The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1280 - Michael Yo

00:00:00.000 Will you go through all three of those?

00:00:01.000 No.

00:00:02.000 Okay.

00:00:02.000 No, one other one is for you.

00:00:04.000 Oh, okay, good.

00:00:05.000 Just in case you wanted to.

00:00:05.000 Good.

00:00:07.000 That's ridiculous. 1.00

00:00:08.000 You're a fucking beast going through three. 1.00

00:00:10.000 Oh, we're live. 1.00

00:00:12.000 We're trying to figure out how much...

00:00:14.000 I think these are 270 milligrams of caffeine.

00:00:17.000 If you drank three of these...

00:00:18.000 Jamie, that would kill you, right? 1.00

00:00:20.000 That would kill you? 1.00

00:00:21.000 No.

00:00:21.000 It wouldn't kill you.

00:00:22.000 It would fuck you up. 1.00

00:00:23.000 I thought you walked in with three coffees. 1.00

00:00:24.000 I was like, God damn, Rogan. 1.00

00:00:26.000 You're going to die. 1.00

00:00:27.000 Like, straight up die after the show. 0.99

00:00:29.000 One is for you, and hopefully we won't need both.

00:00:32.000 Well, I don't know.

00:00:32.000 I've drank both of them before in a show, which is like 500 plus milligrams.

00:00:36.000 I'm addicted to coffee, though, man.

00:00:37.000 I will just drink it.

00:00:38.000 I don't even need a high.

00:00:39.000 I'll just drink it.

00:00:40.000 I love the smell of it.

00:00:41.000 It's so good in the morning, man.

00:00:43.000 Oh, it's the best.

00:00:44.000 And I love it with cream.

00:00:46.000 I love it black.

00:00:47.000 I love espresso.

00:00:48.000 I love it all.

00:00:50.000 See, I got rid of drinking the whole coffee.

00:00:53.000 I'm now an espresso drinker.

00:00:55.000 Really?

00:00:55.000 Two shots in the morning.

00:00:57.000 A double shot.

00:00:58.000 And then like a couple hours later, another.

00:01:00.000 I'll do like eight double shots throughout the day because to me that's better than drinking one coffee.

00:01:04.000 Yes.

00:01:05.000 But it's not?

00:01:05.000 It's not.

00:01:06.000 It's actually, apparently, espresso has less caffeine in it than coffee does.

00:01:12.000 Even though it seems like it has a lot, it doesn't.

00:01:15.000 But you have to drink more acidic acid. 1.00

00:01:17.000 It just tastes like shit. 1.00

00:01:18.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:01:18.000 It doesn't taste like shit, but it's definitely an acquired taste. 1.00

00:01:21.000 I enjoy it, but it's one of the rare things I drink that is that big, and I'm holding my finger up like a... 0.99

00:01:27.000 Two inches.

00:01:28.000 Yeah.

00:01:28.000 It's two inches and it'll take me 10-15 minutes to drink it.

00:01:32.000 For an espresso?

00:01:33.000 Yeah, it should be like a slow.

00:01:34.000 Oh my god, why are you drinking so slow?

00:01:36.000 I like it.

00:01:36.000 I like the savory.

00:01:38.000 Nah, man.

00:01:38.000 Like this, like a gentleman.

00:01:39.000 Pinky's out, bro.

00:01:40.000 Pinky's out. 0.98

00:01:40.000 There's only one way to do it, with these fat Neanderthal fingers. 0.98

00:01:43.000 If you're holding that little tiny handle, you can't get your whole hand in there like a man.

00:01:47.000 You can't look like a man drinking an espresso.

00:01:49.000 Right, it's not like a beer stein made out of a rhino horn.

00:01:52.000 No.

00:01:54.000 It's a tiny little thing.

00:01:56.000 You cannot look tough drinking an espresso.

00:01:58.000 But I drink mine in like three seconds.

00:02:00.000 Do you?

00:02:01.000 Just throw it down.

00:02:02.000 And then I go to the gym.

00:02:03.000 Well, I do that too.

00:02:04.000 One time I drank five.

00:02:07.000 I have an espresso espresso maker and I put five capsules in there and I filled a mug up with it.

00:02:12.000 Like a coffee mug. 0.99

00:02:13.000 And I drank it and I ran four miles like a fucking animal through the hills like I was being chased by wolves. 1.00

00:02:20.000 You're just howling. 1.00

00:02:22.000 I was like, What the fuck am I doing? 1.00

00:02:24.000 Wolves are chasing you. 1.00

00:02:25.000 I was like, why did I drink so much?

00:02:27.000 So what is espresso at?

00:02:29.000 What does it say there, Jamie?

00:02:30.000 Okay, coffee brewed.

00:02:32.000 See, but it all depends on the company.

00:02:34.000 Because Starbucks is extremely caffeinated.

00:02:37.000 Yeah, see, Starbucks is way up the chart.

00:02:39.000 Look at it there.

00:02:40.000 Starbucks Tall is like closing in on 200 and...

00:02:44.000 It looks like about 270. Yeah, I think that's about...

00:02:47.000 Somewhere in the range of 270 milligrams of caffeine.

00:02:50.000 But that's a coffee.

00:02:51.000 That's not...

00:02:51.000 Right, not espresso.

00:02:52.000 So coffee, it would be better to go to Starbucks and get a tall coffee then.

00:02:56.000 There's an espresso.

00:02:56.000 See how low it is?

00:02:57.000 It's below 100. Yeah, so that's why I'm drinking so many of them.

00:03:00.000 So when I drank five, I guess, I think I had five.

00:03:03.000 I think 500 milligrams, which is basically less than drinking two of these things.

00:03:09.000 See?

00:03:10.000 Yeah, these caveman nitros. 1.00

00:03:11.000 These are the shit. 1.00

00:03:12.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:03:13.000 I live off these goddamn things. 1.00

00:03:14.000 They're responsible for half my productivity. 1.00

00:03:16.000 Basically, I'm too chicken shit to go on Adderall, so I just drink this stuff all day. 0.99

00:03:21.000 What? 0.99

00:03:24.000 Well, yeah, it's a good move.

00:03:25.000 Good move.

00:03:26.000 There's nothing wrong with coffee, man.

00:03:28.000 I'm scared of Adderall.

00:03:29.000 But people admit they're addicted to coffee, and everyone's like, ah, me too.

00:03:33.000 If you go, dude, I am so addicted to Adderall, they're like, okay, Joe.

00:03:36.000 Dude, I'm not calling you anymore.

00:03:39.000 You're going to think I'm lame, but until five years ago, I didn't even know what Adderall it was.

00:03:43.000 No, I think you're smart.

00:03:45.000 Good for you.

00:03:45.000 Like, all my friends in Houston, they do it.

00:03:48.000 And I ask my friend, like, I text them.

00:03:50.000 And I go, hey, man, what's your Addy?

00:03:53.000 And he goes, yeah, we got Adderall.

00:03:55.000 I was like, what?

00:03:56.000 No, your address to go to your house.

00:03:59.000 Literally, he thought I was talking about Adderall, and then he explained to me, like, when you're in a club and you want to stay up and you want to stay, like, energized, you take Adderall.

00:04:07.000 And I was like, oh, okay.

00:04:08.000 But I don't drink, so I can stay up until 3, 4 o'clock in the morning and be fine.

00:04:13.000 What's fascinating about Adderall is what they've essentially done is taken an amphetamine and made it so that if you prescribe it for a condition, right, like they give it to people who have...

00:04:26.000 ADD is one of them, right? 0.97

00:04:27.000 Whatever the fuck that means. 0.96

00:04:28.000 And it's very debatable whether or not you have it or don't have it. 0.99

00:04:32.000 Everybody has ADD. I have it, for sure.

00:04:34.000 If it's real, I have it. 0.99

00:04:36.000 But they give you Adderall, which is fucking speed. 0.97

00:04:39.000 And because it's a medication that you give to somebody who supposedly has a condition, and by the way, I'm not diagnosing you. 0.98

00:04:46.000 If you're out there, you're getting frustrated with me right now.

00:04:48.000 Just listen to me. 1.00

00:04:49.000 It's fucking speed. 1.00

00:04:50.000 Maybe you need speed. 1.00

00:04:52.000 Maybe you're that person that needs speed.

00:04:54.000 Maybe you do need it legitimately as a medication. 0.67

00:04:56.000 But there's a fuckload of people that are just doing speed.

00:05:01.000 So by somebody giving you speed, it's supposed to slow you down so you won't have ADD? Is that the reasoning?

00:05:06.000 That's what they say.

00:05:06.000 They say if you have the legit ADD. Look, I am not doubting that some people have whatever the fuck I have worse than I have it.

00:05:15.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:05:15.000 There's a spectrum, right? 0.96

00:05:16.000 With everything.

00:05:17.000 But...

00:05:18.000 For some people, when they take Adderall or similar type of substances, it actually lets them focus.

00:05:25.000 And they can actually be on track.

00:05:27.000 So by speeding it up, somehow it focuses in.

00:05:30.000 I don't get it.

00:05:30.000 I don't understand.

00:05:31.000 I think the idea is that it's proof that their system is wired wrong, which is why when you give them that speed, they can center out and mellow out.

00:05:39.000 My friend's a doctor, and I was talking to him, and I used to just pop by to say what's up, and he goes, hey man, just to let you know, the more you go to a doctor, the faster you'll die.

00:05:51.000 And I go, what?

00:05:52.000 Yeah.

00:05:52.000 He's like, I just want to let you know.

00:05:54.000 No, yeah, yeah. 0.97

00:05:55.000 He says, the more you go to us, you come to us, the faster you'll die.

00:05:58.000 I was like, what are you talking about?

00:05:59.000 Because a lot of doctors are crooked, and they'll give you something for what you think you got.

00:06:04.000 And then after that wears off, they have to give you something else.

00:06:07.000 So now you just keep filling yourself with stuff to fix the other thing that was wrong.

00:06:12.000 And he goes...

00:06:13.000 Some doctors are not good people.

00:06:15.000 And he goes, the more people go to doctors, the faster they die.

00:06:18.000 Put it in a point, my mom beat breast cancer twice, right?

00:06:21.000 And my dad's never been to the doctor.

00:06:22.000 He's 75 years old, never been to the doctor once.

00:06:25.000 Because he's like, well, as soon as you go to the doctor, they tell you something wrong, you die.

00:06:28.000 You know, literally. 1.00

00:06:29.000 Yeah, but if you have cancer, you should go to a fucking doctor. 1.00

00:06:32.000 Well, he didn't have cancer, my mom did. 1.00

00:06:33.000 Right, but if he had cancer, he should go to a fucking doctor. 0.99

00:06:36.000 But I don't think he would go, even if he hadn't. 0.99

00:06:38.000 But your mom beat it twice, and she's still here.

00:06:41.000 Yes, she is.

00:06:41.000 And the second time she beat it, she didn't even tell me she had it.

00:06:44.000 Doesn't your dad want to beat it if he gets it?

00:06:46.000 Nah.

00:06:47.000 My dad is kind of like, hey, I've been through a lot.

00:06:49.000 I'm fine.

00:06:50.000 He hates going to the doctor.

00:06:53.000 The only time he went to the doctor, he had a back problem.

00:06:55.000 And that's it.

00:06:56.000 But that's old school.

00:06:58.000 What if you met a good doctor?

00:06:59.000 Like a doctor that he likes. 0.99

00:07:00.000 Like a guy he plays golf with or some shit. 0.99

00:07:02.000 My dad is not social. 0.99

00:07:05.000 He's not?

00:07:05.000 No.

00:07:06.000 No?

00:07:06.000 No, I'm totally...

00:07:07.000 It's weird.

00:07:07.000 You're so social.

00:07:08.000 I'm totally opposite.

00:07:09.000 Like, my dad's story is crazy.

00:07:11.000 Like, he went through segregation.

00:07:13.000 He got a PhD in nuclear physics.

00:07:15.000 Whoa.

00:07:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:07:16.000 My dad's a genius.

00:07:18.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:07:19.000 And you're out there talking shit and telling jokes. 1.00

00:07:21.000 Telling jokes. 1.00

00:07:22.000 I'm a failure in my life.

00:07:24.000 But you're not, because you're a success at it, so he's got to go, all right.

00:07:27.000 Yeah, he's the one that told me to drop out of college.

00:07:31.000 Really?

00:07:31.000 Yeah, I played football for the- How did he say it, though?

00:07:33.000 He said, you need to drop out of college.

00:07:35.000 You're not smart.

00:07:38.000 See, that's not supportive.

00:07:39.000 It's not like, Michael, you need to drop out of college and chase your dreams.

00:07:43.000 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

00:07:44.000 He was like, my dad's whole thing is, I got a PhD in nuclear physics.

00:07:47.000 I know what wanting to be in school is.

00:07:50.000 And you don't want to be in school.

00:07:52.000 And you got a personality.

00:07:53.000 Go do that. 1.00

00:07:54.000 But you're dumb. 1.00

00:07:55.000 Like, literally. 1.00

00:07:55.000 He would say that. 1.00

00:07:57.000 My parents were not supportive.

00:07:59.000 They were just not supportive.

00:08:00.000 Like, my mom wanted me to be a doctor.

00:08:03.000 But she knew I wasn't bright enough to be a doctor.

00:08:05.000 So, like, my dad said, you got to drop out.

00:08:08.000 See, I don't think you're not bright enough to be a doctor.

00:08:10.000 I think you're not interested in being a doctor.

00:08:13.000 See, because I see how you pursue stand-up and show business.

00:08:16.000 You're a bright, ambitious guy.

00:08:19.000 Oh, 100%. 1.00

00:08:19.000 You just don't want to be operating on people that are on anesthesia with fucking headlamps on and shit and rubber gloves covered with blood. 1.00

00:08:27.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

00:08:28.000 I don't want nobody dying on me. 1.00

00:08:29.000 That would be the worst, having somebody die while you're working on them, and then you've got to go tell their family, hey, man, sorry, my bad.

00:08:36.000 Jeez.

00:08:37.000 The pressure of those people.

00:08:39.000 Jamie, was it you that was telling me yesterday about the guy who's the EMT? Tell me what you told me.

00:08:44.000 He said he was listening to the podcast we did with Luis J. Gomez about people getting head injuries.

00:08:49.000 And he has been doing, I believe, for like 15 years or so.

00:08:53.000 Doesn't do it every single day because you don't work every single day, but on a three-day basis or so.

00:08:57.000 Every day he works, he sees at least one person dead from a head injury.

00:09:01.000 Whether it's an elderly person, they slept on ice, something. 0.87

00:09:05.000 People fall and hit their heads.

00:09:07.000 Oh, yeah.

00:09:07.000 That's why, please, folks, if you're listening to me and you want to punch somebody and knock them out, please don't do it.

00:09:13.000 Just go to a gym, get your frustrations out, don't fight on the street.

00:09:16.000 You could kill somebody or you can get killed, even accidentally.

00:09:20.000 Even if you really don't hate the guy that much, you punch him in the face, they go unconscious, their head hits the ground, people die all the time.

00:09:29.000 I mean, I've told the story about when Kevin James used to work as a bouncer in Long Island, a guy that he was working with punched a guy and killed him.

00:09:36.000 Really?

00:09:36.000 Yeah, Kevin wasn't there, but he knew the guy, and the guy accidentally killed a drunk guy.

00:09:41.000 Drunk guy's coming at him.

00:09:42.000 He punched him, I guess.

00:09:44.000 I don't know the whole story. 0.99

00:09:45.000 But that shit happens all the time. 0.99

00:09:47.000 I've seen guys get knocked out. 1.00

00:09:49.000 And it's not about the punch, though.

00:09:50.000 It's about when they hit their head after the punch.

00:09:52.000 You're getting hit by the world.

00:09:54.000 Yeah.

00:09:54.000 Think about that.

00:09:55.000 Think of the world just dropped on your head.

00:09:57.000 That's what it's like.

00:09:58.000 Your body mass bouncing off a completely, especially concrete.

00:10:03.000 There's no give.

00:10:04.000 So your head just...

00:10:06.000 It sounds horrible. 0.99

00:10:08.000 Listening to someone's head bounce off concrete is one of the scariest fucking sounds. 0.99

00:10:12.000 It's horrible. 1.00

00:10:13.000 Even if you do it to somebody and you wanted to hurt them, when you hear their head bounce off concrete, you're like, oh shit. 1.00

00:10:20.000 That's not as simple as you punch them. 1.00

00:10:22.000 You punch them and then... 0.97

00:10:25.000 Whatever they weigh. 0.97

00:10:26.000 190 pounds with all their mass and gravity pulling them towards the ground with nothing slowing it down.

00:10:33.000 But meat and head.

00:10:35.000 Bang! 1.00

00:10:36.000 Bone! 0.98

00:10:37.000 Shoulder!

00:10:38.000 That reminds me of when I was...

00:10:40.000 10 years old, I was sitting on the curb.

00:10:41.000 And this is the first time I saw death in real life from a head injury.

00:10:45.000 I was sitting with my friend on the curb and a guy was driving a motorcycle and he was speeding up and down the street.

00:10:50.000 And right on Iriswood in Houston, Texas, he's flying down, a car pulls out.

00:10:55.000 And he hits it.

00:10:56.000 Back then they didn't wear helmets.

00:10:57.000 So he literally flew up in the air and landed about 20 feet from us.

00:11:02.000 His head hit first and exploded like a watermelon.

00:11:06.000 And this is like, I was 10 years old watching this.

00:11:09.000 So the next morning, you know, the police come.

00:11:11.000 My parents get me to tell me don't look at it.

00:11:14.000 I go out there the next day.

00:11:16.000 It's just bloodstains everywhere.

00:11:17.000 And his wife is picking up his hair.

00:11:19.000 That stuck to the concrete.

00:11:21.000 And I remember it so vividly.

00:11:23.000 Next door neighbor was Eric.

00:11:25.000 And we were sitting on the curb watching this lady pick up her husband's hair that was stuck. 0.67

00:11:31.000 And that's the first time I ever saw death.

00:11:34.000 And it was a gnarly death, too.

00:11:38.000 It was like that faces of death stuff.

00:11:40.000 It was bad.

00:11:41.000 It was bad.

00:11:42.000 I never rode a motorcycle because of that.

00:11:45.000 Yeah, there's not a lot of reasons to ride a motorcycle other than it's awesome. 0.99

00:11:50.000 The fucking danger. 0.97

00:11:53.000 I took motorcycle safety classes and then two of my friends wiped out. 0.99

00:11:59.000 One of them got hit by a car and one of them fell going around a corner and fucked his shoulder up.

00:12:07.000 After that accident, probably about six years later, you know when three-wheelers were big back then?

00:12:11.000 Yeah.

00:12:11.000 And my friend, same friend that was on the curb, we were three-wheeling, and where I grew up, there was a bunch of ditches.

00:12:18.000 So we were going, and he thought he could go down in the ditch and come up the other side, but I think he forgot that it's flat on the bottom of real ditches.

00:12:27.000 So literally, we're going, and We hit the bottom and I flew up and literally half my face was like just wrecked.

00:12:34.000 I was in the hospital and we didn't have helmets at that time.

00:12:39.000 Of course. 0.96

00:12:39.000 Because we were young and dumb and just wanted to like. 0.96

00:12:42.000 Stupid. 1.00

00:12:43.000 Stupid. 1.00

00:12:44.000 Like when you let boys just wander around. 1.00

00:12:48.000 It's never good. 0.99

00:12:49.000 It's never the dumb shit that they do that they think is okay. 0.99

00:12:52.000 Let's try this. 1.00

00:12:53.000 Hey, take those fireworks and stick them in this tree. 0.92

00:12:56.000 This old rotted down tree. 0.95

00:12:58.000 Let's blow it up.

00:13:00.000 And the problem is, I think today, parents, at least we know more.

00:13:06.000 I feel we tell, but like our parents, at least my parents, they didn't really give me guidance.

00:13:11.000 You know, they were kind of like, hey, figure it out on your own.

00:13:14.000 Mine, too.

00:13:14.000 Yeah.

00:13:15.000 I think that was that generation, though.

00:13:16.000 Yeah.

00:13:17.000 Like, my parents is the parents that didn't tell you they loved me until I was 29, and I forced them to.

00:13:22.000 It's that kind of thing.

00:13:23.000 Oh, wow.

00:13:24.000 Yeah.

00:13:24.000 That's different.

00:13:25.000 Yeah, my parents tell me they loved me all the time.

00:13:32.000 My parents were hippies.

00:13:33.000 My mom and my stepdad are hippies.

00:13:35.000 I don't know.

00:13:36.000 Maybe it was in a good way.

00:13:38.000 In a good way.

00:13:38.000 Really nice people.

00:13:40.000 Yeah, man. 0.98

00:13:42.000 They didn't tell me shit, though. 0.99

00:13:43.000 Like, what to do. 0.99

00:13:44.000 All of a sudden, why are your grades so bad?

00:13:45.000 I'm like, I don't know. 0.99

00:13:46.000 What the fuck do I do? 0.98

00:13:47.000 Tell me so much what to do. 0.99

00:13:48.000 But they've worked, man.

00:13:50.000 If you have a full-time job and the wife has a full-time job and you're raising children, man, how much time does that really leave? 0.88

00:13:58.000 I mean, none.

00:13:58.000 You don't get home until 6, 7. When do you get out of work?

00:14:01.000 At 5?

00:14:02.000 By the time you get home, the kids have been home from school for 3 hours.

00:14:04.000 They're already exhausted.

00:14:05.000 They just want to eat and go to sleep.

00:14:06.000 Yeah.

00:14:07.000 You're not learning anything about each other for like five days a week.

00:14:10.000 Well, my mom worked for my dad, so I got to see my mom a lot.

00:14:15.000 But it was the type of relationship where when I was growing up, my mom's Asian, my dad's black.

00:14:19.000 I guess there wasn't that, hey, we love you.

00:14:22.000 I mean, I knew they loved me, but they didn't ever say it.

00:14:25.000 They didn't express it.

00:14:25.000 And the only reason they said it is because I was dating a girl at the time, and they used the I love you thing all the time.

00:14:33.000 And I thought that was very strange, because I've never heard people just say it all the time.

00:14:37.000 Hey, I love you, I love you, I love you.

00:14:38.000 So I called my dad, and I was like, hey, I love you.

00:14:41.000 And he hung up.

00:14:42.000 Literally, he was just like, okay.

00:14:46.000 Alright, cool.

00:14:47.000 And then he hung up.

00:14:48.000 And then now, after I got married and have a kid, now we say, I love you all the time.

00:14:53.000 Because I don't want my son to grow up with, no, I love you.

00:14:56.000 Beautiful.

00:14:57.000 It's a different time for them, man.

00:15:00.000 It was a different time. 0.99

00:15:01.000 It's a foolish insecurity.

00:15:03.000 Because if you say you love you, if you say I love you to someone, either they love you back and it feels great, or they don't and you don't hang out with them anymore.

00:15:16.000 Well, I reserve it for people that I love.

00:15:19.000 And usually they love you too.

00:15:21.000 There's something wrong with your wiring.

00:15:22.000 If you're looking at it wrong, you know?

00:15:24.000 Yeah.

00:15:25.000 Nah, that's never happened to me, Joe, where I told somebody I loved them and they said nothing back.

00:15:29.000 It can happen.

00:15:31.000 Dudes clam up sometimes.

00:15:32.000 Tell a friend you love them.

00:15:34.000 Hey, I love you, man.

00:15:34.000 They go, yikes.

00:15:37.000 This is not for me.

00:15:38.000 This is too weird, man.

00:15:41.000 I grew up in Nebraska.

00:15:43.000 But I think it's also a young dude thing, too.

00:15:45.000 When you're young, you're macho.

00:15:46.000 You don't want to say I love you to another dude.

00:15:48.000 Yeah, for sure.

00:15:49.000 Especially if you're living in Nebraska.

00:15:51.000 Yeah.

00:15:51.000 I'm just kidding, Nebraska.

00:15:53.000 Don't get uptight.

00:15:54.000 Somebody sent me a box of Nebraska t-shirts.

00:15:56.000 Like the Cornhuskers?

00:15:58.000 Like, listen, son, I ain't wearing that.

00:16:02.000 My wife's father is from Nebraska.

00:16:04.000 Is he?

00:16:04.000 Yeah.

00:16:05.000 There you go.

00:16:06.000 It's a good spot.

00:16:08.000 It's as good a spot as any. 0.94

00:16:09.000 All those spots that used to suck, they don't suck as much anymore because of the internet. 0.85

00:16:13.000 Really? 0.94

00:16:13.000 I mean, what's there to do in Nebraska? 0.94

00:16:15.000 Let's be serious.

00:16:16.000 Pheasant hunt.

00:16:17.000 I think it's a good pheasant hunting spot.

00:16:19.000 Okay, they got the corn huskers.

00:16:21.000 They got corn.

00:16:22.000 I mean, if you just want to be alone and start a cult, I think it's a good spot to start out.

00:16:26.000 That's great.

00:16:26.000 Yeah.

00:16:27.000 If you want to start a cult, though, you've got to live in an attractive climate.

00:16:30.000 You know, I think that's why...

00:16:31.000 That's why...

00:16:33.000 What's that place in Arizona that everybody goes to?

00:16:35.000 Scottsdale?

00:16:36.000 No, no, no.

00:16:36.000 The other one.

00:16:37.000 Sedona?

00:16:37.000 Yeah, that one.

00:16:38.000 That's the one where all the cult leaders go to.

00:16:40.000 Okay.

00:16:42.000 How do you explain Waco then?

00:16:43.000 That's the armpit of Texas.

00:16:45.000 It is, but it isn't.

00:16:46.000 You can get to Dallas pretty quick from Waco.

00:16:49.000 You can recruit.

00:16:50.000 You can go to Dallas.

00:16:51.000 You can go to Dallas.

00:16:52.000 You can go to Dallas.

00:16:52.000 You can go to Ranch out in Waco.

00:16:54.000 Go check out a Cowboys game.

00:16:55.000 Come back.

00:16:56.000 It's not that far.

00:16:57.000 Yeah.

00:16:57.000 No, I couldn't...

00:17:00.000 This whole cult thing, I don't get it.

00:17:02.000 Sedona's a weird one, right?

00:17:03.000 Because it's all like crystals and healers.

00:17:05.000 It's all people looking to be spiritual.

00:17:07.000 They've given up on traditional religion, but they seem to need that sort of vibe.

00:17:12.000 Yeah.

00:17:12.000 And so they get into like spiritual stuff and channelers and healers.

00:17:17.000 Have you got into that stuff ever?

00:17:18.000 Yeah, I'm into it all day long.

00:17:22.000 I'm all about channeling, bro.

00:17:24.000 Yeah.

00:17:25.000 That's my thing.

00:17:26.000 I'm into channeling.

00:17:27.000 Yeah, right.

00:17:28.000 I mean...

00:17:29.000 No.

00:17:30.000 No.

00:17:30.000 I think we...

00:17:31.000 I really do believe, and I've been believing this more and more lately, though, that our understanding of what our memory is is very limited.

00:17:39.000 And that the reason why people are scared of things, some things, is probably because there's some sort of genetic memory of someone that they knew...

00:17:47.000 Like, I bet your kid will have... 0.98

00:17:51.000 Somehow or another, that knowledge of that motorcycle accident, I think shit like that goes through DNA. Really? 0.99

00:18:00.000 Yeah, I do.

00:18:01.000 I think that's why kids are scared of monsters.

00:18:03.000 Why are kids scared of monsters?

00:18:05.000 Why aren't they scared of bullets or fires?

00:18:09.000 They're scared of something that I was scared of growing up?

00:18:12.000 No, that animals used to eat people.

00:18:15.000 That's what I think. 1.00

00:18:16.000 I think monsters represent like jaguars and shit. 0.99

00:18:19.000 Like you're going through the jungle to try to get some water and you get jacked. 0.99

00:18:22.000 That's our ancestors.

00:18:23.000 All of our ancestors.

00:18:24.000 Every single human being on this planet came from Africa.

00:18:28.000 All of us.

00:18:29.000 100% of us.

00:18:31.000 Everyone.

00:18:31.000 Asian, black, white.

00:18:33.000 All of us got eaten.

00:18:35.000 All of our ancestors got eaten.

00:18:36.000 So in our DNA, it's wired.

00:18:37.000 There's cats out there, bro.

00:18:39.000 What are you afraid of?

00:18:41.000 Monsters in the dark.

00:18:42.000 Those are cats, man.

00:18:43.000 We got jacked by cats like all the time.

00:18:47.000 Yeah.

00:18:48.000 So that's why everybody's scared of things under the bed.

00:18:50.000 What's in the closet?

00:18:51.000 They're hiding.

00:18:52.000 They're cats.

00:18:53.000 Big cats looking to get you.

00:18:55.000 I don't know about that.

00:19:03.000 This was very scary for a moment, but I don't believe in that.

00:19:06.000 Why do you think that animals have instincts?

00:19:09.000 Here's a perfect example.

00:19:10.000 But we have instincts.

00:19:10.000 Right, but what kind of instincts?

00:19:12.000 Animals have weird instincts. 1.00

00:19:14.000 They all sniff each other's assholes. 0.99

00:19:15.000 They all piss on spots where other animals did. 1.00

00:19:18.000 Nobody had to teach my dog how to do that.

00:19:20.000 My dog, I got him when he was six weeks old.

00:19:22.000 And I've had him for two and a half years. 1.00

00:19:24.000 That motherfucker will sniff something, and he sees somebody peed on it, he pees on it. 1.00

00:19:28.000 But he learned that from his... 1.00

00:19:29.000 He didn't learn that from nobody.

00:19:31.000 No, he learned that from his dog people. 0.99

00:19:33.000 When he came over here, he didn't know jack shit. 0.99

00:19:36.000 So he learned that from us? 0.99

00:19:38.000 No, I think it's in his DNA. Okay, yeah, I get that.

00:19:42.000 But what is the DNA? Like, doesn't your DNA carry some traces of information onto your own children?

00:19:48.000 What I notice in my children is they share certain weird traits that I have, like obsessive-compulsive traits that I don't think they see, because I don't really bring that home.

00:20:00.000 Especially the workout stuff and some things that I really get kind of psychotic about, martial arts stuff.

00:20:06.000 My middle daughter has that in a crazy way. 0.87

00:20:10.000 And I'm like, oh, okay, this is me if I was a girl.

00:20:13.000 Like if I was a little girl, this is me.

00:20:14.000 So is this my memory that's in her?

00:20:17.000 Or do I have some weird, obsessive gene?

00:20:21.000 Which is it?

00:20:22.000 It is the DNA because I see my son.

00:20:25.000 He's only two.

00:20:26.000 He just turned two.

00:20:27.000 But he makes facial expressions and looks like he does certain looks that I do.

00:20:33.000 And my wife goes, he's acting like you right now.

00:20:37.000 Do you think he's acting like you because he sees you act like that?

00:20:40.000 Or is he acting like you because he knows in his head that that's how you react?

00:20:43.000 He's wired like that.

00:20:45.000 Because when I watch it, he doesn't know.

00:20:47.000 Like, a lot of this stuff he does, I don't even do.

00:20:50.000 He just does.

00:20:52.000 Like, my mom will come over and she'll watch him.

00:20:55.000 She'll go, you know, he's just like you when you were this age.

00:20:57.000 And it's so weird.

00:20:59.000 Yeah, it's in the DNA. It's in something, right?

00:21:01.000 Whatever it is.

00:21:02.000 Whether it's in cellular memory, DNA, some sort of genetic information gets passed on from the parents to the child.

00:21:10.000 You could say that about athletics though.

00:21:12.000 No, but that's a little different though.

00:21:14.000 But it's in the DNA. Yeah, it is in the DNA, but it's not an ethereal thing like a thought.

00:21:19.000 You know what I mean?

00:21:20.000 Yeah.

00:21:21.000 Like, here's one.

00:21:23.000 Aphidiophobia or arachnophobia, fear of snakes or spiders.

00:21:26.000 Have you ever seen anybody who has that?

00:21:28.000 Well, you were on Fear Factor with me.

00:21:29.000 Oh my god, that was the worst.

00:21:31.000 I should say, you made it out, brother.

00:21:34.000 Boom! 0.99

00:21:34.000 Congratulations! 0.99

00:21:35.000 No, do you remember?

00:21:36.000 Season one, episode one.

00:21:39.000 I was the pilot episode.

00:21:40.000 The pilot episode.

00:21:41.000 And that's where I met you for the first time.

00:21:43.000 Can you believe 16, what, 2001?

00:21:46.000 Yeah.

00:21:47.000 What is that?

00:21:47.000 That's 18 years ago.

00:21:48.000 18 years ago we met.

00:21:49.000 Because that was right after 9-11.

00:21:52.000 Yes, right after.

00:21:54.000 And they flew us down.

00:21:55.000 And the first time I met you, it was at Saddle Ranch.

00:21:59.000 And you were like, welcome.

00:22:00.000 Look at this, dude.

00:22:02.000 Okay, this is way later.

00:22:03.000 This is way later when we did the new season of it in like 2011. Yeah, you tried to get me to eat that spider.

00:22:10.000 Yeah, that spider didn't even taste bad, bro.

00:22:13.000 Dude, that's not a normal thing.

00:22:15.000 And you just chomped it like a chance.

00:22:17.000 So this whole scene, I'm acting like a little bee.

00:22:19.000 Oh, you just was a little fearful.

00:22:22.000 You had to eat sheep's eyeballs, though.

00:22:24.000 I remember what you had to eat.

00:22:25.000 Dude, now those were disgusting.

00:22:28.000 Yeah, I ate it because I felt bad for you guys.

00:22:31.000 That was before I'd hardened.

00:22:32.000 I'd been hardened to the world.

00:22:33.000 Because you guys were episode one, season one.

00:22:35.000 And it didn't seem right for me that you guys would have to eat these things and I didn't eat it.

00:22:39.000 So I said, alright, if you guys eat it, I'll eat it too.

00:22:41.000 But they didn't show it.

00:22:43.000 Like, they wouldn't show it on television that I ate it.

00:22:46.000 Because they didn't want it to look too easy.

00:22:49.000 Easy, yeah.

00:22:50.000 It's so weird. 1.00

00:22:50.000 It tastes like shit, though. 1.00

00:22:52.000 But yeah, oh my god. 0.99

00:22:52.000 I remember biting down into it and it kind of like burst. 0.99

00:22:55.000 Yeah.

00:22:56.000 And then that retina that you had to just chomp. 0.71

00:22:58.000 Yeah, you had to chew on that retina.

00:23:00.000 And we had to eat three of them.

00:23:01.000 Yeah.

00:23:01.000 They weren't good.

00:23:02.000 No, they were horrible.

00:23:04.000 But you know what was surprisingly mild?

00:23:06.000 I ate a roach.

00:23:08.000 I'm not bragging.

00:23:10.000 It just didn't taste like much.

00:23:11.000 Just a roach?

00:23:12.000 No, it doesn't taste like much.

00:23:13.000 But why would you eat a roach?

00:23:14.000 Was that part of the show?

00:23:15.000 Yeah, it was...

00:23:18.000 It was a celebrity fear factor, and there was a young lady who was scared to eat a roach, and she was going to get eliminated from the show, and so I said, listen, I'll make you a deal.

00:23:30.000 If you do it, I'll do it.

00:23:32.000 And she's like, you will?

00:23:33.000 I go, yeah, I will.

00:23:34.000 And she wouldn't do it, so she made a deal, like three worms.

00:23:37.000 She decided, I'll eat three worms.

00:23:39.000 Yeah, uh-huh.

00:23:41.000 I remember when I was on that show, the question they would ask you in the survey is, what's your fear of dying?

00:23:48.000 And I wrote down, dying underwater.

00:23:51.000 Because that would be my biggest fear, is dying underwater.

00:23:54.000 And so our last stunt was when they dumped us underwater.

00:23:57.000 Yeah.

00:24:00.000 We're good to go.

00:24:19.000 Yeah, they play all of them.

00:24:20.000 They play them on different, like True TV or something like that, one of those cable shows.

00:24:25.000 I remember when we were talking, I would go, because you were, what show were you on at that time?

00:24:30.000 News Radio.

00:24:31.000 You were on News Radio.

00:24:32.000 Well, that was a couple of years earlier.

00:24:34.000 There you are.

00:24:35.000 Look at that.

00:24:35.000 What happened?

00:24:36.000 Yeah, and, oh, okay, so that's the Chief Eye Boss.

00:24:38.000 Michael Yeo.

00:24:41.000 Look at you eating sheep's eyeballs.

00:24:43.000 So at the end, I go to Joe and I go, hey man, I can't do the last stunt.

00:24:49.000 Look at that.

00:24:51.000 Okay, so this is you talking to me.

00:24:54.000 Because Joe goes, hey, I go, Joe, I'm not going to be able to make it through this whole stunt.

00:24:59.000 I can't hold my breath for that long.

00:25:00.000 And you go, I'll just make it look great for the camera.

00:25:07.000 I was going to try to talk you into it, but I wasn't good enough at it then.

00:25:11.000 I had to figure out how to talk people into it, because I knew there were some people that were just psyching themselves out.

00:25:16.000 Yeah, and the smoker won our episode.

00:25:18.000 The guy that we thought was going to lose. 1.00

00:25:20.000 No oxygen in his fucking system. 1.00

00:25:24.000 He's used to having no oxygen. 1.00

00:25:26.000 And that's when they casted Fear Factor off of personality.

00:25:30.000 And then it just became a hot fest.

00:25:32.000 It was a lot of it.

00:25:33.000 It was also, you know, they kept ramping up the difficulty of stuff.

00:25:38.000 Like, the last season scared the shit out of me.

00:25:41.000 When they were launching a car through a moving train and an explosion happens in the car.

00:25:46.000 It was like, what?

00:25:47.000 You're going to kill somebody. 0.94

00:25:48.000 Yeah. 0.94

00:25:49.000 And when I came up to your, I think it was the last season, y'all were doing something with a donkey dong? 0.99

00:25:55.000 Donkey cum. 0.99

00:25:56.000 Donkey cum. 0.99

00:25:57.000 That's what got us canceled. 0.99

00:25:58.000 Yes!

00:25:59.000 Because I remember showing up and Joe says, come here, yo. 0.99

00:26:02.000 And he goes, you're about to drink donkey cum. 0.99

00:26:06.000 I thought everybody was going to quit when I showed up that day. 0.99

00:26:11.000 And they brought the paper into my trailer and they told me what it was going to be.

00:26:14.000 I don't think I knew about that one before.

00:26:16.000 Some of them I knew about before, but I don't think I knew about that one.

00:26:20.000 I think when they brought that in, I had no idea.

00:26:22.000 And I was like, you can't do this.

00:26:24.000 I'm like, no one's going to do it, first of all.

00:26:25.000 They're all going to quit.

00:26:26.000 But what was hilarious is I'm sitting there next to you watching them drink this stuff.

00:26:31.000 And then we're just laughing.

00:26:35.000 But dude, how about an intern had to drink it?

00:26:37.000 An intern had to drink it. 0.51

00:26:38.000 I think they only got like $100.

00:26:40.000 For what?

00:26:41.000 Well, there was like part of the thing is that they would have to test it.

00:26:44.000 When they would like say, here's some fair factor info.

00:26:49.000 So like say if you had to eat like kidneys, right?

00:26:53.000 How many kidneys can someone eat in a minute? 0.99

00:26:56.000 You know, like how much meat can you actually like disgusting dried meat can you consume?

00:27:02.000 Mm-hmm.

00:27:03.000 And so what we had was certain interns that would volunteer for it, and they would get like an extra hundred and something dollars.

00:27:10.000 And I would always give them money too.

00:27:11.000 I would always give them a couple hundred bucks on top of it. 0.99

00:27:13.000 But they would eat whatever the fuck it was, and then they would determine, all right, well, Mike usually can put it down like no one. 1.00

00:27:23.000 And if he could only get through three, and then some other producer would come in and go, fuck this, we're being pussies, make them eat four. 1.00

00:27:30.000 Four? 1.00

00:27:31.000 You guys are crazy! 1.00

00:27:32.000 And this was like the debate. 1.00

00:27:33.000 The debate on the set would be like, how much blood should they drink?

00:27:36.000 One gallon!

00:27:37.000 One gallon of blood!

00:27:38.000 They never drank blood.

00:27:40.000 But you know what I'm saying. 0.61

00:27:40.000 How many horse dicks? 0.61

00:27:41.000 They never ate a horse dick. 1.00

00:27:42.000 But they did eat bull dicks and elk dicks and deer dicks. 1.00

00:27:46.000 But the donkey cum was the worst. 0.99

00:27:48.000 Oh, yeah! 0.98

00:27:49.000 And I even remember at the shoot, you were like, yeah, I think the show's over after this.

00:27:54.000 They didn't air it.

00:27:55.000 They didn't air it.

00:27:56.000 They aired it in other countries, though.

00:27:58.000 Oh, did it?

00:27:58.000 Really?

00:27:58.000 Yeah.

00:27:59.000 So you could get it in, I think it's like Dutch.

00:28:02.000 So it's like you hear us talk in English, but then they have Dutch subtitles.

00:28:08.000 Yeah, that was such... 1.00

00:28:10.000 So stupid. 1.00

00:28:11.000 Are you surprised how stupid people are to go? 1.00

00:28:15.000 No, because I think people are like, look, it's an experience. 1.00

00:28:18.000 I'm here for the experience.

00:28:19.000 I'm going to have some fun.

00:28:20.000 This is crazy.

00:28:21.000 But when you get to Donkey Kong, you're kind of being rude.

00:28:24.000 Yeah.

00:28:24.000 To those folks.

00:28:25.000 You know, you got donkey this, donkey that, but then the donkey come.

00:28:28.000 Taking advantage of their need for fame in a weird way. 0.83

00:28:33.000 No, you are.

00:28:34.000 But hey, they want to give it.

00:28:35.000 That's the game.

00:28:36.000 And I remember you showing it to me first, and it was in this large glass container.

00:28:41.000 And it wasn't a little they had to drink.

00:28:44.000 No, no, no.

00:28:44.000 They had to drink a lot.

00:28:46.000 Yeah, it was like the aforementioned rhino horn beer mug.

00:28:50.000 Just love. 0.99

00:28:51.000 It was a fucking large chug of jizz. 0.99

00:28:56.000 You know what's even more offensive? 1.00

00:28:59.000 Donkeys are not fertile. 0.97

00:29:01.000 Look at it, there it is. 0.99

00:29:02.000 Oh, that's it!

00:29:03.000 Yes! 0.99

00:29:04.000 So that cum is useless. 0.99

00:29:05.000 It's not just cum, but imagine it's cum that can never even be babies. 0.99

00:29:11.000 Okay. 1.00

00:29:11.000 It's bullshit. 1.00

00:29:12.000 But I remember when y'all used to do stunts. 1.00

00:29:15.000 This is disgusting.

00:29:16.000 I remember y'all used to do stunts.

00:29:18.000 It was actually a delicate...

00:29:20.000 Like, people in other countries actually ate it.

00:29:22.000 Sometimes.

00:29:23.000 Oh, sometimes.

00:29:24.000 Yeah, like balut.

00:29:25.000 So that's not...

00:29:26.000 That's just being mean.

00:29:27.000 No, that's just being mean.

00:29:28.000 Okay, that's no other country is doing that just for fun.

00:29:30.000 Yeah, they gave up on that whole...

00:29:32.000 In other countries, this is considered a delicacy.

00:29:34.000 Yeah, they gave up on that a long time ago.

00:29:37.000 Yeah, you had to push the envelope on that now.

00:29:39.000 One of the things that made things gross, smell-wise, was actually really expensive cheese.

00:29:45.000 They would go to this expensive, what is it, a formagerie?

00:29:50.000 What do they call them?

00:29:50.000 What do they call one of those cheese places?

00:29:52.000 Yeah, that's like Italian for cheese.

00:29:54.000 Formage?

00:29:55.000 Formagerie?

00:29:57.000 Formagerie?

00:29:57.000 Isn't it French, too?

00:29:58.000 Something like that?

00:29:58.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:00.000 Jamie's my...

00:30:01.000 That's my translation.

00:30:03.000 They both come from that. 0.99

00:30:04.000 I'm dumb. 1.00

00:30:04.000 I'm dumb, so there you go. 1.00

00:30:06.000 But anyway, this cheese that we would use was disgusting. 0.97

00:30:10.000 It smelled so bad, but apparently it tastes really good if you're into that kind of cheese.

00:30:16.000 Like, Bourdain was really into stinky cheese.

00:30:19.000 Like, he would talk to me about it, like, with passion. 0.99

00:30:21.000 Like, just the fucking stinkier the better. 0.99

00:30:24.000 Like, disgusting smelling cheese, and the taste is fantastic. 1.00

00:30:27.000 I'd be like, wow! 0.92

00:30:29.000 I would think that the smell would fuck up your taste buds. 0.67

00:30:32.000 Yeah, absolutely.

00:30:33.000 I don't know.

00:30:34.000 It's like one of those things where I guess you catch the right vibe.

00:30:38.000 You go in it with the right attitude.

00:30:40.000 There is no attitude. 1.00

00:30:42.000 If it stinks, fuck that, dude. 1.00

00:30:44.000 I can't eat this expensive cheese and they would squeegee it off into a blender. 1.00

00:30:49.000 Nah. 0.99

00:30:50.000 And then they'd blend it up with the other stuff, like worms and shit. 0.99

00:30:52.000 It would make the worms taste horrific or smell horrific. 0.98

00:30:55.000 Oh, so you were just messing with their smell scents.

00:30:58.000 So it could make it seem like it was worse than it really was.

00:31:01.000 It was making it worse because it smelled worse.

00:31:03.000 So it was making it more like...

00:31:05.000 You could smell it, but...

00:31:07.000 People would just start retching.

00:31:09.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:11.000 It's a ridiculous fucking thing. 1.00

00:31:13.000 It's a ridiculous thing. 1.00

00:31:15.000 That show is really silly. 0.98

00:31:18.000 No, but I love that these people wanted to be famous. 0.73

00:31:21.000 Well, you did it too, bro.

00:31:25.000 No, no, no, no.

00:31:26.000 But I was different.

00:31:28.000 Me too.

00:31:29.000 I was different too.

00:31:30.000 No, because how it happened, I was in Austin, Texas, and there was an ad in the paper that goes, hey, have you ever done anything adventurous?

00:31:37.000 And I was like, no, let me go in for this cast.

00:31:39.000 I was a radio DJ out there at this radio station.

00:31:43.000 So I go in, and then Mikey, they called him the chimp, he was the casting person.

00:31:49.000 Yeah.

00:31:49.000 And literally two weeks later, three weeks later, I'm in Hollywood shooting this thing, and then I meet you.

00:31:54.000 And then I remember going up to you, because I was in awe.

00:31:57.000 It was the first time in Hollywood.

00:31:59.000 And I knew you from news radio.

00:32:00.000 I was like, how do you do it? 1.00

00:32:01.000 And you go, just fucking be yourself. 1.00

00:32:02.000 You can be successful. 1.00

00:32:03.000 And that's what you're doing right now, just fucking being yourself, man. 1.00

00:32:06.000 That's what you're doing too. 0.99

00:32:08.000 We're trying.

00:32:09.000 We're trying, man.

00:32:09.000 You listened.

00:32:10.000 I did listen. 1.00

00:32:11.000 What a ridiculous piece of advice. 0.99

00:32:13.000 Just be yourself. 1.00

00:32:14.000 Good luck.

00:32:16.000 Whatever you do, don't improve.

00:32:19.000 Be who you are right now forever.

00:32:21.000 Good luck.

00:32:22.000 Just be yourself.

00:32:23.000 That's all you need, bro.

00:32:24.000 That's it.

00:32:25.000 Don't let anybody tell you're wrong.

00:32:25.000 Just believe in your dreams.

00:32:26.000 And make a vision board.

00:32:29.000 Joe was just trying to get me out of his face.

00:32:31.000 I'll just be you.

00:32:32.000 All right, bye.

00:32:32.000 That is the right advice, especially if you want to be an entertainer.

00:32:35.000 If you can figure out how to be yourself, as long as yourself is actually something interesting.

00:32:39.000 And if it's not, work on yourself.

00:32:41.000 Yeah, and then you even said that about acting.

00:32:43.000 I remember specifically saying, oh, acting's not hard.

00:32:46.000 It's just you yourself and you play that emotion.

00:32:49.000 And I was like, oh, that sounds easy. 0.97

00:32:52.000 It's easy in comparison to stand up in some ways, but it's not like I disrespect the kind of shit that Daniel Day- Oh, Day-Lewis and Leonardo DiCaprio. 0.98

00:33:02.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:33:03.000 Yeah, when they get into a fucking role and you're like, God damn, that guy just owned that shit. 1.00

00:33:10.000 What I'm talking about is like sitcom acting. 1.00

00:33:11.000 Sitcom acting, yeah.

00:33:13.000 Sitcom acting is so easy.

00:33:15.000 Oh, 100%.

00:33:16.000 It was a slightly dumbed-down version of me, who was into slightly more conspiracy theories than me when I was on news radio.

00:33:24.000 That's all it was.

00:33:24.000 It was basically me.

00:33:25.000 They wrote a lot of that conspiracy shit in after I talked to them about JFK and fucking UFOs and stuff. 0.99

00:33:33.000 You believe in UFOs? 1.00

00:33:34.000 Oh, yeah!

00:33:35.000 Oh my god!

00:33:36.000 Really?

00:33:36.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:37.000 See, I believe in there's other life forms out there, but I don't think they're coming here...

00:33:43.000 They might.

00:33:43.000 Here's the thing.

00:33:44.000 They might.

00:33:45.000 Well, why not think it?

00:33:47.000 Here's one thing I do believe. 1.00

00:33:49.000 Most people are full of shit when it comes to most of their stories. 1.00

00:33:54.000 It's hard to find a person that could just tell you what happened based on what they really remember. 1.00

00:34:00.000 People want to jazz things up and they want to add salt and pepper.

00:34:05.000 Yeah. 0.92

00:34:06.000 Had sex with me, did this, did that. 0.94

00:34:08.000 They don't necessarily tell you the truth.

00:34:11.000 They tell you what they think is going to be an engaging story that kind of represents the truth, maybe.

00:34:18.000 Especially when it's a weird thing like you saw something in the sky.

00:34:21.000 What did you really see?

00:34:22.000 How long did you look at it for?

00:34:24.000 How many seconds was it?

00:34:26.000 Well, I mean, here's the problem I have with UFOs.

00:34:30.000 I believe there are UFOs, but I don't think they're coming here.

00:34:33.000 Why would you say that?

00:34:34.000 First of all, if they're coming here, that means their technology is far, way more advanced than ours.

00:34:40.000 So why would they care if people saw them? 0.98

00:34:43.000 They would show up, if I was an alien and I was that far ahead of us, I would lay in that bitch right in the middle of Times Square and be like, what? 0.99

00:34:51.000 We are here. 0.99

00:34:52.000 But why would you do that?

00:34:53.000 But why wouldn't I? Why am I hiding in fields where nobody can see us?

00:34:58.000 Are you aware of how we treat uncontacted tribes?

00:35:03.000 Yes, to a point.

00:35:05.000 But what I'm saying is, if you're that far advanced, they know.

00:35:09.000 If they're coming here, they know.

00:35:11.000 They're way smarter than us.

00:35:13.000 Because they've traveled here, and we don't even know from far distances we can't even imagine.

00:35:19.000 And they're here, they don't have to hide.

00:35:21.000 But do you think they do it because they have to hide?

00:35:23.000 Or do you think maybe they do it because we can't handle it?

00:35:27.000 Because we can't handle it.

00:35:28.000 Why would they care if we could handle it or not?

00:35:30.000 Because here's the problem.

00:35:31.000 Whenever any civilization has ever encountered a civilization far superior to them, The results have always been catastrophic, every single time.

00:35:43.000 Every time Europeans have invaded North America, every time the Spanish visited the Mexicans, every time this has happened, it's been a disaster, and this is human beings. 0.96

00:35:54.000 If there was something that came down here from another planet and was so unbelievably sophisticated that it could travel through vast distances in space and had insurmountable, impossible technology, We would look to it for all of our answers.

00:36:10.000 It would become our new daddy.

00:36:12.000 It would completely disrupt all of our governments.

00:36:14.000 It would disrupt all of our religions. 0.93

00:36:15.000 It would disrupt every single belief system we have.

00:36:18.000 And people would fall apart.

00:36:20.000 They wouldn't know what to do.

00:36:21.000 Psychologically, it would be devastating.

00:36:23.000 Look, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychologist, but I know most people would not be able to handle it.

00:36:30.000 I understand that, but why would they care?

00:36:32.000 That's my whole point.

00:36:33.000 Why would they care about us?

00:36:34.000 Because it would be affecting our culture.

00:36:36.000 But they wouldn't care.

00:36:37.000 But why wouldn't they care?

00:36:38.000 But why would they care?

00:36:39.000 We care about animals.

00:36:39.000 Yeah.

00:37:00.000 If we cared about a rare monkey that we found in Indonesia, some strange monkey, we would do whatever we could to make sure that monkeys' populations thrived. 1.00

00:37:09.000 If there was a way to help them, I mean, that's one of the reasons why zoos exist.

00:37:13.000 They take rare animals, they try to breed them in captivity.

00:37:16.000 But we're also sharing the same Earth.

00:37:19.000 Well, maybe they look at the universe that way.

00:37:21.000 And maybe they look at nuclear civilizations, like our civilization.

00:37:25.000 I mean, our civilization's a very dangerous one because we're a bunch of semi-hairless monkeys with nuclear weapons. 1.00

00:37:32.000 I mean, we're fucking nuts, bro. 1.00

00:37:33.000 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:37:34.000 And we're obsessed with sex. 0.99

00:37:35.000 We jack off to our phones. 1.00

00:37:37.000 We're taking pills to keep our dick hard. 1.00

00:37:39.000 We're all on speed. 1.00

00:37:40.000 Yeah.

00:37:41.000 We all have ADD. And we lie.

00:37:45.000 We lie about shit. 1.00

00:37:46.000 We lie about things that people did to us. 1.00

00:37:48.000 We pretend people did worse things.

00:37:51.000 We pretend that we didn't do things to people.

00:37:53.000 We lie about stealing.

00:37:55.000 We lie about money.

00:37:56.000 We lie about all kinds of things. 0.99

00:37:57.000 I mean, people are crazy.

00:37:58.000 So you're thinking aliens are thinking about all that before they come down.

00:38:03.000 Of course they would.

00:38:04.000 Why wouldn't they? 0.99

00:38:06.000 I guess I'm coming from a human point of view where we don't give a shit about anything. 0.96

00:38:10.000 But here's the thing, that's not true. 0.99

00:38:11.000 We do give a shit about things. 0.98

00:38:13.000 That's why when you go to the Galapagos Islands, you're not allowed to take your shoes that you walked around Los Angeles and walk around the Galapagos Islands. 0.99

00:38:19.000 Because people have done that, and they've gotten seeds from their shoes stuck in the sand over there, or the ground over there, and then new plants grow that are an invasive species.

00:38:28.000 We're worried about ecosystems.

00:38:30.000 We really are.

00:38:32.000 We're worried about invasive species, when new species get introduced to new ecosystems.

00:38:38.000 We were just talking about this yesterday, Everglades.

00:38:42.000 Like, people are doing whatever the fuck they can to get the pythons out of the Everglades. 1.00

00:38:47.000 These assholes have released pythons. 1.00

00:38:49.000 And there's a real fucking redneck Jurassic Park going on in the middle of Florida. 1.00

00:38:53.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:38:54.000 You know, we care.

00:38:55.000 Yeah, I lived in Miami, man.

00:38:56.000 And at the time, I lived in Miami.

00:38:58.000 Talk about, like...

00:38:58.000 You did radio out there, right?

00:38:59.000 Yeah, Y100 in Miami.

00:39:01.000 That was after Fear Factor.

00:39:02.000 After Fear Factor.

00:39:03.000 It landed me that big gig after...

00:39:05.000 After I was on Fear Factor.

00:39:07.000 Well, radio was radio back then.

00:39:08.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:09.000 It was real.

00:39:09.000 It was huge, man.

00:39:12.000 But I remember they had these lakes.

00:39:15.000 And if you go back 10 years ago and look up Florida, people were just jogging around lakes getting snatched by alligators.

00:39:23.000 Alligators did not give a damn. 0.99

00:39:24.000 They were just snatching people.

00:39:26.000 And I was like, why are people jogging?

00:39:29.000 Why?

00:39:31.000 Literally, I stopped jogging.

00:39:33.000 Well, definitely don't jog near the water.

00:39:35.000 No!

00:39:36.000 And that's the thing.

00:39:37.000 I believe like eight people within six months got snatched just jogging.

00:39:42.000 Is that real?

00:39:43.000 Oh, 100%.

00:39:43.000 Probably about eight to ten years ago.

00:39:46.000 Just jogging.

00:39:47.000 I didn't know that there was that many deaths ever from allegations.

00:39:50.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:50.000 They were getting snatched.

00:39:52.000 One of my favorite ones was a guy who was running from the cops near Miami.

00:39:57.000 And he was in a stolen car, parked his car on a bridge, jumped off the bridge, and landed on an alligator.

00:40:05.000 Alligator jacked him in front of the cops.

00:40:08.000 And they were just sitting there going, well, there you go.

00:40:11.000 Guilty.

00:40:12.000 Can you imagine?

00:40:13.000 The dude jumps off the bridge, splash!

00:40:17.000 Look at this.

00:40:20.000 Oh my god.

00:40:21.000 Dude!

00:40:22.000 Oh, that guy didn't even notice until the last minute.

00:40:24.000 No, that's what I'm saying.

00:40:25.000 Like, that happens in Florida at that time.

00:40:27.000 That is so crazy. 1.00

00:40:28.000 That is such a big thing that eats deer and shit. 1.00

00:40:31.000 Look at it. 1.00

00:40:31.000 Opens its mouth on them. 1.00

00:40:33.000 But meanwhile, it tries to get away from people.

00:40:35.000 Well, what's interesting, the dude didn't even speed up.

00:40:38.000 Yeah.

00:40:38.000 Like, I would have took off.

00:40:40.000 Probably really tired.

00:40:42.000 Been running for a while. 1.00

00:40:44.000 Dude, fuck these things, man. 1.00

00:40:46.000 Fuck these things. 1.00

00:40:47.000 But the craziest thing is, we were showing it yesterday, that pythons eat them. 1.00

00:40:52.000 Alligators?

00:40:52.000 Whole!

00:40:53.000 But not that size, though. 0.99

00:40:54.000 Dude, one python ate this fucking big-ass alligator, and it blew its body apart. 0.98

00:41:00.000 Apparently another alligator came along while it had it in its body and tried to eat the python. 0.99

00:41:04.000 And so then it was like this disaster of a python with an alligator inside of it with no head.

00:41:10.000 Oh, man. 0.92

00:41:11.000 But the whole thing was that this python had ate the alligator, and then once they eat it, they can't move, because they got a fucking 900-pound alligator inside of them. 1.00

00:41:17.000 But you love that shit. 1.00

00:41:18.000 I get a kick out of it. 1.00

00:41:19.000 I know you do.

00:41:20.000 You do.

00:41:20.000 I got a problem with...

00:41:22.000 I just...

00:41:22.000 You love animals eating other animals.

00:41:25.000 I think it's important to recognize that we're... 0.99

00:41:28.000 We're very insulated from what the fuck is going on by cities. 0.99

00:41:32.000 Yes. 0.99

00:41:32.000 And that in houses and cities and even towns, even if you have a town, it's rare that a fucking wild predator makes its way into your town. 0.99

00:41:38.000 But man, that's the whole rest of the world. 0.99

00:41:40.000 That's the whole world, including the ocean.

00:41:42.000 Everywhere is all just predators and prey, predators and prey, predators and prey.

00:41:47.000 We've figured out a way to insulate, but in insulation, the problem is when we're isolated from it, we neglect it as an aspect of nature.

00:41:55.000 We put it in some weird box, like, oh my god, this is weird.

00:41:58.000 No, that's not weird.

00:41:58.000 That's normal.

00:41:59.000 That's normal life.

00:42:00.000 Normal life is big things, eating littler things.

00:42:03.000 And you don't respect it.

00:42:04.000 Got it.

00:42:04.000 You really don't respect it when you don't see it.

00:42:06.000 Like, my parents want to go to Africa on a safari.

00:42:09.000 I'm like, man, you can have that.

00:42:11.000 Yeah, I would go if I got one of them, like, Jurassic Park mobiles that they have that's all the circle.

00:42:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:42:17.000 Where you roll around the circle and you can't get in it.

00:42:20.000 You see these people are just in regular Jeeps?

00:42:22.000 Open air Jeeps.

00:42:23.000 Open air Jeeps where a lion's just walking by. 1.00

00:42:25.000 I was like, how dumb are you? 0.99

00:42:27.000 And most of the time nothing happens. 1.00

00:42:29.000 No, most of the time.

00:42:30.000 But it could be one or two times where if you're in it.

00:42:34.000 Two years ago, a woman who worked on Game of Thrones. 0.99

00:42:36.000 She was there on vacation and she got pulled out of her fucking car. 1.00

00:42:39.000 That's right. 0.99

00:42:39.000 She rolled down the window to take a picture and the cat came and snatched her out of the car. 0.99

00:42:43.000 But don't you think people kind of like that deserve it?

00:42:46.000 Like, people that roll down windows and not safer.

00:42:49.000 Like, that's like people jumping in the pit at the zoo the other day.

00:42:52.000 Well, that's different.

00:42:53.000 The roll down the windows thing, I think, is really just...

00:42:56.000 It's what we're talking about.

00:42:58.000 That you're not around it enough.

00:42:59.000 Yeah.

00:42:59.000 So you don't understand what it is.

00:43:01.000 But do you have to be around it to know, hey, these are wild animals and... 1.00

00:43:04.000 They don't think they can get away with shit. 0.99

00:43:06.000 They've never had anything happen to them. 1.00

00:43:07.000 Like, if they've never been punched...

00:43:09.000 Look at this.

00:43:09.000 This is a cheetah.

00:43:10.000 Cheetahs are actually very curious, and they're not dangerous to people.

00:43:15.000 So this dude has no idea this thing is in his backseat.

00:43:18.000 No, he's filming it.

00:43:19.000 Oh.

00:43:20.000 He's filming it.

00:43:21.000 That's why he's not moving.

00:43:22.000 Is the rule don't move?

00:43:24.000 I think so, man.

00:43:25.000 I think the move is don't move.

00:43:28.000 You don't want to scare him. 1.00

00:43:29.000 You definitely don't want to go, hey, motherfucker! 1.00

00:43:31.000 You don't want to do that and have them fucking rip your face off. 1.00

00:43:35.000 They don't have claws. 1.00

00:43:36.000 They don't have claws like a cat does.

00:43:38.000 They're more like a dog.

00:43:40.000 They're a weird animal.

00:43:41.000 They're like a weird cat-dog thing.

00:43:43.000 They're super, super fast.

00:43:46.000 I've never seen one run in real life, but apparently people who I know that have seen it say, you can't believe how fast it is.

00:43:53.000 You know one thing that blew me away, I was reading about it, that hippopotamuses kill more people a year than all the animals combined.

00:44:00.000 All of them.

00:44:01.000 All of them.

00:44:01.000 Yeah, all of them.

00:44:02.000 And it's just like, people just don't respect hippopotamuses.

00:44:05.000 And they're fast, and they're strong, and they'll rip you apart. 0.99

00:44:10.000 They're like a giant pig. 1.00

00:44:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:12.000 They're in the pig family. 1.00

00:44:13.000 Like a cousin to a pig or some shit. 1.00

00:44:15.000 Yeah, and they're vegetarians. 1.00

00:44:16.000 They're just killing people.

00:44:18.000 Estimated 500 people per year in Africa.

00:44:21.000 They kill 500 people a year.

00:44:24.000 They're aggressive and they have very sharp teeth. 0.92

00:44:26.000 And not only that, man.

00:44:27.000 2,750 kilograms.

00:44:30.000 What?

00:44:30.000 What is that?

00:44:31.000 What's that in pounds?

00:44:33.000 That's more than 5,000 pounds.

00:44:35.000 Yeah, 2.2 times that.

00:44:36.000 Oh, my God.

00:44:38.000 Well, people don't respect it because they think they're slow, too.

00:44:41.000 So when they see them, I think they run like 24 or 25 miles per hour where a person that runs a 100-yard dash in the Olympics, I think average around like 29 to 30 miles per hour.

00:44:52.000 So you're barely getting away.

00:44:53.000 Oh, 19 miles.

00:44:55.000 Okay, so that's still fast.

00:44:56.000 Yeah, you're barely getting away.

00:44:58.000 Well, that's me.

00:44:58.000 I probably can't run 19 miles an hour.

00:45:00.000 I know, I couldn't.

00:45:01.000 I'll probably get eaten. 1.00

00:45:03.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:45:03.000 Can you imagine? 1.00

00:45:04.000 You're like 20 yards away from this thing, and you're like, ah, it's not gonna...

00:45:07.000 And then it just runs up on you.

00:45:08.000 Well, they say if you ever get chased by an alligator, too, the thing is to juke them.

00:45:12.000 Go left and go right.

00:45:14.000 Oh, my God!

00:45:15.000 Yeah, that picture's terrifying, man.

00:45:17.000 Oh, my God!

00:45:18.000 That one scares the shit out of me. 0.99

00:45:20.000 That scares the shit out of me. 0.97

00:45:21.000 I mean, look at that guy. 0.54

00:45:22.000 He's airborne.

00:45:24.000 He's launching himself in the air, trying to get away from that thing.

00:45:29.000 Look at that!

00:45:29.000 Yeah, they chase after boats in the water.

00:45:31.000 They swim fast. 1.00

00:45:32.000 Yeah, they try to fuck you up, man. 1.00

00:45:34.000 They try to fuck you up. 1.00

00:45:35.000 500 people a year, dude. 1.00

00:45:37.000 Hippos.

00:45:37.000 Husband sees hippo bite out wife's heart.

00:45:41.000 What?!

00:45:41.000 Oh my god.

00:45:43.000 Oh my god. 0.97

00:45:45.000 Imagine your wife falls into the water and you see the hippo rip open her ribcage. 0.91

00:45:49.000 I would be a hippo punisher.

00:45:52.000 I would go back to Africa every year. 1.00

00:45:54.000 And kill every one of them. 1.00

00:45:55.000 I'd kill every one of them. 1.00

00:45:56.000 I'd be responsible for hippo extinction. 1.00

00:45:58.000 They'd be like, you can't do that.

00:45:59.000 I'd be like, but I'm gonna.

00:46:02.000 Come stop me. 0.99

00:46:03.000 I'm killing all the hippos. 0.99

00:46:05.000 Why not? 1.00

00:46:06.000 I'm killing all the snakes. 1.00

00:46:07.000 If anyone I knew got killed the first day that something gets killed by a fucking python in Florida, when a human gets jacked, we should send in the marines. 1.00

00:46:17.000 Just go through the fucking swamp and kill them all. 1.00

00:46:20.000 They're the enemy. 1.00

00:46:22.000 You just get a giant line of human beings, go through and kill those fucking serpents. 1.00

00:46:27.000 They're in the Bible, okay? 1.00

00:46:29.000 They're in the Bible.

00:46:30.000 Snakes will eat your baby. 1.00

00:46:32.000 They will. 1.00

00:46:33.000 You go through, you kill them all. 1.00

00:46:36.000 Don't get cocky with monsters living in your fucking neighborhood. 1.00

00:46:40.000 Is there any purpose of them, though? 1.00

00:46:42.000 Yeah, they kill rats. 0.99

00:46:43.000 But the problem is, in that area, it's not established for them.

00:46:47.000 So there was this rich ecosystem of mammals and reptiles.

00:46:50.000 So you're talking about Everglades right now?

00:46:51.000 Yeah.

00:46:51.000 Okay.

00:46:52.000 It used to be there were some snakes, like cottonmouths and stuff like that, and there was alligators, but then there was like marsh hares and raccoons and skunks.

00:47:01.000 Gone!

00:47:02.000 They're all gone!

00:47:03.000 They're gone.

00:47:04.000 There's nothing left.

00:47:05.000 There's just anacondas and pythons and Nile crocodiles.

00:47:11.000 Look at that. 0.99

00:47:11.000 There's another one eating a fucking alligator. 0.99

00:47:13.000 Well, let me ask you something. 1.00

00:47:14.000 And be honest with me.

00:47:15.000 If that guy got eaten, like a guy that actually tracks these reptiles, do you feel sorry for him?

00:47:21.000 Like, if you're putting yourself in harm's way.

00:47:23.000 Yeah, because I want that guy to be out there. 1.00

00:47:26.000 I want that guy to kill those goddamn monsters. 1.00

00:47:28.000 If you ever look into an eye of a snake and you go, oh, this thing doesn't give a fuck about anybody. 1.00

00:47:33.000 It doesn't. 0.98

00:47:34.000 I was watching this video of a crab, and it's a mother crab just sitting there eating its babies.

00:47:40.000 It had, like, thousands of babies all around it that had just hatched, like, a couple weeks ago, and it's just sitting there eating its babies. 1.00

00:47:47.000 And I'm like, yeah, yeah, fuck you. 1.00

00:47:49.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:47:50.000 You're going in the boiling water, and I'm going to crack you open. 1.00

00:47:53.000 Have you ever heard them scream when they go in the boiling water?

00:47:55.000 Scrap scream? 0.92

00:47:55.000 Oh, yeah. 0.92

00:47:57.000 I don't think they're really screaming.

00:47:58.000 I think it's probably air escaping their body. 1.00

00:48:00.000 Look at this cunt eating their kids. 1.00

00:48:02.000 Look at her. 1.00

00:48:03.000 She's eating her kids. 1.00

00:48:04.000 This is crazy.

00:48:05.000 I was at a friend's house and they caught crabs and they would throw them in.

00:48:09.000 And I think they scream, man.

00:48:10.000 I think it's like...

00:48:11.000 They have vocal cords.

00:48:13.000 What is the name of this video, Jamie, for people that are just listening?

00:48:16.000 It says, Monster Red Crab Eats Babies, The Dark Side of Nature.

00:48:20.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:21.000 She's an asshole. 1.00

00:48:22.000 I'm telling you, Joe. 1.00

00:48:23.000 Do you think they really make noise?

00:48:24.000 They make a noise when you put them in a hot, boiling pot of water.

00:48:28.000 What is the bottom of her?

00:48:29.000 She's got a charcoal briquette stuck under her. 0.99

00:48:32.000 Doesn't that look like one of them easy light?

00:48:34.000 That's where that came from.

00:48:36.000 They came from that sack.

00:48:37.000 She eats them and they come right back out. 0.94

00:48:38.000 That is so gross. 1.00

00:48:40.000 She's such an asshole. 1.00

00:48:41.000 She's just sitting there eating her kids. 1.00

00:48:43.000 You're like, that anybody would give a fuck about crabs. 0.99

00:48:45.000 You know? 0.99

00:48:46.000 I mean, it's not like I want them to go extinct, but that's one animal that we, in our house, kill ourselves and no one has a problem with it.

00:48:55.000 Like, if they brought them a rabbit and you had to throw it in the water like fatal attraction, if that was the only way to keep...

00:49:01.000 Nobody would eat rabbits.

00:49:02.000 No, no, no, no.

00:49:03.000 And we throw them in like...

00:49:05.000 Alive.

00:49:06.000 Alive.

00:49:08.000 I'm telling you, they're in the water like, ah!

00:49:10.000 Yeah, most of the time, most people don't even bother taking off the rubber band.

00:49:13.000 And lobsters.

00:49:14.000 We do not give a shit about lobsters. 1.00

00:49:16.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:49:16.000 Get in there. 1.00

00:49:17.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:49:18.000 Get in there. 1.00

00:49:19.000 Get in there, you fucking bug. 1.00

00:49:21.000 You sea bug. 1.00

00:49:24.000 What's crazy is this whole Animal Kingdom thing, but one thing that scares me that you were doing when I walked in is playing these fucking shooter games. 1.00

00:49:32.000 Dude, that game is a real problem. 0.98

00:49:34.000 Jamie and I have been going to war for the last, what, two months?

00:49:40.000 When did this start?

00:49:40.000 Like two months ago?

00:49:41.000 Yeah, maybe like that.

00:49:42.000 I'm in full-blown addiction mode now.

00:49:45.000 But what is the thrill?

00:49:47.000 What's the thrill?

00:49:48.000 Yes!

00:49:49.000 Do you see us?

00:49:49.000 We're all sweaty and adrenaline.

00:49:51.000 We're having a great-ass time.

00:49:52.000 I walked in.

00:49:53.000 It looks like I just finished working out.

00:49:55.000 It was like crazy.

00:49:55.000 Jamie and I were going to war.

00:49:56.000 We go to war. 1.00

00:49:57.000 We talk a lot of shit, too. 1.00

00:49:58.000 We go to war. 1.00

00:50:00.000 I tried.

00:50:03.000 It's fun.

00:50:04.000 It's fun. 1.00

00:50:04.000 When he kills me, he talks shit to me. 1.00

00:50:06.000 It's rough. 1.00

00:50:06.000 You're like, God damn it, he got me. 1.00

00:50:08.000 Fuckers. 1.00

00:50:09.000 Is that a game where people can go online and play with you, too? 1.00

00:50:11.000 No, we don't play with other people.

00:50:14.000 No, we jump online.

00:50:15.000 This is the game, though.

00:50:16.000 This is it?

00:50:16.000 This is the game.

00:50:16.000 Yeah, dude, it is a fun-ass fucking game.

00:50:19.000 It's called Quake Champions. 0.99

00:50:20.000 Okay. 0.97

00:50:21.000 And people right now listening are going, God damn it, he's talking about that again. 0.92

00:50:25.000 But me and Jamie have been, and Jeff, our other employee, have been playing this See, this isn't bad because they're like characters. 0.98

00:50:34.000 I was playing one where it's like human beings.

00:50:37.000 When you shoot somebody, I got scared.

00:50:40.000 When you get scared to go into the next room because you're really that nervous, it freaks me out.

00:50:46.000 These shooter games are too realistic.

00:50:47.000 I grew up with Frogger, dude.

00:50:49.000 This is like, you're always in some sort of a castle, and the people that you're shooting against, they don't look anything like a person.

00:50:56.000 They look like some weird cartoon character, but the graphics are sensational.

00:51:00.000 But more importantly, the gameplay is very precise, and you have to have real hand-eye coordination and skills.

00:51:09.000 You learn things like tactics.

00:51:11.000 You learn how to move around maps.

00:51:13.000 You learn how to control resources.

00:51:15.000 Controlling resources is giant.

00:51:16.000 Like that thing that guy just picked up, that's like 175 health.

00:51:20.000 And you want to get all the armor that you possibly can.

00:51:23.000 Then you also want to be clever about weapons choices because you're always engaging at different distances, different kinds of fights.

00:51:30.000 Sometimes you're stuck in a corridor and sometimes you're in an area where they can't shoot you but you can shoot them if you use the right weapon.

00:51:39.000 Man, you need to bring it back to old school.

00:51:41.000 Atari, that one red button, that one red button did everything on the joystick.

00:51:47.000 No, you never killed a guy with a railgun. 0.87

00:51:50.000 Once you kill a guy with a railgun, you'll understand. 0.89

00:51:52.000 I don't want to kill a guy with a real gun. 0.98

00:51:54.000 But it's not a real person.

00:51:55.000 I mean, he's laughing while you do it. 0.90

00:51:57.000 When I shoot Jamie, if he jumps at me and I shoot him in midair with a railgun, you both laugh. 0.95

00:52:03.000 He shot me in the face the other day with a rocket. 0.98

00:52:06.000 And I was like, oh dude, in the mug.

00:52:09.000 I was like, in the mug.

00:52:10.000 Like right in my face and I exploded.

00:52:12.000 Like my whole screen just becomes a big red splatter. 1.00

00:52:14.000 I'm like, fuck. 0.99

00:52:15.000 It's fun. 1.00

00:52:16.000 I can't handle it, man.

00:52:18.000 It's too much for me. 0.88

00:52:19.000 The older I get, I'm just a puss, man. 0.90

00:52:21.000 I need a man up. 0.91

00:52:22.000 I used to be so aggressive.

00:52:24.000 Well, you're a big dude.

00:52:24.000 You're strong.

00:52:25.000 That's why nobody messes with me. 1.00

00:52:26.000 Oh, so they leave you alone, so you become a pussy because of it. 1.00

00:52:29.000 You know what it's like? 1.00

00:52:31.000 You fight and all that stuff.

00:52:35.000 If somebody punched me in the face today, I don't know how I would react.

00:52:39.000 I used to be a bouncer at clubs.

00:52:42.000 I played college football.

00:52:43.000 I was a tough dude.

00:52:45.000 You're falling apart.

00:52:46.000 Gotta get you to a gym.

00:52:48.000 No, no, no.

00:52:49.000 I'm in shape.

00:52:49.000 But I mean like a fight gym.

00:52:51.000 No, no.

00:52:51.000 Why?

00:52:52.000 No.

00:52:52.000 Learn how to fight a little bit.

00:52:53.000 No!

00:52:54.000 Not to fight people.

00:52:55.000 Why do you?

00:52:56.000 So you don't worry about it.

00:52:57.000 I never worry about it.

00:52:59.000 Okay, well then don't worry about it.

00:53:00.000 Because I'm at home at 8.30.

00:53:02.000 Why do you do stand-up?

00:53:04.000 I know.

00:53:04.000 I saw you at the improv the other night.

00:53:06.000 Nobody's going to jump on stage.

00:53:07.000 I'm talking about family.

00:53:09.000 You never know, man.

00:53:09.000 You never know.

00:53:10.000 People are crazy.

00:53:10.000 That dude jumped up on the WWF and attacked...

00:53:14.000 Who did he attack?

00:53:15.000 Bret Hart.

00:53:16.000 He attacked Bret Hart.

00:53:17.000 During his speech.

00:53:18.000 That's crazy.

00:53:19.000 Bret Hart has got to be like, how old does he know?

00:53:20.000 He's 61 and he's a stroke survivor. 1.00

00:53:22.000 So fucked up. 1.00

00:53:23.000 And the guy tackled him. 1.00

00:53:24.000 Jesus Christ.

00:53:25.000 But Joe, seriously, you think anybody's going to jump on stage when you're on?

00:53:28.000 Some dude could easily. 1.00

00:53:30.000 Dude, you would fucking kill him. 1.00

00:53:31.000 No, there's a lot of people that can kill me. 1.00

00:53:33.000 Don't get confused. 0.94

00:53:35.000 I know a lot of them.

00:53:36.000 Dude, I have them in here all the time.

00:53:38.000 Yeah, I get that, but I just don't see me doing stand-up talking about family and love, and a dude goes, I hate family and love.

00:53:46.000 I'm going to jump up there.

00:53:47.000 No, it's not rational.

00:53:48.000 No, you're right.

00:53:49.000 I mean, a rational person wouldn't do that, but you're not worried about rational people anyway.

00:53:53.000 Okay, so say I started to go to a fight gym.

00:53:56.000 Like, where would I start at?

00:53:58.000 Like, what would I do?

00:53:59.000 I would say you should try jujitsu, because it's fun, it's a really good exercise, and you'll learn some stuff.

00:54:04.000 Okay.

00:54:05.000 You'll learn how to do it.

00:54:06.000 It's a technique-based art.

00:54:08.000 Whereas, like, say if...

00:54:11.000 There's guys that I will do jujitsu sparring, we call rolling.

00:54:15.000 There's guys that I will roll with that are weaker than me, smaller than me, and tap me every time I roll with them.

00:54:21.000 And I'm a black belt.

00:54:22.000 That's reality.

00:54:24.000 There's guys out there that are 150 pounds that I can roll with that I know will tap me virtually every time we roll.

00:54:29.000 Because their technique is sharper, they train more often than I am, they're more focused, they're more in the groove.

00:54:35.000 But I also heard you say, like on one of your podcasts, you've got to watch out who you train with because they might just try to hurt you.

00:54:41.000 That's true.

00:54:41.000 You've got to go to a good school with good ethics.

00:54:44.000 Because a good school with good ethics, they get rid of those guys.

00:54:46.000 Do you know one in Studio City?

00:54:48.000 I'll do it.

00:54:49.000 Sure, I'll get you a spot.

00:54:50.000 I'll find you a spot.

00:54:50.000 I'll do it.

00:54:51.000 I want to learn.

00:54:52.000 There's a good spot.

00:54:53.000 Just a little further than that, in Tarzana, Machado's, where I got my black belt.

00:54:57.000 It's John Jacques Machado.

00:54:58.000 I train there sometimes.

00:55:00.000 And he used to have a place in Malibu, but it closed down because of the fires.

00:55:04.000 But they have an outstanding gym.

00:55:07.000 It's like one of the best in the country, and it's in that area.

00:55:10.000 As far as teaching...

00:55:11.000 Yeah.

00:55:11.000 Top-notch.

00:55:12.000 But there's a lot of really good jujitsu schools now.

00:55:16.000 It's not like...

00:55:17.000 When I started in 96, it was hard to find a good gym.

00:55:22.000 There was only five of them in all of California, right?

00:55:25.000 Because it was just starting out.

00:55:27.000 It was like 93 is when jujitsu sort of emerged in the public consciousness because of the UFC. And then the gym started popping up.

00:55:34.000 Popping up.

00:55:35.000 I was really lucky.

00:55:35.000 There was Hicks and Gracie's, which is where I took my first class, and then Carlson Gracie's.

00:55:40.000 I thought they were the same, and the other one was closer, so I just switched to Carlson's. 0.97

00:55:43.000 I didn't know shit. 0.99

00:55:44.000 It was a white belt. 0.99

00:55:46.000 And then there was Machado's, and then a couple other places.

00:55:48.000 How long does it take you to get to a black belt?

00:55:51.000 Like for you?

00:55:52.000 It took me a long time.

00:55:53.000 I was a brown belt for eight years.

00:55:55.000 But it was just because I wasn't training as much as I should have.

00:55:58.000 They don't give them away.

00:56:00.000 You have to be a real black belt. 0.82

00:56:02.000 But who decides?

00:56:04.000 Somebody just watches you?

00:56:05.000 Instructors.

00:56:05.000 People know.

00:56:07.000 Everyone knows. 1.00

00:56:09.000 You know when a guy is fucking killing... 0.99

00:56:12.000 Let's take Theo Vaughn, for example. 0.99

00:56:15.000 I love him.

00:56:16.000 I love him.

00:56:17.000 He hit a groove some time ago, whether it's two years ago or whatever it was. 0.99

00:56:21.000 And I remember being in the back of the store and I was like, dude, this motherfucker's on fire. 0.98

00:56:26.000 He started hitting that groove where you go and sit down and you want to watch his set. 0.98

00:56:32.000 And I think when that happens in jujitsu, it's the same kind of thing.

00:56:36.000 Guys start talking about like, dude, Mike has been tapping everybody.

00:56:39.000 Uh-huh.

00:56:40.000 Dude, his jiu-jitsu is so sharp.

00:56:43.000 And you're like, man, I'm going to watch him roll.

00:56:44.000 And then you watch him roll, and you're like, dude, that pass, that guard pass.

00:56:47.000 And guys start asking, like, how often are you training?

00:56:49.000 I'm going five days a week now.

00:56:50.000 Really?

00:56:51.000 Yeah, and I'm taking two privates. 1.00

00:56:52.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:56:53.000 And then you know, like, this guy is on the quest. 1.00

00:56:56.000 And you'll see a guy go from white belt to black belt in three years, but they have to be super exceptional.

00:57:03.000 Like really unusual athletes, unusual mindset, unusual discipline.

00:57:08.000 It can happen.

00:57:09.000 Most of the time, like a garden variety estimate is like 10 years is realistic.

00:57:14.000 Okay.

00:57:15.000 From white belt to black belt for a regular person.

00:57:17.000 If you really train hard and you really dedicate yourself.

00:57:20.000 But freaks can get there quicker. 0.98

00:57:21.000 Like BJ Penn, he won the Mundials, which is the World Championships, after three years of training.

00:57:27.000 Three years of training, he was a black belt, won the World Championships.

00:57:29.000 I won't be doing that.

00:57:30.000 Do you?

00:57:30.000 BJ's a special guy, though.

00:57:32.000 He's also got legs that are like arms.

00:57:34.000 He has leg dexterity like no one on the planet.

00:57:37.000 Yeah, I got chicken legs.

00:57:39.000 That's actually good.

00:57:40.000 Is it really?

00:57:41.000 Yeah.

00:57:42.000 You could cinch up triangles on people with chicken legs.

00:57:45.000 Yeah, for real.

00:57:47.000 I'll be cinching up people everywhere there.

00:57:48.000 If you just think about it in terms of leverage, guys with longer limbs like Hodger Gracie is a perfect example.

00:57:56.000 He's a really tall, long guy.

00:57:57.000 He's one of the best jiu-jitsu players ever.

00:57:59.000 They can do things with those limbs that a shorter person can't do in terms of leverage from joints and stuff like that.

00:58:07.000 There's advantages to every frame.

00:58:10.000 There's a guy like Husamar Palhara is a famous...

00:58:13.000 Yeah.

00:58:29.000 That style heavily favors being built like a little tank. 0.69

00:58:33.000 Whereas that long, like you are, you're a tall, long guy, you would have good darse chokes, good rear nakeds, good arm bars, good triangles.

00:58:44.000 You would have length and leverage with that length. 0.69

00:58:47.000 Especially with triangles.

00:58:48.000 Because long-legged guys, sometimes a guy like me with short legs, I'll get my legs crossed and I have to adjust a lot to be able to cinch up by triangle.

00:58:58.000 Whereas you might be able to just close it up right there.

00:59:00.000 So you'll have more opportunities for triangles because of the length of your limbs.

00:59:05.000 Would you have ever been at a point in your career when you were doing jiu-jitsu where you...

00:59:11.000 How would you have been in the UFC? Like, at your prime, like...

00:59:16.000 I have no idea.

00:59:17.000 I have no idea.

00:59:18.000 I would have had to have gotten way better.

00:59:21.000 Like, when I was fighting, I was just kickboxing.

00:59:23.000 Yeah.

00:59:23.000 I was kickboxing, and first it was Taekwondo, and then I went to kickboxing, and by the time the UFC came around, like, on the ground, I was useless.

00:59:31.000 Okay.

00:59:32.000 I was a straight white belt.

00:59:33.000 I would get ripped apart every day. 0.98

00:59:35.000 I would go to the gym, and if I tapped anybody, like, if it was, like, a week went by, and I tapped one guy, I'd be like, woo, I fucking tapped a guy. 0.95

00:59:43.000 Yeah. 0.54

00:59:44.000 I wasn't tapping anybody.

00:59:45.000 There wasn't that many people doing it.

00:59:47.000 So I was going with like, there was a couple of white belts maybe, and then there was like blue belts and purple belts and brown belts, and those guys would always tap me.

00:59:54.000 And so that's just how it went for a long time.

00:59:58.000 Unless you're some kind of freak, like some big-ass football player or some super athlete, you're probably not going to be able to hold these guys off.

01:00:05.000 They're going to choke you. 0.82

01:00:07.000 Now, was it true you were going to fight Wesley Snipes?

01:00:10.000 That was way later, though.

01:00:11.000 Way later.

01:00:12.000 That was a brown belt by then, and I'd been doing a lot of training.

01:00:14.000 Would you have beaten him?

01:00:15.000 I don't know, because we never did it.

01:00:18.000 You never did it, right?

01:00:18.000 He's a real martial artist.

01:00:20.000 Okay.

01:00:20.000 He's a real martial artist, but he doesn't know jiu-jitsu.

01:00:23.000 The thing is- But that must have been exciting, though, for you to train.

01:00:25.000 It was super exciting.

01:00:25.000 Yeah.

01:00:27.000 I knew that he was a real, legitimate martial artist.

01:00:30.000 Like, he throws kicks and punches, and it looks really good. 1.00

01:00:33.000 Like, he really does know his shit. 0.99

01:00:35.000 But I also know he never fought. 0.99

01:00:37.000 And there's a big difference between throwing kicks, and I haven't fought in a long time, but I probably fought a hundred times.

01:00:45.000 Yeah.

01:00:45.000 So I've felt that nerves.

01:00:48.000 I know what that's like. 0.97

01:00:49.000 It'll be crazy as fuck to do it again. 0.98

01:00:52.000 That's what I was thinking. 0.98

01:00:53.000 It'll probably scare the shit out of me. 0.87

01:00:55.000 But I think I know what to do. 0.86

01:00:57.000 I think I know how to get in there and start fainting and start giving some movement and see how he reacts.

01:01:03.000 And then the worst case scenario is I'm like, in a scramble, I'm going to strangle this guy.

01:01:07.000 If this comes to a scramble...

01:01:09.000 Because the average person really doesn't know how helpless they are until a jujitsu black belt grabs ahold of you. 1.00

01:01:18.000 And then you just go, oh shit! 1.00

01:01:20.000 Like, I'm helpless. 1.00

01:01:22.000 Because in a fight, you really think like you might be able to punch a guy.

01:01:26.000 Like, maybe if he's running me, and he's swinging at me, and I'm swinging at him, maybe I hit him first.

01:01:30.000 You really think that.

01:01:31.000 But there's no swinging.

01:01:33.000 If it's a jiu-jitsu fight, if you guys get into some sort of a tussle, and that guy grabs you and trips you, and boom, and he's on the ground with his hand on your jacket and a knee on your chest, you're a dead man. 0.68

01:01:45.000 You're a dead man.

01:01:46.000 Because there's no lucky shots. 1.00

01:01:48.000 A jujitsu black belt is just going to close the distance like that evil fucking crab and he's just going to squeeze your fucking neck. 0.99

01:01:57.000 And there's no way you're going to avoid it and there's no way you're going to survive it. 1.00

01:02:00.000 You're just not going to.

01:02:01.000 That's why you don't fight people.

01:02:03.000 Well, definitely don't fight people.

01:02:05.000 You can't fight random people on the streets.

01:02:07.000 When you're young, that was the thing.

01:02:08.000 You could go to bars.

01:02:09.000 I had some friends that liked to throw down when I was younger, and I wouldn't do it.

01:02:15.000 I was watching, but now it's kind of like you've got to watch everybody because you don't know what kind of training they're doing.

01:02:20.000 Everybody's so educated on it, and it's so big right now.

01:02:23.000 Well, some guy fought off a guy in the subway that was attacking with a knife with some moves that he learned watching the UFC. He never even trained before.

01:02:31.000 He just knew what to do.

01:02:33.000 He knew what to do because he'd seen guys get the mount and drop ground and pound.

01:02:38.000 He knew what to do based on watching it.

01:02:41.000 Yeah.

01:02:41.000 I think it's good, like, when you mention it, I think it's good just to learn so you would feel better about yourself in case danger comes.

01:02:49.000 Yeah, man.

01:02:50.000 You want to be the person that gets to make the decision.

01:02:53.000 Here's the thing, right? 1.00

01:02:54.000 If you don't know how to fight and there's some drunk asshole who doesn't know how to fight either, but he might come over and punch you in the face and sucker punch you and he could hurt you or knock you out in front of your woman... 1.00

01:03:03.000 We're good to go. 1.00

01:03:25.000 We've all seen these 7-Eleven fucking parking lot fights on YouTube where some asshole, and both of them don't know how to fight, but one guy might fuck that guy up. 1.00

01:03:33.000 He might kick him in the face while he's down. 1.00

01:03:35.000 You don't want to be that guy. 0.68

01:03:36.000 You don't want to be in that situation and definitely walk away whenever you can.

01:03:40.000 Always.

01:03:41.000 We are so opposite, because I've only been in one fight in my life.

01:03:45.000 It was in ninth grade, playing basketball, and it was against a dude named Matama.

01:03:51.000 His name is Matama Drake.

01:03:53.000 And I threw one punch, and I hit him right in the face, and he looks at me and goes, what's up?

01:03:59.000 And I was like, no, no.

01:04:03.000 Oh no!

01:04:07.000 We're good.

01:04:08.000 Did he let you get away with it?

01:04:10.000 Oh yeah, we started playing basketball.

01:04:12.000 Thank God.

01:04:12.000 Wow, that's it?

01:04:13.000 That was it. 0.89

01:04:14.000 Literally, I hit him as hard as I could. 0.99

01:04:17.000 That guy could take a shot. 0.95

01:04:17.000 Oh, and he was just like, what's up? 0.95

01:04:19.000 I was like, nothing.

01:04:20.000 Nothing is up.

01:04:22.000 And he didn't hit you back?

01:04:23.000 No.

01:04:24.000 Wow.

01:04:25.000 No, because then I started, you know, oh, okay, it's your ball.

01:04:28.000 That's a confident man, though.

01:04:30.000 Yeah.

01:04:30.000 To not try to get you back.

01:04:31.000 I mean, and then I was, there was a club in Houston named Power Tools that I used to- Is that a gay bar?

01:04:36.000 No.

01:04:37.000 Should be.

01:04:37.000 No, no, no.

01:04:38.000 Should be, right?

01:04:39.000 It sounds like one. 0.99

01:04:40.000 Sounds like a hardcore gay bar. 0.55

01:04:41.000 In Houston, the gay bar was called Riches at the time. 0.91

01:04:44.000 But I worked at Power Tools and I was a bouncer.

01:04:47.000 So that's when I was like 250 pounds.

01:04:51.000 You were a lot bigger when I met you.

01:04:52.000 Oh yeah, because I played college football for Arkansas.

01:04:55.000 So I played outside linebacker.

01:04:57.000 So did you just stop lifting weights or do you still look a little bit...

01:05:00.000 No, I'm all cardio now because, you know, like trainers, any trainer I work with, since I got a big frame, they're like, well, put some sides.

01:05:06.000 No, I want to stay lean.

01:05:08.000 Right.

01:05:08.000 You know, but...

01:05:09.000 That's good for old age, too, man.

01:05:10.000 You don't want back problems.

01:05:12.000 Like, I'm 44 years old now.

01:05:13.000 Yeah.

01:05:14.000 Isn't that crazy, dude?

01:05:15.000 Dude, what?

01:05:15.000 Time flies.

01:05:16.000 I'm 51. See?

01:05:19.000 55-0!

01:05:20.000 Dude, and it's so scary when you read stories about people just dropping dead, like around your age.

01:05:25.000 Luke Perry.

01:05:26.000 That's what I'm saying, man.

01:05:27.000 Basically my age.

01:05:28.000 Well, they said what is the danger zone is like 45 to 55 with heart failure.

01:05:33.000 It's like crazy.

01:05:35.000 Oh, man.

01:05:36.000 Dude, I beat my body up. 1.00

01:05:38.000 I'm running that bitch until the fucking wheels fall off. 1.00

01:05:41.000 I'm always getting stem cell shots and I'm fucking running hills and lifting weights. 1.00

01:05:46.000 I still lift heavy weights. 1.00

01:05:47.000 I'm retarded. 0.95

01:05:48.000 I shouldn't say that word. 0.98

01:05:50.000 I said it again.

01:05:51.000 I'm trying to get rid of that word out of my vocabulary.

01:05:53.000 It just comes out sometimes.

01:05:54.000 Why are you still lifting weights?

01:05:56.000 Heavy like that.

01:05:57.000 What does it do for you?

01:05:58.000 Well, it does a bunch of things.

01:06:00.000 First of all, if you want to train jiu-jitsu, it's very good to be strong.

01:06:03.000 It makes a big difference.

01:06:04.000 First of all, for defense.

01:06:05.000 Especially for defense.

01:06:07.000 For offense, for sure, too.

01:06:09.000 But really, you want to be able to defend.

01:06:12.000 You have to be strong.

01:06:13.000 But also, you just like being bigger.

01:06:15.000 It helps.

01:06:15.000 I like it.

01:06:17.000 Yeah, I like being able to pick up things.

01:06:18.000 I like the physical ability of being strong.

01:06:20.000 I like being in shape, too.

01:06:22.000 I like being able to run for long distances.

01:06:24.000 I like knowing that I can go rounds on the bag.

01:06:26.000 I'll do five hard rounds on the bag.

01:06:29.000 So you can run.

01:06:30.000 My knees are messed up.

01:06:31.000 I can't get on a treadmill and run.

01:06:33.000 I've done the stem and the knee, and it's helped out a lot, but I'm still that dude that's on the elliptical.

01:06:39.000 I'm super fortunate.

01:06:39.000 I'm super fortunate about my knee injuries.

01:06:41.000 I've had knee injuries, but my meniscus, I only had one meniscus scope on my left knee, and it wasn't terrible.

01:06:47.000 I was back to full 100% function after that.

01:06:50.000 And my right knee, I didn't.

01:06:51.000 I have a little baby tear that I got some stem cells shot into, but I had both of them reconstructed.

01:06:56.000 Their ACLs were replaced.

01:06:58.000 But no problems.

01:06:59.000 They work great.

01:07:00.000 Yeah, see, I just need to...

01:07:02.000 I listen to you, and it's like you're always taking something.

01:07:06.000 And I'm like, oh, I've got to find out what that is.

01:07:08.000 And now I just want to get in better shape.

01:07:11.000 I'm in shape, but when you get older, it's just tough.

01:07:14.000 It is tough.

01:07:15.000 The key is writing it down like you have to do it. 0.99

01:07:19.000 Do you keep a daily schedule of shit you have to do? 0.99

01:07:21.000 No, I just wake up and go. 0.99

01:07:23.000 I do have, I wake up, I work out, like a cardio workout, and then I do infrared sauna, which has changed my life.

01:07:30.000 Changed your life, right?

01:07:31.000 Every morning I infrared sauna for an hour.

01:07:33.000 You feel amazing.

01:07:33.000 It's the best.

01:07:35.000 You sweat all that shit out. 0.99

01:07:36.000 You feel great. 1.00

01:07:37.000 Your skin glistens. 0.99

01:07:40.000 I think it's actually changed the game for me.

01:07:43.000 I have more energy now.

01:07:45.000 Everything's better.

01:07:46.000 It's so good for your body.

01:07:47.000 They did a study that showed a 40% decrease in mortality amongst all causes.

01:07:53.000 Heart attack, stroke, cancer.

01:07:55.000 40% decrease with people that were doing the sauna four times a week.

01:07:58.000 Well, I will tell you this, because the whole thing is, everybody wants to feel young.

01:08:02.000 And when you were young, the thing you did most was sweat.

01:08:06.000 And I feel like when I sweat, it just feels, I don't know, I just feel good sweating because it reminds me when I played sports, it reminds me, even though I'm not doing on the, you know, I sweat a little on the treadmill, but when I do that infrared sign, it makes me feel great and young. 0.98

01:08:21.000 I think there's a bunch of shit going on, but there's that for sure. 0.67

01:08:24.000 Like, it's good to feel good, like you're sweating. 0.99

01:08:25.000 But there's heat shock proteins.

01:08:27.000 Your body actually produces anti-inflammatory properties.

01:08:30.000 It's really good for you.

01:08:31.000 It's really good for joint aches and all kinds of stuff.

01:08:34.000 I used to think of the sauna as being nonsense. 0.99

01:08:36.000 Like, what are you fucking laying in the sauna for? 0.99

01:08:38.000 Like, what are you doing there? 1.00

01:08:39.000 Just getting hot?

01:08:39.000 Yeah.

01:08:40.000 Let's go work out, pussy. 1.00

01:08:40.000 But what kind of sauna do you do, though? 1.00

01:08:42.000 I do a regular sauna.

01:08:43.000 Just a super hot regular sauna.

01:08:46.000 I'm telling you, you need to try the infrared.

01:08:47.000 Yeah, you can.

01:08:48.000 But look, it's all just about getting your body hot.

01:08:51.000 It's good to try the infrared, I'm sure.

01:08:53.000 I'm sure it works great.

01:08:53.000 But this study, the 40% decrease in mortality, that was with a regular sauna.

01:08:58.000 Okay, yeah.

01:08:58.000 Yeah, that's why I got a regular sauna, because Dr. Rhonda Patrick told me that the studies that have been done have all been done with a regular sauna.

01:09:06.000 And she said there might be some benefit for infrared sauna, but I don't know what's published.

01:09:11.000 See if there's a benefit.

01:09:13.000 See if they can say what's the benefit to infrared sauna.

01:09:16.000 I'm probably cooking my organs.

01:09:16.000 I don't even know it.

01:09:17.000 No, I don't think so, man.

01:09:18.000 I think it's great for you.

01:09:20.000 I just feel amazing after it.

01:09:21.000 That's supposedly what happens, right?

01:09:22.000 It gets deeper in your tissue or something.

01:09:24.000 Yeah, it's supposed to go deeper.

01:09:25.000 I remember us texting back and forth.

01:09:27.000 I was like, you got it?

01:09:28.000 If you do the infrared sauna for like a week, it's a game changer.

01:09:32.000 Regular sauna is too, so I don't know.

01:09:34.000 I would like you to try a regular sauna too.

01:09:36.000 How hot does the infrared get?

01:09:38.000 Like 140. It's not heating the air, though, too.

01:09:42.000 It's a difference.

01:09:42.000 Yeah, it doesn't heat the air.

01:09:44.000 Like, you walk in and it doesn't feel like it's that.

01:09:47.000 That's just weird. 0.99

01:09:48.000 That's some microwave shit. 0.99

01:09:51.000 I'm not into that, man. 1.00

01:09:51.000 That's like Hot Pockets. 1.00

01:09:53.000 You ain't turning me into a Hot Pocket gym gap again.

01:09:55.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:09:56.000 I'm probably burning up all my organs right now, but I love it.

01:10:00.000 I like going in and feeling that super heat.

01:10:02.000 You go in there and you're like, oh.

01:10:04.000 It feels so good.

01:10:05.000 I love it.

01:10:06.000 So good for you. 1.00

01:10:07.000 Do you fuck with cold? 1.00

01:10:08.000 Do you ever do cryo or anything like that? 1.00

01:10:09.000 I tried that once.

01:10:10.000 Yeah?

01:10:11.000 And it was right after the infrared sound.

01:10:13.000 I was like, try the cold.

01:10:14.000 It's just, I don't know, man.

01:10:16.000 It wasn't my thing.

01:10:17.000 What do you mean?

01:10:18.000 It wasn't my thing.

01:10:19.000 Like, how so? 0.98

01:10:19.000 Like, it was fucking freezing. 0.98

01:10:21.000 Yeah, it was cold, but how is it not your thing? 0.97

01:10:23.000 But it's just, I don't want to...

01:10:24.000 You don't want to do it?

01:10:25.000 No.

01:10:26.000 No.

01:10:26.000 I love heat, but the cold thing is like, nah.

01:10:29.000 I'm good.

01:10:30.000 I'm good on that.

01:10:31.000 I understand.

01:10:31.000 You know, you love it?

01:10:33.000 I love it.

01:10:34.000 I do it too.

01:10:35.000 I love both of them.

01:10:36.000 Do you go back to back?

01:10:37.000 That's what they say you should do.

01:10:38.000 I have not gone back to back, but I've gone and done both of them in a day.

01:10:42.000 I like hot yoga too.

01:10:44.000 I like hot yoga and then doing the cryo, which they say you shouldn't do because it'll give you a heart attack.

01:10:49.000 Oh, doing it hot to cold? 1.00

01:10:51.000 Says who, pussy? 1.00

01:10:52.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:10:52.000 Who's doing that? 1.00

01:10:53.000 Be a man. 1.00

01:10:53.000 Who's getting a goddamn heart attack? 1.00

01:10:54.000 Step up. 1.00

01:10:55.000 Who's getting a heart attack from going from hot to cold?

01:10:57.000 Not us.

01:10:58.000 Is that really happening?

01:10:58.000 I used to do hot yoga.

01:11:00.000 I need to get back into it.

01:11:01.000 I just got to get flexible, man.

01:11:03.000 It's just, that's the tough thing about getting old.

01:11:06.000 Flexibility?

01:11:06.000 Flexibility.

01:11:07.000 Because what they say, most older people die on the toilet because they can't get up. 0.88

01:11:12.000 You know, they have some problem and they can't get up from wherever they are.

01:11:15.000 Is that real?

01:11:16.000 Oh yeah.

01:11:17.000 Oh yeah.

01:11:17.000 That's a crazy way to go.

01:11:18.000 Yeah.

01:11:19.000 Just on the toilet.

01:11:20.000 Can you imagine?

01:11:20.000 You're always going to think like Elvis.

01:11:21.000 Like, as you're dying, you'll be like, damn, me and Elvis. 1.00

01:11:26.000 I just don't want to die stupid. 1.00

01:11:27.000 You'll be reading in New York City, some guy's just walking and something falls on him. 1.00

01:11:34.000 Or a person.

01:11:35.000 How about that? 1.00

01:11:36.000 Some suicidal person lands on your fucking head. 1.00

01:11:38.000 I was at Adidas, the flagship in New York, Adidas, and like five minutes before I got there, a person just jumped off and killed themselves right outside the store. 1.00

01:11:49.000 Like out of residence.

01:11:51.000 Jesus.

01:11:53.000 That's one of the craziest ways to go.

01:11:55.000 The feeling of regret you must have when you feel the air under your feet and you're falling.

01:12:00.000 And you can't do nothing.

01:12:02.000 And that's a wrap, dude.

01:12:03.000 You made the decision.

01:12:04.000 You pulled the trigger.

01:12:05.000 Here it comes.

01:12:06.000 The Great Beyond.

01:12:08.000 Bang.

01:12:10.000 What goes through your mind when you're going down like that?

01:12:15.000 And it's your choice.

01:12:16.000 You know what I mean?

01:12:17.000 You're probably filled with unbelievable terror.

01:12:20.000 Unbelievable terror.

01:12:21.000 Even though it's your choice.

01:12:23.000 There have been people that have survived jumps into the ocean.

01:12:25.000 They've jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and made it.

01:12:28.000 All the time.

01:12:29.000 I mean, it's like one of the number one suicide spots in the U.S. Yeah, but some of them make it.

01:12:34.000 They survive. 0.88

01:12:35.000 That would suck. 0.51

01:12:36.000 Or, like, if you really wanted to die and you didn't die? 0.99

01:12:39.000 Maybe not.

01:12:40.000 Maybe you get a new lease on life.

01:12:41.000 Maybe you hit the water and you're like, what, am I alive? 1.00

01:12:44.000 What the fuck? 0.98

01:12:46.000 I never could get myself to that place. 1.00

01:12:48.000 Like, I like my life too much.

01:12:50.000 Right now.

01:12:51.000 Yeah, well, you're happy, and that's an awesome thing.

01:12:53.000 But, you know, when we're talking about spectrums, there's clearly a spectrum of that.

01:12:59.000 And some people, I think, have it horrifically.

01:13:02.000 They just have, for whatever reason, chemical imbalance, life experiences that are awful, PTSD, whatever the formula is, they have it to the point where it's almost unbearable every day.

01:13:13.000 100%.

01:13:14.000 A hundred percent.

01:13:14.000 Like my dad, you know, he served our country in the army and it didn't seem to affect him at all.

01:13:22.000 But, you know, he has friends that it's affected.

01:13:26.000 I have friends that have served.

01:13:27.000 They're affected by it.

01:13:29.000 And what was that movie?

01:13:31.000 It was about Benghazi.

01:13:33.000 I forgot.

01:13:34.000 John Krasinski did it, but I had to interview the real guys that pulled off, got the people out of Benghazi.

01:13:43.000 Yeah.

01:13:44.000 Yeah.

01:13:52.000 Yeah.

01:14:03.000 That's where they get their high, and that's life to them.

01:14:06.000 That's how they're living.

01:14:07.000 And I interviewed the three or four soldiers that went out there and saved these people, and you saw that look in their eye.

01:14:14.000 You know what I mean?

01:14:14.000 It was like...

01:14:16.000 They would go back now if they could.

01:14:18.000 And they hated hearing how one of their own lost their lives out there.

01:14:24.000 They were like, I could have done something.

01:14:26.000 And that's what they talked about.

01:14:27.000 Why we always want to go back is every time we hear one of our fallen soldiers, they fell, we could have saved them.

01:14:35.000 And two of them were snipers and the other two were on the ground.

01:14:39.000 And they were like, man, it's just real life is very tame for us.

01:14:45.000 You know, it's almost a...

01:14:46.000 I'm putting...

01:14:47.000 Now I'm paraphrasing, but I would say they think it's a bore just living our normal lives.

01:14:52.000 And unless they're fighting for our country and saving people's lives, like, everything else is just boring.

01:14:58.000 Yeah, I mean, you talk about literally life being turned up to 10. There's nothing else that compares to it on the planet other than being a police officer.

01:15:05.000 Yeah.

01:15:05.000 In a shootout.

01:15:07.000 Or just imagine, like, a police officer walking up to a car.

01:15:13.000 Yeah.

01:15:14.000 That's freaky enough.

01:15:34.000 You don't know what you're going to get.

01:15:35.000 You don't know if it's a barrel or a shotgun.

01:15:36.000 You don't know.

01:15:37.000 You have no idea.

01:15:38.000 You have no idea.

01:15:39.000 And people have to realize that tension they carry with them all day.

01:15:43.000 They might have 20 of those interactions.

01:15:46.000 Absolutely.

01:15:46.000 All day.

01:15:47.000 And a couple could have been really bad for them. 0.99

01:15:50.000 And if you give them any bullshit or don't appreciate or respect that, they're immediately going to go, oh, okay. 0.99

01:15:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:15:57.000 You fucking asshole. 1.00

01:15:58.000 And you're the enemy now. 1.00

01:15:59.000 And it's horrible.

01:16:00.000 It's horrible that we give a person the kind of power that police officers have when they abuse it.

01:16:05.000 But it's also horrible that we create this relationship between fellow citizens.

01:16:11.000 A cop is just a citizen.

01:16:12.000 It's just one of us.

01:16:13.000 Where we are the enemy if we're not following the book. 1.00

01:16:17.000 Especially when the book is stupid. 1.00

01:16:18.000 Like it's pot laws or something dumb like that. 1.00

01:16:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:16:21.000 Or you're catching guys getting jerked off. 0.99

01:16:23.000 Like, Jesus Christ. 0.99

01:16:24.000 Yeah. 0.76

01:16:24.000 You know, I've been pulled over a couple times, and I gotta say, you know, most of them, like my dad, you know, they say a black thing to do when you have a black father. 0.76

01:16:32.000 They tell you very early on, when a cop pulls you over, hands out, let him see it.

01:16:36.000 You know, it's taught to us when we're born and raised, especially where I grew up.

01:16:40.000 So, you know, I've even been profiled.

01:16:43.000 And I'm half black.

01:16:45.000 You don't know what I really am, a lot of people.

01:16:47.000 But I've been profiled.

01:16:48.000 So I know when I hear the stories, and I've been in cars with my friends that are dark-skinned black, and they've been pulled over.

01:16:56.000 And it's a thing where you're upset because you feel like you're being profiled.

01:17:00.000 But man, once that cop walks over, you need to show all due respect because they control that game now.

01:17:08.000 It's 100% their game.

01:17:10.000 Once they pull up to your window, you're in their car.

01:17:13.000 You also should think that they are entirely necessary for a civilized society.

01:17:18.000 100%. 0.94

01:17:18.000 And if you want to be able to call the police, if some shit is going down, you should appreciate them when they're there. 0.94

01:17:24.000 And, you know, this does not discount all the bad cops. 0.97

01:17:26.000 Oh, yeah, absolutely.

01:17:28.000 It does not discount all the things we've all seen.

01:17:29.000 The shootings were unjustified.

01:17:31.000 Punchings were unjustified.

01:17:32.000 This is what we have to keep, though.

01:17:35.000 Perspective.

01:17:35.000 Because there's so many interactions.

01:17:38.000 There's so many cops out there that are dealing with PTSD all day long.

01:17:42.000 Because for a decade or two decades of their life, they have been dealing with crime and violence all day long.

01:17:49.000 Every day.

01:17:51.000 And they dress like the enemy.

01:17:52.000 They're not just a cop.

01:17:54.000 They're a cop who has to wear a cop outfit.

01:17:55.000 So everywhere you go, like when you're playing Quake and you're playing team matches.

01:18:00.000 Oh, here goes Quake.

01:18:01.000 Yeah.

01:18:01.000 The dude has a special flag over his head.

01:18:03.000 You know that's a target.

01:18:04.000 If you see cops, like bad guys see cops as the enemy.

01:18:09.000 You're being paid to be the enemy, even if you've never had an interaction.

01:18:13.000 If you're a bad guy and that's a cop, that's the enemy.

01:18:16.000 And that is a crazy position to ask people to be in.

01:18:19.000 But even for people that don't have interactions with cops a lot, they still consider it the enemy.

01:18:24.000 Because if they pull you over for speeding, it's gone through my mind.

01:18:28.000 It's like, nobody's on the road right now.

01:18:30.000 Why are you pulling me over for speeding?

01:18:33.000 I'm not hurting anybody.

01:18:34.000 It's just a waste of time.

01:18:35.000 Well, they're trying to write a ticket, because they have to write a certain amount of tickets.

01:18:39.000 And that's when I think it goes over the top, where it's like, come on now.

01:18:43.000 I was talking to a cop about that.

01:18:44.000 I said, okay, now let me ask you this.

01:18:45.000 What if everybody agreed to never speed?

01:18:49.000 Like, we made a six-month agreement in this country where we would never speed, and no one speeded, and there was no more traffic violations in terms of speeding tickets. 0.94

01:18:59.000 What the fuck would happen?

01:19:00.000 And he was like, people would just get laid off left and right. 0.99

01:19:03.000 Really?

01:19:03.000 Yeah, they were like, I think they would just slash the police department.

01:19:07.000 They put quotas on you because you're a glorified revenue collector.

01:19:11.000 I mean, that's what those guys are doing.

01:19:12.000 Well, don't you think that's a problem, though?

01:19:13.000 Like, when you're pulling people over, and I think that it all, look, the problem is with the police and people start from the court, and that's a major problem.

01:19:22.000 If you have to pull over people, even if you're a cop and go, eh, they're not really doing anything bad, but I have to meet my quota of tickets, that starts from a very negative place.

01:19:33.000 Terrible.

01:19:33.000 Terrible place.

01:19:34.000 Terrible place.

01:19:35.000 Terrible place and terrible place for both parties.

01:19:38.000 Terrible place for the cop to bury his head in the sand and realize he's writing someone a ticket for no reason. 0.99

01:19:43.000 You know, like you catch someone, speed limit's 65, they're going 69, you pull them over, like get the fuck out of here, man. 0.98

01:19:49.000 Really? 0.59

01:19:49.000 Yeah. 0.59

01:19:50.000 You can't even pay attention.

01:19:52.000 There's no way, unless I'm not looking at the road.

01:19:55.000 Unless I have cruise control or I'm not looking at the road.

01:19:58.000 I might get to 69. I might back up to 65 again.

01:20:02.000 Even if I'm trying to go the speed limit.

01:20:04.000 But I know people that have been pulled over four miles over.

01:20:06.000 A hundred percent.

01:20:07.000 But as a driver of that car going four miles over, you're pissed.

01:20:11.000 Yeah.

01:20:12.000 Like automatically.

01:20:13.000 Because you got jacked.

01:20:14.000 Yeah. 0.92

01:20:14.000 You just got jacked. 0.92

01:20:15.000 He's not serving or protecting.

01:20:16.000 And we all know he's writing a ticket just to write a ticket.

01:20:19.000 Yeah.

01:20:19.000 It's probably the 27th or 28th of the month.

01:20:22.000 Yep.

01:20:22.000 And they got to meet their quota.

01:20:24.000 Like that's where they, driving to Vegas is the worst.

01:20:26.000 They set up traps.

01:20:27.000 Yep.

01:20:28.000 And especially close to the end of the month, you know if you're driving to Vegas, go to speed limit because they're waiting for you.

01:20:33.000 I got pulled over by a plane.

01:20:34.000 Have you seen this?

01:20:36.000 Going to Vegas?

01:20:36.000 They have planes that now radar you.

01:20:38.000 They don't even...

01:20:39.000 And then they send out cop cars.

01:20:41.000 So the plane radars you and then a cop car pulls you over there?

01:20:43.000 Yes.

01:20:44.000 Oh my God.

01:20:45.000 Yeah.

01:20:46.000 Yeah.

01:20:46.000 And that was the last time we went to Vegas.

01:20:48.000 I went with my wife and son and we got pulled...

01:20:52.000 Like a cop car came out of nowhere.

01:20:54.000 And my wife...

01:20:55.000 Here's the difference.

01:20:57.000 You know, this shows that my wife is white from Wyoming, right? 0.66

01:21:01.000 And this is the big difference.

01:21:02.000 That's real white. 0.84

01:21:03.000 That's white white.

01:21:05.000 That's like Pilgrim.

01:21:05.000 That's like Casper the Friendly Ghost White.

01:21:07.000 That's like cowboy white, right?

01:21:09.000 Wyoming?

01:21:10.000 Translucent.

01:21:11.000 Cowboys.

01:21:13.000 Right?

01:21:13.000 Yeah.

01:21:13.000 The only cowboys up there.

01:21:15.000 Wyoming cowboys, yeah.

01:21:16.000 Did your wife grow up on a ranch?

01:21:18.000 No.

01:21:18.000 No, no, no.

01:21:19.000 I think they have.

01:21:19.000 They have cities?

01:21:20.000 Yeah.

01:21:20.000 She grew up in Gillette.

01:21:22.000 Gillette, Wyoming. 1.00

01:21:23.000 What the fuck is that? 1.00

01:21:24.000 Gillette, Wyoming. 1.00

01:21:25.000 How many people there?

01:21:25.000 80?

01:21:26.000 I think 3,000.

01:21:27.000 Come on.

01:21:27.000 No, seriously.

01:21:29.000 They're like the Brady Bunch.

01:21:30.000 I'm married into the Brady Bunch.

01:21:32.000 Like, seriously, they're real life.

01:21:33.000 It's like, good morning, Michael.

01:21:35.000 How are you?

01:21:35.000 Like, they are those people.

01:21:36.000 That's kind of cool.

01:21:37.000 No, it's great.

01:21:38.000 So, a cop pulls us over for this Vegas trip.

01:21:41.000 And this is the difference in cultures we have.

01:21:42.000 And this is why I try to tell my wife.

01:21:44.000 When the cop came over, his name, let's say, Officer Andrew.

01:21:48.000 He comes over.

01:21:49.000 I'm very polite.

01:21:50.000 I said, yes, sir.

01:21:51.000 You got it.

01:21:52.000 No problem.

01:21:52.000 I was speeding.

01:21:53.000 No problem.

01:21:54.000 My wife.

01:21:55.000 And the cop goes, we pulled you over by a plane.

01:21:57.000 So he gives me a ticket.

01:21:58.000 I'm like, hey, officer, have a great day.

01:22:00.000 He's like, you too, sir.

01:22:01.000 My wife is in the backseat with my son.

01:22:03.000 Rolls down the window when he's walking away and goes, excuse me, how do you know it was this black SUV? I see lots of black SUVs passing us.

01:22:13.000 And it's from a plane?

01:22:15.000 Are you serious?

01:22:16.000 I'm like, I'm about to die.

01:22:18.000 The cop turns back around, like comes to my side of the window and says, excuse me, ma'am.

01:22:25.000 But just the privilege to be able to talk to a cop like that, because she has no idea.

01:22:29.000 She has no idea.

01:22:30.000 That's the real white privilege. 0.84

01:22:32.000 That's the real white. 0.97

01:22:33.000 And I'm like, babe.

01:22:34.000 And I'm like telling the cop.

01:22:35.000 Tell me about it.

01:22:36.000 I'm telling the cop.

01:22:37.000 I'm saying, hey, baby, it's okay.

01:22:39.000 I was speeding.

01:22:40.000 Do you talk about this on stage?

01:22:41.000 No. 1.00

01:22:42.000 You fucking should. 1.00

01:22:43.000 I know. 1.00

01:22:44.000 Dude, that's hilarious.

01:22:45.000 And I'm like, oh my God.

01:22:46.000 You should for sure talk about this on stage.

01:22:49.000 I will.

01:22:50.000 It scared me.

01:22:51.000 Because I was scared because the cop comes back around.

01:22:54.000 Write that down right now.

01:22:55.000 Take that pad.

01:22:56.000 Write that down.

01:22:57.000 Write it down.

01:22:58.000 You must talk about this on stage. 0.94

01:22:59.000 White wife. 1.00

01:23:00.000 Cop.

01:23:01.000 Wyoming. 1.00

01:23:02.000 All that shit. 1.00

01:23:03.000 White wife. 1.00

01:23:04.000 Cop. 0.94

01:23:04.000 Privilege. 0.94

01:23:05.000 Plane.

01:23:06.000 Radar.

01:23:07.000 Black SUV. Wyoming.

01:23:10.000 Cowboy.

01:23:10.000 White people.

01:23:12.000 Horses. 0.99

01:23:13.000 Mustang.

01:23:14.000 Ranch.

01:23:16.000 Shoe horns.

01:23:17.000 Horseshoe.

01:23:19.000 He comes back over and he's trying to explain to my wife about a plane.

01:23:24.000 And she's giving this cop attitude.

01:23:26.000 Oh no.

01:23:27.000 Yeah.

01:23:28.000 Oh no.

01:23:28.000 And when we drive off, I go, baby, you cannot do that.

01:23:32.000 Like, you almost killed me. 1.00

01:23:33.000 And she was like, stop being ridiculous. 1.00

01:23:35.000 I'm like, no. 0.99

01:23:36.000 No, you really did.

01:23:36.000 No, you really could have got me killed.

01:23:39.000 You never know.

01:23:40.000 Wrong guy, wrong place, wrong time, wrong history, wrong background, wrong state of mind that he's in. 0.99

01:23:46.000 What if he didn't like a black dude married to a white woman? 0.99

01:23:48.000 For sure. 0.98

01:23:49.000 Yeah.

01:23:49.000 And she didn't get that, but now she gets that because we have a son.

01:23:54.000 You know what I mean?

01:23:55.000 So I think once you have a multi-ethnic son, now she's like, oh, I'm all about Moana.

01:24:01.000 I'm all about – she doesn't – like, she's all about the ethnic cartoons and not the white ones. 0.77

01:24:07.000 She's trying.

01:24:08.000 She's got a good mindset.

01:24:10.000 Yeah, she's trying and her family's trying.

01:24:12.000 It sucks that anybody has to ever worry about getting accidentally shot by a cop.

01:24:18.000 And the problem, I think, is not going to go away until the problem of crime goes away. 0.53

01:24:23.000 And that's not going to happen either.

01:24:25.000 So what do we do to make life safer for everybody? 0.98

01:24:28.000 That's a real good fucking question. 0.98

01:24:30.000 I think awareness, for sure. 0.99

01:24:32.000 People being aware of all these videos.

01:24:33.000 That's one thing that I think that Black Lives Matter did that people don't want to accept, but it's really important.

01:24:39.000 It became a national thought.

01:24:42.000 It's not just another story in the news.

01:24:44.000 It's a national thought.

01:24:45.000 This is a movement to try to eradicate this.

01:24:48.000 And all the times where you've seen guys plant guns on people after they've shot them.

01:24:54.000 All the crazy You see videos? 0.98

01:24:55.000 Yeah, you see videos of black people with no guns getting shot. 0.97

01:24:59.000 And then, here's the problem, they go to court, and then the cops are innocent. 0.78

01:25:04.000 Did you see the one where the guy throws the gun down on the ground?

01:25:06.000 Was it a taser?

01:25:08.000 What did he throw down on the ground?

01:25:09.000 It was like, he shot him, and then as he's coming up to the body, he dropped something on the ground.

01:25:14.000 When I was growing up, at least, I don't know when it changed, but cops were supposed to shoot, not to kill you, but to handicap you. 0.99

01:25:21.000 Like, shoot you in the legs, shoot you in the arms. 0.99

01:25:23.000 These guys are not that good a shot. 1.00

01:25:25.000 There's a lot of cops that are just not good at shooting guns.

01:25:28.000 I mean, there's a lot that are military trained, that are very professional and very serious who are.

01:25:33.000 But it's like...

01:25:34.000 Look, I watched a video the other day of a guy getting into an altercation.

01:25:38.000 He's an off-duty cop, got into an altercation with this guy, and he tried to pull his gun out.

01:25:42.000 The guy grabbed him, grabbed his wrist.

01:25:45.000 The guy did not know how to fight at all and probably only knew how to shoot people.

01:25:49.000 Yeah.

01:25:49.000 He gets taken down.

01:25:50.000 The guy obviously knew jujitsu.

01:25:52.000 Took him down.

01:25:53.000 Mounted him.

01:25:53.000 Took the gun from him.

01:25:55.000 Threw the gun away. 1.00

01:25:55.000 And beat the fuck out of him. 1.00

01:25:57.000 From the mount. 0.99

01:25:58.000 Pounding him.

01:25:59.000 The guy turns his back.

01:26:00.000 He gets his back. 0.99

01:26:01.000 He's beating the shit out of him. 0.99

01:26:02.000 It's horrific. 0.99

01:26:03.000 Because this cop thought he was safe.

01:26:06.000 And pulled his gun.

01:26:07.000 But this is one example.

01:26:08.000 Just because someone's a cop doesn't mean they're a well-trained, prepared cop.

01:26:12.000 There are those out there for sure.

01:26:13.000 Absolutely.

01:26:14.000 But there are also some slobs. 0.94

01:26:15.000 I've seen some guys that are a cop.

01:26:18.000 I'm like, bro, you can't run a block. 1.00

01:26:20.000 How the fuck are you a cop? 1.00

01:26:23.000 This is a ridiculous position for you to put yourself in and anybody else you're trying to protect. 1.00

01:26:27.000 You're handicapped by gluttony. 1.00

01:26:30.000 But at the same time, we do need them.

01:26:32.000 We need the cops.

01:26:34.000 We need them to be more respected and appreciated.

01:26:37.000 They're not very respected and appreciated by a lot of people.

01:26:40.000 I think that's a huge misservice.

01:26:42.000 What I hate about this conversation, whatever side they're on with the cops, they're going to pull whatever they want because we've talked negative.

01:26:49.000 Well, not negative.

01:26:49.000 We've said some things about, and I hate how we're in such a polar place where, oh, you're either for them or against them.

01:26:56.000 And that's like with everything.

01:26:57.000 And that's what You can't have a conversation anymore.

01:27:00.000 And that's where we're at right now.

01:27:02.000 It's like, you can't say anything wrong with cops because then you don't support the cops.

01:27:07.000 If you support the cops, then you'll get attacked by the other side going, oh, well, they kill innocent people.

01:27:12.000 I know.

01:27:13.000 I know both.

01:27:14.000 Someone can take a clip of anything you've said today without further elaboration, because most of what you said you further elaborated.

01:27:21.000 Absolutely.

01:27:21.000 They could take that one snippet and just put a little clip up somewhere, and Michael Yo said this, or worse yet, quote it.

01:27:27.000 This is what he said about cops. 1.00

01:27:28.000 People are like, fuck him! 1.00

01:27:29.000 I thought he was pro-cop! 1.00

01:27:31.000 Well, that's the world we live in today.

01:27:33.000 This is the world we live in, and that's why it's so horrible, man.

01:27:37.000 Well, it is and it's not.

01:27:39.000 It is!

01:27:39.000 That part is horrible, but it's the best time to be alive ever.

01:27:43.000 The best time to be alive in terms of our ability to understand our effect on each other.

01:27:47.000 The best time to be alive in terms of our ability to access information.

01:27:50.000 The best time for...

01:27:52.000 If something is going on, you alert people that this thing, like a crime is taking place.

01:27:57.000 Oh, 100%.

01:27:57.000 We could spread the news of it so quick.

01:27:59.000 We just have to...

01:28:00.000 We were just not used to so much.

01:28:03.000 We're not used to so much that we have to deal with all day.

01:28:05.000 We're not designed for so much.

01:28:07.000 And it happened in 35 years.

01:28:09.000 You know, just think about our parents, right?

01:28:13.000 When we were growing up, the TV was black and white, and then it went color.

01:28:17.000 And that was the big thing for them.

01:28:18.000 For us, there were no cell phones or internet.

01:28:21.000 And then, in like the last 35 years, I don't think you'll ever see a technology boom, like in this last 35 years.

01:28:28.000 So many advancements happen so quick, and that's why we today can't react to them fast enough.

01:28:36.000 We don't know, like now parents are doing, like parents that are our age are doing the same things the kids are doing, where my dad never cared about parents.

01:28:58.000 I think we haven't even scratched the surface.

01:29:08.000 Really?

01:29:08.000 Yeah, we haven't even scratched the surface.

01:29:10.000 But I guess I'm saying things that changed the world.

01:29:14.000 Like, there was no internet, Joe.

01:29:17.000 Dude, there's a thing that Elon Musk is working on called Neuralink.

01:29:21.000 And I don't know exactly how this works.

01:29:24.000 Because he wouldn't exactly explain it.

01:29:43.000 I just found it.

01:29:47.000 I'm looking at it.

01:29:47.000 Yeah, some dude just said, I might or might not have tried Elon Musk's Neuralink.

01:29:53.000 He's kind of bound by silence, but there is a real possibility.

01:30:00.000 Here's how to look at it.

01:30:02.000 Think about Wi-Fi, right?

01:30:04.000 Wi-Fi is in this room.

01:30:05.000 We use it.

01:30:07.000 You can shut your phone off and turn your Wi-Fi on, and you'll be able to access all the information on the Internet.

01:30:11.000 But where is that coming from?

01:30:12.000 Where is that?

01:30:13.000 It's in the air.

01:30:13.000 It's in the sky.

01:30:14.000 It's all around us.

01:30:15.000 If you can wear something that picks up on that in the same way, picks up on Wi-Fi in the same way, picks up on cellular signals, whether it's 4G or 5G, which is coming out soon, which is supposed to be unstoppable and powerful, if that can feed information directly to your brain,

01:30:35.000 Yeah.

01:30:55.000 They could already affect the brain with external stimulation.

01:30:59.000 They already know how to do that. 0.86

01:31:01.000 If they can figure out how to do that in a much more sophisticated way, we are on the edge of becoming cyborgs.

01:31:08.000 And it's not far away.

01:31:09.000 We're talking about within the next decade, maybe two decades, there's gonna be something that changes a person and makes...

01:31:18.000 If you're a person with a limited education and no phone, Think about how little access to the world's knowledge base you had.

01:31:28.000 Now, if you're a person with limited access to information and education, but you have a phone, and that phone is online, you have everything.

01:31:36.000 So that changes everything.

01:31:38.000 This person now can access all the knowledge.

01:31:41.000 I mean, it's not...

01:31:42.000 Perfect. 0.99

01:31:43.000 If you Google things, some of the things are bullshit. 1.00

01:31:45.000 Some articles are dumb. 1.00

01:31:47.000 They don't make sense. 0.98

01:31:47.000 But you have possibility of finding all the information. 0.98

01:31:52.000 Now, in the future, I think that's going to be escalated.

01:31:57.000 And it's going to be escalated exponentially.

01:31:59.000 There's going to be some new leaps in technology that happen that guys like you and I that don't work in the field, we're going to see it coming.

01:32:06.000 These people are working on these things right now.

01:32:08.000 And they're competing with people in China and Russia and all over the world that are also working on these technologies.

01:32:14.000 And they're going to get through.

01:32:15.000 And they're going to make something, and that something is going to change reality as we know it.

01:32:19.000 And it's probably right around the corner.

01:32:21.000 The same way cell phones and the internet changed our reality as compared to our parents, this is going to change it ten times.

01:32:27.000 But the neuro thing...

01:32:30.000 I get that your brain gets it right away.

01:32:32.000 I don't know how it works.

01:32:34.000 But let's say your brain gets it.

01:32:35.000 You put this machine on like this and then it sends it straight to your brain.

01:32:39.000 What's the difference of that besides quicker than you being on the computer and looking up?

01:32:43.000 You're still getting the same information.

01:32:45.000 I don't think so.

01:32:45.000 I don't think that's the case.

01:32:46.000 But you're getting the same information.

01:32:47.000 I don't think that's how it works.

01:32:48.000 What does this guy say?

01:32:50.000 This is an April Fool's joke.

01:32:51.000 It's an April Fool's joke?

01:32:52.000 Yeah.

01:32:52.000 Oh.

01:32:53.000 What is the title of the article?

01:32:56.000 Elon Musk might have let me try a neural link prototype, but release on April 1st.

01:33:00.000 But let's say, and I know you don't know about, but let's say you put it on a device and all the information goes through your brain.

01:33:06.000 You're still getting the same information.

01:33:08.000 Maybe not.

01:33:09.000 Have you ever seen someone use an exoskeleton?

01:33:11.000 No.

01:33:12.000 What is that?

01:33:13.000 Exoskeleton is like a suit that you put on that's like, say if you work in a factory, it'll allow you to pick up much heavier things.

01:33:19.000 Remember the movie Aliens? 0.95

01:33:21.000 Sigourney Weaver, she's fucking up that thing. 1.00

01:33:22.000 She's inside that robot. 1.00

01:33:24.000 Get away from her, you bitch! 1.00

01:33:26.000 You're like, whoa, whoa, he's ferocious. 1.00

01:33:29.000 That's like a giant robotic exoskeleton.

01:33:31.000 This is an exoskeleton that they use for people that are paralyzed and it helps them walk.

01:33:36.000 Okay.

01:33:37.000 They also are developing exoskeletons.

01:33:40.000 Oh, that's a chair, huh?

01:33:41.000 There's seven of them here.

01:33:43.000 That one has extra legs. 0.93

01:33:44.000 Oh, that's pretty dope.

01:33:46.000 There's things that help people, like that gal right there is not a big person, but she can work in a factory, and you can carry things that are much heavier than what you would ordinarily be able to carry. 0.97

01:33:56.000 Okay.

01:33:57.000 Now, they think that as technology moves and improves, they're going to get to the point where they develop what's essentially like an Iron Man suit.

01:34:05.000 That's like an exoskeleton.

01:34:07.000 The Iron Man suit, when he wears that, he's invincible.

01:34:10.000 He can fly.

01:34:11.000 He can smash things and pick things up and throw things.

01:34:14.000 That is entirely possible that this is going to be our future.

01:34:20.000 That there's going to be suits that we wear that make us impervious.

01:34:23.000 Look at this guy.

01:34:24.000 He's got one that lets him fly around.

01:34:25.000 And he's got rockets that come out of his hands.

01:34:28.000 You think the government would ever approve that for us to get?

01:34:31.000 They don't have a chance.

01:34:32.000 It's not whether or not they approve it.

01:34:34.000 It doesn't have anything to do with them.

01:34:36.000 It has to do with the technologists.

01:34:37.000 It has to do with the scientists.

01:34:39.000 It has to do with the geniuses that are creating these things. 1.00

01:34:41.000 Because they're going to come in waves and these fucking dummies that don't even understand what Facebook is. 1.00

01:34:46.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:34:47.000 These are the same guys that are going to stop these people from putting out Iron Man suits.

01:34:50.000 They're not going to tell them until it's way too late.

01:34:53.000 Too late.

01:34:53.000 They're already out.

01:34:54.000 And the one they tell them, they're going to make them for sale and they're not going to give them the option as to whether or not they regulate them.

01:34:59.000 They're just going to make them for people and then you're going to have to figure out the laws once people have them.

01:35:04.000 And then once grandma has one and all of a sudden grandma's playing tennis again, you tell me grandma can't play tennis because some bad guys want to use an exoskeleton to rob a bank? 0.99

01:35:11.000 Because that shit's coming. 0.99

01:35:13.000 All of it's coming. 1.00

01:35:15.000 Bulletproof exoskeletons.

01:35:16.000 But I still, everything you've said so far still, to me, is not bigger than not having internet.

01:35:23.000 Well, the internet opened the door, but we don't know if that technology, like the thing that you can, like, talking to your phone, and you can say, hey Siri, when was the Constitution formulated?

01:35:36.000 You know, hey Siri, what was the first draft of the Declaration of Independence written on?

01:35:40.000 You can ask those questions, and Siri will answer those questions.

01:35:43.000 Google search will answer those questions for you.

01:35:46.000 But what if you just know it?

01:35:48.000 What if that thought interfaces with your brain in a way where it describes things maybe in symbols or direct feed of information through some unfathomable technology that literally just permeates language.

01:36:02.000 It gets through all of that and just gives you information.

01:36:05.000 If I speak to you in a different language, it'll automatically translate it.

01:36:08.000 Things like that.

01:36:09.000 Yes.

01:36:09.000 Well, they already could do that.

01:36:10.000 You know, they have these Google earbuds.

01:36:12.000 Yeah.

01:36:12.000 These Pixel Buds, I think they're called.

01:36:14.000 Really?

01:36:15.000 If that worked, would they just get rid of school?

01:36:17.000 Or would school only be to tell you how to work that?

01:36:19.000 Well, you would need scholars because you would need to know whether or not this stuff is accurate.

01:36:24.000 You would need women and men who are educated in this.

01:36:28.000 And this is one of the reasons why the scientific method is so important. 0.99

01:36:31.000 One of the reasons why when people shit on ridiculous things like... 0.96

01:36:36.000 Like grievance studies and a lot of the things that are overcoming universities these days. 0.99

01:36:40.000 You're taking away with your preposterous social justice ideology.

01:36:43.000 You're taking away from the real pursuit of knowledge and information because you want it to match up with your ideology. 1.00

01:36:49.000 This is a dangerous time to fuck with information. 1.00

01:36:51.000 Oh, absolutely. 0.99

01:36:52.000 Because people are already pooling up in these little echo chambers, whether it's message boards or Twitter groups that you're in, and they feed off of each other and agree on each other with each other all the time.

01:37:05.000 You've got to be really careful with information these days.

01:37:07.000 And also, they have to keep scholars to keep the real information, because it's just like that one show, I forgot what it's called, Black something, Black Box, Black Mirror.

01:37:17.000 They can change reality.

01:37:18.000 Literally, if you don't have scholars to oversee this stuff, they can be like, oh, you know what?

01:37:24.000 Slavery never happened.

01:37:25.000 Or this never happened.

01:37:26.000 And it would go away because the people born today would never know.

01:37:30.000 There's people that to this day will deny the Armenian genocide.

01:37:34.000 There's people to this day that deny that.

01:37:36.000 I mean, this is a real thing.

01:37:37.000 There are certain human beings that deny that.

01:37:39.000 And what's it going to be like 100 years from now?

01:37:42.000 I mean, how many of those people will exist then?

01:37:44.000 There's a lot of those circumstances in life where you have to be really careful about what information is, what's processed.

01:37:52.000 You have to be 100% accurate if you're saying something that is a historical record. 0.93

01:37:58.000 And you can't fuck with it at all. 0.96

01:37:59.000 But they are now. 0.98

01:38:00.000 But everybody has from history.

01:38:02.000 That's the reasons why all religions are different, right? 1.00

01:38:04.000 Because everybody has their own little version of history.

01:38:06.000 I mean, it's one of the reasons why many different religions have stories of Jesus, but they vary widely.

01:38:13.000 Who's telling the truth?

01:38:14.000 Well, I mean, it's a thing where what's scary to me about this world today is that misinformation is out there all the time.

01:38:25.000 And people believe it.

01:38:25.000 And people just, people don't read anymore.

01:38:27.000 They just listen to the bullet point and scream that out.

01:38:30.000 Like, literally, and I don't want to get political or anything, but I remember when everybody was saying Obama's going to raise taxes.

01:38:37.000 And they were interviewing people that didn't even make $30,000, saying, oh, he's going to raise my taxes.

01:38:42.000 It's like, nah.

01:38:43.000 He's not even talking about you, but you're yelling out a bullet point.

01:38:46.000 If you would have read the article, you would have read you were fine.

01:38:49.000 That's the thing.

01:38:50.000 Today, we want to yell out bullet points.

01:38:52.000 If Fox News, if you watch that and they say this, you're just yelling out that, but you never read.

01:38:57.000 If CNN is your thing, you're just yelling what they're saying, but you don't read.

01:39:02.000 Me, I watch both.

01:39:03.000 I actually read both articles.

01:39:05.000 I could talk politics all day.

01:39:07.000 I think there are good things that Republicans do.

01:39:10.000 I think there's good things that...

01:39:12.000 Democrats do.

01:39:13.000 I think Democrats right now are in a state where they fight amongst each other.

01:39:18.000 They're going to crush each other before the election even comes.

01:39:21.000 It's like Obama said, it's a circle and fire squad.

01:39:24.000 They're shooting at each other.

01:39:25.000 And here's the thing.

01:39:27.000 The good thing about the Republicans, bad or good, however you take it, If one of them says, let's go, they go.

01:39:34.000 With Democrats, it's, ah, let's talk about it.

01:39:38.000 I mean, it's a more intelligent way to do it, but they don't have each other's back, I feel, as much.

01:39:42.000 And that's why their messaging is always off.

01:39:45.000 That's why Donald Trump could have never been a Democrat.

01:39:49.000 Like, if Donald Trump said, I want to run for president and been a Democrat, they wouldn't mesh.

01:39:55.000 Well, the Republicans, it works because, oh, we just want to stay in charge and whatever he says we're going to roll with.

01:40:01.000 You know, George Bush, weapons of mass, let's go!

01:40:04.000 You know, it's just they're 100% behind it.

01:40:07.000 Why do you think that is?

01:40:12.000 I voted for Bush after 9-11, right?

01:40:15.000 Because I'm from Texas.

01:40:17.000 And I think it's the ideology that, oh, we want to pay back.

01:40:25.000 And I don't want to say good old boys, but it's like, hey, rah-rah, let's go.

01:40:29.000 That's the whole thing.

01:40:30.000 Oh, man, you remember when the flags were in everybody's car?

01:40:33.000 Oh, yeah!

01:40:34.000 Oh, yeah!

01:40:35.000 And it was like, we were all behind it.

01:40:37.000 Dude, that was the weirdest.

01:40:38.000 I remember I was driving somewhere, and I made a turn on the street near my house, and it was one or two days after 9-11, and I never saw more flags on cars in my life.

01:40:53.000 It was like, the world changed.

01:40:55.000 Like, everybody had a flag on their car.

01:40:58.000 Yes.

01:40:59.000 Yes.

01:41:17.000 Right.

01:41:17.000 That was one of the things that Reagan said once when he was talking about, they were meeting with Gorbachev, and he said, I often wonder how we would put our differences aside if we were faced with an alien threat from another world.

01:41:29.000 Oh, we totally would.

01:41:30.000 The idea that this global conflict that we think about in terms of Russia versus the United States, but... 0.99

01:41:36.000 There was some fucking aliens coming down here, war world style. 0.99

01:41:39.000 It would be Independence Day. 1.00

01:41:40.000 Everybody would join forces.

01:41:42.000 Because now you have a common enemy.

01:41:44.000 And I also believe the way our country's being ran right now, Trump is good at making an enemy.

01:41:50.000 He survives off an enemy.

01:41:52.000 This person's an enemy right now. 0.79

01:41:54.000 Everybody attack him.

01:41:54.000 Now this person's an enemy.

01:41:56.000 Everybody attack him.

01:41:57.000 I'm not saying it's right or wrong.

01:41:58.000 I'm just saying that's the way it is. 0.99

01:42:00.000 Yo, he just fucks with people. 0.98

01:42:01.000 Apparently there's some dude that's his head of secret security or secret service that he calls Dumbo because the dude has big ears. 0.99

01:42:08.000 He replaced him?

01:42:09.000 Oh, he fired him?

01:42:10.000 Yeah, I think so. 1.00

01:42:11.000 Dude, he's a fucking wild man and he's probably on speed. 1.00

01:42:17.000 That's what I think. 1.00

01:42:18.000 But it's crazy, man.

01:42:20.000 I'm just watching this.

01:42:21.000 He's hilarious.

01:42:22.000 I mean, if it wasn't the fact that you think that the moral fiber of our country is deteriorating, is this the guy?

01:42:27.000 Oh, he does have big ears. 1.00

01:42:28.000 He's got some big-ass fucking ears. 1.00

01:42:30.000 Massive ears. 1.00

01:42:32.000 Wow.

01:42:33.000 Well, I know a lot of people with big ears that I like dearly.

01:42:37.000 But don't you believe this, Joe.

01:42:40.000 Let's be honest.

01:42:41.000 If America, like the whole country, could look in the mirror when Donald Trump was elected, it's a reflection of America when he got voted.

01:42:49.000 It's a reflection of a percentage of us, for sure.

01:42:51.000 No, no, no, but egotistical.

01:42:54.000 It's a drama of some.

01:42:56.000 Yeah, but I don't want to generalize, like, in terms of, like, say, that's America.

01:43:00.000 I would for a joke.

01:43:02.000 Yeah.

01:43:03.000 But I mean, if we're being serious...

01:43:04.000 But I am being serious.

01:43:06.000 But then why was there the women's march where millions of women were in the street? 1.00

01:43:10.000 Well, let me tell you why.

01:43:12.000 Because I think Donald Trump...

01:43:14.000 When everybody was depressed Donald Trump was president, I go, you got to look at the positives.

01:43:20.000 If Hillary was elected, those women would have never got together to march. 1.00

01:43:24.000 Yeah.

01:43:24.000 Donald Trump has brought more people together against him.

01:43:28.000 Americans were marching for Muslims after Donald Trump became president.

01:43:33.000 The positivity that Donald Trump has created with the opposition and the togetherness, you had a million women march because Donald Trump was president.

01:43:42.000 You had people marching for the Muslims because Donald Trump was president.

01:43:46.000 He's brought, for the first time, I feel like the side that opposes Donald Trump, they're more together than ever.

01:43:53.000 Ever.

01:43:53.000 And even though we say it's ripped the country apart, you know, because there's some problems in this country, but it has brought a bunch of people together.

01:44:01.000 And I don't think if Hillary was president, you wouldn't have had the Women March. 1.00

01:44:05.000 You wouldn't have had the March for the Muslims.

01:44:07.000 You wouldn't have had people backing immigrants. 1.00

01:44:09.000 She'd just start executing men. 0.99

01:44:11.000 That's what she would do. 1.00

01:44:12.000 She'd take them all in the middle of town square and start shooting them. 1.00

01:44:15.000 First with Bill. 0.99

01:44:16.000 Bill would be the first one. 0.99

01:44:17.000 She'd behead him on television. 0.97

01:44:19.000 Well, that was the whole thing. 0.97

01:44:20.000 Like, you'd...

01:44:24.000 Yeah, just like Iran. 0.96

01:44:26.000 Just like our allies in Iran.

01:44:28.000 But don't you think...

01:44:31.000 Does Iran do public executions or is it Syria?

01:44:33.000 Syria does, right? 0.85

01:44:35.000 But don't you think, like, when Hillary didn't stand up to Bill, that's where she lost everybody?

01:44:39.000 It started way before the election.

01:44:40.000 Because women wanted her to stand up to him back then.

01:44:44.000 You don't know what she did or didn't, right?

01:44:46.000 We just know what she did publicly. 1.00

01:44:48.000 And publicly, why would she do that?

01:44:49.000 That seems like it's crazy to do.

01:44:52.000 Like, why are you a dignified person?

01:44:55.000 You're going to publicly?

01:44:56.000 Well, not trash him, but you don't have to stand next to him.

01:44:59.000 Even Melania Trump bounces on Trump. 1.00

01:45:01.000 You know, she's... 1.00

01:45:03.000 She's like, nah.

01:45:05.000 I think Hillary without Bill didn't exist. 1.00

01:45:07.000 I think that guy was a dick-slinging buccaneer, and he made his way into the motherfucking White House, and she rode that wave. 1.00

01:45:16.000 There was a giant V12 sucking gasoline like it was going out of style, blowing a big wake behind it, and she was hanging on to that fucking wakeboard line. 1.00

01:45:28.000 Jesus, Bill, where are we going? 0.99

01:45:31.000 She wasn't gutting out of Arkansas.

01:45:33.000 She wasn't getting in the White House.

01:45:35.000 She wasn't the Secretary of State. 0.93

01:45:37.000 Settle down with that nonsense.

01:45:39.000 So it's kind of like, hey, you know what you got yourself into? 0.88

01:45:41.000 Is that what you're saying? 0.99

01:45:42.000 Well, there's that, and there's also, she's a liar. 1.00

01:45:45.000 That lady is a liar. 1.00

01:45:46.000 And maybe she's a liar because she's a politician, but when just you compare what was public, like her knowledge of what went wrong with the email servers and all that jazz, and many other instances too, just one we'll talk about, 0.99

01:46:02.000 and what Comey said when Comey was examining the evidence and what they did wrong and what she said they did wrong.

01:46:10.000 They're very different things.

01:46:26.000 Do you think when somebody gets elected president, they have a meeting with them? 0.99

01:46:31.000 Oh, fuck yeah. 0.96

01:46:32.000 And then they say, these are the things you can go after, and these are the things you can't, because if you go after this, we can't protect you from it. 1.00

01:46:40.000 I really believe those conversations happen in the White House.

01:46:43.000 Like, what kind of things do you think they say they can't protect you from?

01:46:46.000 I think, like...

01:46:47.000 Don't go after the Jews. 0.52

01:46:48.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

01:46:49.000 I'm saying, like, there's certain organizations, like...

01:46:54.000 Stay away from the Rothschilds. 0.98

01:46:57.000 Don't talk about the CFR. Stay out of Bohemian Grove.

01:47:03.000 I just think there's a list of corporations, big corporations that run America that they say you can't go after because a lot of presidents go in there saying, I'm going to do this against this corporation.

01:47:13.000 I'm not going to even say the corporation because I want to live.

01:47:16.000 And I feel that Secret Service really calls these people in, the presidents, and go, hey, this is who you can't go after.

01:47:23.000 Here's who you can't.

01:47:24.000 And if you do go after those, you're kind of on your own because we won't be able to save you because they're too powerful.

01:47:29.000 Right?

01:47:29.000 I believe in that.

01:47:30.000 There are giant corporations that have incredible influence on politicians.

01:47:36.000 Incredible reach.

01:47:37.000 Yeah, and spend so much money to keep them in power and get them into power and help contribute to the campaigns. 0.70

01:47:43.000 And then they scratch each other's backs.

01:47:45.000 If a president were to go in and say, I'm going to get rid of all lobbyists, that president would not make it through his term.

01:47:53.000 Well, it's hard to say that.

01:47:55.000 No, it's not.

01:47:56.000 No, there's too much money, Joe.

01:47:58.000 I mean, you might be right, but I'm saying, if I'm going to agree with you in this day and age, it's hard to say that.

01:48:03.000 Because you'd have to get everybody on board with killing a president.

01:48:05.000 I think they definitely did it with Kennedy.

01:48:07.000 Oh, yeah.

01:48:08.000 100%.

01:48:09.000 You know, I was talking to Byron Bowers.

01:48:12.000 No, but do you have to get everybody on board?

01:48:14.000 Yes.

01:48:14.000 You have to get everybody on board who knows about it.

01:48:17.000 Because otherwise, people are going to tell. 1.00

01:48:18.000 If you go and kill the fucking president, you have to get a lot of people on board. 1.00

01:48:23.000 We're probably going to get raided by the Secret Service right now. 1.00

01:48:26.000 No, I'm saying if you want to kill a president, it's not like it used to be.

01:48:30.000 I think it used to be less consequential.

01:48:33.000 Not that it was always...

01:48:34.000 I mean, like John Wilkes Booth days, right?

01:48:36.000 Way easier to kill the president than it is now. 0.88

01:48:40.000 Then Kennedy, way easier to kill a president in 1963 than it is to kill a president in 2019. Could you still do it? 0.99

01:48:46.000 Yeah, but you're probably going to get caught.

01:48:48.000 You would probably get caught. 1.00

01:48:50.000 You would have to have a tiny, small circle of fucking sociopaths and psychopaths, and they all agree to keep it hush. 1.00

01:48:59.000 To me, it's just one person calling another person saying, do this, pay them off, and then you can get caught, but one person... 0.99

01:49:06.000 Look, you have Secret Service, you have military protecting them, it's different.

01:49:11.000 Yeah.

01:49:11.000 Because you'd have to get someone to get past all that.

01:49:15.000 You know, and someone would have to make a mistake in mapping.

01:49:18.000 Like, that was one of the things they said about Dealey Plaza when they rolled Kennedy through. 0.97

01:49:23.000 They're like, what fucking security person would ever agree to let someone roll through with a convertible with buildings all around? 0.98

01:49:31.000 All these buildings, yeah. 1.00

01:49:31.000 Yeah, and then also you have to take that long, slow turn where, you know, it's not like you just drive by going 50 miles an hour and you've got to get your gun out of them and shoot them quick. 1.00

01:49:40.000 No.

01:49:40.000 The guy was driving slow.

01:49:41.000 I was like, It's ridiculous. 0.99

01:49:43.000 It's like you're asking for someone to get assassinated. 0.81

01:49:45.000 But I just really feel like there are rules that we'll never ever know about.

01:49:50.000 But once you get in there, they're like, hey, here's what you need to know.

01:49:53.000 Here's what you need to know not to go against.

01:49:55.000 I would think that if anybody's going to tell us that it's Trump...

01:49:58.000 I think the best thing that could ever happen is that Trump gets out of his terms in the White House and just starts talking.

01:50:05.000 It starts writing books.

01:50:06.000 Tell us everything.

01:50:07.000 Yeah.

01:50:08.000 You want to be the king of the world? 0.99

01:50:09.000 Write a fucking huge book on exactly what it's like the day you become the president. 0.99

01:50:14.000 That would be insane. 0.99

01:50:15.000 How do you think he's going to be treated once he gets out, though?

01:50:19.000 They'll love him.

01:50:20.000 You think so?

01:50:20.000 They love Bush.

01:50:22.000 People hated Bush.

01:50:23.000 They called Bush a war criminal.

01:50:24.000 Now he's an adorable grandpa who paints.

01:50:26.000 Yeah.

01:50:27.000 No, it's true.

01:50:28.000 It's true.

01:50:29.000 Look, man, whatever people hated Obama when he was in office, they're going to love him within a few years.

01:50:34.000 I mean, most people that were supporters of Obama, they love him now.

01:50:39.000 I mean, he's like a messianic figure.

01:50:42.000 Uh-huh.

01:50:42.000 Yeah.

01:50:43.000 I don't...

01:50:45.000 I mean, I don't know.

01:50:45.000 I think a certain percentage of the population loves Trump right now, period.

01:50:50.000 And, you know, they have reasons to back it up in terms of the economy, what they think is happening with job creation, all these different things that he's doing that may or may not have devastating implications, depending on who you talk to that's an expert, and I'm not one.

01:51:02.000 Yeah, me neither.

01:51:04.000 But there's obviously...

01:51:05.000 And then also people say, well, this is a trend that was actually going on during the Obama administration.

01:51:09.000 He's just riding the wave.

01:51:10.000 Maybe. 1.00

01:51:11.000 I'm too stupid. 1.00

01:51:12.000 I don't understand that stuff. 1.00

01:51:13.000 But I'm saying, in terms of numbers, it's not like the country is completely imploding right now.

01:51:18.000 I mean, maybe by some people's metric it's not doing as well as he would like to pretend it is.

01:51:23.000 Probably.

01:51:24.000 But my thing, it doesn't even matter when they say the stocks are up and all that.

01:51:29.000 What matters is your personal life.

01:51:30.000 Are you in a better place?

01:51:32.000 Because he's president.

01:51:33.000 What's matter to you?

01:51:34.000 But for some people, they're not, right?

01:51:36.000 Some people, if you get rounded up by ICE, no, you're not.

01:51:40.000 Yeah, you're not.

01:51:41.000 It's horrible.

01:51:42.000 This is the worst time ever for perception of us in terms of the way we handle immigrants.

01:51:47.000 Right.

01:51:48.000 Well, you know the bad part about immigrants. 1.00

01:51:52.000 It's all bad.

01:51:52.000 But you know the problem is they've dealt with this problem, what, for the last 30, 40 years?

01:51:58.000 I mean, and if they make nicer facilities, let's say they know they're coming.

01:52:04.000 So they don't have enough judges.

01:52:06.000 The facilities are horrible.

01:52:07.000 So let's say they make nicer facilities.

01:52:10.000 Then the government thinks, the whole thinking of the government is, if we do that, then that's going to encourage more to come.

01:52:16.000 Because now it's nice. 0.81

01:52:17.000 Yeah, they're like, bro, you get over there, it's nice, you get a shower, they have delicious food, they have a taco stand, you have a fucking party over there, bro, margaritas, you party with the guards once you get to know them, they're good guys. 0.78

01:52:30.000 And that's the thing, it's like, what do you do? 0.82

01:52:33.000 What do you do?

01:52:35.000 This is a problem that will take generations to fix, and And it is a problem.

01:52:41.000 There is a problem.

01:52:42.000 The only way it's really going to get fixed, really, is two ways.

01:52:45.000 One, you've got to make drugs legal.

01:52:47.000 And two, you've got to prop up all these countries.

01:52:50.000 All these countries that are third world countries where these people are fleeing because they don't have any possibility.

01:52:55.000 There's no hope for them.

01:52:56.000 Wherever they are, if they're in incredibly poor countries...

01:53:00.000 We're good to go.

01:53:16.000 The lows of the lows are people that are living in these places that are disease ridden, poverty stricken, horrible, with no future.

01:53:26.000 We've got to figure out a way to bring everybody to a comfortable middle all over the world.

01:53:31.000 So that there's no extreme poverty in any location anywhere.

01:53:36.000 We want to eradicate diseases.

01:53:37.000 Okay, for sure we do, right?

01:53:39.000 We all do.

01:53:40.000 Don't we want to eradicate the problem, the dis-ease of poverty?

01:53:45.000 It's a dis-ease.

01:53:46.000 It's a terrible feeling to be poor and scrounging for food in a crime-ridden environment.

01:53:52.000 And the only way to fix that is put attention on those areas and use money to try to raise it up.

01:53:57.000 They're not going to raise it up on their own.

01:53:58.000 They never have.

01:53:59.000 No, and never will.

01:54:00.000 Yeah, I just think, globally, if people ever could get their shit together, and this is what I hope, this is my, if I had like a pipe dream of technology, that technology gets us to a place where we can read each other's minds.

01:54:16.000 And I think this is possible.

01:54:18.000 And I think once we can read each other's minds, we can understand that we're not that dissimilar.

01:54:23.000 That we're not nearly as far apart as we think we are, and that most of our problems that we have Are problems of ego and problems of ideology and problems of ethics and morals and truth and lies and that reading each other's minds will sort a lot of that out and then we're going to figure out a way to I don't want to say for redistribution of wealth.

01:54:47.000 I don't think you should just give people things.

01:54:49.000 What I think you should do is try to figure out a way to rebuild communities and give people opportunities to live better lives.

01:54:54.000 And we have to do that globally.

01:54:56.000 But I think the problem today is present it to...

01:55:00.000 Because I listen to both sides.

01:55:01.000 When you travel as a comic, people just come up to you and tell you their views on just random things.

01:55:06.000 So you hear from both sides.

01:55:07.000 One side is like, I don't want to just give out stuff for free.

01:55:10.000 Why should I give them stuff?

01:55:12.000 I worked hard for mine.

01:55:13.000 And you got other people that go, we need to help everyone out because we are the world type of situation.

01:55:19.000 They're both right.

01:55:20.000 This is why it's confusing.

01:55:21.000 Yes.

01:55:22.000 They're 100% both right.

01:55:23.000 You don't want to give people stuff.

01:55:25.000 But you don't want to just, you got lucky. 0.99

01:55:29.000 You got lucky as fuck. 1.00

01:55:30.000 You're born in America. 1.00

01:55:31.000 I mean, you're from Texas.

01:55:33.000 I'm from Boston.

01:55:34.000 Dude, we're from the industrialized Western world in the pinnacle of civilization in terms of opportunity.

01:55:41.000 There's never been a place like this. 0.98

01:55:43.000 We're the luckiest fucking people that ever walked the face of the planet. 1.00

01:55:46.000 Anybody who doesn't acknowledge that, you've got to be crazy, man. 0.99

01:55:49.000 I became friends with this lady at a restaurant, and me and my wife and son would always go in there.

01:55:54.000 And we got really close, and she was just talking about her family's from Ecuador, and her kids, she can't afford her kids to be over here, so she's sending them to school over there, and she keeps sending money over there.

01:56:06.000 But it's riddled with gangs.

01:56:09.000 Nothing but gangs out there.

01:56:11.000 And if they find out you're in America sending money back, they'll hold your family hostage.

01:56:15.000 Ugh.

01:56:15.000 You know what I mean?

01:56:16.000 And that's real.

01:56:18.000 People don't believe that.

01:56:19.000 They think they, oh, that's not.

01:56:20.000 It's real.

01:56:21.000 Like, this lady we've known for over, like, eight years.

01:56:24.000 And she tells these stories about, like, her sending her money and she has a person out there that basically, you know, lives in a little house and keeps everything secret.

01:56:33.000 Because if it comes out that she's sending money to them, they'll hold that family hostage and cut their fingers off and Yeah. 0.99

01:56:41.000 Dude, that's real.

01:56:42.000 It's bad.

01:56:43.000 And we're living here, you know, we're lucky we're doing this podcast, but there are people struggling, and when I hear people go, ah, you know, that's their problem.

01:56:52.000 Nah, that's terrible, man.

01:56:54.000 That's the world's problem. 1.00

01:56:55.000 You're an awful human being. 1.00

01:56:57.000 Yeah, your perspective sucks, for sure. 1.00

01:56:59.000 It's terrible. 1.00

01:57:00.000 And it's going on all over the world, and it's creating this, and I feel that, you know, we're creating this me, me, me.

01:57:06.000 Yeah.

01:57:07.000 But I also think we need to also have conversations about it.

01:57:10.000 I did a show in Kansas City, and I always talk about when I do stand-up, I don't talk politics.

01:57:15.000 So, you know, you do the local press and things.

01:57:18.000 And there were people that come out to my shows in Trump hats, like literally wearing Trump hats, sat front row. 1.00

01:57:25.000 Did they do that to fuck with you? 1.00

01:57:26.000 I don't know. 1.00

01:57:27.000 They probably did.

01:57:28.000 Also, I don't care.

01:57:29.000 But they probably did.

01:57:30.000 They probably did.

01:57:31.000 Yeah.

01:57:31.000 Because after the show, literally, and when I say Trump supporters, they look.

01:57:36.000 I mean like the big husky guy.

01:57:38.000 Hey, how you doing?

01:57:39.000 Like that type of thing.

01:57:40.000 And they go, we heard our wife said you weren't going to talk politics, so we want to see.

01:57:46.000 And then she goes, he's right, you didn't.

01:57:49.000 Oh, God.

01:57:50.000 We want to see.

01:57:51.000 We want to sit up front where our Trump had to support our leader. 0.99

01:57:54.000 Just in case you crack any funnies about his orange skin or his fucked up hair. 0.99

01:57:58.000 But I didn't. 0.96

01:57:58.000 I didn't because that's not my comedy, but basically they bought tons of merch because I didn't do it. 0.96

01:58:04.000 And they also said something that was important.

01:58:06.000 And I think this is important to know when you try to make a point to somebody.

01:58:11.000 When you start off yelling at them, it's never going to go well.

01:58:14.000 If you can explain it to them through your eyes and not yell, have a conversation.

01:58:19.000 Because I talk a lot about, like, you know...

01:58:22.000 I talk a lot about growing up in an all-white neighborhood and the racist things that I encountered.

01:58:26.000 And I didn't yell at them. 0.98

01:58:28.000 And I didn't say, I hate white people. 0.98

01:58:30.000 I just told my point of view. 0.97

01:58:32.000 And they actually were open and they actually responded, I understand now.

01:58:37.000 You know, nobody's ever explained it to us like that.

01:58:40.000 And I think it's about conversation.

01:58:42.000 Because when we watch TV, it's all about... 1.00

01:58:45.000 You suck! 1.00

01:58:46.000 You suck! 1.00

01:58:46.000 Well, let me tell you why. 1.00

01:58:48.000 You got to start from a place.

01:58:50.000 Put it like this.

01:58:51.000 I don't know if you heard of this Green Deal where they want to take 70% of anyone that makes over $10 million, 70% of their income.

01:58:58.000 That's hilarious.

01:58:59.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:59:00.000 Good luck, bitch. 1.00

01:59:01.000 It's the dumbest thing ever. 1.00

01:59:02.000 That's AOC, right? 1.00

01:59:03.000 Is that her idea? 1.00

01:59:04.000 It's the dumbest thing ever. 1.00

01:59:06.000 I wasn't calling her a bitch when I said that. 1.00

01:59:08.000 No, no, no. 0.96

01:59:08.000 I like her. 0.96

01:59:09.000 I was saying good luck, bitch, as an expression. 1.00

01:59:12.000 Yes. 0.99

01:59:12.000 I like her, too. 0.99

01:59:13.000 I don't agree with her with that, but I like her.

01:59:16.000 But what I'm saying is, my friend was like, oh, you know if the Democrats win, that's going to get passed because we hate rich people.

01:59:22.000 And I go, that's the problem.

01:59:23.000 We're starting at hate.

01:59:24.000 The reason why you think it's going to pass is because you think people hate rich people.

01:59:28.000 See, and you've got to have a conversation.

01:59:30.000 That's not going to fix it.

01:59:31.000 Here's the thing.

01:59:32.000 First of all, you've got incompetent use of funds.

01:59:35.000 Where does the money go?

01:59:36.000 All our taxes, where does it go?

01:59:38.000 This idea that if you tax the rich, that all of a sudden all the problems will stop existing. 0.96

01:59:42.000 That is so silly. 0.96

01:59:43.000 You still have incompetent people that are distributing the money. 0.98

01:59:45.000 They'll just create more jobs, there'll be more red tape, more bureaucrats. 1.00

01:59:51.000 What we've got to do is figure out a real plan for engineering our civilization better.

01:59:58.000 That's what people have to do, and there should be real discussion from real experts, biologists, historians, psychologists, people who really understand human beings, really understand what's wrong with our society today,

02:00:14.000 and we have an open discussion nationally about that.

02:00:17.000 That can never happen.

02:00:18.000 Of course it can.

02:00:19.000 No, no, no.

02:00:20.000 Right now, because of the government.

02:00:22.000 Here's the thing.

02:00:23.000 What do you mean?

02:00:23.000 That can happen.

02:00:24.000 It's just we have to look at it in terms of a real priority.

02:00:27.000 But no, it goes by whoever parties in charge their priorities.

02:00:33.000 Somebody has to make it a priority for the nation.

02:00:36.000 That's what I'm saying.

02:00:37.000 But that's not impossible.

02:00:38.000 But until you have a person, I believe everything can be fixed.

02:00:43.000 This is a simple fix.

02:00:44.000 If you just elect a person that takes some Republican values and some Democratic values.

02:00:49.000 The thing is, right now in politics, you have to be one or the other.

02:00:52.000 Like, if a person came in and goes, you know what?

02:00:55.000 I like these Republican ideas.

02:00:56.000 I like these Democratic ideas.

02:00:58.000 Let's roll.

02:00:59.000 I'm going to be down the middle and let's roll with both of them.

02:01:01.000 It's called being a centrist.

02:01:03.000 Yeah, that exists.

02:01:03.000 Yeah, but it needs to win.

02:01:06.000 But that can happen.

02:01:07.000 It can happen.

02:01:08.000 All of it can happen.

02:01:09.000 You just need the right person.

02:01:10.000 But until that happens- What does that mean, though?

02:01:12.000 Every four years, we figure out what happens, right? 0.98

02:01:15.000 And before Trump won, we never thought a reality show fucking guy could win, but that guy won. 0.99

02:01:20.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:01:20.000 And you go, okay, well, now we know that happens. 0.99

02:01:23.000 All of this stuff can happen.

02:01:25.000 We're not asking for alchemy.

02:01:26.000 We're not trying to turn lead into gold.

02:01:28.000 We're trying to figure out a way.

02:01:29.000 But you're going against a system that is… You are.

02:01:33.000 There's a new system.

02:01:35.000 The new system is the system of public opinion which is readily accessible.

02:01:39.000 Absolutely.

02:01:40.000 And that's never happened before.

02:01:41.000 There's never been a time where everyone had a say in one way, shape, or form.

02:01:46.000 Whether it's through commenting, through Instagram, or Twitter, or social media.

02:01:50.000 That's one of the reasons why upholding the freedom of speech in these things is so important.

02:01:54.000 Even if people are saying things you don't agree with.

02:01:57.000 The only way this all gets sorted out is we get to figure out a way to express ourselves.

02:02:01.000 And there's going to be arguments back and forth, but what you've got to do is someone's got to put forth an educated plan, like a plan that's based on science and reason and a plan that you can debate against opposers of that plan.

02:02:14.000 But when you have people that don't believe in science, how do you...

02:02:18.000 Slowly but surely, you've got to educate people.

02:02:21.000 It's going to take generations, is what I'm saying.

02:02:23.000 It's like the momentum of our stubbornness and our past and the sort of the systems that we find ourselves stuck in, systems of behavior and thinking and culture...

02:02:34.000 All that stuff is going to take a long time before we sort the wheat from the chaff.

02:02:38.000 We've got to figure out what's good and what's bad, and we're doing it. 0.95

02:02:42.000 But we're doing it actively, and it's frustrating because you're like, God damn it, this is the worst time. 0.82

02:02:47.000 We still have all these problems. 0.98

02:02:48.000 We still have cops shooting people. 0.95

02:02:49.000 We still have crime.

02:02:50.000 We still have Wall Street theft.

02:02:52.000 We still have all this stuff.

02:02:53.000 Yeah.

02:02:54.000 But you know what I like is we know about it now.

02:02:57.000 Where it's not hidden.

02:02:58.000 Like, 20 years ago, you heard N.W.A. make that song F the Police, and they're talking about the same things that are happening today, except you would hear the song and go, oh, that's a great song.

02:03:11.000 What about Rodney King?

02:03:12.000 Yeah, Rodney King. 0.99

02:03:13.000 You watched him get the fuck beaten out of him on TV. And here's the thing about the Rodney King thing. 0.98

02:03:19.000 That guy apparently had done a bunch of crazy shit, right? 0.98

02:03:23.000 He got in a car chase with the cops. 0.99

02:03:26.000 He beat the fuck out of somebody before that. 0.94

02:03:28.000 There was a lot going on. 0.98

02:03:29.000 You just got to see the end of it while this guy is...

02:03:32.000 What was he on? 0.98

02:03:33.000 PCP or some shit? 0.99

02:03:34.000 I don't know if he... 1.00

02:03:35.000 Was he on a drug?

02:03:36.000 I think he was on PCP. PCP apparently makes you look superhuman strong.

02:03:40.000 I had a buddy of mine who got his finger bitten off while he was on PCP. So he didn't even know it.

02:03:44.000 Finger bitten off by who?

02:03:45.000 In a street fight.

02:03:46.000 Yeah.

02:03:47.000 It's like he didn't even realize his finger because he was on PCP. He didn't even realize somebody bit his finger off.

02:03:55.000 Yeah, he had his toe removed and his toe put onto his finger, where his finger used to be.

02:04:03.000 Was it a thumb?

02:04:04.000 No, it was his pinky finger, or his trigger finger.

02:04:08.000 So on one of his, and he had it curved.

02:04:11.000 So he could always throw right hooks.

02:04:12.000 So when you'd shake his hand, he would give you this weird handshake where he would shake your hand, but there was always one finger that wouldn't straighten out.

02:04:22.000 It didn't move good.

02:04:23.000 Yeah.

02:04:23.000 Because it was really his toe.

02:04:25.000 They replaced his finger with a toe.

02:04:28.000 That must have looked weird.

02:04:29.000 It was weird.

02:04:30.000 It was real weird.

02:04:31.000 Yeah, but that's PCP, son.

02:04:34.000 Living that PCP life. 1.00

02:04:35.000 Those fucking crazy people in Boston, man. 1.00

02:04:38.000 He was a boxing coach. 1.00

02:04:39.000 Ugh.

02:04:40.000 Yeah.

02:04:41.000 I don't know, man.

02:04:42.000 It's just, we need to get to a better place.

02:04:44.000 Yeah, we're getting to a better place.

02:04:45.000 But I think it's a long, slow process.

02:04:49.000 I think we are in the, I mean, there's people that say, like, hey, to minimize the suffering that people feel right now is unjust, and for you to say that is outrageous, and it's just a hallmark of your delusional perspective.

02:05:01.000 That's not true.

02:05:02.000 This is not denying the awful things of the world.

02:05:05.000 The awful things of the world exist.

02:05:06.000 But if you tried to look at this as a mathematical equation, if you looked above, you would say, well, there's a lot of problems here.

02:05:12.000 There's a lot of competing factors.

02:05:14.000 There's environmental factors.

02:05:16.000 Like, what are they doing in the world?

02:05:17.000 What are they doing to the ocean?

02:05:19.000 What are they doing to the air?

02:05:20.000 Oh, Jesus.

02:05:20.000 Everything's warming up and people are fighting over what's causing it.

02:05:24.000 They're not even paying attention.

02:05:25.000 This is madness.

02:05:26.000 But look how much knowledge there is.

02:05:28.000 Look how much discussion there is.

02:05:31.000 Movements are moving and growing and people are...

02:05:33.000 Even when they're misinformed, it's still...

02:05:36.000 There's activity.

02:05:37.000 There's all this stuff going on.

02:05:38.000 Even when someone says, hey, we're going to tax everybody that makes more than $10 million, 70%.

02:05:42.000 Like... 1.00

02:05:43.000 Bitch, you ain't taxing shit. 1.00

02:05:44.000 Stop. 1.00

02:05:45.000 Just stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

02:05:47.000 Just because someone works really hard, you can't take all of it.

02:05:49.000 Look, stop people from stealing money.

02:05:51.000 Stop people from... 0.98

02:05:52.000 But if you...

02:05:53.000 People say, well, we want equality of outcome.

02:05:55.000 Okay.

02:05:56.000 As soon as we get equality of effort, talk to me.

02:06:00.000 Yes, thank you.

02:06:00.000 As soon as we get...

02:06:01.000 Because some people don't hustle.

02:06:04.000 They just don't.

02:06:04.000 And I don't know why.

02:06:05.000 Maybe it's the way they were raised.

02:06:07.000 Maybe they have poor nutrition.

02:06:08.000 Maybe they have hookworm. 1.00

02:06:09.000 I don't know what the fuck it is. 0.99

02:06:11.000 But don't say that everybody's supposed to hit the right spot. 0.98

02:06:14.000 Everyone's gonna get to this spot, and then after that spot, we're gonna divvy up all the money.

02:06:18.000 So nobody ever makes more than $100,000 a year and the world's a better place. 0.98

02:06:21.000 Bitch, that doesn't make the world a better place. 1.00

02:06:23.000 That makes lazy people happy. 1.00

02:06:24.000 That some fucking juggernaut like Mark Cuban or one of these billionaire characters is like hustling constantly and gathering up massive resources. 0.99

02:06:33.000 Yeah, he's playing the game of Monopoly, but he's playing it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 0.99

02:06:36.000 That's his option.

02:06:38.000 He can do that.

02:06:38.000 You can't stop people from doing that.

02:06:40.000 What you can stop them is from doing unjust things with that money.

02:06:44.000 And what maybe you can do is help someone lean towards a Bill Gates type situation where he does so much good and so much charitable work.

02:06:54.000 It helps out so many people that you go, oh, well maybe it's not a bad thing for a guy like that to have all that money.

02:07:00.000 Because you don't have to think of him as just Mr. Moneybags.

02:07:02.000 Maybe you can think of him as he does have access to all this money, but he's also this incredible resource for hope and change and prosperity for some folks.

02:07:11.000 I think people wouldn't mind giving money.

02:07:16.000 To something that they see being built.

02:07:19.000 Like, if there's work into it.

02:07:21.000 People hate the idea of just giving money and not seeing something from it.

02:07:25.000 Sure.

02:07:25.000 But when you're building stuff.

02:07:27.000 Giving it to people that don't know what the fuck to do with it, and they're just going to find a use for it.

02:07:31.000 Because that's what bureaucracy is. 0.92

02:07:33.000 Yeah.

02:07:34.000 I don't know, man.

02:07:35.000 I don't know.

02:07:36.000 I don't know, Joe.

02:07:56.000 You can't move forward.

02:07:58.000 All this great stuff you're saying can't move forward because it starts from the top, Joe.

02:08:02.000 That's true.

02:08:03.000 It starts from the top.

02:08:04.000 What's interesting is one of the things that's cool about the government fighting is you get to see that even the president can't do the things that he wants.

02:08:10.000 He has to consult with people and they have to agree on something.

02:08:14.000 And it has to be reasonable.

02:08:15.000 And they have to present it to the American people.

02:08:17.000 And so the people have to represent their constituents.

02:08:19.000 And so you're seeing this really fascinating thing because you've never had a guy like Trump in office before. 1.00

02:08:24.000 So you see him say he's going to do things and then you see the rest of the government going, the fuck you are? 1.00

02:08:30.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:08:30.000 The fuck you are? 1.00

02:08:31.000 And then you watch this stalemate. 1.00

02:08:33.000 You watch this go down.

02:08:34.000 And you watch these people being forced to negotiate in the way Trump is forced to talk about Nancy Pelosi because she has so much power.

02:08:41.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:08:41.000 You know he wants to call her a cunt. 1.00

02:08:44.000 He wants to call her an old witch. 1.00

02:08:45.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:08:46.000 But he has to pay the respect because he knows now. 0.99

02:08:48.000 She golf claps right in his face. 1.00

02:08:50.000 She's like, gives him this.

02:08:53.000 Man, it's so fun to watch right now.

02:08:56.000 It is a fun time, man.

02:08:58.000 And with social media being so big, how do you deal with people like the haters?

02:09:03.000 Because there's so many people.

02:09:04.000 I call them thumb thugs. 1.00

02:09:05.000 But how do you deal?

02:09:06.000 They're hating in the dark.

02:09:08.000 I don't know what they're doing.

02:09:09.000 You don't read all those comments, do you? 1.00

02:09:11.000 I don't read shit anymore, man. 1.00

02:09:12.000 Yeah? 0.99

02:09:13.000 I very, very rarely go into mentions.

02:09:16.000 And if I do, it's usually a mistake.

02:09:18.000 I just do my best.

02:09:20.000 Yeah.

02:09:21.000 I do my best.

02:09:21.000 I post and I go.

02:09:23.000 I post and ghost.

02:09:24.000 You don't even look at people's feeds, do you?

02:09:26.000 No.

02:09:27.000 I look at some people's feeds on Instagram when I'm bored.

02:09:29.000 Yeah.

02:09:29.000 You know, I'll read some things.

02:09:32.000 You know, I look at some cool pictures. 0.99

02:09:33.000 I watch some inspirational shit. 0.98

02:09:34.000 I like going to the rocks, seeing them lifting weights. 0.99

02:09:37.000 Man.

02:09:37.000 I get pumped up.

02:09:37.000 I want to go to the gym.

02:09:38.000 Let me tell you.

02:09:39.000 The Rock is amazing.

02:09:40.000 Let me tell you, I interviewed The Rock.

02:09:43.000 The first time I met him was like 11 years ago during the game plan.

02:09:46.000 And we just hit it off, right?

02:09:48.000 Game plan?

02:09:48.000 The game plan.

02:09:49.000 That's where he played a quarterback.

02:09:51.000 He was a lot thinner.

02:09:52.000 It was his first breakout movie.

02:09:53.000 Oh, okay.

02:09:54.000 He did Scorpion and then the game plan.

02:09:56.000 And after that interview...

02:09:58.000 We're good to go.

02:10:06.000 We're good to go.

02:10:15.000 Yo, are you doing, are you going to the acting coach?

02:10:18.000 Are you working on your goals?

02:10:19.000 Are you improving?

02:10:20.000 Like literally his Instagram, but in real life.

02:10:22.000 And he'll never know this, but it's a thing that's, for me, just average schmo, Michael Yo, to take the time out every time I interview him, to ask me if I'm achieving my goals, if I'm moving forward in life, giving me positive things, positive thoughts,

02:10:38.000 to take that time like five minutes after every interview.

02:10:41.000 And this dude is booked nonstop.

02:10:43.000 But to actually take time, It's just so inspirational.

02:10:48.000 And to see him be the biggest movie star in the world, and he knows everybody's name.

02:10:52.000 He's very respectful.

02:10:53.000 I don't know if he has an earpiece, but he's like the president.

02:10:58.000 He knows everybody's name.

02:11:00.000 He could be president.

02:11:00.000 Oh, 100%.

02:11:01.000 100%.

02:11:02.000 100% he could be president.

02:11:04.000 100%.

02:11:04.000 I would vote for him.

02:11:05.000 I would too.

02:11:06.000 Because he's just a hard worker.

02:11:09.000 He also comes from humble beginnings.

02:11:10.000 Yes.

02:11:10.000 I mean, he's in Hawaii right now and he's filming on his Instagram.

02:11:13.000 He's talking about all the neighborhoods that he goes back to to check to see where he was from when he was poor and starving.

02:11:19.000 Yeah.

02:11:19.000 You know, I mean, he really is from humble beginnings.

02:11:22.000 I mean, he had only like, you know, it's the story of like $5 left in his account.

02:11:27.000 Mm-hmm.

02:11:53.000 Yeah.

02:12:05.000 We're good to go.

02:12:21.000 They don't know how much that means.

02:12:23.000 Just that little time he spends, it means so much.

02:12:26.000 Yeah, I think he knows.

02:12:26.000 I think he does know.

02:12:27.000 I think he's a genuine leader.

02:12:28.000 He is.

02:12:29.000 100%.

02:12:30.000 I think that's why so many people like him, because what he says is authentic.

02:12:35.000 It's really who he is.

02:12:36.000 There is nothing fake about that man.

02:12:38.000 You don't have to be fake.

02:12:39.000 You just have to be successful.

02:12:40.000 And if you want to work as hard as that guy, you can be successful.

02:12:44.000 I asked one day, I was like, do you just take a bunch of pictures at the gym?

02:12:48.000 And just post throughout the day.

02:12:50.000 You don't get that big from taking pictures, bro.

02:12:52.000 I know, man. 0.99

02:12:53.000 That guy's picking heavy shit up. 1.00

02:12:55.000 That's too big. 0.99

02:12:56.000 But you know what?

02:12:57.000 That's just too big, Joe.

02:12:59.000 It's not too big for him.

02:13:00.000 He's an action star.

02:13:01.000 Dude, and he's the first action star that looks like an action star.

02:13:04.000 I would want him to save my life, in real life. 0.95

02:13:07.000 Wow, what is he, like six, seven or some shit like that? 0.98

02:13:09.000 How tall is he? 0.99

02:13:11.000 He's giant.

02:13:12.000 He's a little bit taller than me.

02:13:13.000 I'm 6'3".

02:13:13.000 He's giant.

02:13:14.000 He's built like a fucking legitimate superhero. 0.99

02:13:18.000 Will Smith was my guy, but I left Will Smith for The Rock. 1.00

02:13:21.000 Damn, you left him. 0.99

02:13:22.000 No, no, no. 1.00

02:13:22.000 You left Will? 1.00

02:13:23.000 No, I didn't.

02:13:24.000 Wow.

02:13:26.000 You gotta do what you gotta do, bro.

02:13:27.000 A burning building.

02:13:28.000 A burning building.

02:13:29.000 Who's gonna save you?

02:13:30.000 Will Smith might save you, too.

02:13:35.000 Aliens coming at you.

02:13:37.000 Independence Day, did you not see Will Smith? 1.00

02:13:39.000 Save the world, you motherfucker. 0.99

02:13:40.000 Look, I love Will Smith. 1.00

02:13:42.000 Jesus Christ, bro.

02:13:44.000 An earthquake.

02:13:45.000 An earthquake.

02:13:46.000 Well, if you want someone to hold one hand on the top of a building and then hold your wrist with another and know that he's got you, according to the movie poster, that's The Rock.

02:13:56.000 See?

02:13:56.000 I never saw Will Smith holding the top of a building and holding someone by the hand.

02:14:01.000 Will Smith can shoot a gun.

02:14:02.000 He fucked up those zombies in I Am Legend. 1.00

02:14:05.000 Oh, man. 0.99

02:14:06.000 What a great movie. 1.00

02:14:07.000 That was a great fucking movie. 1.00

02:14:08.000 Oh, my goodness. 1.00

02:14:09.000 It was a great fucking movie. 1.00

02:14:10.000 God. 1.00

02:14:11.000 Yeah, but Will Smith and The Rock need to make a movie together.

02:14:14.000 They never have?

02:14:15.000 Is that real?

02:14:15.000 No.

02:14:16.000 That doesn't make sense.

02:14:16.000 That would be amazing.

02:14:17.000 That would be the biggest movie in the history of the known universe.

02:14:19.000 History.

02:14:20.000 Who else?

02:14:21.000 Tom Cruise.

02:14:21.000 Get them all together.

02:14:22.000 Tom Cruise, Will Smith, and The Rock.

02:14:24.000 Have you ever interviewed Tom Cruise?

02:14:26.000 No, but only with my brain when I'm in my sensory deprivation tank.

02:14:30.000 He reaches out to me.

02:14:31.000 Does he really?

02:14:31.000 He makes a mind meld.

02:14:33.000 He puts on his Scientology earbuds and he...

02:14:38.000 Astral travels.

02:14:38.000 Can I tell you it's an amazing interview, Tom Cruise?

02:14:40.000 What's amazing about it?

02:14:42.000 It's because you hear so many different stories.

02:14:44.000 Do you wake up with your pants off?

02:14:45.000 No, I didn't.

02:14:46.000 No, not that time.

02:14:48.000 Who am I? He sympathized me.

02:14:50.000 But he doesn't break eye contact with you.

02:14:52.000 That's what I like.

02:14:53.000 No, he's just like, hey, what's up?

02:14:55.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:14:56.000 And what he'll do is I get nervous.

02:14:59.000 No, I'm not.

02:14:59.000 No, no, no, no.

02:15:00.000 No, but that's what he's doing.

02:15:01.000 He's making you nervous.

02:15:02.000 Or he just wants you to know he's locked in.

02:15:05.000 Right.

02:15:06.000 Like, he will not break eye contact.

02:15:07.000 Like, if you look over here, he'll be like... 0.99

02:15:09.000 Probably makes it harder for you to ask fucked up questions, too. 0.99

02:15:11.000 No, what he does. 0.99

02:15:11.000 And I tell all my friends... 0.99

02:15:15.000 I tell all my friends, when you interview Tom Cruise, he will ask him a question.

02:15:20.000 He'll try to make it three minutes long.

02:15:21.000 So you can't ask him that many.

02:15:24.000 So you've got to learn.

02:15:25.000 You've got to build a relationship with him.

02:15:26.000 So then you can ask him a bunch.

02:15:28.000 See, I've interviewed him so many times.

02:15:30.000 I remember one time I walked in the room and was like, Hey Tom, I've got five minutes, so we're going to have to answer these questions.

02:15:35.000 So I got to that point.

02:15:36.000 But he's a great interviewer.

02:15:38.000 Nice guy.

02:15:39.000 Did you ever get to Scientology?

02:15:40.000 No.

02:15:41.000 Never.

02:15:41.000 Is that part of the deal?

02:15:42.000 You can't ask him about that?

02:15:43.000 Well, I heard a part of Scientology is for you to walk out the room saying how great they are.

02:15:49.000 And I just did it.

02:15:50.000 Oh, that makes sense.

02:15:51.000 I just did it.

02:15:52.000 Right.

02:15:52.000 Yeah.

02:15:52.000 So maybe...

02:15:53.000 It works.

02:15:54.000 It did.

02:15:55.000 It just worked.

02:15:55.000 Well, that's just a philosophy on how to influence people, right?

02:15:59.000 Yeah.

02:16:00.000 How to positively influence people.

02:16:01.000 You want those people really thinking the best of you.

02:16:04.000 Good strategy.

02:16:05.000 Well, everybody was like, oh, he's crazy, is this, is that.

02:16:07.000 Every time I interview, he's great.

02:16:09.000 I love Tom Cruise.

02:16:11.000 Some of my favorite people are crazy.

02:16:13.000 Yeah? 0.96

02:16:13.000 Yeah. 0.96

02:16:14.000 Tell me someone's crazy, that doesn't shake me.

02:16:16.000 I'm not like, okay, well, I'm not going to talk to them. 0.99

02:16:18.000 Everybody's a little crazy. 1.00

02:16:18.000 They're crazy. 1.00

02:16:19.000 My favorite people are all crazy. 0.99

02:16:22.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:16:22.000 Like, literally crazy. 0.98

02:16:23.000 My favorite people.

02:16:25.000 So if someone tells me that someone's crazy, I'm like, okay, what else you got?

02:16:29.000 It's crazy, not scary to me.

02:16:31.000 Like, Will Smith is awesome.

02:16:32.000 He's got to be crazy.

02:16:33.000 Will Smith? 0.97

02:16:34.000 Sure.

02:16:34.000 No.

02:16:36.000 No.

02:16:36.000 Something's going on.

02:16:37.000 Too nice.

02:16:37.000 Too nice, too smart.

02:16:39.000 No, get out of here. 0.90

02:16:40.000 Get out of here.

02:16:41.000 No.

02:16:42.000 Is he a Scientologist?

02:16:43.000 I have no idea.

02:16:44.000 Might be.

02:16:44.000 The problem I had with being an entertainment reporter, they give you questions to ask and you have to ask them, or literally, it could be your job.

02:16:56.000 So they float out like a bunch of real dumb ones? 0.99

02:16:58.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:16:58.000 Did they give you any room to like... 1.00

02:17:00.000 Oh yeah, you can do whatever you want, but they'll be like, hey, you gotta ask this question.

02:17:04.000 And it's like if somebody just got divorced, you gotta be like, hey, what happened to divorce? 0.99

02:17:09.000 Damn. 1.00

02:17:10.000 And it sucks. 1.00

02:17:11.000 You gotta ask women that? 1.00

02:17:13.000 Yeah.

02:17:14.000 That's why I stopped doing it, man.

02:17:15.000 I couldn't.

02:17:16.000 One time, what's her name?

02:17:18.000 Anna.

02:17:19.000 What's her name?

02:17:20.000 She was in Devil's Wear Prada, not Meryl Streep, but Anne Hathaway. 0.96

02:17:27.000 So they gave me the dumbest question to ask Anne Hathaway.

02:17:31.000 Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were on the cover of Vogue, and right before that, it was Anne Hathaway. 0.72

02:17:37.000 And so they told me, they go, hey, why don't you ask her what she thinks about the cover? 0.98

02:17:41.000 Because everybody was like, oh, this is bull crap that Kim Kardashian is on. 0.97

02:17:45.000 I asked Anne Hathaway that question. 0.99

02:17:47.000 And she goes, well, you know, I don't run the magazine, so it really doesn't matter to me.

02:17:51.000 I'm like, fine.

02:17:52.000 So I finished the question.

02:17:53.000 I'm walking down the stairs and go, then I hear it. 1.00

02:17:55.000 She goes, why the fuck? 0.99

02:18:01.000 I was about to turn back around because I kind of got mad, but then I was like, man, she's fucking right. 1.00

02:18:06.000 That was a dumbass question. 0.99

02:18:07.000 Well, maybe you could say, I'm sorry they made me ask you that question. 0.99

02:18:09.000 Nah, it was too late, man.

02:18:11.000 It was too late.

02:18:12.000 Yeah, that's a part of the problem. 1.00

02:18:13.000 I just feel so stupid asking those questions. 0.99

02:18:15.000 Some producers, like, winding you up like a little robot. 0.99

02:18:17.000 Click, click, click.

02:18:18.000 Get out there.

02:18:19.000 Ask the questions I ask.

02:18:19.000 And if you don't ask?

02:18:20.000 Yeah.

02:18:21.000 Oh, they get so mad.

02:18:22.000 You get in trouble.

02:18:22.000 Oh, yeah.

02:18:23.000 Yeah, they threaten your job with it.

02:18:24.000 Well, that's why those shows are always so canned.

02:18:26.000 You know, when you have people talking to entertainers and everything.

02:18:30.000 So canned.

02:18:31.000 It just seems so inauthentic.

02:18:33.000 Like, they wanted me to ask.

02:18:34.000 My first interview ever was with Jennifer Aniston at Marley and Me.

02:18:37.000 And this is right after she broke up with Brad Pitt.

02:18:40.000 They wanted you to ask about Brad Pitt?

02:18:42.000 They wanted me to ask about Brad Pitt.

02:18:44.000 And I was like, no, I can't do that.

02:18:46.000 Did you tell them no?

02:18:47.000 No, it was my first gig.

02:18:49.000 So you had to?

02:18:50.000 No, I didn't.

02:18:51.000 So I said, what if I figure out a different way to ask?

02:18:55.000 They were like, whatever you get, we need a clip.

02:18:59.000 And this was when I was at E! Entertainment.

02:19:01.000 And this was my first big shoot ever.

02:19:04.000 Jennifer Aniston.

02:19:05.000 And they were like, you're going to go out there.

02:19:06.000 So it was Marley and me.

02:19:08.000 So she just broke up with Brad Pitt.

02:19:09.000 So I go, since the movie's about a dog, I go, what's the similarities between a dog and a man?

02:19:22.000 And she laughs and gives a great answer about, you know, one will be around, but a dog is always forever.

02:19:28.000 You know, like, men can treat you wrong.

02:19:30.000 So, I got a great answer from it.

02:19:32.000 And I didn't have to ask about Brad Pitt.

02:19:33.000 And that's the thing is, if you find a smart way to ask it, you can ask it.

02:19:37.000 But they just sometimes want you to be just so brutal.

02:19:40.000 It's, I can't.

02:19:42.000 Well, it's because they don't have to do it.

02:19:44.000 And they don't keep the relationships.

02:19:46.000 They don't care about the relationships.

02:19:47.000 Exactly.

02:19:48.000 And they just don't even care about you.

02:19:49.000 You're a little trained person that they send out. 0.90

02:19:51.000 I'm a little monkey.

02:19:52.000 Hey, person.

02:19:53.000 Little person.

02:19:54.000 Listen to me.

02:19:56.000 Little person.

02:19:57.000 You have to listen. 1.00

02:19:58.000 The person who signs the paper gets to send you off and give you a little fucking direction. 1.00

02:20:05.000 It's the grossest. 0.98

02:20:06.000 I mean, it was amazing because I got to build relationships with people, but good for you for recognizing it.

02:20:12.000 Oh, 100%.

02:20:13.000 I knew they were doing it.

02:20:14.000 I mean, not even that, but recognizing you've got to get out of that business.

02:20:17.000 Oh, 100%.

02:20:18.000 My soul couldn't do it.

02:20:20.000 I couldn't ask people about them breaking up or something tragic happening in their lives.

02:20:26.000 Like, how are you doing now?

02:20:27.000 I've run into some of them TMZ dudes that feel bad.

02:20:29.000 I'm like, look, bro, I feel bad, too, but I'm not talking to you like that.

02:20:32.000 Yeah.

02:20:33.000 Nothing good ever comes out of these.

02:20:34.000 There's no disrespect to you.

02:20:36.000 I know you're doing a job.

02:20:36.000 I'd probably do the same job if I was in your place.

02:20:40.000 When I was a kid, if TMZ was around, I'd take that job.

02:20:43.000 Yeah.

02:20:43.000 What am I going to do?

02:20:44.000 Just try to ask some famous dude a funny question?

02:20:47.000 But it's just like, it's not the way to discuss things.

02:20:50.000 No. 0.99

02:20:50.000 It's not the way to discuss things when you're coming out of the airport or you're on your way to a fucking restaurant somewhere and someone sticks a camera in your face. 0.99

02:20:56.000 It's like, come on. 0.97

02:20:57.000 Well, I wasn't doing that.

02:20:59.000 We were going to junkets.

02:21:00.000 No, no, we're talking about TMZ. TMZ, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:21:02.000 But I mean, these junkets are a brutal assault on reality.

02:21:11.000 You're saying the same thing over and over and over again.

02:21:15.000 Everyone asks you the same question.

02:21:17.000 So tell us about this show.

02:21:19.000 Michael, you play Michael Yeo.

02:21:23.000 Which is your real name.

02:21:25.000 This is crazy.

02:21:26.000 Oh, by the way, write this down.

02:21:27.000 Okay.

02:21:28.000 Michael Yo, Average Schmo.

02:21:29.000 That's your first comedy special.

02:21:31.000 You're going to call it Michael Yo, Average Schmo. 0.61

02:21:33.000 Michael Yo, Average Schmo.

02:21:34.000 Because that's what you said when you're talking about The Rock.

02:21:36.000 Yeah.

02:21:37.000 I'm an Average Schmo.

02:21:38.000 Michael Yo, Average Schmo.

02:21:39.000 So that would be a funny...

02:21:40.000 It would be my second.

02:21:41.000 Oh, that's right.

02:21:41.000 You already have one.

02:21:42.000 I just came out with it.

02:21:43.000 Yeah.

02:21:43.000 And when did it come out?

02:21:45.000 On Amazon Prime, it's free.

02:21:47.000 It came out two and a half weeks ago.

02:21:48.000 Oh, nice.

02:21:48.000 It's called Blasian.

02:21:49.000 Blasian? 0.63

02:21:50.000 Because I'm black and Asian.

02:21:51.000 I get it.

02:21:52.000 Didn't Tiger Woods say something like that?

02:21:53.000 No, he said he's Cub Blasian.

02:21:55.000 Went on Oprah and told her he wasn't black. 0.99

02:21:59.000 And black people got so pissed. 0.99

02:22:01.000 Woo! 1.00

02:22:01.000 That's a tough one to swallow. 1.00

02:22:03.000 Well, I tell you what's tougher is I was up for a job and it's a very prominent black producer told me I wasn't black enough for the job. 0.84

02:22:12.000 So hold on. 0.93

02:22:15.000 There's tanning booths close by. 1.00

02:22:17.000 I'll be back in four days and you'll rock your fucking world. 0.99

02:22:22.000 Because, dude, if you go to a tanning booth Every day. 1.00

02:22:27.000 I could not get black. 1.00

02:22:28.000 You could get dark. 0.98

02:22:30.000 But I wouldn't get black. 1.00

02:22:31.000 Dude, I can get dark.

02:22:32.000 You could get dark.

02:22:33.000 But not black. 1.00

02:22:35.000 You couldn't get black. 1.00

02:22:35.000 Well, what do they want? 1.00

02:22:36.000 They wanted black. 0.96

02:22:37.000 Like Wesley Snipes.

02:22:39.000 Yes.

02:22:40.000 No disrespect.

02:22:41.000 No disrespect.

02:22:41.000 But I guess they said, but I think it was more than just skin color.

02:22:45.000 Well, they wanted a certain, there was a certain role.

02:22:47.000 Yeah, they wanted a, like, I don't, like, when you see me, you don't think, oh, straight up black dude.

02:22:52.000 Right, right, right, right.

02:22:53.000 Yeah.

02:22:54.000 They wanted something for...

02:22:55.000 I mean, that's the thing, man. 0.97

02:22:56.000 Look, if you're making a story and you want these characters in the story, like say if you have some big fucking goon who terrorizes people, you can't get Kevin Hart to play that role. 0.96

02:23:06.000 It doesn't make any sense. 0.97

02:23:07.000 No.

02:23:07.000 That's where The Rock comes in.

02:23:09.000 Right?

02:23:09.000 He's a big giant dude.

02:23:11.000 You know what I'm saying?

02:23:11.000 Oh, I love him.

02:23:12.000 Everybody has to have...

02:23:14.000 That's the weird thing about acting, too.

02:23:16.000 It's like, man, you've got to hope somebody has something that you would do good in.

02:23:21.000 You always hope that someone's got a project that you could slot into that project.

02:23:26.000 Yeah, or you've just got to create your own.

02:23:28.000 Yeah, that's true, too.

02:23:29.000 The best is Billy Bob Thornton, that Sling Blade thing.

02:23:32.000 Do you know what he did with there?

02:23:34.000 No. 0.99

02:23:34.000 Apparently he was working on some movie, some bullshit part in some movie, and he was super depressed and started doing this fucking character. 0.99

02:23:43.000 You know, he does that character from Slingly, and then would do it in the mirror and shit, and practice it, and decided to make a whole fucking movie about it. 0.99

02:23:51.000 And that movie launched him. 0.99

02:23:54.000 It was his own idea.

02:23:55.000 Well, I mean, it's kind of like what you're doing.

02:23:57.000 You just decided to do your own thing, and now you control your own destiny.

02:24:00.000 That's where we all need to get to.

02:24:02.000 Like, honestly, what I love about comedy right now is, like, Joe Coy was my mentor, and he's blown up in comedy.

02:24:11.000 So I see people like you, Joe, and Bill Burr, and just Theo Vaughn, who took me out my very first time doing comedy ever.

02:24:21.000 Did he really?

02:24:22.000 Yeah, in Madison, Wisconsin.

02:24:23.000 You know, at, I think it's called State on Six or Six on State.

02:24:27.000 That's the first time you ever got paid?

02:24:29.000 That's the first time I ever got paid and he's the first person to ever take me out.

02:24:32.000 And I remember we laying in and he goes, you're going to see grown men eating cheese.

02:24:37.000 Like, sharing bags of cheese.

02:24:41.000 In Wisconsin.

02:24:42.000 In Wisconsin.

02:24:42.000 And as soon as we got off the plane, literally two men on a bench sharing a bag of cheese.

02:24:48.000 And he was like, I told you.

02:24:49.000 Like, it was very weird.

02:24:51.000 That is weird, the culture of cheese in Wisconsin.

02:24:54.000 Anyway.

02:24:55.000 So, now Theo's blowing up.

02:24:58.000 You're making your own path, and I think with comedy, now is the time where people can make their own path and control their own destiny and get paid really well.

02:25:05.000 I mean, just go to a comedy store and look at the parking lot now of comics.

02:25:08.000 Well, what it is now is you're not dependent upon networks anymore.

02:25:13.000 The networks that we've created, or what I like to refer to as an organic network.

02:25:18.000 There's a network of...

02:25:20.000 We're friends.

02:25:21.000 Like when you're talking about Bill Burr or Tom Segur, Ari Shafir, whoever these people are.

02:25:27.000 Chris DeLee, all these really successful popular comedians right now.

02:25:31.000 Theo and so and so and so.

02:25:33.000 Andrew Santino.

02:25:34.000 These guys are all friends with each other.

02:25:36.000 And everyone knows.

02:25:38.000 Like, if someone says, this guy's funny, you're like, well, listen to the guys who are telling you.

02:25:42.000 These guys are all hilarious.

02:25:43.000 They know who the funny people are.

02:25:45.000 They know who the pretenders are, too.

02:25:46.000 They don't talk about them, and they avoid them.

02:25:48.000 And then you know who the funny people are.

02:25:50.000 And you just, it's an organic network.

02:25:52.000 Like, there's no paperwork.

02:25:54.000 But everybody helps everybody.

02:25:55.000 And one of the beautiful things about it is, no one's fighting for scraps anymore.

02:25:59.000 It's not like there's TV shows, and there's only, like, if you and me are in the audition room, and we're friends, but we're both auditioning for the same role, like, I don't really wish you very well. 0.99

02:26:08.000 I might fuck with you. 0.98

02:26:10.000 I'm like, dude, you sweating? 1.00

02:26:11.000 What are you doing?

02:26:12.000 You look nervous?

02:26:13.000 You okay?

02:26:14.000 It's an easy gig, right?

02:26:15.000 You're not nervous about that, right?

02:26:16.000 You're going to go in there and perform.

02:26:17.000 So you're not eating each other.

02:26:19.000 Yeah, you're not eating each other.

02:26:20.000 You're not scratching and clawing for scraps.

02:26:23.000 Everybody can support each other because, first of all, there's... 0.98

02:26:27.000 Fucking thousands of places to perform just in this country. 0.98

02:26:30.000 Thousands. 0.99

02:26:32.000 And there's only a certain amount of comedians.

02:26:35.000 There's plenty of room for everybody.

02:26:37.000 Well, what I love about all you guys doing the podcast and blowing up, it's Jason Segel.

02:26:43.000 I used to interview him a lot when he was making movies and stuff.

02:26:45.000 And he said, the thing about Judd Apatow is after Freaks and Geeks, Judd basically made his own network.

02:26:52.000 James Franco and those guys, and they supported each other no matter what.

02:26:56.000 And I see that same thing happening now, and it's good with comedians.

02:27:00.000 Comedians are pairing up and saying, this is our group, and if you're funny, you're funny, and let's watch each other's back instead of competing.

02:27:09.000 I've only been in it nine years.

02:27:11.000 I know you've been in it a lot longer.

02:27:12.000 But my nine years, I saw...

02:27:20.000 We're good to go.

02:27:40.000 Podcasts don't do that.

02:27:41.000 We get on each other's podcasts, and we support each other's podcasts.

02:27:44.000 It's like, there's plenty of people, man. 0.99

02:27:47.000 Famine mentalities would have fucked everybody up. 0.97

02:27:49.000 It is, but that's what Hollywood puts out there. 0.98

02:27:52.000 It's just the circumstances.

02:27:54.000 It's not like it's an organized effort.

02:27:56.000 No, it's not.

02:27:57.000 To put out there this famine mentality.

02:27:58.000 It's just that this, there was a, like we were talking about earlier, like if you're an actor, you gotta hope somebody's got something that you fit into.

02:28:04.000 Yeah.

02:28:04.000 So all the other dudes that are like you, man, you're competing against them.

02:28:08.000 And then, you know, you hear fucking some James Franco type dude got the role. 0.96

02:28:11.000 You're like, of course. 0.99

02:28:12.000 Yeah.

02:28:12.000 He's famous.

02:28:13.000 Fuck. 1.00

02:28:13.000 I can't, I'm never gonna catch a break. 1.00

02:28:15.000 And this is the feeling that a lot of like really depressed actors have.

02:28:19.000 Well, it's interesting because I was up for this huge hosting gig like last year and looked like I was going to get it.

02:28:25.000 And then the night before, they said, oh, we gave it to this...

02:28:30.000 You know me, Joe.

02:28:39.000 I'm very safe.

02:28:40.000 I'm still trying to make it like you.

02:28:43.000 And then my agent goes, you don't sound upset.

02:28:47.000 I was like, no.

02:28:48.000 Because the way I'm wired is, I need to get to that level where I'm getting jobs I don't deserve.

02:28:53.000 You know what I mean?

02:28:56.000 So you're saying he doesn't deserve it.

02:28:58.000 I see why you wouldn't say his name.

02:29:00.000 So you're playing it safe, but you're not.

02:29:02.000 Because he knows who he is.

02:29:03.000 And he's out there listening to you right now.

02:29:05.000 But when they say you're better in the audition to him, you did this better.

02:29:09.000 That's what they said about you?

02:29:10.000 No, no, no.

02:29:10.000 That's what they're telling me.

02:29:11.000 But your agents are telling you.

02:29:12.000 No, no, no, no, no.

02:29:13.000 The casting people are telling me this. 1.00

02:29:15.000 Are they trying to fuck you? 1.00

02:29:17.000 No, no, no. 1.00

02:29:18.000 Are you sure?

02:29:18.000 I'm positive.

02:29:20.000 I'm positive.

02:29:21.000 So when I get to that point, I'm just like, I reversed it. 0.97

02:29:24.000 I was like, dude, when you get to a certain level, you get shit you don't necessarily... 0.97

02:29:30.000 He probably didn't even know he was going out for the show. 0.97

02:29:32.000 They were like, hey, we got a new contract, and we heard you could do it.

02:29:35.000 You know what I mean?

02:29:36.000 Yeah, maybe.

02:29:37.000 But that's this industry.

02:29:38.000 Once you get to a certain point, you get gigs.

02:29:40.000 You start getting things.

02:29:42.000 Once your podcast blew up...

02:29:44.000 People send you stuff.

02:29:46.000 And that's how this whole thing works.

02:29:48.000 And so my mentality is I need to get to that point where people start giving me things.

02:29:53.000 And that means working harder.

02:29:54.000 Okay, great.

02:29:55.000 Working harder.

02:29:56.000 Building my brand.

02:29:56.000 Doing stand-up.

02:29:57.000 I'll do that.

02:29:57.000 Don't ever say building your brand.

02:29:59.000 Don't say that ever again.

02:30:00.000 Building my brand?

02:30:01.000 Don't do it.

02:30:02.000 That's some nonsense talk that they throw around.

02:30:05.000 Brand?

02:30:06.000 You're building your brand, man.

02:30:08.000 Hey, dude, I really love what you're doing with your brand.

02:30:10.000 That's like a Hollywood thing that they say.

02:30:12.000 Is it?

02:30:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:30:13.000 I love what you're doing with your brand.

02:30:16.000 Ew! 1.00

02:30:17.000 Get the fuck out of here. 1.00

02:30:19.000 You don't think a brand is real? 0.99

02:30:20.000 Well, brands are real.

02:30:22.000 I'm wearing Converse sneakers.

02:30:25.000 Those are real.

02:30:27.000 See, to me, when I hear...

02:30:28.000 Actually, I'm wearing Under Armour.

02:30:29.000 Yeah.

02:30:29.000 I lied.

02:30:30.000 The Rock.

02:30:31.000 You're always supporting the Rock.

02:30:32.000 There's Cam Haynes.

02:30:32.000 My buddy Cam Haynes sent me these.

02:30:34.000 Look at that.

02:30:35.000 I wear them.

02:30:36.000 They're nice.

02:30:36.000 Wait a minute.

02:30:37.000 I like them.

02:30:37.000 No, no, no, no.

02:30:38.000 But your podcast is a brand.

02:30:42.000 I don't think of it that way.

02:30:43.000 Really?

02:30:44.000 No.

02:30:44.000 But it is.

02:30:45.000 Well, whether you think about it or not, it is.

02:30:47.000 Joe Rogan experience is a brand.

02:30:49.000 But building my brand, like, literally, there's zero thought of that.

02:30:53.000 Okay, gotcha.

02:30:54.000 You know?

02:30:54.000 You're just doing you.

02:30:55.000 I just do what I want to do.

02:30:57.000 Hey, man, just be yourself.

02:30:58.000 You can just be yourself.

02:30:59.000 It's possible.

02:31:00.000 Like, I am absolutely just doing that.

02:31:03.000 You know, I'm just really lucky that there's a slot, right?

02:31:05.000 Like, that I have interests that are, like, that I can, like, like...

02:31:09.000 The fact that I do stand-up comedy, I also do cage-fighting commentary.

02:31:14.000 Yeah.

02:31:14.000 That's not supposed to exist, right?

02:31:16.000 But you created it.

02:31:16.000 But it exists because there's a slot.

02:31:18.000 I got lucky that there was a slot there.

02:31:21.000 You know, that this exists.

02:31:22.000 This sport exists, and I have an understanding of it, and a deep appreciation for it.

02:31:27.000 And then the comedy exists, too.

02:31:28.000 And I like that, too.

02:31:29.000 Like, you don't have to do comedy.

02:31:31.000 Nobody has to do comedy.

02:31:32.000 But for me, it was like, oh, like, you could do that?

02:31:34.000 But isn't it amazing, like, when...

02:31:36.000 Like, what...

02:31:38.000 I'll be honest with you.

02:31:39.000 When I came on the show, I was like, oh my god, this is such a big show.

02:31:42.000 It's a huge show.

02:31:43.000 People get nervous.

02:31:44.000 I talk to a lot of people that come on the first time.

02:31:46.000 People get nervous coming to the show.

02:31:47.000 That's why we got all that booze over there. 0.99

02:31:49.000 But what's amazing is, do you ever think about, like, if somebody's on your show literally...

02:31:54.000 Whatever they're selling.

02:31:55.000 Or, like, you'll get somebody on this show that becomes a regular, and now they're selling out all across the country.

02:32:00.000 And that's pretty amazing, the power that you hold.

02:32:04.000 You know what I mean?

02:32:04.000 Which is great.

02:32:06.000 Which blows me away that, you know, like, the last time I saw that, I remember, you know, I was at Chelsea Lately at the beginning of it.

02:32:14.000 And when that show was at its peak, I say Chelsea Lately, Chelsea Handler, was the American idol of comedy.

02:32:20.000 If you were on that show, I didn't even do stand-up.

02:32:24.000 Literally, I was three months in.

02:32:25.000 I would bring five comedians and do 15 minutes in between everybody and sell out shows because I was on that show.

02:32:33.000 That's how much power.

02:32:35.000 She brought comedians that were retired back.

02:32:38.000 That was the first time I saw one show could be so powerful in a niche audience where if you love comedy, You're going to sell out all these people's shows while it's hot.

02:32:49.000 And now it seems like this show is that comedians come on here, and they're just selling out all over the place.

02:32:55.000 And that's a tribute to you, man, and your audience, how they're so passionate about you. 1.00

02:32:59.000 And I'm not here to kiss your ass. 1.00

02:33:00.000 Well, it's just not bullshitting people and not having people on that suck. 1.00

02:33:05.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:33:05.000 Like, doing your best. 0.98

02:33:06.000 Like, I try to go after, like, to get guys on.

02:33:10.000 Like, guys that I don't know, I hear about them.

02:33:12.000 You know, like Andrew Schultz or Tim Dillon.

02:33:14.000 I hear about these guys from New York, and people tell me, hey, you gotta see this guy. 0.96

02:33:18.000 This guy's fucking funny. 0.93

02:33:19.000 Joe List. 0.99

02:33:19.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:33:19.000 A lot of people told me, get these guys on. 0.99

02:33:22.000 And, you know, look, I'm a...

02:33:24.000 Whatever I can do to support comedy, I'm a fan.

02:33:27.000 I'm a fan of comedy.

02:33:29.000 I love it.

02:33:29.000 Even if I was never doing it, even if I've decided right now I don't ever want to tell jokes on stage ever again, I will always watch.

02:33:37.000 I love it.

02:33:38.000 I love stand-up.

02:33:39.000 I'll always love stand-up.

02:33:40.000 So if I can do something that helps stand-up and helps comedians be successful and helps encourage more people to try it because I think there's thousands and thousands of just...

02:33:53.000 Unexplored stand-ups across the country.

02:33:55.000 They just never take a chance, never do it, never have anybody encourage them, never think about doing it.

02:34:00.000 Have you ever been on stage?

02:34:01.000 I think it's a superpower.

02:34:03.000 I really do, because your senses are so high.

02:34:06.000 I've never been in a situation where when you're on stage, you're saying your act, you're thinking about something else, you're hearing conversations, like you're hearing a waitress take an order, and you're noticing what people are doing.

02:34:19.000 It's almost like an out-of-body experience.

02:34:23.000 I can't think of any other normal time throughout the day that would ever happen where it's pretty amazing what your mind can do when you're on stage.

02:34:32.000 But you have to train it.

02:34:34.000 That's one of the reasons why I have to do so much stand-up.

02:34:37.000 Even for me, after 30 years of doing it, I still have to do stand-up four days a week.

02:34:43.000 I do stand-up four days a week.

02:34:44.000 If I take a week off, that's fine.

02:34:48.000 Nothing wrong with it.

02:34:49.000 I'll take a month off.

02:34:50.000 Nothing wrong with that.

02:34:51.000 But understand that when it's time to roll again, we're going four days a week.

02:34:56.000 We're going to do two, three shows a night.

02:34:58.000 You're going to go Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or you're going to do Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

02:35:03.000 That's what you're doing, and that's the only way to do it.

02:35:05.000 Because if you don't do it that way, and you don't do three sets a night, two sets a night, four sets a night...

02:35:10.000 If you don't do that, you never stay.

02:35:11.000 You've got to get laser beam sharp. 0.96

02:35:13.000 And the only way to get that honed fucking samurai sword edge, you've got to constantly be doing it. 0.94

02:35:20.000 It's that thing that you're doing where you're talking about hearing all these things, but concentrating on what you're saying and being in the moment, which is the most critical, because they know when you're not in the moment. 0.97

02:35:29.000 They somehow or another know when you're...

02:35:31.000 You can say the same words with the same inflection, and it won't work.

02:35:35.000 That's what's amazing about it, though.

02:35:36.000 That's what I love about it.

02:35:38.000 I love how you could do two sets in a night and get a totally different reaction.

02:35:46.000 It's so exciting.

02:35:47.000 I was talking to Darnell Rollins.

02:35:49.000 He was talking about one night he had a great set, and the next one he didn't have too good of a set.

02:35:54.000 He says, I went to a grocery store and got on the mic just to get a laugh.

02:35:58.000 I just needed that.

02:36:01.000 He's like, I need to get on a mic.

02:36:02.000 I need to get one last.

02:36:03.000 Because you can't go to bed on a bad show.

02:36:06.000 Donnell is amazing on podcasts.

02:36:07.000 I'd try to talk him into doing a podcast.

02:36:09.000 Oh, he would be so good.

02:36:10.000 He's starting it.

02:36:11.000 He's already got a logo. 1.00

02:36:13.000 He calls it Too Soon with Donnell Rawls because half his shit... 1.00

02:36:19.000 He is so funny, man. 1.00

02:36:21.000 He's such a character.

02:36:22.000 He's such a good dude, too.

02:36:23.000 Just like a good dude.

02:36:25.000 You know who's a person that... 0.92

02:36:28.000 I know you're so established now and you got your crowd, but who's a person that after they go on, you're like, oh shit, I gotta bring it. 0.90

02:36:35.000 Is that still that for you? 0.94

02:36:37.000 Because your crowd is so...

02:36:38.000 I think about it with everybody. 1.00

02:36:40.000 But I don't think about it in terms of like, oh shit. 0.99

02:36:42.000 I like comedy. 0.99

02:36:44.000 This is the key to following people.

02:36:46.000 Like comedy.

02:36:47.000 Enjoy it.

02:36:47.000 Go on stage happy.

02:36:49.000 Like you're laughing.

02:36:50.000 And then do your stuff because you're working on it anyway.

02:36:52.000 It's good.

02:36:53.000 Right?

02:36:53.000 If you take enough time and enough effort and enough care on your craft and put together an act that's good, the people are going to enjoy it.

02:37:02.000 So don't worry.

02:37:04.000 Yeah.

02:37:05.000 Enjoy.

02:37:06.000 That's why I brought Joey Diaz on the road with me for so many years.

02:37:09.000 Because I knew that he was just going to erupt that place.

02:37:11.000 And by the way, when I went on stage, they were already in a great mood.

02:37:15.000 They're all laughing.

02:37:16.000 They're laughing hard.

02:37:18.000 The key is just everybody should have a good time, man.

02:37:21.000 Everybody, including your opening act and the middle act.

02:37:24.000 You want murderers to go on in front of you.

02:37:25.000 Absolutely.

02:37:27.000 The comics I bring aren't as well known yet, but Leo Flowers, Nick Garrett, Orlando Labo.

02:37:32.000 But I tell you, any room they crush.

02:37:35.000 They crush.

02:37:36.000 There's only one way for great comics to get great.

02:37:38.000 It's like playing on a good basketball team.

02:37:39.000 They gotta see them.

02:37:40.000 Absolutely.

02:37:41.000 There's a lot of guys out there that people just haven't seen, but they're good.

02:37:43.000 And I love coming in after Energy.

02:37:46.000 What about the first time you went after a big comic when you were first starting and you did well and it kind of blew you away?

02:37:53.000 I don't even know when that happened. 0.99

02:37:54.000 I ate shit for so many years. 0.99

02:37:55.000 That's all I remember. 0.99

02:37:56.000 I remember eating shit after every one good I didn't have one good set for, like, Mitzi used to set me up, too. 0.95

02:38:06.000 She would do it on purpose. 0.93

02:38:07.000 She would put you, like, when I was...

02:38:09.000 On the four spot. 1.00

02:38:10.000 In my 20s, I was young, little cutie face, and I would go on after fucking murderers. 1.00

02:38:17.000 Yeah. 0.99

02:38:18.000 Like, Martin Lawrence, when he was in his prime.

02:38:19.000 Oh, my God.

02:38:20.000 Dude, when he was wearing leather jumpsuits on stage.

02:38:22.000 Yes, and leather shirts.

02:38:23.000 Murk in the room.

02:38:25.000 I mean, murk in the room.

02:38:26.000 Where people are falling out of chairs and throwing drinks at each other.

02:38:30.000 They couldn't even handle it.

02:38:31.000 Martin Lawrence was an assassin.

02:38:33.000 It was like church. 0.97

02:38:34.000 He was an assassin, man.

02:38:36.000 I'm telling you, people forgot how good he was for a few years.

02:38:39.000 There was a few years where Martin Lawrence was nuking crowds, just like, boom!

02:38:44.000 Yeah.

02:38:45.000 And I would get on after him, and literally people would just, three quarters of the audience would go.

02:38:49.000 Get up and walk.

02:38:50.000 When he was off, they were done.

02:38:52.000 They were done.

02:38:53.000 They were ready to go home.

02:38:53.000 They were crying.

02:38:55.000 They were holding their body like, oh Jesus. 0.99

02:38:58.000 And then I would get on and say some nonsense and be like, let's get the fuck out of here. 0.99

02:39:01.000 Let's go eat. 0.98

02:39:01.000 And they would just leave. 0.98

02:39:02.000 And that was the reality of my time at the comedy store. 0.99

02:39:06.000 Where Mitzi would, she wanted you to know, you ain't shit. 0.99

02:39:09.000 Don't get crazy. 1.00

02:39:10.000 And you gotta figure out, how the fuck can you go on after all these murders? 0.99

02:39:14.000 Well, when did you figure it out? 0.99

02:39:15.000 It took a long time.

02:39:16.000 I don't know.

02:39:17.000 When I came here, I was only six years into comedy.

02:39:20.000 I didn't have any seasoning.

02:39:23.000 I was really like a scrub.

02:39:25.000 I had some material. 0.99

02:39:27.000 I could do an hour on the road, but half of it was bullshit. 0.98

02:39:30.000 I was trying to figure it out. 0.84

02:39:31.000 I had a few good bits, but they weren't good enough, and I didn't have the confidence to go on after a Martin Lawrence or a Dice Clay or anybody who was really good.

02:39:39.000 Anybody who was really famous, I would get nervous, like, Jesus.

02:39:45.000 But through that, I figured out a way to do it.

02:39:48.000 I figured out a way, like, okay, I have to figure out a way to grab people and let them know that I know the situation. 0.99

02:39:53.000 Like, oh, this unknown fucking loser has to follow Martin Lawrence. 0.99

02:39:57.000 What a thrill! 1.00

02:39:58.000 What a thrill for me, watching everybody get up.

02:40:00.000 And so I developed material for, like, bombing.

02:40:03.000 Like, inevitable bombing and recognizing the bombing and addressing it with all the rest of the audience.

02:40:08.000 And then people started laughing.

02:40:10.000 I had to follow Pryor for five weeks in a row at the Comedy Store when he was really sick.

02:40:19.000 And, um, uh, the late great Marilyn Martinez, her husband, um, and Chewy, who was the door guy at the comic store, used to help Richard Pryor to the stage, and it would take forever, because they would walk him, you know, losing control of his body,

02:40:35.000 and, um, they sat him down, and they would crank the microphone up to, like, as loud as it goes, so it was like, he would hear the feedback, like, shh!

02:40:42.000 And he would drink, probably wasn't supposed to be doing, because he was on medication, just drinking and just talking.

02:40:49.000 And a lot of it was really sad, because you realize, like, wow, this is the greatest comic of our time.

02:40:54.000 I mean, he's on the wall here in the studio.

02:40:56.000 I mean, if he's not the greatest ever, he's certainly in the conversation.

02:41:01.000 It's like, who's the greatest?

02:41:02.000 I don't know.

02:41:03.000 But there's a handful of, like, super important pioneers.

02:41:07.000 There's Lenny Bruce, and there's Richard Pryor.

02:41:09.000 Those are the two top In my opinion, those are the ones that are the most important for the art form.

02:41:14.000 There's obviously George Carlin and Kinnison and Go Down the Line and Eddie Murphy, who we're talking about before the show, too.

02:41:19.000 Still, to this day, I think was one of the all-time greats.

02:41:22.000 Well, I was telling you before, I got a chance to talk to Eddie like two years ago.

02:41:26.000 He came out with a serious movie, more dramatic.

02:41:29.000 I forgot the name of it, but it was really good.

02:41:31.000 And I asked him, you know, being a comedy, I was like, why haven't you shot another special?

02:41:36.000 And he goes, I have to put too much of my personal life in it, and I'm not ready to do that yet.

02:41:42.000 And it kind of hit me where, you know, if you go back and listen to his comedy, he talked about his real life.

02:41:47.000 He talked about his parents.

02:41:48.000 He did a lot of what Richard Pryor did.

02:41:50.000 You know, he's very personal.

02:41:51.000 And you got to remember, Eddie Murphy, a lot's gone on in his life over the last 15, 20 years.

02:41:57.000 And I think if he didn't address things when he hit the stage, people go, why didn't he talk about that?

02:42:02.000 Where Chris Rock...

02:42:04.000 And Kevin Hart, they will address whatever story's out about them and go full steam ahead.

02:42:09.000 And I think Eddie Murphy probably respects the craft too much, where he's like, I can't do it halfway.

02:42:14.000 If I'm not going to do 100%, I'm not going to do it.

02:42:17.000 That's what I took from that conversation from him.

02:42:20.000 That makes sense.

02:42:21.000 And also, just think about it.

02:42:22.000 He has two of the best specials probably ever made back then.

02:42:25.000 Like, the two biggest, where everybody still knows.

02:42:28.000 Like, people still can say...

02:42:30.000 Now that's a fire!

02:42:31.000 Now that's a fire!

02:42:32.000 You know, like, people still quote...

02:42:33.000 Those two.

02:42:34.000 I've been looking at you.

02:42:35.000 Yeah, look, he's an all-time great, even if he never does a joke again, but he still got it.

02:42:40.000 That's what's crazy.

02:42:41.000 100% he got it.

02:42:42.000 Did you ever see that thing that he did where he was roasting Bill Cosby when they took away his honorary degree?

02:42:47.000 Yes.

02:42:47.000 Dude, his timing was sharp.

02:42:49.000 Like, you were like, oh my god, he could go do stand-up right now.

02:42:52.000 But the pressure of that.

02:42:54.000 Because he has two specials.

02:42:56.000 It's kind of like I compared to Dr. Dre.

02:42:58.000 After Dr. Dre made the crown, they always said, oh, he's going to come out with another one.

02:43:02.000 And then it got to a point where, how do you back up?

02:43:04.000 I mean, the greatness of those two specials?

02:43:06.000 I mean, it's a lot to live up to.

02:43:08.000 Not saying he ever couldn't, but people are always going to say, man, you remember Delirious and Raw?

02:43:13.000 I wish he was like that.

02:43:15.000 You know?

02:43:15.000 And I think that's the fear.

02:43:16.000 I mean, maybe.

02:43:17.000 I mean, you could make that argument about a lot of guys that did keep going.

02:43:29.000 I remember the first time going to a movie theater to see a stand-up comedy special.

02:43:34.000 Two times.

02:43:35.000 Delirious and raw.

02:43:38.000 Who does that?

02:43:39.000 Kevin Hart does it, but that was my first, oh my god, Eddie Murphy on the big screen.

02:43:46.000 And those are locked in the history of time.

02:43:49.000 People are going to know those two stand-up specials.

02:43:51.000 For Raw, for sure.

02:43:52.000 Delirious, I think, was on HBO, wasn't it?

02:43:55.000 I don't remember.

02:43:55.000 Was Ra?

02:43:56.000 I think Delirious was on HBO. Was it?

02:43:58.000 I think it was an HBO special.

02:43:59.000 All I remember is- And I think Ra was in the movies.

02:44:01.000 Ra, okay.

02:44:02.000 So Ra was in the movies, but it's a kid like me going to the movies to see it.

02:44:05.000 And he was so big at the time.

02:44:07.000 And just to follow those up- That might have been part of the problem with him too.

02:44:11.000 He might have got too big.

02:44:12.000 That happens to certain comedians.

02:44:14.000 Like that happened to Steve Martin.

02:44:16.000 Yeah.

02:44:16.000 You know, Steve Martin talked about that.

02:44:18.000 I mean, I don't think either one of us is ever going to understand how famous Eddie Murphy is.

02:44:22.000 Like what it's like to be Eddie Murphy.

02:44:23.000 At that time?

02:44:24.000 No.

02:44:25.000 But even now, man, people see him and they get weirded out.

02:44:28.000 I got weirded out when I met him.

02:44:30.000 They put it in theaters four years after it aired on HBO. Delirious?

02:44:33.000 Yeah, I did see it in theaters.

02:44:36.000 Dice Clay had a movie theater film.

02:44:45.000 Dice Clay had a movie theater one.

02:44:48.000 Gabriel Iglesias has done one that's been in the movies.

02:44:51.000 Of course, Kevin Hart has.

02:44:53.000 There's been a few guys that have done them in the movies.

02:44:56.000 But, yeah.

02:44:57.000 But I remember, like, you know, Kevin Hart's was great.

02:45:00.000 But for some reason, maybe because I was a kid, it was so big to me.

02:45:04.000 But to me, it was like an event.

02:45:06.000 You know, I'm older now.

02:45:07.000 I'll go to see Kevin Hart in a movie theater.

02:45:09.000 But when I was a kid, stand-up was an event.

02:45:13.000 Especially like that.

02:45:15.000 Yeah, because you're hearing curse words.

02:45:18.000 You're hearing all these.

02:45:19.000 To this day, still reciting stuff from it.

02:45:22.000 And that's a lot of comedy specials.

02:45:24.000 You don't know the words 30 years later.

02:45:26.000 Yeah, well, the first special I ever saw, for sure, was Richard Pryor, Live in the Sunset's Trip.

02:45:33.000 My parents took me to see it.

02:45:35.000 You were there?

02:45:36.000 Yeah.

02:45:36.000 No, no, no.

02:45:37.000 I watched it in the movie theater.

02:45:38.000 Oh, okay, okay.

02:45:40.000 No, I was watching it in the movie theater.

02:45:41.000 My parents took me.

02:45:42.000 And I couldn't believe it.

02:45:44.000 Like, I had never seen anything that funny.

02:45:47.000 I couldn't imagine it.

02:45:49.000 It's so hard today for anyone to understand what it was like to hear that stuff back in, what was it, 79 or some shit?

02:45:56.000 When was live on the Sunset's trip? 0.92

02:45:59.000 Dude, that bear joke.

02:46:01.000 How about the fire?

02:46:03.000 Fire is inspirational!

02:46:06.000 I mean, go on!

02:46:07.000 Dude, he was doing jokes about burning himself, and we were crying laughing.

02:46:12.000 Same year as Delirious.

02:46:13.000 What year is it?

02:46:14.000 Released in 83. Was it really?

02:46:16.000 Yeah.

02:46:17.000 Live in the Sunset Trip was 83. Because Live in the Sunset Trip was 83. Taped in 82. Okay, so I was 13. That makes sense.

02:46:21.000 He had to tape it twice.

02:46:23.000 No, I wasn't 13. I was like 16. What was I? 84, 85, 15. I was 15 years old.

02:46:29.000 Let's see.

02:46:30.000 I was nine.

02:46:31.000 So I saw both of those movies.

02:46:33.000 And I remember...

02:46:36.000 Richard Pryor, I was like, wow, Eddie and Richard.

02:46:40.000 You could tell Eddie studied Richard because they had the same mannerisms.

02:46:44.000 A couple of the same jokes, too, just in a different way.

02:46:47.000 You know what I mean?

02:46:48.000 So, it was kind of a thing where...

02:46:51.000 I fell in love with Richard Pryor, because that was my first six, but I was nine.

02:46:56.000 I saw Sunset Strip, and then I saw the documentary where he had to shoot it two nights in a row.

02:47:01.000 The first night he bombed, and he told everybody to come back the next night, and that's the one they shot.

02:47:07.000 He shot it two nights in a row.

02:47:10.000 First one, he apologized to the crowd.

02:47:11.000 It wasn't going well.

02:47:12.000 And the second night, he said, y'all need to come back, and we're going to try this again.

02:47:17.000 Why would he want the same crowd?

02:47:19.000 Because he felt like he did a disservice to them.

02:47:22.000 But that's so weird.

02:47:23.000 They're going to hear the jokes again.

02:47:25.000 Are you sure that's true?

02:47:27.000 100%.

02:47:28.000 It's in his documentary.

02:47:29.000 100%.

02:47:30.000 You don't believe it?

02:47:31.000 I believe it.

02:47:32.000 Oh, shenanigans.

02:47:33.000 I mean, that's what was in the documentary.

02:47:35.000 Yeah, but a comic wouldn't want the same crowd to come back.

02:47:38.000 To hear the same material.

02:47:40.000 Unless he stopped it short.

02:47:41.000 Well, no, he didn't finish the show.

02:47:43.000 What was wrong with him?

02:47:45.000 He said he was just off.

02:47:46.000 It was him.

02:47:47.000 It was him.

02:47:48.000 And they were talking about the first 15 minutes of the set or 20 minutes of the set did not go well.

02:47:55.000 And he just stopped it and said, look, I'm not bringing it tonight.

02:47:57.000 It's off.

02:47:58.000 Y'all come back tomorrow night.

02:48:00.000 Jesus Christ.

02:48:01.000 And they kept the cameras and they shot it the next night.

02:48:03.000 And that's what you have.

02:48:06.000 So in 1983, I was either 14 or 15. Yeah, here it is.

02:48:10.000 It actually came out.

02:48:11.000 I'm sorry, it came out in 82. 82?

02:48:14.000 It released in Australia in 83. Okay, so if it was 82, that means I was 14. Yeah.

02:48:20.000 I was eight.

02:48:21.000 I was either 14 or 15, which makes sense.

02:48:23.000 This is a fun fact. 0.98

02:48:25.000 I definitely know it was pre-pussy for me. 0.93

02:48:27.000 Pryor lost his train of thought and forgot most of his material. 0.97

02:48:31.000 He apologized to the audience and ended the show early, leaving the audience angry.

02:48:35.000 Pryor pulled himself together and gave a much better performance the next night.

02:48:38.000 Most of the footage in the film was from the second performance.

02:48:40.000 Yeah.

02:48:42.000 Completely messed up his performance during the first filming of the show.

02:48:47.000 Yeah, but that doesn't say he brought the same audience back.

02:48:49.000 Well, in the documentary, he said...

02:48:51.000 That's what he said?

02:48:51.000 Well, because it was only one show.

02:48:54.000 What do you mean?

02:48:55.000 They didn't shoot two show specials.

02:48:57.000 Like, they only taped one night.

02:48:58.000 Well, he said they filmed one, and then they filmed it again.

02:49:01.000 Yeah, he filmed it again the next night.

02:49:03.000 Right.

02:49:03.000 So that crowd, I mean...

02:49:04.000 They get a crowd.

02:49:06.000 He can get a crowd anywhere.

02:49:08.000 In the documentary, it said he used the same crowd.

02:49:10.000 He told everybody, because he felt so bad that he cared.

02:49:13.000 That's crazy, though, that he just stopped the show.

02:49:15.000 He stopped the show.

02:49:15.000 It's so strange.

02:49:17.000 Yeah.

02:49:18.000 And he brought...

02:49:19.000 What the documentary says, he brought the same crowd back the next night, and he murdered it.

02:49:23.000 And that's what you saw.

02:49:24.000 Yeah.

02:49:26.000 And I still remember that.

02:49:27.000 I mean, those two, like, Raw, Delirious, and the Sunset Strip, forever it will stand out in my mind.

02:49:37.000 It's just amazing.

02:49:38.000 And then, like, Bill Burr's special, the black and white one.

02:49:41.000 It's, like, incredible.

02:49:43.000 Incredible.

02:49:44.000 You know?

02:49:44.000 And I just, I love watching comedy of people with jokes that I know I never could do.

02:49:50.000 Like, that's my whole thing.

02:49:51.000 You know?

02:49:51.000 I don't like watching, because I'm a family comedian, so I never watch, like, family comics.

02:49:55.000 What does that mean?

02:49:56.000 To me, I talk about family most of the time.

02:49:59.000 I don't curse that much.

02:50:01.000 How often do you curse?

02:50:03.000 In an hour show.

02:50:04.000 Twice?

02:50:04.000 Twice.

02:50:05.000 Maybe.

02:50:06.000 What words do you use? 1.00

02:50:07.000 Shit? 1.00

02:50:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:50:09.000 You ever say fuck? 1.00

02:50:10.000 No. 1.00

02:50:11.000 No?

02:50:11.000 No.

02:50:12.000 But I don't curse in real life. 0.99

02:50:14.000 This freaking guy, do you ever say that? 0.98

02:50:16.000 No. 0.99

02:50:17.000 Don't say freaking, whatever you do. 0.93

02:50:18.000 Freaking. 1.00

02:50:19.000 That's more offensive to me than fuck. 1.00

02:50:21.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:50:22.000 This freaking guy. 0.99

02:50:24.000 I'm sure I curse a couple times in this pod, but it's not in my normal conversation. 0.99

02:50:30.000 Even when I'm hanging out with my dudes, I don't really curse that much.

02:50:33.000 Really?

02:50:35.000 I don't know.

02:50:36.000 And I'm sensitive.

02:50:37.000 It's a lot going on.

02:50:40.000 And I'm sensitive?

02:50:41.000 I have my kid.

02:50:42.000 I'm so sensitive, man.

02:50:43.000 I don't know.

02:50:44.000 Did you change?

02:50:45.000 Oh, yeah.

02:50:46.000 Yeah.

02:50:47.000 Yeah.

02:50:48.000 It changes the shit out of you. 0.85

02:50:50.000 It's a biological change. 0.98

02:50:52.000 But you had girls?

02:50:53.000 All girls. 0.60

02:50:54.000 It's a recognition change.

02:50:56.000 You kind of understand life in a different perspective.

02:50:59.000 I don't know if it's really available to you if you don't have children.

02:51:03.000 I don't think it is.

02:51:04.000 I just think it's...

02:51:05.000 I don't think everybody has to have kids. 0.99

02:51:07.000 I'm not one of those zealots that says, if you don't have kids, you ain't shit. 0.99

02:51:11.000 I think that's offensive. 0.99

02:51:12.000 I don't think that's what life's all about.

02:51:14.000 I think you can affect people in a very meaningful way and never have kids, and there's nothing wrong with that.

02:51:18.000 But I think, for me at least, for being the caveman that I am, it's very important for me to see these little girls grow up and become We're good to go.

02:51:37.000 We're good to go.

02:51:47.000 And they can actually affect other people and have those other people treat the world in a different way and treat people with more respect and be nicer to people.

02:51:57.000 We could have a better world for everybody.

02:52:00.000 Your kids, my kids, everybody's kids.

02:52:02.000 The thing that struck me right away, as soon as my son was born, is...

02:52:09.000 I've never had the feeling of, I would die for him.

02:52:14.000 Like, as soon as I met him, you know, I would die for him.

02:52:18.000 As soon as he touched me. 1.00

02:52:19.000 It's like a goddamn Prince song. 1.00

02:52:21.000 You know, I would die for you. 1.00

02:52:25.000 But it's like, Princess Christ.

02:52:30.000 Gone too soon.

02:52:31.000 Yeah, what about that guy, man?

02:52:33.000 God. 0.99

02:52:33.000 You want to talk about a super powerful fucking entertainer, one of a kind human being. 0.99

02:52:39.000 I remember I was a kid, I was delivering newspapers, I was driving around, and I listened to, I had a cassette of I Want to Be Your Lover, which is like his first big hit, and I was like, holy shit, listen to this guy. 0.99

02:52:53.000 Like, listen to this guy.

02:52:55.000 And the cover is just him with his long hair with no shirt on, looking beautiful.

02:52:59.000 And the cover is like, what is he?

02:53:00.000 Like, what is going on here? 0.88

02:53:01.000 And I was almost, you know, because I was like fucking 18 or something, I was almost like turned off by the cover. 0.95

02:53:06.000 That's it right there. 0.96

02:53:07.000 Oh, yeah.

02:53:07.000 I was like, this is just, I'm not buying this.

02:53:10.000 He's just too beautiful.

02:53:12.000 He's dreamy. 1.00

02:53:13.000 Look at that goddamn mustache. 1.00

02:53:15.000 I'm having weird feelings right now. 1.00

02:53:16.000 And then I listened to, I would, you know, I mean, I listened to I Want to Be Your Lover and I was like, God damn, what an unusual dude. 0.94

02:53:23.000 Did you see Purple Rain? 0.98

02:53:24.000 I'm sure you did.

02:53:25.000 Yeah, of course.

02:53:25.000 Like, that whole Morris Day, Apollonia, like, I wanted to be Prince.

02:53:29.000 I bought an overcoat.

02:53:31.000 Just to wear a long overcoat so that some Prince would wear.

02:53:34.000 Were you too old for the Michael Jackson thing?

02:53:36.000 I had the Thriller jacket.

02:53:38.000 No, I didn't wear that.

02:53:40.000 I thought the Michael Jackson thing was interesting because I thought he's obviously a stunning, incredibly talented performer, but he was so weird and so unrelatable in every way.

02:53:52.000 So oddly feminine and childlike, even though he's in his 30s. 0.92

02:53:57.000 It was baffling to me.

02:53:58.000 I was like, I get that he's super talented, but to And then when the plastic surgery started happening, his face started changing and morphing.

02:54:05.000 I'm like, this is just strange.

02:54:06.000 Did you ever see either one in concert?

02:54:09.000 No, no, I never saw Michael Jackson or Prince.

02:54:11.000 I saw Prince.

02:54:12.000 That was an amazing show.

02:54:13.000 I had an opportunity to see Prince at the Hard Rock Cafe, and I blew it.

02:54:18.000 The Hard Rock in Vegas.

02:54:20.000 And I blew it.

02:54:20.000 I should have seen him.

02:54:21.000 I never thought he was going to die.

02:54:23.000 Yeah, and I'm seeing everybody now.

02:54:25.000 Yeah, you should.

02:54:26.000 Tom Petty is another one.

02:54:27.000 I never saw Tom Petty.

02:54:28.000 Yeah.

02:54:29.000 I went to one of those print shows at the Palladium like four years ago.

02:54:33.000 He did a random seven-night show.

02:54:34.000 There wasn't anybody there.

02:54:36.000 There was maybe 500 people there.

02:54:37.000 Really?

02:54:38.000 The whole floor was empty.

02:54:39.000 What?

02:54:39.000 I don't know why.

02:54:41.000 I don't know if nobody knew or something they didn't announce at the right time or didn't make it to Twitter, whatever.

02:54:46.000 I only heard because my friend worked there.

02:54:48.000 That's the only reason I knew about him.

02:54:49.000 Well, I think when we're looking at Prince now, we're looking at Prince as like a dead legend.

02:54:55.000 I mean, he's a legend that's gone. 0.99

02:54:57.000 And we think of him as like, God damn it. 0.98

02:54:59.000 He was so good. 0.98

02:55:00.000 He had so many great songs.

02:55:02.000 But I think back then, people thought of him as an older guy that they didn't really care as much about anymore, who hasn't put out relatively popular music for quite a while.

02:55:13.000 He turned into an artist, I guess they could say, where the music was just for himself.

02:55:18.000 It was nothing new.

02:55:19.000 Yeah.

02:55:20.000 Right?

02:55:20.000 It wasn't any new smash hits, you know?

02:55:23.000 It's like there's some guys, right, that, like, one of the things that keeps Kanye West relevant is that he's constantly putting out music.

02:55:30.000 Yeah.

02:55:31.000 He constantly puts out stuff that people love.

02:55:32.000 He constantly puts out stuff that smashes.

02:55:34.000 And some guys lose their enthusiasm for productivity.

02:55:40.000 Yeah.

02:55:43.000 Yeah.

02:55:59.000 How many tickets will he sell right now?

02:56:00.000 Yeah.

02:56:16.000 For everybody. 1.00

02:56:17.000 It might not be the best place to just talk about shit. 0.99

02:56:19.000 Maybe it's better to just do music. 0.99

02:56:21.000 Did you get to talk to him at least on the phone?

02:56:23.000 Yeah, I talked to him.

02:56:23.000 Yeah.

02:56:24.000 Very nice guy.

02:56:25.000 Let me tell you, man.

02:56:26.000 He is so opposite his persona on the outside that you see in gossip magazines and on TV. I used to host his Donda West Foundation event in Chicago.

02:56:38.000 And a lot of people don't know the good he did in Chicago.

02:56:41.000 If they had perfect attendance, he would go there every year, throw a huge concert, Bringing like Common and all different type of Chicago artists.

02:56:50.000 He would bus everybody in from all over the city and throw a free concert for all these kids that had perfect attendance.

02:56:58.000 And it was good to interview him that way because at that time, when his mom was still alive, he was such a down...

02:57:07.000 Down-to-earth, humble guy.

02:57:08.000 And actually, shy.

02:57:09.000 And shy.

02:57:10.000 Like, he was really shy.

02:57:12.000 And this was at the time I would see stories about him yelling at Sway.

02:57:17.000 And I'm like, this is not the dude that I interviewed.

02:57:20.000 He's volatile.

02:57:22.000 He goes all over the place.

02:57:23.000 Yeah.

02:57:23.000 That's part of why he's such an explosive artist.

02:57:26.000 Oh, he's incredible.

02:57:27.000 Incredible. 1.00

02:57:28.000 Those guys, the people who think different, remember that stupid Apple ad, think different? 1.00

02:57:32.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:57:32.000 There's people that really do think different. 1.00

02:57:35.000 Differently.

02:57:36.000 That's one of the problems with that Apple ad.

02:57:37.000 It's an incorrect grammar.

02:57:40.000 But there's people out there that just have a different vibe.

02:57:44.000 They're on a different frequency.

02:57:46.000 They're a different wavelength. 1.00

02:57:48.000 They're the ones who create great shit, man. 1.00

02:57:50.000 He has a gift. 1.00

02:57:51.000 I mean, he is...

02:57:52.000 You know, a lot of people outside go, oh, he's out there.

02:57:55.000 He's definitely out there, too, though.

02:57:56.000 He's out there, too.

02:57:56.000 Yeah.

02:57:57.000 But he's a genius.

02:57:58.000 He is a genius.

02:58:00.000 He's doing something in a different way.

02:58:02.000 And that moves our culture along.

02:58:05.000 That's what...

02:58:06.000 When you're doing stand-up, right?

02:58:09.000 If you're nailing something, if you really lock down something and boom, you put out a live on the Sunset Strip or a delirious or something like that, you're changing culture.

02:58:19.000 You're making people...

02:58:20.000 People are going to spread out in these ripples.

02:58:23.000 They're going to go to their job in the morning.

02:58:25.000 They're like, we saw Michael Yoho. 0.99

02:58:26.000 Holy shit, he does this joke about his cat. 1.00

02:58:28.000 Whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

02:58:29.000 Whatever the joke is. 0.99

02:58:30.000 And people be crying, laughing.

02:58:32.000 And there's ripples to that.

02:58:33.000 It's positive ripples.

02:58:34.000 You change things.

02:58:35.000 It's amazing that when you do stand up, what I love about it is when I was just a host doing the entertainment shows, I would go into castings.

02:58:45.000 And I'd go, oh, you're a host.

02:58:46.000 Go ahead.

02:58:47.000 Now, being a comedian, I will say that it's the most respected thing in our industry. 0.99

02:58:54.000 You have to have the most balls.

02:58:56.000 Yeah, I was on the set of Modern Family when the show was huge, and the actors were like, oh my god, you do stand-up, how do you do that? 0.98

02:59:02.000 And they're on the biggest television show at that time, Modern Family.

02:59:05.000 Even actors respected.

02:59:06.000 So, how castings have changed, I go in now, they go, oh, we saw you at the Improv, or we saw you here or there, and you can host, this is amazing!

02:59:14.000 So, just the respect you get From doing good comedy.

02:59:18.000 You know, it's better to me than a Taylor Swift on stage because she has a whole band. 0.99

02:59:24.000 She's having a bad night.

02:59:26.000 She can kind of like lip sync her songs.

02:59:28.000 I just saw a quote.

02:59:30.000 It says, Michael Yo says he's better than Taylor Swift and all she does is lip sync. 1.00

02:59:34.000 God damn him. 0.99

02:59:35.000 You know, when he was on E, he respected her and now that he's gone, he's flip flopping. 1.00

02:59:40.000 He's flipped!

02:59:41.000 We gotta wrap this up, dude.

02:59:42.000 We already hit three hours.

02:59:43.000 Isn't that crazy?

02:59:44.000 Stop it.

02:59:44.000 Three o'clock.

02:59:46.000 Dude. 1.00

02:59:46.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:59:48.000 What the fuck? 1.00

02:59:49.000 Three hours? 1.00

02:59:49.000 Three o'clock, bro. 1.00

02:59:50.000 No way.

02:59:51.000 It's three o'clock. 0.99

02:59:52.000 Goddamn time warp in this room. 0.99

02:59:53.000 Dude! 0.99

02:59:54.000 Michael Yo, that was a lot of fun, brother.

02:59:56.000 We'll do this again.

02:59:56.000 Thank you so much, bro.

02:59:57.000 Thank you, my friend.

02:59:57.000 Thank you, man.

02:59:57.000 Oh, tell people how to find you on Instagram, Twitter, all the jazz.

03:00:01.000 Everything at Michael Yo, that's Y-O, and my special is streaming free on Amazon Prime.

03:00:06.000 Right now.

03:00:07.000 Right now.

03:00:07.000 Go to it.

03:00:08.000 Blazion.

03:00:09.000 Everybody's got Prime.

03:00:10.000 Yeah, everybody's got Prime.

03:00:11.000 Check it out, man.

03:00:11.000 I would appreciate it.

03:00:12.000 Thank you, my friend.

03:00:13.000 That was fun.

03:00:13.000 I'm glad we did this.

03:00:14.000 Dude, me too, man.

03:00:15.000 Michael Yo, folks!

03:00:26.000 Thank you.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 09, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1280 - Michael Yo

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript