The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #1390 - Tim Dillon

00:00:02.000 Two.

00:00:03.000 One.

00:00:04.000 Ladies and gentlemen, the president of the Megyn Kelly fan...

00:00:06.000 No.

00:00:06.000 Megan McCain.

00:00:07.000 I fucked it up. 0.99

00:00:08.000 Megan McCain. 0.99

00:00:09.000 President of the Megan McCain fan club.

00:00:11.000 Has she reached out to you at all?

00:00:11.000 She's blocked me.

00:00:12.000 No.

00:00:13.000 She blocked me and I didn't tag her in the video because I'm not that guy.

00:00:18.000 Right.

00:00:18.000 But I did, you know, I mean, I put it out there into the world.

00:00:23.000 She's not thrilled.

00:00:25.000 Probably.

00:00:26.000 I know somebody that knows her pretty well.

00:00:28.000 Yeah.

00:00:28.000 And they said that she is not happy.

00:00:32.000 With my depiction of her.

00:00:34.000 She did, though, after the first video, she lost a lot of weight.

00:00:38.000 Seems like she put it back on.

00:00:39.000 She did.

00:00:40.000 And I yo-yo with her.

00:00:42.000 So when she gets thinner, I get thinner so I can do her.

00:00:45.000 And when she plumps up, I plump back up.

00:00:48.000 So that's where we're at, is that I just kind of mirror her.

00:00:52.000 How uncomfortable.

00:00:54.000 She's, I would, you know, I always, because, you know, sometimes I'll go back to New York to do shows and I imagine, like, what if I'm in a restaurant and I see her and, you know, what would a meeting be like?

00:01:05.000 Because I have no...

00:01:06.000 Real ill will.

00:01:07.000 It's just comedy.

00:01:08.000 It's just comedy.

00:01:09.000 Yeah.

00:01:09.000 She's just...

00:01:10.000 She's a big public figure. 0.99

00:01:11.000 She's a big public figure and she behaves sometimes in a ridiculous way. 1.00

00:01:16.000 She calls herself a self-made woman. 0.99

00:01:18.000 I mean, these are things that are insane.

00:01:21.000 Yes, that's insane.

00:01:21.000 I mean, this is, you know, she's not self-paid.

00:01:25.000 And listen, I love that she loves her dad.

00:01:29.000 Yeah.

00:01:29.000 But there's a limit to the constant, you know, if you want people to forget that your dad is the reason you have the job, you can't bring him up every five minutes.

00:01:40.000 Well, don't you think she's in a real pickle? 1.00

00:01:43.000 Because that show is how she makes a living. 1.00

00:01:47.000 So she's on that show.

00:01:48.000 So if you're on that show, that's one of the things you've got to talk about.

00:01:51.000 Absolutely.

00:01:52.000 But I would say if she toned it down a little bit. 0.81

00:01:55.000 Tone it down! 1.00

00:01:56.000 You can't tone it down though. 0.96

00:01:58.000 See, one of the things about that show that's ridiculous, like this conversation we're having is very easy. 0.88

00:02:03.000 It's you and me. 0.94

00:02:04.000 That's it.

00:02:05.000 I let you talk.

00:02:06.000 You let me talk.

00:02:06.000 We talk.

00:02:07.000 We express ourselves.

00:02:08.000 No problem. 1.00

00:02:09.000 That's a goddamn battle zone. 1.00

00:02:10.000 It's a fight. 1.00

00:02:11.000 That's a vagina battle zone. 1.00

00:02:13.000 And you have a lot of great intellectuals that are battling out all the things. 0.93

00:02:18.000 Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.

00:02:20.000 These are brilliant people who we need to hear from.

00:02:23.000 And they speak in three-minute clips.

00:02:25.000 But I used to like the show when Rosie O'Donnell would go on and start talking about Tower 7. That was great.

00:02:31.000 That was fun.

00:02:32.000 That was fun.

00:02:33.000 It can be fun.

00:02:35.000 Yeah, that was interesting, what Rosie was doing.

00:02:38.000 Rosie would just go on and start talking about Tower 7, and it was like, oh, this is a fun morning show.

00:02:44.000 This is ABC morning.

00:02:45.000 It's a little wacky.

00:02:46.000 Yeah, it's like, I'll get on board for this.

00:02:47.000 Why'd they take her off of that?

00:02:49.000 Did she not get along with somebody?

00:02:50.000 It was a girl from Survivor, right?

00:02:52.000 Yeah, Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

00:02:54.000 Her and Rosie used to fight all the time. 0.95

00:02:56.000 Yeah, she's like one of them hot Fox News fembot type characters. 1.00

00:03:01.000 Yeah, I used to do Red Eye on Fox News, which would air at 3am.

00:03:05.000 They would bring in like all these hot blondes, would sit in the green room, and they would be nice. 0.99

00:03:09.000 And they'd be like, I'm Miss Tallahassee.

00:03:12.000 And then they would get on Fox, Red Eye, and then the cameras would turn on and they would start going, Syria! 1.00

00:03:19.000 And I would be like, Syria?

00:03:21.000 What the hell do you know about Syria?

00:03:24.000 I mean, but they would just go and go.

00:03:27.000 Right.

00:03:27.000 And that was a fun show because Red Eye was a show that was on at 3 a.m.

00:03:33.000 Yes.

00:03:33.000 And nobody really watched it.

00:03:36.000 And nothing you said would get recorded.

00:03:38.000 Like, there would be no clips or anything.

00:03:40.000 So you could kind of just go wild.

00:03:42.000 For a while.

00:03:43.000 So comedians like me, who had no knowledge or background knowledge on anything, got to...

00:03:50.000 And I would wear, like, a jacket.

00:03:51.000 So you wouldn't know...

00:03:53.000 I guess it would say comedian under me, but not always.

00:03:56.000 And I used to just go on that and just say whatever I wanted to.

00:03:59.000 And I'd be sitting next to John Bolton.

00:04:04.000 And they didn't pay you.

00:04:05.000 They would just give you a card wherever you were going.

00:04:08.000 And I would just come on and say whatever the hell I wanted.

00:04:10.000 And in a news studio.

00:04:11.000 Yeah.

00:04:12.000 So that was like a funny...

00:04:13.000 But that's when I met a lot of those...

00:04:15.000 And by the way, they're all fun people.

00:04:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:04:17.000 They're all fun people.

00:04:18.000 Well, I think there's a business in being a fembot. 1.00

00:04:20.000 And I don't begrudge them like I don't begrudge bodybuilders who are on Instagram.

00:04:26.000 This is my new ab set.

00:04:29.000 We'll take you guys through this.

00:04:31.000 I don't begrudge them guys either.

00:04:33.000 I just think there's businesses.

00:04:35.000 And we have to recognize that a lot of people who are really right-wing like women. 0.97

00:04:43.000 And they like hot blonde women with big tits who really are not into immigration. 1.00

00:04:47.000 They don't like immigration. 0.99

00:04:49.000 They hate immigration. 1.00

00:04:51.000 But there's like a fucking market for them. 1.00

00:04:53.000 Huge. 1.00

00:04:53.000 I mean, Tommy Lahren. 1.00

00:04:54.000 Yeah.

00:04:54.000 I mean, it started, I guess, with Ann Coulter.

00:04:56.000 Lauren Southern.

00:04:57.000 Lauren Southern.

00:04:58.000 They have a lot of...

00:04:59.000 There's a bunch of new ones now.

00:05:01.000 Attractive women that are... 1.00

00:05:03.000 Yeah, I don't follow as closely because it starts to feel like you're in a loop.

00:05:06.000 Yes.

00:05:07.000 It starts to feel like with the news that you're in a loop.

00:05:09.000 Well, the best one, in my opinion, is Candace Owens. 0.99

00:05:14.000 Because they bring her into these conversations and they underestimate her.

00:05:18.000 I've seen that several times.

00:05:20.000 They did a great thing, and I forget who did it, but it was her and Killer Mike.

00:05:23.000 It was a panel that maybe P. Diddy sponsored or something, and it was a A panel of thought leaders in the black community, and she was on it, Killer Mike was on it, and one of the girls from Black Lives Matter, and it was a really interesting conversation.

00:05:39.000 Candace is very smart. 0.98

00:05:40.000 Oh, she's very smart.

00:05:41.000 I don't agree with her on some of the things she says, but she's very intelligent.

00:05:44.000 Here it is, yeah.

00:05:44.000 Killer Mike adds context to TI and Candace Owens' revolt summit argument.

00:05:49.000 Yeah, Diddy was, I think, in the front row, just, I'm going to get accused of being a racist, you know?

00:05:53.000 What do you mean?

00:05:54.000 You can't tell the difference?

00:05:55.000 Yeah.

00:05:56.000 And then Candace was also on something recently where some white woman who was a professor accused her of saying something racist.

00:06:04.000 And she shut that lady down so hard. 1.00

00:06:08.000 Yeah.

00:06:08.000 Because she was laughing at something.

00:06:11.000 And the woman tried to check her and shame her for what she was laughing at. 1.00

00:06:16.000 And she's like, no, no, no.

00:06:17.000 I'm laughing at you.

00:06:19.000 Wow.

00:06:19.000 I'm laughing at what you're saying.

00:06:21.000 Yeah.

00:06:22.000 We can't play it, right?

00:06:23.000 No, we couldn't play it. 0.98

00:06:24.000 If we play it, we'll fucking get pulled off of YouTube. 0.96

00:06:26.000 But it's... 0.99

00:06:27.000 She shut her down. 0.97

00:06:29.000 And there was also that Asian congressman. 1.00

00:06:32.000 He tried some stupid shit on her, too. 1.00

00:06:34.000 She shut him down, too. 1.00

00:06:35.000 Shut him down.

00:06:36.000 Well, he tried to take her out of context in front of her.

00:06:38.000 Like, she wasn't going to defend herself.

00:06:39.000 Well, it's also interesting about people like Candace Owens and people...

00:06:41.000 They just live in a battleground.

00:06:43.000 Oh, yeah.

00:06:43.000 She likes to go to war.

00:06:45.000 Everything's...

00:06:45.000 They wake up.

00:06:46.000 Knuckles up.

00:06:47.000 They get on Twitter.

00:06:48.000 Like, I could never live like that.

00:06:49.000 She gets out of bed like Nate is.

00:06:52.000 She's ready to...

00:06:53.000 I could never, like, to me, to get up every day and go, who do I gotta wreck?

00:06:58.000 Right.

00:06:58.000 I just couldn't do it.

00:06:59.000 But you meet her in real life.

00:07:01.000 She's a nice lady. 1.00

00:07:02.000 Yeah, I'm sure a lot of them are.

00:07:04.000 But they're like, you didn't meet Ann Coulter.

00:07:05.000 They're all very nice.

00:07:07.000 But they're always, you know, they're just ready.

00:07:09.000 They live in the combat zone.

00:07:11.000 But look, we're talking about her and more than a million people are going to hear this.

00:07:14.000 Right.

00:07:15.000 So she's doing the right thing.

00:07:16.000 She is.

00:07:17.000 Yeah.

00:07:17.000 And that's a business.

00:07:18.000 Just like you talking shit about Meghan McCain. 0.99

00:07:21.000 Right. 1.00

00:07:21.000 It's kind of a business. 1.00

00:07:22.000 Right. 0.99

00:07:22.000 You're never talking shit about her. 0.99

00:07:23.000 You're pretending to be her. 0.99

00:07:24.000 I'm pretending to be her.

00:07:26.000 I'm stealing her essence.

00:07:28.000 Ooh.

00:07:28.000 I've heard that before.

00:07:29.000 That's kind of what I'm doing.

00:07:30.000 How long did she block you?

00:07:33.000 Did you pay attention?

00:07:34.000 Did you check every day?

00:07:35.000 I didn't check every day, but I think it was somewhere after the first video, which was a really, really fun one, and she didn't like that.

00:07:42.000 The thing now I'm nervous about is with all the new YouTube rules, can they just decide to get rid of my account for or to just say it's not commercially viable?

00:07:51.000 You don't have a real problem with that because you're making fun of someone on the right.

00:07:56.000 Interesting.

00:07:56.000 But I do make fun of people on the left.

00:07:58.000 I mean, I did a video where I pretended to be the agent of the climate girl, Greta Thunberg.

00:08:02.000 Because I'm like, you know, I pretended to be like David Hogg's agent.

00:08:05.000 You can absolutely play it.

00:08:06.000 Yeah, play that, play that.

00:08:07.000 Absolutely play it.

00:08:08.000 Is it on Instagram?

00:08:09.000 It's on my YouTube channel.

00:08:12.000 I'm sure it's on Instagram, but I don't know if it's IGTV or whatever. 1.00

00:08:15.000 Because I want to fuck with everybody. 0.99

00:08:17.000 So I was like, this girl, Greta Thunberg, let's be honest, she has some good points, but it's a little creepy. 0.99

00:08:22.000 It's a little creepy.

00:08:23.000 Well, she's like, how old is she?

00:08:25.000 She's too young for me to say that about.

00:08:27.000 Is she like 14?

00:08:28.000 Yes.

00:08:29.000 She could be 52, though.

00:08:30.000 Yes, it's creepy.

00:08:32.000 Something's wrong.

00:08:32.000 I turned on my TV and she was like, how dare you?

00:08:35.000 And I'm like, well, why are we starting there?

00:08:37.000 But there's something about her face, too.

00:08:38.000 It's almost like, did you hear the story about the couple?

00:08:41.000 I think she has a thing, potentially.

00:08:43.000 There was a couple that adopted a child from Russia and they thought that the child was a little kid and it turned out she might have been 30. They don't know how old she was.

00:08:55.000 She tried to kill them. 1.00

00:08:58.000 She scared them. 1.00

00:08:59.000 It's a fucking horror movie. 1.00

00:09:00.000 These are the best stories. 1.00

00:09:01.000 They thought they were adopting a little kid, like a little six-year-old. 1.00

00:09:04.000 It's a fucking 30-year-old with some sort of a metabolic disease. 0.99

00:09:07.000 Yeah, well that serves you right for trying to be a do-gooder, you know? 0.99

00:09:10.000 They'll never do anything again for anybody.

00:09:12.000 They'll never do one thing.

00:09:14.000 Like the husband will try to bring it up. 1.00

00:09:15.000 She's like, fuck you, Herman! 1.00

00:09:16.000 Fuck you! 1.00

00:09:17.000 You almost got me killed by that midget! 1.00

00:09:19.000 I mean, the idea that there are midgets dressing up as children and trying to burrow into family so that they can wake up in the middle of the night and kill them is truly the funniest thing that has happened in recent memory. 1.00

00:09:33.000 I don't think she's technically a midget. 1.00

00:09:34.000 I think she's something else.

00:09:35.000 Whatever she was, she has a growth disorder that keeps her looking like a small child. 0.65

00:09:40.000 Did you see there was a video recently where it looked like a kid was getting thrown off a bus?

00:09:44.000 Yes, yes, yes.

00:09:45.000 And it was like a little person who was just thrown off a bus.

00:09:48.000 But it was a scam.

00:09:51.000 Oh, was it fake?

00:09:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:09:52.000 Okay.

00:09:53.000 Ari and I both got duped.

00:09:54.000 I got duped because my friend texted me. 0.98

00:09:56.000 They go, there's a pedophile midget that just got thrown off a bus. 1.00

00:09:58.000 It is hilarious. 0.99

00:09:59.000 It is the funniest thing ever.

00:10:00.000 When he unzips the hood and you see this grown-up face? 1.00

00:10:04.000 There's a woman who looks like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:10:06.000 I don't think they were in on it. 0.99

00:10:08.000 No, I don't think they knew.

00:10:09.000 The people on the outside didn't know.

00:10:10.000 I think the guy threw that guy off the bus and that was the scam.

00:10:14.000 And then the dude who was the little person in the hoodie, he was in on the scam.

00:10:18.000 They were all in on it.

00:10:20.000 But I don't think the people on the street were in on it.

00:10:21.000 So now what happens when these little people wake up and they're like activated? 0.88

00:10:27.000 They're like, I'm going to kill the family. 0.99

00:10:28.000 How do they try to kill them? 0.99

00:10:30.000 Well, this lady, she was threatening. 0.98

00:10:32.000 She was threatening to kill the family and they were really worried that she was going to do that.

00:10:35.000 She was going to poison them or something like that. 1.00

00:10:37.000 I think that's what it was.

00:10:38.000 It's scary stuff.

00:10:39.000 It's a horror movie. 0.97

00:10:40.000 Because, you know, you gotta think, who knows what kind of abuse this little kid had gone through, well, actually a 30-year-old, as a little kid through in Russia, you know, in all these foster homes and foster care, and, you know, they are fucking ruthless over there. 0.96

00:10:55.000 It's rough. 0.98

00:10:56.000 It's rough.

00:10:57.000 I imagine it's not the best place to grow up as a person with a disorder.

00:11:00.000 What's up, Jamie?

00:11:03.000 I feel like I'm hearing...

00:11:04.000 Are you saying that happened in Russia or was it a Russian kid?

00:11:06.000 It's a Russian kid.

00:11:07.000 Okay, this happened in Indiana.

00:11:09.000 It's actually a Ukrainian kid.

00:11:11.000 Ukraine is part of Russia.

00:11:12.000 That's okay, isn't it?

00:11:13.000 It's one of the former Soviet Union.

00:11:15.000 It's fine.

00:11:16.000 They're Russian.

00:11:16.000 They had it for three years before they figured this out.

00:11:18.000 Oh my god.

00:11:21.000 Now, were those three years nice?

00:11:23.000 Were there nice memories?

00:11:24.000 It started out good.

00:11:25.000 Isn't that odd to look back and be like, remember when we all went to Disney World? 1.00

00:11:28.000 No, they were probably like, hey, this bitch isn't growing. 1.00

00:11:31.000 I think they said that she was creepy. 0.99

00:11:32.000 In the article that I read, I think they would wake up and see her standing at the door. 0.75

00:11:37.000 I think there were things that she did that, yeah, very, very bad.

00:11:42.000 What does she look like? 0.94

00:11:43.000 Do they have an image of her?

00:11:44.000 I'm trying to find...

00:11:45.000 I'm trying to find another one.

00:11:46.000 I saw a picture of her.

00:11:47.000 I saw a picture of her.

00:11:49.000 Did she go to jail now? 0.99

00:11:49.000 It was real weird looking. 0.99

00:11:51.000 She didn't look like a little person.

00:11:53.000 She looked like a young person.

00:11:54.000 It was very strange.

00:11:56.000 Yeah.

00:11:56.000 I mean, I hope she finds another family.

00:11:58.000 I hope she keeps doing this to different families because whatever happened in this bitch's life was so bad that she needs to do this. 1.00

00:12:06.000 Let her do it. 0.99

00:12:07.000 You can't do it to the wrong family.

00:12:09.000 They can feed you to the wolves. 0.86

00:12:10.000 You do it to the wrong family.

00:12:11.000 Absolutely.

00:12:13.000 Yeah, it's...

00:12:14.000 I worry about that though at YouTube because I say, is it...

00:12:18.000 You build a whole career.

00:12:20.000 You build people that are your fans.

00:12:22.000 They want to see comedy.

00:12:23.000 And I always thought that like, okay, I'm not going to be able to do this on like mainstream TV, but these are funny things that I can do.

00:12:30.000 There she is.

00:12:30.000 Look at her.

00:12:30.000 Oh my God.

00:12:31.000 She does look...

00:12:32.000 Okay, so it is a little person.

00:12:33.000 She looks like a child.

00:12:35.000 But strange.

00:12:35.000 It's not like a regular...

00:12:36.000 Look at the one down the middle.

00:12:38.000 The middle and the lower...

00:12:39.000 Look at that.

00:12:39.000 That's horrific.

00:12:40.000 That one right there.

00:12:41.000 That's terrifying.

00:12:43.000 Ukrainian child.

00:12:44.000 She might even be 30. But it's also, how is she going to kill you? 0.97

00:12:46.000 I guess in the middle of the night or something. 1.00

00:12:48.000 Cut your fucking neck, man. 1.00

00:12:50.000 Yeah, that's true. 1.00

00:12:50.000 Bro, there she looks 30. That's creepy. 1.00

00:12:53.000 There's something weird.

00:12:54.000 They thought it was a little kid.

00:12:55.000 Yep.

00:12:56.000 That's so strange.

00:12:57.000 Don't adopt, folks. 0.94

00:12:59.000 Oh my god.

00:13:00.000 Do not adopt.

00:13:00.000 That's so strange.

00:13:02.000 Get that one there.

00:13:03.000 Yeah, when your cursor's on.

00:13:04.000 Look at that one.

00:13:05.000 That one freaks me out.

00:13:06.000 Because you'd be like, something's wrong.

00:13:08.000 You would never think that was a murderous young adult.

00:13:11.000 He's either 8 or 22, that everyone was talking about.

00:13:14.000 I don't think they think 22 now.

00:13:16.000 I think some people think as old as 30, and I think the youngest they think she is is 16. And there's no records?

00:13:21.000 No one can prove anything? 0.99

00:13:22.000 No, they don't know what the fuck's going on. 0.99

00:13:25.000 You know... 1.00

00:13:26.000 It's so crazy.

00:13:28.000 She had period, she had adult teeth.

00:13:30.000 LAUGHTER Well...

00:13:33.000 Guess what?

00:13:34.000 She's not 12. That's an indication that...

00:13:36.000 I mean, did she never see a doctor in three years?

00:13:39.000 Oh, scroll back up.

00:13:39.000 Hold on a second.

00:13:40.000 Look at this.

00:13:40.000 She had periods.

00:13:41.000 She had adult teeth.

00:13:42.000 Who alleges that after Natalia began acting out violently, attacking a baby boy, pushing Christine into an electric fence, and making death threats, the family sought out psychiatric health.

00:13:53.000 Health care officials, including Barnett's primary care physician who performed a bone density test and a clinical therapist who treated Natalia, believe her to be an adult impersonating a child. 1.00

00:14:03.000 Holy fuck! 0.99

00:14:05.000 Can you imagine when you're in the doctor's office and getting that diagnosis? 1.00

00:14:08.000 They do a bone density test and the kid's just sitting there.

00:14:12.000 Yeah.

00:14:12.000 It turns out it's an adult.

00:14:14.000 Can you imagine going in and you're ready to hear like she's got cancer or brain damage and she go, actually, you're raising a 30-year-old from the Ukraine?

00:14:21.000 Look at this.

00:14:22.000 In 2012, a judge approved the Barnett's application to have Natalia's date of birth officially revised to September 4th, 1989, officially changing her age from 8 to 22. Shortly after, they rented Natalia an apartment and placed her under the supervision of an Indiana state health care provider so she could receive psychiatric treatment as an adult.

00:14:45.000 That's an understanding family.

00:14:47.000 And then the parents moved to Canada.

00:14:48.000 They left the country.

00:14:49.000 But they rented her an apartment and then left the country.

00:14:52.000 Christine Barnett then moved to Canada with her son Jacob.

00:14:57.000 And they got arrested.

00:14:58.000 Autistic child prodigy about whom she wrote...

00:15:01.000 Oh, is that the parent?

00:15:02.000 Yeah.

00:15:03.000 It's her parent.

00:15:04.000 Yeah.

00:15:05.000 No, the Barnetts. 0.98

00:15:06.000 They're the Barnetts. 0.99

00:15:07.000 They're the ones who would adopt them.

00:15:08.000 Right, so Christine's the one that, but she took, so she left the husband and moved to Canada?

00:15:13.000 Yeah, they're divorced now.

00:15:14.000 Oh, well that'll do it.

00:15:15.000 It's a tough thing for marriage to survive.

00:15:18.000 Yeah, you survive, you rented an adult. 0.98

00:15:20.000 Yeah, you rented an adult who was going to kill you. 0.95

00:15:23.000 Pretending to be a kid, pushing you into an electric fence.

00:15:25.000 I feel like they...

00:15:27.000 They had a dinner and they said, whatever in our marriage made us think this was a good idea, we should just separate.

00:15:32.000 They got arrested for abandoning her in that apartment.

00:15:37.000 What?

00:15:37.000 The story goes further, I believe.

00:15:39.000 Oh my god.

00:15:41.000 2019, prosecutors in Tippecanoe, Indiana.

00:15:44.000 That's your number one problem right there.

00:15:47.000 Tippecanoe, Indiana.

00:15:48.000 Brought formal charges of neglect against the Barnetts, now divorced.

00:15:52.000 An affidavit of probable cause from 2014 provided by Refinery29 refers to tests performed by Peyton Manning Children's Hospital in 2013 that seemed to contradict earlier medical reports about Natalia's age.

00:16:06.000 Investigators at the time found Natalia's claims that she was a Ukrainian child who had been abandoned by the Barnett's credible.

00:16:13.000 But Michael Barnett's attorney told the Daily Mail that the charges had been filed because another couple, perhaps convinced by Natalia that she was a minor, had petitioned to become her guardian.

00:16:23.000 Oh my god, she tried to rope another family. 1.00

00:16:25.000 She's good!

00:16:26.000 Explaining Natalia was living on her own and a couple wanted to become her guardians.

00:16:32.000 Thinking she was still a child, the couple tried to overturn the 2012 results. 0.97

00:16:37.000 So they tried to overturn her fucking age. 1.00

00:16:40.000 And adopt her again. 0.99

00:16:41.000 Despite new tests commissioned by that couple, the court upheld the original result, which maintained that Natalia was an adult.

00:16:48.000 The couple later dropped their guardianship petition once she tried to kill them, too. 0.79

00:16:53.000 Wow.

00:16:53.000 I heard that last part.

00:16:56.000 Where is Natalia today? 1.00

00:16:58.000 Whereabouts are currently unknown.

00:17:00.000 Her age remains a subject of much debate.

00:17:02.000 She's touring with Skippy from Family Talks.

00:17:05.000 The Jewish Clubs in Connecticut.

00:17:07.000 She's on the Blues Clues tour.

00:17:09.000 Jesus Christ.

00:17:10.000 I mean, listen, you know, that's a guest.

00:17:13.000 You want to get a guest?

00:17:15.000 That girl. 0.91

00:17:16.000 I would have someone in the room with a gun.

00:17:17.000 You sit her on a stack of phone books?

00:17:19.000 I might have a gun.

00:17:20.000 You might adopt her.

00:17:20.000 I might have a gun.

00:17:21.000 You might bring her home.

00:17:22.000 Uh-uh.

00:17:22.000 You might fall for it.

00:17:24.000 She might be riding Marshall around the house.

00:17:26.000 No, I have real kids.

00:17:27.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:17:28.000 I know the kids.

00:17:28.000 I understand kids.

00:17:29.000 It is wild.

00:17:30.000 Do you think, could you ever get duped like that?

00:17:32.000 Yeah, you could get duped.

00:17:33.000 Yeah.

00:17:34.000 If someone's really, really, really good and you're tired...

00:17:37.000 Yeah, if you're working hard, you just come...

00:17:40.000 You drink a little bit, maybe you're on some antidepressants that make you a little loopy.

00:17:43.000 I wonder if the parents are like, how good of parents are we that for three years we didn't know that we had a 30-year-old psychopath living in our house?

00:17:51.000 Like, maybe we're not the best at this.

00:17:52.000 She's got a bush. 1.00

00:17:53.000 That was the other thing.

00:17:54.000 They found out that she had pubic hairs. 1.00

00:17:56.000 Full bush, adult teeth.

00:17:57.000 Adult teeth.

00:17:58.000 Death threats. 0.92

00:17:59.000 How do you make a death threat when you look like a kid like that? 0.68

00:18:02.000 I mean, it's crazy.

00:18:03.000 Like Chucky. 0.72

00:18:03.000 He scared the fuck out of everybody. 0.72

00:18:04.000 That's what it is. 1.00

00:18:05.000 Fuck you, I'll kill you. 1.00

00:18:06.000 Dude, Chucky was terrifying. 1.00

00:18:08.000 People say sometimes I look like Chucky, which is not nice.

00:18:10.000 That's not true.

00:18:11.000 Those people are mean.

00:18:12.000 I agree, but there's a lot of people on YouTube that like to just let it fly.

00:18:15.000 They really like to let it fly.

00:18:17.000 You're not supposed to read that stuff.

00:18:18.000 I know, but sometimes I do.

00:18:19.000 I don't know about that, but I... You're getting a little too famous to read YouTube comments.

00:18:22.000 I read the stuff, and sometimes it's brutal.

00:18:24.000 Yeah.

00:18:25.000 And sometimes I'll answer, like never on YouTube, but sometimes on IG, Instagram, I'll answer and say something back.

00:18:31.000 One guy said something to me once, and I said something back to him.

00:18:34.000 I went, because I looked at his page, and it was just his chick holding a bunch of other people's kids.

00:18:39.000 So I said, why don't you impregnate your girlfriend so she doesn't have to run around with other people's kids? 1.00

00:18:44.000 So it was wild.

00:18:46.000 And then they deleted my comment.

00:18:48.000 Whoa.

00:18:48.000 Yeah.

00:18:49.000 And he was going after you?

00:18:49.000 He was going after me.

00:18:50.000 I went back at him.

00:18:51.000 And they deleted yours?

00:18:52.000 And they deleted my comment.

00:18:54.000 Wow.

00:18:54.000 This is the world we're living in now.

00:18:57.000 Well, you shouldn't- It wasn't appropriate for me to go to his page.

00:19:00.000 Well, it's natural, though.

00:19:01.000 It was wrong, but I did it.

00:19:02.000 It's counterpunching.

00:19:03.000 It's natural.

00:19:03.000 It was just, I was trying to, you know, this is my job.

00:19:06.000 Yeah, you get him.

00:19:06.000 You gotta go.

00:19:07.000 Yeah, you're better off.

00:19:09.000 Look, I understand people that are sitting in a job somewhere, sitting in a cubicle, angry. 0.95

00:19:15.000 And they see someone like yourself or like me, and Jamie, I'm sure he gets hate too, and they just get fucking angry. 1.00

00:19:22.000 Maybe you said something stupid. 1.00

00:19:23.000 I say something stupid all the time. 1.00

00:19:25.000 Me too. 1.00

00:19:25.000 And then they want to come get you. 1.00

00:19:26.000 And they want to yell at you or make you feel like shit or say something awful, something really mean. 0.99

00:19:32.000 And sometimes it gets you. 1.00

00:19:33.000 Sometimes it'll get you.

00:19:34.000 But I would rather give them that.

00:19:37.000 This is what I feel.

00:19:38.000 I'd rather let them.

00:19:39.000 Let them have it.

00:19:40.000 Go say it. 0.80

00:19:41.000 Take your shot.

00:19:41.000 No, but this is how I feel.

00:19:43.000 It's not personal.

00:19:44.000 Right.

00:19:44.000 Like, I get it.

00:19:46.000 Like, I used to be me.

00:19:47.000 I mean, I used to be you.

00:19:49.000 When I was young and coming up, but there was no internet to do this.

00:19:54.000 If I had the internet, I guaranteed you. 0.99

00:19:57.000 I would have said some horrendous, ridiculous shit on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube comments. 1.00

00:20:03.000 No doubt. 1.00

00:20:05.000 We all would have.

00:20:05.000 Everybody would've.

00:20:06.000 I don't want to read them, I don't want them to upset me, and I don't want to be upset at them, and if I see them, I don't want to know they said it, because it's not real.

00:20:18.000 It's not real in that it is their real thought, and they did write it, But they don't really know me.

00:20:23.000 Right.

00:20:23.000 And a lot of it is just, it's fun.

00:20:26.000 Sometimes I'll just respond to somebody and they'll go, hey, and they'll totally, like they'll say something nasty and then I'll respond and then they'll go, hey, just kidding.

00:20:32.000 Love the podcast.

00:20:33.000 Normal.

00:20:34.000 And it's just like, oh, they just want interaction.

00:20:36.000 Yeah.

00:20:36.000 And that's why they said that I look like a potato skin.

00:20:39.000 Well, they're just fucking, people are angry, man. 1.00

00:20:41.000 Most people's lives suck. 1.00

00:20:43.000 Yeah, a lot of people, it's not great right now. 0.98

00:20:45.000 No, and even if it was not, even though the economy's doing better, the vast majority of people are not doing what they want to do with their lives. 0.93

00:20:53.000 And most people, at some point in your life, and I'm sure you've had jobs like that that are fucking terrible. 0.93

00:21:00.000 Absolutely. 0.84

00:21:00.000 We've all been there. 0.84

00:21:01.000 We've all been there.

00:21:02.000 And that feeling of frustration when you see someone on YouTube, and it's so easy to just say something gross and mad.

00:21:08.000 We all do it as comics, you know, because we'll see the trailer for somebody special or whatever, and we'll be like, ugh, you know?

00:21:15.000 And it's like, we shouldn't be focusing on that, but it's a lot of fun to commiserate with people in the shared hatred of something. 0.98

00:21:24.000 And when someone's doing well, like yourself, your videos start picking up a little steam, people start recommending it, it's fun to shit on you. 0.99

00:21:31.000 Yeah, absolutely. 0.99

00:21:32.000 Bring it down. 1.00

00:21:32.000 Fuck him. 1.00

00:21:32.000 He's not funny. 1.00

00:21:33.000 That Meghan McCain doesn't even sound like her.

00:21:35.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:35.000 That's true.

00:21:36.000 My favorite comment is just when someone will write, he's fat.

00:21:39.000 That's my favorite comment. 0.99

00:21:40.000 Someone will write, he's fat. 0.92

00:21:42.000 300 likes.

00:21:43.000 Thank you.

00:21:44.000 I appreciate.

00:21:45.000 I appreciate that.

00:21:46.000 He doesn't even sound like her.

00:21:48.000 Right, yeah.

00:21:48.000 That's a terrible impression.

00:21:50.000 Right.

00:21:50.000 Sounds like him.

00:21:51.000 Right, yeah.

00:21:53.000 I went to see, well, I was working with Otto and George way back in the day.

00:21:57.000 Yeah, Long Island guys, right?

00:21:58.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:21:59.000 And we were working at Dangerfields in Manhattan.

00:22:03.000 Yeah.

00:22:04.000 Joker. 0.98

00:22:04.000 And some lady, he's, you know, he would, Otto had a puppet named George, and he would do the, you know, he would work the puppet, and the puppet would say fucked up things. 0.98

00:22:14.000 And Otto would be like, hey, how are you saying that? 0.97

00:22:16.000 That's terrible.

00:22:17.000 And I remember this lady going, his lips are moving.

00:22:21.000 Right.

00:22:22.000 Right.

00:22:24.000 Because he didn't even try.

00:22:26.000 He was like the worst ventriloquist.

00:22:28.000 He was never trying to just do that.

00:22:30.000 He wasn't trying to do that at all.

00:22:32.000 He moved his lips.

00:22:33.000 She couldn't even concentrate on the jokes. 1.00

00:22:35.000 The puppet was saying the most horrendous, fucked up, ridiculous jokes. 1.00

00:22:39.000 And she was like, his lips are moving. 1.00

00:22:42.000 It said...

00:22:43.000 Yeah, they were amazing, man.

00:22:45.000 That, to me, is so funny how somebody could just key in on something like that while the entire audience is laughing and having a good time.

00:22:54.000 Everyone's having a great time.

00:22:55.000 His lips are moving.

00:22:57.000 It's not real.

00:22:57.000 Yeah, right.

00:22:58.000 She thinks she's focusing in on the important part.

00:23:02.000 And then everyone else is wrong.

00:23:03.000 The other 300 people that are dying on the floor are wrong.

00:23:06.000 Look by his mouth.

00:23:07.000 You see lines.

00:23:09.000 The mouth is on like a hinge.

00:23:11.000 The mouth goes up and down.

00:23:12.000 You can see where the lines are.

00:23:13.000 It's not a real mouth.

00:23:15.000 I love it.

00:23:16.000 That's fake.

00:23:16.000 I mean, what we do, and you're obviously in the big, big venues now, but I was just in a club this past weekend, and it's like, it's an interesting time in the country to get a bunch of people in a room, pour alcohol all over them, and just let them go.

00:23:31.000 Yes.

00:23:31.000 Because no matter what I say, if I say Trump, and my act is not political, but I'll mention things that are going on.

00:23:37.000 There's jokes.

00:23:38.000 And as soon as I say Trump, some of the crowd will go, woo!

00:23:41.000 And some of them will start booing.

00:23:43.000 And I'm like, yeah!

00:23:44.000 And I'm like, guys, that's not this.

00:23:46.000 I'm just here to make a joke about this.

00:23:49.000 So this isn't a rally.

00:23:50.000 I'm not taking your temperature.

00:23:51.000 It doesn't matter.

00:23:52.000 And they just, they're hammered.

00:23:55.000 And they're ready to just let you know where they're at.

00:23:58.000 Yeah.

00:23:58.000 You know?

00:23:59.000 It's just like a, it's a weird time for discourse.

00:24:02.000 Right.

00:24:02.000 It's a weird time for people shouting things out, too, because people think their opinion's more important than it's ever been before because of social media.

00:24:08.000 Right.

00:24:08.000 People are used to expressing themselves.

00:24:10.000 Right.

00:24:11.000 And I mean, and some crowds now, I mean, I think there's just a, you know, some perverse pride in, like, kind of putting you through it.

00:24:17.000 Yeah, a little bit. 0.94

00:24:17.000 You know, where I'll be like, you guys are animals. 0.94

00:24:19.000 You're a fucking animal. 1.00

00:24:20.000 Just a huge applause break. 1.00

00:24:21.000 We got you.

00:24:22.000 You know?

00:24:23.000 I was like, where did they hand that ticket to this show?

00:24:25.000 In Urgent Care?

00:24:26.000 You know?

00:24:26.000 They love it.

00:24:27.000 They're clapping, you know?

00:24:28.000 Yeah.

00:24:28.000 So...

00:24:29.000 Well, they're looking for something that's different than most of what you're getting on television and in websites.

00:24:34.000 Yes. 0.99

00:24:35.000 You're getting this fucking politically correct, woke nonsense. 1.00

00:24:39.000 Right. 0.99

00:24:39.000 And people are rejecting it. 0.99

00:24:40.000 Look, Charlie's Angels, fuck you. 1.00

00:24:43.000 Terminator, fuck you. 1.00

00:24:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:24:44.000 Get woke, go broke. 1.00

00:24:46.000 Yeah, that's what it is.

00:24:47.000 That's what people are saying now.

00:24:47.000 They're like, they're People are done with it.

00:24:49.000 People are done.

00:24:49.000 People are sick of it.

00:24:51.000 People don't realize the business we're in doesn't have a soul.

00:24:54.000 They don't care.

00:24:55.000 Eventually, it's going to swing back the other way because it's money.

00:25:00.000 Joker did great.

00:25:01.000 These things do well. 0.99

00:25:03.000 That's a fucked up movie. 1.00

00:25:04.000 It's a fucked up movie and it was great. 1.00

00:25:07.000 Look at Roseanne. 1.00

00:25:09.000 25 million people tuned in to the premiere of Roseanne.

00:25:13.000 Do you know how much money that must have cost ABC to fire her for that?

00:25:17.000 A lot. 1.00

00:25:17.000 It was so dumb. 1.00

00:25:19.000 It took me a while to convince her to come on the podcast. 0.99

00:25:22.000 She was supposed to do it a long time ago. 0.99

00:25:24.000 Dude, we had fucking camera crews trying to get to my house. 0.98

00:25:27.000 We had camera crews outside our old studio where we used to be. 1.00

00:25:30.000 It was madness, man.

00:25:32.000 It was crazy. 1.00

00:25:33.000 That one thing, by the way, is extremely insulting and fucking stupid and archaic. 1.00

00:25:39.000 Do you think you just find me, I'm going to talk to you? 1.00

00:25:41.000 Do you think you put a camera in front of me now? 1.00

00:25:43.000 Your fucking rudimentary interview skills? 1.00

00:25:45.000 Yeah, you're going to be like, oh, you got me. 1.00

00:25:47.000 Yeah.

00:25:48.000 Oh, well, here, let me give you my statement.

00:25:50.000 Here, I'll give you the scoop. 1.00

00:25:51.000 Fuck you. 1.00

00:25:51.000 I'll stay a bunch of shit you can't talk, you can't put on your air. 1.00

00:25:54.000 Will you just walk by them? 1.00

00:25:56.000 I'm like, I'm not interested in talking to you.

00:25:58.000 Right.

00:25:58.000 This is not how it works.

00:25:59.000 You don't just show up to get an interview.

00:26:01.000 You schedule it through...

00:26:02.000 Right.

00:26:02.000 There's proper channels.

00:26:03.000 There's proper channels.

00:26:04.000 Yeah.

00:26:05.000 You know how to do it.

00:26:05.000 They know how to do it.

00:26:06.000 They just think they're going to be like, this is news.

00:26:08.000 You guys are archaic.

00:26:10.000 You're not even real. 1.00

00:26:11.000 You guys are fucking shaman. 1.00

00:26:13.000 And does anyone care? 1.00

00:26:13.000 Is there real money in that anymore? 1.00

00:26:15.000 Is there real money in Justin Bieber having sushi?

00:26:17.000 Does anyone care?

00:26:18.000 I'm sure some people care with the websites.

00:26:20.000 There's a lot of clicking on...

00:26:21.000 TMZ makes a shitload of money.

00:26:23.000 I see other comics sometimes that take pictures with famous people and I go, what are you doing?

00:26:26.000 Stop doing that.

00:26:28.000 Stop doing that.

00:26:29.000 No one wants that.

00:26:30.000 They do it for the gram.

00:26:31.000 It's the worst thing in the world. 0.96

00:26:32.000 You have just a picture with a famous person that's miserable.

00:26:34.000 I was going to ask you for a picture after this.

00:26:35.000 Yeah, it's like, let's not.

00:26:37.000 Let's not.

00:26:39.000 It's the worst thing ever.

00:26:40.000 I yell at friends.

00:26:41.000 I go, don't do it.

00:26:42.000 Don't do it.

00:26:43.000 Well, people like to be associated with someone who's cool.

00:26:46.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:26:46.000 Get a picture with Josh Holmey from Queens of the Stone Age.

00:26:49.000 It's like a cool thing, I guess.

00:26:50.000 Look at me.

00:26:51.000 Yeah, but these people are pulling out people that were in like 90s sitcoms.

00:26:54.000 They'll just pick a guy out of an audience that was on Homicide, Life on the Street.

00:26:58.000 Right.

00:26:58.000 And they'll be like, hey, it's me.

00:26:59.000 And I'm like, let him be.

00:27:00.000 It's Ice-T. Yeah.

00:27:03.000 Ice-T has been a cop longer than he's been a rapper.

00:27:06.000 He's been a cop forever.

00:27:07.000 Isn't that so weird? 1.00

00:27:09.000 Remember, I'm a motherfucking cop killer? 0.99

00:27:11.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:11.000 He had a song called Cop Killer. 1.00

00:27:12.000 He's a good...

00:27:13.000 He's just a good TV cop.

00:27:15.000 Yeah.

00:27:15.000 You know?

00:27:16.000 That show's gotta be soul-sucking, though.

00:27:18.000 Yeah.

00:27:19.000 I bet you just can't wait to spend money.

00:27:20.000 I think after a while, it becomes just...

00:27:22.000 It's a routine job.

00:27:23.000 It's like anything else, and no one cares anymore.

00:27:26.000 Like, you know, there's shows that we all as comics do that are just routine jobs.

00:27:30.000 You know, things would just show up, and they're like, okay, here we go, and here are the topics, and make some jokes, and then it's like, boom, boom, boom.

00:27:35.000 I know, but at a certain point in time, you gotta be...

00:27:38.000 You've got to have enough money.

00:27:39.000 When I was on season 5 of Fear Factor, I remember thinking, I don't know how much longer I can do this.

00:27:44.000 What was it about it that was just too much repetitive?

00:27:47.000 It was the same thing over and over again.

00:27:49.000 We did 148 episodes.

00:27:51.000 Right. 0.99

00:27:52.000 It was just, after a while, it was just like, Jesus Christ, how many animal dicks can you serve people? 0.99

00:27:57.000 Right. 0.98

00:27:57.000 How many times can you throw them off builders? 0.98

00:27:59.000 Yeah, yeah, enough already.

00:28:02.000 There's no amount of money to get you to come back to do that or something like that.

00:28:06.000 I did come back in 2011. I came back.

00:28:10.000 But I didn't have as much money back then.

00:28:12.000 And also, it was a lot more money than I got the first time.

00:28:16.000 It was like a big deal.

00:28:18.000 I think it was.

00:28:20.000 I honestly don't remember about the money part.

00:28:22.000 But it was a big deal that it was going to come back, but I immediately regretted it.

00:28:26.000 Like, immediately, I was like, oh my god, I have a job again. 0.99

00:28:28.000 The fuck did I do? 0.98

00:28:29.000 But I had... 1.00

00:28:30.000 I was just having children then, you know?

00:28:33.000 Yeah, you wanted to...

00:28:34.000 Yeah, my kids were real young, and I was like, I need, like...

00:28:37.000 When you have a kid...

00:28:40.000 I had an older daughter, but I was already paid for most of that.

00:28:45.000 You have to think about two children, and you think about two children that are, at the time, two and one.

00:28:51.000 You're like, oh my god, this is serious.

00:28:55.000 You have 18 years.

00:28:57.000 I have to make a lot of money.

00:28:58.000 I think all the money I squirreled away from the original season of Fear Factor, that took care of my family for a long time, and it'll probably be okay.

00:29:07.000 I felt like this overwhelming responsibility to squirrel away more money.

00:29:10.000 More more money.

00:29:11.000 But then once I started doing it, I was like, oh my god, this is a mistake.

00:29:14.000 Yeah.

00:29:14.000 This is a mistake.

00:29:15.000 You're like, this is crazy.

00:29:16.000 I'm like, I don't like it.

00:29:17.000 It's not fun.

00:29:17.000 And then we got canceled because we served people jizz.

00:29:19.000 Was that the final straw?

00:29:21.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:29:22.000 They had a drink donkey cum. 0.99

00:29:24.000 And that was too much. 0.99

00:29:25.000 That was it.

00:29:26.000 Interesting.

00:29:27.000 TMZ saved me.

00:29:28.000 That was when you had the moral majority back then, and this was a problem.

00:29:32.000 That's when all the censorship came primarily from right-wing groups.

00:29:36.000 Sort of, yeah.

00:29:37.000 Was it the Obama administration?

00:29:39.000 Oh, this is the return.

00:29:41.000 Okay.

00:29:42.000 But...

00:29:43.000 What it was, was the show had to get more and more extreme.

00:29:49.000 And it was very dangerous.

00:29:50.000 Like, it was freaking me out.

00:29:52.000 Right.

00:29:52.000 Because they were taking a lot more crazy risks.

00:29:55.000 Like, one of them, you had a set of keys, and your partner was handcuffed to a tree. 0.99

00:30:01.000 And they were attached to a bungee cord that was attached to a fucking helicopter. 0.77

00:30:05.000 Okay, and the helicopter had this bungee cord taut, and they're flying in the sky above a giant canyon. 0.99

00:30:12.000 I mean, way the fuck up there, right?

00:30:13.000 So you got these keys, and you're working these keys, and the idea is the first person to get the key lock open, right? 0.70

00:30:19.000 You unlock the thing, and then, the person goes shooting into the sky.

00:30:23.000 And I remember seeing them going, what if something snaps?

00:30:25.000 What if something breaks?

00:30:26.000 What if we watch someone fall to their death? 0.99

00:30:28.000 Like, what the fuck are we doing? 1.00

00:30:29.000 You know, you just have a bunch of executives going, ugh. 0.99

00:30:32.000 They just make a face, you know?

00:30:33.000 They would just go, ugh.

00:30:35.000 Yeah.

00:30:35.000 Not great.

00:30:36.000 I had a joke about it that they were going to kill us all and then gun us down and then blame it on the terrorists.

00:30:41.000 Don't let the terrorists take away your fear factor.

00:30:44.000 Now back with Mario Lopez.

00:30:46.000 And I would just joke.

00:30:46.000 I was always joking around how Mario Lopez was going to replace me.

00:30:49.000 Did you ever feel weird morally about it because you have these people that are coming in that are putting themselves in these positions?

00:30:55.000 No, because I would have done it.

00:30:56.000 I would have done it when I was broke. 1.00

00:30:57.000 I would have eaten an animal dick. 1.00

00:30:59.000 I would have let you throw a puke in my face. 1.00

00:31:00.000 Right. 0.82

00:31:01.000 There are people that we know will do it now.

00:31:03.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:03.000 Absolutely.

00:31:04.000 Everybody that works at the store.

00:31:05.000 Yeah, we'll all do it now, and a lot of us have money.

00:31:07.000 And there was the idea that they could do that and move it on to a career.

00:31:11.000 The only one that's actually moved it on to a real career is Michael Yeo.

00:31:14.000 Michael Yeo was on season one of Fear Factor, episode one.

00:31:17.000 Episode 1. Interesting.

00:31:18.000 Is he a comic?

00:31:20.000 Yeah, he's a comic now.

00:31:20.000 He's doing really well.

00:31:22.000 That's wild.

00:31:22.000 Just filmed a special.

00:31:23.000 He's a really good guy, too.

00:31:24.000 That's great.

00:31:25.000 Really funny.

00:31:26.000 He's hilarious.

00:31:26.000 So some people can start on tear-factor.

00:31:29.000 100%.

00:31:30.000 Yeah.

00:31:30.000 One.

00:31:31.000 At 148 episodes, three people per episode.

00:31:34.000 Yeah.

00:31:34.000 I remember I tested for a reality show on Food Network, and they had me on set for about an hour, and they were like, yeah, this is not...

00:31:41.000 I said, I said, like, three things into the camera, and they go, none of this will ever...

00:31:45.000 This is not going to work.

00:31:47.000 What is this?

00:31:47.000 Well, they were just basically like, it was called hotspots, and they're like, tell us what you think a hotspot is.

00:31:53.000 What's a real cool hotspot?

00:31:54.000 And I was just like, a hotspot is when I try to get into it, the maitre d' tells me to kill myself.

00:32:00.000 And then they go, okay, well, let's do the joke again, but let's not say, kill yourself.

00:32:04.000 I'm like, well, that's the joke, right?

00:32:06.000 So they're like, just maybe say something like, when I try to get in, they say no.

00:32:10.000 And I'm like, yeah, but that's not funny.

00:32:12.000 So then we just tried to work around it a bunch of different ways, and I would just keep saying things, and you could tell they were just getting frustrated.

00:32:18.000 Networks like Food Network love the idea of comedians.

00:32:21.000 They're like, we love the idea of having a comedian come in to spice it up.

00:32:24.000 And then when they get a real comedian, they're like, we don't want that.

00:32:27.000 Well, they want a comedian with like three tracks.

00:32:30.000 Yeah.

00:32:31.000 They want like a real down the middle.

00:32:34.000 Goofy.

00:32:34.000 Not a lot of lane changing.

00:32:35.000 Because I was making fun of like, we had all the archetypes of the Food Network.

00:32:38.000 Like we had the fat southern woman that was supposed to be Paula Deen. 1.00

00:32:41.000 And she came in, she's like, have you ever had a redneck grilled cheese? 0.99

00:32:45.000 And I said, this woman's going to explode on set. 1.00

00:32:48.000 Because they said you can be playful with each other.

00:32:50.000 So I said, this woman's going to explode on set. 1.00

00:32:52.000 And they go, wait a minute, hold on.

00:32:54.000 And I'm like, you said we could be playful.

00:32:55.000 We had the Asian woman who was like, she just talked about wellness.

00:32:59.000 She was like, I want to be whole.

00:33:01.000 And I want to be one.

00:33:02.000 And I want to be wellness.

00:33:03.000 And then, so every, you know, you had the guy Fieri.

00:33:06.000 Like, you know, there's a million chefs that think they're Bourdain.

00:33:09.000 They think they're profound. 1.00

00:33:10.000 But in reality, they're just making fucking grilled cheese. 1.00

00:33:13.000 And they have tattoos. 0.98

00:33:14.000 But other than that, you know, so we had a bunch of those chefs who were like, I'm a hard part.

00:33:17.000 I've seen it all.

00:33:18.000 I've seen it all.

00:33:20.000 I've worked on the line. 1.00

00:33:21.000 It's like, shut up. 0.99

00:33:22.000 You've made gnocchi. 0.98

00:33:23.000 What Dane, with Kitchen Confidential, he changed what a chef is. 0.53

00:33:26.000 He changed what a chef is, but most chefs are not that.

00:33:29.000 And the reality is, you hear people now that travel around the country and they think that they're like...

00:33:35.000 And I love Bourdain.

00:33:36.000 Bourdain did a brilliant show, but sometimes Bourdain's show was interesting because he'd be sitting with a family in Turkey and they'd be like, well, we haven't seen our daughter in two days and we don't really know where she is.

00:33:45.000 It's a revolution.

00:33:46.000 And then they would start talking about hummus.

00:33:50.000 And I'd be like, what happened to your daughter?

00:33:52.000 What's going on?

00:33:53.000 Why are we talking about...

00:33:55.000 Figs right now. 1.00

00:33:57.000 There's a revolution happening.

00:33:58.000 This whole idea that I think Bourdain was a genius, but the people that have succeeded him haven't done it well.

00:34:06.000 Is anybody doing it that way where they're traveling around?

00:34:09.000 The Gordon Ramsay, they were talking about him doing something, but the backlash was immediate and fierce.

00:34:14.000 Because...

00:34:15.000 People were thinking that he was going to try to replace Bourdain.

00:34:18.000 Right.

00:34:19.000 But if he stays in his wheelhouse, his Hell's Kitchen, and doing all those shows that he did before, everybody would have been fine with it.

00:34:24.000 Right. 1.00

00:34:25.000 But they were like, hey, fuck you. 1.00

00:34:26.000 He's going to come, yeah. 1.00

00:34:28.000 Imagine doing No Reservations now, or what is the new show?

00:34:33.000 What was it?

00:34:34.000 Parts Unknown?

00:34:35.000 Parts Unknown.

00:34:35.000 Imagine, it's like, Parts Unknown with new host Tim Dillon.

00:34:39.000 No, it would not work. 1.00

00:34:40.000 It would be fucked. 1.00

00:34:42.000 They would come get you. 1.00

00:34:42.000 Yeah, no, it'd be a problem. 1.00

00:34:44.000 And it's also like, he was a really brilliant guy.

00:34:46.000 Most people that, like, they're like, oh, we're eating food and learning about the culture.

00:34:49.000 It's like, you're really not.

00:34:51.000 You're just having dinner.

00:34:52.000 He actually was.

00:34:52.000 He was.

00:34:53.000 Because he was curious and interested.

00:34:55.000 But most people that are like, it's just a lot of people pretentious.

00:34:59.000 Yeah.

00:35:00.000 And they think that they're learning about the culture through food.

00:35:03.000 We're learning about the culture through dining.

00:35:04.000 And it's like, you're not really.

00:35:06.000 You're eating in a resort.

00:35:08.000 You're not going anywhere outside of the resort because you would get harpooned.

00:35:12.000 So you're eating in a resort and then there's a black SUV that takes you back to the airport.

00:35:16.000 It's bulletproof.

00:35:17.000 It's bulletproof.

00:35:18.000 You've got armed guards flanking you on each side.

00:35:19.000 You know, the one time that you didn't have that, I was on the Impractical Jokers cruise, which they have a cruise.

00:35:24.000 They do a cruise and they're great guys.

00:35:26.000 And a bunch of comics came on to entertain people that were waiting to see them.

00:35:31.000 People are waiting to see them.

00:35:32.000 But we would come on and go, hey!

00:35:33.000 And they would think it was them and they'd be like, okay, it's this guy.

00:35:36.000 And there were fun audiences and everything.

00:35:37.000 But then the crews would dock and you would go to this little town in Mexico that was like clearly didn't exist.

00:35:43.000 It was just like, you know, all these cruise lines had bought just a certain amount of beachfront and made it a town.

00:35:49.000 Ooh.

00:35:50.000 Yeah, and they do this.

00:35:51.000 It was called Costa Maya.

00:35:52.000 They literally do this.

00:35:53.000 And you would walk onto this beach, and then literally, they would drive you to the little tourist area, but you would just see people running around with bare feet, roosters.

00:36:03.000 I mean, it was like you would drive through literal and crazy poverty, and you felt horrible because you were just on a boat that had 30 chefs.

00:36:11.000 Right.

00:36:11.000 You were just on this disgusting boat with a 24-hour buffet where people are gorging themselves, and then you go to this island where people's bones are protruding out of their body.

00:36:19.000 So it's a weird thing when you mix those worlds of food, travel, and education.

00:36:26.000 That's often how it is, though, if you stay in a resort in a country like Mexico.

00:36:31.000 I was in Punta Mita.

00:36:32.000 Yeah.

00:36:33.000 The Four Seasons, beautiful resort, man.

00:36:35.000 It's so pretty.

00:36:35.000 I've been kidding.

00:36:36.000 They have these golf carts.

00:36:39.000 Yeah.

00:36:39.000 And you just ride the golf carts around the resort, right?

00:36:41.000 Yeah.

00:36:42.000 Well, we decided to take the golf cart off the resort.

00:36:45.000 See, like, what happens if we go down this way?

00:36:47.000 So we talked to the guy at the booth.

00:36:49.000 We said, can we go down this way?

00:36:50.000 He's like, um, yeah, I mean, you can.

00:36:52.000 Sure.

00:36:53.000 I'm like, okay.

00:36:53.000 Yeah.

00:36:54.000 So we go down this way, me and my fucking wife and our little kids. 1.00

00:36:57.000 In the golf cart. 1.00

00:36:58.000 Yeah.

00:36:59.000 I think the oldest daughter was with us, too.

00:37:01.000 And we go into the town. 0.99

00:37:03.000 And as we're in the town, we notice that there's a fucking armored vehicle with a tank. 0.99

00:37:10.000 Jeez. 0.99

00:37:11.000 With metal plate on the front of it.

00:37:13.000 With a machine gun. 1.00

00:37:15.000 Standing on top of the fucking tank. 1.00

00:37:17.000 Like a turret. 1.00

00:37:19.000 Right.

00:37:19.000 And then ready to rock.

00:37:21.000 Were you staying at Hotel Rwanda?

00:37:23.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.

00:37:24.000 They have it set up to protect the resort.

00:37:27.000 Oh. 0.99

00:37:27.000 And I realize, I'm like, oh my god, this is a military base to protect the resort in case some shit goes down. 0.99

00:37:33.000 Wow. 0.99

00:37:34.000 This is crazy.

00:37:35.000 That's crazy.

00:37:35.000 They were sitting there ready and waiting.

00:37:38.000 Just sitting on the tank.

00:37:39.000 Yeah, mow people down.

00:37:40.000 Ready to go.

00:37:40.000 Just in case they had to drive a few, like a quarter mile.

00:37:44.000 In towards the resort.

00:37:45.000 That's wild. 0.97

00:37:46.000 Because you gotta realize, like, I mean, when we were there, fucking Halle Berry was there and all these famous folks were there. 0.97

00:37:52.000 Yeah, so they don't want that in the news. 0.97

00:37:54.000 Oh my god.

00:37:54.000 They don't want Halle Berry's head on a pike being walked around that town in Mexico.

00:37:59.000 So that doesn't do anything good for the numbers.

00:38:01.000 No, you saw what happened with that Mormon family in Mexico. 0.93

00:38:04.000 What happened?

00:38:05.000 No.

00:38:05.000 Every now and then, something bad, somebody goes somewhere and it just...

00:38:08.000 They gunned down this family.

00:38:09.000 They gunned down this wife and children and girls. 1.00

00:38:12.000 Weren't they missionaries, though?

00:38:13.000 Yes.

00:38:14.000 Which is sad, but it's also like...

00:38:15.000 No, no, no.

00:38:15.000 Not missionaries.

00:38:16.000 They live there.

00:38:17.000 Oh, okay.

00:38:17.000 What they is, they branched off.

00:38:20.000 Yeah.

00:38:21.000 From Utah in the 1800s when they changed the polygamy laws.

00:38:24.000 And they started up these colonies in northern Mexico. 0.92

00:38:27.000 Because back then, in the 1800s before cars, it really didn't fucking matter if you lived in Mexico or the United States. 0.59

00:38:33.000 Right. 0.71

00:38:33.000 Like, it was just kind of the same. 0.71

00:38:35.000 You're on a horse.

00:38:35.000 Joe Rogan comes out for open borders.

00:38:37.000 Here we go.

00:38:38.000 There's the clip.

00:38:39.000 Maybe it'll fix everything.

00:38:40.000 Right.

00:38:40.000 So...

00:38:41.000 They, you know, Mitt Romney, his family is from Mexico.

00:38:46.000 Interesting.

00:38:47.000 Yeah, Mitt Romney's dad was born in Mexico.

00:38:50.000 They seem like the least Mexican people ever. 1.00

00:38:52.000 They're Mormons.

00:38:53.000 Wow.

00:38:53.000 But they're Mormons who wanted 150 wives.

00:38:55.000 They just wanted to go on a wild fuckfest for Jesus. 1.00

00:38:57.000 And the only way to do that is over the border. 0.99

00:39:01.000 You gotta go over the border.

00:39:02.000 So they set up these towns. 1.00

00:39:03.000 So they set up these fucking compounds. 1.00

00:39:05.000 Of Mormons. 1.00

00:39:06.000 Mormons with guns. 0.89

00:39:07.000 In Mexico. 0.99

00:39:08.000 Yeah, over the border, in Mexico, northern Mexico, and apparently the cartel and them had beef, and they put out a fucking hit on this family, and they shot down the wife, the daughters. 1.00

00:39:20.000 I mean, it's just horrific shit, man. 0.99

00:39:22.000 Interesting, and I think this was recently, right? 1.00

00:39:25.000 A couple weeks ago.

00:39:26.000 And Jamie, there was an article, I think there was an article that people said was kind of like victim-blaming, where the New York Times ran it, where they were like, this family had a violent history.

00:39:33.000 Oh God, did they really say that?

00:39:35.000 Yeah, there was a New York Times article about this family, I'm remembering it now, where they were basically like, this family's had a long violent history, or their name has been synonymous with violence, which is an interesting article to write, you know, right after they were massacred.

00:39:48.000 Well, sometimes you read articles that are written, and you just, like, do you remember when Baghdadi died?

00:39:53.000 Yeah.

00:39:53.000 And they killed Baghdadi, and they said, there was, Washington Post called him an asture religious scholar.

00:39:59.000 That's hilarious. 1.00

00:40:00.000 You're like, he's the fucking head of ISIS. They threw gay people off the roof. 1.00

00:40:04.000 Right, right. 0.99

00:40:04.000 It's also weird, though, that we're... 0.99

00:40:06.000 I don't even...

00:40:07.000 When they're like, we killed Big Daddy, it's like, who's Big Daddy again?

00:40:10.000 Big Daddy.

00:40:11.000 Big Daddy?

00:40:12.000 Who's this?

00:40:14.000 What?

00:40:15.000 No one...

00:40:16.000 You know what it's like?

00:40:17.000 It's like if you're paying attention to Division II college school baseball players.

00:40:22.000 Yeah, I can't...

00:40:24.000 Pay attention.

00:40:25.000 There's so many.

00:40:25.000 We can't live in the psychic terror of ISIS forever.

00:40:29.000 Remember ISIS? They used to just release a lot of content online.

00:40:33.000 They would saw people's heads off with those rusty things.

00:40:35.000 It looked like they were doing it up the block in a warehouse in Studio City, to be quite honest.

00:40:40.000 I'm sure they were.

00:40:40.000 I'm sure that the CIA wasn't doing that.

00:40:43.000 It was a little weird.

00:40:44.000 These videos would drop and then everybody would be riveted and then they would just start beating the war drums again.

00:40:49.000 They'd be like, we've got to go to war.

00:40:51.000 Look at these people.

00:40:52.000 They're doing horrible things.

00:40:53.000 And then that hasn't happened in a while.

00:40:55.000 So we're not even thinking about ISIS. They trot ISIS out. 0.95

00:40:59.000 Yeah.

00:41:00.000 When they need, like, to invest us in something.

00:41:04.000 Well, there's not that many of them, realistically, anymore.

00:41:06.000 Yeah, there's...

00:41:07.000 I remember... 0.94

00:41:07.000 They're still plotting shit, but, you know, their numbers have been diminished pretty substantially. 0.94

00:41:11.000 Yeah, I think you've said it on this show, and I had a guy on my show, this guy, John Kiriakou, was a CIA guy who said, listen, we had decimated Al-Qaeda within a week or two of being in Afghanistan. 0.95

00:41:19.000 Yeah.

00:41:20.000 I wanted to bring this up with you, because this is a conspiracy that I just remembered while we were talking about this.

00:41:25.000 Okay.

00:41:25.000 Do you remember when there was a journalist that was murdered?

00:41:28.000 Daniel Pearl.

00:41:29.000 First guy to be beheaded. 0.93

00:41:30.000 Correct.

00:41:30.000 And the conspiracy theory was he was beheaded by someone who was other than, was it from Iraq that they were supposed to be?

00:41:40.000 I believe so.

00:41:41.000 Was it Taliban that supposedly did it to him or some other sect?

00:41:45.000 I'm trying to think.

00:41:45.000 I don't think it was Taliban.

00:41:46.000 I think he was in, Daniel Pearl I think was in Iraq, right?

00:41:50.000 Pakistan.

00:41:51.000 He was in Pakistan.

00:41:52.000 And he was, I guess it was Taliban or, you know.

00:41:56.000 But what the conspiracy theory was, they were paying attention to the size of the men who were behind him.

00:42:02.000 Yeah.

00:42:02.000 And they were like, this does not fit with our profile of Pakistani or Muslim men.

00:42:08.000 This looks like an American. 1.00

00:42:09.000 He looks like a big country-fed fucking American assassin. 1.00

00:42:13.000 Right. 1.00

00:42:14.000 And that they did this sort of as a false flag.

00:42:17.000 Right.

00:42:17.000 So it was just a guy that looked like Brendan Schaub standing behind Daniel Pearl.

00:42:21.000 Yeah, like you and Brendan Schaub back to back.

00:42:23.000 Yeah, just sawing off his head.

00:42:24.000 Yeah, they were like, the hands are too big.

00:42:25.000 Which we would both do.

00:42:26.000 I'm sure he would for a SAG card.

00:42:28.000 Yes, anything.

00:42:29.000 For anything.

00:42:30.000 For free dental.

00:42:31.000 Just free dental we would do it.

00:42:33.000 But they said the hands were too big, like the guys were too thick.

00:42:37.000 Well, I mean, remember all the photos of Bin Laden?

00:42:39.000 A lot of different photos of Bin Laden popped up and it was like nine different guys.

00:42:43.000 Yeah.

00:42:44.000 It really did look like it was like not...

00:42:47.000 The same person.

00:42:48.000 Nobody in the SEAL community has ever given me a straight answer whether or not they believe the official story.

00:42:55.000 Well, they all died, right?

00:42:56.000 SEAL Team 6?

00:42:57.000 No, no, no.

00:42:58.000 The guy who killed them has been on tour.

00:43:01.000 Didn't a lot of people in SEAL Team 6 die?

00:43:03.000 They died after that.

00:43:04.000 In a crash?

00:43:05.000 Yes, yes, yes.

00:43:06.000 I mean, it's odd.

00:43:08.000 What are you saying?

00:43:09.000 I don't know.

00:43:09.000 I mean, it's just strange.

00:43:10.000 Are you going tinfoil hat on me?

00:43:11.000 I'm just saying this.

00:43:13.000 Because you love tinfoil.

00:43:14.000 I mean, I think...

00:43:16.000 You're a fan.

00:43:18.000 I think right now, with what just happened with Epstein, people are...

00:43:22.000 You can't get away with this stuff anymore.

00:43:24.000 Well, what happened with Epstein, this is what I like about it.

00:43:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:28.000 It was so blatant and so outrageous that people go, hey, maybe they did fucking kill Kennedy. 0.99

00:43:34.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:43:34.000 Like, yeah. 0.99

00:43:35.000 They absolutely did.

00:43:36.000 And I was just doing shows in Fort Worth, and I was looking at these audiences, and I was going, they'd kill him again.

00:43:42.000 Yeah. 0.96

00:43:42.000 They'll kill him again. 0.96

00:43:43.000 Give these people a couple of shots of tequila. 1.00

00:43:45.000 Another shot goes right to Kennedy's head. 0.98

00:43:48.000 Well, if there was another one like Kennedy. 0.93

00:43:50.000 Let's think.

00:43:51.000 If someone took over after Trump, and this guy was trying to get rid of the NSA and get rid of the CIA, and then there was some sort of a- He was going to the mafia, industrialists. 0.98

00:44:02.000 And the mafia fucking got him into office in the first place. 0.98

00:44:04.000 100%. 1.00

00:44:05.000 They were like, hey, you fucking piece of shit. 1.00

00:44:07.000 We're the reason why you're here. 1.00

00:44:08.000 We rigged Chicago for you.

00:44:09.000 And so then he has this military blunder, the Bay of Pigs. 0.56

00:44:13.000 And so then the military's after him.

00:44:15.000 Everybody's hangry.

00:44:16.000 He says he wants to splinter the CIA into a thousand pieces and give all peacetime intelligence gathering capability to the military. 0.98

00:44:23.000 If we had someone like that, some guy like that, and by the way, he was fucking everything that moved, too. 0.97

00:44:29.000 Yeah, I mean, and he was doing drugs and everything. 0.98

00:44:32.000 He was enjoying himself.

00:44:34.000 It was on meth.

00:44:35.000 That's crazy.

00:44:35.000 They had a doctor, Dr. Feelgood.

00:44:37.000 That's where the name came from. 0.99

00:44:38.000 The fucking Motley Crue song? 0.99

00:44:39.000 Dr. Feelgood. 1.00

00:44:40.000 Dr. Feelgood.

00:44:41.000 And it was Kennedy's doctor?

00:44:43.000 Yes.

00:44:43.000 Wow.

00:44:44.000 Yes.

00:44:44.000 That's when being president was a great job.

00:44:46.000 Well, they all were on it. 0.99

00:44:47.000 That's how they fucking got the party moving. 0.99

00:44:49.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:50.000 Just meth heads.

00:44:51.000 It's busy, man.

00:44:52.000 You got things to do.

00:44:53.000 It's hard.

00:44:54.000 Yeah, it's true.

00:44:54.000 I mean, listen, this is the argument for Trump being on amphetamines right now.

00:44:58.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:44:58.000 How the fuck else are you going to run a country? 0.99

00:45:00.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:45:01.000 You have to be a little amped.

00:45:02.000 A little amped up.

00:45:03.000 He's definitely amped.

00:45:04.000 Is that a little piece of something?

00:45:05.000 But I like seeing him, you know, when he goes big.

00:45:09.000 What is it?

00:45:09.000 Sidebar, South Dakota today started a new campaign, anti-meth campaign, but it is onmeth.com, and meth, where on it is the slogan, that they spent over $450,000.

00:45:22.000 I mean, there's not anybody...

00:45:23.000 What?

00:45:24.000 They spent how much?

00:45:25.000 $450,000 of taxpayer money to figure this out.

00:45:27.000 Oh, my God.

00:45:28.000 This is why people hate the government, because nobody was able to stop this and say, hey, this is not the best... 1.00

00:45:33.000 This is the dumbest fucking ad campaign I've ever seen in my life. 1.00

00:45:36.000 Meth, we're on it? 1.00

00:45:37.000 That sounds like a fucking Onion article. 0.99

00:45:39.000 It's like a rap song or something. 1.00

00:45:40.000 It's a bad rap song.

00:45:42.000 Doesn't it seem like an Onion article?

00:45:44.000 I love what it says.

00:45:45.000 It goes, South Dakota has a problem.

00:45:46.000 There isn't a single solution because meth is widespread.

00:45:48.000 But we can approach it from different angles.

00:45:50.000 So it doesn't take over counties, towns, neighborhoods.

00:45:53.000 Let's work together.

00:45:55.000 Meth, we're on it.

00:45:56.000 God. 1.00

00:45:57.000 What's up with that fucking brown water? 1.00

00:45:59.000 Turn that back up. 1.00

00:46:00.000 Put that back on. 1.00

00:46:01.000 How about you fix that fucking toilet water you got your kids swimming around in? 1.00

00:46:05.000 Look at that water. 1.00

00:46:06.000 It's disgusting.

00:46:07.000 You've got more than one problem.

00:46:09.000 Yeah, meth is not even in the top ten problems in South Dakota.

00:46:12.000 Meth is what you need to get on to fix the other problems in South Dakota.

00:46:16.000 The whole town council's got some bad.

00:46:17.000 Yeah, you need to start cleaning.

00:46:19.000 But Epstein, they just charged guards.

00:46:21.000 I mean, this is hilarious.

00:46:23.000 Yes, yes, yes.

00:46:23.000 This is a very funny comic.

00:46:25.000 Nick Mullen on Twitter was like, oh yeah, this is the justice we all wanted.

00:46:28.000 The guards.

00:46:29.000 Well, no, here's what's good.

00:46:30.000 Two prison guards tasked with watching Jeffrey Epstein on night he killed himself.

00:46:35.000 True. 0.99

00:46:36.000 They should fucking charge with falsifying records. 0.99

00:46:39.000 And conspiracy. 0.99

00:46:40.000 And conspiracy.

00:46:41.000 Here's why that's good. 0.87

00:46:42.000 Somebody pay those guys, and they're going to sing, or they're going to die.

00:46:45.000 Something's going to happen.

00:46:47.000 Either they're going to take those guys...

00:46:48.000 I think it's a way to satiate the public.

00:46:50.000 I don't think there's...

00:46:52.000 I mean, I don't think that Barr, the Attorney General, has any real...

00:46:56.000 Desire to get to the bottom of what happened.

00:47:18.000 So if you don't want to open up that wound because it's never going to stop bleeding and guys like Barr who are – this is a guy that's participated in multiple cover-ups.

00:47:30.000 I don't think he has any really interest in – he's a lifelong government official.

00:47:35.000 You could say deep state.

00:47:37.000 You could say whatever it is, but he's just a career.

00:47:39.000 His job is to protect the interest of these power factions in Washington, these government officials.

00:47:45.000 There's no way they open this up, and there was no way that they could have had Jeffrey Epstein in open court, pointing fingers at maybe prime ministers and presidents.

00:47:54.000 It would tear countries apart.

00:47:56.000 It would be the biggest political scandal in our lifetime.

00:47:59.000 I just can't believe they just murked him like that, though.

00:48:01.000 They didn't just murk him.

00:48:02.000 They murked him twice.

00:48:03.000 Here's what I want to know.

00:48:04.000 When he tried to commit suicide the first time, were the cameras broken then, too?

00:48:09.000 Great question.

00:48:10.000 I don't know.

00:48:11.000 How come we never heard that?

00:48:12.000 Well, we didn't see any footage of him.

00:48:14.000 I've never seen any footage of him in his cell.

00:48:16.000 I mean, they haven't released any footage of the cameras ever working, right?

00:48:19.000 I mean, from what I can understand.

00:48:20.000 No, but did they even comment on it?

00:48:22.000 Remember the first time that he attempted to commit suicide?

00:48:25.000 I think they got it.

00:48:26.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:48:27.000 That's a good point.

00:48:28.000 I mean, I think they found him.

00:48:31.000 They transferred him.

00:48:32.000 I don't know if they have photographic evidence of him doing that.

00:48:36.000 Google what happened the first time Epstein tried to kill himself.

00:48:40.000 Because that's an interesting thing.

00:48:43.000 Yeah, it's a very interesting thing.

00:48:44.000 So do they know for sure?

00:48:45.000 Did they watch the footage and see him tying a rope around his neck?

00:48:49.000 And then they went in and go, next time you've got to do it like this.

00:48:52.000 You tie the knot stronger, you take off from the chair.

00:48:56.000 My favorite thing was the cellmate.

00:48:58.000 The cellmate that they gave him.

00:48:59.000 Oh yeah, which is like a long...

00:49:00.000 A gorilla.

00:49:01.000 A cop who...

00:49:02.000 A gorilla cop. 1.00

00:49:03.000 Yeah, from Westchester.

00:49:05.000 Huge.

00:49:05.000 Huge, skinhead-looking dude.

00:49:07.000 Italian guy. 0.62

00:49:08.000 Coked out. 1.00

00:49:09.000 Giant muscles who killed a bunch of fucking people and sold drugs. 1.00

00:49:13.000 Just him and Epstein. 1.00

00:49:15.000 And they got along.

00:49:16.000 He was like the Hollywood stereotype of the last guy you would want to be in a cell with.

00:49:25.000 Big Guido ex-corrupt cop with giant muscles.

00:49:28.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:49:30.000 This is monster.

00:49:31.000 And connected to the law.

00:49:32.000 I mean, it's just like, if that's the guy, I mean, that would be the guy, maybe he's the guy who killed him.

00:49:37.000 Who knows? 1.00

00:49:37.000 I mean, he's a giant fucking guy. 1.00

00:49:38.000 I mean, guys like that, I'm sure, would take a bribe pretty easily, and those guys don't open their mouths, you know? 1.00

00:49:43.000 Just for fucking cigarettes. 0.99

00:49:44.000 Yeah, why not? 1.00

00:49:45.000 Yeah.

00:49:46.000 I mean, he can't open his mouth.

00:49:47.000 He's in jail.

00:49:47.000 Right.

00:49:48.000 They got him locked up, and they go, look.

00:49:49.000 And who knows, listen, if they- Tommy, come on.

00:49:51.000 Right, Tommy, do this.

00:49:52.000 Tommy, you're here forever. 1.00

00:49:53.000 You like killing people. 0.98

00:49:54.000 I think they got to watch the- I don't know if they can do this, but they got to watch the bank accounts. 0.88

00:49:57.000 Now, obviously, the people that are paying off people are pretty smart.

00:50:00.000 Yeah.

00:50:00.000 There's ways to hide money, but somebody got paid off.

00:50:03.000 Substantial amount of money.

00:50:04.000 Yeah.

00:50:05.000 Somewhere, somewhere- They might not have.

00:50:08.000 You don't think so?

00:50:08.000 This is a weird one.

00:50:10.000 This one involves so many people.

00:50:13.000 Money might not have been passed around.

00:50:15.000 Right.

00:50:15.000 You know what I mean?

00:50:16.000 Somebody just might have called in favors for this and said, hey, just hide.

00:50:21.000 Yeah, where is Ghislaine Maxwell? 1.00

00:50:23.000 Oh, that bitch is in Brazil. 1.00

00:50:24.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:50:25.000 Somebody said she was in LA. Yeah.

00:50:26.000 She was in LA at an In-N-Out burger with a fucking book. 0.99

00:50:29.000 And they staged a photo. 1.00

00:50:31.000 About murdered CIA agents.

00:50:31.000 And they released a staged photo.

00:50:33.000 And I don't know what the fuck. 0.99

00:50:34.000 She was thinking like, oh, America will forgive me if they see I'm eating fast food. 0.99

00:50:38.000 I don't even understand.

00:50:39.000 No, no, no, no.

00:50:39.000 She was trying to release a message.

00:50:42.000 Oh, okay.

00:50:42.000 Yeah, she was reading a book about CIA agents that had been murdered.

00:50:47.000 Yeah, but what's the point of that message? 0.99

00:50:48.000 She's trying to say he's a fucking intelligence agent. 0.99

00:50:51.000 Right, yeah. 1.00

00:50:51.000 That was something that was actually said by... 1.00

00:50:54.000 Was it one of the attorney generals when they were prosecuting his initial...

00:50:58.000 Alexander Acosta said Epstein would belong to intelligence.

00:51:02.000 Well, if you just look at...

00:51:03.000 This has happened...

00:51:05.000 Yeah, there's the photo.

00:51:06.000 So, does it show the book?

00:51:08.000 There's another photo.

00:51:09.000 I think you can see the side of the book.

00:51:12.000 Okay.

00:51:13.000 But they also added in that movie poster.

00:51:15.000 That's right.

00:51:16.000 Somebody swapped out the movie poster.

00:51:18.000 They photoshopped. 1.00

00:51:19.000 They took advantage of this opportunity to promote a fucking film. 1.00

00:51:23.000 Wasn't it the Seth Rogen movie? 1.00

00:51:24.000 This is an interesting product placement in the background of a human trafficker having a sandwich.

00:51:29.000 At least she's got good taste in food. 0.56

00:51:32.000 She's got an old iPhone, so she's struggling a little bit financially.

00:51:37.000 It's very interesting.

00:51:39.000 Yeah.

00:51:40.000 She's not on the new iPhone.

00:51:41.000 That's a burner.

00:51:42.000 She's got a burner. 1.00

00:51:43.000 She probably had five different phones.

00:51:45.000 She probably drives them into a spirit. 1.00

00:51:46.000 I think it's hard for people to understand that elements of the CIA or the Mossad would condone the abuse of children to get leverage and information on people, but that's kind of what's happened before.

00:51:58.000 Yeah, I think they just figured, look, these 15, 16-year-olds, they're going to keep their mouths shut.

00:52:03.000 I mean, we're talking about when this happened.

00:52:05.000 This is all a long time ago, right?

00:52:07.000 It wasn't that long ago.

00:52:09.000 Like, how long ago did it start?

00:52:10.000 I mean, well, it's been going on probably for decades.

00:52:15.000 Right, but my point was when it initially got started, they probably didn't have the internet, right?

00:52:19.000 100%.

00:52:19.000 When did he start bringing people out to the island?

00:52:22.000 He got the island, I think, late 90s or early 2000. Yeah, so nobody really understood the concept of social media or where it was all going to go.

00:52:30.000 But what's really crazy is, like, no one's ever accounted for how that fucking guy got all that money.

00:52:35.000 Well, Les Wexner, who was the head of Victoria's Secret, was, like, his mentor, and they were buddies, and Wexner gave him... 0.97

00:52:42.000 And you know what's so funny about the mainstream press, you know?

00:52:44.000 The Wall Street Journal ran some article.

00:52:46.000 They're like, how could a guy like Les Wexner, who sold women's jeans forever...

00:52:51.000 I think?

00:53:15.000 But that's the way the press thinks.

00:53:17.000 They're like, this guy's the CEO of a multinational...

00:53:19.000 I mean, I'm sure he didn't do anything untoward.

00:53:23.000 Yeah.

00:53:24.000 I'm sure he's innocent.

00:53:25.000 Yeah.

00:53:26.000 The interview with the prince was fascinating.

00:53:29.000 Yeah.

00:53:29.000 Well, my favorite thing about that was, I think the prince is autistic or something, and the people on Twitter were like, don't make fun of him.

00:53:34.000 He's got something.

00:53:35.000 I think he is.

00:53:36.000 He's got something.

00:53:37.000 And the people on Twitter were like...

00:53:39.000 Hey, don't shame him for...

00:53:41.000 I'm like, okay.

00:53:43.000 Can we just...

00:53:44.000 How do you know when someone's autistic?

00:53:46.000 Like, there's a spectrum, right?

00:53:48.000 When is it on? 1.00

00:53:49.000 Like, when do you lick a fucking strip and go, oh, yeah, bro, you got it. 1.00

00:53:53.000 A lot of people now, for whatever reason, it's becoming more and more obvious. 1.00

00:53:58.000 More diagnosed.

00:53:59.000 It's more diagnosed.

00:54:00.000 I think you've even talked about it before.

00:54:02.000 People are not socializing with each other face to face as much.

00:54:07.000 So there's a lot of awkward people that maybe are on the spectrum and maybe aren't.

00:54:13.000 They're trying to ban clapping.

00:54:15.000 I saw that.

00:54:17.000 I saw that.

00:54:18.000 They wanted to do jazz hands.

00:54:20.000 Yeah, they wanted to do jazz hands.

00:54:20.000 Some people have a real problem with loud noises.

00:54:22.000 Yeah. 0.99

00:54:22.000 L-fucking-O-L. Prince Andrew forced a scrap visit to flood-stricken York as he's called into crisis talks at Buckingham Palace. 0.99

00:54:30.000 How sad.

00:54:32.000 Summoned for crisis talks.

00:54:34.000 Oh, right now?

00:54:35.000 Yeah, like it's happening right now.

00:54:36.000 Crisis talk. 0.99

00:54:38.000 They're gonna fucking hang him, too. 1.00

00:54:40.000 Some of his answers were so crazy. 0.99

00:54:42.000 Well, if my attorney advises, I will testify.

00:54:44.000 He's like, I don't know.

00:54:46.000 When a man has sex... 0.86

00:54:47.000 Like, he went into this whole thing that was just completely... 0.78

00:54:50.000 He's clearly...

00:54:51.000 He was clearly at a relationship with Epstein that wasn't good.

00:54:54.000 I think Epstein knew how to do it.

00:54:58.000 And so did Clinton.

00:54:59.000 So did a lot of these people.

00:55:01.000 Clinton flew with Epstein 26 times.

00:55:05.000 And I've been telling people, I haven't flown with my mom 26 times.

00:55:08.000 I haven't flown with anyone 26 times.

00:55:10.000 Maybe Jamie and I decided we maybe flew together 10 times.

00:55:14.000 And maybe Hinchcliffe and I have done 26 times.

00:55:17.000 Hinchcliffe and I have probably flown as many times.

00:55:19.000 You'll regret that when Tony gets outed for whatever he's doing?

00:55:22.000 Yeah.

00:55:23.000 I mean, Tony looks like a feudal lord that's disemboweling chambermaids.

00:55:28.000 So whenever they find the bodies in his yard, you will be answering for that.

00:55:33.000 They're going to find home video of Tony with Joker costume on.

00:55:36.000 Yeah, 100%.

00:55:37.000 100%.

00:55:38.000 100%.

00:55:38.000 He's got a Joker on his screensaver on his phone.

00:55:42.000 I love him.

00:55:43.000 I love how he's the nicest guy in the world, but he just has a look.

00:55:46.000 He's got a lot of mean in him.

00:55:47.000 He's a lot of mean.

00:55:49.000 Yeah.

00:55:49.000 You see it come out as comedy sometimes.

00:55:51.000 Every now and then there's a flash, you know, on Kill Tony, which is so much fun, sometimes I'll sit next to him and then you'll see like somebody, whether a comic, they might go over by, and you just see a flash go through Tony.

00:56:02.000 Anger.

00:56:03.000 Just a flash of anger.

00:56:04.000 And you're like, this is a real, this could be a real issue.

00:56:07.000 Yeah, you see the dungeon door cracks open just a little bit and you get to see the dragon back there.

00:56:12.000 Oh, absolutely.

00:56:13.000 Yeah.

00:56:14.000 You just go...

00:56:14.000 I'm like three times the size.

00:56:16.000 I'm terrified of it.

00:56:17.000 I'm just absolutely terrified of making any kind of enemy.

00:56:20.000 She's on Dr. Phil.

00:56:21.000 Who's this?

00:56:22.000 Dr. Phil found her two weeks ago.

00:56:24.000 No!

00:56:25.000 Oh, this is the girl?

00:56:27.000 Yeah.

00:56:27.000 Oh, man.

00:56:28.000 She's going to start dating Prince Andrew.

00:56:30.000 I should call up Dr. Phil and ask him if I can play this footage.

00:56:34.000 I'm sure Phil will be okay with it.

00:56:36.000 Well, hey.

00:56:36.000 I don't have a problem with it at all.

00:56:38.000 It's a little tiny person pretending to be a baby.

00:56:41.000 Yeah, Phil!

00:56:43.000 What did she say when he talked to her?

00:56:45.000 She said it's not true.

00:56:46.000 What did she say?

00:56:47.000 She's really a baby? 0.59

00:56:49.000 I want people to hear my side.

00:56:51.000 They say that you scam...

00:56:52.000 This is Phil talking.

00:56:53.000 They say you scammed them and she says it's not true at all.

00:56:56.000 Okay, but what did she say?

00:56:58.000 Scroll down a little bit.

00:56:59.000 What did she say here?

00:57:00.000 Natalia now lives with another Indiana couple and their five children.

00:57:03.000 LOL. The man's family, according to DailyMail.com, blah, blah, blah.

00:57:07.000 Ordained pastor.

00:57:08.000 Oh, they suckered him in with Jesus.

00:57:10.000 Were you at all concerned at the time that we could be putting the children in jeopardy?

00:57:16.000 McGraw asks the family.

00:57:18.000 We're supposed to help, the family says.

00:57:21.000 They just so happened to come across this person that was not being treated right and cared enough to put the effort to make sure that something was done about it, she said. 0.99

00:57:28.000 They're suckers. 0.99

00:57:28.000 They're going to get busted. 0.99

00:57:29.000 Yeah, I mean, these are people that deserve to be killed. 1.00

00:57:33.000 Hopefully she carves this family up. 0.99

00:57:36.000 I was like, is that the family?

00:57:38.000 I just looked at them quickly.

00:57:40.000 I'm like, is that the person that adopted her?

00:57:42.000 Dude, by the way, look at that picture.

00:57:44.000 Well, this is an L.A. agent that represents Greta Thunberg and all the crisis kids.

00:57:48.000 That's a great book.

00:57:49.000 Child activists.

00:57:50.000 I do hang around tragedies looking for kids who have it. 1.00

00:57:54.000 Greta, baby, you killed it at the fucking UN. You're an animal. 1.00

00:57:58.000 Why are you crying, honey? 0.98

00:57:59.000 Oh, okay, no.

00:58:01.000 Are there cameras on you?

00:58:02.000 Keep crying.

00:58:03.000 Throw yourself on the floor. 0.97

00:58:05.000 Throw yourself on the floor right now. 1.00

00:58:07.000 Malala left me for a competitor and you haven't heard her fucking name in two years. 1.00

00:58:11.000 Who's Malala? 1.00

00:58:11.000 She's a girl that got shot. 1.00

00:58:13.000 David Hobb won't take a fucking meeting. 1.00

00:58:15.000 I've sent 30 pairs of sneakers to his dorm. 1.00

00:58:18.000 Jesus Christ!

00:58:19.000 Tell Malala she's gotta come out as non-binary if she wants heat now. 1.00

00:58:22.000 That's the way it is. 0.99

00:58:24.000 Nobody gives a shit about landmines anymore. 0.99

00:58:26.000 It's all climate. 0.99

00:58:28.000 Climate is sexy.

00:58:29.000 Climate and guns.

00:58:31.000 Clean water? 0.99

00:58:32.000 That hasn't been hot since the fucking late 90s. 1.00

00:58:35.000 Do people even fucking drink water? 1.00

00:58:37.000 Wake the fuck up! 1.00

00:58:38.000 I got the Covington kids and Nathan Phillips on a reconciliation tour opening for Lizzo! 0.99

00:58:44.000 Who is it?

00:58:44.000 Emma Gonzalez?

00:58:46.000 Don't put her through. 1.00

00:58:47.000 She's fucked me for the last time. 1.00

00:58:49.000 I had her booked at Davos. 1.00

00:58:50.000 She got sick.

00:58:51.000 You get sick?

00:58:52.000 At Davos?

00:58:54.000 We got a new version of the Pole Brothers from Syria. 1.00

00:58:57.000 They're fucking hilarious. 0.99

00:58:58.000 They do pranks. 0.99

00:58:59.000 One of them's missing an arm and they have fun with that.

00:59:01.000 It's great.

00:59:02.000 We got a kid with a cleft lip, but he's cute.

00:59:05.000 I want hog at Madison Square Garden.

00:59:07.000 People are turning in their guns and crying to him.

00:59:10.000 They're handing their guns over to him and they're crying.

00:59:13.000 Yeah, this is just Jason.

00:59:14.000 I got a call for David.

00:59:16.000 Yeah, just let him know that I called.

00:59:17.000 We actually sent some stuff in the mail over if he could take a look at it.

00:59:20.000 Just a few sneakers and...

00:59:22.000 Okay, sure.

00:59:23.000 Yeah. 0.65

00:59:25.000 We got a kid, right now, he has no limbs, he is fucking hilarious, and he does a whole bit about the refugee crisis. 0.97

00:59:37.000 You have no idea how hard this kid is going to hit when he hits. 0.97

00:59:42.000 Do you understand?

00:59:43.000 No limbs. 0.99

00:59:44.000 We walk him out, we put him in a seat, and he just fucking goes, man. 0.99

00:59:49.000 He just goes. 0.99

00:59:50.000 These kids will own you one day. 0.98

00:59:52.000 I will make sure of it. 1.00

00:59:54.000 They will fucking own you! 0.99

00:59:56.000 I got a three-year-old from Iceland in Gunnar. 1.00

00:59:58.000 He loves economics.

01:00:00.000 He's talking about debt peonage.

01:00:01.000 I got him at the World Bank in three weeks. 1.00

01:00:03.000 Fuck you! 1.00

01:00:04.000 So, I mean, eventually YouTube's going to go, we're not participating in this. 1.00

01:00:08.000 Are you worried about that?

01:00:09.000 I think I am a little bit.

01:00:10.000 Gavin McGinnis is still on YouTube.

01:00:12.000 I know.

01:00:13.000 That's true.

01:00:13.000 Well, that's why I want to be...

01:00:15.000 That's your canary in the coal mine. 1.00

01:00:16.000 Yeah, that's a bit...

01:00:18.000 I left on Molyneux.

01:00:19.000 He's still on.

01:00:20.000 I appreciate this.

01:00:21.000 Thank you.

01:00:21.000 Yeah, no, I mean, listen, I like Gavin.

01:00:24.000 Gavin's a nice guy.

01:00:25.000 But the reality is, I think that YouTube seems like they're done with small creators.

01:00:31.000 My channel is pretty small, Tim Dillon Show.

01:00:33.000 It's not a huge channel.

01:00:34.000 Let's make it bigger.

01:00:35.000 Let's make it bigger.

01:00:35.000 Tim Dillon Show on YouTube.

01:00:38.000 Please subscribe.

01:00:39.000 Yeah, so that when they get rid of it in a month, I can at least get mad about something.

01:00:44.000 Send positive comments only.

01:00:45.000 Yes.

01:00:46.000 Even if they're sarcastic.

01:00:47.000 Yeah.

01:00:50.000 Somehow the positive comments will be worse.

01:00:52.000 You look great.

01:00:53.000 Yeah.

01:00:54.000 You don't look fat at all.

01:00:55.000 I mean, so we do these videos.

01:00:57.000 They're a lot of fun.

01:00:58.000 And, you know, we can't do them on network TV. They're not going to allow us to do it.

01:01:02.000 No way.

01:01:03.000 No chance.

01:01:03.000 It's not going to happen.

01:01:04.000 Yeah.

01:01:04.000 Well, what is he at now?

01:01:05.000 18,000 subscribers?

01:01:06.000 Yeah, 18,000 subscribers. 0.98

01:01:07.000 Let's see what we can get that bitch up to by the end of the... 1.00

01:01:08.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:01:09.000 Well, thank you.

01:01:10.000 I appreciate it.

01:01:10.000 My pleasure.

01:01:11.000 I thought I would be able to do this stuff on TV. What?

01:01:14.000 Yeah.

01:01:15.000 That's not going to happen.

01:01:16.000 No, but it's better this way.

01:01:17.000 You don't want anybody telling you what to do.

01:01:19.000 Right.

01:01:19.000 You can't.

01:01:20.000 Your style of comedy, that Meghan McCain thing, is fucking hilarious, and there's no way. 1.00

01:01:25.000 Holy fuck, daddy! 1.00

01:01:26.000 Yeah, they're not gonna let me do that. 1.00

01:01:27.000 There's not a chance in hell.

01:01:29.000 I played that on this podcast at least four times.

01:01:31.000 You've played it for, like, doctors.

01:01:33.000 You've played it for, like, people that Nobel laureates...

01:01:36.000 They're, like, making a point.

01:01:37.000 You're like, you've seen Tim Dillon do Meghan McCain?

01:01:39.000 People are like, what?

01:01:40.000 People are like, I have five Pulitzer Prizes. 1.00

01:01:42.000 You're like, take a look at this fat guy yelling at his wanting to fuck his dad. 1.00

01:01:45.000 I wish we could convince Meghan to just, like, just unblock you. 1.00

01:01:50.000 I thought it would be funny, because I'm headlining Caroline's in March in New York, and I thought it would be funny to shoot a promo where I show up dressed as her and just sit in the audience of The View.

01:01:59.000 I thought that would be funny, but I've been advised legally that that might not be the best course of action. 0.59

01:02:03.000 Yeah, Whoopi Goldberg will stab you.

01:02:05.000 Yes, but that's a great promo. 0.98

01:02:07.000 Whoopi Goldberg stabbing me as Meghan McCain and then just Tim Dillon. 0.69

01:02:11.000 Yeah, she'll probably stab you a couple times before she gets tired. 1.00

01:02:13.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:02:14.000 You know, what I would think would be amazing is you in the dressing room, the makeup chair, getting turned into Meghan McCain, and Meghan McCain walks in and beats the fuck out of you. 1.00

01:02:26.000 That would be great. 0.98

01:02:27.000 Is she down for you?

01:02:28.000 Is she cool?

01:02:29.000 This is how they tortured my dad in Vietnam, and she gets you in an armbar. 0.97

01:02:33.000 Listen, the only person that could make that happen is you.

01:02:35.000 I don't think so.

01:02:36.000 I don't think I could.

01:02:37.000 I think you're the only guy.

01:02:38.000 I think you've got to get Tommy Lauren on the phone.

01:02:40.000 I know.

01:02:41.000 That's actually another point.

01:02:42.000 What else are the fembots? 0.97

01:02:46.000 How many?

01:02:46.000 I don't know.

01:02:47.000 I don't know too many of them.

01:02:48.000 But, I mean, Megan is... 0.53

01:02:50.000 Here's the thing about Megan. 0.93

01:02:52.000 I do respect how much she is always willing to be, you know, like, annoying. 0.89

01:03:00.000 Did you see the thing with her in Donald Trump Jr.?

01:03:05.000 Yeah.

01:03:05.000 That was heavy.

01:03:07.000 Like, him going on The View was heavy.

01:03:08.000 It's like, wow, why? 1.00

01:03:10.000 And all these idiots are like, fire hurts. 1.00

01:03:11.000 Like, you can't! 1.00

01:03:12.000 That's the show!

01:03:13.000 The show is drama!

01:03:14.000 Well, listen, the only way it's any good is if they're...

01:03:17.000 Do you want to hear their real opinions about stuff?

01:03:19.000 No, I want Rosie O'Donnell back talking about... 1.00

01:03:22.000 9-11!

01:03:23.000 Well, if you want to get back at Trump, you hire Rosie again.

01:03:26.000 Yes!

01:03:27.000 That's a great idea. 0.99

01:03:28.000 Because Rosie and Trump fucking hate each other. 1.00

01:03:29.000 They hate each other. 1.00

01:03:29.000 They fucking hate each other. 1.00

01:03:30.000 I mean, he would go on TV and call her a loser. 1.00

01:03:32.000 Yeah.

01:03:33.000 When I grew up, that was a feud.

01:03:35.000 Yes.

01:03:36.000 As I was growing up, that was a feud.

01:03:37.000 It was Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump. 0.99

01:03:39.000 When he did it on Twitter, like right after he won, he was talking shit about Rosie. 0.99

01:03:43.000 Well, it was a big thing with Megyn Kelly. 1.00

01:03:45.000 She was like, you've called women pigs, this, that, and the other thing. 1.00

01:03:47.000 And he goes, only Rosie O'Donnell. 0.94

01:03:49.000 Yes!

01:03:50.000 Only Rosie O'Donnell. 0.90

01:03:51.000 And it got a huge pop.

01:03:52.000 Of course.

01:03:53.000 A huge pop. 0.99

01:03:54.000 Yeah, look, he's fucking funny. 0.99

01:03:55.000 He knows how to be funny. 0.98

01:03:56.000 What is Megyn Kelly going to do?

01:03:58.000 What's her comeback?

01:03:59.000 Well, she wants to do a podcast, and they actually contacted me about her coming on here.

01:04:05.000 Interesting.

01:04:05.000 She wants to do...

01:04:06.000 I mean, look, she definitely could do a podcast. 1.00

01:04:09.000 Her comments about blackface were... 0.99

01:04:10.000 I get that they were tone-deaf, but when you watch it in context...

01:04:14.000 It's weird that she lost her job.

01:04:16.000 They were trying to get rid of her.

01:04:17.000 For the way she said it.

01:04:18.000 It's a good question.

01:04:20.000 She's like, why can't you pretend to be someone who you admire like Diana Ross?

01:04:26.000 It's not a bad question.

01:04:27.000 The problem is you can say that on a podcast.

01:04:29.000 I just did.

01:04:30.000 Why can't you?

01:04:31.000 You can't get fired from a podcast.

01:04:34.000 Right.

01:04:34.000 But what she didn't understand is how they were going to use that to attack her.

01:04:39.000 And then she has this fucking apology video. 1.00

01:04:41.000 It looks like there's ISIS guys behind her with a fucking sword to her neck. 1.00

01:04:44.000 It was crazy. 1.00

01:04:46.000 It was a goddamn hostage video. 1.00

01:04:48.000 I saw her though. 0.99

01:04:48.000 I'm sorry. 0.99

01:04:49.000 The week she was...

01:04:50.000 I did not know.

01:04:51.000 The week she was leaving Fox, again, I was in there doing Red Eye.

01:04:55.000 I saw her.

01:04:57.000 She knew she was kind of doing the wrong thing.

01:04:59.000 She was sitting in the makeup chair.

01:05:01.000 She just had this weird energy.

01:05:02.000 You can't go from Fox to then being America's sweetheart on NBC in the morning.

01:05:07.000 And she didn't pull it off, but she did make $60 million.

01:05:11.000 It's a lot of money. 1.00

01:05:12.000 She could tell everyone to eat her ass for the end of time. 1.00

01:05:17.000 You have $60 million. 1.00

01:05:19.000 You don't have to do shit ever again for the rest of your life. 0.99

01:05:22.000 It's true. 0.97

01:05:23.000 Her kids are safe.

01:05:24.000 She's safe.

01:05:25.000 They're all set up.

01:05:25.000 They're set.

01:05:26.000 I would tell her to do it, too.

01:05:28.000 Fox is not going to give her that kind of money. 1.00

01:05:30.000 That's fucking money, money, money, money, money. 1.00

01:05:32.000 It's big money. 0.99

01:05:33.000 But it's not as much money as Bill O'Reilly paid out gals. 0.52

01:05:37.000 Well, yeah.

01:05:38.000 How much did he think he paid out gals? 0.84

01:05:39.000 He paid that woman, Lease Wheel, $32 million, I believe.

01:05:43.000 Check that, Jamie.

01:05:44.000 You just swam that wrong.

01:05:45.000 And this is weird for me because my Long Island grandfather had the Patriots welcome Bill O'Reilly mat every Thanksgiving.

01:05:52.000 You would step right on it.

01:05:53.000 And you would sit down and Bill O'Reilly's voice was bellowing through the house.

01:05:58.000 Oh, yeah.

01:05:58.000 Because this is my grandparents who I love to death.

01:06:01.000 They love Fox and they love Bill O'Reilly because Bill was a traditionalist.

01:06:05.000 Yeah, for old white people. 0.97

01:06:07.000 Even with the $32 million settlement, Bill O'Reilly made millions last year.

01:06:10.000 He's doing well.

01:06:12.000 What do you think he did?

01:06:14.000 What is this?

01:06:15.000 More than two years old?

01:06:16.000 $32 million.

01:06:17.000 You have to be guilty, right?

01:06:19.000 You did something.

01:06:20.000 And it's dark. 1.00

01:06:21.000 Like a hairbrush up your ass. 1.00

01:06:23.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:06:24.000 Piss in my mouth. 1.00

01:06:25.000 She's got photos and videos of him doing crazy shit. 1.00

01:06:30.000 Or threatening her. 1.00

01:06:32.000 Didn't he get caught leaving crazy messages on some gal's voicemail?

01:06:35.000 Yeah, he said, I'm going to loo for you.

01:06:37.000 Before that one, that was his sixth settlement for $32 million.

01:06:39.000 He had five previous that totaled $13 million, so he's $45 million in the hole for that.

01:06:44.000 Six.

01:06:44.000 Separate instance.

01:06:45.000 You know, he's a traditionalist.

01:06:46.000 He's a traditionalist.

01:06:47.000 He's a traditionalist.

01:06:48.000 This is a traditionalist.

01:06:50.000 Listen, it's only half a hundred million.

01:06:52.000 It's fifty million dollars because you made a few boo-boos.

01:06:55.000 You made a few mistakes at work.

01:06:57.000 All these people don't understand that a man needs to get some things off his chest.

01:07:02.000 Well, I think there's also...

01:07:04.000 There was the environment that these guys...

01:07:22.000 We're good to go.

01:07:37.000 Well, the other thing is, you've got to remember, guys like Bill O'Reilly and Matt Lauer, they rose through the ranks to the heads of their...

01:07:42.000 I mean, it's a certain type of person that gets there.

01:07:45.000 The details were already known.

01:07:47.000 What is new information, though, is that her agreement demanded she turn over all evidence which she conversed with O'Reilly, and furthermore, to act like such evidence never existed.

01:07:55.000 Her settlement also required that she lie, even in legal proceedings or under oath, if any evidence becomes public by calling the evidence counterfeits or forgeries.

01:08:05.000 Yeah.

01:08:06.000 Sounds like Bill's got a good attorney. 0.98

01:08:08.000 Yeah, Bill's attorney's not fucking around. 1.00

01:08:10.000 Bill's attorney's got a fucking knife in his teeth like Rambo. 1.00

01:08:13.000 Bill sits down with the ladies and goes, you're going to never work again, but you're also never going to talk again. 1.00

01:08:17.000 You're going to keep your mouth shut.

01:08:18.000 You don't need to work, baby. 0.98

01:08:19.000 You don't need to work, yeah.

01:08:20.000 Daddy Bill's going to take care of everything.

01:08:21.000 $32 million.

01:08:22.000 Ooh, that's a good sum to have in the bank.

01:08:24.000 $32 million.

01:08:25.000 Let me just check my account real quick on my phone.

01:08:27.000 Ooh, look at that.

01:08:28.000 Look at all the zeros.

01:08:29.000 That's crazy.

01:08:30.000 There's a $32 million.

01:08:31.000 And then after that, 32. Well, holy shit. 0.99

01:08:34.000 Look at all them fucking zeros. 1.00

01:08:35.000 And he's also like, listen, you're alive. 1.00

01:08:36.000 He didn't kill you.

01:08:37.000 You're making 32 million.

01:08:39.000 All right, so you were scared to go home for a little bit.

01:08:41.000 32. Zero, zero, zero.

01:08:43.000 My favorite thing about Bill O'Reilly, he tried to get the Catholic Church to excommunicate his ex-wife.

01:08:48.000 Yes, he's like, I'm not getting divorced. 1.00

01:08:50.000 Fuck her. 1.00

01:08:51.000 That is the best thing. 1.00

01:08:52.000 He tried to send his ex-wife to hell. 0.99

01:08:54.000 Ha ha ha! 0.98

01:08:55.000 That is big.

01:08:56.000 And by the way, mother of his kids.

01:08:58.000 Yes. 0.99

01:08:58.000 Like, let's say he got it done in his worldview, in the Catholic worldview, she's going to hell. 0.99

01:09:02.000 So he would have to sit down with his kids and go, now you know your mother's going to hell. 1.00

01:09:06.000 And I made that happen.

01:09:08.000 Didn't he also try to get the marriage annulled so he didn't have to get divorced?

01:09:12.000 I think so, but I remember that he was like, if we can't annul it, just doom her to hell. 0.96

01:09:17.000 Just excommunicate her and let the woman that gave me children just live on the lake of fire forever. 1.00

01:09:24.000 Well, here's the real question. 0.99

01:09:25.000 A freak like that doesn't just...

01:09:27.000 I mean, he was a freak deep into his 60s. 0.71

01:09:29.000 And he's still a freak now. 0.76

01:09:30.000 Yes. 0.99

01:09:31.000 He's still a freak.

01:09:31.000 People don't change.

01:09:32.000 So what's he doing?

01:09:33.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:09:33.000 I don't know.

01:09:34.000 What's he doing?

01:09:34.000 I think now there's a lot of NDAs, which there should have been back then.

01:09:38.000 Whatever.

01:09:39.000 They could break those. 0.99

01:09:40.000 How did he not get caught up in Fuck Island? 0.99

01:09:43.000 Oh, because... 0.99

01:09:43.000 I don't know. 0.99

01:09:45.000 He's a traditionalist. 0.97

01:09:46.000 He probably likes some dirty over 30s. 1.00

01:09:47.000 He's a Long Island guy. 1.00

01:09:49.000 He likes an old woman he can beat. 1.00

01:09:51.000 He doesn't...

01:09:53.000 He doesn't want a young chick on an island. 1.00

01:09:55.000 He wants a woman who's terrified, whose life's been horrible.

01:09:59.000 Look at this.

01:09:59.000 Horowitz to testify.

01:10:00.000 He's got his own website.

01:10:01.000 Impeachment hearings.

01:10:02.000 Oh, BillOReilly.com.

01:10:04.000 I think it has massive traffic, too.

01:10:06.000 I think it does really well. 0.99

01:10:08.000 Didn't we find this out, that his videos have fucking hundreds of millions of views or something ridiculous like that? 0.88

01:10:13.000 It's on his own site, so it would be really hard to know. 0.88

01:10:15.000 But doesn't he have some things on YouTube or something like that?

01:10:19.000 I saw him once in a clam bar.

01:10:20.000 This is where I'm going to have to go eventually.

01:10:23.000 I'm going to have to go to JoeRogan.com and just have videos up.

01:10:26.000 Otherwise, as things grow, you're still under the umbrella of these companies.

01:10:31.000 I don't say anything so outrageous other than this episode where I could get yanked off the air.

01:10:36.000 I'm blaming you.

01:10:36.000 But it's worth it.

01:10:37.000 Oh yeah, I guarantee there's going to be a problem later and I'm going to text Jamie and be like, why are you guys not on YouTube? 0.99

01:10:42.000 He goes, because you're a dumb video that no one watched. 1.00

01:10:45.000 You fucking lied about Giselle Matchwell or whatever the fuck it is. 1.00

01:10:48.000 I think, but the problem is, YouTube comes with its own built-in audience, right? 1.00

01:10:55.000 There's a bunch of people that are already subscribing on YouTube.

01:10:57.000 I mean, we have millions of subscribers.

01:11:00.000 What would we tell those people?

01:11:01.000 Hey, I know you.

01:11:02.000 Come over here.

01:11:03.000 Come over here.

01:11:04.000 I think they'll all go.

01:11:05.000 Eh, I don't know about that.

01:11:06.000 I just don't know what the future for...

01:11:08.000 Because there's guys that are like David Dobrik, huge YouTubers that are making all this money, and then a lot of them have talked about their ad revenue has been cut substantially.

01:11:15.000 Oh, yeah.

01:11:16.000 Well, a lot of them are starting podcasts.

01:11:18.000 Like, Logan Paul started a podcast.

01:11:20.000 A lot of these guys are going, oh, the ad money is going to move into podcasts.

01:11:24.000 Well, podcasting is a little cleaner in that if you have an audience, it's just an RSS feed and it gets aggregated through iTunes and through the Android apps and all these different apps.

01:11:33.000 Do you think right now, supposedly, and I don't know, you would know more about this than me, that there's something that is transcribing podcasts?

01:11:39.000 There's a way that they're going to transcribe podcasts that are going forward and ones that have already happened?

01:11:47.000 And is that potentially a way...

01:11:50.000 Do you think anyone's going to eventually have to have a license, a podcasting license?

01:11:54.000 Do you think this will not be the Wild West anymore?

01:11:58.000 Are they going to come in and try to regulate this to any degree, would you think?

01:12:03.000 I think the cat's out of the bag.

01:12:05.000 I think the box is open.

01:12:07.000 I just don't think you can at this point in time.

01:12:09.000 But I think the clamps, the way you put the clamps down is demonetization.

01:12:13.000 They've done that.

01:12:14.000 You know, they've done that with a lot of people.

01:12:16.000 They've demonetized them off of YouTube.

01:12:19.000 They've cut out their Patreon.

01:12:22.000 They've cut out PayPal.

01:12:23.000 They've done all these different things to keep them from being able to make money.

01:12:26.000 Which is a comic.

01:12:27.000 Even if I disagree with somebody, even if I think what they're saying is abhorrent...

01:12:30.000 As long as they're not harassing or threatening or doxing people, I'm never somebody who says they shouldn't be allowed to have a platform.

01:12:38.000 I agree.

01:12:39.000 Also, the problem is what you're doing by demonetizing someone that's saying something that's very popular.

01:12:46.000 Say if you have a channel and your channel has half a million subscribers and you're not doing anything...

01:12:53.000 Particularly egregious.

01:12:53.000 You're not calling for the death of people.

01:12:55.000 Right. 0.96

01:12:56.000 And even if you are, it's goofy. 0.86

01:12:58.000 Right.

01:12:58.000 You're not overtly racist.

01:12:59.000 But if they demonetize you, what it also does, it sends a signal to people that are also like that, that maybe haven't stepped out that far yet to like, oh, rain it back a little bit.

01:13:11.000 Right.

01:13:11.000 So you self-censor.

01:13:12.000 You pull it back.

01:13:13.000 It was a quote. 0.99

01:13:13.000 It's like, kill one man, scare a thousand. 0.99

01:13:16.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:13:16.000 I mean, that's what you do. 0.99

01:13:18.000 I mean, that is what you do.

01:13:19.000 Yeah.

01:13:19.000 I mean, that's...

01:13:20.000 Why do you think they put Wesley Snipes in jail for tax evasion?

01:13:24.000 Just to prove to everyone else...

01:13:26.000 Let everybody know. 1.00

01:13:26.000 Hey, you fuck. 1.00

01:13:27.000 You're going to jail. 1.00

01:13:27.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:13:28.000 Lauren Hill, same thing. 0.88

01:13:28.000 Go to jail. 0.88

01:13:29.000 You're going to jail jail.

01:13:30.000 Right.

01:13:31.000 Like regular jail.

01:13:31.000 Like regular people jail.

01:13:33.000 Yeah.

01:13:33.000 It doesn't matter if you feel like paying the money back.

01:13:35.000 Oh, I didn't know.

01:13:36.000 My accountant lied to me.

01:13:36.000 Doesn't care.

01:13:37.000 Get the fuck in the jail. 1.00

01:13:38.000 They're sending a message. 1.00

01:13:39.000 Yeah, they're sending a message.

01:13:40.000 So do you think, I think after December 12th, YouTube's going to be able to, if your channel's not commercially viable, they'll be able to just get rid of it if they want.

01:13:47.000 That's a way for them to stop something in its tracks.

01:13:51.000 Okay.

01:13:51.000 That's what I think.

01:13:52.000 So say if some new guy comes along.

01:13:54.000 Like you. 1.00

01:13:54.000 You come along, spitting fire, talking shit, and everybody's getting fired up. 1.00

01:13:58.000 And oh my god, look what he said about Meghan McCain. 1.00

01:14:00.000 And Meghan McCain calls up YouTube. 1.00

01:14:02.000 Listen, we're going to take the view, and we're going to pull it off of YouTube if you don't get rid of that fucking fat fuck that's impersonating me. 1.00

01:14:09.000 Sometimes I wonder if the shadow banning and stuff is because I just made Gary Vaynerchuk mad. 0.99

01:14:15.000 And I'm like, I made a joke about him.

01:14:17.000 Do you think he's powerful enough to just go to all these companies and be like...

01:14:21.000 Maybe.

01:14:22.000 I don't know.

01:14:22.000 I don't think he would do that.

01:14:24.000 I'm kidding, Gary.

01:14:24.000 I love you.

01:14:26.000 I'm inspired by you every day.

01:14:27.000 It's all a bit.

01:14:28.000 It's a bit.

01:14:29.000 It's all a joke.

01:14:30.000 I think it's great.

01:14:30.000 What happened with him?

01:14:32.000 Well, I have a joke about him.

01:14:34.000 I made a little video about him because some of the things he tweets, he tweets like kindness is delicious.

01:14:39.000 Come on.

01:14:39.000 What are we doing?

01:14:40.000 He puts out a little too much content.

01:14:43.000 But it's also like all my loser friends think they're going to be the CEOs of companies because this guy is telling them there's a business inside of everyone.

01:14:51.000 And there's not. 0.77

01:14:52.000 There's just not a business inside of everybody.

01:14:54.000 There's a lot of people that just shouldn't be like, you know, that should just fall in line.

01:15:00.000 Fall in line.

01:15:01.000 We don't need everyone thinking that they're going to be the next CEO. Right, but he's got to send the message out there as if everyone can be.

01:15:09.000 That way the people that are listening and get it, the people that get it, they're like, okay, he's saying everyone can, that means me, I'm going to go for it, and then they make it.

01:15:19.000 And I appreciate him doing that, but I need to send the message that most people can't.

01:15:23.000 A lot of people can't.

01:15:23.000 So in the same way that he has a message, I have a message, and my message is, it's not going to happen, and he has the...

01:15:30.000 But it's also, there's no specific guidance with a lot of these guys, not only him, but he'll say things like, you could talk about it, or you could do it, but you better do both.

01:15:40.000 And it's like, well, what's the it? 0.99

01:15:42.000 Like he tweeted once, he goes, ideas are shit, it's all about execution. 0.99

01:15:45.000 It's like... 1.00

01:15:46.000 Execute what?

01:15:47.000 What are we gonna do?

01:15:48.000 I need help.

01:15:50.000 My kids are sick. 0.77

01:15:51.000 Execute what? 0.94

01:15:52.000 Can you text me?

01:15:53.000 Do I meet you somewhere?

01:15:54.000 How do we start this?

01:15:56.000 How do we build these businesses?

01:15:57.000 Are we gonna do it together?

01:15:59.000 Why do you think he got mad?

01:16:00.000 He got mad?

01:16:01.000 I'm kidding.

01:16:02.000 I don't know if he's mad or not.

01:16:03.000 I wonder if a guy like that has a sense of humor.

01:16:04.000 I'm a comedian.

01:16:05.000 Did something you get pulled that you did?

01:16:07.000 The Gary Vee thing, they took it off YouTube.

01:16:09.000 No.

01:16:10.000 I mean, they took it off Instagram, IG. No.

01:16:13.000 And then he walked into a room with a bunch of guys in little hoodies, and he was like, get this fatty, and they did. 0.93

01:16:18.000 And I'm not mad at that, because I respect power.

01:16:22.000 I respect power, Gary.

01:16:23.000 I get it.

01:16:24.000 I'm just saying I'm a funny guy.

01:16:26.000 Me and you will do a podcast, Gary.

01:16:28.000 It's fine.

01:16:30.000 I respect him.

01:16:31.000 I respect him.

01:16:32.000 He's a smart guy, right?

01:16:33.000 He's smart.

01:16:34.000 I wonder how many successful people need that.

01:16:37.000 Does Warren Buffett look at his phone and go, it's time to hustle?

01:16:40.000 I don't know.

01:16:41.000 How did he get a parody of you removed from Instagram?

01:16:43.000 Probably didn't.

01:16:44.000 I'm just a conspiracy guy.

01:16:45.000 Is it on YouTube still?

01:16:46.000 Yeah.

01:16:47.000 Let's play it.

01:16:48.000 Where is it?

01:16:49.000 It's probably on YouTube.

01:16:50.000 I want to hear what you said.

01:16:51.000 And I want to see what was the trigger.

01:16:53.000 Well, I also waved a knife around.

01:16:56.000 There's stuff that I shouldn't have done. 0.82

01:16:58.000 I talked about assassinating the president.

01:17:01.000 It wasn't...

01:17:02.000 But my whole point was that when you give people very general and vague...

01:17:07.000 I need to see this now.

01:17:08.000 I need to smoke this joint.

01:17:09.000 General and vague advice.

01:17:10.000 What sometimes happens is that, you know...

01:17:16.000 You know, people can, like David Hogg tweeted the other day, he goes, it's the hardest days in our lives that makes us who we are.

01:17:23.000 So then I subtweeted it and I wrote, okay, so no gun control.

01:17:26.000 Right? 0.99

01:17:28.000 I mean, and my point there is not to say anything shitty about Hogg, but to say, listen, if you're just going to tweet vague, meaningless horse shit all day, like, that's all that kid does, David Hogg will wake up and he goes, racism is bad. 0.98

01:17:41.000 And it gets 42,000 likes. 1.00

01:17:42.000 It's like, cut this shit out. 1.00

01:17:44.000 Well, isn't he like 17? 1.00

01:17:46.000 He's a child.

01:17:46.000 We gotta stop listening to children.

01:17:48.000 Yeah, well that was Louie's joke.

01:17:49.000 Yes!

01:17:50.000 About Parkland survivors.

01:17:51.000 He's back.

01:17:51.000 I'm thrilled he's back.

01:17:52.000 He's killing it. 1.00

01:17:53.000 I'm fucking... 1.00

01:17:53.000 My friend saw a show the other night. 1.00

01:17:55.000 He's like, it's the best hour.

01:17:56.000 It's amazing.

01:17:56.000 I heard he murdered it.

01:17:57.000 A guy did a review of him.

01:18:00.000 Guy did a review of him.

01:18:01.000 He said, I have a very complicated relationship with Louis C.K. I think what he did was horrible.

01:18:06.000 I was a fan of his.

01:18:07.000 I was greatly disappointed. 0.99

01:18:08.000 But then I saw his new set and it was fucking amazing. 0.98

01:18:10.000 Yeah. 0.98

01:18:11.000 Yes.

01:18:11.000 No one even knows what he did.

01:18:12.000 He's like, I think what he did was horrible.

01:18:13.000 It's like, describe what he did.

01:18:14.000 The guy's like, ah, well, you know.

01:18:16.000 Did you see that girl that... 1.00

01:18:18.000 Well, hold on a second.

01:18:19.000 Oh, here.

01:18:19.000 I found it.

01:18:20.000 You found it.

01:18:20.000 Okay, play this.

01:18:21.000 It's on Twitter, by the way.

01:18:22.000 Oh, it's on Twitter.

01:18:22.000 Hey, by the way, stop.

01:18:24.000 Pause it for a second.

01:18:25.000 Shout out to Twitter.

01:18:27.000 Shout out to Twitter.

01:18:28.000 Thank you, Twitter.

01:18:28.000 They let it fly.

01:18:29.000 Because Twitter let Meghan McCain fly. 1.00

01:18:31.000 They let it all fly.

01:18:32.000 Twitter lets everything fly. 1.00

01:18:33.000 You can take it in the ass. 1.00

01:18:34.000 On Twitter, they have porn. 1.00

01:18:36.000 It's an adult site. 0.67

01:18:37.000 This is for adults.

01:18:39.000 I just love that they do that.

01:18:41.000 They kept the Meghan McCain thing up, whereas YouTube or Instagram took it down, right?

01:18:45.000 Instagram...

01:18:46.000 You got two things taken down.

01:18:48.000 Two strikes, buddy.

01:18:49.000 That's why I'm not...

01:18:50.000 I barely put the videos on Instagram anymore because I don't want to lose my account.

01:18:54.000 Good call.

01:18:54.000 Let's hear this.

01:18:55.000 I learned the most important word ever.

01:18:57.000 Stop crying and just keep hustling.

01:19:01.000 Guys, we're building businesses here.

01:19:04.000 Where do I meet you, man? 0.99

01:19:05.000 Let's fucking do it. 0.99

01:19:07.000 And so you can say it or you can do it, but I highly recommend you do both. 0.99

01:19:13.000 I'll do it.

01:19:14.000 I'll say it and I'll do it.

01:19:15.000 I used to work in a liquor store for seven straight years and the only days off I took were to watch the New York Jets.

01:19:21.000 And you know what that did?

01:19:22.000 It made me throw up on myself, so that wasn't a vacation.

01:19:28.000 My son is sick. 1.00

01:19:30.000 Nobody gives a fuck about your problems. 1.00

01:19:32.000 Fuck yeah! 1.00

01:19:33.000 Hustle is the most important word ever! 1.00

01:19:35.000 What about the word jug?

01:19:38.000 Recognize that you can attack the world in a totally different way.

01:19:41.000 Oh! 1.00

01:19:43.000 I should kill the president! 1.00

01:19:47.000 This is the issue. 1.00

01:19:51.000 I don't think Gary Vee got it.

01:19:53.000 It's funny. 1.00

01:19:53.000 It's stupid. 1.00

01:19:54.000 We're being stupid. 1.00

01:19:55.000 We made this at like 3am. 1.00

01:19:57.000 Come on, it's fucking hilarious. 0.99

01:19:59.000 You're a comedian. 0.99

01:20:00.000 We just gotta have a little fun.

01:20:02.000 Gary, we love you.

01:20:03.000 We love you, Gary.

01:20:05.000 Congratulations on all your success.

01:20:06.000 Open invite on my show anytime you want to come.

01:20:08.000 He's been on mine.

01:20:09.000 I'm sure he's more hyped about going on yours than mine.

01:20:12.000 He sent me a pair of his sneakers, but they were too small.

01:20:14.000 What size are you wearing?

01:20:15.000 13. A fan of his sent me a pair of his sneakers, and actually they're K-Swiss sneakers that he's put his name on, but they're nice and comfortable.

01:20:25.000 Yeah, he sent me like 10 and a half, so my feet are all fucked up in them. 0.72

01:20:28.000 Yeah. 0.95

01:20:29.000 Did you see that?

01:20:30.000 Are you guys talking about Megan McKellie?

01:20:32.000 She has a YouTube channel now, I don't know if you know that.

01:20:34.000 Megan McKellie?

01:20:35.000 Megan McKellie, yeah.

01:20:36.000 Megan McKellie, it's just a hyper...

01:20:38.000 Her first video she launched was talking to the girl that was fired from CBS for putting out that ABC clip, and she said she was falsely fired.

01:20:49.000 Yeah, she said she didn't even do it. 0.97

01:20:50.000 And then the guy, Project Veritas guy, said it wasn't her either.

01:20:54.000 Right.

01:20:54.000 Yeah, so she got fired for nothing.

01:20:56.000 Right.

01:20:57.000 But was she the one who captured it, though?

01:21:00.000 She did, but in her defense, she said that was her job.

01:21:03.000 Her job was to capture things, mark them internally, for in case anybody wanted to use it for anything in the future.

01:21:09.000 Yeah, she got thrown to the wolves.

01:21:10.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:21:11.000 And also, she said for blooper reels.

01:21:14.000 Yeah, it could have been for anything.

01:21:15.000 There's lots of things they mark stuff for.

01:21:16.000 They do that when you do a sitcom.

01:21:17.000 You know, they do the blooper reel where every time you fuck up your line, like, we still love those for news radio.

01:21:22.000 We should play them at the end of the season at the wrap party.

01:21:25.000 We play the blooper reel.

01:21:26.000 That's probably what they were doing.

01:21:28.000 The thing is about those new shows, there's no season.

01:21:31.000 It just keeps going, baby.

01:21:33.000 It just keeps going and going.

01:21:34.000 And I was listening to the thing you did with Matt and Taibbi, and he was like, yeah, they just want access to people.

01:21:40.000 They just want to interview Will and Kate.

01:21:42.000 They're like, we're not going to get too sticky in this.

01:21:44.000 No.

01:21:45.000 You know?

01:21:45.000 Yeah, they want access.

01:21:47.000 And that's what they don't want to throw away by some crazy...

01:21:50.000 And they depend on people in the government to get access.

01:21:53.000 And if you're a pariah and you're on the outside, you don't get the White House press pass.

01:21:58.000 See, the thing about this Epstein thing is it's like such an open door...

01:22:02.000 Conspiracies.

01:22:03.000 Oh, it's an open door into a lot of powerful people having to account for themselves, and that's not in their plan.

01:22:08.000 I think that's part of what's happening to YouTube, where they're like, we don't like the idea that somebody like Alex Jones can start a channel and have more views than the nightly news.

01:22:15.000 That means we're losing power and we're losing control.

01:22:18.000 And I think that somewhere, whether it was in Davos or whatever, Bilderberg Conference, there was a room full of people that were like, we gotta rein technology in a little bit.

01:22:26.000 You don't think that there's some thought to that?

01:22:29.000 Well, there certainly is.

01:22:30.000 There certainly is.

01:22:31.000 These guys are uncomfortable.

01:22:33.000 Well, I mean, especially people that have already done things that are illegal or immoral, unethical, and there's some sort of evidence of them.

01:22:42.000 Right.

01:22:43.000 But this guy was like the cream of the crop, right?

01:22:45.000 But what he was was like the...

01:22:47.000 If you're a conspiracy theorist looking for something really crazy, this is a best case scenario because it has everything.

01:22:52.000 It has powerful people, it has underage girls, it has all the equations. 0.99

01:22:56.000 It has illegal sexual activity with underage girls on an island that he flies you to that has a fucking temple that's painted the color of the Israeli flag. 1.00

01:23:04.000 Yeah, there's a lot of... 1.00

01:23:05.000 But also...

01:23:07.000 It's unfolding in real time. 0.99

01:23:09.000 Yeah, but it's also like it's an island that people called Fuck Island? 0.99

01:23:13.000 Really? 1.00

01:23:13.000 Yeah, Pedophile Island, Kid Fuck Island, whatever it is. 1.00

01:23:16.000 This is like a James Bond movie. 0.99

01:23:18.000 It's absolutely.

01:23:19.000 It's like a weird Tom Clancy novel about...

01:23:22.000 But this guy clearly was allowed to get away with this.

01:23:25.000 The first deal he got was a sweetheart deal.

01:23:28.000 He was allowed to go home...

01:23:31.000 During the day, this was a guy that was convicted of having sex, molesting a 14-year-old.

01:23:37.000 What they convicted him of, I think, had to do with a massage parlor?

01:23:43.000 Well, something.

01:23:43.000 It was a 14-year-old girl, and then he was allowed...

01:23:46.000 One of the things, the provisions, was to not name any co-conspirators.

01:23:51.000 So that first deal was like he was not going to have to...

01:23:54.000 Now, that wasn't going to work like that this time.

01:23:57.000 They were going to be like, you're now going to sin.

01:23:59.000 Right.

01:24:00.000 And nobody was letting that happen.

01:24:01.000 What do you think they're doing with the guards?

01:24:03.000 Do you think they're putting pressure on the guards and going, hey, you've got to fill us in the blanks.

01:24:09.000 One of the guards said no to a plea bargain.

01:24:12.000 Which I thought was very interesting.

01:24:14.000 That's very interesting too.

01:24:15.000 I don't know.

01:24:15.000 It doesn't seem – I would have to have faith that – I think there's elements in the FBI and there's probably elements in the government that want to get to the bottom of this.

01:24:22.000 But they're going up against a wall of people that don't want to get to the bottom of this.

01:24:25.000 We're talking billionaires.

01:24:26.000 We're talking about people that run countries.

01:24:28.000 We're talking about ex-presidents.

01:24:30.000 We're talking about potentially intelligence agencies.

01:24:32.000 And they're going to just hit that wall.

01:24:34.000 Yeah.

01:24:34.000 I like the old ones better with no consequences.

01:24:37.000 Like the Kennedy assassination.

01:24:39.000 Well, because it was all over.

01:24:40.000 Yeah, it's done.

01:24:40.000 It's all over.

01:24:41.000 It's just we're looking back.

01:24:41.000 This is playing out right now.

01:24:43.000 It's unfolding in real time.

01:24:44.000 It's crazy.

01:24:45.000 I remember when I woke up and he was killed.

01:24:47.000 So many people had messaged me.

01:24:49.000 They were like, this is kind of what you said was going to happen. 0.99

01:24:53.000 And it fucking happened. 0.99

01:24:55.000 This is the craziest thing ever. 1.00

01:24:58.000 President's chief says FBI looking at possible criminal enterprise in Epstein's death.

01:25:03.000 Yeah, okay.

01:25:05.000 Wow.

01:25:07.000 What does that mean?

01:25:08.000 What does that mean?

01:25:09.000 What does that mean?

01:25:10.000 These guys are very good at what they do.

01:25:11.000 If this was Mossad, or if it was CIA, or even if it was billionaires that contracted this out, too, I mean, these people are very good at what they do.

01:25:19.000 Did you ever read the book The Strange Death of Vince Foster?

01:25:24.000 No.

01:25:24.000 Do you know about that book?

01:25:25.000 No.

01:25:26.000 Vince Foster was a guy who...

01:25:27.000 Well, I know that.

01:25:28.000 I know that he shot himself, what, in the head twice or something?

01:25:31.000 No, no.

01:25:31.000 Something.

01:25:32.000 Before he was about to testify in white water?

01:25:34.000 Yeah.

01:25:34.000 He was about to testify.

01:25:35.000 He shot himself.

01:25:37.000 The gun was still in his hand.

01:25:39.000 There was less body at the scene of the crime than was missing from his body.

01:25:44.000 They think his body was potentially moved.

01:25:46.000 These are all the conspiracies that I read.

01:25:47.000 I don't know how much of his actual factual.

01:25:49.000 But it was one of the first ones that I remember reading.

01:25:52.000 Well, there was one about...

01:25:53.000 It was very interesting, and that's very interesting, but there was this...

01:25:55.000 After Oklahoma City, there was a cop named Terrence Yeeke, and he started to investigate what had happened because he just wasn't...

01:26:01.000 He didn't think it was just one guy.

01:26:03.000 He didn't think it was just McVeigh.

01:26:05.000 And this guy, Terrence Yeeke, ended up, like, again, shooting himself in the head and then crawling a mile and climbing a fence because he wanted to die somewhere more private.

01:26:13.000 That was, like, the official story.

01:26:15.000 So, Michael Hastings...

01:26:17.000 Journalist in LA. Ended up going, you know, right by a really good restaurant, Austria Moza.

01:26:22.000 Said to his wife and kids, hey, to his wife, he was like, listen, I've gone off the grid.

01:26:27.000 I'm working on a big story. 0.99

01:26:28.000 I think people are fucking around with my car. 0.94

01:26:30.000 A day later or two days later, his car accelerates into a tree right in the middle of Hollywood. 0.96

01:26:36.000 So things are happening.

01:26:38.000 You know, not just that.

01:26:39.000 Yeah.

01:26:40.000 The engine.

01:26:42.000 It flew out.

01:26:43.000 It flew out of the car, which is never supposed to happen.

01:26:46.000 It's an indication of some sort of explosion, the conspiracy is.

01:26:50.000 And if any of that, think of any of those stories, if any of them had happened in Russia...

01:26:54.000 If any of them had happened in another country, what would all of the journalists in America be saying?

01:26:59.000 Do you know the Hastings origin story?

01:27:01.000 Do you know what happened?

01:27:01.000 I don't know the origin story.

01:27:02.000 It's the story.

01:27:03.000 He went to the Middle East, and he was embedded.

01:27:06.000 He was only supposed to be there for a short period of time, but then the volcano happened.

01:27:09.000 Okay.

01:27:10.000 Remember that volcano that blew and they couldn't fly?

01:27:12.000 Right, so then he stayed with the journal.

01:27:14.000 Right, with McChrystal?

01:27:16.000 Yeah.

01:27:17.000 Or Petraeus?

01:27:19.000 McChrystal, Stanley McChrystal, yeah. 1.00

01:27:21.000 And he heard them say a lot of shit that he wasn't supposed to hear. 0.99

01:27:25.000 They joked around about a lot of things. 0.99

01:27:27.000 And he put that in the story.

01:27:28.000 They got comfortable with him. 1.00

01:27:29.000 They thought he wouldn't fuck them. 1.00

01:27:31.000 And he fucked them. 1.00

01:27:32.000 They treated him the same way they treat everybody. 1.00

01:27:35.000 They tell jokes.

01:27:35.000 They joked around about Obama.

01:27:37.000 Right.

01:27:38.000 And he wrote the Runaway General. 1.00

01:27:39.000 Hey man, they're fucking blowing off steam in a goddamn war zone. 1.00

01:27:43.000 The Runaway General, the profile that brought down McChrystal. 1.00

01:27:47.000 So this is, he's the guy that wrote it.

01:27:50.000 And McChrystal, Michael Hastings, McChrystal was, like, beloved.

01:27:54.000 Beloved by the troops, and he had to step down.

01:27:57.000 So when he had to step down, that's when people were saying, oh, well, that's probably why they killed him.

01:28:03.000 Yeah, it's very possible.

01:28:05.000 I mean, you make those kind of enemies, like we talked about Kennedy, it's like you make...

01:28:08.000 That's the thing with conspiracy theorists.

01:28:10.000 They think everything's just five guys in a room.

01:28:12.000 It's not.

01:28:13.000 There's a lot of powerful people with a lot of money and resources that can make your life very hard.

01:28:17.000 They can tar you in the press.

01:28:19.000 They can slander you.

01:28:20.000 And that guy clearly...

01:28:21.000 Or they can get rid of you. 1.00

01:28:22.000 I mean, Hastings clearly fucked that guy over. 1.00

01:28:24.000 He fucked that guy over? 0.99

01:28:26.000 I mean, well... 1.00

01:28:26.000 And he just said, I'm just going to go for it. 1.00

01:28:27.000 This is what I do as a journalist.

01:28:28.000 Hastings probably was like, listen, this is what I do as a journalist.

01:28:30.000 There's people dying.

01:28:31.000 This is a war.

01:28:31.000 And I'm going to do what I feel I have to do.

01:28:33.000 But it's also like those people are over there in the most duress-filled situations on earth.

01:28:40.000 Yes.

01:28:40.000 And I think it's so weird that we look at that from times of peace, or from the land of peace, the environment of peace, and even comprehend, like, just jokes.

01:28:51.000 They just said jokes?

01:28:52.000 Of course.

01:28:52.000 Yeah, 100%.

01:28:53.000 I mean, what did he, I don't remember what he said that was so awful.

01:28:56.000 I forget what he said, but I knew it made Obama... 0.86

01:28:58.000 Because Obama's still the commander-in-chief.

01:29:00.000 So the idea that you have a very big general openly mocking the commander-in-chief in Rolling Stone magazine is probably not a good look.

01:29:09.000 And then you got it just because of the way...

01:29:13.000 That things work.

01:29:14.000 He's gotta go.

01:29:15.000 Will you Google it, Jamie?

01:29:15.000 Google what did McChrystal say about Obama that got him fired?

01:29:19.000 Trump just pardoned somebody, and I forget.

01:29:21.000 He was a controversial military guy.

01:29:23.000 He was a SEAL that was accused of taking a photograph with a dead body.

01:29:28.000 That was it?

01:29:29.000 What Trump did, he didn't pardon him.

01:29:32.000 He gave him his rank back.

01:29:34.000 Okay.

01:29:35.000 So his rank was stripped, and that would have cost him a lot of money and benefits.

01:29:40.000 Yeah.

01:29:40.000 And Trump reinstated his military status.

01:29:45.000 Okay.

01:29:45.000 Yeah.

01:29:46.000 Yeah.

01:29:47.000 It's a very...

01:29:48.000 I know there was a lot of opinions.

01:29:49.000 Very public story.

01:29:50.000 It was a very, very controversial story.

01:29:53.000 The whole thing was.

01:29:55.000 I get that things happen in wartime that we, you know, sitting here in a cushy environment in Los Angeles, like, couldn't possibly understand.

01:30:03.000 But I do think, you know, you can't just let the chaos of it become its own law.

01:30:10.000 Right.

01:30:10.000 Because then it kind of defeats the purpose of whatever the hell we're trying to do.

01:30:14.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:30:15.000 Yeah, for sure.

01:30:16.000 For sure.

01:30:17.000 It says, Obama angry after reading McChrystal's remarks.

01:30:22.000 I wonder what they were.

01:30:23.000 Yeah, I'm sure it does.

01:30:24.000 I found a couple in the actual article.

01:30:26.000 It said he looked intimidated in front of brass or something like that.

01:30:29.000 That Obama did?

01:30:30.000 Yeah.

01:30:31.000 Oh, that's what they were saying?

01:30:31.000 First thing that it was said.

01:30:33.000 Yeah, this is what you said.

01:30:34.000 Uncomfortable and intimidated.

01:30:35.000 This is what you would talk about with your friends if you had a couple of drinks.

01:30:38.000 McChrystal thought Obama looked uncomfortable and intimidated by room-filled military brass.

01:30:42.000 Their first one-on-one meeting took place at the Oval Office four months later after McChrystal got the Afghanistan job.

01:30:48.000 Didn't do much better.

01:30:49.000 It was a 10-minute photo op, says an advisor to McChrystal.

01:30:51.000 Obama clearly didn't know anything about him, who he was. 0.98

01:30:54.000 Here's the guy who's gonna run his fucking war, but he didn't seem very engaged. 0.98

01:30:58.000 The boss was pretty disappointed. 0.99

01:31:00.000 Now, let me defend this for a second. 0.99

01:31:04.000 If I was Obama, I would be intimidated as fuck. 0.99

01:31:08.000 Of course. 1.00

01:31:09.000 You just became president and you're going in around these generals who are like the baddest military motherfuckers on earth in the middle of a real war where they have to kill bad guys. 0.99

01:31:19.000 And this is what you're relying on to kill these bad guys who could be very, very dangerous. 0.99

01:31:22.000 I know Obama had no experience with that. 0.93

01:31:24.000 You're gonna be intimidated.

01:31:26.000 Of course.

01:31:26.000 Now, here's the other thing.

01:31:27.000 He wasn't engaged.

01:31:29.000 This has always been my take on it.

01:31:31.000 About being a president. 0.97

01:31:33.000 There's no fucking way you could be on top of everything. 0.98

01:31:36.000 Can't. 0.98

01:31:36.000 There's no way. 0.98

01:31:37.000 I don't think we even comprehend all the different things you have to be paying attention to if you're gonna be the fucking president. 0.99

01:31:47.000 Right. 0.99

01:31:49.000 Right. 0.98

01:32:07.000 Didn't know how to assert himself, and he probably, even though it didn't work out so well, I mean, what the fuck do you tell a guy like McChrystal who's running this war? 0.98

01:32:15.000 If you're Obama, do you fire him? 0.98

01:32:17.000 He probably doesn't know.

01:32:19.000 Interesting, so you don't get rid of him.

01:32:20.000 No!

01:32:21.000 Really?

01:32:21.000 No!

01:32:22.000 But you're the president!

01:32:23.000 He's right!

01:32:24.000 The guy's right!

01:32:25.000 Right, I know. 0.99

01:32:25.000 He was fucking intimidated. 0.99

01:32:28.000 I know. 0.98

01:32:28.000 You bring the guy in, you give him respect, you have a conversation with him, and you say, look, I'm not a perfect person. 0.98

01:32:34.000 If I handle that incorrectly, I'm just learning how to be the fucking president of the United States. 0.99

01:32:38.000 It's a crazy gig. 0.99

01:32:40.000 I mean, he's only in his 40s.

01:32:41.000 Right, right. 0.80

01:32:42.000 I mean, as amazing as he is, as intelligent as he is, as well-read and articulate as he is, he's still fucking kind of young to be running the greatest army the world's ever known. 0.79

01:32:52.000 Of course. 0.82

01:32:52.000 Everybody is. 0.82

01:32:53.000 Nobody's qualified for that job.

01:32:55.000 Nobody's qualified, yeah.

01:32:55.000 It's too crazy.

01:32:56.000 It's crazy.

01:32:57.000 I would have brought the guy in.

01:32:58.000 I would have brought him in. 1.00

01:32:59.000 Let's have a fucking drink. 1.00

01:33:00.000 Let's have a meal. 1.00

01:33:01.000 Let's have a summit.

01:33:02.000 Yeah, look, if I've disrespected you, if you felt bad, I'm sorry. 0.76

01:33:05.000 And then you kill Michael Hastings together.

01:33:07.000 Together. 1.00

01:33:07.000 Until Obama brings him a crystal in and go, let's kill him together. 1.00

01:33:10.000 If that's it, if that's it, Jesus Christ, imagine that getting you whacked. 0.99

01:33:14.000 Well, I mean, less than that will get you whacked.

01:33:16.000 I know, but that seems to me like men could have worked that out.

01:33:20.000 They should have.

01:33:21.000 I mean, yeah, I seem like it. 1.00

01:33:22.000 I mean, I'm never going to be the fucking president. 0.98

01:33:24.000 I have no desire to be a mayor of anything. 0.99

01:33:26.000 Are you going to moderate a debate?

01:33:27.000 Never.

01:33:27.000 Because that's online.

01:33:28.000 People want it, Joe.

01:33:29.000 No, I'm tired.

01:33:29.000 I'm just tired.

01:33:30.000 Joe, people want it.

01:33:31.000 I'm moving away from all this stuff.

01:33:32.000 You're not leaving LA. I'm moving away from more.

01:33:33.000 I'm moving away from more.

01:33:34.000 But...

01:33:35.000 One thing I would try to do in a situation like that is set an example of how I want my neighbors to act.

01:33:41.000 I don't want my neighbors to fucking cancel each other if one guy says the other guy looked intimidated about something to his wife and you hear about it.

01:33:47.000 Part of that is because you're a fighter and you came up with that conflict resolution and then you have, you know, isn't that, do you think part of that's martial arts, the way you look at situations or no? 0.96

01:33:55.000 I mean, maybe, but it's also a sense of camaraderie.

01:33:58.000 I think people can work out a lot more problems than they think they can.

01:34:00.000 That's probably true.

01:34:01.000 And it's a better plan for everybody. 0.93

01:34:05.000 Most people will fucking engage you angry if you engage them angry. 0.94

01:34:09.000 But most people, if you go, come on, man, I'm not looking for any trouble. 0.98

01:34:13.000 And they know you're sincere.

01:34:14.000 You're like, this is how I felt.

01:34:17.000 Maybe you felt different.

01:34:18.000 Maybe this is how you felt.

01:34:19.000 But let me tell you how I meant, what I meant, what I said. 0.93

01:34:22.000 And I fucked up the way I said it, or I did this, or maybe I should have been more sensitive. 0.89

01:34:26.000 Let's work it out. 0.99

01:34:27.000 Yeah.

01:34:27.000 Let's work it out as people.

01:34:28.000 It's becoming harder to do that with technology. 0.99

01:34:30.000 But when you got the president who fires the fucking number one general. 0.96

01:34:33.000 He's like, you know, you said something about me being intimidated. 1.00

01:34:36.000 Get the fuck out of the fucking... 1.00

01:34:38.000 Right. 1.00

01:34:38.000 You can't, man. 1.00

01:34:39.000 You can't, yeah.

01:34:39.000 What else did he say?

01:34:40.000 Did he say something else? 0.98

01:34:41.000 Oh, in person, in private, Team McChrystal likes to talk shit about many of Obama's top people on the diplomatic side. 0.98

01:34:48.000 180 calls Jim Jones, a retired four-star general, veteran of the Cold War, a clown who remains stuck in 1985. But listen, this is what guys do. 0.97

01:34:57.000 Here's the thing.

01:34:57.000 You're asking this guy.

01:34:59.000 You're asking this guy to be a fucking assassin for freedom, right? 1.00

01:35:03.000 That's what he's doing. 1.00

01:35:05.000 He's out there murking bad guys in other parts of the world. 0.99

01:35:09.000 You send him over there, and then you want him to follow the same human resource codes that a guy who was the fucking manager... 0.98

01:35:16.000 Works at J.P. Morgan or something does. 1.00

01:35:19.000 Or not even, like fucking... 0.99

01:35:19.000 Geico. 0.99

01:35:20.000 Anything.

01:35:21.000 Yeah, Geico.

01:35:22.000 Yeah, perfect example.

01:35:23.000 You're asking...

01:35:24.000 Of course the guy's on edge.

01:35:26.000 Right. 1.00

01:35:27.000 Fucking missiles are flying over his head. 1.00

01:35:29.000 Yeah, he's a professional killer. 1.00

01:35:30.000 His friends are getting killed. 1.00

01:35:31.000 Right, yeah.

01:35:31.000 He's got to make the decisions that will send thousands of men potentially to their death.

01:35:36.000 Of course, yeah.

01:35:37.000 Of course he's on edge.

01:35:38.000 Yeah. 0.92

01:35:38.000 He calls someone a clown. 0.92

01:35:39.000 It's amazing that's all he does. 0.85

01:35:41.000 Right, that's true. 1.00

01:35:42.000 It's amazing he doesn't find the people he hates and cuts their fucking heads off. 1.00

01:35:45.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:35:46.000 Okay, that's what he's doing.

01:35:47.000 You're turning him into a warrior, right?

01:35:49.000 Yeah.

01:35:50.000 He's a warrior.

01:35:50.000 He's a professional soldier.

01:35:52.000 You're sending him to these insane places of conflict, and you're upset if he calls somebody a clown? 1.00

01:35:58.000 Yeah, that's stupid. 1.00

01:35:59.000 It's insane! 1.00

01:36:00.000 Yeah.

01:36:01.000 Men should be able to work things like that out. 0.86

01:36:02.000 I know, but this is, you know, they don't.

01:36:04.000 They should be able to work things out.

01:36:05.000 People hold grudges for a long time and then those grudges become, you know, policy and... 0.95

01:36:10.000 That's so ridiculous. 0.96

01:36:11.000 It's crazy. 1.00

01:36:11.000 To be a man, you have to be a clown. 1.00

01:36:13.000 Every now and then you fuck up. 1.00

01:36:14.000 Absolutely. 1.00

01:36:15.000 That's just part of being a man.

01:36:16.000 There's this illusion of the invulnerable person, the person that never makes mistakes and it's always perfect.

01:36:22.000 Do you think Obama thought to himself, if I don't do this, I will look weak?

01:36:26.000 Sure, sure.

01:36:26.000 Yeah, I'm sure.

01:36:27.000 I'm just trying to, I don't know.

01:36:28.000 I don't know.

01:36:29.000 I could never imagine.

01:36:30.000 I can never imagine that gig. 0.98

01:36:32.000 That gig is fucking impossible for any human. 0.98

01:36:35.000 It's a very good chance I will not be the president. 0.99

01:36:38.000 I mean, look at Obama. 0.98

01:36:39.000 I mean, like, a fucking Harvard graduate, brilliant guy, lawyer, super articulate, as polished as they ever get. 0.99

01:36:47.000 Smart. 0.99

01:36:47.000 Even he can't do it right. 0.99

01:36:48.000 Nobody can do it right.

01:36:50.000 It's not designed to be done right.

01:36:51.000 You can't do it, man.

01:36:52.000 Yeah.

01:36:53.000 You can't do it if you're Trump.

01:36:54.000 You can't do it if you're Obama.

01:36:55.000 It's the end stage of the empire.

01:36:56.000 It's basically we're just trying to land the plane or we're trying to sustain.

01:37:02.000 Everyone knows.

01:37:03.000 There's too many things coming that no president and no political solution will help.

01:37:10.000 Right.

01:37:11.000 And that's AI and automation.

01:37:12.000 Yeah.

01:37:14.000 I love Andrew Yang, but I don't know what his rallies, he's on a skateboard all the time.

01:37:17.000 He's like, we have a lot of fun at our rallies.

01:37:19.000 It's like, but the whole point of your campaign is in five years, 40% of us are going to be fighting for water.

01:37:24.000 And then he's skateboarding around his rallies.

01:37:27.000 He's got to dance that dance of making people like him.

01:37:30.000 That's the thing about running for president.

01:37:31.000 He's a very, very nice guy.

01:37:32.000 And he's a smart guy and he gets what's happening.

01:37:35.000 He scared me.

01:37:35.000 Yeah.

01:37:36.000 When he started talking about automation taking over jobs and about universal basic income, people going to need it to stay alive and survive.

01:37:43.000 I'm like, whoa. 0.97

01:37:44.000 Maybe this guy's like the fucking, you know, the beginning of the Terminator where someone's warning you. 0.99

01:37:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:37:48.000 Well, we'll kill him. 1.00

01:37:50.000 Andrew Yang's going into a tree next week if he keeps this up. 0.99

01:37:53.000 He won't be because no one's in charge of the machine.

01:37:56.000 That's what's nuts.

01:37:57.000 With this machine of AI, once it goes live, I'm so scared of it.

01:38:03.000 I really think that we are...

01:38:06.000 We're the last human era.

01:38:07.000 Do you think we're at the end of the human era?

01:38:09.000 This is the path that I see.

01:38:11.000 This is what freaks me out.

01:38:12.000 I see technology.

01:38:14.000 Technology is innovating on this accelerated pace.

01:38:17.000 Super accelerated.

01:38:18.000 And it started out very rudimentary.

01:38:21.000 It started out when we were really complicated.

01:38:24.000 So we were really complicated, and it was like flint tools. 0.60

01:38:27.000 And then it went from flint tools to a bow and arrow with a flint on the end of it, to a fucking canoe, to a house, to a this, to a that, to electricity and solar panels.

01:38:35.000 And it just kept getting better and better and better and better at an insane accelerated rate. 0.99

01:38:40.000 But we look like the same people that made the fucking arrowhead. 0.99

01:38:44.000 Right, right. 0.99

01:38:45.000 We didn't evolve that kid.

01:38:46.000 We may be devolving.

01:38:48.000 We're going the other way.

01:38:49.000 I'm sure we're evolving in terms of intelligence.

01:38:51.000 We certainly have more access to intelligence or to information than anybody's ever had ever.

01:38:56.000 And it's hard to tell exactly what gets passed down from parent to child.

01:39:02.000 But I think it's pretty likely that some data gets passed down and not just from interacting with the parents while you're growing up.

01:39:09.000 I think you get some that maybe you don't know what it is.

01:39:14.000 Maybe you don't recognize it.

01:39:15.000 But there's some memories in your head or some basic...

01:39:18.000 Understanding of what's bad and good.

01:39:20.000 Absolutely. 1.00

01:39:20.000 And I think that's why some people are afraid of spiders, because it's some shit that's in their DNA. They know. 1.00

01:39:25.000 They have a particular fear of something, because somewhere in their memory, someone's DNA had, I got bit by a spider.

01:39:32.000 Right.

01:39:32.000 Interesting.

01:39:33.000 It was like an imprint.

01:39:34.000 Yeah. 0.99

01:39:35.000 And I think we are just slow as fuck, like every other thing on this planet. 1.00

01:39:40.000 When you see an eagle a thousand years ago, it looks like a fucking eagle. 1.00

01:39:44.000 It's going to look like a fucking eagle a thousand years from now. 1.00

01:39:46.000 Right. 1.00

01:39:46.000 They got the design down. 1.00

01:39:47.000 That's it.

01:39:47.000 It swoops in, it gets the salmon, it's all it needs to do.

01:39:50.000 It's great.

01:39:51.000 It's got it down. 0.99

01:39:51.000 But we can't keep up with this fucking thing we made. 0.99

01:39:55.000 So this thing we made is going to take over. 0.99

01:39:57.000 Why don't we slow it down?

01:39:58.000 Why don't we legislate it and say, why do we have to be victims of this?

01:40:02.000 We can stop it.

01:40:03.000 We can shut it down, right?

01:40:04.000 It's a good question.

01:40:05.000 I just don't think anybody would ever do it.

01:40:07.000 Because I think everybody is profiting.

01:40:09.000 I mean, there's so many countries that are profiting off it.

01:40:11.000 So many businesses that are profiting off it.

01:40:12.000 So many people like you and me that use it.

01:40:15.000 All the time.

01:40:16.000 The conveniences of having a nice cell phone.

01:40:16.000 I mean, as comedians now, a lot of our lives and careers are at the mercy of algorithms.

01:40:21.000 100%.

01:40:21.000 The algorithm now is, the gatekeepers are done, they're done, it's the algorithm.

01:40:26.000 They're deciding who sees your stuff and who can see it and who becomes a fan and who doesn't.

01:40:31.000 So that's AI already running our careers and lives.

01:40:34.000 Well that's programmed, I mean what that is, is like computer learning and their algorithm is essentially just set up to figure out how to make the most money possible.

01:40:43.000 It turns out, keep us arguing with each other.

01:40:46.000 Make the most money possible. 0.99

01:40:48.000 It's really kind of fucked up. 0.99

01:40:49.000 Imagine if it got extra money for us beating the fuck out of each other. 0.99

01:40:53.000 What if someone made a Twitter or a Tinder for just people to meet and beat the fuck out of each other legally? 0.62

01:41:00.000 That'll happen.

01:41:02.000 Why not right now?

01:41:03.000 Maybe I just invented it.

01:41:04.000 There you go. 0.99

01:41:04.000 How about you have a Tinder where people can just meet up somewhere and just beat each other's asses. 0.99

01:41:09.000 And it turns out that's more profitable because more people want to watch you beat the fuck out of each other than even turning you on to the new abortion article on Facebook. 0.99

01:41:17.000 Right. 0.67

01:41:17.000 Or something about climate change. 0.67

01:41:19.000 Yeah.

01:41:19.000 Because you really, really, really engage and people are beating the fuck out of each other.

01:41:22.000 What is it that makes, when people are fighting, why is it that these guys are making more money?

01:41:26.000 Is it because we're just on more?

01:41:27.000 We're online more because we're fighting.

01:41:29.000 Yes.

01:41:29.000 So I'm going to get the Starbucks gift card because I'm fighting with my aunt who thinks she's QAnon or whatever.

01:41:35.000 Also because they know what you've been Googling.

01:41:38.000 Say maybe you've been Googling a Rolex.

01:41:41.000 Right.

01:41:42.000 A specific role.

01:41:42.000 You really got my eye on it.

01:41:44.000 Right.

01:41:44.000 And then it starts showing you those ads in your feed.

01:41:47.000 Did you know that?

01:41:48.000 Like if you Google something?

01:41:49.000 I will Google something and I'll Google a hotel because I'm like, I wonder how much it costs for that hotel.

01:41:54.000 I'm going to this town.

01:41:55.000 And then they will give me on my Facebook news feed ads for the hotel.

01:41:59.000 Oh, yeah.

01:42:00.000 So as long as you're on...

01:42:02.000 Negativity will just keep you on those sites.

01:42:04.000 Yes.

01:42:05.000 Here's the thing.

01:42:06.000 Most of my recommendations are all muscle cars and martial arts stuff and hunting stuff.

01:42:12.000 Those are the things that I watch.

01:42:13.000 So that's most of the recommendations that I get.

01:42:16.000 But Ari did a trick. 1.00

01:42:18.000 The puppies.

01:42:19.000 Yeah, the puppies thing.

01:42:20.000 And it really worked. 0.99

01:42:21.000 But if you're a person that's just mad all the time, is looking for fucking... 0.99

01:42:24.000 Conspiracies, looking to get pissed off at the world. 0.99

01:42:26.000 And my Facebook is all negative.

01:42:27.000 Facebook doesn't have anything positive now.

01:42:29.000 Every status is like, I just had a knee operation.

01:42:31.000 There's dead dogs everywhere.

01:42:33.000 It's littered with dead pets.

01:42:35.000 Everybody's like, you know, can you help?

01:42:38.000 Here's a GoFundMe.

01:42:39.000 My neighbor's house burned down.

01:42:40.000 Everything is just human tragedy and finding.

01:42:43.000 There's money in that, right?

01:42:44.000 Is that what it is?

01:42:45.000 Nobody on Facebook's like, by the way, I had a great day and I just love my family.

01:42:49.000 Everybody's like, I need help right now or I'm going to die. 0.99

01:42:53.000 Facebook, it turned, it was college kids trying to have a bit about it where it's like, these were college kids just trying to fuck. 0.99

01:42:59.000 And now it is the complete opposite where it's just elderly people screaming at each other. 0.97

01:43:03.000 Well, it's become more of an old person's thing, too, right? 0.97

01:43:05.000 It's a boomer thing, and my aunt loves it.

01:43:07.000 She's on Facebook all the time talking about...

01:43:09.000 She thinks she's talking to Trump on Facebook.

01:43:11.000 That's hilarious.

01:43:12.000 Directly.

01:43:13.000 Well, she has a few glasses of wine and Percocet, and she goes in.

01:43:15.000 Woo! 0.99

01:43:16.000 And you know somebody's good when they get on Facebook and they go, I just got out of Facebook jail.

01:43:21.000 That's my favorite.

01:43:22.000 Oh, when they get banned for a little bit?

01:43:23.000 Yeah, when they come back, that's when you know you got a live one.

01:43:27.000 They go, I just got out of Facebook jail, so they go, I'm going to take it slow, and then they start, within a few statuses, they start getting back into like, hey, here's Nancy Pelosi's address, and Michelle Obama's a man, or whatever.

01:43:40.000 That's a big one!

01:43:41.000 That's a big one now!

01:43:42.000 Huge!

01:43:43.000 That's a big deal!

01:43:43.000 I don't know if you know this, this is a giant conspiracy theory.

01:43:46.000 That Michelle Obama's a man.

01:43:47.000 Eddie Bravo was on this, he was an early adopter.

01:43:50.000 I had somebody who's kind of intelligent that I respect tried to tell me, he was like, it's true.

01:43:54.000 Oh, dude, there's a lot of people that believe this.

01:43:57.000 It's hilarious.

01:43:58.000 It's kind of wild, though. 0.82

01:43:59.000 They think either she's a hermaphrodite or she's a transvestite or transsexual. 0.94

01:44:03.000 Is it just based on the way that her pants, like, bunch up? 1.00

01:44:06.000 No, it's nonsense.

01:44:07.000 Of course. 0.55

01:44:07.000 It's nonsense. 0.55

01:44:08.000 Yeah, the image is based on her pants bunching up, 100%. 1.00

01:44:11.000 But somebody, like, pretended...

01:44:13.000 I mean, listen, he wasn't wrong about Epstein.

01:44:18.000 Hey... 1.00

01:44:19.000 He's right about a lot of shit. 1.00

01:44:20.000 He's right about a lot of stuff. 0.99

01:44:21.000 I don't think that's true.

01:44:23.000 Maybe that was back when Alex was drinking.

01:44:25.000 He's having fun.

01:44:27.000 August 2017. That was his late summer episode.

01:44:31.000 He was getting torched then.

01:44:32.000 Alex told me he is 90 days clean.

01:44:35.000 90 days.

01:44:35.000 I want to go on Infowars in December.

01:44:37.000 My goal, I really want to go on Infowars in December and wear Santa hats with him and sing like Happy Holidays. 1.00

01:44:42.000 Don't fucking do it. 0.98

01:44:43.000 I really want to do that. 0.99

01:44:44.000 Just schedule something at Cap City.

01:44:47.000 Yeah, I would love to do it and I want to go on there, but during the holidays we could have Santa hats on and it would be nice and festive.

01:44:53.000 I did a show last time I was there.

01:44:55.000 Yeah.

01:44:55.000 I love Cap City.

01:44:56.000 Cap City's like one of the greatest clubs of all time.

01:44:58.000 Well, Austin's a great town for comedy.

01:45:00.000 It's a great town.

01:45:00.000 They like to laugh at themselves.

01:45:01.000 Well, they're very unusual.

01:45:03.000 Yes.

01:45:03.000 In that they're Texas, but they're also like a little San Francisco.

01:45:06.000 Right. 0.99

01:45:07.000 You know, it's like San Francisco fucked Texas. 1.00

01:45:09.000 Absolutely. 1.00

01:45:10.000 No, Texas would fuck San Francisco. 1.00

01:45:11.000 Texas is fucking San Francisco. 1.00

01:45:12.000 Texas is doing the fucking... 1.00

01:45:14.000 But San Francisco would only come if there's weird shit involved. 1.00

01:45:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

01:45:17.000 Like you gotta...

01:45:17.000 They'd have to bleed or something.

01:45:20.000 You gotta hold them down.

01:45:21.000 Austin's fun because they laugh at themselves.

01:45:24.000 It's that weird collision of...

01:45:25.000 We are certainly Texas.

01:45:27.000 You're in...

01:45:27.000 It's the capital of Texas.

01:45:28.000 Yeah.

01:45:29.000 But you have a lot of progressive people.

01:45:30.000 So that fusion...

01:45:31.000 I think anytime you have a...

01:45:32.000 Like Boston's a great comedy town or D.C. It's because there's a natural tension that you can kind of just touch on those tension points as a comedian.

01:45:40.000 Because Boston is like...

01:45:42.000 A lot of working class people, a lot of Ivy League people, there's a lot of race issues, DC is the whole political divide.

01:45:49.000 So I think if you touch on those tension points, and Austin certainly has them.

01:45:52.000 Yeah, it's got everything.

01:45:54.000 It's a weird mixture of cowboys and hippies and really Barbecue restaurants where you've got to wait nine hours to get in.

01:46:03.000 Psychedelic culture.

01:46:04.000 Yeah.

01:46:05.000 A lot of artists.

01:46:06.000 It's a very interesting look.

01:46:07.000 I'll point at a restaurant and I'll be like, is that a homeless shelter?

01:46:10.000 They'll be like, no, it's the highest rated restaurant in the state.

01:46:12.000 It's an odd place.

01:46:14.000 Things that don't hang themselves.

01:46:16.000 Senator Kennedy drops Epstein joke demands answers at hearing.

01:46:20.000 There's a hearing today and Senator Kennedy said...

01:46:23.000 Is this one of the Kennedys, I guess, right?

01:46:29.000 That's okay.

01:46:30.000 We don't need to hear it.

01:46:31.000 I like that they're having fun with it.

01:46:32.000 I don't know who he is.

01:46:33.000 He's trolling.

01:46:34.000 He's getting his name out there. 0.85

01:46:36.000 I like that they're having fun with the idea that a cabal of pedophiles run the government.

01:46:40.000 They're just having fun.

01:46:42.000 Dude.

01:46:43.000 Freak me out.

01:46:44.000 I mean, listen, maybe that's not the case.

01:46:45.000 I don't know.

01:46:46.000 I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of it and everything will be okay.

01:46:49.000 That's probably the case, unfortunately.

01:46:50.000 I'm sure everything will be okay. 0.99

01:46:52.000 It's just what a sick fucking reality. 1.00

01:46:56.000 It's a sick reality. 0.99

01:46:57.000 Whatever we do know of it, for sure, is a problem.

01:47:01.000 Is a real problem.

01:47:01.000 It's a real big problem.

01:47:02.000 And I think that there's a lot of people that are just...

01:47:05.000 Like I said, when we talked last time, I said, it's not in your daily life. 1.00

01:47:09.000 You don't think about this shit. 0.99

01:47:10.000 You don't think about those crazy sites on the dark web that are getting 300,000 or 400,000 hits. 1.00

01:47:14.000 Where it's like, who the fuck are those people? 1.00

01:47:16.000 Who are those people signing onto the dark web to watch all this fucked up shit? 1.00

01:47:20.000 Somebody out there. 1.00

01:47:21.000 Somebody in a cubicle right now is sitting next to somebody who's a monster. 0.79

01:47:26.000 And you would never know it.

01:47:27.000 Because you're like, hey, how are you?

01:47:29.000 And hey, is the coffee machine working?

01:47:30.000 And they go home and God only knows.

01:47:33.000 Right.

01:47:34.000 Because it's like there's just a lot.

01:47:35.000 You know, these human trafficking sweeps, when they sweep these people up, there's like a lot of them.

01:47:39.000 Yeah.

01:47:40.000 It's really wild.

01:47:41.000 Do you know that I read somewhere that there's more slavery today, right now, than was in 1865 when they made slavery illegal?

01:47:51.000 That is interesting.

01:47:52.000 So when slavery was legal in the United States in 1864, there's more slavery today.

01:47:58.000 In places like Libya?

01:47:59.000 All over the world.

01:48:00.000 In Africa and stuff?

01:48:01.000 Just the sheer numbers of the world.

01:48:03.000 Do they count people that are working at Foxconn?

01:48:06.000 You Googling that?

01:48:07.000 Do you think they count people that work?

01:48:08.000 He looks very skeptical.

01:48:10.000 I've read that more than once.

01:48:12.000 I'm pretty close to being...

01:48:14.000 Jamie checked out if Michelle Obama was a man.

01:48:16.000 He's like, these guys run a road, I'm not going down.

01:48:19.000 Eddie sent me one of them boomerangs.

01:48:21.000 40 million, supposedly.

01:48:23.000 What slavery are they including? 0.99

01:48:25.000 Sex trafficking, any human trafficking victims.

01:48:28.000 Are they including people that work for Apple and those factories?

01:48:31.000 Foxconn?

01:48:32.000 Those are crazy, right?

01:48:33.000 That seems odd.

01:48:34.000 It seems odd that we go, well, that's how they do it there.

01:48:37.000 What?

01:48:38.000 Incidents of modern-day slavery are only likely to increase as a result of some of the biggest challenges facing the world today.

01:48:44.000 So they're saying there's an estimated 40 million people are enslaved around the world, and a quarter of them are children.

01:48:50.000 Now, let's Google...

01:48:51.000 That's crazy.

01:48:53.000 Let's Google how many slaves were there in 1864. In America, we're arguing about whether the chicken sandwich shop we like supports our views.

01:49:00.000 Yes, it's very important.

01:49:02.000 That's where we're at. 0.99

01:49:03.000 That's where we get behind butt-fucking. 1.00

01:49:04.000 Right, or not. 0.98

01:49:05.000 You mean like in America or the world?

01:49:07.000 Yes, yes, yes.

01:49:07.000 Or just in America.

01:49:08.000 Well, if they have the world. 0.97

01:49:09.000 I thought it was very fun watching fat people threaten Chick-fil-A. Well, the Chick-fil-A thing is strange.

01:49:14.000 Are they affecting policy?

01:49:18.000 If they're affecting policy, I understand why people would be concerned.

01:49:20.000 I mean, who knows?

01:49:21.000 Listen, they're a corporation. 0.99

01:49:22.000 They probably looked at themselves and said, we want to expand into more liberal cities and shit. 0.99

01:49:27.000 Okay, here it goes. 0.99

01:49:28.000 Yeah.

01:49:28.000 Wow.

01:49:29.000 It was only 31 million people back in 1860. That's total.

01:49:32.000 That's the whole population.

01:49:34.000 That's everybody.

01:49:35.000 Three million.

01:49:37.000 Wow.

01:49:38.000 Dude, stop.

01:49:39.000 We had less people.

01:49:40.000 Just stop and look about that.

01:49:41.000 In 1860, the census counted 31 million people in the United States, right?

01:49:47.000 Right.

01:49:49.000 3,900 of them were slaves.

01:49:52.000 3,953,760 of them were slaves.

01:49:57.000 And most of them were Irish.

01:49:59.000 So it's one-tenth.

01:50:00.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:50:01.000 One-tenth of them were fucking slaves. 1.00

01:50:03.000 More. 1.00

01:50:03.000 It's more than one-tenth. 1.00

01:50:04.000 That's crazy.

01:50:04.000 Yeah.

01:50:04.000 One-tenth of the people.

01:50:06.000 It was bad.

01:50:07.000 One out of ten people was a slave.

01:50:09.000 That's insane.

01:50:10.000 Yeah, it was not a good...

01:50:10.000 That was not a good period.

01:50:12.000 Dude, that's insane.

01:50:13.000 Yeah, that wasn't our best time.

01:50:14.000 Just stop it.

01:50:16.000 That's hard to believe.

01:50:17.000 Well, that's why people don't understand, I think, when they talk about racism being over.

01:50:22.000 It's like, this was a massive thing, and it didn't stop at slavery.

01:50:25.000 It was like another hundred years of people not being denied opportunities.

01:50:30.000 No.

01:50:30.000 Not just that.

01:50:31.000 People being murdered.

01:50:32.000 Murdered, lynched.

01:50:33.000 Not only that, being pulled over by cops.

01:50:35.000 Yeah, disappeared. 0.99

01:50:36.000 Bullshit trumped up tribes and they just sent them to jail and make them work for nothing. 1.00

01:50:39.000 It's crazy. 1.00

01:50:40.000 They basically reinstated slaves as a lot of these jails.

01:50:43.000 Yeah, they have a lot of prison labor. 0.84

01:50:45.000 What Tulsi called Kamala Harris out. 0.98

01:50:47.000 Yes.

01:50:48.000 Kamala Harris is like one of these people.

01:50:50.000 She went hard at her. 0.98

01:50:51.000 Yeah.

01:50:51.000 What's going on with, do you think Tulsi is, I mean, she's not polling well.

01:50:55.000 I don't know about any of that stuff, dude.

01:50:57.000 Yeah, she's an intro. 1.00

01:50:58.000 I'm the wrong guy.

01:50:58.000 If I'm talking about it, you know what it's like?

01:51:00.000 It's like a guy who doesn't know jack shit talking to me about the UFC. Right. 0.91

01:51:03.000 That's how I sound.

01:51:05.000 That happens.

01:51:05.000 All the time.

01:51:06.000 Yeah.

01:51:06.000 And I have to go, that's not really how it works.

01:51:10.000 Right.

01:51:10.000 Let me explain.

01:51:11.000 This is the situation.

01:51:12.000 I think she's, I mean, I like her.

01:51:13.000 I like that she went back at Hillary.

01:51:15.000 That was a, do you think Hillary's getting back in?

01:51:17.000 I don't think so.

01:51:18.000 I don't think so.

01:51:19.000 Not with all this Epstein thing. 1.00

01:51:21.000 She's probably going to kill a few more people. 1.00

01:51:22.000 She's probably busy. 1.00

01:51:23.000 Great conspiracy theory.

01:51:24.000 Biden wins.

01:51:25.000 He has Hillary as his VP. He gets impeached because of the Ukraine stuff, and then Hillary becomes the president.

01:51:30.000 How Tulsi Gabbard's feud with Clinton helped extend her time in the spotlight.

01:51:34.000 They're always going negative at her. 0.99

01:51:36.000 Well, because she doesn't take any of their bullshit. 0.99

01:51:38.000 She gets all her money from the public. 1.00

01:51:42.000 It's like Sanders, they don't fuck with Sanders either. 0.99

01:51:45.000 Mainstream outlets don't really fuck with Sanders. 0.99

01:51:47.000 No, they're not going to. 1.00

01:51:48.000 And they're not going to fuck with her either. 1.00

01:51:49.000 And the two of them together would almost be unstoppable. 1.00

01:51:50.000 They're trying to...

01:51:51.000 There's a coronation with Elizabeth Warren.

01:51:53.000 Those two together? 0.66

01:51:54.000 Tulsi and Sanders would be crazy.

01:51:56.000 I mean, I know she wants to be president totally, and I would vote for her, I guess.

01:51:59.000 I say I guess.

01:52:00.000 Because, look, I would vote for her.

01:52:02.000 I would vote for Bernie too, though.

01:52:04.000 Bernie has a lot of interesting things.

01:52:06.000 I'm curious.

01:52:07.000 I'm curious as to how this is all going to play out.

01:52:09.000 I really am.

01:52:10.000 I'm really curious.

01:52:12.000 The whole thing is like, whew, where does this go?

01:52:14.000 It's a crazy election.

01:52:15.000 And it's crazy that when you look at the spate of Democratic candidates, you're like, there's nobody...

01:52:21.000 Under 70?

01:52:22.000 I wish Bernie didn't have a heart attack.

01:52:23.000 I know, me too.

01:52:24.000 But I think, you know, listen, people have heart attacks.

01:52:27.000 Did you hear that there were, it turns out probably false, but there were rumors over the last couple days that Trump might have had a heart attack or had some sort of heart problem because he was in, like, some people were reporting that he was rushed to the hospital over the weekend and they hadn't seen him for a couple days.

01:52:40.000 He came out this morning and said he didn't have a heart attack.

01:52:44.000 It's like, he actually addressed it.

01:52:45.000 Wait, who came out and said it?

01:52:47.000 Trump did, yeah.

01:52:48.000 Yeah, when someone tells you they didn't have a heart attack, you're like, why did you tell me that?

01:52:52.000 I just love that we're being, yeah, we're being run by people that are just getting ready to leave the planet.

01:52:57.000 Yes.

01:52:57.000 It's really crazy.

01:52:58.000 And they're all scrambling in this power game that they're playing.

01:53:01.000 It's really weird.

01:53:03.000 Yeah.

01:53:03.000 Can you imagine being that old and being a billionaire?

01:53:06.000 I mean, he's at least $1 billion.

01:53:08.000 He's got like $3 billion.

01:53:09.000 And still wanting the job, being the president.

01:53:11.000 Well, because I think money is anticlimactic.

01:53:13.000 Yeah.

01:53:14.000 I'm sure.

01:53:14.000 I had a very routine physical.

01:53:16.000 Trump existed.

01:53:17.000 Speculation intensifies.

01:53:18.000 I just listen.

01:53:19.000 If you go into bed at night and you think this guy cares about you or you think any of them care about you, I just don't.

01:53:25.000 I can't get on board with that.

01:53:27.000 Well, that guy is like...

01:53:32.000 Right.

01:53:48.000 These guys are freaking out to have that many people upset at you, that many people plotting against you, that many people that want to impeach you, that many people that don't want your policies, that many people that want to hold you by everything you've ever done, ever in your whole life, and bring it up every time you hold a press conference. 0.99

01:54:01.000 Every day is a fucking war! 0.98

01:54:03.000 Right, yeah. 1.00

01:54:04.000 It's a war!

01:54:05.000 You can't be worried about...

01:54:06.000 You could be worried about people in a very general sense, but I don't think it's possible... 0.97

01:54:12.000 Like, when I got shit because I said... 0.98

01:54:15.000 When Obama was crying because of a school shooting, I was like, listen, presidents kind of choose when to cry. 0.99

01:54:20.000 People got mad at me about that.

01:54:22.000 I'm saying that's not that he doesn't have emotion, but this is also a guy that's ordered the deaths of people daily.

01:54:27.000 You know what being president's like?

01:54:28.000 Yeah. 0.81

01:54:29.000 It's like every four years, they hire a new man or woman someday, maybe, to kill the unkillable dragon.

01:54:38.000 Yeah. 0.58

01:54:39.000 Right.

01:54:39.000 And every year the person tells you, I got it.

01:54:41.000 I got it.

01:54:42.000 I got it. 0.78

01:54:42.000 I'm slaying it. 0.78

01:54:43.000 I'm gonna fucking nail it. 0.99

01:54:44.000 I got a plan. 0.98

01:54:45.000 We're gonna put it together.

01:54:46.000 Right. 0.98

01:54:46.000 If you make me the dragon slayer, we're fucking peace here in Mudville. 0.98

01:54:50.000 Yeah, and then they come out of the cave and they're like, I've made a deal with the dragon. 0.99

01:54:53.000 No, they go and try to kill him. 1.00

01:54:54.000 I kill the dragon and they get fucked up. 1.00

01:54:56.000 Nobody ever kills the dragon. 1.00

01:54:57.000 No, it's not meant to be killed.

01:54:58.000 The system's not designed to be...

01:55:00.000 But you can't say that people get mad because they're like, oh, you're cynical, you're this.

01:55:03.000 But with this system that we're in right now, it's not really designed for a wholesale reimagining.

01:55:06.000 Well, it's also not designed for 320 million people.

01:55:10.000 Right.

01:55:11.000 I never thought that was going to happen. 1.00

01:55:13.000 I mean, these fucking people that came over here, man, they were riding around on horses. 0.99

01:55:18.000 Do you ever read the Pentagon estimates for the future of mega cities? 0.99

01:55:24.000 What's going to happen to places like LA and New York where you're just going to have endless strife and unrest and problems with...

01:55:32.000 I mean, it's kind of terrifying when you read that stuff.

01:55:36.000 Well, with the Andrew Yang stuff, with his theories about automation, and on top of that, you put them all together.

01:55:46.000 It's a problem.

01:55:47.000 It doesn't matter what Ocasio-Cortez tweets or Trump tweets. 1.00

01:55:50.000 We're fucked. 1.00

01:55:51.000 Did you see that one with Acacio Cortez and this giant transsexual gal in this beautiful outfit? 1.00

01:56:01.000 I don't know how tall AOC is.

01:56:04.000 She looks like she's about 5'7 to me. 0.99

01:56:06.000 This lady next to her is a gigantor. 1.00

01:56:09.000 And she's painted orange with white face paint and she's clapping.

01:56:13.000 And what was this about?

01:56:14.000 What was this for?

01:56:15.000 Apparently AOC went to a show and she was just giving the gal props. 1.00

01:56:19.000 Yeah.

01:56:19.000 And clapping and she was like super animated.

01:56:22.000 You don't really see a congresswoman do.

01:56:25.000 Yeah.

01:56:25.000 And this trans woman was beyond thrilled.

01:56:29.000 I'm assuming it was a...

01:56:30.000 Did you see the one where they're at the rally and they start talking about eating the babies?

01:56:35.000 That's amazing.

01:56:35.000 Where AOC, somebody stands up.

01:56:37.000 I mean, that's one of the funniest things.

01:56:38.000 What do you think that is?

01:56:39.000 Is that someone who's doing an onion thing?

01:56:40.000 I hope so.

01:56:41.000 I think so.

01:56:42.000 I think that's somebody who's just doing a character. 0.92

01:56:45.000 Or someone who's legitimately mentally ill. 0.98

01:56:47.000 Somebody who's legitimately mentally ill. 0.95

01:56:48.000 But it was too funny.

01:56:50.000 And too good, where I'm like, no, this is somebody who's really, because they got into it.

01:56:56.000 You could see, I love that.

01:56:58.000 It's like the scene from Borat, where he's doing the thing at the rodeo, and you could see their faces starting to change, because they're like, oh wait, something's off.

01:57:06.000 You could see Acacia Cortez's face start to change as a woman started talking about eating infants. 1.00

01:57:11.000 And you could see Acacia Cortez.

01:57:13.000 Yeah, I remember this.

01:57:16.000 So good.

01:57:18.000 Getting with the fossil fuel is not going to solve the problem fast enough.

01:57:23.000 A Swedish professor saying we can eat dead people, but that's not fast enough.

01:57:28.000 So I think your next campaign slogan has to be this.

01:57:32.000 We've got to start eating babies. 1.00

01:57:34.000 We don't have enough time.

01:57:36.000 There's too much CO2! All of you!

01:57:39.000 Oh my god.

01:57:40.000 This is amazing.

01:57:42.000 You know, now that I'm watching her, I'm like, maybe it is a real person.

01:57:45.000 I think it's a real person.

01:57:46.000 I love it.

01:57:47.000 There's something too good about it.

01:57:48.000 If it's not a real person, she's going to be the star of one of the Melissa McCarthy movies.

01:57:52.000 Yeah, she's amazing. 1.00

01:57:54.000 We just heard her say that, and as I was Googling it, Snopes came up, and it says, did AOC supporters suggest that fact-check mixture of results?

01:58:04.000 I'm not going to go to the thing to read what they say, but why wouldn't they just say true?

01:58:07.000 Because that's what it said.

01:58:08.000 Well, because it might have been a joke.

01:58:11.000 I think Snopes leans pretty hard left in establishment.

01:58:16.000 They're very establishment.

01:58:17.000 They check things against mainstream organs of opinion.

01:58:22.000 Yeah.

01:58:23.000 Oh, this is great.

01:58:25.000 It might be.

01:58:26.000 It might be.

01:58:27.000 What does it say?

01:58:30.000 What's true?

01:58:31.000 Yeah, they have stunts of doing this, a conspiracy group.

01:58:34.000 She was an AOC supporter.

01:58:36.000 Okay.

01:58:37.000 They say their internet troll was to troll Ocasio-Cortez.

01:58:40.000 And good job!

01:58:41.000 Great job!

01:58:42.000 She apparently was working at the behest of a fringe conspiracy group with a history of such stunts. 0.71

01:58:47.000 Of course.

01:58:48.000 Yeah, why not?

01:58:49.000 Of course.

01:58:49.000 Have fun.

01:58:50.000 Right, have fun.

01:58:50.000 Have fun.

01:58:51.000 And it seemed fake, right?

01:58:52.000 It seemed, I mean, it seemed real.

01:58:54.000 It seemed real.

01:58:55.000 But I mean, it seemed like there's no way someone really would want to eat babies.

01:58:57.000 It's an extreme position. 1.00

01:58:59.000 Fuck yeah. 1.00

01:59:00.000 It's an extreme position. 1.00

01:59:02.000 I just love...

01:59:03.000 Did you see the video with her and the trans lady?

01:59:05.000 Yeah.

01:59:05.000 I was looking for that.

01:59:06.000 I saw it, but I was trying to find it again.

01:59:08.000 That's insane.

01:59:10.000 This lady's like... 1.00

01:59:11.000 You think she would ever come on this show, Ocasio-Cortez?

01:59:14.000 Yeah, sure she would.

01:59:14.000 Interesting.

01:59:15.000 I'd be nice to her.

01:59:16.000 Yeah.

01:59:16.000 I like her.

01:59:17.000 Yeah, sweet.

01:59:18.000 She's 28, man. 1.00

01:59:19.000 She's daft, though. 1.00

01:59:20.000 She said, we're going to get rid of planes. 0.99

01:59:22.000 Is that what she said?

01:59:23.000 Yeah, come on. 1.00

01:59:24.000 She's a silly girl. 0.99

01:59:24.000 She's a bartender two years ago, pouring Soko Lime shots. 0.99

01:59:27.000 You need a fucking far left to balance off the far right. 0.96

01:59:32.000 Yeah, you need extremes. 0.99

01:59:33.000 Everybody just needs to be a little more reasonable. 0.98

01:59:34.000 You need just crazy people.

01:59:35.000 Reasonable and see each other's point of view. 0.74

01:59:36.000 It's great that we have a game show host versus a bartender.

01:59:39.000 That's great!

01:59:40.000 Which one's the game show host again?

01:59:42.000 Trump.

01:59:43.000 And then she's a bartender. 1.00

01:59:44.000 And this is how it ends.

01:59:45.000 Why not?

01:59:46.000 She could be president. 0.96

01:59:48.000 I will make Logan Paul president.

01:59:49.000 He's a smart guy.

01:59:51.000 He will run.

01:59:52.000 YouTubers are going to have millions of dollars, millions of fans, and no skills when they're all 40. I will make him the president of the United States.

02:00:00.000 He will not be that bad at it.

02:00:01.000 He's disciplined.

02:00:03.000 He's got a heart.

02:00:04.000 I will be his Steve Bannon.

02:00:06.000 I'm going to get involved in that.

02:00:07.000 Yeah, he's already had two fights.

02:00:09.000 Two boxing matches in front of the whole world.

02:00:12.000 I think the next group of political figures may come from the internet.

02:00:17.000 They may be YouTubers.

02:00:19.000 It's possible.

02:00:20.000 Yeah.

02:00:20.000 Did you watch that fight?

02:00:21.000 I watched a little bit of it.

02:00:22.000 What'd you think?

02:00:23.000 They're not bad.

02:00:24.000 They got wild.

02:00:26.000 They worked their asses off.

02:00:27.000 Yeah, they clearly did.

02:00:28.000 They were in real good shape to fight six rounds.

02:00:30.000 The thing that happened when he hit him when he was down, that two-point thing that he lost, is that legit? 0.74

02:00:35.000 You're not supposed to hit someone when they're down.

02:00:37.000 There it is.

02:00:37.000 Look at that.

02:00:39.000 Give me some volume.

02:00:41.000 Can you do that or no?

02:00:42.000 Bad idea?

02:00:44.000 Unbelievable.

02:00:45.000 Genius.

02:00:47.000 From the revolutionary of our time.

02:00:49.000 I love you so much.

02:00:50.000 Thank you for being here.

02:00:51.000 What's the hug?

02:00:51.000 Oh, adorable.

02:00:53.000 Somewhere Papua Cannon is sitting there being like, you see? 1.00

02:00:56.000 That threw me off so hard.

02:00:57.000 What were we just talking about before that?

02:01:00.000 The KSI Logan Paul fight.

02:01:02.000 Oh, yeah.

02:01:02.000 So they got wild.

02:01:04.000 It's hard to keep your shit together when you're fighting in front of all those people. 1.00

02:01:09.000 But if one of them had been able to keep their shit together and not go wild and just box... 1.00

02:01:14.000 Like, I don't know which one boxes better. 1.00

02:01:16.000 It seems like Logan Paul was training with Shannon the Cannon Briggs, who's legit as fuck. 0.97

02:01:21.000 I mean, he's like, you know, he was one of the top heavyweights in the world, former world champion. 0.98

02:01:25.000 I mean, he knows how to teach boxing. 0.98

02:01:28.000 He knows how to fucking box, as good as it gets. 0.99

02:01:30.000 So he was working with Logan Paul. 0.99

02:01:32.000 And he said some crazy shit, like, Logan Paul could be heavyweight champion in the world. 0.99

02:01:35.000 He's white, he got money. 1.00

02:01:38.000 I'm saying he could be the president.

02:01:39.000 I mean, I don't know about that.

02:01:42.000 But I do know he's a real athlete.

02:01:44.000 He's an athlete, yeah.

02:01:45.000 He dedicated himself to it.

02:01:46.000 I mean, I did a podcast at his house and he was training all day, ice bath, all the things, you know, whatever.

02:01:51.000 You can tell.

02:01:52.000 You can tell.

02:01:53.000 And the same thing with KSI. They're both athletes.

02:01:56.000 They both know how to fight a little bit and they probably fuck up someone who's not as good as them. 0.92

02:02:00.000 But they both got wild. 0.95

02:02:02.000 And what that means is you start swinging for the fences.

02:02:05.000 And sometimes you land and sometimes you don't.

02:02:07.000 But if one of them could have stayed technical and just boxed and just fired off sharp jabs and cleaned right hands and moved a lot and kept your hands up and boxed, don't get emotional.

02:02:17.000 If they could just box and not get emotional, they'd start landing.

02:02:19.000 And if you start landing, you start hurting the guy.

02:02:21.000 You got to start hurting the guy with punches that...

02:02:24.000 Aren't your hardest shot. 0.51

02:02:25.000 You're not winding up with them.

02:02:27.000 You're not exposing yourself.

02:02:28.000 You're just fighting technically.

02:02:29.000 That's the difference between someone who knows how to box a little bit and starts slugging versus someone who's smart.

02:02:37.000 Someone who understands that when you're under duress.

02:02:41.000 He's been in a lot of fights.

02:02:43.000 Right.

02:03:03.000 He just executes everything.

02:03:05.000 He's figuring you out.

02:03:06.000 He's finding the holes.

02:03:07.000 He's popping them in there.

02:03:08.000 He's not getting hit. 0.79

02:03:09.000 And then eventually he starts chopping people down and breaking them down.

02:03:12.000 And that's what he did with Conor.

02:03:13.000 I mean, it was a great money grab for Conor, but that didn't make any sense, right?

02:03:18.000 But these guys, what they are is they're both at a similar level.

02:03:22.000 The reason why it's so fun to watch is because they can hit a little bit.

02:03:26.000 They both are good athletes.

02:03:28.000 Yeah. 0.73

02:03:28.000 And they're both kind of learning how to fight, and they're both super fucking famous online. 0.73

02:03:32.000 Yeah.

02:03:33.000 And then they get together, and then they're even bigger.

02:03:35.000 It was explosive. 1.00

02:03:36.000 They sold out the fucking statement. 1.00

02:03:36.000 What does that hold? 1.00

02:03:37.000 I don't know.

02:03:38.000 It's crazy.

02:03:39.000 It's going to be like 20,000 people or something.

02:03:40.000 It's a lot of people.

02:03:41.000 It's a lot of people.

02:03:42.000 It was one of the biggest internet events, you know?

02:03:45.000 Oh, yeah.

02:03:46.000 Because, yeah. 1.00

02:03:46.000 And it was a good fucking fight. 1.00

02:03:48.000 It's wild. 0.99

02:03:48.000 In terms of entertainment value, they went after it. 0.99

02:03:51.000 They didn't.

02:03:51.000 But I think if one of them...

02:03:54.000 Learned how to just box. 1.00

02:03:56.000 Just stay like a fucking samurai and just box. 1.00

02:03:59.000 And never let that emotion get a hold of you. 1.00

02:04:01.000 Hard to do in the Staples Center.

02:04:04.000 It's always hard to do. 1.00

02:04:05.000 But it's even more hard to do when you talk shit to each other. 0.96

02:04:08.000 Is there a similarity when you're playing arenas now? 0.98

02:04:11.000 Is that different when you're in an arena versus you being in a smaller venue?

02:04:15.000 Well, it's nothing like a fight.

02:04:17.000 Well, of course.

02:04:17.000 The thing about fights is like, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes.

02:04:20.000 It's happening!

02:04:21.000 Right.

02:04:21.000 It's like, all the preparation, all your nightmares, you get knocked out, all the weird feelings, like you get hurt in training, you have to work around it, it still hurts when you get in there.

02:04:31.000 All that stuff that they're dealing with when they go in there is like, stand-up times a million. 0.68

02:04:35.000 Like, the thing about stand-up is if you do your prep work and you get your shit together, you could do it many, many nights in a row. 0.97

02:04:41.000 Correct. 0.92

02:04:42.000 They can't do that.

02:04:42.000 That's true.

02:04:43.000 They got one chance.

02:04:45.000 One chance.

02:04:46.000 One chance. 1.00

02:04:46.000 You know that one time you did a joke and it just came out like shit? 1.00

02:04:49.000 Yes. 1.00

02:04:49.000 And you're like, fuck, I wish I could do that show again. 1.00

02:04:52.000 It rots you away. 1.00

02:04:53.000 It rots you away.

02:04:53.000 Well, sometimes people have moments like that athletically.

02:04:56.000 Like, you just fucked up. 0.99

02:04:58.000 Your chin was up high. 1.00

02:04:59.000 You came in swinging.

02:05:00.000 You got clipped.

02:05:01.000 Once you got clipped in the first round, you tried to box in the second and third, and then he takes you out in the fourth. 1.00

02:05:06.000 And you're like, fuck! 0.99

02:05:07.000 If I just played my fight right and played my game right, I could have outboxed him. 1.00

02:05:11.000 But instead, I did something stupid and I got clipped. 0.97

02:05:14.000 But then it's also, I guess, part of it is the show. 0.93

02:05:16.000 Yeah.

02:05:16.000 Part of it is the spectacle.

02:05:17.000 Well, I'm saying it's so much easier to do comedy.

02:05:20.000 No, of course.

02:05:21.000 It's not even close.

02:05:21.000 Of course.

02:05:22.000 Of course.

02:05:22.000 I do want to fight Chelsea Handler.

02:05:24.000 That is a good fight.

02:05:25.000 That's a great fight.

02:05:26.000 Me and Chelsea is a good fight.

02:05:27.000 Do you think she'd be down with that?

02:05:29.000 What would you fight over, though?

02:05:31.000 I mean, her latest documentary, it's Hello Privilege, it's me Chelsea.

02:05:34.000 We'll fight over that.

02:05:36.000 Which was wild.

02:05:37.000 I mean, you know, it was a little wild.

02:05:39.000 Did you see it?

02:05:39.000 No.

02:05:40.000 It's her talking about white privilege in the back of her Bel Air mansion in the backyard.

02:05:43.000 It's a fun one.

02:05:44.000 And I just think she should go around and apologize for all the things.

02:05:48.000 Like, she should go to the Gaza Strip and do Hello Gaza, it's me Chelsea. 0.57

02:05:51.000 And Tuskegee Airmen, Hello Tuskegee, it's me Chelsea.

02:05:54.000 I don't think they're allowed to.

02:05:55.000 Yeah, well, right.

02:05:55.000 She's got to go to graves.

02:05:57.000 She should just apologize for everything America's ever done.

02:05:59.000 Go to Native Americans. 1.00

02:06:01.000 No, I mean, I kid around, but maybe these...

02:06:04.000 It's a joke.

02:06:06.000 Don't, you know...

02:06:07.000 This is a joke.

02:06:07.000 But maybe these celebrity fights are going to be bigger things.

02:06:11.000 Like, didn't Bieber challenge Tom Cruise?

02:06:13.000 I mean, Tom Cruise didn't accept.

02:06:14.000 Out of nowhere.

02:06:15.000 Yeah.

02:06:16.000 Bieber just wants to fight.

02:06:18.000 I think Bieber's hilarious.

02:06:19.000 He likes to fight.

02:06:21.000 I think he's sober now, right?

02:06:22.000 Is he sober?

02:06:23.000 My friend saw him the other day in a luncheonette in Beverly Hills and sober wouldn't be the first word that would be used.

02:06:29.000 Maybe smoking that reefer.

02:06:30.000 Yeah.

02:06:30.000 Again.

02:06:31.000 You can have fun.

02:06:31.000 He's in a war zone.

02:06:32.000 His life's a war zone.

02:06:33.000 It's wild.

02:06:34.000 Became famous when he was like six years old.

02:06:36.000 As a young, yeah.

02:06:38.000 It's wild. 0.99

02:06:38.000 And could you imagine the type of gals that put that punana in a fucking slingshot and sent it his way? 0.99

02:06:48.000 He's grown up. 0.99

02:06:49.000 He's grown up with that.

02:06:51.000 He's grown up with NDAs. 0.74

02:06:52.000 God.

02:06:53.000 Yeah.

02:06:53.000 And bodyguards everywhere.

02:06:55.000 I know.

02:06:55.000 Everywhere you go, you're...

02:06:56.000 Yeah.

02:06:57.000 So he wants to fight Tom Cruise.

02:06:58.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:06:58.000 He's probably hoping Tom Cruise kills him. 0.98

02:07:00.000 Gross. 1.00

02:07:01.000 Take me out of this.

02:07:02.000 Somebody was on a flight one day with Leonardo DiCaprio and the plane was going down and Leo wasn't nervous.

02:07:07.000 And my friend was losing their mind because they were nervous.

02:07:09.000 And Leo just kind of sat there cool.

02:07:10.000 And I'm like, yeah, because that's the only thing he hasn't done yet.

02:07:12.000 He's been in a plane crash.

02:07:13.000 He's done it all.

02:07:15.000 He's done it all.

02:07:16.000 He's ready to go.

02:07:16.000 He's ready to be a legend.

02:07:17.000 What experience do you need to have if you're Leo at this point?

02:07:20.000 Probably he was also absorbing the emotions of almost dying in a plane crash.

02:07:24.000 Just to use them.

02:07:25.000 That's a real sociopath. 1.00

02:07:27.000 That's a real sick person. 1.00

02:07:29.000 He's just recording it. 0.99

02:07:30.000 Yeah, actors are sick. 0.82

02:07:31.000 He's not sick.

02:07:31.000 He's involved in charities.

02:07:33.000 Oh, sure they are. 1.00

02:07:33.000 He's such a piece of shit. 1.00

02:07:34.000 I'm sure no one's laundering money. 1.00

02:07:35.000 No.

02:07:36.000 No one's laundering any money.

02:07:37.000 No.

02:07:38.000 It's real charities.

02:07:40.000 How many people had to do with that fire festival?

02:07:42.000 How many people?

02:07:43.000 A lot of people.

02:07:45.000 Ja Rule.

02:07:46.000 A bunch of people.

02:07:48.000 That's one of them things where you're like, wait, what?

02:07:50.000 What happened there?

02:07:51.000 Yeah.

02:07:52.000 Well, it's one of those things where the original fire festival was like the Iraq War.

02:07:57.000 I couldn't even watch the documentary.

02:07:59.000 I watched both of them.

02:08:00.000 I was cringing so hard.

02:08:02.000 It's so great, though.

02:08:03.000 It's fun to see.

02:08:04.000 I was squirming in my seat.

02:08:05.000 I was trying to watch it on a plane.

02:08:07.000 It's fun to see people... 1.00

02:08:09.000 Who want to do something stupid or something ridiculous. 1.00

02:08:13.000 You know, people that are status-obsessed and everything, get what's coming to them. 1.00

02:08:18.000 What's this?

02:08:20.000 Ja Rule dismissed from $100 million Fyre Festival class action lawsuit.

02:08:25.000 He skated away.

02:08:25.000 How did he get dismissed?

02:08:28.000 He didn't know.

02:08:29.000 He skated away.

02:08:30.000 He probably didn't have anything to do with the business aspect of it. 1.00

02:08:32.000 He's a fucking rapper. 1.00

02:08:34.000 Right? 1.00

02:08:34.000 He probably got together with that dude. 1.00

02:08:35.000 That dude lied to him.

02:08:37.000 He thought the guy was telling the truth.

02:08:38.000 Next thing you know, he's involved in a lawsuit.

02:08:40.000 Think of the people at Day of Fire Festival.

02:08:43.000 That's my favorite part of the documentary.

02:08:44.000 When they know that it's never going to work.

02:08:46.000 Right.

02:08:47.000 That's an interesting...

02:08:48.000 They know that it's all over.

02:08:51.000 And then the people are hitting the island that day.

02:08:54.000 Could you imagine also thinking your first promotion?

02:08:57.000 What does your first promotion mean?

02:08:58.000 You do a theater?

02:09:00.000 You're going to try to fill a small theater?

02:09:02.000 No, no, no.

02:09:03.000 My first one, I'm going to do an island.

02:09:06.000 A private island.

02:09:07.000 I'm going to have people fly in, and I'm going to feed them bologna sandwiches on white styrofoam.

02:09:14.000 People with Supreme shirts are going to come in and eat Katrina food. 1.00

02:09:18.000 Did you see Wild Wild Country?

02:09:20.000 No, what is that? 0.98

02:09:21.000 Is that the sex cult? 0.97

02:09:22.000 Yeah. 0.80

02:09:22.000 Yeah, I've been told by multiple people to see that. 0.80

02:09:25.000 You need to watch that.

02:09:26.000 I've got to get into that one.

02:09:27.000 If you think that Fyre Festival is cringy, you're just going to be like, what is happening? 0.50

02:09:32.000 And is it a sex cult? 0.96

02:09:34.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:09:34.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

02:09:35.000 It's like six episodes.

02:09:37.000 Is it like six?

02:09:38.000 Four?

02:09:38.000 Something like that?

02:09:39.000 Is it one of those where by the end you can't feel bad for the people?

02:09:41.000 No, you feel bad, man.

02:09:43.000 You still do? 1.00

02:09:43.000 I feel bad about cults because I've been a moron most of my life. 1.00

02:09:47.000 I've never got roped into a cult, but I've been lucky. 0.97

02:09:52.000 I've been lucky with nice parents.

02:09:55.000 I've been lucky.

02:09:56.000 I grew up in a pretty nice neighborhood.

02:09:58.000 You never look.

02:10:00.000 Every now and then I'll look at the Scientology building and go, huh.

02:10:03.000 Oh, I did when I moved here.

02:10:04.000 You know, sometimes I go, what's that?

02:10:05.000 When I moved here, I bought a Dianetics book on the TV app.

02:10:09.000 Really?

02:10:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:10:10.000 I didn't know what it meant.

02:10:11.000 You didn't know what it was.

02:10:11.000 You were curious.

02:10:12.000 I found myself help.

02:10:13.000 I had Anthony Bourdain.

02:10:14.000 Not Bourdain.

02:10:15.000 Anthony Robbins.

02:10:16.000 I had all of his cassettes.

02:10:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

02:10:18.000 All that fucking get your shit together cassettes. 1.00

02:10:21.000 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

02:10:21.000 I got to get my shit together. 1.00

02:10:22.000 I was always trying to get my shit together. 0.99

02:10:24.000 So you just thought Dianetics. 0.99

02:10:25.000 And did you read it?

02:10:25.000 I didn't know what it was.

02:10:26.000 And were you like, this is...

02:10:27.000 I ordered the book.

02:10:28.000 I got the book in the mail.

02:10:29.000 And like most of those books back then, I would read them like four or five times and pick it up, read it for 10 minutes.

02:10:33.000 I'm like, what am I doing?

02:10:34.000 And I put it down.

02:10:35.000 Like maybe I went through a whole chapter.

02:10:37.000 Maybe.

02:10:38.000 Right.

02:10:38.000 Best case scenario.

02:10:40.000 Most of the time, I just sat.

02:10:41.000 I'm like, this isn't working for me.

02:10:42.000 I wasn't disciplined.

02:10:45.000 Like I was scatterbrained.

02:10:46.000 And so I was always looking for something back then when I was in my 20s.

02:10:50.000 I was looking for something to give me discipline.

02:10:51.000 Well, there's a lot of people in LA too.

02:10:52.000 A lot of people come to LA looking for something to fill a void.

02:10:56.000 Cults thrive here.

02:10:57.000 Now, if you grew up, the thing is, if you grew up in an orthodox religion, in a religion that's very rigid, and you trust in them, even if it doesn't make any sense, like, I know a lady who did that, where she grew up in the Mormons, 1.00

02:11:13.000 and then she got out of the Mormons, and once she got out, it was really hard for her to tell if people were full of shit. 0.99

02:11:20.000 She felt like it was too easy to dupe her. 0.99

02:11:23.000 She would get taken in by cult people, taken in by spiritual people, taken in by kooks.

02:11:29.000 She just put that aura out there. 0.99

02:11:32.000 Well, she just was not aware of bullshit. 0.99

02:11:35.000 Right. 1.00

02:11:36.000 Because she believed such crazy bullshit for so long. 0.99

02:11:39.000 If you're willing to believe that Joseph Smith found golden tablets that contained the lost work of Jesus, and only he could read it because he has a magic seer stone, and then when the people came to read him, the angels took him away because God didn't believe you trusted him. 1.00

02:11:53.000 Nuts! 0.70

02:11:54.000 That the Native Americans were a lost tribe of Israel. 0.92

02:11:58.000 It's wacky.

02:11:59.000 If you're going to do that, why not?

02:12:01.000 You'll believe anything.

02:12:01.000 Why not believe anything?

02:12:03.000 So, if I grew up like that, I would be We're good to go.

02:12:45.000 It's interesting.

02:12:51.000 A lot of those people happen to be very trusting when they get out of those.

02:12:54.000 It's interesting.

02:12:55.000 Trusting?

02:12:56.000 Yeah, you'd think they'd be more skeptical, but they're actually very trusting when they get out of those things.

02:13:01.000 It's a weird thing, man, when you think about getting roped into a cult when you're a young person.

02:13:08.000 Yeah.

02:13:09.000 I know quite a few people that have had those kind of experience when they're younger, too.

02:13:14.000 You ever talk to Metzger?

02:13:15.000 Yeah.

02:13:15.000 I mean, Kurt was a Jehovah's Witness.

02:13:17.000 Yeah.

02:13:18.000 Yeah.

02:13:18.000 His story's crazy.

02:13:20.000 It's a wild story.

02:13:21.000 It's all these wacky, different ideologies.

02:13:24.000 There's so many of them, man.

02:13:26.000 Yeah.

02:13:26.000 And I love that his mom was in sales.

02:13:28.000 That's what me and him talk about, because I was a sales guy, and that's another cult.

02:13:32.000 Oh, yeah, man.

02:13:32.000 Yeah, so beginning in that, so me and him always talk about that, like that.

02:13:37.000 Really good salespeople must be really good at picking up chicks, right? 0.99

02:13:40.000 They're really good at everything.

02:13:42.000 I mean, they're really good at arranging the world in a way that allows them to...

02:13:45.000 And I think a lot of good salespeople, the ones that I've observed, they don't overthink.

02:13:51.000 They don't...

02:13:52.000 There's a simplicity to what a good sale is.

02:13:55.000 I'm sure that you can write about it and make it more complex.

02:13:57.000 But at the end of the day...

02:14:01.000 It's like our lizard brains.

02:14:03.000 There's something that happens on a subterranean level where you walk in with a certain amount of confidence.

02:14:11.000 All of those hack lines in sales work.

02:14:14.000 Hack comedy sometimes work.

02:14:16.000 Hack sales lines work.

02:14:18.000 When it's like, alright, so if I can do this and this, does that make sense?

02:14:20.000 That makes sense to you?

02:14:21.000 And you say, like, when I was first telemarketing and selling mortgages and stuff, I would say, I can't say this on the phone.

02:14:28.000 People are going to laugh at me.

02:14:29.000 If I say something patently ridiculous, like, listen, if I don't help you, I don't eat. 0.82

02:14:36.000 So let's just, you know, people are going to laugh at me. 0.99

02:14:39.000 They're going to be like, this guy's ridiculous. 0.94

02:14:40.000 But people are like, okay. 0.99

02:14:42.000 Wow.

02:14:42.000 Yeah, I'm like, really?

02:14:43.000 I was also selling them in Long Island.

02:14:45.000 But the point is that those things work.

02:14:47.000 Those somewhat formulaic things work.

02:14:51.000 They work.

02:14:52.000 You're selling little psychological traps.

02:14:53.000 Yeah, I mean, sales is a business of imitation.

02:14:56.000 And that's a lot of comedy as well, right?

02:14:57.000 A lot of it, yeah.

02:14:58.000 I think until you get really good at it and then you either innovate or you really find what you're doing.

02:15:03.000 But even with sales, it's like a personality-driven thing.

02:15:06.000 You're trying to get this person to like you enough and also enjoy the product enough so you're trying to hype them up about it.

02:15:12.000 You've got to show a certain amount of enthusiasm yourself so it's contagious.

02:15:16.000 Someone who's a good salesman will talk to you about certain objects with such enthusiasm that you'll get more hyped up about the opposite.

02:15:23.000 I was always so bad that I wouldn't shut up.

02:15:26.000 Because I wouldn't shut up.

02:15:27.000 And a bad salesman just keeps going.

02:15:30.000 It's hard to know when a good salesman can turn it on and not. 1.00

02:15:33.000 You might be a bullshit customer. 0.99

02:15:35.000 They don't want to give you the A game. 1.00

02:15:36.000 Right.

02:15:37.000 Well, I would just talk.

02:15:38.000 I would get to the, you know, there's a moment in every sale where you're supposed to leave it all on the table and not speak.

02:15:43.000 And then whoever speaks first kind of loses.

02:15:45.000 That's like a tried and true sales method.

02:15:47.000 So I'm like, Joe, if I could do this, you know, Wednesday, whatever, at this price, does that work?

02:15:50.000 And then we just silent.

02:15:52.000 And then neither one of us is supposed to talk.

02:15:54.000 You're supposed to talk first. 0.77

02:15:55.000 And then you're supposed to submit and, you know, we're supposed to do the deal.

02:16:00.000 But I would like just go right back and I'd be like, there's more we can do. 0.98

02:16:04.000 And then the guy would be like, oh, this guy's a clown. 0.96

02:16:06.000 Right. 0.96

02:16:06.000 Yeah. 0.96

02:16:07.000 I mean, it was something I was not meant to do.

02:16:10.000 Yeah, you can't.

02:16:11.000 I think those guys that are really good at that, you're giving an indication that you should do it.

02:16:17.000 But I was around a lot of bad salesmen, and it's just like bad comments.

02:16:22.000 It's very sad.

02:16:23.000 It's a weird thing, right?

02:16:24.000 Because you're basically a charisma person.

02:16:27.000 You shouldn't have to have a salesperson.

02:16:31.000 You should be like, this is the price on that.

02:16:34.000 You want it?

02:16:34.000 Okay, if you want it, go talk to that guy and you can get it.

02:16:37.000 But no, a guy's like, sir, can I help you?

02:16:39.000 Welcome to Mercedes.

02:16:41.000 You know what I said?

02:16:41.000 I see you in this car.

02:16:42.000 I see you in this car, Tim Dillon.

02:16:45.000 Oh my god.

02:16:45.000 The convertible?

02:16:46.000 Look at it.

02:16:47.000 One button.

02:16:48.000 Look at that.

02:16:48.000 Boom.

02:16:49.000 Dude, you're driving.

02:16:50.000 The sky's overhead.

02:16:51.000 You're the king of the world. 0.97

02:16:52.000 I guarantee you, the way you'll feel hyped up in this car, it's going to make you kick ass in the office.

02:16:58.000 Yeah, but see, I'd be so bad, they'd walk on the lot, I'd be like, do you like cars? 0.99

02:17:02.000 Like, that's how fucked I was. 0.94

02:17:03.000 I tried to sell copiers, mortgages, and sales guys are not guys that went to school. 0.99

02:17:08.000 These are guys that are going to work around the system and become millionaires.

02:17:11.000 That's the way that we believe.

02:17:13.000 So we don't know anything about structure or organization, or we're just throwing it at the wall, like a lot of comics.

02:17:18.000 Like a lot of comics.

02:17:19.000 A lot of comics.

02:17:20.000 Just throw it at the wall.

02:17:21.000 And I'm one of those people, I'm guilty of that sometimes, too.

02:17:24.000 Where I'm like, I threw it at the wall.

02:17:25.000 Well, especially if you don't have a lot of sets.

02:17:27.000 Like, what if you're only doing three sets a week?

02:17:28.000 Yeah.

02:17:28.000 But when you tell us, like, the work ethic, when you're, like, in the car and you listen back and you do two hours and you listen back to the thing, it's like, we're all just like, okay, well...

02:17:37.000 Yeah, this, like, especially as you get older, like me, and you run out of...

02:17:43.000 Like, I have to make these fucking premises work, and I'm doing a new special, like, every couple of years? 0.99

02:17:51.000 Like, you can't fuck around that. 1.00

02:17:52.000 It's a heavy workload. 0.99

02:17:53.000 You gotta get that shit out there, and you gotta tighten up those bits with the most, like, focus that you can give them during the time you're making them. 0.98

02:18:01.000 And you go on stage at this store, and you turn the lights off, there's no crowd work, there's no... 0.99

02:18:04.000 You just...

02:18:06.000 It's like you're doing a special every night. 0.99

02:18:08.000 I'm just trying to tighten up these bits and adding to them and taking away from them and fucking with them. 0.99

02:18:14.000 It's the only way. 0.98

02:18:15.000 I've done it other ways.

02:18:16.000 I've done it half-assed before where I only did a few sets a week and I recorded a special and it wasn't that good.

02:18:21.000 And I've done it where I really hustled and it's always better.

02:18:24.000 And I think...

02:18:27.000 I think it's like a thing where you just gotta kind of stay on it and then know.

02:18:32.000 Like, okay, I think I got something here.

02:18:34.000 You gotta know.

02:18:35.000 What do you look at?

02:18:36.000 Do you look at crowd work?

02:18:37.000 Because every now and then if I do a bit and it doesn't really work, sometimes I'll try to crowd work the audience back to being on my side and then try the next bit.

02:18:42.000 Is that cheating?

02:18:43.000 No, it's never cheating.

02:18:45.000 It's never cheating.

02:18:46.000 I mean, there's nothing wrong with crowd work.

02:18:48.000 Crowd work is great.

02:18:49.000 Some great comics are great at crowd work.

02:18:51.000 It's just, I feel like every comic owes it to themselves to have material too.

02:18:56.000 Of course, of course.

02:18:57.000 There's some guys that never developed material.

02:19:00.000 Yeah, that's wild.

02:19:00.000 They only had a crowd work act.

02:19:02.000 Right, yeah.

02:19:03.000 But it's, look, they can still work, but that seems like so crazy.

02:19:07.000 No, you want to say what you're about and tell your jokes.

02:19:10.000 It's a different thing, too.

02:19:12.000 It's like it's a fun thing to work the crowd, but you never get a well-crafted, well-honed bit that you're real proud of.

02:19:20.000 And nothing works again.

02:19:21.000 Like a crowd work bit, there's no legs.

02:19:24.000 Sometimes I'll try the next night to reference something that happened that I thought was funny, and if it's just not in the moment, it doesn't work.

02:19:30.000 It doesn't work.

02:19:31.000 It's crazy.

02:19:31.000 It's a crazy gig, bro.

02:19:32.000 We got the craziest gig ever.

02:19:34.000 It's crazy, except Logan Paul and KSI, which is a crazy gig, too.

02:19:37.000 It's a crazier gig.

02:19:38.000 But our gig's weird because no one can teach you how to do it.

02:19:41.000 Someone can teach you how to box.

02:19:42.000 That's true.

02:19:42.000 Your guy can teach you to keep your hands up, punch comes this way, you gotta learn how to catch things and move, you gotta learn how to counter.

02:19:48.000 Nobody can teach you.

02:19:49.000 No, you have to figure it out on your own.

02:19:51.000 You can vary your approach so much in boxing, only so much, but in comedy, it's Do you think people getting into stand-up now because of the way that things are, everything's social media driven, do you think that we're in the last era of that traditional type of stand-up?

02:20:07.000 No.

02:20:08.000 Nah, it's like martial arts.

02:20:10.000 People are going to get better at it.

02:20:12.000 They're going to want to do it.

02:20:12.000 People still want to do it.

02:20:13.000 Yeah, it's like there's people still doing jujitsu.

02:20:16.000 Of course.

02:20:16.000 They're always going to do it.

02:20:17.000 It's not ever easy.

02:20:20.000 Right.

02:20:20.000 It's never easy to do jujitsu.

02:20:22.000 Dudes are trying to kill you. 1.00

02:20:23.000 They're fucking grabbing your arm. 1.00

02:20:25.000 You're always sore. 0.99

02:20:26.000 But people are going to keep doing it.

02:20:28.000 Most people are not going to do it.

02:20:29.000 It's the same thing with stand-up.

02:20:30.000 Although way more people are doing jujitsu than doing stand-up.

02:20:34.000 Most people can do it because you don't have to have a certain personality like you do in stand-up.

02:20:39.000 But if you could just put the time in, if you're a reasonably funny person and you start doing it and you put the time in and you're a driven person and you realize you can keep getting better if you keep paying attention to it, you're going to get addicted.

02:20:52.000 That's what happens.

02:20:53.000 You do get addicted. 0.95

02:20:54.000 What's more fun than killing? 0.98

02:20:55.000 Nothing's more fun than killing. 0.99

02:20:56.000 Especially when you're two years in and you just start to figure it out. 0.96

02:21:01.000 Just getting paid.

02:21:03.000 Just starting to get paid.

02:21:04.000 You're doing gigs wherever you can.

02:21:06.000 You're driving around with your friends.

02:21:07.000 There's nothing funner.

02:21:08.000 I look back at those days, I'm so lucky that I'm still real good friends with Greg Fitzsimmons.

02:21:13.000 I almost forgot his name.

02:21:14.000 Greg Fitzsimmons. 0.99

02:21:15.000 I almost fucked up his name. 0.98

02:21:18.000 We started out within a week of each other. 0.99

02:21:21.000 So we knew each other forever.

02:21:23.000 In Boston.

02:21:24.000 We did a shitload of terrible gigs together.

02:21:26.000 It's hilarious.

02:21:28.000 I forget about some of them sometimes and he tells me about them and I'll tell him about one that he forgot.

02:21:32.000 Oh, wow, yeah.

02:21:33.000 You look back.

02:21:34.000 Horrible, bro.

02:21:35.000 And this is all 1988, 1989. Wow.

02:21:38.000 1990. So you've seen the whole, you know, explosions and, you know, it's like booms and busts and the whole thing.

02:21:44.000 Dude, I got so lucky.

02:21:45.000 It's like I was on a video game.

02:21:47.000 Yeah.

02:21:48.000 And the video game led me to, like, challenges in a very unusual spot.

02:21:54.000 Like, I got so lucky that I walked into Boston...

02:21:58.000 Right at the cresting of the wave of the comedy boom.

02:22:19.000 There was Nick's Comedy Stop, then there was a Comedy Connection on the same street, and then above it was the Comedy Club at the Charles Playhouse?

02:22:30.000 Yeah, that's what it was.

02:22:31.000 And still some of the funniest people in the world are from that area in Boston.

02:22:35.000 And then over here, right across the street, was a place called Duck Soup.

02:22:37.000 So there were four of them within walking distance, three of them on one block.

02:22:41.000 And then there was a Dick Daugherty's Comedy Vault that was an old bank vault that was like a block away from that.

02:22:47.000 Yeah, so you could just bounce around and... 0.98

02:22:48.000 Dude, it was fucking crazy. 1.00

02:22:50.000 And these guys were murderers. 0.99

02:22:52.000 What made you want to do it initially?

02:22:54.000 What was the thing that made you want to do it?

02:22:55.000 Well, I definitely didn't know if I could do it until I went to an open mic night.

02:23:00.000 But I had friends that had talked me into doing it.

02:23:03.000 Okay.

02:23:03.000 Guys that I worked out with.

02:23:04.000 I thought it was funny. 1.00

02:23:05.000 But I was saying, bunch of fuckers. 1.00

02:23:06.000 They thought you were maybe going to go bomb or no? 1.00

02:23:09.000 No.

02:23:09.000 No, I was a young kid.

02:23:11.000 I was 20 at this time, 21 when I first started doing stand-up, but 20 when I was thinking about it.

02:23:16.000 And I just wanted a lot of attention.

02:23:20.000 And so I would say funny things when I knew that everybody was nervous.

02:23:23.000 And so right before sparring, that was a big one, everybody would be real nervous, because we were sparring.

02:23:27.000 It was hardcore, man.

02:23:29.000 A bunch of dudes, like as good as me or better, are kicking each other.

02:23:34.000 It's like, woo!

02:23:36.000 It's dangerous.

02:23:36.000 We saw guys getting knocked out.

02:23:37.000 It was nice.

02:23:38.000 It's scary. 0.89

02:23:38.000 It scared the shit out of you, like sparring. 0.89

02:23:40.000 Sparring is scary. 0.56

02:23:41.000 And I would always make fun of things.

02:23:43.000 When we'd go to tournaments, I'd make fun of people.

02:23:45.000 I'd make fun of myself.

02:23:46.000 I'd make fun of each other. 0.99

02:23:47.000 I'd do impressions of my friends having sex. 0.99

02:23:50.000 This is what I think you sound like. 0.99

02:23:51.000 Everybody would be laughing.

02:23:52.000 But I would just try to make them laugh, right?

02:23:54.000 But I didn't think, oh, I'm going to be a comedian. 0.99

02:23:56.000 My friend Steve Graham, who I'm still good friends with to this day, was the one who told me, you should be a fucking comedian. 1.00

02:24:01.000 That's crazy. 1.00

02:24:02.000 Yeah.

02:24:03.000 And so what's the first open mic night that you walk into?

02:24:06.000 August 27, 1988, Stitches Comedy Club.

02:24:10.000 It's this little comedy club.

02:24:12.000 Still there?

02:24:12.000 No, it's not there anymore.

02:24:14.000 It was next to another place that was larger. 0.96

02:24:19.000 I can't remember the name of the other place, but the other place that was next to it that was really pretty big, next to Stitches, I Fuck, I wish I could remember.

02:24:27.000 It was like a rock club, and they occasionally have big acts there.

02:24:30.000 And I went to see Jerry Seinfeld there.

02:24:32.000 Wow.

02:24:33.000 With this chick I was dating when I was like 19. It's 88. Yeah, this was even before that.

02:24:39.000 I went to see Jerry Seinfeld there before I ever did comedy.

02:24:43.000 I went to see Jerry Seinfeld.

02:24:44.000 I was maybe 20, like maybe.

02:24:47.000 Wow.

02:24:47.000 Somewhere around there.

02:24:48.000 And how does that first set go?

02:24:53.000 Terrible.

02:24:53.000 Yeah, it was terrible.

02:24:54.000 Because my first hit was okay, but it was in like a coffee house, who cares, that barely counts.

02:24:59.000 You were in an actual club.

02:25:00.000 I was in an actual club, actual open mic night.

02:25:03.000 Real, you know, I felt real weird.

02:25:05.000 Weird to hear your voice on a microphone for the first time.

02:25:08.000 Yeah.

02:25:09.000 Barely got laughs.

02:25:10.000 Got a couple of ha-ha, ha-ha.

02:25:11.000 Now we're your friends Darren now.

02:25:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:25:13.000 A bunch of my friends.

02:25:14.000 Guys that I'm still friends with.

02:25:16.000 Shout out to Jimmy Dutileo and Jimmy Lawless.

02:25:18.000 Those guys were there.

02:25:20.000 Some other people that I went to high school with were there.

02:25:22.000 And it was terrible.

02:25:23.000 It was terrible.

02:25:26.000 It's tough.

02:25:26.000 Every now and then you'll see a young guy whose family's in the audience and then he'll go up and just have a real rough time.

02:25:32.000 Yeah, man.

02:25:33.000 It can happen.

02:25:33.000 You shouldn't bring your whole family.

02:25:35.000 It was a stupid move on my part. 1.00

02:25:36.000 I've done it. 1.00

02:25:37.000 I didn't want to drink before I went on stage.

02:25:39.000 One thing I did make a decision, I said, look, if I have a drink right now before I go on stage, I'm probably going to want one every time I go on stage.

02:25:44.000 It's true.

02:25:45.000 Because this is like right when I started legally drinking.

02:25:48.000 Right.

02:25:48.000 Because I had turned 21 on August 11th and this was August 27th.

02:25:52.000 So it was just a few weeks.

02:25:54.000 A couple weeks.

02:25:55.000 And it was one of those, I don't know if you should do this.

02:25:58.000 Don't drink every time you get up there.

02:26:01.000 I was very aware of that.

02:26:03.000 I was like, just go up there.

02:26:04.000 Because I was so scared.

02:26:05.000 I was hoping that they didn't call my name.

02:26:08.000 There's nothing like the fear right before that first time.

02:26:12.000 It's a lot of fear.

02:26:13.000 Dude, I had fought so many times.

02:26:16.000 I don't even know how many times.

02:26:18.000 For years and years. 0.72

02:26:19.000 Traveled all over the place, kicking people in the face, getting kicked. 0.71

02:26:22.000 I mean, I did that all the time.

02:26:23.000 That didn't scare me as much as going on stage that first time. 0.91

02:26:26.000 I was shitting my pants.

02:26:29.000 But once I did it once, it alleviated a lot of that. 0.96

02:26:32.000 And it became less and less, like, over time. 1.00

02:26:34.000 After you did it, did you feel like, oh, fuck? 0.99

02:26:36.000 Or were you still nervous? 1.00

02:26:37.000 Were you like, I'm going to do this again?

02:26:39.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:26:39.000 Yeah, I thought immediately, this is what I'm going to do.

02:26:43.000 Like immediately.

02:26:44.000 I've never had a voice in my head ever.

02:26:47.000 But that time I did.

02:26:49.000 That time I did, I was about to chicken out.

02:26:51.000 And I heard a voice in my head say, no, this is what you're supposed to do.

02:26:55.000 Now, clearly, I think that's my imagination. 1.00

02:26:57.000 And clearly, I think it's probably me knowing that I was going to be a pussy. 1.00

02:27:00.000 So come on, stupid. 1.00

02:27:02.000 So I was probably talking to myself inside my head. 1.00

02:27:04.000 But dude, it felt real.

02:27:05.000 It felt like a voice was telling me. 1.00

02:27:08.000 Don't be a pussy. 1.00

02:27:09.000 This is what you're supposed to do. 1.00

02:27:11.000 Come on.

02:27:11.000 Just do it.

02:27:12.000 I think a lot of people have that.

02:27:13.000 This is what you're supposed to do.

02:27:13.000 I think a lot of people have that.

02:27:15.000 I think I wanted, the first time I did it, I said, maybe I should do it in a week.

02:27:18.000 Maybe I'll be more prepared in a week.

02:27:20.000 Maybe I'll push it off.

02:27:21.000 But then you just go, I gotta just do it.

02:27:23.000 Well, the host of my first open mic night was Jonathan Katz.

02:27:26.000 Oh yeah, Dr. Katz.

02:27:28.000 Yeah, famous Boston comic.

02:27:30.000 Great guy.

02:27:32.000 And I put my name in for the list, but there's a lot of people on the list.

02:27:37.000 And he wasn't sure whether or not I was going to get on.

02:27:39.000 And sometimes people would sign up and then they would chicken out.

02:27:42.000 So I'm in this position where he's like, I'm not sure if we're going to be able to get you up.

02:27:45.000 So give me a couple minutes and I'll know for sure. 0.98

02:27:48.000 So during those couple minutes I was thinking, I should just say, fuck this, I'm getting out of here. 0.99

02:27:52.000 Right. 1.00

02:27:52.000 I'm shitting my pants. 1.00

02:27:54.000 Right, right, right. 0.97

02:27:54.000 And then he came back and then I had that thought that said, no, this is what you're supposed to do. 0.97

02:27:59.000 Come on.

02:28:00.000 And you got in there and then he came up to me and goes, hey, I'm going to be able to get you up.

02:28:03.000 And I was like, oh my God, here we go.

02:28:05.000 Yeah.

02:28:06.000 That's always the worst.

02:28:07.000 And that's the worst.

02:28:07.000 And that's happened to me where it's like they come up to you and you're almost waiting.

02:28:10.000 You're ready for him to go.

02:28:11.000 We can't do it tonight.

02:28:12.000 You go, okay, it's great.

02:28:14.000 Yeah.

02:28:14.000 Great.

02:28:14.000 Don't worry about it.

02:28:15.000 But he goes, no, no, no, you're good.

02:28:16.000 You're on next. 1.00

02:28:17.000 And you're like, fuck. 1.00

02:28:18.000 Yeah, I think I had one or two people in front of me. 1.00

02:28:21.000 Everybody was doing five minutes.

02:28:22.000 One or two people in front of me where I could just relax.

02:28:25.000 But it was amazing.

02:28:27.000 It allowed me to get my feet wet.

02:28:30.000 It allowed me to move my feet.

02:28:31.000 And it was also the first time I'd ever been...

02:28:36.000 First time I'd ever seen like legitimate professional stand-ups performing in a club like that too.

02:28:42.000 Like in those environments with amateurs.

02:28:45.000 Like the first time I ever saw like the stark difference between a guy like me and there was this guy Teddy Bergeron who was another Boston legend. 1.00

02:28:53.000 He's a fucking animal. 0.99

02:28:55.000 He was so funny. 1.00

02:28:57.000 There was a couple other guys would stop by those open mic nights back in those days, like pros, like local pros.

02:29:02.000 They'd do 5-10 minutes, just work some material out, just stay sharp.

02:29:07.000 Everyone was staying sharp.

02:29:09.000 That was the first time you got to watch that. 0.99

02:29:11.000 You got to see that and you're like, holy shit, you can get to this level? 0.99

02:29:15.000 You see a real pro, all smooth. 1.00

02:29:19.000 Murdering.

02:29:19.000 See him do that same joke again and again and again and kind of break down the mechanics of it.

02:29:23.000 Yeah, and you say, oh, okay, I get how he's doing it.

02:29:26.000 Yeah.

02:29:27.000 That's a cool thing about the store as well.

02:29:29.000 It's great, yeah.

02:29:30.000 We all get to watch each other work.

02:29:33.000 Tony Rock is different than Jessel Neck, is different than you, is different than Joey Diaz.

02:29:38.000 Everybody's got their own style.

02:29:40.000 Everybody has their own style.

02:29:41.000 I saw Joey Diaz the other night in the original room.

02:29:44.000 I had rarely seen sets like that. 0.79

02:29:47.000 Where it was like he was just so fucking in a zone that it was like... 0.91

02:29:53.000 For that 10 minutes, nobody was on the planet anymore. 0.82

02:29:57.000 It was just like everybody had been elevated to somewhere else.

02:30:00.000 It was wild to watch.

02:30:02.000 He goes for it.

02:30:03.000 I was happy I was not after him.

02:30:04.000 I was very happy I was not.

02:30:06.000 That's a tough spot, son.

02:30:08.000 Then it's like, well, I'm going to go after him one day, not tonight.

02:30:12.000 Yeah.

02:30:13.000 One day.

02:30:14.000 Not tonight.

02:30:15.000 I'll sit in the back.

02:30:16.000 He's a tough guy to go on after.

02:30:18.000 You used to bring him to open all the time.

02:30:20.000 Always. 0.99

02:30:20.000 And one time I ate shit in New Jersey. 0.99

02:30:22.000 I ate shit in Rascals going on after him. 1.00

02:30:24.000 He was loose as fuck. 1.00

02:30:26.000 And when I say ate shit, I pulled it off, but not really. 1.00

02:30:29.000 They didn't get booed off the stage, but I know it wasn't very good. 1.00

02:30:33.000 And he fucking murdered. 0.99

02:30:35.000 And I remember something happened in the crowd. 1.00

02:30:37.000 He was fucking with them. 0.99

02:30:37.000 It was just crazy. 0.99

02:30:39.000 There was a wild crowd.

02:30:40.000 And I was stiff back then.

02:30:42.000 That's my biggest problem is when I feel stiff on stage and I feel like I'm not in a groove.

02:30:48.000 I'm like, this is a problem.

02:30:50.000 Yeah, it's hard.

02:30:51.000 It's hard to break out of that sometimes.

02:30:52.000 And back then I was terrible at it.

02:30:54.000 But I thought to myself, taking him on the road with me is a great exercise.

02:30:59.000 It's like bringing a training partner with you that can definitely strangle you.

02:31:02.000 So you're forced to really up your game.

02:31:04.000 Yeah.

02:31:05.000 If you're working with Joey Diaz, you can't...

02:31:07.000 A lot of the great...

02:31:08.000 You gotta be sharp.

02:31:08.000 A lot of really good comics, great comics bring openers that are, you know, good.

02:31:13.000 I think that's the move.

02:31:14.000 Yeah.

02:31:14.000 Because I've seen guys do the opposite, and they do it on purpose.

02:31:17.000 They do it...

02:31:18.000 They think that what they're gonna do is they're gonna give people, like, a shitty comic for, like, 15, 20 minutes, and then they're gonna go on after them and look like a hero.

02:31:28.000 Right.

02:31:28.000 I just don't...

02:31:29.000 I don't think that's the way to go. 0.88

02:31:31.000 Also, it doesn't help anybody because the shitty comics, the reality is a lot of people that are really, really shitty, they're not going to get much better. 0.92

02:31:41.000 They hit the ceiling. 0.96

02:31:42.000 Yeah.

02:31:43.000 I mean, occasionally people do.

02:31:44.000 You can never say never because some people just figure things out.

02:31:47.000 Some people have...

02:31:48.000 You know, they start meditating. 0.99

02:31:50.000 They fucking concentrate. 1.00

02:31:51.000 They turn it around. 1.00

02:31:51.000 Yeah, they turn it around. 1.00

02:31:52.000 They figure themselves out.

02:31:53.000 They mature.

02:31:54.000 Maybe they get their heart broken.

02:31:55.000 Maybe they become a parent.

02:31:57.000 That's a small minority.

02:31:58.000 Yeah, small minority.

02:31:59.000 I mean, it's a small minority of any of us that make it.

02:32:01.000 But out of all of us that do make it to a professional status...

02:32:05.000 The ones that are really terrible in the beginning are rarely capable of progressing to a headliner state.

02:32:12.000 That's the one thing that really shocked me is the amount of people that go from amateur to professional in this, it is a tiny fraction.

02:32:19.000 It's a tiny fraction.

02:32:20.000 It's a tiny fraction of people that go from open mic nights to headlining at the improv.

02:32:24.000 It's a super, super, super small fraction.

02:32:26.000 And it's not that they're not capable of it either, because sometimes people just, it's a little wrong zig or a little wrong zag, and then they go off the track and then they don't come back.

02:32:37.000 You also have to not, you have to like getting kicked in the face a little.

02:32:40.000 Because things are gonna, I mean, you're gonna have those times when things are not good and you have to deal with that.

02:32:46.000 Yes, yes.

02:32:47.000 Like, I remember one guy looked at me once, he had a really rough set and he ended up quitting like two weeks later, but he looked at me, you could see it in his face, he goes, this wasn't fun.

02:32:54.000 And you could see he was internalizing that in a way that was going to lead him eventually to the exit door.

02:33:01.000 I think sometimes that just, you know, it's the pain of the bombing.

02:33:05.000 It's just like you're not equipped for it.

02:33:07.000 Right.

02:33:08.000 You know, at different points in your life, you're equipped for different kinds of pain, right?

02:33:11.000 And sometimes the pain of that rejection of bombing is just you're already an emotional mess and you're already so fucking barely hanging on.

02:33:22.000 You know, you're so fragile.

02:33:23.000 Yeah.

02:33:24.000 And that hits you.

02:33:25.000 That pushes you off the ledge.

02:33:28.000 And sometimes people aren't, they're not equipped to handle the killing.

02:33:31.000 Oh yeah, that too.

02:33:31.000 Yeah, the other side.

02:33:33.000 People get like legitimate fear of success.

02:33:36.000 Right. 0.99

02:33:37.000 The pressure of the unknown is fucking... 0.99

02:33:40.000 It's scary. 0.99

02:33:42.000 You'd rather know that you're not going to make it. 1.00

02:33:44.000 You'd rather know that you're just going to be a schlubby loser. 0.99

02:33:47.000 Yeah, because if you fail, if you succeed, you can fail. 0.94

02:33:50.000 If you take the real risk, that's why a lot of people don't move to New York or LA, because you can fail in a real way.

02:33:58.000 There's a bunch of fears, right?

02:33:59.000 There's a fear of keeping up with people's expectations.

02:34:03.000 Like when a comic starts to develop a fan base, you see that sometimes, they get scared.

02:34:07.000 They get scared these people are going to not like them someday.

02:34:09.000 Or turn on them.

02:34:10.000 Yeah, or turn on them.

02:34:11.000 People sense that too.

02:34:13.000 They know when you're scared of that.

02:34:14.000 They know that they own you.

02:34:15.000 They come to get you.

02:34:16.000 They control you.

02:34:17.000 They come to get you.

02:34:18.000 Yeah.

02:34:20.000 We've all seen guys go bonkers.

02:34:22.000 I honestly think people used to go more bonkers back in the day when they got development deals.

02:34:26.000 Yeah, they were just handed hundreds of thousands of dollars, millions of dollars.

02:34:30.000 Not only that, but everybody had some crazy story about their show definitely is going to go, and already picked up by Universal, and they have a $1 million backup deal, and Warner Brothers is really interested in it.

02:34:40.000 Dude, you'd have these conversations with these people.

02:34:42.000 And back in the deal days, you would say to a comic, like, hey man, what's up?

02:34:47.000 He's like, hey, well, everything's real good right now.

02:34:49.000 Warner Brothers picked up my pilot and I'm in the middle of this process where I'm taking my life story and I'm going to turn it into a cartoon.

02:34:55.000 Right, yeah.

02:34:56.000 I just want to say hi, man.

02:34:58.000 Burr told me, he goes, you know, you used to do a five, seven minute set at the improv and if you killed, there was a chance somebody in the back had a bag of money.

02:35:04.000 Sometimes.

02:35:05.000 Sometimes.

02:35:06.000 Definitely festivals were big for that in the 90s.

02:35:09.000 If you could kill at Montreal, you could get some sort of a deal.

02:35:12.000 If you could kill in front of all those executives that are on vacation, Montreal was a big one. 0.99

02:35:17.000 That was huge. 0.98

02:35:18.000 Yeah, big, big, big.

02:35:19.000 When I did it, my agent bought me a lunch.

02:35:21.000 That's good.

02:35:22.000 I did great.

02:35:22.000 It's worth lunch now.

02:35:23.000 But that's what it's worth now.

02:35:24.000 You get.

02:35:25.000 You kill at a great set, and they go anywhere you want, which it wasn't.

02:35:28.000 It was where they wanted, but it was still fine.

02:35:30.000 We got a smoked meat sandwich.

02:35:32.000 What would happen with the development deal thing would be you would get a deal, and then you'd be convinced your show was going to go, and then you started acting like you were famous.

02:35:41.000 Right.

02:35:43.000 A lot of that.

02:35:44.000 Now people do that after they have one Conan set that no one watched.

02:35:47.000 A lot of that.

02:35:48.000 My agent at the time would get...

02:35:51.000 She had clients that would just run up to her and just at any moment want to discuss their career in depth.

02:36:01.000 At the Laugh Factory, phone calls at 1 o'clock in the morning.

02:36:05.000 People were nuts.

02:36:06.000 And they started demanding that you treat them like the up-and-coming star that they know they are. 0.91

02:36:11.000 And...

02:36:12.000 A shit ton of them just went away, man.

02:36:14.000 And a lot of that, and it was just people that were like, it's all happening, and they just let it get to their head.

02:36:19.000 And then if you're the head of a show, like, you know, I talked to Roseanne about it. 0.91

02:36:24.000 She was talking about how she went fucking bonkers when she was running her original show and was making all that fucking money, like, out of nowhere. 0.98

02:36:31.000 Right. 0.97

02:36:32.000 You know, that's one of the reasons why I worked so hard to, like...

02:36:36.000 Get her comfortable and talk to her on the show and get her to open up about who she really is.

02:36:41.000 Most people don't even know the story about her getting hit in the head by a car when she was 15, spending nine months in a mental health institute.

02:36:48.000 That's what she is, man.

02:36:49.000 She's a legit head injury, a head trauma victim. 0.82

02:36:53.000 And a brilliant comic.

02:36:54.000 And one of the best comics ever.

02:36:56.000 But people need to understand, if you guys really respect mental health, like you say you do, if you're really compassionate, like you say you are, this is not a bad person.

02:37:06.000 She's not a bad person. 0.99

02:37:07.000 She's a person who was hit by a fucking car when she was 15 and brained. 1.00

02:37:11.000 And she lost her ability to count. 1.00

02:37:13.000 She couldn't do math anymore.

02:37:15.000 Yeah, she has challenges other people don't.

02:37:17.000 But it's, you know, a lot of these people, you know, with Shane Gillis, you know, these are the same, the guy on SNL, these are the same people that are like, talk about mental health all day.

02:37:24.000 And then they're tweeting this kid every single two minutes that, you know, he should be, you know, thrown out of a window.

02:37:31.000 It's like, you don't know any of these people personally.

02:37:35.000 Right.

02:37:35.000 And the idea that you could just wield this online mob is, and then the next day be like, hey, self-care is important.

02:37:43.000 I know, it's crazy. 0.52

02:37:44.000 It's so hypocritical, but it's also like what we were talking about earlier, about people leaving comments on your YouTube or whatever. 0.83

02:37:50.000 It's like, I get it. 0.91

02:37:52.000 It is what it is, yeah.

02:37:53.000 I get it.

02:37:53.000 I don't think it helps to go back and forth with people.

02:37:56.000 I think it just inflames people.

02:37:58.000 But I do get where they're coming from, just like I get the people that are hating on Shane Gillis.

02:38:04.000 I get the people that went after Roseanne.

02:38:06.000 People see you limping, man.

02:38:08.000 They start kicking you.

02:38:09.000 Yeah.

02:38:10.000 It's a normal part of being a person.

02:38:12.000 Yeah.

02:38:12.000 We've all seen it.

02:38:14.000 You know, we've all seen...

02:38:15.000 It's one of the uglier components of our nature.

02:38:18.000 Dude, World Star Hip Hop's got some of the best examples of all time. 0.99

02:38:21.000 Holy shit. 0.99

02:38:22.000 One guy gets punched, he goes out cold, and everybody just starts kicking him. 1.00

02:38:25.000 Yeah.

02:38:25.000 Wow.

02:38:26.000 Dude, it's rough.

02:38:27.000 Yeah.

02:38:28.000 I've seen a bunch of those.

02:38:29.000 Right.

02:38:29.000 A bunch.

02:38:31.000 Yeah.

02:38:32.000 Yeah, it's weird. 0.98

02:38:33.000 It's a part of being a person, you know, and mob mentality is fucking real. 0.59

02:38:37.000 It's real in person if you've ever experienced it. 0.91

02:38:40.000 I've been in a couple of situations before where it just felt like anything could break out at any moment and things got wild.

02:38:46.000 Last one was at the Conor McGregor fight.

02:38:48.000 When Conor McGregor fought Khabib Nurmagomedov and then Khabib jumped out of the octagon and had a street fight with Dylan Dennis and people are flying into the octagon jumping over the top and punching Conor in the face and it was one of those feelings like holy shit anything can go on right now and I'm still broadcasting.

02:39:03.000 Pure chaos.

02:39:04.000 Yeah, but there's a feeling in the air.

02:39:06.000 And then if it did go crazy, people would be swinging.

02:39:09.000 Everybody would be swinging. 0.99

02:39:10.000 People would be brawling with each other for no fucking reason. 0.99

02:39:12.000 People would just look at you and try to punch you. 1.00

02:39:14.000 You'd be like, what the fuck is this about? 0.99

02:39:16.000 Sometimes things just go haywire. 0.99

02:39:19.000 Sometimes things go haywire.

02:39:20.000 And I think there's a built-in part of being a person that recognizes when things are off the rails and you go off with them.

02:39:27.000 Right.

02:39:27.000 You know what I mean?

02:39:28.000 And I think that's what the mob mentality is.

02:39:30.000 Interesting, because you're just scared of being alone.

02:39:32.000 No matter what it is, you're just scared of being alone.

02:39:34.000 You'd rather be in the chaos with others.

02:39:36.000 Have you ever talked to Jamie Kilstein?

02:39:38.000 A little bit.

02:39:39.000 Yeah, I know he follows me on Twitter.

02:39:40.000 He's a nice guy.

02:39:41.000 Very nice guy.

02:39:42.000 He was a super-duper social justice warrior.

02:39:45.000 Right.

02:39:45.000 And they turned on him.

02:39:47.000 Right.

02:39:47.000 And he realized, like, oh my god, this is what I was doing.

02:39:50.000 And he realized that he would go after people just to get this charge of seeing people respond.

02:39:56.000 This dopamine rush. 1.00

02:39:57.000 Attack a politician or attack an actor and call someone a bigot or call someone a pedophile or whatever the fuck. 1.00

02:40:02.000 Whatever it is. 0.99

02:40:03.000 I mean, I don't think he did that, but whatever you wanted to call someone.

02:40:06.000 You're just trying to press a button.

02:40:07.000 And then...

02:40:08.000 The things coming back at you.

02:40:10.000 And you get addicted to it.

02:40:11.000 Yeah, it's dopamine.

02:40:11.000 You get addicted to this game.

02:40:12.000 And we're all doing it.

02:40:14.000 We're all doing it.

02:40:15.000 And what we need is, not that there's anything wrong with it.

02:40:17.000 I don't think there's anything wrong with using Twitter and Instagram or any of these things.

02:40:20.000 Don't get me wrong.

02:40:20.000 But I think we've got to spend more time just talking to regular people.

02:40:24.000 I think our race is slowly getting sucked into the machines.

02:40:27.000 Do you think that maybe the next generation will be like Luddites or they'll be anti-technology or they'll at least...

02:40:34.000 No.

02:40:35.000 There's no shot, right?

02:40:36.000 There's no chance that the wave will recede a little bit and that people will recognize this?

02:40:40.000 I don't think so.

02:40:41.000 I think a few people are screaming out while the herd of us is running towards a cliff.

02:40:46.000 Yeah, my friend, my friend, Jessa Reed, who's a very funny comic, her mother was saying, you know, she has daughters, she goes, you know, you let the kids on the phones too much.

02:40:52.000 She goes, Mom, in 10 years, they're going to be the phone.

02:40:54.000 Yeah.

02:40:54.000 She was like, the phone's going to be inside of them soon.

02:40:56.000 Yeah.

02:40:57.000 So it's like, well, what am I fighting?

02:40:59.000 You know, what am I fighting with?

02:41:00.000 I limit my kids' time on the phones, except the older one, of course.

02:41:03.000 Do you?

02:41:05.000 I just don't think that it's a challenge.

02:41:08.000 Do you control the content?

02:41:10.000 Yes.

02:41:10.000 Yeah.

02:41:10.000 I just don't think it's a challenge that we ever faced.

02:41:13.000 Are they allowed to watch Infowars?

02:41:14.000 All day.

02:41:15.000 That's all we have.

02:41:16.000 Thank God.

02:41:16.000 We project it.

02:41:19.000 What else is the keys?

02:41:22.000 Screen time.

02:41:23.000 Screen time's a big key.

02:41:25.000 Tell her about Epstein.

02:41:26.000 Epstein didn't kill himself.

02:41:27.000 That's big.

02:41:28.000 Huge.

02:41:28.000 Before they start Googling.

02:41:29.000 Yes.

02:41:30.000 They gotta know.

02:41:31.000 They gotta know.

02:41:32.000 It fucks up your sleep when you're on a...

02:41:33.000 I fall asleep to a podcast.

02:41:35.000 You're gonna laugh.

02:41:35.000 I used to fall asleep to Alex.

02:41:37.000 I would listen to Alex's clips on YouTube and I would fall asleep to just...

02:41:42.000 And I would be able to put me to sleep.

02:41:45.000 You know what I think his best video is to this day?

02:41:47.000 He's one of the greatest entertainers of our time.

02:41:49.000 You gotta watch him.

02:41:51.000 When I first met him, he wasn't the Alex Jones that people see today.

02:41:56.000 And I think the Alex Jones that he is today is changing because of his not drinking.

02:42:01.000 Oh yeah, interesting.

02:42:03.000 Yeah, because he's clean for 90 days.

02:42:04.000 He sounds different.

02:42:06.000 But what I'm thinking is, when I first saw 9-11 Road to Tyranny, it was one of the first videos that I ever watched, I was like, whoa.

02:42:12.000 It's one of the first videos that ever opened my eyes up to certain conspiracies, and one of them was the conspiracies of using agent provocateurs to incite violence in riots to incite that feeling of chaos, and then they used it as an excuse for the police to come in and start arresting people,

02:42:28.000 because now it's no longer a peaceful protest.

02:42:30.000 And they do it all the time.

02:42:31.000 Yeah, and so he was making this argument about the World Trade Organization.

02:42:34.000 Yeah, WTO. Yeah, and so he showed all these videos of these guys coming in with government-issued work boots on.

02:42:39.000 They have like fucking the same soles as like government-issued work boots. 0.99

02:42:43.000 They're wearing ski masks, breaking buildings, lighting shit on fire, smashing everything. 1.00

02:42:47.000 And then the cops come in and clean everybody up. 0.99

02:42:48.000 And then they actually made it a no-protest zone.

02:42:52.000 Interesting.

02:42:52.000 So a guy went through, or a woman, I forget which, but had a pin with a WTO on it with a red line on it.

02:42:58.000 They told him you had to take that pin off.

02:42:59.000 Yeah.

02:43:00.000 America.

02:43:01.000 Yeah.

02:43:01.000 Well, it's just every protest resistance movement has been infiltrated.

02:43:05.000 The FBI did a COINTELPRO. They did it with the Black Panthers. 1.00

02:43:09.000 They've just done it with everybody.

02:43:10.000 But when he plays that video and you see that and it's like real clear and then you hear how it all played out that all the agent provocateurs wound up going to a safe house and then the police released them.

02:43:20.000 That's crazy.

02:43:20.000 They negotiated with the police and police released them.

02:43:22.000 You're like, wait a minute, what?

02:43:24.000 There's not even arrests made?

02:43:25.000 It's probably somebody's job in the FBI to dye their hair pink and go into Portland and start throwing rocks at Ben Shapiro or something. 0.99

02:43:32.000 Back then, they were just allowed to wear ski masks and shit. 0.99

02:43:35.000 They would just start smashing shit and you couldn't even know who they were. 0.99

02:43:38.000 And you just assumed that that was... 0.96

02:43:40.000 I mean, it's such a crazy way to stop a protest and I never thought about it until I watched a video.

02:43:44.000 But a smart way, too, when you think about it. 0.98

02:43:45.000 It's fucking real smart. 0.95

02:43:47.000 These guys know what they're doing. 1.00

02:43:48.000 They're But they've been doing that kind of shit forever. 0.99

02:43:51.000 That's like standard operational procedure. 1.00

02:43:54.000 100%.

02:43:54.000 This is a weird time for conspiracies.

02:43:58.000 It's weird.

02:43:58.000 They've gone mainstream, which is not good.

02:44:01.000 Very dangerous.

02:44:01.000 It's very dangerous.

02:44:02.000 Well, Trump's into a lot of them.

02:44:03.000 He's into a lot of them.

02:44:04.000 And I think there's not a huge...

02:44:06.000 There's only a small group of people that want a rational discussion about them.

02:44:10.000 Right.

02:44:11.000 People really just want to be emotionally fed.

02:44:13.000 Does this feel right to me?

02:44:15.000 Yeah.

02:44:16.000 I had a guy call me today.

02:44:17.000 He's a very smart guy.

02:44:18.000 He wrote The Franklin Scandal, which is a book about the original Epstein thing, the original sex trafficking thing.

02:44:23.000 What's that?

02:44:24.000 Well, The Franklin Scandal was a scandal out of Omaha, Nebraska, the Franklin Credit Union, where there was a guy who was embezzling money, and then he was being investigated for that, but they said he has all this money because he's running an interstate pedophile network.

02:44:37.000 And he's pandering kids to people in Washington, D.C. and New York.

02:44:41.000 And there was a headline in the Washington Post or the Washington Times that were like, call boys get a tour of the Reagan White House.

02:44:47.000 And this was a scandal with real victims who wanted to testify and then people started dying.

02:44:51.000 The private investigator they hired, his plane broke up.

02:44:55.000 One of the girls that testified was found guilty of perjury and then she was put in solitary confinement. 0.99

02:45:00.000 They had to use two grand juries in Omaha to get rid of this scandal.

02:45:05.000 Now, it's not as sexy as a Pizzagate or something because it happened in the 80s and 90s, but this shows you the blueprint for the government...

02:45:14.000 You know, using, marshalling resources to silence people that were victims of this stuff.

02:45:20.000 This is not new.

02:45:21.000 Congressman, senators, blackmail being used by intelligence agencies.

02:45:24.000 None of it's new.

02:45:25.000 It was pioneered by the mafia.

02:45:27.000 You know, intelligence, Whitney Webb, who lives in Chile, and I've had her on my show, she writes a lot about this stuff.

02:45:32.000 You know, this is, you know, if you want people to talk, you need info, you need leverage. 0.85

02:45:35.000 There's no more leverage than you having sex with somebody who's underage. 0.82

02:45:40.000 Then they own you forever if they have photo, audio, video of you doing that.

02:45:44.000 So these things have been going on for a while.

02:45:46.000 The Franklin scandal was one of the first.

02:45:47.000 But the guy who wrote it, this guy Nick Bryant, called me today and he goes, I can't get any agents.

02:45:51.000 It's very hard because like...

02:45:53.000 The reality is mainstream media is uninterested in a lot of these stories unless they're current and they're sexy.

02:46:02.000 And online fringe people are only interested if they're insane.

02:46:06.000 Well, there's so many of them now, though, too.

02:46:09.000 There's so many.

02:46:10.000 It's hard to keep track.

02:46:10.000 You were just saying that you were just in Dallas.

02:46:12.000 Did you do the drive?

02:46:14.000 I didn't do the drive, but I went to the X where he was shot.

02:46:18.000 Oh, where he was shot at.

02:46:20.000 There was five Canadians there and they were like, I just started giving them an impromptu tour of Dallas because they were like, is this where Kennedy got wet?

02:46:27.000 And I'm like, yeah, this is how it happened.

02:46:28.000 How many people do you think have stood there and went like this?

02:46:30.000 Right, yeah.

02:46:32.000 I wanted to do it.

02:46:33.000 Yeah, there it is.

02:46:34.000 There it is.

02:46:35.000 I wanted to do it with a Popeye's chicken sandwich and just write, you know, this is America.

02:46:39.000 It says this is where Princess Diana was killed.

02:46:41.000 Yeah, we're just having a little fun.

02:46:41.000 Is that really where Kennedy was killed, though?

02:46:43.000 That's exactly where he was shot.

02:46:44.000 That's exactly where, and how cryptic is that?

02:46:47.000 Look how angry you look.

02:46:48.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:46:48.000 You're a crazy person. 1.00

02:46:49.000 Well, I'm just trying to have a little fun. 1.00

02:46:51.000 I understand.

02:46:51.000 It's a weird thing to joke around about.

02:46:53.000 I know.

02:46:54.000 But then you go to the school book depository, and it is super close.

02:46:57.000 It could have happened.

02:46:58.000 Oh, for sure.

02:46:59.000 100%. 1.00

02:46:59.000 Listen, everybody who says there's no way he could have made those shots is out of their fucking mind. 1.00

02:47:03.000 Right. 0.99

02:47:04.000 It's not that far.

02:47:04.000 That is not the thing that makes me think it's a conspiracy.

02:47:07.000 It's literally everything else.

02:47:09.000 Yeah.

02:47:09.000 It's every other component of the story.

02:47:11.000 Yeah, there's a lot of components.

02:47:12.000 It's Oswald being shot immediately.

02:47:14.000 Yes.

02:47:14.000 I mean, that's...

02:47:16.000 Oswald surely could have been in on it.

02:47:20.000 Of course.

02:47:20.000 Yes.

02:47:21.000 Of course.

02:47:22.000 He could have definitely been in on it.

02:47:23.000 Or he could have definitely been set up.

02:47:26.000 Both of those things are possible.

02:47:27.000 And Dallas has an interesting energy because of that.

02:47:30.000 It's a great city, but it does feel like a city of people that keep their mouth shut.

02:47:35.000 A lot of big corporate steakhouses, high-end hotels, a lot of people carving up deals.

02:47:43.000 It just feels like something's going on.

02:47:45.000 Yeah.

02:47:46.000 There it is.

02:47:47.000 There it is.

02:47:48.000 So that's where he is, and that's the building up there.

02:47:50.000 See, that's not that far.

02:47:51.000 It can happen.

02:47:52.000 I think they said it's just like 150 yards or something like that?

02:47:55.000 It's not.

02:47:56.000 When you're actually there, it looks even closer than this.

02:47:58.000 Yeah.

02:47:59.000 How many yards was it, Jamie?

02:48:00.000 Find out how many yards Oswald had to shoot to hit Kennedy.

02:48:04.000 But it's totally doable.

02:48:06.000 And people would say that it's not. 1.00

02:48:08.000 You're crazy. 1.00

02:48:08.000 Yeah. 1.00

02:48:09.000 They're nuts. 1.00

02:48:09.000 And people that say that you can't load a gun that fast, maybe you can't. 1.00

02:48:14.000 I bet you someone can do it faster than you. 0.99

02:48:16.000 I've seen guys use bolt-action rifles fast as fuck. 0.99

02:48:19.000 Could they get off three shots in that amount of time? 0.99

02:48:22.000 I don't know, but I'm not...

02:48:24.000 I don't think it's magic.

02:48:25.000 I don't think it's something impossible.

02:48:27.000 The other thing they said was that the scope was off. 0.74

02:48:30.000 Anybody who said that doesn't know shit about scopes, all you have to do is handle it a little bit, drop it, bang it against things. 0.72

02:48:35.000 Scope goes off. 0.97

02:48:36.000 To me, it was the idea that that guy was killed immediately, and then obviously I've read a couple of books on it, but the idea that he gets killed immediately, that's where you go, something's wrong.

02:48:45.000 Something's just completely...

02:48:47.000 183 meters is what I just found.

02:48:50.000 183 meters.

02:48:50.000 What is that in yards?

02:48:51.000 About 200 yards.

02:48:53.000 Is it?

02:48:54.000 That's what this says.

02:48:54.000 I don't know if this is what the accurate measurement was, but that's what I just found.

02:48:58.000 That's interesting.

02:48:59.000 I didn't know it was that much of a disparity.

02:49:00.000 This says it was never more than 90 yards from Oswald's supposed location.

02:49:07.000 Oh, okay.

02:49:08.000 So where he went when he got the final shot was that far?

02:49:11.000 Was 200 yards?

02:49:12.000 No, that doesn't make any sense.

02:49:13.000 He was never more than 90 yards from Oswald's location.

02:49:16.000 How does that work?

02:49:16.000 Two separate...

02:49:21.000 I didn't know that 183 meters was 200 yards.

02:49:24.000 That's crazy.

02:49:26.000 Yeah, a meter's pretty close to a yard.

02:49:27.000 Yeah, it's pretty similar.

02:49:28.000 Right, but that's why I thought it would be like 185 or something like that.

02:49:32.000 There's actually a formula for doing that, for converting meters to yards.

02:49:37.000 You add one of the last numbers or some shit.

02:49:41.000 I forget how it works. 0.86

02:49:42.000 It's an interesting thing because it really is...

02:49:45.000 You know, Christopher Hitchens said that the Kennedy assassination was the movement that, like, that moment was the psychic movement of the 60s started.

02:49:53.000 Like, that was the fracturing of reality for a lot of people in the same way that maybe Epstein was, where it just kind of...

02:50:00.000 No, the president's got to be way bigger, man.

02:50:02.000 It's huge.

02:50:03.000 It was huge.

02:50:03.000 It was this big thing that, you know, it was a traumatic event that people dealt with in a bunch of different ways.

02:50:10.000 No one's sitting around going, do you remember where you were?

02:50:13.000 Well, you don't have the friends I do.

02:50:16.000 There's a lot of people on Reddit saying that.

02:50:18.000 But it's like 9-11.

02:50:19.000 Of course.

02:50:20.000 Almost.

02:50:20.000 Yeah.

02:50:21.000 You know, similar.

02:50:23.000 Those are the events.

02:50:24.000 Unless you knew somebody in 9-11, it's probably bigger than 9-11.

02:50:28.000 Do you think it's possible that down the road, not that the government did it, but we find out that there was a substantial cover-up.

02:50:34.000 We didn't know about Saudi Arabia, their involvement for a while.

02:50:38.000 Oh, for 9-11?

02:50:39.000 Yeah.

02:50:40.000 Do you think it's possible that we just don't know the whole story?

02:50:43.000 It's totally possible.

02:50:44.000 I don't have any idea what was being done or who was involved.

02:50:49.000 I know that there was a bunch of hijackers and they flew planes into those buildings, but who was behind that? 0.99

02:50:54.000 Who the fuck knows? 0.99

02:50:55.000 How would we know? 1.00

02:50:56.000 Great question.

02:50:56.000 What part of...

02:50:57.000 What part of Saudi Arabia, where they all came from?

02:51:00.000 Where'd they get their orders from?

02:51:02.000 How'd they organize this?

02:51:04.000 I think they know a certain amount, and I think a certain amount they'll probably never know.

02:51:07.000 Yeah.

02:51:08.000 And we'll all go to our death not knowing.

02:51:09.000 What do you think about that one that got shot down?

02:51:12.000 That Let's Roll one?

02:51:13.000 Yeah, they shot that down.

02:51:16.000 Yeah.

02:51:17.000 Yeah, they said that thing, the flight, the rubbish, the wreckage was scattered for miles.

02:51:23.000 Yeah, I mean, there's no way they didn't shot that.

02:51:25.000 But there's a lot of things about that day where you look back at it and you go, this is just weird.

02:51:30.000 It's weird that a building fell that wasn't hit by anything.

02:51:32.000 It's just weird.

02:51:33.000 I'm not saying it can't happen, but that's odd.

02:51:47.000 It's definitely odd.

02:51:52.000 And one of the things that he found out was that the version of Tower 7 that most people see is a version that's very quick.

02:51:59.000 It implodes and it just falls down.

02:52:02.000 But for minutes before that, you can watch the center of the thing collapse inside of it.

02:52:07.000 Oh, interesting.

02:52:08.000 Have you ever seen that version?

02:52:09.000 I've never seen that version.

02:52:10.000 Pull up the full version.

02:52:11.000 Can we see that one?

02:52:12.000 Yeah, it's very interesting.

02:52:13.000 Full version of Tower 7 collapsing inside.

02:52:17.000 Yeah.

02:52:17.000 Well, because the 9-11 people get so crazy.

02:52:20.000 They're like, there were no buildings.

02:52:21.000 It's all holograms.

02:52:22.000 There were no planes.

02:52:22.000 New York doesn't exist.

02:52:24.000 I mean, it's nuts.

02:52:25.000 But I want to see the uncut Building 7. Did a plane hit the Pentagon?

02:52:31.000 I think so.

02:52:32.000 Well, okay, but just release.

02:52:33.000 I just want to see one video of it happening.

02:52:35.000 Just show me one video.

02:52:37.000 Do you think they have a video?

02:52:39.000 There's 80 cameras on the Pentagon.

02:52:41.000 Just show me one video of it happening.

02:52:42.000 I think it probably happened.

02:52:43.000 Isn't there one video of a plane hitting the Pentagon?

02:52:45.000 There's one, but it's very weird.

02:52:46.000 The frames are very weird.

02:52:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:52:48.000 It's weird.

02:52:48.000 Just show me the video.

02:52:49.000 I want to believe a plane hit the Pentagon. 0.99

02:52:51.000 The rover on the fucking moon is taking beautiful videos. 0.99

02:52:54.000 This is what I'm saying! 1.00

02:52:56.000 This is the problem!

02:52:57.000 This is the issue! 0.99

02:52:58.000 You imagine if you have some shit that's like a thousand times worse than one of them doorbell cameras? 1.00

02:53:04.000 They got a thousand times worth viewing the goddamn Pentagon. 1.00

02:53:08.000 They're putting it together from cell phone cameras. 0.99

02:53:11.000 I understand that technology was different.

02:53:13.000 Just show me a video of a plane hitting the Pentagon and I'm good.

02:53:15.000 I'm with you.

02:53:16.000 What do you think?

02:53:16.000 It could be a missile?

02:53:17.000 I don't know, but I just want to know why there's no one video.

02:53:22.000 We've got to see a video.

02:53:24.000 Isn't that crazy?

02:53:25.000 Why am I crazy for saying, can I just see one video of the thing happening that you said happened?

02:53:31.000 Well, did you know that...

02:53:32.000 Maybe this is not true, and Jamie's going to be checking this one out soon.

02:53:36.000 The area in the Pentagon that got hit...

02:53:38.000 Was re-fortified.

02:53:40.000 ...was the same area where they were doing the accounting.

02:53:43.000 Yeah.

02:53:44.000 Where they were trying to figure out where the trillion dollars is missing that Rumsfeld was talking about on camera.

02:53:50.000 Just that...

02:53:51.000 I think the day before, right?

02:53:53.000 Wasn't he?

02:53:53.000 Yeah, it's an interesting situation.

02:53:56.000 Didn't he say that there's missing money?

02:53:59.000 Wasn't Rumsfeld out on the lawn?

02:54:01.000 These people, what are they doing?

02:54:03.000 They're just doing press.

02:54:04.000 You're not in a bunker.

02:54:05.000 You're out on the lawn.

02:54:06.000 I don't know what happened.

02:54:07.000 I mean, listen.

02:54:07.000 It was something crazy, like trillions of dollars.

02:54:09.000 2.3.

02:54:10.000 It's a 2.3 trillion.

02:54:11.000 Oh my god.

02:54:12.000 I mean, you know.

02:54:13.000 And so the next day, see if that's true, that that area of the Pentagon that held the accounting.

02:54:19.000 I don't think they tell you what.

02:54:21.000 Just see if you can Google the area of the Pentagon that was hit contained the accounting offices.

02:54:27.000 Jamie, I believe the dark web will have it.

02:54:29.000 The dark web will have it, Jamie.

02:54:31.000 I feel like I read that, though.

02:54:34.000 I understand your suspicion, but I just like you to...

02:54:36.000 I'm trying to lie.

02:54:37.000 I heard that Building 7 had a lot of financial records in it.

02:54:40.000 That's what I heard.

02:54:41.000 That's what I heard.

02:54:42.000 And Ron?

02:54:43.000 I don't know.

02:54:44.000 All the satellite dishes that were pointed at...

02:54:46.000 Listen, here's the thing with the way I look at conspiracies.

02:54:48.000 I don't want to believe in any of them.

02:54:49.000 Right.

02:54:49.000 That's the whole thing.

02:54:50.000 I want there to be a plan to hit the pen.

02:54:51.000 I want it all to be what it is.

02:54:55.000 I have no investment. 0.97

02:54:56.000 But now that we know that a bunch of elites were going to an island to have sex with underage girls, we know. 0.99

02:55:00.000 Yeah, of course! 0.99

02:55:01.000 They could do whatever.

02:55:02.000 They don't care.

02:55:03.000 But we also know, like, hey, how much of this is true?

02:55:07.000 This is a wacky one.

02:55:09.000 This is one that if you told your mom 10 years ago, she'd be like, Timmy, you're back on the drugs.

02:55:15.000 Yeah, she would. 1.00

02:55:16.000 She'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? 1.00

02:55:17.000 No one's going to an island to fuck kids. 1.00

02:55:20.000 But it's the same thing. 0.99

02:55:21.000 It's like, now that that's on the table, you look at other events and you're like, well, we don't know necessarily how all of these things happen.

02:55:30.000 No, we don't know.

02:55:31.000 We don't know.

02:55:31.000 We just have to go.

02:55:33.000 Listen, there's conservative fire companies from Queens, from out by Long Island, that because they've gotten sick and stuff, have demanded a new investigation.

02:55:44.000 And these are not crazy people.

02:55:47.000 These are people that just go, listen, we're all dying from first responders and things.

02:55:51.000 We want to know exactly what the hell we breathed in and what the hell's going on.

02:55:55.000 Well, it's all the burning chemicals from the basement of the building, right?

02:55:59.000 Wasn't that the idea?

02:56:00.000 Those fires burn forever.

02:56:01.000 I guess that's what it is.

02:56:02.000 Yeah, those guys got, so many of them got sick.

02:56:04.000 So many of them got cancer.

02:56:06.000 Yeah, it's horrible.

02:56:06.000 It's horrific.

02:56:07.000 It's really fucked up. 1.00

02:56:08.000 Donna Summer's died from that. 0.99

02:56:10.000 Donna Summer, the disco person? 0.96

02:56:11.000 Yeah.

02:56:12.000 Well, I don't really care about that.

02:56:13.000 Stop.

02:56:14.000 I'm kidding.

02:56:15.000 Don't.

02:56:15.000 How dare you?

02:56:16.000 I like her.

02:56:17.000 She's amazing.

02:56:17.000 She's great, but was she saving people at 9-11?

02:56:20.000 No, no, no.

02:56:21.000 She had an apartment that was near the site of the building.

02:56:24.000 It's like Donna Summers running into the building.

02:56:26.000 Dude, I think you live down there, man.

02:56:27.000 If you have an apartment down there and you can't move, you're breathing that air, man.

02:56:31.000 Interesting.

02:56:31.000 She died of lung cancer, I think.

02:56:33.000 I thought she was a smoker. 1.00

02:56:34.000 I don't think she was.

02:56:36.000 I thought she would just smoke cigarettes and do coke and live a fun disco life. 1.00

02:56:40.000 How dare you.

02:56:40.000 I think she found the Lord.

02:56:41.000 I had no idea she was a first responder.

02:56:43.000 After she gave up on all that hot love.

02:56:46.000 She was going through the wreckage.

02:56:48.000 God bless her. 1.00

02:56:49.000 No, she was not going through the wreckage.

02:56:50.000 She was just living there. 0.65

02:56:50.000 She was just living in her apartment. 0.65

02:56:52.000 Okay.

02:56:52.000 I think that's the idea.

02:56:54.000 Of course.

02:56:55.000 There are people that are probably very sick.

02:56:57.000 Oh, yeah, man.

02:56:58.000 Yeah, and they were lied to about the risks.

02:57:00.000 Well, I don't think anybody knew.

02:57:02.000 That's true.

02:57:02.000 Because nobody had ever had to endure an inferno in the basement of a gigantic building in the metropolitan city that lasted for weeks.

02:57:09.000 Crazy. 0.99

02:57:09.000 Right after planes crash, all the dust is in the air, all the fucking pollutants, particulates, and everybody's breathing all that shit in. 0.99

02:57:16.000 I mean, you've got to go back to work eventually, right? 0.99

02:57:18.000 Yeah.

02:57:18.000 Yeah, 100%.

02:57:19.000 So when you go back to work a week later, two weeks later, guess what? 0.97

02:57:21.000 The air's still fucked up. 0.97

02:57:22.000 Yeah. 0.98

02:57:23.000 Well, I'm sorry to hear about Donna Summer.

02:57:25.000 Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's correct.

02:57:26.000 Yeah.

02:57:26.000 But I'm wrong a lot.

02:57:29.000 Can you pull up a video of Donna Summer breathing in the fumes at Ground Zero?

02:57:35.000 She's great.

02:57:35.000 I saw her at Jones Beach.

02:57:36.000 She was really good.

02:57:37.000 Did you?

02:57:37.000 You saw her live?

02:57:38.000 I saw her at Jones Beach live.

02:57:39.000 What year was this?

02:57:40.000 She was older.

02:57:41.000 It was her comeback.

02:57:43.000 It was like 2000. Donna Summer blamed 9-11 for lung cancer. 0.81

02:57:47.000 It was like 2000. She was coming back.

02:57:49.000 She released a Greatest Hits album. 1.00

02:57:52.000 You and your ad blocker, you son of a bitch. 1.00

02:57:56.000 Those ad blockers... 1.00

02:57:57.000 Yeah, my producer Ben has them too, and he's always got them.

02:58:01.000 Donna Summer, 9-11, gave me cancer. 0.98

02:58:03.000 Well, that's not a fun song, is it?

02:58:05.000 No.

02:58:06.000 That's not a fun song.

02:58:07.000 Donna Summer was convinced that inhaling toxic air after 9-11 gave her the lung cancer that eventually killed her. 0.96

02:58:12.000 TMZ has learned.

02:58:12.000 Source close to the singer tells TMZ, who we're hearing this morning, that Donna was in New York City during 9-11, living at an apartment near Ground Zero.

02:58:21.000 Donna became almost paranoid about breathing the air, which was heavy, with a rancid odor.

02:58:26.000 Gotta move.

02:58:27.000 Gotta move.

02:58:28.000 In the months and years following 9-11, Donna's feelings intensified.

02:58:32.000 One source tells us that when he was around Donna, she would constantly spray some sort of disinfectant in the air.

02:58:37.000 Danny Terrio, the host of Dance Fever, tells us when he was around Donna post-9-11, she would hang six sheets in her dressing room to prevent dust from coming in.

02:58:49.000 Well...

02:58:49.000 Oh, my God.

02:58:50.000 She sounds like she did die of it.

02:58:53.000 And she also sounds like she's being annoying in the end. 0.97

02:58:56.000 She sounds like she's being a little annoying. 0.72

02:58:57.000 With her sheets.

02:58:58.000 It's a little annoying, Donna.

02:59:01.000 Yeah, I guess she probably didn't have the money to move. 1.00

02:59:03.000 I mean, I don't know.

02:59:05.000 You would think.

02:59:06.000 Last Dance?

02:59:06.000 But yeah, my dad saw her once performing in bars.

02:59:09.000 It was rough.

02:59:10.000 Sometimes people just spend all that money, man.

02:59:12.000 They have nothing left.

02:59:13.000 It's tough, man.

02:59:14.000 It's a marathon career.

02:59:16.000 Well, especially music. 0.99

02:59:17.000 Back then, who knows what kind of fucking crazy contract they were under. 0.98

02:59:21.000 Oh, they were under some. 0.95

02:59:22.000 Yeah, where you only get a certain percentage.

02:59:24.000 Everybody else gets all the real royalties.

02:59:26.000 Taylor Swift has that right now, right?

02:59:27.000 She's got something like that.

02:59:28.000 She's got a problem. 0.66

02:59:29.000 Yeah, someone owns the rights to her song, and she's not allowed to play some songs, and she was complaining on Twitter. 0.95

02:59:37.000 But I guess it's like someone buys the rights to her song.

02:59:40.000 And that's it.

02:59:41.000 It is what it is.

02:59:42.000 Yeah, like if you're an artist, and I think...

02:59:45.000 I think it's her manager, Scooter.

02:59:47.000 I think it's her former manager, right?

02:59:48.000 Her former manager bought all the rights to her music.

02:59:51.000 Yeah, man.

02:59:52.000 It's a dirty business.

02:59:53.000 It's a dirty game.

02:59:54.000 That's the dirtiest game.

02:59:55.000 This is what it is, though.

02:59:56.000 Don't you think, in all of Hollywood, that's the dirtiest game?

02:59:59.000 Because they take a full 360 deal.

03:00:02.000 They'll take everything.

03:00:03.000 That's a dirty game.

03:00:04.000 Child acting seems also rough from some documentaries I've seen.

03:00:07.000 Oh, that's the roughest.

03:00:08.000 That seems rough.

03:00:09.000 I was a child actor, but I failed.

03:00:11.000 I didn't even make it to L.A. I mean, I was doing shows in Long Island high schools.

03:00:15.000 Oh, good.

03:00:15.000 It was rough.

03:00:16.000 Thank God.

03:00:17.000 So you got a taste.

03:00:18.000 Yeah, I got a taste.

03:00:19.000 I mean, I auditioned for Big Thing.

03:00:20.000 And I was a good-looking kid, too.

03:00:21.000 I mean, I peaked when I was like seven and a half, and then it's been just a steady decline.

03:00:25.000 But the thing is, kids that go into that, it's bad.

03:00:30.000 Yeah, it's bad.

03:00:30.000 Did you see Corey Feldman on Good Day New York when he's dressed in all black and he's like jumping around like an MKUltra victim?

03:00:36.000 It's like, oh, this kid went through some shit that is horrific. 0.95

03:00:39.000 Do you remember when he used to do shows and he had Corey and his angels? 0.99

03:00:43.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

03:00:44.000 I had friends that would just go see that because it was really the best thing to watch.

03:00:49.000 Yeah.

03:00:50.000 Yeah. 0.99

03:00:52.000 But music is shitty. 0.93

03:00:54.000 Nobody gets through. 0.98

03:00:55.000 Nobody gets through.

03:00:56.000 You don't make it out of this town alive, really.

03:00:58.000 No.

03:00:58.000 This town will eat you alive.

03:00:59.000 Not like that you don't.

03:01:01.000 Right.

03:01:01.000 Not like that you don't.

03:01:02.000 This town will eat you alive.

03:01:03.000 Yeah.

03:01:04.000 Yeah.

03:01:04.000 But you still got to stay.

03:01:06.000 You can't leave.

03:01:06.000 You can't escape to some beautiful, quiet looks.

03:01:10.000 Because you set a great example.

03:01:11.000 When you're gone, it'll just be, you know, God only knows who's going to step in.

03:01:16.000 yeah yeah it'll be not good jesus christ you know who knows you're so lucky you weren't a musician right yeah my dad was a musician but it didn't really work out that well i mean he was really good and really talented but he didn't really go to the next level but music sucks well imagine being in a band and you gotta make sure the other guys show up at rehearsal yeah it's tough and they don't want to it's hard and one of the guy's girlfriends wants to get married and have a baby and wants him to quit the band and get a job yeah like tommy We're going on the road.

03:01:45.000 What are you doing?

03:01:46.000 Cindy really wants me to sit around.

03:01:48.000 That's why I didn't get into sketch comedy.

03:01:50.000 I didn't get into improv.

03:01:51.000 I didn't get into doing anything with a team.

03:01:54.000 I just wanted to be able to motivate myself.

03:01:57.000 I manage myself.

03:02:00.000 Do you?

03:02:00.000 That's it.

03:02:01.000 No, I have a manager.

03:02:03.000 Oh, okay.

03:02:03.000 Just handle yourself, not a team of people.

03:02:07.000 Yeah, I have a guy that I work with, Ben, who edits all my videos, who's great, who I love, but I don't have an interest in having a sketch group of people.

03:02:18.000 I want to be able to be light and fast and do things that I want to do when I want to do.

03:02:21.000 Stick and move.

03:02:22.000 Stick and move, hustler. 0.97

03:02:23.000 Are you still keto?

03:02:24.000 You know, there's been issues, but there's been some issues.

03:02:29.000 What's the issue?

03:02:30.000 I can keto today.

03:02:32.000 I've been keto today.

03:02:33.000 The issue is New York.

03:02:35.000 New York's a problem.

03:02:37.000 New York's a problem.

03:02:38.000 Calzones?

03:02:40.000 Listen, New York's a problem.

03:02:41.000 LA, there's no good carbs. 0.84

03:02:43.000 There's not a lot of good carbs here, Joe.

03:02:45.000 There'd be Italian restaurants here. 0.94

03:02:47.000 These people here are animals, to be honest. 0.99

03:02:50.000 It's all drugs and whatever else they're into, kids or whatever. 0.98

03:02:53.000 The point is they can't make a great, like a Linguinean clamp.

03:02:56.000 You can't get that here.

03:02:57.000 You can get it here.

03:02:58.000 But if you go to Brooklyn, it's like, come on.

03:03:00.000 So listen, there were small issues.

03:03:01.000 You can get it here.

03:03:02.000 There's only a few places though.

03:03:03.000 Okay.

03:03:04.000 And don't tell me them, please.

03:03:05.000 Okay.

03:03:06.000 But I'm back now and it's been a good positive trend and I sound like Kamala Harris.

03:03:16.000 Start spreading the news.

03:03:18.000 Yeah, but no, it's all good.

03:03:20.000 I text Shaub food.

03:03:21.000 He tells me if I can eat it or not.

03:03:22.000 Oh, beautiful.

03:03:23.000 He had a cookie, though, but he had a cookie.

03:03:25.000 He's got a t-shirt that says Keto Kid.

03:03:26.000 You should buy it and wear it.

03:03:28.000 Just remind yourself every day.

03:03:29.000 That I won't do.

03:03:30.000 He can give me a free one because he doesn't need any money.

03:03:32.000 He'll give you a free one.

03:03:33.000 He'll give me a free one.

03:03:34.000 He had a cookie once, and I said, well, how am I supposed to...

03:03:37.000 You're gonna be the keto kid?

03:03:38.000 Yeah, keto kid too.

03:03:39.000 You're the keto kid.

03:03:40.000 Keto kid.

03:03:41.000 Keto forever.

03:03:42.000 Tell them to give you five of those.

03:03:43.000 You wear one every day of the week.

03:03:44.000 The problem was I started to go to GNC and they're like, we have a keto brownie.

03:03:48.000 And I'm like, okay, but that's a problem. 1.00

03:03:51.000 Most of those taste like shit. 1.00

03:03:52.000 They taste like shit and then they just make you want a real one. 1.00

03:03:55.000 Yes. 1.00

03:03:55.000 So you just have to not do that. 1.00

03:03:57.000 Some of them are pretty good.

03:03:58.000 There's some pretty good keto cookies.

03:03:59.000 There's some keto cookie companies.

03:04:01.000 It's just not that easy to nail. 0.93

03:04:03.000 You know, it's not that easy to just fucking totally dial in. 0.89

03:04:06.000 It's a tough, it's a tough thing to do. 0.93

03:04:08.000 Yeah.

03:04:09.000 You know?

03:04:09.000 Just eat regular food.

03:04:10.000 Eat real food.

03:04:11.000 The thing for you, man, if you just cut out the sugar in the bread.

03:04:14.000 Cut out sugar in the bread, yeah.

03:04:16.000 No, I know.

03:04:17.000 And I had, I lost, and I still kept most of it off.

03:04:20.000 I just gotta keep going.

03:04:21.000 Are you hiking or anything?

03:04:22.000 I don't like hikings. 1.00

03:04:24.000 I don't like the way the earth looks in LA. The earth looks like it's horrible.

03:04:28.000 It's burned.

03:04:29.000 It's an arid wasteland.

03:04:30.000 But I'll go to areas like Hancock Park and I'll walk around wealthy areas.

03:04:35.000 That's good.

03:04:36.000 Hancock Park's nice.

03:04:37.000 I like it there.

03:04:37.000 Have you ever been to Griffith Park?

03:04:39.000 I went there once, I saw a coyote, and he ran away from me.

03:04:43.000 You gotta bring a knife or a gun, but you should go.

03:04:45.000 Well, who's gonna attack?

03:04:46.000 Coyotes, just fear me.

03:04:47.000 They don't attack me.

03:04:49.000 They look at me and they go, it's a bear, and they leave. 0.99

03:04:52.000 Eventually they're gonna kill a person, it might be you. 0.99

03:04:54.000 One day. 0.78

03:04:55.000 If I'm the first guy to get killed by coyotes in Griffith Park, that's exactly the way I deserve to go. 0.61

03:05:00.000 You would be the first. 1.00

03:05:00.000 They've been hiding shit. 1.00

03:05:01.000 But you know what I'm doing now? 1.00

03:05:02.000 Swimming, because I used to be a great swimmer.

03:05:04.000 I was a great swimmer.

03:05:05.000 Didn't a guy get bit by a coyote at Griffith Park?

03:05:08.000 Didn't they bit a homeless man?

03:05:09.000 I think they bit a homeless man while he was asleep.

03:05:12.000 Well, we're taking his word for it?

03:05:13.000 You don't believe him?

03:05:14.000 He had a bite.

03:05:15.000 Yeah, but from another homeless person.

03:05:18.000 You think so?

03:05:18.000 And they blamed him on a coyote?

03:05:19.000 Yeah, he blamed him on a coyote.

03:05:20.000 What was that, Tom?

03:05:21.000 That's a coyote! 0.99

03:05:22.000 He wanted money from the city.

03:05:24.000 Yeah.

03:05:25.000 Did a homeless guy get bit by a coyote?

03:05:26.000 Do you ever swim?

03:05:27.000 Swimming's one of the greatest exercises.

03:05:29.000 It's a Montebello park.

03:05:30.000 Oh, Montebello Park.

03:05:31.000 Two years ago.

03:05:32.000 Three years ago.

03:05:33.000 I do swim, but I gotta tell you, I had a nightmare that you're just reminding me.

03:05:38.000 Yeah.

03:05:38.000 That I was swimming last night and there were sharks in the water.

03:05:41.000 And I was swimming back at night from some place and everybody was just doing it.

03:05:45.000 We're all just taking a chance and we're like, oh my god, we're so crazy.

03:05:48.000 That's crazy.

03:05:49.000 This could be the time where one of us dies.

03:05:52.000 And they're like, dude, people swim so often.

03:05:53.000 It's so rare that people get bit by sharks.

03:05:55.000 Yeah.

03:05:56.000 And I was just thinking, yeah, but it does happen.

03:05:57.000 It's not like...

03:05:58.000 Seagulls don't kill people. 1.00

03:05:59.000 Right.

03:06:00.000 When you're around seagulls, you're like, are you sure?

03:06:02.000 Yeah.

03:06:03.000 They never killed anyone ever.

03:06:04.000 It can happen.

03:06:04.000 I mean, I do it in a pool.

03:06:06.000 But I'll go to the ocean, too.

03:06:07.000 But I'll swim like laps.

03:06:09.000 Swimming's amazing.

03:06:10.000 That's the real...

03:06:11.000 That's a great exercise.

03:06:12.000 It's such a great exercise.

03:06:13.000 It wears you the fuck out, and it's super low impact.

03:06:17.000 Yeah, it's low impact.

03:06:18.000 Because I'm not going to do something like that, and I don't like hiking, and I don't really like running.

03:06:24.000 What about heroic boxing?

03:06:26.000 Yeah, maybe.

03:06:27.000 Housewife boxing?

03:06:28.000 Yeah, maybe.

03:06:29.000 Housewife boxing?

03:06:30.000 Thank you for that suggestion.

03:06:32.000 Where would Housewife Boxing be? 1.00

03:06:33.000 I'd love to get involved with Housewife Boxing. 1.00

03:06:34.000 We'll find out where you are.

03:06:35.000 What's a gym near you?

03:06:37.000 I'm West Hollywood.

03:06:38.000 I'm right down the block from the improv.

03:06:39.000 Oh, yeah.

03:06:40.000 There's got to be spots.

03:06:41.000 There's a spot on Sunset that Justin Bieber invested in.

03:06:44.000 Oh, Unbreakable Gyms?

03:06:46.000 No, no, no.

03:06:46.000 The boxing place.

03:06:47.000 It's on the corner. 0.96

03:06:48.000 I will absolutely fight women. 1.00

03:06:50.000 You know what I'm talking about? 0.97

03:06:50.000 I will fight women. 0.97

03:06:52.000 At Housewife Boxing. 0.89

03:06:54.000 And swim.

03:06:54.000 And then get back on...

03:06:56.000 Who do you want to challenge for the intergender championship of the world? 0.98

03:06:59.000 I think me and Chelsea.

03:07:01.000 You and Chelsea? 0.56

03:07:02.000 Have to do it.

03:07:02.000 Because it's not a gimme.

03:07:03.000 She's a tough woman. 0.61

03:07:05.000 She's very mean.

03:07:06.000 She'll come get you. 0.90

03:07:06.000 She's a mean woman. 0.90

03:07:07.000 She elbowed me in a plane once. 0.91

03:07:08.000 She didn't even know that she was doing it.

03:07:09.000 She was in first class.

03:07:10.000 I was walking to coach.

03:07:11.000 And she just kind of went like this.

03:07:13.000 So I kind of want a rematch.

03:07:15.000 I think it would be a good thing for comedy for me to fight her. 1.00

03:07:20.000 Okay.

03:07:21.000 Dude, it's almost 7 o'clock.

03:07:23.000 Let's wrap this up.

03:07:24.000 Wild.

03:07:24.000 Thank you again.

03:07:25.000 Tim motherfucking Dylan. 0.98

03:07:26.000 Thank you again. 0.97

03:07:26.000 Now, I'm sorry I got the show banned from YouTube. 0.97

03:07:29.000 It was a good last episode for all of us.

03:07:31.000 I enjoyed it.

03:07:32.000 I appreciate it.

03:07:33.000 Thank you, brother.

03:07:33.000 Thanks, brother.

03:07:34.000 Bye, everybody.

03:07:34.000 Oh, tell everybody your Instagram, your Twitter.

03:07:36.000 Tim J. Dillon, D-I-L-L-O-N on Instagram and Twitter and the Tim Dillon Show podcast and on YouTube.

03:07:41.000 Thank you.

03:07:41.000 Woo!

03:07:43.000 Thank you, dude.

03:07:44.000 A lot of fun now.

03:07:45.000 That was really fun.

03:07:46.000 I hope Chelsea Handler doesn't... 1.00

The Joe Rogan Experience - November 22, 2019

Joe Rogan Experience #1390 - Tim Dillon

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Transcript