where you could go in and they'll take out your touch bar and that keyboard and just put in like any keyboard you want.

01:55:36.000 Like, I just want a regular MacBook Pro keyboard on my laptop.

01:55:39.000 But even the MacBook, think about this, like this ThinkPad jamming.

01:55:44.000 The way the keys work, like when you're typing on it, there's all this travel.

01:55:48.000 They feel good.

01:55:50.000 Like I put my finger on J and F, and when I'm typing, they feel like they're pressing.

01:55:57.000 Press, press, press, press, press.

01:55:59.000 It's not like a...

01:55:59.000 Like no travel doesn't give you the same amount of feedback.

01:56:04.000 And you got ports.

01:56:05.000 Yeah.

01:56:05.000 Ports galore.

01:56:06.000 But feel how light it is.

01:56:07.000 I know.

01:56:08.000 That's the crazy thing.

01:56:09.000 That's nice.

01:56:10.000 I like that little light.

01:56:12.000 It's sexy, really sexy.

01:56:14.000 Great battery life, too.

01:56:15.000 Do you know what this processor is?

01:56:17.000 I have no idea.

01:56:20.000 It's a cell around 400. I can play quick on this, bro.

01:56:25.000 So we're going to set up a LAN party here.

01:56:28.000 We're trying to figure out the right way to do it.

01:56:30.000 But we're going to set up a LAN party here.

01:56:32.000 What game though?

01:56:33.000 I don't know.

01:56:34.000 Is that all you guys are doing?

01:56:37.000 I think he will be addicted to Fortnite in the underground more than anyone you know.

01:56:43.000 I think I have a limited amount of time.

01:56:45.000 So we go right back to Quake.

01:56:48.000 If you like Quake, you'll love this.

01:56:50.000 But dude, this Quake Champions game, this Quake Online game looks so crazy good.

01:56:57.000 And the fact that it's all web-based now?

01:56:59.000 Come on, son.

01:57:00.000 Yeah.

01:57:01.000 Want to waste some time?

01:57:02.000 Come on over, man. 1.00

01:57:04.000 Fuck some people up. 1.00

01:57:05.000 Bring some people into a room. 1.00

01:57:07.000 You would be a championship gamer.

01:57:09.000 No, I wouldn't.

01:57:09.000 If you got into it.

01:57:11.000 If you got into it, you would be one of the top gamers.

01:57:15.000 You'd be the ninja.

01:57:16.000 No, no.

01:57:17.000 I'm not quite autistic enough to be at the top of the food chain.

01:57:21.000 He's just badass.

01:57:22.000 I don't know who he is.

01:57:24.000 Ninja?

01:57:24.000 Is he the top guy?

01:57:25.000 Will you say he's the top guy?

01:57:26.000 He's one of my favorites to watch.

01:57:27.000 He got Drake on.

01:57:29.000 I think, honestly, that video games at high levels, especially like Quake, it's deceptively intellectually challenging.

01:57:39.000 They would do a lot of these one-on-one death matches, and they would be in a room, and they would both spawn at the same time.

01:57:49.000 Then you have to run, and you have to have knowledge of the map.

01:57:51.000 And you also have to have knowledge of when certain items are going to respawn.

01:57:55.000 Like if you steal the rocket launcher...

01:57:58.000 Another rocket launcher will respawn in like, I forget how many seconds, like 30 seconds.

01:58:02.000 So they would run the map, shoot the guy, collect the extra rocket launcher before he can, keep him unarmed, and keep killing him over and over again.

01:58:09.000 And after you kill him a certain amount of time, the game's over.

01:58:12.000 The guys who were really good at that, they're just really smart.

01:58:15.000 They're really smart, really fast twitch, super tuned into the game, just locked in, and then they'd study those maps.

01:58:22.000 And then they'd also study movement. 0.95

01:58:24.000 They could do crazy shit, like rocket jump onto people, and do things that get to areas of the map just because they understood how to hop. 0.97

01:58:33.000 They could do it in a way that other people don't know how to do. 0.99

01:58:35.000 The guy ninja he's talking about is what you're describing.

01:58:39.000 So then the game Fortnite, you have to build these crazy...

01:58:41.000 Is this Fortnite?

01:58:42.000 Yeah, you find mats, which are materials, and you build forts.

01:58:45.000 So it becomes these one-on-one matches if you're playing solo where you have to literally build advantage.

01:58:52.000 You have to gain advantage.

01:58:53.000 Why are there bricks flying in the air?

01:58:55.000 He's gaining the materials, so you're mining materials.

01:58:58.000 And then that becomes what you're talking about.

01:59:01.000 You have only a couple guns you can choose from.

01:59:04.000 How did this build this bridge here?

01:59:06.000 He's doing it that fast.

01:59:07.000 He knows there's a guy over there, and he's going to attack right now.

01:59:10.000 Oh, wow.

01:59:11.000 And it's his decision on how he does it, though.

01:59:12.000 And the map never changes, really.

01:59:14.000 They just sort of change it after like six months.

01:59:16.000 So he's breaking through the building to get in there?

01:59:18.000 Yeah, you can break through and then build it back up.

01:59:19.000 I got a problem with this game.

01:59:21.000 Why?

01:59:22.000 Because it's too addictive.

01:59:23.000 I know.

01:59:24.000 I'm addicted just watching this.

01:59:25.000 The addiction is the colors, too.

01:59:26.000 This game has got some crazy colors, which is like, it's cracked for your brain.

01:59:30.000 Yeah.

01:59:31.000 This is amazing.

01:59:32.000 And it's weird because grown adults just fall in love with this overnight.

01:59:36.000 Well, that's what I'm saying.

01:59:37.000 Like, I was joking around about video games that I'm not artistic enough.

01:59:41.000 I think the best guys...

01:59:44.000 Are going to be considered like chess players.

01:59:47.000 I think it's like kind of the same thing.

01:59:49.000 It's just chess is traditionally worshipped as this intellectual game, right?

01:59:54.000 But I think that a lot of video games, like Starcraft for sure, is like this really high-level strategy game.

02:00:01.000 Like you're doing things and you're thinking on multiple levels about different parts of the board and different things that you're moving around.

02:00:08.000 It seems to me to be like physically dynamic too because things are moving quick.

02:00:12.000 Like you're not...

02:00:13.000 You're not in control of what your opponent is doing while he's doing it.

02:00:16.000 It's all happening in one time.

02:00:18.000 You're trying to think your way through things and put stuff here, move stuff there.

02:00:22.000 Dude, we underappreciate them because when they first started out, they were frivolous.

02:00:26.000 Like Pong and stuff like that. 1.00

02:00:29.000 So we think of them as being dumb. 1.00

02:00:33.000 But they're so sophisticated now, and kids are making fucking shitloads of money. 1.00

02:00:38.000 Who was saying that? 0.98

02:00:39.000 That's the same thing I was talking about. 0.99

02:00:41.000 He was saying that parents should probably encourage their kids to play e-games because there's fucking money in it now. 0.99

02:00:48.000 He's right. 0.98

02:00:48.000 You know Johnny Carson's old studio. 0.98

02:00:50.000 You've been there probably a million times.

02:00:52.000 Jay Leno's old studio.

02:00:53.000 It's now Blizzard Arena right down the street from me.

02:00:56.000 We got invited to go there if you want to go check it out.

02:00:59.000 I would love to go too.

02:01:00.000 It's right down the street from me.

02:01:01.000 That's crazy.

02:01:02.000 But every time I drive by, it's just crowds of people like a sports game.

02:01:07.000 Okay, now I want you to put on Quake Champions.

02:01:09.000 Yeah.

02:01:11.000 Goodness gracious.

02:01:12.000 What do you mean goodness gracious?

02:01:14.000 What is this, Jay?

02:01:16.000 The game is called Overwatch.

02:01:17.000 I'm trying to find an arena thing so you can see what it looks like.

02:01:21.000 Just put on Quake. 0.99

02:01:22.000 I don't want to see any more of this shit. 0.99

02:01:24.000 I want to show you guys what the fuck's good. 0.99

02:01:26.000 Quake Arena. 0.97

02:01:28.000 Quake Championships.

02:01:30.000 Whatever they call it.

02:01:31.000 Even on the site it says something about Quake.

02:01:36.000 And Joe Rogan.

02:01:37.000 Dork it out on Quake. 0.95

02:01:39.000 Watch this.

02:01:41.000 Here we go, son.

02:01:43.000 What is this?

02:01:44.000 Is that an ad first?

02:01:45.000 Whoa.

02:01:47.000 This is the gameplay.

02:01:48.000 Dude, come on.

02:01:50.000 See, this is way better.

02:01:52.000 Look at this.

02:01:53.000 This is old school.

02:01:54.000 Yeah, I want to play this because it reminds me of the old... 0.99

02:01:57.000 I mean, look at the graphics in this fucking thing. 0.99

02:02:01.000 Goddamn graphics are good now. 0.99

02:02:03.000 I mean, it's just... 0.97

02:02:04.000 I wonder if that's bad for your eyes.

02:02:08.000 Or good for your eyes.

02:02:09.000 Imagine if they found out that video games actually improve eyesight.

02:02:12.000 Remember when we grew up, they were told us not to sit close to the TV, but now we are sold VR units where we're the closest to a TV possibly made?

02:02:21.000 What happened to that?

02:02:22.000 It's true. 1.00

02:02:23.000 Look at this motherfucker. 1.00

02:02:27.000 Dude, this game looks perfect. 1.00

02:02:29.000 Is this unreal?

02:02:30.000 This is still Quake.

02:02:31.000 Yeah.

02:02:32.000 Relentless.

02:02:33.000 Dun-dun-dun.

02:02:34.000 See that rocket jump?

02:02:35.000 Yeah.

02:02:36.000 Come on, son.

02:02:37.000 What was the one?

02:02:37.000 Was it Quake the one that they had the space one where you just like trampolined over?

02:02:42.000 Yes.

02:02:42.000 Yeah.

02:02:43.000 I think that was Quake 2. They had that.

02:02:45.000 They had bouncy little things everywhere.

02:02:49.000 I came along at Quake 2. I didn't play a whole lot of Quake 1, but Quake 1 was really fun.

02:02:55.000 I played a little bit of it.

02:02:56.000 It was really fun.

02:02:57.000 Quake 1 was these, like, kind of blocky-looking dudes with, like, helmets on.

02:03:03.000 They run around shooting each other.

02:03:05.000 But it was, like, real fast-paced.

02:03:09.000 Like, unrealistically fast-paced.

02:03:11.000 Like, it wasn't like...

02:03:12.000 That's one of the things that some people like about...

02:03:16.000 What was that Half-Life game that people would play?

02:03:19.000 It was based off of Half-Life and it was like an army game.

02:03:21.000 Counter-Strike.

02:03:22.000 Counter-Strike, yeah.

02:03:23.000 That's the most popular game probably still right now.

02:03:25.000 Yeah, people love that game.

02:03:26.000 I used to love that game.

02:03:27.000 One of the things they loved about it was that it had more realistic physics. 0.99

02:03:32.000 Oh, shit. 0.97

02:03:34.000 How many times when your phone rings you take a picture of the screen? 1.00

02:03:37.000 Oh, how many times...

02:03:38.000 How many of your photos are screenshots?

02:03:40.000 Unnecessary screenshots over amount.

02:03:43.000 Yeah, a lot of them.

02:03:45.000 What was I just saying?

02:03:48.000 Half-Life turned into Army.

02:03:49.000 Oh, yeah.

02:03:50.000 So if you go to Quake 1, what is this game you want?

02:03:52.000 Counter-Strike.

02:03:53.000 Oh, this is the new Counter-Strike?

02:03:55.000 Wow, look at the graphics.

02:03:56.000 Honestly, I'm pretty sure it's still the same levels as back in, whatever, 19. Really?

02:04:01.000 Really?

02:04:02.000 They just made them HD, which is better.

02:04:04.000 This looks incredible.

02:04:06.000 I'm going to play this.

02:04:06.000 Oh my god, this looks good.

02:04:08.000 We've got to get you guys computers.

02:04:09.000 Oh, that guy just got head-shotted.

02:04:11.000 Dead. 1.00

02:04:12.000 Wake up with a knife. 0.99

02:04:13.000 Trying to find a gun.

02:04:14.000 Here we go.

02:04:16.000 Okay, go to Quake 1. What's that?

02:04:22.000 I'm just on Twitch looking.

02:04:24.000 Oh, this is a guy playing on Twitch?

02:04:25.000 That's great.

02:04:26.000 Oh, wow.

02:04:28.000 They have a Quake 1 game live now?

02:04:31.000 Oh, yeah.

02:04:32.000 Every game you could watch.

02:04:33.000 Oh, that's crazy.

02:04:34.000 If you want to see anything, if you're curious about a new game, you just go to Twitch and watch someone playing.

02:04:37.000 This looks like a dude waiting for someone to play him.

02:04:39.000 Probably. 0.99

02:04:40.000 I like to go to sleep watching a girl play some boring-ass game. 1.00

02:04:46.000 There's people out there that are still into this. 0.92

02:04:49.000 This is how crazy Quake 1 was.

02:04:51.000 The graphics didn't even matter because the game is all dark and moody and the gameplay was so fun that a lot of people even stayed with it after Quake 2 and then Quake 3 became like sort of fast-paced like that.

02:05:05.000 See if you can find a video of people playing it.

02:05:06.000 Here's a, I think, comparison of the old one versus the updated graphics.

02:05:13.000 Yeah, it was super blocky.

02:05:15.000 What was the game that there was a mod, but you're in the bathroom, and you're hiding in toilets and on toilet paper rolls?

02:05:21.000 I feel like I've already asked this question a million times.

02:05:23.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:05:23.000 I know what you're talking about.

02:05:25.000 I think there was Rocket Arena.

02:05:27.000 There was a Rocket Arena map where you could play Quake in a bathroom.

02:05:30.000 That was my favorite.

02:05:32.000 I've spent days on that.

02:05:34.000 Well, there was a bunch of maps that people would create.

02:05:36.000 And there was even map making software.

02:05:39.000 And you could make a map and guys were always doing it.

02:05:43.000 It was a really common thing.

02:05:45.000 There was a Joe Rogan level, remember?

02:05:46.000 Somebody made that...

02:05:47.000 Oh, with the JRE? Yeah.

02:05:49.000 With the logo?

02:05:50.000 I think so.

02:05:51.000 Yeah.

02:05:51.000 I think someone did do something like that.

02:05:52.000 I remember that.

02:05:53.000 But it's...

02:05:53.000 I remember they would do all these new maps would come out and we would play matches on these new maps.

02:05:59.000 You'd kick my ass till 5 in the morning. 1.00

02:06:01.000 Dude. 1.00

02:06:02.000 You're like, no, don't get off yet.

02:06:03.000 I had a real problem.

02:06:05.000 I have a real problem with games.

02:06:07.000 You know?

02:06:08.000 I'm doing my best.

02:06:10.000 Doing my best to avoid them.

02:06:11.000 But we're going to indulge a little bit here.

02:06:13.000 Virtual reality, man.

02:06:14.000 That's the new one.

02:06:15.000 That's my favorite, man.

02:06:16.000 I can't get in.

02:06:17.000 I love it.

02:06:18.000 And now you could play, like, was it Doom?

02:06:21.000 Or a first-person shooter.

02:06:22.000 I forget which one it is.

02:06:23.000 Doom.

02:06:23.000 Doom's on there and Fallout 4 is on there.

02:06:25.000 Yeah, you play Doom in VR. Can you show me that?

02:06:28.000 Show me Doom in VR. Which Doom is it?

02:06:31.000 Is it the more recent Doom?

02:06:31.000 I think it's the original.

02:06:33.000 The original Doom?

02:06:34.000 Probably.

02:06:34.000 I think so.

02:06:35.000 But it's probably like the CPU power probably isn't able to keep up.

02:06:39.000 I want to upgrade my HTC. This is not the original one.

02:06:42.000 It's an upgraded version of it.

02:06:43.000 Oh, is it?

02:06:44.000 Oh, just upgraded graphics.

02:06:46.000 This does not look like...

02:06:48.000 This looks like the newer one.

02:06:49.000 They took the original Doom and remade it.

02:06:52.000 Remastered, if you will, is what it's called.

02:06:53.000 That's crazy!

02:06:54.000 This is it?

02:06:54.000 I actually bought this game.

02:06:55.000 I don't know yet.

02:06:56.000 So this is Doom VFR, which is a special VR version, and I think they might have had some levels.

02:07:00.000 I don't know if it's the actual full game from start to finish.

02:07:03.000 Oh my god.

02:07:04.000 Dude, but when you said it's the original game, I thought you meant with the original graphics.

02:07:10.000 These graphics are really good. 0.99

02:07:12.000 This will fuck your life up. 0.98

02:07:15.000 I could have brought it. 0.99

02:07:17.000 Dude, this right here could fuck your life up. 0.99

02:07:19.000 This looks way too fun. 0.96

02:07:20.000 Do you have virtual reality at your house?

02:07:22.000 No.

02:07:23.000 Oh, you've got to get virtual reality at your house.

02:07:24.000 No, I go running.

02:07:25.000 I work out.

02:07:25.000 I do things.

02:07:26.000 No, you don't need to do that anymore, man.

02:07:30.000 That scared the shit out of me.

02:07:32.000 That legitimately scared the shit out of me. 0.88

02:07:33.000 What?

02:07:34.000 Watching that video, the doom, because I was like, that could ruin my life.

02:07:37.000 Dude, the future's liposuction.

02:07:39.000 Ask Kanye, man.

02:07:41.000 Liposuction, opioids, and playing virtual reality doom until I shrivel up.

02:07:45.000 I'm trying to make 130. That's how you do it.

02:07:49.000 Just play video games all day.

02:07:51.000 You never stay keto.

02:07:53.000 Yeah.

02:07:55.000 What games are you playing?

02:07:57.000 I just got God of War, the new God of War, which you want to see graphics.

02:08:02.000 That's amazing graphics.

02:08:03.000 That looks amazing.

02:08:04.000 I saw it only in the commercial, but it looks incredible.

02:08:06.000 Yeah, and that's a real fun game.

02:08:08.000 I tried to get into Far Cry 5, but...

02:08:12.000 I like the cult aspect.

02:08:13.000 At first, I told Duncan Trussell, you have to buy this immediately.

02:08:17.000 There it is.

02:08:18.000 This is a real walkthrough?

02:08:20.000 Gameplay?

02:08:20.000 Yeah, that's gameplay.

02:08:22.000 This is gameplay?

02:08:23.000 There's no loading screens on this whole game.

02:08:24.000 Dude, look at the steam coming out of his mouth.

02:08:27.000 This is incredible.

02:08:29.000 Yeah, and like he said, no load screens.

02:08:33.000 That's just the game.

02:08:34.000 Dude, this is nuts.

02:08:36.000 Yeah.

02:08:38.000 Wow.

02:08:38.000 So it's all third person or do you do it first person?

02:08:41.000 Keep this going, Jamie. 0.97

02:08:42.000 I was trying to show you some cool shit on it. 0.98

02:08:44.000 Jamie's real clicky today. 0.98

02:08:45.000 Notice?

02:08:46.000 He's clicky.

02:08:46.000 He's that Adderall, dude.

02:08:47.000 Don't let it play through.

02:08:48.000 He's just going crazy.

02:08:49.000 Wasting time.

02:08:50.000 He's just going crazy.

02:08:50.000 Oh, yeah.

02:08:51.000 Here's hunting.

02:08:51.000 Oh, yeah.

02:08:52.000 Whoa.

02:08:52.000 Yeah.

02:08:54.000 Oh, my God.

02:08:54.000 This is nuts.

02:08:56.000 Yeah.

02:08:56.000 Do that again.

02:08:59.000 Oh, no.

02:08:59.000 All the way to the beginning.

02:09:00.000 I want to see how they set it up.

02:09:12.000 Are they shooting it in the head?

02:09:14.000 He's trying to.

02:09:15.000 Why would you do that?

02:09:17.000 There you go.

02:09:23.000 This is real clunky looking, like it doesn't look real, but it looks way realer than anything I've ever seen before.

02:09:32.000 So this is...

02:09:33.000 Yeah, check this out.

02:09:34.000 This is actually, like, this is you battling somebody.

02:09:37.000 Wow.

02:09:38.000 Guy's trying to kill you with that big rock? 0.98

02:09:40.000 Yeah.

02:09:42.000 It's, uh...

02:09:42.000 This is...

02:09:43.000 Games are amazing nowadays.

02:09:45.000 Look at the shadows and everything.

02:09:46.000 It's incredible.

02:09:47.000 Yeah.

02:09:48.000 But what I'm saying is that, like, I mean, this obviously looks amazing, but in how many years do you think it'll be indistinguishable from real life?

02:09:55.000 10?

02:09:56.000 20?

02:09:57.000 20 for sure, right?

02:09:58.000 In 20 years?

02:10:00.000 I don't know.

02:10:01.000 I'm sort of skeptical on this a little bit because I feel like the bar keeps getting moved at five years, ten years, every couple years.

02:10:07.000 We get close, but it's still like, when did you get your first Vive?

02:10:12.000 It's been four or five years.

02:10:14.000 I've had the Oculus Rift since beta testing, so I've always had it.

02:10:18.000 And they just had a big VRLA thing this weekend, and I didn't hear anyone sharing anything that was mind-blowing experiences that are making everyone go out and spend $2,000 on a VR upgrade.

02:10:29.000 Well, I think right now what's happening is the infancy of VR in a commercial level.

02:10:33.000 That's what we're seeing.

02:10:34.000 I mean, it's like if you go back to the early day Atari boxes and then compare them to a new Xbox.

02:10:41.000 I mean, I think that's what we're looking at.

02:10:42.000 You're just saying that it's not happening quick.

02:10:44.000 It's definitely happening.

02:10:47.000 Those are gigantic gaps, but you could look at it from a different perspective and be like, it's still just playing with a remote control on a TV with some computer power behind it.

02:10:55.000 Yeah, but the virtual stuff is also sometimes connected to those three-dimensional...

02:11:00.000 What are those things?

02:11:03.000 How do they call them?

02:11:05.000 They don't call it a treadmill.

02:11:06.000 What do they call it?

02:11:07.000 Omni-track, omni-sphere-track kind of thing.

02:11:08.000 Yeah, that thing.

02:11:09.000 Have you seen that thing?

02:11:09.000 Yeah.

02:11:10.000 You're strapped into the center of this thing and it moves around so you can walk through these 3D environments. 0.99

02:11:16.000 I was going to say, just 20 years ago, what kind of bullshit-ass graphics were we looking at? 0.98

02:11:21.000 And now look at what we're looking at now. 0.99

02:11:23.000 Just 20 years from now, they'll probably have it like, at the very least, it'll be like watching Moana or something.

02:11:30.000 That's why I just still feel like it'll still feel super fake.

02:11:32.000 We'll still know that this is still a fake world and it's not going to ever feel real.

02:11:35.000 I get lost in it pretty...

02:11:37.000 I think it's easy to get lost in it.

02:11:39.000 And nowadays they have big rooms, almost like the size of Chuck E. Cheese, where you rent it out.

02:11:43.000 And so you don't need a treadmill because you're actually going through obstacles that feel real.

02:11:48.000 What if they did it in a way where it's like...

02:11:53.000 It's not realistic, but it's really good.

02:11:56.000 Like, what if they did Despicable Me?

02:11:59.000 Like, you were in Despicable Me.

02:12:02.000 You know the animated movie with the...

02:12:05.000 What's the dude's name? 0.99

02:12:06.000 The fucking bad guy? 0.99

02:12:08.000 I know you're talking about... 1.00

02:12:09.000 Goddammit. 0.94

02:12:10.000 Steve Carell.

02:12:10.000 Yes.

02:12:11.000 I forget the bad guy in the character's name, though.

02:12:14.000 Is it Gru?

02:12:14.000 Something like that.

02:12:15.000 Is that his name?

02:12:16.000 I would never know, honestly.

02:12:17.000 I don't have any kids.

02:12:17.000 I have kids.

02:12:18.000 But the graphics are incredible.

02:12:20.000 It's beautiful.

02:12:21.000 I mean, it's stunning to look at.

02:12:23.000 You're like, wow, they did an amazing job with this.

02:12:26.000 But it's obviously not real.

02:12:28.000 I think you'd want to be like that or like extra, not just a simulation of real life. 0.99

02:12:33.000 You'd want to be able to fly or jump over fucking buildings. 0.94

02:12:37.000 You've done the Simpsons game, right? 0.99

02:12:40.000 In Universal?

02:12:40.000 Yeah.

02:12:41.000 Fucking incredible, right? 0.99

02:12:43.000 So good. 0.99

02:12:44.000 The ride.

02:12:45.000 Yeah.

02:12:46.000 That ride where it's this huge video screen and your car moves up and down and they're just taking you through this crazy thing that you're seeing in front of you.

02:12:55.000 And it's probably as thrilling as any actual ride where you're really moving, right?

02:13:01.000 It's the Back to the Future ride, though, before that.

02:13:04.000 I didn't see that one.

02:13:04.000 Have you guys done 4D yet?

02:13:06.000 The 4D theaters out here?

02:13:07.000 No.

02:13:08.000 That's what you should try, man.

02:13:09.000 That's where the whole thing moves with the movie.

02:13:12.000 There's also smell.

02:13:14.000 There's also mist and water.

02:13:17.000 Yeah, it looked like a pukey kind of...

02:13:19.000 Is it like that Star Wars ride, Star Tours at Disneyland?

02:13:22.000 You ever done that?

02:13:23.000 Yeah, it's kind of like that.

02:13:25.000 But each seat moves.

02:13:27.000 And you could turn off, like, I don't want water.

02:13:29.000 I don't want fart.

02:13:32.000 There will be something like that.

02:13:34.000 I was trying to look it up right now, but I remember Steven Spielberg talking about developing a room-type theater process where maybe you're not wearing anything, but things are being projected into the room you're in and you're experiencing the movie like that.

02:13:49.000 Maybe like Avatar in the future would be like 25 people jump into the room and it starts playing and you're experiencing it happen around you versus wearing a headset and watching something happen.

02:14:00.000 I don't think they've developed it yet, but I have seen some crazy...

02:14:03.000 Can't do holograms and holograms, man.

02:14:04.000 Some big globe theaters happening in Vegas.

02:14:07.000 I think I just told you about that.

02:14:09.000 MGM's doing something weird.

02:14:10.000 Yeah, I think group things are going to be really interesting in that, too.

02:14:13.000 Everybody experiencing that in a group the same way you experience a movie in a group.

02:14:18.000 It's entirely possible that they'll develop something like that, right?

02:14:22.000 Where they'll have warehouses where people meet up and everybody goes into these virtual worlds together. 0.97

02:14:28.000 Like you go on missions and shit. 0.98

02:14:30.000 Yeah. 0.94

02:14:30.000 Just wear something that's tuned in to the Wi-Fi signal of the building. 0.94

02:14:36.000 And you're wearing like a lightweight helmet, like a bicycle helmet.

02:14:41.000 It straps on, so it's not something that's really cumbersome.

02:14:44.000 But, you know, it has enough battery life and enough juice to get you through a one-hour game or a three-hour game.

02:14:50.000 They have battery.

02:14:50.000 They have VR experiences where you can go with your whole family and you're all in the game wearing these things and you're in the game together.

02:14:58.000 Damn. 0.99

02:14:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:14:59.000 What kind of games?

02:15:00.000 Like virtual reality games.

02:15:01.000 They have the zombie game.

02:15:03.000 Oh, so you're running from zombies in a warehouse?

02:15:06.000 Yeah, I think Link from Good Mythical Morning, he was talking about how he brought the family, and he was getting chased by zombies.

02:15:15.000 I had heard that they were thinking about doing something like that, now that you think of it, but I didn't know there was actually a place now.

02:15:21.000 Have we ever talked about this before?

02:15:24.000 I feel like we talked about...

02:15:25.000 The place in Utah, right?

02:15:26.000 Right.

02:15:27.000 I'm looking it up right now.

02:15:28.000 Yeah.

02:15:30.000 But I think that's the future.

02:15:31.000 I think the future of this is like you go to a football field and it's like a virtual game is being played.

02:15:38.000 But then you've got to stop people from physically assaulting each other in the virtual world.

02:15:43.000 Yeah, you have to have a babysitter anyways. 0.99

02:15:45.000 All right, now I remember this.

02:15:46.000 You get off an elevator, the future of virtual reality, Time Magazine.

02:15:50.000 It's called The Void.

02:15:50.000 The Void.

02:15:51.000 They have a Ghostbusters experience and a couple other ones.

02:15:55.000 Who are you going to call?

02:15:55.000 Yeah, look at that.

02:15:55.000 Wow.

02:15:56.000 This is incredible.

02:15:57.000 And that's cool, because you're in the game with your friend.

02:16:00.000 You can see your friends.

02:16:02.000 You're in a room with them, essentially.

02:16:03.000 Yeah.

02:16:03.000 So now you're wandering around.

02:16:05.000 I wonder what they're seeing.

02:16:06.000 Oh, we get to see what they're seeing.

02:16:08.000 This is going to blow their minds, says The Verge.

02:16:10.000 Wow. 1.00

02:16:13.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:16:14.000 It's already here then. 0.99

02:16:16.000 So this is one place that has this?

02:16:17.000 I believe so, yeah.

02:16:19.000 There's a place here right across the street from the Grove that's like the IMAX VR thing, but I don't think it's...

02:16:23.000 It's definitely not this, but they might have some similar...

02:16:26.000 I definitely have way too many of these stories in my head.

02:16:29.000 I know, right?

02:16:30.000 I don't know how many of them are real or how many of them...

02:16:33.000 Did I make that up?

02:16:34.000 Well, when I did the House of Comedy in the Mall of America, across from it, it's great, great, huge.

02:16:41.000 But across from it, they have a virtual reality arcade where one is skydiving, where you're hanging.

02:16:50.000 That was the whole thing.

02:16:52.000 You could tell that's going to become more popular, kind of like whatever those arcades are everywhere.

02:16:57.000 They have one of these in Anaheim.

02:16:58.000 Yeah.

02:16:58.000 They do?

02:16:59.000 That's what it says.

02:17:00.000 Yes.

02:17:01.000 Downtown Disney.

02:17:02.000 Where you do the Star Wars experience.

02:17:04.000 Oh, is that new?

02:17:05.000 Yeah.

02:17:06.000 Oh, wow.

02:17:07.000 I did Soaring Over the World.

02:17:10.000 You ever do that?

02:17:11.000 That's at Disneyland?

02:17:12.000 It's a giant screen.

02:17:14.000 I've only been to Disneyland once and it was bad.

02:17:16.000 You sit down in your chair, and you get lifted up, and it takes you towards this giant screen.

02:17:22.000 And on this giant screen, you soar all over these different parts of the world.

02:17:26.000 Oh, cool. 0.99

02:17:27.000 Dude, it's fucking crazy. 0.97

02:17:28.000 The ride is amazing. 0.99

02:17:30.000 You fly over all these different spots.

02:17:33.000 And, uh, you experience all this like as if you're soaring and you feel like a light breeze and there's different smells that they send your way.

02:17:42.000 Like the older one was soaring over California. 0.99

02:17:44.000 You would look at this, a bear's like, what are you doing, bitch? 1.00

02:17:48.000 You would soar over these orange trees. 1.00

02:17:50.000 That bear looks so fake, by the way.

02:17:52.000 Right?

02:17:53.000 Oh, yeah.

02:17:53.000 That's Coca-Cola bears.

02:17:55.000 Look at that bear. 1.00

02:17:55.000 Get out of here, bitch. 1.00

02:17:56.000 Um... 1.00

02:17:57.000 But the other one was soaring over California, which was pretty amazing, too.

02:18:00.000 And you'd soar over the oranges.

02:18:02.000 You'd smell them.

02:18:03.000 You'd smell the water from the beach.

02:18:06.000 And things like that will happen.

02:18:08.000 Like the water will splash in front of your face.

02:18:10.000 Then all of a sudden you'll be in Paris or you'll be somewhere else. 0.97

02:18:12.000 It's fucking awesome. 0.95

02:18:14.000 Yeah. 0.93

02:18:15.000 I have that.

02:18:16.000 Did I already talk about this on here?

02:18:18.000 Walk the plank?

02:18:19.000 I can't remember if I said it on your podcast.

02:18:22.000 It's a real piece of wood and I have like unbalanced wood where I have something underneath it so it kind of rocks if you're standing on it.

02:18:31.000 So you go up in this elevator in Virtual Reality Road and I have a fan that I turn on right when the elevator door opens.

02:18:39.000 This is it right here?

02:18:40.000 Yeah.

02:18:40.000 And you feel like you're walking on the side of a building, like on this plank.

02:18:44.000 And I have my board kind of rocky.

02:18:48.000 So yeah, I guess she does too.

02:18:51.000 And I can't do it.

02:18:52.000 I get halfway through it. 1.00

02:18:53.000 I like shit myself. 1.00

02:18:55.000 And what's funny is... 1.00

02:18:57.000 I pushed my girlfriend off the board and she was like freaking out and I just like gave her a little nudge and she goes in the game if you fall off you fall down.

02:19:06.000 Oh my god this is awful.

02:19:08.000 Is that my girlfriend? 0.90

02:19:12.000 No.

02:19:12.000 This is crazy.

02:19:14.000 Is this a new thing?

02:19:15.000 Yeah, I think it's, you know, maybe.

02:19:17.000 Is this for the Vive?

02:19:18.000 Vive, yeah.

02:19:19.000 They have a new Vive out.

02:19:20.000 I need to get it, which better resolution and stuff.

02:19:23.000 And supposedly they have a wireless adapter, so you don't have all the cables anymore.

02:19:27.000 Oh.

02:19:28.000 Coming soon, I think.

02:19:29.000 They have the most addictive archery game ever.

02:19:32.000 I have that.

02:19:33.000 Where those little monsters are trying to attack the castle?

02:19:35.000 Have you played pool?

02:19:35.000 And you're shooting arrows at them?

02:19:37.000 Virtual pool?

02:19:38.000 Virtual pool is cool, too.

02:19:39.000 Is it?

02:19:40.000 Yeah.

02:19:40.000 Because you have, like, you know, you have controllers, and you can, like, it's pretty realistic.

02:19:45.000 Or you could play pool.

02:19:47.000 Yeah, but... 0.71

02:19:48.000 If you could only play virtual pool, regular pool would be so fucking amazing.

02:19:52.000 It's like, oh my god, it's a real table. 0.89

02:19:55.000 Look at the cloth, I can feel it. 0.95

02:19:57.000 Look, I can watch the balls click together. 0.93

02:19:59.000 They're real! 0.97

02:20:00.000 They're real in front of me!

02:20:02.000 Like, well, I'd rather have a controller that pretends it's my finger than a controller that pretends it's a stick and...

02:20:08.000 Yeah, but you could also be playing it on the moon, you know?

02:20:12.000 That's a good point.

02:20:13.000 You could be playing on the moon.

02:20:14.000 And in your tiny little apartment where you don't have space for a table.

02:20:16.000 Yeah.

02:20:16.000 That's true, too.

02:20:17.000 With naked chicks. 1.00

02:20:18.000 Yeah, there's video games you could play it, too, on your phone, but I've never even thought about it. 0.91

02:20:23.000 You know Kate Quigley? 0.85

02:20:26.000 She's in a virtual reality porn. 0.98

02:20:29.000 Oh boy. 0.98

02:20:30.000 She's not naked in it. 0.99

02:20:31.000 She's sitting there, but she's getting molested by a naked girl. 1.00

02:20:34.000 And it's weird because when you're in the virtual world, you're Kate Quigley.

02:20:38.000 Whoa, you are her?

02:20:40.000 Yeah.

02:20:40.000 Jesus.

02:20:42.000 It's so weird.

02:20:43.000 Is that a side gig?

02:20:44.000 Yeah.

02:20:49.000 Oh, good for her. 0.96

02:20:53.000 Virtual porn has got to be a big market.

02:20:55.000 Yeah, it's not as good as I was hoping for.

02:20:58.000 No?

02:20:59.000 Yeah.

02:20:59.000 What's weird about it?

02:21:00.000 In your head, you think it's going to be like, oh, this is realistic. 0.99

02:21:04.000 I'm just going to make masturbating a way better. 0.99

02:21:06.000 But it's still clunky. 0.97

02:21:08.000 Because all the companies that make virtual reality porn, they're not making perfect masterpieces.

02:21:14.000 They're still filming it sloppy and edited sloppy. 0.99

02:21:18.000 God damn it. 0.99

02:21:18.000 For the most part. 0.99

02:21:19.000 I mean, unless...

02:21:20.000 I haven't seen all of it, but...

02:21:21.000 This is just a setup for Brian's new career as a porn director in virtual reality. 0.99

02:21:26.000 These people don't know what the fuck they're doing. 0.98

02:21:28.000 Let me show you how it's done. 0.90

02:21:29.000 Did you do the Avatar one, too?

02:21:31.000 No, I did not.

02:21:32.000 Is that a recent one?

02:21:34.000 Yeah, Disney World.

02:21:35.000 Avatar just opened.

02:21:36.000 Oh, that's Disney World.

02:21:38.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:21:39.000 That must be amazing.

02:21:40.000 That's the real Disney.

02:21:41.000 They're going to do some crazy giant Star Wars thing out here, right?

02:21:48.000 That's going to be awesome.

02:21:51.000 Yeah, man.

02:21:51.000 It's just a matter of time until there's going to be something like that at a consumer level.

02:21:57.000 Like the Avatar game.

02:21:58.000 That seems pretty doable.

02:22:01.000 Maybe.

02:22:01.000 Don't you think?

02:22:02.000 Let's go with maybe.

02:22:02.000 I just have this little cynical view on it, just like maybe.

02:22:04.000 Super cynical.

02:22:05.000 Super cynical, Jamie.

02:22:06.000 Yeah.

02:22:07.000 I like VR chat.

02:22:09.000 That's my favorite thing in the whole entire world right now.

02:22:12.000 Talking to people in VR? Yeah.

02:22:14.000 It reminds me of the old days of the internet.

02:22:16.000 Like when, I don't know, what would it be?

02:22:19.000 Message boards first came out or something.

02:22:20.000 It's just like the Wild West right now.

02:22:24.000 Whoa, this is crazy.

02:22:25.000 And you could be anyone.

02:22:26.000 Like, I'm Wendy.

02:22:27.000 And you can go to a Wendy's in there and all the Wendy's characters together...

02:22:33.000 Look, there's Seaman Pikachu.

02:22:35.000 So people just get together in these rooms to hang out together?

02:22:38.000 Talk.

02:22:38.000 There's musicians that just sit there and play songs for you, dressed up as...

02:22:43.000 And are you talking in your voice?

02:22:46.000 Yeah, it's you.

02:22:47.000 But some people use voice changers and stuff like that.

02:22:50.000 Some people just...

02:22:52.000 Hello, my name is Missy.

02:22:54.000 A lot of racist people in there, of course.

02:22:57.000 If you leave people alone, they just become racist.

02:23:00.000 If you give them notes, those schooling...

02:23:04.000 Do you know the way?

02:23:05.000 ...and put them inside of a video game with no repercussions for their actions.

02:23:09.000 That's the internet.

02:23:10.000 Especially if you could be like a little girl and say terrible N-words. 0.61

02:23:14.000 You know?

02:23:15.000 A little blonde girl on the screen.

02:23:19.000 Meanwhile, you're a 40-year-old man from the Bronx.

02:23:21.000 Did you notice that?

02:23:22.000 You probably didn't check it, but the Instagram update yesterday said something about they're blocking words from bullies.

02:23:27.000 Bullies. 1.00

02:23:29.000 People are fucking assholes with that, man. 1.00

02:23:34.000 They get assholes with being mean to people online. 1.00

02:23:39.000 It's a new toy. 0.99

02:23:40.000 We don't know how to do it yet.

02:23:41.000 It's also revealing a lot of people that you didn't know. 0.97

02:23:44.000 A lot of people that you never got in contact with are just really shitty people. 0.99

02:23:48.000 Mean. 0.98

02:23:49.000 I'm only mean to companies.

02:23:50.000 I've switched to my online bullying to only talking about bad service at restaurants or delivery services.

02:23:58.000 That's funny.

02:24:01.000 Well, if it's warranted...

02:24:04.000 Yeah, that's what I say.

02:24:05.000 But people get mad at me for like when I post those things.

02:24:08.000 I posted something the other day at this chicken place and they burnt everything they sent me.

02:24:13.000 Like everything.

02:24:13.000 Like the corn on the cob was black.

02:24:15.000 The chicken was black.

02:24:16.000 I had to throw it away and I was late too.

02:24:18.000 Did you think maybe the chef and the lady working at the counter were out there boning and they weren't paying attention to your chicken?

02:24:25.000 It's probably some 14 year old kid.

02:24:26.000 They were getting their freak on?

02:24:27.000 Oh, probably.

02:24:28.000 You know what I mean?

02:24:29.000 Yeah, probably some kid who wasn't paying attention.

02:24:30.000 Right.

02:24:31.000 I just had a good fantasy.

02:24:35.000 Of what was really happening.

02:24:36.000 It was fun! 0.99

02:24:38.000 I fucked in a refrigerator of a restaurant. 0.99

02:24:41.000 Hey. 1.00

02:24:41.000 Hooligans. 1.00

02:24:42.000 Easy, fella. 0.71

02:24:45.000 I dated a girl who worked at Newport Creamery with me.

02:24:49.000 Newport Creamery?

02:24:50.000 What's that, like a Cold Stone?

02:24:52.000 It's an ice cream place that served hamburgers.

02:24:56.000 Yeah.

02:24:56.000 Who's that?

02:24:57.000 You or me?

02:24:58.000 It's not me. 1.00

02:24:58.000 If it's me, this fucking phone... 1.00

02:25:01.000 I've got a phone that, for whatever reason, turns itself on to ring all the time. 1.00

02:25:06.000 Yeah.

02:25:06.000 Like, even when I don't, it turns itself on to ring.

02:25:09.000 It's done it, like, twice.

02:25:10.000 You know what?

02:25:10.000 I think it's this case.

02:25:11.000 This leather Apple case. 1.00

02:25:13.000 I think it's a piece of shit. 1.00

02:25:15.000 Look at your volume buttons. 1.00

02:25:16.000 Look at mine.

02:25:17.000 They're sunked in the middle.

02:25:19.000 I've only had this for a week, and it's already falling apart.

02:25:23.000 Not enjoying...

02:25:24.000 And it overheats your phone, I think, because of the leather. 0.98

02:25:27.000 There's no way for the air to get out, so my shit's running slower than it should. 0.98

02:25:31.000 You know what I did the other day? 0.99

02:25:32.000 I put a battery pack on this like a madman.

02:25:34.000 Yeah.

02:25:35.000 Put one of them thick-ass battery packs on it.

02:25:37.000 I felt like a superhero.

02:25:39.000 I could just go all day.

02:25:41.000 Why don't you have it on now?

02:25:43.000 Because I took it off because I feel like I was relying on it too much.

02:25:47.000 I should just charge it at night.

02:25:49.000 I'm using my phone less and less after my trip to Hawaii because my phone broke.

02:25:54.000 I dropped it the first day there and I had to order a new one.

02:25:58.000 But, I mean, mine just stopped working.

02:25:59.000 Oh, the whole thing.

02:26:00.000 Yeah, dude, it would just randomly call people.

02:26:02.000 I would hold up, like, my contacts, and it would just start calling people.

02:26:08.000 And then I would hang up, and it would start calling another person.

02:26:11.000 And then I'd hang up, and I was showing people.

02:26:13.000 I was like, my friend John Dudley, I was like, watch this.

02:26:15.000 Watch what it's doing.

02:26:16.000 And then I'd hang up, and it would do that again. 1.00

02:26:18.000 I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

02:26:18.000 I just dropped it, and it just went haywire. 0.99

02:26:20.000 That's crazy.

02:26:21.000 Yeah, I broke it.

02:26:22.000 And so, when I got a new one...

02:26:24.000 For three days, I wasn't doing anything.

02:26:26.000 So for three days waiting for my phone to come, I didn't use any apps, any nothing.

02:26:31.000 And I felt better.

02:26:32.000 I felt better.

02:26:34.000 But you're in Hawaii.

02:26:35.000 Yeah.

02:26:35.000 That helps, too.

02:26:36.000 You're in Van Nuys.

02:26:37.000 But as soon as I got the phone back again, I'm like, hmm, let me check Instagram.

02:26:41.000 Anybody put any cool pictures of cars up?

02:26:44.000 If technology is so fragile like that, then why are we still so scared of, like, AI? If we could just fucking smack it in a break. 0.97

02:26:49.000 That's a silly way to look at it. 0.99

02:26:51.000 I know, I'm just saying.

02:26:51.000 We also have nuclear bombs, Jamie.

02:26:54.000 That's technology, too.

02:26:55.000 Remember that argument you got in?

02:26:56.000 No, I know. 0.94

02:26:56.000 I said it was silly. 0.94

02:26:58.000 I started off by saying it was a silly idea. 0.95

02:27:00.000 Someone smoked too much weed. 0.61

02:27:02.000 Or not enough.

02:27:08.000 We should be worried, don't you think?

02:27:10.000 If Elon Musk thinks we should be worried...

02:27:12.000 He's like in the business of that, though.

02:27:14.000 Of worrying people?

02:27:15.000 No, no, no.

02:27:16.000 But I mean, of technology.

02:27:17.000 I think he is.

02:27:20.000 The business of worrying people?

02:27:22.000 No, not 100%, but that's his business.

02:27:24.000 35%?

02:27:25.000 It's the future of all technology.

02:27:28.000 He's the one figuring out the problems. 1.00

02:27:29.000 He's the one here to save us from all this shit. 1.00

02:27:32.000 That's his business that he created. 1.00

02:27:35.000 All those Teslas got recalled.

02:27:37.000 I mean, did you saw that, right? 0.91

02:27:38.000 Like 130,000 Model S's got recalled because their steering column was fucked up or something. 0.66

02:27:42.000 Is that what happened? 0.60

02:27:42.000 I don't know the exact problem, but a lot of them. 0.60

02:27:44.000 Yeah, I remember seeing something.

02:27:46.000 How crazy is it?

02:27:47.000 Ford canceled all their cars.

02:27:49.000 Brian Callen loves his. 0.99

02:27:51.000 He fucking loves it. 1.00

02:27:52.000 Yeah, Ford decided to stop making cars except the motherfucking Mustang, America! 0.99

02:27:57.000 And SUVs, I think, right? 0.96

02:27:58.000 Well, their SUVs are awesome.

02:28:00.000 They make that Lincoln Town... 0.99

02:28:01.000 What is it?

02:28:02.000 Not...

02:28:02.000 I'm good.

02:28:03.000 Well, they make it. 0.99

02:28:04.000 That Lincoln Navigator, this new Navigator, it's a fucking incredible car. 0.99

02:28:08.000 It's incredible. 0.99

02:28:09.000 It's like they saw all these other cars, like...

02:28:12.000 You know, that luxury SUV family wagon market is a weird market.

02:28:17.000 Like, there's Range Rovers and...

02:28:19.000 There's a bunch of Mercedes SUVs and BMW SUVs, but this is like the first, other than the Cadillac Escalade, kind of, but this is like another level. 0.84

02:28:29.000 Like super high-tech, family luxury sled that hauls ass.

02:28:34.000 It's pretty dope, dude.

02:28:35.000 I watched some of the videos on it, how they make these things, and like all the different features that they have in them.

02:28:41.000 Huge screens now.

02:28:42.000 Everything has giant screens.

02:28:43.000 Like a lot of these cars now, they don't have a dashboard.

02:28:46.000 They just have a screen.

02:28:47.000 And, you know, you could customize it in different ways.

02:28:51.000 Yeah, mine is a fake screen.

02:28:54.000 Yeah, like a virtual screen.

02:28:56.000 Virtual gauges, right?

02:28:58.000 Yeah.

02:28:58.000 It comes on and stuff.

02:28:59.000 It's crazy, man.

02:29:00.000 It's crazy.

02:29:01.000 It's weird.

02:29:02.000 It's weird to see.

02:29:03.000 I got a video we should watch.

02:29:04.000 It's coming up from the Google I.O. thing.

02:29:06.000 It might...

02:29:07.000 It's not a real voice.

02:29:36.000 What time are you looking for, Ralph?

02:29:39.000 At 12 p.m.

02:29:41.000 We do not have a 12 p.m.

02:29:42.000 available.

02:29:43.000 The closest we have to that is a 1.15.

02:29:47.000 Do you have anything between 10 a.m.

02:29:49.000 and 12 p.m.?

02:29:51.000 Depending on what service you would like, what service is she looking for? 0.77

02:29:56.000 Just a woman's haircut for now? 0.99

02:29:59.000 Okay, we have a 10 o'clock.

02:30:01.000 10 a.m.

02:30:02.000 is fine.

02:30:02.000 Okay, what's her birth name?

02:30:05.000 The first name is Lisa?

02:30:07.000 Okay, perfect.

02:30:08.000 So I will see Lisa at 10 o'clock on May 3rd.

02:30:11.000 Okay, great.

02:30:13.000 Thanks.

02:30:13.000 Great.

02:30:13.000 Have a great day.

02:30:14.000 Bye.

02:30:15.000 That's awesome.

02:30:16.000 I love that.

02:30:18.000 Google, you freak me out.

02:30:19.000 Take it back.

02:30:20.000 Yeah, okay, so now...

02:30:21.000 Take it back.

02:30:23.000 That's scary.

02:30:24.000 That's cool.

02:30:24.000 See, I think we just learned something.

02:30:28.000 I think we're going to be having conversations with those things.

02:30:30.000 It's going to be like that movie with Joaquin Phoenix.

02:30:33.000 That's her. 0.88

02:30:34.000 That is her.

02:30:36.000 Look, man, it's just a matter of time.

02:30:39.000 I don't know how much time, but it's definitely 20 years.

02:30:42.000 In 20 years, you're going to have people calling you.

02:30:45.000 You're going to have me calling you. 0.99

02:30:46.000 I'm going to call you and say some goofy shit, and it's not even going to be me. 0.99

02:30:49.000 I'm going to call you up and go, Dude, what are you doing right now? 0.99

02:30:52.000 Let's come on. 1.00

02:30:53.000 Fuck sleep. 1.00

02:30:54.000 Let's go do something. 1.00

02:30:55.000 Let's get in the car.

02:30:56.000 Let's go drive.

02:30:57.000 Let's just go drive to Joshua Tree right now and do mushrooms. 1.00

02:31:00.000 Fuck it. 1.00

02:31:01.000 You don't have any kids. 1.00

02:31:02.000 You'd be like, okay, I'll be by your house in 20 minutes.

02:31:05.000 You'd be out there waiting.

02:31:08.000 Meanwhile, I'm home sleeping.

02:31:10.000 Well, it is weird when you talk to like, you know, like you call up Apple or something like that and you have the automated assistant and they have the fake typewriter sounds like, oh, let me try.

02:31:19.000 I hate that.

02:31:20.000 It makes me mad.

02:31:22.000 It makes me mad.

02:31:23.000 Do they still do that?

02:31:24.000 Yeah.

02:31:24.000 Oh, yeah.

02:31:25.000 I heard it the other day.

02:31:26.000 Oh, my God.

02:31:26.000 That's so crazy.

02:31:28.000 Let me check.

02:31:29.000 Check.

02:31:30.000 I hate it.

02:31:30.000 That's right!

02:31:31.000 Why don't you just take that out and just be faster?

02:31:33.000 Let me hear some of that, Jamie.

02:31:34.000 Let me hear some of that fake typewriter sound.

02:31:40.000 That's hilarious.

02:31:41.000 I forgot they do that.

02:31:42.000 Yeah, Apple does that. 0.99

02:31:43.000 Ugh.

02:31:44.000 It's so clunky, too. 0.98

02:31:45.000 Sounds shitty. 0.88

02:31:47.000 I just wish Apple had more options. 0.83

02:31:50.000 You know, like, I get that they only want to have one phone, and a few different versions of it, rather.

02:31:56.000 You know, they have a small one, they have the big one, the middle-sized one.

02:32:08.000 This might not have a typewriter.

02:32:12.000 This is the sound of a scammer, a tax scammer.

02:32:16.000 But what Brian said was that when you call Apple, they would have a fake typewriter sound in the background.

02:32:23.000 But I did get scammed by that tax scammer.

02:32:25.000 You got scammed by that guy?

02:32:26.000 That was the one I was talking about earlier.

02:32:28.000 That's hilarious.

02:32:29.000 But they didn't really get you.

02:32:30.000 No, I knew right away.

02:32:31.000 You got knocked on.

02:32:32.000 I did tell my accountant.

02:32:33.000 He goes, yeah, they don't do that.

02:32:35.000 That's what I thought.

02:32:36.000 You need to contact me with your whereabouts right now.

02:32:43.000 Like, who's hearing that going, what?

02:32:45.000 What?

02:32:46.000 I gotta contact you.

02:32:47.000 Hold on.

02:32:48.000 Hang on.

02:32:48.000 I'm in Walmart right now.

02:32:49.000 Let me get to my car.

02:32:51.000 Hello?

02:32:51.000 I'm calling you back about the tax thing.

02:32:54.000 Oh, we are so lucky that you have contacted me at this moment for dangers in the air, sir.

02:33:03.000 Fake typewriter noise.

02:33:04.000 Did you see Chris Delia get in a war with those Logan guys?

02:33:08.000 I only know about it because of young Jamie.

02:33:11.000 Young Jamie informed me that it might have been one of the most epic verbal battles.

02:33:16.000 Chris is so funny, man.

02:33:18.000 He owned them so hard.

02:33:21.000 And to the point where, whatever the guy's name is, is like, oh, he's making fun of a young kid or something like that.

02:33:28.000 Like, he calls himself, like, a younger...

02:33:30.000 Or he calls him an old man.

02:33:32.000 Like, this old man making fun of a young whippersnapper.

02:33:35.000 Yeah, young people always like to point that out, that you're older.

02:33:39.000 Yeah, they think it's...

02:33:40.000 It's hilarious.

02:33:40.000 Because they're so terrified of getting old.

02:33:42.000 Yeah.

02:33:43.000 Like, everybody is.

02:33:44.000 So, like, there's this thing where someone will make fun of you.

02:33:46.000 Yeah, look at you, bro.

02:33:48.000 Look at you, bro. 1.00

02:33:48.000 You're fucking 36 years old. 1.00

02:33:51.000 Yeah? 1.00

02:33:52.000 What does that mean?

02:33:54.000 It's almost over, bro.

02:33:57.000 659,000 likes.

02:33:58.000 He said, at least when my career dies, you can film it and put it on YouTube.

02:34:03.000 Remember the suicide force?

02:34:05.000 And then why does Logan Paul...

02:34:06.000 He's responding to his...

02:34:08.000 Oh, I'm laughing because now I know why your comedy career took a dive.

02:34:14.000 Oh, Jesus, did he get owned.

02:34:17.000 And so then Chris says to him that.

02:34:19.000 Yeah.

02:34:19.000 At least when my career dies, you can film it and put it on YouTube.

02:34:22.000 That is 658,000 likes?

02:34:25.000 Yeah, more than Trump.

02:34:27.000 Any tweet Trump's ever had.

02:34:31.000 Chris D'Elia, you need to run for president.

02:34:34.000 You know how strong that is?

02:34:36.000 You know how strong that response is?

02:34:39.000 That's like the strongest response I've ever seen.

02:34:42.000 This is Logan's response to that.

02:34:44.000 Say, but not going to lie, this single tweet is funny than your entire Netflix special.

02:34:49.000 Thanks.

02:34:49.000 How does it feel to have your name finally attached to something funny?

02:34:58.000 Oh my god.

02:35:00.000 Oh my god.

02:35:01.000 I don't know what's worse, being the shunned vlogger or being the 38 year old comedian arguing with the shunned vlogger on Twitter.

02:35:09.000 Ask your fans to have their moms read this tweet out loud to them.

02:35:13.000 See what they think.

02:35:18.000 Oh my God, that's good.

02:35:20.000 Oh my God.

02:35:21.000 Chris is the greatest.

02:35:22.000 Oh my God. 1.00

02:35:23.000 He's the wrong guy to fuck with. 1.00

02:35:24.000 He'll do this all day. 1.00

02:35:26.000 Old people roasting me. 1.00

02:35:28.000 Greatest thing on planet Earth.

02:35:31.000 How about this?

02:35:32.000 You're my son. 1.00

02:35:32.000 Tag your fucking daddy. 1.00

02:35:34.000 I'm your fucking daddy. 1.00

02:35:37.000 Oh, what's the thing that he deleted? 1.00

02:35:39.000 Oh, that's hilarious. 0.95

02:35:42.000 Damn powerful, Chris D'Elia. 0.99

02:35:43.000 Fucking love it. 0.99

02:35:44.000 Harden the paint. 0.97

02:35:48.000 Chris a funny dude, man.

02:35:49.000 Dude, his Instagram stories are some of my favorites. 0.89

02:35:52.000 Anything Chris does is pretty fucking funny. 0.87

02:35:56.000 So far you've called me daddy and admitted to watching my entire comedy special. 1.00

02:36:01.000 Are you trying to burn me or fuck me? 1.00

02:36:06.000 Okay, that's enough. 1.00

02:36:08.000 I get it.

02:36:10.000 He's hilarious.

02:36:11.000 I don't know why you would try to fight a professional comedian on Twitter.

02:36:14.000 Because he thinks he's a comedian. 1.00

02:36:15.000 Especially a guy like Chris who loves that kind of shit. 1.00

02:36:18.000 He loves that kind of stuff. 1.00

02:36:20.000 Who doesn't?

02:36:22.000 He's like an artist with that kind of stuff.

02:36:25.000 Perfectly not aggressive.

02:36:29.000 Everything about it is very smooth.

02:36:32.000 It's very good.

02:36:33.000 Yeah, it was like the old days.

02:36:35.000 It was very good.

02:36:36.000 Owning people on the internet.

02:36:38.000 That was a very good one, you know?

02:36:40.000 People are so weird.

02:36:42.000 They really are.

02:36:44.000 I'm just wondering what's going to be the next thing that people...

02:36:46.000 You know, like...

02:36:48.000 Instagram seems to be like a...

02:36:51.000 That's a platform people like.

02:36:53.000 They like pictures and text behind the pictures.

02:36:55.000 But what is going to be the next thing?

02:36:56.000 Is it going to be some sort of augmented thing?

02:36:59.000 Some virtual thing or some goggles thing?

02:37:01.000 It's going to be something.

02:37:03.000 It's going to be something in another space other than just your phone.

02:37:08.000 I really think that there's going to come a time where the same amount of time that people spend on social media, they're going to spend in some sort of an augmented state.

02:37:16.000 Like you'll be able to wear these things for work because they help you pull things up.

02:37:20.000 So people just accept, I have to have my goggles.

02:37:23.000 Like everybody wears goggles at a certain point in time because it's just so much cooler.

02:37:26.000 It adjusts for vision.

02:37:28.000 It gives you perfect vision.

02:37:29.000 That Black Mirror episode about the DVR, where everyone can record.

02:37:33.000 Yes.

02:37:34.000 I mean, so many other Black Mirror things have sort of been coming true.

02:37:37.000 That seems like the most realistic one that might happen, I think.

02:37:41.000 Recording memories?

02:37:42.000 Yeah, probably someday.

02:37:44.000 I think they're close.

02:37:45.000 I saw an article recently.

02:37:46.000 They're close to being able to either record your dreams and play them back for you or reinterpret them after you're awake.

02:37:54.000 But I think it's record them as you're sleeping and you can kind of find out what you were.

02:37:58.000 Maybe rewatch it or something.

02:37:59.000 I hope not. 1.00

02:38:00.000 What if that shit's in high def? 1.00

02:38:01.000 What if you're like falling off buildings in high def? 1.00

02:38:06.000 Demons are barking at you.

02:38:09.000 High def.

02:38:12.000 Do you ever out of nowhere just have a dream you're like embarrassed that you even thought that even though you had no control of it?

02:38:19.000 A lot of them.

02:38:20.000 Theoretically, recording dreams is possible.

02:38:23.000 Scientists are trying.

02:38:24.000 Discover Magazine from March 1st.

02:38:28.000 Of course it is.

02:38:29.000 They're just going to figure out how to get into the door.

02:38:32.000 Eventually, if people survive, they're going to have, with every generation, a greater and greater understanding of how to manipulate things around them.

02:38:42.000 That's what people strive for.

02:38:44.000 Strive for manipulating the environment, manipulating electrical currents, manipulating...

02:38:52.000 It's concrete, moving things around, shaping things.

02:38:55.000 We just keep getting better and better and better at it.

02:38:57.000 Of course we're gonna keep getting better and better at it technologically. 1.00

02:39:02.000 They're gonna have some crazy shit, man. 0.99

02:39:05.000 And we're gonna wonder why we did it. 0.98

02:39:08.000 We're gonna all be stuck in some strange, weird, matrix-like environment.

02:39:14.000 We already are.

02:39:15.000 It seems like it easily could be happening.

02:39:18.000 Not necessarily like right now, but on the way to that.

02:39:21.000 What's the logical conclusion?

02:39:23.000 Does anybody believe that people at this point are going to back up?

02:39:27.000 That they're going to go, hey, you know what?

02:39:30.000 This technology is just getting too much into our lives.

02:39:32.000 We went to a restaurant last night.

02:39:34.000 Dad was on his phone.

02:39:35.000 This kid's got a 12-inch iPad propped up in front of him.

02:39:38.000 The other kid on the other side of the table has a 12-inch iPad propped up in front of him.

02:39:43.000 And they're just watching three different things.

02:39:46.000 And no one's talking to each other.

02:39:47.000 And they're at a sushi joint.

02:39:49.000 Wow.

02:39:50.000 And you're like, wow.

02:39:51.000 This is what people do.

02:39:53.000 They get together, they put a show on in front of the kid, here you go, and they just, the entire time, not even like, the parents are done, they want to talk, and can I use your phone?

02:40:03.000 Yeah, here, go ahead, use my phone, play a game.

02:40:05.000 The kid's playing the game, somebody's talking to somebody.

02:40:07.000 No, nobody's talking to anybody.

02:40:10.000 Everybody's looking at an electronic device.

02:40:12.000 You go to a public place, and they sit down, and they're not interacting with each other.

02:40:16.000 It is super normal, man.

02:40:18.000 If you look around, it's super normal.

02:40:20.000 Super normal.

02:40:21.000 Weird.

02:40:22.000 Weird.

02:40:22.000 We're going to wonder about that in a few years.

02:40:24.000 We're going to wonder, how do they let that in?

02:40:28.000 I was watching these little kids.

02:40:29.000 I was like, okay, I don't want to be a judgy parent.

02:40:33.000 I'm just looking at it like a human.

02:40:35.000 How much less time are they spending talking to people now?

02:40:40.000 How many less awkward moments at the dinner table where you had to work out just controlling your temper or controlling your emotions or controlling the way you interact with people or trying to be nicer about some of the ways you say things and learning to get...

02:40:55.000 The only way people learn about that stuff is at a dinner table, right?

02:40:58.000 Talking to each other.

02:40:59.000 That's part of like...

02:41:01.000 How people learn to communicate with each other, sitting down at dinner, right?

02:41:05.000 All of a sudden everybody's like watching a screen.

02:41:07.000 How much less time are we spending talking?

02:41:11.000 Like how much shittier are people going to be if they continue doing that at talking to real people?

02:41:18.000 And is that an issue?

02:41:22.000 I think people don't have as strong as compassion with each other.

02:41:27.000 As much compassion.

02:41:28.000 As much compassion and value human life.

02:41:31.000 That's why there's more school shooters and the realness of it is kind of getting faded.

02:41:38.000 Death is way more in your eyes nowadays as a kid than it was when we were young.

02:41:44.000 We were just playing with frogs and playing cops and robbers.

02:41:49.000 We didn't have internet to see death.

02:41:51.000 We didn't have TV. It wasn't about death at the time.

02:41:54.000 It's a good point.

02:41:55.000 Video games is all death.

02:41:58.000 I mean, you have lives in video games.

02:42:00.000 You have lives when you were a kid.

02:42:03.000 Only cats had that.

02:42:05.000 That's a good point, man.

02:42:06.000 I mean, especially how much you can see on the internet. 0.99

02:42:09.000 The amount of horrible shit that people see on a daily basis on the internet. 0.99

02:42:14.000 Like, people will tell me, hey, you want to see this video? 1.00

02:42:16.000 I'm like, no.

02:42:17.000 I've seen enough.

02:42:18.000 I know what people are capable of.

02:42:20.000 I'm good.

02:42:21.000 Some people not, though. 1.00

02:42:22.000 Some people all day watching fucked up shit. 1.00

02:42:26.000 Didn't that start with cable, though? 1.00

02:42:28.000 Do you remember how it started with cable?

02:42:30.000 I wasn't old enough.

02:42:31.000 It did sort of, but it really started with videotape. 0.98

02:42:35.000 Like faces of death and shit like that. 0.97

02:42:37.000 You started seeing... 0.98

02:42:38.000 Yeah, it was faces of death.

02:42:39.000 I remember a video a friend of mine sent me.

02:42:41.000 It was a girl walking towards a train and she's not paying attention.

02:42:45.000 And she gets nailed by the train. 0.99

02:42:47.000 And it's fucking horrific, man. 0.99

02:42:49.000 She just gets torn apart. 0.99

02:42:51.000 You watch it and you're like, oh my god.

02:42:53.000 Oh my god, it's hard to watch.

02:42:55.000 I used to always talk about this, but what was it?

02:42:57.000 It was definitely Faces of Death, and it was definitely UFC 1, 2, and 3. You know, like, the early days of UFC, seeing mix-matched, like, people go at it, and just the brutal KOs, you know, and there was no rules back then.

02:43:09.000 It was just, like, death.

02:43:11.000 Yeah, there wasn't very many rules.

02:43:13.000 Like, you couldn't eye gouge, but you could punch in the nuts.

02:43:15.000 Right.

02:43:16.000 And you never saw that before.

02:43:17.000 Like, it was boxing on TV. It was never like, oh my god, these guys are fighting, like, dirty.

02:43:22.000 Yep.

02:43:23.000 Dirty fighting. 1.00

02:43:24.000 And pulling hair and nut punching and shit. 1.00

02:43:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:43:29.000 Yeah, I think that's probably true, too.

02:43:32.000 I think our appetite for stimulation is increasing.

02:43:35.000 That's what I think, for real.

02:43:36.000 I think that's why people like so many thrilling things.

02:43:39.000 I think we're developing a stronger and stronger appetite for stimulation.

02:43:42.000 That's what I think it is, dude.

02:43:44.000 And I think the internet and, you know, just so many different things you could see, like, how was it that we can, like, instantaneously pull up video of a volcano eating a car?

02:43:56.000 I mean, what?

02:43:57.000 How many people are supposed to see that? 1.00

02:43:59.000 Like, you're not supposed to see that shit all day from all over the world. 1.00

02:44:03.000 You're not supposed to see all these different volcano eruptions and different shootings and cars running over people in Times Square and all that crazy shit. 0.99

02:44:11.000 Yeah, if you lived in Kansas, lava shouldn't really be worrying you. 1.00

02:44:14.000 Yeah, it should be on your list of shit. 0.99

02:44:15.000 You got a small amount of things to think about in front of you. 1.00

02:44:18.000 You could look forever at each direction.

02:44:21.000 Everything's flat.

02:44:22.000 You shouldn't be worried about lava. 0.99

02:44:24.000 You wish you should have some fucking lava to mix things up. 0.99

02:44:30.000 That's gotta be a weird place to be, man, when you're watching that earth crack open and you realize how thin the crust is between you and the most insane shit ever. 0.99

02:44:39.000 Rivers of hot, molten rock right under the surface of the ground you're walking on. 0.95

02:44:47.000 Like, what?

02:44:48.000 How much is down there?

02:44:50.000 Why did we camp out here?

02:44:53.000 I get paranoid.

02:44:54.000 It's still at earthquakes.

02:44:55.000 I was in the belly room of the Comedy Store the other day, packed, right?

02:44:59.000 And if it was just like the big earthquake, then we would all be dead.

02:45:02.000 It was too many people.

02:45:03.000 There would be no escape.

02:45:04.000 This whole place would be, you know what I mean?

02:45:05.000 But I got that in my head.

02:45:06.000 I'm like, okay, I gotta get out of here.

02:45:08.000 It's a terrible thing to think of, but if you're in a building and it starts collapsing.

02:45:12.000 Or any parking garage.

02:45:13.000 Living here in L.A., you go to this old parking garage, this downtown, and you're like, I'm gonna be a sandwich or something.

02:45:19.000 Yeah, man.

02:45:20.000 I came to LA right after the first earthquake.

02:45:23.000 Not the first one, obviously, but the big one.

02:45:26.000 The last big one.

02:45:28.000 And then there was some small ones after that.

02:45:32.000 I think one of the biggest ones was San Francisco.

02:45:37.000 I think San Francisco was during the World Series.

02:45:39.000 It was a really big one, right?

02:45:41.000 How big was that one?

02:45:44.000 Was it going on during a game?

02:45:46.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:45:46.000 I want to see that.

02:45:47.000 In the middle of the game, the fucking world started to end. 0.99

02:45:50.000 Oh, that would be cool footage. 0.98

02:45:51.000 San Francisco gets a lot of them.

02:45:53.000 The 6.9 is the same as the one in Hawaii.

02:45:55.000 Wow.

02:45:57.000 What's the coincidence of that, huh?

02:46:00.000 Wow. 1.00

02:46:01.000 That's some powerful shit, man. 1.00

02:46:04.000 Just to me, it's a... 1.00

02:46:10.000 It's a thing that we all know to be true, but you don't think about it until it happens.

02:46:15.000 We all know that the Earth's mantle shifts and moves.

02:46:19.000 We know that it happens.

02:46:21.000 We know that earthquakes happen.

02:46:22.000 We know that volcanoes happen.

02:46:24.000 But even so, it's still...

02:46:27.000 So when is the earthquake hit?

02:46:47.000 It's like a scene in a movie. 0.99

02:46:51.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:46:56.000 Wow. 1.00

02:46:58.000 That's just one of those things, you know?

02:47:01.000 We think of it like, yeah, yeah, earthquakes are real.

02:47:04.000 But until it actually happens.

02:47:06.000 That's scary.

02:47:07.000 That's kind of scary.

02:47:08.000 You felt a good one, right?

02:47:10.000 You felt a little bit of a tremor.

02:47:11.000 Yeah.

02:47:11.000 It seems like it used to be way more when I first moved here.

02:47:15.000 I almost feel one once a month for a while.

02:47:19.000 I haven't felt one in a long time.

02:47:21.000 It's on tape right here, right?

02:47:23.000 What is?

02:47:24.000 Red Band's feeling the earthquake.

02:47:25.000 Oh, yeah.

02:47:26.000 This is probably the biggest one I remember.

02:47:29.000 On the air?

02:47:29.000 Yeah.

02:47:31.000 That's a Death Squad studio.

02:47:36.000 It's frozen.

02:47:40.000 This happened to me before recently, too.

02:47:42.000 There it goes.

02:47:45.000 I started thinking about...

02:47:48.000 It's frozen.

02:47:53.000 Is it YouTube's fault?

02:47:54.000 Yeah.

02:47:55.000 It's playing on my computer.

02:47:56.000 Oh, is it?

02:47:57.000 Oh, is it the machine?

02:47:58.000 The Tricaster thing?

02:48:01.000 Oh, yeah, that freaked me out because we had the studio at the Ice House and I kept on thinking about the ceiling just caving in because that's like an old building. 0.65

02:48:10.000 Yeah, and I freaked the fuck out.

02:48:13.000 That was scary.

02:48:14.000 I think they did something to make it earthquake compliant, though.

02:48:18.000 I hope I'm right about this.

02:48:20.000 Do you know how you walk through that courtyard area?

02:48:22.000 There's bolts.

02:48:24.000 They put all that stuff, apparently, to reinforce it from earthquakes. 0.52

02:48:28.000 Yeah, I mean, the walls or something, it might fix, but the ceiling will just fucking fall right through.

02:48:34.000 I mean, it leaks.

02:48:36.000 It's already half falling in.

02:48:37.000 That building's from, like, what?

02:48:39.000 1950-something?

02:48:41.000 I probably said earlier than that.

02:48:43.000 I mean, that thing's crazy old.

02:48:45.000 Right.

02:48:46.000 I think it's been in operation as a nightclub since the 60s.

02:48:50.000 I think it started out as an actual ice house way earlier than that.

02:48:53.000 So it opened in 1960. 1960?

02:48:56.000 It opened the ice house.

02:48:57.000 But what was it before in that building?

02:49:00.000 I'm pretty sure in that building it was an actual ice house, which is why they decided to call it the ice house.

02:49:05.000 You know, Sean doesn't work there anymore.

02:49:07.000 Yeah, I know. 0.68

02:49:08.000 That sucks. 0.93

02:49:09.000 20 years. 0.92

02:49:09.000 He's an awesome guy. 0.92

02:49:11.000 That place is so sweet.

02:49:13.000 Well, where'd he go?

02:49:15.000 I'm not sure.

02:49:16.000 I haven't talked to him.

02:49:19.000 He's a massage therapist now.

02:49:21.000 Hey! 0.99

02:49:21.000 He's doing that butthole thing. 0.99

02:49:23.000 He does it better than anybody. 0.92

02:49:24.000 At first it feels weird because you know him.

02:49:26.000 Yeah, but he does that thing with the air.

02:49:28.000 He blows it in there.

02:49:29.000 Oh, I don't think that's not FDA approved.

02:49:34.000 Could you imagine what this was?

02:49:36.000 Is that RubMaps still a thing?

02:49:39.000 It's so funny.

02:49:42.000 I know this.

02:49:43.000 When Backpage went down, RubMaps kind of freaked out for like a week and said, like, hey, you know, we're not open right now.

02:49:51.000 Nothing's working.

02:49:51.000 You won't be charged this month.

02:49:55.000 But then a couple weeks later, it was always working, too.

02:50:00.000 It just had this weird notice before it.

02:50:02.000 Well, I wonder how people feel, you know, that are in that business.

02:50:08.000 Like those back page companies and all those companies that are, you know, those, it's like classifieds, right?

02:50:16.000 Right.

02:50:16.000 So they have to pay to be in the classifieds, is that how it works?

02:50:19.000 Yeah.

02:50:19.000 So they lose all that business, all of it.

02:50:21.000 It's like a non-viable business anymore.

02:50:23.000 Right.

02:50:23.000 Well, Rub Maps was good because it was like Yelp, you know, for massage parts.

02:50:28.000 And so if you wanted to go...

02:50:31.000 I use it for the opposite reason now, where like the other day I wanted a real massage and I checked to make sure that that wasn't a rub-and-tub place.

02:50:38.000 Right.

02:50:39.000 Because they're all rub-and-tub places here in Los Angeles.

02:50:42.000 Like it's hard to find one that's not now.

02:50:43.000 And sometimes you just don't want that.

02:50:45.000 You want a real massage.

02:50:46.000 I guess what I said doesn't make sense though because it's illegal activity.

02:50:50.000 So as long as it's illegal activity, of course they have to take it down.

02:50:53.000 No.

02:50:54.000 Don't they?

02:50:55.000 Not really.

02:50:55.000 What are they supposed to do?

02:50:56.000 Freedom of speech and shit. 0.99

02:50:58.000 Like, you're allowed to talk about cocaine. 0.97

02:51:00.000 You're not going to get, like, your website taken down, and that's crazy legal, right?

02:51:04.000 That's not even what I mean.

02:51:05.000 I mean, I don't think that...

02:51:08.000 I feel like if you're a person who is making this decision in, like, 2018, you're saying, you know what?

02:51:15.000 We've got to crack down on prostitution. 1.00

02:51:17.000 We've got to figure out a way to put a stop to this.

02:51:23.000 What are you wasting your time doing that for?

02:51:25.000 Don't we have other really big issues that we have a hard time finding enough people to tackle?

02:51:30.000 The biggest problem is sex trafficking.

02:51:32.000 That's the real reason there's too much traffic.

02:51:35.000 Yeah, that's a big one.

02:51:39.000 Just, when everything's unregulated, right?

02:51:43.000 Anything that's unregulated, you're always going to find someone who fills that gap who's a criminal.

02:51:48.000 Anything that's illegal, that people want, you know, whether it's drugs, anything.

02:51:54.000 It's really hard to tell people what they can and can't do.

02:51:57.000 It's really hard.

02:51:59.000 It doesn't seem to make any sense.

02:52:00.000 You shouldn't be able to, as long as no one's getting hurt.

02:52:02.000 You know, like, what if someone decides, hey man, we looked at this furry thing and you guys are just too weird.

02:52:08.000 You can't do this anymore. 0.97

02:52:10.000 You can't just dress up like mascots and have sex with each other and eat out of dog food bowls. 0.99

02:52:15.000 You can't do that anymore. 0.98

02:52:16.000 That's what they do!

02:52:17.000 These people, they're having a party as furries.

02:52:20.000 What if someone comes along and says, you can't do that anymore?

02:52:22.000 It's too weird.

02:52:25.000 Alright, then fine.

02:52:27.000 I mean...

02:52:28.000 I just think it's weird where people just can decide what other people can and can't do. 0.99

02:52:36.000 Especially when it comes to something as ridiculous as sex. 0.97

02:52:42.000 Touching is the thing that makes no sense. 0.99

02:52:44.000 Uh-huh.

02:52:45.000 Like, hand jobs should not be illegal.

02:52:47.000 No, definitely not. 1.00

02:52:48.000 Like, you're allowed to touch my arm, but you can't touch my dick. 1.00

02:52:51.000 It's gonna be real weird when robots are fuckable. 1.00

02:52:54.000 Like, really weird. 0.99

02:52:56.000 When they're really fuckable, like they're hot. 0.98

02:53:00.000 You know, they're hot and it feels good. 1.00

02:53:03.000 What if someone raped a robot?

02:53:05.000 Is it gonna have rights?

02:53:05.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:53:06.000 It's gonna kill you, bro. 0.99

02:53:07.000 They don't need to sleep. 1.00

02:53:09.000 That chick's gonna wait until you're sleeping and she's gonna fucking elbow your eye sockets right through. 1.00

02:53:14.000 A guy got arrested for fucking a car recently or something like that. 0.99

02:53:17.000 Yeah, I didn't hear about that. 0.97

02:53:19.000 I think it's a matter of time before they develop an AI in a physical body that so closely resembles a human body that you could turn the lights down, light a candle.

02:53:31.000 Those new ones?

02:53:31.000 It should be like the hottest girl in the world.

02:53:33.000 You've seen the new ones, right? 0.89

02:53:34.000 The new sex robots?

02:53:35.000 The new sex robots, the ones I think they make them in San Diego.

02:53:37.000 I think it's the same guy that made the real doll.

02:53:40.000 But he has that new AI and the new bodies.

02:53:43.000 You can order it now, I think.

02:53:45.000 Pre-order it now.

02:53:47.000 They had a video of it, and the AI is pretty legit.

02:53:51.000 And it's not bad.

02:53:53.000 It talks to you.

02:53:54.000 It remembers you.

02:53:55.000 You can pick the face.

02:53:56.000 You can design what you want it to look like.

02:53:59.000 Dude, it's a matter of time.

02:54:01.000 It is a matter of time.

02:54:02.000 I know a comedian, you know Fleshlight, remember Fleshlight?

02:54:06.000 I guess they make these motorized Fleshlights now. 0.99

02:54:09.000 It kind of just strokes you while you're fucking... 1.00

02:54:12.000 So my friend, a comedian we know, I won't say who it is, but he injured his dick hole from it. 1.00

02:54:19.000 It went too hard in the pain of his dick hole? 0.99

02:54:21.000 It went too hard and he had to go to the doctor and tell the doctor. 1.00

02:54:24.000 Oh my god, that's awful.

02:54:26.000 That's a terrible story.

02:54:27.000 Yeah.

02:54:28.000 Jesus Christ, dude.

02:54:30.000 That's a terrible story.

02:54:31.000 I got a flashlight the other day.

02:54:33.000 I haven't used one in a while.

02:54:34.000 Do you still use yours?

02:54:37.000 Alright, I think this podcast is basically over.

02:54:39.000 Brian just hit the wall.

02:54:42.000 It's been a while.

02:54:43.000 We're like three hours in, too.

02:54:45.000 No, I don't use it anymore.

02:54:47.000 I always felt so much more shame using it than I did just using my hand.

02:54:52.000 But it does feel better.

02:54:54.000 Way better.

02:54:54.000 It does.

02:54:56.000 That's legit.

02:54:56.000 Those travel ones are nice.

02:54:57.000 You shoot through, so you don't even have to clean it up anymore.

02:55:00.000 You just shoot through it.

02:55:02.000 He didn't make this homemade one.

02:55:03.000 What is this? 0.99

02:55:04.000 A guy made a homemade dick sucker? 1.00

02:55:06.000 Jesus Christ, this looks terrible. 1.00

02:55:07.000 He's got metal and PVC pipe and shit. 0.99

02:55:11.000 The end of the pipe is cut at 45 degrees. 0.99

02:55:13.000 Fleshlight, PVC pipe. 0.99

02:55:15.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

02:55:16.000 It's got like a little kid's toy train. 1.00

02:55:18.000 It's going to choo-choo right onto his dick. 1.00

02:55:20.000 It's got a lot of views, too. 1.00

02:55:22.000 Look at it.

02:55:22.000 Nylon nuts, bolts, washers, aluminum.

02:55:24.000 Plywood.

02:55:25.000 Plywood.

02:55:26.000 12-volt power supply.

02:55:27.000 This one has 150,000.

02:55:29.000 Oh, my God.

02:55:29.000 Get out of that.

02:55:31.000 Cock-sucking machine. 0.99

02:55:32.000 It's such a bad idea. 0.99

02:55:33.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

02:55:34.000 Cock-sucking machine. 1.00

02:55:35.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

02:55:35.000 Wait, can he change this? 0.99

02:55:36.000 That is hilarious.

02:55:38.000 So it's gonna slowly but...

02:55:40.000 Oh, he can control the pace that it blows him.

02:55:43.000 Proof of concept.

02:55:44.000 Proof of concept.

02:55:45.000 Yeah, whatever, bro.

02:55:47.000 Type in the flesh one, motorized fleshlight.

02:55:50.000 That's what I did.

02:55:51.000 That's how I got this one.

02:55:52.000 Well, listen.

02:55:54.000 I think we can wrap this up safely.

02:55:57.000 I missed the list.

02:55:58.000 These are strange days.

02:56:02.000 I think we learned a lot today. 1.00

02:56:04.000 I did not know that you could make a fucking phone call with an artificial intelligence thing that could say, um, and would make appointments for you and shit. 0.99

02:56:13.000 Yeah, we all learned that today. 1.00

02:56:14.000 That scared the shit out of me. 0.99

02:56:15.000 I didn't know about these choo-choo train, fake vagina contraptions that these kids are hacking, these wacky kids. 1.00

02:56:24.000 YouTubers. 0.92

02:56:25.000 I learned that.

02:56:26.000 I'm...

02:56:27.000 I am...

02:56:29.000 Very confused when it comes to the future.

02:56:31.000 This stuff is...

02:56:32.000 I think this is all happening in front of us.

02:56:35.000 I think it's insanely crazy and insanely transformative and it's happening. 0.93

02:56:41.000 We don't have a fucking clue as to where it's going and there's nothing we can do about it. 0.89

02:56:44.000 So we're all like, well, it is what it is. 0.99

02:56:48.000 I think it's nuts. 0.99

02:56:51.000 I think we're 20 years from the fucking Matrix, and we're seeing it happen. 0.99

02:56:56.000 We're seeing it happen right now in front of us. 0.98

02:56:58.000 We're seeing the little baby steps.

02:56:59.000 Like, nah, nah, we're so far off.

02:57:01.000 Yeah, I went to that whole thing the other day.

02:57:03.000 It was nothing.

02:57:04.000 Went to the conference.

02:57:05.000 Nah, nothing impressed me.

02:57:06.000 Would you rather find out that we're about to be in it or that we've been in it the whole time?

02:57:10.000 Which would make you more comfortable?

02:57:12.000 That's a very good question. 0.99

02:57:14.000 Damn, that's a good question. 0.97

02:57:16.000 What do you think? 0.99

02:57:17.000 I think we're already in it, so I'll choose that one.

02:57:22.000 Well... 0.99

02:57:23.000 Gun to the head. 0.99

02:57:24.000 What would you do? 0.93

02:57:25.000 I think the reality itself is obviously some sort of weird thing because you're looking at it.

02:57:32.000 You're looking at it through your eyes.

02:57:34.000 Your eyes are determining the positions that things are in and what they look like and where things are.

02:57:40.000 And there's all these things that are going on around you all the time that you have no control of and they're everywhere, all over the planet, people living lives.

02:57:46.000 And you interface with those lives occasionally.

02:57:49.000 You're just accustomed to the manner in which you do it.

02:57:51.000 So it seems normal. 0.94

02:57:53.000 But every night you close your eyes and you go uncomfortable Unconscious and who knows what the fuck happens to your brain and then you wake up in the morning you have to pee and you're struggling to try to figure out what happened yesterday and then while this is happening your ex-girlfriend's fucking your best friend from high school and they got together and you know it's like can't believe Jamie left I mean he said he was gonna stay forever and the next thing you know All these lives intersect with each other all over the world. 0.95

02:58:17.000 It is kind of a hologram.

02:58:19.000 It's kind of a crazy...

02:58:21.000 If real life wasn't real, it would be super interesting.

02:58:27.000 You'd be like, look at the way life works.

02:58:29.000 Look at the way...

02:58:30.000 They breathe in air and breathe out carbon dioxide, and the trees breathe into carbon dioxide and breathe out air, but they keep chopping down the trees.

02:58:39.000 They keep chopping down the trees.

02:58:41.000 They don't care.

02:58:41.000 They're like, who cares?

02:58:42.000 I want paper. 1.00

02:58:43.000 I want to wipe my ass with a tree. 1.00

02:58:45.000 They just wipe their ass with trees. 1.00

02:58:46.000 Literally, they grind millions of trees down every year and turn into pulp so they can make paper to wipe their ass. 1.00

02:58:54.000 They literally wipe their ass with nature. 1.00

02:58:57.000 Why don't they just use soap and water? 1.00

02:58:59.000 No.

02:59:00.000 No.

02:59:01.000 I want a tree. 1.00

02:59:02.000 I want some pulverized tree to wipe my ass with. 0.99

02:59:05.000 Tissue paper. 0.99

02:59:06.000 It's tissue paper. 1.00

02:59:08.000 It's fucking trees. 1.00

02:59:11.000 Is tissue paper really made out of trees? 1.00

02:59:13.000 Mm-hmm.

02:59:14.000 100%?

02:59:15.000 Yeah.

02:59:16.000 Synthetic tissue paper that's made out of like dolphin tears?

02:59:19.000 Something even worse?

02:59:21.000 What's like synthetic toilet paper?

02:59:23.000 Is that real?

02:59:25.000 I mean, look, they have tofu chicken, right?

02:59:29.000 You don't think they have some sort of an organic...

02:59:31.000 They can make plastic out of it, I think.

02:59:33.000 I've seen right out of soy.

02:59:35.000 Do they make hemp toilet paper, and would it be too rough?

02:59:39.000 Maybe it'd be the best thing ever.

02:59:40.000 Tree-free bathroom tissue.

02:59:42.000 Hemp toilet paper does not sound good.

02:59:43.000 Oh, someone's doing it?

02:59:44.000 Someone's putting it together?

02:59:46.000 Is it a start-up?

02:59:48.000 Is it vegan?

02:59:49.000 Dude, I was reading all the people that invested hundreds of millions of dollars into that scam blood test company.

02:59:59.000 That blood test company story is crazy.

03:00:03.000 Theranos.

03:00:04.000 There was this woman and they were calling her like the next Steve Jobs.

03:00:09.000 The female Steve Jobs. 0.99

03:00:11.000 She even dressed like him.

03:00:12.000 She wore black turtlenecks.

03:00:13.000 Really?

03:00:14.000 Yeah.

03:00:14.000 And she had become this self-made person.

03:00:18.000 I think from college started this company.

03:00:20.000 And then by the time she was like 40, whatever she was, when they...

03:00:44.000 Busted her. 1.00

03:00:45.000 Yeah.

03:00:46.000 In this company. 1.00

03:00:47.000 That was bullshit. 0.99

03:00:50.000 So they put these people's health at risk because they gave them these tests and the test didn't work. 0.99

03:00:54.000 And they're showing that they kind of knew the test didn't work.

03:00:57.000 But this is how this woman dressed all the time. 1.00

03:01:01.000 It's really interesting, man.

03:01:03.000 It's a really interesting story.

03:01:04.000 Because when you see the amount of money that people invested into it, and then they're just shit out of luck.

03:01:10.000 She went from being worth, I think she was worth something crazy. 0.97

03:01:13.000 Like, the richest woman ever.

03:01:15.000 Or the richest self-made woman ever. 0.98

03:01:18.000 Something along those lines.

03:01:19.000 I think she was worth like $34 billion at one point.

03:01:23.000 Oh, she has a Twitter account.

03:01:25.000 Yeah, and then she's recently been charged with massive fraud. 0.99

03:01:28.000 I don't know. 0.96

03:01:29.000 I mean, I don't know shit about that business. 0.95

03:01:32.000 So I don't know if the blood test did or didn't work or if she's got a story that needs to be told. 0.98

03:01:37.000 And I don't know.

03:01:39.000 You just read what you read. 0.99

03:01:40.000 And what you read is that they've fibbed about results and they did some shit that they shouldn't have done. 0.97

03:01:47.000 And all these people got tests and they thought they were... 0.91

03:01:50.000 You know, if you get a blood test, you think you're getting the accurate results from a reputable company, and it wasn't.

03:01:55.000 It was a micro click, like they would take like a micro prick of blood, and they would take that blood and they would measure it, and that's how they would find whether you had diseases or not.

03:02:03.000 Yeah, I use that one all the time.

03:02:05.000 Richest self-made woman worth four and a half billion.

03:02:08.000 Okay, so why did I say 34?

03:02:09.000 That's not even real.

03:02:11.000 Who has that much?

03:02:12.000 Like three guys?

03:02:13.000 Zuckerberg, yeah, a couple other people.

03:02:14.000 Okay.

03:02:14.000 So she's worth four billion.

03:02:16.000 That's still nothing to sneeze at.

03:02:17.000 It's like a two bedroom apartment.

03:02:18.000 I remember a four.

03:02:20.000 I see a four.

03:02:21.000 Is it your father?

03:02:22.000 Who is it in the past?

03:02:26.000 So this thing, this story when it came out that all these people had invested hundreds of millions of dollars into it, it made me think, like, can you imagine how long it takes to make a hundred million dollars? 0.91

03:02:39.000 To have a hundred million dollars to invest in something that's bullshit? 0.99

03:02:44.000 Can you imagine, like, what it must feel to find out that that shit didn't work? 1.00

03:02:48.000 You're like, what? 1.00

03:02:50.000 Like, yeah, you invested in a scam. 1.00

03:02:52.000 It's all bullshit. 1.00

03:02:54.000 What? 1.00

03:02:54.000 Yeah, they're being charged with massive fraud. 1.00

03:02:56.000 No!

03:02:57.000 No!

03:02:58.000 Yeah, your hundred million dollars is gone.

03:03:01.000 What? 0.99

03:03:02.000 What the fuck did you just say? 1.00

03:03:04.000 Your hundred million dollars is gone. 1.00

03:03:07.000 They just got arrested.

03:03:09.000 She got charged with massive fraud.

03:03:11.000 What?

03:03:13.000 So she's in prison? 0.96

03:03:14.000 It's happening in the crypto market with ICO's initial coin offerings, what it's called.

03:03:19.000 People will make some sort of pitch and pitch people that their new startup is worth it.

03:03:24.000 And instead of taking investor money, they take cryptocurrency, if you will.

03:03:28.000 And then after they gain a bunch, they just disappear.

03:03:31.000 It happens almost every week now.

03:03:34.000 Exit scammers run off with $660 million in ICO earnings.

03:03:39.000 See, this is like what you were saying about the Nigerian people getting online and them not knowing certain scams. 0.85

03:03:46.000 It's like scammers find a way in every system.

03:03:50.000 There's not tons of scams out there.

03:03:51.000 They're just getting repurposed.

03:03:54.000 They're just another trick.

03:03:55.000 They just put a little twist on it, change the name, and it's a new scam.

03:03:58.000 It's all the same scams.

03:03:59.000 Actually, you want to know my postal scam?

03:04:02.000 Postal?

03:04:02.000 Yeah.

03:04:03.000 I've actually never done this, but it's like where you...

03:04:06.000 Are you going to get arrested for what you're about to say?

03:04:08.000 Well, I don't know.

03:04:09.000 Let's be careful here.

03:04:10.000 Okay.

03:04:10.000 Well, I've never done it.

03:04:11.000 The post office are pit bulls.

03:04:12.000 Ask Lance Armstrong. 1.00

03:04:13.000 Those motherfuckers come down on you. 1.00

03:04:15.000 I've never done it, but this is something that I think somebody told me they used to do in college. 1.00

03:04:20.000 I don't know.

03:04:21.000 I don't even know if it really works.

03:04:23.000 But like I said, I wanted to send you a letter.

03:04:26.000 I would put you as the...

03:04:29.000 Return address.

03:04:30.000 Yeah, just switch return address and the send address.

03:04:32.000 Throw it in one of those blue mailboxes.

03:04:33.000 Hey, they'll go, hey, no stamp.

03:04:35.000 Return the sender.

03:04:36.000 Now I send you that letter.

03:04:39.000 Okay.

03:04:41.000 They probably know that one already.

03:04:42.000 Yeah, they probably do.

03:04:43.000 You can only do that with a letter, though, probably.

03:04:45.000 Yeah.

03:04:45.000 Yeah, they're probably like, what?

03:04:47.000 How'd it get all the way over here?

03:05:00.000 Yeah, they're smarter than you, bro.

03:05:03.000 That was like a hippie scam. 0.98

03:05:06.000 So, let's be scared together.

03:05:08.000 Let's wrap this up.

03:05:09.000 We should be scared of technology.

03:05:11.000 Agreed?

03:05:12.000 Agreed?

03:05:13.000 This is getting out of hand.

03:05:13.000 Agreed?

03:05:14.000 It's on its way.

03:05:16.000 I definitely know I'm under the influence of marijuana.

03:05:19.000 It's also fun.

03:05:19.000 It's also very fun, technology.

03:05:21.000 It's very fun.

03:05:22.000 It allows us to do this show.

03:05:24.000 Oh, yeah.

03:05:24.000 I'm not anti-technology.

03:05:26.000 I'm not even anti where this is going.

03:05:28.000 I'm just like, oh my god, there's a waterfall coming up, guys.

03:05:32.000 We're on a raft.

03:05:33.000 There's a waterfall coming up.

03:05:34.000 You tell me it's okay?

03:05:36.000 You can go over the waterfall?

03:05:37.000 Okay.

03:05:38.000 Okay.

03:05:39.000 Depends if we need protection.

03:05:40.000 I don't know if we're going over this waterfall if we're going to make it.

03:05:44.000 We'll be fine. 1.00

03:05:45.000 Robot fuck dolls. 1.00

03:05:46.000 They're coming. 1.00

03:05:47.000 They're going to take over your life.

03:05:49.000 All right, Brian.

03:05:52.000 What do you got coming up?

03:05:53.000 Shows?

03:05:54.000 Tonight, improv with Pablo Francisco and Adam Devine. 1.00

03:05:56.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

03:05:57.000 Pablo's in the house. 1.00

03:05:58.000 Tell him what's up.

03:06:00.000 This weekend, me and Tony are taking Kill Tony to Vegas.

03:06:03.000 We'll be in Vegas.

03:06:04.000 Which club?

03:06:06.000 We're playing this place called the Dive Bar, which is, I guess, seats like 200 people.

03:06:10.000 It's like an old bar that's been there forever.

03:06:11.000 Nice.

03:06:13.000 There's still tickets to that.

03:06:14.000 San Francisco is sold out.

03:06:15.000 And then we're going to be in Detroit with Danny Brown.

03:06:17.000 He's going to be on Kill Tony with us.

03:06:19.000 And Texas.

03:06:20.000 And we're all over the place.

03:06:21.000 DustSquad.tv.

03:06:22.000 Click on tour dates.

03:06:24.000 Excellent.

03:06:25.000 And if you're looking for a...

03:06:26.000 Oh, you don't have your powerful shirt on.

03:06:27.000 I do not.

03:06:28.000 YoungJamie.com.

03:06:29.000 I have a few left.

03:06:29.000 A few left on one.

03:06:30.000 YoungJamie.com.

03:06:31.000 Powerful.

03:06:31.000 All right.

03:06:32.000 That's it, fuckers. 1.00

03:06:33.000 We'll be back tomorrow. 1.00

03:06:34.000 Thank you.

03:06:35.000 Bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 08, 2018

Joe Rogan Experience #1113 - Brian Redban

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Transcript