The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1165 - Tom Papa

00:00:03.000 Four, three, two, one.

00:00:06.000 Yee-haw! 1.00

00:00:08.000 Tom Papa!

00:00:10.000 We're just talking about moving into the woods together.

00:00:13.000 This feels so good.

00:00:13.000 A little tiny house with three pairs of shoes, three pairs of pants.

00:00:18.000 Maybe two.

00:00:19.000 Some shirts.

00:00:19.000 Yeah.

00:00:20.000 That's it.

00:00:21.000 The last clothing you'll ever buy.

00:00:23.000 One coat.

00:00:24.000 Yeah.

00:00:25.000 Everybody's just out here.

00:00:27.000 Chasing bigger and better, Tom Popo.

00:00:29.000 Just why?

00:00:30.000 Why?

00:00:31.000 I'm starting to wonder.

00:00:32.000 I was telling you guys that I was looking at this house that's for sale in Northern California in the Redwoods.

00:00:38.000 It's 320 feet square. 1.00

00:00:42.000 Tiny ass fucking house. 1.00

00:00:43.000 The whole house. 1.00

00:00:44.000 It's got a loft.

00:00:46.000 The loft is where you sleep in.

00:00:47.000 A tiny home.

00:00:48.000 The tiny thing below it is like a little tiny kitchen.

00:00:51.000 Yeah.

00:00:51.000 And a little tiny like couch area.

00:00:53.000 That's it.

00:00:54.000 Like a houseboat like with like built-in things.

00:00:56.000 Yeah, it's kind of like a houseboat.

00:00:57.000 Cubbies.

00:00:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:00:58.000 They make those now.

00:00:59.000 Think about how simple your life would be.

00:01:01.000 It would be, but would you be content?

00:01:05.000 That's very small.

00:01:07.000 You'd be great for a little while.

00:01:08.000 That's very small.

00:01:10.000 360. Yeah, that's...

00:01:12.000 I want a shower.

00:01:13.000 Like that.

00:01:14.000 Look at that little tiny house.

00:01:15.000 That's three...

00:01:16.000 No, come on. 0.85

00:01:17.000 That's...

00:01:17.000 That's not the one, is it?

00:01:18.000 That's bigger than that.

00:01:19.000 That's 1,000 square feet.

00:01:20.000 320 foot.

00:01:21.000 It says 320 foot tiny cabin in Big Bear.

00:01:23.000 Oh, that's in Big Bear.

00:01:25.000 Oh, my God.

00:01:26.000 That's attainable.

00:01:27.000 That's bigger than we need.

00:01:27.000 Is that still for sale?

00:01:30.000 Hold this video.

00:01:31.000 Let's chip in today.

00:01:33.000 Got put up last year.

00:01:34.000 320 foot tiny cabin in Big Bear.

00:01:37.000 Amazing small house.

00:01:38.000 Oh my god.

00:01:39.000 Aww.

00:01:40.000 You know what we should do, Jamie?

00:01:42.000 So simple.

00:01:43.000 We should buy that place and turn it into our Big Bear studio.

00:01:45.000 That's what we should do. 1.00

00:01:47.000 Do fucking show. 1.00

00:01:48.000 I bet the show's up there. 0.99

00:01:49.000 I bet if we did a show in Big Bear in the woods like that, it would have a totally different feel to it.

00:01:54.000 Yeah, because you'd be hearing your guests screaming in the background being mauled by mountain lions. 0.97

00:02:02.000 But if you did do a show up there, how the fuck would you convince people to drive two hours? 0.97

00:02:08.000 Couldn't we get people that are training up there or something like that? 0.97

00:02:10.000 Maybe they could pop over?

00:02:11.000 Yeah, you get like four guys.

00:02:15.000 Gennady Golovkin and Tito Ortiz would come over every day.

00:02:17.000 And then you'd be like, okay, I get it.

00:02:19.000 You ate Chuck Liddell.

00:02:19.000 I get it.

00:02:20.000 I get it. 1.00

00:02:21.000 Canelo's a pussy. 1.00

00:02:22.000 I get it! 1.00

00:02:26.000 I don't know.

00:02:27.000 I mean, the fantasy is that that becomes a simple life.

00:02:29.000 You pare down everything, all the aggravation.

00:02:32.000 You get maybe two bills come to the house.

00:02:34.000 I'll tell you what.

00:02:34.000 Would you go crazy?

00:02:35.000 If I didn't have a family, it wouldn't be a problem.

00:02:38.000 Yeah.

00:02:38.000 If it was just single Joe, no family, no kids, it wouldn't be a problem.

00:02:43.000 I would just go...

00:02:44.000 I mean, I really probably think I would already have a place like that up there.

00:02:48.000 Right.

00:02:48.000 Where I could just go and chill.

00:02:50.000 Yeah.

00:02:51.000 I just think...

00:02:51.000 I was thinking of just a little place like that, like a little hideout next to the house, like Mark Twain had.

00:02:58.000 Did he have a place like that next to his house?

00:03:00.000 Yeah.

00:03:00.000 He had a little octagon kind of a room, and he would leave his house with his daughters and his wife, and he would go up the steps and go into his little thing.

00:03:10.000 And on this table was just his pipe, a box of cigars, his writing pads, His pens.

00:03:18.000 And he just would hang out there and smoke all day and work.

00:03:22.000 And then he would go back home.

00:03:24.000 Maybe that's enough.

00:03:25.000 Maybe that cuts the edge off.

00:03:27.000 It gives you your isolation and your simplicity.

00:03:31.000 And then you return back to the people you have to feed.

00:03:33.000 It's a little something.

00:03:35.000 That'll work if you've got the people you have to feed.

00:03:37.000 If you don't have the people you have to feed, straight woods, bro.

00:03:40.000 Oh, yeah.

00:03:41.000 Caught a path.

00:03:42.000 Well, that's going to be the real trick.

00:03:43.000 When the kids leave, when they get big enough and they take off, and it's just down to you and your wife.

00:03:48.000 And then the wife wants to get like five dogs. 1.00

00:03:52.000 She's probably like encouraging you to go get a cabin.

00:03:54.000 Get another dog.

00:03:55.000 Let's get another dog. 1.00

00:03:56.000 I love dogs.

00:03:57.000 Let's rescue a dog. 0.88

00:03:58.000 Let's adopt a kid.

00:03:59.000 Whoa.

00:04:00.000 Yeah.

00:04:01.000 They want to keep you tethered.

00:04:03.000 Well...

00:04:04.000 Tethered to little things.

00:04:05.000 They're the nester. 0.57

00:04:06.000 Yep.

00:04:06.000 They're the nest.

00:04:07.000 If the nest is empty, that's their job.

00:04:10.000 They build that nest, want everyone in that nest safe, and that's what they're built to do.

00:04:15.000 Do you ever see women that have a bunch of dogs, and you go, like, you know you want a kid, right? 0.99

00:04:20.000 You know you want...

00:04:21.000 I just don't have the time for a kid. 1.00

00:04:24.000 How much time have you spent on these fucking dogs? 1.00

00:04:27.000 It's probably pretty close. 1.00

00:04:28.000 No, it's just me and my fluffy babies.

00:04:31.000 I'm a dog mom.

00:04:32.000 I'm just fluffy babies.

00:04:34.000 But what is it about people that want to further complicate their lives?

00:04:39.000 What is it?

00:04:39.000 Why does everybody always want big...

00:04:41.000 Is that just a part of the...

00:04:44.000 The genes, is that what it is?

00:04:46.000 Like, what is it?

00:04:47.000 Well, we have, I think, a drive in us to always do more, explore more, push more, right?

00:04:51.000 There's something built into human beings that have that.

00:04:54.000 And then we have a system that rewards that in capitalism.

00:04:58.000 So that's the board game that we're all playing.

00:05:02.000 So it keeps you racing to get more stuff and bigger house and more things.

00:05:07.000 You know what I mean?

00:05:07.000 If that didn't exist, if you weren't able to accumulate that stuff, what would we be doing?

00:05:12.000 We'd still be striving, but for other stuff.

00:05:15.000 But this is our reality, so it manifests itself in more cars, a bigger house.

00:05:22.000 Yeah.

00:05:23.000 Fiber optics.

00:05:24.000 Right.

00:05:24.000 You're always trying to survive, but surviving is not that hard today.

00:05:30.000 Right.

00:05:31.000 Good point.

00:05:32.000 So you try to instead, you know, because it's not too complicated to go find your food.

00:05:36.000 Right.

00:05:37.000 There's not a lot of, like, puzzles and challenges.

00:05:41.000 Shelters taken care of.

00:05:43.000 So you start thinking, you know what?

00:05:45.000 I just need a new car.

00:05:47.000 This car is two years old.

00:05:49.000 Yeah.

00:05:53.000 This car's got 20,000 miles on it. 0.97

00:05:55.000 This is ridiculous.

00:05:56.000 Why am I driving a car with 20,000 miles on it? 0.99

00:05:59.000 It smells like my farts. 0.76

00:06:01.000 Yeah. 0.95

00:06:02.000 No, it makes you...

00:06:03.000 Yeah, you just keep going.

00:06:05.000 But then I think you do that long enough, you start to realize, hopefully, that that stuff doesn't really make you happier.

00:06:12.000 It does to an extent.

00:06:13.000 Like, when you get out of your poor days and you kind of, like, get above water and you help your family out and you get some stuff you're proud of...

00:06:21.000 But then you just start adding more stress.

00:06:25.000 Yeah.

00:06:25.000 Because your bigger bills and bigger taxes and all this stuff you've got to fill up, it actually does the opposite.

00:06:30.000 It makes you more stressed.

00:06:32.000 You're not as happy.

00:06:33.000 And then you've got to kind of strike that balance.

00:06:36.000 It seems like it's...

00:06:37.000 Jim Carrey's been on this kick, explaining that to people.

00:06:42.000 Because, you know, Jim Carrey said, I'm paraphrasing him, but basically his quote was, I wish everybody would get rich and famous and they would see that that's not what makes you happy.

00:06:56.000 Right.

00:06:56.000 Because, you know, people think that, hey, if I was rich and famous, I would be happy.

00:07:00.000 Yeah.

00:07:00.000 And he said, I wish that everyone would get rich and famous so they'd realize that that's not the answer.

00:07:05.000 Yeah.

00:07:05.000 What does he say is the answer?

00:07:07.000 He likes to make paintings shitting on people, mocking them. 0.99

00:07:11.000 That seems to make him happy. 0.99

00:07:12.000 Oh, is that his art?

00:07:13.000 Yeah.

00:07:13.000 I know he paints.

00:07:14.000 I didn't know.

00:07:15.000 I'm like, hey, wait a minute.

00:07:16.000 Where's the piece in love, bro?

00:07:18.000 Oh, really?

00:07:19.000 It's aggressive? 1.00

00:07:19.000 His paintings are all like shitting on people and mocking people that are clearly assholes. 1.00

00:07:25.000 But I mean, it's not like he's like trying to accentuate the love in the world. 1.00

00:07:28.000 Right. 0.99

00:07:29.000 He's just shitting all over these bad people. 1.00

00:07:31.000 That makes him happy. 1.00

00:07:33.000 Yeah.

00:07:33.000 I mean, I don't know.

00:07:35.000 Is that good?

00:07:36.000 Yeah.

00:07:37.000 Is it good to focus on the bad people?

00:07:38.000 Like, does anybody change their opinion based on Jim Carrey's art?

00:07:45.000 I don't know.

00:07:46.000 I was like a big Jeff Sessions fan.

00:07:49.000 Right.

00:07:49.000 Until I saw these paintings.

00:07:51.000 And then, yeah. 1.00

00:07:52.000 When Jim Carrey's got them with a giant fucking wart-covered dick, holding it out in front of him, jizzing all over the Constitution. 1.00

00:08:05.000 This little Yoda head. 1.00

00:08:06.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:08:10.000 That's always a question.

00:08:11.000 It's like how much of art that rails against something Is it effective in changing that thing that you're railing against?

00:08:19.000 Does it actually have an impact?

00:08:21.000 Is it a slow impact?

00:08:23.000 Does it change over time?

00:08:25.000 I don't know.

00:08:26.000 It depends on the art.

00:08:26.000 Here's an example.

00:08:28.000 I think Tina Fey legitimately changed the way people feel about Sarah Palin. 0.98

00:08:35.000 I think she legitimately may have affected...

00:08:39.000 The way people were willing to accept Sarah Palin or vote for her.

00:08:42.000 Because her impression of her was so brilliant.

00:08:46.000 I don't know if people remember it.

00:08:47.000 Oh, yeah. 0.90

00:08:47.000 It was so goddamn good. 0.90

00:08:49.000 She looked exactly like her. 0.76

00:08:51.000 She looked like her.

00:08:52.000 Her attitude.

00:08:53.000 And she said things that people eventually attributed to Sarah Palin because they thought that Sarah Palin actually said it because Tina Fey said it.

00:09:02.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:09:02.000 She fucking nailed it. 0.99

00:09:04.000 Dude, she's so funny. 1.00

00:09:06.000 Her show, Kimmy Schmidt, have you seen that show?

00:09:09.000 Yeah, a couple of them.

00:09:10.000 It's one of my favorite shows.

00:09:12.000 Oh, yeah?

00:09:12.000 It's so good.

00:09:13.000 It's Tina Fey's show. 0.99

00:09:14.000 Yeah, I know.

00:09:15.000 She's in it sometimes.

00:09:16.000 She plays a... 0.99

00:09:17.000 The lead is great, but just optimistic.

00:09:19.000 Look at her. 0.99

00:09:19.000 I mean, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:09:21.000 That is so crazy. 0.99

00:09:22.000 Right now, the audio folks, we're looking at an image of Tina Fey as Sarah Palin right next to Sarah Palin. 0.98

00:09:29.000 And it's fucking indistinguishable almost. 0.92

00:09:32.000 It's so good. 0.99

00:09:35.000 Wow.

00:09:35.000 But do you think she affected people who already liked Sarah Palin?

00:09:40.000 If you like Sarah Palin, you don't know what you like. 1.00

00:09:42.000 You're out of your fucking mind. 1.00

00:09:45.000 Those people like Sarah Palin, they were out of their fucking minds. 1.00

00:09:49.000 I mean, they're basically working with a less than functional brain. 1.00

00:09:54.000 If you thought that that was a good idea, that that lady could be running things. 1.00

00:09:57.000 Yeah, like that close to being president.

00:10:00.000 She was a construct, too, you know.

00:10:01.000 She was an entertainer.

00:10:02.000 But, I mean, Sarah Palin was a construct.

00:10:05.000 She wasn't what everybody thought she was. 1.00

00:10:07.000 Like, there was one...

00:10:09.000 There's a story.

00:10:11.000 I don't...

00:10:12.000 Not 100% sure this is true, but it makes sense.

00:10:15.000 That someone shot a caribou, and then they drove her to the caribou, they gave her the rifle, and she stood over the caribou and took photos.

00:10:23.000 So that they could show, hey, she's a hunter! 0.98

00:10:26.000 She's like us, us regular folk, out here hunting caribou.

00:10:30.000 Find out if that's true.

00:10:31.000 Just a public relations kind of thing?

00:10:34.000 We need to Google if that's true.

00:10:36.000 Clarification.

00:10:36.000 I believe it, you know?

00:10:38.000 Yeah, of course.

00:10:39.000 You know, that's the way all that stuff is.

00:10:41.000 Do I believe it because I want to believe it? 1.00

00:10:42.000 Am I an asshole? 1.00

00:10:45.000 Maybe she's a good down-home woman. 1.00

00:10:49.000 Yeah, hey, look, she was the governor of Alaska. 0.99

00:10:51.000 That's easy.

00:10:52.000 I could be the governor of Alaska, too.

00:10:54.000 She had showbiz.

00:10:55.000 Okay, Sarah Palin shoots caribou after missing five times.

00:10:59.000 Shown shooting caribou on the latest episode of a reality television show.

00:11:02.000 Okay.

00:11:03.000 What's amazing is how she really fell off.

00:11:06.000 Wait a minute.

00:11:07.000 Is she just shooting it freehand?

00:11:09.000 She doesn't have a rest? 1.00

00:11:11.000 Okay.

00:11:14.000 Why would you do that?

00:11:16.000 Okay.

00:11:18.000 Okay, let me see.

00:11:19.000 Let's show this.

00:11:20.000 Let me see how she does. 1.00

00:11:21.000 Okay, this is fucking stupid. 1.00

00:11:23.000 Listen, folks. 1.00

00:11:25.000 The only reason to do this...

00:11:27.000 Does she have a rest?

00:11:29.000 She's freehanding this. 0.52

00:11:31.000 Okay.

00:11:32.000 Look, they got the packs on it.

00:11:33.000 Now she's gonna rest it.

00:11:36.000 Hmm.

00:11:37.000 Tiny little caribou, too.

00:11:37.000 They said I rest for her.

00:11:39.000 That's why the caribou's still around.

00:11:40.000 She's just firing. 1.00

00:11:42.000 That's a juvenile caribou.

00:11:44.000 No, she hasn't shot yet.

00:11:45.000 Let's see.

00:11:46.000 I think she has.

00:11:48.000 Oh, it went down.

00:11:49.000 She took some shots.

00:11:50.000 Oh, she took some shots and missed? 1.00

00:11:52.000 Okay, that's why.

00:11:52.000 Yeah.

00:11:53.000 So she free-handed it first, and then she needed a rest.

00:11:55.000 She should have used a rest immediately.

00:11:58.000 And I've shot animals free-handing, but never far away.

00:12:02.000 I shot a moose at 60 yards free-handed.

00:12:05.000 What's wrong with free-handing it?

00:12:06.000 Because you're not as accurate.

00:12:07.000 Yeah.

00:12:08.000 You know, with a bow...

00:12:11.000 Well, a bow is more accurate.

00:12:14.000 Honestly, a bow, I'm more accurate with a bow at like 60, 70 yards freehand.

00:12:19.000 Not more accurate, but in the range than I am with a rifle.

00:12:23.000 With a rifle, when you get out, you could shoot accurately on a rest, like way out longer distances.

00:12:28.000 But when you're just holding it up like that, it's based on, I mean, you've got to kind of lock it into your body, but it's hard to keep it steady.

00:12:35.000 But isn't a bow?

00:12:36.000 No, a bow, the thing is about the tension of the bow. 0.89

00:12:39.000 Your arm is kind of locked out and the tension of the bow, you could keep your arm pretty fucking steady.

00:12:44.000 And I practice it every day like that.

00:12:48.000 So I'm practicing keeping my arm very steady every day.

00:12:51.000 So all these stabilizer muscles in my shoulder are very strong.

00:12:54.000 And having a gun out there is just like...

00:12:55.000 It's just a little...

00:12:57.000 And also there's like the recoil.

00:12:59.000 If you're not used to shooting and it doesn't look like she's used to shooting, she didn't immediately go for the rest.

00:13:04.000 Like a seasoned hunter would have either lane prone or throw their pack down, immediately put that rifle over it and settle in.

00:13:12.000 So the rifle's resting on something.

00:13:14.000 Gotcha.

00:13:15.000 You know, but a lot of times they'll bring, like, sticks.

00:13:18.000 A pod.

00:13:19.000 They also weren't making a reality show for TLC. See, but see, what I've read, though, that there was a photo shoot they did.

00:13:26.000 See if you can find this.

00:13:28.000 This shot's fake.

00:13:28.000 Do you think that the...

00:13:29.000 Well, I think it's fake.

00:13:30.000 Well, they just put a circle around the caribou.

00:13:32.000 Yeah, but that's just for the filming.

00:13:35.000 The caribou definitely went down.

00:13:37.000 What, somebody?

00:13:38.000 Yeah, but, I mean, I don't think...

00:13:39.000 She shot it and it went down. 0.84

00:13:41.000 I think it's most likely she shot it and it went down.

00:13:45.000 Because you see the way she's reacting and everybody else is reacting.

00:13:47.000 That seems pretty real to me. 0.55

00:13:48.000 It's not impossible to shoot an animal.

00:13:50.000 Especially, that's a juvenile caribou. 0.97

00:13:52.000 See how little their antlers are?

00:13:54.000 He's like, hey guys, what are you doing?

00:13:56.000 That's what you would call, like if that was an elk, you would call that a spike.

00:13:59.000 Hey look, it's people!

00:14:00.000 I'm just thinking about the production.

00:14:10.000 It's a good point.

00:14:19.000 It's a good point.

00:14:23.000 You know what, man? 0.97

00:14:24.000 The reality is whenever you're dealing with air quote reality shows, there's massive fuckery involved.

00:14:31.000 And editing and please. 0.74

00:14:31.000 Oh, yeah. 0.74

00:14:33.000 But back to whether you could affect it, whether or not the art can affect what you think of people.

00:14:40.000 I think that affects it.

00:14:41.000 Yeah.

00:14:42.000 I mean, what Trump did during the election, he liked calling people out and mocking them.

00:14:46.000 Yeah, but is that art?

00:14:48.000 No, it's not art, but he was kind of like a Long Island comedian, like an insult comic.

00:14:54.000 He was just going after these guys, Crazy Ted and Little Water Guy.

00:14:59.000 I mean, he was doing an act.

00:15:00.000 It was very much entertainment.

00:15:02.000 The Lion Ted... 0.86

00:15:04.000 Crazy Hillary, Crazy Bernie, no. 1.00

00:15:06.000 Crooked Hillary. 1.00

00:15:07.000 Crooked Hillary and Crazy Bernie. 0.99

00:15:08.000 He's going to defend Teddy, he said, at a big rally.

00:15:10.000 Defend him?

00:15:11.000 Yeah, he's...

00:15:12.000 For the Texas thing he's in.

00:15:12.000 For what?

00:15:16.000 What are you talking about?

00:15:17.000 I'll pull it up right now.

00:15:19.000 Yeah, he's in a race right now with...

00:15:19.000 Pocahontas?

00:15:21.000 I forget the guy's name.

00:15:22.000 It's Betty O'Rourke or Patty O'Rourke.

00:15:24.000 No, I'll pull it up.

00:15:25.000 Okay, so he's defending him in what way?

00:15:27.000 He's going to hold a big rally for him.

00:15:29.000 Oh. 0.99

00:15:31.000 How gross is that after they talk so much shit about each other? 0.99

00:15:31.000 Pocahontas. 0.99

00:15:34.000 Who, Cruz?

00:15:35.000 Is that what he said?

00:15:35.000 Yeah.

00:15:36.000 Yeah, after he says his father killed Kennedy or something.

00:15:40.000 He said his father was a Zodiac killer.

00:15:42.000 Yeah.

00:15:43.000 I'll be doing a major rally for Senator Ted Cruz in October.

00:15:45.000 I'm picking the biggest stadium in Texas we can find.

00:15:48.000 As you know, Ted has my complete and total endorsement.

00:15:51.000 I like how he wrote endorsement with a capital E. His opponent is a disaster for Texas.

00:15:57.000 Weak on Second Amendment, crime, borders, military, and vets. 0.55

00:16:00.000 There was an article yesterday showing all the times that Trump has been lying.

00:16:05.000 It's stunning.

00:16:07.000 But one of the more recent ones was he was...

00:16:11.000 You know, he did an interview where he was talking about... 0.99

00:16:16.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:16:19.000 Lester Holt. 1.00

00:16:20.000 It was Lester Holt.

00:16:20.000 That's right.

00:16:21.000 And he was saying that they fudged that interview and it cost them badly.

00:16:25.000 And so then they played the transcript.

00:16:27.000 They showed the transcript of the interview.

00:16:29.000 They released the full interview.

00:16:31.000 There's no fudging.

00:16:32.000 No, they just played it as is.

00:16:34.000 Yeah, like, what are you talking about?

00:16:36.000 But he says stuff like that.

00:16:39.000 Right.

00:16:39.000 And he says, what you saw is not real.

00:16:42.000 The truth is not the truth.

00:16:44.000 Well, that was what Giuliani said.

00:16:44.000 Right.

00:16:49.000 Nothing's real except what I tell you is real.

00:16:51.000 I just think that they've realized that there's a certain percentage of the people that are with them that just need some wiggle room.

00:16:59.000 They just need somewhere to argue.

00:17:01.000 They just need some conspiracy threat.

00:17:03.000 They're not thinkers.

00:17:04.000 They just need a little bit of something that they could run with and use to argue.

00:17:08.000 So if comedians come out and attack Trump and, you know, there's comics that are, you know, Bill Maher and all these people that come out and really go against him, does it have any effect?

00:17:18.000 It has an effect.

00:17:19.000 It does?

00:17:19.000 For sure.

00:17:20.000 I think Alec Baldwin has the most effect.

00:17:22.000 Uh-huh.

00:17:22.000 That impression that he does.

00:17:23.000 When he does the impression of him.

00:17:25.000 That impression's brilliant.

00:17:26.000 Yeah.

00:17:27.000 It's very good.

00:17:28.000 I mean, it makes Trump angry, too. 1.00

00:17:30.000 Trump keeps shitting on him. 0.99

00:17:31.000 And he keeps watching it. 1.00

00:17:32.000 He can't stop watching it.

00:17:34.000 That alone has an effect.

00:17:36.000 Yeah.

00:17:37.000 You know?

00:17:38.000 Yeah.

00:17:38.000 But it's like, I've never seen a time where people are more angry at the press and like going along with the conspiracy thread of the deep state.

00:17:50.000 Yeah.

00:17:51.000 The deep state trying to take out the POTUS. I love how they call them POTUS too.

00:17:56.000 It's fucking Donald Trump! 1.00

00:17:57.000 Stop! 1.00

00:17:59.000 POTUS is this and that.

00:17:59.000 No, no, no.

00:18:01.000 He's going to do this and clean the swamp.

00:18:03.000 I'm like, what?

00:18:04.000 It's Donald Trump.

00:18:05.000 Why are you saying POTUS? If you want to say Trump, that's fine.

00:18:09.000 If you want to say President Trump, that's fine too. 0.99

00:18:11.000 If you want to call him POTUS, you're doing some sneaky shit there. 0.99

00:18:14.000 I'm not sure what you're doing, but I don't like it. 0.97

00:18:17.000 Anytime you use code words, I'm out.

00:18:19.000 I don't like what you're doing there.

00:18:20.000 Yeah.

00:18:21.000 Agent 99. POTUS. Get out of here with POTUS. You and the POTUS. I like how he wears a hat that says 45 on it.

00:18:29.000 That's me.

00:18:31.000 45th president.

00:18:32.000 He had his own hats made.

00:18:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:34.000 Who the fuck... 1.00

00:18:34.000 What other president has had hats made? 1.00

00:18:36.000 I know.

00:18:36.000 He has merch.

00:18:38.000 He's selling merch after the show.

00:18:40.000 I'm going to be signing in the lobby.

00:18:41.000 I'll be signing stuff in the lobby.

00:18:44.000 I got painters caps, bumper stickers.

00:18:46.000 Looking for a gift?

00:18:46.000 Look at this.

00:18:48.000 This is a good way to get assaulted. 0.91

00:18:48.000 Is this the Trump... 0.91

00:18:51.000 If you just wear one of these in a vegan restaurant, you're sure to get punched. 0.99

00:18:56.000 Oh my god.

00:18:57.000 That guy's gonna get indicted.

00:18:59.000 That guy that pulled the hat off of some kids and threw a drink on them.

00:19:04.000 Whataburger, is that what it was?

00:19:05.000 The guy in Texas?

00:19:07.000 Yeah, some dude saw some...

00:19:10.000 There, he's got the 45 hats.

00:19:12.000 Hilarious.

00:19:13.000 Official.

00:19:14.000 It's only $185.

00:19:17.000 $50,000. 1.00

00:19:19.000 Buy it, stupid. 1.00

00:19:20.000 One of a kind. 1.00

00:19:23.000 It's on sale.

00:19:24.000 It used to be $28.

00:19:25.000 Now it's $16.80.

00:19:26.000 You can get my DVD. You can get a digital download of my speech tonight.

00:19:31.000 How do you go from $28 to $16.80?

00:19:34.000 Like, I want to be in the room with that conversation.

00:19:36.000 Like, what do you want to charge?

00:19:38.000 $17.38.

00:19:40.000 No.

00:19:42.000 Less.

00:19:42.000 I'll tell you.

00:19:43.000 $16.90.

00:19:44.000 Nah, too close to $17.

00:19:48.000 This one's $40.

00:19:49.000 $40?

00:19:50.000 Oh, it just says USA. It must be a good seller.

00:19:53.000 People love USA. Trump in the back.

00:19:57.000 That is fucking hilarious. 1.00

00:19:59.000 $45 on the side, Trump in the back. 1.00

00:20:00.000 $40 for a hat. 1.00

00:20:02.000 If they find that you bought that, they put you on a very special list of morons. 1.00

00:20:09.000 That they count on whenever there's a rally. 0.99

00:20:11.000 Like if they're gonna like have a fake Hillary in a jail cell and they're gonna throw her through a parade, you know, like have her on a cart and carry her through a parade. 1.00

00:20:21.000 Oh man.

00:20:22.000 You don't want President Pence.

00:20:24.000 Listen, you know, I mean, people that are not happy with Trump, you gotta understand, you get him out, it's not like you get Hillary in.

00:20:32.000 This doesn't work that way.

00:20:34.000 That's right.

00:20:35.000 Bernie doesn't come in out of the hallway.

00:20:39.000 Yeah.

00:20:39.000 I don't know.

00:20:41.000 Wouldn't you rather have Pence?

00:20:44.000 I know people say that, but I just want someone normal.

00:20:47.000 I want someone that...

00:20:48.000 Oh, Pence is not normal.

00:20:49.000 Did you see what Ben Shapiro wrote?

00:20:52.000 He put a tweet up with a picture of the lady from The Handmaid's Tale when Trump was in deep trouble, and he wrote, prepare for Pence.

00:21:00.000 Oh, no. 1.00

00:21:05.000 He's a fucking legit religious nut. 1.00

00:21:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:09.000 Over the top, won't be alone in a room with a woman. 1.00

00:21:12.000 Yeah.

00:21:13.000 How about Romney?

00:21:15.000 Remember Romney?

00:21:16.000 I just saw him on Jay Leno's show.

00:21:18.000 He seems like a reasonable guy.

00:21:20.000 He looks very presidential.

00:21:21.000 He's got cool president hair.

00:21:23.000 I gotta be honest.

00:21:24.000 Romney seems like a reasonable man.

00:21:26.000 He seems kind.

00:21:26.000 He seems like he respects morals.

00:21:29.000 He's a nutty Mormon, for sure. 1.00

00:21:31.000 You know why? 1.00

00:21:32.000 Because all Mormons are nutty Mormons. 1.00

00:21:34.000 Just being a Mormon's nutty. 1.00

00:21:35.000 They changed the name. 0.94

00:21:36.000 You don't call them Mormons anymore.

00:21:37.000 We were talking about that yesterday.

00:21:38.000 They rebranded the Latter-day Saints. 0.95

00:21:41.000 Calling them a Mormon is like calling a small person a midget. 1.00

00:21:44.000 Oh, is it? 0.98

00:21:44.000 Yes. 0.98

00:21:45.000 So a compliment?

00:21:47.000 No!

00:21:48.000 Oh, I keep forgetting what to call him! 0.99

00:21:50.000 Damn it! 0.99

00:21:51.000 Adorable? 1.00

00:21:52.000 You are so not PC. Are you on PC Twitter?

00:21:55.000 Good luck!

00:21:56.000 You need to get on PC Twitter.

00:22:01.000 Hey, can I announce my new show?

00:22:02.000 No.

00:22:03.000 Come on! 0.61

00:22:04.000 No, it's not worth it.

00:22:05.000 It's big!

00:22:06.000 No, it's too dangerous!

00:22:07.000 You spawned it!

00:22:07.000 You're taking a chance!

00:22:09.000 Why are you doing this?

00:22:12.000 I know, right, exactly.

00:22:13.000 I'll be fired before it starts.

00:22:15.000 No risks!

00:22:16.000 He announced the show on Rogan, and then he was canceled by the time he got off.

00:22:20.000 They were talking about midgets. 1.00

00:22:22.000 They're assholes, and Mormons are wonderful people. 1.00

00:22:28.000 It's true. 1.00

00:22:29.000 Once you have a boss.

00:22:30.000 No, my show starts Monday night.

00:22:30.000 Yeah.

00:22:32.000 The Bread Show?

00:22:33.000 What's it called?

00:22:33.000 Yeah.

00:22:34.000 Baked.

00:22:35.000 Ooh, I like it.

00:22:36.000 It's baked.

00:22:37.000 Look at that.

00:22:37.000 Look how handsome you look.

00:22:39.000 It started here, Joe.

00:22:40.000 The whole thing started here.

00:22:41.000 I like how you have a subtle smile.

00:22:42.000 It's like, I'm happy, but, you know, I'm pretty serious about bread.

00:22:46.000 You know what the The real reason I do that, I look awful when I just show my teeth.

00:22:50.000 No, you don't!

00:22:51.000 You don't!

00:22:52.000 You look great!

00:22:53.000 I got this weird joker smile.

00:22:55.000 No, you don't.

00:22:57.000 If you just embrace it.

00:22:59.000 I like all that bread behind you.

00:23:02.000 I know.

00:23:02.000 Isn't that amazing?

00:23:03.000 I'm in ketosis right now.

00:23:05.000 Well, I knew that.

00:23:06.000 I can't be eating that.

00:23:06.000 The show starts this Monday night at 10 o'clock east, and we were doing New York and Detroit.

00:23:12.000 Jim Gaffigan joins me in the New York one.

00:23:14.000 It's all very cool.

00:23:16.000 So every Monday through September, all because of this show, and you're badass fans. 0.80

00:23:20.000 Crazy.

00:23:21.000 Honestly, that is why this is happening.

00:23:23.000 That's awesome.

00:23:23.000 It's because I talked about Brett on this show.

00:23:25.000 That's fucking great, man. 0.97

00:23:26.000 But I knew you were probably in keto, but I always like to bring a treat. 0.98

00:23:31.000 What's this?

00:23:31.000 What'd you bring?

00:23:32.000 I didn't want to...

00:23:35.000 Come empty-handed.

00:23:36.000 Ooh, what is it?

00:23:37.000 Sticks of butter?

00:23:37.000 It's for Murphy.

00:23:38.000 Oh, it's bone marrow!

00:23:40.000 It's elk.

00:23:41.000 Oh my goodness.

00:23:42.000 Elk antlers for...

00:23:44.000 Can I eat this?

00:23:44.000 You can't.

00:23:45.000 No.

00:23:46.000 It's for Murph.

00:23:47.000 Marshall, you mean.

00:23:48.000 I mean Marshall.

00:23:49.000 Yeah.

00:23:49.000 I thought it was Marshall.

00:23:50.000 He'll go crazy with these.

00:23:51.000 Yeah.

00:23:52.000 That's like one of those.

00:23:53.000 My dog went crazy over those.

00:23:55.000 Did you ever give your dog them?

00:23:57.000 Yeah, he's got one at home right now.

00:23:58.000 He does?

00:23:59.000 Yeah, he's got some sort of an antler.

00:24:00.000 He loves it.

00:24:01.000 They go crazy.

00:24:03.000 They just chew all the marrow out over time.

00:24:06.000 You look so happy when you're with your dog.

00:24:08.000 Oh, I love that dog.

00:24:09.000 You look so happy.

00:24:10.000 He's my little buddy.

00:24:11.000 It's just pure joy.

00:24:12.000 And the dog looks happy.

00:24:13.000 Well, he loves running.

00:24:15.000 And, you know, you get a dog out in nature.

00:24:18.000 And he's, like, the best dog I've ever had.

00:24:20.000 Really?

00:24:20.000 In terms of, like, listening and coming to you.

00:24:23.000 Always checking to make sure.

00:24:23.000 Yeah.

00:24:24.000 Because he's a retriever.

00:24:25.000 Yeah.

00:24:26.000 You know, so he's, like...

00:24:27.000 Super in tune with you.

00:24:28.000 He's so funny.

00:24:29.000 When I come home, the first thing he does, he sees me, wags his tail, comes up to me, and then he runs, grabs a toy, puts it in his mouth, and then comes back to me.

00:24:39.000 Like he's retrieving something.

00:24:40.000 He has these instincts to bring something to me.

00:24:43.000 My black lab has the same thing.

00:24:44.000 Same thing.

00:24:45.000 I always feel bad that if I don't have time to play and start tugging with her because she's just like, you're here, let's go, let's play.

00:24:52.000 Yeah, let's do it.

00:24:53.000 And when you don't, you have to work and you get on the phone or whatever and they just lay on the ground like, oh.

00:24:58.000 Yeah.

00:24:59.000 I came home the other night at like 1 o'clock in the morning, you know, from the comedy store, and I sat on the couch to start writing, and Marshall just comes over and goes, dude, what's going on?

00:25:10.000 It's like a roommate.

00:25:10.000 What are we doing?

00:25:12.000 I'm like, what's happening?

00:25:12.000 You're up?

00:25:13.000 This is crazy.

00:25:14.000 Everybody else is asleep.

00:25:15.000 They've been asleep for hours.

00:25:16.000 What are we doing? 1.00

00:25:17.000 Are you just going to fuck around on the laptop? 1.00

00:25:18.000 Alright, I'm going to lie down right here. 1.00

00:25:20.000 He just slides down.

00:25:21.000 It's the best.

00:25:22.000 There is a great feeling when you're riding and the dog is right next to you. 1.00

00:25:25.000 Still until those fucking farts hit you. 1.00

00:25:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:25:28.000 Like, whoa, dude.

00:25:29.000 Did you eat a rat outside or something?

00:25:31.000 What happened?

00:25:32.000 Well, I hope he enjoys the elk.

00:25:35.000 Thank you, man.

00:25:36.000 You're welcome.

00:25:36.000 That's awesome.

00:25:37.000 Yeah, he's the best.

00:25:38.000 Best dog I've ever had.

00:25:40.000 I've got to find good trails.

00:25:41.000 Johnny Cash was an awesome dog, too.

00:25:43.000 Look at that face.

00:25:44.000 He's just lying on his back.

00:25:45.000 Yeah, so happy.

00:25:46.000 He's such a happy dog.

00:25:47.000 Oh, man.

00:25:49.000 My dog would be happy like that if I could find some good trails.

00:25:51.000 I don't have good trails.

00:25:53.000 I just take him to Runyon or something, you know?

00:25:55.000 Can he just run up Runyon?

00:25:57.000 Yeah, you just got to be careful of other people's dogs.

00:25:59.000 Like Marshall got bit by someone's dog once.

00:26:02.000 You know, some people just have dogs that just are not that well, you know...

00:26:06.000 Socialized.

00:26:07.000 Yeah.

00:26:08.000 Yeah, but if you have them on a leash, for the most part, or you find a good spot where you don't have to have them on a leash, that's great.

00:26:16.000 That's what I want to do.

00:26:17.000 Other dogs are the issue.

00:26:18.000 Right.

00:26:19.000 And snakes.

00:26:20.000 Ooh.

00:26:21.000 Rattlesnakes.

00:26:22.000 Rattlesnakes you have to be very careful around us, out here.

00:26:25.000 You guys go up.

00:26:26.000 You're running.

00:26:27.000 Dog gets bit by a rattlesnake.

00:26:29.000 You're a quarter mile from base camp.

00:26:31.000 He'll be okay.

00:26:32.000 Dogs will be way better off than people.

00:26:34.000 You can run back with him?

00:26:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:26:36.000 You take him back.

00:26:37.000 It won't circulate?

00:26:38.000 I mean, I might have to carry him because it's really steep.

00:26:38.000 I might have to carry him.

00:26:42.000 The stuff that we run on is literally super fucking steep.

00:26:46.000 Yeah. 0.73

00:26:46.000 Oh, yeah? 0.73

00:26:47.000 It's basically the last three quarters of a mile is all uphill. 0.99

00:26:53.000 Yeah, and it's fucking brutal. 0.99

00:26:53.000 Oof. 0.99

00:26:55.000 But it's great on the legs and the ass. 1.00

00:26:56.000 You feel my ass right there, bro? 1.00

00:26:57.000 On the top, I have my ass shell. 1.00

00:26:59.000 Well, happy Labor Day. 0.99

00:27:01.000 But I thought when you got hit by a rattler, you're supposed to not move.

00:27:05.000 No, you've got to get out of there.

00:27:06.000 You've got to get to medical attention.

00:27:07.000 You've got to go.

00:27:08.000 What it does is, here's the thing, you can't suck the venom out.

00:27:11.000 This is what people think.

00:27:13.000 People think, oh, you just cut it and suck the venom out.

00:27:15.000 This is what rattlesnake venom does. 0.99

00:27:17.000 What it does is it digests your skin.

00:27:21.000 It digests your flesh.

00:27:22.000 The venom does.

00:27:23.000 Yes, it causes necrosis.

00:27:25.000 So what it essentially is doing is digesting you with venom.

00:27:30.000 This is the way they kill rabbits and things that they eat and swallow.

00:27:35.000 They bite them and then they kill them with venom and it starts to digest the flesh.

00:27:40.000 And then they swallow it whole and it aids in their processing of this animal.

00:27:45.000 Wait a minute.

00:27:46.000 Whoa! 0.71

00:27:47.000 So the snake hits a rat.

00:27:50.000 Yep.

00:27:51.000 If he were to take his mouth off after five minutes, would it have been partially digested?

00:27:56.000 Yes.

00:27:57.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:27:57.000 The tissue inside starts digesting.

00:28:01.000 Yeah, it starts decomposing and digesting.

00:28:04.000 So when you get bit by a rattlesnake, a lot of times you need massive skin grafts and you have massive tissue loss and necrosis.

00:28:14.000 This one guy documented...

00:28:16.000 He got bit on the arm and they had a med vac amount in the helicopter and then he had to go through a long series of operations to repair his arm. 0.98

00:28:26.000 Like mesh and skin grafts and all these different things and it still was fucked up. 0.97

00:28:32.000 Like years later his arm was fucked up. 0.99

00:28:34.000 So if you didn't get medical attention why would you die? 0.99

00:28:37.000 It would just spread through your organs?

00:28:40.000 I don't exactly know.

00:28:42.000 You might survive a rattlesnake bite if you didn't get medical attention, if it wasn't the most amount of venom.

00:28:49.000 The real scary thing is young ones.

00:28:51.000 Young rattlesnakes just empty out on you, just like young boys. 0.99

00:28:59.000 Pace yourself, young fella.

00:29:01.000 You're like, whoa, where's all this coming from?

00:29:02.000 You've been storing it up, you don't know how to control it.

00:29:05.000 That's how it is with young rattlesnakes.

00:29:07.000 You want the old rattlesnake where it's just one drop at a time.

00:29:09.000 Yeah, like an 80-year-old man. 0.99

00:29:14.000 So if you have, you know, the difference between like an 18-year-old fella shooting, as Bill Hicks would say, arcing ropes of jism versus a rattlesnake that's like thick like a fucking tree trunk. 0.99

00:29:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:29.000 I ran over one once. 0.99

00:29:31.000 This is crazy.

00:29:32.000 I was running with my, not the last dogs that are deceased, but my dogs before that, when I used to have pit bulls.

00:29:39.000 And we ran over what I thought was a large stick in the road, in the trail.

00:29:46.000 And as I'm running over it in the air, I realize it is a giant rattlesnake.

00:29:53.000 Thick as my forearm.

00:29:54.000 Oh my god.

00:29:55.000 It was huge.

00:29:56.000 Seven feet long.

00:29:57.000 Just in the middle of the trail?

00:29:57.000 Jeez.

00:29:59.000 Just completely stretched out like a stick.

00:30:01.000 Oh my god.

00:30:02.000 Just sunning itself.

00:30:03.000 And the dogs ran right over it. 0.87

00:30:05.000 And it didn't strike you?

00:30:06.000 No.

00:30:07.000 The dogs luckily listened to me and they weren't aware of what it was. 0.94

00:30:12.000 But those dogs were crazy.

00:30:14.000 Those dogs had been bitten three times.

00:30:16.000 Oh my god.

00:30:17.000 Yeah, my dogs had been bitten three times by snakes.

00:30:19.000 So they knew.

00:30:20.000 They just killed the snakes. 0.99

00:30:21.000 They didn't give a fuck. 1.00

00:30:22.000 Pit bulls are so crazy. 1.00

00:30:23.000 They're the craziest dogs. 0.97

00:30:25.000 They're so hardwired for combat. 0.94

00:30:28.000 Right. 1.00

00:30:28.000 Like the rattlesnake was like, and the pit bull was like, fuck you! 1.00

00:30:33.000 Ha! 1.00

00:30:34.000 Just grabbed him and killed him. 0.99

00:30:37.000 They didn't even worry for a second. 0.99

00:30:39.000 He got bit in the face.

00:30:40.000 And one time he got bit.

00:30:42.000 He's been bit in the face.

00:30:43.000 He got bit in the face a couple.

00:30:43.000 This is Frank Sinatra.

00:30:45.000 Great.

00:30:46.000 That's great.

00:30:47.000 I love that you named a dog so not.

00:30:49.000 He was the craziest dog I've ever had.

00:30:50.000 That dog killed everything he could.

00:30:52.000 His main game was I'd leave him in the yard and he would try to kill lizards.

00:30:56.000 His main game was like a video game.

00:30:58.000 He would just walk around the yard stomping on the grass looking for lizards and then dive on them.

00:31:02.000 It was like a game to him just trying to find lizards to kill.

00:31:06.000 How was he with people?

00:31:07.000 He was wonderful with people.

00:31:08.000 He was a sweet, sweet dog.

00:31:09.000 Would never go after a person.

00:31:11.000 No, no, he never bit a person.

00:31:13.000 He was a little aggressive with his, like, wanted to play and kind of freak people out.

00:31:19.000 Because he liked to play and pull ropes with you.

00:31:21.000 Like, he'd want to grab a rope and bring it to you and have you pull on it.

00:31:24.000 And he would make these horrific noises.

00:31:26.000 So you'd be pulling it.

00:31:27.000 He'd be like... 1.00

00:31:31.000 And people are like, what the fuck, man? 1.00

00:31:33.000 I'm like, he's just playing. 1.00

00:31:34.000 He's a sweet dog.

00:31:35.000 Watch.

00:31:35.000 Let go.

00:31:36.000 Give me a kiss.

00:31:38.000 Right, right. 0.75

00:31:39.000 Give me crazy kisses.

00:31:40.000 But he was so...

00:31:41.000 They get a bad rap, though.

00:31:42.000 They deserve it.

00:31:44.000 Yeah.

00:31:44.000 They deserve it.

00:31:45.000 They deserve it.

00:31:45.000 Yeah, they deserve it.

00:31:46.000 Because you don't know.

00:31:47.000 If you're just walking down the street and you see a pit bull off-leash...

00:31:50.000 You should be cautious.

00:31:51.000 People don't want to hear that because they love their dog.

00:31:53.000 They're like, my dog is different.

00:31:54.000 Don't say that.

00:31:55.000 They are bred to fight.

00:31:57.000 That's what they're bred for.

00:31:59.000 That's where they came from?

00:32:00.000 Yep.

00:32:00.000 That's where the breed?

00:32:01.000 No bullshit. 0.92

00:32:02.000 The reason why they're such great dogs is because they're bred, the good ones at least, to have no aggression whatsoever towards people. 0.89

00:32:09.000 So that when the dogs are fighting, they can go in and separate them with no fear of the dogs turning on the owner.

00:32:16.000 Oh.

00:32:17.000 Interesting.

00:32:18.000 Interesting.

00:32:18.000 Where'd they do this?

00:32:19.000 Ireland?

00:32:20.000 America, bro.

00:32:21.000 America?

00:32:22.000 It's American Pitbull.

00:32:24.000 Yeah, that's what it's called.

00:32:25.000 American Pitbull Terrier.

00:32:26.000 What do you think the Michael Vick thing was all about?

00:32:29.000 Right.

00:32:29.000 But they've been around for a long time, though, haven't they?

00:32:31.000 Sure, over a hundred years.

00:32:33.000 More, a couple hundred years.

00:32:34.000 But that was originally going to be our national animal.

00:32:38.000 Was it really?

00:32:39.000 Before they went with the eagle.

00:32:41.000 Yeah.

00:32:41.000 Didn't Ben Franklin sell the eagle?

00:32:43.000 I don't know.

00:32:44.000 I don't know whose idea it was.

00:32:46.000 Who wanted the pit bull? 1.00

00:32:47.000 I don't know.

00:32:48.000 I mean, they used it as war dogs.

00:32:50.000 They used them in the army.

00:32:52.000 That would have been a cool symbol.

00:32:54.000 Sort of, but the problem with those dogs is multifold.

00:33:00.000 One, they have a very high prey drive.

00:33:03.000 Their drive to attack things is very high.

00:33:06.000 And the more they're bred for that, the more intelligent they are, the more intense they are, and people love them because of their intensity and their intelligence and their loyalty towards their owners is incredible.

00:33:19.000 Outrageous.

00:33:19.000 So that love is deep.

00:33:20.000 That's why the pit bull people, because they really do, if you say anything, they get really up in arms about it.

00:33:27.000 They don't want them to have a bad rap.

00:33:30.000 Dude, I love those dogs.

00:33:31.000 Don't get me wrong.

00:33:32.000 I love those dogs.

00:33:33.000 But one of my dogs killed one of my other dogs.

00:33:35.000 Oh, really?

00:33:36.000 Oh, my God.

00:33:36.000 Yes.

00:33:37.000 Yeah, you can't have two female pit bulls. 1.00

00:33:39.000 You can't have that.

00:33:40.000 Two females, they'll just go at each other? 1.00

00:33:42.000 Yeah, they never sort it out.

00:33:44.000 They never decide who the boss is.

00:33:46.000 They start off, they'll have a fight, and then one will win, and then you say, okay, well, in a normal situation, this one realizes that it's the alpha, and then the other one will back off.

00:33:46.000 Wow.

00:34:00.000 No, no fucking way. 1.00

00:34:02.000 Not with girls. 1.00

00:34:02.000 They won't quit. 1.00

00:34:03.000 Girls never quit. 1.00

00:34:04.000 They go back to it.

00:34:04.000 Wow.

00:34:05.000 What if one of them was hanging out with Marshall?

00:34:08.000 Oh, they'd be fine.

00:34:09.000 They'd be fine?

00:34:09.000 Yeah, well, she was fine with my male dogs.

00:34:11.000 It was female dogs. 1.00

00:34:13.000 She didn't want other females around. 1.00

00:34:14.000 But she was not fine with my males if the male was getting attention and she wasn't. 0.53

00:34:19.000 She would get angry.

00:34:19.000 Like, you're stealing my attention.

00:34:22.000 Well, she was a prison dog. 1.00

00:34:24.000 Oh, really?

00:34:25.000 She was in the LA animal shelter for many months.

00:34:27.000 Oh, wow.

00:34:27.000 When I got her, Brian Callen is the one who talked me in again.

00:34:29.000 Oh, yeah?

00:34:30.000 He goes, dude, you gotta get this dog.

00:34:32.000 He goes, I can't get her.

00:34:33.000 My yard's too small.

00:34:34.000 He goes, this dog is so amazing, so sweet.

00:34:35.000 And I went to see her, and she was the sweetest dog to people.

00:34:39.000 To people.

00:34:39.000 How old?

00:34:40.000 Was it a puppy still?

00:34:41.000 She was 11 months.

00:34:42.000 Still a puppy.

00:34:43.000 When I got her, yeah.

00:34:43.000 She was still a puppy.

00:34:44.000 But she was amazing. 0.99

00:34:46.000 But they're just fucking dangerous around dogs. 0.99

00:34:48.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:34:49.000 My sister had a bull mastiff. 1.00

00:34:52.000 Oh, those are great.

00:34:53.000 Great dogs.

00:34:54.000 That's different.

00:34:54.000 So kind to people, like loving, like you put them with children.

00:34:58.000 I mean, it's a big dog.

00:34:59.000 Its head is like our heads combined.

00:35:02.000 But other dogs, other small dogs.

00:35:04.000 Really?

00:35:05.000 It was bred for that.

00:35:06.000 And it would go and just any dog on a leash with an old lady attached did not care. 0.99

00:35:11.000 Oh, no.

00:35:11.000 And would just pin it to the ground.

00:35:12.000 Oh, that's awful.

00:35:13.000 And you just couldn't get it out.

00:35:15.000 I mean, it's just in the breed.

00:35:16.000 I had a dog that was a Mastiff that just died.

00:35:19.000 Oh no.

00:35:21.000 His name is Johnny Cash.

00:35:23.000 We just had to put him down.

00:35:24.000 He couldn't walk anymore.

00:35:26.000 He was 13. This is the saddest moment like the last week of his life.

00:35:32.000 Marshall was in the pool and he was jumping around and playing with my daughters and everybody was having a good time and Johnny wanted to come to the pool but he couldn't walk over there.

00:35:41.000 And so he would take a couple steps and he'd be panting and his legs would be shaking and he'd take a couple steps and he's panting and his legs are shaking and he was just in agony.

00:35:50.000 So I picked him up, all like 140 pounds of him.

00:35:55.000 It's a big dog.

00:35:57.000 Every time I run, man, I start coughing.

00:35:58.000 I ran this morning, and then for the rest of the day, I'm like, when I try to talk, I got like, eh-eh in my throat.

00:36:05.000 It's the soot.

00:36:05.000 It's the dirt.

00:36:07.000 I'm breathing in dust and pollen, and I'm in the bottom of these canyons running through all this shit, and the dog's in front of me kicking up dirt. 0.98

00:36:15.000 I ran on the concrete today, and I'm... 0.97

00:36:18.000 My point is I carried him.

00:36:20.000 So I had to carry him over to the pool.

00:36:23.000 And I sat him down there and he just laid down there and he was smiling and panting.

00:36:27.000 He was totally deaf by the time he died.

00:36:30.000 Like completely deaf. 0.99

00:36:31.000 Like he would be lying there.

00:36:32.000 He'd be like, Johnny, you hungry?

00:36:33.000 Johnny! 0.96

00:36:34.000 And then you'd touch him and be like, where'd you come from?

00:36:36.000 Oh, really?

00:36:37.000 That's the bummer about big dogs.

00:36:39.000 They die so...

00:36:40.000 Well, 13's not that bad.

00:36:41.000 It was amazing.

00:36:43.000 They usually die at like 9. 8, 9, they're ready to go.

00:36:46.000 That's what's so...

00:36:46.000 I can't...

00:36:48.000 My dog's about 80 pounds.

00:36:50.000 And, you know, it's a big presence.

00:36:53.000 140, that's a big thing in your house.

00:36:55.000 And to know that you fall deeply in love with it and then it's going to be gone in six, seven years, it's a heartbreak.

00:37:01.000 It's hard.

00:37:02.000 He was the sweetest dog to everybody.

00:37:04.000 Dogs, people, everybody.

00:37:07.000 Just a giant, lovable...

00:37:10.000 Recently, you had to put him down?

00:37:11.000 Oh, yeah, a couple weeks ago.

00:37:13.000 I'm sorry.

00:37:14.000 Yeah, it was rough.

00:37:16.000 That is rough.

00:37:16.000 But it was really hard seeing him suffer.

00:37:19.000 How long?

00:37:20.000 Well, the last year was rough.

00:37:23.000 In the last couple of months, it was, when do we do this?

00:37:26.000 It was like, when do we put him down?

00:37:28.000 Because I don't want to come home and find him dead.

00:37:30.000 Yeah, but for a year, you knew he was kind of...

00:37:33.000 It's a slow deterioration.

00:37:34.000 I couldn't walk him anymore.

00:37:36.000 That was about two years ago.

00:37:38.000 About two years ago.

00:37:39.000 I just couldn't walk him.

00:37:40.000 Because where I live is a lot of hills.

00:37:41.000 He just couldn't do the hills.

00:37:43.000 He would just take a few steps and have to breathe heavy.

00:37:48.000 And I was like, oh, Jesus.

00:37:49.000 I didn't think he was going to last as long as he did.

00:37:51.000 That's good.

00:37:52.000 It's a good life.

00:37:53.000 He was the best.

00:37:54.000 He was a super sweet dog.

00:37:57.000 Always sweet and kind.

00:37:59.000 He could be eating a steak and you could come over to him and you could take the steak from him and be like, why'd you do that?

00:38:05.000 He would never growl at you.

00:38:06.000 Right.

00:38:07.000 You let your dog in the pool?

00:38:09.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:10.000 Yeah?

00:38:10.000 Why not?

00:38:11.000 I don't know.

00:38:11.000 I think it's going to be all wet in the house.

00:38:14.000 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

00:38:15.000 Dry him off, bro. 1.00

00:38:16.000 Dogs love to get dried off.

00:38:18.000 When Marshall comes out of the pool, I pull the towel.

00:38:21.000 He's like,''Oh, yeah!

00:38:22.000 It's time for a massage!'' He comes over and I rub him and he's like, oh, yeah.

00:38:27.000 Chlorine or salt water?

00:38:28.000 Oh, salt.

00:38:29.000 He's like, oh, yeah.

00:38:31.000 Oh, yeah.

00:38:32.000 Do it, Joe.

00:38:33.000 Do it, Joe.

00:38:34.000 He loves it because I get one of them big beach towels and I throw it over him and I just start rubbing him down.

00:38:37.000 He loves it.

00:38:39.000 He sees that towel.

00:38:40.000 He comes running towards me. 1.00

00:38:41.000 He's like, massage time, motherfucker. 1.00

00:38:44.000 What about all the hair in the pool? 1.00

00:38:46.000 Yeah, there's a lot of hair in the pool.

00:38:47.000 You gotta scoop that up.

00:38:49.000 Yeah.

00:38:49.000 Yeah, it comes in clumps.

00:38:51.000 Yeah, retrievers.

00:38:52.000 You find it at the bottom, and it looks like algae's growing at the bottom of the pool.

00:38:56.000 I know!

00:38:56.000 That's nasty hair!

00:38:59.000 I've been keeping my dog out of the pool.

00:39:02.000 Come on, man, why would you do that? 1.00

00:39:03.000 If you live in L.A., it's hot as fuck, let the dog swim! 1.00

00:39:03.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:39:06.000 Jesus, man.

00:39:07.000 Yeah?

00:39:08.000 Yes!

00:39:09.000 Ooh, the hair in the pool! 1.00

00:39:11.000 Look at the fuck! 1.00

00:39:12.000 Take a shower! 1.00

00:39:14.000 What are you worried about?

00:39:15.000 It's water!

00:39:16.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:39:17.000 Seems like a pain in the ass. 1.00

00:39:18.000 Is the hair dirty? 1.00

00:39:19.000 Well then, it's water.

00:39:21.000 The hair's in water.

00:39:22.000 What about chlorine?

00:39:23.000 Can I get that on the dog's skin?

00:39:25.000 Is that alright?

00:39:25.000 Yeah!

00:39:25.000 It's on your skin.

00:39:26.000 Just wash them off afterwards.

00:39:28.000 Right.

00:39:28.000 Hose them down.

00:39:29.000 Hose them down.

00:39:29.000 Why would you worry about the dog and not yourself?

00:39:31.000 I only worry about myself and not the dog.

00:39:31.000 Jesus.

00:39:34.000 Why don't you get a salt water thing for your pool?

00:39:37.000 So use the salt water.

00:39:38.000 Yeah.

00:39:38.000 It's a whole rigmaroo.

00:39:40.000 Yeah, but it's not that hard.

00:39:42.000 No, I know.

00:39:43.000 I'm working on other projects. 1.00

00:39:45.000 Damn. 1.00

00:39:45.000 You're just one of those guys that dismisses important things in your life. 1.00

00:39:48.000 It's not true.

00:39:49.000 I just see it. 0.97

00:39:50.000 You put that in the back so when I get high, I think about it incessantly, and it fucks with my head.

00:39:55.000 Is that what happens?

00:39:57.000 To me.

00:39:58.000 Yeah?

00:39:59.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:59.000 Yeah, that's number one thing.

00:40:01.000 You ever get high and then you realize, oh, I haven't been thinking about this at all, and then when you're high, it's the only thing you're thinking about?

00:40:06.000 Oh, for sure.

00:40:08.000 Things that I, you know, should have been thinking about like a year ago.

00:40:13.000 You're like, why is this?

00:40:14.000 How do I fix that sprinkler?

00:40:16.000 How much is that leaking water?

00:40:17.000 How much water is that leaking?

00:40:19.000 What if we run out of water?

00:40:20.000 Then I have to think about all the water that was leaking because the sprinkler is broken.

00:40:24.000 I should just do it.

00:40:25.000 What's wrong with me?

00:40:25.000 I'll just do that.

00:40:26.000 Why can't I just make that call?

00:40:28.000 How's it hard to make that call?

00:40:29.000 You know what freaks me out lately?

00:40:31.000 Emails.

00:40:31.000 There's no way I can keep up.

00:40:32.000 It's impossible now at this point.

00:40:34.000 Do you have a number that you try and stay below in your inbox?

00:40:38.000 No.

00:40:38.000 That's how I do it.

00:40:39.000 No.

00:40:40.000 If I can stay, if I'm under 75, I know I'm on top of it.

00:40:45.000 75? 1.00

00:40:46.000 I'm going to show you something that's about your fucking hair to spin. 1.00

00:40:50.000 Look at that number. 1.00

00:40:52.000 Where are we?

00:40:53.000 Upper left.

00:40:54.000 4,655 in one account?

00:40:57.000 Good luck with those. 0.98

00:40:58.000 Is that also your garbage account? 0.98

00:41:00.000 No! 0.99

00:41:00.000 That's just your... 0.99

00:41:01.000 No!

00:41:01.000 That's email.

00:41:03.000 No!

00:41:04.000 4,000 emails.

00:41:06.000 What?

00:41:06.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:41:08.000 Why are you doing that to yourself?

00:41:09.000 How are you going to do that?

00:41:10.000 Doesn't that weigh on you?

00:41:11.000 Nope.

00:41:11.000 Come on.

00:41:12.000 Nope.

00:41:12.000 Doesn't it feel like a cluttered desk?

00:41:15.000 Well, I have more than one email account.

00:41:17.000 One for business, for managers and close friends.

00:41:21.000 And then there's one for people that have known me forever.

00:41:24.000 And then there's a business one for people that I don't know that well, that aren't in my inner circle.

00:41:31.000 But that's a lot of emails, bro.

00:41:35.000 It's a lot.

00:41:36.000 But your important one is your inner circle and your business, and that's not 4,000.

00:41:41.000 That's a lot.

00:41:42.000 Hundreds.

00:41:43.000 Hundreds?

00:41:44.000 Hundreds.

00:41:46.000 And a lot of it's nonsense. 0.57

00:41:48.000 It's all nonsense, but then you feel like you can't throw it out. 0.98

00:41:51.000 If I could just keep it, I have a garbage account.

00:41:54.000 I have, I mean, my one account that is, yeah, here you go, down there.

00:42:00.000 Oh, that's not bad.

00:42:01.000 9,978.

00:42:06.000 But that's because I have an AOL account that I just, anytime you're in a store, anytime, whatever, you sign up for something, can I have your email, can I have your email?

00:42:14.000 It all gets that, and that's why it blows up.

00:42:17.000 But my private account, my inner circle one, under 100. That's where I'm staying.

00:42:23.000 You got basically about 4,000 big dick pill ads. 0.98

00:42:28.000 Yeah, exactly. 0.98

00:42:30.000 I'll try this cough drop, see if it'll keep me from coughing.

00:42:32.000 Does cough drops work?

00:42:33.000 Yeah, they do work.

00:42:35.000 I'm not coughing unless I'm talking.

00:42:37.000 And when I'm talking, I just feel the, in the back of my throat.

00:42:41.000 And it's right at, it's like two hours after running.

00:42:45.000 Always?

00:42:45.000 Yeah.

00:42:46.000 Up to two hours.

00:42:48.000 After that, it sort of goes away.

00:42:49.000 It's like my body cleans out.

00:42:50.000 You have to run with one of those masks that they wear at the airport.

00:42:53.000 One of those, what, China masks?

00:42:54.000 Yeah.

00:42:55.000 You want some tea or anything?

00:42:57.000 No.

00:42:57.000 No, I'll be alright.

00:42:58.000 I'm going to try this coffee.

00:42:59.000 Some coffee?

00:43:00.000 Yeah.

00:43:01.000 I don't think that helps.

00:43:02.000 Coffee generates phlegm.

00:43:04.000 Hey, I saw an article this morning.

00:43:05.000 I wanted to get your thoughts on it.

00:43:07.000 I was reading about that they're thinking about putting video gaming in the Olympics.

00:43:17.000 Yeah.

00:43:17.000 And the way they were talking about it, they're like, this is inevitable.

00:43:20.000 This is going to be in the Olympics.

00:43:22.000 And these kids consider themselves athletes.

00:43:25.000 The only hang-up that they had on it was that the video games are violent.

00:43:29.000 And they don't want to promote that.

00:43:31.000 But to me, it was like, well, wait, is this really a sport?

00:43:35.000 This is the Olympics trying to cash in.

00:43:38.000 That's all that is. 0.87

00:43:39.000 I think the Olympics are dirty.

00:43:40.000 I think it's a dirty business.

00:43:42.000 And this was highlighted by the movie Icarus.

00:43:46.000 If you watch that movie and you realize how the IOC is in bed with the World Anti-Doping Agency and how, you know, how they sort of function together and what it really is all about is making money.

00:44:03.000 And anything that compromises that making money, they're going to vote against it.

00:44:07.000 It's just, it's not...

00:44:09.000 It's a dirty business.

00:44:10.000 Right.

00:44:11.000 And if they did have it in the Olympics, what they would basically do is take these guys who are making millions and millions of dollars playing video games at a professional level.

00:44:19.000 Yeah.

00:44:20.000 Millions!

00:44:21.000 They would make them work for free.

00:44:23.000 And then they would make all the millions and millions of dollars.

00:44:25.000 But they'd say, but yay, you get to be in the Olympics.

00:44:27.000 Right.

00:44:27.000 It's a dirty business.

00:44:29.000 I think the Olympics are dirty.

00:44:30.000 I really do. 0.82

00:44:31.000 That's terrible.

00:44:33.000 Yeah.

00:44:33.000 Well, is chess in the Olympics?

00:44:35.000 No.

00:44:35.000 Why isn't that in the Olympics?

00:44:37.000 But chess, you're actually moving pieces around.

00:44:37.000 They even took wrestling out.

00:44:39.000 Video games, you're just icons on a screen.

00:44:42.000 What do you mean they took wrestling out?

00:44:44.000 They took wrestling out of the Olympics.

00:44:48.000 Yeah!

00:44:48.000 No!

00:44:49.000 Yes, they did.

00:44:49.000 No, they didn't.

00:44:50.000 No!

00:44:51.000 Yes, I love wrestling.

00:44:52.000 And they took it out.

00:44:53.000 They might have brought it back, but it was gone.

00:44:55.000 Right, Jamie?

00:44:56.000 No, no.

00:44:57.000 Wrestling's not out of the Olympics.

00:44:58.000 Yes, they took it out.

00:45:00.000 There was no wrestling in the Summer Olympics.

00:45:02.000 I'm not kidding.

00:45:02.000 Come on.

00:45:03.000 For real?

00:45:04.000 For real.

00:45:05.000 That doesn't make any sense.

00:45:06.000 I know.

00:45:07.000 That's crazy.

00:45:08.000 Why wouldn't I have heard of that?

00:45:10.000 I know there was at one point in time, they were talking about it, but I thought it was put back in.

00:45:18.000 It was out for at least one.

00:45:18.000 What does it say?

00:45:20.000 And 2013 IOC voted to drop wrestling from the Summer Olympic program effective 2020. Is that real?

00:45:28.000 Yeah, I don't know if it's happened yet, because it's supposed to be for 2020. I don't know if it's...

00:45:32.000 I'm pretty sure it was in the Olympics in the summer.

00:45:34.000 Well, it's not 2020 yet, so...

00:45:35.000 No, but I mean the last Olympics that he's saying it wasn't in.

00:45:38.000 I don't think it was.

00:45:39.000 Yeah, I think it was.

00:45:41.000 I don't think it was!

00:45:43.000 Call Bob Costa!

00:45:44.000 Call him now!

00:45:46.000 Bob!

00:45:47.000 Bob, is your eye cured? 1.00

00:45:49.000 Bob was on an episode of NewsRadio kicked my ass. 1.00

00:45:53.000 That was the episode. 1.00

00:45:54.000 Oh, really?

00:45:54.000 I thought he was hitting on this girl that I was dating.

00:45:57.000 So he beat me up.

00:45:58.000 Yeah, there it is in the Olympics.

00:45:59.000 Oh, I guess Tom Papa's wrong again.

00:46:00.000 Oh, that's from the 70s.

00:46:01.000 Look at that guy's jacket.

00:46:03.000 Did you see that guy's?

00:46:04.000 Did you see that referee's jacket?

00:46:06.000 Speaking of the 70s, I came home last night.

00:46:07.000 Yeah, look at that guy.

00:46:08.000 Oh, look at that guy.

00:46:09.000 Jesus Christ.

00:46:11.000 1896. Go back to that.

00:46:13.000 And they took it out.

00:46:15.000 Alright, so maybe it was in last time. 1.00

00:46:17.000 You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 0.98

00:46:18.000 But they voted against it now. 1.00

00:46:20.000 He's trying to look jacked. 0.97

00:46:21.000 He is jacked. 0.99

00:46:22.000 Look at that chest.

00:46:22.000 They didn't even understand weightlifting back then.

00:46:24.000 Let me tell you something, bro.

00:46:25.000 That guy is not jacked. 0.79

00:46:26.000 He's jacked.

00:46:27.000 Pure muscle.

00:46:29.000 Let me see a little of this.

00:46:30.000 Greco-Roman introduced in Athens in 1896. What is going on here?

00:46:34.000 They're grabbing each other by the underwear?

00:46:35.000 That's a different kind of wrestling.

00:46:37.000 That's ladies. 1.00

00:46:38.000 Hilarious. 1.00

00:46:41.000 That is a rough fucking sport on your body. 0.99

00:46:45.000 I found this, though. 0.99

00:46:46.000 They're adding video games to the Asian games in 2022, and then it's going to be a demonstration sport in Paris 2024. It's coming.

00:46:56.000 And wrestling out! 1.00

00:46:57.000 Those guys don't need it.

00:46:59.000 This is my message to anybody who's a pro video gamer.

00:47:02.000 You don't need those people.

00:47:03.000 What do they offer? 1.00

00:47:04.000 They offer shit. 1.00

00:47:05.000 They want you to work for free. 1.00

00:47:07.000 They're gonna make all the money.

00:47:08.000 You're already huge.

00:47:09.000 And by the way, the people who run that, they missed the boat.

00:47:13.000 They didn't see it coming.

00:47:14.000 They don't deserve it.

00:47:15.000 What about the athlete part of it?

00:47:17.000 What about it?

00:47:18.000 Do you consider it a sport?

00:47:20.000 Well, no.

00:47:21.000 It's a game.

00:47:23.000 But it's a very highly skilled game.

00:47:25.000 I mean, it's definitely something valuable.

00:47:27.000 Like, it used to be thought of as a frivolous waste of time.

00:47:30.000 But now you can make legitimate money with it.

00:47:30.000 Right.

00:47:33.000 But you don't...

00:47:34.000 I don't think you classify it as a sport.

00:47:36.000 I mean, they call it eSports.

00:47:38.000 Right.

00:47:38.000 Are they an athlete?

00:47:39.000 No.

00:47:40.000 Is the top gamer an athlete?

00:47:42.000 The only caveat is that it's hand-eye coordination, right?

00:47:46.000 There is hand-eye coordination, and what do you consider a sport?

00:47:51.000 Do you consider something you move your entire body, or is just moving your fingers enough?

00:47:56.000 Because, like, is pool a sport?

00:47:59.000 Billiards, is that a sport?

00:48:00.000 I don't think it is.

00:48:01.000 I think it's a game.

00:48:02.000 But it's a game that requires hand-eye coordination and control and touch.

00:48:07.000 Tennis is a sport.

00:48:10.000 Tennis requires endurance.

00:48:11.000 Full physical being.

00:48:13.000 Full mental being.

00:48:15.000 Yeah, you're running around.

00:48:16.000 You're jumping back and forth.

00:48:18.000 You're swatting that ball.

00:48:19.000 They're shooting it at you, trying to get out of the way.

00:48:21.000 I mean, the amount of endurance you have and stamina and explosiveness all contributes to your game.

00:48:26.000 Would you make an exception for someone that's really good at Q-Bert?

00:48:29.000 Yes.

00:48:31.000 That was my favorite game.

00:48:32.000 Subway surfer's in.

00:48:34.000 Subway surfer's a sport. 1.00

00:48:35.000 My daughter plays that shit. 1.00

00:48:37.000 She's a little wizard. 1.00

00:48:37.000 Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh, whoosh. 1.00

00:48:41.000 It's not a sport.

00:48:42.000 They only want it in the Olympics because they realize there's massive amounts of people that are watching it and playing them now and they can make a lot of money off of it.

00:48:49.000 No, arenas.

00:48:49.000 I mean, they're filling arenas.

00:48:51.000 More than the Olympics!

00:48:53.000 The live part of it is a billion dollar business. 0.87

00:48:55.000 Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of sports that are in the Olympics that no one gives a fuck about if they're not in the Olympics. 0.66

00:49:01.000 Right. 0.54

00:49:02.000 Right?

00:49:02.000 Like curling.

00:49:04.000 The ski shoot one.

00:49:04.000 Curling.

00:49:07.000 Skiing and shooting one.

00:49:08.000 What do they call that?

00:49:08.000 Decathlon or pentathlon.

00:49:10.000 Yeah.

00:49:11.000 There's the one that Bruce Jenner won.

00:49:12.000 Which one was that?

00:49:14.000 That's the decathlon. 1.00

00:49:15.000 Did he have to shoot shit or no? 1.00

00:49:17.000 Throw a spear or something? 1.00

00:49:17.000 No. 1.00

00:49:18.000 No, he did the javelin.

00:49:20.000 Javelin's part of it.

00:49:23.000 Not technically a spear, but...

00:49:24.000 Okay, it's archery.

00:49:25.000 Archery's in the Olympics.

00:49:26.000 Yeah.

00:49:27.000 Is that a sport?

00:49:29.000 That's more of a sport.

00:49:31.000 Right?

00:49:32.000 You're using your full body.

00:49:33.000 Well, not really.

00:49:35.000 I mean, you are for, like, stability.

00:49:37.000 You're stabilizing with your legs, and you have a certain stance.

00:49:41.000 And if your bow is heavy to pull back, then it requires strength.

00:49:44.000 But that's blurring the lines.

00:49:48.000 I think archery is essentially a martial art with a tool, you know, and then you're demonstrating.

00:49:54.000 But you could do it on paper, so it's target archery.

00:49:56.000 But do they have target shooting in the Olympics?

00:50:00.000 Well, as part of skiing, right?

00:50:02.000 Yes, in the winter.

00:50:03.000 I think they do it on both.

00:50:04.000 They do it in summer, too?

00:50:05.000 Yeah, I actually know a girl that was on a Olympic. 1.00

00:50:07.000 Just Target.

00:50:08.000 Yep.

00:50:08.000 Just shooting.

00:50:09.000 Yep, yep.

00:50:09.000 Right, that girl you were telling me about.

00:50:10.000 Yeah.

00:50:11.000 Right, that's interesting.

00:50:13.000 I mean, that's close to a video game.

00:50:15.000 Not really.

00:50:16.000 No.

00:50:16.000 No?

00:50:17.000 Video games are, well, I guess, maybe.

00:50:19.000 But, like, we were showing that Sarah Palin thing, which she was trying to shoot offhand. 0.84

00:50:23.000 Totally hot.

00:50:24.000 She was just holding the gun up. 0.60

00:50:28.000 That's more of a sport.

00:50:30.000 If you're trying to shoot offhand.

00:50:32.000 Or pistol shooting.

00:50:33.000 I would say pistol shooting would definitely be a sport.

00:50:36.000 Like when they do those courses.

00:50:38.000 You ever seen those courses that they do?

00:50:39.000 Yeah, like for training and stuff.

00:50:40.000 They go, ready, go.

00:50:41.000 Light goes off and then you run through a door and then you turn a corner and dang, dang, dang.

00:50:45.000 And then you duck down.

00:50:46.000 Bad guys come out.

00:50:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:48.000 And some are bad guys and some are good guys.

00:50:51.000 There's a bunch of different ones they do, and some of them are just targets, and some of them are targets that are dressed up like people.

00:50:57.000 That could be a sport.

00:50:58.000 Well, that's very physically demanding.

00:51:00.000 You ever see the Keanu Reeves footage when he's training for John Wick 2?

00:51:03.000 No.

00:51:04.000 Please, God, make John Wick 3. Please.

00:51:06.000 Have you seen the stuff of them running through Times Square on a horse, shooting people in the head?

00:51:11.000 In John Wick 3?

00:51:12.000 Yeah.

00:51:13.000 You haven't seen that?

00:51:13.000 They're already doing it?

00:51:14.000 No.

00:51:15.000 Well, just show the footage, first of all, the training footage for John Wick 2. John Wick 2, man.

00:51:20.000 That motherfucker, Keanu Reeves, he gets into it. 0.99

00:51:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:51:22.000 He was training with my friend Hige Machado in Jiu-Jitsu. 1.00

00:51:26.000 So they- Mr. Roboto?

00:51:28.000 No.

00:51:29.000 Here he is.

00:51:30.000 Look at him.

00:51:31.000 Give me some volume.

00:51:32.000 John Wick 2. So, like, when you watch him shoot in the movie, he looks very comfortable shooting.

00:51:41.000 And even his martial arts, like the stuff that he's doing in the movie, it's legitimate.

00:51:46.000 Like, it's doable.

00:51:47.000 It's real.

00:51:48.000 He's really training.

00:51:50.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:50.000 I mean, he's not doing anything where you go get the...

00:51:53.000 Like, there's no Roadhouse moves.

00:51:55.000 Like, I was watching Roadhouse last night.

00:51:56.000 I love Roadhouse.

00:51:59.000 I got home from the comedy store last night, and I was gonna go to sleep, but Roadhouse was on. 0.99

00:52:03.000 I'm like, fuck, I'm staying up. 0.99

00:52:04.000 I stayed up. 0.99

00:52:05.000 It's the best, going in the bar.

00:52:07.000 I watched it an hour and a half in, until he killed the guy by grabbing his neck, and that's when I had to go to sleep.

00:52:12.000 You missed the big end scene in the house?

00:52:15.000 Nah, that's good enough.

00:52:15.000 I saw enough.

00:52:18.000 So he's on a horse in John Wick 3?

00:52:21.000 Wow.

00:52:21.000 He's the real deal.

00:52:22.000 He's like Tom Cruise.

00:52:23.000 Just get him back on the Chevelle.

00:52:24.000 Why are you giving him a horse? 0.96

00:52:25.000 He's Tom Cruise.

00:52:27.000 The 1970s Chevelle is the way to go. 1.00

00:52:28.000 Not a fucking horse. 0.99

00:52:31.000 So he trains like legit shooting? 1.00

00:52:34.000 Trains legit shooting, legit martial arts.

00:52:37.000 Samuel Jackson is in it?

00:52:39.000 Oh my god.

00:52:40.000 What's Samuel Jackson not in?

00:52:41.000 Is there a list of...

00:52:42.000 It's like 10 films.

00:52:43.000 He didn't start being an actor until he was late in his career, right?

00:52:46.000 Or late in his age?

00:52:47.000 Oh yeah?

00:52:48.000 I just read something recently.

00:52:49.000 How old was he?

00:52:50.000 I want to say 40, but I feel like I might be mixing up with someone.

00:52:53.000 That might be true.

00:52:54.000 That might be Rodney Dangerfield. 0.99

00:52:57.000 Yeah, the original John Wick is a fucking great movie. 0.96

00:53:00.000 And John Wick 2 is a great movie. 0.97

00:53:02.000 They're both great.

00:53:03.000 I watched two of them back-to-back on a plane recently.

00:53:06.000 Is that the one where everything's on fire in that one scene where he's coming out of an apartment?

00:53:11.000 John Wick 2 is one where he's fighting that Ruby Rose chick.

00:53:14.000 He has a fight with Ruby Rose.

00:53:15.000 Which is a little hilarious.

00:53:17.000 I get it.

00:53:19.000 Girl power. 0.99

00:53:20.000 Save it.

00:53:21.000 Save it.

00:53:23.000 She takes such a good punch. 1.00

00:53:26.000 Yeah.

00:53:27.000 Keanu's pulling punches.

00:53:29.000 Yeah.

00:53:30.000 He's legit.

00:53:31.000 Tom Cruise, he trains and does all his real stuff.

00:53:34.000 Yeah, Tom Cruise does a lot of crazy stunts.

00:53:36.000 Right? 0.97

00:53:36.000 Yeah, he fucked up his ankle jumping off of a building to another building. 0.97

00:53:40.000 Yeah, climbing on the outside of planes, hanging on. 1.00

00:53:42.000 He does all that stupid shit. 1.00

00:53:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:43.000 Car chases, he does that, he does it himself. 1.00

00:53:46.000 Yeah, in Dubai, hanging off the end of that building. 0.97

00:53:49.000 Yeah, he's a maniac. 0.99

00:53:51.000 He is a maniac. 1.00

00:53:52.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:53:53.000 Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

00:53:54.000 Fighting off them Scientology demons.

00:53:56.000 Or using the angels.

00:53:59.000 Using the angels.

00:54:00.000 Do they have angels or just thetans?

00:54:01.000 Thetans are the bad things. 1.00

00:54:03.000 Those are the things that stick to you, right?

00:54:05.000 I thought those were like your soul.

00:54:07.000 Like, that's who you are.

00:54:08.000 You are a thetan, like in the shell of a... 1.00

00:54:10.000 Oh. 0.98

00:54:11.000 I thought the thetans were like the bad ones that came in you to fend off. 1.00

00:54:14.000 Everything I know about Scientology I learned from South Park.

00:54:17.000 Right?

00:54:18.000 So...

00:54:20.000 Yeah, me too.

00:54:21.000 And from that Lawrence Wright movie.

00:54:24.000 I learned a couple useful things from learning about it.

00:54:28.000 Going Clear.

00:54:29.000 Did you see Going Clear, the documentary?

00:54:31.000 Yeah.

00:54:31.000 Did you read the book?

00:54:32.000 No.

00:54:33.000 The book's crazy, too.

00:54:34.000 I read some of Dianetics, though.

00:54:36.000 I did, too.

00:54:37.000 Yeah.

00:54:37.000 I read it when I first moved to L.A. I bought it.

00:54:39.000 I ordered it on late night TV. Yeah.

00:54:42.000 I wanted my nephews to join up just to see what would happen.

00:54:46.000 Yeah.

00:54:47.000 What, do you hate your sister?

00:54:48.000 Or your brother or whoever's kid it is?

00:54:49.000 I was like, one of us has got to be a pioneer here.

00:54:52.000 Let's go see what this does.

00:54:54.000 One of us has got to join the cult.

00:54:55.000 Yeah, it's too late for me.

00:54:56.000 Get in there.

00:54:57.000 See what happens.

00:54:58.000 Have you seen Wild Wild Country?

00:54:59.000 Yeah.

00:55:02.000 I've been reading his book, Osho's book, The Art of Living and Dying.

00:55:06.000 It's very interesting.

00:55:06.000 Oh, yeah?

00:55:08.000 What's unique about him is that the things that he's saying are legitimately profound and very interesting and legitimately deeply philosophical.

00:55:21.000 You're reading it and you go, okay, this guy was a real thinking person.

00:55:25.000 And he was deeply considering these things from all sorts of different angles. 0.94

00:55:31.000 Yet he allowed that crazy Sheila lady to run his cult and poison people and plot assassinations. 1.00

00:55:40.000 But even before that, he was collecting Rolls Royces and he loved the... 0.86

00:55:46.000 Loved luxury.

00:55:47.000 The problem...

00:55:48.000 Look, a lot of people have good ideas.

00:55:50.000 They try and motivate people.

00:55:51.000 It starts out with these nice intentions or whatever.

00:55:53.000 Mm-hmm.

00:55:54.000 Once they taste money, that's it.

00:55:56.000 It's over.

00:55:57.000 It just takes you over, and you can't shake it.

00:55:57.000 Greed.

00:56:00.000 It's like, why would I be in a Ford Taurus when I had a Rolls Royce?

00:56:05.000 Well, how about just get one Rolls Royce, bro?

00:56:08.000 I know, but these people- Why do you have 22?

00:56:10.000 Power.

00:56:11.000 Power and greed and celebrity, and then you can't shake it.

00:56:15.000 All these televangelists, when all those televangelists went down, They start off preaching around the South, dirty, like in little churches.

00:56:22.000 Then they start making millions of dollars and it goes all off the rails.

00:56:26.000 Greed.

00:56:27.000 It's a demon, I'm telling you.

00:56:30.000 I guess they're similar.

00:56:31.000 I mean, because that guy, from what you're saying, he has some good points.

00:56:35.000 He has some good stuff.

00:56:35.000 There's some stuff in Dianetics that makes very good sense.

00:56:39.000 Right, but hold on.

00:56:40.000 Don't you think that all that good stuff is negated by a love of objects?

00:56:45.000 I think that it ends up corrupting them and they start making other choices that don't align with what they're preaching.

00:56:51.000 Right.

00:56:53.000 Yeah, I think they're human beings.

00:56:55.000 We're all human beings.

00:56:56.000 And you start getting that power and then all of this money comes in and it corrupts.

00:57:02.000 There was also sex. 0.94

00:57:03.000 There was also a lot of sex. 0.99

00:57:04.000 A lot of sex. 0.99

00:57:05.000 Yeah, that cult was a lot about just free sex, everybody banging everybody. 0.98

00:57:10.000 It's funny how it all comes down to those things. 0.95

00:57:13.000 It always becomes sex, money, power, and celebrity.

00:57:19.000 They all fall from those things.

00:57:22.000 They're these desires.

00:57:24.000 There's great benefits to all those things, right?

00:57:26.000 Sex feels great.

00:57:27.000 If you have a lot of money, you can buy awesome things and you enjoy them and you feel like you've accomplished something. 0.99

00:57:32.000 If you have a lot of celebrity, then everybody kisses your ass, and he would walk in the room with his hands clasped together, and everybody would go crazy. 0.98

00:57:40.000 But it's a different kind of celebrity, right? 0.99

00:57:42.000 His celebrity was not just like, oh, there's Tom Papa!

00:57:45.000 Dude, I love your bread show!

00:57:47.000 It wasn't that.

00:57:49.000 It was, you have the answers!

00:57:51.000 Oh, Swami! 1.00

00:57:52.000 Oh, Osho!

00:57:56.000 But that's the ultimate power, is celebrity mixed with God, mixed with the answer to that.

00:58:02.000 Guru.

00:58:02.000 Yeah, forget it.

00:58:04.000 Guru power.

00:58:04.000 Now you're off the charts.

00:58:06.000 Well, you get a little bit of that in yoga classes.

00:58:08.000 There was a yoga class that I used to go to where the guy who was the instructor was banging some of the students.

00:58:13.000 And he was slimy.

00:58:15.000 He was like, you could tell.

00:58:17.000 He would sing in class, like sing in Hindu songs, and I'd be like, bro, you are killing my buzz.

00:58:24.000 Yeah, I'm out of there. 0.99

00:58:25.000 But you're so white. 0.98

00:58:27.000 Like, everything about it, he was just like, he was a slippery guy.

00:58:32.000 Like, and his thing was being this really spiritual yoga guy.

00:58:32.000 Yeah.

00:58:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:39.000 40-year-old women whose husbands were tired of fucking them. 1.00

00:58:41.000 They would really, you know, kind of get into him. 1.00

00:58:43.000 Next thing you know, he'd be giving them privates.

00:58:46.000 Air quotes.

00:58:48.000 Yeah.

00:58:48.000 Privates.

00:58:51.000 And he would probably, you know, talk to them about sensuality.

00:58:55.000 Of course, and their aura. 0.99

00:58:57.000 And then probably lay some shit down about... 0.81

00:58:59.000 You know, one of the main problems in relationships is the passion sometimes ebbs when there's a loss of respect and appreciation for each other as individuals, as unique souls. 0.99

00:59:11.000 Yes!

00:59:12.000 I'm experiencing that in my relationship.

00:59:14.000 I'm so sorry to hear that.

00:59:16.000 So sorry to hear that.

00:59:17.000 The boundaries of intimacy should not be related.

00:59:19.000 Is it me?

00:59:20.000 But I feel like I'm seeing the real you that no one else sees.

00:59:22.000 Yeah, sure.

00:59:23.000 The boundaries of intimacy should not be confined by a piece of paper.

00:59:27.000 You know, I mean, it's obviously that the vows of your marriage have already been broken by your husband who's not nice to you anymore.

00:59:34.000 Let me write down my apartment in Encino. 1.00

00:59:37.000 I'll hook you up with some of this sweet yoga dick. 1.00

00:59:40.000 I walk around barefoot everywhere. 1.00

00:59:43.000 The hot yoga guy did that. 0.99

00:59:45.000 I'm so in touch with nature.

00:59:46.000 The hot yoga guy.

00:59:46.000 He got busted first sleeping with all these women.

00:59:49.000 It was the hot yoga.

00:59:49.000 Who was the hot yoga guy?

00:59:50.000 Oh, Bikram? 0.96

00:59:51.000 The Bikram guy, right? 0.99

00:59:52.000 Wasn't he the guy?

00:59:53.000 Yeah, more than that. 1.00

00:59:53.000 He fucked everybody. 1.00

00:59:54.000 He did. 1.00

00:59:55.000 More than that, he was accused of sexual assault.

00:59:58.000 Yeah.

00:59:58.000 He was attacking them.

00:59:59.000 Yeah, my guy wasn't sexually assaulting anybody. 1.00

01:00:02.000 He was just slipping the dick in. 1.00

01:00:04.000 They were allowing it. 1.00

01:00:05.000 They wanted the dick. 1.00

01:00:06.000 Like, there's a difference. 1.00

01:00:08.000 It's power.

01:00:10.000 It's a power move. 0.99

01:00:11.000 Some people say that that's abuse, that the yoga guru who manipulates the woman and then fucks her, that he is...

01:00:20.000 In a way, definitely being guilty of sexual misconduct, and perhaps even like something more egregious, because there's a relationship that they have between the guru and the student, and he's violating that trust and that power dynamic. 0.85

01:00:37.000 Yes, that's Catholic Church, right?

01:00:40.000 No!

01:00:41.000 No, it's not!

01:00:42.000 The power dynamic!

01:00:43.000 What do you mean that? 1.00

01:00:44.000 A 40-year-old married woman and a fucking yoga teacher is not the same as a little kid and a priest. 1.00

01:00:49.000 But it's using power to get the same thing. 1.00

01:00:51.000 Oh, no, it's not.

01:00:53.000 One of them is rape and abuse. 1.00

01:00:54.000 The other one is a lady who wants dick. 1.00

01:00:56.000 Well, you didn't say she wanted dick. 1.00

01:00:57.000 Of course she wants. 1.00

01:00:58.000 She's four years old.

01:00:59.000 Her husband doesn't touch her.

01:01:00.000 You've just twisted this around. 0.99

01:01:01.000 You need to correct and apologize to all those yoga teachers out there fucking their students. 1.00

01:01:06.000 No, it's a violation. 0.99

01:01:07.000 If you're a guru and anything that's a teacher and below, you're using that.

01:01:12.000 You're manipulating that person.

01:01:14.000 Okay, but wasn't that a big part of undergraduate students and professors back in the day?

01:01:21.000 They can't do that anymore.

01:01:22.000 Yeah.

01:01:23.000 That was a big thing.

01:01:23.000 No, in my high school, the basketball teacher ended up marrying his best girl basketball player.

01:01:30.000 Hey! 0.99

01:01:31.000 And, you know, happy ending.

01:01:32.000 Yeah, it worked out.

01:01:33.000 Oh.

01:01:34.000 Well, how old was she and him?

01:01:35.000 He was probably 30-something, and she was 17. Whoa.

01:01:40.000 When did they get married?

01:01:40.000 Playing basketball.

01:01:41.000 I don't know, after...

01:01:43.000 They hook up after school?

01:01:45.000 Or during school?

01:01:46.000 No, apparently it was during, and then they ended up...

01:01:50.000 Was it legal then?

01:01:51.000 No!

01:01:52.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:01:53.000 In many states, it probably was legal at 17. In Jersey?

01:01:57.000 Yes.

01:01:58.000 I guarantee you it was.

01:01:59.000 What year?

01:02:00.000 1985, 86?

01:02:01.000 I guarantee you it was.

01:02:03.000 17 was legal?

01:02:04.000 Yeah, I bet it was legal.

01:02:05.000 Really?

01:02:05.000 I bet 16 was legal.

01:02:07.000 Right.

01:02:07.000 Yeah.

01:02:08.000 I mean, look, it's not to say that there can't be a happy ending...

01:02:11.000 When somebody is the teacher or the guru?

01:02:14.000 No, I'm on your side.

01:02:14.000 I mean, it's definitely a violation.

01:02:16.000 But it is a manipulation, yeah.

01:02:17.000 What's the age of consent in 1980?

01:02:19.000 New Jersey, age 16 years old.

01:02:21.000 16?

01:02:22.000 Yep.

01:02:23.000 Wow.

01:02:24.000 I could have hit on Miss Crew. 1.00

01:02:25.000 Okay, but hold on a second.

01:02:26.000 Consent for sexual conduct at 16. This applies to both heterosexual and homosexual conduct. 0.60

01:02:31.000 As a general matter, this means that a person who is 16 years old can generally consent to have sex with any adult.

01:02:38.000 And this is in 2018. That's today.

01:02:41.000 That's today.

01:02:42.000 So here's the thing.

01:02:43.000 How crazy!

01:02:44.000 Like, you know this Asia Argento thing?

01:02:44.000 So here's the thing.

01:02:47.000 You know this thing that's going on right now? 0.96

01:02:49.000 So this 17-year-old kid, when he had sex with her, it was in California, so he's saying it's sexual assault because she had sex with him and then she got... 0.99

01:03:02.000 Tony Bourdain to pay this kid off 300 plus thousand dollars to shut his mouth and then it came out that she was a hypocrite because she seduced this kid and fucked him and she had played his mom in a movie ten years prior when he was only seven which is really kind of crazy. 0.99

01:03:20.000 There's pictures of her and the kid when the kid was like a little kid. 0.99

01:03:25.000 Oh jeez. 0.97

01:03:25.000 She stayed close to him and called him like her son and he would call her mom and stuff like that and then they got together and She lied about it and said she didn't fuck him, and then pictures came out of her in bed with him, and then her friends released text messages. 0.97

01:03:41.000 She's a fucking monster, in a way. 1.00

01:03:43.000 Was he of legal age when they had sex? 1.00

01:03:46.000 No, this is my point.

01:03:47.000 He was 17 at the time, so it would have been totally legal if this happened in New Jersey, but it happened in California.

01:03:52.000 But this is all going on while she was making a big deal of Harvey Weinstein having sex with her when she was 22. Like, Jesus fucking Christ. 1.00

01:03:59.000 That was crazy. 1.00

01:04:00.000 You know, the whole thing's crazy.

01:04:02.000 But my point is, first of all, let's be honest about that situation.

01:04:08.000 I mean, 17's...

01:04:11.000 He's going to be okay.

01:04:13.000 I'm just saying.

01:04:14.000 Even if it's illegal, it's just not the same for boys.

01:04:18.000 It is not the same.

01:04:20.000 Should she have done it?

01:04:21.000 Probably not.

01:04:22.000 Yeah.

01:04:22.000 Definitely probably not.

01:04:24.000 Should she be locked up in a cage for 10 years from doing that?

01:04:27.000 No. 0.99

01:04:27.000 She's a freak. 0.99

01:04:29.000 That lady's a freak. 1.00

01:04:30.000 Yeah.

01:04:31.000 So he was 17. She's more guilty of being a hypocrite than anything. 1.00

01:04:37.000 Did she stay in touch with him all those years when she was playing the mom? 0.99

01:04:40.000 Yes.

01:04:40.000 The real creepy picture is her in the movie with him when he was like a little kid.

01:04:45.000 But it's not as creepy as Woody Allen when he had his daughter sitting on his lap and then 10 years later that same daughter is holding his hand as his girlfriend in the front row of a basketball game.

01:04:56.000 Yeah, that's kind of weird.

01:04:58.000 That's a little weird.

01:04:59.000 That's way creepier.

01:05:02.000 Yeah, it's so weird.

01:05:03.000 I don't know if there's even a reason to make that comparison.

01:05:07.000 But my point is, that kid would have no case at all if this was in New Jersey.

01:05:13.000 Right.

01:05:13.000 It was in New Jersey.

01:05:14.000 Which I don't think he should have a case.

01:05:16.000 Is he prosecuting?

01:05:18.000 He apparently threatened to go public with it and he wanted money.

01:05:22.000 And they gave him money.

01:05:23.000 Anthony Bourdain did.

01:05:25.000 And gave him a lot.

01:05:25.000 Yeah.

01:05:26.000 $380,000.

01:05:28.000 And even after he got paid, he comes out?

01:05:28.000 Oh my god.

01:05:30.000 That is the most expensive dick that lady will ever get. 1.00

01:05:35.000 Then he comes out? 1.00

01:05:36.000 It came out anyway.

01:05:37.000 I don't know why it came out.

01:05:38.000 I don't know who released it.

01:05:40.000 Harvey Weinstein.

01:05:41.000 Somebody released it.

01:05:42.000 I don't know what happened.

01:05:43.000 But what they're basically showing is that this whole thing of her being attacked by Harvey Weinstein, it's complicated.

01:05:54.000 Maybe he did exactly what she said he did.

01:05:57.000 It's possible.

01:05:58.000 But she clearly is deceptive.

01:06:01.000 She definitely lied about this kid.

01:06:04.000 See, the problem is the age of consent being 17. If it was 18, or if he was 18 rather, or if it was like in New Jersey where it's 16, there's no case.

01:06:13.000 And she just fucked a young kid. 1.00

01:06:15.000 And I'm just going to be honest. 1.00

01:06:19.000 The only thing that's creepy is that they had this sort of mom-son thing going on where they talked about each other as mom and son.

01:06:25.000 Yeah, that's weird. 0.96

01:06:26.000 If she was just a hot 35-year-old who had sex with a handsome 17-year-old boy... 1.00

01:06:31.000 Right. 0.99

01:06:32.000 17, that's a man.

01:06:34.000 It's not the same thing.

01:06:35.000 It's not the same thing.

01:06:36.000 If it was a 35-year-old man and a 17-year-old girl...

01:06:39.000 She directed the movie, too.

01:06:41.000 Does that change anything?

01:06:42.000 Yes.

01:06:42.000 I don't know.

01:06:43.000 She directed the movie? 0.94

01:06:44.000 She directed the movie.

01:06:44.000 The new one?

01:06:45.000 No, the movie 10 years ago when he was a 17-year-old.

01:06:49.000 Or a 7-year-old, rather.

01:06:50.000 Yeah, I don't know, man.

01:06:52.000 You know, she was 37 when he was 7?

01:06:55.000 She was 37. 37 when he was 17. She didn't make a move when he was 7, though.

01:07:01.000 No, she waited until he was 17. She's a good person.

01:07:05.000 Yeah.

01:07:07.000 She got close to the wire.

01:07:09.000 She's like, I can't hold on anymore.

01:07:11.000 Enough already.

01:07:13.000 Will you move to New Jersey?

01:07:14.000 I won't.

01:07:15.000 Just get over here. 1.00

01:07:15.000 Here's the issue. 1.00

01:07:17.000 I just don't think it's the same thing.

01:07:19.000 Now, I think the only thing she's really guilty of here is hypocrisy and deception.

01:07:24.000 I don't think she's guilty of a sex crime, even though she technically is. 0.78

01:07:28.000 In my mind, I mean, maybe am I a sexist?

01:07:31.000 I don't know.

01:07:32.000 If I am, I'm sexist against men.

01:07:35.000 I think the guy's gonna be okay.

01:07:38.000 I don't buy that he was so damaged.

01:07:41.000 Not at that age. 0.99

01:07:42.000 Because if he was that damaged from her, he would have been damaged from a girl who was his age, too, who fucked him and then didn't call him anymore. 0.99

01:07:48.000 Right, that's the thing. 0.99

01:07:48.000 That's just emotions. 0.99

01:07:49.000 That's not a crime.

01:07:50.000 You know, you hear this argument, it's like, well, a boy can be affected.

01:07:54.000 For sure.

01:07:55.000 Everyone can be affected.

01:07:56.000 But that's not a crime.

01:07:57.000 In some of these instances where the teacher sleeps with the kid and it's a boy and he's 14 and people are like, oh, come on, he would love it.

01:08:06.000 Now, 14, you still don't know who you are.

01:08:09.000 You're still mixed up.

01:08:10.000 And again, we're back to the teacher-student dynamic.

01:08:13.000 It's a different situation.

01:08:14.000 She's manipulating you. 0.99

01:08:15.000 Right.

01:08:16.000 So the question is, Is this dynamic equal to the teacher-student because she was the director and she played his mother and she clearly had some sort of a maternal love like sort of relationship with him early on and then it became sexual later.

01:08:32.000 But then she says he jumped her.

01:08:34.000 She says the horny kid jumped me. 0.57

01:08:36.000 That's what she said in her text to her friend when she's being honest.

01:08:39.000 Oh really?

01:08:39.000 Yeah, so maybe he did.

01:08:41.000 Maybe he was in love and pining for her the whole time.

01:08:43.000 Maybe that's one of the reasons why he came out and wanted money in the first place, because she's trying to get back at her, because she didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. 1.00

01:08:51.000 And maybe they had a couple of drinks together, and she just didn't know what to do when he started making moves on her, and so she fucked him, because she's crazy. 1.00

01:09:01.000 That's possible, too. 1.00

01:09:02.000 I mean, is it a crime?

01:09:04.000 I mean, you're talking about a crime where if it was 200 days later, it's not a crime.

01:09:10.000 Like, really?

01:09:11.000 Is he going to learn a lot in 200 days?

01:09:13.000 The law's the law, Joe.

01:09:15.000 The law's the law.

01:09:16.000 Mr. Dragnet over there.

01:09:18.000 You know, the laws are on the books for a reason, Joe.

01:09:22.000 And the law says 17. It doesn't say 16 and a half.

01:09:25.000 It says 17 for a reason.

01:09:28.000 Johnny Lawyer over here.

01:09:30.000 Well, really, that's what it comes down to.

01:09:31.000 It's like, because it's so gray, and because there's so many things that can happen, you really have to come down to, well, is there a logic?

01:09:39.000 You should have to pull your pants down. 0.99

01:09:40.000 How much pubes you got? 1.00

01:09:42.000 Let me see what you got. 1.00

01:09:43.000 How big is your dick? 1.00

01:09:44.000 You're full grown. 1.00

01:09:45.000 Get the fuck out here, pussy. 1.00

01:09:47.000 That's not fair. 1.00

01:09:48.000 Oh, the pretty lady band.

01:09:49.000 I remember this.

01:09:50.000 I had a friend of mine who grew hair when he was like 12. He was the hairiest little Italian kid.

01:09:57.000 He had a mustache, full beard at 13. I'm sure his pubes were gigantic.

01:10:01.000 Good.

01:10:03.000 Legal.

01:10:04.000 Asia Argento. 1.00

01:10:05.000 Go fuck that guy. 1.00

01:10:07.000 He couldn't help it. 1.00

01:10:08.000 He would get a haircut and it would grow back by the time he got in the car.

01:10:12.000 He was just Italian.

01:10:15.000 Yeah, it's very complicated. 1.00

01:10:17.000 You know, the thing about her too is, you know, she had a consensual sexual relationship with Harvey Weinstein after the alleged incident where he ate her pussy and she didn't want him to. 1.00

01:10:28.000 Well, that's like the Cosby thing. 1.00

01:10:29.000 They keep coming back.

01:10:30.000 There was a couple that came back.

01:10:32.000 Wait a minute.

01:10:33.000 Were they aware that he drugged them the first time?

01:10:36.000 I don't know the details.

01:10:38.000 It sounded like it.

01:10:39.000 It sounded like they knew something was weird, but then they came back anyway.

01:10:42.000 You don't exonerate someone from a rape just because after the rape, you're friendly with them.

01:10:47.000 Right, because, you know, it's a big mental impact.

01:10:50.000 You don't know what's going on with them.

01:10:52.000 Not just that.

01:10:53.000 It's some people, they want to mitigate the effects of being raped by turning into something different.

01:10:59.000 So they maybe would establish a consensual relationship with the person after they raped them.

01:11:04.000 To try and take their power back a little?

01:11:06.000 Well, not just that.

01:11:07.000 To try to relieve themselves of the feeling of being a victim.

01:11:10.000 Like, almost make it consensual.

01:11:12.000 There's like a weird psychological dynamic that you and I will never understand as men.

01:11:17.000 Yeah.

01:11:17.000 We'll never understand it.

01:11:18.000 No.

01:11:19.000 Because it's not the same.

01:11:19.000 It's just not the same.

01:11:20.000 No, it's not.

01:11:21.000 So if she went back, you know, with Harvey...

01:11:24.000 Like if a woman comes over your house, right? 1.00

01:11:27.000 Okay.

01:11:27.000 If you're a single guy...

01:11:28.000 Am I in a cabin?

01:11:29.000 Is it a little cabin?

01:11:30.000 Yeah, a little tiny 325...

01:11:32.000 You're in Big Bear.

01:11:34.000 I'm in Big Bear.

01:11:34.000 You're wearing flannels and you're cutting wood.

01:11:36.000 Okay. 1.00

01:11:37.000 And a girl comes over and she sucks your dick against your will. 1.00

01:11:40.000 You're like, don't stop. 1.00

01:11:41.000 I can't believe you're doing this. 1.00

01:11:43.000 God damn it. 0.99

01:11:44.000 And then once it's over, you're like, well... 1.00

01:11:47.000 I don't want to feel like I got raped. 0.95

01:11:49.000 I'm just going to establish a relationship with this lady. 1.00

01:11:51.000 People would be like, shut the fuck up, Tom Papa. 1.00

01:11:54.000 Get out of here. 1.00

01:11:55.000 What was that Michael Douglas?

01:11:56.000 The difference is because you're a guy.

01:11:58.000 So you're not worried about your physical safety.

01:12:01.000 This is the real issue.

01:12:03.000 Physical safety.

01:12:03.000 I can't get pregnant.

01:12:04.000 Right. 0.97

01:12:04.000 I used to work out at this gay gym. 0.97

01:12:06.000 I used to work out at Gold's Gym on Cole. 0.80

01:12:08.000 And I say gay gym because it was just like a lot of gay guys. 0.99

01:12:12.000 Like really obvious, over-tan, you know, gay guys with like super thin tank tops with giant muscles and fucking combat boots and real aggressive leather like fucking paperboy hats on while they're working out. 1.00

01:12:27.000 Fucking gay. 1.00

01:12:28.000 But my point is, while I was in there working out, these guys would hit on you. 1.00

01:12:32.000 Right.

01:12:33.000 And you'd feel like guys were looking at you and hitting on you, and it made you uncomfortable.

01:12:38.000 Right. 1.00

01:12:38.000 Well, welcome to being a woman, but not even really, because I could fuck those guys up. 1.00

01:12:44.000 Right. 0.99

01:12:44.000 So I wasn't worried. 0.99

01:12:45.000 Go to the parking lot.

01:12:47.000 I'd be like, hey dude, this is going to get violent. 1.00

01:12:50.000 Stop trying to fuck me. 1.00

01:12:52.000 I can actually fuck you up. 1.00

01:12:54.000 Whereas if I'm a girl, I have to worry that I'm fumbling for my keys and this guy's behind me. 0.99

01:12:59.000 In the parking lot.

01:12:59.000 Yeah, and they want to push me into the car and take my pants off.

01:13:02.000 This is a real concern for women that men don't have. 1.00

01:13:05.000 So our ideas of what it would be like to be in a non-consensual relationship with a woman where she sucks your dick against your will is just not comparable. 1.00

01:13:12.000 That's a great point. 1.00

01:13:13.000 I mean, that's when that Michael Douglas movie came out, and it was the same thing.

01:13:17.000 It was the reverse.

01:13:18.000 I forget which movie it was.

01:13:21.000 She goes down on him, and he's like, no, stop it.

01:13:24.000 It's a work relationship.

01:13:25.000 And he's like, stop, don't.

01:13:26.000 Fatal Attraction?

01:13:27.000 No, it wasn't Fatal Attraction.

01:13:29.000 It wasn't Behind the Candelabra.

01:13:31.000 It was...

01:13:33.000 It was another movie, and it became like a thing.

01:13:35.000 It became like a joke because...

01:13:38.000 Disclosure.

01:13:39.000 Disclosure.

01:13:40.000 And who was the star?

01:13:42.000 Demi Moore.

01:13:43.000 That's hilarious.

01:13:44.000 Yeah, so she goes down on him, and they were trying to make the case that it could happen to a man, too. 0.99

01:13:49.000 Shut up. 0.95

01:13:50.000 And the culture was like, no. 1.00

01:13:51.000 Yes, thank God.

01:13:53.000 There it is. 0.99

01:13:54.000 Yeah, she's a predator. 1.00

01:13:55.000 Yeah, she's a predator. 1.00

01:13:56.000 And he's like, I can't believe this. 1.00

01:13:57.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:13:58.000 And he's like, get off of me. 1.00

01:13:59.000 Who wrote that?

01:14:00.000 A fantastic sex thriller, masterfully done.

01:14:03.000 That's fake news.

01:14:04.000 Who wrote that?

01:14:05.000 Well, good for them putting it out there and giving it a try. 0.99

01:14:08.000 I like how they always have that, like, fucking WCN TV, some shit you've never heard of. 0.99

01:14:14.000 WWORTV. Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

01:14:16.000 What is that? 1.00

01:14:17.000 Like, they're just dying for any quote whatsoever, so they just take some wonky quote from some Boise news station.

01:14:26.000 Some guy's drunk when he writes that, he's barely paying attention.

01:14:28.000 But now it's just someone with a blog.

01:14:30.000 It's like Don's Movie Hut.

01:14:32.000 Right.

01:14:33.000 He loved it!

01:14:35.000 I've got a hut in the middle of the forest, and I watch films!

01:14:39.000 When I was watching Roadhouse last night, he put a cassette in his Mercedes, in his car, he's playing music, shoved a cassette in there, and I was like, yes! 1.00

01:14:47.000 A fucking cassette! 0.99

01:14:49.000 My daughter got a cassette from one of her friends, a cassette player, so now she's looking for cassettes. 1.00

01:14:54.000 Can you still get them?

01:14:54.000 Like on eBay or something?

01:14:56.000 Yeah, yeah, like she has a bunch, but they're pretty obscure.

01:15:00.000 There's a real concern that everything that we have is digital, you know, and that we're moving to Kindles and e-books and all these different things and then downloadable music and less physical music.

01:15:10.000 Yeah.

01:15:11.000 That anything that happens that wipes that stuff out, anything that wipes out the ability to play it or preserve the recording, we lose everything.

01:15:19.000 It'll be gone forever.

01:15:20.000 All information.

01:15:21.000 All of our information is becoming digital.

01:15:24.000 It's becoming more and more vulnerable while we're becoming more and more aware and more and more educated.

01:15:29.000 That we're at risk.

01:15:31.000 We're more aware that we're being attacked.

01:15:34.000 People are trying to steal this stuff and we're putting more of our faith in it.

01:15:38.000 Yeah, but what I'm saying is as we become more educated, not even with that, just the more information we accumulated, the more vulnerable that information is.

01:15:46.000 It's not like books that are like lock solid and they're always going to be there as long as you keep them in a fireproof container.

01:15:52.000 No, our knowledge itself is way more vulnerable than it's ever been before, yet way more advanced than it's ever been before.

01:16:01.000 That's really interesting. 0.91

01:16:02.000 Fucking weird. 0.83

01:16:03.000 But isn't it all backed up on the cloud? 0.99

01:16:06.000 What does that mean?

01:16:07.000 Listen, man, I had Dr. Robert Shock on the podcast, who's a geologist from Boston University, and he freaked me the fuck out, talking about coronal mass ejections from the sun and what they believe happened somewhere around 12,000 years ago.

01:16:22.000 There was some sort of a gigantic solar event that caused lightning storms. 0.94

01:16:27.000 You know like when it's a storm and rain is coming down from the sky, like fucking buckets of rain everywhere? 0.97

01:16:32.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:16:32.000 He said it was like that with lightning. 0.94

01:16:34.000 And that lightning was literally turning the ground into glass in certain places.

01:16:38.000 For how long?

01:16:39.000 Who knows?

01:16:40.000 Mass extinction of animals.

01:16:42.000 Really?

01:16:42.000 Mass extinction of people.

01:16:44.000 Like just lightning raining down on the whole planet?

01:16:47.000 Yeah.

01:16:47.000 Oh my god.

01:16:48.000 I don't know if he's right.

01:16:49.000 Obviously it's a controversial theory that he was proposing.

01:16:53.000 But it's based on what they believe possibly happened with coronal mass ejections from the sun.

01:17:00.000 Which can and does happen.

01:17:02.000 And has happened in the past.

01:17:03.000 It's terrifying.

01:17:04.000 I always think about that.

01:17:06.000 What's going to stop a giant asteroid all of a sudden heading our way?

01:17:10.000 Solar flares, they're happening all the time.

01:17:12.000 Yeah, it's just not with big intensity.

01:17:14.000 But why not have one build up and blast us?

01:17:17.000 Have you ever seen a comparison of the Earth next to the Sun?

01:17:21.000 Yeah.

01:17:22.000 When they show these solar flares are hundreds of times larger than the Earth itself.

01:17:27.000 It's so crazy.

01:17:29.000 But it's far away, right guys?

01:17:31.000 Yeah.

01:17:31.000 It'll be okay.

01:17:32.000 We're still going to have a barbecue this weekend.

01:17:33.000 A couple million miles.

01:17:35.000 How many miles is the sun away?

01:17:37.000 How many million?

01:17:39.000 How many million?

01:17:40.000 Yeah, the moon is 200. It varies and goes a little closer, a little further away, but somewhere around 260,000.

01:17:49.000 260,000?

01:17:50.000 93 million miles.

01:17:52.000 Whoa.

01:17:52.000 The sun.

01:17:53.000 Yeah.

01:17:54.000 93 million.

01:17:54.000 Pull up a comparison.

01:17:55.000 The sun in comparison to the size of the earth.

01:17:59.000 And you realize, you're like, oh.

01:18:03.000 It's a million times bigger.

01:18:05.000 A million times bigger.

01:18:06.000 A million times bigger than the Earth.

01:18:08.000 Oh, boy.

01:18:09.000 That's how big the sun is.

01:18:09.000 Here's a question.

01:18:10.000 Say a solar flare pops off.

01:18:12.000 If it's that far away... 1.00

01:18:13.000 You're fucked. 1.00

01:18:15.000 Depends on how bad it is. 1.00

01:18:15.000 When we know about it, know it's coming for a while? 1.00

01:18:17.000 Yeah, you have a couple minutes.

01:18:18.000 Oh, that's it.

01:18:19.000 Look at that.

01:18:21.000 Look at the Earth.

01:18:22.000 1.3 million Earths.

01:18:24.000 Jeez.

01:18:24.000 Look at the Earth, though.

01:18:25.000 Look at the little dot.

01:18:27.000 Look at that little spot.

01:18:28.000 Right there.

01:18:29.000 Oh there.

01:18:29.000 Oh my god.

01:18:30.000 Oh no.

01:18:32.000 Now look at those ejections.

01:18:34.000 Look at those flares.

01:18:35.000 Look how big those flares are.

01:18:35.000 Oh no.

01:18:37.000 And then look at the size of the earth.

01:18:38.000 That's common.

01:18:39.000 That's every day.

01:18:40.000 That's happening all the time.

01:18:41.000 Have you ever seen video of it?

01:18:41.000 Yeah.

01:18:43.000 It's fucking amazing, man. 0.98

01:18:44.000 It's crazy. 0.99

01:18:45.000 It's amazing. 0.86

01:18:46.000 Like what's happening on the sun right now should freak everybody the fuck out.

01:18:51.000 And it varies, you know?

01:18:53.000 It's a giant nuclear fireball.

01:18:55.000 Yeah, it's just a constant nuclear explosion. 1.00

01:18:58.000 Oh my god, look at that shit. 1.00

01:19:00.000 It looks so hot! 1.00

01:19:04.000 What a shit design, right? 0.99

01:19:07.000 How are you going to heat everything up? 1.00

01:19:08.000 We'll just put a big fucking fireball in the sky. 0.98

01:19:12.000 I mean, it's basically like a fireplace. 0.99

01:19:15.000 How crazy that it worked, though.

01:19:17.000 How crazy that it worked.

01:19:18.000 Oh, it works so good.

01:19:19.000 It's crazy.

01:19:20.000 It works so good.

01:19:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:19:21.000 Well, it's one of the arguments that really dumb people use for religion. 0.99

01:19:25.000 Like, what are the odds that all this worked out this perfectly? 0.98

01:19:29.000 That we're this close to the sun?

01:19:31.000 I mean, come on, man.

01:19:32.000 Scientists are trying to keep the creator from you.

01:19:36.000 Japan's trying to land an unmanned robot on an asteroid twice the distance from the sun.

01:19:41.000 It's 186 million miles away.

01:19:43.000 And next month they're going to be...

01:19:43.000 Whoa.

01:19:46.000 They're going to try and land on it?

01:19:48.000 Jesus Christ.

01:19:48.000 Yes, September 21st.

01:19:49.000 The Japanese? 0.95

01:19:50.000 What?

01:19:51.000 I didn't even know they were in the space game.

01:19:52.000 It's orbiting it right now, apparently.

01:19:54.000 Well, the Japanese have the Himawari-8 satellite that takes gigantic high-resolution full photos of the Earth from 22,000 miles out every 10 minutes, somewhere around then.

01:20:08.000 Oh, yeah?

01:20:08.000 Yeah, well, pull that up.

01:20:09.000 The Himawari-8, what's the details of the Himawari-8?

01:20:13.000 It's one of the best things to use against these flat-earth dorks.

01:20:17.000 Because for the longest time, one of the things they were saying is that there was no full photos of the Earth from space, that everything was just stitched together. 0.99

01:20:25.000 They don't know jack shit. 1.00

01:20:28.000 They're so fucking stupid. 1.00

01:20:29.000 It's such a scary, stupid theory. 1.00

01:20:31.000 Real time. 1.00

01:20:31.000 But this is real time. 1.00

01:20:33.000 How far away is the distance, the Himawari 8? 0.93

01:20:33.000 Oh, look, it's nighttime. 0.93

01:20:36.000 I think it's 22,000 miles.

01:20:41.000 Himawari 8. That's a satellite?

01:20:43.000 22,241.

01:20:44.000 So the satellite is 22,000 miles above the Earth and it takes real-time photos every 10 minutes in high resolution.

01:20:53.000 They're like massive, massive photographs. 0.99

01:20:55.000 But they use it to predict weather and you can literally see storms coming in and shit. 0.89

01:21:00.000 It's so badass. 0.98

01:21:02.000 That's amazing.

01:21:02.000 Look how you zoom in and zoom out.

01:21:04.000 I had no idea the Japanese were doing all this.

01:21:07.000 Oh, they're on the ball, son.

01:21:08.000 They make the best cars.

01:21:09.000 Their cars don't break. 0.99

01:21:11.000 You're fucking around with these Teslas. 1.00

01:21:12.000 That shit's gonna run out of the batteries in the desert. 1.00

01:21:14.000 I'm gonna be stuck. 1.00

01:21:16.000 You're gonna be with chapped lips like a Mad Max movie.

01:21:19.000 Just shuffling.

01:21:20.000 Trying to get to Nevada.

01:21:22.000 Trying to charge my car with a phone.

01:21:25.000 I have credit cards.

01:21:26.000 You can have my credit cards.

01:21:27.000 Just give me water.

01:21:30.000 You from California? 0.96

01:21:32.000 You some kind of queer? 0.94

01:21:34.000 It worked for a while. 0.93

01:21:34.000 You trying to queer us up? 0.93

01:21:36.000 I'm just listing my footprint, guys.

01:21:39.000 Oh, you're one of them electric car guys.

01:21:40.000 Yeah, how'd that work out with your conflict minerals? 1.00

01:21:43.000 You're an electric car, you piece of shit. 1.00

01:21:46.000 I just try to be nice to the planet, guys. 1.00

01:21:49.000 How could those cars not run on solar power?

01:21:51.000 That's what I don't get.

01:21:53.000 Especially in California.

01:21:54.000 Like, everything's solar.

01:21:55.000 Why don't you have a solar roof panel?

01:21:57.000 On the car itself, you mean.

01:21:59.000 To regenerate the battery.

01:22:00.000 The hood should be solar?

01:22:01.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:22:02.000 Oh my god.

01:22:03.000 Look at all the known asteroids from 1999 to 2018. What?

01:22:08.000 Whoa. 1.00

01:22:09.000 The fuck? 1.00

01:22:09.000 We live in a shooting gallery. 1.00

01:22:11.000 Look at that.

01:22:12.000 NASA's identified more than 18,000 near-Earth objects.

01:22:16.000 They're just floating around all around us.

01:22:17.000 Discovery rate.

01:22:18.000 Back that up again.

01:22:18.000 Hold on.

01:22:19.000 The discovery rate averages, what did it say?

01:22:21.000 40 per week.

01:22:24.000 It's asteroids.

01:22:25.000 Oh my God.

01:22:26.000 It literally is.

01:22:27.000 Hold on.

01:22:28.000 Back up.

01:22:29.000 Chance of a large Earth asteroid hitting Earth is slim.

01:22:32.000 What?

01:22:34.000 But scientists will continue to monitor all known near-Earth objects for any potential collision with Earth.

01:22:38.000 They say with Slim...

01:22:39.000 You know what?

01:22:40.000 I was talking to this one scientist.

01:22:42.000 Look at that.

01:22:42.000 I was talking to this one scientist, and he was like, well, they already have plans in effect.

01:22:48.000 If they find asteroids, it's not something that I'm concerned with.

01:22:52.000 They're already thinking about that, and I think we'll be fine.

01:22:54.000 So then I talked to Neil deGrasse Tyson, and I said, how much time would we need to plan for an asteroid hitting us?

01:23:00.000 He goes, at least 10 years.

01:23:01.000 I'm like, What?

01:23:02.000 10 years?

01:23:03.000 I go, 10 years? 1.00

01:23:04.000 I go, so we're fucked. 0.99

01:23:04.000 And he goes, yeah. 0.99

01:23:05.000 He goes, we'd be fucked. 0.99

01:23:06.000 I'm like, no! 1.00

01:23:08.000 This other guy lied to me!

01:23:10.000 Wait, what do you mean?

01:23:11.000 10 years from when?

01:23:12.000 From when you find it to when we could figure out a way to stop it.

01:23:15.000 Oh, that it would take us to...

01:23:16.000 10 years.

01:23:17.000 Oh, I... So asteroids coming towards Earth.

01:23:17.000 You're not just...

01:23:20.000 You need 10 years gap time between recognizing it's definitely going to hit Earth and having the ability and the technology to shift its direction.

01:23:29.000 Couldn't you just go and shoot a rocket at it?

01:23:31.000 Why not?

01:23:31.000 No, bro.

01:23:32.000 It doesn't work that way.

01:23:33.000 That's what happened in that movie.

01:23:34.000 Which one?

01:23:35.000 Deep Impact or Armageddon?

01:23:37.000 The Will Smith one, right?

01:23:38.000 Oh, it was Armageddon?

01:23:39.000 No, it was Samuel L. Jackson.

01:23:39.000 Was it Will Smith?

01:23:41.000 Which one was Samuel L. Jackson, the president?

01:23:41.000 No.

01:23:44.000 Was it Morgan Freeman?

01:23:46.000 I'm Morgan Freeman.

01:23:46.000 Morgan Freeman.

01:23:47.000 Did they give up on the Me Too against him?

01:23:49.000 Seems like they let it go.

01:23:51.000 I think so.

01:23:52.000 I'm Morgan Freeman.

01:23:54.000 They tested the waters.

01:23:54.000 Leave me alone.

01:23:55.000 I didn't do anything.

01:23:57.000 What do you think about this Louis C.K. thing?

01:23:58.000 Louis C.K. has returned.

01:24:00.000 Yeah, he came back.

01:24:01.000 Everybody's going crazy.

01:24:03.000 Kyle Dunnigan did a...

01:24:04.000 Go to Kyle Dunnigan's page and pull out his Instagram.

01:24:08.000 Kyle Dunnigan, who has the best Instagram page.

01:24:11.000 The best.

01:24:12.000 It's the best.

01:24:13.000 If you're not going there, it's Donald Trump congratulating Louis C.K. for his return.

01:24:17.000 Oh, no.

01:24:17.000 Give me some volume.

01:24:18.000 Hey, Louis!

01:24:20.000 Trump loved what you did at the comedy club.

01:24:21.000 So terrific.

01:24:23.000 Nobody knew what was happening until you were standing right in front of them spewing out your material.

01:24:28.000 Classic Louis.

01:24:30.000 Well, thank you, sir.

01:24:31.000 You didn't ask anyone if they wanted to see it.

01:24:34.000 You gave them no choice but to watch you work it.

01:24:37.000 Beautiful.

01:24:38.000 I just went there to do some jokes.

01:24:40.000 They were good jokes.

01:24:41.000 Now people are like, oh, too soon.

01:24:44.000 I'm on stage forever.

01:24:45.000 You should have talked about the elephant in the room, though, okay?

01:24:48.000 Start off with something like, hey, I just flew in from California, and boy, are my arms tired from jacking off in the airplane the whole time.

01:24:56.000 It was terrific.

01:24:57.000 Everybody was trapped and they're forced to watch me.

01:25:00.000 Best plan of my life. 0.97

01:25:01.000 D'oh, are you crazy? 0.95

01:25:04.000 You mean that joke? 0.97

01:25:05.000 Okay, I gotta go, okay?

01:25:07.000 Yeah, me too.

01:25:08.000 Me too.

01:25:09.000 Louis C.K., you're hilarious.

01:25:19.000 Oh, he's so damn funny.

01:25:21.000 Shout out to Kyle Dunn.

01:25:22.000 My old roommate.

01:25:23.000 Is he really your old roommate?

01:25:24.000 Oh yeah, Kyle and I for sure.

01:25:26.000 Where'd you guys live together?

01:25:27.000 New York City in a horrible one-bedroom apartment.

01:25:32.000 Had no doors.

01:25:33.000 I was on a futon.

01:25:34.000 He was in the back.

01:25:35.000 We had no windows.

01:25:36.000 It was covered with roaches.

01:25:37.000 Wow.

01:25:38.000 No sink in the bathroom.

01:25:39.000 Look at you now, making bread on TV. Kyle Dunn gets mocking the president and one of the best comedians of our age.

01:25:45.000 I know, it's so great.

01:25:48.000 Oh, what a mess.

01:25:50.000 What a mess.

01:25:51.000 What do you think about this?

01:25:52.000 Some people don't want him to come back.

01:25:53.000 Some people think he should be allowed to come back and he served time off.

01:25:58.000 And then the argument by a lot of women is, yeah, but he hasn't said anything.

01:26:02.000 He hasn't done anything.

01:26:04.000 Yeah, what is...

01:26:06.000 What shows that he's learned?

01:26:08.000 What should you have to do?

01:26:11.000 I don't know.

01:26:12.000 I mean, Louie's very smart.

01:26:13.000 I'm sure if he wants to keep doing it after this reception, he'll probably come out with some statement or do something.

01:26:20.000 I don't know.

01:26:21.000 But the reality is...

01:26:25.000 What did he lose?

01:26:26.000 They took away...

01:26:27.000 Networks took away his stuff.

01:26:29.000 Film distributors weren't going to put out his film.

01:26:32.000 But as a comedian... 1.00

01:26:34.000 By all accounts, the film was shit. 1.00

01:26:36.000 Anybody who's seen the film... 1.00

01:26:38.000 I haven't seen it.

01:26:39.000 I have a few friends that saw it.

01:26:40.000 They're like, it's just so creepy and weird.

01:26:42.000 Especially in light of what he was doing.

01:26:44.000 Yeah, it's just like...

01:26:45.000 No, but regardless whether it was good or not, I'm just saying, like, the industry said...

01:26:50.000 FX said, I'm taking this show from you.

01:26:52.000 HBO said, we're taking this stuff off.

01:26:54.000 Netflix said, we're taking this off.

01:26:55.000 Well, he definitely lost money financially.

01:26:58.000 For sure.

01:26:59.000 And those are entities that...

01:27:01.000 Okay, but is that punishment, or is that them exercising their desire to not work with someone who's been accused of something that they don't want to be associated with?

01:27:10.000 Is that a punishment?

01:27:11.000 That seems to me that they're making a decision of who they work with and who they not work with.

01:27:16.000 It affects him negatively, but it's not necessarily a punishment.

01:27:20.000 Well, I don't know.

01:27:23.000 I think it would feel like a punishment.

01:27:24.000 Sure.

01:27:25.000 But my point is, there's these entities that can prevent him from making a living.

01:27:30.000 As a comedian, though, he can walk into a garage, and if he has fans, they're going to come see him.

01:27:37.000 He has that under his control.

01:27:37.000 Right.

01:27:39.000 Yeah.

01:27:39.000 Right?

01:27:40.000 Yeah.

01:27:40.000 Nobody can stop that.

01:27:42.000 Nobody.

01:27:43.000 So he can do it.

01:27:45.000 It's up to him whether he wants to or not.

01:27:47.000 It's up to his fans whether they show up or not.

01:27:49.000 And it's up to the people that hate what he did and are really against him to not go.

01:27:53.000 Well, that's why this thing was weird, because he just showed up at the cellar, which is his favorite place to go, and he just worked out material.

01:27:53.000 Right.

01:28:01.000 And the audience, like Kyle was saying, is just, they're trapped in there and they can't get out.

01:28:06.000 They didn't have an option to say, I don't want to see him.

01:28:08.000 It's really interesting all the different spins, though.

01:28:11.000 All the different women's spins. 0.92

01:28:13.000 And one really bizarre spin that I saw was this woman was saying that this is indicative of the problem of all comedy clubs, an aggressive male audience, and women sitting there... 1.00

01:28:25.000 Feeling threatened not being able to use their voice.

01:28:29.000 I'm like, use their voice?

01:28:30.000 What are you going to heckle?

01:28:31.000 Are you saying you would be more empowered if there were more women so you could heckle? 1.00

01:28:35.000 Yeah.

01:28:36.000 That's not cool.

01:28:37.000 You're not supposed to do that at a comedy club.

01:28:39.000 If you don't like someone, just don't laugh.

01:28:42.000 Right.

01:28:43.000 But here's the thing.

01:28:45.000 It's not your job or it's not your place to say that you don't like someone when the other people do like it.

01:28:53.000 Right.

01:28:53.000 You can get up and walk out.

01:28:55.000 Yeah, just like you're going to see a movie.

01:28:57.000 Like, you're an audience member.

01:28:58.000 The deal is, you're not there to perform.

01:29:01.000 The audience is there to just sit there and laugh or not laugh.

01:29:05.000 But don't be rude to the other people that are enjoying it.

01:29:07.000 So as soon as you put your sensibilities above the rest of the audience, well, you're a problem.

01:29:13.000 If you decide, like, hey, I didn't like this, I'm going to go home and write about it, that's totally your prerogative.

01:29:18.000 Get up and walk out.

01:29:18.000 That's fine.

01:29:19.000 That's fine.

01:29:20.000 Or go somewhere else and talk about it on stage yourself.

01:29:23.000 Nothing wrong with any of those things.

01:29:25.000 But this one woman's take was like, women don't feel like they have the ability to speak out about it. 1.00

01:29:32.000 I'm like, speak out?

01:29:33.000 So you're saying to heckle, hey, I don't want you on stage.

01:29:36.000 I know everything about you and your story.

01:29:40.000 And it's up to me.

01:29:41.000 I don't want you to perform in front of me, even those other people are laughing.

01:29:44.000 Right.

01:29:45.000 And that these aggressive men were yelling, good to see you back, Louis.

01:29:50.000 Aggressive men.

01:29:51.000 Like, what?

01:29:51.000 Okay.

01:29:52.000 That's like, there's a framing of this.

01:29:55.000 And this is one of, it becomes this male versus female framing.

01:29:59.000 That Louis sort of represents aggressive men, sexual men, doing things to women they don't want.

01:30:04.000 The women are sitting there in silence.

01:30:06.000 They don't want to be there.

01:30:07.000 And they don't have a voice because they feel overwhelmed and overpopulated or outnumbered.

01:30:14.000 Well, the problem is those guys that Harvey and him and Matt Lauer and people like that, they are the poster boys for that.

01:30:25.000 So they're going to be watched very closely.

01:30:28.000 How does Matt Lauer fit into that?

01:30:29.000 I get confused by this one.

01:30:31.000 By all accounts, Matt Lauer had affairs, right?

01:30:35.000 In the office with girls who worked with him. 0.88

01:30:38.000 So what was inappropriate is he was having sex with his staff, right? 0.95

01:30:42.000 Right, but he was also hitting on people that didn't want to be hit on in his office. 0.76

01:30:46.000 Yeah, that was the accusations.

01:30:48.000 Yeah, it wasn't just he was dating them.

01:30:50.000 He was also, you know, making weird advancements in the office.

01:30:55.000 Yeah.

01:30:58.000 Okay.

01:30:58.000 But I mean, all these guys, you know, they're all very complicated.

01:31:02.000 They're all very fuzzy kind of things.

01:31:05.000 But, you know, those guys are going to be watched very closely.

01:31:09.000 As you see, Louis just goes to this little club and does a set, and it's national news and national debate.

01:31:14.000 It's like, it's...

01:31:18.000 It's heady stuff.

01:31:19.000 It's heady stuff.

01:31:20.000 Yeah.

01:31:20.000 But what's fascinating is that as a culture, we're going through this great time of change and this great time of introspective thinking and of...

01:31:33.000 We're observing our behavior and discussing our behavior and watching this.

01:31:40.000 You have the worst case examples of which, in my opinion, is Cosby. 1.00

01:31:44.000 The worst case example, like drugging people and raping them. 0.98

01:31:47.000 I mean, there's a woman who was on television, on CNN. She said something that freaked me out once. 0.99

01:31:51.000 She said... 0.99

01:31:52.000 It is entirely possible that Bill Cosby is the most prolific serial rapist in history. 0.99

01:31:58.000 Oh, jeez. 0.98

01:31:59.000 That's a big statement.

01:32:00.000 I heard that and I went, maybe she's right.

01:32:03.000 Maybe she's right. 0.83

01:32:04.000 Like, how many people does a regular rapist rape before they get caught? 0.97

01:32:07.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:32:08.000 You know?

01:32:09.000 I mean, that's the number that came out against him.

01:32:11.000 I'm sure there's other people that had...

01:32:13.000 Yeah.

01:32:14.000 So that's like the far end of the spectrum.

01:32:18.000 Right.

01:32:18.000 And then on the other end of the spectrum, you got like Louie.

01:32:21.000 Mm-hmm.

01:32:21.000 Who's...

01:32:23.000 Did something was definitely you wouldn't want to happen to your wife.

01:32:26.000 No, your kids.

01:32:27.000 Or your kids.

01:32:29.000 Or your friends.

01:32:30.000 I don't know the whole story.

01:32:32.000 You know, Kurt Metzger was telling me that one of the girls who came out against him, like, they had been flirting, like, the whole weekend and talking about sex, like, the whole weekend.

01:32:42.000 And then he did that.

01:32:43.000 And then he had sent the girl a text saying, I'm really sorry that I did that.

01:32:47.000 And she said, don't worry about it.

01:32:49.000 Look, we were talking about sex all weekend.

01:32:51.000 And then when the accusations came out, obviously there was more accusations that seemed to be more egregious.

01:32:57.000 She threw her hat into the mix as well.

01:33:00.000 Right.

01:33:00.000 I don't know if that's true or not, though.

01:33:02.000 The problem with a lot of these stories is you're hearing them third, fourth, fifth hand.

01:33:05.000 Yeah.

01:33:06.000 All you know is he said those stories are true and that he recognized that he did something wrong and he was going to take time off.

01:33:06.000 You don't...

01:33:15.000 So that, to me, is not a guy defending himself. 0.99

01:33:17.000 That's a guy saying, yeah, I definitely fucked up. 0.98

01:33:20.000 I'm going to step back. 0.99

01:33:21.000 So he steps back for nine months or whatever it was, and people are saying, that's not long enough.

01:33:26.000 You didn't do anything.

01:33:28.000 You've got to...

01:33:29.000 So what what should someone do? 1.00

01:33:32.000 Like in one of the things that Michael Ian Black said on Twitter before they tore his dick off and stuffed it in his nose. 1.00

01:33:41.000 That was a crazy thing to watch because he's like super progressive, very liberal. 1.00

01:33:46.000 Yeah.

01:33:47.000 And he was saying that, you know, like that Me Too has to offer men a road to redemption.

01:33:52.000 Mm hmm.

01:33:52.000 And a lot of these women were saying, no, every road to redemption begins with, I'm sorry, which is a very valid point.

01:34:00.000 A very valid point.

01:34:01.000 You should have to say, I'm sorry.

01:34:03.000 And I think he's said, I'm sorry, but I don't know what he said to the women.

01:34:08.000 I don't know what he said.

01:34:09.000 He had the one public statement.

01:34:11.000 Did he say, I'm sorry, in that one public statement?

01:34:13.000 In that Times article, it was kind of like a veiled, I'm sorry, I think.

01:34:18.000 I don't know, Matt.

01:34:19.000 I don't know.

01:34:20.000 You know, I hesitate to comment on any of it because it's like his mess.

01:34:26.000 And like if anyone that comments on it or comes near it or like the owner of the Comedy Cellar, everyone's got to deal with the aftermath of what this guy did.

01:34:35.000 It's like, why am I, you know, as the owner of the Cellar, it's like, why does he have to get brought into Louie's behavior?

01:34:45.000 Right.

01:34:47.000 Right.

01:34:53.000 Right, I saw that. 0.97

01:34:54.000 And they were going after Michael Che and his useless opinion, like, whoa. 0.90

01:34:58.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:34:59.000 Whoa.

01:34:59.000 Yeah.

01:35:00.000 You know, but look, they're allowed their opinion that Michael Che's opinion is useless.

01:35:05.000 I mean, this is one of the beautiful things about free expression.

01:35:07.000 No, completely.

01:35:08.000 That's where it's kind of the most interesting for me.

01:35:12.000 And I don't mean that I take pleasure in any of this because it's horrible for everyone involved.

01:35:17.000 But...

01:35:18.000 It's interesting.

01:35:19.000 Like I said, there's companies that probably won't go back into business with him.

01:35:24.000 But as a comedian, he could put a show up in the park.

01:35:27.000 He could put a show up anywhere he wants.

01:35:29.000 It's really up to him.

01:35:30.000 And people can protest it.

01:35:32.000 They can not show up.

01:35:33.000 They can buy tickets by the thousands.

01:35:35.000 It's going to be interesting to see when he takes that part of his earning and that part of his life in his own hands.

01:35:44.000 You really can't stop him.

01:35:46.000 Yeah, in that way.

01:35:49.000 It's like how you frame it.

01:35:51.000 I don't think Louie's a bad guy at all. 0.99

01:35:54.000 I think what Louie is is a pervert. 0.98

01:35:56.000 And I think he's, you know, he's into... 0.94

01:36:00.000 I think part of it is like being naughty and doing something that's forbidden and, you know, and getting away with it and having these girls like him for being a comedian and then doing that to them.

01:36:12.000 I mean, this is my speculation.

01:36:14.000 There's a lot of weirdness to it.

01:36:16.000 But I don't think that he's like...

01:36:19.000 An angry person, and I don't think he's trying to be hurtful.

01:36:23.000 I don't think any of that was.

01:36:24.000 I think it's just terrible judgment. 0.82

01:36:28.000 Everything, I mean, you could say a lot about it that's fucked up, but it's like what it is is not He's not trying to hurt people. 0.99

01:36:39.000 I think he's just fucking weird. 0.99

01:36:42.000 Think about what it is. 1.00

01:36:44.000 He's asking, can I jerk off in front of you? 1.00

01:36:48.000 When it comes to that kind of creepy shit, it's the most considerate way to approach it. 1.00

01:36:55.000 Can I jerk off in front of you? 1.00

01:36:57.000 He's literally asking. 1.00

01:37:00.000 Adorable.

01:37:00.000 It's funny.

01:37:02.000 It's so fucked up. 1.00

01:37:03.000 It is a mess. 1.00

01:37:04.000 I'm not diminishing the effect that it would have on a woman who respects him. 1.00

01:37:08.000 She just thinks he's our friend and next thing you know he's got his dick out. 1.00

01:37:11.000 I get it. 1.00

01:37:12.000 That's not what I'm saying.

01:37:14.000 It's a weird thing because those women were obviously very hurt. 1.00

01:37:19.000 And there's degrees of like, oh, they texted this or they said that.

01:37:22.000 To go out and do that to somebody in a powerful position and come out and say it and know that you're going to get hate from the world...

01:37:32.000 Risky.

01:37:32.000 They were in a place that they were hurt enough that they felt that they had to say something and do something.

01:37:37.000 Sure.

01:37:37.000 And you just want, like on this personal level, you want them to be okay.

01:37:42.000 Right.

01:37:42.000 You want everybody to be okay.

01:37:43.000 You want them to be okay and feel like they had justice for coming out, being brave enough to come out and say something.

01:37:50.000 Well, you also want to protect people from that happening again.

01:37:52.000 Yeah, right.

01:37:53.000 And then the only way, one of the only ways is like you got to kind of And there's definitely a feeling, you know, the comedy world is like separate and we kind of like, you know, it's a crazy environment and nightclub kind of a thing.

01:38:11.000 And what you heard once these women came out was, no, this is kind of inappropriate that girls, women can... 1.00

01:38:20.000 Can't come into a club and just feel okay.

01:38:22.000 Like they have to field all this stuff and guys hitting on them all the time.

01:38:25.000 Like it kind of made you look at the scene and be like, alright, maybe this scene could be cleaned up a little bit as well.

01:38:31.000 Well, it's like what I was saying about really a worse version of working out at a gay gym. 1.00

01:38:38.000 It's like if you go to a gay gym and you see men leer at you, you get that feeling that these guys want to have sex with you and you definitely don't want to have sex with them. 1.00

01:38:46.000 That is how women feel all the time. 1.00

01:38:49.000 And you're coming to the comedy store or wherever and you're trying to just start out as a comic.

01:38:54.000 That's such a big thing already.

01:38:56.000 And then you throw a whole other layer on it that everyone's hitting on you from the doorman to the headliner.

01:39:02.000 That's got to be a big thing.

01:39:05.000 And it's like...

01:39:06.000 So, I think that those women should feel good that it definitely... 1.00

01:39:10.000 They should...

01:39:11.000 It made an impact.

01:39:12.000 They should know that they've been heard.

01:39:14.000 Yeah.

01:39:14.000 And that they shined a light on something that even people that were in it, men that were in it, were unaware of.

01:39:22.000 Yeah.

01:39:22.000 They were definitely heard.

01:39:24.000 It's very difficult for people to consider, really objectively consider, other people's perspectives.

01:39:30.000 Like, really consider it.

01:39:32.000 People consider it in a convenient way.

01:39:34.000 Like, you know, they know what they can get away with, but do they really consider how the other person feels and thinks?

01:39:40.000 Yeah.

01:39:40.000 And, you know, that's on both sides.

01:39:42.000 It's hard.

01:39:43.000 There's inconsiderate women, there's inconsiderate men, and then, you know, we both do it to each other, and then people develop bad traits and bad associations with the opposite sex, and it's a very common thing that people do.

01:39:55.000 But I think...

01:39:57.000 Situations where the discussion is so emotionally charged like this, it's good for us.

01:40:05.000 It's good for us.

01:40:06.000 It allows this public discourse.

01:40:09.000 It allows this public discussion of it.

01:40:11.000 And there hasn't been people that have gotten hurt by people.

01:40:18.000 That have come out and said it like in our scene where they're like nice people and they've been attacked.

01:40:23.000 It was very few.

01:40:24.000 Yeah.

01:40:25.000 But it was like, hey, there's some big important people in this scene and they're acting inappropriately.

01:40:29.000 And, you know, you're right.

01:40:31.000 I think it's good.

01:40:32.000 It's definitely woke it up and moved it further.

01:40:35.000 I have a funny daughter.

01:40:35.000 Right.

01:40:36.000 I know you have a funny daughter.

01:40:38.000 If they see our life and want to go pursue it, you want them to be able to go to a club and not have to deal with a whole other...

01:40:38.000 Who knows?

01:40:45.000 It's enough when you're starting out to get five minutes of good material and to get the audience to like you and get the respect of your peers.

01:40:52.000 Then you've got to worry about someone following you in the parking lot.

01:40:56.000 I have a friend of mine who's a comic and she got hit on by this other guy who's a comic.

01:41:01.000 Who shall remain nameless? 0.98

01:41:03.000 And she showed me some of the texts that he sent her, and I was like, holy shit. 0.99

01:41:07.000 Right. 0.99

01:41:08.000 And one of them was like, I'm the only one that can make you cum or something fucking crazy like that. 0.99

01:41:12.000 I'm like, what? 0.99

01:41:14.000 I'm like, what?

01:41:15.000 Yeah, it's...

01:41:16.000 I'm like, hey, bro.

01:41:17.000 What?

01:41:18.000 Yeah.

01:41:20.000 So then it comes down to, okay, so these women were heard.

01:41:25.000 Obviously, it's created a movement, you know.

01:41:28.000 But then it becomes, on the other side, it becomes about, but did this man, was he punished enough?

01:41:34.000 And do we have control over whether or not he's allowed to come back as an audience?

01:41:39.000 Like, for a woman, like, the thing about a guy being angry with you, it carries that threat of physical danger.

01:41:46.000 Mm-hmm.

01:41:48.000 You know, that's a different thing.

01:41:49.000 I know.

01:41:50.000 I was thinking, I was on a hike the other day, and I was thinking about that fine line at the end of the night in a bar.

01:41:57.000 Those meathead guys who were trying to, like, hit on girls.

01:41:59.000 And when it doesn't work, they decide they're just going to fight instead. 1.00

01:42:02.000 Fucking lesbian. 1.00

01:42:03.000 No, that they're going to fight guys. 1.00

01:42:05.000 That's a fine line.

01:42:07.000 You know what I mean?

01:42:08.000 They're both almost violent acts.

01:42:10.000 It's like aggressively hitting on women and being like, it's not going to happen. 0.92

01:42:13.000 Well, screw it. 0.90

01:42:14.000 I don't like the way that guy's been looking at me. 0.93

01:42:16.000 I think it's just frustration.

01:42:17.000 They're just frustrated.

01:42:19.000 But looking at a male... 0.91

01:42:23.000 Doing that.

01:42:24.000 Like, it is an aggressive...

01:42:25.000 This is an aggressive animal here.

01:42:28.000 And one minute he could have been...

01:42:30.000 I could have said yes and brought him home with me.

01:42:32.000 Well, he said no, and now he's punching that guy in the parking lot.

01:42:34.000 How often does that happen, though?

01:42:36.000 Is that really a common narrative?

01:42:37.000 Yeah, whenever... 0.98

01:42:38.000 Guys don't get laid, they try to hit on girls, and they just beat the shit out of each other? 0.95

01:42:41.000 Yeah, it seems like it happens all... 0.99

01:42:44.000 It seems like it happens all the time. 0.98

01:42:46.000 All this sex in my body, I need to beat out on you, bro. 0.97

01:42:48.000 Even in the village, you're walking down the street and there's just like an angry frat group of guys just like raging drunk. 0.99

01:42:56.000 You know they were trying to get laid ten minutes earlier.

01:43:00.000 Yeah, male angst. 0.99

01:43:00.000 My point being that men are formidable, dangerous, gross creatures. 0.99

01:43:06.000 They're gross. 0.99

01:43:07.000 Yeah, and they're big and they're hairy. 0.99

01:43:09.000 That's why there's seven billion people, because men are gross and they shoot loads into each other. 1.00

01:43:13.000 Everybody's shooting lows into people. 0.98

01:43:15.000 Especially at your weightlifting gym. 0.95

01:43:17.000 I had a gay friend in New York.

01:43:21.000 What was the name of that gym there?

01:43:23.000 David Barton or something like that?

01:43:25.000 David Barton?

01:43:26.000 It's like some kind of health club in New York.

01:43:28.000 Okay.

01:43:29.000 And it was... 0.56

01:43:30.000 It was mostly gay men. 0.73

01:43:32.000 And my friend said, he said, no, you don't understand. 0.56

01:43:35.000 It's really, I mean, it's to the point where when you're working out on a machine, there are pin lights that come right down on your bicep.

01:43:43.000 The lighting is made to make you look sexier while you're working out.

01:43:48.000 He said it was the greatest gym of all time.

01:43:50.000 They have, like, specific kind of lighting to accentuate the musculature?

01:43:55.000 Yeah, like if I was on a curling machine right now, there'd be a light that came from the ceiling that hits where your biceps are.

01:44:00.000 To make the shadows, to make the peaks look bigger.

01:44:03.000 Yeah.

01:44:04.000 Yeah. 0.69

01:44:05.000 So it's about sex. 0.59

01:44:07.000 Yeah.

01:44:08.000 You're working out.

01:44:09.000 Well, if you go to a regular gym, you see people hitting on each other all the time.

01:44:13.000 Yeah.

01:44:14.000 Of course.

01:44:15.000 Is that it?

01:44:16.000 David Barton gym.

01:44:18.000 Yeah, that looks sexy.

01:44:20.000 The one in Chelsea.

01:44:21.000 Doesn't that look sexy?

01:44:23.000 Yeah, look at that.

01:44:24.000 Dumbbells.

01:44:25.000 Oh, those dumbbells.

01:44:27.000 It's sexy.

01:44:28.000 What is that?

01:44:28.000 That looks like a bar.

01:44:29.000 What is that?

01:44:31.000 Oh, those are machines.

01:44:32.000 Those are cardio machines.

01:44:33.000 Yeah, up top. 0.97

01:44:35.000 Sex is a weird thing. 0.98

01:44:35.000 How weird. 0.98

01:44:37.000 It is, for sure. 0.96

01:44:38.000 Well, it's even weirder when it's packaged with advertising and sleekness and music and then you see it in real life and people are- Sex sells, baby! 0.98

01:44:47.000 And then on this social media and everyone's sticking their ass out and, you know, it's like there's so much going on. 0.99

01:44:52.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:44:52.000 There's so much. 0.96

01:44:53.000 We're so overstimulated with sexual imagery. 0.85

01:44:57.000 Do you feel like you'll be grateful when you're old and your sex drive is gone? 0.98

01:45:03.000 No, I'll be almost dead then. 0.99

01:45:04.000 I'll be like, sad. 1.00

01:45:06.000 What do you hate, sex? 0.98

01:45:08.000 No, it's not about sex being bad. 1.00

01:45:10.000 It's about being an asshole. 1.00

01:45:12.000 And it's also about the shit roll of the dice that you get if you're physically unattractive, when it's difficult to get someone who's attracted to you. 1.00

01:45:20.000 Yes. 0.98

01:45:20.000 That's hard, too. 0.98

01:45:21.000 That is hard.

01:45:22.000 That is an inescapable reality of some people's bodies.

01:45:26.000 Yes.

01:45:26.000 Some people are just, they have bad genetics.

01:45:30.000 Yeah.

01:45:31.000 And then it must be insanely frustrating.

01:45:33.000 It's got to be frustrating.

01:45:34.000 Yeah.

01:45:35.000 But then you've got to just find someone else that's funny looking.

01:45:38.000 Then you don't want them.

01:45:40.000 Yeah, make yourself want them.

01:45:41.000 You want Demi Moore to hit on you the way she hit on Michael Douglas in that movie. 1.00

01:45:44.000 How come I can't be in this disclosure movie?

01:45:49.000 Do you know that people are mad that someone's playing the elephant man, but that they're an able-bodied person?

01:45:54.000 This is the most recent PC uproar, that they hired an able-bodied actor to play the elephant man.

01:46:01.000 Well, how many...

01:46:02.000 Elephant men are in the Actors Guild. 1.00

01:46:05.000 It's just exhausting.

01:46:07.000 It's exhausting keeping up with everything.

01:46:10.000 Everything is outrageous.

01:46:10.000 Yeah.

01:46:12.000 Everything.

01:46:13.000 Yeah.

01:46:14.000 Well, this is the time, like you said, like...

01:46:17.000 Getting outrage in discussions and then it'll kind of come back to a normal spot.

01:46:21.000 Stranger Things stars casting an Elephant Man remake criticized by a disability charity.

01:46:26.000 But you know what?

01:46:27.000 You need a good actor.

01:46:29.000 Yeah.

01:46:30.000 You just can't make everybody happy.

01:46:32.000 And by the way, here's the thing, no disrespect to the disability charity, but a lot of these disability charities criticize this just so that they can highlight their charity and it's very good for the charity if they criticize things.

01:46:43.000 Right.

01:46:43.000 Because it makes people aware of it, it becomes a big public story, and then they get donations.

01:46:47.000 Yeah.

01:46:47.000 It's not bad for them.

01:46:48.000 You've got to consider the source.

01:46:49.000 I mean, they're probably just artists trying to make the film, and, you know, who knows?

01:46:53.000 If they're good people, then you know that they're going to respect it.

01:46:57.000 Nope.

01:46:57.000 You need a disability person in there.

01:46:59.000 A person with disabilities to play a person with disabilities.

01:47:02.000 Period. 1.00

01:47:03.000 You piece of shit. 1.00

01:47:04.000 But isn't that what acting is? 1.00

01:47:05.000 Shut the fuck up and let people of disability speak. 1.00

01:47:08.000 Yeah, but I thought acting was pretending. 1.00

01:47:10.000 I thought acting was doing something that you're not.

01:47:10.000 How about this?

01:47:12.000 First people of color speak, then women of color, then women, then gay, lesbian, straight, trans, bisexual, asexual, intersexual, then you, you fucking white male bread-making piece of shit! 1.00

01:47:29.000 I just make bread. 1.00

01:47:30.000 Leave me out of all of your crazy sex condom. 1.00

01:47:33.000 I don't know what's going on with all you guys whacking off. 1.00

01:47:35.000 Do you want to be an ally or not? 1.00

01:47:38.000 You son of a bitch! 1.00

01:47:39.000 Look, I'm just trying to show you the best cupcakes in New York. 1.00

01:47:42.000 Oh.

01:47:43.000 What are you doing in L.A.? Are you going to film in L.A.? Yeah.

01:47:47.000 We did Vito's Pizza.

01:47:49.000 Where'd you go?

01:47:49.000 Where's Vito's Pizza?

01:47:50.000 Vito's Pizza right by Largo.

01:47:52.000 Between Largo and the Comedy Store.

01:47:55.000 So good.

01:47:55.000 Really?

01:47:56.000 There's a good pizza place in L.A.? The best pizza in L.A. Fuck out of here. 1.00

01:47:59.000 I'm telling you. 1.00

01:48:00.000 How good is it?

01:48:01.000 He came from New Jersey.

01:48:02.000 His name's Vito.

01:48:03.000 He's got his sourdough starter.

01:48:04.000 Is he one of those guys with chips in the water?

01:48:05.000 No.

01:48:06.000 He says it's not about the water.

01:48:07.000 That's a farce.

01:48:08.000 He goes, you just have to know what you're doing.

01:48:09.000 Have good ingredients.

01:48:13.000 Impeccable.

01:48:14.000 Because he knows how to make the dough.

01:48:15.000 Really?

01:48:16.000 He's spraying the water and he's lying about it.

01:48:16.000 Yeah.

01:48:16.000 This guy's legit.

01:48:19.000 No.

01:48:20.000 Vito's the real deal.

01:48:22.000 Vito's got trucks of water in his backyard.

01:48:24.000 He's not telling nobody.

01:48:28.000 Vito! 1.00

01:48:29.000 Fucking Vito! 1.00

01:48:30.000 Look at that meatball sub. 1.00

01:48:31.000 There he is! 1.00

01:48:32.000 Look at that fucking meatball sub. 1.00

01:48:34.000 Ooh, that looks so good. 1.00

01:48:35.000 It's so good.

01:48:36.000 If I was going to go off my diet, I would be eating that meatball sub.

01:48:38.000 Oh, it's so good.

01:48:40.000 Spaghetti looks very good as well.

01:48:42.000 Everything this guy makes is amazing. 0.99

01:48:44.000 Damn, Vito. 0.99

01:48:44.000 It literally smelled like my grandmother's house. 0.99

01:48:46.000 Damn, look at that cannoli, Vito, you motherfucker. 1.00

01:48:48.000 I'm in ketosis over here. 1.00

01:48:51.000 Why you gotta fucking do this to me, Vito? 0.99

01:48:54.000 Come on, Joe. 0.99

01:48:55.000 When you're off it and we're at the store, we'll go to Vito's.

01:48:57.000 It's literally down the street.

01:48:58.000 I'm on it right now.

01:48:59.000 For how long?

01:49:00.000 I go on and off.

01:49:02.000 I'll go on it for a few months.

01:49:03.000 I'll go off it for a few months.

01:49:04.000 Yeah.

01:49:05.000 All right.

01:49:05.000 I mean, occasionally I'll have a cheat day, so it'll knock me out of ketosis for a few hours and knock me back.

01:49:11.000 Just a few hours.

01:49:12.000 Yeah.

01:49:13.000 Well, right now I'm in, you would call it mild ketosis.

01:49:16.000 If you look at my piss strip, I put it up on my Instagram.

01:49:18.000 There's a chart.

01:49:19.000 It shows you like the darkest to the lightest.

01:49:22.000 Oh, yeah?

01:49:23.000 Yeah.

01:49:24.000 I'm in like mid, so I've only been on it for five days, six days.

01:49:29.000 How do you feel?

01:49:30.000 I always feel good.

01:49:31.000 I get used to doing it.

01:49:33.000 I'm used to it.

01:49:34.000 It seems weird.

01:49:35.000 It seems like I'm not on that spectrum at all.

01:49:37.000 It's because it dried out a little bit before I put it up to...

01:49:39.000 What happens if you eat a slice of Vito's?

01:49:43.000 It'll knock me down to that negative.

01:49:45.000 Uh-huh.

01:49:46.000 Where it's nothing.

01:49:47.000 That quickly.

01:49:47.000 One slice?

01:49:49.000 Yeah.

01:49:50.000 I'm somewhere in the range of moderate.

01:49:53.000 Moderate ketosis.

01:49:54.000 Moderate ketosis.

01:49:55.000 But again, I pissed on it and then I let the strip sit for a little bit and it dried.

01:49:58.000 And it looks a little weird. 0.89

01:49:59.000 This is disgusting.

01:50:01.000 Anyway, what it does for me though, it's very good for my appetite and there's cognitive benefits.

01:50:07.000 You feel sharper?

01:50:08.000 Yeah, my mind feels clearer when I'm on it, yeah.

01:50:10.000 That's interesting.

01:50:11.000 I think there's a certain amount of fog that comes with carbohydrate consumption.

01:50:15.000 Too much.

01:50:16.000 Yeah.

01:50:16.000 Well, carbohydrate consumption in general.

01:50:19.000 When you eat carbohydrates, post-carbohydrate consumption is like a lack of mental clarity, like a downturn of the way your brain functions.

01:50:28.000 You know what I call that?

01:50:29.000 Sleepy time.

01:50:30.000 Nappy time.

01:50:30.000 Nap time.

01:50:31.000 Yeah.

01:50:32.000 Sweet, sweet nap time.

01:50:33.000 Nap time.

01:50:34.000 Well, you and I contrast in many ways, my friend.

01:50:36.000 I try and dial it in.

01:50:38.000 I don't eat this stuff all the time, but you know.

01:50:41.000 Yeah, but look, you love it.

01:50:42.000 There's nothing wrong with it.

01:50:42.000 I do love it.

01:50:43.000 It's a celebration of life.

01:50:45.000 And one of my favorite dishes on planet Earth is linguine with clams.

01:50:49.000 I love it.

01:50:51.000 When I want to go off, like when I was in Italy, I was in Italy a couple weeks ago.

01:50:51.000 It's so good.

01:50:54.000 Oh yeah?

01:50:55.000 I ate it every day.

01:50:55.000 Where'd you go?

01:50:56.000 Ravello.

01:50:57.000 Ravello, where's that?

01:50:58.000 Amalfi Coast.

01:50:59.000 Went to Capri.

01:51:01.000 We took a boat to Capri and we ate there. 0.99

01:51:04.000 It's fucking phenomenal food. 0.98

01:51:06.000 The food was outrageous. 1.00

01:51:07.000 So fresh clams with the...

01:51:08.000 Fresh sardines, man.

01:51:10.000 Sardine filets in olive oil.

01:51:10.000 Filets.

01:51:13.000 So good.

01:51:14.000 The best.

01:51:14.000 So good.

01:51:15.000 Oh my god!

01:51:16.000 So good.

01:51:17.000 Clams, the clams, everything was so fresh.

01:51:19.000 But it was interesting, there was Valentin Thomas, who was a professional spearfisher person she was on the other day, and she was saying that the oceans in that area are completely overfished.

01:51:32.000 Oh, really?

01:51:32.000 Yeah, it's almost impossible for a regular person to go there and catch a fish.

01:51:37.000 That's terrible.

01:51:38.000 They just overfished everything.

01:51:39.000 It's such a bummer being alive now.

01:51:42.000 It's such a bummer that everywhere you go, it's always the end of whatever.

01:51:45.000 It's the end of the coral reef.

01:51:47.000 It's the end of these animals running through the woods.

01:51:50.000 It's the end of...

01:51:51.000 It's such a bummer.

01:51:52.000 It is, in a lot of ways.

01:51:54.000 Even I try to show my kids nice nature videos like I used to watch with my dad, and everyone at the end is like, but this is going away. 0.97

01:52:02.000 It's just like, ugh, it sucks.

01:52:04.000 Some of it is going away. 0.98

01:52:06.000 Isn't most of it?

01:52:09.000 I mean, it's how you look at it.

01:52:12.000 It's like we're definitely in an unsustainable path, right, in terms of just what we're doing agriculturally. 0.96

01:52:19.000 If you talk to farmers and you appreciate what they do with large-scale agriculture, you're not supposed to grow food in the same plot of land for fucking 50 years. 0.97

01:52:30.000 Corn. 0.95

01:52:31.000 And just constantly throwing minerals on the ground and constantly growing.

01:52:35.000 And then you get these minerally deficient plants.

01:52:38.000 Right.

01:52:39.000 You know, they're just not the same.

01:52:40.000 And it's just not good for...

01:52:42.000 You're not...

01:52:43.000 Yeah, the only thing it's good for is like deer.

01:52:45.000 Because deer can come by and eat all your corn whenever you want.

01:52:48.000 You get a high population of deer in the area.

01:52:50.000 You're not supposed to feed cattle corn either.

01:52:54.000 No.

01:52:55.000 It's also like wildlife is supposed to exist in wildlife habitat, which is like forests and grasslands and meadows and valleys.

01:53:05.000 And sun-fed plants.

01:53:08.000 Yeah, and they're supposed to be wandering around eating all these things.

01:53:11.000 They're not supposed to be...

01:53:15.000 We're good to go.

01:53:29.000 Yeah, like my friend Doug had this interesting thought about that.

01:53:34.000 He was like, these are...

01:53:35.000 He goes, my cows are eating grass because he has a farm.

01:53:41.000 The cows are eating...

01:53:42.000 The cows are natural, right?

01:53:45.000 They're organic.

01:53:46.000 They're eating grass.

01:53:47.000 My deer are eating GMO corn.

01:53:50.000 I go, so the deer that are on my property that are wild, the wild animals, are not organic.

01:53:56.000 That's weird.

01:53:56.000 It's so crazy.

01:53:57.000 That's so weird.

01:53:57.000 Because they're eating something that's totally unnatural for them to eat, which is GMO corn.

01:54:01.000 Corn is everywhere.

01:54:02.000 And it's GMO corn.

01:54:04.000 Because he's growing this corn that's like...

01:54:04.000 Right.

01:54:05.000 Modified.

01:54:06.000 Yeah, it's like Monsanto corn.

01:54:07.000 Right. 0.98

01:54:08.000 So he's growing this Roundup fucking sprayed corn that these deer are eating. 0.99

01:54:12.000 Jeez. 0.99

01:54:13.000 It's so bizarre.

01:54:14.000 Which is wild deer.

01:54:15.000 Yeah.

01:54:15.000 But yet, the cows that are in captivity are grazing naturally on grass, and they're 100% organic.

01:54:23.000 Jeez, that's weird.

01:54:25.000 Weird.

01:54:26.000 I was reading that whole fertilizer thing, that we weren't able to get nitrogen out of the air until this one scientist did it.

01:54:34.000 Fritz Haber.

01:54:35.000 Fritz Haber.

01:54:36.000 Yeah, that was the same guy who created Zyklon gas.

01:54:39.000 He was a Nazi, right? 0.84

01:54:40.000 No. 0.67

01:54:41.000 No, he was a Jew.

01:54:42.000 He was a Jew in Germany.

01:54:42.000 Oh, he was a Jew?

01:54:43.000 And the Nazis took it? 0.61

01:54:45.000 Well, in World War I, he was the guy who created the gas that they used to spray on the Allies. 0.75

01:54:51.000 And he actually, at the same time, he created the Haber Method for extracting nitrogen from the atmosphere, which led to...

01:54:58.000 They think that the nitrogen in people's...

01:55:00.000 There's a great Radiolab podcast on it.

01:55:02.000 I think it's called The Bad Show.

01:55:05.000 And it shows how sometimes good people also do horrible things.

01:55:10.000 And Fritz Haber was one of the ones that they highlighted.

01:55:10.000 Right.

01:55:13.000 But when they were going to give him the Nobel Prize for creating the Haber Method for extracting nitrogen from the atmosphere, the air around us is 80% nitrogen.

01:55:25.000 But you couldn't get it out.

01:55:26.000 Right, you couldn't get it out.

01:55:27.000 He figured out how to get it.

01:55:28.000 When we breathe, we think we're breathing in oxygen mostly.

01:55:31.000 No, it's mostly nitrogen and then some oxygen.

01:55:34.000 And he figured out how to get it out and turn it into fertilizer and use it Geez. 0.59

01:55:52.000 Geez.

01:55:57.000 Oh my god.

01:55:59.000 And then they used his gas for the concentration camps.

01:56:02.000 They used his gas on his family.

01:56:03.000 On his family.

01:56:04.000 Check this out.

01:56:05.000 On his extended family, because he created Zyklon gas, but he put...

01:56:10.000 And Zyklon A, there's a smell that they attached to it, so that you were aware of when the gas was present.

01:56:16.000 So like if you were working with it, if there was a leak, it was a very obvious smell.

01:56:20.000 The Nazis took Zyklon A and removed that smell and turned it to Zyklon B, which they used to spray the people in the concentration camp when they murdered the Jews.

01:56:31.000 And his family got caught?

01:56:32.000 Some of his extended family was killed with the very gas that he created.

01:56:36.000 Oh my god.

01:56:37.000 Yeah, and then he died.

01:56:39.000 He was exiled from Germany.

01:56:40.000 The whole thing was horrible.

01:56:42.000 He was a Jew. 0.99

01:56:43.000 And so he tried to stand up for Jews as scientists and as people, and it was like slowly getting pushed out as the Nazis were taking control.

01:56:50.000 Oh my God.

01:56:51.000 And then he wound up leaving the country, and he died of a heart attack.

01:56:53.000 He had terrible health.

01:56:56.000 Right.

01:56:57.000 And he died, like, I think he was going to Switzerland for treatment, and he wound up dying.

01:57:01.000 Jeez Louise.

01:57:01.000 Didn't his wife kill herself?

01:57:03.000 His wife shot herself in the chest.

01:57:06.000 In front of, well, it was him and his son, and he left his 13-year-old son with his dead wife and then went back to war.

01:57:15.000 Oh, my God.

01:57:16.000 Yeah.

01:57:17.000 She did it because? 0.98

01:57:18.000 Because he was killing people with gas.

01:57:19.000 Well, his gas was being used, right?

01:57:21.000 She was apparently gravely, she was a scientist as well.

01:57:25.000 And she was gravely upset at the direction that his science had taken, that he was involved in this new thing.

01:57:25.000 Oh.

01:57:31.000 I mean, can you imagine you're the architect of this new method of killing people? 0.97

01:57:36.000 Mass extermination.

01:57:37.000 Right, but then here's the other problem with that.

01:57:39.000 God, that's such a crazy story!

01:57:41.000 It's crazy, but what does that mean? 0.78

01:57:43.000 Like, he's too good at killing people?

01:57:45.000 Oh, we don't believe in killing people by having them choke to death on the fluid in their lungs that's built up because of poison. 1.00

01:57:52.000 We would rather you take a bullet to the dick. 1.00

01:57:54.000 Like, what the fuck? 1.00

01:57:58.000 We're in war. 1.00

01:57:58.000 Yeah, they're shooting cannons at people. 1.00

01:58:00.000 They have these gigantic 50mm guns.

01:58:03.000 They're blowing people to smithereens.

01:58:05.000 And that's okay, but the gas is not okay.

01:58:08.000 Like, we have rules for how we're supposed to kill people.

01:58:11.000 We kill the right way. 1.00

01:58:12.000 Yeah, what the fuck? 1.00

01:58:13.000 We're dropping nuclear bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. 1.00

01:58:18.000 Nuclear bombs that are completely indiscriminate, wipe out entire cities, kill hundreds of thousands of people in one blast. 0.62

01:58:24.000 That's okay.

01:58:25.000 But that's clean.

01:58:26.000 That gas, bro.

01:58:27.000 That gas is dirty. 1.00

01:58:29.000 You're an asshole to use the gas, bro. 1.00

01:58:32.000 Terrible story. 1.00

01:58:33.000 It's weird.

01:58:34.000 It's a very terrible story.

01:58:35.000 It's a weird story.

01:58:36.000 Yeah.

01:58:37.000 So they took that and that's where fertilizer came from.

01:58:40.000 You know where he went wrong?

01:58:42.000 He was trying to fund the war effort by extracting gold from the ocean.

01:58:47.000 He was convinced that just like his Haber method of extracting nitrogen from the air, he was going to be able to...

01:58:52.000 Because the ocean has gold in it.

01:58:54.000 It's very small amounts of gold, but he felt like if you could get it all together, it would be a large amount.

01:58:59.000 And he could extract that gold from the ocean and then use it to fund the war effort.

01:59:05.000 Sounds like you and I have a treasure hunt.

01:59:08.000 I think we know what to do once the bread show's done.

01:59:11.000 The gold show with Tom and Joe. 1.00

01:59:13.000 You and I with scuba gear on, fucking money bags. 0.99

01:59:18.000 The Haber gold process is unique for several reasons. 0.99

01:59:21.000 It effectively is capable of yielding extraction efficiencies with complex ores in the high 90% range with gold purity in the 99% range.

01:59:30.000 Pre-processing prior to process, we carefully analyzed the ore for the content of other minerals and ore constituents.

01:59:38.000 So is this something that they actually use?

01:59:41.000 See, maybe they use it now.

01:59:43.000 I think they use it for other things other than gold, too.

01:59:45.000 This is cyanide.

01:59:47.000 Aliminate cyanide.

01:59:48.000 He was a genius.

01:59:49.000 That's cool.

01:59:49.000 Yeah, he was a genius.

01:59:50.000 But I don't...

01:59:50.000 The gold thing didn't pan out.

01:59:52.000 Wink, wink.

01:59:53.000 Nudge, nudge.

01:59:55.000 No pun intended.

01:59:56.000 Get it?

01:59:57.000 Pan for gold?

02:00:01.000 It didn't work, but he apparently worked on that for years and years and it just never came to fruition.

02:00:07.000 That was his failure, but his big success.

02:00:10.000 He felt like he was going to recreate the nitrogen method with the gold method.

02:00:13.000 Figure out another way to just be a hero for Germany.

02:00:17.000 Amazing.

02:00:18.000 What an amazing story.

02:00:19.000 Crazy.

02:00:20.000 So now we're left with corn being fed to cows.

02:00:25.000 All our steak has corn in it.

02:00:27.000 It is awful.

02:00:29.000 But here's the thing, you know, as I read about that stuff, and, you know, you read about it's such an unnatural thing that we're doing to the cattle to feed them this corn and all this stuff.

02:00:40.000 But are we at a point where there's just so many people on the planet that this is the only way you can do it?

02:00:45.000 Or is there other ways to do it?

02:00:47.000 Maybe.

02:00:48.000 I'm going to read you something, because people are always complaining about the methane gas that's produced by cows, and that was one of the big arguments that people would say.

02:00:56.000 One of the reasons why people should not eat cows is because if you do eat cows, like say if you're on that carnivore diet and all you eat is cows, it has a massive negative contribution to the environment.

02:01:09.000 Right.

02:01:10.000 But Sean Baker sent me this scientific overview, and it says, in the environmental side of the United States, the entirety of all plants and animal agriculture contributes to 9% of the total U.S. greenhouse gas emissions.

02:01:24.000 Animal agriculture makes up about 4%, and cattle specifically about...

02:01:31.000 1.9% based on the latest EPA data.

02:01:35.000 If every single person in the United States gives up eating meat and went vegan and every single animal were to magically disappear, the overall worldwide effect on greenhouse gas emissions would be about less than 1% difference.

02:01:51.000 He said he spoke with Professor Frank Interesting.

02:02:16.000 Interesting.

02:02:17.000 But there's a lot that goes, it's not just the gas that's coming off of, right?

02:02:21.000 Well, this is the methane question.

02:02:23.000 Right.

02:02:24.000 You know, the real concern that keeps coming up.

02:02:28.000 Like, I had this lady on yesterday, and she's on this carnivore diet, which it seems to me that she's got, she had some, she has massive autoimmune issues. 1.00

02:02:37.000 Like, had her hip replaced when she was 17, had her ankle replaced, like, massive arthritis issues.

02:02:43.000 And she's on this diet of all meat.

02:02:45.000 And several other people are on this diet as well.

02:02:47.000 They're calling it the carnivore diet.

02:02:48.000 They're experiencing, at least for the short term, they're experiencing these tremendous benefits.

02:02:52.000 So the critics are saying, you're contributing to greenhouse gases and methane.

02:02:56.000 You're ruining the environment by eating beef.

02:02:59.000 And he's saying, well, not really.

02:03:01.000 The amount is very small in comparison to all the other issues.

02:03:06.000 It's like less than 1% of the greenhouse gases.

02:03:09.000 But then they also hear on that argument that it's really oil that is being used, right?

02:03:14.000 It's still a carbon-based thing to transport the food.

02:03:21.000 From the farming all the way through the transporting to getting rid of the waste, to doing all of it, that there's...

02:03:26.000 For now, but Tesla's making semis. 0.66

02:03:30.000 They're constructing these gigantic, super cool-looking fucking Tron semis that they're going to operate entirely on batteries. 0.70

02:03:38.000 And once that happens, you have automated, battery-controlled trucks. 0.93

02:03:43.000 Then I think the real problem is going to be people out of jobs.

02:03:46.000 That's going to be a giant crisis.

02:03:48.000 The robots.

02:03:49.000 Yeah.

02:03:50.000 Especially for drivers.

02:03:51.000 Apparently, for men in particular, some massive number in the millions of people in this country rely on driving for a living.

02:04:00.000 That's a big part of their job.

02:04:02.000 They're drivers.

02:04:03.000 It's a giant industry.

02:04:06.000 Well, they say that's happening now across all industries.

02:04:09.000 Automation.

02:04:10.000 Yeah, that automation is putting so many people out of work.

02:04:13.000 Yeah, I'm going to talk to Bernie Sanders about that.

02:04:15.000 Oh, yeah.

02:04:15.000 Are you?

02:04:16.000 No way.

02:04:17.000 Oh, yeah.

02:04:17.000 Me and Bernie have been emailing each other.

02:04:19.000 Really?

02:04:19.000 Bernie, that would be a great one.

02:04:21.000 Joe!

02:04:22.000 Joe!

02:04:23.000 I'd like to talk to that guy.

02:04:24.000 Yeah.

02:04:25.000 Well, I also want to talk to other people that are proponents of universal basic income.

02:04:30.000 And Elon has said that he thinks that this is going to be a real factor in the future, universal basic income.

02:04:36.000 So this is a Tesla truck that we're looking at right now in a video, which looks like a rolling Apple store.

02:04:41.000 It's from yesterday in Iowa.

02:04:41.000 Is anyone in that?

02:04:43.000 They showed it off.

02:04:45.000 That's crazy.

02:04:46.000 26 cameras on board.

02:04:47.000 That's so dope.

02:04:48.000 Where's the batteries?

02:04:50.000 Is that in the bottom?

02:04:51.000 Is the bottom the batteries?

02:04:52.000 Is that driving itself?

02:04:54.000 Or is there someone driving that?

02:04:55.000 No, the trailer is all batteries.

02:04:59.000 You have to strap all your packages to the roof.

02:05:02.000 The interesting thing is the price.

02:05:03.000 The price is supposed to be around $200,000.

02:05:05.000 For one of those?

02:05:06.000 Yeah.

02:05:06.000 Dude, this is what we do.

02:05:07.000 We buy one of those bitches and we turn it into a roving podcast studio. 1.00

02:05:11.000 It drives us across the country. 0.99

02:05:13.000 That would be the coolest. 1.00

02:05:14.000 We talk shit in the back. 0.99

02:05:16.000 Wait, it's driving on its own or there is a human driving it? 1.00

02:05:19.000 That one had a human driving it.

02:05:20.000 I don't believe these are in production yet.

02:05:22.000 What is he chasing off? 0.98

02:05:24.000 Look at that dork chasing it. 1.00

02:05:24.000 Prototype. 1.00

02:05:25.000 I gotta get a selfie!

02:05:27.000 Hey, is that a teflot truck? 0.97

02:05:27.000 Yo, I'm trying to get a selfie! 0.97

02:05:30.000 I'm chasing the truck!

02:05:32.000 I'm gonna get a selfie!

02:05:33.000 I'm gonna run!

02:05:34.000 At the end, he's running.

02:05:35.000 He's like, I can run too!

02:05:39.000 That is the coolest.

02:05:40.000 I had a gig up in, a last minute gig in Yosemite.

02:05:44.000 There's a casino up there to open for Smokey Robinson.

02:05:48.000 Wow.

02:05:49.000 What was that like?

02:05:50.000 It was the coolest.

02:05:51.000 Did you meet him?

02:05:52.000 I met him once before.

02:05:52.000 I did meet him.

02:05:53.000 There's actually a cool story about meeting him, but I was going to take the Tesla up.

02:06:00.000 You ran out of juice?

02:06:01.000 Yeah, I was trying to plot.

02:06:03.000 Will I be able to do it? 1.00

02:06:05.000 Get rid of that piece of shit. 1.00

02:06:06.000 No problem. 1.00

02:06:07.000 No problem. 1.00

02:06:08.000 Fuck out of here. 1.00

02:06:08.000 They're everywhere now. 1.00

02:06:09.000 Supercharger near Fresno.

02:06:11.000 Oh yeah, just plan out eight hours in advance. 1.00

02:06:12.000 You can pull over for eight hours and let your shit charge up. 1.00

02:06:15.000 No. 1.00

02:06:15.000 What a good move. 1.00

02:06:16.000 It factors in that you're only going to need 20 minutes of charge or 30 minutes of charge. 1.00

02:06:20.000 Fuck out of here. 1.00

02:06:21.000 I'm telling you, I did it. 1.00

02:06:22.000 Fuck out of here. 1.00

02:06:23.000 You're stopping for 20 minutes at a time? 1.00

02:06:25.000 Yeah, well, if you stop and pee and get a coffee.

02:06:28.000 Read a book.

02:06:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:06:30.000 Take a shit. 1.00

02:06:31.000 Go over your Twitter feed. 1.00

02:06:33.000 The car's out there charging.

02:06:34.000 Get out of here, man.

02:06:35.000 It was great. 1.00

02:06:36.000 Get a goddamn car like a man. 1.00

02:06:37.000 It was so great. 1.00

02:06:38.000 Get a Mustang.

02:06:39.000 Need something with some rumble to it.

02:06:40.000 It was such a nice drive.

02:06:42.000 Don't you have a midlife crisis or something to attend to?

02:06:45.000 Going through the prairie of Yosemite at sunrise.

02:06:50.000 What if your bread show takes off?

02:06:51.000 Get yourself a Corvette.

02:06:54.000 Are you laughing?

02:06:54.000 You would never drive a Corvette?

02:06:56.000 If you had to drive...

02:06:57.000 It's so funny.

02:06:58.000 That's such an East Coast life dream.

02:07:03.000 Tony Hinchcliffe got a Corvette.

02:07:05.000 Did he really?

02:07:05.000 Yeah, he calls himself.

02:07:06.000 He says he has Corvette confidence.

02:07:08.000 When I text him, I text him, hashtag Corvette confidence.

02:07:13.000 But for real, when you drive a car that's fun, he's like, dude, I drive it to work.

02:07:18.000 It's a game changer.

02:07:19.000 He goes, as I'm driving to the comedy store, I get fired up.

02:07:22.000 It's fast.

02:07:23.000 He goes, especially to the ice house because it's further away.

02:07:23.000 It rumbles.

02:07:26.000 I get that car.

02:07:29.000 I have a VW Bug that's just... 1.00

02:07:32.000 Shut your mouth. 1.00

02:07:33.000 Don't ever compare a VW Bug to a fucking Corvette. 1.00

02:07:38.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

02:07:39.000 Just having the engine and you're shifting and the smell of gas, it does something to you, for sure. 1.00

02:07:44.000 I'm just kidding.

02:07:44.000 No, I love VW bugs.

02:07:45.000 They're very mechanical.

02:07:46.000 Do you have an old one?

02:07:48.000 67. Oh, those are the real ones.

02:07:50.000 Yeah, it's beautiful.

02:07:51.000 A little sewing machine in the back.

02:07:54.000 It's fun.

02:07:55.000 They're so light, too.

02:07:56.000 Yeah.

02:07:56.000 You know what they've done with those?

02:07:58.000 They've taken those old VW bugs and put an old Porsche engine in the back.

02:08:02.000 I know, there's a lot of people doing that.

02:08:04.000 With the buses, too.

02:08:05.000 Yeah, so they put like a 170 horsepower old Porsche engine, which doesn't seem like a lot.

02:08:10.000 170 horsepower is not a lot, but the car weighs nothing.

02:08:13.000 Yeah, with the gas tanking in the front of your car.

02:08:16.000 And you've got those little tiny skinny-ass tires on it, too, so they spin out all over the place.

02:08:20.000 I think the beauty of it is that you have the original engine and you're just kind of puttering along.

02:08:24.000 But everyone gets annoyed.

02:08:25.000 It's like a slow clown car.

02:08:27.000 People cut you off just to get around you.

02:08:30.000 They just don't even want to look at you.

02:08:31.000 In this day and age, I mean, you think about how fast Teslas are.

02:08:34.000 Oh, my God.

02:08:35.000 Those things are unbelievably fast.

02:08:37.000 It's another sensation.

02:08:39.000 It's definitely satisfying.

02:08:41.000 It's not that gasp.

02:08:42.000 But there's a...

02:08:43.000 I'm telling you, the sunrise was coming up and I'm just...

02:08:47.000 Silent, no other cars around, just going through this prairie.

02:08:50.000 Going to meet Smokey Robinson.

02:08:51.000 Let me stop for an hour and a half to get some electricity.

02:08:54.000 Ooh, I can drive for two hours now.

02:08:55.000 Pull over.

02:08:57.000 How much time do you have to plan out just for charging?

02:08:57.000 Stop.

02:09:00.000 Extra five hours?

02:09:01.000 I spent a good day trying to figure out my route.

02:09:05.000 No, but here's the rock star move.

02:09:07.000 I had met Smokey once before in New York.

02:09:10.000 We did a charity for kids in the arts.

02:09:13.000 Kid rock.

02:09:14.000 Kids rock or something.

02:09:16.000 Kids Who Rock or School of Rock, something like that.

02:09:18.000 Anyway, I'd met him before, so I was excited to take the gig, and I figured I'll meet Smokey Robinson.

02:09:23.000 It's an outdoor arena.

02:09:24.000 You know, it's an outdoor event.

02:09:26.000 And they just used me to burn time while the sun went down so that he could come out at nighttime.

02:09:32.000 And so I'm sitting there with a guy that I'm just talking to and Smokey comes out of, you know, our dressing rooms are trailers because it's outside in this gravel driveway and stuff.

02:09:41.000 And Smokey comes out.

02:09:43.000 He's like 78 now.

02:09:45.000 He's in all red, red jumpsuit, red cool jacket, red leather boots.

02:09:50.000 And he comes out and I'm like, all right, I'll get to say hi to Smokey.

02:09:55.000 The SUV door opens, he goes right into this SUV. And he drives literally 20 feet and drops them off at the stage so he could go right up onto the stage.

02:10:05.000 He didn't even want to get his boots dirty on the gravel walkway.

02:10:10.000 Is that what it was?

02:10:11.000 Yeah, so they literally put him in this SUV. I'm telling you, from here to the end of your studio, they just dropped him off and he went right up on stage like that.

02:10:19.000 That's Smokey!

02:10:20.000 That is a kick-ass rockstar move. 0.68

02:10:23.000 That's if you don't want to keep your, you know, you won't want to get your boots dirty.

02:10:27.000 It's a good move.

02:10:28.000 Yeah, comedians don't think that way.

02:10:29.000 No.

02:10:30.000 I'm walking in my dress shoes across the thing. 1.00

02:10:32.000 Yeah, you just get them all dirty and fucked up. 0.99

02:10:34.000 I feel like I'm one of the people that way. 0.99

02:10:36.000 Yeah, right, exactly.

02:10:37.000 We're not rockstars.

02:10:38.000 Yeah, rockstar's a different thing, man.

02:10:40.000 Totally.

02:10:41.000 Totally.

02:10:41.000 Especially that, that kind of smooth...

02:10:43.000 This guy's been a rockstar for a long time.

02:10:46.000 Forever.

02:10:47.000 My parents were listening to him when they were teenagers, you know?

02:10:50.000 I mean, that's a long time that he's been, still has the voice, still has the cool moves.

02:10:55.000 Is he, like, healthy?

02:10:57.000 The way he can move well?

02:10:57.000 Yeah.

02:10:58.000 Totally.

02:10:58.000 Wow, that's amazing.

02:10:59.000 And he's got this really cool, like...

02:11:01.000 Does he exercise?

02:11:02.000 Did you talk to him at all?

02:11:03.000 I would like to talk to someone that's that old, that's been around for that long.

02:11:03.000 I didn't, no.

02:11:07.000 Like, Mick Jagger, apparently, is just an exercise fanatic.

02:11:11.000 Yeah, that's what I heard.

02:11:12.000 Yeah, he exercises twice a day.

02:11:14.000 And he realizes this is the only way.

02:11:14.000 Yeah.

02:11:15.000 The only way he can keep this up.

02:11:17.000 Amazing.

02:11:18.000 I mean, he's in his 70s.

02:11:19.000 The only way his body's going to maintain health is he's got to consistently exercise.

02:11:24.000 So funny that he's next to Keith.

02:11:26.000 It's hilarious.

02:11:26.000 I know.

02:11:27.000 Who's the total opposite way to go.

02:11:29.000 The miracles.

02:11:30.000 Look at him.

02:11:31.000 Smokey.

02:11:31.000 Yeah, wow.

02:11:32.000 1965. 65. That picture's from 65?

02:11:35.000 Already a star.

02:11:37.000 That's amazing.

02:11:38.000 God.

02:11:39.000 What does he look like today?

02:11:40.000 Very similar.

02:11:41.000 Google Smokey Robinson in 2018. Is that him?

02:11:44.000 Well, that's Tony Bennett in Lady Gaga, so that's probably serious.

02:11:47.000 Yeah, that's...

02:11:47.000 Go to that picture.

02:11:48.000 Make that picture bigger. 0.94

02:11:50.000 He looks pretty goddamn good for 70. Looks good. 0.95

02:11:52.000 Lady Gaga looks smokin'. 0.93

02:11:54.000 Yeah.

02:11:55.000 She looks like she's gonna be great in that movie. 1.00

02:11:57.000 Sometimes you forget how hot she is. 0.99

02:11:59.000 She's in New Stars Born.

02:12:02.000 Somebody tell me she wasn't hot. 1.00

02:12:03.000 I'm like, bitch, you're out of your mind. 1.00

02:12:04.000 She's a talent. 1.00

02:12:05.000 If you were in Lady Gaga, you tell me you wouldn't smash...

02:12:07.000 You ever see those videos of her when she was in NYU or something, just starting out?

02:12:12.000 No.

02:12:12.000 She's super talented.

02:12:14.000 Totally.

02:12:15.000 In a weird way, right?

02:12:16.000 Yeah, well, her own way.

02:12:18.000 Yeah.

02:12:19.000 Yeah, she's amazing. 1.00

02:12:21.000 Powerful Smokey Robinson.

02:12:22.000 Look at Smokey.

02:12:24.000 Yeah, we don't have any comics that are that old right now.

02:12:28.000 Rickles.

02:12:29.000 Dead.

02:12:30.000 Yeah, once George Carlin died, he was like our last great touring stand-up that was, you know, of that age from the 60s.

02:12:38.000 Yeah.

02:12:39.000 No one else is like that that's still around.

02:12:41.000 No.

02:12:43.000 Joan Rivers gone.

02:12:44.000 Rickles gone.

02:12:45.000 You know who is?

02:12:48.000 Bob Newhart.

02:12:49.000 Bob Newhart's doing stand-up?

02:12:51.000 Yep, still doing gigs.

02:12:52.000 Did he take a long time off and start doing them again or something?

02:12:55.000 No, he just would always kind of quietly do it.

02:12:57.000 Really?

02:12:58.000 No kidding.

02:12:59.000 I've never seen him.

02:12:59.000 Have you seen him?

02:13:00.000 And I actually, he was on Conan the other night.

02:13:02.000 And I was going to try and get tickets to see him in the Palm Desert.

02:13:06.000 Burr and I were planning on going to see Cosby before the scandal broke.

02:13:10.000 Yeah.

02:13:10.000 Oh, yeah?

02:13:11.000 Because we were talking to him one night at the store, and we'd always heard how good he is.

02:13:16.000 Yeah.

02:13:16.000 You gotta go see him.

02:13:17.000 You gotta go see him. 1.00

02:13:18.000 Like Chris Rockett said, dude, he fucking killed. 0.99

02:13:20.000 He killed for two hours. 1.00

02:13:21.000 He went on stage with no opening act.

02:13:24.000 He just walks out there, and he starts talking, and he just starts crushing.

02:13:24.000 Yeah.

02:13:27.000 And he goes, I was blown away.

02:13:29.000 Yeah.

02:13:30.000 Chris Rock was saying this.

02:13:31.000 He goes, I went to see him. 0.99

02:13:32.000 I was like, God damn, man, I'm an amateur. 0.99

02:13:34.000 And I was like, wow. 0.99

02:13:36.000 And I was like, all right, we should go.

02:13:37.000 So Burr and I were planning.

02:13:39.000 And something came out.

02:13:40.000 We had to cancel.

02:13:40.000 And then right after that, something big came up.

02:13:45.000 The scandal went down.

02:13:47.000 They were like, oh, God.

02:13:49.000 That's terrible.

02:13:50.000 Bill saw him, though.

02:13:51.000 Bill went and saw him.

02:13:51.000 I saw him.

02:13:52.000 I saw him...

02:13:53.000 My wife was pregnant with our first baby.

02:13:57.000 And we had...

02:13:58.000 I was doing Conan.

02:13:59.000 And then I was going to have two weeks off before the baby was born.

02:14:02.000 That was going to be the last gig I did.

02:14:05.000 We're going to take two weeks off and just hang out before this new baby came.

02:14:09.000 We're living in New York.

02:14:10.000 And we went to see Cosby.

02:14:13.000 Seinfeld took us to see Cosby at Carnegie Hall.

02:14:16.000 Wow.

02:14:17.000 And we laughed for two hours.

02:14:19.000 It was a master class.

02:14:21.000 He was...

02:14:22.000 So good, so easy, and we just laughed forever and went home and her water broke.

02:14:29.000 Oh, wow.

02:14:30.000 Yeah, we always felt like all that laughing kind of made her water break.

02:14:34.000 But it was definitely impressive.

02:14:37.000 Impressive.

02:14:38.000 You know what was impressive about it?

02:14:40.000 He would tell these stories and build it without laughs.

02:14:45.000 There would be like very few laughs for like 10 minutes as he's telling the story and you didn't realize even as a comic that he was building this tension so when the laugh did come It was bigger than any laugh you've ever heard.

02:15:02.000 I mean, he would just, it was the building of it.

02:15:04.000 He's the confidence to not feel like he had to go from laugh to laugh to laugh every 30 seconds.

02:15:10.000 He would just let it build, let it build, and then it would ba-boom!

02:15:14.000 It would explode.

02:15:15.000 I wonder if there's recordings of him later in life, like before the scandal broke, like when he was in his 70s.

02:15:21.000 Because I think now it would be impossible.

02:15:25.000 Like if you go to see him, I know he's not performing now, but if he was, it would be impossible.

02:15:29.000 I wouldn't want to go.

02:15:30.000 It's like so gross and so tainted.

02:15:34.000 Yeah, it's a shame.

02:15:35.000 It's so crazy.

02:15:37.000 You'd have to watch him almost like a scientist and observe him before.

02:15:42.000 I wonder if you would think about it, too. 1.00

02:15:43.000 Like, now, if you watch it, even if you watch the recording, you'd be watching it thinking, I wonder if he, right now, in the back of his mind, he's like, holy shit, I'm a rapist. 0.99

02:15:52.000 And they don't know. 0.99

02:15:54.000 I know.

02:15:54.000 You know what I mean?

02:15:55.000 I haven't looked at anything that he's done since then.

02:15:57.000 I mean, you know, that's such a...

02:16:01.000 He was trying to make a public relations comeback last year.

02:16:01.000 Ugh.

02:16:06.000 He did...

02:16:08.000 See if you find a video of Bill Cosby holding court in a barbershop.

02:16:13.000 In Philly.

02:16:14.000 He was at a barbershop in Philly and they were talking about jazz musicians and he was giving them trivia questions.

02:16:22.000 These barbershop people and jazz musicians.

02:16:25.000 Then I was reading the comments and the comments were like, we love you, Bill.

02:16:29.000 We believe you, Bill. 1.00

02:16:30.000 You know, those accusers are assholes. 1.00

02:16:33.000 There he is. 1.00

02:16:34.000 Look at this.

02:16:35.000 Give me some volume.

02:16:37.000 Maybe bass is on bass.

02:16:39.000 Maybe bass is on bass.

02:16:41.000 You're making up these people.

02:16:42.000 No, I'm fine.

02:16:43.000 Because you don't have your glasses.

02:16:45.000 No, I'm trying to tell you.

02:16:47.000 Eddie told him that I take a two hour shower.

02:16:49.000 No, you told me.

02:16:52.000 But I said, he said this, Dr. Cosby.

02:16:54.000 I said that once I take my shower, I'm one of those people that wipe the shower down.

02:17:00.000 I don't want the water running on the towel.

02:17:02.000 I don't want the mildew.

02:17:03.000 I want the shower to be clean and dry when I get out of it.

02:17:07.000 Obviously, sir, but obviously you live alone.

02:17:12.000 Yes, sir.

02:17:15.000 So you have to clean up, as my father would say, behind your own mess.

02:17:20.000 Yes, sir.

02:17:21.000 Even when I was married, I did the same thing.

02:17:24.000 Everybody in the house at a certain age can all independently take care of our own.

02:17:28.000 And did they all leave unanimously?

02:17:31.000 When they left, they could stay on their own.

02:17:34.000 It's weird to watch him.

02:17:35.000 Your wife as well?

02:17:36.000 He's wearing that hello friend.

02:17:38.000 He would wear that on stage.

02:17:42.000 He would wear sweaters that say hello friend.

02:17:44.000 He started saying that dressing up on stage was a crutch.

02:17:48.000 So sometimes he would come out with just like his Birkenstocks and just take them off.

02:17:52.000 He'd just be in his socks.

02:17:53.000 He thought that being dressed up was like putting on too much of a show.

02:17:57.000 That you should rely purely on the spoken word of it.

02:18:01.000 Well, I mean, I don't buy that.

02:18:05.000 I certainly don't buy you telling other people how they should do it.

02:18:10.000 I mean, there's a bunch of ways to do it.

02:18:13.000 Well, of course.

02:18:14.000 If he wants to be comfortable on stage, wear a Hello Friends sweatshirt, that's fine.

02:18:18.000 But he was big at telling people how they're supposed to live, right?

02:18:21.000 Well, that was so ironic.

02:18:23.000 That's so ironic about it. 1.00

02:18:24.000 Because Eddie Murphy, first of all, would go on stage with fucking leather jumpsuits on. 1.00

02:18:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:18:29.000 Like bright red leather jumpsuits unzipped down to the navel. 0.99

02:18:33.000 And then Cosby would attack him because he dropped F-bombs.

02:18:33.000 Yeah.

02:18:37.000 But meanwhile.

02:18:38.000 Yeah.

02:18:38.000 But meanwhile.

02:18:39.000 It's crazy. 0.93

02:18:40.000 So gross. 0.95

02:18:41.000 So gross. 1.00

02:18:42.000 Well, hypocrites, man. 1.00

02:18:44.000 I know. 1.00

02:18:44.000 It's just strange like that kind of a hypocrite, like telling you how to live your life while they're raping people. 1.00

02:18:49.000 And how crazy how many women had to come out before it started to fall? 1.00

02:18:53.000 How crazy is that Hannibal started it all off?

02:18:55.000 Right. 0.99

02:18:56.000 Fucking our buddy Hannibal. 0.99

02:18:57.000 Hannibal just did a show somewhere and talked about it on stage and somebody recorded it. 0.99

02:19:02.000 Yeah.

02:19:03.000 And then people are like, wait, Bill Cosby rapes people? 0.95

02:19:05.000 Yeah. 0.96

02:19:06.000 You didn't hear?

02:19:06.000 Right.

02:19:07.000 And then like wildfire spreads through the culture. 0.98

02:19:10.000 But how crazy that it didn't take just one woman saying he raped you. 0.89

02:19:13.000 It had to be like 16. Well, he had settled a bunch of cases.

02:19:18.000 He settled them, closed the story, sealed the records.

02:19:24.000 Paid millions.

02:19:25.000 Paid millions.

02:19:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:19:26.000 Really?

02:19:27.000 And now he's suing one of the women who's testifying against him because she's violating the hush payment.

02:19:34.000 Oh, right.

02:19:36.000 Darkness. 0.99

02:19:37.000 So sick of everybody else's sex. 0.99

02:19:39.000 The Hello Friend is a nod to his son that was murdered. 0.99

02:19:43.000 It's a memorial to him.

02:19:46.000 Oh, jeez.

02:19:47.000 There's an article I just found from a long time ago, like 1993, that he made a jazz album dedicated to him called Hello Friend.

02:19:54.000 Oh, God.

02:19:55.000 Do they ever find who killed his son and why?

02:19:57.000 Yeah, I think they did.

02:19:59.000 Like his car broke down, right?

02:20:01.000 Yeah, like by the 405 or something, right?

02:20:03.000 Yeah, and he was like getting out to fix it and someone killed him.

02:20:06.000 Was it just a random crime or was it robbery?

02:20:11.000 I think it was.

02:20:12.000 It was a robbery attempt, it says.

02:20:13.000 Robbery attempt.

02:20:13.000 Yeah.

02:20:14.000 Did he have a nice car or something?

02:20:16.000 I think he had a Mercedes.

02:20:18.000 Ugh, it's so terrible.

02:20:20.000 What a tragedy.

02:20:21.000 An American tragedy.

02:20:22.000 He's an American tragedy straight up across the board, top to bottom.

02:20:26.000 He was so beloved in Fat Albert and the Cosby Show and the stand-up.

02:20:32.000 The strangest thing is hearing that guy call him Dr. Cosby.

02:20:35.000 Like, dude, you ain't a doctor anymore.

02:20:35.000 Yeah.

02:20:37.000 Yeah, they think they all took him. 1.00

02:20:38.000 They took that shit back. 1.00

02:20:39.000 Like, everyone. 1.00

02:20:40.000 Yeah.

02:20:41.000 It was an honorary doctorate, right?

02:20:43.000 Yeah, right.

02:20:44.000 From different schools.

02:20:45.000 Oh.

02:20:46.000 Temple and, yeah.

02:20:47.000 Yeah.

02:20:48.000 If they gave you an honorary doctorate, would you call yourself Dr. Papa?

02:20:52.000 Yeah.

02:20:52.000 Would you?

02:20:54.000 No.

02:20:54.000 I'm a minister.

02:20:56.000 Me too.

02:20:56.000 Are you?

02:20:57.000 I'm doing Rachel Feinstein's wedding. 1.00

02:20:58.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:21:00.000 Next Saturday. 1.00

02:21:01.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:21:02.000 My fourth one. 1.00

02:21:04.000 Really?

02:21:04.000 You've done four?

02:21:05.000 That's beautiful.

02:21:05.000 Yeah.

02:21:06.000 I marry people.

02:21:07.000 Congratulations.

02:21:08.000 Yeah, it's a good thing.

02:21:09.000 Yeah.

02:21:10.000 It's really great.

02:21:11.000 I actually do really love it.

02:21:13.000 It becomes very real very fast.

02:21:15.000 You know, I spend a lot of time writing it.

02:21:17.000 But once you're up there and two people are coming and you're doing it, it's like, this is a big deal.

02:21:24.000 This is special.

02:21:26.000 This is going to be unique.

02:21:28.000 Unless they get divorced. 0.86

02:21:29.000 It's pretty great.

02:21:30.000 And then it becomes a disaster.

02:21:31.000 No one that I married is divorced.

02:21:33.000 Oh, maybe get the magic touch, bro.

02:21:35.000 Maybe you're the secret.

02:21:35.000 Yeah, maybe.

02:21:37.000 Stopping the divorce rate of 50% in America.

02:21:40.000 That's right.

02:21:41.000 What did Chris Rock have a joke about? 0.99

02:21:42.000 He goes, and that's just the people who have the balls to leave. 0.99

02:21:46.000 He goes, what about the cowards who stay and suffer? 0.99

02:21:50.000 This is Chris before he was divorced, which is kind of hilarious.

02:21:54.000 Oh, really?

02:21:55.000 Because once he got divorced, he got taken.

02:21:59.000 Oh, really?

02:22:01.000 Taken.

02:22:01.000 I don't think he had a prenup.

02:22:03.000 So he went down hard.

02:22:04.000 He was on stage.

02:22:05.000 He goes, my wife made more money last year doing comedy than Dave Chappelle.

02:22:11.000 Great line. 0.99

02:22:14.000 That was fucking rough, man. 0.99

02:22:16.000 That's rough. 1.00

02:22:17.000 That's really rough.

02:22:19.000 Yeah.

02:22:20.000 Or more money from comedy, you said.

02:22:23.000 Oh, jeez Louise.

02:22:25.000 Tough times out there for people.

02:22:27.000 Gotta be funny.

02:22:28.000 Just enjoy your life.

02:22:30.000 Make some bread.

02:22:31.000 Make some bread.

02:22:32.000 Celebrate with your family.

02:22:34.000 Come on, get a little cabin in the woods.

02:22:36.000 A little salted butter, a little sour dough.

02:22:38.000 Come on! 0.61

02:22:39.000 Come on, little Vitos.

02:22:40.000 Little sticky buns.

02:22:42.000 Why not?

02:22:43.000 How many episodes are you doing to your show?

02:22:43.000 Enjoy your life.

02:22:45.000 We did eight.

02:22:46.000 Ah.

02:22:47.000 Eight.

02:22:48.000 And did you have any say over what cities you chose?

02:22:50.000 Yeah.

02:22:51.000 Yeah.

02:22:51.000 Where'd you go?

02:22:52.000 We went to New York, we went to Detroit, Los Angeles, New Orleans, Cleveland, Philly.

02:23:04.000 All good places.

02:23:05.000 Nice.

02:23:06.000 All good.

02:23:06.000 We go in and you just meet these bakers, these people that are baking stuff and making amazing stuff.

02:23:11.000 We do like four or five stops in each city.

02:23:13.000 And they're all just great people.

02:23:15.000 They're just fun families, just, you know, making cakes and feeding the community.

02:23:21.000 It's great.

02:23:22.000 And did you do them like with your friends in these towns?

02:23:25.000 Like if you knew comedians that were in the town?

02:23:27.000 Did you have them come with you?

02:23:28.000 No.

02:23:28.000 Just you and the bakers?

02:23:30.000 Gaffigan came in New York to this donut shop and he was the only friend that came this season.

02:23:35.000 But I'd like to do more of that.

02:23:36.000 That would be fun.

02:23:37.000 Now, you're friends with Seinfeld.

02:23:39.000 Uh-huh.

02:23:40.000 And he's a crazy Porsche fanatic.

02:23:42.000 Yeah.

02:23:42.000 Did he ever try to get you to buy a Porsche?

02:23:43.000 Big time Porsche. 0.93

02:23:44.000 No.

02:23:45.000 No, he kind of like knows I'm not really that big of a car guy.

02:23:49.000 Have you ever driven one?

02:23:50.000 I did.

02:23:50.000 He let me drive one once.

02:23:52.000 What kind did you drive?

02:23:52.000 Because I've never driven it.

02:23:53.000 It was like a million dollar car.

02:23:55.000 It was like a...

02:23:57.000 Blue nine-something S. And it was just in traffic around Santa Monica.

02:24:02.000 It was really a bummer.

02:24:03.000 Was it annoying?

02:24:04.000 It was a million-dollar car?

02:24:06.000 Yeah.

02:24:07.000 Jesus.

02:24:07.000 Yeah.

02:24:08.000 What is a million-dollar car?

02:24:09.000 The same as another car, but they only made one of it.

02:24:12.000 Oh, it was an older car?

02:24:14.000 Yeah, it was like from the 70s, I think.

02:24:16.000 Or 80s.

02:24:17.000 And they'd only made like, this was like the second one or something.

02:24:20.000 But no, it's like if I was into it, he'd get on me and stuff.

02:24:26.000 But you were only driving it around Santa Monica.

02:24:28.000 Like if you could get it on an open road.

02:24:31.000 It would be amazing.

02:24:32.000 Yeah.

02:24:33.000 Do you have a Porsche?

02:24:33.000 Yeah, I got one out there right now if you want to drive it.

02:24:35.000 Oh, you do?

02:24:37.000 I got a race car.

02:24:38.000 That white one up there? 0.75

02:24:40.000 See that one?

02:24:41.000 Oh yeah, I've seen that.

02:24:42.000 It was Jerry Seinfeld.

02:24:43.000 I've seen that at the store.

02:24:46.000 That's not what you drove.

02:24:47.000 That 356 is not.

02:24:48.000 No.

02:24:48.000 That's not a million dollar car.

02:24:49.000 And that Speedster's not a million dollar car.

02:24:52.000 It was probably a 911S. It was blue.

02:24:55.000 It's probably a 911S from the 70s.

02:24:59.000 Those are worth a lot of money right now.

02:25:01.000 An RS. Oh yeah?

02:25:03.000 Yeah, like that one that he's got above.

02:25:05.000 Scroll down.

02:25:06.000 That white one. 0.61

02:25:07.000 The white one.

02:25:08.000 Oh, that they couldn't get in the country for a while, right? 1.00

02:25:10.000 The white one.

02:25:11.000 The white one right there.

02:25:12.000 There you go.

02:25:13.000 Yeah.

02:25:13.000 That one.

02:25:14.000 Wow.

02:25:14.000 That's a very valuable car.

02:25:16.000 Yeah.

02:25:16.000 That's an S or an RS from...

02:25:20.000 That's funny.

02:25:21.000 Woman backed into Jerry Seinfeld. 1.00

02:25:22.000 Did she?

02:25:23.000 She backed into the car? 0.61

02:25:25.000 Yeah.

02:25:26.000 3.35.

02:25:28.000 3.35 what?

02:25:30.000 Million?

02:25:30.000 Yeah.

02:25:31.000 Jeez.

02:25:31.000 Oh, my God.

02:25:32.000 Yeah, well, you know, when Mustangs are going for $500,000...

02:25:38.000 Well, it says...

02:25:39.000 No, no, no, Jamie.

02:25:40.000 Oh, I'm sorry.

02:25:40.000 It says worth between...

02:25:43.000 $14,000 and $3.35 million for cars.

02:25:47.000 Right.

02:25:47.000 Yeah, so some lady's just backing up.

02:25:49.000 I wasn't looking.

02:25:50.000 Sorry, it's just a car.

02:25:51.000 What's the big deal?

02:25:52.000 That one in the right-hand corner is a million-dollar car.

02:25:55.000 Below that, the upper right-hand, that one right there, that's a 918. Is that the one you drove?

02:26:00.000 Yeah, it looks like that.

02:26:01.000 Okay.

02:26:02.000 Yeah, that's a 918. That's the electric.

02:26:04.000 Is that you, Tom Pompin?

02:26:05.000 No.

02:26:06.000 Look, it looks like me.

02:26:07.000 That is a blue car.

02:26:08.000 That is an amazing car.

02:26:10.000 That's a 918 hybrid.

02:26:12.000 That wasn't it.

02:26:12.000 Ridiculously fast car.

02:26:14.000 But that's not interesting to you, huh?

02:26:16.000 Amazing.

02:26:16.000 That's just a Boxster.

02:26:18.000 No, I get into it.

02:26:19.000 I just don't know.

02:26:21.000 You've got to spend time digesting that or growing up with it, and I didn't have that.

02:26:26.000 I like it.

02:26:26.000 I appreciate it.

02:26:27.000 I had a 944 poster in my room.

02:26:32.000 I remember those.

02:26:33.000 Fun engine.

02:26:33.000 Yeah.

02:26:34.000 Yeah, and those weren't the best Porsches, but that's what I kind of got excited about.

02:26:41.000 It's a cool car.

02:26:41.000 A lot of people like that.

02:26:41.000 Yeah, it was fun.

02:26:42.000 They're very well balanced.

02:26:43.000 Oh, yeah.

02:26:43.000 A friend of mine drove those on a racetrack.

02:26:45.000 Oh, yeah?

02:26:45.000 Yeah, I used to race those.

02:26:46.000 Nice.

02:26:47.000 Yeah, because it's a very balanced car.

02:26:49.000 Right.

02:26:50.000 He's so deep into it.

02:26:52.000 It's like his thing.

02:26:53.000 It kind of keeps him sane, I think.

02:26:55.000 That's where he puts his...

02:26:56.000 Him and Jay Leno, right?

02:26:57.000 All the extra time stuff.

02:26:58.000 Yeah, it's kind of funny that they both are doing car things.

02:27:00.000 Leno's show's good.

02:27:01.000 Have you seen it?

02:27:02.000 I was on it.

02:27:03.000 Oh, you were on it?

02:27:03.000 Yeah.

02:27:04.000 My 1965 Corvette.

02:27:04.000 What were you doing?

02:27:06.000 Oh, yeah?

02:27:06.000 I brought that on.

02:27:07.000 Corvette!

02:27:07.000 Yeah.

02:27:08.000 I have a 65 Corvette that's what you call a resto mod.

02:27:12.000 So what they do is they take an old car, but they put modern suspension and brakes and a modern engine in it.

02:27:18.000 So it's reliable.

02:27:18.000 Oh, nice.

02:27:20.000 It starts up every time.

02:27:21.000 It brakes really well.

02:27:23.000 And the car guys think that that's not pure, so it's not as good and that kind of thing.

02:27:30.000 I just like what I like to drive.

02:27:32.000 It's like to drive an old car and to keep it old, it's to me like...

02:27:37.000 Okay, good luck with that.

02:27:38.000 You have a good time.

02:27:39.000 They can fix the brakes.

02:27:41.000 Can they make it so it brakes better?

02:27:42.000 Yeah, definitely do that.

02:27:44.000 Can they make it so it handles better?

02:27:45.000 Yeah, they can.

02:27:46.000 Oh, why would I want to do that?

02:27:47.000 That's not how they do it.

02:27:48.000 What am I, in the Flintstone days?

02:27:49.000 How about no brakes?

02:27:50.000 Just give me a hole so I can stick my feet out the bottom.

02:27:53.000 But they get snobby about that stuff. 1.00

02:27:55.000 They can fuck off. 1.00

02:27:56.000 They do get snobby. 1.00

02:27:57.000 There's a guy who lives up the street from me, and I had my car and I was washing it, and he pulled by with the same exact car, but his was totally stocked.

02:28:06.000 And he looked at mine, and immediately he could tell.

02:28:08.000 Like, he looked at the wheels, all these giant fat steamroller tires on it.

02:28:13.000 I mean, it's just modern.

02:28:14.000 And he looked at the wheels, and he's like, that's not stock.

02:28:17.000 I go, no.

02:28:18.000 No, it's not stock.

02:28:20.000 And you could see he's shaking his head.

02:28:22.000 He's like, what do you got in the hood?

02:28:23.000 I go, it's a supercharged LS1 with 500 horsepower, sun.

02:28:28.000 And I was like, what do you got? 1.00

02:28:31.000 That rickety-ass, fucking carburetor-driven, fucking dinosaur-mobile. 1.00

02:28:35.000 Get the fuck out of here with your stock bullshit. 1.00

02:28:38.000 Don't give me the stink eye, sir. 1.00

02:28:39.000 Yeah, it's funny.

02:28:40.000 But he really did.

02:28:41.000 He was looking down at me.

02:28:42.000 Yeah.

02:28:42.000 It's weird.

02:28:44.000 It's not stock, is it?

02:28:45.000 You're not a man.

02:28:46.000 You're not a man.

02:28:47.000 No, it's fast and handles good.

02:28:49.000 Yeah.

02:28:50.000 I want it to be pleasurable to drive.

02:28:51.000 Yeah, of course. 1.00

02:28:52.000 Not just stare at you, fuck. 1.00

02:28:54.000 God damn it. 1.00

02:28:55.000 It doesn't even have the old frame. 0.99

02:28:56.000 My car has everything.

02:28:57.000 Everything's different.

02:28:58.000 Even the frame is different.

02:29:00.000 Oh, really?

02:29:00.000 Yeah, it's got a modern frame because it's rigid.

02:29:03.000 Those old frames, they were pulled together with bubble gum and fucking coat hangers and shit. 0.99

02:29:08.000 I know. 1.00

02:29:10.000 You drive a real 1965 car on the highway, you're like, we're gonna die! 0.99

02:29:14.000 We're gonna fucking die! 0.99

02:29:16.000 Even my Volkswagen just has a lap belt. 1.00

02:29:18.000 Oh, my Corvette has a lap belt.

02:29:20.000 Oh, really?

02:29:20.000 Yeah.

02:29:21.000 Do you ever think about putting the regular belt in?

02:29:22.000 Nope.

02:29:23.000 No?

02:29:24.000 But that you'll keep...

02:29:25.000 I'll leave the lap belt.

02:29:26.000 It's also convertible.

02:29:28.000 You look like in a carnival ride.

02:29:29.000 Yeah.

02:29:30.000 I know.

02:29:31.000 If you're lucky, get thrown from the car.

02:29:35.000 How amazing is Leno's garages, though?

02:29:37.000 It's insane.

02:29:38.000 Garages.

02:29:39.000 Yeah.

02:29:39.000 He has 11 warehouse buildings.

02:29:41.000 Airplane hangers.

02:29:42.000 Yeah.

02:29:43.000 Filled with- Huge.

02:29:44.000 It's like a museum. 1.00

02:29:45.000 It's the craziest shit I've ever seen. 1.00

02:29:46.000 I didn't know. 1.00

02:29:48.000 Like, I knew he had a bunch of cars, but I didn't know. 0.99

02:29:51.000 And so when I went there and I was wandering around, I was like, holy shit. 0.99

02:29:56.000 Yeah. 0.54

02:29:57.000 He took my father and I through it, let my father come after I did The Tonight Show, and he said, come on up, I'll give you a tour.

02:30:03.000 He was so nice.

02:30:04.000 I brought my father around, and he was just blown away.

02:30:08.000 I mean, you go through, like, miles and miles of cars, and he's like, you want to see the motorcycles?

02:30:13.000 What?

02:30:13.000 Then you go into a whole other place, and it's just filled with bikes.

02:30:16.000 And he drives everything in there.

02:30:18.000 He takes everything in there on the road.

02:30:19.000 Everything's street legal.

02:30:20.000 Today I'm going to take the steamroller. 0.99

02:30:22.000 He takes a fucking steamroller with rubber around the tires. 0.99

02:30:25.000 There it is right there. 1.00

02:30:25.000 Jay Leno's fucking garage. 1.00

02:30:27.000 It's a crazy place, man. 1.00

02:30:29.000 It's so crazy.

02:30:30.000 It's gorgeous.

02:30:31.000 All the stuff on the walls, all the memorabilia is insane.

02:30:34.000 It is gorgeous.

02:30:34.000 Yeah.

02:30:35.000 And he has a shop.

02:30:36.000 He has full people there, mechanics, working on the stuff.

02:30:39.000 Yeah.

02:30:40.000 With 3D printers making the tools and the pieces.

02:30:43.000 Yeah, he can literally make spare parts.

02:30:46.000 He can machine things.

02:30:47.000 Look at that.

02:30:48.000 All from comedy. 1.00

02:30:49.000 Look at my fucking jean shirt on. 0.99

02:30:49.000 Hey, how you doing? 0.99

02:30:52.000 All from comedy.

02:30:53.000 It's a Canadian tuxedo.

02:30:54.000 You had him on, right?

02:30:55.000 Yeah.

02:30:56.000 He's great.

02:30:57.000 He was great.

02:30:58.000 It's so interesting hearing him swear.

02:31:00.000 Right. 0.95

02:31:01.000 Like, the people, if you've never heard the Jay Leno episode, go listen to it, because he tells some fucking insane stories about doing gigs for the mob. 0.95

02:31:09.000 Oh, really? 0.90

02:31:09.000 Yeah. 0.90

02:31:10.000 About mob guys, like, yelling at priests and, like, how intense it was.

02:31:15.000 Oh, really?

02:31:16.000 Woo! 0.99

02:31:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:31:17.000 He's been around.

02:31:18.000 He's done a lot of gigs.

02:31:19.000 He's done a lot of gigs.

02:31:21.000 He makes all of his money for all the cars all comes from comedy.

02:31:25.000 I know.

02:31:26.000 His Tonight Show money all went into the bank.

02:31:28.000 Is that insane?

02:31:29.000 It's crazy.

02:31:29.000 Like, what are you doing with all that money, bro?

02:31:31.000 It's insane.

02:31:33.000 He was on Tonight Show for how many years?

02:31:35.000 Yeah.

02:31:36.000 He refused to spend a dime of it.

02:31:38.000 Threw it all in the bank.

02:31:39.000 No kids.

02:31:40.000 No kids.

02:31:41.000 Just keep all that money. 0.99

02:31:43.000 Just shoot loads into his car.

02:31:45.000 Isn't that amazing?

02:31:45.000 All from comedy.

02:31:46.000 Look at that. 0.99

02:31:47.000 Yeah, that front of that car is filled up with all his backed up cum. 0.99

02:31:53.000 What? 0.98

02:31:53.000 That's what it is. 0.98

02:31:54.000 Say that again?

02:31:54.000 It's shooting loads into that engine.

02:31:56.000 I'm sorry.

02:31:56.000 Did you say what?

02:31:57.000 It runs on jizz.

02:31:58.000 What?

02:31:58.000 That car does?

02:31:59.000 That car does.

02:31:59.000 No.

02:32:00.000 I mean, I'm not a car guy, but that's weird, right?

02:32:02.000 He takes that around with him.

02:32:04.000 Imagine that lady just backing up into that. 1.00

02:32:05.000 I'm sorry.

02:32:06.000 I was on my Twitter.

02:32:07.000 I'm arguing with people about Trump.

02:32:11.000 I banged into your $80 million cap.

02:32:15.000 I saw Jay once when I was in traffic on the cold water.

02:32:18.000 I just see this man, you know, and it's all backed up in both ways.

02:32:21.000 It's just tons of traffic.

02:32:22.000 I see this man, like, running down the center of the traffic.

02:32:26.000 Like, who's this nut?

02:32:27.000 And it was Jay going, he goes past the car, picks up his hubcap that came off, and goes running back the other way. 0.98

02:32:37.000 He's a nut.

02:32:39.000 He probably has to get that hubcap. 0.93

02:32:40.000 There's probably no other hubcap like it.

02:32:42.000 Right, exactly.

02:32:43.000 A lot of the cars that he has, look at that thing.

02:32:43.000 Yeah, that was important.

02:32:46.000 Oh my god.

02:32:47.000 Who's that guy with him?

02:32:48.000 Some dude.

02:32:48.000 I don't know.

02:32:49.000 Oh, that's Richie McRichrich.

02:32:50.000 Oh, Richie. 1.00

02:32:52.000 There's little skinny tires on that fucking thing. 1.00

02:32:55.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:32:56.000 God, it's so weird.

02:32:57.000 It's a good show.

02:32:58.000 Oh, it's a great show.

02:32:58.000 It's really fun.

02:32:59.000 It's so much better for him than The Tonight Show in that he gets to be who he is.

02:33:05.000 Yeah, completely.

02:33:06.000 He's so passionate about cars.

02:33:06.000 100%.

02:33:08.000 He fucking loves cars. 0.99

02:33:10.000 And he knows everything about them. 0.99

02:33:12.000 Yeah, he loves it.

02:33:14.000 Oh, that's that 73 Mazda.

02:33:16.000 That guy was actually there while I was there.

02:33:19.000 He was the next one after we filmed my episode.

02:33:22.000 He's got this crazy 73 Mazda that's like fucking super souped up, really light.

02:33:29.000 Did you see when he rolled? 0.98

02:33:30.000 I heard he rolled a car.

02:33:31.000 See that video?

02:33:32.000 What did he roll?

02:33:33.000 He rolled, I think it was like a truck.

02:33:35.000 Seinfeld rolled one of his cars too, right?

02:33:37.000 Yeah, kind of.

02:33:38.000 Like a baby roll.

02:33:40.000 Seinfeld had a baby roll?

02:33:41.000 Yeah, I think it was like off the off-ramp.

02:33:44.000 No, I don't think it was a big deal.

02:33:46.000 Really?

02:33:46.000 Yeah.

02:33:47.000 I think he went to the hospital.

02:33:49.000 I think he almost died.

02:33:50.000 No.

02:33:51.000 Oh, there he goes.

02:33:52.000 Yeah, look at that.

02:33:53.000 Oh, it's just a car.

02:33:54.000 Oh, that's a Chevelle?

02:33:55.000 What is that?

02:33:57.000 A Super V? It's hard to tell what that is.

02:34:00.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:34:01.000 Can you hear it?

02:34:02.000 His reaction was funny at the end.

02:34:06.000 Whoa.

02:34:08.000 No, it wasn't a stunt.

02:34:09.000 This heart-stopping accident occurred while the host...

02:34:13.000 That old dude shouldn't be driving.

02:34:15.000 Yeah, that's kind of the vibe that you got.

02:34:17.000 Jay was like, alright.

02:34:19.000 I mean, literally, one, two...

02:34:19.000 Look at that guy.

02:34:23.000 What if that guy killed Jay Leno because he's too old to drive?

02:34:27.000 I know.

02:34:28.000 He's too old to drive.

02:34:31.000 Yeah, geez.

02:34:32.000 That seemed like it was a while ago.

02:34:34.000 It was several years ago, I think.

02:34:34.000 It was.

02:34:36.000 Wow.

02:34:37.000 Is that crazy?

02:34:39.000 2016?

02:34:40.000 That's when this video was put up, yeah.

02:34:41.000 Oh, wow.

02:34:42.000 Look, he gets out.

02:34:44.000 Can you hear him?

02:34:47.000 It looks like an old Barracuda.

02:34:52.000 It's tough to tell what that car is.

02:34:53.000 God.

02:34:55.000 Is it an old Plymouth?

02:34:56.000 What is that?

02:34:57.000 Yeah, it is an old Barracuda.

02:34:59.000 Oh, wow.

02:35:00.000 That's the first model Barracuda, which is a totally different looking car than the second generation.

02:35:07.000 Wow.

02:35:09.000 That body style is different.

02:35:10.000 That was a weird looking car.

02:35:11.000 They're cool, though.

02:35:12.000 Yeah.

02:35:13.000 It's good to have an obsessive hobby.

02:35:15.000 It's good in life.

02:35:16.000 Yeah.

02:35:17.000 Right?

02:35:17.000 Even if you work hard and do all this stuff, there's still extra time.

02:35:20.000 It's good to put your energy into something.

02:35:22.000 You know?

02:35:22.000 Yeah.

02:35:23.000 For me, it's imperative.

02:35:24.000 Yeah.

02:35:25.000 I've figured that out over the years of my life.

02:35:27.000 Like, for me, I need mind...

02:35:30.000 Hey, see the background.

02:35:32.000 I'm not going away.

02:35:33.000 The car only flipped once in the comments, but they just edited it to make it look worse.

02:35:37.000 I'm trying to...

02:35:38.000 I was replaying it. 0.97

02:35:39.000 That's ridiculous. 0.97

02:35:40.000 Wait a minute. 0.99

02:35:40.000 Play that back. 0.99

02:35:41.000 No, I rolled more than once.

02:35:42.000 Play it back for us.

02:35:43.000 I'm sorry.

02:35:44.000 Some people said they saw the unedited footage.

02:35:47.000 Hold on.

02:35:48.000 Do it again.

02:35:48.000 Do it from the beginning.

02:35:52.000 Here it goes.

02:35:53.000 Guy's shifting.

02:35:55.000 Here's the flip.

02:35:56.000 Oh, he hit a wheelhouse.

02:35:57.000 100 horsepower?

02:35:58.000 No, way more than 100 horsepower.

02:36:01.000 Let me see this guy.

02:36:05.000 One.

02:36:06.000 Two.

02:36:08.000 No, that...

02:36:08.000 They just added the same flip back.

02:36:10.000 Yeah.

02:36:13.000 Yeah, I think that's true.

02:36:15.000 I think they're probably telling the truth.

02:36:17.000 I think that thing probably only flipped once.

02:36:19.000 Whatever.

02:36:20.000 Whatever.

02:36:21.000 Once is rough.

02:36:22.000 It's hard to get something to flip a bunch of times.

02:36:24.000 Like, you gotta be really flying to flip a bunch of times.

02:36:27.000 Flip once by the time...

02:36:29.000 All the energy will be dissipated by the time you hit bang, bang, bang, you know?

02:36:33.000 Be careful out there, kids.

02:36:35.000 Especially with those old-ass cars.

02:36:35.000 Yeah, don't...

02:36:37.000 Especially old-ass cars with old suspensions. 0.98

02:36:40.000 That's why I juice my shit up with modern stuff. 0.99

02:36:43.000 Yeah, take that, neighbor. 1.00

02:36:45.000 Second handle, neighbor asshole. 1.00

02:36:46.000 You fucking... 1.00

02:36:47.000 Old dry fucking tires. 1.00

02:36:50.000 Those old cracky tires. 1.00

02:36:52.000 Your tiny penis. 1.00

02:36:52.000 Those cracked out old tires. 1.00

02:36:54.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:36:55.000 With shitty tread. 0.97

02:36:56.000 You need a hobby. 0.95

02:36:57.000 You need stuff.

02:36:58.000 It's amazing like you could do all this work and like really hardcore your career and there's still extra time.

02:37:03.000 Well, not just that.

02:37:04.000 I think doing one thing only all the time is not good for the brain.

02:37:09.000 Uh-huh.

02:37:09.000 I think it's good for the brain to be excited by a bunch of different things.

02:37:13.000 Interesting.

02:37:14.000 I think it makes you a more unique person.

02:37:15.000 It makes you more interesting.

02:37:16.000 As a comic, I think it's very important.

02:37:19.000 Yeah.

02:37:19.000 It's very important to have a more nuanced perspective.

02:37:22.000 Right.

02:37:23.000 And to also have more information to draw from.

02:37:26.000 Yeah.

02:37:26.000 That like you're experiencing more different parts of life and also different types of failure.

02:37:31.000 I think different types of failure is good for you.

02:37:33.000 Absolutely.

02:37:34.000 Physical failure, mental failure, complication failure.

02:37:38.000 I think all that stuff is good for you.

02:37:40.000 Pick something up that you're not good at.

02:37:41.000 Yes.

02:37:41.000 It's amazing.

02:37:42.000 Yes.

02:37:43.000 It's amazing how many times you will...

02:37:45.000 Feel like a beginner back at the same thing you've been practicing.

02:37:48.000 Sure.

02:37:48.000 Like if you start making changes, you're like, ah, I'm kind of back to the beginning of this again.

02:37:51.000 What do you do other than the baking?

02:37:54.000 The baking is the biggest thing.

02:37:56.000 The baking is like, it's really like my first hobby.

02:37:58.000 I never really had something like that.

02:38:00.000 Yeah.

02:38:01.000 That's put all my time into.

02:38:03.000 It was always just stand up.

02:38:04.000 Wow.

02:38:05.000 And then the baking.

02:38:07.000 And now I'm writing more than ever before.

02:38:09.000 So I'm like writing, sitting down, writing concentrated for a long period.

02:38:13.000 Are you writing comedy or just writing writing?

02:38:16.000 It depends.

02:38:18.000 I'm the head writer for Live From Here, the Prairie Home Companion thing.

02:38:23.000 Wait a minute.

02:38:23.000 Is that Garrison Keillor?

02:38:25.000 Yeah.

02:38:25.000 So it kicks him out, right?

02:38:26.000 It's the new thing.

02:38:27.000 Well, he quit.

02:38:28.000 He retired before he got in trouble.

02:38:30.000 He retired a couple of years before.

02:38:32.000 Oh, he did?

02:38:32.000 Yeah.

02:38:33.000 But once he got in trouble, that's when the name changed.

02:38:36.000 And the getting in trouble thing was before he even retired.

02:38:39.000 Like it was an incident from before then.

02:38:41.000 Yes, yes, yes.

02:38:42.000 Yeah, it was an old thing.

02:38:43.000 It was kind of a muddled thing.

02:38:45.000 Very weird one.

02:38:46.000 Yeah.

02:38:46.000 But then, you know, when I had said that on the podcast, that it was weird and that he just kind of hugged a chick and his hand went down her back, then someone sent me an article that there was more than one incident.

02:38:55.000 Yeah.

02:38:56.000 And there was several of them and that, you know, he had been...

02:38:58.000 And they didn't make them public.

02:39:00.000 Yeah.

02:39:00.000 And I don't even know what they were.

02:39:01.000 But I know they had to...

02:39:03.000 They did investigate it.

02:39:04.000 Right.

02:39:04.000 But they had to end up changing the name of it.

02:39:07.000 So anyway, I spend a lot of time writing for that.

02:39:10.000 Then it went really from writing my book, and then I got that gig, so I continued writing at that pace, and now I'm continuing to write like that.

02:39:21.000 So the writing is kind of...

02:39:25.000 It's weird because from doing stand-up writing, this almost seems like something new.

02:39:30.000 It almost seems like another hobby.

02:39:31.000 You know what I mean?

02:39:32.000 Sure, yeah.

02:39:32.000 Another different way to exercise your mind.

02:39:34.000 Yeah, it's different.

02:39:35.000 It's different.

02:39:36.000 Sitting there and writing stuff out and really parsing it.

02:39:39.000 But it does make me think, and I haven't been able to crack it, of why not put that effort of that intense writing style into the stand-up?

02:39:49.000 You don't do that?

02:39:51.000 No.

02:39:51.000 I'm looser with it.

02:39:53.000 I'll write it, and then I'll go perform it, and then I'll come back and edit it.

02:39:57.000 But Carlin did that at the end.

02:40:00.000 He would just write the whole thing and memorize it.

02:40:04.000 Like a book, and then go present it.

02:40:07.000 I haven't done that.

02:40:08.000 Do you do that?

02:40:09.000 No.

02:40:10.000 No.

02:40:11.000 What I do is...

02:40:13.000 I do two things.

02:40:14.000 One, I write premises in Word.

02:40:16.000 And then I have a program called Scrivener.

02:40:19.000 And what Scrivener does is it lets me take things into categories or into subjects.

02:40:25.000 So I have a title of a set, right?

02:40:30.000 I'll call it, like, my last special is called, the one that's coming out, it's called Strange Times.

02:40:35.000 So I wrote Strange Times at the top of it, and then I have all these different subjects in Strange Times.

02:40:40.000 Right.

02:40:40.000 And then I can move them around.

02:40:42.000 I can shift them, and each time I click on one, it takes me to all the stuff that I've written about that subject.

02:40:49.000 And then I also can click on another little part of it, and it shows me a cork board.

02:40:53.000 And on the cork board, there's like these...

02:40:57.000 What do you call?

02:40:58.000 Virtual index cards.

02:41:00.000 And so I have the index cards that I can move around.

02:41:02.000 Each index card has like notes on different parts.

02:41:05.000 Like this is a very important part of the bit.

02:41:06.000 This is a note about a study that was done that shows that this is real.

02:41:10.000 All these different things.

02:41:11.000 And so I can move all those around.

02:41:13.000 But this way I can look at it in the little tiny side where each individual subject is all in this one long column.

02:41:22.000 And I can see like the set.

02:41:24.000 Like this is a whole set.

02:41:25.000 Right.

02:41:26.000 But then, no matter what, it has to be really ironed out in front of an audience.

02:41:33.000 Right.

02:41:33.000 Because I can write as much as I want, and a lot of it is effective, writing alone, but it comes to life in front of an audience.

02:41:41.000 And changes, yeah.

02:41:42.000 Yeah, changes.

02:41:42.000 But how much will you write before you bring it out?

02:41:45.000 Will you write a...

02:41:47.000 A couple pages into it?

02:41:49.000 Depends.

02:41:50.000 Sometimes it's thousands of words for a couple minute bit.

02:41:55.000 And you'll take that up before you've tried it?

02:41:57.000 You'll write a couple thousand words?

02:41:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:41:59.000 Sometimes.

02:42:00.000 And sometimes it's just a few lines.

02:42:01.000 And then I just run with a premise.

02:42:03.000 Sometimes I'll just try to...

02:42:05.000 Try to air a premise out and see where it goes.

02:42:08.000 This is one that I'm working on right now.

02:42:12.000 The setup of the premise gets a really big laugh and then I don't know where to go with it.

02:42:17.000 And then I'm fucking around with it and I'm trying to figure out where to go with it.

02:42:21.000 I know there's something there and I'm not going to let it go. 0.96

02:42:23.000 But every day I throw a little bit of water on it and I hope to see the sprouts.

02:42:27.000 If you've got a great premise, there is a great joke there.

02:42:31.000 There's something there.

02:42:32.000 Definitely.

02:42:33.000 But it's one of those ones where I know, okay, I can't let this go. 0.98

02:42:35.000 I know there's something there, but right now it ain't shit. 0.98

02:42:38.000 Right. 0.96

02:42:38.000 It's going to take a while. 0.96

02:42:40.000 I could be the only one that believes in this.

02:42:42.000 Yeah.

02:42:42.000 Yeah, I know.

02:42:43.000 It's amazing.

02:42:44.000 It's so funny.

02:42:44.000 I was writing something about a raccoon the other day.

02:42:47.000 I saw a raccoon with their hands.

02:42:49.000 And as I was writing about it, I was like, wait a minute.

02:42:53.000 And I looked through my notes.

02:42:54.000 It's like, I thought I had a really good raccoon bit about a year ago.

02:42:58.000 Yeah.

02:42:59.000 So you had a raccoon on the brain?

02:43:01.000 And the audience told me this wasn't very good, and I ended up quitting on it, and now I'm like, I'm back with my new raccoon bin.

02:43:08.000 Sometimes you just have to let it go and then walk around it, look at it from the back, and then walk around it, look at it from the side.

02:43:14.000 I know. 0.99

02:43:15.000 And then maybe sometimes something happens, and you go, oh, my fucking raccoon bin! 0.99

02:43:18.000 And you go through your notes, oh, baby! 0.99

02:43:21.000 You're back, baby!

02:43:22.000 You're back, baby!

02:43:23.000 Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick!

02:43:25.000 Come on! 0.61

02:43:25.000 Woo! 0.61

02:43:26.000 Woo! 0.99

02:43:29.000 Tom Pop at 34 o'clock.

02:43:31.000 Time flies.

02:43:32.000 Oh my god.

02:43:32.000 Isn't that crazy?

02:43:33.000 What the fuck, bro? 1.00

02:43:34.000 I know. 1.00

02:43:34.000 When I was coming here, I was like, I don't know if I got three hours in me today. 1.00

02:43:37.000 That's the last thing you said last time we were here.

02:43:39.000 Is it really?

02:43:41.000 Is it really?

02:43:42.000 Or one of them.

02:43:42.000 He said, what are we going to talk about?

02:43:44.000 I don't know.

02:43:45.000 We just started talking.

02:43:46.000 It always flies.

02:43:48.000 Tom Pop, ladies and gentlemen.

02:43:49.000 Yeah, baby.

02:43:50.000 Baked on the Food Channel starting...

02:43:52.000 Monday.

02:43:53.000 Monday.

02:43:53.000 Whoa, are you excited?

02:43:54.000 Monday, September 3rd.

02:43:55.000 And they'll be on every Monday.

02:43:56.000 Two episodes.

02:43:56.000 Are you doing a lot of press?

02:43:57.000 What's that?

02:43:58.000 Are you doing a lot of press?

02:43:59.000 A good amount of press, yeah.

02:44:01.000 I've done a bunch.

02:44:02.000 Mondays, 10 p.m., 9 central.

02:44:06.000 Look at that.

02:44:07.000 And 10.30 p.m.

02:44:08.000 What happened?

02:44:08.000 Comedy and bread.

02:44:09.000 What the fuck, bro? 1.00

02:44:10.000 Comedy and bread, that's all you need. 1.00

02:44:11.000 Hey, fucking bread! 1.00

02:44:14.000 Your audience made it happen. 1.00

02:44:16.000 Woo! 0.99

02:44:17.000 For real.

02:44:18.000 Well, thank you, brother.

02:44:19.000 Thanks for being here.

02:44:19.000 Always great.

02:44:20.000 Good luck with your show.

02:44:21.000 I hope it runs forever.

02:44:22.000 Bread.

02:44:23.000 Do you have any elk?

02:44:24.000 It's Labor Day.

02:44:24.000 Yes, I do.

02:44:25.000 I got a shitload.

02:44:26.000 I even bought freezer bags.

02:44:27.000 Sweet! 0.95

02:44:27.000 Yes. 0.95

02:44:28.000 Bye, everybody. 0.99

02:44:29.000 See you next week, you fucks. 1.00

02:44:31.000 Love ya. 0.99

02:44:32.000 Bye.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 31, 2018

Joe Rogan Experience #1165 - Tom Papa

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Transcript