The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1281 - Tom Papa

00:00:02.000 Four, three, two, one.

00:00:06.000 And we're live.

00:00:07.000 Tom Papa.

00:00:08.000 Joe Rogan.

00:00:10.000 Good to see you, buddy.

00:00:11.000 Good to see you.

00:00:12.000 Crack and lacking.

00:00:12.000 I know, not too much.

00:00:14.000 Cruising around.

00:00:14.000 We were talking about old bodies falling apart.

00:00:16.000 Yeah.

00:00:17.000 I got a stem cell shot in my shoulder that's killing me right now.

00:00:20.000 Yeah, I can tell.

00:00:21.000 You're in pain.

00:00:22.000 Woo! 0.99

00:00:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:00:23.000 One shot?

00:00:24.000 Well, I got several in both shoulders. 0.99

00:00:27.000 And this is not like anything that's a serious injury, but they've been annoying me lately, so I said, fuck it, let me just go in there. 0.96

00:00:34.000 Every time I've done it, it's made me feel better. 0.98

00:00:35.000 Right.

00:00:36.000 How often do you have to go?

00:00:37.000 I've been doing it like once every six months.

00:00:39.000 Right.

00:00:40.000 Yeah, that's what I have been doing.

00:00:41.000 And then it kind of is okay for a while.

00:00:43.000 Yeah.

00:00:43.000 Right.

00:00:44.000 And once every six months seems to keep me in, but it's expensive.

00:00:47.000 So is it not curing whatever it has to be? 0.98

00:00:50.000 It's healing it, but then I'm being a moron and going back to working out hard. 0.98

00:00:54.000 Right. 0.97

00:00:54.000 What we were just saying is that soft tissue heals. 0.97

00:00:58.000 This is a soft tissue issue.

00:01:00.000 Soft tissue is one of the best things for things like stem cell therapy because you can actually regenerate tissue and it can heal things.

00:01:08.000 Where it gets a real problem, my friend Miriam Nakamoto, she brought over those snacks, those bags of snacks that were there.

00:01:14.000 She's a little snack company. 1.00

00:01:16.000 She's a multiple-time world Muay Thai champion.

00:01:20.000 Muay toy? 0.99

00:01:21.000 Muay Thai.

00:01:22.000 Muay Thai.

00:01:22.000 Thai boxing?

00:01:23.000 Uh-huh.

00:01:23.000 You don't even know what that is?

00:01:24.000 Muay Thai, no. 0.57

00:01:25.000 Never heard of that?

00:01:26.000 Nope.

00:01:26.000 You're so...

00:01:28.000 What are you?

00:01:29.000 White. 0.81

00:01:30.000 Yeah, you're white. 0.96

00:01:31.000 But you're also like a non-jock. 0.84

00:01:34.000 Well, I was a jock my whole life.

00:01:35.000 What would you do?

00:01:36.000 I played football.

00:01:38.000 Oh, that's right.

00:01:39.000 I played football forever and track and a bunch of stuff.

00:01:41.000 But then I stopped. 1.00

00:01:42.000 Did you fuck your body up at all? 1.00

00:01:44.000 No, not too bad. 1.00

00:01:46.000 My shoulder's a little bit.

00:01:47.000 My shoulder's a little, but that's pretty much it.

00:01:51.000 My knees, you know, like I run a lot now.

00:01:53.000 I've been running a lot for the last couple months.

00:01:55.000 What brought that on?

00:01:57.000 I just want to be in better shape.

00:01:58.000 I want to feel better.

00:02:00.000 I dropped, like, 15 pounds.

00:02:02.000 Yeah, burning off some of the bread.

00:02:04.000 Exactly.

00:02:05.000 I was like, maybe, maybe.

00:02:08.000 Yeah, your face looks thinner, man.

00:02:09.000 Yeah.

00:02:10.000 It looks good.

00:02:11.000 Congratulations.

00:02:11.000 That's awesome.

00:02:12.000 Thanks, man.

00:02:12.000 That's a cool thing.

00:02:13.000 Once you get going, right?

00:02:14.000 Yeah.

00:02:14.000 You get that momentum.

00:02:15.000 That's what's up.

00:02:16.000 Well, you know what really was up was I was kind of cruising along and just, like, we lost five pounds and just kind of, like, hanging around.

00:02:23.000 And then I realized...

00:02:25.000 I'm working out, like, this workout that I'm doing would have been a warm-up when I was an athlete.

00:02:32.000 Like, this wouldn't even have been a warm-up.

00:02:34.000 And I'm like, oh, that was pretty good.

00:02:36.000 And I was like, I have to stop being a sissy and try and really push a little more.

00:02:40.000 Why don't you get a trainer? 0.99

00:02:41.000 Eh, I don't like intimacy.

00:02:43.000 Ooh.

00:02:45.000 That's real.

00:02:46.000 Well, you know what else you can do?

00:02:47.000 There's actually apps where you can follow an app, and the app will put you through a workout.

00:02:52.000 Oh, yeah?

00:02:53.000 Yeah.

00:02:53.000 There's several of them now.

00:02:54.000 They're really good.

00:02:55.000 Oh, cool.

00:02:56.000 There's a bunch of really good ones.

00:02:56.000 I don't have any affiliation with any of them, so I'm not naming any of them, but you can even get a yoga one.

00:03:03.000 You can get a 90-minute yoga one where you just do yoga, and it talks you through the poses.

00:03:08.000 That's great.

00:03:09.000 Yeah.

00:03:09.000 I used to do yoga all the time, but I feel like I have to shift into lifting weights again.

00:03:14.000 Yeah?

00:03:15.000 Yeah, because I've just been dropping.

00:03:17.000 No, but I just feel like, you know, I don't want to be the guy at the pool with no arms.

00:03:25.000 You know what I mean?

00:03:26.000 How many people have motivated themselves by going to the beach or the pool with very little clothes on? 0.99

00:03:32.000 I thought about, fuck, summertime. 1.00

00:03:34.000 Fuck, people are going to know. 1.00

00:03:35.000 Yeah, right, exactly. 1.00

00:03:37.000 I reveal my secret.

00:03:39.000 People are going to know what disgusts me about me.

00:03:42.000 Yeah.

00:03:43.000 This is my gluttony.

00:03:44.000 Look at it.

00:03:44.000 This is my laziness.

00:03:46.000 Look!

00:03:46.000 This is what I did all winter.

00:03:48.000 This is my poor food choices right here.

00:03:50.000 Look!

00:03:50.000 I'm fine with it.

00:03:51.000 This is drinking.

00:03:52.000 This is all the upper part.

00:03:53.000 Yeah, this is the part right on the sides. 0.98

00:03:57.000 But then when I started getting after and being like, don't be such a sissy. 0.96

00:04:00.000 Work out. 0.96

00:04:01.000 Try and push it.

00:04:02.000 Then I wanted to do it more.

00:04:05.000 Then I got into it.

00:04:06.000 Then I'm like, alright, let's go.

00:04:07.000 Now I'm going further.

00:04:09.000 I'm going quicker.

00:04:10.000 But this has all been cardio.

00:04:12.000 It's all cardio.

00:04:13.000 What about just bodyweight stuff?

00:04:16.000 It's not a bad idea to start off with bodyweight.

00:04:18.000 Just push-ups.

00:04:19.000 Yeah, because you haven't really done much like that.

00:04:22.000 In a while.

00:04:22.000 Yeah, it's chin-ups, push-ups, and bodyweight squats really don't need much else.

00:04:27.000 Really?

00:04:28.000 Not really.

00:04:29.000 I've been doing more push-ups, but that's it.

00:04:30.000 Dude, you can get a ferocious workout in with change grip push-ups, chin-ups, bodyweight squats.

00:04:37.000 Just those things.

00:04:38.000 Does that mean I have to get one of those chin-up bars that goes in the doorway that... 0.97

00:04:41.000 Yeah, get a real one though, because those things fall and people die.

00:04:45.000 Those ones that hang, folks, listen to me.

00:04:47.000 Those ones that hang on the door jamb?

00:04:50.000 I used to work construction. 1.00

00:04:52.000 Those fucking things are not designed for you hanging on them. 1.00

00:04:54.000 They have little tiny nails! 1.00

00:04:56.000 And guess what?

00:04:57.000 People like me probably installed them, and sometimes you don't hit a stud. 0.99

00:05:01.000 So that little tiny nail is going right into the fucking drywall, and you're hanging that thing over there, and it's pulling on that sucker. 0.98

00:05:08.000 No, then I'll mess my shoulder up. 1.00

00:05:10.000 Get those fuckers that drill into the side of the door. 1.00

00:05:13.000 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:05:14.000 The ones that go right in the side. 0.58

00:05:16.000 They screw it in this way.

00:05:17.000 Oh, into the jam.

00:05:18.000 And it's like four screws on each side.

00:05:20.000 That'll hold your weight.

00:05:21.000 That'll hold your weight.

00:05:22.000 I'll get that.

00:05:23.000 That one'll work.

00:05:24.000 Because you're pulling down on the wood.

00:05:26.000 So the way those things are, it's like sitting on the wood.

00:05:28.000 You know those ones that hook over the top of the door? 1.00

00:05:31.000 That shit is a recipe for a broken neck. 0.99

00:05:33.000 I feel like that thing was in like every 80s movie. 1.00

00:05:36.000 Yeah, I mean, I'm sure they have good ones that do that.

00:05:39.000 I'm sure they do.

00:05:40.000 Yeah, sure. 1.00

00:05:40.000 But you should really check out your fucking moldings first. 1.00

00:05:44.000 Give those moldings a pull. 1.00

00:05:45.000 Why don't I just lay on the ground and do some push-ups? 0.99

00:05:47.000 Yeah, but a real chin-up bar, man, a real chin-up bar is, I mean, if you just got one in a park, Just go to the fucking park. 0.99

00:05:53.000 You're outside. 0.94

00:05:54.000 A lot of parks have those chin-up bars, those little setups where you can do calisthenics.

00:05:59.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:05:59.000 Nobody ever uses those.

00:06:00.000 Chin-ups are no joke. 1.00

00:06:01.000 Nobody ever uses those, but those are great for working out, man.

00:06:04.000 I know.

00:06:05.000 They seem too simple.

00:06:06.000 They seem like, oh, ladies must go over there. 1.00

00:06:08.000 Bro, I go to Nautilus.

00:06:10.000 I don't need this.

00:06:11.000 Right, exactly.

00:06:12.000 I do my leg extensions on Nautilus.

00:06:14.000 I got my membership I use once a month.

00:06:17.000 Bodyweight squats seem easy when you do three.

00:06:19.000 Yeah. 0.97

00:06:20.000 But when you do a hundred, they become very fucking hard. 0.95

00:06:23.000 Right. 1.00

00:06:23.000 When you get to like 70, you're like, holy shit. 1.00

00:06:26.000 You feel that burn, baby. 0.99

00:06:27.000 And you start counting down in tens.

00:06:29.000 I remember doing push-ups when we played football and you would do, you know, 200. It'd be like 200. You'd break them up.

00:06:36.000 In a row?

00:06:37.000 No, break them up.

00:06:37.000 How many do we do in a row?

00:06:38.000 We do like 30 and then split them up.

00:06:42.000 And that was a big time workout.

00:06:45.000 And now I'm doing like 25. I'm like, alright, I'm good for a couple days.

00:06:48.000 It's hard, man.

00:06:50.000 It is hard. 0.99

00:06:50.000 Getting anywhere more than 30 push-ups is like, woo, shit starts getting crazy. 0.99

00:06:54.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:06:57.000 It's a lot of pushing.

00:07:00.000 Your body has to be conditioned for that.

00:07:02.000 And if it's not, it lets you know.

00:07:03.000 You're like, 33!

00:07:05.000 Your arms start shaking.

00:07:06.000 You get cocky around 19, though. 0.97

00:07:09.000 You get to like 18, 19, like, bro, I'm feeling fucking smooth. 0.66

00:07:12.000 It's so funny how whatever number you have in your head is where you start to...

00:07:16.000 If you say I'm doing 20, you start shaking at 18. If you say I'm doing 25, you don't start shaking until 23. It's a real mental thing.

00:07:24.000 You know what's really fucking cool that I got? 0.95

00:07:26.000 Rogue makes this thing that it's like a bamboo pole. 0.94

00:07:31.000 And on the end of the pole, you put rubber straps.

00:07:35.000 You know those bands?

00:07:38.000 And then from those bands, you hang kettlebells.

00:07:41.000 Off of the bamboo stick?

00:07:43.000 Yes.

00:07:43.000 So as you're doing this bench, I can't lift my right arm up.

00:07:47.000 It's in pain right now, otherwise I'll show you.

00:07:48.000 As you're doing this thing, everything's all wobbly.

00:07:52.000 Everything's super, super wobbly.

00:07:54.000 Because first of all, the kettlebell is hanging from rubber, and the stick, this bamboo thing, is super wobbly.

00:08:02.000 And as you lift weights with that, it's really good for your stabilizing muscles.

00:08:06.000 It's called an earthquake bar.

00:08:07.000 That's what it's called.

00:08:08.000 Oh, cool.

00:08:09.000 Or there's a version of it.

00:08:09.000 What's a stabilizing muscle?

00:08:11.000 Watch the video online or someone will take us offline.

00:08:16.000 Yeah, the earthquake bar.

00:08:17.000 Yeah, that's exactly the one I have.

00:08:18.000 We have that out there.

00:08:19.000 I'll show it to you afterwards.

00:08:20.000 It's really cool. 0.97

00:08:21.000 Because even lightweight, like if you had to do 70 pounds with that, like 35 on each side, it's awkward as fuck. 0.95

00:08:27.000 But that doesn't look like something you want to use in your house or you're going to ruin your floors. 0.93

00:08:30.000 Put rubber on the floor.

00:08:32.000 Rubber on the floors.

00:08:33.000 Yeah, put rubber all over your house so nothing gets ruined.

00:08:36.000 Did you have grandparents that put plastic over the furniture?

00:08:39.000 Oh, yeah.

00:08:39.000 My nana.

00:08:42.000 My nana in Clifton, New Jersey.

00:08:44.000 Yeah, mine was in Newark. 0.99

00:08:46.000 Yeah, they put fucking plastic over the furniture. 0.99

00:08:49.000 It was a big deal. 0.99

00:08:50.000 You spent a lot of money on that couch.

00:08:52.000 It's going to have to last our whole life.

00:08:54.000 I was always confused when I was a little kid.

00:08:55.000 I'd sit on that couch.

00:08:56.000 I'd be like, this is terrible.

00:08:58.000 Especially in the summer with your shorts.

00:09:00.000 And the back of your legs would just be sweating at Nana's house.

00:09:02.000 And they eventually got kind of like yellowed by the sun and by use.

00:09:07.000 Crackly.

00:09:08.000 So it was weird.

00:09:09.000 Yeah.

00:09:09.000 It was like, ugh.

00:09:10.000 You would like put like a jacket down and then you would sit on your jacket.

00:09:14.000 That whole generation never had comfort. 1.00

00:09:16.000 Like, their beds were hard, the pillows were shit. 1.00

00:09:21.000 Live through the fucking depression, man. 1.00

00:09:23.000 Yeah, that's real. 1.00

00:09:25.000 That shit, people starved to death. 1.00

00:09:27.000 No. 1.00

00:09:28.000 This was a barbaric time where people were brought down to, you know, base humanity to survival.

00:09:35.000 It was rough.

00:09:36.000 And then you have like 15 good years and then go into World War II. And they dealt with that.

00:09:42.000 So yeah, they were like, we don't need comfort.

00:09:45.000 We're not laying around in our sweatpants on beanbag chairs.

00:09:49.000 Well, they knew the importance of being vigilant, right?

00:09:51.000 Do you follow David Goggins online?

00:09:55.000 No.

00:09:56.000 Do you know who he is?

00:09:57.000 No.

00:09:58.000 David Goggins is this Navy SEAL who now is more or less a motivational and fitness influencer.

00:10:09.000 Oh, the guy who runs with broken knees? 1.00

00:10:12.000 Oh, he's a fucking savage. 1.00

00:10:13.000 Yeah, I've seen some of his clips. 1.00

00:10:15.000 How many 100 mile runs did he run in a row? 0.99

00:10:19.000 Some fucking preposterous number. 0.99

00:10:21.000 Yeah, I don't remember. 0.99

00:10:22.000 I don't want to say because I can't remember at all.

00:10:23.000 I want to say six or seven, but then it's like 12 or 13. Of 100 miles?

00:10:27.000 I don't remember.

00:10:27.000 I don't remember at all.

00:10:28.000 But his whole thing is stay hard.

00:10:30.000 Like, he'll send me a text out of nowhere. 1.00

00:10:32.000 Like, just say, stay hard, motherfucker! 1.00

00:10:36.000 There's a lot of weak-ass bitches out there. 1.00

00:10:38.000 Because, first of all, if you're a Navy SEAL, this is the pinnacle of hand-to-hand combat and armed forces. 1.00

00:10:48.000 Those motherfuckers are all special humans. 1.00

00:10:50.000 And then on top of those motherfuckers being all special humans, there's guys that can just put a little of that message out. 1.00

00:10:57.000 Like, hey, you are soft as fuck compared to how people used to be. 1.00

00:11:02.000 You're all soft as fuck. 1.00

00:11:05.000 Compared to those World War II people. 1.00

00:11:07.000 You've got to stay vigilant.

00:11:09.000 Back then, everybody had to stay vigilant.

00:11:10.000 Yeah.

00:11:11.000 You had to deal with just day-to-day life.

00:11:14.000 You had to deal with what was coming from Hitler. 0.80

00:11:17.000 You had to tune in at a certain time to find out what was happening.

00:11:20.000 Everybody had to gather around the TV for the news.

00:11:22.000 That was all the news you got.

00:11:24.000 That's all the news you got.

00:11:25.000 You only got an hour's worth.

00:11:26.000 That was it. 0.99

00:11:27.000 They didn't know what the fuck was going on. 0.99

00:11:29.000 Nothing. 0.99

00:11:30.000 Nothing.

00:11:30.000 And they were better off for it.

00:11:32.000 Were they really?

00:11:33.000 What's that?

00:11:34.000 I'm so tired of that.

00:11:35.000 What?

00:11:35.000 That they were better off for it?

00:11:36.000 I don't need to know.

00:11:37.000 They were so not better off for it.

00:11:39.000 Why? 1.00

00:11:39.000 Way better off recognizing that you're luckier than those people, having some fucking discipline, watching a David Goggins Instagram clip, and get your fucking shit together, Tom Papa. 1.00

00:11:52.000 No, I agree with everything you just said, but I'm saying they were better off not being fed a news diet 24 hours a day. 1.00

00:12:02.000 Mentally.

00:12:03.000 Mentally, probably.

00:12:04.000 We're the first human beings that have had to deal with this onslaught.

00:12:07.000 It's a double-edged sword, because if you don't get fed that, you don't find out about Julian Assange getting kicked out of the embassy.

00:12:14.000 In London, you don't find out about a million different stories that are in the news.

00:12:19.000 It's a fun story, it's a cool story, but do I need to know it?

00:12:22.000 It's a fun story!

00:12:24.000 That's a quote for you from now on.

00:12:26.000 Hey, what about Julian Assange?

00:12:28.000 Tom Papa, hands up.

00:12:29.000 In quotes.

00:12:29.000 It's a fun story, it's a cool story, but I don't need to know it.

00:12:33.000 Holy shit. 0.99

00:12:34.000 Really? 1.00

00:12:35.000 You just redefined white privilege.

00:12:37.000 You hit it. 1.00

00:12:39.000 You hit it on the head and lit it on fire.

00:12:42.000 No, but seriously, what can I do about a lot of these?

00:12:46.000 You know, look, I think it's good that information's flowing and that moves everybody forward, but, you know, for me sitting in there trying to tell some jokes and feed my kids, it's like, do I need to know everything, every trouble spot going around the world?

00:12:58.000 Well, it's like, that is a very good question.

00:13:00.000 It's like, how much responsibility do you have to be tuned in to all the events of the world and to act?

00:13:06.000 Like, how much responsibility do you have outside of voting?

00:13:08.000 And do you have the responsibility to vote?

00:13:10.000 Because there's some people that are very interesting people that don't vote.

00:13:13.000 Yeah.

00:13:14.000 You know?

00:13:14.000 I don't agree with that.

00:13:17.000 Yeah, it's a...

00:13:18.000 I want to participate.

00:13:19.000 I understand that, but I don't think Michael Malice votes, doesn't he?

00:13:24.000 Didn't he say he doesn't vote?

00:13:26.000 I think he said he doesn't...

00:13:29.000 I forget his reasoning, but it was very logical.

00:13:33.000 No, I understand the argument.

00:13:34.000 And even if it seems kind of false, I think it kind of like mentally engages you in the world.

00:13:41.000 It's like you should be trying to participate.

00:13:43.000 I think his perspective is that as a commentator on the world, that'd be better off if he didn't actually vote.

00:13:52.000 And just look at it how he really sees it.

00:13:56.000 On both sides.

00:13:57.000 Right.

00:13:57.000 To stay impartial.

00:13:59.000 Yeah.

00:13:59.000 I'm sure I'm butchering the way he would phrase it.

00:14:02.000 Right.

00:14:02.000 But I think it's in the spirit of that.

00:14:04.000 Yeah.

00:14:04.000 If you vote, you don't have a right to complain.

00:14:10.000 All right.

00:14:11.000 Okay, that doesn't even make sense.

00:14:13.000 That doesn't make any sense at all.

00:14:15.000 That was deep.

00:14:16.000 Well, you know.

00:14:18.000 But I think...

00:14:19.000 But look, it's a lot...

00:14:20.000 Look, I think it's...

00:14:22.000 Trying to be a good person on just a person level and trying to take care of your family and work hard and be good with people and help your community.

00:14:29.000 That's kind of the extent of what you can do and hopefully that spreads out.

00:14:34.000 But, you know, Julian Assange, okay.

00:14:40.000 Well, really, I mean, why is that, you know, like all those people that we're talking about at that generation that only got news during that six o'clock hour, you know, were they less citizens of the world because they only got that little dose?

00:14:55.000 I don't know.

00:14:56.000 They were less informed and the idea is that more people can get away with things they shouldn't be able to get away with.

00:15:01.000 Like what's happening right now with Julian Assange.

00:15:04.000 Julian Assange, in anybody's estimation, if you look at what he did, he distributed information that was extremely interesting to most people in the world.

00:15:14.000 That didn't know about it.

00:15:16.000 Right. 1.00

00:15:17.000 Exposed a lot of scary shit. 1.00

00:15:19.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:15:19.000 Exposed a lot of corruption. 1.00

00:15:20.000 Exposed a lot of, I mean, what corruption did it expose?

00:15:24.000 I know it exposed, there was that collateral murder video.

00:15:29.000 That was one of the first ones where they showed them shooting.

00:15:32.000 They shot at these guys who they thought were soldiers, and they were reporters.

00:15:39.000 Uh-huh.

00:15:40.000 And it was sort of just the way they dealt with it.

00:15:42.000 It was very scary for people watching that someone could just like dehumanize accidentally killing the wrong people.

00:15:48.000 Right.

00:15:49.000 And make it like...

00:15:49.000 That was the military?

00:15:50.000 They were making it like, you know, hey, but you kind of have to be in that mindset to be able to gun people down from the sky in the first place.

00:15:57.000 The whole...

00:15:58.000 Look, you've got to put yourself in the perspective of someone who has to do that job.

00:16:02.000 And you take a regular person, and then you train them to do that job, and then you ask them to go and pull the trigger on people.

00:16:08.000 They're going to develop a coldness to them.

00:16:10.000 They have to, right?

00:16:12.000 But to see it.

00:16:13.000 So what Julian Assange did is he showed it to us.

00:16:17.000 And then he released all sorts of...

00:16:20.000 I mean, I'm embarrassed to say that I haven't really studied all the files and what was released and what wasn't.

00:16:27.000 Apparently, when Ben Shapiro was here, he said that people's names got put out.

00:16:33.000 Apparently, that was someone hacked into WikiLeaks and released that information before they could redact the names.

00:16:39.000 This is what I've been told by multiple sources.

00:16:43.000 But again, I didn't look into it.

00:16:45.000 I don't know if that was correct.

00:16:48.000 They're going to say that he was treasonous or that he was...

00:16:51.000 I don't know what they're going to say.

00:16:52.000 I think the first thing was a sex charge. 0.72

00:16:55.000 That's what they were trying to say, that he had sex with a woman. 0.97

00:16:58.000 He wore a condom, and then they had sex, and then they had sex in the morning with no condom. 0.95

00:17:04.000 And she didn't consent to that, that he just kind of did it or something. 0.61

00:17:07.000 I think they called it surprise sex.

00:17:10.000 And if I'm butchering this, I'm sorry.

00:17:14.000 But that didn't make sense, that they would be going after him that way.

00:17:19.000 It was obviously not about that.

00:17:22.000 Yeah, if you want to get somebody, you go after them for whatever.

00:17:25.000 But I think they're seeing hacking charges now, right?

00:17:28.000 I don't know.

00:17:30.000 I know he went crazy in the embassy, right?

00:17:33.000 He wouldn't clean up after his cat, and he was riding a scooter around.

00:17:36.000 Is that true?

00:17:37.000 I don't know.

00:17:38.000 Who knows what's true?

00:17:39.000 I know that's part of the problem.

00:17:40.000 But that was part of the little story that I caught. 1.00

00:17:42.000 Yeah, Duncan was poetically describing what the embassy must have smelled like with Julian Assange's dirty cat shit wafting through the halls. 1.00

00:17:51.000 This crazy asshole you have staying here. 1.00

00:17:54.000 Who won't leave. 1.00

00:17:55.000 Pamela Anderson comes over every now and then.

00:17:57.000 They get their freak on.

00:17:58.000 The surveillance footage of Julian Assange skateboarding in the Ecuadorian Embassy in London has been leaked.

00:18:04.000 Kinda.

00:18:04.000 Kinda skateboarding.

00:18:05.000 Yeah, but here's the thing, man.

00:18:07.000 Like, what do you want the guy to do?

00:18:08.000 Is there a problem? 0.99

00:18:09.000 He's there for seven fucking years. 1.00

00:18:11.000 No, he must have gone crazy. 1.00

00:18:12.000 I mean, that's like being, you know, under house arrest.

00:18:15.000 Dude, I mean, it's amazing that he lasted that long.

00:18:18.000 What they did, they waited him out, and then they were never gonna wait him out.

00:18:22.000 He was gonna stay in there forever.

00:18:24.000 And then they just got sick of him.

00:18:25.000 They just got sick of him.

00:18:27.000 I think it was also the Ecuadorian president. 1.00

00:18:30.000 I think he took a photograph in front of some lobsters and shit. 0.99

00:18:35.000 And it was from a leaked email. 0.98

00:18:38.000 And that photo got out.

00:18:40.000 And it was very embarrassing to him because his country's in a deep financial crisis.

00:18:44.000 Oh.

00:18:45.000 And he's chilling in some four seasons somewhere.

00:18:48.000 Eating lobster and steak.

00:18:50.000 Eating lobster.

00:18:51.000 Yeah.

00:18:52.000 Well, I don't know.

00:18:53.000 I mean, look.

00:18:54.000 Isn't it funny that when you see pictures of Trump, he's eating Kentucky Fried Chicken?

00:18:57.000 And when you see pictures of this dude, he's eating lobster.

00:19:03.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

00:19:04.000 Trump brings Kentucky Fried Chicken in his fucking private jet. 1.00

00:19:07.000 It's hilarious. 1.00

00:19:09.000 He really loves that stuff.

00:19:10.000 He loves it.

00:19:10.000 He really does.

00:19:11.000 He fucking loves fast food. 0.99

00:19:12.000 Like, when he got all those athletes when they came to visit him and the government was shut down, and he brought them off fast food, he didn't understand. 1.00

00:19:18.000 They were like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:19:19.000 What the fuck is this shit? 1.00

00:19:20.000 And then he had another team showed up months later and he broke out the fast food again. 1.00

00:19:24.000 The government was open.

00:19:25.000 Just imagine.

00:19:27.000 You're going to see the President of the United States.

00:19:30.000 And you're a professional athlete, right?

00:19:32.000 Your body literally is a temple.

00:19:35.000 They were college athletes.

00:19:37.000 Oh, they were college athletes.

00:19:38.000 Yeah, but still dialed in.

00:19:40.000 Listen, let's be real about that, huh? 0.99

00:19:42.000 College athletes should get fucking paid. 1.00

00:19:44.000 That shit is crazy. 1.00

00:19:46.000 That's the biggest robbery in all of athletics is college sports. 1.00

00:19:50.000 Yeah, they get a chance to get into the NBA and the NFL. Yeah, they get a chance.

00:19:53.000 They do.

00:19:54.000 But you're making billions off these kids. 1.00

00:19:56.000 Fucking billions. 1.00

00:19:57.000 Don't give them a sweatshirt. 1.00

00:19:58.000 That's $20. 1.00

00:19:59.000 Look at all that fucking fast food truck. 0.99

00:20:03.000 I'm telling you, man, this guy, in terms of material, current, and future, it's almost like we gluttoned out. 1.00

00:20:10.000 It's almost like Trump was ice cream.

00:20:12.000 When he was in office, he was so good for comedy that there were so many Trump jokes that now everyone's like, no more!

00:20:20.000 I can't do it!

00:20:21.000 I can't fit anymore!

00:20:23.000 I need fries!

00:20:24.000 I need something else!

00:20:25.000 I can't have ice cream!

00:20:28.000 Not one more bite! 0.98

00:20:30.000 Yeah, ice cream's gonna come chucking out of your throat.

00:20:33.000 It's really true. 1.00

00:20:35.000 He's so fucking eccentric. 0.99

00:20:37.000 Like, good or bad. 1.00

00:20:39.000 Just look at him as a human.

00:20:41.000 It's such a rare human being.

00:20:43.000 Yeah.

00:20:44.000 You know? 1.00

00:20:44.000 I mean, you see it with the hair and the fucking constant golfing, even though he's shit on fucking Obama golfing, and he's golfed way more than him! 1.00

00:20:54.000 He doesn't even try to pretend he's not a hypocrite. 1.00

00:20:57.000 No, not at all. 0.99

00:20:58.000 He's just everything. 0.99

00:20:59.000 He's just the fat American on a jet ski just letting it rip. 1.00

00:21:03.000 Dude, it's hilarious. 0.95

00:21:06.000 What's also hilarious is I think this is a real thing.

00:21:10.000 Trump derangement syndrome.

00:21:11.000 I think it's real.

00:21:12.000 You mean people that are obsessed with him?

00:21:14.000 They're obsessed with this is the thing that's going to get him.

00:21:18.000 He'll be out of office in three weeks.

00:21:20.000 Instead of looking at it This is the argument for a guy like Michael Malice.

00:21:26.000 He's an objective analyst, stepping back looking at this.

00:21:30.000 He doesn't have a vested interest in this guy winning or that guy winning.

00:21:34.000 He's just going, hmm, what is this?

00:21:35.000 He's sitting back and watching.

00:21:37.000 If I'm going to take that position.

00:21:39.000 Not emotionally involved.

00:21:40.000 Some people get so emotionally involved, they can't sleep, they start crying, they think it's the end of the world.

00:21:46.000 The world is exactly the same.

00:21:48.000 We just have a different figurehead.

00:21:50.000 And I think it'll present challenges that'll make us more understanding of each other.

00:21:56.000 I really do.

00:21:57.000 That's what I really think.

00:21:58.000 I think there's good and bad about every situation.

00:22:01.000 But the pro I see is communication.

00:22:04.000 If we're just honest with the way we communicate, I think people on the right and people on the left, they share a lot in common.

00:22:11.000 There's a lot that they share rather than what they don't share in common.

00:22:17.000 The only thing they don't share is what they're watching.

00:22:20.000 Well, there's that too.

00:22:21.000 But it's also the vibe you get.

00:22:23.000 Yeah.

00:22:24.000 Like, there's the vibe from these, whatever, whether it's CNN, whatever show you're into, MSNBC, Fox News, they all give out a vibe.

00:22:32.000 Yeah.

00:22:32.000 And that vibe is, you know, we are right, here's what's going on, here's why that's a problem.

00:22:38.000 Right.

00:22:38.000 You know, and everyone has a different problem, and everyone thinks they're right.

00:22:41.000 Right.

00:22:42.000 And then you have, so you have different things, some of them have, like, eagles and flags and da-da-da-da-da.

00:22:48.000 That's Fox News.

00:22:49.000 Yeah.

00:22:49.000 Right?

00:22:49.000 Like, that's my style.

00:22:50.000 I'm into that kind of truth. 1.00

00:22:52.000 Give me that shit. 1.00

00:22:53.000 Yeah, fucking, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:22:55.000 Come over here the right way. 1.00

00:22:57.000 Yeah, right.

00:22:58.000 These guys.

00:22:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:59.000 Let them move into your fucking neighborhood. 1.00

00:23:02.000 Let them move into your fucking neighborhood, Rachel Maddow. 1.00

00:23:05.000 Trucks and hats and guns and go. 1.00

00:23:07.000 So that becomes your team.

00:23:08.000 That becomes your clan.

00:23:09.000 Well, that's what it is.

00:23:10.000 It's the team thing.

00:23:11.000 Yeah.

00:23:12.000 Most of it. 0.99

00:23:13.000 And the unfortunate part is both are saying, are spending so much time, rather than thinking about this is the problem that we have to deal with, they're spending all their time thinking those other people are assholes. 0.99

00:23:25.000 Right, exactly. 0.97

00:23:26.000 It's the venomous attacks against fellow Americans because they have a slightly different view about healthcare.

00:23:34.000 That part is the derangement of the culture right now.

00:23:38.000 They're not enemies.

00:23:39.000 They're Americans.

00:23:40.000 We're all on Team America.

00:23:43.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:23:43.000 If we're going to agree to this fucking thing, look at that, bro. 1.00

00:23:45.000 Exactly. 1.00

00:23:46.000 We're all together. 1.00

00:23:48.000 Let me show you something, bitch. 1.00

00:23:49.000 It is a wild country. 1.00

00:23:51.000 When you travel around...

00:23:52.000 Look at my phone.

00:23:53.000 Watch this.

00:23:54.000 What do you got?

00:23:55.000 Wow.

00:23:57.000 The flag blows in the wind, bro.

00:23:58.000 It moves.

00:24:00.000 I believe in America as a concept.

00:24:01.000 I don't think it's a bad thing to believe in America as a concept.

00:24:05.000 No, come on. 0.85

00:24:05.000 I think we're getting better. 0.85

00:24:06.000 We're working on this.

00:24:08.000 I think this idea that...

00:24:09.000 People were complaining that someone put the American flag on a cop car in California. 1.00

00:24:15.000 Did you see that shit? 1.00

00:24:16.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:16.000 Yeah, like, hey, this is... 1.00

00:24:18.000 We're in America.

00:24:19.000 Yeah.

00:24:19.000 What do you mean they put it on a cop car?

00:24:20.000 What's wrong with putting an American flag on a cop car?

00:24:23.000 Like, just draped it over it?

00:24:24.000 No!

00:24:24.000 Like, they had, like, the side panel where it says the police department has the American flag incorporated into their logo.

00:24:30.000 Oh.

00:24:30.000 Like, what do you, hate America?

00:24:31.000 Yeah, what's wrong with that?

00:24:32.000 Look at that.

00:24:33.000 I like it.

00:24:34.000 Yeah, it's pretty.

00:24:34.000 I like it.

00:24:35.000 I fucking salute those guys if they drove by. 0.98

00:24:37.000 Laguna Beach. 0.99

00:24:37.000 What's the problem? 0.99

00:24:38.000 Yeah.

00:24:39.000 Who doesn't like the American flag?

00:24:40.000 What's wrong with being a patriot?

00:24:42.000 It's imperialism, man.

00:24:43.000 Ah, jeez.

00:24:44.000 It's everything.

00:24:45.000 It's all the good, too.

00:24:46.000 It's all the creativity.

00:24:48.000 Yeah.

00:24:48.000 All the art.

00:24:49.000 All the love.

00:24:50.000 All the positive people.

00:24:51.000 All the opportunity.

00:24:52.000 All the influential people.

00:24:53.000 It's amazing we're one country.

00:24:55.000 Look at this.

00:24:56.000 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:24:56.000 Listen to this fucking quote. 1.00

00:24:57.000 We have such an amazing community of artists here, and I thought the aesthetic didn't really represent our community. 0.99

00:25:03.000 This person said, it feels very aggressive. 0.99

00:25:06.000 Bitch, you're in the winner's team! 1.00

00:25:10.000 Right. 1.00

00:25:10.000 Okay? 1.00

00:25:11.000 You're in Laguna Beach.

00:25:12.000 Yeah, it's aggressive.

00:25:12.000 An artist in Laguna Beach, just loving life.

00:25:15.000 Margaritas every day at four.

00:25:17.000 It's aggressive. 1.00

00:25:17.000 That's why you can walk around with flip-flops, you fucking idiot. 1.00

00:25:21.000 It's aggressive. 1.00

00:25:22.000 Yeah, but it's not aggressive to you.

00:25:25.000 It's not aggressive.

00:25:26.000 Police are your friends.

00:25:28.000 If something happens to your house, who do you want to come?

00:25:31.000 A guy with his watercolor kit or the police?

00:25:35.000 Yeah, but they're not even saying that.

00:25:36.000 Like, the police car, the colors on the car.

00:25:39.000 They're not saying we shouldn't have police.

00:25:41.000 They're saying that flag is too aggressive.

00:25:44.000 Yeah, but it's the flag and the police. 1.00

00:25:46.000 Yeah, but why does the flag make it more aggressive that it's so stupid? 1.00

00:25:50.000 I don't get it. 0.99

00:25:51.000 But it's that thought process.

00:25:52.000 There's just something wrong with us.

00:25:54.000 Well, there is that knee-jerk reaction from people on the far left that think that everything we do is evil. 0.87

00:26:03.000 You know, from the beginning of the country to now, we're just corrupt and evil and awful.

00:26:08.000 Then why are you still here?

00:26:11.000 Why are you going to the arcade?

00:26:13.000 I think they would all admit that it has great qualities.

00:26:15.000 The problem is when people really focus on only the negative aspects.

00:26:21.000 Right.

00:26:22.000 The negative aspects of this country are real.

00:26:24.000 They're real.

00:26:24.000 Of course.

00:26:25.000 From top to bottom.

00:26:26.000 In every group of human beings, the negative aspects are real, but this group of human beings, in a relatively short period of time, this group of human beings has managed to accomplish insane architecture, music, comedy,

00:26:42.000 writing, and dominate the world. 0.84

00:26:45.000 I mean, it's a crazy fucking weird place, but dominate the world... 0.95

00:26:49.000 In a democratic sense? 0.98

00:26:51.000 Right.

00:26:51.000 With a democratic election in their country at least?

00:26:55.000 In a mostly peaceful manner?

00:26:57.000 The real problem is then you start wondering like what the United States does outside of this country and whether or not they should be doing it, right?

00:27:05.000 It's like, are they doing this because they have to do this?

00:27:07.000 Because this is the way the rules work in that country?

00:27:10.000 I mean, why are they propping up this guy when this guy is clearly a dictator?

00:27:14.000 Is it better to have the dictator in charge than to have it We're good to go.

00:27:23.000 We're good to go.

00:27:25.000 We're good to go.

00:27:43.000 Aggressive opinions about these things.

00:27:46.000 I don't necessarily think they've thought about it too deeply.

00:27:49.000 No, but you also know that, you know, look, everybody knows the country does some dirty stuff in places that wasn't cool.

00:27:58.000 Well, find the country who doesn't.

00:27:59.000 Right, exactly.

00:28:00.000 It's like the thing these militaries and these countries have to do in order to keep peace and stay alive.

00:28:06.000 Yeah.

00:28:07.000 And, you know, you want to shine light on that, so maybe it's not done again.

00:28:12.000 But it's part of the thing that we were talking about before, about our grandparents not having a lot of the information, and in a way that you're living in the dark, and that's bad, but in a way you're living in the light now, and you see everything.

00:28:26.000 The problem with seeing everything, I think it kind of is a problem, is that you realize that no organization, no country, no government, Is flawless.

00:28:38.000 No person.

00:28:39.000 They're flawed.

00:28:40.000 Everything is flawed.

00:28:41.000 Everything.

00:28:42.000 And now we have this idea that if somebody isn't perfect, they should be just run out of town.

00:28:49.000 Cancelled.

00:28:49.000 Yeah, cancelled.

00:28:51.000 Kicked out of office, whatever.

00:28:53.000 We're all flawed.

00:28:55.000 Everybody's flawed.

00:28:56.000 And this idea, because we can find everything else out, you can expose everyone's flaws.

00:29:01.000 Well, we're going to have to come out of this somehow realizing that Flaw doesn't mean that they're evil or they're negative and they have to be kicked out.

00:29:11.000 Do you think there's ever going to be a time in humans, like whether it's a hundred years from now or a thousand years from now, where there's no war?

00:29:20.000 Yes.

00:29:23.000 Yes.

00:29:24.000 I do.

00:29:25.000 How do you see that happening?

00:29:26.000 Well, it's going to start with cop cars with flags on them.

00:29:31.000 And then they're going to patrol around.

00:29:35.000 I think it would be technology.

00:29:36.000 And I think it's a matter of everybody becoming more comfortable.

00:29:39.000 If you can have people...

00:29:42.000 This is like a Thomas Friedman idea that if...

00:29:46.000 If you want to stop people fighting in the Middle East, give them all the comforts of a good society.

00:29:51.000 Let them be able to go eat McDonald's and sit in a coffee shop, and all of a sudden you don't want to fight as much.

00:29:57.000 And that means prosperity, that means popping.

00:29:59.000 So I think technology, if you can bring more water to people and there's less suffering, if climate change doesn't ruin all of that, I think if you can prop these people up and give all these people, if they can rise, then there's no sense.

00:30:12.000 I mean, we're at a point now where there's fewer wars than ever before.

00:30:16.000 On the planet.

00:30:17.000 Sure.

00:30:18.000 So we're headed in that direction, so I don't see why not.

00:30:20.000 Well, as a thought exercise, let's look at it this way.

00:30:23.000 What makes anybody decide to act as a group?

00:30:28.000 What makes anybody?

00:30:30.000 Why would we decide to go?

00:30:34.000 What negotiations should we be having with someone in Germany?

00:30:39.000 Why are we having a conversation about anything? 0.98

00:30:42.000 You live way the fuck over there on the other side of the ocean. 0.98

00:30:44.000 Uh-huh. 0.99

00:30:45.000 What would make people act as a group and go over and try to fuck with somebody else that's in another place? 0.96

00:30:53.000 Well, people can definitely be rallied for any cause. 0.95

00:30:59.000 Most certainly.

00:31:00.000 But do you think, this is my thought, that there will come a time where that kind of rallying doesn't work?

00:31:07.000 That people will stop believing?

00:31:10.000 I mean, this is one of those...

00:31:12.000 Very bizarre ideas that the systems that we've established for human civilizations, whether it's countries or cities or continents, whatever it is, these systems, once all the boundaries that kept people from freely traveling,

00:31:28.000 once those are dissolved...

00:31:30.000 It's all broken down.

00:31:30.000 No country anymore.

00:31:31.000 The only thing that's keeping it together now is the fact that it's air travel.

00:31:34.000 So they know when you're coming in.

00:31:36.000 They get to check your papers.

00:31:37.000 Right.

00:31:39.000 Right.

00:31:43.000 Right.

00:31:59.000 If there was a technology that would allow you, like a person like you or me, the same way we could drive places, we could just fly into somewhere and land anywhere.

00:32:06.000 You don't have to go to a fucking specific location like an airport or get funneled through a road that takes you to some checkpoint station like when you're trying to drive from Mexico.

00:32:17.000 If people could fly. 0.97

00:32:19.000 If people flew anywhere they wanted to go.

00:32:22.000 If that technology existed. 0.98

00:32:25.000 Good fucking luck keeping people from coming into your city. 0.99

00:32:29.000 Good luck. 1.00

00:32:30.000 All those rules are out the window.

00:32:31.000 All those immigration rules, that doesn't exist anymore.

00:32:35.000 It can't exist.

00:32:35.000 People can go anywhere they want.

00:32:37.000 But what are you saying that gives you?

00:32:39.000 Well, it gives you the interaction with human beings in a way that you won't be able to get them as a group as easily to go after another group.

00:32:48.000 Right.

00:32:48.000 Because now there's no country, basically.

00:32:51.000 We're not part of this that has to go fight that.

00:32:54.000 We're all one now.

00:32:56.000 What do you do if one person lives in a great spot and they don't want to give up their oil?

00:33:00.000 Right?

00:33:00.000 Then it becomes a problem.

00:33:01.000 Come on, guys.

00:33:03.000 We're all in this together. 1.00

00:33:04.000 Those people in Alaska, they got all that fucking oil, bro. 1.00

00:33:08.000 Here's two things, though. 0.99

00:33:11.000 Here's two things of why it might not work.

00:33:14.000 Oh, there's probably 2,000 things.

00:33:16.000 Yeah, but only two that I can think of.

00:33:18.000 Okay, let me hear it.

00:33:23.000 Italians are Italians and Germans are Germans and Mexicans are Mexicans and you get around your people and you feel it and you know it and I know who you are and we're part of that tribe and we're part of that thing and it doesn't matter that we grew up somewhere.

00:33:35.000 I just know you as an Italian and I'm an Italian and I am with you and that is very different from that Turkish guy over there. 1.00

00:33:42.000 That thing, that very human thing, chemistry thing of your own blood, your own thing, I don't think that's going to go away forever.

00:33:51.000 Bro, you're old school and you bake bread.

00:33:53.000 Okay? 0.91

00:33:54.000 I think you're talking nonsense.

00:33:55.000 You're really into old-timey things.

00:33:58.000 You're into old-timey things.

00:33:59.000 I do love old-timey things.

00:34:00.000 If they could fix your eyes without glasses, you'd be like, nah, I like the glasses.

00:34:03.000 They make you feel like I'm thinking.

00:34:05.000 I put them on, I'm getting ready to go to work.

00:34:07.000 I like it.

00:34:08.000 But I think that's a real thing.

00:34:09.000 I like my horse.

00:34:10.000 Horses are better than cars.

00:34:12.000 They're your friend.

00:34:13.000 They're your friend.

00:34:13.000 You give them hay.

00:34:14.000 It's not that bad. 0.99

00:34:15.000 And the shit is actually really good for fertilizer. 0.99

00:34:17.000 All right. 0.99

00:34:18.000 Well, I'm going to blow your mind with my technology end of this conversation, which I just read an article yesterday, that in China, face recognition is the thing that's going to stop Your fantasy of everybody just loving each other and going around.

00:34:33.000 In China, with face recognition, they're able to recognize and categorize Muslims in the country.

00:34:43.000 There's like this one sect of Muslim in China.

00:34:45.000 And with all this face recognition that they're seeing from your phone, from everything, they're starting to catalog the enemy.

00:34:52.000 And they're going to be able to, police are sharing information and hotels and everybody, and they're all now, through this network, know what type of person just walked into this building and whether they're friendly or they're the enemy.

00:35:08.000 And that thing, that face recognition thing, could end up splitting us apart even more.

00:35:15.000 Old timey Tommy with his technological facts.

00:35:19.000 Here, China's Big Brother surveillance technology isn't nearly as all-seeing as the government wants you to think.

00:35:25.000 This is kind of like a...

00:35:26.000 They might be able to upgrade it, though.

00:35:28.000 Oh, for sure.

00:35:29.000 That's 1.0. 0.99

00:35:31.000 Do you remember when your phone unlocked with your fingerprint and it blew your motherfucking mind? 0.98

00:35:35.000 You're like, what, bro? 0.98

00:35:37.000 It's true.

00:35:38.000 It's my finger!

00:35:39.000 I can use my pinky.

00:35:40.000 It even works for my pinky. 1.00

00:35:42.000 Yeah, I get five fingerprints on this motherfucker. 0.99

00:35:45.000 I get to do the side of my thumb and it still knows. 1.00

00:35:48.000 It says glasses?

00:35:49.000 It's a cop.

00:35:50.000 What do you mean?

00:35:51.000 This is a cop.

00:35:52.000 It's a cop with Google Glass?

00:35:53.000 Yeah, it's got some sort of face recognition thing.

00:35:56.000 It's like that Tom Cruise movie.

00:35:57.000 What was that Tom Cruise movie?

00:35:58.000 I don't know.

00:35:59.000 Minority Report.

00:36:00.000 Whoa, was that real?

00:36:02.000 Yeah.

00:36:02.000 No, but this.

00:36:03.000 Not Tom Cruise.

00:36:05.000 Tom Cruise is definitely real.

00:36:07.000 I don't know, but it looks real.

00:36:09.000 That's, you know, I tried a Google Glass on once.

00:36:12.000 I actually went through a whole UFC weigh-ins wearing a Google Glass.

00:36:16.000 How was it?

00:36:17.000 I was filming it, I guess.

00:36:20.000 It wasn't ready.

00:36:22.000 Right.

00:36:22.000 It wasn't ready, and I think that's why they haven't upgraded it.

00:36:25.000 They're like, let's hold off, because this is not working.

00:36:28.000 Yeah, it's been a while. 1.00

00:36:29.000 They're not into that dorky shit. 0.99

00:36:30.000 And people got super uncomfortable when you were around them. 1.00

00:36:33.000 It's like holding a camera on everybody. 1.00

00:36:35.000 Walking around with a fucking camera everywhere. 0.98

00:36:37.000 I think they'll have something eventually, but I have a feeling it'll be something where there's a technology where the outside, you can't see things, but on the inside you can. 0.99

00:36:48.000 And then they'll show you images directly in front of you on the lens.

00:36:52.000 So you wear glasses like your glasses.

00:36:55.000 Uh-huh.

00:36:55.000 But it'll show you things right in front of you.

00:36:59.000 I got one that I heard.

00:37:00.000 I don't know if I understand and believe that this is real, but I just Googled it and I found something that makes it seem like it.

00:37:06.000 So the next version of the VR headsets are supposed to have brain tracking in them.

00:37:10.000 And that sounds super scary.

00:37:12.000 But it's already being implemented and tested.

00:37:15.000 Yeah, you get a knock on your door.

00:37:17.000 All you think about is beating off.

00:37:19.000 What is wrong with you, man?

00:37:21.000 Seriously?

00:37:22.000 No, no, no.

00:37:23.000 We thought you were a regular person, but you're beating off a hundred times a week.

00:37:28.000 Can you imagine if they wanted to have a talk to you? 0.78

00:37:30.000 Like, Mr. Papa, you watched 14 hours of pornography this week.

00:37:34.000 Yeah.

00:37:34.000 That seems a lot.

00:37:35.000 Yeah.

00:37:36.000 I think your mother would think that seems like a lot.

00:37:38.000 Don't you think?

00:37:38.000 I mean, I don't want to talk to her, but...

00:37:40.000 Well, they say employers are going to do that, insurance companies are going to do that, and they're going to be able to...

00:37:44.000 Find out how much you're beating off.

00:37:45.000 How much you're beating off, how much you're working out, how much you're sleeping, whether...

00:37:49.000 Look at that.

00:37:50.000 We promise to share only good stuff.

00:37:53.000 Yeah, right.

00:37:53.000 Sure.

00:37:53.000 That's like Google when they said, don't be evil.

00:37:55.000 Yeah.

00:37:56.000 They abandoned that. 0.91

00:37:57.000 Once you started making money, they fucking painted right over that side. 0.96

00:38:00.000 Eh, maybe a little evil. 0.99

00:38:02.000 What is evil, man?

00:38:04.000 I mean, what is evil?

00:38:05.000 Evil shmeevil.

00:38:06.000 We're going in that direction.

00:38:08.000 Yeah, man.

00:38:08.000 It's going in that direction.

00:38:09.000 It's all going to some sort of a wearable thing that connects you.

00:38:13.000 But a weird thing that everywhere you're going, they're picking off your face.

00:38:16.000 And then you're going to be able to...

00:38:18.000 They're going to know exactly what you are and who you are.

00:38:22.000 It's a strange...

00:38:24.000 It's strange, but is it any more strange than our lives today in comparison to people that lived in 1920, like we were talking about earlier?

00:38:32.000 This is way weirder.

00:38:33.000 The way we live is way weirder.

00:38:36.000 We're in weird town already, for sure.

00:38:38.000 You just hope it doesn't get into the hands of people that can really mess with you.

00:38:42.000 Oh yeah, the people with the money?

00:38:43.000 Yeah.

00:38:44.000 The people with the money and all the control?

00:38:46.000 Yeah.

00:38:46.000 They're going to be cool with it, right?

00:38:48.000 Yeah, they'll be great.

00:38:48.000 They'll be alright.

00:38:49.000 Yeah, they'll be fine.

00:38:50.000 Everything's going to be fine.

00:38:51.000 Do you have Alexa in your house?

00:38:54.000 Alexa.

00:38:54.000 Yeah.

00:38:55.000 My kids do.

00:38:56.000 My one friend is always trying to tell me, just get that out of your house.

00:39:00.000 It's listening to everything that you say and everything that you do.

00:39:02.000 Don't say anything bad in that room.

00:39:07.000 I had a question about the Neuralink might be coming on soon or whatever.

00:39:11.000 I was thinking about if it got to the point where, say we all got it, and then everyone you knew had it, and there's like a thousand people that have it, wouldn't it hit a threshold point where you're like, not everybody should have this?

00:39:23.000 We're good at this point right here.

00:39:25.000 Well, how would you ever deny people something like that, though?

00:39:28.000 The cost?

00:39:28.000 It might be really expensive to have.

00:39:30.000 No, but I mean, how would you ever?

00:39:31.000 I know.

00:39:31.000 You can't deny people that, like, say, if someone's coming up and they want to try it and everyone else has it.

00:39:36.000 That would create a giant problem.

00:39:39.000 That'd be like if you said that with cell phones.

00:39:41.000 Too many people have cell phones.

00:39:42.000 We have to stop.

00:39:42.000 You're no more buying cell phones.

00:39:44.000 I know that's why I sort of think that there might become a big problem with that.

00:39:47.000 Why?

00:39:47.000 What is Neuralink?

00:39:48.000 I don't know.

00:39:49.000 But hold on a second.

00:39:49.000 I don't understand why you think...

00:39:50.000 I just sort of think that if, in the theory that you're going to let thousands of people have instant access to the world's knowledge at their fingertips, at a thought's instant, that becomes too powerful in the wrong hands.

00:40:05.000 And the people that might have it first might see the future problems of that.

00:40:09.000 I'm just sort of wondering.

00:40:10.000 I was thinking way too far.

00:40:12.000 Jamie got high and watched Superman.

00:40:15.000 That sounds like you got high and watched Superman.

00:40:17.000 So I guess the answer you say is like, no, that probably won't be a problem?

00:40:20.000 Well, no.

00:40:21.000 You can't stop it, though.

00:40:22.000 That's what I'm wondering.

00:40:23.000 I don't think that anyone can say that it's not going to be a problem.

00:40:27.000 Yeah.

00:40:27.000 I don't know.

00:40:28.000 I mean, what is a problem, though?

00:40:29.000 It's going to be something.

00:40:30.000 It's going to be a something.

00:40:31.000 Yeah, it's going to change.

00:40:32.000 If everyone has access to all the world's information instantaneously.

00:40:35.000 First of all, colleges are going under, son.

00:40:37.000 That was my first time.

00:40:38.000 At first I was like, they're going to fight that.

00:40:39.000 They're going to fight that all day.

00:40:41.000 I don't think they can.

00:40:43.000 They're not going to be able to.

00:40:44.000 The amount of money that you would make off of something that made everybody super smart.

00:40:48.000 Yeah.

00:40:49.000 There's no way.

00:40:50.000 Imagine if you found out.

00:40:51.000 How ironic would it be if you found out that Stanford and Harvard had banded together to try to stop this from coming out because it would kill their business?

00:41:00.000 Yeah.

00:41:03.000 Yeah.

00:41:03.000 And it was like, you know, just like how there's some college admissions scandals going down.

00:41:08.000 Oh, yeah.

00:41:08.000 It's so great.

00:41:09.000 If there was a scandal that all these higher universities had banded together to try to stop this because it was going to kill their business.

00:41:16.000 Like, everybody can know everything we tell them more than everything we tell them.

00:41:20.000 I'm going on some college tours already.

00:41:22.000 Jesus Christ.

00:41:23.000 Yeah.

00:41:24.000 Oh my god.

00:41:26.000 It really makes you think.

00:41:27.000 I'm like, do they really need this?

00:41:29.000 This is expensive.

00:41:31.000 Oh yeah, man.

00:41:31.000 Do they really need a degree in all of this?

00:41:34.000 I don't know.

00:41:35.000 It's a weird business, man.

00:41:37.000 It's a total weird business.

00:41:38.000 I don't know why it costs so much.

00:41:40.000 I'll tell you why.

00:41:41.000 Why?

00:41:42.000 Because the administrators are all making bank money.

00:41:46.000 Is that what it is?

00:41:47.000 Yeah.

00:41:47.000 It's all the money that goes...

00:41:48.000 You're going through that right now, so tell me what's going on.

00:41:50.000 So all these kids' generations are in debt because they have to take these student loans because college is more expensive than ever before.

00:41:57.000 It hasn't changed running the university, the teachers.

00:42:01.000 It's the administration of these giant universities are making so much money They're making millions and they keep cranking it out and they keep needing to up the rate and then they make money accessible for the students through loans and then they keep feeding themselves.

00:42:19.000 It's horrible.

00:42:20.000 It's a horrible corrupt system. 0.81

00:42:22.000 And it's also subsidized, right?

00:42:26.000 Well, the government will subsidize some money.

00:42:28.000 Yeah.

00:42:30.000 How much does the government subsidize private education?

00:42:33.000 Private education?

00:42:34.000 I don't think any.

00:42:36.000 Just public?

00:42:36.000 Yeah.

00:42:37.000 You get fast full on, though.

00:42:38.000 Yeah.

00:42:39.000 It's so expensive.

00:42:40.000 I mean, you know...

00:42:41.000 Isn't that weird, too?

00:42:41.000 There's, like, state schools, private schools.

00:42:43.000 Yes.

00:42:44.000 You know, they all cost money.

00:42:45.000 Mm-hmm.

00:42:46.000 Everything costs money.

00:42:47.000 Yeah.

00:42:47.000 Like, what is it like...

00:42:47.000 How much does it cost to get to, like, USC? How much is, like, a semester at USC? 70,000?

00:42:53.000 No, not a semester.

00:42:55.000 No.

00:42:55.000 A year?

00:42:56.000 A year?

00:42:57.000 Is it 70,000?

00:42:58.000 Probably 70. 50 for the year.

00:43:00.000 Yeah, that's the online Google search thing.

00:43:05.000 That's 50 plus your room and board plus all the rest of it. 0.98

00:43:08.000 And if your kid fucks off... 0.99

00:43:09.000 Yes! 0.99

00:43:10.000 Which, of course, they're going to do.

00:43:12.000 And by the way, to have 50 grand, you need to make like 80, right?

00:43:16.000 With taxes and everything?

00:43:17.000 Oh, yeah.

00:43:18.000 So you got to make 80 grand.

00:43:20.000 Yeah.

00:43:20.000 For a whole year of your kid being in school.

00:43:22.000 Yeah.

00:43:23.000 And if your kid's just doing bong hits.

00:43:26.000 Totally. 1.00

00:43:29.000 Playing ping pong and shit. 0.99

00:43:31.000 My father dropped me off at school when I was a sophomore. 0.99

00:43:35.000 He just drove me into college and dropped off my stuff.

00:43:39.000 I was so psyched to go see my friends.

00:43:44.000 Work hard.

00:43:45.000 Be responsible.

00:43:46.000 Okay, Dad.

00:43:47.000 Okay, okay.

00:43:47.000 I go running into my dorm room.

00:43:50.000 My buddies are there.

00:43:51.000 I haven't seen them all break.

00:43:52.000 Tom!

00:43:53.000 They hand me a bong.

00:43:54.000 Hey! 0.99

00:43:55.000 I light up.

00:43:56.000 As soon as I walk in, my bags haven't even dropped.

00:43:58.000 I light it with my lighter and this huge flame comes out.

00:44:01.000 Almost like lights my face on fire.

00:44:03.000 I'm like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:44:06.000 Hey! 0.99

00:44:07.000 Papa, your dad's outside.

00:44:09.000 He's in the van.

00:44:10.000 I forgot something.

00:44:11.000 I forgot a lamp in the van.

00:44:12.000 He's like, I go running out there.

00:44:15.000 I'm like, hey, what's up?

00:44:16.000 You know, hoping I don't smell.

00:44:18.000 He goes, hey, you forgot your...

00:44:20.000 What happened to your eyebrow?

00:44:22.000 Your eyebrow's burnt off.

00:44:24.000 What did you do in the two minutes?

00:44:26.000 I just took the lamp.

00:44:28.000 Thanks, Dad.

00:44:29.000 See you later.

00:44:32.000 And he's writing checks.

00:44:34.000 He's writing checks for me to go do that, you know?

00:44:37.000 Yeah, it's brutal.

00:44:39.000 It's actually more.

00:44:39.000 That was just tuition I saw.

00:44:41.000 Yeah, see?

00:44:42.000 $75,000.

00:44:43.000 $75,000.

00:44:45.000 USC, one year.

00:44:46.000 Room and boards, $15,300.

00:44:48.000 That's got to be low, because that's just about over $1,000 a month.

00:44:51.000 It's got to be...

00:44:51.000 Yeah, it should be higher than that.

00:44:53.000 And that's without, like, if your kid, if you live on the East Coast and you're flying your kid back and forth and all the rest of it.

00:44:58.000 But look at personal.

00:44:59.000 It's so expensive.

00:45:00.000 Personal and miscellaneous.

00:45:01.000 $1,400 for the year?

00:45:04.000 $1,400 a month?

00:45:05.000 Get out of here.

00:45:05.000 Yeah, that's crazy.

00:45:05.000 Forget it.

00:45:06.000 Forget it.

00:45:07.000 That's $25 a week.

00:45:08.000 The books are going to be way more than $100 a month, too.

00:45:10.000 The books are going to be $1,200 a semester, probably.

00:45:13.000 You should go to state school.

00:45:14.000 You pay a quarter of that.

00:45:17.000 Stay in.

00:45:17.000 Get your undergrad.

00:45:18.000 Here's the thing.

00:45:19.000 You could have a nonsense education like me, where you just read things that you're interested in, and then you never get a real base education.

00:45:28.000 I don't have a degree in anything.

00:45:30.000 You didn't go to college? 1.00

00:45:31.000 I went to college, but I fucked off. 1.00

00:45:33.000 I barely paid attention. 1.00

00:45:34.000 I went to UMass Boston.

00:45:36.000 Oh, yeah.

00:45:38.000 I didn't even take my SATs.

00:45:39.000 Oh, really?

00:45:40.000 No.

00:45:41.000 They had a continuing education program.

00:45:43.000 You could just sign up and start taking classes there.

00:45:45.000 Oh, nice.

00:45:46.000 Did you go the whole way?

00:45:47.000 No.

00:45:48.000 I went for three years.

00:45:50.000 I was barely paying attention.

00:45:52.000 Three years?

00:45:53.000 Yeah.

00:45:53.000 I guess I realized I was doing it a little bit while I was still doing stand-up, like while I started doing stand-up.

00:46:00.000 It was literally only so that people didn't think I was a loser.

00:46:05.000 Right.

00:46:07.000 I just wanted to let people know I'm doing something.

00:46:09.000 I didn't pay attention at all.

00:46:10.000 Right.

00:46:11.000 All I was thinking about was martial arts competition and then it was stand-up.

00:46:16.000 Right.

00:46:16.000 Well, yeah.

00:46:17.000 The transition right there.

00:46:18.000 Yeah, once that happens, forget it.

00:46:20.000 Once I realized that people made money doing stand-up, that's when I quit.

00:46:23.000 It depends on what you want to go do.

00:46:27.000 You want to go in law or you want to do certain medicine.

00:46:30.000 There's certain routes where you need a degree, where you really need a degree.

00:46:35.000 And there's definitely something good to going to school and being around other people from around the country and all kind of thinking.

00:46:41.000 For sure.

00:46:42.000 It's all positive.

00:46:43.000 But you should not go into debt.

00:46:45.000 I have all these nephews that they got out of school $30,000 in debt.

00:46:52.000 This is the start of your life as an adult.

00:46:54.000 The worst.

00:46:55.000 $30,000 in debt.

00:46:56.000 They can't keep up with the payments.

00:46:58.000 So then the interest kicks in.

00:47:00.000 And after four years, now they owe $50,000.

00:47:04.000 And they're constantly chasing it.

00:47:06.000 And now they ask their parents to help them out.

00:47:09.000 And they co-sign.

00:47:10.000 Now you have two generations.

00:47:11.000 And they probably owe taxes.

00:47:13.000 Right.

00:47:13.000 And they're now on their second job where no one cares anymore where you went to school.

00:47:18.000 They never even ask the question.

00:47:20.000 They don't?

00:47:21.000 No.

00:47:22.000 Not in...

00:47:22.000 No.

00:47:23.000 No.

00:47:24.000 In certain places, yeah.

00:47:25.000 In certain routes.

00:47:26.000 It really depends on what you're trying to do.

00:47:28.000 Right.

00:47:28.000 If you're going to be a doctor, I think they care.

00:47:29.000 Yes.

00:47:30.000 I think they care.

00:47:31.000 Well, yeah.

00:47:32.000 Well, maybe.

00:47:33.000 Depends what kind of doctor.

00:47:34.000 There's a lot of doctors.

00:47:35.000 Are you going to be a history professor?

00:47:36.000 You're applying for a job as a history professor?

00:47:38.000 Go into television production, whatever. 0.99

00:47:40.000 No one gives a shit. 0.99

00:47:41.000 Oh, that's true. 0.99

00:47:41.000 If you're going to do Hollywood-type jobs, yeah, nobody gives a fuck. 0.99

00:47:44.000 No. 0.98

00:47:44.000 Go work in construction. 0.98

00:47:46.000 You could do...

00:47:47.000 What?

00:47:49.000 My whole thing is, and I keep trying to say this to my daughter, is that you should never, don't jeopardize your future for this degree.

00:47:56.000 You can get degrees, they'll be important, they'll help you, but you should not strap yourself with debt.

00:48:03.000 That's wise advice.

00:48:05.000 Yeah.

00:48:06.000 Very wise advice.

00:48:07.000 And she's like, how about you work harder and just pay for it and I won't have to be in debt.

00:48:11.000 That's a good thing for her to say.

00:48:13.000 Yeah.

00:48:15.000 Clever.

00:48:15.000 Very smart.

00:48:16.000 She set you up.

00:48:17.000 And my other daughter, I'm just going to give her headshots. 0.85

00:48:20.000 $300 headshots right in the business.

00:48:23.000 The business.

00:48:25.000 Done.

00:48:25.000 That old show business.

00:48:27.000 Yeah, hey, everybody's crazy. 0.98

00:48:28.000 But I thought show business people were crazy. 1.00

00:48:31.000 Everyone's crazy. 1.00

00:48:32.000 You're crazy. 1.00

00:48:33.000 I'm crazy. 1.00

00:48:35.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:35.000 You think insurance salesmen people aren't fucking crazy? 1.00

00:48:38.000 They're just better at hiding it all day. 1.00

00:48:41.000 Yeah.

00:48:42.000 That's what they do.

00:48:43.000 They hide it. 1.00

00:48:44.000 They hide it all fucking day. 1.00

00:48:46.000 If you were really smart, you'd just go into plumbing. 0.99

00:48:49.000 Listen, we always need plumbing.

00:48:49.000 There's not a lot of plumbers out there.

00:48:51.000 I know.

00:48:51.000 We always need plumbing.

00:48:52.000 Yeah, and you make a really good living at it, and there's not a lot of people that are learning these skills anymore.

00:48:56.000 That's what you should go do.

00:48:57.000 Or, do something you really want to do.

00:49:00.000 Find something you really want to do.

00:49:02.000 Yeah.

00:49:02.000 Maybe you don't want to be a plumber.

00:49:05.000 Should it be a requirement that they know what they want to do before they go into college?

00:49:09.000 No.

00:49:10.000 But see, what college should be is education.

00:49:13.000 What it really seems to be more is like prepping you for the job force.

00:49:17.000 You know, I mean, there's education as well, but it's prepping you for the job force.

00:49:21.000 And nowadays, at least in a certain segment of the population, you're getting these colleges that are also like socially indoctrinating kids on socialist ideas and a lot of ideas that...

00:49:36.000 You know, just contrary to what probably their parents taught them.

00:49:40.000 And so then there's this internal dispute and who's right and who's wrong and do I rebel against my parents and go full social justice warrior?

00:49:51.000 Yeah.

00:49:51.000 Join the young Republicans on campus.

00:49:54.000 And, you know, kids are just trying to find who they are.

00:49:56.000 Yeah, there's definitely, when you walk onto these campuses, even just to tour them, which I never did when I was, I just, you know, picked one out and went.

00:50:03.000 But you go in, the personality of each university is so dominant.

00:50:08.000 As soon as you walk onto the campus and went to some small, really left liberal arts schools, and you just feel like the posters and everything, you're just like...

00:50:17.000 As a white male, you're not welcome here at all.

00:50:21.000 And then you go to some other places and it's just kind of free-flowing and everybody's just...

00:50:26.000 They're just all about the football team.

00:50:28.000 Have you ever seen a poster that says, as a white male, you're not welcome here?

00:50:31.000 Yeah.

00:50:33.000 Where?

00:50:33.000 In my daughter's room.

00:50:41.000 That's hilarious.

00:50:43.000 No, but you know, it's like very progressive and everything is an issue and that's where you develop those ideas.

00:50:52.000 But what I'm saying is you can really learn from going on these campuses like, oh, this is...

00:50:57.000 There's a vibe.

00:50:58.000 You get indoctrinated into whatever vibe the campus holds and you get social points for following those ideas as hardcore as you can.

00:51:10.000 It's really interesting.

00:51:12.000 If you take yourself out of whichever way you lean, if you lean left, you can say, well, it's because they're young and they're passionate and they're right.

00:51:19.000 If you lean right, you're like, oh, they're babies and they're being taught by people who never made it in the real world.

00:51:24.000 They only exist in academia and they're...

00:51:27.000 But instead of looking at it like that, look at it... 0.99

00:51:30.000 Where you don't have a fucking dog in the fight and just step back and go, this is fascinating. 0.98

00:51:34.000 It's like people are just trying to change and influence people's thinking and behavior. 0.99

00:51:40.000 And some of it is to justify their own thinking and behavior.

00:51:44.000 Some of it is because some people just like controlling people.

00:51:48.000 They like getting people to listen to them.

00:51:50.000 And some of it is because they genuinely think that this is for the best for the human race.

00:51:54.000 And so all these things are competing together.

00:51:56.000 That's why you have some people that are activists and you meet them.

00:51:58.000 They're not annoying at all. 0.97

00:51:59.000 You're like, god damn, you're Because they're doing it with the right heart. 0.97

00:52:03.000 But then you have activists that are so annoying. 0.99

00:52:07.000 Why are they so annoying?

00:52:08.000 Because they're not doing it for the right reasons.

00:52:10.000 They're doing it to try to change people.

00:52:12.000 Because they want to poke you.

00:52:13.000 They want to have a reason to be upset at you because you're not listening to them.

00:52:17.000 You're not following their ideas.

00:52:18.000 Right.

00:52:19.000 Them and their.

00:52:20.000 Those are the key words.

00:52:21.000 It's about them and their status and their power over you.

00:52:24.000 Yeah.

00:52:25.000 No, I know.

00:52:26.000 There's a couple people...

00:52:27.000 You know, there's a couple people I know that have gone that way so hard that you can't even have conversations with them on both sides.

00:52:36.000 It doesn't help.

00:52:37.000 All it does is create more conflict.

00:52:41.000 That kind of combative attitude creates more conflict.

00:52:44.000 You could be right on every single issue, but if you're super combative all the time, people just don't want to communicate with you and they're not willing to It's brutal.

00:53:08.000 It's like this...

00:53:09.000 It's a horrible way to live.

00:53:11.000 And they're angry.

00:53:12.000 They're just angry.

00:53:13.000 They just walk around with this anger.

00:53:14.000 It's like, get an ice cream cone.

00:53:16.000 Enjoy your life a little bit.

00:53:18.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:53:19.000 They're hardcore Dodgers fans.

00:53:20.000 That's what they are.

00:53:21.000 They're just hardcore sports fans for the Democrats.

00:53:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:24.000 They're like, our fucking team's gonna kick their fucking ass in 2020. Trump's going down. 1.00

00:53:29.000 Right, exactly.

00:53:30.000 It's really that.

00:53:30.000 Yeah, it really is that.

00:53:31.000 Hey, did you see Tiger yesterday?

00:53:33.000 Dude, I was watching it while we were in Georgia.

00:53:36.000 We were in Georgia for the UFC, and I had a comedy show out there, and me and Santino were watching it on the screen.

00:53:44.000 On Saturday or yesterday?

00:53:46.000 We watched it Friday, or was it Friday or Saturday?

00:53:49.000 Saturday.

00:53:49.000 Friday, Saturday, and then he won yesterday.

00:53:51.000 Well, whatever days it was.

00:53:52.000 I think we watched it two days in a row.

00:53:54.000 I think it was in the gym every day we were there.

00:53:55.000 But then I got home and I saw it on my phone. 0.99

00:53:58.000 I was like, holy shit. 0.99

00:53:59.000 I don't even give a fuck about golf. 1.00

00:54:01.000 I know. 0.96

00:54:02.000 It was powerful.

00:54:03.000 Guy made a comeback.

00:54:04.000 A huge comeback.

00:54:06.000 Look at that.

00:54:06.000 I mean, that's crazy.

00:54:07.000 Amazing.

00:54:08.000 11 years later.

00:54:10.000 Oh, my God.

00:54:11.000 So great.

00:54:12.000 Somebody put on Instagram one of my quotes.

00:54:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:54:17.000 Attached to that.

00:54:18.000 It was pretty cool.

00:54:19.000 I love a guy.

00:54:22.000 I love...

00:54:24.000 What did I say?

00:54:25.000 I love a success story, but even more than that, I love a guy fucks his life up and then gets it back together again story.

00:54:30.000 It's the greatest.

00:54:32.000 It's the greatest.

00:54:33.000 That's the best.

00:54:33.000 When you realize how much good you must feel to that guy to be on top of the world again.

00:54:37.000 And then he was so messed up and the back problems and the troubles and the kids and the wife and the thing and just 11 years and he didn't stop working.

00:54:48.000 He just went to work and went to work and went to work.

00:54:50.000 Crazy.

00:54:51.000 11 years later, And so he won one major championship recently, right?

00:54:55.000 Didn't he win one?

00:54:56.000 It was a big deal.

00:54:57.000 He won a major championship within the last couple months?

00:55:00.000 It wasn't a major.

00:55:01.000 This was the first major he's won in 11 years.

00:55:04.000 Okay, so the other one wasn't a major, but it was a big event, right?

00:55:06.000 Yeah, it was a big tournament.

00:55:07.000 He wins that one.

00:55:08.000 Everybody's like, wow!

00:55:10.000 He might be back. 0.99

00:55:11.000 He could fucking win big tournaments again. 0.97

00:55:13.000 And then he just, oh, it was so cool to see the crowd just kept building over the weekend. 0.98

00:55:18.000 And by yesterday, it was massive.

00:55:21.000 Thousands of people around the green just hanging on him.

00:55:25.000 Oh, the relief that you saw just coming out of him was so great.

00:55:29.000 And then at the end, he walks off where as a kid...

00:55:32.000 He was only like 21 when he won the first time, hugging his dad at the edge.

00:55:36.000 And now he comes off 11 years later all this time, and his dad's passed, and he's hugging his child, his son.

00:55:43.000 Now he's the father in the same spot.

00:55:46.000 I was trying not to cry the whole time.

00:55:51.000 Oh, it was such a tearjerker.

00:55:53.000 What relief.

00:55:55.000 People were just so happy for him.

00:55:58.000 Such a great story.

00:55:59.000 We do love a comeback.

00:56:01.000 Why not, man?

00:56:02.000 You love a comeback.

00:56:03.000 Come on.

00:56:04.000 We're all flawed, like you were saying before.

00:56:06.000 Yeah, man.

00:56:07.000 But being able to improve, that's what that guy did.

00:56:10.000 He bit down and improved.

00:56:12.000 Amazing.

00:56:13.000 Improved his life.

00:56:15.000 Yeah, and never stopped.

00:56:16.000 Yeah, went south, and he picked it right back up and brought it north again.

00:56:20.000 Yeah.

00:56:20.000 11 years of doing it.

00:56:22.000 And failing, and failing, and failing.

00:56:25.000 Yeah.

00:56:26.000 Isn't that beautiful?

00:56:27.000 It is beautiful.

00:56:28.000 Such a cool thing.

00:56:29.000 Yeah.

00:56:30.000 I was wondering, like, he wears that red shirt.

00:56:32.000 He's got to wear the red on Sunday.

00:56:33.000 It's like his...

00:56:34.000 That's his thing?

00:56:35.000 That's his thing.

00:56:36.000 Yeah.

00:56:36.000 And he was in Light Colors on Saturday, and I was like, does he just, like, free himself from that?

00:56:44.000 Or is that a superstition that you've got to kind of hang on to?

00:56:47.000 That's a good question.

00:56:48.000 Yeah, you know?

00:56:49.000 What do you think would happen if there was an openly gay black guy with blonde hair who only wore pink who was, like, the best golfer of life? 0.87

00:56:57.000 And started dominating. 0.76

00:56:58.000 It'd be great. 0.99

00:56:59.000 Some dude who's like super duper gay. 1.00

00:57:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:57:02.000 And he's just got this fucking crazy drive. 1.00

00:57:05.000 And he gets down on the ground. 0.99

00:57:07.000 He can see the way the earth is rolling. 0.97

00:57:09.000 And the whole time he's doing it, he's like lisping and snapping his fingers and wiggling his butt. 0.93

00:57:14.000 You know I put pretty. 0.52

00:57:15.000 What would happen if he started just winning?

00:57:17.000 They would probably poison him.

00:57:18.000 You think they would poison him? 0.95

00:57:20.000 Ah! 0.98

00:57:21.000 It was like a super flamboyant gay guy who was winning, I don't care, black or white. 1.00

00:57:26.000 They would poison him. 0.97

00:57:28.000 Do you don't think so? 0.99

00:57:29.000 I don't think so because golfers are so close to flamboyantly queenie gay anyway. 1.00

00:57:33.000 Look at their outfits. 0.94

00:57:35.000 They're all pink and like big plaid pants. 0.98

00:57:38.000 They're like a bunch of old white dudes, straight white dudes who want to be gay. 0.97

00:57:41.000 But it's all this country club life, right? 0.97

00:57:43.000 Isn't it a big part of it?

00:57:44.000 Yeah.

00:57:45.000 You're going to have that guy swishing around back and forth.

00:57:48.000 In the locker room.

00:57:49.000 Snapping his fingers. 1.00

00:57:50.000 Staring at dicks. 0.99

00:57:51.000 No. 1.00

00:57:52.000 No, no, no, no, no.

00:57:55.000 They're going to...

00:57:58.000 He's sputting.

00:58:00.000 He's got a catchphrase.

00:58:02.000 All his hair is shaved except for a curly man bun that just pops straight up and it's blonde.

00:58:08.000 And he wears lipstick. 1.00

00:58:10.000 And he's a motherfucker at golf. 1.00

00:58:12.000 He's just killing fools. 1.00

00:58:14.000 I just love my irons. 0.99

00:58:15.000 Maybe he would open golf up to everybody else.

00:58:19.000 You think that would happen?

00:58:20.000 Do you think that Tiger Woods, he opened up golf for people of color, right?

00:58:26.000 Clearly they got into it because of him.

00:58:28.000 How many people got into golf that would have never even thought about playing golf?

00:58:32.000 Tiger could play?

00:58:33.000 Yeah.

00:58:34.000 Started opening up to inner city.

00:58:35.000 Schools were starting to get involved in it.

00:58:37.000 What about the gay community?

00:58:38.000 Are they represented in professional golf?

00:58:41.000 I think they are.

00:58:41.000 Flamboyant, dressed like the Bee Gees in the 70s.

00:58:44.000 They're close, Joe.

00:58:45.000 They're wearing plaid pants.

00:58:47.000 They're wearing tassels.

00:58:49.000 You have xenophobia. 1.00

00:58:51.000 That's how people from Scotland dress, you son of a bitch. 1.00

00:58:55.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

00:58:57.000 I'm just saying they would be embraced. 1.00

00:58:59.000 You know, Scotland's a weird place.

00:59:01.000 Like, you have to dress a certain way when you hunt there, or at least they have a certain way they dress, like a traditional way.

00:59:09.000 I like that.

00:59:09.000 But it's not like, they don't wear camo.

00:59:12.000 It's like an outfit.

00:59:13.000 Yeah, it's like an outfit.

00:59:14.000 Like, what do they wear?

00:59:15.000 They wear like clothes.

00:59:17.000 Weird.

00:59:18.000 Old-timey clothes.

00:59:19.000 I like that.

00:59:20.000 I like tradition.

00:59:21.000 I know you did.

00:59:22.000 That's why I brought it up.

00:59:23.000 Bourdain went hunting in Scotland for his television show. 0.91

00:59:28.000 He had to wear some crazy-ass outfit.

00:59:31.000 You get suited for this outfit, this traditional hunting outfit.

00:59:36.000 That's pretty cool.

00:59:37.000 Yeah, a lot of those...

00:59:40.000 I think a lot of those places like Scotland too, I think most of it was like private land.

00:59:48.000 I think back in the day, like that was what Robin Hood was all about, right?

00:59:51.000 Robin Hood was originally supposed to be about someone who was poaching and hunting on the king's land because they were hungry.

00:59:57.000 So they were stealing from the rich to feed the poor.

01:00:01.000 Gentlemanly pursuit, hunting and shooting attire.

01:00:04.000 Wow.

01:00:04.000 Look how they dress.

01:00:05.000 Wow.

01:00:06.000 Does that help you?

01:00:07.000 Helps me.

01:00:07.000 Be a good hunter?

01:00:08.000 Because I get to goof on them.

01:00:10.000 Or does it, like, does that get in the way of hunting, or does that help hunting? 0.99

01:00:14.000 That's not helping shit. 0.99

01:00:18.000 A tie and a vest. 0.99

01:00:19.000 His boots are kind of fresh, though.

01:00:20.000 Go back to his boots.

01:00:21.000 Yeah, man.

01:00:22.000 That guy looks good.

01:00:22.000 Let me see his boots.

01:00:23.000 Can you make them boots larger?

01:00:24.000 Look at those fresh boots.

01:00:25.000 Yeah, come on. 0.77

01:00:26.000 I'm going to start wearing those on stage.

01:00:29.000 Would I get in trouble for cultural appropriation wearing someone's stuff if they're white, too?

01:00:33.000 No.

01:00:34.000 How does that work?

01:00:34.000 No.

01:00:35.000 If they're more powerful than you, then you're okay.

01:00:37.000 Like, how does that work?

01:00:39.000 How does that work?

01:00:39.000 You can't take from...

01:00:41.000 What percentage of Native American do you have to have in you to wear moccasins?

01:00:46.000 Ooh, a lot.

01:00:47.000 The tassel jacket?

01:00:48.000 How about the suede tassel jacket?

01:00:53.000 The Roger Daltrey?

01:00:55.000 Yes, like the rebels in the 70s war.

01:00:59.000 I wanted one of those so bad when I was in high school.

01:01:01.000 They look so cool.

01:01:03.000 The Easy Rider with the fringe on it.

01:01:05.000 It's all moving when you're driving.

01:01:07.000 Man, I wanted that.

01:01:08.000 Put your arm out the window with a car and it's flopping around.

01:01:11.000 You're on stage singing.

01:01:13.000 The ladies must love you. 1.00

01:01:14.000 Look at that!

01:01:15.000 Oh, glorious.

01:01:16.000 Come on.

01:01:16.000 Little strips of leather.

01:01:18.000 See, but that goes too far.

01:01:20.000 What?

01:01:20.000 Because they have the Native American thing on the sleeve.

01:01:23.000 Let me see.

01:01:24.000 This one right here?

01:01:25.000 No, not...

01:01:26.000 That other one.

01:01:27.000 Well, that one's too far.

01:01:28.000 Yeah, it's too far.

01:01:29.000 Go to that one. 1.00

01:01:29.000 If you do that one, you better kill the bear that you use for those fucking teeth. 1.00

01:01:33.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:01:34.000 That's too... 0.99

01:01:35.000 That's ridiculous. 0.99

01:01:36.000 No, there's a white guy version of that which would be okay. 0.99

01:01:39.000 That's a girl who claims to be a healer. 0.99

01:01:41.000 Right?

01:01:42.000 Yeah.

01:01:42.000 That's who would wear that.

01:01:45.000 See, if you wear that in Texas, you're okay.

01:01:47.000 Oh, my accent.

01:01:49.000 Yeah, okay, Daniel Boone. 1.00

01:01:51.000 Fuck out of here with that one. 1.00

01:01:52.000 That one's dark. 1.00

01:01:53.000 I wanted one of those jackets.

01:01:54.000 I don't like you wearing a dark one.

01:01:55.000 No?

01:01:56.000 What are you, Prince?

01:01:57.000 You like that guy?

01:01:58.000 What are you, a trapper?

01:01:59.000 That's too light.

01:02:00.000 That looks terrible.

01:02:01.000 That guy looks terrible.

01:02:02.000 He's got the fringe in the bottom.

01:02:04.000 That's what's going to separate us from everybody else.

01:02:06.000 The curtains on the bottom.

01:02:08.000 A fringe.

01:02:09.000 Like a nice curtain in a fine restaurant.

01:02:13.000 Look at Elvis.

01:02:14.000 Elvis had tassels.

01:02:15.000 Elvis had rainbow tassels.

01:02:17.000 You could get away with it if you're Elvis.

01:02:19.000 If you're working for Enterprise Rent-A-Car...

01:02:21.000 I think maybe you don't wear that. 1.00

01:02:27.000 Yeah, Elvis got away with some wild shit. 0.99

01:02:29.000 Who the fuck wore jumpsuits before Elvis? 1.00

01:02:31.000 Jumpsuits. 0.99

01:02:32.000 It was him and Evel Knievel.

01:02:33.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:02:35.000 Oh, man.

01:02:35.000 Look at that.

01:02:36.000 Hendrix.

01:02:36.000 Oh, my God.

01:02:37.000 That's, yeah.

01:02:39.000 Dude.

01:02:39.000 See, but he's doing something.

01:02:40.000 He's playing a guitar.

01:02:41.000 He's moving around.

01:02:42.000 He's got a headband.

01:02:43.000 If you're making snow cones, that's not your jacket.

01:02:49.000 Man, I wanted one when I was in high school.

01:02:51.000 I wore moccasins for a little bit.

01:02:52.000 Put that picture back up.

01:02:54.000 Look at that.

01:02:55.000 That look.

01:02:56.000 How good does it look?

01:02:57.000 And I can never wear it.

01:02:58.000 He's got fringe on a greenish yellow.

01:03:01.000 How would you describe that color?

01:03:02.000 It's like a teal.

01:03:04.000 Like a light teal.

01:03:05.000 Light teal.

01:03:06.000 He's got bell bottoms.

01:03:08.000 Bell bottom jeans.

01:03:09.000 Acid washed bell bottoms.

01:03:10.000 And he's got this cool jacket with fringes that are literally two feet long.

01:03:15.000 Yeah.

01:03:16.000 And then a headband.

01:03:17.000 Dude.

01:03:18.000 And it's just his...

01:03:19.000 It's kind of fuchsia, the headband, right?

01:03:21.000 It's kind of reddish.

01:03:22.000 Yeah.

01:03:22.000 Like a light red frog.

01:03:24.000 And it's on Jimi Hendrix.

01:03:26.000 That's the thing that we can't match.

01:03:29.000 We could buy all those items, but it's still our head.

01:03:31.000 It's not Jimi Hendrix's head.

01:03:33.000 Well, not only that, it's 2019, too.

01:03:36.000 Back then, he was in the groove.

01:03:40.000 Phil Hartman saw him live when he was a young kid.

01:03:43.000 Phil was like 18 years old.

01:03:44.000 He got a job at the Whiskey.

01:03:47.000 And his job was, you know how they have those giant monitors on the stage?

01:03:51.000 And sometimes those things would fall.

01:03:54.000 Like, into the crowd.

01:03:55.000 Oh, jeez.

01:03:56.000 Especially if someone's standing on that or doing a show.

01:03:58.000 So, like, they're kind of, they're a little wobbly.

01:04:00.000 Yeah.

01:04:00.000 So, they're standing right there.

01:04:01.000 So, his job was to stand right by the stage, like, literally have his hands, like, ready to catch these speakers.

01:04:07.000 This was Phil's job?

01:04:08.000 Yes.

01:04:09.000 And Hendrix is right there.

01:04:11.000 Whew! 0.99

01:04:11.000 Hendrick is right there, and he's 18. Oh, man. 0.99

01:04:15.000 Oh, my God.

01:04:18.000 Right in front of him.

01:04:19.000 Crazy. 0.93

01:04:21.000 Right in front of him. 0.97

01:04:23.000 I can't fight, but I don't know why.

01:04:26.000 Excuse me while I kiss the sky.

01:04:32.000 I was that close to Blues Traveler once.

01:04:34.000 I don't think that's the same.

01:04:37.000 All his harmonicas were right in his vest.

01:04:39.000 This was shortly before Jimi Hendrix died.

01:04:41.000 Oh, really?

01:04:42.000 Yeah.

01:04:43.000 Well, he died when he was...

01:04:44.000 He died in like...

01:04:45.000 He was the magic age, right?

01:04:46.000 35, was it?

01:04:48.000 It's 27. I think the magic age is 27, where they're all dying.

01:04:51.000 Or Morrison and Janis Choplin.

01:04:52.000 Isn't that the magic age?

01:04:54.000 Didn't he...

01:04:54.000 Where did he die?

01:04:55.000 27. Wow.

01:04:57.000 Yeah.

01:04:57.000 What year did he die?

01:04:58.000 Was it 69?

01:04:59.000 70. 70?

01:05:00.000 1970. So Phil, you know...

01:05:03.000 That's amazing.

01:05:04.000 Yeah, Phil was probably like 17 years old or something like that.

01:05:07.000 Wow.

01:05:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:05:08.000 God, fuck, man. 1.00

01:05:09.000 That's amazing. 1.00

01:05:11.000 Yeah.

01:05:12.000 Did he have one of those fringe jackets?

01:05:13.000 I don't know.

01:05:14.000 I didn't ask that.

01:05:15.000 But the way he described it, man, the way he described it was like running into Jesus while you're out on a hike.

01:05:22.000 Oh, he had to be.

01:05:23.000 For real.

01:05:23.000 It was great.

01:05:24.000 Well, Phil was a musician, too.

01:05:25.000 Yeah.

01:05:26.000 So when he'd talk about it, We had like this crazy gleam to his eye.

01:05:31.000 Jeez. 0.99

01:05:32.000 And I was like, he was right fucking there. 0.99

01:05:34.000 He was Yeah, come on. 0.98

01:05:37.000 Hendrix, please.

01:05:39.000 I wanted one of those fringe jackets when I was in high school.

01:05:43.000 So I played football until I was a senior.

01:05:45.000 And then once football season's over, I have a half a year left of school.

01:05:50.000 And that's when I smoked weed for the first time and started playing guitar.

01:05:54.000 And I wanted one of the fringe jackets.

01:05:56.000 I didn't have one, but I did get a pair of moccasins for a little while.

01:05:59.000 I wore moccasins.

01:06:01.000 Did they have beads?

01:06:02.000 They did not have beads, but they had the little fringe to them.

01:06:04.000 Little tassels?

01:06:05.000 They were like, it was just...

01:06:06.000 Little fringe.

01:06:07.000 Yeah, no sole.

01:06:08.000 Yeah.

01:06:08.000 What's the purpose of fringe?

01:06:10.000 Like, that's like when you think of a trapper jacket, right?

01:06:12.000 One of them David Boone, Davy Crockett type dudes.

01:06:15.000 Style.

01:06:15.000 Think of them wearing that.

01:06:16.000 Is that what it all was?

01:06:17.000 Really?

01:06:17.000 Yeah.

01:06:18.000 Why would they have any style back then?

01:06:19.000 Everybody's got style.

01:06:20.000 Back then, it seems like they were just trying to stay alive.

01:06:23.000 Yeah, the weak ones.

01:06:25.000 What?

01:06:25.000 But the cool ones are still trying to get laid.

01:06:29.000 You think Daniel Boone wasn't trying to work it a little bit?

01:06:32.000 Look at this.

01:06:33.000 Buckskins are often trimmed with a fringe, originally a functional detail to allow the garment to shed rain and to dry faster when wet because the fringe asks a series of wicks to disperse the water or quills.

01:06:45.000 Interesting.

01:06:46.000 Wow.

01:06:48.000 Buckskins derived from deerskin clothing worn by Native Americans. 0.70

01:06:52.000 Oh, wow.

01:06:53.000 How about that?

01:06:53.000 That's genius.

01:06:55.000 Smarter than you know.

01:06:56.000 Wow, so it hangs down and the water goes through all the tissue in the deer and gets to the bottom so those little things get wet but the thing that you're wearing that touches your skin is dry.

01:07:06.000 You would think by now that deer would have had fringe on their outfits. 0.99

01:07:10.000 I think they don't give a fuck. 1.00

01:07:13.000 Deer are really hot. 0.99

01:07:15.000 Are they?

01:07:15.000 Their body temperature is much higher than ours.

01:07:17.000 Oh, really?

01:07:17.000 Yeah, it's one of the weirder things about when you put your hands on one.

01:07:21.000 Oh, yeah?

01:07:22.000 Inside of them, they're really hot.

01:07:24.000 So if we're like 98 degrees, what are they?

01:07:28.000 I don't know.

01:07:29.000 If I had to guess, I'd say it's more than 100. Oh, yeah?

01:07:32.000 Yeah, I bet they're probably like 105, something like that.

01:07:36.000 What is it?

01:07:39.000 What's the body temperature?

01:07:41.000 It brought up the cooking temperature when I hit internal temperature.

01:07:43.000 I was like, Jesus Christ, it's hot!

01:07:44.000 It's 350 degrees!

01:07:48.000 They're cooking before we even catch them.

01:07:50.000 That's hilarious.

01:07:52.000 That's why people love deer. 0.95

01:07:54.000 We don't have to cook them.

01:07:55.000 They're pre-cooked.

01:07:58.000 They're preheated.

01:07:59.000 It's the same as most undulates, which is 37.5 to 38.5 degrees Celsius, which...

01:08:04.000 Which we don't understand.

01:08:06.000 Well, just type in that.

01:08:07.000 Pre-heated deer meat.

01:08:08.000 38.5 degrees Celsius?

01:08:10.000 What do you think that is?

01:08:11.000 If you had to guess.

01:08:12.000 I don't have a clue.

01:08:13.000 What was the number?

01:08:14.000 38 degrees Celsius.

01:08:15.000 Oh, that's 105. Is it?

01:08:18.000 No.

01:08:20.000 That's like 90. 99.5 to 100. So it's right in the same range.

01:08:24.000 That's it.

01:08:24.000 They're like us.

01:08:24.000 They're like someone with a little bit of fever.

01:08:26.000 Oh, I did something that you would enjoy.

01:08:29.000 You might have even done this.

01:08:30.000 Speaking of body heat, I was in San Francisco last weekend.

01:08:34.000 Really?

01:08:35.000 Performing.

01:08:36.000 And I was working with my friend Kira Soltanovich.

01:08:40.000 Very funny comedian. 0.99

01:08:42.000 She kicks ass. 1.00

01:08:43.000 She's Russian. 1.00

01:08:44.000 She grew up up there.

01:08:45.000 And she brought me to a Russian bathhouse.

01:08:50.000 Oh, they beat you up with sticks?

01:08:51.000 Yeah.

01:08:51.000 Did you ever do that?

01:08:52.000 No.

01:08:52.000 They call it banya.

01:08:53.000 Banya.

01:08:54.000 Man, oh man.

01:08:55.000 You go into a sauna.

01:08:57.000 A two-level sauna.

01:08:59.000 So it's even hotter up at the top, like an attic in a sauna.

01:09:03.000 Super hot.

01:09:05.000 And you lay down on this bench and they take these bushes, these sticks, and they wet them and then they start beating you with them.

01:09:14.000 Not a lot of pressure.

01:09:17.000 It's so hot.

01:09:19.000 You're in a sauna.

01:09:20.000 You're already like really, really...

01:09:21.000 And then that thing...

01:09:23.000 And that thing is hot, too.

01:09:24.000 And that thing's hot. 0.97

01:09:25.000 And with the steam coming off of the branches as they're beating your back, it creates a little pocket that gets even hotter.

01:09:34.000 So it just brings your body to this super high temperature.

01:09:37.000 They're making weather.

01:09:38.000 They're making weather.

01:09:38.000 They really are.

01:09:39.000 Really?

01:09:40.000 And...

01:09:41.000 Yeah, for about 15 minutes.

01:09:44.000 And you come out of there and just feel...

01:09:46.000 Do you jump in the cold afterwards?

01:09:47.000 Yeah, into a cold plunge.

01:09:49.000 Yeah.

01:09:50.000 All the way under this really cold water.

01:09:52.000 Amazing.

01:09:53.000 Yeah, the Russians really liked that.

01:09:55.000 Fedor Emelianenko was like one of the greatest heavyweights, if not the greatest heavyweight of all time.

01:10:00.000 One of the things that you would see about his training.

01:10:03.000 It was very old school Russian.

01:10:05.000 They did a lot of stuff in a playground.

01:10:11.000 They did a lot of stuff in a playground and he incorporated the banya that was a part of it.

01:10:16.000 You see him lying there and beating him with sticks.

01:10:18.000 There you go.

01:10:19.000 You see it on Showtime.

01:10:21.000 Yeah, that's what...

01:10:23.000 They figured something out.

01:10:25.000 It's pretty great.

01:10:25.000 All the people that invented sauna, they figured something out.

01:10:28.000 There's something about that extreme temperature.

01:10:31.000 It's very good for your ability to recuperate.

01:10:34.000 You feel better.

01:10:35.000 It reduces inflammation.

01:10:37.000 I felt great.

01:10:38.000 I went in there.

01:10:39.000 I've been traveling so hard over the last couple of months.

01:10:42.000 I've just been knotted up.

01:10:44.000 I was like, maybe I'll do this and then get a massage after.

01:10:48.000 Like a gentleman.

01:10:49.000 Like a gentleman.

01:10:50.000 Yeah.

01:10:51.000 And we didn't have time.

01:10:53.000 She had to go.

01:10:53.000 She was driving me.

01:10:54.000 She had to go do something.

01:10:55.000 So we only had time for that part.

01:10:57.000 When I came out of the banya, I didn't need a massage.

01:11:03.000 Everything was relaxed.

01:11:04.000 Everything had changed in just like 15 minutes.

01:11:08.000 Yeah.

01:11:08.000 It was great.

01:11:09.000 Man, I wish it was...

01:11:11.000 I don't know if they have them in L.A. or not, but I'd like to seek them out.

01:11:14.000 I know they have them in New York.

01:11:16.000 There's one in West Hollywood.

01:11:17.000 There is?

01:11:17.000 Yeah.

01:11:18.000 A photo spa or something like that, yeah.

01:11:20.000 There you go, bro.

01:11:20.000 A lot of dongs.

01:11:21.000 Keep your pants on.

01:11:22.000 A lot of dongs.

01:11:24.000 Clothing was optional.

01:11:26.000 Hey.

01:11:26.000 Clothing optional.

01:11:27.000 And I'm with Kira, you know, we're like, you know, we're coworkers.

01:11:30.000 And she's wearing nothing.

01:11:32.000 She's totally naked. 0.95

01:11:34.000 And then there's dongs everywhere? 0.96

01:11:35.000 There's dongs everywhere. 0.98

01:11:36.000 She sees the dongs?

01:11:36.000 She sees the dongs.

01:11:37.000 I see the dongs.

01:11:38.000 But we were the only ones covered up.

01:11:41.000 Girls can go and dongs stare in America? 1.00

01:11:43.000 What's that?

01:11:44.000 In America?

01:11:44.000 Can you do this?

01:11:45.000 Yeah.

01:11:46.000 San Francisco.

01:11:47.000 Are you sure?

01:11:48.000 Yeah.

01:11:49.000 Girls can just walk in a room with dongs. 1.00

01:11:50.000 They were naked? 0.90

01:11:51.000 The girls were naked? 1.00

01:11:53.000 Kira and I were the only ones with clothes on because we worked with each other.

01:11:56.000 Send in immigration. 1.00

01:11:58.000 Ice?

01:11:58.000 Send ice into that place.

01:12:00.000 A dong alert. 0.86

01:12:02.000 Yeah, there's something going on there, bro. 1.00

01:12:03.000 There's just dicks everywhere. 1.00

01:12:04.000 Open that door. 1.00

01:12:06.000 You cool with dicks in front of you? 1.00

01:12:08.000 I'm not. 0.99

01:12:08.000 What are they doing here? 0.99

01:12:09.000 I was looking away. 1.00

01:12:10.000 Cops just come in with fucking masks on. 1.00

01:12:13.000 On a dong alert? 1.00

01:12:14.000 Yeah, they throw one of those gas canisters that flashbangs.

01:12:21.000 Just grabbing guys by their dongs and pulling them out into the paddy wagon.

01:12:25.000 They would all run out grabbing their dongs.

01:12:27.000 That's the first thing you're going to grab.

01:12:28.000 If someone throws a tear gas canister and explodes in a room... 1.00

01:12:32.000 Cover your raw dick first. 1.00

01:12:33.000 I'm wearing pants! 1.00

01:12:35.000 So I was the only one with pants on, and you can kind of feel like everyone was looking at you like... 1.00

01:12:39.000 Pussy. 1.00

01:12:40.000 You're making us feel, like, shamed because you're wearing pants. 1.00

01:12:42.000 But I couldn't.

01:12:44.000 I'm with my opening act. 0.98

01:12:44.000 Yeah, that's a gay... 0.98

01:12:45.000 That's a tactic. 0.99

01:12:47.000 That's what that is.

01:12:48.000 Yeah?

01:12:48.000 That's a tactic, yeah.

01:12:50.000 What kind of...

01:12:50.000 What do you mean?

01:12:51.000 It's a tactic! 1.00

01:12:52.000 They're trying to be like, come on, man, show us your dick. 1.00

01:12:54.000 This is how you show everyone your dick. 1.00

01:12:55.000 You get together with five of your buddies, and you all are real comfortable with seeing each other's dicks. 1.00

01:13:00.000 We're going to get to see Mikey's dick. 1.00

01:13:02.000 How are you going to do that? 1.00

01:13:02.000 We're going to shame him. 1.00

01:13:04.000 We're going to shame him into showing us his dick. 1.00

01:13:06.000 And we're going to take our dicks out. 1.00

01:13:07.000 We're going to walk into that steam room. 1.00

01:13:09.000 I'm just going to let your nuts hang. 0.93

01:13:10.000 Why does everyone want to see... 1.00

01:13:11.000 Hey, Mike, what the fuck are you doing with your... 1.00

01:13:12.000 Take your goddamn pants off. 1.00

01:13:14.000 And he'll be like, alright, alright, Jesus. 1.00

01:13:16.000 Why does everyone want to see Mikey so bad? 1.00

01:13:18.000 Because Mikey probably has a little dick, which is why he keeps his pants on. 1.00

01:13:21.000 That's nothing you can do about that. 1.00

01:13:22.000 That's what I felt like.

01:13:23.000 I felt like everybody thinks I have a small one because I got my pants up, but that's not it.

01:13:28.000 Just get a different hobby.

01:13:29.000 What are you doing?

01:13:31.000 But the other thing is when you're around people like that, right?

01:13:35.000 And it's not a bad thing.

01:13:36.000 It's a life choice.

01:13:37.000 But if you're around flossy people, if you're a person who likes...

01:13:42.000 Rolls Royces and giant mansions and, you know, you like that baller, I've got a big fat diamond ring lifestyle.

01:13:49.000 Yeah.

01:13:49.000 That guy's around those people because he's selling diamond rings.

01:13:52.000 He's selling diamonds!

01:13:52.000 Right.

01:13:53.000 Diamonds, motherfucker! 1.00

01:13:54.000 He's got billions from selling diamonds. 1.00

01:13:56.000 How many carrots you want?

01:13:57.000 $48 million.

01:13:58.000 Woo! 0.99

01:13:59.000 Look at that.

01:14:00.000 Blue.

01:14:01.000 A blue diamond.

01:14:02.000 $48 million.

01:14:03.000 Oh, yeah, I've seen that.

01:14:04.000 $48 million.

01:14:05.000 A father bought it for his daughter.

01:14:07.000 Wow.

01:14:07.000 It's a magic rock.

01:14:08.000 Damn. 1.00

01:14:09.000 Imagine if you're the daughter and you lose that shit. 1.00

01:14:11.000 Wow. 1.00

01:14:12.000 You're out drinking. 1.00

01:14:13.000 You know, you fucking pull your panties down to pee in a curb because you're so hammered. 1.00

01:14:18.000 Oh my god! 1.00

01:14:18.000 I'm so fucking hammered. 1.00

01:14:20.000 I lost my ring! 1.00

01:14:22.000 My dad's gonna kill me! 1.00

01:14:23.000 It just slips right off while you're throwing up in a dumpster. 1.00

01:14:28.000 My dad's gonna kill me! 0.99

01:14:31.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:14:31.000 Maybe the daughter was 40. It makes you realize that the things that really give you worth in life is not the dough. 0.99

01:14:41.000 It's something that's going to engage your head and make you feel a little useful.

01:14:45.000 You're way better off having less dough and something you really love.

01:14:49.000 Yeah.

01:14:49.000 But that's only if you have a certain amount of dough.

01:14:51.000 That's the problem.

01:14:52.000 The stress of not having enough money to feed yourself and feed your family and put a roof over your head, that's overwhelming for people, especially as we were talking about earlier, if people have fucking credit card debt or student loan debt or some insurmountable amount of debt that you can't get out of.

01:15:06.000 Yeah, it just hangs on you.

01:15:08.000 Then you're not really thinking about, well, what's meaningful for my, what's a meaningful hobby for me?

01:15:13.000 Oh, dude, it's the worst. 0.98

01:15:14.000 The feeling of debt is the fucking worst. 0.87

01:15:16.000 And then the feeling of just working for nothing, that's also bad, too. 0.95

01:15:20.000 There's the feeling of, like, every day you're doing it just to exist, and at the end of the day you're exhausted.

01:15:25.000 So what is your life?

01:15:27.000 What is your life? 1.00

01:15:28.000 Is your life all this shit you hate to do? 1.00

01:15:30.000 Well, that's the answer for most people. 1.00

01:15:32.000 Most people, most of the time, the answer is you're doing something you hate to do, and it's been me, and I know it's been you at some point in your life.

01:15:40.000 Yeah. 0.93

01:15:41.000 But goddamn, the amount that your life can change if you just no longer have to do something you don't want to do. 0.99

01:15:47.000 You could do something that you actually enjoy, whatever it is, whether it's carpentry or painting or whatever the fuck it is that you love to do. 0.99

01:15:56.000 Do you think it has to be your work?

01:15:58.000 Or do you think you could be at a work where you're kind of into it, but then you have some other passion that's...

01:16:04.000 You could do that, but you're also, if your work isn't satisfying, that's most of your life.

01:16:10.000 People are like, yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do.

01:16:12.000 Of course you do.

01:16:13.000 Of course you have to do what you gotta do.

01:16:15.000 That goes without saying.

01:16:16.000 So, figure out a way out of there.

01:16:19.000 Everybody's got a way out.

01:16:21.000 People love to say things like that, like, hey, some people don't have that luxury.

01:16:25.000 People love to say things like that, so you have to acknowledge that.

01:16:27.000 But that's...

01:16:29.000 That's the case with anyone who's ever done anything where it was hard to do.

01:16:32.000 It's always going to be hard to do.

01:16:35.000 It's easy for you to say.

01:16:36.000 Of course it's easy for me to say.

01:16:37.000 I'm just saying it.

01:16:39.000 It's the easiest thing in the world.

01:16:40.000 I'm going to put a rocket on the moon.

01:16:42.000 See, I just said it.

01:16:43.000 Wow.

01:16:43.000 Think about how hard it is to do.

01:16:44.000 It's easy for you to say.

01:16:45.000 Exactly.

01:16:45.000 Of course it's easy to say.

01:16:47.000 But the difference, just as a person who's done both, the difference between doing something you hate doing and doing something you love doing, It's off the charts how much better your life is.

01:16:58.000 No, absolutely.

01:16:58.000 Even if you're making less money.

01:16:59.000 Even if you're making less money.

01:17:00.000 Exactly.

01:17:01.000 Because, you know, to use comedy as an example, because it's what we are, when you were making $5 a night, literally $5 a night as a comedian, I was so much happier than when I had a day job.

01:17:13.000 Oh, yeah.

01:17:14.000 Making real money.

01:17:16.000 I remember the feeling of being able to make a living with just stand-up.

01:17:22.000 Yeah.

01:17:22.000 Like, what?

01:17:23.000 Like, holy cow.

01:17:24.000 And not a good living, just getting by.

01:17:26.000 In my beginning, it was super shaky.

01:17:29.000 Yeah.

01:17:29.000 Super shaky.

01:17:31.000 Right.

01:17:31.000 I started making money.

01:17:33.000 I was making a little bit of money in Boston, but I always had day jobs.

01:17:37.000 And then when I moved to New York, and then Jeff started managing me, then I started making money.

01:17:42.000 He'd get me booked in places, and I was working pretty much every weekend.

01:17:46.000 Who was Jeff?

01:17:46.000 Jeff Sussman, my manager.

01:17:48.000 Oh, Jeff Sussman.

01:17:48.000 Long-time manager.

01:17:49.000 Yeah.

01:17:50.000 Started managing me when I was an open-miker.

01:17:51.000 Oh, nice.

01:17:52.000 Yeah, we've been together forever.

01:17:53.000 Wow.

01:17:54.000 He's the best.

01:17:55.000 You still with him?

01:17:56.000 Yep.

01:17:56.000 Wow.

01:17:56.000 Love him.

01:17:57.000 That's amazing.

01:17:57.000 The best.

01:17:58.000 That's amazing.

01:17:59.000 He's the best.

01:18:00.000 I love the guy.

01:18:01.000 That's great.

01:18:01.000 He's an awesome person, too.

01:18:03.000 And just brilliant at his job, super low-key, doesn't give a fuck about Hollywood.

01:18:08.000 Oh, that's great. 0.90

01:18:09.000 But, you know, he understands it.

01:18:11.000 He knows what to do.

01:18:12.000 He doesn't care.

01:18:13.000 He's like, do what makes you happy.

01:18:15.000 He just wants you to be happy.

01:18:16.000 That's awesome.

01:18:17.000 So, and he picked you up when you were doing open mics?

01:18:18.000 Dude!

01:18:19.000 I was a scrub.

01:18:20.000 I wasn't even supposed to go on stage that night.

01:18:22.000 Really?

01:18:22.000 Yeah, he came into town.

01:18:23.000 He had managed some other comedians.

01:18:25.000 Remember Bob Nelson?

01:18:27.000 You know Bob Nelson?

01:18:27.000 Oh, yeah!

01:18:28.000 The football guy.

01:18:29.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:18:29.000 You remember all that?

01:18:30.000 Oh, my God.

01:18:31.000 He managed him.

01:18:32.000 Oh, really?

01:18:33.000 Yeah, and he produced his HBO special.

01:18:35.000 Wow.

01:18:36.000 And they were parting ways.

01:18:38.000 And they were parting ways, and Jeff was like, well, maybe I've seen everybody that I've seen in New York.

01:18:44.000 Maybe I'll take a trip to Boston. 0.94

01:18:46.000 So he took a trip to Boston and just fucking dumb luck, when I was driving limos, I wrote a joke that day. 0.94

01:18:53.000 I had this joke and I called up my friend Oliver, who was the manager at the club, and I said, hey man, can I come in and do like five minutes? 0.97

01:19:00.000 Because I have this joke I want to try out.

01:19:01.000 I said, sure, come on in.

01:19:02.000 And he liked me, so he hooked me up.

01:19:04.000 And I went on stage and I didn't even know Sussman was in the room.

01:19:08.000 What? 0.99

01:19:09.000 Because I didn't know he was in the room, I didn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:19:11.000 I was super loose. 0.98

01:19:12.000 You knew who he was at that point?

01:19:13.000 No, I didn't know who he was.

01:19:14.000 You didn't know who he was, so it just didn't... 0.99

01:19:16.000 But if I knew that there was a manager from New York that handled Bob Nelson, I'd be like, holy shit. 0.98

01:19:21.000 I'd probably freak out. 0.99

01:19:22.000 Sure.

01:19:22.000 And choke.

01:19:25.000 I mean, my act was shaky as fuck back then anyway. 0.97

01:19:28.000 You know, I'm only like two and a half, three years in a comedy, something like that. 0.98

01:19:33.000 I was terrible.

01:19:34.000 Anything could happen.

01:19:34.000 Yeah, anything did, often.

01:19:36.000 You know, it was really interesting.

01:19:38.000 He took me to New York to...

01:19:40.000 He saw me there, and then he took me to New York to try out.

01:19:44.000 He wanted to see me perform in some other clubs.

01:19:46.000 So he said, are you willing to come down to New York?

01:19:48.000 So I said, sure, yeah.

01:19:49.000 I've always wanted to.

01:19:50.000 I was so nervous about performing in New York.

01:19:52.000 Yeah, of course.

01:19:53.000 I thought New York City was different.

01:19:54.000 I was more nervous than when he came to see me the second time in Boston.

01:19:58.000 I was more nervous to perform in New York.

01:20:00.000 I was going up at Catch a Rising Star, which doesn't exist anymore.

01:20:05.000 Just legends?

01:20:06.000 Forget it.

01:20:07.000 Yeah, that's a big thing.

01:20:09.000 Because you don't know it yet.

01:20:10.000 Yeah, well, it was like the New York comics were always like the smart ones.

01:20:16.000 That was the thought process, the insecure thought process in Boston.

01:20:20.000 Like, the audiences are smarter. 1.00

01:20:21.000 They're not going to buy your bullshit. 1.00

01:20:23.000 They're smarter over there. 1.00

01:20:24.000 They're going to know you're not funny.

01:20:25.000 They're going to know.

01:20:26.000 They're going to know.

01:20:28.000 And what's really funny is, like, Sussman, we were talking about, like, clean comedy versus dirty comedy. 0.82

01:20:34.000 And there was no real decision, like, you know, because back then people would, like, decide to be clean.

01:20:40.000 It wasn't like you're a clean comic because that's how you think.

01:20:43.000 It's like, well, if you want to get more work, the smart move is to go clean.

01:20:47.000 As a business decision.

01:20:48.000 As a business decision.

01:20:49.000 You should dress nice and act clean.

01:20:51.000 He took me to this place called...

01:20:53.000 We went to a bunch of places.

01:20:55.000 We did Eat Side Comedy Club, which is this cool comedy club that used to be in Long Island.

01:20:59.000 And then he took me to this place called Fast Eddie's in Huntington.

01:21:02.000 And it was a local bar that had a comedy night.

01:21:05.000 Wow. 0.99

01:21:06.000 We went upstairs, and the crowd was so fucking rowdy and so drunk, and there was a dude on stage, his name was George Gallo, hilarious dude, who was doing a reverse shit with a banana. 0.99

01:21:22.000 As you're waiting to go on. 0.99

01:21:24.000 So he had a banana that he was like, he was somehow or another slurping it like it was a reverse shit. 0.98

01:21:30.000 And he's doing this in front of, you know, these people are hammered. 0.99

01:21:33.000 It's like a Wednesday night or some shit, right? 0.96

01:21:36.000 And Suston says, he grabs me by the arm, you don't have to perform here. 0.98

01:21:39.000 We're gonna get out of here. 0.99

01:21:40.000 And I said, no fucking way. 0.99

01:21:41.000 I go, listen, man. 0.99

01:21:43.000 These are my people.

01:21:44.000 I go, just trust me.

01:21:47.000 Let me go up.

01:21:48.000 My people.

01:21:49.000 I'm like, this is what I do, man.

01:21:50.000 All the gigs that I got in Boston were all bar gigs.

01:21:53.000 Yeah, of course.

01:21:53.000 I don't know how to handle this.

01:21:54.000 Yeah, you get hard.

01:21:55.000 You get tough.

01:21:56.000 Yeah, well, also, plus, once you've done a bunch of them, it's like chaos.

01:22:01.000 It's fun.

01:22:01.000 You know what to do.

01:22:02.000 You know what to do.

01:22:03.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:22:04.000 It's a different kind of comedy.

01:22:05.000 It's like combat comedy.

01:22:06.000 Yeah, which it was...

01:22:08.000 At that time, you ran into that more than you didn't run into that.

01:22:12.000 Even today, if you get road gigs, if you're an up-and-coming guy or gal, especially if you're a gal, girls get it way harder in the early days. 1.00

01:22:23.000 My friend's girlfriend admitted the other day that when she sees a female comedian at a comedy club, she cringes.

01:22:31.000 Still?

01:22:32.000 To this day.

01:22:33.000 She goes, I get super uncomfortable when they start going on stage.

01:22:36.000 And if they're funny, it's a huge relief.

01:22:39.000 Oh my god.

01:22:40.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:22:42.000 And as a feminist, I hate saying that. 0.55

01:22:44.000 It's terrible.

01:22:44.000 She goes, I consider myself a feminist.

01:22:46.000 I hate saying that.

01:22:47.000 I feel like it's gotten beyond that.

01:22:48.000 I feel like there's so many...

01:22:50.000 Oh, yeah.

01:22:51.000 Such strong...

01:22:53.000 At the top of the chain, but if you're in some weird club in the middle of nowhere and some...

01:22:57.000 Yeah, I get the...

01:22:59.000 I get that for you.

01:23:00.000 I get, like, especially if you're a feminist and you're around, you just don't want her to bomb because then you think, well, all the rest of the audience is going to think that's what all women are. 0.98

01:23:10.000 There's that, too.

01:23:10.000 Yeah, there's that, too.

01:23:12.000 And there's that she just doesn't think they're funny very often.

01:23:15.000 She's not a comic, so she's just being honest about it.

01:23:17.000 And we were laughing.

01:23:20.000 Because when a girl says that, you're like, oh no.

01:23:22.000 But back then, it was...

01:23:25.000 Every time, even in good clubs like the Comic Strip or Caroline's, it was just like...

01:23:29.000 It was war.

01:23:31.000 War.

01:23:32.000 It was war.

01:23:33.000 But nothing compared to...

01:23:34.000 Did you ever get any of those Bob Gonzo gigs in New Jersey?

01:23:37.000 Oh, yeah.

01:23:38.000 Chaos.

01:23:38.000 Oh, God, yeah.

01:23:40.000 It was like a frat party that just threw you up.

01:23:44.000 It never ended.

01:23:45.000 They didn't want comedy.

01:23:46.000 Those road gigs though, they turn you, they season you in a different way.

01:23:51.000 They season you for like, the comedy store was similar to that for a long time.

01:23:55.000 Because the comedy store in the early days had no crowd control.

01:23:59.000 None.

01:24:00.000 I mean literally zero.

01:24:02.000 So the crowd was in control.

01:24:04.000 Sometimes.

01:24:05.000 No one ever shut anybody up.

01:24:07.000 But the new regime, it's handled so much differently.

01:24:10.000 It's a new concept.

01:24:11.000 It's so much better.

01:24:13.000 But it did make you, Bulletproof.

01:24:17.000 Yeah, you knew how to handle drunks.

01:24:17.000 You came through that time.

01:24:21.000 Maybe it still exists when you're going through, but if you do that many gigs...

01:24:25.000 That's why I really don't believe in just going to your one little alt room over and over again where you know you're coddled and supported.

01:24:34.000 I really believe that you have to go into all these hellish situations.

01:24:39.000 So you just... 0.97

01:24:41.000 Anywhere you go, you know you can go and kill. 0.98

01:24:44.000 That's an important part to being a comedian.

01:24:47.000 Yeah, and you also, as you become a successful comedian, you can fall into the trap of only performing in front of your audience.

01:24:53.000 Right.

01:24:54.000 You really do have to drop in on other people's shows.

01:24:56.000 Yeah, right.

01:24:57.000 People don't know who you are and why.

01:24:59.000 Yeah.

01:25:00.000 That's what's great about the store lineup, too, right?

01:25:01.000 There's 15 comedians.

01:25:03.000 Right.

01:25:03.000 And they're probably not there to see you.

01:25:04.000 No.

01:25:05.000 They're probably not there to see this guy or that guy or all.

01:25:07.000 Yeah.

01:25:07.000 No, it's great.

01:25:08.000 Yeah.

01:25:09.000 You know, you have to be able to survive.

01:25:11.000 Because you see people that come out of those other environments and then they get thrown into this and they don't know how to act.

01:25:17.000 Yeah.

01:25:17.000 I think comedy is like a lot of other things that are difficult.

01:25:21.000 There's things that you can do to get better at those.

01:25:24.000 Yeah.

01:25:24.000 You know, like they say that...

01:25:26.000 Like, if you learn languages, you could get better at chess.

01:25:31.000 I read something about that.

01:25:32.000 Does that make sense?

01:25:33.000 Did I make that up?

01:25:34.000 It sounds about right.

01:25:35.000 Google that.

01:25:35.000 I would buy that.

01:25:36.000 If you learn a new language, it'll make you better at chess.

01:25:38.000 I might have made that up. 0.58

01:25:39.000 Just the way your brain is...

01:25:41.000 I might have been high, lying in bed, trying to think of all the different cross-training methods.

01:25:47.000 How could it be better at chess?

01:25:48.000 Do you play chess?

01:25:49.000 No, but I want to.

01:25:50.000 But I'm scared.

01:25:51.000 It's fun.

01:25:52.000 I'm scared.

01:25:53.000 Why?

01:25:54.000 You saw me play Quake earlier?

01:25:56.000 I have addiction problems.

01:25:57.000 I have crazy addiction problems.

01:25:59.000 Chess is addicting.

01:26:00.000 Tom Papa walked in and Jeff and I were going to war.

01:26:04.000 Holy cow. 0.89

01:26:05.000 We were going at it.

01:26:05.000 That was the most intense thing I've ever seen you do.

01:26:08.000 Is it intense?

01:26:09.000 It's intense.

01:26:10.000 Both of you on the keyboard and the thing, sweating your ass off in front of these monitors.

01:26:15.000 You were taking like deep, deep breaths in the middle of it.

01:26:18.000 These guys are just firing off at each other.

01:26:20.000 It was intense.

01:26:21.000 You've got to try to stay calm.

01:26:23.000 We're in this very small map, so I always know where he is.

01:26:27.000 He always knows where I am.

01:26:28.000 And there's a limited amount of ammunition and armor.

01:26:31.000 And when you get jacked and you come back less strong with a weaker weapon, you gotta run to get a good weapon quick. 0.98

01:26:36.000 And then you gotta run to get where the fucking armor is. 1.00

01:26:39.000 And he knows where that shit is. 1.00

01:26:40.000 So it's a crazy duel. 1.00

01:26:42.000 Like, oftentimes, if he kills me, he'll kill me two or three times in a row.

01:26:45.000 It was so much faster than I thought it was gonna be.

01:26:48.000 Oh, yeah.

01:26:49.000 I mean, real intense.

01:26:50.000 Is it always that?

01:26:51.000 Like, you're just in one courtyard?

01:26:53.000 One stone courtyard running around?

01:26:55.000 No, no, no.

01:26:55.000 There's many, many maps.

01:26:55.000 You can just go...

01:26:56.000 Yeah, that's a good one for one-on-one.

01:26:58.000 Oh, okay.

01:26:59.000 We have these one-on-one matches.

01:27:01.000 Those are the most fun.

01:27:02.000 Because there's no other variables, right?

01:27:05.000 The variables of like, if there's like 10 people in the room and everybody's just shooting everybody, which is a lot of these maps, I'll show you that too.

01:27:10.000 That's more chaos.

01:27:12.000 Oftentimes you get killed when you're fighting a guy and then someone comes from behind and you don't even see him and they shoot you.

01:27:17.000 It's annoying.

01:27:18.000 So how addicting is this for you?

01:27:20.000 Oh, real.

01:27:21.000 It's a real problem.

01:27:22.000 Because you used to do it, right?

01:27:23.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:24.000 I'm way better at it now.

01:27:25.000 I'll do it for an hour and then I'll stop.

01:27:26.000 And then you'll be good.

01:27:27.000 In the old days?

01:27:28.000 It's very tough.

01:27:30.000 But everything's addictive to me, man.

01:27:32.000 Everything.

01:27:32.000 I know.

01:27:33.000 All of it.

01:27:33.000 Anything I like.

01:27:34.000 I know.

01:27:35.000 Anything I like, it becomes addictive.

01:27:37.000 That's why your shoulder's messed up.

01:27:39.000 Exactly.

01:27:39.000 That's from jujitsu.

01:27:40.000 But it's not...

01:27:41.000 The shoulder was more of a maintenance thing.

01:27:43.000 It wasn't that bad.

01:27:45.000 It was just getting a little sore, and I wanted to get looked at, and there was some tendinitis in there.

01:27:49.000 Right.

01:27:50.000 So I'm real proactive at 51. I have to be real proactive about injuries and when things feel squirrely.

01:27:57.000 Yeah, it's the problem.

01:27:58.000 You can get hurt and then you can't work out anymore.

01:28:01.000 I like it too much.

01:28:04.000 But even if it's not something as intense as jujitsu...

01:28:08.000 I just need to do something, whether it's yoga or running.

01:28:11.000 This is like me, no workout, me, workout.

01:28:13.000 I like me when I work out so much more.

01:28:16.000 I like me better.

01:28:17.000 It happened to me in San Francisco the day after the banya. 0.81

01:28:21.000 I just woke up. 0.73

01:28:23.000 I had good shows Friday, but I just woke up in a shitty mood.

01:28:29.000 And I knew if I could just get my shoes on and go for a run, My whole day is going to be different.

01:28:38.000 And it's just a half hour, just going out, doing a comeback, and I was totally in the same room, just feeling completely different.

01:28:46.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:28:46.000 It's just a mental shift.

01:28:48.000 You're flooding your brain with all the beautiful thoughts and ideas that happen in there while you're running, while you're breathing. 1.00

01:28:56.000 You've got all these fucking ideas that come to your brain. 0.99

01:28:58.000 You get interested. 1.00

01:28:59.000 You're breathing, and you're running.

01:29:01.000 You're concentrating.

01:29:02.000 You're going, slow down a little bit here.

01:29:03.000 Slow down a little bit here. 0.99

01:29:04.000 Then you're like, fuck yeah, we're out here doing it. 0.99

01:29:06.000 I'm out here running. 1.00

01:29:07.000 Woo! 0.99

01:29:08.000 You get excited.

01:29:09.000 Yeah, it's a big deal.

01:29:09.000 And who knows what chemicals are firing off in your brain.

01:29:12.000 Oh, yeah, man.

01:29:13.000 Dude, it's my dog and me, because we run together, are like inseparable.

01:29:18.000 Really?

01:29:19.000 Dude, it's crazy.

01:29:19.000 It's hilarious.

01:29:20.000 He follows me everywhere.

01:29:22.000 Like, when I sit down, he sits right next to me.

01:29:24.000 He follows me.

01:29:26.000 I've never had a relationship with a dog like this.

01:29:29.000 I've never had dogs that I loved that were great, but this dog stuck to me like glue.

01:29:33.000 It's hilarious.

01:29:34.000 It's so great.

01:29:35.000 Part of it is because we run so much.

01:29:37.000 He gets so thrilled.

01:29:39.000 He's so happy.

01:29:41.000 When we run, he turns and he'll run ahead of me.

01:29:44.000 And then he'll come back to me to check up on me.

01:29:46.000 And then he comes back and runs with this big smile on his face.

01:29:49.000 Like, I can't believe we're out here!

01:29:51.000 And then he goes and runs again.

01:29:54.000 How far are you running with him?

01:29:55.000 A couple miles.

01:29:56.000 That's good.

01:29:57.000 In the hills.

01:29:57.000 Just pretty steep hills.

01:29:58.000 Oh, that's good.

01:29:59.000 That's a workout.

01:30:00.000 Yeah.

01:30:00.000 If I have a short time, I can do...

01:30:04.000 There's one real steep trail that I run.

01:30:07.000 There's one steep trail that we have to drive to a little bit, but it's super steep.

01:30:11.000 Oh, yeah.

01:30:11.000 It's way out near, like, Agora.

01:30:13.000 That one's rough.

01:30:15.000 Yeah.

01:30:15.000 That's a rough one.

01:30:16.000 That's gotta be tough.

01:30:17.000 Yeah, because it's real long.

01:30:18.000 It's like, the whole thing is the hills.

01:30:20.000 Because the hills are no pounding.

01:30:22.000 Right.

01:30:22.000 If you can get a good hill under you, it's way harder.

01:30:25.000 Yeah.

01:30:26.000 I base it on 140 beats a minute.

01:30:29.000 Anytime I get below 140 beats a minute, I start running again.

01:30:33.000 But I'll do these sprints.

01:30:34.000 I'll go as far as I can.

01:30:36.000 I get into the 180s. 0.99

01:30:39.000 And then when I'm like, fuck, I gotta take a break. 0.93

01:30:41.000 I'll just take a break and I'll look at my heartbeat, get my heartbeat down somewhere in the 140s, anywhere around 145, then I'm ready to go again. 0.99

01:30:48.000 Right.

01:30:49.000 And then I'll go again.

01:30:50.000 I'm usually like 160s running.

01:30:53.000 Dude, it's rough.

01:30:54.000 Hills are rough.

01:30:55.000 Hills are really rough.

01:30:56.000 They're a different thing.

01:30:57.000 But it's changed my kicking power.

01:30:59.000 Oh, yeah?

01:30:59.000 It's actually gave me more kicking power.

01:31:01.000 Yeah.

01:31:02.000 I can kick.

01:31:03.000 Believe it or not, it's probably like...

01:31:05.000 I want to see like 10%, 5% or 10% more power.

01:31:08.000 From the runs?

01:31:09.000 Yeah, my hips are bigger.

01:31:11.000 Wow.

01:31:11.000 It's like I have these muscles around my butt, like the hip area.

01:31:16.000 Right.

01:31:17.000 You know like where your belt is, like right below where your belt is?

01:31:20.000 Yeah.

01:31:20.000 I never had a muscle there.

01:31:21.000 Right.

01:31:22.000 I'm like, what is that?

01:31:23.000 This is crazy.

01:31:24.000 It's just bones.

01:31:24.000 This is all from hills.

01:31:25.000 This is all from running hills.

01:31:26.000 Wow.

01:31:26.000 So when I stomp, like if I stomp the back, like a front kick to the bag, that...

01:31:31.000 That forward thrust is the same thing you're doing all the time when you're running.

01:31:34.000 You're running.

01:31:35.000 You're pushing off one leg and you're pushing off the other leg because you're going up a hill.

01:31:39.000 So when you're kicking, you're pushing off that leg and thrusting that other leg forward.

01:31:43.000 It's crazy.

01:31:44.000 Is your dog good on the hills?

01:31:46.000 Does your dog ever get tired?

01:31:48.000 Yeah, he gets tired.

01:31:50.000 You know when they get tired?

01:31:51.000 They get tired when you throw the ball.

01:31:53.000 Then it's a sprint.

01:31:54.000 It's a sprint and then you bring it back.

01:31:55.000 It's a sprint and bring it back.

01:31:57.000 It's like seven times like, yo bro, I'm coming to lie down over here.

01:31:59.000 You're like, no, no, no.

01:32:00.000 Come on, man!

01:32:02.000 Give me that ball! 0.99

01:32:03.000 Come on, man!

01:32:04.000 My sister has to put down her dog tonight. 1.00

01:32:07.000 16-year-old dog.

01:32:09.000 A big, almost like a spaniel kind of thing.

01:32:12.000 Wow.

01:32:13.000 16 years.

01:32:14.000 And she's just been hanging on.

01:32:16.000 She's just been the greatest.

01:32:17.000 And tonight, 7.30.

01:32:20.000 Wow.

01:32:20.000 Just has to go.

01:32:21.000 There's no joy left.

01:32:23.000 She just can't go anymore.

01:32:25.000 It's going to be rough.

01:32:26.000 I've talked to her on my way in, and it's just like, what a brutal thing to have to do.

01:32:30.000 Yeah, it's so brutal.

01:32:31.000 16 years!

01:32:33.000 Yeah.

01:32:34.000 My dog got hit by a car when I was like 14. Oh.

01:32:38.000 14 or 15 right in front of me.

01:32:40.000 I was taking her across the street.

01:32:43.000 And we had a busy street near our house.

01:32:45.000 And some car came down the street really fast.

01:32:48.000 And she got off the leash and ran right into this.

01:32:52.000 Hit her in a Volkswagen. 0.93

01:32:54.000 Yeah, it was rough, dude.

01:32:56.000 I brought her up.

01:32:56.000 I carried her up to the house.

01:32:58.000 Did she die instantly?

01:32:59.000 Yeah, she died in like...

01:33:02.000 She died within like 15-20 minutes.

01:33:05.000 That's so brutal.

01:33:06.000 It was rough. 0.99

01:33:07.000 She started shitting all over the place. 0.98

01:33:08.000 How old was she? 0.98

01:33:09.000 She wasn't that old.

01:33:11.000 Maybe 5 or 6. It's brutal.

01:33:14.000 There's nothing worse.

01:33:15.000 It's so painful.

01:33:17.000 Sweet dog, too.

01:33:18.000 Yeah.

01:33:19.000 It was a bummer.

01:33:20.000 She just loved being in the park, and we were headed to the park, and she just got a little too excited and ran.

01:33:25.000 You know, I didn't see the car coming.

01:33:28.000 I didn't get a hold of her collar in time.

01:33:31.000 That's brutal.

01:33:32.000 It was so bad.

01:33:33.000 It was so bad.

01:33:34.000 She got knocked flying.

01:33:36.000 I didn't even know if she was going to die.

01:33:37.000 You couldn't tell.

01:33:38.000 All the injuries were internal.

01:33:40.000 I brought her upstairs. 0.59

01:33:42.000 She started shitting herself. 0.99

01:33:44.000 She started shitting all over the place. 0.99

01:33:45.000 It was very unusual for her. 0.98

01:33:46.000 She was house trained.

01:33:48.000 I was really scared.

01:33:51.000 Have you had to go through any pet deaths with your kids yet?

01:33:55.000 Yeah.

01:33:56.000 My two dogs.

01:33:57.000 I just had to put both of my dogs down.

01:33:59.000 Oh, for real?

01:34:00.000 Yeah.

01:34:01.000 They were...

01:34:03.000 13. It was a Mastiff when he was 13. Wow, that's great, Ron, for a Mastiff. 0.99

01:34:09.000 At the end, I used to have to carry him into the house.

01:34:12.000 Yeah.

01:34:13.000 He couldn't walk anymore.

01:34:14.000 He would walk, like, literally, he would be like, he would walk a step, walk a step, and then just stay, and his legs would be shaking, walk a step, walk a step.

01:34:21.000 Oh, that's so sad.

01:34:21.000 How did the kids handle it?

01:34:23.000 They were really sad.

01:34:24.000 Yeah.

01:34:24.000 It's hard, man.

01:34:25.000 Isn't that the hardest thing when you watch your kids have to deal with it?

01:34:28.000 It makes it so much harder.

01:34:30.000 Yeah.

01:34:32.000 They're trying to be brave.

01:34:33.000 I think there's a lesson in it.

01:34:35.000 Oh, for real?

01:34:36.000 I think it's not a good experience, but I think it's good for them to experience.

01:34:40.000 Oh, yeah.

01:34:41.000 Yeah.

01:34:42.000 Absolutely.

01:34:42.000 Especially that.

01:34:43.000 They have to go through it.

01:34:44.000 You know, like pet death.

01:34:46.000 And just... 1.00

01:34:49.000 Having those little relationships with animals, you know, when you're a kid, it's like, you're a dog, you can always talk to them, and you can say crazy shit to your dog. 0.98

01:34:59.000 You know, your dog can be sitting in your room with you, and you go, you know what, it's just you and me. 0.99

01:35:03.000 You're the only one who understands me. 1.00

01:35:06.000 Your parents are acting like assholes. 1.00

01:35:07.000 No one likes you in the house, but your dog still does. 1.00

01:35:10.000 I know my parents are a piece of shit, but you're not. 1.00

01:35:13.000 You're the best. 1.00

01:35:13.000 Everyone yells at me, get over here. 1.00

01:35:15.000 You're going to come with me.

01:35:16.000 Let's go.

01:35:17.000 When I move out, I'm taking the dog, Mom.

01:35:22.000 Oh, it's the best.

01:35:23.000 But watching your kids, like, trying to be brave, trying not to cry, that is such a heartbreaker.

01:35:30.000 Just trying to be like, I'm okay.

01:35:34.000 Oh, it's just the worst.

01:35:38.000 Yeah.

01:35:38.000 It's gonna kill me.

01:35:39.000 Hey, do you notice by your house, we have mosquitoes now.

01:35:44.000 Really?

01:35:45.000 Yeah.

01:35:45.000 We have like legit...

01:35:46.000 We never had mosquitoes out here.

01:35:49.000 There's like real mosquitoes.

01:35:51.000 And they bite you only from like your knee down.

01:35:55.000 Everybody around where I live is saying the same thing.

01:35:57.000 We've never had mosquitoes.

01:35:59.000 If you just wear pants, then your problem is solved.

01:36:02.000 I only wear pants.

01:36:03.000 So how are they biting you?

01:36:05.000 Well, I take my shoes off once in a while.

01:36:06.000 Don't do that.

01:36:09.000 You're right, though.

01:36:10.000 I have noticed mosquitoes.

01:36:11.000 I noticed some last night.

01:36:12.000 We never had them in Southern California before.

01:36:15.000 I don't know where they're coming from.

01:36:16.000 Well, we definitely had them.

01:36:18.000 We just didn't have many of them.

01:36:19.000 And this is how I know we had them.

01:36:20.000 I moved into a house once in Encino, and no one had lived there for, like, at least a year, I think.

01:36:24.000 And the pool had not been tended to.

01:36:26.000 So the pool was filled with mosquito larva.

01:36:28.000 Ooh.

01:36:29.000 And...

01:36:29.000 I mean, it's like fish.

01:36:32.000 Like schools of fish.

01:36:34.000 Oh my god.

01:36:34.000 Swimming around there.

01:36:35.000 And I was freaking out.

01:36:36.000 I was like, what is that?

01:36:37.000 Are these fish?

01:36:38.000 And I hired this guy, Kevin the pool guy.

01:36:41.000 And Kevin the pool guy came over and he was like, bro, those are mosquito larvae.

01:36:45.000 Oh my god.

01:36:46.000 No way.

01:36:48.000 Maybe that's where they all came from.

01:36:50.000 It's a new thing.

01:36:51.000 I mean, we used to have our doors open, our windows open, no screens, no problem.

01:36:55.000 But now all of a sudden, just this last year.

01:36:58.000 Yeah, we're so sad.

01:36:59.000 You have to live like the rest of the world now.

01:37:01.000 Why do I live here if I have to put screens on my windows?

01:37:06.000 Do you think that'll last?

01:37:07.000 Will it change?

01:37:08.000 I don't know.

01:37:09.000 Have you heard about this? 0.99

01:37:11.000 Do you see that shit that I posted yesterday about that yellow mustard plant? 1.00

01:37:15.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:37:15.000 It's called black mustard. 1.00

01:37:16.000 It looks so beautiful.

01:37:17.000 I was like, oh, that's nice.

01:37:18.000 And it was the most ominous posting, though. 0.99

01:37:20.000 Well, it's very strange, man, because this shit didn't exist before. 0.98

01:37:24.000 Like, on the same hills where I'm seeing it dominate the hill, it literally didn't exist a year ago. 0.99

01:37:32.000 And now it's just like an invasive plant.

01:37:34.000 Yeah, it's a crazy plant.

01:37:36.000 I just looked up mosquitoes in Los Angeles and it's an article from the end of last year, but it says, have you experienced an unusual number of mosquitoes bites this summer, mostly below the knee and especially around your ankles?

01:37:47.000 How about that?

01:37:48.000 It's called an Aedes bug.

01:37:52.000 An Aedes bug?

01:37:54.000 You have Aedes.

01:37:55.000 A-E-D-E-S, and it's a real problem, right? 1.00

01:37:58.000 Wow.

01:37:58.000 Yeah, it's a problem.

01:37:59.000 It's a real problem.

01:38:00.000 What, do I live in Maine?

01:38:01.000 He just read it.

01:38:03.000 A-E-D-E-S, and it's a real problem. 0.99

01:38:05.000 Oh, that's funny.

01:38:06.000 They're spreading like wildfire, says Susan Klu, Director of Scientific and Technical Research Services for the Greater Los Angeles County Vector Control District. 0.99

01:38:13.000 Sounds like Suzanne needs money for her fucking business. 1.00

01:38:17.000 That's what it sounds like to me, bro. 1.00

01:38:18.000 Our phones are exploding.

01:38:20.000 This is fake news.

01:38:23.000 Kidding.

01:38:24.000 Los Angeles is home to two particularly troubling types of invasive Aedes mosquitoes.

01:38:29.000 Oh, man.

01:38:29.000 Look at that.

01:38:30.000 The Asian tiger mosquito arrived first, having hitched a ride with shipments of lucky bamboo from China.

01:38:36.000 You and your bamboo barbells.

01:38:38.000 I don't think it's like a polymer.

01:38:42.000 China in 2001. Vector control specialist monitored plant nurseries across the county.

01:38:49.000 And soon stopped finding the mosquitoes in their traps.

01:38:52.000 They thought the insects had been eradicated.

01:38:54.000 However, in 2011, residents in El Monte began to complain about unusually aggressive, daytime-biting mosquitoes plaguing the neighborhood.

01:39:01.000 Yes, in the daytime.

01:39:04.000 Mosquitoes.

01:39:05.000 This is happening.

01:39:06.000 They've been infiltrated.

01:39:08.000 What do you think would happen if people started seeing malaria in America?

01:39:16.000 Why hasn't that happened?

01:39:17.000 Good question.

01:39:19.000 I'm sure Dr. Peter Hotez could have explained that to us, right?

01:39:22.000 When he was talking about infectious diseases from...

01:39:25.000 Malaria is...

01:39:28.000 Malaria is...

01:39:29.000 I know when I was still living in Ohio, West Nile virus would pop up a lot with mosquitoes.

01:39:33.000 Not like every day or anything like that, but I know they'd have to spray certain neighborhoods all the time.

01:39:37.000 Like, stay in, keep your kids in, keep your pets in, we're spraying your neighborhood.

01:39:39.000 Yeah, man.

01:39:41.000 West Nile...

01:39:43.000 I didn't sign up for this.

01:39:44.000 How about signing up for spraying?

01:39:47.000 That's scarier than the West Nile, because the spray's gonna get to everybody.

01:39:50.000 They used to spray when I was a kid in New Jersey.

01:39:52.000 They would spray for the gypsy moths. 1.00

01:39:53.000 Jesus.

01:39:54.000 They wouldn't even tell us.

01:39:56.000 They were just like, look at that plane! 1.00

01:39:57.000 And shit would be coming out of its ass end. 1.00

01:39:59.000 Think of the difference between the way a butterfly gets treated and a moth. 1.00

01:40:04.000 Yeah.

01:40:05.000 Well, moths deserve it. 0.91

01:40:10.000 Dirty. 0.57

01:40:11.000 Isn't it funny?

01:40:12.000 Butterflies are beautiful.

01:40:13.000 They're a little chalky and they have a plain color.

01:40:16.000 They've got like that fur on their head.

01:40:17.000 They're basically the same thing.

01:40:18.000 They're the same thing.

01:40:19.000 No, they're gray or white.

01:40:21.000 Yeah, but it's only the way they look.

01:40:22.000 Yeah, the butterfly's beautiful.

01:40:24.000 But isn't that crazy?

01:40:25.000 Orange and black.

01:40:26.000 Like, we love them.

01:40:28.000 Love them.

01:40:28.000 You find a spider, you stomp it.

01:40:30.000 You would never go to a zoo and go into the moth house. 1.00

01:40:32.000 If you kill a ladybug, you're an asshole. 1.00

01:40:34.000 Oh, completely. 1.00

01:40:35.000 You're the type of person who kills ladybugs? 1.00

01:40:37.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:40:37.000 But if you don't kill roach, I can't hang out with you. 0.99

01:40:40.000 If you let a roach run across your kitchen floor, you're like, Sat Nam, roach. 0.94

01:40:44.000 Sat Nam, namaste.

01:40:46.000 I save all... 1.00

01:40:47.000 Kill that fucking thing! 1.00

01:40:49.000 You got a roach in your kitchen, lady. 1.00

01:40:53.000 Right?

01:40:54.000 Yeah, absolutely.

01:40:55.000 But a ladybug has a couple dots on it.

01:40:57.000 Why are we racist with bugs?

01:40:59.000 Because there's such a thing as beauty.

01:41:02.000 Okay, that's why squirrels get a pass and rats don't.

01:41:04.000 Yes.

01:41:05.000 Bushy tail.

01:41:06.000 Yeah, looking cute.

01:41:07.000 A little style like a fringe jacket.

01:41:09.000 Imagine if the tail was just because they found out if the tails grew bushy, people would stop killing them.

01:41:14.000 Yeah.

01:41:15.000 I mean, what's more disgusting than just a skin tail with nothing on it? 1.00

01:41:19.000 Possum.

01:41:20.000 Possum's tail.

01:41:21.000 Possums don't even cause any problems. 0.92

01:41:23.000 They're disgusting. 1.00

01:41:24.000 Possum tail, you're like, ew, you little fucking... 1.00

01:41:26.000 Get the bat! 1.00

01:41:27.000 Little hands.

01:41:28.000 Get the bat! 0.92

01:41:29.000 Little hands and your little reptile tail. 1.00

01:41:32.000 Creepy little fuck. 1.00

01:41:33.000 Little beady eyes. 1.00

01:41:34.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:41:34.000 Disgusting. 1.00

01:41:35.000 Yeah, but we have certain animals that we like, like raccoons. 0.95

01:41:40.000 Look, we don't like raccoons when they're eating out of your garbage, but if someone had a pet raccoon, you would think that's the dopest thing ever.

01:41:47.000 We secretly want relationships with raccoons.

01:41:49.000 If they would only be nicer to us, we would embrace raccoons. 0.99

01:41:53.000 Raccoons don't want to have shit to do with us. 0.99

01:41:55.000 They don't. 0.99

01:41:55.000 I don't get it. 0.99

01:41:56.000 They're smart.

01:41:57.000 We're too smart for us.

01:41:58.000 We're nice to them. 1.00

01:41:59.000 I feel like these people are assholes. 1.00

01:42:00.000 Just wait until they go to sleep and eat their trash. 1.00

01:42:02.000 We'll just eat their garbage. 1.00

01:42:03.000 It's safer to eat their garbage. 0.99

01:42:05.000 Yeah, they put lids on it. 1.00

01:42:06.000 That shit doesn't work. 1.00

01:42:07.000 They've got that cool black mask. 1.00

01:42:08.000 Yeah, you lift the lid, you throw it aside, you pull the bag out.

01:42:11.000 They have hands.

01:42:12.000 I know.

01:42:12.000 They have people hands.

01:42:13.000 They do have the little tiny people hands.

01:42:15.000 I know.

01:42:15.000 They can grab stuff, smoke cigarettes, hang out, text.

01:42:19.000 They also kill chickens.

01:42:23.000 Well, so do we.

01:42:24.000 Do you know who's a real predator?

01:42:25.000 Skunks.

01:42:26.000 Skunks are predators.

01:42:27.000 There's a skunk living in the back of my yard.

01:42:29.000 Oh! 0.60

01:42:30.000 Sprayed my dog.

01:42:31.000 Oh no.

01:42:33.000 It's still there?

01:42:34.000 I think so.

01:42:35.000 Come on, bro.

01:42:36.000 Man up.

01:42:37.000 What am I gonna do?

01:42:38.000 Take out the skunk.

01:42:39.000 Hazmat suit.

01:42:39.000 BB gun.

01:42:40.000 Time to go to war. 0.90

01:42:42.000 I gotta go crawl into the thing and find him?

01:42:45.000 Crawl into the thing? 1.00

01:42:46.000 Look at this fucking hand! 1.00

01:42:47.000 Look at that raccoon's hand! 1.00

01:42:49.000 That shit's crazy. 1.00

01:42:50.000 It's like he's flaunting. 1.00

01:42:51.000 He's like, yeah, look at that.

01:42:53.000 His hand is so much smaller than his face.

01:42:55.000 It's crazy.

01:42:56.000 Imagine if your hand was that small and relationship to the size of your head.

01:43:01.000 He's adorable, though, isn't he?

01:43:02.000 He is.

01:43:03.000 He's a cute little fellow. 0.73

01:43:04.000 He's like, look, you think I'm staying out of your garbage? 0.75

01:43:06.000 No way. 0.98

01:43:06.000 Look what I'm working with. 0.98

01:43:07.000 Do they have opposable thumbs?

01:43:09.000 Look what I'm working with.

01:43:10.000 Didn't quite seem like...

01:43:11.000 No, it looks like five fingers with no thumb.

01:43:15.000 Right.

01:43:15.000 That's the thing they never figured out.

01:43:16.000 Look at his teeth.

01:43:17.000 They never figured it out.

01:43:19.000 Like, they had meetings.

01:43:20.000 They're jazz hands.

01:43:20.000 Dudes, we just need a thumb.

01:43:22.000 Let me see the teeth there.

01:43:24.000 Look at when he's got his mouth open.

01:43:25.000 Look at that.

01:43:26.000 Whoa, that would hurt.

01:43:27.000 That would really hurt. 1.00

01:43:28.000 That would fucking suck. 0.99

01:43:30.000 Look, one of them's chipped. 1.00

01:43:31.000 Yeah, from biting you in the head.

01:43:35.000 Do you think if a raccoon attacked you, you could fight it off?

01:43:38.000 No.

01:43:38.000 Well, you could stomp it.

01:43:40.000 What would you do?

01:43:40.000 Would you give up?

01:43:41.000 It might cut your neck.

01:43:42.000 When would you decide we're going to the death? 0.98

01:43:45.000 Immediately.

01:43:46.000 Immediately?

01:43:47.000 Yeah.

01:43:47.000 You wouldn't try to talk the raccoon out of this?

01:43:49.000 No. 1.00

01:43:49.000 Fuck off! 1.00

01:43:50.000 As soon as he makes a move, I'm ready. 1.00

01:43:52.000 No!

01:43:52.000 Because I've been thinking about it since childhood.

01:43:54.000 Oh, look at that one.

01:43:55.000 I don't want that one biting my nose. 0.62

01:43:57.000 He looks like a hyena. 1.00

01:43:58.000 Fucked a raccoon and made that thing. 1.00

01:44:00.000 I've been thinking these things are coming after us my whole life, so if he makes a move, it's on. 1.00

01:44:05.000 Bro, those teeth are goddamn terrifying. 0.97

01:44:07.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:44:08.000 Look at those teeth. 0.56

01:44:09.000 No, and they're sneaky.

01:44:10.000 That's a big thing, too.

01:44:11.000 And they're filled with rabies.

01:44:12.000 Filled.

01:44:13.000 Yeah, to the top. 0.99

01:44:15.000 Like their balls are heavy with rabies. 0.99

01:44:16.000 It's just oozing out of them. 0.98

01:44:18.000 Like two water balloons.

01:44:21.000 Raccoons' strong sense is touch.

01:44:24.000 Ooh, I touch you.

01:44:25.000 When hunting, raccoons rely on their hands more than their eyes.

01:44:28.000 I'm going to touch you now.

01:44:29.000 Studies suggest that their sensitivity to touch increases when their hands are wet, which might be why they always wash their food.

01:44:37.000 Wow.

01:44:37.000 I just washed my hands and now I am going to touch you when you sleep.

01:44:41.000 I'm going to touch you and your children while you are sleeping with my five-finger hands. 1.00

01:44:46.000 Like, if a rat was as big as a raccoon and tried to kill you, you'd be fucking terrified. 1.00

01:44:50.000 No, we'd be spraying. 0.99

01:44:52.000 Oh.

01:44:52.000 If there were rat-sized things just going through L.A. But why?

01:44:56.000 Do you think we'll spray for these mosquitoes?

01:44:58.000 I think it's time to call our congressman.

01:45:00.000 Well, I think that everyone's afraid of chemtrails, and if you start spraying, circling greater Los Angeles, dropping poison down.

01:45:09.000 That's the rat with the pizza? 0.89

01:45:10.000 I've seen that.

01:45:11.000 Oh, yeah, the pizza rat.

01:45:12.000 He's famous. 0.98

01:45:13.000 Rats are disgusting, too.

01:45:14.000 Yeah, they're pretty gross. 0.99

01:45:16.000 Have you ever seen that Netflix documentary?

01:45:17.000 On rats?

01:45:18.000 Yeah.

01:45:19.000 No.

01:45:20.000 Oh no, really?

01:45:22.000 Dude.

01:45:22.000 Oh, dude.

01:45:23.000 Really?

01:45:23.000 Yeah.

01:45:24.000 You need to watch it.

01:45:25.000 Because it's educational.

01:45:27.000 It's not just gross, and it's really gross.

01:45:30.000 But when you realize how many of them there really are in major cities, the biomass of them, it's stunning.

01:45:38.000 Really? 0.98

01:45:39.000 New York's all rat. 1.00

01:45:41.000 It's just rats. 1.00

01:45:43.000 It's more or somewhere in the neighborhood of as many rats as there are people.

01:45:48.000 Really?

01:45:49.000 And there's 8 million people.

01:45:51.000 And there's how many more?

01:45:52.000 As much or more.

01:45:54.000 Jeez.

01:45:55.000 I don't think they know.

01:45:56.000 I mean, you see them non-stop walking around.

01:45:59.000 They're just guessing.

01:46:00.000 Obviously, most of them are subterranean, most of them are living in houses, and most of them, I mean, they burrow their way into tiny little holes.

01:46:06.000 How long does a rat live?

01:46:07.000 That's a good question.

01:46:08.000 How long does a rat live?

01:46:10.000 Because they're born, there's a lot of them, but do they stick around for like 20 years?

01:46:14.000 Dude, the documentary showed how they send young rats to try out poison.

01:46:18.000 Oh! 0.60

01:46:18.000 Really? 0.60

01:46:19.000 Yeah, the old rats sit back. 0.99

01:46:20.000 Suicide rats? 0.98

01:46:21.000 They send them out there because they don't know any better. 0.99

01:46:23.000 They let them die. 1.00

01:46:23.000 They're just assholes. 1.00

01:46:24.000 Wow. 1.00

01:46:25.000 Yeah.

01:46:27.000 Here's a little tip.

01:46:27.000 If they're ever doing construction in New York in front of a restaurant, you don't eat it.

01:46:32.000 You don't eat on that street.

01:46:33.000 Why?

01:46:34.000 Because they're digging it up, whatever their little ecosystem is, and they're just...

01:46:38.000 Oh, no.

01:46:39.000 So if they're digging up the street, they're dying somewhere else.

01:46:42.000 I would imagine in New York it must be so hard to keep them out of a restaurant.

01:46:45.000 Oh, it's gotta be so hard.

01:46:47.000 Like, I guess maybe leave some in the dumpster for them.

01:46:50.000 Like, give an offering to the monsters. 0.98

01:46:52.000 Just a head.

01:46:53.000 Yeah, like when they used to tie the girl onto the steaks for Kong. 1.00

01:46:58.000 So he'd leave everybody else alone.

01:47:00.000 On a little shish kebab stick.

01:47:03.000 It's like your last job when you're closing down the restaurant.

01:47:06.000 You pull the gate down. 0.85

01:47:08.000 The rats are our friends. 0.97

01:47:10.000 Put the skulls out.

01:47:11.000 Well, what is interesting, what are those?

01:47:14.000 Various sizes of them.

01:47:15.000 They mostly go up to about two pounds.

01:47:18.000 It says in New York City, he doesn't think there's any that are three because they'd be too big to be able to move around.

01:47:23.000 Right.

01:47:23.000 It's like a physiological limit to their size.

01:47:26.000 Does it say how long they live?

01:47:27.000 Average about two years, one to two years in the wild, up to four if you have it as a pet.

01:47:31.000 Oh, wow.

01:47:32.000 That's it?

01:47:33.000 My wife used to have pets. 0.99

01:47:35.000 Hamsters are like that.

01:47:36.000 My wife had rats for pets when she was a kid. 0.95

01:47:38.000 Was she goth? 0.99

01:47:39.000 No.

01:47:40.000 She was just a Jersey kid, just loved animals, and she would just ride her bike around and this rat would just be like on her shoulders.

01:47:46.000 Oh, Jesus Christ. 0.91

01:47:47.000 Weird rat lady. 1.00

01:47:48.000 Weird.

01:47:50.000 Yeah, it's weird.

01:47:50.000 But I get it if it's your pet.

01:47:52.000 But she said they were super smart and super affectionate.

01:47:55.000 Yeah.

01:47:55.000 If you had it its whole life and you raise it right, yeah, why not?

01:47:58.000 Yeah, it's not dirty.

01:47:59.000 It's not like going through the sewers and eating poo and climbing on your head.

01:48:02.000 Right.

01:48:03.000 But it would if you just let it go.

01:48:06.000 Maybe.

01:48:07.000 100%.

01:48:07.000 She like had it out with her.

01:48:09.000 Go rat-like.

01:48:10.000 If you just let it loose in the wild.

01:48:12.000 How long would it take for a domesticated rat to adapt to living in like a New York City sewer?

01:48:21.000 40 seconds.

01:48:24.000 What do you think they would do? 1.00

01:48:26.000 That would be a crazy fucking Disney movie. 1.00

01:48:28.000 Hey, look at you from the suburbs. 0.99

01:48:30.000 What, have you been living in a house? 0.87

01:48:31.000 Yeah, with like, you know those multicolored rats?

01:48:34.000 They have like all these cute little different colors on them.

01:48:36.000 Oh, you're so clean with your pink hair.

01:48:39.000 Oh, you got different colors.

01:48:40.000 Look at you.

01:48:41.000 Hey, Joe, get a load of this one.

01:48:44.000 He's not even gray.

01:48:46.000 Hey, how come you ain't gray?

01:48:48.000 Look at you. 0.87

01:48:49.000 You're white and you're brown. 1.00

01:48:50.000 You're like a fucking dog over there. 1.00

01:48:53.000 You think you're better than us, don't you? 1.00

01:48:55.000 Yeah.

01:48:55.000 Yeah, get over here.

01:48:56.000 I guess you don't know how to get into the restaurant, do you?

01:48:59.000 You're looking hungry.

01:49:01.000 What, do you got money on you?

01:49:03.000 You give us some money, we'll show you where you get all the good food.

01:49:08.000 Yeah.

01:49:08.000 You ever been to Little Italy?

01:49:10.000 Wait till I show you. 0.99

01:49:13.000 What a shit roll of dives. 1.00

01:49:15.000 Getting born a rat. 1.00

01:49:16.000 Being born a rat. 0.99

01:49:18.000 The worst. 0.98

01:49:19.000 Terrible. 0.98

01:49:20.000 Nobody likes you.

01:49:21.000 No one likes you, but you do survive pretty well.

01:49:24.000 You'd be better off being a javelina. 0.67

01:49:26.000 What's a javelina?

01:49:27.000 It's a peccary.

01:49:29.000 What's a peccary? 0.98

01:49:30.000 It's like a cousin to a pig. 0.90

01:49:31.000 What's a pig? 1.00

01:49:35.000 You ever seen a javelina?

01:49:36.000 No.

01:49:36.000 Doug lives in Bisbee, Arizona, Stanhope.

01:49:41.000 By the way, I think it's sold out, but he's taping his next special in Vegas next month.

01:49:47.000 Oh, nice.

01:49:48.000 Yeah.

01:49:48.000 In Vegas, that's cool.

01:49:49.000 Where he lives in Bisbee, that's a javelina.

01:49:53.000 He lives really close to the border. 0.99

01:49:54.000 I think he's only six miles from the border or some crazy shit. 0.99

01:49:58.000 And these things live in the wild, out in the desert. 0.99

01:50:02.000 Right. 1.00

01:50:02.000 They're fucking... 1.00

01:50:03.000 They're aggressive. 1.00

01:50:04.000 Ew. 1.00

01:50:05.000 And they fucked up his neighbor's dog. 1.00

01:50:07.000 They killed his neighbor's dog. 0.99

01:50:08.000 No.

01:50:09.000 Yeah, man.

01:50:09.000 The dog was out, and the javelinas will flank it.

01:50:13.000 They'll get on both sides of it.

01:50:14.000 They hunt in a pack?

01:50:16.000 Yeah, they hunt in a pack.

01:50:17.000 And they will attack a small dog.

01:50:20.000 Ew. 0.93

01:50:21.000 That thing's disgusting. 1.00

01:50:22.000 Yeah, they're gross, dude. 0.99

01:50:23.000 That's like a giant rat. 0.99

01:50:24.000 It looks like a giant rat. 0.89

01:50:26.000 Well...

01:50:27.000 It does. 1.00

01:50:28.000 It looks like a pig fucked a rat. 1.00

01:50:30.000 Oh, somebody shot it in the face of a crossbow. 1.00

01:50:32.000 People hunt them all the time. 1.00

01:50:33.000 It looks like a pig fucked a rat. 0.99

01:50:35.000 You see that guy shot one? 1.00

01:50:37.000 It does look like a pig fucked a rat, right? 0.99

01:50:39.000 It does, yeah. 0.99

01:50:39.000 Click on the guy who shot one. 0.99

01:50:42.000 Yeah, bow and arrow.

01:50:44.000 A lot of guys hunt them with archery equipment.

01:50:46.000 See, wouldn't it be better if he was dressed in like a coat with a tie in those boots?

01:50:51.000 No, because you don't want that thing to see you.

01:50:53.000 Look at that. 0.98

01:50:53.000 That's a rat face. 0.98

01:50:54.000 Bro, that is such a rat face. 0.98

01:50:56.000 Please go back to that picture. 0.98

01:50:57.000 That last picture.

01:50:57.000 On a giant body.

01:50:59.000 Scroll back to that last one and make it bigger again.

01:51:02.000 Yeah.

01:51:02.000 Bro, that guy's hunting rats.

01:51:04.000 Ew, look at its teeth. 0.96

01:51:06.000 That's like a slightly different looking rat. 0.89

01:51:09.000 Ew! 0.98

01:51:10.000 Oh, you want to know what's really crazy? 0.62

01:51:11.000 That's a giant rat. 0.91

01:51:11.000 That's a hundred pound rat. 0.91

01:51:13.000 Yeah.

01:51:14.000 Without a tail.

01:51:14.000 That's so gross.

01:51:15.000 And you know what's really crazy is those animals, they're the best animal to a call.

01:51:23.000 Now what a call is, is like you'd make a sound of a wounded animal.

01:51:28.000 No, you make like...

01:51:32.000 Like something that's suffering.

01:51:34.000 Like people take their hand. 1.00

01:51:40.000 These fuckers run in. 1.00

01:51:43.000 They run in. 1.00

01:51:44.000 Really?

01:51:44.000 Yes, they're so aggressive.

01:51:46.000 It's crazy to watch.

01:51:47.000 Because they think something's hurt and I can go eat it?

01:51:49.000 But they have to act quick because there's coyotes out there and mountain lions out there.

01:51:52.000 So when something's hurting... 1.00

01:51:53.000 And they hear, like, fuck food! 1.00

01:51:55.000 And they just run towards it. 1.00

01:51:57.000 So when you're bow hunting, you almost have to have one person make the call, and you're at full draw, and then they start calling, and the things come running in, and you shoot at them.

01:52:07.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:52:08.000 Because you couldn't do it, you couldn't get to the bow. 0.99

01:52:10.000 You wouldn't get to the bow on the time, because they'd see you, and they'd go, fuck, it's a guy! 0.98

01:52:13.000 And it would turn off the other way again. 0.99

01:52:15.000 Yeah.

01:52:16.000 Are these like invasive?

01:52:18.000 Are they all over his property?

01:52:19.000 No, they're natural.

01:52:20.000 No, but I mean, are they not invasive?

01:52:22.000 But I mean, is there a lot of them?

01:52:24.000 Yes.

01:52:24.000 There's like a ton around where he lives.

01:52:26.000 They exist.

01:52:26.000 Yeah.

01:52:27.000 I mean, they exist in the desert.

01:52:28.000 I mean, they exist in healthy enough populations that people hunt for them.

01:52:31.000 Wow.

01:52:32.000 And they eat them.

01:52:33.000 They say they taste good.

01:52:34.000 Ew.

01:52:34.000 Yeah.

01:52:35.000 I wouldn't eat that.

01:52:36.000 But you eat a pig.

01:52:37.000 Yeah, but they're cuter.

01:52:39.000 Wild boar?

01:52:40.000 Yeah.

01:52:40.000 With crazy tusks?

01:52:42.000 Yeah, those are gross, too. 0.96

01:52:43.000 Those are pretty gross, too. 0.99

01:52:44.000 Now, my pigs... 0.98

01:52:45.000 Look at those.

01:52:47.000 The ones I eat have bow ties.

01:52:49.000 They're climbing around this guy's garage.

01:52:50.000 And little tap shoes.

01:52:52.000 Sometimes a hat. 1.00

01:52:53.000 Look at this shit. 1.00

01:52:54.000 They're staring him down, bro. 1.00

01:52:56.000 They're staring him down.

01:52:56.000 They're in his garage.

01:52:58.000 There's a whole bunch of them. 0.99

01:52:59.000 What in the fuck is that? 0.99

01:53:00.000 Right on your kid's toy. 1.00

01:53:01.000 Look at his...

01:53:02.000 It's all...

01:53:02.000 It's hairs up.

01:53:03.000 Ew.

01:53:03.000 In a threatening way.

01:53:05.000 Look at that.

01:53:05.000 It's just gonna take a dump in your driveway.

01:53:07.000 Dude.

01:53:08.000 You do not want that in your life.

01:53:09.000 I don't wanna live there. 1.00

01:53:11.000 There's fucking 20 of them in this guy's driveway. 1.00

01:53:14.000 See? 0.99

01:53:14.000 Look at that one there in the back. 0.99

01:53:16.000 Roll that back again.

01:53:17.000 How many were there?

01:53:19.000 There was like 12. What is the name of that video for people who want to watch it?

01:53:23.000 Wild javelinas make a visit to Arizona home.

01:53:26.000 Wild javelinas!

01:53:28.000 Yeah, no, no, no.

01:53:28.000 I know you can't show it.

01:53:30.000 Those fucking things are everywhere. 1.00

01:53:32.000 There's a lot of them. 1.00

01:53:33.000 Look at that.

01:53:34.000 Look at how many of them there are.

01:53:36.000 At least.

01:53:37.000 At least eight.

01:53:38.000 And then there's the one that was on top of the...

01:53:41.000 There's nine.

01:53:41.000 And then there's the one that was on top of the truck.

01:53:43.000 And then there's the one that you can see through the fence.

01:53:45.000 Yeah.

01:53:45.000 And there's probably more out there, too.

01:53:47.000 Ew! 0.98

01:53:47.000 Ew, it's going in the car. 0.98

01:53:48.000 It's going in the kid's little car.

01:53:50.000 Jesus Christ.

01:53:51.000 Ew, it's in the passenger seat of the car.

01:53:54.000 Ew! 1.00

01:53:56.000 Gross fucking creatures. 1.00

01:53:57.000 I feel like Wild Javelina is like a Dean Martin song. 1.00

01:54:00.000 You think so?

01:54:01.000 Look at all of them over there.

01:54:02.000 Look at all of them.

01:54:03.000 Wild Javelina. 1.00

01:54:04.000 Fuck, man. 1.00

01:54:06.000 They're weird looking, too. 1.00

01:54:07.000 They look like they're demons.

01:54:09.000 I don't like them at all.

01:54:10.000 They got little beady eyes like they're up to no good.

01:54:12.000 But...

01:54:14.000 If you were a little kid...

01:54:15.000 You're thinking like, oh, I wouldn't live there because that's there, but if you live in New York, at night, who knows what's climbing all around your building.

01:54:23.000 Right.

01:54:24.000 Could be. 1.00

01:54:25.000 Eagles and shit, right? 1.00

01:54:26.000 Is that what you're talking about? 0.99

01:54:27.000 No.

01:54:28.000 Hey, Google Javelina...

01:54:29.000 I had a rat get into my house in...

01:54:32.000 Google Javelina eats baby.

01:54:35.000 Let's see if that's ever happened.

01:54:36.000 Like a human baby?

01:54:37.000 Yeah, a human baby.

01:54:40.000 Let's see if that happened.

01:54:41.000 What do you think?

01:54:41.000 If a javelina ate a human?

01:54:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:54:43.000 Like, you see those fucking things? 1.00

01:54:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:54:44.000 20 in that guy's driveway? 1.00

01:54:45.000 Oh, they've definitely eaten babies. 0.98

01:54:47.000 I'm exaggerating.

01:54:47.000 It wasn't 20. Someone's eating a baby right now.

01:54:49.000 Probably 13. It was probably 12. A baker's dozen.

01:54:52.000 A baker's dozen.

01:54:53.000 Of javelinas.

01:54:54.000 Yeah, they would eat a baby. 0.98

01:54:56.000 A toddler?

01:54:57.000 Yeah.

01:54:57.000 Knock it down?

01:54:58.000 Yeah.

01:54:59.000 I mean, if they eat a dog.

01:55:00.000 Yeah.

01:55:01.000 You think they're scared of people?

01:55:02.000 They obviously weren't scared of that dude.

01:55:03.000 No.

01:55:03.000 That's a full-blown person.

01:55:05.000 And a baby doesn't have fur, doesn't have anything.

01:55:07.000 I know, I put his hair up.

01:55:09.000 Spikes up to let you know it's threatened.

01:55:12.000 Did I ever tell you the story of when I pulled a rat out of my pool vacuum?

01:55:17.000 Ew.

01:55:21.000 Was it alive?

01:55:22.000 No.

01:55:23.000 Did it stink?

01:55:25.000 It stunk.

01:55:26.000 I'm like, why isn't the vacuum working?

01:55:28.000 And I dove in and I pulled it up. 0.99

01:55:31.000 And there was a half a rat, its ass sticking out the vacuum. 0.85

01:55:35.000 And as soon as I got it above the water, flies just... 0.96

01:55:40.000 And I had to pull it out without it breaking. 0.99

01:55:44.000 Where the fuck are the flies before the shit? 1.00

01:55:47.000 Good question. 1.00

01:55:48.000 Where the fuck are they? 0.99

01:55:49.000 All over. 0.99

01:55:50.000 They're not that many.

01:55:51.000 Like, if you're around...

01:56:08.000 We're good to go.

01:56:25.000 Yeah.

01:56:44.000 Yeah, right.

01:56:45.000 The scary one.

01:56:46.000 There was a lady who got bit by a coyote recently in Dallas.

01:56:49.000 Oh, yeah?

01:56:50.000 No, no, no.

01:56:50.000 Yeah, it was around the Dallas area.

01:56:51.000 I think they think that there's this one coyote that's been biting people.

01:56:55.000 It's a rogue, unusual coyote that's been snapping at people.

01:56:59.000 Oh, really?

01:57:00.000 Yeah, they had bite marks on their legs.

01:57:02.000 Oh, my God. 0.99

01:57:02.000 Yeah, it's gross, man, because they will kill you. 0.99

01:57:05.000 Ew. 1.00

01:57:05.000 They would kill you. 1.00

01:57:06.000 They're just small.

01:57:07.000 They're just not sure if it's worth the effort, and you're around people, and they're worried that, you know...

01:57:13.000 One-on-one, could you fight off a coyote?

01:57:15.000 I don't know if you could, man. 1.00

01:57:16.000 I mean, I think you probably could if you had to, but they'll fuck you up, man. 1.00

01:57:19.000 They just keep biting. 1.00

01:57:20.000 If there's a few of them, that's where the real problem comes.

01:57:22.000 If they bite you in the right spot.

01:57:24.000 Yeah, man, they'll rip your tendons apart. 0.94

01:57:26.000 You won't be able to run away.

01:57:27.000 They know what they're doing, too.

01:57:29.000 They know what they're doing.

01:57:30.000 They try to take your legs out.

01:57:32.000 I mean, they know what they're doing.

01:57:33.000 They're not going to try to jump up and bite you in the neck.

01:57:35.000 They're going to try to take your hamstrings out. 1.00

01:57:37.000 Right.

01:57:38.000 Yeah, they're trying to rip your legs apart so you can't run.

01:57:40.000 Why are they so mean?

01:57:42.000 That's how they're alive.

01:57:44.000 You're not leaving any food out for them, are you?

01:57:46.000 No.

01:57:46.000 They've got to do what they've got to do.

01:57:47.000 It's called domestication.

01:57:49.000 That's how we have dogs. 1.00

01:57:50.000 Do you ever take your family camping?

01:57:52.000 I have not.

01:57:53.000 Yeah, I haven't either.

01:57:54.000 I would, though.

01:57:55.000 I wanted to take my kids to Yosemite because I love Yosemite.

01:58:00.000 Did you bring a piece?

01:58:00.000 Sidearm?

01:58:01.000 Nothing.

01:58:02.000 Nothing.

01:58:02.000 Just went solo.

01:58:03.000 We weren't camping.

01:58:04.000 We were staying in an inn.

01:58:06.000 What about emergency food?

01:58:07.000 No emergency food.

01:58:08.000 Satellite phone?

01:58:09.000 Nothing.

01:58:09.000 Nothing?

01:58:10.000 Just a phone.

01:58:10.000 First aid kit?

01:58:11.000 Nothing.

01:58:13.000 A bag of Funyuns and an iPhone.

01:58:16.000 That's all you need.

01:58:17.000 And I want to show them Yosemite because it's such a great part of my life.

01:58:20.000 I love it.

01:58:21.000 I've lived in the backcountry for like a week at a time.

01:58:24.000 I just love the whole thing.

01:58:25.000 And I'm telling them about it.

01:58:27.000 I'm building it up.

01:58:28.000 They're like, you know, begrudgingly going.

01:58:31.000 They're all vegetarians.

01:58:32.000 They just love nature.

01:58:33.000 They just love whatever.

01:58:34.000 So I'm like, you're going to love Yosemite.

01:58:36.000 As soon as we drove into the park, welcome to Yosemite.

01:58:39.000 I ran over a squirrel.

01:58:44.000 The horror inside the car.

01:58:46.000 Dad, you didn't even slow down.

01:58:49.000 What's wrong? 1.00

01:58:49.000 You're a monster. 1.00

01:58:51.000 I'm like, I can't. 1.00

01:58:52.000 It's two lanes.

01:58:53.000 There's a guy behind me, a guy in front.

01:58:55.000 I just would steamroll the squirrel.

01:58:59.000 They ruined the whole weekend.

01:59:00.000 Anytime I'd be like, look at this.

01:59:02.000 Look at this beautiful view.

01:59:04.000 You killed a squirrel.

01:59:07.000 You didn't even care.

01:59:08.000 That's the weird part, Dad.

01:59:09.000 You didn't even care.

01:59:11.000 Is that what they're saying?

01:59:12.000 Yeah.

01:59:13.000 Was I supposed to cry?

01:59:14.000 I was just laughing. 1.00

01:59:15.000 Cry like a bitch? 1.00

01:59:15.000 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

01:59:17.000 But that's funny, because if you killed a deer, you'd be sadder, right?

01:59:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:59:21.000 God damn it. 1.00

01:59:22.000 I can't believe that. 1.00

01:59:23.000 I can't believe how beautiful she is.

01:59:25.000 She was so nice with her little eyes and the little tail. 1.00

01:59:29.000 But if you kill a peccary... 0.99

01:59:32.000 Yeah, if you're killing them javelinas. 1.00

01:59:33.000 Like that fucking rat thing. 1.00

01:59:35.000 It'll find its mom. 1.00

01:59:36.000 That javelina would ruin your car. 1.00

01:59:37.000 That bitch, too. 1.00

01:59:38.000 Bite your teeth. 1.00

01:59:39.000 It'll probably use its teeth to tear your tires apart. 1.00

01:59:43.000 Then you'd be stuck in the side of the road trying to change the tire.

01:59:45.000 You'd turn around, there's a whole pack of them closing in on you.

01:59:49.000 Would you not take your family because of all of this revenge?

01:59:52.000 Do you not want them in the woods with you?

01:59:55.000 What am I, a danger in the woods?

01:59:56.000 Would I become a werewolf? 1.00

01:59:57.000 What the fuck am I saying? 1.00

01:59:59.000 You just gotta stay in the tent tonight, trust me! 0.99

02:00:03.000 I'll be right back.

02:00:04.000 Not that you're the threat.

02:00:05.000 Run.

02:00:06.000 That you'd have to protect them from all the threats.

02:00:09.000 Well, I mean, Yosemite doesn't have that many threats other than people.

02:00:14.000 Bears?

02:00:15.000 They have black bears.

02:00:18.000 Mountain lions?

02:00:19.000 Mountain lions are an issue.

02:00:21.000 There's always something out there.

02:00:23.000 Yeah.

02:00:25.000 Grizzly bears.

02:00:25.000 Or you just don't feel like that's a...

02:00:27.000 Because you like going out into nature.

02:00:29.000 I do.

02:00:29.000 I do like going into nature.

02:00:31.000 I also like being indoors.

02:00:33.000 Like sleeping in a place where it's awesome to sleep. 1.00

02:00:36.000 People wiser than me have figured out that that maneuver is called a bed with a roof and a locked door and a refrigerator, you fucking cave person. 0.99

02:00:46.000 Oh, I'm going to rough it. 0.99

02:00:47.000 I'm going to sleep on the ground.

02:00:48.000 You don't have to.

02:00:49.000 Did you know that?

02:00:50.000 You don't have to sleep in a house?

02:00:51.000 Yeah, but when you go hunting and stuff, don't you sleep in the woods?

02:00:54.000 Sometimes.

02:00:55.000 Most of the time, no.

02:00:56.000 I'm going to have.

02:00:56.000 Oh, you don't?

02:00:57.000 You go back and sleep?

02:00:58.000 Depends on what guys I go with.

02:01:00.000 Right.

02:01:00.000 Like if I go with Steve Rinello, we almost always go camping.

02:01:03.000 Uh-huh.

02:01:04.000 Except for when we're at our friend Doug Duren's place, which is, he lives in Wisconsin, and he's got a giant farm where we hunt deer on, hunt deer on there.

02:01:14.000 And that place, he's got a cool little, like a deer hunting house.

02:01:20.000 Oh, yeah?

02:01:20.000 That's near the...

02:01:21.000 Yeah.

02:01:22.000 Like a cabin?

02:01:23.000 It's like a house.

02:01:24.000 Oh, nice.

02:01:25.000 It's a small house that everybody...

02:01:28.000 Like, sleeps in different spots there, yeah.

02:01:30.000 Right, right.

02:01:30.000 That's great.

02:01:32.000 Yeah, I'd like to take my kids camping.

02:01:34.000 There's something nice about sleeping in the woods and hearing nature.

02:01:37.000 Sure, something cool about it.

02:01:38.000 Yeah.

02:01:39.000 You know what else is cool?

02:01:39.000 Not getting eaten.

02:01:41.000 HBO. Yeah.

02:01:43.000 Take a shower in the morning.

02:01:44.000 That's nice.

02:01:46.000 Yeah, you've got a point.

02:01:49.000 Coffee, that's the big thing.

02:01:50.000 Yeah.

02:01:51.000 Look, there's nothing better than a campfire.

02:01:53.000 I know.

02:01:54.000 Hanging out, especially at the end of a long day of hiking.

02:01:58.000 Yeah, the best.

02:01:59.000 And then you've got a campfire, and if you get one of those little grates over the campfire, you start cooking, cooking over the campfire.

02:02:05.000 Oh, it's the best.

02:02:06.000 It's one of the best things in life.

02:02:07.000 I know.

02:02:08.000 And I feel like my kids don't have that connection.

02:02:11.000 Do you worry about being with them in the woods?

02:02:13.000 Yeah, a little bit.

02:02:14.000 If anybody gets hurt, it's hard to get out?

02:02:16.000 Yeah, and just that, you know...

02:02:19.000 It's like if you and I went, we're both responsible for it.

02:02:21.000 We'd help each other out, but you got your act together.

02:02:24.000 What?

02:02:24.000 I'm going to leave you alone.

02:02:24.000 I'm sorry, what?

02:02:25.000 I'm going to leave you alone.

02:02:26.000 Say that again?

02:02:26.000 Yeah, I just, I can't.

02:02:31.000 I cannot.

02:02:32.000 Imagine if two guys are planning a camping trip, like, hey, we're going to look out for each other.

02:02:37.000 I'm going to leave you behind.

02:02:38.000 I'm going to tell you right now.

02:02:39.000 I'm willing to go camping with you, but I'm not.

02:02:41.000 I can't handle any adversity.

02:02:43.000 I will fall apart.

02:02:45.000 Just don't.

02:02:47.000 Where are you going?

02:02:48.000 And we're not going in too far.

02:02:49.000 I will walk one mile.

02:02:51.000 When the alarm goes off, we're going to go one mile.

02:02:54.000 We can't.

02:02:58.000 Dude, seriously?

02:02:59.000 You're not going to help me out?

02:03:00.000 No.

02:03:01.000 I'll call somebody when I get home.

02:03:04.000 He's back there a mile.

02:03:05.000 Something like a mile.

02:03:07.000 Just swallow the blood.

02:03:10.000 He's got a backpack full of Slim Jims.

02:03:12.000 He'll be alright.

02:03:14.000 It'll be good.

02:03:15.000 He's got enough food on him. 0.86

02:03:16.000 Well, I left him one liter of my piss.

02:03:20.000 He can drink that. 0.98

02:03:21.000 Just on his leg where I peed. 0.89

02:03:25.000 What a horrible camping companion.

02:03:27.000 I've got good news and bad news.

02:03:28.000 The bad news is I don't have any water.

02:03:31.000 The good news is I have to pee.

02:03:33.000 So, what do you want to do?

02:03:34.000 Open your mouth. 1.00

02:03:36.000 You want to die? 1.00

02:03:36.000 You want me to fill up your Nalgene bottle? 1.00

02:03:40.000 Awful.

02:03:41.000 No, but if you go with your kids and you're like, you're responsible for everybody and everything.

02:03:45.000 That's pretty, yeah.

02:03:47.000 Maybe just a hike.

02:03:48.000 Well, there's nothing wrong with camping with your kids.

02:03:50.000 It's a good idea.

02:03:51.000 If you really are going to go camping, you definitely should bring first aid and definitely bring a satellite phone.

02:03:57.000 And you can camp in places that you're not backcountry a mile in.

02:04:02.000 You could just pull up, walk 200 feet. 1.00

02:04:05.000 Or get yourself a fucking Airstream, son. 1.00

02:04:07.000 Pull that bitch behind a truck. 1.00

02:04:09.000 Park. 1.00

02:04:09.000 Turn the generator on. 1.00

02:04:12.000 Satellite TV. Yeehaw!

02:04:14.000 That would be fun.

02:04:15.000 You can rent those things.

02:04:17.000 You can rent those and just get Fox News in the middle of the forest.

02:04:20.000 Tucker Carlson's right!

02:04:22.000 Yelling out the window to deer.

02:04:26.000 Making friends.

02:04:32.000 I think I would like to load them up in an RV kind of situation.

02:04:36.000 Go see the Grand Canyon.

02:04:38.000 Go through Utah.

02:04:39.000 Vacation.

02:04:39.000 Yeah.

02:04:40.000 Like Chevy Chase.

02:04:41.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:04:42.000 I think that could be fun.

02:04:44.000 Two more people just died in the Grand Canyon.

02:04:46.000 What?

02:04:46.000 Fell.

02:04:47.000 Yeah.

02:04:47.000 Really?

02:04:48.000 Yeah.

02:04:49.000 Why?

02:04:49.000 They're not doing the railings?

02:04:51.000 I don't know.

02:04:52.000 I don't know what happened.

02:04:53.000 I just read two more people just fell to their death in the Grand Canyon.

02:04:57.000 Really?

02:04:57.000 Let's see if you find out what's going on.

02:04:59.000 That was one of the first hikes I did with my father.

02:05:01.000 We're doing the switchbacks.

02:05:03.000 What'd you say, Jim?

02:05:04.000 I don't know if there's a reason why.

02:05:05.000 One guy just got too close and slipped.

02:05:07.000 I need to know.

02:05:09.000 Slipped off the edge.

02:05:10.000 Stopped falling.

02:05:11.000 If I had Google Glass, I'd have known already.

02:05:13.000 Yeah, if I had that memory link wire thing that Jamie's worried about.

02:05:18.000 Jamie's going to be the first one to get it, and then he's going to organize to make sure that no one else gets it.

02:05:22.000 My thought on that, too, is who is going to be the first one to get it, and how do they decide that?

02:05:27.000 Well, for sure, like...

02:05:29.000 Money.

02:05:29.000 Marcus Brownlee and Lou from Unbox Therapy, they'll get it first, and they'll put it on, and then they'll start running the world because they'll have it early.

02:05:37.000 And they go, ah, no one else gets this.

02:05:39.000 They'll try.

02:05:40.000 But Mark Zuckerberg probably already has it.

02:05:42.000 You don't want to know what I'm doing.

02:05:43.000 He's probably using it right now.

02:05:43.000 Yeah.

02:05:44.000 Trying to fend his case.

02:05:49.000 Yeah, it's coming.

02:05:52.000 Something's coming.

02:05:53.000 Yeah, man.

02:05:54.000 What's it going to be?

02:05:54.000 Who knows?

02:05:56.000 What's it going to be?

02:05:57.000 Something's coming, and something's going to be more invasive than what we're experiencing now.

02:06:01.000 That's all you can be sure of.

02:06:02.000 You're going to figure out how to get more and more data.

02:06:04.000 Sam Harris has a really interesting podcast that's out.

02:06:08.000 It's either the one that's going on maybe two weeks ago, and it was all about...

02:06:14.000 I should probably find it.

02:06:15.000 It was all about...

02:06:18.000 Privacy?

02:06:19.000 Privacy and what's the difference between the way different tech companies approach privacy.

02:06:25.000 It actually makes you respect how Apple does it.

02:06:28.000 Oh, yeah?

02:06:28.000 Yeah.

02:06:29.000 I mean, apparently, they do it much more, I guess the word would be, they're more ethical about it.

02:06:37.000 They're trying not to give away any, the trouble with Facebook is what it's called.

02:06:42.000 I was reading a thing yesterday that, you know, you put those doorbell things on, you know, like Ring, you know, that records people coming up to you.

02:06:49.000 And they said, you know, you think it's cool for you and your family, but the UPS guy, all these delivery people are getting their picture taken and sent to a database every day.

02:07:01.000 Like these people are being monitored all the time.

02:07:04.000 So while it's good for you, it's not that great for these other people that visit you.

02:07:08.000 This guy's name is Roger McNamee.

02:07:10.000 It's The Trouble of Facebook.

02:07:12.000 It's episode 152. It's very interesting because what it goes into is about how tech companies figured out how to tap into a resource that no one thought of.

02:07:25.000 And that resource is your data.

02:07:27.000 And how much is that worth? 0.96

02:07:28.000 Well, it turns out it's worth fucking untold billions. 0.97

02:07:31.000 Right. 0.94

02:07:31.000 It's one of the most valuable things, because you can direct market to people, you can find out what people are into and what they're not into. 0.94

02:07:37.000 You get a lot of people that you can get a hold of.

02:07:40.000 And we kind of gave our consent to this without understanding it.

02:07:45.000 And they got in through a loophole, and this is how...

02:07:49.000 They're able to make ungodly amounts of money.

02:07:52.000 Just because we wanted to have that cool feature, so you just say, yeah, take it from me.

02:07:57.000 I mean, think about the amount of money something like Facebook brings in versus what it is.

02:08:01.000 Like, what is it?

02:08:02.000 What are you doing?

02:08:03.000 What are you doing that's making all that money?

02:08:04.000 Right.

02:08:05.000 They're providing people with data.

02:08:07.000 Yeah.

02:08:08.000 And they're also getting people to – it's like an ongoing psychological experiment In what makes people engage.

02:08:17.000 Like, what makes people comment more.

02:08:19.000 It turns out it's anger.

02:08:21.000 Oh, really?

02:08:22.000 Yeah.

02:08:23.000 It turns out that what makes people engage the most is things they disagree with.

02:08:27.000 When they start having fights.

02:08:29.000 So, they're having fights back and forth.

02:08:31.000 So, you get people to get really into these polarizing subjects.

02:08:36.000 And then, once they start looking for those subjects, then those subjects start showing up in their feeds.

02:08:42.000 So it's all sorts of things that they get angry about.

02:08:44.000 So then they start interacting with these things.

02:08:45.000 The more you interact, the more it shows up in your feed.

02:08:48.000 And all the while, they're profiting on enraging you.

02:08:53.000 Oh my god.

02:08:54.000 I mean, this is essentially what they do.

02:08:56.000 Creepy Facebook patent uses image recognition to scan your personal photos for brands.

02:09:02.000 Oh my god.

02:09:03.000 Whoa.

02:09:04.000 Yeah, so they just take all your photos and look at the Dorito bags in the back?

02:09:08.000 Applying computer vision algorithms to user-uploaded multimedia objects to detect specific objects within the multimedia object and promoting the uploaded multimedia object from a user's news feed to a sponsored stories area.

02:09:24.000 That's what the patent was awarded for.

02:09:27.000 Wow.

02:09:29.000 Jeez Louise.

02:09:30.000 Computer vision content detection for sponsored stories.

02:09:34.000 Wow.

02:09:35.000 That's crazy, man.

02:09:36.000 Yeah.

02:09:37.000 You snap a selfie sipping a unicorn frap at Starbucks and then shares that selfie on Facebook or Instagram.

02:09:44.000 Facebook's newly patented technology can theoretically scan the photo, spot the Starbucks cup with the help of an image object recognition algorithm, and then sell that info to Starbucks.

02:09:56.000 Alerting the coffee giant of the fact that you like its product.

02:09:59.000 Well, they're already doing a version of that with your searches.

02:10:03.000 With the things you're looking at.

02:10:04.000 You know, when you go through their browser, they're already doing that.

02:10:07.000 Well, they're doing it also with voice.

02:10:09.000 Your phone is listening to you all the time.

02:10:11.000 If you have Alexa in your home, it's listening.

02:10:14.000 My kids, we do it all the time.

02:10:16.000 Like, if you're talking about something and then all of a sudden you see, I was performing in Boise.

02:10:21.000 And so we were talking about Boise, Boise, Boise, and then everybody on their Instagram was getting an ad for vacationing in Boise.

02:10:29.000 See, that seems like...

02:10:30.000 Just from us speaking it.

02:10:31.000 Yeah.

02:10:31.000 That seems like a really serious thing.

02:10:35.000 It is!

02:10:35.000 It seems like a really serious thing that everybody's just like, oh, this is happening?

02:10:39.000 Yeah.

02:10:39.000 I don't remember signing off on this.

02:10:40.000 The technology's ahead of our anger.

02:10:42.000 Or our recognition of it.

02:10:44.000 Yeah.

02:10:44.000 We don't understand.

02:10:45.000 And so it's already happened by the time you're upset that it exists.

02:10:49.000 Right.

02:10:50.000 Yeah, it's in full force right now.

02:10:53.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:10:54.000 Yeah, it's really weird.

02:10:55.000 It's really weird.

02:10:56.000 It's really weird.

02:10:57.000 And we're just talking about it.

02:10:59.000 This is just, we think it's your, just in your home, you're in a private place.

02:11:04.000 Yeah.

02:11:05.000 But these phones, they're just, you know, we just all have them.

02:11:08.000 And again, this is something that didn't exist 10 years ago, 15 years ago.

02:11:12.000 These concerns didn't exist.

02:11:14.000 What will be the concerns 15 years from now?

02:11:16.000 Like, how much more invasive is it going to get before we even recognize that it's happening?

02:11:21.000 Yeah.

02:11:21.000 Because this is something, the listening in on things, is something that people didn't think about before it happened.

02:11:27.000 Right.

02:11:27.000 Now they know it does.

02:11:29.000 Well, the face recognition thing is there's a lot of articles on that and how that we don't realize.

02:11:35.000 Well, the China thing totally makes sense, right?

02:11:37.000 Especially if so many people's phones use face recognition software.

02:11:41.000 Samsung phones have it.

02:11:43.000 My Galaxy Note 9 has it.

02:11:46.000 iPhones have it.

02:11:47.000 And you're psyched about it.

02:11:49.000 You're just like, oh, that's cool.

02:11:50.000 I don't have to put in my password anymore.

02:11:51.000 Just look at it.

02:11:52.000 Now I'm in my app.

02:11:54.000 They also have one that's an iris scanner on the Note.

02:11:57.000 The Note scans your irises.

02:11:59.000 Oh, really?

02:11:59.000 Yeah.

02:12:01.000 Bro.

02:12:02.000 It's quick, too.

02:12:03.000 Looks at your eyeballs like, yep, you're you.

02:12:05.000 Jeez Louise. 1.00

02:12:06.000 How the fuck do you know, man? 0.99

02:12:07.000 What does that say, Jamie? 0.99

02:12:08.000 Jamie.

02:12:09.000 I was trying to find this the first time you brought it up, but I know that there's these masks that exist that are, in quotes, like hyper-realistic masks that can be used to, I don't know if it's, this isn't used to help the facial recognition, but I think people are using them to trick it and do fake stuff, and like, you know,

02:12:25.000 I don't know if you could commit a robbery with that on, and it's just like having a ski mask on now, they just can't see your face, but it'll think something.

02:12:31.000 Right, if you had a hoodie on.

02:12:32.000 Yeah.

02:12:33.000 What about a minority report?

02:12:34.000 Remember when they had to pull his eye, they were selling eyeballs on the black market for the eye scan to get into buildings and stuff?

02:12:40.000 All you would have to do with that is put like a bandana around your mouth, right?

02:12:45.000 Yeah.

02:12:45.000 So no one could see your mouth moving.

02:12:47.000 Have that thing on.

02:12:49.000 And sunglasses.

02:12:49.000 Yeah.

02:12:50.000 But even my iPhone gets through my sunglasses, which I don't know how the fuck it does that, but it definitely does it.

02:12:55.000 But it's facial recognition.

02:12:57.000 But what I'm saying is with this, if you wanted to rob someone and have something, even the facial recognition software would legitimately think you were somebody else.

02:13:09.000 Hopefully.

02:13:11.000 Hopefully, for when we're doing our crime.

02:13:13.000 Yeah, when we're trying to rob someone.

02:13:15.000 Or hopefully not. 0.84

02:13:16.000 Are you guys criminals? 0.99

02:13:19.000 It's crazy.

02:13:20.000 It's kind of happened.

02:13:21.000 But it's so fast, too.

02:13:23.000 I mean, you know, this is so new.

02:13:25.000 Also, the special effects technology that allows people to make faces.

02:13:29.000 Look how beautiful those things look.

02:13:32.000 They look so close to a person.

02:13:34.000 You can buy these for $200.

02:13:36.000 You can buy one?

02:13:37.000 We should do it.

02:13:37.000 Let's get one.

02:13:39.000 I'm going to get you.

02:13:40.000 Cool.

02:13:40.000 I should buy you and then see if I can open up your phone.

02:13:44.000 Yeah.

02:13:44.000 Bro, that would be crazy.

02:13:45.000 That would be cool.

02:13:47.000 That would be crazy.

02:13:48.000 See if it can open up your phone.

02:13:49.000 It looks super creepy, but...

02:13:51.000 Oh, that's so weird.

02:13:53.000 Ew, he looks like a demon.

02:13:54.000 Yeah, if they could add a little latex to it, it could be movable.

02:13:57.000 Wow, that looks pretty real, though.

02:13:59.000 I mean, you know, a little creepy, but that looks pretty accurate.

02:14:02.000 That's crazy accurate.

02:14:03.000 I wouldn't look twice walking down the street.

02:14:05.000 You wouldn't even think about it.

02:14:06.000 No, you'd be like, that guy has a good shave.

02:14:08.000 It's a beautiful person.

02:14:10.000 His skin's so smooth.

02:14:11.000 Yeah, he's like a baby's bottom.

02:14:14.000 So poly.

02:14:16.000 What?

02:14:17.000 It was started off that'smyface.com and it's now been switched to whatever this is.

02:14:22.000 You're me.

02:14:22.000 Surveillance.

02:14:23.000 That's just creepy.

02:14:24.000 Do you guys know, is there a problem with doing any of those 23andMe ancestry things?

02:14:31.000 You're going to have your DNA, bro.

02:14:32.000 The government. 1.00

02:14:34.000 The Illuminati is going to check your fucking spit. 1.00

02:14:37.000 Do they? 1.00

02:14:38.000 Is it bad to do?

02:14:39.000 I don't know.

02:14:39.000 Should they not do it?

02:14:40.000 What are they going to do with it?

02:14:41.000 Are they going to clone me?

02:14:42.000 Who cares, bro?

02:14:43.000 If they want your DNA, they can get it just by touching your clothes, getting a hold of your stuff.

02:14:47.000 They can get a hold of you.

02:14:49.000 They can find out all sorts of stuff from hair samples, behind hair.

02:14:54.000 If you drink a Starbucks and then they grab your cup, they can get a DNA sample off your cup.

02:15:00.000 Someone can get your DNA sample.

02:15:02.000 Right, so it doesn't really matter.

02:15:03.000 So if I want to find out if I'm Greek or Italian.

02:15:06.000 I should find out.

02:15:07.000 I should find out.

02:15:07.000 Yeah, it's pretty comprehensive.

02:15:08.000 Have you done it?

02:15:09.000 Yeah, I've done it.

02:15:10.000 Oh yeah?

02:15:10.000 Yeah, it's interesting.

02:15:11.000 It gives you a lot of other weird stuff too, like that you might have certain genes for certain proclivities, even including lactose intolerance, propensity to alcohol.

02:15:22.000 Really?

02:15:23.000 Alcoholism.

02:15:23.000 Yeah.

02:15:25.000 Super athletes have certain muscle genes.

02:15:28.000 You should find out if you have those genes.

02:15:30.000 Like power athletes.

02:15:31.000 Like almost an extraordinary number of ones that are successful in certain sports.

02:15:36.000 Oh really?

02:15:36.000 Yeah.

02:15:37.000 A type of gene.

02:15:38.000 Yeah.

02:15:39.000 And it gives you all this or you have to specify that?

02:15:41.000 It gives that.

02:15:41.000 Yeah.

02:15:42.000 It's a really detailed report.

02:15:43.000 Oh wow.

02:15:44.000 Yeah.

02:15:44.000 It's really detailed and covers all sorts of different categories.

02:15:48.000 Yeah.

02:15:49.000 Interesting.

02:15:49.000 It's cool too and you find out like weird stuff, you know.

02:15:52.000 What part of Europe your parents were from.

02:15:56.000 Maybe you have some Asian in you you didn't know you had.

02:15:59.000 It's really cool.

02:16:01.000 That's cool.

02:16:02.000 It's cool.

02:16:03.000 It makes you really think, to get here, in 2019, what had to happen with all the people in the past, and if you keep going back, I have a little bit of Asian in me.

02:16:18.000 I think it was like 1% or something like that, but I'm thinking, where'd that come from?

02:16:21.000 Where was that?

02:16:22.000 Is that why you like jiu-jitsu?

02:16:24.000 I don't think so.

02:16:25.000 I think a lot of people just like jiu-jitsu, bro.

02:16:28.000 Is that why you like sushi?

02:16:30.000 I don't think it's that Asia.

02:16:32.000 I think I'm from a different Asia, but I don't know.

02:16:35.000 I think, you know, if you could really...

02:16:38.000 So somebody, though, went through Asia, hooked up with somebody.

02:16:41.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:16:42.000 But what I'm saying is, I think that if you look at what technology was available, like 200 years ago for finding Ancestry, people didn't even know if that was their kid 50 years ago.

02:16:53.000 Right, exactly.

02:16:54.000 50 years ago, you had to guess, you know?

02:16:55.000 Yeah.

02:16:56.000 I mean, maybe they had paternity tests 50 years ago, did they?

02:16:59.000 Like, just trying to find your roots, like, back in Italy, you just have to go find, like, Town Hall and see if there's a book with your great-grandfather's name in it.

02:17:06.000 Yeah, but I mean, you didn't even know if your dad was really your dad, if your mom was a hoe. 1.00

02:17:10.000 Well, I knew that.

02:17:10.000 I knew that.

02:17:11.000 Around sixth grade, I figured that out.

02:17:15.000 But if you wanted to know a hundred years ago, if you were the father of someone's child, you had to look at the kid and go, the kid looks like me.

02:17:22.000 Yeah.

02:17:22.000 Or convince yourself that the kid looks like you.

02:17:24.000 Right.

02:17:24.000 Or convince yourself the kid just got your wife's features, but it's still your kid.

02:17:27.000 Yeah.

02:17:28.000 Right?

02:17:28.000 But now you can actually get DNA tests done.

02:17:30.000 And be like, ooh. 1.00

02:17:31.000 You know what the coldest, hardest shit is? 0.99

02:17:33.000 When you find out that it's not your kid, but you still have to pay child support. 1.00

02:17:37.000 Because you've been paying child support.

02:17:39.000 And you still have to?

02:17:40.000 Yep.

02:17:40.000 If the DNA confirms that he's not?

02:17:42.000 It's in different states.

02:17:43.000 There's different rules.

02:17:44.000 Wow.

02:17:44.000 But I believe that's how it is in California.

02:17:46.000 And I believe that's how it is in several other states.

02:17:49.000 Oof.

02:17:49.000 Where if it turns out the young lady had strayed.

02:17:53.000 Oh, no. 0.99

02:17:54.000 And caught some side dick. 0.99

02:17:56.000 Ew. 0.99

02:17:57.000 Hey.

02:17:58.000 Hey! 0.99

02:17:59.000 Woo! 0.99

02:18:00.000 Gotta go!

02:18:01.000 And you gotta keep paying.

02:18:03.000 Yeah.

02:18:04.000 Oof.

02:18:05.000 Yeah.

02:18:05.000 That's not good.

02:18:06.000 You have to keep paying.

02:18:07.000 Even if you do a DNA test and you find out the child's not yours, I think once you have started paying, unless you might have to go to court and duke it out, but I don't think your payment obligation stops just because it's not your kid.

02:18:21.000 Oh, and what a weird shift, too.

02:18:22.000 If, like, you think it's this kid and you're supporting him, then to be switching your head like, no, I'm not going to help him anymore.

02:18:29.000 They didn't have testing, really, until the 80s.

02:18:32.000 Whoa.

02:18:33.000 Yeah.

02:18:33.000 Until the 80s.

02:18:34.000 Whoa.

02:18:35.000 It's a whole new world.

02:18:36.000 Whole new world.

02:18:39.000 Eek.

02:18:39.000 The OJ trial was one of the first ones.

02:18:41.000 People didn't really even believe it, remember?

02:18:42.000 That's kind of how he got off.

02:18:44.000 Oh, you're right.

02:18:45.000 That's right.

02:18:46.000 And they started to see us saying that they didn't know how to handle the samples.

02:18:49.000 Well, there was some funkiness with that, too.

02:18:53.000 Stepping all over it.

02:18:54.000 They didn't believe the one-in-a-trillion kind of numbers they were passing out.

02:18:58.000 Well, I think overzealous, aggressive people Like, police and detectives.

02:19:06.000 I think that's common.

02:19:07.000 I think that's as common as... 1.00

02:19:09.000 Did you see that fucking video? 0.99

02:19:10.000 Trying to make it happen. 1.00

02:19:10.000 The Tesla sentient mode. 1.00

02:19:12.000 Did you see that shit? 1.00

02:19:13.000 No. 1.00

02:19:14.000 You know, Tesla has a sentry mode and it caught some politician back in his Escalade into a Model 3 scuffing it up, getting out, looking at it, trying to rub it out, and then taking off.

02:19:26.000 And they called him up because they could see his face in the video and they knew who it was because this guy had been like a kind of prominent We're good to go.

02:19:53.000 That's funny.

02:19:54.000 Yeah.

02:19:55.000 Bonk.

02:19:56.000 Right into the Tesla.

02:19:57.000 This is the side camera that's always recording.

02:19:59.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:20:00.000 He just backed his stupid car into it. 1.00

02:20:03.000 That guy just doesn't know how to drive. 1.00

02:20:05.000 He might have been drunk.

02:20:06.000 Yeah.

02:20:09.000 Yeah, look at him.

02:20:09.000 He gets down, looks at it.

02:20:11.000 Alright, we don't have to...

02:20:12.000 Well, he tried to fix it. 1.00

02:20:13.000 He's in deep shit. 0.99

02:20:14.000 He tried to fix it. 1.00

02:20:15.000 The fuck he did. 0.99

02:20:16.000 He denied it when they called him. 1.00

02:20:17.000 Oh, they did?

02:20:18.000 Yeah, and apparently that guy had already been to jail for something else.

02:20:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:20:22.000 You're dirty. 1.00

02:20:23.000 Yeah, he, uh... 1.00

02:20:25.000 That's not good.

02:20:25.000 He might be.

02:20:28.000 That's hard, man.

02:20:29.000 I bumped into someone's car once and I left a note with my phone number and my address.

02:20:37.000 Nice.

02:20:37.000 Not my address, my phone number and my name.

02:20:40.000 And they called me up and they just so happened to be very good friends with someone who I was friends with.

02:20:47.000 Nice.

02:20:48.000 And then he calls me up and he tells me, dude, you hit my friend's car.

02:20:53.000 And he tells me, that's them.

02:20:55.000 I go tell them to call me, man.

02:20:56.000 That's cool.

02:20:57.000 Yeah.

02:20:57.000 It was noble.

02:20:58.000 Well, it wasn't bad, but it was something.

02:21:02.000 Yeah.

02:21:03.000 You know, it was like it was a little scuff on the bumper.

02:21:05.000 Right.

02:21:06.000 But I was like, oh, thank God I left a message.

02:21:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:10.000 I felt like such a piece of shit. 1.00

02:21:11.000 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

02:21:12.000 I was hanging out with my friend and he was like, man, some fucking asshole hit my friend's car and took off. 1.00

02:21:18.000 You believe that shit? 1.00

02:21:19.000 I'm like, no. 1.00

02:21:20.000 Crazy. 1.00

02:21:21.000 Bro, that's bullshit. 1.00

02:21:23.000 And now cameras have everybody doing everything. 1.00

02:21:25.000 So you'll always get busted.

02:21:27.000 Yeah.

02:21:27.000 When do you think it's going to be where...

02:21:29.000 You have a Tesla.

02:21:30.000 You know what those things do.

02:21:31.000 When do you think it's going to be where no one's driving?

02:21:33.000 How many more years?

02:21:36.000 Well, where a lot of people aren't driving.

02:21:38.000 20. Yeah, I would say 20 to 30. You remember when Priuses were a joke? 0.97

02:21:43.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:43.000 Someone had a Prius, like, get that fucking stupid thing away from me. 1.00

02:21:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:21:48.000 Or even the early Tesla, the Roadster. 1.00

02:21:50.000 Like, do you know that Top Gear, you know that British show Top Gear?

02:21:55.000 Yeah.

02:21:56.000 Here's what's crazy I found out.

02:21:57.000 They did an episode where they pretended that the Tesla Roadster died on them.

02:22:03.000 Yeah.

02:22:08.000 That's gross.

02:22:23.000 Believe it or not.

02:22:25.000 Jeez.

02:22:25.000 Because they don't claim to be...

02:22:27.000 Exactly.

02:22:27.000 They don't claim to be factual, and they don't claim to not have narratives that they create.

02:22:35.000 That's so gross.

02:22:36.000 Pull that up, just to make sure that I'm not...

02:22:38.000 That's gross.

02:22:39.000 It's pretty gross. 0.82

02:22:40.000 It's amazing how many shots that they take.

02:22:42.000 Elon Musk called Top Gear completely phony, and his company sued for libel and malicious falsehoods.

02:22:47.000 A judge dismissed the suit in October, saying no viewer of the program could have reasonably compared the Roadster's performance on the track to a real-world performance on the street.

02:22:56.000 That seems fuzzy.

02:22:57.000 I don't know what that means.

02:22:58.000 Yeah.

02:22:59.000 Okay, what is...

02:23:00.000 2012, that was.

02:23:02.000 What is the case...

02:23:03.000 He said...

02:23:04.000 What Elon Musk said was that they faked it.

02:23:09.000 And they claim the power...

02:23:11.000 Tesla...

02:23:11.000 Okay, let's see what it says so we can figure out.

02:23:13.000 I think...

02:23:14.000 I'm pretty sure that's the story.

02:23:17.000 After Tesla dropped the car off, Elon Musk claimed that one of his employees was along for the delivery notice that a script for the episode, inside there was a segment about the Tesla breaking down.

02:23:25.000 But that was only the tip of the iceberg.

02:23:27.000 Top Gear claimed that the Tesla Roadster ran out of power while driving after just 55 miles, much less than the 200 miles quoted by Tesla, albeit it was being driven hard, a claim that Musk said was untrue.

02:23:39.000 According to him, the Roadster's logs showed that the car had never dipped below 20% charge during the entirety of the filming.

02:24:03.000 Ah ha ha!

02:24:05.000 Interesting.

02:24:06.000 Isn't it amazing?

02:24:07.000 It sounds like there was some horseshit for sure, but it does sound like there was a real brake problem.

02:24:12.000 And the brake problem was a blown fuse, which there's nothing you can do about that.

02:24:16.000 But just that, it's such a strange thing.

02:24:19.000 Yeah.

02:24:20.000 You just have to attack electric cars.

02:24:22.000 Well, I think them making a script, if they had a script that said that Tesla was going to break down, they thought it would be funny.

02:24:30.000 It's a comedy bit.

02:24:31.000 It's a comedy show. 0.98

02:24:32.000 Jeremy Clarkson was fucking hilarious. 0.98

02:24:34.000 He's really funny. 0.98

02:24:35.000 Yeah, but there is definitely people that are...

02:24:39.000 Yeah, you believe a lot of the stuff that they say and the performance of the car.

02:24:43.000 I always thought it was funny, but I also saw them as experts.

02:24:49.000 Well, they kind of are. 1.00

02:24:50.000 I mean, they know a lot of shit. 1.00

02:24:53.000 They know a lot of shit about cars, for sure. 1.00

02:24:55.000 Jeremy Clarkson knows a lot about cars. 1.00

02:24:57.000 The problem is people go to them. 0.98

02:24:59.000 For advice and lap times and all that shit. 0.97

02:25:02.000 And if you're saying a car is breaking down, you engineered that into a script. 0.99

02:25:05.000 It's pretty dirty.

02:25:06.000 That is dirty.

02:25:07.000 Well, that's how Sean Hannity gets away with saying that he's not a news program.

02:25:11.000 Does he get away with that?

02:25:12.000 Yeah.

02:25:12.000 So he's like WWE of news?

02:25:13.000 Yeah.

02:25:14.000 He says it's entertainment.

02:25:16.000 Really?

02:25:16.000 He says that?

02:25:17.000 Yeah.

02:25:18.000 Oh, dude, that's hilarious.

02:25:19.000 That's why you have a little out.

02:25:21.000 We're not a news program.

02:25:22.000 We don't claim to be.

02:25:24.000 He says that?

02:25:25.000 Yeah.

02:25:25.000 Well, a lot of people are coming into you thinking it's news.

02:25:28.000 But isn't he a commentary program?

02:25:32.000 Isn't that what they say?

02:25:33.000 It's not that he's news.

02:25:34.000 He says it's entertainment.

02:25:36.000 Oh.

02:25:36.000 Yeah.

02:25:37.000 Do you find it entertaining?

02:25:39.000 No.

02:25:40.000 No?

02:25:40.000 You should sue.

02:25:41.000 I should sue.

02:25:42.000 You should sue.

02:25:43.000 Oh, I could do that.

02:25:43.000 He says it's entertaining.

02:25:44.000 He's a liar. 0.77

02:25:45.000 It's not that entertaining. 0.99

02:25:46.000 I didn't find it entertaining.

02:25:47.000 Sue! 1.00

02:25:48.000 Sue! 1.00

02:25:48.000 I'm going to sue them and the Game of Thrones people. 1.00

02:25:51.000 I hate dragons!

02:25:53.000 Sue! 1.00

02:25:55.000 Those aren't real dragons. 1.00

02:25:57.000 Those dragons are dope as fuck. 1.00

02:25:58.000 Did you watch last night? 1.00

02:25:59.000 I didn't.

02:26:00.000 I did.

02:26:01.000 Was it good?

02:26:01.000 Spoiler alert, it was awesome.

02:26:03.000 It was awesome just to see everything.

02:26:04.000 I just want to see it.

02:26:05.000 I just was happy to see a new episode.

02:26:07.000 I'm going to be so sad when that show gets cancelled. 0.92

02:26:09.000 I'm such a dork.

02:26:10.000 You've watched it all the way up? 0.97

02:26:11.000 I'm talking about doing the prequel or the beginning of it.

02:26:14.000 That would be cool.

02:26:15.000 But they haven't. 0.99

02:26:16.000 Hey man, whoever the fucking people are that are doing it, just keep doing things. 0.98

02:26:21.000 Whoever those people that are writing and producing it and putting it together, and keep hiring those actors to play different people. 0.99

02:26:26.000 I don't care.

02:26:26.000 I lost my way after like maybe three seasons.

02:26:29.000 How many seasons has it been on?

02:26:30.000 Like five. 1.00

02:26:31.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

02:26:31.000 You lost your way. 1.00

02:26:32.000 Go back and start from scratch.

02:26:34.000 I can't learn all the names of these places and the make-believe things and the whatevers.

02:26:42.000 How much do I have to know, Joe?

02:26:44.000 I know.

02:26:45.000 You know how to make bread.

02:26:46.000 Just keep making the delicious bread.

02:26:47.000 I do.

02:26:48.000 And you're doing your part.

02:26:49.000 Keep it simple.

02:26:50.000 Yeah.

02:26:50.000 A martini, a little bread.

02:26:52.000 A little run at the bar.

02:26:53.000 Just live your life.

02:26:54.000 A little jog.

02:26:55.000 How much?

02:26:56.000 Why do I have to? 0.99

02:26:56.000 What the fuck? 0.99

02:26:57.000 Why do I have to control everything? 1.00

02:26:59.000 Too much.

02:26:59.000 I would like to.

02:27:00.000 Enough.

02:27:01.000 I'll catch back up with it.

02:27:03.000 Yeah.

02:27:04.000 It's good, right?

02:27:05.000 People like it.

02:27:05.000 So you're going to let this whole season play by without you being caught up?

02:27:09.000 I almost last night was just going to watch, just jump in.

02:27:14.000 Who cares if I lost?

02:27:15.000 Is there any show that you never...

02:27:16.000 Please tell me you gave up on The Walking Dead.

02:27:19.000 Yes.

02:27:20.000 Thank you.

02:27:21.000 Yeah.

02:27:22.000 I stopped that one.

02:27:23.000 Is there any show that you haven't given up on?

02:27:25.000 That you've been steadfast?

02:27:27.000 That I... What do you mean?

02:27:29.000 That you binge?

02:27:29.000 That you still watch?

02:27:31.000 That you haven't quit?

02:27:32.000 No, there's none that I'm currently watching.

02:27:35.000 I just watched Russian Doll.

02:27:36.000 What is that?

02:27:37.000 That's on Netflix.

02:27:38.000 That was good.

02:27:39.000 Oh, that girl's like an assassin or something? 1.00

02:27:40.000 No, she dies every episode. 1.00

02:27:44.000 It's like Groundhog Day.

02:27:45.000 Really?

02:27:46.000 Yeah, it was pretty good.

02:27:47.000 And I've seen all the big ones.

02:27:49.000 I don't know.

02:27:50.000 Ozark?

02:27:51.000 Ozark, yeah.

02:27:52.000 One season of it.

02:27:54.000 You didn't watch season two?

02:27:55.000 No.

02:27:55.000 Was I supposed to?

02:27:59.000 I don't know how you just shut it off.

02:28:01.000 You don't want to know what happened?

02:28:02.000 I don't know.

02:28:03.000 I forget.

02:28:08.000 It's already three o'clock.

02:28:11.000 It's three o'clock in the afternoon.

02:28:15.000 How did the time fly in this conversation?

02:28:17.000 Did we start?

02:28:18.000 When did we start?

02:28:18.000 12.30.

02:28:19.000 12.30.

02:28:21.000 Yeah, something like that.

02:28:22.000 Three o'clock.

02:28:24.000 Tell the fine people where you're at, my brother.

02:28:26.000 I am going to Boston.

02:28:29.000 Where are you slinging jokes, Tom?

02:28:32.000 I'm going to Northampton.

02:28:34.000 What are you doing in Boston?

02:28:36.000 City Winery.

02:28:37.000 Oh, what is that?

02:28:38.000 It's this elegant winery place.

02:28:41.000 And they have stand-up there now?

02:28:42.000 They have stand-up there.

02:28:43.000 Wow.

02:28:44.000 Mostly bands. 1.00

02:28:45.000 No shit. 1.00

02:28:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:28:47.000 Okay.

02:28:47.000 Doing a bunch of those kind of things.

02:28:48.000 And it's actually a winery?

02:28:49.000 A real winery?

02:28:50.000 Yeah, they make their own wine.

02:28:52.000 Whoa.

02:28:52.000 In Boston.

02:28:53.000 That's cool.

02:28:54.000 Yeah, it's really cool.

02:28:55.000 My friend's honey-honey played at a winery once. 0.99

02:28:57.000 I was like, this is the coolest shit ever. 0.98

02:28:58.000 Yeah, it's pretty cool. 0.99

02:29:00.000 I'm going to do Napa.

02:29:01.000 I'm going to do something up in Napa, another wine spot.

02:29:04.000 Yeah, that's where they were.

02:29:05.000 Oh yeah?

02:29:05.000 They were up in Napa.

02:29:06.000 There's a nice theater there that I've done.

02:29:07.000 Yeah.

02:29:08.000 Yeah, that's a good spot.

02:29:10.000 That whole area is amazing, right?

02:29:11.000 The food there is all over the charts.

02:29:12.000 It's amazing.

02:29:13.000 It's no joke.

02:29:15.000 The food is incredible.

02:29:15.000 I know.

02:29:17.000 That place, they've got it so dialed in.

02:29:19.000 The wine's amazing.

02:29:21.000 The nature is amazing.

02:29:22.000 Brian Callen, we're up there with those hunting guys.

02:29:25.000 We were filming a turkey hunting episode.

02:29:27.000 And Brian Callen and I, after we went turkey hunting, these guys went back to this Airbnb they rented. 0.98

02:29:34.000 And we were like, guys, they had like hamburger and shit like this. 0.91

02:29:37.000 I go, guys, these are the best restaurants. 0.98

02:29:40.000 In the world.

02:29:41.000 And they're right here.

02:29:42.000 Like, come on, let's go out, I'll pay.

02:29:43.000 They're like, no, we're gonna stay home, make cheeseburgers.

02:29:45.000 Like, okay.

02:29:47.000 Callan and I went out like gentlemen.

02:29:49.000 We got a fine bottle of wine.

02:29:50.000 Nice.

02:29:51.000 Turkey hunting and clinking fine glasses.

02:29:54.000 Come on! 0.61

02:29:55.000 And eating, you know, just delicious steak.

02:29:58.000 Amazing.

02:29:59.000 Incredible food.

02:30:00.000 We had a wonderful time.

02:30:01.000 Yeah.

02:30:02.000 There's certain people, they've figured it out over time.

02:30:05.000 They've got it dialed in.

02:30:07.000 Just do what they do.

02:30:08.000 Yeah, but it's good to appreciate it.

02:30:12.000 It's good to appreciate it.

02:30:13.000 Oh, 100%.

02:30:14.000 It's good.

02:30:14.000 If you ate there every day, I think it would be...

02:30:17.000 No, it's a treat.

02:30:18.000 Yeah.

02:30:19.000 It's something, yeah, it means something.

02:30:20.000 And then you remember that dinner, you know?

02:30:22.000 It's not like just...

02:30:23.000 We were just mocking those guys the entire time. 0.99

02:30:25.000 Drinking wine, getting lit, talking shit, having fun. 0.99

02:30:29.000 It's the best. 0.98

02:30:30.000 That's one of the coolest things about having a friend like Callan, who's just always funny.

02:30:33.000 Yeah.

02:30:34.000 Everywhere you go, you're like, come on, buddy, you're my one-man comedy show.

02:30:38.000 And then next thing you know...

02:30:39.000 He's holding a thing of wine. 1.00

02:30:41.000 Making some shit up. 0.99

02:30:44.000 Pontificating. 1.00

02:30:47.000 He's hilarious.

02:30:48.000 He really makes me laugh.

02:30:51.000 So, website, TomPapa.com?

02:30:53.000 TomPapa.com.

02:30:55.000 TomPapa on the Instagram.

02:30:56.000 TomPapa on the Twitter.

02:30:58.000 All of those things.

02:30:59.000 My book's going to paperback next month.

02:31:01.000 Louisa's.

02:31:02.000 Yeah, it's very cool.

02:31:04.000 It's all good.

02:31:04.000 Always great to be here.

02:31:05.000 Always great to have you, brother.

02:31:06.000 You're going to give me some elk on the way out? 1.00

02:31:07.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:31:08.000 I got a freezer bag for you. 1.00

02:31:09.000 I brought the old freezer bag.

02:31:11.000 Did you?

02:31:11.000 Oh, beautiful.

02:31:12.000 Alright, bye everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 15, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1281 - Tom Papa

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript