The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1336 - Legion of Skanks

00:00:00.000 I rarely watch the event live.

00:00:02.000 Hello, skanks. 1.00

00:00:04.000 What's up?

00:00:05.000 Hello.

00:00:05.000 We're live.

00:00:05.000 This is sort of.

00:00:06.000 Hell yeah.

00:00:07.000 We're recorded.

00:00:09.000 Good to see you, boys.

00:00:10.000 What's up, Dougie?

00:00:11.000 Things got strange.

00:00:11.000 As soon as they said we're live, everybody's like, oh.

00:00:13.000 Oh, man, we weren't having a great conversation.

00:00:14.000 People are listening?

00:00:15.000 We're a little too high right now.

00:00:16.000 People are listening to what? 0.99

00:00:17.000 Goddamn Mike Tyson weed. 0.99

00:00:19.000 We really were just having the most natural conversation. 0.99

00:00:21.000 Everyone was going back and forth.

00:00:22.000 Nothing.

00:00:23.000 Ah!

00:00:24.000 Mike Tyson, we were talking when you went to the bathroom, Mike Tyson says he smokes $40,000 a week.

00:00:32.000 He also sells weed, so he just charges himself a lot of money.

00:00:36.000 He gets high on his own supply.

00:00:38.000 There's no way you can smoke $40,000 worth of weed.

00:00:41.000 Maybe his whole crew.

00:00:44.000 To say it's about himself, there's no way.

00:00:46.000 A month?

00:00:47.000 How much is $40,000?

00:00:48.000 I want to see what it looks like in a room.

00:00:50.000 Yeah, I'm not buying that.

00:00:52.000 It would be a pile that you could fall into and take a nap.

00:00:54.000 You could definitely take a beanbag chair.

00:00:56.000 You could fly through the air and get your back with confidence.

00:01:00.000 So how much is...

00:01:01.000 I mean, you're getting it in bulk, so it's going to be probably like $100 an ounce.

00:01:04.000 It's getting even worse.

00:01:06.000 Even less than that.

00:01:06.000 If you're going to spend $40,000, they'll give you more than $40,000 worth.

00:01:10.000 You know what I mean?

00:01:11.000 Just to be like, here, man, I don't know.

00:01:12.000 Look at what it says here.

00:01:12.000 We smoke 10 tons of weed at the ranch a month.

00:01:16.000 Oh, my God.

00:01:17.000 This is Britain said.

00:01:20.000 Eben?

00:01:20.000 Is that how you say his name?

00:01:22.000 Eben?

00:01:22.000 Eben Britain?

00:01:24.000 So 10 tons of weed is $40,000.

00:01:28.000 That doesn't seem right, does it?

00:01:29.000 None of that seems right.

00:01:30.000 That's 20,000 pounds of weed.

00:01:32.000 That's impossible.

00:01:34.000 He obviously could have easily been joking and laughing while he said this, too.

00:01:38.000 We're reading it in print, but he's like, pfft, dude, we smoke 10 tons a month.

00:01:42.000 Yeah, this is on the podcast.

00:01:43.000 It might be weed talk, that's what I'm saying.

00:01:45.000 Yeah, this sounds like something I would say.

00:01:47.000 More than you could ever possibly imagine.

00:01:51.000 Keep burning, we burn it all the time, we don't even breathe in air.

00:01:55.000 I'm gonna throw out a wild number, 40 million.

00:01:57.000 40 tons.

00:02:00.000 And they go, no, $40,000?

00:02:03.000 Someone should, some journalist should do, just make an image of this is what $40,000 worth of weed looks like.

00:02:12.000 Yeah, it's going to be more than even Mike Tyson and his crew can smoke.

00:02:16.000 Wouldn't it fill this whole room?

00:02:18.000 I think it would.

00:02:19.000 Yeah, one of those shipping crates.

00:02:22.000 Somebody already did it.

00:02:25.000 There's a graph.

00:02:26.000 Is it even possible to smoke $40,000 of weed a month?

00:02:29.000 900 eighths?

00:02:30.000 That's actually not that much.

00:02:32.000 With a crew, 900?

00:02:33.000 Think about it.

00:02:33.000 If you do...

00:02:35.000 Two grand blunts.

00:02:36.000 That's two blunts per eighth, essentially.

00:02:39.000 A little bit less.

00:02:40.000 This guy's got it broken down.

00:02:42.000 Yeah, but this guy really could just tell you how much it is in bulk.

00:02:44.000 He's giving you 900 eighths.

00:02:46.000 Seems a little bit lazy to even write.

00:02:48.000 1,800 blunts between Mike Tyson's crew is not actually that much for a month.

00:02:51.000 It's not that much.

00:02:52.000 Now when I'm looking at how this guy's saying it, he's saying it's basically four blunts per hour.

00:02:57.000 That's totally possible if you've got a large number of people with you.

00:03:00.000 I will never question Mike Tyson again.

00:03:02.000 Ever.

00:03:02.000 This is it.

00:03:03.000 Ever.

00:03:04.000 That's still not ten tons. 0.94

00:03:05.000 I think we're being silly.

00:03:07.000 I think they were joking around. 0.58

00:03:08.000 I bet a lot of it they give away, too.

00:03:10.000 You know, they might go through a personal stash of that much weed.

00:03:14.000 I didn't know he has a ranch.

00:03:16.000 Mike Tyson's in the weed game, son.

00:03:19.000 All in.

00:03:20.000 Dude, he was one of the most fascinating guys to interview.

00:03:22.000 Because I couldn't believe I was really talking to him.

00:03:24.000 Yeah.

00:03:25.000 So I can't believe that's really Mike Tyson.

00:03:27.000 Like, there's some people, like, you talk to him, like, that's really Mike Tyson?

00:03:31.000 This is crazy.

00:03:31.000 It doesn't make sense.

00:03:32.000 What he's been through in his life, yeah, you're like, and now he's here somehow? 0.99

00:03:35.000 Knowing him as a kid when he was the fucking man. 0.96

00:03:39.000 And you'd see him on the cover of these magazines, like Kid Dynamite when he was 19 years old on Sports Illustrated, and just smashing everyone in front of him. 0.99

00:03:46.000 And then all of a sudden he's hanging with you.

00:03:48.000 Yeah, it's very strange.

00:03:49.000 And it's also just a fall from grace and then a resurgence.

00:03:53.000 It's still a weird resurgence, too. 0.97

00:03:55.000 Nobody ever saw him becoming a cartoon character and a fucking Broadway actor and a one-man show and now a weed rancher. 0.97

00:04:02.000 That's bananas. 0.99

00:04:03.000 Who saw that?

00:04:04.000 Nobody said that was going to be Mike Tyson's trajectory.

00:04:06.000 I just hope he doesn't get me too'd.

00:04:08.000 The trajectory of when I found out who he was when I was a kid and started getting... 0.64

00:04:13.000 Very shortly after you saw what a monster he was was that Robin Givens interview where he just sat there like a doofus. 0.97

00:04:21.000 She was like, yeah, he beats up me and rapes my mom. 1.00

00:04:23.000 And he's like... 0.92

00:04:24.000 I can't tell me stewing and just going like, when these cameras go off, oh boy...

00:04:32.000 You better hope this interview goes on for four days.

00:04:37.000 Wasn't there some talk about them medicating him?

00:04:40.000 Wasn't that part of what was happening?

00:04:42.000 Like they were trying to sedate him?

00:04:45.000 Maybe.

00:04:45.000 I just remember him talking about it in that documentary.

00:04:47.000 In the documentary, and he said he couldn't believe she was saying it, so he was just silent.

00:04:52.000 But if you watch it, it seems like he's furious.

00:04:55.000 And just trying to not say something angry.

00:04:58.000 Of course, the key to Mike Tyson is that he always seemed like he was furious.

00:05:02.000 Yeah.

00:05:02.000 And he even talked about it once.

00:05:04.000 He goes, I'm just mad.

00:05:05.000 I'm mad at my dog.

00:05:06.000 I'm mad at everything.

00:05:09.000 And that's when he was at the top of the heat, man.

00:05:11.000 But now he's like this peaceful, friendly guy.

00:05:14.000 He had to overcompensate for all that.

00:05:16.000 That's why he needs $40,000.

00:05:18.000 It was all therapy, right?

00:05:20.000 He has to have like 20 therapists.

00:05:22.000 He beat up the first seven of them.

00:05:24.000 I mean, to be a great fighter, you have to be able to look at yourself.

00:05:28.000 You have to be able to look at your skills.

00:05:30.000 It doesn't mean you still can't make horrific mistakes, but you have to be able to look at yourself.

00:05:34.000 It's the only way you get any better.

00:05:36.000 The best fighters have an understanding, even if they have ego problems, they still have a pretty good understanding of who they are.

00:05:43.000 And that can benefit you if you use it.

00:05:47.000 I'm sure he probably went through therapy, but he didn't necessarily...

00:05:50.000 He could probably have figured it out on his own just because he's a smart guy.

00:05:54.000 He's a smart guy that grew up in a horrible, horrible way, where the first love he had was an old boxing trainer that turned him into a murderer.

00:06:02.000 That was the first love that guy experienced.

00:06:04.000 His life was horrible, man.

00:06:06.000 And from him being adopted by Custom Auto when he was a little kid, and having extreme physical gifts as well, it was this perfect storm.

00:06:15.000 Dude, they said when he was 13, he weighed 190 pounds. 0.98

00:06:19.000 Teddy Atlas used to bring him to boxing, these smoker events, and they were like, yeah, he's fucking 13. And they put him in with a 16-year-old, because nobody wanted to believe that a 13-year-old could be jacked like that. 0.98

00:06:30.000 Well, when Jay was 13 years old, he weighed like 220. I think it's a different kind of weight.

00:06:35.000 Was it a different build? 1.00

00:06:37.000 I was knocking motherfuckers out. 1.00

00:06:39.000 He was built like a goddamn tank. 1.00

00:06:41.000 Yeah, that's not a 13-year-old you want to fight. 0.99

00:06:43.000 Also, fun fact, he is the reason, Mike Tyson solely is the reason why now if you're on TV for even five minutes, they start scurrying about your tattoos being covered, or can you get a release for them all?

00:06:55.000 Because when he came on a...

00:06:57.000 Was it the Hangover movie?

00:07:00.000 The company that did, or the tattoo artist that did his face tattoo sued for like, I think won for like millions of dollars.

00:07:07.000 What?

00:07:07.000 That's so crazy.

00:07:08.000 How is that possible?

00:07:09.000 For doing the movie?

00:07:10.000 Because they used that person's artwork without them.

00:07:12.000 Once you put a tattoo on somebody, you claim part ownership of that person now?

00:07:17.000 It makes tattoos so much gayer.

00:07:19.000 It does. 1.00

00:07:20.000 I'm going to walk around with some fucking dudes. 1.00

00:07:22.000 Oh yeah, this is when I married a lesbian in Alaska. 1.00

00:07:27.000 This is when I became, I guess, partners in life with a guy in Montreal who spoke French.

00:07:32.000 Jay, how many tattoos do we have in common?

00:07:33.000 We have the same...

00:07:34.000 You guys have a bunch of tattoos in common?

00:07:36.000 One, two, three.

00:07:37.000 Yeah, we have the Dave Smith.

00:07:39.000 What do you guys have?

00:07:41.000 Here we go.

00:07:42.000 What's happening here?

00:07:43.000 There's a lot of people that can't hear this.

00:07:46.000 What are these things?

00:07:47.000 This is Half Hearts and it says Dave and Smith.

00:07:51.000 Wow.

00:07:52.000 So you are on their arm.

00:07:55.000 Did that make you uncomfortable?

00:07:56.000 I did not consent. 1.00

00:07:57.000 He's too much of a pussy to get a tattoo so we did it for him. 1.00

00:08:00.000 That's actually cute. 1.00

00:08:01.000 That's adorable.

00:08:02.000 That's real love, man.

00:08:03.000 You guys have to stay friends for life now.

00:08:04.000 I know.

00:08:05.000 I was going to be out the door when they got this tattoo.

00:08:07.000 You know, girls want to get married, guys do that. 0.97

00:08:09.000 Alright, bro, I'm your bro. 0.99

00:08:10.000 I'm fucking tattooing your name on my leg, bro. 0.99

00:08:13.000 You gotta do mine. 1.00

00:08:14.000 Tattoo toys on your fucking leg, bro. 1.00

00:08:16.000 Hey, you can have as many guys tattooed on your leg as you want. 1.00

00:08:19.000 I don't care.

00:08:20.000 I'm not jealous. 1.00

00:08:21.000 But I want my fucking name on your leg, bro. 1.00

00:08:23.000 There was a Worldstar video yesterday of a guy catching a girl cheating in a hotel. 1.00

00:08:29.000 And the other guy's, like, naked in the hallway, and she's, like, in her underwear, and the guy's just screaming at her. 0.99

00:08:34.000 There's a guy there, and she just fucking keeps going, and he's like, I got my fucking, your name tatted on me! 0.99

00:08:40.000 And she's doing all that, I'm sorry, calm down, I'm sorry. 0.99

00:08:43.000 And when she just decides that she doesn't give a shit anymore, she goes, well, no one told you to get my name tatted on you. 1.00

00:08:47.000 Now you look like a fucking asshole with my name tatted on you. 1.00

00:08:49.000 Have you ever done anything for a girl, like a tattoo? 1.00

00:08:53.000 Yeah, so I have three Chinese characters here.

00:08:56.000 This is back when I was young enough, when a tattoo shop was able to convince you, which I think they still do to people, that Chinese characters can say or spell anything, which is just not true.

00:09:06.000 It's supposed to be letters, so I believed Chinese characters was CMS. They're still there.

00:09:13.000 They're just blended into something else, but it was Sherilyn Marie Sleeter was the name of my girlfriend.

00:09:21.000 That's a terrible name.

00:09:22.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:09:23.000 Sheryl Sleeter? 1.00

00:09:24.000 She sounds like she's got shit teeth. 1.00

00:09:26.000 Infamous. 1.00

00:09:27.000 No, good teeth. 1.00

00:09:28.000 Sheryl Sleeter sounds like she's got fucking teeth pointing in every which direction. 1.00

00:09:31.000 Hot chick, actually, but just, I mean, coming from like a real pack of dummies. 1.00

00:09:36.000 Like, real stupid. 1.00

00:09:37.000 And so stupid, in fact, was she that I got those tattooed on me. 1.00

00:09:41.000 Thank God, in Chinese characters, CMS. Her mom didn't like me, and I came, and I couldn't wait to tell her mom that I got this tattoo. 1.00

00:09:49.000 I go, look what I got for your daughter.

00:09:51.000 And she's like, what is that?

00:09:52.000 I go, CMS. And she goes, what's that?

00:09:55.000 I go, your daughter's initials.

00:09:58.000 Sherilyn Marie Sleater.

00:09:59.000 And she goes, her mom, she was so happy to go, that's not your name? 0.98

00:10:04.000 My girlfriend was so dumb, she didn't know her name. 1.00

00:10:08.000 She just made up the Marie part. 0.99

00:10:09.000 Her name is Sherilyn Sleater.

00:10:12.000 And it was that, so I got a wrong tattoo of a girlfriend.

00:10:15.000 That's perfect.

00:10:17.000 She was with me while I got it and didn't know her own middle name.

00:10:19.000 Sat there confidently, like, make sure you get the M good.

00:10:22.000 That tattoo is wild, large patches of America.

00:10:27.000 Yeah.

00:10:28.000 That is that tattoo. 0.99

00:10:29.000 That tattoo like that, that's that fucked up, embodies so many lives. 0.99

00:10:34.000 Oh yeah. 0.99

00:10:34.000 So many people have made horrendous choices. 0.99

00:10:38.000 Yeah, I had my first tattoo.

00:10:40.000 It just said, Lou Dog.

00:10:43.000 I gotta cover it up.

00:10:44.000 But Ludog.

00:10:45.000 L-U-D-O-G-G. Nobody has ever called me Ludog.

00:10:50.000 Except for afterwards, sarcastically, to make fun of me.

00:10:52.000 They're like, alright, Ludog. 0.79

00:10:54.000 But you were so psyched to go tell your friends, hey guys, you're calling me Ludog, man.

00:10:57.000 Well, it was weird because I only had $70.

00:10:59.000 And I was like, alright, dude, I have $70.

00:11:01.000 I'm 18. I just turned 18. I was like, I'm getting a fucking tattoo.

00:11:04.000 And I was like, alright, I'm getting Ludog no matter what. 0.99

00:11:06.000 But I gotta get a little design underneath it.

00:11:11.000 And then underneath it it was it was tribal like me almost it almost look like like antlers like tribal antlers but it was because I was poor something you would like scribble on a binder while you're boarding class Dude, it was a tramp stamp.

00:11:25.000 It was a tiny tramp stamp underneath Lou Dog for no reason.

00:11:29.000 Were you underage?

00:11:30.000 No, I was 18. I was underage.

00:11:32.000 That's why mine is the word J in Old English, and it is so high up here just so my mom wouldn't see it.

00:11:37.000 Saw it immediately.

00:11:38.000 Saw it immediately.

00:11:39.000 You have to hide it under your t-shirt. 0.99

00:11:41.000 We were both fat kids, and I had a big fat arm, so there's a little tiny shit tattoo on my big fat arm, and your J is so tiny. 0.99

00:11:48.000 It's so tiny. 0.99

00:11:49.000 Is it still there?

00:11:49.000 Yeah.

00:11:50.000 Oh man, it's bad.

00:11:51.000 It's bad.

00:11:51.000 Yeah.

00:11:52.000 It's that, yeah.

00:11:53.000 And then more Chinese stuff here.

00:11:54.000 And then a Pam Anderson barbed wire around my arm. 1.00

00:11:57.000 But I've just accepted that all my tattoos have some shitty dumb story. 0.94

00:12:00.000 In high school, my friend Jimmy was the first one to get tattooed. 0.95

00:12:03.000 And he got this really shitty, like, tiger on his arm with his name, in case he forgets his name.

00:12:08.000 You know, I think we were, like, 18 at the time. 0.88

00:12:10.000 Maybe 17. And he came home, and he had, like, a little Band-Aid peeking out underneath his shirt.

00:12:17.000 And his mom started screaming at him. 0.92

00:12:19.000 And I hope I'm not fucking this story up. 0.89

00:12:23.000 I hope I'm not.

00:12:23.000 But...

00:12:24.000 Like, I remember thinking that, like, wow, he was the first.

00:12:28.000 Like, everyone's got to get a tattoo eventually.

00:12:29.000 Like, the idea that someone's going to draw on you permanent.

00:12:34.000 Like, ooh, forever?

00:12:35.000 You've got to keep, like, it's a ball's move.

00:12:37.000 It's funny it never really hit me, like, that hard.

00:12:38.000 I know, and it's true, and by the way, I wish...

00:12:41.000 Talk about having a time machine.

00:12:43.000 If you can go back and just tell your teenage self, just wait until even your late 20s.

00:12:47.000 You're going to have a lot of good years with awesome tattoos, or you're going to make this decision now and have the rest of your life with some pretty shitty ones.

00:12:53.000 You have no money when you're 18. There's no money for good tattoos.

00:12:58.000 I have $20 tattoos on me, for sure.

00:13:02.000 I was offended by the drawing because I'm an artist.

00:13:05.000 And I was looking at it and I was like, this is so bad.

00:13:07.000 The guy just traced it.

00:13:08.000 I mean, the guy was not an artist at all, whoever did the tattoo. 0.94

00:13:11.000 He was fucking just a guy who got a job doing tattoos. 0.98

00:13:14.000 Who learned how to use the gun. 1.00

00:13:15.000 Exactly.

00:13:16.000 That's it.

00:13:16.000 He just traced it.

00:13:17.000 On my leg, I have a dragon, like another tribal dragon when I was 19 in Florida, in Miami.

00:13:24.000 We went on a boardwalk tattoo shop with Chinese people in the front.

00:13:28.000 Don't ever get a tattoo. 0.99

00:13:29.000 Unless you're in China and they're using the old tappy technique where they fucking do that. 1.00

00:13:34.000 Don't go to a shit bodega tattoo shop because that's what I got. 1.00

00:13:38.000 It's all blended together now. 1.00

00:13:40.000 And the guys had no idea. 0.99

00:13:41.000 It's painful as shit. 0.99

00:13:42.000 They don't know what they're doing. 0.99

00:13:43.000 The other problem with it is it's really painful.

00:13:46.000 They go too deep.

00:13:47.000 They pull it out.

00:13:48.000 Well, that's another thing about henna. 1.00

00:13:50.000 Ladies or guys who are into henna tattoos, if you get those henna tattoos like in Thailand or something like that, sometimes it's not really henna.

00:13:58.000 It's hair dye.

00:13:59.000 And the hair dye can be poisonous to your skin.

00:14:02.000 It's not good stuff.

00:14:03.000 You didn't even die getting a real tattoo. 0.99

00:14:05.000 Well, I don't know if you could die, but I think it fucks you up. 0.99

00:14:07.000 Getting painted on with hair dye? 0.99

00:14:10.000 I think there was a warning about this that I read.

00:14:13.000 They're saying don't get henna from places that aren't using real henna because they use cheap hair dye.

00:14:19.000 They could have just stopped at don't get henna.

00:14:21.000 Yeah, you could have said that.

00:14:23.000 That's a weird one, right?

00:14:24.000 It's like, I want a tattoo, but not really.

00:14:26.000 Yeah.

00:14:26.000 It looks like a spray-on tan's wearing off.

00:14:29.000 Yes.

00:14:31.000 It just looks disgusting.

00:14:33.000 PPD is in it. 0.68

00:14:35.000 Black can often contain PPD at high levels. 1.00

00:14:37.000 And when it applied to skin, it can cause chemical burns and allergic reactions.

00:14:42.000 And I don't know what PPD is.

00:14:43.000 I'm trying to find that.

00:14:44.000 Chemical burns?

00:14:46.000 Yeah, you gotta be careful out there, kids.

00:14:48.000 Don't be pouring chemicals on you.

00:14:50.000 Joe Rogan says, steer clear of Hannah.

00:14:52.000 Drill holes in your skin and pump some ink in there.

00:14:55.000 There had to be some errors made when they were coming up with the first tattoos. 0.99

00:15:01.000 People's arms were fucking falling off their body. 0.99

00:15:04.000 I'm pretty sure the first tattoos were like an Africa carving shit into your arm or something. 1.00

00:15:08.000 Yeah, like a scarring thing. 0.99

00:15:09.000 Yeah.

00:15:10.000 When someone's a great tattoo artist, I'm always blown.

00:15:12.000 It's the most sloppy, uncomfortable.

00:15:15.000 The fact that I couldn't do anything near that with a pencil and art supplies and a set flat surface, to have to do that is great.

00:15:22.000 When someone's amazing at it, it makes no sense.

00:15:25.000 No, it doesn't.

00:15:26.000 Also, they're still just scribbling, basically, it looks like, and then they swipe it away.

00:15:30.000 It looks like they're mad at you. 0.99

00:15:32.000 I found the craziest fucking page. 0.99

00:15:34.000 Jamie, I'm going to send it to you. 0.99

00:15:35.000 This is a lady, and she does paint on people's face that makes it look like they have extra eyeballs. 1.00

00:15:43.000 And the paint is so accurate, you're looking at a video of it, and you're like, what the fuck am I looking at? 0.98

00:15:49.000 I have to say. 0.99

00:15:50.000 Oh, is it the Asian chick? 1.00

00:15:51.000 Because she makes herself into different... 0.99

00:15:52.000 That chick is fucking talented, what she does with makeup. 1.00

00:15:55.000 And she got in trouble because she did blackface, but she does everything. 1.00

00:15:58.000 She didn't do blackface. 1.00

00:15:59.000 She made herself into an African Nubian princess that was the most amazing thing in the world.

00:16:03.000 Is this her?

00:16:03.000 But it still has the outline.

00:16:07.000 She's chucking and jiving.

00:16:08.000 You got it?

00:16:09.000 Mimi Choi?

00:16:10.000 I'm a newbie and princess.

00:16:11.000 Where are you talking?

00:16:13.000 Her name is Mimi Choi. 1.00

00:16:15.000 This is the shit she does. 1.00

00:16:16.000 Whoa! 1.00

00:16:17.000 Look at that.

00:16:19.000 Dude, that's insane.

00:16:20.000 Yeah. 0.94

00:16:21.000 Your head, she's got eyeballs drawn all over her face. 1.00

00:16:24.000 This is Joe Rogan's perfect woman. 0.99

00:16:26.000 Well, that's like a tool video.

00:16:29.000 Yeah, it does!

00:16:30.000 Dude, she's a fractal. 0.99

00:16:32.000 That is something you would see if you were on some serious drugs. 1.00

00:16:34.000 And this is the kind of shit you gotta pretend to enjoy if you wanna fuck a hot Asian chick. 1.00

00:16:39.000 I'm super into New Dance. 1.00

00:16:40.000 Like, look at that.

00:16:41.000 Oh, this is a different chick than I was thinking of, but I guess it's a category.

00:16:44.000 It's cool.

00:16:45.000 It's crazy.

00:16:46.000 If you scroll down and look at some of the eyeball ones, where the extra eyeballs are below her face... 1.00

00:16:52.000 Oh, Jesus Christ, that's trippy. 0.99

00:16:54.000 Dude, it's a fucking freakout. 1.00

00:16:55.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:16:56.000 It's a fucking freakout. 1.00

00:16:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:58.000 That's so weird.

00:16:59.000 Yeah, it's wild.

00:17:00.000 It's that same sort of level of tattoo art that the really high-level tattoo guy...

00:17:05.000 Have you seen that guy Steve Butcher?

00:17:07.000 I've showed you that guy before, right? 1.00

00:17:08.000 If that guy walked into a room, I would think that it's a monster and I would kill it. 1.00

00:17:12.000 Yeah, you're like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:17:13.000 That's terrifying. 1.00

00:17:14.000 Someone drugged you.

00:17:15.000 Yeah.

00:17:16.000 It's like, oh my god, Satan is real.

00:17:19.000 I've been running around arrogant thinking that Satan's not real.

00:17:22.000 Yeah, this is Steve Butcher. 1.00

00:17:24.000 Steve Butcher does insane shit, man. 1.00

00:17:26.000 He did one of me. 1.00

00:17:27.000 Somebody got me tattooed on their leg, and it's fucking incredible. 0.94

00:17:30.000 How do you feel about that, Joe? 0.98

00:17:31.000 So weird.

00:17:33.000 Don't do that.

00:17:34.000 Don't do that. 1.00

00:17:35.000 You can't say it to the guy when he sends you the fucking... 1.00

00:17:38.000 Stop. 1.00

00:17:39.000 Just stop.

00:17:41.000 A guy got Legion of Skanks tattooed on his face, and you look at it and you go, that's awesome that you want to do that, but man, maybe you shouldn't have.

00:17:48.000 He had a bunch of other face tattoos, though.

00:17:50.000 It wasn't the first one.

00:17:51.000 It's true.

00:17:51.000 Look at that Kobe Bryant.

00:17:52.000 Scroll up a bit.

00:17:53.000 Look at that Kobe Bryant. 0.99

00:17:54.000 He's got the t-shirt in his mouth. 1.00

00:17:55.000 Get the fuck out of here, man. 1.00

00:17:57.000 That might as well be a photograph. 1.00

00:17:59.000 That's crazy.

00:18:00.000 Like, look at the resolution.

00:18:02.000 Look at the sweat. 0.99

00:18:03.000 If you said to me, what's the one thing you can't draw, I'd say black people sweat. 1.00

00:18:07.000 That's crazy. 0.99

00:18:10.000 And this guy pulled it off somehow.

00:18:14.000 If I was throwing that, it would just have white drips down his family and you got like bukkake'd. 1.00

00:18:19.000 Make that bigger, Jamie?

00:18:20.000 That guy did that with needles, man.

00:18:22.000 I mean, that's insane how good that is.

00:18:24.000 Yeah, somehow it doesn't seem nearly as weird to get athletes tattooed on you as it does comedians.

00:18:29.000 No, it does. 0.99

00:18:30.000 I'm sure Kobe's running around going, damn, dude. 0.97

00:18:35.000 It's a little different, though, because people grow up on like... 0.94

00:18:37.000 I mean, that's not true, dude, because the connection that people feel with comics and podcasts, it's pretty...

00:18:43.000 I get it.

00:18:44.000 You know, it's like, we don't want the responsibility.

00:18:46.000 We want to do it, but we don't want the responsibility.

00:18:48.000 I don't want the responsibility of being your shin. 0.99

00:18:51.000 I 100% want my fucking face tattooed on people. 0.99

00:18:54.000 So anybody out there, I'll give you a free Legion of Skanks t-shirt. 0.99

00:18:57.000 As long as it says, there's the dude.

00:18:59.000 Wow.

00:19:00.000 It's a good tattoo.

00:19:01.000 As long as it says, Lou Dog.

00:19:03.000 Yeah.

00:19:03.000 That is crazy.

00:19:05.000 That is as accurate as a photograph. 1.00

00:19:08.000 That's my fucking face. 1.00

00:19:09.000 That's my face. 1.00

00:19:10.000 That's fucking intense, Joe. 0.99

00:19:12.000 He's amazing. 0.99

00:19:12.000 Yeah, I don't remember what that's from. 0.99

00:19:14.000 I was probably making a point.

00:19:18.000 Whatever it was, you were right.

00:19:19.000 That's the problem with me, man.

00:19:20.000 If you get any one clip of me or my face, you can make decisions.

00:19:25.000 That's an incredible tattoo. 0.98

00:19:26.000 That's the first time Joe saw Ari's butthole. 1.00

00:19:28.000 That was my face. 0.98

00:19:29.000 There's no way I can remember that far back.

00:19:32.000 I think Ari's... 1.00

00:19:33.000 He's said so many times. 0.99

00:19:34.000 I think he's in the process of getting his butthole fixed. 0.98

00:19:36.000 Is he going to get surgery? 0.98

00:19:37.000 Yeah, I think so.

00:19:38.000 Is it the surgery?

00:19:39.000 He's been bleeding since I've known him.

00:19:41.000 It's bizarre that he just lives life like that.

00:19:43.000 That's a problem that would shut me off from going out to the world.

00:19:47.000 What causes those things?

00:19:49.000 Hemorrhoids.

00:19:50.000 What causes hemorrhoids?

00:19:51.000 I got hemorrhoids working out because I wasn't breathing when I was lifting weights.

00:19:54.000 And I was just...

00:19:57.000 Just clenching. 0.99

00:19:58.000 Just clenching my butthole, and it just popped out a little fucking... 1.00

00:20:01.000 It was like squeezing a balloon animal? 1.00

00:20:03.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:20:03.000 You made blisters inside your butthole from squeezing it together. 0.99

00:20:07.000 And it sucked for a while. 0.99

00:20:07.000 Well, this is actually how we got introduced to Ari's butthole, was I was complaining about me having hemorrhoids. 0.99

00:20:12.000 And on Legion of Skanks, we opened up my butthole to show them. 0.98

00:20:16.000 I showed all the guys. 0.98

00:20:17.000 Lewis did it.

00:20:18.000 We didn't all open up.

00:20:19.000 And Ari said, that's not a hemorrhoid.

00:20:21.000 And we were like, what?

00:20:22.000 That's a hemorrhoid.

00:20:23.000 Ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:20:26.000 You call that a hemorrhoid?

00:20:28.000 Oh, that's hilarious.

00:20:29.000 Step aside, little lady. 1.00

00:20:30.000 Let me show you a hemorrhoid. 1.00

00:20:31.000 And it was like, you know, in Stranger Things, the fucking monster, the way the face opens up, that's what Ori's asshole does. 1.00

00:20:38.000 It looks like Homer Simpson's mouth. 0.99

00:20:40.000 Yeah, remember like the blade?

00:20:41.000 Remember the blade vampire mouths when they evolved?

00:20:43.000 And they opened like Predator?

00:20:45.000 Predator's mouth.

00:20:49.000 It looks like it's baggy, but just because it opens a lot.

00:20:51.000 What's the way it opens?

00:20:52.000 How does he get away with what he gets away with, dude? 1.00

00:20:55.000 Because he keeps tissues in his asshole at all times. 1.00

00:20:57.000 And if you're with Ari, at one point he might just throw a bloody tissue at you. 1.00

00:21:02.000 I get staying away from the doctors.

00:21:04.000 I get it. 1.00

00:21:05.000 But if you're actively bleeding out of your asshole, I'd be on an operating table, face down, quick. 1.00

00:21:11.000 Quick! 1.00

00:21:12.000 I think it's a real pain in the ass to get the surgery. 0.99

00:21:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:21:18.000 I liked it.

00:21:20.000 He's dealing with it as is.

00:21:23.000 I'm glad he's going to get it fixed though.

00:21:26.000 It's troublesome.

00:21:27.000 How many times did that guy send you a picture of bloody toilet paper?

00:21:32.000 I've seen way too much.

00:21:34.000 Way too much. 1.00

00:21:35.000 The most impressive thing to me is that Ari historically has just crushed ass. 1.00

00:21:43.000 Like hot chicks. 1.00

00:21:44.000 Walking around with...

00:21:45.000 He's a brilliant guy. 1.00

00:21:46.000 He's confident walking around with napkins up his ass. 0.99

00:21:48.000 He's also weirdly handsome. 1.00

00:21:50.000 Like, you don't think you see him, you're like, alright, that's a fucking goofy, camel-faced fucking asshole. 1.00

00:21:55.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:55.000 But then you look at him again, he kind of has dreamy eyes. 1.00

00:21:58.000 Dreamy.

00:21:59.000 And he's in good shape.

00:22:00.000 I don't know, man.

00:22:01.000 He got in good shape for Sober October. 1.00

00:22:03.000 He was a fucking animal. 1.00

00:22:04.000 I knew that he was going to be a real problem. 1.00

00:22:07.000 He was trying to win that goddamn thing. 0.99

00:22:08.000 That's not fair, dude. 1.00

00:22:09.000 You can't fucking have an athletic competition with all of your out-of-shape fat friends. 1.00

00:22:13.000 It's not fair. 1.00

00:22:15.000 It's certainly not fair.

00:22:18.000 But they were willing to do it.

00:22:20.000 I'm like, okay.

00:22:21.000 Good luck.

00:22:22.000 I'm like, look, we're going to work out seven days, six hours a day.

00:22:26.000 Can you do that?

00:22:27.000 We're going to have to do that.

00:22:29.000 We're going to see who drops.

00:22:30.000 This is not smart.

00:22:32.000 And they're saying because they're sober.

00:22:34.000 Ari came the closest. 0.75

00:22:35.000 Ari got close. 1.00

00:22:36.000 He got close.

00:22:37.000 He went hard. 1.00

00:22:38.000 He went fucking hard. 0.99

00:22:39.000 If Ari was in shape going into it, he probably would have... 0.99

00:22:44.000 What's the parameters of winning?

00:22:46.000 How do you win?

00:22:47.000 This is last year.

00:22:49.000 Last year was the only time we made a competition.

00:22:51.000 And I think it's better off not being a competition, honestly.

00:22:54.000 I think the first year we had to do 15 yoga classes over the month.

00:22:58.000 15 90 minute hot yoga classes.

00:23:01.000 Which is annoying.

00:23:02.000 It's annoying.

00:23:03.000 Like, you don't want to do it, but you have to do it.

00:23:05.000 Like, when you get in there, all right, number seven, and you're starting to think, how many more days are there?

00:23:10.000 I'm going to have to do a bunch in a row.

00:23:11.000 I wound up having to do nine in a row. 0.99

00:23:12.000 So I did yoga nine fucking days in a row. 0.99

00:23:15.000 But there was no competition. 0.99

00:23:17.000 But we just had a requirement.

00:23:19.000 And everybody met the requirement.

00:23:20.000 We felt good that we accomplished the goal together.

00:23:22.000 But then everybody started talking crazy.

00:23:25.000 They wanted to do a competition.

00:23:26.000 And Tom was like, yeah, let's wear these heart rate monitors.

00:23:30.000 I'm like, okay.

00:23:32.000 Alright. 0.98

00:23:33.000 We're all gonna die.

00:23:34.000 So what was the...

00:23:35.000 How did you...

00:23:36.000 How would Aria have won?

00:23:38.000 Like, what was the...

00:23:38.000 It's a point system.

00:23:40.000 Okay.

00:23:40.000 It's based on 80% of your heart rate, right?

00:23:43.000 So it finds your max heart rate, and then, you know, 80% of that gets you X amount of points, and 90% of that gets you Y amount of points.

00:23:54.000 I forget what it is.

00:23:54.000 Over the course of time.

00:23:56.000 Yeah, but you can't really maintain 90%.

00:23:58.000 90% is like these sprints.

00:24:00.000 The real smart move is to stay at 80 and go long term.

00:24:04.000 So we were doing these cardio workouts.

00:24:06.000 It's all just in your head.

00:24:08.000 Because it's not hard to do.

00:24:10.000 It's not hard to do an elliptical machine.

00:24:12.000 It's an easy motion.

00:24:13.000 So it's all in your head. 1.00

00:24:14.000 And all you do is you wear this fucking heart rate monitor. 0.99

00:24:17.000 And what I did is I watched the murder scene from John Wick where he goes into the Russian bathhouse over and over again on a loop. 0.99

00:24:24.000 For five hours, and I just stayed on the fucking elliptical machine for five hours watching that scene. 0.64

00:24:30.000 I'd get to the end of it, and I'd rewind it, and I'd watch it again, and I'd be like, ah! 0.98

00:24:34.000 The music popped up, and I did it for fucking six hours a day, seven hours a day. 0.95

00:24:40.000 Six hours a day? 0.99

00:24:41.000 That's psychotic.

00:24:42.000 Well, we were having a competition.

00:24:46.000 It's almost to the point where it's probably not healthy to work out that much.

00:24:49.000 It's not healthy.

00:24:50.000 It's definitely not healthy.

00:24:51.000 We were competing.

00:24:53.000 We were going to hell.

00:24:55.000 I'm like, we're going to hell.

00:24:56.000 There's no way Burt Kreischer was doing anything like that. 0.99

00:24:58.000 Burt Kreischer was the one who talked the most shit, so I would think about him while I was getting tired. 1.00

00:25:03.000 I was like, there's no way, bitch. 1.00

00:25:05.000 There's no way. 1.00

00:25:06.000 You're going to die. 0.97

00:25:07.000 We're all going to die. 1.00

00:25:08.000 Let's just go. 0.95

00:25:09.000 We're going to go until there's no sleep.

00:25:11.000 Is there an advantage to starting off being one of the fattest guys because you can lose more?

00:25:17.000 No.

00:25:18.000 Your body's going to have a hard time recovering.

00:25:20.000 But 80% of your max heart rate is different than 80% of my max heart rate.

00:25:23.000 So technically, I don't have to work as hard as you.

00:25:26.000 You'd have to run seven on a treadmill.

00:25:28.000 I could run at a 4.5.

00:25:29.000 No, I think it's based on your age as well.

00:25:32.000 So the max heart rate's different.

00:25:34.000 So it might actually be easier.

00:25:36.000 Because he's just used to doing it.

00:25:38.000 It's all about your body being used to doing it.

00:25:40.000 Yeah, if you're used to working out that much.

00:25:42.000 80% is only like 140 beats a minute.

00:25:45.000 Or maybe a little bit more, like 146 beats per minute.

00:25:48.000 That's not that bad.

00:25:49.000 You can kind of do that for a long time.

00:25:52.000 You just...

00:25:53.000 What's like...

00:25:54.000 Just watch something that's engaging and make sure you keep breathing at that rate and you get trapped in whatever you're watching.

00:26:01.000 And for me it was fights too.

00:26:03.000 That was a big one.

00:26:04.000 I just put on some great fights. 0.91

00:26:05.000 So I got a TV right in front of me and I'm on this fucking elliptical machine watching fights and I would drink gigantic jugs of water with Himalayan salt and all these different... 0.90

00:26:15.000 That keeps your heart rate up? 0.96

00:26:17.000 No, to keep you hydrated.

00:26:18.000 Keep you alive?

00:26:19.000 Oh, okay.

00:26:20.000 I sweat.

00:26:21.000 For the sweet, sweet, deliciousness of water?

00:26:23.000 I sweat so much that I set off the fire alarm.

00:26:26.000 What?

00:26:27.000 I filled the room up with so much steam that the fire alarm went off.

00:26:32.000 I filmed it.

00:26:33.000 Good fire alarm.

00:26:33.000 I put it on YouTube.

00:26:35.000 Or on Twitter.

00:26:36.000 What is it on Instagram? 0.89

00:26:37.000 It was ridiculous. 0.99

00:26:38.000 Dave, you make me so mad. 1.00

00:26:39.000 Dave's never worked out a day in his fucking life. 1.00

00:26:42.000 No. 0.99

00:26:43.000 There's got to be a few.

00:26:44.000 But he looked good.

00:26:45.000 Yeah, he looks good.

00:26:46.000 He's handsome.

00:26:47.000 My point was Ari got close. 1.00

00:26:49.000 He got close to me.

00:26:50.000 He wasn't even working out.

00:26:51.000 That's how crazy Ari is. 1.00

00:26:53.000 And then you have to deal with the fact that you're doing this publicly and you can't allow Ari to beat you at this thing?

00:26:58.000 I wasn't allowing Burt.

00:26:59.000 If Ari beat me, I would have said, wow, man, that's really, really impressive. 0.99

00:27:05.000 But Burt, there was no fucking way. 0.99

00:27:07.000 If Burt wins, you have to quit? 0.99

00:27:09.000 No way.

00:27:09.000 Tom, if Tom beat me, I'd be like, dude, you did it, man.

00:27:11.000 Wow.

00:27:12.000 I wish I won, but you won.

00:27:13.000 Bert, no way.

00:27:14.000 There's no way. 0.97

00:27:16.000 We're going to hell. 1.00

00:27:17.000 You just leave, we never hear from you again. 1.00

00:27:18.000 We're going to the dark lands.

00:27:20.000 I'm wearing that Matarami all day long.

00:27:22.000 I'm just going to be lifting weights everywhere I go.

00:27:24.000 How far back was Bert in the standings?

00:27:26.000 For last!

00:27:27.000 Of course he came in last.

00:27:28.000 He's barely working out. 1.00

00:27:30.000 He's talking shit. 0.99

00:27:31.000 What if he do it? 1.00

00:27:32.000 He wins!

00:27:33.000 Was it a marathon he ran or something?

00:27:35.000 Half marathon or half marathon?

00:27:36.000 No, no, no.

00:27:36.000 He ran a full marathon.

00:27:37.000 I mean, that was pretty impressive.

00:27:39.000 That's insane.

00:27:40.000 Bert's tough. 1.00

00:27:40.000 All bullshit aside, Bert talks tremendous amounts of shit. 1.00

00:27:44.000 That's why I didn't want to lose to him. 1.00

00:27:45.000 But Bert's tough. 0.99

00:27:46.000 I think he also talks shit to sort of set the expectation for himself. 1.00

00:27:49.000 Because if he says it, he's gonna fucking have to stick to it. 0.99

00:27:52.000 That's a very Lewis thing. 0.98

00:27:53.000 Lewis speaks very declarative about things.

00:27:57.000 And I'm like, why do you do that?

00:27:59.000 Because I hold myself to that standard. 0.99

00:28:01.000 If I say I'm gonna lose weight publicly and then I don't, everyone gets to call me a fucking phony. 0.98

00:28:05.000 And if I keep it in my head, I probably will be more likely to skip the gym or whatever else it is. 0.98

00:28:11.000 That's really wise.

00:28:12.000 That's really wise.

00:28:12.000 That's a good strategy.

00:28:14.000 If you fail, it works for better podcasting.

00:28:16.000 It's also true.

00:28:17.000 And it's like public acknowledgement of your failings when it comes to little goals that you set for you.

00:28:22.000 It lets everybody know, hey man, this is not easy to do.

00:28:25.000 We live in a social media generation.

00:28:28.000 I need people to tell me, dude, you're losing weight.

00:28:31.000 And when they stop telling me that, I get fat again.

00:28:33.000 And then they're like, oh, you're getting fat.

00:28:34.000 And then I start losing weight again.

00:28:36.000 It's almost that...

00:28:38.000 The attention is sort of what motivates me.

00:28:40.000 I need something beyond just being healthy.

00:28:44.000 How much time have you spent researching different methods of losing weight?

00:28:49.000 You looked into intermittent fasting?

00:28:51.000 Yeah, I've been obsessed with you.

00:28:53.000 I want to try that, but I still don't fully understand what it is.

00:28:56.000 It's simple.

00:28:57.000 You just have a small feeding window.

00:28:59.000 For me, I like to fast.

00:29:02.000 I feel at my best when I'm fasting 14 hours.

00:29:04.000 So what I'll do is...

00:29:06.000 If I eat at 8 p.m., then I eat at 10 a.m.

00:29:09.000 the next day.

00:29:10.000 It's not hard.

00:29:11.000 I was doing 12 p.m.

00:29:12.000 to 7 p.m.

00:29:13.000 I was eating.

00:29:13.000 I could eat from 12 p.m.

00:29:14.000 to 7 p.m.

00:29:16.000 But I wasn't really eating healthy things.

00:29:19.000 That's what I was going to say. 0.80

00:29:20.000 When I was doing intermittent fasting, I was eating shitty.

00:29:24.000 What I'm better at is if I just cut out most of the carbs. 0.99

00:29:26.000 I'll eat fruit and shit like that. 0.99

00:29:27.000 But if I cut out all the carbs and the burgers and the fucking bread and the pasta and the rice... 1.00

00:29:32.000 I can manage that because I can get creative. 0.93

00:29:34.000 And if I'm in the mood for pizza, I can figure out a low-carb version of pizza.

00:29:39.000 Cauliflower crust or whatever it is. 0.99

00:29:40.000 Oh, gay. 1.00

00:29:41.000 You know what you should do? 0.99

00:29:43.000 It's really delicious.

00:29:44.000 Do all those things, but also lift weights.

00:29:46.000 Yeah, I have been.

00:29:47.000 I just started again, like two weeks ago.

00:29:48.000 That's a big one.

00:29:49.000 Lifting weights is huge.

00:29:51.000 It burns a shit ton of calories.

00:29:52.000 And more importantly, when your body has more muscle, then your body burns more calories.

00:29:56.000 So you could eat the same amount of food and you lose weight.

00:29:59.000 You could do all that or, Lewis, I know you, just fist fight a comedian.

00:30:03.000 When I say lose weight, I mean you'll lose body fat.

00:30:06.000 Joe, you eat like tons of meat.

00:30:07.000 I eat a lot of meat.

00:30:09.000 Have you gotten gout stuff ever?

00:30:11.000 No, I don't think gout's from meat.

00:30:12.000 Isn't that like a wine disease?

00:30:14.000 What do you get gout from?

00:30:15.000 Meat.

00:30:15.000 A lot of meat and beer?

00:30:17.000 I don't even know.

00:30:17.000 It's in your feet?

00:30:18.000 It's in your toe. 1.00

00:30:19.000 It's your fucking right big toe. 1.00

00:30:21.000 It sucks. 1.00

00:30:22.000 I think you're sitting in a chair for too long and eating too much meat. 1.00

00:30:25.000 I think it's all those things.

00:30:26.000 I think you can get your heel, too. 0.99

00:30:27.000 Doesn't it fuck your heels up, too? 0.99

00:30:28.000 Maybe. 0.86

00:30:28.000 I don't know. 0.86

00:30:29.000 I only had it hit twice ever in my toe.

00:30:32.000 It was awful.

00:30:33.000 What, you had gout?

00:30:34.000 Yeah, and by the way, it hurt so much that when I went to the doctor, I was like, I'll take, because you can get medicine for it every day you take, so you don't get it, and I would have absolutely taken that as how much it hurt, and they'd go, no, you don't have a condition.

00:30:47.000 I think I just went to a festival of concerts one weekend.

00:30:51.000 You were a little gouty.

00:30:52.000 Here's the definition.

00:30:53.000 Here's a definition.

00:30:54.000 Gout occurs when urate crystals accumulate in your joint, causing inflammation and intense pain of a gout attack.

00:31:01.000 Urate crystals can form when you have high levels of uric acid in your blood.

00:31:05.000 Your body produces uric acid when it breaks down purines, substances that are found naturally in your body.

00:31:11.000 I got piss blood.

00:31:12.000 That still didn't answer my question.

00:31:14.000 What's your main cause?

00:31:15.000 Here it is.

00:31:15.000 I got pee blood.

00:31:16.000 He's up on the uric acid.

00:31:17.000 Certain foods.

00:31:17.000 Meat, poultry, seafood.

00:31:19.000 Hmm.

00:31:20.000 Chemical compounds that are high amounts in certain foods like meat, poultry, and seafood.

00:31:25.000 That's interesting.

00:31:26.000 I think you also have to be fat. 0.91

00:31:27.000 Hypo uremia.

00:31:28.000 Do non-fat people get gout?

00:31:30.000 Yeah, my friend was not fat.

00:31:34.000 Hyperuricemia.

00:31:34.000 It sounds like something that a fat person should only get, though.

00:31:38.000 Dude, I lied.

00:31:38.000 I was on a flight yesterday and I lied because we were on the runway for two and a half hours and I was just getting really impatient.

00:31:45.000 I was like, I'm fucking hungry.

00:31:47.000 I made up that I was hyperglycemic to get food. 0.97

00:31:52.000 I buzzed the thing and they wouldn't come.

00:31:54.000 So eventually I started just like waving like a madman.

00:31:56.000 And Mike Fennoya, who's a friend of ours, a comic, he was a few rows up. 0.93

00:31:59.000 That's how he knew I was on a plane because I was being a lunatic.

00:32:02.000 And I was like, we've been on here forever. 0.60

00:32:04.000 I'm hyper-lycemic.

00:32:05.000 I need food right now.

00:32:06.000 Man, I'm like, go get me orange juice. 0.98

00:32:08.000 It was the most fucking embarrassing thing. 0.99

00:32:10.000 Like, here, suck a lemon. 1.00

00:32:13.000 Keep getting me things. 1.00

00:32:16.000 Dude, two and a half hours out of goddamn memory. 0.99

00:32:18.000 When you're angry on a plane that's not going anywhere, I'm blown away by the amount of rules. 0.99

00:32:24.000 We've been at the gate for like two hours before.

00:32:26.000 I'm like, can I just go back into the airport?

00:32:28.000 And they're like, no.

00:32:29.000 It doesn't make any sense if you can.

00:32:30.000 Can you leave and not take the flight?

00:32:32.000 You're like, I'm off.

00:32:33.000 I'm going.

00:32:34.000 I think you can.

00:32:35.000 Unless the door is closed.

00:32:36.000 But it's a big deal.

00:32:38.000 If you want to leave, that's a big deal.

00:32:40.000 But as a Puerto Rican, if you do leave, Louis, you have to twerk on your...

00:32:42.000 I don't know if you watch those videos. 1.00

00:32:43.000 When people leave planes, they go, fuck y'all, fuck! 1.00

00:32:46.000 They always twerk their way out. 1.00

00:32:47.000 You will get put on a list, for sure. 1.00

00:32:49.000 They will check up your asshole every time you fly on a plane. 1.00

00:32:53.000 Well, Louis already has that problem. 1.00

00:32:54.000 Well, me and Kim flew.

00:32:56.000 Am I guessing?

00:32:57.000 Do you think they would probably check you?

00:32:59.000 I don't know.

00:33:00.000 If you decide, I want off the plane right now.

00:33:02.000 If you make a scene or not, yeah, probably.

00:33:04.000 And they have to pull the plane back into...

00:33:05.000 They'll be like, this guy?

00:33:06.000 That's my guess.

00:33:08.000 I don't think you're not going to get off unless you make a scene.

00:33:11.000 You won't get off once it's away from the gate.

00:33:12.000 I'm talking about when they stay at the gate and they never actually pull away from the...

00:33:16.000 When you're on a plane, you're just hoping everyone can keep it together.

00:33:20.000 That's what you're hoping.

00:33:21.000 Just hoping everyone can keep it together.

00:33:22.000 What's your craziest plane experience?

00:33:24.000 I've never had a bad one.

00:33:25.000 I hate flying, and I've had plenty of weird ones.

00:33:28.000 Two dudes did almost get after it once on a plane over overhead space.

00:33:34.000 This one guy was claiming the space overhead...

00:33:37.000 There's only four or five arguments you could have on a plane.

00:33:40.000 Over at space, middle person gets both armrests. 0.94

00:33:43.000 One guy was on this side, right? 1.00

00:33:45.000 But his shit was all filled up. 0.99

00:33:47.000 So he opens up the bin on the other side and puts his bag in and sits down. 1.00

00:33:51.000 And the guy who was behind him, that was his side.

00:33:54.000 He goes, hey man, that's my storage space.

00:33:57.000 He goes, no it's not.

00:33:58.000 He goes, it's storage space.

00:33:59.000 I put my bag in there first.

00:34:01.000 I was ahead of you.

00:34:02.000 I put my bag in there. 1.00

00:34:03.000 He's like, no, you have yours, and I have mine, and yours is full, and he goes to grab his shit. 1.00

00:34:09.000 And the guy goes, hey man, don't touch my fucking bag. 0.99

00:34:11.000 That guy's right, by the way. 0.99

00:34:12.000 The guy who took the other storage space?

00:34:15.000 It's not your personalized storage space.

00:34:18.000 It's just storage space.

00:34:19.000 Sorry. 1.00

00:34:19.000 Well, in first class, I wish one of those degenerate fucks from the back would try to put some shit in my storage space. 1.00

00:34:25.000 I flew first class one time. 1.00

00:34:27.000 They almost went after it though.

00:34:28.000 The waitress had to cut them off. 1.00

00:34:30.000 We're in the air.

00:34:31.000 The waitress?

00:34:32.000 We're in the air and they're going at it again.

00:34:35.000 They were going at it when the plane was about to take off and then they got through it and in the air they were going at it again.

00:34:43.000 The waitress, the stewardess.

00:34:44.000 She cuts them off, wouldn't let them have alcohol, but it was tense.

00:34:47.000 So it's like, you know, you have to keep an eye on it.

00:34:49.000 I was going to say, did you keep your eye on it like the whole time?

00:34:51.000 She made me.

00:34:51.000 The lady made me.

00:34:52.000 She's like, you're going to help me, right?

00:34:53.000 I'm like, Jesus Christ, lady.

00:34:55.000 I don't think anything's going to happen.

00:34:57.000 Well, yesterday, the woman behind me, as I was complaining, she was like, yeah, you know, he was like, well, what do you want to do?

00:35:04.000 I was like, some orange juice, some coffee, maybe a kind bar, that'd be nice.

00:35:07.000 And the woman behind me goes, she said like, loud enough for me to hear, she goes, just get him some orange juice.

00:35:13.000 And I went, I turned around, I was like, mind your business, lady. 1.00

00:35:16.000 Shut the fuck up, lady. 1.00

00:35:18.000 Hey, what are those guys, those undercover dudes that are on planes? 1.00

00:35:20.000 Air Marshals?

00:35:21.000 Air Marshals, right? 0.98

00:35:22.000 So if you're an Air Marshal and you see these two guys getting after a little bit, just talking shit, grabbing bags, just being dicky to each other, when do you move in? 0.97

00:35:30.000 Because you don't want everybody to know you're an Air Marshal. 0.98

00:35:33.000 You're like, they don't have a bomb?

00:35:33.000 You guys gotta work this out.

00:35:35.000 You fucking pussies are just gonna push each other. 1.00

00:35:37.000 You guys aren't terrorists. 1.00

00:35:38.000 What am I doing here? 1.00

00:35:39.000 You're also just an architect and a fucking... 1.00

00:35:42.000 If somebody's willing to have a fight on a plane and give up their entire fucking... 1.00

00:35:45.000 It's such a pain in the ass. 1.00

00:35:46.000 What are you going to deal with to get into a fist fight on a plane? 1.00

00:35:49.000 I don't know how many different crimes it is, but they have to pull this fucking plane over. 1.00

00:35:54.000 You are fucked, dude. 1.00

00:35:55.000 You have to really want to fight somebody in order to do that because you'll deal with a lot of shit before you get to that point. 1.00

00:36:01.000 You're going to like Guantanamo or something when they arrest you. 1.00

00:36:03.000 You're fucked. 1.00

00:36:04.000 You're fucked. 1.00

00:36:04.000 You see that lady smack her boyfriend in the head? 1.00

00:36:07.000 The guy gets up, he's trying to leave, and she's smacking him. 1.00

00:36:09.000 And throws the laptop?

00:36:10.000 Yeah, as he's walking down the aisle.

00:36:12.000 Yeah, I didn't see that. 0.96

00:36:13.000 It sounds ridiculous. 0.91

00:36:15.000 They're in the air, right? 0.93

00:36:16.000 They're in the air, right?

00:36:17.000 The lady's screaming, she's just throwing a laptop at her boyfriend. 1.00

00:36:19.000 Yeah, she's like, you ain't shit. 0.99

00:36:22.000 I don't know if she'd catch her boyfriend cheating on the plane or something. 0.99

00:36:25.000 It was something like that weird.

00:36:26.000 But she got super loud and it became like a huge scene where everybody was listening to her talking to him.

00:36:32.000 It was like, oh my god, this is so crazy.

00:36:34.000 I mean, when they were dragging the Asian guy out of the plane, it's one of the funniest videos of all time. 1.00

00:36:38.000 That was crazy!

00:36:38.000 That guy didn't even do anything!

00:36:38.000 They wanted him to give up his seat.

00:36:40.000 He just wouldn't leave.

00:36:41.000 He started chanting, I want to go home.

00:36:43.000 It was so sad.

00:36:44.000 They would legitimately have to drag me.

00:36:45.000 If they were trying to get me to give up my seat, they would have to drag me out of the plane.

00:36:49.000 Imagine thinking that they could do that.

00:36:51.000 Imagine thinking they could do that.

00:36:52.000 We're just going to grab you physically and take you off the show. 0.99

00:36:55.000 Like, come on.

00:36:56.000 You're on the plane.

00:36:58.000 The plane's about to take off.

00:36:58.000 We're going to grab you and just pull you out of there.

00:37:01.000 What?

00:37:01.000 I think they probably just settled with him.

00:37:05.000 They probably just gave him a ton of money and said, shut the fuck up. 0.99

00:37:08.000 Because at what point it is your private business. 1.00

00:37:11.000 They do have security.

00:37:12.000 I mean, at what point does somebody want to leave your private business? 0.99

00:37:14.000 I'm sure it's within the contract that you fucking... 0.91

00:37:17.000 the terms of service for the ticket that they can do that. 0.95

00:37:20.000 Do you think so?

00:37:21.000 Were the guys already sitting down?

00:37:22.000 Well, he said no after they asked him to leave a lot of times.

00:37:26.000 So I don't know what the law is.

00:37:28.000 I mean...

00:37:28.000 But if it's his ticket, and he bought the ticket, you can just decide if the guy hasn't done anything wrong.

00:37:33.000 It's a ridiculous thing. 1.00

00:37:35.000 It's some fucking dumb line. 1.00

00:37:37.000 They can do anything they want. 1.00

00:37:38.000 Anything they want. 1.00

00:37:39.000 Well, what happened is they got destroyed on social media for weeks afterward, and they apologized, and were like, we're changing our policy, and all of this dumb shit. 0.99

00:37:47.000 Sort of like Starbucks. 0.99

00:37:47.000 That's why homeless people are there. 0.99

00:37:48.000 I hate it. 0.99

00:37:49.000 Don't even get me fucking started, Joe. 1.00

00:37:51.000 American Airlines says officially, thank God that guy wasn't black. 1.00

00:37:57.000 I live in Harlem, and the Starbucks in Harlem, I mean, it looks like a bus depot. 0.80

00:38:01.000 It's crazy.

00:38:02.000 It's just lines of people just sitting there, charging their cell phones, not ordering anything.

00:38:07.000 Well, it's just because their new policy is everyone who walks in is a customer, right?

00:38:10.000 Yeah, they're a customer as soon as they walk in the doors.

00:38:12.000 This is what's hilarious.

00:38:13.000 It happened because of one bad PR thing.

00:38:16.000 In Philly, when these two black dudes were just trying to sit down and chill out at...

00:38:22.000 At Starbucks and someone decided to remove them from the premises.

00:38:25.000 Yeah, but look, if you weren't there, you don't know.

00:38:28.000 I'm with Dave on this.

00:38:30.000 I'm giving him bait.

00:38:32.000 I know that you have opinions on this.

00:38:33.000 Look, all I'm saying is a libertarian perspective is... 0.99

00:38:36.000 They might have been dicks. 1.00

00:38:37.000 Starbucks might have been dicks. 0.99

00:38:38.000 But what I know is they asked him to leave. 0.99

00:38:41.000 They called the cops.

00:38:42.000 The cops weren't going to arrest him.

00:38:44.000 The cops told him, you have to leave.

00:38:45.000 And they still refused to leave.

00:38:48.000 And then they let him go.

00:38:50.000 They literally just cuffed him, took him to the station, and then were like, go.

00:38:52.000 They didn't charge him with anything.

00:38:53.000 They also tried to order Four Loko.

00:38:55.000 So...

00:38:56.000 They were out.

00:38:58.000 Okay, but here's what I know.

00:38:59.000 I know that we don't know what happened.

00:39:01.000 Yes.

00:39:01.000 No, I agree with that completely.

00:39:02.000 You don't know.

00:39:03.000 It was a human interaction. 1.00

00:39:04.000 You don't know who the cunt was there. 1.00

00:39:06.000 It could have been them. 1.00

00:39:07.000 It could have been the person working. 0.99

00:39:08.000 I know what fucking happened. 0.99

00:39:09.000 I know exactly what happened. 1.00

00:39:10.000 What do you think happened?

00:39:11.000 These two guys walked in.

00:39:12.000 They didn't buy anything.

00:39:13.000 They were like, oh yeah, you guys gotta buy something.

00:39:15.000 They were like, no, we don't.

00:39:16.000 They're like, well, you gotta leave then.

00:39:17.000 They're like, no, we don't. 1.00

00:39:18.000 And it was this weird little Mexican standoff between a fucking dumb idiot Starbucks employee and two dumb idiots that wouldn't leave a Starbucks. 1.00

00:39:23.000 Well, here's the difference. 1.00

00:39:24.000 Everything was right. 1.00

00:39:25.000 A Mexican standoff between blacks and some Chinese idiot. 1.00

00:39:28.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:29.000 Do you think that the influx of homeless people is bad for their business?

00:39:33.000 Do you think it's hurting business at all?

00:39:34.000 Absolutely.

00:39:36.000 100%.

00:39:36.000 Imagine if that one move from that one store, if the wings of the butterfly from that one little incident creates a dip in the value of the company.

00:39:46.000 I feel like people wouldn't want to hang out there as long and you probably buy more shit if you like stay there.

00:39:50.000 There's probably people who go up online a couple times if they're there, you know, writing. 0.99

00:39:53.000 You don't want to write your script on your laptop while a guy's shitting his pants next to you. 0.99

00:39:57.000 Yes, and I know we're four morons, but let's solve this. 1.00

00:40:00.000 Like, why are there so many homeless people? 0.99

00:40:02.000 And what could be done?

00:40:03.000 I think that's a real tough one, man.

00:40:05.000 That's like, the thing what they used to do is just institutionalize them. 0.99

00:40:08.000 Just fucking grab them and throw them, and there's some problems with that. 0.98

00:40:11.000 For sure. 0.99

00:40:12.000 Because who decides who's worthy of being institutionalized?

00:40:16.000 We could hunt them at night like Nutria.

00:40:20.000 Did they have those at night?

00:40:21.000 Yeah, they just go around with the thing of the shooting.

00:40:23.000 Didn't Natal do that on a show? 0.99

00:40:25.000 Yeah, he did, yeah.

00:40:26.000 That's right, on Insomniac.

00:40:28.000 He went nutria hunting.

00:40:30.000 It's bad out here, man.

00:40:31.000 It's bad.

00:40:31.000 We got it in New York, but you guys got it real bad.

00:40:34.000 You ain't seen shit until you go downtown. 0.99

00:40:36.000 Downtown LA makes everything. 0.98

00:40:38.000 Every underpass in LA now, you're subject to see tents.

00:40:43.000 They're all over the place.

00:40:44.000 All over through the valley.

00:40:45.000 Homeless people in LA and New York are pretty friendly, though.

00:40:49.000 They're not that aggressive.

00:40:50.000 I was in Seattle. 1.00

00:40:51.000 Those fuckers will come up to you and they will go at you. 1.00

00:40:55.000 They want money. 1.00

00:40:56.000 If you don't give them money, they will give you an attitude about it.

00:41:00.000 Everywhere else. 0.94

00:41:01.000 Cleveland, horrible homeless.

00:41:03.000 Every other city besides New York.

00:41:05.000 Sam Fran?

00:41:06.000 Yeah.

00:41:06.000 Sam Fran, it's like...

00:41:07.000 Aggressive. 1.00

00:41:08.000 The Canadian homeless are the shittiest and most aggressive. 1.00

00:41:11.000 Do you remember this when you were a kid? 0.97

00:41:12.000 How much homelessness was around? 0.98

00:41:14.000 When we were kids, you would see those boxes on the side of the road, and it was usually someone who was so fucked up that, you know, they just couldn't go anywhere, and they'd have a box, and they smelled like shit, and they were covered up. 0.98

00:41:26.000 But we're seeing, like, different levels of homelessness. 0.99

00:41:28.000 Did you grow up suburban?

00:41:29.000 Yeah.

00:41:29.000 Yeah, I mean, I grew up in Brooklyn.

00:41:32.000 I saw homeless people all the time, but I never saw anything, and I haven't seen it in person, but I've never seen anything like the camps and stuff that I've seen.

00:41:38.000 Like, that's insane.

00:41:40.000 Yeah, that's the new thing.

00:41:41.000 Yeah, that's what's new.

00:41:42.000 It's like the underpasses too.

00:41:43.000 When I first started coming here in 94, there was never any tents on the underpasses.

00:41:48.000 At least I don't remember them being.

00:41:49.000 I think now there's like almost, some people think it's cool.

00:41:52.000 I live in East Village, New York, and there is so many just kids that you're like, you're a phone call away from like solving this problem.

00:42:00.000 Like you kind of want to be out here like... 0.95

00:42:03.000 They're always there by NYU and shit. 0.85

00:42:06.000 It's literally like some... 0.99

00:42:07.000 It's the heroin kids.

00:42:08.000 They all look like punk rockers. 0.94

00:42:09.000 20-year-old, 19-year-old white kids who are clearly on drugs. 0.56

00:42:13.000 Now it's like 20, though.

00:42:14.000 It's a group of 20. That's what I'm saying.

00:42:15.000 But I don't think that those kids are a phone... 0.98

00:42:17.000 I bet you those kids are from really, really fucked up situations at home and they're into drugs. 0.97

00:42:21.000 Some. 1.00

00:42:22.000 I think more often than not, they're probably dealing with some fucked up shit at home. 0.99

00:42:25.000 You don't end up on the streets to rebel against your good mom and dad most of the time. 0.99

00:42:30.000 I'm sure it happens.

00:42:31.000 Also watching a guy like, you know, who just looks like as cruddy as homeless can be, like charging his phone on one of those stations is pretty funny.

00:42:39.000 Well, that's what we have in New York.

00:42:41.000 Where's your address for billing?

00:42:43.000 Yeah.

00:42:43.000 How is this working?

00:42:44.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:42:45.000 A lot of those kids have that, too.

00:42:46.000 Yeah, who's billing?

00:42:47.000 How's Verizon get you the bill every month?

00:42:49.000 There's no prepaid bill.

00:42:50.000 What they installed in New York is on every corner now they have like a big station, right?

00:42:55.000 And on that station you could do literally free phone calls.

00:42:57.000 You could just dial a number.

00:42:58.000 It's a speakerphone phone call.

00:43:00.000 You could charge your phone.

00:43:01.000 And it's like a Wi-Fi station.

00:43:03.000 So everyone on the street has Wi-Fi in New York.

00:43:05.000 And you're like, this is a great idea.

00:43:07.000 Except now there's always a homeless person literally plugged into it.

00:43:11.000 And that's now their power source for their little homeless thing.

00:43:14.000 When they had the screens, they were jerking off outside.

00:43:17.000 They had to take the screens out of them.

00:43:18.000 They took the screens off.

00:43:19.000 There was about a week after they came out where you'd see regular people using them.

00:43:23.000 And now it's only homeless people.

00:43:25.000 Nobody else touches them.

00:43:28.000 If you had to look at a graph of all the crimes that were committed using burner phones, like 7-Eleven burner phones, how many 7-Eleven burner phones are used by poor people and how many of them are used to commit crimes? 0.99

00:43:43.000 Like, serious espionage shit. 0.97

00:43:45.000 Like, there's no in between. 0.99

00:43:46.000 Like, what is the...

00:43:47.000 I bet you there's a big old road.

00:43:48.000 Yeah, bridge kids and international spies. 0.99

00:43:50.000 A fucking giant international crime tool that goes unreported. 0.99

00:43:55.000 Burner phones. 1.00

00:43:55.000 Like, 7-Eleven burner phones. 1.00

00:43:57.000 We get it.

00:43:57.000 It's in the plastic.

00:43:58.000 You pop it open.

00:43:59.000 It's got an hour in it. 1.00

00:44:01.000 What the fuck? 1.00

00:44:02.000 Who the fuck is using those things? 1.00

00:44:05.000 Some of them are poor people. 0.99

00:44:06.000 I think it's getting more and more exclusively criminal.

00:44:09.000 It's like leaving an airplane.

00:44:12.000 If you buy a 7-Eleven phone, you're on a list.

00:44:14.000 You could go to Verizon and get a bottom-of-the-line phone that's affordable, that's better than anything that existed five years ago.

00:44:22.000 Where technology is now, you don't have to spend...

00:44:24.000 What's a cheap Android phone?

00:44:28.000 Oh yeah, you go to MetroPCS right now, get a free Android phone, sign up for $40, and you're out the door, and then you never have to pay it again, because it's prepaid.

00:44:38.000 Yeah, so you just have a certain amount of minutes, right?

00:44:40.000 Well, no, it's unlimited.

00:44:42.000 I have a metric PCS, guys.

00:44:44.000 And so if you're a homeless...

00:44:46.000 My friends make fun of me.

00:44:47.000 Do you have the general insurance, too?

00:44:48.000 You just do everything.

00:44:49.000 It's a phone call.

00:44:51.000 Hey, I pay six...

00:44:52.000 Oh, it's online, right?

00:44:53.000 It's online.

00:44:54.000 $60 a month, I get everything unlimited. 1.00

00:44:56.000 Fuck off. 1.00

00:44:56.000 I don't understand why I would ever switch besides for the fact that my friends make fun of me. 1.00

00:45:01.000 So your phone works in places?

00:45:02.000 It works everywhere.

00:45:03.000 Yeah.

00:45:04.000 You're doing some sort of a roaming thing, I guess.

00:45:06.000 No, there's no roaming.

00:45:07.000 There's no overages, nothing.

00:45:09.000 It's just better. 0.96

00:45:10.000 It really sounds like we're doing a fucking ad read for MetroPTS right now. 0.98

00:45:13.000 It's one of the UFC sponsors. 0.98

00:45:14.000 I know it is. 1.00

00:45:15.000 But people make fun of you like you're hot garbage. 0.99

00:45:18.000 You've got to not tell people. 0.99

00:45:20.000 People can't handle the truth.

00:45:22.000 Any time I screenshot something, it says MetroPCS in the corner.

00:45:25.000 I can't post pictures on Instagram.

00:45:27.000 You scratch it out and put Boost Mobile.

00:45:30.000 It's not even that much better.

00:45:31.000 There's certain things that even if they're great, they're embarrassing.

00:45:34.000 Oh, yeah.

00:45:35.000 Right?

00:45:35.000 Even if they're great, it's embarrassing that it's great.

00:45:38.000 Like, I think Hyundai has a problem with these new cars that they're making, so they start calling them the Genesis.

00:45:44.000 They stopped calling them Hyundais.

00:45:46.000 Because people are like, no, no, Hyundai's that car that costs, it's real cheap, but it runs forever.

00:45:50.000 That's a Hyundai.

00:45:50.000 They're like, no, no, no, Hyundai's luxury.

00:45:52.000 We got this luxury.

00:45:52.000 And they're like, nope, nope, can't have both.

00:45:54.000 Yeah, they got grounded.

00:45:56.000 Yeah, MetroPCS, even if it's the best service.

00:45:59.000 You know, like, the problem is, like, anytime anything's a bargain, even if it really is a great deal, and Metro PCS seems like a great deal, it does, like, anytime when things are a bargain, people don't want it. 0.93

00:46:11.000 Like, some people want the shit that costs a lot and it's hard to get.

00:46:13.000 Yeah, when I was a kid, I remember I would, I just wouldn't get sneakers that weren't like Nikes or like, Even if they were comfortable sneakers, even if they were more expensive, it didn't matter. 0.99

00:46:24.000 You felt like a loser. 1.00

00:46:25.000 Yeah, I felt like a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:46:27.000 You're like a rebel if you went Adidas. 1.00

00:46:30.000 Now you wear grocery store sneakers? 1.00

00:46:32.000 I don't give a shit now. 0.99

00:46:34.000 It's funny how important it is when you're younger, though. 0.99

00:46:36.000 It's very important.

00:46:38.000 Because anything that could get you just ridiculed when you were young, you had to be always conscious of.

00:46:44.000 You had to always be aware of what could fuck up your day.

00:46:47.000 There's not enough of a delineation between shitty stuff and the mid-range stuff, but I think high-end stuff tends to be better quality. 0.97

00:46:54.000 I used to always shit on that with clothing and stuff. 0.97

00:46:57.000 My ex-wife, I remember, was talking about how much she spent on a purse, which I said is ridiculous. 0.99

00:47:02.000 But it lasts forever.

00:47:04.000 And to some degree, I still think it's ridiculous to do that for a purse, but my point is paying for the quality does last longer.

00:47:09.000 It's better.

00:47:09.000 Things are made better sometimes.

00:47:10.000 But the difference between a knockoff... 0.99

00:47:14.000 Fucking Louis Vuitton bag and a bag you'd buy in a store is not much difference. 0.99

00:47:19.000 Yeah, it's not like a fake Ferrari. 0.99

00:47:20.000 Right, yeah, exactly.

00:47:21.000 There's a huge difference between those bags, I think.

00:47:23.000 I don't remember this being a thing.

00:47:24.000 My dad used to...

00:47:26.000 He's into fashion.

00:47:28.000 I'm just saying, like, the stitching.

00:47:30.000 I mean, I did a chick who was a fashion chick. 0.98

00:47:32.000 Yeah, there's definitely a huge difference between those bags.

00:47:34.000 Yeah.

00:47:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:37.000 I'm just saying, the difference between one you'd buy at JCPenney versus a shitty one you'd buy on the street, there's not much difference in quality in that.

00:47:44.000 You might as well just buy the fake Louis Vuitton. 0.63

00:47:47.000 Yeah, but if you were a kid and you didn't have a good name brand sneaker, you were shamed and embarrassed.

00:47:54.000 Yeah.

00:47:54.000 They call them the Bobos.

00:47:55.000 I had Voits, I remember.

00:47:57.000 When I was in the sixth grade, there were Voits, and that was the last shitty sneaker I ever had.

00:48:01.000 It was just V-O-I-T. Got them at C.H. Martin's, which was this, I mean, as shitty of a department store as you could possibly get, and kids would just make fun of your shitty sneakers. 0.98

00:48:11.000 It was terrible. 0.99

00:48:12.000 I had Lottos.

00:48:13.000 I had Lottos that had Velcro on the side that you could change the Lottos symbol to different colors.

00:48:18.000 Lottos? 1.00

00:48:18.000 Like a fat fucking cheerleader. 1.00

00:48:20.000 I was dressed like a cheerleader. 1.00

00:48:21.000 They changed the colors to go up my school spirit.

00:48:24.000 If you were a runner, maybe you'd get away with New Balance.

00:48:29.000 Yeah, there were people who wore New Balance when I was in high school.

00:48:32.000 New Balance is like, okay, it's okay, you're an alternative.

00:48:34.000 It's a good quality shoe.

00:48:36.000 Marvin Hagler used to wear them.

00:48:39.000 If you had Asics gels, people thought you had an arch problem.

00:48:41.000 Or you were a wrestler.

00:48:43.000 Asics, yeah. 0.99

00:48:45.000 Wrestlers love Asics wrestling shoes.

00:48:47.000 By the time high school came around, I knew well enough to just change my style. 0.96

00:48:53.000 So I'd start around like Airwalks and those shitty skaters. 0.95

00:48:55.000 They were like 45 bucks a pop. 0.97

00:48:57.000 Ah, good move.

00:48:57.000 Yeah, that was very smart.

00:48:59.000 So I was a big Jenko Jean guy.

00:49:00.000 Well, Converse Chucks never went out of style.

00:49:03.000 Never.

00:49:03.000 They never went out of style.

00:49:05.000 Also never been comfortable.

00:49:06.000 I love them!

00:49:07.000 You think they're comfortable?

00:49:08.000 I have them, but they're not comfortable.

00:49:10.000 I don't like smooshy shoes that much.

00:49:13.000 Sometimes I do.

00:49:14.000 But most of the times I like it where it's very little rubber.

00:49:17.000 That's all it is.

00:49:19.000 Imagine that those guys played basketball in those things back in the day.

00:49:21.000 It's kind of crazy.

00:49:22.000 Yeah, that's weird.

00:49:23.000 It doesn't seem like a lot of support.

00:49:24.000 But maybe they had stronger ankles that way or something.

00:49:27.000 My mom tried to convince me that Chucks were cool, and she was right, but this was when I was in the sixth grade. 1.00

00:49:32.000 Oh, they weren't cool?

00:49:33.000 It wasn't.

00:49:33.000 No, this was when Chucks had, you know, Converse was at the absolute bottom.

00:49:38.000 They fucking, something happened. 0.99

00:49:39.000 Well, here's the thing. 0.99

00:49:40.000 It became cool again.

00:49:41.000 But it's not, I think I feel like Chuck Taylors.

00:49:43.000 Because it was 27 bucks.

00:49:44.000 I feel like Chuck Taylors were always in style.

00:49:46.000 A little bit.

00:49:47.000 Converse.

00:49:48.000 Like, just as a general brand. 0.99

00:49:49.000 If you had just Converse sneakers, dude, you looked like a jerk-off. 0.98

00:49:53.000 Wait, there was a difference? 1.00

00:49:53.000 Your family better be poor as shit. 1.00

00:49:56.000 You better have other problems, like, with your pants and shirt before we even get to those Converse sneakers. 1.00

00:50:00.000 Wait, was there a difference?

00:50:01.000 But this was a dark period of time, but that period of time's gone.

00:50:05.000 Right?

00:50:05.000 They have dope leather and suede ones.

00:50:09.000 Sure.

00:50:09.000 They have all kinds of different...

00:50:10.000 Who's that guy that can do those?

00:50:11.000 Now it's like the look.

00:50:12.000 Now it's like the look.

00:50:13.000 So if someone makes...

00:50:13.000 I mean, feel us back somehow.

00:50:15.000 Fat-tongue feel us. 0.99

00:50:17.000 And they're back for kids.

00:50:18.000 Yeah.

00:50:19.000 Like, for kids, is there one, we don't know, we're so out of the loop, but is there one brand that's like, is it still Nike?

00:50:25.000 Nike and Jordans still, yeah.

00:50:26.000 My daughter's 17, so yeah.

00:50:28.000 So Jordans.

00:50:29.000 Yeah, Nike, Timberlands my kid has.

00:50:32.000 Sure, yeah, if it's Boots, it's Timberlands.

00:50:35.000 Jordans has got to be like the most successful sneaker campaign in the history of the known universe, right?

00:50:39.000 Oh yeah, yeah, without a doubt.

00:50:40.000 There's nothing that has the kind of cachet as a Jordans.

00:50:43.000 The only thing I'd say maybe, probably, that sells more than the Jordan is the Air Force One, but they're per unit cheaper.

00:50:49.000 That's him too, though, right?

00:50:50.000 That's still Michael Jordan's Nike.

00:50:52.000 That's just Nike. 0.82

00:50:52.000 But I think Air Force One, I think of him. 0.82

00:50:55.000 No, the Air Force Ones are basic.

00:50:58.000 Oh, it's mine.

00:51:00.000 Doesn't the Air Force One have a dude flying through the air, Duncan?

00:51:03.000 No.

00:51:04.000 That's just the Jordan.

00:51:05.000 I'm so white. 1.00

00:51:06.000 Nikes are fucking uncomfortable. 0.99

00:51:08.000 Every time I wear Nikes, they hurt my feet. 0.99

00:51:10.000 I don't like them.

00:51:11.000 That's too vague a statement.

00:51:13.000 These are, what are these?

00:51:15.000 You're into skate shoes, right?

00:51:16.000 Minimalist, sort of.

00:51:17.000 Yeah, there we go.

00:51:18.000 I love those kind of shoes.

00:51:21.000 And then I wear New Balance.

00:51:23.000 I wear New Balance a lot.

00:51:25.000 Yeah.

00:51:25.000 Like an old white guy.

00:51:26.000 Yeah, that's a wide foot shoe.

00:51:28.000 Yeah.

00:51:28.000 You're taking a bold risk when you wear those five finger shoes.

00:51:31.000 Even though they're good for you.

00:51:32.000 Oh, those things?

00:51:33.000 Are those good?

00:51:33.000 I've never put a pair on.

00:51:34.000 Yeah, they're great.

00:51:35.000 To walk around in life, though, or just at the gym?

00:51:37.000 My friend Kyle Kingsbury does it, but he's also a gorilla.

00:51:41.000 He's an enormous guy.

00:51:42.000 So he's daring you to say that, or he's going to climb a tree?

00:51:44.000 No, he's a super nice guy, but he's a former UFC fighter.

00:51:46.000 Super nice guy. 0.99

00:51:47.000 He wears those fucking five finger shoes everywhere. 0.99

00:51:49.000 I follow Kyle on Instagram. 1.00

00:51:50.000 He's hilarious.

00:51:51.000 He's great.

00:51:52.000 Great, great.

00:51:52.000 Great guy.

00:51:53.000 Is he a white guy?

00:51:53.000 Yeah.

00:51:54.000 I say it only.

00:51:55.000 There was a thing I saw.

00:51:57.000 Married a ring girl, right?

00:51:58.000 What's her name?

00:51:59.000 Natasha.

00:52:00.000 Yeah, smoking.

00:52:00.000 There was a clip the other week of two guys, two black guys at a tow truck company, I think it is, that start filming this white guy that called them gorillas.

00:52:09.000 But the white guy backing down as they're coming at him.

00:52:12.000 And it's so funny why this guy would have said this.

00:52:15.000 I almost believe the white guy's excuse, but he is lost. 0.54

00:52:19.000 I guess he said something like, have one of these two gorillas bring it around. 0.99

00:52:22.000 They're big guys, so he definitely kind of meant it like that, but it just doesn't look good.

00:52:26.000 So him trying to explain to the guy, like, you call me and my black friends here gorillas.

00:52:31.000 He's like... 0.57

00:52:32.000 No, I meant like strong guy, but he just goes... 0.99

00:52:34.000 My dentist is a black fella. 1.00

00:52:37.000 He just starts giving... 0.99

00:52:38.000 He starts doing...

00:52:38.000 He goes, now that's where you're going wrong, brother.

00:52:41.000 Talking about your dentist being black. 0.91

00:52:43.000 Dentist is also... 0.99

00:52:44.000 My mailman's a black fella. 1.00

00:52:45.000 He comes around. 0.98

00:52:46.000 That's way too far removed.

00:52:47.000 That's not even...

00:52:47.000 I've high-fived him several times.

00:52:49.000 Yeah, I don't even believe him.

00:52:52.000 Is that the thing I brought out?

00:52:53.000 Yeah.

00:52:53.000 A little later.

00:52:54.000 Yes, I do.

00:52:55.000 This one over here.

00:52:56.000 Sweet.

00:52:58.000 Sweet.

00:53:00.000 So, uh, I saw the thing where Milo said you guys cucked out on the show the first time.

00:53:05.000 That's why we're going hard on new balances this time.

00:53:08.000 It was worth it to have Ari. 1.00

00:53:09.000 When Ari said fuck you to all three of us, it was the hardest I laughed. 1.00

00:53:12.000 And then he goes, fuck you! 1.00

00:53:15.000 Ari is a fucking national treasure. 1.00

00:53:18.000 He really is. 0.99

00:53:19.000 Dude, Ari at Skankfest, so Rich Voss and Bonnie McFarlane do a show where they, it's called Would You Bang Him, and they have like four or five female comedians on stage, and then a male comedian comes out and does a set, and at the end of it, the girls have to decide whether or not they would fuck him based off of a multitude of things and the set, 0.98

00:53:35.000 right? 0.94

00:53:36.000 So Ari does his... 0.75

00:53:37.000 He just gets naked.

00:53:39.000 He literally takes his clothes off and is like, oh, I'm doing it. 1.00

00:53:41.000 And then he starts chasing the female comedians around the stage with his dick and trying to hit them. 1.00

00:53:46.000 Hold on. 1.00

00:53:46.000 Listen. 1.00

00:53:47.000 Listen.

00:53:47.000 Before you say anything more, just be aware that other people are going to listen to this.

00:53:53.000 Wait, people are listening?

00:53:55.000 He's like, got it.

00:53:56.000 Then he held her down against her will for ten minutes.

00:53:58.000 Thanks for the heads up, Joe.

00:54:00.000 No, this is on camera.

00:54:01.000 This is not a made-up thing.

00:54:03.000 No, it was all part of the theatrical performance.

00:54:05.000 This was planned and agreed to and consented in advance.

00:54:10.000 Cabaret.

00:54:11.000 So he's chasing these girls around.

00:54:14.000 But not really.

00:54:14.000 Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

00:54:15.000 Because he could catch them if he was really chasing them.

00:54:17.000 Oh, obviously.

00:54:18.000 He's a man. 0.98

00:54:19.000 Short little woman legs. 0.98

00:54:21.000 Oh my goodness. 0.98

00:54:22.000 Short little woman legs. 1.00

00:54:24.000 So he's chasing them around the stage with his dick and Louis C.K. is there watching from the sidelines and he goes, I'm the problem? 1.00

00:54:32.000 I think it did a lot to let Louis know he was in a safe space.

00:54:36.000 Yes.

00:54:37.000 You're okay here.

00:54:38.000 You're fine here.

00:54:39.000 A lot of people got their panties in a bunch when, no pun intended, when he went on stage.

00:54:45.000 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:54:46.000 Dude, his set was fucking killer. 0.99

00:54:48.000 No one's paying very much there. 0.99

00:54:49.000 And the crowd was so happy to see him there, man.

00:54:50.000 Yeah, man.

00:54:51.000 And I mean, people outside of the people that were there, some people never, I mean, maybe they feel that the guy didn't do what they wanted him to do, but I mean, how long do you want someone to suffer?

00:55:01.000 Well, the bummer is also the venue saying that their workers were afraid to stop it or do anything about it and that they were upset. 0.98

00:55:09.000 It's bullshit. 0.97

00:55:10.000 The workers were ecstatic. 1.00

00:55:11.000 They were jumping.

00:55:12.000 You almost have to say that.

00:55:13.000 They were jumping around.

00:55:14.000 They didn't, though, because a business doesn't need to have an opinion.

00:55:17.000 They could just not say anything for two days.

00:55:19.000 Nobody was going after this venue and going like, oh, you need to release a statement. 0.99

00:55:23.000 Nobody give a fuck. 0.98

00:55:24.000 This is all new territory for businesses. 0.98

00:55:27.000 You have to understand that the idea of reacting to a journalist is not new, but the idea of reacting to thousands and thousands of people who make comments on your Instagram page, that is new.

00:55:37.000 And for a business that's, you know...

00:55:41.000 That's a big deal.

00:55:43.000 They're worried about being boycotted.

00:55:45.000 But that's not what happened.

00:55:46.000 But the people who are pissed off that Louie's there, those people will not...

00:55:51.000 They will boycott.

00:55:52.000 They will tweet every day.

00:55:54.000 Their thing is to try to ruin someone.

00:55:57.000 For committing a woke crime or whatever. 0.99

00:56:00.000 So that's what they deal with, is that people like us, who are like, eh, that sucks that they fucking wrote that letter. 0.98

00:56:06.000 We don't do anything. 0.99

00:56:07.000 We're not boycotting because they wrote that letter. 0.98

00:56:10.000 The other side isn't putting as much pressure on them, and that's why all these companies, that's why Gillette's making those razor commercials and shit, because they're scared of that side. 0.92

00:56:18.000 Did you see the Gillette razor commercial where they, is it the Gillette one where the two firemen kiss? 0.96

00:56:24.000 I don't think I saw that one.

00:56:26.000 Maybe it's Blue Cross.

00:56:29.000 It was the commercial. 1.00

00:56:30.000 It's the fucking Army National Guard. 0.99

00:56:32.000 It was one of those JS companies where two firemen, I wrote it down. 1.00

00:56:36.000 Shit. 1.00

00:56:37.000 It was a commercial. 1.00

00:56:38.000 Who are you going for? 0.98

00:56:40.000 Do you think gay guys are going to go, you know what, we want to fight fires now. 1.00

00:56:43.000 But it was like, I get it, you're progressive. 0.74

00:56:45.000 It's like this... 0.99

00:56:46.000 God damn it. 0.99

00:56:47.000 I want to know what the commercial is. 0.99

00:56:49.000 Isn't it like, dude, if you buy into that, like, oh my god, I'm so happy this company is woke, you're just a mark.

00:56:57.000 They're just taking advantage of you.

00:56:58.000 They're just trying to make money off of you.

00:56:59.000 Sort of, but it's also hot. 1.00

00:57:01.000 There's like a hot fireman and his hot boyfriend, and they're making out, and the guy comes back from a fire, and he's ready to get some dick, right? 0.99

00:57:10.000 Holla. 0.99

00:57:11.000 It looks fun.

00:57:12.000 He's a hero. 0.99

00:57:12.000 As long as it's not lesbians. 0.99

00:57:13.000 They're trying to sell you insurance, or whatever the fuck they're selling. 1.00

00:57:16.000 I don't remember who did the commercial, but I remember saying, oh, okay, we're being progressive. 0.98

00:57:21.000 I love it.

00:57:22.000 Why not? 0.99

00:57:22.000 I don't give a shit. 0.99

00:57:24.000 Go for it. 0.99

00:57:24.000 I just find it weird. 0.99

00:57:25.000 I find it strange, the woke capitalism thing, that people, that companies...

00:57:30.000 We'll take a position that you think would turn off like 50% of the people who buy from them.

00:57:35.000 But they do it to prove their, I don't know, goodness.

00:57:39.000 Yeah.

00:57:39.000 But it doesn't hurt.

00:57:41.000 Does it hurt? 1.00

00:57:41.000 Like, does anybody go, fuck Blue Cross. 1.00

00:57:43.000 I'm getting my fucking insurance from that hot Spanish broad. 1.00

00:57:46.000 People are lazy. 1.00

00:57:47.000 Whatever the cheapest option is, they're buying that.

00:57:49.000 It's like the Equinox thing that just happened. 0.95

00:57:51.000 Nobody's fucking leaving Equinox. 0.95

00:57:52.000 Let me tell you something. 0.98

00:57:53.000 There's no other option.

00:57:54.000 It's convenient. 1.00

00:57:55.000 You got your fucking gym membership. 1.00

00:57:56.000 A handful of people are virtue signaling. 1.00

00:57:58.000 Do you know... 0.97

00:57:59.000 But all the people complaining saying boycott Equinox online, they're not fucking Equinox members. 1.00

00:58:03.000 They're fucking fat. 0.99

00:58:03.000 Why do you call us a boycott Equinox? 0.99

00:58:06.000 Because one of the owners was a Trump supporter.

00:58:08.000 He gave money to Trump.

00:58:09.000 Oh, that's right.

00:58:10.000 He held a fundraiser last week for Trump.

00:58:13.000 So people were freaking out.

00:58:15.000 Saying to boycott the brand, but it's like, where else are you going to go?

00:58:18.000 There's not another high-end gym that's all over the place like that.

00:58:21.000 Do you have to have the exact same political beliefs as someone who runs a business?

00:58:26.000 It's like, if I go to buy a sandwich, do I have to go like, so where were you on the Iraq war?

00:58:30.000 No?

00:58:30.000 Okay.

00:58:31.000 I want to say, do you know a company that preys on your laziness is the insurance that you get through SAG-AFTRA? Mm-hmm.

00:58:38.000 Like, you know, you get it for free if you qualify, and then when you don't qualify for it, you're still enrolled in it, and it's, like, the most expensive insurance.

00:58:47.000 Does that make sense?

00:58:48.000 You know what I mean?

00:58:48.000 And they kind of got me almost in that way, where a year where it wasn't taken care of, I was like, well, I don't want to switch out and then have any doctors, you know what I mean?

00:58:56.000 Like, be different.

00:58:57.000 So they kind of get you like that.

00:58:59.000 Dude, this Trump thing is that if you support anything that he does, even just his business practices, then you're racist. 0.76

00:59:05.000 Like, everything that you support, if he supports it, you're racist. 0.97

00:59:09.000 Yeah, it's crazy. 0.97

00:59:10.000 You're a Nazi, you're racist, and when somebody calls you a racist or a Nazi, even people that don't believe that, they don't want to stand with you and defend you, because then they're being perceived as defending a racist or a Nazi, and it's a trick, and it's very effective. 0.99

00:59:22.000 It's a juicy soap opera. 0.98

00:59:23.000 I don't know why this guy supports Trump, but maybe he could explain it.

00:59:28.000 He's a real estate guy.

00:59:29.000 He's a big real estate guy, related properties.

00:59:32.000 It has nothing to do with his gym.

00:59:33.000 This has to do with the fact that he probably has real estate deals for a very, very long time with Trump.

00:59:38.000 And his gym is inconsequential compared to the billion dollar company that he runs.

00:59:43.000 Well, that makes sense then.

00:59:45.000 That makes sense why he would support Trump, especially if he knows Trump.

00:59:48.000 But if you can't see that, I mean, if you have a problem with that, and many people would, right?

00:59:55.000 Many people would have a problem with that.

00:59:57.000 Like, that's a different thing.

00:59:58.000 But if you hear what people are saying, they're saying if you support Trump, that you support racists. 0.93

01:00:06.000 You support white nationalists.

01:00:08.000 And I think you're leaving so many people out of the conversation when you do that.

01:00:12.000 Oh, yeah.

01:00:13.000 I mean, the guy got, what was it, 62 million people to vote for him.

01:00:16.000 So if you're saying anyone who supports him is some type of Nazi white nationalist, then we got bigger problems.

01:00:22.000 But you're saying the whole country should break up.

01:00:24.000 No one knows the definition of those things anymore.

01:00:26.000 When Milo used to talk about Milo, when he came on, the things he was called that just, like, on paper couldn't even apply to be.

01:00:32.000 Would never be accepted into being a Nazi or a white supremacist.

01:00:36.000 Do you guys remember when we were kids we read about McCarthyism and the Red Scare?

01:00:42.000 We always thought, like, God, we're past that. 0.98

01:00:45.000 That kind of shit's never going to happen again. 0.98

01:00:46.000 But what that is is like a symptom of people worried about people defecting from their tribe or turning on their tribe. 1.00

01:00:53.000 And we have this, like, built-in fear of this kind of shit happening. 0.98

01:00:58.000 Well, there's that aspect to it, right? 0.99

01:00:59.000 It's the people who are worried about people defecting.

01:01:01.000 And then you have the opportunists who can play off that and go, instead of having to win an argument or having to convince people, I'm just going to say, you're with the other tribe.

01:01:11.000 You're in this bad group.

01:01:13.000 So don't even talk to that person anymore.

01:01:15.000 Don't even listen to what they have to say. 1.00

01:01:17.000 And if you're in one tribe on every issue, you're a fucking dolt. 1.00

01:01:20.000 That's what I was going to say. 1.00

01:01:20.000 Why do you have to be so defined by your tribe? 1.00

01:01:22.000 You know what I mean?

01:01:23.000 Like...

01:01:23.000 I would love to hear the argument about what it does good for him for his real estate ventures.

01:01:30.000 I would love to hear it like an honestly laid out argument of why someone like Trump's better if you're a real estate developer and it might be a significant part of his business.

01:01:38.000 I'm not being an apologizer for the guy.

01:01:56.000 I don't know.

01:01:57.000 I don't think this is necessarily just bad people that have a lot of money. 0.98

01:02:00.000 I think that there's a lot of good people that have a lot of money as well, and I think they do a lot of good shit. 0.78

01:02:04.000 Well, I just, you know, whenever someone gets really upset about an issue, you always have to wonder, like, how much of it going in there was, I mean, what is upsetting to you? 0.99

01:02:16.000 Is it upsetting to you that anyone who supports Trump, like, Trump represents all the things that are wrong with America today in terms like white nationalists and terrorist attacks and mass shootings and... 0.90

01:02:28.000 Misogyny. 0.93

01:02:29.000 Yeah, misogyny, keeping the immigrants out and being mean and being America first. 1.00

01:02:34.000 Like, fuck, it's, uh... 1.00

01:02:37.000 It's one of those things today where if you support any part of that, even if it's good for your business, you're just a magnet for fucking people who are angry at all the things. 1.00

01:02:48.000 Well, that whole list was ridiculous. 0.99

01:02:49.000 It was like Chick-fil-A, McDonald's, like, yeah, man. 0.96

01:02:52.000 Big businesses?

01:02:54.000 Big successful businesses?

01:02:55.000 Surprise, surprise.

01:02:57.000 Light bulbs.

01:02:58.000 The number's crazy, right?

01:02:59.000 Electricity.

01:03:01.000 A lot of big businesses support Trump.

01:03:05.000 But isn't it so weird how people project their own thing onto the situation?

01:03:10.000 Because even like that, you just said what everyone hates about Trump.

01:03:12.000 But the people who support Trump, they're not even on the other side of those issues.

01:03:16.000 It's not like they're like, no, we are pro-white nationalists.

01:03:18.000 They just see him as a completely different thing.

01:03:20.000 They're like making the country great and jobs and draining the swamp and all these other things.

01:03:26.000 People are looking at the same thing and seeing very different realities.

01:03:31.000 Yeah, they are.

01:03:32.000 And people are going in with their preconceived bias and getting them confirmed.

01:03:37.000 Even with the way you looked at the Mueller report, the Republicans looked at it as a victory and the Democrats looked at it as some sort of an open door to impeachment.

01:03:49.000 Yeah, but that was, I don't know.

01:03:50.000 If the thing starts off with every day you're hearing on the news that the president is colluding with a hostile foreign power, he's a Russian puppet, he's working with Vladimir Putin, and then by the end you're like, we have to impeach him because he thought about obstructing the investigation that he was declared not guilty,

01:04:07.000 and it's like, this is getting weird.

01:04:09.000 You guys were going to be upset no matter what you found.

01:04:12.000 100%.

01:04:12.000 Dave loves Trump.

01:04:13.000 It's what I'm trying to say.

01:04:15.000 Sounds like he does.

01:04:16.000 I'm going hard Nazi this time. 0.81

01:04:19.000 I'm not coming back on the show.

01:04:20.000 I'm going hard this time. 0.98

01:04:22.000 The fucked up part is only having really two choices. 0.97

01:04:26.000 Like we're scrambling to see who's choice number two. 0.97

01:04:28.000 Who's going to be the one that opposes Trump?

01:04:30.000 And you're seeing people starting to crack under pressure.

01:04:33.000 Like re-entry pressure.

01:04:36.000 They're trying to figure out who's going to be.

01:04:38.000 Ben Glebe.

01:04:39.000 Maybe.

01:04:40.000 Imagine.

01:04:40.000 Imagine we all doubted him.

01:04:43.000 If he gets through and becomes president, we'll be fucked. 0.99

01:04:47.000 When you look at the people that are in line, though, does anybody stand out that you would think would be able to... 0.99

01:04:53.000 Well, I don't know how much of a realistic shot, but who I... I love Tulsi Gabbard.

01:04:59.000 I sent her money twice already. 1.00

01:05:00.000 And I disagree with her on like 80% of her shit. 0.99

01:05:02.000 She's a real interesting person. 1.00

01:05:04.000 She really is.

01:05:05.000 And she's dead on about the war stuff, and she's, you know...

01:05:08.000 Yeah, about Medicare.

01:05:10.000 She's dead on about a lot of things.

01:05:12.000 She's kind of hot. 1.00

01:05:13.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:05:14.000 Dave didn't agree with something about Medicare? 1.00

01:05:17.000 No, I don't like her Medicare stuff, but the most important thing that she leads with is the war stuff.

01:05:22.000 And she's got a great position where she did two tours in Iraq. 0.91

01:05:26.000 She's still active duty.

01:05:28.000 And so, you know, like the normal...

01:05:42.000 What did she do? 0.80

01:05:45.000 What was her job over there though?

01:05:47.000 Oh, it was serious.

01:05:48.000 She was in a medical unit.

01:05:49.000 So she was like dealing with the people who actually seen the worst part.

01:05:54.000 But not like infantry, though.

01:05:54.000 No, she was making breakfast.

01:05:57.000 She was dealing with the results of infantry.

01:05:59.000 Was it Edge of Tomorrow?

01:06:01.000 Was it Tom Cruise?

01:06:03.000 It was her job to clean up the DVDs.

01:06:05.000 That's a hot subject, right?

01:06:07.000 Women in combat. 1.00

01:06:08.000 I got a bunch of shit about making jokes about saying I don't understand what a girl... 1.00

01:06:13.000 I watch the show Cops a lot, and I don't understand what a girl cop has ever done in a situation that's hostile except for make the perp get much more hurt, shot, or tased because she's in the way of it happening. 0.99

01:06:26.000 And people got really upset about me saying that, but it really...

01:06:30.000 I don't understand why you'd send a woman to a major fight happening at the mall.

01:06:34.000 Get down there, ladies. 1.00

01:06:35.000 It really is like a bizarre...

01:06:37.000 The physical...

01:06:38.000 With some cops...

01:06:41.000 The physical aspect of an altercation is going to be a real problem.

01:06:46.000 For males and females.

01:06:49.000 It doesn't have to be a female thing. 1.00

01:06:51.000 You can just say you can't have a 110-pound person go and be the physical authority in a situation that can go over the top.

01:06:58.000 No, but if you're a 110-pound guy, I'm going to call you a chick. 1.00

01:07:00.000 Exactly. 0.84

01:07:02.000 There's a terrible video of this guy getting pulled over by this lady and his daughter is in the car and the guy was a criminal apparently and the lady cop was calling it in and the guy punches her and gets her down on the ground.

01:07:15.000 She knocks her out close. 1.00

01:07:16.000 It's an old video.

01:07:17.000 Yeah. 0.94

01:07:18.000 And starts punching her face. 0.93

01:07:19.000 And the daughter's screaming, stop it daddy, stop it daddy. 1.00

01:07:22.000 And he beats the fuck out of this lady cop. 1.00

01:07:24.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:07:24.000 And you're like, this is why it's a problem. 0.98

01:07:26.000 This lady cop's by herself, and she's got a gun, but she doesn't have the gun out of the holster pointed at the guy. 0.99

01:07:31.000 It's a routine traffic stop, and that guy pummels her, man.

01:07:35.000 It's horrible to watch.

01:07:36.000 Yeah, it's a routine. 1.00

01:07:37.000 Me saying the idea is not like, fuck chicks. 1.00

01:07:40.000 I'm just like, don't send them out to get hurt in these things. 1.00

01:07:42.000 I don't understand why.

01:07:43.000 It's not necessary.

01:07:44.000 That was your daughter, and you saw your daughter beaten half-dead because someone thought it was okay for her to be by herself amongst big, giant criminals.

01:07:54.000 Typically, they don't match up female cops, though, right? 1.00

01:07:57.000 I'm assuming most of the time they put a...

01:07:58.000 This was a girl by herself.

01:08:00.000 Well, that's also crazy.

01:08:01.000 You could be on patrol by yourself as a girl cop, just like walking around a neighborhood or something, for sure. 0.99

01:08:05.000 But I've seen videos where it's like a dude and a chick partners, and the cop gets in a fight with another guy, and it's basically just two men fighting with this woman kind of grabbing an arm here or there, and it's almost a liability. 1.00

01:08:17.000 It's like your girlfriend's screaming behind you, kick his ass, bitch! 1.00

01:08:20.000 Kick his ass, bitch! 1.00

01:08:22.000 She might try to hit the guy with a brick and hit you. 1.00

01:08:25.000 That would be... 0.99

01:08:26.000 She's pointing the mace at herself. 1.00

01:08:29.000 Get the fuck off of him! 1.00

01:08:30.000 There's a lot of men that would fall apart in that job, too. 1.00

01:08:33.000 100 men.

01:08:34.000 Oh, definitely.

01:08:35.000 I think any small...

01:08:37.000 Whether it's a woman or a man, any person who's not a large person, who's not physically strong, who's by themselves as a cop is in danger.

01:08:46.000 Anyone.

01:08:47.000 Doesn't matter if you're a male or if you're a 150-pound man.

01:08:50.000 Same deal.

01:08:50.000 You're in trouble.

01:08:51.000 Unless you're a really good martial artist who can grab a gun quickly and you know how to respond to pressure.

01:08:57.000 I feel like 99% of women, I could take a gun right out of their hands. 1.00

01:09:02.000 I have no training, but I feel like, give me a check, she can point a gun right at my head. 1.00

01:09:07.000 99% of the time, I'm fucking taking it and pointing it right back at her. 0.96

01:09:10.000 That said, I should make clear that myself, I'm nowhere near as tough as I think you should need to be to be a cop. 0.97

01:09:18.000 Oh, yeah.

01:09:19.000 I would never assume that of myself either, so I'm not saying it.

01:09:22.000 Dude, I've been doing martial arts my whole life.

01:09:24.000 I wouldn't want to be a cop.

01:09:25.000 I don't want to be a cop.

01:09:26.000 It's a crazy situation.

01:09:28.000 It's hard.

01:09:28.000 It's a hard job.

01:09:29.000 It's dangerous.

01:09:29.000 You're supposed to have to be brave.

01:09:32.000 Well, not only that, man, do you know how much PTSD those guys are dealing with that is unrecognized? 0.99

01:09:36.000 If every day you're pulling people over that might shoot you, every day you're dealing with someone who's robbing something or stealing something or trying to kill somebody or did kill somebody, every fucking day. 1.00

01:09:46.000 I see a lot of cops saying shit, though, yeah. 1.00

01:09:48.000 Some of them aren't. 1.00

01:09:49.000 But look, you're wearing a uniform that makes you the enemy. 0.99

01:09:51.000 You're also the person with power, and you've got to realize how fucking corrupt that is. 1.00

01:09:55.000 That you're able to yell at people and force people in these situations and cuff them and fuck with them. 0.99

01:09:59.000 And you've got to know when to abuse it and when to use it. 0.99

01:10:02.000 Just gentle, public, like...

01:10:17.000 It's an abuse of power.

01:10:19.000 Yeah, but sometimes they don't have time.

01:10:20.000 Look, benefit of the doubt, right?

01:10:22.000 They're in Times Square.

01:10:23.000 They're dealing with a lot of people.

01:10:24.000 There's just not time for the nuance of— I'm not talking about circumstances.

01:10:27.000 I'm talking about in just a thing like that.

01:10:28.000 The same way they put on their lights to go through a red light just to get—because they don't want to wait at it.

01:10:33.000 Yeah, I've seen a million examples of that.

01:10:35.000 Of course.

01:10:36.000 It's just power.

01:10:37.000 Human beings don't do well with authority mixed with impunity.

01:10:42.000 So, like, a cop can say that to you and nothing happens to them.

01:10:45.000 If there's no repercussions and you have power, people tend to end up being dead.

01:10:50.000 Remember that guy, Jimmy Justice?

01:10:51.000 I had a job as a security guard for a brief moment in time when I was, like, 19 years old.

01:10:55.000 And there was an us versus them mentality between the security and the people with the concert goers.

01:11:00.000 That was... 0.97

01:11:01.000 Clearly evident one of the first days I was working there this guy's name was alley cat security and Some dude had stole one of the golf carts so the golf cart one of them electric golf carts for security So they tackle this dude off the golf cart and he smashes him in the head with a fucking walkie-talkie It's like a crazy fight with some drunken asshole who's like violent and stole a golf cart That was like the first day there First or second day there on the job. 0.91

01:11:28.000 I was like, okay, so this is what's going on. 0.89

01:11:30.000 And it became people trying to sneak booze into Great Woods and then us.

01:11:35.000 And so it was this us versus them mentality.

01:11:37.000 And everybody was lying to you. 0.98

01:11:38.000 And that was the silliest job. 1.00

01:11:40.000 I'm doing security at a fucking Bill Cosby show, literally. 0.99

01:11:44.000 I was doing security. 0.99

01:11:46.000 I was taking people's booze away.

01:11:49.000 Joe, what did you let happen?

01:11:57.000 It's such a simple little job.

01:12:02.000 It's easy.

01:12:02.000 There's no criminals there.

01:12:04.000 There's no bank robbers there.

01:12:05.000 There's no murderers there.

01:12:06.000 It's just that little situation.

01:12:09.000 Of us versus them with the liquor and them trying to smuggle in pot and liquor. 0.96

01:12:14.000 Just that led to this huge fucking rift between the security people and the way they thought of as customers.

01:12:21.000 And it's funny because, again, it's too much of a human emotion in it that something should be a job. 0.97

01:12:25.000 Because even if you don't care if people, when you're not working, you're trying to get beer and weed into a concert. 0.99

01:12:31.000 It's just that these are your opponents right now and they're trying to fuck with you. 0.99

01:12:35.000 Even though some of you were like... 1.00

01:12:37.000 You'd go like, I don't care if you guys smoke weed.

01:12:38.000 You're like, no, but I have to say you can't smoke weed. 0.96

01:12:40.000 And then when they do it anyway, you're like, I just fucking said you can't smoke weed. 0.98

01:12:44.000 It's like testing your manhood almost. 0.97

01:12:46.000 It's too much human emotion in that.

01:12:47.000 They made a movie on Netflix about that experiment.

01:12:50.000 What college was it?

01:12:51.000 It's like a famous story.

01:12:52.000 No, it's Princeton.

01:12:53.000 The Princeton prison.

01:12:54.000 Or no, Stanford.

01:12:55.000 I'm sorry.

01:12:55.000 Stanford Prison Experiment.

01:12:56.000 You know, I read something debunking that.

01:12:59.000 Me too.

01:12:59.000 Yeah, they said the methodology was all wrong on it or something.

01:13:02.000 It's not a legit study.

01:13:03.000 They also said that people were doing things just to end the study quickly because they wanted to go home.

01:13:08.000 They did that in the movie, though.

01:13:09.000 They broke that down.

01:13:10.000 They showed that side of it.

01:13:12.000 I guess the guy who made the experiment said, yeah, it's a wash.

01:13:16.000 Yeah.

01:13:16.000 The end of it was like it wasn't actually good data, but it was interesting.

01:13:20.000 And I do believe that...

01:13:21.000 What's the Stanford experience?

01:13:23.000 It's a prison experience.

01:13:25.000 Students pretended to be...

01:13:26.000 Some pretended to be criminals, some pretended to be security guards. 0.77

01:13:28.000 Oh, and then they started getting corrupt.

01:13:29.000 Prisoners and security guards.

01:13:30.000 The power positions became corrupt.

01:13:32.000 And one of the interesting things is that the professor becomes like the warden, and he gets into it too.

01:13:37.000 They got it on video and stuff and he's like walking around with his chest out and he's all in.

01:13:42.000 It's just people, they fall into these roles, into these camps and the authority goes to people's head.

01:13:48.000 It creates a weird dynamic. 0.94

01:13:49.000 Think about how many dickhead cops people have met. 0.97

01:13:54.000 That's just a thing that happens. 0.75

01:13:57.000 But it also makes it very nice when you run into friendly cops.

01:14:00.000 It's like, wow, what a good dude.

01:14:03.000 It's almost like training the human interaction. 0.98

01:14:05.000 So when they act like a dick and people act a certain way and they move and they get a little bit nervous, it's like, oh, that's intoxicating. 0.98

01:14:12.000 They're like, oh, that feels good. 0.99

01:14:13.000 That power right there.

01:14:15.000 No repercussions for your behavior, the way you're talking.

01:14:18.000 You could just do that with impunity.

01:14:19.000 You just nailed it.

01:14:20.000 That's exactly what it is.

01:14:21.000 That's not a normal situation for people.

01:14:23.000 I mean, it's state versus business, if you ask me.

01:14:27.000 Here we go. 1.00

01:14:28.000 Oh, you son of a bitch. 1.00

01:14:29.000 Look, if you walk into the Apple store, they can't do that because you're a voluntary customer. 1.00

01:14:34.000 So if they treat you the wrong way, there's a repercussion right there.

01:14:37.000 You're like, well, walk out of here.

01:14:38.000 Go next door. 0.96

01:14:39.000 Like Starbucks with the black dudes and how they're homeless camps now. 1.00

01:14:43.000 Yeah. 0.60

01:14:43.000 It doesn't always work out, Jack. 0.60

01:14:45.000 At least they're not shooting people.

01:14:46.000 But cell phones have become their great equalizer because now you see cops, they're walking on eggshells, dude. 1.00

01:14:52.000 People want their cell phones now and they're like, what up, bitch-ass pussy cop? 1.00

01:14:55.000 And the cop's like, well, I guess I'm a bitch-ass pussy. 1.00

01:14:57.000 Did you see the video in New York? 1.00

01:14:59.000 As soon as the battery runs out on that cell phone, I'm going to shoot you in the stomach. 0.99

01:15:02.000 Dude, did you see the video in New York where they're throwing water on the cops? 1.00

01:15:06.000 And the cops just aren't doing shit. 0.99

01:15:07.000 And I don't know, I think it was, it might have been in Harlem or something, isn't it like a black neighborhood in New York? 0.99

01:15:11.000 They're dumping water on the cops and everyone's got a cell phone camera on them. 0.98

01:15:15.000 And you know in any other period of time, these cops would just be beating the shit out of everyone there. 0.99

01:15:21.000 But they're throwing water balloons at him and shit, and they're just sitting there like, we know. 0.99

01:15:25.000 I'm going to be in the news tomorrow. 0.99

01:15:28.000 I'm going to be, you know what I mean?

01:15:29.000 Like, I'll be a famous cop.

01:15:31.000 Dude, that cop definitely goes home that night and, like, shadowbubble two nightsticks.

01:15:34.000 Just practicing, like, a last dragon circle fight that he was in that day.

01:15:38.000 Man, that happened tomorrow.

01:15:44.000 He shadowboxed for two hours at home and he goes, pour water on me?

01:15:47.000 Here's some water for you, dude.

01:15:48.000 And all these guys, a lot of them have been on the force for 15 years, 20 years, so they've been doing things a certain way for so long.

01:15:55.000 I'm so close to my pension.

01:15:58.000 Did you guys ever see The 7-5?

01:16:00.000 Yeah.

01:16:01.000 Oh, yeah.

01:16:01.000 Excellent.

01:16:02.000 You interviewed the guy.

01:16:03.000 You interviewed him, didn't you?

01:16:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:16:04.000 Is he likable?

01:16:05.000 Yeah, very nice guy.

01:16:06.000 What's his name?

01:16:07.000 Michael Dowd?

01:16:08.000 Is that it?

01:16:09.000 Michael Dowd.

01:16:10.000 Michael Dowd.

01:16:10.000 I didn't see it.

01:16:11.000 It's an excellent documentary.

01:16:13.000 It's Dowd.

01:16:14.000 It might be Dowd, yeah.

01:16:15.000 It's Dowd.

01:16:16.000 Yeah, you know, he's great.

01:16:17.000 He's a really nice guy. 0.98

01:16:17.000 I mean, he's super open and honest about what happened, and the documentary is fucking compelling as shit. 0.98

01:16:22.000 And you realize how much of it was true. 0.97

01:16:24.000 I feel like he's not remorseful at all.

01:16:26.000 That's what I find unlikable.

01:16:27.000 That he's not remorseful?

01:16:28.000 I think he's remorseful.

01:16:30.000 He is?

01:16:30.000 Yeah, look.

01:16:31.000 He just has that voice?

01:16:32.000 Just doing coke all day long, every day, as a cop, and making all this money and driving a Corvette.

01:16:39.000 He was out of control.

01:16:39.000 And he was on the area where he was, the 75th precinct, I think it's East New York, Brooklyn, at the height of the New York...

01:16:47.000 This was like the murder...

01:16:49.000 Yeah.

01:16:50.000 Neighborhood, capital.

01:16:51.000 Like, it was a wild thing.

01:16:53.000 Yeah, but they were in the chain of a lot of those murders.

01:16:56.000 That's what I think is, like, crazy about it.

01:16:57.000 Well, they were never convicted of a murder, right?

01:17:01.000 There was no evidence.

01:17:02.000 I think almost admittedly that he was kind of, he's like, I mean, of course, like...

01:17:04.000 But there was a talk about doing one, right?

01:17:06.000 Yeah.

01:17:07.000 But it never happened. 1.00

01:17:08.000 The whole fucking thing is crazy. 0.99

01:17:10.000 But what it tells you, I mean, forget about... 0.99

01:17:13.000 Our judgments on, you know, the people that were in it.

01:17:16.000 What it tells you is that this can happen.

01:17:18.000 To someone who just becomes a cop, you get on the force.

01:17:20.000 If it's a bad force, like it was at the time with him, and he's seeing corruption from day one.

01:17:25.000 I mean, it was just like he was roped into it, like, right away when you listen to his story. 0.73

01:17:30.000 It's pretty fucking compelling. 0.87

01:17:31.000 This is like the first day on the job. 0.98

01:17:33.000 Like, something happened.

01:17:34.000 They threw a guy off a building or something like that?

01:17:36.000 I don't remember.

01:17:37.000 Yeah, but it was...

01:17:39.000 And then there's just money right there that you could take.

01:17:41.000 You're like, I can just have this.

01:17:43.000 No one will know.

01:17:44.000 There's 50 G's here.

01:17:45.000 I could just take this home and like, oh, we didn't find anything.

01:17:48.000 It's very telling of the personality that becomes a cop, though, because they're not even worried that people are going to...

01:17:54.000 It's amazing that no one whistleblows so much earlier than that because one person comes in and goes, no, guys, we're supposed to be... 0.99

01:18:00.000 Fucking believing in this badge. 0.98

01:18:02.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:18:03.000 They all go, what do we do?

01:18:04.000 Are we good cops or bad cops?

01:18:05.000 We're robbing drug dealers.

01:18:06.000 I think they can morally justify it though.

01:18:11.000 So I don't think that, honestly, to be honest, I have almost no problem with cops skimming off the top from drug dealer money. 0.97

01:18:19.000 I mean, what do you want me to fucking say? 0.91

01:18:21.000 We're just giving it to the government? 0.99

01:18:23.000 Why does the government get to have the money and these cops who are putting their lives...

01:18:26.000 But wait a minute, not if they're arresting people for drugs.

01:18:29.000 Yeah.

01:18:29.000 Look, if you're going to do that and you're going to just ignore everyone else who's selling coke, okay.

01:18:35.000 But if you're going to do that and arrest people for selling coke, then you're a criminal.

01:18:39.000 Then you're like...

01:18:40.000 If you get caught, you should be arrested.

01:18:41.000 Yeah.

01:18:42.000 That's the repercussion.

01:18:43.000 I don't have a moral issue with it.

01:18:45.000 If he found $50,000, only reported $40,000, put $10,000 in his pocket, brought it home to his wife and kids, I don't really have a moral issue with that. 0.96

01:18:53.000 What if he brought it home to just fucking pay for his backed up like porn bill or something? 0.99

01:18:58.000 We just brought him the fuck around. 0.99

01:18:59.000 No, Jay, they won't let you go that long. 0.98

01:19:02.000 If you want to get reinstated, there's fees. 1.00

01:19:04.000 If he got arrested, I wouldn't go, oh, poor fucking guy. 0.99

01:19:07.000 I'd go, yeah, dude, that's the price you pay. 1.00

01:19:09.000 You committed a crime. 1.00

01:19:11.000 But from my personal perspective, I don't think he's a piece of shit. 0.99

01:19:14.000 I don't think he's a bad person. 1.00

01:19:16.000 I think it's probably stupid if he doesn't. 0.99

01:19:18.000 Look, the cycle of people and drugs is never-ending. 1.00

01:19:21.000 It will go on to the end of time.

01:19:23.000 The cycle of making drugs illegal and propping up gigantic criminal enterprises because of that is also as old as we've had laws.

01:19:33.000 As long as we've had laws, we've had people breaking those laws, and if those laws exist because someone wants to control people's behavior in a way that people don't want, folks are going to find a workaround.

01:19:42.000 But drugs empowers the Mexican cartels right now. 0.98

01:19:46.000 And the Mexican cartels are a huge source of fear for people that live in the border towns.

01:19:52.000 It's a huge source of fear for people that are forced to be in communities.

01:19:55.000 And it's propped up because drugs are illegal.

01:19:58.000 Nobody seems to want to recognize that.

01:19:59.000 It's one of those ugly things about being a human.

01:20:03.000 That, like, people want drugs.

01:20:05.000 And you can't tell them they can't have what they want.

01:20:09.000 Yeah, especially since immigration became such a huge thing that everyone's talking about, and that's like the biggest part of it that no one talks about.

01:20:15.000 It's like the violence, and it's like, well, there's people on this side of this line who want the drugs.

01:20:19.000 There's people on this side of the line who have the drugs. 0.97

01:20:21.000 And even with all the shit you're doing, they're still trading them to each other. 0.97

01:20:25.000 So do you really think maybe we should just let them do it? 0.99

01:20:28.000 But here's the thing.

01:20:29.000 We don't want anybody to do it, rightly so.

01:20:31.000 I mean, look, you don't want anybody running around doing heroin.

01:20:34.000 And nobody gets through that and goes, it was amazing.

01:20:37.000 One of my best moments in life is when I was addicted to heroin. 0.98

01:20:39.000 Yeah, but even if you do it one time, I bet it's pretty fucking dope. 0.71

01:20:42.000 I bet it's amazing, but it's hard to let it go once you've experienced it. 0.98

01:20:46.000 It's probably fucking incredible. 0.67

01:20:48.000 Lenny Bruce had some crazy description of it about something about being hugged by an angel or something like that. 0.97

01:20:54.000 Yeah, Mike DeStefano, who died a few years ago in a New York comic, he had a joke.

01:20:58.000 He was like, you know how great heroin is?

01:20:59.000 It's like taking a bath in a pool full of kittens.

01:21:05.000 Metzger had that joke about it where he says when the families of people go, he goes, I don't understand why he would do heroin.

01:21:11.000 He's got a family that loves him and kids who look up to him and love him.

01:21:15.000 Like, why would he do heroin?

01:21:16.000 He goes, I want to tell that family, like, you're just so close to the answer.

01:21:21.000 Just that heroin is better than all those things.

01:21:24.000 That is hilarious.

01:21:26.000 Yeah, but I mean, I don't think people should do it.

01:21:28.000 But if you make it illegal...

01:21:30.000 They're not going to stop doing it.

01:21:32.000 The question would be, would people do more of it if it was legal?

01:21:35.000 If you could just go to a drugstore the same way you go to a liquor store, and a drugstore was actually a drugstore, where you could just go buy Coke.

01:21:41.000 And they might.

01:21:42.000 Well, look, in LA, I do think more people are smoking weed since weed became legal.

01:21:47.000 That'd be my guess.

01:21:48.000 I don't actually have data on that.

01:21:49.000 Let's find out what the date is.

01:21:50.000 I'm sure it's fine.

01:21:52.000 But even if that's the case, I don't know if that's the answer.

01:21:55.000 Because let's say even slightly more people did heroin, but way less people got murdered.

01:21:59.000 What's that?

01:22:00.000 Do your heroin...

01:22:02.000 What?

01:22:04.000 Jamie just took heroin.

01:22:07.000 It had nothing to do with heroin.

01:22:07.000 Do people smoke weed more?

01:22:09.000 Do people smoke weed more since legalization?

01:22:11.000 Well, that was the most hilarious not-remember-what we were talking about. 0.99

01:22:15.000 It's gotten cheaper, it's easier to get, it's better, it's more fun, it's in candy form, it's in fucking... 0.97

01:22:22.000 I think an 18-year-old is more likely to definitely give it a try versus maybe would've. 0.98

01:22:28.000 When I got to meet for the first time, I was 17 years old.

01:22:32.000 I had my Uncle Raymond buy it for us.

01:22:34.000 He skimmed off the bag, I remember. 0.99

01:22:35.000 And he brought us a fucking dime bag. 0.98

01:22:37.000 And me and my two best friends, we smoked a joint before we were going to see System of a Down, Incubus, and Mr. Bungle at Snowcore. 0.99

01:22:44.000 You're Puerto Rican, so what's your uncle like two years older than you?

01:22:47.000 Is that why he did that?

01:22:50.000 He's your bro.

01:22:51.000 The night before we wanted to smoke, and it took us...

01:22:54.000 There was no way to get it.

01:22:55.000 We were trying to find weed for so long because we weren't in that world.

01:22:59.000 The first time you go to get weed, if you could just go to a store and pick it up, and it's fun, and it's like at a mall.

01:23:06.000 I mean, yeah.

01:23:09.000 Astronomical.

01:23:09.000 But, you know, I love weed, so I'm not hating.

01:23:12.000 It's great.

01:23:12.000 Well, it was hard to get on the East Coast.

01:23:14.000 I mean, it's just trickier.

01:23:16.000 Out here, but since the 90s, once they passed those laws for medical, everybody had a medical card.

01:23:22.000 It's not hard to get at all.

01:23:23.000 The doctors were extremely unscrupulous in their prescriptions. 0.98

01:23:27.000 So everybody's had weed out here since the fucking 90s. 0.99

01:23:31.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:23:31.000 Like, strong, strong, easy to get weed. 0.99

01:23:33.000 Yeah, but now they don't give you shit if you smoke, like, outside. 0.99

01:23:36.000 That's true. 0.99

01:23:36.000 You can smoke it like a cigarette now. 0.99

01:23:38.000 No, no.

01:23:39.000 I don't think you can smoke it outside.

01:23:40.000 I still think you have to be indoors.

01:23:42.000 I think smoking outside, the problem is other people can smell it, and you're not supposed to do that.

01:23:46.000 Yeah, I mean...

01:23:46.000 I think in Denver, it's like nine feet from an entrance you could smoke weed.

01:23:50.000 I think so.

01:23:52.000 I smoke vape, I mean, everywhere.

01:23:54.000 Inside of a movie theater, as I'm walking through a mall.

01:23:57.000 I go to the bathroom at the airport and I smoke.

01:23:59.000 Yes, that's what ethnics do.

01:24:00.000 They challenge everyone by being big and alpha in a place like that.

01:24:03.000 Starbucks, I don't buy anything.

01:24:05.000 Yeah, I'm smoking, what?

01:24:06.000 Ethnics.

01:24:07.000 He only keeps me around so he can be racist.

01:24:10.000 I go, what do you mean? 0.97

01:24:11.000 My dentist is black?

01:24:12.000 Lewis? 0.97

01:24:15.000 Black dentist would be hilarious. 1.00

01:24:17.000 He's got gold teeth.

01:24:20.000 Snoop's got diamond lower teeth now.

01:24:23.000 What?

01:24:23.000 Oh, man.

01:24:24.000 Snoop Dogg.

01:24:25.000 Diamond studded or made of diamonds?

01:24:27.000 Them crazy grilled diamond things.

01:24:29.000 But he's in this video where he's driving around on his Instagram in a Lamborghini with diamond lower teeth.

01:24:36.000 50 years old, right?

01:24:38.000 I love it.

01:24:38.000 50 years old with diamond teeth.

01:24:40.000 He's living it, man.

01:24:41.000 Oh, for sure. 1.00

01:24:42.000 He doesn't give a fuck. 0.99

01:24:43.000 He spends most of his time getting furious at video games online. 0.99

01:24:45.000 Does he?

01:24:46.000 Yeah, he just yells about Madden.

01:24:47.000 He did a UFC thing for a minute, right?

01:24:49.000 He was commentating with your eye favor.

01:24:52.000 With your eye favor, yeah.

01:24:54.000 They would drink and watch the fights.

01:24:56.000 So he was drinking like Tangeray and smoking joints and watching the fights.

01:25:00.000 Oh, these white boys tough. 0.74

01:25:01.000 Yeah.

01:25:02.000 Yeah, because what it was, was there was some commentary that he did just independently on one fight, and it was so hilarious, because he's so animated, screaming and yelling about this fight, that everybody thought, like, wow, wouldn't it be great if there was an option to watch the Snoop Dogg commentary? 0.65

01:25:17.000 Yeah, on demand, you could click over to the Snoop Dogg version, that's right, and it was probably, I don't know, I've never watched it, but I assume it was fucking horrific.

01:25:24.000 Oh, they're going north-south. 0.70

01:25:26.000 He got his dizzle in his mizzle.

01:25:33.000 Yeah.

01:25:33.000 I guess they got bored with it.

01:25:35.000 They got bored doing it or something.

01:25:37.000 I don't know.

01:25:37.000 It stopped.

01:25:38.000 Maybe Snoop's fucking busy. 0.98

01:25:39.000 He doesn't have time to be doing that all the time. 0.98

01:25:40.000 He's like Mike Tyson, too, in the sense that I remember when he was scary.

01:25:44.000 I hear this.

01:25:45.000 Let's listen to this.

01:25:46.000 Oh, that's right.

01:25:51.000 It was Colby.

01:25:53.000 I'm sorry. 1.00

01:25:55.000 Fuck Donald Trump, nigga! 1.00

01:25:58.000 This is where he thought it was Colby. 1.00

01:26:00.000 He thought it was Colby.

01:26:01.000 This was a big thing.

01:26:02.000 That's right, he thought it was Colby, but it was a man from a completely different part of the world. 1.00

01:26:07.000 Fuck Donald Trump! 1.00

01:26:09.000 That is hilarious. 1.00

01:26:10.000 He thought it was Colby.

01:26:11.000 That's so funny. 0.99

01:26:12.000 Holy shit, he was getting some booze the other night, huh? 0.99

01:26:14.000 Dude, that guy here is cha-ching! 1.00

01:26:16.000 Yep.

01:26:17.000 When those people are booing.

01:26:18.000 It's emotion, dude.

01:26:19.000 Emotion.

01:26:20.000 You want to get the emotion out of people. 0.98

01:26:21.000 Whether it's good or bad, it doesn't fucking matter. 0.96

01:26:23.000 They want to see him fight and they want to see him lose. 0.99

01:26:25.000 He's going heel.

01:26:26.000 He went heel.

01:26:27.000 Listen, he's a good guy.

01:26:29.000 I'm telling you, I know that guy.

01:26:30.000 I've met him outside of this crazy thing that he's doing.

01:26:34.000 And this crazy thing that he's doing came about when he was on the verge of getting cut.

01:26:40.000 And people didn't like his style.

01:26:42.000 And so he went hard heel when he fought Damien Maia.

01:26:45.000 He went hard heel.

01:26:46.000 Well, Chael did a similar thing.

01:26:48.000 Chael wasn't the big mouth guy back in the day.

01:26:50.000 No, he was not.

01:26:51.000 Yeah, and he just made a decision one day that he's going to be that dude.

01:26:54.000 Was it right at the Anderson fight? 0.98

01:26:55.000 Fucking great marketing decision. 0.99

01:26:56.000 Smart. 1.00

01:26:57.000 Very smart.

01:26:57.000 And Colby, too.

01:26:58.000 But also, Colby, something happened as well.

01:27:01.000 He's really exciting, dude.

01:27:02.000 That last fight was incredible, dude.

01:27:06.000 But yeah, Colby is definitely contrived.

01:27:09.000 I appreciate the effort.

01:27:11.000 But it's effective.

01:27:12.000 Yeah.

01:27:12.000 See, the thing about it being contrived is it makes it obvious that he's putting on a show.

01:27:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:27:17.000 But the thing is that putting on a show is fucking, he's ruthless. 1.00

01:27:21.000 He fucks with people's heads legitimately. 0.99

01:27:23.000 Like, they do not want to lose to him. 0.99

01:27:25.000 And then when you get inside the octagon, he's really fucking good. 0.99

01:27:29.000 Like, really fucking good. 0.95

01:27:30.000 Yeah, I didn't realize how good he was until the Robbie Lawler fight. 0.97

01:27:33.000 You see the amount of strikes of that guy?

01:27:34.000 Yeah, all volume, and then he's unbelievable wrestling.

01:27:36.000 It's a really, really, really tough matchup for anybody.

01:27:39.000 And Colby is, it is an act, and it is pro wrestling. 1.00

01:27:43.000 He puts on the Trump hat, and people just see that hat, and they lose their fucking mind. 1.00

01:27:48.000 And he trolls half the country. 1.00

01:27:49.000 And it's a similar thing when businesses do it.

01:27:52.000 I'm going like, guys, don't be rubes. 0.99

01:27:53.000 It's very obvious that it's just an act.

01:27:56.000 And if you're a fan of mixed martial arts, you have to appreciate the fact that some guys are taking chances and trying to generate interest.

01:28:03.000 Every guy can't just be put on a suit and be straight placed.

01:28:06.000 Yeah, I respect my opponent.

01:28:08.000 At some point you want a little story, yeah.

01:28:10.000 Yeah, I mean, he makes it juicier. 0.99

01:28:12.000 But the bottom line is, put all that shit aside, and just look at what he's doing. 0.99

01:28:17.000 You look at what he's doing, and you're like, that guy's extraordinary. 0.99

01:28:19.000 Like, the fact that he could do that to Robbie Lawler, completely shut down his offense, and just put a beating on him, just stay on top of him, never give him any air.

01:28:26.000 Never give him any air.

01:28:27.000 The pace is smothering.

01:28:29.000 And his striking looked really good.

01:28:31.000 It's very good.

01:28:31.000 I mean, like, very, very good in that fight.

01:28:33.000 He takes a shot, he takes a shot great, and his cardio is off the fucking charts. 0.99

01:28:36.000 Oh, yeah. 0.99

01:28:37.000 Yeah.

01:28:38.000 That whole 170 right now, that whole division is looking crazy right now.

01:28:43.000 It's amazing.

01:28:43.000 Yeah, Nate Diaz being back in the mix, and Masvidal.

01:28:47.000 Masvidal and Nate seems like, if you're a fan of just like, if you're from a poor neighborhood, that is like the superstar matchup. 0.62

01:28:55.000 I grew up in such a shitty environment. 1.00

01:28:57.000 That was like the perfect two hoodrat fucking guys who are going to talk shit. 1.00

01:29:01.000 They're going to go in there and fight. 1.00

01:29:03.000 It's so awesome.

01:29:04.000 They're going to make so much money.

01:29:05.000 That's why it's going to be so giant.

01:29:07.000 Well, it was cool that Dana White at the post-fight press conference, he got asked, because, you know, he had famously said, I think, once that Nate Diaz doesn't move the needle, or something like along those lines.

01:29:16.000 That was during negotiations, I guarantee.

01:29:18.000 Yeah, I'm sure it was.

01:29:18.000 But he basically said, he goes, I think Nate, besides Conor and Ronda Rousey, is like about as big a star.

01:29:24.000 As MMA has.

01:29:25.000 Like, they did crazy good numbers.

01:29:27.000 Everyone, the arena was going nuts for him. 1.00

01:29:29.000 Dude, when he walked out yesterday, or Saturday night, when he walked out, the fucking place roared. 0.98

01:29:35.000 I mean, as loud as anybody, as loud as any main event person, whether it's Stipe or DC, Nate Diaz got the biggest roar. 0.99

01:29:43.000 And then he had a great performance.

01:29:44.000 Well, even leading up to it, people were talking about Nate coming back more than they were talking about the heavyweight title.

01:29:49.000 I don't think some people in the UFC realize how big a star he really is.

01:29:53.000 I think they thought that the Conor fight, Conor was the big star, Nate beat him, Conor won the second fight, Conor still remains the big superstar.

01:30:01.000 I think Nate is equally as big a star in America as Conor is. 0.96

01:30:06.000 Maybe, I don't know what worldwide is like, but in America, Nate Diaz is a giant fucking star. 0.95

01:30:10.000 Maybe not as big as Conor, but a tier below maybe. 0.94

01:30:14.000 You have to credit Conor levels.

01:30:16.000 And you have to say he won the two fights.

01:30:20.000 I mean, who would you rather be in the two fights?

01:30:22.000 I mean, he choked Conor out face down in the first one and then had like a razor close, unbelievable, great fight the second time.

01:30:29.000 So, I mean, he comes out of that looking pretty good. 0.95

01:30:32.000 Yeah, but I think it's a testament to how popular Conor is, because that's the fucking Conor shine. 0.87

01:30:37.000 And it was a dance, and Nate brought it, and Nate has that story, the one-on-one fight. 0.91

01:30:42.000 It's turned him into this star.

01:30:43.000 But if he never danced with Conor, would he be that big today?

01:30:47.000 I don't know.

01:30:47.000 No, because Nate was awesome for years before the Conor fight.

01:30:51.000 Yeah, he's incredible. 0.99

01:30:51.000 He's the fucking man, dude. 0.99

01:30:52.000 The double middle fingers. 1.00

01:30:53.000 There's so many moments where you're like, I get goosebumps thinking about Nate's fighting.

01:30:57.000 That's your favorite part.

01:30:58.000 When he's like, These are the fingers that take...

01:31:01.000 That's your favorite.

01:31:02.000 It's awesome. 1.00

01:31:02.000 I love when he said, fuck you. 1.00

01:31:04.000 Dude, when he got in the triangle and gave him double... 1.00

01:31:08.000 It was the fucking best, dude. 0.98

01:31:09.000 He gave him double fingers and flexed. 0.99

01:31:11.000 And he was losing that fight, too.

01:31:14.000 Yeah.

01:31:14.000 It was great.

01:31:16.000 Oh, and then the Donald Cerrone fight, third round they come out. 0.97

01:31:19.000 It was so fucking good, dude. 0.96

01:31:21.000 Once again, you don't have to be a mixed martial arts fan. 1.00

01:31:23.000 You just got to be a human and go like, that's a fucking fighter. 0.99

01:31:26.000 That is something that everyone wants to watch. 0.99

01:31:28.000 Well, I hope he makes an actual belt because he's saying he's got the baddest motherfucker in the game belt and who wants to be next to challenge for the baddest motherfucker in the game belt. 0.98

01:31:38.000 And I love that. 0.98

01:31:39.000 I love that that's his marketing strategy. 0.99

01:31:41.000 He should really legitimately get a belt made up to say, baddest motherfucker in the game belt. 0.99

01:31:45.000 I'm sure someone will send it to him. 0.97

01:31:47.000 Make it look like the old UFC belt.

01:31:48.000 UFC isn't using that old belt anymore. 0.84

01:31:50.000 How about you have a UFC baddest motherfucker in the game belt and just change the outside a little bit. 0.95

01:31:56.000 Was he smoking weed for real? 0.98

01:31:58.000 Yes, in the open workouts.

01:32:00.000 Is he going to get in trouble for that?

01:32:01.000 No, no, no.

01:32:02.000 It's totally legal in California.

01:32:03.000 And when you test, you have to literally be high while you're fighting for you to test positive.

01:32:08.000 You sort of dropped it all way, way down.

01:32:10.000 Oh, great.

01:32:10.000 Well, so many people use it to sleep.

01:32:12.000 So many people use it for pain reliefs, particularly with CBD when it's one-to-one.

01:32:17.000 These are one-to-one THC and CBD, and they think that it's actually more effective for both.

01:32:23.000 It actually calms you down a little bit with the CBD along with the THC, so it might actually alleviate some anxiety that's associated with getting too high.

01:32:33.000 Wouldn't that make sense?

01:32:34.000 Because that's how it comes in the plant, right?

01:32:36.000 Yeah.

01:32:37.000 Well, yeah.

01:32:38.000 Yeah, I guess.

01:32:39.000 Except I think CBD, it doesn't come in as big.

01:32:42.000 So to get one and one, you'd have to...

01:32:44.000 When you smoke a joint, how much CBD you're smoking?

01:32:47.000 I have no idea.

01:32:48.000 I have no clue.

01:32:49.000 Do you even get CBD when you just smoke a joint?

01:32:51.000 Yeah, I've never heard of CBD until it wasn't in the joint anymore.

01:32:54.000 It's by itself.

01:32:55.000 Well, THC is one of many, many cannabinoids, right?

01:32:59.000 Isn't there like 19 of them or something crazy like that?

01:33:01.000 Is that what it is, Jamie?

01:33:02.000 18. Yeah, that's...

01:33:04.000 Just kidding.

01:33:04.000 I don't know.

01:33:05.000 It's...

01:33:06.000 I think the plant itself is what's magic. 0.99

01:33:10.000 It's a crazy goddamn plant that we're finally getting to appreciate. 0.97

01:33:13.000 And still, there's a lot of places where you still have to buy hemp from Canada. 0.99

01:33:18.000 Large-scale hemp production hasn't really caught on with a good percentage of this country.

01:33:23.000 That used to be one of the major crops that people would grow.

01:33:26.000 You could make clothes out of it.

01:33:28.000 You could eat it. 1.00

01:33:28.000 It makes this shit called... 1.00

01:33:31.000 Hempcrete. 0.99

01:33:31.000 It's like this insanely durable concrete that's made with hemp. 0.99

01:33:36.000 It's a fucking nutty plant, man. 1.00

01:33:38.000 It really is. 1.00

01:33:39.000 Like the stalk of a hemp tree.

01:33:41.000 Like my friend Todd McCormick had one sitting on his desk once.

01:33:44.000 And you pick it up, it's like, what is this, from another world?

01:33:46.000 It's hard, like oak.

01:33:48.000 Hard.

01:33:49.000 But light as balsa wood.

01:33:51.000 Light as styrofoam.

01:33:51.000 Wait, is a hemp plant different than weed?

01:33:54.000 No.

01:33:55.000 No.

01:33:55.000 I mean, the difference is hemp is not psychoactive.

01:33:59.000 It's like a psychoactive form of the same sort of kind of plants.

01:34:04.000 But regular marijuana also is hemp, right?

01:34:06.000 Because what hemp is is the fibers.

01:34:08.000 So what we're using to get high is the buds.

01:34:11.000 Right. 0.98

01:34:12.000 The stems and all the other leaves and shit. 0.84

01:34:13.000 But the fiber of the plant itself is insanely durable and really light. 0.99

01:34:18.000 And that's the shit they turn into clothes, into string, into all this, into paper, canvas. 0.82

01:34:23.000 The first canvas was made with hemp. 1.00

01:34:26.000 All that stuff.

01:34:27.000 That's why the word cannabis comes from cannabis.

01:34:31.000 That's why it's called cannabis.

01:34:33.000 But they did everything with hemp.

01:34:35.000 But it's just hard to do, man.

01:34:36.000 They used to have to beat it down.

01:34:37.000 They used slave labor most of the time.

01:34:39.000 And then in the 1930s, some dude came up with something called a decorticator.

01:34:43.000 It is a machine where you could effectively process the hemp fiber. 0.99

01:34:47.000 And that's when they started going crazy with the reefer madness shit. 0.99

01:34:50.000 It was all an economic thing. 1.00

01:34:51.000 Uh-huh.

01:34:52.000 Then the slaves smoked it.

01:34:53.000 Jazz.

01:34:54.000 And then jazz.

01:34:56.000 They already had it.

01:34:57.000 Everybody was already doing it.

01:34:59.000 I mean, that was something that was a normal thing with people. 0.69

01:35:02.000 It wasn't until they decided to make it illegal that it became this weird fucking thing that nobody could do something that they've been doing for so long before. 0.55

01:35:14.000 Aren't they making mushrooms and acid legal somewhere in the States? 0.89

01:35:18.000 In Denver, I think they were. 0.99

01:35:19.000 Stipe Miocic, fucking heavyweight champ of the world, just called. 0.99

01:35:22.000 Sorry. 1.00

01:35:23.000 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:35:23.000 Name-dropping. 0.99

01:35:24.000 Yeah, he looks great. 1.00

01:35:25.000 Fuck, what a crazy fight. 1.00

01:35:27.000 Wow. 1.00

01:35:27.000 Did I read that somewhere? 1.00

01:35:29.000 Maybe.

01:35:30.000 They're doing it?

01:35:30.000 Maybe.

01:35:31.000 I mean, that guy...

01:35:32.000 It was like a Rocky movie, just the change.

01:35:35.000 Yeah.

01:35:35.000 The turn in that fight was so crazy.

01:35:38.000 Look, DC is my very good friend.

01:35:40.000 I love him to death.

01:35:41.000 I love that guy.

01:35:42.000 It's hard. 1.00

01:35:42.000 It's hard watching a friend that you really love get his ass kicked. 1.00

01:35:46.000 And that's what happened. 0.99

01:35:47.000 He was looking great.

01:35:48.000 Yeah, he looked really good.

01:35:49.000 Look, he's an awesome person, man.

01:35:51.000 I love that dude.

01:35:52.000 And doing commentary with him is the most hilarious, fun time.

01:35:55.000 He's such a good guy.

01:35:56.000 He's great at commentary.

01:35:57.000 He's very, very articulate and smart.

01:35:59.000 He's one of the best that does it.

01:36:03.000 Yeah, dude. 0.97

01:36:04.000 It sucks. 0.95

01:36:04.000 It's just you see the pain on his face when he loses a fight. 0.95

01:36:07.000 He does not like losing.

01:36:08.000 Of course he doesn't, but neither does Stipe, you know what I mean?

01:36:10.000 And that's what it's all about.

01:36:12.000 Those two guys, I have deep respect for Stipe, too.

01:36:15.000 I've been saying forever that I thought it was fucked up that he was not going to get a title shot, not going to get a rematch.

01:36:22.000 Instead, they were going to have him fight Brock Lesnar. 0.64

01:36:24.000 I'm like, look, the fight is supposed to be Stipe.

01:36:26.000 He was the most successful heavyweight ever, won four title fights, won the title, and then defended it three times.

01:36:32.000 No one's ever done that before.

01:36:33.000 So that was the giant... 0.98

01:36:35.000 And the guys he beat were fucking really good. 0.98

01:36:38.000 And it's not just like you gave it... 0.97

01:36:39.000 It'd be one thing if you said, you know, he got knocked out in the first round, so we're going to give the first crack to this number one contender who's like on a tear or something.

01:36:48.000 But to just say, Brock Lesnar, because this is a big...

01:36:51.000 It was the most naked example of this is just for pay-per-view buys. 0.96

01:36:55.000 That kind of sucks for Stipe. 0.97

01:36:57.000 Right. 0.99

01:36:57.000 Yeah, it sucks for Stipe. 0.99

01:36:59.000 And I'm glad it didn't happen.

01:37:01.000 I'm glad that Stipe got his chance.

01:37:03.000 Because just out of respect for the sport and respect for the true champions of the sport, it doesn't matter what marketability or not.

01:37:13.000 That guy is the best champion that's ever been in the game.

01:37:17.000 He's the best heavyweight champion of all time.

01:37:19.000 So, like, to not recognize that and not, like, that should be a big deal.

01:37:25.000 No, I agree with you.

01:37:26.000 That should be the fight, but the money of the Brock Lesnar fight would have been so immense that if you're a company that makes entertainment, this is why it's kind of like the UFC in some ways, there's a marriage of entertainment and of sport.

01:37:40.000 And there has to be.

01:37:41.000 I mean, the people are the ones who are buying the pay-per-views and paying for it, so more of them want this. 0.99

01:37:46.000 That's where the shit-talk comes in. 0.98

01:37:47.000 It's good for the gander because you get Brock Lesnar to come on a card. 0.99

01:37:50.000 You get massive, massive eyes on it.

01:37:52.000 Every time you do that, there's a percentage of people who stay fans and become hardcore fans and tell people about it.

01:37:59.000 There's real value there for everybody.

01:38:02.000 But the Heavyweight Championship of the World is supposed to be the most prestigious.

01:38:05.000 You don't see that in any other sport where a guy will be coming off a loss before he is removed.

01:38:11.000 You know, test positive for steroids and then just get a title shot.

01:38:15.000 That's a good way of putting it.

01:38:17.000 That's a very good point.

01:38:18.000 What I want to see, more even than the DC thing, I want to see Francis Ngannou, Stipe too.

01:38:23.000 Because Francis Ngannou just destroyed Kane and Junior Dos Santos, who, if you guys remember, just a few years ago.

01:38:30.000 Those were the guys.

01:38:31.000 That was King Kong and Godzilla right there.

01:38:33.000 That's the heavyweight division.

01:38:34.000 And he just destroyed both of them.

01:38:35.000 He looks like he got his confidence back.

01:38:37.000 He looks like, you know, like, I want to see that rematch.

01:38:40.000 Yeah, I'm terrified for everybody who gets in the octagon against that guy.

01:38:45.000 Every time he fights somebody, I'm like...

01:38:47.000 Because I remember I still have shell shock for watching Alistair Overeem get hit with that left hook.

01:38:54.000 Oh, that was the hardest knockout I've ever seen, ever.

01:38:56.000 I remember thinking, like, no one's gonna survive that.

01:38:59.000 It looked like the back of Alistair Overeem's head touched his ankles.

01:39:02.000 He just snapped back.

01:39:04.000 Oh, dude.

01:39:04.000 I was like, no one...

01:39:05.000 Everyone's going out from that.

01:39:06.000 Everyone's going out cold.

01:39:07.000 That's the thing with the heavyweight. 0.99

01:39:09.000 You just have to, like, have so much respect because it's like, holy shit, dude. 0.98

01:39:13.000 Like, you're getting in there and it's just like... 0.99

01:39:16.000 At any moment, you're just gone.

01:39:18.000 I'd rather fight a heavyweight than a 135-pounder, though, just to be hit a thousand times in the head.

01:39:25.000 That's the punch.

01:39:27.000 That should be a t-shirt.

01:39:28.000 Just the silhouette of that.

01:39:30.000 It's interesting you say that with DC. I just know, as little as we know Mickey Gall, as much as we've been friends with him for a short amount of time, even...

01:39:40.000 Like, when he fights, there's some different, like, stakes on it.

01:39:43.000 As a buddy, you're like...

01:39:45.000 It's hard.

01:39:45.000 And you must see that a lot.

01:39:46.000 It's hard.

01:39:46.000 And you're calling it.

01:39:47.000 Yeah.

01:39:48.000 Like, you can't really put much...

01:39:48.000 It's hard for me when cowboy fights.

01:39:50.000 Oof.

01:39:51.000 I root against Bisping.

01:39:52.000 Those are hard.

01:39:52.000 Actually.

01:39:54.000 It was really hard when Brendan was fighting him.

01:39:57.000 That was real hard.

01:39:58.000 I'm real tight with him.

01:40:00.000 We're really good friends.

01:40:01.000 He wasn't really doing it anymore.

01:40:03.000 He was still in it, but he wasn't really 100% in.

01:40:07.000 He was thinking about other things.

01:40:08.000 He was thinking about when he gets out.

01:40:10.000 He didn't have the same focus and intensity and training as he used to.

01:40:13.000 That's hard.

01:40:14.000 That's not the sport to do that anymore.

01:40:15.000 No, it's hard.

01:40:16.000 Whenever you're thinking about getting out, get out!

01:40:19.000 Get out! 0.98

01:40:20.000 Because there's people that aren't thinking about getting out.

01:40:22.000 And you've got to think about what we were talking about earlier.

01:40:24.000 Mike Tyson is prime.

01:40:25.000 Angry at everything.

01:40:26.000 If you're thinking about getting out and you run in front of a guy like that...

01:40:30.000 Or a girl like that. 1.00

01:40:32.000 There's female kickboxers that are like that too. 1.00

01:40:34.000 They're just fucking vicious, man. 1.00

01:40:35.000 And they're waiting. 1.00

01:40:36.000 You think you're half in, half out, thinking about cheerleading?

01:40:38.000 Wham!

01:40:39.000 Shin to the face.

01:40:41.000 You've got to be all in. 0.90

01:40:42.000 You're saying at the end Brendan could have been beaten by a woman?

01:40:44.000 Yes.

01:40:45.000 Am I following you correctly? 0.97

01:40:47.000 I think at the fucking highest levels of any combat sport, you have to be all in. 0.96

01:40:52.000 I don't think that's something you could dabble in. 0.94

01:40:55.000 It's a hard thing, though, because I think in MMA, luckily Brendan is a podcaster, comedian.

01:41:00.000 I think a lot of other guys, they don't have the same...

01:41:03.000 But they could do other stuff, like Tyron Woodley's rapping.

01:41:06.000 Tyron Woodley has businesses.

01:41:07.000 I know he's doing something with CBD. I know he did a record with Wiz Khalifa.

01:41:12.000 I know he does a lot of TMZ stuff.

01:41:14.000 He's a funny dude.

01:41:15.000 I think you have to become the, look, Tyron's champion.

01:41:17.000 Tyron's smart.

01:41:18.000 Champion, though.

01:41:18.000 He has a huge name.

01:41:19.000 He was, but he's still, he's working.

01:41:21.000 See, he lost his title to Usman, but yet he's still doing all these other things.

01:41:25.000 Of course, but I think it's easier when you have that name.

01:41:28.000 You're a former UFC champion. 1.00

01:41:29.000 I think that alone will probably sort of set you up, as long as you're not a complete idiot. 1.00

01:41:33.000 I think? 1.00

01:41:50.000 Yeah.

01:42:05.000 It takes a minimum 5 to 10 years to figure out if you're going to even be good enough to do it professionally, right?

01:42:10.000 And then at that point, it's your whole life.

01:42:12.000 So that's why you never see people quitting.

01:42:13.000 Nobody quits comedy.

01:42:14.000 You see a lot of people that maybe they start at like 20, and like by 30, they're 10 years in.

01:42:19.000 And if it's not working out for you, you took the 10 years when you were supposed to be...

01:42:31.000 Yeah, but how do you gauge that now?

01:42:33.000 Because you could do comedy for six months and have a YouTube video where you can make $25,000 on a Sunday doing one Sunday show at an improv.

01:42:44.000 But have you watched that guy's YouTube channel?

01:42:45.000 Oh, so that's rare.

01:42:46.000 That doesn't happen too often.

01:42:47.000 It's not that rare.

01:42:48.000 I think it's rare that there's, you know, guys that are doing comedy for six months that are making...

01:42:52.000 Oh, six months.

01:42:53.000 Sure, sure, sure.

01:42:53.000 The extreme example, yeah, for sure.

01:42:55.000 For real, it shouldn't mean anything to us.

01:42:57.000 No, no, it doesn't.

01:42:58.000 I'm just saying, I'm just making a point that it's not really, there's so many alternative routes now.

01:43:01.000 No, I'm just saying it's for the guy who puts them in.

01:43:04.000 Yeah, but even with what Lewis said, like, I agree, technically, in, like, the growth of someone, like, ten years in, they've got their legs under them, like, good, and now they can start figuring out what their direction's going to be exactly and find their market.

01:43:18.000 That's how you become, like, a honed...

01:43:20.000 Great comic, hopefully, you know, but, like, you can get popular and have to work under the pressure of a sold-out theater at three years in the comedy.

01:43:28.000 That is crazy.

01:43:30.000 That's crazy.

01:43:31.000 I couldn't possibly imagine that, doing that.

01:43:34.000 Charlie Murphy did it in an even more insane way.

01:43:37.000 He was famous first, and then he became an open-miker.

01:43:40.000 That's got to be challenging.

01:43:42.000 Dude, sold out shows.

01:43:43.000 All he practices, only he's doing giant shows where everybody's coming to see him and Donnell and all these other comics.

01:43:50.000 And Donnell's a killer, by the way.

01:43:51.000 He's going up with monsters from the Chappelle show.

01:43:54.000 How about Jeremy Piven?

01:43:55.000 How about Jeremy Piven?

01:43:57.000 Even Brendan was a star when he started doing comedy.

01:43:59.000 He was already known, very known.

01:44:01.000 Yes, he was already known as a UFC fighter. 0.99

01:44:03.000 Yeah, but what Charlie Murphy did was do these sold-out fucking shows, and he was practicing. 0.96

01:44:10.000 I don't know how much time he spent before he went up on stage the first time, knowing that he was going to do stand-up. 0.98

01:44:19.000 I think it was pretty impressive.

01:44:20.000 He was also famous from the Chappelle show, and from two of the greatest comedy sketches ever done, that Dave Chappelle was acting out for him, and they were so funny.

01:44:31.000 And his brother's Eddie Murphy! 0.99

01:44:33.000 He's got the fucking... 0.99

01:44:34.000 So any expectation when you go in is like, I'm going to see the greatest comedian in the country, and he's doing his third set that he's ever done. 1.00

01:44:43.000 That's crazy.

01:44:44.000 Well, stand-up comedy is the only art form that you practice in front of the audience.

01:44:48.000 There's nothing else, and you have to.

01:44:50.000 The only way to do it is to practice in front of an audience.

01:44:53.000 You go sit at a painter's apartment and watch them paint. 0.99

01:44:55.000 Everyone else gets to master their craft by themselves in a fuck whatever it's it could be mixed martial arts in a gym could be in a garage or in a band whatever it is everyone else gets to figure it out but we from moment one is this naked thing we're like all right well let me and it's so douchey I think back to the first time like what fucking type of asshole would even give it a shot for the first time it's like going hey I just wrote this song today and they go well fucking sucks I'm not gonna clap for that terrible song you just wrote Next! 1.00

01:45:23.000 They wouldn't.

01:45:23.000 They would just go, at the end of it, they'd go, yeah, you played a song.

01:45:26.000 You can make a song in a vacuum. 0.82

01:45:28.000 I mean, there's guys who have created the most amazing fucking songs, and then they let you play them, or let you listen to them, and you're like, whoa, how long have you guys been working on this?

01:45:36.000 If you have friends that are in a band, and they're like, four months. 0.99

01:45:39.000 Like, holy shit.

01:45:41.000 They can do it all and put it together from start to finish without anybody else involved other than the producers and them. 0.99

01:45:47.000 We can't do that.

01:45:48.000 No.

01:45:48.000 We can't.

01:45:49.000 Anybody who tries is crazy.

01:45:52.000 Didn't somebody try to do a studio stand-up album? 0.59

01:45:56.000 Didn't someone?

01:45:57.000 No.

01:45:58.000 Well, there was the special...

01:45:59.000 Drodd Carmichael directed that one.

01:46:01.000 Drew Michaels.

01:46:02.000 That's right.

01:46:03.000 Drew Michaels did the No Audience comedy show.

01:46:06.000 Yeah.

01:46:07.000 Take out the best part.

01:46:08.000 The room just got quiet. 0.98

01:46:12.000 Everyone trying to not shit on Drew Michael. 0.98

01:46:14.000 I was just doing an impression of his audience. 0.97

01:46:17.000 I was quite confused.

01:46:19.000 It was confusing.

01:46:20.000 But what do you do?

01:46:21.000 You're Drew Michael, you're a young comic, 10 years in, HBO. You're like, I gotta do it.

01:46:25.000 Fuck. 1.00

01:46:25.000 I gotta do it. 1.00

01:46:26.000 Jericho Mark wants to produce it and no audience.

01:46:27.000 Let's see what happens.

01:46:28.000 There's no way you could feel anything other than weird doing stand-up that you're used to doing in front of an audience to no audience.

01:46:34.000 You would be fighting feeling weird the entire time you were talking because you know there's no one there.

01:46:39.000 So you're just talking to a camera.

01:46:42.000 And it's also, the audience that's watching, to be honest with you, needs a laugh track.

01:46:46.000 The reason laugh tracks exist on TV shows is because the audience sometimes, they just need to be told, here's the moment, there we go.

01:46:53.000 Right, but Curb Your Enthusiasm doesn't have a laugh track.

01:46:55.000 It's one of the funniest shows of all time.

01:46:57.000 It's not the laugh track, it's the energy that creates.

01:47:00.000 Just that you're watching this performance, you're part of something, you're supposed to be laughing along with them.

01:47:05.000 Yeah.

01:47:05.000 Like, laughing...

01:47:07.000 If a guy, if Drew Michael came to you in person and started saying those funny things to you, like, with that tone, you'd be like, this is uncomfortable.

01:47:14.000 Even if they're funny things... 1.00

01:47:15.000 Get the fuck away from me, dude! 0.99

01:47:16.000 You'd feel weird to go... 1.00

01:47:17.000 What are you doing?

01:47:17.000 You'd feel weird when you hit a punchline to go...

01:47:19.000 It's like, just you and him is too...

01:47:22.000 It's too intimate.

01:47:24.000 Right, you're not even...

01:47:26.000 When you're doing stand-up, like you and one person. 0.99

01:47:30.000 Right, who the fuck would ever talk like that? 0.98

01:47:32.000 That only works in front of large people. 0.99

01:47:34.000 So you're taking something that only works in front of groups of people.

01:47:37.000 Hey Joe, did you ever go to a convenience store and the guy working there is looking at you like you're not going to buy it?

01:47:41.000 Why are you saying it like this?

01:47:43.000 This is so weird.

01:47:44.000 So I says to the guy I says.

01:47:46.000 But stand-up comedy is not just talking.

01:47:47.000 It is using the pauses and using the timing and using the moments where they're supposed to laugh.

01:47:52.000 There's so much more to it than just saying the jokes.

01:47:55.000 You know, that's the side of where you go, it's like, I just don't...

01:47:58.000 As an experiment, I get it.

01:47:59.000 As like a YouTube video, I get it.

01:48:01.000 But as your first big special, I would want there to be an audience there.

01:48:04.000 Oh, yeah.

01:48:05.000 Yeah, probably.

01:48:07.000 100%.

01:48:07.000 But I think Gerard is just a creative guy, and he had this idea, and he just ran with it.

01:48:12.000 I heard he wanted to do it for himself.

01:48:14.000 Did you see the Aziz one?

01:48:14.000 Yeah, he said he wanted to do it for himself.

01:48:16.000 Did you see the Aziz one?

01:48:17.000 Where Spike Jones was on stage the whole time?

01:48:19.000 And they filmed it where you could see the back...

01:48:22.000 Behind the stage?

01:48:23.000 Some people mulling around in the back?

01:48:26.000 I found it distracting.

01:48:28.000 Extremely distracting.

01:48:30.000 I didn't understand why that would be a good idea.

01:48:33.000 This isn't like you happen to be filming.

01:48:35.000 Oh, we're up in a film as he's working out here, and you see a bunch of people in the background, but it doesn't matter.

01:48:40.000 The material's good.

01:48:41.000 You'll enjoy this. 0.98

01:48:42.000 No, this is a fucking special. 0.95

01:48:44.000 You're intentionally making it what it's If you want to have concept to the thing, or concept to kind of bookend the show, it seems like it's all like, hey, look over here, to be like, I really didn't have an hour I'm super happy with. 0.96

01:48:58.000 I haven't seen the material of it to know, I'm not saying Aziz, it's not a good hour, I just feel like when you're throwing...

01:49:04.000 I would want less fluff to draw to like, hey, listen to these jokes.

01:49:08.000 Please don't pay attention.

01:49:10.000 We have the first ever overhead 3D camera on this shot.

01:49:14.000 It's Spike Jonze, so I think you don't get it.

01:49:16.000 I think it's one of those things where it's like, hey man, I'd love it if you directed it, and he'd be like, okay, but I want to do something different.

01:49:21.000 Right.

01:49:21.000 And then you're like, I trust you.

01:49:22.000 You're a master at what you do.

01:49:23.000 I'm a master at what I do.

01:49:24.000 Let's collaborate.

01:49:25.000 And I get it.

01:49:26.000 It was like when Steve Jobs, the first Apple logo, he just paid $250,000 for.

01:49:32.000 And the deal was he didn't get any revisions.

01:49:34.000 He got to have a conversation about what he wanted to feel. 0.97

01:49:38.000 And then this weird fucking artist went and created the logo and was like, here it is. 0.98

01:49:42.000 And that's that. 0.99

01:49:43.000 Hmm.

01:49:44.000 Okay, that's a bad deal.

01:49:46.000 Maybe Steve Jobs is not the businessman we imagined.

01:49:49.000 It's a lot of money for a dude. 0.99

01:49:51.000 I may or may not use your fucking design. 0.99

01:49:53.000 You just need to see it first. 0.99

01:49:56.000 Can I see a sketch?

01:49:59.000 What do you think he was going to do?

01:50:00.000 $250,000?

01:50:01.000 We're not even successful yet.

01:50:03.000 We don't even have a logo.

01:50:04.000 It was pretty easy.

01:50:05.000 $250, and if I like it...

01:50:08.000 Can you create a logo for my company?

01:50:11.000 What's it called?

01:50:12.000 Apple?

01:50:13.000 Yeah, I got an idea. 1.00

01:50:14.000 I got a bite out of it, bitch. 1.00

01:50:18.000 He took a quarter mil and banged that out in six minutes. 1.00

01:50:22.000 Is there a fucking thing that divides this country more than right-left? 0.99

01:50:25.000 It might be Android versus iPhone. 0.99

01:50:28.000 Yeah, but people aren't like boycotting businesses over it.

01:50:31.000 No, they're not.

01:50:32.000 But people look down on people with Android phones.

01:50:34.000 They sure do.

01:50:35.000 It's amazing.

01:50:36.000 Why?

01:50:36.000 Like they're less than?

01:50:39.000 It's just one of those things.

01:50:40.000 It's like, if you have an iPhone, you're in. 0.99

01:50:42.000 And if you have an Android phone, you're on that other fucking team. 0.99

01:50:45.000 It's just like the bare minimum. 1.00

01:50:46.000 If you don't have an iPhone, you're a fucking loser. 1.00

01:50:49.000 That's what it is. 1.00

01:50:50.000 I was an Android guy for years, and I used to be one of the guys like, what's the big difference? 0.99

01:50:54.000 Who gives a shit? 0.99

01:50:55.000 And then I got an iPhone, and I was like, oh, I get it. 0.99

01:50:57.000 What is the difference?

01:50:59.000 The difference is just...

01:51:01.000 The way your fingers...

01:51:02.000 It's the sleekness of the actual pieces.

01:51:04.000 Just whatever it is from going from one thing to the next.

01:51:08.000 If you're opening up a text or going to a phone, everything is just very seamless and it's smooth and it feels very natural and very nice.

01:51:14.000 And Android, because so many different people use that sort of Android platform, it's always clunky and it's not exactly the same, so it never feels as smooth.

01:51:22.000 Once you get used to your iPhone, that's that.

01:51:25.000 I agree.

01:51:25.000 I know very successful people that stick by Android.

01:51:29.000 The newest Android phones are pretty fucking smooth.

01:51:32.000 If you picked up like... 0.74

01:51:34.000 Galaxies, whatever.

01:51:37.000 Yeah, like a Galaxy S10. Those are a smooth fucking phone, man. 0.99

01:51:40.000 Those things are as good as anything. 0.99

01:51:42.000 There's a bunch of phones now on the side of Android that rival or are better than iPhones.

01:51:49.000 Yeah, with some of the technologies ahead.

01:51:51.000 The Note 10 that just came out.

01:51:52.000 Is there one that's not Android or iPhone that's dope that people just don't know about?

01:51:57.000 There's no other operating system, which is really weird.

01:51:59.000 It's like you have three operating systems.

01:52:01.000 You have iPhones, you have Android, and there's still a few people that have Windows phones, believe it or not.

01:52:08.000 Blackberry? 0.99

01:52:08.000 Well, who the fuck uses that? 0.99

01:52:10.000 I think they came out with a new Blackberry. 1.00

01:52:13.000 Tom Segura uses a Blackberry?

01:52:14.000 He loves it, yeah.

01:52:15.000 I think that's a joke, bro.

01:52:16.000 I think that's a gag.

01:52:18.000 If I text him, it goes blue. 1.00

01:52:19.000 He's got a fucking iPhone. 1.00

01:52:21.000 It's like Ori. 1.00

01:52:22.000 Ori pretends to not have a fucking real phone. 0.99

01:52:25.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:52:25.000 Ori's got multiple phones, pads. 0.99

01:52:27.000 He's a fucking phony asshole. 1.00

01:52:28.000 I talked to him about it one time. 1.00

01:52:29.000 He does have it, but he doesn't use it.

01:52:31.000 Oh, he hasn't.

01:52:32.000 Okay.

01:52:32.000 Yeah, he's got it.

01:52:33.000 I think it was a joke, though.

01:52:35.000 I think he really did miss those little...

01:52:36.000 If you had a Blackberry back in the day, the thing about texting people, you knew where everything was.

01:52:41.000 You knew where those buttons were.

01:52:42.000 You could text pretty quick.

01:52:43.000 That little ball would break. 0.98

01:52:44.000 It was so fucking annoying. 0.98

01:52:45.000 Yeah, that thing would break. 0.73

01:52:48.000 The difference between that and an iPhone is pretty substantial, but the difference between iPhones and Android is not substantial anymore. 0.91

01:52:56.000 The new Android operating system is pretty fucking small. 0.76

01:52:58.000 I know the iPhone. 0.98

01:52:59.000 I can't go back.

01:53:00.000 I just know it.

01:53:01.000 I don't want to relearn a new phone.

01:53:02.000 I sat down with a PC the other day.

01:53:04.000 The iPhone is now, since Steve Jobs is gone, that iPhone's catching up on the technology to Android.

01:53:10.000 A lot of things you go, look what my iPhone does now.

01:53:13.000 Someone has Android.

01:53:14.000 We've had two generations of that technology already.

01:53:17.000 The argument, though, would be that they wait until the technology is out and all the bugs are knocked out of it, and then they give you a superior version of it.

01:53:23.000 That's the argument. 0.80

01:53:25.000 I mean, look, it's the most successful company in the fucking history of the known universe. 1.00

01:53:28.000 It's shit-fucked tons of cash. 1.00

01:53:30.000 I can't believe they didn't get the folding phone first. 1.00

01:53:34.000 I don't think that thing's worth a fuck. 0.99

01:53:36.000 I want a folding phone. 0.99

01:53:37.000 I couldn't guess it.

01:53:37.000 It looks like it's weird.

01:53:39.000 What are we doing here?

01:53:39.000 Making it fatter?

01:53:40.000 Origami.

01:53:40.000 How about just give me this?

01:53:41.000 This is a good shape, you folks.

01:53:43.000 They're just constantly...

01:53:44.000 We've got to figure out how to get it in your body.

01:53:47.000 If you can roll it up like a little fortune cookie.

01:53:51.000 The thing I'm worried about is the Elon Musk thing.

01:53:53.000 The Neuralink.

01:53:54.000 Are you hearing about that?

01:53:55.000 I'm not sure. 1.00

01:53:57.000 It's the next step to integrating computers with your fucking brain. 1.00

01:54:02.000 It's going to happen, right? 0.99

01:54:04.000 If it's not this Elon Musk thing doesn't do that, then the next thing will.

01:54:07.000 The ultimate goal is going to be we're going to have pieces in our body.

01:54:12.000 What's the name?

01:54:13.000 Chips.

01:54:13.000 Some computer thing.

01:54:15.000 The word of, like, merging with the body?

01:54:17.000 Singularity?

01:54:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:54:19.000 Symbiotic.

01:54:19.000 I was going to say cyborg.

01:54:20.000 Cyborg.

01:54:21.000 Symbiotic cyborg.

01:54:22.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:54:22.000 Well, that's true, too. 0.95

01:54:23.000 Singularity.

01:54:24.000 Singularity.

01:54:25.000 That's what I was thinking of.

01:54:26.000 Oh, the singularity is what they think would be the ultimate technological innovation that radically transforms mankind.

01:54:33.000 And they move that number around.

01:54:35.000 And I think the singularity they think for artificial intelligence, there was a symposium in New York a few years back that Ari and I and Duncan Trussell went to.

01:54:43.000 I think it was like 2045. That's when they think.

01:54:46.000 They think at 2045, these things are going to go live.

01:54:49.000 And there will be robot, just like ex machina type people walking around with us.

01:54:55.000 Oh, for sure. 0.99

01:54:56.000 I mean, I think I heard part of the conversation you had with Elon Musk, and it was one of the most interesting things, because for a while I was going, yeah, dude, if you just put your phone down, people don't really give a shit. 0.96

01:55:05.000 You go to the supermarket, people aren't arguing about politics, but eventually what's going to happen is the phones are going to be in our fucking brains, and you're never going to be able to put the phone down. 0.93

01:55:12.000 And it's going to be, that's the world we live in, where we are just at war. 0.99

01:55:15.000 And that's where it's fucking scary. 0.91

01:55:17.000 That's what I don't like about it. 0.97

01:55:18.000 Did we jump in too quick, too?

01:55:19.000 Hasn't there already been a whole bunch of self-driving car podcasts?

01:55:23.000 Accidents.

01:55:23.000 Terrible things happen.

01:55:25.000 Way more human accidents.

01:55:27.000 It's better.

01:55:28.000 Is it more human accidents per amount of cars, though?

01:55:31.000 Do you know what I'm saying?

01:55:32.000 Self-driving cars, really, you're not supposed to just sit there.

01:55:37.000 You're supposed to hold on to the wheel.

01:55:39.000 I keep a hand on the wheel.

01:55:40.000 It makes you do that.

01:55:41.000 You can't just drive it.

01:55:43.000 You can't just sit back.

01:55:45.000 It needs you to be engaged.

01:55:46.000 Tell that to little Duvall, who just takes videos of him taking a nap and smoking joints out the window.

01:55:51.000 He's not involved at all.

01:55:53.000 So can you get that blocked for the sensors?

01:55:56.000 I'm assuming it's a sensor type thing.

01:55:58.000 There's a thing that you can do that's actually like an iPhone mount.

01:56:01.000 Like a cell phone mount.

01:56:02.000 And it sits on the handle.

01:56:04.000 And it keeps pressure on the handle.

01:56:05.000 So the handle thinks that you're holding onto the handle.

01:56:08.000 And you have your iPhone on it.

01:56:09.000 Take that, robots! 0.97

01:56:11.000 So they sell it as an iPhone holder.

01:56:13.000 But really what it is is something that squeezes on the handle.

01:56:17.000 But they can't sell it as that.

01:56:18.000 Because that would be illegal.

01:56:20.000 It should be illegal. 0.86

01:56:21.000 It's pretty goddamn good, that thing.

01:56:23.000 But eventually, I way more trust AutoDrive.

01:56:27.000 I trust them to be able to come up with the technology where they have everything on perfect grids, where we all get in our cars, and the absolute fastest way for us to get from point A to point B is already mapped out. 0.96

01:56:38.000 Traffic, all that shit. 0.90

01:56:39.000 That's not that crazy. 0.99

01:56:40.000 I feel like that has to be within 20, 30 years.

01:56:44.000 Wait, it changes lanes and everything?

01:56:45.000 Oh, yeah.

01:56:46.000 Yeah, it changes lanes.

01:56:47.000 Did it blow your mind the first time you were on a highway with it?

01:56:49.000 It blows your mind.

01:56:49.000 Were you terrified the first time?

01:56:50.000 Does it blow you? 1.00

01:56:51.000 How cool would that be if it sucked your dick? 1.00

01:56:52.000 That's coming. 1.00

01:56:53.000 Oh, that's coming. 1.00

01:56:53.000 It probably won't ever suck your dick. 1.00

01:56:55.000 It'll probably just give you the experience in a chip. 1.00

01:56:57.000 While you click.

01:57:00.000 She appears.

01:57:02.000 3D hologram lady appears and starts blowing you. 0.99

01:57:04.000 It feels like it's real, but nothing's there.

01:57:06.000 It's Whitney Houston, your celebrities. 1.00

01:57:08.000 Wow. 0.98

01:57:08.000 Remember how they made the future in 80s movies, though, where the dick-sucking car would actually be like a hose would come out of the ground? 0.98

01:57:13.000 That would be the feeling. 0.98

01:57:14.000 Look at this.

01:57:15.000 A mouth hose. 1.00

01:57:16.000 Would you really trust that mouth hose with your cock? 1.00

01:57:19.000 I'm going to wait until the third or fourth version. 1.00

01:57:21.000 I watched Total Recall recently, which is like, you know, the future.

01:57:25.000 The new one or the old one?

01:57:25.000 Not Total Recall.

01:57:26.000 The running man.

01:57:28.000 Oh, wow.

01:57:28.000 And it was like, when he was holding the girl hostage, she was in the house like, let's look up what flights are around.

01:57:34.000 And it's just such obvious, like Atari graphics on the screen.

01:57:37.000 It's like the year 2050. No one really has good ideas of what the future's going to be.

01:57:43.000 Even Minority Report, when they're moving stuff around on the screen.

01:57:46.000 Maybe, maybe someday.

01:57:47.000 But no one's done anything where you go, wow, that would be amazing if that was it.

01:57:52.000 I'm sure there was a list.

01:57:54.000 That's sort of the Apple thing, though, is that Apple tries to make their stuff live up to what they made like 1950s space movies.

01:58:00.000 Everything's like very metallic and sleek looking.

01:58:04.000 Like the Gattaca, the uniform. 0.90

01:58:06.000 Well, the packaging as well.

01:58:08.000 Apple's a great company.

01:58:08.000 They really are.

01:58:09.000 But when you open up an iPhone or an Apple product...

01:58:11.000 The packaging, it has like an air thing where it lifts naturally.

01:58:15.000 And it's all based off the experience.

01:58:17.000 Like when you open it, you go, I've never opened another product like this.

01:58:20.000 And they do that on purpose. 0.98

01:58:21.000 And it's this subconscious thing that they fucking put into your mind. 0.91

01:58:23.000 And that's why you go, dude, just, I don't know what it is, dude. 0.92

01:58:26.000 iPhone.

01:58:26.000 I can't put my finger on it.

01:58:27.000 That's why chicks buy expensive bags. 1.00

01:58:29.000 Yep.

01:58:30.000 Same thing.

01:58:31.000 Like, ooh, ah, quality.

01:58:35.000 This will last forever.

01:58:37.000 If you write, though, if you write a lot and type a lot, they're the shittiest. 1.00

01:58:40.000 Their fucking keyboards are dog shit. 1.00

01:58:42.000 The new ones, they're clickety-clickety-clickety. 1.00

01:58:45.000 There's no travel. 0.98

01:58:46.000 They're just clickety-clickety-clickety-clickety, and shit gets stuck in them, and they're trying to figure out how to fix that. 0.61

01:58:51.000 My spacebar doesn't work on my Apple, so I've copied the space. 0.94

01:58:55.000 So whenever I write, I have to...

01:58:56.000 It's just not comfortable for typing on. 0.96

01:58:59.000 How much fucking thinner does it have to be? 0.98

01:59:02.000 Jesus Christ. 0.98

01:59:02.000 I know you guys are trying to make them thin, but make them so they're comfortable to type on. 0.98

01:59:06.000 All you have to do is make it thicker.

01:59:08.000 It doesn't have to be that thin, man.

01:59:10.000 Yeah, a big old gray keyboard is the most comfortable thing.

01:59:13.000 The old school thing that we learned.

01:59:14.000 But I think it's because we learned how to type on that.

01:59:16.000 No, it's because they're mechanical.

01:59:17.000 Your fingers feel the tactile sensation of pushing in those springs.

01:59:22.000 So it's like clickety-clickety-click, clickety-click, and your fingers know where the keys are.

01:59:26.000 When you don't get any feedback, you make a lot of errors.

01:59:29.000 Like, it's not as easy.

01:59:30.000 It takes a long time to get accustomed to that short-travel keyboard that you get on those really thin MacBooks.

01:59:35.000 I have a 2015 MacBook. 0.99

01:59:39.000 I got an old one refurbished, because I hate the fucking new keyboard. 0.98

01:59:43.000 It's like, I don't know what I'm touching. 0.99

01:59:44.000 It's not moving.

01:59:46.000 It's so shallow.

01:59:48.000 But apparently they've got to fix that.

01:59:50.000 Dude, I have an IBM, or not an IBM, a Lenovo ThinkPad.

01:59:53.000 That thing is like the old IBM ThinkPad.

01:59:57.000 Lenovo bought the company, and now they make them.

01:59:59.000 You feel the keys.

02:00:01.000 It's like, as you're typing, they have like 1.5 millimeters of travel, which is like clickety-clickety-click.

02:00:07.000 Next time I come in, me and Joe, we're going to have a typing competition.

02:00:11.000 I think I could...

02:00:12.000 I make no mistakes with the new Apple.

02:00:14.000 It's fine.

02:00:15.000 I think once you're used to it, you're used to it.

02:00:17.000 Maybe.

02:00:17.000 I think you need to let yourself go to the new technology.

02:00:19.000 I'd use both of them, but I like the typing way better on the Lenovo.

02:00:23.000 It's just...

02:00:24.000 This is not like just me.

02:00:26.000 This is a big...

02:00:27.000 The thing that people who write a lot say is that you want something that has a lot of key travel.

02:00:33.000 Because 1.5, preferably maybe even 1.8 millimeter, something like that, when you're doing that, you get a real good feel of where the keys are.

02:00:41.000 You don't fuck up as much.

02:00:42.000 You also feel like you know you've hit the button. 0.98

02:00:45.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:00:45.000 It gives you this feedback, and you don't think about...

02:00:48.000 What I find is that I'm writing on one of those things.

02:00:51.000 I don't think about...

02:00:52.000 The keys as much as I'm concentrating on writing.

02:00:56.000 Otherwise I'm like...

02:00:57.000 That little extra thing where you gotta look down. 0.96

02:01:01.000 Oh, I fucked up and I hit that instead of that. 0.86

02:01:03.000 That doesn't happen as much. 0.97

02:01:05.000 Way less.

02:01:06.000 How often are you guys washing your keyboards?

02:01:07.000 Never!

02:01:08.000 It's brutal.

02:01:09.000 I feel bad every time my son touches my computer and I'm like, ooh.

02:01:13.000 It's probably keeping them healthy.

02:01:15.000 Dude, it's funny. 0.99

02:01:16.000 There's so much fucking bacteria on that computer. 0.99

02:01:19.000 I got a keyboard cover. 0.99

02:01:19.000 I'm going to use that dust blast thing. 0.99

02:01:21.000 It's great.

02:01:22.000 Oh, yeah, man.

02:01:22.000 I don't use any of that.

02:01:23.000 Just blow and come right out of your circuit board. 0.98

02:01:25.000 Everything is gross. 1.00

02:01:26.000 Your fucking kitchen table's gross. 1.00

02:01:28.000 Everything's gross. 1.00

02:01:28.000 I know. 1.00

02:01:29.000 Do you think about homeless people touching guardrails?

02:01:31.000 It's like, you go and touch that, like, ah!

02:01:33.000 Homeless people don't get sick.

02:01:34.000 The subway rails must be just...

02:01:36.000 Oh, it's brutal.

02:01:38.000 The amount of times I've done this in New York City, like I'll be going to put my hand on the...

02:01:42.000 And I just don't touch handrails anymore, and I make sure that my son doesn't.

02:01:44.000 But I've just been putting my hand down the rail, and then I just pick up a booger.

02:01:47.000 Like a human booger. 0.74

02:01:48.000 And I'm like, okay, that just ruined my week.

02:01:51.000 The story just ruined my hour. 1.00

02:01:54.000 Damn, dude. 0.99

02:01:54.000 I've definitely said... 0.99

02:01:56.000 So you're going to flick it and then it gets stuck on your thumb and you flick it again and it gets stuck on that finger?

02:02:00.000 Something about other dudes' boogers.

02:02:01.000 There's no way.

02:02:02.000 That would end my day.

02:02:04.000 And your own kid's booger. 0.97

02:02:05.000 I'll pick my son's nose in a heartbeat. 0.85

02:02:06.000 That's different, though.

02:02:08.000 That's your own son.

02:02:09.000 I mean, he's six now.

02:02:10.000 You should stop.

02:02:11.000 Definitely stop picking his nose.

02:02:13.000 How old is it when you'd be really concerned if your son is still sucking their thumb?

02:02:18.000 How many years in? 1.00

02:02:19.000 Shit. 1.00

02:02:20.000 When it's a dick. 1.00

02:02:21.000 Wait! 0.99

02:02:22.000 That's not what we're talking about.

02:02:23.000 When it's not a thumb anymore.

02:02:24.000 Be concerned until you confirm and then go, okay, well, now I know.

02:02:29.000 My son never sucked his thumb, so...

02:02:31.000 If you had a kid, though.

02:02:33.000 If you had a boy.

02:02:34.000 I have a girl. 0.97

02:02:35.000 She never sucked his thumb either. 0.99

02:02:36.000 She loves sucking thumb. 1.00

02:02:37.000 You don't have any kids.

02:02:38.000 I got an eight-month-old.

02:02:39.000 Oh, you do?

02:02:40.000 Oh, congratulations.

02:02:41.000 I didn't know you were out there breeding.

02:02:43.000 I am.

02:02:43.000 Congratulations.

02:02:44.000 Now you've become even more libertarian, correct?

02:02:46.000 Yeah, but not with her.

02:02:47.000 I'm an authoritarian with my baby.

02:02:49.000 I make the decisions there.

02:02:51.000 That's a good move.

02:02:52.000 Don't let babies call the shots. 1.00

02:02:53.000 No.

02:02:54.000 It'll be just sugar and guns. 0.99

02:02:56.000 But I'm...

02:03:01.000 Teach a baby how to shoot a gun. 0.85

02:03:02.000 A baby could actively shoot a gun. 1.00

02:03:05.000 Like, you know how much of a fucking giant problem that would be? 0.99

02:03:07.000 Like, if a baby was just like... 0.98

02:03:09.000 Now I'm feeling like I'm not enough of a libertarian.

02:03:12.000 Yeah, because...

02:03:13.000 Here's a gun.

02:03:13.000 Go homestead some land.

02:03:14.000 Their body can't really hold a gun and shoot it, right?

02:03:18.000 It would go flying.

02:03:18.000 There's no way.

02:03:19.000 But if they could...

02:03:21.000 Do you know what a great time they would think it would be to shoot things? 1.00

02:03:24.000 If you're a fucking baby and you had a gun, you're just like... 1.00

02:03:29.000 They love it. 1.00

02:03:30.000 The projectiles, my son.

02:03:31.000 There's Nerf guns. 0.96

02:03:32.000 That's how I know he's not gay. 1.00

02:03:33.000 He loves to shoot things. 1.00

02:03:35.000 There's a lot of gay people that shoot things. 1.00

02:03:37.000 No. 0.99

02:03:38.000 That's how I know he's not gay. 1.00

02:03:39.000 He kept shooting his friend in the face the other day.

02:03:41.000 What do you think about bears? 0.99

02:03:42.000 I think he was hiding the bullets in his butt. 0.87

02:03:44.000 If you had a bunch of bears that you couldn't take them out to a shotgun range and shoot clay pigeons. 1.00

02:03:51.000 Yeah, for like 15 minutes before they start fucking each other. 1.00

02:03:53.000 Yeah, eventually. 0.98

02:03:54.000 Yeah.

02:03:55.000 Like, oh my god, the shape of this guy is getting me so horny.

02:03:57.000 They're guys.

02:03:58.000 They're just guys who like guys.

02:04:00.000 They got the wacky wire. 0.70

02:04:01.000 But the gay kids that I grow up, I'm sure, yes, there are gay guys who like to do doodly dude things, right? 1.00

02:04:06.000 Oh, definitely. 0.90

02:04:08.000 But...

02:04:08.000 Doodly dude things.

02:04:10.000 You know, fuck out of dudes. 1.00

02:04:11.000 I mean, how many gay friends do you have that are like, we should really go shooting guns right now. 1.00

02:04:15.000 Let's go hunt. 0.99

02:04:17.000 I bet there's a bunch.

02:04:18.000 They want to shop!

02:04:18.000 And that's fine!

02:04:19.000 They want to shop!

02:04:20.000 They do!

02:04:20.000 They want to go...

02:04:21.000 Some of them, but isn't it like girls? 0.83

02:04:23.000 Like, there's girls that are like woodsy girls. 1.00

02:04:25.000 Girls who want to live in the woods and shit. 1.00

02:04:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:04:27.000 I think these are exceptions. 1.00

02:04:28.000 Yeah, if you're a gay, like, mountain-y guy, and you're into other mountain-y guys, probably gonna have an alright life. 0.65

02:04:34.000 Yeah. 0.67

02:04:34.000 That's also pretty hot. 0.67

02:04:35.000 Gay mountain-y guys alone, just fucking bolting down the door before they butt-fuck, looking out the window, making sure the neighbors don't know what... 1.00

02:04:43.000 So are you fellas brothers and sisters? 1.00

02:04:46.000 Brother and brother?

02:04:47.000 What's going on here? 1.00

02:04:47.000 They run a seasonal marina, and then they just suck and fuck in the off-season. 1.00

02:04:51.000 Yeah, you go down the road where those two homos live. 1.00

02:04:53.000 Yeah. 0.95

02:04:54.000 Those two woodsy homos. 1.00

02:04:56.000 There's a couple of whatever.

02:04:58.000 There's a couple of how-do-you-do's living in the old fishing house.

02:05:01.000 Don't get me wrong.

02:05:02.000 Great guys.

02:05:03.000 Great guys.

02:05:04.000 I got no problem.

02:05:05.000 No problem with them. 1.00

02:05:06.000 All they do is chop wood and butt fuck. 1.00

02:05:08.000 That was the Bagel Boss guy when he said that. 1.00

02:05:10.000 He goes, I got no problem with gay people. 0.99

02:05:12.000 He goes, just don't touch me, you know? 0.99

02:05:14.000 Especially in the private area.

02:05:15.000 Then we'll have the problem.

02:05:16.000 I go, is that what your life's worried about? 1.00

02:05:18.000 You don't want to hang out around gay people because they're probably just going to start grabbing viciously at your dick? 1.00

02:05:22.000 Do you think that guy is going to stick in there? 1.00

02:05:25.000 Do you think he's going to be like Joe the Plumber?

02:05:27.000 Or do you think he's going to have some legs to him?

02:05:29.000 No, I think this is going to go away.

02:05:31.000 I think Lenny Dykstra is going to knock him out unconsciously.

02:05:33.000 He's 5'10". 0.99

02:05:34.000 I know he's got alcohol problems and shit, but he's got those big hands. 0.99

02:05:38.000 I saw the video of him getting arrested the other day. 1.00

02:05:40.000 He's going to hit the Bagel Boss?

02:05:42.000 Lenny Dykstra is fighting Bagel Boss in Celebrity Boxing.

02:05:46.000 Yeah.

02:05:47.000 That's terrible.

02:05:48.000 And Lenny Dykstra's, you know, older now, but I mean, he's Lenny Dykstra. 0.99

02:05:50.000 He's a lunatic. 0.96

02:05:51.000 He's only like 55, something like that. 1.00

02:05:53.000 Yeah, he looks like 70, but he's still a fucking stocky dude. 1.00

02:05:56.000 I mean, like, Lenny Dykstra's gonna fuck him up. 0.99

02:05:58.000 He's four foot eight. 0.99

02:06:00.000 He's, I mean...

02:06:01.000 Five, what's he?

02:06:02.000 He's four...

02:06:03.000 He's really small.

02:06:04.000 There's no chance.

02:06:05.000 There's no chance.

02:06:06.000 Don't.

02:06:07.000 You've seen that guy.

02:06:08.000 He went to someone's MMA gym and he was hanging out with a bunch of fighters and he was throwing punches and dancing around the ring.

02:06:15.000 I want to say Matt Serra.

02:06:16.000 Was it Matt Serra?

02:06:17.000 Chris Weidman?

02:06:18.000 Yeah, he's a Long Island guy.

02:06:19.000 Yeah, so he was out there.

02:06:22.000 He doesn't have a background in martial arts, like you could tell.

02:06:26.000 No, yeah, it's over.

02:06:27.000 He can't really fight.

02:06:28.000 And he's also out of shape.

02:06:30.000 He's out of shape, and he's a tiny little fella.

02:06:32.000 Fight like a butterfly, sting like a butterfly.

02:06:34.000 There's no...

02:06:36.000 Yeah, there's no learning how to fight, getting in shape, doing it all.

02:06:40.000 Like, yeah.

02:06:41.000 He's too small.

02:06:42.000 Yeah, Lenny Dexter looks like he's been in a bunch of fistfights.

02:06:45.000 I'm sorry he has.

02:06:45.000 Dude, he used to be like...

02:06:46.000 He got arrested like...

02:06:47.000 He was jacked at a point in his life.

02:06:49.000 I mean, like, shredded.

02:06:50.000 And you're not losing that strength.

02:06:51.000 You're not going to lose...

02:06:52.000 Even if he's out of shape, even if he's...

02:06:54.000 He's still a strong, like, bulky guy, I'm sure.

02:06:56.000 This isn't even a conversation. 0.99

02:06:58.000 He's going to kill him. 0.96

02:06:59.000 So you're saying lay heavy. 0.99

02:07:00.000 Lay heavy on Lenny.

02:07:01.000 You bet.

02:07:02.000 The whole...

02:07:04.000 He'll push it all in on Lenny Dykstra. 0.78

02:07:07.000 Are you crazy? 1.00

02:07:08.000 He's a fucking pro athlete. 1.00

02:07:10.000 I think there's no integrity in celebrity boxing, though. 1.00

02:07:12.000 I don't know if you could bet a zillion dollars.

02:07:14.000 Is that him now?

02:07:15.000 Yeah, it's him now.

02:07:17.000 He's only 55?

02:07:17.000 That's crazy.

02:07:19.000 No, he's older than that, isn't he?

02:07:21.000 Maybe a little bit older.

02:07:22.000 He's older than that.

02:07:23.000 I just looked it up the other day.

02:07:24.000 He's not that old.

02:07:24.000 He was a legit wild man.

02:07:26.000 Yeah, when he was that right there.

02:07:27.000 He looks like Mike Vickie.

02:07:29.000 That guy was a legit wild man.

02:07:33.000 Look at that.

02:07:33.000 Lenny Dystra indicted for drugs threats following arrest in May.

02:07:37.000 Yeah, he's winning this fight.

02:07:38.000 He's an Uber driver.

02:07:39.000 He was high on ecstasy and coke and got into an argument with his Uber driver and then threatened his life when the cops come.

02:07:44.000 Did he?

02:07:45.000 Yeah.

02:07:45.000 That's what happened?

02:07:46.000 Yeah, the cops come and they're like, yeah, this guy's saying he's a favorite for his life.

02:07:48.000 He's like, what?

02:07:49.000 For me?

02:07:49.000 For me!

02:07:50.000 He plays so innocent, it's hilarious.

02:07:53.000 Oh, that's funny.

02:07:53.000 And then they start checking his bag and he starts freaking out about them going through his bag.

02:07:57.000 He's 56. Wow.

02:07:58.000 Wow, I thought he was older than that even. 1.00

02:08:01.000 Damn. 1.00

02:08:01.000 He's living them hard years, son. 1.00

02:08:03.000 Ahead of Celebrity Fight. 1.00

02:08:05.000 Lenny Dykstra says Bagel Boss has one-inch penis. 1.00

02:08:07.000 That is outrageous. 1.00

02:08:09.000 Click on that, please.

02:08:10.000 This is so rude.

02:08:15.000 The world we live in. 1.00

02:08:16.000 Lenny Dykstra went on Howard Stern and he said he had girls come on to say how good he eats pussy and they were swearing him down. 0.99

02:08:23.000 It was a comic, so he brought comedians from LA. And then the comedians immediately just used it for a credit and then just debunked his whole thing. 0.99

02:08:32.000 So he flew them in for nothing.

02:08:34.000 Oh, that's funny.

02:08:36.000 It's crazy that he's going to hit that little guy.

02:08:39.000 Because that's so wrong.

02:08:42.000 I guess the little guy feels like he can just go down quick.

02:08:45.000 Yeah, in celebrity boxing, it doesn't usually get too brutal.

02:08:49.000 I think, you know... 0.90

02:08:50.000 This guy's going to punch him once and it might kill him.

02:08:53.000 I think Bonaduce used to go for it, though.

02:08:56.000 That's not going to help you.

02:08:57.000 Headgear doesn't help you at all.

02:08:59.000 Headgear sometimes makes it worse because you get all this extra weight and your head snaps more. 0.98

02:09:03.000 If you get headgear on, that's more shit that you have to control. 0.97

02:09:07.000 One of the things about having a strong neck is when you get punched, you can kind of control your head from moving around too much. 0.99

02:09:13.000 Some guys can take it better.

02:09:15.000 But if you have headgear on, it's like extra weight.

02:09:18.000 And your brain sloshes around inside your head.

02:09:20.000 I mean, it protects you from cuts more than anything.

02:09:23.000 There's an argument that it would protect you from cuts.

02:09:26.000 But protecting you from the thud? 1.00

02:09:28.000 Because it's the fucking rocking of your brain. 1.00

02:09:32.000 In some ways, it's a real mixed bag. 1.00

02:09:35.000 In some ways, it's better to have headgear on because it is a little more cushioning.

02:09:39.000 But in other ways, it's...

02:09:40.000 I think it makes it way more dangerous. 1.00

02:09:42.000 You followed it on and took it off, because I was surprised you did that, but you were like, just fuck it. 0.99

02:09:45.000 Well, I didn't want to fight with the headgear. 1.00

02:09:46.000 I tried to change it at the end, because I started sparring with it, and it fucking sucks dick, dude. 1.00

02:09:51.000 You can't breathe. 1.00

02:09:52.000 You can't see that good.

02:09:52.000 You can't see.

02:09:53.000 When you start grappling, you start feeling like you're being smothered right away, no matter what.

02:09:56.000 As soon as they touch your head, you feel like it starts moving up in your face.

02:10:00.000 So I tried to get them to take it off, and they wouldn't. 1.00

02:10:02.000 And then my headgear broke in the first minute of the fight, and they were like, all right, fuck it, take it off, because it was a shit show. 0.99

02:10:07.000 So we both took off our headgear, and I was like... 1.00

02:10:09.000 Alright, sweet.

02:10:10.000 Where's the rules?

02:10:12.000 Yeah.

02:10:13.000 Headgear's a tricky thing.

02:10:14.000 You know, it's like they think that about football helmets, too.

02:10:16.000 That there would actually be a safer game if they couldn't clash heads with a helmet on.

02:10:20.000 That they wouldn't do it.

02:10:21.000 They wouldn't play like that.

02:10:22.000 That's just not true.

02:10:24.000 Them clashing skulls is not safer.

02:10:26.000 It's not true.

02:10:28.000 But the idea is that the only reason why they play that way is because of the helmets and the shoulder gear.

02:10:32.000 But if you took that stuff away, they wouldn't play like that.

02:10:35.000 Well, back in the day, they barely had any pads in the 30s or 40s or whatever when they were playing with those little tiny helmets.

02:10:41.000 Bro, that game, if you were an outsider, if you didn't know how big it was, if you didn't understand anything about the cultural significance of football, and they showed you all the brain damage, and they showed you what it is, you'd be like, oh yeah, make that illegal.

02:10:54.000 Yeah, probably.

02:10:55.000 If anything, it should be illegal.

02:10:56.000 Stop doing that, kids.

02:10:57.000 It's too constant, yeah.

02:10:59.000 Don't just run into each other.

02:11:00.000 Don't smash heads.

02:11:01.000 That's crazy.

02:11:01.000 The concept of defensive-offensive line, just the idea that it's the funniest thing.

02:11:05.000 As soon as you say go, just clunk heads with another human being.

02:11:08.000 But of course, we don't want it to be illegal, and it's a fun thing to watch, and it's a great way for some guys to make a fuckload of money and weigh the risks versus the rewards.

02:11:17.000 Yeah, but then a bunch of middle schoolers are snapping their necks, and my kid will never play football.

02:11:21.000 Oh.

02:11:22.000 But where do you stop?

02:11:23.000 They could illegalize MMA with that justification.

02:11:27.000 I don't want that to happen.

02:11:28.000 Because punching and kicking is so inherently violent.

02:11:31.000 We see it as being this violent act, right? 1.00

02:11:34.000 We go, oh shit, fighting. 1.00

02:11:36.000 That's like crazy. 1.00

02:11:37.000 That's the most violent sport.

02:11:38.000 But it's so much less of a dangerous sport than football.

02:11:42.000 Football, these guys are just running headfirst at each other, and every one of them has major, major issues.

02:11:49.000 You also get blindsided in football.

02:11:50.000 You'll have your eye on someone, and then you get head-to-head taken out from someone else.

02:11:54.000 That doesn't happen as much in MMA, but...

02:11:58.000 I mean, when people get, like, head kicked, knocked, unconscious, that's not good for your brain.

02:12:03.000 No, but how often are football players being concussed?

02:12:05.000 All the time.

02:12:06.000 All the time, yeah.

02:12:08.000 And then they get up and they just do it again and again and again.

02:12:10.000 Well, now they're a little bit stricter, I think, on, like, if you get a concussion, they won't put you back in, at least the way they used to, like, when I was a kid.

02:12:18.000 But...

02:12:18.000 It's still happening all the time.

02:12:19.000 But I think fighters are getting concussed once a year, if they're getting knocked out once a year.

02:12:26.000 But there's also sub-concussive trauma, which seems to be the problem with CTE. It's not just the knockouts, it's just the thumps.

02:12:34.000 Over and over again.

02:12:36.000 And training, sparring.

02:12:38.000 They think that's the real problem.

02:12:39.000 That's why also soccer players are getting it.

02:12:41.000 Soccer players are starting to get CT. So what's worse, getting a Conor McGregor one-punch knockout or fighting Nick Diaz and just getting like...

02:12:49.000 That's a good question.

02:12:50.000 For five rounds.

02:12:51.000 You're probably better off getting one-punch knockout.

02:12:53.000 Flash knockout is probably better than...

02:12:55.000 Yeah, you're probably better off getting dropped. 0.98

02:12:56.000 Just getting beat up by Nick Diaz for 15 minutes would just suck. 0.96

02:12:59.000 Wasn't that the actual...

02:13:01.000 Wasn't the initial argument about MMA being...

02:13:04.000 Safer than boxing is that it's not so much...

02:13:07.000 With the gloves being bigger and boxing and all that stuff, it's actually worse because you're going to keep taking too many shots.

02:13:13.000 Well, standing eight count as well.

02:13:14.000 You can get knocked down and then get up and go right...

02:13:16.000 You'll be concussed and be like, all right, keep on fighting.

02:13:18.000 Whereas in MMA, they'll stop it if you're not defending yourself.

02:13:21.000 That's probably definitely better.

02:13:23.000 Yeah, the thing about...

02:13:24.000 8 counts and 10 counts.

02:13:26.000 But people have gotten off the deck and had amazing performances, so you never want to stop it.

02:13:30.000 Look at Tyson Fury.

02:13:31.000 Gets off the deck twice against Deontay Wilder.

02:13:34.000 In MMA, that fight would have been stopped.

02:13:37.000 Particularly the last round.

02:13:38.000 When he dropped him, he would have definitely punched him a few times and he would have been out cold.

02:13:42.000 Because he was flat.

02:13:43.000 Flat on his back.

02:13:46.000 In MMA, that would be the end of the fight. 0.98

02:13:48.000 We are lucky it wasn't, because he got up like a fucking superhero and even won the rest of the round. 0.97

02:13:55.000 He outboxed him for the rest of the round. 0.98

02:13:56.000 He survived the initial barrage and then started catching him as he was coming in and as Deontay was being reckless.

02:14:02.000 He caught him one time, like stung him. 0.98

02:14:04.000 And you're like, holy shit, he's winning this round now. 0.98

02:14:06.000 He's winning the rest of the round after getting almost obliterated. 0.99

02:14:10.000 So there's an argument that that's better.

02:14:12.000 The crazy thing from the CTE perspective about boxing to me is that people will get hit and then they get hit and grab someone because that's just everyone's instinct.

02:14:22.000 And they grab them and then you have a little ref who goes, no, no, no, no, no. 0.99

02:14:26.000 Keep punching at the heads.

02:14:28.000 Don't do anything to avoid from hitting. 0.90

02:14:29.000 No, no, no, no.

02:14:30.000 Step it back out.

02:14:30.000 And that in MMA, you'll see a lot.

02:14:32.000 Someone get hit and then they get into a clinch and you get a few minutes in a clinch where they're kind of like, okay, I'm not taking head damage right now.

02:14:39.000 But the smart thing about that is that's how you're supposed to fight.

02:14:43.000 You're giving people options to defend themselves.

02:14:45.000 It shouldn't be you can't defend yourself other than punching back.

02:14:49.000 That seems kind of crazy.

02:14:50.000 But I could grab them and just stop these punches.

02:14:53.000 No, no, no.

02:14:53.000 Against the rules.

02:14:54.000 What kind of rules do we have?

02:14:56.000 You can only beat me up if I let you beat me up? 1.00

02:14:58.000 You can both look like pussies and dance around for a half hour. 1.00

02:15:02.000 But do you remember the original Gracie videos that they'd make in early UFC? Gracie in action. 0.99

02:15:06.000 Yeah, and what they used to say all the time, and it's so true, what's so interesting is that if two boxers just have a street fight, they're going into a clinch, and it's probably going to end up on the ground at some point.

02:15:16.000 Sometimes, yeah.

02:15:17.000 The ref has to break up a clinch over and over and over again to make boxing happen. 0.95

02:15:22.000 Even when you're a professional boxer and you don't know anything about wrestling or grappling, you still end up grabbing the other guy because that's just like...

02:15:29.000 The only time that doesn't take place is when one guy knows how to strike and the other guy doesn't.

02:15:33.000 And you see a lot of those videos online where two dudes decide to get into some sort of a street altercation and one guy actually is like a boxer and he catches the guy and the guy falls and bounces his head off the concrete out cold.

02:15:45.000 There's a bunch of those videos.

02:15:46.000 Yeah, that's bad.

02:15:47.000 That's different.

02:15:47.000 See, the thing about the Gracie Jiu-Jitsu is, like, you've got to always be aware there's people like that out there.

02:15:52.000 There's always guys who can punch you in the face.

02:15:54.000 And if they know how to wrestle, too, and they can keep you away and just keep punching you in the face, you better know how to take them down.

02:16:00.000 You just don't know, dude. 1.00

02:16:01.000 Fuck, dude. 1.00

02:16:02.000 2019, you have no idea who knows who what. 1.00

02:16:04.000 Now people know shit. 1.00

02:16:05.000 You've got to look at their ears. 1.00

02:16:07.000 You've got to look for little signs, like, look in their eyes, shake their hands.

02:16:10.000 Look at the size of their necks.

02:16:11.000 Yeah, dude.

02:16:12.000 Dudes with skinny necks aren't getting choked. 1.00

02:16:14.000 But yeah, as far as skill, definitely you don't know.

02:16:17.000 It's a weird time for fighting.

02:16:19.000 I like both kinds.

02:16:21.000 I like just stand-up only fights.

02:16:23.000 I like watching those, and I like mixed martial arts fights.

02:16:26.000 But I think Terrence Crawford's coming on next, and I think watching someone like him box, when you see the skill level that that guy has, switching stances, doing all kinds of befuddling people, getting their range, figuring them out, and then just teeing them up with perfect timing.

02:16:42.000 That's...

02:16:43.000 Almost only possible that kind of artistry if there's no wrestling.

02:16:47.000 If there's no leg kicks.

02:16:48.000 If there's only the boxing.

02:16:49.000 That's the only way you see that.

02:16:51.000 That kind of beautiful combination. 0.99

02:16:53.000 Because otherwise you would do other shit too. 1.00

02:16:54.000 You would leg kick. 1.00

02:16:55.000 You would try to take them down.

02:16:57.000 The level of dominance that a real Floyd Mayweather, a real world champion boxer has with their hands, it's hard to really appreciate until you see it live and you know what you're seeing.

02:17:10.000 If you're in the building with a guy who's beating You guys are playing two totally different games.

02:17:19.000 I literally look at boxing as very much a sport, and I think MMA is the closest thing that we have to competitive fighting.

02:17:28.000 100%.

02:17:28.000 That's sort of the difference.

02:17:30.000 All things considered, it's still not fighting. 1.00

02:17:32.000 You can't grab somebody's fucking balls and yank them off their body and bite their nose. 1.00

02:17:37.000 You couldn't bite and you couldn't eye gouge. 1.00

02:17:41.000 Hit him with a fucking trash can lid. 1.00

02:17:43.000 You can't fish hook. 1.00

02:17:45.000 But you used to be able to punch the balls. 0.99

02:17:47.000 There was a fucking great video of Keith Hackney fighting Joe Son. 1.00

02:17:51.000 Joe Son got him in a headlock. 1.00

02:17:53.000 And Keith Hackney's just hammering his dick. 1.00

02:17:55.000 I mean, full blast punches. 1.00

02:17:56.000 Over and over again.

02:17:58.000 And you see Joe Son's going into shock.

02:18:00.000 He takes a few of them and he's like, I'm not letting go of this choke. 0.98

02:18:03.000 And then by like the fourth, fifth dick punch, it's like, this is all over, man. 0.99

02:18:07.000 It's over. 0.99

02:18:08.000 He was a drained man.

02:18:10.000 Who was, was it Kimo?

02:18:12.000 Was he headbutting Hoist Gracie? 0.70

02:18:13.000 Yeah, he headbutted him a bunch. 0.99

02:18:14.000 Yeah, dude, that was fucking brutal. 0.99

02:18:17.000 Brutal. 0.99

02:18:17.000 There was a lot of headbutting back in the days. 0.99

02:18:19.000 It was an effective weapon.

02:18:20.000 And it makes us like, oh, that's awful.

02:18:23.000 But there's all these other bones.

02:18:26.000 How come you're allowed to hit with these bones, but you can't hit with that bone?

02:18:29.000 Also, I would rather be headbutted by a guy that... 1.00

02:18:32.000 I don't give a shit. 0.99

02:18:33.000 There's not much technique in headbutting. 0.99

02:18:35.000 I would rather be headbutted than be headkicked by a dude who knows how to headkick.

02:18:39.000 There's no technique, but there really is.

02:18:41.000 There's guys that spar and they fight in Lethwe.

02:18:45.000 And Lethwe is a type of Muay Thai where they put ropes over their knuckles.

02:18:51.000 That's the only thing they have.

02:18:52.000 And they're allowed to headbutt. 1.00

02:18:54.000 And it's some wild ass shit. 1.00

02:18:56.000 And they do headbutt combinations on the pad. 1.00

02:18:58.000 Like they'll do tap, tap, bang!

02:19:00.000 They'll use their head and train it.

02:19:03.000 Wow.

02:19:03.000 See if you can find that.

02:19:05.000 Lethwe.

02:19:06.000 W-E-I-L-U-T-H. You know who does commentary for it? 1.00

02:19:11.000 It's our friend Robin Black.

02:19:12.000 He does commentary for Lethwe.

02:19:15.000 But this is a brutal form of Muay Thai where you're allowed to headbutt.

02:19:19.000 Because they already elbow.

02:19:20.000 And I think they're thinking, well, if I can knee and if I can punch, I can do all these things.

02:19:25.000 Why can I headbutt?

02:19:26.000 It's right there. 1.00

02:19:27.000 His fucking face is right there. 1.00

02:19:28.000 Just, ah! 1.00

02:19:29.000 Remember what Mark Coleman used to do?

02:19:31.000 He got a few UFCs in before the headbutts were illegal.

02:19:34.000 He would smash people with the headbutts.

02:19:37.000 Look at this combination. 0.98

02:19:38.000 This is a Robin Black breakdown.

02:19:43.000 This dude goes off to the side, pushes the dude's head away, and then immediately comes in with a perfect headbutt. 0.88

02:19:49.000 Boom.

02:19:50.000 He's just slamming him in the face on purpose with the top of his head.

02:19:53.000 So he's trying to hit like his eyes and his nose and the soft tissue.

02:19:57.000 He's trying to hit that with the hard part of his forehead.

02:19:59.000 Yeah, I think that will do a lot more damage than a fist.

02:20:02.000 I feel like a head butt only works one out of every thousand times.

02:20:07.000 No, man.

02:20:07.000 No, no, no.

02:20:08.000 No, this guy does it a lot.

02:20:10.000 And if you do it this way, the way he's doing it, you're taking a really hard part of your forehead and you're smashing against a soft part of the eyes and the nose. 0.99

02:20:20.000 This part of your forehead is hard as fuck, man. 0.98

02:20:23.000 Most guys who break their hand in fights break their hands on foreheads. 1.00

02:20:26.000 Top of the head, yeah.

02:20:27.000 Especially boxing.

02:20:28.000 The Tequila reality show where the two guys were fighting over it.

02:20:32.000 That was a reality show.

02:20:33.000 Remember that?

02:20:33.000 Oh, he broke his chin open, dude?

02:20:35.000 He headbutts him in the thing.

02:20:36.000 It separates his teeth.

02:20:38.000 He takes a headbutt to the mouth.

02:20:39.000 He's spitting out.

02:20:40.000 It's like the blood's not turning.

02:20:42.000 You ever see someone get cut where the blood's not turning red yet?

02:20:44.000 It's black. 0.53

02:20:46.000 It's not just teeth splitting.

02:20:47.000 What happens is his jaw splits down the middle where you literally see his teeth separate because it cracks in half like that.

02:20:54.000 It's the most horrific thing I've ever seen.

02:20:56.000 This is VH1, by the way.

02:20:57.000 I saw that in a women's fight. 1.00

02:20:59.000 I saw that in a women's fight. 1.00

02:21:01.000 Really?

02:21:02.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:21:02.000 It was Randy Couture's wife, Kim Couture.

02:21:05.000 Oh yeah, she fought. 0.99

02:21:06.000 She got her jaw broken and it was separated and she went out and fought the next round. 0.99

02:21:10.000 Wow.

02:21:11.000 With the jaw separated.

02:21:13.000 Like a predator.

02:21:16.000 Inside, it was moving around.

02:21:19.000 And then she had to get it wired up and fixed after the fight.

02:21:22.000 It was crazy.

02:21:24.000 A kid that I knew in the sixth grade, he got into a fistfight with this other kid.

02:21:28.000 And this other kid had brass knuckles.

02:21:31.000 And brass knuckles were regular.

02:21:32.000 You could buy them at the mall when I was a kid.

02:21:35.000 Martial arts style.

02:21:36.000 You could get like butterfly knives, nunchucks.

02:21:38.000 Yeah, flying stars.

02:21:39.000 Yeah, brass tongue. 0.99

02:21:40.000 Like you could just go in as 12 and buy deadly weapons.

02:21:44.000 Yeah, man.

02:21:45.000 Those little stores that would sell nunchucks. 0.95

02:21:47.000 Psy.

02:21:48.000 Yeah, the size.

02:21:49.000 The size.

02:21:50.000 Hell yeah.

02:21:50.000 The coup baton.

02:21:51.000 Remember coup batons? 0.99

02:21:52.000 So this kid had brass knuckles, and he fucking drilled this kid in the face and broke his jaw. 0.96

02:21:57.000 And for the whole school year, like half school year, he had to have a wired jaw. 0.98

02:22:01.000 He was just drinking chocolate milk at lunch every day.

02:22:03.000 What happened to the kid who punched him?

02:22:03.000 Couldn't even tell the story.

02:22:06.000 What happened to the kid who punched him?

02:22:08.000 He was a kid, so it wasn't like juvie or anything like that.

02:22:10.000 It was just like he got in trouble.

02:22:12.000 Well, that's it?

02:22:13.000 Yeah.

02:22:13.000 He got arrested?

02:22:14.000 No.

02:22:15.000 Oh, my God.

02:22:15.000 Didn't get arrested.

02:22:16.000 Didn't get arrested.

02:22:17.000 And they had to go to school together after that?

02:22:19.000 Did you remove the brass knuckle kid from the school? 0.98

02:22:21.000 It didn't happen at school.

02:22:22.000 It happened at a school.

02:22:23.000 I don't think the kid who did it...

02:22:24.000 I know the kid who did it.

02:22:25.000 I don't think he went to the same school.

02:22:26.000 Hey, man.

02:22:27.000 Sorry for hitting you with brass knuckles.

02:22:28.000 Should I have a math homework?

02:22:29.000 Dude.

02:22:30.000 It was cool.

02:22:32.000 That's terrifying. 1.00

02:22:33.000 That's where it's like you just don't want to fuck with people. 0.99

02:22:36.000 Well, kids who get beat up at home, too. 0.99

02:22:38.000 Kids who get beat up by their parents, they're ready to beat people up.

02:22:42.000 Of course.

02:22:43.000 It becomes a part of your everyday life.

02:22:46.000 You're mad at people, you hit them.

02:22:47.000 You're mad at people that are smaller than you, and you get away with it, you hit them. 0.78

02:22:50.000 I don't think people talk about that enough.

02:22:51.000 They talk about all the violence in the world, and nobody's talking about the fact that since kids are toddlers, they're being hit by the people that are supposed to protect them most.

02:22:58.000 And it fucks them up psychologically, and it does something to them.

02:23:01.000 It's awful.

02:23:01.000 And it's a cycle, right?

02:23:03.000 You hit your kids because your dad hit you, and that's what made you the man that you are today. 1.00

02:23:06.000 That kind of horseshit. 0.99

02:23:07.000 But it's so weird that it's the only relationship where if you bring up this topic, people will justify hitting. 0.99

02:23:14.000 It's the only, like, no one will publicly justify hitting their chick or hitting their grandfather.

02:23:17.000 Because they take it personally like you're attacking their parents.

02:23:20.000 They take it like they go, like, my mom's not a bad, my mom's a good mom.

02:23:23.000 You know, I deserved it.

02:23:24.000 They'll tell you that.

02:23:25.000 I deserved it.

02:23:26.000 Isn't it so weird that if anyone, if you said publicly, like, you know, that you give your girlfriend a slap if she acts the wrong way, everyone would universally be like, that is just pure evil.

02:23:35.000 But if you say the same thing to my two-year-old, my three-year-old, everyone's just kind of like, and then even more than that, people are like, oh, they don't do it enough. 0.99

02:23:43.000 But if you say, if my man talks too much shit, I smack him in his face, girls would be like, you go, girl. 1.00

02:23:49.000 Yes, that's true. 1.00

02:23:50.000 But I also don't care. 1.00

02:23:51.000 That's that motherfucker, no. 1.00

02:23:52.000 But that's because the power dynamic is the opposite way. 1.00

02:23:55.000 How about dating Cyborg?

02:24:00.000 That's a serious problem if you're dating Cyborg.

02:24:02.000 Yeah, seriously.

02:24:03.000 She's hitting me. 1.00

02:24:04.000 Whatever, her hands are the fucking real issue. 1.00

02:24:07.000 She's gone, huh? 0.99

02:24:09.000 Out of the UFC? Yeah, man.

02:24:10.000 They fucked up. 1.00

02:24:11.000 That sucks. 1.00

02:24:12.000 They made a video where it made it look like Dana White was saying that he... 0.99

02:24:15.000 They just docked...

02:24:16.000 They added words that he didn't say. 1.00

02:24:18.000 That was stupid. 1.00

02:24:19.000 So dumb. 1.00

02:24:20.000 Do you think it was malicious or do you think it was a legitimate mistake in terms of translating it? 1.00

02:24:24.000 There's no way it could be anything other than stupid. 0.99

02:24:27.000 Yeah, it was done on purpose. 1.00

02:24:28.000 It was done on purpose. 1.00

02:24:30.000 So it was just a stupid idea. 1.00

02:24:32.000 That's all it is. 1.00

02:24:33.000 And it's really bad timing.

02:24:34.000 Malicious, whatever it is.

02:24:35.000 Whoever did it, that's just a terrible error.

02:24:38.000 And it's really bad timing because she was almost uncuttable last year.

02:24:42.000 But now Amanda Nunes came and kind of took that juice. 1.00

02:24:45.000 And now it's like...

02:24:46.000 She's damaged goods if she decides to leave the UFC without a Nunes rematch. 1.00

02:24:51.000 If she beats Nunes, she gets it all back.

02:24:53.000 You know, but...

02:24:54.000 She's still a star.

02:24:55.000 Yeah, she'd go to 1FC. She'd go to Bellator.

02:24:59.000 She'd go to a lot of places and she'd still be welcome with open arms.

02:25:03.000 She's a walk down the street and gets a huge pop star. 1.00

02:25:06.000 She shows up at those weigh-in shows and the crowd flocks to her.

02:25:09.000 I remember just thinking that about her.

02:25:11.000 I saw her one time and there was... 0.96

02:25:13.000 I forget what event it was.

02:25:15.000 She came to the garden show and just sat in the front row of the UFC at the garden and the place was like, they were so excited for her just turning around and waving at people.

02:25:22.000 She was the first female Terminator.

02:25:25.000 Yeah.

02:25:26.000 Gina Carano, that was the best.

02:25:28.000 Horrific.

02:25:28.000 Watching her beat up Gina Carano gives me nightmares to this day.

02:25:31.000 It's a crazy fight, and the end of it, when there's a photo that we played on this podcast before of her cyborg's hand palming Gina's head with black fingernails, and she's punching her in the face at the same time.

02:25:44.000 So she's holding her head, slamming her fist in the face, like, I want out. 0.94

02:25:49.000 Gina was queen when it was like three-minute rounds. 1.00

02:25:53.000 Well, they all fought three-minute rounds back then for women, yeah. 1.00

02:25:56.000 Half tops, panties.

02:26:00.000 You know, she was taking some stuff, you know, for sure.

02:26:03.000 Oh, sure.

02:26:04.000 Yeah, for sure.

02:26:05.000 That's part of the issue, and she tested positive for some stuff.

02:26:09.000 You know, that's part of what it is.

02:26:11.000 That's part of what it is.

02:26:12.000 The build-up to the Gina Carano fight was when she choked out the news guy, right?

02:26:16.000 That was kind of viral.

02:26:18.000 It was her news guy to put her in a real naked choke, and she choked him unconscious. 1.00

02:26:22.000 And he comes back to it.

02:26:23.000 It's very uncomfortable and weird.

02:26:25.000 She didn't want to do it.

02:26:26.000 And then he was like, you can do it.

02:26:27.000 It's fine.

02:26:28.000 And then he just looks like...

02:26:30.000 It was one of those band knockouts where you get up and make noises.

02:26:33.000 I think dudes don't believe that they're really going to go out like that.

02:26:37.000 They don't believe they're going to go out so quick.

02:26:39.000 Yeah.

02:26:40.000 I learned in the sixth grade, we used to do the thing where we would hyperventilate.

02:26:43.000 Knockout game?

02:26:43.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:26:44.000 So, you bend over, and then you just breathe really heavy for like a minute, as hard as you can.

02:26:49.000 And then when you come up really fast, you're already lightheaded, then your friend puts his hands, his palms on your carotid arteries, and just presses.

02:26:57.000 Kind of light.

02:26:57.000 And then within three seconds, you just slide down the wall.

02:27:01.000 Whoa.

02:27:01.000 It was my first time I ever got high.

02:27:03.000 Yeah, but your friends will let you fall and hit your fucking head. 1.00

02:27:05.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:27:06.000 Dude, I didn't know!

02:27:07.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:27:08.000 You fall and bounce your fucking head off a curb. 1.00

02:27:10.000 You gotta catch him. 1.00

02:27:12.000 I gotta knock him out, man.

02:27:14.000 I gotta catch him.

02:27:15.000 I don't think that's necessarily that bad for you, but it's definitely not good for you.

02:27:20.000 Especially when you're 11. Yeah, you're developing your brain.

02:27:24.000 Yeah, you probably shouldn't do it.

02:27:25.000 Yeah, don't be choking out.

02:27:27.000 But it happens all the time in the gym and no one stops.

02:27:32.000 They get choked unconscious, they wake up and they go back to rolling again.

02:27:35.000 And the way they talk about it like it's a garden hose.

02:27:38.000 The garden hose shuts off the power to the brain and everything's fine.

02:27:41.000 But I'm like, man, you ain't a doctor. 0.99

02:27:44.000 You're just a guy who knows how to choke people.

02:27:47.000 Show me some long-term studies on dudes who've been choked unconscious multiple times.

02:27:52.000 Show me a doctor making garden hose analogies. 1.00

02:27:54.000 Call me a bitch. 1.00

02:27:55.000 I'll tap quick. 1.00

02:27:56.000 I'm not going unconscious, man.

02:27:58.000 Stop. 0.95

02:27:59.000 That's silly. 0.82

02:28:00.000 That going unconscious thing. 0.92

02:28:01.000 Who knows what that's doing?

02:28:02.000 You're going to the Netherlands.

02:28:03.000 You might come back a totally different person in a totally different life.

02:28:07.000 When you open your eyes like, has it been a hundred years?

02:28:10.000 You come back with a false memory of the past.

02:28:13.000 I've lived a hundred lives since then.

02:28:16.000 Since I was knocked out.

02:28:17.000 That happens to guys.

02:28:19.000 Because when they get hit and knocked out, when they come to, they do not know what happened.

02:28:24.000 And they have to be reminded over and over and over again.

02:28:26.000 I mean, it must feel like you woke up in a new dimension.

02:28:30.000 Like, it must feel surreal.

02:28:32.000 Well, Bisping told me that story after the Dan Henderson fight.

02:28:34.000 He literally had no idea what happened.

02:28:37.000 It was like he had no idea where he was.

02:28:39.000 He thought his fight was a few weeks out still. 1.00

02:28:43.000 It was some scary shit. 0.96

02:28:44.000 They said Ben Askren was saying he has no memory of anything in the arena after that. 0.99

02:28:48.000 Of course.

02:28:49.000 That was one of the worst knockouts I've ever seen. 0.94

02:28:51.000 That's what I was saying too with that slow-ass walk. 0.90

02:28:53.000 He had to walk out of the arena so slow. 0.68

02:28:55.000 It was one of the worst knockouts of all time.

02:28:57.000 The amount of power that your flying knee has when you're ducking into it is accentuated because he's going in for the takedown and he's got a strong takedown, right?

02:29:06.000 So he's going in with everything he has face first and running at him.

02:29:12.000 Oh my god, that's the biggest impact I think the sport's ever seen.

02:29:16.000 As we're talking about football players crashing into each other, that's the moment of impact.

02:29:19.000 The dangerous thing about two football players crashing their bodies into each other is exactly that.

02:29:24.000 And they, super athletes, creating that momentum, I mean, it's nuts.

02:29:28.000 How crazy is it to be undefeated, never to lose to anybody, and then that's your one, like, you're One Blemish is like the biggest knockout. 1.00

02:29:37.000 Ben talks so much shit that it sucks. 1.00

02:29:40.000 Because I like Ben. 1.00

02:29:40.000 I'm a big fan. 1.00

02:29:41.000 He's really funny.

02:29:42.000 I like Ben too. 1.00

02:29:43.000 He talks so much shit. 1.00

02:29:44.000 And when you talk shit like that and then you fucking lose, you just gotta eat those words. 1.00

02:29:48.000 You know, he's marketed himself amazingly. 1.00

02:29:50.000 And that's part of the marketing himself. 1.00

02:29:53.000 He has his own down-home version of talking shit. 1.00

02:29:56.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:29:56.000 You know, like, even his boom-roasted thing. 1.00

02:29:58.000 Like, you could tell, it's like he's almost kind of playing a doofus character. 0.94

02:30:02.000 Yeah.

02:30:02.000 But he's a very smart guy.

02:30:03.000 Like, I had him on the podcast, and he sends me book recommendations and shit. 0.59

02:30:07.000 He's like a really well-read, interesting guy.

02:30:10.000 He just, that's his character. 0.95

02:30:12.000 And part of his strategy is to annoy the fuck out of you. 0.94

02:30:14.000 But when you flatline him like that, after him annoying the fuck out of you... 0.97

02:30:20.000 What's that word? 0.85

02:30:21.000 Schadenfreude?

02:30:22.000 What's that word?

02:30:23.000 When people get their just desserts?

02:30:25.000 What is that called?

02:30:26.000 I don't know.

02:30:27.000 Something like that.

02:30:27.000 It's the pleasure that you feel from someone else's Obvious demise, right?

02:30:36.000 That sounds right.

02:30:38.000 Is that it?

02:30:39.000 Pleasure derived from another person's misfortune.

02:30:41.000 There you go.

02:30:42.000 That's what it is.

02:30:43.000 But that technique, it's almost like in a weird way, that's what he was trying to get Masvidal to do, like go crazy, so the takedowns are there.

02:30:50.000 But if it doesn't work out, it goes very bad.

02:30:53.000 Well, Masvidal just took that chance with that flying knee entry, and he practiced it over and over and over again, and he kind of knew with the way he circled.

02:31:00.000 See, the way he circled, he circled off to the side, and then came at him that way.

02:31:04.000 So he knew he would go at him with leaning into him that way, and so it perfectly tied, because he was coming at him from the side.

02:31:11.000 He knew he was going to lean in that way.

02:31:13.000 But he also, Masvidal said he was like, I was real confident if you took me down, I was going to get back up.

02:31:17.000 And that does kind of demonstrate that.

02:31:19.000 Like, if you're real concerned about the takedown, you're probably not going to open with sprinting into a flying knee.

02:31:24.000 Which is funny, because Masvidal is not even a dude who is known for being this unbelievable wrestler.

02:31:29.000 The first time I saw Masvidal was an old-school Kimbo Slice Miami backyard fighting video.

02:31:35.000 Oh, yeah.

02:31:36.000 Yeah, he did those.

02:31:36.000 Dude, he came out and he fought this guy.

02:31:38.000 I think his name was Big Ray.

02:31:39.000 It was a guy who was like 230 pounds.

02:31:41.000 And it was George.

02:31:43.000 And it was like 180 pounds.

02:31:45.000 And he came out and he just boxed this dude up.

02:31:47.000 And it was so bad.

02:31:48.000 All the kids were following.

02:31:50.000 It was like chickens running around a backyard.

02:31:51.000 It was so hardcore.

02:31:52.000 And then he ends up being, I think, Strikeforce a few years later is when I saw him in MMA. And he's had a pretty crazy trajectory to be where he's at right now.

02:32:00.000 He is right on the cusp of being...

02:32:03.000 If he didn't win the title, he'd be one of the biggest stars in the sport. 0.99

02:32:06.000 He's one of the best motherfuckers in the sport, for sure. 0.99

02:32:08.000 There's no doubt about it. 0.99

02:32:09.000 With everything, he's super well-rounded.

02:32:11.000 He can do everything.

02:32:11.000 His takedown defense is amazing.

02:32:13.000 He's got some of the best hands in the division period.

02:32:16.000 I mean, you look at him knocking out Darren Till with that leap in, left hook, the way he did it, the way he set it up.

02:32:22.000 He landed it earlier, and then he landed again.

02:32:24.000 He figured it out.

02:32:25.000 He figured out a spot where this guy's open.

02:32:28.000 There's like this dip in what he does, and he found that opening.

02:32:32.000 He's gotten better, right?

02:32:33.000 He's more dedicated.

02:32:36.000 And now he wants a big payday.

02:32:38.000 So they're probably talking about doing that Nate Diaz fight.

02:32:41.000 He'll get a big payday out of that one.

02:32:42.000 That's a big fight.

02:32:44.000 That fight will be huge. 0.72

02:32:46.000 Isn't it fucked up that Usman is the one that, almost out of all of the guys we're talking about, I'm least intrigued to watch fight next? 0.95

02:32:52.000 Oh man, I'm not. 0.98

02:32:53.000 I fucking love watching that guy fight because he's got this marauding, relentless style that's very similar to Colby's, except he hits harder. 0.97

02:33:01.000 And he'll try to take people out. 0.99

02:33:03.000 Colby just keeps that heat on you.

02:33:05.000 Yeah, but Colby's striking technique might be a little bit better.

02:33:08.000 It doesn't hit quite as hard, but the stuff he was showing against Robbie Lawler, those jabs and body kicks and stuff, I mean, that was pretty impressive.

02:33:14.000 You know, he's friends with my buddy Cam Haynes, and they train together. 0.98

02:33:18.000 And Cam's description of him, he said, listen, the guy talks all this crazy shit, right? 0.99

02:33:22.000 He's doing it, but he never stops training. 0.99

02:33:25.000 He's just constantly training.

02:33:26.000 That's why he's got that insane cardio.

02:33:28.000 He knows that's his biggest weapon.

02:33:29.000 His biggest weapon is, he's like, ready, keep up!

02:33:33.000 Whee! 1.00

02:33:35.000 And you've got to try to keep up. 0.99

02:33:36.000 And he's fucking going and going and going and going. 0.99

02:33:38.000 And everybody wills. 0.99

02:33:39.000 That's why I'm so interested to see Usman fight, because he's going to fight him.

02:33:42.000 And Usman does the same thing to people.

02:33:44.000 That's what he did.

02:33:45.000 I think Tyron, I think there was issues with Tyron going into that fight.

02:33:48.000 He looked like a shell of himself.

02:33:49.000 He wasn't firing back.

02:33:51.000 Some of that you've got to give credit to Usman. 0.99

02:33:53.000 That fucking pressure, that relentless pressure is striking. 0.99

02:33:57.000 He knows how to fight long. 1.00

02:33:59.000 He's got an incredible fucking ground and pound game. 0.99

02:34:02.000 He's got real knockout power. 0.99

02:34:04.000 Yeah, and Colby did a similar thing to Robbie Lawler where it kind of looked like, why isn't he firing back?

02:34:08.000 Because his back's on the cage.

02:34:10.000 He's getting taken down.

02:34:11.000 He's getting jabbed constantly and never has a moment to just reset and take a deep breath because he's just on you the whole fight.

02:34:18.000 Guys didn't used to fight that way.

02:34:20.000 And I talked to Colby about this.

02:34:22.000 We were talking about the principle of, like, how hard do you, when you punch him, how hard do you punch him?

02:34:26.000 He's like 70%.

02:34:27.000 So you just hit him with a steady stream of 70%. 1.00

02:34:30.000 You never see him bite down, fucking, argh! 1.00

02:34:33.000 You never see that. 1.00

02:34:34.000 Those, what DC always likes to call big actions, those big actions, those cost a lot of energy.

02:34:41.000 And you've got to figure out when to do those.

02:34:42.000 Maybe you're Francis Ngannou and those big actions lead to Alistair Overeem getting knocked into the Netherlands.

02:34:48.000 But if not, then you're going to blow out your gas like we saw him with Stipe Miocic.

02:34:54.000 Lifting him over his head in the first round.

02:34:56.000 And how cool does that look that you're holding this huge guy over your head and dropping him.

02:34:59.000 But then after that, you kind of just get a takedown.

02:35:01.000 He gets back up to his feet.

02:35:03.000 And then by the fourth round, you're kind of wondering, is that really good strategy to be lifting these guys over your head?

02:35:08.000 I was talking about Stipe when Stipe fought Francis Ngannou.

02:35:11.000 Oh, that one.

02:35:11.000 Yeah, sorry.

02:35:12.000 Manage to avoid the big actions of Ngannou and then wear him out and then take him down and beat him up and retain the title.

02:35:18.000 The only guy that's been able to survive Ngannou.

02:35:20.000 The DC fight is a hard one to watch, man, because he's the best guy in the world.

02:35:24.000 He's so nice.

02:35:25.000 I love that guy to death.

02:35:27.000 So watching him get his body destroyed, because he kept digging those left hooks to the body, I was like, woo! 0.99

02:35:32.000 Part of me was like, damn, that's a pretty punch. 0.98

02:35:34.000 How loud were those? 0.99

02:35:35.000 Fucking loud. 0.98

02:35:36.000 But it was the crispness of it. 0.98

02:35:40.000 He was standing in front of him, popping him, and then sliding, BAP! And he would just stick that fucking left hook into the liver, and he kept hitting it. 0.99

02:35:48.000 Part of me was like, man, that is a beautiful left hook. 0.99

02:35:52.000 Nasty body shots, but part of me was like, damn, DC, you've got to get away from that. 0.99

02:35:56.000 You've got to get out of there. 0.99

02:35:57.000 You've got to take this guy down.

02:35:58.000 It's hard.

02:35:58.000 When you really love a guy and you're watching him fight, it's hard.

02:36:02.000 It's very, very difficult to do commentary.

02:36:04.000 You just...

02:36:05.000 What's the pain on the liver punches? 1.00

02:36:08.000 Dude, it fucking hurts. 0.99

02:36:08.000 What's the damage that can do that makes you like... 0.99

02:36:11.000 I've seen people crumble on it before.

02:36:12.000 You want me to hit you with one? 0.56

02:36:13.000 No, no. 1.00

02:36:14.000 Please hit you with a liver punch. 1.00

02:36:15.000 But show me on Lewis. 1.00

02:36:16.000 You don't want it.

02:36:17.000 It's a horrible feeling where it like shocks your body.

02:36:20.000 Let me say, Joe.

02:36:21.000 Your body goes like...

02:36:24.000 How about this? 0.95

02:36:25.000 Show Dave where to hit me.

02:36:26.000 It's right here.

02:36:27.000 It's like almost getting shocked, like electrical.

02:36:29.000 It's in the lower...

02:36:29.000 If someone is standing in front of you and they hit you with a left hook, most likely they'd be hitting you in the liver.

02:36:36.000 And it's like right where these floating ribs are, tucked in there.

02:36:40.000 And when you slam someone hard, like right around the low...

02:36:43.000 You know who's one of the masters of it?

02:36:45.000 It's Canelo Alvarez.

02:36:47.000 Show Canelo Alvarez body shots.

02:36:50.000 Maybe there's a video we could look. 0.99

02:36:51.000 He's got a beautiful one where he steps in and just fucking rips that left hook to the liver. 0.99

02:36:55.000 And your body just goes... 1.00

02:36:57.000 It just fucking shuts down. 0.93

02:37:00.000 It's the weirdest feeling, man. 0.99

02:37:02.000 It's like your legs stop working.

02:37:03.000 Everything stops working.

02:37:04.000 Your whole body just...

02:37:06.000 It looks like it didn't happen to him until that last one.

02:37:11.000 I think he was playing poker face.

02:37:13.000 I think he was playing poker face. 1.00

02:37:15.000 Canelo is a fucking master at this shit. 1.00

02:37:17.000 He would just dig this thing. 1.00

02:37:18.000 Look at this.

02:37:20.000 That one's only going to the side.

02:37:21.000 That's the kidneys, though.

02:37:22.000 Yeah, that's going to the side, but most of the time he's going to the liver.

02:37:24.000 Well, he's going to anything that's open, right?

02:37:27.000 But that's the liver.

02:37:28.000 He's going for the liver against Golovkin, but Golovkin's got that low guard with his right arm.

02:37:33.000 He's blocking it from happening.

02:37:35.000 The guy who's coming up next...

02:37:36.000 It's so much fun.

02:37:38.000 Like, it's a fun sport to do. 1.00

02:37:40.000 Well, when these kind of guys are fighting, when Triple G and Canelo are fighting, like, fuck. 0.98

02:37:44.000 It's like, if you're a fan of the sport, you've seen the highest level, two champions in their prime going after it. 0.98

02:37:50.000 It's amazing to watch.

02:37:52.000 But that punch is a...

02:37:53.000 Like, getting hit there is a terrible feeling.

02:37:55.000 And DC got hit there multiple times.

02:37:58.000 And he was, from like the second round on, he was...

02:38:01.000 You were talking about it when he was there, but he was just putting his hands down and kind of letting Stipe hit It's hard to watch.

02:38:06.000 That's a dangerous way to fight Stipe Miocic.

02:38:08.000 I think he just wanted to put pressure on him and make Stipe feel like he didn't deserve to be in there with him.

02:38:14.000 I think maybe in that approach he was trying to wear him out, which would keep the pressure on him and make him discouraged, or maybe We're good to go.

02:38:48.000 But then he came back and he ate everything that DC had to offer him.

02:38:50.000 He just kept eating it, taking it on the chin and eating it, and eventually he started taking over the fight.

02:38:56.000 And when he started ripping the body in the fourth round, it was like, whoa!

02:39:00.000 It was perfect.

02:39:01.000 I mean, I've never seen anybody have better body punches in a championship fight.

02:39:05.000 You think that was a corner call?

02:39:07.000 Or you think he just improvised and saw that it was opening?

02:39:10.000 He knows how to fight.

02:39:11.000 He saw an opening.

02:39:13.000 Everybody knows.

02:39:14.000 I mean, that's such a standard technique.

02:39:15.000 That's like a corner call if someone's throwing a leg kick.

02:39:17.000 It's so standard.

02:39:18.000 It was working so good.

02:39:20.000 Yeah, it never got blocked once.

02:39:21.000 DC didn't have an answer.

02:39:22.000 He didn't have an answer to it.

02:39:23.000 He didn't duck it.

02:39:24.000 He didn't block it.

02:39:25.000 He didn't try to take him down.

02:39:28.000 He just kind of got stuck.

02:39:29.000 The problem with those liver shots, too, is they sap your energy so bad, and you can't make a big move anymore.

02:39:35.000 So you have to kind of pretend like everything's okay, and then, bam, he hits you again. 0.99

02:39:39.000 You're like, oh, shit. 0.99

02:39:40.000 We're in trouble here. 1.00

02:39:41.000 But still, you're looking like nothing's wrong. 1.00

02:39:43.000 But your gas tank is fucked. 1.00

02:39:46.000 Everything's on empty, and you're fucked. 1.00

02:39:48.000 You really can't fire back. 1.00

02:39:49.000 That's why DC didn't fire back, and he kept getting shot to that body.

02:39:52.000 Bang! 1.00

02:39:53.000 And every time, bang, he gets shot to that body. 0.54

02:39:56.000 You see it in his...

02:39:56.000 And then Stipe got him against the cage, started uncorking punches, and DC just didn't have anything...

02:40:01.000 His body was shutting down.

02:40:03.000 Didn't have anything in him to stop that onslaught.

02:40:06.000 I mean, it's amazing.

02:40:07.000 That guy's the...

02:40:07.000 Stipe's the most successful heavyweight in the history of the sport.

02:40:11.000 And Daniel Cormier, whether he fights again or not, he's one of the greatest ever.

02:40:15.000 Legend.

02:40:15.000 But he also is, what is he, 42?

02:40:17.000 He's 40. 40. Yeah, I believe.

02:40:20.000 Is that true?

02:40:21.000 He's 40, yeah, yeah.

02:40:22.000 DC, that might be part of it, too.

02:40:24.000 Yoel's 42. Could be.

02:40:25.000 42, yeah.

02:40:26.000 Yoel's 42. When you look at, like, you know, DC... What he's done, it's incredible.

02:40:33.000 Nobody else has ever done that.

02:40:35.000 It's probably hard to convince him of that.

02:40:38.000 The big fight is the Stipe fight, honestly.

02:40:41.000 Because beating guys for the vacated crown in light heavyweight is not the same as beating Jon Jones.

02:40:48.000 But beating Stipe is like beating the heavyweight version of Jon Jones.

02:40:52.000 That's the biggest accomplishment ever.

02:40:54.000 And I liked him at heavyweight because he wasn't getting drained.

02:40:57.000 But I just don't think that was...

02:40:58.000 I don't know, maybe he couldn't have fought him any other way, but I don't think that was the best strategy, the dropping of the hands and the moving toward him with disdain.

02:41:07.000 But maybe that would have worked on some guys, and maybe that has worked on other guys, like Rumble Johnson.

02:41:12.000 It worked on him.

02:41:13.000 He eventually puts that heat on you, and so many guys crack under that heat.

02:41:17.000 As a friend, do you want to see him fight a third fight?

02:41:20.000 That is entirely dependent upon where his head's at.

02:41:24.000 I mean, first of all, I'm sure he's a very intelligent guy with a lot of years of competition under his belt, whether it's Olympics, Wrestling at the highest level, whether it's UFC, Strikeforce before that, he's fought for a long time.

02:41:40.000 Nobody needs to tell him when to make decisions and when not.

02:41:42.000 He's emotional right now.

02:41:43.000 I'm sure he's going to take some time off, and he'll probably consult with his family and probably figure out what he wants to do, but I bet...

02:41:50.000 If I had to guess, his competitive instincts are going to tell him that he could have at least one more fight and that it would be a rematch with Stipe because he was dominating the first round and he let it get away from him and he wasn't listening to his corner. 0.99

02:42:04.000 Crazy Bob Cook was yelling in his corner, keep your damn hands up. 0.99

02:42:08.000 You know, he didn't like it. 1.00

02:42:09.000 Bob Cook didn't like it.

02:42:10.000 He respected.

02:42:10.000 Stipe's a giant man.

02:42:12.000 He's a fucking big motherfucker. 1.00

02:42:14.000 Big, long, tall Croatian. 1.00

02:42:16.000 And he's tough as shit, man. 0.99

02:42:18.000 And I think because Daniel knocked him out in the first round, in the first fight, you know, he believed he could knock him out again. 1.00

02:42:26.000 But Stipe could take a goddamn shot this time. 0.99

02:42:29.000 You know what I mean? 1.00

02:42:29.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:42:30.000 You never know why a guy gets knocked out that way with one punch.

02:42:34.000 It was a perfect punch, for sure.

02:42:36.000 The way he threw it was beautiful.

02:42:38.000 The way he threw it from inside the clinch, comes over the top of the shoulder, blam, and lands that perfect punch that KO'd Stipe.

02:42:44.000 It was amazing.

02:42:45.000 It was also such a competitive fight that I'm super intrigued to see a third fight.

02:42:49.000 It's not a foregone conclusion that Stipe is going to be able to do that again.

02:42:53.000 Daniel can adjust, he can come out with a better game plan, and he can win that fight.

02:42:57.000 And it's, in my opinion, the best fight at heavyweight, competitively.

02:43:00.000 I don't think Angano would be a good fight, but I think that Stipe wins that again.

02:43:04.000 I'm not convinced.

02:43:05.000 I mean, I think Ngannou might be the next guy.

02:43:08.000 We'll see.

02:43:09.000 I mean, I think he might be the champ for a while.

02:43:11.000 Well, he's definitely got what it takes.

02:43:13.000 Because he's got one thing.

02:43:16.000 That 100% one-punch knockout power.

02:43:20.000 100%. 0.99

02:43:21.000 Not a fucking human's gonna be there if he full-on connects and smashes one through your guard. 1.00

02:43:27.000 Everyone goes night-night. 1.00

02:43:28.000 Everyone.

02:43:28.000 Yeah.

02:43:29.000 100% of the humans that have ever walked here go night-night if that guy punches you full blast.

02:43:35.000 But it's whether or not he's going to be able to do that to Stipe.

02:43:37.000 We all thought he had a chance of doing it the first time, but Stipe shut it down.

02:43:42.000 Maybe he's better now, but maybe Stipe is going to come into this fight even more energized after beating DC and winning his title back.

02:43:49.000 Maybe he saw something from that fight that if he had to do it again, he would have implemented really quickly.

02:43:55.000 Stipe, he did not want to take another fight. 0.87

02:43:59.000 Whatever place he was in, he was fucking in his firehouse, lacing up his boots every day, just thinking about getting that title back. 0.93

02:44:05.000 He does not want to lose that title again. 0.99

02:44:06.000 People were ignoring him, man.

02:44:07.000 It was weird.

02:44:08.000 Everybody was so concentrated on the Brock Lesnar idea.

02:44:12.000 That they were ignoring him.

02:44:14.000 It's weird because when somebody said that the other day, whatever publication was talking about CBA being the greatest heavyweight of all time, this is before the fight.

02:44:22.000 I remember going like, is he?

02:44:24.000 And then you start listing off his credentials and you realize that he has the most defenses.

02:44:29.000 He's also fought the most competitive defense.

02:44:32.000 Title defenses as well.

02:44:36.000 Then it becomes a little more apparent.

02:44:38.000 I almost understand it, and I'm a pretty big fan of the sport, but I remember I wasn't chomping at the bit for the rematch for him.

02:44:47.000 It wasn't like I was like, I really want to see that Stipe Daniel Cormier rematch, and I can't even put my finger on why.

02:44:52.000 Oh, I did.

02:44:53.000 I wanted to see it bad.

02:44:55.000 I wanted to see it real bad.

02:44:56.000 I wanted to see, and I like the fact that it was 13 months later, so I think it gave his body some time to heal up.

02:45:02.000 I think when you fight in Ghana, it's like getting hit by a train.

02:45:04.000 I mean, you might live. 1.00

02:45:05.000 You might go flying into a fucking tree, and you come down a day later. 1.00

02:45:12.000 What happened? 1.00

02:45:13.000 It's just like when DJ Jazzy Jeff will get thrown out of the clubs.

02:45:18.000 Yeah, but I think if he keeps it together, he's the next guy.

02:45:22.000 I mean, he's the next guy in line to be the champion.

02:45:25.000 I mean, he has everything to lose.

02:45:26.000 He has the championship to lose. 1.00

02:45:28.000 If Stipe retires, when Stipe's done, Francis is the fucking man. 0.99

02:45:32.000 And maybe Francis beats him in a rematch. 0.99

02:45:35.000 Who knows?

02:45:35.000 Again, all he has to do is connect.

02:45:37.000 He would be a different guy in the rematch.

02:45:39.000 He would understand what it's like to go five hard rounds with the guy who could take you down and beat you up.

02:45:43.000 He would understand that his wrestling has to be on point, his cardio has to be on point, and there's not going to be times where he can 100% unload and know for sure the guy's not going to be there because the guy survived and he didn't have the gas tank for the remaining four rounds.

02:45:55.000 And so this is going to be a new guy that Stipe fights, and he might very well just play it smooth and just stay on the outside and pick his shots, and then when he gets them hurt, then uncork.

02:46:07.000 I mean, we don't know.

02:46:08.000 But we don't know.

02:46:09.000 Stipe might take him down quicker this time.

02:46:11.000 Yeah, maybe. 1.00

02:46:11.000 Stipe might say, fuck all this stand-up, dude. 1.00

02:46:13.000 Let's just wrestle. 1.00

02:46:14.000 He'd just come at him, pump a few jabs, shoot a fucking double on him and take him down. 0.99

02:46:19.000 Dude, he took down D.C. Stipe took down D.C. That's giant. 0.99

02:46:23.000 The only other guy who's ever done that is Jon Jones.

02:46:25.000 And Stipe did it more emphatically. 0.55

02:46:27.000 I mean, it was pretty goddamn impressive.

02:46:29.000 Well, that's the other one at heavyweight I want to see.

02:46:33.000 Before Jon Jones retires, I want to see him fight at heavyweight.

02:46:36.000 Yes, that's what I was pushing for.

02:46:36.000 I want to see Jon Jones at 235 pounds.

02:46:39.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

02:46:40.000 Steroids to the gills. 1.00

02:46:42.000 Picograms falling out of his asshole. 1.00

02:46:44.000 Just fucking, just a monster, dude. 1.00

02:46:46.000 I would love to see if he could handle Stipe. 1.00

02:46:49.000 Or if Cormier wanted that fight.

02:46:51.000 If Daniel Cormier and Jon Jones wanted to fight again, I'd want to see that fight at heavyweight.

02:46:55.000 Well, I guarantee you if Jon Jones fights at heavyweight, he'll probably be at just what he walks around at.

02:47:01.000 Because the word around Jackson's was that he would wrestle with heavyweights and just ragdoll them.

02:47:07.000 That he would throw people around the gym.

02:47:08.000 I mean, when I talked to Tate Fletcher when he was down there and other guys who trained with Jon when Jon was down at Jackson's as a light heavyweight champion, was just ragdolling heavyweights. 1.00

02:47:17.000 He's a phenomenally powerful guy.

02:47:20.000 And you really saw that in the Cormier fight.

02:47:22.000 I think Cormier was... 0.97

02:47:22.000 I was shocked in that first fight of how fucking strong John is. 0.97

02:47:26.000 I mean, he's a long, thin guy, but he is ridiculously strong. 0.98

02:47:30.000 And I think as a heavyweight, he'd be a fuckload to handle for a lot of guys.

02:47:33.000 Yeah, I want to say, and I think he actually, he has the star power to...

02:47:37.000 I think that puts the UFC on the map in a weird way.

02:47:39.000 Because they haven't really had the major star as a heavyweight champion. 0.99

02:47:44.000 Like that fucking dude who is like... 0.99

02:47:46.000 Best in the world, pound for pound best. 1.00

02:47:49.000 As a heavyweight champion.

02:47:50.000 As a heavyweight champion.

02:47:51.000 But if John could beat Stipe, that would be that.

02:47:54.000 He's definitely the best pound for pound fighter in the UFC right now.

02:47:58.000 Definitely.

02:47:58.000 You look at his accomplishments, it's arguably he's the best pound for pound fighter ever because he's really never lost.

02:48:03.000 The one Matt Hamill fight, they're trying to reverse that because it was a bad decision.

02:48:06.000 It was a bad decision to disqualify him.

02:48:09.000 It was a bad decision to disqualify him.

02:48:10.000 They destroyed him.

02:48:11.000 Yeah, make it a no contest.

02:48:12.000 So he's still undefeated.

02:48:13.000 That's what it really should have been.

02:48:15.000 My only problem with it is...

02:48:16.000 It really should be a victory.

02:48:17.000 He crushed him. 0.98

02:48:18.000 Oh yeah, it was ridiculous. 0.91

02:48:19.000 Matt Hamill doesn't feel like it's a win. 0.87

02:48:20.000 So that's the thing.

02:48:21.000 The guy's never really lost. 0.99

02:48:23.000 So if you look at his career, who the fuck can say that? 0.98

02:48:26.000 Who the fuck has fought Lyoto Machida, Rashad Evans, Rampage Jackson, the top of the food chain, over and over and over again. 0.99

02:48:33.000 Through generations. 0.99

02:48:34.000 Like three or four different generations of the best guys.

02:48:37.000 Gustafson, everybody.

02:48:38.000 You can look at that.

02:48:39.000 There's actually a number.

02:48:40.000 That one loss on his record, if you could really break it down, there was some sort of statistician that could come in and really look at it.

02:48:47.000 There's a number, an amount of money that he's lost because he has that loss on his record.

02:48:53.000 Whatever it is, marketability.

02:48:55.000 Maybe.

02:48:55.000 Who knows?

02:48:56.000 Definitely, there has to be something.

02:48:58.000 I have to go.

02:48:59.000 You do have to go.

02:49:00.000 It's 2 o'clock. 1.00

02:49:01.000 You've got to wrap this bitch up. 1.00

02:49:03.000 Gentlemen, thank you as always. 1.00

02:49:05.000 You cucked out again. 0.97

02:49:06.000 I was going to come in blackface. 1.00

02:49:09.000 They wouldn't let me.

02:49:10.000 We stopped it outside.

02:49:11.000 I appreciate you guys.

02:49:12.000 I appreciate Skankfest.

02:49:13.000 I think it's awesome what you guys are doing for comedy.

02:49:15.000 I really do.

02:49:16.000 You're just going for it.

02:49:18.000 And that's what we need more of.

02:49:20.000 We need more of people that are doing real comedy.

02:49:23.000 And you guys do it.

02:49:23.000 I appreciate the fuck out of it.

02:49:25.000 And I support you at every turn.

02:49:26.000 Thanks, brother.

02:49:26.000 Thank you, Joe.

02:49:27.000 You're the man.

02:49:27.000 We really appreciate it.

02:49:28.000 Love you, buddy. 1.00

02:49:28.000 Bye, fuckers. 1.00

02:49:32.000 That was fun. 1.00

02:49:32.000 That was so much fun, brother. 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 19, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1336 - Legion of Skanks

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript