The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1252 - Dave Foley & Paul Greenberg

00:00:04.000 Four, three, two, one, and we're live!

00:00:09.000 So what am I not supposed to say?

00:00:10.000 Huh? 1.00

00:00:11.000 Oh, cunt. 1.00

00:00:13.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:00:13.000 That's basically the title of the show that we've omitted from the print listings. 0.99

00:00:21.000 Yeah, the show is actually called Don't Say Cunt with Paul and Dave. 0.99

00:00:25.000 Because this is the one place where you're not going to hear the word cunt. 0.99

00:00:28.000 Yeah, it's kind of a promise that for 45 minutes, there'll be 45 minutes because, as we understand it, Americans don't like the word cunt. 0.99

00:00:35.000 Some Americans, it's getting nummer. 0.99

00:00:38.000 Yeah.

00:00:39.000 It used to be a lot worse.

00:00:40.000 But until that day.

00:00:41.000 There's a bunch of women that were trying to take it back. 1.00

00:00:44.000 Was that the guys we fucked girls? 1.00

00:00:47.000 Maybe. 0.99

00:00:48.000 I think it was.

00:00:49.000 They were trying to take it back.

00:00:50.000 They were trying to like, you know, own it. 1.00

00:00:52.000 Take back cunt? 1.00

00:00:53.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:53.000 Take back the word? 1.00

00:00:53.000 Well, I think I'm very dead inside my head. 1.00

00:00:57.000 What's the matter?

00:00:57.000 Dave's having a stroke.

00:00:59.000 Dave's having a stroke.

00:00:59.000 Did it die?

00:01:00.000 It might have disconnected.

00:01:02.000 Yeah, this is fun.

00:01:03.000 Jamie will hook it up.

00:01:05.000 You're okay.

00:01:06.000 Am I plugged in?

00:01:08.000 There's a little bit of an issue.

00:01:10.000 I feel like there's a pressure differential.

00:01:12.000 Is that better?

00:01:12.000 That's a weird feeling.

00:01:13.000 You only have one ear on, too.

00:01:15.000 Oh, you have both of them on there.

00:01:16.000 Yeah, I took it off because I couldn't hear anything.

00:01:18.000 Check, check, check, check, check.

00:01:19.000 One, two, three, four, five, five, six.

00:01:21.000 That's me.

00:01:22.000 No, that's Paul, apparently.

00:01:23.000 That's me, I think.

00:01:24.000 Check, check, check, check.

00:01:25.000 That's me.

00:01:26.000 I can hear now.

00:01:26.000 Okay.

00:01:27.000 You can turn me down just a little bit.

00:01:28.000 Somebody's in here.

00:01:30.000 Gremlins. 0.99

00:01:31.000 Goddamn Gremlins. 1.00

00:01:32.000 That's perfect. 0.99

00:01:32.000 Thank you. 0.99

00:01:32.000 Monking with the fucking sound. 0.99

00:01:34.000 We're not here. 0.99

00:01:35.000 Which one was me?

00:01:35.000 I'm going to just adjust it.

00:01:36.000 And that's our show.

00:01:37.000 This one?

00:01:38.000 There you go.

00:01:39.000 Hello, Dave Foley.

00:01:42.000 I hear you, Dave.

00:01:42.000 There we go.

00:01:43.000 That's good.

00:01:44.000 I always hear Dave.

00:01:45.000 So why did you guys choose that as your podcast title? 0.99

00:01:48.000 Well, we're Canadians, and cunt is not nearly as bad in Canada as it is in the States. 0.98

00:01:54.000 Really? 0.99

00:01:54.000 As a swear word, yeah. 0.99

00:01:56.000 Yeah.

00:01:57.000 I don't know what – they need to put out some sort of a periodic table of the atomic weight of swear words.

00:02:03.000 Yeah.

00:02:03.000 You know.

00:02:05.000 Cunt would be quite heavy, but heavier in the American version. 1.00

00:02:09.000 But here, in America, cunt actually just would drop through the crust of the earth. 1.00

00:02:16.000 Yeah, it's too heavy. 1.00

00:02:17.000 And just tumble right down to the core.

00:02:18.000 You'll go through the other side.

00:02:20.000 Yeah, so I guess we just found that... 0.91

00:02:23.000 Patently ridiculous? 0.69

00:02:24.000 Well, we like, you know, we grew up, I grew up hearing the word a lot from my dad. 0.97

00:02:35.000 What is your dad like?

00:02:37.000 Well, he's not like much anymore.

00:02:40.000 He's dead.

00:02:41.000 Thanks.

00:02:42.000 Sorry, dude.

00:02:43.000 He died in 79. Sorry, dude.

00:02:44.000 He died in 79. It's okay.

00:02:47.000 No, as I always say, there are no better parents than dead parents. 1.00

00:02:51.000 Yeah, they can't fuck you up anymore. 1.00

00:02:53.000 Yeah, that's right. 0.99

00:02:53.000 But my dad was real, really fond of that word. 0.99

00:02:58.000 Was he English?

00:02:59.000 No, but...

00:02:59.000 Is he full Canadian?

00:03:00.000 He's full Canadian, but being Canadian is kind of like being English a little bit.

00:03:04.000 You guys have English people in your money still.

00:03:06.000 Yes.

00:03:06.000 And we get all the English movies, all the English TV shows.

00:03:10.000 We pledge allegiance to the Queen in school.

00:03:13.000 Is that still going on?

00:03:15.000 Possibly, yeah.

00:03:15.000 And in our sleep.

00:03:16.000 So many good things about Canada, yet so many preposterous things.

00:03:20.000 It's true.

00:03:20.000 Well, the fact that a monarchy still exists at all is preposterous.

00:03:24.000 Canada is great on paper.

00:03:25.000 Yeah.

00:03:27.000 Well, the monarchy, even in itself, has become Kardashian-ified.

00:03:31.000 Well, yeah.

00:03:32.000 Right.

00:03:34.000 But didn't they, weren't they always?

00:03:36.000 I guess they were.

00:03:37.000 I mean, how else did they?

00:03:39.000 Like during the Prince Die days and yeah.

00:03:39.000 Or even just back to Henry VIII. Sure.

00:03:42.000 I mean, what maintained the monarchy other than the fact that people wanted celebrities?

00:03:48.000 And that was the only celebrities they had.

00:03:50.000 Right, and the priests. 0.98

00:03:51.000 And I think Henry VIII also had ass implants, if I'm incorrect. 0.99

00:03:55.000 Yes, he did. 0.99

00:03:56.000 Is that true?

00:03:56.000 Yeah.

00:03:57.000 Wow.

00:03:57.000 Good for him.

00:03:59.000 Progressive.

00:03:59.000 It's ahead of his time.

00:04:01.000 Yeah, that is an interesting thing.

00:04:03.000 It's like the Prince Charles Lady Di saga was essentially one of our first reality things to enjoy.

00:04:10.000 Yeah.

00:04:11.000 Yes, that was madness when it happened.

00:04:14.000 It was so huge.

00:04:14.000 And then someone said, well, what if we just make housewives in Orange County royalty?

00:04:20.000 And you don't have to pay them as much as the king and queen.

00:04:24.000 And you can cancel them.

00:04:25.000 Yeah.

00:04:26.000 Those shows are wonderful.

00:04:28.000 I've never seen an episode of any of them.

00:04:30.000 They're fascinating.

00:04:31.000 The Beverly Hills one is...

00:04:32.000 Well, there's different versions of them, right?

00:04:35.000 In different versions, you get to see the geographical creepiness of...

00:04:38.000 Like Atlanta is its own thing.

00:04:39.000 Yeah, Atlanta's not a bad one.

00:04:41.000 The worst one was Jersey. 1.00

00:04:43.000 They're fucking savage people. 1.00

00:04:45.000 That's my ancestors. 1.00

00:04:47.000 Those fucking savage monkey folk that live in... 1.00

00:04:50.000 Isn't the worst anything the Jersey version? 1.00

00:04:53.000 Yeah.

00:04:53.000 The worst of anything.

00:04:54.000 The worst penicillin is the Jersey penicillin.

00:04:57.000 CSI Jersey was terrible, by the way.

00:05:00.000 Nah, that doesn't exist.

00:05:03.000 Yeah, the Beverly Hills one, all of them are fascinating.

00:05:07.000 Take people, force them into these situations where they're going to have these artificial disputes. 0.91

00:05:12.000 What was crazy to me is watching people succumb to the pressure of all that attention when they've never experienced it before, and then you're going to just thrust them into this massively popular, you know, for lack of a better word, cunt fest. 0.95

00:05:27.000 Yeah, see?

00:05:29.000 Well, if you take fame, Yeah, and you divorce it of any supporting, sort of supporting, you know, talent.

00:05:38.000 Or nothing, no offering even.

00:05:41.000 Something to offer, yeah, nothing to offer.

00:05:42.000 No offering.

00:05:43.000 There's no painting, no sculpting, there's no singing.

00:05:46.000 They only take.

00:05:47.000 They don't give.

00:05:48.000 Because fame will destroy, if you're a brilliant artist, fame will destroy you.

00:05:52.000 Yes.

00:05:52.000 But if there's nothing underneath the fame, there's nothing to hold it up.

00:05:57.000 Well, I remember watching Kelsey Grammer's wife. 0.99

00:05:59.000 I had met her before.

00:06:01.000 She seemed like a very nice lady. 0.74

00:06:02.000 Camille.

00:06:03.000 Yeah, Camille.

00:06:04.000 And then she... 1.00

00:06:05.000 I forgot her name.

00:06:05.000 Thank you.

00:06:05.000 I didn't want to just...

00:06:07.000 I wanted to give context.

00:06:09.000 He is a huge Camille fan.

00:06:10.000 I'm giant.

00:06:11.000 I have a tattoo.

00:06:12.000 I was going to say, do you have a tattoo?

00:06:15.000 But she decided to play the heel. 0.92

00:06:19.000 And it was so obvious that the pressure was just overwhelming the hatred that was coming her way. 0.99

00:06:26.000 She had decided she was going to be the boss bitch on the show and just let everybody know, you know, this is how it is. 1.00

00:06:31.000 And I'm here to run things. 0.99

00:06:33.000 And just the swamp of evil that came her way. 1.00

00:06:37.000 And then she's like, quit, done, fuck this show. 1.00

00:06:40.000 She bailed out of it. 1.00

00:06:42.000 Good for her.

00:06:43.000 Did she even choose that role? 0.65

00:06:45.000 Or was it like a producer that said, here's your answer.

00:06:48.000 Well, according to Kelsey, he told her, like, hey, okay, this is what you've always wanted here.

00:06:54.000 Like, because that's, like, what led to their divorce or what was happening during them getting divorced.

00:06:59.000 You know, he essentially said, you know, this is what you've always wanted.

00:07:03.000 Like, you know, like, don't think you understand this, so good luck with it.

00:07:07.000 And then, you know, she just kind of vanished afterwards. 0.99

00:07:11.000 She's like, fuck all this, which is wise on her part. 0.99

00:07:14.000 She recognized what it is. 1.00

00:07:17.000 But those people that are on it, I know some people who know some folks that are on that show, and they just go crazy.

00:07:24.000 They start popping pills and losing their mind.

00:07:26.000 They're in therapy every day, and it's just madness.

00:07:29.000 The desire for fame with nothing more to it other than a desire to be famous can only drive you insane.

00:07:37.000 Fame is an emergent property of doing something.

00:07:41.000 Right.

00:07:42.000 Is bearable.

00:07:43.000 But it's strange.

00:07:44.000 But so strange.

00:07:46.000 And so difficult to truly manage.

00:07:48.000 Yeah, but you can at least say, I don't define myself by the fame.

00:07:51.000 I define myself by the work that created the fame.

00:07:54.000 Whereas if there's no work underneath it, you only exist in so much as people are aware of you.

00:08:01.000 You exist in those moments when you walk into a room and everyone's staring at you.

00:08:06.000 That's what you look for.

00:08:07.000 That's it.

00:08:08.000 I have that anyway because of my body.

00:08:12.000 So I guess I know what real fame is like.

00:08:16.000 And the horrible allergy you have to pants.

00:08:18.000 That's true.

00:08:19.000 I can't wear pants every time I walk in a room.

00:08:22.000 Well, I always say that fame is a property of the beholder, not the beheld.

00:08:28.000 And that fame only exists so long as somebody in the room knows who you are.

00:08:32.000 And the minute you're in a room where no one knows you, your fame evaporates.

00:08:35.000 That is one of the weirdest interrogations I've ever gotten.

00:08:38.000 It's when people go, why do these people know you?

00:08:41.000 What do you do?

00:08:42.000 Who are you?

00:08:43.000 Should I know you?

00:08:44.000 Should I take a photo with you?

00:08:46.000 You're somebody, but I don't know who.

00:08:47.000 The weird thing is they're almost offended that other people know you and they don't.

00:08:52.000 Like, you're playing a game with me.

00:08:55.000 Why don't I know you?

00:08:57.000 They get angry.

00:08:59.000 Also, there's the other thing about fame is that people feel like they can just start talking to you.

00:09:03.000 Yes.

00:09:04.000 You can sit next to you.

00:09:07.000 Oh yeah, you could be in the middle of an intense conversation with your favorite person on the planet. 1.00

00:09:12.000 They don't give a fuck. 0.99

00:09:13.000 They know you. 0.99

00:09:14.000 You've been in their house.

00:09:15.000 I had a guy come to me in the street and just go, Hey Dave, how you doing?

00:09:19.000 And I thought, Oh, I must know him.

00:09:20.000 So I said, Oh, I'm good.

00:09:21.000 How are you doing, man? 1.00

00:09:22.000 And his next line was, You don't even know me, you fucking phony. 1.00

00:09:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:09:28.000 Dave, that was me.

00:09:29.000 That was you?

00:09:30.000 I wish I was better at faces.

00:09:32.000 Was this in Canada?

00:09:32.000 This was in downtown LA. Really?

00:09:34.000 That's amazing. 1.00

00:09:35.000 You didn't even know me, you fucking phony. 1.00

00:09:36.000 I'm just trying to be nice, sir. 1.00

00:09:38.000 Was he a drunk?

00:09:40.000 Nope.

00:09:40.000 Wow.

00:09:40.000 It was a guy who just, I'm going to go pretend I know him, just watch this.

00:09:44.000 Wow.

00:09:44.000 Was that the end of the conversation?

00:09:45.000 Yeah, that was basically it.

00:09:46.000 Wow.

00:09:47.000 Yeah.

00:09:47.000 What a rude person.

00:09:48.000 That's a terrible conversation.

00:09:50.000 Probably a guy who auditioned for news radio in 96 and just never gotten over it. 1.00

00:09:54.000 That fucking cunt. 1.00

00:09:56.000 He's the one. 1.00

00:09:57.000 He's the one.

00:09:59.000 I was on my way to stardom.

00:10:02.000 And to be fair, it was me.

00:10:04.000 I tripped him up.

00:10:06.000 Are you still doing that show with Dr. Ken?

00:10:10.000 No, we stopped when they cancelled it.

00:10:12.000 Oh, that's always a good move.

00:10:14.000 Yeah, not right away.

00:10:15.000 It's several months in.

00:10:17.000 To be fair, you kept doing the show after it was cancelled, right?

00:10:19.000 Was it called The Doctors?

00:10:21.000 Is that what it's called?

00:10:22.000 No, that's the other one.

00:10:24.000 That's a real one.

00:10:25.000 Dr. Oz, right?

00:10:26.000 I can't remember.

00:10:26.000 What was the name of it again?

00:10:27.000 I mean, we can still call Dr. Oz a real doctor, right?

00:10:29.000 I don't think so.

00:10:30.000 Is he as far gone as Drew? 0.81

00:10:32.000 Once you've been pushed in front of Congress, and they question you on your weight loss claims, Yeah, he's a charlatan.

00:10:40.000 That had a crazy title or something, wasn't it?

00:10:42.000 Dr. Ken.

00:10:43.000 That was it.

00:10:44.000 Dr. Ken, yeah.

00:10:45.000 He just did a Netflix special.

00:10:47.000 He did.

00:10:47.000 He's back doing stand-up.

00:10:49.000 Yeah, he's one of the sweetest guys on the planet Earth.

00:10:51.000 He is a nice man.

00:10:52.000 Very, very nice guy.

00:10:53.000 And he's got a lovely family.

00:10:56.000 Yeah, super good guy.

00:10:58.000 Are you still doing the acting thing?

00:11:00.000 Are you enjoying it?

00:11:01.000 Off and on.

00:11:03.000 You know, enjoying is a difficult concept.

00:11:06.000 That was the take I had on it with you back in 94. It's a better job than most.

00:11:16.000 Yes.

00:11:17.000 I like that.

00:11:20.000 When you're doing something you like, there's a certain satisfaction.

00:11:23.000 But even then, even when we were doing news radio, you don't get to enjoy it because you're so focused on whatever the flaws are while you're making it.

00:11:31.000 Right, right, right.

00:11:32.000 Yeah, you get to enjoy it during the wrap party.

00:11:35.000 Yeah, or 20 years later.

00:11:37.000 Right, yeah.

00:11:38.000 Yeah.

00:11:39.000 Yeah.

00:11:40.000 Occasionally someone will send me a clip online.

00:11:42.000 It's so strange to watch.

00:11:45.000 It's so strange when you're watching yourself from 20 plus years ago say something you don't remember saying.

00:11:51.000 Yeah.

00:11:51.000 And then you watch like, wow, I don't even remember that episode at all.

00:11:54.000 Yeah.

00:11:55.000 I don't remember most.

00:11:56.000 I never watched.

00:11:57.000 I think I only watched about six episodes.

00:11:59.000 Wow.

00:11:59.000 Of news radio.

00:12:00.000 Yeah.

00:12:01.000 And I love the show.

00:12:02.000 Yeah.

00:12:02.000 But you knew it.

00:12:03.000 I didn't want to watch it.

00:12:04.000 You were there when it happened.

00:12:07.000 Yeah, all I'd be doing is nitpicking the editing.

00:12:10.000 Right, right, right.

00:12:11.000 Yeah, it's a strange thing to look back.

00:12:15.000 When you go back, you know, 20 plus years and think of all the scenes, all the writing, all the work, and now it's just sort of, now, that's the other thing we never anticipated, that it would be floating around the internet.

00:12:28.000 Yeah.

00:12:29.000 You know?

00:12:29.000 Yeah.

00:12:29.000 YouTube clips.

00:12:31.000 Nothing goes away.

00:12:31.000 News radio is floating way out in the periphery of the internet.

00:12:34.000 Yeah, but you still get drawn in sometimes.

00:12:37.000 But shows like Friends, like the fact, you know, you have young kids.

00:12:42.000 Like my daughter's 15. She's watched every episode of Friends at least twice.

00:12:47.000 Wow.

00:12:48.000 That's 10 years of shows.

00:12:49.000 And it's not just her, it's every 15-year-old in the country.

00:12:52.000 Yeah.

00:12:54.000 And it's like that that, you know, is coming back and is significant to these kids now.

00:12:59.000 Well, what's fascinating is I don't think those shows are being made anymore.

00:13:02.000 No.

00:13:03.000 Not like that.

00:13:05.000 I mean, there's the Chuck Lorre type shows that I watch and I go, I'm missing a gene.

00:13:10.000 Why is everyone laughing so hard?

00:13:13.000 Have you ever seen those without the laugh track?

00:13:15.000 No.

00:13:16.000 I can imagine what that must be like.

00:13:18.000 They've taken some of those shows.

00:13:19.000 I've seen the Big Bang Theory.

00:13:20.000 I would like to see that.

00:13:21.000 They've removed the laugh track and you watch it with just the actor saying the words.

00:13:25.000 And it's like...

00:13:26.000 Has anything funny ever happened on it?

00:13:27.000 Well, it's just...

00:13:28.000 It's strange.

00:13:29.000 It's like you're watching...

00:13:33.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:13:35.000 It's illogical.

00:13:36.000 Yeah, and that place people get in their heads where they just go, it'll be fine.

00:13:41.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:13:42.000 I mean, news radio, if we did a scene and it didn't get a laugh, we rewrote the whole scene.

00:13:47.000 Yeah, literally.

00:13:48.000 With the audience there.

00:13:50.000 Well, I think the term good enough is perfect for comedy.

00:13:53.000 Eh, it's good enough.

00:13:55.000 People are kind of chuckling.

00:13:56.000 Once you get a certain number of characters that you can get to interact with each other in predictable ways on those shows, then they just sort of have them have these little scenes and have different inflections and different...

00:14:10.000 He stumbles, and they make a show out of it.

00:14:13.000 And for the audience, I think it just becomes comfort.

00:14:14.000 Yes, familiarity. 1.00

00:14:16.000 I maintain that's what drove Charlie Sheen crazy, is doing that goddamn show. 0.99

00:14:21.000 Yeah, he did for a long time. 0.99

00:14:23.000 For a long time.

00:14:24.000 I think that's what drove him to the edge. 0.95

00:14:25.000 I think he was always crazy.

00:14:27.000 But I think when you do a show that you don't enjoy doing, or that you don't... 0.99

00:14:30.000 Look, the guy was in fucking Platoon, right? 0.61

00:14:33.000 I mean, he was in some amazing films. 0.98

00:14:36.000 To be fair, he wasn't very funny in that.

00:14:37.000 No.

00:14:38.000 No, he wasn't.

00:14:39.000 It was really kind of a bummer.

00:14:41.000 Yeah.

00:14:41.000 They should have taken that as a warning.

00:14:43.000 Yeah, they should take that comedy label off that.

00:14:45.000 That should stop ending up in all those comedy lists.

00:14:48.000 He was in Wall Street.

00:14:48.000 I mean, he was in some giant, excellent movies.

00:14:52.000 And then he's on this show that doesn't really make sense.

00:14:56.000 Yeah.

00:14:56.000 And he's really talented.

00:14:57.000 Yeah.

00:14:58.000 Like, he's a really, really talented actor.

00:15:00.000 Yeah.

00:15:00.000 And really funny.

00:15:02.000 As an actor.

00:15:03.000 Amazing timing.

00:15:04.000 What was the Zucker Brothers franchise?

00:15:09.000 Hot Shots.

00:15:10.000 Yes.

00:15:10.000 Oh, yeah.

00:15:11.000 He's hot shots.

00:15:12.000 He was funny in Hot Shots.

00:15:14.000 They don't make those kind of movies anymore.

00:15:17.000 Nobody does jokes anymore.

00:15:19.000 It doesn't sing.

00:15:20.000 No.

00:15:21.000 You can't do jokes.

00:15:22.000 Effort is frowned upon.

00:15:24.000 Right.

00:15:24.000 I think.

00:15:25.000 You have to be lazy.

00:15:26.000 Well, comedy movies are...

00:15:28.000 You know, there's still comedy movies, right?

00:15:30.000 There's like...

00:15:31.000 The Judd Apatow type films, they still make comedy movies, but it seems like there's not as many anymore.

00:15:41.000 Or maybe I just don't go out as much.

00:15:43.000 There's a little bit of that too.

00:15:44.000 But it's also like the subject matter is so dangerous now.

00:15:47.000 Like everything that used to be funny.

00:15:49.000 I watched Ace Ventura, Pet Detective, with my kids.

00:15:52.000 And I did not remember how transphobic that movie is.

00:15:56.000 Like the whole movie is one gigantic trans joke. 1.00

00:16:00.000 Trans joke. 1.00

00:16:00.000 Yeah, that's true. 1.00

00:16:01.000 At the end of it.

00:16:03.000 I don't know if I've ever seen it.

00:16:04.000 Dude, at the end of it, I'm like, whoa, I forgot.

00:16:07.000 This is crazy.

00:16:08.000 Like...

00:16:08.000 The men, when they find out she's a girl, they're throwing up.

00:16:11.000 Or that she's a boy, rather.

00:16:14.000 They're throwing up.

00:16:15.000 Wasn't the brushing teeth?

00:16:15.000 Yes.

00:16:16.000 Yeah, they're scrubbing their mouth out.

00:16:17.000 Everyone's vomiting.

00:16:20.000 You would be skewered if you did that today. 0.86

00:16:23.000 You'd be finished. 0.79

00:16:24.000 Yeah.

00:16:24.000 You'd be done.

00:16:24.000 And they stole that whole joke from The Crying Game.

00:16:27.000 That's true.

00:16:28.000 Which is one of the funniest movies I've ever seen.

00:16:30.000 Wait a minute.

00:16:30.000 Which one came first?

00:16:31.000 I don't know anymore.

00:16:32.000 Imagine if The Crying Game did a serious version of Ace Ventura.

00:16:36.000 They're like, I have an idea.

00:16:38.000 Yeah.

00:16:40.000 I forgot about The Crying Game. 0.99

00:16:42.000 The whole ass-talking scene would be totally different.

00:16:44.000 I remember watching The Crying Game and I heard this big surprise twist. 0.99

00:16:51.000 I bet what happens is that the transvestite turns out to be an IRA spy. 0.98

00:17:00.000 Because you were already two steps ahead. 0.75

00:17:03.000 I forgot that movie.

00:17:06.000 So how long have you guys been doing this podcast?

00:17:09.000 Just before Christmas?

00:17:11.000 Not that long.

00:17:14.000 We've known each other.

00:17:16.000 We've known each other a long time.

00:17:17.000 30 years, I guess.

00:17:18.000 What motivated it?

00:17:19.000 Our wives. 1.00

00:17:20.000 Did they say, get the fuck out of here? 0.99

00:17:21.000 Yeah, they wanted us out of the house, pretty much. 0.98

00:17:24.000 They said, can you go do something somewhere else?

00:17:27.000 And they're actually on the podcast with us.

00:17:31.000 Chrissy, my wife, produces it and puts it all together.

00:17:35.000 Jackie Harris, my wife.

00:17:36.000 Makes it super hard to fire her. 1.00

00:17:38.000 It is.

00:17:39.000 Well...

00:17:39.000 We're the ones who will get fired.

00:17:41.000 Oh, man.

00:17:42.000 Well, she fired me once.

00:17:43.000 That's true.

00:17:44.000 For 10 years, right?

00:17:46.000 Yeah, but Chrissy and I, we separated for 10 years.

00:17:48.000 Well, actually, the last time I saw you was during that separation.

00:17:53.000 Yeah.

00:17:55.000 So you got back together.

00:17:56.000 We got back together.

00:17:56.000 Well, that's nice.

00:17:57.000 She's cool.

00:17:58.000 Yeah, Chrissy's great. 1.00

00:17:59.000 I remember running into her at a Satan thing, that satanic fucking thing. 1.00

00:18:04.000 Oh, right. 0.99

00:18:05.000 Yeah, Duncan Trussell, my good friend, was performing at, is it Stanton LaVey's grandson or something?

00:18:12.000 Anton LaVey's grandson?

00:18:13.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:15.000 And they were getting married at this fucking crazy theater, and your wife was dressed as like a devil or some shit. 1.00

00:18:23.000 Yeah, some sort of god. 0.99

00:18:24.000 She was like dancing there, and I'm like, oh, hi, how are you?

00:18:26.000 What are you doing here?

00:18:27.000 Like, you're a normal person.

00:18:29.000 Why are you here?

00:18:30.000 But there's a picture of me with Anton LaVey that knuckleheads to this day use as evidence that I'm a Satan worshiper.

00:18:39.000 Oh, yeah.

00:18:39.000 That's...

00:18:40.000 You're merely an associate. 0.99

00:18:42.000 You are a Satan associate. 0.99

00:18:44.000 I'm Satan adjacent. 0.93

00:18:45.000 I think that's what they say now.

00:18:47.000 And that's fanboy.

00:18:49.000 I love that that comes...

00:18:51.000 That's something people still worry about.

00:18:54.000 There you are.

00:18:55.000 Oh my god, yeah, that's good.

00:18:57.000 That's me in a, I think that's Hank Williams III's shirt that I'm wearing there.

00:19:03.000 It's hard to tell.

00:19:05.000 That's the thing.

00:19:05.000 The fact that people still worry about Satan is just, I mean, you want to just say, calm down.

00:19:12.000 He's not a problem because he doesn't exist just like your God.

00:19:16.000 Oh, how dare you.

00:19:17.000 There's people listening right now that just took their earphones off and threw them across the room.

00:19:20.000 Yeah, well, they're going to have to get new earphones. 0.99

00:19:22.000 I could hear cunt for 30 times. 1.00

00:19:24.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:19:24.000 They prefer cunt to that. 1.00

00:19:26.000 Son of a bitch. 1.00

00:19:27.000 You could say cunt as much as you want, just never that. 1.00

00:19:29.000 You know, whether or not God exists is a fascinating point of discussion, but what's interesting is this agreement that people say when they decide that God exists, and you decide that God exists, and I decide that God exists, so we both have agreed that there's this weird thing that makes no sense that we're on board with, 0.96

00:19:48.000 so I know where you stand on a lot of issues.

00:19:51.000 I probably know where you stand on abortion. 1.00

00:19:53.000 I probably know where you stand on guns.

00:19:55.000 I probably know where you stand on climate change.

00:19:58.000 It's a weird little thing that you do when you say, well, I'm a God-fearing Christian.

00:20:04.000 Oh, me too.

00:20:04.000 Okay, now I can predict you better.

00:20:07.000 It's like you're all wearing the same decoder ring.

00:20:10.000 Yes, yes.

00:20:11.000 That is what a lot of it is.

00:20:13.000 Whether or not you believe in God or not.

00:20:16.000 It's the saying that God's real and the worshiping God and the talking about God is just letting everybody know that they can predict you.

00:20:24.000 If you're a gentleman, you're wearing a tie with a nice suit on and a pair of pants, I can fairly likely predict that you're going to be reasonably behaved.

00:20:36.000 Yeah.

00:20:37.000 You're a gentleman.

00:20:38.000 You know, if you're a Christian, if you're a person who calls himself a Christian and, you know, well, we go to church every Sunday and I like to read the Bible and I am a Christian, and people automatically go, oh, okay, I kind of know where you're coming from.

00:20:50.000 I can see where you are.

00:20:52.000 And now I like that you can predict me because you'll like me better.

00:20:56.000 We don't have to talk about it.

00:20:58.000 You just know all that.

00:20:58.000 Yeah, I'll reinforce those patterns in your head, and I'll say some things that I've repeated things that I've heard other people say about God and Jesus and...

00:21:09.000 Yeah.

00:21:09.000 And it's a nice way to kill time.

00:21:11.000 It's not a bad way.

00:21:12.000 You know, believing in God and going to church.

00:21:14.000 It's a great way.

00:21:15.000 You kill time until death nullifies all meaning.

00:21:17.000 Well, I think the community thing of it is a good thing.

00:21:20.000 Yeah.

00:21:20.000 I think there's some really powerful bonding experiences that people have when they agree to be humble together.

00:21:28.000 Yeah.

00:21:29.000 You're describing curling.

00:21:31.000 Curling.

00:21:32.000 Curling, another great Canadian thing.

00:21:34.000 That's a sport.

00:21:35.000 There's two C words in Canada that are very popular.

00:21:39.000 Cunt and curling. 0.95

00:21:39.000 Yeah, that's right. 0.95

00:21:40.000 And there's no way...

00:21:41.000 Cunt's curling is one of the top TV shows. 0.98

00:21:43.000 You cannot rise to the tops of curling without humbling yourself.

00:21:47.000 Because you humble yourself the minute you say...

00:21:49.000 I'm going to go curling.

00:21:50.000 Right.

00:21:50.000 When you pick up that brush with a big smile on your face, you decide to sweep ice.

00:21:54.000 I've tried curling, man.

00:21:55.000 It's not easy.

00:21:56.000 No.

00:21:56.000 It's hard.

00:21:56.000 Which still doesn't make it a sport.

00:21:58.000 I made fun of it in Newfoundland, and they fucking got so mad at me. 0.97

00:22:02.000 Oh, yeah. 0.98

00:22:02.000 Don't make fun of curling, man. 0.98

00:22:03.000 The arena, the theater where I was at, I had these pictures of curlers on the wall, and I just could not stop shitting on them. 0.99

00:22:09.000 Did you get booed? 0.98

00:22:10.000 They were like, hey!

00:22:11.000 Hey! 0.99

00:22:12.000 They were legitimately upset.

00:22:14.000 I'm like, it is a proposition.

00:22:16.000 You know it and I know it.

00:22:17.000 You're sliding a rock on the ice.

00:22:19.000 It used to be a reason to drink.

00:22:21.000 That's what curling was, where everybody would get together and get wasted.

00:22:24.000 And you don't fall very far on the ice because you're already squatting.

00:22:28.000 And the other people are leaning against brooms.

00:22:31.000 That's right.

00:22:31.000 You've got a broom to lean against.

00:22:32.000 It's great for drinking.

00:22:34.000 It's also like when you fall on ice, it's almost always funny.

00:22:37.000 Always.

00:22:37.000 It's never funny.

00:22:38.000 No one kind of catches himself.

00:22:41.000 You don't gently fall.

00:22:43.000 Trying to get up is good, too.

00:22:44.000 You don't fall elegantly on ice.

00:22:46.000 You can go hiking and slip a little and catch yourself.

00:22:49.000 But even when you're watching the NHL and you'll see players that will just fall down for no reason.

00:22:55.000 It's hilarious.

00:22:56.000 These are the best Gators in the world and they're just going to fall down. 1.00

00:22:58.000 That guy just fell on his ass. 1.00

00:22:59.000 He's a professional athlete. 1.00

00:23:02.000 If I ran ahead with a Volkswagen, I couldn't knock him over.

00:23:06.000 But he just fell.

00:23:08.000 How long has curling been around?

00:23:10.000 Hundreds and hundreds.

00:23:11.000 It's a Scottish sport.

00:23:12.000 It's a Scottish sport where they used to use actual rocks they'd find in fields.

00:23:16.000 And played on frozen lakes.

00:23:18.000 Because that's the only kind they have in Scotland.

00:23:21.000 Our frozen ones.

00:23:23.000 How's that Loch Ness Monster getting around?

00:23:25.000 He's a wonderful curler.

00:23:27.000 David, are you Scottish, I believe?

00:23:29.000 I'm from...

00:23:29.000 Yeah, I've got the...

00:23:30.000 My wife is also part Scottish.

00:23:32.000 I mean, there's a lot of Scottish people in Canada.

00:23:34.000 So you can see why curling would be popular.

00:23:37.000 Yeah, very, very Scottish country, Canada.

00:23:39.000 It's strange.

00:23:40.000 That's why there's so many gourds and crags.

00:23:43.000 Gord, eh?

00:23:44.000 Gord Johnson.

00:23:45.000 Oh, Gordy.

00:23:46.000 Oh, that's right.

00:23:47.000 That would be a Scottish word, right?

00:23:48.000 Scottish, yeah.

00:23:49.000 Gordon.

00:23:50.000 Yeah, and of course, because of Gordie Howe, everyone named their kids Gord in the 60s.

00:23:54.000 I went to school with a guy named Gregor.

00:23:55.000 I mean, that was his first name.

00:23:57.000 Gregor?

00:23:58.000 Gregor.

00:23:58.000 I know a guy named Gregor.

00:23:59.000 Gregor Gillespie fights in the UFC. Okay.

00:24:02.000 He's an animal.

00:24:04.000 Different kind of Gregor, probably. 0.98

00:24:06.000 Yeah, it's a savage.

00:24:07.000 Can I just give one interesting UFC memory for me?

00:24:10.000 Please.

00:24:11.000 I watched the very first UFC 1 with, I had a troop at the time and we invited- A Boy Scout troop?

00:24:19.000 It wasn't, it was a comedy troop.

00:24:21.000 We dressed as Boy Scouts.

00:24:22.000 But we invited Neil Patrick Harris over, who was 20 years old at the time he was in town.

00:24:27.000 We just met him.

00:24:28.000 And he came over, and as soon as the sumo wrestler got his face kicked in and spit a tooth out, I believe, he was like, I'm out of here!

00:24:37.000 I gotta get out!

00:24:38.000 And we made him stay and watch the whole thing.

00:24:42.000 Good for you. 0.99

00:24:43.000 And that's what made him gay. 0.98

00:24:45.000 Well, thanks for ruining the story, Dave. 0.92

00:24:47.000 I don't know if that's true.

00:24:48.000 I don't know if it works like that.

00:24:49.000 Something happened.

00:24:50.000 Yeah, maybe someone dropped him on his head.

00:24:52.000 Yeah.

00:24:54.000 I don't think he knows.

00:24:55.000 He looked like he was alright as a kid.

00:24:59.000 Something went wrong.

00:25:00.000 Or right.

00:25:01.000 Depending on if you're his boyfriend.

00:25:03.000 Yeah.

00:25:03.000 Imagine?

00:25:04.000 It depends if he's a good boyfriend, really.

00:25:06.000 Yeah.

00:25:06.000 Well, I guess.

00:25:07.000 But, I mean, if the boyfriend is really into him.

00:25:08.000 Husband.

00:25:09.000 Yeah.

00:25:09.000 If that guy's really into him, I'd be like, thank God you watched that fight that time.

00:25:12.000 Yeah.

00:25:13.000 God, thank God. 0.95

00:25:14.000 Otherwise, you could have wasted your time with some chick. 1.00

00:25:17.000 Who knows what could happen? 1.00

00:25:18.000 Making babies and shit. 1.00

00:25:19.000 Oh, God. 1.00

00:25:23.000 So did you have to get remarried? 1.00

00:25:24.000 Or did you just pretend you never got divorced?

00:25:27.000 Chrissy and I never got around to getting divorced because we're bad at paperwork.

00:25:30.000 Beautiful.

00:25:31.000 Yeah, so we separated.

00:25:33.000 We actually filed for divorce once but screwed up the paperwork somehow.

00:25:37.000 Is that true?

00:25:37.000 Yeah.

00:25:38.000 And then we just never got around to it again.

00:25:43.000 You just didn't fix it and refile it?

00:25:45.000 Yeah, I'm not good with organizing.

00:25:49.000 So we were just separated for, you know, for a long time.

00:25:52.000 It's funny because Chrissy's very organized.

00:25:54.000 She is, yeah.

00:25:55.000 Seems like maybe...

00:25:56.000 Same with Jackie. 0.72

00:25:57.000 Jackie's very organized.

00:25:57.000 Maybe she's the one who wasn't willing to let go.

00:26:00.000 Oh, you know?

00:26:01.000 She was telling you something.

00:26:03.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:26:03.000 She was telling you something, Dave.

00:26:05.000 Clearly, yeah.

00:26:08.000 We used to go on vacation with them when they were divorced.

00:26:13.000 They would go together.

00:26:15.000 Yeah, we did all our family trips together.

00:26:16.000 They did all family trips.

00:26:17.000 They weren't together.

00:26:18.000 Well, the first two years, we didn't do much together.

00:26:21.000 No, the dark years.

00:26:23.000 The dark years.

00:26:25.000 But then, yeah, that's why we kept doing all of our family trips together.

00:26:29.000 We go to Hawaii.

00:26:29.000 It's like they were still married.

00:26:30.000 All of us.

00:26:31.000 And so when we finally did get back together, it was really just so...

00:26:35.000 It was mostly about the convenience of our friends.

00:26:38.000 It was just like, you know, this is going to make everyone else's life easier.

00:26:42.000 Really?

00:26:43.000 Yeah, because they don't, you know...

00:26:44.000 Well, we didn't have to go to two houses.

00:26:46.000 Yeah.

00:26:47.000 Which I hated.

00:26:48.000 That's so Canadian of you.

00:26:49.000 Yeah.

00:26:50.000 So polite.

00:26:50.000 That's what a Canadian does.

00:26:52.000 He's...

00:26:54.000 Doesn't get divorced.

00:26:55.000 How long have you been married now?

00:26:58.000 Ten years.

00:26:59.000 That's the only time you've ever been married.

00:27:01.000 Thank God.

00:27:01.000 Thank the baby Jesus.

00:27:02.000 Oh my God, yes.

00:27:04.000 Praise Jesus.

00:27:06.000 Stunned that it's working.

00:27:08.000 Yeah, it's great.

00:27:09.000 If it works, it's great.

00:27:11.000 I always tell people don't do it.

00:27:12.000 It's too risky.

00:27:13.000 Yeah.

00:27:14.000 50% of the people don't make it.

00:27:16.000 Yeah, it's not a good rate of success.

00:27:20.000 Would you drive a car if you knew that 50% likely you would die in a crash?

00:27:24.000 Right.

00:27:25.000 Yeah.

00:27:26.000 I mean, it was an institution that made sense when you're only going to live to be 40. Well, it makes sense.

00:27:31.000 There's some parts of it that make sense.

00:27:33.000 The problem is that it's become a business.

00:27:35.000 And it's become a business for people to try to squeeze his...

00:27:37.000 Like, I'll never forget trying to talk Phil into getting divorced.

00:27:41.000 Yeah.

00:27:41.000 I go, just give her half.

00:27:42.000 And he goes, it's not half.

00:27:44.000 It's two-thirds.

00:27:45.000 It's a scam. 1.00

00:27:46.000 The fucking lawyers get a third. 1.00

00:27:48.000 They give away two-thirds. 1.00

00:27:49.000 I mean, he was fucking freaking out about it. 0.97

00:27:52.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:27:52.000 And it's true. 0.98

00:27:53.000 And he could have lived nicely on that third.

00:27:54.000 He should have given her that...

00:27:56.000 I don't think that, I mean, the word was that that's why she killed him, that he was leaving, that he was finally leaving, and then that's when she killed him.

00:28:06.000 But when we were together with him, there was always days where he would come to the set and just be just in hell.

00:28:14.000 Oh, yeah, well, yeah, and he wouldn't, well, he'd just be on the floor of the studio, like, ranting about, you know, I'm living in my boat.

00:28:24.000 Yeah, he lived in his boat.

00:28:25.000 Yeah.

00:28:26.000 It was rough, man.

00:28:27.000 Yeah.

00:28:28.000 And then you would come back like a day later and it'd be, I'm back together with my blushing bride.

00:28:32.000 That's the exact quote.

00:28:33.000 Yeah.

00:28:34.000 That's the exact quote.

00:28:35.000 And we'd all just be going, oh, this isn't... 1.00

00:28:38.000 Yeah, it was poor bastard. 0.96

00:28:39.000 Although none of... 0.99

00:28:40.000 The weird thing in Israel, there was not one good marriage on the show.

00:28:44.000 Yeah.

00:28:45.000 Like everyone was going through a terrible marriage at the time.

00:28:49.000 I was proud that I was one person who wasn't on antidepressants.

00:28:53.000 Super psyched about that.

00:28:54.000 I wasn't on any pills and I wasn't in therapy.

00:28:56.000 But I probably needed it.

00:28:59.000 I think we all did.

00:29:01.000 But yeah, I mean, I remember when we started, I think it was the second season we came back and Steve Root had gotten divorced.

00:29:07.000 Yeah.

00:29:07.000 And he was the first one to get divorced.

00:29:09.000 I mean, I think everyone figured it would be me or Phil would get divorced first.

00:29:14.000 Not Steven.

00:29:14.000 And then Maura.

00:29:16.000 Right.

00:29:16.000 But Steve, yeah, we didn't know how bad it was for Steve, I guess.

00:29:20.000 It's hard out there.

00:29:21.000 It's hard to make it.

00:29:24.000 Hard for people to stay together, be nice to each other.

00:29:27.000 Yeah.

00:29:29.000 They say it takes work, but it actually takes work.

00:29:32.000 Yeah.

00:29:32.000 It does take work.

00:29:33.000 You waited until you were an adult, too, which is good.

00:29:36.000 It's a good move.

00:29:36.000 Yeah.

00:29:37.000 Most people get married before they're adults.

00:29:39.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:29:39.000 Yeah, I think you should wait until you know who the fuck you are. 1.00

00:29:41.000 And still, I'm still guessing. 1.00

00:29:43.000 Even to this day, I'm guessing who I am.

00:29:45.000 Literally, my dad, almost on his deathbed, told me, Don't do it.

00:29:50.000 You can't get married until you're 30. That's a good move. 0.75

00:29:53.000 That's a good dad.

00:29:54.000 I didn't.

00:29:55.000 I got married at 30. But he was like, don't do it.

00:29:59.000 Don't do it before 30. Because you don't know who you are.

00:30:02.000 You don't know what's going on.

00:30:04.000 Well, I've seen too many predatory marriages. 1.00

00:30:07.000 I've seen women marry men that don't really like because they know the man has money, and I've seen the opposite.

00:30:13.000 It's just such a weird thing when you enter into contractual agreement about romance.

00:30:19.000 It's not just, I love you, you love me.

00:30:22.000 Let's have a celebration of our love and let's invite our friends over and tell everybody we've decided to engage each other in this very special commitment.

00:30:33.000 But then you start bringing in lawyers.

00:30:35.000 Yeah.

00:30:36.000 Right.

00:30:36.000 And then it gets weird.

00:30:37.000 And then, you know, you have weird state-by-state laws where there's common law marriages if you live with someone for 10 years.

00:30:47.000 Yeah.

00:30:48.000 That might have been where humanity went wrong was when the first guys said, I'm going to be a lawyer.

00:30:54.000 Like, that was his decision.

00:30:55.000 I'm looking around and I think, yeah, there's a lot of ugliness in the world.

00:30:59.000 Yeah, when was the first lawyer?

00:31:01.000 What was the first lawyer?

00:31:02.000 There's a series of laws, right?

00:31:04.000 The first lawyers had to have been priests, right?

00:31:07.000 I would guess so, yeah.

00:31:08.000 Yeah, I mean, the laws initially were basically lawyers, right?

00:31:12.000 What is the Pharisees? 0.56

00:31:13.000 The Jewish priests.

00:31:14.000 Oh, okay.

00:31:15.000 Makes sense.

00:31:16.000 That does make a lot of sense.

00:31:18.000 Yeah.

00:31:19.000 Probably a lot of my relatives.

00:31:21.000 Yeah.

00:31:21.000 When did it become a thing where you would go to law school and it was a respectable occupation and it would be good to know a good lawyer?

00:31:33.000 Yeah.

00:31:34.000 I think those things started out as not respectable, and people did them because they didn't have any other choice.

00:31:44.000 And then they realized, oh, they're making all the money, you know?

00:31:48.000 And then it became respectable.

00:31:49.000 Well, once they figured out there's all these legalese and loopholes in the system, there's ways to extract money.

00:31:57.000 You just got to be Weasley about it.

00:31:59.000 And then they invent a whole language to exclude anyone else from understanding it.

00:32:03.000 Yeah.

00:32:03.000 Do you think they billed hourly back then, still?

00:32:06.000 Yeah, but then again, time hadn't been codified.

00:32:09.000 Oh, so what did they bill by?

00:32:10.000 An hour was basically decided by community standards.

00:32:13.000 When was time codified?

00:32:15.000 When the railroads came in.

00:32:18.000 Is that true?

00:32:20.000 Well, that's when time zones were created.

00:32:22.000 Time zones were created by the railroads.

00:32:24.000 So everybody was on a different time zone until then?

00:32:26.000 Every town set its own time.

00:32:30.000 You could drive from Denver to Fort Collins and the two cities would be in completely different times.

00:32:38.000 Wow.

00:32:38.000 And how you sync up your watch with the town clock?

00:32:41.000 Yeah.

00:32:41.000 You have the clock in the main square, and that would be the time.

00:32:44.000 Your pocket watch?

00:32:44.000 That's the time.

00:32:44.000 But when they started having to schedule railroads, they realized, well, all these towns...

00:32:49.000 And then they started having huge competitions to invent ways of synchronizing clocks between cities.

00:32:56.000 So did they use a sundial to get the initial reading?

00:32:59.000 I think it really was just as simple as, we'll call this midnight.

00:33:04.000 Or we'll call this noon, you know, and then they just went from there.

00:33:07.000 And none of the clocks were that accurate, so time would shift over time.

00:33:11.000 So it became, that was like in, like the 19th century was a huge move to try and find a way to synchronize clocks.

00:33:19.000 And that drove, kind of drove a lot of the beginnings of technology.

00:33:23.000 Do you remember when you were a kid, you would call a phone number to get the time?

00:33:27.000 Always.

00:33:27.000 Yes.

00:33:28.000 For sure.

00:33:28.000 The exact time.

00:33:30.000 The weather as well sometimes.

00:33:31.000 Yeah, but the time they give you...

00:33:32.000 The time is exactly...

00:33:34.000 Yeah.

00:33:34.000 4.59 in 35 seconds.

00:33:37.000 Well, and in Canada, at 1 o'clock every day, they had the national time tone, right?

00:33:44.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:45.000 At the succession of the long beep, it will be exactly 1 p.m.

00:33:48.000 It was on TV. On radio and TV. Why 1 p.m.?

00:33:50.000 I don't know why.

00:33:51.000 Yeah.

00:33:51.000 But that's when they would do it.

00:33:53.000 At 1 p.m.

00:33:53.000 every day, the CBC would broadcast a tone.

00:33:56.000 Yeah.

00:33:57.000 And that was the time for the whole country.

00:34:00.000 Wow.

00:34:00.000 I never would have guessed that time zones are created by the railroads.

00:34:04.000 Yeah.

00:34:05.000 But it totally makes sense.

00:34:06.000 You can't have a schedule without everybody on the same time, right?

00:34:09.000 Because before that, nobody went anywhere.

00:34:11.000 You know Arizona still doesn't do daylight savings time? 1.00

00:34:14.000 They're like, fuck you. 1.00

00:34:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:16.000 That's stupid. 1.00

00:34:17.000 They're allowed to do that? 1.00

00:34:18.000 Yep.

00:34:19.000 Yep.

00:34:19.000 Wow.

00:34:20.000 If you drive from Nevada to Arizona...

00:34:25.000 You miss an hour.

00:34:26.000 They aren't the only state.

00:34:27.000 Isn't there another state that doesn't...

00:34:28.000 I wonder.

00:34:29.000 Hawaii doesn't... 0.99

00:34:31.000 Hawaii?

00:34:31.000 Good for them!

00:34:33.000 Hawaii gets to do what they want. 0.93

00:34:35.000 They're an island.

00:34:36.000 We stole Hawaii. 0.86

00:34:37.000 That's right.

00:34:38.000 That island is theirs. 1.00

00:34:40.000 That's a fucking country that we occupy with hotels. 1.00

00:34:43.000 You feel it when you're there. 1.00

00:34:44.000 Yes!

00:34:45.000 It's got its own feeling.

00:34:46.000 The rest of it was given to us by God.

00:34:48.000 Yes.

00:34:48.000 That's true.

00:34:49.000 It's Manifest Destiny, correct?

00:34:50.000 Yes.

00:34:50.000 The rest of it.

00:34:51.000 But not Hawaii.

00:34:52.000 No.

00:34:52.000 Because that came, that's late.

00:34:54.000 That was late in the game.

00:34:55.000 Well, there's no single, like, there's no state where the people are so clearly, like, their ethnicity is so clearly defined.

00:35:04.000 Yes.

00:35:04.000 Like, they're Polynesian looking.

00:35:05.000 Yeah.

00:35:06.000 Totally.

00:35:06.000 They're a completely different culture.

00:35:08.000 It's not like North Dakota or fucking Florida or some shit. 1.00

00:35:12.000 It's like, they're a different thing. 0.99

00:35:13.000 They're not from the European, you know, heritage. 0.99

00:35:16.000 There's an interesting debate going on about what is...

00:35:20.000 California moves towards permanent daylight savings time.

00:35:23.000 Yes!

00:35:24.000 Does that mean every day we get to get up an hour early?

00:35:29.000 Yes, every day is earlier.

00:35:31.000 Earlier and earlier and earlier.

00:35:33.000 The majority of Arizona is on permanent standard time, and the year-round daylight savings time is followed by Hawaii and the territories of the American Samoa.

00:35:41.000 Oh, Guam.

00:35:42.000 And minor outlying islands.

00:35:45.000 Well, I say California, let's be really bold and go for permanent daylight.

00:35:51.000 Like in Alaska.

00:35:52.000 Like in Alaska, exactly.

00:35:54.000 Just give up on night.

00:35:56.000 Well, and then just everybody wants to kill themselves when it's nighttime now.

00:35:59.000 There's an interesting debate going on in Hawaii right now as to what is an invasive species.

00:36:05.000 Because so much of the wildlife in Hawaii was brought over.

00:36:11.000 And so there's some debate on certain islands where they want to eliminate the wild pigs because they say they're an invasive species.

00:36:18.000 And then the people are saying, but hold on, because we kind of came after a lot of these wild pigs.

00:36:25.000 Like a lot of the wild pigs were dropped off by pirates.

00:36:28.000 Like pirates and people that were in boating, that were traveling by boat across the world, they would drop off goats and pigs on various islands so they would have something to hunt when they would come back for food because they knew that this would be a stop along their route.

00:36:43.000 Which is clever.

00:36:45.000 It is clever, but it ruined a lot of islands, especially the goats.

00:36:48.000 It just destroyed a lot of islands.

00:36:50.000 And now there's, in Hawaii, there's a lot of mongoose.

00:36:54.000 Oh, really?

00:36:54.000 Yeah, they brought mongoose in at some point.

00:36:56.000 I forget what it was.

00:36:57.000 It was to control the rabbit population, or the rats.

00:36:59.000 I think it was to control the rats that came in, again, from shipping.

00:37:02.000 And then the mongoose probably started eating everything else.

00:37:04.000 And now the mongoose are just all over the place, yeah.

00:37:06.000 Mongoose?

00:37:06.000 Yeah.

00:37:07.000 I was on an Alaska holiday, and I made a joke about, you know, I'm looking for beavers, because I didn't think there were beavers in Alaska, because it's too cold.

00:37:15.000 They said, no.

00:37:16.000 The last ten years, we've got tons of beavers here because of global warming.

00:37:19.000 Really?

00:37:19.000 Beavers everywhere.

00:37:20.000 Yeah.

00:37:20.000 They're moving.

00:37:21.000 Yeah.

00:37:22.000 Beavers are migrating north.

00:37:23.000 Yeah.

00:37:24.000 Alaska's a fascinating place.

00:37:26.000 I've never been.

00:37:26.000 If you go there in the summer, you have never seen more aggressive mosquitoes.

00:37:32.000 It's like they know they only have two months to live.

00:37:35.000 Yeah.

00:37:35.000 And so, you get out of your car, they swarm you like a cloud.

00:37:38.000 It's crazy.

00:37:39.000 I've never seen anything like it in my life.

00:37:41.000 You would think tropical weather, that's where the mosquitoes are. 0.99

00:37:44.000 Yeah.

00:37:44.000 No, Alaska.

00:37:45.000 They're fucking ferocious, and they're huge. 0.99

00:37:48.000 Yeah, I'm actually going to go there in November, I think. 0.99

00:37:52.000 Oh yeah?

00:37:52.000 What are you doing?

00:37:52.000 Doing the touring with Who's Live Anyway.

00:37:56.000 It's like an improv tour.

00:37:58.000 So, who's live anyway?

00:38:00.000 Like a takeoff of whose line is it anyway?

00:38:03.000 Yeah, it's like Greg Proops and Jeff Davis from that show.

00:38:06.000 Oh, I love Greg.

00:38:07.000 Yeah, so Greg and Jeff and Joel Murray.

00:38:09.000 Okay, cool.

00:38:10.000 And me, I guess.

00:38:11.000 Joel Murray's Bill Murray's brother, right?

00:38:12.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:38:13.000 So it's like a rotating...

00:38:15.000 So those three guys are the core, and then there's Ryan Stiles, myself, Drew Carey, and...

00:38:21.000 And Chip Esten.

00:38:22.000 Sort of rotate through.

00:38:23.000 Oh, nice.

00:38:25.000 Drew Carey might be the nicest person that's ever lived.

00:38:27.000 I don't know him well.

00:38:28.000 He might be the nicest guy ever. 0.97

00:38:29.000 He's fucking so nice. 0.92

00:38:30.000 He put us out of work. 0.98

00:38:31.000 Did he?

00:38:32.000 Yeah, I remember it was the Drew Carey show that finally got NewsRadio cancelled.

00:38:35.000 Really?

00:38:35.000 I thought it was Phil getting murdered.

00:38:37.000 Nope.

00:38:37.000 Remember, we did a whole year after that.

00:38:39.000 Yeah, but I think that was what it was.

00:38:41.000 I don't think they wanted to do it anymore after that.

00:38:43.000 Yeah, but I think our ratings tanked when they put us up against Drew Carey. 1.00

00:38:47.000 Our ratings are always shit. 0.94

00:38:49.000 That's the most amazing thing is that the ratings were really great once we got canceled and then it was on TV like they would show the reruns and people go, oh, this is a funny show. 0.99

00:38:56.000 Yeah, they found it.

00:38:58.000 It's true.

00:38:58.000 I remember Lou Morton, one of our writers, he'd show up at the reed with a different number on his shirt every week when we were in the real shitter, when we were falling apart.

00:39:10.000 Number 98 out of 100 shows.

00:39:12.000 88 was one day. 0.85

00:39:14.000 No bullshit. 0.97

00:39:15.000 I go, is that real? 0.99

00:39:16.000 He's like, yeah.

00:39:16.000 Like, have the shirt made?

00:39:18.000 Yeah.

00:39:18.000 No, he would draw it.

00:39:20.000 Basically a sweatshirt with a marker on it.

00:39:21.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

00:39:22.000 He would just show up with this fucking number on his shirt. 1.00

00:39:25.000 And I was like, 88? 1.00

00:39:26.000 He's like, yeah.

00:39:27.000 It's a source of pride when you can still be hanging on.

00:39:30.000 The one year that I thought we weren't going to get canceled was the year we got canceled.

00:39:34.000 I was like, well, we're doing pretty good.

00:39:35.000 Yeah.

00:39:36.000 Well, actually, our ratings were alright.

00:39:38.000 Yeah.

00:39:38.000 It's a five-year show, right?

00:39:39.000 Five years?

00:39:40.000 Yeah.

00:39:40.000 But much like the whole, like, we never really hit 100 episodes.

00:39:45.000 We got to like 98. 97. 97?

00:39:47.000 97 because NBC didn't own it.

00:39:49.000 So they did that with a bunch of shows they didn't own.

00:39:51.000 They do that on purpose for that year?

00:39:53.000 Syndication?

00:39:53.000 About four or five shows they canceled at 97 episodes.

00:39:56.000 Really?

00:39:57.000 Yeah.

00:39:57.000 If it's a hundred, it goes into syndication, is that right?

00:40:01.000 It used to be the rule, yeah.

00:40:02.000 But now, syndication doesn't really exist anymore.

00:40:06.000 Well, the weirdest one was the Charlie Sheen model that they did with that anger management show, where they devised a whole new system.

00:40:12.000 90-10. 1.00

00:40:13.000 Yeah, if the first couple episodes do well, fuck it. 1.00

00:40:15.000 We order 100. Yes, and they produce them all in a year. 1.00

00:40:18.000 Yes, they just smashed them together.

00:40:21.000 They wrote it within five minutes and started filming.

00:40:24.000 They were filming and writing on the fly. 1.00

00:40:26.000 Everything was dog shit. 1.00

00:40:27.000 And Charlie makes an old load of money. 1.00

00:40:28.000 And they shot like four episodes a week.

00:40:30.000 They paid Charlie in crack.

00:40:32.000 They just pushed thousands of dollars worth of crack into his account.

00:40:36.000 Yeah.

00:40:37.000 They had one of those old-timey ice guys that used to deliver ice delivered the crack thing to his door.

00:40:43.000 Here's the thing they haven't solved.

00:40:45.000 You can't get crack out of an ATM machine yet.

00:40:47.000 No, not anymore.

00:40:48.000 You can get pot out of one now.

00:40:50.000 You can get pot out of a dispensary machine.

00:40:52.000 In California?

00:40:52.000 That's good.

00:40:53.000 I don't know where.

00:40:55.000 Find out where they are.

00:40:57.000 They do have marijuana dispensary machines.

00:41:01.000 You must have to show some sort of proof of age.

00:41:05.000 But I guess if you just have your...

00:41:07.000 If you have a passport...

00:41:08.000 Driver's license or something?

00:41:09.000 Yeah, a passport or a driver's license.

00:41:11.000 Like, if you can read a passport, they have a machine that reads a passport at the airport, you know, when you go through, if you have, like, global entry.

00:41:19.000 They got the face recognition thing, too.

00:41:21.000 I got the clear.

00:41:22.000 Yeah, I got that.

00:41:23.000 Fingerprint one.

00:41:24.000 That's nice, too.

00:41:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:41:25.000 Global Entry is the best, though, because you don't have to fuck with that giant line. 0.99

00:41:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:41:29.000 I should have got that. 0.99

00:41:30.000 I got the stupid TSA. Got it. 1.00

00:41:32.000 Global Entry is great because it comes with TSA Pre.

00:41:34.000 Yeah, I got the TSA. See, I'm getting angry again.

00:41:36.000 I got the Clear.

00:41:37.000 God, that makes me mad.

00:41:38.000 Yeah.

00:41:38.000 The ultimate combo is TSA, Pre, and Clear.

00:41:42.000 Yeah.

00:41:42.000 Because they just do the fingerprints, boom, and then they push you right into the line.

00:41:46.000 Sounds like venereal disease.

00:41:47.000 The nice people walk you.

00:41:49.000 They walk you all the way to...

00:41:50.000 TSA pre and clear.

00:41:51.000 Clear.

00:41:52.000 Not TSA pre, but clear.

00:41:54.000 The nice people walk you all the way over to the conveyor belt.

00:41:57.000 I want to be blocked.

00:41:57.000 Yeah.

00:41:58.000 And you can't...

00:41:59.000 And you can't...

00:41:59.000 You have the option of actually pissing on the people that you're passing.

00:42:02.000 Can you seriously do that?

00:42:03.000 You piss on their feet because they don't have any shoes on.

00:42:05.000 Oh my god, I have to get this.

00:42:06.000 That sounds fantastic.

00:42:08.000 I don't have to get that.

00:42:08.000 But then, yeah, I don't go out of the country that much.

00:42:10.000 But then you have to travel somewhere.

00:42:11.000 You don't?

00:42:12.000 No, not much.

00:42:13.000 I mean, to Canada, but that doesn't really matter.

00:42:14.000 That's in the country.

00:42:15.000 Yeah.

00:42:16.000 That's still in this country.

00:42:17.000 Well, you could always go through the woods to get to Canada.

00:42:20.000 It's true.

00:42:21.000 People would talk about the border.

00:42:22.000 The border is a hundred yard clear cut, is most of the border with Canada.

00:42:26.000 It's just a hundred yard clear cut in the forest.

00:42:29.000 So it's actually cut?

00:42:31.000 Yeah, they just cut the trees down.

00:42:32.000 It's like a hundred yards wide, and that's the border.

00:42:36.000 All across from one end to the other?

00:42:38.000 Not only is it, it's actually easier to cross the border than the surrounding area.

00:42:42.000 Yeah, because the surrounding area is all forest.

00:42:44.000 Now, do they actually maintain that cut?

00:42:47.000 Yeah.

00:42:48.000 Really?

00:42:48.000 So every year, someone's job is to cut down the trees for a hundred yard space between the United States and Canada.

00:42:54.000 Yeah.

00:42:55.000 Wow.

00:42:55.000 That's most of the Canadian border.

00:42:56.000 Just to let you know, if you're a criminal and you cross here, additional charges will apply.

00:43:00.000 Yeah.

00:43:01.000 Because now you've fled the country.

00:43:02.000 Well, have you ever seen the footage of refugees coming into Canada?

00:43:07.000 No.

00:43:07.000 And the Mounties are just there going, now you understand that when you cross over here, we will be arresting you.

00:43:14.000 There's, look at it, that's the line.

00:43:16.000 Wow!

00:43:17.000 That's crazy!

00:43:18.000 Oh my god, it's an actual line.

00:43:19.000 The 49th parallel, it says.

00:43:21.000 Yeah.

00:43:22.000 Wow! 1.00

00:43:23.000 That's fucking crazy. 1.00

00:43:25.000 I bet that's a... 0.99

00:43:26.000 You need two passports to walk back to.

00:43:27.000 So there, there, America.

00:43:29.000 Wow!

00:43:29.000 There's where your terror should lie.

00:43:30.000 That's the opposite of a wall.

00:43:32.000 Yeah.

00:43:32.000 That's an actual welcoming path.

00:43:34.000 That's actually, yeah.

00:43:35.000 That shows how much we like Canada.

00:43:37.000 Yeah, or how little you think about it.

00:43:39.000 Making it easier to cross.

00:43:41.000 Yeah, we'll make it really...

00:43:43.000 Make it super easy.

00:43:44.000 It's easier.

00:43:45.000 That 100-yard stretch is like, ah!

00:43:47.000 Don't trip, eh?

00:43:48.000 Relax yourself.

00:43:49.000 You're about to hit paradise.

00:43:51.000 And most of the visa overstays are Canadian, which is the bulk of illegal immigration in America, is Canadians overstaying their visas.

00:44:00.000 Yeah, right.

00:44:00.000 I've done that.

00:44:01.000 Yeah, it's a giant part of it, right?

00:44:02.000 I mean, we all overstay our welcome.

00:44:04.000 Always.

00:44:04.000 British folks, too.

00:44:05.000 Definitely.

00:44:05.000 Yeah.

00:44:07.000 But no one cares.

00:44:08.000 But the thing is...

00:44:09.000 People don't think about Canada. 1.00

00:44:10.000 There's a lot of people in this country from a lot of other countries that just keep their fucking mouth shut. 1.00

00:44:15.000 No one knows. 0.99

00:44:17.000 Like, whenever they say they know, like, they take an estimate on how many illegal aliens, I'm like, that's a guess.

00:44:23.000 You just guessed.

00:44:24.000 You have no idea.

00:44:25.000 Yeah.

00:44:26.000 Well, I was just thinking you actually had, was it, Brian Cox on?

00:44:32.000 Yes.

00:44:32.000 And he said when you talk about the size of the universe, most of it's just a guess.

00:44:37.000 Based on the observable universe, based on the number of galaxies they can see, they're just guessing how many galaxies there are.

00:44:44.000 I think that's the same with illegal immigration.

00:44:46.000 You're just going, well, average.

00:44:48.000 Yeah.

00:44:48.000 I think you're more likely to be accurate with illegal immigration than you are with stars.

00:44:54.000 I don't know.

00:44:55.000 Yeah, I think the star thing, the problem is, now I'll butcher this, but I think it's that literally we don't have the capability to look past 13 point whatever billion years.

00:45:06.000 Yes, the big bang.

00:45:08.000 So if they look and they go, oh no, there's just like a big space, and then if you go 18 more billion years back, there's a thriving community of galaxies.

00:45:17.000 There's a whole other galaxy.

00:45:18.000 That's distance in time, but then just the sheer vastness of the sky, they've only actually looked at a fraction of it.

00:45:26.000 Right.

00:45:27.000 Well, talking to a guy like him is so amazing because you realize, like, okay, well, there's different kinds of humans.

00:45:32.000 Yeah.

00:45:33.000 There's humans that are actually studying these insanely complicated equations that are trying to prove the very nature of reality itself.

00:45:41.000 Yeah.

00:45:41.000 And then there's chimps like me who are just listening going, oh, okay, okay, so real big?

00:45:48.000 Big, big?

00:45:49.000 Yeah, okay.

00:45:50.000 So how do we know?

00:45:51.000 How do we know what started?

00:45:53.000 There was a bang?

00:45:54.000 Oh, okay.

00:45:55.000 What started the bang, Mr. Smarty Pants?

00:45:57.000 But Brian Cox, he's innovative in that he is an astrophysicist and he looks like a young David Cassidy.

00:46:05.000 And he's a musician.

00:46:07.000 Is he a musician?

00:46:07.000 Yeah.

00:46:08.000 And he's dreamy.

00:46:08.000 Yeah, he's a great guy, too.

00:46:10.000 I have a crush on him.

00:46:11.000 I had a crush on him, too.

00:46:12.000 Oh, my God.

00:46:12.000 He's a super sweetheart of a guy, too.

00:46:14.000 I've never met him, but I love watching him on TV. I did his podcast once, the live version of it, which is interesting.

00:46:21.000 It's great.

00:46:22.000 And he apparently has a new show that's coming here that I'll go with.

00:46:25.000 His touring show?

00:46:26.000 Come with.

00:46:26.000 Yeah, I'd love to.

00:46:27.000 He has a gigantic screen behind him filled with interlocking LED screens that apparently it's like this unbelievably gorgeous high-definition version of the Cosmos.

00:46:40.000 Wow.

00:46:41.000 And it's created by the same people who did that movie with...

00:46:45.000 Which one?

00:46:46.000 Interstellar.

00:46:47.000 Interstellar, yeah.

00:46:48.000 It's created by, and it's accurate.

00:46:51.000 The CGI is actually accurate according to his type of equations.

00:46:58.000 He worked at CERN. He's amazing.

00:47:00.000 He's amazing.

00:47:02.000 And he's a legit beautiful man.

00:47:03.000 Yeah.

00:47:04.000 Long rock star here.

00:47:06.000 He's a rock star.

00:47:08.000 He does a band.

00:47:09.000 He was in a band in the 80s.

00:47:11.000 Oh yeah.

00:47:12.000 No, he was a legit rock star.

00:47:13.000 Yeah.

00:47:14.000 I mean, genius rock star.

00:47:16.000 Good luck, guys. 1.00

00:47:18.000 That guy's trying to fuck your wife, you got a real problem. 1.00

00:47:21.000 I think he was in Scritty Politty. 1.00

00:47:23.000 Is that what the band was?

00:47:25.000 I don't know.

00:47:26.000 Someone should chart that.

00:47:27.000 Why are astrophysicists getting cuter?

00:47:29.000 I mean, you start with Stephen Hawking, then you get to, what's his name, Green.

00:47:34.000 Right.

00:47:35.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson.

00:47:36.000 He's a handsome man.

00:47:38.000 Charming.

00:47:39.000 Sure.

00:47:40.000 Good laugh.

00:47:41.000 You didn't have to be pretty in the old days.

00:47:43.000 No.

00:47:43.000 That position of science communicator is so effective.

00:47:47.000 It's so important because most of that stuff is so dry and so difficult to wrap your head around.

00:47:53.000 You need someone entertaining.

00:47:57.000 Weaning, yes.

00:47:58.000 Someone engaging that can deliver that.

00:48:01.000 With Brian, he's so nice.

00:48:05.000 He's so smiley and he enjoys it so much and he loves talking about it so much that it becomes infectious.

00:48:11.000 There's a lot of that stuff that's very difficult to follow when you try to read the papers.

00:48:16.000 I read the Stephen Hawking books and I would zone out so much while I was trying to comprehend what was going on.

00:48:23.000 I had Lawrence Krauss on and I was trying to get him to explain certain formulas and even when he's explaining them to you it doesn't seem to click.

00:48:39.000 It's like someone trying to explain French words to you by only speaking to you in French.

00:48:45.000 Yeah.

00:48:45.000 You're like, okay, but I don't speak French.

00:48:47.000 And you're like, yeah, well, you're fucked. 1.00

00:48:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:50.000 As soon as you say infinity, that's only a mathematical idea.

00:48:56.000 Yeah.

00:48:56.000 I mean, how can anything be infinite?

00:48:59.000 I know.

00:49:01.000 I mean, in math, you can say that a straight line goes on forever, and two parallel lines will never intersect.

00:49:07.000 Well, like, pi is theoretically infinite.

00:49:10.000 You know, it never ends.

00:49:11.000 Yeah.

00:49:11.000 Well, why is that difficult to grasp, though?

00:49:14.000 That's the real question.

00:49:16.000 Like, why do we need everything to be defined by a very obvious beginning and an end?

00:49:23.000 Because everything we experience has a beginning and an end.

00:49:26.000 Biologically, too.

00:49:26.000 Because we experience time.

00:49:28.000 Time is not experienced everywhere the same way.

00:49:32.000 Well, time isn't experienced at all if you're not sentient.

00:49:35.000 True.

00:49:36.000 Or if you live in Arizona.

00:49:38.000 They whack it off.

00:49:39.000 It's different.

00:49:39.000 I always wondered if there was a reason why we wanted things to have a beginning and an end.

00:49:46.000 Is it because we have our life, and our life has a beginning and an end, all the lives of the people we know?

00:49:52.000 Well, we definitely have an end.

00:49:54.000 I guess people are obsessed with that.

00:49:55.000 Do we want things to have a beginning and an end, or are we terrified of beginnings and ends?

00:49:59.000 I thought, too.

00:50:00.000 Just the thought of an end is terrible.

00:50:01.000 That's why we create...

00:50:02.000 You know, gods and religions is because the idea that life ends and that it's all been for nothing is terrifying to people.

00:50:10.000 There's a little bit of that.

00:50:11.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:50:12.000 There's a little bit of, like, doing it to create order in the community, and there's a little bit of people find mushrooms and they need an explanation what the fuck they're feeling. 0.73

00:50:20.000 It's like our brains are constructed in such a way that we need an end. 0.61

00:50:24.000 Yeah.

00:50:25.000 Or else you don't understand, where am I now?

00:50:28.000 If there's no end.

00:50:29.000 My very uninformed theory, which is that First off, that everything is meaningless, but that only the brain damaged are capable of conceiving of meaninglessness, because our brains are meaning machines.

00:50:44.000 And that we evolved, and it gave us an evolutionary advantage that we give meaning to things.

00:50:49.000 Like I said, this is a table because we say it's a table.

00:50:52.000 It's not a table to a cat.

00:50:54.000 That's why a cat will just get up and walk around on it.

00:50:56.000 It's because it's from a mutual agreement.

00:50:59.000 Yeah, we agree this is a table.

00:51:00.000 And that kind of meaning, let us organize our lives, let us be better hunters.

00:51:06.000 You know what constantly occurs to me and bothers me is that we decide not to drive into each other because we've painted a little line on a road down the middle.

00:51:15.000 We've all agreed not to cross that line.

00:51:18.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:51:18.000 We ascribe meaning to objects and that gave us an advantage over other animals.

00:51:23.000 And so our brains just evolved.

00:51:25.000 And then when we got to the point where we realized we're going to die, we go, well, there's got to be some meaning there, too.

00:51:30.000 So then we had to create myths that created meaning about our lives.

00:51:36.000 That's the dangerous loop of there's no meaning to everything and nothing has meaning.

00:51:41.000 That's a dangerous loop for a person psychologically because you can get stuck in that and you can really...

00:51:48.000 But I don't think you can because it's impossible to conceive of unless you are seriously brain damaged.

00:51:53.000 Well, no, I don't think it's impossible to conceive.

00:51:55.000 You can intellectually think about it, but you can't grasp it, really.

00:52:00.000 Isn't living in the now kind of the same as life has no meaning?

00:52:03.000 No, the opposite.

00:52:06.000 No, you're not thinking about the fact that it has no meaning.

00:52:09.000 You're enjoying the meaning.

00:52:11.000 You're enjoying the meaning?

00:52:12.000 You're enjoying life.

00:52:13.000 You're enjoying experience.

00:52:14.000 You're enjoying each interaction with people.

00:52:17.000 You're enjoying your thoughts.

00:52:18.000 I think the problem that people have is like, what's the point?

00:52:21.000 That's the problem.

00:52:22.000 That what's the point thought, that's a weird loop.

00:52:25.000 And that's the thing is it doesn't really matter.

00:52:27.000 Because you're going to create a point anyway.

00:52:30.000 I mean, there was an existential psychology, there's like five different ways people describe meaning.

00:52:36.000 Metaphysical meaning, reproductive meaning, biological meaning, or creative meaning, like the works you do.

00:52:43.000 That somehow you live on in all these different ways. 0.99

00:52:46.000 A lot of atheists tend to be artists who believe that they live on through their work, which is totally as stupid as believing in God. 1.00

00:52:54.000 It's definitely silly. 0.99

00:52:55.000 I mean, obviously someone's going to enjoy your work, but I think the real meaning is in creating the work, and then the fact that people are going to enjoy it. 1.00

00:53:02.000 If you're doing it because you want it to live on forever, you're a moron. 0.99

00:53:04.000 Yeah, good luck with that. 1.00

00:53:05.000 Because there's no forever for the whole planet.

00:53:08.000 But I just think meaning is an inescapable product of the human mind.

00:53:11.000 Yeah.

00:53:12.000 One example is like they did a study where they went all like into the jungles of the Amazon to people who have never had any contact with the modern world and they drew a circle with two dots and a curved line and everyone sees a face.

00:53:26.000 Everyone sees a face.

00:53:27.000 The only people who don't see a face are people who have been brain damaged and can no longer form the meaning.

00:53:33.000 Oh, interesting.

00:53:34.000 So, there are people who suffer brain damage.

00:53:51.000 I had lunch with Eric Von Daniken last week.

00:53:55.000 Oh my god.

00:53:55.000 Yes.

00:53:56.000 Very interesting.

00:53:57.000 Very weird.

00:53:58.000 He's the guy who wrote Chariots of the Gods.

00:54:00.000 Oh, God.

00:54:01.000 Yeah.

00:54:02.000 In his 80s now.

00:54:03.000 Staple book in our house.

00:54:05.000 And he was showing us slides.

00:54:07.000 What's the real story there?

00:54:08.000 I was wondering.

00:54:10.000 Mostly nonsense, unfortunately.

00:54:12.000 Was it really?

00:54:13.000 Yeah, mostly what it is is evidence of lost civilizations.

00:54:18.000 Ancient civilizations that were incredibly advanced.

00:54:20.000 I follow the work of Graham Hancock and Randall Carlson and a few other people that are being proven actually correct more and more, almost on a daily basis, by new discoveries that show that civilization predates what we initially thought.

00:54:37.000 It goes way back farther.

00:54:38.000 Yeah.

00:54:39.000 The initial thought was that somewhere around the Great Pyramids, which is like 2500 BC, that was about as good as anybody got.

00:54:47.000 You go back to like ancient Sumer, which is about 6,000 years ago, and then that's basically it.

00:54:52.000 What they're saying is that, no, there was most likely a reset, a global reset of civilization due to a cataclysmic disaster, and there's a shit ton of evidence.

00:55:03.000 There's massive evidence in the form of this nuclear glass that exists when there's That's terrifying.

00:55:32.000 Yeah.

00:55:33.000 Mass extinction of 60 plus percent of the large mammals in a very short window of time, almost instantaneously in North America.

00:55:42.000 The end of the ice age, like 10,000 plus years ago, there was a mile high ice in most of North America.

00:55:50.000 Most of North America covered in ice, and then, gone.

00:55:53.000 And all these areas, all these points of interest point to this one moment in time that's somewhere between 10,000 and 12,000 years ago that some big event happened, and that most likely just crippled civilization, and then people had to rebuild.

00:56:10.000 Whatever people were around, rebuild.

00:56:12.000 Because also, they found just looking at DNA that All of humanity at one point got wiped out except for like one village.

00:56:22.000 Everyone has descended from the same group of about 5,000 people.

00:56:27.000 Well, there was a super volcano that erupted somewhere around 70,000 years ago.

00:56:32.000 They think this is predating this cataclysmic disaster of 12,000 years ago.

00:56:37.000 That they are pretty sure wiped human beings down to a few thousand folks.

00:56:41.000 Wow.

00:56:42.000 Where is that one?

00:56:43.000 Is that like...

00:56:44.000 I want to say, where's that super volcano?

00:56:47.000 There's a super volcano that knocked everybody down.

00:56:51.000 We'll find it.

00:56:51.000 Yeah.

00:56:52.000 We've got one under Yosemite, right?

00:56:54.000 Or Yellowstone.

00:56:55.000 Yellowstone.

00:56:56.000 It's a caldera.

00:56:57.000 Yellowstone's going to get us all.

00:56:58.000 Every six to eight hundred thousand years, it blows.

00:57:00.000 I think we're due, right?

00:57:01.000 That's why I don't go camping.

00:57:02.000 Don't go camping.

00:57:03.000 That might not be the worst place to go.

00:57:05.000 Go camping.

00:57:07.000 Be over in a second.

00:57:08.000 That way when it ends, it ends quick.

00:57:09.000 You don't want to be living in New York.

00:57:11.000 Just choking on toxic fumes.

00:57:13.000 Just a cloud of dust.

00:57:15.000 That's the worst.

00:57:16.000 Watching people eat homeless folks in the street.

00:57:18.000 There's no good place.

00:57:19.000 You can do that now in New York.

00:57:21.000 Well, there's also things that fly through space.

00:57:25.000 Zip by, you know, like, they're constantly finding these things.

00:57:29.000 Yeah.

00:57:30.000 That's the thing, well, these things, the Eric Von Danica thing, I remember as a kid going, my problem was that they kept showing all these massive paintings that can only be seen from the sky, so therefore there must have been drawn for aliens, and I kept going, well...

00:57:42.000 No, if you believe God is looking down on you, you're going to draw big paintings for God to look at.

00:57:47.000 Right.

00:57:47.000 So you don't need that.

00:57:49.000 But now I'm more – the thing I've become obsessed with lately is the skepticism about UFOs.

00:57:59.000 Yeah, that's why I wanted to talk to you about this, because you told me that you've become obsessed with UFOs recently.

00:58:04.000 Oh, yeah, completely.

00:58:05.000 Believer? 0.71

00:58:06.000 Yeah, totally.

00:58:07.000 Really?

00:58:08.000 Yeah, I totally believe the UFO phenomenon is real.

00:58:10.000 I don't know what it is, but it's totally, it has to be real.

00:58:13.000 Something's happened.

00:58:14.000 Why is that?

00:58:14.000 Because there's just way too much evidence that it is real.

00:58:17.000 What evidence?

00:58:18.000 Well, radar evidence that the F-16 locked on a UFO, that footage.

00:58:25.000 And also just, like I know a friend of ours, I don't know if she wanted to say it, but her father was an air traffic controller.

00:58:33.000 And he told her, they said, yeah, every air traffic controller has seen something.

00:58:36.000 Yeah.

00:58:37.000 And I had another friend whose father was a commercial pilot.

00:58:40.000 And she said, yeah.

00:58:41.000 My dad said, every single pilot has seen something.

00:58:43.000 And they've all been told not to say anything about it.

00:58:46.000 We have a couple of friends that say they were abducted.

00:58:49.000 Yeah.

00:58:50.000 Yeah, the abducted one is a little easier to wrap your head around.

00:58:53.000 Because when you're sleeping, your brain is producing all sorts of endogenous psychedelic chemicals.

00:58:58.000 Yeah.

00:58:59.000 Almost all of these experiences happen when you're sleeping.

00:59:02.000 Almost all these experiences when these people are abducted, they're taken from their beds, which is when they're dreaming.

00:59:06.000 Yeah.

00:59:06.000 I mean, it's like there's some real clear, easy steps to follow if you want to follow Occam's razor and not get crazy with it.

00:59:13.000 But it knocks those out, but it doesn't knock out like Barney and Betty Hill and all the people that are abducted will fully conscious and that remember it without hypnotherapy.

00:59:21.000 I'm not sure about the abduction phenomenon.

00:59:23.000 I don't know Barney and Betty Hill.

00:59:25.000 I know the story, but I don't know them.

00:59:27.000 So I would have to know them.

00:59:29.000 There's a lot of people that I've...

00:59:31.000 I did a show for SyFy called Joe Rogan Questions Everything.

00:59:35.000 And that cured me.

00:59:37.000 That show cured me of a lot of my nonsense with conspiracies.

00:59:41.000 Well, we used to talk about that stuff all the time.

00:59:44.000 Yeah, all the time.

00:59:44.000 Yeah, but I needed to actually study it.

00:59:47.000 So for six months, that's basically all I did.

00:59:50.000 I interviewed people, like Bigfoot believers, UFO believers, and the one thing that they have in common is they all seem to be kind of lost and dependent upon this thing being real.

01:00:05.000 Yeah, right.

01:00:06.000 Instead of being objective, there's only one lady that I interviewed that saw Bigfoot that really seemed to be telling the truth.

01:00:12.000 But I think she saw a bear.

01:00:14.000 Bears walk on two feet all the time.

01:00:16.000 They do it all the time.

01:00:17.000 There's video footage.

01:00:18.000 You can find it all the time.

01:00:19.000 And she was in the Pacific Northwest, which is incredibly dense woods.

01:00:23.000 You see something, you glimpse it.

01:00:25.000 Look, I was hunting once in Canada, in Alberta, and I thought I saw a wolf for like two seconds.

01:00:30.000 It was a squirrel.

01:00:31.000 Okay?

01:00:32.000 Understand this.

01:00:33.000 A very big squirrel?

01:00:34.000 What is that?

01:00:34.000 Wolf?

01:00:35.000 No, it's squirrel.

01:00:36.000 No, I just saw fur.

01:00:37.000 I saw fur, and I was...

01:00:38.000 Because it's really dense woods. 0.99

01:00:40.000 Because I was looking for fucking wolves. 0.99

01:00:42.000 Because I was like... 1.00

01:00:43.000 Because I know...

01:00:44.000 We did see one wolf.

01:00:46.000 It crossed the road.

01:00:47.000 It was either a wolf or a coyote.

01:00:48.000 It was hard to tell because it was at dusk.

01:00:50.000 It was very dark out.

01:00:51.000 But when you're looking for something, you think everything is that thing you're looking for. 0.99

01:00:56.000 So for a second, I thought that fucking squirrel was a wolf. 0.99

01:01:00.000 That's funny. 0.99

01:01:01.000 Well, expectation and perception are very linked.

01:01:03.000 Yes.

01:01:04.000 Well, they found that 50% of everything you see is a product of memory.

01:01:10.000 Yes.

01:01:11.000 Wow.

01:01:11.000 That when you observe something, they've done fMRIs, and that most of the activity in the brain is in the memory centers, not in the visual centers.

01:01:20.000 Interesting.

01:01:20.000 Only about 50% of the activity is in the visual centers of the brain.

01:01:23.000 That's crazy.

01:01:24.000 The UFO thing is very...

01:01:26.000 When I was a kid, I went and saw Carl Sagan speak at U of T, at the University of Toronto, and I was like, you know, 14. But he did an equation.

01:01:35.000 On the board of the possibility of alien life other than us in the universe.

01:01:42.000 And it came to the smallest, I mean, he spent the whole time writing on this chalkboard.

01:01:47.000 It was fascinating.

01:01:49.000 But he actually came up with a number at the end.

01:01:52.000 And it was such a small, he says, there is something out there, but they are so far away.

01:02:02.000 Yeah.

01:02:03.000 That unless they can go faster than the speed of light, which he said was impossible at the time, the 70s, there's no way we've seen them.

01:02:14.000 That's what he said.

01:02:15.000 So if some other...

01:02:17.000 If beings have conquered the speed of light thing, then maybe we could see them.

01:02:22.000 Yeah.

01:02:23.000 But that's a thing with skepticism in general is like the skeptics of the 19th century were the ones who said germs don't exist.

01:02:36.000 Right, because we can't see them.

01:02:37.000 And people who said germs did exist were ridiculed and laughed out of the trade.

01:02:41.000 Mm-hmm.

01:02:41.000 Right?

01:02:42.000 Yeah.

01:02:43.000 I agree with you completely.

01:02:44.000 Just because you can't see it or it isn't happening doesn't mean it can't happen.

01:02:48.000 And even since Sagan's day, there had been no exoplanets discovered then.

01:02:53.000 We now know that there are literally trillions and trillions of Earth-like planets.

01:02:58.000 Yeah, they just speculated as to the existence of them outside of our solar system before.

01:03:03.000 The real problem is that if some, there's a leap, and a leap, a technological leap that opens the doors to massive innovation.

01:03:11.000 That once this happens, once this happens and then all this stuff sort of exponentially expands in terms of technological possibilities, all you would need Is a few hundred years and you have an unrecognizable set of technology.

01:03:29.000 Yeah, sure.

01:03:30.000 You know, I mean...

01:03:31.000 We were talking about CERN. I mean, the whole antimatter idea that they're still trying to figure out.

01:03:37.000 That's an insane source of energy that we have never even experienced.

01:03:45.000 With a grain of sand that can run a city.

01:03:49.000 I mean, it's that big.

01:03:51.000 And there's also a theory, there's a recent one, that space-time itself doesn't exist.

01:03:56.000 So the speed of light barrier becomes moot because I guess it's the holographic, quantum hologram, quantum holographic theory of the universe.

01:04:06.000 Yeah.

01:04:07.000 Is that Michael Talbot's book?

01:04:09.000 I can't remember.

01:04:10.000 Holographic universe, is that who wrote that?

01:04:12.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:04:12.000 But the idea that the universe is basically just a geometry that when you look at it from a certain angle seems three-dimensional.

01:04:18.000 Right, and it folds into itself, so you could travel through.

01:04:23.000 That's the wormhole thing.

01:04:24.000 Well, it's not even that.

01:04:25.000 It's the idea that space-time is an illusion, and that it doesn't really exist, and that's why entanglement is possible.

01:04:37.000 You know, the idea that, you know, spooky action at a distance.

01:04:40.000 Yes.

01:04:40.000 Quantum.

01:04:41.000 Yeah.

01:04:41.000 Quantum entanglement.

01:04:43.000 Yeah.

01:04:43.000 But the reason that, you know, these, you know, atoms on opposite ends of the universe can affect each other instantaneously… At the same moment.

01:04:52.000 …is because they're not really at opposite ends of the universe.

01:04:54.000 They're really right next to each other.

01:04:55.000 It just seems like they're at opposite ends of the universe.

01:04:58.000 Because our ability to perceive is basically based on what we have to do to stay alive on this planet.

01:05:05.000 So our meager little chimp brains are trying to quantify all of these things that are around us all the time.

01:05:12.000 So we put them into this sort of three-dimensional box of movement and distance.

01:05:17.000 And the entire universe could be a compact thing that projects itself like a hologram. 0.97

01:05:25.000 I love these kind of conversations because I'm clearly too stupid to really understand what we're saying. 0.97

01:05:29.000 And I don't understand anything I just said. 1.00

01:05:31.000 And I don't understand you two, so how stupid does that make me? 0.99

01:05:34.000 Well, we don't understand each other. 1.00

01:05:35.000 This is perfect.

01:05:36.000 We're all the same.

01:05:37.000 I think it would be interesting to do a document or something about ufology.

01:05:44.000 Because one thing is the assumption that they're extraterrestrial is an assumption.

01:05:48.000 But the thing that intrigues me is the power of ridicule to silence even the most intelligent people in our community from examining something.

01:05:57.000 Like, ridicule kept doctors from accepting germs.

01:06:01.000 Because they didn't want to be ridiculed by their peers.

01:06:06.000 And even now, you've got people that will, like Michael Shermer, will cling to the most absurd explanations for phenomena like the F-16 radar footage.

01:06:17.000 What was Michael Shermer's take on it?

01:06:19.000 I can't even remember it, but it really went to great lengths that entailed having to basically diminish any respect you had for any of the people who reported on the events.

01:06:32.000 It had to go into character assassination in order to eliminate it.

01:06:36.000 Well, that's the best way to kill an idea.

01:06:39.000 He's a professional skeptic, and I like Michael a lot, and he's been on the podcast many times, but I actually had him debate Randall Carlson and Graham Hancock about these ancient civilizations, and it wasn't very good for him.

01:06:52.000 There were some clunky moments.

01:06:54.000 Because skeptics are believers.

01:06:56.000 Well, the problem is they believe in skepticism.

01:06:58.000 The problem is being a skeptic itself. 1.00

01:07:01.000 It's a stupid way to look at the world. 1.00

01:07:03.000 You're actually sure about something. 1.00

01:07:05.000 I mean, you should be objective.

01:07:06.000 Don't be skeptical.

01:07:08.000 Being skeptical is like, I don't know.

01:07:11.000 I know for sure that that's not true.

01:07:13.000 But it serves a massive purpose for people that really don't understand things, and he can explain it to you with actual science.

01:07:21.000 As long as the actual science is being used, and it's not character-accessive, Yeah.

01:07:40.000 They're looking at it, they're trying to pick it apart.

01:07:42.000 And that's fine if you can pick it apart, but if you cannot, you have to be objective about the fact that, oh, well, this is a very interesting phenomenon, and this is what we know about science, and this is what we know about this thing, and right now we have a weird conundrum.

01:07:57.000 Eric Von Daniken.

01:08:02.000 Was he a believer?

01:08:03.000 100%.

01:08:04.000 He's all in.

01:08:05.000 Still is.

01:08:06.000 I asked him, the first thing I asked him, I said, what is the...

01:08:08.000 Can I pause?

01:08:09.000 I desperately have to go pee.

01:08:10.000 No, go, go, go.

01:08:11.000 The first thing I asked him was, what is the most compelling piece of evidence?

01:08:17.000 And he pointed to this Mayan stone plaque that's in Palenque.

01:08:25.000 I don't know if you've ever seen it.

01:08:26.000 It's...

01:08:27.000 Is it in the book?

01:08:28.000 Yeah, it's a god, one of their former kings that is lying on his back, and it looks like he's moving some – Jamie, see if you can find that thing.

01:08:39.000 It's this really cool carving that they found that looks like there's a guy who is in a seat, and it looks like there's fire behind his back, and you could say – You could say that he's manipulating controls on a ship and he's,

01:08:56.000 you know, shooting a rocket into the heaven.

01:08:58.000 I would like to see what the...

01:09:01.000 The mainstream version of that is, because also it could just be art.

01:09:05.000 Yeah, imagination.

01:09:07.000 Yeah, it could be that they knew about certain things being propelled by fire.

01:09:12.000 There it is.

01:09:13.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:09:14.000 So if you see this, I mean, that's a big-ass stretch to say that guy's in a spaceship. 0.98

01:09:18.000 I don't know what the fuck that is. 0.98

01:09:20.000 He's sitting down. 0.99

01:09:21.000 Looks like an altar, kind of, to me.

01:09:23.000 It could, yeah, but it does look like he's looking through an eyepiece, right?

01:09:26.000 That's true.

01:09:28.000 But what does that mean?

01:09:28.000 Is it a telescope?

01:09:29.000 Maybe he's just got a telescope.

01:09:31.000 Maybe it's just an astronomer.

01:09:33.000 Yeah, it is possible.

01:09:34.000 I don't think they had telescopes.

01:09:36.000 No.

01:09:36.000 I don't think a telescope was even invented until...

01:09:38.000 No.

01:09:39.000 Did they even have glass at that point?

01:09:40.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:09:41.000 Well, I don't know if the Mayans did.

01:09:43.000 Wow.

01:09:43.000 But that was his number one piece of evidence.

01:09:47.000 I was like, that's kind of silly.

01:09:49.000 I mean, when we were kids in the 70s, you know, Bigfoot, you know, and Chariot to the Gods, and everything was so new.

01:09:57.000 Hey, look at this image.

01:09:58.000 Look at the bottom of it.

01:09:59.000 Even the part where the flame's supposed to be coming out from below him.

01:10:02.000 Which flame?

01:10:02.000 Yeah.

01:10:03.000 Where's the flame?

01:10:03.000 Sorry, what's the flame?

01:10:04.000 I guess the flame is the shit at the very, very bottom. 0.98

01:10:07.000 But, I mean, I'm not even sure I'd buy that. 0.99

01:10:10.000 If you were going to draw fire, you'd do a really shitty job if that's your fire.

01:10:13.000 That doesn't really look like fire to me.

01:10:15.000 No.

01:10:15.000 It looks like an ornate seat or something.

01:10:18.000 Right.

01:10:19.000 Right, if that's fire, what is all the stuff around him?

01:10:22.000 What's all that stuff?

01:10:23.000 That looks kind of mechanical though, right?

01:10:25.000 It looks like there's bolts.

01:10:26.000 It does.

01:10:27.000 Did they have a fire god?

01:10:28.000 Maybe they drew the fire god.

01:10:29.000 It looks like a monkey kind of face. 0.99

01:10:32.000 With titties. 0.99

01:10:32.000 The monkey's got some titties. 0.99

01:10:34.000 Oh, now I get it. 0.96

01:10:34.000 Right? 0.96

01:10:35.000 And then the monkey's...

01:10:36.000 Is that his teeth?

01:10:37.000 It's the first Hooters.

01:10:38.000 They're like arms, actually.

01:10:39.000 Right.

01:10:40.000 It could be arms.

01:10:41.000 But that's the point, is it's so open to interpretation.

01:10:45.000 There's so much that you could see if you're looking to see.

01:10:48.000 But what I do see is this guy who's...

01:10:51.000 He's reclining in an odd way.

01:10:53.000 Yeah, he's chilling, and it looks like he's looking through something.

01:10:55.000 What's that thing hanging across him?

01:10:58.000 Do you see that thing across his arms? 0.98

01:10:59.000 Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that is. 0.95

01:11:01.000 But here's the thing. 0.99

01:11:03.000 I don't think anybody knows what the fuck that is. 0.91

01:11:05.000 But so for him to say that this was the number one most compelling evidence... 0.94

01:11:10.000 I mean, were people getting high at this point?

01:11:12.000 Oh, yeah.

01:11:13.000 So, I mean, that could be just some guy got high and...

01:11:15.000 LSD. Carved something.

01:11:17.000 They were taking different kinds of plants that had lysergic acid in them.

01:11:23.000 I had a great tour in Chichen Itza.

01:11:27.000 We went through and we hired a guide who was a professor.

01:11:31.000 He was fantastic.

01:11:32.000 He was really good.

01:11:34.000 He really loved Mayan civilization.

01:11:37.000 He was super passionate about it.

01:11:39.000 And then when he found out that I had read a bunch of books on it, he was really excited about it, so he took us to all these different areas. 0.90

01:11:44.000 But there was one area where they had this hall where they would just get fucked up. 0.94

01:11:49.000 And he was like, this is where they would do their psychedelics.

01:11:53.000 They would take different forms of plants.

01:11:56.000 There's a bunch of different plants, like morning glory seeds.

01:11:59.000 Really?

01:12:00.000 Yeah, morning glory seeds.

01:12:01.000 The same ones you find today?

01:12:02.000 Yeah, they actually try to mute them.

01:12:05.000 A lot of people don't know that morning glory seeds actually contain, what is the active compound?

01:12:11.000 I think it's a cousin of LSD. It's something psychoactive that's very closely related.

01:12:18.000 And what they would do is they would make it, they would take the morning glory seeds, they would soak them, and I think they would smash them and make a cake and bake it.

01:12:27.000 It says they have LSA. LSA. Lessergic acid, right?

01:12:31.000 Is that lessergic acid?

01:12:32.000 Concentrated.

01:12:33.000 Wow.

01:12:34.000 Yeah.

01:12:34.000 And so when you buy, they've engineered morning glory seeds, many of them, to not be psychoactive.

01:12:43.000 They've done things to them because so many people in the 70s were getting high off morning glory seeds.

01:12:49.000 Oh, isn't that funny?

01:12:50.000 Yeah, Terrence McKenna, who's one of my favorite psychedelic authors, that was his first psychedelic trip.

01:12:56.000 He was a young man.

01:12:57.000 He ate morning glory seeds.

01:12:59.000 He bought them and smashed them up.

01:13:00.000 Teens trying to get high sickened after eating flower seeds.

01:13:05.000 Today's show.

01:13:05.000 What year is that?

01:13:06.000 That's so funny.

01:13:07.000 Two, three years ago.

01:13:08.000 Yeah, they bought flower seeds recently.

01:13:11.000 They probably heard me talk about it.

01:13:13.000 Oh, that's baby wood rose. 0.97

01:13:15.000 That's so funny.

01:13:16.000 Morning Glory, yeah, okay, those are Morning Glory ones.

01:13:19.000 Yeah, but see...

01:13:20.000 It's better than smoking banana peels.

01:13:21.000 I don't know why they're getting sick. 1.00

01:13:24.000 They're probably pussies. 1.00

01:13:25.000 Too many. 1.00

01:13:26.000 Little bitches. 1.00

01:13:27.000 Apparently these seeds contain D-larsergic acid amide, LSA, which closely resembles LSD, but see, all of them don't have that. 0.99

01:13:37.000 Now, when they say they got sick, what did they have?

01:13:38.000 Nausea and vomiting.

01:13:39.000 Oh, they had a bad trip.

01:13:40.000 And introspection.

01:13:42.000 Oh, introspection is sickening.

01:13:45.000 Yes.

01:13:48.000 Well, yeah, apparently that's how a lot of the Mayans used to take LSA. They used to take this stuff.

01:13:56.000 They used to take Morning Glory seeds.

01:13:57.000 And McKenna said that when he did it, he saw a lot of, like, classic Mayan iconography.

01:14:06.000 He saw, like, a lot of imagery.

01:14:08.000 So maybe that's just how it reacts with the brain.

01:14:10.000 It could be.

01:14:11.000 That's a really plausible theory.

01:14:14.000 There's another theory that's a little more slippery, and this one is very woo-woo, and the idea is that every experience that you have, like say if you take mushrooms, right?

01:14:25.000 When you're eating mushrooms, you're not just having an experience where your brain is interacting with this substance, but you are in fact experiencing all of the people that have ever interacted with this trip.

01:14:38.000 So that's one of the reasons why psilocybin is so potentially potent, is that you're not just accessing...

01:14:45.000 We're talking about morning glory seeds.

01:14:47.000 Oh, right.

01:14:48.000 And people getting high on morning glory seeds.

01:14:50.000 This is something that the Mayans did.

01:14:52.000 I remember we did that when I was in high school.

01:14:54.000 Oh, there you go.

01:14:56.000 That explains a lot.

01:14:58.000 McKenna was saying that when he did it, he saw all this...

01:15:01.000 I think he said either Mayan or Egyptian iconography.

01:15:04.000 He saw a lot of like...

01:15:06.000 I've seen images that were very similar to these ancient civilizations, and the thought is that either this is what it's doing to your brain, or the more woo-woo thought is that when you are having a psychedelic experience, especially when you're consuming something like a fungus,

01:15:22.000 like psilocybin, that you're not just having this experience where this chemical is interacting with your brain, But you're entering into the realm of all the previous experiences that human beings have had with this.

01:15:32.000 Which is one of the reasons why psilocybin has such a rich history.

01:15:37.000 And these are incredibly potent experiences when you do take psilocybin.

01:15:41.000 And then also ayahuasca.

01:15:44.000 Ayahuasca, yeah.

01:15:45.000 When you take that, people see jaguars and snakes and all these different things.

01:15:50.000 And so the thought behind that is that you are interacting with all the experiences that all these different people have had.

01:15:56.000 With these various substances.

01:15:58.000 Is it what's genetic inside you?

01:16:00.000 Could be.

01:16:02.000 I mean, who knows?

01:16:03.000 Information is stored, yeah.

01:16:04.000 That's all just speculating.

01:16:06.000 But what's interesting is that McKenna said that ketamine, which at the time when he was alive, he died in the early, I think early 2000s, right?

01:16:15.000 I think he died in the early 2000s.

01:16:19.000 That ketamine was a weird drug to take because it seemed like no one had taken it yet.

01:16:24.000 That you would take it and it's like you were in an empty office building.

01:16:28.000 Like it's all built but there's no one in the building.

01:16:30.000 Whereas if you're taking LSD or if you're taking psilocybin, you've all these experiences that people have had.

01:16:37.000 So it's like the drug itself or the compound itself absorbs the experiences of the user and transfers them to the next user.

01:16:46.000 Wow.

01:16:47.000 Very woo-woo.

01:16:48.000 Yeah, it is.

01:16:48.000 I like that idea, though.

01:16:49.000 But when you do something that's as potent as, like, psilocybin, you're open to fucking anything. 0.98

01:16:55.000 Like, if that's possible, if you can eat five grams of mushrooms and that happens, like, goddammit, I'll take whatever you got. 0.98

01:17:01.000 What else you got?

01:17:02.000 What else you tell me? 0.99

01:17:03.000 I don't know what the fuck this is. 0.99

01:17:04.000 Like, what is this? 0.99

01:17:05.000 And that's, yeah, I don't know who you guys are talking about.

01:17:07.000 Yeah, psilocybin...

01:17:08.000 Can treat intractable depression.

01:17:10.000 Yes.

01:17:11.000 Oh no, it opens up doors in your brain that will always stay closed.

01:17:15.000 Yeah, you do one psilocybin trip and then for like six months their depression is completely gone.

01:17:19.000 Yeah.

01:17:19.000 My parents had a friend who was experimented on in Canada with the LSD. So she lost her mind eventually.

01:17:30.000 But she didn't know at the time.

01:17:32.000 The CIA was doing it.

01:17:34.000 The CIA was experimenting on Canadians.

01:17:36.000 In Canada.

01:17:38.000 Of course.

01:17:38.000 And she was one of them.

01:17:39.000 Just have to get across that clear cut and dope them up.

01:17:43.000 That's right.

01:17:44.000 Back then it was harder.

01:17:45.000 There was a shrub that they couldn't get over.

01:17:48.000 That's what I was saying.

01:17:49.000 They had the full cooperation.

01:17:50.000 It was the Diefenbaker, I think.

01:17:53.000 Yep.

01:17:53.000 Do you guys know the Ted Kaczynski story, the Unabomber?

01:17:56.000 I know about the Unabomber part.

01:17:58.000 He was a part of the LSD Harvard studies.

01:18:01.000 Oh, was he?

01:18:02.000 Oh, this was kind of the same deal. 0.95

01:18:04.000 Yeah, they cooked that guy's brain.

01:18:06.000 Yeah, there's a documentary about it.

01:18:08.000 It's really interesting. 0.66

01:18:09.000 He was like a 16-year-old kid when he first went to Harvard because he was so fucking smart that he was entering into Harvard at 16 years of age.

01:18:20.000 And there was a psychologist that was working at Harvard at the time that he's been photographed with and was friends with, and he was a part of this program. 0.87

01:18:31.000 This guy was notoriously ruthless with his application of LSD to young people.

01:18:37.000 I mean, he just gave it a shot.

01:18:38.000 Let's see what it does.

01:18:40.000 It does, it fries them forever.

01:18:41.000 It does, but here's the thing, and I've been thinking about this a lot lately.

01:18:45.000 I think that he was on to something.

01:18:47.000 And this is what he was on to.

01:18:49.000 What he was on to, he was trying to kill people that were creating technology because he felt like technology is going to be the end of humans.

01:18:55.000 He's right.

01:18:56.000 Yeah, totally right.

01:18:57.000 That's exactly what Elon Musk was saying on your show.

01:18:59.000 Yeah, no, no. 0.99

01:19:00.000 And if you're high as fuck on acid, and they probably gave him a fucking coffee cup full of acid at 16, I mean, who knows how much they were. 0.99

01:19:07.000 They didn't know what the doses were. 1.00

01:19:09.000 They were just experimenting with people.

01:19:11.000 Yeah, it was like Ken Kesey and Leary Roll.

01:19:12.000 Exactly.

01:19:13.000 Part of that.

01:19:13.000 Exactly.

01:19:14.000 A few weeks ago when I read an article online and at the bottom it said this article has been written by a program, not by a human.

01:19:21.000 I was like, what?

01:19:25.000 Paintings done by AI? Symphonies?

01:19:29.000 No humans involved anymore.

01:19:30.000 It's happening.

01:19:31.000 We're in it now.

01:19:33.000 Once they figure out a way to make a reality that's indiscernible from the reality that we're currently experiencing, which is just It's around the corner.

01:19:41.000 That's only like a decade.

01:19:42.000 Or it happened a billion years ago.

01:19:43.000 Right.

01:19:44.000 And we're just living in it.

01:19:46.000 Well, you only know what's in front of you.

01:19:48.000 You know what I mean?

01:19:49.000 Sure.

01:19:49.000 Yeah.

01:19:50.000 And if you've done the, you know, the, you know, what is it, the Oculus stuff and all that?

01:19:56.000 Oculus Rift?

01:19:56.000 Yeah.

01:19:57.000 I mean...

01:19:57.000 We have a HTC Vive in the back.

01:19:59.000 It's amazing.

01:20:00.000 They're incredible, right?

01:20:01.000 Yeah, it's amazing.

01:20:02.000 But your emotions, everything, it's like you're there.

01:20:04.000 It's no different.

01:20:05.000 Yeah, it's very similar.

01:20:07.000 There's one where you jump off a building.

01:20:08.000 Have you ever tried that one?

01:20:09.000 No.

01:20:10.000 You go out on a diving board on a high rise and step off.

01:20:14.000 Yeah, well, they're using it to treat PTSD and arachnophobia.

01:20:20.000 It's like...

01:20:22.000 It's going to happen.

01:20:23.000 So once they figure out a way to give you some experiences that you can't tell whether or not those experiences are real or not, then the aliens will land.

01:20:34.000 It's the matrix, man.

01:20:35.000 It really is the matrix.

01:20:37.000 I think that artificial life and intelligence that is sentient, that is also completely autonomous, that can run itself and decide for itself, it's only a matter of time.

01:20:49.000 It's not a matter of, this is not like H.G. Wells science fiction 200 years ago, like we're just guessing.

01:20:55.000 It's just choices.

01:20:56.000 This is like you could see it coming.

01:20:57.000 They already have machine learning, they already have certain artificial intelligence that guesses certain things about you. 1.00

01:21:05.000 But Siri is still a dumb cunt. 1.00

01:21:08.000 What's better, Bixby or Siri, though? 0.99

01:21:10.000 I haven't tried Bixby, but I don't know.

01:21:11.000 Bixby is Samsung's version of Siri.

01:21:14.000 I haven't heard Bixby yet.

01:21:14.000 What's the voice-like?

01:21:16.000 I don't know.

01:21:17.000 I never use it.

01:21:18.000 I have a Samsung phone.

01:21:19.000 It's incredibly effective, yeah, but it has a terrible voice.

01:21:21.000 They make you keep that button, too, while you map it out to anything else.

01:21:25.000 Is it the voice of Bill Bixby?

01:21:26.000 Because that'd be really cool.

01:21:27.000 Oh, right.

01:21:27.000 From the Hulk?

01:21:28.000 Yeah.

01:21:28.000 No.

01:21:29.000 Or Court of Eddie's Father, if you're right.

01:21:31.000 How you doing, son?

01:21:32.000 I never knew those words.

01:21:37.000 He's a warm-hearted person who loves you till the end.

01:21:41.000 To the end.

01:21:42.000 I forgot about that.

01:21:43.000 And he had that hot Japanese lady that was his housekeeper, but he never hooked up with her. 0.85

01:21:47.000 I was like, come on, she's right there, bro.

01:21:49.000 She seems real nice.

01:21:51.000 She seems lonely, too.

01:21:52.000 You don't have a wife anymore.

01:21:54.000 You're not seeing what's obvious.

01:21:56.000 I didn't get it.

01:21:57.000 I'm like, how are you not with her, man?

01:21:58.000 She's so nice to your kid.

01:22:00.000 You guys are making a sweet family.

01:22:01.000 To be fair, the show didn't run very long.

01:22:04.000 Maybe if you had gotten five or six more seasons.

01:22:06.000 I thought it was on Netflix or something.

01:22:08.000 They would have pushed that angle.

01:22:09.000 I started watching The Magician a little bit.

01:22:12.000 Have you seen that?

01:22:13.000 What is that?

01:22:14.000 Oh, God.

01:22:15.000 What is that?

01:22:16.000 One of the worst of all time.

01:22:17.000 It was one of the CBS movie mysteries.

01:22:20.000 It was like with Columbo and...

01:22:21.000 It was terrible.

01:22:22.000 Really?

01:22:23.000 On every level.

01:22:24.000 Yeah, he was the magician.

01:22:25.000 He used his magic to solve crimes.

01:22:26.000 He solved crimes.

01:22:27.000 No.

01:22:28.000 Is he magic?

01:22:29.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

01:22:30.000 How do you solve crimes with magic?

01:22:31.000 You don't.

01:22:32.000 You don't.

01:22:32.000 You just do magic.

01:22:34.000 Oh, and you pretend you're solving crimes?

01:22:35.000 And then someone else solves a crime.

01:22:37.000 Yeah, it's probably a producer's idea, right?

01:22:39.000 Hey, I got an idea, guys.

01:22:41.000 Here's the show.

01:22:41.000 A magician who solves crime.

01:22:43.000 Sell it.

01:22:44.000 I got another meeting.

01:22:45.000 I gotta go.

01:22:46.000 And he leaves.

01:22:48.000 I've got to show it.

01:22:51.000 I'm doing a cruise.

01:22:52.000 They gave me a pitch once.

01:22:53.000 It was a guy who was immortal.

01:22:55.000 He was an Egyptian.

01:22:56.000 This was a pitch to me.

01:22:58.000 I was going to play this guy who was immortal.

01:23:00.000 So far, it's good casting.

01:23:01.000 Immortal, Egyptian, like a god. 0.98

01:23:04.000 Yeah, something happened back then and a woman put a curse on me because I was banging her sister or something like that.

01:23:10.000 And the curse was that you would live forever.

01:23:13.000 So here I was, many thousands of years later, I had to pretend that I was a regular person, and I could never die, and that was the sitcom.

01:23:20.000 That was a sitcom?

01:23:21.000 Yes.

01:23:22.000 That was a sitcom?

01:23:22.000 It was a sitcom.

01:23:23.000 It was the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my life. 0.99

01:23:25.000 Great as a one-hour drama. 1.00

01:23:26.000 Yeah, I was like, do you solve crimes?

01:23:28.000 You know, I knew it was going to be a problem when I met the guy, and he was wearing bowling shoes, but he wasn't going bowling. 1.00

01:23:32.000 Oh, that means he's an asshole. 1.00

01:23:34.000 Those motherfuckers. 1.00

01:23:35.000 That fucker's an asshole. 1.00

01:23:36.000 I'm wacky! 1.00

01:23:36.000 Look, I got bowling shoes on! 1.00

01:23:38.000 You got a lot of character.

01:23:39.000 My shoes are interesting.

01:23:40.000 Wait a second, I used to do that.

01:23:42.000 Well, do you remember when there was the writer teams, but it was always the one guy who was the typer and the other guy was really funny?

01:23:49.000 Yeah.

01:23:49.000 You know, there was a lot of those teams.

01:23:51.000 And those teams would branch off and one of those guys would get a lot of money.

01:23:55.000 And then, you know, they would go, oh, we got the wrong guy!

01:23:59.000 Yeah!

01:23:59.000 You got the typer.

01:24:00.000 We paid the fucking typer. 1.00

01:24:02.000 We paid the typer. 1.00

01:24:03.000 There was a lot of that with the teams.

01:24:05.000 The teams always seemed to be like one really talented person who was kind of maybe introspective and weird.

01:24:10.000 And he eventually figured out, oh, I can just hire a typist.

01:24:13.000 And he got rid of that guy, but then that guy got a big development deal.

01:24:18.000 Remember development deals?

01:24:19.000 Oh my god, I had so many of them.

01:24:23.000 I had one one year where they gave me a shit ton of money and we never did anything.

01:24:28.000 I got free money.

01:24:30.000 Free money.

01:24:31.000 I had about four right after NewsRadio.

01:24:33.000 Did you?

01:24:34.000 Yeah.

01:24:35.000 And we create smaller and smaller networks each time.

01:24:38.000 Yeah, right.

01:24:39.000 You get down to the CW. You know you got an issue.

01:24:41.000 I might have to actually write something now.

01:24:43.000 Cooking Channel.

01:24:44.000 So what is your more recent obsession about UFOs?

01:24:51.000 What's the origin of this?

01:24:52.000 Well, part of it is just the fact that the evidence, just the evidence itself, says you have to take this seriously.

01:25:00.000 And yet no one does.

01:25:02.000 Or very, very few people do.

01:25:03.000 I mean, even like, again, that F-16 footage, that even Neil deGrasse Tyson, who is a great skeptic, said, on one of the late night talks, he said, well, if you really want to look at the possibility of some non-human intelligence, that F-16 stuff is pretty compelling.

01:25:21.000 What is the F-16 stuff?

01:25:24.000 That's the stuff that To the Stars Academy put out.

01:25:26.000 It was the CIA. Oh, yeah, Tom DeLonge?

01:25:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:25:29.000 He's crazy. 0.99

01:25:29.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:25:29.000 I've never met him. 0.99

01:25:31.000 Is he?

01:25:31.000 Oh, yeah.

01:25:32.000 Very nice guy.

01:25:33.000 What do you see in the footage?

01:25:34.000 He's a very nice guy and a brilliant musician. 0.62

01:25:37.000 And he's a loon.

01:25:38.000 Yeah, I've never met him. 1.00

01:25:39.000 He's a fucking full-on believer. 1.00

01:25:41.000 I mean, he left Blink-182 to go do this To The Stars Academy shit. 1.00

01:25:46.000 He's the biggest goddamn rock band on the planet. 0.99

01:25:48.000 Okay, here's something interesting about this. 0.99

01:25:52.000 This was pointed out by, okay, a video film by a fighter jet shows an unknown object near San Diego.

01:26:00.000 Video from 2004 was released by the U.S. Department of Defense.

01:26:06.000 Wow, the way it moves.

01:26:07.000 There's something about the way it moves is really weird, huh?

01:26:10.000 Could it be a jet, though?

01:26:11.000 Jets can move that way.

01:26:12.000 One of the pilots told the media the object was not from this world.

01:26:15.000 Hmm.

01:26:16.000 Yeah.

01:26:16.000 And here's the thing.

01:26:17.000 The skeptics, in order to dismiss it, they have to make arguments that jet fighters are not better observers than anyone else.

01:26:25.000 Pull up Mick Ward's take on that.

01:26:28.000 Mick Ward, the guy who runs a debunking site.

01:26:34.000 And he's another one of those guys that is all in with the...

01:26:40.000 The conventional explanation.

01:26:42.000 He goes way out of his way to not look at anything that could be remotely conspiracy.

01:26:46.000 Which is the opposite of Occam's Razor.

01:26:48.000 Yes, yes.

01:26:48.000 Occam's Razor says that if you have to go to great lengths to dismiss something, that's not following Occam's Razor.

01:26:56.000 Right.

01:26:57.000 Occam's Razor says, if the jet pilot says he saw this, he saw it.

01:27:01.000 I think he had an interesting take on it, though.

01:27:03.000 One of the things is there's a time during the video where the pilot shifted from 1x to 2x, which makes the image move more because you have magnification.

01:27:15.000 Like, have you ever used magnifying glasses or binos?

01:27:18.000 Like, if you use 15x binos, it's very difficult to hold on a subject.

01:27:22.000 But 6x, you can kind of look at things in the distance.

01:27:25.000 Yeah, but that's if you don't have...

01:27:27.000 About $3 million worth of stabilization equipment on your jet locked onto this object.

01:27:33.000 Which is why that stays in lock.

01:27:35.000 He had an explanation though that was kind of interesting.

01:27:37.000 And when it breaks free of the lock, that's unbelievable.

01:27:41.000 How does it take off?

01:27:41.000 Does it just take off or something like that?

01:27:43.000 At one point, the object just breaks free of the lock.

01:27:45.000 And that's almost impossible.

01:27:48.000 I have a question.

01:27:49.000 It's impossible for anything that man has built to do.

01:27:51.000 With the quality of cameras today, why is this footage so shitty?

01:27:57.000 This is infrared footage. 0.64

01:27:59.000 Infrared.

01:27:59.000 Yeah, I mean, you need this when you're shooting at things in the sky.

01:28:02.000 You can't rely on visualizations.

01:28:03.000 It's a blurry blob.

01:28:04.000 Well, you're looking at heat.

01:28:05.000 You're looking at heat signals.

01:28:07.000 Because visually, it's so far...

01:28:08.000 So far, it would be...

01:28:10.000 Escaping the rabbit hole.

01:28:11.000 How to debunk conspiracy theories using fact, logic, and respect.

01:28:14.000 So what is he saying?

01:28:15.000 What is he saying?

01:28:16.000 The program... 1.00

01:28:17.000 Make that a little larger for my stupid eyes. 1.00

01:28:21.000 We said, for all we make sure you are talking about the right video. 0.99

01:28:24.000 There's two that are confused.

01:28:26.000 Here we're talking about the gimbal video, which is not from the Nimitz incident, which is discussed here.

01:28:31.000 So scroll down a little bit.

01:28:34.000 The gimbal video is an...

01:28:36.000 Okay, yeah, that's the one we're looking at.

01:28:38.000 It's an unknown date and location from unknown pilots.

01:28:41.000 Nope.

01:28:42.000 The TikTok one is from San Diego.

01:28:44.000 Those are known pilots.

01:28:45.000 Yeah.

01:28:45.000 That's 2004. Okay, that's David Ferver.

01:28:48.000 The media's discussed these videos.

01:28:50.000 Tom DeLonge to the stars.

01:28:51.000 The link contains the frames.

01:28:53.000 What's he saying?

01:28:54.000 Keep going, keep going, keep going.

01:28:58.000 The black shape on the object, some kind of infrared flare, glare.

01:29:02.000 We know the shape of a very bright infrared source.

01:29:05.000 Like the engine of a plane can be much bigger than the object itself, as explained here.

01:29:10.000 Okay, so there's like a flare.

01:29:11.000 Mm-hmm.

01:29:12.000 That doesn't explain the movement.

01:29:13.000 No, that doesn't explain the movement.

01:29:14.000 It doesn't explain, again, Occam's Razor is, okay, so this guy debunking it.

01:29:20.000 This guy's saying it's a jet.

01:29:20.000 Look at it.

01:29:21.000 It looks nothing like it.

01:29:23.000 Well, even if it is a jet, a jet's not capable of breaking free from the lock, right?

01:29:28.000 Yeah.

01:29:29.000 If you lock onto it.

01:29:29.000 And if you look at that, you can see the jet.

01:29:31.000 His own example debunks his debunking.

01:29:34.000 Right.

01:29:35.000 Need not be moving.

01:29:37.000 Yeah.

01:29:37.000 The video need not be moving.

01:29:38.000 And it's also the assumption that this guy doing probably a few hours research has come up with something that is more credible than Than a trained fighter pilot who is there and visually seeing it.

01:29:51.000 What do you think it is?

01:29:51.000 And tracking it.

01:29:52.000 If you had a guess.

01:29:53.000 I don't know.

01:29:53.000 Let's get crazy.

01:29:54.000 Oh, I think it is an intelligent craft.

01:29:58.000 It is a craft being piloted intelligently.

01:30:01.000 Why aren't they talking to us? 1.00

01:30:03.000 We're fucking apes. 1.00

01:30:06.000 We're assholes. 1.00

01:30:09.000 Leaving fucking plastic straws everywhere. 1.00

01:30:12.000 Oh, we cured it! 1.00

01:30:14.000 No more plastic straws! 0.96

01:30:15.000 When you were a kid looking at an ant colony, you didn't go, listen to me, ants.

01:30:20.000 You just looked at them.

01:30:22.000 No, I agree.

01:30:23.000 And they say, why don't they go to the White House?

01:30:25.000 And they say, well, why would you, when you look at an aunt, Colin, you go, I must speak to the Queen.

01:30:30.000 Right.

01:30:30.000 Yes.

01:30:31.000 I've always said that.

01:30:32.000 No, you just look at ants. 0.63

01:30:33.000 Yeah, that's the most ridiculous thing about, like, the old movies. 0.72

01:30:38.000 Like, the old movies, it would land on the White House lawn. 0.77

01:30:40.000 Right.

01:30:41.000 Right?

01:30:42.000 Yeah.

01:30:43.000 Like, what is it?

01:30:45.000 Dave Yersted Still.

01:30:46.000 That's it, yeah.

01:30:47.000 Yeah.

01:30:52.000 Yeah, that's the day the earth still was like, what was that, 1940 or something?

01:30:57.000 50s.

01:30:58.000 55. Fucking great. 0.99

01:31:00.000 Great movie. 0.99

01:31:01.000 I watched it really recently.

01:31:02.000 Because it's a Christ parable.

01:31:04.000 I love Christ parables.

01:31:05.000 A little bit, right?

01:31:05.000 Christ stories are great.

01:31:06.000 He was a Christ parable. 0.65

01:31:07.000 His name was John Carpenter.

01:31:09.000 Oh.

01:31:09.000 Oh, that's right.

01:31:10.000 JC. That's right.

01:31:12.000 Christ was a carpenter.

01:31:13.000 What do they do?

01:31:13.000 They shoot that object out of his hand the first second he pulls it out.

01:31:16.000 Do you remember he has that thing that's going to cure cancer?

01:31:18.000 Yeah, they shoot him. 0.97

01:31:18.000 They shoot him. 0.97

01:31:19.000 And they just shoot it out of his hand immediately. 0.61

01:31:21.000 And at the end of the movie, he is killed and resurrected.

01:31:25.000 That's right, yeah.

01:31:27.000 He's taken by the robot.

01:31:29.000 Yeah, the robot.

01:31:31.000 Love that robot.

01:31:33.000 Very tall.

01:31:34.000 Yeah, and he looked like you would want a robot to look in 1950. Yes, smooth.

01:31:41.000 All metal and shit, smooth. 1.00

01:31:43.000 Yeah, chrome. 0.99

01:31:44.000 Yeah, those were the days we thought that they would communicate.

01:31:48.000 Wasn't there a whole rash of them that were seen over Washington, D.C.? Yeah, there was dozens.

01:31:54.000 Dozens of UFOs tracked and admitted by the government that they were tracking them and watching them.

01:32:00.000 But at the end, their explanation was, nothing particularly important.

01:32:06.000 You know, we have a mutual friend who claims...

01:32:08.000 I won't say her name, but she claims she was... 0.77

01:32:10.000 No, and I feel bad because I wrote her off as a lunatic when I first heard her name.

01:32:13.000 Yeah, well, she was claimed to be abducted.

01:32:16.000 And then I was doing a show with her years ago, and she's telling us the story.

01:32:20.000 And we're all like, uh-huh, that's pretty funny.

01:32:22.000 And she says, and then they took a scoop out of my back.

01:32:25.000 And I'm like, a scoop?

01:32:27.000 They took a scoop out of your back?

01:32:28.000 And she showed on her back shoulder there was a hexagonal diamond-shaped scoop out of her back. 1.00

01:32:36.000 A divot.

01:32:38.000 It was hexagonal.

01:32:39.000 Yeah, that was...

01:32:41.000 Clearly?

01:32:41.000 Clearly.

01:32:42.000 And no scar tissue. 1.00

01:32:44.000 Maybe she's a crazy bitch. 1.00

01:32:45.000 No scar tissue, man. 1.00

01:32:45.000 I know how to make this story stick. 1.00

01:32:47.000 Give myself a little punch.

01:32:49.000 A hole punch back there. 0.94

01:32:51.000 I worked at a bookstore at the time, years ago, and I went into the alien section.

01:32:55.000 It was the world's biggest bookstore in Toronto.

01:32:57.000 And of course I went to the alien section and just looked all this crap up immediately and there are other people.

01:33:03.000 Yeah.

01:33:03.000 With the scoop.

01:33:05.000 There's a lot of other people with abduction stories, and some of them have little pieces of something in their body.

01:33:11.000 I remember you talking to me about this many, many years ago.

01:33:13.000 I was like, oh, Dave's interested.

01:33:15.000 It was like implants.

01:33:16.000 You were talking about people that have alien implants in their body.

01:33:20.000 Yeah.

01:33:20.000 And that's the thing.

01:33:21.000 To me, it's just...

01:33:23.000 I guess the thing that I'm kind of obsessed with now is just the...

01:33:27.000 Because we're comedians.

01:33:28.000 Yes.

01:33:29.000 And the power of ridicule...

01:33:32.000 To silence debate is unbelievably potent.

01:33:36.000 And we're part of that.

01:33:38.000 We're part of the machinery that was used very, very consciously by the government to silence any inquiry.

01:33:45.000 It was like feeding the story the right way to late night talk show hosts.

01:33:51.000 Made it so that nobody would talk about it.

01:33:54.000 So do you think that the government consciously fed those ideas to, like, Johnny Carson and those folks?

01:33:59.000 Yeah, I think there's documentation to make the UFO phenomena ridiculous.

01:34:08.000 Do you think they did that to avoid mass hysteria?

01:34:11.000 Like, if you're the government and you know there's nothing out there, but you see these people freaking out, you go, okay, look... 0.98

01:34:17.000 We've used all of our military might, all of our scientific power, and we don't see shit. 0.97

01:34:22.000 I'm not buying this, but these people are freaking out. 0.61

01:34:24.000 This has the real potential to get out of hand and go sideways on us.

01:34:27.000 Let's just start making fun of this.

01:34:29.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:34:31.000 I think it's more likely that there's something there that they feel powerless to control.

01:34:35.000 Do you think Kennedy was taken down into the basement of whatever and shown the alien sitting there?

01:34:40.000 This is what I say about aliens in regards to Trump. 0.99

01:34:45.000 If there's anybody that would fucking tell us, it's Trump. 0.99

01:34:48.000 It's him. 0.99

01:34:48.000 He'd tweet it. 0.99

01:34:48.000 Tweet it immediately. 0.99

01:34:49.000 He would tweet it.

01:34:50.000 He would tweet it in all caps.

01:34:52.000 UFOs are real, but CNN is fake.

01:34:55.000 Yeah.

01:34:56.000 Yeah.

01:35:01.000 The failing New York Times fails to find UFOs because they're real.

01:35:05.000 I'm looking at one right now.

01:35:07.000 I'm at Area 51. If the government does have the evidence, they are never going to show it to Trump.

01:35:12.000 Right, that's the problem. 0.97

01:35:13.000 What the fuck's the point in being president if you can't find out about UFOs? 0.99

01:35:16.000 If I knew that to become president meant you get all the access to UFOs, I might go, huh. 0.99

01:35:21.000 Yeah.

01:35:22.000 Okay.

01:35:23.000 I'm not going to try for that.

01:35:24.000 The presidents who have tried haven't gotten there.

01:35:26.000 No, no one gets it.

01:35:27.000 Like Jimmy Carter.

01:35:28.000 Jimmy Carter said he had a UFO experience.

01:35:31.000 Yeah, he saw something, right?

01:35:32.000 Yeah.

01:35:32.000 He said he saw something.

01:35:33.000 But see, that was back in the 70s where everybody was seeing shit. 0.99

01:35:38.000 They were all talking about things. 0.99

01:35:39.000 It was part of the zeitgeist.

01:35:41.000 It was.

01:35:42.000 After Close Encounters of the Third Kind, especially, people were legitimately thinking that aliens were going to come.

01:35:48.000 Yeah, he proposed such a possible scenario in that movie.

01:36:18.000 For a spacecraft.

01:36:20.000 That they were within 20 feet of a craft that they saw and took notes on, did drawings of, yeah, they walked not even like right up against it.

01:36:29.000 And they wrote down notes, saw like different sort of hieroglyphs on the ship itself, described the feel of it, this electrostatic feel of being around it.

01:36:37.000 And the official explanation was they mistook a lighthouse several miles away for this spacecraft.

01:36:46.000 So Occam's Razor again says, That's hard to believe.

01:36:51.000 These trained observers, they always try to dismiss the idea that trained observers are better observers.

01:36:57.000 But they are better observers.

01:36:59.000 Sure.

01:37:00.000 In the age of today, where everyone has a high-definition camera in their pocket.

01:37:06.000 But have you taken a photograph of the moon on your phone?

01:37:10.000 It comes out super crappy.

01:37:11.000 It doesn't look like the moon.

01:37:12.000 That's true.

01:37:13.000 There's no details.

01:37:14.000 It comes out as a blur.

01:37:15.000 The lenses are too wide.

01:37:17.000 Hmm.

01:37:17.000 But Occam's Razor says, alright, they saw something.

01:37:22.000 Because what is the likelihood that trained observers who have been on this base for years on this night would mistake a lighthouse that they've seen every night for the entire time they've been on this base for a UFO? I mean, what is the likelihood that that explanation is correct?

01:37:39.000 I'm not aware of that story.

01:37:40.000 Oh, Rendlesham Forest?

01:37:41.000 Yeah.

01:37:42.000 How do you say it?

01:37:42.000 Bentwoods?

01:37:44.000 Rendlesham?

01:37:48.000 Rendlesham?

01:37:49.000 Rendlesham Forest.

01:37:50.000 Sounds like a character actor on Columbo.

01:37:54.000 And it's a nuclear installation.

01:37:58.000 And Rendlesham Forest.

01:37:59.000 The nuclear installations are always ripe with UFO stories.

01:38:03.000 What year was this?

01:38:05.000 This was in the 80s.

01:38:06.000 1980. Interesting.

01:38:09.000 And it's, you know, and instead, obviously, the obvious explanation is, well, not the explanation, but the only thing you can accept is that these observers saw something and described it accurately.

01:38:17.000 Is it something that had crashed?

01:38:19.000 If you want to say that, no, it came down, was landed in the forest, and took off.

01:38:26.000 What do you think of the Roswell case?

01:38:27.000 The night before that, Roswell, I think it's probably true.

01:38:31.000 Real?

01:38:31.000 You're all in.

01:38:32.000 Yeah.

01:38:32.000 Wow, Dave, I never knew that about you.

01:38:34.000 But I mean, because...

01:38:35.000 It's interesting.

01:38:35.000 Again, because the cover stories for it are so much less believable than an alien.

01:38:41.000 Yeah, I used to have a joke about it.

01:38:42.000 Yeah.

01:38:42.000 That they put on the paper that they have recovered a crashed UFO and alien bodies.

01:38:47.000 And the next day they said, oh, we made a mistake, it was just a balloon.

01:38:50.000 What about the aliens? 0.82

01:38:54.000 Those are Mexicans. 0.99

01:38:55.000 They're Mexicans. 1.00

01:38:56.000 They were drinking.

01:38:57.000 Apparently they thought the balloon was a pinata.

01:39:00.000 They got a little crazy.

01:39:01.000 I can't believe in you right now.

01:39:02.000 But we just invented some new stuff out of nowhere.

01:39:05.000 And then 30 years later, they go, oh, they were high-altitude dummies that we were dropping to test how they would fall.

01:39:13.000 And now we have lasers and invisibility cloaks.

01:39:16.000 Well, they showed up again the next day with a bunch of weather balloon scraps and they're like, look, this is it.

01:39:22.000 Oh, the guy holding it up?

01:39:23.000 What they don't tell you is that they flew the wreckage out to Wright-Patterson Air Force in two separate planes and that Truman met them there.

01:39:30.000 Yeah.

01:39:31.000 Yeah.

01:39:32.000 Yeah.

01:39:32.000 So, I mean, again, the more rational...

01:39:35.000 Two separate planes.

01:39:35.000 Yeah, because they were worried that one would crash.

01:39:37.000 Yeah.

01:39:38.000 The weather balloon thing is not as rational as something weird happened.

01:39:43.000 Listen, I want it to be an alien so bad that I question myself. 1.00

01:39:48.000 So that's my problem with all that stuff.

01:39:50.000 But again, I won't, like, I'll be skeptical about stuff that just seems crazy.

01:39:55.000 Or people that, you know, sort of ascribe some sort of metaphysical explanation for all this.

01:40:00.000 My...

01:40:02.000 Well, if the preponderance of the evidence says something happened, but doesn't tell you what happened, then you still have to believe something happened.

01:40:09.000 Not knowing what happened isn't evidence that it didn't happen.

01:40:12.000 And yet you're still a flat earther.

01:40:14.000 Yeah.

01:40:15.000 Well, have you looked outside?

01:40:18.000 It seems flat.

01:40:20.000 Have you studied hashtag space is fake?

01:40:24.000 No.

01:40:25.000 What's that?

01:40:26.000 Space is fake. 1.00

01:40:29.000 There's people that are so dumb, they think the earth is flat, and there's people that are so dumb, they make fun of the people that are dumber than them. 1.00

01:40:37.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:40:38.000 They think that space is fake.

01:40:40.000 Space is fake.

01:40:41.000 There's no space.

01:40:43.000 No space.

01:40:44.000 What is it then?

01:40:45.000 Well, that's the holographic theory.

01:40:47.000 When you Google it, it's really religious.

01:40:50.000 It's all about the firmament and the Bible.

01:40:53.000 Oh, that makes sense.

01:40:55.000 It's very strange.

01:40:57.000 The stars are hung in the sky over Earth.

01:40:58.000 Which you would call like YouTube people.

01:41:02.000 Here it is.

01:41:03.000 And you know what?

01:41:04.000 I have to pee again because I'm 56. Wow, that's incredible.

01:41:07.000 Human Explorer Ocean.

01:41:09.000 Is that the title?

01:41:10.000 I understand.

01:41:11.000 I have to be sometimes.

01:41:13.000 Yeah, hashtag space is fake.

01:41:15.000 Human dug earth. 0.99

01:41:17.000 Yeah.

01:41:19.000 Human Explore Ocean.

01:41:21.000 Suddenly they can discover a thousand miles out of space.

01:41:23.000 It's really well written, though.

01:41:24.000 Yeah, super, super compelling.

01:41:25.000 Suddenly they can discover a thousand miles out of space.

01:41:28.000 I wonder how many of those, I was talking to you about Renee DiResta, who's the woman who studies all these Russian troll farms, and they mock people. 0.51

01:41:34.000 I wonder how much of that is them, that the Russians, like, they have a side flat earth, space is fake department, where they just mock, because it's always in English. 0.98

01:41:44.000 I don't think there's a lot of flat earth Russian proponents.

01:41:47.000 God, if I was one of those Russian guys, I would want that to be my department.

01:41:51.000 Yeah, I just...

01:41:52.000 They call people globetards.

01:41:55.000 What?

01:41:56.000 Or globeheads.

01:41:57.000 Yeah, if you believe in the earth is round.

01:41:58.000 If you believe it's round?

01:41:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:42:00.000 Globetards.

01:42:01.000 I've saved some of these memes because they're so wonderful.

01:42:04.000 They're just like, this is rich.

01:42:06.000 I had the worst Uber ride with a guy.

01:42:08.000 No.

01:42:08.000 Who was...

01:42:09.000 A flat earther?

01:42:12.000 Yeah, and he was a computer programmer.

01:42:15.000 What?

01:42:16.000 Yeah.

01:42:16.000 A computer programmer slash flat earther?

01:42:18.000 Yeah.

01:42:19.000 That's why he's driving an Uber and not working at NASA. And he smiled the whole time while he drove me crazy.

01:42:26.000 He drove me.

01:42:27.000 He knew what he was doing, I think.

01:42:28.000 He was doing it on purpose?

01:42:29.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:42:30.000 So how did he start it off?

01:42:31.000 So, I bet you're one of those guys who believes the Earth's round, huh?

01:42:34.000 Well, I talked about the beautiful view from the plane.

01:42:37.000 He picked me up at the airport.

01:42:38.000 Yeah.

01:42:39.000 And, you know, it's so beautiful, the sunset over the curvature of the earth.

01:42:43.000 That's how it started.

01:42:44.000 And he goes, well, not really the curvature of the earth.

01:42:49.000 That's how it started.

01:42:50.000 And he would not stop.

01:42:52.000 Oh, my God.

01:42:53.000 To the point where I was, I think, I think I tore my clothes off.

01:42:57.000 Yeah.

01:43:00.000 You made me so insane.

01:43:02.000 There's so many of them now.

01:43:03.000 And, you know, we've uncovered the origins of it or what we think the origins of it.

01:43:07.000 It was a troll from 4chan.

01:43:09.000 4chan was fucking around and they started promoting this idea that the earth is actually flat. 0.98

01:43:13.000 That's where it started? 0.96

01:43:14.000 A lot of things start from that. 0.64

01:43:15.000 That's disgusting.

01:43:16.000 That's where the free bleeding movement started from.

01:43:19.000 I don't know what that is.

01:43:19.000 Women are expressing their power by not controlling their menstrual cycle with pads or tampons just bleeding into their pants to show their power.

01:43:28.000 Yeah, they did it on 4chan as a joke and the women started doing it in real life. 1.00

01:43:32.000 Doing it for real.

01:43:32.000 Yeah, they thought it was like, this is a way to like, these people are disgusted by menstrual blood.

01:43:37.000 Well, fuck them. 1.00

01:43:38.000 Here's some for you. 1.00

01:43:38.000 Yeah, shit on the patriarchy by showing your pussy blood. 1.00

01:43:41.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:43:45.000 It's so crazy. 1.00

01:43:47.000 That's crazy.

01:43:48.000 It makes me want to start one.

01:43:49.000 Oh, 4chan is the best.

01:43:50.000 They're so good at that. 0.99

01:43:52.000 They're so good at starting these goofy ass fucking little movements and then getting people behind it. 1.00

01:43:57.000 It's like a game. 1.00

01:43:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:43:59.000 It's a game.

01:44:00.000 Well, you know what it is?

01:44:01.000 It's probably a bunch of really smart people.

01:44:03.000 Right. 0.97

01:44:03.000 Some of them not so smart, but some of them really smart that are stuck at their desks and they're bored as shit with some computer job somewhere. 0.97

01:44:09.000 What can I think of? 1.00

01:44:10.000 In the meantime, they just decide to fuck with people. 1.00

01:44:13.000 Right. 0.99

01:44:13.000 We're talking about flat earthers and free bleeding, the free bleeding movement, which was also started by 4chan. 0.99

01:44:21.000 Yeah, 4chan started this movement where women would express their power by not controlling their menstrual cycle, by just letting the blood leak out into their pants. 1.00

01:44:29.000 And they did it as a joke that 4chan did, and women started actually doing it. 0.92

01:44:34.000 It caught on.

01:44:34.000 Yeah.

01:44:35.000 A lot of these things, it's so hard to mock.

01:44:39.000 It's so hard to figure out what is mockery and what's real.

01:44:43.000 Exactly.

01:44:43.000 What is parody and what's reality?

01:44:46.000 Everything's blurred now.

01:44:46.000 What's the onion?

01:44:47.000 The onion is, you know...

01:44:49.000 Do you know the James Lindsay, Peter Boghossian...

01:44:54.000 What's the other woman's name? 0.86

01:44:55.000 The woman that we didn't meet?

01:44:56.000 The Grievance Studies hoaxes?

01:44:58.000 No.

01:45:01.000 Peter Boghossian is a professor at the University of Portland.

01:45:04.000 And I think that's the school.

01:45:07.000 He's in Portland.

01:45:08.000 And he decided to, with these other academics, publish these fake papers on, like, rape in dog parks and, like, cis-normative, like...

01:45:24.000 To see what would happen?

01:45:26.000 No, people loved them. 0.97

01:45:28.000 Ridiculous things like fat bodybuilding, like bodybuilding contests for fat people, to talk about the importance of these things. 0.95

01:45:36.000 Things that you would read and you would think would be obviously a parody. 1.00

01:45:40.000 Someone's fucking around. 0.94

01:45:41.000 They submit these academic journals, not only get published, but they get praised for their scholarship. 0.99

01:45:48.000 And then they came out and said, hey, we were fucking with you guys. 0.96

01:45:51.000 This is all a joke. 0.99

01:45:51.000 Too late. 0.99

01:45:52.000 It's out there. 1.00

01:45:53.000 And you guys love these papers, you morons. 0.99

01:45:55.000 And this is part of the problem with the humanities today, is that things are so sideways in terms of like, it's so difficult to find out what's parody and what's reality. 0.99

01:46:07.000 Yeah.

01:46:09.000 It's insane.

01:46:10.000 It's an insane time.

01:46:12.000 It is insane as it gets.

01:46:13.000 Yeah.

01:46:14.000 Yeah.

01:46:15.000 It's very unsettling.

01:46:17.000 It's very unsettling.

01:46:18.000 To not know if someone's having me on or not.

01:46:21.000 Exactly.

01:46:21.000 Yeah.

01:46:22.000 And well, there's very, all the structures that used, that for good or for bad, would filter things down are gone.

01:46:30.000 Yeah.

01:46:31.000 You know, like we, you know, everything was handed over to powerful people who filtered what we were given to know.

01:46:36.000 There used to be an agreement of common sense that used to hang around.

01:46:41.000 I think the cure is mind reading, and I think we're going to accept that cure.

01:46:46.000 Because, you know, Elon is working on some sort of neural link thing.

01:46:50.000 It's the only way we'll know if someone's telling the truth.

01:46:51.000 We're going to have it.

01:46:52.000 I think we're going to accept it, and we're going to give in.

01:46:55.000 And we're going to be able to – I'll take it another step further.

01:46:59.000 I think they're going to create a universal language.

01:47:01.000 I've been thinking about this a lot.

01:47:02.000 I think there's going to be a universal language that probably is augmented reality, some augmented reality language of shapes or something.

01:47:10.000 Yeah, some kind of symbolism.

01:47:12.000 Symbols.

01:47:13.000 Yeah, something that we agree to.

01:47:14.000 And we're probably not going to accept it because we're old. 0.99

01:47:17.000 We're like, fuck this. 1.00

01:47:17.000 Next generation. 1.00

01:47:18.000 Our kids, maybe even our kids' kids.

01:47:20.000 Our kids' kids are going to be the first people to adopt it, and then it's going to be universal worldwide.

01:47:24.000 And with augmented reality and...

01:47:27.000 Some sort of ability to interact with each other through bandwidth.

01:47:33.000 I remember the first time I heard about cochlear implants.

01:47:36.000 That's the first thing that popped in my head is, this is the start.

01:47:38.000 This is the first interface.

01:47:40.000 You're now officially a...

01:47:42.000 You're a cyborg.

01:47:43.000 If you have a cochlear implant, you are a cyborg.

01:47:45.000 Yeah, you're a six million dollar woman. 1.00

01:47:46.000 People with Apple Watches on.

01:47:48.000 You're wearing an Apple Watch.

01:47:49.000 What is that?

01:47:50.000 You have a computer that's constantly strapped to you all the time.

01:47:53.000 Measuring you.

01:47:54.000 Monitoring your heart rate.

01:47:55.000 Well, we've been sitting here, when we don't know something, accessing the entire store of human knowledge.

01:48:03.000 Jamie's our cyborg.

01:48:04.000 We're accessing all of human knowledge in an instant.

01:48:07.000 Anytime we want.

01:48:08.000 That was Elon's other thing that he said on the podcast.

01:48:11.000 You're already a cyborg.

01:48:12.000 You have a phone.

01:48:13.000 It's not in your body, but it's something you're holding on to.

01:48:16.000 Yeah.

01:48:17.000 It's voluntary cyborg.

01:48:18.000 Did you guys read Third Wave years ago?

01:48:20.000 Was that a book you ever got into?

01:48:21.000 No.

01:48:22.000 That was the prediction of all this.

01:48:24.000 Really?

01:48:24.000 Yeah, and it's in the early 80s.

01:48:27.000 And it was a prediction, and the one thing Third Wave predicted was that the next generation The first line in it, I remember, was that it's all about information.

01:48:37.000 It's all going to be about sharing information.

01:48:39.000 Someone's going to figure out a way to share information.

01:48:42.000 Well, that's when I saw the cochlear implant.

01:48:44.000 I thought, well, if you're, alright, so your brain is interpreting an electronic signal as information directly.

01:48:51.000 It's bypassing the ear entirely.

01:48:53.000 And it's just a neuronal connection.

01:48:56.000 And I thought, well, that eventually is how we will access the internet.

01:49:00.000 We'll access the internet as though it is our own thoughts.

01:49:04.000 As easily as I remember your name, I'll remember any other fact that is on record.

01:49:08.000 So then it will be the Matrix and we'll all be part of the same brain.

01:49:11.000 Yeah, except we won't be sitting in pods somewhere.

01:49:13.000 Speak for yourself.

01:49:15.000 It initially will be like a peripheral thing.

01:49:16.000 You'll be able to tap into it or not as you wish.

01:49:19.000 But I think as time goes on, it's going to be more and more integrated.

01:49:23.000 You want to distinguish it from your own mind.

01:49:25.000 Like, you used to have to go to a computer that was hardwired into the wall, and you'd have to dial up to get online.

01:49:31.000 Yeah.

01:49:31.000 Now, everything's instantaneous.

01:49:33.000 It's in your phone, and this isn't... 0.95

01:49:34.000 I remember when we were on news radio, I first got an Apple computer and got online, and I was fucking fascinated.

01:49:41.000 I couldn't believe...

01:49:42.000 We did two CompuServe.

01:49:43.000 Yeah.

01:49:43.000 That's how we got on.

01:49:44.000 And to bring it all around, the first thing I did was download UFO reports.

01:49:48.000 Yeah.

01:49:48.000 I was downloading UFOs like a dork, like reading all these things.

01:49:52.000 We did a first chat with somebody, I remember, in 1993. Wow.

01:49:56.000 And it was because we had an office computer.

01:50:00.000 News Radio was the first time I had an email account.

01:50:02.000 I remember that and getting online.

01:50:05.000 I think I went to the Louvre's site.

01:50:08.000 Sure, to see what was on there.

01:50:09.000 And watched Hieronymus Bosch paintings download in about 30 minutes.

01:50:14.000 Yeah, right.

01:50:17.000 I downloaded the new versions of those.

01:50:19.000 It's like I'm at the Louvre.

01:50:20.000 I remember you had a program on your laptop.

01:50:23.000 This was like 96. You had a program on your laptop that kept crashing, but when it worked, it was amazing because it would give you the news.

01:50:32.000 Yes, as a screensaver.

01:50:33.000 Yes, as a screensaver.

01:50:35.000 That's amazing.

01:50:36.000 The news would just come up.

01:50:37.000 Yes.

01:50:38.000 Constantly, the constant flow of news.

01:50:39.000 You've always been very cutting edge with technology.

01:50:41.000 And I wish that still existed.

01:50:43.000 It doesn't exist anymore.

01:50:44.000 I don't even think it was Wi-Fi.

01:50:45.000 I think you had a plug-in.

01:50:47.000 I had an ISDN line in my house.

01:50:50.000 Oh, wow.

01:50:51.000 I remember.

01:50:52.000 Which gave me 128 kilobits per second downloads.

01:50:56.000 You were light years ahead of everybody I knew with all your tech.

01:50:59.000 Yeah, I had a T1 line installed in my house.

01:51:01.000 Oh, wow.

01:51:02.000 I lived in the woods.

01:51:05.000 It was the only way I could get really high speed internet access. 0.99

01:51:08.000 They had to carve a fucking hole in the ground and give me a business pipe. 0.98

01:51:11.000 Now 5G is around the corner, man. 0.99

01:51:14.000 5G is going to change everything.

01:51:16.000 They say it's going to be hundreds of times faster than 4G. It's comparable to a fiber optic link.

01:51:24.000 Yeah, on your phone.

01:51:25.000 I think CDs, those are gone now forever.

01:51:28.000 I save them, just in case.

01:51:30.000 Just in case.

01:51:31.000 You should.

01:51:31.000 Well, the real question is, where are we storing all this stuff if we're only storing it in ones and zeros?

01:51:36.000 Like we were talking about the demise of civilization in the past.

01:51:38.000 Right, they just blow that up, right?

01:51:39.000 But that's what probably...

01:51:42.000 I mean, every society probably, I don't think they reached that 10,000 years ago, but I think every society probably reaches some point where everything is just ones and zeros on a database somewhere, and then if that crashes...

01:51:54.000 But it's a physical place, right?

01:51:56.000 Where this stuff exists.

01:51:57.000 Well, some things.

01:51:58.000 Like all our Gmail accounts exist somewhere, right?

01:52:01.000 There's huge buildings with internet exchanges.

01:52:03.000 Sure.

01:52:03.000 But what if someone just drops a...

01:52:05.000 No, that's absolutely the case.

01:52:07.000 But also, if something happens and the grid goes down, and we're hit, right?

01:52:14.000 EMT. Fry everything.

01:52:16.000 Yeah, sure. 0.98

01:52:16.000 What Dr. Robert Schock was talking about, if there's a fucking lightning storm that really torches buildings and starts everything on fire. 0.98

01:52:24.000 Good luck accessing all that shit. 0.98

01:52:26.000 Not only that, if human beings just skip a generation, like if we have a generation of turmoil and chaos and then we slowly rebuild civilization, how many of those people are going to understand computer code? 0.99

01:52:37.000 How many of these people are going to understand Linux?

01:52:38.000 How many of these people that are coming up without any education from a formal university, no internet connection whatsoever for decades, perhaps hundreds of years?

01:52:47.000 It's like the resetting of civilization you talked about earlier.

01:52:49.000 Exactly.

01:52:50.000 We start all over again. 0.99

01:52:50.000 And that's when the aliens come because they know we can't do anything but draw shit on clay tablets. 0.99

01:52:54.000 Now's the time! 0.99

01:52:55.000 Yeah, they wait until we can't take pictures anymore and then they come back and re-engineer.

01:53:00.000 Yeah, right now they're just, you know, relying on the fact that nobody can frame a shot well.

01:53:05.000 The weirder thing about the alien theory was that they came down and genetically manipulated lower hominids.

01:53:12.000 Yeah, to create the human species.

01:53:15.000 That's the weirder one.

01:53:15.000 Or that they are a later evolved version of us coming back to check on us.

01:53:21.000 Right, right, right.

01:53:22.000 Yeah.

01:53:23.000 And that's the other thing, too, is about that archetypal image of the alien with the big head, with the big black eyes.

01:53:31.000 Is that if you go, you go down from Australopithecus to modern Homo sapien, if you make this connect, you see this hunched over, very hairy, almost chimp-like humanoid, and then standing up, 0.99

01:53:46.000 but losing all of its hair, and the head is much larger, doubling of the human brain size over a period of two million years.

01:53:53.000 Well, where's that going?

01:53:54.000 Is that going to keep going?

01:53:55.000 Well, if it keeps going, this is what you're going to get.

01:53:57.000 You're going to get a feeble thing.

01:53:58.000 Yeah. 0.92

01:53:58.000 A feeble thing with a giant head. 0.92

01:54:00.000 And that's what these aliens are. 0.99

01:54:01.000 They're always feeble with giant heads. 0.99

01:54:03.000 That's true. 0.98

01:54:04.000 They have terrible...

01:54:05.000 And if they've been living off Earth for a long time, then yeah, your body's, you know...

01:54:10.000 They're very out of shape. 0.99

01:54:11.000 Well, they also have no penises or vaginas, so they realize... 0.99

01:54:16.000 That saves a lot of time. 0.99

01:54:17.000 Yes!

01:54:17.000 That gives you time to get stuff done.

01:54:19.000 I'm all right.

01:54:20.000 And it's more of a meritocracy. 1.00

01:54:22.000 You're not banging people based on their tits and ass. 1.00

01:54:25.000 You don't have that anymore. 1.00

01:54:27.000 There's no more of that.

01:54:27.000 No more wasted time.

01:54:29.000 Yeah, just sharing thoughts transparently through the air.

01:54:32.000 No orbs.

01:54:33.000 You don't need an orb like in the Woody Allen movie.

01:54:36.000 You don't even need to pick things up anymore.

01:54:38.000 Everything's telekinetic. 0.99

01:54:39.000 Using that giant head to move shit around. 0.99

01:54:41.000 You never have to leave your house. 1.00

01:54:43.000 Your pod.

01:54:44.000 There's a guy that worked supposedly...

01:54:47.000 I don't know if he really worked at Area 51, but the whole story was...

01:54:52.000 Bob Lazar?

01:54:53.000 Yeah, Bob Lazar.

01:54:54.000 There's a new documentary.

01:54:55.000 I haven't seen it.

01:54:56.000 It's a good documentary.

01:54:57.000 Is it?

01:54:57.000 Yeah.

01:54:58.000 It's one of those, again, where it's just dealing with him as an individual.

01:55:02.000 You go, okay, this guy isn't...

01:55:04.000 He isn't the firebrand UFO believer that some people want him to be, and he's not the lunatic that other people want him to be.

01:55:11.000 But he didn't tell the truth about his education, right?

01:55:15.000 Isn't that the case?

01:55:16.000 Isn't there some finagling about...

01:55:18.000 Yeah, well definitely the records of his education, if he was telling the truth, those records aren't around anymore.

01:55:24.000 Right.

01:55:25.000 Yeah.

01:55:25.000 So if he was telling the truth, somebody expunged – Yeah.

01:55:28.000 And basically his argument is, well, if I didn't have this education, why was I hired to do this job?

01:55:35.000 Right.

01:55:36.000 I mean, I was hired to do this research by the government, and they have the records of me doing the research.

01:55:42.000 So why did they let me do this research for all these years if I didn't have the education to do it?

01:55:46.000 But wouldn't there be someone that went to school with them?

01:55:48.000 Like, you have friends from high school, right?

01:55:51.000 Well, not many.

01:55:52.000 Well, I do. 0.97

01:55:53.000 I have some friends that can go, yeah, I was in fucking fifth grade English with you, bro.

01:55:59.000 Wasn't there a guy who went to college with Bob Lazar who could say, yeah, he's in Physics 101 with Bob.

01:56:03.000 I'm sure he's out there.

01:56:04.000 Yeah.

01:56:04.000 I think there aren't people.

01:56:06.000 Yeah?

01:56:06.000 Yeah, I remember him in school.

01:56:08.000 So you enjoyed the documentary?

01:56:10.000 Do you remember what the name of it is?

01:56:12.000 What is it called?

01:56:14.000 Bob Lazar.

01:56:15.000 The guy who...

01:56:16.000 It's a new...

01:56:16.000 Yeah.

01:56:17.000 Somebody emailed me about that.

01:56:18.000 I was getting the guy who made it on.

01:56:20.000 That's a real problem.

01:56:21.000 Even this one is a fairly rational documentary, but it's...

01:56:25.000 But they're so bad.

01:56:28.000 Even this one, it's just got bad filmmaking.

01:56:31.000 Right.

01:56:32.000 Bob Lazar, Area 51, and Flying Saucers.

01:56:35.000 That's the title?

01:56:37.000 4.1.

01:56:38.000 That's it.

01:56:39.000 Jeremy Corbell.

01:56:41.000 I think he's the gentleman that directed it.

01:56:43.000 Yeah, and it's good, but it has Mickey Rourke doing weird poetic voiceovers at some points.

01:56:49.000 I love it.

01:56:50.000 As the wrestler?

01:56:52.000 Or as Barfly.

01:56:53.000 Is he doing it as Bukowski?

01:56:54.000 That would be fine.

01:56:55.000 He's got 20% on Rotten Tomatoes. 1.00

01:56:57.000 Come over here with your fucking UFO. But I mean, you've seen the I Know What I Saw and Out of the Blue, those documentaries? 0.99

01:57:09.000 No.

01:57:09.000 You haven't seen them?

01:57:10.000 Because those are great.

01:57:11.000 Are they?

01:57:12.000 Out of the Blue is a great, serious documentary about the UFO phenomenon.

01:57:15.000 And I know what I saw is one sort of tracing the participants in the disclosure hearings at the press club in Washington. 0.99

01:57:25.000 God, you're going to bring me back into this shit. 0.99

01:57:27.000 I love them, man. 0.99

01:57:28.000 I really wish they were real, but I'm telling you, my experience talking to these people when I did that sci-fi show was like, oh, this is all nonsense.

01:57:36.000 Yeah, but again...

01:57:38.000 That, maybe those people were, nonsense.

01:57:41.000 But the trained military, the air traffic controllers, the pilots, government officials, like, what's his name, Feef, the governor of Arizona is one of the guys in I Know What I Saw in Out of the Blue.

01:57:56.000 Oh, yeah, he was the guy that was told to, like, mock it, so they brought in a guy dressed like an alien.

01:58:03.000 In these documents, he talks about how much he deeply regrets doing that.

01:58:06.000 And this is from Out of the Blue?

01:58:08.000 Yeah.

01:58:08.000 Really?

01:58:08.000 Interesting.

01:58:09.000 Deeply regret.

01:58:10.000 Maybe now he's not a governor anymore.

01:58:12.000 He's trying to get a new angle on his career.

01:58:13.000 But he basically said, you know what?

01:58:15.000 Tens of thousands of people saw these craft.

01:58:18.000 Right.

01:58:18.000 And we lied.

01:58:19.000 We came out and we lied.

01:58:21.000 So did he say who directed him to lie?

01:58:24.000 He didn't say he was really directed to.

01:58:26.000 He said he felt like people were in a state of panic.

01:58:29.000 And he thought he could relieve some of the fear by making a joke of it.

01:58:32.000 And he said he really just wanted to relax people.

01:58:36.000 Because he didn't know what else to do.

01:58:38.000 He said, I saw it.

01:58:40.000 Everyone else saw it.

01:58:42.000 And I didn't know how to calm people down.

01:58:44.000 So I made this joke.

01:58:46.000 And he said he regrets it.

01:58:49.000 There's another thing about these UFO experiences and alien experiences where people really dive into them.

01:58:55.000 There seems to be the atheist version of religion to a lot of these folks.

01:59:01.000 Yeah, which again, that I dismiss.

01:59:04.000 Do you?

01:59:04.000 Yeah.

01:59:05.000 I don't think that's likely to be the case, that they're here to save us, or they're not concerned about redemption.

01:59:13.000 No, I don't mean that.

01:59:13.000 I mean the people that are believers, that are really into it.

01:59:16.000 It seems to be that instead of focusing on a deity, they're focusing on an advanced civilization.

01:59:22.000 Yeah, like transferring it.

01:59:23.000 Yeah, it's something will save us.

01:59:25.000 Space daddy.

01:59:25.000 Something will save us.

01:59:26.000 Yeah, that when we decide to point those nuclear weapons at each other, it's going to come down.

01:59:32.000 They'll come down at the last minute.

01:59:33.000 Talk to Russia and Trump and go, hey, let's not.

01:59:38.000 But where were they during Hiroshima and Nagasaki?

01:59:43.000 Yeah.

01:59:44.000 Watching.

01:59:45.000 Well, everybody deserves a lunch break.

01:59:46.000 Yeah, but it's that.

01:59:48.000 Whatever is going on, it's not an intervention.

01:59:51.000 Well, you know, right afterwards was when a giant swarm of UFO sightings happened.

01:59:58.000 Right after the nuclear bombs were dropped.

02:00:01.000 That's when there's a big uptick in UFO sightings.

02:00:05.000 Yeah, and as you said, a lot of the incidents are at nuclear missile sites.

02:00:09.000 Do you think they're going for fuel or something like that?

02:00:12.000 Well, there was one in Arizona somewhere where UFOs showed up and shut down the entire launch system.

02:00:21.000 All the missiles went offline at the same time.

02:00:24.000 And it's documented and it's in the records of the time.

02:00:28.000 But all of the missiles went offline.

02:00:31.000 You don't seem like you're buying this.

02:00:34.000 I am literally right in the middle.

02:00:37.000 That's where I live on this thing.

02:00:39.000 I really don't know.

02:00:41.000 I'm not quite in the middle.

02:00:43.000 I desperately want it to be real.

02:00:46.000 But you feel it's not. 0.99

02:00:47.000 I'm still calling bullshit. 0.98

02:00:49.000 I guess I'm edging. 0.97

02:00:51.000 But my desire, my desire is towards reality.

02:00:55.000 I want it to be reality.

02:00:56.000 When John Landis came out as Bigfoot, that bothered me.

02:00:59.000 Did he really?

02:00:59.000 Yeah.

02:01:00.000 He came out as a Bigfoot believer?

02:01:02.000 No, he came out as the guy in the suit.

02:01:03.000 Oh.

02:01:04.000 Oh, well, yeah.

02:01:04.000 Remember that?

02:01:05.000 No, that's just a lie.

02:01:06.000 When did he do that?

02:01:08.000 About...

02:01:09.000 From Harry and the Hendersons, that suit?

02:01:11.000 No.

02:01:12.000 This is him and his college friends.

02:01:14.000 They're the Bigfoot in the famous video.

02:01:17.000 No, that's Bob Hieronymus.

02:01:20.000 No, no, no.

02:01:22.000 There's a video of Bob.

02:01:23.000 Bob Hieronymus was friends with the...

02:01:25.000 See, that story, that Bigfoot story is a real problem because that's the Patterson film.

02:01:31.000 Patterson was a con man who went to jail for writing a bad check that paid for the very camera he used to film Bigfoot.

02:01:38.000 He went out looking to film Bigfoot. 1.00

02:01:40.000 They had a fucking suit. 1.00

02:01:42.000 I mean, he was trying to get a suit. 1.00

02:01:43.000 They got a guy, Bob Hieronymus, who's a big, tall guy, who walks like Bigfoot.

02:01:48.000 There's a video of, yes, the Patterson footage.

02:01:51.000 There's a video that superimposes Bob Hieronymus walking on one side and Bigfoot on the other side.

02:01:58.000 They walk the same. 1.00

02:01:59.000 They fucking, it's the guy! 1.00

02:02:01.000 It's him. 1.00

02:02:01.000 And by the way, Bigfoot looks like a guy in a Bigfoot suit. 1.00

02:02:05.000 It's not a fucking animal on the planet that looks like a person in an animal suit. 0.97

02:02:09.000 You never look at a swan and go, hey, that looks like a person in a swan suit. 0.99

02:02:12.000 No.

02:02:13.000 Things that, like, if you see a gorilla, it does not look like a person in a gorilla suit.

02:02:19.000 Right, no.

02:02:19.000 The hips are in the different place.

02:02:20.000 Everything's different.

02:02:21.000 The anatomy's different. 1.00

02:02:23.000 That's the same with this fucking stupid footage. 1.00

02:02:25.000 It's so dumb that the people that buy into that and believe it. 1.00

02:02:28.000 It's like, come on, just look at it. 1.00

02:02:30.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:02:31.000 It was always...

02:02:33.000 See if you can find that footage.

02:02:34.000 Bob Hieronymus right next to...

02:02:38.000 Bob Hieronymus as Bigfoot.

02:02:40.000 I mean, there's a video on YouTube where they show this stabilized image of this animal moving across...

02:02:47.000 By the way, I've been to that area where they saw that thing.

02:02:50.000 It's really interesting.

02:02:52.000 Was it on your show?

02:02:53.000 But there's still people, like anthropologists, who will still say that there's...

02:02:58.000 Clear evidence that the bone structure of this Bigfoot creature doesn't match human.

02:03:03.000 If there's a single thing out there, how can it survive?

02:03:05.000 I mean, is there more than one Bigfoot?

02:03:06.000 Well, it's not a single thing.

02:03:07.000 There has to be community.

02:03:08.000 Yeah, there has to be community.

02:03:10.000 The compelling, interesting aspect of Bigfoot is that there was an animal called Gigantopithecus that existed.

02:03:17.000 Yeah.

02:03:17.000 As recently as 100,000 years ago and they found teeth in the 1920s in an apothecary shop in China that were an unknown hominid and then they were like, where'd you get these?

02:03:27.000 And then they found the area where they found them and they started discovering more and they found some jawbone fragments and some various bones.

02:03:36.000 See this?

02:03:36.000 Look at this.

02:03:37.000 Look at that guy.

02:03:38.000 Oh my god. 0.99

02:03:38.000 I mean, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

02:03:41.000 That's amazing. 0.95

02:03:41.000 That's the guy. 0.95

02:03:42.000 That's amazing.

02:03:43.000 That's him.

02:03:43.000 And he admits it.

02:03:44.000 Yes!

02:03:45.000 Oh my god, it's the same guy.

02:03:46.000 He admits it. 1.00

02:03:47.000 It's fucking him. 1.00

02:03:49.000 He talked about it. 1.00

02:03:51.000 He told the story.

02:03:52.000 They said, alright, ready, go.

02:03:54.000 Start walking out of the woods.

02:03:55.000 Exactly. 1.00

02:03:56.000 So put that guy in a big old stupid fucking furry suit and you have Bigfoot. 1.00

02:04:02.000 That's great. 1.00

02:04:02.000 It's 100% him. 1.00

02:04:05.000 So does that mean there's not one out there?

02:04:07.000 No.

02:04:07.000 So Gigantopithecus was a real animal that they think was a bipedal hominid that lived somewhere around 100,000 years ago for sure, but most likely lived alongside human beings for eons, right?

02:04:20.000 And this thing was an 8 to 10 foot tall.

02:04:24.000 See if you get an image of the photo of a recreation of a Gigantopithecus next to a modern human being.

02:04:32.000 It's really interesting.

02:04:33.000 It was huge.

02:04:35.000 A huge bipedal ape.

02:04:37.000 And there's a fossil record of it.

02:04:38.000 It's a real thing.

02:04:39.000 Yeah.

02:04:39.000 Yeah, I mean, it makes sense.

02:04:41.000 Like, if a gorilla...

02:04:41.000 Look at those gorillas, like, 500 pounds.

02:04:43.000 I mean, the fucking... 0.99

02:04:44.000 And gorillas were considered mythical creatures until, like, 1890s? 0.99

02:04:48.000 Scroll up, Jamie.

02:04:49.000 There's a better image right above you.

02:04:51.000 Or was it even the 1900s, the gorillas? 0.83

02:04:53.000 Wow.

02:04:57.000 Wow.

02:05:03.000 Keep scrolling.

02:05:04.000 There's a...

02:05:06.000 That's a good one.

02:05:07.000 Yeah, there it is.

02:05:08.000 That's the guy.

02:05:09.000 That's the guy.

02:05:09.000 So that's what that thing looked like.

02:05:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:05:11.000 So if you saw that in the woods, you'd be like, holy fucking shit. 1.00

02:05:14.000 Hell yeah. 1.00

02:05:15.000 Eight foot tall, gigantic, hairy ape creature. 0.86

02:05:19.000 I wouldn't touch it like that guy's touching it.

02:05:21.000 Well, he's a friend.

02:05:22.000 That's his buddy.

02:05:23.000 It's like when you see dudes from Russia with bears.

02:05:26.000 That's true, yeah.

02:05:28.000 So that's a real animal.

02:05:30.000 So that's probably why there's so many mythological stories about this thing.

02:05:35.000 And the Native Americans have more than a hundred different names for these creatures along various tribes.

02:05:39.000 It's like similar to those fish they find that they thought was extinct for around 100,000 years.

02:05:43.000 Yeah.

02:05:44.000 Armored plated fish.

02:05:46.000 Right.

02:05:46.000 Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of animals.

02:05:48.000 I mean, that's cryptozoology in a nutshell.

02:05:50.000 There's a lot of animals that we think are extinct that probably aren't.

02:05:54.000 But that one is a very unlikely one.

02:05:56.000 Because it's, you know, it needed an enormous supply of food.

02:05:59.000 Yeah.

02:06:00.000 I mean, it's a huge, huge animal.

02:06:02.000 Yeah.

02:06:02.000 But the thing about it is that the sightings occur all in the Pacific Northwest, which, if you follow the Bering landmass, that's where they would have come across.

02:06:12.000 If they came across with humans, they would have come across into Alaska, where there's a lot of sightings, and down into the Pacific Northwest, where there's a lot of sightings.

02:06:20.000 But there's sightings all over the country now.

02:06:22.000 Yeah.

02:06:22.000 But is there any fossil record outside of Africa?

02:06:25.000 Of Gigantopithecus?

02:06:26.000 No.

02:06:26.000 No, there's not.

02:06:27.000 No, there's not.

02:06:28.000 Yeah.

02:06:29.000 Yeah, it's Asia, actually.

02:06:31.000 Asia is where they find them. 0.93

02:06:33.000 Yeah, it's not even Africa.

02:06:34.000 Ironically.

02:06:35.000 Yeah. 0.97

02:06:36.000 Because Asians are tiny. 1.00

02:06:38.000 Oh, right. 0.97

02:06:39.000 Tiny people.

02:06:40.000 Well, it's not a person.

02:06:41.000 Not this one.

02:06:42.000 It's compelling in the sense that there was a bunch of different kinds of hominids that existed. 1.00

02:06:48.000 Yeah.

02:06:49.000 And we only now know that we interbred with Neanderthal.

02:06:53.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:06:53.000 That most of us have Neanderthal DNA in us.

02:06:57.000 Yeah, most white folks, which is interesting, right? 0.71

02:07:01.000 Because it was the opposite. 1.00

02:07:02.000 If it was black people had it, it would be a really controversial subject, you know, but instead it's dumb white people like me. 0.99

02:07:08.000 I have 57% more Neanderthal DNA than the average person. 0.99

02:07:13.000 You know what?

02:07:14.000 I'm not going to argue that.

02:07:15.000 Me neither.

02:07:16.000 I was like, I knew it.

02:07:17.000 I'm pretty sure my Neanderthal count is low.

02:07:20.000 What?

02:07:21.000 You'd be surprised.

02:07:22.000 It explains the club you carry around.

02:07:23.000 I got rid of that, bro.

02:07:25.000 It's a European thing.

02:07:26.000 A lot of Europeans, you know, interbred with... 1.00

02:07:28.000 And Neanderthals, by the way, had a way longer run than we have.

02:07:31.000 Well, they colonized Europe way before...

02:07:34.000 They were around for 500,000 years unchanged.

02:07:37.000 I mean, Homo sapiens have only been around...

02:07:38.000 No, not long at all.

02:07:39.000 I think like 300,000-ish years.

02:07:41.000 And our ego sort of says, oh, we usurped and we drove them into extinction.

02:07:46.000 And in fact, no, we just mated them into extinction. 1.00

02:07:49.000 Fucked them to death. 1.00

02:07:50.000 Just dissolved it. 1.00

02:07:51.000 Just diluted it until it was gone.

02:07:54.000 Yeah, we ruined their purity.

02:07:55.000 We probably drugged them and neutered them. 1.00

02:07:57.000 Yeah, probably.

02:07:58.000 Once you've figured out how to do that.

02:08:00.000 Ah, which is early.

02:08:01.000 You know about that Hobbit person thing that they found on the Island of Flores? 1.00

02:08:05.000 Yeah.

02:08:05.000 That's another one that they didn't know until...

02:08:07.000 No, what's that?

02:08:08.000 It's...

02:08:09.000 Homo floriensis, I think is the name of it.

02:08:13.000 It's a tiny little person-like thing.

02:08:15.000 It was like three feet tall.

02:08:17.000 And had large feet.

02:08:19.000 Why are you guys looking at me?

02:08:21.000 Nah, bro.

02:08:22.000 No, we all have our own genetic history.

02:08:25.000 That was a real thing that existed as recently as...

02:08:28.000 Three feet?

02:08:29.000 See that image?

02:08:29.000 That's what they looked like.

02:08:30.000 And that existed, yeah, Homo florenciensis.

02:08:35.000 That's it.

02:08:36.000 And they existed as recently as 14,000 years ago.

02:08:40.000 What?

02:08:40.000 Yeah.

02:08:42.000 They coexisted with modern humans.

02:08:44.000 Yeah, and they think modern humans might have wiped them out because they were probably, they think there's some cannibalism, not cannibalism, but they preyed upon our children and stuff like that.

02:08:53.000 They ate us.

02:08:54.000 They ate us?

02:08:55.000 They were eating us?

02:08:57.000 Well, one of the things that I read, the speculation, was that there might have been an issue with them invading and trying to see...

02:09:05.000 Chimps have stolen babies and eaten them.

02:09:09.000 It's a really common thing, actually.

02:09:11.000 Babies are delicious.

02:09:14.000 Well, that's why people like lamb, unfortunately.

02:09:17.000 Veal.

02:09:18.000 Yeah, well, exactly.

02:09:19.000 There was a company that produced a vegan version of human flesh to try and sell to people in Papua New Guinea.

02:09:29.000 That's disgusting.

02:09:30.000 Where do I get this?

02:09:31.000 Who are no longer allowed to eat human flesh.

02:09:32.000 That's hilarious.

02:09:33.000 That's awful.

02:09:34.000 I read this thing about people in New Guinea that were cannibals, and they were talking to them after World War II, and they were trying to figure out how the Europeans, once they found out how many people were killed during World War II, they were trying to figure out how the Europeans managed to eat that much meat.

02:09:51.000 And then they told them, no, they don't eat the people they kill, and they were horrified.

02:09:55.000 They were like, so you waste all the people that you kill in battle?

02:09:59.000 All that good meat?

02:10:00.000 Yeah.

02:10:00.000 Wow.

02:10:01.000 Yeah, it would be horrible.

02:10:03.000 Yeah, it's a waste.

02:10:04.000 What a crazy way to look at it.

02:10:05.000 And they believe they absorbed the noble qualities of their enemy.

02:10:09.000 Only the good spots.

02:10:10.000 Yeah, by eating them.

02:10:11.000 Certain spots you don't eat.

02:10:12.000 Yeah, if you killed someone in a battle who you thought was truly...

02:10:17.000 A great warrior.

02:10:18.000 That's what brings you back to the whole UFO thing that makes it so compelling to me.

02:10:21.000 We have really serious protocols for dealing with uncontacted tribes.

02:10:27.000 We don't engage with uncontacted tribes.

02:10:29.000 We almost universally agree. 0.95

02:10:32.000 I mean, loggers do and the Amazon assholes and mean people, but the idea in the scientific community is we should leave these people alone. 0.92

02:10:40.000 And so when they find these uncontacted tribes, whether it's North Sentinel Island where that missionary was killed recently or the Amazon when they're going through these jungles and finding these small bands of people, overwhelmingly everybody wants to back off and leave them alone. 0.60

02:10:54.000 And they are so close to us.

02:10:56.000 I mean, they're human beings.

02:10:58.000 They're homo sapiens.

02:10:59.000 They have tools.

02:10:59.000 They have civilization.

02:11:00.000 They have law.

02:11:01.000 They have all these different things.

02:11:03.000 They live in these communities.

02:11:04.000 They're us.

02:11:05.000 And we back off.

02:11:07.000 Imagine.

02:11:07.000 What aliens.

02:11:08.000 Imagine what aliens would do. 1.00

02:11:10.000 Just imagine.

02:11:11.000 That's true.

02:11:12.000 What is this, Jamie?

02:11:13.000 They don't want to screw this up.

02:11:14.000 The human flesh alternative.

02:11:16.000 The healthy human flesh alternative.

02:11:18.000 That's it?

02:11:19.000 It's not real?

02:11:20.000 It's not real, though.

02:11:21.000 It's a hoax from like...

02:11:23.000 4chan.

02:11:24.000 Another 4chan thing.

02:11:25.000 One Hufu burger, please.

02:11:27.000 I'll be down for a Hufu burger.

02:11:29.000 I'll have a deep fried Hufu burger. 0.81

02:11:30.000 Long pig.

02:11:31.000 Once you see tofu processed, you're like, oh, this is...

02:11:35.000 I'm going back to me.

02:11:35.000 Is this really good for you?

02:11:37.000 Like, what?

02:11:38.000 This is so processed.

02:11:40.000 It's true. 1.00

02:11:41.000 It's so fucking slop. 0.99

02:11:42.000 It's like reduced to nothingness and then formed again. 1.00

02:11:45.000 Yeah.

02:11:45.000 Can I just eat soybeans?

02:11:47.000 Like, what the fuck is this? 0.99

02:11:48.000 Yeah, which you can do. 0.99

02:11:49.000 You can buy a bag of frozen ones.

02:11:52.000 That's the way to go.

02:11:53.000 I think so. 1.00

02:11:54.000 Don't eat fucking tofu. 1.00

02:11:55.000 Why do I have to have it? 1.00

02:11:56.000 Because it tastes terrible.

02:11:57.000 In like a toothpaste tube.

02:11:58.000 Well, it tastes like nothing.

02:12:00.000 It's weird.

02:12:01.000 It's a weird choice.

02:12:03.000 Yeah, I can't stand anything made from tofu.

02:12:05.000 But I think that if aliens did see us, they would probably take a hands-off approach if we weren't totally ruining everything.

02:12:13.000 Like, if we didn't have some antimatter weapon.

02:12:15.000 They'd observe.

02:12:16.000 That's about it.

02:12:16.000 Yeah.

02:12:16.000 Some black hole weapon that we're just going to just fucking nuke on New Mexico just to see how it works.

02:12:22.000 Happen. 1.00

02:12:22.000 And if they saw that it was going to burn a hole through the planet and kill everything, they might step in. 1.00

02:12:29.000 Maybe for a second.

02:12:30.000 Well, there was before they launched CERN. Yes.

02:12:33.000 We all thought it was going to open up a black hole.

02:12:37.000 That it would create a particle that would devour the fabric of the universe.

02:12:41.000 They thought it was a black hole that would expand and expand and expand.

02:12:44.000 Maybe it did.

02:12:45.000 What?

02:12:46.000 What?

02:12:46.000 Maybe we did.

02:12:47.000 God, man.

02:12:48.000 Maybe we restarted.

02:12:49.000 Yeah.

02:12:50.000 Maybe we're in a parallel universe.

02:12:52.000 Wow.

02:12:53.000 Maybe we're knocked off our timeline into another place.

02:12:56.000 Yeah.

02:12:56.000 It makes less sense.

02:12:58.000 Yeah, it was the thing that was going around on the internet a little while ago, that the evidence of multiple universes that we pop in and out of different realities.

02:13:05.000 Yes, right.

02:13:05.000 Like the fact that we...

02:13:06.000 It's a multiverse.

02:13:07.000 Like the Ford logo.

02:13:08.000 Let's say, do you remember, do you recognize this part of the Ford logo?

02:13:11.000 And most people never noticed it.

02:13:14.000 There's a weird little squiggle in the F. Yeah.

02:13:15.000 Really?

02:13:16.000 Yeah.

02:13:17.000 The FedEx thing blows people's minds too.

02:13:20.000 What's that?

02:13:21.000 It's the arrow.

02:13:22.000 What arrow?

02:13:23.000 Exactly.

02:13:26.000 Bring up FedEx.

02:13:28.000 You'll never not see the arrow again.

02:13:31.000 Yeah, same thing with the Ford logo.

02:13:33.000 So it's all perceptions.

02:13:36.000 It's been there the whole time, and I didn't know there was an arrow there.

02:13:40.000 Yeah, there are people who will insist that...

02:13:42.000 The FedEx arrow is really...

02:13:45.000 Oh, interesting.

02:13:46.000 Okay, but that's an accidental arrow.

02:13:47.000 No.

02:13:48.000 You think so?

02:13:49.000 They designed it in there.

02:13:50.000 Where's the arrow?

02:13:52.000 They definitely designed it right there?

02:13:53.000 Oh, yeah, right there.

02:13:54.000 The white part? 0.91

02:13:56.000 Oh, that?

02:13:57.000 Oh, yeah.

02:13:57.000 Now you never see it again.

02:13:58.000 Or never not see it again.

02:13:59.000 I know, it's funny.

02:14:00.000 Huh.

02:14:01.000 But I mean, that could be like the universe, right?

02:14:04.000 What's the Ford thing?

02:14:05.000 The little squiggle in the F. Jesus.

02:14:06.000 Why is that a squiggle?

02:14:07.000 I never saw that. 0.97

02:14:08.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

02:14:09.000 Who the fuck makes an F like that? 0.99

02:14:11.000 That means it actually spells Fjord. 0.99

02:14:14.000 Yeah.

02:14:14.000 Or Fjord.

02:14:16.000 Fjord.

02:14:17.000 Fjord.

02:14:17.000 Is that an I? What is it?

02:14:19.000 Why would they squiggle that? 0.98

02:14:20.000 Why did they do that?

02:14:21.000 Oh, it's not there.

02:14:22.000 Ooh, we didn't used to do that.

02:14:23.000 Interesting.

02:14:24.000 See, it's stuff that's right in front of you that you don't even know.

02:14:27.000 The Mandela effect, that's right, yeah.

02:14:29.000 That's right, yeah, the people who insist that Mandela died in jail.

02:14:34.000 So was there always a squiggle?

02:14:37.000 I don't know.

02:14:38.000 Is that a real Ford, that little thing?

02:14:41.000 When did they make the squiggle?

02:14:43.000 Okay, that's normal.

02:14:44.000 Because that's what I thought the Ford thing looked like until I saw this Mandela effect. 0.70

02:14:47.000 Maybe in the future.

02:14:48.000 Did they stop the squiggle at some point?

02:14:50.000 They must have.

02:14:50.000 Or the opposite.

02:14:51.000 Maybe they add the squiggle.

02:14:52.000 Dave, you can't bring up the squiggle without proper information.

02:14:55.000 I didn't do the research.

02:14:56.000 What's a modern Ford?

02:14:57.000 Go to a 2019 Ford Mustang.

02:15:02.000 Let's see that.

02:15:03.000 Let's see if they have the squiggle. 0.79

02:15:05.000 Yeah, they have the squiggle now.

02:15:06.000 It does?

02:15:07.000 I think it does. 0.99

02:15:08.000 So maybe some asshole wanted to justify his existence by ruining their beautiful logo. 0.99

02:15:12.000 I changed the logo. 0.99

02:15:13.000 Yeah.

02:15:15.000 Look at it.

02:15:16.000 Let's see.

02:15:16.000 I mean, logos do change.

02:15:17.000 That is the squiggle, I think.

02:15:18.000 That's the squiggle.

02:15:19.000 Yeah.

02:15:20.000 That's a new Mustang, so the squiggle is a current.

02:15:23.000 Yeah.

02:15:24.000 Yep, the squiggle's current.

02:15:25.000 It really doesn't fit. 1.00

02:15:27.000 No, it looks stupid. 1.00

02:15:28.000 It would look better without that stupid squiggle. 1.00

02:15:30.000 Totally. 1.00

02:15:30.000 The only thing that's saving that squiggle is that no one noticed it up until now. 1.00

02:15:33.000 Oh, great.

02:15:33.000 Now I'm never not going to notice the squiggle.

02:15:35.000 Thank you, Mandela Effect.

02:15:36.000 I hate Mandela Effect. 0.85

02:15:38.000 But that just seems like people fucking with something that's not broken. 0.96

02:15:43.000 Yeah. 0.92

02:15:43.000 Right. 0.92

02:15:44.000 Yeah.

02:15:45.000 It's like, let's just change it up.

02:15:48.000 Remember when they came out with the new Coke? 1.00

02:15:50.000 Fuck yeah, it was like a riot. 1.00

02:15:51.000 They had a riot on their hands. 1.00

02:15:53.000 That's not evidence of a parallel universe. 1.00

02:15:54.000 That's just a stupid idea. 1.00

02:15:56.000 They just ruined coke. 1.00

02:15:57.000 Do you know the coke's made with real cocaine?

02:15:59.000 The original coke, yeah.

02:16:01.000 No, today.

02:16:01.000 Today?

02:16:02.000 Yes.

02:16:02.000 I thought they replaced it with caffeine.

02:16:04.000 No, they used coca leaves.

02:16:05.000 Back in the 30s?

02:16:07.000 The flavor, yes.

02:16:08.000 In fact, the company...

02:16:09.000 Still?

02:16:09.000 Dude, it's crazy.

02:16:10.000 The company that uses the coca leaves, that brings in the coca leaves to make Coca-Cola, is the number one creator of medical grade cocaine.

02:16:22.000 They use that coca leaf to also make medical grade cocaine.

02:16:26.000 There's no cocaine in Coca-Cola, but there is a flavor.

02:16:30.000 That's a bunch of different Ford logos.

02:16:32.000 Yeah.

02:16:33.000 Over the years.

02:16:33.000 See, I just drink Diet Coke, which is just chemical.

02:16:37.000 1927?

02:16:38.000 2003?

02:16:39.000 All of them.

02:16:41.000 I like the one in 1903. That's actually pretty dope.

02:16:44.000 Yeah, very weird.

02:16:48.000 Google, they use coca leaves to make Coca-Cola.

02:16:51.000 They still do.

02:16:52.000 They actually do.

02:16:53.000 And then the company that does that makes cocaine.

02:16:57.000 Yeah, because the recipe for Coke is herbal.

02:17:00.000 There's like a lot of herbs that go into Coke.

02:17:02.000 Yes, it's a flavor.

02:17:04.000 Yeah, but the Diet Coke is just chemicals.

02:17:07.000 It's all artificial.

02:17:08.000 Remember I was in school when the new Coke thing happened?

02:17:10.000 See, look at this.

02:17:11.000 Advertising.

02:17:11.000 Besides producing the cocoa flavor agent for Coca-Cola, the Stephan Company extracts cocaine from the coca leaves, which sells it to, hmm, Alan Kroc, a St. Louis, Missouri pharmaceutical manufacturer that is the only company in the United States licensed to purify cocaine from medical use,

02:17:27.000 medicinal use.

02:17:29.000 Yeah, there you go.

02:17:31.000 So they're actually using actual coca leaves.

02:17:33.000 So someone, I guarantee you, if you follow the paperwork, there's a bunch of cocaine hanging around the executives.

02:17:39.000 A little residual.

02:17:40.000 Those guys, they get a little bit here and there.

02:17:41.000 Chewing leaves at work.

02:17:42.000 Yeah, gives you a little pep-me-up.

02:17:44.000 That's what's amazing is that you're not allowed to chew the leaves, because apparently chewing the leaves is really healthy.

02:17:49.000 You get flavonoids, it's actually good for you, and it gives you a pickup that's very similar to caffeine.

02:17:56.000 Yeah, I mean, that's why...

02:17:57.000 Yeah, people living in those forests have been chewing them.

02:18:01.000 Amazon rainforests, they love chewing those leaves.

02:18:04.000 What's this, Jamie?

02:18:04.000 It's just one of those weird things that pops up when you see 90% of their sales are done in the United States, but it's an Irish tax-registered manufacturing.

02:18:13.000 That's the Irish economic explosion.

02:18:15.000 Mark Trudeau is the CEO. One of those weasel moves.

02:18:17.000 One of them tax weasel moves.

02:18:20.000 Yeah.

02:18:22.000 Taxes.

02:18:23.000 That's a...

02:18:24.000 Bizarre when you find out these giant corporations that make billions of dollars.

02:18:28.000 That they're all in Ireland. 0.74

02:18:29.000 And they weasel out of taxes.

02:18:30.000 Yeah.

02:18:31.000 Oh, you know.

02:18:32.000 Yeah, how much did Amazon pay last year?

02:18:33.000 Because they don't believe in socialism.

02:18:34.000 Did you read that?

02:18:35.000 How many taxes they paid last year, Amazon?

02:18:37.000 Zero.

02:18:38.000 Zero.

02:18:39.000 Well, you know.

02:18:41.000 It's nice that it exists.

02:18:43.000 You get a one-click and you have some toilet paper sent to your house.

02:18:46.000 I'm happy.

02:18:46.000 I'm happy to use their product.

02:18:48.000 And that's why they needed a billion dollars in tax breaks from the city of New York.

02:18:53.000 How does that work?

02:18:55.000 I don't know.

02:18:56.000 They could pay zero in taxes.

02:18:57.000 Zero.

02:18:58.000 And why did they need those tax breaks in Long Island?

02:19:01.000 Maybe that's why the aliens won't land. 1.00

02:19:03.000 They're like, you fucking dummies. 1.00

02:19:04.000 You let Amazon fuck you over like that? 1.00

02:19:07.000 Or maybe that's why they're coming here. 1.00

02:19:09.000 All their money's in Ireland.

02:19:10.000 Yeah.

02:19:11.000 Ireland's doing great.

02:19:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:19:13.000 Ireland's kicking ass with cocaine. 1.00

02:19:15.000 Shit. 1.00

02:19:15.000 I'm going to Ireland. 1.00

02:19:17.000 Chew leaves.

02:19:18.000 Aliens got a bank somewhere.

02:19:19.000 I'm going to curl.

02:19:22.000 There's some sort of a ballot initiative where they're trying to put psilocybin in the same medicinal category as they're doing with marijuana.

02:19:33.000 I hope they do.

02:19:34.000 What do you mean like we'll be able to get in stores?

02:19:36.000 In California they're trying to do that and pass medical psilocybin for therapy.

02:19:43.000 Well, here, I've been on antidepressants since news radio days.

02:19:47.000 And I actually just went off this month.

02:19:50.000 This month?

02:19:50.000 How are you feeling?

02:19:51.000 Good.

02:19:52.000 You look great.

02:19:52.000 Good, yeah.

02:19:53.000 I'm feeling very good.

02:19:54.000 Part of it was because I had this head injury a few years ago.

02:19:56.000 What happened?

02:19:57.000 I had a...

02:19:58.000 Well, I don't know if you remember this.

02:20:00.000 I used to drink quite a bit.

02:20:01.000 I do remember.

02:20:01.000 Do you remember that?

02:20:02.000 Now, I... You do.

02:20:05.000 One night, about four years ago, I went out and got really drunk and...

02:20:08.000 Right before Christmas and wound up, I guess, at a bar called The Must downtown, right around the corner from my apartment.

02:20:16.000 And I fell down on the patio, just fell over like that.

02:20:20.000 I would call it a deadfall backwards.

02:20:24.000 Yeah.

02:20:24.000 And landed on the back of my head.

02:20:25.000 Oh, my God.

02:20:26.000 It was a deadfall.

02:20:26.000 And hit my head on the stone patio with enough force that my brain gave me a black eye from the inside of my head.

02:20:33.000 Oh.

02:20:33.000 It's called cerebral hemorrhage, I believe.

02:20:35.000 Yeah, and I had a subdural hematoma.

02:20:37.000 I was in the ICU for four days.

02:20:39.000 He had this red eye.

02:20:40.000 He had one of those bright red blood eyes.

02:20:43.000 Yeah.

02:20:43.000 Do you have pictures of this?

02:20:44.000 Yeah, I do somewhere.

02:20:45.000 Put one on Instagram?

02:20:46.000 No, I guess my...

02:20:47.000 Tabitha's...

02:20:48.000 Not Tabitha's... 0.95

02:20:48.000 Oh, Jesus. 0.95

02:20:49.000 Ugh.

02:20:50.000 Sorry, they can edit this out.

02:20:52.000 Can you edit that out of my memory, though?

02:20:53.000 Edit this out?

02:20:54.000 Is this like Total Recall, where you can just remove things?

02:20:57.000 But Chrissy... 1.00

02:20:57.000 No, Chrissy has the photos of all that. 1.00

02:20:59.000 But the weird thing was...

02:21:01.000 And then I decided...

02:21:03.000 All right, well, I said, all right, I've got to quit drinking.

02:21:05.000 And I thought, you know, it'll be hard, but I'll do it.

02:21:07.000 And...

02:21:08.000 And I kept waiting for it to get hard, to not drink.

02:21:12.000 And it never did.

02:21:13.000 Like, I'm now four years, I haven't had a drink in four years.

02:21:17.000 It's on heroin now, though.

02:21:18.000 Yeah.

02:21:19.000 Do you do anything?

02:21:20.000 Nothing.

02:21:20.000 No pot?

02:21:21.000 No.

02:21:22.000 Nothing.

02:21:22.000 I wish, because I don't like pot.

02:21:23.000 I wish I could enjoy pot.

02:21:24.000 What don't you like about it?

02:21:25.000 It makes me very quiet and paranoid.

02:21:27.000 That's my favorite part.

02:21:28.000 Yeah.

02:21:30.000 For real, that's what I like about it.

02:21:32.000 I like pot.

02:21:33.000 But you seem very lucid when you're on pot.

02:21:35.000 Yeah.

02:21:35.000 You seem very communicative.

02:21:37.000 Yeah.

02:21:38.000 Whereas when I smoke pot, I can't put a sentence together.

02:21:40.000 Yeah, it makes me friendly.

02:21:41.000 Yeah, it makes me very withdrawn.

02:21:43.000 Alcohol makes me friendly.

02:21:45.000 Right.

02:21:45.000 It does that for me, too.

02:21:46.000 Yeah, I always say the one thing I miss about drinking is, you know, the liking people.

02:21:49.000 Right.

02:21:50.000 Oh, yeah.

02:21:51.000 You used to like me more.

02:21:52.000 Yeah.

02:21:53.000 That is a thing, right?

02:21:55.000 But because of this brain injury, it never was hard...

02:21:58.000 To not drink.

02:21:59.000 My urge to drink was gone.

02:22:01.000 From getting knocked in the head?

02:22:02.000 Yeah.

02:22:02.000 Wow.

02:22:03.000 And also, I noticed over the couple of years, I said, I haven't had any depression.

02:22:07.000 Whoa.

02:22:08.000 And so, I guess in November, I talked to my doctor and said, I want to go off the antidepressants and see what happens.

02:22:16.000 And so I've been like gradually weaned off and just this month took like the last antidepressant about a month ago.

02:22:21.000 So how long is the weaning process?

02:22:24.000 It's like about three months.

02:22:25.000 How do you do that?

02:22:26.000 It's really addictive.

02:22:27.000 Yes.

02:22:28.000 Yes.

02:22:28.000 And how do you do it when you're weaning?

02:22:30.000 It's just gradually reducing the dosage, the daily dosage and then doing it every other day and then it's gone.

02:22:38.000 But they have a protocol?

02:22:39.000 Yeah.

02:22:40.000 And so, did he discourage you?

02:22:42.000 No, my doctor was, he was excited about it.

02:22:44.000 He said, oh, that's great.

02:22:45.000 Congratulations.

02:22:46.000 Good, good.

02:22:46.000 You know, I said, but, you know, keep in touch and let me know.

02:22:49.000 He was a real doctor, too, right?

02:22:50.000 Yeah.

02:22:50.000 I guess so.

02:22:52.000 He had a reflector on his head.

02:22:54.000 That's all you mean?

02:22:55.000 Oh, that means he's a real doctor.

02:22:56.000 He had a white lab coat?

02:22:57.000 Yeah.

02:22:57.000 And he was like, you know, and he's like, I think he lives in the neighborhood.

02:23:00.000 He's always walking around outside.

02:23:01.000 That's him.

02:23:02.000 Yeah.

02:23:02.000 That's a doctor.

02:23:03.000 So we did it, and so now I'm about a month in without any antidepressants.

02:23:09.000 What is the difference?

02:23:13.000 I don't really know yet.

02:23:14.000 I mean, it's hard to gauge it.

02:23:15.000 You don't feel different?

02:23:17.000 I definitely feel more emotional.

02:23:19.000 Oh.

02:23:21.000 You know, I kept crying at the Oscars.

02:23:23.000 Really?

02:23:24.000 What?

02:23:24.000 What parts?

02:23:25.000 All of it.

02:23:26.000 What?

02:23:26.000 You could have had Kevin Hart host.

02:23:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:23:29.000 Oh, you fucked it up. 0.99

02:23:31.000 But no, I think I'm more emotional. 0.99

02:23:33.000 You're more connected, baby.

02:23:34.000 Yeah.

02:23:35.000 And, you know, so we'll see what happens.

02:23:37.000 You know, hopefully, I mean, part of what I was thinking, I hope it will help with writing, because I felt like I was having trouble coming up with story ideas for things.

02:23:47.000 You do hug me too long now.

02:23:49.000 Yeah.

02:23:50.000 Oh, I've become a predator.

02:23:52.000 Yeah.

02:23:54.000 Well, that's what it is.

02:23:55.000 But I feel good about it, is the important thing.

02:23:59.000 So, the only thing is emotions and you feel more creative?

02:24:03.000 You feel more in touch?

02:24:04.000 I don't know yet.

02:24:05.000 And I don't even know if I feel, I just know, I definitely know there's a...

02:24:09.000 There's a heightened emotionalism.

02:24:11.000 Has it affected your improvising?

02:24:14.000 It doesn't seem to have.

02:24:15.000 I was worried it would.

02:24:16.000 I was worried that I might not be able to go out and do those shows because I was worried I might be more moody.

02:24:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:24:26.000 But it so far hasn't affected them.

02:24:30.000 Because I went on them in news radio because I couldn't work at one point.

02:24:33.000 I got to the point where writers couldn't work anymore.

02:24:35.000 And that's when I started going on antidepressants, and it saved me.

02:24:38.000 So I totally believed people should get on meds and stay on them.

02:24:43.000 It definitely helped some people.

02:24:45.000 I mean, it saved a couple of my friends, for sure, that were suicidal and just really didn't know where to turn.

02:24:51.000 They got on the right ones, and they had experiment.

02:24:55.000 Yeah, I don't think I would have made it through the 2000s.

02:24:58.000 Really?

02:24:59.000 Wow.

02:25:00.000 And we just lost Brody Stevens, just died.

02:25:04.000 Yeah, he got off his meds.

02:25:06.000 He didn't like the way it felt to be on them.

02:25:11.000 He's so hard.

02:25:12.000 That's such a hard one to take because everyone loved that guy.

02:25:16.000 And to think that everyone...

02:25:18.000 I mean, he has no haters.

02:25:20.000 I don't know. 1.00

02:25:21.000 A single person was like, that guy was a dick. 1.00

02:25:23.000 No. 1.00

02:25:23.000 No one. 1.00

02:25:25.000 Everyone loved him.

02:25:25.000 He hit everybody really hard.

02:25:26.000 Yeah, from close friends to people who just knew him a little bit.

02:25:29.000 Like, I knew him just a little bit.

02:25:30.000 He was so sweet, but he was so tortured.

02:25:34.000 He was just in pain all the time.

02:25:36.000 Yeah.

02:25:37.000 It's so strange that you think the thing that people like most is for other people to love them and care about them.

02:25:45.000 And everybody loved Brody.

02:25:46.000 Yeah.

02:25:47.000 But yet, it just couldn't go on.

02:25:50.000 But I've never known Brody to have a relationship.

02:25:54.000 I've never known him to have a special someone in his life.

02:25:56.000 And I mean, that alone...

02:25:59.000 It'd probably be very, very depressing.

02:26:02.000 Well, especially if everyone loves you, but you don't feel connected to any of them.

02:26:05.000 Right.

02:26:06.000 Like how empty that feels.

02:26:07.000 And that's the core of depression.

02:26:10.000 That's fame.

02:26:11.000 But it's also the core of depression.

02:26:13.000 Having had depression, one of the things that hits you is that feeling that you just can't connect.

02:26:19.000 And was yours coming about when your first marriage was breaking up?

02:26:23.000 I mean, I have lifelong depression, but I didn't get it treated until that point when I was like, you know, it was like, yeah, because marriage was breaking up and I had to fly to like Africa twice in a month to see my kids.

02:26:36.000 Do you remember the time that I protected a reporter from you?

02:26:39.000 Oh, at the TCA's.

02:26:41.000 Yeah.

02:26:42.000 He was on malaria medication and drinking, which apparently you're not supposed to do. 1.00

02:26:47.000 So, super sweet, kind Dave was going to kick someone's ass. 0.99

02:26:51.000 And I literally had to, like, hold on to him. 0.99

02:26:54.000 I kind of want to see that.

02:26:55.000 Yeah.

02:26:56.000 Because that was the other thing.

02:26:57.000 I'd just been flown to Africa twice, and I just got back, and we did the TCAs.

02:27:01.000 And I think I also threw a glass at... 0.99

02:27:04.000 Oh, fuck, I'm blanking on his name. 0.99

02:27:06.000 Tony... 1.00

02:27:07.000 Jesus. 1.00

02:27:10.000 Yeah, fuck, I'm blanking, too. 1.00

02:27:12.000 Nice guy. 0.99

02:27:12.000 Sorry, dude. 0.99

02:27:13.000 Randall?

02:27:14.000 Tony...

02:27:14.000 Jesus.

02:27:15.000 I love Tony.

02:27:15.000 Tony's a great guy.

02:27:16.000 But I was, like, out of my skull, and I just...

02:27:18.000 Yeah.

02:27:19.000 Well, that was a reporter I... You took his tape recorder and dunked it in a glass.

02:27:24.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

02:27:25.000 And threatened to kick his ass. 1.00

02:27:26.000 Yeah, because I was, yeah, I was drunk. 1.00

02:27:29.000 Yeah, and yeah, I was like, oh my god, do I have to do something?

02:27:33.000 Sorry, I missed it.

02:27:34.000 I was like, I have to stop this.

02:27:35.000 This is crazy.

02:27:36.000 I can't believe this is happening.

02:27:37.000 That's nice.

02:27:38.000 Yeah.

02:27:38.000 Well, and it was after that that I just went on the antidepressants because I crashed really hard after that.

02:27:44.000 And it was like one of those things where I said, I can't go to work.

02:27:46.000 I can't do anything.

02:27:47.000 You were experiencing that combination, apparently, of the malaria medication and alcohol.

02:27:52.000 It was like a crazy combination.

02:27:54.000 And then you added that jet lag and the trauma of being separated from my kids.

02:27:59.000 The malaria pills on their own make you mentally sort of hurt.

02:28:03.000 I left Harare to the sound of my eldest child screaming, Daddy, don't go.

02:28:11.000 Which even now I can't talk about.

02:28:19.000 See, it's not worth having kids.

02:28:20.000 No!

02:28:21.000 No, it isn't.

02:28:23.000 Do you have none?

02:28:24.000 I have one.

02:28:24.000 I have a 17-year-old.

02:28:26.000 It's good.

02:28:27.000 They're on their own now, basically.

02:28:28.000 In a year, you can just write them off.

02:28:30.000 That's right.

02:28:32.000 Next year, he's going to college.

02:28:34.000 But anyway, if you are out there...

02:28:37.000 Get on meds and stay on them.

02:28:39.000 Like Brody should have stayed on his meds.

02:28:41.000 Well, you know, I just, I wish we could have all known how he was and how close he was to that.

02:28:48.000 Yeah, well that's the thing.

02:28:49.000 It's like people think like suicide, things like if you're close to suicide, it's the most rational choice you'll ever make.

02:28:59.000 When you're that close.

02:29:01.000 It just seems like the most sensible way to deal with the issue.

02:29:04.000 But you've got to stop this because otherwise it's too much pain.

02:29:06.000 Yeah.

02:29:06.000 I heard someone describe it as...

02:29:08.000 It's not even an emotional decision.

02:29:10.000 It's a burning...

02:29:10.000 It's jumping out of a burning building.

02:29:12.000 Yeah.

02:29:13.000 It's like, there's that choice into the burning building or...

02:29:16.000 Yeah.

02:29:16.000 What's that feeling where you go, this is not an emotional decision I'm making?

02:29:19.000 There's no choice.

02:29:20.000 I've had two friends hang themselves this year.

02:29:23.000 Yeah.

02:29:23.000 Wow.

02:29:24.000 Yeah.

02:29:24.000 I mean, that is...

02:29:26.000 I never thought I would ever say that.

02:29:28.000 I never thought that that would be a way that people would be going out either.

02:29:32.000 I remember we had Drake say there.

02:29:35.000 Yeah.

02:29:36.000 Oh, he was hard.

02:29:37.000 That was a hard one.

02:29:39.000 I knew Drake back in essentially my open mic days.

02:29:44.000 He was an established comedian in Boston and I was just starting out.

02:29:49.000 Oh, yeah.

02:29:51.000 But so, even though I'm happy that my brain injury seems to have cured my depression. 0.99

02:29:56.000 That's fucking crazy. 0.97

02:29:58.000 Do you know a brain injury was responsible for Sam Kinison? 1.00

02:30:01.000 Oh, the car crash, right?

02:30:03.000 Yeah, he got hit by a car when he was a kid and became this wild man.

02:30:06.000 Same thing with Roseanne. 0.86

02:30:07.000 I mean, one of the reasons why I wanted to have Roseanne on the podcast and talk about her issue with her television show and everything and her outbursts and all the crazy stuff she says on Twitter is because I know her and I know her past.

02:30:20.000 And so right away at the beginning of the podcast, I was like, let's get into what happened to you.

02:30:24.000 Because I don't think she talked about it that much.

02:30:26.000 She was hit by a car. 1.00

02:30:27.000 She was in a fucking psychiatric war for nine months. 1.00

02:30:30.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:30:31.000 She was gone, and she was never the same person again.

02:30:34.000 When was this?

02:30:34.000 She was 15 years old.

02:30:35.000 Nine months.

02:30:36.000 She was walking across the street, and someone had glare in their eyes from the sun and didn't see her.

02:30:40.000 Hit her with a car.

02:30:42.000 The hood ornament went into her head. 0.88

02:30:44.000 I mean, she had a severe brain injury.

02:30:47.000 She couldn't count anymore.

02:30:48.000 She couldn't do math anymore.

02:30:50.000 She was a very smart student before then, and then crippled by it afterwards.

02:30:55.000 And then for nine months she was in a psych ward, and she talked about it.

02:30:59.000 I'm like, I wanted people to know.

02:31:01.000 I don't think anybody knows that.

02:31:02.000 They know now, hopefully more than they knew then, but people that work with her did.

02:31:07.000 So when they were writing her off, I'm like, Jesus Christ, this is like taking a person with a broken leg and saying, you know, I'm mad at you that you can't run.

02:31:13.000 Yeah, and that's the thing.

02:31:16.000 Obviously, Roseanne said some crazy and terrible things and messed up a lot of people's lives, but she's also a genius. 0.96

02:31:24.000 She's a comedic genius. 1.00

02:31:26.000 Yeah, she also made that show one of the best shows on TV when it was originally on the show. 1.00

02:31:30.000 But she's always done crazy shit. 1.00

02:31:32.000 You remember when she grabbed her crotch and spit when she did the National Anthem and everybody hated her then? 1.00

02:31:35.000 They went crazy. 0.96

02:31:36.000 And this is like early 2000s she did that.

02:31:39.000 She was always wild.

02:31:40.000 But that was why she was so good as a comic.

02:31:42.000 That was her appeal, though. 0.99

02:31:43.000 She did not give a fuck. 1.00

02:31:45.000 Unpredictable. 1.00

02:31:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:31:45.000 Like, just wild. 1.00

02:31:46.000 And that is like Kinison.

02:31:47.000 And it came out of head injuries.

02:31:49.000 You know, really, that's a lot of it.

02:31:51.000 Well, there was the famous guy who was, I guess, working in a mine.

02:31:54.000 There was an explosion and a rebar went through his brain.

02:31:59.000 And after that, they said he became evil. 0.97

02:32:02.000 He was just an evil person.

02:32:04.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:32:04.000 After this rebar went through his brain. 0.98

02:32:06.000 It happens.

02:32:08.000 Yeah.

02:32:08.000 Well, the Texas school book depository shooter.

02:32:11.000 It wasn't school book depository.

02:32:13.000 Texas tower shooter.

02:32:16.000 Texas tower shooter had a brain tumor.

02:32:18.000 Yeah.

02:32:18.000 They found it out after he died.

02:32:19.000 Like, oh, this is what it was.

02:32:21.000 But you also have people who have suffered brain injuries and come out of it being able to speak French.

02:32:25.000 Yes, yes.

02:32:26.000 Or play piano.

02:32:27.000 Play piano, yes, yes. 0.99

02:32:28.000 I think most people who speak French probably have a brain injury. 0.99

02:32:30.000 Yes. 0.97

02:32:32.000 Am I right?

02:32:33.000 Yeah.

02:32:34.000 Or people that suddenly can paint photorealistic paintings.

02:32:38.000 Yeah.

02:32:38.000 Yes, I know.

02:32:39.000 Who have never had any artistic ability before, but they have a brain injury, and it unlocks that.

02:32:43.000 All I got was sobriety out of it.

02:32:45.000 How can you know language?

02:32:47.000 It's amazing, though.

02:32:48.000 It does happen, for real.

02:32:50.000 Well, they can learn it quicker, I think.

02:32:52.000 I don't think they know it initially.

02:32:53.000 They don't come out knowing it somehow?

02:32:55.000 Well, the piano, I've heard these people, they literally could sit down and just knew what to do.

02:33:00.000 Well, there's certain things that happen, right, if people have certain spectrum issues, right, where they're far better at mathematics, far worse at social interactions.

02:33:10.000 There's pathways that are more lubed for you to figure things out that aren't as confused by social issues or social stigmas or just normal human communication.

02:33:23.000 Smartest people in history, a lot of them.

02:33:25.000 A lot of them. 0.98

02:33:26.000 A lot of super fucking geniuses are on the spectrum. 0.99

02:33:28.000 Well, Einstein didn't speak until he was five? 0.99

02:33:31.000 Jesus.

02:33:32.000 Yeah.

02:33:33.000 They thought he was mentally retarded. 0.99

02:33:35.000 Wow. 0.99

02:33:36.000 Yeah.

02:33:37.000 That was back when they used to use that word, too.

02:33:38.000 Yeah, that's right.

02:33:39.000 Yeah.

02:33:39.000 Now you can get in trouble.

02:33:40.000 Yeah.

02:33:40.000 Thank God we didn't use it.

02:33:42.000 Yeah.

02:33:43.000 When you had the head injury, so how much time was it before you felt like, did you just stop drinking on the spot?

02:33:51.000 Yeah, it was December 22nd.

02:33:55.000 I remember Jackie was going to visit you.

02:33:57.000 And remember it was Hawaii, right?

02:33:59.000 They were going off?

02:34:00.000 No, New York.

02:34:00.000 New York.

02:34:01.000 Yeah, I was going to go to take Chrissy and Alina to New York.

02:34:05.000 We were going to go to New York for the holidays, for Christmas and New Year's.

02:34:08.000 My wife was like, now you're not, because you did this, you don't get to go to New York with your family.

02:34:13.000 And they went at me.

02:34:15.000 But then again, Chrissy, I woke up in the ICU and Chrissy and Alina were there and we celebrated Christmas in the ICU. Wow.

02:34:22.000 That was a pivotal moment.

02:34:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:34:25.000 So you just decided on the spot, no more drinking?

02:34:28.000 Yeah.

02:34:29.000 I just said, alright, I think I'm done.

02:34:31.000 Wow.

02:34:32.000 And again, I was preparing, because a few years earlier, maybe eight years earlier, I tried quitting drinking.

02:34:40.000 You told me about this.

02:34:40.000 You were talking to me about pot.

02:34:42.000 Yeah.

02:34:43.000 We were talking about, you were like, I've got to stop drinking.

02:34:46.000 How far did you get?

02:34:47.000 I went a year and a half without drinking, I think.

02:34:51.000 That's pretty good.

02:34:52.000 Yeah, but I hated every minute of it.

02:34:54.000 Really?

02:34:55.000 Yeah.

02:34:55.000 It was like, every day I thought it would be nice to drink.

02:34:59.000 Every day.

02:35:00.000 You just hung in there for a few hundred days.

02:35:02.000 Yeah.

02:35:02.000 Wow.

02:35:03.000 Still pretty good.

02:35:04.000 Yeah.

02:35:05.000 But even now, I'll still go, oh, I'll think, yeah, I do miss the taste of scotch.

02:35:10.000 Because you work so hard to learn to like it.

02:35:13.000 Yeah.

02:35:14.000 And you really like scotch.

02:35:16.000 Yeah.

02:35:16.000 What are the positive benefits of not drinking?

02:35:20.000 Of not drinking?

02:35:22.000 You don't hit me.

02:35:23.000 That's true.

02:35:24.000 But that's only positive for you, Paul.

02:35:26.000 That's true.

02:35:26.000 I thought we were talking about everybody's positive thing.

02:35:28.000 This doesn't really affect me.

02:35:28.000 Oh, yeah, whatever.

02:35:30.000 I think that I don't do anything to unknowingly embarrass my daughter.

02:35:38.000 If I'm going to embarrass my daughter now, it's deliberate.

02:35:41.000 Right.

02:35:44.000 Yeah, that's mostly just remembering things, knowing where I was the night before.

02:35:50.000 I don't drink and I embarrass my son every single day just by walking around.

02:35:55.000 Just being near him.

02:35:57.000 Just being next to him.

02:35:58.000 He's like, come on, Dad.

02:35:59.000 Do you think you are a genetic alcoholic or is this like a learned thing?

02:36:04.000 Well, it's hard to say because, I mean, obviously alcoholism runs in my family, but is that just because, you know, we were raised by a horrible alcoholic?

02:36:11.000 Do you think there's a genetic connection?

02:36:15.000 There's probably a genetic predisposition to it.

02:36:17.000 Yeah.

02:36:18.000 I think there's genetic connections to almost all behavior.

02:36:21.000 Yeah.

02:36:22.000 I don't think there's a lot of real free will.

02:36:26.000 Yeah, I've come to that more and more as I get older.

02:36:30.000 I mean, I battle with it because obviously there are conscious choices that you can make, especially when you really make an effort to move into a certain path of the way of the thinking and believing, but what's causing that?

02:36:43.000 How much of his life experience?

02:36:45.000 Yeah, you can make conscious efforts to, I guess, ameliorate the influences of your genes.

02:36:51.000 But it's like you can live healthy, eat healthy, avoid risks, and you're still going to probably die around 110 at best.

02:36:58.000 At best.

02:36:58.000 If everything goes great.

02:36:59.000 Unless some new advanced medicine.

02:37:02.000 Yeah, I think we're going farther than that, guys.

02:37:03.000 Come on.

02:37:03.000 We very well could.

02:37:05.000 We very well could.

02:37:06.000 I mean, I had David Sinclair from Harvard on. 0.99

02:37:08.000 Two weeks ago, who's a life extension specialist who's talking about some fascinating shit. 0.98

02:37:14.000 You've got to stop those telomeres from snapping off. 0.52

02:37:16.000 I remember the notion, because people always talk about human lifespan is, we used to live to be 40 on air, but human lifespan hasn't changed at all since essentially the beginnings of human beings.

02:37:29.000 It hasn't changed at all.

02:37:32.000 The oldest possible lifespan is still exactly the same as it was 50,000 years ago.

02:37:39.000 It hasn't changed.

02:37:40.000 It's just fewer people are dying young.

02:37:44.000 More people are living close to their potential.

02:37:46.000 And a lot of that is infant mortality.

02:37:48.000 If you look at the actual statistics, the reason why it's so low is not necessarily that no one lived to be 65 back 1,000 years ago.

02:37:56.000 Yeah.

02:37:56.000 Babies died.

02:37:57.000 Yeah.

02:37:57.000 Thousands of years ago, people did live to be over 100. Yeah.

02:38:01.000 But back then, you'd scratch your foot and then die two weeks later.

02:38:04.000 Yeah.

02:38:04.000 You know what I mean?

02:38:05.000 Yeah.

02:38:05.000 Oh, yeah.

02:38:06.000 Infections.

02:38:07.000 But maximum human lifespan hasn't changed at all.

02:38:09.000 And that's the thing that maybe is going to start changing.

02:38:12.000 Do you exercise at all?

02:38:13.000 Never.

02:38:14.000 Never ever in your life?

02:38:15.000 I mean, as a kid, I liked sports.

02:38:17.000 Never go for a hike or anything?

02:38:19.000 Very rarely.

02:38:20.000 Very rarely.

02:38:21.000 You'd feel really good.

02:38:22.000 I probably would.

02:38:23.000 Yeah, it'll relieve a lot of tension.

02:38:24.000 Just a little hike.

02:38:26.000 You don't have to do anything crazy.

02:38:28.000 Yeah.

02:38:28.000 No, I keep meaning, especially now that I'm, I think, not just getting older, but actually old.

02:38:33.000 Yes.

02:38:34.000 Now that I'm actually old.

02:38:35.000 Dude, we were young when we met.

02:38:37.000 I know.

02:38:37.000 We are old people now.

02:38:38.000 I know.

02:38:39.000 If a kid sees us, like, oh, those are old dudes in their 50s.

02:38:42.000 Yeah.

02:38:42.000 We're old dudes.

02:38:43.000 Yeah.

02:38:44.000 No, it's crazy.

02:38:44.000 I mean, yeah, I'm really almost 60. Yeah.

02:38:47.000 You know, 56, that's almost 60. It is.

02:38:50.000 You know.

02:38:50.000 It's closing in on it.

02:38:51.000 Yeah.

02:38:52.000 I'm a terrible-looking 39. It's true.

02:38:55.000 Which is good, though.

02:38:56.000 That gives you longevity in this business.

02:38:59.000 You're a character actor.

02:39:01.000 That's why Steve Martin looks good, because he never looked young.

02:39:03.000 Yeah, gray hair.

02:39:04.000 Gray hair from the jump.

02:39:06.000 Yeah, you could just listen to books on tape and walk.

02:39:10.000 It's great, man.

02:39:11.000 Just find a place.

02:39:13.000 Go Runyon Canyon.

02:39:14.000 Just go walk it.

02:39:15.000 It's so nice because you can do it at your own pace and it's so good.

02:39:18.000 It elevates your heart rate without anything crazy.

02:39:21.000 You don't blow your knees out.

02:39:23.000 You don't have to do anything nuts.

02:39:25.000 You'll feel amazing.

02:39:25.000 I've been on the road, so I haven't been doing it on the road, but I have started doing some light weight lifting and that sort of thing.

02:39:31.000 Oh, great.

02:39:32.000 Just hire someone.

02:39:34.000 Make someone come over to your house and tell you to do it.

02:39:37.000 I think that's the way to do it.

02:39:38.000 Have someone else make you do it.

02:39:39.000 They're there at 10 a.m.

02:39:40.000 Oh, hi, Bob.

02:39:41.000 No way out of it.

02:39:42.000 Yeah.

02:39:43.000 No way out.

02:39:43.000 Yeah.

02:39:44.000 Get some hot Russian lady. 1.00

02:39:46.000 Yells at you.

02:39:47.000 That sounds great.

02:39:48.000 Great.

02:39:48.000 Now there's my next divorce.

02:39:52.000 Are you still doing stand-up?

02:39:54.000 I know you were doing stand-up for a little bit.

02:39:55.000 You know what I am going to do?

02:39:56.000 I have to go pee again.

02:39:58.000 No.

02:39:58.000 Okay.

02:39:59.000 Go ahead.

02:39:59.000 All right.

02:39:59.000 Last one.

02:40:00.000 All right.

02:40:01.000 But no, I stopped once I got Dr. Ken.

02:40:03.000 Oh, okay.

02:40:05.000 Stop peeing?

02:40:06.000 No, no.

02:40:06.000 Stop doing stand-up once you got the television show.

02:40:08.000 Oh, yeah.

02:40:09.000 Yeah.

02:40:10.000 I love that guy.

02:40:11.000 I don't see him enough.

02:40:13.000 It's cool to see you two guys together.

02:40:16.000 It is.

02:40:17.000 I don't want to say it's a lifetime ago.

02:40:20.000 It is a lifetime ago.

02:40:22.000 But those are in your 20s and 30s, right?

02:40:25.000 Oh, yeah.

02:40:25.000 I mean, I was a totally different human being when I was 27. You were?

02:40:30.000 100%.

02:40:30.000 Yeah, I guess.

02:40:32.000 Yeah, I was crazy.

02:40:33.000 I was completely insane.

02:40:36.000 What was the switch for you? 1.00

02:40:39.000 Well, I got older and wiser and realized how fucking stupid I was. 0.99

02:40:43.000 But also, I was only a few years removed from fighting. 0.99

02:40:46.000 You know, when I first started doing news radio, I was only like five years removed from my last fight.

02:40:53.000 And I still was sparring, so I was still getting hit in the head a lot.

02:40:58.000 Would you, like, come into work with a face full of bruises?

02:41:01.000 No, not that bad.

02:41:02.000 I started doing jujitsu somewhere around NewsRadio, too, around 96. So that was like, I stopped really kickboxing very much after that.

02:41:10.000 And then I think I stopped entirely when I was like 30. I just realized, like, this has got to stop.

02:41:15.000 I've got to stop doing this.

02:41:16.000 So were you like this fit guy that just left it all behind, or did you always keep it up?

02:41:22.000 I work out for sanity.

02:41:23.000 I've always worked out for sanity.

02:41:25.000 There are a lot of people that do that.

02:41:26.000 I need it.

02:41:27.000 You know, for whatever it is.

02:41:29.000 And also, like, my personality was sort of forged by having these moments of clarity after extreme exertion.

02:41:39.000 You know, my personality was formed that way.

02:41:41.000 Like, if I had a problem, if I had something that I was dealing with, I would just blow it out at the gym, and then I'd have a better look at it, and probably wind up calling somebody and apologizing or something.

02:41:49.000 Oh, interesting.

02:41:50.000 It was like a rush of oxygen to the brain.

02:41:54.000 Yeah, well, rush of oxygen in the brain, and maybe even more important than that, a draining of excess energy.

02:42:01.000 Right.

02:42:02.000 Because I think if you develop a certain way, like I did martial arts literally most of my adult life and growing life up until that point.

02:42:12.000 And so my body had sort of developed with this need for that exertion in order to have clarity.

02:42:19.000 Hmm.

02:42:20.000 And so I'm like, this is my formula.

02:42:22.000 I'm sticking with it.

02:42:23.000 So I never let it go.

02:42:24.000 It's amazing that you did stick.

02:42:26.000 That you've never gone away from that.

02:42:29.000 I can't.

02:42:30.000 I won't think right.

02:42:32.000 I don't think right.

02:42:33.000 I think so much better.

02:42:36.000 When I exercise, I mean, there's no comparison.

02:42:38.000 It's like a pill.

02:42:39.000 I did this Sober October fitness challenge thing with my friends in October, and we went crazy.

02:42:47.000 We were working out like three hours a day because we were wearing these heart monitors.

02:42:50.000 And one of the things that I read, because we were trying to get a certain score and whoever got the highest score won.

02:42:54.000 One of the things that I recognized from that was that the more I did, in terms of cardio especially, the less things bothered me.

02:43:02.000 The more clarity I had, the more peaceful I felt, the more at ease I felt, no internal chatter, you know?

02:43:10.000 I just think, for whatever reason, I mean, everybody has their own biological makeup, and for me, my biological makeup is entirely dependent on that.

02:43:18.000 Just forget all the health benefits from it.

02:43:20.000 Health benefits are giant, but for me, it's my mind.

02:43:23.000 Exercise.

02:43:24.000 Oh, exercise.

02:43:25.000 You know, a friend of mine said that sitting is the new smoking.

02:43:28.000 Yeah, they always say that.

02:43:30.000 It's not good for you.

02:43:31.000 It's a compression of your discs, for sure.

02:43:34.000 Especially your lower back.

02:43:35.000 And if you don't have good posture, it's not good.

02:43:38.000 But you can mitigate it with exercise.

02:43:40.000 You've just got to make sure that you don't only sit.

02:43:43.000 Stretch yourself out.

02:43:44.000 Take a yoga class.

02:43:45.000 I'm liking this.

02:43:46.000 I should be writing this down.

02:43:47.000 Seriously.

02:43:48.000 Do you do any exercising?

02:43:51.000 I'm starting more...

02:43:52.000 I found out it's hilarious.

02:43:54.000 I had a golf back injury type thing.

02:43:58.000 Golf? 1.00

02:43:58.000 When you swing that fucking... 1.00

02:44:00.000 There's a lot of torque. 1.00

02:44:01.000 It's hard.

02:44:01.000 It's hard on your back.

02:44:02.000 So I go to the doctor and x-rays me and I got freaking scoliosis that I never knew.

02:44:08.000 Oh, wow.

02:44:09.000 All my life.

02:44:10.000 Oh, wow.

02:44:11.000 At the bottom of my spine.

02:44:13.000 What do they do about that?

02:44:14.000 Laugh at me.

02:44:17.000 By the way, I'm in there with my wife, Jackie, while he brings in the x-rays, puts them up in the thing and goes, Hey, buddy, you got scoliosis!

02:44:27.000 And she bursts out laughing.

02:44:31.000 And says, That's why you walk that way!

02:44:35.000 Oh, my God!

02:44:36.000 For real.

02:44:37.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

02:44:39.000 Every school at some point had the one hot girl with scoliosis who had the headgear on, right? 1.00

02:44:45.000 Every school had that hot girl. 1.00

02:44:46.000 Yeah.

02:44:47.000 Then we'd go, oh, she didn't have the headgear on, man. 0.93

02:44:49.000 She's really hot. 0.91

02:44:50.000 They had to have headgear for scoliosis?

02:44:51.000 Yeah, it was like a...

02:44:52.000 They tried to straighten it out back then.

02:44:54.000 ...and it had metal rods that were tied into the head.

02:44:59.000 Oh, was that a scoliosis thing?

02:44:59.000 Yeah.

02:44:59.000 I thought that was a broken neck.

02:45:00.000 Yeah, it was a scoliosis.

02:45:01.000 That's a neck halo.

02:45:02.000 I know her girl had a whole... 0.96

02:45:05.000 Chest thing?

02:45:05.000 Yeah, she had a big plastic thing that she had to wear to keep her spine straight.

02:45:10.000 She had to wear it for two years or something.

02:45:11.000 Did it work?

02:45:12.000 Sure, I guess.

02:45:13.000 You didn't stay in touch?

02:45:14.000 No.

02:45:15.000 What do they do with it now?

02:45:17.000 It's still the same thing.

02:45:18.000 I had a meeting with the specialist and he's like, well, I like operating on people.

02:45:25.000 That's the first thing he says.

02:45:27.000 That's what I do.

02:45:29.000 That's why I got into this. 0.95

02:45:30.000 I like cutting them when they're asleep.

02:45:33.000 You can do some exercises and some physical therapy and stuff to alleviate it and if it gets so bad down the road, I could maybe help you out with some rods.

02:45:45.000 So you went in there because there was an initial issue.

02:45:50.000 I had, like, issues when I was young, when I used to do, like, track and field and stuff.

02:45:54.000 I would get, like, a pain in an area.

02:45:56.000 And then it kind of went away most of my life.

02:45:58.000 Then I started golfing.

02:46:00.000 And then I golfed more and more.

02:46:02.000 And then one day I didn't warm up.

02:46:04.000 And I did a twist.

02:46:06.000 And it just freaking...

02:46:08.000 Yeah.

02:46:09.000 And it was in a certain spot.

02:46:11.000 And I went.

02:46:11.000 And it was like, you've always had this condition.

02:46:15.000 Yeah.

02:46:15.000 Oh, look at this.

02:46:16.000 There's a picture of Paul.

02:46:17.000 There you go.

02:46:18.000 I know.

02:46:18.000 I look terrible in that photo.

02:46:20.000 That's a strange look.

02:46:21.000 Wow.

02:46:22.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

02:46:22.000 What's going on with his dick? 1.00

02:46:24.000 His dick's getting constricted. 1.00

02:46:27.000 That's something they'd wear in the group. 1.00

02:46:29.000 Under the pants, maybe.

02:46:30.000 That's just the costume from TLC. It's something Bowie would have worn.

02:46:34.000 Yeah.

02:46:34.000 It's hilarious.

02:46:35.000 In his androgynous phase.

02:46:37.000 Yeah.

02:46:38.000 They said I just got to suck it up and exercise and get a strong core.

02:46:41.000 And I should be fine.

02:46:43.000 Take yoga.

02:46:44.000 I gotta do that.

02:46:45.000 I love it.

02:46:45.000 That's like appearing for old people.

02:46:47.000 You do yoga?

02:46:48.000 All the time, yeah.

02:46:49.000 Did you just start it as an old person?

02:46:50.000 No, I did it when I was younger, and then I didn't do it seriously until about three, four years ago.

02:46:57.000 Then I just do it, and now I do it almost everywhere.

02:46:58.000 Because you always did martial arts, and I always feel like yoga was for people that just were too lazy for martial arts.

02:47:03.000 No, yoga does some things that really enhance martial arts, in fact.

02:47:08.000 Are you a hot yoga guy?

02:47:09.000 Yeah, I like that stuff.

02:47:10.000 That seems like torture to me.

02:47:12.000 It is a little bit of torture, but it's really good for you because your body produces heat shock proteins that are similar to when you go into a sauna.

02:47:18.000 You feel great when you come out of there?

02:47:19.000 You feel great, but it's also really good for inflammation.

02:47:21.000 Just the act of doing it itself in the extreme heat.

02:47:25.000 Like, sauna would be amazing for you, too, for that reason.

02:47:29.000 There's a woman named Dr. Rhonda Patrick that's a regular on the show. 0.99

02:47:32.000 I have her on all the time, and she's a genius, but she's a huge believer in sauna.

02:47:37.000 They did a study in Sweden or some shit where they took people with regular sauna use versus not, and the regular sauna use had a 40% decrease in all-cause mortality, heart attack, stroke, cancer. 0.63

02:47:52.000 What?

02:47:53.000 Yes, because when you're regularly using it, 20 minutes a day for four days a week, what they're essentially saying is that your body producing those heat shock proteins and those cytokines...

02:48:03.000 20 minutes of yoga?

02:48:04.000 Yeah, no, no, no.

02:48:05.000 Heat.

02:48:05.000 Heat, sauna, just sauna.

02:48:07.000 Just sauna heat.

02:48:08.000 Sitting in a sauna, going in a sauna.

02:48:09.000 I've got a sauna out here.

02:48:10.000 Sit in a sauna, 20 minutes.

02:48:11.000 Just doing that is...

02:48:15.000 Almost all ailments and issues deal with inflammation.

02:48:18.000 Yeah.

02:48:19.000 Well, I have two pinched nerves right now and like herniated discs.

02:48:26.000 And I was like on the couch for like two months, couldn't move.

02:48:31.000 Is that from your injury?

02:48:32.000 No, I don't think it was.

02:48:34.000 I don't know what it was from, but it may have been.

02:48:36.000 It may have been, but it was like one day it just started, my arms started hurting.

02:48:41.000 You're pointing towards your neck.

02:48:42.000 Yeah, it's like somewhere in here, the herniated discs are.

02:48:45.000 That makes sense.

02:48:46.000 It's a sciatica type thing?

02:48:47.000 No, no, sciatica is your lower back.

02:48:49.000 Yeah, that's your lower back.

02:48:51.000 Your arm hurts.

02:48:53.000 Two months, my entire arm felt like it was going to explode.

02:48:57.000 It felt like there was this pressure building up, and it was literally like it was going to explode.

02:49:02.000 And I was getting like the shots you get when you're...

02:49:08.000 Epidural.

02:49:09.000 Epidural.

02:49:09.000 I was getting epidural shots that were doing nothing.

02:49:11.000 I was taking 16 Advil a day.

02:49:13.000 Jesus.

02:49:14.000 That's terrible.

02:49:15.000 Don't we take that?

02:49:16.000 Yeah.

02:49:16.000 And I was getting no pain relief at all from it.

02:49:19.000 And then I started using CBD. Oh.

02:49:23.000 And...

02:49:24.000 Like that.

02:49:25.000 It was gone.

02:49:26.000 Amazing.

02:49:26.000 And even now, it's like, you know, I couldn't do any...

02:49:29.000 For two solid months, I couldn't get off the couch.

02:49:31.000 CBD's incredible.

02:49:33.000 Yeah.

02:49:33.000 I use that stuff so much.

02:49:34.000 I got the rubbing stuff.

02:49:36.000 That's great, too.

02:49:36.000 And it makes it better for about two days.

02:49:39.000 It's amazing.

02:49:40.000 He told me, he had recent shoulder surgery, and he said everybody likes to use the rub stuff, but you really should take it with the edible stuff.

02:49:48.000 Like oral CBD and rub stuff works together.

02:49:52.000 Smoking cream?

02:49:52.000 Yeah, I started, I had the cream.

02:49:54.000 No, just pop a pill.

02:49:56.000 Yeah, I had the cream that I rubbed, and then I started using the tincture with it.

02:49:59.000 We have some here if you want some.

02:50:00.000 Yeah, I do.

02:50:01.000 See that case in the back?

02:50:02.000 That case is given to us by Speedweed.

02:50:06.000 Yeah, that big chest.

02:50:08.000 Oh, cool.

02:50:08.000 Just a lot of marijuana.

02:50:10.000 That's a lot of weed.

02:50:11.000 It's crazy.

02:50:11.000 And here's the thing.

02:50:12.000 When I start taking the tincture along with the cream, my arthritis went away, too.

02:50:17.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:50:18.000 Information.

02:50:19.000 You can see these fingers bent, but I couldn't bend my hand.

02:50:23.000 Wow.

02:50:23.000 Yeah.

02:50:23.000 And it's like, that's gone.

02:50:25.000 The inflammation.

02:50:25.000 Yeah, the knee, my arthritis in my knee is completely gone.

02:50:28.000 It'll go away even further if you cut out sugar.

02:50:31.000 Yeah.

02:50:31.000 Cut out sugar in bread.

02:50:33.000 I did that and I felt fantastic once the sugar was gone.

02:50:36.000 Crazy, right?

02:50:37.000 We poison ourselves our whole lives.

02:50:38.000 That is a poison.

02:50:40.000 Sugar, absolutely.

02:50:41.000 That's the one thing.

02:50:42.000 When I quit drinking, I wanted more sugar.

02:50:44.000 Oh, yeah.

02:50:44.000 That was one effect.

02:50:45.000 Because I've never had a sweet tooth, really, but when I quit drinking, I suddenly was craving the chocolate.

02:50:50.000 Of course.

02:50:51.000 Yeah.

02:50:51.000 Makes sense.

02:50:52.000 I should go back to zero sugar.

02:50:53.000 I went zero sugar for a while and it felt amazing.

02:50:56.000 Now I'm just like little tiny bits here and there.

02:50:58.000 Do you do zero?

02:50:59.000 I do.

02:50:59.000 I had dessert Saturday night.

02:51:01.000 I had a big old cake with ice cream on it after dinner.

02:51:05.000 So no sugar.

02:51:06.000 I went on a date with the wife at Mastro's.

02:51:08.000 We had this fat steak and then I got this butter cake with ice cream.

02:51:13.000 That sounds awesome.

02:51:13.000 Oh, it was delicious.

02:51:14.000 That sounds great.

02:51:15.000 So good.

02:51:16.000 So good.

02:51:17.000 Oh, so good.

02:51:18.000 That sounds amazing.

02:51:19.000 How do you say no to that?

02:51:20.000 That sounds amazing. 1.00

02:51:21.000 And occasionally you've got to say fuck it. 1.00

02:51:23.000 That's what I think. 1.00

02:51:24.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:51:24.000 But I just, for the most part, I'm on like an 80-20 diet.

02:51:28.000 80% of it is super healthy.

02:51:30.000 And then the 20% is occasionally.

02:51:32.000 That's cool.

02:51:33.000 Yeah.

02:51:33.000 Yeah, I've seen that two and five fasting, where two days a week you do like 600 calories, and then the rest of the week you can do whatever you want.

02:51:44.000 I'm on the seven and zero diet.

02:51:46.000 Seven pig out?

02:51:47.000 Yeah.

02:51:48.000 I do intermittent fasting.

02:51:52.000 So every night if I have dinner at 7 p.m., I don't eat anything for 16 hours.

02:51:58.000 I do it once a year at Passover.

02:51:59.000 Yeah.

02:52:01.000 Yom Kippur. 0.65

02:52:02.000 Sorry.

02:52:02.000 Yeah.

02:52:02.000 But it was weird.

02:52:03.000 I found my cholesterol just dropped through the floor when I did that, but I haven't been doing it lately.

02:52:08.000 Yeah.

02:52:10.000 Boys, we just did three hours.

02:52:12.000 Oh my god.

02:52:13.000 Can we do this more often?

02:52:14.000 I'd love to.

02:52:15.000 This is only our second podcast ever, believe it or not.

02:52:17.000 It's crazy.

02:52:18.000 Yeah, and I'm in much better shape this time.

02:52:20.000 Yeah, you're great, man.

02:52:21.000 Everything's wonderful.

02:52:22.000 Tell people the name of your podcast again.

02:52:25.000 It reads as, Don't Say with Paul and Dave.

02:52:29.000 Yes.

02:52:30.000 But once you get there, be warned, it's Don't Say Cunt.

02:52:32.000 It's Don't Say Cunt with Paul and Dave.

02:52:34.000 But we can't put that in print.

02:52:36.000 Give away your Instagram handle?

02:52:38.000 I'm Paul Greenberg1.

02:52:39.000 That's E-R-G. And I'm just Dave Foley on Instagram. 0.99

02:52:43.000 And I'm Dave S. Foley on Twitter.

02:52:48.000 And our show is Don't Say with Paul and Dave.

02:52:54.000 And you know what?

02:52:55.000 And if we've got this wrong, you can just do some sort of web search on your own and maybe not have everything spoon-fed to you. 0.99

02:53:03.000 Get your shit together, folks. 0.98

02:53:05.000 Do some work for once. 0.99

02:53:06.000 Beautiful.

02:53:07.000 Thank you, guys.

02:53:08.000 It was fun.

02:53:08.000 Thanks for having us.

02:53:09.000 That was great.

02:53:10.000 Thank you.

02:53:12.000 That was great.

02:53:13.000 That was really fun.

02:53:14.000 Thank you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - February 25, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1252 - Dave Foley & Paul Greenberg

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