The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1290 - Bryan Callen

00:00:03.000 Yes!

00:00:03.000 And we're live, Brian Callen!

00:00:05.000 We're live!

00:00:06.000 We are live.

00:00:07.000 We are live.

00:00:08.000 We are live.

00:00:09.000 I've been listening to Radiolab on the way over here.

00:00:12.000 And they have a new episode out about the asteroid impact that killed the dinosaurs.

00:00:18.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:00:19.000 Holy shit, man. 1.00

00:00:20.000 Right. 0.99

00:00:21.000 Apparently, tell me if I'm right about this before you tell me more.

00:00:25.000 Because I want to see if I have a little knowledge.

00:00:28.000 Go ahead.

00:00:29.000 There's a very hard layer of rock that covers a large part of the Earth.

00:00:40.000 And that is proof that somehow there was an asteroid that hit and it got really, really hot and the rock got... 0.98

00:00:50.000 That is a moron's version of the science that they clearly lay out. 0.99

00:00:56.000 And by the way, it's the worst thing. 1.00

00:00:57.000 I'm also like, there's rock that got melted and it was under the ground.

00:01:02.000 Undeniable evidence of a rock from the space area.

00:01:06.000 There's a layer of the earth.

00:01:08.000 The crust of the earth is super hard because it got really hot after an asteroid hit and everybody died.

00:01:12.000 And they found dinosaur bones in it.

00:01:14.000 Yeah, bro.

00:01:17.000 I don't believe in dinosaurs because I have something called the Bible at home.

00:01:21.000 Some people don't believe in dinosaurs.

00:01:23.000 Do you know that, right?

00:01:24.000 Yeah.

00:01:24.000 The flat earth folks, they believe dinosaurs are fake.

00:01:28.000 Why is it that most flat earthers, from my experience, are generally super good at a discipline that has nothing to do with astrophysics like jiu-jitsu?

00:01:37.000 They spend a lot of time on a mat, but then they have really strong political opinions about the central banks.

00:01:42.000 I think it's just a lack of real education, and then you get caught up in these YouTube things that show you a secret, and it's very attractive.

00:01:53.000 It's very attractive to find out about some hidden stuff.

00:01:57.000 Like, oh my god, I can't believe they did this.

00:01:59.000 They hid from us the fact that the Earth is flat.

00:02:03.000 Jesus Christ, space is fake?

00:02:04.000 Bro, space is fake!

00:02:07.000 Satellites aren't real.

00:02:07.000 They're low-flying planes.

00:02:09.000 They're planes.

00:02:10.000 They're constantly beaming down this information from the sky.

00:02:14.000 Satellites are not real.

00:02:15.000 Nuclear bombs.

00:02:16.000 They're not real.

00:02:17.000 They're not real.

00:02:18.000 They're just big bombs.

00:02:19.000 But then the problem is when you break your leg and you have to set your bone or you get staph and you have to trust big pharma to cure it or you use your iPhone and it works and you're talking to somebody in Japan. 0.98

00:02:29.000 That's the big one.

00:02:30.000 The iPhone's the big one.

00:02:31.000 But why is that technology something you trust? 1.00

00:02:36.000 Your fucking iPhone has a global positioning satellite chip in it. 1.00

00:02:40.000 Stop it. 1.00

00:02:41.000 It links up with the fucking one that's in the sky and it tells you where you are on the map. 0.98

00:02:46.000 That's why your Google Maps works. 1.00

00:02:48.000 Jesus fucking Christ. 0.99

00:02:49.000 I think there are probably only five or six flat earthers. 0.99

00:02:52.000 No, there's a lot.

00:02:53.000 Yeah.

00:02:53.000 There's thousands of them.

00:02:54.000 Well, okay, thousands.

00:02:55.000 Trust me.

00:02:55.000 But that really means only five or six in the grand scheme of things.

00:02:57.000 I think the problem with all of them is that they just got married to the idea and then they're fighting it.

00:03:02.000 And if you fight it with someone who doesn't know what they're talking about, not that I do know what I'm talking about, but if you fight it with like a Sean Carroll or like a real astrophysicist, a real scientist.

00:03:10.000 Somebody studied it, yeah.

00:03:12.000 There's so much evidence.

00:03:15.000 That the earth is round and no evidence that the earth is flat.

00:03:18.000 It's one of those things where it's just like, what are you guys doing?

00:03:21.000 You're chasing your tail.

00:03:22.000 Yeah.

00:03:22.000 This is crazy.

00:03:23.000 I'm too busy.

00:03:24.000 I'm way too busy.

00:03:25.000 Too busy to follow your YouTube.

00:03:26.000 I'm too busy for Bigfoot.

00:03:27.000 Ideas.

00:03:27.000 Yeah.

00:03:28.000 That's right.

00:03:29.000 And that might have been a real thing.

00:03:30.000 Right.

00:03:31.000 You think so?

00:03:31.000 Yeah.

00:03:32.000 It was a real animal.

00:03:33.000 There was a creature?

00:03:34.000 Yeah, there was a real creature called Gigantopithecus.

00:03:36.000 It was a real animal.

00:03:37.000 It was like eight foot tall, bipedal hominid.

00:03:40.000 It absolutely existed.

00:03:41.000 Probably.

00:03:41.000 Yeah.

00:03:41.000 Like a giant ape of some sort.

00:03:43.000 Dude, if a fucking gorilla didn't exist, imagine seeing a gorilla. 1.00

00:03:46.000 Right. 1.00

00:03:46.000 You'd be like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that thing? 1.00

00:03:49.000 Six foot, 600 pounds? 1.00

00:03:51.000 Hulking, huge, hairy, black beast with a giant chest and enormous arms and pounds on his chest, runs on all fours, and you're like... 1.00

00:04:00.000 Fucking fangs. 0.99

00:04:02.000 When they fly through the air at each other and clash. 1.00

00:04:05.000 Smash into each other and fight. 1.00

00:04:06.000 Holy fuck, man. 1.00

00:04:07.000 If you didn't know that was real and you ran into a gorilla, you'd be like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:04:13.000 By the way, they didn't know mountain gorillas were even a thing until the early 1900s. 0.99

00:04:17.000 They were a legend.

00:04:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:19.000 When was the discovery of mountain gorillas?

00:04:22.000 Don't they think those giant chimps in the Congo are a hybrid?

00:04:25.000 No, they don't anymore, because they have DNA. They're the only chimpanzee species, or subspecies, I guess you'd say, that they found that has a crest on its skull like a gorilla.

00:04:36.000 1902, bro. 0.99

00:04:37.000 Damn! 1.00

00:04:38.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:04:39.000 A German explorer captained Robert von Bering.

00:04:43.000 The mountain gorilla was named the Gorilla Gorilla Beringi in honor of the captain.

00:04:50.000 Wow.

00:04:50.000 Yeah, man.

00:04:51.000 Fuck. 1.00

00:04:52.000 Look at those things. 1.00

00:04:53.000 Imagine that thing.

00:04:53.000 How about those?

00:04:54.000 That guy who is an anti-poaching agent.

00:04:57.000 He helps protect gorillas from poachers.

00:05:00.000 Yeah.

00:05:01.000 And he got them to pose standing up in a selfie.

00:05:04.000 And even better, there's video of him tickling the gorillas and the gorillas laughing. 0.93

00:05:10.000 Laughing like a person.

00:05:11.000 Dude, it's crazy.

00:05:13.000 So, was there a Bigfoot? 1.00

00:05:16.000 Fuck yeah, there was a Bigfoot. 1.00

00:05:17.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:05:18.000 It was a real thing.

00:05:19.000 That's why there's so many stories about it.

00:05:20.000 And it probably died off 100,000 years ago or something.

00:05:23.000 Right.

00:05:23.000 Do gorillas ever eat meat or they're just vegetarians?

00:05:26.000 Not gorillas, no.

00:05:27.000 Gorillas are, we are closer to chimpanzees than chimpanzees are to gorillas.

00:05:33.000 Is that true?

00:05:34.000 Yeah.

00:05:34.000 Wow.

00:05:36.000 Well, I think it's interesting in Goma where those groups of male chimps expand their territory. 0.89

00:05:42.000 They kill other males and then move their women and children into the area that they annex.

00:05:49.000 Yeah, isn't that crazy?

00:05:50.000 As groups fall on the smaller tribes of chimps and decimate them.

00:05:57.000 They have so many similarities to humans.

00:05:59.000 So many.

00:06:00.000 But these Bondo apes, they call them.

00:06:03.000 This is the giant chimp.

00:06:06.000 They nest on the ground, too, like gorillas.

00:06:09.000 Are they as violent as...

00:06:10.000 They live in large communities like chimps?

00:06:12.000 The locals have two names for chimps over there.

00:06:17.000 They have one that they call tree beaters.

00:06:18.000 Those are the regular-sized chimps.

00:06:20.000 And the other ones they call lion killers. 1.00

00:06:22.000 Damn. 1.00

00:06:22.000 They're so big. 1.00

00:06:24.000 They've got videos of these things eating a leopard.

00:06:27.000 What?

00:06:27.000 Yeah.

00:06:28.000 They're enormous chimps.

00:06:30.000 So they don't know if it killed the leopard or if the leopard died and then they're eating it.

00:06:35.000 They don't know. 0.99

00:06:36.000 But they do know one was eating a fucking leopard. 1.00

00:06:40.000 So you gotta think. 1.00

00:06:40.000 Yummy kitty cat. 1.00

00:06:42.000 When they're standing up, they're taller than me.

00:06:44.000 I'm 5'8".

00:06:44.000 They're 6 feet tall.

00:06:45.000 You're 6 feet tall?

00:06:46.000 Yeah.

00:06:46.000 So they're your height.

00:06:47.000 Yeah. 0.98

00:06:47.000 Your height, but a chimp. 0.98

00:06:49.000 And a jack chimp. 0.99

00:06:51.000 God.

00:06:51.000 It's probably 250, 300 pounds.

00:06:53.000 Well, they say they're 400 pounds.

00:06:55.000 The ones in the zoo, they have some in the Kansas City Zoo?

00:06:58.000 No, I don't believe they do.

00:06:59.000 I think they do.

00:07:00.000 No.

00:07:01.000 They have two giant chimps.

00:07:03.000 Yeah, they're just big chimps.

00:07:04.000 Those are just big chimps. 0.97

00:07:05.000 They're huge, though.

00:07:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:07:07.000 They've had chimps that are over 200 pounds.

00:07:09.000 They've had some enormous chimps, but they've never had one of these.

00:07:12.000 They live in a very specific area of the Congo.

00:07:14.000 But they've seen them.

00:07:15.000 Yes.

00:07:15.000 They have video of them.

00:07:16.000 They have photographs of them.

00:07:17.000 You can see videos, and you see camera trap photos.

00:07:19.000 They're a real animal.

00:07:20.000 It's a really big animal, man.

00:07:22.000 It's a really big chimp. 1.00

00:07:23.000 That's amazing.

00:07:24.000 Can you imagine seeing a six-foot chimp?

00:07:27.000 No.

00:07:27.000 Dude!

00:07:28.000 No, they eat your face and your genitals. 1.00

00:07:30.000 No thanks. 1.00

00:07:31.000 Just imagine standing there.

00:07:33.000 You turn a corner and there's a chimp as tall as you. 1.00

00:07:36.000 Looking at you.

00:07:37.000 Disaster.

00:07:38.000 Yeah.

00:07:38.000 I have to go low.

00:07:39.000 Have you ever seen...

00:07:40.000 Yeah, you're not going low.

00:07:41.000 No.

00:07:41.000 It doesn't matter what you...

00:07:42.000 What was that?

00:07:42.000 There was a traveling circus where they had a chimp, and they would muzzle it, and they'd have any man, the biggest man, just to hold the chimp down for six seconds, or three seconds, and no man was ever able to do it.

00:07:54.000 Of course.

00:07:55.000 This is a 150-pound chimp. 0.90

00:07:57.000 Yeah, and you wouldn't even, even if it was muzzled, man, it could still rip your arms off. 0.99

00:08:01.000 Like, what are you doing?

00:08:02.000 Yeah.

00:08:03.000 You're made out of Jell-O. I've held a small one, a baby one.

00:08:07.000 It was playing with my puppy.

00:08:08.000 And his back felt like wood.

00:08:11.000 Wood, yeah, like wood.

00:08:12.000 That's a perfect way to describe it.

00:08:13.000 That's exactly how I said it.

00:08:15.000 Like Dan Henderson probably feels.

00:08:16.000 Exactly like Dan Henderson. 0.80

00:08:18.000 He's got to be part chimp. 1.00

00:08:19.000 Yeah.

00:08:20.000 But I had a two-year-old one once on News Radio.

00:08:25.000 And when we were on the set, the scene actually got cut out.

00:08:28.000 We never wound up using the scene.

00:08:29.000 But there was a guy who was like an animal trainer.

00:08:31.000 And he had a couple different animals with him.

00:08:32.000 And one was a baby chimp in diapers. 0.99

00:08:34.000 And this baby chimp got on my back and beat on my back a couple times. 1.00

00:08:38.000 And I was like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:08:40.000 It was like you hitting me. 1.00

00:08:41.000 I was like, wow! 1.00

00:08:43.000 This fucking little tiny thing just wailed on me. 1.00

00:08:46.000 They're so strong, dude. 1.00

00:08:48.000 Yeah, they are.

00:08:48.000 Their little bodies are just hard, like corded.

00:08:52.000 No neck.

00:08:53.000 Take crazy punishment.

00:08:55.000 But that thing in the Congo, man, it's apparently in a very difficult spot to reach.

00:09:00.000 It's very dangerous to go through there.

00:09:02.000 You know, when Justin Wren goes through there, he has some hair-raising stories about being held up at gunpoint.

00:09:08.000 People thought they were going to kill somebody.

00:09:12.000 A lot of the people, a lot of the apparently...

00:09:15.000 A lot of the sort of soldiers and people who committed atrocities from the war in Rwanda kind of, in their bands, kind of moved into the Congo and lived in the jungle.

00:09:29.000 Who knows? 1.00

00:09:30.000 Justin is a fucking... 1.00

00:09:31.000 A lot of crime. 1.00

00:09:32.000 Justin Renn is a saint.

00:09:33.000 Yeah, he digs wells.

00:09:35.000 He's a legitimate saint.

00:09:36.000 Yeah.

00:09:37.000 Really is.

00:09:38.000 He's gotten malaria three times.

00:09:40.000 God.

00:09:41.000 Visiting the Congo and building wells.

00:09:44.000 Unbelievable.

00:09:44.000 It's amazing.

00:09:45.000 Yeah, he told us some amazing stories.

00:09:47.000 Heartbreaking.

00:09:48.000 It's amazing.

00:09:49.000 The Cash App, which is one of my sponsors, also sponsors Fight for the Forgotten.

00:09:55.000 They give people money.

00:09:56.000 They give $5 every time someone signs up and uses the code Joe Rogan.

00:10:00.000 And they're building wells right now because of that.

00:10:03.000 Really?

00:10:03.000 Yeah.

00:10:04.000 What was the latest number?

00:10:05.000 I forget what the number was.

00:10:06.000 They sent me an update.

00:10:08.000 Very early on, they had built two wells, and then they built a bunch more.

00:10:13.000 And provided water to a shit ton of people down there.

00:10:16.000 I don't know the exact statistics.

00:10:18.000 The guy who wrote Moonwalking with Einstein, what the hell is it?

00:10:22.000 It's a book about memory and stuff.

00:10:24.000 Really smart guy.

00:10:25.000 He lived with the pygmies in the Congo for a long time. 1.00

00:10:27.000 Oh, well that's what Justin Wren's doing.

00:10:29.000 Yeah, and said that they smoke copious amounts of wheat, at least the tribes that he lived with.

00:10:33.000 Is that the book?

00:10:34.000 Yeah, Joshua Four.

00:10:36.000 Four.

00:10:36.000 Really interesting.

00:10:37.000 What a name.

00:10:38.000 F-O-E-R. Four. 1.00

00:10:39.000 Yeah.

00:10:41.000 And I said, what is it, you know, these are people that truly have been almost untouched by Western civilization. 0.98

00:10:47.000 And he's like, well, no, I mean, they die of stupid things like, you know, you get an infection. 0.99

00:10:52.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:10:52.000 And you just, you know, you don't have antibiotics. 0.99

00:10:55.000 Yeah.

00:10:55.000 There's a lot of bacteria and parasites and stuff to get stomach parasites from water.

00:10:59.000 Skin diseases and weird things like that.

00:11:02.000 Yeah, the jungle's not...

00:11:03.000 Even if you've evolved to live in it, it's not a very...

00:11:06.000 I spent enough time in the Indonesian rainforest.

00:11:09.000 I've never seen bugs like that in my life.

00:11:11.000 I've never seen anything like it.

00:11:12.000 It's so loud, it sounds like...

00:11:14.000 Take the loudest street in Manhattan, and I'm not kidding.

00:11:17.000 That's how loud the insects and birds and everything are.

00:11:21.000 And then you have to carry a...

00:11:22.000 Bug spray does not work.

00:11:24.000 Did I ever tell you this?

00:11:25.000 Bug spray, you got to carry a sulfur coil?

00:11:27.000 Yeah.

00:11:27.000 Good luck with the mosquitoes.

00:11:28.000 Bug spray, they laugh at your fucking... 1.00

00:11:30.000 at your bug spray. 1.00

00:11:31.000 You got to carry a...

00:11:32.000 you have to burn a sulfur coil.

00:11:34.000 And you just carry...

00:11:35.000 hold it while you're walking?

00:11:35.000 That's correct.

00:11:36.000 In certain times of the day, when you wake up, they just...

00:11:39.000 they're all over the place.

00:11:40.000 What year was this that you were doing this?

00:11:41.000 God, I was 21. Did they have thermocells back then?

00:11:45.000 I don't think so. 1.00

00:11:46.000 Yeah, thermocells are shit. 0.99

00:11:47.000 Have you ever used a thermocell? 1.00

00:11:49.000 No, what is that? 0.99

00:11:49.000 Oh my god, they're a fucking game changer. 0.99

00:11:52.000 Really? 1.00

00:11:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:11:53.000 It's a device that has like a heating coil in it and some fuel.

00:11:58.000 And you ignite it, and the heating coil, it heats up, and you put this little pad across the screen.

00:12:05.000 And this little pad has this stuff in it that mosquitoes hate.

00:12:08.000 It's probably terrible for you.

00:12:09.000 Yeah, I was gonna say. 1.00

00:12:10.000 Some fucking chemical. 0.99

00:12:10.000 But the chemical wafts up in the air, and I'm telling you, it creates like a 10-foot bubble around you where no mosquitoes get in. 0.99

00:12:17.000 That's great.

00:12:18.000 Yeah, and look, even if it's a little bad for you, maybe it's like smoking a pack of cigarettes.

00:12:22.000 Yeah, better than getting fed on.

00:12:25.000 Yeah, I'm not using it every day.

00:12:27.000 I wouldn't recommend using it every day, but if it's the difference between like enjoying, like if you're in a place like Alaska.

00:12:33.000 Yeah.

00:12:33.000 Exactly.

00:12:33.000 What about Edmonton up there?

00:12:35.000 Yes, same thing.

00:12:36.000 You came back with like, you look like you had the pox. 1.00

00:12:39.000 They'll fuck you up, those mosquitoes, man. 0.99

00:12:41.000 Yeah, they're so aggressive because they're only alive for like three months, you know? 1.00

00:12:45.000 It's so cold up there. 0.99

00:12:47.000 Yeah, nature could give a fuck about you. 0.98

00:12:49.000 I love people who are into nature and they, like, listen, man. 0.98

00:12:52.000 They don't even know what nature is.

00:12:53.000 Yeah, go try to, go, exactly.

00:12:55.000 Go try to raise crops in South Africa when animals, when elephants were everywhere.

00:13:00.000 Yeah.

00:13:01.000 And lions and leopards.

00:13:02.000 Or now.

00:13:03.000 Even now, these poor villagers, they're poor, and they build these crops, and they have this farm, and they have all this food for their village, and then elephants roam in.

00:13:13.000 20 elephants go, hey man.

00:13:14.000 And that's a wrap.

00:13:15.000 There's nothing you can do. 0.99

00:13:16.000 Get the fuck out of here! 1.00

00:13:17.000 They're like, I'll stomp on you. 1.00

00:13:19.000 And then people get mad when people shoot the elephants.

00:13:22.000 It's like, okay, I get it.

00:13:24.000 But I don't know what you want here. 0.99

00:13:45.000 And then the next day, the elephants came back and stomped his fucking donkey into mush. 0.99

00:13:53.000 Just stomped. 1.00

00:13:54.000 The donkey was on a rope.

00:13:56.000 And they were like, really?

00:13:57.000 Gang, gang, gang.

00:13:58.000 And then, of course, the neighboring farm, when the elephants came, she laid out a bunch of food for them.

00:14:04.000 And they spared her her crops.

00:14:08.000 Elephants have this mystique, which is all...

00:14:10.000 By the way, maybe the biggest a-holes in the world. 1.00

00:14:13.000 Elephants?

00:14:13.000 They hate everybody.

00:14:14.000 But they were so nice.

00:14:15.000 I was in Thailand.

00:14:16.000 Yeah, there's a Thai elephant, sir.

00:14:18.000 They're different?

00:14:18.000 African elephants.

00:14:19.000 You're not taming an African elephant.

00:14:21.000 Good luck.

00:14:22.000 What's going on here?

00:14:24.000 What is this, Jamie?

00:14:24.000 Okay, Jamie's watching like this little buffalo gets up.

00:14:28.000 Oh, my God.

00:14:29.000 Yeah.

00:14:29.000 Elephant came over and rolled it over.

00:14:31.000 Yeah, they don't give a fuck about you. 0.99

00:14:32.000 It looks like he's trying to stab him. 1.00

00:14:34.000 He is. 0.93

00:14:34.000 Oh, he does. 0.93

00:14:35.000 He's killing.

00:14:37.000 So he's killing a baby?

00:14:38.000 That's probably a full-grown buffalo.

00:14:40.000 That's just a giant elephant. 0.99

00:14:42.000 Wow, she's fucking up this buffalo. 0.99

00:14:44.000 They're so dangerous. 0.99

00:14:45.000 Look it up.

00:14:46.000 Elephant stabs and kills buffalo.

00:14:48.000 Look at that.

00:14:48.000 Jesus Christ.

00:14:49.000 Well, that's why they have tusks. 0.86

00:14:51.000 Yeah.

00:14:51.000 I mean, there it is.

00:14:53.000 You know what's really crazy? 1.00

00:14:53.000 God, look at that shit. 1.00

00:14:54.000 When lions take a chance. 1.00

00:14:56.000 Wow.

00:14:56.000 That was the other video I didn't pull.

00:14:58.000 There's three elephants killing a lion.

00:14:59.000 That elephant just killed. 1.00

00:15:00.000 That is the craziest shit. 1.00

00:15:02.000 They just killed them. 1.00

00:15:03.000 That's crazy.

00:15:04.000 What's crazy is lions will take a chance on elephants.

00:15:07.000 I know.

00:15:07.000 Which is just so nuts.

00:15:10.000 They will take a chance to try to kill an elephant. 0.56

00:15:12.000 They'll jump on their back. 0.98

00:15:13.000 They'll try to jack them.

00:15:15.000 Well, when you go to a game reserve in South Africa, it has to be big enough to sustain lions because it's super expensive because a pride of lions will eat everything.

00:15:25.000 So you've got to keep replenishing the animals because they're just too effective.

00:15:30.000 Well, you know, after that dentist shot Cecil the lion, it became this international outrage.

00:15:35.000 Yeah.

00:15:36.000 They banned the lion hunting, and because of that, people didn't want to go back, and they weren't getting the money from it, so they wound up euthanizing like 200 lions.

00:15:46.000 I know.

00:15:46.000 Because their undulate population was getting devastated.

00:15:49.000 Mm-hmm.

00:15:50.000 But what made me think when I heard that, I was like, how many lions are they killing?

00:15:55.000 Like, how many people are going over there to hunt lions?

00:15:57.000 It brings in good money.

00:15:59.000 How weird is that?

00:16:00.000 A huge part of South Africa's, you know, part of the conservation efforts are that, you know, big game.

00:16:05.000 You can hunt the big five or whatever they call it.

00:16:08.000 Yes, that's exactly what they call it.

00:16:09.000 But it's a lot of money.

00:16:10.000 It is a lot of money.

00:16:12.000 And it brings them a lot of money.

00:16:13.000 And it brings them a lot of money for conservation and all that stuff.

00:16:16.000 But...

00:16:17.000 What a weird activity. 0.98

00:16:19.000 Is there an activity that's more human in that, like, we are so conflicted and so weird that the only way we have animals that stay alive in this part of the world, like where they're in record populations, is to set it up so you can kill them. 0.97

00:16:36.000 Yeah.

00:16:37.000 So, like, we figured out some weird loophole.

00:16:39.000 Like, we don't want the rhino to die.

00:16:41.000 Hey, we don't want the rhino to die either. 0.99

00:16:43.000 So, let's go get a bunch of them and we kill, like, one a week. 0.99

00:16:46.000 Come on. 1.00

00:16:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:48.000 And if they could get enough rhinos where they could make a case for that, they would be doing that.

00:16:52.000 I mean, they're doing it with lions.

00:16:53.000 They're doing it with everything.

00:16:54.000 Right.

00:16:55.000 Gazelles.

00:16:56.000 I mean, all the different animals that you would think of.

00:16:59.000 Plains animals in Africa.

00:17:00.000 They're record numbers there.

00:17:01.000 Right.

00:17:02.000 Neil Guy.

00:17:03.000 They bring them back to Texas. 0.83

00:17:04.000 They're all over Texas now.

00:17:05.000 Yep.

00:17:06.000 There's so many animals there.

00:17:07.000 And a lot of those animals were on the verge of extinction.

00:17:10.000 But they're there because people kill them. 1.00

00:17:13.000 Like, what a fucking... 1.00

00:17:14.000 It's weird. 1.00

00:17:15.000 It's weird.

00:17:16.000 The bigger issue is unbroken...

00:17:21.000 It's a migratory range and habitat.

00:17:24.000 The Masai Mara is one of the few places where they can roam for thousands of miles.

00:17:27.000 But most of Africa now is broken up into... 0.95

00:17:30.000 I think there's an area in Cameroon or whatever, but most of Africa is broken up into...

00:17:34.000 I mean, in South Africa, it's all basically, with the exception of Kruger Park, it's all abandoned cattle lots.

00:17:44.000 And then there's money in it, so you buy that lot and you just stock it with animals and then you drive around.

00:17:49.000 It's a sustainable ecosystem, but it's weird.

00:17:53.000 You do have to call the elephant population and lion population.

00:18:00.000 When we think about Africa, when we say, oh, elephants are going extinct in Africa, Africa is so big.

00:18:08.000 It's crazy.

00:18:09.000 It's so big.

00:18:10.000 You've seen the map where they stuff all the countries inside of Africa?

00:18:12.000 That was so shocking to me.

00:18:14.000 I know.

00:18:15.000 I couldn't believe that.

00:18:16.000 So there could be an abundance of them in one area and none in another area.

00:18:20.000 It's like saying they have a black bear problem in New Jersey, which they do.

00:18:24.000 Do they?

00:18:25.000 Yeah, they do.

00:18:26.000 But that doesn't affect us here in California.

00:18:29.000 If people just start shooting black bears, you're like, hey man, there's not that many of those.

00:18:32.000 Why are you shooting them?

00:18:34.000 Is it the same thing with mountain lion?

00:18:36.000 Yeah.

00:18:36.000 Well, you know, one just died.

00:18:38.000 A famous one just died.

00:18:39.000 Where?

00:18:40.000 I got a text from Rinella out here.

00:18:42.000 He ate some rat poison. 1.00

00:18:44.000 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:18:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:45.000 It's a real problem with rat poison, man. 1.00

00:18:47.000 Rat poison doesn't just affect rats.

00:18:49.000 Yeah.

00:18:50.000 You know, there's like...

00:18:51.000 There's secondary and...

00:18:53.000 My dog almost died that way.

00:18:54.000 Yeah?

00:18:54.000 And what it does is the rat poison, I think, stops you from producing vitamin K in your body, which is how you clot blood.

00:19:02.000 And so they just bleed internally.

00:19:04.000 So my dog ate a shitload of it, and they pumped his stomach, gave him charcoal, and then he had to take vitamin K supplements for a long time.

00:19:12.000 Wow.

00:19:12.000 Yeah.

00:19:14.000 Yeah, the people, they poison their rats, then things eat the rats.

00:19:19.000 You know?

00:19:20.000 Yeah.

00:19:21.000 This mountain line is a famous mountain line.

00:19:24.000 Collared, you know, one they were tracking.

00:19:26.000 Yeah, out here.

00:19:27.000 Yeah, Ranella texted me about it, and then I looked into it.

00:19:30.000 Oh, you got it there?

00:19:31.000 Which number does it say here?

00:19:33.000 P-47.

00:19:34.000 P-47.

00:19:34.000 Is that the one that they spotted at the...

00:19:36.000 Not?

00:19:37.000 No.

00:19:37.000 This one's only three years old.

00:19:38.000 Hey, we were going to get a photo of that, right?

00:19:40.000 Yes.

00:19:40.000 Yeah, let's do that.

00:19:42.000 Oh, yeah, we tracked it down.

00:19:43.000 Yeah.

00:19:44.000 What happened?

00:19:45.000 It's expensive.

00:19:46.000 Yeah, let's do that, though.

00:19:49.000 All right.

00:19:49.000 Let me know after the show.

00:19:51.000 Yeah, I was just like, which one you wanted, the artist proof, whatever, and we got into that detail of it or whatever.

00:19:55.000 Yeah, because that one photo that they caught of it, have you seen that photo of the lion with the Hollywood sign behind it?

00:20:02.000 No.

00:20:02.000 It's amazing.

00:20:04.000 It's one of the best. 0.97

00:20:05.000 Again, it's so fucking human, because this lion has a collar on it, like it's got bling on. 0.99

00:20:11.000 Really? 1.00

00:20:11.000 It's standing in front of the Hollywood sign, and it's as big as fuck. 1.00

00:20:14.000 I love that. 0.99

00:20:15.000 It's like a 150-pound mountain.

00:20:16.000 Oh, that's amazing.

00:20:17.000 Look at that photo.

00:20:18.000 That looks staged.

00:20:19.000 It looked staged.

00:20:21.000 By the way, look at the muscles.

00:20:23.000 Look at its forearm. 0.99

00:20:23.000 Yeah, that's a ridiculous animal. 0.99

00:20:25.000 That's one thing that people don't, I don't think you've realized. 0.99

00:20:29.000 Like, that's not a svelte thing like a house cat.

00:20:31.000 That's a lion, sir.

00:20:32.000 They have enormous forearms.

00:20:33.000 Yeah, it's a lion.

00:20:34.000 How much do you think that weighs?

00:20:35.000 Bring down an elk.

00:20:36.000 I bet that's 130 pounds.

00:20:38.000 Yeah, maybe 150. Think about how big that is.

00:20:40.000 That doesn't seem big, but you see a Rottweiler, a police dog, like that's, or a German Shepherd, 90 pounds.

00:20:46.000 Yeah.

00:20:47.000 Good luck.

00:20:47.000 Yeah, good luck.

00:20:48.000 And add another 60 pounds, 40 pounds.

00:20:51.000 Yeah.

00:20:52.000 That's a big animal, man.

00:20:54.000 Yeah.

00:20:55.000 It's such a big animal, and they're just wandering around our neighborhoods.

00:20:59.000 Effective killers.

00:21:00.000 Effective.

00:21:00.000 I'm having a guy come on who's a mountain lion biologist at a Topanga Canyon.

00:21:05.000 Oh, really?

00:21:06.000 Yeah, and I might actually go and trap one with him.

00:21:09.000 How many do they think there are out there?

00:21:12.000 There's quite a few.

00:21:13.000 This one weighed 150. Wow.

00:21:15.000 Damn. 1.00

00:21:16.000 The one that died. 1.00

00:21:17.000 Wow.

00:21:18.000 150. That is a big cat.

00:21:21.000 Jesus Christ.

00:21:21.000 He's only three years old.

00:21:23.000 Jesus Christ.

00:21:24.000 Three years old, he weighs 150 pounds.

00:21:26.000 Just living on deer.

00:21:27.000 Yeah.

00:21:27.000 Go look around for deer in California.

00:21:30.000 Good luck.

00:21:31.000 There ain't no deer out here.

00:21:33.000 There's so few deer.

00:21:34.000 If you're a deer hunter in California, you're sad face all year round.

00:21:37.000 You're not looking forward to it.

00:21:39.000 I see a lot of deer in Topanga.

00:21:41.000 Yeah, you see a few.

00:21:42.000 They're drawn to me.

00:21:44.000 I feed them.

00:21:44.000 Are you...

00:21:45.000 It's my alpha energy.

00:21:47.000 They feel safe with me.

00:21:48.000 But do you have a connection with them, do you think?

00:21:51.000 To be honest with you, I run with them.

00:21:52.000 Have you always been like this?

00:21:53.000 They flank me.

00:21:54.000 They would never go past me.

00:21:55.000 They flank me.

00:21:56.000 And when I do my kung fu in an open field, they surround me and they bow until I release them. 0.81

00:22:00.000 And I go, ha!

00:22:02.000 And then they run.

00:22:04.000 That's my favorite.

00:22:04.000 People that think that they have some sort of special connection with the dog.

00:22:08.000 My friend's girlfriend, we're all sitting around.

00:22:09.000 My friend's girlfriend, so hot. 1.00

00:22:12.000 So hot.

00:22:14.000 We're sitting there and she goes, and I was meditating and I saw a deer.

00:22:19.000 And it looked at me.

00:22:20.000 And the deer gave me love. 0.99

00:22:24.000 And we're all like, I'm just looking at her tits. 1.00

00:22:27.000 I was a young dude like, Jesus, she's so hot. 1.00

00:22:30.000 She's such an estrogen, you know. 1.00

00:22:33.000 And my buddy, of course, you know how you have those words and can't let it go?

00:22:37.000 Just let it go, dude.

00:22:38.000 Let her have her thing. 1.00

00:22:39.000 My buddy goes, what?

00:22:41.000 Gave you love? 1.00

00:22:42.000 Explain that shit to me. 1.00

00:22:44.000 Explain when I get all biological. 1.00

00:22:46.000 Well, you know what?

00:22:47.000 You're close-minded and you're not intuitive.

00:22:48.000 I'm really intuitive and it became that.

00:22:50.000 Intuitive.

00:22:51.000 It's my favorite thing. 1.00

00:22:52.000 I love that shit. 1.00

00:22:53.000 But those people that claim they have some special connection with animals, like animals just recognize who I am. 1.00

00:22:59.000 They know my nature.

00:23:00.000 You know who kind of schooled me?

00:23:03.000 Megan Fox, I was doing a movie with her, and I assumed she started talking about signs, and I was making fun of psychics and signs, and Megan goes, well, maybe you ever think that maybe you're a little closed-minded? 0.99

00:23:18.000 And I go, no, I'm not scientific-minded, and no, I'm not, and I think all psychics are liars, and I think astrology is bullshit. 1.00

00:23:24.000 But then Megan literally went into her knowledge of science and geology and economics Everything else and I was like, oh, you're a fucking... 1.00

00:23:34.000 Oh, oh, wait. 0.99

00:23:35.000 You're a really hot intellectual and you know a shitload and I made a judgment on you.

00:23:39.000 It was very... 0.81

00:23:40.000 It was actually embarrassing.

00:23:41.000 Isn't that interesting that you would automatically make a judgment on someone who's hot? 1.00

00:23:45.000 Like, oh, your life's been easy as fuck. 0.99

00:23:47.000 Right. 0.99

00:23:48.000 And she's not like that.

00:23:49.000 Like a judgment that you would make on the son of a rich man.

00:23:52.000 Correct.

00:23:53.000 Like if someone grew up and is in the family business...

00:23:57.000 And his father was a very successful man, but he's taking over the family business. 1.00

00:24:01.000 You would assume this guy's a bitch. 1.00

00:24:03.000 Yep. 1.00

00:24:03.000 Right? 1.00

00:24:04.000 Yep.

00:24:04.000 Most of the time.

00:24:05.000 Most of the time.

00:24:06.000 You're wrong.

00:24:06.000 So often, though.

00:24:08.000 Yes.

00:24:08.000 It's such a bad bet.

00:24:09.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:10.000 Because if a great man has a son, most likely he's going to teach that son some cool shit, and the son's going to have to live up to a certain standard. 0.98

00:24:18.000 Right. 0.99

00:24:19.000 Well, that was the thing with Megan. 1.00

00:24:20.000 I would notice after I had that interaction with her.

00:24:22.000 I've known her a little bit because I know her husband really well.

00:24:24.000 And then I noticed that every time we wouldn't be shooting, she'd be reading a book of substance.

00:24:31.000 Like, that's what she does when she's not on set.

00:24:33.000 So I was like, alright.

00:24:33.000 What are you doing?

00:24:35.000 You're laying an iPhone next to your head.

00:24:37.000 What am I doing?

00:24:37.000 Another iPhone next to the other side of your head.

00:24:39.000 And you're having these weird conversations on video.

00:24:41.000 That's my favorite thing you do.

00:24:42.000 I gotta start doing that again.

00:24:43.000 Dude, those are so funny, man.

00:24:44.000 I do that or I talk to the stuntmen and ask them, like, how much they can bench.

00:24:51.000 No way, you're a Navy SEAL? So when you shoot...

00:24:53.000 The problem with that is it invariably ends up someone pulling out mats.

00:24:58.000 And then you start rolling.

00:25:00.000 I had Pauline Malignaggi.

00:25:02.000 He was at my gym.

00:25:03.000 And then he kind of knew.

00:25:04.000 He goes, wait a minute. 1.00

00:25:05.000 I just figured out who the fuck you are. 1.00

00:25:07.000 You're the guy from the hangover. 1.00

00:25:08.000 Ah!

00:25:08.000 He's freaking out.

00:25:09.000 So I take that opportunity to ask him, like, I'm just asking him, like, some boxing questions.

00:25:15.000 Next thing I know, he's giving me a boxing lesson. 0.97

00:25:16.000 How fucking cool is that? 0.98

00:25:18.000 That is cool. 0.98

00:25:18.000 Yes, it was three days ago. 0.98

00:25:20.000 Is he really going to do that bare knuckle boxer?

00:25:21.000 Sure is.

00:25:22.000 Sure is.

00:25:23.000 Yeah, and he's taking it personally.

00:25:24.000 Yeah, but man, you don't want to break your hands.

00:25:27.000 You don't want to get your face cut up.

00:25:29.000 Is he done fighting?

00:25:30.000 Like boxing boxing?

00:25:31.000 He's like 36, right?

00:25:31.000 All I know is he looked like he was in shape.

00:25:34.000 And he was giving people pointers.

00:25:37.000 I listen to him a lot on Showtime and stuff.

00:25:40.000 He's cerebral as hell.

00:25:42.000 I mean, he knows the game, man.

00:25:43.000 He's a very smart guy.

00:25:44.000 Wow.

00:25:44.000 He doesn't get hit a lot.

00:25:45.000 No.

00:25:46.000 No.

00:25:46.000 Yeah, and you think about a boxer that can talk as well as he can, as articulate as he is.

00:25:52.000 If you watch the way he fights, watch his fights with Adrian Broner.

00:25:56.000 He knew how to figure out the puzzle that's Broner's hand speed and power punching.

00:26:02.000 He punches in volume.

00:26:03.000 He's always in great shape.

00:26:04.000 He was showing me patterns, just basic things. 0.99

00:26:07.000 I was like, damn! 0.96

00:26:08.000 I really wanted to see the actual sparring match between him and Conor because all the UFC released is Conor cracking him. 0.98

00:26:14.000 I know.

00:26:14.000 It's a long one.

00:26:15.000 It had to be.

00:26:17.000 There had to be some fun moments in that.

00:26:20.000 Also, I think apparently Pauly got off a plane and then he wasn't even working out that much.

00:26:27.000 He thought he was going to train with them.

00:26:29.000 Yeah.

00:26:29.000 We're going six rounds or something.

00:26:31.000 He was filming.

00:26:32.000 What?

00:26:33.000 They film it.

00:26:34.000 Yeah.

00:26:35.000 And then they use it as a promo.

00:26:37.000 Right.

00:26:37.000 Look, people are ruthless, bro.

00:26:39.000 The idea that they weren't going to use that is more ridiculous. 0.99

00:26:42.000 Come on, who are you? 0.99

00:26:44.000 You don't understand how this business works?

00:26:46.000 But he's a Brooklyn kid.

00:26:47.000 They're promoting a fight.

00:26:49.000 He's a Brooklyn kid.

00:26:50.000 He's a smart guy.

00:26:51.000 Listen, they're promoting a fight that is going to generate hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue.

00:26:56.000 You think that they're going to spare your sensibilities?

00:27:00.000 They're going to spare your feelings and not show edited versions of you getting popped up?

00:27:06.000 But my problem is, so I have a problem with that all across the board.

00:27:10.000 Because I feel like when common decency, fair play, you know, a contract, sort of a contract you enter, I'm coming out to help you out.

00:27:21.000 And then what you're going to do is use me. 1.00

00:27:23.000 Go fuck yourself. 1.00

00:27:25.000 I believe you paid him. 1.00

00:27:26.000 I understand it's a business.

00:27:28.000 I believe they paid him.

00:27:30.000 I'm sure they did.

00:27:31.000 I believe he signed paperwork over.

00:27:32.000 I'm sure they did, but that's a sneaky move. 1.00

00:27:35.000 Fuck yeah, it's sneaky. 1.00

00:27:37.000 And I have a problem with it. 1.00

00:27:38.000 Fuck yeah, it's sneaky. 0.99

00:27:39.000 In general, I just don't like justifying anything because it's going to be good promotion. 0.99

00:27:43.000 I'm always uneasy.

00:27:44.000 You know how people say, hey man, bad press, but you're talking about him. 1.00

00:27:49.000 Yeah, but fuck off. 1.00

00:27:51.000 I completely agree with you. 1.00

00:27:52.000 However, to play devil's advocate, if I'm Mr. Businessman, Mr. Moneybags, that shit just went in one ear and out the other. 1.00

00:27:59.000 I don't know what you're talking about. 1.00

00:28:00.000 That's a video of some shit that actually happened. 0.99

00:28:02.000 You hate the truth. 0.99

00:28:03.000 Because if you hate the truth, I can understand why you wouldn't want to show him that video.

00:28:07.000 But Conor did drop him.

00:28:08.000 He did hit him with the left hand.

00:28:09.000 And it's going to be a great fight.

00:28:10.000 Conor McGregor versus Floyd Mayweather.

00:28:12.000 And ironically, might have been good...

00:28:15.000 For Paulie, in terms of it creating this fight with Art, it creates...

00:28:20.000 You're talking about him.

00:28:21.000 Although I think Paulie Malignaggi stands on his own, not only as a boxer, but as an announcer.

00:28:26.000 Yeah, I mean, he's got a real name.

00:28:28.000 And he's an excellent boxer.

00:28:30.000 He's probably one of the better commentators in the game, if not the best.

00:28:33.000 He's very, very good.

00:28:34.000 100%.

00:28:34.000 Him and Andre Ward.

00:28:35.000 Andre Ward's probably my favorite.

00:28:37.000 And Roy Jones Jr. Roy Jones Jr. is outstanding at it, too.

00:28:39.000 Yeah, he is.

00:28:40.000 Andre Ward.

00:28:41.000 He's a brilliant guy.

00:28:43.000 Brilliant guy.

00:28:44.000 Brilliant guy.

00:28:44.000 Just watching him, like, figure out Kovalev, too.

00:28:47.000 Right, especially in the second fight.

00:28:49.000 Unbelievable.

00:28:49.000 Yeah.

00:28:50.000 And the fact that, you know, he dropped Kovalev with a body shot.

00:28:54.000 And, you know, Kovalev said they didn't give him a chance, that they just stopped the fight.

00:28:59.000 But it didn't look like he wanted to keep going.

00:29:01.000 I felt like that way with Amir Khan.

00:29:02.000 Like, people are like, listen, Amir Khan has nothing to prove.

00:29:07.000 He has an amazing record.

00:29:08.000 He's fighting a genius...

00:29:11.000 In Crawford, and probably, and there's no shame in this, he was supposed to fight Kell Brooks, and he kind of went, you know what?

00:29:21.000 This guy is, time is on his side, and he's kind of figured this out.

00:29:26.000 He's bigger, and he's going to kidnap. 0.96

00:29:28.000 He's going to hit me and maybe hurt me here. 0.87

00:29:31.000 I don't feel like doing this anymore.

00:29:33.000 If that was the case, I'd forgive him for everything.

00:29:35.000 I thought it was a smart decision.

00:29:37.000 Maybe he was really hurt.

00:29:38.000 He's a warrior.

00:29:39.000 I'm not saying he's not, but...

00:29:41.000 The Kell Brook fight would have actually got Amircon more money.

00:29:45.000 Yeah, he wanted to test himself.

00:29:46.000 And he decided to take the fight against Crawford.

00:29:48.000 He's a real fighter.

00:29:48.000 If Crawford's not the best pound-for-pound fighter on earth, he's number two.

00:29:52.000 He's one or two.

00:29:53.000 I want to see him with Earl Spence.

00:29:54.000 Well, Earl Spence is fantastic too, but I think the argument of pound-for-pound is Lomachenko and him.

00:30:01.000 That's the argument.

00:30:02.000 Those two guys are number one.

00:30:04.000 Yeah.

00:30:05.000 Who do you think is number one?

00:30:06.000 I mean, I think...

00:30:07.000 Are you talking about Earl Spence or are you talking about Crawford?

00:30:09.000 Crawford.

00:30:09.000 Crawford and Lomachenko.

00:30:11.000 I don't think Crawford's fought enough competition.

00:30:15.000 Like, when he fights Earl Spence, I think that Lomachenko has probably had more fights than you can really get into this conversation.

00:30:25.000 But he hasn't.

00:30:26.000 He has less fights.

00:30:27.000 But he's had less fights.

00:30:28.000 Has he had less fights?

00:30:28.000 He won the world title with like four fights.

00:30:32.000 Yeah.

00:30:32.000 How many fights?

00:30:33.000 It was something ridiculous like that. 0.75

00:30:35.000 I mean, he fought a world-class fighter his first time out. 0.92

00:30:38.000 When I saw him fight Jorge, what was that?

00:30:42.000 Amazing Mexican fighter.

00:30:43.000 Or somewhere like that.

00:30:45.000 Who was the guy he fought?

00:30:47.000 Pull up his record here.

00:30:47.000 He's 13-1 and Crawford's 35-0.

00:30:50.000 Yeah.

00:30:50.000 Wow.

00:30:50.000 Big difference.

00:30:51.000 But boxing's tricky that way, right?

00:30:53.000 So what's the level of competition?

00:30:55.000 Is they bring you up slowly?

00:30:56.000 Well, the difference is Lomachenko had an extensive amateur background internationally.

00:31:01.000 But so did Crawford.

00:31:02.000 Crawford had a great amateur background, too.

00:31:04.000 Look, Crawford...

00:31:04.000 The difference is Crawford's way bigger.

00:31:07.000 That's the difference.

00:31:07.000 If they were the same size, it would be really interesting to see what would happen.

00:31:10.000 But Crawford's a lot bigger than him.

00:31:13.000 He would...

00:31:13.000 I mean, it's not a good fight.

00:31:14.000 No.

00:31:15.000 It's just...

00:31:15.000 But to watch him take Rigondow and all these amazing fighters...

00:31:19.000 Rigondio.

00:31:20.000 Rigondio.

00:31:20.000 Rigondeau?

00:31:21.000 I thought it was Rigondeau.

00:31:22.000 I don't think so.

00:31:23.000 Rigondeau.

00:31:23.000 The way he's pronounced it in French is Rigondeau.

00:31:27.000 Rigondeau.

00:31:28.000 Rigondeau.

00:31:29.000 But yeah, he dismantles people.

00:31:31.000 His footwork is unparalleled.

00:31:33.000 But Terence Crawford, man, first of all, he's probably the best switch hitter ever next to Marvin Hagler.

00:31:39.000 He might be better.

00:31:40.000 I mean, it's hard to say.

00:31:42.000 How do you game plan for that?

00:31:43.000 He fights so good orthodox and then so good southpaw.

00:31:47.000 But to watch Linares, that's who Jorge Linares I think is, a sick fighter.

00:31:52.000 And to watch him, he knocked Lomachenko down.

00:31:54.000 But then, again, this guy figures you out.

00:31:57.000 He goes, I know what you're doing now.

00:31:59.000 And then you're done.

00:32:00.000 Well, so does Crawford.

00:32:01.000 That was Anderson Silva in his prime, too.

00:32:04.000 He would just figure out your timing.

00:32:05.000 Figure out what you do, how you enter, where the gaps are, where the holes are.

00:32:09.000 Okay, I see the key to the castle.

00:32:11.000 Let's rock. 0.99

00:32:12.000 And then somewhere around the end of the first round, Anderson would start switching stances on you and fucking doing some Bruce Lee moves. 0.98

00:32:18.000 And the next thing you know, he's got his foot in your face. 0.98

00:32:20.000 He just figures you out.

00:32:22.000 These guys are just the really elite of the elite fighters.

00:32:26.000 They're just the best at solving the little riddle that is what your skills are.

00:32:31.000 Now, how do you solve the riddle that is Khabib Nurmagomed? 0.94

00:32:34.000 That's a different riddle.

00:32:36.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:32:36.000 Because that motherfucker's not on the outside boxing you. 1.00

00:32:40.000 Conor for a while, you know he's going to take you down. 0.99

00:32:45.000 But what it looked like, Conor for a while was isolating.

00:32:48.000 He had two hands on that wrist.

00:32:50.000 He was stopping him for a long time from closing his hands.

00:32:55.000 And that seemed kind of effective for a while.

00:32:58.000 Yeah.

00:32:59.000 I mean, good luck.

00:33:00.000 It's a long road.

00:33:01.000 That's like saying, you're running a marathon.

00:33:05.000 Hey, you know, he beat me in the marathon, but for the first hundred yards, I was way ahead.

00:33:10.000 I know.

00:33:10.000 That's what it's like saying.

00:33:11.000 It doesn't matter.

00:33:12.000 Because it doesn't matter.

00:33:12.000 It doesn't matter.

00:33:13.000 But this is a five-round fight.

00:33:14.000 Like, okay, you're keeping me from grabbing my hands for now.

00:33:16.000 Are your hands tired yet?

00:33:18.000 Yeah.

00:33:18.000 How are your forearms?

00:33:18.000 No, I'm going to take you down.

00:33:20.000 I'm taking you down.

00:33:20.000 He's just going to keep going.

00:33:21.000 He's going to take you down.

00:33:22.000 That guy's so relentless.

00:33:24.000 And the skill level and the endurance level he has to pursue that pace for five rounds.

00:33:31.000 I don't think I even appreciate it.

00:33:33.000 I mean, I can intellectualize it and I can describe it.

00:33:36.000 But I think when you're in there with him, like when he fought Edson Barboza and he had Edson Barboza up against the cage, Come on, buddy.

00:33:43.000 It's mine.

00:33:44.000 Give up.

00:33:44.000 Edson has this...

00:33:45.000 No, that was against Michael Johnson.

00:33:46.000 Edson has this thousand-yard stare where he's getting mauled.

00:33:50.000 It's just like...

00:33:51.000 He's breathing. 1.00

00:33:52.000 He's like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:33:54.000 This is a different kind of human being. 1.00

00:33:57.000 Those Russians are... 1.00

00:33:58.000 That's a different kind of human being.

00:34:00.000 The Tagestanis? 0.82

00:34:01.000 They grow up fighting?

00:34:02.000 Tommy's a baby! 0.82

00:34:04.000 He's a savage! 0.99

00:34:05.000 Well, that culture. 0.97

00:34:06.000 They suffered a great deal.

00:34:08.000 That's the look.

00:34:08.000 He's like, Jesus Christ.

00:34:10.000 What the fuck did I sign up for? 1.00

00:34:13.000 Just getting mauled. 1.00

00:34:15.000 And I love Khabib.

00:34:16.000 Looks like his legs, his body looks like, you know, a guy you see at the pool.

00:34:19.000 Kind of works out maybe a little.

00:34:22.000 He looks pretty fit. 1.00

00:34:23.000 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. 0.99

00:34:25.000 No, that guy looks fit. 0.99

00:34:27.000 Barboza's really muscular.

00:34:28.000 Khabib's jacked, man.

00:34:29.000 Not really.

00:34:30.000 He just isn't.

00:34:30.000 Show a photo of Khabib making a most muscular pose or something.

00:34:35.000 He's fucking pretty jacked. 0.99

00:34:37.000 He's just not, though. 1.00

00:34:38.000 He's just a freak.

00:34:39.000 No, not compared to a lot of dudes.

00:34:41.000 Yeah, go down there. 0.93

00:34:42.000 Look at that.

00:34:43.000 You know, because he's...

00:34:43.000 Dude, what are you talking about?

00:34:45.000 He's jacked.

00:34:45.000 But not, you know...

00:34:46.000 He looks like a really strong grappler. 0.99

00:34:49.000 He's got a full fucking eight pack. 0.99

00:34:50.000 We know he is, but really... 1.00

00:34:52.000 Look at him like... 0.99

00:34:54.000 Shut your mouth. 0.99

00:34:54.000 Hey, it looks pretty good there. 0.99

00:34:55.000 Shut your dirty, lie-spilling mouth. 1.00

00:34:59.000 He's pretty good there. 1.00

00:35:00.000 What about that one right there?

00:35:01.000 How about that one? 1.00

00:35:02.000 Cut the shit, bro. 1.00

00:35:02.000 I mean, it's not... 1.00

00:35:03.000 You look like that.

00:35:05.000 I'm on TRT. Yeah, but when you were younger, that's what you looked like?

00:35:09.000 It's basically the same.

00:35:10.000 If I was in there, you would call it steroids.

00:35:13.000 You were always like that.

00:35:14.000 Yeah, I was always like that.

00:35:16.000 You might have been more muscular, actually, when I first met you.

00:35:18.000 Yeah.

00:35:19.000 I didn't even take vitamins.

00:35:20.000 No, you were just jacked.

00:35:22.000 I remember.

00:35:22.000 First time on MADtv, you were jacked out of your mind.

00:35:25.000 And it was just because you lifted weights.

00:35:26.000 Well, that was when I was just getting into jiu-jitsu, so I really started lifting weights heavy because I was tired of getting mauled.

00:35:32.000 So I really got into lifting weights.

00:35:33.000 I was like, I am weak.

00:35:35.000 Because I'm used to striking.

00:35:36.000 Striking is so different than grappling.

00:35:38.000 So different.

00:35:39.000 In terms of the demands on your muscles and your fatigue, it's so...

00:35:42.000 And it works the other way, too.

00:35:44.000 Because I remember I hadn't done any striking at all in like a year.

00:35:48.000 I had done none.

00:35:49.000 Zero.

00:35:49.000 Just Jiu-Jitsu.

00:35:50.000 And then my friend Jamie and I started doing...

00:35:56.000 We're good to go.

00:36:13.000 Wayne McCulloch.

00:36:14.000 Shout out to the great Wayne McCulloch, my trainer who I love.

00:36:17.000 I love that guy.

00:36:18.000 He's the best.

00:36:19.000 That's one of my favorite people in the world.

00:36:21.000 Whenever I see him, all is right in the world.

00:36:23.000 He's just a humble man.

00:36:25.000 Silver medalist in the Olympics.

00:36:27.000 World champion.

00:36:28.000 And nobody asks him questions in the gym.

00:36:30.000 You have this goldmine, this guy here who beat Morales, who fought Prince Nassim to the distance, and nobody knows it.

00:36:37.000 And he never tells anybody.

00:36:39.000 And I'll see these guys hitting and I'm like, Wayne, why don't you tell them?

00:36:42.000 And he goes, they don't ask me.

00:36:43.000 I don't bother them.

00:36:44.000 He's just the most humble dude in the world. 0.99

00:36:46.000 It drives me fucking nuts. 0.94

00:36:48.000 But anyway, we'll get triathletes, people who are in really good shape. 0.99

00:36:52.000 But if you're sparring and you're afraid to get hit, you stop breathing.

00:36:56.000 And so in three minutes, in two minutes, I don't care how good a shape you're in.

00:37:00.000 The minute you get punched once, you're like...

00:37:02.000 It took me literally, it probably took me three years to get over that in a way.

00:37:07.000 Because I have no confidence as a boxer.

00:37:09.000 And I shouldn't.

00:37:10.000 Why are you getting punched in the head?

00:37:11.000 What is going on with you? 0.89

00:37:12.000 I'm not getting punched hard.

00:37:14.000 How hard?

00:37:15.000 I mean, sometimes, my buddy Chris from Boston is a giant, and he'll, by accident, sometimes, you know, you get connected and stuff, but, you know, you learn how to kind of keep your hands up.

00:37:25.000 But you're getting older.

00:37:26.000 You worried about that?

00:37:27.000 I'm insecure, bro.

00:37:28.000 But you're worried about your brain getting rattled?

00:37:31.000 I sure am.

00:37:31.000 I was a little cloudy.

00:37:32.000 I stopped for a little while.

00:37:33.000 Really?

00:37:33.000 Yeah.

00:37:34.000 So you're getting cloudy from getting hit?

00:37:35.000 I don't know. 1.00

00:37:35.000 I said to Brendan, I said, you know, he has no time for this shit. 1.00

00:37:38.000 He gets so mad at me. 1.00

00:37:40.000 He just goes, you're older.

00:37:41.000 What are you doing?

00:37:42.000 Oh, you're getting a little clay?

00:37:43.000 Yeah, that's right.

00:37:44.000 That's what happens. 1.00

00:37:44.000 So keep that shit up, man. 1.00

00:37:46.000 He storms off. 1.00

00:37:47.000 Yeah, well, he came to the realization.

00:37:50.000 He ducked it.

00:37:51.000 Yeah, he was, oh, I don't know. 0.98

00:37:53.000 He was sparring with fucking Shane Carlin and Nate Marquardt and all those guys and throwing up after his training sessions. 0.96

00:38:01.000 And he played football forever. 0.99

00:38:02.000 I'll be all right.

00:38:03.000 Yeah.

00:38:04.000 I'll be all right.

00:38:06.000 He quit, though, at the right time.

00:38:08.000 He really did.

00:38:09.000 Yes, he did.

00:38:09.000 I mean, he's fine.

00:38:10.000 Yes.

00:38:11.000 He made it out at the right time.

00:38:13.000 Yeah, I'm so invested in him like he's my brother.

00:38:15.000 So whenever he talks about CT, I'm like, no, you're okay.

00:38:19.000 Don't worry about it.

00:38:20.000 He goes, you're a doctor?

00:38:20.000 I go, you're fine.

00:38:21.000 I promise.

00:38:21.000 It's not going to happen.

00:38:22.000 I don't like to think about it.

00:38:24.000 Well, I mean, he's honest.

00:38:27.000 If he wasn't doing good, he'd tell you.

00:38:29.000 If he wasn't feeling good, he'd tell you.

00:38:31.000 That's very true.

00:38:31.000 I think everybody needs someone who they trust implicitly that can pull the cord on them and to tell them, hey man, you gotta stop getting hit.

00:38:43.000 And for young fighters, man, it is such a hard decision to make.

00:38:49.000 I've talked to several guys that have to tell their fighter, several trainers that have to tell their fighters to retire, and it's never easy.

00:38:56.000 It's never easy.

00:38:57.000 And sometimes the fighter will leave and go with a different trainer and be successful.

00:39:04.000 In this one case, the trainer was like, I wish him well.

00:39:07.000 I'm sure he can still beat guys.

00:39:09.000 That's not the problem.

00:39:11.000 The problem is he's showing some obvious signs of deterioration mentally, neurologically, the way he moves, the way he talks.

00:39:19.000 A person who cares about you is going to go, okay, we had a lot of fun.

00:39:24.000 It was a great run.

00:39:25.000 You're fine right now.

00:39:26.000 You can talk and we can treat whatever problems come up.

00:39:30.000 Apparently CBD is fantastic for that.

00:39:33.000 I've heard.

00:39:33.000 For a lot of people with brain issues and a lot of, you know, inflammation issues because of trauma.

00:39:40.000 There's a lot of stuff they do.

00:39:41.000 I don't know.

00:39:41.000 That magnetic stuff that Pat Zingano did.

00:39:43.000 Right.

00:39:43.000 They're doing down in San Diego on Soldiers where they put the electrodes to your brain.

00:39:47.000 I know a guy's doing that right now.

00:39:48.000 A SEAL guy.

00:39:49.000 Yeah.

00:39:50.000 But I don't think I've ever met a fighter who is retired who doesn't still feel like they could fight for the belt.

00:39:56.000 Yeah.

00:39:57.000 Oh, yeah.

00:39:57.000 They all want to come back.

00:39:58.000 Even Chuck Liddell, when he did Fighter and Kid, was like, I'd like to throw my hat in there against Jon Jones.

00:40:03.000 I'm a pretty good wrestler.

00:40:03.000 Like, he was already 48. Yeah.

00:40:06.000 But you never lose that.

00:40:07.000 Part of what makes you a great fighter and a killer is that sort of love of the game.

00:40:12.000 If you ask Paulie Malignaggi right now, I guarantee, I guarantee, if you're like, could you fight for a title right now?

00:40:17.000 He goes, I'd put my hat in there.

00:40:19.000 Fighters are like that.

00:40:20.000 Of course.

00:40:21.000 That's why they're...

00:40:22.000 I mean, that's why they become successful in the first place. 1.00

00:40:25.000 If you think about how you are when you first start out, even if you're like real athletic, you're fucking terrible.

00:40:30.000 You know, you're hitting the bag, your feet are off, even if you hit it hard, like you're doing something wrong, you're clumsy, you're wide open afterwards, there's something that someone who's really good will expose. 0.76

00:40:39.000 And then eventually, you learn skills, and as you learn skills, you see those holes, you tighten all those holes up, and then you become far better than you were. 0.99

00:40:47.000 But the only reason why you can do that is because you think you're a bad motherfucker from the jump. 0.99

00:40:52.000 Right. 1.00

00:40:52.000 Like you hit that bag hard and you're like, yeah, I'm gonna fuck everybody up. 1.00

00:40:55.000 And you start believing that. 0.85

00:40:56.000 And then as you get skills, you're like, Jesus, I'm glad I didn't get into a real fight with a real fighter early on.

00:41:03.000 Because that is one of the most insidious things that trainers do.

00:41:06.000 They'll throw their fighter to the wolves. 0.95

00:41:08.000 Like they'll set their fighter up with some young up-and-coming phenom who's just smashing people.

00:41:13.000 And it's hard to get them fights.

00:41:15.000 And they'll get this guy to fight them.

00:41:16.000 You know, because there's a few guys that'll just fight anybody.

00:41:18.000 Oh my God.

00:41:19.000 And they've only been doing it for like a year.

00:41:21.000 Yeah.

00:41:21.000 You're going to take that fight against him?

00:41:23.000 He's got 16-0.

00:41:24.000 Look, I'm sure the Diaz brothers, when they went into Andre Ward's camp in Oakland, they were banging.

00:41:31.000 And I'm sure from day one.

00:41:33.000 Yeah.

00:41:33.000 Because I was talking to Nate Diaz.

00:41:35.000 I was like, but you guys go light.

00:41:36.000 He goes, no, we bang.

00:41:38.000 They bang.

00:41:38.000 Yeah.

00:41:39.000 I talked to Joe Schilling about that the first time he ever met Nick.

00:41:42.000 And he's talking to Nick's friend.

00:41:44.000 Nick's like, okay, you got a cup?

00:41:46.000 You got your mouth?

00:41:46.000 And Joe said to Nick's friend, he goes, are we fighting?

00:41:49.000 He goes, yeah.

00:41:51.000 He goes, alright.

00:41:52.000 We're just fighting.

00:41:53.000 He just knew, like, this is going to be fighting. 1.00

00:41:56.000 Damn. 0.99

00:41:56.000 It's like, are we sparring or are we fighting? 0.99

00:41:58.000 Yeah.

00:41:58.000 And they wind up fighting.

00:42:00.000 I think as you get better and better at it, it probably becomes addictive.

00:42:03.000 For sure.

00:42:04.000 Because every time I go in there and I go, I'm not going to spar, but then there's somebody.

00:42:08.000 And then you say, we'll just move around.

00:42:10.000 Yeah.

00:42:10.000 But then...

00:42:11.000 Well, they're also testing each other, too, right?

00:42:13.000 Yeah.

00:42:14.000 Like, Nick is a world-class fighter.

00:42:15.000 Joe Schilling's a world champion kickboxer.

00:42:17.000 That's a whole different level.

00:42:18.000 His striking's...

00:42:20.000 Evil.

00:42:21.000 Joe Schilling has evil striking.

00:42:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:42:23.000 He fucks people up. 0.99

00:42:23.000 Just to be standing next to him, too. 0.99

00:42:25.000 He's also just big, long, and athletic.

00:42:28.000 He's just like, oh, God.

00:42:29.000 He's doing very well in MMA now.

00:42:31.000 Is he really? 0.99

00:42:31.000 He got nasty fucking ground and pound in his last fight, man. 0.99

00:42:34.000 Really? 0.99

00:42:34.000 When you get a guy that good at slashing people with elbows and punching people and you get him on top of you, their ground and pound is on another level. 0.99

00:42:44.000 Because they can generate serious power in short distances like a lot of grapplers have a hard time with.

00:42:50.000 Like, do you remember when Crow Cop got on top of Gonzaga and opened his face up with an elbow? 0.88

00:42:55.000 Yep.

00:42:55.000 It was horrific, but it was inside the guard.

00:42:58.000 Yeah.

00:42:58.000 Like, you were a real good striker a short amount of distance.

00:43:02.000 Boom! 0.99

00:43:03.000 Brendan said that's the strongest guy he's ever felt.

00:43:05.000 Crow Cop?

00:43:06.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:43:07.000 Strong motherfucker, man. 1.00

00:43:09.000 Powerful. 1.00

00:43:09.000 Those ridiculous legs. 1.00

00:43:11.000 Yep. 1.00

00:43:11.000 Those legs that belong on a fucking elefante. 1.00

00:43:15.000 Elefante. 1.00

00:43:16.000 Oh, so going back to this asteroid impact.

00:43:18.000 Oh, sorry.

00:43:19.000 There's a layer somewhere around 66 million years ago that indicates that the Earth got hit by an asteroid.

00:43:26.000 That's what I mean.

00:43:27.000 Didn't I say that?

00:43:27.000 Yeah.

00:43:28.000 The layer is high in iridium, I think, and iridium is very rare on Earth but very common in space.

00:43:36.000 And there's a bunch of other indications that that's the time that it hit.

00:43:41.000 But what they're saying in the Radiolab one is that the current state of understanding is that the dinosaurs and basically most things died within the first couple hours.

00:43:51.000 Like all the dinosaurs.

00:43:53.000 They were all dead.

00:43:54.000 And apparently their bones or their fossils are in that iridium layer a lot of times.

00:43:59.000 I don't know.

00:44:00.000 Maybe.

00:44:00.000 They find them before, too.

00:44:03.000 They just don't find any after.

00:44:04.000 They think that their blood boiled in their body.

00:44:08.000 They think it got so hot that during the few hours it got to 700, 1000 degrees, 1200 degrees.

00:44:15.000 It just got insanely hot.

00:44:16.000 Dude, we're trying to get better at stand-up and stay in shape. 0.99

00:44:19.000 Now I've got to worry about fucking... 0.99

00:44:20.000 That's a full-time job. 1.00

00:44:21.000 Raise my kids.

00:44:22.000 That's what we really should be thinking about. 0.90

00:44:25.000 Not just how bad we're fucking the Earth up, but how bad something could fuck the Earth up from the sky.

00:44:29.000 That's what we really should be paying attention to.

00:44:31.000 Instead of paying attention to so many nonsensical things that people concentrate on, there's a real chance that we could get hit in our lifetime with something that ends civilization.

00:44:41.000 That 100% can happen.

00:44:44.000 I had Graham Hancock on last week, and we were going over his new book.

00:44:48.000 This book, where is it?

00:44:50.000 Isn't it right here, Jimmy?

00:44:51.000 It's right there. 0.99

00:44:51.000 It's fucking, it's excellent. 0.99

00:44:53.000 And Graham was talking about, it's called America Before. 0.99

00:44:58.000 It's the evidence of civilizations in the Americas, in North America, particularly in the Amazon.

00:45:05.000 They think that there was millions of people living in the Amazon.

00:45:08.000 But when the European explorers came over here, they gave them smallpox and wiped out everyone. 0.53

00:45:13.000 And they came back hundreds of years later and there was nothing.

00:45:16.000 The entire civilization wiped out by diseases.

00:45:20.000 I feel like in 1492, I think when the Spanish came up through the Mississippi Delta...

00:45:27.000 The same thing.

00:45:28.000 Yeah, same thing.

00:45:29.000 Yeah.

00:45:29.000 They wiped out 90—a lot of people think that the genocide of the Native Americans was just European soldiers and people and settlers killing Native Americans, which did happen.

00:45:39.000 Yeah, but it was also influenza.

00:45:40.000 But 90% of them were killed by disease.

00:45:44.000 Yeah.

00:45:45.000 90%.

00:45:45.000 Like, the entire population— Well, they even had certain government policies where they're like, you missionaries are going out there and trying to convert them to Christianity.

00:45:54.000 You're giving them your diseases.

00:45:56.000 They knew that back then?

00:45:57.000 They knew that.

00:45:58.000 They were like, they're getting sick and they're dying of, you know, all of a sudden they were like, we're getting these colds and people are dying.

00:46:06.000 They didn't have any resistance to it. 1.00

00:46:09.000 Those dirty Europeans with their shit water chutes outside their house and all the fucking vermin running around. 1.00

00:46:15.000 That was War of the Worlds. 1.00

00:46:16.000 Remember War of the Worlds?

00:46:17.000 The movie?

00:46:18.000 How'd they die?

00:46:19.000 They weren't ready for pathogens.

00:46:21.000 That's my whole philosophy.

00:46:22.000 We all try to be tough.

00:46:24.000 One of the things about all of us as men or anybody is we hate to be vulnerable.

00:46:28.000 So, you know, I train and I stay in shape.

00:46:31.000 I eat well and I want to live forever.

00:46:34.000 I don't think there's anything such thing as...

00:46:35.000 I don't think there's...

00:46:36.000 You can be really ready for a situation, you know, in a bar, I guess, and then you get bit by a tick, or you get a flesh-eating disease, and you die.

00:46:48.000 So I don't know if there's any way to protect yourself.

00:46:52.000 Well, I mean, you can protect yourself, but you are ultimately very vulnerable.

00:46:57.000 But then what this Radiolab was freaking me out about was that there's so many of those things floating around the sky.

00:47:04.000 I mean, this is what Graham talked about in not just this book, but in previous books, that they think that something slammed into the earth somewhere in the past that ended the Ice Age, probably wiped out a giant chunk of the large megafauna on North America.

00:47:18.000 It led to the almost instantaneous extinction of so many different animals.

00:47:23.000 And so it goes.

00:47:24.000 Yeah, and so it goes.

00:47:25.000 And it can happen again.

00:47:26.000 There could be a super volcano. 0.95

00:47:27.000 There's all kinds of things like that. 1.00

00:47:28.000 All these fucking things. 0.99

00:47:29.000 It really makes you wonder. 1.00

00:47:30.000 What if an asteroid was going to hit Denver?

00:47:32.000 NASA was practicing that this week. 1.00

00:47:35.000 Damn. 1.00

00:47:35.000 Denver. 1.00

00:47:36.000 They've done this before.

00:47:37.000 They've had like a practice run using a bunch of the different...

00:47:39.000 Here's a practice run.

00:47:41.000 Get in the boat.

00:47:41.000 Go to Australia.

00:47:42.000 Exactly.

00:47:43.000 I have to go pee.

00:47:43.000 Go pee.

00:47:44.000 Just haul my thing.

00:47:45.000 You got to go to Australia.

00:47:46.000 Talk about me being in Miami.

00:47:47.000 I'll talk about you.

00:47:48.000 You're beautiful.

00:47:48.000 Yeah.

00:47:49.000 May 9th, 10th, 11th at the Improv.

00:47:51.000 Are you doing comedy there?

00:47:51.000 Yeah.

00:47:52.000 And then Orlando.

00:47:53.000 Talk about complicated...

00:47:54.000 Okay.

00:47:55.000 Promote me.

00:47:55.000 Okay.

00:47:56.000 Brian Callen is going to be in Miami at the Improv.

00:47:59.000 And talk about Orlando.

00:48:01.000 And in Orlando, if you go to bryancallen.com, it'll have all that stuff.

00:48:05.000 I just ran across this, too, on the screen, on Twitter.

00:48:08.000 What happened to that dude's head?

00:48:10.000 Yeah, man.

00:48:10.000 Oh, my God.

00:48:12.000 I had an affair with a woman, and her husband came home early, tried to escape through the window, but ended up falling on a metal beam.

00:48:17.000 Oh! 0.60

00:48:19.000 Oh my god, it went through his head.

00:48:22.000 How'd they get the beam off?

00:48:23.000 They have to saw the beam off?

00:48:25.000 Probably, yeah. 1.00

00:48:25.000 Holy shit, bro. 1.00

00:48:27.000 I just saw the picture, I was like, what the fuck is that? 1.00

00:48:30.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:48:32.000 Oh my god. 0.99

00:48:33.000 He's alive.

00:48:35.000 Yeah.

00:48:36.000 And then there's pictures of this happening in the past, too.

00:48:38.000 Jesus Christ, that guy had one eye because of it.

00:48:41.000 Oh my god, it went through his head.

00:48:43.000 Yeah, it's weird how people survive from injuries.

00:48:48.000 That's basically a lobotomy, yeah.

00:48:50.000 When they stopped doing those, we haven't really talked about it too much, but I remember looking it up.

00:48:55.000 They just would dig a hole right through your eye and scramble your brain with a piece of metal.

00:49:00.000 Ugh. 0.98

00:49:02.000 And they did that because you were just too annoying?

00:49:04.000 I don't know why. 0.78

00:49:04.000 People were crazy. 0.78

00:49:05.000 They would just do it.

00:49:06.000 They were doing them up until in the 1900s.

00:49:09.000 I don't know if it stopped in the 50s or 40s at the exact time. 0.99

00:49:12.000 What do you think they're doing now, besides circumcision, that people are going to look back on like that and go, what the fuck were they thinking? 0.71

00:49:20.000 What do you think they're doing now? 0.98

00:49:22.000 Um...

00:49:23.000 I don't know.

00:49:24.000 It's just we keep learning different strategies to fix stuff.

00:49:28.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:49:28.000 But the lobotomy is not even a strategy to fix stuff.

00:49:32.000 It's like chaos.

00:49:32.000 It worked, though, in some cases.

00:49:34.000 Did it?

00:49:34.000 It must have.

00:49:35.000 Had to have.

00:49:37.000 Well, maybe it stopped them from being super violent or something.

00:49:40.000 Controlling people would probably be enough.

00:49:42.000 Bullets.

00:49:44.000 I mean, I don't know.

00:49:46.000 Why do they give someone a lobotomy? 0.97

00:49:47.000 What's the chief reason for giving someone a lobotomy?

00:49:52.000 What would you guess?

00:49:54.000 Psychosis? 0.99

00:49:55.000 Yeah, they didn't have an answer probably for pharmaceuticals back then, so they just said, fucking scramble the brain somehow. 0.99

00:50:01.000 It's fucked up to me that your brain would still work. 0.97

00:50:03.000 It's a neurological treatment of a mental disorder that involves severing the connections between the brain's prefrontal cortex. 0.99

00:50:10.000 You made it too big.

00:50:11.000 What, lobotomy?

00:50:12.000 Yeah.

00:50:13.000 Oh, sorry, you're interviewing me.

00:50:15.000 Most of the connections to and from the prefrontal cortex and the anterior part of the frontal lobes of the brain are severed.

00:50:21.000 What did they do that for, Brian?

00:50:24.000 Because when you had a personality that was, when you were crazy, they would take out the part of your brain, I guess, that was...

00:50:32.000 Reactive.

00:50:33.000 And that gave you essentially a personality.

00:50:35.000 So when you were lobotomized, you were really kind of a normal person.

00:50:40.000 Have you ever seen the movie Frances?

00:50:42.000 They gave her a lobotomy. 1.00

00:50:44.000 Wow, look at this kid.

00:50:45.000 They lobotomized a little kid with a lot of people.

00:50:48.000 They did it to a little kid?

00:50:50.000 Yeah, horrifying.

00:50:51.000 Why'd they do it to that little kid?

00:50:53.000 They'd scramble your brain.

00:50:55.000 Terrible. 0.61

00:50:55.000 Oh my god. 0.61

00:50:56.000 If I remember right, there was one guy, he was doing up to like 70 a day or something like that.

00:51:02.000 That's like three an hour.

00:51:04.000 Yeah, that's what they would do.

00:51:05.000 All day long.

00:51:05.000 I think Le Motivy would help you, they'd say.

00:51:07.000 You know, I'm reading this guy, David Epstein.

00:51:10.000 Look at that. 1.00

00:51:12.000 Holy shit. 1.00

00:51:13.000 But there were people who, you know, they had electric shock therapy and they were crazy and they would try all these things. 0.99

00:51:20.000 Catatomic schizophrenia, she says she has.

00:51:23.000 Yeah.

00:51:23.000 Just look at her smiling 16 months later.

00:51:25.000 They would try these things.

00:51:27.000 So before and after?

00:51:28.000 Yeah.

00:51:28.000 So it worked.

00:51:30.000 The lobotomy worked.

00:51:31.000 She was just smiling everywhere.

00:51:32.000 Yeah.

00:51:33.000 But she would smile if she saw a baby get run over by a car.

00:51:35.000 She would smile if she saw a house catch on fire.

00:51:39.000 Yeah.

00:51:40.000 Jesus Christ.

00:51:40.000 I'm reading this book on the brain, sort of.

00:51:43.000 That guy David Epstein, he wrote The Sports Gene, where he found the fastest people in the world, a tiny part of Africa, the people that run the farthest, which is the highlands of Kenya.

00:51:53.000 Really fascinating book.

00:51:54.000 He's a sports illustrator writer.

00:51:56.000 And then there's a new book coming out called Range, which And it's about how when you teach a kid or when you learn a lot of different disciplines, so if you're some of the best violinists, some of the best athletes,

00:52:11.000 whatever, they didn't specialize.

00:52:15.000 It's probably a bad idea to specialize from a very early age.

00:52:19.000 The exception is, like Tiger Woods, he compares Tiger Woods and Roger Federer.

00:52:24.000 Tiger Woods was raised to be a golfer from the age of two.

00:52:28.000 His dad was already having him...

00:52:30.000 He was watching, having him watch how he swings and everything.

00:52:34.000 And Roger Federer, greatest tennis player ever, was playing into music, playing soccer, playing anything with a ball, and didn't really get into tennis, didn't really find his love of tennis until he was in his teens.

00:52:49.000 And a lot of musicians, great musicians, who are innovative...

00:52:53.000 So whether it's Duke Ellington or whatever, the great ones, who make original music, a lot of them are self-taught and a lot of them played a lot of instruments until they started to focus on that one instrument that spoke to them.

00:53:05.000 And he uses all these different examples of how generalizing and doing a lot of different things informs It essentially informs your ability to become really good at one thing when you finally decide to do that.

00:53:20.000 That's a really kind of cool book because a lot of parents are specializing.

00:53:23.000 A lot of parents are like, you're going to play baseball?

00:53:25.000 That's what we're going to play.

00:53:26.000 Camp and everything else, we're just going to practice that.

00:53:28.000 Bad idea.

00:53:29.000 Bad idea according to this.

00:53:30.000 With the exception of very few skills.

00:53:32.000 Like golf.

00:53:33.000 But everything else is you want to really expose your kid to a wide variety of things.

00:53:39.000 Because for whatever it does with all the neurons and stuff, you're able to get better at something when you're practicing another thing.

00:53:48.000 Well, that makes sense to me.

00:53:50.000 It also makes sense to me that you'd want to get your kid exposed to a lot of things to find out what they actually enjoy.

00:53:54.000 Because sometimes you enjoy something and you go, oh, but I don't enjoy it as much as this.

00:53:57.000 You find some new thing and you're like, that's even better.

00:54:00.000 I'm sure you went through things like that, right?

00:54:02.000 I did.

00:54:02.000 But a lot of parents, like a lot of, he was talking about tiger moms, they'll say, you have a choice, but you're playing the violin and you're playing the piano and you're not playing any other instrument.

00:54:09.000 We're going to get better at that. 0.99

00:54:09.000 Those people are crazy. 0.99

00:54:10.000 Yeah, well the problem is it stifles innovation. 0.89

00:54:12.000 You become really pedantic and good at following instructions, but you're not going to be very innovative.

00:54:17.000 You'll be really technically good, but it tends to. 0.99

00:54:19.000 You also want to be naughty, and you wind up doing weird shit. 0.93

00:54:23.000 Like Yo-Yo Ma, he tried a bunch of different instruments until he finally said, I'm going to play this. 0.98

00:54:27.000 Yeah, you want to be naughty.

00:54:28.000 You want to fight it.

00:54:29.000 Yeah, you want to fight mommy. 1.00

00:54:31.000 And you probably have some weird mommy porn in your bookmarks. 1.00

00:54:36.000 There's amazing amounts of stepmom porn. 1.00

00:54:39.000 Really? 0.99

00:54:39.000 It's all stepmoms. 0.99

00:54:41.000 Your father's gonna be so mad at you.

00:54:46.000 Well, mom.

00:54:47.000 Mom or a derivative of mom is, I think, the second most typed in word in a Pornhub.

00:54:54.000 What's number one?

00:54:55.000 Sister? 1.00

00:54:56.000 A lot of sister porn, too. 1.00

00:54:57.000 Youth, young, tits, something to do with young. 1.00

00:54:59.000 But mom is another thing. 1.00

00:55:02.000 Granny porn is huge in Kenya and the UK. Do you know why, they think? 0.98

00:55:08.000 Why?

00:55:08.000 Because you're raised by an older lady or an older man, your headmaster, they're in a position of authority and as you're coming to...

00:55:16.000 Well, as you're coming to and you're formulating your point of view of the world and making sense of the world, you tend to sexualize whatever's in front of you.

00:55:25.000 I guess that makes sense.

00:55:25.000 You imprint.

00:55:26.000 So, so, gilfs and, you know, that's kind of hot shit. 1.00

00:55:31.000 Yeah, grandmas, I'd like to fuck. 1.00

00:55:32.000 What kind of world we live in? 1.00

00:55:34.000 My friend's wife.

00:55:35.000 He catches her watching... 0.99

00:55:37.000 Grandma porn? 1.00

00:55:37.000 Gray old men banging gals. 1.00

00:55:42.000 She's into the gray.

00:55:43.000 She's into old dudes.

00:55:44.000 She's into old guys. 0.99

00:55:45.000 Like real old?

00:55:46.000 Like dinosaur?

00:55:47.000 Your body looks like warm cheese. 0.82

00:55:48.000 Whoa.

00:55:48.000 You understand?

00:55:49.000 Why would they like that?

00:55:50.000 I don't...

00:55:51.000 It's... 1.00

00:55:51.000 Who the fuck knows? 1.00

00:55:53.000 That is a weird thing, though, that you hear that some women like. 0.99

00:55:55.000 Like, really old guys. 1.00

00:55:56.000 You don't hear that from women. 1.00

00:55:58.000 Or from men, rather.

00:55:59.000 Yeah.

00:56:00.000 What does it say?

00:56:01.000 The world's newest photos of gilf? 0.99

00:56:04.000 I bet she was hot as fuck back in the 80s. 1.00

00:56:07.000 100%. 0.98

00:56:08.000 Yeah, what are you going to do?

00:56:09.000 Listen, man.

00:56:10.000 Old hoes, they're just hoes that got old. 1.00

00:56:13.000 Look at that one.

00:56:14.000 I had a friend from Uruguay who was super macho.

00:56:18.000 You didn't show that on the screen, did you? 1.00

00:56:21.000 You son of a bitch. 1.00

00:56:22.000 Who was that? 1.00

00:56:23.000 No, don't.

00:56:24.000 Poor lady. 1.00

00:56:26.000 His grandma with ridiculous fake boobs. 1.00

00:56:28.000 My friend, he was from Uruguay, super macho, and he didn't have a lot of money, and he was kind of a gigolo. 1.00

00:56:37.000 He was having sex with this woman. 0.99

00:56:39.000 He goes, she's old, she's very old. 0.99

00:56:41.000 I said, I go, what does she look like when she's naked? 1.00

00:56:43.000 It's a disaster.

00:56:45.000 I can't look to her.

00:56:47.000 When she goes to the bathroom, I have to look over here, because there has to be no light, because it's a disaster.

00:56:55.000 Why is he doing that?

00:56:56.000 But he goes, he goes, but you know, when she looks at me, you know, when she's, you know, she sees me, I come like this, you know, I'm young.

00:57:04.000 The eyes, her eyes, it make me hard.

00:57:10.000 I'll never forget this. 1.00

00:57:11.000 I was like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:57:14.000 Well, some people are really into people being really into them. 1.00

00:57:17.000 Yes, he just wants to be admired. 0.77

00:57:19.000 I've known some women like that who are into dating trolls. 1.00

00:57:23.000 I mean trolls because they've never had a woman like that and they're like, the fuck? 1.00

00:57:27.000 And they're just dirty. 1.00

00:57:28.000 My sister had a friend like that. 0.90

00:57:30.000 Her friend was only into guys that she knew she could do better.

00:57:34.000 Oh, it's fantastic.

00:57:35.000 She wanted them to worship her.

00:57:37.000 Well, apparently there's a psychology where a lot of men will overfeed their wives and get them super fat so that they don't step out on them. 1.00

00:57:47.000 Oh, jeez.

00:57:48.000 There's a lot of subconscious behaviors that go on. 0.99

00:57:50.000 God, why aren't people so goddamn crazy? 0.98

00:57:53.000 I don't know, trauma? 0.99

00:57:54.000 You know that Carl Jung, is it the Carl Jung fucking line that says, that which we don't work out in our subconscious, we will act out as fate in our lives. 0.96

00:58:07.000 How about that? 0.98

00:58:08.000 Because you will relive patterns.

00:58:10.000 You'll relive trauma.

00:58:11.000 You will relive these patterns.

00:58:13.000 And you'll do it on your own terms.

00:58:14.000 And you'll wonder why you keep...

00:58:16.000 Why do you keep dating the same person?

00:58:18.000 Why do you keep falling into the same problem?

00:58:20.000 Why after two years does this go bad?

00:58:22.000 What is that?

00:58:23.000 Well, there's a way to actually creatively at least sit with that and observe it and be aware of it.

00:58:30.000 That's what therapy does.

00:58:32.000 Yeah, it is.

00:58:34.000 You make the unconscious conscious that will direct your life and you will call it fate.

00:58:37.000 What a great quote.

00:58:38.000 Wow.

00:58:40.000 Until you make the unconscious conscious. 1.00

00:58:41.000 Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of fucking strings pulling on you from the back of your brain. 0.98

00:58:44.000 It will direct your life and you will call it fate. 0.98

00:58:46.000 Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness of other people.

00:58:52.000 Well, that's what Nietzsche, that's why I like Nietzsche. 0.94

00:58:55.000 Nietzsche's idea was like, look, man, you can have these false models of life, which is, a lot of times, life is a bitch, right?

00:59:02.000 And you're not going to be able to compete or you don't want it.

00:59:05.000 So what you'll do is you'll go, it's okay, meek will inherit the earth. 1.00

00:59:08.000 That's alright.

00:59:10.000 You have money, but is he happy?

00:59:12.000 Is he happy?

00:59:14.000 We make all of us do this.

00:59:15.000 We make excuses to not live our best life.

00:59:18.000 And he was like, nah, live dangerously and try to be the best you can be.

00:59:22.000 Just work your ass off. 0.97

00:59:23.000 And if you have to die, if you have to take risks and die, leave a good looking corpse. 1.00

00:59:27.000 It's the idea of turning your life into a fucking circus. 1.00

00:59:30.000 Do you think the meek will inherit the earth? 1.00

00:59:33.000 Do you think if that was a prophecy that they would be talking about technologists, they would be talking about like the people that run Twitter and Google and Facebook and the internet tech people, which is… If you think about the amount of money that Facebook has,

00:59:49.000 the amount of money that YouTube has, these enormously influential tech companies, even Amazon, right?

00:59:56.000 Yeah.

00:59:57.000 Who are they?

00:59:59.000 These are nerds.

01:00:00.000 They're nerds, but they're very aggressive nerds, and they're very thoughtful nerds, and they're very competitive nerds.

01:00:05.000 So I don't consider them the meek.

01:00:07.000 Who's the meek? 0.63

01:00:08.000 So I think the philosophy behind that...

01:00:12.000 And I think the United States also works on this premise in a sense, is the American dream.

01:00:18.000 So what keeps the masses from rising up and taking the money from people, the have-nots, from taking money from the haves?

01:00:28.000 And especially when the haves...

01:00:30.000 You know, are rather slim in number in comparison to the large portion of the population that has, say, $500 in the bank.

01:00:37.000 Well, what's great about the United States, what's always worked about the United States, the reason we don't have the French Revolution in this country, It's because the American dream is about potential.

01:00:49.000 There is a potential.

01:00:50.000 I may not have money now, but I may, and I will, because I know I will because I'm an optimist.

01:00:56.000 I will be in the 1% eventually.

01:00:59.000 I got an idea, bro.

01:01:01.000 I'm telling you, it's a great idea.

01:01:02.000 And people need that hope.

01:01:05.000 You take that hope away, you take the ability, you take the idea that there's no way I can ever...

01:01:11.000 Esteem out of my condition.

01:01:13.000 You better be careful.

01:01:15.000 So potential.

01:01:16.000 The potential to be better.

01:01:18.000 The potential to be wealthier.

01:01:19.000 Think about how all of us, a lot of us, as we get older...

01:01:23.000 Do you think that's what the meek will inherit the earth meant? 1.00

01:01:25.000 I think it's in that area.

01:01:27.000 I think it meant that people that aren't creating war was probably the people that were left over.

01:01:31.000 No, I think it's a way...

01:01:32.000 No, I think it's a way of getting people to at least live with the fact that I'm a serf.

01:01:39.000 I'm a peasant.

01:01:40.000 I have no way to esteem out of my condition, but at least I have the afterlife.

01:01:46.000 At least I know that if I live and I suffer well and I suffer quietly and I suffer with dignity, there will be a reward after this.

01:01:55.000 What is the conventional definition or the conventional meaning to that statement, the meek will inherit the earth?

01:02:01.000 How do scholars interpret that?

01:02:04.000 Well, religious.

01:02:05.000 Right, right, right.

01:02:05.000 But, I mean, how do they interpret that?

01:02:08.000 I think it's in the same vein as it's harder for a camel to pass through an eye of a needle than a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

01:02:15.000 So, you know, that famous story where Christ said, if you want to follow me to the rich guy, he said, Give up all your money and the rich guy turned, hung his head and walked away and he said, poor guy, it's so hard for the rich to give up their life of privilege.

01:02:30.000 It's very difficult.

01:02:31.000 Do you think Jesus was a real person?

01:02:34.000 Historically, I think there was probably a rabbi named Jesus of Nazareth.

01:02:38.000 That seems to be the conclusion among a lot of historians.

01:02:42.000 And he was a radical man, because he simplified Judaism.

01:02:47.000 He was simplifying Judaism to say, look...

01:02:51.000 You know, you could follow the book of Leviticus and all the rituals it takes to become a good Jew, which is, there's a certain way to quarter a calf, and there's a certain way, certain things you can't eat, and you have to bathe, and you have to do all these rituals. 0.86

01:03:04.000 And he said, way too complicated.

01:03:05.000 We're never going to spread the word this way.

01:03:07.000 He said, just make it simple.

01:03:09.000 Do what Rabbi Hillel said in the Old Testament.

01:03:12.000 Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you, and hold only one God as your God, you know, the Father, so that we're all...

01:03:19.000 The idea of a monolithic God is that there's one Father, we're all brothers and sisters.

01:03:26.000 That way, we're all of the same moral worth.

01:03:29.000 That way, I can't judge you.

01:03:31.000 That way, I don't know what you're worth.

01:03:32.000 Only God does.

01:03:33.000 I don't know.

01:03:34.000 I don't know where you have, I don't know what your value is.

01:03:36.000 You're a human being.

01:03:37.000 I can't quantify that.

01:03:38.000 I think, I think that's a beautiful thing.

01:03:41.000 I think we all benefit from that religious and that Judeo-Christian idea, whether we know it or not.

01:03:48.000 And if you want to replace that, my only issue with atheists Is if you want to try to replace that irrational idea, that irrational idea that we're all the same moral worth, because you can't prove it, mathematically or biologically, but what are you going to replace that with? 0.86

01:04:04.000 Rationality?

01:04:04.000 You want to run a society on rationality?

01:04:07.000 They can't do that?

01:04:08.000 Well, that's the most dangerous idea in the world.

01:04:11.000 What about ethics?

01:04:12.000 It's still the most dangerous idea in the world because ethics have to be predicated.

01:04:15.000 There's got to be bedrock that you can warrant.

01:04:18.000 The most dangerous idea in the world.

01:04:19.000 Well, because let me give you an example.

01:04:21.000 It's very rational, mathematically, to suggest that anybody who is mentally handicapped is draining resources from our gifted children.

01:04:31.000 And I'm telling you now, in a lot of societies throughout history...

01:04:34.000 What if we live in abundance?

01:04:35.000 There's plenty of people to take care of the people that are handicapped.

01:04:37.000 Because abundance doesn't always last, and you can't predict abundance.

01:04:40.000 And a lot of times there isn't.

01:04:40.000 But it's here right now.

01:04:41.000 Not really.

01:04:42.000 Not for a lot of people.

01:04:44.000 It's not?

01:04:44.000 Right here?

01:04:44.000 It'd be very easy to justify if you were just prayed to the God of rationality.

01:04:48.000 It'd be very easy to justify.

01:04:51.000 And people have done this in history, which is what I worry about.

01:04:54.000 Hey, let's get rid of all the people that are draining our resources, because they're hopeless anyway.

01:04:58.000 People on breathing machines, people who are severely retarded, whatever they are, severely handicapped. 0.99

01:05:04.000 They're a draining resource.

01:05:06.000 I know you love them, but listen, we need this money for over here.

01:05:09.000 You're in a hospital, you're taking money.

01:05:11.000 The very old, the very infirm… So you think we need religion to keep you from taking people off life support?

01:05:16.000 Well, I will say that I think religion, and specifically the Judeo-Christian ethic, and I include Islam in that… And by the way, I mean, Buddhism talks about the sacredness of a sentient being.

01:05:29.000 These religions are there because, and I think we benefit from it.

01:05:34.000 I think that all of us...

01:05:35.000 I think we do too.

01:05:35.000 I mean, where does our justice system is predicated?

01:05:39.000 It's predicated on the idea that all men are created equal.

01:05:41.000 We benefit from it, but there's also real problems with it.

01:05:44.000 Of course.

01:05:44.000 There's real problems with any ideology.

01:05:45.000 But be careful in what you...

01:05:46.000 But what I don't understand is why you think it can't be replaced with logic and reason.

01:05:52.000 Because logic and reason has pitfalls.

01:05:54.000 But you're assuming that logic and reason doesn't also have compassion.

01:05:59.000 So you wouldn't have compassion for the people that are mentally handicapped. 1.00

01:06:03.000 Oh, it does.

01:06:04.000 It does.

01:06:04.000 It's too fickle.

01:06:06.000 What I'm trying to say is this.

01:06:07.000 There's something very irrational and very religious about the idea that all men are created equal.

01:06:12.000 That we hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal, right?

01:06:15.000 And Yuval Harari talks about this brilliantly in his book, which is that You cannot prove mathematically or biologically that the idea that all men are created equal...

01:06:25.000 Is that sapiens or the newborn?

01:06:26.000 Yeah, sapiens.

01:06:27.000 Is real, right?

01:06:28.000 Because we're not.

01:06:30.000 Again, LeBron James, if he's standing next to me, we're not equal.

01:06:33.000 He's my chocolate avatar, right?

01:06:37.000 But, we inherently know that our humanness, our human essence...

01:06:44.000 Yeah, you're not equal physically.

01:06:45.000 He's a super athlete.

01:06:47.000 But I'm funny.

01:06:48.000 Or I have my own gifts.

01:06:49.000 Maybe he's funny too. 0.53

01:06:50.000 Wouldn't that suck? 0.97

01:06:50.000 Yeah. 0.97

01:06:51.000 What if he went on stage and murdered?

01:06:52.000 There are people...

01:06:53.000 What if he was like Eddie Murphy 2.0?

01:06:54.000 There are people that are better. 0.96

01:06:56.000 Wouldn't that suck though? 0.98

01:06:57.000 Yes. 0.96

01:06:58.000 If he was LeBron James and he was funnier than you?

01:07:00.000 Well, he's not a bad actor, I'll tell you that much.

01:07:01.000 Imagine if he was really funny.

01:07:03.000 Like, if you couldn't follow him.

01:07:05.000 That's when I give him my girl.

01:07:06.000 Can you imagine that though?

01:07:07.000 I would present him with my girl as a gift.

01:07:08.000 He's like what?

01:07:09.000 Six foot what?

01:07:10.000 Eleven?

01:07:10.000 He's six nine.

01:07:12.000 Okay, six nine.

01:07:13.000 Six foot nine.

01:07:14.000 265. Built like a god.

01:07:16.000 Faster than everybody and stronger than everybody.

01:07:18.000 Amazing.

01:07:18.000 And murders on stage at the store.

01:07:22.000 And when you eat the mic, you have to go like this to get the mic.

01:07:26.000 That's right.

01:07:26.000 Bring it down to you because you have to go on after him.

01:07:29.000 And that's when I say to him.

01:07:29.000 He's got it in the mic stand.

01:07:30.000 It's fucking seven feet in the air. 0.98

01:07:32.000 Yeah, and I go, Mr. James, I'd like to be your traveling concubine. 0.99

01:07:36.000 I'm probably not your type.

01:07:37.000 Well, he doesn't want that.

01:07:38.000 I'm not your type. 1.00

01:07:39.000 No, you're useless. 1.00

01:07:40.000 I'll take culinary classes and I'll cook. 1.00

01:07:42.000 Let me cook for you. 0.99

01:07:43.000 No, he's got people that shut the fuck up that carry the bags. 1.00

01:07:45.000 I'll polish your shoes, sir. 1.00

01:07:46.000 No, you're too annoying, man.

01:07:47.000 What are you going to do? 1.00

01:07:48.000 You'll stare at his dick all day? 1.00

01:07:49.000 I just want to connect with you. 1.00

01:07:49.000 Ask him questions about what a man he is? 1.00

01:07:51.000 Yeah.

01:07:51.000 It's weird.

01:07:52.000 What do you squat?

01:07:53.000 Leave him alone.

01:07:53.000 Okay.

01:07:55.000 I'll just be in the corner.

01:07:56.000 Just write better jokes. 0.84

01:07:59.000 Sir, I'd like to be a gimp. 0.54

01:08:00.000 That would be so embarrassing.

01:08:03.000 Like if a guy was that good at basketball, but then was like a natural at comedy.

01:08:10.000 He started murdering in comedy.

01:08:13.000 Or like a fighter. 0.99

01:08:15.000 Like what if Terrence Crawford turned out to be the funniest fucking dude in the world? 0.99

01:08:19.000 Imagine. 0.99

01:08:21.000 And he not just fucks people up in the ring, but then Terrence Crawford starts doing sets at the Comedy Store and murdering. 0.74

01:08:27.000 And then he's got a Netflix special and he's murdering. 0.72

01:08:30.000 And you're like, no!

01:08:32.000 How can we go so good at these things?

01:08:34.000 I don't know, man.

01:08:36.000 Yeah.

01:08:36.000 But listen, there are people that are better at everything sometimes.

01:08:39.000 I mean, there are.

01:08:40.000 Well, there's definitely...

01:08:41.000 Look, Elon Musk is a good example of that. 0.99

01:08:43.000 How many fucking things can that guy do at once? 0.96

01:08:46.000 But at the same time, what I'm saying is that you can't quantify a human being because you don't know what their potential is and you don't know where they're strong. 0.99

01:08:53.000 Listen, stop.

01:08:54.000 If LeBron James murders on stage, he's better than you.

01:08:58.000 He's not following me.

01:08:59.000 He's better than you at everything. 1.00

01:09:00.000 Fuck off. 1.00

01:09:00.000 If he murders... 1.00

01:09:01.000 Following you.

01:09:01.000 You gotta follow him.

01:09:03.000 He's gonna murder, and then the king has left the building.

01:09:06.000 He's gonna drop the mic and walk away.

01:09:08.000 Yeah, it'd be a problem.

01:09:09.000 And then you gotta go on after him.

01:09:10.000 But you can't be that good at two things, right?

01:09:13.000 I mean...

01:09:14.000 Wow!

01:09:14.000 Who says?

01:09:15.000 Well, I mean, to be really good...

01:09:16.000 What if he decides...

01:09:17.000 How much do you put into it?

01:09:18.000 You can be really good at two things, but I think like three times is my whole life.

01:09:22.000 Listen to me.

01:09:23.000 What if he puts the kind of effort that he puts into getting good at basketball into getting good at stand-up?

01:09:26.000 Different muscle.

01:09:28.000 Yeah.

01:09:28.000 One muscle's lazy.

01:09:30.000 One muscle doesn't really write and work.

01:09:32.000 For the amount of hours that we work on our craft versus the amount a basketball player has to practice.

01:09:37.000 It's different.

01:09:38.000 Oh, he's murdering!

01:09:39.000 This is Blake Griffin.

01:09:40.000 He's been trying to do stand-up in the off-season the last couple years.

01:09:43.000 More when he was living in L.A. He got traded to Detroit now, so it's a little bit harder for him probably, but he's been doing good.

01:09:49.000 He's good?

01:09:50.000 Yeah, I mean, from what I've heard from people that have seen it.

01:09:52.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

01:09:53.000 There you go, motherfucker. 1.00

01:09:56.000 He's 6'10". 1.00

01:09:57.000 Doesn't matter.

01:09:58.000 Stand-up doesn't care. 0.99

01:09:58.000 It's a long road. 0.99

01:09:59.000 I'll see you in 10 years.

01:10:00.000 It can work, though.

01:10:02.000 If he does it, what I'm saying is, you take a guy who has the kind of Discipline and work ethic that an athlete does at the highest level of the game.

01:10:12.000 Yeah.

01:10:12.000 And apply that to stand-up comedy.

01:10:14.000 I bet they'll get further than a lot of us.

01:10:16.000 He's only 30. Ah!

01:10:18.000 Only 30. Maybe.

01:10:19.000 What are you going to do? 0.55

01:10:20.000 Blake Griffin's going to murder in front of you one night.

01:10:22.000 Nah, it's a weird muscle.

01:10:23.000 Stand-up's a weird muscle.

01:10:24.000 Joey Diaz isn't exactly... 0.99

01:10:25.000 Joey Diaz is high by noon, but he's funny as fuck. 0.99

01:10:29.000 He's high way before noon. 0.98

01:10:31.000 Yeah, comedy's a weird thing.

01:10:33.000 Comedy is a very... 0.99

01:10:34.000 There are some fuck-ups that kill you. 0.99

01:10:36.000 Joey Diaz might get high all the time. 1.00

01:10:38.000 That motherfucker works on his act. 1.00

01:10:40.000 Joey works on his act. 1.00

01:10:41.000 It's a mindset.

01:10:42.000 You're always writing.

01:10:43.000 Joey Diaz is a pro.

01:10:45.000 People see Joey and they see that he smokes a lot of weed and he's crazy and they assume that he just gets up there and just rants and raves.

01:10:54.000 No, no, no.

01:10:54.000 That guy always has new material.

01:10:56.000 Always.

01:10:56.000 Always working.

01:10:57.000 Always working on something.

01:10:58.000 Yep.

01:10:59.000 Yeah, he's...

01:10:59.000 I think that's what it takes, too.

01:11:01.000 I think that this kid was younger, and he told me he hadn't written a joke in two years. 0.99

01:11:07.000 And I went, well, you're talking like a loser. 0.97

01:11:10.000 You know, you can't... 0.96

01:11:12.000 I think stand-up is relentless, especially if you develop a following.

01:11:15.000 Yeah, but if that's where he's at, he's probably depressed.

01:11:17.000 There's something probably wrong with him.

01:11:18.000 Well, we talked about that, too.

01:11:19.000 Is there?

01:11:19.000 Yeah.

01:11:20.000 Yeah, there you go.

01:11:21.000 But I'm saying that, you know, again, you know, depression is a very real thing.

01:11:25.000 But I always say to kind of younger people who seem like they're in a rut, that's why I'm a huge believer in just take the steps of getting better at one type of language.

01:11:36.000 Start.

01:11:37.000 It doesn't matter if it's the guitar.

01:11:38.000 It doesn't matter.

01:11:39.000 Just get better at one little thing.

01:11:41.000 Just start practicing.

01:11:42.000 It'll motivate you to do other things.

01:11:43.000 I'm not saying depression.

01:11:44.000 Clinical depression is a very real thing.

01:11:46.000 I don't know enough about it.

01:11:47.000 Well, the thing is, it is real, but it's different with every person.

01:11:50.000 It's one of the rarest of diseases in that you really can't put it on a scale.

01:11:56.000 It's a spectrum. 1.00

01:11:57.000 You feel like shit or you don't feel like shit. 1.00

01:11:59.000 You're depressed or you're not depressed. 1.00

01:12:01.000 But what level depressed are you?

01:12:03.000 Are you suicidal? 0.99

01:12:04.000 Are you just kind of shitty? 1.00

01:12:05.000 Could you fix it with running? 1.00

01:12:07.000 Or do you need real chemical intervention?

01:12:10.000 Do you know the difference?

01:12:12.000 What's your community like?

01:12:14.000 What are your friendships like?

01:12:16.000 What is your family like?

01:12:17.000 Huge questions.

01:12:18.000 Huge questions.

01:12:19.000 And by the way, how are you eating?

01:12:20.000 How are you exercising?

01:12:21.000 What is your community like?

01:12:23.000 These are things in people who live the longest in those societies.

01:12:26.000 What is it, Spain?

01:12:27.000 I heard, and I don't know if I'm right, has the longest per capita lived people right now, and yet huge alcohol and tobacco consumption.

01:12:35.000 But they are connected to community.

01:12:37.000 They're connected.

01:12:38.000 And they do a lot of that.

01:12:39.000 They're getting it in, bro.

01:12:41.000 Taking siestas, long lunches.

01:12:43.000 Banging.

01:12:43.000 Yes.

01:12:44.000 Banging it out.

01:12:45.000 Yes.

01:12:45.000 And drinking red wine.

01:12:47.000 Woo! 0.99

01:12:48.000 Yeah.

01:12:48.000 Why not?

01:12:49.000 Enjoying their lunch.

01:12:50.000 And dancing salsa. 0.70

01:12:51.000 Dancing salsa.

01:12:53.000 I bet that helps, too.

01:12:55.000 What is this?

01:12:55.000 Spain to lead Japan in global life expectancy.

01:12:57.000 See, there you go.

01:12:58.000 U.S. continues to slide.

01:12:59.000 There you go. 0.98

01:13:00.000 Yeah, because we're eating shitty food and we're getting fat. 0.87

01:13:02.000 We're also isolated.

01:13:03.000 There's a price you pay for, as a capitalist, as somebody who believes in the free market, there's a price you pay for praying to the god of consumption and progress.

01:13:14.000 There is.

01:13:18.000 We're ruthlessly competitive Americans. 0.99

01:13:20.000 Americans are fucking ruthlessly competitive and insanely aggressive. 1.00

01:13:25.000 Football is a game of war. 1.00

01:13:27.000 It's simulated war.

01:13:29.000 You're capturing territory and everything else.

01:13:34.000 We are so aggressive that way.

01:13:36.000 And look, it makes us a great country.

01:13:37.000 We also pay a price for it.

01:13:39.000 No question about it.

01:13:48.000 There is this idea that where the left, a lot of the left says, look man, this capitalism stuff that seems to be creating isolation and depression, like how is it going?

01:13:57.000 Is there a conversation to be had about how we figure out, how we structure our lives where our community takes more of a precedence, where job security takes more of a precedence, all these things.

01:14:09.000 The minute I start hearing socialism, I start to freak out, but I'm just saying.

01:14:11.000 I know what you're saying.

01:14:12.000 But here's the thing about socialism.

01:14:15.000 Socialism in general sounds like a terrible idea because a lot of people are lazy and because it de-incentivizes people from action and there's a certain thing that people should have motivation to succeed.

01:14:25.000 They should have some drive and they get some satisfaction out of achieving goals and those are all things that I would not want to deny any young person from.

01:14:32.000 I think those are really important things for happiness and one of the things that they've studied when they've studied happiness in people People that are goal-oriented and they set goals and achieve those goals, it's one of the best markers for happiness.

01:14:45.000 And it doesn't necessarily mean money.

01:14:49.000 The problem is we like to think of it as money.

01:14:52.000 It's a money thing.

01:14:53.000 But in athletics, in art, without finance attached to it at all, when people set out to do something and then do it, they achieve a sense of self-worth and happiness.

01:15:03.000 Yes.

01:15:04.000 And understanding.

01:15:05.000 And understanding of yourself, of who you are.

01:15:07.000 This is what's missing from a lot of people.

01:15:08.000 And again, I'm not a clinical psychologist.

01:15:11.000 I don't really understand depression.

01:15:13.000 I don't suffer from it.

01:15:14.000 But I've known enough people that have to know that there's a lot of different kinds of it.

01:15:21.000 It's all different. 0.99

01:15:22.000 And I think some people just have a broken brain.

01:15:24.000 There's something wrong in there, and it would be nice if there was a chemical that could fit into that slot and fix it.

01:15:30.000 And sometimes there is for those people.

01:15:31.000 And sometimes it changes their lives. 0.97

01:15:34.000 And then I've known people that were on the wrong medical, like Ari was on Propecian and was fucking with him. 0.97

01:15:39.000 It gave him depression. 0.83

01:15:41.000 And sometimes people, they'll change their diet.

01:15:44.000 And one of the things that Rhonda Patrick was, she posted something, I think it was on her Twitter account, how inflammation led to impulsive decision-making, led to cheating on your diet, led to poor decisions in terms of overall lifestyle,

01:16:01.000 just from having higher levels of inflammation.

01:16:04.000 So eating shitty food, not getting enough sleep, drinking, all those things lead Isn't that amazing?

01:16:30.000 Yeah, I pull back with all this stuff and I always think to myself, like, I think what you and I are after, like, the reason I'm happy and the reason I feel so fulfilled is I'm able to express myself fully.

01:16:46.000 Like, fully.

01:16:47.000 Like, I told you the other day, like, certain developments in my life, like, I was like, I... I want radical honesty in the sense that I don't have to lie about anything.

01:16:56.000 I don't want to lie about anything.

01:16:57.000 I want to be very honest.

01:16:58.000 You and I have always been so honest with each other, right?

01:17:02.000 Well, that's why we know each other so well. 0.99

01:17:05.000 Yes, and the minute we start fucking bullshitting, you're like, oh, what? 0.98

01:17:09.000 But that's why you have your friends that hold you accountable because they know exactly who you are and it's very important. 0.99

01:17:15.000 So what that allows you to do is to express yourself fully and And completely.

01:17:23.000 Original self-expression is my whole, my credo, my idea.

01:17:27.000 But so, if eating well, if eating well, see, I don't want my body to get in the way.

01:17:32.000 I don't want it to get in the way.

01:17:33.000 So I investigate how to feel optimal so that I can just not have it get in the way and I can do the things I love.

01:17:40.000 Yeah.

01:17:41.000 That is a form of expressing myself fully.

01:17:44.000 I always wanted a box.

01:17:45.000 It was such a mystery to me. 0.99

01:17:47.000 And I'm nervous today because I've got to go spar some fucking guy. 0.97

01:17:50.000 How long have you been doing it now? 0.99

01:17:50.000 How many years? 0.99

01:17:51.000 Almost five years now.

01:17:52.000 But I don't care about...

01:17:54.000 I'm not going to enter...

01:17:55.000 Wayne wants me to fight.

01:17:57.000 He wants you to fight?

01:17:58.000 Yeah, but I'm not going to do that.

01:18:00.000 I don't want to be an actor who takes a fight.

01:18:02.000 It's hilarious to me.

01:18:03.000 Why is Wayne doing that to you?

01:18:04.000 Because he's a fighter and he's a maniac.

01:18:06.000 Man, you've got to get in there and lace up the gloves at least one time.

01:18:09.000 You could fight.

01:18:10.000 You can fight.

01:18:11.000 Come on, throw the old left, right, left. 0.93

01:18:14.000 Yeah.

01:18:14.000 And then I put on headgear and he just puts in a mouthpiece and he gives me a beating.

01:18:19.000 He just starts popping you.

01:18:19.000 Yeah.

01:18:20.000 He puts his gloves wherever he wants.

01:18:21.000 Woo! 0.99

01:18:22.000 Which is annoying.

01:18:23.000 But my point is that I feel like I'm expressing myself in that vein.

01:18:27.000 I always wanted to do it.

01:18:28.000 How are your shoulders?

01:18:29.000 They're like ripe pomegranates.

01:18:31.000 Really?

01:18:31.000 You're okay?

01:18:31.000 I have a beautiful body.

01:18:32.000 It doesn't bother you at all?

01:18:33.000 Boxing doesn't injure you.

01:18:34.000 It's jiu-jitsu and crossfit. 1.00

01:18:36.000 That shit'll... 1.00

01:18:37.000 If you're not careful... 1.00

01:18:38.000 Yeah.

01:18:39.000 I'm old now.

01:18:40.000 I warm up.

01:18:41.000 Boxing can definitely still injure you.

01:18:42.000 Do you warm up with bands?

01:18:44.000 What do you do?

01:18:45.000 You know what I do?

01:18:49.000 I have my whole dynamic stretching routine I do in the morning.

01:18:52.000 When I walk in the gym, I lace them up and I just start moving very slowly.

01:18:57.000 I warm my body up.

01:18:58.000 I start hitting the mitts really lightly and as I go, I hit more and more.

01:19:03.000 I'm a meathead.

01:19:04.000 I see those mitts and I want to smash. 0.95

01:19:07.000 That's what happens. 0.89

01:19:08.000 That's what happens.

01:19:09.000 Then your back is all bunched up.

01:19:10.000 People have to tell me.

01:19:11.000 They have to tell me.

01:19:12.000 Don't.

01:19:13.000 Start slow.

01:19:14.000 It's warm up.

01:19:15.000 Warm up.

01:19:15.000 You gonna sneeze?

01:19:16.000 Jesus!

01:19:16.000 You okay?

01:19:17.000 Yeah, all that cocaine.

01:19:18.000 Wow.

01:19:18.000 You doing coke now?

01:19:19.000 Yeah, but just a little, bro.

01:19:20.000 Oh.

01:19:20.000 Just a little.

01:19:21.000 Just to take the edge off.

01:19:21.000 I heard it's good for you if you do a little.

01:19:23.000 If you take the edge off.

01:19:24.000 Nobody did. 0.99

01:19:25.000 And nobody ever did a bunch of cocaine and shit got better. 1.00

01:19:28.000 Well, I wonder if people chewed a bunch of coca leaves and shit got better. 1.00

01:19:31.000 Microdosing coke? 0.99

01:19:32.000 I haven't heard anybody try that.

01:19:33.000 No, I don't think so.

01:19:34.000 The problem is you crash.

01:19:36.000 You do blow and you want to start a business with your friend. 1.00

01:19:38.000 All these fucking plants. 1.00

01:19:39.000 You microdose psilocybin because there's no real crash. 1.00

01:19:43.000 I mean, there's a weird feeling after a mushroom trip, but there's no devastating crash that I hear people report after cocaine.

01:19:50.000 Cocaine, apparently, on the comedown, you're just wrecked.

01:19:54.000 Yeah.

01:19:54.000 That's one of the...

01:19:55.000 The rollercoaster ride, like a lot of people, they do the cocaine, and then they have the crash, the dopamine level smash, and then they only feel good if they're doing cocaine again, because their body's so fucked up.

01:20:05.000 That's why you lose your house, like in three years.

01:20:07.000 A buddy of mine had that, and our other friend worked in a rehab center and was trying to explain it to us, what was wrong.

01:20:15.000 Yeah.

01:20:16.000 It's no joke.

01:20:17.000 It was sad. 1.00

01:20:18.000 Sad shit. 0.99

01:20:19.000 I had somebody describe, he emailed me and he described what we were talking about. 1.00

01:20:23.000 My friend, Michael McDonald's best friend committed suicide.

01:20:27.000 And he was on the podcast talking about it and he got emotional. 1.00

01:20:30.000 It was heavy shit. 0.99

01:20:32.000 And somebody I know who comes to my shows emailed me and I guess he suffers from serious depression. 0.99

01:20:39.000 And you know he described the So we always say, well, how could they commit suicide?

01:20:45.000 They had children.

01:20:46.000 I mean, what happened?

01:20:47.000 It makes no sense.

01:20:48.000 He said, for me, it's like being in a sauna.

01:20:53.000 And you know how you get too hot? 0.99

01:20:55.000 You get so hot you have to get the fuck out because you're too hot. 0.98

01:20:58.000 And he said, only there's nowhere to go. 0.99

01:21:00.000 You don't have an exit.

01:21:02.000 You know, I was in the sauna yesterday and I've been in the sauna lately at higher temperatures because Gabrielle Reese She was on the podcast and she was saying her husband, you know, Laird Hamilton, that badass surfer dude, he cranks his sauna up to 225 degrees.

01:21:17.000 And when people like, he's like, who's been fucking up my sauna? 0.91

01:21:21.000 Like it's lower than 225. I'm like, Jesus Christ, she's telling me this. 0.73

01:21:25.000 I'm like, 225? 1.00

01:21:27.000 Fuck! 1.00

01:21:28.000 Such a badass. 1.00

01:21:29.000 So, I put this on up to 200 yesterday, and I was thinking, now, while I'm lying there, I'm like, what if this was the world forever?

01:21:37.000 Like, it was 200 degrees from now on forever.

01:21:40.000 The world's 200 degrees.

01:21:41.000 Like, how happy would you be with your children?

01:21:43.000 Could you still laugh?

01:21:44.000 I was thinking, like, I can withstand that.

01:21:47.000 I withstand it for 20 minutes.

01:21:49.000 That's what I do, right?

01:21:50.000 But what would I do if that was, like, that feeling of hot, if it didn't kill you, That feeling of 200 degrees out, would you be willing to live through that?

01:21:59.000 Like, how much would it sadden your life?

01:22:01.000 Yeah.

01:22:01.000 How much would it weigh on you?

01:22:02.000 Yeah.

01:22:03.000 A lot.

01:22:04.000 Of course.

01:22:05.000 What I'm trying to say is, move out of Phoenix, Arizona, folks.

01:22:08.000 That's so oppressively hot.

01:22:09.000 It's not worth it in the summer.

01:22:11.000 Oh my God.

01:22:11.000 Get yourself a Colorado mountain home in the summer.

01:22:14.000 I was just up in Boulder.

01:22:16.000 Boulder needs to be a little more aggressive.

01:22:18.000 I was just in Boulder.

01:22:19.000 I see a grown man in the middle of the day with a beard balancing on a handrail. 0.98

01:22:25.000 I'm like, you're an able-bodied man and it's Friday at fucking 2. Go to work right now. 0.98

01:22:31.000 There's another dude just sitting cross-legged with a small little flute.

01:22:34.000 You know the flute you played in elementary school?

01:22:37.000 Just so unaggressive.

01:22:38.000 Boulder's paradise, though.

01:22:39.000 Ah, whatever.

01:22:41.000 They had a sale on clogs.

01:22:42.000 So there's a few hippies, bro.

01:22:45.000 It just makes me aggressive.

01:22:46.000 But what percentage of those people are there?

01:22:48.000 If there's 100,000 people, is there 10 that are annoying?

01:22:51.000 I'm judging the whole place, okay.

01:22:52.000 Is there 10 people that are playing the flute?

01:22:54.000 That's fine.

01:22:55.000 There's nothing about wealthy white people that put caffeine and comfortable footwear at the top of their essentials.

01:23:03.000 Yeah, comfortable footwear.

01:23:04.000 What's wrong with you?

01:23:05.000 I don't know, man.

01:23:06.000 You want your feet to hurt? 1.00

01:23:07.000 Yeah, put a leather sole on your fucking foot and go to work. 1.00

01:23:11.000 A leather sole. 1.00

01:23:12.000 And have your toes pinched.

01:23:13.000 A hard wooden heel as well.

01:23:15.000 Yeah, there you go.

01:23:15.000 I like that.

01:23:17.000 And have your toes pinch a little bit, you fuck. 1.00

01:23:19.000 A little bit. 1.00

01:23:19.000 And wear some wool. 1.00

01:23:20.000 What's that called when you get bunions?

01:23:22.000 Get one of them things?

01:23:23.000 Whatever. 1.00

01:23:25.000 Go manufacture shit. 1.00

01:23:27.000 Drink your black coffee. 1.00

01:23:28.000 But don't you think it's nice to have a community like that where they're just all about yoga and Sat Nam?

01:23:32.000 Sure, I guess. 0.95

01:23:33.000 It's comfortable until the zombie apocalypse hits and then I'm not fucking relying on them. 0.98

01:23:37.000 You don't want to live. 0.98

01:23:37.000 You don't want to live through the zombie apocalypse. 0.98

01:23:39.000 Why?

01:23:41.000 You don't.

01:23:41.000 Boulder is impossibly relaxing.

01:23:44.000 When I watch The Walking Dead, which I don't anymore, but when I used to watch it all the time before they just annoyed me to the point where I couldn't take it anymore, I was always like, I don't want to do this.

01:23:55.000 Why would you want to do this?

01:23:57.000 Survival.

01:23:57.000 I mean, people commit suicide now.

01:23:59.000 Guys like...

01:24:00.000 That are doing well.

01:24:02.000 Their life is great.

01:24:03.000 And they have loved ones.

01:24:05.000 And they commit suicide.

01:24:06.000 You're telling me that people are just going to live through this nonsense?

01:24:08.000 Jamie, bring up Dresden before and after the war.

01:24:12.000 Take a look at that.

01:24:13.000 They say the middle of Dresden was as hot as the sun.

01:24:16.000 Jesus Christ.

01:24:16.000 Speaking of 200 degrees.

01:24:18.000 Because of when the Allies bombed it.

01:24:19.000 But just take a look at what it looked like before and after. 1.00

01:24:24.000 We're so lucky we don't have to tolerate that kind of shit right now. 0.99

01:24:28.000 I remember who was the guy who wrote, oh God, Where the Monsters Are or Where the... 0.99

01:24:34.000 I wrote a children's book.

01:24:36.000 Was it called Where the Monsters Are?

01:24:38.000 I don't know.

01:24:39.000 And he was in the war and he said, do you believe in God?

01:24:41.000 And he just casually said, no, no, the war took care of that for me.

01:24:45.000 I never forgot it. 1.00

01:24:46.000 I was like, fuck. 1.00

01:24:48.000 He just died five years ago. 1.00

01:24:51.000 I had Eddie Izzard on yesterday and we were talking about wars of aggression.

01:24:55.000 Most likely we've seen the end of wars of aggression.

01:24:58.000 People trying to conquer new territory.

01:25:01.000 World War II was probably the last one of those. 0.79

01:25:03.000 Look at that, man.

01:25:04.000 That's insane.

01:25:04.000 So that was Dresden.

01:25:05.000 Dresden looked like the surface of the moon.

01:25:07.000 Jesus Christ.

01:25:08.000 When they were really done with it.

01:25:09.000 Oh my God.

01:25:10.000 Yeah.

01:25:12.000 Oh my God.

01:25:13.000 That lady got barbecued. 1.00

01:25:16.000 That's horrific.

01:25:17.000 Those are all bodies, man.

01:25:18.000 Jesus Christ.

01:25:21.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

01:25:22.000 Stop scrolling.

01:25:23.000 Look at that. 1.00

01:25:23.000 What the fuck, man? 1.00

01:25:25.000 Yeah, that's what war did. 1.00

01:25:27.000 That's what World War II. It was the true destruction of old Europe. 0.94

01:25:30.000 Imagine what it would look like, too, to watch those bombs hit.

01:25:33.000 And just level everything like that?

01:25:35.000 Well, it was carpet bombing. 0.54

01:25:36.000 So civilians, you know, the objective was actually to kill the German worker, to really bring that country to its knees. 0.75

01:25:44.000 It was back when total devastation of the enemy was essentially a tactic.

01:25:50.000 It was a horrible, horrible thing.

01:25:53.000 Wow.

01:25:54.000 Yeah.

01:25:55.000 These images are so stunning.

01:25:57.000 Okay, this is afterwards.

01:25:58.000 Yet human beings rebuild, yet they prevail.

01:26:01.000 Yeah.

01:26:02.000 And, you know, a few decades later.

01:26:04.000 It's okay.

01:26:06.000 But what we were talking about yesterday was that we most likely have seen the end of these wars of conquest where people are trying to take over new territories.

01:26:14.000 Right.

01:26:15.000 This territory is no longer a commodity.

01:26:17.000 Now it's services, it's ideas, it's technologies, it's Land in that sense.

01:26:23.000 Yeah, but I mean the concept was that we're moving in a better direction and that things are becoming less and less at least overtly aggressive.

01:26:31.000 More people are able to see what's really going on, too.

01:26:34.000 Yeah, and more people can communicate.

01:26:35.000 I mean, this is really the only generation ever, like these last two or three generations, where you're able to easily translate anything that anyone's saying in any other country.

01:26:46.000 Like, how often do you go, like, I'll read, like, Khabib Nurmagomedov's Instagram page, and it's in Russian, you know, and I'll translate it, and so I can read what he's saying.

01:26:55.000 And I do that with a lot of his other fighters, too.

01:26:56.000 I just hit the translate button.

01:26:58.000 Yeah.

01:26:58.000 How dope is that?

01:26:59.000 It brings you closer to them.

01:27:00.000 Yeah.

01:27:00.000 Well, dude, you get to know them.

01:27:02.000 Yes. 0.93

01:27:03.000 And you see that they're pretty fucking similar, even though they're different. 0.97

01:27:08.000 They're into family and their worship and their food and their community. 0.96

01:27:12.000 They laugh.

01:27:13.000 They laugh.

01:27:15.000 Humorous insults with each other.

01:27:16.000 If you live there, you'd be in that style of living, too. 1.00

01:27:19.000 And it's a hard place to live, so you've got to be a tough motherfucker. 1.00

01:27:22.000 That's right. 0.99

01:27:23.000 But there's something predictable, too, about how to live.

01:27:27.000 There's certain norms and practices.

01:27:30.000 Do you think that with Russia being run by Putin, that seems to me to be the last big country that might invade somebody?

01:27:41.000 Yeah.

01:27:42.000 Like, Russia being run by Putin.

01:27:43.000 You could almost see him pulling a Crimea somewhere else in the world. 0.96

01:27:47.000 You could almost see him...

01:27:49.000 I think Russia, and I think the history of Russia, I have not been there.

01:27:54.000 I was there when I was very young.

01:27:56.000 But I've not been there since.

01:27:58.000 And I have people who have gone there, and they actually really enjoy it.

01:28:01.000 And it's, you know, just great people.

01:28:04.000 Like, great people.

01:28:04.000 The Russian people who suffered maybe more than anybody in the 20th century.

01:28:10.000 But...

01:28:10.000 Great people and industrious and everything else, but I do think that...

01:28:15.000 They're run by a gangster.

01:28:17.000 Well, but it's not just that they're run by a gangster, yes, but I think that sometimes the way a populist thinks about certain things can inform their destiny,

01:28:32.000 right?

01:28:32.000 Yeah.

01:28:34.000 So think about this.

01:28:35.000 If you were always invaded, and you had a flat topography, and tanks could roll in, German tanks, whatever it is, and you paid such a price for that.

01:28:44.000 Again, I told you, when I went there in 1985, you didn't see any old men.

01:28:49.000 They were all killed.

01:28:50.000 But aggression, male aggression, was what kept those Nazis at bay when they surrounded Leningrad, now St. Petersburg, and stuff like that.

01:28:59.000 There's a lot of stories in it.

01:29:01.000 And I think that when you've been traumatized to the extent that Rush has been traumatized, certain strengths, the ability to stand up against aggression and to be brave and powerful, that becomes the commodity.

01:29:19.000 That's the guy that gets all the money, all the women, all the whatever. 0.53

01:29:24.000 And I think that's a product of their history.

01:29:26.000 So Putin is an admired man.

01:29:29.000 I bet you if Putin had very fair elections, he would get elected into power.

01:29:33.000 He's respected.

01:29:34.000 Are you trying to say he doesn't have fair elections?

01:29:36.000 Yeah, well.

01:29:37.000 Is that what you're saying?

01:29:38.000 My larger point is this.

01:29:39.000 Are you on record?

01:29:39.000 I'm not saying that, sir.

01:29:41.000 I don't know anything about Russian elections, but I will say this.

01:29:44.000 I don't know why you're putting words in my mouth.

01:29:46.000 Why are those guys in the door?

01:29:47.000 What the hell's going on?

01:29:47.000 He would get elected anyway.

01:29:49.000 I think so.

01:29:49.000 Just because people love him.

01:29:51.000 What if he allowed open criticism of him?

01:29:54.000 Well, there is open criticism, believe it or not. 0.92

01:29:56.000 Sure, the guys would get shot.

01:29:57.000 They were openly criticizing him and they get shot.

01:30:01.000 There is a press that actually is critical.

01:30:05.000 Right, right, right.

01:30:06.000 But you know they've killed journalists.

01:30:08.000 Yes, it's not a threat to his power.

01:30:09.000 Well, how many journalists have been murdered?

01:30:12.000 I don't know, but enough. 0.99

01:30:13.000 Poisoned and all kinds of weird shit. 1.00

01:30:15.000 Google, journalist critical of Putin murdered. 1.00

01:30:18.000 Also, his supporters will beat the shit out of you. 0.99

01:30:20.000 Yeah, for sure. 0.99

01:30:21.000 So, what I'm saying is that I think Russia's... 0.99

01:30:24.000 What are you saying?

01:30:25.000 I think Russia needs to embrace the softer strengths.

01:30:30.000 Are you a foreign policy advisor now?

01:30:31.000 Yes, I am.

01:30:32.000 No, this is a philosophy I have.

01:30:34.000 This is my philosophy.

01:30:35.000 Ready?

01:30:36.000 Okay.

01:30:36.000 So my philosophy is this.

01:30:37.000 This country is a great country and our culture is an interesting culture.

01:30:40.000 Why?

01:30:41.000 Why? 1.00

01:30:41.000 Because not only are we representative of hard strengths, the military, the NFL, the fucking UFC, all that shit. 1.00

01:30:49.000 The what? 0.99

01:30:50.000 Eagles.

01:30:50.000 And Eagles.

01:30:51.000 Fucking bald eagle, bro. 1.00

01:30:52.000 You're right. 1.00

01:30:53.000 You're right.

01:30:53.000 It's a classic.

01:30:54.000 Canada's fucking national anthem is the beaver. 1.00

01:30:56.000 Well, Russia's a bear. 1.00

01:30:58.000 Okay. 0.52

01:30:59.000 Okay.

01:30:59.000 But so Americans, again, are very aggressive.

01:31:01.000 But you know what America's secret is?

01:31:02.000 We've also provided safe quarter to our gentler spirits.

01:31:05.000 What is this?

01:31:07.000 Violent deaths of journalists started in the Yeltsin era.

01:31:10.000 Okay, so they've just been doing that forever.

01:31:13.000 Yes.

01:31:13.000 So there's just like, presidents just do that in Russia.

01:31:17.000 Always have.

01:31:18.000 Murder, Crossfire, Terrorist Act.

01:31:21.000 In 2008, there were six of those.

01:31:24.000 Murder Only, there was another six.

01:31:26.000 Listen.

01:31:27.000 Two of them were brought to trial.

01:31:28.000 Look at me right now.

01:31:29.000 Putin is Gandhi.

01:31:31.000 Putin is Gandhi compared to Khrushchev.

01:31:33.000 Gandhi compared to Stalin.

01:31:35.000 Gandhi compared to Lenin.

01:31:36.000 Gandhi compared to anybody who was in power before him.

01:31:39.000 Those guys used to kill wholesale Khrushchev.

01:31:43.000 I mean, and that's a fact. 0.74

01:31:44.000 Up to their elbows and blood.

01:31:46.000 Who was that guy that got murdered recently that was running?

01:31:48.000 It was a political opponent.

01:31:50.000 They shot that dude down.

01:31:52.000 When his death was not related to the journalist's work, the conviction rate exceeds 90%.

01:31:57.000 What?

01:31:58.000 They put him in jail, too. 1.00

01:31:59.000 If they don't just kill him. 0.99

01:32:01.000 What is that quote, though?

01:32:02.000 When the death was not related to the journalist's work, so you're talking about rates of conviction.

01:32:09.000 Oh, okay.

01:32:09.000 That was a weird quote.

01:32:11.000 Oh, rates of conviction are very high.

01:32:13.000 Yeah, of course.

01:32:13.000 So the guy with the biggest gun in that society holds all the power.

01:32:16.000 They do that in this country, too, though.

01:32:18.000 Espionage, those kind of trials.

01:32:19.000 Yeah.

01:32:20.000 You're going straight to the pokey, son.

01:32:21.000 Do not pass.

01:32:22.000 Go.

01:32:22.000 Good luck with your trial.

01:32:23.000 That's true.

01:32:24.000 The judge is like, yeah, I listened to you.

01:32:26.000 20 years. 1.00

01:32:27.000 Fuck off. 1.00

01:32:28.000 But an aggressive part of the world, the United States, like Russia, however... 1.00

01:32:33.000 We're smarter.

01:32:34.000 No.

01:32:34.000 We're better looking.

01:32:35.000 No.

01:32:36.000 We're funnier.

01:32:37.000 We protect our...

01:32:39.000 Hey, hey, hey.

01:32:39.000 Funnier.

01:32:39.000 Why are we funnier?

01:32:40.000 Because we're better.

01:32:41.000 That's too general, sir.

01:32:43.000 Because we have LeBron James at the Comedy Store on Saturday night.

01:32:44.000 Sir, you're being too general.

01:32:45.000 Sir, you're being too general.

01:32:46.000 This is a quiz.

01:32:48.000 Why?

01:32:49.000 Because we're free.

01:32:50.000 Because we have protections for the people on the fringes, our creatives, our weirdos, our fashionistas, all the people that make our culture interesting.

01:33:02.000 Stephen Jobs, he wasn't good at CrossFit.

01:33:05.000 No, he's good at yelling at employees.

01:33:06.000 Yeah, either was Mohandas K. Gandhi and Martin Luther King, but at least there was due recourse.

01:33:12.000 At least we know that there are softer strengths that have to be protected.

01:33:17.000 It makes you more interesting, and it makes you more creative and stronger.

01:33:21.000 You gotta be innovative. 0.97

01:33:22.000 Your innovators are weirdos.

01:33:24.000 Yes. 0.99

01:33:24.000 Like Leonardo da Vinci apparently was gay. 0.99

01:33:27.000 What? 0.90

01:33:27.000 Uh-huh, I said it. 0.90

01:33:28.000 Outrageous.

01:33:28.000 Yeah.

01:33:29.000 Wait a minute.

01:33:30.000 Guess what?

01:33:30.000 What?

01:33:31.000 There are a lot of very smart... 0.98

01:33:33.000 In Russia, if you're gay, it's not that safe for you. 0.98

01:33:36.000 Right, you get tossed off a building. 1.00

01:33:37.000 Yeah, so what you do is when you do that with people who are creative and you marginalize a group of people because they're different in the name of purity or whatever, you're fucked. 0.99

01:33:45.000 Didn't they make some really weird public statement about homosexuality, like the law in Russia? 0.99

01:33:50.000 Is homosexuality illegal in Russia? 0.83

01:33:52.000 Well, a lot of times they're equated with pedophiles.

01:33:54.000 The LGB community has real trouble there.

01:33:56.000 And it's hard to get apartments.

01:33:58.000 It's more subtle.

01:34:00.000 It's hard to just live and make a living.

01:34:03.000 So what happens is all those creative people who could be contributing and coming up with beautiful ideas, they're marginalized as perverts, deviants. 1.00

01:34:13.000 And that's the dumbest... 1.00

01:34:15.000 The meek don't get to inherit the earth. 1.00

01:34:17.000 The meek, a lot of times, are the people that provide you your fucking goodies. 1.00

01:34:20.000 Russian gay propaganda law. 0.99

01:34:22.000 For the purpose of protecting children from information advocating for a denial of traditional family values.

01:34:28.000 Whoa.

01:34:29.000 The gay propaganda law and the anti-gay law, the bill that was unanimously approved by the state Duma on 11th of June, 2013. Holy shit, man. 1.00

01:34:40.000 So you want to protect children from exposure to, you know, home activity. 1.00

01:34:44.000 Yeah.

01:34:45.000 Yeah, and it was signed into law by President Vladimir Putin on the 30th of June 2013. How long is he going to be president?

01:34:52.000 So let me ask you a better question.

01:34:54.000 So with those kind of laws, those kind of laws that marginalize anybody that's not normal, quote-unquote, that's not traditional, prototypical male-female, awesome.

01:35:05.000 When was the last time you bought, and I'll wait, when was the last time you bought one Russian product, please, besides the fact that they're essentially a one-crop economy, which is oil, and I guess some other commodities?

01:35:14.000 What happens is you kill all your creativity.

01:35:17.000 What happens is you are not a strong country.

01:35:19.000 Your weaponry isn't even good. 1.00

01:35:20.000 That's the irony of all this shit. 1.00

01:35:22.000 When you have that mindset and you have one idea of what strength is, you're going to be fucking weak and you're not going to be creative. 1.00

01:35:28.000 Is a Kalashnikov a good rifle? 0.98

01:35:30.000 It's a very good rifle. 1.00

01:35:31.000 It makes some good shit. 1.00

01:35:32.000 Designed in 1957, I believe. 0.99

01:35:34.000 What does it say?

01:35:35.000 2012, previously holding the position from 2000 to 2008. So he's been, right now, he's on seven years in office.

01:35:43.000 He's a zar, sir. 1.00

01:35:44.000 He's been longer than that.

01:35:46.000 Yeah, but I mean seven now, currently.

01:35:48.000 And then he did it eight years before.

01:35:51.000 Yeah, but he didn't even take four years off. 1.00

01:35:53.000 When he took four years off, he was like running shit from behind. 1.00

01:35:56.000 He's got to look like I'll kill you. 1.00

01:35:58.000 Like he's like, I will kill you. 1.00

01:35:59.000 Yeah, it's a black belt in judo, right? 1.00

01:36:01.000 Definitely kill you. 1.00

01:36:03.000 Yeah, legit black belt in judo. 1.00

01:36:04.000 Like he can actually throw people around. 1.00

01:36:06.000 Probably smart as fuck. 1.00

01:36:07.000 And in his mind... 1.00

01:36:10.000 You know, Putin is running a country that requires a strongman.

01:36:14.000 Yeah.

01:36:14.000 It's who they respect.

01:36:16.000 Right.

01:36:16.000 So he's caught in that, too.

01:36:18.000 Even if he agreed with what I'm saying.

01:36:19.000 Let's say you're the king of the world.

01:36:20.000 How do you fix Russia? 0.61

01:36:23.000 You present an idea, the idea I just presented, which is the idea that you might want to protect the people that you consider to be queers, deviants, and weirdos, nerds, or whatever they are, because those people a lot of times are your creatives. 0.54

01:36:41.000 I don't know why, but they are.

01:36:42.000 So do you think they lived in too much of a wartime culture for too long?

01:36:48.000 I do.

01:36:48.000 And that they developed this hardness to them that that's why they're lacking in the creativity and the innovation?

01:36:54.000 I don't think they can afford that.

01:36:55.000 And I think that a lot of times when you've been traumatized, you're dealing still with the residue and the trauma of World War I and World War II. And that's very real.

01:37:05.000 And also, by the way, communism and having nothing.

01:37:10.000 And, you know, they have strong communities.

01:37:12.000 I mean, my friend went to Russia and said everybody was nice to him. 0.98

01:37:15.000 Fucking, they're good people. 0.98

01:37:17.000 And they're innovative people and they're creative. 0.99

01:37:19.000 Look at how good they are at boxing.

01:37:20.000 Anything the Russians put their mind to, that they hold value for, like strengths, like MMA, like boxing, look at how good they are.

01:37:29.000 So they're incredibly industrious, disciplined, smart people.

01:37:33.000 Is it hard to get weed over there?

01:37:34.000 I'm sorry?

01:37:35.000 How do you get weed over there?

01:37:35.000 I don't know.

01:37:36.000 I bet you don't.

01:37:37.000 I bet if you have money, you get everything you want.

01:37:39.000 Right, if you got money.

01:37:40.000 Yeah, if you're connected to the oligarchy.

01:37:42.000 Do you think Putin's ever tried DMT? I think he's too measured for that.

01:37:48.000 Well, I think he would want to know, you know?

01:37:50.000 Maybe. 1.00

01:37:51.000 I bet he's done a lot of shit. 1.00

01:37:52.000 He does whatever he wants. 1.00

01:37:54.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:37:55.000 He's bizarre.

01:37:56.000 How many chicks do you think he's got in a stable? 1.00

01:37:59.000 Well, I will tell you this.

01:38:01.000 I truly believe this.

01:38:02.000 I think that he can just sit there and he has women flock to him.

01:38:08.000 Oh, for sure.

01:38:09.000 They love him.

01:38:10.000 For sure.

01:38:11.000 The best looking woman in the world.

01:38:12.000 He doesn't have to do anything.

01:38:13.000 Right.

01:38:13.000 For sure.

01:38:13.000 That kind of power.

01:38:14.000 My wife was like, he's hot.

01:38:18.000 Whoa. 0.99

01:38:18.000 I go, but he's a gangster. 0.99

01:38:20.000 She goes, who doesn't like a gangster?

01:38:22.000 And I was like, oh, geez, I had to walk away.

01:38:24.000 I was like.

01:38:25.000 Whoa, it's uncomfortable.

01:38:26.000 Steal your girl. 1.00

01:38:26.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:38:27.000 You take a girl. 0.99

01:38:28.000 Yeah.

01:38:28.000 Steal your football ring.

01:38:29.000 You hear about that?

01:38:30.000 No.

01:38:31.000 The story about... 0.99

01:38:32.000 Fucking Sturgill told me about this. 0.98

01:38:35.000 He... 0.99

01:38:35.000 Who was the football player where Putin stole his ring? 0.99

01:38:40.000 Google that.

01:38:41.000 It's the owner of the Patriots.

01:38:43.000 Was it him?

01:38:43.000 It wasn't a player?

01:38:44.000 It was just the owner of the Patriots?

01:38:45.000 Is that the guy that...

01:38:46.000 Kraft?

01:38:47.000 That guy?

01:38:47.000 Okay.

01:38:48.000 So he had this Super Bowl ring on.

01:38:50.000 He meets Putin.

01:38:51.000 Putin says, can I hold the ring?

01:38:53.000 And then he takes the ring off, puts it on, and he's like, hmm.

01:38:55.000 And he said something like, you could smash someone's face with this ring, and laughed, and then just walked off with the ring.

01:39:00.000 And they were like, hey, where's the ring?

01:39:03.000 He's like, no.

01:39:04.000 He just stole the ring.

01:39:05.000 There it is.

01:39:06.000 You know, Harvey Keitel, really?

01:39:08.000 He just took his ring.

01:39:08.000 What?

01:39:09.000 My ring, no.

01:39:10.000 That's awesome.

01:39:11.000 This, my ring, I take.

01:39:13.000 So he just decided he wanted it and took it off the guy's hand and was laughing and walked off with it.

01:39:18.000 As the story goes, Kraft handed the diamond-studded ring to Putin as a bit of show-and-tell.

01:39:22.000 I could kill someone this ring, Putin reportedly said, as he fit it to his finger.

01:39:27.000 Then when Kraft held his hand to get it back, Putin, surrounded by KGB agents, wordlessly slipped the ring into his pocket. 0.83

01:39:34.000 Wow.

01:39:36.000 There you go.

01:39:58.000 Okay.

01:40:01.000 I want to love.

01:40:02.000 I love it.

01:40:03.000 I take this.

01:40:04.000 This marino.

01:40:06.000 I do have an admiration.

01:40:08.000 I just think...

01:40:09.000 Do you think he's ever killed anybody with a ring?

01:40:11.000 I bet he has.

01:40:12.000 Probably.

01:40:13.000 He was a KGB guy for a long time. 0.89

01:40:15.000 I bet he's beaten people to death.

01:40:16.000 George W. Bush administration had pressured him at the time to let go of the ring to avoid an international incident.

01:40:22.000 That's hilarious.

01:40:22.000 Wow.

01:40:23.000 In 2013, Kraft reneged and offered some backstory about the incident, alleging that the Bush administration had pressured him at the time to let go of the ring.

01:40:33.000 It would really be in the best interest of U.S.-Soviet relations if you meant to give the ring as a present, Kraft recalls the White House saying.

01:40:41.000 I really didn't want to.

01:40:42.000 I had an emotional tie to the ring.

01:40:43.000 It has my name on it, Kraft said.

01:40:46.000 I didn't want to see it on eBay.

01:40:47.000 But maybe Putin mistook.

01:40:49.000 You know, there's a language barrier, so he probably misunderstood.

01:40:52.000 Listen to what he's saying.

01:40:53.000 No, he didn't. 1.00

01:40:54.000 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

01:40:55.000 What are you, Russian propaganda agent? 1.00

01:40:57.000 There was a pause at the other end of the line, and the White House voice repeated, It would really be in the best interest if you meant to give the ring as a present. 0.94

01:41:04.000 Are you calling Putin a thief, bro?

01:41:06.000 No, I'm saying he took that ring.

01:41:08.000 He took that ring.

01:41:10.000 He punked that dude and took his ring. 0.99

01:41:12.000 That's not a thief. 0.98

01:41:13.000 He's a gangster.

01:41:15.000 Yeah.

01:41:15.000 He's out there punking rings.

01:41:17.000 Harvey Keitel.

01:41:18.000 He had 124 diamonds.

01:41:20.000 The great Harvey Keitel told me a story.

01:41:23.000 I think it was him.

01:41:24.000 And he said, you know, remember Nikita? 0.99

01:41:27.000 No, what's that fucking movie? 0.99

01:41:30.000 La Femme Nikita? 1.00

01:41:31.000 La Femme Nikita.

01:41:31.000 Remember the actress in the TV show?

01:41:33.000 Yes.

01:41:34.000 I met her once.

01:41:35.000 She was friends with my friend Candy Alexander.

01:41:37.000 So she went to Russia with her boyfriend.

01:41:41.000 Putin liked her.

01:41:42.000 He used to watch the show all the time.

01:41:44.000 I heard this from, I think it was Harvey Keitel.

01:41:49.000 He kept that dude out into another room and had her out on the balcony talking to her the whole time. 0.98

01:41:57.000 And basically, the guy couldn't get back in.

01:42:00.000 It was very clear that Putin was making a play for La Femme Nikita.

01:42:05.000 And it's like, you're in my town now.

01:42:07.000 You go over there.

01:42:08.000 Take a seat.

01:42:09.000 I know you came here.

01:42:10.000 Take a seat.

01:42:11.000 I'm going to take what's mine.

01:42:13.000 And apparently she was gone.

01:42:14.000 I don't think she did anything, obviously, but, you know.

01:42:16.000 Let's pretend she did.

01:42:17.000 Right.

01:42:18.000 There it is.

01:42:19.000 And he dug her.

01:42:20.000 Where's Jack Nichols?

01:42:22.000 Boyfriend ain't around, bro.

01:42:23.000 Boyfriend's not around.

01:42:25.000 He's not there.

01:42:25.000 Where's the boyfriend, bro?

01:42:26.000 He's not allowed to be at the table.

01:42:27.000 He's like, yes, you have legs for days.

01:42:29.000 He was apparently locked out.

01:42:30.000 He was trying to get in the room, and they're like, sorry, we didn't know.

01:42:33.000 Well...

01:42:34.000 It's kind of interesting when you see a guy running a country like that in 2019, that he can run the country in that gangster fashion.

01:42:43.000 It's more interesting that he got people to...

01:42:45.000 Oh, Sean Penn?

01:42:47.000 Yeah.

01:42:47.000 It's more interesting to me that he's gotten himself in a position where people would actually vote for him.

01:42:52.000 So technically he's been democratically elected. 0.98

01:42:55.000 Yeah, I bet at a certain point in time, they don't know who the fuck should be running things over there. 0.98

01:43:00.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:43:01.000 Brian Callen, I've got to end this.

01:43:02.000 I've got to end early today.

01:43:03.000 My friend, always great to talk.

01:43:05.000 Always a good time.

01:43:05.000 Come see me in Miami.

01:43:07.000 May 9, 10, 11. Orlando, did you...

01:43:11.000 Did you talk about my dates?

01:43:13.000 Yes, you're in Miami Improv.

01:43:14.000 May 7th, 8th, and 9th, correct?

01:43:15.000 No, no.

01:43:16.000 10, 11, and 12?

01:43:18.000 9, 10, 11. God damn it. 0.99

01:43:19.000 9, 10, 11? 1.00

01:43:19.000 Yeah, now you ruined everything. 1.00

01:43:21.000 No, no, no.

01:43:22.000 They're listening still.

01:43:23.000 May 9, 10, 11. Orlando.

01:43:26.000 May 17, 18. Oh, I got some dates, too, that I just started selling.

01:43:30.000 They just went on sale.

01:43:31.000 I am going to be in... 0.99

01:43:33.000 Where the fuck am I? August 10th. 0.99

01:43:36.000 I'm in San Francisco.

01:43:39.000 I'm in Mountain View.

01:43:41.000 Nice.

01:43:42.000 Yes.

01:43:43.000 Mountain View at the Shoreline Amphitheater on August 10th.

01:43:46.000 August 9th, I'm in Portland, Oregon.

01:43:49.000 Woo! 0.99

01:43:50.000 Portland!

01:43:52.000 And then on the 23rd, I'm in Denver, Colorado for two shows at the Belco Theater, Sunday.

01:44:00.000 At the Belco.

01:44:01.000 Alright, kids.

01:44:01.000 I love that place.

01:44:03.000 JoeRogan.com for all my tickets.

01:44:04.000 Keep your arms heavy and your belly tight. 0.91

01:44:05.000 What does that mean?

01:44:06.000 I don't know.

01:44:06.000 It just sounds like an awesome thing.

01:44:08.000 Arms heavy?

01:44:08.000 I want my arms to be light.

01:44:09.000 It's from a Billy Joel song.

01:44:10.000 Really?

01:44:11.000 Yeah, I can't remember what the song is.

01:44:12.000 Is it Piano Man?

01:44:15.000 No.

01:44:15.000 Is it Uptown Girl?

01:44:17.000 No. 1.00

01:44:18.000 Brian, you're a silly goose and I love you. 0.99

01:44:20.000 I'll see you later. 0.99

01:44:21.000 BrianCallen.com, B-R-Y. T-F-A-T-K for tickets or BrianCallen.com.

01:44:26.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - May 03, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1290 - Bryan Callen

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Transcript