The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1223 - Greg Fitzsimmons

00:00:07.000 That's it?

00:00:08.000 Wow.

00:00:08.000 A two count from young Jamie.

00:00:11.000 Messing with the buttons and hit the other one.

00:00:13.000 Gregory.

00:00:15.000 How are you, fella?

00:00:17.000 Joe Rogan, always a pleasure to be back in the...

00:00:20.000 What I love is that you kept this studio the same as the old one because the vibe was perfect.

00:00:25.000 I tried to recreate it.

00:00:27.000 I felt like as long as we had the desk, we have the heart.

00:00:30.000 We have the heart of the studio.

00:00:31.000 The rest of it is just stuff.

00:00:33.000 And Jamie, the heart.

00:00:34.000 And Jamie.

00:00:35.000 We need...

00:00:37.000 There's something about, I really think that when you use a desk for a long time, there's something about desks.

00:00:45.000 Like, if you found out, like, Hunter S. Thompson's desks was for sale.

00:00:50.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:00:50.000 You'd be like, holy shit. 0.99

00:00:52.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:00:52.000 I want to get my hands on that thing. 1.00

00:00:54.000 Like, that's got some ooze.

00:00:56.000 Right.

00:00:56.000 You know, he wrote on this?

00:00:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:58.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:00:59.000 Yeah, nice old, one of those old, like, railway station roll-top desks. 0.99

00:01:04.000 Yeah.

00:01:04.000 Oh, those are the best.

00:01:05.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:01:07.000 I'm gonna protect my shit while I'm out so nobody reads my journal. 0.97

00:01:11.000 One of my all-time favorite photos of him was him typing in Big Sur, like sitting on this outside table, typing. 0.98

00:01:20.000 I think he's on the edge of a cliff or something like that in the background.

00:01:25.000 You see the water?

00:01:26.000 Yeah.

00:01:28.000 You know that photo, Jamie?

00:01:29.000 Yeah, that's it, right there.

00:01:31.000 Oh, look at that, with the pipe, yeah.

00:01:33.000 Dude, that is one of the most iconic writing photos of all time.

00:01:37.000 Hunter S. Thompson with hair with a typewriter in front of the water at Big Sur in probably like 1960-something.

00:01:46.000 And you know, his schedule.

00:01:47.000 Did you ever read his schedule, his daily schedule?

00:01:50.000 Not only did I read it...

00:01:53.000 You lived it.

00:01:53.000 I read it on air, and I might have read it on air with you.

00:01:56.000 Yeah, I think you did.

00:01:57.000 It's a self-portrait.

00:01:59.000 How long?

00:02:00.000 So he took the picture himself.

00:02:01.000 Wow.

00:02:04.000 So this was in... 1.00

00:02:05.000 No shit. 0.99

00:02:05.000 I mean, it's what it's listed as. 0.99

00:02:07.000 This is in Big Sur.

00:02:08.000 That was when he was in, like, the early stages of his eruption.

00:02:13.000 That was, like, right around when he was writing Hell's Angels, probably.

00:02:16.000 Yeah.

00:02:17.000 61. Yeah.

00:02:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:20.000 That motherfucker was unique. 1.00

00:02:22.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:02:23.000 Did you ever see his documentary?

00:02:24.000 No.

00:02:25.000 There's a couple of really good ones, but the one that was the mainstream one, what was that?

00:02:31.000 Gonzo.

00:02:31.000 Yeah.

00:02:31.000 Gonzo.

00:02:32.000 Yeah, it was called Gonzo.

00:02:34.000 And then there was another one that was made by BBC that's really good, too. 0.98

00:02:40.000 But, yeah, if you could get ahold of fucking Hemingway's desk... 0.98

00:02:46.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:02:46.000 Hemingway maybe, like, it's worth too much. 0.98

00:02:50.000 Like, you wouldn't want to write on it.

00:02:51.000 Yeah, that's true. 0.99

00:02:53.000 You know, it's Hemingway's desk, like, I can't write on this fucking thing. 0.99

00:02:55.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:02:56.000 If it was Hunter's desk, I'd totally write on it.

00:02:58.000 Well, first you scrape the excess coke off the top. 0.93

00:03:01.000 Just lick it. 0.98

00:03:02.000 Lick it off. 0.98

00:03:04.000 Wipe the jism from the underside of the table.

00:03:07.000 Get the vag sauce off the sides.

00:03:10.000 Yeah.

00:03:11.000 What about his typewriter?

00:03:12.000 How much do you think his typewriter was for?

00:03:14.000 Hemingway's house and hangouts preserved in Havana.

00:03:18.000 Wow.

00:03:21.000 So they preserved where he lived.

00:03:23.000 And I wonder if that's where he killed himself.

00:03:26.000 I think he was in Cuba when he killed himself.

00:03:28.000 Wow.

00:03:31.000 Yeah, man.

00:03:32.000 His style of writing and that whole bravado that went with him...

00:03:40.000 He was a different cat.

00:03:43.000 You thought of him as an aggressive male writer.

00:03:49.000 That's an odd thing, like Hemingway.

00:03:52.000 He was aggressive.

00:03:55.000 Even Stephen King, for all his most horrific depictions of violence and gore and terror in his books, he's not thought of as...

00:04:05.000 This imposing physical thing.

00:04:07.000 Well, Hemingway was in the war.

00:04:09.000 Yeah.

00:04:09.000 You know?

00:04:10.000 Yeah.

00:04:11.000 At his elderly age.

00:04:14.000 He was, uh...

00:04:16.000 He used to go...

00:04:18.000 Skiing in the winter in, I think it was Switzerland, and there was no chairlifts back then. 0.98

00:04:24.000 So you would fucking grab your 50-pound skis and walk up the side of the Alps for like a half a day to take one fucking run, and he would do that every day. 0.98

00:04:36.000 That must be amazing for you. 0.99

00:04:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:04:39.000 Goddamn. 0.99

00:04:41.000 The kind of exercise, like carrying skis uphill in the snow. 0.99

00:04:46.000 Yeah.

00:04:48.000 That's incredible exercise.

00:04:50.000 I bet they were jacked.

00:04:52.000 I bet those skiers from the olden days, they had to be like crazy athletes. 0.72

00:04:56.000 Yeah.

00:04:56.000 And the skis were long back then.

00:04:58.000 They were like twice as long as they are now.

00:05:01.000 When did anybody figure out a ski lift?

00:05:04.000 I don't know.

00:05:05.000 But, I mean, Hemingway would have been skiing in, what, the 1930s?

00:05:11.000 1927. Goddamn, dude. 0.99

00:05:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:05:14.000 They walk uphill and ski down.

00:05:16.000 You got to be dedicated.

00:05:18.000 How good are you ever going to get?

00:05:19.000 I mean, normally you do, in a day, maybe you do a dozen runs going up a couple miles.

00:05:27.000 And this one, you do one run.

00:05:29.000 That's it.

00:05:30.000 Yeah, you got to be dedicated.

00:05:32.000 Try getting a lazy person to do that.

00:05:35.000 Lazy people will ski.

00:05:37.000 You know what I mean?

00:05:38.000 Because you just kind of get into it and you can la-de-da-de-da.

00:05:42.000 You don't have to get crazy.

00:05:44.000 You can just ski.

00:05:45.000 I'm not good, so I ski like a lazy person.

00:05:48.000 I just like, don't fall, don't fall, don't fall, don't fall, didn't fall.

00:05:55.000 That's literally me skiing.

00:05:57.000 Because I've had knee surgery.

00:05:58.000 You've had three knee surgeries.

00:05:59.000 Oh, it's crazy. 0.99

00:06:00.000 It's crazy how quickly you can fuck up your body skiing. 0.99

00:06:03.000 I am so... 0.97

00:06:03.000 I've skied my whole life. 0.97

00:06:05.000 I've never had an injury.

00:06:06.000 And I ski hard.

00:06:07.000 That's amazing. 0.99

00:06:07.000 I hit every fucking jump I can find. 0.99

00:06:09.000 You might be the only one that I know that, like, my friend Matt, he broke his ankle. 0.99

00:06:14.000 Ari broke his ankle.

00:06:16.000 And it happened in the course of, like, just a year.

00:06:18.000 Yeah.

00:06:19.000 Two friends at school, parents at school, blew out their ACLs.

00:06:23.000 Shhh.

00:06:24.000 Ow! 1.00

00:06:25.000 Yeah.

00:06:25.000 You don't want to do that when you're 43. You don't.

00:06:28.000 Right?

00:06:28.000 That's the thing is you get to a certain age and the risk-reward because injuries take so much longer to heal.

00:06:33.000 Yeah.

00:06:34.000 And you have so much less time to live.

00:06:36.000 You just...

00:06:37.000 The math doesn't work anymore.

00:06:38.000 Yeah.

00:06:38.000 To ski.

00:06:40.000 You got to protect your knees if you can.

00:06:42.000 Yeah. 0.79

00:06:43.000 Your knees are so goddamn important.

00:06:44.000 Whenever people have like hurt knees... 0.91

00:06:47.000 And they keep working out.

00:06:48.000 I always cringe.

00:06:49.000 Yeah.

00:06:50.000 They're like, yeah, I'm not going to get it fixed.

00:06:52.000 I'm just going to rehab it.

00:06:54.000 I'm like, what are you talking about rehabbing?

00:06:55.000 You're not rehabbing.

00:06:56.000 You're just going to ignore the fact that you don't have an ACL. Yeah.

00:06:59.000 Like rehabbing.

00:07:00.000 Yeah.

00:07:01.000 You don't have the stability in your knee.

00:07:04.000 So there's a lot of guys who blow it out and they keep exercising and they just chew the inside of their knee apart.

00:07:09.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:07:11.000 Yeah, I got something going on in the inside of my left knee for two fucking months. 0.99

00:07:14.000 If I try to squat down, it kills. 0.98

00:07:17.000 There's like a tendon on the inside of the knee.

00:07:20.000 And so I'm going to start some physical therapy this week to try to figure it out. 0.96

00:07:24.000 Because I haven't exercised in fucking two months. 0.97

00:07:27.000 Just because of this one thing? 0.99

00:07:29.000 What am I going to do?

00:07:30.000 I do more cardio.

00:07:31.000 I don't really lift that much.

00:07:33.000 Have you ever thought about getting PRP or Regenikine or anything into it?

00:07:38.000 Oh, no.

00:07:38.000 What's that?

00:07:40.000 Well, PRP is platelet-rich plasma.

00:07:43.000 And what they do is they take your blood and there's some sort of a process they do.

00:07:47.000 And they separate it and then they take this platelet-rich plasma and they inject it into the wounded area and accelerates healing.

00:07:54.000 A lot of people have really good results with that.

00:07:57.000 And then there's this stuff called Regenikine that's like platelet-rich plasma, but it's apparently the next step up and what they do is they heat your blood.

00:08:06.000 And by heating it, it produces something.

00:08:08.000 For sure, if you're a doctor, I'm so sorry that I'm butchering this.

00:08:12.000 If you're a scientist.

00:08:13.000 But I think it produces some sort of anti-inflammatory serum because your blood is reacting to the heat.

00:08:22.000 Here it explains.

00:08:24.000 I've had this done and it was really effective.

00:08:26.000 Really?

00:08:27.000 Yeah, serum removed from the layer and cultured with glass beads so that white blood cells produce IRAP, which is a natural anti-inflammatory.

00:08:37.000 Glass beads going into your knee?

00:08:40.000 I don't understand what that's saying.

00:08:41.000 It says serum is removed from this layer and cultured with glass beads.

00:08:46.000 So it's removed after the platelet-rich plasma.

00:08:49.000 So they make the platelet-rich plasma.

00:08:51.000 They get the serum and then they culture it.

00:08:55.000 So the white blood cells produce this natural anti-inflammatory.

00:08:58.000 So they trick the white blood cells, I guess, maybe for lack of a better word. 0.99

00:09:02.000 Anyway, so this shit, it's really good for accelerating your recovery process for an injury. 0.99

00:09:11.000 A lot of people do it if they get surgery, and then they have some of this done, too. 0.99

00:09:15.000 It accelerates the healing.

00:09:16.000 Right.

00:09:17.000 Especially as you get older, it just provides you with...

00:09:21.000 It's actually natural, too.

00:09:22.000 You don't have to worry about it, but it provides you with this...

00:09:25.000 Just an extra boost of healing.

00:09:27.000 Yeah.

00:09:28.000 For weird neck injuries and back injuries people like it for.

00:09:32.000 Right.

00:09:32.000 It's really good for lower back injuries.

00:09:34.000 A lot of it is inflammation, you know?

00:09:36.000 And so then they, is it local?

00:09:38.000 They shoot the blood into the area?

00:09:40.000 Yeah.

00:09:40.000 That's fair?

00:09:41.000 Yeah, it's freaky.

00:09:42.000 They put this little needle in you and then they screw the blood cap in there and it's like, now it's yellow.

00:09:47.000 It's like this yellow serum.

00:09:48.000 They squirt it into your back and you're like, whoa. 1.00

00:09:51.000 Damn. 0.99

00:09:51.000 It's weird. 0.99

00:09:53.000 Yeah, it's weird. 1.00

00:09:54.000 Think they would do my cock? 1.00

00:09:55.000 Yeah, they'll thicken it up for you. 1.00

00:09:57.000 But I want your blood in my cock. 1.00

00:10:00.000 Dude, I don't know if that's legal. 1.00

00:10:04.000 You can sell all kinds of things, right?

00:10:07.000 But you can't sell somebody your own blood.

00:10:09.000 Is that right?

00:10:09.000 I don't think so.

00:10:11.000 Do you think you could sell your own blood?

00:10:13.000 I mean, if you go to a blood bank, right?

00:10:15.000 I'm sure there's a website you could probably do that.

00:10:17.000 Yeah.

00:10:17.000 Do you think so?

00:10:18.000 Oh, like a dark web type deal?

00:10:20.000 Yeah, like that whole myth about selling people's kidneys.

00:10:22.000 I'm sure William Shatner would be doing it if he could.

00:10:24.000 No, no, if you could just, like, if someone was selling blood, like some, you know, there's a lot of those young, enterprising young gals. 1.00

00:10:33.000 On the internet that sell dirty socks.

00:10:35.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:10:37.000 They sell toenail clips and shit. 0.99

00:10:40.000 I'm not kidding, man. 1.00

00:10:42.000 I'm not kidding.

00:10:44.000 Yeah.

00:10:45.000 Nothing goes to waste.

00:10:47.000 No, nothing goes.

00:10:48.000 Blood for sale.

00:10:49.000 India's illegal red market.

00:10:51.000 What is this, Jamie?

00:10:52.000 Oh, this is like...

00:10:53.000 They're doing it medically, though.

00:10:56.000 In an alleyway.

00:10:57.000 Yeah, but that's how they do it there. 0.96

00:11:00.000 Man, that's crazy. 0.83

00:11:02.000 Is there still a ban on Haitian people and gay people giving blood? 0.95

00:11:09.000 That's a very good question.

00:11:10.000 Because they've gotten so close to stopping HIV that they can get it to the point where you can't even detect it.

00:11:22.000 Oh yeah.

00:11:24.000 Which is incredible.

00:11:25.000 Yeah.

00:11:25.000 And now in the third world, because my friend Peter Kurt, he lives in Zimbabwe.

00:11:32.000 No, Mozambique.

00:11:34.000 And he used to work for the health department in LA County.

00:11:37.000 He was the guy that was in charge of AIDS prevention.

00:11:40.000 And so he got a job...

00:11:43.000 Working over in Africa, and he said that you can now cure, not cure, but stabilize somebody with HIV with a pill that's like $60 a month or something like that.

00:11:55.000 Wow!

00:11:55.000 Yeah, they've got the price way down in Africa now.

00:11:58.000 That's incredible.

00:12:00.000 Why is there so many cases of HIV in Africa?

00:12:06.000 Um...

00:12:08.000 Well, I think when nutrition is poor, then there's more cutting and bleeding.

00:12:13.000 Because I had heard that a lot of what you see in terms of like, if they're talking about AIDS in Africa...

00:12:21.000 That it's very easy to put AIDS, like that category AIDS, that sometimes it's just people with damaged immune systems from a host of different diseases, that it's sometimes people aren't getting tested.

00:12:34.000 I always wondered, like, how many of those people are tested for HIV? Right, right.

00:12:38.000 What is...

00:12:39.000 But the fact that a guy like Magic Johnson has had it since...

00:12:43.000 Remember when you heard Magic Johnson?

00:12:45.000 I was in a panic.

00:12:46.000 I felt like it was a zombie movie.

00:12:48.000 It's happened.

00:12:49.000 It started.

00:12:50.000 And then people are just going to get it.

00:12:51.000 We're all going to die of AIDS. Our generation, when you and I were like 21, that's what everybody thought.

00:12:57.000 Everyone's going to die from AIDS. Now Magic Johnson looks great.

00:13:00.000 He's still alive.

00:13:02.000 Think of how many people have died who didn't have HIV and we're worried about this one thing.

00:13:07.000 I remember he wanted to play in the All-Star game and all the players were like, nah, I'm good.

00:13:13.000 It's going to be a slam dunk contest by the end of this.

00:13:16.000 Dude, Jesus Christ. 0.98

00:13:20.000 What did fucking Damon Wayans used to have a bit about Dennis Rodman? 0.99

00:13:30.000 Dude, it was about Dennis Rodman spitting in Magic Johnson's mouth to accelerate his symptoms. 0.97

00:13:35.000 He's like, if he wanted to try to get hardcore with them...

00:13:39.000 I'm a huge Damon Wayans fan, so I hope I'm not butchering his bit.

00:13:48.000 But I think that was...

00:13:50.000 I know that was his line. 0.99

00:13:52.000 I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms. 0.99

00:13:56.000 Dude, Damon Wayans, in my opinion, is like one of the most ignored greats. 0.99

00:14:03.000 I agree 100%.

00:14:04.000 I used to open for him sometimes.

00:14:07.000 And twice, I remember him coming in on a Thursday night.

00:14:10.000 It was Thursday to Sunday, Faneuil Hall Comedy Connection. 0.99

00:14:14.000 Thursday night he comes in, fucking yellow pads... 0.99

00:14:19.000 He goes up and just regurgitates a new hour and gets okay laughs for a new hour. 1.00

00:14:25.000 Friday night, he comes back tighter, tighter. 0.99

00:14:29.000 Sunday night, it's like he would fucking destroy with a new hour. 0.98

00:14:32.000 It was crazy. 0.98

00:14:35.000 He's really good, man.

00:14:36.000 Yeah.

00:14:36.000 He would just go up at the comedy store and literally let whatever thought came into his head.

00:14:43.000 And he would take long sets.

00:14:45.000 And he would take that stuff and he would turn that stuff into killer closing bits.

00:14:51.000 Yeah.

00:14:51.000 But for whatever reason, I think he just got into doing sitcoms more.

00:14:54.000 Right. 1.00

00:14:55.000 It was like, nah, fuck it. 1.00

00:14:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:57.000 You know? 1.00

00:14:58.000 Yeah.

00:14:59.000 Yeah, that's an interesting family, man.

00:15:02.000 You know, they grew up in the projects in Manhattan.

00:15:05.000 Dude, talent in that family.

00:15:07.000 Yeah.

00:15:07.000 Kenan, Damon, Marlon, Sean.

00:15:11.000 I mean, Jesus Christ.

00:15:12.000 Yeah.

00:15:13.000 That's a lot of killers.

00:15:15.000 And isn't Damon's son doing stand-up too now?

00:15:18.000 Yeah.

00:15:18.000 Dude.

00:15:19.000 Damon Jr., right? 0.98

00:15:21.000 What a crazy family. 0.58

00:15:22.000 I know. 0.99

00:15:24.000 You better be in show business in that family or you're doomed.

00:15:28.000 Yeah!

00:15:29.000 I mean, think about that.

00:15:30.000 It's like...

00:15:31.000 Right?

00:15:32.000 If you want to compete with your brothers, Keenan Ivory Wayans, Damon Wayans, Kim Wayans, Sean Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Damian Dante Wayans, Damian Wayans Jr. That's all of them.

00:15:43.000 Yeah.

00:15:44.000 All of them in show business.

00:15:45.000 It's amazing.

00:15:47.000 Yep.

00:15:48.000 Good looking, too. 0.99

00:15:50.000 Keenan had a fucking great talk show. 0.99

00:15:53.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:15:54.000 He had great writers.

00:15:55.000 He was really good as a talk show host.

00:15:57.000 Yeah, he was. 1.00

00:15:58.000 It's a talented fucking family, man. 1.00

00:15:59.000 Yep. 0.99

00:16:00.000 But for whatever reason, man, Damon did this one HBO special, and I think he called it his last stand.

00:16:08.000 And it was really good, man.

00:16:10.000 It was really good.

00:16:12.000 And at the end of it, he just throws the microphone down and says, like, this is the last time I'm doing stand-up. 0.99

00:16:16.000 Oh, no shit. 0.99

00:16:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:17.000 Wow. 1.00

00:16:18.000 He just, like, decided he was going to do movies.

00:16:21.000 That's it.

00:16:21.000 Last stand with a question mark.

00:16:25.000 Yeah.

00:16:27.000 He got, you know, he just got into other stuff.

00:16:30.000 But I'm telling you, man, when he was like, go up and above, go that photo, the one, like, that was the stage, the beret-wearing stage.

00:16:39.000 Yeah.

00:16:40.000 Dude, I'm telling you, people forgot.

00:16:43.000 He's one of the best.

00:16:44.000 Yeah.

00:16:44.000 One of the best ever.

00:16:45.000 Dude, he would murder. 0.51

00:16:47.000 That one particular special is just murderous.

00:16:51.000 He had a lot of great sets.

00:16:53.000 Yeah.

00:16:53.000 On television.

00:16:54.000 Yeah.

00:16:56.000 But just like real original too.

00:16:58.000 Like one of those guys where you'd watch him and you'd go, God damn, why didn't I think of that? 0.98

00:17:01.000 Well, and his voices were so fucking good. 0.99

00:17:03.000 You know, a lot of times people do their girlfriend voice and it's just, it just sucks. 0.99

00:17:08.000 It just sounds like the guy raising his voice.

00:17:10.000 There's no like female intonation to it or anything. 0.95

00:17:14.000 And his kids' voices and his wife's girlfriend were just fucking amazing. 0.81

00:17:18.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:17:21.000 Oh, and then of course.

00:17:22.000 It's like Richard Pryor.

00:17:23.000 Richard Pryor said that.

00:17:25.000 I mean, he had so many characters in Living Color.

00:17:27.000 How about Handyman?

00:17:28.000 You could never do that today.

00:17:30.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:17:32.000 You could never do that today.

00:17:34.000 A homeless guy?

00:17:36.000 Dude, that's another show.

00:17:38.000 In Living Color is another show that people forget.

00:17:40.000 They forget how good it was.

00:17:42.000 Yeah.

00:17:42.000 Yeah, there he is.

00:17:44.000 There's Handyman.

00:17:44.000 They don't even show reruns of that show, do they?

00:17:47.000 They're afraid.

00:17:47.000 You can't show reruns of Handyman.

00:17:48.000 Yeah.

00:17:54.000 And I remember when it was on TV, man.

00:17:56.000 No one could stop saying, homie, don't play that. 0.97

00:17:59.000 Everybody would say that.

00:18:00.000 Everybody was like, homie, don't play that. 1.00

00:18:02.000 Like, every kid would say that.

00:18:04.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:18:04.000 Because homie the clown. 0.97

00:18:06.000 Homie, don't play that. 1.00

00:18:07.000 People forgot. 1.00

00:18:08.000 People fucking forgot about homie the clown. 0.99

00:18:12.000 They should come back, Netflix, please throw some money at getting in living color back on the air. 0.99

00:18:19.000 No, they tried to do it.

00:18:19.000 They just tried to do it.

00:18:20.000 And it all fell apart.

00:18:21.000 What happened?

00:18:22.000 I don't know.

00:18:22.000 They had big money.

00:18:23.000 And I don't know if it was going to be the original cast.

00:18:27.000 I might have been part of the original cast.

00:18:28.000 I bet what happened was Jennifer Lopez didn't want to be a fly girl. 1.00

00:18:31.000 Yeah, right.

00:18:32.000 She's like, no.

00:18:33.000 No. 1.00

00:18:34.000 She should jump on that shit. 1.00

00:18:35.000 That would be so cool. 1.00

00:18:36.000 Can you imagine if she jumped back in and was a fly girl again? 0.99

00:18:39.000 I mean, how much time would it take her? 0.99

00:18:40.000 Not that much time.

00:18:41.000 No, she's there.

00:18:42.000 She's there.

00:18:42.000 I mean, she probably could dance in her sleep, right?

00:18:44.000 Yep. 1.00

00:18:45.000 Damn. 1.00

00:18:46.000 I would love that. 1.00

00:18:46.000 She's too big to be a fly girl. 1.00

00:18:49.000 Yeah, but...

00:18:51.000 I wonder who else was a flagger.

00:18:53.000 Any other famous ones?

00:18:54.000 Dude, that show was so good.

00:18:56.000 I remember watching it.

00:18:57.000 I was playing pool in Yonkers, New York.

00:19:00.000 And I looked up at this TV set, and it was Jim Carrey doing the Fire Marshal Bill. 0.99

00:19:09.000 I was like, what the fuck is going on? 0.99

00:19:11.000 This guy's got a burnt up face. 0.99

00:19:13.000 That's exactly right.

00:19:15.000 Rosie Perez was the choreographer for the first four seasons.

00:19:19.000 Wow.

00:19:20.000 You know, Rosie Perez is a giant boxing fan.

00:19:22.000 Oh, yeah?

00:19:23.000 Huge, giant boxing fan.

00:19:24.000 Huh.

00:19:25.000 Yeah.

00:19:26.000 She's like a boxing expert. 1.00

00:19:28.000 Not like an expert, like she could train fighters, but people ask her questions about boxing.

00:19:33.000 She's a real enthusiast.

00:19:35.000 That's a better term instead of an expert.

00:19:36.000 I mean, maybe she is an expert.

00:19:37.000 I don't know.

00:19:38.000 Huh.

00:19:38.000 But she is always around boxing.

00:19:41.000 I think it's so...

00:19:42.000 Because you always think of her as having that...

00:19:44.000 Cute voice and all those comedies.

00:19:47.000 To see her at boxing matches and really be into it.

00:19:50.000 It's like, wow.

00:19:52.000 It's cool.

00:19:53.000 And Jim Carrey, I mean, Jesus Christ, he would do the convenience store security guy, and he was just so big.

00:20:02.000 So big.

00:20:03.000 So different than, like, I mean, you have to go back to Jerry Lewis to think about somebody doing physical comedy that well.

00:20:09.000 Yeah, he was a 10. Like, his energy and everything was, like, the fucking Ace Ventura movie. 0.94

00:20:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:20:17.000 Like, that movie was just all performance.

00:20:19.000 Yeah.

00:20:19.000 Like, what is this one?

00:20:20.000 Yeah.

00:20:20.000 What is this?

00:20:21.000 Vera DeMilo? 1.00

00:20:23.000 Dude, that fucking show was so good. 1.00

00:20:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:20:25.000 People forgot. 1.00

00:20:26.000 Yeah.

00:20:27.000 Yeah, there's Fire Marshal Bill. 0.99

00:20:29.000 So I was in this pool hall and I looked up and I'm like, what the fuck is that? 0.99

00:20:34.000 And they're like, that's Fire Marshal Bill. 0.99

00:20:36.000 That's what it is.

00:20:37.000 He came in like that. 1.00

00:20:38.000 I was like, that is the creepiest shit I've ever seen. 1.00

00:20:41.000 I can't believe they have a character like this. 1.00

00:20:43.000 It was so over the top.

00:20:45.000 Do you think Jim Carrey or maybe one of the Waynes brothers has bought up the rights for reruns because they don't want that...

00:20:55.000 Blowback?

00:20:55.000 Yeah.

00:20:57.000 No, it's a different era.

00:20:58.000 You have to accept it's a different era.

00:21:01.000 People are different.

00:21:03.000 Look, people are changing, and it's a really interesting, obvious sign that things that were super acceptable, and when was this?

00:21:11.000 In Living Color, I want to say it was like 92?

00:21:14.000 90 to 94. 90 to 94. Yeah, so that...

00:21:19.000 The way you could do certain bits and what you'd get away with and put on television was just different.

00:21:24.000 So I think that's probably one of the least understood things that's happening with us, with social media, is this rapid evolution of what's acceptable and not acceptable anymore.

00:21:39.000 And it's changing very quickly in terms of subjects, in terms of the way you approach things, in terms of obvious bigotry or obvious bias.

00:21:49.000 It's all getting very highlighted.

00:21:52.000 Well, I think the big question is whether or not you see an artist as somebody who's taking their inner vision and putting it out, and you go for the ride or you don't.

00:22:02.000 Or is it, are we supposed to be representing society in our stand-up?

00:22:07.000 Or is it all supposed to be fair, balanced representations of different ethnic groups and genders?

00:22:14.000 You know, and it's like...

00:22:16.000 Yeah.

00:22:23.000 Yeah.

00:22:33.000 Yeah, it's like, a real problem is that prejudice does exist.

00:22:39.000 So when it does exist, you kind of look for it in things and you say, hey, this has the characteristics of prejudice.

00:22:45.000 I see this here.

00:22:46.000 I see what you're doing here.

00:22:48.000 I think this is prejudice.

00:22:49.000 We say, no, no, no, this is making fun of Puerto Rican men.

00:22:53.000 This is not prejudice.

00:22:54.000 This is an account of real occurrences that I've turned into humor.

00:23:00.000 The flamboyant masculinity of Puerto Rican men. 1.00

00:23:05.000 In New York, if you thought of a type of Latino, sort of the bravado, the music, the food, everything spicy.

00:23:19.000 If you can't make fun of that, come on.

00:23:22.000 I know.

00:23:22.000 Colin Quinn does a whole thing about how...

00:23:23.000 It doesn't have to be racist, right?

00:23:25.000 Puerto Ricans are never inside or outside. 0.98

00:23:27.000 They're always both.

00:23:28.000 Like, there's always a window open and people on the inside and outside are talking.

00:23:32.000 The car door is always open.

00:23:34.000 They're half in the car.

00:23:35.000 They're half...

00:23:35.000 Right.

00:23:36.000 This isn't racist.

00:23:37.000 This is...

00:23:37.000 Observation.

00:23:38.000 Can I make an observation?

00:23:40.000 Can I tell you that yesterday, about twice a week, I go to this Japanese market in Mar Vista, and they've got all different kinds of, you know, you can get sushi, tempura, whatever. 0.98

00:23:51.000 The parking lot for this place, because 80% of the people there are Asian, film it and put it on a fucking television channel. 1.00

00:23:59.000 It is just people... 0.96

00:24:01.000 Why don't you produce it?

00:24:04.000 I could announce it like I was A.J. Foyt.

00:24:06.000 Dude, you're an Emmy Award winning writer.

00:24:07.000 You could actually do something like that.

00:24:09.000 You're like a legit writer.

00:24:11.000 You could totally produce that.

00:24:12.000 Can you imagine announcing it like NASCAR? It's just people not getting how to get out of a parking spot without taking 8K turns.

00:24:21.000 And people on the wrong side of the street and backing up without looking over their shoulders. 0.98

00:24:25.000 And they're all Asian and it's fucking hilarious. 1.00

00:24:27.000 I didn't tell them to do it. 0.98

00:24:29.000 I didn't say it was wrong.

00:24:32.000 But it's happening.

00:24:34.000 Yeah, they've explained it, why it's a stereotype, but also why Asian people would be more likely to walk straight.

00:24:46.000 If you go to China, or if you go to any of those Asian countries, when people walk straight at each other, they all kind of have this way of touching.

00:24:57.000 There's so many people, they're just grinding past each other.

00:25:00.000 Really?

00:25:00.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:01.000 So, when you're in China in particular, people are, like, indifferent to bumping into you.

00:25:07.000 It doesn't bother them at all.

00:25:09.000 They just bump into you.

00:25:10.000 Like, if you're in the aisle of a plane, they just bump into you.

00:25:13.000 Yeah.

00:25:14.000 Like, they'll do it to little kids.

00:25:15.000 Just walk right through you.

00:25:16.000 Right.

00:25:17.000 It's just, that's how they do it.

00:25:18.000 It's not rude.

00:25:19.000 It's just culturally different because it's more crowded.

00:25:22.000 Why can't you comment on that?

00:25:23.000 Why couldn't you comment on that if that's a real thing?

00:25:25.000 Because that is a real thing.

00:25:26.000 They do do that.

00:25:27.000 They also do a lot of great stuff.

00:25:30.000 It's a negative judgment on the entire race because they have this one characteristic.

00:25:34.000 But to ignore that one characteristic seems crazy.

00:25:38.000 It's like, why can't I talk about something?

00:25:41.000 It's not mean.

00:25:42.000 I'm not a bad person to talk about a real thing that you see and I see.

00:25:47.000 Like, what is that?

00:25:48.000 I get booed on stage sometimes now.

00:25:51.000 That never used to happen.

00:25:52.000 For what?

00:25:53.000 What do you say?

00:25:54.000 I did a joke.

00:25:55.000 We don't have to say the joke, but just like...

00:25:57.000 I'll say it.

00:25:58.000 I don't care because I don't think it's offensive.

00:26:00.000 But this person did.

00:26:02.000 And it was, you know, I go, oh, it's Girl Scout cookie season. 1.00

00:26:06.000 Those little whores are out there popping up their tables wherever you are selling those stale, shitty, overpriced cookies. 1.00

00:26:13.000 But you buy them because it makes you feel good, like you're a good person, you know? 1.00

00:26:17.000 And then you walk through the parking lot and some black kid comes up with a box of Snickers going, hey, will you support my basketball team? 1.00

00:26:23.000 And you're like, that's a fucking scam. 1.00

00:26:27.000 Guy goes, boo! 1.00

00:26:29.000 They're not all...

00:26:31.000 I'm like... 1.00

00:26:32.000 That's not what we're saying, stupid. 1.00

00:26:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:26:35.000 You're doing a character.

00:26:37.000 I'm commenting on a very real thing. 0.98

00:26:39.000 My entire life, I have bought Girl Scout cookies and I have not always bought that fucking Snickers bar in the subway or the... 0.98

00:26:48.000 Sometimes I do. 0.99

00:26:51.000 Yeah, the Girl Scout cookie is universally accepted.

00:26:56.000 Yeah.

00:26:56.000 Right?

00:26:57.000 But they only have like, the ones that I like are the ones, it's like a coconut one.

00:27:02.000 That's the one I like.

00:27:03.000 Chocolate on it.

00:27:04.000 Yeah.

00:27:04.000 You know that one?

00:27:05.000 Little caramel. 0.96

00:27:06.000 That one's pretty goddamn legit. 0.90

00:27:07.000 What was that one called? 0.87

00:27:11.000 The muff.

00:27:12.000 But then there's also, like, there's steps away from Girl Scout cookies where you don't have to participate.

00:27:17.000 Like, when kids come over with chocolate or candy.

00:27:20.000 Like, nah, thanks.

00:27:21.000 I'm good.

00:27:21.000 I don't eat that stuff.

00:27:22.000 Like, you kind of have to buy Girl Scout cookies.

00:27:24.000 You want to support the Girl Scouts.

00:27:25.000 Yeah, but you know it's such a scam?

00:27:26.000 All that money goes to the manufacturer.

00:27:28.000 Apparently the Girl Scouts make, like, 20% of the cookie money.

00:27:32.000 Really? 1.00

00:27:32.000 Yeah, they're getting fucked. 1.00

00:27:34.000 Girl Scouts are getting fucked. 1.00

00:27:36.000 Of course! 1.00

00:27:36.000 Someone came in, some ruthless man probably. 1.00

00:27:40.000 Samoa.

00:27:41.000 Samoa, that's exactly what it is. 1.00

00:27:43.000 Those are the shit. 1.00

00:27:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:45.000 With milk?

00:27:46.000 With a cold glass of milk?

00:27:47.000 Yeah.

00:27:48.000 Dunk them?

00:27:49.000 Yep. 1.00

00:27:50.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:27:51.000 Yeah, it almost tastes like meat. 1.00

00:27:52.000 Oh, look at that thing. 1.00

00:27:54.000 Look at it.

00:27:55.000 With its chocolatey, coconutty goodness.

00:27:58.000 Why do they have to be so bad for you?

00:28:00.000 When I was working on a TV show, one of the producers had a daughter who was in the Girl Scouts, and I guess you win contests if you sell the most cookie boxes.

00:28:13.000 So when the audience would stream out after the show, it was a daily show, and the audience would stream out, and the girl had a table set up to sell her cookies, and she was selling a hundred boxes a day.

00:28:26.000 And for every day, she was there. 0.99

00:28:29.000 Fucking won that contest. 1.00

00:28:30.000 Damn. 1.00

00:28:35.000 And they would have the audience warm-up guy, like, plug it during the show. 1.00

00:28:38.000 Like, after the show, like a comedian selling his CDs.

00:28:40.000 After the show, you can buy some Girl Scout cookies on the way out. 0.52

00:28:44.000 And all these fat people from the Midwest are like, Cookies! 0.99

00:28:51.000 Like Marie Callender's, they just have pie. 0.98

00:28:54.000 Just pie.

00:28:55.000 Just pie.

00:28:57.000 Yep.

00:28:58.000 Not even good pie.

00:28:59.000 It's good, but it's not great considering it's all they do.

00:29:01.000 I should have eaten there.

00:29:03.000 I don't think I've ever eaten there.

00:29:04.000 Maybe I ate at one.

00:29:05.000 I don't think I had their pie.

00:29:08.000 That seems a weird thing.

00:29:09.000 Like, I'm selling pies.

00:29:11.000 They'd be like, good luck.

00:29:13.000 Good luck selling pies.

00:29:15.000 You're gonna go broke.

00:29:18.000 But they're everywhere.

00:29:19.000 We know you have an oven.

00:29:20.000 There's a bunch of those.

00:29:21.000 We know you have flour.

00:29:22.000 Yeah.

00:29:22.000 Branch out a little bit.

00:29:23.000 Like, who the fuck gets famous for selling pies? 0.99

00:29:27.000 Like, how genius is that company? 0.99

00:29:29.000 Entman's.

00:29:29.000 Remember Entman's?

00:29:31.000 Entman's, yeah.

00:29:31.000 But then they broke out.

00:29:33.000 They started doing cakes and cookies, too.

00:29:35.000 But they did just pies for a long time.

00:29:37.000 Dude, they used to have this...

00:29:39.000 This... 0.99

00:29:40.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:29:41.000 This pastry. 1.00

00:29:42.000 I'm trying to think of what the hell it was.

00:29:45.000 But it had, like...

00:29:46.000 Like...

00:29:48.000 Hard sugar on the outside of it.

00:29:50.000 Yeah.

00:29:51.000 And then it had some sort of creamy sweet stuff on the inside of it.

00:29:54.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:29:54.000 Holy shit was it good. 0.98

00:29:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:57.000 God damn it. 1.00

00:29:58.000 We lived off that shit. 1.00

00:29:59.000 We had Edmonds every night. 1.00

00:30:00.000 They had one that had like a chocolate filling in it.

00:30:03.000 What was that one?

00:30:04.000 And it was powdered outside.

00:30:05.000 Cheese filled crumb.

00:30:07.000 It might have been that.

00:30:08.000 They went out of business and then they saved them.

00:30:09.000 Oh, that was the cheese one.

00:30:11.000 That was a good one too.

00:30:12.000 I remember the cheese filled crumb.

00:30:14.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:30:15.000 They had some ridiculously delicious shit. 1.00

00:30:17.000 Yeah, what are the other big ones? 1.00

00:30:19.000 You know, I decided to fight in a tournament once because I had a crazy sugar high from Dunkin' Donuts.

00:30:27.000 I'd hurt myself.

00:30:29.000 I'd hurt something in my crotch and I couldn't work out for like a week. 0.86

00:30:32.000 I pulled some sort of a muscle.

00:30:34.000 There was a big tournament that was coming up.

00:30:37.000 And all the guys that I competed with were going to this tournament.

00:30:40.000 I was like, I had just fought like a week before.

00:30:43.000 I was like, I don't think I can do it.

00:30:44.000 I'm like, this doesn't feel right.

00:30:45.000 I'm just going to take the whole week off.

00:30:47.000 So I decided I'm just going to take off, let this thing heal.

00:30:50.000 And so delivering my newspapers.

00:30:52.000 And I go to Dunkin' Donuts and I got this powdered, lemon-filled donut.

00:30:57.000 I got one of those and I got a Boston cream donut.

00:31:01.000 And I got one of those. 0.99

00:31:03.000 And I ate like three donuts because I'd be exhausted, tired, drinking coffee, delivering fucking newspapers for three hours. 1.00

00:31:10.000 And I was so jacked on sugar and coffee that I said, fuck it, I want to fight. 0.99

00:31:17.000 And so I drove into town like right before everybody was leaving. 0.99

00:31:23.000 They're like, why are you here?

00:31:24.000 I said, I'm going to fight anyway, man.

00:31:27.000 Like Beavis and Butthead.

00:31:29.000 I won.

00:31:29.000 I won the tournament.

00:31:30.000 It was a giant tournament.

00:31:32.000 For me, it was big.

00:31:33.000 It was the American Open.

00:31:35.000 It was a big deal.

00:31:37.000 Wow.

00:31:37.000 Yeah.

00:31:38.000 I wasn't going to do it.

00:31:39.000 I got jacked up on sugar and made a rash decision.

00:31:42.000 I can see you winning the first match, but then you crash, and you gotta keep fighting.

00:31:48.000 No, it worked out somehow or another.

00:31:50.000 I guess I ate when I got there, too.

00:31:52.000 But also, the week off, I'd never done that, like taking a week off.

00:31:55.000 Sometimes when you do something like that, where if you exercise too much, you're really always in a state of recovery.

00:32:03.000 Yeah.

00:32:04.000 And your body doesn't get a chance to fully charge back up again.

00:32:07.000 So at the time, I was probably 19, and I was going hard every day, every day that I could.

00:32:12.000 So I'd never really taken a week off.

00:32:13.000 So taking a week off and just being like, wow, this is gross.

00:32:16.000 I did take a week off when I started getting laid.

00:32:18.000 Yeah.

00:32:19.000 That is one thing that happened.

00:32:20.000 The first time you got laid?

00:32:21.000 Yeah.

00:32:22.000 When I first started getting laid, I took a long time off when I got yelled at.

00:32:27.000 Yeah.

00:32:28.000 I got yelled at.

00:32:29.000 I wasn't doing any training. 0.99

00:32:30.000 I came back all tan and shit. 0.98

00:32:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:32:37.000 All you did was fuck. 1.00

00:32:38.000 That's a workout. 1.00

00:32:39.000 At that age, that's a workout.

00:32:41.000 You know, those weren't 20-minute sessions. 1.00

00:32:44.000 It's weird how your body changes from no urge to fuck to, like, fucking is your whole life. 1.00

00:32:53.000 Like, when you're 18 years old, it's your whole life. 1.00

00:32:57.000 Like, you found the craziest drug ever.

00:33:00.000 And, like, two years ago, it wasn't in your life.

00:33:02.000 And then all of a sudden, it's in your life.

00:33:04.000 And all of a sudden you're having sex. 0.63

00:33:06.000 And you're like, I can't believe this!

00:33:08.000 And you can't believe that women are letting you do it because for years they were stopping you and now they're initiating it. 1.00

00:33:15.000 Yes.

00:33:16.000 You can't believe they want it. 1.00

00:33:17.000 You actually want me to fuck you. 1.00

00:33:18.000 This is what you like? 1.00

00:33:20.000 Yeah.

00:33:20.000 Okay.

00:33:21.000 Feels wrong.

00:33:23.000 But if you insist.

00:33:25.000 Feels wrong that you like it.

00:33:26.000 Isn't that a weird mentality that we think it's wrong that they like it?

00:33:29.000 Is that a Christian thing?

00:33:30.000 It's so crazy!

00:33:32.000 I think it has to do with initially, if you read Sex at Dawn, he's got a really interesting series of thoughts on the origins of I think?

00:34:02.000 I think it had to do with it was too easy for a girl to get pregnant. 0.94

00:34:06.000 And if a girl got pregnant back when people were fucking just barely making it out of the caves, it was either really good because you had food or it was a real burden because you had to take care of this baby now. 0.91

00:34:17.000 Now you're not going to be gathering food for us. 0.96

00:34:20.000 I think there was a lot of that going on.

00:34:22.000 So if you were going to be with a person and you decided to make babies, you've got to be sure that this person is going to be there and take care of everything and you're all set up.

00:34:32.000 So you can't just be banging a bunch of guys on the side and having kids with everybody, then who's gonna raise your kids?

00:34:37.000 This guy's gonna come over and talk to his kid, and he's gonna come over and talk to his kid.

00:34:41.000 Yeah.

00:34:42.000 That becomes a problem.

00:34:43.000 Right.

00:34:43.000 And the amazing thing is that having kids back then, for guys, the reason why guys stuck around was, you know, we have 401ks and IRA accounts.

00:34:54.000 Back then, it's like, when you couldn't gather anymore, you were at the mercy of charity.

00:34:58.000 And so if you had a lot of kids, you had a chance of being able to actually live into your old age.

00:35:02.000 Yeah.

00:35:03.000 Yeah, they would take care of you.

00:35:04.000 Yeah.

00:35:05.000 It's also interesting, too, because there was so much infant mortality back then.

00:35:11.000 That there was a lot of places where there's real good evidence that they had fertility cults.

00:35:17.000 Like they were trying to figure out ways to get pregnant more and easier.

00:35:21.000 Really?

00:35:21.000 They're just trying to have a bunch of kids.

00:35:22.000 Yeah, because kids were...

00:35:23.000 You know, kids died a lot back then.

00:35:26.000 Yeah.

00:35:27.000 They died from injury and sickness, and a lot of people died from sickness.

00:35:30.000 You know, no vaccines.

00:35:32.000 Right.

00:35:32.000 When you're just at the mercy.

00:35:34.000 And then also, it's the beginning of agriculture.

00:35:36.000 So all these diseases are emerging that we don't have immune systems for because they're being...

00:35:42.000 They're jumping from pigs to people.

00:35:45.000 They're jumping from chickens and birds to people.

00:35:48.000 That's where the source of most of these pandemic diseases come from.

00:35:51.000 It comes from large-scale agriculture.

00:35:53.000 Those funky pigs all tucked together in these little cages. 1.00

00:35:57.000 That doesn't come for free. 0.99

00:35:58.000 Some demons are being brewed in that mix.

00:36:01.000 Oh, yeah.

00:36:02.000 What was the source of the Spanish flu, which I think...

00:36:09.000 It was the most deadly epidemic in U.S. history.

00:36:14.000 Oh, is that right?

00:36:15.000 It was international, too, wasn't it?

00:36:17.000 Yeah, it was international, for sure.

00:36:18.000 I think, for sure, it was the most deadly epidemic in the U.S. Yeah.

00:36:23.000 But I don't think it came from Spain.

00:36:26.000 I want to say it came from somewhere around Virginia. 1.00

00:36:31.000 Is that bullshit? 0.99

00:36:33.000 This is going to take time. 1.00

00:36:34.000 Probably New Jersey.

00:36:35.000 I feel like it came from some sort of farm situation.

00:36:39.000 Yeah.

00:36:39.000 I don't know why.

00:36:41.000 I feel like I'm guessing that.

00:36:43.000 I'm surprised there's not more of that now, because you see some of these pig farms, and they have lakes.

00:36:48.000 There are lakes of waste.

00:36:50.000 Have you seen the drone footage?

00:36:52.000 Is that what we're talking about?

00:36:52.000 No.

00:36:53.000 Oh, my God.

00:36:54.000 Some guy flew it.

00:36:55.000 You know, because they have these ag-gag laws, which apparently one of them just got shot down.

00:37:00.000 Somebody sent me an email.

00:37:04.000 Maybe it was Idaho or Iowa, one of those places, one of those I-states, that the ag-gag laws got shut down.

00:37:13.000 The ag-gag laws are, say if you were working in a slaughterhouse and you saw horrific conditions, you got your cell phone out, you filmed it, you could get prosecuted. 0.90

00:37:22.000 You would go to jail.

00:37:24.000 You could be sued.

00:37:25.000 Because of Food, Inc.

00:37:26.000 and all those documentaries that came out.

00:37:28.000 Well, I think those ag-gag laws existed as soon as they figured out that people could film things. 0.73

00:37:33.000 Yeah.

00:37:33.000 You know, because a few people released videos of her.

00:37:36.000 And look, those ag-gag laws kept people from talking about a lot of creepy shit like this video. 0.99

00:37:44.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:37:45.000 If you see this video, this guy decided, since no one's going to give him access to film the place openly, he's going to fly over it.

00:37:52.000 So he flew over it with a drone.

00:37:54.000 So this is the Spanish flu thing.

00:37:55.000 Okay.

00:37:56.000 For many years, medical historians and epidemiologists hypothesized that the outbreak could have started in a British army base in Etaples, France, or at Fort Riley in Kansas, where the first American cases of the new strain of flu were recorded in March of 1918. More recently,

00:38:15.000 experts have proposed a third hypothesis.

00:38:18.000 The Spanish flu originated somewhere in northern China in late 1917 and swiftly moved to Eastern Europe Within 140,000 Chinese laborers and the French and British governments recruited to perform manual labor to free up the troops for wartime duty.

00:38:35.000 Wow.

00:38:36.000 Yeah, I think more people died of that than they died in World War I. I think so. 0.93

00:38:40.000 50 million people were killed because of this. 1.00

00:38:44.000 Damn! 1.00

00:38:45.000 Whoa! 1.00

00:38:46.000 Just think about corpse disposal of 50 million people.

00:38:50.000 Look at this.

00:38:52.000 It says, claiming more lives in a single year than either the First World War or the four-year-long Black Death bubonic plague outbreak that swept Europe and Asia in the Middle Ages.

00:39:04.000 And this is one that, for whatever reason, people talk about the plague.

00:39:09.000 They talk about...

00:39:10.000 The bubonic plague, but no one talks about the Spanish flu.

00:39:14.000 That's a rare...

00:39:15.000 It doesn't get brought up that often.

00:39:17.000 If you see this number, this number of people dying, 50 million people in a year.

00:39:22.000 In a year, man.

00:39:24.000 People talk about how bad the world is right now, but that's not what they're saying.

00:39:28.000 They're saying it killed more lives in a single year than either the First World War or the four-year-long black death. 0.83

00:39:34.000 It may have killed, and one-third of the population was sick with it, at least.

00:39:39.000 They didn't all die. 1.00

00:39:41.000 Goddamn. 0.99

00:39:41.000 I mean, people think that the world is in such bad shape. 0.99

00:39:45.000 We don't have plagues.

00:39:47.000 You know, the average poverty rate in the world has gone up for like the last 10 years.

00:39:56.000 There's less poverty, there's less starvation, there's more education. 0.73

00:40:00.000 You know, there's a lot of good shit going on too, but just think about that. 0.96

00:40:04.000 We haven't had a world war in, what, 70 years? 0.99

00:40:10.000 Yeah.

00:40:11.000 Yeah, it's been quite a while.

00:40:13.000 Not to diminish the wars that are happening now, but something that really affected the entire population.

00:40:19.000 Don't you always feel like, even since high school, that it's always been around the corner?

00:40:23.000 Yeah.

00:40:24.000 When we were in high school, it was the big fear that we were going to go to war with the Russians.

00:40:27.000 Do you remember going into the coat room and putting your head between your knees?

00:40:30.000 Did you have to do that?

00:40:31.000 I don't think we did that.

00:40:32.000 We used to do those.

00:40:33.000 We did the get under the desk drill, which was hilarious.

00:40:37.000 Get out of the desk. 1.00

00:40:39.000 It's so stupid. 1.00

00:40:41.000 Like, bitch, this is a nuclear war. 1.00

00:40:44.000 Dude, they used to tell you. 1.00

00:40:45.000 You're gonna get under your desk.

00:40:46.000 As if they had some way to alleviate our stress.

00:40:49.000 Yeah, I know.

00:40:49.000 By pretending.

00:40:50.000 Right.

00:40:50.000 If we get under the desk.

00:40:51.000 They want to give you an answer.

00:40:52.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:40:54.000 Yeah, nobody knew what the fuck to do, so they just made up some nonsense. 0.99

00:40:58.000 Just get under your desk. 0.99

00:41:00.000 Duck and cover.

00:41:00.000 Nuclear war.

00:41:01.000 Duck and cover.

00:41:02.000 Nuclear war.

00:41:04.000 That linoleum is going to save your life.

00:41:06.000 Yeah, look at this.

00:41:07.000 This is the drill.

00:41:08.000 All these little kids underneath their tables. 1.00

00:41:10.000 What a fucked up thing to put in a kid's head, man. 1.00

00:41:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:41:13.000 Just stop and think about how close we were to doing something so stupid that this could have become a reality and how now think about how this is a reality in certain parts of the world. 1.00

00:41:26.000 In our place, it's not. 0.98

00:41:28.000 But in other places, it is.

00:41:31.000 And that's their life.

00:41:33.000 I mean, especially when it comes to things like drone warfare, that freaks me out. 0.59

00:41:40.000 I know it's very effective at shooting terrorists.

00:41:42.000 I know it is. 0.61

00:41:43.000 I know it's excellent. 0.98

00:41:44.000 It's also super effective at killing civilians. 0.93

00:41:47.000 Super effective.

00:41:49.000 Yeah, and there's something about, when you think about how we're being perceived in the rest of the world, there's something about not even being present for the accidental killing that makes it just, you know, twice as bad.

00:42:03.000 It just seems weird, and apparently it gives them pretty severe PTSD. Yeah.

00:42:08.000 You know, I'm laughing because I'm, like, thinking, like, that's so crazy.

00:42:11.000 Like, they don't even have to be there, and they're getting PTSD. Like, just the fact that they're doing it from a remote location.

00:42:18.000 Oh, yeah, I heard that.

00:42:19.000 Yeah, the pilots are freaking—some of them.

00:42:21.000 Yeah.

00:42:22.000 By the way, this is just what I'm reading.

00:42:24.000 It might not even be true.

00:42:25.000 No, I read that, too. 1.00

00:42:27.000 But I would imagine that would kind of fuck with your head. 0.99

00:42:31.000 Yeah, the first couple times would be fun. 0.99

00:42:33.000 It'd be like a video game.

00:42:35.000 And then it would start to sink in when you heard the reports later.

00:42:39.000 Yeah, you'd have to so detach yourself from it that it would be like this growing thing in the back of your mind.

00:42:47.000 Yeah.

00:42:47.000 You're just launching missiles into apartment buildings.

00:42:51.000 All right.

00:42:53.000 And they're telling you it's okay.

00:42:55.000 Everybody says it's okay.

00:42:56.000 It's what you're supposed to do.

00:42:58.000 When I talked to this gentleman that I know that was in the CIA, he said that all those decisions are done by lawyers.

00:43:06.000 Oh, really?

00:43:07.000 Yeah.

00:43:07.000 Whether or not they do it or not do it, because at the end of the day, lawyers are deciding whether or not it's likely to be successful, what's the legal ramifications.

00:43:16.000 He goes, when you're talking about that kind of stuff, he's like, seriously, a lot of it's decided by lawyers.

00:43:22.000 I'm like, whoa!

00:43:23.000 Because they want to know if you corroborated the citing.

00:43:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:43:28.000 And they want to make sure that all the ducks are in order.

00:43:30.000 Yeah.

00:43:31.000 Which, I mean, is that better or is that worse?

00:43:33.000 I mean, is it better to just leave it to the generals to decide?

00:43:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:36.000 You know, you get this cartoonish impression of what that would be like, some general, like the fucking guy from Avatar. 0.99

00:43:43.000 We're going to go down there. 1.00

00:43:45.000 We're going to fuck everybody up. 1.00

00:43:46.000 That's what everybody's worried about, right? 1.00

00:43:48.000 The cartoonish, out-of-control, murderous soldier, right?

00:43:55.000 Yeah, what was the Kubrick movie?

00:43:58.000 Oh, Full Metal Jacket.

00:44:00.000 No, the one with the Peter Sellers was in it, and it was about how I something the nuclear bomb.

00:44:07.000 Oh, yes.

00:44:09.000 Dr. Strangelove.

00:44:10.000 Yeah, like the general in that.

00:44:12.000 Yes.

00:44:13.000 Yeah, they're always like cartoonish.

00:44:14.000 Yeah.

00:44:16.000 Man, you better hope guys like that are on your side.

00:44:19.000 Dr. Strangelove, that was a great movie, man.

00:44:21.000 It's so weird to watch it today.

00:44:22.000 Yeah.

00:44:23.000 I watched it a few years back.

00:44:24.000 Did you really?

00:44:25.000 Yeah, like maybe four or five years back I watched it.

00:44:27.000 And I was like, wow, it's so wild to watch.

00:44:29.000 These little captured moments in time where you could see that people were different then.

00:44:36.000 Yeah.

00:44:36.000 Like old movies, when you watch old movies, you know what the biggest indication that something's different is?

00:44:43.000 Women didn't work out then. 1.00

00:44:45.000 Yeah.

00:44:46.000 They weren't, like, fit.

00:44:47.000 Like, we're used to seeing a lot of actresses that are on TV and then in movies. 1.00

00:44:52.000 They all do, like, CrossFit or something.

00:44:55.000 They're all working out.

00:44:56.000 They're all taking gymnastics or something. 0.94

00:44:59.000 They're doing spin classes, and they have trainers, and they're doing these box jumps and shit. 0.89

00:45:04.000 Like, girls are built now. 1.00

00:45:06.000 It's a different thing.

00:45:07.000 If you go look at, like, King Kong, look at, like, Fay Wray and King Kong.

00:45:11.000 They're just soft.

00:45:12.000 They just...

00:45:13.000 They're not even picking up their groceries.

00:45:16.000 They're built different.

00:45:17.000 Yeah, and they don't last.

00:45:18.000 If they didn't do manual labor, they don't last.

00:45:22.000 Some of them do.

00:45:23.000 When they do, it's a shock.

00:45:24.000 Like Raquel Welch, like deep into her 60s. 0.98

00:45:26.000 Like, Jesus!

00:45:27.000 She's still hot! 1.00

00:45:28.000 Sophia Loren right to the end.

00:45:30.000 Oh, Jesus!

00:45:31.000 Yeah.

00:45:31.000 It's a few of them that were so potent that their spell lasted their entire existence.

00:45:37.000 Did this start with the Jane Fonda workout stuff?

00:45:39.000 Oh, yeah.

00:45:40.000 Jane Fonda, back in the day with the doggy thing.

00:45:42.000 What was that, like 1977?

00:45:45.000 Let's get physical! 0.91

00:45:48.000 I want to get physical!

00:45:51.000 Let's get into physical!

00:45:52.000 That was crazy! 0.99

00:45:53.000 That was so fucking big. 0.99

00:45:55.000 It was the first time women were marketed to for exercise. 0.99

00:45:58.000 I think so.

00:45:59.000 I think so. 0.64

00:46:00.000 I think before that, women maybe competed in athletic events like gymnastics and shit like that when they were young, but then when they probably got families or moved on to jobs, they probably stopped. 1.00

00:46:11.000 What is this one, Jamie?

00:46:12.000 National Aerobic Championship, 1998. Oh my god.

00:46:16.000 Look at this is a choreographed dance.

00:46:19.000 This is so strange.

00:46:20.000 Wow.

00:46:21.000 Oh, that's right.

00:46:22.000 Do you remember aerobics?

00:46:23.000 Aerobics.

00:46:24.000 I'm going to take an aerobics class.

00:46:26.000 Yeah.

00:46:26.000 You remember that?

00:46:27.000 I'd be kind.

00:46:27.000 People would just dance around and you would do stuff.

00:46:30.000 Feel the pump.

00:46:31.000 The pump.

00:46:32.000 The pump.

00:46:32.000 And two and three and go.

00:46:35.000 They turned everybody gay for about five years. 0.93

00:46:37.000 Look at all these guys. 0.82

00:46:38.000 Look at these guys. 1.00

00:46:39.000 These guys are straight as fuck and they don't even know they're doing gay stuff. 1.00

00:46:43.000 You know what it's like? 1.00

00:46:44.000 It's like before everybody knew that Rob Halford From Judas Priest is gay.

00:46:51.000 He used to make everybody dress up like him.

00:46:54.000 Because everybody, like kids that were straight kids, they were huge fans of Judas Priest.

00:46:58.000 They would wear the cap and the jet.

00:47:00.000 They were wearing gay aesthetic. 0.96

00:47:02.000 Like gay, biker-looking, tough guy. 1.00

00:47:06.000 Everybody got into it because they loved him. 0.99

00:47:09.000 Because Judas Priest was so badass and he's such a fucking awesome front man that he had straight guys dressing up like a gay biker. 0.99

00:47:17.000 That's fucking hilarious. 0.99

00:47:19.000 And then he comes out and they're all so confused. 0.99

00:47:23.000 He did it at a concert.

00:47:24.000 There's 100,000 of them.

00:47:25.000 No, I'm just saying what he did.

00:47:26.000 And they look down and they're all wearing.

00:47:28.000 What you're wearing is what I like in my men.

00:47:33.000 I had him on a show I did once.

00:47:36.000 It was like this thing for VH1 called The List.

00:47:41.000 Oh yeah, I did that.

00:47:42.000 You did it too?

00:47:43.000 Yeah, here he is.

00:47:44.000 Look at that.

00:47:44.000 I mean, look at the outfit, bro.

00:47:46.000 Seriously.

00:47:47.000 Wow.

00:47:47.000 With the leather paperboy hat on.

00:47:49.000 Yep.

00:47:50.000 Or it's more like a soldier's hat.

00:47:52.000 And he's got leather vest on with no shirt underneath, leather gloves with spikes. 1.00

00:47:57.000 It's all S&M shit. 1.00

00:47:58.000 Yep. 1.00

00:47:58.000 Tight, tight, tight leather pants. 1.00

00:48:00.000 It's hilarious.

00:48:03.000 It's like Freddie Mercury.

00:48:05.000 Yeah, man.

00:48:07.000 What was my point?

00:48:09.000 Well, we were talking about something right before we were talking about that.

00:48:13.000 Oh, the aerobics.

00:48:14.000 Oh, yeah.

00:48:15.000 The aerobics guys.

00:48:16.000 Like, come on, man.

00:48:16.000 They had dudes wearing singles.

00:48:18.000 Look at this.

00:48:19.000 Look at this outfit.

00:48:21.000 That's like a singlet from wrestling, but with long pants.

00:48:24.000 Yeah.

00:48:24.000 This is bananas that they got men to dress like this.

00:48:28.000 Look at what they're wearing. 0.99

00:48:29.000 You see their nipples? 0.99

00:48:30.000 Like, their nipples are popped out. 1.00

00:48:33.000 They're all super gayed out. 1.00

00:48:35.000 These are probably straight men. 0.92

00:48:37.000 And they've got those three-quarter length Reebok high tops? 1.00

00:48:40.000 Exactly, with the Velcro.

00:48:41.000 You had to get the Velcro.

00:48:42.000 That's the newest technology.

00:48:45.000 Yeah.

00:48:45.000 So look, every girl is dressed like, you know, I guess they look more like, well, they have two different outfits.

00:48:52.000 The girls have some of them exposed the mid-drift. 1.00

00:48:54.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:48:55.000 Like, the dirty girls that they are. 1.00

00:48:57.000 And the other ones, they wear a one-piece. 0.98

00:49:00.000 Here comes Alan Thicke. 1.00

00:49:01.000 Oh, Alan Thicke was hosting this motherfucker. 1.00

00:49:03.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:49:04.000 Of course he was. 1.00

00:49:05.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:49:06.000 Look at him. 1.00

00:49:06.000 Look at that hair. 1.00

00:49:07.000 It's wonderful.

00:49:09.000 Look at his jacket.

00:49:11.000 Solve Miami Vice doubt.

00:49:13.000 Yeah, he's got shoulder pads.

00:49:15.000 Yeah, you gotta get rid of the shoulder pads.

00:49:18.000 Back then, you could have shoulder pads.

00:49:20.000 Yeah, I remember having shoulder pads in my first jacket.

00:49:23.000 It's nice.

00:49:24.000 Makes you look better.

00:49:24.000 Yeah.

00:49:27.000 It isn't like a stuffed bra for a girl.

00:49:29.000 It is.

00:49:30.000 Yeah.

00:49:30.000 It's the same thing.

00:49:31.000 Yeah.

00:49:32.000 But how weird that people...

00:49:33.000 So, do you remember people actually dressing like that in a class situation?

00:49:38.000 Did they go to classes?

00:49:39.000 Dressed like that?

00:49:40.000 I was in grade school.

00:49:42.000 We had uniforms and stuff, so no, I never saw anything like that.

00:49:45.000 I never took an aerobics class, but see if you can find video footage of an aerobics class.

00:49:50.000 If all the guys are dressed like that, those dudes got punked.

00:49:53.000 Yeah.

00:49:53.000 Somebody talked them into dressing like a dancer.

00:49:55.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:49:57.000 And they're not showing their kids this video.

00:50:00.000 Why not? 1.00

00:50:02.000 So you used to be stupid. 1.00

00:50:04.000 So what? 1.00

00:50:05.000 If you're stupid once, you're stupid forever? 1.00

00:50:07.000 Is that real? 1.00

00:50:08.000 Come on. 1.00

00:50:09.000 And your kids love seeing you looking stupid, too. 1.00

00:50:11.000 And you should tell them. 1.00

00:50:12.000 I eat a mullet.

00:50:13.000 They laugh.

00:50:14.000 One thing that I always do when I tell my kids if they do something wrong, if they've done something wrong, I say, I did worse.

00:50:20.000 Way worse.

00:50:20.000 I did exactly what you did.

00:50:22.000 And I lied about it.

00:50:23.000 I always lied.

00:50:24.000 My parents asked me if I did anything wrong.

00:50:26.000 I always lied.

00:50:27.000 And I'm like, I know if you did something or you didn't do it.

00:50:29.000 I'm not mad at you.

00:50:30.000 I'm just trying to make you not do it in the future because I want you to learn why it's bad.

00:50:36.000 Yeah.

00:50:36.000 That's good.

00:50:37.000 That's good.

00:50:38.000 The number one thing I always do.

00:50:39.000 Right.

00:50:39.000 And I get mad sometimes.

00:50:41.000 I mean, it's just there's no way you can't.

00:50:43.000 Sometimes, especially as they get older.

00:50:45.000 They get upset about things and you gotta calm down.

00:50:48.000 You gotta figure out how to calm down.

00:50:51.000 Stop screaming at each other.

00:50:53.000 Sisters scream at each other.

00:50:54.000 You took my thing.

00:50:56.000 That's mine.

00:50:57.000 No, it's not.

00:50:57.000 You gave it to me.

00:50:58.000 No, but I can take it back.

00:51:01.000 It's amazing the pitch they can get.

00:51:03.000 Because usually when people get that hostile to each other, you're worried there's going to be a physical fight.

00:51:08.000 Yes!

00:51:08.000 But sisters can take it to three times that level.

00:51:12.000 It makes you so uncomfortable.

00:51:13.000 But then they'll cuddle with each other.

00:51:15.000 They love each other.

00:51:16.000 Yeah.

00:51:16.000 It's funny.

00:51:17.000 That's sweet.

00:51:18.000 What's the race difference?

00:51:19.000 Two years.

00:51:20.000 Yeah, that's good.

00:51:20.000 It's interesting watching them evolve.

00:51:23.000 Like watching them learn new facts and learn new things and watch their little brain fill with information.

00:51:30.000 Their vocabulary starts growing.

00:51:31.000 Yeah.

00:51:32.000 And you're like, wow.

00:51:33.000 Yeah.

00:51:34.000 And you realize, I mean, I've said this before, but it bears repeating.

00:51:38.000 We look at people in a static state. 1.00

00:51:41.000 We're always looking at people, like if I see a guy and he's 40 years old and he's an asshole. 1.00

00:51:46.000 Oh, that's that 40-year-old asshole. 1.00

00:51:48.000 That fucking guy. 1.00

00:51:49.000 I know that guy. 1.00

00:51:50.000 That guy's so old. 0.59

00:51:53.000 But you don't think, oh, that was a baby.

00:51:54.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:51:55.000 That was a baby with a bunch of shitty data thrown at him. 0.99

00:51:59.000 A bunch of shitty interactions, bad genes, bad environment, maybe some alcoholism. 0.99

00:52:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:52:06.000 Maybe some... 0.99

00:52:08.000 Throw it in.

00:52:08.000 All of it.

00:52:09.000 Right.

00:52:09.000 A little ADHD. Bad nutrition.

00:52:13.000 Throw it all in there.

00:52:14.000 Throw it all in there.

00:52:14.000 A bunch of bad breaks in life.

00:52:16.000 Throw it all in there.

00:52:17.000 You know?

00:52:17.000 And that happens to...

00:52:19.000 So many people.

00:52:20.000 So you look at them and instead of...

00:52:22.000 I always look at what they are now.

00:52:24.000 Like, ah, this guy.

00:52:26.000 But what they are, all of them, including you and me, is a baby that became an older thing. 0.98

00:52:33.000 You know, and a great deal of people whose lives are chaotically fucked up. 0.95

00:52:40.000 It's through no fault of their own. 0.97

00:52:42.000 It's a great deal of them.

00:52:43.000 It's a large number.

00:52:44.000 Right.

00:52:45.000 You know?

00:52:46.000 And as of...

00:52:48.000 Gotten older and try to be more compassionate and more understanding, more patient.

00:52:54.000 Those are things that I worked on a lot.

00:52:57.000 And I still struggle with it.

00:52:59.000 But I don't think that's anything you ever really totally get over, but you get better.

00:53:04.000 I've seen it in you a lot over the years.

00:53:08.000 You're a lot more patient.

00:53:09.000 Yeah.

00:53:10.000 I think a lot of that has to do with just getting better at being a person when you work on it.

00:53:17.000 But I think also a lot of it has to do with the change of my attitude about people.

00:53:23.000 I started to think of them as a product of a lot of different interactions.

00:53:31.000 You hear the term white privilege? 0.99

00:53:34.000 It's a fucked up term, right? 0.99

00:53:35.000 It's weird. 0.98

00:53:37.000 But you have to admit, if you're a person and nothing completely catastrophic has happened to you, and you became this 50-year-old successful comedian that's an Emmy award-winning writer, and like,

00:53:53.000 yeah, bad things happen to you, right? 0.66

00:53:55.000 But they could have been fucking way worse. 0.96

00:53:59.000 It could have been way worse. 0.99

00:54:00.000 And for some people, it is fucking way worse. 1.00

00:54:03.000 They just got a shit roll of the dice from the jump. 1.00

00:54:08.000 And it's been bad experience after bad experience and fucking abuse and violence and jail. 1.00

00:54:16.000 You can't get out. 0.99

00:54:17.000 There's no way out.

00:54:18.000 You can't even read.

00:54:19.000 It's just like you're frothing around at sea trying to keep your head above water.

00:54:22.000 Yeah.

00:54:24.000 And you run into them when they're 32 at a gas station.

00:54:27.000 And it's as much...

00:54:30.000 I mean, it's not saying it's not their fault.

00:54:35.000 Because whenever someone does anything to you, it's their fault.

00:54:38.000 Like if someone commits violence on you, they shouldn't have done that.

00:54:41.000 It's their fault.

00:54:42.000 That's agreed.

00:54:43.000 But what were the underlying factors that led this to happen?

00:54:48.000 And for all this talk that we do in this country...

00:54:53.000 About violence and crime and the problem of violence and crime. 0.98

00:54:57.000 Nobody ever looks at it in terms of like, how do you stop children from being raised fucked up and violent? 0.97

00:55:05.000 How do you stop them from being abused? 0.99

00:55:07.000 How do you step in?

00:55:09.000 Because that's the root of all of it.

00:55:11.000 Right, and I think early childhood education can make a big difference because if you have a kid growing up and, you know, the dad took off, there's no money, he's living on the streets, if you can create an environment for that four-year-old to come in and have two decent meals, a nap time,

00:55:27.000 some structured play, it makes all the difference in the world because that can become like the family to them.

00:55:33.000 Now let me ask you this.

00:55:35.000 Because we're in the biggest crisis in terms of immigration, in terms of national discussion.

00:55:41.000 The biggest discussion of it that I can ever remember. 0.99

00:55:43.000 Right now, this wall shit where the government is completely shut down. 0.98

00:55:47.000 And no one's budget on either side. 0.99

00:55:49.000 And all these government workers are not getting paid.

00:55:50.000 And it's all because Trump wants $5 billion for this wall.

00:55:54.000 I'm not...

00:55:55.000 Let's just...

00:55:58.000 In an ideal world, it would be ideal if the way the world worked was the way America works, where you could just go wherever you want.

00:56:05.000 That'd be the ideal world.

00:56:08.000 If the whole world was America in the sense of you can go to New Mexico. 0.56

00:56:12.000 You don't have to get paperwork signed.

00:56:14.000 No one has to tell you whether or not you're allowed to go visit or not go visit.

00:56:20.000 You can just drive there.

00:56:22.000 That's a nice thing about America.

00:56:23.000 It's almost like Europe, but you don't need a passport.

00:56:26.000 Not in it's like Europe.

00:56:27.000 I know you guys have been around longer and all that good stuff.

00:56:30.000 That's not what I mean.

00:56:30.000 I mean in terms of there's a bunch of different feels.

00:56:32.000 Yeah.

00:56:33.000 It's all speaking one language, but there's a big difference between visiting Montana and visiting Miami.

00:56:38.000 You know, if you go to Billings, Montana and hang out with the local folk at a coffee shop, and then you go to some fucking crazy after-hours party in Miami on Miami Beach at four in the morning and P. Diddy shows up. 0.70

00:56:51.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:56:52.000 Fucking you know and there's all these celebrities and people are doing coke on the floor and like what the fuck is this? 1.00

00:56:58.000 This is a different world. 1.00

00:56:59.000 Yeah, there's a different world and there's a bunch of these different world New York City is a different world.

00:57:03.000 You know LA is a different world You're allowed to go there wouldn't it be great if the whole world was like that You could just kind of go wherever you wanted to go and it would all sort itself out The idea is you can't because it would fuck up our quality of life.

00:57:16.000 It would make us less safe And I get the argument.

00:57:20.000 Certainly, you don't want to bring in criminals and murderers.

00:57:22.000 You don't want drug dealers making their way into this country and starting gang violence and all that stuff.

00:57:26.000 Yes, you're absolutely right. 1.00

00:57:28.000 And to deny that, I think it's pretty fucking foolish. 0.99

00:57:31.000 Yeah, I think it's a matter of like... 0.99

00:57:33.000 There's a lot to it.

00:57:34.000 It's a fluid...

00:57:35.000 The border is always going to be fluid.

00:57:37.000 And it needs to be fluid.

00:57:38.000 You know, we need the immigrant spirit of coming in.

00:57:41.000 And a lot of them do start small businesses when...

00:57:44.000 You know, and again, when they're brought in legally...

00:57:47.000 And so how do you create a flow of people that is good for us?

00:57:52.000 Because they say most of the immigrants that come here are the smartest, sharpest people, most driven in wherever they're from.

00:57:59.000 So we're actually drawing a really good, you know, they talk so much about the criminals, but the truth is, most of them that are coming over here are the ones that probably have the most to offer to this country.

00:58:10.000 Well, exactly like our parents' generation. 0.95

00:58:12.000 Like our grandparents.

00:58:14.000 Like my grandparents.

00:58:15.000 Like when did your grandparents come over here?

00:58:17.000 Was it your grandparents or your great-grandparents?

00:58:19.000 1910. My grandparents.

00:58:20.000 Yeah, mine as well.

00:58:21.000 My grandfather was one of 13 and 12 of them came over here.

00:58:25.000 Oh my God. 1.00

00:58:25.000 And they lived in a two-room fucking mud hut. 1.00

00:58:28.000 Somehow they kept finding the money to send one kid over at a time. 0.99

00:58:31.000 Like usually when they were about 15. Crazy.

00:58:34.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:58:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:58:35.000 See, that kind of shit is what I'm talking about. 1.00

00:58:38.000 Like those kind of people. 1.00

00:58:41.000 Shouldn't they be allowed to come here? 0.99

00:58:43.000 That's how this thing got started. 0.98

00:58:45.000 The real problem is that there's spots that suck. 0.94

00:58:48.000 That's the real problem. 0.99

00:58:50.000 It's like we were talking about white privilege. 0.75

00:58:51.000 White privilege is not the problem. 0.76

00:58:52.000 The problem is racism.

00:58:53.000 If racism doesn't exist, then everyone's exactly the same.

00:58:57.000 And then we're okay.

00:58:58.000 And then we don't need to worry about white privilege. 0.95

00:58:59.000 The real problem is you're not getting racist things thrown at you the way black people are. 0.95

00:59:05.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:59:06.000 But that's not the problem. 0.97

00:59:07.000 The problem is racist things being thrown at black people.

00:59:10.000 It's not that I don't get it.

00:59:11.000 It's that you get it.

00:59:12.000 And it's like, to highlight the fact that it's not happening to me.

00:59:18.000 I get what you're saying, but I think it's a distraction.

00:59:22.000 The real problem is the racism itself.

00:59:24.000 The real problem is when you see actual Nazis in 2018, 2019, actual ones, real ones.

00:59:33.000 Not just dressing up because they think it's a hoot.

00:59:36.000 You know, I'm a rebel. 1.00

00:59:37.000 I'm a fucking Hitler, bro. 1.00

00:59:39.000 I got a piece of tape under my nose. 1.00

00:59:41.000 There's some fucking people that aren't really Nazis, but they're dumb. 1.00

00:59:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:59:45.000 Right?

00:59:45.000 But then you see a real Nazi in 2019. You're like, okay, that's real racism.

00:59:50.000 Yeah.

00:59:51.000 No, when they go into...

00:59:53.000 I was in Portland, and they said there's regular clashes.

00:59:57.000 Like, once a month, there's a demonstration, and it's either the alt-right having a demonstration, and then the...

01:00:03.000 What do they call them?

01:00:03.000 The something-far...

01:00:05.000 Antifa. 1.00

01:00:05.000 Antifa show up, and they have regular fights, and it's fucking Nazis. 1.00

01:00:10.000 God damn. 1.00

01:00:11.000 Oregon's a fucked up state because it was originally, there were no black people allowed in Oregon. 1.00

01:00:16.000 That's the, you know, because now Portland is this very progressive. 1.00

01:00:20.000 Super progressive. 0.89

01:00:21.000 Super progressive, but there's no black people there.

01:00:23.000 There's a few.

01:00:24.000 There are, it feels a little hollow though when you're there. 1.00

01:00:26.000 I think they're running shit. 1.00

01:00:27.000 I just did New Year's Eve shows there and they were, it was fucking all white. 1.00

01:00:32.000 It was all white. 0.99

01:00:33.000 It was weird.

01:00:35.000 That is weird. 0.89

01:00:35.000 If I was black, I would go to Portland in a second. 0.89

01:00:38.000 You'd have so many friends instantly. 0.56

01:00:41.000 Everybody wants to high-five you, have you over for dinner.

01:00:45.000 Yeah.

01:00:47.000 It's, um, yeah.

01:00:48.000 The real problem, for sure, is any kind of discrimination. 0.95

01:00:52.000 Because that also fucks with us, too.

01:00:54.000 Because if people are discriminating against people, we can't even make fun of them now. 0.94

01:00:58.000 We have to leave them alone.

01:00:59.000 Right.

01:00:59.000 Because then it's punching down.

01:01:00.000 Like, ah!

01:01:01.000 But it's right there.

01:01:02.000 I know.

01:01:02.000 It's the best joke.

01:01:04.000 I mean, when you think about it as a stand-up, what your topics are, race, racism, Sexuality.

01:01:12.000 Politics.

01:01:13.000 Most people don't do politics.

01:01:15.000 I would say that the average comic is talking about two topics, racism and sexuality.

01:01:22.000 I think you did a great job of covering politics.

01:01:31.000 Yeah.

01:01:38.000 I did this thing during the election about her.

01:01:41.000 And I didn't mean it to knock her, but it really wasn't about knocking anybody. 1.00

01:01:45.000 It was about her having a dry pussy. 1.00

01:01:47.000 And, you know, that's the kind of political comedy you can expect from me. 1.00

01:01:51.000 It was also about countdown till Trump calls her a cunt. 1.00

01:01:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:02:01.000 That was my favorite line.

01:02:02.000 That was my favorite line about the election. 0.97

01:02:05.000 Dude, I did the dry cunt jokes about her, and then Drew Carey was in the audience, and he came up to me after the show. 0.89

01:02:12.000 He gave me an entire piece of paper with more jokes on that premise. 0.97

01:02:16.000 He had tears in his eyes.

01:02:18.000 Like, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen.

01:02:20.000 Here, take these.

01:02:20.000 He loves filth.

01:02:22.000 Drew Carey is one of the nicest guys ever.

01:02:24.000 Yeah, he's great.

01:02:25.000 I met him at the improv, and dude, he talks to everybody.

01:02:28.000 He was giving young comics advice, telling them, write a joke a day.

01:02:32.000 Just one joke a day.

01:02:33.000 If you get one joke a day, in the course of a week, you've got seven jokes.

01:02:36.000 Just make yourself write a joke.

01:02:38.000 Did you write a joke yesterday? 1.00

01:02:40.000 Nah, I wrote some shit that wasn't funny. 1.00

01:02:43.000 I just wrote some shit last night. 1.00

01:02:45.000 You and I did a story together last night. 1.00

01:02:47.000 Yeah, and then last night I came home and wrote.

01:02:49.000 Yeah.

01:02:50.000 Yeah, I'm just...

01:02:51.000 I'm in this stage of a couple of these bits that I'm working on right now where they're just like...

01:02:56.000 They're on Bambi legs. 1.00

01:02:57.000 Yeah.

01:02:57.000 They'll go south on me.

01:02:59.000 Right.

01:02:59.000 Like, I'll lose the script.

01:03:01.000 Yeah.

01:03:02.000 It's interesting because...

01:03:05.000 When you go from doing a special and then chucking everything out and then starting from scratch, it's the most fun time.

01:03:10.000 Yeah.

01:03:11.000 Because you're like a beginner again.

01:03:12.000 You're thinking about it all the time.

01:03:14.000 Yeah.

01:03:15.000 Like after dinner, I've got a half hour, I'm like, I want to get back to that bit.

01:03:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:03:19.000 Yeah, you're thinking about it all the time.

01:03:22.000 Yeah.

01:03:22.000 Like you're thinking about bits all the time.

01:03:24.000 Whereas once you have an act together and you do an hour, 20 minutes easy, then you're not thinking about it that much.

01:03:30.000 You're thinking about when you do it or you're thinking about it when you write, but you're not thinking about it all day.

01:03:34.000 No, you're tweaking it in motion.

01:03:36.000 Like when you're on stage and you've got the hour down, that's when...

01:03:39.000 You and I were talking about a comedian you just told to take a little extra time before they do your special.

01:03:44.000 And it really is in that extra few months that you find emphasizing this syllable makes the joke get an applause break instead of just laughs.

01:03:54.000 It's also...

01:03:55.000 One of the most interactive art forms ever, whereas you need other people to do it.

01:04:01.000 You need other people to watch.

01:04:03.000 There's no way I can do that without you, without people listening, watching, whatever it is.

01:04:09.000 You can't do it.

01:04:10.000 You need them.

01:04:12.000 Because they help you make it.

01:04:14.000 Their reactions to what you're saying tightens up what you're saying.

01:04:18.000 Their reactions make you throw away certain parts that just aren't working right.

01:04:22.000 You think it's funny, they don't think it's funny.

01:04:24.000 How many times do they not think it's funny before you decide that part might not be that good?

01:04:28.000 Let me concentrate on this part.

01:04:29.000 This part seems to have fruit to it.

01:04:31.000 This part, this is the part that kills.

01:04:32.000 I didn't even expect this part to work, but this part has become a bigger part of the bit than the first part.

01:04:37.000 And then weird stuff starts branching off, but I don't think it branches off in front of people.

01:04:41.000 It's weird.

01:04:42.000 No, it really is interesting.

01:04:44.000 If you could track a comedian writing a bit, a good comic, who really takes on a premise like you do, like take on a thought or a philosophy and step it out as far as it can possibly go and track that person doing that set for six months, it can morph to where there's almost nothing left from the original premise.

01:05:03.000 All the time.

01:05:03.000 Yeah.

01:05:04.000 Sometimes I'll take an old joke and I'll use it as a scaffolding.

01:05:07.000 Like when I'm writing again and I've got no...

01:05:10.000 Like I'm trapped and I'm like, I've got no way to get from this bit to another.

01:05:14.000 But I've got an old joke.

01:05:15.000 I'm going to shove an old joke in there.

01:05:16.000 And then from that, the little burst that you get out of that will carry you on and make the next premise better.

01:05:24.000 It's got a little bit more momentum to it.

01:05:26.000 And now you can explore it a little light-headed, a little light-hearted, a little easier, less tense.

01:05:31.000 Because the new stuff...

01:05:33.000 The thing about it that fucks me up the most is that I'm not exactly sure what's the best way to do it.

01:05:38.000 So I'm thinking about it while I'm saying it instead of just being in the moment.

01:05:42.000 Right.

01:05:42.000 Until you can just get it to the point where you can be in the moment, it's just clunky.

01:05:47.000 Yeah.

01:05:47.000 But because it's clunky, you're nervous.

01:05:48.000 And because you're nervous, you're thinking about it all the time.

01:05:50.000 Yeah.

01:05:50.000 So it becomes like this obsession.

01:05:52.000 So I feel like more premises start popping up that way.

01:05:55.000 It's weird.

01:05:56.000 It's like you have this...

01:05:58.000 Hyper-focused that's way less comfortable than having an hour and 20 down, ready to film.

01:06:06.000 It's way less comfortable, but it's probably more productive in terms of creatively.

01:06:11.000 Of course, but I always think it's like learning a new language.

01:06:14.000 Every time I have a new bit, it's like, how do I translate this thought in my head into, like you said, what's my approach?

01:06:20.000 What's my strategy to get that idea across?

01:06:23.000 And so you're thinking about that and it slows down you.

01:06:26.000 Yeah, you're not in the moment as much.

01:06:28.000 I think I'm going to start doing some real late night sets too.

01:06:31.000 Yeah, that's a good idea.

01:06:32.000 I think you've got to do tired people with like 13 people in the room.

01:06:36.000 You've got to try those little spots out too.

01:06:39.000 You can get a little too used to doing crowds.

01:06:43.000 And if you're a little too used to doing crowds, what happens is people want to laugh.

01:06:48.000 They want to laugh.

01:06:49.000 They're there to have a good time.

01:06:51.000 When you get at 1 o'clock in the morning, they've already laughed.

01:06:55.000 They've laughed and laughed and laughed.

01:06:58.000 And they've laughed for hours, some of them.

01:07:00.000 Some of them get there at 9, and they stay till 2. They just get up to pee, order another drink, have another seat, and you're watching a crazy lineup of comedians.

01:07:10.000 You get on at one o'clock in the morning, man, like the Don Barris hour, that fucking... 0.97

01:07:16.000 You're getting in front of people that have seen everything. 0.98

01:07:19.000 So if you make them laugh...

01:07:22.000 Like, that's a legit bit.

01:07:24.000 Yeah.

01:07:24.000 If you can get through to these people when they've probably heard everything.

01:07:29.000 Well, and it gets you in your voice more because when there's only 15 people out there versus 300 a couple hours earlier, at 300 you're performing something out to the back of the room.

01:07:42.000 Yeah.

01:07:42.000 They talk about playing to the back of the room in bigger rooms.

01:07:45.000 You have to be more physical.

01:07:46.000 You have to slow down.

01:07:48.000 And then when you have 15 people, all of a sudden, you're in your human being talking to human beings voice.

01:07:54.000 And sometimes that's where you can find really the flow of the joke a lot better.

01:07:58.000 Because you're not pumping it up.

01:08:00.000 You're just saying it.

01:08:02.000 Yeah, I agree.

01:08:04.000 But I think you have to do those larger places, too, just to know how to do them.

01:08:11.000 Like, they're a different thing.

01:08:12.000 Yeah.

01:08:13.000 Like, if you do a big theater, a big theater, you need to be comfortable with the fact that there's, you know, X amount of thousands of people in that room.

01:08:20.000 And unless you do a bunch of those...

01:08:22.000 Like, you and I have done a few of them together.

01:08:23.000 Yeah.

01:08:24.000 They're fun.

01:08:24.000 Yeah.

01:08:25.000 But you have a time...

01:08:26.000 There's a timing thing that's different.

01:08:27.000 You have to...

01:08:29.000 Wait a little longer.

01:08:30.000 You can't beat your punchlines up one after the other like you can in a club.

01:08:35.000 In a club, you could just keep hammering because there's only so many people in the room.

01:08:40.000 It won't overpower the sound system.

01:08:42.000 And that's why for so long, Comedy Central, the mandate was always they want the special shot in a nice theater, like a 1500, 2000 seater where they can get the crane camera shooting down.

01:08:55.000 Yeah.

01:08:56.000 And the truth is, for most, including myself, I'm not a theater comic.

01:09:00.000 I'm a club comic.

01:09:00.000 So all of a sudden I shoot my special in a room that holds 1,600 people and it wasn't, I don't look back at it and go, that's exactly how I wanted to be seen.

01:09:10.000 I was slower.

01:09:12.000 I was bigger.

01:09:13.000 It's like I would have rather done it in a nice little 400-seat club.

01:09:18.000 Also, you weren't doing a lot of those places, so you weren't comfortable with it.

01:09:21.000 When you do those really big places, once you get comfortable with it, you start treating it like a club.

01:09:26.000 One of my most comfortable sets was one of the biggest places I ever did, the Scotiabank Arena in Toronto at the end of my tour, but it was at the end of the tour, the very last spot before the Netflix special came out.

01:09:38.000 So I had been doing stand-up like real regular in these big giant-ass places for months.

01:09:45.000 So when I got there, it felt like the store.

01:09:48.000 It felt like doing the main room.

01:09:49.000 It was just a bigger main room.

01:09:51.000 It was just fun.

01:09:53.000 Just have a good time.

01:09:54.000 It's just doing a lot of those. 0.90

01:09:56.000 You've got to do them, but you really do have to do the little tiny shitty ones.

01:10:00.000 You've got to do those 1 a.m.

01:10:01.000 spots.

01:10:02.000 You've got to do those belly room spots. 1.00

01:10:04.000 That's a big one.

01:10:05.000 The belly room's a big one. 0.99

01:10:06.000 They're right there.

01:10:07.000 It is.

01:10:08.000 If you are not connected to them, they do not laugh.

01:10:11.000 And if you are connected, it's the greatest crowd.

01:10:14.000 They're right in front of you.

01:10:15.000 Because there's only, what, 60 people in there?

01:10:16.000 Yeah.

01:10:17.000 Something like that.

01:10:18.000 I also like doing alternative rooms sometimes.

01:10:20.000 I go to Largo.

01:10:21.000 How dare you?

01:10:22.000 Go up there in front of the cool kids and, you know, have to be a little more PC. You should have a fake act that you do only for Largo.

01:10:30.000 Like, put together...

01:10:32.000 Actually, I did Largo with Whitney.

01:10:34.000 I like Largo.

01:10:35.000 Largo's great.

01:10:36.000 And Hardwick was on that show, too, and someone else.

01:10:39.000 Maybe Adam Ray.

01:10:40.000 No, Adam Devine.

01:10:42.000 Okay.

01:10:42.000 And it was a fun time, man.

01:10:44.000 It was really fun.

01:10:45.000 Largo is a really interesting old place, too.

01:10:47.000 But all those are alt-scene things.

01:10:50.000 I would love if somebody did, they put an act together that's only for that crowd, but it's just onion-esque enough that it sneaks through.

01:10:59.000 Yeah.

01:11:00.000 You know?

01:11:01.000 Yeah, right.

01:11:02.000 Just a really, like, a guy who plays, like, the strongest ally possible for everything.

01:11:10.000 For trans rights, gay rights, black rights, women's rights.

01:11:14.000 Yeah.

01:11:15.000 He's, like, the ultimate ally in comedy form.

01:11:18.000 He had a fake beard.

01:11:18.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:11:20.000 Everything.

01:11:21.000 Birkenstocks.

01:11:21.000 Whatever we can do.

01:11:22.000 Yeah.

01:11:22.000 Whatever we can do to make him a character.

01:11:25.000 That's hilarious.

01:11:26.000 And then write really good jokes.

01:11:28.000 Right.

01:11:28.000 Write really good jokes.

01:11:29.000 That would be an interesting project, almost like a Borat-type project. 0.98

01:11:33.000 Create an alt-comic who's really calculated, who's really probably just trying to get pussy, but puts together the right words. 1.00

01:11:43.000 If you don't support intersectionality, then get the fuck out of my face. 1.00

01:11:49.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:11:50.000 You know, like some...

01:11:52.000 And then he should try to get laid after every show as part of the character.

01:11:55.000 Of course. 1.00

01:11:55.000 Yeah, be just super sleazy with coke and needles, fucking syringes. 1.00

01:11:59.000 He pulls out... 1.00

01:12:02.000 He's got shaky bottles of bills.

01:12:05.000 Come on! 0.61

01:12:05.000 Takes the pussy hat off his head and starts fucking it backstage. 0.61

01:12:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:09.000 He's got a flashlight for a pussy hat. 1.00

01:12:11.000 Oh my god. 0.99

01:12:13.000 That would be a hilarious character because the thing about people is who are you really?

01:12:19.000 And...

01:12:20.000 When you're talking to people, do you know who you are?

01:12:24.000 Are you sure you know who you are?

01:12:26.000 Are you 100% certain and cool and calm?

01:12:29.000 I don't think most of us are.

01:12:31.000 I think most of us are constantly evolving the way we behave and think.

01:12:36.000 Constantly thinking about it.

01:12:37.000 Maybe things went wrong last night.

01:12:39.000 I've got to stop drinking.

01:12:40.000 There's always something. 0.99

01:12:41.000 I've got to get my ass to the gym. 0.98

01:12:43.000 There's always something. 0.97

01:12:43.000 There's always something you're trying to improve and move around. 0.97

01:12:46.000 So if you are a person who is...

01:12:50.000 If you don't know exactly where you're coming from, but you want to sell that you know where you're coming from, you want people to believe you know where you're coming from, then you get all this momentum behind you.

01:13:03.000 And you almost can't get away from it.

01:13:06.000 You see this a lot with people that are trying to be spiritual.

01:13:12.000 They're always trying to sell you on the idea that they're spiritual.

01:13:16.000 They're always pushing.

01:13:17.000 This is me, man.

01:13:19.000 This is me.

01:13:19.000 Are you sure?

01:13:20.000 Are you sure?

01:13:21.000 I think who we are, all of us, a lot of it is who we've encountered and how we've interacted with those people.

01:13:30.000 Yeah, and then the uniform comes along with it and the diet.

01:13:33.000 There's like a whole follow this manual that, you know, they talk about hipsters, which, you know, it's a pretty wide umbrella about what kind of hipsters there are.

01:13:43.000 But just the idea of wearing a uniform always kind of puts me off on people.

01:13:48.000 Like you've stopped.

01:13:49.000 You've stopped growing if you're going to put on what all the other people that you want to be like are wearing.

01:13:54.000 Yeah.

01:13:54.000 Yeah, this is the thing.

01:13:55.000 It's like the opinions aren't necessarily wrong because they're your opinions.

01:14:00.000 But the thing of any kind of ideology, whether it's a hipster, alt ideology, or if it's a fucking conservative right-wing farm worker ideology, when people adopt those, there's very little deviation.

01:14:15.000 And a lot of times they're not even really thinking entirely about what they're saying.

01:14:18.000 They just know what is going to get the right positive reaction from their clan.

01:14:24.000 Yeah, I feel bad.

01:14:25.000 My mom, who's, you know, we grew up in a pretty liberal family in New York. 0.94

01:14:29.000 My dad was in radio, and he talked politics on the air, and it was pretty far left.

01:14:34.000 Reading that, you know, my mom worked at the New York Times.

01:14:37.000 You can't get any more liberal than that.

01:14:38.000 And so then she moved down to Florida where everybody watches Fox News in her building. 0.98

01:14:44.000 And they all sit around the pool and they fucking berate her because they don't agree with them. 0.98

01:14:49.000 And I just say, good for you, mom. 0.96

01:14:51.000 You haven't, because a lot of people go down there and they change their views because they are so, you know, intimidated by not fitting in with the, it's your social group.

01:14:59.000 It's a different country.

01:15:01.000 Florida's a different country.

01:15:02.000 Like I was saying, American Europe.

01:15:03.000 That's what this is.

01:15:04.000 You go to Florida, that's a different country.

01:15:07.000 Yeah, it is.

01:15:08.000 And it's two different countries, if not three, because you've got the locals, which I'd put them against Mississippi and Alabama for being deep south.

01:15:18.000 And then you've got the retirement people, which is old Jews from New York. 0.99

01:15:22.000 And then you've got the Latino element of Florida.

01:15:25.000 It's three different countries.

01:15:26.000 A lot of old Italians from New York, too.

01:15:28.000 Oh, yeah, that's right. 1.00

01:15:29.000 All those people just said, fuck this winter. 1.00

01:15:31.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:15:32.000 We're getting out of here.

01:15:33.000 Yeah, what are we doing? 0.99

01:15:34.000 And they're fucking getting the boat and getting the plane. 1.00

01:15:36.000 My fucking mozzarella is hot as your fucking ant's cunt. 1.00

01:15:39.000 You can get some good Italian food in Florida. 1.00

01:15:42.000 Oh yeah.

01:15:43.000 Florida's got some good food.

01:15:44.000 But yeah, you're right.

01:15:45.000 The upper part of it especially.

01:15:47.000 That's like all...

01:15:48.000 I mean, it might as well be any other southern state.

01:15:50.000 Right, right.

01:15:51.000 And then at the bottom, it's Cubans. 1.00

01:15:53.000 You know, running shit in Miami. 1.00

01:15:55.000 Miami's just international. 1.00

01:15:56.000 Miami's like an international city.

01:15:58.000 It's like an international city that's in America.

01:16:00.000 I mean, that is so different than Seattle.

01:16:03.000 Like in terms of feel and like the way you're walking around, everybody's like... 0.96

01:16:07.000 Thin and in tight clothes and people are partying and fucking dancing and music's coming out of cars. 0.97

01:16:13.000 Like, whoa. 0.99

01:16:14.000 This place is alive.

01:16:15.000 It's popping.

01:16:15.000 Yeah, it's alive.

01:16:16.000 And it's going to be underwater soon.

01:16:18.000 Yeah.

01:16:18.000 When the moon is in certain positions in Florida, it doesn't even matter what tide is.

01:16:24.000 If there's a high tide and no storm, the streets still flood in Miami.

01:16:30.000 It's getting bad.

01:16:31.000 Is that real?

01:16:33.000 Yeah.

01:16:35.000 Well, here's what they got to do.

01:16:36.000 They got to dig under the city and then lift it up.

01:16:38.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:16:39.000 Just go all the way under, Elon Musk.

01:16:41.000 Use that tunnel machine thing.

01:16:43.000 And you're going to put some giant metal bars and just jack it up.

01:16:46.000 Chick, chick, chick, chick, chick, chick. 0.99

01:16:50.000 You got the Italians down there. 1.00

01:16:52.000 They do construction.

01:16:53.000 But what if they do a New Orleans deal where they put up a levee?

01:16:56.000 Yeah, that's what they're going to need to do.

01:16:58.000 Jesus Christ.

01:16:59.000 I think the problem with that, though, what I read was that there's something about the porous nature of the soil in Miami, that the water is going to come through the ground.

01:17:08.000 Yeah.

01:17:09.000 The ground under the cities of South Florida is largely...

01:17:11.000 There it is.

01:17:11.000 Largely porous...

01:17:12.000 Jamie's on the ball.

01:17:14.000 Largely porous limestone, which means water will eventually rise up through it. 1.00

01:17:19.000 So they're fucked. 1.00

01:17:20.000 They're fucked no matter what. 1.00

01:17:21.000 Even with a levee, they're fucked. 1.00

01:17:22.000 That water's just gonna get through the ground. 0.98

01:17:24.000 You know how, like, you're on the beach, and you can dig a hole in the sand, and eventually you hit water?

01:17:29.000 Yeah.

01:17:30.000 That always freaked me out.

01:17:32.000 Yeah, I know.

01:17:32.000 I know.

01:17:35.000 Wait a minute, there's water under here?

01:17:37.000 How much water? 0.99

01:17:38.000 I remember my kid was sitting in one of those holes, and I'm like, you're gonna get fucking sucked underground. 0.95

01:17:42.000 Yeah, I didn't like it. 0.99

01:17:43.000 I didn't like it.

01:17:44.000 Yeah.

01:17:45.000 I was listening to a Radiolab podcast on Quicksand.

01:17:49.000 It was a really cool podcast, because it made me think, I went, oh yeah...

01:17:54.000 I think?

01:18:17.000 And if you try walking through it, people just get sucked into the murk.

01:18:21.000 I mean, if you think about it, there's like a certain amount of density to what you need to stand on, right?

01:18:26.000 That's why mud, it's not hard.

01:18:28.000 You just go in there and you can get really stuck, right?

01:18:31.000 Well, if it's more watery than that, then what happens?

01:18:34.000 Well, then you can't even stand.

01:18:36.000 Then you go...

01:18:39.000 And people just panic and die.

01:18:41.000 Yeah.

01:18:41.000 You gotta swim.

01:18:42.000 Yeah.

01:18:43.000 If you can.

01:18:44.000 Because there's all this weight on you, too.

01:18:45.000 You have to realize that.

01:18:46.000 That stuff's dense.

01:18:47.000 So it's watery, but it's also heavy.

01:18:49.000 And then your clothes are covered in it.

01:18:51.000 Yeah.

01:18:51.000 So your clothes become really heavy.

01:18:53.000 And so nobody can save you because if they get close, they're gonna fall in.

01:18:56.000 Yes.

01:18:57.000 Yeah.

01:18:58.000 If you're gonna drag them down, man, it's hard to swim with somebody.

01:19:02.000 You know that as well as anybody.

01:19:04.000 You save somebody.

01:19:05.000 Yeah, I was in Costa Rica.

01:19:07.000 And we were down at this, it was the biggest waterfall I've ever seen.

01:19:11.000 It was like hundreds of feet high.

01:19:13.000 And it landed in this lagoon, this round lagoon.

01:19:16.000 And the water, they told you, don't go near the water.

01:19:19.000 And so there's these Japanese girls sitting on the edge, they got their feet in. 1.00

01:19:23.000 And then one of them, like, jumps in. 0.99

01:19:26.000 And the water fucking sucks her down immediately. 1.00

01:19:29.000 Oh, God. 0.99

01:19:30.000 And I dove out.

01:19:31.000 I have a lifeguarding degree from when I was stoned in 16. And so I dove into the water and I grabbed her.

01:19:38.000 And luckily I was checking them out because they were these beautiful Japanese girls. 1.00

01:19:41.000 So I had my eyes on them.

01:19:43.000 And so I dive in and I grab her. 0.99

01:19:46.000 And I pull her to the surface.

01:19:47.000 I do the cross-arm carry and I pull her out.

01:19:50.000 And you know what she did?

01:19:51.000 What?

01:19:51.000 Just turned to her friends.

01:19:53.000 They all like consoled her.

01:19:54.000 Nobody said thank you. 0.99

01:19:56.000 I fucking saved her life. 0.99

01:19:57.000 So anyway. 0.99

01:19:58.000 Wow.

01:19:58.000 So there was these kids...

01:19:59.000 Whoever you are, Japanese lady. 1.00

01:20:01.000 How rude.

01:20:04.000 Was she American or Japanese Japanese?

01:20:06.000 I think she was Japanese.

01:20:08.000 No, no, they were Japanese Japanese.

01:20:09.000 Yeah.

01:20:09.000 She probably thought you were a lifeguard.

01:20:12.000 Yeah.

01:20:12.000 Probably thought that's what happened.

01:20:13.000 Yeah.

01:20:14.000 And then I left and I'm with my family and they didn't see it happen. 0.94

01:20:18.000 So I was so fucking bummed. 0.77

01:20:20.000 Then we get to the parking lot and there's this busload of kids from some school and they had seen the whole thing and they started chanting hero to me. 0.97

01:20:29.000 Oh, wow. 0.97

01:20:29.000 And I said to my kids, do you fucking see what's happening right now? 0.97

01:20:32.000 Ah! 0.98

01:20:36.000 That's got to be a great feeling, even if they didn't say thank you.

01:20:38.000 Yeah.

01:20:38.000 You saved them.

01:20:40.000 It's what I do.

01:20:41.000 It's my job.

01:20:42.000 Superhero.

01:20:43.000 You ever save anybody's life?

01:20:44.000 No.

01:20:45.000 I don't think so.

01:20:47.000 Not directly.

01:20:49.000 Maybe you did.

01:20:50.000 This podcast probably did.

01:20:51.000 Indirectly.

01:20:51.000 I bet there's people that have been suicidal that heard this and it cheered them up.

01:20:54.000 I bet it ruined a few people, too.

01:20:56.000 Let's be honest.

01:21:02.000 You should do everything I do.

01:21:03.000 Don't listen to me. 1.00

01:21:04.000 I'm a fucking idiot. 1.00

01:21:05.000 Why are you listening to me? 1.00

01:21:09.000 Because if people say I changed their life, like, okay, if I accept it on the positive, then I have to accept it on the negative, too.

01:21:16.000 That's right.

01:21:16.000 No, no, you did it.

01:21:17.000 You did the whole thing.

01:21:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:21:19.000 I said some shit that you enjoyed. 0.99

01:21:22.000 I'm very happy for that. 0.99

01:21:23.000 And I talked to some people that brought you some great information.

01:21:26.000 I'm very happy for that, too.

01:21:27.000 We're all in this together.

01:21:28.000 I'm not saving anybody.

01:21:30.000 Yeah.

01:21:30.000 You save yourself.

01:21:31.000 Right.

01:21:32.000 Don't listen to me.

01:21:33.000 Yeah.

01:21:33.000 Call a hotline.

01:21:34.000 Yeah.

01:21:34.000 Don't listen to me.

01:21:35.000 Don't take yoga.

01:21:36.000 Don't even do it.

01:21:36.000 Don't take yoga.

01:21:38.000 Don't listen to me. 1.00

01:21:38.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. 1.00

01:21:39.000 Don't pick up archery. 1.00

01:21:41.000 What the fuck do you want to do? 1.00

01:21:41.000 You want to shoot arrows at things? 1.00

01:21:42.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

01:21:43.000 Eat carbs. 1.00

01:21:44.000 Eat some fucking carbs. 1.00

01:21:45.000 Don't do jujitsu. 1.00

01:21:46.000 You're going to get hurt.

01:21:47.000 You want to get hurt? 0.68

01:21:49.000 You're a 40-year-old man. 0.99

01:21:50.000 We try to choke people for. 0.79

01:21:51.000 Stop it.

01:21:52.000 Don't listen to me.

01:21:53.000 Don't eat elk.

01:21:54.000 Go get a burger.

01:21:55.000 We've got an actual American hamburger.

01:21:57.000 Don't eat mushrooms.

01:21:58.000 Get out of here.

01:21:58.000 It's going to close your mind off.

01:22:00.000 Break your head. 0.85

01:22:01.000 They're going to break your head. 0.99

01:22:02.000 What if you go crazy like that guy from Pink Floyd? 0.98

01:22:04.000 Huh? 0.89

01:22:05.000 What if you go crazy?

01:22:06.000 What if you never come back? 0.93

01:22:09.000 What if you get anti-Semitic as a judo?

01:22:12.000 But the thing is, what if you do? 0.99

01:22:14.000 Like, for sure, some people have smoked too much pot and blown a fucking gasket. 0.99

01:22:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:22:19.000 Let's be honest, right?

01:22:20.000 It has to have happened.

01:22:22.000 They say that actually they're finding...

01:22:24.000 My wife just told me this yesterday.

01:22:26.000 She read this article about people with schizophrenia are getting older and they're smoking pot more because it's legal.

01:22:32.000 And they're finding people are coming in with schizophrenic episodes from smoking too much pot.

01:22:40.000 That were schizophrenic already or became schizophrenic from the pot?

01:22:44.000 Not sure.

01:22:45.000 I think when you, especially when you get too high, it feels exactly like being crazy.

01:22:50.000 Yeah. 0.96

01:22:51.000 And I think when, there's been moments for sure that I smoke too much pot and I freak the fuck out.

01:22:58.000 And when that happens, it almost always feels like, wow, if I had to live life like this, And it's one of the things that I try to take into consideration when I think about people having something wrong with the way their brain processes information or the way they talk.

01:23:14.000 It's like think about how you feel when you're on like a 200 milligram edible.

01:23:20.000 And you're like, oh my god, I just can't do this.

01:23:22.000 This is just too much.

01:23:23.000 Everything is like anxiety and the freak out and life and death and all of your memories pouring back into your head like a waterfall and you can't collect them.

01:23:31.000 In circles.

01:23:32.000 They're spinning like plates.

01:23:34.000 And all you want is for it to end.

01:23:36.000 Please end.

01:23:37.000 I'm just going to lie down here.

01:23:39.000 I hear when you take a shower, it helps.

01:23:41.000 You get in the shower, you're still freaked out.

01:23:43.000 If that was your whole life.

01:23:45.000 So you got to think.

01:23:48.000 What's your state of consciousness versus another person's?

01:23:51.000 You have to guess.

01:23:53.000 I've never been in your mind.

01:23:54.000 I don't know how your mind works.

01:23:56.000 I have to guess that your mind is some reasonable – it's got something like the way my mind works, the way you look at life.

01:24:04.000 And we talk about so many things.

01:24:06.000 We agree on so many things.

01:24:07.000 I've got to think your processing is very similar to mine.

01:24:10.000 There's gotta be people out there where it's chaos, where it's just like you with a 200 milligram edible. 1.00

01:24:14.000 You're just like, fuck! 1.00

01:24:16.000 All day it's just like, what? 1.00

01:24:17.000 Who's doing that?

01:24:18.000 Dude, just people watching me, man.

01:24:20.000 There's a building near us, and there's people watching me.

01:24:23.000 And they can't escape.

01:24:24.000 They can't escape. 1.00

01:24:26.000 They're trapped in this fucking... 1.00

01:24:29.000 Constant snowball effect of anxiety and chaos. 1.00

01:24:34.000 And you've got to wonder, how much of that is brain chemistry?

01:24:37.000 How much of that is brain chemistry that's been adjusted by nature and by life experiences and abuse and all these different factors that happen to people that make them lose their grip?

01:24:48.000 Right.

01:24:49.000 Yeah.

01:24:50.000 I mean, you see them on the street and you just, you know, there's a woman that is near my house.

01:24:54.000 She's at a bus stop.

01:24:56.000 And she's been at this bus stop for three years, and I pass her two or three times a day, and I'm kind of obsessed with checking on her every time I drive by.

01:25:07.000 And she's never not been in that bus stop sitting down.

01:25:13.000 She's either reading or reading.

01:25:15.000 Or just under a blanket.

01:25:16.000 She's chain smokes. 1.00

01:25:17.000 I don't know where she gets the cigarettes.

01:25:19.000 She's got a cell phone.

01:25:20.000 Don't know how she charges it.

01:25:21.000 But I guess she goes to the bathroom at the gas station.

01:25:24.000 Maybe people give her money and she doesn't beg, doesn't engage, just sits at this. 0.93

01:25:29.000 And she's in front of a gas station and a busy road.

01:25:33.000 It's the worst spot to sit.

01:25:35.000 Pouring rain, she's out there.

01:25:37.000 Cold winter, she's out there.

01:25:40.000 It's crazy.

01:25:41.000 Wow.

01:25:42.000 Does the bus stop have a cover?

01:25:46.000 Yeah, but the sides are not there.

01:25:50.000 Oh.

01:25:51.000 So when driving rain, it's, you know. 1.00

01:25:53.000 So she's just fucked. 1.00

01:25:53.000 She's soaked, yeah. 1.00

01:25:54.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

01:25:55.000 And you see her talking to herself a little bit, and you just think, Jesus Christ. 1.00

01:25:58.000 And so I looked her up online, I researched her, and it turns out she's from Venice.

01:26:03.000 She went to Venice High, and she's got parents in the neighborhood, and they know she's there.

01:26:09.000 They can't get her to leave.

01:26:11.000 Social workers come by, and they just realize she's happy there.

01:26:14.000 Not happy, but she's safe there.

01:26:17.000 Something about that spot, maybe because it's the busiest spot around, it makes her feel safe.

01:26:22.000 Wow.

01:26:23.000 Yeah.

01:26:26.000 Imagine that's your kid.

01:26:27.000 I know.

01:26:29.000 Yeah.

01:26:30.000 Imagine your kid blows a gasket.

01:26:32.000 Yeah.

01:26:33.000 And you gotta let go at a certain point. 1.00

01:26:35.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:26:36.000 You can't make them take their medication after the age of 18. And for some reason, a lot of schizophrenics don't like taking their medication because of the way it makes them feel. 1.00

01:26:44.000 God damn it. 0.99

01:26:45.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:26:46.000 What are the other options?

01:26:49.000 I think lithium is the main drug, and then there's a couple other ones that work.

01:26:52.000 Is there any behavioral therapy or physical therapy?

01:26:57.000 Oh yeah, definitely.

01:26:58.000 Is there anything you can do?

01:26:58.000 Yeah.

01:26:58.000 I think it's about replacing thoughts.

01:27:00.000 It's cognitive behavioral therapy.

01:27:02.000 When they start thinking something, they have to replace it with another thought, and they have to train in that until they can stop the voices.

01:27:10.000 But I think it's mostly medication.

01:27:13.000 Yeah.

01:27:14.000 I think we have an aversion to treating the brain, say, when we treat other things that get broken.

01:27:21.000 Like, you know, if you have something wrong with your liver, they go, oh, you've got liver disease.

01:27:28.000 Well, we're going to give you medication for the liver.

01:27:31.000 If there's something wrong with your brain, like, are you sure?

01:27:33.000 Are you sure there's something wrong with your brain?

01:27:35.000 You know, what's wrong?

01:27:36.000 Right.

01:27:37.000 Like, your brain's really not producing enough chemicals.

01:27:39.000 Is that it?

01:27:40.000 Or is it just the way you look at things?

01:27:43.000 No, they look at it as a weakness.

01:27:44.000 Yeah.

01:27:44.000 Mental illness is a weakness.

01:27:45.000 Yeah.

01:27:46.000 That's a weird thing.

01:27:47.000 It's a weird thing because sometimes it is.

01:27:50.000 Sometimes people are weak.

01:27:52.000 But sometimes that's not it.

01:27:54.000 Sometimes there's something wrong.

01:27:56.000 Yeah.

01:27:56.000 And so if you're a person who's got something wrong and people are telling you you're just weak...

01:28:01.000 Like, no, no, no, this is fucked up. 0.99

01:28:03.000 Like, this is a terrible feeling, and this is every day for me, all day. 0.99

01:28:08.000 There's just something wrong going on in there.

01:28:10.000 It has to be that there's variables to the way your brain works, just like there's variables to the way your eyes function or any other part of your body.

01:28:19.000 It's not equal.

01:28:21.000 Everybody doesn't get the same dose.

01:28:23.000 Right.

01:28:23.000 I mean, depression is something that...

01:28:25.000 It's funny, because I think I've asked you, and you don't have depression.

01:28:28.000 And my buddy, Mike Gibbons, he's my best friend, and we connect, like you and me, on everything. 0.95

01:28:34.000 But I have so much fucking depression that I deal with it every day. 0.93

01:28:38.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:28:39.000 You know, and I can't, I have to meditate, I gotta exercise, I, you know, medicate everything.

01:28:47.000 Do you, well, while you're injured right now, you can't work out, right?

01:28:51.000 Right.

01:28:52.000 Does that affect you?

01:28:53.000 Big time.

01:28:54.000 Does it help you?

01:28:55.000 Yeah, I've been in a rut with not exercising.

01:28:57.000 When you do exercise a lot, does it alleviate your symptoms and your feel?

01:29:01.000 Very much.

01:29:02.000 Really?

01:29:02.000 Yeah.

01:29:03.000 Yeah.

01:29:04.000 I'm doing this thing now.

01:29:05.000 I think Neil Brennan recommended it.

01:29:08.000 The magnet thing?

01:29:09.000 Yeah, TMS. Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation.

01:29:13.000 Yeah, he said it was amazing.

01:29:14.000 I've done it for 10 weeks every single day.

01:29:16.000 Really?

01:29:17.000 Yeah, I just did it this morning.

01:29:18.000 Do you do it to yourself?

01:29:19.000 No, you go in, first you get an MRI and they map out your brain.

01:29:23.000 Right.

01:29:23.000 And the whole theory behind it is that they can use magnetic stimulation to sort of like waken up one of the lobes in your brain that's associated with depression.

01:29:33.000 And so you go in and first they map out your brain and then you go in and for like a half hour they just pulse this magnetic thing onto your head.

01:29:43.000 It's like a very low grade MRI almost.

01:29:46.000 Yeah.

01:29:46.000 And I've had amazing results.

01:29:49.000 Wow.

01:29:49.000 And it lasts forever.

01:29:51.000 You go through this cycle of it and then Neil's had the same experience.

01:29:55.000 That's crazy.

01:29:56.000 Yeah.

01:29:56.000 Highly recommend it.

01:29:57.000 It lasts forever.

01:29:58.000 Yeah.

01:29:58.000 Well, they say some people have to come in and get a tune-up, but generally it's one time.

01:30:05.000 There's a woman named Kat Zingano.

01:30:07.000 She's one of the UFC's top bantamweights and she fought UFC champion Amanda Nunez back in the day and actually beat her before she won the title. 1.00

01:30:16.000 But in that fight she got hurt real bad and she talked about it on the podcast that she developed a bunch of brain issues.

01:30:30.000 Jesus!

01:30:45.000 I think it's a different kind of magnetic therapy than this one, because I think the center only exists around San Diego, and a lot of military guys come back and use it, football players, people with head injuries, and someone recommended it to her, and it helped her tremendously.

01:31:01.000 Really brought her back.

01:31:02.000 Yeah, there's some real breakthroughs going on because, you know, people are—and they still use, like, electric shock therapy.

01:31:10.000 Yeah.

01:31:10.000 And, you know, with pretty good results but a lot of side effects.

01:31:14.000 Did you get hit in the head a lot when you were a kid?

01:31:17.000 Sometimes.

01:31:19.000 But was there any, like, moments where you'd get knocked out?

01:31:22.000 I don't think I ever got knocked out.

01:31:24.000 Did you ever get hit with a bat or a fastball?

01:31:26.000 I played hockey, so I used to check people a lot, get knocked down.

01:31:29.000 Did you get really hurt doing that?

01:31:32.000 Nah, never that.

01:31:33.000 My neck. 0.99

01:31:33.000 My neck is still fucked up to this day from a check, a head check that I made. 0.99

01:31:38.000 But no, I don't think I ever had any concussions. 0.96

01:31:41.000 My friend Mark...

01:31:42.000 No, mine runs in the family.

01:31:44.000 My mom, my dad's got it.

01:31:46.000 It's very genetic depression.

01:31:48.000 No, I'm sure it is.

01:31:49.000 But I think it's accentuated by trauma.

01:31:51.000 Yeah.

01:31:51.000 And that's why I was asking you.

01:31:53.000 Because even though you probably...

01:31:55.000 I mean, I know you played a lot of hockey.

01:31:57.000 Even though you probably don't think about it. 0.94

01:31:58.000 Like, every time you collide and even falling down and slamming into the walls and shit like that.

01:32:03.000 Oh, that's true.

01:32:03.000 Yeah, there was a lot of that.

01:32:04.000 All that stuff rattles your brain.

01:32:05.000 Yeah.

01:32:06.000 Believe it or not, people get concussions from getting hit in the chest sometimes.

01:32:09.000 Really?

01:32:10.000 Yeah.

01:32:10.000 Here's Kat Singano.

01:32:11.000 It says EEG and vitals for my FDA approved to treat migraines, depression, improves anxiety, PTSD, TBI, sleep, ADHD, etc.

01:32:22.000 Now accepting insurance and TRICARE. Mindset Rancho Bernardo.

01:32:26.000 Check them out.

01:32:28.000 You can find this on Kat Zingano's Twitter page.

01:32:30.000 She's got a picture of her with this apparatus on her head. 0.93

01:32:33.000 But I know it helped her.

01:32:34.000 Yeah, I've heard of EEG. It's really effective.

01:32:37.000 It helped her a lot.

01:32:39.000 She could talk about What sparring was like before and afterwards.

01:32:43.000 Her coordination was off.

01:32:46.000 That's one of the things that happens to people when they get brain damage.

01:32:49.000 If they get knocked out or bad concussions is your system's not firing correctly.

01:32:55.000 So you'll see their body's not moving right.

01:32:57.000 So it almost resets the hard drive.

01:33:00.000 It's damaged.

01:33:01.000 It's just damaged.

01:33:02.000 The signals aren't getting to the muscles correctly.

01:33:05.000 One of the things that you see in older boxers when they've taken too many horrible fights and they're really starting to lose it is their steps look shorter.

01:33:15.000 Their legs are closer together.

01:33:16.000 They're having a harder time moving.

01:33:19.000 Right.

01:33:35.000 There's two possibilities.

01:33:37.000 It could be an injury.

01:33:38.000 It could be dealing with an injury.

01:33:39.000 But if you find out there's no injury, you're like, ooh, this is not good.

01:33:42.000 No, just look at Ben Roethlisberger out there in the pocket.

01:33:45.000 When he tries to run, it's like little steps, no movement in the shoulders.

01:33:50.000 And that guy used to be fast back there, but he's gotten hit a lot.

01:33:54.000 Just no getting away from it, man.

01:33:55.000 It is what it is.

01:33:57.000 Have you ever been knocked out?

01:33:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:34:00.000 Not unconscious.

01:34:01.000 I got stopped in a kickboxing match.

01:34:03.000 I got hit with a big left hook.

01:34:05.000 Boom! 0.99

01:34:06.000 My legs went out from under me.

01:34:07.000 It was crazy.

01:34:08.000 It didn't even hurt.

01:34:09.000 It was like, because you're full of adrenaline, so you don't feel it.

01:34:14.000 In terms of like, uh, ouchie.

01:34:16.000 It's not like ouchie hurt, but it's like, it wasn't like a painful thing.

01:34:20.000 It was like, bing, and then my legs just stopped working. 0.99

01:34:23.000 I'm like, whoa, what the fuck? 0.99

01:34:25.000 That was the hardest I ever been hit. 0.99

01:34:27.000 Cause it was just on the button.

01:34:28.000 It was a perfect.

01:34:29.000 I zigged when I should have, I was exhausted already.

01:34:32.000 This is my third fight of the day.

01:34:35.000 In a kickboxing tournament.

01:34:37.000 Crank.

01:34:38.000 And my legs just went, whoopsies! 1.00

01:34:40.000 You're pretty lucky with all the fighting you did that you never got knocked out.

01:34:43.000 Super lucky.

01:34:44.000 But I definitely got hit in the head.

01:34:46.000 A bunch.

01:34:47.000 Even though I didn't get knocked out, there's a lot of sparring.

01:34:50.000 There was a lot of getting punched in the face.

01:34:52.000 There was a lot of getting kicked in the head.

01:34:54.000 Less kicked in the head, believe it or not, because I was terrified.

01:34:56.000 I was always moving fast.

01:34:58.000 Did you wear helmets?

01:34:59.000 No.

01:34:59.000 We would wear these things.

01:35:01.000 The first tournaments, we used to wear these things on the back of the head. 0.99

01:35:04.000 And that was so when you get knocked out, your fucking head doesn't bounce too hard off the ground. 0.99

01:35:09.000 I'm not bullshitting. 1.00

01:35:10.000 They pick one spot.

01:35:11.000 There's a video of me fighting with one of those on.

01:35:14.000 There's a video of me on YouTube.

01:35:15.000 I've got this spot in the back of my head that looks like a bald spot like I would have if I had hair now.

01:35:22.000 Like a yarmulke?

01:35:24.000 Yeah, it's a red plastic thing.

01:35:26.000 It's hard to tell because it's a shitty video, but that red plastic thing was basically like a spongy thing that they used to use in Taekwondo terms.

01:35:33.000 Because first, it was no padding.

01:35:35.000 And then eventually they made people start wearing these helmets.

01:35:38.000 And they're basically like these cushiony helmets that go over the top of the head and you gotta strap them out underneath.

01:35:43.000 See how that guy's wearing it?

01:35:45.000 The white guy.

01:35:46.000 See the guy in the background or the right side that's wearing the white thing?

01:35:50.000 That's the standard one.

01:35:51.000 What I'm wearing is just the pad on the back of my head.

01:35:53.000 See that?

01:35:53.000 There's like a red thing in the back of my head.

01:35:56.000 That's in case I got KO'd. 0.99

01:35:58.000 Because we're fighting on a fucking... 1.00

01:36:00.000 This is a basketball court. 1.00

01:36:02.000 This is a wood floor.

01:36:03.000 That was you?

01:36:04.000 There's no protection.

01:36:04.000 That was me knocking that guy out.

01:36:07.000 This is me when I'm 19. Oh, shit. 1.00

01:36:10.000 So this was where we fought all the time. 1.00

01:36:12.000 We always fought on hardwood floors.

01:36:14.000 That's crazy!

01:36:16.000 Oh, way crazier than this.

01:36:17.000 Ready for this?

01:36:17.000 The Bay State Games.

01:36:19.000 I fought in the Bay State Games.

01:36:21.000 We fought on a tarp that was laid out over a cement floor.

01:36:24.000 Wow.

01:36:25.000 Yeah, and I knocked a guy out and his head bounced off the cement.

01:36:28.000 Oh my God.

01:36:29.000 I kicked this dude in the head and his head bounced off cement. 0.88

01:36:32.000 I'll never forget that sound. 1.00

01:36:34.000 Shit. 1.00

01:36:34.000 I was 19. I didn't know what the fuck to do. 1.00

01:36:37.000 This is where the tournament was. 0.97

01:36:39.000 This is okay.

01:36:40.000 This is okay.

01:36:40.000 We're going to do this.

01:36:41.000 Yeah.

01:36:41.000 We're going to fight here.

01:36:42.000 If that was today, I would be like, are you guys out of your fucking mind? 1.00

01:36:46.000 I would be screaming. 1.00

01:36:48.000 If I went with my kid...

01:36:50.000 And he was supposed to fight in a tournament, and I got there and there was a thin plastic tarp stretched out over a smooth concrete floor. 0.99

01:36:57.000 I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

01:36:59.000 Are you crazy? 1.00

01:37:00.000 You need pads. 0.94

01:37:01.000 You need people to make sure they don't go out of bounds.

01:37:03.000 This is just tarp laid down over concrete.

01:37:06.000 Wow.

01:37:07.000 It was so, so dangerous.

01:37:09.000 So I definitely got my noggin rattled.

01:37:12.000 Yeah.

01:37:13.000 A gang of times.

01:37:14.000 Yeah.

01:37:14.000 I don't know how many times.

01:37:16.000 I used to do gymnastics for like six years, starting when I was like six.

01:37:21.000 Can you do backflip?

01:37:22.000 Oh yeah, I used to do double backs.

01:37:24.000 No way!

01:37:25.000 No, I trained for like six years hard.

01:37:27.000 No way!

01:37:27.000 How did I not know this?

01:37:28.000 Yeah, so I used to do round off back handspring into a double back.

01:37:33.000 Can you still do that?

01:37:34.000 I haven't tried a single back in a while, but I could do standing backflips until a few years ago.

01:37:40.000 Wow! 0.99

01:37:41.000 No shit! 1.00

01:37:43.000 Dude, I've always wanted to learn how to do that. 1.00

01:37:46.000 I over-rotated a flip one time and I fucking slammed my head in the mats back then. 0.81

01:37:50.000 When you see floor exercise today, it's not even the same sport. 0.97

01:37:54.000 It's all springboard with like two inches of padding. 0.93

01:37:58.000 When we did it, it was those fucking rubber, you know, half-inch thick mats that you roll out and the corners come popping up. 0.96

01:38:05.000 That's what we used to do it on. 0.98

01:38:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:38:07.000 Yeah, so you were fucking twisting your ankle all the time landing on that shit. 1.00

01:38:11.000 How bad did you fuck your head up when you landed? 1.00

01:38:13.000 It was bad. 0.99

01:38:14.000 My injuries were my ankles, though. 0.91

01:38:16.000 I used to fuck up my... 0.89

01:38:17.000 And then, you know, you can't do anything for a little while. 0.94

01:38:20.000 So, the reason why I keep asking about head trauma is because my friend Mark Gordon, he's an expert in traumatic brain injury.

01:38:28.000 He's an endocrinologist, and he studies a lot of soldiers, and he's written a bunch of papers on...

01:38:32.000 I think?

01:38:50.000 Yeah.

01:39:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:39:16.000 I've never snowboarded, but apparently when the board kicks up, your feet go up in the air and the fucking head comes down. 0.99

01:39:21.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:39:21.000 That's how people get got. 0.99

01:39:23.000 Well, and you gotta wear a helmet.

01:39:25.000 Yeah.

01:39:25.000 And a lot of kids don't.

01:39:27.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:39:27.000 I've heard of kids getting fucked up. 0.99

01:39:29.000 Hell yeah. 0.99

01:39:30.000 But so all those things contribute to the foot.

01:39:34.000 Your brain is super delicate.

01:39:36.000 You know, it's really complicated machinery.

01:39:38.000 It's like when you drop your iPhone, maybe you drop it once.

01:39:41.000 How many times did you drop your iPhone?

01:39:42.000 You dropped it three times today. 1.00

01:39:43.000 Hey, hey, hey, put a fucking case on that thing. 0.99

01:39:46.000 I mean, they do these drop tests, right? 0.99

01:39:50.000 They do drop tests where they drop it over concrete and see how good it is.

01:39:54.000 Your head is similar in that you can get away with getting racked in the head.

01:39:59.000 But I was in Hawaii recently, and I dropped my phone the last time.

01:40:02.000 You know, you drop your phone, you know it's getting a little wonky, and then you drop it the last time, and it's just gone.

01:40:08.000 It's Gonzo.

01:40:08.000 It's Gonzoville.

01:40:09.000 It was just calling people.

01:40:11.000 Really?

01:40:12.000 Yeah, I was showing someone.

01:40:14.000 I had the phone open, and I was like, watch, watch.

01:40:17.000 It's on the contacts.

01:40:18.000 Look, it's just going to start calling people.

01:40:19.000 It just started calling people, and I'd hang up, and they would just call somebody else, and I'd hang up, and we'd just call somebody else.

01:40:24.000 It was just falling apart.

01:40:26.000 It wouldn't let me log in anymore.

01:40:28.000 It wasn't sensing my fingers touching the screen to put in the key code. 1.00

01:40:33.000 Was your shit all backed up? 1.00

01:40:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:40:35.000 It was all backed up, but it was like, God damn it. 0.98

01:40:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:37.000 God damn it. 1.00

01:40:38.000 Yep. 0.99

01:40:39.000 Yeah.

01:40:40.000 I smashed my screen. 0.99

01:40:41.000 I didn't give a fuck. 1.00

01:40:42.000 Your head's like that. 1.00

01:40:43.000 That's my point.

01:40:44.000 Yeah. 0.60

01:40:44.000 Your head's like that. 0.60

01:40:45.000 Like, if I didn't get that one last drop, maybe a phone would have been all right.

01:40:48.000 Yeah.

01:40:49.000 I would have kept that phone today.

01:40:50.000 Yeah.

01:40:51.000 You know, maybe I would have looked at the new phones when I don't need that.

01:40:53.000 It's basically with the same phone.

01:40:54.000 Right.

01:40:55.000 Nope.

01:40:56.000 Drop.

01:40:57.000 Smack.

01:40:58.000 I'm reading this book now about, speaking of changing your brain, it's called How to Change Your Mind.

01:41:04.000 It's got Michael Pollan.

01:41:06.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:41:07.000 He's been on the podcast talking about it. 1.00

01:41:08.000 Oh, no shit! 0.99

01:41:09.000 Yeah, it's a great episode. 0.99

01:41:10.000 Did he talk about his new book?

01:41:13.000 It's basically about...

01:41:24.000 Oh, yeah.

01:41:33.000 Alcoholism, people were 70% of people that underwent these treatments with psychedelics got sober.

01:41:40.000 Yeah.

01:41:40.000 Depression.

01:41:41.000 Cigarettes.

01:41:42.000 Cigarettes.

01:41:43.000 Yeah.

01:41:44.000 I mean, it's amazing. 0.99

01:41:45.000 And all that shit just got fucking thrown away. 0.99

01:41:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:41:49.000 Corrupt people kept that information away from folks.

01:41:53.000 The studies that Nixon funded, like Nixon funded a bunch of studies that showed positive benefits of marijuana.

01:41:58.000 Yeah.

01:41:59.000 Oh, is that right? 0.98

01:42:00.000 And they, you know, the Nixon administration just fucking canned them. 1.00

01:42:03.000 Like, get out of here with this shit. 1.00

01:42:04.000 I'm not releasing this. 0.99

01:42:05.000 Well, and the other thing he mentions is that it got squashed by shrinks because they had a vested interest in people not going into the woods for a weekend and coming back without their depression.

01:42:16.000 Really?

01:42:17.000 You think so?

01:42:17.000 Yeah, so they disqualified all the studies.

01:42:19.000 Oh, fuck yeah! 0.99

01:42:21.000 The psychiatrists were, like, horrified that these kind of results were coming back. 0.99

01:42:25.000 Was it that for sure, or was it people who've never taken psychedelics horrified that people were out there experimenting with their consciousness?

01:42:33.000 Because I think a lot of these psychiatrists are probably really straight-laced guys. 0.97

01:42:37.000 And so in their mind, especially in the shadows of reefer madness and all the propaganda they'd heard in the 30s and 40s, when you look at those people and they're out there in the fucking desert or wherever they're going, dancing around, taking mushrooms under the moonlight, they're blowing their brains out here. 0.97

01:42:53.000 You've got to stop this. 0.98

01:42:54.000 Right.

01:42:55.000 If there are straight-laced people that have never done psychedelics, they might not be in cahoots. 0.98

01:42:59.000 It might more likely be a bunch of people that think it's a fucking terrible idea to let people run around taking acid. 0.60

01:43:05.000 Well, there was just some of the medical journals came out with pieces saying that none of these studies are valid because there wasn't... 0.85

01:43:12.000 I forget what it is about studies that have to be consistent.

01:43:17.000 But the other thing is it was political, and you had Timothy Leary, who was, you know, the worst thing to happen to this kind of testing, because he was saying, was it drop out?

01:43:28.000 Tune in, turn on, drop out.

01:43:31.000 And that whole idea, they said, you know, people taking LSD are not going to fight your wars, and so that became a threat to the status quo.

01:43:40.000 Wow.

01:43:41.000 And that's when the laws started to come out.

01:43:45.000 Huh.

01:43:45.000 It's interesting because he also got a lot of people to get excited about it.

01:43:49.000 Right.

01:43:50.000 Yeah.

01:43:50.000 But he took it away from it being a medical process and he made it about, you know, enlightenment but in a kind of fluffy spiritual way.

01:44:03.000 Well, he made it a big movement, right?

01:44:05.000 I think he thought that he was probably going to change the world with that movement.

01:44:09.000 Yeah.

01:44:09.000 And he kind of did.

01:44:11.000 Definitely had a big impact.

01:44:12.000 Think about all those people that took acid.

01:44:14.000 Think about if you really stop and think about Apple and you really look at the fact that Apple...

01:44:23.000 Steve Jobs said that taking acid was one of the greatest things that's ever happened to him.

01:44:28.000 It was famously talked about it.

01:44:32.000 And who knows what an impact that had on him deciding to start Apple and what an impact Apple has had in the technology world.

01:44:40.000 Oh no, Pollan talks about it in the book.

01:44:42.000 He draws a straight line from people starting to take all this stuff because it was happening in Silicon Valley.

01:44:47.000 This whole psychedelic movement was like right in that area.

01:44:50.000 And he says that it, you know, Bill Gates apparently took it once.

01:44:55.000 But that all those guys were coming in and there were these people that would lead.

01:45:01.000 There was a guy named...

01:45:04.000 Ram Dass?

01:45:05.000 No, Hubbard.

01:45:06.000 Well, Ram Dass is mentioned also.

01:45:08.000 But there was a guy named Hubbard who was really like a corporate version of LSD. He was going to companies and he was taking the CEOs of companies and taking them in for these three-day drop acid experiences.

01:45:24.000 Right.

01:45:24.000 Wow.

01:45:25.000 Wow.

01:45:27.000 Corporate acid.

01:45:28.000 Well, they're kind of doing that at Burning Man.

01:45:30.000 Oh, is that right?

01:45:31.000 Some corporations go to, I mean, not a lot, but there's some cool companies that go to Burning Man.

01:45:36.000 Yeah.

01:45:37.000 You know?

01:45:39.000 What's this?

01:45:39.000 Alfred Matthew Hubbard.

01:45:41.000 He's an early proponent of the drug LSD during the 1950s.

01:45:45.000 He is reputed to be the Johnny Appleseed of LSD, and the first person to emphasize LSD's potential as a visionary.

01:45:53.000 Or transcendental drug. 1.00

01:45:56.000 But this guy had a fucking life. 1.00

01:45:58.000 Somebody's got to do a movie about his life. 1.00

01:46:00.000 He was like working for the government.

01:46:04.000 He was a double agent.

01:46:07.000 While he was dropping acid?

01:46:09.000 He started with nothing.

01:46:11.000 No, I think before, during, and after.

01:46:14.000 He had like eight different careers.

01:46:16.000 And he was like a spy and...

01:46:20.000 He started with nothing and ended up with a bunch of airplanes that he was leasing out, became a millionaire, and then spent it all trying to educate people on LSD. He was worth tens of millions of dollars, and he ended up broke at the end.

01:46:34.000 Wow.

01:46:35.000 Yeah.

01:46:36.000 Wow.

01:46:38.000 All for the LSD. He believed in it so strongly that it was going to change the world.

01:46:43.000 And it would have.

01:46:44.000 It may still.

01:46:45.000 Now it's coming back.

01:46:47.000 Well, there was a little hiccup where several generations had to pass before people started understanding that there's a risk to everything.

01:46:56.000 There's a risk to sports. 0.99

01:46:58.000 There's a risk to every fucking thing you do. 0.99

01:47:01.000 Driving your car is a risk. 1.00

01:47:02.000 There's a risk with psychedelics.

01:47:04.000 But there's also a reward.

01:47:05.000 And I think if you're going to be honest, you have to look at both of them.

01:47:08.000 You have to look at the potential risk.

01:47:09.000 You have to look at the reward.

01:47:11.000 And they're not looking at the reward.

01:47:14.000 There's too many people out there that are trying to deny the reward.

01:47:17.000 And you've got to find out why.

01:47:18.000 And in this day and age, it might be...

01:47:20.000 A conspiracy.

01:47:21.000 It might be some pharmaceutical industry that doesn't want it to be legal because it would undermine their profits. 0.75

01:47:27.000 It might be.

01:47:28.000 It might be some law enforcement unions that think it's a bad idea to make less things illegal. 0.66

01:47:34.000 It'll take, you know...

01:47:35.000 Prisons.

01:47:36.000 Yeah, it'll take people away, you know, in terms of the amount of people that they need for the job.

01:47:40.000 You know, which I think that's another story.

01:47:44.000 But when you, you know...

01:47:49.000 People look at that kind of stuff, and you look at the underlying sort of patterns that we follow in this country.

01:48:00.000 Are you happy or not happy with the way things go, the way things are run?

01:48:07.000 In what sense?

01:48:09.000 Just in any sense, in all of it.

01:48:13.000 I trust that we do have the best system out there, and we challenge it every day, and I still think that we live in a place where the tenants of our society are in place.

01:48:26.000 For sure.

01:48:27.000 They swing one way or the other, but I still believe in democracy, and I think the internet, as an overall thing, has been positive for people getting their voices out and for...

01:48:39.000 For information, period.

01:48:41.000 Yeah.

01:48:41.000 Being distributed.

01:48:42.000 But the idea that we're faced with that in this day and age, there's grown adults telling other grown adults what they can and can't put in their body.

01:48:51.000 Yeah.

01:48:51.000 And they're not being honest about the benefits.

01:48:53.000 Right.

01:48:53.000 That's where it gets squirrely.

01:48:55.000 That's where the whole thing falls apart.

01:48:57.000 Like, you're just a guy.

01:48:58.000 Like, if you and I are the only two people on the planet, and you're like, hey man, I'm not going to let you take that acid.

01:49:02.000 Like, why?

01:49:03.000 Why?

01:49:04.000 Well, because it's illegal.

01:49:06.000 Look, I wrote it down.

01:49:07.000 Can't take the acid.

01:49:08.000 Right.

01:49:08.000 Well, that would be preposterous.

01:49:10.000 Yeah.

01:49:10.000 But somehow or another it works when there's a million people.

01:49:13.000 Then a person can tell, you know, if you're a fucking grown adult, you can't tell me what I can take. 1.00

01:49:19.000 That's stupid. 1.00

01:49:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:49:21.000 If you can't prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that what I'm going to take is going to fuck with you, if you can't prove that, then stop. 1.00

01:49:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:49:30.000 Look, if someone does something, if takes something and does something, they take PCP and they run face first through a fucking 7-Eleven window, that's on them. 0.98

01:49:37.000 That's on their actions. 0.77

01:49:39.000 It doesn't mean you shouldn't be able to try PCP. And I don't think you should try PCP. I think when enough people smash through windows and go crazy, go, hey, maybe that's a drug I should fucking avoid.

01:49:48.000 But that's how you find out about that. 0.95

01:49:50.000 You let grown adults make their own decisions. 0.99

01:49:53.000 And if you're the one who's making the decisions for all the grown adults, you better have some real fucking logic to what you're saying. 0.98

01:49:59.000 And it turns out they don't. 0.98

01:50:00.000 And this is the same society that allows the pharmaceuticals to peddle opiates to people for the last 30 years, saying that it was the greatest thing you could do.

01:50:09.000 Exactly.

01:50:10.000 I think it's good that they make money because they make medicine that helps a lot of people.

01:50:14.000 They're not all bad.

01:50:16.000 I think, in general, pharmaceuticals have helped people in tremendous ways.

01:50:21.000 But you can't deny that if there's some way, shape, or form that people are influencing other people having access to beneficial things because it would impact their profit line, That's evil.

01:50:35.000 That's evil. 1.00

01:50:36.000 You have a lot of fucking money. 1.00

01:50:39.000 If you're really going out of your way to hire lobbyists to make sure that mushrooms don't get on the table, come on, man. 1.00

01:50:48.000 You're a fucking real problem. 1.00

01:50:51.000 That's a real problem. 1.00

01:50:52.000 If you look at yin and yang, this is the opposing forces that we're battling to try to get total, complete freedom of your consciousness.

01:51:01.000 These are the opposing forces.

01:51:02.000 They're ignorance.

01:51:03.000 Like, these psychiatrists, I guarantee you these psychiatrists were worried about correlations between psychotic episodes and psychedelic drug use, and they're worried about people falling apart, and they're right.

01:51:15.000 They're right.

01:51:16.000 So the ones that wanted to get it illegal, they're right. 0.99

01:51:18.000 It's like working on backflips when there's a fucking thin pad under you. 0.99

01:51:22.000 Yeah, you can fall on your head. 1.00

01:51:23.000 You're right.

01:51:24.000 And we say, don't do gymnastics!

01:51:26.000 People fall on their head.

01:51:28.000 One out of ten falls on their head.

01:51:30.000 You're not doing gymnastics. 1.00

01:51:31.000 You're not falling on your fucking head. 1.00

01:51:32.000 Right. 1.00

01:51:32.000 It's the same thing. 1.00

01:51:34.000 It's the same thing.

01:51:35.000 So people worry about it that don't really have experience in it.

01:51:38.000 I guarantee you most of those psychiatrists just didn't have experience in it or were super cautious folks.

01:51:44.000 Because if they did have experience with it, maybe they try a little mushroom dose and they'd be like, wow, this is amazing.

01:51:51.000 Right, and also controlling, you know, set and setting they keep talking about, you know, and realizing that the, you know, occurrence of a psychotic episode is so much lower when it's,

01:52:06.000 you know, when it's being dispensed the right way.

01:52:09.000 Yeah, so much lower.

01:52:11.000 You ever been led through it by somebody?

01:52:13.000 Not really.

01:52:14.000 Like, when you did ayahuasca, was there, like, a guide?

01:52:15.000 I didn't do ayahuasca.

01:52:16.000 I just did DMT. Oh.

01:52:18.000 Aubrey, my friend Aubrey acted as a, like, he sort of, like, set the setting in a way where it was, you know, I would say, like, spiritual.

01:52:29.000 Like, not...

01:52:31.000 Not over the top, but just announcing your intentions.

01:52:35.000 That we're going into this.

01:52:37.000 We're going in this.

01:52:38.000 We're going to let go.

01:52:40.000 We're going to give thanks to all the spirits around us and all the energy around us.

01:52:46.000 Just go into this with a good intention.

01:52:49.000 Be grateful.

01:52:51.000 Go into it with gratitude.

01:52:54.000 And then the way it hits you, it hits you like Like an infinite cyclone of geometric patterns in impossible colors just blasting in your brain instantaneously and you're like Going into it with the intention of letting go is probably one of the best pieces of advice you could give people to avoid a freakout.

01:53:18.000 Right.

01:53:18.000 Go with it.

01:53:19.000 Let it go.

01:53:20.000 Just let yourself go.

01:53:22.000 And what it's trying to do is your ego is trying to wrestle with this grizzly bear, this enormous short-faced bear on steroids.

01:53:29.000 Your ego is trying to wrestle with this impossible-to-resist force.

01:53:33.000 And that's what leads to a lot of people freaking out.

01:53:36.000 So losing your ego is the ultimate goal of it?

01:53:42.000 I don't think anybody ever really loses their ego.

01:53:45.000 I think you keep it in check.

01:53:47.000 You lose some of it.

01:53:48.000 You keep some of it because it's part of your survival mechanism.

01:53:52.000 The real problem is having a healthy ego.

01:53:55.000 You know?

01:53:55.000 Like...

01:53:58.000 Like, if your wife looks good, and she's looking at herself in the mirror, she's like, I look good. 0.98

01:54:01.000 You look fucking great. 0.97

01:54:02.000 I do look good. 0.99

01:54:03.000 Like, she feels good.

01:54:05.000 That's ego, right?

01:54:06.000 You want to know you look good.

01:54:07.000 But it's not a bad ego.

01:54:09.000 It's fun.

01:54:09.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:54:10.000 Yeah.

01:54:12.000 The real problem is when it gets out of control and toxic, then it looks like, ugh.

01:54:17.000 Other people see it, and they're like, ew.

01:54:19.000 You know, you see gross...

01:54:22.000 Just gross behavior, gross selfishness.

01:54:25.000 You see that and you go, oh, that's the bad part of the ego.

01:54:28.000 That's what I'm seeing.

01:54:30.000 But the key is to know which is which.

01:54:33.000 And that's hard.

01:54:34.000 It's hard to know which is which.

01:54:35.000 Which one is the overwhelming force inside your mind?

01:54:38.000 Which one is the one that's controlling your consciousness and your behavior?

01:54:42.000 Is it the good one or the bad one?

01:54:44.000 Is it the fun, healthy one?

01:54:45.000 Or is it the one that is completely obsessed with yourself and only yourself?

01:54:51.000 You don't know until you have these experiences.

01:54:53.000 And then the nature of them gets exposed.

01:54:57.000 It takes them down to the roots.

01:54:58.000 And you start thinking about, where did all this come from?

01:55:02.000 What's the source of all this?

01:55:04.000 There's a validation issue.

01:55:06.000 There's this issue.

01:55:07.000 There's a trust issue.

01:55:07.000 There's a...

01:55:08.000 Whatever the fuck it is, it's swirling out of that in this unnatural form to create the negative behavior that you are manifesting in your life. 0.99

01:55:23.000 All of it comes from something. 0.99

01:55:25.000 And one of the things about psychedelic experiences is it shuts the ego off for a second and lets you stand outside of it and go, look what that thing's doing to you.

01:55:33.000 Look at this thing.

01:55:34.000 This thing's gross. 0.84

01:55:35.000 Not only that, it doesn't work.

01:55:37.000 Here's, for example, ego that doesn't work.

01:55:39.000 Name-dropping.

01:55:41.000 Like, if you're hanging out with someone and he's like, yeah, you know, Sean Penn was over my house last night, man.

01:55:45.000 Right.

01:55:46.000 You know what?

01:55:48.000 Jeremy Piven was just telling me about that last week.

01:55:51.000 Name-dropping?

01:55:52.000 Just kidding.

01:55:54.000 Why that name?

01:55:56.000 But, like, it doesn't really work.

01:55:58.000 Yeah.

01:55:59.000 But everybody knows you're name-dropping.

01:56:00.000 You know, like, yeah, Steven Spielberg and I are pretty tight.

01:56:03.000 You're like, what?

01:56:04.000 Yeah.

01:56:04.000 But it's one thing, if you told me you went over Sean Penn's house, I'd be like, oh, what's he like?

01:56:11.000 Then it wouldn't be name-dropping.

01:56:13.000 If you did it, it wouldn't be name-dropping.

01:56:15.000 If you told me I was hanging out with Sean Penn, I'd be like, oh, how weird.

01:56:19.000 Well, because it's the beginning of a story.

01:56:21.000 I'm not just going to let that hang as a follow-up.

01:56:24.000 Yeah, that's not your whole thing.

01:56:25.000 Yeah.

01:56:26.000 Right, so comedy is like name-dropping with stories.

01:56:30.000 Yeah.

01:56:31.000 With good stories that go with it.

01:56:32.000 But you know there are comedians that are really guileless about just bringing a name in or bringing up a project they worked on.

01:56:41.000 And you look back at the joke and you go...

01:56:44.000 Could have told that joke without telling me that Frank Sinatra was in the audience that night.

01:56:49.000 Yes, exactly.

01:56:50.000 Yeah.

01:56:51.000 And I remember Anthony Clark used to do that when he was coming up in Boston.

01:56:55.000 He was the guy, the young, hot guy in Boston.

01:57:00.000 Dude. 0.98

01:57:01.000 And I mean, that dude, you put his name on a marquee, and he was fucking one year out of college, and he was this cute guy with the southern accent and the baseball cap on, and he was silly, and he would fill up a fucking room, and he would just... 0.98

01:57:15.000 And then he started to get some success, and it always found his way in his act. 0.94

01:57:20.000 He would talk about, yeah, you know, I was talking to this actor when I was doing Chicago on Broadway, and...

01:57:26.000 No, not Chicago.

01:57:27.000 What did he do?

01:57:28.000 Oklahoma.

01:57:29.000 He did Oklahoma on Broadway.

01:57:31.000 When he was like 24 years old.

01:57:34.000 Wow.

01:57:35.000 And then he just started...

01:57:37.000 He got in with River Phoenix and he did like three River Phoenix movies. 0.98

01:57:42.000 And he was fucking good. 0.88

01:57:44.000 And then somehow he got into the TV route and didn't follow the film route. 0.98

01:57:49.000 But he's a good actor.

01:57:51.000 Yeah, I remember he had Boston Common.

01:57:53.000 Remember that?

01:57:54.000 Boston Common.

01:57:55.000 And that didn't go.

01:57:56.000 It went for a little while, but it got canceled.

01:57:58.000 And it was a show that was all his.

01:58:00.000 Right.

01:58:00.000 And then he went to do Yes, Dear.

01:58:02.000 And he did Yes, Dear for a long time.

01:58:04.000 No, but then he did one with Dan Aykroyd.

01:58:06.000 Oh, he did?

01:58:07.000 Where Dan Aykroyd was a priest.

01:58:08.000 Maybe they were both priests.

01:58:10.000 Really?

01:58:10.000 Yeah.

01:58:11.000 Really?

01:58:12.000 That might have been F. Because Yes, Dear was on a good seven, eight years, easily.

01:58:18.000 Forever.

01:58:18.000 Yeah.

01:58:19.000 Yeah.

01:58:20.000 Soul man.

01:58:21.000 Soul man.

01:58:23.000 So that dude, and his quote per episode was very high from the get-go.

01:58:30.000 And he just kept buying real estate.

01:58:33.000 Well, that's what he does now, right?

01:58:37.000 You haven't talked to him in a while.

01:58:38.000 I think I heard he sells real estate now.

01:58:40.000 Yeah.

01:58:42.000 I always liked Anthony.

01:58:43.000 He was a murderer back in Boston. 1.00

01:58:45.000 I reached to see him at Faneuil Hall, and he would fill that fucking place. 0.99

01:58:49.000 The comedy connection when they moved, when Blumenwright took over and they moved to the big room, and they moved out of that little tiny room and put it in Faneuil Hall. 0.98

01:58:56.000 I remember walking through there one day, and Anthony Clark was murdering, and I was like, this is 90% women. 1.00

01:59:03.000 This is so weird.

01:59:04.000 Oh, is that right?

01:59:06.000 It's all women. 1.00

01:59:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:59:07.000 They'd all come to see him.

01:59:08.000 Guys loved him, too.

01:59:09.000 Don't get me wrong, but women really loved him.

01:59:11.000 They thought he was so cute, you know?

01:59:13.000 Well, they say that's the secret to being a draw, is appeal to women, because they're the ones that decide what to do at night. 1.00

01:59:19.000 Yes.

01:59:19.000 Yeah.

01:59:20.000 Right.

01:59:21.000 Like, there's not a whole lot of chicks begging to go to Slayer. 0.99

01:59:27.000 Right?

01:59:27.000 And if they are, take them.

01:59:29.000 That's a good one.

01:59:30.000 Yeah, they want to go see someone cute.

01:59:33.000 I bet there's probably a disproportionate number of chicks going to see Aquaman. 0.90

01:59:37.000 I bet if you looked at the number of women that want to go see a superhero movie and the number of women that want to go see Aquaman, it's off the charts in Aquaman's favor.

01:59:50.000 Someone should do a study.

01:59:52.000 That's a handsome man.

01:59:53.000 What's his name?

01:59:54.000 Jason Momoa.

01:59:55.000 He was badass in Game of Thrones.

01:59:57.000 He's a beast, too.

01:59:58.000 Yeah.

01:59:59.000 Super nice guy, too.

02:00:00.000 I met that guy in a Whole Foods.

02:00:01.000 He's a sweetheart.

02:00:03.000 Sort of.

02:00:04.000 Just telling you how sweetheart he is.

02:00:06.000 Like, you're so handsome.

02:00:07.000 It's confusing.

02:00:09.000 So tall and beautiful.

02:00:11.000 I'm feeling weird feelings right now.

02:00:12.000 Yeah, look at that guy.

02:00:13.000 Yeah.

02:00:14.000 Yeah.

02:00:16.000 My wife said it best.

02:00:17.000 She said, he's everybody's type.

02:00:19.000 She's like, you know, some girls, Brad Pitt's their type. 0.98

02:00:22.000 You know, some girls, it's, you know, fill in the blank. 1.00

02:00:27.000 Yeah.

02:00:28.000 Some girls is Jimmy Fallon. 1.00

02:00:30.000 Look at that.

02:00:30.000 Yeah, he's everybody's type.

02:00:34.000 And he's a giant.

02:00:36.000 And he's got awesome tattoos. 0.97

02:00:37.000 And he's a fucking nice guy. 0.96

02:00:39.000 Are those his real tattoos? 0.99

02:00:41.000 I don't believe so.

02:00:42.000 I think that's just for Aquaman.

02:00:43.000 That's his tattoos for Aquaman.

02:00:45.000 What are his real tattoos?

02:00:45.000 He's got a gang of real tattoos.

02:00:48.000 The forearm ones, I think, is his real tattoos.

02:00:51.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:00:52.000 Boy, that takes some time and makeup because if he's doing a role where they don't want that, that's a lot of time covering that shit up every day. 0.99

02:00:59.000 I don't think they have to cover up shit with him. 1.00

02:01:01.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:01:02.000 Let that beautiful face get on screen.

02:01:06.000 Let all those dampened panties do the talking. 1.00

02:01:08.000 Woo! 0.99

02:01:12.000 See you again tomorrow, ma'am.

02:01:13.000 Woo! 0.99

02:01:15.000 Yeah, girls are going to that movie. 1.00

02:01:16.000 It's like a porn theater in Times Square in the 70s for women. 1.00

02:01:20.000 It's probably like thick.

02:01:21.000 Slipping their hands down.

02:01:22.000 Thick with moisture in the air.

02:01:23.000 You're fanning yourself off.

02:01:25.000 All these little heaters.

02:01:27.000 You're walking out. 0.72

02:01:27.000 Crotch heaters. 0.72

02:01:28.000 Your feet are stuck on the floor.

02:01:29.000 You think it's the popcorn butter?

02:01:31.000 Nope.

02:01:32.000 Nope.

02:01:33.000 Nope.

02:01:34.000 Yeah.

02:01:35.000 How do we get on subject to him? 0.78

02:01:38.000 Aquaman, girls, porn. 0.99

02:01:39.000 Anthony Clark. 0.98

02:01:39.000 Oh yeah, girls deciding what to go see. 0.98

02:01:42.000 Yeah, right.

02:01:42.000 Yeah, girls would be, they'd be like, yeah, let's go see Aquaman.

02:01:44.000 And you'd be like, wait a minute, I thought you hate superhero movies.

02:01:46.000 Whatever.

02:01:47.000 You want to go?

02:01:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:01:50.000 You're like, shit! 1.00

02:01:51.000 She wants to stare at Jason Momoa. 1.00

02:01:53.000 Fuck! 1.00

02:01:54.000 Right. 1.00

02:01:56.000 He is pretty beautiful.

02:01:58.000 You watch him on screen. 1.00

02:01:58.000 Damn it! 1.00

02:01:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:02:00.000 Shit! 1.00

02:02:00.000 I can't hate her. 1.00

02:02:01.000 You think some women watch MMA for that reason? 1.00

02:02:03.000 I think some guys are cute. 1.00

02:02:04.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

02:02:06.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

02:02:07.000 Not only cute, but savages. 1.00

02:02:09.000 Right.

02:02:10.000 I mean, the number of women with sketchy childhoods that are attracted to MMA fighters is going to be off the charts. 0.99

02:02:19.000 Yeah.

02:02:20.000 I don't want to say that in a very polite way.

02:02:22.000 As polite as I can say it.

02:02:25.000 I think even regular women, I think like lawyers, like buttoned-down women. 1.00

02:02:29.000 Yeah.

02:02:29.000 Oh, because they're around neutered men all day.

02:02:32.000 Yeah, you're around a guy like, you know who Luke Rockhold is?

02:02:35.000 No.

02:02:35.000 Might be better looking than Jay's mama.

02:02:37.000 And he's a UFC, he was middleweight champion.

02:02:42.000 Beautiful.

02:02:43.000 Six foot three, six foot four, somewhere in that range.

02:02:45.000 Perfect features.

02:02:45.000 Looks like a model.

02:02:47.000 Handsome as fuck. 1.00

02:02:48.000 God, I want to see him. 1.00

02:02:48.000 Look at him. 1.00

02:02:49.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

02:02:50.000 Ass kicker. 0.99

02:02:51.000 That's not the best picture of him, bro. 1.00

02:02:52.000 That's kind of gay. 0.99

02:02:53.000 That's after a fight. 0.98

02:02:55.000 Yeah.

02:02:55.000 See him before a fight.

02:02:56.000 He's a beast.

02:02:57.000 But point is, there's guarantee.

02:03:00.000 Go to that one above with the blue shorts on. 0.99

02:03:02.000 What you see is, look at that handsome bastard. 0.99

02:03:05.000 Look at him. 0.99

02:03:06.000 Yeah, he's got a good build.

02:03:07.000 That's the kind of build my wife likes. 0.97

02:03:09.000 She doesn't like it too big.

02:03:11.000 She likes it like me and him.

02:03:12.000 Slow down.

02:03:13.000 You and him are the same? 1.00

02:03:14.000 The fuck? 1.00

02:03:17.000 For sure, girls are watching that guy, though. 1.00

02:03:19.000 Like, okay, here's another one.

02:03:20.000 George St. Pierre.

02:03:22.000 100%.

02:03:22.000 Look at that.

02:03:23.000 Beautiful body.

02:03:24.000 Oh, yeah.

02:03:24.000 George St. Pierre is beautiful.

02:03:26.000 George St. Pierre literally has to beat women away from him.

02:03:30.000 Yeah.

02:03:31.000 Get away. 0.73

02:03:31.000 Get away from me. 0.73

02:03:33.000 I'm busy.

02:03:34.000 I am busy.

02:03:35.000 Go to that picture up there where he's throwing a punch.

02:03:38.000 The one right there.

02:03:39.000 Look at that.

02:03:40.000 I mean, you don't think girls would be begging to have that inside of them. 1.00

02:03:44.000 Let's just be honest.

02:03:45.000 If I was a woman, if I was a heterosexual woman, and I saw that guy, and he was like, would you like a drink? 0.99

02:03:50.000 I'd be like, fuck yes, I'd like a drink. 1.00

02:03:52.000 God damn, you savage. 1.00

02:03:53.000 Let's do this. 1.00

02:03:54.000 Yeah, I want a drink. 1.00

02:03:55.000 Can we have it after you fuck me? 1.00

02:03:56.000 Yeah, I don't want to get too drunk. 1.00

02:03:58.000 I want to feel it still.

02:03:59.000 Woo! 0.99

02:04:00.000 Yeah.

02:04:02.000 And they go after it?

02:04:04.000 Are some of the players?

02:04:05.000 Some of the fighters?

02:04:06.000 Oh, I don't want to talk about that.

02:04:07.000 That would be rude.

02:04:08.000 How dare you.

02:04:09.000 Kiss and tell.

02:04:10.000 But another thing that's interesting is female fighters, right? 1.00

02:04:14.000 I was reading a story about a husband who's a trainer, I think, and his wife was a boxer.

02:04:20.000 And I was reading a story about him...

02:04:23.000 Like, his experience, like, bringing her to the ring.

02:04:28.000 Like, getting her... 1.00

02:04:28.000 His wife is in there, and she's gonna knuckle up with some other chick and beat that shit, and maybe get really fucking hurt. 1.00

02:04:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:04:35.000 And to be there while this is all happening, that's a wild...

02:04:40.000 That's a wild life.

02:04:41.000 A female fighter is a wild creature. 1.00

02:04:44.000 You gotta think, a male fighter, it's like almost all boys, somewhere in the back of their head, have this... 1.00

02:04:52.000 Ridiculous fantasy of being able to fuck everybody up. 1.00

02:04:55.000 Like, yeah, come on, bitch! 1.00

02:04:57.000 You know, fight a bunch of people like a goddamn Chuck Norris movie and karate kick people. 1.00

02:05:00.000 That would be cool. 0.99

02:05:01.000 It's just the reality of learning how to do that.

02:05:03.000 It's like, oh, I don't want to do that.

02:05:04.000 That's too much.

02:05:05.000 It's too dangerous to scare. 1.00

02:05:07.000 Fuck this. 1.00

02:05:08.000 And most people don't do it. 1.00

02:05:09.000 But for women to have that is probably way more rare. 0.99

02:05:14.000 To have this desire to secretly fuck people up. 0.99

02:05:16.000 Probably way more rare. 0.98

02:05:18.000 Maybe like, let's be generous and say 20% of the number that men would want to fuck people up. 1.00

02:05:24.000 Maybe 20% of that is like the number that would be women. 0.99

02:05:28.000 So then how many of them go through with it?

02:05:30.000 Yeah.

02:05:30.000 How many of them go through with it and get to be like a Kat Zingano?

02:05:34.000 Or get to be like an Amanda Nunes? 0.98

02:05:35.000 Like, Jesus Christ.

02:05:37.000 That number's so small.

02:05:39.000 Yeah.

02:05:39.000 So small in terms of like general population.

02:05:42.000 Those are some wild humans. 1.00

02:05:44.000 If they get to that stage where they're fighting in a fucking cage for a living. 1.00

02:05:48.000 Woo! 1.00

02:05:49.000 Yeah.

02:05:50.000 Someone like Holly Holm.

02:05:51.000 Like that is a crazy way to make a living.

02:05:54.000 Yeah.

02:05:55.000 Yeah, and you gotta think if they make it that far, they're even more vicious than men because they've, you know, there's such a social taboo for them.

02:06:02.000 For men, it's like, oh, that's badass.

02:06:04.000 You're an MMA fighter.

02:06:05.000 But for women, everybody just thinks it's weird and they think there's something wrong with you. 1.00

02:06:09.000 Well, it's become more acceptable, but it's still terrifying, especially for men that don't train. 0.99

02:06:13.000 Like, for a man who doesn't train and he's, like, around Misha Tate, she's really hot, and she can also fuck people up. 1.00

02:06:21.000 They get weirded out. 1.00

02:06:23.000 Like, Imagine, that girl could fuck you up. 1.00

02:06:25.000 She's hot and she could fuck you up. 1.00

02:06:28.000 That's not nice. 1.00

02:06:29.000 Some guys probably love that.

02:06:31.000 People like that bondage where they're tied up and overpowered. 0.99

02:06:35.000 But one of the odds that a girl who knows how to fuck people up is looking for that kind of guy. 1.00

02:06:41.000 Almost zero. 0.98

02:06:42.000 Yeah, that's true.

02:06:43.000 Those girls are looking for guys like Luke Rockhold. 0.88

02:06:45.000 They're looking to get stuffed by another alpha. 0.97

02:06:48.000 That would be a good porn movie right there. 1.00

02:06:50.000 Shit. 1.00

02:06:52.000 That would go for days. 1.00

02:06:53.000 What they should do is bank it. 0.97

02:06:55.000 Like, Luke Rock will just shoot a lot of porn and bank it.

02:06:57.000 And then have it release after he's retired from his career. 0.62

02:07:01.000 Yeah.

02:07:01.000 You know, because right now it's just going to get in the way.

02:07:03.000 Yeah.

02:07:03.000 It's going to be a distraction.

02:07:04.000 Right.

02:07:05.000 But he knows that's his 401k. 0.98

02:07:07.000 My porn. 0.99

02:07:10.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:07:11.000 Um...

02:07:14.000 Yeah, it's the numbers of women that become elite fighters. 1.00

02:07:18.000 I wonder what it is in terms of like the amount that try it and then the amount that become fully successful.

02:07:26.000 I bet it's a tiny, tiny percentage.

02:07:28.000 Yeah.

02:07:29.000 Like to get all the way through.

02:07:30.000 Like how many...

02:07:32.000 How many men when you were growing up, how many guys either wanted to learn how to box or wrestle or do some kind of martial arts?

02:07:41.000 A lot of wrestlers.

02:07:42.000 Yeah.

02:07:43.000 I mean, it was a school sport.

02:07:44.000 There was taekwondo and there was wrestling.

02:07:47.000 Those were pretty much the only forms that I saw.

02:07:49.000 We didn't have boxing in my town.

02:07:51.000 But a lot of kids you knew were into it, right?

02:07:53.000 Oh, yeah.

02:07:54.000 Yeah.

02:07:54.000 How many girls?

02:07:59.000 I can't think of any.

02:08:00.000 Super rare.

02:08:01.000 But the martial arts classes did have a lot of girls. 1.00

02:08:04.000 It's kind of interesting.

02:08:05.000 It was a good number.

02:08:06.000 It wasn't half, but it might have been 20%.

02:08:10.000 It might be 20% women that were in those classes because they wanted to learn self-defense. 1.00

02:08:16.000 I put my daughter in taekwondo.

02:08:20.000 She wasn't that into it, but I go, just do a year, just to give you some sense of facing somebody if a fight happens.

02:08:27.000 Yeah.

02:08:27.000 And some sense of what it's like to struggle with someone physically.

02:08:30.000 They're moving, you've got to move with them, you've got to...

02:08:33.000 The older you are, when you start learning that, the more difficult it is to incorporate into the way you think about things.

02:08:39.000 I think when you're young, if you have some experience with martial arts, you'll be more calm and confident if something happens when you get older.

02:08:47.000 You develop knowing how to move that way.

02:08:50.000 Yeah.

02:08:51.000 When you're already kind of set in your ways and you're injured and you're old and then someone wants to teach you a wheel kick, like, oh Christ.

02:08:58.000 Yeah.

02:08:58.000 Like, there's no way my body's going to do that.

02:09:00.000 Right.

02:09:00.000 My body doesn't move like that.

02:09:02.000 Yeah.

02:09:02.000 It's like you being able to do backflips.

02:09:05.000 Like, you could still do a backflip.

02:09:07.000 Your body learned how to do that when you were young.

02:09:10.000 It's in there.

02:09:11.000 That program's in there.

02:09:12.000 And there's a moment of faith when you do a backflip where when you go up, you have to go up before you go back.

02:09:18.000 And that's the first mistake and the constant mistake is people go to do a backflip and they lunge backwards.

02:09:26.000 And they land on their head.

02:09:27.000 But you really have to trust that you have to shoot your hands up, not back.

02:09:32.000 And then you pull it in and go over. 0.99

02:09:34.000 Damn, scary. 0.99

02:09:35.000 And that's like that with, I'm sure with martial arts, is this moves that are, there's a moment of faith. 0.99

02:09:41.000 When I don't train for a long time, then I try to do a turning sidekick on the heavy bag.

02:09:46.000 There's like a moment like, okay, I'm going to hit this thing, right?

02:09:48.000 What am I doing here?

02:09:49.000 I'm standing like this.

02:09:50.000 Okay, ready?

02:09:51.000 And turn.

02:09:52.000 Oh, I just dropped something.

02:09:53.000 Oh, I just dropped. 0.99

02:09:55.000 It's a big ass knife. 1.00

02:09:56.000 Shit. 1.00

02:09:57.000 That's not good to have around right there. 0.99

02:09:59.000 What am I, 12?

02:10:01.000 Keep this big giant knife on the table.

02:10:03.000 But yeah, when I do it today, to this day, I have to do it slow a couple times and get the feel of it if I haven't trained in a while.

02:10:09.000 And then it becomes a normal thing.

02:10:12.000 Right. 1.00

02:10:12.000 Man, it's hell on your fucking knees. 1.00

02:10:14.000 I got a new knee thing going on. 1.00

02:10:16.000 This is the third time I've had to get stem cells injected into this meniscus tear.

02:10:21.000 Oh, really?

02:10:22.000 I got this little tiny meniscus tear.

02:10:24.000 And it develops into a cyst.

02:10:28.000 The tear, we've hit it with stem cells a few times, and it doesn't give me any pain anymore, but a cyst keeps developing in that area, and the cyst has to get punctured and drained.

02:10:37.000 It's getting smaller and smaller. 0.93

02:10:39.000 It happened three different times where I had to get it drained, and the last time was a few days ago, and it was the smallest it's ever been, but still fucking annoying. 0.59

02:10:49.000 But you're still running. 0.77

02:10:51.000 Yep.

02:10:52.000 Doesn't hurt when you run?

02:10:53.000 I'm taking time off right now.

02:10:54.000 I'm taking a little bit of time off right now.

02:10:56.000 I'm going to take a couple weeks off and I'm going to run at a slower pace.

02:11:01.000 Just get the dog some exercise and I'm going to be more cautious about it.

02:11:05.000 I'm not going to push myself.

02:11:07.000 I'm trying to figure out what it is I'm doing that's causing this cyst to recur.

02:11:11.000 I think it's just overall pounding. 1.00

02:11:14.000 The hill running, kicking the bag and all that shit. 1.00

02:11:17.000 I need to let it fully set in before I go back to doing that shit. 1.00

02:11:23.000 So I'm just doing a bunch of other different stuff now. 0.99

02:11:25.000 A lot of yoga.

02:11:26.000 Does the cryogenics help?

02:11:28.000 It'll help somewhat.

02:11:29.000 What cryogenics is really good for is, first of all, it's really good for your mood.

02:11:34.000 If you've never done it before, the best kind or the kind where you get your whole body in there, not just your neck down.

02:11:40.000 The neck down's okay.

02:11:42.000 It's definitely better than nothing.

02:11:43.000 But the real feeling is when your head's under and your whole body is immersed in this...

02:11:51.000 Air that's cooled by liquid nitrogen. 0.98

02:11:54.000 It's fucking freezing, dude. 0.98

02:11:56.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:11:56.000 Have you done it? 0.99

02:11:57.000 No.

02:11:57.000 I want to do it.

02:11:58.000 Let's do it today.

02:11:59.000 Yeah, I'll do it.

02:12:00.000 We'll do it today.

02:12:00.000 Okay.

02:12:01.000 Okay, we're going to do it today.

02:12:02.000 You're going to love it.

02:12:03.000 It's a freak out, man.

02:12:04.000 It's a freak out.

02:12:05.000 How long do you stay in for?

02:12:06.000 Three minutes.

02:12:07.000 And then I stay out for 10 minutes and I do another three minutes.

02:12:11.000 Yeah.

02:12:12.000 You feel amazing afterwards.

02:12:14.000 It'll fix my knee.

02:12:15.000 Well, it won't fix it.

02:12:16.000 It'll reduce inflammation, though.

02:12:18.000 But norepinephrine, that's what it's called, right?

02:12:20.000 Is that the word?

02:12:22.000 Sure?

02:12:24.000 That stuff gets radically boosted in your brain.

02:12:28.000 It helps a lot of people with arthritis.

02:12:30.000 A lot of people who have a lot of inflammation, it helps them.

02:12:33.000 Is that how I say it?

02:12:34.000 I said it right? 1.00

02:12:35.000 It ramps that shit up. 1.00

02:12:36.000 You feel so good when you get out of there. 1.00

02:12:37.000 You're like, woo!

02:12:38.000 It lasts a while, too.

02:12:39.000 Yeah.

02:12:39.000 Ah!

02:12:40.000 Wow.

02:12:41.000 You were just freezing to death.

02:12:42.000 You were freezing to death.

02:12:44.000 You were on your way to death.

02:12:46.000 And you step out of it and you're like, wow.

02:12:48.000 And everything just feels, whoa!

02:12:51.000 Really?

02:12:52.000 Yeah, it feels good, man.

02:12:53.000 It feels good.

02:12:54.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:12:55.000 I fucking love swimming in cold water. 0.98

02:13:14.000 It's amazing for you. 0.99

02:13:14.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:13:15.000 A bunch of different studies, and I know Andy Galpin's been involved in a bunch of these studies, and Rhonda Patrick has discussed some of this research as well.

02:13:22.000 But what happens is there's a window of time after you lift weights where you should just leave your body alone and not ice anything.

02:13:29.000 And this is...

02:13:31.000 More beneficial to gaining strength and explosiveness and mass and stuff like that.

02:13:37.000 But that after a window of time, then it's beneficial to get into the ice bath or to do cryo or something like that.

02:13:46.000 But you want to give yourself, your body, a period of time to physiologically adjust to the work.

02:13:54.000 Like, your body knows what's happened.

02:13:56.000 Oh, Greg did deadlifts today.

02:13:58.000 Okay, okay, okay.

02:13:59.000 We gotta get everything in place.

02:14:01.000 But if you freeze it right there, then it has an effect on the overall...

02:14:06.000 And I might be butchering this.

02:14:07.000 But I think it has an effect on the overall amount of gains that you can make.

02:14:11.000 Okay.

02:14:12.000 Because your body's not sending the chemicals to the muscle the way it would.

02:14:15.000 Right.

02:14:15.000 See if you can find out if that's true.

02:14:18.000 That's a...

02:14:19.000 Figure out how to Google that one.

02:14:20.000 How do you Google that one?

02:14:22.000 It's supposed to work out.

02:14:22.000 Yeah, post-workout, cryotherapy, and hypertrophy.

02:14:27.000 Because that's what they're trying to figure out whether or not it's beneficial or not in that case.

02:14:35.000 So they think that...

02:14:37.000 It's really good for the mood, and it's really good for people with joint issues.

02:14:42.000 A lot of the folks that go there, they have back surgery or back issues, and it gives them a lot of relief.

02:14:49.000 And you can do it every day, too, because it's only three minutes.

02:14:52.000 The thing about something like that is it's not like any other kind of therapy.

02:14:56.000 You can't do it any longer. 0.99

02:14:57.000 It's not like you're being a pussy because you're only doing it for three minutes. 1.00

02:15:00.000 Bitch, you can't even do three minutes. 1.00

02:15:01.000 I bet the first time you go in there, two minutes, you're like, fuck this! 1.00

02:15:04.000 And you're like, oh my god! 1.00

02:15:06.000 At two minutes, you're probably ready to bail.

02:15:08.000 But then your body will get used to it, and then you can do three minutes.

02:15:10.000 But it's very controversial, especially because a woman died.

02:15:15.000 There was a woman in Vegas. 1.00

02:15:16.000 Yeah, a woman in Vegas was operating it herself, and apparently she was not in the right height, and the liquid nitrogen was getting into her lungs. 1.00

02:15:28.000 She was breathing it in, and she passed out.

02:15:29.000 And she passed out and froze to death.

02:15:32.000 Yeah, terrifying. 1.00

02:15:33.000 Damn. 1.00

02:15:34.000 Because she had, I think the story was that she had worked there, and she was after hours just doing therapy on herself, and she fucking fell asleep in there. 1.00

02:15:46.000 You should never do that by yourself. 0.83

02:15:48.000 If you do it at a reputable place, there'll always be someone standing by, watching while you're in.

02:15:52.000 They stand outside the door while you're inside of it.

02:15:55.000 Hmm.

02:15:56.000 It's scary, though.

02:15:57.000 Because you realize when you're in there, you're like, this is something you can't survive for that long.

02:16:04.000 You can survive it for a few minutes, but you're literally exposing yourself to something that is 100% fatal if you stay in it.

02:16:11.000 Yeah.

02:16:12.000 No, it's like cold water.

02:16:13.000 You don't have to be in freezing cold water.

02:16:15.000 They say the amount of hours you can survive in water is like surprisingly warm.

02:16:22.000 Yeah.

02:16:22.000 If it's like in the 40s, you can die after a couple hours.

02:16:27.000 Yep.

02:16:28.000 I'm throwing numbers out, but it's surprising.

02:16:31.000 Yeah.

02:16:31.000 Getting wet is one of the most dangerous things that can ever happen to you if you're in the winter in the mountains.

02:16:36.000 It's one of the most dangerous things.

02:16:38.000 You fall underwater. 0.99

02:16:39.000 They actually have rewarming drills that they teach people, particularly soldiers and outdoorsmen that are interested in this shit. 0.99

02:16:47.000 My friend John Barklow, he works for Sitka, that's a premier outdoor company. 0.99

02:16:54.000 They make hunting clothes and stuff like that.

02:16:57.000 And they have a whole video on how to do a rewarming drill.

02:17:00.000 And so what he does is him and his friend jump into a frozen river.

02:17:04.000 And then go into a tent and heat themselves back up again.

02:17:07.000 Wow.

02:17:08.000 Dude.

02:17:09.000 You watch this and your whole body just goes, ah!

02:17:13.000 Because they're in the winter and they jump into a river. 0.99

02:17:16.000 They've got to move the ice around and hop in this fucking frozen stream. 0.99

02:17:20.000 And they go all the way under. 0.98

02:17:21.000 And then they come out with their soaked down and all their soaked wool clothes.

02:17:25.000 And their soaked synthetics.

02:17:27.000 And they get into a tent.

02:17:28.000 They climb into their sleeping bags.

02:17:29.000 And they try to heat themselves up.

02:17:32.000 Wow. 1.00

02:17:32.000 Yeah, if you have no access to a building, a house, no shower, you're fucked. 1.00

02:17:39.000 You're out in the woods. 0.99

02:17:40.000 There's very specific things that you have to do in order to survive.

02:17:43.000 If you don't follow the right steps, you absolutely will die.

02:17:48.000 Yeah, it's really common.

02:17:50.000 It kills more people than probably anything in the woods.

02:17:54.000 Freezing to death.

02:17:55.000 Yeah, that movie Revenant freaked me out. 0.99

02:17:58.000 Just going into the woods up north for three months to collect pelts and you're walking through fucking streams and it's pouring rain and you got no heater, no electricity. 1.00

02:18:11.000 Fuck that. 1.00

02:18:12.000 Yeah, that's how people died. 1.00

02:18:14.000 A lot of people lived that way too.

02:18:16.000 A lot of people lived that way until they died. 0.97

02:18:19.000 I mean, you think about those people that made it across this country and the people like Lewis and Clark and all these pioneers that just didn't even know what the fuck was around the next corner. 0.98

02:18:31.000 Right. 1.00

02:18:32.000 And they just walked on through with, would they have like donkeys with shit on their back? 1.00

02:18:36.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:18:36.000 How much food do you have? 0.99

02:18:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:18:37.000 Do you even know where the fuck you're going? 1.00

02:18:39.000 You hit an impasse, you hike for miles and then you come up to a mountain and you gotta double back and go around. 0.99

02:18:45.000 Jesus Christ.

02:18:47.000 No Google Earth.

02:18:48.000 No nothing. 1.00

02:18:50.000 Shit maps. 1.00

02:18:51.000 Dog shit maps written by people you hope knew what the fuck they were talking about. 1.00

02:18:57.000 You know, you get maps from Native Americans. 1.00

02:18:59.000 You get maps from a sailor.

02:19:01.000 Try to figure it out. 0.99

02:19:03.000 And then you randomly go into the wrong territory and Indians want to kill you. 1.00

02:19:07.000 You know, there's an interesting film that's out on Netflix right now, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs.

02:19:12.000 It's a Coen Brothers movie.

02:19:14.000 And it's all about that.

02:19:15.000 It's all about the Old West.

02:19:17.000 It's really weird, man.

02:19:18.000 They're so weird.

02:19:19.000 They are the weirdest guys of all time.

02:19:21.000 The Coen Brothers?

02:19:22.000 Yeah.

02:19:22.000 The Big Lebowski, one of my all-time favorites.

02:19:25.000 They've just made so many cool, weird films.

02:19:27.000 But this one's really weird.

02:19:28.000 It's like a bunch of non-connected stories.

02:19:30.000 I thought they were connected, but they're not.

02:19:32.000 They're just all taking place in the same time period.

02:19:33.000 And it's all the Old West.

02:19:35.000 And they end pretty similarly. 0.99

02:19:37.000 They're all fucking dark. 0.98

02:19:39.000 And you gotta go into it. 0.99

02:19:40.000 I would highly recommend it, but go into it knowing it's gonna be fucking dark. 0.94

02:19:45.000 You gotta go there. 0.71

02:19:46.000 Yeah.

02:19:46.000 Just accept it.

02:19:47.000 But Tom Waits, his one is fucking amazing. 0.99

02:19:50.000 Amazing. 0.98

02:19:51.000 Yeah.

02:19:51.000 Dude, amazing.

02:19:52.000 Yeah, I thought it was Nick Nolte for a second.

02:19:55.000 Hell yeah.

02:19:55.000 Who is that?

02:19:55.000 Is that Nick Nolte?

02:19:56.000 Right.

02:19:58.000 Dude, it's so good.

02:20:00.000 That one was really good.

02:20:02.000 The singer guy was really good.

02:20:04.000 I love that he...

02:20:05.000 Well, I don't want to spoil it for people, but no, it's...

02:20:07.000 Yeah.

02:20:07.000 They're all great.

02:20:09.000 But at the end of it, I was like, what the fuck did I just watch? 0.98

02:20:11.000 Yeah. 0.85

02:20:13.000 Did you ever watch Deadwood?

02:20:15.000 Deadwood on HBO? No, I never did, man.

02:20:17.000 No, I never saw that.

02:20:17.000 You know what?

02:20:18.000 The thing about Deadwood is I watched it once and they were swearing so much that my bullshit alarm went off. 0.98

02:20:24.000 That's why I stopped watching. 0.98

02:20:26.000 Yeah.

02:20:26.000 I was like, I don't think people talked like that back then.

02:20:28.000 Yeah.

02:20:29.000 Because they didn't talk like that in the 50s and the 60s.

02:20:31.000 See, the trend doesn't make sense.

02:20:33.000 If people talked like that in the Wild West, then where did that go?

02:20:39.000 Where'd that go?

02:20:40.000 It all went into the ether?

02:20:41.000 They had kids.

02:20:42.000 They raised their children.

02:20:43.000 The children are around this kind of language.

02:20:45.000 And somehow or another, it escaped, and it went away, and it stopped.

02:20:48.000 That's not how the world works.

02:20:50.000 The world doesn't work that way. 0.99

02:20:51.000 The world works in the way that, like, you slowly introduce fucked up words, and then they become, like, the word fuck. 0.99

02:20:57.000 If you said the word fuck on television in the 1950s, you would get arrested. 1.00

02:21:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:03.000 Right? 1.00

02:21:03.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:04.000 How is that possible?

02:21:05.000 Stay on stage, you get arrested.

02:21:06.000 Yeah.

02:21:06.000 With Lenny Bruce.

02:21:07.000 Yeah.

02:21:07.000 George Carlin.

02:21:08.000 How is it possible that that is a hundred years removed from people saying it with abandon constantly?

02:21:14.000 I don't believe it.

02:21:15.000 Yeah.

02:21:16.000 Like...

02:21:17.000 I think a better example of what it was probably like is like Gangs of New York.

02:21:22.000 And then it's probably more accurate.

02:21:23.000 Yeah.

02:21:24.000 Like that was probably what people were like back then.

02:21:26.000 Right, right. 0.99

02:21:26.000 They were probably brutal as fuck, but I bet they didn't swear as much as we like to think they did. 0.99

02:21:31.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:21:32.000 The Deadwood thing was like they were using it as a... 0.99

02:21:36.000 I mean, maybe I need to go back and watch it before I talk shit. 0.95

02:21:40.000 But it felt like they were using it almost like to modernize it. 0.96

02:21:44.000 Yeah.

02:21:44.000 You know, they were having these people talk like scallywags would talk today.

02:21:48.000 Right.

02:21:49.000 They also say cursing is cultural.

02:21:51.000 Like, if you're in a, you know, they talk about how black people curse versus how Protestants curse. 0.64

02:21:59.000 What's this coffee? 0.97

02:22:00.000 Yeah, I'll have some more of that.

02:22:02.000 Did you have any?

02:22:03.000 I had a little bit.

02:22:04.000 This article about it says that they purposely changed the words to make it more contemporary. 0.96

02:22:09.000 Because people wouldn't have been buying if they were saying tarnation and gold darn and shit like that. 0.95

02:22:14.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:22:14.000 Yeah, there you go. 0.98

02:22:15.000 It wasn't tarnation.

02:22:15.000 Exactly.

02:22:16.000 But imagine if they did that with Vikings.

02:22:19.000 You know?

02:22:20.000 Like, yo, we pillaging or what?

02:22:22.000 What are we doing, dawg? 1.00

02:22:24.000 The fuck, man? 1.00

02:22:25.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:22:25.000 I want to be king of this bitch! 1.00

02:22:28.000 Yo, Thor! 1.00

02:22:29.000 Let's let loose on this shit! 1.00

02:22:31.000 Let's let loose on these bitches. 1.00

02:22:33.000 Yeah, I mean, maybe that's real similar. 0.99

02:22:38.000 Yeah, see, that's why.

02:22:39.000 Okay, so I'm not wrong.

02:22:41.000 Yeah, they did it on purpose.

02:22:43.000 They're bringing it back.

02:22:44.000 They're making either a movie or something or other, bringing the series back, because it ended in the middle of season two when that writer's strike happened.

02:22:52.000 Right.

02:22:52.000 I heard there's a dope Viking one that's on Netflix now.

02:22:56.000 I think it's a comedy.

02:22:57.000 Is it?

02:22:57.000 Hell yeah.

02:22:58.000 What is that?

02:22:59.000 Norse gods or something like that.

02:23:01.000 Let me see.

02:23:02.000 No, I don't think that's the one.

02:23:03.000 Somebody else told me about one.

02:23:05.000 I think I put it on my phone.

02:23:07.000 Norseman.

02:23:07.000 Norseman?

02:23:08.000 Is that it?

02:23:08.000 That might be it.

02:23:09.000 Is that a comedy?

02:23:11.000 No.

02:23:12.000 It's weird. 1.00

02:23:13.000 My kids fucking curse. 1.00

02:23:15.000 And I never cursed around the house. 1.00

02:23:17.000 My wife cursed a little. 0.98

02:23:18.000 But now suddenly it's okay.

02:23:20.000 And they're 15 and 18. But it's suddenly okay that we're at dinner and just fuck gets thrown around all the time. 1.00

02:23:26.000 Like, when did I okay that? 0.99

02:23:30.000 Is it Norseman?

02:23:32.000 It's just got a comedic vibe to it.

02:23:33.000 I don't know if it's like a full-on comedy.

02:23:35.000 Oh, okay.

02:23:36.000 I'm just going to skip the whole thing.

02:23:39.000 I'm not going to jump either.

02:23:40.000 This is not my kind of thing.

02:23:43.000 Just based off of that, I saw it. 0.99

02:23:44.000 That looks like some Monty Python shit. 0.99

02:23:48.000 Well, why not? 1.00

02:23:49.000 I've heard it's good, though.

02:23:50.000 This might be it.

02:23:53.000 This is too many new shows.

02:23:54.000 I can't keep up.

02:23:55.000 I can't keep up.

02:23:56.000 I know.

02:24:01.000 It's great.

02:24:02.000 There's such high quality and things are so good, but it's not great in that you can't keep up.

02:24:09.000 Have you started watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

02:24:11.000 Yeah, I saw the first season and then maybe one or two of the second season.

02:24:16.000 I really liked it. 0.99

02:24:17.000 I think she's fucking great. 0.99

02:24:19.000 Obviously the cast, Tony Shalhoub, but it just got so Jewish. 1.00

02:24:24.000 Don't say anything, because I'm just starting it.

02:24:27.000 Okay.

02:24:27.000 This is what I did.

02:24:28.000 You're going to love it. 1.00

02:24:28.000 I fucked up. 1.00

02:24:28.000 I fucked up and started with season two. 1.00

02:24:30.000 Oh, you did? 0.99

02:24:31.000 Started with episode one, season two, got to episode three.

02:24:34.000 I was like, what's wrong with this?

02:24:35.000 Yeah.

02:24:36.000 That's hilarious.

02:24:37.000 No, I didn't even know.

02:24:38.000 Somebody ought to tell me.

02:24:39.000 Somebody ought to tell me at the store.

02:24:41.000 I forget who told me, but I went back and watched the first episode of season one. 0.98

02:24:46.000 I was like, holy shit, this is even better.

02:24:48.000 But I thought it was good watching the first episode of season two not even knowing how she got there. 0.98

02:24:52.000 Because I knew it was about stand-up.

02:24:53.000 I knew she was a comic. 0.93

02:24:55.000 But then going back and watching it from season one, I'm like, oh, okay.

02:24:59.000 Yeah, I think there's a lot of stuff about how they...

02:25:01.000 And writing on a show that's similar in that it's about a comedian starting out on Crashing.

02:25:07.000 I think they really capture the process of somebody brand new finding their voice on stage.

02:25:14.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:25:15.000 You know?

02:25:16.000 And the manager's great.

02:25:17.000 The woman that plays her manager. 0.99

02:25:18.000 There's always somebody like that that's in your corner that's helping you develop yourself.

02:25:23.000 And she's natural on stage.

02:25:26.000 I buy it.

02:25:27.000 I buy her as a stand-up on stage. 1.00

02:25:28.000 I buy her as being actually funny.

02:25:30.000 Yeah.

02:25:31.000 And it's interesting seeing Lenny Bruce.

02:25:33.000 The guy who plays Lenny Bruce is very good.

02:25:35.000 Yeah.

02:25:35.000 Who's that guy?

02:25:37.000 Who's her, too?

02:25:40.000 Her name is... 1.00

02:25:41.000 And, uh, spoiler alert, you get to see her breasts. 1.00

02:25:45.000 Fantastic, by the way.

02:25:46.000 Oh, good Lord.

02:25:47.000 Good Lord.

02:25:47.000 Thank you, Jesus.

02:25:50.000 I had to do a search.

02:25:52.000 Not...

02:25:52.000 I don't want to sound like a perv, but no, I did a search on her nude.

02:25:55.000 Let's just let it go. 0.74

02:25:56.000 I did a thing on her nude, and she's... 0.82

02:25:58.000 Rachel Brosnahan.

02:25:59.000 I'll put it up so I can see his name as well.

02:26:00.000 She won the Emmy this year.

02:26:01.000 She won the Golden Globe this year.

02:26:02.000 She won the Golden Globe for that?

02:26:02.000 Yeah.

02:26:03.000 Wow.

02:26:04.000 Yeah, Rachel Brosnahan and Michael Ziegen.

02:26:08.000 And Alex Horstein is great.

02:26:11.000 And who is playing Lenny Bruce?

02:26:16.000 Is that the guy?

02:26:17.000 Luke Kirby.

02:26:18.000 Luke Kirby.

02:26:18.000 Luke Kirby?

02:26:20.000 Outstanding.

02:26:20.000 He did a great job.

02:26:22.000 He sounded like him.

02:26:24.000 Without doing an obvious impression, it sounds like he's got the tone right, he's got the inflection right.

02:26:31.000 It's not overly stylized.

02:26:33.000 No, no, no.

02:26:34.000 You believe it.

02:26:36.000 He did a great job of seeming like a guy doing stand-up in front of a room of people, not like an actor playing a stand-up.

02:26:44.000 Well, the woman that created the show, apparently her dad was a stand-up and he knew Lenny Bruce, which is why she put him in the series.

02:26:51.000 Because he's the only historical figure in the show.

02:26:54.000 Right, right.

02:26:55.000 Yeah, well, it's also the show, they take some liberties with the history.

02:26:58.000 I don't think there was a comedy club back then.

02:27:02.000 The gas light, they called it?

02:27:04.000 I don't think that was real.

02:27:05.000 I don't think there really was a comedy club back then.

02:27:08.000 I think back then, people were just doing poetry nights, and they were doing, you know, they'd be like a musician, then a comedian.

02:27:15.000 Comedians would host things.

02:27:16.000 I don't think there was necessarily a comedy club.

02:27:20.000 I think that came later.

02:27:21.000 Yeah.

02:27:22.000 Yeah, it's like Catch a Rising Star came out of being a cabaret, and people would sing there, and then suddenly people started doing stand-up there, and the two existed together for years before it became a comedy club.

02:27:33.000 We should actually know this.

02:27:36.000 Why do we not know what was the very first comedy club?

02:27:39.000 Was it Catch?

02:27:40.000 There was the Hungry Eye in San Francisco.

02:27:43.000 Was that the first?

02:27:44.000 Might have been.

02:27:44.000 That was the 60s, though.

02:27:46.000 Was that when it started?

02:27:47.000 Yeah, that was the 60s.

02:27:48.000 Because the Ice House...

02:27:50.000 Is the oldest running comedy club in the world.

02:27:54.000 The Ice House is the oldest.

02:27:55.000 All the other old ones are gone except the Ice House.

02:27:59.000 And the Comedy and Magic Club is right on its heels.

02:28:01.000 Right.

02:28:02.000 That's probably second.

02:28:04.000 But what was the original comedy club?

02:28:05.000 Well, that place is called the Gaslight.

02:28:08.000 And I think there was a Gaslight back then.

02:28:10.000 Do you think it was a comedy club, though?

02:28:11.000 I don't think the way they did it, which was great, and again, I don't want to give too much of it away, but the way they did it where people were getting bumped, like she got bumped, I don't think that that was good.

02:28:24.000 Mm-hmm. 0.97

02:28:41.000 I mean, who the fuck knows, though? 0.99

02:28:43.000 Maybe they had a drop-in back then. 0.99

02:28:44.000 Maybe they did have nights, like several nights, where they had just comedy.

02:28:48.000 Yeah.

02:28:49.000 There's this book by Cliff Nesterov about the history of comedy.

02:28:52.000 You ever read that?

02:28:53.000 No.

02:28:54.000 What's it called?

02:28:54.000 He's great.

02:28:56.000 I don't know, but it's Cliff, N-E-S-T-E-R-O-V. And I had him on my podcast a couple times. 0.98

02:29:02.000 He's great.

02:29:03.000 But the real first comedy shows in New York were The Comedians.

02:29:09.000 Right.

02:29:09.000 Drunks, thieves, scoundrels, and the history of American comedy.

02:29:13.000 Did you find anything about the oldest or the first stand-up comedy club?

02:29:18.000 Arguably, in the United Kingdom in 1979, it was the comedy store.

02:29:22.000 And before that, they were just performing in different places. 0.98

02:29:24.000 Some English motherfucker got a hold of Wikipedia and ruined everything. 1.00

02:29:27.000 That just started in the United Kingdom. 0.99

02:29:29.000 In the United States history, it goes back into the 19th century in vaudeville places.

02:29:32.000 And so it just depends on when somebody first turned their venue.

02:29:36.000 Right, but what I'm saying is, who had the very first comedy club?

02:29:41.000 Yeah, the Hungry Eye.

02:29:43.000 San Francisco.

02:29:44.000 Yeah.

02:29:45.000 So The Hungry Eye was a 100% comedy club.

02:29:47.000 Yeah.

02:29:48.000 And then The Bitter End, which was music and comedy.

02:29:51.000 Hmm.

02:29:51.000 Interesting.

02:29:52.000 In New York.

02:29:53.000 So those are the ones.

02:29:54.000 And what year is that?

02:29:56.000 It says in the 50s into the 60s.

02:29:58.000 It doesn't have a particular year.

02:29:59.000 Wow.

02:30:01.000 Mort Saul.

02:30:03.000 I think Mort Saul's still around.

02:30:05.000 Google that.

02:30:06.000 I think he is.

02:30:07.000 I think he's still doing stand-up.

02:30:08.000 I think Dick Gregory's around.

02:30:10.000 I think Dick Gregory died.

02:30:12.000 Oh, he did?

02:30:12.000 Is that true?

02:30:13.000 Find out that first. 0.98

02:30:16.000 Because I'm a dick if I say he died and he didn't. 0.99

02:30:18.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:30:20.000 Yeah, Dick Gregory funeral.

02:30:21.000 Funeral.

02:30:22.000 Yeah.

02:30:23.000 Yeah.

02:30:24.000 He died.

02:30:25.000 But I think Lenny Bruce might have started at The Hungry Eye as well.

02:30:28.000 I think he started in San Francisco.

02:30:29.000 I think you're right.

02:30:30.000 Yeah.

02:30:32.000 Yeah, that was the Beatniks, right?

02:30:35.000 Yeah.

02:30:35.000 That led into the...

02:30:36.000 Is he still around? 1.00

02:30:38.000 Goddamn you, Mortsal. 1.00

02:30:39.000 Still rocking. 1.00

02:30:40.000 1915. 91 years old, motherfucker. 1.00

02:30:42.000 Wow. 1.00

02:30:44.000 Outlived them all.

02:30:45.000 Good for him.

02:30:46.000 Yeah, all these guys were the originators.

02:30:48.000 I mean, without them, this is the original roots of the tree of stand-up comedy.

02:30:54.000 100%, right?

02:30:55.000 Yeah.

02:30:59.000 What are you doing now, Jamie? 0.99

02:31:00.000 Just Googling shit? 0.99

02:31:00.000 I'm just leaving it up there. 0.99

02:31:02.000 It's too long.

02:31:03.000 I was just going back to look and see if I could find anything else.

02:31:05.000 It's a crazy history.

02:31:07.000 You really stop and think about the year it starts in the 60s and that before that it didn't exist like that.

02:31:15.000 Like it was kind of a thing that people did.

02:31:17.000 There was court jesters.

02:31:18.000 There was funny people.

02:31:19.000 There was comedy in various plays and musicals.

02:31:22.000 There was comedic elements.

02:31:24.000 Well, there's cabaret.

02:31:25.000 Yeah.

02:31:25.000 And there was MCs.

02:31:27.000 People would MC things. 0.98

02:31:28.000 But in terms of someone going specifically to see someone say things in a funny way, just talking in front of a microphone, that shit is really recent. 0.98

02:31:38.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:31:40.000 Imagine if we were born 100 years ago. 0.99

02:31:43.000 What the fuck would we do? 0.99

02:31:46.000 Well, we might have done vaudeville. 1.00

02:31:51.000 Hang out with all those vaudeville people.

02:31:53.000 Vaudeville people, where you go from town to town.

02:31:55.000 Your suitcase has no wheels on it. 1.00

02:31:58.000 You're lugging that shit on a train. 1.00

02:32:00.000 It's probably fun, though, if you're young. 1.00

02:32:02.000 Yeah.

02:32:03.000 If you're young, it's probably fun. 0.98

02:32:04.000 Because if you think you're a big deal when you go to a town now, go to fucking Columbus, Ohio in 1919 and perform. 0.98

02:32:13.000 You would be like a god to them. 0.98

02:32:16.000 Yeah, but you'd also be like a carny, you know?

02:32:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:32:19.000 Traveling from town to town, probably fucking real loose with your morals. 0.99

02:32:23.000 Yeah, right. 0.99

02:32:23.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:32:25.000 Spreading God knows what around the Midwest.

02:32:28.000 All kinds of STDs and IOUs.

02:32:33.000 Babies constantly.

02:32:34.000 Nobody pulled out or used a rubber in the 1910s.

02:32:38.000 Right, and they're also living a savage life.

02:32:41.000 To expect them to find a nice gal in Kansas and settle down. 1.00

02:32:44.000 That's right.

02:32:46.000 They're working the tilt-a-whirl, and they've got to prop it up with logs because the left side doesn't have a leg.

02:32:51.000 Right.

02:32:52.000 That thing spins, so you've got to keep an eye on it.

02:32:54.000 You don't want to launch anybody into the parking lot.

02:32:56.000 And if you do, you just pack up and move to the next town. 0.56

02:32:59.000 They just get the fuck out of Dodge.

02:33:00.000 There's no way to track them on the internet. 0.97

02:33:03.000 Yeah, they say, you know, a lot of those early, it was very Jewish, because Jews were having a hard time getting hired, and so that was one of the few places they could work, and that's why they say comedy was a very Jewish thing.

02:33:16.000 Oh, interesting.

02:33:18.000 Leading into the Borscht Belt and all that.

02:33:20.000 Stan and Ollie.

02:33:21.000 This movie just came out.

02:33:23.000 It's basically about this.

02:33:25.000 Lauren Hardy were vaudeville touring comedians in the 1920s. 1.00

02:33:29.000 When did this come out?

02:33:30.000 It just came out.

02:33:31.000 It's in the theaters right now. 0.99

02:33:32.000 No shit! 0.99

02:33:33.000 I haven't heard a word of it. 1.00

02:33:34.000 It's supposed to be good, yeah.

02:33:35.000 About two weeks ago.

02:33:36.000 And Stan and Ollie stand for, I forget the Laurel and Hardy, right?

02:33:39.000 Yep, yep, yep.

02:33:40.000 It's John C. Reilly and Steve Coogan.

02:33:44.000 Wow!

02:33:45.000 These guys are both amazing.

02:33:46.000 Yeah, John C. Reilly's excellent.

02:33:50.000 I don't know who Steve Coogan is.

02:33:52.000 Who's Steve Coogan?

02:33:53.000 He's a British stand-up, I think.

02:33:56.000 But that's cool.

02:33:57.000 I'm glad someone...

02:33:58.000 Okay.

02:33:59.000 Oh, I've seen that guy and stuff before.

02:34:01.000 I'm glad someone's doing that. 1.00

02:34:04.000 Charlie Chapman was supposedly a bad motherfucker. 0.99

02:34:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:34:07.000 He would go up to the Hearst Castle and fuck Hearst's wife. 1.00

02:34:13.000 In the castle. 1.00

02:34:14.000 No.

02:34:14.000 You ever go up to that castle?

02:34:15.000 Yeah, when I was a little kid. 0.96

02:34:16.000 It's fucking amazing. 0.98

02:34:18.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:34:18.000 And, yeah, Chaplin would go up. 0.99

02:34:20.000 He was fucking everybody. 1.00

02:34:21.000 Everybody's wife. 1.00

02:34:22.000 Yeah.

02:34:22.000 Jesus.

02:34:22.000 He got off on wives.

02:34:24.000 Really?

02:34:24.000 Yeah, that was his thing.

02:34:25.000 That was his thing?

02:34:26.000 Yeah.

02:34:26.000 Oh, so dangerous.

02:34:28.000 Can you imagine? 0.64

02:34:30.000 You're only happy if you're banging someone else's woman. 0.98

02:34:33.000 Wow, that's crazy.

02:34:34.000 I guess there's no commitment.

02:34:36.000 Maybe that...

02:34:37.000 And if she gets pregnant, you know, he'll claim it. 0.93

02:34:40.000 He'll claim the baby. 0.93

02:34:41.000 That's him there at the Hearst Castle.

02:34:43.000 Wow.

02:34:45.000 Whoa.

02:34:47.000 That's him with the cigarette?

02:34:48.000 Yeah.

02:34:48.000 That's so weird.

02:34:50.000 1930s.

02:34:51.000 Banging her in his 60s.

02:34:53.000 I mean, Hearst would have hundreds of guests every weekend.

02:34:55.000 He had rooms for hundreds of people, and they would have... 0.99

02:34:59.000 Hunts, they would fucking hunt during the day. 0.99

02:35:02.000 Or, you know, they'd play tennis and then everybody would meet for highballs at like 5 o'clock in one room and giant fireplaces and then they'd set dinners with fucking servants. 0.99

02:35:12.000 If you got an invite to that, you go for like three weeks. 0.98

02:35:17.000 What?

02:35:17.000 Yeah!

02:35:18.000 You come fucking look at that dining hall. 0.99

02:35:20.000 You know what that looks like? 0.99

02:35:21.000 That looks like the haunted dining hall in the Disney ride.

02:35:24.000 The haunted mansion.

02:35:25.000 I don't know.

02:35:27.000 You ever seen that?

02:35:28.000 Yeah.

02:35:28.000 Do you know what I'm talking about?

02:35:29.000 Yeah, so they got inspired from something.

02:35:30.000 I guarantee you that's what it got inspired by.

02:35:32.000 It looks so much like that.

02:35:34.000 So look at that image right now, and now Google the dining room at the Haunted Mansion Disneyland. 0.99

02:35:41.000 Because there's a scene where you fly by, and you're on the little train, and you pass by, and all the ghosts are dancing around shit. 0.97

02:35:47.000 It's pretty cool. 0.98

02:35:48.000 It looks just like that.

02:35:49.000 And then it was a zoo.

02:35:50.000 All the grounds were a zoo at Hearst Castle. 1.00

02:35:52.000 There was fucking giraffes running around, zebras. 1.00

02:35:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:35:55.000 He's like El Chapo. 1.00

02:35:57.000 He couldn't get rid of his money. 1.00

02:35:59.000 He had so much fucking money. 1.00

02:36:01.000 That's a shit image of it. 1.00

02:36:02.000 They don't have a good image of it? 0.99

02:36:04.000 Not really.

02:36:04.000 Oh.

02:36:05.000 Alright.

02:36:09.000 How's that possible?

02:36:11.000 You're not really supposed to take pictures in there, are you?

02:36:13.000 Oh, that's a good point.

02:36:14.000 Yeah.

02:36:15.000 Wow.

02:36:16.000 But everybody does.

02:36:17.000 I know, but... 1.00

02:36:18.000 People are always taking pictures of shit. 1.00

02:36:20.000 You take pictures of your kids in there... 1.00

02:36:23.000 Anyway, it looks real similar to that.

02:36:25.000 But yeah, that guy had way too much money.

02:36:28.000 He brought over wild boars. 0.97

02:36:29.000 He's the reason why California has a wild pig problem. 1.00

02:36:32.000 No shit. 1.00

02:36:33.000 Yes. 1.00

02:36:33.000 Wow. 1.00

02:36:34.000 Him. 1.00

02:36:35.000 That fuck. 1.00

02:36:36.000 Goddamn. 1.00

02:36:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:36:37.000 Wild boars.

02:36:38.000 They'd go hunt them.

02:36:39.000 Yeah.

02:36:40.000 He brought them here.

02:36:43.000 It's not down here.

02:36:45.000 See, it's not in Southern California.

02:36:46.000 They're all up there.

02:36:48.000 They're slowly making their way down here.

02:36:50.000 But the ones that are down here, the closest they are is Tohono Ranch.

02:36:54.000 Tohono Ranch is about an hour and a half from here, and they have wild pigs.

02:36:59.000 Is it that hard to just get a bunch of guys with AK-47s and hunt them down?

02:37:03.000 It's not that hard, but you can't do that in California.

02:37:06.000 California, you can get depredation permits, and they have gotten depredation permits, and they hunt them at night with night vision.

02:37:12.000 Because sometimes the pigs will start making their way into agriculture, or they'll lay down some fresh sod and put some grass down, and these pigs will destroy thousands of dollars in landscaping damage.

02:37:25.000 So when they prove that that's happening, then they get a special permit, and then they can just start whacking.

02:37:31.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:37:32.000 And then they just take out, like, everything at night and they do it with, you know, sniper rifles and shit. 0.98

02:37:37.000 But then when a normal person wants to, like, say if you wanted to kill a wild pig. 0.99

02:37:43.000 I do.

02:37:44.000 You can get as many licenses as you'd like.

02:37:46.000 You can get five licenses.

02:37:48.000 You can get six. 0.99

02:37:48.000 You can go out and shoot six pigs in a day. 0.99

02:37:51.000 It's totally legal. 0.98

02:37:52.000 As long as you pay for each individual tag.

02:37:54.000 Because the...

02:37:56.000 The understanding is that, at least in most places, California's the only place that treats it like game.

02:38:00.000 In most places, you don't even have to have tags for them. 0.97

02:38:03.000 In most places, they're encouraging you to shoot them.

02:38:05.000 And that'll probably be the case in California eventually. 0.84

02:38:08.000 Like Texas, for instance. 0.99

02:38:11.000 Texas has a real pig problem. 1.00

02:38:13.000 They have a giant problem. 1.00

02:38:14.000 No shit! 1.00

02:38:15.000 There's millions and millions and millions of pigs. 1.00

02:38:17.000 Oh, I remember that from the Friday Night Late Show at the Improv in Houston.

02:38:21.000 That's not what we're talking about!

02:38:25.000 You said that with, you really had me believing that you didn't believe it.

02:38:28.000 And you're setting up the joke the whole time.

02:38:30.000 It's nice.

02:38:31.000 I think it's like that with alligators in Florida, too.

02:38:33.000 Yeah.

02:38:34.000 When I was a kid, they were an endangered species.

02:38:36.000 They would ask us to please not feed them marshmallows.

02:38:39.000 Because I lived in Gainesville, right by this place called Lake Alice.

02:38:42.000 Yeah.

02:38:43.000 Lake Alice had alligators. 0.99

02:38:44.000 I was fucking 11 years old. 0.99

02:38:46.000 I was looking at alligators. 0.99

02:38:47.000 This is crazy. 1.00

02:38:48.000 This is a goddamn dinosaur. 0.99

02:38:50.000 But there was a small population of them because they had been whacked into oblivion before and people were making suitcases out of them. 0.99

02:38:56.000 And then they made it illegal to hunt them and they made them a protected species. 0.99

02:39:00.000 But then they fucked up. 0.99

02:39:01.000 They overprotected. 1.00

02:39:03.000 And those goddamn super lizards are everywhere now. 1.00

02:39:05.000 They're fucking everywhere. 1.00

02:39:07.000 My mom belongs to a golf course down in Florida where she lives. 0.99

02:39:11.000 And there's this alligator. 0.99

02:39:13.000 It's apparently like this fucking 14-foot alligator. 0.99

02:39:16.000 And the people were playing golf and there was a deer. 0.99

02:39:19.000 And everybody's standing there going like, it's a deer.

02:39:21.000 It's a deer.

02:39:22.000 Look at that beautiful deer. 0.99

02:39:24.000 Fucking alligator comes out, grabs it, pulls it into the water, does that spin move. 1.00

02:39:30.000 Takes it to the bottom, fucking done. 1.00

02:39:33.000 So, everyone's talking about it. 0.99

02:39:35.000 What do we do about it?

02:39:36.000 So, about three weeks later, my mom is out on the course, and her ball is right next to the lake where the alligator is.

02:39:44.000 And she forgets. 0.61

02:39:45.000 And she goes over, and her ball is right on the edge, and she's standing there, and she was standing on some fucking, like, dead, some dead grass, and it gave out. 1.00

02:39:55.000 And she fell in the fucking lake. 1.00

02:39:59.000 Oh! 1.00

02:39:59.000 Up to her neck. 1.00

02:40:00.000 And then she remembered. 0.99

02:40:02.000 And she fucking started scrambling up the mud and grabbing at the reeds to get out of there. 1.00

02:40:09.000 And the people that she was with had left. 0.99

02:40:12.000 She was playing by herself for some reason. 0.98

02:40:15.000 And she fucking got out of there and got in the cart and then she just started laughing. 1.00

02:40:19.000 Oh my god. 1.00

02:40:21.000 You believe that shit? 1.00

02:40:23.000 My little mother. 1.00

02:40:24.000 My little five foot two mother.

02:40:26.000 Oh my god.

02:40:28.000 Would have been a tasty meal.

02:40:30.000 It would happen so quick.

02:40:32.000 Yeah.

02:40:33.000 Better than a deer.

02:40:34.000 Old lady. 0.99

02:40:35.000 Nice soft old lady. 1.00

02:40:36.000 Way, way more tender.

02:40:37.000 Yeah.

02:40:39.000 Corn fed.

02:40:40.000 Ooh.

02:40:41.000 My mom's corn fed. 1.00

02:40:42.000 I never told you that?

02:40:43.000 No.

02:40:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:40:44.000 I thought she was organic. 0.98

02:40:45.000 No, no.

02:40:46.000 We let her free range sometimes.

02:40:49.000 There's a great story about a car chase.

02:40:51.000 Cops were chasing this dude with a stolen car, and the guy jumps off a bridge into the water and immediately gets eaten by alligators.

02:40:59.000 Wow.

02:41:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:41:00.000 He's like a little overpass over a river, just hops out of the fucking car, jumps into the river, and smash! 1.00

02:41:07.000 He lands right in front of an alligator. 1.00

02:41:10.000 No shit! 1.00

02:41:11.000 The alligator jacks him in front of the cops. 1.00

02:41:16.000 What do you do?

02:41:16.000 If you're a cop, do you shoot at the alligator?

02:41:19.000 Do you try to kill the alligator while it's killing the guy?

02:41:20.000 Good point.

02:41:21.000 I mean, that's a reckless thing to be doing.

02:41:23.000 When there's a lot of thrashing around, you're just going to empty your clip.

02:41:26.000 Pow, pow, pow.

02:41:28.000 You know, I mean, how much distance is there between the bridge and the water?

02:41:31.000 Right.

02:41:31.000 What can the cop do?

02:41:32.000 Well, you know the guy's going to die, so I think it's a safe bet to take some shots anyway.

02:41:37.000 I think it's a not safe bet to take some shots, because if you're a cop, what if you hit the guy? 0.93

02:41:41.000 And they said, oh, you shot him. 1.00

02:41:43.000 You're trying to cover up by letting the fucking alligators eat him. 1.00

02:41:47.000 That's true. 1.00

02:41:48.000 You gotta let the alligator eat him.

02:41:49.000 Yeah.

02:41:49.000 Gotta save your job.

02:41:51.000 Do you hear about the guy?

02:41:52.000 There was a guy flying a plane from Florida to Cuba.

02:41:55.000 Or Cuba to Florida. 0.99

02:41:57.000 And the plane fucking went down. 1.00

02:42:00.000 Oof. 1.00

02:42:01.000 And he survived the crash and then got eaten by sharks.

02:42:06.000 Really?

02:42:09.000 Why is that funny? 1.00

02:42:11.000 That's so fucked up. 0.99

02:42:12.000 Just because that 20 minute period where you're floating in the water but you're thankful and you're almost giddy. 1.00

02:42:18.000 I did it. 0.97

02:42:19.000 I fucking survived. 0.98

02:42:20.000 Oh my god. 0.98

02:42:21.000 Yeah.

02:42:22.000 Bad day.

02:42:23.000 Well, you know that story about the World War II boat that sank, and the guys were floating around at sea for several days, and most of them got eaten by sharks?

02:42:29.000 Oof.

02:42:30.000 That's the story that they talk about in the beginning of Jaws?

02:42:33.000 Yeah.

02:42:34.000 Remember where the captain? 0.98

02:42:36.000 The captain's with the fucking scars, and he starts talking about his time on the boat? 0.98

02:42:41.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:42:41.000 Do you remember that scene? 0.99

02:42:42.000 Roy Scheider?

02:42:43.000 No, not Roy Scheider.

02:42:44.000 The guy was talking to Roy Scheider.

02:42:45.000 Okay.

02:42:46.000 Who's that guy?

02:42:47.000 What's that guy's name again?

02:42:48.000 Old-time actor. 0.98

02:42:49.000 The guy was fucking amazing. 1.00

02:42:50.000 Shit. 1.00

02:42:52.000 Just pull up Jaws. 1.00

02:42:53.000 I know you said it too quick.

02:42:54.000 Richard Dreyfuss.

02:42:54.000 No, no, no, no.

02:42:55.000 No, no, no.

02:42:56.000 Richard Dreyfuss was a scientist.

02:42:58.000 Roy Scheider was the sheriff.

02:42:59.000 Richard Dreyfuss was the scientist.

02:43:01.000 And then there's an older gentleman.

02:43:03.000 Robert Shaw.

02:43:04.000 Oh, yeah, right. 1.00

02:43:06.000 He steals that fucking movie. 1.00

02:43:08.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:43:08.000 He steals that movie. 1.00

02:43:10.000 Where is he?

02:43:10.000 Right here.

02:43:11.000 Yeah, he steals that fucking movie. 1.00

02:43:13.000 He steals that fucking movie. 1.00

02:43:15.000 You believe him. 1.00

02:43:17.000 Wait, so what was the opening scene?

02:43:19.000 Not the opening scene, but he describes what it was like.

02:43:23.000 No, that's a different shark attack.

02:43:25.000 I typed in World War II shark attack.

02:43:26.000 Oh, the naval ship.

02:43:27.000 Yeah, that's it.

02:43:28.000 That's it.

02:43:28.000 I'm sorry.

02:43:28.000 I was thinking when it said the worst shark attack in history, I was thinking it was that story about New Jersey where the bull sharks killed people.

02:43:36.000 Scroll back up so I can see what it says there.

02:43:39.000 1945, U.S. naval ship was sunk by a Japanese submarine.

02:43:42.000 The ship's sinking was just the beginning of the sailor's nightmare.

02:43:45.000 Yeah, that's the boat.

02:43:46.000 That's the story.

02:43:47.000 How many people died? 0.96

02:43:48.000 A shitload.

02:43:50.000 Let's see. 0.80

02:43:52.000 Almost 300 people died. 1.00

02:43:54.000 Damn! 0.99

02:43:55.000 Yeah, of the 1,196 men aboard, 900 made it into the water alive. 0.99

02:44:01.000 Their ordeal.

02:44:03.000 So that's how many survived the crash.

02:44:07.000 So there's 900 of them that are alive.

02:44:09.000 Now how many of them make it to the end?

02:44:13.000 Out of 900, scroll it, scroll it, scroll it, scroll it.

02:44:17.000 Days past.

02:44:18.000 Yeah, they're just giving you the full line of the story.

02:44:20.000 They're not giving you just the actual facts.

02:44:23.000 317. 317 remained.

02:44:26.000 So almost 600 people got eaten.

02:44:31.000 Estimates of the number who died from shark attacks range from a few dozen to almost 150. So the other people die from other things?

02:44:38.000 Starvation probably.

02:44:39.000 Heat, stroke, being in the water.

02:44:42.000 And so I bet when those guys died, then the sharks ate them and it got even worse. 1.00

02:44:46.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

02:44:48.000 Whoa. 1.00

02:44:49.000 That's fucking crazy. 1.00

02:44:50.000 Just imagine 150 people eaten by sharks. 1.00

02:44:53.000 The amount of blood in the water? 1.00

02:44:55.000 Fucking Christ. 0.99

02:44:59.000 But when you're around any kind of thing that can eat you and kill you, it puts it all into perspective that you're not around that enough. 0.99

02:45:09.000 It's not like you should be around it all the time, but you should know it's a real thing.

02:45:13.000 And when you're around it, you go like, oh, sharks will just eat you.

02:45:18.000 Oh, a bear will just eat you. 1.00

02:45:20.000 Oh, that mountain lion will just eat you. 1.00

02:45:23.000 Oh! 0.60

02:45:24.000 Like these people that got killed this year, or 2018 at least, was very rare.

02:45:28.000 And that two people were documented killed by mountain lions in the Pacific Northwest.

02:45:32.000 One guy in Portland, outside of Portland, and one guy outside of Seattle.

02:45:35.000 It's pretty rare that mountain lions do that.

02:45:38.000 But, oh, mountain lions will just eat you. 1.00

02:45:41.000 Oh, that can happen too.

02:45:43.000 We think we're so safe.

02:45:45.000 And I think you're right.

02:45:47.000 It would keep you in the moment.

02:45:48.000 I think we should release Grizzly in cities. 0.99

02:45:52.000 Just because you might be worried about, oh, the fucking stock market's down, or I think my wife's cheating. 1.00

02:45:58.000 Bear! 1.00

02:45:59.000 And you're right back in the moment again.

02:46:01.000 Yeah, you're in the moment.

02:46:02.000 But then you're going to have to allow people to be armed to protect themselves.

02:46:04.000 Guy's going to have open carry. 0.99

02:46:06.000 Fucking ARs slung around their shoulders looking out for bears everywhere. 0.99

02:46:09.000 You're taking your kid to school, you better bring the rifle. 1.00

02:46:12.000 She's only two blocks away.

02:46:14.000 Bro, bring the rifle.

02:46:15.000 I saw a bear here a couple of days ago.

02:46:17.000 Can you imagine you walk outside your house and you hear a branch snap and you turn and you see a 900-pound wild dog-like thing?

02:46:26.000 And that's not one shot.

02:46:27.000 That's got to be a pretty good gun to take that thing down. 0.69

02:46:29.000 You're not going to take it out with like a 9mm. 0.99

02:46:32.000 No. 0.98

02:46:32.000 It's just going to eat your bullets. 0.98

02:46:34.000 Right. 1.00

02:46:34.000 It's going to kill you anyway. 1.00

02:46:36.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:46:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:46:38.000 You'd have to have a perfect shot right in the perfect part of its brain to shut it off quick to prevent you from getting mauled.

02:46:47.000 The amount of strength that they have, too.

02:46:48.000 You'd be like a water balloon.

02:46:50.000 You'd be like tearing open a bag, like a Ziploc bag full of jello.

02:46:54.000 Yeah.

02:46:55.000 They'd just rip you apart. 1.00

02:46:56.000 Yeah, going back to that movie Revenant, that fucking bear attack was insane. 0.99

02:47:01.000 That bear attack is nothing compared to what really happens. 0.99

02:47:04.000 Yeah.

02:47:04.000 If he really got bit by that bear like that, he'd probably be destroyed.

02:47:09.000 I think the guy where it really happened to him in real life, it's kind of based really loosely on a story, I think he got kind of like a little mauled.

02:47:18.000 And that was enough.

02:47:20.000 A little mauled would leave you like that.

02:47:22.000 That bear was throwing him around for like minutes.

02:47:24.000 Yeah, yeah. 0.68

02:47:24.000 That bear would have killed you. 0.68

02:47:26.000 Yeah. 0.92

02:47:26.000 You'd have no bones left. 0.92

02:47:28.000 It would have snapped everything into a fine powder. 0.99

02:47:31.000 Just crush you. 0.96

02:47:32.000 And then eat you, right? 1.00

02:47:33.000 Oh, fuck yeah. 1.00

02:47:34.000 Why not eat you? 1.00

02:47:35.000 Especially once you start stinking. 0.98

02:47:36.000 They like to bury things.

02:47:37.000 Let them rot for a while.

02:47:39.000 Uh-huh. 0.82

02:47:40.000 They do.

02:47:41.000 My friend Adam, he shot a moose in Canada, and bears claimed it.

02:47:46.000 And he went back and there's a video of it.

02:47:48.000 It's so spooky.

02:47:49.000 The moose is buried.

02:47:51.000 It's a giant, big-ass moose.

02:47:54.000 By the time they shoot it, and then it runs away, and then you have to track it. 0.99

02:47:58.000 You have to let it die. 0.71

02:47:59.000 It takes a little while.

02:48:00.000 So the smart thing to do is to sit out for a couple hours.

02:48:04.000 It'll be dead for sure, but what you don't want to do is spook it while it's injured if it's not a perfect hit, if it runs away, because then it's going to just keep running.

02:48:14.000 You can run for a long time on adrenaline.

02:48:16.000 So the correct move is if you don't see an animal die, you see it run into the woods, you wait.

02:48:23.000 And you wait just as a precautionary matter.

02:48:25.000 Well, the animal died in seconds, and a bear claimed it immediately.

02:48:29.000 It died probably right in front of him.

02:48:31.000 What state was this?

02:48:32.000 This was in Alaska.

02:48:34.000 So the bear is just there.

02:48:36.000 The moose dies right in front of him.

02:48:37.000 He's like, oh, look at that.

02:48:38.000 That's mine.

02:48:40.000 He starts eating it, and then he starts covering it up.

02:48:43.000 So he eats some of it, covers it up.

02:48:44.000 They come tracking it an hour later or so, and it's already covered in dirt.

02:48:49.000 Wow.

02:48:50.000 I'm like, oh, no.

02:48:51.000 That's crazy!

02:48:53.000 Oh, no.

02:48:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:48:55.000 Holy shit. 1.00

02:48:56.000 Yeah, fuck. 1.00

02:48:57.000 Now, I don't know... 1.00

02:48:59.000 Think about what it would take to take fucking frozen ground. 0.99

02:49:01.000 I'm going to correct myself. 0.99

02:49:02.000 They might have shot it and taken some of the meat and were going back to pack it out.

02:49:07.000 Because sometimes when you hunt, you'll hunt with one person.

02:49:09.000 But when you go back to pack out a big animal, you bring like five or six guys to help you.

02:49:14.000 Yeah.

02:49:14.000 But this is the video of it.

02:49:15.000 Look at this.

02:49:16.000 Give me some volume.

02:49:18.000 The whole moose is buried.

02:49:20.000 Is that your moose under there?

02:49:21.000 Yeah, that's my moose under there.

02:49:22.000 Buried.

02:49:23.000 Yeah.

02:49:29.000 Yeah, I don't like this.

02:49:36.000 So everything is like, you know, five and a half feet high grass or, you know, you see, I mean, how tall is that grass?

02:49:43.000 Four and a half feet at least?

02:49:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:49:45.000 So bears could be in that shit. 1.00

02:49:46.000 They could be hunkered down in that shit. 1.00

02:49:48.000 So I'm seeing the skull on the ground and the skull skinned out. 1.00

02:49:52.000 So what that means to me is that he had already started butchering the moose and probably went back to it.

02:49:58.000 So that's, I was kind of correct that, whether or not I was right about that or not.

02:50:03.000 But so this is what happened.

02:50:04.000 They could only take some of the meat because they were terrified the bear was going to come back.

02:50:08.000 And I don't even think they had a gun on them.

02:50:10.000 And, you know, they're just scanning the area.

02:50:12.000 See how the moots, the head is already off of the antlers? 0.82

02:50:17.000 Yeah.

02:50:18.000 Yeah.

02:50:18.000 And so this is the next video.

02:50:22.000 That's scary shit, man. 0.99

02:50:23.000 So they didn't even see the bear. 1.00

02:50:24.000 They just know it was a bear.

02:50:25.000 Exactly.

02:50:26.000 Yeah.

02:50:27.000 Wow.

02:50:28.000 Think about the strength to take frozen earth like that and dig it out.

02:50:33.000 Yeah.

02:50:34.000 What's the type of bear?

02:50:35.000 You know, if you run into a black bear, you're more likely to be thought of as food.

02:50:40.000 It's kind of interesting.

02:50:42.000 Predation on humans is more common with black bears.

02:50:46.000 They just decide to try to eat you.

02:50:48.000 But with grizzlies...

02:50:52.000 It's rarer that a grizzly decides to chase you down and eat you. 0.99

02:50:56.000 It's more common that you fuck up and run into a female. 1.00

02:51:00.000 Or you try to steal his food like that. 1.00

02:51:02.000 They had to get the fuck out of there. 0.95

02:51:03.000 Because if he just decided to run at them, they got a real giant problem. 0.96

02:51:07.000 Most of the time a bear won't.

02:51:08.000 They're cautious.

02:51:09.000 They'll hang back.

02:51:10.000 Because they figure, what are you going to do?

02:51:11.000 Are you going to eat that whole moose?

02:51:12.000 You're going to leave me some.

02:51:13.000 I ate a bunch. 1.00

02:51:14.000 I'm going to wait a little while and see what the fuck you're doing. 1.00

02:51:16.000 He's probably full anyway. 0.99

02:51:17.000 But they had to get out of there.

02:51:19.000 We're good to go.

02:51:43.000 It's weird.

02:51:43.000 Yeah, I was in Alaska once and they were like raccoons.

02:51:47.000 They were behind restaurants going through dumpsters.

02:51:50.000 Grizzlies or brown bears or black bears?

02:51:53.000 I think they were, I don't know.

02:51:55.000 They have both.

02:51:55.000 They have both up there.

02:51:56.000 Black bears become more, well, they all become a problem if they start getting around garbage because then they're smart.

02:52:01.000 They know where the garbage is. 0.91

02:52:02.000 Yeah.

02:52:02.000 They just keep returning.

02:52:04.000 Right.

02:52:04.000 There's a place called Levesque.

02:52:06.000 Levesque, California.

02:52:07.000 It's off the Five.

02:52:08.000 And it's named that way for the last guy to die in a bear attack in California.

02:52:12.000 Oh, really?

02:52:12.000 Yeah.

02:52:13.000 Huh.

02:52:13.000 They're like, enough!

02:52:15.000 E-fucking-nuff! 1.00

02:52:16.000 Apparently they wind up digging this guy up afterwards to find out if the story's true and he was just in pieces. 0.98

02:52:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:52:23.000 Shit. 1.00

02:52:25.000 Big coastal bear, too. 1.00

02:52:27.000 Bear attack, shark attack, or dying in a cryogenics tank.

02:52:33.000 Dying the cryo would be way less painful.

02:52:35.000 You would just freeze. 0.69

02:52:37.000 That's the way to go.

02:52:38.000 I don't know if that's the way to go, though.

02:52:39.000 Because then you're not going to get eaten.

02:52:41.000 Like, shouldn't you return to nature?

02:52:43.000 Yeah. 0.91

02:52:44.000 I mean, you really should be eaten. 0.98

02:52:46.000 And I would rather be eaten by one of my kind, which is a ground animal. 1.00

02:52:49.000 Those fucking cunts in the water. 1.00

02:52:51.000 Not getting eaten by those heartless assholes who don't even take care of their babies. 1.00

02:52:54.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:52:55.000 You know, a bear at least takes care of their young. 1.00

02:52:57.000 I mean, they're shitheads. 1.00

02:52:59.000 They eat their babies, too. 1.00

02:53:00.000 And especially males. 0.97

02:53:01.000 Males kill babies left and right. 1.00

02:53:03.000 They actually actively go after them and kill them. 0.99

02:53:05.000 But so do sharks.

02:53:07.000 Sharks have inter-womb competition.

02:53:09.000 They eat each other inside the womb. 1.00

02:53:11.000 Oh, no shit! 1.00

02:53:13.000 Wow! 1.00

02:53:14.000 You ever see, like, an MRI of sharks in the womb?

02:53:17.000 No.

02:53:19.000 It's a monster movie.

02:53:20.000 That's insane!

02:53:21.000 Is that real?

02:53:24.000 Those images?

02:53:24.000 That's a good question.

02:53:25.000 I've seen those images.

02:53:26.000 I just thought about that and I feel like it might have been from a movie, but I'm looking right now.

02:53:29.000 Let's see.

02:53:30.000 I think it's real.

02:53:31.000 I think the reason why I thought it was fake and then I found out it was real, it's one of those.

02:53:34.000 Either I thought it was real and I found out it was fake, or I thought it was fake and I found out it's real.

02:53:38.000 But the image is, if it's real, it's fucking amazing. 0.99

02:53:41.000 It's these little monsters inside a womb. 1.00

02:53:44.000 And then you've got to think... 1.00

02:53:45.000 You know, I guess nobody had to fuck it because they just lay the eggs out and the men just jizz on the eggs. 1.00

02:53:50.000 Really? 1.00

02:53:51.000 Yeah, that's how it works. 1.00

02:53:52.000 They don't fuck. 1.00

02:53:53.000 They have a terrible life. 1.00

02:53:54.000 Wow.

02:53:55.000 Yeah.

02:53:55.000 The women lay the eggs on the floor like salmon.

02:53:58.000 That's what happens.

02:53:58.000 That happens with trout.

02:54:00.000 They lay the eggs out and the men come by and shoot loads all over them.

02:54:03.000 Yeah.

02:54:04.000 And then the things pop up and no one takes care of anybody.

02:54:08.000 All those kids, they just grow up without parents. 0.98

02:54:10.000 Parents don't give a fuck about them. 1.00

02:54:12.000 The parents will eat them. 1.00

02:54:13.000 Yep.

02:54:13.000 Happens all the time with little fish.

02:54:15.000 Yeah.

02:54:16.000 Bigger fish is hungry.

02:54:17.000 They just eat that.

02:54:17.000 They don't even know if it's theirs.

02:54:18.000 I'm eating it.

02:54:19.000 I'm hungry.

02:54:20.000 They have a system of maintaining a population.

02:54:24.000 And when there's not enough food, some of you guys got to go.

02:54:27.000 I don't remember this in Finding Nemo.

02:54:29.000 It wasn't in there. 0.99

02:54:30.000 They fucking left it out. 1.00

02:54:31.000 They didn't even eat. 1.00

02:54:32.000 Yeah.

02:54:33.000 All those bear movies, the movies about bears from Disney, they don't eat.

02:54:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:54:37.000 How come they're not chasing down mooses and eating an asshole first? 0.99

02:54:40.000 Right, right, right. 1.00

02:54:42.000 Tearing Bambi apart, eating her face while her back legs are kicking, and the bears just holding them down, eating them like a grape. 1.00

02:54:49.000 Eating that ass! 1.00

02:54:50.000 They do that. 1.00

02:54:51.000 They go asshole first all the time. 1.00

02:54:52.000 Right, right. 1.00

02:54:53.000 Yeah.

02:54:54.000 It's very inconvenient to show that in The Lion King, to show how the lion...

02:54:59.000 How do these lions...

02:55:00.000 Where's their food?

02:55:01.000 They never eat.

02:55:02.000 Everything's a battle.

02:55:03.000 They're all going to war with people, trying to retain their kingdom.

02:55:06.000 Right.

02:55:07.000 Where's the snack?

02:55:08.000 Where's all the food?

02:55:09.000 Yeah.

02:55:10.000 How come I don't see that? 1.00

02:55:12.000 You're fucking with kids. 1.00

02:55:13.000 You're giving kids bad information. 1.00

02:55:15.000 That would be a great movie.

02:55:16.000 Do a feature-length animated movie where you show how it really works.

02:55:20.000 Oh my god.

02:55:21.000 It'd be awful.

02:55:22.000 Yeah.

02:55:23.000 It'd be awful.

02:55:25.000 Yeah.

02:55:25.000 Cats.

02:55:26.000 Cats are the population control of the world. 1.00

02:55:29.000 Those motherfuckers, faster than everybody, can only eat meat. 1.00

02:55:35.000 And all they do is just run around and try to catch people slipping. 1.00

02:55:39.000 Try to catch animals slipping.

02:55:41.000 Try to catch animals.

02:55:42.000 They're just Darwinism.

02:55:44.000 They only ate bugs in Lion King.

02:55:45.000 Come on.

02:55:47.000 Come on.

02:55:48.000 That's a bug that he just ate?

02:55:49.000 Yeah, it was like he met Timon and Pumbaa and he showed them how to get grubs or something like that. 1.00

02:55:54.000 What in the fuck kind of propaganda horse shit is this? 1.00

02:55:58.000 That guy, that's anti-American. 1.00

02:56:00.000 But the way his dad dies is in a stampede of wildebeest, which he probably was attacking.

02:56:04.000 I just don't remember them showing that in that movie at all.

02:56:07.000 That's how they really...

02:56:08.000 Yeah.

02:56:08.000 See, the problem is kids grow up and they see this stuff and the soft-headed amongst them will then think that animals are really like that.

02:56:16.000 So they'll venture out into the forest to try to make friends.

02:56:19.000 You just have to be open spiritually.

02:56:21.000 Yeah.

02:56:22.000 Just go to the lion's den.

02:56:24.000 Yeah.

02:56:24.000 Open yourself up spiritually and let the forest know...

02:56:28.000 I talked to a lady once. 0.98

02:56:29.000 She was a yoga lady. 0.99

02:56:30.000 And she was talking about Colorado.

02:56:32.000 And she's like, when I walk into the woods, I just walk out there and say, I'm walking out here with love.

02:56:37.000 Please do not harm me.

02:56:39.000 Like, yeah, that's not going to work.

02:56:41.000 Plus, you're having your period.

02:56:42.000 Get back in the car.

02:56:43.000 Well, not only that.

02:56:45.000 It's not a morality thing.

02:56:47.000 It's not a good or bad thing.

02:56:48.000 It's like something's going to get eaten.

02:56:50.000 If you're out there and you're the slow thing, you're going to get eaten.

02:56:54.000 No offense.

02:56:55.000 It's not...

02:56:56.000 No one's mad at you.

02:56:58.000 No.

02:56:58.000 It's just Darwinism.

02:56:59.000 You're the weak calf.

02:57:00.000 This is not a discerning organism that's got moral value that it places on attacking thugs only or not going after yoga instructors. 1.00

02:57:13.000 No, it's slow shit that I can eat. 1.00

02:57:15.000 They have no language. 1.00

02:57:17.000 They're just an organism looking to survive.

02:57:19.000 Complex set of reinforcements and reward systems that are set up for it to be an incredibly efficient predator.

02:57:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:57:29.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:57:30.000 Just when you see male lions the size of that fucking head. 1.00

02:57:34.000 Oh, dude. 1.00

02:57:35.000 Just the biggest jaws.

02:57:37.000 Dude.

02:57:37.000 Powerful.

02:57:39.000 Yeah.

02:57:39.000 So the shark thing, I found articles saying what you were saying could not find a video, and I do believe when we found that before it was fake, and I'm trying to find Google even like fake, and it's not popping up.

02:57:50.000 The shark's in the body?

02:57:51.000 Just Google MRI image.

02:57:53.000 I found something that kind of contradicts it, though.

02:57:55.000 This is a dead shark that they performed a C-section on, and there was 98 live pups inside of it.

02:58:03.000 Yeah, that's true, but that doesn't mean that it happens every time.

02:58:06.000 Oh, I know, I know, I know.

02:58:06.000 I think what I had read was that it happens often.

02:58:10.000 This is the only thing I can find of a shark pregnancy.

02:58:13.000 That is crazy.

02:58:14.000 Look at all those sharks in there, man.

02:58:16.000 That is nuts.

02:58:17.000 And so he's just throwing them in the water.

02:58:18.000 He's pulling them out and saving them.

02:58:20.000 That is nuts, man.

02:58:21.000 Look at all those little monsters just swarming around.

02:58:24.000 Do you know that... 1.00

02:58:25.000 Fuck, that's crazy. 1.00

02:58:26.000 Do you know that millions, literally millions of sharks are hunted and killed every year? 1.00

02:58:31.000 That's crazy.

02:58:32.000 All for the soup?

02:58:33.000 Mostly, yeah.

02:58:35.000 You know, that's changed people's attitudes on shark fishing.

02:58:38.000 Because people used to catch shark and used to get it at restaurants all the time.

02:58:42.000 You remember on the East Coast, you'd get Mako shark? 0.99

02:58:44.000 You thought you were a fucking player? 0.99

02:58:46.000 Yeah, right. 1.00

02:58:46.000 I'm a pimp. 1.00

02:58:46.000 I'm getting some shark. 1.00

02:58:47.000 Right.

02:58:48.000 A little lemon, some butter.

02:58:49.000 Yeah.

02:58:50.000 Right?

02:58:50.000 It was a common thing.

02:58:51.000 They would serve in restaurants.

02:58:52.000 How many sharks are finned?

02:58:54.000 Research indicates that about 100 million sharks are killed each year.

02:59:00.000 Wow.

02:59:00.000 Roughly 11,000 sharks an hour.

02:59:03.000 That is incredible. 1.00

02:59:04.000 Damn! 0.99

02:59:05.000 This is by finning. 1.00

02:59:06.000 That's incredible.

02:59:09.000 It's likely that many sharks are caught without being reported.

02:59:12.000 Oh, so the...

02:59:13.000 Okay.

02:59:14.000 So this is just what they're reporting.

02:59:16.000 My God.

02:59:19.000 That's sick.

02:59:20.000 This is like the first time I can remember in history that people are concerned with people fishing for sharks.

02:59:26.000 Because we talked about this.

02:59:28.000 Was it the governor of New York?

02:59:29.000 Who was it?

02:59:30.000 Who was the cat that got in trouble for legally catching a shark and cooking it and eating it?

02:59:35.000 I want to say it was the governor of New York.

02:59:38.000 Cuomo?

02:59:39.000 I don't know.

02:59:41.000 Maybe the governor's son? 1.00

02:59:42.000 Whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

02:59:44.000 Jamie will find it. 1.00

02:59:45.000 Andrew Cuomo tweeted a picture of himself after he caught a shark or something like that.

02:59:49.000 Yeah, so this was all normal. 1.00

02:59:51.000 When we were kids, this was normal as fuck. 0.99

02:59:52.000 That might as well be a marlin or a halibut. 1.00

02:59:55.000 It's just you got a shark.

02:59:56.000 Oh, cool.

02:59:57.000 What's it taste like?

02:59:58.000 Oh, it's good.

02:59:59.000 It's good.

02:59:59.000 You cook it with lemon, like swordfish.

03:00:01.000 Yeah, I remember eating shark.

03:00:03.000 It's a little tough.

03:00:04.000 I ate in Florida.

03:00:04.000 154 pound thresher shark.

03:00:06.000 So that's, you know, mako is particularly delicious.

03:00:10.000 It really does taste a lot like swordfish.

03:00:12.000 But in our lifetime, it's now become taboo because people have this rough idea of what a shark is and that sharks are being targeted and sharks are being murdered and there's a small amount of sharks left.

03:00:24.000 I don't know if that's accurate.

03:00:26.000 Because I think this is just in one part of the world, they're killing off all these sharks.

03:00:30.000 It's like if you say that there's no more grizzly bears left.

03:00:34.000 Well, if you're talking about California, you're right.

03:00:36.000 But if you're talking about British Columbia, you're wrong. 0.96

03:00:40.000 There's a fuckload of them up there. 0.91

03:00:42.000 And they're scary. 0.98

03:00:44.000 They're big.

03:00:45.000 They're big and they're fast and they need to eat every day.

03:00:49.000 And they eat berries.

03:00:50.000 If they find berries, they'll eat some berries. 1.00

03:00:52.000 Or they eat your asshole, too. 1.00

03:00:57.000 I'd present. 1.00

03:00:58.000 Would you say, this is it?

03:01:00.000 This is happening?

03:01:01.000 This is it.

03:01:01.000 Let's do it right.

03:01:02.000 I was in Alaska once, and I was in, I forget what town, but there was an island called Bear Island.

03:01:10.000 Oh, God.

03:01:10.000 And I rented, this guy had a 1948, I think it was called a...

03:01:15.000 A Stenson?

03:01:17.000 Some kind of plane.

03:01:19.000 Prop plane. 1.00

03:01:20.000 And I paid him a hundred bucks to take me over Bear Island in this fucking shitty little plane. 0.99

03:01:25.000 And we went out there, and it took him like 30 minutes to get the plane started. 1.00

03:01:30.000 And I was like, I should get the fuck out of here.

03:01:32.000 And so we go up, and the thing is getting tossed around by wind. 0.99

03:01:39.000 And we go out, and we go over Bear Island, and he's showing me fucking Bear Island.

03:01:45.000 It was like the highest concentration of bear anywhere in Alaska. 0.97

03:01:50.000 Jesus Christ.

03:01:52.000 Those bears are giant too, man.

03:01:54.000 Yeah.

03:01:55.000 The coastal bears, they're all eating seafood.

03:01:57.000 They're eating like fish and salmon and they just get enormous.

03:02:01.000 Yeah.

03:02:01.000 They're so big.

03:02:03.000 They're so much bigger than bears that are inland.

03:02:05.000 Like hundreds of pounds bigger.

03:02:06.000 What do the inland bears eat? 0.99

03:02:08.000 Whatever the fuck they get a hold of. 0.99

03:02:10.000 They'll eat salmon if they find salmon. 1.00

03:02:11.000 If there's a salmon river, they'll eat fish.

03:02:13.000 They'll eat berries.

03:02:15.000 They'll eat calves. 1.00

03:02:17.000 They eat a lot of calves.

03:02:18.000 They eat a lot of calves of elk and moose and deer, fawns.

03:02:23.000 They eat small things that can't get away.

03:02:25.000 They eat everything they can.

03:02:26.000 They're so big.

03:02:29.000 Imagine how much food you would have to eat if you weighed 800 pounds.

03:02:34.000 How much food would you have to eat every day?

03:02:36.000 Well, four times as much as you eat now. 1.00

03:02:38.000 Look at that fucking creep. 1.00

03:02:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:02:40.000 Look at that fucking long-nailed creep. 1.00

03:02:43.000 That's a monster, man. 1.00

03:02:44.000 Yeah.

03:02:45.000 But we think it's Yogi.

03:02:46.000 Oh, it's Yogi.

03:02:47.000 Look, he's so cute. 0.61

03:02:48.000 He will eat your kid in front of you. 0.64

03:02:50.000 Yeah. 0.83

03:02:50.000 And that's what they have to do. 0.83

03:02:52.000 I mean, they're predators.

03:02:53.000 They're out there.

03:02:54.000 They're omnivores. 1.00

03:02:55.000 I mean, they do occasionally eat whatever the fuck they want. 0.99

03:02:59.000 They'll eat roots and berries. 0.98

03:03:00.000 They'll eat everything else, too.

03:03:02.000 But they'll definitely eat you.

03:03:03.000 Yeah.

03:03:03.000 And love it.

03:03:04.000 Yeah.

03:03:05.000 Have a good old time.

03:03:07.000 Yeah, that salmon's a perfect food for them.

03:03:09.000 It's all fat.

03:03:10.000 They just store it up.

03:03:12.000 Yep.

03:03:12.000 It's almost like it's designed for them, too, because the salmon die.

03:03:16.000 They literally die on the river.

03:03:19.000 You don't even have to catch them.

03:03:20.000 Oh, I didn't know that.

03:03:21.000 Every year.

03:03:22.000 Oh, when they have to die, they go back up to where they were born, right?

03:03:26.000 Yes.

03:03:27.000 They say that once the salmon make the trek from the ocean to the freshwater, they're already on a path to die.

03:03:35.000 Their clock has already gone over.

03:03:37.000 It's already flipped over into no return land.

03:03:40.000 You couldn't take them out of there and bring them to some salmon pond.

03:03:43.000 They live forever.

03:03:45.000 Doesn't work that way. 0.89

03:03:46.000 They breed, they make the trek, they breed, and when they get to the spot where, you know, at the end of their life, their body starts changing color, they start getting mushy, they look rotten, and they just fucking wind up like pooling up on the ground,

03:04:02.000 and then the bears move in, and they eat hundreds of rotten ones.

03:04:05.000 See, this is while the salmon are in the run.

03:04:09.000 And these bears are, they're fighting over territory. 1.00

03:04:12.000 Look at the size of these motherfuckers. 1.00

03:04:13.000 Jesus Christ, dude. 1.00

03:04:14.000 They're fighting over who gets the salmon.

03:04:16.000 Yeah.

03:04:16.000 But these are salmon that are still pretty fresh and healthy.

03:04:19.000 They're swimming around.

03:04:20.000 They look good.

03:04:21.000 And so they catch them.

03:04:23.000 Like, that's a perfectly healthy salmon, and he catches it right in the middle of it.

03:04:27.000 I tried. 1.00

03:04:28.000 He's all slow-mo and shit. 1.00

03:04:29.000 Here he goes. 1.00

03:04:30.000 They're trying.

03:04:31.000 They catch some of them. 1.00

03:04:33.000 Ooh, come on, bitch. 1.00

03:04:35.000 Same one. 1.00

03:04:35.000 Oh, there you go. 1.00

03:04:36.000 Ooh, look at that.

03:04:37.000 Look at that.

03:04:38.000 Imagine just standing in freezing cold water waiting to catch something with your mouth.

03:04:43.000 That's delicious.

03:04:45.000 Right, but they figured it out and it works.

03:04:46.000 Yep.

03:04:47.000 Look at the Cubs.

03:04:47.000 They're like, come on, Mom.

03:04:48.000 What the fuck? 1.00

03:04:50.000 So mom's probably going to give them some of that. 1.00

03:04:52.000 Yeah, see, she breaks off pieces of it. 0.64

03:04:54.000 And so they just keep doing that back and forth, and they'll do that all day.

03:04:58.000 But then, once the salmon are done with their run, then they just die.

03:05:02.000 And coincidentally, when they're dying, it's probably right when the bears are trying to fatten up and get ready for hibernation.

03:05:10.000 So it all sort of happens together.

03:05:13.000 And they're all in the right place at the right time.

03:05:15.000 See if you can find bears eating rotten salmon. 0.92

03:05:19.000 Because sometimes they'll pool up in these rivers, in these little ponds and shit, and you just see all these bears just chewing on these rotten carcasses. 0.95

03:05:29.000 Yeah. 0.78

03:05:30.000 Yeah, those salmon are endangered now.

03:05:32.000 We eat so much more fish.

03:05:33.000 Remember when I was a kid, I'd have fish once every three weeks?

03:05:37.000 Now, I mean, maybe it's because we're in L.A., but I have fish a few times a week.

03:05:41.000 Do you? 0.98

03:05:41.000 Yeah, I have some fucking sushi one day. 0.98

03:05:44.000 Wife will cook some salmon on another day. 0.99

03:05:46.000 Go get one of those poke bowls. 1.00

03:05:49.000 We're constantly eating salmon.

03:06:10.000 I had no idea.

03:06:11.000 Did you have any idea that a tuna could be $3 million?

03:06:14.000 I know that they wait on the dock in Japan, and certain chefs have more cachet, and they're able to come in first and pick the tuna, but then they auction them off, and yeah, they go for crazy money.

03:06:27.000 That's so crazy. 0.99

03:06:29.000 That's a giant fucking fish, though. 1.00

03:06:31.000 Isn't it like 600 pounds or something? 0.99

03:06:33.000 How much does it cost?

03:06:33.000 Yeah, at least.

03:06:35.000 278 kilograms.

03:06:36.000 What's that in English?

03:06:37.000 2.2.

03:06:38.000 Yeah, close to 6. Yeah.

03:06:40.000 Look at that thing. 1.00

03:06:41.000 God damn. 0.99

03:06:42.000 Imagine how hard that is to bring in. 1.00

03:06:44.000 Yeah.

03:06:45.000 I caught a yellowtail in Hawaii that was like 11 pounds.

03:06:48.000 Oh yeah?

03:06:48.000 A battle.

03:06:49.000 Really?

03:06:49.000 What a battle.

03:06:50.000 Yeah.

03:06:51.000 613 pounds.

03:06:52.000 Wow.

03:06:54.000 Yeah, we caught quite a few of them.

03:06:56.000 You know what's interesting?

03:06:56.000 They're catching ones they're calling Hamachi, because they were actually from a Hamachi farm that was on the Big Island that broke during the storm.

03:07:05.000 Remember that storm there a couple years back? 0.96

03:07:07.000 Giant fucking hurricane that hit Hawaii? 0.99

03:07:09.000 Well, it destroyed this containment area that they had where they were farm-raising Hamachi for sushi and shit. 0.99

03:07:16.000 So now this type of yellowtail is everywhere in the ocean. 0.98

03:07:21.000 Oh, wow.

03:07:21.000 Yeah, we caught quite a few of them.

03:07:23.000 Did you eat them?

03:07:24.000 Yeah, they're great.

03:07:25.000 So you caught it there, you brought it back to the hotel, and then they fried it up for you?

03:07:29.000 Yeah, they'll cook it for you, yeah.

03:07:29.000 Wow.

03:07:30.000 Yeah.

03:07:30.000 Oh, it's amazing.

03:07:31.000 So good.

03:07:32.000 They made sushi for us.

03:07:33.000 They made sashimi.

03:07:35.000 They made ceviche.

03:07:36.000 Wow.

03:07:37.000 They baked it.

03:07:38.000 They cooked it a couple of different ways, but they're so powerful.

03:07:43.000 A 10-pound one, 9-pound one is so powerful.

03:07:46.000 You can't believe how strong they are.

03:07:48.000 You're wrestling with them when you're trying to get them into the belly. 0.97

03:07:53.000 So imagine that thing, 600 pounds. 1.00

03:07:57.000 Damn. 1.00

03:07:57.000 Holy shit. 1.00

03:07:58.000 Were you out with the whole family fishing? 1.00

03:07:59.000 No, just my youngest.

03:08:01.000 My youngest daughter loves it.

03:08:02.000 Did she love it?

03:08:02.000 Loves it.

03:08:03.000 She loves fishing.

03:08:04.000 Yeah.

03:08:05.000 We put a video up of the dolphins that were with us.

03:08:09.000 I saw that.

03:08:09.000 It's crazy, man.

03:08:10.000 That was amazing.

03:08:11.000 I've never seen that many dolphins swim with a boat before.

03:08:13.000 Me neither.

03:08:14.000 It was incredible.

03:08:15.000 We just hit the right spot, and then they all decided to swim with the boat.

03:08:20.000 They just get in front of the boat as the boat's pushing the water, and they sort of surf it.

03:08:25.000 That's amazing.

03:08:26.000 So crazy.

03:08:26.000 You worry about you're going to hit them.

03:08:28.000 You worry that they're going to...

03:08:28.000 Right.

03:08:29.000 The people who run in the boat, they don't worry about it at all.

03:08:31.000 The dolphins know exactly what they're doing.

03:08:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:08:33.000 They're smart as shit. 1.00

03:08:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:08:34.000 It's weird to watch, man. 1.00

03:08:36.000 It's weird to watch them all coordinate together.

03:08:38.000 And then when they're done, they were done.

03:08:39.000 Like, bye!

03:08:39.000 Yeah.

03:08:40.000 They take off.

03:08:41.000 Wow.

03:08:42.000 Yeah, my daughter surfs and they come out. 0.99

03:08:43.000 They play around a little bit.

03:08:45.000 Sometimes they ride the waves when she's surfing.

03:08:47.000 That's one of the dark sides of fishing, right?

03:08:50.000 Commercial fishing is what happens in Japan.

03:08:53.000 They take those dolphins and they look at them as competition.

03:08:57.000 They're going to kill their tuna. 1.00

03:08:59.000 They've been doing that forever, the large-scale slaughter of them. 1.00

03:09:03.000 That's scary shit. 1.00

03:09:05.000 They just shoot them? 1.00

03:09:06.000 They cut them.

03:09:07.000 Have you ever seen the documentary, The Cove?

03:09:09.000 Oh, no, I heard about that.

03:09:11.000 It's awful.

03:09:12.000 It's awful.

03:09:15.000 It's like they're slaughtering water people.

03:09:19.000 That's what it's like.

03:09:20.000 Yeah.

03:09:21.000 What a dolphin is, is some strange, super intelligent creature that we don't totally understand.

03:09:28.000 Yeah.

03:09:28.000 And they can talk.

03:09:29.000 They can talk to each other and we don't know what they're saying, but they know what they're saying.

03:09:33.000 Yeah.

03:09:34.000 We could train them.

03:09:35.000 You could ride them.

03:09:36.000 You could do flips for fish.

03:09:38.000 All this kind of stuff.

03:09:39.000 That's all true.

03:09:40.000 That's all true.

03:09:41.000 But what's also true is they have a giant brain.

03:09:43.000 They have a huge brain.

03:09:45.000 They have a cerebral cortex that's 40% larger than a person. 1.00

03:09:48.000 No shit? 1.00

03:09:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:09:49.000 Wow. 1.00

03:09:50.000 It's designed for the movement of its body, because it's a lot larger body.

03:09:56.000 But they think it's also got some sort of probably not totally understood or measured cognitive ability.

03:10:05.000 They don't know how smart they really are.

03:10:07.000 We were talking about Timothy Leary.

03:10:09.000 He used to pal around with John Lilly.

03:10:11.000 John Lilly is the guy who invented the isolation tank.

03:10:14.000 He was a pioneer in interspecies communication.

03:10:17.000 He would give dolphins acid.

03:10:20.000 Really?

03:10:21.000 He would set the float tank up next to the dolphin tank and take acid and get in there with them.

03:10:26.000 He was trying to figure out a way to get dolphins to speak.

03:10:31.000 He would get them to make a noise that sounds like, Hello!

03:10:35.000 You know, but they don't have the vocal cords. 0.93

03:10:37.000 They can't make the sounds that we expect.

03:10:40.000 Yeah.

03:10:40.000 But their sounds, we don't understand.

03:10:42.000 Right.

03:10:43.000 Which is weird, because they know what you're saying.

03:10:44.000 If you say, okay, we're going to jump now, we're going to jump, we're going to give you a fish.

03:10:47.000 They know what you're saying.

03:10:49.000 We have no idea what they're saying.

03:10:50.000 Yeah.

03:10:52.000 Yeah, it's weird when you, what is the cutoff for killing an intelligent animal?

03:10:56.000 Right.

03:10:57.000 You know, like you can't kill dogs, cats.

03:10:59.000 Right.

03:11:00.000 Dogs aren't nearly as smart as dolphins.

03:11:02.000 Right.

03:11:03.000 Yeah.

03:11:03.000 But you can kill dogs in some spots.

03:11:05.000 It's cultural.

03:11:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:11:07.000 Because pigs are probably as smart as dogs. 0.91

03:11:09.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

03:11:09.000 Pigs are really smart. 0.99

03:11:11.000 I mean, that's a tricky one.

03:11:15.000 All of it is, you know...

03:11:17.000 That is one of our criteria.

03:11:20.000 Like, even a lot of vegetarians will still step on roaches.

03:11:24.000 Yeah.

03:11:25.000 You know, our criteria is how smart is the thing?

03:11:30.000 How close is it to us?

03:11:31.000 The further it's away from us, the easier we could... 0.97

03:11:33.000 Like, nobody gives a fuck about oysters. 0.98

03:11:36.000 Yeah. 0.95

03:11:37.000 You know?

03:11:37.000 Sad when an oyster gets got?

03:11:39.000 I don't care.

03:11:40.000 I don't care at all.

03:11:41.000 I don't feel a thing.

03:11:42.000 Yeah.

03:11:42.000 When someone shucks an oyster and opens it up and scoops it out and swallows it, I'm like, hey, was it good?

03:11:46.000 Yeah.

03:11:46.000 I'm not like, ah, poor little piggy.

03:11:48.000 But the poor little piggy, that's real.

03:11:51.000 It's like, that thing's smart.

03:11:52.000 Oh, it's so scared, so terrified.

03:11:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:11:56.000 All those things are dumb. 0.99

03:11:57.000 What about lobsters getting thrown in a pot? 1.00

03:11:59.000 Can you do that?

03:12:00.000 I can't do that.

03:12:01.000 Oh yeah, I can do it.

03:12:03.000 Freaks me out.

03:12:04.000 Really?

03:12:04.000 That they're like moving around and alive and then you throw them in and don't they scream?

03:12:09.000 They're bugs.

03:12:10.000 Yeah, they scream.

03:12:10.000 They sing first.

03:12:11.000 Yeah.

03:12:12.000 No, they don't scream.

03:12:13.000 They don't?

03:12:14.000 No.

03:12:16.000 It's not like the frog at Carnegie Hall.

03:12:17.000 I don't think they can make noise.

03:12:18.000 I don't think they make noise.

03:12:20.000 They're lobsters.

03:12:21.000 Yeah. 0.97

03:12:22.000 Yeah, but they taste fucking good, huh? 0.95

03:12:24.000 I'll eat tons of them. 0.98

03:12:25.000 When I used to work in Boston at the Copley Marriott, that was my day job for a while in college, and then when I first started doing stand-up, and we used to go down, and it was the biggest banquet hall in Boston, so we used to get all these conventions, all these fucking hayseed farmers who'd come from the Midwest, 1.00

03:12:42.000 and And they'd stay in the hotel and they could order any kind of dinner they wanted for their banquet.

03:12:47.000 But they always wanted the pilgrim banquet. 0.98

03:12:50.000 And we used to have to fucking dress up as pilgrims. 0.99

03:12:53.000 And we would serve lobster. 0.99

03:12:55.000 It didn't even make any sense.

03:12:56.000 It's like two different things.

03:12:58.000 So they would make – and the thing about banquet cooking is you cook 10% more than the amount of people you're feeding just in case.

03:13:06.000 Which meant there was like, you know, 30 college kids all waiting tables.

03:13:12.000 And so after we fed them, they would usually have like a presentation or whatever, a comedian or a speaker. 0.84

03:13:19.000 So we would leave the room for like an hour and a half and we would just fucking go to town on like a hundred lobsters. 0.96

03:13:26.000 Wow. 0.96

03:13:26.000 You could eat like three lobsters if you wanted. 0.96

03:13:29.000 Really?

03:13:29.000 And then our friends were all working the bars.

03:13:30.000 They were all the bartenders.

03:13:32.000 So we'd be doing shots.

03:13:34.000 Wow.

03:13:34.000 Drinking beer.

03:13:35.000 So the upside was you lived like a king. 1.00

03:13:38.000 The downside was you were dressed like a fucking asshole. 1.00

03:13:45.000 You remember clam bakes? 1.00

03:13:46.000 People would do them on the beach.

03:13:47.000 Oh yeah, those were good. 0.99

03:13:49.000 Like a clam bake where you would bury it and put seaweed over the top and shit. 0.99

03:13:54.000 Wet seaweed and it would just steam everything. 0.98

03:13:57.000 I've never done it.

03:13:58.000 I've only eaten it at a restaurant when you order a clam bake and they give you some.

03:14:02.000 I've never done the beach thing.

03:14:03.000 I did it with Kevin Flynn in Nantucket. 0.97

03:14:05.000 God damn, it looks attractive. 0.98

03:14:06.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:14:07.000 It's very attractive.

03:14:08.000 It's great.

03:14:08.000 It's very earthy, right?

03:14:09.000 Put the fucking corn in there, everything. 1.00

03:14:11.000 Potatoes. 1.00

03:14:12.000 There's something about a bonfire on the beach, right?

03:14:15.000 It's like extra special.

03:14:16.000 Yeah.

03:14:17.000 Like, here it is.

03:14:18.000 That's it right there.

03:14:19.000 How to make a steam pit. 1.00

03:14:22.000 Make a nice fucking steam pit. 1.00

03:14:24.000 Look at that. 1.00

03:14:25.000 We got lobsters.

03:14:26.000 We got corn.

03:14:27.000 We got clams.

03:14:30.000 Yeah, it would be lobsters and corn and clams.

03:14:34.000 Potatoes.

03:14:34.000 Yeah, potatoes.

03:14:35.000 And it would all be buried in like a burlap sack under the ground.

03:14:41.000 Mussels, too. 0.99

03:14:42.000 God damn it, that looks good. 0.99

03:14:45.000 People say they don't like lobster. 0.99

03:14:47.000 I just do not understand that.

03:14:48.000 You know who doesn't like lobster?

03:14:50.000 Eddie Bravo.

03:14:51.000 Won't eat fish.

03:14:52.000 Hates fish.

03:14:52.000 I'm not a big fan.

03:14:53.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

03:14:55.000 Lobster and crab. 1.00

03:14:57.000 Nice Alaskan crab.

03:14:58.000 I can do a little bit.

03:14:59.000 Look at that with the green stuff.

03:15:00.000 What is that?

03:15:01.000 Minced onions or something?

03:15:02.000 What is that?

03:15:02.000 You call it crow, I think?

03:15:04.000 No, what's the stuff on the...

03:15:06.000 No, that's not what that is.

03:15:08.000 That's like a spice, right?

03:15:11.000 Because it's on the corn, too.

03:15:12.000 Oh, yeah.

03:15:12.000 I think that's like a...

03:15:14.000 What is that?

03:15:15.000 Like a celery or something like that?

03:15:16.000 Parsley? 0.99

03:15:16.000 Chopped parsley or some shit? 0.99

03:15:18.000 A roe. 0.99

03:15:19.000 And then the eggs are the roe.

03:15:20.000 That's at the top. 1.00

03:15:21.000 That shit's nasty. 1.00

03:15:22.000 I like it. 1.00

03:15:23.000 You eat the roe?

03:15:24.000 I eat everything. 1.00

03:15:25.000 No shit. 0.99

03:15:26.000 I chew the inner cartilage up. 1.00

03:15:29.000 And I suck the meat out of it. 0.90

03:15:31.000 I feel like if that thing is going to die, I'm going to eat as much of it as I can. 0.97

03:15:34.000 I bite into the...

03:15:36.000 You know how you take the back?

03:15:38.000 Yeah. 1.00

03:15:38.000 And there's that meat underneath with all the crazy gills and all that shit? 1.00

03:15:41.000 I just chew into that stuff. 1.00

03:15:43.000 Really?

03:15:44.000 Yeah, I chew it up.

03:15:45.000 Chew it up good. 1.00

03:15:46.000 Dunk all that shit in butter? 1.00

03:15:48.000 Yeah, that's good. 1.00

03:15:50.000 Then I'd throw a move on one of those waitresses. 1.00

03:15:52.000 I'm dressed as a pilgrim.

03:15:54.000 I'm drunk. 0.59

03:15:55.000 Hit on some girl from Boston College.

03:15:58.000 Did you know that lobsters were like poor people food in New York?

03:16:00.000 They would just go out to the East River and pull them out of the water and serve them as bar food and poor people food? 0.95

03:16:05.000 Do you know in Ireland during the famine, they were pulling fucking lobster out of the ocean? 0.98

03:16:09.000 Wouldn't eat it. 0.99

03:16:10.000 They considered it like rats.

03:16:12.000 Oh my god. 0.86

03:16:13.000 The British would just ship it off.

03:16:16.000 That is so crazy.

03:16:17.000 How'd they not figure it out?

03:16:19.000 They're drunk.

03:16:20.000 One person just boiled it up, made some butter. 1.00

03:16:22.000 Just shut the fuck up and try this. 1.00

03:16:23.000 People are like, what? 1.00

03:16:26.000 I've been avoiding this?

03:16:27.000 What have I been thinking? 0.99

03:16:28.000 What the fuck have I been doing, lad? 0.99

03:16:30.000 The whole family's starving. 0.99

03:16:31.000 It's goddamn delicious. 0.98

03:16:32.000 We've been eating potatoes. 1.00

03:16:34.000 We could've been eating this fucking lobster. 1.00

03:16:36.000 Oh, we've been eating this fucking Lucky Charms. 1.00

03:16:40.000 Dude, it's almost four o'clock. 0.99

03:16:42.000 No.

03:16:42.000 We've been rambling forever.

03:16:44.000 It's a goddamn time warp in this building. 1.00

03:16:46.000 Jesus. 0.99

03:16:47.000 How long have we been doing this?

03:16:48.000 317. Three hours and 17 minutes.

03:16:50.000 Damn. 0.99

03:16:50.000 Plus we talked for about a half hour before the start. 0.99

03:16:53.000 Can I plug some dates?

03:16:54.000 Please do.

03:16:55.000 Ladies and gentlemen, live comedy coming to you.

03:16:57.000 I'm going to be in Cleveland, one of my favorite clubs, Hilarities.

03:17:00.000 Love that place.

03:17:01.000 January 17th through 19th.

03:17:02.000 That's a great spot.

03:17:04.000 Yeah, I love that place.

03:17:05.000 And Boston.

03:17:05.000 I'll be in Boston.

03:17:06.000 Laugh Boston, January 31st.

03:17:08.000 Last time I was in Cleveland, you were in Cleveland, and I did it with you.

03:17:11.000 That's right.

03:17:12.000 You stopped by and did it at a surprise guest spot.

03:17:14.000 That was fun.

03:17:15.000 That was fun.

03:17:16.000 Grand Rapids, Michigan in February, and then a bunch of other dates coming up.

03:17:20.000 And Best Buddies.

03:17:21.000 I'm doing a benefit January 27th.

03:17:24.000 At the Comedy Store.

03:17:25.000 Are you around?

03:17:25.000 Bill Burr is going to be on the show.

03:17:27.000 Hang on a second.

03:17:28.000 I think you did it last year.

03:17:29.000 I think I did do it last year.

03:17:31.000 It's benefiting a group that helps intellectually disabled people.

03:17:34.000 The 27th is a Sunday night.

03:17:37.000 I'm in, Gregory!

03:17:38.000 We got it!

03:17:39.000 Joe Rogan's in.

03:17:40.000 Come see it.

03:17:40.000 I'm in!

03:17:41.000 I've also got a new podcast with Alison Rosen called Childish, where we talk about raising kids together.

03:17:47.000 I really like her.

03:17:48.000 Isn't she great? 0.90

03:17:48.000 She's very cool. 0.90

03:17:50.000 I've had her on, and I did her when she was on Adam Crow.

03:17:56.000 I did the show with her and them together.

03:17:57.000 I like her a lot.

03:17:58.000 I think I did it a couple times with her and Adam.

03:18:00.000 I like her a lot.

03:18:01.000 We used to do each other's podcasts constantly, and we just realized she was my best chemistry, so we just started a podcast.

03:18:08.000 Yeah, she's kind.

03:18:10.000 She's super smart. 0.61

03:18:11.000 She's cool.

03:18:11.000 She's reasonable.

03:18:12.000 You can tell she's thinking about things.

03:18:15.000 Right.

03:18:15.000 Yeah, that's awesome, man.

03:18:17.000 I'm glad you're doing that.

03:18:18.000 Yeah.

03:18:18.000 And what is it called again?

03:18:19.000 Childish.

03:18:20.000 She's got a baby and another one on the way, and it's kind of me trying to teach her how to parent, and she's not buying it.

03:18:28.000 How many do you do a week?

03:18:29.000 We just do one a week.

03:18:30.000 I think we've done like seven so far.

03:18:32.000 Nice.

03:18:33.000 And you still do your own, right?

03:18:34.000 Yep.

03:18:36.000 What's it called?

03:18:37.000 Fitzdog Radio.

03:18:39.000 How many hours have we been talking? 1.00

03:18:41.000 Holy shit. 1.00

03:18:42.000 We're burnt out. 0.99

03:18:44.000 Greg Fitz...

03:18:45.000 What is it?

03:18:45.000 Fitzdog Radio.com?

03:18:47.000 Fitzdog Radio and Fitzdog.com for tickets.

03:18:49.000 Fitzdog.com.

03:18:49.000 Yeah.

03:18:50.000 Fitzdog.com.

03:18:51.000 Greg Fitzsimmons on Instagram.

03:18:53.000 Greg Fitzshow on Twitter.

03:18:55.000 Nice.

03:18:56.000 Yeah.

03:18:56.000 Come on, man.

03:18:56.000 We're friends.

03:18:57.000 Look at you. 1.00

03:18:57.000 That's it, you fucks. 1.00

03:18:59.000 Bye. 1.00

03:19:00.000 Love ya.

The Joe Rogan Experience - January 11, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1223 - Greg Fitzsimmons

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Summary

Transcript