The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1153 - Macaulay Culkin

00:00:06.000 Boom, and we're live.

00:00:07.000 And we're live! 1.00

00:00:08.000 Pull this sucker up there. 1.00

00:00:09.000 Yeah, a little closer? 0.99

00:00:10.000 A little closer?

00:00:11.000 Yeah, right about there.

00:00:12.000 How are you, fella?

00:00:13.000 What's going on?

00:00:13.000 Fantastic.

00:00:14.000 How are you doing?

00:00:14.000 Very nice to meet you.

00:00:15.000 Nice to meet you, too.

00:00:16.000 You're remarkably normal.

00:00:17.000 Oh, thanks.

00:00:19.000 I know, people always struck at how normal I am.

00:00:22.000 I'm just like, wow, really?

00:00:23.000 I think my reputation...

00:00:25.000 You made it through the maze of being a famous child.

00:00:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:00:28.000 That's a very unusual maze.

00:00:30.000 Yeah, my life is unique to me.

00:00:33.000 That's what I like to say.

00:00:35.000 I'm almost like a peerless person to a certain extent.

00:00:38.000 There's not too many people.

00:00:39.000 I can look left and right.

00:00:41.000 We have similar experiences.

00:00:44.000 Yeah, is there anybody that you ever contacted?

00:00:47.000 Like Jodie Foster or someone who's made it through and seems pretty put together?

00:00:53.000 Not really.

00:00:54.000 No, not really.

00:00:55.000 I mean, it's kind of a weird cold call.

00:00:57.000 It's like, hey...

00:01:00.000 Jodie Foster.

00:01:01.000 But I think it's such a small clan of people.

00:01:04.000 Like if a comic called me that I knew, you know, they wanted to talk to me, I would talk to them because it's such a small clan of people.

00:01:10.000 I mean, we do have our weekly therapy sessions.

00:01:13.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:01:13.000 You know, yeah.

00:01:15.000 Me, Elijah Wood, Jodie Foster, you know, yeah.

00:01:19.000 Like we all get together and yeah, we weep, you know.

00:01:22.000 Actually, we do primal screaming. 0.70

00:01:24.000 That's what we do.

00:01:25.000 I was describing what it was like.

00:01:27.000 I have a friend, Ricky Schroeder, who obviously was very famous when he was young as well.

00:01:33.000 One of my favorite TV theme songs of all time.

00:01:36.000 Silver Spoons.

00:01:37.000 Oh yeah.

00:01:37.000 And I was saying, the way you developed is not like the way the recipe calls.

00:01:43.000 Like, the recipe calls for you to have a childhood and try to figure out life and then become a man and try to find yourself and then try to find your path.

00:01:51.000 And by the time he became a man, he was already famous.

00:01:55.000 And the same thing with you.

00:01:57.000 You were already famous as you were developing and learning.

00:02:01.000 Yeah, you know, yeah.

00:02:03.000 I don't know exactly how to like kind of even describe it because it's always the way my life has been kind of thing.

00:02:10.000 In the same way that like a lot of kids like you know they go out and they You know, catch bugs and play sandlot baseball or whatever.

00:02:17.000 It's just like, yeah, that's the way it is.

00:02:20.000 You don't really realize how unique the whole situation is until you have perspective.

00:02:24.000 Because you have nothing to compare it to, really, other than, I guess, TV shows and movies and things like that.

00:02:29.000 So I knew that my upbringing was unique.

00:02:32.000 I knew it was different.

00:02:34.000 But at the same time, it's kind of just, it's not until you get some perspective, some life experience, until you really realize that, oh, wait, this was particularly weird.

00:02:42.000 Yeah.

00:02:43.000 I think one of the aspects that's particularly weird about it is a lot of kids that grow up famous, they grow up on the set.

00:02:51.000 And they grow up constantly around people who treat them very differently than everyone else.

00:02:55.000 It's not just that you're famous.

00:02:56.000 It's that you're famous and you're also the complete center of attention.

00:02:59.000 Like, you're the reason why we're here.

00:03:02.000 We're here to do this television show.

00:03:03.000 We're here to do this movie.

00:03:04.000 We're here to do this thing.

00:03:05.000 You're the star.

00:03:06.000 And that, I think, for a kid, that's a very strange place to be.

00:03:10.000 Yeah, and especially, like, I mean, I, like, when I was a kid, like, even before I started working, I always liked being, like, the center of attention kind of thing.

00:03:17.000 I was definitely, you know, I was just...

00:03:19.000 I was very boisterous.

00:03:20.000 But in general, I never really liked being fussed over.

00:03:25.000 I didn't like the hair, makeup, costume people poking at you all the time.

00:03:30.000 I actually wasn't a huge fan after a while of being that center of attention.

00:03:35.000 It does become a job after a while.

00:03:39.000 Early on, you kind of just do what you do.

00:03:42.000 I was good at it, and boom.

00:03:44.000 In the same way that you do anything that you like, It's weird that child labor laws don't apply to acting.

00:03:50.000 Yeah, they do.

00:03:51.000 Do they?

00:03:52.000 Yeah, I'm pretty well versed in child labor laws.

00:03:54.000 Well, how's that work then?

00:03:55.000 It goes from state to state.

00:03:57.000 They can work you, let's say like in New York, they can work you 10 hours.

00:04:01.000 Yeah, but stop right there.

00:04:03.000 They can work you. 0.86

00:04:04.000 You can't get a job if you're eight.

00:04:06.000 That's what their limit is.

00:04:09.000 At the same time, you have to get three hours of schooling in plus an hour of lunch.

00:04:12.000 So really, your available window is only six hours or something like that a day.

00:04:16.000 And also, in that six hours, they're always setting up the lights for the next shot and the hurry up and wait kind of part of things.

00:04:24.000 That's why the second Home Alone, it took like...

00:04:27.000 Nearly five months to film because they can only, I mean, virtually every scene, and they can only use me X amount of hours per day kind of thing.

00:04:35.000 But isn't that the only job that you can work when you're eight years old?

00:04:39.000 I don't know.

00:04:41.000 I mean, you can't be a carpenter.

00:04:43.000 I mean, I guess you can do modeling, you know, but like some kind of performing arts kind of thing.

00:04:48.000 There are dancers and so forth.

00:04:51.000 Because I was a ballet dancer before I was an actor.

00:04:55.000 Really?

00:04:56.000 Yeah, I did ballet for a number of years.

00:04:58.000 I'm a classically trained ballerina right here.

00:05:00.000 Wow!

00:05:00.000 Is it a ballerina if you're a man?

00:05:02.000 I say I'm a ballet dancer, but there is a weird ballerino.

00:05:09.000 That some of them use, and I'm like, I don't think I can call myself a ballerino.

00:05:13.000 I just can't.

00:05:14.000 It's too bro-y. 0.78

00:05:15.000 Sounds like it's from Welcome Back, Cotter.

00:05:17.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:05:19.000 Ballerino.

00:05:20.000 I'm Billy Ballerino.

00:05:25.000 So I did that for a number of years, and there's a bunch of kids that do that, and you get paid, and you do the work.

00:05:31.000 Wow.

00:05:32.000 So, you know, there are other, I guess, trades.

00:05:34.000 Yeah, it seems like it's only show business, though, right?

00:05:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:05:37.000 That's what I mean.

00:05:37.000 I think it's more in the performing arts kind of thing.

00:05:40.000 Like, you know, you don't see a lot of kids working the coal mines anymore.

00:05:43.000 Like, that kind of thing.

00:05:44.000 Yeah, for good reason, right?

00:05:45.000 But some people think that that...

00:05:47.000 It's like my six-year-old's dying of black lung, you know?

00:05:50.000 Oof.

00:05:51.000 There's some horrible pictures from, like, the early 1900s of people actually working in the coal mines when they were little tiny kids.

00:05:58.000 Yep, yep.

00:05:59.000 Yeah, I mean, there are no Newsies anymore, you know?

00:06:03.000 Did you have any say in whether or not you worked when you were young?

00:06:06.000 Not really, no.

00:06:08.000 After a while, it became, like I said, a job.

00:06:11.000 I never chose the projects.

00:06:14.000 My parents, essentially, chose them for me.

00:06:18.000 So they were like, good news, Macaulay!

00:06:20.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:06:22.000 You're going to buy us a new house! 0.97

00:06:24.000 Yeah, there you go.

00:06:26.000 I never read any of the scripts.

00:06:28.000 I would just read the lines for the next day or whatever.

00:06:31.000 I would get the gist of what the movie was about.

00:06:34.000 But then I'd just kind of show up and...

00:06:36.000 Hit my marks, find my light, you know, and recite my lines.

00:06:40.000 So surreal.

00:06:42.000 It's kind of just like, again, it's what you do.

00:06:44.000 Right.

00:06:45.000 It's in the same way that kids go to school or something like that.

00:06:49.000 You fall into a routine to a certain extent.

00:06:52.000 Yeah.

00:06:53.000 Well, that's the thing about the human mind, right?

00:06:55.000 So flexible.

00:06:56.000 You could adopt any sort of weird scenario.

00:07:00.000 And especially when you're a kid.

00:07:01.000 I mean, you can just bounce all the time.

00:07:04.000 Yeah, kids adapt so easy.

00:07:06.000 Exactly, exactly.

00:07:07.000 And I always had like a good memory and things like that.

00:07:09.000 Like, you know, I liked, you know, I was...

00:07:12.000 Big and charismatic, and I had a good memory, so I could remember my lines.

00:07:18.000 That's pretty much what...

00:07:19.000 I'm not going to give any advice to any people about, like, you should put your kid into this line of work.

00:07:24.000 But at the same time, what producers really care about is whether or not you remember your lines.

00:07:30.000 People never work with kids or animals.

00:07:34.000 Kind of thing.

00:07:35.000 All they really care about is you remember your lines, really.

00:07:39.000 Because apparently that's a problem.

00:07:41.000 For me, it never was.

00:07:42.000 If I ever lost my place, I would just see the script in my head and just read it.

00:07:47.000 I kind of had a photographic memory back then.

00:07:49.000 Oh, it's faded now.

00:07:51.000 How old are you now?

00:07:52.000 I'm 37. I'm about to be 38 in two weeks.

00:07:55.000 Feels weird, doesn't it?

00:07:57.000 Yeah.

00:07:58.000 My bowels are different.

00:08:02.000 What's different about your bowels?

00:08:04.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:04.000 I just got a...

00:08:07.000 Doing some random checkup kind of thing, and they're like, oh, we should scope you.

00:08:10.000 I did the scoping in my stomach kind of thing, but I got a colonoscopy.

00:08:18.000 I was actually hoping, because they were putting me under, so it didn't really matter to me.

00:08:22.000 They put you under for a colonoscopy?

00:08:25.000 Yeah, at least I had that and a scoping. 0.93

00:08:27.000 I think it's down the throat. 0.93

00:08:29.000 I was actually hoping they were going to use the butt one first, and then put it in my mouth. 1.00

00:08:35.000 Why? 0.99

00:08:36.000 Just ass to mouth, boom. 0.98

00:08:39.000 But apparently they use different cameras. 0.87

00:08:42.000 Yeah, they're probably designed different.

00:08:44.000 They don't go as deep, right?

00:08:46.000 Because they were all worried I might have an ulcer.

00:08:50.000 Stomach pains or something?

00:08:51.000 Yeah, it's been a little iffy.

00:08:53.000 So the good news is I don't have an ulcer.

00:08:55.000 Bad news is I have two ulcers.

00:08:57.000 Oh, wow.

00:08:58.000 Yeah, so I'm dealing with that.

00:09:00.000 I've had to curtail my lifestyle in general.

00:09:02.000 I'm eating less red meat, less carbonated beverages, ibuprofen, no more ibuprofen, that kind of stuff.

00:09:09.000 Ibuprofen's terrible for your gut.

00:09:10.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:09:12.000 I used to eat burgers every single day, and now I can have two servings of red meat a week kind of thing.

00:09:19.000 It wasn't too hard for me to curtail my lifestyle.

00:09:21.000 Smoking less, trying to drink less, things like that.

00:09:25.000 What's the logic behind red meat less?

00:09:30.000 I'm not the doctor.

00:09:31.000 Does the doctor have a method to his madness?

00:09:34.000 Yeah, it's like if you read the list of things that are good or bad for your ulcer.

00:09:38.000 So things that are aggravated?

00:09:40.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:09:40.000 So red meat falls into that category.

00:09:43.000 But chicken doesn't?

00:09:44.000 Fish doesn't?

00:09:45.000 Apparently not, or at least, you know, less so.

00:09:48.000 How weird.

00:09:49.000 Yeah, because my special lady friend, she was like, you know, worried about me and stuff, so she was reading up on, like, you know, ulcers and things like that, and it was, like, the first, like, it was like seven things that, like...

00:10:00.000 That flare it up.

00:10:01.000 And all of them were check marks for exactly what I was doing in my life kind of thing.

00:10:06.000 Like I said, red meat, smoking, drinking.

00:10:10.000 I had just had a neck issue, so I was taking a lot of ibuprofen.

00:10:13.000 And it was just like every single check mark.

00:10:16.000 Yeah, I've read something about ibuprofen doing it because ibuprofen disrupts gut bacteria, and they believe that gut bacteria...

00:10:23.000 There was something really recent about that.

00:10:25.000 A real recent study, they think that they found a new cause for ulcers.

00:10:30.000 They used to think it was caused by stress.

00:10:34.000 Which can do it, also.

00:10:37.000 I've just started a new company and things like that, so I have that kind of stress kind of thing.

00:10:42.000 Like I said, I hit a lot of the checkmarks.

00:10:45.000 When you say can do it, I think what they were saying was they used to think it can do it, but now they think it's all a matter of bacteria in your stomach.

00:10:54.000 Yeah, I mean, I think that's a big part of it.

00:10:56.000 Also, if you, like, I did a movie in Thailand, like, last year, and came back, you know, came back with a worm.

00:11:04.000 So, you know, one of those, like, single cell kind, like, you know, when I was getting the medication for it, I was like, so what do I, what should I expect from this?

00:11:11.000 And he's like, what do you expect you to get better? 0.95

00:11:13.000 I go, yeah, but like, you know, what's, like, am I going to shit a worm? 0.99

00:11:17.000 Am I going to shit out of it? 0.99

00:11:18.000 And they're like, no, no, no. 0.99

00:11:19.000 This is one of those single cell ones.

00:11:21.000 But it made me more susceptible to getting ulcers.

00:11:25.000 Is this because of the antibiotics that you had to take for the worm or anti-worming stuff?

00:11:30.000 I think it messes with your stomach chemistry kind of thing.

00:11:33.000 And so after that is when you got the ulcer.

00:11:35.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:11:37.000 So dealing with it, it's actually not so bad.

00:11:42.000 So what does it do to you?

00:11:43.000 What does an ulcer do?

00:11:45.000 You know, sometimes you kind of get a little pain, things like that. 0.80

00:11:49.000 Yeah, like, I mean, at one point I was, like, shitting, like, ten times a day, kind of thing. 0.82

00:11:53.000 You know what I mean? 0.91

00:11:53.000 Like, it was kind of just, like, it kind of loosens your stool a little bit. 0.91

00:11:56.000 Oh, weird.

00:11:57.000 Yeah, it kind of gets mucus-y.

00:11:59.000 I mean, I can go into it.

00:12:01.000 That's what I mean.

00:12:01.000 You're asking me.

00:12:02.000 I don't mind.

00:12:02.000 Yeah, yeah, all right, cool.

00:12:03.000 It's okay.

00:12:03.000 Yeah, I find this stuff fascinating.

00:12:05.000 It is fascinating.

00:12:07.000 I'm like, what just came out of me?

00:12:08.000 Ooh.

00:12:08.000 Also fascinating, right, when you can't see what's going on.

00:12:11.000 It's like behind a door.

00:12:12.000 Like, what's happening in there?

00:12:13.000 You can't even listen to it.

00:12:15.000 Yeah.

00:12:15.000 And I was like, what was that?

00:12:16.000 Was that chicken?

00:12:17.000 I don't know.

00:12:18.000 Like, which meal was that one?

00:12:19.000 Like, you know, I'm experimenting with my stomach, seeing what comes out the other end kind of thing.

00:12:23.000 Yeah.

00:12:24.000 Did you experiment at all with probiotics?

00:12:26.000 Did you do anything to try to...

00:12:27.000 No, not yet.

00:12:28.000 This is a fairly recent thing.

00:12:29.000 This has only been in the last, not even two months, in the last eight weeks or so.

00:12:34.000 So I am just kind of easing into this thing.

00:12:36.000 I have a list.

00:12:37.000 I made a little list of things that are good for me, to eat, things like that.

00:12:42.000 Make sure I get some yogurt, lots of leafy greens, things like that.

00:12:46.000 What is that ribbon on your jacket that you have pinned to the safety pin?

00:12:48.000 It's a participation badge.

00:12:50.000 Because I participate in life.

00:12:52.000 Look at me.

00:12:53.000 Is that what it's for?

00:12:54.000 Yeah, I mean, I went to a...

00:12:56.000 It was a camp, like a summer camp-themed wedding back in, like, almost a year ago.

00:13:03.000 Something like that.

00:13:03.000 And so, like, they were giving out participation badges, like, kind of thing, because if you participated in things.

00:13:08.000 But yeah, no, everyone always asks me about the ribbon.

00:13:10.000 Yeah.

00:13:10.000 Because I kind of just...

00:13:11.000 The safety pin done.

00:13:13.000 Yeah, kind of just, you know, like, I mean, I wear, like, all kinds of things.

00:13:16.000 But for some reason, everyone's like, What is that?

00:13:18.000 What's that?

00:13:18.000 No, I'm participating in life.

00:13:20.000 Here I am, aren't I? I'm on your podcast.

00:13:23.000 You are participating in life.

00:13:24.000 I am participating.

00:13:26.000 You seem really healthy.

00:13:28.000 You seem like a together person.

00:13:30.000 Oh, yeah.

00:13:31.000 I know.

00:13:31.000 That's a shocker for people.

00:13:34.000 I guess so.

00:13:35.000 Usually, for the most part, I'm pretty put together.

00:13:38.000 I've got a good life now.

00:13:40.000 I've got a special lady friend. 0.98

00:13:41.000 We have a dog and a cat together.

00:13:44.000 For a family.

00:13:45.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:13:46.000 There's one thing to exchange keys.

00:13:48.000 It's another to get a cat.

00:13:50.000 A cat is you can get a cat together, because a cat can kind of go anywhere.

00:13:53.000 But get a dog together, that's a big one.

00:13:56.000 She already had the dog, but it's a girl.

00:13:59.000 She's a Shiba Inu. 0.78

00:14:01.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:01.000 Adorable.

00:14:02.000 Looks like a stuffed animal kind of thing. 0.88

00:14:03.000 And then she's black. 0.96

00:14:06.000 And then we got a big fluffy white cat.

00:14:09.000 And it's like, boy, girl, dog, cat.

00:14:11.000 Like, you know, yeah.

00:14:12.000 Like, you know, yeah.

00:14:12.000 Like, it's...

00:14:13.000 They're really, really...

00:14:13.000 And they're adorable.

00:14:14.000 Like, I've seen dogs and cats play with each other before.

00:14:17.000 And it's kind of cute.

00:14:18.000 And these guys play all the time.

00:14:20.000 It's actually like...

00:14:21.000 It's a very special little relationship that they have.

00:14:23.000 That's cute.

00:14:24.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:24.000 No, we never turn on the television.

00:14:25.000 Like, in our house.

00:14:26.000 And just watch the cats.

00:14:27.000 We just watch, like, the dog and the cat and stuff.

00:14:29.000 You know, yeah, yeah.

00:14:30.000 Do you plan on making people?

00:14:32.000 Yeah.

00:14:33.000 I'm going to make some babies. 0.55

00:14:35.000 All that kind of stuff.

00:14:36.000 This one's a good one.

00:14:38.000 I'm probably going to put some babies in her in a little bit. 1.00

00:14:42.000 We've definitely been practicing.

00:14:45.000 That's important.

00:14:47.000 This one, I'm going to have some pretty babies. 0.99

00:14:51.000 She's Asian, so I'm going to have tiny little Asian babies. 1.00

00:14:57.000 It's going to be adorable.

00:14:58.000 Look at her.

00:14:59.000 Adorable.

00:15:00.000 A bunch of Sean Lennons running around the house.

00:15:03.000 That's what I'm looking for.

00:15:05.000 Oh my goodness.

00:15:07.000 It's funny.

00:15:10.000 It's almost like I feel entitled to make Asian jokes because I have an Asian girlfriend kind of thing.

00:15:16.000 I don't think you're loud.

00:15:17.000 I do it with her all the time, but I don't do it in public.

00:15:21.000 Don't let anybody know.

00:15:21.000 Yeah, no, no.

00:15:22.000 It's like, oh, baby, you're my Yoko.

00:15:25.000 You're going to be my downfall. 0.98

00:15:29.000 You're the most hated person in all of music. 0.98

00:15:31.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:15:34.000 You used to be able to.

00:15:35.000 If you were married to an Asian woman 10, 15 years ago, it would be no problem.

00:15:38.000 I think if I have Asian babies, I'd be allowed to.

00:15:42.000 I don't even think so, man.

00:15:43.000 I don't even think so.

00:15:44.000 Well, because I'd have to deal with it every day kind of thing.

00:15:48.000 It's like, oh, well, I can, you know...

00:15:49.000 I understand the struggle kind of thing.

00:15:51.000 I'm trying to shield my kids.

00:15:53.000 Not good enough.

00:15:54.000 Yeah, you don't think so?

00:15:54.000 They don't come after you.

00:15:55.000 You don't think so?

00:15:56.000 Yeah, privileged white male, wealthy white male who's famous.

00:15:59.000 You don't have a chance.

00:16:00.000 I guess I know, right?

00:16:01.000 Check all those boxes too, buddy.

00:16:03.000 Yeah, it's true.

00:16:04.000 It's true.

00:16:04.000 Privileged, blonde-haired, Aryan, male.

00:16:08.000 Who grew up famous.

00:16:10.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:16:11.000 They're just warming their fingers up right now to write blogs.

00:16:14.000 They'll probably write a blog about you thinking that you can make Asian jokes. 0.95

00:16:17.000 I know, I know, I know.

00:16:20.000 Well, that was one of the things I really loved about her.

00:16:23.000 I remember when I made my first Asian crack. 0.99

00:16:27.000 And she kind of stopped.

00:16:30.000 And then she laughed.

00:16:31.000 She was like, I can't believe you said that.

00:16:32.000 What was it that you said?

00:16:34.000 I said, you know how I know you're Asian?

00:16:35.000 She goes, why?

00:16:36.000 I said, it's the shape of your eyes.

00:16:37.000 It's a dead giveaway.

00:16:41.000 And she couldn't stop.

00:16:42.000 She was like, that's funny.

00:16:44.000 You're allowed to say that. 1.00

00:16:45.000 You can't say it because of the way you drive, bitch. 1.00

00:16:47.000 Yeah, no, exactly. 1.00

00:16:48.000 That would be a real problem.

00:16:50.000 You have to have a really good sense of humor to accept that one.

00:16:54.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:16:55.000 And you have a special relationship where you guys talk to each other like that.

00:16:58.000 And it's like, baby, you are such a good driver. 0.99

00:17:02.000 She's like, shut up. 0.97

00:17:04.000 Would you stop with the Asian stuff? 0.99

00:17:06.000 Because she is an excellent driver.

00:17:07.000 Okay.

00:17:07.000 Well, you could tell her, you're a really good driver for, you know, because of, you know, whatever.

00:17:15.000 I don't even know why that's weird.

00:17:21.000 Forget I even brought it up.

00:17:23.000 I'm so not racist, I don't even understand why that's weird.

00:17:27.000 Exactly.

00:17:28.000 Believe me, I'm pretty relentless.

00:17:29.000 But her family, they're down with, you know, it's...

00:17:34.000 I wouldn't even call it a teasing.

00:17:36.000 It's just like you're just telling jokes kind of thing.

00:17:38.000 What are you doing?

00:17:39.000 Because I'm the only white boy, like, you know, whenever we visit the family.

00:17:43.000 What brand of Asian?

00:17:46.000 It's Thai Leotian. 0.95

00:17:48.000 Oh, wow.

00:17:49.000 That's exotic.

00:17:50.000 Yeah, I know.

00:17:51.000 I know.

00:17:51.000 Leotian.

00:17:52.000 Yeah.

00:17:53.000 Yeah.

00:17:53.000 I just got back from Thailand.

00:17:55.000 I was just there.

00:17:56.000 Yeah, first time ever.

00:17:57.000 That's where I caught my worm.

00:17:58.000 Yeah.

00:17:58.000 So what is this worm?

00:18:00.000 Was it under your skin?

00:18:02.000 No, I mean, like I said, it's a single-celled kind of one.

00:18:04.000 It's in your stomach.

00:18:05.000 Oh, it was in your stomach?

00:18:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:18:07.000 How'd you know you had it?

00:18:08.000 I had...

00:18:09.000 A lot of fatigue.

00:18:10.000 And again, my movements weren't all that great.

00:18:14.000 Things like that.

00:18:15.000 And I remember waking up after about a good week or so of it.

00:18:18.000 We had just wrapped up.

00:18:19.000 We were there for five, six weeks or something.

00:18:22.000 So I was back in the States.

00:18:24.000 I was sleeping like 20 hours a day.

00:18:27.000 Only waking up to... 1.00

00:18:30.000 To shit, pretty much. 0.99

00:18:32.000 And then, yeah, no, actually, I remember waking up one of those days and I said, I'm pretty sure I have a worm. 1.00

00:18:37.000 Like, it actually just popped in my head.

00:18:38.000 I go, like, this is probably what a worm feels like.

00:18:40.000 It was almost kind of a mono-esque kind of, like, you know, fatigue, like that kind of thing.

00:18:45.000 And so, yeah, no, went there.

00:18:47.000 Some, like, heavy-duty antibiotics for, like, ten days.

00:18:50.000 How do they think you caught it?

00:18:52.000 I'm not sure.

00:18:52.000 Oh, you were on heavy-duty antibiotics for 10 days.

00:18:55.000 That's probably what caused your ulcer.

00:18:56.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:18:57.000 You know what I mean?

00:18:58.000 The worm doesn't help, and then the heavy-duty antibiotics and all that stuff.

00:19:01.000 It's just kind of like, yeah.

00:19:03.000 And also, again, lifestyle kind of things.

00:19:06.000 I can't pound bourbon like I used to kind of thing.

00:19:11.000 That's kind of the idea.

00:19:15.000 I think I caught it from a cat.

00:19:19.000 Because there was actually like a...

00:19:20.000 We were in a...

00:19:21.000 It was Kopi P. That island.

00:19:23.000 And that's like cat island and stuff.

00:19:25.000 And we had these little bungalows.

00:19:27.000 And I remember I was like...

00:19:27.000 We were just kind of checking in.

00:19:29.000 And I pulled my bag up.

00:19:30.000 And this little kind of kitten just walked up. 0.77

00:19:32.000 And was just like...

00:19:33.000 Hey, can I come in?

00:19:35.000 And they're like, yeah, sure.

00:19:36.000 Come on in.

00:19:37.000 I've had a lot of cats in my life and stuff. 0.95

00:19:39.000 So yeah, that little sucker spent a lot of time and things like that. 0.81

00:19:43.000 Oh, that's probably exactly what it was. 0.99

00:19:45.000 Yeah, we'd sleep in the bed together and stuff like that.

00:19:47.000 I'd like zurbert...

00:19:49.000 You should get yourself tested for toxoplasma.

00:19:53.000 Toxoplasmosis.

00:19:53.000 I've actually had that before.

00:19:55.000 Well, you have it then.

00:19:56.000 You have it for life.

00:19:57.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:19:57.000 No, I went through the symptoms.

00:19:58.000 I caught it from an undercooked piece of lamb, actually.

00:20:01.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:20:02.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:20:02.000 It's one of the four ways you can get it kind of thing.

00:20:05.000 No kidding.

00:20:05.000 Yeah, you can get it from cats, you can get it from undercooked lamb, you can get it through a blood transfusion, and I think the other one is a mother can transfer it to their baby.

00:20:17.000 Believe me, I went to the whole CDC website and everything.

00:20:21.000 And that was like mono kind of thing.

00:20:23.000 A lot of people catch it, but they just have the antibodies for it.

00:20:27.000 And I was a little rundown.

00:20:28.000 I was doing a play in London for like 10 months.

00:20:31.000 And also like kind of going out at night and things like that.

00:20:33.000 So I think my body was kind of just like not at its strongest.

00:20:36.000 And boom, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

00:20:37.000 Like it was that was like mono kind of thing.

00:20:40.000 And I was totally run down.

00:20:42.000 It's I got better after about like three months or so, but I didn't get 100% better for about a year.

00:20:49.000 There was a crazy article just written about toxo that it had some sort of impact on people who start up businesses, that more entrepreneurs have toxoplasmos.

00:21:02.000 It radically affects behavior, apparently.

00:21:05.000 Oh, yeah.

00:21:05.000 I mean, I don't know.

00:21:06.000 I got it when I was, like, 20. Makes you more risk-taking, more...

00:21:13.000 Yeah, parasite found in cat poop has been linked to higher likelihood of entrepreneurial behavior in people who get infected.

00:21:21.000 Well, there you go.

00:21:23.000 I just launched my own website recently and all that kind of stuff.

00:21:26.000 Yeah, so there you go.

00:21:27.000 I blame the toxoplasmosis.

00:21:30.000 Have you read up on it a lot?

00:21:33.000 Have you read any of Robert Sapolsky's stuff?

00:21:35.000 No, no, no.

00:21:36.000 Not in a while.

00:21:37.000 Like I said, I caught this in like 2000, 2001 or something.

00:21:40.000 Robert Sapolsky, he's a professor at Stanford, and he's a biologist, and he specializes in toxoplasmosis and primate behavior and a lot of other different things.

00:21:50.000 He's a biologist, right?

00:21:53.000 Discipline?

00:21:54.000 Yeah.

00:21:54.000 But anyway, he's got some amazing talks on it.

00:21:58.000 You really should listen to it since you have it.

00:22:00.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:01.000 It's fascinating stuff.

00:22:02.000 They found a disproportionate number of motorcycle victims, people with motorcycle crashes.

00:22:07.000 Oh, like so risk-taking.

00:22:08.000 Yeah.

00:22:08.000 That's what you were saying.

00:22:09.000 Yeah.

00:22:10.000 That's fascinating.

00:22:11.000 Yeah.

00:22:12.000 You know how it works?

00:22:13.000 It can only reproduce inside the cat's gut. 0.96

00:22:19.000 And it rewires the sexual reward system of a rat. 0.95

00:22:22.000 So it makes a rat horny when it smells cat piss. 0.94

00:22:27.000 So it completely changes the cat's sexual reward system. 0.95

00:22:31.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:32.000 No, that makes sense.

00:22:33.000 Excuse me, the rats.

00:22:34.000 That's the evolutionary advantage, you know, for a cat to have it.

00:22:39.000 Well, far more than evolutionary advantage.

00:22:40.000 It actually tricks...

00:22:42.000 The cat into killing the rat and tricks the rat into being horny.

00:22:46.000 No, exactly.

00:22:47.000 To come around.

00:22:48.000 No, exactly.

00:22:48.000 That's what I mean.

00:22:49.000 There's an evolutionary advantage to that because if you're a cat and you have toxoplasmosis, it's going to attract your prey to you.

00:22:59.000 No, it doesn't work that way.

00:23:01.000 The rat has to be infected.

00:23:03.000 When the rat's infected, then it smells cat urine and it gets horny.

00:23:07.000 When the cat's infected, it doesn't do anything to the cat.

00:23:10.000 It seems to have no change in the behavior of the cat, but then it gets to people.

00:23:14.000 So it only affects really the behavior of people and rats.

00:23:17.000 Yeah.

00:23:18.000 It's weird.

00:23:19.000 Yeah.

00:23:19.000 But yeah, no, I caught it.

00:23:21.000 I got the antibodies for it or whatever.

00:23:23.000 It's one of those like forever kind of things, but it doesn't affect me like at all.

00:23:27.000 Like, you know what I mean?

00:23:28.000 There's no health issue.

00:23:29.000 How would you know?

00:23:30.000 Oh, health issues.

00:23:31.000 Yeah, that's what I mean.

00:23:31.000 It was one of those things where I got sick for a couple of months, and then boom.

00:23:37.000 Like I said, it was like mono.

00:23:38.000 I think you said there's a disproportionate number of successful soccer teams that come from countries that have high rates of toxoplasma infection.

00:23:46.000 I should get into soccer.

00:23:47.000 Well, it's just one of those things.

00:23:49.000 It changes the way people behave.

00:23:52.000 Makes them a little wilder.

00:23:54.000 So, you're saying you're interested in some toxoplasmosis?

00:23:57.000 I might already have it.

00:23:58.000 Yeah, toxo...

00:23:59.000 I should probably get checked.

00:24:00.000 Toxogandhi or whatever it is.

00:24:02.000 Mm-hmm.

00:24:04.000 Toxoplasmosis.

00:24:04.000 So, what was this movie in Thailand?

00:24:06.000 It was my buddy, Seth Green.

00:24:07.000 He wrote and directed a movie.

00:24:09.000 And so...

00:24:10.000 He asked me to do something in it.

00:24:13.000 Because I don't really pursue acting at all kind of thing.

00:24:16.000 And I'm not saying it was a favor or anything like that.

00:24:18.000 But at the same time, it was like, yeah, sounds like fun.

00:24:21.000 So it's a cool cast.

00:24:22.000 It's like him.

00:24:23.000 He's in it.

00:24:24.000 Breckenmeyer's in it.

00:24:26.000 Brenda Song.

00:24:28.000 Me.

00:24:29.000 So do you just, like, do whatever you want these days and just occasionally act when it comes up?

00:24:34.000 Yeah, if it comes up, like, you know, if it's a cool, like, neat little gig or something like that, like, yeah, sure.

00:24:38.000 But, like I said, I don't pursue it in any kind of, like, any way.

00:24:41.000 Like, I don't have agents anymore and things like that.

00:24:43.000 Is that because you're just not interested?

00:24:44.000 Yeah, kind of not interested.

00:24:45.000 I don't really like the pursuit of it.

00:24:48.000 You know, like, yeah, like, what it takes to...

00:24:51.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:24:52.000 I don't like being on the circuit kind of thing.

00:24:56.000 But yeah, I write a lot.

00:24:59.000 I paint a lot.

00:25:00.000 I just kind of always have some kind of projects.

00:25:02.000 And then also, like I said, we've got the website, bunnyears.com kind of thing.

00:25:07.000 And what is that?

00:25:08.000 It's a comedy website.

00:25:09.000 It's pretty much...

00:25:12.000 Like, you know how all these celebrities, especially, like, ladies, they have those lifestyle websites? 0.94

00:25:17.000 All of them?

00:25:18.000 Well, a lot of them do.

00:25:19.000 You know, like, yeah, like, Goop, you know, is one of them.

00:25:21.000 Yeah, the same one that I know of.

00:25:22.000 Is there other ones?

00:25:22.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:25:23.000 No, it's, like, yeah, it's, uh...

00:25:24.000 The Goop one's the most egregious, though.

00:25:26.000 Yeah, that's the, well, that's the thing is that, so this is, this is, like, Goop meets The Onion.

00:25:31.000 Goop is like goop meets the onion.

00:25:32.000 Yeah, I know.

00:25:33.000 But accidentally. 1.00

00:25:36.000 They're telling you to put jade balls up your vagina. 1.00

00:25:38.000 I know, believe me. 1.00

00:25:39.000 We have an article. 0.99

00:25:40.000 I have sex on a beach in a hot... 0.99

00:25:42.000 Wait, hold on. 1.00

00:25:43.000 What is that?

00:25:44.000 Just do that thing?

00:25:45.000 Oh, annoying. 0.99

00:25:46.000 How to have sex on a beach in a hot tub and other things that seemed fun as a virgin. 0.99

00:25:52.000 It's Hannah Michaels. 0.99

00:25:54.000 Or Hannah. 0.87

00:25:55.000 She's a fantastic writer.

00:25:57.000 We have a little scroll and things like that.

00:25:59.000 So you have a podcast as well?

00:26:00.000 Yeah, we do a podcast also.

00:26:03.000 And we're revving up some more video content and things.

00:26:08.000 So this is just a fun project for you.

00:26:10.000 Yeah, it's got a lot of really great writers, like comedy writers and stuff.

00:26:15.000 It's kind of just like, oh, there's an article about a jade egg. 0.94

00:26:18.000 Like, oh, I put a jade egg up my vagina and I catch a jade bird. 1.00

00:26:21.000 You know, like that kind of thing. 1.00

00:26:23.000 You know, what to do about your bird living in your vagina now. 1.00

00:26:27.000 It's like, you know what I mean? 0.99

00:26:28.000 We're kind of, like, taking the piss out of, like, you know, some of these kind of, like, lifestyle-y websites.

00:26:32.000 Right.

00:26:33.000 You know, it's like, um, it's like, you know, they'll have articles, like, on Goop about, like, oh, the best Cabernet is, like, for, like, $200 or something like that.

00:26:39.000 And it's like, ours is, like, the best bourbon's under, you know, $20, but then, like, it turns, like, the spelling gets worse and worse, and then it turns into a rant about your ex-girlfriend.

00:26:48.000 You know?

00:26:49.000 Like, like, like, like, So, like, things like that.

00:26:51.000 It's some really good stuff.

00:26:53.000 Like I said, we have a really, really great team of people.

00:26:55.000 And, yeah, it's kind of, like I said, taking the piss out of things.

00:26:59.000 Right.

00:26:59.000 So you just decided to do this just for fun?

00:27:01.000 Yeah, I kind of had this idea.

00:27:03.000 It was kind of, like, kicking it around and so forth.

00:27:04.000 And then I felt like I kind of accumulated enough ideas.

00:27:08.000 And then, yeah, then I started kind of Voltroning it.

00:27:11.000 Like, just grabbing and assembling, you know, like, this project.

00:27:15.000 This giant robot.

00:27:16.000 You know, yeah?

00:27:17.000 So...

00:27:18.000 There you go.

00:27:19.000 It's a lot of fun.

00:27:20.000 It is funny.

00:27:21.000 Like I said, those articles are really well written.

00:27:24.000 We have one about...

00:27:25.000 Do you see Infinity War?

00:27:29.000 Avengers?

00:27:30.000 Yeah, the Avengers one.

00:27:31.000 No, I didn't see that.

00:27:31.000 Oh, okay.

00:27:32.000 Good?

00:27:33.000 Oh, it's fantastic.

00:27:34.000 It's fantastic.

00:27:35.000 But we made our own Infinity Gauntlet.

00:27:37.000 And what happens, spoiler alert, is a lot of the people kind of just vanish.

00:27:43.000 They kind of just die.

00:27:44.000 They turn into dust.

00:27:45.000 In the movie?

00:27:46.000 In the movie at the end.

00:27:47.000 So when you start reading the article, all of a sudden, all the words just start vanishing.

00:27:53.000 And then you have to go back, and it's like, yeah, even the letters.

00:27:58.000 We actually had a, we did one where it was a ransom letter.

00:28:01.000 One of our writers, she, her father is actually the therapist for Goop, like the actual psychiatrist, the official one.

00:28:09.000 Goop has their own therapist?

00:28:11.000 Yeah, you know.

00:28:12.000 Yes.

00:28:12.000 But is it like a weekly advice therapist, or is it just like therapy just for being on Goop?

00:28:18.000 Like, I know you're here because you're a mess, so here, just read this.

00:28:22.000 Just read this.

00:28:23.000 We're here for you, hugs.

00:28:25.000 So we got pictures of him bound and gagged, and it's like, Dear Goop, we kidnapped your therapist.

00:28:31.000 You can only get him back if you give us your seven hot tips for facial washes for this summer.

00:28:39.000 And you know what?

00:28:41.000 Good on them.

00:28:41.000 They responded, and they actually sent us over a list of, like, here are the hot kind of tips.

00:28:47.000 I was like, you know, good for them.

00:28:48.000 They had a sense of humor about the whole thing.

00:28:50.000 I think they have to.

00:28:51.000 They're called Goop.

00:28:52.000 I know, yeah.

00:28:53.000 We thought about naming ours Poog. 0.84

00:28:57.000 They'd probably sue.

00:28:58.000 Yeah, I know.

00:28:58.000 I was like, no, no, no.

00:29:00.000 So you're basically financially set from all those movies.

00:29:04.000 I do okay for myself.

00:29:05.000 But do you just put that money away and just live off the interest?

00:29:09.000 Pretty much.

00:29:10.000 Pretty much.

00:29:11.000 And yeah, I'm able to...

00:29:14.000 Kind of live the life that my circumstances afforded me.

00:29:20.000 Like I said, I'm very, very, very lucky.

00:29:24.000 Lots of weird things happen to kids all the time, all around the world, every day.

00:29:28.000 I have something to show for it.

00:29:31.000 So it's nice.

00:29:32.000 I can live...

00:29:33.000 What is it?

00:29:35.000 My buddy Jack, he goes...

00:29:36.000 That's a weird way to describe a movie career.

00:29:38.000 Yeah, pretty much.

00:29:38.000 Lots of weird things happen to kids.

00:29:40.000 Yeah, man.

00:29:40.000 But I got some money out of it.

00:29:42.000 Look, I'm not working like the diamond mines.

00:29:43.000 I'm not a child soldier.

00:29:45.000 You know what I mean?

00:29:46.000 I came out the other end.

00:29:49.000 And I have something to show for it.

00:29:50.000 I do feel blessed every morning kind of thing.

00:29:53.000 So you're happy that it all worked out that way?

00:29:55.000 Yeah.

00:29:55.000 If you could go back and do it again, would you do it the same way?

00:29:58.000 Knowing what I know now?

00:29:59.000 I mean, probably.

00:30:00.000 Yeah, I'd probably be even more charming.

00:30:04.000 I'd do it just better.

00:30:07.000 Well, of course you would, right?

00:30:08.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:30:09.000 Go back and do it now.

00:30:09.000 Can you imagine if you could just have your brain in a little kid's body?

00:30:13.000 Yeah, I know. 1.00

00:30:14.000 I would kill it. 1.00

00:30:15.000 Just run shit in grade school. 1.00

00:30:16.000 I would so kill it in school. 1.00

00:30:18.000 Oh, psychological warfare. 1.00

00:30:19.000 They wouldn't know what's coming. 1.00

00:30:20.000 Those little fucks. 1.00

00:30:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:30:22.000 Twist their little brains up in knots. 0.99

00:30:24.000 Oh, exactly. 0.98

00:30:24.000 That would be great. 0.98

00:30:25.000 I'm pretty sure that's what Going on 13 was, right?

00:30:29.000 What's that?

00:30:31.000 Isn't that a Jennifer Gardner movie? 1.00

00:30:32.000 I have no idea what any Jennifer Gardner movies are.

00:30:35.000 Well, you know, now you do.

00:30:37.000 Yeah.

00:30:38.000 30 going on 13. Is that like a brain swap one?

00:30:41.000 Kind of, yes.

00:30:43.000 Her adult brain goes into her when she's 13!

00:30:49.000 Freaky Friday!

00:30:52.000 So it's kind of a freaky Friday with some time travel, I guess.

00:30:55.000 So you're going to Netflix it tonight, aren't you?

00:30:59.000 Nope.

00:31:01.000 I can tell.

00:31:01.000 I can see it.

00:31:03.000 You've been thoroughly charmed by Jennifer Gardner, I can tell.

00:31:06.000 That's an interesting life you have, then.

00:31:08.000 So you just kind of do whatever you want.

00:31:10.000 Yeah, my friend Jack says I'm a man of leisure.

00:31:12.000 That's the way he describes my life and lifestyle.

00:31:15.000 That's a good way to describe it.

00:31:16.000 Yeah, it's true.

00:31:17.000 I kind of spent some time just jumping around Europe or something like that.

00:31:23.000 Yeah, but you lived in Paris, you were saying, for a while?

00:31:25.000 Yeah, lived there for...

00:31:27.000 A number of years.

00:31:28.000 I mean, I still have my place there.

00:31:29.000 But since, like, 2013, something like that?

00:31:33.000 It's only in the last year I've been kind of spending more time in the States.

00:31:36.000 What was it that brought you to Paris? 0.99

00:31:37.000 Well, the food sucks, the wine's terrible, and the women are ugly. 1.00

00:31:41.000 But otherwise, it's fantastic. 0.99

00:31:46.000 No, it was an agreeable lifestyle.

00:31:49.000 I had a bunch of friends out there.

00:31:50.000 They were always asking me, When are you going to move to Paris and when are you going to learn French?

00:31:55.000 Your friends in Paris were asking you that?

00:31:57.000 Yeah.

00:31:57.000 And I was there just kind of like, I was just kind of jumping around a little bit.

00:32:01.000 And so I thought about it for a second and I went, you know what?

00:32:05.000 How's next week?

00:32:08.000 So I said, I'm going to leave my bags here.

00:32:09.000 I'm going to fly back to New York.

00:32:11.000 I'm going to put my affairs in order.

00:32:14.000 And I said, I'll be back next week.

00:32:16.000 I said, I'm ready to live here.

00:32:18.000 I mean, I realized that if I could pick up and just move to France on a whim, and it wouldn't affect anyone's life or it wouldn't hurt anybody, I'd be remiss if I didn't.

00:32:29.000 You know what I mean?

00:32:30.000 How many times am I like, I couldn't do that now?

00:32:33.000 But I could do it back then, kind of thing.

00:32:36.000 Right. 1.00

00:32:36.000 So I was like, yeah, just fuck it. 1.00

00:32:38.000 I'm going to live in Paris now. 1.00

00:32:40.000 And it was great.

00:32:42.000 A lot of people have done that.

00:32:43.000 Johnny Depp lived there for a little while.

00:32:45.000 I know Richard Belzer lived there for a while.

00:32:48.000 No, it's a special place.

00:32:49.000 What's special about it?

00:32:51.000 I mean, again, food and wine is fantastic.

00:32:54.000 The girls are pretty. 1.00

00:32:55.000 It's the leisurely kind of lifestyle a little bit.

00:32:59.000 I like their eating habits.

00:33:01.000 It's like a light breakfast and it kind of gets heavier as you kind of go along in the day.

00:33:06.000 You kind of eat later, which is kind of like, you know, like, oh, you're American.

00:33:10.000 You must want to eat dinner at like 8. What time are they eating?

00:33:14.000 Like 10. 10 p.m.?

00:33:16.000 Yeah, about 10 p.m.

00:33:17.000 is like, you know, kind of a, you know, an ideal like dinner kind of time.

00:33:21.000 They don't like to work hard either, right?

00:33:23.000 I mean, no, I mean, they work.

00:33:25.000 I mean, I think, you know.

00:33:26.000 But they like to take their time.

00:33:28.000 Yeah, everything is like, yeah, it's like, you know, I'll set up a card game for like 3.30, and 3.30 means like 5. You know, that's just the way, like, everyone's kind of always late, but it's no big deal.

00:33:39.000 That's the thing.

00:33:39.000 I remember one time kind of like, oh gosh, like, you know, just like, where are they?

00:33:43.000 And then I realized, I'm like, wait, what is the hurry?

00:33:46.000 For real, what is the hurry?

00:33:48.000 It's not like I have other plans.

00:33:49.000 My plan is to hang out with you guys.

00:33:52.000 And all of a sudden, stress would just melt away.

00:33:55.000 I'm like, yeah, you can just be more leisurely and stuff about things out there.

00:34:01.000 And everyone's like, like I said, it's really cool.

00:34:04.000 They like Americans out there.

00:34:05.000 That's a misconception that they don't like.

00:34:07.000 They don't like the loud, obnoxious Americans with the, you know, Mickey Mouse t-shirt and the fanny packs and stuff. 1.00

00:34:11.000 Well, we don't either.

00:34:11.000 Did you say fanny packs?

00:34:13.000 How dare you?

00:34:14.000 I did.

00:34:14.000 I have one.

00:34:16.000 That's right, that's right.

00:34:17.000 They're wonderful.

00:34:18.000 It's a great way to keep your stuff.

00:34:20.000 Yeah, you got a nice, like, leather one.

00:34:21.000 I use inside pockets.

00:34:24.000 I got inside pockets.

00:34:25.000 That's my purse.

00:34:26.000 Well, that works too.

00:34:27.000 I also have a satchel that I travel around with also.

00:34:31.000 Oh, a man purse.

00:34:32.000 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:34:33.000 Satchel.

00:34:34.000 Yeah, you know what?

00:34:34.000 It's actually, I do call it my purse, like, you know, in day-to-day kind of thing, because it's like someone's like, oh, it's a satchel or it's a murse.

00:34:40.000 I'm like, no, no, no.

00:34:41.000 It's a purse.

00:34:43.000 No illusions here, guys.

00:34:44.000 Isn't it funny that you would be insulted or more positive about it if it had a different sound coming out of your mouth?

00:34:50.000 Yeah, right?

00:34:51.000 And it's like, no, no, no, it's a purse.

00:34:53.000 It's the exact same thing.

00:34:54.000 It's a purse.

00:34:54.000 Yeah, it's a purse.

00:34:56.000 What happened there?

00:34:59.000 How come we can't have purses? 0.93

00:35:01.000 No one's gonna do that.

00:35:02.000 There's a few bold souls that will put on a fanny pack and walk out into public.

00:35:07.000 But there's not a lot of people that will just actually wear...

00:35:10.000 I like how you just called yourself bold.

00:35:11.000 It's a joke.

00:35:13.000 But there's not a lot of people that would wear...

00:35:16.000 An actual purse, like a Louis Vuitton purse.

00:35:19.000 Yeah.

00:35:19.000 I mean, I'm secure enough in myself and everything.

00:35:24.000 I can pull off the purse look.

00:35:26.000 I mean, I wear fingernail polish and, you know, I have a participation badge.

00:35:30.000 You have like fingernail stripes.

00:35:32.000 Not all polish, but like a little bit. 0.85

00:35:35.000 Yeah, I actually do do it on purpose.

00:35:39.000 They do make my fingers a little too feminine if it's done perfectly.

00:35:43.000 But I'm actually really good.

00:35:44.000 When I did that movie Party Monster, I learned a lot of fun makeup-y kind of things.

00:35:48.000 Ways to make your fingers look like they're two weeks old.

00:35:54.000 I could have painted these yesterday and they would look like this kind of thing.

00:35:59.000 Yeah.

00:36:01.000 I always just liked nail polish, what can I say?

00:36:05.000 But yeah, I'm secure enough to wear a purse or something like that.

00:36:08.000 I have no issue with that.

00:36:10.000 You're allowed to wear a backpack, though.

00:36:11.000 That's why it's weird.

00:36:12.000 What's this, Mickey Rourke?

00:36:15.000 Yeah, he's got a...

00:36:16.000 What are those called?

00:36:18.000 A clutch?

00:36:20.000 Yeah, that looks more like a clutch.

00:36:21.000 Yeah, but he's so eccentric.

00:36:23.000 I met him this past weekend. 0.87

00:36:24.000 He had a crazy cowboy.

00:36:26.000 We're looking at a picture of Mickey Rourke.

00:36:28.000 He had a crazy cowboy hat on, and he's just... 0.82

00:36:31.000 Yeah, he seems like a kook. 0.99

00:36:33.000 I mean, you can see that picture, that belt buckle. 0.81

00:36:35.000 Like, that's something.

00:36:37.000 Good on him.

00:36:38.000 Yeah, and he's just an odd duck all around.

00:36:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:43.000 For some reason it reminds me, it was an old Onion article, and it was one of my favorite headlines, and it was, Johnny Depp found to be 90% scarves.

00:36:52.000 LAUGHTER Yeah, he got way scarf-y after the whole pirate movie thing.

00:36:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:36:59.000 He went straight scarf for the rest of his life kind of thing.

00:37:02.000 He really committed to that scarf thing.

00:37:05.000 When you're a beautiful man like that, it's an odd transition to being a 55-year-old.

00:37:11.000 What's up with Johnny Depp lately?

00:37:13.000 Not good things.

00:37:14.000 I know.

00:37:15.000 It's really strange.

00:37:16.000 Actually, just this morning...

00:37:19.000 They delayed or canceled.

00:37:22.000 He has a Notorious B.I.G. movie coming out that he's in with Forrest Whitaker.

00:37:26.000 And it was supposed to come out next month.

00:37:28.000 And they just pulled it from the schedule.

00:37:29.000 And they haven't even said that it's ever going to come out or something.

00:37:34.000 And even just looking at pictures of him, there's something off about him.

00:37:38.000 He's hanging out with Doug Stanhope.

00:37:39.000 That's what it is.

00:37:40.000 He used to be really great. 1.00

00:37:41.000 Stanhope, what'd you do to him, you fuck? 1.00

00:37:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:44.000 I don't even know who that is.

00:37:45.000 Doug Stanhope?

00:37:47.000 One of the best stand-up comedians ever.

00:37:49.000 Ah, there you go.

00:37:51.000 I'm more of a Stephen Wright fan myself.

00:37:54.000 Me too.

00:37:54.000 Yeah, I love Stephen Wright.

00:37:56.000 But I think Johnny's just... 0.94

00:37:59.000 He hit that weird spot where you're just too fucking famous. 0.97

00:38:03.000 You can't go anywhere. 0.96

00:38:05.000 Where you were when you were little, I'm sure, but you can coast now, right?

00:38:09.000 You can go places.

00:38:10.000 Yeah, like how rich is rich enough?

00:38:12.000 Like, dude, like, yeah, that's what I mean.

00:38:14.000 It's not just that, but he spends...

00:38:16.000 He owns 14 houses.

00:38:18.000 He owns an island.

00:38:20.000 Millions and millions of dollars worth of art.

00:38:21.000 Didn't he spend like $5 million shooting Hunter S. Thompson's ashes out of a cannon?

00:38:28.000 They asked him, didn't you spend a million dollars?

00:38:30.000 He goes, no, of course not.

00:38:30.000 I spent $3 million.

00:38:33.000 That's what they asked him about his wine habit.

00:38:35.000 They said, your attorney said that your wine habit is $30,000 a month.

00:38:40.000 And he goes, that's an insult.

00:38:41.000 It's far more than that.

00:38:42.000 It's far, far more than that.

00:38:45.000 Alright, cool.

00:38:46.000 I guess he has to maintain that lifestyle that he wants for himself.

00:38:49.000 That's what he's doing.

00:38:50.000 That's his life.

00:38:52.000 His life is spending all that money.

00:38:54.000 His whole life is doing movies.

00:38:56.000 That sometimes happens to people, though, also when they're involved in laborious projects that they're not really interested in.

00:39:05.000 When you're doing something all day, and I say this as a guy who hosted Fear Factor, when you're doing something all day that you don't really enjoy doing while you're doing it, you're like, okay, time to go to work.

00:39:17.000 I mean, I was very thankful to have the job, don't get me wrong, but the reality is it was not enjoyed.

00:39:22.000 It wasn't a fruitful endeavor.

00:39:24.000 It wasn't like working for the UFC or doing stand-up comedy or even doing a podcast.

00:39:29.000 Yeah, it wasn't a passion project.

00:39:30.000 Right, exactly. 0.99

00:39:30.000 So when you do something like that, like people on bad sitcoms in particular, they spend all their fucking money. 0.99

00:39:37.000 They go crazy. 0.97

00:39:37.000 Because the only thing that they look forward to is, what am I going to do with this money? 0.97

00:39:41.000 What's the reward at least?

00:39:42.000 I'm going to buy a Ferrari.

00:39:43.000 I'm going to buy a mansion.

00:39:44.000 I'm going to buy an island.

00:39:45.000 And I think that's what Johnny got into.

00:39:48.000 Yeah, I couldn't see myself doing a sitcom or a television show kind of thing.

00:39:54.000 What about a good sitcom?

00:39:55.000 A good one, I'd do.

00:39:56.000 Newsradio is a fantastic show.

00:39:57.000 Thank you.

00:39:58.000 That must have been a fruitful endeavor.

00:40:00.000 It's the reason why I never did another one.

00:40:02.000 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

00:40:02.000 You don't want to ruin that experience.

00:40:03.000 Every other one that came along was like, this is shit. 0.99

00:40:06.000 Well, they pursued me for Big Bang Theory. 1.00

00:40:10.000 Oh, Christ.

00:40:11.000 You got lucky.

00:40:11.000 You escaped that.

00:40:12.000 And I said, like, no.

00:40:13.000 I said, like, nah.

00:40:14.000 Because it was kind of like the way the pitch was.

00:40:16.000 It was kind of just like, all right, these two, like, astrophysicist nerds.

00:40:18.000 And then a pretty girl lives with them.

00:40:21.000 Yoinks! 0.57

00:40:21.000 Like, you know, and like that would... 0.57

00:40:23.000 That was the pitch!

00:40:26.000 And they were like, oh, we're going to get some real physicists to do the math.

00:40:29.000 And I said, yeah, no, I'm cool, thanks.

00:40:32.000 And then they came back at me again, and I said, no, no, no, again, flattered, but no.

00:40:38.000 And then they came back at me again, and even my manager was twisting my arm.

00:40:43.000 Come on, I want the piece of this, my colleague!

00:40:45.000 Listen, I'd have hundreds of millions of dollars right now if I did that gig.

00:40:49.000 At the same time, I'd be bashing my head against the wall.

00:40:51.000 That's the thing.

00:40:52.000 I mean, I think that's what Johnny Depp's doing.

00:40:54.000 I mean, he can't really be into those pirate movies.

00:40:56.000 Yeah, no, he's just, he's interested.

00:40:57.000 And that's the thing, is that, like, he wasn't always like that.

00:41:00.000 No.

00:41:00.000 But right now, it's, like, all about the money right now.

00:41:02.000 Well, this is the thing.

00:41:02.000 I read an article, an interview with him, it was about two decades ago, and he was talking about, you know, he was in his 30s, and he was doing a lot of weird, obscure movies.

00:41:11.000 Like, was that movie Dead Man?

00:41:13.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:41:15.000 Jermush.

00:41:15.000 Yeah.

00:41:16.000 He did a lot of weird shit. 0.99

00:41:17.000 And he said, this is kind of what I really like, and I'm not Blockbuster Boy, which is what he said. 1.00

00:41:23.000 Which is so ironic.

00:41:24.000 Which is so ironic. 0.99

00:41:25.000 Because now he's fucking Blockbuster Boy. 0.99

00:41:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:41:28.000 No, he goes, yeah, if I'm ever part of a franchise, like Just Shoot Me or something like that. 0.99

00:41:33.000 And it's just like, yeah, they're pulling up these weird, like, old quotes.

00:41:36.000 It's like the George Lucas, like, when he testified before Congress about the colorization of movies and talking about how movies are part of our heritage and, you know, they shouldn't be tampered with.

00:41:49.000 And then he goes back, like, 25 years later, he's going back and redoing his movies.

00:41:55.000 It's like, yeah, no, like, once you put art out there...

00:41:58.000 Leave it alone.

00:41:59.000 It's not yours anymore.

00:42:00.000 Yeah.

00:42:01.000 Like, that's the thing.

00:42:02.000 Like, once you show, like, your paintings, like, that's not yours anymore.

00:42:05.000 That's the world's.

00:42:07.000 That's an interesting way of looking at it.

00:42:08.000 You don't think it's theirs anymore.

00:42:10.000 Imagine if Leonardo da Vinci, like, just all of a sudden came back into existence right now, and he wants to change the Mona Lisa.

00:42:16.000 Oh, she's fat! 1.00

00:42:17.000 Yeah, he's like, I kind of didn't get the, you know, I didn't get the smile right. 0.84

00:42:21.000 I don't like her eyes!

00:42:22.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:42:23.000 Look at her hair! 1.00

00:42:24.000 It's all pulled back and shit! 1.00

00:42:25.000 I want to see it! 0.99

00:42:26.000 So should he be able to change it? 1.00

00:42:28.000 I want to give her some fucking jewelry. 1.00

00:42:30.000 I never finish the eyebrows. 1.00

00:42:32.000 I want to give her big tits and I want to push them together. 1.00

00:42:36.000 Come on, let me try. 1.00

00:42:37.000 Come on, come on. 1.00

00:42:38.000 Come on, it's my fucking painting. 0.99

00:42:40.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.99

00:42:41.000 Leonardo da Vinci is a modern Italian.

00:42:43.000 Yeah, I know, I love it.

00:42:44.000 Come on! 1.00

00:42:46.000 I want big tits with fucking glitter. 1.00

00:42:48.000 It's like he's living on Mulberry Street in Little Italy. 1.00

00:42:53.000 Hey, pizza!

00:42:54.000 Yeah, I like fake lips.

00:42:56.000 That's what I want.

00:42:57.000 Give me some Claims Casino. 1.00

00:42:58.000 Hey, this fucking broad. 1.00

00:43:01.000 Look at her. 1.00

00:43:01.000 Look at her now. 1.00

00:43:03.000 Who was it that proposed that?

00:43:04.000 Who was talking about that theory that some people believe that Leonardo da Vinci, that Mona Lisa was him in drag?

00:43:11.000 Yeah, that it was a self-portrait.

00:43:13.000 Who was it?

00:43:14.000 Callan said that when I was bringing it up.

00:43:15.000 That's right.

00:43:16.000 Callan said that the other day.

00:43:17.000 Yeah, I've seen those things.

00:43:20.000 Pull up a picture of him.

00:43:21.000 This is what we never did.

00:43:22.000 We only pulled up a picture of the photo.

00:43:24.000 We never pulled up a picture of him and the photo.

00:43:27.000 That's fascinating if that really was the case.

00:43:29.000 If he just decided to paint himself in drag.

00:43:32.000 Well, they found all kinds of things in that painting.

00:43:33.000 Like, in her, like...

00:43:35.000 Like, her iris of her eyes, there's actually, like, letters in there and stuff.

00:43:40.000 Like, really, really tiny, like straight Illuminati. 1.00

00:43:44.000 Fucking demon comes right out of the ground. 1.00

00:43:47.000 I had a dream that demons were real. 1.00

00:43:50.000 Last night, I just remembered it.

00:43:52.000 I just had a dream where I was... 1.00

00:43:54.000 Look how stupid am I? I'm almost 51 years old. 0.99

00:43:56.000 Dreams are dreams, you know? 0.99

00:43:57.000 Yeah, but that's a weak fucking thought. 1.00

00:43:59.000 I had a dream the other day where I was the biggest dick in the world. 0.99

00:44:03.000 Like, I was actually just being really rude to everybody. 0.99

00:44:05.000 Here's a drawing of him.

00:44:08.000 Wow.

00:44:09.000 It's like looking in a mirror.

00:44:13.000 Yeah.

00:44:13.000 Nailed it, guys.

00:44:15.000 Oh.

00:44:16.000 Yeah, you know, you can kind of size anything into anything.

00:44:19.000 Well, I don't know about that one.

00:44:22.000 Yeah, the head's a little taller.

00:44:24.000 It might have gotten confused with that, you know, the drawing of the man in the circle in the square?

00:44:29.000 Yeah.

00:44:29.000 It's a self-portrait, supposedly.

00:44:31.000 Well, you know, maybe he just imagined himself as a woman.

00:44:35.000 I mean, that's not necessarily him in drag.

00:44:37.000 Like, I've imagined that before.

00:44:40.000 What would happen if I was born a girl?

00:44:42.000 What would I look like?

00:44:42.000 Would I look the same?

00:44:43.000 I just stare at myself naked in the mirror every day.

00:44:46.000 Yeah, I finger back myself, bro.

00:44:48.000 I just go, yeah.

00:44:49.000 Right here, right here.

00:44:50.000 Yeah, bro.

00:44:51.000 We did it.

00:44:52.000 Look what I got.

00:44:52.000 I got a little one of these for you.

00:44:56.000 Look what I got for you. 1.00

00:44:58.000 Yeah, I dress like a dude just to fuck with people. 1.00

00:45:01.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:45:04.000 Look at my titties! 1.00

00:45:06.000 With Michelangelo, I always used to get them confused with Leonardo da Vinci. 1.00

00:45:13.000 Leonardo da Vinci was the one that invented a bunch of shit, though. 0.99

00:45:15.000 Yeah, he was the renaissance man. 0.99

00:45:18.000 He was also kind of an engineer.

00:45:20.000 He actually made, or at least, it was like a tank.

00:45:27.000 On a plane.

00:45:28.000 An airplane as well.

00:45:29.000 He actually designed weapons of war also.

00:45:33.000 It wasn't just airplanes or at least gliders and helicopters and so forth. 0.98

00:45:38.000 But yeah, look at all the different shit that he came up with. 0.99

00:45:42.000 Yeah, that's his tank. 0.99

00:45:44.000 Wow, so it looks like a spaceship.

00:45:46.000 And you can see there's kind of holes for guns all around it.

00:45:50.000 And it's like wheels. 1.00

00:45:52.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.99

00:45:53.000 I'm not sure if they actually built it or not. 1.00

00:45:55.000 That's like a kill everybody tank.

00:45:57.000 They're so nondescript with where those bullets are going.

00:45:59.000 They're going in 360. 360 degrees.

00:46:03.000 He's spinning that thing around.

00:46:05.000 But yeah, he or she designed weapons of war.

00:46:08.000 But those were cannons, it must have been, right?

00:46:11.000 Probably.

00:46:11.000 That's what it kind of looks like.

00:46:12.000 They didn't have really guns back then, right?

00:46:13.000 Yeah, there you go.

00:46:14.000 There's in that design.

00:46:15.000 Oh, so they're all cannons.

00:46:17.000 Oh, wow.

00:46:18.000 That is crazy.

00:46:19.000 Yeah, no. 0.97

00:46:20.000 He was a freak.

00:46:20.000 He was rad, man.

00:46:22.000 He was awesome.

00:46:22.000 I was hanging out with that guy?

00:46:23.000 Yeah, right?

00:46:25.000 Just, you know, draw me like one of your French girls. 1.00

00:46:28.000 Yeah.

00:46:29.000 How weird.

00:46:31.000 A weird guy.

00:46:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:46:33.000 Michelangelo, it's the Sistine Chapel, and he's actually more of a sculptor than a painter, funny enough.

00:46:38.000 Look at that crossbow he invented.

00:46:39.000 Yeah, but it's like a giant one.

00:46:42.000 Like one of the ones that they killed the Smaug with. 1.00

00:46:45.000 Look at the one, the multi-gun.

00:46:47.000 He almost kind of invented a machine gun.

00:46:49.000 The one left of that.

00:46:51.000 That's a bunch of gun barrels.

00:46:53.000 It's a bunch of gun barrels.

00:46:56.000 It's like the first design for a machine gun, essentially.

00:46:59.000 It shoots in multiple directions.

00:47:02.000 I would really love to talk to an extraordinary person from back then.

00:47:06.000 It must have been so different.

00:47:08.000 Hey, give me some Calam's Casino. 1.00

00:47:10.000 Hey, look at this fucking guy. 1.00

00:47:12.000 Look at the bird. 1.00

00:47:13.000 Look at this airplane thing he made.

00:47:15.000 Yeah, like a glider.

00:47:17.000 Like to talk to Picasso or to talk to Da Vinci or any of these people from... 0.99

00:47:24.000 Exceptional people from a long time ago.

00:47:26.000 Picasso was my favorite, at least when it comes to his paintings and stuff.

00:47:28.000 But I heard he wasn't necessarily the coolest person to be around kind of thing.

00:47:34.000 What was the deal with him? 0.97

00:47:37.000 Crazy, angry artist. 0.95

00:47:38.000 He was very aware that he was Picasso. 0.92

00:47:40.000 He was already the most famous painter in the world and he knew it kind of thing.

00:47:46.000 He actually used to walk around.

00:47:47.000 He didn't carry money.

00:47:48.000 Or a wallet.

00:47:49.000 He'd just carry a pad.

00:47:50.000 So if you want to get a pack of cigarettes, he'd kind of just like, and there you go.

00:47:54.000 What?

00:47:55.000 So he never had to pay for anything because he was Picasso. 1.00

00:47:57.000 He'd just scribble shit? 0.99

00:47:58.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.99

00:47:59.000 And listen, would you accept that trade?

00:48:03.000 A pack of cigarettes for Picasso?

00:48:04.000 Yeah, I'd take that trade.

00:48:06.000 So are those around?

00:48:07.000 Yeah, he actually has a lot of little sketches all around.

00:48:10.000 They're actually quite affordable, at least in terms of owning a Picasso.

00:48:14.000 He was very prolific and just a lot of ink drawings and so forth.

00:48:19.000 I remember there was the SNL sketch.

00:48:21.000 It was like Lovitz was playing Picasso.

00:48:24.000 I think he went around kind of just doing anything he wanted.

00:48:27.000 And he's like, because I'm Picasso! 0.99

00:48:30.000 And he was just being a jerk to everybody. 0.99

00:48:33.000 You can imagine Lovitz doing that. 0.99

00:48:35.000 Because I'm Picasso!

00:48:38.000 That's a good Lovitz impression.

00:48:40.000 Oh, thanks, thanks.

00:48:40.000 There you go.

00:48:41.000 He was on news radio for a whole season.

00:48:43.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:48:44.000 After Phil.

00:48:45.000 Yeah, I hung out with him.

00:48:46.000 He's a good guy.

00:48:47.000 Yeah, I've always, like, every time I've, like, bumped into him.

00:48:49.000 Very, very, very nice.

00:48:51.000 Very nice person.

00:48:51.000 Yeah, really, really sweet.

00:48:52.000 I ran into him with my buddy Seth Green.

00:48:56.000 We went to the Pee Wee Herman Broadway show that they had a bunch of years back.

00:49:01.000 And yeah, I ran into Lovett's there backstage.

00:49:03.000 So it's like, yeah, just like me, Seth Green, Pee Wee Herman, and John Lovett's.

00:49:06.000 And I'm like, this is quite a little get-together.

00:49:10.000 This This is great.

00:49:11.000 This is a great table.

00:49:12.000 Lovitz was doing stand-up for a while.

00:49:14.000 I don't think he's doing it anymore because I don't see him anymore.

00:49:17.000 But a few years back, he was doing a lot of stand-up.

00:49:20.000 He even bought a club.

00:49:23.000 He bought the John Lovitz Comedy Club in Universal.

00:49:26.000 Universal is the worst comedy club design of all time.

00:49:30.000 Well, you know, it's weird that he was actually able to find a club that was already named after him.

00:49:34.000 What are the odds?

00:49:36.000 He bought a place.

00:49:37.000 It used to be the House of Blues.

00:49:38.000 No, it was BB King's Club.

00:49:40.000 It was BB King's Blues Club.

00:49:41.000 And he turned it into the John Lovitz thing.

00:49:45.000 And he was...

00:49:47.000 Wow, that was really interesting.

00:49:49.000 I'm remembering that I saw...

00:49:52.000 Sean Penn had that older brother, that big brother that died.

00:49:56.000 Chris Penn.

00:49:56.000 I saw that guy there play the harmonica.

00:50:00.000 Hammered.

00:50:01.000 Went on stage and played the harmonica.

00:50:04.000 Look at me, I'm Chris Penn.

00:50:05.000 Yeah, it was some weird Hollywood thing, and I was like, wow, imagine that.

00:50:08.000 You're so famous.

00:50:09.000 You just jump on stage at a blues club and play the harmonica, and everybody's happier there.

00:50:14.000 Like, how weird.

00:50:15.000 Yeah.

00:50:16.000 I was hoping it was going to be like Sean Penn jumped up there and did his tight five.

00:50:19.000 That would be strange.

00:50:22.000 John Mayer does stand up.

00:50:24.000 I've heard that.

00:50:25.000 It's very strange.

00:50:25.000 So if you're on stage here, B.B. King's place, if this was a stage, there would be a balcony, but it would be above you, way up there, right above you.

00:50:34.000 So you'd have to look up to see the people that are watching.

00:50:37.000 So they're basically looking straight down on the top of your head.

00:50:40.000 Worst idea for a comic club design ever.

00:50:42.000 Yeah, that doesn't seem right.

00:50:44.000 Not the worst when you're seeing music.

00:50:46.000 You don't necessarily have to be as connected to the person's face.

00:50:50.000 I've been to a place where you were literally right over the band.

00:50:54.000 And that was kind of neat.

00:50:55.000 Watching the drummer from overhead.

00:50:57.000 It's kind of neat.

00:50:58.000 Just watching somebody with a bald spot on the top of their head.

00:51:02.000 Is that it?

00:51:02.000 Yeah, that's really close.

00:51:04.000 Strange.

00:51:05.000 Hey, look at me!

00:51:07.000 Look at me, being funny at my own club.

00:51:11.000 I'm Picasso!

00:51:14.000 I imagined it was taller than that.

00:51:16.000 That's interesting.

00:51:17.000 My memory is not that good.

00:51:19.000 Yeah.

00:51:20.000 You're getting older.

00:51:21.000 Yes. 0.99

00:51:22.000 Well, it's just getting weird because it's got too much shit in there. 0.99

00:51:26.000 My brain has too much information. 0.99

00:51:27.000 It's like you're running out of room almost.

00:51:29.000 Oh, for sure.

00:51:29.000 I'm deleting space on my hard drive for new things.

00:51:32.000 Yeah.

00:51:32.000 And then like, seventh grade?

00:51:34.000 I went to seventh grade?

00:51:34.000 Tell me more.

00:51:35.000 Oh, geez.

00:51:35.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:36.000 What happened there?

00:51:37.000 Let's get rid of that seventh grade.

00:51:38.000 We don't need that anymore.

00:51:40.000 Who needs cursive? 1.00

00:51:41.000 Am I right?

00:51:42.000 I wonder what John's doing.

00:51:44.000 I wonder why he stopped doing stand-up.

00:51:45.000 Because he was actually pretty funny.

00:51:47.000 And it was weird because he was already famous.

00:51:50.000 And one of the things was like, I had tried to encourage Phil Hartman to do stand-up several times because he would do stand-up where he would warm up We're good to

00:52:21.000 go.

00:52:29.000 Huntsville.

00:52:30.000 Huntsville, Alabama.

00:52:31.000 Yeah, August 4th.

00:52:32.000 He's still doing stand-up.

00:52:33.000 Look at that. 0.99

00:52:33.000 He didn't give a fuck. 0.99

00:52:34.000 Look at him out there. 1.00

00:52:35.000 Look at him with those glasses.

00:52:36.000 It's great.

00:52:37.000 He looks happy.

00:52:39.000 He looks happy.

00:52:40.000 He got 14 likes.

00:52:43.000 I'm Jon Lovitz.

00:52:45.000 Look at all the likes.

00:52:47.000 Look at all my likes.

00:52:49.000 Yeah, so he's still doing it.

00:52:51.000 Interesting.

00:52:51.000 Yeah, good for him.

00:52:52.000 Good for him.

00:52:52.000 Like I said, I've always liked him.

00:52:54.000 He's a great guy.

00:52:55.000 When I did SNL, I think it was the first season where he had just left, I think.

00:53:00.000 Because I did it pretty much, probably if I had to pick a season, it would have been the one I did.

00:53:05.000 Because you still had Carvey and you still had, you know, Hartman and Victoria Jackson, the whole kind of group.

00:53:10.000 I forgot about Victoria Jackson. 0.93

00:53:13.000 She was fucking hilarious. 1.00

00:53:15.000 What happened to her? 0.99

00:53:16.000 She's a hardcore conservative now.

00:53:18.000 What?!

00:53:18.000 Yeah, huge, like, right-wing.

00:53:20.000 Come on! 0.61

00:53:20.000 Right-winger. 0.61

00:53:21.000 She's put on a little weight, you know, but haven't we all?

00:53:23.000 Really?

00:53:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:53:25.000 And, like, no, she's actually a hardcore conservative now.

00:53:28.000 Like, she shouts it from the mountaintops.

00:53:31.000 What?!

00:53:31.000 What was she like when you met her?

00:53:33.000 She was fine.

00:53:34.000 I mean, listen.

00:53:35.000 Was she conservative back then?

00:53:36.000 I was busy doing the show kind of thing.

00:53:38.000 You know what I mean?

00:53:39.000 Because it's a lot of work.

00:53:40.000 Sure.

00:53:41.000 Not only that, I had to do it without cue cards because my father didn't want me to use cue cards.

00:53:46.000 So I had to memorize all that stuff. 1.00

00:53:49.000 The fuck, Dad? 1.00

00:53:49.000 Plus the skits I didn't even make into the show. 1.00

00:53:52.000 So I had to memorize skits that didn't even end up in the show.

00:53:54.000 What? 1.00

00:53:55.000 What kind of shit is that, Dad? 1.00

00:53:57.000 Like I said, I had a good memory. 1.00

00:53:59.000 And he didn't want me reading.

00:54:01.000 You can see it.

00:54:02.000 You can see it when people are reading.

00:54:03.000 And he didn't want me doing that.

00:54:05.000 So no cue card.

00:54:06.000 But also that means the other actors...

00:54:09.000 No cue card for them either.

00:54:10.000 Yeah, of course not.

00:54:11.000 Oh, Christ.

00:54:13.000 I'm sure my father made a lot of friends that weekend. 1.00

00:54:18.000 Well, that's fucked up. 0.98

00:54:19.000 How can he dictate whether or not the other actors get cue cards? 0.99

00:54:23.000 I don't know.

00:54:26.000 Because apparently he could.

00:54:29.000 Victoria Jackson's a hardcore conservative.

00:54:31.000 That's so strange to me.

00:54:32.000 Like I said, she shouts it from the mountaintops.

00:54:34.000 Like she's active.

00:54:36.000 So it was that whole kind of group, that kind of late 80s group.

00:54:39.000 But then also it was Mike Myers' second season.

00:54:43.000 It was Schneider, Sandler, Chris Rock.

00:54:48.000 It was that kind of overlap here.

00:54:50.000 So it actually got a really good group.

00:54:53.000 No, that's awesome.

00:54:54.000 That was neat.

00:54:55.000 It's always weird when someone from a TV show gets really political.

00:55:00.000 Yeah.

00:55:01.000 You know?

00:55:02.000 Like Chuck Woolery from The Love Connection.

00:55:05.000 Oh, I know.

00:55:05.000 That guy is...

00:55:07.000 He's so fucking crazy conservative. 1.00

00:55:10.000 Oh, really? 1.00

00:55:10.000 It's nuts. 1.00

00:55:11.000 Yeah, his Twitter feed. 0.93

00:55:12.000 I go to his Twitter feed every now and then just to see what crazy old men conservatives are really interested in. 0.99

00:55:17.000 How often does he use the term fake news?

00:55:20.000 Fake news and the libs...

00:55:22.000 And the Dems.

00:55:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:55:24.000 Yeah, the Dems and the Libs.

00:55:25.000 The alt-rate.

00:55:26.000 Yeah, apparently he's got a radio show.

00:55:32.000 We Make Sense, one of those things.

00:55:36.000 No nonsense.

00:55:37.000 Blunt-forced truth.

00:55:38.000 Blunt Force Truth.

00:55:39.000 There it is.

00:55:40.000 Blunt Force Truth. 1.00

00:55:42.000 You damn liberals. 1.00

00:55:43.000 That sounds like a band from Brooklyn. 1.00

00:55:46.000 Look at it.

00:55:47.000 3D printed firearms are a concern for crime, but criminals will do bad things no matter what.

00:55:52.000 Find out more by listening to Blunt Force Truth.

00:55:56.000 Look at that.

00:55:57.000 It's hashtag BFT. Wow, he's pushing that now.

00:56:01.000 We should listen to some of that, just for he-he's and ha-ha's. 1.00

00:56:04.000 Yeah, I know, right?

00:56:04.000 You should also follow James Woods.

00:56:07.000 Oh goodness, yeah, yeah.

00:56:08.000 It says it right there, right next to you.

00:56:10.000 If you like this, you like that.

00:56:12.000 You like old dudes. 1.00

00:56:14.000 Old dudes who want to put up giant gates. 0.56

00:56:19.000 And they're going to make it solar, too.

00:56:20.000 What happened to actor Peter Fonda?

00:56:22.000 He's super conservative, too, now, isn't he?

00:56:24.000 I don't know that one.

00:56:25.000 Urges Democrats to commit voter fraud.

00:56:28.000 Oh, the opposite.

00:56:29.000 No, I think it's the opposite, yeah.

00:56:30.000 He's a super, super Democrat.

00:56:35.000 Is that right?

00:56:36.000 Oh, Rosie. 0.84

00:56:36.000 Turns feud with Trump into activism. 0.84

00:56:39.000 Bitter Rosie. 0.84

00:56:40.000 All caps.

00:56:42.000 Trump rallies aren't real.

00:56:44.000 His supporters are paid.

00:56:46.000 Blood force truth.

00:56:48.000 Just look at you.

00:56:49.000 Oh, look at that.

00:56:50.000 That's some journalistic integrity from Chuck Woolery.

00:56:53.000 That's his whole thing.

00:56:54.000 His whole thing, though.

00:56:54.000 His whole thing is that now.

00:56:56.000 I think he lives in Texas or something. 0.60

00:56:58.000 I think he escaped California and all the crazy libs.

00:57:01.000 We'll be right back in 2 and 2. Yeah, 2 and 2. I forget the name of that show.

00:57:05.000 I remember I used to like it, the one on the Game Show Network.

00:57:07.000 The one with all the boxes, and it was like letters and stuff. 0.98

00:57:10.000 Fuck, I forget the name of it. 0.98

00:57:13.000 What's that? 1.00

00:57:13.000 He hosted so many shows. 1.00

00:57:15.000 Did he?

00:57:16.000 Yeah.

00:57:16.000 I only remember the Love Connection.

00:57:18.000 He had like 10 maybe.

00:57:20.000 Really?

00:57:20.000 Yeah, the Game Show Network, yeah, like when that launched.

00:57:23.000 They're like, yeah, we can get Chuck Woolery.

00:57:26.000 So, why not? 0.99

00:57:27.000 Well, I'll go on if you let me talk about the damn libs. 1.00

00:57:30.000 Yeah, yeah, exactly. 0.99

00:57:32.000 You know, Trebek was busy.

00:57:34.000 He's already busy on his own thing, but we can get Woolery.

00:57:37.000 Yeah.

00:57:38.000 Mm-hmm.

00:57:38.000 How weird.

00:57:39.000 And what was the guy?

00:57:40.000 Scrabble.

00:57:40.000 Or Lingo too.

00:57:41.000 Lingo.

00:57:42.000 There we go.

00:57:42.000 That's the show.

00:57:44.000 Hey! 0.99

00:57:45.000 Welcome back.

00:57:46.000 I've got a tie and cue cards.

00:57:49.000 Look at that.

00:57:50.000 What is it?

00:57:51.000 It's an E. Oh, look at that. 0.96

00:57:53.000 Look at those two dorks. 1.00

00:57:55.000 I'm wearing sunglasses inside. 0.98

00:57:57.000 I'm on TV. So much judgment.

00:58:00.000 Dude, look at those assholes. 1.00

00:58:02.000 It's fun. 1.00

00:58:02.000 It's fun to do. 1.00

00:58:03.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:58:04.000 It's fun to be judgy.

00:58:05.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:58:06.000 It's fun.

00:58:07.000 It's fun.

00:58:08.000 I actually kind of need to pee.

00:58:09.000 Is that okay?

00:58:10.000 Yeah, go pee, man.

00:58:11.000 Don't worry about it.

00:58:12.000 Are we live?

00:58:12.000 Yeah, but it doesn't matter.

00:58:14.000 I'm going to go pee, guys.

00:58:14.000 Just go pee, dude.

00:58:15.000 We'll talk some shit about Chuck Woolery while you're gone. 0.99

00:58:17.000 Chuck Woolery, Naturally Stoned. 1.00

00:58:20.000 Go vamp. 0.72

00:58:21.000 He did a show called Naturally Stoned?

00:58:23.000 Come on. 1.00

00:58:24.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:58:27.000 He has a what? 1.00

00:58:28.000 He has a Sloan.

00:58:29.000 A song called Naturally Stoned?

00:58:31.000 Oh.

00:58:31.000 What is this?

00:58:33.000 Naturally Stoned, an American reality television show that starred American game show host Chuck Woolery. 0.77

00:58:39.000 Six episodes aired in Game Show Network in 2003 between June 15th and July 27th.

00:58:47.000 Series centered around Woolery and his family, specifically his personal life and his work as a host of Game Show Network's original game show, Lingo.

00:58:55.000 The show...

00:58:57.000 Place strain on both Woolery's workload and his marriage.

00:59:01.000 It says the series title is derived from his top 40 song from his band, The Avant-Garde.

00:59:07.000 What?

00:59:08.000 He had a sh- What?

00:59:09.000 What? 1.00

00:59:10.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:59:11.000 What? 1.00

00:59:12.000 He had a band?

00:59:13.000 Chuck Woolery had a band?

00:59:14.000 American Psychedelic Pop Group. 1.00

00:59:16.000 Get the fuck. 1.00

00:59:17.000 1967. I gotta play this. 1.00

00:59:18.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:59:20.000 You gotta find that song. 0.99

00:59:26.000 A psychedelic pop group?

00:59:28.000 Oh my goodness, Chuck.

00:59:30.000 Naturally Stoned.

00:59:31.000 Psychedelics, but natural.

00:59:33.000 He had a pop band.

00:59:34.000 Yes.

00:59:35.000 Yes.

00:59:36.000 Yes.

00:59:36.000 The song was Naturally Stoned.

00:59:38.000 It was like a Mamas and the Papas-esque, kind of like 60s kind of song.

00:59:43.000 I think he probably was trying to do it on the natch, though.

00:59:46.000 Okay, let's listen to some of this.

00:59:48.000 Oh yeah.

00:59:51.000 That's him right there.

00:59:52.000 Naturally Stoned.

00:59:53.000 Honey and Gall.

00:59:56.000 Who's honey? 1.00

00:59:58.000 I gotta pull this out of you.

00:59:59.000 You gotta pull it off of YouTube, otherwise we'll get pulled.

01:00:02.000 So the people listening on YouTube, you gotta go Google avant-garde, naturally stoned.

01:00:08.000 The people that are listening on Google Play and iTunes and all that shit, you can hear this. 0.92

01:00:14.000 Yeah, no, it's very like incense and peppermints kind of thing. 0.93

01:00:18.000 It's not terrible.

01:00:18.000 Mm-hmm.

01:00:22.000 Like, yeah.

01:00:24.000 Okay, it just got terrible.

01:00:26.000 Keep going.

01:00:29.000 Oh my god.

01:00:33.000 Sounds groovy, man.

01:00:35.000 Yeah.

01:00:36.000 Like I'm naturally stoned.

01:00:39.000 He's stoned.

01:00:40.000 Naturally stoned.

01:00:42.000 And there's Chuck.

01:00:43.000 Wow, look at Chuck up front.

01:00:45.000 We'll be right back in 2 and 2. Yeah, 2 and 2. He's got wooden beads on.

01:00:49.000 Is that wooden beads around his neck, too?

01:00:51.000 Yeah.

01:00:51.000 They both do.

01:00:51.000 They're like, look, guys, we got beads on.

01:00:53.000 We're cool.

01:00:54.000 I feel like I'm at a party on Hate Ashbery or something like that in the late 60s.

01:00:58.000 I want to find the guy in the back with his hand on his hip. 0.99

01:01:00.000 See what the fuck he's up to these days. 0.99

01:01:02.000 Maybe he's the other guy. 1.00

01:01:02.000 That's Pat Sajak. 1.00

01:01:04.000 Pat Sajak.

01:01:07.000 Honey and Gall.

01:01:09.000 Like, what is that?

01:01:10.000 I think that's the name of the album.

01:01:12.000 Oh, that's the name of the album.

01:01:13.000 Oh, I don't know, actually.

01:01:14.000 No, it's probably the B-side.

01:01:16.000 Elkin Bubba Fowler.

01:01:17.000 Elkin's got a duck hunting show on the Sportsman's Channel now.

01:01:23.000 This guy?

01:01:23.000 No, I'm just kidding.

01:01:25.000 I'm kidding.

01:01:26.000 What is he doing now?

01:01:27.000 There's a Leonard Cohen thing on there.

01:01:29.000 Leonard Cohen album or something.

01:01:30.000 Oh, yeah.

01:01:32.000 The avant-garde.

01:01:33.000 How strange.

01:01:35.000 There he is.

01:01:36.000 I think Blunt Force Truth is a better name for a band than the avant-garde.

01:01:40.000 Yeah, it is, right?

01:01:41.000 Yeah, tonight at the pit.

01:01:43.000 Blunt Force Truth.

01:01:44.000 You don't want to know the truth, but I'm going to tell you.

01:01:47.000 It's blunt.

01:01:49.000 Blunt Force.

01:01:50.000 What a weird name for a show.

01:01:52.000 Blunt Force Truth.

01:01:54.000 Spitting hot truth right in your face.

01:01:56.000 Spitting it. 0.87

01:01:56.000 Just spitting it. 0.87

01:01:57.000 Spitting hot fire that you don't want to hear. 1.00

01:01:59.000 Top shit. 1.00

01:02:00.000 Hot fire. 1.00

01:02:01.000 Wake up, kids.

01:02:02.000 I always loved that line from Chappelle.

01:02:04.000 It was like, ah, you know, I spit hot fire.

01:02:06.000 And it was just like, as if there's cold fire.

01:02:10.000 I'm spitting hot fire right in your ear. 0.99

01:02:12.000 Cold fusion.

01:02:15.000 That's so strange, that whole thing, that he was in a band.

01:02:19.000 Yep.

01:02:20.000 The avant-garde, too.

01:02:21.000 Gosh, that is so, like, of that era.

01:02:24.000 It's so funny when those old dudes get, like, real...

01:02:26.000 Oh, look at that.

01:02:27.000 Chuck Lurie from 1974. Look at that hair.

01:02:30.000 Check out the Burns.

01:02:31.000 Very Jay Leno-esque in that photo.

01:02:32.000 Yeah!

01:02:33.000 Look at him here.

01:02:34.000 Give me some volume.

01:02:35.000 Let me hear him sing.

01:02:36.000 Here he goes.

01:02:40.000 Oh my gosh.

01:02:45.000 I mean, he definitely has a nice voice.

01:02:47.000 Yeah, it's not a bad voice.

01:02:51.000 Oh, I've heard this song before.

01:02:57.000 This is a cover.

01:02:59.000 This is a cover.

01:03:02.000 You make me so very happy.

01:03:07.000 Yeah, this is a cover. 1.00

01:03:10.000 Okay, kill this before I die. 0.64

01:03:11.000 How do you go from the avant-garde to hosting the dating game or whatever? 0.99

01:03:17.000 Because this isn't good.

01:03:18.000 Yeah, there you go.

01:03:21.000 That's a weird transition.

01:03:22.000 Well, he's a handsome guy, probably a good talker, and his agent was like, Chuck, Chuck, Chuck, I'm telling you, the music is not your thing.

01:03:31.000 Hosting.

01:03:31.000 I'm going to give you the blunt force truth.

01:03:33.000 You don't want to hear it, but I'm going to tell you.

01:03:36.000 Game show host.

01:03:37.000 He's like, I like that phrase.

01:03:38.000 You've got to look.

01:03:39.000 You got a look, Chuck.

01:03:40.000 The look is game show host.

01:03:42.000 You got it.

01:03:43.000 You have it.

01:03:43.000 Listen, how about you being on the game show network?

01:03:46.000 What do you think about that, fella?

01:03:47.000 Does anyone actually ever aspire to be a game show host?

01:03:50.000 Oh, for sure.

01:03:51.000 I know, but when you're a kid, you know what I mean?

01:03:54.000 You want to be an astronaut or whatever.

01:03:56.000 There's got to be someone who watches Price is Right.

01:03:58.000 Zach Morris from Saved by the Bell, he wanted to be a game show host.

01:04:01.000 But he's not a real person.

01:04:02.000 I know.

01:04:03.000 I'm just saying.

01:04:04.000 I'm just making conversation. 1.00

01:04:05.000 Right now, there's some kid right now whose fucking dream you just shattered. 1.00

01:04:08.000 Macaulay Culkin just mocked my dream! 1.00

01:04:11.000 No! 1.00

01:04:12.000 You piece of shit! 1.00

01:04:13.000 I was asking a question. 1.00

01:04:14.000 It was a legit question.

01:04:15.000 Like, you know, like, yeah, do people aspire to be game show hosts?

01:04:18.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:04:18.000 Because I know in the UK, like, host is a thing that people aspire to be.

01:04:22.000 Right.

01:04:22.000 Like, I ask somebody, what are you doing?

01:04:24.000 He's like, I host.

01:04:25.000 I'm like, what does that mean?

01:04:26.000 They're usually a panelist on a show.

01:04:28.000 Television presenter.

01:04:29.000 Yeah, a presenter.

01:04:30.000 Exactly.

01:04:31.000 Yes, a presenter.

01:04:33.000 That song actually gave them so much of a hit that they were a one-hit wonder then, and he had to become a truck driver to supplement his income.

01:04:44.000 He then signed on as a solo artist, had five more songs on his own.

01:04:49.000 Didn't obviously work out that well.

01:04:51.000 Then he became the first host of Wheel of Fortune in 1975. What?

01:04:54.000 There you go.

01:04:56.000 What?

01:04:57.000 What do you know?

01:04:58.000 Pat St. Jack's been doing it since 1981. That's crazy.

01:05:01.000 So how long did he do it for?

01:05:03.000 Six years.

01:05:03.000 He did Wheel of Fortune for six years?

01:05:05.000 Jeez.

01:05:06.000 What year did it start?

01:05:08.000 75. So it was a year after that, after that thing we just watched.

01:05:11.000 So it was one year later.

01:05:12.000 I hope he still had that hair, that mane of hair of his.

01:05:15.000 He still does, I think.

01:05:16.000 Salt and pepper.

01:05:17.000 Yeah, those little sideburns, the mutton chops.

01:05:21.000 Old school ones, go down to your job. 1.00

01:05:22.000 Salary dispute is the reason why it wasn't hosted. 0.99

01:05:25.000 Fucked up, Chuck. 0.78

01:05:26.000 And then did it go straight to Sajak? 1.00

01:05:28.000 Imagine if he fucking turns it on and it's still on the air. 0.99

01:05:30.000 He's like, still! 1.00

01:05:32.000 Fucking still! 0.99

01:05:33.000 I could've been prison money by now! 1.00

01:05:35.000 My agent's a piece of shit! 1.00

01:05:38.000 That's the blunt force truth. 1.00

01:05:39.000 You wanna know the blunt force truth? 0.98

01:05:40.000 I fucked up with my contract negotiations. 0.88

01:05:43.000 I have regrets. 0.94

01:05:44.000 That's the truth.

01:05:45.000 Maybe he didn't want to do it anymore.

01:05:46.000 Maybe that's what it was.

01:05:47.000 Contract negotiations.

01:05:48.000 But then he went straight into the dating game or whatever.

01:05:50.000 It's a better show.

01:05:50.000 Get to see chicks.

01:05:51.000 I guess so.

01:05:52.000 They're trying to get laid. 1.00

01:05:53.000 Yeah, I guess so.

01:05:54.000 That's what you got.

01:05:55.000 You got chicks and dudes trying to get laid. 1.00

01:05:57.000 You're a facilitator.

01:05:58.000 You're putting love together.

01:05:59.000 I mean, you know who got the most action was Richard Dawson.

01:06:02.000 Family Feud.

01:06:03.000 Oh, yeah.

01:06:04.000 He always kissed every lady on the lips.

01:06:06.000 That's true.

01:06:06.000 Even the ones that were underage.

01:06:07.000 Did you ever see that movie with Richard Dawson?

01:06:12.000 The guy who was in Hogan's Heroes with him. 0.99

01:06:16.000 What was that fucking movie? 0.99

01:06:17.000 Oh, like... 1.00

01:06:18.000 The movie about that guy...

01:06:19.000 That's not Super 8. Something like that.

01:06:22.000 8mm?

01:06:23.000 Yeah, it's one of those.

01:06:24.000 It's not that.

01:06:25.000 16mm?

01:06:25.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:06:26.000 The movie where...

01:06:27.000 What was that guy's name?

01:06:29.000 He was apparently...

01:06:31.000 He was the guy who was the star of Hogan's Heroes, and then he just became the freak of the week.

01:06:35.000 He just became a... 0.91

01:06:36.000 He was homemade porno all the time. 0.94

01:06:38.000 That's all he did. 0.94

01:06:39.000 That's all he did. 0.84

01:06:40.000 And then they think the guy he did porn with killed him.

01:06:45.000 I believe his murder was never solved, but there was some sort of extenuating circumstances that connected...

01:06:54.000 His porn buddy.

01:06:56.000 The guy who was in the movie. 0.94

01:06:57.000 I think they...

01:06:58.000 Maybe that was what they implied in the movie.

01:07:00.000 I think that was what it was.

01:07:01.000 Well, if it was in a movie, it has to be true.

01:07:03.000 Uh-huh.

01:07:03.000 Yeah, you know it.

01:07:04.000 They don't ever lie, man.

01:07:05.000 True crime.

01:07:06.000 That's the thing about movies. 0.99

01:07:07.000 When they do a story about your life, they don't change shit. 1.00

01:07:09.000 Fuck no. 1.00

01:07:10.000 They literally get every word right. 1.00

01:07:13.000 Otherwise, they would lose credibility.

01:07:15.000 Mm-hmm.

01:07:15.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:07:17.000 Yeah, there's movies where they change shit. 0.97

01:07:19.000 You're like, why did you change that? 0.99

01:07:21.000 They just decide.

01:07:23.000 Historical things.

01:07:25.000 They always say, oh, it's creative license, or we have to condense things because a person's life is so long, and things like that.

01:07:32.000 Do you remember that movie about, the movie with, it was with, what's his name from The Office?

01:07:41.000 Carell?

01:07:42.000 Yeah, Steve Carell.

01:07:43.000 He played that...

01:07:45.000 Foxcatcher?

01:07:46.000 Foxcatcher.

01:07:46.000 Yeah, we were both thinking the same thing.

01:07:48.000 I was just waiting to get the description, because I was going to say, Foxcatcher?

01:07:50.000 And he'd be like, no, not that.

01:07:51.000 That movie's based on two very famous wrestlers, Dave Schultz and Mark Schultz. 0.99

01:07:55.000 And in the movie, they put a ton of bullshit in there. 0.99

01:07:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:07:59.000 And, I mean, a lot of it. 1.00

01:08:01.000 Mark was furious when the movie came out.

01:08:03.000 Yeah, I remember reading that, yeah.

01:08:04.000 And he went on a crazy, wild Twitter storm.

01:08:06.000 But then, after the end of the movie, there's a historic moment in that, In that movie, that they just completely made up.

01:08:14.000 Like, he fought this guy named Big Daddy Goodrich in the UFC. I mean, it's sports history.

01:08:20.000 That sounds like a WWE wrestler.

01:08:23.000 I know it does.

01:08:23.000 He could have been a WWE wrestler.

01:08:26.000 But Big Daddy Goodrich, who's, you know, really a pioneer in MMA fighting, was this... 0.99

01:08:33.000 Big fucking jack black guy who wore a gi. 1.00

01:08:37.000 He wore a traditional karate gi into the octagon. 1.00

01:08:40.000 In the movie, they have him fighting a white guy.

01:08:44.000 A Russian guy.

01:08:45.000 Whitewashing. 0.99

01:08:45.000 They just decided, they don't want to see black guys. 0.99

01:08:49.000 This is America. 0.99

01:08:51.000 We have to fight the Russians. 1.00

01:08:52.000 I was like, why would you change the race and the name of the guy he fought?

01:08:57.000 Yeah, that just seems like weird and like petty almost.

01:09:00.000 No, you know what it is?

01:09:00.000 It's just weird.

01:09:01.000 It's just greasy producers who think they're smart.

01:09:04.000 You've been around them. 1.00

01:09:05.000 You know those fucks. 1.00

01:09:06.000 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1.00

01:09:07.000 Tell me more.

01:09:08.000 Let me tell you.

01:09:09.000 I'm going to give you the blunt force truth on greasy producers.

01:09:12.000 Right in your face. 0.96

01:09:12.000 Spitting hot fire right in your ear. 0.96

01:09:14.000 Right in your face, you fucking libs. 1.00

01:09:18.000 They just decide they're smarter than everybody, and they know better. 1.00

01:09:22.000 They know how to change history and make it a better show.

01:09:25.000 Yeah.

01:09:25.000 Like I said, it was the 80s, so yes, it has to be against a Russian kind of thing.

01:09:30.000 It was in the 80s.

01:09:31.000 Well, I'm saying it takes place.

01:09:32.000 Doesn't it take place?

01:09:32.000 No, it takes place in the 90s.

01:09:33.000 Never mind.

01:09:34.000 90s, yeah.

01:09:35.000 I think he fought in 1995 or something like that.

01:09:39.000 Because I know Kurt Angle, like I know, trained in that facility, the fox catcher.

01:09:43.000 Yeah.

01:09:44.000 A lot of guys did.

01:09:45.000 He's talked about that.

01:09:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:09:46.000 How crazy that guy was just decided to set up some wrestling things so he could get weird with these dudes.

01:09:51.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:09:52.000 He wanted a bunch of strong, sweaty men rubbing up against each other.

01:09:57.000 I bet you those wrestlers when they're training, I bet you whoever they're training with knows their body better than their wives. 1.00

01:10:05.000 It's a really intimate thing.

01:10:07.000 I bet you they know every curve of their training.

01:10:11.000 Hey, you losing weight here, Tom?

01:10:12.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:10:13.000 When I cinch this grip around your waist, it just feels like a little easier now.

01:10:18.000 I like it.

01:10:19.000 That is an intimate sport.

01:10:21.000 You're putting on some shoulder muscle, buddy.

01:10:23.000 Look at that.

01:10:23.000 Look at this up here.

01:10:25.000 Are you a little sore there?

01:10:25.000 You know, sciatica?

01:10:27.000 Something's twitching in your buttocks. 0.96

01:10:30.000 Yeah, remember when he was, like, in the movie? 0.94

01:10:32.000 Steve Carell was so good in that movie.

01:10:34.000 I loved him in that, yeah.

01:10:35.000 God, he played that creep so well, because he played it like a guy who's, like, a loose cannon.

01:10:41.000 Yeah.

01:10:42.000 Creepy, weird, loose cannon.

01:10:43.000 The small, you know, the way he kind of, like, his movements and his speech.

01:10:46.000 Like, it was good.

01:10:47.000 It was good.

01:10:48.000 Remember when he decided he was going to coach?

01:10:51.000 And coach the wrestlers and show them how to do certain moves?

01:10:55.000 And everybody just sort of tolerated it?

01:10:57.000 Yeah, they're kind of like, oh, just let him have this one.

01:10:59.000 So strange.

01:11:00.000 But what a great scene.

01:11:02.000 But here's the thing.

01:11:03.000 That scene was so good.

01:11:06.000 But now I know you lied at the end.

01:11:08.000 So I know you lied at the end of the movie.

01:11:09.000 So now I go, well, did you make up that scene too?

01:11:11.000 It starts losing credibility.

01:11:12.000 I did watch a doc about that.

01:11:14.000 I think there's a 30 for 30. About the Foxcatcher Institute or whatever it was.

01:11:19.000 Well, there was a lot of footage on that guy and Carell fucking nailed it. 0.92

01:11:23.000 He nailed that guy. 0.98

01:11:24.000 John DuPont.

01:11:26.000 What a strange, strange guy that guy was.

01:11:30.000 Mr. DuPont.

01:11:31.000 That's an unfortunate thing about those wrestlers.

01:11:34.000 There's no real professional venue other than fighting if they want to go into MMA. And he was a coach at Brigham Young, Mark Schultz was, and he fought one time in the UFC and then just stayed...

01:11:46.000 I don't think they wanted him doing it.

01:11:47.000 I think that was part of the dispute.

01:11:50.000 I believe it was Brigham Young.

01:11:52.000 The school that he was coaching for was like, listen, you want to coach here, you can't be cage fighting.

01:11:56.000 Especially early MMA was not respected at all.

01:12:00.000 I remember John McCain trying to...

01:12:01.000 It was a blood sport.

01:12:03.000 Yeah, but you know what that was about?

01:12:04.000 That was about Budweiser.

01:12:06.000 Because Budweiser sponsored boxing, and MMA was doing very well with pay-per-view back then, and they wanted to stop it in its tracks, and Budweiser was a big part of that, and Budweiser sort of got behind him.

01:12:19.000 It's all greasy.

01:12:20.000 Yeah, I mean, the boxing world is so greasy, because I'm a fight fan.

01:12:23.000 At least, like, boxing, I was always kind of raised that way.

01:12:26.000 I do follow it.

01:12:28.000 I've only recently kind of gotten into the MMA kind of stuff.

01:12:32.000 I've gone to some shows.

01:12:33.000 Going to see any sporting event is always great live.

01:12:36.000 Do you go to live boxing matches, though?

01:12:38.000 I haven't in a while, but yeah.

01:12:40.000 I used to go to...

01:12:41.000 I saw Holyfield Moore 1. Did you really?

01:12:44.000 Yeah, I saw Holyfield Bow 1. Wow!

01:12:48.000 Things like that.

01:12:48.000 During that kind of peak.

01:12:50.000 That 90s era.

01:12:52.000 Did a lot of those.

01:12:55.000 Yeah.

01:12:56.000 Those were great.

01:12:57.000 But that stuff is so greasy.

01:12:59.000 I remember the first Holyfield-Lewis, how that ended in a draw so they could double up their money and stuff.

01:13:06.000 I don't remember that fight.

01:13:07.000 I don't remember Holyfield versus Lewis at all.

01:13:09.000 Yeah, they fought twice.

01:13:11.000 Did Lewis win the first time?

01:13:12.000 No, draw the first time.

01:13:14.000 But should he have won?

01:13:15.000 Yeah.

01:13:16.000 You know, Loser was a great boxer, but at the same time, I just remember being driven nuts, like, where he was, like, where his, like, belt, like, up to here.

01:13:25.000 Like, it was, like, way past his belly button.

01:13:27.000 And he's already, like, 6'6 already.

01:13:30.000 And it's kind of just like, yeah, like, he's wearing that thing too high.

01:13:33.000 Like, you know, like, he's getting away with murder.

01:13:35.000 Like, you know, kind of thing.

01:13:36.000 Yeah, it should have, you know, yeah.

01:13:38.000 I'm surprised he got away with that, you know, that equipment.

01:13:40.000 But most referees will tell you, you can hit him here.

01:13:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:13:45.000 But, you know, like I said, it was kind of just, it felt like an unfair advantage, especially for a guy who was like, like I said, 6'6".

01:13:51.000 Already enormous.

01:13:53.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:13:54.000 Like, you know, so it's even higher than normal.

01:13:55.000 And that would be a big target for somebody who's like, only like, you know.

01:13:58.000 So you follow boxing today, though?

01:14:00.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:14:01.000 I'm really looking forward.

01:14:02.000 You know, I want to see Wilder versus Joshua.

01:14:04.000 Look, that's what I want to see.

01:14:05.000 I don't think that's going to happen for a while.

01:14:07.000 Yeah.

01:14:07.000 Tyson Fury, though, he's kind of back in the ring.

01:14:10.000 Tyson Fury might fuck them all up. 0.98

01:14:11.000 That's the problem. 0.98

01:14:12.000 I know.

01:14:13.000 They're all big guys, too. 0.91

01:14:14.000 They are big guys, but Tyson Fury looks fucking fantastic.

01:14:17.000 There's some footage on his Instagram of him doing pad work, and he's fighting really soon. 0.94

01:14:23.000 He just fought a warm-up, some journeyman kind of thing.

01:14:27.000 But he's got a bout coming up.

01:14:29.000 Tyson does.

01:14:30.000 I think it just happened.

01:14:32.000 Or does he have another one coming up?

01:14:34.000 I'm pretty sure he's got another one.

01:14:36.000 I'm a big Deontay Wilder fan.

01:14:37.000 I am too.

01:14:38.000 Yeah.

01:14:39.000 He's a wild man.

01:14:40.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:14:40.000 Unorthodox.

01:14:41.000 And man, the way he fucking slugs. 1.00

01:14:43.000 Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:14:44.000 Vicious, vicious power.

01:14:45.000 Oh yeah, I watched some of those highlight reels.

01:14:47.000 He's very dangerous.

01:14:49.000 Give that guy a seizure.

01:14:50.000 There was that one where, boom, the guy lands and he's flopping around like a fish.

01:14:54.000 Jesus Christ. 0.99

01:14:55.000 He hits fucking hard. 1.00

01:14:56.000 Because he's like 6'7". 0.99

01:14:57.000 He's a big dude.

01:14:58.000 He is.

01:14:59.000 Long, too.

01:14:59.000 Like, crazy leverage.

01:15:01.000 Yeah, because he really snaps his right.

01:15:03.000 Like, boom.

01:15:04.000 Yeah, the recent one.

01:15:05.000 Yeah.

01:15:05.000 Came back from losing that fight and then stopped Ortiz.

01:15:09.000 I thought it showed that he's got heart.

01:15:13.000 He's got a pretty okay chin.

01:15:15.000 He knows how to recover.

01:15:16.000 Who's your favorite fighter to watch?

01:15:18.000 Right now?

01:15:19.000 Yeah.

01:15:19.000 Like I said, I really do love watching Wilder, like right now.

01:15:23.000 Triple G's good.

01:15:24.000 Yeah, I love Triple G. Yeah, yeah.

01:15:26.000 He might be like an all-timer kind of thing.

01:15:29.000 I just wish he had more comp.

01:15:31.000 Look how good this guy looks.

01:15:32.000 Six foot nine.

01:15:33.000 Give me some volume on this so I can hear this.

01:15:35.000 And he's thick, too.

01:15:38.000 But he's showing how slick he is, because he's not just big.

01:15:43.000 He's big and long, but...

01:15:45.000 He toyed with Klitschko.

01:15:47.000 Saturday the 18th.

01:15:48.000 He toyed with Klitschko.

01:15:50.000 Yeah, man. 0.99

01:15:51.000 Dude, he's fucking good. 0.99

01:15:53.000 And he gives people fits. 0.99

01:15:55.000 Yeah, the new rumor is supposed to be Wilder vs.

01:15:57.000 Fury.

01:15:58.000 Now that Joshua talks of not happening.

01:16:01.000 Well, yeah.

01:16:03.000 Tyson Fury could fuck up that whole thing, man.

01:16:06.000 So it's the 18th of August.

01:16:08.000 And they're both a little unorthodox, too, so it'd be actually interesting to see him square off with Wilder. 0.99

01:16:12.000 Fuck yeah! 0.99

01:16:13.000 And they're both super long. 1.00

01:16:14.000 Yeah.

01:16:15.000 That would be very interesting.

01:16:17.000 It'd probably be the first time Wilder's finding somebody who's bigger than him.

01:16:19.000 Not just bigger, but super slick.

01:16:22.000 He's going to give them fits.

01:16:23.000 I mean, look, Wilder can knock out anybody, but Tyson Fury, he'll give you fits.

01:16:29.000 Because Wilder is like, what, like 37-0 with 36 knockouts.

01:16:32.000 He's only gone the distance once.

01:16:34.000 I know, it's crazy.

01:16:35.000 That's a crazy record.

01:16:37.000 Yep.

01:16:37.000 It's Tyson-esque, like young Tyson-esque, but they're completely different fighters.

01:16:41.000 Young Tyson was just so tight, and Wilder, he puts his hands down.

01:16:46.000 He wants to counterpunch.

01:16:47.000 That's his whole thing.

01:16:48.000 You know what's interesting is people still don't believe in him.

01:16:50.000 I had heard that the Anthony Joshua fight, I would think that that would be a pretty evenly matched fight.

01:16:56.000 People are like, no, no, Joshua's heads above everybody else.

01:17:00.000 I'm not so sure.

01:17:02.000 He's taking on some good challenges, though.

01:17:04.000 Joshua can go.

01:17:05.000 He's amazing.

01:17:06.000 Don't get me wrong, but he got knocked down by Klitschko.

01:17:09.000 Tyson Fury toured with Klitschko.

01:17:11.000 Yeah, putting his hands behind his back.

01:17:15.000 Maybe it was not the same as prepared as Klitschko.

01:17:18.000 You know, fighters are different for every fighter.

01:17:20.000 Yeah, and Klitschko's aging, obviously, at that point. 0.99

01:17:24.000 Yeah, but I just think that that style, that Tyson Fury style, avoid that shit like measles. 0.99

01:17:30.000 Get away. 0.98

01:17:31.000 Yeah, there's a reason why Joshua doesn't want to fight Wilder or Fury.

01:17:34.000 Yeah.

01:17:35.000 Because also, he is the top draw right now.

01:17:37.000 Like, he can sell out, like, you know, like, 40-50,000 in his home country.

01:17:41.000 Whereas, like, Wilder, like, in his home state, he fights a lot in Alabama.

01:17:44.000 Like, it's like 10,000 or something like that.

01:17:46.000 Right.

01:17:46.000 Like, you know, so Joshua's a bigger draw.

01:17:48.000 Right.

01:17:48.000 Well, I think Wilder's becoming a bigger draw nationally now.

01:17:53.000 I think that's also one of the things with boxing.

01:17:56.000 They're always trying to figure out, when do we make this fight?

01:17:59.000 Do we make it now, or do we wait a couple of months?

01:18:01.000 Do we wait a year?

01:18:02.000 Two undefeated champions fight each other.

01:18:04.000 That doesn't really happen that often, especially in the heavyweight division.

01:18:07.000 I know.

01:18:07.000 It could be something that's really special.

01:18:09.000 Someone could fuck up and lose. 0.99

01:18:11.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.99

01:18:12.000 Especially.

01:18:13.000 It could be Mayweather-Pacquiao all over again, where it's like, it happened, but it happened too late.

01:18:18.000 Right, exactly, yeah. 0.99

01:18:20.000 So, stay the fuck away from Tyson Fury, kids. 0.98

01:18:22.000 What did you think about the McGregor-Mayweather fight? 0.99

01:18:27.000 He did much better than I thought he was going to do.

01:18:29.000 Yeah, me too.

01:18:30.000 But I think...

01:18:31.000 That Mayweather was probably wanting to wear him out and so allowed him to...

01:18:37.000 But he did catch Mayweather with a very clean left hand.

01:18:40.000 He was rabbit punching the whole time.

01:18:41.000 That was driving me insane. 0.95

01:18:42.000 Just kept on punching the back of his head. 0.75

01:18:44.000 I'm surprised that the ref...

01:18:46.000 He was hammer fisting him too.

01:18:47.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:18:48.000 You can't do that.

01:18:50.000 I'm surprised the ref...

01:18:51.000 Let him get away with murder.

01:18:52.000 I think he wanted to frustrate him.

01:18:55.000 I think he wanted to frustrate Mayweather and get Mayweather to try to slug with him.

01:18:58.000 To open up.

01:18:58.000 Yeah, because Mayweather's defense is super tight.

01:19:01.000 Fantastic.

01:19:01.000 And no, he came in there...

01:19:02.000 Mayweather fought a perfect kind of fight.

01:19:04.000 He's like, I'm going to let this guy gas himself out.

01:19:06.000 And that's exactly what he did.

01:19:07.000 Because Mayweather's not a knockout artist, but he knocked him out.

01:19:10.000 He definitely stopped him.

01:19:11.000 But Conor's not known for his cardio.

01:19:13.000 He's a fast twitch guy.

01:19:14.000 Yeah.

01:19:15.000 I think it was when they opened up the books for that fight, it was a thousand to one for McGregor to win by decision.

01:19:23.000 Listen, I almost put a grand on that just anyway, just on principle.

01:19:29.000 I just won a million dollars.

01:19:34.000 I mean, there's a reason why it was 1,001, but I kind of want to just sit there and turn to my friends like, I think I just won a million dollars.

01:19:39.000 Do you know how crazy that would be to win a million dollars by putting down a thousand?

01:19:42.000 Like a thousand dollar bet? 1.00

01:19:43.000 Holy shit. 1.00

01:19:46.000 There's been some crazy, but those bets are nuts. 0.99

01:19:48.000 Like, will it make it out of the first round?

01:19:51.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:19:51.000 By decision.

01:19:52.000 They even have, like, disqualification bets.

01:19:55.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:19:56.000 Like, exactly.

01:19:56.000 I used to play a lot of cards.

01:19:58.000 I love prop bets.

01:20:00.000 Just, like, you know, in that moment, it's like, I bet you I can guess within, you know, $100 how many chips are in front of you right now.

01:20:07.000 Like, you know, that kind of stuff.

01:20:08.000 Or it's like, alright, like, you know...

01:20:11.000 Give me a 1 in 10 chance that you pull out a dollar bill from your pocket and whatever the last number is.

01:20:16.000 If I get it right, you can pay me 10 to 1. Just weird prop bets.

01:20:22.000 Players kind of go nuts with that kind of stuff.

01:20:24.000 Well, gambling junkies do, right?

01:20:25.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:20:27.000 Look, I remember I was playing cards at this one club and this guy just was sports betting like crazy.

01:20:34.000 But now it's like 2 in the morning, 3 in the morning.

01:20:37.000 And he's looking down and he goes, does anyone know anything about cricket?

01:20:41.000 And, like, that was the only game that was going on.

01:20:42.000 There was a cricket game in India.

01:20:44.000 And he was like, yeah, I'm gonna, like, lay...

01:20:45.000 I was like, dude, you actually have a problem.

01:20:47.000 Like, that's, like, you know, yeah.

01:20:48.000 Like, you have to, like...

01:20:49.000 Like, that's a problem!

01:20:50.000 You're betting on cricket!

01:20:51.000 What are you doing, man?

01:20:52.000 It's two in the morning!

01:20:55.000 Anyone know anything about cricket?

01:20:56.000 Well, that's the crazy thing about those sports books. 1.00

01:20:58.000 You look up and watch that shit. 1.00

01:21:00.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:21:00.000 Like, here's a bunch of horses! 1.00

01:21:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:21:03.000 Who's gonna win?

01:21:04.000 I've actually, I have a buddy who does, like, is into the races and stuff like that.

01:21:08.000 And, like, he streams it from, like, all...

01:21:09.000 It is kind of fun.

01:21:11.000 Horse racing?

01:21:12.000 Yeah.

01:21:12.000 It's kind of like, but you kind of just randomly, like, just like, I'll, sure, number eight.

01:21:17.000 And then just like, you know, come on, eight.

01:21:19.000 I knew a guy who got banned for life from chariot races.

01:21:22.000 For trying to rig a race.

01:21:24.000 His horse was winning and his horse wasn't supposed to win.

01:21:28.000 He's literally standing up, pulling back on the reins as his horse was winning.

01:21:35.000 He's like, come on!

01:21:36.000 He's trying to slow him down.

01:21:37.000 Quit it! 0.98

01:21:38.000 Cut that shit! 1.00

01:21:39.000 Cut that shit off! 1.00

01:21:40.000 His name was George the Greek. 1.00

01:21:41.000 That's what he used to call him.

01:21:42.000 Wow.

01:21:43.000 Guy from Pool Hall in White Plains, New York.

01:21:45.000 Yeah, the Greek is like, yeah, because there was Jimmy the Greek back in the day.

01:21:50.000 Yeah, he was always trying to, like, he was always telling us.

01:21:53.000 What is that?

01:21:53.000 It's a little vape.

01:21:54.000 Oh, no, go ahead.

01:21:55.000 He was always telling us that he was going to win the lawsuit.

01:21:59.000 I got a counselor.

01:22:00.000 Yeah, Kunstler was his lawyer.

01:22:02.000 I got Kunstler working on the case. 1.00

01:22:04.000 I got this fucking thing. 0.99

01:22:05.000 I got him locked down. 1.00

01:22:07.000 Chariot racing.

01:22:08.000 How do you get into chariot racing? 1.00

01:22:10.000 You gotta be an asshole. 1.00

01:22:11.000 I mean, obviously you need... 1.00

01:22:13.000 If it's a sport...

01:22:15.000 But how do you fall into that line of work?

01:22:19.000 Or, again, when you're a kid, you're going, when I grow up, I want to be a chariot racer.

01:22:23.000 Maybe you watch a lot of that movie with...

01:22:26.000 Kirk Douglas, didn't they?

01:22:28.000 Spartacus.

01:22:28.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

01:22:29.000 Just like imagining himself with a bow and arrow in the back.

01:22:33.000 Yeah, with those crazy wrist plates. 0.97

01:22:35.000 Wear those big-ass bracelets. 0.91

01:22:38.000 Yeah, exactly.

01:22:38.000 Some Greaves.

01:22:39.000 That was a crazy movie because if you look at the difference between Spartacus and 300, right?

01:22:44.000 Yeah.

01:22:45.000 If you look at Spartacus, they had normal bodies, like guys that just ate toast and didn't work out.

01:22:50.000 Back in the Roman days, I'd be considered tall.

01:22:54.000 I'm 5'7".

01:22:55.000 A lot of those soldiers and Spartans and a lot of the Romans, they were like 5'5". 0.99

01:23:00.000 Because they probably had no food.

01:23:01.000 Yeah, there was a lot of malnutrition.

01:23:04.000 I was going to say malnutrition, but it wasn't straight malnutrition, it just wasn't good nutrition kind of thing.

01:23:10.000 A lot of salt pork, that kind of thing.

01:23:14.000 A lot of weird flatbreads.

01:23:16.000 Not a lot of greens.

01:23:20.000 A lot of just grain and salted beef.

01:23:23.000 It was probably really hard to get good food back then.

01:23:26.000 As you're growing up, you probably were always malnourished.

01:23:30.000 And no one was fat either, right?

01:23:31.000 It's very rare that people were fat.

01:23:32.000 Yeah, people were rarely fat.

01:23:34.000 Well, that's why it's like a fat lady was considered really, really sexy. 1.00

01:23:40.000 Because it showed that she was well fed.

01:23:42.000 She's got some cash. 1.00

01:23:43.000 Exactly.

01:23:46.000 That's why you see the Aphrodite and stuff like that.

01:23:50.000 It's all very, very curvy.

01:23:51.000 Yeah.

01:23:52.000 Yeah, they went through a whole era where those Rubenesque women, that was the thing. 1.00

01:23:57.000 That's what everybody wanted.

01:23:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:23:58.000 I want to get me a big gal.

01:24:01.000 Some cushion for the pushing.

01:24:05.000 Now we're in danger, right now.

01:24:06.000 We're treading in dangerous waters, even talking about that.

01:24:09.000 I know.

01:24:09.000 Do you have photos of Kirk Douglas?

01:24:13.000 Find Kirk Douglas and Spartacus.

01:24:15.000 I was trying to find one comparing them both.

01:24:16.000 Sporadacus.

01:24:17.000 Sporadacus.

01:24:18.000 Sporadacus.

01:24:20.000 When you were in Paris, did you know...

01:24:22.000 Oh, there he is.

01:24:23.000 Ah, look at that.

01:24:24.000 That looks like a guy who's literally never swung a sword.

01:24:27.000 Yeah, he looks...

01:24:29.000 He already looks old.

01:24:30.000 He already looks old there.

01:24:32.000 Oh, yeah.

01:24:32.000 Well, I bet he was probably in his 30s because people back then just aged worse.

01:24:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:24:38.000 I don't know what the fuck was going on. 0.99

01:24:40.000 They didn't age good. 1.00

01:24:42.000 It was the liquor and the cigarettes.

01:24:44.000 Cigarettes and the liquor.

01:24:46.000 Yeah, but you smoke cigarettes and you look fantastic.

01:24:49.000 Oh, thanks.

01:24:49.000 You look great.

01:24:50.000 I agree.

01:24:51.000 What is that?

01:24:53.000 Yeah, let's take a guess.

01:24:54.000 Let's take a guess how old he was during Spartacus.

01:24:57.000 That was in like the early...

01:24:59.000 I think he was a hair under 40. I think you're right.

01:25:06.000 I would go with 37. What is he?

01:25:08.000 44. Oh!

01:25:10.000 So he kind of looks like 44. Yeah.

01:25:13.000 But not at today's 44. Yeah.

01:25:15.000 Like Daniel Craig's jacked as fuck. 1.00

01:25:17.000 He's probably like 44. How old is Daniel Craig right now? 1.00

01:25:21.000 James Bond?

01:25:22.000 Doesn't he have some crow's feet or whatever?

01:25:24.000 Yeah, but he's jacked.

01:25:26.000 Yeah, he's a thick dude.

01:25:27.000 What is he?

01:25:28.000 He's 50. 50. Wow.

01:25:31.000 Jacked.

01:25:31.000 Really?

01:25:32.000 He's 50? 1.00

01:25:32.000 That's right, motherfucker. 1.00

01:25:34.000 Oh, look at that. 1.00

01:25:34.000 Looking good. 1.00

01:25:35.000 How old are you?

01:25:36.000 50. Look at him.

01:25:38.000 You're a big dude.

01:25:39.000 Look at that.

01:25:40.000 Jacked.

01:25:41.000 Mm-hmm.

01:25:42.000 You're a big dude, but I can take you.

01:25:43.000 Whoa. 1.00

01:25:45.000 That looks like fucking James Bond to me. 1.00

01:25:48.000 Not all these other pussies. 1.00

01:25:49.000 He's my all-time favorite James Bond by far. 0.98

01:25:52.000 That's a real James Bond.

01:25:53.000 Yeah, I know.

01:25:53.000 I like his steely resolve.

01:25:56.000 My other favorite James Bond is a potential James Bond.

01:25:59.000 I don't know if he's a James Bond yet.

01:26:00.000 It's Idris Elba.

01:26:01.000 Idris Elba. 1.00

01:26:02.000 Because he's jacked and because white people are mad. 0.99

01:26:06.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:26:07.000 Yeah, it's like a Fantastic Four movie, and they got Michael B. Jordan.

01:26:11.000 It's like, everyone just calm down.

01:26:12.000 Look at that right there.

01:26:13.000 Oh, good lord.

01:26:14.000 Look at his body.

01:26:15.000 Barf. 0.92

01:26:16.000 Look at that.

01:26:17.000 He's already kind of got a little...

01:26:19.000 He's got the beginning of Mantis.

01:26:21.000 Yeah, I mean, he's not bad.

01:26:23.000 Believe me, that's better than my body.

01:26:25.000 He's not fat. 0.99

01:26:26.000 It's just that he doesn't look like a guy who fought with a fucking sword for a living. 0.98

01:26:30.000 Yeah, but that's probably more accurate to what actual Romans look like. 0.98

01:26:37.000 No, not if they were an actual gladiator.

01:26:39.000 If they were an actual gladiator, they had to swing swords around.

01:26:41.000 Look at that arm.

01:26:42.000 Come on, son.

01:26:43.000 That arm ain't carrying no swords.

01:26:48.000 It's just lean muscle.

01:26:49.000 It's lean muscle.

01:26:49.000 Yeah, it's wiry, bro.

01:26:51.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:26:51.000 Look at that one.

01:26:52.000 He's got some veins coming out there.

01:26:54.000 Jacked. 0.99

01:26:55.000 Bro, he's jacked.

01:26:57.000 Yeah, this is Kubrick.

01:26:59.000 How is Kubrick?

01:27:00.000 People always forget.

01:27:01.000 Spartacus was Kubrick.

01:27:02.000 Spartacus was Kubrick.

01:27:03.000 Confirm that, but yeah.

01:27:04.000 Wow, that's amazing.

01:27:06.000 Yeah, apparently he hated it, too.

01:27:08.000 He hated the movie?

01:27:09.000 Yeah, it's probably one of those things he had to do.

01:27:11.000 Yeah, there you go.

01:27:12.000 1960. Yeah, geez.

01:27:14.000 God, I loved his movies.

01:27:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:27:17.000 No, this is actually one of the weaker ones, really.

01:27:19.000 Did you ever read The Shining?

01:27:21.000 No.

01:27:22.000 It's really interesting.

01:27:22.000 It's different.

01:27:23.000 Because Stephen King did not like it.

01:27:25.000 Yeah, the movie.

01:27:26.000 He did not like the movie.

01:27:26.000 Because they did a TV movie in the early 2000s.

01:27:30.000 With the guy from Wings.

01:27:31.000 Stephen Webber.

01:27:32.000 Yeah.

01:27:33.000 And he just decided that, you know, like...

01:27:37.000 Kubrick had made Jack Nicholson crazy already.

01:27:41.000 And he didn't like that.

01:27:43.000 He wanted a guy that was turned crazy by the house. 0.99

01:27:48.000 But how the fuck are you gonna do that in a two hour movie? 0.98

01:27:50.000 Do you know what's not scary? 0.98

01:27:52.000 Hedges.

01:27:54.000 There's a thing.

01:27:55.000 I bet you if you read it or whatever, it probably seems creepy when he's talking about how the hedges are moving when he's not looking and stuff like that.

01:28:03.000 But when you physically see it, it's not scary at all.

01:28:06.000 You know what I mean?

01:28:07.000 Things like that just don't visually translate.

01:28:11.000 But it worked in the book.

01:28:12.000 The book's amazing.

01:28:14.000 It's a big-ass book, too.

01:28:16.000 Oh, it's Stephen King.

01:28:17.000 Yeah. 0.52

01:28:18.000 I think it's a big-ass book.

01:28:20.000 Maybe I'm confusing it with the Dark Tower series.

01:28:23.000 There's also, the stand is really thick, too.

01:28:25.000 That's a dictionary.

01:28:26.000 It's a paperweight. 0.98

01:28:28.000 He was, I mean, still is, but so fucking prolific. 0.94

01:28:31.000 There's a thing with the mazes. 0.95

01:28:33.000 It's like, yeah, the mazes keeps on changing.

01:28:35.000 The one that you see in the model there, and the one that exists, and there's also a map on the outside of it, all three of those are different.

01:28:42.000 Can you climb those bushes and get a look from the top?

01:28:45.000 I think it's kind of more like stems.

01:28:47.000 I don't think they're like thick branches.

01:28:49.000 Just hack your way through.

01:28:50.000 Just walk straight.

01:28:51.000 Yeah.

01:28:52.000 That's true. 1.00

01:28:52.000 What are you, a pussy? 1.00

01:28:53.000 Scared of bushes? 1.00

01:28:54.000 What are you, scared of a bush?

01:28:55.000 Come on, bro.

01:28:56.000 Come on.

01:28:56.000 Well, the hedges that are moving, you know, in the book.

01:28:59.000 They're monsters.

01:29:00.000 They're demon hedges.

01:29:02.000 It's kind of like, you know, these like, like Edward Scissorhand-esque, like kind of like, you know, it's a kitten.

01:29:07.000 It's like, and then it's like, oh, it's moving when you're not looking.

01:29:10.000 Like, oh, that's an adorable cat hedge.

01:29:14.000 That place, that's supposed to be Estes Park?

01:29:18.000 Is that what it's supposed to be?

01:29:19.000 That area?

01:29:20.000 It's supposed to be somewhere in Colorado that's like that.

01:29:24.000 Yeah, I mean, I think that's where they filmed it.

01:29:27.000 Or at least the outdoor kind of stuff.

01:29:28.000 They filmed some of it, and I think they filmed some of it also in upstate New York.

01:29:32.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:29:33.000 And then they did a studio.

01:29:34.000 I think it was in London.

01:29:36.000 Usually Kubrick worked out of London.

01:29:38.000 But yeah, the Overlook Hotel.

01:29:40.000 There we go.

01:29:41.000 Actually, it's not called the Overlook in real life, but yeah, it's in Colorado. 0.99

01:29:45.000 That was a fucking great movie. 0.98

01:29:46.000 So creepy and weird. 1.00

01:29:48.000 He did so many of them.

01:29:50.000 Remember Eyes Wide Shut?

01:29:51.000 That was another one.

01:29:51.000 That's his last movie.

01:29:54.000 A lot of people didn't like that one.

01:29:55.000 I thought that was fascinating.

01:29:56.000 I'm a little soft on it.

01:29:58.000 At least when it comes to...

01:29:59.000 It's still great, but I put it lower on my Kubrick list.

01:30:05.000 Clockwork Orange, 2001. You name it.

01:30:09.000 During his spare time, he used to do complex mathematics.

01:30:13.000 That sounds about right.

01:30:14.000 Yeah.

01:30:14.000 That seems right.

01:30:15.000 He was like a legit genius.

01:30:17.000 Yeah.

01:30:17.000 He has archives in...

01:30:19.000 I think it's in London.

01:30:20.000 But there's actually the Stanley Kubrick library.

01:30:23.000 And you actually can kind of go through his scripts and his notes and all that kind of stuff.

01:30:27.000 There's a whole archive that's supposed to be kind of pretty neat.

01:30:30.000 Do you see yourself over making movies?

01:30:32.000 Like producing or directing or writing something?

01:30:35.000 Maybe.

01:30:35.000 If it peaks my fancy kind of thing.

01:30:38.000 Peaks your fancy.

01:30:39.000 Yeah, if it peaks my fancy.

01:30:40.000 Hmm.

01:30:41.000 I'd be open to doing something like that.

01:30:45.000 It's a matter of the right kind of thing.

01:30:47.000 Timing and so forth.

01:30:48.000 Right now wouldn't be ideal, but a year from now, yeah, it probably might be a little freer.

01:30:53.000 That kind of thing.

01:30:56.000 Hopefully the company will be moving on its own by that kind of thing.

01:30:59.000 Here's something I wanted to ask you about Paris.

01:31:01.000 This is one thing that I was only there for a short period of time, but one of the things I was shocked by is that All those people are eating bread, and they're all eating cheese and wine, and no one's fat.

01:31:16.000 Yep. 0.99

01:31:16.000 What the fuck is that? 0.99

01:31:17.000 Again, it's kind of the way that you kind of eat, how you have a light breakfast but a heavy dinner. 0.99

01:31:23.000 I think that has to do with it.

01:31:24.000 And also, you can't call yourself a boulangerie, like a bakery, unless you make everything from scratch.

01:31:31.000 Like, so everything's made from scratch.

01:31:33.000 And, like, the thing is, is that, like, your, like, baguette will be stale in 24 hours.

01:31:38.000 Same thing with the croissants.

01:31:39.000 Like, there's no preservatives in anything.

01:31:42.000 Like, in general, out there, like, all your food spoils faster, like, in your fridge.

01:31:48.000 Because, like, yeah, it's, you know, like, it's fresh.

01:31:50.000 There's no hormones and things or steroids.

01:31:53.000 He was an oncologist from Paris and he lived in America and he went back to France and brought back cheese because the cheese that he could get over there was not homogenized or pasteurized and it's literally illegal here.

01:32:06.000 Yeah.

01:32:06.000 So he would have to tuck it in his carry-on or in his checked luggage and just hope that no one would check the cheese.

01:32:13.000 He would check out that wheel of cheese.

01:32:14.000 Literally, he brought back a wheel of cheese.

01:32:16.000 Excuse me, sir.

01:32:17.000 And when he served it to us, it was like precious.

01:32:19.000 Yeah.

01:32:20.000 This precious cheese.

01:32:21.000 I mean, they make raw cheese in America now, but this was...

01:32:25.000 But it's, like, specific and, like, yeah, like, you have to, like, you know, it's boutique-y kind of thing.

01:32:30.000 It's a very boutique, you know, niche kind of thing.

01:32:32.000 Yeah.

01:32:33.000 No, see the thing with, like, their eggs.

01:32:35.000 Like, they don't refrigerate their eggs over there because it's done in a different kind of process.

01:32:39.000 Like, I think...

01:32:40.000 I forget what it is.

01:32:41.000 Well, I have eggs that I get from my chickens.

01:32:43.000 I don't refrigerate them.

01:32:44.000 Yeah, you know, that's the first thing.

01:32:45.000 I refrigerate them after a while.

01:32:46.000 Yeah, you can wash them, but I think in America, I think we, like...

01:32:49.000 I think we hit them with super hot water.

01:32:55.000 There's a different process than they have in Europe.

01:32:57.000 So in general, you're not supposed to refrigerate your eggs there.

01:32:59.000 We're in the States you are supposed to.

01:33:01.000 And it's just a different process of how things are done.

01:33:05.000 Yeah, the preservative thing makes a lot of sense. 0.97

01:33:08.000 The preservatives, and I think there's also different shit that's in wheat, and there's different kinds of wheat. 0.61

01:33:15.000 They have heirloom wheat, wheat that's like older wheat before we started messing with it. 0.95

01:33:21.000 And also their cattle and things like that, it's grass-fed, whereas in the States it's corn-fed.

01:33:26.000 And also I just noticed in general out there, I was eating less red meat.

01:33:30.000 You have a lot more chicken and a lot of pig.

01:33:33.000 Lots of ham, that kind of thing.

01:33:34.000 Ham is a very, whether it's dried or whatever.

01:33:39.000 Those cured legs when they just take that thin slice off the cured leg.

01:33:45.000 I'm actually going there, going back in a couple of days.

01:33:49.000 Are you going to stay again?

01:33:51.000 Probably not.

01:33:52.000 Because I'm going out to Berlin.

01:33:54.000 I'm doing this thing.

01:33:55.000 It's called the People Festival.

01:33:57.000 I'm looking out there.

01:33:58.000 I'm going to hang out with some friends.

01:34:00.000 People Festival?

01:34:01.000 It's called the People Festival.

01:34:03.000 I mean, it's a music fest.

01:34:04.000 And I know, like, a good, like, 12 or 20, like, of the acts.

01:34:07.000 Like, they're, like, my friends and stuff.

01:34:09.000 So I get to, like, go to Berlin, and I'm going to be, like, the roving reporter, pretty much.

01:34:13.000 Oh, really?

01:34:13.000 I found myself, you know, something to do when I'm out there.

01:34:16.000 For many years?

01:34:16.000 Yeah, it's going to be, like, podcasting and so forth.

01:34:19.000 Oh, okay.

01:34:19.000 Because there's a lot of, like, there's a lot of, like, cool musicians doing it, so...

01:34:22.000 Oh, that's cool.

01:34:23.000 So yeah, I'm kind of flying from LA to New York, spending the night, because I hate taking super long flights, and then New York to Paris.

01:34:31.000 You are a man of leisure.

01:34:32.000 Yeah, and then Paris to Berlin.

01:34:35.000 Look at you.

01:34:36.000 Even when you do that, you tilt your head sideways and throw your hand back.

01:34:39.000 A man of leisure.

01:34:41.000 I travel at my whim.

01:34:42.000 I should have a Manhattan in my hand.

01:34:45.000 Oh, shall we book you a straight flight to Europe?

01:34:48.000 No.

01:34:48.000 No, of course not.

01:34:49.000 That's too much time in the air.

01:34:50.000 I like to puddle jump.

01:34:52.000 I want to go to New York.

01:34:53.000 I'll go to New York.

01:34:54.000 Perhaps I'll shop.

01:34:56.000 Perhaps I'll shop in Paris.

01:34:58.000 In Paris.

01:34:59.000 Go to a cafe.

01:35:00.000 Mm-hmm.

01:35:00.000 Maybe I'll take the channel to London just for a day trip.

01:35:04.000 Just for a day trip.

01:35:06.000 I have a fantastic t-shirt shot that I love.

01:35:09.000 Now, one of the things that people in America that don't go to Paris are worried about is people hear horror stories about the immigration nightmare in Paris.

01:35:19.000 And that Paris is somehow or another turning into this criminal cesspool because of all these immigrants. 1.00

01:35:24.000 And it's very dangerous there now.

01:35:26.000 Hence those shootings that you heard about in the...

01:35:29.000 It is actually one of the most ethnically diverse cities in all of Europe.

01:35:35.000 You see more black people in the first five minutes of being there than you do in the whole of Oslo or Berlin or something like that.

01:35:45.000 Certainly Oslo, right?

01:35:46.000 It's culturally and ethnically diverse.

01:35:51.000 When it comes to all those shootings and things like that, they're guilty of being landlocked.

01:35:57.000 You know, the UK can kind of control the, you know, the flow of traffic, you know, people kind of coming in and out because they're an island nation.

01:36:05.000 Whereas like with the kind of open borders that you can, you know, you can buy a gun in Greece and take the train, you know, like all the way over, like, you know, especially when it comes to like the old, like the Balkans or whatever.

01:36:17.000 Like, you know, there's a lot of leftover Soviet era, like Kalashnikovs. 0.74

01:36:21.000 That's why they always have like these Russian made like guns and so forth. 1.00

01:36:24.000 And yeah, that's what I mean.

01:36:27.000 It's easier for somewhere like the UK to lock off their borders, whereas France, like I said, it's guilty of being landlocked, essentially.

01:36:36.000 So you think it's more difficult to secure?

01:36:38.000 Is that the blunt force truth?

01:36:39.000 Yes, blunt force truth.

01:36:43.000 BFT, bro.

01:36:45.000 And that's the BFT. Yeah, there you go.

01:36:47.000 People should start using that.

01:36:49.000 The BFT? That's the hashtag BFT, bitch. 1.00

01:36:52.000 BFT. Got some BFT coming your way. 1.00

01:36:55.000 It's like, mmm, delicious.

01:36:57.000 But the big fear, like the one thing that people are...

01:37:02.000 Terrified of was that this was going to happen to the rest of Europe that like what what's happened to Paris and Paris is falling apart and you can go through some of the ghetto areas in Paris and You know there was a someone filmed something where a Jewish man walked through these Muslim ghettos and they're screaming out I'm all these anti-semitic things I have not seen that you know, 0.75

01:37:25.000 but you know at my neighborhoods are only a couple blocks away from like the Jewish kind of neighborhood That's a good spot to live Heck yeah. 1.00

01:37:31.000 It's always good to live near the Jewish folk.

01:37:33.000 Heck yeah.

01:37:34.000 They keep it together.

01:37:34.000 Yeah, I'm a New Yorker, so I'm like, I'm already half Jewish, you know?

01:37:38.000 I was in New York recently when we were in Brooklyn, and I was with Ari, my friend Ari, who grew up Orthodox Jew, and he took us through this neighborhood where they have like the crazy Frisbee fur hats on, and all the curls.

01:37:54.000 Yeah, and the payas. 0.98

01:37:56.000 And the fucking, the yarn hanging off their belt. 1.00

01:37:59.000 Yep. 1.00

01:38:00.000 All that weird shit. 1.00

01:38:00.000 Mm-hmm. 1.00

01:38:01.000 And, you know, he was basically saying, like, these people, like, they are here, but they're not here. 0.99

01:38:06.000 They don't know what the fuck is going on. 0.96

01:38:08.000 They have no idea who Kim Kardashian is. 0.99

01:38:09.000 They don't listen to any of the music.

01:38:11.000 They all stick together.

01:38:13.000 They intermarry.

01:38:14.000 They marry inside their community.

01:38:15.000 I was just going to say get married young and look at it.

01:38:17.000 Yeah.

01:38:17.000 Dude, it's so interesting seeing them all walking around the streets.

01:38:20.000 And they have sex through the sheets. 0.99

01:38:21.000 You know that? 0.98

01:38:22.000 Some of them do, right?

01:38:23.000 Isn't that Hasidic, though?

01:38:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:38:24.000 But yeah, there's just a hole in the sheet.

01:38:26.000 Just throw a sheet over and just perfectly frame the vagina right there. 1.00

01:38:32.000 I'll take care of it from here. 1.00

01:38:34.000 They don't want to touch naked women, right? 1.00

01:38:36.000 Is that the idea?

01:38:37.000 Yeah, I think it's a modesty kind of thing.

01:38:38.000 Kind of like tradition.

01:38:41.000 You should do that at home just for fun.

01:38:42.000 Yeah.

01:38:43.000 It's like, honey, why are there holes in all these sheets?

01:38:47.000 Jesus wants this.

01:38:48.000 Or no, not Jesus.

01:38:49.000 Someone else. 0.99

01:38:50.000 God, we killed Jesus. 0.99

01:38:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.99

01:38:54.000 Jesus was a Jew. 0.99

01:38:55.000 It's okay.

01:38:56.000 It's okay.

01:38:58.000 So, like, this community that we were driving through is massive.

01:39:02.000 Like, Brooklyn has...

01:39:03.000 Yeah, I was going to say Brooklyn, like, kind of in the southern kind of part.

01:39:06.000 Massive community.

01:39:08.000 I didn't know how big Brooklyn was.

01:39:09.000 Yeah, it's big. 0.99

01:39:10.000 It's fucking huge. 0.98

01:39:12.000 It really is. 0.99

01:39:13.000 Yeah, it's kind of like you're talking about the neighborhood, like, kind of, like, north of Red Hook, but right there on the river.

01:39:16.000 Because I walked from my place in, like, lower Manhattan all the way down to, like, Red Hook, like, one day.

01:39:21.000 How long did it take?

01:39:23.000 Like, maybe about an hour.

01:39:24.000 An hour-ish.

01:39:25.000 That's it?

01:39:26.000 Yeah.

01:39:27.000 I walk at a New York pace.

01:39:29.000 You must have been sprinting.

01:39:30.000 Yeah, I walk at a New York pace.

01:39:32.000 I'm a walker.

01:39:33.000 That's how I say so slim.

01:39:34.000 If you run seven miles an hour, that's like a fairly good clip.

01:39:38.000 It's got to be more than seven miles.

01:39:40.000 No.

01:39:41.000 It's not?

01:39:41.000 No, it's not.

01:39:42.000 You have to understand, the whole of Manhattan is, I think it's like 14 miles, something like that.

01:39:46.000 It's 14 by four.

01:39:48.000 And I'm already living in the southern part.

01:39:50.000 Oh, okay.

01:39:50.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:39:50.000 It's probably...

01:39:52.000 I don't know, like about three...

01:39:53.000 Three miles?

01:39:54.000 Yeah, about three miles.

01:39:55.000 I walk in about three to four miles an hour.

01:39:57.000 One of the guys that was there with us, the guy who was driving us, was telling us how Brooklyn is just overwhelmed with building, construction, apartment buildings now, and everyone's moving out of Manhattan and into Brooklyn.

01:40:09.000 Yeah, it's...

01:40:10.000 Because the thing about Manhattan is that it's finite.

01:40:13.000 Right.

01:40:13.000 So the only way...

01:40:15.000 Like, yeah, you can build upwards, but you can only do that so much.

01:40:17.000 Yeah.

01:40:17.000 And so a lot of people are getting displaced.

01:40:20.000 You have to have enough money just to stay on the island of Manhattan.

01:40:23.000 And even people like that are getting displaced.

01:40:26.000 It's Brooklyn, Queens, etc.

01:40:28.000 Hoboken.

01:40:29.000 The people that I know that live in Manhattan always have this thought in their head that one day they might live in L.A. Like, even Bourdain was saying, ah, sometimes I think about it.

01:40:38.000 I think about the weather, and I know there's a lot of good things about L.A., a lot of nice places.

01:40:43.000 L.A., I lived here for the better part of eight years, like, in my early 20s and stuff.

01:40:48.000 And it's, you know, I mean, it makes you soft.

01:40:50.000 Does it?

01:40:51.000 Yeah, I think just, like, with the weather and things like that.

01:40:53.000 And it's also, like, yeah, the leisurely kind of, like, kind of thing.

01:40:56.000 Like, there's not a lot of drinking.

01:40:58.000 It's a lot more smoking weed, just because, like, everyone has to drive, you know, so nobody, like, you know, so everyone just, like...

01:41:05.000 It went by so fast because there's no seasons.

01:41:09.000 Right.

01:41:10.000 It's all the same.

01:41:11.000 So I blinked and it was like, wait, I've been living out here for five years.

01:41:14.000 Because I'm from New York.

01:41:16.000 Summer, winter, winter's long.

01:41:18.000 It's one of the few major cities where you have a hundred degree weather shift in one year.

01:41:22.000 It can be a hundred degrees and later that year it can be zero degrees.

01:41:25.000 Yeah, that's true.

01:41:26.000 That's interesting.

01:41:26.000 So it's kind of a harsh kind of climate a little bit.

01:41:29.000 And the summers, they're like, suck! 0.63

01:41:31.000 Because it's just the humidity. 0.84

01:41:32.000 It just sticks to you.

01:41:33.000 It's smelly.

01:41:34.000 I'm not a huge fan of New York in the summer.

01:41:36.000 Yeah.

01:41:37.000 It gets very piss-like.

01:41:39.000 Yes.

01:41:40.000 It sticks to you.

01:41:42.000 It sticks to your hair.

01:41:43.000 I've never lived in the city, though.

01:41:45.000 I might have missed my shot because now I'm married and with kids and the whole deal.

01:41:50.000 I'm so sorry.

01:41:51.000 And a stand-up comedian.

01:41:52.000 It's a lot of...

01:41:54.000 The only thing that could possibly make me live there was that I could do stand-up there very easily.

01:41:59.000 Yeah.

01:42:00.000 There's a lot of comedy clubs.

01:42:02.000 Well, I think the island of Manhattan only has like six of them, technically.

01:42:05.000 What?

01:42:05.000 I think it's like five or six.

01:42:06.000 Six what?

01:42:07.000 Comedy clubs.

01:42:08.000 I could name five or six.

01:42:10.000 Yeah.

01:42:11.000 There's got to be more than that.

01:42:12.000 I don't know.

01:42:13.000 Because I have a buddy who...

01:42:15.000 There's the stand.

01:42:15.000 The cellar has two clubs.

01:42:17.000 There's Dangerfields.

01:42:18.000 There's Caroline's.

01:42:21.000 There's...

01:42:21.000 Eastville Comedy Club.

01:42:24.000 This has got to be more than that.

01:42:26.000 My buddy opened up one in like 2010. Oh, Gotham.

01:42:30.000 We're already at seven.

01:42:32.000 Yeah.

01:42:32.000 Well, he opened up one like in about 2010 or something like that.

01:42:35.000 And he was talking about, he goes, actually, there's not a shit ton.

01:42:38.000 You already said it.

01:42:39.000 Yeah.

01:42:39.000 Yeah, I saw that.

01:42:40.000 That's what I mean.

01:42:40.000 He was actually, he said like, yeah, he goes, when I opened up, there was only like six, you know, like he was like the seventh one or something like that.

01:42:45.000 Really?

01:42:46.000 It's surprising, at least on the island of Manhattan itself, there's not as many comedy clubs as you'd Do you know, in the turn of the century, the 19th to the 20th century, there was a thousand or close to a thousand billiard halls in Manhattan.

01:43:04.000 Oh, jeez.

01:43:06.000 That's what men did before video games. 0.98

01:43:08.000 Pretty much.

01:43:09.000 And that's like when men didn't want to have families.

01:43:11.000 The bachelor life, they would live in these pool halls.

01:43:15.000 I'm going to play billiards.

01:43:16.000 Yeah, they'd gamble.

01:43:17.000 In a smoky, smoky pool hall.

01:43:20.000 I used to play a lot of pool.

01:43:22.000 Went back to the Lovett's voice.

01:43:26.000 Picasso!

01:43:27.000 I'm Picasso!

01:43:31.000 Yeah, there's actually not a lot of billiard clubs there anymore.

01:43:34.000 Yeah, there's a few.

01:43:34.000 I mean, I'm saying they do exist, but there's only a smattering of them.

01:43:40.000 There's only a few bowling alleys.

01:43:41.000 There's only a few bowling alleys, right?

01:43:43.000 Yeah.

01:43:43.000 I think even like Bullmore moved, that kind of thing.

01:43:46.000 That was the trendy spot.

01:43:48.000 Those are going to be like...

01:43:50.000 Croquet someday.

01:43:53.000 We'll play some badminton.

01:43:55.000 Forgotten era games.

01:43:57.000 Let's play some squash.

01:43:59.000 Are you enjoying it out here now?

01:44:02.000 Yeah.

01:44:02.000 I have a good life out here.

01:44:04.000 I have a really pretty little family.

01:44:06.000 I've got a pretty girl, pretty dog, pretty cat, and all that stuff.

01:44:09.000 Everything's good?

01:44:09.000 Yeah, we're going to move.

01:44:10.000 We're doing a house thing and all that kind of stuff.

01:44:12.000 Oh, you're going to get a house together?

01:44:13.000 Yeah, well, she is. 0.60

01:44:15.000 Are you going to hitch a ride?

01:44:16.000 Yeah, I'm just going to hitch a ride.

01:44:17.000 Nice.

01:44:18.000 Do you have to chip in, or do you just ride in?

01:44:20.000 No, it's on her.

01:44:22.000 She was already looking.

01:44:24.000 I think she's in escrow right now, essentially.

01:44:26.000 It just started today. 0.99

01:44:28.000 But if it goes south, she could just fucking boot you out. 1.00

01:44:31.000 Yep, yep. 0.98

01:44:32.000 What'd you do?

01:44:33.000 I'd get my stuff.

01:44:34.000 Yeah, I have my place in New York, too.

01:44:36.000 I bought in the 90s.

01:44:38.000 Oh, okay.

01:44:39.000 Smart.

01:44:39.000 I'm doing okay.

01:44:41.000 But a proper loft.

01:44:42.000 I said I had big syndrome.

01:44:44.000 I saw the movie Big, and I'm like, that's what I want.

01:44:46.000 So, like, an elevator opens up to, like, a big room, and, like, I have more mannequins than, like, you would, like, think.

01:44:54.000 Like, we used to have an American Apparel downstairs, and I was walking, like, out one day, and there was just a pile of mannequin parts.

01:45:00.000 And I was like, oh my god, look, I have to get these!

01:45:02.000 Like, and it's like...

01:45:04.000 And then I told my super, because it's in the same kind of building complex, I said, listen, if they're ever going to get rid of any mannequin things, tell them to come to me first. 0.99

01:45:12.000 What the fuck do you do with these mannequins? 0.99

01:45:14.000 They closed down, and I have so many mannequins. 1.00

01:45:18.000 It's ridiculous. 0.64

01:45:19.000 Just these mannequin parts. 0.94

01:45:20.000 I have no idea what to do with them either.

01:45:22.000 I give them away as presents.

01:45:24.000 Like, here's a leg.

01:45:26.000 You were talking about all the different little cars that you bought.

01:45:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:45:30.000 Every time I go to the pharmacy, I have to buy a toy car.

01:45:33.000 But I try not to double up on things.

01:45:36.000 So it's like only one ambulance.

01:45:37.000 Only one fire truck.

01:45:39.000 Only one Corvette. 0.90

01:45:41.000 Now it's getting ridiculous.

01:45:42.000 But for some reason, I hoard things and I collect things.

01:45:47.000 And at the same time, I'll figure out what this is for.

01:45:50.000 I'll do something with those mannequins at some point.

01:45:53.000 Those are going to pay off, I swear. 1.00

01:45:54.000 That's the kind of shit that drives women crazy. 1.00

01:45:57.000 Ladies and gentlemen... 1.00

01:45:58.000 I'm going to say, invest in mannequins.

01:46:00.000 It's a growth industry.

01:46:03.000 There's a high ceiling on mannequins.

01:46:06.000 I'm telling you, kids.

01:46:08.000 You think that's a freedom thing where you do whatever you want? 1.00

01:46:10.000 So you're like, fuck it, I'm just going to buy a mannequin. 1.00

01:46:12.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:46:14.000 And when they closed down, it was like, yeah, I got like 20 mannequins.

01:46:17.000 Did you get them for free or did you have to buy them?

01:46:18.000 No, so they were going to sell them and it was something like, oh, we have like 16 of them.

01:46:24.000 We'll sell them to you for $500.

01:46:27.000 And I said, Listen, I said, I could do that, or I could pay you, you know, or I can give you $200 for him, and then give you $200.

01:46:38.000 Because the place is closing down.

01:46:39.000 So, you know, the store gets the $200, but then there's another $200 in your pocket kind of thing.

01:46:43.000 Because the store is closing down anyway.

01:46:45.000 Look at you, you bargainer.

01:46:46.000 Well, because they're not going to, like, they don't have a job starting next week.

01:46:49.000 So, like, they really don't care.

01:46:50.000 So, like, yeah, so I got him for cheaper, like, just by pretty much bribing the dude.

01:46:53.000 Hmm.

01:46:54.000 You should have offered him a drawing.

01:46:55.000 I know.

01:46:57.000 I'm Picasso!

01:46:59.000 Look at that, fella.

01:47:00.000 In your face! 0.71

01:47:03.000 Well, listen, man, it was great meeting you.

01:47:05.000 Yeah, it's great meeting you, too.

01:47:05.000 I had a good time.

01:47:06.000 This was really fun.

01:47:07.000 Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

01:47:07.000 And you're an interesting guy, man.

01:47:09.000 Oh, thanks.

01:47:10.000 You're very healthy for a guy who's gotten through what you've gotten through.

01:47:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:14.000 Like I said, it wasn't too traumatic.

01:47:15.000 You did it.

01:47:16.000 You nailed it.

01:47:17.000 I did it.

01:47:17.000 Yay!

01:47:18.000 One more time, your website for people?

01:47:20.000 It's bunnyears.com.

01:47:22.000 And the podcast?

01:47:23.000 It's a bunny ears pod.

01:47:25.000 You can get it anywhere podcasts are done.

01:47:30.000 Like whatever.

01:47:31.000 iTunes or whatever.

01:47:32.000 All those things.

01:47:33.000 They're listening to this.

01:47:34.000 They know where to get a podcast.

01:47:35.000 My podcasting partner takes care of that.

01:47:39.000 Go check out our website.

01:47:41.000 Go check out our Facebook.

01:47:43.000 Yada, yada, yada.

01:47:44.000 And say hi to you at the Human Fest.

01:47:46.000 People Fest in Berlin.

01:47:49.000 I'm going to be there.

01:47:50.000 Thanks a lot, my friend.

01:47:52.000 Thank you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 07, 2018

Joe Rogan Experience #1153 - Macaulay Culkin

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Summary

Transcript